#it wasn't supposed to be an analysis but that's how he affects me

[skyeslittlecorner]

Asmo's Selfie Reflections

First I'll have a little cry about the fact that there are no comics in the new cards. We've been robbed. Best part of the cards, along with the stories, is gone…

At least the prologue, with the presence of the kings and their right hands, was simply wonderful (Bael and his instant killing spree when he saw Beel <33)

I waited so long for Asmo that when he showed up it seemed unreal. He got everything. Most of my favorite physical features - checked. Glimmers of depth in behavior - checked. Being a dark and shady bitch - checked.

Plus, it's my personal thing, but seeing that nearly all my headcanons and assumptions for him matched reality made me squeal like a little girl.

Finally.

It doesn't surprise me at all that one of the the most powerful weapons of Hell is not so much physical, but mental force. Feelings that neither devils nor angels can resist. Love and desire have long been portrayed as some of the most powerful things, I have come across Greek motifs quite often, where the most powerful yet hidden gods were Eros or Aphrodite. As long as the spirit wants to fight, the body will follow, but without the spirit, what is left?

Especially since his order turns off your brain and tells you to follow, no matter how absurd it may be.

Asmo and his mind-fucks can help his own as well as his enemies. Especially since it seems that devils are quite traumatized after meeting him, and if they don't, they are locked up in Abbadon.

Although, it seems that he can control his abilities perfectly. He was able to blend in with the crowd and no one knew who he was.

Ahem I just have to stare at him every five seconds. My equivalent of breathing. And speaking of breathing…

*Grabs bottle of sanitizer and a mask* My dear, I know your (not)bathing routine and I still have pandemic supplies with me.

I love that the kings cover the entire spectrum of their specialties, especially the extremes. Satan is the avatar of anger, but he can keep his cool like no other when he needs to. Mammon is the avatar of greed, yet he is the most generous of demons. You get the idea. Same here, Asmo is both the lust and the love, the ultimate playboy and a loving husband.

And not only that, but complete lack of emotions and cold calculation too.

Oh yes, one of your sons is pretty famous, Vox Akuma as i heard. I really confused them when I saw Asmo for the first time-

Knowing how dark the rest of this is, I'm afraid of what you mean.

What follows is pure madness, and not really in a positive sense. Real madness and exhaustion. I had high hopes that he would take away any senses and twist in every direction, but he does it in such a beautiful way. And what's better, he loses himself too.

I only remember Satan, who at the end of Ch1 gave in to his anger so much that he almost killed Sitri and Ppyong. Asmo seems similar to me, completely lost in lust - only for a long time, without Mammon to calm him down, and without any scruples or limiting his power. If that's the case, then the devils of Abbadon must be damn strong. Crazy, but strong.

It's hard for me to describe anything after that, because it's hard for me to put six days into just a few words??? Literally. I have no idea how to describe it. I've read it a good few (a dozen) times and my brain turns off and goes into fangirl mode instead.

He seems as sweet as he is cold… which intrigues me even more, because so far he gives me the impression of a third party. He is not with the angels, and he is with the rest of the demons because it pays off for him.

At least one thing doesn't change.

Everyone loves to piss off Satan <3

I know that was a very polite analysis. That's not how I planned it, but just, just want to shove my phone into each of your hands and tell you to read it yourself because it's indescribable 😭

I already love this guy, and if he wants to sacrifice me in some twisted way, I'll even pour oil on myself to make the flames smell nice. Am I crazy? Yes. Am I ashamed? Absolutely not. Abbadon, here I come.

[linkcharacter]

Really like the recent analysis. I know I speak of curly in a more defensive way than most but I generally try to get the point you made across at the end of the day with my analyses on him and his behaviors.

People love to lock analyses around Curly solely based on what he could’ve done as a physical action and have this avoidance to acknowledging the realistic barriers at play when it comes to those solutions. It’s. The game tries to treat the pre-crash section as if they are grounded in social and organizational realities. So the what if he did this questions about the situation always fall short when the real answer is he either couldn’t or it wasn’t an actual viable option. But then when they talk about what he actually did do it’s surrounded by such bad faith interpretations that his actions were completely intentional or still not affected by outside sources. He’s a very much “road to hell is paved with good intentions” character. He cared too much and that’s a big part of his problem.

There’s such a “perfect victim or nothing” mindset in the fandom where people can’t admit that there are no such things as perfect victims but that also shouldn’t mean that even if there were it would absolve them of the mistakes they made. People want to moralize every action of every character that they don’t realize that some actions are done without any specific morale factor. People just do things, like you said. People assumed failed intentions immediately flip the thought process behind them “he meant to do good but bad happened, he must be bad” and that just is not how people work. It’s how perceptions work but only of the observer.

It’s such a sensitive topic because, yes, you are supposed to be frustrated, even mad, at what Curly didn’t do, but you have to acknowledge the fact these were good intentioned acts even if that good intent did jack squat in the end. That his responses are human and it’s supposed to be uncomfortable and hurt that they were realistic faults of his.

He enabled his friend and it ended bad for everyone including him. No one really tries to argue this fact but everyone seems to think it has to be tied to the morale dilemma and not certain human natures and social factors.

This is all to ask, why do you personally lean towards thinking Curly wouldn’t turn Jimmy in? Are you speaking in the short term of realizing how bad he got or long-term/overall? I feel like he could but it would not be easy and no matter the necessity he’d always have this guilt at feeling bad for doing it.

Ah yes Curly the most imperfect human man character.

Yep yep yep absolutely, people love to assign morality onto characters and call them good or bad and diminishing the depth and nuance of Mouthwashing, filling discussions with bad-faith interpretations or speculating on inconcrete understandings of the incomplete, intentionally vague, context. I adore Mouthwashing to no end for having this oppressive suffocating and constant atmosphere surrounding everything in the game. Really shows off that the environment festers, no one well-meaning guy could create a happy ending with individual actions alone because it's all systematic.

To elaborate from your question tho, at the point Curly was in (if Anya wasn't pregnant scenario), definitely no don't think so (would depend on Anya a too on whether or not she would go to the authorities outside). Curly knew Jimmy was a danger, and I do believe that subconsciously Anya's report to him on Jimmy gnaws at him, but not vividly enough. I want to point out a moment where Anya tells him about the pregnancy, he begins asking "Who would you-", then he's nudged by Anya that she told him and he should know who it is, and he does, instantly saying he's known him a long time and will talk to him. That moment of, for a second not connecting that Jimmy is the assaulter responsible just makes me drag my palm across my face for how much of a man (derogatory) Curly acted like for one dialogue line. Like he just 'forgot' for a brief moment that Jimmy harassed Anya prior? Granted, he instantly believes and takes Anya seriously, immediately dropping the search for the gun he was on in that scene, realizing the severity of the situation and of Jimmy. We also don't know what Anya has told him specifically, how long ago it happened, etc. but the 'implications' of the scene make me believe Jimmy's known sexual harassment on the ship slipped Curly's mind due to him being more invested in "the bigger picture" of Jimmy, not latching onto a harmful and a very serious fucking trivia fact about Jimmy because of his perception of who his friend is as a whole (and with his foggy sleep-deprived mind at the moment), 'losing a needle in a haystack' with how much unknown history Curly and Jimmy shared, so to say.

