#it wouldve distracted me if i got it earlier

[aurorangen]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

i'm late to this, but i loved getting to know my mutuals better! why not share a few things about myself since i'm back!! i was tagged by @devotedsims @akitasimblr @druidberries @emzchaos @shitysimp @estah @tinysimmer @blueflame-sims @brannewjoint thank you so much for tagging me <33

are you named after anyone? - no also my real name isn't rory.

when was the last time you cried? - i cried (on the inside) when i opened my exam papers, today's one was horrendous lmaooo but i'm so glad that they're over! idk when the last time i cried was.

do you have kids? - nope.

do you use sarcasm a lot? - sometimes.

what sports do you play/have you played? - i was sporty back in high school! i did volleyball, badminton, running! not competitively except the running, i took part in the athletics competitions! now i don't do any sports, i'm too lazy ahaha!

what's the first thing you notice about other people? - their face especially the eyes! then clothing and style.

eye colour? - dark brown

scary movies or happy endings? - i'm a wimp so happy endings.

any special talents? - hmm what counts as a special talent?

where were you born? - england.

what are your hobbies? - cooking, travelling, eating and simblr of course haha!! and i might get back into watching asian dramas or any other shows! i have time now :D

do you have any pets? - no pets.

how tall are you? - 173 cm

fave subject in school? - art! it was the only relaxing subject! also computer science and maths, complete opposites!

dream job? - it has always been between an architect or an engineer!! i'm currently studying general engineering, not sure what sector but maybe mechanical? civil? changes all the time.

i'll slowly get back into posting and i will definitely catch up with my favourite people!

[winter-jay-official]

If its not obvious my hyperfixation is highly pokemon based rn

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. MACKERELMORE. nhw trickster. killington. amity. the chaos zone. deadwood. new and funny and interesting ways to slaughter people. tide clone shit. bonesaw boiling the failed clones alive. muse. trickster using muse to do shit like u just saw in killington. the wards seeing the trickster using muse to execute people in ways Like That. holds up mic!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD. THERES SO MUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD FOR NHW IN THE CHAPTERS I READ EARLIER. fuck. god. shit. okay.

starting with the trickster bc i feel like when i get into tides stuff ill talk for 10 years. ohhhhh my god dude as soon as they walked into a town called fucking KILLINGTON ????? i was like. god thats a joke trickster would make huh!!!!! hed think thats so fucking funny. (and it is. but only to me who has the advantage of seeing this as a narrative and not a real event i am experiencing. fucking hilarious shit. killington??!?!?!?!? killington. ) i have a lot of thoughts about the shit he did to Amity before he escaped and like. yeah. fuckin yeah. i dont think he wouldve killed Everyone in the city (gotta have. puppets to play with and also like. people who hes not controlling to chase around and hunt for sport) (this is fucking terrifying and awful! this is so bad! like catastrophically so!) but i definitely think when the wards go to amity (because i want them to do that so bad at some point) i think it will be in sort of a similar state to this with like. bodies strung up like decorations. graffiti made from fuckign. ash and blood and paint all mixed together. really obviously placed traps. etc etc etc. jsut like. evidence that this place is like his fucking playground! horrifying!

anyway yeah also muse holy shit. muse has to singlehandedly raze at least one fuckign town. for sure. dude dude like that fucking video jack had where they had everyone gathered together before they started killing them? that but with trickster and muse? and its . more fucking scary because instead of 200+ slaughterhouse 9 clones its literally JUST trickster and muse. and whatever random handful of puppets trickster is controlling around the edge of the crowd for extra sets of hands.. aauogaouguguhhghhhgh. i need them to do horrific shit.

OKAY. CLONE TIME. CLONE TIM.E . OUGHGHHGHGH TIIIIDE. TIIIIIIIIDE. how many failed clones do you htink there were. how many failed clones to make tide and magma. do you think they know about the failed clones. they got fucking BOILED ALIVE. do u think tide and magma ever see any of the other clones before theyre ready and they have to look at their own fucking faces (face?) and think about that. i still have that post abt the lambert family in my drafts god i need 2 finish that but. in my mind tide and magma are the oldest (technically magma is the oldest but tide was like. a year or less after him so theyre closer in age) and then it was. seismic and whirlwind at the same time so theyre twins. and then shockwave. and then elle. so i think tide and magma have that Eldest Sibling bond where they have. Issues that are parallel to each other. and a LOT of that comes from being endbringer juniors and a lot of that comes from being clones. but where magma got closed off and aloof about it tide like. desperately clung to kindness bc he doesnt like when people are scared of him. anyway im getting distracted. FUCKING CLOOOOOONE SHIT. CLONE LORE. WORM CLONE LORE. THE WHOLE LIKE. either implanting false memories from other people or needing to raise them from scratch????? thats fucking insane. oh my god. what the fuck kind of memories do u think they got. obviously a lot from dr lambert but like. man. do u think the endbringer thing is like baked into their fucking memories. its in their dna. i didnt quite understand the bit about bonesaw trying to give them their powers but if altering memories can alter what sorts of powers they get...... do the endbringers have dna. do u think tide and magma got endbringer dna in them. that would be sick (both in the sick meaning cool way and in the im gonna make myself sick way). actually that brings up the point. are the endbringers even organic??????????? or are they constructs?????????? since they were confirmed created by someone/something....... man. MANY THOUHGST HEAD FULL. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT NHW TIDE. bonesaw boiled the failed clones alive. i dont . i dont think tide and magma were ever *kids* (which is like. ow.) but like. god im just imagining the part in trigun where vash and knives find whats left of tesla. holy shit dude. do you see my vision here

[autistic-creature-appears]

Thanks for the save - Sonadow Prime (ONESHOT)

A/N: Anything will bold, italics, and underlines is an A/N. 

Literally screeching at the show it feeds my sonadow brainrot sm!!

This was more of writing practice than anything (and I felt bad for not giving yall stuff for a long time)

Sonic

By the time I registered the fact that missiles were headed toward me, it was too late. I closed my eyes, waiting for the explosion that would surely launch me far away from my current position.

But it never came.

I opened my eyes and saw Shadow carrying me. I heard him say the words "Probably gonna regret that," over my shoulder. 

"Aw, I heart you too, Shadow," I replied.

While it was really just a teasing joke thrown his way, there was a bit more... depth to the phrase too. 

We got back to the fight.

