#it’s about y’all trying to defend something that’s not worth it

[infiniteetcetera]

My next weekly controversial ACOTAR post: A defense of Azriel, because if I see one more post saying he has no personality or is an incel (but also an f-boy apparently) then it’s game over

Azriel is such an interesting and complex character I think it’s an incredible shame so many readers misinterpret him just because his character is shown is small bursts rather than loud blasts. SO i’m not going to try and defend him because this man has done nothing wrong, instead I’ll provide y’all with a list of moments that prove both that Azriel DOES have a personality and that’s it’s a loveable one:

•He tells Feyre that Cassian is annoying right up front (a small thing but I appreciate it)

• He spent the night at Rita’s with Feyre, playing silly games betting on Rhys’ dating life (funny for so many reasons) and making her feel comfortable in an overwhelming situation

•Even though he’s quiet and private, he confides to Feyre he doesn’t know where he belongs after 500 years and feels he doesn’t fit in to reassure her that the feelings she’s having are normal

•He was reassuring and polite to Elain and Nesta when they first meet

•Acknowledged that it was a risk and a sacrifice for Nesta and Elain to lend them their house and was thankful rather than antagonistic or rude (*cough cough Cassian*) and met them both with a protective regard to Feyre but an open mind about their circumstances

•Is so upset by the mysogny and abuse in Illyria he straight up refuses to go there because he will not play nice and polite with these jerks like Rhys and Cas do

•In Feyre’s own words, she trusts him well enough that if Rhys was ever doing something to harm her/locking her up like Tamlin did she believes he would not only save her but deal with Rhys himself if it came to it

•Follow up on above, he spies on Amren against Rhys’ orders. When Feyre asks about it Amren says Azriel is the most disobedient of the IC (some of them could never) because he’s willing to do what is right over what Rhys thinks is right (hot)

•Gave Feyre such a stunning smile after she accepts the mating bond that Rhys is filled with jealousy and ready to attack (that is to say, this man is very pretty and deserves credit for it)

•Amren putting her head on his shoulder after battle because she’s tired and everyone (including him) is shocked but he’s polite about it and also it just radiates male worth trusting vibes

•Was literally bleeding out screaming crying throwing up poisoned and still sassed the king of Hybern for Mor and Feyre

•When Cassian is trying to make Lucien uncomfortable Azriel KICKS HIM (all the Azriel is so mean/hates Lucien people come down to reality please)

•When Cassian implies something rude about Nesta and Mor wants to join in Azriel shoots her a look to stop (yes the Az that is supposedly obsessed with Mor and her opinion of him) and Feyre describes said look as as if they had talked about it many times before so YES EVEN PRE-ACOWAR THIS MAN WAS SUPPORTING NESTA

•Feyre and Mor both agree he’s the only one with manners

•He laughed at Nesta’s sassy comment to Mor because man respects good comedy

•When Cassian makes a sexist joke and implies Az is thinking the same thing not only does Azriel not engage with his tomfoolery but Mor cuts in to defend him as the only batboy who never says such things

•Just the ENTIRE sequence of him training Feyre to fly. He’s so sweet and witty and charming

•So gentle and reassuring to Elain, offering to show her the garden and carrying her all the way up to the house

•Him taking care of Feyres injuries from the flying lessons. Again just always being so gentle and sweet. He trusts her enough not to go easy on her but isn’t cruel and overworking either

•The entire Nephelle story and just the fact Rhys gave the story to Azriel as a “gift” this boy appreciates sweet stories about underdog lesbians with wings and I love it

•Just him paying such close careful attention to Elain and recognizing she is a seer, him talking her through her visions and helping reassure her she’s not crazy (he knows what that feels like)

•Even though he hates Illyrians, he helps Cassian break the news to the families of those who lost warriors in the war

•Just “I don’t see you spouting poetry brother” “I don’t need to resort to it😩🔥”

•BE CAREFUL HOW YOU SPEAK ABOUT MY HIGH LADY

•Eris uttered the word “slut” about a woman and this man ATTACKED. Like I am an Eris stan and I know some people don’t like this scene but it’s the true feminist energy I need

•Ignoring Rhys’ order to stand down but stopping the second Feyre says something bc this man respects women’s authority (t’s literally an intentional way of demonstrating Feyres power right after she was belittled by Tamlin. people act like he was rabid in this scene but it seems so clear to me he was intentionally doing this to support his high lady)

•Was the first to realize something was wrong with Elain (also has a sweet exchange of looks with Nesta over it, like they are homegirl’s designated protectors)

•Just EVERYTHING about him volunteering to get Elain back. Whether you ship Elriel or not this was such a sweet moment. He doesn’t hesitate at all even when Nesta says it’s a death wish and everyone’s sentiment starts to change.

•Everything about him saving Elain and the human girl. Just 10/10 all around, hot, stunning, sweet, incredible, precious angel of death boy

•Az is so badly wounded after the rescue mission that Rhys and the others who see him are shocked but he refused to set Elain down (even though she’s not hurt) until Rhys takes her and the first thing he asks is for Helion to come unchain her (not anything for himself). Again just SOOO sweet and caring whether you ship Elriel or not

•Another Elriel moment but well they happen, Az giving her truth teller is just🤧 he’s never lent out this blade to his brothers or anyone else, we know it has some special brand of magic and he likely does too and he offers it to Elain to give her a sense of safety (again even if you don’t ship them it’s just so considerate)

•”Chain me to a tree Rhys, I’ll rip it out of the ground and fly with it on my damned back” LIKE TELL ME THAT ISNT HOT

•A super small moment but after the war when the boys are watching the sisters/Mor laughing and Rhys starts crying Az tells him “it’s real” and I just think the intuitive understanding and care behind that is so sweet (especially when Az is so misunderstood by his brothers)

•This sounds more like a hate comment to Rhys/Cassian than pro Az but when Rhys admits he and Cassian used to beat Azriel for hours to get him to speak to them and he never would, I think that’s such crazy determination and resolve and also he’s wayyyyy nicer than me for still putting up with them after that

•HIM REFUSING TO SPY ON LUCIEN. I just love that degree of respect it’s made even better by the fact Rhys asks about Lucien a second time bc he literally assumes Az was joking and Azriel’s just like “nope not doing it” (again people who say he hates Lucien, please)

•Him finding drunk Cassian and Feyre and trying to fix their terrible decorations the just chugging some wine himself😭 he’s so funny AND sweet

•”Sit, I’ll take care of it.” I NEED THIS ENERGY FROM EVERY MAN EVER PLEASE

•Also him telling everyone to wait for Elain because she’s literally the one who cooked and them eating before her would be rude and I just IWJDKWKDN again so hot and polite and it’s not even a romance/flirting thing bc when Elain comes back and she/Cas give him the opportunity to take credit he doesn’t at all?? He just did it because it’s right and proper

•Him insulting Amren to defend Elain (and then blushing when everyone laughs at his joke) he’s precious (and funny af)

•Him dying at Elains gift JMEKXNEKD the IC stresses him fr and he’s waiting for someone to free him

•Him being nice about Mor’s awful gifts even though she’s known him for 500 years and still gets him awful gifts and also exchanges lingerie with Cassian to his (and Nesta’s) face even though she thinks Az is in love with her

•Half compliment to Az half complaint about Cassian, but when there’s mention of all the universe research Rhys does in ACOSF Cassians like “Rhys told him and he instantly forgot” but As is super interested and listens intently and wants to learn more and I just love a boy with hobbies and interests😩

•Small thing but when he first sees Nes in the house of wind in ACOSF he smiles and is so polite and Nesta tells us for like a whole paragraph how beautiful he is and I trust that woman above all

•Also in reference to the above, Nesta chats with Az for like 10 seconds and instantly wants to train with him over Cas because she knows he’d be better to her

•Azriel blushing when Nesta calls him pretty✨ (such a sweet lover boy I swear)

•He laughs at Nesta’s insults to Cassian but holds back from laughing at Cassians✨

•The only one who literally JUST ASKS why Nesta won’t train and also sparks the idea in Cassians obtuse head that it might be because she doesn’t want to train in Illyria (VALID)

•I know people have mixed takes about how the scene is written but him asking Nesta if she was pushed down the stairs feels genuine to me, like he asks the question very pointedly serious and focuses just on Nesta, his vague amusement after is only in regard to Cassians dumb reaction but the fact he asked her and the way in which he does it (ignoring Cassians input and still waiting for Nesta’s answer) shows genuine consideration to her (still a stranger to him for all intents and purposes) over his brother’s feelings

•Him paying such careful attention to Nesta and being the only one who never starts fights with her to such a strong degree that even Nesta feels too seen by him

•Such a basic thing (but it’s not when you look at the quality of other ACOTAR men unfortunately) but when Cassian asks him if he wants kids he says it’s not his decision (like this is why I hate the anti-elriel “elain can’t bare his children” argument, I assure you Az does not gaf)

•”Azriel had never said a bad word about Nesta” and i’m not supposed to stan???

