#it wasnt EVERY sketchbook but it was still a handful of books

[angelfoodscake]

me just chilling and then i remember the time my mum threw out all my sketchbooks

[avxtarlz]

She was gone.

E-1610 Miles Morales x Female Reader

Summary: Miles and Y/n are dating but Y/n notices that miles won’t let her look at his sketchbook for an odd reason. So when Her and miles are hanging out he went to go fetch something and Y/n took a peek to see……

Warnings: angst,breakup,arguing

—————-

Y/n POV:

I went to go hang out with miles since it was the Weekend and I always come over to hang out with him. But this past month I noticed him hiding his sketchbook every time I come in to the room. I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t.

“Hey babe.” I said to him while I sat down with him in his couch. “Oh hey baby.” Miles said still looking at the tv.

After a couple minutes miles had to cook something from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back I just need to do something” He got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. I looked at him while he disappeared into the kitchen. I got up and went to his room to see what was he hiding. Now I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t take it no more. I need to know. After snooping around I found his sketchbook under his pillow. ‘How odd’

Once I had it in my hand I sat down on his bed and opened it and looked thru the pages.

One I opened the 10th page…

I saw a drawing of Gwen.

My eyes sadden as I saw thousands of drawings of her.

I knew it. I WASNT as perfect as her. Miles loved her more. There was no single drawing of me Like not one scribble. I kept on flipping pages seeing gwen.

GWEN.GWEN.GWEN.

What was so different about me?

Tears started to come out of my eyes. My lips started to quiver.

3RD POV:

Silent as steps coming. “Y/-“ miles came in through the door seeing her holding his Sketchbook. His eyes widen. ‘Oh no’ he thought. “Y/n I can explain.” He said lowering down to her level. “EXPLAIN WHAT?!EXPLAIN That you have Gwen in every single page you have in this sketchbook?!” Miles backed up seeing Y/n Angry.”Y/n please let me Explain.” Miles lowered his head.

“What’s so different miles? Do you now love me no more? Am I not perfect to you?!” Y/n yelled standing up and passing miles to grab her things. “Y/n wait you are perfect!” He grabbed her arm. Y/n turned around and yanked her arm from his grasp. “I’m leaving, we’re done.” she grabbed her things and walked to the door she turned around and threw the sketch book to miles. Miles caught the sketchbook since he could since his spider sense.

But when he looked up she was gone.

His Y/n was gone.

[luvnahoya]

draken, mikey, chifuyu and baji with a crush that’s different from what they thought

requested by anon <3

warnings : none

draken

- he thought you wanted nothing to do with him tbh

- you literally would just sit at your desk without saying a word staring at your. you seemed very passive aggressive.

- that didnt stop him though

- you were very pretty, and he could tell there was something else hidden in you.

- he went up to you and saw you working on a drawing, so he asked about it.

- did not expect you to start rambling on about your passion with a smile on your face, showing him your whole sketchbook

- listened to everything you said in full detail though.

- he just likes you even more now and is waiting for the right moment to admit his feelings for you, he eventually did and he couldnt be happier.

mikey

- he developed his little crush on you when he saw you at a bakery he visits often. you went there every day just to sit by yourself studying something.

- finally gained the courage to go up to you and sit at your table.

- you looked up at him with a confused face, and he asked you what you were working on.

- “oh! im writing recipes down, im a baker! it seemed fitting to come and write them in a bakery i guess.”

- bro he is in love with you.

- listens to absolutely everything you say. even asked you questions like what your favorite thing to bake was, how you got into it, etc.

- you were so sweet, he loved your presence.

- kept coming everyday just to visit you and see what you recipe you were working on, and your relationship blossomed from there.

chifuyu

- you sat at your desk alone writing, and writing, and writing about something that wasnt to his knowledge. occasionally setting your pencil down to stare at whatever boring thing the teacher was talking about with a “get me the hell out of here” look.

- he thought you were mean or something because you always looked like you were just not having it.

- came up to you once and asked if you wanted to help him study, and he was nervous as hell, to which you very surprisingly agreed with a pretty grin on your face.

- went over to your house and when he walked into your room he thought he stepped into a jungle.

- plants and flowers absolutely everywhere. literally it was the prettiest thing he has ever seen.

- “oh, yeah. i have a whole notebook about plants. they honestly fascinate me!”

- that answered his question about what you were always writing about

- kept coming over to your house to “study” but really he just wanted to listen to you ramble on about your pretty plants. eventually he asked you out with a bouquet of flowers you had been talking about.

baji

- he genuinely thought you were always like that. you always had your nose buried in a book, no matter the genre. you HATED it when people would interrupt you.

- sending judgy looks towards people, rolling your eyes when something made you mad, and loud exaggerated sighs.

- you still although managed to catch his eye. he knew there had to be something special about you.

-he went up to you after the bell had rung, while you were still sitting at your desk reading, not realizing class was over.

- tapped your shoulder and informed you it was time to go. asked you what was so interesting about that book anyway.

- “oh… thanks for telling me. well, i dont know. i usually just see a book and read it. doesnt matter what the genre is, a book is a book to me.”

- slowly started talking to you more and more when he could catch you at the right time, sometimes to tell you class was over as you still wouldnt hear the bell.

- came up to you once with a book in hand and slid it on your desk. you gave him a questioning look but accepted it. as you read through it over a couple days, you came across a little note on the side of a page. it read, “be my s/o?”

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[florvinhara]

my detectives (part 1)

kjahfjhsj i can have a little infodumping... as a treat... anyway this was originally gonna be 1 post but then i got carried away so part 1 in the series of me ranting abt my detectives!

Kira Isabella Song

Romances N, F, or M

Age: 25 at the start of book 1, currently 26

Birthday: February 7

Star sign: Aquarius sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising

Height: 5’7”

Hair: Short, ash blonde, a little longer than chin length

Eyes: dark brown

Race/ethnicity: Korean-American

Other appearance details: Several beauty marks on face and body. a few subtle scars on face/legs from falling out of trees, etc. fingers are callused from band practice and left hand fingers are a little crooked from being broken.

