#it’d be highly personal and about cptsd and all the things I see / project into Aventurine
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There’s so much absolutely heart wrenching beautiful anguished art of Aventurine out there, and I love it all, but the thing that makes me cry, on 100% guarantee, is seeing wee happy Kakavasha 😭
#idk I wanna do a proper write up of my feelings at some point#it’d be highly personal and about cptsd and all the things I see / project into Aventurine#I feel such a desperate need to pour over and pick it all out but I also know I’m going to be fucking sobbing constantly while writing it#dndndndn but idk I think it would be so cathartic too ahhh we’ll see#anyway fuck#the light in kakavasha’s eyes will never not destroy me#the way he just wants to play#the way you still see that in Aventurine#so much about childhood trauma is forgetting and distancing yourself from your past#but you throw out the joy along with the hurt#and you forget that wee child version of yourself is still in you#kakavasha never left#nnnnaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😭😭😭😭#Aventurine#HSR#my rambles
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