•Also the fact he doesn’t like hand to hand combat bc he doesn’t like getting covered in people’s sweat JEKKDKW I know it’s just a gag Cas jokes about but there’s something so funny and refined about that

•Him being so competitive is hot honestly😩 especially how Cassian describes it as not being in an arrogant or scary way but in a very strategic sort of manner, how he’s often the only one who can compete with Rhys (who was trained for this stuff since birth) like YES

•Az getting flustered and awkwardly walking away when he sees how Nesta is staring at him and Cas KEKKDKE i so highly appreciate his balance between confident and shy boy

•Him and Nesta smiling about Cassians stupidity, being “allies against his insanity,” again, Az just being a friend to her is so sweet (and important given it’s like the one thing Nesta needed in this book)

•Not only does he vote with Cas against keeping things from Nes but when Amren starts saying lewd things about her it’s Azriel (not Cassian bc apparently he could never) who tells her to STFU about Nesta

•Amren tells the boys NOT to touch the sword and Az is legit the only one who tries to listen (the ONLY bat boy with brain cells half the time)

•Just the fact that once he starts training the Priestesses with Cas Nesta notes a bunch of them seem to have crushes on him. Like these girls who have been so traumatized by men they can barely stand to be in public feel that comfortable with him so quickly, he just radiates safe energy

•Also a small moment but him awkwardly smiling the first time he sees Gwyn at training and just trying to act casual to not make her feel weird is so sweet.

•Him dancing with Nesta “as easily as breathing” (again, their friendship means everything to me)

•When Nesta asks him why he came to solstice if seeing Elain/Lucien hurts him and he says “Because Rhys wants me here and it’d hurt him if I didn’t come” like HEJEKNDO he’s so selfless for the people he cares about FR (especially given how Rhys talks to him that same night)

•EVERYTHING about his gift to Nesta. The fact he didn’t have to give her one in the first place (it was no one’s expectation, including hers. on the surface he didn’t even get Elain a gift so it wasn’t just a polite thing). The way the gift is literally SO SWEET AND GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL like he took care not just to get her something but to get her something that would bring her joy and be useful (and is definitely based on his observations about her avoiding the fireplace)

•ALSO when she hugs him the entire room goes silent because they’re just that shocked but he just laughs and hugs her gently and then is blushing after like ANDKEKD

•The entire relationship he forms with Gwyn and how he notes shes competitive and uses that to help inspire her in training and even when he’s teasing her he’s so potently rooting for her too

•Him being nervous about holding baby Nyx with his scarred hands like this precious angel IEKKDKW

Most Offending Thing, His Bonus Chapter (the good and the bad)

•Him scheming about a snowball fight for a whole year is hilarious

•Also him including in his plotting that Cassian would be up all night with Nesta (little did he know his boy only lasts like one round, that and Cassian being so horrified at the thought of Az finding out about him being quick off the mark with Nesta, I just know Az is the stamina king)

•Even his shadows just want him to sleep but your boy is too depressed

•I’m sorry but everything about his and Elains almost kiss is HOT people who think it was overly sexualized or something have missed all the first thoughts we get from like every SJM boy about their LI (ROWAN IN QOS FR) and also the fact that this tension has obviously been brewing for a while??? he’s been avoiding her because it’s that palpable and ELAIN KNOWS IT. it’s a mutual thing it doesnt mean there isn’t romance beneath it or that he’s a creep for wanting her after a year of putting off his feelings

Brief interlude, his offending lines:

•”My two brothers are with two of those sisters but the third was given to another” - the language here might make you uncomfortable but that’s because MATING BONDS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. we’re told by Rhys himself that they’re often used to “give” a female to a male. the distinction he makes here that Feyre/Nes are “with” Rhys/Cas but Elain was “given” to Lucien is because Elucien is the only mating bond example we’ve followed in this series where the foundation is not love and choice. Azriel does not feel entitled/think he deserves Elain. In this same chapter he feels unworthy to even touch her, stands outside in the freezing cold until he’s “again nothing at all.” Mor tells us all the way back in ACOMAF that he feels completely undeserving of love. Azriel does not think he deserves Elain just because Rhys said so (Az LITERALLY glares at him for saying it). Azriel brought up a valid point (that other characters have too) that the Archeron sisters (who have comparable power) would makes sense all mated to the bat boys (again, comparable power) since we know that’s a crux of mating bonds. Not to mention, Azriel and Elain genuinely just like each other and always have, more so than any of the mated couples even. From a logical standpoint, they would make sense as mates. Even this ships haters say they would be “too predictable/obvious” like SO YOU AGREE THEY MAKE EASY LOGICAL SENSE that’s what Az is implying.

•”Lucien will never be good enough for her” I’ve seen a lot of people use this line to say Az hates/drags Lucien but that’s not how I interpret it at all. First off, all of Az’s other actions (i’ve listed some above) show he’s actually very considerate of/trusting in regards to Lucien. This line to me reads less as “lucien is a bad/undeserving person” and more “Lucien is not what Elain wants” (right after he says she has no interest in him). From Azriel’s POV (and ours my fellow readers) Lucien has done nothing to win over Elain. Yes he’s been polite and I applaud him for that over others actions with their mates (cough cough Cassian) but he’s also never sought her out for a real conversation about the bond, never had any sort of “clicking” moment with her, and still after years just makes her uncomfortable (as far as we and Az know). I think it makes perfect sense to infer from this Lucien is not “good enough” in regards to what Elain is seeking (I think the easiest way I can put this is the idea of “somebody can be perfect but still not perfect for you”). Is Azriel’s opinion a little biased? Yes FS, but also this girl was about to let him do filthy things to her down the hall from Lucien, I say it’s pretty safe for him to infer that she doesn’t want Lucien (and therefor never will).

•”He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to” - I won’t repeat what I said above regarding the sexual undertones in the chapter, but also the reason why Az hadn’t thought beyond this is in the chapter and it’s not because he’s some fuck boy. AZRIEL KNOWS HE CANT HAVE A FUTURE WITH ELAIN AND DOESNT THINK HE DESERVES IT. It’s written all over their interactions together. He wanted to kiss her to have a piece of her to hold onto, not because he thinks he can have a future with her because he knows as things stand he can’t. He doesn’t want to plan to push her/seduce her (like rhys implies) or anything because he doesn’t feel worthy of her and knows circumstances won’t allow them to be together safely. What’s driving him crazy and keeping him up at night with fantasies is that they do both want each other, but imagining a life where they could have more than that and be happy together is impossible for Az because he’s someone who has never prioritized his happiness and does not expect it.

•”I’ll defeat him with little effort.” - Again reading comprehension I beg, this is not a diss against Lucien. If Lucien was the type of guy to invoke a blood duel because Elain chose Azriel (Lucien wouldn’t, Azriel doesn’t even think he would it’s Rhys who suggests it) then YEAH AZ CAN KICK HIS ASS WITH LITTLE EFFORT BC THAT WOULD BE A CRAPPY THING TO DO.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

•I LOVE everything about his scene with Gwyn on the roof. His vague awkwardness, his teasing of her and trying to be polite, him actually trying to help her train (after we learn Cas has been useless, go figure), and just being so sweet and kind to her in general even though he’s probably still incredibly sad/upset🤧

•This precious boy gets a small urge to cross his arms and is thrown into a PTSD flashback of his father with his mom??? He constantly consciously makes effort not to appear scary/threatening to women because he’s that scarred from his fathers behavior😭

•Listen, I won’t try to entirely defend the necklace thing because I do think it’s weird no matter who you ship Azriel with BUT i will say my best take on it is that it’s a version of self harm/sabotage. Like the only thing that makes sense to me here is he’s subconsciously creating barriers in his relationships with both Elain/Gwyn by doing this which is honestly way less f-boy (a weird take i’ve seen from people, especially given at this point he has no plans to pursue either Elain or Gwyn) and just way more very sad.

FINALLY, sprinkles from HOFAS:

•He’s so FINE in this book

•His silly little things like kicking rocks while trailing Nesta and Bryce to make a point are SO funny

•Him and Nesta working so well together, may not be a point in his favor but it makes me happy

•Azriel loving and defending his mom✨

•Azriel barely snapping at Nesta and then immediately apologizing and saying he loves her. THAT is more emotional intelligence than any other male in ACOTAR has shown

•Him liking club music but also being embarrassed about it? Adorable

•Everything about his interactions with Bryce in this book strike me so hard because you can tell he’s trying to keep his guard up but still has a lot of sympathy for her. I think that gets to the core of who Az is: smart and distant and guarded but also genuinely kind above all

•Also so many small funny little jokes and lines

I COULD PROBABLY SAY MORE AND GO ON FOREVER BUT HOPEFULLY PEOPLE GET THE POINT :)

[lycoperdales]

Is Scott a hero just because he’s a protagonist?

Okay so I’ve pulled an all nighter just reading teen wolf meta after meta (because I am obsessed and have issues) and a common theme was that Scott was a bad hero because heroes sacrifice themselves and Scott didn’t do that.

But why is Scott labelled as a hero in the first place?

Teen wolf wasn’t a marvel series about a boy with powers trying to be a superhero. It was about a him trying to regain control over his life.

He had debilitating asthma but decided that it would not stop him from being an athlete.

We was attacked in the woods and turned into something unrecognisable but still fought for the right to have a regular teenage experience.

He was defensive over Derek’s new betas and Jackson because he knew that they’d never be able to experience a normal life ever again.

He had a month long mental breakdown for not being able to save the chimeras while his body was once again falling apart on him.

He goes through the process of hating being a werewolf for changing his life, to accepting it, to defending his right, and the right of other supernaturals, to live.

Have y’all seen the werewolf movies that teen wolf references? The entire premise of all those movies is that a young man is turned against his will, loses control and kills a loved one, then spends the rest of the movie trying decide whether life like that is worth living at all.

