#it would be soooo easy to just get rid of it forever..................

[apuff]

never been closer to deleting my acc ngl

[sabo-has-my-heart]

TPRG Ch.3: Lessons and Propositions

Warnings: minor violence

Word Count: 1730

Looking at your rather dispirited form, Sabo couldn’t help the slight concern. Your attitude earlier was one of an energetic mischief maker, not the downcast young woman flopped backwards over the arm of the couch before him.

“Is something the matter, Princess?” Sabo asked, receiving a groan in reply.

“Madam Selena really laid into me for skipping my lessons. Tomorrow is going to be torture! You’d think after so many years of lesson after lesson, I’d be done with them, but noooo. You don’t talk like a proper princess, you need to learn to walk properly, don’t eat like that.” you mimicked before giving another groan.

“If it’s any consolation, I think you play the perfect part of a princess. When we first met you, I thought you’d be like every other noble I’d ever met.” Ace said, hoping to comfort you.

“Tell that to Madam Selena. She’s soooo horrible!” you whined as one of your handmaidens entered and started picking up your hair accessories.

“Maybe we will. We’re your royal guard, so we have to follow you around. Your father approves of us as your royal guard so it’s not going to be easy to just get rid of us.” Sabo said with a grin, Ace and Luffy grinning as well.

“Be careful, she’s a witch. Do you know how many times she’s smacked my ankles with that damned walking stick?” you asked, glancing up at him.

“About as many times as Garp beat us into the ground?” Ace offered, the three boys flinching.

“I suppose that’s fair. Thinking of knights being beaten into the ground, Luffy, do you still have those wooden swords?” you asked, glancing over at the boy.

“Yeah! I can try and sneak them over!” Luffy said, bouncing up and down.

“Please! I haven’t practiced in forever. I keep telling my father that if he let me train, I wouldn’t need a royal guard, I could be my own royal guard, but no. Madam Selena put a stop to that too! Princesses can’t have calluses, princesses shouldn’t know how to fight, princesses can’t have any fun!” you shouted in annoyance, throwing your head back again, your arms thrown into the air. Ace and Sabo chuckled while Luffy giggled at your reaction, watching as your arms fell next to your head over the armrest.

“Well, now you have three of the finest soldiers in the kingdom to train you in secret.” Ace said with a cocky grin Sabo and Luffy nodding in agreement.

“Good, because I plan to catch up as quickly as possible… which is going to be hard when I have lessons, but damn it, I’m going to do this!” you shouted, raising your fist as the three brothers cheered. Well, at least you had your high spirits back. 

Sure enough, the next day, Sabo was staring down an older woman with a cane.

“Repeat that?” the woman hissed, standing close to the young man.

“I said that I think she already makes a great princess. She certainly had us fooled when she first visited.” Sabo repeated, a grin on his face.

“What would a simple knight know about the etiquette of a lady, let alone a princess.” the woman said with a glare.

“Actually, I’m not just a knight ma’am. I’m the son of a noble as well as a royal guard. Walking through these halls, I’ve seen many ladies, none of whom have shown such poise and posture as Y/N.” Sabo replied, receiving another angry glare from the woman as she moved closer to the boy. Your eyes widened as the flat of Sabo’s blade met with Madam Selena’s cane as she swung at his legs.

“My apologies Madam Selena, but as a royal knight, it’s my job to be the best, this means that I can’t allow anyone to attack me in such a way, even a harmless woman such as yourself.” Sabo said with a mischievous smirk and a small bow. Selena’s glare intensified as she swung at Sabo a few more times, each strike blocked with the flat of his blade. Finally the older woman hobbled back over to you. Once she was behind you, she began to raise her cane once more. Ace was next to you in a flash, blocking the cane that had been about to strike your lower back.

“While I understand your desire to punish my brother for his actions, and while I understand that punishing Princess Y/N would, indeed, make my brother feel guilty for causing her pain, I must insist that you not attack the princess without cause.” Ace said with a smirk, surprising you and the older woman before her look darkened as Luffy pulled you away, standing in front of you to protect you from the woman, Sabo moving to stand behind you and to your right and Ace, after lowering his sword, moving to stand behind you and to your left.

“This is unacceptable! It is my job to train the princess how to act properly in royal society and yet not only do rumors persist of her rebellious nature, but now three guards are keeping me from my work? How is the princess supposed to learn?” the woman shrieked.

“We’re not saying that you can’t train Princess Y/N, but you shouldn’t attack her just because you’re mad at Sabo.” Luffy said with a huff, crossing his arms.

“And all I was saying was that I think you’re too hard on her and that I thought she was doing great.” Sabo added, Madam Selena glowering at the boys.

“Cosette!” the woman screeched, summoning a young woman with light brown hair and freckles.

“Y-yes Madam?” the girl asked meekly.

“Fetch the king, I wish to speak with him.” the older woman demanded, watching as the girl ran off to fetch your father. The three boys continued to stand around you protectively, even as your father entered the room, Madam Selena shouting about ‘unruly boys’, ‘a misbehaving princess’, and ‘being unable to teach like this’. Luffy glared at the woman once she’d finished, the woman still looking at the king sternly.

“You’re a liar.” Luffy stated, drawing the attention of both the king and Madam Selena.

“How dare you-.”

“Hold on, Madam Selena. Luffy, you’ve been an honest kid for most of your life and even on the rare occasion when you did lie, you were terrible at it. Tell me what happened.” your father said, looking at the boys.

“Sabo told her she was being too hard on Y/N, then she attacked him. When she went to punish Y/N for what Sabo had done, Ace stepped in and protected her. She got really mad after that and started screaming and a girl went to get you.” Luffy explained, giving Madam Selena a large frown. Your father sighed and crossed his arms, looking between you and your instructor.

“Madam Selena, I know my daughter has always been… unconventional, however, she’s been taking lessons since she was a child, surely she’s been taught everything she could possibly need.” he said, turning towards the woman who huffed.

“Nonsense, a princess like her, she’s completely unsuitable for marriage. A good Queen and wife must be poised, proper. She must be calm, beautiful, and regal. Your daughter is wild, her hands show signs of physical strain, distasteful rumors persist, and a lack of responsibility to her kingdom in her refusal to even consider the princes I have shown her.” the woman spat, shooting a glare your way.

“I understand that a queen must possess certain qualities, but her mother was just as wild, yet made a spectacular queen. She was loved by the people of the kingdom and ruled with kindness. My late wife’s hands were calloused from hard work, her skin tanned from hours under the sun, and often ripped her silk clothing, yet she was just as calm, beautiful and regal as any queen. Rumors will persist no matter how well you teach my daughter, nobles are terrible gossips and I’m not worried about a marriage yet. My health is good, I am still young, and our kingdom does not attract the assassins that other kingdoms do. And she shouldn’t need to worry about marriage before her coming of age ceremony has even happened.” your father explained with a sigh. You watched as the woman’s face turned red in anger. Few people talked to her in such a manner, simply accepting the woman’s appraisal of women and allowing her to work.

“Your Highness, I really must insist that she learn more!” Selena shouted, glancing at you before giving your father a pleading look, “She is unready for the social life befitting that of a princess! A husband should still be found sooner rather than later, while she’s still young and beautiful, and she should learn how to behave around her future husband. While I understand that you and the late queen were lucky enough to fall in love, few royals are allowed such a luxury, she should know-.”

“Enough!” your father bellowed, giving everyone a hard stare, “Here’s what will happen. Madam Selena, you and I shall gather people who can evaluate my daughter’s abilities as a princess. When she’s in the privacy of her own quarters, she’ll be allowed to act however she wishes, however, for the next month, she’s to be watched and examined by those we bring in, ending in her coming of age ceremony. We won’t be actively looking for a husband yet, but it will allow my daughter to start looking over potential suitors. After the ball, we and our chosen specialists shall gather and decide how well she did, if she did well enough, then your services will no longer be needed, if she doesn’t, then I shall tell her personal guard that you’re allowed to train her as you see fit.” you father explained before looking at you, “You’re not to consciously change how to act outside of your room, your private study, or your private reading room.” your father instructed. You nodded, a little nervous about your father’s proposition. “We’ll begin at the start of next month, for now, my daughter will be free of lessons.” he finished. You gave your father a small curtsy, giving Madam Selena a dark smirk the moment your father’s back was turned

[obeyme-ladiesnight]

Card Overlay made by @/auzlsartdump

Unlock the story below!

Easter Surprise!

“Come on girls! We have to hide these eggs quickly!” Asmo cheered as she managed to skip through the grass in heels. She was trailed by her older sisters, Leviathan and Satan who looked a little less than happy about their current situation.

“This is soooo lame! I can’t believe we’re doing this. We dropped out of the Celestial Realm, so why do we have to keep up this religious obligation?” Levi whined as she placed a couple eggs in a nearby bush before trotting after her more cheerful sister.

“Well we’re aren’t celebrating the religious part, Levi~ We’re just doing the fun and sexy part!” Asmo corrected as she placed a few eggs in some tall blades of grass. 

“I don’t recall Easter usually being a sexy holiday.” Satan piped up adjusting the hem of her top that was a tad too snug for her chest. The three girls were all dressed as the Easter bunnies as they hid their eggs around the forest. However, Asmo insisted they went as Playboy Easter bunnies. Each girl wore a specifically colored form fitting outfit with floppy bunny ears aside from Levi who styled her hair to mimic the shape. 

“It just so happens that it is my obligation to make any opportunity to dress up a sexy opportunity to dress up.” Asmo declared matter-of-factly. “Now come on. We have to finish hiding the eggs. Everyone will begin searching soon.” The three nodded in agreement and began finding more places to hide their colorfully patterned eggs. The youngest of the present siblings carefully placed each egg down in spots that would be easy to locate, but at the same time easy to miss. The middle sibling chose to hide eggs in areas that would be overlooked. While the eldest sibling dumped the rest of her eggs in a nearby bush so she can continue playing her mobile dating game in the meantime. In a few moments they were down to the very last egg. “Hmm~ Where should we hide this one?” Questioned the little sister.

~*~*~

“Just drop it in the grass and let’s go. I’m tired of walking in heels and my phone is almost dead, and I’m booooored...” Levi started whining again.

“No. No. No. This is our last egg! We have to hide this one in a special place.” Asmo protested.

“Then toss it in the river. I’m sure wherever it lands will be very special.” Satan remarked.

“Absolutely not! It would be gone forever if I did that.” Asmo further protested.

“Ugh~ I’m with Levi on this. I’m tired of trudging around in this outfit. Just get rid of that egg so we can go. I don’t even care where.” Satan stated with an apparent impatient tone. Asmo paused, then an idea sparked in her mind.

“Okay okay! We can go right after I hide the egg here!” Asmo did a hop, skip, and a step towards Satan and before her grumpy sister could question her actions, she squished the egg into Satan’s cleavage. “There we go! Now let’s go!” Asmo proceeded to leave her sisters behind softly giggling to herself. Levi covered her mouth trying to muffle her laughter, while Satan was stunned for a hot minute. Then she snapped back to reality.

~*~*~

“HEY! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!” Satan shouted as she chased after Asmo. Levi followed behind. Asmo turned on her heel to shrug.

“I chose to hide the egg in the best place I could ever imagine, which just so happens to be in your tightly packed bosom! Why are you complaining? You said you didn’t care where I put it.” Asmo cheekily replied. 

“Gah! There’s no room for anything to hide in here! Why didn’t you put it in Levi’s top? She has plenty of space!” Satan yelled.

“Ehhh?! S-s-Shut up! Don’t bring me into this!” Levi shouted back. Satan was about to retort, but flinched as her face went bright pink. Both sisters acknowledged this sudden action. “Um… Something wrong?” Levi asked.

“I-It twitched.” Satan quietly spoke looking down at the egg. Just a few seconds passed when the egg began to move again and crack and a few moments later, a little baby bird pecked it’s way out of the shell. 

“Haha! Would you look at that! Satan is a mommy!” 

“Uuuwwah! No way! If my phone wasn’t dead I would have recorded the birth!” 

Satan was speechless. She could only stare in shock and awe at her little newborn peeping on her chest nest. 

[alma37]

I checked on AO3 and, a year ago today [02/02/20, for those of you who are a few hours behind France], I started posting for a deliciously wicked fandom, Dracula 2020.

So, to mark the occasion, I decided to post here (on AO3 later today), a little one-shot I thought about a few days ago. I wanted to put it in one of my wip, but it didn’t quite fit. I still liked the idea, though, and I needed to write it.

This is also kind of a gift for @hopipollahorror and @lady-of-the-wolves, my steadiest supporters of late. Thank you, girls, I am not sure I would have started writing again without your support.

For @thebeautyofdisorder, I know you had a rough year and I wish you a great 2021. We have so many tastes in common, It seems I continuously reblog from you. I am well aware it won’t make your troubles disappear, but I hope this little piece will make you forget them for 5 minutes (and that it won’t be perceived as further punishment or what’s the phrase? Cruel and unusual punishment!😉) .

For my other mutuals, I know we don’t talk much, if at all, but I am glad you came to see and stayed.

