#it would have enhanced my viewing experience immensely

[cinnamonanddean]

Once again I am GUTTED that we're getting Tess doing something sexy in the mansion that we were robbed of seeing Lex do. Wildly disrespectful of them to deprive us of Lex in a candlelit bubble bath drinking champagne.

[singswan-springswan]

Behold: a little plot bunny that's been bouncing around my head. Another Kanera mermaid AU because I'm obsessed with mermaids and Kanera is love Kanera is life. Kanan's trying desperately not to blow his cover on land but gaslighting his human partner Hera is harder than he thought, especially when he can't help but save her from drowning on the occasion.

words: 1174

~

Hera knew Kanan was a skeptic—and in all fairness, she’d been one too. But before all that, he was supposed to trust her. That’d been the first thing to connect them. Her wild ideas, and his fascinated willingness to go along with them. Of course, Hera knew that he had boundaries, but they’d been difficult to find in the two years he’d been her best friend, and the fact that they existed in the first place was something of a vague notion. In any case, she never thought he’d draw the line here.

“This isn’t me being radical, Kanan.” Hera huffed, smacking the meter stick into her other hand. These days, it felt like a necessary thing to have him take her side, even if there was no solid opposition to take sides against, and even if the argument didn’t involve him. Hera just liked when he supported her, if she was honest. Which was silly. As if he didn’t support her by default as it was, here she stood now, demanding he agree with the one assertion that made him dig his heels in. 

But really, wasn’t he used to her crazy ideas by now? Surely he couldn’t be putting this past her. He should have seen it coming. She should have seen it coming too. Kriff, maybe she really was crazy, but could he at least agree with her?

Kanan propped a handsome cheekbone on his fist, elbow slanted lazily atop the messy table. Hera could stand to tidy things up in here; the galley of her beloved ship was something that should be clean on the regular. But she’d been down here all night with her murder board, and there hadn’t been time before Kanan wandered in for breakfast. He looked bored, having finished his bagel by now. There was a closed-off tolerance behind his eyes: a look so rare it made Hera frantic to have him understand.

She pointed the stick to the whiteboard on her right, where she’d pinned up photographs and newspaper clippings and a flaky array of sticky notes—all very neatly organized from her point of view, though a small voice in her head said that Kanan and perhaps a Hera who wasn’t sleep deprived would not see it the same way.

“This is me being logical. Look, I have it all thought out.”

Kanan—bless him—didn’t patronize her with a pointed sweep of the room. Hera really ought to clean up.

“There’s nothing logical about what happened.” He said in a blunt tone. At least he was focused on her, not indulging the rant with presence alone. 

“Exactly! There’s no logical explanation. Which can only mean my survival was supernatural. We both know I should have died that night—there was no chance for me to make it through the storm on my own, even with all my skill and experience—so whoever rescued me must have been specially gifted and enhanced individuals like that simply don’t exist within the human understanding of the world. Besides, I saw—”

“You imagined.” Kanan interrupted, frowning a little now, to Hera’s immense frustration. “You were half drowned by the time you made it back to shore, and that much more exhausted. On top of that, your imagination is one of the more impressive ones out there.”

Hera glared at him. “I saw,” She insisted. “Things that can’t be explained by a human understanding of the world. And you know me. I’m adaptable.”

Kanan sighed heavily and rubbed a hand against his brow. He was certainly being firm about this line, and not crossing it and such. And that was maddening to Hera. It didn’t fit his pattern of behavior to be so adamant about not believing her. Sure, this might be her craziest idea to date, but a few of her past conspiracy theories came pretty darn close and as she recalled, he’d jumped on board without a second thought. So why was this any different?

Outside, a boat motor rumbled past the marina, and the Ghost creaked pleasantly while it rocked on the wake coming in. Hera could hear the bustle of other mariners on the docks too, mingled with seagull chatter and clanging equipment. This late in the morning, the first round of fishermen were coming to port already. And she still hadn’t convinced Kanan.

“Okay,” He dropped the hands from his face and held them pressed together, fingers pointed her direction. “This is what we know.”

Hera narrowed her eyes, but she let him talk.

“You were stupid enough to take the Phantom out without me when you knew the forecast was bad, and you were caught on the open ocean when a storm rolled in. The dinghy capsized, probably on the seabed by now, with all your equipment—and you were lucky enough to wash up on shore before you drowned completely. Does that sound about right?”

Hera swung the meter stick down to smack a pile of papers in front of Kanan, eliciting a sharp noise and no reaction but an unimpressed raise of the eyebrow. “What I know,” She snapped. “Is that I should be dead. And I have one very specific person to thank for that. I was rescued, Kanan. Someone saved me: someone not human. Someone from the sea.” 

She wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t seen it herself. And although the memories from that night were fuzzy around the edges, she distinctly recalled the moment on the beach, vomiting sea water in the pouring rain, tucked into a pair of strong arms. She remembered babbling in confusion, and she remembered her rescuer vanishing in a brilliant blur of green and gold, before she could properly register the feel of scales beneath her hand. These memories weren’t products of an exhausted brain or overstimulated imagination. She knew she sounded crazy otherwise, but she couldn’t betray herself. Maybe for that reason, she was so determined to convince Kanan. She didn’t want to be crazy and alone.

But he was unimpressed with her stubborn insistence. He wasn’t patronizing, or indulgent—which would have made his disbelief worse—so small miracles. At least he had the decency to be straight with her.

“Hera,” Kanan gave her a flat look. “You know mermaids aren’t real, right?”

There was no budging on that line of his. Hera wanted to pout, cross her arms, insist that no actually she didn’t know that, and neither did he really. But they’d been at this for hours already. She’d started her rant the moment he strolled in—hair still a beautiful mess from sleep—and she’d meticulously explained every node on her murder board with fine detail, so if that hadn’t convinced him even a smidge, then whining definitely wouldn’t.

Instead, Hera drew herself up and gave him her best calculating stare. “What would it take?” She asked slowly, carefully. “To make you believe?”

Kanan crossed his arms and leaned back: the foreign picture of closed off. His lips pinched. His eyes had a wall behind them. “You couldn’t convince me.” He said plainly. “Fairytales don’t exist.”

[pm-majorstudy]

Anthony Jones AI

I came across an interesting video on AI Art by Anthony Jones (Robotpencil). In the video, Jones talks about his opinion on AI, it's impact on the industry and it's future.

I thought it would be necessary for me to watch this carefully, because Jones is a well known veteran in the concept art world, and me being one of the many artists fascinated by this uprising technology.

Jones opens by discussing how AI art is emerging and evolving at an extremely fast pace. Predictions made years ago about AI’s influence on art have come true, this gives attention to the rapid development of this technology.

One of the key points Jones makes is about the democratization of art creation through AI tools. These tools allow more people to express themselves artistically, breaking down barriers that previously limited access to art.

Despite the rise of AI, Jones reassures that artists still hold immense value due to their unique skills and creativity. AI should be viewed as another tool in the artist's toolkit, akin to past technological advancements in art. This point I agree with personally too.

It won't fully replace the artist's role but will change how workflows are structured. Artists can leverage AI to enhance their creativity, experimenting with new techniques and ideas.

Jones also addresses the potential for new job opportunities to arise from AI advancements, even as some traditional roles may be displaced. For example, the role of a "prompt engineer" could become more prominent, emphasizing the need for adaptability within the creative industry. This shift suggests that while AI will transform the landscape, it will also create new niches and specialties.

As AI-generated art begins to homogenize styles, Jones stresses the importance of maintaining artistic originality. Artists who develop a unique voice and style will stand out in a sea of AI-generated works. Additionally, fundamental skills in aesthetics and composition remain crucial, even when using AI tools. Understanding these core principles allows artists to use AI effectively while preserving their artistic integrity.

In conclusion, Anthony Jones' video provides a balanced and optimistic view of AI art. He acknowledges the challenges and concerns but also highlights the opportunities for growth and inclusivity. As artists and creators, embracing AI as a tool rather than a threat can lead to exciting new possibilities in the world of art.

I believe his perspective is valuable, as he is such a seasoned artist, and will help me form my own perspective as I progress and create future art, potentially utilising AI in the process.

References

Robotpencil. (2022). My Thoughts on AI Art. [Online Video]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEagM5KRztg (Accessed 08 June 2024)

[natasha911025]

100-200 word statement of "capturing the essence of a space".

My Experience Capturing the Main Quadrangle

The University of Sydney's Main Quadrangle left me speechless on my first visit. This spectacular building is a true Sydney landmark. During my freshman year, gazing upon it filled me with a sense of pride to be a student there and a feeling of immense peace.

For this 360-degree capture, I mounted my camera on a pole and shot two scenes:

1. crossroad entrance of the Main Quadrangle

2. the turf in front of the entrance.

Technical Details:

To ensure viewers could fully recreate my experience, I used the original audio without alterations. To enhance clarity during scene transitions, I added simple black backgrounds and white subtitles in Premiere Pro.

Areas for Improvement:

Camera Movement: Capturing the environment with more dynamic camera movement would add visual interest.

Narrative Integration: Including a personal audio narration could enhance the storytelling aspect of the video.

Challenges and Triumphs:

Initially, I encountered a setback by missing a crucial step in the process. This meant restarting the project with limited time before my deadline. I didn't have enough time to view my work through a VR headset before submission, however, Sarah's patient guidance on exporting and using Premiere Pro instilled a great deal of confidence to me.

Yu hsuan Chien (Natasha)

[arseniy-bykov]

CAS Final reflection

What did you enjoy most about CAS?

The one aspect that I enjoyed the most about CAS is the variety of experiences that it offers to develop throughout the 2-year course of IB DP. I genuinely enjoy the idea that a school encourages students to do activities outside of school so that they do not entirely immerse themselves in studying. During this short time, I was able to accomplish many objectives that otherwise I would not have done. For example, the CAS project, in which I and my friends conquered a very demanding OCR race. Without CAS, I would not be able to prepare and even think of such an intriguing challenge. Besides the CAS project, I am also proud of the bike activities I was doing at that time. They included making a ride from Warsaw to Starachowice (170km) and many practicing sessions, which were a pleasing refreshment during the high overload that IB possesses on students. As for the service activities, I engaged in numerous school open days, enhanced my building skills to help schools repair their facility, and even was able to collaboratively conduct a TEDx event in our school. The latter one, is an especially important event for me, as it was a long-term activity that without CAS I would not be able to do. Concluding, it can be said that the variety of experiences and challenges that CAS provides to students is the aspect that I most enjoy. Though one might view CAS as an unnecessary mandatory, I believe that through such a project one is able to relax and refresh oneself from the immense workload that is present in the IB, additionally fostering personal growth.

[crimechannels]

By • Olalekan Fagbade Nigeria needs your expertise, wealth of experience – Defence minister to retired officers The Minister of State for Defence, Bello Matawalle, says Nigeria still needs the expertise and wealth of experience of the retired military officers in confronting the security challenges of the nation. Matawalle said this at a dinner in honour of the Chief of Defence Staff (CDS), Gen. Christopher Musa, organised by members of Nigerian Defence Academy (NDA) 38 Regular Course Welfare Association on Saturday in Abuja. He said the experience garnered over the years as military officers would remain relevant even as they embarked on another phase of life. He added that the nation needed them as professionals and experts to bring to bear their expertise and experience in proffering solution to the myriads of challenges bedeviling the country. According to him, it is expected that they now have special time to recollect and bring forward ideas to address the problems without any hindrance. “I encourage you to, from time to time, critically brainstorm on the challenges confronting the country with a view to providing workable solution. “I want to assure you that the Ministry of Defence is ever ready to receive you as group of expert thinkers to dialogue on issues of defence and security concerns in our country. “In view of the immense training and experience of these eminent gentlemen and highly exposed security professionals, we will ensure that your time in retirement is pleasant and we will continue to take your welfare as priority at the Ministry of Defence,” he said. The minister said the efforts to move the nation forward was a collective responsibility of all, adding that God had already blessed Nigeria with enormous talented military officers. He commended the association for honouring their member who was appointed as defence chief and their continuous efforts towards the welfare of the members and the society at large. The CDS, Gen. Musa, thanked the association for celebrating, honouring him and their unwavering support and commitment to seeing him succeed as defence chief. Musa said the event also signified the acknowledgement of the collective achievements and sacrifice of the nation’s armed forces through the unwavering dedication of the brave men and women in uniform that had been able to safeguard Nigeria’s peace and unity. According to him, their selfless courage and professionalism are the pillars upon which our defence forces stand today. He said the collaboration with mation’s allies had become vital in addressing the complex challenges that it currently faced. The CDS said their training, intelligence sharing and military cooperation had played a key role in enhancing the capabilities of the Nigerian military and strengthening the national defence. “Our nation has encountered various threats to security and stability, but through unity and perseverance, we have prevailed. “The commitment and dedication of our armed forces, coupled with support of Nigerian people, have been instrumental in ensuring that our nation remains strong and secure. “I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation to the Nigerian people for their unwavering support and trust in our armed forces. “Your belief in our capabilities and your recognition of the services made by our men and women in uniform are a constant source of inspiration,” he said. The CDS said the effort of the 38RC Welfare Association had remained committed to the welfare and well-being of the society, adding that such initiatives had remained vital in fostering a strong bond between the military and civilian communities. He said the association had, through their generosity and compassion, touched the lives of many service members and their families. The President, RC38 Welfare Association, Maj. -Gen. Solomon Uduonwa, said the event was organised to celebrate their journey in the military, which began on Sept. 21, 1986. According

to him, that journey has seen erstwhile cadets transform into accomplished generals, captains of industry, top politicians and prominent traditional rulers. He described the CDS as an accomplished general who had held all available command, instruction and staff appointments and had continued to make the nation proud as a military chief. “As part of our 37th anniversary, we are gathered tonight to honor one of our most accomplished generals from 38 regular course, our own chief of defence staff, who was appointed on June 19, to save our country’s Armed Forces as the CDS. “General Musa is someone we have come to share very strong bonds of friendship over the last 37 years. “In our course, we recognised and acknowledged him as a forerunner and the first among equals in the Nigerian Defence Academy. “He dazzled a lot of us with his sportsman capabilities. He was a very prolific striker in football. He was also a basketball player. He played volleyball and somebody said he also played hockey. “It is therefore no surprise that he was chosen by the President, Commander in Chief, to lead our armed forces at this very challenging time. “We are here to celebrate a distinguished gentleman, somebody who has accomplished everything that there is in the military but still has a lot to offer Nigeria and our armed forces,” he said. Uduonwa said that 38RC had lost 34 of their members who started the journey with them 37 years ago, the last lost one being the former Director of Defence Media Operations, late Bernard Onyeuko, a retired Major General who passed on in August. The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the CDS and his wife, Mrs Oghogho Musa, were conferred with the Patron and Patroness of the association. (NAN)

[luxurybeauty]

The next big thing in beauty and blog world!

