#it’s all toxic ass shit too let me tell ya

[woundedheartwithin]

Bitches be like I don’t ship these two characters and then write 73 one shots and two long fics of them fucking it’s me I’m bitches

[moonybug444]

toxic thoughts with connie<33

tw toxic relationships/lowkey abuse?? | connie grabs you by your hair n threatens ya | mean connie☹️☹️

thinkin about connie n you being in a toxic lil on and off relationship. calling it quits every other day cuz youre just so bad for eachother.

you guys are screaming n throwing shit at eachother every chance you get. but its never your fault, no its always connies.

“youre a fuckin idiot (y/n),” he takes another drag from the blunt in his hand, “‘nd you’ve got one more time to raise your voice at me before i come over there and beat the shit outta you.”

its just a threat. an empty fucking threat, you know it is, but glancing up at him shirtless, muscles bulging with nothing but his plaid blue boxers on and a mean glare on his face. you cant help that chilling shiver that goes down your spine.

“m’not—dont call me that!”

“maybe than, lets see…” he lets out a mocking loud laugh, “dont fucking act like one?” you hate how he wants to make you cry. how he wants to see you act a mess. how he does everything in his power to upset you. and you hate he he almost always wins. always pulls a reaction out of you.

you feel the tears spill over your cheeks before you can even try n hold em in and you do everything in your power to not just flop down on his clean grey carpet and roll around and curse him. thats what connie springer does to you.

“‘m so fuckin done with you,” you pull up the strap of the lightpink nightgown silk dress connie gifted you as a im sorry for fucking up, again gift that just flops right back off your shoulder, “nd m’serious hic this time, you wont every hear from me again.”

bullshit. you know its bullshit. and it pains you to admit, but you dont think you’ll ever truly be done with connie springer.

connie sits up at that. intrigued. “oh really?” he’s putting his joint out in the ass-shaped ashtray he stole from jean and scratching his hickey covered neck (from guess who) and you can tell hes not taking you seriously. he never does.

his tone is mocking when he huffs out, “go ‘head, y’know where the fucking door is dum-dum.” he’s grabbing the remote, just about to turn on somethin other than the lame shit playing on tv before your throwing one of your bunny slippers directly at his face.

atleast you tried hitting direct. it barely grazes his ear but youre still satisfied when you see his scrunched up face.

and you know hes real mad. his handsome face is turning red at the minute and hes grabbing the slipper from his side before heading towards you.

you try to get away quick, little feet making it maybe two steps out the room before hes grabbin you by the hair and pulling you towards the ground. “ow—connie,” here come the tears again, “s-stop..! let go of me!”

“stop all that fucking crying before i really give you some shit to cry about,” hes letting go of your hair and turning around before your shoving him from behind, trying to get even. “dont fucking touch me! i dont fucking care—” he cuts you off, “shut the fuck up. my gosh.” and hes turning around, grabbing you by your now scrunched up nightgown and pulling you real close to his face.

he can see how upset you are. the tears streaming down your puffy face, your brows all furrowed and all the hiccups coming from your swollen, wobbly lip. sometimes yeah, he does feel bad for how he treats you. the random disappearing days when he knows how much you depend on him, the name-calling even though he knows you cry over every-fucking-thing, the pushes and the shoves knowing your barely half his size. all of it.

still he cant help it. maybe theres something wrong with him. he doesnt know and he doesnt really care. he knows you wont leave so what the fuck, why would he stop?

“look at you,” he takes the hand that isnt practically raising you up to your tippytoes and cups your face, running his thumb over your bottom lip, “your the prettiest girl in the world y’know that? too bad your a crazy bitch.”

>_<

its only like an hour later n youve forgotten all about the petty fight with your boyfriend. forgot that you threw the slipper at him cause he was being sneaky with his phone nd refused to let you see it. dont care tho. you love him again.

“feels so good baby,” he groans, pushing in n out of your slippery pussy with his thick cock, “i love you so much…y’know that?”

you’re being shuffled down towards his standing form some more, ass hanging off of the bed and pushing against fat balls that are pat, pat, patting against your squishy thighs.

“yesyesyes, love you—i-i love you!” you dont even know what the fuck your saying—cant process anything but the feeling of his fat cock stuffing you full. hes so deep n you and its hard to even breathe. feel like hes up your nose.

“s’deep connie ngh…m’cummin again,” youre looking up at him. watching his pretty eyes open n close again n again. watching him bite his saliva covered lips and waching his button nose scrunch up in pleasure. your eyes flick down to obvious bulge in your tummy and you mewl wrapping your legs around his moving hips. trapping him.

your pussy is so fucking greedy, suckin him in again n again and she still cant get enough. connies bringing his hand down and pushing right on that bulge in your pretty tummy that has you both whining. looking you right in the eyes, “go ‘head princess,” and he giggles when you let out the sluttiest little moan, “that feel good huh?”

youre whining out the loudest connnieee follwed by some praise before your squirting all over him, getting both your tummies soaked up and making a mess all over his dark blue bedsheets.

hes following close after with an annoyingly sexy, fuuuck baby and coming right in your swollen pussy.

youre so tired. can hardly open your eyes when you feel connie already pulling out of you to go clean you up. grabbing one of his freshly cleaned sweat towels usually reserved for basketball, crouching down and dabbing it around your messy pussy.

“there you go princess,” hes speaking not to you, but to your cunt, “good as new.” hes leaving a big wet kiss to your pussy like he always does, standing right after and hovering over you to leave an even wetter kiss to your abused lips, throwing the towel somewhere across the room.

>_<

your cozily straddling connie in his bed, being lulled to sleep by his fingers smoothing over your hair.

hes smoking again, cautious enough to not blow it in your face though—he knows you hate smoke—thats only for when he wants to piss you off. you hear him clear his throat.

“m’gonna stop this baby,” hes smoothing over the same roots of your hair he tugged on earlier, “m’serious, no more of this arguing shit,” he grabs your face, pushing your lips into a pout. “ill do better.”

yeah fucking right. you both know thats bullshit. you guys ‘ll be back at all the screaming n yelling tomorrow.

[gothcsz]

ya know, I always feel like everybody sees Javi as this huge horn dog that would absolutely agree to any threesome stuff and all that.

Buuuut listen. If you were dating that man, he would be possessive as shit. Like if you even dare to think about another guy, like popular one would be Steve. And you even just make a tiny joke about Steve like that, you know Javi would be fucking you so god damn hard that you would forget any other name on the planet except his. He would be so damn possessive, telling you that you know nobody but him could fuck you like this, that you don’t need anybody but him. That man would destroy your 🐱 and make you so cock dumb to make you forget even thinking about another guy.

And he would definitely glare are Steve for a while after and Steve just has no idea what’s going on 😂

possessive/jealous javi is my fucking favoriteeeeee sorry not sorry a bitch just loves a slightly toxic man! and his possessiveness doesn’t even stem from a place of insecurity, lbr, this man is self assured if anything— a cocky POS but he’s our cocky POS.

pobre steve unknowingly in the middle of you and javi’s sex mind games lmfao i def feel like it started as a fleeting comment…

“Yeah, I guess Steve’s kinda cute. His eyes are so pretty.”

and you didn’t even think twice about it. it was just a simple compliment but it still left a weird taste on javi’s tongue.

and then you really start to notice it, the shift in his demeanor when you stop by to visit him at work. you probably chat with steve for a brief moment before walking over to your man and that pisses him off. how are you here to see him but instead are laughing at one of steve’s not funny at all dad jokes?! i dunno he probably starts to make petty comments of his own here and there that tip you off to his jealousy and honestly?

it turns you on. javi is always walking around like he’s got the biggest dick in town (he might actually….) so seeing him this worked up over seemingly nothing… well you’re going to have your fun with it because you’re a fucking brat sometimes.

i’m picturing some bullshit office party where you’ve had one too many to drink so you decide to scratch that itch and lightly flirt with steve (sorry connie we’re being horny over here) in the same way you did with javi when you two first started dating.

and boy does that set him off 😫 he waits until you’re coming back from the restroom before he pulls you into a dark and empty office, absolutely degrading you; calling you a slut and attention whore before harshly pushing you down onto your knees and bruising your throat with the way he’s fucking it.

“Nena esa boquita sucia es mía y de nadie más.”

once you’re a slobbering, sobbing mess, he roughly bends you over whoever’s desk, not even bothering to undress you as he hikes your skirt up and pushes your panties to the side, fucking into you in one stroke and you scream his name out.

the bastard has giant ass smirk on his face through it all, setting a brutal pace as his hips crash into yours repeatedly, his heavy balls slapping against your clit and you’re reduced to being a babbling, fucked out woman as he keeps spilling filth into your ear.

“Who do you belong to?”

“Whose pussy is this?”

“That’s right baby it’s fucking mine. You’re mine.”

and, well, who are you to disagree with that? you cum so hard, your vision is dotted with spots and you genuinely feel like you’re going to pass out with how rough he’s just taken you.

your cunt swollen and so sensitive but you don’t give a damn— squeezing around his cock as he paints your walls with his spend; marking you as his.

your brain is filled with him just as much as your pussy is. as he intended. and it’s a great feeling, really. even if you know you’re going to be sore as hell for the days to come.

let me stop before i go on a tangent (as if i haven’t already lol) but yes…. he’d rock your world that smug asshole!!

[ewitsren]

dating hawk (eli moskowitz) hcs

this mf is the best bf material yall i stg

overprotective as fuck, king of pda. always has an arm around your waist/shoulder or holds your hand, kisses you anywhere, anytime.

mf about to start real drama shit if a male approaches you

"who the fuck are you?"

if he sees anyone making his gf uncomfortable he's throwing kicks and punches in no time

clingy, touch starved. wants to be around you 24/7. date night every night even if yall see each other at school all day

"wear whatever ya want, i can fight." type of boyfriend

very attentive and supportive. he's a good observer and does everything he can to not make you sad/uncomfy. will back you up in any situation, supports whatever you want to do

loves seeing his clothes on you, hides your clothes in his place to make you wear his.

carries 2 jackets in case you get cold too

mf loves cuddling he's the big spoon, likes knowing that he makes you feel safe. kisses your neck and carresses your hair while cuddling

loves staying in and just listen to music while cuddling in rainy days

chooses sad romance movies to make you cry and comforts you

loves it when you make him lay on your lap and play with his hair (when it's down) while you tell him about your day

if someone makes you mad throwing kicks in no time again

loves it when you get mad at him though will never admit it

learns how to cook for you

has complicated feelings about you getting into a fight

"go babe, kick their ass!"

hawk cheered as he watched you.