The only time he actually assumes that hero role, is when it’s pushed onto him. Like in season one where Stiles gets mad that Scott didn’t prevent the Sheriff from being hit by a car, or in season 3A when he HAS to break the mountain barrier or their parents literally die.

Scott just wanted to live his life bro, is that really so bad?

(I could also talk about how Scott does in fact sacrifice himself but that’s for a later date)

[scrapyardwarlocks]

This is my Braime rant.

Oh, hello there. Yes, it's been a few years, and I'm still thinking about the GOT finale. When people talk about it, it's mostly to roast Bran getting the throne or Daenerys turning evil because of a bell tower (both extremely valid), BUT I am forever the most salty about the way Jaime and Brienne's story ended. Like...????????

First, I must acknowledge that there are the Tormund x Brienne shippers. I suppose their relationship could’ve gotten more emotionally complex if given the chance, but we only see Tormund horny boy howling because of Brienne's size and strength. In huge contrast, Jaime Lannister’s connection to Brienne goes much further than a surface-level attraction to a large, powerful woman.

They fundamentally changed each other for the better in HUGE ways:

Brienne's relationship with Jaime gave her a sense of agency she never had before. He gave her the opportunities and tools to fulfill exactly what she wanted to be. He developed an unwavering trust in her judgment and skills as a knight that she hadn’t really experienced before. A feminist king, if there ever was one (after a personal growth journey, of course).

Brienne allowed Jaime to see his potential as an honorable man. He opened up to her emotionally in a way he’s done with no one else (except maybe his brother Tyrion?) Although she wasn’t the only reason he decided to defy his sister and do what’s right, she certainly had a monumental impact on his self-worth and morality.

Even when they were firmly on opposite sides, they still advocated and protected each other. Jaime lost the hand he used for sword fighting, and he fought a BEAR for her, for God's sake.

And you can't argue that they didn't have a physical and emotional connection. The amount of unadulterated, obvious yearning is insane, y’all. Right in front of everyone's salad.

I mean, Brienne willingly gives him her virginity, something she’s been vehemently defending her whole life. She allowed him to see her at her most vulnerable. But then...

Jaime decides to go back to King's Landing to protect his sister at the last moment. Keep in mind, he had already fully betrayed Cersei just a few episodes beforehand. In the end, he dies in his emotionally abusive sister’s arms, and the show implies that she's the woman he truly loves... it's genuinely vile to me.

If Jaime had stayed in the same place he was in season one, the exact same thing would've happened to him in the end. So... WTF was the point? What was the point of all that inner conflict, emotional growth, meaningful connection? Jack squat, according to the writers and the footnote dedicated to him in the King's Landing records. 

What lesson are we supposed to learn from this, huh? No matter how hard you try to grow and change, what you were born into will always drag you back? You should stay in a toxic relationship, no matter how destructive, because you still feel like you love them? People who have made mistakes in the past don't deserve a second chance at life? That is what I got with the end to Jaime's story.

Thank you for your time, your honor.

[x0401x]

No, but… that was a really good one, actually.

I might as well let this out. A lot of people are still losing their minds over episode 12, and I’m not even gonna try to pretend this isn’t to be expected. It’s not happening only on this side of the fandom—the Japanese one was also torn about it, although I’d argue they were much quicker to understand what KyoAni was going for with it.

Y’all know me. That goddamn studio owns my soul, but I’m not joining the “KyoAni did it again (even when they actually did not)” club in this lifetime or the next. If the changes made during the adaptation ruin the intention of the original work, no matter how good the animation is, a spade is still a spade and I address it at length when people ask my opinion. But that’s not what happened this time.

And guys, hear me out: it’s not as painful as everyone is making it to be. I’m dead-serious about that. Stick with me here.

Firstly, there’s a couple of conversations going on that we need to put to sleep. One of them, the one bothering me the most, is that Reina “chose Taki’s way of doing things over Kumiko”. Or worse, that she “chose winning at the nationals over Kumiko”. The episode itself debunks this in several ways, mainly by showing that flashback of S1. If Reina had chosen Kumiko despite thinking Mayu’s performance was better, Kumiko would’ve known, and it could very well have been the end of their friendship. She would’ve been outraged. In no universe would this scenario ever make her happy. More importantly, the flashback implies that Reina wants to choose Kumiko in spite of everything. What stops her from doing so is the fact that it would mean betraying Kumiko, which is worse than not being able to play with her on national stage one last time. Reina didn’t choose Kumiko… but she did.

None of this was about victory—it truly was a matter of meritocracy. Choosing the best members doesn’t guarantee they would win at the nationals, especially given that Mayu isn’t superior to Kumiko by a wide margin. They’re almost tied. And neither was any of it a Taki vs. Kumiko thing for Reina. She’s abrasive when it comes to defending his policies, but her belief in him isn’t blind. The fandom tends to underestimate Reina a lot because of her romantic feelings and mistakes her faith for stubbornness, even though both the novels and the anime are adamant about her good judgement. It’s not that she trusts him because she’s in love with him—she’s in love with him because he is worth her trust. Then again, this had nothing to do with him. It was all about Kumiko. She was the only thing in Reina’s mind the whole time. Taki wasn’t mentioned even in passing.

The other is that Kumiko’s loss was for shock value because the novel’s outcome was too obvious and KyoAni wanted to surprise the viewers. I’m not gonna lie, this decision was definitely meant to give the anime a so-called “plus alpha” in comparison to the original, but that’s not all there is to it. The main reason is obviously to have it be more grounded and mature, not so much your usual music anime, as well as make the whole debate about fairness actually convincing. The original is not only predictable, it’s also questionable. It’s easy for something to look like Deus Ex Machina even when that’s clearly not the intention, and KyoAni didn’t want Eupho to be that anime. By extension, they shot down every suspicion that could’ve possibly been raised about Kumiko’s win in the original work.

Of course Reina would’ve recognized Kumiko’s sound, so although most readers would know that she wouldn’t choose Kumiko for any reason other than her performance, it still leaves room for doubt. The anime slaps this doubt into outer space by constructing a situation where Reina deemed Mayu’s playing as superior, although by a hair’s breadth. It effectively answers the question of “what would she have done if that was the case?”. With the author having approved of this, it’s safe to say that, yes, that’s what Reina would have done in canon as well. And it would be the right choice, which then means that her choice in the original was also undebatably the right one. That Kumiko earned her win in the novel.

This may or may not have been intended, but either way, the anime has elevated the original work’s outcome by going for that route. After all, the original was predictable, sure, but that doesn’t mean it was unrealistic. These two things are being confused and conflated with one another a lot in many comments that I’ve been seeing out there. Realism doesn’t always have to be negative. Kumiko and Mayu had equal chances of winning. That’s what the audition was all about. The novel portrays what would’ve happened if Kumiko had won, while the anime portrays what would’ve happened if she had lost. Both are valid and the existence of one further validates the other, not the contrary.

What the author wanted to show was that, although Kumiko can’t follow Reina or her more talented senpais, she’s still an excellent player, enough to perform the solo on national competitions, and she wouldn’t let this get the better of her. It also seems like there was an element of “be careful with what you wish” as one of the morals behind Mayu’s arc, where she finally accepts her true feelings through regret rather than joy. Meanwhile, what KyoAni wanted to show is that, even if Kumiko is surpassed, she’s still an exceptional leader and has the makings of a fine teacher. In a way, the anime affirms that both Kumiko and Mayu play a special role in guiding Kitauji through the final tournament. Above all, both routes assert that Reina wouldn’t lie under any circumstances and that Kumiko (as well as Mayu) would indeed accept either result with utmost grace and understanding, no matter how frustrating it might be.

Another thing that the anime elevated is Kumiko and Reina’s bond. In my honest opinion, KumiRei has become the best female relationship in animation and one of the absolute best female relationships in fiction thanks to this episode. It’s transcended friendship, transcended gay, transcended fucking everything.

Alternative endings aren’t dead and they don’t always suck. Eupho continues to be one of the most amazing slice-of-life franchises ever.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Locker Room Conversations II

In which there’s hurt and comfort and a bunch of awkward silences, and the writer satisfies her need for Jamie to be called up for England and for Roy to maybe say something nice to him once in a while.  

“And I’ll se y’all after the break, yeah? Make sure you have some fun. And to Sam, Dani, Colin, Van Damme and Jamie – best of luck out there. Win or lose, I know you’ll make your countries and more importantly yourselves just as proud as we all already are of you.”

It’s a nice little speech, staying remarkably on tangent. Woops and applause follow, and that’s that for the last practice before a week of international break and world cup qualifiers.

“I’m so excited,” Dani exclaims, as if that wasn’t his natural state. “This is your first time too, right, Jamie?”

Jamie’s sprawled on the bench by his locker, too busy showing Cockburn something on his phone to bother getting changed. “Uh, yeah. Did the U-20 when I was nineteen, but nothing after that.”

“How come? I mean, you’re such a great player, you would think they would have called you up sooner!”

There’s a slight hush at that, starting hesitant and quickly edging closer to awkward. Dani’s smiles fades into faint bewilderment as his eyes wander from Jamie to the other players, none of which return his look.

The silence drags on for another moment, and then Roy turns from the board where he’s been writing down instructions (don’t forget cardio, don’t be an idiot, stick to your sleep schedule) for the players having a week off rather than going away to play for their countries.