Allow me to introduce myself –

I go by the name Charece, but I've always had a fondness for my childhood nicknames, Rece or Reese. I am deeply passionate about the world of beauty and I have made it my career as a stylist and permanent makeup artist. Despite being 35 years young, my heart is filled with the joy of being a mother to eight incredible children, with another one on the way.

From a very young age, I held on to the dream of being a part of the beauty industry. I would spend hours braiding and experimenting with innovative hairstyles, and as time went on, I dedicated my entire career to the pursuit of all things related to beauty.

Through hard work and dedication, I obtained a license in permanent makeup and I am currently pursuing my studies in cosmetology. I have eagerly taken part in various trainings, constantly seeking to broaden my knowledge, refine my skills, and build an impressive professional portfolio that showcases my expertise.

Learning has always come naturally to me, particularly when it comes to visuals and hands-on experiences. When it comes to my work, I am driven by an unwavering passion and a deep commitment to delivering superior and exceptional results. My unique talent, combined with a genuine love for what I do and a strong desire to assist others, allows me to always be available to help customers both look and feel their absolute best.

I have an immense love and passion for the beauty industry. I am deeply committed to bringing about a positive transformation in how women and society perceive the beauty of women.

My unwavering dedication stems from the realization that the way we view women and their beauty has a profound impact on their self-esteem and overall well-being. It is crucial that we foster a more inclusive and empowering perspective, one that celebrates diversity and allows women to embrace their inner and outer beauty with confidence.

I firmly believe that every woman deserves to feel beautiful, regardless of societal norms and standards. Through my work, I aim to challenge these norms and pave the way for a more inclusive and accepting beauty industry.

In order to bring about this change, I have immersed myself in understanding the needs and desires of women from all walks of life. By listening to their stories and experiences, I am able to gain valuable insights into their unique perspectives on beauty.

With this knowledge, I strive to create a space where women can feel seen, heard, and celebrated for their individuality. This involves showcasing a wide range of beauty representations, including different body sizes, ethnicities, ages, and abilities. By doing so, I hope to inspire women to embrace their own unique beauty and empower them to define it for themselves.

I am committed to providing women with the tools, knowledge, and resources they need to enhance their self-confidence and cultivate a positive self-image. This includes sharing beauty tips, promoting self-care practices, and offering advice on embracing one's true authentic self.

I am also dedicated to collaborating with other like-minded individuals and organizations who share the same vision of a more inclusive and empowering beauty industry. By joining forces, we can create a collective voice that demands change and challenges the status quo.

Together, let us reshape the beauty industry and foster a society that values and appreciates the beauty of all women.

Please support us in this endeavor by following us and subscribing to my newsletter in the link below. Feel free to also join me on the platforms listed below as well.

Facebook : @reesebella

Instagram: @reeseluxmoney

[englishedventures26]

The Melody Maven: A Top-Notch Student's Symphony of Success in College!

Posted by: Paul Vincent C. Perez

Hey there, wonderful readers! Today, I want to take you on an intimate journey through my college experience—a tale of how I transitioned from being a high-achieving topnotcher in high school to a college student who embraces the beauty of life's passions while never neglecting my academic responsibilities. It's been a thrilling roller-coaster ride filled with self-discovery and valuable life lessons, and I can't wait to share it all with you. So, come join me as I delve into my college life and the many thoughts and reflections that have shaped my path.

Back in high school, I was undoubtedly the epitome of a hardworking and dedicated student. I aimed for perfection in every subject, and my determination to excel earned me the title of topnotcher. I thrived on the validation of my teachers and peers, and there was a sense of pride in knowing that my hard work paid off. But as I stepped into college, I knew I wanted more than just academic accolades—I wanted to savor the various flavors life had to offer beyond the confines of textbooks. In college, the magnetic pull of my true passions became undeniable. Church activities held a special place in my heart—it was where my soul found solace and my voice found purpose in leading worship. The sense of community and shared faith with my fellow churchgoers brought immense joy and fulfillment to my life. It was during these moments of worship that I felt a profound connection to something greater than myself, and it fueled my desire to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. Of course, how could I resist the allure of travel and adventure? Exploring new places, immersing myself in different cultures, and making memories with friends became an essential part of my college journey. The experiences I gained from traveling expanded my horizons, nourishing my mind and soul. Witnessing the diversity of the world and connecting with people from different backgrounds taught me invaluable life lessons about empathy, open-mindedness, and appreciation for the beauty of diversity.

Now, you might be wondering how I managed to strike a balance between these vibrant passions and my academic responsibilities. Well, it wasn't always easy, but it was definitely worth it. I learned the art of setting low expectations for myself—not to undermine my abilities, but to give myself the freedom to fully enjoy my passions without the constant pressure of perfection. In finding this balance, I developed a structured routine that allowed me to indulge in my interests while ensuring that my studies weren't left behind. Time management became my closest ally as I learned to prioritize tasks and allocate time wisely. There were days when I had to make tough choices between music practice and study sessions, but I embraced the art of compromise to make it work. In my pursuit of passion, I never lost sight of the importance of my education. My college years were an incredible opportunity for growth and learning, and I made a promise to myself to give my best effort to whatever tasks my subjects required me to do. I found that being passionate about my studies enhanced my ability to comprehend and retain information. It was no longer about studying for the sake of grades; it was about equipping myself with knowledge and skills that would serve me well beyond the classroom.

But like any journey, there were challenges along the way. I encountered moments when my grades didn't meet my expectations, and I faced the occasional setback. However, I didn't allow these moments to define me. Instead, I took them as valuable lessons—lessons that taught me to balance my priorities even better. I discovered the power of resilience, learning how to pick myself up after a fall and continuing to give my best shot. The key was not making a big deal out of failure, but rather viewing it as an opportunity to grow and fine-tune my path. These experiences taught me the importance of self-compassion, understanding that it's okay to stumble sometimes as long as I learned and grew from those experiences.

Through it all, I realized that being an easy-going person didn't mean being careless. I am intelligent and smart, and I channel that intelligence into both my academic pursuits and my personal passions. It's a beautiful harmony that intertwines my love for learning with my love for life. So, to my fellow college students out there, I want to leave you with this central message: Embrace your passions without fear and set low expectations when needed. Pursue the symphony of life, let it fill your heart with joy, and know that your intelligence shines through even amidst the pursuit of diverse passions. Life is a beautiful melody, and it's up to you to create your own symphony!

Thank you for joining me on this journey of finding balance, passion, and self-discovery. Until next time, keep chasing your dreams and embracing life's unique melody!

[demonir]

Ok lmao I literally watched emesis blue with my mom last night here’s what I did, I originally was just gonna say it in tags but I got a lot to say apparently bc I love to yap

Also I know this post is hours old so I might be late but I still wanna share ✌️

MOVIE SPOILERS AHEAD, THEY WILL BE MARKED

Watching the movie doesn’t require in depth knowledge of the source thankfully but some surface knowledge would enhance the experience such as “two ugly old brothers have 2 teams of mercenaries fighting each other in a worthless war in New Mexico in the 1960s, also when they die they come back to life and it’s called respawning in game terms” this all depends on if you’ve already told your dad abt tf2 or not I uhh… had infodumped for 4 hours prior to watching the movie with my mom lmao

Key info that I think should be mentioned: that RED and BLU are acronyms and they will be mentioned in the movie as well (mainly Builders League) - Also that RED and BLU look identical and it’s on purpose, this might be confusing to a bystander - Also explain what the medigun is and the concept of rocket jumping since both are mentioned or at least implied and someone that doesn’t know might not understand shit (mainly the medigun, I feel most people can figure out the rocket jumping part from context alone but the medigun “looks like the ghostbusters thing” according to my 53 year old mother)

I advice mentioning beforehand that the movie is psychological horror and very violent just in case, if your dad is not one for confusing and time bending plots you might have a lot of explaining to do and it’s fine if you say you don’t get it bc truly it’s like that on purpose

This is just a general note that I think is immensely useful and everyone should know: Emesis Blue comes with subtitles in a lot of languages, I watched it with Spanish ones for my mom and they were very well made idk abt the others but I assume they are too. If you don’t need them in another language English is still there as well (and they are very helpful for parts where audio might be hard to understand such as the phone calls)

You might sound annoying but specifying that paying attention to the movie is important is a good thing bc truly I had to go back a few seconds sometimes because my mom missed something and she immediately got confused because missing the plot is THAT easy with this movie

Cool pieces of trivia to mention during the movie or after:

(EMESIS BLUE SPOILERS AND “M” SPOILERS) The tapes Medic has are mostly old real German movies, the movie scout picks up titled “M” is a movie about a child serial killer and the symbolism of the “M” will be prevalent throughout the movie and parallel Medic’s journey as well in fact, the scene at scouts house when he’s watching said move he receives the phone call right when the murderer finds his fist victim and if I remember correctly later on the tv shows the scene where the murderer has been caught and it also directly parallels the scene in emesis blue. ALSO the fact medic gets literally an “M” branded on his face at one point which happens in the German movie to the killer (he gets marked with an M on his back so that they could find him later). Btw the movie “M” is free on YouTube with English subtitles, all of it and contains no gore (it’s a good watch)

The movie is fan made with a free software released by Valve that’s now pretty fucken old, I think emphasizing this can bring into view how cool this is from both an artistic and technical view (while I think that the SFM models are different from the in game models they were still made years ago)

(SPOILER) The burned pyro face we see momentarily in the movie is an actual game asset from another one of valve’s games (I believe half life?) which depicts a burn victim except it’s an ACTUAL REAL burn victim and the texture used came from a real medical book (I loved telling this to my mom bc I saw the disgust in her face lmao)

You can for a fraction of a second see the 2fort cow when Medic is running away from the masked Heavy for the first time, I believe just saying that the cardboard cow is a running gag is enough explanation and it makes it funny (my mom thought it was a real cow and saw no issue with it being there bc it was a “slaughterhouse” after all)

You could mention that the Conagher Slaughterhouse is an actual in game map although edited

(SEMI SPOILER) The engineer(s) have no eyes because their models simply were not made with the idea to take off the goggles ever, this is being used for added horror factor

(SPOILERS) The movie has lots of references to other movies and pieces of media but I genuinely don’t remember the names right now, most specific thing I remember is soldier’s attempt to cross a broken bridge but falling being a possible parallel to a story of a man trying to escape hell and go to heaven but directly falling into the deepest layers of hell instead (I’d really appreciate if someone remembers the actual references and could list them, if not I might go look them up again and reblog again with the list) (EVEN BIGGER SPOILERS) also the fact we never truly find out the contents of the briefcase is a reference to another famous movie with almost the same plot line

That’s all for trivia I can remember rn, I asked my mom what she’d like to say/recommend about the movie for another parent to watch and here’s what she had to say:

Talk about it like you would any movie, explain the overall plot or a bit of it to catch attention and raise interest

It’s a really good movie that makes you think a lot and has an interesting plot that holds well even if you’re not into the source it comes from

Do not mention the fact that it’s gonna leave you with more questions than answers

Besides this she agreed with what I said before so 👍

That’s all from me hope it helps you or anyone else or just gives you some funny trivia idk also if anyone knows more or better or saw that I got smth wrong feel free to let me know, I watched the movie again last night but a lot of the trivia I knew from months ago so I might be remembering it wrong (I tend to do that)

Have fun 👍

Okay y'all, tomorrow I'm going to be forcing my dad to watch Emesis Blue. Any advice you have for him that you want me to tell him? Or context or anything like that because I suck at giving advise and context

[painless-innit-colourful]

oooo ok:

🙂, 👼, 🧨, 💏, and also the question about staged finale, the emoji wasn't showing up for me.

Thanks for the ask!

🙂 - Should Dream get a redemption arc?

