#it will never make sense to me…I don’t mind waiting a couple weeks but 3 years bestie!!!!
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kyaikoo · 1 year ago
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paywallers suck the literal joy out of finding cute shit …like girl it’s been 3 years RELEASE THE CC!
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ladykailitha · 3 months ago
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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 3
Hey guys!! I am really loving all the excitement for this story. It's going to be a fun ride.
I'm going to be taking a week off with this and Icarus (metal band Steve) next week because I can't wait for you guys to see the Stripper AU and the Olympic swimmer one. And Sept is too far away dammit!
This part we see the morning after and Eddie learns Steve's real situation.
Part 1 Part 2
~
Steve woke up the next morning, warm, sated, and happy. He stretched luxuriously in the bed, reveling in the silky softness of the satin sheets against his bare skin.
“There’s the sleepy head,” Eddie said from a nearby chair. He was gently strumming his guitar and jotting down notes. “Did you sleep good, princess?”
Steve sat up and let the sheets pool provocatively around his waist. “Best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time, if I’m honest.”
Eddie chuckled and put the guitar down. He strolled over to the bed and kissed Steve deeply. “As much as I would like round two, I’ve got to check out in an hour and I still need breakfast and shower.”
Steve pouted, but the tantalizing smell of room service hit his nose and his stomach growled.
Shit.
He hadn’t eaten since his dinner two nights before. So he slid out of the comfort of the bed and pulled on his pants, before padding over to the table that had a literal feast laid out.
“I figured you’d be hungry,” Eddie explained. “Eat as much as you want, I can grab food on the tour bus.”
Steve looked up at him, chewing his bottom lip. “Are you sure?”
“Yup!” Eddie said, and then gathered some clothes and slipped into the bathroom.
Steve dug into the food with gusto. His mouth watering around each bite. Look, he’d grown up rich. He had never had “poor” people food. Only the best ever graced his mother’s table. But this? This was god tiered level food. Each bite melted in his mouth and lit up all his senses. It was divine.
Granted that could just be because he was hungry, but he didn’t think so.
He wasn’t sure how long he took savoring each morsel but he looked up to Eddie chuckling in the doorway to the bathroom.
“You keep making those sounds, baby,” he purred, “and I might be tempted to see how fast I could get you off.”
Steve ducked his head to hide his blush. “Is the food always this good?”
Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Not always sometimes they’ll have some asshole chef who thinks he’s god’s gift to food and makes it all about him. Small portions, bland, expensive as hell. There isn’t much Hawkins has going for it, but this hotel is definitely one of them.”
“It must be so expensive getting a room here,” Steve breathed.
Eddie just shrugged. “You must have not come from much if this impresses you.”
“My parents are like lawyer and businessman rich,” Steve said shaking his head, “not rockstar rich. Trust me when I say that this would blow their fucking minds.”
“Duly noted,” Eddie said coming to sit next to him at the table. There was still a lot left as Steve had been enjoying the meal instead of scarfing it down. “I wouldn’t know. I grew up in Forest Hills that’s the trai–”
“Trailer park,” Steve said quietly, “I know. I used to babysit after school for fun money. I didn’t have to do it, but I enjoyed it and I liked the pocket money that wasn’t dependent on Mommy and Daddy. Anyway one of my kids was from there. She had a single mom who worked and when she didn’t she drank, so I was happy to watch her and get her out of the house for a couple of hours.”
“Oh.” Eddie blinked for a moment and then half shrugged. He pulled some food onto his plate and took a bite. “So yeah, I grew up poor and each time we moved up the chain from sleeping rough, to motel, to cheap hotel, to nice hotel, to some place more like this I was always impressed. Don’t impress me anymore, though.”
Steve tilted his head to the side. “Do you miss that? The wonder of seeing each new place?”
Eddie frowned as he thought about it. He took another bite of food but he nodded. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
He poke Steve in the ribs. “Don’t I didn’t notice you wanting to go diving into those pillows when we first came in. I saw you.”
Steve squeaked and giggled. “All right, all right. But can you blame me?”
“Nope!” Eddie said with a grin. “Because that was the first thing I did when I got into the room yesterday afternoon.”
Steve laughed. “Yeah, all right.”
They finished their breakfast.
“Come on let me take you back to your car,” Eddie said putting his luggage together for his PA to grab later.
“Oh.”
Steve didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t tell him that he still had all his earthly possessions in his car. At least he hoped they were still there. That he didn’t have any place to go and he couldn’t ask the parents of those kids he babysat. His dad would make their life hell.
“No, it’s fine,” he said waving Eddie off. “I’ll relax here in the lobby for a bit and then call a friend for a ride. You can go whenever you need to.”
He had no friend to call and he would be walking that long ass trip back to the bar.
“I’m not going to do that,” Eddie said, standing up. “I’m going to take back to the bar because that’s where the tour bus is anyway. It doesn’t make any sense to have you call someone else when we are literally going to the same place.”
Shit.
There was nothing Steve could say to that. So he finished getting dressed and walked with Eddie back to his rental car.
Once they got to the bar, Steve tried to sneak off, but Eddie wasn’t having it.
“I’m walking you to your car, Stevie,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Fuck.
Steve dragged his feet all the way to the back of the lot where his Bimmer was parked.
Eddie stopped ten feet from the car and looked at Steve in indignation. “Please tell me you have some place to go after I get on that tour bus.” Steve opened his mouth, but he held up a hand, “And please don’t lie, you’re terrible at it.”
Steve’s jaw dropped as he stared at him in shock. “I am not!”
“Yeah, you are, babe,” Eddie said coming and taking Steve’s face in his hands. “It’s how I was able to tell you weren’t twenty-two, remember?”
Steve let out a small petulant huff but said, “Yeah, okay. My dad kicked me out and threatened all my friends so they wouldn’t want to take me or risk his wrath. He did the same thing to my job at the video store.”
Eddie kissed him tenderly and then pressed his forehead against Steve’s. Steve grabbed onto his wrists for something to hold onto, not to pull him away.
“Let me get this straight,” Eddie growled, “you have no friends, no money, no job, and no place to go, is that right?”
Steve nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. He took Steve’s hand and started hauling him away from the car.
Steve stumbled, trying to keep up. He looked back at his car and then back to Eddie. “But where are we going?”
“I need to make a short pit stop and then we’re going back to the hotel,” Eddie said firmly.
“But what about your tour?!” he protested. “I let you throw your life away from some guy you just met!”
Eddie stopped and turned around to face him. “You listen real close, little Canary. We are going back to the hotel to get you a room for the next six months so that you have a roof over your head and a constant supply of food. Then I will be going on tour and will check in on you from time to time to make sure you do need anything else. Is that clear?”
Steve gulped he wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. And he had the feeling that if he tried to weasel out of it, Eddie would be right back in Hawkins to hunt him down.
“You take care of everyone else,” Eddie said gently, “let me take care of you.”
“How–how did you know I take care of everyone else?” Steve stammered, trying not to think of the implications of what was going on here.
Eddie kissed him gently. ‘Because little Canary, you have not once talked about the boy you were obviously caught with for your dad to throw you out even though he’s not offering to take you in either. You haven’t railed against the friends that are clearly more afraid your dad then they care about you. You haven’t blamed your dickhead boss for firing you for being gay, even though you really should. And you haven’t called the parents of the kids you used to babysit for fear of your dad coming after them, too. You have carer written all over you, babe.”
Steve blinked in the face of that onslaught of information.
“Oh.”
He hadn’t really thought to blame anyone for his current predicament because it was obviously his fault this all happened.
“So you’ll let me help you?” Eddie asked with a raised eyebrow.
Steve sighed and waved his free hand back to the direction they were going. “Lead on.”
Eddie cackled and did just that.
~
What the pit stop was was Eddie talking to his band and manager about getting Steve a room at the hotel, putting all of the expenses on Eddie’s credit card and hauling all his belongings up the hotel room Steve had vacated literally a scant hour before.
The room had been cleaned and the bedding replaced and the bed made anew.
Eddie handed Steve a paper with a couple of numbers on it. “The top one is my cell phone. I usually leave it in the tour bus, but if you call it I’ll call you back as soon as I can. The second number is Chrissy, she’s our manager, if you need anything other than what the hotel provides, call her and she’ll get it for you. The third number is your hotel en suite phone number. I don’t recommend giving this out to too many people though, okay?”
Steve nodded and gingerly took the paper from him. He looked up at Eddie, eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Thank you so much for this.”
Eddie kissed him again. “You just relax and enjoy yourself, baby. The tour will be over in a few months and then I’ll come back to you, I promise.”
Steve kissed him goodbye as tears flowed down his cheeks. Eddie kissed them away and gave him a hug goodbye.
Once Eddie was gone, Steve sat down into the chair Eddie had been in when he woke this morning. Hard.
His entire life had been turned upside down again. This time was even more insane than the last.
Just two days ago, he had been making out with Tommy Hagan on his parents’ sofa and now he was sitting in the swankiest suite in Hawkins’ swankiest hotel, which would be his for the next six months.
He had all his clothes and his pictures and things. He even got to put them up on the side table, housekeeping would just dust around them. His clothes were in the drawers and closet. There was a basketball court in the hotel gym, there was a swimming pool, and a fucking sauna. There was a TV in the room, hooked up to cable. He could even order porn on here and it would all be charged to Eddie’s credit card.
Steve literally had everything he could ever need and never leave the hotel. There was just one condition.
No underaged drinking on Eddie’s credit card. Steve could smoke, watch porn, do whatever else he wanted, but he couldn’t drink alcohol until he was twenty-one. Because Eddie didn’t want to get into trouble with the law and Steve really didn’t blame him.
So he traded booze for the life of luxury. Which fucking hell was a pretty great trade.
He wiped his hands on the black leather pants he had yet to change out of and stood up.
Steve eyed the bed for one moment before he was running straight for it. He leapt into the air and landed spread eagle, face first in the center of the bed, pillows flying everywhere.
It was every bit as amazing as he thought it would be.
He rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he could get used to this, in fact.
~
Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12
Tag list: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss
2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt
9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec
10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006
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lionhanie · 5 months ago
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han taesan ; back 2 u (part one)
you can’t help but find yourself coming back to taesan everytime
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this is part one of my series, back 2 u! read the previous part here!
fuckboy!taesan x fem!reader, college au
...featuring! BFFS jaehyun + woonhak, fuckboy leehan (AND he's taesan's roommate), and lovely roomies sungho + riwoo <3
word count: 1.7k
warnings: cursing, alcohol mention and usage, party mentions, TAESAN IS A BIG FLIRT, reader lowkey doesn't like him lol
a/n: fuckboy taesan i won;t U so bad .. . .. </3
likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!
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You would’ve never expected yourself to be involved with Han Taesan, well-known on campus equally for his pretty face and his ability to have someone new under his arm every week. Your school wasn’t necessarily huge, but it was impressive to think that most students had some inkling about who Han Taesan was.
His existence frustrated you deeply, actually. There wasn't any actual reason to hate him per se, but it was aggravating to think that some people just have so much going for them. Not only was he undeniably attractive to anyone who had eyes, he was also known for his unmistakable musical talent and a captivating charm that drew people in immediately. It’s almost comical the way you could be minding your business in class only to overhear a group of girls a couple seats over talking about how handsome Taesan was at a party last weekend or who his most recent fling could be.
Despite everything you’ve heard people say concerning him, you found it hard to believe he was such a player. Sure, he may have some good looks, but he looks… Innocent, in a way. Harmless.
The first time you’d interacted was in the library. You’ve noticed him in there on various occasions while you were working, but never paid much mind to it, given that he’d only look around the bookshelves for a couple minutes before seeing himself out. Taesan was standing right in front of the library’s help desk, where you worked for a couple hours in between classes. “By any chance, would I be able to check out this book?” He’s holding it out to you, and you’re surprised to find that he’s renting out one of your favorite novels. 
“Yup, I’m just going to need your name and student ID. You can only get it for four days at a time, but you’re free to come back and renew the book if you need more time with it,” You type away at the keyboard in front of you, opening up the form you needed to fill out for book rentals. “That’s a good book, by the way.” Your small talk is unnecessary, but your job was too boring not to make conversation with the few people that actually used your services. 
“Yeah, I’ve been eyeing it for a while,” He’s smiling as he takes his card out from the back of his phone case, sliding it to you on the counter. “Ah, my name is Han Taesan. And here’s my ID.” Picking it up, you notice that the name he’d just given you didn’t match the one on his ID. Han Dongmin? You were almost sure this was Taesan, though. Sensing your confusion, he chuckles as he moves to explain the mismatching names. “Most people know me as Taesan, not Dongmin. It’s just a nickname, really. Does it matter what name I use to check out the book?” He tilts his head as he looks back up at you, waiting for your response. 
“No, not really. It’ll be linked to your ID anyways, so it should be fine.” You scan his ID on the card reader next to you, allowing you to finish up the form splayed out on the monitor. Taesan drums his fingers on the counter, glancing around the near-empty library; he’s humming the melody to a song you don’t know. “You’re all set, Dongmin.” You slide his receipt and a piece of paper telling him when he needs to return the book under the cover before giving it back to him. 
He’s caught off-guard at hearing his real name come from your mouth, but he flashes you a grin regardless. “Have we met somewhere before…” Taesan’s sentence trails off until he notices the name tag pinned to your shirt, “...Y/N?” 
This time, you’re the one caught off-guard. “Sorry, is it better for me to call you Taesan?” You question. He’s probably only striking up a conversation because he doesn’t like people calling him by his real name— that probably explains why people call him Taesan instead. “And no, I don’t think we have.”
