#it’s 4am my brain hurts
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I’m lowkey kinda stuck, I’m nearly finished my canon run of dai with my inquisitors class as a mage and I like her as a mage but likeeeee I kinda like her better as a rogue idk what to dooooo
#I just wanna start drawing her more so I need to actually lock in a class bruh#i hate being indecisive#she’s been a mage in my canon since I made her but I’ve played her as a rogue more than a mage#and she has slightly more lore as a rogue hmmm#it’s 4am my brain hurts#dragon age#dai
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The thing that always confuses me about LnDS is how tf Zayne is a famous Cardio Surgery specialist with an emphasis in rare genetic and Evol disorders, but also functions as a regular primary care physician for MC, since most specialists still refer you to your own family practitioner for your non specialty related needs like for a cold or regular injury.
Which means either in the LnDS world Doctors are just super busy and double up on a lot of work (which could be the answer, as drs could be in short supply with wanderer attacks and metaflux accidents happening often), or Zayne is just very very loose with MC and will see her for pretty much whatever she needs seen for so she doesn't go to another Dr which is honestly kind of adorable in a try not to look too closely kinda way lol
#just 4am thoughts with Kay#trying to make the medical field of a fictional work make sense is hurting my brain#time for bed i guess#love and deepspace#lnds#lads#l&ds#zayne#love & deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#kay's thoughts
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truly cannot wait til im medicated again jesus christ
#txt#i am having so much trouble focusing and keeping myself in One activity#everythings so HARD for no reason my head hurts bc i keep forcing myself to focus and THAT makes my migraines come in kicking#i feel so tired i couldnt fall asleep til 4am ln bc my brain would NOT SHUT THE FUCK UPPP#swear to god every 30 minutes i have to literally slap myself around a lil to Reset its so fucking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH
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Not me being randomly sad at 4am thinking about Jacob having a panic attack due to his traumas and Eric not knowing how to react 🤡👍
#it’s sad but like ????#Eric would be totally panicked and would not know what to do#like it hurts him to see Jacob like that but he ?!? ARGHGH#sorry it’s 4am and my brain is rotting#and sad#jacob seed#oc: eric nightsun
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Just dawned on me that i am a homeschool dropout and that this is kind of a fundamentally hilarious combination of words to be
#jay talkin#diversity loss local man can't sleep cuz hes just angry and upset abt the state of so many things#and he cant get his brain to shut off or shut down or shhh for five mins#to be able to start to rest AND. to make matters worse. he wrenched his shoulder bad today#and now it hurts ow ow ow ow ow ow#anyway i started flunking maths when i was a teen and then shortly after we gave up on#all formal education so i have a 16yr olds education at best hachacha cha aint that a fun fact#i never did solve those first long division books. ah well.#need 2 just like....manifest images of nathan explosion in my head 2 help me calm down. help me nathan explosion. hep#its 4am please let me sleep im so tired haha
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so tumblr just recommend a terf post to me, supposedly ‘based on my likes!’…. tumblr please tell me what the hell I liked, so I can unfucking like it.
Anyways while we’re here, a reminder, transphobes/terfs/radfems you are not welcome on my blog please fuck off
#tw transphobes#tw transphobia#taking a moment to rant in the tags because look#look#i KNOW you should just block and move on and that looking at the person’s blog will only make you made for no reason#….but this one was particularly fucking stupid and infuriating so now here we are#like sometimes people’s bios are just wild#like bro how the fuck can you be asexual and autistic and physically disabled and then still say shit like ‘trans people are mentally ill’#like are you fucking kidding me#and to specifically ask people to please be patient when talking to you because you’re autistic#but then have a whole blog dedicated to hateful gross bullshit ???#and to shit on people when they’re like hey that’s not correct ???#also how the fuck can the first line of your pinned post be ‘idc what pronouns you use for me but I’m female’ ??#what the fuck#also guys according to the terfs if you identify with the term queer you’re actually straight#and the only people who use the term are fem afabs who exclusively date masc amabs and want to feel special so some shit#fuck it’s 4am I’m too tired for this shit it’s making my brain hurt#anyway if you’re trans you’re welcome on this blog if you identify as queer you are welcome on this blog#if you ever see me reblog something were you know op is actually a terf lmk so I can delete and block them#this is probably riddled with spelling errors and typos but I’m tired and idc right now
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"why are you awake Cass?" good fucking queston.