--

Shadow

I was fighting the "child-like" member of the Chaos Council when my guard fell and he grabbed me. I felt the robot's crushing grip more and more each second. I couldn't move. He pointed something I can only think to be a missile launcher at my face, preparing to shoot me dead. 

In that instant, I heard Sonic call out to me. I turned my head and saw him running toward the robot and me. In a split second, he was here, attacking the robot. I fell to the floor.

I wanted to get up and help, but I was incredibly tired. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Sonic's battle with the two Chaos Council members. He was moving much faster than he normally does, I noted.

--

I sorta forgot how the episode ended or what happened after these scenes, so forgive me-- Just think of this as an alternate ending. (although it wouldve been that anyway)

3rd-person POV

After Nine left Sonic by himself, Shadow walked over to provide some comfort. After all, depression gets in the way of efficiency, so he wanted to do away with that problem. At least, that's what he told himself. He knew deep down that he didn't like seeing Sonic sad. The sight of Sonic being hurt sent pangs piercing through his heart, and he didn't know why. But he knew the cause of it. 

Sonic's sadness.

"..."

He wasn't good at comforting others. Hell, he usually made them feel worse. 

So he decided to distract Sonic from Nine's betrayal.

"...Thanks for saving me earlier." Shadow noticed the rotation of Sonic's ears in his direction.

"You're... thanking me...?" 

Shadow understood the confusion, at least partially. He wasn't one to thank others. At most, he would dismiss it, or reply with anger instead. Still, it sort of hurt to think that Sonic wasn't capable of thinking Shadow had the decency to thank people once in a while.

"What else would 'Thanks for saving me earlier' mean?" 

Sonic chuckled, with a bit of nervousness lining his reply. "N-Nothing, it's just unlike you, Shadow."

"I still have the decency to appreciate actions too, you know." 

"Since when did I say you couldn't?" 

Shadow was slightly taken aback by Sonic's response, but managed to regain his composure enough to give a response of his own.

"Hm. You didn't." 

"Exactly, Shads." Sonic teased. "Stop assuming things about me and how I feel about you."

"Shads? Since when have I ever been called Shads?"

"Since now, obviously, you goofball!" Sonic stuck his tongue out easily. 

Shadow chuckled, "Of course."

A moment of uninterrupted silence unfolded, as the two hedgehogs sat together. Until it was then interrupted.

Sonic looked at Shadow. "Since we're on the topic of thanking people..."

Shadow's ears perked up just a bit.

"Thanks for the save earlier, when the missiles were headed for me."

"Well, I couldn't just let you die, now could I?"

Sonic laughed a bit at that. Shadow noted how joyful his laugh sounded, full of happiness and with a charming ring to it. 

"Well, yeah, but you could've also continued fighting and finished off Dr. Deep. I probably would've survived anyway." Sonic added under his breath, "Although maybe not in fighting condition..."

Another moment of silence hung between them.

"I don't like it when you're hurt."

Sonic looked mildly surprised at Shadow's statement, but he managed to reply with a tease anyway.

"Ah, so do our fights not count?" 

Shadow smirked back.

"I should've said 'I don't like it when someone that isn't me hurts you.' " 

Sonic laughed again, this time much more than before. Shadow let out a few laughs of his own.

"I like spending time with you, Shadow."

"Me too, Sonic."

--

Aight so if i remember correctly, Shadow actually isn't fighting Dr Deep when he saves Sonic, he's hiding from the Chaos Council (they think he died). But this is a fanfiction so I do whatever I want. Hell, I could've made Obama appear out of nowhere and recite the vaporeon copypasta (although I'd never live it down if I wrote that)

[caffe1ne]

update: it was in fact not stolen

my mum hid it guys thats crazy

the fact that i had expected it. bcs tbf, it was already weird that when she explained the story, it was kinda suspicious

she said she called my phone, some guy picked up, said he found it and that he was waiting, and that when she got there, he said he was elsewhere. and that elsewhere was somewhere entirely else

she mispronounced the place she said the guy waited at, but i thought, maybe she mixed it up again, but then again the time between her calling me from my brothers phone to say that she called the guy, and the time she got home, is too quick to have gone to the 'elsewhere' the guy was at

and the way she was so calm about it? she wouldve blamed me all day and gotten angry, wouldve forbidden me of getting a new phone, but she reacted pretty well. which shouldve been the biggest red flag but i was a bit too distracted by anxiety

she was also pretty racist about it, she didnt want cops involved because she was 'scared' to get picked on by the guy

then earlier tonight i checked her family link to see if the guy managed to open my phone, and i see that its been used for 10 minutes. now how would they do that?

then i saw this button that apparently sends an alarm to your kid's phone, and then i heard the alarm from the CLOSET

she hid my phone. like. holy fuck. i am really angry at her, but she doesnt know i found out yet. im gonna see how long it takes for her to notice

all in all, im so happy that my subway surfers progress is not lost phew, should make a facebook so i can save it, just in case, and all my photos (again)

long story short, everythings alright

chat my phone got stolen 😭😭😭 some guy picked up when we called, said he has it and that he'd wait but then didn't pick up anymore he was literally just mocking 😭😭 fuck my life

[shroombell]

OP you are spitting STRAIGHT FACTS we got cheated SO BAD with hot rod’s character, they just totally went back on everything and skipped over all the horrific stuff the earlier Autobots did. i have no idea what made them suddenly turn hot rod into someone who supported the autobots unconditionally, i wouldve LOVED to see him as someone who was conflicted between the decepticons who he thought would help free Nyon from its slow death but instead wanting to kill other people just bc of a difference in factions (like bumblebee and the other captured autobots in the autocracy comics), vs the autobots who he obviously hated, but orion and his crew decided to help hot rod and be distractions while he evacuated the survivors

:((( forever will never get over the potential that was missed for hot rod’s character. everything that he fought for, to protect his city was completely just tossed away and that makes me pretty sad actually

also such little autocracy hot rod fan content??? most ppl only know abt idw rodimus prime and his past never comes up, nor does it really affect who he is currently? which is fine ig but i feel like so much more couldve been done with his character… especially with megatron on board the lost light later on, i wonder if they wouldve recognised each other from the pre-war days with hot rod pretty much being a terrorist and like almost joining the decepticons lol

(feel free to correct me on any of this btw cos i still needa finish the autocracy and idw comics completely, mightve gotten some details wrong)

What will always kill me whenever I think about the IDW1 continuity is the potential of Autocracy!Hot Rod and how better writing for him (honestly, just better writing in general) could have made Autocracy and Primacy infinitely better. Because the idea of Rodimus being much older than he previously was portrayed as, a destitute insurgent, and someone who has so much blood on his hands not by choice but to spare his home and people of the pain that Zeta promised to inflict is so fascinating. He's neutral but more sympathetic to the Decepticons because of their aligned cause and beliefs. He and others are making deals with Swindle for access to resources to fight back and it seems like Nyon had a pretty good relationship with the movement itself prior to the events of Autocracy.