Languages: English, Spanish, a few basic phrases in some other languages

Stats:

Charming/Intimidating

Impulsive/Cautious

Sarcastic/Genuine

Friendly/Stoic

Easygoing/Stubborn

Heart/Mind (equal)

Optimist/Pessimist

Team player/Independent

Primary skills: Science & combat

Strengths: Trustworthy, strong, courageous, calm under pressure, compassionate, thorough, clever, good intuition, self-sufficient, sure of herself

Weaknesses: Petty, caustic, distrustful, secretive, lackadaisical, insubordinate, emotionally unintelligent, can be disdainful, uncommunicative, contrary

Personal:

overall body language is casual and unbothered, lowkey her posture is kind of yikes RIP but she has a very fluid way of moving

her voice is smooth and somewhat low in pitch, very even in tone

Loud and/or jumbled sounds sometimes overwhelm her; she usually has noise cancelling headphones with her just in case

Rebellious as a teenager; she started skipping school and getting into fights, did some graffiti and one time she stole a street sign that she may or may not still have

When she wasn’t breaking rules, etc. she was taking boxing lessons, chilling in the library, going on runs, or playing bass guitar in her band

Wanted to get out of Wayhaven as soon as possible after college but was arrested after she came back because she was selling fake IDs and stole a car; absolutely did not want to be law enforcement but Rebecca and the captain essentially made her

The deal was that she would work at the station for 5 years and if she did well/stayed out of trouble she could then quit- she's 3 years into it

deep down if she wasnt a detective she would want to be a paramedic

She shares a lot of mannerisms with Rebecca and they’re way more similar than she’d like to admit

Birds FREAK her out seriously; she’ll deny that she’s afraid of them but she’ll cross the street to get away from them, also hates crowded places and deep water

Scary resting face and has a habit of just... eerily staring at people who are bothering her until they get spooked, but she's not actually that angry or grouchy, she's really just Vibing u know? she's not gonna correct anyone's impression though or they might start like... Talking to her :/

Loves any book/movie/show with a secret society or spy element and stories about a Hero and their Journey, also loves angsty philosophy books; her favorite movies are cheesy but feel-good (The Mummy, Pacific Rim, anything with big CGI monsters)

Doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth but would kill someone for strong coffee; if she’s really tired you can catch her drinking it cold straight from the pot with a straw

Emo/pop punk teen and she definitely cried when MCR broke up, she also listens to a lot of Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Dottie West, Patsy Cline, etc

She’s been drawing since she was a kid- mainly works with charcoal and sometimes pastels. her sketchbooks are like her diaries and she’s never shown them to Anyone Ever

In her spare time, she still plays some guitar, draws, or reads; her library is extensive because she keeps every book she’s ever read or intends to read (it’s one of the few things she’ll drop real money on)

Very tactile person and fussy about textures, she prefers ultra soft blankets/pillows and her bed is basically a nest

Practical, efficient, frugal- she doesn’t necessarily find joy in cooking or anything but she can do it well enough, quick showers, uses cheap soap/shampoo, cuts her own hair

Her hands get super dry/chapped in the winter and it hurts very much :(

Never yells; when she gets angry she’s very cold & will Not hold back; every word is designed to hurt bc she’s purposefully poking at things she knows are sore spots

At the start of the books, she’s kind of... sleepwalking through life? like, she was in a not-great place mentally for most of her teens and didn’t really have a plan for the future but law enforcement was definitely not it? She isn’t feeling super passionate about what she’s doing and it kind of sucks to not have joy in purpose :( luckily that’s changing and is gonna be a significant part of her journey through the series!

Her apartment is cluttered but clean and she knows where everything is, if someone moved one of her things she would not be able to find it and it would bother her until she located it

She’s not stubborn exactly? Like she’ll concede an argument if it’s not super important to her and has no problem with losing or backing down in many cases; she’s pretty open minded in that respect, but if something is central to her values then she will Die before she backs down

On that note she’s overall a very logical person but when it comes down to it she'll follow her heart/first instinct

Does not care about rules or procedures At All, she'll follow them if it suits her end goal but otherwise... nope

Lowkey she… did not care about the reveal? it was a surprise but not her first priority in the moment- she kind of already thought UB was sketchy and didn’t trust them, so mainly she was pissed off that Rebecca had sent them to babysit her instead of actually help solve the murders

Speaking of Rebecca their relationship is kind of yikes. Kira isn’t exactly mad that Rebecca was gone so often, but she does think that she kind of forfeited her parenting rights and was annoyed that Rebecca was interfering with her life; first by getting her on the force and then by dropping UB on her. So now it’s Very Awkward between them because Kira doesn’t want to be like… mean but honestly what is there to say?? They’re trying but neither of them like to share personal information so it’s rough

On the subject of sharing, she just… genuinely doesn’t like to open up. Like, it doesn’t come naturally and in her mind it’s just… nobody else’s business what she’s feeling/what’s going on in her life

Genuinely does not realize that people care about her unless they openly tell her lmao... sad hours but at this point in the story she honestly doesnt think that any of UB cares abt her beyond their job besides the one she's dating :(

"Everyone should be allowed to feel things and rely on the support of the people around them, their emotions are Valid. not me though, this is my personal problem and as such its dumb so i have to get over it alone"

Her primary love language is acts of service, she wants the people she loves to have everything they might need; she’s Soft and really just wants snuggles but also she does not want to address it out loud

Her way of asking for affection is to just... stand/sit there and occasionally glance at the person... hovers like a sad ghost until she gets a hug... literally like 🥺👉👈 sjdhdkn Clown girl

She’s sarcastic and makes a lot of snarky comments, but generally she’s pretty honest unless she doesn’t want to talk about something (in which case she’ll brush it off and deflect or change subjects) which is why it annoys her so much when people are willfully dishonest or conniving

Pretty adaptable and capable of rolling with the punches but she generally dislikes surprises and being the center of attention

genuinely she's pretty chill! and a Huge enabler of chaos as well, like unless it's specifically bothering her she's gonna let it happen and mostly she thinks it's pretty funny to watch from the sidelines

in short she's basically like a feral cat who stares suspiciously at everyone from a distance until they successfully pspspsps their way into her heart and then she would die for them <3 but if she's mad she will make direct eye contact while shoving glasses off the counter

ahdgsksg ok last one i swear she Cannot Sit Properly, always has to be some flavor of lounging or leaning or sitting twisted into a pretzel

[queerbutstillhere]

If you‘re still taking writing requests, maybe something with the batfam having to take care of Dick?