And, of course, for all my followers, occasional readers and everyone else who took the time to come and check my little nothing of a blog, leave comments, reblogs and likes. Thank you guys.

And now, i leave you with a small piece I had great fun to write. As usual.

I apologise for the long-ish introduction.

*************

This is a Dragatha, sometimes in the future (theirs, not ours; perhaps it is our present, in fact, who knows?). Dracula turned Agatha into a vampire. A long time before this fic.

Some sort of enemies with benefits.

And it actually answers to this prompt. I think.

Title : A [h]arrowing evening

Fandom : Dracula TV 2020

Relationship : Agatha x Dracula

Rate : I’d say T or light M

Words : I don’t know, I didn’t count, go check on AO3 when it’s posted!

- Come on, Agatha. Just admit it : you like me!

The former nun turned vampire, Dracula's most fervent opponent, was backed up against the wall, a small wooden arrow in her hand. Why did she decide to come and see him in his own apartment, she’ll never know. Her nemesis was crowding her, a triumphant smile on his face. She defended herself.

- Stop being so arrogant, Count. I don't like you.

- Oh but I think you do. Very much so.

His growing smirk, his roving hands and, mostly his acumen were too much for her. Suddenly blinded by years of pent up rage and frustration, she drove the arrow into his chest with ferocious intent. The small stake slid under his ribs upwards towards his heart.

For a moment, they stayed still face to face, Dracula's smile slowly fading, morphing into an expression of utter stupefaction, as his eyes fell on the weapon thrust into his thorax. Annoyed, Agatha pushed him backwards. To her absolute consternation, he stumbled with a groan, then bent over, his hand reaching blindly for the small piece of wood. His face was now wearing an expression of agony before his legs started to give out under him. With horror, Agatha watched him slowly falling to his knees before his upper body followed suit and he went down like a dead weight. By chance or instinct, he fell to his side, only just avoiding the stake from driving through his heart. Once on the floor, he started writhing in pain, barely able to hold his screams. Finally, Agatha understood : the arrow must have stopped short of piercing the heart, but was probably touching it if his convulsions were any indication.

After a moment of indecision, Agatha grabbed his shoulders to hold him flat on his back then straddled him.

- Stop squirming. You'll only succeed in piercing your heart yourself.

- As if you didn't intend to do it!" Her victim hissed through his pain.

Agatha opened her mouth to retort, then closed it, before she finally replied, surprised with herself :

- I... don't know.

His face was deformed by the unusual pain he was in. She supposed he probably hadn't felt this bad in centuries. Serves him right, but... His strained voice made her jumped out of her thoughts.

- Whatever you intend to do, Agatha, please do it now. It is unbearable.

At his begging tone, the younger vampire froze for a long time, undecided : finish him off, like she promised herself a long time ago, as it was a chance she certainly wouldn't have again, or remove the arrow and stop the bleeding, against all her principles?

Her nemesis was in a state of anguish she had never seen him before. He was shaking so hard, trying to control his body.

But he wasn't begging anymore, just waiting for her decision. She could see in his eyes the torture he was enduring. He still didn't utter another sound.

And she realised that, as much as she thought she hated him, she couldn't bring herself to just end his life, as lifeless as it was.

He was not only a unique creature, he was also the only one who understood her and she realised with a shock that she came to care about him in a way that prevented her from driving the small arrow all the way through his heart. She actually liked their fighting : it was invigorating and, yes, fun. They hadn't really tried to kill each other for years now. His half-hearted attempts to get rid of her, lately, was his way of flirting, she supposed. And apparently, she thought in dismay, became hers too.

But the biggest blow came when she finally realised she actually wanted to tame him somehow or maybe convince him to redeem himself in some ways, which was barely thinkable, much less doable. She just wanted him. Full stop. And annihilating him forever didn't suit her purpose anymore.

- Whenever you want, darling." The count groaned through gritted teeth, his brow drained in sweat.

At last, Agatha came to a decision and, instead of doing what her conscience was telling her, she chose to follow her heart : she wrapped her hand around the piece of arrow that stuck out from his chest and pulled it out without warning.

She was thrown out from his lap by his violent recoil as he screamed out of his lungs in pain. Agatha, not deterred, scrabbled back to him and pinched the wound to stop the bleeding. That last part was easy, as Dracula had promptly passed out.

When she understood he wasn't going to wake up any time soon, she put him to bed and took a book, while keeping watch over him, berating herself all night long for her weakness.

At dawn, the older vampire slowly emerged from unconsciousness. When he opened his eyes, he looked around as if searching for something - or someone. When he found her watching over her book, he started asking in a rough voice : "What..." He cleared his throat several times before trying again :

- What happened?

Agatha lifted an eyebrow.

- Don't you remember?

Dracula began shaking his head :

- I don't... I seem to remember flirting with you and... Ah!" His face cleared. "Yes! You tried to kill me.

Agatha shrugged.

- And I would have succeeded this time.

Dracula straightened up with a groan. Agatha, taking pity on him, piled up a few pillows behind his back and helped him get a more comfortable position on the bed. When she tried to sit back on her armchair, the Count held on to her hand, so she was either obliged to sit on the bed or tried to shake his grip. She chose the easy path and sat next to him.

- So why didn't you finish me off?You had me at your mercy, you could have cleared this world of my evil presence.

Agatha didn't look at him but rather at their joined hands.

- I.. I don't know.

- You would have missed me!

Agatha snapped back.

- Don't be ridiculous!

Dracula smiled his devilish smile.

- You, Agatha van Helsing, like me!

- I most certainly do not!" Agatha protested, outraged. She tried to remove her hand from his, but he was holding fast.

- Well, I wouldn't blame you, you know. I am probably... Definitely head over heels in love with you after last night's little demonstration.

Agatha finally pulled her hand out of his, and stood up, shaking her head.

- You are a...

- monster?

-... beast! And obviously better. So I am leaving. Goodbye, Count Dracula.

Dracula reached for her once more :

- No, wait!

Agatha sighed, annoyed :

- What?

- You could at least kiss it better.

The former nun was about to will him to hell but something in his apparent casualness made her change her mind. She came back to sit on the bed and, after barely an hesitation, she straddled him. She felt him tensed momentarily, probably a reminder of the previous night. But he relaxed when she gently unbuttoned his shirt. She glanced at him and smiled when she saw his look of intense concentration turned towards her. She bent over and she licked the disappearing scar under his ribs. She felt his entire body shudder with pleasure, which made her smile grow larger. She had cleaned him the previous night, so there was no blood to tempt her. His all body was temptation enough. She nibbled at the scar then soothed it with her lips and tongue. Her nemesis had grown rigid from repressed desire. She finally moved from the scar to make her way upwards with slow, languorous and arousing kisses.

The first time he tried to touch her, she took his hands and flattened them back on the bed. The second time, she just held onto them.

The third time, she felt his eagerness wouldn't be denied, so she deftly evaded his grasp before he could close in on her. She moved swiftly out of the bed and put some distance between them, so that he could not reach her fast enough.

- And that's about all the kisses you'll ever have from me. Get a rest, Count Dracula. I will come and check on you tonight.

Without waiting for an answer, she left him in a state of obvious arousal, but laughing at her cunning.

- I can't wait." He called after her. He couldn't resist having the last word. Agatha shook her head in disbelief, but she was smiling.

*********************

Soooo, what did you think? (If it’s bad, please don’t tell me! 😉)

Anyway, I just really really wanted her to stab him at close range and truly physically HURT him (like Zoe, in TDC, but more purposely, if you know what I mean).

For the arrow, I imagine she has a small-ish one, like those used for a crossbow, except it is completely made of wood, even the tip. Something like that...

But, well, you know me : I always prefer a happy (-ish) ending. Reality’s sad enough. We don’t need it into fiction. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it.

If you really liked it, give me a shout and I’ll post the little follow-up I just had an idea of. Which is more on the comedy side (as in funny).

[transsexualhamlet]

Hide and hyperempathy

Yes this is another headcanons post

(yeah i did put my result picture for a uquiz from forever ago i think it applies)

So you all know that I'm obsessed with this man but here's some more content because that's exactly what I'm doing and I think it completely applies to him. I think everyone's established that this bitch has adhd, and although I am only in possession of ~le autism~, most of the traits, pretty much overlap anyway and one of them I think he really has (that I also have lmao) is hyperempathy.

For those of you that aren't aware, it's pretty self explanatory? He has way more empathy than normal people just like some other neurodivergent ppl have less. And since I'm projecting here are some. Things about that

-his secondhand embarrassment is fucking TERRIBLE. Usually he's not squeamish in any way so this is surprising to people that are getting to know him, Kaneki probably thinks it's cute but like they'll be watching a movie, like, someone does something mildly awkward that's supposed to be funny, and he'll just DIE. Just simply. Pass away. Like he'll cover his ears and have kaneki tap him when it's over ahwhhsdhfsdhds (me too king)

-Kaneki gives him his old sweatshirts because hide will feel bad if he gets rid of them (and then hide wears them lmao, so kaneki always gets them a size too big

-Hide has,,, problems with giving Kaneki money. Like he'll do it for literally any reason even if he doesn't have any to spare. It was fair when they were kids because Kaneki usually needed it and Hide's family is probably not struggling, but now that he's trying to live on his own Kaneki is like "bro stop giving me money i can literally pay for things" and he's like "yeah but have you considered i could also pay for things”

-Along with secondhand embarrassment comes secondhand stage fright. Like he gets super anxious when Kaneki comes on stage, or anyone for that matter, worried that they'll mess up even though he's never worried about himself. I can imagine that being very fun when Kaneki was the lead in that play./s  And to be honest, he probably feels bad about it, he's like "come on, kaneki's got this, I have faith in him, why would I think that??" but when Kaneki gets up there he's petrified he might mess up oh dear

-He's the kind of guy who will do anything to help someone, and everyone knows firsthand that means Anything. Even if he realizes it's really not good for him, he can't refuse it, especially when it's Kaneki. He feels he needs to be available, he'll drop anything even if it will hurt him he'll die inside if he can't help or says he can't no matter if there’s any perfectly good excuse.

-He's probably really up on all sorts of current Issues and he always tries to do something about them, he always wants to know all the Political Correctness and Problems In The World but it drains a lot of his energy because he *can't stop caring about them*. 

-this extends to ghoul problems too, that he's spent a LOT of energy trying to learn about and fix, because that's totally his responsibility in his pov even though it literally isn't. He's convinced he just needs to single handedly make everyone happy and save the entire world from every systemic problem

-He'll kind of be nice to literally anyone even if he knows the person he's talking to is a mass murderer bc like what if they're sad

-He gives really good tips and if he forgets to he might run all the way back to the restaurant and do it otherwise he'll cry

-He tends to be friendly and joking but in general he is very respectful and will constantly ask if things are ok if he's being annoying if he's being rude yaknow

-he's probably seen a lot of death in his life because of being adjacent with Kaneki And His Ghoul Drama, and he takes it *really hard*. Battles are hell for him even if he's not participating just like, there, and the Anteiku one especially I think that kinda scarred him forever even before all the shit went down. Seeing all these dead people just laying on the ground and everyone fighting and getting hurt really bad and he's like "FUCK FUCK STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE JUST GET ALONG"

-on that vein he hates it when people are in fights because he can probably understand both sides and he's good at stopping them but it's like yeah he needs to stop them for his mental well being

-he’s probably the kind of kid who was absolutely ruthless with bullies, even if he didn’t know the kid who was being bullied he’d insert himself right in there even if he got in trouble because of it.

-it's soooo easy for him to forgive people that it's kind of a problem and he forgives a lot of shitty people. After his character development kaneki probably realizes this and is like "fuck that i am going to fight everyone shitty for you" but the problem is kaneki probably thinks it applies to him and therefore kaneki is a bad person and hide should also Not Put Up With Him (which isn’t true bc he’s better now i swear)

-He's super intuitive with emotions so he's really good at telling through lies not just because kaneki is a horrible liar (which, he is) but because it's just really fucking obvious to him when someone's feeling off

-He probably feels really bad for getting legitimate trauma from seeing the anteiku battle because "well i wasn't even involved come on the people who actually got hurt have it worse" but like kign

yeah i definitely have more but literally no one cares take my emotions

[adhd-demetri]

First things first, love the new url, it's super you. Second are you working on the story for your oc? I actually want to read more on it -Jane

Yep and after thinking about it, if you have a twilight oc, message me and I'll add them into the story :) but this is it so far. Consider this a free sample

~Breaking news~

Things are getting pretty wild in ohio near cowan lake campgrounds. Two coyotes and wolf have been spotted in the area roaming around together wrecking havoc and panic. Biologists are baffled by the sudden appearance of a wolf in ohio with what is supposed to be their enemy.

No one knows where the trio came from but police and wildlife officials are urging people to haze them away and for parents of pets and children alike to keep a sharp eye on them.

Witnesses say they have been seen near dumpsters and trash cans tearing open bags of uneaten food-

-Click-

Demi turned off his phone as he took a bite out of a sub he and his mate had dug out of the dumpster. He snickered at the thought of him, his little brother and his mate 'wrecking havoc' over simply digging in dumpsters for goodies people through out. Like phone chargers, towels, clothing, sleeping bags and even small one person tents with easy fixes.