NO! :) I want to see that motherf'cker absolutely go to town on the big bad evil front. I'm talking the return of the S2 dominance and control, perhaps flavoured with some of the string-pulling puppet master of S1 - hiding in the walls, hiding in the walls. I really liked the Sam Prison streams because it brought that back: the lying, the manipulation, the brutality. I want that b'stard to stand at the top of the world and laugh, and then I want him to have his throne pulled out from under him, and I want to watch him fall and die surrounded by the people he once called friends. So yeah, I don't want a c!Dream redemption arc. I want him to be worse, and then I want him to be killed by Sapnap or Tubbo or Tommy. I don't think there's a satisfying ending to the DSMP where Dream is redeemed.

👼 - Should Friend/Shroud/Michael/Fran be off limits for greifing?

My answer here is going to be pretty similar to someone else's I've seen, but it is as follows: Friend no, Shroud, Michael and Fran yes. Friend has died so many times now it basically doesn't matter: Ghostbur's in limbo, so the main emotional crux is gone, and besides, Friend has infinite canon lives :') Shroud doesn't really matter lore-wise, nor do we know if cc!Tommy is attached to him (he seems to be, but he's perpetually semi-in-character on the DSMP), but we inniters here on tumblr have become so attached I will personally go to war for that spider. Michael, to quote Technoblade, is a BABY. Killing him would be so depressing. I liked the kidnapping plot because we got to see Tubbo go off but thank goodness he's home safe. And finally, Fran deserves pensioner's protection. She's been around so long, the server's oldest pet deserves to retire from this bs and chill.

🧨 - Who is most at fault for November 16th?

Okay, here we go. A lot of people share blame for the undue... everything that happened on Nov 16th. Wilbur, Schlatt, Philza, Bad and Antfrost, Eret (from previous events); I could go on about all of them for a while. But if I had to narrow it down, it would absolutely be Dream and Technoblade. I firmly believe the point of no return was crossed when Techno fired at Tubbo. In that moment, the peace shattered. Wilbur heard it from the button room, and I bet in his mind it was the last piece of confirmation he needed to be convinced the old, peaceful, wonderful L'Manberg was dead and buried. In fact, it was in the moments before Techno shot that Dream dropped in that there in fact was a traitor! Maybe, just maybe, someone would've worked out where Wilbur was if Techno hadn't started monologing...

But on the level above Techno, supreme sh't himself, Dream. He egged Techno into attacking on Nov 16th while Tubbo was making his speech. He pushed Wilbur down his dark path from the shadows and provided him with the TNT. He supported Schlatt after obtaining the revive book, let him die in the camarvan, then laughed when L'Manberg exploded. He orchestrated everyone's downfalls. Right before he died, Wilbur said "Manberg didn't win, Pogtopia didn't win. I won." Really, I think the winner in this war was Dream.

💏 - Is TNTduo /r?

YES. OH MY GOD. Okay, romantic? Maybe not (as the aromantic in the room, I'm contractually obligated to say that), but! They absolutely did it during Manberg/Pogtopia. Sorry Wilbur Soot. I refuse to believe there was not an affair, in which two stressed out, tired idiots with too much sexual tension ran into each other in the wrong place at the right time and decided, "f'ck it." Enhances the Las Nevadas viewing experience immensely. That's just how it is when you both know something about each other no one else in the room does.

🥸 - Did Staged Finale negatively impact Punz/Tommy's character arc?

Okay, you should have not have enabled me to talk about the Staged Finale thing, because I have had this rant simmering since November. I don't think it really negatively affects Tommy's arc - Punz and him didn't interact much during S3. However! My second biggest issue with it is that it means Punz's character doesn't really make any sense in hindsight. And my biggest issue with it is that it really messes with the theme of the season being attachment.

Firstly, Punz. Before Staged Finale, I quite liked Punz. A mercenary whom Dream was far too trusting of, originally keeping tabs on the L'Manbergians (who remembers the S P Y tweet from the eve of Doomsday?) who either receives a bigger payout from Tommy, or takes pity on the kid, and leads the greater population of the SMP to Dream's evil lair just in time to save them. I personally like the latter interpretation: it later lined up even better when, after Punz was told Tommy was killed in the prison, he said "But I saved him..." despite being very under the Egg's influence. And his Egg involvement was cool!

And then Staged Finale happened, and he was just... on Dream's side the whole time? What, he got monumentally distracted by the Egg? Dream didn't seem to trust him to get him out in the first place, considering how he left the blueprints specifically in a place Techno would recognise. And the bit that really annoys me is that Tommy death line. There's no need for that line. Punz is in with the Eggpire, and Puffy's already p'ssed at them. He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. Why say it if you genuinely didn't care about the kid? And then, when Dream gets out, they're all buddy buddy again. It doesn't line up to me.

(I am not going to talk at length about how little sense Staged Finale makes overall because I need to eat at some point tonight, but just know I think it makes no sense. Why the hell would you intentionally get yourself trapped in a maximum security prison. Why would you want the whole server to see you about to kill someone they generally like. None of it makes a lick of sense and I like to ignore it at every opportunity.)

And finally, my theme rant. Themes in media and literature mean a lot to me. The theme of S2 is Attachment, and it's the easiest one to determine. The whole season is laced with it: the pursuit of the discs, the compasses representing Tommy and Tubbo's attachment to the other, the Butcher Army threatening Carl, New L'Manberg and Ghostbur and Friend and Doomsday, and the goddam hall of attachments in the finale. Dream even tells Tommy he's important because he brought countries and caring for items and pets and attachment to the server. Attachment is the key.

Tommy's interactions with this theme are always that it's worth it, even when it hurts. He has to keep pursuing the discs. He fights for L'Manberg because it's what he has left of Wilbur. Even after Dream's 'I cut all my attachments and it made me stronger' speech, he responds simply "How do you not hurt?", unable to imagine an existence where he doesn't care deeply. And in the end, attachment saves him. When Punz tells people what he told them, they go because they care about these two kids enough to come to their aid.

And Dream? He cuts all his attachments off, refusing to care about items, cutting off Sapnap and George as early as the start of S2 so they can never be used against him. And then Sapnap comes to put himself between Dream and the Clingy Duo when it matters. Because he cut all his attachments (except to Tommy), he has no one left to defend him, and so is thrown in the prison to rot for a year and be tortured until Techno breaks him out to repay the favour. Staged Finale throws a massive spanner in that because it undermines the simple message of the S2 finale: attachment saved Tommy and Tubbo, and cutting his brought down Dream. If Dream has Punz, his status as the lone wolf who thought he could control the server by being above it all is undercut by the fact it's all a ploy. This is the part that annoys me most about it, because the theme and resolution previously worked so well.

At the end of the day, I mostly choose to forget Staged Finale happened, and I will probably continue to ignore it unless they make something cool out of this weird twist. And it's not hard to please me with this kind of stuff, so we'll see. I may be a convert yet.

[iron--spider]

Okay, so. Cherry. I loved Cherry. 

Behind the cut is a review of sorts, with some spoilers and some loving and some bitching! It’s very, very long.

The reviews and responses have been rolling in for months now, and there have been a few notorious critiques that had me worried. As most people who follow this blog know, I’m not the biggest fan of the Russos, for reasons that are obvious lmfao. I was hoping this would be a different situation, especially since I’ve gotten to watch a LOT of interviews where they’ve discussed why they made certain choices in the film, why it’s so personal to them, etc. But the early reactions really got me nervous and I was worried they’d botched this one. I got an early screening on February 12th through American Cinematheque, and I went in looking forward to Tom and anxious about everything else.

 I loved it. I loved every single choice that was made, on every single level. I’d like to preface this by saying I absolutely hated the book. Sure, it had moments, shining lines here and there, but overall I felt nothing for the main character and the stream of consciousness and the way the events were presented. The absolute lack of an ending. When I read the book I already knew Tom was gonna be in the movie, so I was building what I wanted the film to look like in my head.

 The narration. I knew we would need that to keep the story grounded, to give it a center, and they included that and it worked so beautifully. Breaking the fourth wall. The entire book you feel like this guy is talking to you, and if there was anything to carry over, it was that connection with the audience, but they enhanced it by paring it down and using his eye contact and words to us sparingly. A solid, almost unreliable POV from the main character, which they included in spades with all their different stylistic choices, from the different lenses to the names of the banks and the authority figures to the lack of information about particular things to the quick cuts in certain places and lingering shots in others. The stylistic choices were one of the main things, if not THE main thing, everybody has been complaining about, and I was truly sitting here expecting something outrageous. But it all flowed beautifully, it all felt extremely purposeful, and none of it took me out of the moment. In fact, all of it immersed me even deeper in the movie and the story, and made the lead even more real. We were seeing it all through his eyes, through his feelings, through his changing circumstances. It was an EXPERIENCE to me, a journey that needed these particular choices. I feel like the whole thing would have been more of an uphill battle had they not done the six chapters, so that’s another choice I felt like added to the film in a positive way and made it better. It also highlighted the changes that the main character was going through in such an excellent fashion, and added to the whole ‘odyssey’ feel.

 Before I get into speaking about Tom, I will speak critically for a second. I’ve seen this thing four times now, three viewings before the review embargo was up and one after. I tried to watch it from a different headspace and see what they were talking about. My opinion never really changed drastically, but I can acknowledge some things. I loved the ‘breaking the fourth wall’, but I do think there could have been more of it. It enhanced the movie a lot for me and there were a couple more moments where I could have gone for it (though I think people do miss some of the eye contact moments, such as the one in the car during the whole thing between James and Pills&Coke). I think the entire bit in the beginning is absolutely necessary to get to know our character and understand where he’s beginning, what his circumstances are, but I do think it pales in comparison to the rest of the movie. I didn’t notice the first couple times, but while he’s in the doctor’s office discussing pain levels/PTSD, there’s a cut to the doctor that’s literally a millisecond long that was pretty unnecessary. I can also say that the scene with Tommy (drunk guy in the bar) was one of those moments from the book that didn’t need to be included, though it’s clear that they were trying to test the character’s mettle for the upcoming war he’d have to participate in because of his bad choices, and it was also a look at a version of what he could (would) become after he got home. But it didn’t really need to be in there.

 Those are literally the only things I “didn’t like”, and even then that’s the wrong phrasing, because I liked everything lmfao.

 Ciara was a casting choice I questioned initially, purely because she has such a young-looking face, but I was completely incorrect about doubting her. She killed it. She’s such a natural actress and she was able to meet Tom beat by beat in such a difficult story. Their chemistry was lovely. In fact, I loved all of the supporting characters and what they added to the story. They made the whole experience that much more real.

 Now, Tom. I mean. You guys know I love him and a lot of people like to say that if you have a bias towards someone, your opinion counts less when it comes to judging them. But I feel like there’s a reason why I have this bias to begin with, and it’s because Tom’s talent is just undeniable. He always pulls me in, he always makes me excited for what’s next, he is everything I want to see in an actor. He brought Peter to life in a way that had never been done before, and he uplifts every single movie he touches. This one really gets me particularly emotional because he’s said on so many different occasions that Cherry means a lot to him, because of the work he put in and because of the message it carries and because of the people he met and learned about during the whole process. I just—there are hardly any words big enough or meaningful enough to even describe his performance. It’s one for the ages. It’s agonizing and heartbreaking and mammoth. It is truly special. I know that they changed the book a lot, so this is based on a real person and his real experiences, but in the end it’s more of a composite of what Nico was at the time and not an exact replica—so I feel safe in saying that Tom, through this huge, powerhouse of a performance, created an entire person that felt so, so real. You can feel his past and all the memories in his head and the way he thinks about things. You can imagine what he’d say about something in a scene without him actually saying it. This character changes so drastically from the first scene to the last, and yet you still feel like you know him as he progresses through his journey. Tom expertly weathers every single nuance, every time the character experiences a moment that will push him further into darkness, every hesitation despite falling headfirst into such mistakes. I love Tom because he’s so subtle even in his bigger moments, and by this I mean he’s always got layers upon layers upon layers going on in each individual moment. Like the hospital scene in particular, after Emily’s overdose. There’s so much going on with Tom’s character there, from the deep horror in possibly losing the love of his life, to the heavy shame he feels in having facilitated her journey here. Just the way his voice hitches as he tries to help, while still hiding what they’ve done. The way he avoids the nurses’ gazes as he’s trying to connect with them to get an answer about her well-being. The way he almost deflates when he finally reveals that she took heroin. He is phenomenal. Every moment and every movement tells you more about this character, and that’s just down to Tom’s incredible talent. 

 Tom deep dives into every moment and commits fully. People have asked me what my favorite scene in this film is and it’s so hard because the entire thing is just a showcase of just how good he is. The bus station scene in particular stands out, because it’s one of those moments where he just truly disappears. The entire movie you hardly remember you’re watching Tom, but in that scene it’s like you’re there, like you’re actually witnessing this heart wrenching moment between two broken people. The way he shrinks into himself with that horrific shame after what’s happened to her. The complete and utter pain in his eyes when she tells him there’s no stopping what she plans to do. Tom never ever seems like one of those actors who knows what’s coming, who has rehearsed this moment or that moment over and over and over again. Everything is natural, everything comes as it comes and that’s why what he does feels so real. He isn’t acting. He is becoming.