It's interesting because despite all this, Hot Rod hasnt' joined the war on the side of the Decepticons because he's focused on helping his home and community first. And in a story that's tackling the early days of the war, that is an amazing concept to introduce and explore further.

And yet it's squandered in favor of trying to adhere immediately to a four million year old status quo in the early days of the war. The early days when the Decepticons were still fighting back against a violent functionist government, which the Autobots worked for as a police/security force.

This is frustrating because they showcase Autobot crimes with Autocracy, revealing how they've been draining citizens of Nyon dry of their precious energon and in fact is not only limited to this city. It's happening all over Cybertron. Hot Rod is taking a gamble by exposing himself to Orion and his team to show the truth, something incredibly risky because Orion is still siding fiercely with the Autobots despite being confronted by Megatron with the truth and Hot Rod is a wanted domestic terrorist. Zeta wanted to make an example of him and it wouldn't have been pretty, likely in the lines of what was done to Shockwave or worse. He knew this and still risked it because he hoped that Orion had a shred of, for lack of a better word, humanity in him. But it was too late for Nyon. And they speedrun the social progression of the war to have Hot Rod immediately wary of the Decepticons, like the insurgents hadn't been making deals with them earlier.

Further into the trilogy, Primacy shows Hot Rod having graduated from the Autobot Academy after the events of Autocracy. Allow me to reiterate. Autocracy where the Autobots had been slowly killing the people of Nyon and is stated to have NUMEROUS facilities across Cybertron harvesting energon from people directly hooked up to the tanks. And they never do anything about it. Hot Rod apparently having gotten over that the faction he just joined has so much blood on their hands and was complicit in numerous crimes. Crimes he's a witness to.

To add to it, Slinger, an old friend of Hot Rod and member of the insurgency returns as a Decepticon and this is the first sign we see of the conflict of Hot Rod being a survivor of Nyon's destruction and yet a member of the faction that made it happen. Not much is done by it either because the writers were so focused on making the Autobots look like the actual good guys and the Decepticons the bad guys they killed Slinger off with his quick change of heart and forgot the explicit information they gave to us, the readers.

Hot Rod is destitute. He's an insurgent. The Autobots were committing horrific crimes in the name of their cause, draining innocents of their energon during an active energon crisis. All this to crush the Decepticons who were fighting back against their corrupt government. Hot Rod was actively fighting back with the resources given to them by the Decepticons. He's a victim of the Autobots. Enforcers helped round all these people up into the tanks to die. Optimus assumed his new position as Prime and never really did anything to fully dismantle the system because its sentiment is still alive 4 million years later.

Yet Hot Rod is there, as if nothing had ever happened.

The only reasoning we get is somehow the Decepticons are worse. As if the Autobots hadn't committed bigger crimes he was witness to or understood what made them. It's so frustrating because with his origins, it should've taken longer for him to fall in with the Autobots or an outside force forcing him in with them.

Because you don't forget or forgive an institution that ruined yours and others lives, that murdered them for daring to take a stand against them.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’ 

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side 

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

[b0ba-chan]

I just had a realization hit me but like, these two motherfuckers are 6'1 at least, imagine beign the tiny manager (I know you're part of the tini gang) of the team and you can't even talk to them at times 'cause you're basically eye level with it and they don't understand why the new manager avoids them like the plague. Until one day they manage to get you cornered but you can't listen to single world they say 'cause their fucking dick it's just there in front of your face and you don't know how to act.

Listen, I don't know what your fucking problem is, but you need t-uh? Are you even listening to me right now?! What the fuck are you on about, look me in the face you fucking-oh.. oh OOOH that's the problem uh doll? Want me to do something about it? 🌸

hnnnnng only mattsun has the audacity to say that.

you had to report to mattsun about something that oikawa wanted him to know abou, so you run up to him with your clipboard of notes. you were looking up at him and ask him if he was free to talk which he agreed. if anyone was looking in from the outside, the scene wouldve been funny by the difference in height. he stood in front of you and listen as he wiped his sweat off with his shirt and drinking from his water. the use of shirts as towels still makes you blush but it isnt as distracting anymore as you always had boys around you doing the same. but as your vision seem to focus away from the clipboard, your eyes were met a possible dick print that almost looked like the length of your arm. your face goes red and hurry to finish your sentence before leaving. 

after that incident you couldnt talk to matsukawa, too shy and embarrassed. it was one whole week, and yeah maybe a day or two is excusable as you were busy tending to the first and second years more than the third, but it was a week without even a single hi.

it was before morning practice on a sunday, you got their earlier than everyone else to set up like the good manager you are. but while you were sorting things in the storage room, you felt arms cage you to the wall. since you were facing  the wall you were scared this mustve been an intruder. “why have you been avoiding me?” the man mutters. you turn around to see matsukawa, hovering over you. this is worse than an intruder. “listen, i know youre busy, but it doesnt mean you cant just not say hi to me. you see everyday. hell you sent kunimi to talk to me rather than yo- whats wrong?” he frowns and sees you looking down, but not at your feet. you were looking straight at his dick print in his grey sweatpants and he kinda relaxes, laughing a bit. “is that it? thats what had you avoiding me doll?” he tilts your chin up to look at him in the eyes. “i only came here extra early to confront you, but it seems like you want something else. how about i show you what you’ve been missing?”