Maaaybe in some other circumstances, like if Jimmy didn't crash the ship or smth long term I could see him doing it, it would take a lot effort like you said, no matter the necessity. We will never know. If we're going into speculation and imaginary scenarios though, if Anya HERSELF were to try and get justice, Curly would be backing her up undoubtedly (still not disconnecting himself from Jimmy though and feeling guilt on his behalf). But that's all suppositions from my reading of the characters.

[munnmolads]

Rafayel didn't want Reddie - Analysis & Theory

Rafayel's intention with Reddie wasn't to take it home. An analysis of Under Deepspace Chapter 1 -07 with Rafayel's first meeting with MC. Contains spoilers from his myths.

As a recap for their first meeting - a small boy comes to MC to ask her to catch a fish for him before "she" finds out, but his friend/sister calls for him and he runs off. As MC looks at the fish, Rafayel comes to meet MC and catches the fish and drops it in the bottle she has on her hands. After some friendly conversation, Rafayel turns to leave before MC asks him to wait and offers the fish back to him.

First of all - I don't believe for a moment that the kids wanted the fish. I do feel that Rafayel did ask the kids to take her to the pool, so he could have an opening with her.

If we look back to this scene, he is smiling the entire time during this interaction until MC offers the fish back to him. He grunts, looks slightly displeased and leaves without saying a word.

From later interactions with Rafayel we know that he does take care of the fish and names it Reddie. He also sometimes mentions about changing the water for it in the cafe, have some phone calls and texts relating to it, so it seems all good, right?

My friend mentioned that Rafayel tells about Reddie that this species only survives a week on land. Considering how many interactions Rafayel has about Reddie, it's staying alive much longer than it probably should be. I'm not sure if Reddie is actually the last Flammula as the advertisement below says, but I assume it's atleast a real fish in the sense that it's not "visional".

Why does this matter? Because Reddie wasn't supposed to come home with Rafayel. He wanted that MC would take Reddie. If we look back to Nightly Stroll, this is what he says about fish:

He mentions this also in Abysswalker as well - fish have important task to fulfill. In Nightly Stroll the fish appears in between Raf's and MC's palms because their promise has the ocean's blessing. It works as kind of a messenger for the ocean.

His intention with Reddie was to give it to MC and keep an eye out for her. And it's not the only time Rafayel uses fish to this purpose.

In Abysswalker myth, Rafayel basically heard her asking the fish if he was going to meet her again and sent her a note, and showed with the fish where to find the note. In Sea God myth he used the fish to guide MC around Lemuria until he stopped her escape, being disappointed she betrayed his trust.

In Addictive Pain anecdote, it's made clear that Rafayel took a year lasting teaching position in MC's university to keep eye out on her, and he even collected information about her in the Nest. As she graduated and started to become a Deepspace hunter, he has no natural ways to keep track of her. This was an attempt for him to sneakily get more information about her - which failed.

I'm not sure if Reddie is actually his creation, as in he created it for this purpose - it's possible. Both the fish in the myths are his creations: the blue, transluscent fishes that he summons several times in the game already (Under Deepspace chapter 2-10, Nightly stroll, Cafe interaction - Gift...). The only differences to Reddie is that it is red and doesn't seem to be an illusion as his blue fish supposedly are. The blue fish float in the air, while the Reddie did have gravity affecting to it.

But I do feel Rafayel might be extending its life somehow - since it was supposed to die a long time ago already. Most likely because how upset it would make MC (and me) if it actually died.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Toothache

How does one go "You're Too Sweet For Me" to "My Baby's Sweet As Can Be"?

Synopsis: Simon Riley finds himself stuck in a situation, growing feelings for his roommate who's so annoyingly caring, domestic, sweet and too good for him. What happens when he let's himself indulge in the sweetness rather than cage himself in the bitter life he's been told is the only one he's deserving of and the only life he's known?

Apologies to this mess of a lyricfic, I couldn't help it even though this was supposed to be a relationship analysis..

MEN WRITTEN BY ANA HUANG ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. Alright back to our original programmed schedule with Hozier. ALSO SURPRISE! THIS CONTAINS 3 HOZIER SONGS as an apology for not posting these past two weeks due to me enjoying holidays, reading, prom dress picking and wanting to stab myself because of life, there's the added bonus 👀

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Also reader in this one had a lot of characterization, she's me fr, so AFAB?Reader, Fem!Reader, Short!Reader, Reader is VERY feminine with fashion, soft-girl-sunshine!Reader and Chubby?Reader. Y'all have no idea how hard it is to write without a personality and physical intimacy in romance, I tried but failed 😭

Warnings and Disclaimers: Mentions and details on sexual content ahead (is this considered smut? Idk anymore). Not detailed smut but vivid memories of sexual intercourse (especially the dialogue) with Simon. Again, this is a safe account for all ages because I'm not a MDNI acc, you are responsible for your own media consumption. DO NOT GO ON MY DMS, INBOX OR REPLY TO MY CONTENT TO TELL ME YOUR AGE. I don't need to know that and let's strive to not make each other uncomfortable. Mentions of questioning of religion or rather belief on afterlife??

Pink, bold and italic: Lyrics

Italic: recalling past events

Little snippet of an image of how I imagined he'd hold you, courtesy of the one and only @ave661

"It can't be said I'm an early bird, it's 10 o'clock before I say a word. Baby, I can never tell, how do you sleep so well?"

Simon Riley was never a man to live the life he was taught to in the military, it was out of habit for him to not leave his room until around noon. Then there was you, his roommate, he didn't exactly calculate how much it would affect his personal life to save money through rent by willingly letting someone within the same living space.

He'd find himself with not even a wink of sleep, hearing your footsteps through the thin walls, hearing the lock on the windows outside click open.

"You kept telling me to live right, to go to bed before the daylight. But then you wake up from the sunrise."

He'd always hear you, quite frankly it was like nagging on the constant.

"Simon you shouldn't do that, you'll hurt yourself"

"Simon please go get some rest"

"Simon.."

He'd swear he'd rip his own ears out every time his name falls from your lips from how sweet and chirpy it sounded and yet deafening silence would consume him whenever you aren't around.

