#it wont stop but i do apologize
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moon 0, page 5
>little things.
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#boughmoon#boughlore#clangen#clan generator#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats art#clangen comic#art#i gave hollystar a little star because i like the star designs#oh and i did change the font! on the last page#i got a huge pack of fonts for $19 on itch........ huge for me#sorry i love to ramble in the tags#it wont stop but i do apologize#maybe one of these days i will show you all my awful thmbnails#i. hmm. struggled to make snowkit look as scraggly as i wanted#might need to do some actual studies of nestlings to figure out how to translate the encased feathers into my art style without having#to like add a ton of texture & shading & such or have it take 3 million years per page. im sure de-furring the kittens a little bit would#help make them look scragglier but thats not how it is for like. actual kittens. Hrrmmmm.#things to figure out after moon 0 i suppose.
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Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#sorry still thinking about dofp and i reminded myself of the plane scene#the idea of drunk chess sounds so stupid fun i wish i could play drunk chess#‘snap how do you play drunk chess’ simple !!!! every piece you lose you take a shot#anyway i think itd be silly …….#id like to do something with that idea but i still have to decide on execution#omg xmen fandom hasnt seen my twelve million ‘i wanna draw this so bad’ tags yet#but yeah i sy tht a lot </3 so many things i wanna draw all the time#either that or write …. but i draw more#i love comic makin. and i blame these damned comics for gettin me into it what tha hell !!!#ok im done rambling i wish i had more to say but i dont#i lied i do. this doesnt have to be after erik apologizes on the plane this could be lit any damn time they play#i just live for the progression of them Trying to play semi seriously for a solid twenty minutes before they lose it#and now they wont stop giggling and being stupid asses#theyre still trying to play but ‘trying’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting#imagine it with me chat … itd be so beautiful i could cry frankly#ok my classes are done for today im gonna sit in my room and think of cherik#maybe ill TRY to draw this … if not then def somethin at least
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pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)
request: is this how you request something? ive been using tumblr for just a couple of days and im not used to anything ...i hope this is okay!
could i request a hyoga x gn reader? where reader is kind of blunt and direct with the things they say and end up confessing to hyoga while training with him out of an accident; like they say "this is why i like you!" and then they get really embarrassed about it, however, they dont deny anything and wait for hyoga's response.
if the term handsome could be used to describe reader i would really appreciate it. have a nice day!!! i absolutely fell in love with how you write this man
warnings: it’s very short, hyoga is sweet again, reader is referred to as handsome
While you were never one to beat around the bush— you didn’t really see a point in it— even you would admit that this was not how you planned to share your feelings with him.
It was truly like any other day, you were forcing him to train with you and through all his complaints of how he wished to train alone and how he wished you would leave him alone, he would always help you. His excuse was always that he had to make sure you weren’t going to hold him back when we have to fight, but you knew he was worried about you and the rest of the village deep down and wished for more people who were capable of fighting. However harsh his words may be, his actions always spoke louder than his words. He was strict and hard when you were sparring, but when he was demonstrating better form for certain moves, he was surprisingly gentle.
It was very obvious that he respected you very much, even if he would never say so ever.
So while others wondered why such a handsome individual as yourself, with so many people eager to get a chance to talk to you, would be so invested in talking to Hyoga of all people, it was because you knew he was not as cold and ruthless as everyone thought he was. Deep inside you were aware he cared for many, even if not everyone.
Today he went on again about how your form was very unproper and how you had blind spots everywhere, putting yourself in complete danger depending on the situation. This was not out of the ordinary, but today you were a little curious how he’d respond if you teased him a little.
“You’re quite sweet aren’t you, Hyoga,” you said.
Immediately, he paused and frowned a little.
“How could you possibly have come to that conclusion?” he asked, scoldingly.
“You may not think so, but it’s rather obvious that you do care,” you said.
