#it weird to think who I would be if I didn’t have unlimited internet access at such an age.

[sam-moss]

I don’t care what happens, I’m never leaving this website. This website taught me the word “trauma” at a young age and taught me how it can affect you and how mine affects me. It taught me the word “asexual”. It’s taught me at every turn how to understand myself and how I’m not alone no matter how different and alone I feel.

I feel like I grew up on this website and like I grew into the person I am today bc of it. It’s felt like more of a home than any physical space I’ve ever occupied for sure.

[sineala]

How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

[squishneedsahero]

Maybe It Isn’t all Bad

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 2 of 13

Word Count: 1714

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

It had been two months since you published your book, and it had taken off. Tons of people loved it and even more had read it. Because of this you were suddenly a popular public figure of Gotham, and of course like all other public figures you were invited to one of the many galas that happen in this city. You hated it. You, y/n l/n the nobody who lived in a shabby apartment and just happened to get lucky with your book. What you wouldn't give to go back to being a nobody so you could spend your Friday night watching Netflix alone on your couch.

Unfortunately you weren't sure how the snobby rich people,who thought they were better than everyone else, would take you rejecting their invitation the first of probably many. But this was a charity gala hosted by Bruce Wayne: play boy, billionaire, and one of the few people present that seems somewhat genuine even if you didn't think he had a single thought behind his eyes. So maybe it wasn't all bad cause all the rich people were donating to charity and Bruce usually made sure the money went somewhere good.

You had worn an elegant gown, preferring it to the ones that let your ass hang out the bottom. The dress was fabulously elegant and made you feel like a queen. You had paired it with your your highest high heels, stilettos that you could stab someone with if it came down to it. So far the night had been filled with pointless conversations and lots and lots of introductions, all while dancing a waltz.

Lets be honest you won't remember most of the new people you had met, you could've met the Queen of England and not have known it. You didn't remember not because you had been drinking, even if you had thought about it many times, but because there were so many people that wanted to get you and your new found popularity under their thumb and gain through you.

You had finally gotten a break by standing by the buffet table and eating the food they seemed to be letting go to waste. If nothing else you would singlehandedly make sure the food didn't get wasted. You kept trying to think of an excuse to go home, but so far couldn't think of anything. Your planning was interrupted when yet another person came up to you, except his face is somewhat familiar. "Hi," you say after you hurriedly swallow a bite of food.

"Hello, Miss (y/n) (l/n)," he begins, knowing your name but you not knowing his, "may I have this dance?" He asks, great another dance luckily you were used to being on your feet thanks to waitressing otherwise you'd be worried about them falling off with all this meaningless dancing. Why couldn't rich people be more fun with their dancing, most of them were white, playing some pop songs, and the Cupid Shuffle could only make things better.

"Yes, Mister..." you pause as you try to place him, you know you know him but you'd seen so many faces like that tonight that it was a blur.

"Wayne," He finishes for you.

"I'd love to dance with you Mr.Wayne," you lie through that smile that was plastered to your face. You offer your hand and wish desperately you had taken your chance to escape when you'd had it only moments before.

He takes the hand you offer to him and leads you out to the dance floor, waltzing yet again, at least you didn't have to lead cause you had no idea what you were doing. "My son read your book," he begins, trying to start up a friendly conversation, "he's keeps trying to convince me to read it."

"That's nice," you respond awkwardly, what were you supposed to do? Try to convince him to read it too? Hell no, you are not going to act like an airhead and promote yourself.

"He doesn't know that I've already read it," Bruce says. You laugh before you can stop yourself, you almost apologize but he laughs as well. "I enjoyed reading it, it was very well written." Maybe he did actually have real thoughts in his head unlike how the media portrayed him.

"Thank you," you say a slight blush making is way onto your cheeks. He was quite attractive after all and here he was complimenting you. The smile on your lips becomes more genuine as the two of you continue dancing, making light conversation, and surprisingly it was quite enjoyable.

Before you know it the party is over. And you'd spent almost half of it dancing with one man. "Thank you for the dance."

"It was my pleasure," he says, and you find yourself blushing for the millionth time that night. Maybe these parties weren't all bad, you'd found a friend you could have intelligent conversations with after all.

You find yourself invited to almost every gala that happens in the city over the next few months and every time Bruce is there the two of you spend most of the time dancing and talking with each other. The conversations between the two of you are pleasant, covering many topics, and most importantly they aren't meaningless like all the other conversations you were forced into at galas.

Bruce would get your opinion on things such as how the money he got for charity should be spent since you had been more recently living among the people he was trying to help. Like you weren't bad off by any means but you hadn't owned a car, relying on bus routes to get around the city and working 40+ hours a week to keep your head above water. You had been better off than many in Gotham but you had been closer to the poverty than Bruce had, even considering his night job. The fact that he genuinely cared and wanted your opinion amazed you. He was the first and probably only friend you made among the one percent at those parties.

Of course the two of you didn't only talk business, other more casual subjects came up. The two of you bonding over having dead parents, even if he was more traumatized and your wounds more recent. Then talking about school and how you had decided to skip college in order to pursue writing while he had been homeschooled then traveled the world instead of college, not that either of you were too old for college though. He was was 23-24, still young despite having adopted an 8 almost 9 year old and you were close to the same age as him.

The both of you being young, and single, did lead the two of you to have more than a friendship but that was after nearly a year of just talking at galas. Okay a year of just talking was a lie. It was probably only six months before the two of you found yourselves out in a garden and shared your first kiss. But it was an entire year before he finally asked you out, claiming it was a dare from Dick and to ease the pressure of the press.

You of course called him on those lies and pointed out the fact that there had not been a single other woman in his life since the two of you met. And said the only way you'd go out with him was if he'd, "just admit you like me." Needless to say he did.

That was part of the reason that he was so attracted to you. Despite what he knew about you from the one day he saved you from Joker, you were just unafraid to be yourself. You had never pretended or tried to pretend to fit in at the galas. You'd never been afraid to call him on his shit, even if it had risked your one friendship that made those galas bearable.

To your surprise when you had called him a dumbass for thinking it was acceptable to give a 9 year old unlimited access to the internet he laughed and said you were probably right. Then for some reason he thought it was a good idea to ask you for parenting advice and you told him that was a worse idea. You had less of an idea how to be a parent than he did, the only reason a 9 year old shouldn't have unlimited internet access was because he was a bit young to already get unrealistic expectations from porn. Mainly you had no idea, it just felt weird to turn a kid loose on the internet but then again you'd been a kid who ate mud and called it fun.

So, all the talking and asking opinions and just spending a ton of time together leads to Bruce asking you out. The press saw this coming from miles away and caught you both on your date, not that they didn't have pictures of the two of you hiding from people on a balcony. But an actual date?!? Amazing! All the internet fans were happy for you, the paparazzi loved you and would do anything to get pictures of the two of you.

The two of you became Gotham's it couple overnight but the best thing about it was that it was real. Both of you were blatantly honest, calling each other out when needed and defending each other at other moments. There were no secrets between the both of you and you wouldn't trade that for anything. It was amazing to you that you had finally found a man who saw you as his equal and if anything he was a man known for being a womanizer.

So that's how it all started, in the space of a year the two of you fell in love and were head over heels for each other. Dick played match maker every chance he got, since he adored you for some odd reason. And of course, when you finally met him Alfred approved of you and Bruce being together, the one person able to call him on his shit and have him listen. It was a miracle that Alfred had thought he'd never love to see.

[aftokrvteira]

for the fans (m)

pairing: eren jaeger x female reader (modern au) warnings: nsfw, recording while having sex, handjob, mentions of breeding, explicit language words: 1.6k

“I thought you were okay with this” you say, lowering your legs, looking at Eren with a worried look. He seems uncomfortable while holding the camera and lets out a sigh.

“Yeah, but...”he looks at you with a weird sparkle in his eyes. One you’ve never seen before. He seems annoyed about something but not directly to you. His eyes scan your body up and down as if something was not okay with this whole thing. “I don’t think is a good idea anymore.”

“Seriously?” you sat on the bed, raising an eyebrow. “You begged me to open an OnlyFans for months and now you’re backing away from it?”

Eren had been a pain in the ass for the last weeks since he discovered how much money you two could make from an OnlyFans account. As if he wasn’t making enough from his streaming career, playing videogames for a living, literally. You were okay with that because he seemed happy but things got weird from time to time when you appeared on the background for a few moments during a streaming or you said something way too loud. Your boyfriend had been secretive enough about you with his fans because, well, most of them were just horny teenagers or nosy trolls and Eren told you from the beginning that his work would never mix up with your love-life, but recently he’d ask you to bring him a beer or something to snack while he was recording and you’r do that just because he was your boyfriend and you loved him.

“It’s just...” he made a pause, running his free hand through his hair, messing it around even more “Nevermind, it’s stupid, let’s continue” you gave him a stern look but he avoided your gaze and concentrated on messing around with the camera and the lighting. You sighed, laying down once more, raising your legs up in the air so that he could see your panties. You decided not to push the subject anymore and played along, reaching down to move aside the fabric of your panties to let him see your pussy. He took a few photos but shook his head. “You’re making a weird face”

“Of course not, I’m posing normally” you said, frowning. “What kind of face do you want me to do? I’m allowing you to take pictures of my hoohaa to sell them on the internet!” Eren raised an eyebrow and you sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, Eren, I’m okay with this but... It’s just that... I don’t know...” you sat again on the bed, scooting a little closer to him. “I feel dumb” he looked at you, confused and you rubbed the back of your neck, feeling your cheeks getting warmer. He looked at you in silence for a few seconds.

“Yeah, me too” he finally said. “I thought this would be easy, you know, like, I have friend that do this, but... Every time I think that they’ll see you in that way...” He furrowed his brow. You touched his hand with yours, caressing his knuckles “You have no idea how lucky I am to have you. You’re the most beautiful and sexy creature on this universe and I feel like anytime someone pays to see you I’ll track them down to kill them” You giggled and shook your head “I’m serious, you know I would do that.”

“Then why did you asked me to do this? You’re clearly not comfortable with it.”

Eren kept caressing your cheek for a few seconds and shrugged. You insisted silently on the question until he flicked you lightly on the forehead.

“Do you even know the effect you have on people, y/n?” you blinked, a little confused by the question. Eren chuckled and leaned down to look at you straight in the eye “They love you. They desire you. Every day I get messages asking about you, I see people trying to find your nudes. They’re desperate to find anything about you... And you’re mine. I have access to the object of their fantasies, unlimited access. I get to hear you moan and scream my name while you cum, I’m the one who can fuck you until you pass out...And you know I’m a little egocentric.”

You kept quiet, trying to process his words. You knew that there was something sketchy about Eren suddenly wanting to show you off to his followers but now you knew his true intentions. You’ve always knew. From the way he touched you around other men, how he’s always as close as possible, grabbing your hand, hugging you, kissing you...

“I know it’s contradictory to get all high on my horse from people looking at you and the be jealous at the same time.” you felt a little tingle “I think it’s better if we give it up. I don’t think I would be able to-”

“No, wait” you said, interrupting him “I have an idea.” Eren tilted his head “How about... You show them how I belong to you” he gave you a confused look. You bit your lip, not knowing how to explain yourself. You sat back on the bed and asked him to try again with the camera and he did, reluctantly. You closed your eyes for a moment but then locked your gaze with his, starting to run your fingers through your abdomen and breasts, imagining that there was no cameras between you and him. Just you trying to seduce him.

You started to open the zipper of your hoodie slowly, revealing your bare chest, noticing how he was finally getting your point. You were his and the only way to brag about it without getting jealous was to prove his followers that you would only do this for him. You heard the clicking of the camera as you slowly stripped away from your clothes. When there was nothing but your panties covering your body, you crawled to where he was.

“Record this” you whispered, reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants, where you could notice his boner. He froze for a moment. “It’s okay. We can show why I’m so into you...” you smiled at him, starting to jerk him off, feeling that tingle again in your pussy when he started moaning silently. He was so hard you found difficult to resist it and leaned a little more to start sucking the tip of his dick, not knowing if he was recording it or not. You didn’t care that much now that you were invested in allowing his length into your mouth, until you felt him on the back of your throat. Tears suddenly ran down your face but that didn’t stopped you from sucking him off. It was always a delight to hear his moans and grunts, it made you so horny that you slid one hand inside your panties to start caressing your wet vagina, rubbing your clit in circular motions as his cock twitched inside your mouth.

“Oh, fuck...” he whispered, rocking his hips against your mouth “Fuck, babe, you’re such a cock hungry slut...” you moaned because you loved it when he called you rough names. You knew you were doing a good job. You let out his cock, with a small thread of saliva connecting your lips from the tip of his penis, smiling at the camera. You laid down on the bed, opening your legs for him, as an invitation. Your fingers made wet sounds and your soaked panties made obvious what you wanted, what you needed.

“Do you want to fuck me?” you asked, trying to hold back a whimper. You saw Eren placing the camera down for a few seconds while he stripped from his sweats and his shirt. He took it back and climbed on the bed, positioning himself between your thighs, stroking his hard dick with his free hand. You made aside the wet fabric to show your pussy, opening the folds for him to see it in all of it damp glory.

“Babe, you’re a sight for sore eyes...” he said with a low voice, aligning his penis with your entrance and, just like that, he went all the way in, making you let out a loud moan that he seemed to enjoy “You don’t know how fucking hot you look.” he said, thrusting once more. You moaned again, raising your hands to place them above your head while he fucked you senseless.