"that's my girl."

"hey, calm down!"

hawk wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you to himself, not allowing you to attack as he held you tightly

"you could've gotten hurt, just call me instead."

makes a playlist for you, new songs every week

most toxic trait is jealousy. gets jealous too easily. he either walks up to you and kisses you aggressively / puts his hand around your waist or straight up punches the person

buys you rings bc he loves it when you wear rings

puts his hand on your thigh when you sit next to him

kisses.all.over.your.face.

no matter where you are, he kisses you. lips, cheeks, shoulders, neck, nose, forehead, anywhere.

picks it up real quick if you're bummed. puts on your comfort movie, makes your comfort food and goes into it

"you know i'm here for you."

"let it all out."

best bf

[liluchunnies]

I was ranting to my friend about mha being my new fixation and how I’m relapsing to that LIKE MHA IN 2024 that’s gotta be a new low for me😭✊

I was telling them how I miss 2020 mha because I REALLY LIKED WHEN WE HC THE LOV TO BE A FAMILY BEFORE SHIT GOT SERIOUS💔💔💔

And then I said smith like ‘I miss villain deku’ so I proceeded to go on an entire analysis as to why and how villain deku was made and looking back it, I decided to post it cuz this shit is way too funny.

SO ENJOY!! (this is like half satire)

♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡

Okie so basically: U might think 'what does bkdk have to do anything with it?' Ya u've probably heard of it and say it was popular ERRR WRONG it was deemed toxic in the earlier seasons of the show since bakugo bullied deku in middle school and was still kinda an ass to him (it was only in like s5-s7 where bkdk became MUTUAL and had themes like loyalty and friendship surround it)

So whats that gotta do with v.deku?? There was a specific line bakugo said to deku which was "go take a swan dive off the roof and pray you're born with a quirk in your next life" so people wanted to be like "u know what this dude's life is so bad he needs to be a villain" and thats exactly what they made him (background of the context: deku was born quirkless so he's ostricized from the others and ur gonna say "hows a quirkless person gonna be a villain" deku's like REALLY smart he's a nerd who literally analyzes everyones quirk and has every single detail of it on his ntbk

And another plot hole they can add is making all might say a different thing:

(Background of the context: All Might is a famed hero and is, not surprisingly, also deku's fav hero so of course he looked up to him.

In canon, deku was saved by all might and thats when deku asks him "can i be a hero too even without a quirk" i forgot the specific details about it but he's basically made into all might's successor and that gave him a fighting chance)

Going back to the idea now:

In v.deku au, instead of encouraging deku, all might crushes his dreams and tells him "naw dawg u cant be a hero ur a quirkless loser" and thats another way they can diverge from the canon while still maintaning some aspects of the original to support their au

In most v.deku aus, he joins the LOV (league of villains) and sometimes in gacha vids, him and shigaraki are siblings

(Background of the context: in canon, all might passes down his quirk to deku which is called "One for All" now this quirk originated from a single person atleast 9 generations ago. That bitch had a brother who's quirk was stealing other ppl's quirk and he's like the main antag so the good brother was like "yo i wont let u do that" and wow golly gee wilikers guess what the evil bro's name is?? All for one which is just OFA but reversed.

So what does that have to do with deku and shigaraki?? If deku is all might's successor, shigaraki is AFO's successor. Also transferring or passing down quirks can like tie the past and present conscious of the users.

BUT! THATS NOT ALL!! Thats actually partly canon already and was used later in the series AFTER that fact was revealed!!

The actual popular reason/theory is that AFO is deku's dad and since AFO adopted shigaraki, that would mean deku and shigaraki are half-siblings)

Afo being deku's dad is STILL a popular theory till this day

omg I can’t forget about their matching red shoes

♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡

No way am I taking this more seriously than my actual essays for school😭✊

[searenbound]

I mentioned merging these and now I can’t not do it so here’s toxic baby daddy Bakugou

Warnings: toxic relationship, dubcon, manipulation, afab reader with she/her pronouns, unprotected sex

Paring: Katsuki Bakugou x reader

This relationship was messy from the start

They honestly couldn’t even call it a relationship in the beginning

It was a “friends” with benefits situation, playing loss with the term friend

They never really got along except for when he had her face down ass up or her legs over his shoulders

Really, she only dealt with him because of his dick

So the cute coworker she had eyes for finally asked her, she didn’t hesitate to break things off with Bakugou

Who was livid about it

Months of sleeping together, trying his hardest to get on her good side so she’ll want more than just dick

And she throws him to the side so easily?

At least she tried to

She was meant to be done with him, but she got pregnant fast with new guy.

Too fast

Her estimated conception time didn’t line up with when they started dating let alone sleeping together

It couldn’t have been his which meant

“How far along are ya?”

Bakugou was way calmer than she expected

Truthfully he was ecstatic

“3 months”

He looks at her with what interpreted as stony gaze so she continued in hopes of assuring him she’s being honest

“I’ve been with him for a little over a month now so it’s not his and—”

“You’ve been crying”

“Well he dumped me so.…”

She brings a hand up to her face as if expecting to discover she’s shed a few tears again and he tells her he knew because she always acts tough like nothing bothers her when she’s been crying

She doesn’t know why he cares or why she offered up the information so easily.

But before she questions him he’s talking again

“Fuck him then, all that means is I don’t gotta beat his ass to keep him away. His loss anyways”

She assumes he’s joking to try and cheer her up, but he couldn’t be more serious

He regretted letting her slip away and now that he’s knocked her up

She’s stuck with him for the rest of her life

He’ll be sure no one tries to take her away from him again

He gives a month before he’s insisting she moves into his guest room and offering to help find an apartment that’ll accommodate her and the baby when they’re born

He didn’t expect things to move so fast after that

But your hormones drive her crazy and her libido goes up like crazy

And well…

He already knows how to fuck her right, and a warm body against hers feels so much nicer than her lonely little bed

And he definitely wasn’t complaining

Especially when she bit her lip and said the condom wasn’t necessary if she was already pregnant

It was nice

Like he wanted to make love and not just fuck her

Whispering dirty praises into her and playing with her clit and telling her how gorgeous her and her growing baby bump are

It’s easy to forget how much of an ass he can be when he’s like that

Easy to say yes to him when he asks if she wants to try a real relationship

But then they start arguing over stupid shit

And she starts remembering why they weren’t official before

Snd locks herself in her borrowed room and he wonders why she has to be so combative with him

Nothing ever gets resolved though because they always end up fucking about it in the end

By the time their daughter’s 2 birthday comes around she’s been moved out and they’ve broken up for the past year but it isn’t easy

Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to get over him and his dick when she has to see him often, and he knows it.

He’s a good father, his daughter clearly comes first with him so she tolerate him being in their lives still

Because kids deserve to know and love their father

And doesn’t think their past is reason to keep him away

He’s well aware of that too

He knows she’s“over it” but not over him and he’ll be damned if he let’s some fucking loser extra come into her life and play house with his family.

So he keeps them at bay and flaunts the fact he’s the current number 2 hero and they aren’t on his level

Then reminds her of just how charismatic and charming he can be when he tries to be

Pushing all the right buttons and saying all the right things to get her to let him in her bed again.

She tries so hard to fight his seduction but she’s still fixated on him

Much to disappointment and displeasure, she finds she still in love with who she thought he was and sees parts of it in the way he is with their daughter

It’s hard getting over the past when you see glimpses of the future you could have had all the time after all

So yeah, when another date turns out to be a bust, she often finds herself comforted by the man who embodies her poor taste in men as well as the good

And unfortunately she tends to forget about the bad in the relationship and let’s him take her

In her defense

He’s an incredible lover

He’s attentive in bed, paying close attention to all her reactions and responding accordingly

He’s never too gentle or too rough, he’s a perfect in between in pace

And god the way he fills her out, she’s certain if a divine entity were to make a perfect cock it’d be his

[wh0lemilk0vich]

how do you think force feeding plays into ian and mickeys dynamic? obviously mickey eats his fill all on his own—he doesn’t need ian’s direction in simply eating, not necessarily needed to make eating sexy either. But, force feedings gotta heighten the experience for ian if he’s in a particularly dominant headspace or!! if mickeys being a whiny brat and needs something to fill his mouth?

or maybe they’re at a club and someone’s eyeing mickey up from across the bar and ian happens to be grabbing himself and mickey drinks—right next to mickeys little admirer— and he notices that ian’s drooling in mickeys direction too and nudges ian, saying something like “look at the ass on that big boy, bet i could fuck his tits too,” and at ian’s incredulous look he adds, “might be a little overfed though, probably can’t see his own dick.” And ian is overwhelmed with both possessive-derived anger and downright horniness, he turns around and smacks the bar to order whatever greasy pub food he can get his hands on and into his husbands fat belly—snatching up the food and grumbling all the way to his fat ass husband, “overfed?? fucker hasn’t seen overfed, yet.” …i think maybe then there would be some force feeding because mickey can, actually, see his dick. but ian’s about to make sure he won’t be able to for long.

Please I'm begging you never to stop sending me messages, this is so fucking delightfully sinful and I am gagging for more. I feel so seen!!!

You're absolutely right. Ian and Mickey do not necessarily see themselves as like a feeder/feedee gainer couple, obsessed with the growth and like internally motivated between them, BUT they fucking love the dynamic and Mickey is so fucking hot to Ian fat. The boy likes to eat and nothing's gonna stop him from that, least of all Ian who would have been more than happy just to be a witness, let alone a participant. And fuck if getting to take charge and fill that boy up until he's groaning, panting, hard and leaking doesn't make him go absolutely feral.

The forcefeeding is 100000% through and through part and parcel of brat taming and their reciprocal possession of each other. Who cares if there's a little toxicity when it's so fucking hot?

It would be one thing if this fucker at the bar just gushed about how hot his husband was. He'd be self satisfied and leave the guy alone knowing he had good taste. But of course the fuckwad just had to go and want what was his, and what's worse is he didn't even seem grateful for what a beautifully big, soft, plump boy Mickey was. How fat fat and gorgeous IAN and his love made him. He would show that fuck big. Absolutely ordering everything he could pulling Mickey away, hand feeding him everything bite by bite, catching eyes with the guy who at least had the decency to look both aroused and ashamed which would only fuel Ian on. Ian there feeling Mickey up through his jeans, popping the button for him, getting a big, possessive hand on his belly to rub it possessively, nibbling at his ear, whispering the most depraved shit "that's right Mick, eat up. If you want it long and hard, I need you big and soft. Keep eating fat boy. Fuck you look so hot. I can't wait to fuck your fat ass ragged when we get home. You'd like that wouldn't you? Fuck you're beautiful."