People are so wasteful. Throwing away perfectly good treasures. Oh well, they were now theirs.

Casper walked up behind him and threw down a tent that he just patched up. It was a cheap green and beige 4 person tent that had a hole in the roof of it. It wasn't nothing special truthfully.

"What do you think? Nice patch work right?" He said looking very proud of his work. Demi turned around and ran his fingers over the the patch, inspecting the delicate stitching and the vinyl that protected them from wear-and-tear.

"Looks good Cas, can't imagine why someone would get rid of this for a easy fix!" He shrugged, oh well. It now belongs to his younger brother.

As he got up from the forest floor, he dusted off the leaves and dirt that clung to the back of his pants. Grabbing the tent, he headed to Caspers car that was parked by an abandoned entrance way that led to overgrown trails leading to their little hideout.

"Hey alex. Check it out, Cas fixed you a tent. Now you can go camping with us instead of sleeping in the car." He said giving his 10 year old little brother the now fixed up tent.

Alex was sitting in the back playing mario kart tour on his phone. He glanced down quickly and laid his phone down. He picked up the tent bag and looked at its contents. His baby blue eyes started to widen with excitement.

"Th-this is for me? My own tent? Wow this is so cool!" The little blond was practically jumping up and down in his spot with pure joy and happiness radiating off of him. He was so happy to have his own tent finally.

"Yup, tonight Cas and I can teach you how to put it up and when we leave, take it down. Sound good?"

"Yes! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!" He suddenly slammed into Demi with a tight hug. Demi patted his head and pulled the excited child off of himself.

Alex went back to playing his game. Demi went back and sat on the ground to join Casper in the small clearing while he was redoing the zipper work on one of the sleeping bags. Casper nearly had this one finished up and planned on giving it to Alex since it had Kion and other lion guard characters on it. Casper concentrated as he worked on stitching the zipper to the sleeping bag.

"Soooo Alex loved his tent. Thank you for fixing it up for him."

"No problem. Seemed better than sitting in the car ya know? Oh hey look I finally got it stitched. You know these zippers are so hard to fix now a days." He said zipping up the bag and admiring his work.

He looked up and noticed the sun was starting to paint the sky in a beautiful array of oranges and pinks mixed with some purples and blues. The air felt slightly cooler than it did before.

Demi rolled his eyes and simply smiled.

He knew it was time to get going and head back to the campgrounds.

Casper followed right behind him and started up his car. They headed back to Cowan Lake campgrounds tenting area.

"Hey alex! Buckle up bud!" He yelled getting back up and getting into the car to leave.

The ride there was quite relaxing as the trio was simply jamming out to some music on their way to the campgrounds. They didn't have a care in the world it seemed.

They finally made it back to their spot. Alex quickly hopped out along with his tent and claimed a spot right next to where Demi and Casper's tent was. He started to pull everything out of the make shift bag that he had stuffed it in previously.

Demi quickly got out and ran to him. He didnt want Alex to lose anything.

"Hey bud slow down, We still got to help you put it up. Cas you want to get the fire going? We can roast some shmellows and some hot dogs. I'm starved!" Demi quickly started unraveling the tent and pulling out the poles, laying them nice and neat.

While they did that, Casper started up the fire. It roared to life after a few moments of poking and prodding it with fiery paper. He grabbed all the goodies, the roasting sticks and a mini table from his car.

The sun sunk down below the trees as the beauty of the moon rose to the sky. She bathed the area in a soft ghostly white glow.

Meanwhile Alex and Demi finally got his tent all nice and set up. It looked a little worn down but it was definitely still usuable.

"Hey who wants shmellows? We got some dogs that need roasting too!" Cas called out to Demi and Alex. He laid out the marshmallows and chocolate along side the hotdogs, gram crackers and bread. Alex and Demi joined him by the cozy fire grabbing a few bits of food and wolfing them down like ravenous animals.

Demi shushed him real quick. He didn't want to disturb others and cause any unnecessary commotion. The last time that happened didn't end well .... for the other person that is.

Around them other campfires crackled and popped while kids and couples alike told stories and roasted foods. Some saying goodnight while others stayed out.

"So when the fire goes out, do you two want to go on a run? I'm pretty sure that stupid Cullen family is out hunting and I do NOT want him near our area." Demi asked Casper and Alex.

Casper thought about it for a moment and mouthed I dont care while shoving a hotdog in his mouth. Alex simply shook his head yes as he ate a burnt gooey marshmallow.

"Yeah it's a full moon tonight! And I haven't ran with you guys in forever!" Alex shouted a tad bit to loud grabbing the attention of a few nearby campers.

"Let's wait till 10. Most of the other campers will be asleep and in their tents by then. It would be the perfect time to slip out." Demi said leaning into his mate's embrace.

No one screams at his little brother for being excited.

"Yeah, it has been awhile hasn't it? It's about time we run and get a good idea of how big our territory is too if this is our permanent home." Casper said.

Demi nodded in agreement as he got up. He went to his and Casper's tent and stripped down to just his incredibly warm out pants. He didn't care if these pants got destroyed while shifting. They've been through so much and it was time to finally to get rid of them.

Casper got up from his spot and joined Demi in the tent. He wrapped his arms around Demi's midsection, pulling him into a warm hug.

"So when you want to head out love?" He whispered.

They both sat down on their makeshift bed. Minutes passed as they simply stayed still together.

A sense of euphoria enveloped him. What a lovely feeling it was.

He got up quickly, peeking out of the tent entrance way.

Neither wanted this moment to end.

His little brother crossed his mind. He left him out there by the fire by himself!

Hide and seek

Thankfully the fire was dying since no one was paying it any attention.

His brother was lying down on the grass. His headphones over his head and his hand tracing the stars as he sang a familiar song quietly. His head bobbing in sync to the beat.

Reason and rhyme

Grand and glorious

Living the dream

yours and mine

~ Euphoria!

As he sand the last part, his arm fell to his side. A smile was spreading across his face as he lost himself in his own little world of euphoria.

Demi felt his body shift quickly. Thankfully his pants were worn enough to not make hardly any noise. Brown, orange and white fur littered from his skin quickly.

The feeling of happiness and joy could be felt radiating from him once again.

Demi sighed to himself, grateful his brother was ok.

"Everything alright love?"

"Yeah, just got worried about Alex but he's fine. He's in his own little world right now."

"I can tell. I can feel it from here."

Demi went back and sat down. He searched for his phone to check the time.

9:57 PM

All of the other campers were asleep by now. The only ones awake at this point was the trio.

Casper's body morphed as well. Silvery gray fur with white swirls that resembled a starry galaxy painted his skin. His body shifted and the shorts he had were ripped quickly.

And just like that, a coyote that could blend in with the autumn themed environment stood before Casper.

The air swirled around Demi. With it, The smell of wet leaves and smoke with sugary delights. Demi inhaled the savory scents before making his way to the child that was still relaxed on the grass.

And just like that, a wolf stood above Demi in the 10 person tent.

Giving his mate a quick nuzzle, Demi slowly crept outside the tent. He didn't want to wake anyone or draw attention to himself. He still had to get Alex into their tent.

Demi nudges Alex with his snoot, urging him to get up. Alex realised it was time and ran to his brother's tent as there would be no room to shift in his own.

Soon after a small blondish white coyote pup came out. His ears and tail were probably the most unique feature both the wolf and coyote have ever seen.

Casper ran out of tent to give Alex some privacy.

'So Cas, did you hear what they said about us on the news? They think we are trouble makers!

Just were the ears attach to the head, Alex's fur was a shiny metallic gold color. His tail was the same way.

He jumped up into the air and started to run a tad bit. The excitment seemed to rub off on Demi. He too started to jump around with his little brother. Together their energy seemed to wile them up even more.

With a burst of energy, the trio took off onto the road. Demi and Alex yipped along the way down the road. Casper's tongue lulled out of his mouth while he ran.

Alex on the other paw didn't want to go digging like his older brother. He was more interested in the playground that was close by and the toys that had been abandoned there as well.

Ha! Can you believe that? Let's give them real trouble!'

Cas nodded in response. He started to slow down as they approached the dumpsters. The overwhelming smell of garbage that has been marinating all day under a scorching hot sun wafted around the trio.

Demi charged ahead of them. He loved digging in the trash, all kinds of goodies people would throw out for no reason was calling his name!

He chased after his brother though.

[straynstay]

Hellooo~! I reaally love your hybrid AU! ❤❤❤ Would you write number 3 with Hybrid!Chan? Maybe with a slight of angst and fluff if its possible? Thank youuu ❤

thank yooooou! ☺️

soooo, I think I might have wrote a lot, but I hope it’s okay lol thanks for requesting ♥️

-

He was gone. You couldn't believe it, you thought your mind was playing a prank on you, or that maybe he was playing a prank on you, but he was actually gone. Chan was nowhere to be seen and his closest friends didn't know where he could be. You were in tears while printing posters of "have you seen my hybrid?" with the cutest picture you had of him, his information and your phone number as contact. Something must have happened because Chan would have never leave you like this, he has beeen your hybrid pet since you were eight years old, a gift from your parents on your birthday, and he has been with you through thick and thin. He wouldn't have vanished like that, but the police couldn't care less of missing pets, so you had to search for him yourself. Chan was not only your pet, he was your companion, your best friend, someone that had always supported you and stick to your side, he was your everything, and he was gone.

You were on the streets handing out the posters and asking people to help you out.

"Have you seen him? He's a koala hybrid, he's really clingy, he loves giving hugs..." you didn't remember or cared how many times you repeated this sentence and how many times you heard "no, I'm sorry". You were exhausted from walking around town, but your heart was shattered because you didn't receive any good news. But you couldn't give up, you'd find Chan no matter how many times you'd have to print posters or ask people. His friends were helping out the way they could, but being hybrids themselves, they didn't have much freedom to go out and about like you.

Your sadness only got worse as five days passed and there was no news on Chan's whereabouts. You were lying on your bed, tears wetting your pillow again, and there was no strength in you to get up and go on with life. Your parents came in to force you to eat, but you only took a few bites of whatever they were offering you and laid down again.

"You can't stay like this forever, you have to move on" your mom gave your leg a few strong taps.

"How can I move on when Chan could be starving, cold, sick?" you resumed crying.

"I'm seriously getting tired of this by now, he's just a pet, get over it" your father said, as nice as always.

"HE'S NOT JUST A PET!" you screamed feeling an irrational anger boiling inside you. You were fed up with their comments on your relationship with Chan, especially now that you were supposed to be moving to college and the dorms inside the campus wouldn't allow pets. Your parents made a fuss about how they didn't want to take care of Chan, how much a nuisance it would be, how you should just leave him on a pound because you couldn't take him with you either, and it just stressed you out so much you just wanted to scream at them to shut up. But Chan, being the angel he is, helped you out, comforting you with his miraculous hugs and precious words of wisdom, and you cooled down before snapping at your parents and making everything worse. You didn't know why they acted like that when the solution was quite simple, you just had to fill up a form and ask to be transferred to the dorms outside the campus that allowed pets. That was it! But no, they stressed you out, said hateful words about Chan to you, and all for nothing. Your college even sent you a confirmation email the day Chan got lost, but you were so worried about him that you didn't even remebered to update your parents on your situation. Not that you cared now.

"I swear to God, this is ridiculous. Get up and start packing, you're moving in less than a week!" you father demanded and you sat on your bed.

"Chan is lost! Don't you get it? I'll only pack when he comes back! I'm not leaving him behind!"

"He's never coming back!" your father retorded.

"Then I won't go to college!" you exclaimed throwing your hands up.

"Don't even joke about it" your mom warned you.

"If you give up college because of that mangy koala hybrid you're never stepping inside this house again!" your father threatened, pointing his index finger in your face.

"I'll join Chan on the streets, then! Might as well leave now" you got up angrily grabbing your phone, your backpack and stompping out of your bedroom. You quickly put on your shoes and took your car keys, leaving your house determined to not go back. You drove aimlessly, tears blurring your vision, and your heart aching. Chan would have never let this happen, he was always mediating your relationship with your parents, he was always calming you down and telling you the right things to say or do when it came to your parents, but Chan wasn't there to help you today and it hurts too much. It hurts because your parents should be more supportive of you and your decisions, and because the only one that actually cared about you would probably never come back. You parked near your old elementary school and your brain decided to be annoying and make you revive all your memories with Chan. You didn't think you had tears left to cry, but you were wrong. Your body convulsed with your hiccups while tears flooded your face, carrying your pain with them, as you tried to control your wailing, but to no avail.

Your phone interrupted your weeping, and you soon answered it when you saw it was Seungmin calling you. He went straight to the point, telling you to go to his house cause they had found Chan. And you did. You drove like a crazy person, but you weren't in your right state of mind, you only cared about seeing him again and never letting him go away ever again.

"Where's he? Where's he?" you said already pushing past Seungmin when he opened the door, and entering his house without invitation. Woojin and Jisung stepped back from the couch to let you get closer, but you cried even harder seeing Chan. He looked terrible.