[uswnt5]

i’m back and boy do i have things to say. buckle up it’s a loooooong one

first off, an i cannot stress this enough, fuck Merritt Paulson. that’s it, that’s the tweet. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

don’t worry i’ll get to THAT. but first, not taking Brianna Visalli or Ally Prisock? dumb moves LV, but not the first of the night tbh. like not even one of them? Kizer is good, but a rookie with no experience at all? would love to know the train of thought on that one. unsurprised by Sky Blue and North Carolina (should’ve protected Merrick imo), good picks though. bit confused by Spirit, would’ve gone for Dougherty-Howard young but experienced, but they picked two rookies instead so we clearly aren’t valuing having any actual playing experience in LV. we only care about height for a 6’1 keeper but ok.

a rookie defender from the Reign and Michelle Betos. again so much better talent to take from Reign and you took a rookie who you *think* will come back from Sweden. she probably will but i would’ve taken someone in their mid 20s who had experience for you to build around and is already proven considering all the rookies you’ve already taken. and a keeper who just tore her acl?? idk when Betos will be ready but you now get to choose between a rookie keeper and an injured keeper when you could’ve taken Britt Eckerstrom and a different player from Reign (Rosie White, Jasmyn Spencer, Taylor Smith) . sidenote wonder who Reigns new international keeper will be now that they don’t have any lol.

Orlando. oof. not much to choose from i know, but like two Aussies? after the great Aussie nwsl exodus? i know Foord has a relationship with the coach, but she’s loving Arsenal and Lia Walti and i don’t think she’s planning on returning soon. Alanna Kennedy could also very well stay overseas especially if she doesn’t want to move, staying overseas looking more attractive in my opinion. wouldve looked at Pickett or Konya Plummer but it seems LV is pulling a Hail Mary and crossing their fingers about them coming back to the league (and other *side eye*). not to mention UK is closer to AUS and with them having the WC in 2023 i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s another reason they stayed in europe.

Press, unsurprising i think we all saw that coming. Utah just looks like it’s sinking and nobody is throwing a line out to help. willing to bet you don’t see Vero come back, maybe even Gunny with how things are going.

ok here we go. i will preface this by saying i have been a Thorns fan from the start, so this is devastating. my heart really does hurt, and seeing fans be so disgusted with the Thorns front office? deserved. i don’t think anyone really expected it to happen with the talent Portland left available. i mean considering LV’s entire team is rookies you’d think they would throw some experienced players in there, you know ones who will actually come play for you? Tobin not being a Thorn anymore just doesn’t seem real or right, and maybe that’s dramatic, but more than literally anyone else on that team, she IS Portland. this is a player who dedicated her entire career to helping build this club, and the way everything went down this year, dirty. having stated on multiple occasions (literally a month ago too) that Portland and the Thorns are her home, she had every intention of going back and playing there. now she won’t even get a proper sendoff? and Paulson is going to make statements that she’s irreplaceable? then get her back you dumb fucking idiot. i KNOW there is a long game here but Portland couldve waited for this exact thing to happen next year with LA, which it probably would’ve, and given a proper sendoff to the player who has been the heart of your team from its start. we’ll never know, but some back door deal could’ve and should’ve been made to leave her, especially with who else was available, but LV/Portland just uprooted a settled 30 year old life and i’m not ok with that. if they don’t at BARE minimum retire #17, oof, prepare for a riot.

i hope Tobin stays in Manchester until at least december 2021 and doesn’t report after the Olympics. i would even be down with a permanent move to the wsl as a fuck you to the nwsl. this draft reminded me of how disgusting it is that the NWSL does not give players autonomy of their own careers, jerking them around without any care for their feelings or lives. you cannot claim to be the best league in the world and then treat players this way. nobody can tell me Tobin is thrilled about this at the end of the day, even if she’ll get to play with Press, she just lost the home and team she spent years building and probably thought she’d end her career with that’s got to be devastating. furthermore, LV currently using the two of them as clickbait knowing the chances of them ever reporting there are about as likely as Donald Trump getting elected for a second bc ‘voter fraud’? fucking gross. Christy Holly was problematic af when he coached before, you think they want to go from Casey Stoney to that? absolutely fucking doubt it.

currently: really unhappy, very sad, also angry. thanks for reading and would love your thoughts and sorry for all the cursing

I love cursing, don’t ever apologize for that! I’m sorry you’re hurting, too. It’s awful to see it go down like this. The problem is, there really wasn’t another way. Crystal got her wish so essentially they had to give up Tobin. I think they were banking on putting enough talent out there to distract Louisville into taking other players but alas, it didn’t work.

I’ve said earlier but I’ll say again, this hurts, but at the end of the day, at least Tobin and Christen get to go through this experience together and it’s not one left having to deal with it while the other has a safety net. They are each others safety nets now and that’s a cool thing. 

When it comes down to it, I think them staying in Manchester until Dec 2021 is exactly what they’ll do. That’ll give them time to come back to the states for the holidays and settle into LA (if they get that move), get a house there, and start ramping up media for the inaugural season. Fans want it. I really do think it’ll happen. I mean, look at the Rebellion 99 watch parties that they already have for CP and she’s not even an LA player yet. They simple LOVE their hometown girl. 

T&C and the first overall pic in 2022 for Louisville exemption like @xowoso said seems pretty spot on to me. 

For now, lets all just take a breath and thank our lucky stars that they are playing in Manchester right now and not actually having to make a 2020 decision about agreeing to go to Louisville. Let’s see where this WSL season ends up and if they can get into UCL before we stress too much. They’re happy and thriving together and I think we should hold onto that for now. 

And if it makes you feel better, maybe sleep in your Tobin Thorns jersey tonight. 

[rigginsstreet]

Do you think Eleven killed Billy? Or saved him in a way

i.. struggle with this. i dont know if id ever say she killed him that was suzie but i have seen people say that she only brought up the memory of his mom as a distraction so she could get away and… i could see an argument for that being true, but also, regardless of if she got away from billy, like the monster was still there? she couldnt have known billy would sacrifice himself the way he did. so i dont know. 

i also think because i love the idea of billy and el being friends so much i just dont want to think of her using that moment as a manipulation tactic essentially. and i dont think she wouldve done that to max either. 

i DO think el couldve pushed a little harder and earlier to save him but ya know whatever.

regardless of what els intentions were, she did allow billy a moment of peace that he never wouldve gotten otherwise before his death. so theres that. 

that absolutely does not make his death any easier for me to swallow cuz the entire situation still fucking sucks and was not handled correctly but youve gotta find a silver lining somewhere i guess

[emiliaboone]

Fantasy Romance Thoughts: Twilight

Yeah, I went here. I know, I know. But I needed to do it. We all know where this one slots itself in, so here’s my second “bad” fantasy. well, just bad. We know it’s bad.