The next time they're at the club/bar, Ian purposefully runs into that guy again, gets back to the small talk, Mickey's visibly bigger. "Ya know, I remember what you were saying about my husband," venom dripping out of his mouth, "You were right about a few things. That ass on him? Divine, fucking beatific. The way those cheeks fucking swallow me... And his tits? Don't even fucking get me started. I mean, listen, I'm packing nine inches and I swear it disappears between those perky fucking puppies. But I've gotta tell you. You were wrong about one fucking thing. There's no over feeding that boy. There's only giving him every. fucking. Morsel he's worth. So let's get something straight, pal. I hear one more fucking word from you about my husband other than complete, utter, worshipful, unrequitedly devotional, unobtainable desire, and you, my friend, are a fucking dead man. Now how would you like to buy my big boy a drink, huh?" Clapping him on the shoulder and getting buddy-buddy.

This was truly so beautiful please please please send me more, this makes me want to write 😭😭

[qrosewinter]

Toxic

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Description : Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3... To be continued.

Summery: Where a girl from New Zealand goes to brooklyn to live with her Auntie and Uncle, mets a brooklyn boy with secrets and a voice like honey with pretty hazel green eyes.

Where a brooklyn boy mets a girl from New Zealand with an accent he's never heard before, who he can't seem to forget.

And a Polynesian girl struggling to find who she is in the concrete jungle of NYC so far from home.

The start of the most unlikely relationship between two people starts to bloom, between a brooklyn boy who's just a little misunderstood.

Will this relationship bloom or stay untouched? Maybe we should let fate take the lead for this one.

Fic summary: slow burn, obvious to flirting, a little bit of angst, romance, revenge, anger.

WARNINGS ⚠️: Horrible attempts at slang, Horrible attempts at Spanish, Swearing, Weapons, Gore, Drugs, Alcohol, Mature themes, Spelling mistakes.

Chapter 2: Am I seeing shit again.

Are you hearing voices again? -Unknown

{{♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡}}

It's been about 3-4 days since I went to Visions and walked right into someone making a damn fool out of myself, but then again, what's new?

Not gonna lie it wasn't one of my best moments how awkward I felt I mean like, why in hells name did I say 'Have a good day' so god dammed awkwardly, why the fuck did I even say it at all!?

Could have said something like, "Well, sorry about that, but I gotta go, see ya. But not you had to go and say".

'Have a good day?', if I could punch myself so hard right now to make myself forget I ever said that I would, in a heartbeat.

But too bad you can't now can you :/

I'll be starting at Visions next week though, so I guess I have more chances to male myself out to be a fool, they did tell me during my little interview thing or whatever you wanna call it.

They didn't have any dormrooms ready for me at the moment.

so I won't be moving to the dorms anytime soon, which is fair.

I did so happen to start up at that school. What? A little past first term or semester, I think they call it here in America?

I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the education system here, and I still don't understand a damn thing.

But anyway, I won't be put in a dorm room yet until they find an either an empty one or someone without a roommate, which I don't think will happen anytime soon.

But the good news is I don't live very far from school. The bad news is I'd have to wake up earlier to get ready and be out the door before school starts, which sucks ass.

But beggers can't be choosers, so I'll take it, means I won't have to share a room with someone I don't know that's a plus, I guess.

Still don't know how I'll handle seeing that guy. It'll be awkward. That's for

《 ○ 》

"Y/N!" My Auntie lily yelled from the kitchen, and I snapped out of my thoughts and looked away from the little notebook I was writing in seated at my desk.

"Yeah?" I called back out to her as I leaned back in my desk chair, tilting my head towards the door and waiting for a response.

But when I didn't get one, I groaned, frustrated, and rolled my eyes.

I hated when people did that. Even when parents did that, call out your name to get your attention, but don't say a damn thing, so you gotta get up to see what they want.

Only to be asked to do the most simplistic things ever, like pass them the TV remote.

But it's right in front of them on the coffee table, or they don't even remember anymore and tell you never mind.

I got up grumbling to myself under my breath as I walked out of my bedroom.

in the simplest outfit of an oversized black hoodie with a small red and white mushroom on the front over my left breast and two bigger ones on the back, with the words 'Let's take a trip' and just some simple army green shorts that used to be pants before I cut them up into shorts.

My hair was pulled back messily into an attempt at a bun before I gave up and left it as is.

I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, my bare feet barely making any sound on the carpet until I got to the kitchen.

And I leaned against the doorframe. "Yeah?" I said to my auntie, lazily raising an eyebrow at her with my hands stuffed into my hoodie pocket.

"Ah there you are, Me haere koe ki te toa maku ki te tiki i etahi mea maku, he rarangi takuKa taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki." my Auntie said to me as she said to me as she picked up a list she had written out for me and held it out for me to take, along with a few bills to pay for everything on the list.

I groaned tipping my head back "ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake" I said back to her as I dropped my head forward and took the list and money reluctantly.

"Yes, you'll be fine. Just take a knife and put it in your pocket." My Auntie huffed at me, waving my words off as she turned around to finish putting the dishes away.

I grumbled but didn't complain openly at least as I plucked a semi-sharp knife from the knife block and shoved it into my pocket as I turned and walked back to my room to get my jandels (Flip flops for the Americans :) )

I slipped them on, pulled my hood up over my messy hair shoved the list and money into my pocket along with putting my phone in my back pocket and taking just one earbud out of my JBL case and putting it in my ear.

Before I left the apartment, after going down some stairs out of the apartment building.

I tapped the side of my earbud about two times to skip through the songs I didn't want to listen too until I settled on 'Never enough by Six60' a classic song from a band back home.

"Still can't shake the feelin' in my bones, it won't leave me, it won't let me go," I sung under my breath to myself as I kept walking down the dark empty streets to the store about three blocks away.

It was dark besides a few lightposts lining the streets, some flickering others doing just fine. Brooklyn in the daytime was so different compared to the nighttime.

At night, it was dangerous. You had to keep your guard up, and I wasn't stupid. I knew crime ran wild at night in brooklyn.

I'd seen enough of it on TV, hearing people tall about it, and so on. It's the reason this city had a curfew, and why it kept getting early depending on just how bad it kept getting, and so far, it was getting worse before it's ever going to get better.

The once lively streets looked so much darker, like something out of a horror movie, not a sound besides the faint buzzing of streetlights.

feral cats digging through trash, the odd whisper of something in the alleyways and the sound of TV's playing from inside buildings.

But I wasn't completely dumb, I knew as quiet as it was, as empty as everything seemed around me.

I wasn't actually alone out here tonight, there was others out here, none with good intentions and anyone who did.

well, let's just say they wouldn't be there for long.

which is the reason my aunt made me take a knife with me for self-defense.

And what I knew I had to do was keep an eye out so I was, I kept an eye on my surroundings.

but made sure to make myself look relaxed and not all tense knowing that I'll just draw attention to myself if I did.

I glanced up and around me, though the streets were dangerous at night. I couldn't help but find them strangely beautiful too.

The way the stars just barely, peeked through the clouds in the sky under the pollution in the air, the way the street lights cast light on curtain parts of the streets and slowly left the others bathed in darkness.

The way the colours played off of everything around me was just in a strangely weird and beautiful. It's in its own dark twisted kinda way, of course, but still had a certain charm to it.

"There was a time when you would've given me everything that you own, The only thing you left me was alone.." I sung to myself under my breath as I kept my hands in my pocket.

my right hand gripping the handle of the knife loosely judt in case.

I sighed softly, sqinting my eyes as i looked in front of me.

I was tired from not sleeping properly the past few nights.

for some reason staying up until five in the morning then going to sleep, which yes I know is fucking stupid.

But I just couldn't get to sleep, for some stupid reason or another.

But still, I kept walking. I had just 2 more blocks to go before I hit the store to grab a few things, and then I could go home, collapse in bed, and die until tomorrow afternoon hopefully.

~I guess our time is up, I've given you too much, I just need to keep on movin', cause I still crave your touch, why won't you fade to dust?~

~so I can line you up, enough is never enough (ooh-ooh), enough is never enough(ooh-ooh), with every single does (oh-oh-oh), losin' all control (oh-oh-oh), never is never enough(ooh-ooh)~

( Miles's POV)

Meanwhile, with Miles....

~as I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at myself and realize there's nothin' left, 'cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that, even my mama thinks that my mind is gone~

Miles hummed along to the music playing in his ears from his earbuds plugged into his phone shoved I his front pocket, as he he slipped on his jacket, a a dark purple nearing black in the low light of his Uncle's apartment.

Just another night as the prowler, and another night of getting his Mami the supplies she needed for the hospital she worked at.

so underfunded sometimes patients who needed their medicine who didn't get it in time, didn't make it.

~but I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it, me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of, you better watch how ya talkin' and where ya walkin'~

Music was one of the ways Miles pumped himself up as he got ready to go out there with hi mask on, on the streets that he remembered used to be so beautiful before the corruption sunk its claws into his city and with it his Dad.

~or you and your homies might be lined in chalk, I really hate to trip but I gotta loc, as they croak, I see myself in pistol smoke, fool, I'm the kind of G that little homies wanna be like, on my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the steertlights~

Miles clenched his jaw and shook his head, rolling his shoulders.

'Naw ain't got time to think like that, get your in the game Miles' he thought to himself as he finished suiting up, he took one look at himself in the reflection of the windows in his Uncle's living room and stood a little straighter.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've keep spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

'I'm gonna make you proud Dad, swear it' Miles thought as he took his earbuds out and unplugged them from his phone the music of 'Gangsta's paradise by Coolio, L.V' spilling from his phone as his mask smoothly slid over his face.Lookingng back at Miles was the prowler in his reflection.

"Ay Neph time to ,go," Uncle Aaron called out from the door, and Miles nodded.

"On my way, Unc," Miles said to Aaron, his voice distorted by the voice changer in his mask as he made his way to the door.

Long since having paused his music as he put his gloves on with a Sharp click.

~look at the situation they got me facin', I can't live a normal life, i was raised by the stripes, so I gotta be down with the hood team, too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams, I'm an educated fool with money on my mind, got a ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye~

Miles followed Aaron to the rooftop of the apartment, building his clawed hands clenching and unclenching as he walked.

"You remember the plan?" Aaron said, walking in front of miles looking through his phone at the time, before he tucked his phone back in his pocket

"Mm, I remember get the shit be in be out," Miles muttered to his uncle as they made it to the rooftop, and he looked over the buildings around them.