“He wasn’t called up earlier because he was blacklisted for being a huge fucking prick.”

“… oh.” Dani doesn’t sound too surprised; more than anything he sounds downcast, as if reminded of an unfortunate fact he’d been happy to forget.

 Perhaps it’s that rather than Roy’s pronouncement that has Jamie sit up straight on the bench. “Yeah, I wonder what trusted old England player they got that from.” He’s clearly trying for casual, unbothered, and he’s not entirely succesful.  

Roy crosses his arms. Stares right back at Jamie without blinking. “Not going to fucking apologize for telling people who asked me that you were an absolute fucking nightmare to play with back when you fucking were.”

Jamie’s not good at hiding his emotions, and the full spectrum of them is there to be read on his face now: hurt warring with anger warring with resignation warring with embarrassment. He wants to bite back but struggles not to; knows that there’s truth to Roy’s once-assessment but still  wants to defend himself or press for an admission that it isn’t true anymore. His mouth open, closes; he doesn’t speak but his face speaks volumes.

The room is quiet. Ted looks from Jamie to Roy to Jamie and back to Roy again. When Roy remains silent, remains unmoving, he shakes his head:

“You’re really not gonna tell him how you’ve spent weeks calling up all those same people to make sure they know how great he is now, huh?”

An exhalation at that, travelling through the room as tensions ease and shoulders drop.

Roy turns his head slowly to fix Ted with his coldest glare. “No. I wasn’t.” 

Ted is unflinching. Too used to the Roy Kent Special Stare to be cowed by it now. “Well, you know, sometimes these things are better said out loud.”

Roy’s growl suggests that he absolutely does not fucking agree. He very pointedly does not meet Jaime’s eyes, studiously avoids seeing the grin slowly growing on the younger man’s face. 

There’s only a hint of triumph there; mostly there’s just pleasure tinged with shyness. “Thanks, Coach.”

“Don’t fucking mention it.” As Jamie opens his mouth, Roy quickly raises his hand. “I mean it. Don’t mention it.”

And he stalks towards the door – but then he relents, pausing right next to Jamie, not looking at him as he offers in a voice suggesting he’s about to rip someone’s head off: 

“I wouldn’t still be spending fucking hours of my free time every day training you if I didn’t think it was worth the fucking effort. Of course you should fucking play for England. They’d be idiots not to have you, and you’ll do fucking great.”

And he is gone.

The hush is easier this time, lighter.  

“It’s interesting,” Jan Maas ventures eventually. “Even when he’s paying you a compliment, it sounds like he’s insulting you.”

“Yeah, well, if he had to say it and sound like he meant it, the grumpy old bastard would probably turn to stone or something.”

Jamie’s smile is a thing far too stunned and far too soft for it to seem like he means what he’s saying either.

[bittyfromquotev]

Well I wasn’t on anon, so people know it’s me and I have something to say that people might not see in the reblog:

A couple of responses in the replies came off as very passive-aggressive and condescending. It seems like it was all about “oh no someone doesn’t like our ship we must defend it”.

My first words were “I don’t understand the ShadowPlanet ship”. They were NOT “ew I don’t like ShadowPlanet”. Let’s make that clear.

Secondly, while I understand this one isn’t TECHNICALLY incest (why I said “kind of” in the ask), the fact that a couple people claim that the term incest is “being thrown around too frequently” is strange to me. I can see people getting the way over the Eclipse x Sun or the Eclipse x Earth stuff, but not SolarMoon. Again, this ask was about ShadowPlanet, but these ships are worth mentioning. If you want to ship these guys, make an AU. BUT. Make one that has MORE changes than just “oh they’re not related”.

Let me circle back to my first statement: The tone of the responses. Now I know that not everyone in the replies was defensive of their reasoning for the ship (even though I guess there doesn’t always need to be a reason), but the ones that were stuck out to me. Hence this post.

Now, I’m genuinely sorry if I seem like I’m attacking y’all. I’m not trying to. I just wanted to clear things up. Just wanted to express my confusion. Some of them probably weren’t going for a passive-aggressive tone or an aggressively defensive one. It just comes off that way. Sorry.

Anyway, that’s what I wanted to say. All I wanted was to express my confusion, not bash a ship and smash it to pieces while shrieking “ew” like a little kid. I will proceed to post normally again :)

[stargirlfeyre]

Rhys and Illyria:

“Well if Rhys is so powerful why can’t he just kill all the Illyrians who believe in oppressing their women” Sweetheart walk with me for a quick minute. The Illyrians are already trying to rebel simply because he made it illegal for them to disable their women. What do you think would happen if he just went around killing citizens, camp leaders, lords, etc simply for having that mindset? And I’m not talking about people being killed/punished for wing-clippings because no matter how much y’all want to deny it, they are already punished for it. I’m talking about mass-murdering people for having a prejudiced mindset because that’s basically what y’all are saying he should do.

When y’all say “he should just kill them” I don’t think y’all realize how bad the issue of oppression against women is in Illyrian. He wouldn’t just be killing 100 people or even 1000. It’s not just “a few bad apples”. This has gone on since Illyria existed. Previous HighLords have don’t nothing to fix it and Rhys basically inherited a millennia worth of issues. I also don’t think a lot of you take into account how huge Illyria is, how they make up most of the NC citizens, and how they make up most of their army. The IC can’t just go around and start slaughtering all of those people in the name of “promoting change”. Offering simple fixes to complex problems that have been going on for centuries and effects the entire community is never going to work. It’s shown that Wing-clippings are banned and not tolerated at all but there are still ways that Illyrians choose to oppress the women in their community (example: refusing to let them even learn to defend themselves or pick up weapons for that matter. something Cassian has been trying to fix how god knows how long).

It’s not as simple as “just kill everyone who clips wings” because while the people who do that are punished for it, there’s still the vast amount of men who don’t do it yet still have certain prejudiced mindsets about women. I feel like a lot of you oversimplify the problems in Illyria because you don’t want to admit that it’s completely understandable why the IC is still struggling to actually fix the issues there.

Literally when has a politician ever mass-murdered their citizens for having a different belief than them and it went well for them?

[trubbishrubbish]

Toko DR1 defense rant. (+ some UDG and Tokomaru hot takes)

I wrote a DR1 Toko defense rant and hot takes on twitter after seeing a DR1 Toko hate post on tumblr, funny that. Anyway, I'm copying pasting that rant onto here becuase it's really important. I will defend Toko with my life.

DR1 Toko haters are the weakest link.

Y’all can’t handle the fact that a woman with childhood trauma, trauma with relationships and has DiD with a serial killer alter is thrust into a stressful life or death killing game would not act very nice and normal 24/7.

If Toko in DR1 made you feel uncomfortable and you didn’t like her moments then that’s completely fine. That’s the point of her character.

It’s a pretty accurate portrayal of how someone with trauma who hasn’t been able to get the help they need would act this way. Her character was perfectly done to serve the story she has. Saying her character is bad just because it’s uncomfortable is dumb.

You can argue that her trauma being played for laughs and is bad taste but that’s more a story issue than a character issue.

Here’s another hot take: If you love UDG Toko but hate DR1 Toko then you don’t actually love Toko, you only love a fanon version of Toko.

A fanon Toko that is gay for Komaru and her obsession with Byakuya and trauma are just “magically gone”

All of Toko’s negative traits in DR1 are still present in UDG. Her sole motivation for coming to Towa city was to save Byakuya. Her reason for sticking with Komaru, encouraging her to not give up when she is at her lowest and helping and saving her, it was all done so Toko could trade Komaru with the enemy so she could save Byakuya. Her being rude and making incest jokes in front of Komaru are aspects of Toko’s character that shouldn’t be ignored. (Although, the incest part is more a product of UDG trying to squeeze as much grossness it can)

The reason why it shouldn’t be ignored is that it makes Toko’s growth in chapter 4 onwards all the more significant. Toko at the start of UDG was calling Komaru “Omaru” and fully wanted to betray her.

Toko in the end of UDG has learned that she likes having Komaru as a friend and wants to fight to save both her and Byakuya. That’s a character god tier arc.

But what about Toko’s obsession afterwards? It still exists because it’s linked to her trauma that she still has not been able to heal from. Komaru is a very important and wonderful person for Toko but she is not a therapist. She can’t diagnose all of Toko’s issues and create a way for Toko to fully heal. She can be the start and encourage Toko, but Toko needs professional therapy. Months of therapy most likely. This isn’t something that can be fixed in a week. DR3 shows that even when Toko has Komaru, she still has her obsession with Byakuya because she hasn’t been able to go to therapy.

I should probably clarify that I don’t dislike Tokomaru content that has Toko healing with Komaru’s help or Toko content that has her over Byakuya. Lord knows

I can’t throw stones in the department because of how I write Genocide Jack lol. But what I am saying is that DR1 Toko is important for UDG Toko to make sense. You can’t ignore DR1 Toko and only think about Toko as she is in UDG. Both Tokos are halves of one complete Toko.

That said, I do take slight issue with people who said that Toko NEEDED UDG to be good. Guys, Kodaka wasn’t thinking about UDG or any future DR game when writing DR1. DR1 was written as if it would be the only thing that could be made of the series. Toko’s arc in DR1 WAS supposed to end where it was. It wasn’t left incomplete so another game could fill in the rest. Toko in UDG is just an expansion of DR1 Toko. She’s already learned how to be braver and fight, UDG teaches her that she doesn’t have to pick and choose between two people. She can have both.