“Ohmygod, Eren...” you whimpered “Oh god, you’re so big!” your right hand came down to stimulate your clit once more, feeling how your inside twitched and got tightier around his cock.

“Fucking shit... You’re so tight, damn it” he murmured, placing his hand in your waist. “You wanna cum, babe? You wanna cum with me?”

“Yes! Yes, yes yes!” you screamed, using your other hand to play with your nipple, twisting it around until it was hard. “I want you to cum inside, Eren...Please...Mark me as yours” you moaned and it was convincing enough because as soon as you felt your lower belly tense up, he increased his thrusts until you both reached orgasm. You arched your back when you felt how his hot cum filled you up and let out a whimper when he pulled out. You noticed how he made a special emphasis on your pussy and the way his semen leaked slowly out of it.

You closed your eyes, panting and after a few minutes, you felt the mattress sinking under his weight when he laid next to you, this time with no cameras around. You scooted closer.

“How was it?” you asked when you catch your breath. He raised his thumb and pulled you closer, wrapping his arm around you.

“They’ll go insane” he said “You’re one smart cookie. A smart and really horny cookie”

You chuckled and kissed him on the lips softly.

“I hope we can do it again... This time no cameras around.”

[moodysnowflake]

Let’s rant about - Fugou Keiji

This is the most disorganized post I could possibly write. Nice. Spoiler alert guys, if you’re not caught up to episode 5 of Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited.

I did warn you.

When I recognized the armored limo, I thought ‘It makes sort of sense, ‘cause since he’s not driving the Cadillac, and he’s traveling with the President, he’s automatically in a life-threatening situation as well.’ We can all argue that his car might not be armored, but come on… I bet my tonsil (they are extremely useful organs if you have still functioning ones)that the Cadillac has to; you just don’t stroll around in a vehicle equipped with military level stuff in it and don’t have it disaster-proofed. And speaking about military…we might finally have some clue, or it is better to say a clearer lead, on the Kambe family business: security and/or military related. He provided the president with freakin HMMWV - High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle, a.k.a. Humvee - vehicles and other special protection equipment. That might explain why there doesn’t seem to be a damn bottom in his wallet, nor limits his power can’t overcome. Well, until now, but I’m gonna rant about it later. It makes sense, ‘cause this area is way more lucrative than any other. Stark Industries and the Yard division of Wayne Enterprises showed us as much, right? I scrunched up my face when Daisuke said “I’m simply here as proxy for my grandmother.” I connected the dot ‘Oh, so that’s why he was looking so cold/pensive (laughing fit because my stupid brain made the connection between pensive and Purple Hyacinth [if you don’t know this webcomic, please check it out on Webtoon, it’s a good story]) with the news at the beginning of the episode. Granny Kambe was sick or something, so she might have persuaded him into going.’ I still don’t get why Haru didn’t know, but I’m sure Daisuke had his reasons… I also thought that Daisuke is not the only one available, right? What about best girl Suzue? Daisuke is not exactly a people person, but what do we know, maybe she was going to go and Daisuke got in the way to not have her have to deal with nasty issues.

What I was definitely not see coming was Daisuke’s “No. There will not be a day where I succeed as head of the family.”

My plot bunny had a seizure right then and there. Daisuke? Sir? I replayed it again and again, and I was struck by a new idea every time I did, and his cold-blooded tone, robotic aseptic expression didn’t help in the least. He’s impassive while he speaks, he’s emotionless. And that’s terrifying. It’s a horrible display, at least for me, because episode 4 showed us he cares, he’s capable of feeling emotions, and pretty strong ones too.

I need to focus on this because I think it’s important; everybody saw episode 4 as it was the most randomic, epic fujo-bait episode ever. Welp, sorry for disrupting the rose-tinted dream, but no. I mean, yes it was, but it wasn’t as well. I’ll try to elaborate, because I think that episode shouldn’t be discarded as just another episode. I think Fugou Keiji is very similar to Id:Invaded in this respect: nothing is thrown there by chance, nothing happens without a purpose, everything has a meaning. This is an one core show, with 11 episodes scheduled, which a pretty odd number, and if the story is meant to end in 11 episode (which I think it is), that means you can’t fuck around with filler episodes. [If you haven’t seen Id:Invaded, you should give it a chance. It’s rated R-17, so please proceed with caution. I mean it; it’s not just a very physically violent show. There are shades of ‘Dead Dove: Do Not Eat’ level shit in there.]

The progression might feel a bit fast to an old school, at least 2 core, 25+ episodes trained anime watcher like me, but as long as it’s organic, that’s totally fine. Episode 1 introduced our MC, said us ‘look, there’s this angry fluff boi, which is called Katou Haru, ad there’s this dripping ice-cold asshole boi called Kambe Daisuke: Shenanigans ensures.’ From episode 2, evolution started, as it should have. We needed to reach the end of the episode to see it, but we got it; when Haru roughs Daisuke up, we expected for him to have no reaction, and many may think that’s what happened, but I think that’s not the case. I think Daisuke was seriously ruminating about Haru’s overreaction, and his look was a deep thinking one. He’s not an impassive robot anymore. Episode 3 cemented it, showing us am astounding variety of emotions effectively coming out: he’s annoyed (glare shoot while Haru’s running him mouth, blabbering about being a good senpai), angry (Haru snitching him, then having to formally thank and ask for guidance), tired (sighing at Haru, stuck  dangling by the pole), salty (”Are you working hard, Inspector Katou?” [Can we blame him? Haru snitched him out, then the next day he had to hear from Kamei that he needed backup. I still think that he might have been waiting for him outside the station from the beginning, and just got confirmation from Kamei. Which made him, obviously, even saltier.], “This is precisely the moment I would like some coaching.”). Also, incredibly trusting and perceptive; he’s watching Haru like a hawk, giving him access to HEUSC (which he didn’t have to, but he thought he had to give him a chance), helping getting into the Shinkansen (he gave his mask to Haru, either because he knew the smoke used was not really harmful, or because he trained to hold his breath long enough to get himself out of its range), giving him his gun and - last but not least - getting himself between Haru and a gun. Granted, all of his suits have to be bulletproof - you cannot make me think otherwise -, but if you get shot, it still hurts as fuck, and you can get bruised, or even slightly crack a rib if the shot is close enough. So yeah, it wouldn’t have been pleasant. What’s the purpose of episode 4 then, except for fangirls to drool over it? Hands out, I’m not insulting the category, I’m gonna speak about it later, so put that on hold and don’t chew me for the time being. Like everybody perceived, episode 4 served other various purposes. Like the metaphors of dog: Daisuke is kind of a 27-years old puppy, because he can’t survive in the outside world without help. He can use rocket grapples, breach police communications, erase data from the internet, use a torch to melt a windshield, fire a rocket launched and Karma only knows what else, but he can’t do groceries to save his life, nor cut a potato without almost chopping his fingers off [insert Cloud’s pouting “I’m doing my best…” icon here]. He’s snarky, but soft (to Haru, the kids (ep3 and ep4 ones), and Suzue). He’s spoiled, but open-minded (he appreciate convenience store ramen, he values Haru’s cooking over pre-packed food). He’s cautious, but yields if he feels (reasonably) reassured (You think the kid is good? Fine by me, I’m gonna help. You think he’s not gonna shoot? Fair enough, I believe you. You need HEUSC to snoop up something to prove he’s okay? Just ask it. You think I don’t need a band-aid and lick the cut? Bit weird, but okay.). Like a dog, he can behead you with a bite, but if he trusts you, you can belly rub him to death. Episode 3 was Daisuke’s “I’ve got your back.” as well as episode 4 was Haru’s “I’ve got yours too.” This is what episode 4 is too: it’s Haru having Daisuke’s back. It’s Haru having patience and understanding, after Daisuke giving him his absolute trust and resources. Unlimited. They started sensing each other out from episode 1. With not really good results at the beginning, but it’s an understandable situation. Think from each other’s perspective: Haru’s a experienced police officer, who has Daisuke crashing into his life with very unorthodox methods and no chills, throwing money around without a second thought, pretentious and disrespectful. It’s almost physiological for him to try to deck him down at first glance. From Daisuke’s point of view, he might not know better, he’s socially awkward, civilian life interaction none existent. But most of all, we don’t know why he chose MCPD, nor how was he trained. Heck we have come clues, but not guarantees until we hear it from his mouth.

Yeah, I’m talking about you, Nakamura Chosuke, from that weird-ass look you gave each other in episode 2 coming out of the interrogation rooms, from the fact that in the OP you’re standing still while the rest of the team is moving forward and only Daisuke is going the opposite way towards you, from the fact that you might know way more than we may be comfortable with. You and Daisuke know each other, or at least know what’s up, and we’re gonna find out. Preferably soon, without having one of you dying. Please.

Daisuke needs to test the waters, to see who can be trusted and who can’t; it is very likely that he’s a pretty serious issue, something which he need someone to trust his life with. That, and also that his ‘training’ might have made him ‘somewhat selfish’, sometimes too cold, too unresponsive for his own good. But watch my words, he might be like this sometimes, because reasons, but he’s always on his toes, and he’s always listening. He listened to Haru while he ranted at him in episode 2, he listened to Haru while he asked him for help in episode 3, he listened to Haru while he herded him around in episode 4. Episode 4 served to provide Daisuke an alternative. It was not just about a tantrum. Story-wise, it gives Daisuke a space in which he feels safe, a zone his Kambe life can’t break into, as long as he doesn’t want it to reach him. Or at least, this is what he perceives.

Like someone said, when he’s saying that he’s not gonna inherit the Kambe Group, he’s talking with an indifferent, apathetic look. Mechanical, stolid, like when he talks with Kikuko. It’s the exact same face. Precisely. He doesn’t feel, he doesn’t react, if not prodded. Either because: 1. He really doesn’t want: he’s not a violent person, he doesn’t enjoy hurting others. He could just pay his way out of a murder, if he wanted to. He never acts to kill or harm. It makes sense that he wouldn’t want to be the heir of such a vicious empire. At least from what we know until now… 2. He’s been prevented or not supposed to: he might want to do it, but it might not be possible, because he might not be the designed one (OP’s women?), or be who we think he is. Maybe he really is ‘Shiro’s brother’, a replacement for someone else.

In both cases, it makes sense that he’s not granted access to weaponry/military information. It would also make sense to keep them from him in order to kill him. This leads into episode 5. He might have been trapped in Kikuko’s place, and grandma Kambe might not have anything to do with it, but at this moment everything could be possible. That being said, HEUSC confirmed Daisuke - and revealed us - that he’s disposable, a spare paw that can be disposed of at any given time, without concern nor regrets; he very well might have known this all along. He looks (really) slightly troubled to have to prod HEUSC for information about the bomb, because the AI butler is actually not interacting that much. And…Daisuke is like…going to die in the next 4 minutes? And Suzue is not coming? And that SHOULD be a problem, right? Daisuke dying SHOULD be in the ‘NO GOOD’ list in HEUSC programming. HEUSC SHOULD be trying its hardest to help him. Right? Daisuke is of course maintaining his collected cool, but surely the other two doofuses yapping around aren’t helping him. Put it with HEUSC not being helpful, it’s understandable for him to snap at it, asking for blueprints and directions. Because he was expecting them from the very beginning… When HEUSC answers come, he’s not shocked. We saw him alarmed, that’s not how his scared face looks like. He just seems disappointed, a hopeless realization, borderline frustrated, like he’s thinking “Is it? This is really the truth, they’re letting me die here”. Then he morphs into some sort of cold resolution, like “Bitch no, I’m not gonna kick the bucket without trying.” When I heard we were dealing with VX gas I said ‘Welp, someone really wants to be sure you dead, Mr. President.’

As some of you might be wondering, what is Daisuke doing? Why is he flooding the bathroom? Why is he drowning his jacket? The bomb is a gas one, and VX, also known as sarin gas, is one the deadliest chemical ever created. Basically what it does is shutting down your neurotransmissions, which means no impulse flowing, which stops every brain function and muscle in your body. Heart and diaphramm included, so no blood circulating and no oxigen.Not good. 10mg can kill a man. So, what they said in the episode is not fantasy, guys. That’s really bad juju. If it gets onto your skin (but for the love of Karma, I hope you’ll never have to experience it), you have to get it off as fast as you can washing and with a binding powder. In the meantime, you have two(three actually) guys to keep working: heart and lungs. As long as they run, there’s hope. Therefore, inject atropin every 10-15 minutes until resolution (to keep your heart galloping as fast as it can), pralidoxime (to actively compete with the substrate the gas attacks and help your diaphram and lungs not to stop) and diazepam (for the rest of your muscles not to tear themselves apart because of the other two compounds trying to save your life but not doing a really great job at keeping everything else in check). If you inhale that shit without atropin within arm’s reach, you have less than 2/3 minutes.

That’s why Daisuke unceremoniously tackles Haru out of the way.