"You don't gotta pretended, Baby, now and then. Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake? Smellin' lika bonfire, lost in the haze?"

Something about you makes it so tempting for Simon to give in, I mean it would be a one time thing, wouldn't it? So soft, so pliant, he set himself up for an addiction. It wasn't healthy, he knew this, he'd convince himself of the fact that he would end up hurting you.

Just too different, it repeated like a mantra in his head. He was bitter, brooding and didn't find any sense of pleasure in living. Why'd you think he has the job he chose? It's all he knew, till you skip your way into his life, giving him the sweetness he was deprived of.

"If you're drunk on life babe, I think it's great. But while in this world, I think I'll take my whiskey neat"

Drowning himself in alcohol, a trait Simon promised himself he wouldn't ever do when he was young, setting his glass down with a small thud from the wooden table. But what would the kid version of him know about life. He didn't have healthier options of coping with what seems to be his dilemma.

But then there you were, sweet little thing coming home at the late hour in that skimpy dress of yours. Revealing too much to the eyes of those who wish to have you for themselves with just one look. Where did you go that night?

"My coffee black in my bed at three, you're too sweet for me"

Desperately trying to keep himself awake and at bay from his thoughts of you. Drowning himself in now two cups of straight black coffee to help him focus.

It was odd, you got used to the scent, was strong with a lack of sweetness but it calmed you down knowing he was around.

How he'd corrupt you, he wanted to shatter that rose tinted glasses of yours to save you from himself because being with him would change you. Selfish but he doesn't want that, you were utter perfection..

Simon further delved into his feelings, what the fuck was wrong with him?

"I aim low. I aim true, and the ground's where I go. I work late where I'm free from the phone and the job gets done"

Grumbling, Simon walks back into the apartment in the middle of the night. You heard a thud, you come out of your bedroom, yawing from you incomplete sleep.

"Si..? Are you hurt? What happened?" You asked in a soft tone, careful not to agitate someone would could possibly be pissed off.

Simon stays silent, glaring at you as his eyes was only thing visible because of his balaclava. Your soft gaze intimidated him, because why would he feel that squeeze in his heart?

"But you worry some, I know but who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate. The rest of you like you're the TSA, I wish I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong..."

The only thing Simon heard was a sigh from you and nothing more, you walk up to him, each footstep feeling louder than that last.

Something Simon didn't expect you to do was wrap you arms around his waist, tiny thing you are that your head only goes up to his chest. Your body against his, basking in the warmth in contrast to the cold weather he had to deal with coming home.

"You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. If you can sit in a barrel maybe I'll wait, until that day.."

You took care of him that night, to his reluctance and stubbornness. Despite refusing, he had no choice, he wouldn't want a soft thing like you on his ear the whole night till he agrees. You were persuasive in your own irritating way.

Sitting on the edge of the tub of the warm bath he's in, washcloth in hand. Touch was so gentle, why was it so soft? Why's it so warm? "It's the water you fucking idiot" his subconscious screaming at him. In denial.

Why is his heart beating so fast..? He wants to stab it to stop the feeling..

"I'd rather take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. You're too sweet for me"

Using both your hands this time around, one gently holding his chin with your fingers while the other wiping away at the eyeblack he had. Every scar on his face felt the graze of your finger.

The slow blinks, your eyes on his. Before any conscious thoughts consume Simon, he lifts his arms from the warm water and wraps them around you.

Your nightgown was now damp but you couldn't care less, now with the man you were pinning over, foreheads against the other.

"Si.." you softly whisper. That nickname will be the death of him, you'll be the death of him. He crashes his lips on yours, not wanting to let go till you both were panting. You were too fucking sweet, your lips, your skin, everything. He wanted a taste and he got it...

"My lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner"

Another sleepless night wasn't uncommon for someone like Simon.. however this aching feeling wasn't, he doesn't know where it's from or what it's about. Not until he heard you in the kitchen, letting out a giggle even though you knew better.

"If the Heavens ever did speak, She's the last true mouthpiece. Every Sunday's getting more bleak. A fresh poison each week "We were born sick"

That sweet fucking voice, like the angels speaking to him themselves. "Oh- I'm sorry Si, did I wake you up?" You asked, turning around to the sound of his footsteps.

That tiny nightdress of yours, a reminder of the night you spent together, that morning you slept in his bed.

Lashes beautifully displayed on the delicate skin of your under eyes. Soft noises while your chest was peacefully moving up and down with every breath.

"She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom". The only Heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well. A, Amen, Amen, Amen"

"Simon.. Ahh~" you moan out softly, your body writhing underneath him. It felt hot, sweaty despite the well ventilated room, so intimate from something that was supposed to be the farthest thing from domestic.

"Shhh, you can take it sunshine.. You don't want the neighbors to hear us, do you?" Simon whispers, callous hand covering your mouth with as little pressure possible, you whimper at his words.

Closing your eyes to lose yourself in the pleasure you've never felt before. Your body being worshiped with gentle hands and soft kisses that leave marks by the very same man who kept distancing himself from you, now he'd stop at nothing for your pleasure.

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life."

"Simon.. no more–" you whined. Scratching his back hard enough to leave marks without being aware, he'd always imagine what those pretty pink nails could do to him.

"Just one more, please sunshine.. you remember our safe word right?" Simon asks for you to nod softly, you didn't have energy to take anymore. "I told you I'll make you feel good, didn't I? So be a good girl for me and take it, hmm?"

Your eyes roll back at his praise, your legs shake with one after another wave of pleasure running through your body. This man was starved.. insatiable.. who would be able to resist such a request? Not you.

"If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight to keep the Goddess on my side. She demands a sacrifice, drain the whole sea, get something shiny"

It took everything in Simon not to worship the ground you walked on that night, he wasn't trying very hard, was he? Because always.. at the end of the night, you're in his bed, his mind, his life.

Was it really a sin? To want something you don't deserve? Simon stayed up that whole night, not a wink of sleep while thinking of whether this arrangement should continue. Every bone and organ in his body telling him to be selfish, take what was something that wasn't his to take.

"Something meaty for the main course, that's a fine looking high horse. What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful that looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work"

Simon's gaze, never faltering on your sleeping figure that he refuses to go anywhere but his own arms. He tries to close his eye to compose himself, free himself from the emotions you emit from him.

His efforts were to no use, all he saw was the image of you, sweetly smiling, those doe eye staring right through his soul.

"No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness, in the soil of that sad earthly scene. Only then I am human, only then I am clean"

You were getting too close for your own good, Simon knew that, he'll be damned if he let's himself hurt you. So he does what any stupid man would do, avoid you like the plague. Did it mean nothing? Were you just some fling, never to be talked about again?