It’s extremely rare that a Danganronpa character has second time in the spotlight to develop more beyond the game they star in. Toko is the sole exception to this.

Also worth mentioning, Toko wasn’t first considered to be the partner early in development. It was actually Haiji that would be the secondary protagonist in UDG. The only reason why they switched from him to Toko was for gameplay purposes. Kodaka wanted the player to have the ability to switch to a super powerful character that can’t die so the people used to visual novel aspect of DR can play UDG without worrying about having to be good at a third person shooter.

Haiji’s power form would have been him taking off his cast and killing Monokumas with a robot arm. But that didn’t go very far so it was decided that Genocide Jack would be that power form.

That means y’all have to thank Genocide Jack for giving you the UDG lesbians. (Btw, if I got this info wrong please let me know.)

Anyway I exhausted myself from talking about Toko. She is a perfect weird girl who is one of DR’s best written characters.

[kinkandkreep]

Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhaké:ton Headcanons: As a Father

A/N: Hey hey y’all! So, as most of you may know by now, for the past week or so Ratonhnhaké:ton a.k.a Connor Kenway, the protagonist from Assassin’s Creed 3, has completely occupied my mind. Like I’m serious, it’s been exactly one (1) thought, head full of him. So, to help flush some of this fixation out of my system, I’ve taken to writing a shit ton of headcanons for him, all different au’s and themes. Today, we’ll be looking at what I envision Connor to be like as a father. Canonically, he has three (3) children, two daughters and a son. We never, however, get to see more of what he’s like as a dad, so that’s where I step in! 😁 FAIR WARNING: These are more so a combination of Modern and Canonical headcanons since I took inspiration from how I imagine Connor would behave in both timelines. With that being said, I hope you guys enjoy! And please feel free to send me any Connor related asks or requests you may have. I’d love to write more for him and interact more with my fellow Con-Con man lovers. 

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor Kenway as a Father Headcanons

Before I say anything else, and go into any detail, let me make something abundantly clear 

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor Kenway is an amazing father

He’s doting yet firm, protective but not overbearing

He’s attentive and accommodating, but not to the point of pandering and being spineless

He knows how to be gentle with his children, even from the time they’re infants and he gets to hold them for the first time

Speaking of…

The first time Connor gets to hold his child, his eyes water up like super hard

He only notices, as entranced as he is by his baby, because his picture of them becomes blurry

He’s afraid his tears will drop on his baby and startle them, so he quickly yet carefully hands her back to his wife and wipes the tears, which have now begun trickling down his face, before immediately, quietly asking for permission to hold his child again

(His wife, in her exhaustion and recovering from the sudden rush of adrenaline, thinks it’s funny and sweet that he thought to ask for permission) 

Ratonhnhaké:ton never ceases to be amazed, even as the number of times his wife gives birth increases and, subsequently, the number of his children grows

He’s just as astonished the third time as he was the first 

As I mentioned in some of my previous Connor-canons, he’s always desired to be a father and have a family

(I mean personally, before the comic came out, I wouldn’t have thought he necessarily wanted such a big family, but the fact that he apparently did positively warms my heart 😭)

Even years later, he still feels regret about the way things played out between him and his own father, and the more he contemplated why Haytham behaved in the way that he did, Connor has deduced that perhaps Haytham’s relationship with his dad wasn’t the greatest either, and that affected him to a degree

(That’s by no means meant to excuse or justify what Haytham did, but I thought it was worth mentioning)

He knows he can’t ever know the answer for certain, but with this speculation, Connor decided that he would do his utmost to be a good father to his children, regardless of what path they chose and what differences may have existed between them

We all know that Ratonhnhaké:ton can very easily become a papa bear when the situation calls for it, and he’s very unafraid of puttin’ the smackdown on people who would overstep their boundaries 

This behavior is increased tenfold once he becomes a father

Now he really is a papa bear, and anyone who would try to harm his children in any way will be dealt with. Swiftly. 

On the flipside of that however, Connor also knows that he shouldn’t coddle his kids, and that eventually they’ll have to learn to defend themselves

So, he does the obvious thing and covertly teaches them some of the fighting and self-defense techniques he learned as an Assassin 😁

It’s not full out Assassin training (outside of Io:nhiòte, who of course possesses the OG eagle vision) and he tries to keep it on the dl from his wife (who eventually finds out anyway and scolds him but nevertheless allows him to continue 🙃)

Connor and all three of his children really enjoy flapjacks (yes, flapjacks not pancakes)

I imagine that Connor and his family live in the manor and so the children each have their own rooms

They’re each responsible for the upkeep of said room once they are of age, and Connor teaches them the importance of cleanliness, in all aspects

He also teaches them respect, even to the animals who provide their food and fur/skins

When his children inevitably inquire about what it is Connor does since he wears those special robes, he decides to be completely upfront and honest with them, when they are old enough 

Prior to that, he tells them a watered-down version of the story, saying things like “I help others and make bad people go away” or even jokingly implying or outright stating that he belongs to a secret brotherhood who helps people and punishes those who misbehave 

(When the kids are younger, they eat his stories up, so fascinated and intrigued they are with whatever it is their dad does) 

I feel that Io:nhiòte is the most excitable of Connor’s kids; she’s still a polite, well-spoken girl but just a little more headstrong than her siblings 

I also feel that Connor’s son, which I believe is his second eldest child, is like him and has a very calm (almost more so than his father), even temperament 

He, again like his father, is soft-spoken and kind, and also very intelligent: he adapts and learns very quickly

Connor’s oldest, who I believe is his other daughter, is very confident and much like her mother

She is also well-mannered and independent, not liking to rely on others for much, if anything, one trait she did inherit from her dad

She takes pride in being the eldest, and always tries to lead and set a good example for her siblings 

Even with their similarities though, Connor still has had to learn to adapt his attitude and responses when engaging each of his children

He laughs at the thought, as coming to understand and subsequently better communicate with his kids reminds him of his early days of assassin training, the more mentally taxing work he had to put in

It also sometimes saddens him when he thinks about how his own father could never quite figure out how to do the same

But, all in all, Connor is just grateful that he can make a positive difference as it relates to his own relationship with his kids

Rapid Fire Round!

Connor and Io:nhiòte have their own secret language that they use when out training

(It’s mostly vocalizations and hand signals, not so much actual words)

Connor likes to have special little inside jokes with his kids, and they each have either a hand signal or handshake that is unique to them

Ratonhnhaké:ton isn’t usually one to cry at all, but he definitely sheds tears whenever any one of his kids reaches a milestone

(Like he might not outright sob but a few little diamonds surely make their way down his cheeks 😂)

When they’re little, Connor’s kids love to play in his hair (which I imagine he lets grow out a considerable amount once he’s settled down) and he’s more than happy to let them

Loves to make their birthdays celebrations for the whole of the Homestead and his wife’s village as well 

When he’s at home and the babies are…well babies, Connor oft volunteers to supervise his, Myriam/Norris and Warren/Prudence’s kid’s playdates 

I didn’t mention this in my general headcanons for Con-Con man but I actually believe he knows how to cook, and for this particular set of headcanons he does so pretty frequently for his kids, as they’re big fans of his cooking 

Connor loves to give his kids piggyback rides; his son and Io:nhiòte are particularly big fans 

When the children are little, Connor hums to them to help them sleep at night 

(His wife likes to tease him about how nice his voice is and Connor is always flustered at the compliment)

All-in-all, Connor is an excellent father, and is more than willing to give his kids the world 😁

[transpersian]

Deep Cover

(copied from my twitter thread)

Alright. I got my unhinged time. Back to being regulated and strategic.

Apologies for my manic state over the past couple of days. For the past 2.5 months, I leaned into my most subservient, self-hating, self-blaming state from my past to make her feel in control.

It broke me.

I’m not here to hash out my history of trauma, but let’s just say I’m used to being in survival mode. I let the part of me that still felt for her grow like a weed, trying to carefully prune it so it didn’t overtake everything else. I gave her that power with careful limits.

The guilt I felt was real; I don’t want to do this. I want her to stop. But until she does, it’s necessary.

Alongside my love, the dissonance of guilt led to many, many breakdowns. I have friends who sat with me for hours in those calls as I lamented what Poppy could have been.

Add the additional stress of my strained trust and relationships with friends, including a half dozen that cut ties completely.

Add the viciousness people constantly spit at me anonymously on Tumblr.

Add my whole-ass personal life, which is its own nightmare of complications.

This has been hard, especially because I didn’t expect it to last more than two weeks. Especially when Poppy genuinely started to trust me. Defend me against her friends. Against Zena.

She promised she wouldn’t abandon me again and she didn’t. That’s particularly potent w/ BPD.

I still handled things.

Part of me worried that if she offered to run away from all this with me, I would’ve been tempted. People would finally be safe from her and I’d be in the toxic relationship of my nightmares.

But my principles kept me true. My love for Hela kept me true.

To help keep those feelings in check, I’d regularly read back through the documentation I was still working on. Especially Spawn’s screenshots.

I’ve literally worked myself to tears dozens of times to keep focus on what I’m fighting for.

Was this healthy? Nah.

But it worked.