Who is in love? Bella and Edward How much time? Most of the movie. Happy Ending? Yes Plot Focus? Absolutely. How much lead up? I distinctly remember there being a lot more, but there isn’t! They hang out a lot and they spend a lot of time together but it’s distinctly not romantic until she finds out he’s a vampire. The closest you get to lead up is them having dinner together, but even still theere wasn’t much to work with. It was like going from one date to being totally cool with dating aserial killer. It escalated much more quickly than I remember. Were you into it? Not even when I was a fan of the books did I ship this How was it integrated? This was the plot, it’s a romance movie. He falls in love with her and then has to save her when other vamps come after her. It was integrated in the beinning weirdly tough, because they spent time together and became closer, but there wasn’t a lot of romance, except for a long look when he saves her life the first time and the hand touch. But that’s about it. It’s strange how quickly it escalates. Was it distracting? The romance itself isn’t distracting, because it is the movie, but the movie is also like, ridiculously annoying in the way it goes about the romance, and those moments stic out like a sore thumb. Kiss? Yes Sex? No-that would be unChristian of them. Annoyance Level: 10. So much of this pisses me off. Rating: I want to rate this higher because I remember a time when I liked them, but I think even when I liked twilight I knew this movie was shite, so I’m giving it a 2.  And that’s generous. Thoughts: Full Disclosure, I really liked these books for a while. Didn’t last long, but I did. Lol remember that Parks and rec episode where they watched this movie? Also has a good score. And soundtrack. I legit even had a flute book dedicated to this soundtrack. And it was AWESOME. Charlie is my actual fave. “oh right, one bathroom” is such a weird line. Also the sales lady picked out the bed stuff but what about all the decorations lining the walls? Yeah tones of voice here, so weird. So is this scene, since they used to play together but he introduces himself? Wouldn’t you say “sorry to be weird, but do you remember me?” the convo between the dads is low key the best part of this. Also why’d she ask which one’s the clutch??? Also remember in the books where Eric kind of disappears and is replaced with some dude called Ben? Did they segregate gym class??? Omg Anna Kendrick, sometimes I wonder if she gets to forget about this movie, even she isn’t great in this. “Oh my god Karen you can’t just ask people why they’re white” This laughing thing is like the most cringey thing ever. This whole discussion about the legality of the Cullens’ relationships is so real. I just have to say, Jessica and Angela are the most natural people right now but Bella’s being so WEIRD! Sometimes I wonder how I missed some of this. His reaction to her “scent” is just really hard to watch. LOL OMG HE’S JUST STARING AT HER. Now he’s being unnecessarily rude. This movie has over 40%, but right now I”m just laughing. Wait, why was she in there? Lol “one year”, I totally remember you from years ago while I thought you were someone else. OMG OF COURSE SHE REMEMBERS HER FAVOURITE?? she throws her homework away dramatically while no-one can see her do it then insists she has homework. Why would you ask someone you don’t know why they were gone? And again, why is that weird? And again, sh’es 17, what makes him think it was her choice to move? I mean it was, but why would he know that? And why would she notice his eyes? I have to stop talking. He’s just watching her…saves her life, has his arm around her, long look in each other’s eyes. I LOVE charlie! So her reaction to this is fair. She’s right ttto be suspicious of what happened. But why would she be suspicious of Carlisle? She doesn’t know him, she has no reason to believe something’s up with the family right now…Ok this conversation makes no sense. Again, her reaction to this is warranted. and props to him he’s playing this off so well. But it went from “I know what I saw, you were by your car” to randomly “I know what I saw you stopped the van”. And he just got REAL aggressive. And he was doing so well until then! He could have just kept on the whole denial thing and he wouldve gotten away with it! He distracts her and they super obviously stare at each other. Weirdly natural conversation, he just says “it’s what’s best”, and it go tweird again. “We shouldn’t be friends” what an awkward conversation starter, they don’t need to be friends…Yeah his flip flopping is weird. If you were samrt you’d stay away from me, I definitely would because that’s such a weird thing to say out of the blue. And how would she know he’s not the villain? God what a weird response! She is flirting HARD with him. Like way more than with Edward. Saves her again, scares rapists off with a look that’s definitely not that scary. Nearly running them over immediately would have been much less effective. He’s furious with the guys (obvi) like, violently. Where would she have gone? Why is she so cool with him following her?? “money sex money sex cat” was my favourite thing once. Valid quesiton edward, yeah his dialogue is creepy…She has such a weird reaction to that meet cute hand touch…Wait why were those flashbacks a thing again? Oh, cos he’s dead? Then why was there a closeup on his eye? Dead people don’t have gold eyes…Be real. Anyone else in that situation would NOT assume vampires are real. The way this scene is shot is so weird, it makes me sick. She’s not afraid of him for some reason, she insists he won’t hurt her, even though he actually wnats to kill her, and he wants to protect her but he carries her on his back. Wait, hang on was a romance ever a thing? Why doens’t she care, I thought they were friends? I’ve never noticed it, but this is so random! WHY DO YOU TRUST HIM? You’re literally trapping her? WHY? THIS MAKES NO SENSE??? THEY BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER??/ Is it because like he said that she draws her in? then isn’t it like date rape? What are the rules here? Also shouldn’t you be in school? God there’s so much of this movie left. Bonding over music and awkward dancing, and he takes her for an adventure in the trees. I’m sorry I know this is done to death but this is CREEPY! He’s watching her sleep! They kiss, and she begs him to stay and watch her sleep some more. So I know this scene is nototriously dumb but I actually really like it. Until the other vamps come, except for rosalie, it’s the only scene where everyone seems to be relaxed and not super uptight. The acting (for the most part) doesn’t suck here. He’s incredibly protective of her with the other vamps, they all are. That’s the second time they’ve said “rip them apart and burn the pieces” THEY JUST MET! And on top of that, rosalie was protecting her earlier, now she’s reluctant?? She’s part of the family, she’s his life now, WHY?? He omes to save her, and then sucks the venom out of her to make the pain go away? I guess? What are these images? She freaks out when he tells her to go to Jacksonville, saying  you can’t leave me, we can’t be apart. Why do you already hate each other? You don’t kow about the vamps/werewolves yet…May I remeind everyone, they just met. And she wants to become an actual vampire to be with him forever. And he fakes her out in my least favourite moment.

And there you have it. A terrible review for a terrible movie. If you want to see the actual video version of the rant, you can find that here. Sorry about it, but I needed it. 