"What happened?" you asked plopping down on your knees and caressing his face. Chan had lost too much weight, his cheekbones were more proeminent, his eyes deep with dark circles, several bruises and scars on his arms and probably on the rest of his body, his hair was a mess and he seemed really fragile. You've never seen him like this in your life and it terrified you, you were ten times more worried now.

"Life on the streets is not easy" Woojin replied because Chan was too weak to do so.

"Oh my God, Chan..." you petted his hair and bit your lower lip, trying to stop more tears to flow. He was having a hard time breathing too, and he was too sick to even keep his eyes open for a long period of time.

"We have to take him to a hospital, my car is outside, we can go now" you said looking at the boys, but Jisung shook his head.

"We tried, but they don't take in hybrids" he replied wrapping his tail around his body as if to comfort him.

"No, but I'm his owner, they'll listen to me, I'll be paying for everything, they have to take him in, he's sick!" the boys looked at you with pitiful eyes, and you rubbed your face.

"We're hybrids" Seungmin stated to make you understand that they would never be treated as human beings, although they were part human. "We'll give you some time alone while we prepare some soup for him and Jisung runs him a bath, okay?" Seungmin placed his hand on your shoulder and you squeezed it, mouthing a "thank you". You sat on the floor, resting your forehead on Chan's upper arm.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault" you said sighing.

"It's not your fault" Chan spoke for the first time. His voice was nearly above a whisper, but loud enough for you to hear and make your heart skip a beat. "I shouldn't have ran away"

"Why have you done it, then?" you asked raising your head to take in his changed features.

"Because I couldn't take it anymore, all those people talking about me being just your pet, telling you to put me on a pound, I was nearly losing my mind" Chan coughed. "But it got worst when your own parents told you to get rid of me because you're moving to college and your dorms won't accept pets. I knew I couldn't be there anymore meddling in your happiness, stoping you from living your life, I knew I had to go. Besides, it's what you all always choose to do anyways" Chan coughed more.

"Who?"

"Owners" Chan seemed really tired, he was blinking slower each time. "You always abandon us" his statement hit you like a bullet to your heart to finish shatter to smitherins your already broken pieces. He was so wrong, how could he not see how much you cared about him?

"I wouldn't have abandoned you" your voice was weak because of the tears you were fighting to hold back, but you grabbed Chan's hand tightly and stared straight into his eyes. "I would have never abandoned you, I love you" you confessed kissing with almost reverence the back of his cold hand. Chan let out his breath and smiled softly, closing his eyes.

"This is a dream coming true, you know? Hearing you say you love me"

"Should've said it earlier"

"Yeah, probably"

"I'm sorry"

"It's alright now, don't cry" Chan opened his arms and you promptly put yourself in his embrace, being careful not to hurt him in any way. "There you go, hugs make everything better" he ran his fingers through your hair.

"Please, don't ever leave again, I'd die without you" you mumbled with your lips pressed to the skin on his neck.

"I won't, I promise" he hugged you tighter, making it seem like he was never letting you go, and that's exactly what you wanted.

[11thstreetgirl]

The Gala night

Summary: Sami Yaffa x reader // In 2015 Sami Yaffa - Sound Tracker won the Kultainen Venla (the Finnish version of ) for the best music tv show. Sami is nervous and you try to calm him down. Wine happens.

Word count: 1285

AN: soooo this is a very old one that I just translated. Sami said somewhere that he was very nervous about having to talk in front of so many people and I just went from there ;) also from the fact that Sami in his 50s is imo the hottest thing ever... things get physical at the end so be warned. This is my first time publishing in years and the first time here (the text editor is a pain in the ass), so gimme feedback and I promise there will be more! ;)

I watched Sami, absolutely mesmerized, as he was tying his necktie in front of the mirror. His brow was furrowed as he tried to get it right, and failed. Groaning, he untied it for maybe the third time. Sami was looking ridiculously good in his dark suit, even though it didn’t fit him just right, having been worn just a few times over the years. He still was a bit more comfortable in suits and jackets that were a little too big, a remnant from the Hanoi years. Sami even had brushed his fluffy hair for tonight’s occasion, although most of it would stay hidden under his trademark hat. A small amount of kohl enhanced his light blue eyes, and he had carefully groomed the stubble on his face. Even after all these years, in my eyes Sami was still the most stunning, handsome, gorgeous man, ever. He never stopped to amaze me.

Another groan snapped me out of my daze. Once again Sami was untying his tie. A soft laugh escaped me at his pained expression. Moving his hands away, I stepped in front of him and swiftly tied the fabric around his neck. Sami snorted in defeat. He leaned down to kiss my forehead as a thank you. I grabbed the tie and pulled him closer just to give him a quick, passionate kiss, hinting him of my thoughts.

- Shall we?

He nodded and I couldn’t help myself giving his ass a playful slap. For a brief moment I adored us in the mirror. We were both unarguably beautiful. I wore a black velvet dress and I wore it beautifully. The long sleeves covered my arms but the short hem showed off my long legs. I had bright red lipstick on and was feeling good about myself for once. Sami, tall in his black suit, the pants slightly tight over his thighs, thanks to the long bike rides up the mountains of Banyalbufar. His ever-present hat tipped to one side on his dark curls and his skin sun-kissed, eyes a little faded from the Spanish sun. Sami’s large hand grabbed mine, rough from playing his bass for years, and he pulled me outside.

Everyone clearly had their eyes on the price. The Kultainen Venla was no joke for these people; you could see the hunger for glory in their gaze. Still, the atmosphere managed to be somewhat light. Almost everyone knew everyone, the circles were small here. Glasses clinked all around and laughter rang through the air. Even Sami couldn’t deny it: he wanted to win one of the golden statues. Although it was probably me who wanted it more. Sami was petrified by the thought of having to give a speech in front of so many people, and I wanted him to win just so I could see him stumbling on his words and blushing up on the stage, and afterwards hug him tight and tell him how well it went. We zigzagged our way to the tables behind the rest of the Sound Tracker crew, exchanging meaningless phrases and congratulations with other guests. As we finally sat down, we sighed almost simultaneously. Both of us still disliked huge events like this. Quickly Sami dropped out of the conversation his coworkers were having. He dragged his chair a bit closer to mine and took my hand in his absentmindedly. He stroked my fingers and stared off into the distance. The lack of words this evening gave away his nervousness, and I knew this was his way of calming down. My poor shy baby. Luckily there was also another thing to help with the nerves: wine. Good wine, and our glasses were filled as fast as we could drink them. Sami’s eyes lighted up as he got the drink down his throat. I sure as hell didn’t mind either.

The festivities seemed to go on forever. Neither of us had been able to concentrate to whatever was happening on the stage for a while. Sami knew it was still a long way to go before the categories he was nominated in, and it eased his nerves a little. That, and we both had had quite a generous amount of wine. Not enough to get drunk but definitely enough for a light buzz. Sami was happily chatting with the crew again, his warm laugh honey for my ears. It was all I could hear. I watched him carefully, his grin and his hands that were waving in the air as he explained enthusiastically. I could smell his familiar scent, mixed together with my own perfume. All I could think about was how handsome he looked. I made a mental note to lay off the wine for the night, it was getting the best of me. Just this one glass…

Sami startled when I laid my hand on his thigh. He gave me a quick look, then went back into the conversation. I grinned to myself. Slowly I moved my hand, feeling the fabric under my fingers and the muscles under the fabric. I could see Sami’s concentration start to waver. He tried to move his leg further away from me, but didn’t get far. His little maneuver only exited my wine-fuzzy brain more. I slithered my hand upward, quite dangerously high, and back down just above his knee. Up and down. His muscles flexed under my palm with every movement. He shot me a frowned look but quickly had to look away from my undoubtedly mischievous face. I felt his breath hitch and there was no way I would just let him be now.

Luckily for us, something was happening on the stage again and it caught everyone’s attention. When the rest of the crew were facing the stage and definitely not us, I laid my hand firmly on his crotch. Sami visibly shuddered. He parted his lips for a moan but caught himself just in time. Oh I loved this effect the wine was having on him tonight. He bit his lip and tried to hide more under his hat, but I could still see the redness rising to his cheeks. He was usually the one teasing me so this was a welcomed change for once. I was not about to let him go easy. Lightly I outlined his shaft growing hard under my palm, visibly tenting his pants. Sami tried to control his ragged breath, to no avail.

- This was not a good time for this! he sighed.

-  This was the perfect time for this!

- What if I have to go up there with ...this?! Sami drew in another sharp breath and grabbed the tablecloth. I gave him a wicked smile that I knew sure as hell didn’t make his situation better. His eyes sparkled with despair and lust. I knew mine matched his. 

- Then we have to get rid of it before that.

Sami couldn’t get another word out, instead he just yanked me in front of himself when he was sure no-one was looking. He pushed me out of the hall as fast as he could without raising suspicion. The closest room with a lock was large cleaning cabinet at the end of the hallway. He ripped the door open, pushed me inside and locked the door behind us. With a fiery look on his face he shoved my back against the door. He pressed his body flush against mine, making sure I felt what I had caused. He barely gave me room to breathe. I could sense the heat radiating from his skin before he kissed me fiercely, almost aggressive.

- This is what you get for teasing me. Get down on your knees. 

[streatfeild]

I just remembered that @skiesfallithurts tagged me to do this thing like, 10 years ago, soooo I’ll finally tackle it! Thanks bruh! <3 

1. Imagine you casually doing your thing and suddenly a portal (a door, let’s say) appears in your room. Would you turn the handle our of curiosity? And if you do, what would you see?

I’d probably do it? Like, after staring at it for a solid hour. And writing all my friends (none of them are here atm so who’s gonna stop me?). It’s probably not a good idea but I don’t think I’ll be able to just... chill and go to sleep with a strange door in my room, you know. There’s some Narnia-shit behind it and honestly, I’m too lazy for that kinda adventure

2. One fine morning you wake up and realize you’ve changed into an animal/an insect/a thing you fear the most. What’s your reaction?

suicide man

3. If someone offers you to live forever but says that in order to do so, you need to choose one particular person you hate to die. What do you choose?

I don’t want to live forever so, easy one. If I HAD to however, why not get rid of Trump?

4. Imagine people having the ability to read minds. If a random stranger bumps into you, what thoughts he can read?

Probably gross Resslington porn. Or “oh God what an asshole WATCH YOUR FUCKING STEP”. Or, “oh shit he could do more than just bump into me lol”.

5. You and your fav celebrity/fictional chara have switched bodies. Who is the most (un)lucky?

I’m going with Seamus Dever here for the celeb, and booooy he’s fucked. I, on the other hand, in his body... imma be living the life! Lots of dogs, the Best Wife Ever, down in California? HELL yeah. 

6. If someone offered you to make your one the most cherished dream come true, what it would be? 

oh boy do i have naive dreams... but THE biggest one of ‘em is probably... to be playing some nice shit in the future. With Jens Harzer. At the Thalia Theater. Yes. Or the Burgtheater. Just, let me become a badass n talented actress, that would be nice.

7. You’re trapped in one of your favorite fictional worlds. It’s a matter of life and death. Whom do you call to save you?

It’s the Star Trek universe and gosh idek where to start. Probably Daniels ‘cause it doesn’t matter when  I am, also he’s cute aND badass. Otherwise... Sisko. Always Sisko.

8. You can time travel and change only one historical event. What is it?

You don’t fuck with time travel, man. I know that and wouldn’t change a thing (apart from probably fucking Napoleon or some shit... or Bruce Ismay). BUT I’d like to either visit Jean de Dunois (for research), or Ismay during the sinking of the Titanic (again, for research) or after the trials (to hug him).

9. You’re suddenly in danger and the only thing which could save you is the random object next to your right. What is it and how it can save you?

My headphones. I’m walking down the street, being cat-called. I don’t hear it, the music is too loud. If it wasn’t for that fact, I would have turned around to give them guys shit, not knowing they’re carrying weapons and are ready to fight. Sometimes, you gotta ignore some people.

10. You’re a composer but instead of the computer made or musical instruments sounds you create melodies using nature sounds. Which sounds would you use and which song would you write?

Storm, waves and rain to create something like “Fire on Fire” (just bc I’m obsessed with this song atm, i don’t even like sam smith wtf).

______________________________

Well that was fun!! <3 

[auroraphilealis]

just a small list of fic recs

Earlier this morning my friends asked for some fake dating phan AU fics and I realized that making a fic rec list might be a good way to show some appreciation for fanfic author appreciation day!

I don’t have all day free like I wish, so I asked my friends for a few smaller catagories that I could shift through and find a few fics to rec from, that way I can get a good mix of fics for people to enjoy, and find as many authors as possible to thank! 

Of course, I can’t possibly have read every fic out there ever, so if you aren’t on here that’s no like, disrespect to you or anything. Every single person whose ever written and posted a fanfic deserves to be recognized and loved for what they’ve produce for us, so just know that I appreciate every single one of you, on or off this list!

To add to this, I tired to pick some older, or smaller works that people may have not seen before to give the authors a little lift if possible :)

Without further ado, below you’ll find some fic recs and author appreciation below !