Hiya! Sorry it took so long to get to this! But here we are, enjoy!

Breaking his arm wasn't exactly how Dick had intended to spend this month.

He'd been laid off of work because of his arm, he couldn't go out as Nightwing because of his arm, he could barely cook because of his arm.

He was just stuck at home, mostly by himself. The Titans all tried to stop by every once in a while, and they'd all be trading off running patrols for him, but even the occasional weekend with one of his friends or even his boyfriend wasnt quite enough to stave off the intense depression that accompanied his time off. He'd read so many books and binged so many tv shows. And now he just wasn't interested in anything.

Running and working out was awkward with a broken arm, so he could barely stay active. He couldn't sleep well because he was a stomach sleeper. He couldn't crochet or knit or any of the various busy work hobbies he'd picked up because they all required both hands.

After a while, he just got bored and drove back home, leaving a note for anyone who came to his apartment (inside the apartment, because we all know Dick's friends just let themselves in anyway), sent the Titans a text and then headed for Gotham.

When he got there it was around 1am, and the entire family was down in the cave or gone. He just dropped his overnight bag in his bedroom, then went down to the cave.

Alfred was thoroughly shocked to see him. 

"Master Richard!" Alfred exclaimed, looking up from where he was fixing a hole in a uniform.

"Hi, Alfie."

Jason teased him for being lonely.

He ended up being sat down in the lounge area while Alfred quickly made some tea, then came and scolded him for how loose he was wearing his sling.

Damian was the first one to arrive back home, Jon on his heels like a loyal puppy, and he too immediately started scolding Dick, mostly for not resting. 

Tim made some comment about keeping his mind active.

And Bruce, who arrived last, at nearly 3am, just gave Dick a confused look before disappearing into the locker room, and when he came back, wearing sweats and a hoodie, he held a hand out to his eldest.

"Come on, let's go get food."

Dick grabbed his father's hand with his good one and let himself be pulled up. They walked to the elevator in silence. And then road up it in silence.

"Blüdhaven was too quite."

"I know."

"I didn't want to intrude but I was just bored."

"You're not intruding."

"And I'm sorry to come unannounced but-"

"Dick." Bruce turned to his son as the elevator stopped. "This is your home, you're always welcome here."

Dick grinned just a bit, his slight anxiety eased. He followed Bruce through to the kitchen, where he could hear the others already chattering.

"Where's Cass?"

"Off with the other girls," Bruce explained, stepping into the kitchen. "So it's a boys- er . . . It's just us this weekend."

Dick smiled lightly at Bruce's quick correction but didn't comment, especially as Damian was already harassing him about eating.

"When was the last time you ate, Grayson?" Damian asked in that sassy, authorative voice of his. He was helping Jason prepare something.

"Uh, earlier? Like, six pm."

Damian nodded thoughtfully. "Good good."

"Where'd the kid go?"

"Jon is asleep," Damian answered as if it was an obvious fact, then turned to dump some veggies into a huge pan.

"Are you guys making stir-fry?"

Dick went to grab a glass, but found Tim holding a cup up in front of him. He took it with a quiet thanks and went to get water from the fridge.

"That is the plan."

"Does Alfie know you're up to this?"

"Tt, of course, Grayson."

Dick hung out with his siblings and father while waiting for their food to be done, and once it was, they all migrated to the dining room, sitting around the table and chatting. Dick got mocked because he couldn't use chopsticks, and in turn he mocked the others for anything and everything he could think of. But they were all laughing and grinning and it was so worth it.

He ending up spending the whole weekend, and the next week as well, even though during the afternoons he was still pretty bored, with everyone gone for work or school. He often sat around in whatever room Alfred was in, trailing after him like a lost puppy, like he used to do during summers when he was a kid. Sometimes they just sat around and had tea together and chatted and it was amazing.

Dick could tell everyone was watching him, a little cautiously. Everyone was preventing him from doing anything that could put stress on his arm, constantly offering to get him things, or jumping up to grab something before he could. In a way it was driving him insane, but at the same time, in a selfish way, it was nice to have them solely focused on him. Or at least, solely focused on him when they were out of costume or not fighting with each other.

"Richard, you need to elevate your arm."

Dick looked over at Damian, who had just walked in, a sketchbook and a pack of pencils clutched against his chest.

"Right. I was just." Dick motioned towards the book he had been reading.

Damian frowned, and marched over. He set his sketchbook on the coffee table and stacked up some pillows next to Dicks arm. 

"There."

Then he scooped up his sketchbook and plopped down in an armchair on the other side of the room.

"When did you get back from school?" Dick asked, noting Damian was still in his school uniform.

"Twenty minutes ago."

The kid selected a pencil and started drawing on the page, not bothering to look up at Dick.

"Whatcha gonna draw?"

"I don't know yet.”

Dick decided to leave Damian alone, clearly he wasn't in a talking mood, so he just returned to reading, glad Bruce had a much larger library then he did.

An hour later, Tim walked in and plopped down next to Dick, a bag of chips in one hand and a laptop in the other. 

Another hour later and Bruce appeared, Cassandra with him, the two signing and laughing with each other.

Slowly the living room filled up with members of their crazy family. Jason and Duke, Babs and Steph, Kate, Harper, Carrie, Cullen, and Dick had no idea why they were all here, even as they all gathered in the dining room for dinner.

Finally he leaned over to Babs. "So, mind telling me what's going on here?"

She looked up at him with a grin.

"One of your gingers gave us a call and told us you had been lonely. So when we all found out you were here, we figured we'd drop by."

Dick snorted, adjust his sling. "Wally."

Babs winked at him. "On the nose."

Dick just shook his head, turning to look around the table, voices echoing off the dining room walls and causing a chaotic mess of sound. And he grinned. He grinned because he loved his family, his large, wonderful, crazy family, and he wouldn't trade them for anything.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Cori's Tale (Pt.1)

-------------------------

I was never much for listening to the old stories they told us about monsters and humans fighting. It wasn't that I didn't care- I just had better things to do, like drawing. I had a black backpack with gold spikes for all my sketchbooks and drawing materials, I never leave home without it. The other kids at school think it's weird, I've never taken the thing off since I got it, but I like it! That's all that matters.