Some had fires going on top of them, others didn't, but you could see the gleam of neon lights of tall skyscraper buildings in the distance and people moving around under the glow of lights shining though there apartment windows.

~I'm a loc'd out gangsta, set trippin' banger, and my homies is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool, death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away~

"Got yo earpiece?" Aaron asked Miles before he got ready to leave, handing Miles a black backpack.

"Yeah, it's in," Miles replied as he shrugged on the bag, Aaron handed him.

"Eyes sharp," Aaron said to Miles, nodding at him, standing back and tapping his earpiece in his own ear to turn it on.

"Mind steady," Miles said back with a nod before he was off using his grappling hook in hand to swing odd through the city under cover of the night towards the docs where a new shipment of medical supplies were waiting.

~I'm livin' my life do-or-die, uh, what can I say, I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24?, with way things is goin', I don't know, tell me why are we so blind to see, the ones we hurt are you and me~

Miles weaved in and out of alleyways High above on the air, flipping through the air and rolling along the side of buildings to build momentum as he headed for the docs using his titanium claws to grip onto the ledges of buildings to throw himself forward.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

//////////

(Y/N's POV)

Seeing the store up ahead, I signed in relief.

"Thank fuck man" I grumbled under my breath as I pushed the door open and walked inside taking the list out of my pocket pocket I picked up a basket nearby from the door.

And started on my walk around the store for the items on the list my Auntie gave me.

"Dried chilli's, tortilla's, milk, bread and a juice" I mumbled under my breath reading over the list with a nod to myself as I repeated over and over in my head what was needed as I shoved the list in my pocket.

I walked around the store, throwing what was needed into the basket, and then, lastly, the juice.

I grunted softly, feeling how heavy the basket was now. The juice was in it.

"Damn," I muttered under my breath, gripping the handles of the basket just a little tighter as I walked towards checkout.

I paused, looking down at a shelf with some lollies on it- sorry, correction candies, my bad, I forgot I was in America.

I snorted softly to myself, amused as I picked up an interesting looking candies I'd never seen before or tired.

"Milk duds? Looks interesting, " I muttered to myself, and with a shurg, I dropped the box in the basket, a little treat for myself when I was walking home.

Making it to checkout, I set my basket on the counter.

"Hi, just these, please," I said politely to the casher, who looked like she'd rather be anywhere but here right now.

I shoved my hands in my hoodie pocket, standing there a little awkwardly as she checked them out for me.

'Mood, I feel you, my G', I thought to myself, glancing up at the girl at the counter, checking out my items for me.

She was actually really pretty, dark skinned with cornrows, and really pretty blue eyes that contrasted beautifully with her skin.

"That'll be $36.50, cash or card?" The girl spoke up a little drly, sounding tired, which is fair, so I didn't hold it against her.

"Cash, thank you," I said to her with a small smile as I counted out two $20's from the cash my Auntie gave to me and handed it to her.

"You wanna a bag?" She asked me as she counted out my change, which came to $3.50 as she handed it to me, and I took it, putting the change in my pocket.

"Yes, please," I said to her as she bagged up my items and handed me the bag.

"Thank you, have a good night," I said to her before I left, more in habit really from growing up in New Zealand, anytime.

"Mm," the girl muttered as she went back to playing on her phone, what she had been doing before I got to check out.

And I once more started on my walk home, glancing up at the sky every once in awhile hoping to see stars but only really managing to see planes or helicopters flying around

I frowned in disappointment before shrugging it off with a sigh.

With the bag of stuff in my left hand, I reached into my pocket with my right hand for my phone and used my fingerprint ID to open it.

I scrolled through my playlists, looking for a song to listen to as I walked, something I was in the mood for.

I scrolled for a bit as I walked every once in awhile looking up to make sure I didn't walk into anything, as I kept scrolling not finding a song I was interested in as I switched between another playlist had.

And when I thought I found a song, I heard the rustling of clothes, pained grunts, and low voices speaking coming up ahead from an alleyway.

I kept walking curiosity peeked, even in my tired state. i couldn't help but be nosey.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket, coming to a stop next to the alleyway, and I turned my head to look down it.

And there was a man being pinned to a wall, an arm against his throat making it hard to breathe for the overweight white man, a hand pinned to the wall by metal claws gleaming in the faint moonlight.

And the one holding the overweight man, he was interesting, to say the least.

Purple and black dominating his outfit, from the shoes to the accessories on his clothes, a mask over his face, like pixels on an old ass box TV, the kind before flat screen TVs, but not really as pixilated as yours think.

And two braids running down the back of his head that looked familiar stopping just past his shoulders.

They both seemed to pause after hearing my foot steps and turned to look at me.

But me being tired, overly exhausted, blinked at them lazily and confused, my brows frowned.

"Fuck I need to sleep more I'm starting to hallucinate again" I grumbled to myself my voice echoing a little down the alleyway as I started walking away rubbing at my eyes unimpressed at myself.

Just chalking what I saw up to my imagination fucking with me for not sleeping properly, honestly wouldn't be the first time, always had a shitty sleeping schedule.

Very few times I'd get the maximum eight hours of sleep, I'd either go to bed between 11pm to about 5am, cause I'm that stupid to stay up that late, only to be pissed off and tired the next day.

I shrugged and let my hand drop from my eyes.

I walked slightly hunched and legs feeling heavy, it felt like my legs were gonna give out on me, but well mama didn't raise no bitch, so we keep on going.

I didn't realise when I started daydreaming, or maybe i was dissociating again?, who knows.

But by the time I snapped out of it, I was home, standing in front of my apartment door, before I ever realized where I was.

"Mm," I mumbled to myself, paying it no mind as I opened the door and stepped inside, kicking off my jandels by the side of the door.

"I'm back," I called out as I walked into the kitchen and dropped the bag on the kitchen counter, digging through it for my milk duds I got.

Once I had the box in hand, I shoved it into my pocket and wondered off to my room.

"Any trouble well you were out, bub!" Lily called out from the living room.

"Nah, it was algoods, Auntie!" I called back out to her as I crawled into bed, flinching just a little when I felt something sharp poke my stomach.

Reaching into my hoodie pocket, I dumped out everything that was in it, from my phone, the change and extra cash I was given, my milk duds, and finally, the knife I forgot I had.

"Forgot about that," I mused to myself as I dumped the change and knife on my bedside table, picked up the box of chocolate covered lollies, and opened the box.I dumpedng a few in my hand before popping them on my mouth and chewing.

I scrunched my nose up at the taste. It wasn't the best candy I'd ever had or lollie for that matter, tasted too well fake to me, far too artificial then anything I'd ever tasted before.

So I dropped the box of sweets on my nightstand and picked up my water bottle. I always left on my bedside table and took a swing to wash out my mouth with a small grimace.

"Well that was disappointing" I muttered to myself setting my water bottle back down, as I picked up my phone and slid down more in my bed to get comfortable as I pulled the blankets up to my neck.

Turning it on, I went onto Tiktok and used the automatic scrolling feature, as well as plugged my phone in as I propped my phone up against the wall.

Watching the random videos that played as my eyes grew heavy.

Before sleep finally claimed me, and I was out like a light.

(MILES POV)

Miles had just gotten home after taking a bit of a detour after dropping off the supplies at his Mami's hospital.

He grunted as he kicked off his shoes, and dropped his jacket on the floor, taking off the black collar around his neck that held his mask and dropped it into a box he kept all his dad's all accessories and his own.

He stripped off the layers of his Prowler suit and replaced it with his own tank top and some sweats before putting on his purple durag that had little gold crowns on it over his braids.

He then picked up the pieces of his suit and dropped them into a box he took aw, y hidden in his closet.

He then dropped onto his bed with a si. Onene had taken behind his head as he picked up his phone to check for any messages from his mami.

He tapped on his Mami's contact after seeing an unread message from her.

'Gonna be working late again tonight, leftovers are in the microwave, Te amo duerme dormido ❤️'

Miles signed softly, another night shift. Made him glad he cleaned the house before heading over to his uncle's.

He pulled his hand out from behind his hand and started to type a message.

'Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro ❤️'

He hit send, plugged his phone in, and shifted to pull his blankets over himself as he rolled over to go to sleep.

'That girl again, huh shame I still ain't know her name,' Miles thought to himself amused.

Remembering how those sleepy tired eyes had looked at him tonight, or should he say the prowler.

How she had looked at the prowler had convinced herself what she'd seen was nothing but hallucinations cause she was so tired.

He was sure he'd see her again, and he knew just like the first time, and the second it'll just be as interesting as the first.

Then maybe, just maybe next time he'd know where she was from, know what that accent she had was.

Until then, he'd sleep. He had school tomorrow after all.

So he shut his eyes, got comfortable, and let himself relax enough to maybe, this time, sleep a full night.

And if not, well, he'd deal with it in the morning.

{{♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡}}

Hi! Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I'm gonna try and write at least two before I post another and work on a schedule to be able to post them.

I try and work on them when I'm not busy at home, and when I'm not busy at work, I'll let you guys know now. Until then, happy reading.

Translation:

Ka taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki. = can you go to the shop for me, and get a few things, i have a list and some money to get them.

ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake = it's nine at night and you want me to go to the store by myself

Te amo duerme dormido = I love you, sleep tight.

Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro = I love you Mommy, don't work too hard.

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

Hiya! If your still doing requests Could you do Murdoc x Fem girly reader headcannons

Reader is the complete opposite of Murdoc she is sweet to everyone, wears dresses likes pastel colours stuff like that. If that’s okay with you <3

Murdoc x Very fem pastel F! S/O

WRITERS NOTE: Hi! I honestly really like this request, I personally find any pastel style to be realy cool! But I do apologize I'm not good at gendered things- but I will try my very best! I hope you like the hc and that you have a wonderful day!

[ANOTHER NOTE: This is late again, life threw a wrench in my posting schedule again. Anyways have a lovely day, sorry for the delay!]

Edited: Nope

All art in this post is mine

TW: Curssing, Murdoc drinking, Murdocs childhood, Murdoc being a grouch, implied abuse?, spoilers for cracker Island, jealousy, insecurity, probably more but can't figure it right now- so just tell me any out standing ones I missed.

(Side thing: Murdocs shity behavior is not ok, it's toxic, I am not trying to indorse the shit he does!)

Characters:

/Gorillaz/

Murdoc(yay better murdoc drawing)

How???

Sorry HuH???

Just how???