So, why the jacket? Simply enough, soaking it, he creates a sort of barrier, or to be more specific, a medium (water) in which the gas is going to be trapped into before being released into the air. In the first seconds,the molecules produced by the canisters will be dissolved into the water, effectively trapping the gas withing the fabric of the jacket, as long as the water saturates. After that, if the gas continues to go, there would be a point were there’s gonna be too much of it in the water, and some of it will start to escape into the air. It takes time, depending on the pressure applied and the amount of water that the fabric can hold. That’s why Daisuke is keeping the jacket under the sink until the very last moment; the more water clinging, the better chances to survive. Even if, like the guard said, it’s not gonna work for long. I’m still not really sure why he’s going for the punch tho. He loosens the bow and the shirt to likely be able to pull it over his face just in case, since he is the one IN FRONT of the fucking bomb. The only option I can think of is that he’s trying to break the pump (and possibly bend a tube); VX is liquid at room temperature, so as long as you don’t inflate the canister and vaporize it into the air, you’re not in immediate danger. He’s hoping so hard for this to work, because he doesn’t want to die, as opposed of what he might have been thinking up until now. Because now, contrarily to what he said us in the very first line of episode 1, the boredom is gone. Now he has something to fight for (a truth he’s looking for) and someone to care of.

Yes, he might have not-so-gently wacked Haru away, but he was also pretty sure not be able to see the Sun again. He lost his composure and almost yelled at Haru for help. We can see that Haru doesn’t argue further, he immediately gets that something’s dangerous is going on, because if it makes Daisuke worry, that’s definitely not good. How can we be sure it’s gonna work? As they were being lead into the room, the guard explained that that was a NBC proof room: Nuclear Biological Chemical proof room. Which means it can withstand a nuclear blast, radiations, biological agents (viruses, bacteria, molds, other nasty living beings, organically poisonous compounds) and chemical agents (inorganic gases, hazardous solutions like strong acids or bases, explosives, corrosives etc…) because it’s airtight and has its own air and water independent reservoirs and systems. NOTHING can get in. Which also means that NOTHING can get out. Therefore, even if the gas is released, it’s contained.

For all the previously said things, that’s the reason Daisuke looks sad, discouraged and tired when he’s standing outside the embassy, with his hands in his pocket, his shoulder almost sagging down, the circle under his eyes darker than they have ever been. Because yes, you might not have noticed it but he always had those, except from ONE time, specifically one morning. I’ll let you guess which one… Then he snaps out of it hearing Suzue’s voice, probably not to worry her. Yes, I think that Suzue might be a watchdog, to make sure Daisuke fulfill his role and gets him out of trouble when he can’t, help him when he needs, but I think that as soon as he will be marked as not useful anymore, she might meet the same fate. She grew attached, she cares. Best girl might not even know it, and if she knows, she’s definitely doing her best to help him as much as she can. We all love you so much Suzue. Please don’t die. Please please please.

Episode 5 is the catalyst. Now Daisuke can’t trust anything anymore. He might not have done it in the first place, but now everything got shattered. If HEUSC has not authorized him, it means the AI butler is also monitoring the access. Which means Daisuke is gonna be under surveillance (or at least, stricter than it already was).

If episode 4 didn’t happen, Daisuke will be dead, or almost drowning in desperation, because he would have no one to turn to, no safe place to go to. We know this is not the case. We know Haru can help. Daisuke might not be a fan of this, and it might take a bit for him to put himself back together and explain, but we know it’s gonna happen. We know Haru is gonna listen, and he’s very much gonna want to help him. Now Daisuke knows it too, because he experienced it. We also know that Daisuke listens to Haur’s words, so I’m sure he remembers even Haru’s druk rambling about being a hero and a civil servant, and he’s gonna pull that out at some point. He might get something mixed up, since he was a bit fazed, but not enough not to flinch at Haru’s questioning… even if he wormed into the bathtub to sleep XD Best of all, he’s not even fazed by it. He just open his eyes and wakes up. Also, he sits by the table SLOUCHING. Kambe Daisuke. Slouching. In the morning. I love him so much. Haru taking care of him all the freaking way, feeding him and teaching him the ways of the peasant’s world. I love him just as much. Daisuke listens and processes; when Haru says him that, even if there’s almost no chance to find Shiro, he says that he’s gonna try regardless. Daisuke responds with “I see.”. Which means ‘You’ll keep trying, so I should do that as well.’ This is Japan guys. Read the air. There’s as much stuff unsaid that said.

A question is Kikuko then: is she best grandma or are we dealing with another Aizen situation (I made you strong so I could have a decent challenge)?

Nakamura Chosuke, Sir, you need to start singing soon…

Now, I have a very strong fear: in the OP, there’s the same scene repeating itself: at the beginning with Haru, Daisuke and Shizue in a room, then Haru is not there anymore. I’m still recovering from Banana Fish, and I watched it while it was airing…

Last thing, before I forget. About fangirls. You might have guessed, by the amount of word vomit I garbled over, that I am one as well. Everybody can react to the story as they want. I squeaked like a hamster too when I saw Daisuke wearing the ‘boyfriend outfit’, when he winced when he cut himself and licked his cut, when he waited for Haru to start eating before doing it himself, when he praised him for the cooking, when he understood why he replaced Shiro, when he lent him the money to return home, when he smiled to Hattori and Suzue, and when he used Haru’s natto recipes. I’m here for the ride as much as you are. I’m here for the fluff we’re obviously not gonna get. I’m here for a whipped Daisuke, wrapped around Haru’s finger, screaming in pain because of the loss, pleading to save the detective and take him instead. I’m here for the fall from grace, I’m here for him realizing he’s been living a beautiful nightmare, that justice is more than meets the eyes, that there’s so much more that he can be. I’m here for him realizing all of this with Haru being taken away, triggerim him into madness.

The wind exists even if you can’t see it.

[rogertaylcr]

Okay so maybe this is your exact point but like sex/groupies are fine as long as everything is consensual and all that? Like if you’re a horny rockstar and you literally have people throwing themselves at you then??? Also drugs and parties and booze and shit are also great. To each their own. But also I genuinely don’t see how being cool with groupies/excessive sex = anti feminism. I ABSOLUTELY don’t speak for every rock star when I say this seeing as a lot of them were definitely misogynists but I think a few (namely Roger) would definitely not fit in the misogynist category and could even be called a feminist of sorts. Idk who’s out here calling him “innocent” tho that’s fantastic dgkkgdlghdk. He clearly respected/respects women. Anyway finally I think cheating is a nasty thing to do but I’m not here to judge since it’s very personal and I find most of [Rogers] other attributes pretty admirable. Btw I definitely agree with what you say about people having skewed ideas of some of these guys, like literally no one is perfect and innocent especially not musicians and tbh I think when viewing these people realistically it’s even more satisfying to find someone who’s actually a good person (roger) and who has/had plenty of progressive views towards things

UH YEA TO BE EXTRA CLEAR I MEANT  CONSENSUAL   DRUGS AND SEX IN EXCESS IS FUN -- and yee you basically rephrased my point but in regards to the feminism thing, my point basically was that its naive for us to think that because these people were musicians and you know out of the corporate world they were somehow above the culture of the times - bottom line is most of the people we are talking about were white men in their 20s and 30s, working in an industry that was famous for abusing women, in a genre famous for degrading women, with unlimited access to drugs and sex,  its not realistic to think that you won’t find some bummer stories about ALL of these people -- and i dont see anything wrong with continuing to look up to people who have done things you dont agree with (within reason obvs, don’t stan rapists or smth) but I also think it’s unfair to pretend they NEVER did anything you wouldn’t consider morally pure (ESPECIALLY considering the life of excess these people lived, with the culture of the music industry then being INCREDIBLY sexualising and degrading towards women) -- no one person will ever meet that individual purity standard and this like habit people have of pretending there is no bad in these people (based on their own standards) and twisting bad stories about them to somehow be Actually A Perfect Example Of Why They’re Perfect, is weird to me -- I love roger, I obviously do not think he’s is a bad person, i dont think hes a misogynist, but I also dont think we need to take a story of him gifting a groupie of his to another musician like she was a party favour is something we need to try and spin into a feminist moment? ya know? if you expect every action and every word out of their mouths to line up with the morally superior image of them the internet has created you’ll always be disappointed and I’m finding some people just wont accept the disappointment and instead are talking in circles about why these things were misinterpreted or didn’t happen 

[punkinroses]

Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

[savrenim]

I gotta say I think my favorite part of Jeremy as a DM is that he takes the stupid half-jokes that I make offscreen and just. turns them into things for me. that also fit perfectly into the plot and the story seamlessly but feel special 

like I was making goddamn jokes about “okay but. but I want a bloodsword. we do blood magic. please. Jeremy. Jeremy what if I could make my blood into a sword. b l o o d s w o r d. I could go to parties and never be unarmed because mY BLOOD IS A SWORD. YOU CAN’T DISARM ME YOU WOULDN’T PART AN OLD ELF FROM HER BLOOD WOULD YOU, SO LONG AS I HAVE BLOOD I HAVE SWORD.” and then, like. because it was only half a joke and I got attached to the aesthetic I actively started planning on how to make one of my own, which was pretty much going to be that there are some shadow weapon spells either on the cleric/oracle or witch lists and I was just going to take one of those as I was leveling up in Caedic magic and request that because it’s blood magic can we please flavor it descriptively as being made of my blood and not of shadows like, just as a cool aesthetic piece, and I’d have my bloodsword. 

and then halfway through Book 4 Galen fucking Torus out of nowhere makes a really fucking rad bloodsword from his own blood and hands it to me and I kill a bunch of enemies of the Empire and feel hella cool and I go “c a n  y o u  t e a c h  m e” with starry eyes the next day and he goes “okay sure” and starts teaching me how to make a bloodsword and there are cool bloodsword mechanics and just. Iria Strell got a bloodsword. after I spent six months joking about it. this is an actual legitimate bloodsword not a cheap knockoff made from a flavored shadow spell, real genuine Caedic blood magic here.

and, like, there are a couple of other obvious things (I spent a while being excited about a Feat tree that I’ve now totally forgotten because I think I was looking for some weird way to add Int to attacks and there was something similar to feinting you used bluff for a round and I’ve forgotten about it because it became irrelevant because Iria has developed mechanical combat spurs that give her a pretty similar option, not a “sooo then in five levels I’ll be able to do this!”) I guess another one was joking for months okay not joking about how much in love I was with Arcadia Dominus and holy shit she liked me back and the “gay murder elf bachelorette” bit actually becoming a part of the campaign, this campaign got literally infinitely more gay because I made a dumb joke and then Jeremy went “okay” and followed up on it, we went from no gay to one of the longest running and at least emotionally important plotlines is “oh no Iria is so gay you utter disaster fire of a lesbian how are you going to mess everything up now because Pretty Girl”

but, like

the one that is hitting me really really strongly now-now is that I have been half-jokingly complaining for months and months that I regret So Much Iria Strell’s background as a minor noble because it limits the fanciness and quantity of dresses that I can get for her and goddamnit I want to put her in all the shiny things all of them and how Painful it is to pass all these cool costumes that I Want To Pull just in fashion posts and stuff but uuurgh I can’t because Iria Strell isn’t the sort of noble who would wear all those and she kind of isn’t allowed and that just goddamnit I need to make a character next game who whatever the context wears Cool Clothes so that I would get to actually do a shit-ton of character design and costume design 

and I am 1000% sure that this didn’t change from the original plans, like, the outlines have been in place for months well before I got obsessed with noble costuming, but the big objective of this book is Iria is investigating a maybe heresy/conspiracy that maybe involves nobles, and to do so, she has to go to a bunch of noble parties, and Galen Torus gave her an unlimited credit card and went “material resources are no worry go ham request whatever you want” and what her wardrobe is actively affects all the interactions she has with people and how well she can gather the information she needs to

which means that OOC I get the chance to design a full and changing wardrobe for Iria Strell to look cool as it is now her job as the secret leader of an investigation to actually do noble business and look pretty sometimes and talk to a bunch of nobles and go to parties but just. I’m limited in interesting ways by what is tasteful, but I have been given the full resources and an active in-character reason to utterly go ham on costuming, which makes me so excited as a person

and it’s just. super tiny details like this that idk make the games feel....more than just special? or maybe it’s that I’m not used to being listened to? like. the game is so good. I’m having so much fun. we have gotten to book 5 and it is once again the coolest fucking thing I could imagine. and so was book 4, and book 3, and book 2, and book 1. it is completely unnecessary to throw in tiny things like the bloodsword in order to make me happy and it is all done so....seamlessly? like. if one of my hunches is correct. the bloodsword and a ritual that Galen Torus performed telling Iria it would make her better at the bloodsword wHICH IT DID BUT THAT WAS NOT THE MAIN POINT OF THE RITUAL, THE MAIN POINT OF THE GODDAMN RITUAL WAS TO CONSECRATE PRIESTS AND PRIESTS HAVE MORE ACCESS TO BLOOD MAGIC SO A SIDE EFFECT IS BETTER THAN A BLOODSWORD BUT A CONSECRATED PRIEST IS A SUPER HIGH RANK AND THIS MAKES HER A CONSECRATED PRIEST AT AGE EIGHTEEN WHICH IS VERY VERY VERY UPSETTING TO HER AND POSSIBLY UNPRECEDENTED EARLY 30S IS CONSIDERED RIDICULOUSLY EARLY TO BE A CONSECRATED PRIEST FOR INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND FAST-CLIMBING CAREER-FOCUED NOBLES NOT A MINOR DISGRACED KIND OF EXILED LESBIAN DUMPSTER FIRE LIKE SHE IS

but consecrated priest thing aside and that being one way or another a major plot point and that coming so seamlessly and so perfectly a surprise from the fact that she asked an Exarch if he’d teach her how to make a bloodsword

again I’m pretty sure “Book 5 is noble politics book” was always going to be a thing so it’s not “oh Jeremy wrote it into the plot that I get to be ridiculous and pick out every single dress and everyday wear and hair and makeup for my character all the time multiple times a session and have that matter” because it was always abstractly going to matter as that matters as a part of being a Caedic noble but just 

here and is everything I wanted and was everything that I was totally joking about for months except no joke I just. get to do it. which I’m just actively so excited about. I guess it just...feels weird to me because I’m... sometimes used to making my own fun? or just, like, making things happen in my own life? there have been way too many “well if you want to survive it’s only you that you can rely on” situations not even in a bad sense of my life is horrible like. I could go on a rant about how I....not don’t trust people as people but don’t trust people to be 100% reliable and so always make a backup plan so that if a person falls through I can still get what I need done to be done and it’s just more pleasant for everyone involved if I don’t pin pressure on people or things? but in a different way I do the same thing for the games that I’m involved in, I will find things to make me have Feelings and will make my own fun and write letters and befriend NPCs and insist on staying in touch and, like...I dunno I guess I’m not used to trusting any world, be it fantasy or real, to give me what I want, if I want a thing I have to carefully plan and invest time and energy to earn and take it and be prepared to fail and just because Jeremy’s my friend and I goddamn narrate everything jokes or not of how I/my characters feel and “okay but here is the 1000th picture of a cool dress that I’m sending you and because Iria Strell doesn’t get to wear cool dresses we’ll say it’s the Gothicus Maximus Spring 2019 collection” and just