“Nah, keep calling me Dongmin. It sounds nice coming from you.” He’s leaning on the counter now, close enough for you to notice the luxurious-smelling cologne coming off of him. “You’ll be one of the few people who call me that, you know.” His comment makes you roll your eyes playfully, scoffing at the way he’s making it sound like a special honor for you to be able to call him that. “Are you free this weekend?” 
The clicking of your keyboard stops as you finally look at him properly, feeling slightly bashful at the sudden question paired with his intense stare. “...Why do you ask?”  Your initial perceptions of Taesan quickly dissolve, as you now realize that this is the type of person he really is. Looks really can be deceiving. He smirks at the expression on your face, happy with himself knowing he has such an effect on someone he just met.
He slides his phone over to you, just like he had done with his student ID just moments ago. You take a peek at it, curious about its contents, only to see a blank “New Contact” screen waiting for you. “Number?” He asks for a girl’s number… Like this? It irritates you to think that he’s probably used this exact sequence numerous times without fail, and now he’s here using it on you while you’re at work.
Hesitating briefly, you pick up the phone and type in your info— You hate how easily you give in to him, almost wishing you played a bit harder to get, but it’s hard to say no to the handsome face of Han Taesan directly asking you for your number. “I’ll text you, yeah?” 
“Okay,” You reply, completely baffled at the interaction that just unfolded all in the span of less than ten minutes. Taesan slips his phone into his pocket and tucks the book he rented under his arm, giving you a small smile as he steps away from the desk. As you watch him walk out the sliding doors, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. Next to you, your phone screen lights up. 
4 new messages from “Unknown Number”! it’s dongmin [address] come saturday if ur free, starts at 10 i’d love to talk to u again, y/n :-) 
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Just this once, you’re grateful that Han Taesan is so widely known, because it was surprisingly easy to find friends who were already planning on attending Saturday’s party. You were at ease knowing you’d at least have Riwoo and Sungho to fall back on if the nerves suddenly took over. 
You wish you could say that you debated on not coming, but that’d be a complete lie, because you’re currently standing in the middle of Riwoo and Sungho’s shared apartment throwing back shots to pregame. “It’s been a while since you came out with us Y/N! What’s the occasion?” Sungho randomly interrogates you while refilling the empty shot glasses on the counter. 
Biting your lip, you contemplate your response: Should you lie and say you just felt like partying this weekend? You’re well aware of the fact that the pair of roommates in front of you are friends with Taesan… So it wouldn’t be weird to mention him now, right? But then again, his parties are huge. Chances are, he invites random strangers to them all the time, so there’s no need for you to act like your interaction at the library was anything special— You’re about to answer when your phone screen flashes on the kitchen island.
 
2 new messages from “Han Dongmin”! i’ll see u later ya? ik u won’t leave me hanging again y/n ;P 
The notification exhilarates you. Was he looking forward to seeing you tonight? It annoys you slightly to think that Taesan knew you’d show up, even if you’d never confirmed the matter. “Ah… I didn’t know you were friends with Taesan, Y/N!” Riwoo reads the text off your phone from over your shoulder as he moves to pick up one of the shots Sungho just poured. Guess he chose the answer to your internal turmoil for you. “Now that I think of it, how come we’ve never gone to any of his parties together before?” 
Mirroring his actions, you take a glass for yourself and finish it in one clean gulp, wincing at the burn it sends down your throat. “Hm, I don’t think I’d call us friends. He asked for my number at the library the other day.” You correct him, explaining the encounter you shared with Taesan two days prior. 
Being the last to take their shot, Sungho hums in understanding across from you. You can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to actually get to know the kind of person Han Taesan is; Would he maintain the tension with his flirty remarks? Or is he just a normal college student that doesn’t actually live up to the reputation he’s made for himself around campus? 
“So, Y/N, do you think he’s hot?” Sungho blurts out, making you choke on your spit. Riwoo giggles from beside you, patting your back as you finish your coughing fit. “I mean, we don’t care if you think he is. Taesan’s a handsome guy. Hell, half the student population probably thinks so too!” Sungho’s contagious laughter fills the kitchen, making you and Riwoo laugh along with him. 
“Well duh, why wouldn’t I think he’s hot?” There’s a smile on your face as you admit your attraction to the boy in question. Han Taesan is definitely intriguing. The alcohol feels like it’s finally made its way through your system, the room feeling a bit warmer than it was earlier. The three of you didn’t drink much; just enough to give you a little more courage to go to the party without feeling too nervous. You take a glance at the clock on their microwave: 10:43PM. “Shouldn’t we get going?”
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taglist: @minwrlds @luna2nite @taesancore @taesanmoon @helpsplease @taylorluvation (send an ask / comment if you want to be added hehe)
© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!
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mira-s-bookclub · 6 months ago
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Revelations at Court
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Fenrys x Reader
Note: It wasn't supposed to be so looong, but here we are :3
Warnings: Poison, suggestiveness, hint of past trauma.
Summary: 'Rowan and Lorcan shared females', was what Aelin had told Y/n, but what if they shared -even after the female had gone?
Words Count: 3,3k
. . . . . ╰──╮ ╭──╯ . . . . .
“I think Rowan and Lorcan did it.”
“Did it?”
“You know,” I say, smiling, “it.”
Fenrys laughs. “You think they fucked?” And when he says it like that, I falter a little. Laying on the warm edge of the castle wall, eyes closed against the hot feel of the sun on my face, my head in Fenrys’ lap; he stops his play with my hair. I open my eyes, finding his frowning down at me. “We would have known.”
I sit up, “You know they shared a female before?” My mind hadn’t given that a rest after I had found out from Aelin, even keeping me up at night wondering what else those century old bastards have been doing. What maybe even Fenrys have been doing. My body heats.
His eyebrow quirks up. “So I’ve heard. But I don’t know why that interests you so much, Dove?”
I huff.
“Enlighten me,” he grins, stroking a mischievous hair behind my ear. “Do you think a lot about what other males tend to do when aroused and no females are there? Or when females just don’t -scratch that ick?” he purrs. My cheeks redden, as they often do whenever Fenrys opens that dirty mouth. I did have a sense for experimenting.
“I think,” I try to keep my voice steady, “that perhaps they continued to share, after, the female was gone.” I couldn’t keep my thoughts from trying to make this make sense. They had a sense of familiarity that they didn’t share with the rest. I had thought it came from their age and being in the same cadre through the years. But perhaps it came from a whole other reason? Perhaps, because they knew each other inside and out, literally.
“We need to investigate that, you know,” Fenrys makes a move to stand up.
“Where are you going? We’re not needed until midday -I don’t want to miss a couple hours of free time.”
“We are going to find Aelin.” He drags me up and towards the archway and inside. “And you talk as if your job isn’t voluntarily,” he chuckles at me. I shrug, working in a kingdom with plenty of gold seemed to have its advantages. “I work best with breaks and vacation.” Walking along one of the many passageways placed throughout the castle, I take a deep breath.
Finding Aelin would mean telling her about where my mind seemed to lie lately. Which could end two ways; she would laugh in our faces, never letting us forget at one time we thought her mate was banging her late enemy, or she would be on board with the thought process and help us to expose the males. They were proud males, and I so desperately needed to embarrass them a little as they have gotten too comfortable here at court. They are slacking. And a big secret that the two big brutes who never would dare to show love, were softhearted lovey-doveys with each other? I knew I was overreacting, but gods it would feel nice to catch them unexpectedly. Lorcan had caught Fenrys and me one time in a meeting room, during a…heated encounter after we had been separated for two whole weeks. He hadn’t let us live that down.
A shoulder knock into me. “Where did you go?” he asks.
I don’t answer that, instead, “Do you know where she is?” She could be anywhere, anywhere from the throne room to the theatre down in the city. I knew she loved that theatre, having been the first new thing built. She could also be on her way to another kingdom entirely; no one really knew with that female.
He looks up at the sky, at where the sun lay. “The courtyard, she and Lysandra should still be lunching at this time.” He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers and I turn my head for a kiss. “We could still make time to scratch that ick, you know? I’m sure they will wait for us.”
My heart stumbles and I roll my eyes playfully. “Gross, I don’t have sexual encounters.” His laugh is rich and full, knowing that its often me who start things between us. I’m sure we have time.
The courtyard is full of greenery, a small fountain placed in the center. Trees and bushes line the farthest wall, shading the place from windows and curious spectators. On the left side of the fountain, under a cherry tree, sits Aelin and Elide.
Holding Fenrys’ hand, I smile, and they wave us over.
Elide, holding a tray of crackers and cheese, smile at us. “We thought you might have disappeared on us for a second, taking up Dorians offer to vacation while he works in Eyllwe, just to get some sun.”
“Ha,” Aelin said, stuffing another cheese laid cracker in her mouth, “the suns too strong, she’d burn before getting there.” She winked. I walk past her, ruffling her hair and stealing the plate with crackers, taking a bite I find a chair opposite Aelin. Fenrys keeps to standing behind me.
“I’m not the one who has to keep to the castle at all times during Spring,” I say the last bit imitating her voice, “because ‘I’ve suddenly developed an allergy to flowers.’”
She laughs and Fenrys coughs. “Oh right, yea we came here for a reason,” I say, taking the cheese.
“Figures.”
I look up at Fenrys, hoping he would take the hint. I make a cheese cracker. Sighing, “What do you know about Rowan and Lorcan’s relationship?” he looks around, as if hoping neither were here.
Aelin looks confused. “I know they’ve known each other centuries,” she stops, drinking her wine, “I know they were crime buddies, back in the day.”
“But what if they were more?” the question comes out of me without thinking and I get nervous. If she’s not on board, then this is where it ends, and I will never find out if the two warriors indulged in each other.
“Like lovers?” she sounds sceptic.
“You once said Rowan had told you of a time where they would even share females, together, do you think they might have done so too without others?” I look to Elide, knowing that I am talking about her mate too, and while Aelin and Rowan had a tight bond, it was different compared to Elide and Lorcan’s. Rowan would follow Aelin wherever, but he would also heed her command to stay and protect her kingdom should it ever come to that; Lorcan would not. Elide’s face was red as I say, “do you Elide?”
Her deer eyes crinkled and she smiled brightly, “Oh gods, how I wish that true,” she said, “it would be brilliant.”
I smile and Fenrys asks, “So, he has never given any indicator?”
“No, nothing I can remember right now,” she shook her head, and I turned back to Aelin who seemed to be staring off to another world.
“Aelin?”
She looks at me, “I have a plan.”
Shaking the vial in her hand, Aelin grins at me. “This is going to be fun.” I shake my head, kind of regretting the whole thing, feeling embarrassed.
“Will the potion reveal…other things as well?” Elide asks from her place on Aelin’s bed, Lysandra having taken to the gardens with Aedion.
We had retreated to Aelin’s bedchambers after hearing her plan, I must have gone through it a million times before Fenrys finally convinced me. It wasn’t that it was a bad plan, quite the opposite, it was brilliantly simple. We are going to wait until night falls for Rowan to retreat to bed with Aelin, and when he’s not looking; Aelin will put a few drops of her soothing medication she got prescribed after the war in his tea. The vial, which on the back states quite clearly ‘Unwanted side effects with careless use: Honesty’, would help loosen Rowan’s tongue. I think I am afraid it is unmoral.
“I honestly don’t know. Perhaps.” She gives the vial another shake before putting it in her dress pocket. “Now shoo, before Rowan comes,” waving us away.
Out the door I turn to Fenrys, seeing Elide and Lysandra walk through the nearest balcony door from the corner of my sight. It was getting heated inside the castle at this point.
“You worry.” I turn my gaze yet again to him. “Rowan will be fine; Aelin knows the male good enough to know his principles and not to cross his lines. They will be fine.”
I huff. “I know.” He takes my hand in his, kissing the top knuckles.
“Then why do you worry?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh, grabbing his hand and set my course to our chambers to wait for night. “I think I’m afraid I’ve crossed a line,” I confess. “What if they don’t want to be exposed? What if this was a pure, loving relationship -And I just crashed the nostalgia?”
Fenrys kisses my cheek, smiling lovingly down at me. “They put up a statue, quite expensive one too might I add, of you and me in a…compromising position up in the queen’s gardens for all to see, just last moon.”
Oh gods. I remember Fenrys’ face when we arrived at the Spring ball, the guests had clustered around the newest statue decorating the fine garden. I had never turned so fast around. “Yeah, I’m not so worried anymore.” We might have lost that battle, but the war is still ongoing.
One.  Two.   Three drops would do it. Putting the vial back in her pocket, Aelin turns to Rowan sitting at her desk. “I talked to Y/n today.”
“Along with Fenrys I take it?”
“Yes, they look quite well, might I add.”
Rowan huff, amused. “That boy follows her around like a pup, I haven’t seen them at training in weeks.”
She smiles, putting the tray on the desk, and taking the seat opposite Rowan as he takes his tea. She had taken the rest of the crackers to serve along with the tea to make it less…obvious. “I think they find other ways to keep in shape.” Rowan turns that piercing stare to meet hers.
“Perhaps we too need to keep in shape, we have been lacking,” his grin shows off his canines. The canines Aelin can feel like a phantom against her neck. They hadn’t been lacking by any means, but she would show him.
“Yes.” And Rowan smirks as he drinks, one, two, three, and the glass is empty.
A knock at the door startles her. “Coming,” she yells.
“We are expecting?”
“Yes. And I need to ask you something.” Another set of knocks, this one harder, from a bigger fist.
“Better be fast, or the people on the other side of the door might break in should they knock any harder,” he says, his voice high for the ones outside the door to hear. Quitting the knocking.