Fake Relationship:

Our Threadbare Lies - @ramonaspeaks -  Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He's ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

This is like one of my all time favorite fake relationship fics of all time. Honestly it was so well done and really realistic and the writing is just superb. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve re-read this fic, (as well as most of the authors other works) because it was just so well done, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the author for all the hard work they put into it! On top of that, it holds really, really close to 2009 timeline (as we know it) and manages to make things work that might not have worked in their AU if they weren’t so smart about it

Maybe, Possibly - @cafephan -  Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

aldjflkas I fucking love this fic so freaking much. I’ve read it like ten million times. Everytime it shows up on my dash I open it to read it again. It’s just really funny and sweet in a strange way, and captures an essence of dnp that I really enjoy. I like how easy it is for dnp to pretend to be together in this fic, and how easy it is for them to then transition to ACTUALLY being together. It’s the perfect kind of non-dramatic get together fake relationship AU ever and I really, really do love it. Again, massive thank you to the author!

friends dont treat me like you do - @internetakeover (i think i got your @ right) -  Why had Dan agreed to this? Pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend at his ex’s wedding had seemed like a nice idea at first, a way to meet some of Phil’s old university friends while helping him avoid humiliation, but already Dan’s on edge. If Dan allows himself to relax for a day, lets himself watch Phil as much as he wants, touch Phil as much as he wants, carry on their flirtatious banter when normally he’d laugh it off... he’s worried about what Phil might see.

I ended up re-reading this after I stumbled across it again just now hahaha I really love this fic. It’s super cute and a little sappy cause WEDDING FIC but that’s what makes it so worth the read. I love that both Dan and Phil realize how easy their relationship is, and the fact that they’ve technically been dating for a long time and that they love each other. I love that they realize this the way that they do, and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so thank you so much to the author <3

Asexuality

Between Us - @winteredspark who doesnt appear to have a tumblr :( - "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.There's a pause, then -"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

This is the asexual fic that helped me to realize that I’m asexual and that asexuality is a spectrum that isn’t limited to one version or another. I remember leaving a really long thoughtout comment to the author but I can’t not rec it here as well. It’s just such an amazing asexuality fic and it’s a little bit of a different take not it considering the character exists on a different part of the spectrum than most ace fics portray. I will always be grateful to this author for this fic!

let’s save up for something new - @deletablebird -  Phil wakes up shivering the morning of October 19th, 2009. Today is the day he meets Dan. Fluff, 3.5k

I love this author with my whole heart and I’ve read everything they’ve written lol. This is just a really, really cute and lovely take on 2009 with the asexual aspect included and it really made my heart happy, so thank you so so much for this fic!

Theater

Disguises - @ramonaspeaks -  Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.

Again, another fic from one of my favorite authors of all time. This is like my actual favorite theater au of all time. I am completely in love with the whole thing. It feels so real, and their characters are so well fleshed out, and each scene is just actually fantastic. I solidly recommend this one and I am soooo thankful to the author for bringing it into existence!

just touched down in london town - @phanetixs - "Hamilton is actually really nice and the plot is very interesting and okay, well, there’s this guy."In which, London is not as bad in the summer, a cute guy dies considerably in Act III and Phil has actually lucked out for once.

Look not only do I stalk all of this authors fics, but this is one of my all time favorites of theirs. They managed to take an idea that almost seems ludicrous and make it into something not only super hot, but super realistic and really, really, really fun. I absolutely adore this fic and I give you all the kudos my wonderful author. Thank you for writing such a wonderful au!

Which as they kiss, consume - @irrevocablys which for some reason it wont tag you :( -  Dan’s an aspiring actor, and Phil’s so over studying Romeo and Juliet.

This was one of my first theater au’s and I truly adore it. its just like got this super cute undertone to it thats incredibly wonderful? I just love the way the characters interact and the ease and flow of the writing <3 thank you for giving us something so beautful

Supernatural Elements

Ride with the moon in the dead of night - @mooksie01 -Phil seriously needs to buy some allergy medicine or something. Or at least open a window next time he performs a demonic ritual. He wouldn't have thought that one little sneeze could've messed up a spell so bad, but now he has a demon on his hands and only six days to get rid of it before he's stuck with it forever....And maybe the demon is acting like a total cinnamon roll, but Phil is positive that it's all just an elaborate ruse.

ajdlsfkjasdlkjfls omfg I love this fic so much. I actually adore fics with supernatural elements in them and this is one of those fics that always stands out to me. It’s just really hilarious and well written and is just overall a fun take on witch phil. I just, i really love it, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thank you wonderful author <3

Reflections of the Heart - @butterflyphil - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

UHM, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS? Lol. I just really freaking love body swap fic and you did such a good job with this fic. it’s honestly just super fun and a little hot and really cute and beautiful overall. I really just, really cant thank you enough for this fic and rec it really really highly!

Vampires & Werewolfs

High - @icandigelvis -  Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

ajdslfkjasl listen I love vampire fic and this one is just so good. it’s so true to dnp’s personalities and just like, accurate to who they’d be tbh. And like, the fact that it sticks so close to reality aside from the vampire difference is what makes it even better so thank you so much to the lovely author for writing it. It’s everything I ever needed and more from a vampire fic

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got All - @nagirci - Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

This is like a really older fic that’s from one of the first phandom big bangs but it’s one of my first favorite vampire fics of all time as well and it’s just. really good and really well thought and the collaboration work on it is incredibly flawless. I honeslty would tell anyone to read it at any time because it comes together so well

Sharp Teeth - @theshyauthor -  AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Again this is just such a good take on 2009 and the reality of dnp with added vampirism tossed in. Plus the author is a beautiful wonderful person and I really enjoy their writing so its a total please go read this kind of fic x3 Thank you darling for writing something so wonderful <3

be sure to ring the doorbell - @frostbittencheeks -  Dan’s a tired sports reporter, Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries and a propensity for bad Dracula jokes as well as leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

Can you tell I love vampire fics? This one is so well done, I literally re-read it constantly. I love the whole idea behind it, specifically the fact that Phil’s version of courtship is literally ridiculous and he doesn’t even think that they need to talk about it hahahaha I just love how funny and adorable it is and it’s just totally worth a few minutes of your time

a puppy sort of love - @symmetricdnp -  Dan's supposedly a werewolf. Phil has doubts.

I honestly want to beg this person to write me more of this fic cause the permise is just that good. There are so few werewolf fics in the phandom, and especially ones that are this cute, thoughout , and well written. I absolutely adore this fic and I totally rec it to all of you. The author is wonderful, thank you so much for writing this fic <3

Blind

It’s the blue of your eyes, and the way you’re scared, love - @glitteraccent Soulmate (Color)! & Blind!Phil  au 

Okay but like this story always sticks out in my memory and I think on it often. It’s one of my all time favorite soulmate au’s and blind au’s, because it was just structured so well and the characters make your heart fall for them really, really fast. I love this author and tumblr wont tag them, but reblog their fic and give them all the love in the world!

[jaremish]

I Want Him Gone - Part 1

Pairing: Sam x teen!reader, Dean x teen!Reader (both plantonic)

Warnings: Blood, panic & needles

Word Count: 1650

Summary: You were kidnapped at the age of 14, having your parents killed right in front of you by a demon. Tortured almost daily for two years, you luckily escape only to run into the Winchesters. They quickly help you, not only physically but also mentally, taking you in almost as a little sister. Though there’s something crawling under your skin… revenge.

A/N: Soooo, I’m rewriting “I don’t think I deserve it”. The plot was just a mess and *sigh* I didn’t want to give it up. Happy Reading y’all!

Series Masterlist | Taglist (or sen an ask)

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N…” The demon said with a sigh as he walked around your sitting form in circles.

Blood have been dripping from somewhere in your head down you face for quite some time now. Your legs and arms were bound awkwardly around the uncomfortable chair and your head hung low. You had lost your sense of feeling in your right arm where a pretty nasty gash had stopped bleeding.

“You know, I always enjoy our time together, you and I,” He said, running a finger down your left arm as he walked around you. “It’s so easy getting rid of all the stress with your help.”

He stopped walking and squatted down, leaning his face towards you, and whispered in your ear. “Too bad I don’t hear one of your precious screams, now isn’t it?”

Sharp pain shot up your left leg and you opened your eyes to see a knife buried in your leg. A sharp scream left your lips as you tried to breathe out the pain, trying to focus on anything just to distract yourself. With a quick punch to your face you blacked out, though it wasn’t for long.

You woke up just a few minutes after, being dragged down the hall and thrown into your dark and small cage. A moan came across your lips as you landed on the hard concrete floor. The door slammed and you released a deep breath.

The cage that you had been spending most of your time in was really small. You could barely sit up straight without hitting your head on the ceiling. You couldn't even stretch your arms out to the sides. It was also dark, no windows or lights could be seen.

You pressed yourself up in a sitting position and used the door for help, only the door opened slightly as you pressed your weight at it. The door wasn’t locked. Adrenaline shot though your body. Without a second thought you bolted through the door as quietly as you could.

The bulting pain from your leg was long forgotten as you made your way down the halls, remembering how you mesmerized the way towards the exit just in case you’d actually have a chance one day at getting out of here. As you ran towards the exit you started to hear voices. With all the adrenaline and panic going through your body you managed to open the door and run for your life.

You just ran. It felt as if your heart was going to pump out of your chest and your lungs hurt from all the running. You had a hard time breathing as you rounded corner after corner, trying to confuse them if they were chasing after you.

Just as you were turning your head to see if they were actually following you, you ran into something and fell down on your butt. The hard impact with the ground made you whimper in pain. With panicked eyes you looked up as hazel ones staring down at you.

“Hey, shit, you okay kiddo?” The tall man said with a frown.

You didn’t have time to study him as you made up your mind on trying to get up again only to be meet with even more pain. The adrenaline was wearing out and the major injuries on your body did not help to soothe the pain.

You didn’t notice that the man had squatted down next to you until he placed his hand on your shoulder. Immediately you flinched away, trying to get out of his grip. Worry glazed over his face, though you did not notice this in your attempts to get away from him.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down. I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice was calm and collected as he tried to speak with you.

His eyes ran over your body scanning for injuries and he sure as hell found them. It wasn’t had though seeing as you only wore a larger sized t-shirt that had ripped in many places. Mumbling a “shit” under his breath he quickly picked you up from the cold ground.

A scream was heard from you when he lifted you up in his arms. Panic was still running through you and your heart beat way too fast.

“Shh, calm down. I’m getting you some help. I’m not here to hurt you kid.” The man said as the looked down at you.

He began walking, walking away from where you’d come from. He looked down at you quickly trying to read something from your face without luck. You began to relax a tiny bit in his warm arms and your heartbeat begun to slow.

“Dean! I need some help here!” The man suddenly called out.

You tensed in his arms, but your eyes started to drop a little. The amount of blood that you’d lost were probably not that good. A few moments went by where you went in and out of the radar, having trouble focusing on what was going on around you.

You opened your eyes slightly when another pair of hands were on you. You didn’t have the strength to pull away. The other man, Dean, pressed around the areas of your injuries but you didn’t make a sound until he pressed at your leg leg. A whimper was all you could master up to do.

“Take her to the bunker. Make sure she doesn’t fall asleep, those wounds does not look good Sam.” Dean said.

Your eyes closed again, completely giving up on trying to stay awake. You felt yourself being moved, though you were unsure what was really going on. When you opened your eyes next you were sitting in a car, next to the man who picked you up, Sam. His eyes landed on you when he felt your gaze upon him.

“Try to stay awake, I’m going to help you I promise, but you gotta stay awake.”

You managed to stay awake for the rest of the car ride to wherever he was going. It felt like hours but it’d only been about 15 minutes. Sam parked the car in front of a big iron door and got out. He walked over to your side and opened the door.

“I’m sorry if this hurt, just hang in there will you?” He said as he reached for you.

He picked you out of the car as gently as he could but that didn’t help as you blacked out again. With you limp in his arms he made his way down the stairs and into the closest room with a bed to put you on.

He heard the door behind him close and he looked up to find Dean. You were awake again, but it was all just a mess in your head. You were laying in a bed, an actual bed. Sam picked up a box and opened it where he sat, next to you on your left side.

The men were mumbling to each other and you could just pick up small things from what they said but none of it made sense to you. Sam started to wipe a cloth across your wound on your leg and it hurt as hell. Tears were spilling down your cheeks as you tried to get away from Sam.

Dean however saw this and held you in place, placing one arm across your hips and the other holding down your shoulder. Your vision was blurry due to the tears, but when you saw the needle you freaked out. Screams opon screams left your lips as you trashed in Deans hold.

“Dean!”

“On it.” He answered to Sam’s shout.

Dean lifted you up, climbing into the bed with his back pressed against the headboard. You were lifted up in a sitting position, leaded back against Dean who held you in place. You shook your head repeatedly as you feared what Sam was going to do.

“Shh, calm down. Don’t look at what Sam’s doing, just calm down.” Dean said to you.

As Sam fixed up your wounds you had your jaw clenched the whole time, tears still falling down from your eyes. Dean tried to make you relax by mumbling encouraging words to you.