[flyingcookierambles]

hhh

got afab’d at the eye doctor today arrgh

i wouldve corrected him but like. i doubt that ill go there again since it was like a super quick kinda-non emergency thing and i have a regular eye doctor i go to. also my mom was in the room and like. i didnt wanna bring it up with her there and all but like. uugh.

he just like immediately picked female on the gender option even tho there was an other option and everything wtf?????????????

hmmm also i had to go to the doctors for a quick check up/physical thing since im/my mom is going to make me get my drivers license and you have to have a doctors note and all and i went to my moms doctor or the first time since i aged out of my pediatrician. and like? they had me and my mom in the same room which was kinda weird???? like for the whole patient confidentiality thing (which wouldve been useless since like my mom knows more abt my medical history than me) and like also the whole. pandemic thing??? like?? it was me, my mom, and the nurse practitioner crammed into a tiny basic exam room?? maybe bc my mom has been going to this doctors’ office for a long time and also since we’re family, they must’ve figured taht we both dont have covid and couldnt spread it to each otehr like other random patients who are strangers to each other but still. it was. annoying.

the nurse asked me some questions about like my medical history. and all and i couldnt answer some of it bc i dont remember exact dates/times and stuff. but also she asked if i had been diagnosed with depression or anything and like if my mom wasnt in the room, i wanted to say that my mom wont let me see a therapist and/or be diagnosed. 

so like when i turned 18 i had a final check up at my former pediatrician before they kicked me out of the system lol. i am p sure that it was for shots and stuff that i needed for college???

anyways despite being 18, they had my mom in the room with me the whole time. and then they gave me a worksheet that was a basic “do you have depression” test. and the doctor left, but my mom was allowed to stay??? 

and like. since i was starting college and stuff at the time, and also was/am causing my lower middle class family great financial hardship in the form of college tuition and student loans with predatory interest rates and increasing the chances of losing our house bc, with the combo of my dad dying and the recession of the early 2000′s and general declining quality ever since earlier mentioned death, our family business sucks and we barely make any money. also my mom keeps complaining about this to me and it constantly hangs over my head and i feel guilty about being a dumbass who cant get a job and repay the stupid loans (how tf is interest rates on student loans legal??? fuck capitalism????) (uuughghgh i feel like my mom should get herself a therapist or smth instead of constantly complaining to her eldest agab child uuuhghghghgh. id make one of those eldest d*ughter jokes but im not a g*rl so eldest child lol)

anyways yeah so like 4 years ago when i was starting college and also today to a degree i felt like a massive piece of shit and had social anxiety and also probably depression that is only kept at bay by constantly distracting myself with anime and video game. and like. maybe??? i couldve benefited from talking to a therapist or counselor or getting medication????? instead of?? like?? whatever my obsession with anime and video games is???

buuuuuuut since the pediatrician let my mom stay in the room for some reason, my mom, a boomer who knows nothing of mental health and is kinda insensitive about it so its super cringe to talk to her abt stuff, was like “you’re not depressed. youre a middle class kid who’s never like starved or whatever. just answer 1 on everything.” (the scale of depression was like 1 - not feeling depressed much to 5 - i feel like this everyday.)

so yeah????? 

wow sorry doctor i cant answer half your questions about my medical history bc im either adopted and dont know my own genetics or my mom wont let me get tested for mental illness?????????????

once at 2018 or 19 tekko, i wanted to go into the dnd room and like i got so socially anxious i had a crying breakdown in the freaking hallway and had to like. sit down alone and try to look normal by playing my 3ds on the floor. like i hovered outside the door to the dnd room for a whole hour just like staring in and wanting to go in really badly but i couldnt???? i just???? cried????? in public????????? had a breakdown or something at an anime convention??????????????? i like dont even know what the heck happened 2 years ago or if that’s what it would be called but like????????? im pretty sure that mentally healthy people with no social anxiety problems dont stand outside a room for half an hour and then start crying bc you cant bring yourself to go into the room even tho the door is like wide open?????????? thankfully i finally just like went in and joined a the last game session of the day, but it was still like surreal to me?????? i just??? extremely loathed myself for like an hour for crying and not being able to walk thru a doorway it was so weird i felt like absolute garbage and im p sure that normal ppl dont go thru that??????

since i only make like. $11 an hour at a retail job im not really sure if i can even afford a therapist, and then theres also transportation and also the whole pandemic thing. but ive been thinking about like 7cups or something. there was also this other website that showed you therapists that were uniquely qualified for treating poc/queer/neurodivergent/etc., ppl in your area and there was surprisingly a few in the pittsburgh area that i could probs get to by bus, so maybe ill save money and go like. next year or something. or like. whenever the pandemic is over.

[ivorycarillon-blog]

wholesome carolclea bonding

((uploaded like five weeks later rip)) 11/12/17 bythepowerof4 heyy hi !! random but i was runnin around all angsty about the current sitch when i was suddenly like, oh my god, carolyn is also in the current sitch!! so i just wanted to check in, see how youre doing yeah? ask if you need any like. body tips lmao ivorycarillon it is certainly improving, all things considered. i’ve mostly adjusted - if you count earlier today when one of your professors called on me and instead of saying anything coherent I just screamed. involuntarily, but still.