#its 4am again and my brain just said wake up!!!!!#i do not know why i am awake#considering the amount of sleep i got last night#my throat hurts SO BAD
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#thinking about those posts earlier#about kindness and boundaries#i hope i can the proper balance between helping others and helping myself#cause i KNOW you cant pour from an empty cup#and you should always put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others#but gdi it's hard to not want to help#idk if its because of how i was brought up or if thats just who i am. or both.#but it hurts when i can't offer the needed supports#i hate seeing people hurting. friends. family. strangers.#doesn't matter.#but i need to find a way to step back and acknowledge that i can't fix everything for everyone else#its hard to do when you live in a house with a family dynamic like mine#because not helping makes me feel guilty but attempting to help only leaves me tired and frustrated#and with less time and energy to take care of my own needs#idk idk#its 4am#im tired but my brain is wired#as usual#i feel helpless and unhelpful#part of me wants to say i feel hopeless too but i refuse to let myself fall into the particular pit of despair#uggghhhh ok enough tag rambling its time for bed whether my head wants it or not#☉#tbd#fox rambles
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hopping around different blogs is fun.
a post on blog 1: i find it a little weird that -- don't get me wrong, the barbie movie looks great with all the doll-like details, i bet the actors had great fun and i'd like to see it myself, but -- people are getting excited about marketing of this movie. they're acting as though mattel's 3985* deals with 837* different companies are something new, exciting and creative instead of... 3985 deals with 837 companies spanning many different areas! this movie is a commercial for a doll! isn't this kinda weird?
*numbers made up
a post on blog 2: i don't think any sane adult doesn't realize that this is a toy commercial! it's rather obvious.
a post on blog 3: boo hoo 'the barbie movie is capitalist propaganda' i don't give a SHIT marx won't fuck you. did you do this for transformers too? do you think only stupid girls who like pink need the reminder?
like, oooooh! things are happening!
#shrimp thoughts#earlier today i got into a bit of an essay reading spree (as much as my brain allowed me lol)#and it got me thinking about like... associating oneself with products/aesthetics/companies as a way of self-creation#this is me. i love [fashion brand] you won't catch me without my k*nken and here is my room in which you can see posters of [movies]#it's very... human to get excited about things and feel it more the more others get excited because. community building#at the same time i've noticed it myself that it's so much easier to label yourself a [thing] girl than to like... Look Into Yourself#who am i? what defines me? these questions are difficult because how do i know that? with what means do i obtain this knowledge?#should i create myself as i want or should i observe myself with the eyes of others instead? ...let me just say i like plants and overalls#and i feel like when someone says something you perceive as a critique of the identity slash community you associate yourself with#it's... hurtful? but at the same time. hm. i don't know actually#like chances are these posts are talking about completely different things and not vaguing each other or even similar posts#maybe posts that blog 3 vagues really were obnoxiously condescending! who knows! that being said DESPITE being a small-brained#shrimp who would honestly love to win soooo many moneys and just do whatever i want all day instead of being an Independant and Competent#Expert In My Field (this sounds scary and stressing). i still would like to avoid falling into the 'just let me ENJOY things and don't try#to make me hate femininity because it's not working! pink and shopping can be empowering' hole.#idk!! i listen to k/pop and am part magpie. i can't quite pose myself as like anti-capitalist intellectual#but i do want to achieve at least a small brain! someday!! and boy do i hope my brain energy days don't end before the books arrive;;#2am thoughts. wonder if my mother goes to sleep earlier than at 4am today because its getting annoying
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So I've had this weird nerve pain in the back of my mouth for the past few years (yeah, I know) in the gumline just around the very back teeth on the right side of my face, near the wisdom-tooth line. Every time I go to the dentist and they have to clean those areas of my mouth, the pain shoots up the right side of my tongue and is very painful and sensitive. Recently it's gotten a lot worse, I think the pain is increasing, and it shoots through my tongue every time I swallow. I'm not sure how to explain it to a doctor, because I've tried telling my dentists and they always just brush it off. Plus, the costs of any treatments is just. It's a lot right now.