You are the embodiment of a kind person... and Murdocs..... a satanic piece of shit gremlin with anger issues

So to say everyone- including Murdoc himself was quite surprised

The band won't let him live down the fact you two are so different

They tease him a lot, but other then that that band absolutely adores S/O

2D has straight up asked you why would you 'date 'an asshole like Murdoc', it was very blut though there was no ill will behind it

Murdoc will Call you the normal nick names such a 'dove, babe, love, ect..' but he will most likly call you a bit more sweet things- in private obviously, but this often happens if he's ih a more sensitive state-

Whether that be when he's drunk, high, hung over, ect... he'll just tend to be a bit loving- his voice is almost tender

And he'll use pet names like 'babydoll, sugar, cutie, my star, sweetie, the occasional babycake's', but Murdoc could use those in a very teasing way too if S/O is the kind of person who tends to get flustered

"*hic* ya'know, I'ma start... *hic* call'en ya cavity..." Murdoc said sluring his words

"What, why?"

"*drunken giggle* Cuz' yer so cute *hic* dat'cha rot my teeth... heh.."

S/O looks so different when standing next to Murdoc that some people find it concerning

When out in public with each other at night(ie. Murdoc draged you to a bar with him), there has been at least one case of someone coming up to you in concern for S/O's wellbeing, thinking Murdoc was some creep following S/O, or the every so often waitress or waitor asking if you are ok, when you and Mudz are out on a date

Murdoc gets really pissed when this happens, so S/O will have to call him down

With pastel and bright clothes you gonna want to not leave them around Murdocs room/Winnebago because that shit will be stained to high hell(even if you need a black light to see the stains), and those stains will never come out, so be reaaally careful

He doesn't really understand why you like pastel & bright clothes or makeup- but he definitely thinks you look good in it so he won't complain- as long as you don't try and put any of that on him(at least in public)-

Listen hun, Murdoc has a reputation to uphold!- Murdoc would often repeat variants of that

"SSSZZ-SSTOOWWWPPHhhu- *hmph* I have a reputation- and YOU-" Murdocs points an accusatory finger at S/O "-Fuck'in... leav'en damn stupid... neon fuk'en PINK lipstick marks.. on MY damn FACE... BEFORE A DAMN SHOW..isn't help'in..."

"Why'dya got'a go'in be so damn cute... yer stupid 'KinDNeSs' making me look... ugh nice..."

S/O when their in the later phases and later in the relationship- S/O definitely made Murdoc more nice but only really around S/O- don't get me wrong when S/O's gone Mudz still a complete ass

But he tends to be more chilled out, Murdy once he got close to S/O, he really wanted her to like him- but this isn't uncommon with Murdoc getting scared his shitty behavior is gonna scare a person he genuinely cares about away

He's in complete denial about going any for of soft, and he just ends up acting like a piss baby-

"Wha'dya mean I'm go'in soft!?!" Murdoc said pulling away from S/O

"Babe. You're wearing the *insert random pastel themed character* shirt I got you..."

"...I-...I had nut'en else to wear.." Murdoc tutned away with a huff

"You walk around shirtless and in your underwear all the time- what changed?"

"...ShutUp-!..."

Or

"..Damn face ache..." Mudz slammed the door with a a groan, clearly agitated

"You ok dear?"

Murdoc turned to you and pouted like a bitter old man "Face Ache said I was going soft!!! Can ya believe that fuck'en nob!"

He's overall very bitter and sour about going soft, so don't tease him to much unless you want his grumpy-ness to turn into full blown anger

Murdoc like to send S/O pictures of things that remind him of her/her style

This is most often pictures of clothes, but it can maybe be a pic of a stuffy or somthing, these items are often pointed out by Noodle or even 2D

But when 2D talks about/points out things that remained him of S/O Mudz will most likely get jealous... and I think we can geuss how it usually goes from there..

Speaking of jealousy

Due to how nice and kind of a person S/O is to everyone, and how insecure Murdoc can be- he can get jealous pretty easy depending on the situation

And no it's not a 'ohh ahh, he's protective and loving' jealousy- no he's an insecure angry goblin man- only getting petty and aggressive, just sit him down and have a talk, he just needs some reassurance

To add to S/O dressing up Murdy. Murdoc refuses to match outfits, he refuses to let you do his makeup... or take pictures of it to show it to people at least..

Like my last statement implies Murdoc has let her do his makeup before, S/O just can't take pictures to show it around to people- tho this doesn't mean you can't take pictures at all

Because you can and you do, S/O has so many pictures of Murdoc in a skirt, or a full face of makeup, etc... and there all adorable even if Murdoc is pissed in all of them

Murdoc refuses to match your style or do any of the dressing up thing in public, or let any of it go out into public. He is stubborn and this is a big boundary for him, so please respect this.

This doesn't just apply to appearances, but just his stuff in general, so no cute neon stickers on things, or cutesy decorations without his permission. Murdoc stands firm on his decision so don't push to much he will get really agitated, and it might lead to a fight- like I said his stubbornness is off the chart.

Murdoc teases S/O quite a bit especially at the beginning of the relationship, and especially if its in earlier phases-

It's how he copes with nice people, Murdy isn't use to people being nice

Murdoc grew up with assholes, he was raised to be an asshole, and he was raised in a way to basically see kindness to be a form of weakness.

So him being shown kindness from this goddess, in response he freaks out a bit and just get really teasy out of defense at first

And knowing him, he might say some upseting things. So S/O has to walk very carefully around early phase Mudz or just a bit early in the relationship

Murdocs sweetheart of a girlfriend is gonna have to break down some walls, and honestly this applys to all and any relationship with Mudz- theres always a few walls to get through

But with any initial kindness there will be some extra defense put up by Murdoc

(I wanna talk about phaze 7 Mudz specifically for a second, so like spoiler warning I guess? )

Murdoc is firm on the fact what he is wearing isn't a dress- we all know what I'm referring to!

That thing he wears in the Cracker Island music video.

He referres to it by whatever it's actually name is(again I don't know, I'll edit it when I figure it out) or he calls them PJ's. He has referred to it dress like but never a girly dress like somthing S/O would wear- and he gets pissy if anyone goes around calling it that. Though in the passed Murdoc has probably worn a dress before.

(Ok weird tangent over, back to just general Murdoc)

Despite hating it when S/O does his makeup or dressing him up- Murdoc does love picking her clothes out and has more then once done S/O's makeup- and he isn't the greatest at first but he does eventually learn how to apply eyeliner without impaling your eyes

Murdoc while is proud of his work- will not stop laughing at how she looks after he's done S/O's makeup

Murdoc 100% underestimates S/O, he thinks S/O is one of the most pure things ever and he wants to mess that up ;)

JK- I'm just joking... particularly...

Anyway!-

He just kinda sees S/O as a bit of a childish innocent person who's oblivious to the world- like how else could you be so happy?

If S/O really is that innocent than good luck, becuase that sure as hell isn't gonna 100% last if she wants to stay with this Satanist

But if you arn't as innocent well then it's quite a pleasant surprise to Murdoc

It's up to you to determine how you want Murdoc to figure out S/O's lack of innocence but here are some examples

1. Murdoc used a horribly raunchy and crapy pickup line on S/O and she retorted back with her own, this left Murdoc flustered and stunned before he played it off pretty well. Mudz jokes about this later on because he finds this situation funny

2. Murdoc whilst pissed said some unsavory things, and S/O responds in a way that shows she understood what he just said, and Murdoc depending on how bad what he said was would either laugh it off or he would immediately choke on his own spit, then awkwardly defend himself

3. Very similar 1 but Murdoc made a dirty or just inappropriate joke and S/O expressed they understood and Murdoc would just burst out laughing

Just a few ideas- but it's up to you

But once Murdy finds out, him being the dirty little man he is- he's gonna tease you about it. Mudz sometimes mockingly treats you like a kid- with all good intentions of course

Either way innocent or not S/O is just as appealing- just in different ways

"Dove... your cuteness juz made me throw up'en my mouth.."

[odetodilfs]

Meant to be (Part 3)

Hey so uh after taking a break I've come back with this!! This part has smut so be careful.

Pairings: Jim Hopper x male reader Warnings for this chapter: Scent kink, sex pollen, lots and lots of sexual frustration and tension and Hopper's chest hair deserves its own warning here hehe Oh and Murray and Joyce are shown in this chapter

By now it had been 5 months since you’d started dating, for the first 3 months or so everything went to smoothly, but you both began to get increasingly horny for one another with both being way too hesitant to initiate anything with the other, now it was summer, and Hopper had gotten a mustache and a flower shirt that was making you want to rip it off and fuck him, but you couldn’t for some reason…

The sexual frustration was really getting to you both, ending in bickering, nothing toxic or abusive, just bickering out of frustration, your patience growing lower, you still loved each other a lot, you were just afraid to initiate something and scared of rejection. It was now summer, and Jim’s closest friends, Joyce and Murray had found out about you two and were finally happy their friend had someone to actually love, and now that it was warm enough you invited them to walk with you in the forest now that Murray had visited town for the summer, it was alright and you walked for 2 hours, but you could tell Joyce and Murray were getting sick of you and Hopper’s bickering all the damn time, “oh my god Jim, you did not just fucking lose the keys!” you said , angrily, he laughed as he took them out “I’m just playing with ya” he said, “Ugh!” you grumble loudly, “Okay okay, come on and stop fighting for at least 5 minutes,” Joyce interrupted, “Fine” you and Hopper said, “Now Jim, hug your boyfriend” she said, Jim obeyed, there was no not following Joyce’s orders. A sharp smell of musk and sweat entered your nostrils as he hugged you, 

 “Jim, you stink!” you said, pulling away slightly, “Okay you two, fucking enough!” Murray screamed, “It’s pretty clear you both need to work some shit out, so you can go fuck each other’s brains out and get this over with!!” he shouted, you, Hopper and Joyce staring at his boldness, “I don’t care who puts it in who, just get it over with, I don’t wanna hear your fucking sexual tension for 2 hours” he snapped, “Get in the car Joyce, let’s leave them to sort their shit out” and so they did.

The ride home was silent and awkward, neither you or Jim would say anything, you sat down in the living room at his cabin, “Alright, despite Murray’s… rather straightforward words, he was right, we really need to do something…” “You wanna do something?” he asked, “Yes, for months now, I was too scared to initiate,” you confessed, “Me too sweetheart, don’t worry, and you’re gonna get what you wanted,” he said as he pulled you to the closest wall and kissed you as you were against it, kissing down your neck, both of you sweating from the walk and suddenly Hopper’s smell was no longer an issue but rather a turn on.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long” you moaned, “Me too baby, me too” he says, grabbing you and taking you to the bed, he immediately starts licking your ass, “Jim… this is important…” you say, “What is it baby?” “Are you positive or negative?” you asked

 “Negative, took a test last month” he said, going back to rimming your ass, “pass me that lube,” he said, you grabbed the lube and he started fingering you, holy shit did his fingers feel good against your prostate, “Fuck! Fuck!” you moaned as he pumped them in and out of your hole. Your dick hard as rock.