Fuck you Simon Riley, he made you feel loved in bed like no man ever has or ever will, completely ruining your chance of ever thinking of anything else and that was just a hook-up session? Maybe this one time you can let yourself be delusional, was there really something more? Only one way to find out.

"Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen, Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life"

You caught him, fucking finally, after days of waiting and trying to get him at the perfect time. "Si.." you whispered softly, you didn't know where to start. He took a quick glance at you before looking back at what he was doing.

"Simon Riley, don't fucking ignore me. Not after everything that happened those nights" You said, it was stern but he needed to hear it. It made him stop, think about what had happened.

Before he could generate a response, "Why?" You asked. It was a vague question, why was he ignoring you? Why does he feel this way? Why does he love you yet refuse to act on it?

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life.."

"You don't deserve a man like me, you deserve one who is like you, optimistic, sweet, fucking beautiful and alive.. A man who's not damaged, scarred, has blood on his hands and haunted by his past. A man who's not afraid to show his love for you. A man who won't put his burdens on your shoulders and a man who will take care of you instead of the other way around. That's what you deserve and I can't give that"

Everything felt like it came to a stop, were you hearing that right?

"You have no idea how much you contradict yourself, Si. How are you so sure that you haven't given those things to me already? You might not be like me but "like me" isn't what I want.. I want you, every flaw, every beautiful scar. Not once before your silent treatment have you hurt me, it's frustrating yes, but you are worthy of that. Every struggle, frustration and mistake, every bit of your love is worth all of that. I want you to see that Si, your actual true worth rather than what some psychotic fucker decided to torture you with"

"Boys, workin' on empty. Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby, I'm so full of love I could barely eat"

"Si?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"I love you" You whispered after smothering him in a plethora of kisses. Never has anything made Simon melt more in his life than his wife say that. Doesn't matter how long it's been, how much the both of you have been through or how much frustration the both of you were going through..

It will always stay the same, the feeling those three words give him, like the first time, every moment feels that way. Familiar, finally.. Home.

"There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree. 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be, she give me toothaches just from kissin' me"

He always thought about how unfaithfulness was such a struggle between some people, he thought about how good he has it constantly, reflecting back on what he used to have to how now this is something he never thought he'd have or deserve.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

When a man finds himself in the verge of embracing death's arms, what causes the struggle? What causes him to fight that pain, to keep on going? Not once has this crossed Ghost's mind.

No. He's not Ghost, he's Simon. Your Simon.

And you're expecting your Simon home, fuck everything else, he'll give the biggest "fuck you" to death itself and crawl home to you because he'll be damned and he'll experience everything he has in his life over and over again just to hold you again.

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin, I woke with her walls around me. Nothin' in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did."

It should matter, the amount of blood on his hands. Not once did you judge him for it, what the fuck was wrong with you? Giving a monster such as him a bath like he was some innocent stray kitten, although this time around it was far more messy. The dried blood caked underneath his finger nails.

Flashing him a tired smile while you wiped off the blood that made the water in the tub a hue of brownish-red. Taking your hand in his, his lips brushing against your knuckles. The way you looked at him was enough to make him cry.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

"Fucking get up" Simon repeats to himself, "She needs you, she loves you" despite how many times he's convinced himself you didn't due to the voice of his father in his head, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart imagining how it would be for you without him.

How much you cried the night he came home a day later, you told him yourself, practically sobbing while clutching your aching chest and him with your other arm how you weren't ready for Price to show up at your doorsteps holding Simon's belongings.

He won't let that happen.. he can't...

"My babe would never fret none, about what my hands and my body done. If the Lord don't forgive me, I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me"

Simon knew it, no one would ever love him like you do. No one would show him the same acceptance, devotion, care, concern and love. It wasn't healthy to be so attached dependently to someone in love.

He couldn't help it, it felt so right, everything with you did. Never a judgmental one, at least towards him. Always first to hold him, the first to ever take away the heavy guilt that weighed his heart and shoulders down after he'd done something he knows he'll go to hell for, if it's even real

"When I was kissing on my baby and she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free. Heaven and hell were words to me"

Every inch was kissed, not a part wasn't worshiped. "So fuckin' beautiful, so sweet. All for me, hmm?" Simon mumbled against your skin, suckling on the soft sweetness that he so claims. All hickeys, no bruises.

Fuck, he'd not just survive but thrive on just you. No other sustenance, your supple thighs he adores to cover in purple, your neck, your lips and your skin that he often compares to sugar syrup in his head.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"

The question was, was it worth it to live an eternity of lifetimes filled with suffer to be with you in at least once? The only answer to ever graze Simon Riley's lips was the word "yes", the day that changes is the day that he'd be the biggest bull-shiter the world has ever known.

Simon opened the door to your shared home, "Daddy!" A loud squeal wakes him up from his dread of what he's seen on the field.

"How's my little sunshine been? 'Ave you been good to your momma while I was gone?" Simon asked, carrying the little girl in his arms.

"Yes! Momma said we'd go to the park tomorrow as a reward for me helping out!" Little one saying it so proudly, Simon couldn't help but smile, beaming with pride as his little girl grows up to be what he recognizes as a good person.

"Simon..? You're finally home, I missed you so much" You said, peeking out the laundry room. You walked out, quick to give him a peck on the lips.

"I love you Si.."

"I love you too Sunshine"

Also this is a very long fic.. I expect long feedback.. @connorsui 👀

Does this make sense? Idk anymore it's like almost midnight and I'm running on a few hours of sleep. GOD MY PROM DRESS LOOKS SO GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT.