“Are you comfortable answering a couple of questions…honestly?”
Rowan furrows his brows. “When have I not answered honestly?”
“It’s not that, but do you mind?” Already on her way to the door, she turns to watch his answer. Holding her hand at the doorknob.
“No, I don’t.” Lifting his brows, “What have you gotten yourself into now?”
She opens the door in answer.
Fenrys’ hand was stopped in the air, about to knock yet again when the door opened, revealing a very proud Aelin and a confused Rowan at her desk.
We filed in one by one.
Aelin pulls another chair to sit beside Rowan’s but takes a seat across from him, I do the same, leaving Fenrys to sit on the bed to the left along with Elide, I smile at the male in front of me. “We are questioning you.” Which was a fine way to say it.
Rowan keeps his expression calm, “Am I aloud to ask about what?”
I share a look with Aelin who nods, “About your late affairs.”
“You want to ask about Lyria?” he looks to Aelin for answers, raising a brow.
“No,” she grins up at him, “We want to ask about Lorcan.” Rowan’s face consorts into confusion.
“What would Lorcan have to do with my affairs?”
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think.”
And just when Rowan opened his mouth to speak Elide interrupts; “he’s here.” They’ve always had a close bond, seemingly close enough to feel each other’s presence. I look to Fenrys who smiles at me, and I smile back.
 My chair screech as I leave the table to open the door, revealing a sweaty Lorcan, whose eyes find Elide in less than a second. Striding past me towards Elide he says, “I was all the way across the city training the new recruits when I got your letter.” He lay a hand around her neck and pulls her into a kiss, “And you,” he turns to Aelin, pointing, “need to invest in better messengers.” She shrugs.
Sitting back down I point Lorcan to the chair beside Rowan. “Sit.”
“I am not yours to command.”
“Don’t be cross, do as you’re told.” He questions Elide with his gaze, who lets out a small laugh at my words and nods. He sits down.
“We’re to be questioned, hopefully without the usage of…other methods,” Rowan watches Aelin, who has helped herself to the crackers on the tray before them.
“Mmf,” came out of her as she chews, swallowing, “I haven’t fully healed yet since last time I came in contact with such horrid practices.” And the room fills with a tense sort of silence. Lorcan shifts in his seat. Rowan keeps his focus on Aelin, a question in his eyes. But Aelin glances at me, knowing we both share some past we cannot forget.
I glimpse the stars outside her window, shining brighter by the minute. I grin at Aelin, “Let’s start, shall we?”
The chamber is lit up by a singular lantern burning on her desk, casting the room in shadows. Fenrys has moved to seat himself beside me, keeping a hand on my thigh and moving his fingers in circular motions, making me flustered.
Rowan moves to put his forearms on the desk, setting his focus on me. My breathing quickens.
“Do you remember telling Aelin of your affairs?” I question. I keep going as he nods. “Specifically, affairs shared between you and Lorcan?”
“Yes.” Lorcan whirls his head to Rowan who looks a little surprised by his own answer. “You told her about that?” his brows drew together, and he looks to Elide.
“As if you haven’t also.” Rowan comebacks. And I hope he has, because I’m not sure I could live with myself if I caused some stride between anyone because of this. Fenrys, sensing my distress, drags his hands up my thigh, closer to that warm point between my legs. My breath hitches and he lets out a soft laugh, I catch Aelin giving us a small smirk.
“Let’s set some things straight,” Fenrys says, looking only at Rowan, “We know you fucked females together, is that right?”
“Yes,” Rowans voice was a stark contrast to the quiet in the chamber.
“Did the sexual intercourse continue after the departure of the female?”
“Yes.���
And the room goes eerie quiet. The answer to my months long revenge is laid before me.
“Rowan,” Lorcan seethe, looking between all of us, setting his eyes on Elide at last.
But Rowan watches Aelin, “you drugged me,” amusement lighting his eyes. He seemed unaware of the secret let out, proudness shone through his face.
“I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t necessary.”
“And this you call necessary,” his brows lifted, “good to know.”
My chair screech as I stand, laying my palms on the table, eying Rowan and Lorcan. I grin at them. Fenrys follows my lead and I feel his presence behind me, keeping a hand on my lower back. “Everything said in this room will be used against you both as a means to win, and end, this months old war between us. I will proudly take your surrender at present time, should you wish to keep this a secret.”
Lorcan narrows his eyes at me, and I thought Rowan would be the one to surrender first, but as Lorcan shares a look with Elide, I change my mind. “Go ahead.”
“What?”
“Go. Right. Ahead.” His smile is sinister. I look to Elide, who I thought would be at least a little uncomfortable that Lorcan would keep something like this from her, but looking in her eyes right now all I can see is an apology.
“You knew,” I conclude. We wouldn’t have needed to go to such extents if she would have told me.
“I promised to never share with another soul,” her voice is soft, a smile lining her face, “I did try to hint it, albeit secretly.” She looks to Lorcan. “I wanted you to know, since you seemed so set on the idea.”
And my face redden as Aelin barks out a laugh. As everyone seems to laugh. I slide back into my seat, my back slumped as Fenrys lays his hands on my shoulders. Kissing the top of my head, “Now we know, Love. Think you can sleep at night?”
I sigh, “Yes, now bring me the wine.” I wave.
“Your wish is my command,” Aelin says, bringing me a generous glass filled to the brim, it doesn’t take long before I refill.
Rasing my glass I toast, “For Rowan and Lorcan.”
“For Rowan and Lorcan,” echoes through the chamber.
Fixing the wrap, I set the book down on the pillow in the middle of the bed, trying to not ruffle the careful packing. “Do you think they will appreciate it?”
Fenrys laughs, “yes, but if they don’t then know that I do, enough for a lifetime.”
It had been two weeks since the revelation and somewhat truce between us. I still didn’t feel like I had gotten quite the revenge I deserved. It had taken many midnight talks and discussions between me and Fenrys before we came to the conclusion wrapped in a silk dressing on the bed.
“They’ll be back soon,” Fenrys said. At the door I turn around to look at the result, my face brightening. We had already been to Lorcan and Elides bedchambers at the castle, lastly having to sneak into the Queen and consort’s. It had worked out just fine. We had concluded that we didn’t need to announce this to the world to win, but perhaps only to those who looked for it. What better way to ensure this never is forgotten than write it into history. We had done just that.
It had taken some letters and visits, finally I had cashed in a favor, resulting in the rewrite of one of the most popular historical books in Terrasen, who luckily was placed in the Royal library. The two book I had gotten were only two of the few that would be sent out to the other kingdoms. In a century, a small paragraph could be seen on page 874, part 2, detailing the relationship of the Queen of Terrasen’s two favored court members. Taking a last glance at the book, I walk out with Fenrys. Finding our way back to our chambers in a comfortable silence.
Back in our room, I make a move to take of my sweater, feeling clam and hot. “Y/n.” I turn to find Fenrys’ eyes on my face, his pupils dilated. He grabs me by the waist as I lay my arms over his shoulders, pulling into a kiss. Backing until I feel the bed hit the back of my knees. I feel my body heat at the touch of his, the remembrance that he is mine and I am his. Before I can deepen the kiss, he stops, holding his forehead to mine, nose to nose I breathe him in. “I love you, more than you know,” he smiles. I close my eyes, “oh I know.” And we tumble back onto the bed.
. . . . . ╰──╮ ╭──╯ . . . . .
To be added to the Taglists, comment:
All ACOTAR - 🌹
All Azriel - 🥀
All TOG - 🌼
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impishcupid · 2 months ago
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things i didn’t know before starting T- A master post of my own experiences that I didn’t see anywhere else! They might have been out there, I just didn’t see em
1. Bitch U Stank
Your smells not only get stronger, they change. I was a stinky boy during first puberty, but I’ll admit I’m not as stinky in second puberty. That being said, the smells are ABSOLUTELY different. My BO used to smell like weed mixed with onions, now I couldn’t even begin to tell u the smell I got goin on. It IS much easier to control with deodorant this time tho!
That being said, your genitals will also change in smell. Mine began to smell more semen-like (despite using condoms while having sex), as well my feet began smelling different too. This is normal!
2. Hypersexuals be aware, not beware!
Pre-T, I was SUPER hypersexual. Genuinely one of my worries was that I was going to be too horny all the time after T, because it was a problem pre-T. This is both true and false, and if you have an understanding going into it, you’ll be able to have a smoother ride then I did! (Giggity)
I’ve noticed my sexuality follows a solid week-long pattern now. Two to three days after I do my shot, thats when the Dirty Thoughts start a-comin and so do I. The first couple months, however, admittedly sex drive was much higher, but otherwise fairly consistent and manageable. Once you get through the first 6 months, it all evens itself out! Those months, however, are still manageable, believe it or not! You’ll find yourself exploring things you didn’t think you’d be into before, or maybe casually thinking about sex more often, but in my experience it’s not as bad as people make it out to be.
3. Bitch ur DICK
For some reason it never crossed my mind that when I grew my own chia pet penis, I would be uncircumcised. This means that once you have some growth to your dick, you’re going to have to clean it. Gently pull back your hood and get a cleanin’, but don’t make my mistakes! I’ve found a damp piece of toilet paper is the easiest thing to use so far, despite it taking a bit longer.
DO NOT USE Q TIPS THAT SHIT HURTS SO BAD.
you’ll notice that your clitoris has taken a more penile shape, which is fantastic! But if your dick is anything like mine, right under the head you’ll have this bright red little line which is basically the seam connecting the head to the shaft. Proceed with caution here! Our penises are far more sensitive then a cis mans, and this is the area where it shows. This area is typically protected by the hood and head of your dick, so it would make sense to be unbelievably sensitive!
4. Is it covid, or am I becoming a man?
When your voice starts to deepen, and the cracks start coming, you might notice you have a sore throat. This is normal! None of the cis men around me let me know that “hey, yeah your throat is gonna be sore” until I was about 3 covid tests deep and about to go to the doctor. I recommend some tea and honey, or straight up honey, OR whatever your go-to sore throat remedy is!
Additionally on voice, you will still have to train yourself to talk in your new deep voice. Your average day-to-day voice WILL deepen, and you’ll hear from everyone who hasn’t seen you in 3-6 months “omg your voice is so deep now!” (/pos), but if you’re out in public and wondering why people are struggling to correctly assume you’re a man, it might be because you aren’t using your voice as deep as it goes!
(As well, you get a back-up “extra bass” voice, which is FANTASTIC for when people scream at you from a moving vehicle.)
5. Wait, when did my dad grow a beard?
Seeing as both my mom and my dad can grow beards, I figured i’d be smooth sailing and growing a beard rather quickly. Now, almost a year in, I still have one mustache hair named Phil with some darker upper lip, but no facial hair! If you have the access, reach out to your parents or whomever may have this information to get an estimate of what age your father or grandfather started growing facial hair. Turns out my dad couldn’t grow his king luxurious beard until 18!
6. what does it feel like?
do you have medical anxiety? Have you greened out too many times or been on one too many bad trips? Worried that you’ll take testorone and feel some kind of body or mind altering effect? I’ve been there brother!! When you administer your dose, you feel nothing but the needle or gel. I was worried i’d feel wonky in the head, or that it would give me some other effect. The only time I have ever felt a change directly after injections, is when I was late on my dose. Being late on a dose can make you feel depressed, tired, or the time I had a headache for 3 days straight, but about 5-10 minutes after injection I felt my energy bump back up to normal, or i finally had some goddamn peace from that headache, but that’s it! There is nothing to worry about!
And that’s the things I didn’t know going into being on T! I only covered things here that I didn’t see in other “going on T” master lists, so if you’re wondering why the common stuff isn’t here, that’s why! This is absolutely open to other trans men or transmascs to share their experiences on T that they didn’t know going in, and please reblog so pre-T transmascs/trans men can be informed!
Happy trails, brothers!
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lulubelle814 · 5 months ago
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A Marriage of Convenience - Part 2
Part 3
A Marriage of Convenience Masterlist
Main Masterlist
The first test came at an abruptly arranged family dinner. “You would marry in haste? To this secretary? This must be one of your schemes to secure your place as my successor, and I will not stand for it! 
Loki sighed deeply. “I am aware of how this must seem.” His fingers entangled with Eva's on the table. “I assure you. It is not. This is the result of your meddling, your attempt to spy on me. We've grown close over these past few months. I know it seems quick, but we had no desire to wait. Even you can admit that love is not always patient.”
His father scoffed at his words as he watched his son kiss the hand of his new bride. “She is my better half, and I needed to make her mine before she would realize how much better she could do.” 
Frigga laughed a little.  She knew her adopted son had little patience for much of anything, but she could sense there was something not quite right; however, she said nothing, opting to see how this would play out, believing Loki would come to realize he’d met his match.  Yes, Eva was a quiet girl, but Frigga saw a strength deep inside her.  It just needed to be let out, and Loki was the perfect man to do so.
“I wish we could have been at the wedding, but Loki is not known for his patience.  Please, Eva dear, tell me about it?”
Thankfully Eva and Loki had spoken about it, but not in great detail and was both surprised and relieved when Eva answered but didn’t quite stick to the agreed upon story.  “We never said anything at the office.  We didn’t want to bring attention to ourselves, stir up rumors and such.  So we kept it a secret.  He didn’t care for me at first, when Odin first assigned me to Loki, but over time, Loki and I became close.  We’d started dating before we even realized we were doing it, only hanging out as friends at first.  I can’t speak for Loki, but I fell hard and fast.  It was like the missing part of me had finally been found.  A couple of weeks ago, we were walking about on an extended lunch and ended up in front of the courthouse.  Next thing we knew, we signed papers and came out as husband and wife.  I couldn’t be any happier, and I have Odin to thank for it.”