I don’t need everyone to agree with what I did, or how. I just hope everyone at least sees that it’s not something I just do casually. This was a dark art, learned from many years of surviving people like PZ. I had to break this shit out like John Wick’s buried stash.

I was deeply uncomfortable with how good I was at it. I started to feel bad about it a few weeks in. I used that guilt to feed into my facade. The lines began to blur more and more.

I wasn’t going to betray my people, but I started to lose it for a while. Actual derealization.

I did accomplish useful things in there, but I can’t share them for fear of endangering them. Just know that I’d do it all over again. It was worth it.

I have a wonderful support network. Beyond just trauma bonding, I love these people. I trust them with my life.

But that last push, that desperate series of attempts to get Poppy to accept even one tiny bit of responsibility… that broke me.

Her saying that my love for her wasn’t real unless I betrayed my friends? That hurt. Telling her that she’d destroyed me and her “I don’t care?” God.

I leaned into the crazy on that last conversation because, frankly, I wanted to. I wanted to let all of the rage and fury and madness that I’d felt over all of this out.

Not just what she’d done to me. Everyone. Dozens.

And it felt good, y’all. It felt good to get theatrical.

So when I finally came out of it… that energy carried over.

I became the crazy ex-girlfriend they said I was, just for a bit. My strikes were still pointed, but yeah, I dove into the vibe.

Sorry about that.

It’ll take time to heal properly, but I’ll be okay. Survived worse.

Point being, I just wanted to make a statement discussing my recent behavior. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t regret it.

I’ve been so controlled with my emotions about all of this for so long. Please forgive me this indulgence.

I went under right before people started finally listening. It was kind of intoxicating to say things publicly and finally get so much support and visibility.

But if I’m going to continue being a prominent voice in this whole debacle, I need to be better, and I will be.

I am.

So… back to work. Back to healing.

Thank you for trusting me. It means the world.

It’s so fucking good to be back. 💜

[that-ari-blogger]

The Boss Music Starts Playing, Part 2/2 (Mulan)

This is a continuation of my previous post (link), because the original was too long for a single thing. So, I cut it down.

This relates to the theme of self-image really nicely. Because self-image, by definition, is how a person sees themselves. But it would be foolish to assume that how a person is seen by others doesn’t fit into this.

Shang’s self-image is centred around leading people, for example. That’s why he and Chi-Fu foil off each other, because Chi-Fu’s idea of himself is built on being in power over people. They are similar, but it is the nuances that set them apart, and that are at the root of Chi-Fu’s unmeritedly complex characterisation.

Chi-Fu is misogynistic doofus, but he’s also more nuanced than that, and honestly, he is one of the more interesting side characters in this film. He is a hypocrite, staunchly defending what he sees as masculinity while exhibiting exactly zero of the traits he places value in. He places value in rank above all else, willing to criticise those above him when he views their actions as unwise, but still following orders even when in doubt.

A lot of his characterisation is exemplified in this single line:

“Be careful Captain. The general may be your father, but I am the emperor’s counsel.

And oh, by the way, I got that job on my own.”

Here, he’s an eejit who throws his weight around. He respects the rank of Shang but takes care to position himself higher than him out of sheer spite.

But he’s also kind of correct. Like, I hate the fact that I am agreeing with this guy, but he makes a good point about the general’s nepotism here.

However, Shi-Fu is an antagonist in this film, and I don’t want to understate why he fills that role. Shi-Fu is misogynistic, unwilling to be swayed by Mulan’s displays of heroism because��� well because she has boobs, and that disqualifies every point she can make. Again, he’s a misogynist.

Which brings me back to the thing about self-image and external perception, and I am going to bring back the non-binary reading. You can take the hormones, you can dress differently, you can do all kinds of things to make yourself feel more at home in your body. But all of those elements of self-image can be subverted by a single person misgendering you, or deadnaming you.

To those reading this who are not trans or non-binary, that is why we ask y’all to respect our pronouns. It’s not because we enjoy being contrarians (most of the time), it’s because referring to us in the way we see ourselves actually makes us feel better about ourselves. We’re asking you to help us in a way that objectively doesn’t cost you anything other than the effort to try.

Mulan’s feeling of self-worth comes from her sense of belonging in the army, the place where she can be one of the guys, and people respect her for that and accept her as that.

When that image is shattered, and she is left out in the snow to die or go home, it is a gut punch because that belonging lets her go.

This post was inspired by Cinema Therapy’s video on Mulan, and while I joked around in the introduction about accepting their challenge, I think their video was really good, and I wish no I’ll will towards them. But…

I think it was a missed opportunity to not talk about the scene in the valley, because it is an incredible demonstration of what honour and self-worth actually are. They are both influenced by others, yes, but in the end, they are both something you find for yourself.

Mulan could go home, she has saved her father, she has proven herself, she has achieved what she came for. But she chooses to go back to the army and be a part of that, she chooses to go back to the life that Ping let her lead. Like the trial of the arrow, this is for her.

Which leads me into the two “fight scenes”.

This is such well composed shot. Despite the utter lack of landmarks or even detail on most of the characters, you can see the scale and geography so clearly, and your eye is drawn to the stooges, then to the avalanche, then to Mulan and Shang sprinting away from it.

The three stooges carry this film, specifically in the matter of its tone. They set up the humorous, upbeat nature of the first half of the story with their antics and act as a benchmark for Mulan’s success in finding acceptance. Then they stop laughing to show the seriousness of the aftermath.

But here, the little spin that Lee’s helmet makes in the air serves to soften what would otherwise be a jarringly terrifying and gritty moment. They remind the audience what film they are watching and balance out the tone to distract from the visage of death behind them.

Anyway, Mulan’s actions in this battle and the final confrontation lean into a few readings.

First, the feminist reading. I haven’t mentioned this as much as I probably should have up to this point, but the reading is by no means any less valid or prominent as any other.

This is a feminist piece, with Mulan defeating the Hun army twice by going against the masculine stereotypes. She reclaims her agency through being a badass alongside the men, but not in the same way as them. In the finale, she uses her fan, symbolically the thing associated with womanhood in the early stage of the film, to defeat the villain. She demonstrates that she has equal ability and right to be anywhere as the dudes, and in the end, the whole of China bows to her.

I’m obviously not a woman, so I’m not exactly the expert on this, but I can point out the obvious story beats, and I can step aside for people with a more nuanced understanding of this reading to let their presence be known.

Second, the trans reading, specifically a trans masculine reading. Once again, I am not trans, I am non-binary, so I’m going to give my understanding of this read from my limited perspective, and step aside again.

So, Mulan defeats Shan-Yu twice using the things she has learned as a soldier, sword fighting and cannons. These are parts of the identity that she has built for herself as a man, and her proficiency with them shows her expertise in the field of masculinity that she lacked in area of femininity, as demonstrated by the opening number.

When I ran a draft of this post by a trans friend of mine to make sure I wasn’t being inaccurate, he asked me to point out the fact that Mulan ends up with a scar in a similar place to those left by top surgery. So, there’s that.

Finally, there is the non-binary reading of these scenes, which is where I get to go crazy with my own theories.

Mulan defeats Shan-Yu by thinking tactically, a trait not associated with either masculinity or femininity in this setting. Then, she uses both the fan and the sword, walking in both fields to accomplishing her goal, as if the concept of gender is irrelevant to her. She is neither man or woman, and both. Her gender identity cannot be defined so easily.

When Mulan is cast out from the army, that choice of whether to go back to being Mulan or try again at being Ping comes up, and her choice is a mix of the two.

“You said you’d trust Ping, why is Mulan any different?”

Mulan is Mulan, she isn’t trying to be Ping anymore, she’s trying to be herself. Now, she’s attempting to call on the clout and experience that that persona gave her, while distancing herself slightly from it.

Essentially, she isn’t entirely a guy, but she has some of the traits that are socially attributed to guys, and she is at home in the place that she carved out for herself. She is who she is, she cannot be classified. She is Mulan.

I love that the three stooges get to dress in drag for this moment, and I too lament the fact that Shang didn’t. But I also want to point out that, for all of modern media’s advances, this is the closest I have seen to a real fight sequence with characters dressed in drag. Come on Hollywood, you have the chance for the most epic sword fight ever shown, and you don't take it. Do it, you cowards.

That moment actually symbolises the breaking down of gender roles completely. Mulan walks between genders, and now these guys are free to exhibit their own masculimity in whatever way they see fit.

The moment is then played for comedy in a really cool way. It isn’t played as absurd at all. The comedy comes partly from the line “ugly concubines”, but also through the reverse of Mulan’s first scene as a dude.

The three stooges are comically really capable at pretending to be women and take to it ridiculously quickly. That is then contrasted with the fact that they don’t drop the disguises when they return to the actions they associate with masculinity, beating up people with excessive force, and even greet the emperor without changing. The stooges are confident enough in themselves and their gender that they can present this way without getting confused, and without stepping into Mulan’s theming as non-binary or trans or whatever your reading of her is.

Unconditionally, the best part of this sequence is the music, bringing back Make A Man Out of You, specifically the final chorus (also the reveal of the drag is timed to the beat of the song, which is such a cool little detail). Everything I said about the unity of people working together with different strengths and weaknesses comes back. And the lyrics pair with the different forms of gender expression going on onscreen.

“Be a man.

We must be swift as a coursing river.

Be a man.

With all the force of a great typhoon.

Be a man.

With all the strength of a raging fire.