I guess I’m really not used to a world that cares about what I want

and, like, is sometimes fucking brutal Iria is dealing with slowly losing her mobility and ability to fight to an injury that was her fault and she is descending into a lot of really fun mental health places that push fun buttons and Marian is spelljammer and is Marian don’t even get me started on Marian’s family suddenly reappearing or just. characters from the thousands upon thousands of words of backstory showing up but just idk it feels like even when things are really brutal to the characters......the world is still kind to me? it’s aware of what I care about and it cares about me?

and I’m just so not used to the world being kind

I don’t need the world to be kind to love it. I love this world even with how fucked up and hard it is, and I love the games that I play and the stories that I get to be a part of without them caring about me at all, I don’t need them to care about me, that’s not why I’m playing

maybe I’m just hella tired and the move has been awful my old housemate gave me a deadline less than 12 hours before when there was never a deadline in our original conversations and then she and her mother were also going through my room and my stuff I guess to try to determine how quickly I’d get out of there but, like, I do not like it when people go through my stuff and there was a scare about the landlord selling the new place and the new landlord would have to honor the lease for a year but then maybe not wanting me to have my cats so suddenly for two days even my new living place was up in the air and I was already jet lagged and stressed and barely slept to try to finish a week’s worth of work that I was under the full impression I had a week to do in a day and a half and definitely sprained my ankle but got to keep walking on it and internet took forever to set up and trying to fix my furniture and all my stuff is in boxes and I’m still walking around on a twisted ankle because it’s just me there’s no one here to help me, if I want things to be okay and to get done I have to make them be done myself and these boxes need to be unpacked by Saturday morning because the landlord wants to fix the floor and just. I’m stressed and emotional so maybe I’m hella overreacting to “oh you like costumes? well an aspect of this book is noble interactions and parties so sure I’ll let you pick out literally every dress that you’re wearing” but it just

it matters so much to me

Jeremy is really really good at the DnD thing

[nemrut]

Untitled W.I.T.C.H. story

As I watched Cornelia, Irma and Matt step out of the portal, I frowned.

“Where are the others?” I asked, as I moved to hug Cornelia.

“Hay Lin had to help out at the Silver Dragon, Taranee was dragged along by her brother for something and Will’s mom kinda drafted her to assist with something work related. Honestly not sure, Will was yelling about needing rescue from evil paperwork and running but I’m not breaking into her mom’s workplace again. Red is on her own.”

“I love your teamwork,” I said, “Always so encouraging to see the Guardians of the Veil stepping up and show why it was them that were chosen to safeguard Infinity.”

Matt, the abandoned girls boyfriend rolled his eyes as Cornelia shoved me with a snort. “Shut up, you ditched us more than once for a sale.”

“And am I a guardian, Cornelia? Do you see me wearing these ridiculous tights?”

Irma clutched her chest as if her heart had been shot, a look of betrayal on her face. “How dare you! Ridiculous tights? It’s the finest fashion and armor Kandrakar has to offer.”

Cornelia was equally outraged. “We deposed the last ruler of this planet and we’ll do it again,” Cornelia threatened with a smile and I laughed.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Irma and leaned over the balcony to see a lot of construction going on. “What’re you building over there?”

I took a deep breath, knowing that this might not go over all that well.

“Phobos’ weird Star Gate thing, on a really small scale.”

Cornelia, Matt and Irma spun around looking at me, eyes wide and mouths open.

“I’m sorry, I think the last fold did something to my hearing. I could have sworn you said something like building a fold portal to earth.” Matt’s voice got a bit shrill which couldn’t have been good for his singing.

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“WHY!?”

“Look, guys, it’s very simple. Yes, I may be the Queen of an entire planet and have magical powers akin to a literal goddess, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss electricity or the internet. Or good plumbing. Or refrigerators. Or modern medicine. Or tampons, well, magic kinda makes that way more convenient actually, but for all the others who aren’t me, tampons would be neat. Which is most people here, basically everyone else. You know, modern technology and science. All the good stuff. I want it here. For me and for them. I’m a giver.”

“Why do you sound like a villain when you say it like that?” Irma asked raising an eyebrow which I ignored.

“I’m not going to steal anything or kidnap anyone. I am going to take gold and jewels from our treasury here, change them to earth currency and get a lot of books. Thankfully our languages are similar enough and the most difficult thing is coming up with stuff anyway. With that already handled, all we have to do is to learn how it is done and try to apply it here, without the mistakes that you people did, of course. Earth people are bad at this, you know. Would be cool to have everything without wrecking the planet and nature. Here I am hoping magic will do the trick.”

“You people?” Cornelia looked baffled and incredulous.

“That sounds great and all, but you really just want the internet back, right?”  asked Irma at the same time.

“Oh yes, so much. Movies, make-up, fashion, movies, games, music,  electricity in general. I need it back, guys!”

“You said movies twice. Also, I’m not learning how to build steam engines,” Cornelia said, crossing her arms. “As if I didn’t have anything better to do than uplift this backwater hellhole. No offence,” she hastily added.

“Yes offence but that’s not why I asked you morons here. If I wanted technical expertise, or any kind of expertise for that matter, I would have bribed Taranee here. No, you lemmings are going to, for now, work as my gophers. Take a few of my subjects and give them an earth crash-course until they know enough to make transactions.”

Matt took out his smartphone, pushed a few buttons and read something for a few seconds before he spoke. “I just checked my schedule and it seems I’m too busy for that Elyon. Looks like I’ve to do anything else but that. Sorry for that, would love to help but I really don’t want to. Solid talk we had and good luck.”

“What he said,” Irma pointed at Matt and Cornelia nodded.

“Hard pass, gorgeous.”

Well, it’s not like I expected them to be helpful, especially after they told me they had ditched Will the way Caleb had his mother in the necklace.

“Way to be helpful, guys. Here you are, lounging in the lap of luxury and privilege that is western civilization and refuse to do give even a little bit of time to help those in need. For shame.”

“Said the wealthy, magically powerful very much not elected monarch.” Irma wasn’t impressed but then again, she had always been a sharp one.

“Yeah, didn’t think you’d buy that line either.”

“Honestly, in all seriousness, that’s your long term goal? Get a few books and build stuff that is way above the technological level of this world? Never watched all that much Star Trek but seems to remember that it was a bad idea there.”

“Well, I’m going to be cheating a lot. With magic. Like, the portal thing is there so that the fold will be permanently open to allow for cables in-between worlds. So it will be less inventing the meridian internet but rather accessing the internet and electrical networks of earth.”

“That’s possible?”

“Well, I could plug in the charger of my phone with a fold between my bedroom here and on earth. And as long as the fold is open, I even get a weak wifi signal.”

“Aren’t you stealing internet?”

“Oh, is miss mind control trying to argue morals with me?”

“Objection retracted.”

“But no, I would have paid for the Brown house. Of course, if I want to set up things, would have to pay for other stuff but I would first need to research what I would need exactly. And how to make it so that no one wonders where it all goes to.”

“Imagine the whole different worlds thing gets blown because Aldarn was shitposting on Twitter.” Irma seemed amused at that and crackled after a few seconds thinking about that.

“So, you’re going to have your people toil away in order to give yourself access to youtube and facebook. What was the difference between monarchy and dictatorship again?” Matt asked.

“The difference is fuck you,” I replied, shooting him a cross glare. “And having electricity and warm water and modern sanitation and all that is going to help everyone as well.”

“Easy there, your majesty,” Irma was barely holding back her laughter. “You really have gotten quite demanding and bossy over the last few months.”

“What? No, I’ve not.”

“Elyon, sweetie, you have. It’s not bad or anything, but you did get a bit more-“

“Like Cornelia,” Irma helped her finish her sentence for which she was rewarded with a cute snarl.

I, on the other hand, was aghast. “I haven’t gotten that bad, did I?” my hands went to my cheeks.

“Oh, screw you two bitches! You wish you were half as awesome as me.”

“Who are you going to send to earth to learn earth customs?”

“Well, Caleb seems like a good choice. He already has a solid grasp on a lot of things and it’s not like he isn’t there enough. Might as well do something useful when he is there. You know, pleasing Cornelia should take only a few minutes, lots of free time afterwards.” Cornelia flipped me off, the rude tramp. “My parents are probably going to be the main people taking the helm on that one. They’ve lived there for years, they know it very well, they are already established and our house serves as a nice basis. And they’re adults, so, yeah, that tends to make things easier than having a seventeen year old try to do this shit.”

“What was this crap about us having to take care of newcomers then? Seems like we’re not needed at all.” Irma sounded confused.

“Well, it would be helpful. But truth to be told, I’d like your more…esoteric help. Mainly Will and Irma, really, so it’s too bad she isn’t here.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You wanted us to abuse our powers to grant you unlimited access to technological facilities and applications? Brainwash people and infiltrate computer systems? That’s what you wanted us for?”

“You make it sound worse than it is.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Elyon, you must have confused us for the Guardians of Corporate Espionage when we’re, in fact, very much not that!”

“You’re so dramatic,” I complained to Cornelia. “I know Irma uses her powers to let herself off easy with tests and oral examinations. How is that any better than me wanting you guys to fudge the numbers in order to help tens of thousands of people.”

“Oh yeah, you’re really desperate to give Aldarn and the rest of the Rebellion access to porn and catvideos.”

Matt, Cornelia and I laughed at that and Irma flashed us a confident grin.

“Oh boy, I would pay to see that, to be honest,” Matt said, not even trying to reign in his grin.

“Not going to lie, porn would be a huge success here,” I admitted, “think it definitely has potential as a business endeavor but we don’t want to go too fast. Folks are in some ways a bit more conservative. It’s a medieval setting, after all.”

“You know,” Irma started, “I always wondered how close they are to our world.”

“Well, racism isn’t really a thing between humans, seeing they are living together with countless other races and this world has been aware of Kandrakar and other worlds for quite a while. That said, it still very much exists with regards to shapeshifters and other life forms. Lurdens as well. And whatever Tracker was.”

“How come they still haven’t technologically progressed if Kandrakar has been connecting them to so many different worlds?” Cornelia wondered.

“Phobos didn’t make things easier on that regard but before that, no idea. Maybe they like the aesthetic?”

“Well, Kandrakar isn’t exactly high tech either,” Matt said, scratching his chin. “I mean, it’s pretty much monks in robes and aether and whatnot.”

“But mostly because they have magic, right? No need for an electric heater if you can just magic the right temperature and stuff. Light, communication, heat, whatever, everything can be done by magic. Why bother with technology?” I said. “Which is different to here, because not every citizen is a wizard or sorcerer. And no magic in the world can replace YouTube, so, yeah. I want this done.”

Really, it was like herding cats with them. Every time I had them to a teensy thing, they started complaining and bickering.

[rhegar]

Show!Rhaegar: You’re Not Really Meant to Look That Deeply into Him.

Or, How Game of Thrones Bastardized Rhaegar to Unbastardize Jon. 

So, now that I can finally access the internet from my computer for an unlimited amount of time, I wanted to write down what you’re meant to make of show!Rhaegar, why he annulled his marriage to Elia (even though that shouldn’t even be possible) and how close he is to being book!Rhaegar. And while we’re at it, let me tell you all the reasons why book!Rhaegar would never do such a thing (even if he could.)

I have definitely gotten a lot of inspiration and ideas from @lyannas and @oadara especially about annulment and the complications of Jon being and then not being a bastard, and gotten a lot of useful info from A Wiki of Ice and Fire.  So huge thanks <3 The article contains mentions of rape and dubious consent. 

To begin this, we need to take a look back on what the show has made of Rhaegar so far, and the differences between the show and the book depictions. 

1. In season one, Robert mentions Rhaegar’s kidnapping of Lyanna, but not in detail, just that Rhaegar did something bad to Lyanna. At the end of the season, in episode 10, Bran mentions specifically that Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna and that Robert started a war for that and killed him, but Lyanna died. Somewhere in the middle of the season, Jorah mentions that Rhaegar was the last dragon while “Viserys is less than the shadow of a snake” painting Rhaegar, for the first time on the show, in a positive light. 