Loki had to keep from choking on his food when she thanked Odin.  That was not something he’d thought of putting in their story, but it was a nice touch.  Reaching over, his hand found hers, fingers intertwining.  “It was like magic.”
Odin turned a few different shades of red as Eva spoke, but when she thanked him for the two getting together, he lost his shit, standing up and storming out.  There was nothing he could do because he was the one pushing Loki to find a wife, and Loki took great pride in this as his father had always given him a hard time.  He’d have to remember to get his fake wife a thank you gift.  
“Don’t mind him.  Business has been crazy lately, and it’s left him quite stressed.  Eva, I don’t see a ring on your finger.  Loki, you have to get that fixed very soon.”  
“I agree, mother.  It was very spur of the moment, and I’d planned on taking my dear Eva to Harry Winston this weekend so she can select the ring she deserves.”  Eva nearly spat out her food.  She’d heard of Harry Winston but didn’t dare think she could ever even afford to step in the store, much less get an engagement ring from there.  She could practically buy a car for what Loki would spend on a ring there!
“I think that is the best place to take her.  You’ll have to let me know what you select.”  The three of them concluded their dinner a few moments later.
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Once in the car and on the way back to Loki’s place, he gave a startling laugh.  “What’s so funny?”  Eva was confused, but Loki continued to laugh.  “I have to thank you, darling girl.  I’ve never seen Odin so angry!  You played your part very well, and I thank you for it.”  He lifted her hand up and kissed her knuckles as he continued to drive, leaving her a bit mystified.  Why would someone want to upset their father that much?
“Loki, why in the world are we going to Harry Winston for rings?  They’re absurdly expensive!”
All he did was smile when responding.  “Because, dear Eva, you deserve the best and should also look the part.  This is part of what we agreed upon.”
“I don’t need some giant, gaudy ring on my finger!”  He patted her thigh.  “Relax, Eva.  When the contract is over, you can keep the ring or sell it.  It’s up to you.”
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There was no arguing with him, and that’s how it remained when he practically dragged her to the Harry Winston store that weekend.  There was one he tried to get her to agree on, but she was adamant it was both too much, and too gaudy.
She looked around, trying to find something they could perhaps agree on until she saw one particular ring.
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“Madam has an excellent eye.  This is part of our bridal couture collection.  This particular one,” he spoke as he pulled out the ring, “has a 5 carat center diamond with 36 pear and round shaped diamonds surrounding it.”
“No, no.  I was just looking.  That’s much too nice for me,” she tried to protest.  The gentleman behind the counter carefully removed the ring from it’s soft pillow and gestured for her to try it on.  “Really, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”  That man was going to be the death of her.  “That ring is perfect for you.”  Loki took the ring from the salesman in one hand and picked up her left hand with his free one, sliding the ring on the fourth finger of her left hand.  “It’s like it was made for you.”  The gentleman behind the counter wholeheartedly agreed.  “It’s a perfect fit.” 
She couldn’t find it in her to disagree with him.  This ring was like something out of a cheesy rom com where the handsome millionaire fell in love with the dog walker.  ‘Holy shit!  That makes me the dog walker!’ She kept that thought to herself.
Before Eva knew it, they were walking out of the store, that ring remaining on her hand while Loki selected a simple platinum band.  “Why do you get the simple ring, and I get this giant one?”
Loki shrugged.  “I’m not much of a jewelry guy, but I couldn’t not wear anything.  And that ring is perfect for this charade.”
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When they arrived into the office Monday morning with a ring on her finger that she swore could be seen from space, the news of their marriage spread like wildfire and ended with the ladies of the office planning a post wedding engagement party, wanting to hear all the details and celebrate her ability to ring in the notoriously emotionally stunted, intransigent man who didn’t believe in marriage.
Little did she know that Loki was receiving similar treatment from the gentlemen in the office; however, he politely told them to mind their own business and fuck off.  Eva wished she could do that.
Dividers by @jiyascepter
Taglist: @vbecker10 @eleniblue
Taglist is open!
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dgknightblue · 29 days ago
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I have this friend dynamic between Nami and Law that probably wouldn’t make sense.
Law gives Nami a “bribe” when it’s actually a gift.
A pair of earrings that she really likes. She doesn’t sell them.
You see it was a form of revenge for something petty she did, he was being petty right back by being a generous and thoughtful bxstxrd.
Nami realized it too late and swore to get back at him. So she pushes Law in embarrassing situations with Kid (she has a feeling Kid is crushing hard).
That’s when it was weeks later…. He offers to give her a bribe for something. She won’t fall for it! She couldn’t sell a gift that a friend had given her.
Even if he says it’s okay to sell it, it is hers after all. That makes her not want to sell it out of spite.
Which is why he smiles at her. She freezes up and glares. He walks forward calmly and tells her what the bribe is for. He holds it out until she takes it.
He shambles a way.
It was a nice gift with a beautiful letter. She rages with tears in her eyes. She’ll make him pay for his kindness. She will make him pay.
Sooo she runs after him to give him a piece of her mind. That’s when she sees him arguing with Kid again. She knows what to do. He freezes when he sees her.
He knows what she’s about to do. She starts to read the letter out loud.
He chases after her to make her stop. She screams that everyone knows he’s a sweetheart now! He screams back and runs off.
Kid looks at her confused. What the hxll was that?
Instead of answering, she just vaguely threatens him if he dares hurt Law’s sweet heart.
Kid is left alone with his confusion.
————
“Nami, why the Fxck would you go and do that?”
“Because I know if you were half this nice to other people as you are to me, you’d get more admirers- at least ones with courage to ask you out.”
“I don’t get admirers, I’m a ruthless pirate in a submarine. No one sees me.”
“They will now!”
Law groans with his book over his head. Leaning against Robin as she reads her book. It’s book club and they’re waiting for the other members.
He gave the straw hats his Den den mushi number for emergencies but they mostly use it to catch up (well Luffy uses it the most to tell him what they’re doing and ‘apparently I’m a god now’ at 3 at night).
So they started having book club whenever they’re staying on an island for a couple of days and near by.
“At least it’s not like when your crew admitted to running interference to admirers that only saw the surface level you.”
“I told them not to coddle me! I’m literally an adult and their captain. So what if I have the least amount of experience than they do? I can kiss whoever I want!…. Who did you say was Luffy’s first kiss was?”
“Sanji’s sister.”
“…how did he handle that?”
“We never told him.”
“Dxmn he’s going to have a heart attack.”
“Going to be on standby?”, Nami snorted.
“Nah, I’ll leave it to Dr. chopper.”
“Oh, but the way. How did the rectum exam for the boys go?”
“They ran and hide like cowards. Dr. Chopper will not be able to learn if he doesn’t get hands on experience. The least they could do is help. Though I’m not sure they’d want heavy point Dr. Chopper poking around with his big hands.”
Nami makes a grossed out face. Robin chuckles.
“Have you ever done your own exam?”
“…..sigh… unfortunately yes. I only do so once a year on any island with a doctor qualified. So really, just do it once and they won’t have to worry for the rest of the year!”
“What can I say, it’s not an easy thing to feel, I imagine.”
“You can say that again.”
Anyways, Law’s either going to book club; girls night/ guys night; or fighting Kid. Why does he keep showing up? He never gave him his den den mushi number, so how does he know where he is?
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sequinsmile-x · 11 months ago
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Hold On To You
It's New Year's Eve, Emily is overdue, and they are going to Dave's house for his annual party. What could possibly go wrong?
-x-
Hi friends!
Happy New Year!! This is a fic based on a prompt I got asking for something where Emily is overdue and goes into labour at Dave's house at New Year's.
As always, I got entirely carried away and this is just shy of 5k words.
I really hope you enjoy this and that you have a good New Year. I just wanted to take the chance to say thank you for all the comments, kudos, likes and reblogs this year - it truly means the world that my writing means something to people.
Here's to another year of me putting these idiots in just about every situation <3
For the last time in 2023, please let me know what you think <3
-x-
Warnings: Pregnancy, Labour, cursing (but who can blame Emily, she's having a baby on her friend's couch)
Words: 4.8k
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
“We don’t have to go, sweetheart.” 
She rolls her eyes at her husband, something he misses entirely because he’s kneeling on the floor in front of her, dutifully tying her shoes with so much care and attention she doesn’t know whether to yell at him or kiss him. She rubs a circle on her belly, shifting on the couch in a failed attempt to get comfortable, something she’d been unable to do for months. 
“We should go,” she says, grunting at a particularly hard kick against her ribs, “Jack is excited to hang out with Henry, and he keeps saying he’ll make it to midnight this year.” 
It was Dave’s annual New Year's Eve party and whilst the idea of getting dressed up and spending her evening anywhere other than home was the last thing Emily wanted to do, she didn’t want to let Jack down. He was, at most, days away from being a big brother, and the last thing she wanted to do was make any potential resentment toward his new sibling start before they were even born. Jack’s initial reaction to finding out Emily was pregnant was less than ideal, his concerns that she would love the baby more than she loved him causing him to act out, to say things he immediately regretted and apologised for. Whilst that was months ago, it was something she still worried about, a seed in the back of her mind that had planted and bloomed, making her almost go out of her way to make sure Jack felt like a part of all of this. 
Aaron smiles up at her as he double loops the laces on her sneakers, “I think we both know he’ll be asleep in one of Dave’s spare rooms by 11 pm,” he stands up and sits next to her on the couch, looping one arm around her shoulders and resting his other hand on her bump, “You know he’d understand, Em.” 
She hums and rests her head on his shoulder, “I know, but we should still go,” she says, smiling when she feels the baby move, “Besides, if we stop going to things because I’m massively pregnant we’ll never go to anything again - I don’t think Pickle is ever coming out.” 
He can’t help but hide a smile in her hair at the use of the baby’s nickname, something that their actual name would soon replace. Whilst Aaron would have liked to have found out whether they were having a boy or a girl, Emily had insisted that they waited - wanting nothing more than to find out when her baby was passed to her, a well-earned surprise at the end of a long journey. He let her have the final call, knowing her opinion well outweighed his in matters like this, and instead, they’d settled on a nickname. 
Despite usually hating them, always pulling them out of burgers and handing them to him, she’d been craving pickles since the moment her nausea had stopped at the start of her second trimester. Their fridge was full of jars of them since she now had them with every meal, no matter how strange the combination, so naming their unborn child ‘Pickle’ made sense. 
“Only a couple more days to go until they induce you,” he says, kissing the top of her head, and she pulls back to look at him, her eyes narrowing. She was overdue by almost a week now and she was furious about it, her anger driving her to tears most nights as she struggled to get comfortable enough to sleep. Exhaustion and the almost primal need to hold her baby making her irritable. 
“No more ‘only a couple more days’ talk unless you’re the one with a baby pressing on your organs,” she says, and he nods, swallowing thickly, and she huffs out a short breath, “I don’t remember how it feels to breathe deeply.” 
“Of course,” he says, kissing her cheek, “Sorry, sweetheart.” 
She grimaces as pain washes over her, her belly briefly tight with it and she curses as she squeezes his hand, “Fucking practice contractions,” she grumbles, squeezing his hand tighter until the pain passes, “I’ve been having them all damn day,” she blows out a breath as it passes, “I swear to God if Spencer says something about them being ‘mild’ again I’m going to kill him.” 
Aaron clears his throat to cover a laugh, knowing it would do nothing short of getting him in trouble, and he rubs a soothing circle on her stomach as the tightness eases, “I don’t think he’ll ever say anything to you about pregnancy again after you made him cry last time.” 
She rolls her eyes, “I didn’t make him cry,” she denies, even though she knows she had, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she remembers the conversation in question, “And anyway, he should never have called me a geriatric mother.” 
Jack comes bursting into the room before Aaron can say anything, the young boy's excitement palpable as he bounces on his feet in front of them. 
“Are we ready to go?” He asks, and Aaron nods, standing up and chuckling as he ruffles his son’s hair and he tries to dive out of the way. 
“We’re ready, Jack,” he says, digging his car keys out of his pocket and passing them over to him, “Why don’t you go wait in the car - we’ll be out in a minute.” 
Jack nods enthusiastically and runs out of the room, the sound of the front door being pulled open following shortly after. 
“You’re going to need to help me up,” Emily grumbles, smiling softly when she spots Aaron is already holding his hand out to her, “Thanks, honey.” 
She groans as she stands up, only letting go of Aaron’s hand when she’s up as straight as she can be there days. She winces as she presses her hands into her lower back, the ache more persistent than usual, and Aaron looks at her, his brows furrowed.
“You okay, sweetheart?” 
She nods, her lips pressed together as she shifts back and forth on her feet to ease some of the pressure, “I’m fine,” she says, looking down at her outfit and sighing, plucking at the dark green material of her dress, “I look like a blimp in a dress, but I’m fine.” 
He smiles and kisses her, his hand on her cheek as he holds her in place for a moment before he pulls back, “You look beautiful.” 
She hums and shakes her head at him, “You’re a liar, Aaron Hotchner,” she says, stamping her lips against his to stop him from arguing with her, “But I love you for it.” 
She groans quietly as she follows him out of the house, her waddle slowing her down in a way she hadn’t known was possible, the ache in her back not diminishing at all. She runs her hand up and down her bump. 
“Come on Pickle,” she mutters to her baby, unable to stop herself from smiling when she feels a kick that feels like a response, “Let’s go sit on a couch in Uncle Dave’s house for a change of scenery.” 