#man idk#mouth hurty#i put some numbing agent on the area and it burned like a mf#the fact i've had this issue for years#and my dentist has never asked me more questions#or offered any advice on it#it just hurts a lot#it's 4am my brain isn't totally on rn#which is why this is written Like That
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I'm literally in agony in every sense of the word
#long story short-#fucked up back years ago#fucked up back worse 6 months ago#FUCKED UP back 1 week ago#have been in ERs and to specialists#given narcotics and muscle relaxers and other meds#couldn't take my happy brain pills because of it#brain is coo coo electric#body fucking hurts#and other various meds have made it so i cannot sleep like a normal human and it's almost 4am and I'm wide the fuck awake#i guess that wasn't short oh well#scuttle-buttle#personal
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JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT HIS NAME IS MY NAME TOO WHEN EVER WE GO OUT PEOPLE ALWAYS SHOUT JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT
#i speakin#this song is causing me pain#i couldn’t sleep bc i had it stuck in my head and i fell asleep finally at like 4am#but then i woke up at 7 bc my stomach hurt and then i couldn’t fall back to sleep bc it was stuck in my head AGAIN#i’ve never had a song lodged so firmly in my brain before i’m living a nightmare#this is all jerma’s fault too btw
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unfortunately my last reblog has reawakened the thirst for ANGST. for whump. frothing at the MOUTH that it is too late at night for me to start anything.
for the record if any of y’all ever have Thoughts That Would Induce Suffering about any DA character you have carte blanche to send them my way. is it about canon characters? is it about your ocs? please share. i need it to hurt so good at all times.
#ari speaks#recent fenrismancing escapades have had me wanting to draw some shit with fenris and jelani#one of them getting hurt but also because they keep being in a state of not-relationship neither is sure if they should reach out#or at what point help crosses into hurting more#my brain is WIRED for it but if i start now i'll be up until 4am and i have work.#WAHHH.
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In an absolutely cartoon turn of events, my night has come full circle
#I could NOT sleep due to just Brain cannibalism#could not get out of the brain cycle#got up at 3:30am to get my stuff to sh#accidentally kicked a wood saw I left on the ground like a dumbass#cue POOLS of blood on the floor before even realized I’ve been injured#my primary impulse for sh being I need to see blood to process that I’m ’hurting’#I get all my sh stuff and go upstairs and….oh wait actually I’m fine#I saw enough blood#no impulse anymore#foot doesn’t even hurt#got it all bandaged up and can’t even feel it#lost about a half a cup of blood on my downstairs floor tho lol#delete later#4am rant to delete later when I have more awareness#sh trigger#sh tw#just in case someone comes across this before I delete
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five minutes | l.m.h
pairing... bf!minho x gn!reader tags... established relationship, domestic fluffy, excessive references to soondoongdori, minho is a cat personified, soft mimo!
operation put your boyfriend to sleep in five minutes is a go.
wc... 1.4k words a/n... ah, yet another domestic fluff fic featuring softy minho. a star specialty! sorry guys this is kinda my fav thing to write ever r u sick of me 😁 anywayz this was inspired by this soft thought and this tiktok like i saw it and immediately thought : lee minho.