Now, one thing in season one that interested me that nobody else ever notices (or if they do notice, they never talk about it) is when Jon was having a talk with Aemon. I always watched this conversation carefully as it is the first time that Jon communicated with a Targaryen and heard him speak of the family. One odd thing that Aemon said that I noticed is, (as well as I can remember) “But when I heard how they murdered my brother’s son, and his poor son, and the children... even the little children,” and then Aemon later clarifies the line of the latest Targaryen kings on the show, saying that his father was Maekar, and then Aemon’s brother Aegon V (Egg) ruled after him, and then came his son Aerys. This is unlike the books where Aerys is actually the son of Jaehaerys II, not Aegon V, so there’s a king in between that the show skipped. 

Back to the first quote now. When Aemon said “They killed my brother’s son,” he was talking about Aerys. “And his poor son,” that’s Rhaegar. Why would Aegon talk about Rhaegar especially that way? Was there some type of connection between them? Why would Aemon sympathize with Rhaegar especially? In the books, we know that Aemon exchanged letters with Rhaegar, but on the show, Aemon is now dead and we never knew (unless there’s going to be a flashback or if someone is going to find Rhaegar’s letters in Aemon’s records at Castle Black, but I don’t personally think the show gives so much regards to continuity or that Castle Black is going to exist for very long at all.)

2. In season 3, Barristan gives Dany a talk about Rhaegar and how he fought at the battle of the trident and how his men died for him because they believed in him and loved him. Again, Rhaegar is painted in a positive light, as a charismatic and well-loved leader who inspired loyalty. 

3. In season 4, the very first episode. Oberyn finally appears to give us the perspective of Elia’s family on Rhaegar’s deeds. Oberyn calls Rhaegar “beautiful and noble” sarcastically and says that he left Elia for another woman after Elia had been nothing but good and kind to him and his children. He also went as far as to say that Elia loved Rhaegar. What kind of love did he mean? Did she truly love Rhaegar or was she “fond” of him? We can’t tell. 

4. In season 5, the writers seemed to be in a hurry to catch up with reminding us who Rhaegar is, by inserting talks about him twice in one episode, for pretty long conversations. That is, of course, episode 4, in which Littlefinger tells Sansa the story of the tourney of Harrenhal as we all know it, quite objectively, and then asks, “How many men had to die because Rhaegar chose your aunt?” and Sansa replies, “Yes, he chose her, and then he kidnapped her and raped her.” The second time he is mentioned in that episode shows how much contrast there is between the two ways people see Rhaegar, when Barristan again paints him in a positive light by telling Dany that he liked to walk among the people, sing to them, give money to orphans and poor singers, and that he never liked killing, but loved singing. 

5. And of course, in season six, came the (bastardized) conversation between Ned and the three (now two) Kingsguard at the ToJ, most importantly Arthur. Ned reminds them of Rhaegar’s defeat and asks them why they weren’t there to protect him, and Arthur replies that Rhaegar wanted them at the ToJ. And at the end of the season, Bran presses play and we resume watching this scene, leading up to the big R+L=J reveal. 

6. In season seven, we are told that he (somehow????) convinced the High Septon at the time to annul his (four-year, consummated) marriage to Elia and married him to Lyanna (or to “someone else” as Gilly puts it, but we all know it’s Lyanna) in a secret ceremony in Dorne. 

So, what has the show missed?

1. In all of this, there isn’t a peep about the prophecy, when in the books we are told three times that Rhaegar cared about it and it motivated his actions a great deal: a. At the House of the Undying b. When we’re told that he found a scroll that changed his life and made him feel that he “must become a warrior” and c. When Maester Aemon discusses his communications with Rhaegar concerning the prophecy with Sam. So, as much as the show is concerned, Rhaegar never even heard the word prophecy, and would think The Prince that Was Promised was the name of a rock band if he heard of him. 

So, the part of Rhaegar’s character that escaped with Lyanna because they must have a child together who is ice + fire (and I plan on exploring why this had to be the case, why Lyanna specifically when he could have had a third child on any milkmaid or handmaiden on Dragonstone with no political consequences) basically doesn’t exist on the show. Show!Rhaegar was NOT motivated by the prophecy (and I know one could argue that he is but we just haven’t heard that yet, but I personally find it weird that we haven’t heard about this whatsoever in seven seasons, when we could have seen the scene at the HotU or at least been told by Aemon or even Barristan).

2. Rhaegar as a melancholic (potentially clinically depressed) person and an intellectual scholar is not mentioned. Again, in the books, those are important aspects of Rhaegar’s personality that also seemed to motivate his actions and affect his way of thinking. 

3. Rhaegar as a politician is not mentioned. We don’t hear anything about the rift between him and his father, his plans to establish a regency/overthrow Aerys, his possible involvement in organizing the tourney of Harrenhal, and the fact that he held his own court at Dragonstone and had his own backing. Show!Rhaegar doesn’t seem to have politics in mind much either.

So, what does the show tell us about Rhaegar?

That Rhaegar never once thought of himself as a prophetic figure/a father to one. That he was a man who liked the smallfolk and mingling with them. That Rhaegar was charismatic, well-loved, the last dragon, and seemed like a sympathetic figure to someone as smart as Maester Aemon. And finally, that he ran away with Lyanna Stark and annulled his marriage for her, and at this point, only one reason for that is left by process of elimination: Love. 

So, basically what the show did, is try to simplify Rhaegar into someone that the viewer doesn’t need to look too deeply into. He was a spirited singer who didn’t care about politics but loved the people (who here wants to bet that show!Rhaegar also called all the nobles fake, made fun of fat noblewomen and made a lot of dick jokes?) and he was married to Elia for political reasons/because he needed to marry someone, but along came Lyanna Stark, he fell in love, and set aside everything (including his own family) to marry her, not even caring about all the political repercussions because, hey, he’s spirited! And all the nobles are fake! Who cares about politics, kids? Of course he later paid with his life and the lives of his entire family, but who cares, still got laid.

It’s basically the same thing that the show did with Jaime. Take a complex character that has a core struggle and a life mission, simplify it into a one-dimensional character that doesn’t really require any effort to understand or depict. The writers of the show know that they don’t have nearly as much talent or IQ as it takes to depict either of them with their full complexity and depth in the books, so they simplified things up for themselves and for the members of the audience that don’t really want to look too deeply into things either. 

Now, if we look completely away from Rhaegar... why would the showmakers do this whole annulment nonsense, you say? Why did they waste screentime on it and energy writing it? Because Jon Snow is their favorite, and bastardy is such a bad thing (not just an invented and bigoted Westerosi social stigma) that, on his nameday, they decided to take it away and give him legal rights to a kingdom that he never wanted, fought for or thought of having. Even though bastardy wouldn’t have affected his ability to be a hero, and even though we already have a legal claimant with an army and three dragons, who’s struggled and fought plenty for that kingdom, there’s a small problem: She’s a woman, and she’s not everyone’s favorite like Jon Snow is. Must keep the ratings up, guys. 

Now, as to all the reasons why book!Rhaegar would never annul his marriage to Elia (even if it were possible, which it isn’t, because their marriage was beyond a shadow of doubt consensual and consummated, and Rhaegar needs to be a king to set her aside and take another wife, which he wasn’t yet. Source) (UPDATE: Linda Antonsson, a writer who has collabed with GRRM on A World of Ice and Fire and is very familiar with ASOIAF content, has said on twitter in criticism for the episode that the idea of an annulment is bizarre and that it would be very difficult for Rhaegar to obtain one and the fact that those “records” exist in the citadel is very odd. I also asked her if she knows for sure that an annulment would make Rhaenys and Aegon bastards, and she said there’s no definite answer but it’s likely that yes. Her twitter)

1. Let’s assume that Rhaegar absolutely held no value for Elia whatsoever and had no problem giving her the ultimate humiliation of annulment. Elia is a princess of Dorne, and Dorne has only ever joined the fold of Westeros by marriage. No Targaryen king was able to defeat Dorne and forcibly make it kneel to him. If Elia is returned to Dorne with such an insult as setting her aside, this threatens that Dorne might disassociate itself from the rest of Westeros again, taking away a huge asset from Rhaegar (the Dornish were his biggest allies against his father.)

2. For reasons mentioned here by Lyannas, it’s most likely that this annulment would result in Rhaenys and Aegon to become bastards. Not only would Rhaegar not do that to his children who are also important prophetic figures to him (two heads of the dragon) but also it threatens civil war in the future. If Dorne decides to not only remove itself from Rhaegar’s backing but also align themselves behind Aegon against Lyanna’s (”legitimate”) children in the case that Rhaegar does become the king and the line of succession continues normally, a civil war similar to the Blackfyre Rebellion could break and the future of House Targaryen will be majorly threatened. Who has time for that when you’re trying to stop a zombie apocalypse? 

Book!Rhaegar may have been a lot of things, but he wasn’t that big an idiot as to jeopardize his future on the throne and the future of his children like this. But of course, show!Rhaegar who was practically an idiot had no problem with all that.

I want to conclude by saying that we have been looking at show!Rhaegar the wrong way. We’ve all had book!Rhaegar in mind while thinking about show!Rhaegar, but the truth is, they’re two completely different people. And while book!Rhaegar is smart and sensible enough to know that he couldn’t and shouldn’t annul his marriage to Elia, show!Rhaegar, who is merely a wasteful bastardization of everything that Rhaegar is, totally would. He’s a miracle man who was able to obtain an annulment from a marriage as steady as rocks because he’s THE Rhaegar Targaryen. And while thousands of metas and rereadings have been done to understand the dilemma of book!Rhaegar, show!Rhaegar only needs you to clear your mind of book!Rhaegar, forget about any depth or intellect or savior complex, watch the show, and enjoy his jackassery. 

Oh, poor George...

[go-redgirl]

What Millennials Get Wrong About Social Security Fox Business ^ | August 29, 2019 | Liz Weston

Few issues unite millennials like the future of Social Security. Overwhelmingly, they’re convinced it doesn’t have one.

A recent Transamerica survey found that 80 percent of millennials, defined in the survey as people born between 1979 and 2000, worry that Social Security won’t be around when they need it. That’s not surprising — for years, they’ve heard that Social Security is about to “run out of money.”

The language doesn’t match the reality. Social Security benefits come from two sources: taxes collected from current workers’ paychecks and a trust fund of specially issued U.S. Treasury securities. This trust fund is scheduled to be depleted in 2034, but the system will still collect hundreds of billions in payroll taxes and send out hundreds of billions in benefit checks. If Congress doesn’t intervene, the system can still pay 77 percent of projected benefits.

In any case, chances are good Congress will intervene, as it did in 1977 and 1983, to strengthen Social Security’s finances. Social Security is an enormously popular program with bipartisan support and influential lobbies, including the immensely powerful AARP, looking out for it.

Still, millennials who believe Social Security won’t be there for them could make bad choices about their retirement Opens a New Window.savings. The worst outcome would be if they didn’t save at all, convinced retirement was hopeless. But any of the following myths could cause problems.

‘I can save enough to retire even without Social Security’

Good luck with that.

Currently, the average Social Security benefit is just under $1,500 a month. You would need to save $400,000 to generate a similar amount. (That’s assuming you use the financial planners’ “4 percent rule,” which recommends taking no more than 4 percent of the portfolio in the first year of retirement and adjusting it for inflation after

(Excerpt) Read more at foxbusiness.com

TOPICS: Business/Economy

KEYWORDS: ponzischeme

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INDIVIDUALS: COMMENTS/POSTS:

To: rintintin Millennials, lol. Too many have no clue how to save. It’s spend, spend, spend right now.

29 posted on 8/31/2019, 9:21:15 AM by bgill ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: rintintin Oh, good grief. I just saw the Austin, TX loony liberals, aka millennials, have to have an app to remind them to take the garbage to the curb. If they can’t think ahead a week for garbage pick up, they certainly can’t think ahead to retirement.

30 posted on 8/31/2019, 9:50:48 AM by bgill ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: rintintin In any case, chances are good Congress will intervene, as it did in 1977 and 1983, to strengthen Social Security’s finances. i take it that means raising both the retirement age and SS "contributions"

31 posted on 8/31/2019, 9:56:33 AM by Chode (Send bachelors, and come heavily armed!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Sequoyah101 “SS is already income indexed just as medicare is. Just so we get that straight. The “rich” have already paid in more to both programs by a long shot and will already get less out after taxes and medicare premiums than anybody else. I know the urge to eat the “rich” is overwhelming to most.”

Business owners and individual contractors pay double SS and medicare $’s/taxes.

I took early retirement at 56 years old. I didn’t work for a year. Then, I consulted as an independent contractor. I made great gross pay and no way to shelter it except via and IRA.

Our CPA told us that I needed to deposit every other pay check into an escrow account to pay for my quarterly US/Cali pay roll taxes and my doubled SS and Medicare taxes as an independent contractor.

When I turned 62, she told me to quit work and work on our 401k’s and IRA’s and take SS. 19 years later, I’m still drawing SS and still alive.

My wife worked until she was 70 something and past the SS penalty age. She made all types of deals re not having medical insurance as my policy covered her. Also, she was able to pay more into her 401 K and SS.