bythepowerof4 oh yeah that happens sometimes. darn vocal cords lmao jk thats good though!! im sorry you got. kind of a bum deal :/ but you seem way put together and on top of it so thats good!!! ivorycarillon bum deal? I’m not quite familiar with the terminology but I think I grasp your meaning; in any case, I think this was good for me. bythepowerof4 oh yeah bum is bad ivorycarillon I, uh, have missed being “alive”. or so I thought. now I think I just thought having a body would make me feel better, but I miss the way things were. I see bythepowerof4 oh well yeah thats kinda what im sorry for. like. fucking up your big chance at Life and Corporeality (sp??) cause it probably wouldve been more fun in someone elses body but that sounds weird and what if-y and if you feel better then thats that and its awesome!! ivorycarillon don’t be sorry. it’s been interesting, and would have probably been boring otherwise. I’m not sure how to say this without coming off strange, so I’ll just say it?? but you have a lovely body. just takes some getting used to. bythepowerof4 oh!! oh thats not strange at all dw thats super nice!! and so do you its very floaty and ethereal and stuff which is cool its a good look ivorycarillon thank you! bythepowerof4 you're welcome !! i dont think thats right though! i dont think anyone here coulda been boring lmao. i might've kinda liked a little boring, just for a change yeah? but it wasn't gonna happen i guess ivorycarillon that makes sense. sometimes it’s hard being... special, for lack of a better word. and you’re right? everyone here has something unique about them. bythepowerof4 yeah!! its like not special is the actual specialty, a real rare commodity lmao. no boring to be found bythepowerof4 certainly nothing boring about navigating the great wide world of soundwave manipulation and also like, ghost pants. i still don't get how that works tbqh ivorycarillon to be fair neither do I I’m sure you can relate to this but being a spirit didn’t come with an instructions manual, I’ve been figuring it out as I go along since day onez bythepowerof4 that sucks. they got an instructions manual in beetlejuice. more blatant lies from hollywood, sigh!! but yeah trying to figure it all out has been like, the Hardest fucking yakka right? you make it look easy lmao big props big respect to you im like so genuinely impressed?? ivorycarillon wow? that means a lot. I’m quite glad that it looks easier than it is, aha. perhaps because I did not know you too well before this switching incident, but I didn’t peg you as the kind of person unhappy with themself and their... specialness bythepowerof4 oh well im not!! i just know its a lot to deal with i never said unhappy ivorycarillon oh, my misunderstanding. I thought we had that in common. bythepowerof4 !!! i mean its not great, really. but im not like. angst angst all the time bad. cause im still normal its just a hiccup are you like? angst angst all the time bad? or is that a weird question thats a weird question ivorycarillon it’s not a weird question bythepowerof4 are you sure it seems weird ivorycarillon it didn’t seem weird to me. and to answer it, I’m not upset all the time. I was more upset when I first died and had no clue what to do with myself. ivorycarillon more recently I only get upset when I start to think that I may have missed out on living a normal life. not this still going to school and socializing and whatnot. don’t you wonder what may have happened if you were just normal? bythepowerof4 well yeah sometimes. but i try not to cause im gonna be normal again its all temporary. all of this which probably isn't nice to hear in your circumstances but you know even if its not a normal life you're gonna have a good one!! interesting you know!! better than boring remember!! you can do all the normal stuff you want any time ivorycarillon you know, you’re right. I think I’ve been looking at things with the wrong perspective. bythepowerof4 i mean, im not trying to tell you how to run your afterlife though haha bythepowerof4 but if there's any normal life stuff you wanna do, lets just go do it right? ivorycarillon yeah! yes. maybe we should do something together. not sure if it would be before or after this ordeal, but still. bythepowerof4 that depends! have you gotten any better at the whole walking thing? cause if so i reckon you can walk those sick as legs down to the quad, where i reckon i could be waiting, with like a whole vending machines worth of snacks held very solidly in my arms, cause im getting better at that, and then you can say hi and i'll be like oh shit its carolyn hey carolyn and all the snacks fall right through me cause i got distracted and we have a good laugh about it and then enjoy both the snacks and the nice sunny day and stuff ivorycarillon I would like that very much :-)

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE

a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)

IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

uwu filo!iwa in this :)

and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song

this is my self-request uwu

HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM

onwards we goooo

hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know

ANYWAYS

so,,,,

when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing

your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move

he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had

ehehe that finna change

then the,,,, bullying thing happened

if youd like to read this part, its right here

when he saw you bloodied, all battered,

dear lordie he was finna break some ankles

ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM

like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200

ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds

god you didnt deserve any of that

you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth

ooo he was so mad

miyo was,,,, hurt??

can i say that??

i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves

but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her

he ✨ B R O K E   S O M E   A N K L E S ✨

oiks is actually scared of him after that

like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were

‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’

oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name

he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl

he wanted to see you

like right now

iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office

there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor 

you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms

‘youre okay now. im here’

he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close

you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head

but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan

makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended

‘but what about me?! i want-’

‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’

ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team

he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead

he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him

just you two

like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his

‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’

you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice

‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’

your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart

maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you

a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest

and it wasnt for the whole team

it was for him

and him alone

the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand

iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time

they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile

he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened

he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling 

thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him 

iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside

tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk

there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it

however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,

there were many polaroids

polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room

iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it

from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes

your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach

‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’

iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes

this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room

this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime

from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most

it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime

your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him

‘youre really cool, iwa-san’

you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two

iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet

‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’

he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him

‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’

you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse 

but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around

‘take your pick’

you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window

inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half

they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references

opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses

then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that

‘OH MY GOD SORRY’

he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway

ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him

iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment 

how could he see you like that?!

a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!

a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly

‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’

you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you

the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall

but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food

iwa stood up and coughed

‘im going to take a shower’

you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth

‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’

he agressively shook his head

‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’

at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down

you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching

iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were

ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS

‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’

okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way

as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized

oh my god he didnt bring clothes

LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA

iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it

well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this

sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom

what is happening

you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him 

here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together

‘dont’

he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter

‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’

you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom

when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat

he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out

iwa rolled his eyes

‘yes yes let it out’

‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’

‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’

he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it

‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’

you waved and iwa felt offended

‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’

your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you 

of course being careful to not touch your wounds

you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off

‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’

he teased

‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’

you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again

you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves 

iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes

oh my god you were beautiful

he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there

forever

it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked

‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’

he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie

‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’

your jaw dropped

‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’

later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you

‘here’

you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization

‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’

you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look

‘ha?’

you shrieked in an another round of laughter

‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’

you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder

he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart

you figured out his secret

the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler

even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection

yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him

was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?

oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice

‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’

he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure

okay that hurted me a bit

iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout

‘iwa-san, dont do that’

you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm

but iwa patted your head

‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’

you rolled your eyes but smiled at him

‘hai hai’

the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you 

but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little

one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone

‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’

he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you

‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’

you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him

‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’

he nodded proudly

‘yep’

your eyes shone with interest

‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’

the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile

mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such

he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love

yet here he was

slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is

he continued to fall with the simplest things about you

from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone

little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision

now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace

it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting

then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks

iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry

‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’

then you busted through the gym door

you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked

they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms

iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again

the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck

‘im okay, iwa-san’

you whispered in his ear and he nodded

‘let me hold you for a second’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’

the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first

iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you

‘i thought-’

‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’

you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been

and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind

the next time you came over, you actually met his parents

since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left

but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper

iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary

oof his parents were surprised

his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband

sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched

right?

‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’

then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner

you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting

oh my

so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome

his parents were freaking good looking

like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye

and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance

‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’

you mumbled, still staring at them

iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered

‘oh my!’

his mother placed a hand over her mouth

‘hello’

his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out

‘i’m hajime’s father’

you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands

‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’

you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees

iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents

‘ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’

she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you

‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’

even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying

iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets

‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’

‘t-taganese?’

‘tagalog and japanese’

you nodded in understanding

it was time to put your basic reserach to test

‘hello po’

you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go

her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!

‘i-i’

‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’

she shrieked 

‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’

okay im terrified

iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen

‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’

you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed

in their perspective,,,

‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’

ohmylord im nervous

initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie

not have a full dinner with his family

lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now

his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them

the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about

‘wow!’

you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact

iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest

‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’

you told him, looking over at his direction

while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise

he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata 

and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife

soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in

‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’

mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around

‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’

you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction

‘that one’

‘hah?’

you asked 

mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions

‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’

‘yes please’

the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in

maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass

once it was done, you both silently went back to eating

his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other

‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’

mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips

‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’

‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’

mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment

‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’

he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him

‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’

he sent you a betrayed glance

‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’

you shrugged, going back to your food

‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’

‘but you’ve seen me smile!’

‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’

‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’

mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile

hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around

yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house

and your eyes

god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love

her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same

then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there

you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed

‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’

‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’

her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say

after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room 

‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’

hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do

she was going to show him his baby pictures

you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover

‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’

stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him

‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’

you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed

‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’

he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded

‘okay. hajime, come help me’

‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’

‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’

hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around

his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps

she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color

mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades

‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’

he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change

yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it

she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips

‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’

now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home

so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused 

then he realized it

his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes

‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’

now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you 

definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now

‘iwa-san? you okay?’

you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream

‘hm, yea’

he answered to look at you

hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly

uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there

he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future

he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year

would you want to be so far away from him?

could you handle it?

‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’

you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky

‘what was it? something embarrassing?’

he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet 

‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’

iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather

‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’

were,,,, you reading his mind?

iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting

‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’

you finished and he hummed

‘times have changed, y/n’

‘even you?’

you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too

‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!

iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on

‘of course, i would’

your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes 

‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’

he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight

your body shook

‘do it, no balls’

well,,,, he has the balls

and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you

OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’

it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship

well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later

what can you say?

you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public

even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing

you were only caught by,,, guess who

mrs iwaizumi

it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends

she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing

oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming

you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys

and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall

‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’

you shrugged

‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’

but iwa had a hunch

‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’

oikawa shot him a disbelieving look

‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’

he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team

tbh they werent even surprised

like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’

they took it pretty well too

they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend

dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc

literally nothing changed

you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that

and the most important thing is,

he kept that promise

even when he was literally at the other side of the world,

he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return

OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people

a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for

his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile

‘uncle!’

she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms

‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’

she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her

‘nee-chan!’

she screeched

finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off

‘reyna, just dont do that again’

you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb

‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’

oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest

‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’

she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics

‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’

he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys

‘woooo!!!!’

kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters

tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept

‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’

‘oh can i?’

his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her

‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’

kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering

you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna

‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’

you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms

‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’

every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle

your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you

‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’

you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine

the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you

‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’

yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back

‘let them be happy’

‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’

‘eung!’

mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy

once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past

‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’

yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat

‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’

oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him

‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’

‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’

hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children

‘but-!’

they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat

‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’

you complained, remembering the frustration

your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you

‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’

you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again

that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again

‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’

you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that

‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘

you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm

‘hajime! stop!’

you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie

‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’

kyotani teased and you glared at him

‘shut up kyotani’

eyebrows were raised

‘eh? are you more hormonal?’

‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’

‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’

‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’

‘so,, like hes that good huh?’

hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba

‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’

okay what

one, did you just curse

and two, this baby?!

‘im big sister again?!’

reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued

‘WHAT!’

‘BABY?!’

‘THIS BABY?!’

you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water

‘oh the power i hold in my hands’

you teased and oikawa pointed at you

‘when! how long!’

you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead

‘apparently 3 months’

oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought

‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’

‘yep. both of them created under your house’

what 

!!!!!

hajime fainted 

oikawa screamed

a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

[nuclaer]

i’m really tired so this may be incoherent. i’ve been too stressed for weed the last couple days. i’ve bene super overwhelmed. i kind of don’t know what to do. i don’t feel like i have it together. i’m trying to be there for other people - listening to other people’s problems distracts me from my own. but i’m tired. and stressed.

my thesis is stressing me out, all my schoolwork, and most importantly my recent decision to apply to a very specific masters program that is ltierally my dream come true but im applying on the deadline so it might already be full. which is annoying bc i feel like if i had applied earlier i wouldve had a good chance of getting in. anyway ill be crushed if i dont get in and im preemptively worried bc i remember what that rejection felt like. im not telling anyone. the only person who knows is my mom but it would be a literal dream come true if i got in and went

ive also been exceedingly insecure lately. i feel unseen again. in dana’s class we spent part of class giving everyone compliments and i didnt get one until sarah gave me one, and i know she just said it bc i hadn’t gotten one. it was supposed to be for someone we didn’t know well. i feel inadequate. i can’t bring myself to socialize. i barely get myself to go to class and dance. i feel myself fading. im terrified for postgrad when all my friends are in grad school and im studying for the mcat looking for a temporary job and eventualyl applying to med school. if i get into this program then a lot of that sadness/jealousy will be eliminated.

ive also been physically insecure. ive been feeling particularly ugly and overweight lately. i don’t want to feel this way. at the cherry blossoms today i felt progressively sadder. they didn’t want to take pictures of me. it’s stupid i know, but emily was so focused on herself and i felt like i was burdening them by asking for pics or to wait up. i don’t like feeling like a burden. i’d rather be invisible. everyone compliments emily endlessly. it’s hard to be around someone who is that objectively beautiful. today anna said emily is the most beautiful person she’s ever met, and i agree. it just sucks bc it reminds me that i am the exact opposite. im trying not to feel this way

basically i’ve just been sad. i really want to try pottery. i think something like that might help once i have time for it. i should shower and get to sleep.. i also want to make itb ack to the cherry blossoms this week for myself. anyway that’s it for now