“I think you’re rather delusional if anything. I’m just worried you’re not going to last minutes against any modern weapon. As of now I do not wish to imagine what’d happen if you’re against a gun of any sort,” he said, rambling on about potential dangers that you would be utterly unprepared for and it only put a smile to your face. You truly didn’t mean to say it out loud, but this was exactly why you loved him— he cares a lot.
“This is why I like you,” you said, before you could stop the words from spilling out. You were going to make something up and deny the fact, until you saw how caught off guard Hyoga looked. You had never seen him look like that ever.
So instead you stopped and looked at him, absolutely nervous, but serious. After what seemed like forever, he finally said something.
“I don’t understand, why do you like me?” he asked, confused what prompted that statement.
“Oh, because you care,” you said. “You’re sweet.”
His eyes widened and a slight smile, hardly visible, but definitely there, appeared on his face. Never in his life would he have thought you could tell his harsh words came from a place of genuine care. However, he could tell that you had slightly the wrong idea, so he had to make it clear.
“I only care about you,” he said.
#hyoga x reader#akatsuki hyoga x reader#hyoga akatsuki x reader#hyoga#akatsuki hyoga#hyoga akatsuki#dr stone x reader#dcst x reader#how long did this take for me to write i dont want to know i am so sorry#see warnings isnt right something is off but i fear people wont read it if i just say notes#so i dont like ruin someones day accidentally#anyways maybe ill find a better way to do it#THANK U SM FOR READING and it is not really proofread i apologize in advance#also the handsome only comes up once and its not even from hyoga im so sorry i didnt know how to put it in without it sounding forced and#this is what i was left with...#THANK U SM FOR UR REQ THOUGH !!! i really enjoyed writing actually#WILL STOP YAPPING SORRY !#request
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im kind of a champion of just taking the witcher 3s the witcherness unflinchingly but the truly unbearable part of the game is unfortunately the fact that the fact geralt was raped by triss comes up often and if you do anything to try and like defend geralt to yennefer in the vein of saying no, being raped does not in fact count as geralt cheating on her, or dont like tell triss it was super okay and you want to have sex with her again anyways the game begins to play high pitched blaring sirens at you until you do. and i still fight back at every turn making it worse for myself but you will quite literally have to kill me first
#yennefer literally physically punishing you if you tell her that you wont apologize to her for being assaulted and then#triss practically greeting you with 'im sorry for what happened it was really wrong i get it if youre still upset' and if you reply#'yeah it Was wrong.' she gets pissy and huffy for the rest of the quest full 'okay ill just stop talking' guy style#lemon squeezy.txt#rape cw //#i do love yennefer badly its not her fault shes a character of all time outside of this but it is in fact why i do the divorce sidequest.#every playthrough. without fail.
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Lowkey once again having that feeling that I wish I would've successfully killed myself when I was younger... isn't that fun (/s). I just feel so scared and overwhelmed about the future, like I'm so uncertain of everything and I feel like a complete failure because nothing I tried before has worked out. And I know logically there's still time, but it feels like I should be better than this. I feel like I haven't really changed that much since being a teenager. I was scared and lonely then, and I'm scared and lonely now. What if I'm always like this and I never figure anything out, and I'm just always a failure. What if nothing ever works out. Fuck
#sorry for being annoying and venting on here so much i just dont know what else to do#also please dont worry about me i wont kill myself i promise. theres way too many things out there i still wanna experience#at the very least there's so many horror movies i still havent seen and im not dying until I've seen them all#and since there's always new ones to discover and to be released; i will be sticking around#so yeah i promise im not gonna do anything like that. i just get really overwhelmed a lot lately#bc i cant stop thinking about my current life and future and when i do my thoughts just spiral endlessly#and i feel terrible#anyway apologies again#vent post
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crying throwing up the people at the big company are so nice to meeee >_<