You had lost yourself to your own thoughts halfway through. You couldn’t help but be scared of how things would turn up now that you were somewhere else. You didn’t dare to break anymore rules, that you were sure of.

Sam snapped you out of your thoughts when he called your name. You faced him, though your gaze were not meeting his, afraid he’d be mad. Dean was standing beside him, having noticed how calm you were and left you be long ago.

“Y/N?” Sam called your name again.

He had noticed how your eyes continued to drop, seeing how tired you were. Sam stood up, walking over to you. Exhausted, but still afraid you made an attempt of scooting away from him, still not trusting any of them.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? You don’t have to force yourself to be awake.” Sam started as he knelt down next you you, trying to make himself small. “You’re safe here.”

You shook your head lightly at this, not wanting to sleep somewhere you were not aware of the things happening around you.

“Me and Dean will be outside of this room, making sure you’re okay.”

Stubborn, but losing to yourself, your eyes started to get heavy. You tried to blink a couple of times, desperately trying to stay awake. Sam saw this and draped the blanket over you. It was warm. It had been so long since you’d been warm. You stayed perfectly still, savouring this moment for as long as possible. A yawn escaped your lips and you finally gave in. You were out cold after a few minutes, in for a long sleep.

Masterlist | Part 2

Tagging

@chennyetomlinson @sammywiththegoodhair @im-forever-a-fangirl @whocares006 @sushisecor @spectaculicious

[a-jynx]

Smooches

Summary: Being stuck at home while Jensen is away at Cons, your soon-to-be daughter decides that she wants her daddy so sing to her and mommy instead. 

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Warnings: Literal tooth rotting, cotton candy on a stick fluff (LISTEN TO THE SONG ITS HONESTLY KINDA CUTE??) 

Notes: I used the song “American Heart” by Shawn James & The Shapeshifters, it’s not a romantic song but it literally sounds like a song that would be really sweet and I liked how his voice sounded soooo - fight me xD <3 

Forever In Tags: @waywardnewcomer  @natashacamillaus  @mogaruke @iliketowrite02 @casiskween @laceyn-1201 @supernatural-teamfreewillpage

Enjoy! Feedback is the glue to my writings!

I hummed softly to myself while using my thumb to stroke the pumpkin sized stomach I had – soft kicking making me chuckle as I sighed.

“I know baby, it’s not like daddy’s singing but he’s away right now taking care of his other family.” I whispered as if he/she could hear me. I began to hum ‘Simple Man’ gently once again, only to be thrown off beat by three sudden kicks.

               “Alright, alright.. I’ll face time daddy and you can listen to him.” I couldn’t hold back the giggle as I stretched out to grab my phone, while clearing my throat as I entered my lock and went to contacts, giggling at the new name that Jensen had stashed away in my phone as I clicked the small camera to Facetime him.

Calling ‘Big Soon-To-Be Papa’

               “Freakin’ dork..” I shook my head as I turned on my side, sighing contently as my large belly rested against the soft cushion of the couch while the phone continued to ring. Suddenly the screen went from a standing still photo of Jensen making a face to him grinning down at the screen with a microphone in hand.

“Hi momma, you feelin’ okay? Not in a hospital bringing our little one into the world yet?” Jensen grinned as he popped off questions, causing me to grin as I shook my head while sighing, just happy to hear his voice.

               “Hi daddy, and I’m alright but our little kicker here wants to here their daddy sing ‘cause apparently mommy doesn’t have a good as one as daddy.” I chuckled softly as he nodded, a large toothy grin on his lips as he licked them as Jared appeared in the screen.

“Hey, Y/N! Hope the kids’ not giving you too much trouble.” Jared laughed as Jensen shot him a unamused look before grinning as Jared moved to stand behind the short man that is my husband.

               “Hi, Jared. And as I told Jay, our little kicker doesn’t like my singing voice,” I scoffed slightly thus causing Jensen to stick his tongue out. “Well, by the looks of it, mommy wanted to hear my voice too.” Jensen all but smirked as I rolled my eyes, only to break it with a smile.

“Maaaybe, where are you guys anyway?” I hummed feeling the roll of Jay and I’s child in my stomach as I moved to get comfortable again. That’s when Jensen turned the phone around, showing the hundreds of fans, who all began to wave.

               “Oh my god! Jay! Hi, guys! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was down there!” I gasped as I sat up, moving the phone with me as Jensen turned it back towards him and Jared as he shook his head.

“Hey, hey! It’s okay, I was about to sing anyway – wasn’t I, guys?!” Jensen called out into the mic as the crowd erupted into a wave of shouts and screams, causing me to smile lightly.

               “Oh, baby – what’s the song gonna be?” I grinned as I placed the phone to where Jensen could still me, and I him as he looked out towards the audience.

“What should I sing you guys?!”

               Millions of voices began to shout out different songs that he’s already sang – but honestly any of them would’ve done as I sighed happily listening to the crowd and the hearty laugh of my husband, along with our best friend, I couldn’t be happier.

“Hey, baby, what are you and kicker in the mood for?” He questioned taking away the microphone as he grinned at me, while I thought.

               “You remember that one song? American Heart? The one by Shawn James? ” I asked in a small whisper as Jensen smiled softly, nodding as he cleared his throat while bringing the microphone back up to his lips.

“So, mommy has a request and I’m going to ask you guys to keep the clapping down, please? Cause trust me, with our little one, she’ll need the sleep.” He laughed as the crowd murmured in small agreements as I closed my eyes, getting comfortable as I sighed easily.

               “Just relax baby..” Jensen whispered as I nodded slowly awaiting the cool sounds of the song to begin to play softly.

We were raised by wolves

 And we are still wild 

And we howl when the troubled winds blow  

The steady singing of Jensen’s voice, hitting each deep note easily while getting the higher one as easy as well. I swallowed thickly as I sighed gently, grinning in my tired state as I covered my stomach as I sighed gently, inhaling the smell of Jensen’s cologne that still stuck to his flannel.

               I smiled as I felt tears pricking the edges of my eyes as I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat as I opened my watering e/c eyes to meet Jared’s as I furrowed my brows as he turned the phone towards Jensen who was singing his heart out, the fans holding softly flickering lights from their phones as I smiled softly feeling the tears slowly glide down my cheeks.

“Thank you guys!” Jensen called out as he finished the song with a strong end, making me smile softly as I laughed, trying to push away the lump in my throat that tightened. Jensen turned back towards me as I locked eyes with him; and it felt like the first time all over again.

               “Hi, baby – I thought you were tired? Hey, why are you crying?” Jensen asked as he handed off his mic to Jared, who smiled and waved off towards me as I grabbed the phone and brought it to my chest for a second this causing Jensen to freak.

“Y/N? Baby, hey, hey are you alright? Do I need to have Gen come get you? Is it kicker? Are you going into labor? Y/N!?” Jensen shouted as he rushed off the stage as I brought the phone back, more tears sliding down my cheeks as he stopped and sat down, his face distraught.

               “Jay, honey, I’m fine.. I’m okay. Kicker is okay. We’re.. We’re okay.” I huffed as I wiped away a tear.

“Then why are you crying sweetheart?” Jensen questioned as I smiled and pressed the phone to my lips, sending a kiss, as he did the same – his lips already growing into a small smile.

               “I’m crying because I’m so lucky to have you, you dork.. Also, I figured what a good girl name would be..” I whispered the last part as he grinned more, nodding for me to continue as I rested back the couch, tangling my free in his flannel as I rubbed my thumb over my stomach once again.

“Meria..”

               “Meria..?” Jensen laughed gently as I nodded, a smile on my lips as I rolled onto my side and smiled.

“Meria Jay Ackles..” I whispered as I watched Jensen smile so large that I swear his mouth broke as a few tears rippled down his cheeks as I smiled, giggling softly as I pressed my lips against the screen again.

               “Meria Jay Ackles.. I like it – hell, I love it..” Jensen smiled as he wiped away the tears while shaking his head, groaning as I arched a brow.

“Dammit, you made me soft – I’m supposed to be a man.”

               “Trust me, as soon as Meria gets here, you’ll be a dead man.” I giggled as he groaned before smiling more.

“I’m already a dead man with her gorgeous mother, you adorable dork. Alright, baby, I gotta go – I’ll call you or Facetime again, promise. Let me give Meria smooches.” He grinned like a child as I lowered the phone to my stomach, him making “mwah” noises as I giggle before pulling it back.

               “Hey, mommy better get smooches too!” I scoffed lightly as he chuckled, standing before pressing the phone to his lips and making more “mwah” sounds as I giggled, doing the same.

“I love you, you fluffy dork man.” I smiled as I pulled it back and stared at the man I was lucky enough to marry, and now soon to start a family with.

               “I love you, too, you gorgeous fluffy dork woman.”

[liarbabe]

“Weird.”

What is weird? What does weird mean?

Is it something we don’t understand? Something that makes us uncomfortable? Something that makes no sense?

For my classmates, weird meant... me.

It started out pretty early on, in 4th grade, I think.

I was an extremely loud and dramatic kid with an overworked imagination and I got bored easily. I wasn’t easy to deal with.

I used to build these worlds and characters and magical beings all around me, and then I’d bring them to the real world and play with them. In front of the other kids.

At some point, they started to realize something was wrong with me.

What is she talking to? And why is she always playing alone?

They started being careful around me. Suspicious.

But I didn’t give a shit. I mean, I had my best friend, my worlds, my brothers, i was living my best life, man. Why was I supposed to care about those stupid boring kids?

After the end of 5th grade, my best friend moved to a different school. It wasn’t far away, we’d still see each other on weekends, but he wasn’t around as often anymore.

He’d left me. I was alone. An over-imaginative little kid, alone in a world full of children who were growing up too fast. 

That’s when the word weird started sticking to me like glue.

There was this one kid, Simon, who liked me a lot apparently, because everytime he’d see me (and we were in the same class, so it happened frequently) he’d start spurting out those lovely insults and sad jokes all his friends adored. His favourite one was “decerebrata”, which in English can translate as brainless. He was an insecure rude kid with an inferiority complex, obviously he didn’t know the meaning of the word. He liked the sound of it. And the way it made me feel. Because I was the one who read books, I knew what that word meant. And I didn’t exactly like it.

And I have to thank him for helping me realize something so vital, something that influenced me so much I still haven’t gotten rid of it completely.

What I realized, was that the more insecure you make people, the meaner they will get.

And I suspected that my being weird (word I was starting to get used to) was the thing that made them insecure, even though I didn’t exactly know how.

So my twelve-year-old, tired brain concluded that the solution was... to stop being weird.

“That’s it” i thought. “I cracked the code! I become a normal kid, they don’t get insecure, and maybe stop being mean to me!”

And that’s what i did.

I started cutting off pieces of my personality, my way of talking, of reacting. Only years later I’d realize in the process, I had cut off many of the things that made me... me.

I tried to restrict the weirdness to reading books, but that was viewed as weird as well, so I stopped doing that too.

By the end of eighth grade, I had become an introvert.

I, the loud kid that would go on monologuing about what they’d invented that afternoon to anyone who’d even just pretend to listen, had become a quiet, shy kid.

Middle school was kinda hell.

Then we got to high school. Which was better, on many levels.

Since my extra ass couldn’t bear to keep the extra-ness in the closet anymore, on day two of hs I’d already gone back to full weirdo. But I was different. Partly I had grown, so many of the things that I used to do back in middle school had lost their appeal, but partly I was just... scarred. All that cutting off without distinctions, and I ended up losing a few things forever. Plus, I was scared, now. Hiding it was just too tiring, so I just got weird whenever I felt like it, but there was this voice in my head that kept saying “oh my god, look at how they’re staring at you, look at how that one is trying not to laugh at you, look at them, normal kids, thinking how fucking weird you are”.

Simon and I had gone to different schools, and the few friends of his that had gone to my school just didn’t care enough, I guess. I actually became friends wih some of them, later on.

So that was out of the way. The direct confrontation had stopped, because kids get more subtle as they grow up.

The laughing stopped and the whispering started.

I didn’t realize at first. I was just too happy to be back to my usual self.

But around half of 9th grade, it was January, i think, I was sitting in maths class, trying to pay attention to whatever the teacher was saying, and I overheard a conversation.

Sitting behind me was Lewis, one of the popular kids, decently pretty but as smart as a peanut, because he “whispered” (and I say “whispered” because not only I, sitting in front of him, but the whole class heard him) to his deskmate:

“Man, *my name* is so fucking weird”.

I got war flashbacks.

I didn’t give a shit about Lewis. I’d talked to him maybe once. I didn’t know him, and he didn’t know me.

So fucking weird.

So fucking weird.

Weird.

The only thing I could think of was “please, not again.”

And that’s how “weird” makes people feel.

I’m white, cis and able-bodied, so I know nothing about oppression.

But neither do you, other white, cis and able-bodied people. Do you know how being called “weird” feels like?

Weird implicating different, uncomfortable. Wrong.

I’ve never heard the black kids in my grade, or that Middle Eastern blind guy in my English class, or that trans girl who took the same bus as me for three years, call me weird. Not even once.

Is it okay to hate on people for something they can’t control?