“Jim… need… your cock” you moaned as he fingered you, “I know baby, just let me do this for a while,” you weren’t about to be a patient guy, you’d held back for 5 months and here you were, covered in sweat with his dick 5 inches from entering your ass, you needed his fucking dick, he fingered you for 5 minutes, “Fuck, you clench so tight baby…” he said, “What? Gonna cum already?” he asked teasingly as you squirmed from pleasure, “Jim… give me your cock please…” you said, “Fucking christ,” he said, “The way you don’t just want it you fucking need it, and you’re about to get my fucking dick baby, trust me” he said, as he lubed up his dick and lined it up to your ass.

He entered you delicately but desperately, Hopper’s brain had disconnected from everything but you, holding back for 5 months for such a horny guy like him was living hell. He was drenched in sweat, the hair on his chest wet, his mustache still sticking out, his scent being so manly, goddamn, you wanted this man to fuck you. You grinded your dick against his bulging belly and you savored the sensation of humping his stomach. He started thrusting into you relentlessly, he was completely overpowering you, you licked at his chest, shoulders, biceps, taking in his smell, “And to think you were saying I stank, now you’re here fucking licking me while I fuck you” he teased, he started going harder and all you could do was moan, this was so, so fucking good. The pleasure rippled through you as he kept fucking you, your ass making squelching sounds as your precum smeared on his belly. Your face rubbing against the coarse wet hairs on his chest.

You repeated his name with every thrust inside you, your orgasm was so damn close, he started trailing kisses on your jaw as he finally got to your lips and started mashing his tongue against yours, your spit mixing, his mustache brushing against your skin, it was all fucking amazing and just when it couldn’t be better Hopper put his hand around your cock and started jerking it off, “Cum for me baby…” he said, “Jim, Jim, JIM!” you said as you came all over him pure pleasure coursed through you as your orgasm rippled through you, you clenched your ass down on Hopper’s cock, “Hmm, so tight, gonna- breed this ass-” he managed to moan as he kept fucking into you, beads of sweat from his forehead now already on your torso, “Oh god, baby, fuck yes!” he said as he moaned loudly, almost screaming as he unleashed his held back load inside you. He finished and cum was running down your ass and it was all over his pubes as he started fucking his own cum out of you, he pulled out and stared at you, amazed at how pretty you looked when he had bred you.

You smiled at each other and he lightly spanked you playfully, you laughed, “Jim… we gotta shower” “We?” he asked, smiling “No, me and the dog, of course it’s you baby” you hugged him, “I’m so tired, in a few hours?” “Fine,” you said as you drifted off to sleep on his chest, Hopper knew then that you really did love him, with his one night stands, he just held their hand as they slept, now, he was full on hugging you to him, and he’d never let go.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Hai.

How do you measure your top and bottoms? I will likely greatly regret asking.

oh HIIII @diamonddung~<3<3<3!

why yes. yes you will<3 i never did get that answer on fiona's nick valentine % <3 tho you may need to amend billy's % lmao<3<3<3

as a bonafide too queer to function lunatic and multishipper who *hates* catty supremacist false dichotomy fandom bullshit because of all the unnecessary problems it causes (you know me, lmao, bit of another psa in here i guess given multiship tags and yes, i am still upset about the thing with the artist)? ya know i'm a little out there and not quite with the 'in' crowd of the chunk of cis het women who take party~ in the shipping world~<3 no shade, but it does tend to change one's perspective. i do feel there's lots of shipping discourse that may miss the mark/certain character elements in favor of...

well, normally just plain ol' over-sexualization from some horny ass people lfmao, (homie's scene with doppelhomie is a good example, the trauma presented on his face was ignored in favor of the selfcest fantasy, but in antony starr's words, homie wasn't interested, he was traumatized :((() but also unfortunately... echhh i gotta say it!

hetero-normalizing gay ships and then treating the kink presentation like a goddamn religion... the amount of times i have those 'are the straights okay???' moments are just...

LMAO, all in good fun of course<3 let's not kink shame.

it's fine to have different kinks and discourse, disagreements over how you view characters or what you like, even be enthusiastic with your own views and shout them out to the heavens~! it's *NOT* fine to try and police, dehumanize, or discourage others from enjoying what they like just because it's *different* from you and they exist in a *shared* space.

friendly important reminder to *ship and let ship*, *art and let art* however that may be. even if i don't like the way a ship is presented or voice how *i* personally feel about it, i would *never* try to or even have the gall to tell someone *no, you can't do that, my way or the highway*

It does NOT *exclude* you to *include* others. It costs nothing to be *nice* or simply DNI. This is NOT a dichotomy. Fandoms do NOT need additional toxicity and bullying over something so *trivial* as fictional bullshit. EVER.

"i don't like bullies... i don't care where they're from." ;)

anywho~<3 i love top/bottom exploration because i have a very bad BAD~<3 dominance kink, but switching definitely gets the most downplaying/ignoring with a heavy focus on... mmm, i suppose often, more superficial elements half the time and i'll admit some of mine def are~ lmao nose size. and i don't say that to dissuade any writers, young or old. i say it to *encourage* moar deep diving<3<3<3 and even questioning the way you might think/listening to new perspectives~<3!

we all start somewhere and have times of exploration/learning~<3 learning moar and challenging yourself? that's a *good* thing<3<3<3 but sadly, not always valued (it should be!) :(

but apart from canon dynamices/character depth/personality to the best of my ability/understanding? the long answer is ANAL GAPE~<3

among other things, i'm sure that makes no sense whatsoever<3 because some other factors do get thrown in. intelligence because i'm a morosexual and LOVE big dumb tops<3<3<3, practicality super anuses are a death trap to not be played with however super phalli~, and weirdly... nose size. i'm not kidding!

yeah i know some idiot out there told me nose size is apparently related to phallus size and testosterone levels OH WAIT-- but oddly enough...? i think there may be some kinda instinct there LOL, because it seemed to registered in my brain the same way i registered my top/bottoms for the most part, even *before* learning that...

and i *swear*... i'll come back to this shit cause it's hilarious, but even in fanart, you'll see many artists subconsciously/purposefully give the guy they want to 'top' a bigger nose... even if he has a smaller one. ;)))))))))))))))))

BUTT ANAL GAPE! WHAT IS IT!?

not the nasty version ya nasties~<3

it basically boils down to... how big of an ASSHOLE is this asshole... just wide do those booty cheeks spread with the level a disrespect-- how *badly* does he *need* a good railing and prostate MMPH~<3<3<3! or even spanking~<3 how much of a control freak is he? how stubborn~? how far do those bitchy manipulative little devil vibes go~<3<3<3 what does he *want*? really want. figurative dick energy? is he compensating for something? is he in need of, holdin' out for a hero~<3<3<3? how so? how far from the goal of expressing positive masculinity are we and why? just how toxic we talkin~? i'm slippin' under<3

what is the outward presentation being given vs. the one he gives privately/with those he loves? there's a pretty big difference sometimes and it can say a lot. naturally gentle doms like kal-el or steve rogers i see get mislabeled for that old thing, 'mistaking kindness for weakness', so to speak. but as a general rule, they say that in the bedroom~ people actually tend to give the opposite of what they present in their day to day lives/'those with the most control of their lives are secretly the most submissive' or something along those lines, and it makes sense that things would manifest that way when you think about it. (ironically learned about this *after* learning my kinks)

a good example would be billy butcher, who gives the outward presentation of being rough and ragged and 'in control' wannabe logan, but is extremely soft, caring and submissive with those he loves<3 contrast with homelander who has had ZERO control over his own life from day one and *really* likes it rough when he gets the chance and--

boi lemme tell ya hwat--

it's a number of things, lmao, and the calculations in my head are automatic and will not make sense in numbers. so.

i don't think i need to explain much on anal gape when it comes to scott summers, lex luthor, bruce wayne, tony stark, and especially... *especially* billy butcher.

but lets not forget the added morosexual aspect~ which *can* even override anal gape! so let's go over what every one a my tagged ship bottoms might be saying to their big dumb idiot animal tops being DUMB<3<3<3

scott: *glares violently*

lex: *glares in pure bitch trying to hide the horny*

bucky: steve... what the fuck.

tony: *hard eye rolling and harder cuddling*

bruce: . . .

charles: ERIK!?

billy: *as he takes off his clothes* why... are you a brainless cunt?

pay no mind to homie's indignant huffing with a side of horny in response (somebody find me that goddamn meme lmao<3), and brucie might still be processing clark's stupidity lol<3

it's funny tho, cause i have competency kink too~<3 and i love me a good boi team up/learnin' as we go~<3<3<3

practicality? pretty self explanatory... way back when... dc gave us detail on the urinals of the justice league and pretty much confirmed man of steel, woman of kleenex (my favorite<3). i could not make this shit up-- (thanks btw dd for sending me this shit now i HAVE to share it)

so. given that we know superman's piss stream is strong enough to *dent* reinforced titanium steel when *weakened*--.

do i really have to say much about his sphincter? it makes diamonds, it makes fucking diamonds, do not stick anything up there unless you wanna lose it forever.

from a practical sense, i never like making it *easy* for clark~<3 to bone someone lmao, it's just too fun<3<3<3 (blue k is always an option of course) but also... he can vibrate it (along with his fingers and tongue), he has infinite stamina. and he has no refractory period... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

homelander is much the same, maybe with an added *lack* of control and def a bit moar scary leik, might deliberately murder you scary but STILL--

you could not fucking *PAY* me to miss a goddamn chance for superweiner--

not sure i wanna think about what martian manhunter has... but i'd still let him do whatever to me, honestly<3 he'd be the BEST gentle dom i *swear*. like he'd literally check in and politely ask on you instead of reading your mind and check for any discomfort and be SO SWEET and tender and caring, making sure you're okay the whole time and just genuinely give you an experience you're never gonna forget leik<3<3<3 J'ONN~<3! HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3

oops... ignore that--

and as for nose size~<3?

well~<3 OBVIOUSLY i want my bottoms to be getting the best they can<3 i SPOIL the shit out of them! of course we NEED the guy with the bigger dong nose to top, they should be havin' a grand ol' time~!