___
She smiles and listens and laughs at the right moments, but she can’t say she’s enjoying herself. She’s uncomfortable in a way she didn’t know was possible, unable to find any relief at all as she consistently shifts back and forth on the couch. Aaron, whose endless patience for her only seems to irritate her more in a way she knows he doesn’t deserve, goes out of his way to make her as comfortable as possible. He brings her pillows from one of Dave’s bedrooms, positioning them behind her back because he knows it’s better than the cushions from the couch itself, and he gets her whatever food she can stomach. 
She grimaces as another practice contraction starts to build, her grip on Aaron’s knee night as she places her hand there, and the only thing she can think is that she’s incredibly grateful Jack and Henry are in another room playing. 
“Are you okay, Em?” JJ asks, her eyebrows furrowed as she looks at her. Emily grits her teeth and nods, blowing out a slow breath as the pain reaches its peak. 
“I’m fine,” she says, smiling tightly as Aaron places his hand over hers on her knee, “It’s just Braxton Hicks,” she says, her body relaxing as the contraction passes, “I’ve been having them all day.”
“Are…are you sure they are Braxton Hicks?” Spencer asks, looking slightly nervous as everyone looks over at him. He clears his throat before continuing, “Only, they aren’t usually in a pattern. And when you got here they were 12 minutes apart and now they are closer to 7.”
“You’ve been timing her contractions?” Derek asks, frowning at Spencer, “That’s a little weird, Reid. Even for you.”
“It’s a pattern,” Spencer says, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m good at recognising patterns,” he looks back at Emily and cowers slightly under her glare, “I’m just saying, are you sure you’re not in labour?”
She scoffs and shakes her head, pressing her hand into her bump, “I’m not in labour,” she says, the denial sounding weak even to her own ears, and she turns to look at Aaron, “I’d know if I was in labour or not, right?” 
Aaron links his fingers through hers and squeezes her hand reassuringly. As worried as he was, especially because he had a feeling Spencer could be right, he knew this was not the time for him to freak out. He had to be there for his wife. 
“Do you think you could be?” He asks, ignoring the presence of their friends, all of his focus on her, on the way he could see her already frayed nerves coming even more unravelled. 
“I…don’t think I am-” she says, cutting herself off as she looks down at her lap, grimacing at the wet feeling between her legs, “Okay, I definitely am in labour,” she says, sounding much calmer than she feels as she looks back up at Aaron, “My water just broke.” 
“Are you sure?” He asks, looking her up and down. He’s aware of how their friends spring into action, how all of them stand up, but his focus is still on her. 
“Well, either that or I just peed myself on Dave’s couch.” 
“That couch is made of Italian leather,” Dave complains, taking a step back as Emily looks sharply at him, her glare followed by everyone else's, and he nods to himself, “It’s fine, it can be wipe cleaned.” 
Aaron makes sure his stern gaze is fixed on his friend for a beat longer than necessary before he looks back at his wife, “We’ll get you to the hospital, okay?” 
She nods, but her response is cut off as another contraction rolls through her, making her yell out as she grasps his hand, her nails digging into his skin, “Holy shit this one hurts.” 
“That wasn’t seven minutes,” Penelope says, wide-eyed as she looks back at Spencer, “I thought you said you were timing them.”
“I was,” he says, close to stuttering, “But maybe she’s having a precipitous labour,” he says, rolling his eyes when everyone except Aaron looks at him like he’s insane, “A fast labour. It comes on quickly. There are risk factors, including giving birth in an unsterilised environment-” 
“God I regret letting you read my pregnancy books on the jet,” Emily breathes out, cutting him off before he can carry on, her teeth clenched as the contraction barely lets up before she starts to have another one, “Fuck I’m having another one.” 
She rests her head against Aaron’s shoulder, her hands in tight fists around his shirt, and she desperately tries to breathe through it. Everything around her except the pain and him disappears. She’s vaguely aware of Aaron telling Dave to call an ambulance and asking JJ to go get some towels. He then turns his attention back to her, soft words of reassurance against her ear as she grunts. She pulls back to look at him and she’s grateful for how calm he seems, some of her panic eased by the way he looks at her. A sense of serenity that briefly makes her forget she was in what felt like advanced labour on their friend's couch. 
“We need to go,” she chokes out, shaking her head as he holds her steady where she’s sitting, stopping her from standing up, “We need to get to the hospital.” 
“Dave is calling for an ambulance, sweetheart,” Aaron says, cupping her cheek, wiping away tears she hadn’t realised had fallen, “I don’t want to risk getting stuck in traffic with you in this much pain, okay?” 
She hears what he hasn’t said, that this is happening too quickly. That if he was able to get her up, something she wasn’t entirely sure was possible even though she’d tried to stand, it was unlikely he’d get her all the way to the car. Even if he did, there was every chance she wouldn’t make it to the hospital. 
She whimpers, a sound she hates, as she shakes her head at him again, the pain rolling through her unrelenting, “I can’t have a baby here,” she says, “This wasn’t the birth plan. I was meant to be in the hospital, with painkillers and an epidural,” she groans in pain, looking past Aaron to see their friends still just standing there, “And it was meant to just be us.” 
Aaron’s heart fractures in his chest at how vulnerable she sounds. It was something he knew she’d hate, especially in front of their friends, so he knows he has to do something - that he has to give her back some semblance of control of a situation that had rapidly gotten out of their hands. He turns to look at his friends, his expression stern, hoping he leaves no room for argument.
“All of you need to get out of here now,” he says, watching how Derek and Penelope frown, the latter already stepping closer to them, “She doesn’t need an audience for this, so please go keep the kids company, make sure Jack isn’t worried, but get out of here.” They nod and start to leave but he stops them, “Reid, don’t go too far, just stay on the other side of the door, in case we need your help.” 
Spencer nods and follows the others out, pulling the door behind him until it was mostly closed, leaving just a small gap he could talk through if necessary. 
Aaron turns back to Emily and smiles in a way he hopes is encouraging, “See, it’s just us now, okay, baby?” He says and she nods, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she tries to stop herself from yelling out in pain again, tears streaming down her cheeks with the effort. 
“The ambulance is on the way but they said it might take some time,” Dave says through the crack in the door, “They said to examine her and if the baby does come to clear its airways and leave the-”
Aaron can see how every word Dave is saying is making Emily feel worse, the shock setting in on top of the pain she was in, so he cuts him off, even though he knows he’s just trying to help. 
“Thanks, Dave,” he says, his tone of voice making his feelings clear, “Go wait with the others, keep an eye out for the ambulance.” 
There’s a brief pause before Dave replies, JJ’s voice quiet in the background as she talks to him, “The towels are just inside the door for you.” 
Emily looks over at the soft, white, towels that JJ had placed on the floor for them and she groans, “God, we’re going to spend a fortune replacing those towels for Dave.”
“I think he can afford to replace them himself,” Aaron chuckles, his relief at a small flash of his wife peeking through from underneath her fear nothing short of palpable. He kisses her forehead, “I’ll get them, I’ll be right back.” 
She nods, unable to say anything as the relentless pain makes her feel nauseous. She places her hands on her stomach and tries to breathe, “I know I kept saying you needed to get out of there, kid,” she says, choking on a laugh, “But this isn’t what I meant.” 
Aaron walks over to the door and picks up the towels and he looks through the crack in the door. He’s grateful that the only person outside the room is Spencer, who is sitting on the floor, his back to the door, patiently waiting to help if he is needed. 
Aaron turns back to look at his wife, frowning when he sees she’s trying to lean down, her fingers grasping for the laces on her shoes that he’d tied so neatly earlier. 
“What are you doing, Em?” He asks, rushing back over and placing the towels on the arm of the chair. He puts his hand on her leg and stops her, taking over undoing her shoes for her. 
“I didn’t want to get my shoes on Dave’s couch,” she says, reaching out and grasping the sleeve of Aaron’s shirt as the pain gets worse, “Fuck,” she closes her eyes, shaking her head as she feels a lot of pressure, “I think I need to push.” 
“I think this couch is about to have a lot worse than your shoes on it,” Aaron replies, making quick work of taking her other shoe off too, letting them fall to the floor without worrying about tidying them up. He helps her so she’s lying on the couch and he’s sitting between her legs. He shifts so his hand is on her knee, squeezing it so she looks at him, “We need to get your underwear off, okay?” 
She wants to say no, wants to refuse, but she knows she can’t. She knew this baby was coming here and now, the urge to push making her entire body so tense she thought she could shatter into a million pieces. She nods and lifts her hips, letting him pull the material down her legs. 
He stuffs her underwear into his pocket, not wanting her to feel any more exposed than she already would if their friends were to walk in and see her underwear on the floor. He looks up at her when he hears her laugh, a curious look on his face as he tilts his head. 
“I think you did that the night we ended up in this mess,” she says, her hand on her stomach as she nods towards his pocket, “Although I seem to remember that underwear being sexy and not big enough to cover the Potomac.” 
He shakes his head at her and squeezes her knee again, “You look sexy in anything,” he winks at her and she tries to glare at him but it’s lost as a sound that he can only describe as animalistic comes out of her. He remembers that sound, and it briefly pulls him back to when Haley was having Jack. It feels like it happened to a different person, like he was no longer the man who had stood next to Haley’s side and held her hand as she gave birth to their son. He guessed on some level he wasn’t the same man he was different, and he liked to think he was better, “I’m just going to have a look, okay.” 
She nods, stopping him for a moment with a hand on his arm, “Promise me whatever you see down there you’re still going to want to have sex with me after this.” 
He leans in and stamps a kiss against her lips, “Nothing is ever going to stop me wanting to have sex with you, Em.” 
“You guys know I’m still out here, right?” Spencer asks, his voice breaking through the unlikely sanctuary they’d built in Dave’s living room, and they both look at the door sharply. 
“Reid.”
“Spencer.” 
They chastise simultaneously, their only answer silence, and then they look back at each other, and Emily nods, giving Aaron the go-ahead. He pushes her dress up to her hips and pushes her knees apart, blowing out a steady breath before he looks back up at her, hoping he’s been able to cover his own turbulent emotions to his already terrified wife. 
“I can see the head.” 
Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head, her trembling lips pressed together, “No it can’t be…” she drifts off, her head falling back against the couch cushions behind her and she screams, unable to keep it in any longer, “Fuck I think I need to push.” 
“Then you should push, sweetheart,” he says, “The baby is already on the way.” 
She swears that she feels her body take over, the immense pressure and pain forcing her to push even if she didn’t want to. She groans as she falls back, Spencer’s instructions from the other side of the door to slow down when the head comes out just about registering. 
“This sucks,” she says, her breath catching in her chest, her entire body on fire, “This sucks so fucking much.”
“You’re so close, Em,” Aaron says, his eyes fixed on the dark hair on their baby’s head, “So close.”
“That’s easy for you to say you asshole,” she says, outright calling him a name for the first time since this had all started, “You’re not the one giving birth in our friend's living room.” Instead of replying, Aaron takes her hand and places it on the baby’s head, watching as any anger or frustration melts away, her fingers shaking as she touches the baby’s hair, “Oh my God, that’s our baby’s head,” she says, looking up at him, her eyes shining, “That’s Pickle’s head.” 
Aaron nods, leaning in and pressing his forehead against hers, gladly passing her some of his strength, knowing he’d give her all of it if she asked. 
“You’re so close, Em,” he says again, the words actually encouraging this time, and he pulls away, taking his position back in between her legs, “Just one more push.”
She nods and sucks in a breath, bearing down with more strength than she thought she had as she lets out one final scream. She feels her baby slip into the world and Aaron’s waiting hands, and she gasps, the sensation followed by the longest moment of silence in her life. Then the baby cries, loud and squawking and totally furious to be born. Aaron clears the baby’s airways and he lets out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob as he looks up at his wife. 
“It’s a boy,” he says, looking back down at his son as he passes him over to Emily, her hands shaking as she takes the baby. 
“It’s a boy?” She asks in disbelief, her eyes fixed on her little boy, her son as she holds him to her, “We have a son,” she looks at Aaron, laughing through the tears that fall onto her cheeks, “Holy shit we have another little boy.”
“No cursing in front of him,” Aaron says, laying a towel over the still crying baby before he shifts to sit behind his wife, enjoying a moment with her and their newborn son before he has to worry about the next stage of all of this. 
“He’s literally two minutes old, honey,” she says resting on Aaron as he sits behind her, “He doesn’t even know where he is, let alone what a curse word is,” she stares at her little boy. He was bright red, his dark hair was glued down to his skin by god knows what, but he was beautiful, “He’s perfect.” 
Aaron kisses the side of her head, “Just like his Mommy,” he says, “I love you.”
She turns to look at him, her eyes shining with love and joy, “I love you too.”
There’s a soft knock on the door, drawing their attention away from each other, Dave’s voice breaking through the little bubble they’d created even though he remains on the other side of the door, “The ambulance is here, JJ is just showing them in now.” 
Aaron squeezes Emily closer, the way she tenses at the mention of other people, her eyes still fixed on the baby on her chest, and he runs his hand up and down her arm, “Thanks, Dave. Can you make sure-”
“Everyone is on the other side of the house with a strict instruction not to come over here until you’re gone.” 
Emily hums, almost talking to herself when she speaks, “I wonder what he had to bribe Pen with to agree to that.” 
“A case of my finest French wine, Bella,” he says, and they both know exactly what smile he has on his face even though they can’t see, “So it’s the couch, the towels and the wine that you owe me now.” 
She knows he’s joking, knows that he’d have given anything to help them through this, so all she does is lean in further to her husband's side as the door is pushed open and the EMTs walk in alone. 
“You can have anything you want, Dave,” she says, stroking her finger up and down her son’s soft cheek, “I have everything I need.” 