Oh, how rude of me, I haven't even introduced myself have I? Cori Sable, resident nonbinary disaster child. Not that it's of any consequence what my gender or lack thereof is, after all I'm only twelve years old aren't I.

But back to the important stuff! I live in a community of lots of people, it's fun, we get along pretty well when people aren't calling me names or telling me the backpack I wear is pointless and stupid and I should just get rid of it.

If I had to complain about anything, it would be the fact that no one seems to notice how many kids go missing at Mt. Ebbot every year. Every year some kid gets dared to climb it, and every year they don't come back. With the way the other kids look at each other sometimes, I worry they know exactly what they're doing when they send someone up there.

"And that's the story of how the humans were victorious in the Battle of Mt. Ebbot," the teacher closed her book, placing it on a shelf next to her. I hadnt heard a word of what she said, not that it mattered since I already had the whole thing memorized to begin with. I glared enviously at the back of the room, where teenagers sat on their phones, willingly able to ignore the story and not get in trouble. We werent allowed to get phones until we were fourteen, and even then we had to get jobs first, and recite the story of monsters vs humans. I don't think I'll ever get a phone, I'm terrible at doing work for one. For two the way everyone here tells the story of our fight seems very biased, it's almost like they didn't try to cooperate with the monsters at all, just maim and kill and lock away where no one else can find them. It's rather rude in my opinion, monsters just seem like weaker magical humans, they just look different and have a different culture, I don't see what's wrong with that.

Of course, bringing this up would be a detriment to my already tediously hanging reputation here. A kid who isn't well liked would be ill-advised to go spouting off about how monsters and humans aren't so different, about how maybe if we'd shown a little mercy we wouldn't be in this situation.

See, we used to be able to live in separate houses, used to be able to get stuff whenever we wanted. But it turns out a lot of that was because if decent trading with monsters, and of course, no monsters, no nice things. Not to mention, going through an entire war is hardly good for anyone involved, it's actually probably the worst possible event to go through. That's what led us to here, with so many orphans the human race decided "why not just make all children orphans" and took us away from our parents nearly as soon as we were born to be raised in these communities, only able to escape once we prove sufficient enough to survive on our own.

I'll probably never get out, they'll kick me out at twenty-one of course, but the problem with that is, I don't think I'll get the hang of life by then, or ever really. There's just to many things to learn! How to drive a car, how to use a phone, how to get a job, how to talk to people, it's all way to much. And with no one helping me out, I'm basically trying to operate a plane where all the buttons are the same color and the switches don't have labels.

Recess was my least favorite part of the day. I used to like it, but now I get pushed off of everything I try to use. On top of that, recess is when The Choosing happens. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's when someone gets dared to climb a giant mountain or risk being labelled a coward and ostracised, one time a kid refused and they got them kicked out entirely!

"Cori!" I heard a rough grumbling voice call my name. I turned to face the girl, her name was Ulana, and she was the one who decided what happened to all of us. Red hair braided behind her back, Jean's ripped in so many places it couldnt possibly be intentional, the only thing scarier than her was the twin brothers that always followed close behind. Sora and Pevril were oddities of their own, with Sora having black and blue eyes and Pevril being abnormally tall for a child. They were of course, only scary when around Ulana, other than that, I didn't see them as much of a threat, sometimes it even seemed like we could be friends.

"What is it, Lan," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't call me Lan," growled the girl, she was nearly a foot taller than me, and almost old enough to age out of the community to. But she was looking for a reaction, and I learned long ago that I should never give one to a bully, not if I had any self-respect.

"Right, well what do you want then?" I tilted my head to the side, focusing more on the sound of children playing in the distance than Ulana.

"I bet you can't climb Mt. Ebbot and survive," I froze for a second. I was aware I wasn't well liked, but perhaps i should've paid attention to just how deep that disdain went.

"And if I don't accept?" I said, digging my feet into the ground.

"Then I'll take that nice backpack of yours and chuck it in with the next kid, and you'll get kicked out," I wrapped my hands around the backpack straps subconsciously.

"Fine, I'll play your game, but if I do make it back, you can't send anyone else down ever again," I said, looking her directly in the eyes. There was a glint there, one I that sent shivers down my spine.

Mountains were, of course, cold, but my legs had a weird relationship with temperature. I had a blue and indigo striped hoodie on, one with little grey horns at the top, and black shorts with black boots. The ever important backpack was still tossed over my shoulders, sketchbook and art materials jostling around inside.

I reached the top of the mountain soon after, there was a crater at the center. I thought to myself for a second, whether Ulana had mentioned anything about going into the mountain, or if I could go home saying I had climbed it myself. I was in fact, so caught up in this decision, that I was caught off guard by a light shove from behind, and sent hurtling down the crater, my backpack clutched to my chest.

I landed, miraculously, in a pile of soft flowers, that seemed to cushion my fall.

I couldn't tell where I was, just that I was really far down, and the sky was really far up. I made the decision to keep walking.

After a few mere seconds of this I came across a patch of grass, where an orange tree stood at the center. I paused for a second before realizing- the tree had a face.

"Howdy! I'm Orangey, Orangey the orange tree!" It spoke, in a voice that sounded cold and calculated.

"Uh- hi- I'm Cori- the not orange not tree-" I said, doing a sort of two-finger salute in return.

"You're new to the underground arentcha?" Said Orangey, I nodded in response.

"Let me help you," suddenly something jumped out in front of me. It was glowing, different shades of pink blue and yellow faded in and out of what looked like a heart.

"This is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!" Said Orangey, he seemed unphased by the tri-color phenomenon of it.

"Your SOUL can get stronger when you gain LV, that stands for LOVE," he said. I wasnt sure that sounded right, Love didnt seem like the kind of word one would need to abbreviate.

"Down here, LOVE is shared through friendliness pellets," spinning orange shapes appeared on all sides, I eyed them suspiciously "Go on! Catch as many as you can!" Said the tree. I chose to go the opposite route, backing away as the shapes closed in on me.