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo

Trying out new dividers as well by @anitalenia

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, I'm new in your blog and I wanted to ask you about Eddie and Shannon's relationship, Eddie's sexuality, and how it's seen by the fandom. Aside from the fact that I'm a buddie shipper, seeing various discussions about Eddie's sexuality and how it affects his relationship with Shannon makes me wonder if his character is bisexual like Buck or gay like Michell. We know that the show is capable of handling a plot about a seemingly heterosexual character who later accepts his sexuality. Michell is proof of this. Although his sexuality is presented to us from the first episode, it's what breaks his relationship with Athena. In addition, in a way, although we understand that Michell loved Athena as a wife and mother of his children and still loves her, this feeling isn't romantic, and it's something he knew about himself but refused to accept. He said, "I thought you could fix me", this suggests that even though he repressed his sexuality, he was always aware of it. With Eddie and Shannon this is different, there are analyses that talk about Eddie loving her but not being in love with her, and Eddie's plot sometimes feels contradictory to his own experience with Shannon, marriage due to pressure from the church, parents, pregnancy. In itself, their marriage didn't fail because Eddie didn't love her but because they were two young people with the pressures of a child with a disability, they were two people who possibly loved each other but Eddie was not a stable partner in the first years (understandable from both points of view), what we know about the Diaz grandparents, among other things, is proof that perhaps in another context they could have loved each other. But then you have Shannon asking for a divorce after she found out she wasn't pregnant (again both almost repeat the same story, the ending is uncertain because the variables changed), even so this is like a slap in the face for Eddie because at the end of the day Christopher and this supposed new baby was what would lead them to unite their lives again, not really a romantic feeling as a couple. Kim's arc is where I'm most confused about Eddie and his relationship with Shannon. He tries to recreate certain moments of him and Shannon together with Kim, his words when Kim dresses up as Shannon, and the deleted scene of Eddie and Chris talking about how he met Shannon. I know there's analysis of that scene focusing on Buddie and how it parallels their relationship, but I don't want to make it all about Buck, I'm not even sure that even deleted scene means that, since ultimately it would only reinforce Eddie's romantic feelings for Shannon. These conjectures are what make me question whether Eddie is bisexual, demisexual, or gay. I feel like in this case, Eddie being gay blurs Shannon's role as if she never existed and makes it all about Buddie. At the same time, I feel like Eddie could have the same storyline as Michell. I'd like to know your opinion on this topic or if you have any posts about it.

Hi, darling, welcome to the madness. I don't like discussing this but I have thoughts, so...

First of all, I don't think Eddie is strictly gay, never did. Second of all, I don't think Eddie is equivalent to Michael. Third of all, in the end, I genuinely don't care as long as Eddie is out and with Buck.

Let's discuss Michael first since it's the first half of your argument and he is the thing that people bring up the most and it's easier to evolve into what I want to say. When I say they are not equivalent, I mean the way that the show never tried to make us to believe Michael was straight, we are introduced to him as he comes out as a gay man who wanted a family and was with Athena because she was his best friend and could give him that. At no point, do we have the concept of him being in love with her or attracted to her. So you don't need nuance there. Michael was always gay to us. That's why that works.

When you try to apply that to Eddie, you need way more nuance than the show is willing to give him. I think the fandom decided that Eddie didn't love Shannon because they don't like Shannon and they keep pretending that him loving her doesn't make sense. You can dislike Shannon, she was written as irredeemable and that creates many problems, but Eddie loved her. That's an established fact of Eddie's character whether people like it or not. Their relationship didn't fail because of a lack of love, or even a lack of sexual chemistry considering Christopher didn't magically come to be and they were fucking a lot when she came back. We can sit here and discuss the nuances between love and in love and how a gay man can deeply love a woman who changed his life and still be gay and how he didn't really enjoy sex with her, he just didn't know anything else until the end of times, but the reality is that Eddie believes he was in love with Shannon. And like it or not he was presented to us as enjoying sex with her in a way that was explicitly opposite to Michael and Athena because sex was a problem in their relationship, as exemplified by Michael saying Athena complained he "doesn't lay her like other men" or their therapy sessions and the celibacy of their relationship. Eddie and Shannon were ending up in bed all the time. "Oh, we suck at this." "Really? 'Cause I feel pretty good about how that went down." People can tell me they only had sex once and she got pregnant and that the s2 sex was performative and Eddie didn't want to do it or like it all they want, but that is a lie. The thing with them is actually about how love is not enough and they can't force it to be for the sake of "being a family" in a way that Shannon understood and asked for a divorce over it, but Eddie never managed to get there because she died before he could move on.

Eddie will never be able to look at their relationship objectively. Shannon is dead and Eddie was forced into a space where he has to romanticize her because he needs Christopher to have someone in his life that gives his mother grace. The thing with Kim is about the fact that Eddie misses her. He will always miss her. She was half his life. She's the mother of his child. They were married for years and as much people like to pretend he was deployed for their whole marriage, that's just not true. And she died in front of him. Shannon is a core part of what makes Eddie Eddie. And while the same is true for Athena and Michael, they were able to work through the separation to the point where they could see the way they were best friends and co-parents and nothing more. Eddie is never gonna get that chance. Eddie never got closure and he will never get it the way he needs it. Everyone in his family hates Shannon to a degree that forces him to put her on a pedestal to counter that, so that he can give Christopher pieces of the woman he loved, not the woman who left them because Chris deserves to grow up not hating his mother. So he has no one who knew them both that can help him untangle his feelings. So he will never be in a situation where he questions if he was in love with her or not. He can question whether she was the love of his life or not, and he can question the fantasy he created where they work things out, but I don't think the show cares enough to allow Eddie to question the very nature of their relationship to that degree.

Which is why I don't think they can pull off making Eddie strictly gay. They would have to put in question everything Shannon meant for Eddie's character and frankly, given how careless they are with Eddie's story, I don't want them to try and question that. It would be bad. Plain and simple. Eddie is not the bi stereotype like Buck was, and confirming Shannon as Eddie's high school best friend and making him demi would be cool even if expecting the show to deal with micro labels is a crazy dream, but for me the ideal scenario is Eddie unlabeled. Put him in an "I loved Shannon then, I love Buck now, I don't care what that makes me" and make him unlabeled. He's not gay, he's just not straight. Because anything else is putting into question the core of Eddie's character construction. Eddie was always written as the widower (his archetype is widower single father and it has been since he was introduced) and to make him gay would make the audience assume he never loved Shannon, because let's face it, the ga does not have enough interest to understand that sexuality is fluid and a gay man can love a woman and still be gay, and that would make his whole character fall apart.

Buck hasn't been labeled in universe, let's just not label Eddie.

[noxiatoxia]

thanks for answering my questions! that was a super interesting read! i feel like in the english it feels like he suddenly got an “im better than you” attitude while in the japanese he’s just talking to them in a way that better reflects how he thinks they should be talked to based on their (for lack of a better term) status in his mind. it makes me wonder if he realizes what hes doing (dementia moment)

i did have another question about his lines specifically when he runs into hinata after the final dead room (the bits where he’s asking if hinata wanted to “become hope”) as i always thought that implied he knew he was kamukura at that point. and i want to know what he’s saying in japanese.

i’m also very curious about that line before the trial where komaeda is wondering why he still cares about hinata! if there’s any nuances there that are left out of the translation

You're welcome! I'm terribly sorry it took so long but I had to recover from being sick and then re-look over Ch.4 again. It was fun!

You bring up a really interesting point about the dementia thing...I wonder, does Komaeda's FTD still affect him in the NWP, does he have flare-ups? I'm unsure...Komaedaologists with better analysis skills than me probably could answer that.

Besides that, let me answer your questions.