#one of the coaches stopped me today to apologize for using she/her for me on some occassions bc he didnt know i was using he/they 😭#girl I didnt even register that nor do I really care about what pronouns ppl use for me at work... but thats so sweet...#thinking of asking them if changing my deadname on all platforms is doable.#probably wont ask since its the name i have on my id and it must be easier for paperwork n stuff to keep the same one in the system#being trans at work and only having a partial worksona feels so weird. slash pos ?#nero habla
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art block really is hitting me super hard huh
#i wanna apologize for the lack of art in general. idk whats wrong. i just cant bring myself to make anything#even when i have the time and the drive i just sit and id rather do other things than draw#and the things i sketch end up looking really stiff or really shitty :(#barely been able to think of headworlds and such too in general so its also why ive been playing so much viddy game#but maybe playing viddy game is making me think less#but id i dont play then i wont do anything bc drawing doesnt work so.........#yeah i really dont know whats up. this sucks#thunderclap#i tried starting up a lil comic sketch earlier and it went so bad i just stopped completely idk if i have the heart to attempt it again#i just wanna draw adri tbh but even that is proving difficult
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my rage? insurmountable
#bee buzzes#not to vague post but IMAGINE IMAGINEEEEEEEEEE#literally guilt trips and then as soon as their broken up goes 'omg i have a crush ^-^' SHUT UPPPPP#literally this is all bc u COULDNT GENUINELY APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING SOMETHING RACIST#then repeatedly saying u didnt do anything wrong :( no ones explaining this :( bro be SO FOR REALLLL#like im actually so real rn. get a fucking life.#stop complaining abt having privilege. stop trying to get us to pity you. stop shittalking us to our friends.#like i dont get it. 'leave me alone' u literally wont stop posting abt us. including ppl ur not involved with at ALL#be a real fucking person man. jesus fucking christ.#vent#tw vent
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So with the hangout.. do you think that settles the issue of mistranslation or not of Kaeya and Diluc being brothers?
is it even possible to settle it? i feel like there must be some insane cultural difference between me as a western person and chinese people when it comes to adoptive siblings because, i honestly don't see how the biological son of the guy you consider your adoptive father isn't, by extension, your adoptive brother; how would that relationship not be familial? even when you bring in the "sworn brothers" trope as a means of queercoding, which is a concept ive had explained to me more than once – like, okay? i agree that it's true you can't properly translate/localize that, but. how else did you want them to translate it? even if the word brother was never used once in the eng translation, how do you make it so that kaeya and diluc calling the same guy "father" doesn't imply some uncomfortable things if he and diluc are romantically involved..? but then, who knows, maybe i just don't have enough knowledge about how censorship works in china, how they do queercoding over there, how they deal with adopted relationships, whatever. it's fine. different cultural upbringings, no? it's funny when it's the western side of the fandom discussing this, though. because you'll have these extremely white people arguing with you about the intricacies of chinese BL media. as if either of us knows what the hell we're talking about. anyway, none of this matters in the end because most klc shippers just... like the incest. and the day we stop arguing about mistranslations and simply accept that people either 1) see this relationship in a different light due to their cultural background or 2) are a little bit of a freak online is the day i will finally know peace as a kaeya fan
#i dont think this will be settled until we stop asking if it's settled. what if we just don't speak about it anymore#me: no i dont do discourse. sorry. *five minutes later*#first and last time i will spend this many words on this topic#and i hate the ''it's just fiction'' argument because yes. it is just fiction.#im not gonna come here and say this has an effect on real life. of course it doesnt this is gacha game yaoi#and i wont say that people aren't well within their right to engage with this sort of content either#i dont think it necessarily means anything about the moral values you apply to reality#i myself am into things in fiction that i find horrible in real life. why wouldn't i extend this same logic to proshipping?#doesn't change the fact that it's something i find weird and uncomfortable.#and that it's something that a Lot of people are going to find weird and uncomfortable#and that acting like this is just a regular pairing between two random guys is.. frankly really dumb#if you're gonna be weird about it at least own it! admit you're just into things society perceives as very gross#and tag your thing correctly so i can filter it out and block me so i never ever have to interact with you in my life#Okay. that's out of my system now. i apologize for posting discourse#complaining tag#askpilled#discourse