___
She’d never experienced peace at a hospital. 
It was always a place of trauma, of grief, but as she looked down at her son’s face as he slept against her, tucked in under her hospital gown, peace was the only word that seemed right. 
“How are you two doing?”
She smiles as she looks up at her husband, who was standing in the doorway having popped out in the hallway to make a couple of calls, the unrelenting joy on his face something she knew was reflected in her own. 
“We’re okay,” she says quietly as Aaron walks over, carefully joining her on the bed. She secures the baby against her as she shifts to allow her husband to sneak in behind her. She winces as she settles against him, offering him a smile as worry flashes across his face, “I’m okay, just very sore,” she scrunches her nose up as she tries to get comfortable, “Getting those stitches was not fun.” 
Once the EMTs had cut the chord and helped Emily deliver the placenta they’d brought them all to the hospital. JJ had agreed to take Jack home for the night, the little boy thankfully very agreeable despite his excitement at his sibling being born. Emily knew she’d be here for a couple of days, the quick labour and delivery meant the doctors wanted to keep an eye on her and the baby, and she was grateful for it - the residual fear that something was wrong even though her son had passed all of his tests with flying colours not quite leaving her alone. 
“Jack is already asleep,” Aaron says, “He and Henry are having a sleepover and the team is raising a glass to us all at midnight.” 
She hums contentedly, “As much as today was not what I wanted,” she says, tearing her eyes away from her son to look at Aaron, “I’m grateful for them,” she smiles softly, “And for the fact they respected our wishes.” 
“I would have barricaded the door if that’s what it took,” he says seriously and she kisses his jaw, pressing her love for him into his skin. The baby cries out and they both turn to look at him, Emily’s soft shushing and her lips against the top of his head enough to quieten him down, “We need a name for this little guy, I don’t think he’d thank us for calling him Pickle in about 15 years,” Aaron says, placing his hand on his son’s back, linking his fingers through Emily’s, “I think the boy name we had picked out works perfectly, don’t you?”
She studies her son’s face, desperate to log every little bit of it to her memory, well aware that these early days that felt long as they were happening would go far too quickly. She smiles and nods, trailing her knuckle softly down the baby’s cheek. 
“It’s perfect,” she says, shifting to kiss her son’s forehead, “Hi Hugo,” she says softly, tears she couldn’t explain if she wanted to gathering in her eyes, “Welcome to the world.” 
A cheer from the nurse's station, muffled by the closed door, draws their attention away from Hugo, and Aaron smiles as he checks his watch. 
“Happy New Year, sweetheart.” 
She smiles and leans in to kiss him, well aware this would be her favourite year yet, “Happy New Year, honey.” 
-x-
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hannigramislife · 1 year ago
Text
#4 Scene of my Random Mdzs Fanfiction
Prompt: What if 3zun reincarnated in modern au?
Scene: Lan Xichen remembers the past, and tears both Nmj and Jgy a new one.
Walking towards Nie Mingjue’s office, Jin Guangyao had a sinking feeling of dread settled in his gut, and it was growing by the second. He hadn’t heard from Lan Xichen in over a week, all his texts and calls having gone unanswered, which was unusual, as Lan Xichen took only a couple of minutes to reply. Jin Guangyao thought he had been grateful for the opportunity to have Lan Xichen back in his life, but now that he didn’t wake up to good morning texts, and didn’t receive random pictures during the day with Lan Xichen’s humorous captions, Jin Guangyao realized he hadn’t appreciated them enough. Only a week, and he felt Lan Xichen’s absence like a limb. If something had happened to him, Jin Guangyao would never forgive himself.
Going to Nie Mingjue for help had been something of a last resort; Jin Guangyao didn’t trust the man, wouldn’t turn his back on him if the gang leader had both his arms broken and tied behind his back. He was much more volatile than Jin Guangyao remembered him to be, and he could no longer be trusted not to go too fucking far. Lan Xichen was a bleeding heart with a strong sense of justice; how long until he got in Nie Mingjue’s way. How sure could Jin Guangyao be that this Nie Mingjue wouldn’t harm him?
If Nie Mingjue had something to do with his disappearance, Jin Guangyao would kill him, no questions asked. Even if it was the last thing he did in this life, he’d kill him.
If not, then he’d made the right choice in going to him, and if Jin Guangyao had to beg Nie Mingjue on his knees to help him find Lan Xichen, then so be it.
Lan Xichen was worth it. He had always been worth it.
Once he neared the man’s office, Jin Guangyao heard faint voices coming from the small room, its door ajar. Curious and immediately on edge, he made his steps as light as possible, pressing close to the wall.
“…alm down for fuck’s sake, so we can tal-“
“Calm down?!”
Jin Guangyao almost felt his heart stop at hearing Lan Xichen’s enraged voice echo through the room.
“You want me to calm down, da-ge? You want to talk to me now, don’t you? Well, what shall we talk about first? Wanna talk to me about what the Jins are doing? Want to talk to me about how I had to wait for hours to talk to you 3 days ago because you were busy bleeding out in a hospital bed? Or, my personal favorite; when were you going to tell me I was regularly having coffee with the man who killed you, hm?”
Jin Guangyao felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on him. His heart thumped wildly in his chest as his mind processed the words Lan Xichen had screamed. Too many emotions whirled inside him for him to make sense of them all; shock, joy, sadness, fear, anger, regret— and stronger than them all, desperation.
Desperation to prove to Lan Xichen that he wasn’t the same person, that he wanted nothing more than to be a man that could stand by Lan Xichen’s side proudly. He wanted to beg for a second chance, an opportunity to be better. Other people could do it easily, why couldn’t Jin Guangyao?
It took a moment for Jin Guangyao to realize that Nie Mingjue had gone suspiciously quiet.
He only had time to blink, and lean back slightly, before the door was flung open, and Jin Guangyao found himself facing a very tall, very intimidating, very shirtless-while-wrapped-up-in-bandages Nie Mingjue.
“It seems this conversation is no longer private.” He said as he stared down at Jin Guangyao, crossing his arms in disapproval, shifting the suit jacket he had thrown over his shoulder.
No. Bad brain. Not the time.
Jin Guangyao swallowed painfully, keeping his eyes on Nie Mingjue, if only so he didn’t have to face Lan Xichen. “For a private conversation, you sure are loud. And the door is open.”
The gang leader snorted, before pulling Jin Guangyao in.
Jin Guangyao stumbled in as Nie Mingjue closed the door firmly; with his only exit closed, Jin Guangyao had little to do but face his friend, his former sworn brother. Hesitantly, he locked gazes with Lan Xichen, and was taken aback by the emotions he saw in them. The shock he had anticipated, once Lan Xichen remembered, the heartbroken pain, too, because Lan Xichen had always been so honest in his feelings, but the anger- the anger was new.
Lan Xichen was facing them both, eyes shifting from Jin Guangyao’s curled in figure, to Nie Mingjue standing tall behind him.
Lan Xichen was indeed angry. More than that, he was furious.
“Er-ge,” Jin Guangyao started, for once unable to find the right words to say.
Apparently, that wasn’t important, as Lan Xichen wasn’t planning to let him talk. “Was it fun?” The man cut him off, voice shaking from a kind of emotion he had never seen in him. “Tell me, was it fun? Leading me around by the nose again, pretending to be my friend?”
Jin Guangyao wished Lan Xichen had just punched him instead; it would have hurt less.
“No, no, Er-ge, it wasn’t like that—“
“Was it amusing for you, seeing me fall for the same act twice? What was your plan this time, A-Yao, were you waiting for my memories to return, or was a nice, dramatic reveal what you had planned?”
There was a time Jin Guangyao had seen, and caused, many lives to be destroyed, many suffering in people, even those who had been closest to him, and he’d done so without so much as batting an eyelash. And yet, Lan Xichen’s cruel words were enough to make him want to sob— and Jin Guangyao had heard his fair share of cruel words.
“I wouldn’t— I woudn’t do that to you, Er-ge. I would never hurt you like that.” Jin Guangyao said desperately, wanting Lan Xichen to believe that, if nothing else.
“You wouldn’t do what, Jin Guangyao. Wouldn’t do exactly what you did last time?” Lan Xichen was trembling with badly concealed rage, though he never raised his voice.
Jin Guangyao’s mouth clamped up, his words failing him. Lan Xichen wasn’t listening, he didn’t look like he planned to listen anytime soon, and there was nothing Jin Guangyao could say that wouldn’t come off as fake, manipulative.
In their few weeks of ignorant bliss they’d shared together, Jin Guangyao had forgotten what the events in Guanyin temple had reduced him to in the eyes of his Er-ge. Every word was now open to doubt and suspicion, every smile was fake and planned, every touch meant to draw out trust.
Lan Xichen had no naivety left to give Jin Guangyao, this time.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. Besides him, Nie Mingjue tensed, and Jin Guangyao didn’t know if that was a good sign or not. “I’m sorry, Er-ge.”
Lan Xichen blinked in disbelief, before letting out a slight scoff; another thing Jin Guangyao had never seen him do. He had the uncomfortable realization that, like Nie Mingjue, like himself, this Lan Xichen was also different.
“You’re sorry,” Lan Xichen repeated, voice hard as steel. “Isn’t that a bit too little, too late, A-Yao? A couple of centuries, maybe? What am I supposed to forgive you for? You didn’t hurt me, after all. No, that’s the one line you wouldn’t cross.”
Lan Xichen was, indeed, much different. His words cut deeper than his sword ever did. It had been foolish to hold onto a man that hadn’t existed in centuries.
Or maybe, his mind whispered, this is the same Lan Xichen, and that’s just what he would have always thought about you, had he known the truth.
Sometimes, A-Yao didn’t like his own mind.
"That's not what I'm talking about," Jin Guangyao said, struggling to keep his voice even. "I meant this life, our friendship. I didn't mean to hurt you by getting close to you. I assumed you would not remember."
Lan Xichen took a deep breath. "How is it," he said, "that the only way you can be close to me is when you keep me blind?"
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gimmiesomehoneynsugar · 1 year ago
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It Lead to this
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Info Rocket/Gn Reader Refrence to smut, word count 1180
(Hi! I made a promise to make gender neutral versions of my stories and here you chapter 1 of my first chapter length fic Enjoy!)
You wake up with blurry eyes, stiff muscles and a warm fuzzy ball beside you oh wait, that's Rocket, you stayed over after the celebration last night over the high evolutionary being defeated and freeing all the victims. This happens between you too much, hence you’ve got a couple of spare clothes now at his place as well as your toothbrush.
Your arms are still wrapped around his bare furry back so warm beside your skin, speaking of skin you didn’t put a shirt on after the spicy event of Rocket dragging you away from the party and having your little celebration. Have you ever seen him so peaceful other than now with his tormentors no longer able to harm him, never even in his sleep he seemed stressed.
You slowly move your arms away from him covering him back up with the doona, you grab a spare graphic shirt, slowly putting it on as Rocket softly wakes up, but you're too busy trying to find your socks n shoes to notice his eyes sluggishly opening.
He quickly shuts his eyes again just before you reach over to kiss his forehead as a quiet goodbye, you had work today and we’re not in the mood to hear any bullshit from your boss. Grabbing your bag and phone you walk out of his room into the hallway and just as you're about to open the door, Groot says your name as well as Adam yawns next to him, both looking as haggard as you.
“Hey.. good morning sorry if you heard stuff..,” you said sheepishly with your hand inches away from you opening the door.
“I am Groot?”(you don’t usually leave this early?) he questioned you leaning his shoulder on the hallway wall.
“Yeah, what the tree man said,” Adam agreed, not knowing much about you other than your Rocket’s sneaky link.
“Yeah… I’ve got work and I’m not a fan of my boss bitching about me being two hours late. I've already had to do overtime and I’m not in the mood for that,” You claimed, now leaning your back on the door.
“I am Groot,”(Yes but I’ve seen you eat breakfast here saying this is worth more than your Bitchy job and that bitch of a boss, tell me why change?) he asked while slightly smirking.
You’ve been keeping this in for a while and now feels like a better time before you change more.“Uh well.. I’m trying to distance myself from Rocket and I uh.. see this as a silent painless way,” you said while scratching the back of your head looking away.
Both Groot and Adam are in shock, Groot gasping as Adam covers his mouth with his jaw dropped.
“I am Groot!”(But why, you both seemed to be getting closer these past couple of months, I thought it’d be any day now you’d be dating, why!?) he asked with a shocked sense of curiosity all while Adam crouched down in absolute shock now his hands holding his head.
“Well I do like Rocket, sure but he’s clearly said before that he's not interested in a more serious relationship, and is busy with the management of all the animals,” you said now avoiding eye contact with Groot rubbing your shoulder.
*— — — *
Your mind retraces back to last night's enormous party. Confetti, drinks, music and what I could tell more than a hundred neighbours and friends celebrating, you’ve had this question on your mind for a while, it has been a couple of months since you both became infatuated with each other.
At least twice a week Rocket and you would sneak away going on little dates, shopping, restaurants and bars. Or just hours together enjoying each other's affection like teenagers. It felt like you were dating but he never expressed if you guys were a couple or not even after drowning you in his gifts, verbal and physical affection. It honestly just confused you even more.
You’d have had enough of his vagueness and needed to put a label on this relationship if not you would've gone mad, just before Rocket walks into the bar with the rest of his family, you quickly tap his shoulder coaxing him into the ally way before anyone notices you both vanished.
“You okay doll?” he questioned you with an energised grin on his face.
“Rocket, I’ll just say this… what are we?” you asked bluntly not wanting to beat around the bush anymore, crouching down to his height with such dread not wanting to ruin the one good thing in your life.