So, the part where Komaeda talks to Hinata about admiring hope is interesting for a few reasons...before we even get to the admiring hope part, Komaeda says this:

When supposedly talking about Hinata's lack of talent, but then when he talks about why Hinata is talentless, he says this:

Which is confusing. He's implying Hinata "perhaps" doesn't have a talent because he wasn't determined enough (meaning, he didn't work hard enough) only to then say having a talent/being hope actually has nothing to do with working hard, and it's about how you're born.

When I answer these asks, I watch the ENG and JP version side-by-side, so I caught instantly what the issue was.

This line actually has nothing to do with talking about Hinata being talentless. Keep in mind, the line before this is Hinata saying, "Wh-What the hell...does that mean...?"

Combined with that, it's easy to see this is what the line is supposed to read:

KOMAEDA: Perhaps...you weren't prepared for this to be the answer.

For some reason I'm having a tough time wording it in English right now, so please excuse me. But Komaeda is saying, basically, "Were you not ready for the truth behind this question you've been wondering so long (aka his talent) to be this bleak? Had you not prepared for it to be this undesirable of an outcome?"

He was not commenting on Hinata being unable to get into HPA, he was commenting on his shocked reaction.

Moving on to the part you were actually asking about...

I actually kind of like the ENG translation. It's more liberal but in a good way. I'll provide a more literal translation in this case to better explain.

KOMAEDA: You yearn to posses hope...so you entered Hope's Peak Academy with the plan to devote yourself to that goal, isn't that so?

My only qualm with the official translation is a nitpick; "admire" is not how I would put it...I don't think?

I may be wrong, but in English, "admiring" something doesn't always mean you want to be it. I hear a lot, "I admire his ability to do such hard work" and such. It sounds like you hold a lot of praise for him, but you could never do that yourself. "I admire firefighters, I'd never want to put my life on the line like that" and stuff...

憧れ is better thought of as "aspire", I think. It has the nuance of you want to embody it. "Admire" works, but it's the kind of admiration where you want to be that, too.

Besides that, "Were you willing to sacrifice your body and soul" is a very powerful way to write その身を捧げるつもり, and I really have to give it to the team for this one.

Literally speaking, その身 means "That body", but 身 is an abstract way to refer to a person's self. その then makes it "one's self", and it sounds kind of...grandiose? Serious? I'm unsure how to word it.

Point is, turning その身 into "your [very] body and soul" is a perfect way to put it in this situation. 捧げる has an equal level of importance in feeling, it's like wholly dedicating everything to one thing. Sacrifice is apt.

This translation is also fine, but I wrote my own version too.

Komaeda: Or maybe...you were just a mindless sheep who looked up to Hope's Peak Academy [because everyone else was doing it].

Hinata then interjects, saying, "That's not why I joined at all!" (In the Official translation, he says "I-It's not like that! I...!")

And then Komaeda replies:

KOMAEDA: No, it's because you "wanted to become hope yourself" or something like that. Seriously, quit saying such idiotic things!

Also, I must amend my post here where I said I didn't recall Komaeda ever using ~てくれ outside of his laptop video. In this line, he does use てくれ. I'm sorry >.< my memory truly does suck.

Also, this line after Komaeda explains you either are born with talent or aren't is a mistranslation:

KOMAEDA: That's why...just "aspiring" to be something isn't enough.

I think it's pretty obvious that it's a mistranslation even in English because it reads like a totally unrelated non sequitur. In Japanese, it makes a lot more sense.

Komaeda's ideology can be quite confusing for a first time player, it doesn't help that there's so many mistranslations that make him say basically the opposite of what he means...I wonder why that is.

Only 2 lines later, we get these lines:

Which are, weirdly, way meaner than they are in Japanese.

KOMAEDA: In short...you're nothing more than a Reserve Course student who never had a talent to begin with. KOMAEDA: You just happened to forget. That's all there is to it.

He never calls him a "nobody" - the closest is 予備学科でしかない, where でしかない has a negative connotation to it. So, it's saying "you are merely just a Reserve Course student" with a bit of an edge, but that's it. I guess this could be read as "a nobody from the reserve course" if you interpreted it in the meanest way possible. It's not necessarily wrong; it's up to the reader to decide how "mean" Komaeda intends it to be I suppose. A bit of ambiguity.

I only translate it as more "neutral" as the follow up line does not sound mean to me, so I'm just keeping it consistent...but I would actually love to hear some theories on this. Do you think he's trying to be mean? Or is he just emphasizing Hinata is nothing more than, in a neutral way? Very interesting...

That's all for that part...there's nothing that would allude to Komaeda knowing Hinata is Kamukura based on these lines, I don't think. I'll let everyone theorize though, I'm just here to write translations haha

To your other question, I've actually looked into this before! I only discussed it with a friend privately though, so I never posted it here. Let's fix that.

KOMAEDA: Even so, why...? KOMAEDA: I know that you are an insignificant human being, so why is it that I care about you?

I know nuance is important in lines like these, so let me elaborate more on the Japanese text.

KOMAEDA: 取るに足らない人間だとわかっているのに、どうしてキミの事を気に掛けちゃうのかな?

取るに足らない means something not worth devoting any time to, something so small and trivial, hence insignificant.

どうして is a bit tricky to explain, but it means why/how. You're asking why in the sense of how...which is usually the same as an English "why", I think. In this way, it can be worded also as "so how come I care about you?"

キミの事 is "kimi no koto", and puts emphasis on Hinata's person.

Like, for example, in love confessions, a person will not say I love you (kimi), because it sounds stilted or insincere. You say "you" as kimi no koto, which literally translates as "your thing"...which sounds weird, but all you need to know is that it emphasizes the person's being - their personality, their feelings, their everything. It's a way to make whatever you're saying about this person sound more warm/intimate. Of course it's used for more than just love confessions!! That's just the most popular example. Komaeda uses kimi no koto in his love confession with Hinata in his FTE.

In short, he is just emphasizing Hinata as a person beyond a surface level. This isn't shocking, as this sentence would sound kind of weird if he did not use this turn of phrase.

気に掛けちゃう confuses me for one specific reason and I'll explain that soon. But 気に掛け means "care", specifically this English definition:

being concerned/weighing on one's mind is an integral part to 気に掛け。

The ちゃう attached to it gives the nuance that this is against Komaeda's will, and/or it is something he is doing to his chagrin. Basically, "despite the fact I shouldn't, I care about you [and I can't force myself not to]".

Back to what confuses me. It's how 気に掛け is written. Most commonly, it's written in Hiragana alone as 気にかけ and means the same thing. You can 100% write the second part in Kanji as it is here, but when it comes to written works like this, typically there's a reason for choosing one over the other. Which is to say, the reason it's written in Kanji here as opposed to Hiragana makes me think there's some sort of implied nuance...I could be totally wrong, but it's what my mind goes to.