Both of us started paying into the SS program when we were teenagers. She paid SS for about 60 years and medicare whenever it became a taxable item. I maxed out on my SS payments every year after I was 20.

We are not by ourselves.

32 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:20:25 AM by Grampa Dave ( Here's the Formula: Hatred +ut Government + Disarmed Civilians = Genocide !) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: genghis I don’t know any 22 year old people making $100k/yr.

Saving 14.5% a year is hard but doable - just don’t have any kids.

No one is making 10% on savings.

33 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:21:11 AM by 1FreeAmerican ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Chode It would take 60+ GOP senators in 2021. Amazing how you get a room full of people and the looney-bins get their chance to speak out.

34 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:28:31 AM by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: 1FreeAmerican “I don’t know any 22 year old people making $100k/yr.”

Computer programming fields. Lots of 22 year old making $100+k.

Lots of people also saving over 14.5% when it is pre-tax 401k. I know people putting away 46%, the limit.

35 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:42:26 AM by CodeToad ( Hating on Trump is hating on me and Americans!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: CodeToad; 1FreeAmerican A four year degree in Logistics can easily pay a newbie $100k.

36 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:48:39 AM by mad_as_he$$ (Beware the homeless industrial complex.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: mad_as_he$$ OK, ya got my curiosity.. What job in logistics pays $100k? Not doubting you, I’m just not familiar.

37 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:54:09 AM by CodeToad ( Hating on Trump is hating on me and Americans!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To: a fool in paradise "There are even Leftists saying that 401k plans should be grouped together and shared." That, would be the beginning of a second overt civil war. However, if they want to play that game, then let's go after all their sacred cows:

Take away ALL government/public pensions and share that money with the general population - particularly with all people who have no pension.

Take away ALL university endowments, and share that money with the population and to pay off all student loans.

Levy a 60% tax on ALL 'entertainment' profits - including a 60% tax on all money paid out to 'entertainers' after the first $800,000. This money will then go into a general fund to share with all 'aspiring artists' - to 'promote the arts'. Surely all those in the 'arts' who keep talking about how important supporting the arts is will be happy to be taxed heavily for this.

Levy a similar tax on all 'sports' profits, using the money to promote youth sports and women's sports etc. This would include a 60% tax on all athletes salaries over $1 million/year. I'm sure those who are taking a knee in the NFL, for example, would be very supportive of taking their salaries for the greater good.

Declare that in order to ensure all people receive equal 'justice', all deserve equal quality legal representation. Thus call for 'single payer' national legal insurance, and make it such that everyone gets an attorney chosen for you (sorry, if you can't keep your doctor, you can't keep your lawyer). In order to 'make it fair', we will have to also do away with all 'private' legal services. ALL attorneys would thus work for the 'single payer' legal system.

Declare that 'being informed', and having access to 'news' is a basic human right, and that to ensure we have enough independent people collecting the news, and to promote a diversity of news sources, all news 'anchors' should have their salaries taxed at 70% after the first $800,000/yr. Also, to ensure that the news is truthful, laws should be passed that make it easier to sue news agencies and their individual employees if they pass along unverified or false 'information'. The 'single payer' legal insurance will help with this.

This is just for starters, because hypocrisy is almost unlimited on the left.

38 posted on 8/31/2019, 10:55:07 AM by neverevergiveup ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To: CodeToad It’s weird if you search the pay for a specialist they are listed at around $50k. But I recently had to try and hire a GOOD logistics person that was a NCG. They were all sucked up by the big internet companies with packages that totaled around 100k. My area is hot for this skill so that maybe a driving factor. The ones from the local universities were recruited as college Juniors and awarded scholarships etc. Crazy stuff.

39 posted on 8/31/2019, 11:00:33 AM by mad_as_he$$ (Beware the homeless industrial complex.)

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[ichocolatic]

MY ONLY, ULTIMATE, UNLIMITED AND HEAVENLY WIFI

Day #006

January 23, 2017

A few weeks ago, I was listening to a CD that recorded a certain Christian humanity class in 2009 that belongs to one of our churches' school. The lecturer, talked about how God wants each of us to have this focus on our life, to walk according God's purpose and that we have to see through His eyes to know what He wants. "Dream big, expect something in your life. Get something you're able to do it with God," she said. Even we're tired, it's all the effort we've made by focusing on our life a purpose that God has given us.

According to her lecture, less than 3% of students in Yale know their life's purpose and ends up achieving great things because they know what they're going to do with it. The rest 97% of the graduates lived aimlessly without any special purpose to live for. She concluded that this could happen to us too when we don't have fear of the Lord. The 'fear' that she was talking about didn't mean as in scare, but our respect and honor for God because of His love towards us. When we don't have this fear of the Lord and ignores it, we'll be bored with life and become a useless individual as it is said in Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction..." If we don't love God, we can't see what He sees. We have to focus on our life and aligns it according to God's will.

From this point, I wondered, how do I know what God wants in my life if I couldn't even listen to His voice? I realize that the concept of heeding to His voice is just the same like how a phone reached its maximum usage when there's Wifi. A gadget becomes something useless once there is no connection to the internet. Our life is something dead when we do not have this connectivity to its Maker. God is the Author of our life and we are the actors. When something ugly happens, we act. That's where we have the courage to step out in order to fulfill His purpose. How? The answer is through the Holy Spirit. "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you," says John 14:26.  

Some of you may think of something like  "Geez... What's this Holy Spirit thing?"  or "Why does this starting to sound weird?" If I can explain it in a simple way, I'd like to say that the Holy Spirit is some kind of 'mini-Jesus' God has put in each of our hearts (I always put it this way each time my life group members and I talked about the Holy Spirit). This mini-Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, keeps us in touch with The Unlimited Wifi, who is Jesus alone.

We cannot hear God's voice if we do not have a close relationship with God. Maybe we already have the Holy Spirit inside us, but it is switched off and its signal cannot reach The Ultimate, Heavenly Wifi. I was often too busy with my assignments and daily routines, so unconsciously I didn't allow God to have access to my thoughts or speak to me. It often happens.  

Once, I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night. So I asked Him, 'God, what do you want to tell me?' I tried to listen over and over again, but I didn't hear a thing (FYI, God's voice is inaudible because He knows that you'll immediately freaks out if it is). I was totally frustrated. I started to worry about my life's problems that I'll face later on. Then, suddenly out of nowhere, a small, familiar voice spoke to me from my heart. 'I will take care of it,' it said. I was really startled because I wasn't thinking about that sentence at all. But it just literally popped out and spoke to me. Wow. That must be Him, I thought. I felt so relieved and fell asleep right away.  

My experience above was one of the moments where I allowed God to have access through the Holy Spirit. In the beginning of that experience, I had difficulty hearing Him because sometimes I wasn't totally committed to have a personal time with Him. Sometimes I tried to spend one of the best 15 minutes in my life before going to bed, but it turned out that my gadgets were the greatest distractions. Usually I would end up scrolling through my Instagram feed or checking my Facebook timeline. It is just the same like when you spend quality time with your friend, but you're too busy staring at the phone's screen and forget that he exists right in front of your table. That's how it works. Can you hear what He wants to say? No. Do you even talk with Him? No. Do you blame things on Him? Yes, because You don't know what is His purpose in placing you in that kind of life's situation ("But My people would not heed My voice... So I give them over to their own stubborn heart, to walk in their own counsels." - Psalm 81:11-12).

Without the sensitivity toward God's voice, we are clueless to His will in our lives. That's why it is very important to see what He sees and become those who achieve something big like those 3% of the Yale graduates. Don't be one of those 97% students. Take the challenge and live life to its fullest. Fulfill God's purpose and make Him as your only source of ultimate, unlimited and heavenly Wifi.  

[rueur]

Morning Pages No. 60

Sunday 23rd August - 5:30pm

I left yesterday’s entry at almost three or four lines away from the end of the third page, because work just got crazy busy and before I knew it, it was 5pm and I got to head home. Evan and I skipped the family zoom call last night too, I mean the Sarah’s People zoom call. It was Nichole’s time to host and I felt a bit bad about it, especially when Amy messaged about an hour after us saying that she wasn’t going to make it last night either. The way I saw it though, was I was working like crazy and I didn’t want to be too tired for Sarah’s meditation session that was scheduled for this morning. We ended up attending Sarah’s meditation, and Nichole, Courtney, and Amy all weren’t in attendance. I feel as though maybe they would’ve attended the 4:30pm yin yoga class that was scheduled by Shannon, Sarah’s yoga teacher mate, so they still got to experience a bit of positivity and zen today. I do genuinely feel bad about missing the zoom session last night, but part of me also feels like Nichole doesn’t really care either way whether we’re there or not. More specifically, I suppose whether I’m there or not. I get the sense that I’m not her favourite person and it’s difficult for me to say that, even to myself. I feel as though I have a bit of a complex with her after Dan lived with us. We were always around each other for a good chunk of last year, and I just never felt like we clicked in all that time. She gets on really well with Amy and I’m really glad for that, though. I’m glad she has a friend in our group, even if it isn’t me, and I do mean that.

Honestly though, I’ve just been enjoying how much Sarah is in my life right now. She’s only ever been a great source of friendship and inspiration for me, and this rings true through this 21 Day challenge. I felt a bit off during the meditation session she hosted this morning, I mean I couldn’t be as sociable as I wanted to be on camera, which was a bit regretful for me. I couldn’t really talk to Braden and I SO WANTED TO. I miss Braden. I think he’s a really cool person, and I am looking forward to hanging out with him in future. AND ALF. I miss Alf so much. I feel like Alf just got me. Oh my lord, I want to do MD with all these people again. If our house was in any way both comfy and accessible, I’d have people over here as soon as humanly possible. I’m cherishing what we have left of lockdown, because I can recognise this time as a valuable resource for young people like me, who are trying to get a certain aspect of their lives up and running, i.e. career stuff or setting up good habits for the sake of good health and longevity. But I can still appreciate this time AND wish that it will come to a swift end before the summer. I don’t want to spend the holidays like this. I believe it’ll crush me. I’ve been singing Christmas carols kind of incessantly, but Evan’s found it endearing, thank the heavenly lord almighty. I’m starting to feel, though, that my singing Christmas carols is getting a bit foreboding, like maybe I’m celebrating Christmas in my head all year round because there’s not going to be an actual Christmas this year. I need to get Wren a birthday present. I’m waiting on my cross-stitch order to come in. I’m really excited to get that started. But I also want to keep the hoops, so I think I might frame the finished hot air balloon cross-stitch. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find a good frame somewhere right now.

I also want to talk to Malith. I’ve been wanting to call him for the past week, but the time just keeps getting away from me. Maybe I should give him a ring tonight after my class with Bindee. We’ll most likely be finishing Romeo & Juliet tonight, and the class will most likely be going overtime again, but I’m okay with that. I just hope Malith will be. We’ll see if we can fit a conversation in at some point today. I should charge my phone...it’s losing battery quite quickly now. It's been approaching two years since I bought this phone, so I believe an upgrade may be in order soon. Definitely outright. I don’t want to be paying for a plan or anything, I mean this broadband plan is more than enough as it is. I’m paying $90 a month for unlimited internet on the nbn, and it’s been doing my head in, especially through lockdown. Not only has Telstra given other customers on the 500GB limit plan unlimited data during the lockdown because everyone’s home now, but they’ve also given absolutely no extras to the people who are ALREADY PAYING FOR UNLIMITED DATA. And the internet is still pretty shitty, like I have to use my mobile data on a near-daily basis. I had all this Belong data banked up and it’s just been dwindling away, to the point where I know I’ll inevitably have to be bumped back up to the 10GB a month plan and not the 1GB plan I’ve been on for the bulk of the year. I don’t want to pay an extra $15 a month though, screw that noise. I’m a tight arse, eh?

I just got a text from Sam, Wren’s partner. I sold them an Asus R17 gaming laptop and a Logitech G502 Hero mouse yesterday via the phone sales app, so they’ve been pretty grateful for that. They just sent me a photo of the stuff on their bed. This part of my job is by far the only part that keeps me going. I get to help people, I get to save them money, and people feel genuinely grateful towards me and my position. Sales can be weird and selfish and TERRITORIAL at the worst of times, but at the best of times I do get to feel like the empath I am. I do get to feel like I’m in a place where I can actually do good and feel good. 

It’s surprising how much faster I’m getting through these pages than I was through yesterday’s. I’m at home, and I’m just sitting here in the dark at my place at the head of the dining table, in front of the fireplace and in front of my whiteboard. The window is to my right, and the trees across the road are waving slightly to and fro in the breeze. Michael the mannequin is staring off into the distance and having a good old time, and Nicky is to my left on the green couch that’s followed Evan across the plains of time and space, sleeping on his electric blue and pink-padded Nike jacket. It’s clearly an incredibly warm jumper, and that’s why this cat is constantly on top of it or sandwiched inside it. We mentioned Nicky quite a bit in a family zoom call Evan and I have just finished up with, and this time with the actual family too. Christina, Barney, Mundell, Evan, and I were chatting from about 4pm till a bit before 5:30pm, and when that finished up, I decided it was about time that I do my pages for the day. I put it off this morning because I was still feeling tired, and I figured it might be best if I write directly after meditation. But that never happened and we ended up watching the rest of Season 5 of New Girl instead. Now we’re up to Season 6 and I’ve rapidly come to realise that the last season is only 6 or 7 episodes...or 8...long, so Season 6 is BASICALLY the last season and I am pumped. Of course, I already know it ends with Nick and Jess getting together, but I want to see it unfold in front of me and I want to see it now, so I don’t have to watch TV all the time anymore, even though I know that I will still always be watching TV when I’m not doing work or walking Lonzo, because it’s a surefire way of getting my dumb ass overactive brain to shut the fuck down. I’m worried about how much I’ve been working lately, and usually for such a little reward. And I thought I would be doing more work on the website today, but I don’t think that’s going to happen now anyway. I need to give myself a bit of a break, even though I have Bindee in about an hour. It’ll most likely be less than an hour once I finish these pages up. Or perhaps not, I’m actually making some pretty good progress right now.