For something that doesn’t affect you in the slightest?

Just because you don’t know how to deal with them?

Trust me, there are soooo many words better than weird.

One of them is interesting.

Instead of blindly hating, can we try understanding first? People are being scarred, mentally and physically, because we, as a society, are used to judging before we know anything.

And I don’t think that’s okay.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Unexpected”

The two main departments in the Shadow World are always competing: “Villains That Hate Each Other” division wants villains to detest their peers, while “Match Made In Hell” agency wants villains to fall in love. Very competitive departments, always fighting to steal the glory from one another. And the rivalry is about to escalate since the infamous Joker and notorious Y/N don’t even know they are about to change the balance in the Underworld. If it only was that easy…

“Hello, Mister Joker,” you greet as you enter the room set up for the meeting at his hideout near Gotham’s Art Museum. As soon as your eyes meet his, your heart is beating faster:

Ughh, you can’t stand him.

“Hm, if it’s not my favorite person on the planet,” J growls, irritated Dixon is sending his daughter to negotiate… again. As soon as he sees that smug expression on your face, his heart is beating faster:

Ughh, he totally detests you.

In the Shadow World, the alarm starts blaring almost instantly: “Villains That Hate Each Other” department is in absolute chaos !

“Are you kidding me?!” the oldest entity screams with frustration. “ What the hell is going on?!”

The Dark Shadow is in charge of this esteemed division and not happy for the moment: he is watching the “Hate Statistics” concerning the infamous Joker and notorious Y/N going down with alarming velocity.

The other subordinates gathered around, astound at the emergency: two villains that are supposed to despise one another forever are beginning to gravitate towards the opposite.

“Ummm, I don’t think it’s looking good sir,” one of the Shadows points out the obvious and the boss retaliates.

“I can see that, you idiot!” he snaps, infuriated. “ Did something trigger this?!”

“Nothing in particular sir; the feeling is just growing stronger within both of them,” the youngest Shadow informs. “ Every time Y/N sees The Joker, she thinks she hates him, but she’s actually falling in love: she doesn’t know the difference. Same with The Joker: every time he sees Y/N he thinks he hates her but he’s actually falling for the woman; he doesn’t know the difference. “

“Absolutely horrible and unacceptable !” the venerable elder huffs, displeased. “We can’t lose them in favor of the other department !”

He is surely talking about the “Match Made In Hell” Division that pairs up villains: The Dark Shadows working there wanted you and The Joker together since you were born.

The two departments are always competing: “Villains That Hate Each Other” section wants villains to detest their peers, while “Match Made In Hell” wants villains to fall in love. Very competitive divisions, always fighting to steal the glory from one another.

“What are we going to do, Your Darkness?” the second in command asks.

“Not sure…” the leader debates. “Let’s see how it goes today and we’ll go from there. One thing is sure: we can’t lose them to the other department!” he sneers, annoyed with the excited screams coming from “Match Made In Hell” quarters: The Shadows there are celebrating, watching the “Love Statistics” for you and The Joker going up; they hoped that would happen for years!!!

***************

You ignore J’s remark, taking a sit in the chair in front of him.

The King of Gotham analyzes that perfect tailored suit you’re wearing: black pants and red jacket, staring at your cleavage for a few seconds without even realizing. A little bit of your lacy bra shows and for some reason it’s hypnotizing. I mean, he saw plenty of bras before but… “E-hem, “ you interrupt his thoughts, fake coughing since you noticed his eyes glaring at your boobs. “I think I bumped into your girlfriend on my way inside. Such a sweet, adorable girl,” you grin and realize he’s still gazing towards that captivating piece of bra stiking out on top of your low cut red jacket.

Sicko, you bite your lower lip and move in your sit in order to distract him.

The King of Gotham is finally paying attention and those intense blue eyes make you nervously bite on your cheek.

“Yeah, she’s soooo sweet,” he smirks, arrogant and full of himself.

“I guess you like sweet girls?” you sarcastically laugh and his smirk transforms into a frown.

“Excuse me?” J sucks on his teeth, considering twisting your neck until it snaps.

“I always see you with these obedient, little cute things,” you chuckle, not knowing why he’s getting on your nerves. “Don’t you actually want to work for it? Feels more rewarding, I’m telling you,” you cross your legs, concluding he definitely needs some love advice.

“Work for what?” the grouchy tone inquires.

“Ahhh, you know what I’m talking about,” you wink, amused.

“Why, you’re volunteering for a trial?” the even more bitter voice echoes in your ears.

“Not at all!” God forbids! you think, appalled. Me and him?! Yuck!

“Then why are you bringing that up?” he taps his fingers on his cane, the corners of his mouth lifted in a very entitled smile.

“Just making conversation, Mister Joker,” you sigh, realizing your eyes have been lingering around his abs and that almost unbuttoned shirt for too long.

His skin must be sooo soft, you catch yourself thinking while licking your lips. Oh, ewww, who cares?! you snap out of it, mad at your dumb self.

“Well then, let’s get down to business,” J impatiently blurs out. “How much is your father willing to pay for…”

“Misssterrrrrr Jaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy,” is heard on the hallway. “Miiiiisssterrr Jaaaaayyyyyy,” the whining gets closer.

The Joker’s left eye is twitching.

The screechy voice resonates one more time:

“Miiiiiisteeeerr Jaaaaaaaaayyyy, are you still here?”

He cringes and it makes you tilt your head with delight:

“I think your little girlfriend is back; yet you don’t seem excited,” and Y/N making fun of that right under his nose prompts the Clown Prince of Crime to growl:

“Shut up, woman and mind your own business!”

“I would if I could but that adorable girl is very distracting. How can we take care of our business if she snatches you away?“ you rightfully declare, changing the meaning of his words.” Men are helpless,” you get off your chair, stepping towards him. ”You need my expertise?” and the mischievous twinkle in your eyes creates a sudden surge of evilness within him also.

The Joker giving you a psychotic stare counts as approval: he needs a hand but too proud to ask.

What is she doing? J watches you, puzzled.

You take a deep breath and a seductive moan escapes your throat:

“Oh my Gooood, yeesss! Oh, Gooood, don’t stop!”

The Joker is taken aback by your provocative screams.

“Ahhh! Oh yes, that’s the spot, baby! Ahhhh, keep going Daddy!” you bend over and kiss him, then smear the red lipstick on his chin, pull on his shirt until his shoulders are completely exposed.

“Misssterrrrr Jaaayyyy,” his girlfriend knocks at the door, trying to open it. It’s always closed during negotiations because J doesn’t like his meetings interrupted. “What’s going on in there?” she frets, attempting to pry the door open.

“Oh, God, it feels so goooood”, you unbutton your jacket and toss it on the floor, panting and breathing really loud. You lower the straps of your bra in a hurry, unzipping his pants and yours too. J doesn’t stop you; he just enjoys the little show and how perfectly you fake it. “Ah, I think I’m close baby!”

More screams and moaning.

He doesn’t make a sound when you mess up his green hair; not a single protest against your action and he hates people touching his perfect locks.

You mess up your hair also, get a leg out of your pants and slowly limp towards the door with your compromising attire, while screaming so the girl can hear it.

You count up to 20 then open the door; she is banging at the heavy oak with her fists and gasps when she sees you like that.

You calmly blow the hair off your face, pulling up your underwear.

“What do you want?” you bark, moving out of the way so she can see The Joker peeled out of his shirt, sarcastically grinning.

“That’s …t-that’s my boyfriend!! “ she stutters, vexed to discover such atrocity unfolding in his office.

“So?! Wait for your turn, girl !” you huff, still panting. “I was almost there and you interrupted! That’s unacceptable!”

“W-what?! “

“ I don’t like my sexcapades coming at an abrupt halt because people can’t wait for their turn !” you lift your boobs in your bra, cracking your back in the process. “He’s mine for the next hour; come back afterwards!” and slam the door in her face, waiting.

“Miiisssstteerrrr Jaaaaaaayyyyyy,” the unbearable voice cries, “This is the last straw!!! I’ve tolerated enough!!! Do you hear me?! I am out of here and don’t try to stop me!”

You roll your eyes and hear his girlfriend stomp on the wooded floor, silence taking over afterwards.

“There, done. You’re welcome,” you nonchalantly dress up, getting in your pants again and picking up your jacket, buttoning up the silver clasps. ”Jesus, that voice she has!” you shiver, over exaggerating a bit.

“That was really good,” The Joker praises, fixing himself up. “You’re a good faker, you know that?”

“U-hum,” you agree, reprising your position on the chair in front of The King of Gotham.

“You have to do this pretty often?” he reaches for the cane and grabs it from the floor.

“Nope. As a rule, I never fake it: if a man can’t satisfy me, I am not going to strike his ego just because. No point in that,” the honest response makes J chuckle.

“I meant helping men getting rid of unwanted girlfriends,” he scratches his arm, eager to finish the negotiations after the eventful evening. “Back to business?”

“Of course,” you agree, just like nothing happened.

“You want something to drink?” The Joker offers and you nod a no.

“I’m good, thanks. OK, my father offers half a million dollars for the merchandise,” you bluntly bring the news to the King of Gotham.

“I want double,” J grumbles, certain he can get it.

“Half a million, Mister J.”

“NO, double!”

You stare at each other, visibly annoyed.

“Seven hundred thousand,” you cut him some slack, aware his merchandise is very good quality.

“One million!” he fights back.

“Seven fifty and you’re taking me to dinner!”

“Deal!” he is fast to agree before you finish. “Wait, what?!”

“You owe me and I’m hungry. Let’s go!” you signal him, getting up again.

“Not so fast ! I answered before debating!” J attempts to get out of it.

You open the door and turn around, exhaling.

“We’ll give you eight hundred thousand, alright? And you are still taking me to dinner!”

“I want a million!”

“Fine! “ you yell, irritated by how stubborn and obnoxious The Joker is all the time.

That’s why you can’t stand him.

“You’re still taking me to dinner! Tonight would be nice, Mister Joker. Come on, hurry up!” you almost get out of the office and he won’t budge.

“I need a few moments,” he mumbles.

“WHY?!” you almost shout, angered.

“I can’t walk properly; you got me all aroused with that terrific performance of yours. The effects are still lingering,” a not very enthusiastic Joker admits.

“Are you serious?” you cross your arms on your chest, antagonized.

“Yeap.”

“I don’t have time for this,” you step inside the room again, locking the door. “I want to go out and I can’t afford to wait until the effects of my show will naturally go away. We’ll just have to get it out of your system now,” you start undressing… again, this time for reals.

J is savoring the striptease, reckoning that even if he hates you, the night turned in his favor: he got his million, got rid of his girlfriend and he’s apparently going to have sex anyway.

I’m so amazing, he thinks, wrapping his arms around your waist when you straddle his lap.

You enjoy undressing him, realizing that even if you hate J, the night turned in your favor: you had fun, got the confirmation of your awesome manipulating abilities and you’re going to have sex on top of it.

Not too bad for two people detesting each other.

***************

You enter the restaurant, closely followed by The Joker. The waiter greets both of you, straining not to glare like an idiot at the two regular guests. Why?

Because The Clown Prince of Crime and Y/N seem they just escaped some kind of war: J has his lip busted and scratches standing out on his pale skin, not that he tries to hide it; his shirt is still unbuttoned but at least he can walk normal.

You have hickeys and bites all over your neck and cleavage and some other places for sure, not that you try to hide it: you’re not using a scarf or anything. Why bother? At least made it to dinner on time and that’s what you wanted.

Once you are sited at the table, you scrawl through the menu, not sure on what you crave.

“That was fun,” you open the conversation, reading through the pages of options.

“Did you fake it?” J casually brings it up since his pride is at stake, scrolling through his menu.

“I told you I don’t bother. If you heard any sounds coming out of me, they were genuine,” you smack your lips, his taste lingering in the back of your mind. “What about you? Did you fake it?”

“I purr and groan a storm only if I’m into it,” he explains, quickly glancing your way.“So if you heard any sounds coming out of me, they were authentic.”

“You did purr and groan a lot,” you smile, remembering how loud J was.

“Maybe I did, but your screams were deafening,” he snorts and it rubs you the wrong way.

“You were louder!”

“No, you were!” he defends his actions.

“You’re so cocky, you know that?!” you give him a mean stare and he returns the favor:

“And you’re atrocious, woman! I never want to see you again!”

“See me again?! Ha ! I would be insane to do that again!” you sulk, wanting to leave but you’re hungry.

The Joker feels the need to be a jerk but instead what comes out his mouth is this:

“Same time tomorrow then?”

“Yes,” you grouchily reply, not being able to concentrate on the food choices since your answer bothers the hell out of you.

******************

“Villains That Hate Each Other” and “Match Made In Hell” departments are stunned: The Joker’s and Y/N names are now showing in both divisions. The “Hate Statistics” and “Love Statistics” keep going up and down, but the names stay on the boards for both sectors.

It’s the first time in The Shadow World when two competitive agencies are not divided but united by their villains: the two humans love and hate each other in the same time with such ferocity it’s impossible to break the connection.