 The Russos have said more than one time that they chose Tom for this role because he’s so likable and you feel empathy and sympathy for him, and that’s also one of the best changes from the book. The character feels so far from you in the book, you feel so disconnected from him, but Tom just has something that connects you with him, that makes you root for him. Every single time. He’s one of the most immensely watchable actors I’ve ever seen. If this was any other “indie” actor, any of the Hollywood favorite directors, I know this film would have been an awards darling. 

 That leads me to how critics are behaving. This movie was not the movie they made it out to be. They have loved films that are so much more outrageous in terms of story and filmmaking choices, and yet they’re acting like this is the craziest most off the wall thing they’ve ever seen. It’s really really whack and over the top to me. These ~film~ people, professionals and “film Twitter” have gotten it in their heads that as soon as someone is involved with Marvel movies that they’re suddenly damaged goods, can’t act, can’t do their jobs. I feel like Scarlett is the only one who’s escaped from this, with JoJo and Marriage Story, though the latter did get some slack, too. It drives me insane when all of these people writing about Tom are like “oh this is such a departure from Spider-Man!” No, Spider-Man is a departure from all his previous films. The vast majority of his movies are dramas. His first movie was The Impossible! But despite all this, critics love to shit on him and bring him down because he’s Spider-Man. It absolutely doesn’t help that this was helmed by the Russos, in fact it hurts the situation even more. Critics revel in bringing them down, in acting like they’re glorified for no reason. And like I said, they’re not my favorite, but these critics knew what their opinion was gonna be before they even watched Cherry. And they held onto that no matter what they actually felt. Thankfully, MOST of them are acknowledging how wonderful and impressive Tom was. But whatever score this movie has on RT now (a site that should be abolished, frankly) it doesn’t deserve something so low. 

 I understand film is subjective. But these people don’t seem to. I hate the gleeful “Cherry is bad!” bullshit, which goes beyond criticism so many times, is always extremely exaggerated, and acts as if because this particular person believes it’s bad, then everyone else should as well, and if they don’t, they don’t understand film. I’m tired of this shit and I’m tired of them underestimating and trying to stop Tom in his tracks. They want so desperately for this MARVEL BAD narrative to be true that they’ll rip these people apart whenever they get the opportunity. It felt very strange to have already seen the movie when the embargo was lifted, because it was like “did they see the same movie I saw?”

 After all that, I’d just like to say, do not be influenced by people like that. That’s what they want. They want you to listen to them and completely write off the movie, forgoing to see it at all. Please make your own decisions—if you love Tom, this is not something to be missed. He is a revelation. I personally, and wholeheartedly, think it was a beautiful movie. I’m gonna watch it again. It reminded me of so many of my favorites, and it rose above them too. It did not shy away from its subject, it is a cautionary tale, but it is told with love, with care and with kindness. It’s clear this was done by people who are close to the subject, who want people who struggle with PTSD and drug use to come out of the shadows they’re forced into and get the help they deserve. Cherry is so rewatchable to me, and it’s so staggering to see Tom just shine here. He is the best actor of his generation. And he’s only getting better.

[kabira]

05 | job hunting

pairing — spider-man!vernon x ofc

featuring — joshua, yeji (itzy), felix (skz), yangyang (nct)

word count — 2.9k

genres — spider-man au, marvel au, fluff, action, angst, humor

warnings — none

note — so...you might have noticed some changes to the pairing. i’ve decided to go ahead and convert this to an x ofc fic because when it’s a 3rd person pov thing the ‘you’ pronoun kind of jumps out at you and it just sounds really unnatural lol. she’s been left race-ambiguous in the description, and she’s pretty cool, so i hope you like her !! even though she doesn’t show up very often djskalskjs

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Vernon stepped out into the open, finding himself on the highest level of the Helicarrier—not the top floor, but the deck itself.

The wind was strong, pushed by the rotator blades keeping the carrier in the air, and he shivered on feeling the sudden chill descend upon him. He hesitated, resting his palm against the side of one of the structures containing the blades, and glanced around. The aircraft was massive, big enough that despite being right next to the Quinjet runway, he couldn’t see any of the city beneath.

When he finally spotted White Tiger, she was sitting near the edge, mask in hand. At first, he was apprehensive about her being spotted, but when he got close enough, he realized they were way to high for anyone on the ground to be able to make out her features.

New York was easily a couple thousand feet below them, the tallest buildings looking like toy figurines from the high vantage point. The harbor glittered a dark blue-green underneath them, catching the dying light of the sunshine like little stars contained in the water. It was a breathtaking sight, so beautiful that it washed away Vernon’s initial fear as easily as a wave clearing away dug letters on a sandy beach.

He glanced at Yeji, pressing his teeth against his lower lip. She had her back to him, shoulders tensed—of course she would have heard him approach. Her hair was still up in a ponytail, but swayed lightly with the breeze. Even as he stood behind her, she said nothing, remaining silent and stony as she stared down at the view below.

“It’s nice up here,” he murmured. “Unless you have a crippling fear of heights, that is.”

Silence.

Vernon sighed to himself, slowly taking a seat next to her on the sun-heated deck, and pulled off his mask. The air was cool against his sweat-soaked skin, but did nothing to set his heart at ease. That was the hard part, one he had to figure out himself.

“So, White Tiger, huh?” he asked, scrunching up his nose as he looked at her sideways. Her chin rested on her folded forearms, which were balanced against her knees, legs crossed at the ankles. It should have been a relaxed posture, but her muscles were too tense, standing out like steel cables on her arms and sides. “Do your powers have anything to do with that jade amulet you wear?”

She unfolded herself, unconsciously touching the amulet that hung from one side of her gray belt. It was a vibrant green color, looking fragile like glass, but despite her generally offensive style of fighting, there wasn’t a single scratch on it. “It was my father’s,” she answered dully. “And my grandfather’s before him. The amulet is a family heirloom that passed down to me when the rest of my family died, and with it, the powers it bestows upon the bearer.”

“Oh,” he said, a little surprised. He hadn’t expected her to speak, but she had opened up, despite the still guarded tone of her voice. He pulled his knees up to his chest and looked out at the view, feeling calmer than before, but also a lot more awkward. “Are you afraid of the water?”

She glanced over at him, a confused scowl on her face. “What?”

“The water,” he repeated, indicating the harbor with a tilt of his head. “Aren’t cats supposed to be scared of water or something?”

Her eyes narrowed, but not before he caught the glimmer of amusement in them. “I’m not a cat,” she said. “The amulet gives me the agility and tenacity of a white tiger, but not all its fears. Are you afraid of house lizards, spider boy?”

“Well, one in particular.” He half-smiled. “But he’s back to human now, so I guess not really.”

She gave him a small smile back, one that indicated she got the joke. It wasn’t a big gesture, but it made him feel a bit better—which was funny, since he was the one supposed to be comforting her. He recalled Luce’s words from their earlier conversation. There’s no harm in being decent.

“Look,” he started, reaching up to rub the side of his neck, “I’m sorry about what I said back there. You said you knew I didn’t like you guys, but that’s not true. It’s just—it’s a sudden change,” he mumbled. “To have a whole team of supers in the school, and so soon after the—incident, it just set me off.”

She said nothing, waiting for him to continue. He shook his head. “You probably don’t know what happened a few weeks ago, and what happened, it’s not your fault. Heck, it doesn’t even have anything to do with you.” He laughed weakly. “The incident that took place, it followed a regular pattern I already should have known. When superhero stuff and real life mix, nothing good comes out of it. I wasn’t prepared for you guys, and I took it badly. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Yeji hummed. For a few moments, they sat in silence, but it was a comfortable sort of silence. For Vernon, it felt good to get all of that off his chest. It was hard to admit to something because of his pride, but putting it out there made him feel a bit better. No one liked seeing their faults, but to him, it was better than hurting someone he didn’t really want to hurt. In a way, even the superheroes around him were innocent people who could become collateral damage.

“What incident?” she asked.

He glanced at her, a little confused. She stared back at him with her eyebrows arched, as if expecting him to say something. “Sorry, what?”

“I told you about my family, how I came to be in possession of my powers,” she said. “Your turn. What incident were you talking about?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, staring at her thoughtfully. “Do you know Harry Osborn?” he asked at length.

She nodded. “The Goblin—I mean, Norman Osborn’s son.” She gave him a curious look. “Wasn’t he at Midtown with you?”

“Yeah.” He looked away again, studying the lenses of his mask. Speaking about it was difficult, and he wasn’t too sure about instantly opening up about such a horrific incident to someone he had met two days ago, but his instinct told him he could trust White Tiger. Either way, there was no harm in talking about that day, at least not the general aspects of it. “And you probably also know about how Norman Osborn was taken down.”

She nodded again, slower this time, looking thoughtful. “Wasn’t there a bargaining chip of some kind involved?” she asked. “Wait, sorry. I meant a human hostage.”

“Yeah,” Vernon murmured. He hung his head, running his spandex-covered fingers over the cloth of his mask, swallowing hard against the sudden dryness in his throat, but it hurt to do that, like there was a thorn stuck in his flesh. “Long story short, Harry Osborn…well.”

Yeji glanced at him in surprised concern, and he looked away, avoiding her gaze. Now would come the pitying glance, the awkward condolences, the unsure silence. He had had enough of that in the past few weeks.

“I get it,” she said, to his immense surprise. When he looked back at her, her eyes were sad, but there was a firmness beneath them, like stable ground at the bottom of the river. Even if she didn’t quite know all the details, they both spoke the language of loss, and it didn’t need words to be understood.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said.

“I won’t.” She turned her face away, towards the sky, and he followed suit. The silence this time was more than comfortable, it was comforting. “No more details?”

Despite himself, he smiled. “Not yet,” he replied. “You have to get past level twenty first.”

She snorted a laugh. “I don’t really play video games,” she answered. “It’s a little difficult to fit in when you live in the same quarters as a couple of teenage boys, but I can’t do anything about it.”

“Really? You can drop by after school sometimes and I’ll show you.” He grinned, then grimaced. “Or maybe Aunt May can. I’m not the best at them, she kicks my butt on Night game night every time.”

“She sounds amazing already. I can’t wait to meet her,” Yeji said, smiling. “And while we’re on the subject of family—argh, I’m totally going to sound like Agent Fox, but here’s the thing.” She shifted her weight, sitting with her legs crisscrossed. “I know it’s hard to deal with loss, and that it’s different for everybody, but protectors feel guilt on a different level than everybody else—and you can’t carry that kind of weight around with you.”

Vernon picked at a small cut on the leg of his costume. “Agent Fox,” he repeated. “You too, huh?”

Yeji winced. “Therapists aren’t really equipped to deal with our kind of experiences,” she said. “I mean, what do you say to someone who had to physically fight their best friend’s dad because he turned into a genetically enhanced green monster?”

He laughed.

“Agent Fox might not be your best bet, but there are other things you can try,” she continued. “I know you probably don’t want some kind of preachy advice, but for me, being White Tiger helped.” She ran her fingers along the grooves of her amulet again, as if deriving comfort through its touch. “Doing something, even little things that just keep your mind off the past, it helps.”

He thought back to Luce’s words. “Like getting a job?”

Yeji frowned. “I guess,” she said. “If it doesn’t take over your time as Spider-Man, that is.”

“That’s twice in a day someone’s advised me to get a job,” he said. “Maybe I really should go ahead and get one.”

“Maybe you should,” she agreed. “But I have a feeling most normal jobs won’t interest you. If you’re going to work, might as well work on something you’ll enjoy.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, the gears of his brain already having been kicked into action. “I think I already have something in mind.”

The last time Vernon had met Dr. Curt Connors, it had been as Spider-Man.

It was not an experience he had particularly enjoyed, since it had been one of his bigger fights had had left him with a hairline fracture and a few bruised ribs, holed up in his room for a week to nurse himself. Gym had been worse than usual that Tuesday.

As he pushed through the revolving doors at the entrance of Roxxon Industries, he was already beginning to regret his decision a little bit. Sure, there was no way that Dr. Connors could know his secret alter ego, but the knowledge didn’t help his nervousness one bit.

Plus, with Oscorp pretty much in ruins, the research scientist had shifted his work to a different corporation, and Vernon didn’t know his way around the new building at all. It was a tiny thing to be so worried about, especially for a person who had faced Doc Ock at the age of sixteen, but even the little things seemed big now that he was out job hunting.

Vernon clutched his father’s briefcase tighter, taking his visitor’s pass from the front desk and heading up the escalator to the designated room. Dr. Connors had met Vernon Parker exactly once before, when the latter had shown up at his old laboratory asking about his father, Richard Parker, Connors’s former colleague.

Back then, their conversation had been cut short by a Spidey emergency, and after that the only time he’d been able to see the doctor was while battling him as the Lizard. Vernon had been too afraid to go back afterwards, scared of the decades old formula Connors had developed which turned him into the monster, and what he might discover about his father’s work.

But Dr. Connors had made him a proposal that the boy remembered three months later—that Vernon was always welcome to come work at his lab. Now, the idea of being a simple research assistant didn’t sound very great, especially when the project was so controversial that its funding had been hanging by a thread even at Oscorp, where they weren’t exactly known for their safe experiments. However, biophysics had always been fascinating to him, not to mention the fact that it was his father’s legacy.

He guessed it was about time he went back to claim it.