The tree's expression changed, it was one of anger and hatred "Smart kid, aren't you," its voice was deeper, less calculated, more angry and bordering on psychopathic.

The pellets surrounded me on all sides, preparing to close in. The tree began to laugh, a cold and unfeeling cackle that sent a chill down my spine. The pellets were inches away from my skin, when suddenly they'd disappeared, the tree was gone. Something- no- someone- walked out if the shadows. He was tall, with white fur and horns, and a tossle of light brown hair at the top of his head, adorned with glasses, a blue shirt, khakis, and a grey cardigan.

"What a cruel creature, torturing such a poor innocent youth," he spoke in a softer voice, one that reminded me of how the guardians back at the community spoke to the younger children.

"I am Patton, caretaker of the ruins, come with me, I will keep you safe," Patton held a hand out, I accepted it after a few moments hesitation. Patton walked with me through an archway, into an elaborate structure, covered with vines and flowers. I felt something spark in me, I thought back to the sketchbooks in my backpack.

"Can I sit down for a second? That was a little scary," I said. Patton smiled and nodded, setting himself down in a pile of flowers between two sets of stairs. I sat down as well and pulled out a sketchbook, beginning to draw the things surrounding me.

"Oh! An artist!" Patton said excitedly.

I smiled and brushed it off slightly "Not so much artist as bored little kid with to much creativity," was my only reply as we sat there, trying to ignore the things my head was telling me.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@that-artsy-gay

@official-lucifers-child

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@misunderstoodshadowling

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

Ok so guys i finally got part of it done(like three or four days later buuuut

I drew two sets of the families for my anxceit au!

Please meet virgil's family the Ravenwoods!

And as curtesy some info about them

Daneil Ravenwood

Hes been raising Virgil and Andy on his own since virge was about 8 and a half and andy was 6 months old

Hes a english and literature professor at the local college(that logan's parents also work at)

Hes in his late 50s early 60s current time( where virgil is 21 and andy is 13)

Hes also a published and well established fiction writer, but he writes under an alias

Hes a super supportive dad and teacher, even if he doesnt understand it he'll 100% support the decisions his kids make (ex: "oh your wiccan now? Cool virgy! Im glad you found a religion that makes you happy, though...can you explain it to me again?" "Oh andy you want to be switched to the art program? No problem! I'll call your counsellors tomorrow ok?" "Oh boyfriend huh? Thats great buddy, when do i get to meet him??")

Hes got a deep hearty laugh that makes you smile

Dad jokes to virgils mortification

Hes a skeptic but loves listening to and talking to virgil about his beliefs

had the philosophy of "the punishment should fit the crime, but you should be allowed to stumble and learn with it" raising the boys and wasnt too strict with them. Also never threatened punishments, only threatened playful embarrassment

The boys got their sass from somewhere, but he does remind them to mind their manners and watch their timing

Gentle giant as he is 6'3

Black hair peppered with grey and white and usually forgets tonshave his stubble

Passionate about his jobs, can get lost in his work

Andy Ravenwood

Virgil's baby brother, and he fucking adores his brother( even sometimes babbles about him to his friends at school and proudly talks about his "youtuber big brother"

This does not stop him from poking fun at virgil of course

Art boi!! Hes the top of his art classes!!

He is the one art kid that always has like three sketchbooks on him at all times

Loves the color purple

Look ok he knows he KNOWS his hair looks like his brothers it wasnt supposed to ok the original plan baCKFIRED AND HE COULDNT TURN BACK

Unlike virgil he doesnt cover his freckles

He has the same color eyes as their dad(grey-blue)

Andy loves animals! Especially raccoons!! Those are his favorite.( he happily took on the responsiblility of taking care of virgils cat when he moved out)

Hes a pretty cheerful kid if hes comfortable around you, but shy if he doesnt know you

Hes got an anxiety disorder but hes still living his best life

Virgil Ravenwood

Our main Cryptid goth( he dialed it down for the family photo)

Hes twenty one and lives on his own in an apartment complex close to downtown, which is a good 15 to 20 minutes from his childhood home so he visits regularly( like three times every other week)

Boi loves his family to bits, and has so SOOOO many good stories he’ll happily talk about 

Has both his own paranormal youtube channel and a joint youtube channel with his boyfriend Ethen where they explore and investigate haunted places(both well known and stumbled across)

He has the same eye color as their mother, blue violet, which stands out a little more than his dad’s or brother’s

He covers his freckles with foundation because hes insecure about them

Did a year of junior college before deciding school wasnt exactly for him anymore, but still goes to events for his best friend Logan

Works at a cafe downtown that stays open pretty late( they do dinner its almost a diner but not) part time, and the other half does youtube for a living

Has a cat that had to stay in his childhood home named Sally that Andy takes care of for him

Has been considering getting another cat for his apartment

Big firm believer in the unknown and the paranormal/supernatural

Hes wiccan and has an alter in his bedroom thats apart of his facecam background

He has a tarot deck but doesnt really do readings other than little ones for himself, as divination isnt his strong suit

Has a big crystal collection hes been adding to since high school

He can sing but doesnt have alot of confidence in his voice so he just doesnt

And also introducing~

The picani-sanders family! Aka ethen's big ol family

From left to right

Patton Picani

Ethen's older brother(by two years)

Him and ethen are emile's foster kids, but he adopted him when they were like nine and seven.

Patton is 23 and happily works at the library downtown as a librarian and a reader to the kids

He loves music and musicals and all things disney (partially thanks to his boyfriend roman)

He and Ethen come off as complete opposites and they have a very playful relationship, always teasing each other 

He loves his family alot and loves babysitting his little brother Thomas whenever his schedule allows it, especially during times of year Emile and Remy get swamped with work

He loves to knit and sew and make things!!! He makes sweaters and jackets and dresses and customizes clothes!! He could make a living on it if he really wanted!! (but he just does it for friends and loved ones instead- Andy has a hoodie that Patton sew wool on the inside to keep him warm and Andy adores it)

Hes really outgoing and friendly and seems to make friends wherever he goes! 