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I still watch marvel movies because my partner likes them and sometimes I enjoy them. I'm not about to deprive myself unnecessarily of anything that brings me joy
Exactly!!! I was a little too young to be interested in marvel during its peak popularity I think, when I started watching the movies it was 2016. And I had soooo many people be like HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IRON MAN????? bro bc I was like 5 when Iron Man came out sorry. It became a genuine interest of mine later than was mainstream and now marvel is smth to be laughed at and everyone (especially my age I think?? I feel like gen z HATES marvel with a passion) expects you to hate it. And I find it so interesting bc Endgame is the highest grossing movie of all time and yet,, the most widely hated in a way??? Idk if it's bc people don't wanna like things that are popular ?? I probably see more hate than the average person bc i engage with the marvel fandom but I remember people in real life hating it. The criticisms of the cgi and disney as a company etc etc are valid but the rest of Disney hasn't been written off the same way. I complain about some things they've done to characters bc the characters are really important to me! So I hold onto the fact that they created characters that are really important to me! I personally HATE kevin feige (president of marvel) I think he's an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing 💔 and yet I generally enjoy most marvel content. He's behind all of it. If they ever completely ruin it for me then I'll stop and I get that it's been completely ruined for some people but I think it's crazy how it just switched to being the Thing To Hate
#sorry no one asked for a rant#it doesn't matter that much but it irks me!!! that things get soooo trendy and you get sooooo judged for not going with the trends#it irks me that so many people turned on marvel for no reason bc they dont deserve that!#theyve done things they deserve criticism for but use that against them. dont just complain about the humor (????)#its like with greys anatomy#i dont watch anything after derek dies bc its not worth it anymore to me#its destroyed after that#but i have a lot of complaints about seasons 9 through 11#just. up until that point it was still redeemable#once it wasn't i stopped watching#thats what ill do with marvel#i wont deny that there's been issues and some people have issues with things i disagree with but theyre still valid#but so much of the hate train is just!!!! that people wanna be cool and different its not backed up with anything#its annoying!!!!!!#lol i apologized for ranting and continued with another rant#anyway ❤️#marvel
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i know ive been super quiet here since my seizure bc life is Difficult. but uh, probs gonna even more quiet bc work is hell rn AND our ball python Atlas passed away two nights ago so my mental is Pretty Fucking Low
#mild vent#animal death ment tw#i literally do not have the spoons to go into any of it rn so apologies to anyone not in my personal server#and thus not getting the actual in depth talks i can sometimes manage#expecting that for the foreseeable future im just gonna hop on here occasionally to put posts in the queue#was gonna try to keep up w my artblogs queue more#but looks like im probs just gonna let it go silent again for a bit when that queue runs out#im tired. im so fucking tired#any one thing happening could be manageable but life just wont stop kicking me while im down#i went from doing the best ive ever done mentally#to at minimum two intense crying sessions a day
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when you stabbed me in the back
and i fell to the ground
i bled through everything.
my blood dripped and swirled all around the world
so i guess thats my revenge... my haunting...
that everywhere you look- you still see pieces of me
ironic- since you only wanted to steal pieces for yourself...
but it's hard to forget who's blood you paint with too, isn't it?