Vernon stood in front of the door awkwardly, unsure what he was going to say. But he lifted his hand, and he knocked.

“Come in,” came the doctor’s voice from behind the door, and Vernon took a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

The room was bigger than he had expected it to be. It definitely wasn’t just an office, with multiple tables and various small instruments and charts held down by random objects acting as paper weights spread across them. Tall shelves lined the wall behind the main desk and the one opposite it, stuffed with old and new volumes. The doctor’s table itself was pushed into a corner to make way for everything else, but despite the packed space, everything was organized. It was a pattern Vernon knew from his own room: order in chaos.

Dr. Connors was standing behind his desk, reading through a paper on a clipboard in his hand. He looked up as Vernon entered, and a range of emotions flashed through his eyes when he saw him—first confusion, then recognition, then fear, then guilt. Finally, the doctor smiled, straightening as he placed the board back on his table.

“Vernon,” he said, and Vernon felt a thrill upon seeing that he remembered his name. “A face I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Vernon tried to press his lips into a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. “I would have come by earlier, but what with midterms and everything happening in the city…” He hesitated. “I was just a little afraid, I guess.”

“I understand,” Dr. Connors said, and it wasn’t just an empty phrase, like he actually understood Vernon’s fear of facing his father’s past. But then, maybe he did. “I would have liked to see you again after our conversation was cut short, but perhaps a few months’ lapse in between was necessary.”

Vernon thought back to the Lizard incident a couple of months ago, when Dr. Connors had injected himself with an underdeveloped serum, turning himself into a giant lizard. “I read your recent article on the lizard formula,” he said slowly.

The doctor’s hand froze on the table for a moment, but relaxed just as quickly. He looked up at Vernon with a gentle sort of intelligence in his eyes, a look so different from the Lizard’s that he had trouble believing they could be the same person. “Did you, now?” he asked. “And what did you think of it?”

“Genius,” he breathed, and Dr. Connors’s eyes lit up even more. “I looked through my dad’s old papers, and cross-checked the changes with your research.” He opened his mouth and closed it again. Better get this over with quickly. “I know this must seem abrupt, but I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go on.” Dr. Connors inclined his head, gesturing at a seat with his good arm. The other one ended up to just above the elbow—a sight that reminded Vernon that it was the doctor himself who had been the first human trial for his cross-species grafting formula.

“The last time we met, you asked me to come work with you in your lab,” Vernon spoke slowly, hesitating between words. “And when I read your paper, I saw that you would continue to research further on the gene splicing and the, uh, the blood-brain barrier and—” He cut himself off, realizing that he had begun to ramble. “I was wondering, after last time, if you could—”

“Take you on in my lab for the research?” Dr. Connors completed his question for him, positively beaming. “Of course! Your father was a genius, and you follow in his stead. It would be a great advantage to have you on the team.” His smile faltered a little. “And then, even after all these years, I owe him my life and its work,” he added in a lower voice. “I’d be glad to have you.”

“Really?” Vernon looked at him with rounded eyes, clutching the case tightly enough that the skin of his knuckles paled. “I—wow. Thanks, Dr. Connors.”

Dr. Connors shook his head. “There will always be a place for Richard Parker’s son at my lab,” he said. “If you’re free, I could show you around the lab now, just so you get the feel of the place. Unless, of course, you’re busy right now, in which case you could swing by later.”

Vernon laughed, relieved and gratified and ridiculously happy. “I have all the time in the world.”

“Great,” Dr. Connors said. “When can you start?”

[hothian-snow]

Worldbuilding: Sith Magic (WIP)

An update to my original post.

I want to theorize about what magic may have been commonplace during the times of the Sith Pureblood, before they became influenced by the Dark Jedi. Some beliefs and practice may have evolved into what we know today, but many traditions will have likely died down, lost to time and to cultural colonisation. These are my headcanons, inspired by some headcanons others have made plus my own understanding of traditional witchcraft and Ancient Greek magic.

1) Magic of the Sun

Korriban is one of the original homes of the Sith Pureblood, and presumably the most prominent one. What could be seen the moment you step onto Korriban is the rocky red ending desert and the blistering sun. Magic from many cultures around our world are rooted in the land, and I believe Sith magic should be no different. In this case, their magic will be drawn from the sun, the bones that lie beneath the sands.

In the real world Greek Magical Papyri, a record of Greco-Egyptian magic spells, the sun god Helios is called upon in various rites ranging from consecration to restraining anger to bringing victory. In that same manner, I believe the sun may be called by the Sith to perform magical acts. In a lot of POC traditions, planets are also deified to be gods (something like astrolatry in Thailand etc), and so the Sith - who in my views are POC-coded - may revere the sun as a central religious figure (which makes it ironic that the concept of the Dark Side of the Force was later made to be the enemy of the Light). The sun nourishes, but it also burns. The light allows you to see, but too much can blind. It is the sun’s heat that rot corpses, freeing flesh from bones, rushing forth decomposition. The sun is life and the sun is death.

Just as Ancient Greek witches could be identified as descendants of Helios due to their flashing eyes, it is also possible that the Sith Pureblood may view themselves to be descendants of the sun. After all, their fiery eyes are like two miniature suns and their distinctive red skin are like the blood-red dawn. 

2) Magic of the Bones

In many ways, the Force is similar to the real-world belief of animism. Inside everything is something that is alive and powerful. In the bones, buried beneath the sands, are a vault of memories. Through feeding the bones - feeding the spirits within the bones - one can cultivate a relationship with the dead. One can redden the bones with flowers from cactus mixed with drops of blood, or blacken them with roots and soot. Incense smoke can be like food to the soul. This works for both animal and Sith bones.

Once awakened, bones can be your teachers, or used both as an offensive and defensive tool. The empty eye sockets of skulls can be placed in strategic places, eternally watching guard. Fangs and claws can be turned into magical talismans, to protect their masters and shred their enemies to pieces. Bones may whisper their wisdom to you. Learn from the tuk’ata how to protect and defend. Learn from the K’lor’slugs how to poison and strike.

3) Necromancy

With the talks of bones, we cannot avoid the topic of necromancy. In a lot of POC cultures, ancestor veneration plays an integral part of bringing families together. As the Sith Purebloods are POC-coded, and because we have seen in-game that ghosts of ancestors (Lord Kallig) may wish to help their descendants (the Sith Inquisitor), I believe ancestor veneration would have a prominent role in Sith culture. Ancestors may send you dreams for you to be prepared for upcoming threats. Ancestors may work their magic from beyond the grave to influence situations in the living world.

Aside from having a ghost literally show up, transmission of knowledge through dreams is one way that tradition can be passed down, in spite of the Sith Genocide that occured. Children may have been made orphans, but it does not mean that their parents can’t speak through them in an oneiric vision. Texts may have been burnt, cultural artifacts may have been destroyed, but magic prevails. History finds a way to be remembered.

Dream incubation can be used to receive information that would be otherwise unknown. Trances can be used to induce visions from the dead and from higher powers. Ointments made from poisonous herbs, smeared onto the body, can be used to induce the liminal state required for a person to get in touch with the otherworld.

There is also canonical evidence that necromancy was practiced among the Sith before the Dark Jedi colonised them: Dathka Graush, a Sith King of Korriban active in the decades prior to the arrival of the Dark Jedi Exiles in 6900 BBY, was among the earliest practitioners of Sith necromancy. Necromancy can be as dramatic as raising zombies using occult incantations, reanimating the freshly dead and the buried skeletons. However, I also want to go for a different approach.

Inspired by Ancient Greek necromancy, I believe the dead can be split into many types. Perhaps there are the restless dead, like the Greek aōroi, the spirits who could be appeased and channeled to wreak havoc. Perhaps there are the mighty dead, (war) heroes who have been elevated to the point where they are venerated and prayed to for strength and miracles. The dead can be called upon to glean prophecies, and deals can be made with them, pacts sealed in blood. The dead can teach you secrets and grant you powers, and you can send them forth to haunt your enemies until they are maddened. A Sith may ask the ravenous dead to feed upon their enemy, and pray that the power of the tomb claims the rest.

Some parts of the current Sith cultural beliefs may have been influenced by the beliefs of the Sith Pureblood (pre-Dark Jedi arrival), but twisted into a reactionary belief in response to the Jedi code. For example, the Jedi seems to have an accepting attitude towards death (“there is no death, there is only the Force”) while the current Sith seems to wish to overcome death, whether through having a long-lasting legacy or through occult means (like Darth Zash or Emperor Vitiate). This is why a Sith like Darth Marr who are not scared to die are viewed as being terrifying. I believe this culture of immense fear towards death is a new thing.

In my headcanon, the Sith Pureblood originally viewed death as something to respect and fear, but also understood it to be a necessity - and in some cases, a beautiful part of life. Through death, grapes are transformed into wine. There is sacredness in the sweet and cloying rot, a holiness to decay and entropy. Because of this, there may be a field of magic that focuses not just on reanimating corpses, but on hastening (or temporary slowing- with consequences) the way and speed at which something decomposes. Imagine a Sith gripping their enemies with their bare hands, and from that touch comes a death sentence: bodies begin to bloat, festering sickness seeping into muscles and bones, flesh turning necrotic before death consumes them.

4) Potions and Poisons

The art of pharmakeia and veneficium is something that came up in the Sith Inquisitor storyline. Zash makes offhand remarks about poisoning her foes, and the ghost that taught the Sith Inquisitor how to Force Walk requires the Inquisitor to drink a cup of poison first. Poison can both kill and teach. In the real world, many traditional witches who walk the poison path have made allies of their poison plants. In Greek myth and religion, Circe uses potions to transmute men into pigs, and transforms women into monsters by poisoning water with drugs.

Ziost, which became capital of the Ancient Sith Empire after the reign of the Sith Overlord Adas came to an end, was described to be a planet of dark forests and barren tundra. With forests comes plants, and with plants comes poison. Perhaps dirt from graveyards and places of bloodshed can be mixed with foul herbs, along with powdered molts of poison insects, and then infused into oil to be made into a tool for cursing enemies. Should a hair or piece of armor from one’s rival be found, one could powder that and mix the blend into a poppet, enabling a Sith to feed their enemy poison from a distance.

The flipside of poison is medicine. Healers may have been as abundant as poisoners, or perhaps healers were poisoners and poisoners were healers, for the difference between killing and treating is just application and dosage. Potions may also be made to bless and enhance the abilities of someone - something like how stims are used in the current setting - and washes and ritual baths may be used to free someone from unwanted afflictions.

5) Force Lightning

I believe Force lightning has always been used by the Sith Pureblood, but its prestige and popularity only has sky-rocketted once Vitiate became Emperor. Dromund Kaas’ constant lightning and perpetual thunderstorms may have been “a result of the Sith Emperor's experiments in arcane and forbidden uses of the dark side of the Force”. Hence, it may be possible that the usage of Force lightning became a symbol of power due to Vitiate’s influence.

6) Sith Artifacts and Tools

The most well-known artifact of the Sith is the Sith holocron. I am not certain but I believe the oldest Sith holocron may be the Telos Holocron, and one of the earliest contributors to the Telos Holocron was Ajunta Pall who was a Dark Jedi. The holocron’s purpose in storing information and passing down the legacy of a Sith Lord is linked to my view that it is the Dark Jedi who want to be immortalized and are afraid of death, not the original Sith Pureblood. Thus, I infer that the Sith holocrons are made by the Dark Jedi who colonized the Sith, which makes sense considering that it just looks like an alternative version of the Jedi holocron.

However, one clear power of the Sith holocrons is how they are able to ‘corrupt’ its user to the Dark Side. This made me wonder if the Sith Pureblood may have had artifacts and fetishes that served similar purposes in corrupting, influencing and swaying their enemies. If knowledge could be passed down through ghosts and dreams, then there is no need to spend time crafting the perfect holocron and effort could instead be focused upon creating tools of defense and offense.

It would have been very practical to create an artifact out of roots and bones, place it in places of ruin, death and grief such as places of murders, and enchant it to soak in the horrific sympathetic energies of the locales it was placed at until it becomes full, brimming with misery and torment. It could then be buried on the plot of land that a Sith’s enemy lived on, hence bringing suffering to their home and family. Something like that - something folk-ish, something requiring only skill, cunning and determination, not fanciful ceremonial rituals like the ones we see the current Siths doing - is what I believe defined the practice of the original Sith Pureblood.

[rawliverandcigarettes]

Mass Effect Retribution, a review

Mass Effect Retribution is the third book in the official Mass Effect trilogy by author Drew Karpyshyn, who happens to also be Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2.

I didn’t expect to pick it up, because to be very honest I didn’t expect to like it. 9 years ago I borrowed Mass Effect Revelations, and I still recall the experience as underwhelming. But this fateful fall of 2020 I had money (yay) and I saw the novel on the shelf of a swedish nerd store. I guess guilt motivated me to give the author another try: guilt, because I’ve been writing a Mass Effect fanfiction for an ungodly amount of years and I’ve been deathly afraid of lore that might contradict my decisions ever since I started -but I knew this book covered elements that are core to plot elements of my story, and I was willing to let my anxiety to the door and see what was up.

Disclaimer: I didn’t reread Mass Effect Revelation before plunging into this read, and entirely skipped Ascension. So anything in relation to character introduction and continuity will have to be skipped.