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon"

Shang’s hypermasculine soldier, the three stooges and their varying levels of manliness through their drag, and Mulan, all working together to succeed. Dressing in drag, being a general, being trans or non-binary, are all displaying the qualities of the song. Swift of mind, force of hope, strength of competence, mystery of individuality and interiority.

The actions reference the scene with the arrow in more ways than just the one, because this isn’t exactly the final chorus, it’s the chorus in which Mulan gets the arrow. The backing music was still there in that one, and it’s still there now. The main difference is that when we heard this first, Shang’s voice was leading the chant, but now he is either not there, or has joined the herd.

Catharsis.

Speaking of which, the scene where the emperor honours Mulan is nice and all, but it is secondary to the film’s final moments, and Mulan’s reconciliation with her father.

The gifts sit in the foreground here, but also in the shadows that Zhou has to move out of to get to his daughter. They are a reminder of what Zhou is stepping away from to hug Mulan.

This is acceptance on a familial level. Mulan is happy with herself, and she has found belonging in the army. Now she returns to her father, and offers him the gifts from the emperor, but Zhou discards them like they are nothing, because to him, that’s what they are.

This scene takes place in the same location as their conversation at the start of the film.

“What beautiful blossoms we have this year, but look, this one’s late. But I’ll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.”

Zhou isn’t perfect, but I’ll challenge you to find a human being who isn’t, besides Oscar Isaac of course. However, he goes through substantial character development in the film behind the scenes in a way that is directly related to the events of the story.

At the start of the film, Zhou values his family, but instinctively his need for honour takes precedent. He will offer advice, and demonstrate his desire for his daughter to find herself in time, but he will undercut himself by his willingness to die for honour and for the hierarchy.

Then he loses his daughter, and he is told to make a choi

ce. He can get his honour back and expose his daughter, or he can stay behind. One will guarantee a reward, the other is a gamble, and without hesitation, he choses the risky option, because there is a chance his daughter will live.

He then has time to reflect over the course of the movie, that’s the development behind the scenes that I mentioned. So, when Mulan returns, and he sees the adult she has grown into, honour doesn’t enter the picture for him, and he accepts her for everything that she is.

Zhou isn’t perfect, but in the end, he is a good dad, and he improves as a person because of that. That’s what matters.

So, Mulan is a story about gender. Either from a feminine lens, a masculine lens, a trans reading, or a non-binary one, this film discusses gender, and how it relates to self-image and self-acceptance. The film talks about honour, and what that truly means, and it deconstructs the form of the musical itself to achieve it's points.

In other words, the writers during the Disney Renaissance were bloody good at their jobs, who knew?

I love that the cricket is doing a Batman impression too. That's just golden.

Final Thoughts

Mulan is my movie. Not the sequel or the reboot, the 1998 original. Mulan is my movie.

It is a story about identity, and as a non-binary individual, this film shaped how I saw myself, and how I related to the world around me. It is also the direct cause of my obsession with cinematography. Mulan is my movie.

To the folks at Cinema Therapy, if by some miracle you read this, thanks. Your video was great, but it also inspired me to write this, something I am very proud of and something that helped me to articulate a few things that I have been struggling with. So, thanks for that.

Y’all stepped on my turf, walked into the labyrinth, and now the minotaur bows its head to you.

To everyone else, hello. I’m Ari, I make media analysis, so stick around if that interests you. Usually I don’t post things on Sundays, but I have a few things lined up, maybe keep an eye out for those.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this (checks wordcount) 5000 WORD ESSAY. Dear Lord, this got long, and I haven't even mentioned the old married couple that is Mushu and the cricket, or their relationships with identity and gender. That might have to be a different post.

Thank you for sticking around.

[unquietspiritao3]

follow-up on the Noel rumors

putting this under a cut bc i’m sure most of y’all don’t care but i did say i was going to do more digging into the rumors that Noel dated Pixie Geldof when she was 16 and i’ve found enough that i think it’s worth sharing? i’d say it’s all in Noel’s favor.

there are several quotes floating around of Noel denying this, but a couple seem to be missing context, so i wanted to share an excerpt from this article (can’t find the original source so you’ll have to scroll down a bit to find it) that i think gives the most complete version of his side of the story (from what i’ve gathered):

In tabloid world, Fielding is the new R*ssell Br*nd, more rock 'n' roll than most real rock stars; often photographed, or 'spotted', on the arm of this or that rock chick (Courtney Love, Kimberly Stewart, Pixie and Peaches Geldof). His life has been turned upside down. 

'These last two years have been the best of my life and also the worst. It's a nightmare at times. It's like, getting chatted up 1,000 times a year. Just weird. You know when a girl fancies you, or when you've got a chance with a girl, and to have that from so many girls, for not doing anything specific, so regularly - it's a bit of a head-f***k. Nothing really prepares you for that. And you wouldn't believe how blatant they are! I was never that blatant when I was their age.'

He has a girlfriend, too - the vocalist in the band Robots in Disguise, who goes by the stage-name Dee Plume. They've been a couple for 'about four years' and live together in Kentish Town. 

Poor old Dee, then. 'Yeah. I'd hate it .You have to be very careful. I'm not whiter than white, and if you're going to go out and get drunk and party, and get offered all these things, you have to make sure the boundaries don't get blurred. You have to be careful that you don't stop working, or hurt the people you love. 

'Dee calls me The Little Prince because I get everything I want, and it's a joke, but there's an element of truth to it. It's like it's my birthday every single day. All these people saying, 'Do you want drugs? Do you want girls?, Do you want drink?' Then there are all these famous people, and you think: oh that's quite interesting, I wonder what they're like, and you hang out with them. You know, you just want to have a look. The problem is, once you get famous too, and if you're quite naive like me, you don't realise that if you hang out with someone, and you're a boy and they're a girl, that's it. That's enough.' 

One story had Fielding and Love trashing a hotel room 'like wild animals'. 'Amazing! She smoked a couple of cigarettes and we had a cup of peppermint tea. I mean, that's what happened. We had tea.'

important note: he also, in this same interview, uses the word ‘raped’ in a very cavalier way, which is gross and i’m not going to defend it. it was wrong then and it’s wrong now and i hope he’s stopped doing that. it also doesn’t mean he’s an actual sexual predator. not thinking enough about your word choice (especially at a time when tons of people would have no problem using the same word in the same way so you might have never even questioned it—i mean, he said it and it got published in an article that takes a very positive view of him, without comment from the writer; this was the culture at the time, it was very fucked up) is obviously not the same as committing physical assault.

now for pixie’s side. i still cannot find a specific denial, but when she released an album in 2016 (which is really good btw; i hope James has given it a listen) she did do some interviews where she gave blanket-denials to everything the tabloids wrote about her when she was younger:

“When you’re trying to build who you are as a person and the Daily Mail are telling you you’re something else, it’s quite… odd. At a point it gets to you, when you realise you’re walking into adulthood being seen as a person who really doesn’t exist.”

How was she seen? “As a crazy party girl. This mad wild child. They made it sound like I was doing something wrong.”

and

“There was a vibe that the press got into their minds – something to do with the image of me and my sister, turning us into these wild children,” she says. “It’s hard to live a life when people are telling you what and who you are. I’m very lucky in that I don’t particularly care.”

finally, i found a few forum posts on a celebrity gossip site, so HUGE grain of salt with these, but the posters (looks like two separate people but one posted under a few different accounts because they accidentally revealed who they were) sound credible to me?

source

source

source

i also looked for things to confirm the rumor, btw, and i couldn’t find anything other than the tabloids and people repeating what the tabloids said.

and that’s all i’ve got for now. again, make of it what you will, i totally respect differences of opinion, etc. etc.

[clanoffelidae]

Popping back on to check like I said I would. If anyone else wants to keep in touch at all for the next while shoot me a message and I’ll be back in a couple days and can give you my discord. (This really is an open offer to anyone I swear lol, not a ‘MUTUALS ONLY’ deal or whatnot lol) I know I probably should’ve waited until later in the day but it was hanging over me so here I am.

I’ll try and write up that larger post I said I would while I’m gone these few days so I can leave that as my new pinned while I’m out for however long I’ll be gone after that.

If you see me online in a couple hours it’s just because I started working on the larger post earlier so it’s in my drafts and since I’m on mobile right now I can’t copy it easily, so I’ll just be grabbing it while I’m on my laptop at some point later is all.

I’ve said it 50 times now but I’ve slept and eaten and surprise, still hurts, so I’m saying it again:

Don’t take a stranger’s nonspecific posts and immediately use them to accuse them of things when you haven’t even tried to talk to them about it. You don’t know that person. Not only might you be flat out wrong, you can also quite easily take someone’s moment of vulnerability and use it as a weapon against them, as it turns out. Even if you didn’t intend to, it’s about what you did.

No, I don’t think the people who did it are abject, horrid monsters just looking for their next victim. I don’t think it was intentional at all. And I’m not going to malign them as having done it intentionally or claim they’re horrible and no one should ever talk to them again, they’re not, I truly believe they have overall good intentions and are trying to do good in the world. I really and truly wish them all the best with their project because it’s charity work and there’s little more noble than that. When they decide the charity I’ll pop in to toss a few preorders worth of money to the charity so I can support the cause like I wanted to in the first place. If you know what I’m talking about then please, don’t let my experience with the organizers/possibly other contributors stop you from supporting the cause they’re working towards. It’s not going to stop me, and between you (whoever is reading this and knows what this whole thing is about) and me I have the more reason to considering, so don’t let it stop you either.