#my poems#it wont stop till you finally apologize and do right by me#show me all those 'i love you's weren't all just a horror movie tier lie
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#this is like...another thank you post day i suppose#i always always always have this moments tbh and I just wont stop doing it unless there comes a day I wont feel thankful at some point? uhh#anywaysss#yeah as I said#ty#to my mutuals whose been sticking with me up until now#who interacts with me through chat sometimes(i apologize)#and sometimes even tagging me on things#ngl I am also sorry about not doing anything about those tagging things recently#but am thankful i came into your mind when doing the thing ^^ i appreciate it so much#like seriously why but regardless tysm ^^#and to the followers of this blog too#like seriously tysm#every notif i receive means a lot#although I hope you all are okay though coz my content...ya know#just hang in there with me yes?#again tysm! this has been long again???? and i feel like i didnt even say much but yeah ty#i hope yall have a nice weekend! stay safe always and tc loves 🖤
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At this point I hope the next time will be successful, either in that I do manage to leave or I do something so bad it can't just be brushed off and I have to get any form of help since I cannot keep going like this
#how many times have i gone through this now?#how many times do i have to be lied to#is there a limit to the number of suicide attempts and being able to get help? because for the last couple hours ive been so scared#what am i doing to me? why cant i stop it?#why is it that what i say is read as lies to them?#how many times must i beg because no one believes me. what makes me seem a liar#the delusions consume me and only in the times i can see it can i aks for help. but no. its all lies. because its so obviously false#what must i do to be heard#i regret saying anything about being trans#because that's such an easy excuse for them#yeah. havent spoken to you and no intention of listening. but you tried to kill yourself because youre trans#that was a whole appointment#the fear because even if i wanted help when suicidal (which isnt often because of trauma and delusions) i wont get any and i could just die#fuck them and their suicide prevention. where is it?#its traumatic enough going through an attempt. worse when the reality hits you at the lowest of times#it will happen before sunday thats for sure. best time to do it#the way they defend each other when they say something awful and i just want an apology or for someone to acknowledge it isnt kind
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Okay I didn't wanna bother op by putting this in the tags of that last post I reblogged, the bitch daughter/bastard son post
But that is SO confrontational that it's FASCINATING for me
Like I can't imagine anyone in my family calling someone else a bitch. Even on my dad's side of the family, which is relatively mean, where my dad DEFINITELY things my aunt is a massive bitch.
I wanna put that op's mom under a michael scope and study her. What could possibly inspire you to call your child a bitch. Over PANTS. Like over anything is wild. But over PANTS.!.????? I am fascinated.
#the worst thing ive ever said to my mum was 'fuck you'#and that was at a very very emotionally charged moment that has not happened before or since#it was a Whole Thing and i couldnt get away and she wouldnt leave me alone#tbh i never apologized for that and i never will. i forgive her! for her actions! but bruh i did nothing wrong. i did what i had to do.#you might think 'wow thats a lot' but imagine being 18 and you lost your phone in a stupid way and its just confirmation that#to you that no matter what you do you will always be a failure and the world would be better off without you and you cant even punish#yourself with self harm because youre staying with relatives and you know youre worthle#s and then your mom wont stop telling you that you messed up by losing your phone. and its like. you know. you know. you know you fucked up#and that youre a waste of space and that no one is saying that but they all know it too#so you go to a field to sit down and be alone and she follows you out and tells you to come inside#so you do and go up to your cousins bedroom where youre staying but the wall is open to the hallway#so its not even rly private and then she just keeps walking in to tell you#'this is serious that you lost your phone thats not okay'#when all you can think about is how you deserve to drown in your own blood.#so! yeah anyways! while my family doesnt speak to eachother that way i maintain i did nothing wrong with saying fu.
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feeling like shit so i open up tumblr to observe the little gay people in my phone amen🙏
#the more venty shit im gonna put in tags#i just feel terrible about a situation that happened like#what#a week ago?#but it led to so many people i wanted to befriend cutting contact with me#i was gonna send a funny post to a guy i had wanted to be friends with and then i realized they unfriended me and unmooted me#which that standalone seems small#but its a recurring thing#i can name 3 people.off the top of my head who i wanted to be friends with whove cut contact#because of a situation i was never given the chance to explain and apologize for#they hate me because of what is genuine misinformation and it sucks#venting about this because ik they dont keep up with my blogs anymore so whatever#i wont mention names but if you do find this and realize its about you i would really like a second chance#idk#maybe i should stop venting on tumblr#sorry guys#vent
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