Back-cover pitch (the official, unbiased, long one)

Humanity has reached the stars, joining the vast galactic community of alien species. But beyond the fringes of explored space lurk the Reapers, a race of sentient starships bent on “harvesting” the galaxy’s organic species for their own dark purpose. The Illusive Man, leader of the pro-human black ops group Cerberus, is one of the few who know the truth about the Reapers. To ensure humanity’s survival, he launches a desperate plan to uncover the enemy’s strengths—and weaknesses—by studying someone implanted with modified Reaper technology. He knows the perfect subject for his horrific experiments: former Cerberus operative Paul Grayson, who wrested his daughter from the cabal’s control with the help of Ascension project director Kahlee Sanders. But when Kahlee learns that Grayson is missing, she turns to the only person she can trust: Alliance war hero Captain David Anderson. Together they set out to find the secret Cerberus facility where Grayson is being held. But they aren’t the only ones after him. And time is running out. As the experiments continue, the sinister Reaper technology twists Grayson’s mind. The insidious whispers grow ever stronger in his head, threatening to take over his very identity and unleash the Reapers on an unsuspecting galaxy. This novel is based on a Mature-rated video game.

Global opinion (TL;DR)

I came in hoping to be positively surprised and learn a thing or two about Reapers, about Cerberus and about Aria T’loak. I wasn’t, and I didn’t learn much. What I did learn was how cool ideas can get wasted by the very nature of game novelization, as the defects are not singular to this novel but quite widespread in this genre, and how annoyed I can get at an overuse of dialogue tags. The pacing is good and the narrative structure alright: everything else poked me in the wrong spots and rubbed how the series have always handled violence on my face with cruder examples. If I was on Good Reads, I’d probably give it something like 2 stars, for the pacing, some of the ideas, and my general sympathy for the IP novel struggle.

The indepth review continue past this point, just know there will be spoilers for the series, the Omega DLC which is often relevant, and the book itself!

What I enjoyed

Drew Karpyshyn is competent in narrative structure, and that does a lot for the pacing. Things rarely drag, and we get from one event to the next seamlessly. I’m not surprised this is one of the book’s qualities, as it comes from the craft of a game writer: pacing and efficiency are mandatory skills in this field. I would have preferred a clearer breaking point perhaps, but otherwise it’s a nice little ride that doesn’t ask a lot of effort from you (I was never tempted to DNF the book because it was so easy to read).

This book is packed with intringuing ideas -from venturing in the mind of the Illusive Man to assist, from the point of view of the victim, to Grayson’s biological transformation and assimilation into the Reaper hivemind, we get plenty to be excited for. I was personally intrigued about Liselle, Aria T’loak’s secret daughter, and eager to get a glimpse at the mind of the Queen Herself -also about how her collaboration with Cerberus came to be. Too bad none of these ideas go anywhere nor are being dealt with in an interesting way!!! But the concepts themselves were very good, so props for setting up interesting premices.

Pain is generally well described. It gets the job done.

I liked Sanak, the batarian that works as a second to Aria. He’s not very well characterized and everyone thinks he’s dumb (rise up for our national himbo), even though he reads almost smarter than her on multiple occasions, but I was happy whenever he was on the page, so yay for Sanak. But it might just be me having a bias for batarians.

Cool to have Kai Leng as a point of view character. I wasn’t enthralled by what was done with it, as he remains incredibly basic and as basically hateable and ungrounded than in Mass Effect 3 (I think he’s very underwhelming as a villain and he should have been built up in Mass Effect 2 to be effective). But there were some neat moments, such as the description of the Afterlife by Grayson who considers it as tugging at his base instincts, compared to Leng’s description of it where everything is deemed disgusting. The execution is not the best, but the concept was fun.

Pre-Reaperification Paul Grayson wasn’t the worst point of view to follow. I wasn’t super involved in his journey and didn’t care when he died one way or the other, but I empathized with his problems and hoped he would find a way out of the cycle of violence. The setup of his character arc was interesting, it’s just sad that any resolution -even negative- was dropped to focus on Reapers and his relationship with Kahlee Sanders, as I think the latter was the least interesting part.

The cover is cool and intringuing. Very soapy. It’s my favorite out of all the official novels, as it owns the cheesier aspect of the series, has nice contrasts and immediately asks questions. Very 90s/2000s. It’s great.

You may notice every thing I enjoyed was coated in complaints, because it’s a reflection of my frustration at this book for setting up interesting ideas and then completely missing the mark in their execution. So without further due, let’s talk about what I think the book didn’t do right.

1. Dumb complaints that don’t matter much

After reading the entire book, I am still a bit confused at to why Tim (the Illusive Man’s acronym is TIM in fandom, but I find immense joy in reffering to him as just Tim) wants his experimentation to be carried out on Grayson specifically, especially when getting to him is harder than pretty much anyone else (also wouldn’t pushing the very first experiments on alien captives make more sense given it’s Cerberus we’re talking about?). It seem to be done out of petty revenge, which is fine, but it still feels like quite the overlook to mess with a competent fighter, enhance him, and then expect things to stay under control (which Tim kind of doesn’t expect to, and that’s even weirder -why waste your components on something you plan to terminate almost immediately). At the same time, the pettiness is the only characterization we get out of Tim so good I guess? But if so, I wished it would have been accentuated to seem even more deliberate (and not have Tim regret to see it in himself, which flattens him and doesn’t inform the way he views the world and himself -but we’ll get to that).

I really disliked the way space travel is characterized. And that might be entirely just me, and perhaps it doesn’t contradict the rest of the lore, but space travel is so fast. People pop up left and right in a matter of hours. At some point we even get a mention of someone being able to jump 3 different Mass Relays and then arrive somewhere in 4 hours. I thought you first had to discharge your ship around a stellar object before being able to engage in the next jump (and that imply finding said object, which would have to take more than an hour). It’s not that big of a deal, but it completely crammed this giant world to a single boulevard for me and my hard-science-loving tastes. Not a big deal, but not a fan at all of this choice.

You wouldn’t believe how often people find themselves in a fight naked or in their underwear. It happens at least 3 times (and everyone naked survives -except one, we’ll get to her later).

Why did I need to know about this fifteen year’s old boner for his older teacher. Surely there were other ways to have his crush come across without this detail, or then have it be an actual point of tension in their relationship and not just a “teehee” moment. Weird choice imo.

I’m not a fan of the Talons. I don’t find them interesting or compelling. There is nothing about them that informs us on the world they live in. The fact they’re turian-ruled don’t tell us anything about turian culture that, say, the Blue Suns don’t tell us already. It’s a generic gang that is powerful because it is. I think they’re very boring, in this book and in the Omega DLC alike (a liiittle less in the DLC because of Nyreen, barely). Not a real criticism, I just don’t care for them at all.

I might just be very ace, but I didn’t find Anderson and Kahlee Sanders to have much chemistry. Same for Kahlee and Grayson (yes we do have some sort of love-triangle-but-not-really, but it’s not very important and it didn’t bother me much). Their relationships were all underwhelming to me, and I’ll explain why in part 4.

The red sand highs are barely described, and very safely -probably not from a place of intimate knowledge with drugs nor from intense research. Addiction is a delicate topic, and I feel like it could have been dealt with better, or not be included at all.

There are more of these, but I don’t want to turn this into a list of minor complaints for things that are more a matter of taste than craft quality or thematic relevance. So let’s move on.

2. Who cares about aliens in a Mass Effect novel

Now we’re getting into actual problems, and this one is kind of endemic to the Mass Effect novels (I thought the same when I read Revelation 9 years ago, though maybe less so as Saren in a PoV character -but I might have forgotten so there’s that). The aliens are described and characterized in the most uncurious, uninspired manner. Krogans are intimidating brutes. Turians are rigid. Asaris are sexy. Elcors are boring. Batarians are thugs (there is something to be said with how Aria’s second in command is literally the same batarian respawned with a different name in Mass Effect 2, this book, then the Omega DLC). Salarians are weak nerds. (if you allow me this little parenthesis because of course I have to complain about salarian characterization: the only salarian that speaks in the book talks in a cheap ripoff of Mordin’s speech pattern, which sucks because it’s specific to Mordin and not salarians as a whole, and is there to be afraid of a threat as a joke. This is SUCH a trope in the original trilogy -especially past Mass Effect 1 when they kind of give up on salarians except for a few chosen ones-, that salarians’ fear is not to be taken seriously and the only salarians who are to be considered don’t express fear at all -see Mordin and Kirrahe. It happens at least once per game, often more. This is one of the reasons why the genophage subplot is allowed to be so morally simple in ME3 and remove salarians from the equation. I get why they did that, but it’s still somewhat of a copeout. On this front, I have to give props to Andromeda for actually engaging with violence on salarians in a serious manner. It’s a refreshing change) I didn’t learn a single thing about any of these species, how they work, what they care about in the course of these 79750 words. I also didn’t learn much about their relationships to other species, including humans. I’ll mention xenophobia in more details later, but this entire aspect of the story takes a huge hit because of this lack of investment of who these species are.

I’ve always find Mass Effect, despite its sprawling universe full of vivid ideas and unique perspectives, to be strangely enamoured with humans, and it has never been so apparent than here. Only humans get to have layers, deserving of empathy and actual engagement. Only their pain is real and important. Only their death deserve mourning (we’ll come back to that). I’d speculate this comes from the same place that was terrified to have Liara as a love interest in ME1 in case she alienated the audience, and then later was surprised when half the fanbase was more interested in banging the dinosaur-bird than their fellow humans: Mass Effect often seem afraid of losing us and breaking our capacity for self-projection. It’s a very weird concern, in my opinion, that reveals the most immature, uncertain and soapy parts of the franchise. Here it’s punched to eleven, and I find it disappointing. It also have a surprising effect on the narrative: again, we’ll come back to that.

3. The squandered potential of Liselle and Aria

Okay. This one hurts. Let’s talk about Liselle: she’s introduced in the story as a teammate to Grayson, who at the time works as a merc for Aria T’loak on Omega, and also sleeps with him on the regular. She likes hitting the Afterlife’s dancefloor: she’s very admired there, as she’s described as extremely attractive. One night after receiving a call from Grayson, she rejoins him in his apartment. They have sex, then Kai Leng and other Cerberus agents barge in to capture Grayson -a fight break out (the first in a long tradition of naked/underwear fights), and both of them are stunned with tranquilizers. Grayson is to be taken to the Illusive Man. Kai Leng decides to slit Liselle’s throat as she lays unconscious to cover their tracks. When Aria T’loak and her team find her naked on a bed, throat gaping and covered in blood, Liselle is revealed, through her internal monologue, to be Aria’s secret daughter -that she kept secret for both of their safety. So Liselle is a sexpot who dies immediately in a very brutal and disempowered manner. This is a sad way to handle Aria T’loak’s daughter I think, but I assume it was done to give a strong motivation to the mother, who thinks Grayson did it. And also, it’s a cool setup to explore her psyche: how does she feel about business catching up with her in such a personal manner, how does she feel about the fact she couldn’t protect her own offspring despite all her power, what’s her relationship with loss and death, how does she slip when under high emotional stress, how does she deal with such a vulnerable position of having to cope without being able to show any sign of weakness... But the book does nothing with that. The most interesting we get is her complete absence of outward reaction when she sees her daughter as the centerpiece of a crime scene. Otherwise we have mentions that she’s not used to lose relatives, vague discomfort when someone mentions Liselle might have been raped, and vague discomfort at her body in display for everyone to gawk at. It’s not exactly revelatory behavior, and the missed potential is borderline criminal. It also doesn’t even justify itself as a strong motivation, as Aria vaguely tries to find Grayson again and then gives up until we give her intel on a silver platter. Then it almost feels as if she forgot her motivation for killing Grayson, and is as motivated by money than she is by her daughter’s murder (and that could be interesting too, but it’s not done in a deliberate way and therefore it seems more like a lack of characterization than anything else).

Now, to Aria. Because this book made me realize something I strongly dislike: the framing might constantly posture her as intelligent, but Aria T’loak is... kind of dumb, actually? In this book alone she’s misled, misinformed or tricked three different times. We’re constantly ensured she’s an amazing people reader but never once do we see this ability work in her favor -everyone fools her all the time. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and jump from Cerberus trap to Cerberus trap, and her loosing Omega to them later is laughably stupid after the bullshit Tim put her through in this book alone. I’m not joking when I say the book has to pull out an entire paragraph on how it’s easier to lie to smart people to justify her complete dumbassery during her first negotiation with Tim. She doesn’t seem to know anything about how people work that could justify her power. She’s not politically savvy. She’s not good at manipulation. She’s just already established and very, very good at kicking ass. And I wouldn’t mind if Aria was just a brutish thug who maintains her power through violence and nothing else, that could also be interesting to have an asari act that way. But the narrative will not bow to the reality they have created for her, and keep pretending her flaw is in extreme pride only. This makes me think of the treatment of Sansa Stark in the latest seasons of Game of Thrones -the story and everyone in it is persuaded she’s a political mastermind, and in the exact same way I would adore for it to be true, but it’s just... not. It’s even worse for Aria, because Sansa does have victories by virtue of everyone being magically dumber than her whenever convenient. Aria just fails, again and again, and nobody seem to ever acknowledge it. Sadly her writing here completely justifies her writing in the Omega DLC and the comics, which I completely loathe; but turns out Aria isn’t smart or savvy, not even in posture or as a façade. She’s just violent, entitled, easily fooled, and throws public tantrums when things don’t go her way. And again, I guess that would be fine if only the narrative would recognize what she is. Me, I will gently ignore most of this (in her presentation at least, because I think it’s interesting to have something pitiful when you dig a little) and try to write her with a bit more elevation. But this was a very disappointing realization to have.