But to use a different you, if you’re reading this, be you the ones who accused me or the one(s) who reported my posts to them, were thoughtless. You didn’t even try to communicate about it. You just decided your version of the truth and went with it. You were thoughtless, and that made you cruel.

You not only accused me of things it turned out I didn’t do, you took a moment of vulnerability and used it to insult and belittle me. Even if you didn’t intend to, even if you thought you had it right and were doing the right thing; it’s still what you did, and you were wrong.

Just like the things we discussed and I agreed with once I was sure I had what you were saying right, I did not intend to do those things but they’re what I did, and I accept that and am sorry for it. Just because something wasn’t intentional doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, that’s the funny thing about accidents and mistakes.

Don’t do that to someone else. It’s too late for me, but don’t jump to conclusions next time. Talk to people. Communicate. If they bite then defend yourselves; but don’t treat them like rabid animals when they’ve not once attacked you directly, tried to insult you, or even said a single negative thing about you.

I’ll be back in a few days to respond to any messages for those who want to keep up. I’ll schedule this to reblog once tomorrow and once on Monday to try and make sure anyone who wants to shoot me a message sees it. Take care y’all, this is between me and a handful of specific people, I’ve got absolutely no qualms with the rest of you nerds (affectionate) and promise I don’t bite. (<— she’s lying she has rabie-*GUNSHOT* <— haha ignore that I’ve no idea what was going on there haha what silly thing to say anyway come closer)

[the-one-eyed-seer]

As an intersex individual I want to expand on the issues I have with how the terms work in current discussion.

1) I believe that there is an overlap between transmisogyny and intersexism. This does not change what I’m about to say at all whatsoever, it’s just worth acknowledging that.

2) people can’t stop making assumptions about what people’s bodies are in relation to what their experience is and they can and have bullied intersex people over not fitting neatly into terms which, maybe don’t inherently exclude us, but weren’t really made for us either. I’ve seen people defend this rather snarkily as “oh isn’t that a shame that people just assume things about you”, but like. It still cuts out intersex people from the conversation because y’all are not, in practice, making room for them. I’ve literally seen intersex people bullied off the site and/or out of discourse.

The actual problem people are having is the limitations of the framework these words are built around (not transmisogyny, but the intersexist and exorsexist biases the greater community refuses to unpack).

There’s a greater issue here of intersex people, because they don’t fit default settings, being ostracized for using terms “unconventionally”.

3) This is also an issue with as multigender and nonbinary people being ostracized for trying to describe their relationship with exorsexism in this discourse. Which, for context, even though some people do recognize the utility for intersex people to use unconventional description, they are still sometimes exorsexist, which defeats the point, because if you accept intersex people but not nonbinary or multigender people, then you are essentially demanding a lot of medical information you are not entitled to in order to justify the way that a person just like.. exists. And as much as there are terms we gatekeep, the basic aspects of the identity are not. People are free to be altersex or salmacian for example, it’s literally just the specifics of intersex experience that we don’t want them to claim ownership of if they don’t have it. This also applies to intersex people who don’t share certain experiences with other kinds of intersex people because we’re not a monolith. So the argument that they’re taking things away from us does not make sense.

4) this is not something I can talk about whole lot about except as a Jewish person with a cultural gender, but white people frequently dont leave room for people of color or those with cultural genders to place themselves in this discourse in a way that makes sense for them.

Essentially, the framework existing is far less of a problem than not considering that people of color and intersex people have a different relationship to it than we do, as well as people just forgetting that exorsexism is an entire axis of oppression by itself. Changing the terms for the 50th time won’t fix this issue, and continuing to use them exactly the same obviously won’t either, because the root of it is how these groups are treated by the community.

whats your opinion on the terms TMA and TME?

I've clearly been too reluctant about clearly stating my views on transfeminist topics on this website. I'd say that's a failure on my part, so let's talk about these terms, which I think are Good, Actually.

They're extremely useful for their intended purpose, and I think most criticisms of them are ignoring their purpose as a tool for analysing transmisogyny. They're not identity labels, they're descriptive terms to explain where people are located on an axis of oppression. They do not claim to describe every form of oppression an individual may be subject to, but the specific form of oppression that is transmisogyny. It's an important form of oppression to examine because it has material consequences for, you know, transmisogyny affected people.

It's at best annoying to feel a need to walk on eggshells about the terms. Nuances and edge cases exist in every social dynamic, and every theoretical work needs to be constructed from a starting point that boils it down to a manageable level of detail first. TMA/TME terminology gets extreme amounts of backlash for a perceived lack of nuance which you can easily ascribe to essentially any useful system of categories, and it's clear that the main reason for this is the subject matter.

It's very clear that anyone on this website who dares to talk about transmisogyny is subject to backlash, so I don't blame the women who choose to go for the hardline stance on it. Being nice about transmisogyny generally seems to illicit the same backlash as any work on transmisogyny, i.e. more transmisogyny.

[stargirlfeyre]

User lorcandidlucienwill (he won’t) was the public humiliation the first time not enough for you or something? I don’t know why you insist on keep doing this with me.

When you block someone because you’re too much of a pussy to address your racism isn’t it the norm to just move on and not check their account? But you’re continuing to do it because you’re a coward who doesn’t like to stand on business.

It’s very fun that you’re watering down what you did and trying to make it seem like I’m just weaponizing racism when you have had it explained to you multiple times that the reason you are perceived as a racist is because you used black oppression to prove your point and then used derogatory terms to black people when they tried to tell you to not use their experiences for fictional characters. You are the epitome of disgusting ignorance and you’re not even worth the shit Tamlin spends his time lying in.

A racist is asking me why I’m bringing their racism up in a conversation…a racist is asking me why I’m bringing their racism up in a conversation…a RACIST is asking me why I’m bringing their RACISM up in a conversation. Do y’all understand how crazy that sounds. It’s almost as crazy as you obviously not taking antiblackness (or racism in general) seriously that you’re trying to use it as a gotcha moment to cover your own ass. “I don’t like being called out for using a derogatory term so I’m going to say you’re a racist because of what your anon said”. Did my read hit you that bad? Did it fuck up your psyche that much because it seems like it did.

And onto the most disgusting part of this response. Bitch are you stupid. Like genuinely are you a fucking idiot? You are sitting here and trying to use Zionism as a gotcha moment against someone? You’re sitting here trying to come at me for defending characters written by a zionist when quick question whose names are in your user? Lucien and Lorcan right? Two loved characters of Sjm? But you somehow think you’re “daddy’s special girl” because you’ve convinced yourself that the characters you like are hated by the author? Bitch the call is coming from inside the house. How dare you sit here and try to use Zionism to further your argument while playing hypocrite?

How dare you sit here and accuse me of supporting a genocide because you can’t handle that you were proven wrong? How dare you use the death, rape, and mass murder of innocent people to prove your point and throw out a claim as disgusting as this? You like Sjm characters also. You constantly talk about her books also. You have an account dedicated to her. So what convinced that empty fucking head that you were different?

And you know part of me did kind of feel bad for talking shit about your work but ignorant people like you don’t deserve sympathy. Heres just a little about how people have been tearing apart your writing in the last few days enjoy:

[alenightshade]

Well he did call it an excuse tho, those were his actual words in the video. I don’t think it was necessarily an attack but it was called an excuse which really isn’t true

I just think that people are latching on that word. He said “para mi es un problema pero no una excusa”. Yes it was harsh and not necessary since Yuzu had given his reasons but he obviously was making an assumption from his own perspective. He also added afterwards that it was truly a shame but that’s what he thought regarding the mistake. You also have to understand that he’s probably explaining all this to complete newbies of the sport and trying to put forward the technical side since, you know, he’s trying to sell the sport to a whole country (even though WE have seen the photos of the hole). Moreover we lack more information on why he was explaining all of this, or if the “excuse” came firstly from the question he answered or even if he used the word cause everyone who is not reading interviews already thinks that. In general we need more context.

Also Spanish people tend to sound crass specially in comparison to the rest of Spanish speakers, much more so than Latinamericans. We are widely known to minimise anything that sounds negative and not being straightforward with our words as to not offend (ask any Mexican from the North and they’ll tell you how frustrating it is for them to deal with that) which makes things worse since Latinamerica is such a big place and most of us native speakers come from there so culturally the video sounds bad. Going out there giving another version than that of who experienced is not a great move specially cause they know each other, on that I agree

That people feel hurt cause they want Javi to be Yuzu’s cheerleader or always say good things is understandable but going as far as saying this is a betrayal and how poor of a friend he is, that’s something else entirely. And again it’s not like Javi is attacking Yuzu, it’s just a point of view that probably a lot of people asked for (even if we know he’s incorrect). We have really no idea what their relationship is like and it’s not our business either tbh. They are both adults and whether Yuzuru takes offence or not, I’m pretty sure they can handle it without any of our opinions

Sorry this is a long comment, it’s just I’m so tired of cancel culture, mistranslations, out of context, over-reactions, parasocial relationships, etc. that spread like wildfire on anything. Go focus your anger on the monster that Eteri is or the fucking latinamerican commentator who was talking about “female body types” during the event and minimising Asians instead of a man who has never been great at choosing his words who could very well be talking with Yuzuru about the OGs right now 🤷‍♀️