And nobody can say they’re faking it.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[missartus]

Mich’s 25th Tell-All

I just turned 25 last month, and to be honest, it’s been the most stressful and anxiety-induced birthday EVER. 

Well probably because I’m now officially into the mid-twenties category, and with that, I feel like there’s an automatic pressure of having to have it all figured out by this age. And of course, I don’t have it all figured out. Which then makes me so anxious and frightened weeks prior to my birthday. 

But then I eventually turned 25. And I mean, it wasn’t that bad. I think, in general, I just became more reflective on life and I’ve really begun to find more substance into most of what forms me as me -- my faith, my career, my relationships, my mental health, myself.

My self.

So here I am, about to write down all my thoughts, fears, and hopes into this blog that I’ve had as an outlet for YEARS. Hoping that this would at least help me ease my mind and my heart even just for a tad bit.

Career

I’m now almost 3 years into my company, and man is it quite a rollercoaster ride. I’ve formed impressive work ethics here and I’ve really developed into someone that I never thought I could possibly become. From a regular copywriter, I’m now a Content Team Lead. It wasn’t easy getting here. I actually kinda had to be a little bit brave in order for me to be promoted. But regardless, hey (look, ma) I made it. This is the company where I’ve stayed the longest thus far. And I don’t think I’ll stay here this long if not for the unusual yet cool setup we have (stay-in and work from home privileges, time to time trips to Singapore and other countries as well, etc.) But I think more than that, what really made me stay here this long is the people. Cheesy but true. I’ve found real, good friends here. And the team’s got this insane potential that I just can’t let go of because doing so is like letting go of amazing possible opportunities. 

But I’d be lying if I say that I haven’t thought of leaving. I actually have. Twice. But then, whenever I get into that mindset of having to look for another job, something good happens at my company. Just how I was looking for other jobs when we suddenly had a trip to Bali which made me re-think my choices and I think I’m gonna stay here a bit more. :P

Mental Health

My mental health is something that I’ve been (slowly but surely) opening up to people. Mainly because I realized that there really are people who are willing to help me out and listen to me, and all I needed to do is to reach out. And so I did. And now I can say that I’ve never had such an amazing support system in my life. I was actually fine when 2019 began, I had an amazing therapist, I knew how to handle my anxiety, I was learning how to handle my emotions, everything seemed bearable. Because of that, I realized that I might not need to go to my therapy regularly. Eventually, I stopped going at all. Everything was still a-okay. Until my recent attack, a few weeks after my birthday. 

That’s when I realised the importance of ACTUALLY COMPLETING YOUR THERAPY because a relapse can happen anytime. And now, it’s hard for me to schedule a session with my therapist because my slot’s been taken. Lesson learned.

Relationships

As I’ve previously mentioned, I made an effort this year to actively reach out to people and be more open. Majority of that are my friends. Both old and new. I’ve re-connected and connected. 

February of this year I gained new friends, thanks to my new church. Haha. And up until today, this set of church friends is continually expanding. It’s a bit of a challenge to my introvert self, but I’m loving it nevertheless. 

I also almost fell in love. 

Emphasis on the “almost” haha. This is probably a huge twist to my year, I must say. I wasn’t expecting this to happen, much more, I wasn’t expecting who the guy would be. (I just literally did a facepalm typing this haha) I don’t want to delve into how everything happened, but let’s just say that I was almost willing to let go of my non-negotiables and standards, just to pursue a relationship with this man. All roads were leading to a big “NO”, but for a bit there, I tried to push it a little bit more. Tried to see if there’s something that I can hold on to just to finally be in a relationship again. But it didn’t work out. He was confusing, naive, and I just know him too well given that we’ve known each other for quite a while. In return, I was hurt, and even worse, all my insecurities just suddenly poured out. In wanting to launch this potential relationship, I eventually began to question my worth. Why isn’t he as serious as I am? Why isn’t he pursuing me sincerely? What is it about me that’s holding him back? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Skinny enough? What am I doing wrong? 

I almost lost it. I was desperately trying to read between the mixed signals and actions. It was like, majority of the time I was strategising what to do just to get this relationship to blossom. But he just wasn’t on the same page as I am. He doesn’t know what he likes. He clearly wasn’t ready. And so I decided to end it, also for the sake of the friendship that I desired to save. 

I’m not completely okay yet. But I know I’m getting there. Also, I’m trying to rebuild my friendship with him, so there’s that. I know it’s a pretty complicated thing, but as I’ve said, I don’t think I really, really fell in love with him yet. Soooo yeah. Ugh. Hahaha.

Faith

Despite everything that’s been happening in my life this year, God has remained constant. I cannot fully explain just how present He’s been in my life this year. Since I had my relapse last month, He’s never failed to provide me with the things that I need. He’s orchestrated so many things to happen to me, just to make me feel that He’s actually reaching out to me. There were days when I would just literally be in awe because I could really feel His presence there. I’m attending a new church now and it has helped me so, so, much in my spiritual journey, and honestly, if God didn’t lead me there, I would have backslid by now.

My faith was refreshed this year. And I’m so happy it did. God’s grace has been ever so sufficient to me and I will forever thank Him for all the reaching out He did to me and all the mercy and grace He’s poured out. I’m gonna be totally honest, living with this kind of anxiety and all the other pain that I have is very exhausting. It is. I wanted to give up a thousand times. But God never tires to reach His hand out to me, no matter how many times I neglect Him, reject Him, and tell Him that I don’t need Him anymore. Most times, I would actually tell Him that I don’t deserve His love, but He constantly tells me that He does love me, and nothing in this world can change that. Even I couldn’t accept myself, but He does. And knowing that Someone accepts you even if you don’t accept yourself is actually a pretty big deal. 

---

Overall, I’m still trying to figure out how to fully love myself and be rid of all these insecurities and fears. It’s actually easier to find reasons to hate myself than find reasons why I need to love myself. It’s so, so, so hard. And even though I’ve been working so hard on it, there are times when I feel like I’m not even making progress. But you really have to dig deeper within yourself to find that tiny bit of strength and hope. As John Mayer said (which is the song I’m currently listening to now lol), “So I keep runnin' 'til my run is gone, keep on ridin' 'til I see that dawn, and I will be found. I will be found.”

I’m making a solid effort to accept that I am a work in progress, and that’s okay. What’s important is that I am aware of it, and that I’m constantly working to be the best version of myself, no matter how many times I have to try and try again.

[jarclave13-blog]

What’s inside my makeup bag (cruelty-free)

I recently did a poll on my Insta Stories to see if you would be interested in a “what’s inside my makeup bag” post, and 95% of you said “heck yes!!!”, so here it is! Putting this post together has also been a good way of filling the lack of recipe creation lately. I’m currently on an elimination diet to test for allergies (the worst!!) and basically can’t eat anything fun, so there hasn’t been much testing going on over here. It isn’t forever though! I keep telling myself that I will be a normal human being again someday, hah. But I’m soooo grateful that I’m already seeing improvements in my allergic reactions since cutting out the ingredients that my test found I’m sensitive to. I’ll keep you guys posted if you’re interested.

Read on for the deets on my current go-to makeup products. If you haven’t checked it out yet, be sure to read my Favourite Skin Care Products post too.

Lips:

I’m going to kick this off with my favourite category—lips!

HURRAW! Tinted Lip Balm

Shade: Black Cherry

Cruelty-free, vegan

This tinted balm is perfect for kicking around the house! I love the subtle hint of colour this black cherry hue adds.

Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint

Shade: WCW

Cruelty-free, vegan (Note: Tarte is now owned by a parent company, KOSÉ, which is not cruelty-free.) :(

One of my fave lip gloss colours of all time. *heart eyes for berry tones* Biggest gripe? The tube is messy and lip gloss always explodes out the sides when I close it.

Couleur Caramel Lip Gloss

Shade: 805 Raspberry Red

Cruelty-free, vegan

This is a close runner-up for my favourite gloss shade. I actually like this one’s ingredients and packaging better than Tarte’s (no explosions!).

Kopari Coconut Lip Glossy

Cruelty-free, vegan

Ohhhhh yeah. You know I’m obsessed with this gloss. I talked about it in my Favourite Skin Care Products post too. I think of it as a 2-in-1 product because it’s a good lip moisturizer when you’re just lounging around the house (a little bit goes a long way), and it works as a fantastic “top coat” on top of lip colour to add a glossy sheen.

Dr. Hauschka Lip Gloss (*new)

Shade: 03 – Blackberry

Cruelty-free

Silky soft and made with mineral-based pigments, this is my newest go-to lip colour! It’s long-lasting and the Blackberry shade (03) is just perfection!

Foundation + concealer:

Physicians Formula Spotlight Illuminating Primer

Shade: Glow

Cruelty-free

This is a primer, but I use it on top of foundation as a highlighter on my cheekbones, temple area, and bridge of nose. I love how refreshed it makes my skin look even when I haven’t slept much. I tried it as a primer and wasn’t overly wowed, so I prefer to use it on top.

Physicians Formula The Healthy Foundation with SPF 20

Shades: LN4 and MN4 (I mix the two shades in the summer)

Cruelty-free, vegan

Oh BOY have I tried out a lot of vegan foundations. So, so many misses. This one was good enough to keep using, so that’s progress! My biggest complaint is the packaging (it’s awful, quite frankly, because it’s hard to get the product out and I’m not a fan of the applicator stick). Their shade selection is also quite limited. I have to mix two shades in the summer to get my perfect match! I also wish the ingredients were more natural, so I guess you could say I’m still on the hunt for my holy grail vegan foundation! This one will definitely do in the meantime.

Physicians Formula Concealer Twins Cream Concealers

Shade: Yellow/Light

Cruelty-free

I don’t use the yellow shade as I find it’s too noticeable on my skin tone, but I do use the light shade for around my eyes. I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase this concealer as it’s super light and doesn’t cover that much. I also wish they had more shades!

Blush + brush:

Benecos Natural Powder Blush

Shade: Sassy Salmon

Cruelty-free

I don’t normally go for such a bold blush shade, but I fell in love with this one! It really pops off my cheeks and a little bit goes a long way. It’s my new go-to.

Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush

Shade: Paaarty

Cruelty-free

This blush was sent to me as a free sample from Sephora a year ago, and I used it until every last bit was gone! I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase because I’m loving the Benecos so much.

Tarte Bronze & Glow Double-Ended Contour Brush

I love this double-ended brush. I use the small end for blush and the large end for translucent powder.

You might be wondering…Ange, where is the bronzer? The contour powder?! Lol. I don’t use them because anytime I have tried to apply them I turn out looking like I have dirt on my face. So I just kind of gave up! But this tempting 50% off sale at Sephora is making me want to try the Tartiest PRO Glow Highlighter & Contour Palette!

Eyebrows:

My brows have always been light and pretty much nonexistent (thank you to my dad for those genes!), so if I want to feel put together, I will ALWAYS do my brows. I first use the Benecos pencil to fill in patchy areas, and then I use the Tarte mousse with the bamboo angle brush (which is included!!) to bring it all together. Really love this combo for my brows! So easy, long-lasting, and doesn’t smudge.

Benecos Natural Beauty Eyebrow-Designer

Shade: Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Brow Mousse

Shade: Ash Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

Eyeshadow + eyeliner:

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Eyeliner Trio

Shade: Warm Nude

Cruelty-free

I don’t use eyeliner everyday, but I always use it when I’m going out somewhere special, especially in the evening. I love this trio because it comes with black, brown, and bronze shades, which are the ones I normally gravitate toward.

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips All-In-1 Custom Nude Palette For Face & Eyes

Shade: Natural Nude

Cruelty-free

I love this all-in-1 palette because you can use it as a cheek bronzer, over your eyelids, or anywhere you want a pop of shimmer on your face!

Mascara + eyelash curler:

Pacifica Beauty Stellar Gaze Length & Strength Mascara

Shade: Supernova (black)

Cruelty-free, vegan

I’ve tried out a lot of vegan mascaras and this is my favourite “everyday” mascara that I’ve been using for a few years. It’s light and perfect for daytime, but you can layer it for a slightly more dramatic look too.

My eyelash curler is by Sephora!

Powder + concealer:

Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-free Mineral Face Powder

Shade: Translucent Light

Cruelty-free

I have to say, this isn’t my favourite setting powder by any means. In fact, I find it goes on too powdery and I wish it were more dewy, so I use a very light hand when applying it. In the past I would use powder all over my face thinking that I had to get rid of any and all shine, but lately I only use a bit on my nose and a tiny bit on my forehead. I find using less powder really lets my natural (and makeup-accentuated!) glow shine through.

Update: I’ve been using 100% Pure Fruit Pigmented Foundation Powder and I quite like it! It is vegan, cruelty-free, and free of 1,000 toxins.

Physicians Formula Gentle Cover Concealer Stick, Light

Shade: Light

Cruelty-free

I use this occasionally if I need to cover a pimple. I think the shade is a bit too light for my skin tone though so I probably won’t repurchase.

PS: My black and gold makeup bag is from Shoppers Drug Mart!

Do you have any fave makeup products to share? Be sure to let us know in the comments below!

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Source: https://ohsheglows.com/2018/07/27/whats-inside-my-makeup-bag-cruelty-free/