4. The squandered potential of Grayson and the Reapers

The waste of a subplot with Aria and Liselle might have hurt me more in a personal way, but what went down between Grayson and the Reapers hurts the entire series in a startling manner. And it’s so infuriating because the potential was there. Every setpiece was available to create something truly unique and disturbing by simply following the series’ own established lore. But this is not what happens. See, when The Illusive Man, our dearest Tim, captures Grayson for a betrayal that happened last book (something about his biotic autistic daughter -what’s the deal with autistic biotics being traumatized by Cerberus btw), he decides to use him as the key part of an experiment to understand how Reapers operate. So he forcefully implants the guy with Reaper technology (what they do exactly is unclear) to study his change into a husk and be prepared when Reapers come for humanity -it’s also compared to what happened with Saren when he “agreed” to be augmented by Sovereign. From there on, Grayson slowly turns into a husk. Doesn’t it sound fascinating, to be stuck in the mind of someone losing themselves to unknowable monsters? If you agree with me then I’m sorry because the execution is certainly... not that. The way the author chooses to describe the event is to use the trope of mind control used in media like Get Out: Grayson taking the backseat of his own mind and body. And I haaaaate it. I hate it so much. I don’t hate the trope itself (it can be interesting in other media, like Get Out!), but I loathe that it’s used here in a way that totally contradicts both the lore and basic biology. Grayson doesn’t find himself manipulated. He doesn’t find himself justifying increasingly jarring actions the way Saren has. He just... loses control of himself, disagreeing with what’s being done with him but not able to change much about it. He also can fight back and regain control sometimes -but his thoughts are almost untainted by Reaper influence. The technology is supposed to literally replace and reorganize the cells of his body; is this implying that body and mind are separated, that there maybe exists a soul that transcends indoctrination? I don’t know but I hate it. This also implies that every victim of the Reaper is secretely aware of what they’re doing and pained and disagreeing with their own actions. And I’m sorry but if it’s true, I think this sucks ass and removes one of the creepiest ideas of the Mass Effect universe -that identity can and will be lost, and that Reapers do not care about devouring individuality and reshaping it to the whims of their inexorable march. Keeping a clear stream of consciousness in the victim’s body makes it feel like a curse and not like a disease. None of the victims are truly gone that way, and it removes so much of the tragic powerlessness of organics in their fight against the machines. Imagine if Saren watched himself be a meanie and being like “nooo” from within until he had a chance to kill himself in a near-victorious battle, compared to him being completely persuaded he’s acting for the good of organic life until, for a split second, he comes to realize he doesn’t make any sense and is loosing his mind like someone with dementia would, and needs to grasp to this instant to make the last possible thing he could do to save others and his own mind from domination. I feel so little things for Saren in the former case, and so much for the latter. But it might just be me: I’m deeply touched by the exploration of how environment and things like medication can change someone’s behavior, it’s such a painfully human subject while forceful mind control is... just kind of cheap.

SPEAKING OF THE REAPERS. Did you know “The Reapers” as an entity is an actual character in this book? Because it is. And “The Reapers” is not a good character. During the introduction of Grayson and explaining his troubles, we get presented with the mean little voice in his head. It’s his thoughts in italics, nothing crazy, in fact it’s a little bit of a copeout from actually implementing his insecurities into the prose. But I gave the author the benefit of the doubt, as I knew Grayson would be indoctrinated later, and I fully expected the little voice to slowly start twisting into what the Reapers suggested to him. This doesn’t happen, or at least not in that slowburn sort of way. Instead the little voice is dropped almost immediately, and the Reapers are described, as a presence. And as the infection progresses, what Grayson do become what the Reapers do. The Reapers have emotions, it turns out. They’re disgusted at organic discharges. They’re pleased when Grayson accomplish what they want, and it’s told as such. They foment little plans to get their puppet to point A to point B, and we are privy to their calculations. And I’m sorry but the best way to ruin your lovecraftian concept is to try and explain its motivations and how it thinks. Because by definition the unknown is scarier, smarter, and colder than whatever a human author could come up with. I couldn’t take the Reapers’ dumb infiltration plans seriously, and now I think they are dumb all the time, and I didn’t want to!! The only cases in which the Reapers influence Grayson, we are told in very explicit details how so. For example, they won’t let Grayson commit suicide by flooding his brain with hope and determination when he tries, or they will change the words he types when he tries to send a message to Kahlee Sanders. And we are told exactly what they do every time. There was a glorious occasion to flex as a writer by diving deep into an unreliable narrator and write incredibly creepy prose, but I guess we could have been confused, and apparently that’s not allowed. And all of this is handled that poorly becauuuuuse...

5. Subtext is dead and Drew killed it

Now we need to talk about the prose. The style of the author is... let’s be generous and call it functional. It’s about clarity. The writing is so involved in its quest for clarity that it basically ruins the book, and most of the previous issues are direct consequences of the prose and adjacent decisions.The direct prose issues are puzzling, as they are known as rookie technical flaws and not something I would expect from the series’ Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and 2, but in this book we find problems such as:

The reliance on adverbs. Example: "Breathing heavily from the exertion, he stood up slowly”. I have nothing about a well-placed adverb that gives a verb a revelatory twist, but these could be replaced by stronger verbs, or cut altogether.

Filtering. Example: “Anderson knew that the fact they were getting no response was a bad sign”. This example is particularly egregious, but characters know things, feel things, realize things (boy do they realize things)... And this pulls us away from their internal world instead of making us live what they live, expliciting what should be implicit. For example, consider the alternative: “They were getting no reponse, which was a bad sign in Anderson’s experience.” We don’t really need the “in Anderson’s experience” either, but that already brings us significantly closer to his world, his lived experience as a soldier.

The goddamn dialogue tags. This one is the worst offender of the bunch. Nobody is allowed to talk without a dialogue tag in this book, and wow do people imply, admit, inform, remark and every other verb under the sun. Consider this example, which made me lose my mind a little: “What are you talking about? Kahlee wanted to know.” I couldn’t find it again, but I’m fairly certain I read a “What is it?” Anderson wanted to know. as well. Not only is it very distracting, it’s also yet another way to remove reader interpretation from the equation (also sometimes there will be a paragraph break inside a monologue -not even a long one-, and that doesn’t seem to be justified by anything? It’s not as big of a problem than the aversion to subtext, but it still confused me more than once)

Another writing choice that hurts the book in disproportionate ways is the reliance on point of view switches. In Retribution, we get the point of view of: Tim, Paul Grayson, Kai Leng, Kahlee Sanders, David Anderson, Aria T’loak, and Nick (a biotic teenager, the one with the boner). Maybe Sanak had a very small section too, but I couldn’t find it again so don’t take my word for it. That’s too many point of views for a plot-heavy 80k book in my opinion, but even besides that: the point of view switch several times in one single chapter. This is done in the most harmful way possible for tension: characters involved in the same scene take turns on the page explaining their perspective about the events, in a way that leaves the reader entirely aware of every stake to every character and every information that would be relevant in a scene. Take for example the first negotiation between Aria and Tim. The second Aria needs to ponder what her best move could possibly be, we get thrown back into Tim’s perspective explaining the exact ways in which he’s trying to deceive her -removing our agency to be either convinced or fooled alongside her. This results in a book that goes out of his way to keep us from engaging with its ideas and do any mental work on our own. Everything is laid out, bare and as overexplained as humanly possible. The format is also very repetitive: characters talk or do an action, and then we spend a paragraph explaining the exact mental reasoning for why they did what they did. There is nothing to interpret. No subtext at all whatsoever; and this contributes in casting a harsh light on the Mass Effect universe, cheapening it and overtly expliciting some of its worst ideas instead of leaving them politely blurred and for us to dress up in our minds. There is only one theme that remains subtextual in my opinion. And it’s not a pretty one.

6. Violence

So here’s the thing when you adapt a third person shooter into a novel: you created a violent world and now you will have to deal with death en-masse too (get it get it I’m so sorry). But while in videogames you can get away with thoughtless murder because it’s a gameplay mechanic and you’re not expected to philosophize on every splatter of blood, novels are all about internalization. Violent murder is by definition more uncomfortable in books, because we’re out of gamer conventions and now every death is actual when in games we just spawned more guys because we wanted that level to be a bit harder and on a subconscious level we know this and it makes it somewhat okay. I felt, in this book, a strange disconnect between the horrendous violence and the fact we’re expected to care about it like we would in a game: not much, or as a spectacle. Like in a game, we are expected to root for the safety of named characters the story indicated us we should be invested in. And because we’re in a book, this doesn’t feel like the objective truth of the universe spelled at us through user interface and quest logs, but the subjective worldview of the characters we’re following. And that makes them.... somewhat disturbing to follow.

I haven’t touched on Anderson and Kahlee Sanders much yet, but now I guess I have too, as they are the worst offenders of what is mentioned above. Kahlee cares about Grayson. She only cares about Grayson -and her students like the forementioned Nick, but mostly Grayson. Grayson is out there murdering people like it’s nobody’s business, but still, keeping Grayson alive is more important that people dying like flies around him. This is vaguely touched on, but not with the gravitas that I think was warranted. Also, Anderson goes with it. Because he cares about Kahlee. Anderson organizes a major political scandal between humans and turians because of Kahlee, because of Grayson. He convinces turians to risk a lot to bring Cerberus down, and I guess that could be understandable, but it’s mostly manipulation for the sake of Grayson’s survival: and a lot of turians die as a result. But not only turians: I was not comfortable with how casually the course of action to deal a huge blow to Cerberus and try to bring the organization down was to launch assault on stations and cover-ups for their organization. Not mass arrests: military assault. They came to arrest high operatives, maybe, but the grunts were okay to slaughter. This universe has a problem with systemic violence by the supposedly good guys in charge -and it’s always held up as the righteous and efficient way compared to these UGH boring politicians and these treaties and peace and such (amirite Anderson). And as the cadavers pile up, it starts to make our loveable protagonists... kind of self-centered assholes. Also: I think we might want to touch on who these cadavers tend to be, and get to my biggest point of discomfort with this novel.

Xenophobia is hard to write well, and I super sympathize with the attempts made and their inherent difficulty. This novel tries to evoke this theme in multiple ways: by virtue of having Cerberus’ heart and blade as point of view characters, we get a window into Tim and Kai Leng’s bigotry against aliens, and how this belief informs their actions. I wasn’t ever sold in their bigotry as it was shown to us. Tim evokes his scorn for whatever aliens do and how it’s inferior to humanity’s resilience -but it’s surface-level, not informed by deep and specific entranched beliefs on aliens motives and bodies, and how they are a threat on humanity according to them. The history of Mass Effect is rich with conflict and baggage between species, yet every expression of hatred is relegated to a vague “eww aliens” that doesn’t feed off systemically enforced beliefs but personal feelings of mistrust and disgust. I’ll take this example of Kai Leng, and his supposedly revulsion at the Afterlife as a peak example of alien decadence: he sees an asari in skimpy clothing, and deems her “whorish”. And this feels... off. Not because I don’t think Kai Leng would consider asaris whorish, but because this is supposed to represent Cerberus’ core beliefs: yet both him and Tim go on and on about how their goal is to uplift humanity, how no human is an enemy. But if that’s the case, then what makes Kai Leng call an Afterlife asari whorish and mean it in a way that’s meaningfully different from how he would consider a human sex worker in similar dispositions? Not that I don’t buy that Cerberus would have a very specific idea of what humans need to be to be considered worth preserving as good little ur-fascists, but this internal bias is never expressed in any way, and it makes the whole act feel hollow. Cerberus is not the only offender, though. Every time an alien expresses bias against humans in a way we’re meant to recognize as xenophobic, it reads the same way: as personal dislike and suspicion. As bullying. Which is such a small part of what bigotry encompasses. It’s so unspecific and divorced from their common history that it just never truly works in my opinion. You know what I thought worked, though? The golden trio of non-Cerberus human characters, and their attitude towards aliens. Grayson’s slight fetishism and suspicion of his attraction to Liselle, how bestial (in a cool, sexy way) he perceives the Afterlife to be. The way Anderson and Kahlee use turians for their own ends and do not spare a single thought towards those who died directly trying to protect them or Grayson immediately after the fact (they are more interested in Kahlee’s broken fingers and in kissing each other). How they feel disgust watching turians looting Cerberus soldiers, not because it’s disrespectful in general and the deaths are a inherent tragedy but because they are turians and the dead are humans. But it's not even really on them: the narration itself is engrossed by the suffering of humans, but aliens are relegated to setpieces in gore spectacles. Not even Grayson truly cares about the aliens the Reapers make him kill. Nobody does. Not even the aliens among each other: see, once again, Aria and Liselle, or Aria and Sanak. Nobody cares. At the very end of the story, Anderson comes to Kahlee and asks if she gives him permission to have Grayson’s body studied, the same way Cerberus planned to. It’s source of discomfort, but Kahlee gives in as it’s important, and probably what Grayson would have wanted, maybe? So yeah. In the end the only subtextual theme to find here (probably as an accident) is how the Alliance’s good guys are not that different from Cerberus it turns out. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

7. Lore-approved books, or the art of shrinking an expanding universe

I’d like to open the conversation on a bigger topic: the very practice of game novelization, or IP-books. Because as much as I think Drew Karpyshyn’s final draft should not have ended up reading that amateur given the credits to his name, I really want to acknowledge the realities of this industry, and why the whole endeavor was perhaps doomed from the start regardless of Karpyshyn’s talent or wishes as an author.