“What, what do you mean?” his smile dropped and now he was just confused at your out-of-nowhere question, it honestly made him more nervous than it should.
“This Rocket, us what are we, are we dating or just fuck buddies, I’d just like to put a label on this before we go further,” you said as your body felt like it was sinking in your anxiety.
“What we are just fuck buddies, we never went far with affection,” he proclaimed looking away, your heart sank hearing such words.
“Really?! you don’t see what I see?, the constant verbal affection, the dates the gifts the overwhelming love you shower me with, I don’t mind staying as we are now but I feel like it’s becoming more than just ‘fuck buddies’, I don't want to get attached Rocket.” You spoke, tears swell in your eyes, you felt like you were drowning in hopelessness and anxiety of losing the one good thing keeping you sane.
He’s a bit shocked by your reply, as he is about to give a comeback to deny any of this. Still, he remembers doing all those things, he remembers the gifts he saw in the plaza thinking they would look great on you, he remembers calling you in the middle of the night just because he saw a star that reminded him of you. Something more was going on with his actions but he didn’t know how to put it in words to you, all he knew was that when you were next to him, he still missed you. But with new emotions and newer actions became more panic for him.
“Look doll, I also like what we have going on but, I’m just busy right now and I can’t afford to have a more serious relationship. For tomorrow on I have to deal with over 100 animals and figure out where they go on this freakin skull,” He said sheepishly trying to talk in a calm tone but inside he is freaking out just blurting the most apparent stuff trying to deflect himself.
Although it wasn't what you wanted to hear at all, you are at least glad that your anxiety can be quelled over time by distancing yourself.
“Are you satisfied now, is this what you wanted from me?” he quelled getting a bit antsy.
“Yes, Rocket… thank you,” you said so bittersweetly, pushing down the feelings that bloomed like stepping on a flower.
Chapter 2 will be posted soon! If you can’t wait go check out my Ao3 same name and icon!
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i-sveikata · 10 months ago
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Hi! I loooooved the new chapter, it was def worth the wait! So much to unpack this chapter but my main take aways are:
1. Love vegas' guards. I really relate to oat having to pee every five min. Same.
2. Super impressed with vegas and how he can get aroused in any situation. Like, bro you almost died and getting to smash pete is the first thing you think about??? He's gonna have a rough couple of weeks with no sex.
3. Kim is 25?????? I thought he was maybe a year or two older than chay. I know the series is very vague on the character ages. I think the novel is a little more clear with most of the characters being in their early twenties. How old are the all characters in your fic? Is vegas older than pete? I'm super curious.
4. I know this is a vp fic but I'm super excited to see how the other couples work out. Kinn is a massive tool but I'm still rooting for him and porsche to have a happy ending. Porsche deserves it. I was rooting for kimchay to patch things up in the show. I don't know about in this fic though 😅. I hope kim can at least give a real apology for Chay's sake at least. What are your thoughts on the kimchay relationship? Do you have any plans for them?
Thank you so much for the great chapter! Wishing you the best!
Ahh thank you angel!! Haha poor oat and his tiny bladder but of course Pete was just being impatient and getting annoyed by the smallest things because he was so worried about Vegas!
Omg Vegas is literally feral!!! But I do think there’s an edge of real insecurity to that where he’s afraid that if he’s not providing mind blowing sex at any given moment that Pete might not put up with him (this will eventually be addressed at some point tho) but yeah he is going to have a hard time in the next few weeks
Yeah all the ages were kinda vague so when I googled I basically just came across guesses for age ranges? So in this fic Kim is 25, I have Kinn as like 26/27 and tankhun around 29/30. Pete and Porsche are both around 24 and Macau and porchay are eighteen (though Macau is older and is closer to turning nineteen at this point) Vegas is a little older than Pete around 25/26. But also in the show the actor that played Kim looks wayyyy older than the actor playing chay so I did kind of want to play that up a bit to add to the unsettling vibe?? Like tbh all of these relationships in this fic (and in the show) are a bit unsettling that’s why the power and control and ideas of consent are all swirling around in the story tbh!
Kinn is a massive tool for sure but until things improve I basically considered that fight with him and Porsche as Porsche basically dumping his ass.
Tbh Kim and porchay were never particularly important to me but that’s because I don’t really find the young innocent/naive and ruthless/liar/false identity couple dynamic very interesting even if I do like their characters? Obviously there’s more to the story than what’s come to us in this chap from Porsches biased perspective but yeah I don’t really envision them having a happy ending in this (but I’m not sure if they did in the books anyway? But yeah it was a pretty bitter ending in the show) I think kim will do his best to apologise but he kinda seems to strike me as the most similar to mr korn personality wise? So he’ll be sorry that chay is hurt but not necessarily sorry for his actions if that makes sense? He’s ruthless and I think he got a little caught up in the pretending with chay too
But yeah basically I kinda wanted to highlight how the cruelty and the trauma trickles down into all of mr kan and mr korns sons and how they still pass that on in how they behave in their relationships in different ways tbh they’re all pretty fucked up
Oh you’re welcome! So glad you enjoyed the latest chap!
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elslittlestories · 4 months ago
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The week after - Hunter (The Bad Batch)
This is a follow-up to "The morning after", a short fanfiction toying with the idea of an asexual Hunter and sensory issues. There should be a part 3 some day...
Gender neutral reader
1.5k words, some allusions to sex but nothing explicit
[Read on AO3]
⚠️Updated version available under the title:
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Hunter stands at your front door, staring at you while he waits for your answer.
“You’ve got some nerves,” you say.
It’s been a week since that party on the beach, the kiss you shared and…everything else. Maybe asking you to go for a walk, like he has done so many times since you met, wasn’t such a great idea after all. But he’s not ready to give up.
“I’m sorry, I…Can we talk?”
You huff, intrigued despite yourself. After all, he’s here, and he does look sorry. You refuse to let hope take over you, but you step away from the door to let Hunter in. He follows you and you both sat across the kitchen table.
“I wanted to apologize,” says Hunter with a slight quaver in his voice.
“Took you long enough”, you can’t help but grouch.
Although it doesn’t bring you the sense of revenge you were looking for.
“I know…I needed it. I left Pabu for a few days.”
“So I’ve heard. Omega said you and Tech had some errand to run.”
“We visited some friends. A married couple.”
Hunter pauses, hands fidgeting, before he adds, “for advice.”
The leap your heart makes in your chest makes you dizzy. This time, there’s no stopping the foolish wish that he might love you after all.
“You needed advice from a married couple,” you repeat.
“I…wanted to figure out if what I was feeling was uh…more than friendship?”
Again, his voice gives away his fluster. The contrast with his confident stance is unsettling.
“…and?” you breathe out.
“And…I- Hum…Are you sure you don’t want to take a walk?”
At this point Hunter can’t look your way and his body feels so restless he fears it might trigger another meltdown. Even though he has taken every precaution to avoid it by wearing his most comfortable clothes and keeping his gloves on.
You take pity on him and agree to follow him outside, despite the throbbing of your heart. Without a word, you head down toward the beach, keeping an awkward distance between you.
“I don’t understand what’s going on,” you say, making an effort of keeping your tone gentle.
Motion is already starting to ease Hunter’s edginess and when he starts speaking again, his voice is more gathered. What he struggles with is organizing his thoughts…
“It’s really important that you get that you are not the problem here. The reason I rejected you- it’s got nothing to do with you. I never wanted to make you feel like you didn’t deserve me. Anyone would be lucky to have you- not that I want you to go with somebody else. Well unless you want to. I’m not trying to force you into anything. I know I hurt and I’m sorry. So sorry.”
“Are you trying to say you…want to be with me?”
The words seem even more foolish said out loud, but your pulse is racing and every inch or your body tingling. Your mind is already feeling up the blanks for him. He must have panicked because it was his first time, which would also explain his not so satisfactory performance.
“Well, I-…I like you.”
It takes every last bit of control in you for not tripping on the sand.
“I would love to share something with you,” he adds, flexing his hands. “But…”
“Ah,” you say with the wrong kind of butterflies in your stomach. “Here comes the but.”
Hunter looks at you, broken. He searches carefully for his words, toes digging into the sand for anchor.
“I don’t think I’m fit for this kind of relationship.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” you ask, your annoyance rising up again.
“I-…I can’t sleep with somebody.”
You stop dead. This chat is reaching a level of confusion you would never have expected! Hunter turns around to face you, cheeks pink and eyes avoidant.
“Sleep, as in sleep? Or the naughty one”, you hear yourself asking without thinking.
“Er…both? It’s uh…I think I struggle with the skin on skin contact.”
“And you only found out now?”
“Well, I didn’t have much experience with that until the other night.”
His face takes a darker shade. You can’t believe your ears.
“Nobody ever touched you? Not even a hug?”
“I was always wearing clothes.” Hunter shrugs.
The reality of this man’s life fully sinks into you. Your throat tightens as you try to imagine a child rising up without ever truly feeling the warmth of someone else against him.
“Is it okay if I hug you now?”
His eyes widened and you decide you don’t need his permission. You pull him against you and squeeze hard when you feel his arms closing around you.
“That’s so sad,” you whisper.
“It’s no big deal, really”, he replies with an uneasy pat on your back.
You step back, surprised to find your sight blurred.
“This kind of hugs works just fine for me,” he smiles.
“Is it because of your enhanced sense?”
“That’s Tech’s theory, yes. I’ve always had trouble with touch and texture.”
“Oh…”
There’s a silence as you take the news in and link the dots with your memories from that night, the fact that he never seemed to fully be touching you. Not in the way you were craving for him to touch you.
Hunter resumes walking, you catch up with him to ask:
“How does it feel?”
He sighs and doesn’t answer right away.
“Like staring at the sun but you can’t close your eyes.”
Mindlessly, you look up at the sky and squint at the brightness. Something twist inside you.
“So you didn’t have a good time, did you?”
“Not really, no,” he answers with a silent apology.
It makes your guilt flare up.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought I could just tough it out.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work. We’re supposed to both enjoy ourselves!”
Hunter stares in the far and quietly says: “I’ve never been interested in that, to be honest.”
You frown.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“My friend warned me this pill might be the hardest to swallow,” he makes himself joke.
“I mean, have you seen yourself in a mirror?”
It’s his time to frown, so you add:
“You’re hot, Hunter. Half of Pabu must be fantasizing about you and you’re telling you have zero interest in- in- in…the thing!”
He rubs the back of his neck with a chuckle. He never quite understood what people saw in him in that regard, but his brothers have made him aware of it in various teasing ways. Until now he just didn’t realize the fact that he never ever reciprocated the attraction was unusual.
“But wait! What about kissing?”
He winces. You catch it.
“I don’t mind the…closed-lip ones,” he says as gently as he can, aware he’s close to hurting your feelings.
“You don’t mind them.”
While your broken ego whales about your inability to entice desire in a man, you’re more concerned about having forced Hunter into something he clearly didn’t want to do. The question escapes your lips before you can stop it.
“Was there anything at all you enjoyed that night?”
He gives you another of his apologetic, sad puppy look and you feel sick.
“But…” you add, “you were…hard.”
“I mean, the machinery is working.”
Somehow, his answer makes it even worst.
“And to be honest, I was expected something to kick in at some point. But with the sensory issues…it just never came.”
He notices how pale you are and quickly adds:
“It wasn’t so bad. I was probably more content by giving you a good time than anything. I’m not sure I did a good job with that, though…”
“First times are meant to be messy, but I wasn’t expecting to force you into yours!”
Hunter takes your wrist and waits for your eyes to meet before uttering:
“Hey, you didn’t force me into anything. I overestimated my abilities and chose to go through with it anyway, so that’s not on you, okay?”
You nod, giddy from his strong aura and the feeling of his gloved hand on your skin.
“This sucks,” you mumble.
He let go of your arm.
“Tell me about it…”
You walk in silence until you reach the end of the beach and turn around. Hunter wouldn’t mind sprinting away, if only to get rid of the tensions in his body. He’s never felt more exposed in his entire life.
“Maybe I should give you some space to process all of this,” he says hesitantly.
“Yeah…”
“I- uh…I’ll just go, then.”
He means to add he’ll miss you, but he doesn’t. After one last look and a shy smile, he bolts away. The run does help a little, but he’s got a burning question on the tip of his tongue, and he knows he won’t find rest until you’ve answered it. He speeds up, waiting for the rush of endorphins to wash over him and take away the dread that you might not want to see him for a while…
***
This headcanon of Hunter is very dear to me, I can only hope it resonates with someone else in any way.
I should probably have edited this more, but I'm too impulsive for this shit!
Thank you so much for reading and bearing with me 🥰
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dragon-queen21 · 1 year ago
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hey :) ! I saw your kuma bear agere edits a while ago when I was browsing through the kb tag and thought, “huh. That’s pretty cool” and didn’t think much of it. After some weeks, I would be thinking about it again and go to search for it. I felt strangely happy? Like, yeah, this makes sense. Yuna would probably do that cause of everything that has happened. So, now I’m asking this after pondering it for a couple months. The point of all this is: do you mind sharing some hcs you have about kuma bear? Or some edits. Anything really, it can even be about someone other than Yuna or about her relationships with anyone else. I just feel really happy when I see someone else enjoying kb and making edits and stuff. If not, thanks for posting your kb edits :). I really like them! Have a nice day ^^
dbsjbdjdbksnsi You have no idea how long I have waited for the chance to ramble about Kuma bear :D I know theoretically I could have done so at anytime without prompting but still
This ask is so dear to me you have no idea, thank you so much, this made my whole week! Anyways!