ALSO ALSO! HUGE THANK YOU FOR 1K FOLLOWERS! i never would've thought i'd reach this milestone and words couldnt express how incredibly grateful i am for each and every one of you who read and enjoy my works <3 i love you guys thank you so much!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Minho turned the doorknob and pushed the front door open, greeting Soonie who stood by the entrance with a tilted head. Shutting the door, he hung his bag on the coat rack and bent down to pet his beloved cat’s chin.
“Hi, baby,” the cat nuzzled his head into Minho’s palm and circled around his arm, “where are your brothers, hm?”
Meow… Soonie walked off to the living room as if to answer Minho’s question. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he followed his cat toward the faint nose of your favorite series playing on the TV.
When he entered the room, Minho saw your figure strewn lazily across the couch. Dori was cuddled up against your chest and Soonie hopped up to join Doongie by your feet. His heart warmed at the sight of his loves all huddled together.
“Honey, I’m home,” Minho grabbed your attention with his gentle, sing-song tone, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.
You switched your attention from the screen in front of you to the man standing in the doorway, returning his smile and giving a small wave. “Hi, my love. How was your day?”
Minho padded over to you, scooped Dori up against his chest, and settled himself where the cat had previously taken solace in your arms.
“It was alright,” he said, scooching backward to press his back firm against your front. “Tiring, as usual, but it's fine.”
Though he couldn't see it, you nodded in acknowledgment and pressed a soft kiss to his head. You brought one hand up behind his ear to scratch at his scalp, something you had found he enjoyed.
“Do you want to go to bed already? It is pretty late.” From its place above the TV, the clock read 10:37 PM. “Maybe we should move our little cuddle session to the bedroom.”
Minho sighed and shook his head. “But, I'm already so comfy here. Plus, you wouldn't dare disturb the cats, would you?”
“Please, remember the last time we slept on the couch the whole night? I don’t think we want that happening again.”
“Y/n,” Minho called your name, dragging out the last syllable. “My back hurts so much! Remind me why we stayed on the couch again.”
“I told you we should have moved to the bed! But you wouldn’t listen to me,” you snickered at your boyfriend from the kitchen while you continued to whisk a couple of eggs for your breakfast.
You set the bowl down on the counter and walked over to Minho who was still lying on the couch. When you came into his sight, he made a show of stretching his arms and legs, akin to a cat, accompanied by a few exaggerated groans.
“I don’t think I can get up at all today. I should just call in sick,” Minho draped an arm over his face, letting the other fall limp over the edge of the cushion.
“Don’t you have an important meeting today? I doubt your boss would appreciate you missing that on account of an 'ouchy' back.”
“Well, maybe if you gave me more cuddles, I’d feel a bit better.” Minho peeked at you from under his arm, proposing this cute, yet slightly impractical, solution. “Unless you want me to miss work and stay at home with you today.”
“Alright, you big baby.” Rolling your eyes, you moved to straddle Minho’s lap, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Now chest to chest, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting the other one snake up his neck to play with the hairs at his nape.
The time you spent wrapped in each other’s warmth turned from seconds to minutes, the comfortable silence lulling you back to sleep. Minutes turned to hours, leaving Minho’s meeting unattended and the scrambled eggs forgotten on the kitchen counter.
“Ugh, at least give me five more minutes,” Minho offered as he continued to stroke Dori’s back, drawing a vibrating purr from the cat. “I don’t wanna get up yet.”
“Oh, come on, you have to brush your teeth anyways. Now get your lazy bum off the couch so we can cuddle on the bed.” You grabbed the throw pillow from behind your back and swung it at Minho’s side, accidentally startling Dori in the process. The cat jumped out of the man’s arms, causing him to throw a frown over his shoulder.
“Now look what you did! You’re scaring our babies.” Finally, Minho stood up, offering you his hand to pull you up as well. You met his hand with your own and anchored yourself up, giving him a sheepish smile.
“Oops.” You shrugged and skipped off to the bedroom, leaving your boyfriend with your three cats in the living room.
“Unbelievable.” Minho took a few steps towards the bathroom, paused, and turned back to look at his cats. “Well, are you coming with me or not?”