The issue is, I don't know of any special nuance of using 気に掛け over 気にかけ...so, if this is indeed the case, my theories for why it is written in Kanji, from most likely to least, are:

to emphasize the word's meaning.

to imply a level of sophistication or eloquence to the speech.

to make the sentence easier to read.

If it were written in Hiragana, I think it would be just as easy to read. But it's always a possibility.

I'm very unsure on this last part here...so I'm open to all types of thoughts and theories.

I hope this answers your questions! Thank you again!

[mintgreen-homewrecker]

After my previous post about Marvin i kept thinking about Falsettos, as one does. This is more or less an analysis of Whizzer and his relationship with love. It got long, so read below the cut.

This is a long one, so buckle in.

Something that never made too much sense to me is when people headcanon Whizzer as someone who has never been in a relationship before or hasn't been in love before. If anything he feels like someone who is convinced he is bad at love.

He behaves very self assured. The lines he sings are phrased in a way that is very final. In The Games I Play he singes about things he sees about himself, things he knows about himself. They're just the way they are to him. He is just who he is. He has a very take me or leave me approach to things.

But that's not true. In This Had Better Come To A Stop during his and Marvin's fight about dinner we see Whizzer complying. He is resentful and angry, yes. He hates what Marvin turned his life into, the expectations Marvin puts on him. The song begins not with Whizzer annoyed or agressive. He doesn't even interrupt Marvin until he threatens to leave him. He is not the same cool, calm and unaffected man we see in Thrill Of First Love. The song starts with an absolute frenzy. He is panicking.

In The Games I play Whizzer sings about how he doesn't take blame. Not that he doesn't or that he isn't to blame. He knows Marvin divirced Trina because he loves her. He knows he loves Marvin ("It hurts not to love him, it hurts when live fades"). He knows his worst qualities and he knows that they are intrinsically connected to his best ones. He is, as the fandom is very aware, the king of presentation and artiface and that it's something he uses as a shield. He is the epitome of "I'm whatever you want me to be" not because he doesn't know what or who he is but because, to him, people will see what they want to see.

"Whizzer knows" is a very interesting line in that sense. He will do what he has to, depending on the situation, so he can best save face. He knows how he can get people to see exactly what he needs them to see. He is very socially intelligent, how to play out a situation so it will end in his favor, if he can help it.

In Everyone Tells Jason To See A Psychiatrist he realizes he is outnumbered, so he tells Jason he should see Mendel. In The Chess Game, while his relationship with Marvin can no longer be salvaged he fights for the last word, trying to save his pride.

"[Whizzer's supposed to] always bravely acquiesce"

He did, in a way and no matter how reluctantly, try to fit himself into Marvin's life and we all know it wasn't necessarily for Marvin's stellar personality with all the unresolved issues he has in March Of The Falsettos. Whizzer's phrasing is interesting, I think. Bravely acquiesce. He does not like compromises, but he made them anyway and puts most of the blame for how Marvin affected him on him. There is a hint of martyrdom there. No one blows up like that without a lot of emotions boiling under the surface.

He explicitly says he does not look for trouble. That is, of course, very different to what we see in Thrill Of First Love. But, as much as there is that doll house like presentation of March Of The Falsettos, we do not see him be very confrontational once others are present.

The line "I was trained in karate" always felt funny to me. I can't help but feel like that would be a mood killer, but that's just me. He wants a reason to fight. He wants conflict and chaos but he can not risk that without losing face and who better to pick a figh with than a man who feels he has nothing to lose? A man who had an unhappy marriage, lied to himself all his life, who barely has any connection to a son he loves? He can hurt Marvin and be right and Marvin will still love him in his own, messed up way.

All of this in mind, I genuinely can not imagine that Whizzer has not been in a relationship before Marvin. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he has been in a few when he was younger and his shortcomings and issues seriously bit him in the ass and made them fall apart. You do not decide to not to fall in love while aware of all your faults if you have not messed up at least a few relationships.

It's an unproductive radical acceptance of himself. He knows who he is and he does not see a need to change it, at least in March Of The Falsettos. He is the other side of the coin to Marvin. Marvin needs everyone else to love him desperately because he can't love himself. Whizzer radically loves himself because he has learned that other people won't.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Ok just had to share because I've been seeing these people all around and yet it had never happened directly to me.

So, great review of Nosferatu, and I get into A Situation with a person claiming that Orlok is a psychic pdfile rapist of child-Ellen and what's more, the covenant he tricked her into making with him symbolizes a marriage contract,thus Ellen is the analogue of a child bride and a denunciation of the buying and selling of women as brides through history and during that period in particular - also class analysis of how he's a parasite that sucks people dry, yadda yadda, we all know the class analysis. Now that's certainly....a take, and tbh I can see some elements of it sleekly fitting in with the way Eggers structures his themes, but to treat it so absolutely as THE explanation of such an intricate narrative....yeah. I had some issues with that.

And the whole affair ends with that person telling me verbatim, I kid you not, "you should examine why it is that you have a romantic reading on such an one-sided relationship between an undead rapist killer and his teenage victim".

And I'm like....what is this supposed to be? An own? Is it supposed to make me stop dead on my tracks and go "oh yeesh. Why am I romanticizing the goddamn gothic romance????? Am I some kind of monster? A ticking time bomb who'll listen tomorrow about a teen grooming victim of some degenerate and go "yeah but consider that she might have called on him on her dreams to liberate her and spread Covid around"???

To make a long story short, that passive-aggressive urge to self-psychologize with the hint that there's something wrong with myself did absolutely nothing to me,and I can explain it already as I did.

I had a romantic reading because I like gothic romance.

That's it, that's all the answer needed.

But I'm feeling rambly, so I'll elaborate. Because I like sounding the depths of the human mind and will and I like imagining it against powers that defy human measures. Because I like to imagine human nature as a universe, full of it's own destructive phenomena, natural disasters, secret cave systems and toxic geysers. Because in fiction I am free to do so, and can taste flavors that I would never seek out in the real world, like the vertigo of fulfilling the need for self-destruction, or the grandeur of being worth more than the entire world to someone, and what's more, I can acknowledge they exist, and can safely follow them to their logical limits from behind the safety of a book cover. Because on the page we can live out what can't be lived out in the real world even if we tried and because "some things belong on the page, others in life, and it's a blessed fool who can't tell the difference" and I don't know how others see themselves, but I am neither blessed nor a fool.