I don’t know what to say right now, I don’t know what I’m thinking. I’m thinking maybe about Penny, my Abundance Accountability Buddy. She said her mum had to go to the hospital and that’s why she couldn’t reply to me over the weekend. I also found out a little bit more about her through the introduction that Sarah posted in the 21 Days discussion page. Apparently she’s an occupational therapist! And she did martial arts with Sarah too. Sarah wrote that she has ‘super powers’ in her prelude to Penny’s personally penned introduction. I love the alliteration I did there, that was epic. I am enjoying flexing my writerly muscles here and there. Teaching has been fun as of late. I’m set to make about $110 from teaching this week, because I had Dinel & Seni, Dinel, and Bindee. $50 + $30 + $30. All the littlies. Dinel had an extra class organised on Friday to help out with some debate prep. He’s joined the school’s debate team and his first topic is ‘bottled water should be banned’. Thankfully he’s on the affirmative team, so the arguments were quite easy to put together, and I feel like he’s gotten the hang of debating rather quickly. The issue is that the school isn’t using the RIGHT debate structure, like the first speaker isn’t considered the ‘leader’, and the third speaker has to do all the rebuttals AND the concluding statement, which just isn’t right. The first speaker should both open and close, so the brunt of the work doesn’t fall to the poor third speaker. I’m not too fussed about this, though. I mean, Dinel’s first debate tournament will be over zoom anyway, which sounds like it’ll be an...experience. I’m not sure. I want another cat. But I also do not. I want a house.

Christina and Barney spoke about us potentially buying a house briefly today. They seem glad that it’s a goal we’ve clearly set for ourselves at this young point in our lives. I’m hopeful that with another few years of hard work and saving like crazy, we’ll be able to realise this dream. Newfound dream for Evan, but a bit of a lifelong one for me. It’s been 5:59pm for ages now. I’m just watching the clock on the bottom of my screen and waiting...it went to 6pm finally. I swear that when I started this paragraph, it had been 5:59 for a whole three minutes. It was an age. I’ve been typing for about a half hour now, which means I can do around ten minutes per page. That’s not half bad, but I don’t want to start every day off with a half hour of writing. I just question the sustainability of this practice. Maybe I should bring it down to two...FUCK. I told myself I wouldn’t do this until at least after the 21 Days. It’s day 7. I’ve made it this far. I can wait another two weeks before I reassess. That being said, I’m ending this here. I’m going to start getting ready for Bindee. Just reached page 4 anyhow.

[recentanimenews]

Review: Pokémon Sword and Shield

Pokémon has moved forward several half-assed steps at a time, and that’s not a criticism. The series has existed comfortably in its own bubble and where other games would get lambasted for looking inward, Pokémon has thrived on reiteration and the slow crawl of minor innovations to the template. Pokémon games primarily get compared to other Pokémon games and no one expects the series to change drastically from its rock-solid fundamentals after so many years. Even as people forget weird features like poffins and Pokémon Musicals, they can take solace in the notion that even the jankiest gimmicks all work towards crafting the definitive Pokémon game, whatever that might look like in the future. Well, that future died with the announcement that Sword and Shield would mark the end of the full Pokémon roster and we would all need to leave the old “gotta catch ‘em all” mantra in the past.

I.

Pokémon Sword and Shield is the eighth generation in the mainline series of games and the first to appear on home console. It’s set in the Galar region, a place inspired by the art director’s experiences as a youth growing up in the United Kingdom. Players assume the role of a silent protagonist chasing the dream to become the Pokémon Champion, a lofty goal that is pursued with much more fervor by the player’s rival, a perennial loser named Hop who is also the current champion’s younger brother. In my mind, the player character I created, a young Pokémon trainer named Tomoyo, has lived the entirety of her life stuck in this one-Pokémon Center town knowing nothing more about the world other than what’s filtered down to her through Hop’s experiences in the comforting shade of the champion’s cape. Her growth into a person with her own story to tell spurred me on to leave home but unfortunately Hop won’t be shaken off so easily.

Even as Hop is vaunted as a formidable rival, he crumbles within seconds of any given Pokémon match against the player character and typically loses to other mid-card trainers off-camera. Loser rivals have become a staple of the series ever since Game Freak decided to let players hold type advantage over the rival’s starter Pokémon a few generations ago. For the most part, this hasn’t been a problem as balanced team-building has to grow from the initial Grass-Fire-Water triangle of effectiveness. The purpose of the rival has always been to test the player’s progress against what’s to come, gating off high-level areas until the player proves they’re capable. Hop’s path toward the Gym Challenge Finals is tightly woven with the player’s own journey and while I welcome the idea of a rival/ally having greater involvement in the storyline, Hop simply sucks at Pokémon for the longest time. And here’s the kicker to all this: everyone in Galar sucks at Pokémon.

II.

When people claim that Pokémon is “easy” and offers “zero challenge,” they tend to forget that they come in armed with a huge advantage of prior knowledge of the mechanics. By design, the player is meant to become the Pokémon Champion and there are no alternate routes to some other final destiny. That said, Sword and Shield puts up a considerably weaker fight than its predecessors. You never get the impression that the trainers are trying at all to compete and the Routes between towns are now more than ever a vestige of environment design better suited to the capabilities of the classic Game Boy. Galar’s layout evokes memories of theme parks and my quick, unimpeded dominance of the region made me feel less like a champion and more like an asshole ruining the illusion for the rest of the patrons.

Separate from Galar’s underwhelming Routes, the Wild Area received a lot of buzz when it was first unveiled and to be fair, it’s the most exciting part of the game despite its flaws. The diversity of the wild Pokémon encounters more than makes up for lame trainer battles. It’s never more apparent that certain conventions are dead and gone than when running into high-level final evolutions of Pokémon that have never appeared in the wild before. In the past, wild Pokémon were more of a nuisance than anything, hardly worth the time spent inputting the commands for an easy one-hit knockout. Along with the variety present from field to field, many of Sword and Shield’s wild Pokémon also give juicy experience points, frequently outleveling the trainers present in the immediate area. The delicate level curve of the game is easily broken as a result of meandering through the Wild Area for too long but it’s still a welcome change of pace to decades of grinding trash mobs.

Players that think too hard will look at the Routes, then at the Wild Area, and will then ask themselves why the developers didn’t just design travel around the more gratifying open world environment. The issue is that the Wild Area doesn’t have that Breath of the Wild butteriness to it, perhaps an unfair comparison considering BotW wasn’t connecting to hundreds of other players at all times. Wild Area performance takes a huge blow while online even with the console docked and although chop is reduced if a player disconnects from the internet, that defeats the purpose of the lively community feel of the Wild Area. Given how erratic the Wild Area renders under the strain of weather conditions and online connectivity, I see it more as a fun experiment than the cornerstone of Sword and Shield’s design. It shows that Game Freak is at least attempting to evolve and it’s unfortunate that the shrinking Pokédex became the symbol of change when the Wild Area is the best new idea the studio has had in years.

III.

The region of Galar is dominated by the influence of one benevolent businessman named Chairman Rose who has sculpted the culture of competitive Pokémon battles around Dynamax, a Galar exclusive phenomenon in which Pokémon get really, really big. Stadiums are built on top of “power spots” that allow Pokémon to Dynamax for the entertainment of the crowds, building up matches as a festival occasion on top of being a legitimate sport. As nice as it is to have the gyms back, this aspect of the game hasn’t grown much at all despite how they dress it up.

Even once you catch a whiff of the true nature of Dynamaxing and strange instances of Pokémon going berserk, the game is dismissively patronizing about keeping players focused on their regular journey, with characters insisting that the Gym Challenge is more important than giant Pokémon running amok in the stadiums. This subplot eventually does come to the forefront at the worst possible moment and by this point, solving the crisis that’s about to unfold has zero momentum compared to the Pokémon League. The whole farce regarding the dark omen threatening Galar wraps up as soon as it’s introduced, making me wonder why the game even bothers raising the stakes to some world-ending catastrophe if it’s compressed into a handful of battles.

For all the emphasis placed on Dynamax, the battle feature is one of the more underwhelming gimmicks in a series that’s full of them. The story explains that its use is anchored to locations featuring power spots, isolating it to stadiums and raids in the Wild Area. Despite the showy nature of the effect, it’s never utilized in any meaningful way in battle and it only takes a couple of fights to see the full extent of what the system has to offer. So long as a player can survive three Dynamax moves, the threat of actually wiping out in a Gym Leader match will have more to do with type disadvantages than the power of Dynamax. The max raids against wild Dynamax Pokémon are far more challenging than what you’ll see against trainers and the rewards from the raids are stupid good, so the gimmick isn’t entirely a worthless feature. Still, it doesn’t clear the air of this idea that Dynamax wasn’t worth the trouble.

IV.

Held up to the light at any angle, Sword and Shield is marred with flaws, but I still wouldn’t want to go back to the early generations after experiencing Pokémon on the Switch. The story is an absolute shambles but if your game is to raise, train, and tinker for the perfect critter, Sword and Shield is a considerable step up from the 3DS era’s mature metagame functionality. Untold millions of hours will be saved as a result of cutting out so much of the bullshit regarding stats, natures, and leveling. The interface is clean and responsive, controls can be set to play with a single joy-con, and the decision to give players almost-unlimited access to their Box storage is a lifesaver when it comes to breeding and farming Pokémon eggs. People that approach Pokémon at the surface level will see the same game they’ve been playing for years but the maniacs that put in the time and effort to hunt for shiny Pokémon or train for competitions will be grateful at how much the process has been streamlined.

I finished the main story at about 30 hours with a third of that time spent either going out for detours or idling to prepare coffee. The main game isn’t much longer or shorter than the past couple of Pokémon games but the scarcity of unique things to do after the credits roll is somewhat insulting. “No postgame” is an exaggeration but “minimal postgame” would be hard to argue. I can’t blame people for feeling cheated with the first $60 console Pokémon game having a single post-game quest to capture the box art legendary and no other high-priority content outside of the meta. Going back to pick up missed items and face trainers in rematches isn’t nearly as compelling as uncovering secrets after becoming Champion, especially if you have no interest in playing past catching rare Pokémon. I took myself past the 75-hour mark to complete my Pokédex and as fulfilling as it was for me, I wouldn’t claim that it’s a significantly worthwhile endeavor for the average player. By comparison, Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon had its own post-game quest, an extensive roster of legendaries to hunt down, and yeah, full support of all Pokémon going back to Ruby and Sapphire for GBA. Whatever the reasons might be, Sword and Shield has a very definitive end to its adventure that comes all too soon.

V.

For all the controversy in the lead-up, Sword and Shield ended up being more than a little OK, if not a messy success that could still be better. The future of the series will be challenging as long as Game Freak commits to the idea of rotating Pokémon in and out of the main games, guaranteeing that the next game will have limited compatibility with this generation out of the box. Nintendo and co. took a calculated risk with Sword and Shield and now that the games have sold a verified and very real One Billion copies at retail, they can reasonably infer that they won’t have to bend to the will of a few thousand rowdy fans clamoring for a return to the old ways. They have a healthy base of players comprised of casuals who don’t give a shit about Dexit, newer fans that aren’t too miffed about leaving the 3DS games behind, and folks who just like Pokémon too much to complain too loudly. I found my own enjoyment in Sword and Shield, but I’m also not rushing to post #thankyougamefreak without seeing the shape of Pokémon to come. You don’t have to like it, but odds are you already paid for it.

Pokémon Sword and Shield originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on December 21, 2019 at 6:17 PM.

By: David Estrella

[morningmindsetpodcast-blog]

MM183 - Forced Blackout

Recently, we experienced a forced Internet blackout day. The Internet for the entire city was out. But, that was not such a bad thing. Consider scheduling an Internet blackout day for yourself. You may be surprised at how productive you can be without access to the world wide web.

If you like the show, please check out our Official Morning Mindset Merchandise!

Episode Transcription

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television, and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.

*Professor Paul*

Hello and welcome back to Morning Mindset. I am your host Paul Markel. Thank you, once again for making this show a part of your day. At least five days a week. I'm hoping that you're listening five days a week because we're delivering it that often except it's if it's a holiday or if I'm on vacation, but it's not a holiday and I'm not on vacation.

-

So congratulations to you. I had kind of a holiday. Last Friday a week ago Friday, I got up and I was having my coffee and sitting at the table and I usually check you know, I do like probably the majority of you do I'm sitting there at the at the table waking up drinking my morning coffee and I pick up my phone and I want to check my emails and notifications and all that stuff before I start the day, and my phone is running really super slow.

-

Like it's I look at it. Like how come I can't pull up my email and ran really slow. I was like, okay, so I look of course I look up in the corner and it's just I have no ice is I have no Wi-Fi connection or says the Wi-Fi connection. Is there meaning that my phone is reading the router right?

