#it wouldn't be hard at all

[idjits-areus]

I can see why Dean's the way he is.

He probably thinks it's a lot easier to bottle up his feelings than to share them with others. That way he doesn't have to burden them or even acknowledge it. Because vocalizing his feelings makes them real and if Dean doesn't vocalize it then they couldn't possibly be real. Then it's all just in his head and heart.

This is also a reason why he doesn't like therapy. If he doesn't talk about it then it never happened. And if it never happened then he's good.

John's the one to blame for this to be honest. Dragging them across the United States in search of Azazel, leaving Dean alone with Sam in motel room with him for days with limited money and no clear return date. Dean essentially became both parents to Sam. He had to appear strong for Sam who was so little at the time. And, like, the whole reason Dean became this "perfect little soldier" was because A: he didn't have a choice, B: he learned young to just push down and ignore his feelings, and C: it was a way for him to feel useful and to do something good. A way for him to put all his attention on something that wasn't his mess of a life.

He puts on this brave "macho man" persona all the time because he wants people to see him as okay. That he isn't hurting on the inside. That all the deaths of the people he cared about over the years doesn't affect him. That Hell didn't affect him. Or Purgatory. Or Apocalypse Micheal. Or Mary. Or Amara. Or every single apocolyptic event that happened because if them. And, like, those are just a few things. There's so much more. He rarely lets anyone in through the cracks he has. He doesn't like to let himself be vulnerable. Probably thinks that someone would use it against him, knowing Dean. That's why he has the "no chick-flick" rule. It's not because it's girly. It's because he'd rather not acknowledge his feelings.

That's also why he never truly allowed himself into a relationship after Cassie. Once she left because of what he did for a job, he just didn't have it in him to go through that rejection again with others. Lisa is different. She knew and didn't leave him when Sam got caged. It was actually Dean that left her because he put her in danger. All because he stayed. And to him? That feeling was probably worse than the rejection from Cassie. And I think that's why when Cas truly starts becoming a part of the group that he starts to let himself feel something. Cas was already in and he wasn't going anywhere so Dean could've seen it as safe. I'm not trying to make this a destiel post. I'm just trying to state a point. That the only way he'd feel safe starting anything that wasn't going to be a one night stand was with someone who was already in.

And there's a lot more I could say. Could probably even write an essay lol. I'm leaving it here though. I think that, just maybe, you see and can get my point. That understanding why Dean is who he is isn't hard. You just have to piece some things together for it to make sense.

[hkthatgffan]

ALEX PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE HANDLE THIS MUCH BABY BILL CONTENT IN ONE YEAR! 😭🥺

"These horrible wretched babies birthed from the pen of Emmy Cicierega."

[grey-viridian]

She's cute

[inkyrainstorms]

based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)

This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer

And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors

And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit

Transcript and full image under cut

Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac

Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me

[waitineedaname]

"hualian invented love" well bingqiu invented telling your partner that if you were his mother you wouldn't have aborted him even if it killed you, so. im not sure what that is, but bingqiu sure invented it

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[ch1zzie]

Had this in my pocket for a while so here u gooooo

SCARY MONTH

[lucabyte]

Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.

[hajihiko]

[shima-draws]

IT'S LUSAN WEEK!!! I probably won't be participating the entire week but I will try my best 😤

Day One: Food | All Blue

(Thanks for hosting this @lusanluweek!)

[mamawasatesttube]

my ideal timkon don't get together until they've both already done some queer realizations and dated other guys a little bit, in part because on tim's end, i think he's been in love with kon since he was 17, but at 17 tim didn't even know he was bisexual, forget anything else. and his feelings for kon were so big but also so constant that he didn't even realize they were there or significant because they've always been there and been huge. for years. so he putters along and does his time in the torment nexus (the closet) and languishes a bit but slowly starts to figure it out.

meanwhile kon dates someone, mostly like omg im dating a guy this is ALLOWED !??!?! and its pretty lowkey and casual and doesnt last bc like . super identity issues, right. kon would Never just tell someone, but secrets and casual relationships dont last long etc etc. but just the entire principle of kon dating someone and then being like yeah idk im not really feeling it like hes nice and all but i think hes more interested in like… yknow, my hot bod, than me. its whatever tho. and tim just being SOOOOO mad that someone would date kon and not absolutely adore him. tim will not be unpacking why hes so mad about kon having a shitty boyfriend. obviously its just bc kons his bestie and deserves better. (😶)

so he's just grouchily tinkering on some upgrade for his car to get the grumpy energies out. like WHATEVER! (angrily turns socket wrench) he's not saying kon should dump the guy or anything (angrily turns socket wrench) but he's just SAYING, kon can do BETTER!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) and kon DESERVES better!!! kon deserves someone who will treat him RIGHT!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) like if TIM was gonna fuck kon he wouldn't do it like a goddamn quickie and just fucking leave (angrily grabs the next size socket and scoots further under the car) like kon OBVIOUSLY doesn't like that so why won't this guy GET THAT!!!! (angry tinkering noises) if he's that shallow he can go find himself a sexy body pillow to screw!!! leave kon alone!!!!

and cassie sitting on a chair nearby is just like. sorry what was that? "if i was gonna fuck kon"? did you just say--hey tim? hey. can you go back a step?

and tim's just. obviously this is a hypothetical everyone considers about kon. look at him he's . you know. besides, tim's just talking as his best friend who wants the best for him! ugh stop trying to read into it cassie, that's not the POINT--

[lazylittledragon]

blueberry cinnamon rolls with the recipe because people on the bird app wanted it <33

[naamahdarling]

You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

[nonasbirthday]

G1deon was really left to fight a whole resurrection beast on his own because everyone else decided to have their Real Housewives of the Mithraeum moment right then

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

[mintjeru]

technically this is for the requester but it's also for anyone who's having a hard time-- you've worked hard, good job today 💜 "alhaitham and kaveh hugging but kaveh is comforting alhaitham" for @/zarzaryyy. thank you for your donation to @hkvthm-action!!

open for better quality | no reposts