While your boyfriend finished his night routine, you lay on your shared bed and grinned to yourself. Operation Put Your Boyfriend to Sleep in Five Minutes was a go. You knew Minho was tired, and you wanted to send him off into a good night’s sleep in the most loving way you could.
The hallway light switched off as Minho opened the door to your bedroom, sporting a playful frown. It was time for Step One: Put him in a blanket.
“Come here, baby,” you peeled the duvet back and patted the space on the bed right next to you, beckoning your pouty boyfriend over to you. “Let’s get you to sleep, yeah?”
Trudging over to his side of the bed, Minho slid onto the mattress and pulled the heavy duvet over his body. Freshly washed, the warm, lavender-scented blanket immediately soothed his senses.
“You could’ve at least stayed with me while I brushed my teeth,” Minho continued to pout as he turned on his side to face you, “and, I don’t know, given me a back hug or something.”
Though his tone was playful, you recognized the look in Minho’s gaze. He yearned for your comfort, but he didn’t know how to ask for it. Reaching over, you cupped his face, gently caressing his cheek with your thumb. You peppered a few pecks on the corners of his mouth, kissing his pout away. Perfect timing for Step Two: Give reassuring pets.
“I’m here now, it’s okay.” His hair was soft in between your fingers as you threaded them through the fluffy locks. They smelled faintly of his coconut shampoo.
Tired, Minho let out a yawn, nose scrunched and eyelids shut. He leaned into your touch, humming contently.
Faintly, the door creaked open and you could hear light thuds on the carpeted floor, followed by a slightly louder thud on the bed as Doongie entered the bedroom and jumped up to join you. He stepped all over Minho’s body—drawing out a quiet yelp from the man beside you. You giggled as Doongie finally plopped down on Minho’s pillow, snuggling against the top of his head. This brought you to Step Three: Tuck him in.
With your boyfriend lying under the covers, you hooked one leg over him, moving your hand on his head to tuck it into your neck, cradling his body with no intent to stop any time soon.
For a second, the universe felt still. It was as though the ever-rotating hands on the clock had stopped moving, pausing to witness this intimate moment between you and Minho; as if even the angels in the skies above didn’t want this sweet gesture to end.
That was until Minho decided to take matters into his own hands and execute Step Four: Put one arm out for temperature regulation.
“It's too warm!” Minho whined into your neck, breaking the silence, and removed one arm from under the blanket, exposing it to the cold air. “Ah, that's better.”
He turned on his side and wrapped his now free arm around the small of your back, pulling you closer to him, if that were even physically possible.
Seeing your bodies pressed flush against each other, Soonie—who was previously lounging at the foot of the bed—crawled up the sheets and nuzzled into the barely-there gap between you and Minho, with Dori following suit.
Within five minutes of lying down, the night ended with your small family cuddled together on the warm, cozy bed, basking in each other’s comfort.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
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comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
#ok sahar writing this hurt me honestly#im so glad you liked that part i was kinda experimenting w my writing there!#I WANT TO HAVE A LIL FAMILY WITH BABY KITTIES SO BADDD UGHHH#YES THIS IS MY BRAND NOW soft mimo is my fav thing ever#thank you this was a product of my 4am sleepy messy brain 🥹#・₊✧ feedback#w: five minutes
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#today was a very bad day#nothing really happened I just#woke up very very very drained#if I didnt had commitments Id probably stay in bed until 5pm#and worse that this commitment had me going outside#whoch drained me more#i got back home and took a very passed-out nap#no dreams just blacked out#amd yet no energy was restored#still woke up incredibly bad in the brain#now it's 4am and I cant sleep#and my mind only spirals into loneliness#amd how much I miss my partner#the distance between us never hurt as much as it does now#now that I know what it is to be with them#to have em nearby#the warmth of their room#their cat whos the cutest baby ever#i miss it all#and it hurts#it hurts so much#bloodletting
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