but back to that artist thing and genuinely, genuinely amazing. it's almost like a guarantee and i don't even know if people are aware of doing it, but it is always so hilarious and adorable to me. *especially* with billy butcher, the star of the anal gape show<3<3<3

"they just can't get my nose right!"

and of course no shade/disrespect to the actor (his nose is so goddamn cute<3<3<3 and i love it<3) or any other actors, or artists, but even *becca* (her nose is also cute and i love it~<3) had a bigger nose than him. seriously. homie's nose is fiiiiine~<3 but also actually bigger and longer. and it's just... ALMOST *guaranteed*. anyone who sees billy as a 'top' while drawing him *automatically* gives him the bigger/longer nose... and it just blows my mind how amazingly consistent that seems to be LOL (apparently like the study done on noses and weiners!)

what does that say about us, i wonder...?? (no seriously, i really wonder<3) adamant denial~<3 maybe? ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

billy boo does have the biggest eyes tho~<3<3<3

and apparently, did look it up... but it works inversely with bmi?? which... 100000% explains willem dafoe<3<3<3

it ALSO pretty much... confirms show homelander as their very own willem dafoe/norman osborn... and i never thought i'd have it THIS down bad for osborn but i can't with the things that does to me-- I'VE BEEN CONVERTED!! like the boi *already* is confimed *HUGE* canonically. *by BILLY* in the comic!

but by the gods--

down to the lovely eyes, scary smile, and psychosis. so it is that history repeats... hello mad daddy~<3

god i need to watch dafoe's spooderman again<3

I guess billy boo is now confirmed to be actually *compensating* for SOOOOOO much--

welp. i guess this explains why billy called himself an 'alpha male' unironically which i will never let him live down~<3 he already has the biggest gape i have EVER seen on a character. EVER. like. this boi. has enough gape to fit a goddamn planet up his ass. let's be generous and say that show boi billy is just at moon level. but it is still just. HUGE. which i guess makes homie just the perfect match for him given the willem dafoe vibes--

and honestly... it's beautiful<3

and the best part about billy is just how *self aware* he is of this. he postures to high hell and plays the part his dad would want him to, but he knows it's a goddamn problem, *addiction*, *hates* it, and spends his life looking for *solutions* and *self punishment*...

that's homie baby~<3

billy considered becca his *cure* (if the clear cut submissive role he took with her wasn't enough<3<3<3 SO CUTE<3<3<3) but *homelander* is the *replacement*. his *last resort*. cut my life into pieces--NOOOOO--

goddammit billy boo, i *really* do feel for you, i do... but lemme translate what billy butcher is *actually* saying in both the show and comic in going after homelander. cause lemme tell ya it ain't just revenge...

*destroy me, eviscerate me. because i am afraid of what i will do if you can't stop me. and because you took away the one who could save me, you owe me this and i will take it if need be.*

because there's *one* thing that billy fears, and he's had the ability to say it, even feel it... beaten out of him. but he almost always fully goes into battle *not* intending to come out of it. he *wants* to die and he hates himself a whole lot... and he knows. it's the thing his father gave him, the sickness he passed on that billy never wanted but can't control. but this would also be why he gives no fucks about 'collateral'.

even if by force or violence, billy wants to fail, he wants to be held down, he *wants* to lose, he wants to get knocked back down until he can't get back up anymore. he sure as hell isn't gonna make it easy for anyone, that's not in his nature, but he knows what happens if he can keep going.

billy knows he's a monster, but he is preconditioned to never control it. he sees the kindred monster in homelander, preconditioned to be *under control* but slipping through and vying to get loose... but homelander, despite everything *still* has control... billy wants to see it break, he *needs* it.

ugh~<3<3<3 yes, i know i am redundant with this shit<3 but it's just SO poetic<3<3<3 i CANNOT--

even season 3 evidenced their dynamic and dug in perfectly. scorched urf? the candle's fuckin' lit. herogasm? 3 on 1. ONLY A BRUISE--. billy, bloody smile~ comes back for more? billy gets his ass kicked by the dad on his own and only *maeve* gets anything done to homelander... who doesn't want to kill her, so he holds back even if she won't.

"i respect what you are even if you don't--."

got. damn...

but homie? he's the last lifeline, and he's tied to *both* sides of billy. and a people pleaser<3<3<3! who's also too dumb to get what's going on with billy, not that he'd care if he did... who's at the same time caught and curious by billy's obsession and the mirror between them<3

homie wants and knows how to please people... not just because he's been trained for it or a clear cut service top with dark~<3 elements<3<3<3 or because he wants the feeling he gets from their approval/admiration. very typical of a narcissist lmao, but also because of the added vulnerability that he is easily manipulated/exploited by the women in his life, not realizing he's a victim or being groomed/manipulated.

even the uh... *moment* he had with stillwell, she exploits his trauma and desire for a mother so directly that he just totally loses it and profusely appologizes. he's aware of how to *please* someone if ya get me~<3 ;))))))) (by the apology given at all) but he's *not* aware that she is abusing/exploiting his trauma in this way *because he lacks empathy for himself/has never genuinely had it given without some sort of exploitive exchange*, sort of opposite of billy in this sense too. poor dumb baby~<3!

what's really extra hilarious and ironic is that stormfront is pretty much what a lady billy would be but nowhere near as good as manipulating as him

but all homelander has ever known is the *examples* set before him by vought. and it's... quite obviously not a good one... :(((((((((((((((((( but he's *not* aware. billy is much the same, but he *is* aware. hence the deep buried cravings to be *free* vs. fucking approval ratings in homie, and *controlled* vs. lack of self control in billy... goddammit the fucking POETRY<3<3<3

so? it's just more of the same old same old. and homie loves, LOVES not having to hold back once he gets a taste for it... with *stormfront* no less... but *also* from billy in a different sense and now... beyond. still ADORE how he went flaccid on the nazi rhetoric lmao even this boi has his limits<3--

"let's light this candle--"

it's already fucking lit--

... you know full well how excited i get, lmao<3 and ya DID ask<3<3<3 XD

everyone else (to homelander): don't be what they made you... please for the love of fucking gawd, PLEASE--

billy: be what they fucking made you motherfucker, i wanna fuck FIGHT and see everything destroyed. i'll wait.

stormfront: be what we fucking made you, i wanna fuck and see everything not us destroyed. i won't wait.

but the short answer? i go by % of willem dafoe energy, the *CORRECT* answer is WILLEM DAFOE<3<3<3 (not to be confused with norman osborn... unless willem dafoe<3) DUH~!

WOOO-- goddamn... and i ain't even done yet. i spend WAY too much time obsessing over these fuckers, i SWEAR.

and ALSO the ladies~<3 are tops. all of them. ALL OF THEM. NO EXCEPTIONS-- lmao, KIDDING... maybe<3 (i might do another one going over mah lady~<3 ships<3<3<3 cause this got long... and i did get carried away with butchy and homie... of course i did. but you know how i love them<3<3<3)

[zeltqz]

NO! DONT YOU BLAME YOURSELF!!! Let's all get all these mf men and deep fry them. Fr I'm tired of them, it's about time we raise the bar, THE BAR IS IN HELL AT THIS POINT!! Really enough blaming ourselves for their incapacity, if they are shit, then we have to let them know. I am aware most men will get violent if their precious masculinity gets hurt, but in cases when we are safe, we have to let them know. He didn't make you cum? You tell him? It didn't feel good? You tell him. He didn't find the clit and dry rubbed your left labia? You tell him!!!!! I'm tired or porn only being focused on dick dick dick, the man sticks it in you and boom pleasure. It doesn't work like that and they have no excuse for being ignorant and selfish . Ughhhhh!! Aftercare is so important!!! Why aren't they doing it whyyy. And if I hear one more pissy men saying that aftercare goes both ways then imma move his jaw 180°. Most of the times the guy just pushes you away if you try something or straight up tells you to get dressed wtf.

That goes for everything not just sex . The bar is in hell. No more preaching men for doing the bare fucking minimum, no more blaming ourself for not being " good enough" . He makes you cum? As he should. He does aftercare? As he should? He cleans and cooks? As he should? He brings yoh flowers? As he should? He is a decent human being? As he should!!!!

Ughh I swear these men make me want to rip my hair out.

Anyway I'm sorry your first time was bad bby! I hope you can find someone that deserves you and never never blame yourself again! It was his fault for being an ass and ignorant period.

Lova ya <3

NO REALLY IM SO SICK OF MEN LIKE1"?£!?"£ I DONT EVEN WANNA DATE ONE unless his name is haitani ran then no thanks i dont want you

but on a serious note men are so toxic nowadays like its fuckign SCARY and looking back at my younger self im disappointed because now i have a mouth on me and if i was in that situation back then i would tell him that i wasnt satisfied

but back then i didnt i was so introverted, still am but less introverted, so i didnt know how to communicate with him like that

PLUS i barely even knew him like i honestly forgot how i even met the dude i think it was at a party or a get together between mutual friends i cant remember

and the bar? omg the other day i saw a tiktok right of this girl saying how shocked she was when her boyfriend backed off her when she said she didnt want to have sex

and the girls in the comments were like "WHAT A KING"

LIKE WHAT"?£" THATS THE BARE FUCKIGN MINUUMMSDFHSDJ LIKE?!"? WHY R U PRAISING HIM FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD BE NORMAL? it just goes to show how men are just fucking things up for themselves that even the barest of the barest minimum is seen as rare

AND I LOVE U TOO ANON <333333

[taintthesaint]

Long rant that probably will reach very few, but it's really important to me...please hug your friends. Tell them you love them, guys. You really never know when they're gonna leave this world. That ain't even the reason you ought to though. They need to fucking know.

Look, folks this applies to everyone, but I'm gonna give you a male perspective...we don't hear those words often, most of us. Not to be a misandronist, but perhaps many of us don't much deserve it, but that really ain't the lot of us in my opinion. Most of us are innocuous and would beat a predator to death with our bare hands given the opportunity, BUT: I really belive this is the biggest key to unraveling the toxic masculinity pandemic that we have as a species. Most of you probably aware that we (men) have built a culture for ourselves that is largely prohibitive of emotional expression. Men prop it up today and so do women to a lesser extent. But it's gotta start with the men folk. We gotta learn how to be tender (platonically) with one another, fellas.

And ya know what? Lemme flip this toxic perspective on it's ass and be real with you boys. If you are incapable of hugging your homies and telling em you love em, that's a brand of weakness you ought to actually be ashamed of. That's really something we need to work on.