He’s known Roman since they were kids and was crushing on him all through school until they got together senior year 

He loves to bake and cook and help his dad make dinner whenever hes at home

Hes a sappy romantic and loves cliches

He has a huge collection of stuffed animals that hes been slowly transferring to his and roman’s apartment since he moved out(theres ALOT)

Emile Picani

The dad!! Hes in his mid 50s 

He works as a singular and couples therapist  and can have a bit of a wacky schedule

Hes been raising Patton and Ethen since they were little and loves his kids so damn much

So goddamn supportive of what they do, sometimes to the point its embarrassing(for Ethen)

Hes engaged to Remy Sanders and once their married their just going to combine their last names

He loves cartoons and gardening! And has his own collection of stuffed animals and toys(which hes been sharing with Thomas) 

He loves making dad jokes and him and Patton make them all the time at Ethen

Hes a damn great cook and has been teaching his boys to cook for years now, and loves making big meals 

Not really a strict parent, more of a sit down and talk it out kinda parent

Is part of the PTA of Thomas’s school

Actually used to be a punk in school

Thomas Sanders-Picani

The youngest! Hes 8 years old!

Our boy loves to read and write! He writes tons and tons of stories!

Hes got a huge imagination and likes to daydream

Hes bubbly even though he isnt the most social he still has a good group of friends!

Our lil boi is an actor of course! He loves getting parts in the school plays and in class assignments.

Hes in his schools choir  and gets vocal lessons from Roman’s mama

 His room is filled with toys and books and notebooks and pencils, and even though he tries his best to keep it clean it gets messy every week.(cleaning it is his weekly chore)

He has two best friends named Joan and Talyn that hes been friends with now since kindergarden and theyve been nearly inseperable ever since, its not uncommon for one of both of them to be at each others house on any given weekend

Hes Remy’s kid but has started calling himself by Emile’s last name too since they moved in with the Picani’s

Doesnt have too many memories of his mother but the ones he does have are all happy and pleasant(thankfully)

Calls Emile baba and Remy dada to distinguish them better

Loves his older brothers especially when they play with him, He also loves watching the old videos of Ethen’s theater performances and sometimes pesters him to reenact scenes from them( his favorite is the middle school production of ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

Ethen Picani

Our other main boy, hes also twenty one

He lives with his best and childhood friend Remus Prince in two bedroom apartment across town near the college

Does youtube full time for a living

the “black sheep” of the family as he and Remus call him 

He majored in theater in his two years of college

Loves reptiles but doesnt have any because their apartment complex doesnt allow pets and he doesnt want to get him and remus kicked out since their apartment is close to Remus’s work

Has a car he loving refers to as his “hand me down junk heap” Because he got Patton’s first car when patton got a new one

He loves the old thing though 

Has a good relationship with his parents. He loves his dad Emile and he likes Remy well enough

Him and remy have a very casual, relaxed relationship.( Ex: “ Dad you need to stop letting sleepless bums into the house” “ He’ll stop doing that when he stops letting punk wannabes into his kitchen, now get over here kid.” ) 

Loves his boyfriend Virgil to death and likes to spoil him when he can(even though virgil tells him to save his money for rent)

Hes more of a open skeptic but he’ll happily debate things with Virgil, and enjoys making videos for their joint youtube channel and being proven otherwise

He also has his own solo youtube channel where he does abandon urban exploration( sometimes with Remus tagging along for the thrill)

Remus has been calling him by the nickname “Dee” since middle school when they played Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Remus called him Dee so often he made it stick as a nickname years and years later. He refuses to let it die and Ethen has just accepted his fate

Remy Sanders

Hes around Emile’s age( mid 50′s) and looks the tallest in the family at 6′3

He came into the family later, when the boys were about 20 and 18( when thomas was about 5 or so)

Hes pretty laid back but surprising good at being strict, so he balances out Emile’s parenting style

Hes a divorcee and got guardianship of Thomas, though hes on a friendly and civil relationship with thomas’s mother and takes him to visit her three times a month( theyre currently working out more visitations and possibly thomas staying with his mother a couple weeks every months but thats still in the works)

Hes an insomiac and (usually) works night shifts as a security guard for a security renting business so his working hours can be a little unpredicitble, but he almost always works at least two night shifts and graveyard shifts a week. Hes paid both a salary plus an additional commissions by employers so its well worth it

He spends as much time with his kid and the boys as he can regardless of his wonky sleep schedule

Hes a bit of a tough love kinda person, and hes snarky and mouthy and doesnt hesitate to speak his mind

Loves Emile soooo goddamn much he talks about him alot at work to his fellow security guards. Theyre the ones who helped him pick a ring when he proposed actually

Oh yeah the two are engaged did I mention that?

He fuels Emile’s plushie collecting, even if he knows he probably shouldnt( But oh well, it makes him smile and thats all he wants to see)

Looks punk now but he was the biggest straight laced prep in highschool that comparing him now to him in highschool gives you whiplash

Would fucking die for his family. No one messes with his fiance or his kids, he doesnt care if two of them are fully capable adults 

And its done!! Two of the four main families is finished!

And watch out because im also coloring these digitally(its just taking awhile :/) but those will be getting posted soon...I hope...Im trying

But here you go Virgil’s and Ethen’s families in two cute family photos!

Let me just add im so fucking proud of The Picani-Sanders photo because it was a struggle to fit them all in the picture and get the heights right and the entire side of my arm was grey with pencil lead by the time I was done but it turned out great!

Up next is Roman and Remus’s family the Princes and Logan’s family the Daniels!! 

Art references are credited to @the-pastel-peach​ @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ , especially @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ for getting 8 year old thomas to look like a kid because im not normally good at drawing little kids but after practicing with some of their art as my reference and inspiration he turned out really well!! 

I hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@aimasup

@sugarglider9603

@underdog-arts

@strawberryjellystuff

[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙

[whatevercomestomymind]

Decisively demonstrating that as an artist, my sketchbook is more sacred to me than the Holy Grail to the Pope. My art was for my own enjoyment, not the amusement of others. It still isnt. One day, as had happened too many times to count, as im actively drawing, some rando guy comes over and goes "oh whatcha drawing?" and just yanks the sketchbook out of my hands. Given I was sitting, knees up and holding it steady with my left hand, other edge pressed into the crook of my elbow, I had a pretty good grip on it (wobbly book = wobbly pictures), so this wasnt just some 'oh let me see too' from someone with no concept of social norms, it was targeted, deliberate, an attempt for this asshole to try to use my art to publicly humiliate me. Well, I dont play that game. I win it. Every time. You practice something enough, you get really good at it, and believe me, I'd had plenty of practice in dealing with bullying like this.