The most jarring thing about this reading experience is as follows: I spent almost 80k words exploring this universe with new characters and side characters, all of them supposedly cool and interesting, and I learned nothing. I learned nothing new about the world, nothing new about the characters. Now that it’s over, I’m left wondering how I could chew on so much and gain so little. Maybe it’s just me, but more likely it’s by design. Not on poor Drew. Now that I did IP work myself, I have developed an acute sympathy for anyone who has to deal with the maddening contradictions of this type of business. Let me explain.

IP-adjacent media (in the West at least) sure has for goal to expand the universe: but expand as in bloat, not as in deepen. The target for this book is nerds like me, who liked the games and want more of this thing we liked. But then we’re confronted by two major competitors: the actual original media (in ME’s case, the games) whose this product is a marketing tool for, and fandom. IP books are not allowed to compete with the main media: the good ideas are for the main media, and any meaningful development has to be made in the main media (see: what happened with Kai Leng, or how everyone including me complains about the worldbuilding to the Disney Star Swars trilogy being hidden in the novelization). And when it comes to authorship (as in: taking an actual risk with the media and give it a personal spin), then we risk introducing ideas that complicate the main media even though a ridiculously small percent of the public will be attached to it, or ideas that fans despise. Of course we can’t have the latter. And once the fandom is huge enough, digging into anything the fans have strong headcanons for already risks creating a lot of emotions once some of these are made canon and some are disregarded. As much as I joke about how in Mass Effect you can learn about any gun in excrutiating details but we still don’t know if asaris have a concept for marriage... would we really want to know how/if asaris marry, or aren’t we glad we get to be creative and put our own spin on things? The dance between fandom and canon is a delicate one that can and will go wrong. And IP books are generally not worth the drama for the stakeholders.

Add this to insane deadlines, numerous parties all involved in some way and the usual struggles of book writing, and we get a situation where creating anything of value is pretty much a herculean task.

But then I ask... why do IP books *have* to be considered canon? I know this is part of the appeal, and that removing the “licenced” part only leaves us with published fanfiction, but... yeah. Yeah. I think it could be a fascinating model. Can you imagine having your IP and hiring X amount of distinctive authors to give it their own spin, not as definitive additions to the world but as creative endeavours and authorial deepdives? It would allow for these novels to be comparative and companion to the main media instead of being weird appendages that can never compare, and the structure would allow for these stories to be polished and edited to a higher level than most fanfictions. Of course I’m biased because I have a deep belief in the power of fanfiction as commentary and conversational piece. But I would really love to see companies’ approach to creative risk and canon to change. We might get Disney stuff until we die now, so the least we can ask for is for this content to be a little weird, personal and human.

That’s it. That’s the whole review. Thank you for reading, it was very long and weirdly passionate, have a nice dayyyyy.

[infpisme]

4 Reasons INFPs Are So Restless

We see the world for what it “should be,” and this makes it incredibly challenging to remain static in life.

Some say I have the attention span of a goldfish. On the one hand, I can absolutely see where they are coming from. I can be mid-conversation, and if I am not entirely focused on the interaction at hand, then I drift away quickly. However, I would argue that this is a representation of my restlessness as an INFP — one of the rarer Myers-Briggs personality types — rather than a short attention span. 

It isn’t that I get distracted per se, but instead I lose interest and drift away into the beautiful world of my mind, where even the most mundane of life experiences can be transformed into a glorious story of good and evil, of love and loss — a tale of blockbuster credibility. In general, INFPs are incredibly self-aware, curious, and have a rich inner world. 

To the outside world, the combination of those three traits may sometimes come off as restlessness (though we’re not the only Myers-Briggs personalities whose minds often wander). If you’ve ever wondered if you should try to curb your restless behavior, though, I would like to remind you that it adds a certain mystery and lure to life.

There are solid reasons INFPs get restless, and they speak to the magic that makes us the most idealistic personality type. Here are four reasons you may find yourself restless, and why you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it.  

4 Reasons INFPs Get Restless

1. We are dreamers.

At our core, we are dreamers and idealists. We see the world for what it “should be,” and this makes it incredibly challenging to remain static in life.

On the one hand, this rose-colored lens instills an air of excitement and wonder that encourages us to move on and chase beauty whenever we come across it. But if we lose sight of that luster, no matter where we currently are in life, it is incredibly difficult to remain focused. Either way, both of these mentalities leave an eagerness to see more, do more, and feel more.

Regardless of the root cause (boredom with the present or excitement about the future), the result is the same: INFPs want to pack up and move on to the next great adventure. Not only is this normal, but it is a good thing for our development.

This fascination with all the things that should and could be has propelled me into some of the most trying times in my life, but it also has spurred an immense amount of growth and personal development. For example, after finishing my undergrad, my two best friends and I loaded into my truck and hit the road.

We had not much more than a rough map of where we sought to go, but embarked on a five-week journey across North America. None of us had the funds to pull it off, so we brought a tent, and found free camping along the way. From frigid nights in Telluride, CO, to the scorching sun of Moab, UT, we saw, did, and felt so much throughout our travels. Had it not been for my restless nature, I would never have embarked on such a journey.

So keep chasing those rainbows, INFP.

2. We despise conflict.

Another reason we may wrap up parts of life in a nice little box and move on is our tendency to mitigate conflict. I don’t want to say “avoid,” since that has a negative connotation, but many INFPs (myself included) really do try to avoid conflict.

What I mean is we often sense impending doom, and skip town before the situation gets to that point. INFPs have high levels of intuition and perception, meaning we can sense others’ emotions and know when conflict is brewing. As highly sensitive people, we would rather have a somber memory of what once was — a feeling of melancholy — than risk watching a relationship or situation crumble. 

This conflict avoidance can be seen in a number of realms — workplaces, friendships, or romantic relationships — but the result is often the same. We will eventually find a reason to justify moving on, so we can weave the impending conflict into a grand story, rather than simply address it head on.

3. We prefer our lives to be highlight reels.

As idealists, life feels as though it is some grand story woven together with beautiful intricacy. The lows are gut-wrenching moments in a heartbreaking tale, and the highs are marks of victory and revelation. Because of this lens through which we view life, we have little patience for mundane activities. We have a bigger and better story to write, so we must move on to the next adventure.

For example, I often reflect on crossroads and the decisions I’ve made there. When looking back with 20/20 hindsight, it’s become clear to me that, more often than not, I follow the path that will give me a blockbuster movie. This is ultimately what led me to quit my engineering job to pursue starting my own company. I was only eight months into the job, but it seemed like the natural progression of the “story of Cole,” which made the decision to change career paths so appealing. I had no solid plan for making money, and was relying on my gut being correct. But what sold me was there was so much more learning to come from having no safety net and forging my own future.

INFPs feel the need to grow constantly, and throwing in the occasional plot twist is often the perfect way to do so. But these plot twists are often perceived as restlessness.

4. We need to understand ourselves better.

The central theme of the INFP story is that of self-discovery. One of my main driving factors in life is to understand myself and find my place in the larger picture of the world. Because of this, I often take a step back from my current situation to digest a number of things:

*First, I am checking in to evaluate what I’ve learned recently. By pausing life, this moment of reflection gives me clarity about myself. 

*Second, I am generally looking to what could be next. How can I capture new experiences, push myself further, and understand myself better?

These two factors often create a feedback loop with one another, which further enhances the quality of restlessness. Since INFPs are continually on the search for true understanding, this lends to a whimsical — and sometimes restless — approach to life.

INFPs are naturally wired to possess an air of restlessness. Between the idealistic, rose-colored lens through which we view life, our hatred of conflict, and our deep-rooted need to truly understand ourselves, it may feel as if we are always on the move and ready for something new.

When You Feel Too Restless

However, you may be asking yourself, how restless is too restless? If you feel this way, I want you to keep these things in mind:

*When you feel the stirrings of a new adventure calling your name, sit on it for at least a few days. We often feel differently about ideas throughout various parts of the day, and setting a deliberation period can give you more clarity to pursue only the adventures that are best for you.

*It’s okay to remain static in life for a while, especially when there are external pressures that need to be met. To rekindle the joyous and idealistic nature of your INFP self, take to hobbies during these times. Pick up a guitar or grab a pen and paper. Channel your creative juices and live out your adventures in your head, just for now.

*Finally, don’t feel so bad about being “restless.” Sure, it may be irresponsible from time to time, but the adventurous nature of INFPs truly makes life beautiful and inspiring, both for yourself and others.

These tendencies lend to a beautiful outlook on life, but it is important to always remember to take time and smell the roses. If you wrestle with wondering whether you should dial back your INFP quirkiness, then remember this quote from T.S. Eliot: “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

by Cole Powers, IntrovertDear

[scarletravenswood]

HOW DO SPELLS WORK?

We’ve all grown up seeing spells performed in movies and tv shows. For the most part these Hollywood depictions of spellwork have led to a lot of misinformation, especially when it comes to understanding how spells work and what to expect when you perform your own spells. The magic of modern day witchcraft looks nothing like Harry Potter or Sabrina, but that doesn’t mean it’s not powerful or effective. In this post I want to share my views on the underlying philosophies, mechanisms, and physics in place that make spellwork work.

We can start by asking ourselves “What is a spell?” While there are many definitions out there, I would define a spell as simply your willpower in action. When performing a spell you are setting an intention, focusing your energy, and sending it outward to achieve a particular result. This intention-setting and exerted energy is the core component of a spell.

Since ancient times people have understood on an intuitive level that our thoughts and focused attention have immense power. Throughout the centuries spellwork was a method that tapped into this power of our own mind & energy and I find it very exciting to see that over time the scientific community has started to warm up to the idea that our minds are in fact very powerful. There have been countless studies on benefits of meditation and there has even been a lot of recent research done on how focused attention can create positive effects in the physical body.

We also know from physics that our thoughts have matter and spells are really just a manifestation of our thoughts. Some of the most fascinating studies being done on the power of our thoughts are about the placebo effect. We don’t yet fully understand how or why the placebo effect works. I think it’s definitely possible that at least part of the reason spellwork is effective is due to the placebo effect. In my view that doesn’t devalue the spellwork, instead I think the placebo effect enhances the effectiveness of the spell. I would recommend reading “Real Magic” by Dean Radin if you’re interested in learning more about the empirical data & scientific experiments currently being done on magic and spellwork.

The power of the mind is not the only component of a successful spell. What makes spells within witchcraft unique is that they also usually include additional materials which are meant to assist and amplify the spell. Often these additional items are nature-based, such as herbs and crystals.

So why would adding natural items increase the effectiveness of a spell? To understand this we need to go against certain aspects of the Western scientific worldview. In ancient times it was commonly believed that nature and the universe had a divine essence or consciousness and that spellwork was a way to tap into this universal energy. As we transitioned into the modern era, a division was formed between science and spirituality. Over time that division widened significantly to the point where more and more people began to view the natural world as just material without any divine or spiritual significance. I definitely recommend reading “Cosmos and Psyche” by Richard Tarnas if you want to learn more about this significant worldview shift.

The common belief held today is that only humans have a high level of consciousness and as such we humans are entitled to dominate the natural world however we want. This worldview is drastically different from how our Pagan ancestors viewed the universe. While pagan societies varied across the world, most of them had an animistic worldview. Many believed that there was a life force or consciousness that connected all things in the natural world. Instead of trying to rule over nature, our pagan ancestors viewed themselves as active participants in the wider natural forces at work.

To me the belief that the universe is completely devoid of meaning and that “true” consciousness only exists within the human mind seems like hubris, especially considering that consciousness itself is still mostly a mystery for modern scientists. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to believe that there is some inherent power or consciousness within natural materials such as herbs and plants. And if that is true, the addition of these natural materials could add an extra energy to a spell that could enhance and expand its effectiveness.

Usually the specific herb or natural item used contains an attribute that corresponds to the intention of a spell. For example, in a money spell you might use cinnamon as cinnamon is associated with money and luck. This creates a symbiotic relationship where the intention of gaining wealth is enhanced by the herb that shares the same folkloric meaning.

Finally there is a third element that is also occasionally incorporated in spellwork, which is a call for help from the divine. Just as Christians call for help from God during prayer, a witch might ask one or multiple deities for assistance in their spell. Asking for help forces us to lower our ego just a bit. We’re surrendering and reaching out to the divine within the universe and sometimes the divine reaches back.

If we accept a more animistic worldview, we begin to understand that there is so much to the world that we don’t yet know and that instead of trying to assert our dominance as humans, we can strive to humbly work with the powers of nature and the universe. Spells are more than just a way to get what you want in the world, to me they are a mechanism for building a better relationship to the natural world and the divine essence within the universe.

I hope you enjoyed this post and next I want to hear your thoughts on these ideas. Why do you think spells work? 🤗