-

I know. Techies are probably gonna say that's not a router. It's it's the modem or the whatever my foot point is this so the internet was not working at my house. The Wi-Fi isn't working thousand my okay. Well, I'm gonna go to the office anyway, so I get dressed and I go to the office and get into the office turn on the computer and I realize there's no internet there at the end so fortunately, Where I am in town, our office is walking distance to our internet providers office.

-

Like it is literally like three businesses down the street. So I just walked out walked over and went into the internet providers office and I said, hey, good morning, and she says yes, it's down. I said, oh, I'm not the first one. She said and this is the quote. She gave me she said a third-party contractor was Excavating or something and they cut the lines.

-

She said a third party contractor cut the lines and they're in the process of repairing them now. This is about nine o'clock in the morning on a Friday. Okay. So what did I do? I went back into the office and our know it was Thursday, whatever. I went back into the office, and I recorded some but of course, I couldn't put them I couldn't put them up for you guys because why because you need the internet to do that and I wasn't able to do our group show notes because we share those with people that are in multiple States via the Internet.

-

So I did things around the office. It did not require the internet and then I went home and while it's always like well, I don't have to do internet work for business now. So what I'm going to do, what am I going to do? Why did physical things and physical things I did laundry? Thank you very much for asking washed it and folded it all myself come because I'm a big boy.

-

I sat down and I played my guitar because guess what I have a guitar and an amplifier and I have a plastic pick and none of those things require a Wi-Fi connection. I read a little bit. Yes. I did. I read a little bit and essentially and I did some other things I prepare some projects for the TV show and some videos that were going to do, but the forced internet blackout.

-

Was actually it was kind of great because no one expected me. Now, of course, I had phone service, you know, I had my normal phone service, but if you guys are like anybody else or like me or what have you. You don't want to be surfing the web all day long with your phone service unless you have unlimited, you know, 4G or whatever if you have unlimited 4G go ahead rock on but I.

-

So I don't want to be using my phone connection to surf the web or whatever. I just sent out a message to everybody who needed to know. Hey, and it wasn't and here's the thing like where I am the entire city. I had no internet. It wasn't just like oh we'll go over to the go to the cafe go over to the coffee shop and use there's no there was Zero none nada the entire the entire Valley where we had no internet.

-

So I just did physical things. As I said, you know I went out and I did some inventory stuff. I worked on some projects. I worked on a new project a new that we're doing for our other show and it was good. It really was and I would suggest it kind of like, you know, we talked about the 24-hour blackout while taking your phones and all your Wi-Fi things anything.

-

It's electronic just turning it off. For 24 hours read books do chores or catch up on projects that you've been meaning to catch up on but you're constantly distracted by this or that or whatever and the great thing, you know the forced internet blackout. It wasn't like people like, hey, man, you're just you're just slacking off today and you need to get on it.

-

You know, I sent a message. I'm like look don't ask me to answer anything via email or whatever because I can't do it. It's just not going to happen. No one expected me to be there. No one expected me to be on my phone or on the laptop or whatever and because no one expected that I just took care of business.

-

I took care of what I needed to take care of. I think I might have taken a nap that day out naps are good, though. Naps are good, though, especially if you're training. I trained that day. Oh man, I forgot so I had weight training that day, and in addition to my normal programmed workout, I went ahead and I why put more weight on the squat bar than I ever have and I got underneath it and I squatted down I stood back up and I said a personal record for squatting so and I misspoke myself.

-

I said Friday, it was actually Thursday. So it was a very, very productive. Now obviously I had to come back on Friday and take care of things. You know, we had to make sure that everything was scheduled in and what the weird irony of the internet being out and maybe it was just a trick played by somebody that didn't want to work that day.

-

But when I got to the office around 9:00 or so in the morning, it was out and then my son Zachary, who actually puts the show up. He sent me a message about five 35 35 or something like that and said, hey the internet just came back up. So during the entire workday during the entire workday. The internet was down and I know you might be sitting out there.

-

You're thinking dude it where I work if the internet were to go down, that would be a catastrophe. Could be a catastrophe would it really be a catastrophe or could you use that opportunity just to do something else if you have never I had a forced internet blackout day, but if you've never had an actual deliberate blackout day a 24-hour blackout where you just tell people look I'm not going to use my phone.

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I'm not going to text. I'm not going to email. I'm not going to do anything electronic. No phones, no laptops. No TVs anything. I'm going to read books. I'm going to take care of I'm going to do projects. I'm taking a nap. I don't want to do whatever I want to do. You should do that put that on your list of things that you should do and you'd be amazed at how wonderful of an experience that can be to just unplug from everything electronic.

-

I'm not telling you to be a Luddite and I'm not telling you to you know to go back in time or what have you but. Just once in a while give yourself an internet blackout day. Just an Electronics internet, whatever you want to call it blackout day and relax and you'd be amazed. How much you enjoy it?

-

Alright, ladies and gentlemen that is it for today. That's it for today's morning - oh, thank you very much for joining me. Make sure that you're leaving a review so that other people will know and if you have read the Morning Mindset book, and I know a lot of you have because we went through the whole thing, and we did a book study. Please feel free to go to Amazon and leave a review. Alright, I'm your host Paul Markel. I'll talk to you again real soon.

[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.

Download this Episode!

[gabriella-trujillo]

Social Media

By E

P completely left all social media the end of last year. Unfortunately I rely on both Facebook and Instagram for a decent portion of the sales and commissions of my illustration work, so it is difficult for me to cut that tie completely.  

I’m part of the very problem I detest about social media though – my desire to get away from social media is the amount of ads and promotions. This hypocrisy is not lost on me.

I genuinely miss having an easy way to interact with family members and friends. That said, the ease of sharing pictures, thoughts and sentiments doesn’t seem worth the price of my personal information being for sale to companies and intelligence organizations.

In a few days we may lose the internet as we know it altogether. Maybe it’s time we all consider dialing back how much we rely on social media… it may be “free” but we are paying in other ways. Everything is fighting for our attention and monetizing it. Everyone is distracted, all of the time.

Especially me.

Earlier this year, it came to my attention the likelihood of me having ADHD. I’ll have more details and information on it later this month, but it’s likely the case and the more I learn about it, the more it explains several aspects of my life. I started self-regulating my internet usage (among many other life adjustments) after reading other adults with ADHD’s advice.

I installed a Google extension that completely blocks my Facebook feed altogether. I can no longer aimlessly scroll through posts. But this also blocks posts that contain information I genuinely need in order to maintain friendships. An old friend-of-mine’s dog recently passed away. I wouldn’t have known this if I hadn’t looked at Facebook on my phone (where I don’t have the extension (but probably should)). I’m in this weird zone in-between being on Facebook and not… people assume I see their posts on there but I’ve actively turned them off. I can make posts to promote my freelance business, I can send and receive messages and I can look at specific folks’ profiles. The distraction aspect of Facebook is mostly gone for me, but my current set up has left me in this in-between world where it appears I’m there but I’m really not.

I hope that clears some things up if I’ve ignored someone close to me unintentionally.

I’m including an essay P wrote when he initially left social media that articulates why he’s no longer on it. I did the illustration.

Leaving the Party: Why I’m Cutting Ties With Facebook and Twitter

By P

Hello. My name is P_____ ______, and I work for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I provide these companies with engaging content that keeps the folks who pay attention to the things I say and do on their platforms interested and clicking. I also interact with the content shared by people I care to pay attention to, which is also important work. My work on these platforms makes these companies money. And while it’s true that I work for these companies — and believe me, I do a lot of work for them — I am not employed by them in any way. If you’re reading this essay, then you most likely work for some of these companies, too.

Here’s how it happens: The social media platforms created by companies like Facebook and Twitter not only allow me to see what the people in my respective networks share, but they also provide me with a detailed bird’s-eye view of what they do and how they interact with the platform — sometimes in real time.

When I write a tweet about a line of ten thousand mimes sneezing together in perfect unison, I’m working for Twitter because I’m participating. When my Facebook newsfeed informs me that my brother likes an article from The Onion, I’m working for Facebook because I notice. If I pay attention but don’t engage, it still means I’m working because I’m willingly exposing myself to advertisements. Eyes on feeds mean eyes on ads.

These companies mostly don’t care about what I do on their platforms, so long as I’m doing something. That’s why my job is easy. To them, me sharing a GIF of a sleeping puppy that wakes itself up with its own surprisingly loud fart is tantamount to me writing an impassioned Facebook status repudiating Donald Drumpf and the folks who made his presidency possible, though the fart puppy would certainly fare better online as far as the currency of favs and likes go.

I do important work for these companies not only by sharing and watching and interacting, but also by giving them unprecedented access to my personality profile and the world of the things I love and detest. My best friend could name maybe an eighth of my favorite bands, books, and movies, but Facebook knows them all by heart because I willingly typed that information into a box when I created my profile. These platforms also have the ability to comb through my tweets, messages, pictures, and status updates to glean even more detailed information about me. The companies I work for take the information they’ve learned about me and sell it to other companies, which then in turn use it to sell products and services back to me.

It’s a cycle of work and money, but I’m not granted access to the money part of things. Facebook didn’t cut me a check for “liking” the 538 things my girlfriend shared on their platform during our three-year relationship (this is the exact figure Facebook shared with me in a homogenous video featuring selected pictures of the two of us together). As of yet, Twitter has not compensated me for tweeting over 26,000 times since I created my account in 2012. I work as a freelance writer, and when I create content for other companies, I always agree to a deal through which I’m compensated for my efforts, usually on a per-word basis. The amount of free written content I’ve happily provided Twitter alone is staggering.

So, why do I work for free?

I don’t really know anymore, honestly. I mean, no, I don’t make money by choosing to remain aboard the social-media vessel, but I do get something: pure, uninterrupted distraction. Being active on these platforms makes me feel less lonely as a human being. I spend and waste an ungodly amount of time providing free labor for these companies because they manage to keep me pacified just enough to alleviate me from sadness and the drudgery of boredom, and because I frequently fear the challenge of doing something more meaningful with my brain, hands, and body.

Why become politically active in your community when you can just read what all of your friends who mostly believe the same things as you have to say about politics and popular culture on Facebook? Sure, I could take some extra time tonight to cook myself a new and interesting meal, but why not just look at pictures of the food the people I’m following on Instagram are eating? These platforms host the party, and I want to be a part of it. They provide unlimited access to entertainment, a distraction from my problems, and the notion that I have some sort of meaningful voice that gets heard in the online communities of my choosing.

Social-media platforms are also essential for creative types like myself wanting to market their latest endeavors — or so I’ve been told. “You have to use Facebook and Twitter to market your band, or else no one will book you. Your fans won’t know how to connect with you,” people tell me, and I believe them. But are they correct? Do I have to keep working as a music and blog promoter in order to be successful, or can I just be a musician and writer? The 610 people who “like” my band on Facebook can just go to my band’s website if they want to know what we’re up to, right? If someone wants to read my blog, can’t they just… read my blog? I fear that if I remove my social-media presence, everyone will forget about my band, my writing, and — well — me. I work for free because I’m lonely and need to be distracted, but also because I’ve been convinced that the significant part of my identity that purely exists online will perish and evaporate completely the second I leave the party.

If I’m being honest, I’m beginning to realize that the problems I turn to social media to distract me from are often caused or at least exacerbated by the very things from which I’m trying to glean relief. During the months before the election, it felt good to write tweets and status updates about how important it was to get out and vote for Hillary Clinton. She was up in the polls for most of 2016, but I spent the better part of last year fearing that not enough people would vote for her and save our world from a Drumpf presidency. Sadly, my fears were well-founded, and I am partially to blame, as it is horrifyingly clear now that my impassioned pleas over social media were mostly useless and that my actions did not constitute nearly enough action to make any difference whatsoever. Preaching to the choir is effective if you have a really big choir, but the amount of people on the internet who care about what I have to say is negligible. During the election, if I and millions of people like me had been more active in the real world doing real things — volunteering, making phone calls, knocking on doors, protesting, donating, attempting to have real, verbal conversations with people from the other side — we might not have an unhinged internet troll as our president today. I thought my work on social media was me doing something meaningful, but I was wrong. Statuses, likes, and retweets don’t determine presidencies.

I think it’s time to take a deep breath, look around the room one last time, and leave the party. I think it’s time to stop working for free. I think it’s time to take initiative, remove the obstacles of distraction and complacency, and attempt to do something urgent, purposeful, and real to address the horrific realities my country and planet face. I think it’s time to accept that proselytizing over social media is largely a fruitless endeavor. I think it’s time to recognize that I am nothing more than a commodity in the eyes of companies like Facebook and Twitter, and that they’re happy to profit from everything I do online, whether or not the content I create, consume, or disseminate is true or false or destructive. I think it’s time to try to live in the vast and dangerous physical world in order to cope with and enjoy a life brimming with elation and despair and everything in between.

P and I live a kind of whacky life that we want to share easily with our friends and family who care, but we don’t want to do that through Facebook or Instagram. This is why we’ve turned to Tumblr. We can be semi-anonymous. We’re aware this is still a social network of sorts, but its a blog first. At least that’s how we justify it.

For those folks out there who have happened to find us outside of our personal network, we’ve decided to keep our identities mostly anonymous. You could probably figure them out if you did some sleuthing, but I promise it’s probably not worth the effort. We just want to maintain some level of privacy in a society where that’s becoming more and more of a commodity.