#the light in kakavasha’s eyes will never not destroy me

[petorahs]

I would love to hear your thoughts about Sunday. (Please rant about him)

free reign to rant about my favorite character.... omg. I hope you know what you've just unleashed

first of all look at him. he is like a cat.

now where to begin...

I know what kinds of characters I like so I knew immediately that I was in for it when I first saw Sunday, "the most handsome man on Penacony!" with Robin in tow, who was his sister. for reference, characters with siblings almost always end up having my heart. for example Ayato is my favorite character in genshin, Arlecchino following close second. my affection for Aventurine rose drastically the moment I learnt he had a sister. found family Stellaron hunters makes my heart melt. I will always love sibling dynamics, characters who put their families first.

then his interaction with Aventurine happened. his questions were so very clearly a projection, not an interrogation. "Do you love your family more than yourself?" he was so clearly grieving. this is where Sunday starts to set apart from Ayato in my head. Sunday was more emotional and fraying at the seams than we ever saw Ayato throughout the story. he was a grieving brother who barely hides it. and... "Do you wish to destroy this world?". this is where Sunday starts to clearly set apart from Aventurine. Sunday would rather remake the world than destroy it.

and then. 2.2 - In Our Time happened. this is where I knew that he would become my obsession for months and months and months to come. it's where we saw his kindness, his bleeding heart, his pessimism on full display. his love for humanity - but never for himself. his evangelical themes, his Maruki persona 5-esque plan, his own grand orchestra, he himself being orchestrated like a puppet on strings. his Luciferic fall from grace.

...and being caught instead😭

this was so poignant i almost cried. idk like everything clicked here. s*icidal characters being caught (not saved) but held is so important to me. the light in their eyes dimming and the framing of the scene reminded me of how Scaramouche fell. and like how Aventurine held Kakavasha's hands.

PLUSSS sibling characters growing apart the older they get. Robin and Sunday arent that close in the present, that much is clear. they even fought before this. BUT SHE STILL CAUGHT HIM I JUST-- 😭 LIKE FUCK BRO I DIDNT EVEN THINK PENACONY AS A WHOLE WAS GOOD AT THE TIME NOR WAS I EVEN PLAYING HSR AT ALL I ONLY STARTED DURING JUNE 2024 but this still got me. it ended me. it just had everything i ever loved every theme i found dear and personal

also my favorite writing choice they did for Penacony was continuously mentioning Robin and Sunday's "paradise of our dreams" and the "promise" they made and how diametrically opposed they are despite both pursuing that vow, but... we only properly learn what it is at the end 😭

i. just cried at this i think. its such a simple wish but things went so far than Trustful Boy and Guileless Girl could have ever thought.

so that's the journey. ultimately i just came to the conclusion that this guy is just too cute for his own good and he wants the best for people he's never ever selfish or mean 😭 he's as loving as Elysia hi3 i think and his 7 rest days philosophy is just so cute of him.

he truly truly TRULY advocates for resting rather than having to work 9-5's, he would tell you to eat the extra dessert and to sleep in a little. HOWEVER. he would not extend this same leniency to himself. that is the duality and complexity of Sunday. (like look at this)

HE DOESNT RELY ON GODS!!! faithful church boy that he is, he denounced both Xipe AND Ena while still honoring THEM and he makes such good philosophical points and its just crazy that the trailblazers didnt really want to listen to him bc he was cooking. and regardless, he takes his fall with grace. GRACE!! he WANTED to be proven wrong he's just so reasonable and i love his faith and devotion and care and and and

as a kid he dissed the teacher that said little Robin's singing was bad. and then he ate an eggtart out of spite. THE LITTLE BIRDIE HAD SUCH AN ATTITUDE!! and he has piercings in his wings and metal choir in his boss theme of course he's a little alt.

i adore this side of him:

he just. needs to know that he's deserving of all the love in the world he desires for everyone else. i hope he doesnt put himself on such punishingly high standards anymore. i hope he learns more from Aventurine and takes more chances. i hope he gets his :3 smile back on his model.

i am so ill for this man.

also i think this message i sent to my friend after I saw Sunday's animations explains how i feel at all times. I got nothing to hide. (I'm sorry women) (NSFW text warning)

[stormofdefiance]

There’s so much absolutely heart wrenching beautiful anguished art of Aventurine out there, and I love it all, but the thing that makes me cry, on 100% guarantee, is seeing wee happy Kakavasha 😭

[avensthetic]

𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐄, 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 (40mp, deco*27)

to you who sobbed as you looked at me who was troubled yet smiling, i say: "welcome home!" because yesterday and tomorrow as well, there is a place here for you to come and say "i've come home!" tw: brief mentions of abuse, slavery, blood, and a pet name. nothing graphic.

𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚, 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚

━━ ╸i almost left. almost did plenty of times if i’m honest. it's stupid, i know. running's always been my solution, my way of gambling with the inevitable disaster that follows me around. i’m selfish aren’t i? i didn’t even think how destroyed you would be. but i thought it was better than dragging you down with me.

i’m a fool. me, a man who's gambled everything and walked away from worse, nearly bailing on the one good thing i've got in my damn life. i know i don't deserve you. every day i wake up expecting my luck to run out, expecting it all to go up in flames, you getting sick of me and leaving.

but everytime i come home, sometimes late, sometimes smelling like the deals i had to make, blood and all that, and you're there, waiting patiently, eyes lighting up in relief and delight seeing me unharmed. you smile, and that simple "welcome home" ... damn, doll, it's like finding an oasis in my damn desert of a life.

i’ll be here…if you’ll still have me.

love, kakavasha

deep down, aventurine was still the terrified boy sold at the slave market, his worth measured in a handful of copper coins. all the credits in the world, all the influence he'd acquired, couldn't erase that brand imprinted on his soul.

his gaze drifted to you, sleeping soundly. a pang of guilt and love twisted in his gut. you were the one good thing in his life, a beacon of warmth contrasting the memory of the cold shackles that once coiled around his neck and wrists. the way you smiled at him, the unconditional acceptance in your eyes... it was everything he'd ever longed for, and yet, it felt unbearably fragile.

aventurine always believed he didn't deserve this happiness, this soft illusion of home that your presence created. his hands, stained with blood from past betrayals and gambles gone wrong, felt contaminated. every day with you was a borrowed luxury, a ticking clock until his rotten luck inevitably turned, and he destroyed this haven as he'd destroyed everything else he touched.

a bitter laugh threatened to escape his lips. ending it... maybe that was the kindest thing he could do. spare you the pain of his inevitable downfall, let you find someone worthy, someone who wasn't cursed like him.

he tiptoed closer, unable to resist tracing a finger along your cheek. aventurine had already been through a lot—beaten, starved, used. but the thought of never feeling your touch again, never hearing your voice, was the one pain he wasn’t sure he could handle.

you stirred slightly, mumbling a soft greeting even in sleep, “kakavasha? welcome home.” his heart constricted. that simple welcome, offered so freely, had been his lifeline through countless dark nights.

your promise echoed, “when you say i’m back, i will always be there to greet you with a welcome home.” who was he kidding? he can fool others, but not himself. and aventurine finds himself holding onto your hand tightly rather than let go.

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕 - 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

[chthonicrose]

going to ramble in a deranged manner about aventurine hsr

spoilers for 2.1 msq

he doesn't hide the brand. he could easily wear a high enough collar that it wasn't visible--but something hidden is a weakness. if everyone can see it, if it isn't hidden, then it isn't a secret, it isn't leverage against him.

and maybe he isn't ashamed of it. it wasn't his fault he was enslaved, after all. and he won the bet. he wasn't sent to the gallows. he got of it what he could.

and he's still alive. still an avgin. are you the last member of your clan? perhaps. if any other children survived, are they like topaz, with no culture but the IPC? do they know the prayer to gaiathra triclops? and he knelt to press his hand to kakavasha's--he doesn't hate his child self. he remembers where he came from. he isn't ashamed of being sigonian, of being an avgin. the katicans destroyed everyone else, but he lives. and that's a blessing, right? he has the eyes, his mother told him, his father, his sister--he's lucky. he's blessed by gaiathra triclops. so this is luck, right? he survived. this has to be luck, that he lived when everyone else was lost. and he's never lost a gamble. (does he want to? what does he say, in the golden touch trailer--but life would be quite dull if it were just an unending series of wins, wouldn't it? does he want gaiathra triclops to take back her blessing? does he keep throwing the dice because he wants them to come up snake eyes?)

while I'm talking about the golden touch. the way it's framed, with baby kakavasha picking up the chip at the beginning at the end, the way he says 'you see'--teaching himself how to play the game, how to be the gambler. no one else will take care of that child, no one else is left.

what is it like, to see kakavasha in the theme park, happy, safe, his family just around the corner, just out of sight? is it worse to see a golden past than a cruel future, kakavasha harder to look at than "aventurine"?

kakavasha belongs to gaiathra triclops. aventurine belongs to the IPC.

there is no aventurine without the cornerstone. the cornerstone is shattered. and aventurine is dead. "dead". a gamble lost, or won. is there a way free on the other side of the dreamscape? did robin find it--robin who has no voice, robin who sings of gilded cages. what does sam know of the other side of the coin? firefly was there too. (hashtag firesam theory confirmed, save me robot girlboyfriend)

the way he pulls the gun in in the light cone animation. kill him. try it. (please?) a seduction, for the little death or the greater one.

anyway. I'm insane about aventurine I don't have a thesis I just have too many thoughts. thank you for coming to my ted talk.