Either way, whatever the gender this reaches, it applies to you as well. We gotta let our people know they're loved. We all wanna be loved. It starts with you, not them. Be the one in your friend group to normalize it. Watch how it blossoms. Everyone (you too) loves that shit. Just fuckin say it. Just fuckin hug your friends. This shit is so important.

[kse22chili]

I thought I was going to forget about him, but somehow he always comes to my mind. Specifically today. I’ve thought of him, so many times, that I’m really close to jumping out of the window.

Weirdly, we had a favourite song in common. Guess what song? “i was all over her” by salvia palth.

Ridiculous innit? Very much so.

Listen, he was a tremendously basic guy who loved fucking around and doing drugs. I’ve got nothing against it, but like when you do smth don’t brag about it. On god y’all, when he’d start bragging about the spliffs or blunts he’d do every hour, I would fall in a mental crisis. Bro was an attention seeker. And did I give him attention?

Nope.

Now, let’s leave all the poetic stuff. I’m already pissed the freak off. Guys think that girls are attracted to them doing drugs or smoking stuff or drinking bs or i don’t even know man, doing stupid shit. When in reality motherfucker, I personally think you all are toxic as fuck.

Listen, if I do blunts, I do them and I don’t say shit to anyone. Cause I’m doing it bc I want to do it. Like, first of all, I’m doing them in secret. How the fuck does it even come to mind to tell somebody else what you just did? Do you get me? As in, bruv you do drugs? Perfect, cool, good for ya. Whaddaya want me to say to ya? “Oh darling you’re so amazing! You’re giving a great example to all your friends, and you’re being really healthy to me. Truly spectacular! Your talent of doing drugs will help you achieve your goals in life! Go on like this!” or do ya want me to say “Oh daddy! You are so hot! Please give me the blunt so I can take a hit too while you’re pounding me in the ass!!!!”

Like ew. Ew man. Ew boy.

I just hate how we are totally focusing our attention to unnecessary stuff instead of fighting for what is really worth fighting for. There are important things to focus on. Like where we live in, the people we live with, what we do etc. Why can’t we focus on improving our body language and our behaviour towards other people? For example, trying to stop the trend of embracing overrated “emotions” like anxiety, for starters.

The four main emotions are “mad, glad, sad and scary”. All the other “emotions” are a mix of two of these main emotions.

What does that mean? It SHOWS us that we need to focus more on these four emotions. Because, how are we going to improve our performance in “feeling better” or “fixing ourselves” without first of all acknowledging these four main emotions?

We all go to the therapist and psychiatrist or psychologist for help. To try and “understand” what’s our problem. What are our problems? Do we have an issue? Oh! My therapist diagnosed me with social anxiety!

Now is it really fair to you to behave this way with your listeners or readers or idk watchers? Because we are all making psychological serious issues or problems into fucking normal ones. As in, people are romanticising problems. Instead of embracing them and finding a solution to it, we jump into ADVERTISING OUR PROBLEMS TO THE WORLD. (bc it’s super fun!!!!!!) (it’s all sarcastic btw)

This is all too funny to me.

We are all fucking puppets. And egoistical fucking monsters. There are real people that have gone through terrible trauma and they aren’t SPONSORING their life and problems bc they seek for attention and fame. There are people that, for this tiny opportunity that all the other egoistical worms have selfishly used, they would have left behind their own lives.

We always say how “life is unfair” or “life is such a bitch” but nah uh baby. You are such a bitch. You are unfair. Because YOU are making this society really unhealthy to the other people. We are destroying our lives. We are destroying our community. We are destroying our world. We are destroying our race. And we our destroying ourselves.

Aren’t we unfair?

Aren’t we such bitches?

This all thing doesn’t mean any harm. It’s all a thought provoking essay. Just a reflecting tiny writing. Creative let’s say.

Danke.

[pinkadork]

Im fine

Its not like ive been setting myself up what feels like forever to both really and also i guess not at all always be in the cycle im in. The predestined fuck up ig my moms a fuck up

Im a fuck up

I cant stay a job apparently

I’m too scared of every if and but when it comes to trying it to be creative and do things like i used too, nowadays i feel like its tainted because im not even finna be doing it because i like it anymore, but instead just proving i didn’t give up, when i did

I was tired, emotionally drained, put in a position i nor anyone really asked for but guess whose grandparents this belonged to

Im not a fucking mistake or a right person wrong time

I am a nigga thats has been struggling and it was before you sure but everyone in the fuck ass house kept trauma bonding new and old covid didnt fucking help.

How the fuck are we fucking but aint no protection or immediate showers available

How am i toxic for not wanting what felt like more like a: fuck my poor ass boy friends and dementia ridden grandparents( and while its not anyones job to guide me if we in a relationship and you feel some way say some shit some how ) the weirdest ( but unfortunately not worst) living situation ive been in, the deepest most confusing, loving yet infuriating, real yet faux ass relationship ive had with anyone.

Like even now I physically am sick to my stomach about the idea or notion of again my ex, someone who has dumped me like at least twice since July and lowkey high key didnt even count it it was like a secret trial i failed because ofc im not sure of you actually love me mr. I tell the world you beat me but sure we can play minecraft

Fucking the part the gets me the most about this is i know you know how i feel and its just

I feel set up

Like genuinely not just the relationship shit

And im not gonna act like i dont play my role in shit and attribute a lot to the shit that get me and others where we are but jfc im tired

I’m not the brightest bulb but im not a fucking dumbass

And i did more than read the room, i saw the patterns, felt the vibe shifts, and tried so fucking hard.

Its sad whatever im pathetic but i think i knew without saying it (and even saying this it doesnt mean all the people out with then bc some are still here and we cool but fucking) My ex was the realest mf i had in my circle, and which is probably why its hard being like man aint no fucking way we went out like that. Im not for the see you in a few years shit, im not for the go fuck around like i aint give my heart, i was (am) a dumb nigga that went to to college before dropping out after missing all my classes so i could be attached virtually at the hip to them

Its not their fault and for years i didnt feel that at all.

But the second i saw that they felt like they wasted so much on me and this that whatever man my blood got to boiling on some seafood type shi

Its like

You can do evil

They can do evil

And be vindicated and justified in ya own right because in ya head this is just karma and you standing up for ya self and

Then its like i do evil snd immediately fold because i aint mean shi

Nigga got slammed by me 2 or three times

And everytime it was some bs

I let you convince i was being an ass for feeling threatened because " weight and height and muscle” but fucking niggas never care about perspectives

Yeah we are arguing

Yeah im loud, which is infuriating because my usual everyday speaking voice whether it because i subconsciously (now very actively) am aware of how loud i can be, is actually very quiet and i tend to have to repeat myself and even did to my ex because yeah

Fuck im so high man

Its been awhile since i ran out of actual medicine

Like i feel like ive said its been like two weeks for like a month now.

Now i gotta go through new everything, finding insurance, therapy, reassessments, medication changes, so much has happened and yet nothing has, i got fired today, i think, i mean i definitely got the text “Your assignment is finished do not return anymore” but this is the first temp agency really that ive been at , its just like

Like that?

Its kinda how sudden i end up either in or out of someones life, ex, family, friends

Sometimes i feel like ive been so many different me’s and am constantly “coming of age” (metaphorically speaking or in case thats ominous still, like i feel like i do in fact get older but do to circumstance, bad choices, and a lot of fuckening, i very much am learning alot of basic shit i shouldve known, or yes i am just now learning how to not be like donny on the wildthornberrys

I truly was happy and want to die everytime i think about how unhappy i made them

Make them

The wont miss me when i die because im alive and they surely dont is the thing i come back to whether wrong or not it is

Sometimes i cry about things i dont know are true bit definitely feel on my gut or for those in the loop my LN

You can keep my heart in dont want it anymore

I know realistically im bugging and i just feel bad and i need meds and yadayada yada

Im gonna be blunt with ya chief, im blowing my fucking brains out gn

[ocean-anchored]

continued... December 13, 2023

Yesterday was the office trivia which we needed more people so I had also invited him expecting him to not say yes so quickly but he did! I offered to pick him up cause I knew he lived DT and he also said yes again & gave me his number. He was really friendly, he did engage & ask questions which I liked. Trivia was fun even though both of us barley contributed. Shane, Kamber, Amber, Naythan, Nick, Ali, Troy & i. It was a fun night, I got to know Troy better and we had a good brief chat on the way home about church and trying to connect with people. I can't read him too well but I mean, who says yes to a NYE night & a trivia night so quickly if they don't want to connect? Idk. I'm certainly not getting my hopes up & keeping it causal. I've been thinking about thanking him again for picking up my tab (even tho it was a server error) but I remember Daniel telling me about some reasons why Troy & his ex broke up so I thought about saying thank you & gently putting it out there that Id buy him a beer whenever he's free, I don't want to come across too much at first here though so Ill give it a bit of time. Who knows, I guess we'll find out over time and we'll see what NYE brings. Yesterday, was 2 weeks since I last spoke to Zack, I've been doing good not thinking about him much & not caring. I almost got past thinking that he'd reach out again but he did. Texted me asking if he could explain what happened & that he doesn't deserve it but had to try. I haven't responded. I don't plan to. He really fucked me up and really does not deserve to talk to me again. I'm happier without him. I need to move on and I can't get sucked back in, that's so damn toxic and honestly I don't care. I'm SURE he was high again when we were talking at some point over that weekend and that Monday night so I don't need an explanation, I know what he's going to say, it's always the same shit and I'm over it. Oh and Connor, yea also tried of that shit. I'm so tired of being an option and inconsistency. We talked a bit after the last time I saw him and then his last text back was again just giving me nothing to work off, he's such a shitty texter so my response was somewhat cut off I know he didn't have anything to comment back other than if he asked how im doing which he didnt so I left it. It was a couple days, till my IG got hacked & he texted me, again which we exchanged very few words and gave me nothing so I thought Id asked how his week was cause I knew he was off those days. went back & forth like one or two more times but again still just fuck all so I didn't bother responding, then he did text me the next night when I went to Shanes christmas party & again few exchanges back, I knew he was close to his time off so we talked about him having the next two weeks off and then he said "well have to hang again soon" which I commented back "ya let me know when if you'd like to" along with another little text acknowledging his plans for his time off & of course no response like fuck me. then last night texts about the knights game with literally like 3 words and an emoji so I gave him nothing back, it's pathetic and I'm not going to engage in being someone to entertain someone while they're bored. Gosh men are so fucking annoying and lazy and non committal. I swear I might really just be single for a long ass time. Anyways, that's the last week or so. I'm really thankful for Amber & Naythan, it will be really nice to spend the holidays with them and I hope to continue focusing on myself and putting myself first.