Regressor Yuna headcanons
~~~
~You can’t tell me that Yuna wouldn’t have severe trauma considering she’s been on her own for so many years and her parents genuinely just didn’t care where she was or what was happening to her.
~Yuna probably would have regressed a couple times before she got summoned to the other world but never actually knew what it meant. Probably vent regressing when she got too lonely. Maybe she researched a couple things online and found the term age regression and just brushed it off because, “well that couldn’t be me, I don’t have childhood trauma I must just be over tired.”
~Then when she meets Fina and her family and everyone else it just suddenly hits her like “oh. I had a really bad childhood huh? This is what a loving family’s supposed to be like.”
~After that she has a harder time not regressing whenever she gets back from a mission just from the overwhelming feeling of love and safety
~So Yuna gains the ability to turn Kumayuru and Kumakyuu into cubs. I forgot what she does to earn this power so I’ll instead share the idea that has been rotating around my head. She gains the power due to accepting her own regression.
~Yuna carrying around her bear cubs everywhere with her when she's small like they’re stuffed animals.
~Making childhood snacks like pudding and needing someone to tell her when regressed to stop eating desserts or she’s going to make herself sick
~The shyest little cub whenever she’s regressed. I feel like she’d trust Fina if she tried to coax Yuna out of her room but otherwise she just hides away.
~Fina doing her best to watch over Yuna when she’s small. She'd would definitely know how to look after her considering she took care of Shiri for years. And if Yuna gets really embarrassed she just tells her that it’s her way of making it up to her for all of the things she’s done. (Also Fina would probably be a regressor too but that’s for another post entirely)
~Probably made a bunch of little gear for herself but is 90% of the time too embarrassed to use it and even less so around anyone.
~Fina and Noa being very proud at being the “older siblings” whenever Yuna is small.
~Cliff is 100% father figure material for Yuna while she's small. Noa probably mentioning something about Yuna regressing and Cliff just going into protective father mode.
I have a lot more thoughts for this series (lot of found family material tbh) but I am going to cut myself off here before this post gets any longer than it already is <3
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queenofbaws · 1 year ago
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ahhhhHHHHHH it's been a hot minute since i've stopped and done one of these, but i figured now's the time, huh??? a quick little update here on my end: i'm hoping to be finishing of mummy men & bathtub soup, my conrad manofmedan-centric ghost hunting fic, in the coming weeks, so everything else is likely to be running a little slower for the immediate future. it's one of a handful of wips i'm REALLY trying to wrap up before the guilt eats me alive, telltale heart style, M O S T L Y because i have so much stuff planned for the creepiverse that i'm just...bursting at the seams to get some sort of momentum going there, haha!!!
my weekends have also been a bit more chaotic than usual lately, between health crap and family crap, so once more, if you've sent me a flash fiction prompt recently that i haven't gotten to, i promise you'll see it filled one of these days 😭 just waiting for things to calm down a bit.
BUT HEY with all that in mind, i'm throwing a chunkier sneak-peek of like wringing blood from a stone here under the cut! never fear: i'm way too deep into hackett hyperfixation to NOT be working on it in the background, but until conrad's story comes to a close, hackett house will just be a littttttttle quieter than usual ;P
(as always, i hope you're all doing well out there, that you're being as nice to yourselves as you possibly can, and that YOUR creative endeavors are going well <3 you got this!!!)
He knew better to bring those questions to Constance; in his heart he suspected she would’ve known plenty and more about this bizarre side of things, but in nearly sixty years of marriage, all she’d ever willingly shared of her life before him was that the mother and grandmother who’d raised her up had been ‘ugly, witchety women,’ and not much else. Not ‘witchy,’ mind, not ‘wicked,’ not ‘wretched,’ but ‘witchety.’ That was as far as she’d be pressed on the subject, and he’d been raised to let sleeping dogs lie, so that was as far as he’d tried to press.
Jack, though. Jack you couldn’t get to shut up.
And he was more than a little witchety, himself. He hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of that word until the first time the Fiddlers had shown up on his doorstep—then it’d made perfect sense. Witchety. Yeah.
“I’m gonna ask you something.” Jed didn’t wait for him to react, instead sitting back in his own chair and rubbing tiredly at his stubble. “Figure I might as well, seein’ as how you’ve got an opinion on every other thing under the goddamn sun. You level with me now…this curse shit, it real?”
“Oh, it’s real. Real as the shirt on your back, I promise you that.”
He frowned. Not only was it the answer he’d least wanted to hear, but Jack hadn’t even paused to mull it over. That told him a great many things at once; very few of them good.
“Tell you something else, though,” Jack soldiered on. “Since you went and opened the door and all.” Then he did pause, looking down at the whiskey in his glass as he swirled it. After another couple seconds, he took a belt of it and set the glass back down. “People think of curses like a cold. Someone gives it to you, or it’s…I dunno, catching.” He shook his head. “But that ain’t right.”
He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of it in his own head. “No?”
Jack shook his head again. “No. Curses are something you bring on yourself. If you’re cursed, well…that ain’t anybody’s fault but your own.”
Much as it pained him to do so, Jed held his gaze, dead eye and all. He wanted to see if he might backpedal, apologize for the slight when he realized what he’d said…but the only thing Jack did was take another drink of his whiskey.
“That don’t sit well with me.”
“Doesn’t have to. It’s the truth, Jed, and you know what they say about the truth. It shall set you free.”
“You understand you’re sittin’ in my house, telling me to my face that it’s—”
“Your own damn fault you’re up Shit Creek,” he finished for him. “Unfortunately, I am.”
“Now, you listen. Those kids were—”
Jack held both his hands up, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. “Helpin’ that boy. Uh huh. Yeah. I know. Six years I’ve been hearin’ about how helpful the pack is. Six fuckin’ years. And know what? That’s great. Real swell. And if I were a different man, maybe this is where I’d pat you on the shoulder and say somethin’ conciliatory. ‘No good deed goes unpunished,’ maybe. ‘There but for the grace of God go we.’ Only I’m not, and so you’re stuck what I’ve got to say. Which, if you hadn’t noticed, rarely runs on the side of consolation.” He took another breath, Jack, then sat forward with his arms on the table such that he could lean in. “They meant to help that boy, Jed. What they actually did was kill his whole family right in front of him.”
“Family,” he scoffed, leaning further back to show him what he thought of that one. “What family would that be? A truckful of carnies roaming town to town…that ain’t a fuckin’ family.”
Jack didn’t drop his gaze. “No? It ain’t? Huh. See—to me at least—sounds an awful lot like what you married yourself into.” He gave his glass another swirl. “An awful lot.”
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houseofbrat · 2 years ago
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OMFG I AM dying for a world where these 2 aren’t together!!! I desperately need a respite from MM. not come across anyone as narcissistic, manipulative, crass & vulgar as she is. She even lowered H to her level, he who was brought up with all the refined decorum of a Royal Prince & a member of the most elite family in the world. Still can’t get over how she keeps pushing him away at every turn, ensuring she greets the VIP first & when he stands up for women when they enter a room, she LEGIT PULLS HIM AWAY/DOWN. Has she got no basic manners??? Or is this too the BRF’s fault??
Well, I think Meghan is at the end of the road professionally. She’s doing a meet ‘n greet in Indianapolis, Indiana, in a few weeks. Can’t wait to read the chatter about that mess. Because I have no doubt it’s going to be a mess. 
The Megxit situation happened shortly before Saturn changed signs from (sidereal) Sagittarius to Capricorn in January 2020. It’s changing again in January 2023 from (sidereal) Capricorn to Aquarius. H&M had already moved to Canada a couple of months prior to their official announcement in November 2019. It makes sense that Harry is already separating himself from Meghan in the public sphere, even though many people are seemingly oblivious to it. The previous two Veterans Days in 2020 and 2021, H&M were obviously together in their media moves. They couldn’t be more separate right now, except that many people don’t want to see it. 
It’s interesting reading the comments of the reddit user who is connected to all the Hollywood gossip. She relates to a lot of the mental torture Harry has been put through with her ex-husband who also is a narc.
Harry routinely looks like a man trapped into or gaslit in Meghan's lies. He didnt lie about 3 day early wedding with Oprah. She did. He neither confirmed nor denied, And he started looking uncomfortable, clutched a chicken, and got into a fetal position. He did not lie about family racism. She was interviewed by Oprah for hours first and when he came out and was asked, he was blindsided. He got angry, said it happened before the engagement (already contradicting Meghan, and he would not answer any more questions about it.
[and]
Again, not 100% sure it's true, though I have it on good authority, but just wanted to add that that is a powerful moment for the victim of a narcissist: when other people validate that what you have been seeing and hearing is actually true, and that the narcissist is truly the one in the relationship who is disturbed.
Unless someone has been in a relationship with a narcissist or is aware of the narcissistic dynamic, it is hard to understand Prince Harry's sudden change in personality, betrayal of his family, and the sudden change in his memory of past events (like that it was Meghan who first got him into therapy, when he's on tape pre-Meghan saying it was William and Catherine, and that Diana was killed because she was dating a man of color just like Harry is with a woman of color that he believes they are trying to kill [or will not stop until Meghan is dead]). Narcissists can get you so mindfucked that it's hard to know what's real. I am a very strong-minded somewhat intelligent person who often fought back against the lies, and it took me a while to get deprogrammed. I can't imagine how easy it would be and how much more confused a narcissist could make a weakminded, damaged, and notoriously unintelligent man like Harry.
[and]
Everything that happens like this, he likely gets yelled at for by her until he himself is angry and starts complaining to shut her up. Notice she's never pictured looking anyway but smiling while harry looks more and more ready to implode. Narcs behave rabidly in private this to make you look sullen and ragey in public. Then they use the photographic record to tell you you're the one with the chip on your shoulder and that they are just trying to get on with things but you wont let it go. Meanwhile the opposite is happening.
So, Harry’s mental state is probably going to need a lot of therapy in the coming months. An deprogramming. And frequent flier miles between the UK and California to see his kids. 
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saras-devotionals · 9 months ago
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Quiet Time 2/6
What am I feeling today?
Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly overwhelmed and stressed out. It feels like every day I have a million things on my plate and I never know how I’m going to accomplish it. I can plan all I want but my heart starts to race from anxiety and I feel on edge. I’ve been so exhausted, tired in every sense and just ready to give up because I feel I barely have any strength. In order to focus, I’ve been numbing myself to everything else, including God. I’ve been treating Him as a distraction instead of my solution. He knows my schedule, He knows my responsibility, He knows me and what I’m capable of. And He has been so good to me! Every day I wonder how I’ll get everything done and she sees me through! I still need some extra encouragement today though.
1 Peter 5:6-10 NIV
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
Three things to note here. The first is that I must humble myself before God and cast all my anxiety on Him. Which I believe I have. I’ve prayed for my week and days and put it all in God’s hands. And i believe He had heard me because He had seen me through all of it up until my present day.
The second thing is to resist the devil. That we need to be alert and sober. He’s looking for a moment of weakness, that’s when he Can best attack us. I’ve felt him coming for me these past couple weeks and it was hard to shake him. He’s persistent, wanting me to fail but I won’t give him the satisfaction. It’s a good reminder to know that all my fellow disciples are also in this battle with me.
The last thing is that it notes after we’ve suffered a little while. Not if we suffer, but after. God will restore us and make us strong, firm, and steadfast. I see that as a promise. He’s here for us.
Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
I really really love this passage, it’s so comforting to me. I feel acknowledge and seen when I read it. Recognized because it says even youths grow tired and weary and it’s true. I feel often times in present day we are disregarded because of our young age. That we’re too young to be tired and overwhelmed, just wait til you’re older and you’ll really know what it means to be tired. I don’t like being disregarded. But in this passage I feel seen and loved. God sees that I’m tired and weary. He will renew my strength if I just trust in Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Another favorite and comfort of mine. I’ve been known to be stubborn and prideful. Thinking that my plans and my ways are the best course of action. That I know what’s best for me in my life. I couldn’t be further from the truth. If I trust completely and submit myself fully to God instead of myself, He will direct my path. He will lead me the way that He had planned for my life. I feel that there’s really a lot of comfort in that because He does know what’s best for me.
PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you God for another day of life! I was worried that I wouldn’t wake up on time. That I wouldn’t be able to have a proper quiet time and be able to get ready, but you’re so good to me and you saw me through. You gave me the strength to wake up even though I’ve been exhausted with less sleep that usual. Thank you for helping me through this!
God, I pray that you help me through my struggles. It’s hard being around people of the world. There’s sin and filth entrenched everywhere and it feels impossible to avoid. It would be easy for me to slip back into who I once was in order to fit in but that’s not right. Help me resist that temptation Lord and instead be a light to all those who are lost.
Lord God, I pray for all my classmates and fellow students who do not know you and I pray that you help me refrain from judging those who claim that do. I could feel myself so judgmental yesterday but who I am to judge when I was just like them before I was saved? I pray that you can forgive me Lord.
God, I pray for my day. Clinicals are difficult and draining and I need your strength to help me get through it! I pray that you are also with me through my week. I feel as if I will truly get no rest but I trust that you will see me through it all Lord.
I also pray that you give me the strength to share with my clinical instructor today. I would love to invite her out and give her a community since she just recently moved here. I pray that I won’t shy away this time.
I also want to continue to pray for my family’s health, especially my father. I also pray for the health of all those in my spiritual family since I know quite a few have fallen ill.
Lastly, I pray that we are fruitful this month. That all those who are studying the Bible will continue and we will have more baptisms! I pray that I can reach out to more classmates this month too!
Thank you for everything, I love you dearly!
I pray this in Jesus name,
Amén.
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