So I did what I knew would not only stop the situation before it escalated further, and serve as a warning to everyone watching NOT TO FUCK WITH ME. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure they say.

As the jerk face started to laugh, right as the words "hey guys, look at..." [this] came out of his mouth, I flipped my 4H super sharpened detail pencil around in my hand, and stabbed him in the damn thigh. Then yanked my book back from him, and said loud enough to be heard over the confused and shocked astonishment of those in the immediate vicinity who saw, "That's what happens when you take things that aren't yours without asking."

Asshole who did the yanking: "You stabbed me!? With a pencil!" as he sat down hard holding his leg. There was a surprising lack of blood. I mean his jeans were slowly staining red, but it wasnt a heck of a lot.

Me: "Yes I did. Touch my shit ever again and it'll be about 10 inches higher next time."

Of course I got dragged off to the principal's office, where a rousing debate about the rights of minors to practice self defense when threatened or the victims of violent crimes and assault. Well, mostly a one sided debate on my part as the principal decided yet again whether it was worth the public embarrassment of a lawsuit or not. They wisely chose to do nothing as I was defending myself (the asshole had the misfortune of having a documented history of bullying and harassment, which I knew).

Principal: "Well, do you have anything to say to him?" (Implying an apology)

Me: "Yes actually." *turn to asshole kid who now has a bandage around his leg and b-ball shorts on- the nurse attended to him while I was being threatened with suspension). "I believe you still have something that belongs to me. I want it back."

That principal hated me lol.

In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so I just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back.

I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that’s where my desk was, and it didn’t occur to me to ask.

Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more.

[cake-of-awesome]

this week has been very taxing but i managed to do okay despite what anxious and depressive thoughts i had

even though it was hard it wasnt all bad there were some positives i should focus

positives of the week

-little witch academia got a new op and a new character which i really enjoyed, ive always looked forward to the new episodes but now im really excited where croix takes the show

-brooklyn nine nine is airing new episodes as well, that’ll be a treat to look forward to every week, that show always makes me smile

-i finished witches abroad by terry pratchett, that book took me a while and im proud that i finished it. its been a very long time since i finished a book and this whole reading while on my lunch breaks have helped changed that, im excited to start reading the sea is ours this monday, im really curious what that’ll bring

-i also filled out a whole sketchbook, theres a lot of sketches ive been meaning to scan and color as full illustrations but in the meantime im proud to say that im starting to pick up sketching again, lately everythings been such a blur doodling has helped me calm down some at least

-there have been so many wonderful web comics that keep on updating, and even those who didnt update still make me smile with their last updates they did

-everyone seemed to enjoy the desserts i baked for the various easter parties i went to, i forgot how.... relaxing baking could be? its been a long time since ive done something like that with my hands. i should probably make more of a habit out of it but at the same time its so tiring... still seeing other people enjoying something you make is a nice feeling to have

-ran into some old friends that i wasnt expecting to run into, it was nice to catch up, even though i got anxious from it, its still nice to see familiar faces that i have friendly memories too rather than seeing familiar faces with... less friendly memories

-introduced many family members to what we do in the shadows, not sure if many of them liked it but its fun to see peoples reactions to films that you enjoy, plus i enjoy the movie and seeing it a bunch of times was nice for me

-sis got trolls the movie, gonna see about getting the streaming version on my laptop

-i also got when marnie was there, i havent seen it so thats another thing to look forward to

-the weather has been nice, lots of warm breezes and rainstorms, its nice to feel grass between your toes and a warm breeze on your cheeks, and relaxing to hear the rain hit the rooftop of the house too

-i managed to keep my head during all this stress and not break down in public

this week was very bad but i did my best and i think that should be enough to be proud of, things were bad but they could have been so much worse and i should thank god that they werent

i know there is so much i need to improve on but i need to focus on the positives and keep moving forward rather than getting stuck on the negatives and stop moving at all

i can do this, i will be okay, i just need to keep going and things will fall into place, there is no rush, i just need to be patient with myself and take my time, not everything can be fixed in an instant and not every solution can be figured out in a second

i will be okay

[the-static-and-i]

Aftermath (wip)

//This is gonna be a long one (because im like halfway through writing it i think? If even that?), and i was gonna hold off and keep it as a total surprise, but my brain literally wont shut off unless i share every last fucking writing apparently, so take this as it is, and ill post the completed and edited one later today probably, with a real summary :P

TWs: character death, grieving, mourning, suicidal thoughts, mentions of Lucky and Cam (disappearing), survivor’s guilt, general guilt. So much guilt. 

Renee couldn't handle sleeping in the same room Sam had been in not 4 days ago. She had spent a lot of time with Eli and Sofia and Kat, trying to ignore the emptiness in her head. Sam was the more dominant of the two of them, and now with her gone, Ren didnt know what to do with herself; for being the more confident of the two, she didnt have the will to do much of anything. 

By the fourth day though, she figured she couldnt sit and cry on Sofia's couch, finally dragging her ass back to her own cabin. She slowly looked around, remembering every blanket fort and hug that Sam had made and shared, every movie they had watched, and every bowl of popcorn she had eaten. The room felt.. empty now. Grey and dull and lifeless. Or maybe it was Ren feeling that way..? She couldn't tell the difference anymore. 

She slowly idled around the room, eventually ending up in her room. She picked up Sam's teddy bear, her favorite that had gotten her through so many bad days. Ren hugged it tight, feeling almost as if she was hugging Sam. She found herself crying again, her knees giving out as a sob broke through her pursed lips. She clutched the bear -- Peter? -- to her chest, biting his ear to muffle herself.

--

She didnt know when exactly she had fallen asleep, but Ren found herself opening her eyes groggily, pushing herself up from the floor. As she stood, she saw the bag Sam had brought with them originally sitting next to the wardrobe, almost completely empty, save a sketchbook and a small fox plushie with a ribbon and a handmade tag that read "Auburn". Reading Sam's handwriting caused her to tear up further, so she set aside the small fox and grabbed the sketchbook.

She flipped through, seeing so many sketches, through various states of completion, the last two causing her breath to catch. On the left of the page was a half finished sketch of Sam holding her hand up to a mirror, her reflection clearly being Renee, smiling back so happily. She lifted a hand to her mouth, trying to hold back a dry sob, lowering her fingertips to the page after a moment. The right page was a half finished Renee in a dress, holding a blue rose, with a roughly-sketched Genesis in a beautiful black dress, almost holding Ren's hand. Across the top in Sam's best cursive was the phrase "For Good."

Ren found herself tearing up once again, the song immediately playing in her head. She couldnt remember all of the words, but the parts she could hear were distinctly in Sam's voice, "So now its up to you, for both of us.. i know im who i am today, because i knew you.. i do believe i have been changed for the better, and because i knew you, i have been changed for good..." Ren sobbed as the words repeated and replayed, what she thought Gen sounding like filling in some of the other half, "just to clear the air, i ask forgiveness, for the things ive done you blame me for.. whatever way our stories end, i know you have rewritten mine, by being my friend..."

She couldn’t hold back the tears, quickly setting the book aside so she didnt fuck with the pages further, bringing her hands up to her face so she didnt have to see anything but the darkness. 

--

Finally, Ren had packed up her bag fully. She didnt know where she was going, but she knew she couldnt stay in the cabin anymore; there were so many memories everywhere here, and she couldnt stop replaying all of them. She left Auburn and Peter on the bed, with a short note saying that Eli and Jackie could have them respectively, before leaving out the front door. She considered just walking off the property until she collapsed somewhere, but decided that was a horrible train of thought that she didnt wanna follow, so instead she headed towards the road, caught between borrowing someone else's car and calling a ride. 

She glanced up at the main house, briefly remembering the conversation about getting an apartment that Sam--.. that she was supposed to have with Ceph. She debated that too; it wasnt that she didnt want help, it was more that she didnt know if she could face an entire house of memories and people that might try to comfort or stop her, and she hadnt actually mentioned leaving to anyone. The fact that she left without Kat noticing was a miracle, and she couldnt handle explaining herself to anybody -- not when she was still explaining to herself.

"Renren..?" A quiet voice called behind her, causing Ren to tense up. She wanted to pretend she didnt hear him, wished she had made up her mind, wished she could disappear without hurting anybody, but.. She turned around to face Eli, not actually meeting his eyes. She doesnt speak, she hadnt since--.. 

Eli stepped closer, his hand coming into Ren's view. He reaches for her hand, her shoulder, before pulling away entirely. She wanted to hug him, but couldnt bring herself to move. She should explain, but she still didnt know why she was even gonna leave, and now he was going to blame himself no matter which she picks, and- 

"Ren? Eli?" Another voice comes from the direction of the house, louder and more concerned than Eli's had been. Ren notices Eli turn to Jinx, sees Jinx's feet enter her field of view, can practically feel his worry rolling off of him. He had so much worry for someone so young.. "You two okay-?" Jinx sounded almost like he wanted to say more, but decided against it. 

Ren nodded to his question, glancing down at the bag that was still clutched in her too-tight grip. This was a mistake. She shouldnt-- she couldnt leave all of this behind. This was.. well, she was happy here. Everyone she cared about was here, well.. almost everyone.. 

She lifts a shaky hand to run through her hair, habitually sticking her thumbnail in her mouth and gnawing at it afterwards. 

"'m fine, but Renren..." Eli trailed off, and Ren felt a pang hit her chest; the first emotion to break her numbness, and it was guilt, how fitting.. These two shouldnt have to walk on eggshells, its not like she was a ticking time bomb.. 

But as she looked down at her white knuckles, as she chewed her nail down to the pink, as she remembered the voice telling her to join Sam and Cam and Lucky, she wasnt so sure of that anymore.

"Renren, stop," Eli pulled her hand from her mouth, and only then did she notice she had bitten down hard enough to draw blood. Her eyes followed Eli's hand back up to his face, tracing over every worried and distressed and upset mark, and she wished for nothing more than to hold him until they all faded.

Logically, she knew it wouldnt work like that, but she couldnt help but drop her bag and pull him into a hug anyway. It was the first one she had initiated and the first she had reciprocated, and that realization made her heart pang again. Eli was suffering and mourning just as much, and now it was like he lost both sisters.. She squeezed him a little, resting a hand on the back of his head. 

Eli hugged her back quickly, his arms around her waist. She could feel the fabric of her shirt becoming damp near his face, but she didnt mind. It was just a shirt, and he was so much more important. She gently brushed through his hair with one hand, the other releasing him and holding a welcoming hand out to Jinx.

He stepped closer, his body tense, but he joined the hug anyway, one hand resting on Eli's shoulder and the other on Ren's back. She rested her hand on his back, just below his shoulder so he could easily duck out when he got uncomfortable. 

Her legs were shaking by the time they all finally parted, Eli softly sniffling and Jinx looking a little awkward. Ren rubbed her arm, her hand feeling oddly empty without the bag, her arms feeling oddly empty without them, but her heart feeling a little more full. She pointed up to the house, waiting for both boys to acknowledge the gesture before she picked up her bag and stepped forward, wanting one of them to lead the way. In truth, she didnt want to be alone, and didnt know how to confidently lead anymore, even if it was just inside a big fucking house. She didnt know how to hold herself anymore, and her legs felt like weak cement, both too unstable but too heavy to move. 

Eli grabbed Ren's hand, wrapping it round his shoulders, Jinx coming around to take her bag, and the three slowly made their way inside. They were so patient and understanding, and they were so strong.. they shouldnt have to be strong, and another guilty pang flashed through Ren's chest.

~~

// Fin for now <3 Is gonna get worse before it gets better i think, so im sorry in advance? I promise im gonna write fluff soon, i need it so badly and these two assholes arent gonna stop me from giving them fluff, no matter how hard they’re apparently trying?? 

//Also, in case you couldnt tell, this is Post Cloak AU! Hopefully it stays an au! :)