So needless to say, that wasn't the one it was probably intended as. Really interesting, though, to see such limited-minded puritanism take the stand on the event of Nosferatu coming out. Really interesting how, somehow, they are sounding more and more like crusaders of moral purity for the easily-deceived masses, only now dressed in some righteous "anti-abuse" garb, like abuse in the world will be affected if someone on the internet says that maybe the devouring embodiment of darkness that was rotting alive in the movie had some lasting and fatal effect on Ellen, and it didn't have to be love for it to be defining.

The real question is, why when your limit is the sky and you can make playgrounds out of your mind, do people feel the need to bring everything down to the unromantic, pedestrian and depressive reality that surrounds us whether we want it or not? As far as passive-aggressive urges for self-reflection go, I think that's a much more potentially productive one.

[dbmars]

DB Reads Hannibal Rising: Peritext

@adreamwithin and I have discussed reading (or re-reading in some cases) the Harris books together. Initially, we planned to read the same copies of the books, swapping them back and forth so we could leave each other annotations and notes in the margins (called marginalia, btw, though that sounds like a butter substitute). In the end, she sent me the two books I didn't happen to find in a not-so-Little Free Library (my former middle school has been turned into a community center and antique mall, and they kept the library as it was, so folks can leave-a-book-take-a-book kind of thing).

I'm not sure how many of these posts I'll make, but I'm going through a rough patch right now where my goal is to do whatever it takes to give myself good brain chemicals. It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in Iowa. I woke up at 5am to have quiet time to myself before my family wakes up, and this morning my brain said, "Hey, you should make a tumblr post about reading Hannibal Rising. And I was like, "Sure thing, Brain, whatever you want. If you give me the happy chemicals, I'll do pretty much anything."

So, here we are. BTW I saw this movie around the time when it came out, but I have never read this book.

This is the copy I'm reading:

I'm a strong proponent of always studying the peritext of any book. you care about or want/need to study. Peritext is a subcategory of paratext. The concept of paratext was defined by Gérard Genette (1997) as common elements provided within a book (peritext) and elements outside of the book (epitext) that refer to the book and can affect individual and cultural perceptions of a text. Examples of peritextual elements include the foreword, table of contents, index, dedications, introductions, publication information, and source notes. Epitext refers to communications outside the book that can influence whether and how the text is read. Examples of epitext include book reviews, interviews, author websites, letters, and critical literary analysis. Paratext = peritext + epitext (paraphrased from this source).

First page after the front cover. This is, like, the hype page. So if you're picking up this book off the shelf in a supermarket or something, it's supposed to entice you into buying it. I find it hilarious. I guarantee Thomas Harris did not write this piece of shit. It's a mess of past/present tense and the images are confusing and trying to sound cool but not quite hitting the right tone. This fits thematically with the commercial reasons for this book being written (ie. Dino de Laurentiis forcing Harris to write it).

After the "Also By Thomas Harris" page we have a Japanese ink painting.

It's tempting to just breeze by this thinking, oh, I know there are Japanese characters in this book etc. Slow down! Look at the painting. Find out who painted it and when, and the title of the work. But how???

Skip to this page:

Aha, here we go. "Ink Drawing of a Shrike on a Twig" by Musashi. To the Google Machine!

(okay, another cup of coffee first)

First of all, SHRIKE! Of course, we're all thinking Minnesota Shrike. But the title is just the beginning -- turns out the artist is Miyamoto Musashi (1584 - 1645)... and the translation of the title provided in Hannibal Rising is a lot less heavy metal than some of the other translations I found (Shrike Sitting on a Barren Branch, Shrike Perched in a Dead Tree). In Japanese, Koboku meikakuzu.

I hope Musashi comes up in the story as someone Hannibal studies. Turns out he wasn't just an artist, but a legendary swordsman, philosopher, author, calligrapher, and sculptor. His most well-known piece of writing is the most important Japanese treatise on strategy, the Book of the Five Rings (Gorin no Sho). I found a wonderful blog post about the painting and here are my takeaways:

Musashi's artistic technique echoed the bold precision of his swordsmanship. The strokes are confident and precisely placed like cuts with a blade. It achieves perfect balance. Nothing is missing, nothing is unnecessary. Immediately I want to believe that Hannibal's art is the same way -- as precise as his own way of dealing out death.

There is a worm headed up the stem. It seems like the shrike is going to be surprised, but this is a visual story of predator and prey, the moment before the shrike strikes.

Musashi, born into the samurai class, was orphaned and adopted by his uncle... just like Hannibal. He became a ronin, or a masterless samurai.

From the Water-Book: 'In strategy your spiritual bearing must not be any different from normal. Both in fighting and in everyday life you should be determined though calm. Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. Even when your spirit is calm do not let your body relax, and when your body is relaxed do not let your spirit slacken.' I could see Hannibal embracing this in every way. Think about his unflappable demeanor as Mads plays him, to the point where when we do see emotions breaking through it's singularly jarring. The way of the warrior as described here is something a young Hannibal would ascribe to, and file it away under wise teachings instead of acknowledging that he lives in a state of constant hypervigilance due to trauma. If it's a warrior code, it's not a weakness.

Musashi believed in acquiring knowledge for a well-rounded view of the world -- learning many professions, a true renaissance man. This is reflected in his creative output. Hannibal has a vast knowledge base and strives to master many arts -- cooking, drawing, music, etc.

I ended up ordering a copy of The Book of Five Rings (which, eew, apparently is often read by executives for management purposes, and probably by a lot of incels who think they're cool cuz they read The Art of War and stuff but okay) because of the lines at the end of the blog post. Something I really needed to hear right now.

"The artistic creative process has many dimensional facets to it. Sometimes it is an active and full-on mode. At other times, it is a sparkling solitude of precious silence. The artist, like the warrior, is brave in embracing the journey as it unfolds. Each to their rhythm, pace and timing. Like the painted branch of this scroll, one brush stroke with intention can hold a world of wisdom."

Here's a list of the other copyrighted materials that will apparently appear in Hannibal Rising:

"This is the first thing" -- Collected Poems by Philip Larkin (1998, 2003)

"No way to see him" -- The Ink Dark Moon: Love Poems by Ono no Komachi and Izumi Shikibu, translated by Jane Hirshfield and Mariko Aratani (1990).

"Definition" -- Rococo Summer and Other Poems by Lawrence P. Springyarn (1947).

"From The Tale of Genji" -- Women Poets of Japan by Murasaki Shikibu, translated by Kenneth Rexroth and Ikuko Atsumi (1973) -- free online!

"Amidst the notes..." One Hundred More Poems from the Japanese by Akiko Yosano, translated by Kenneth Rexroth (1976). (I found another source, hope the translation is good).

I'll address these as they come up in the book so I can analyze how Harris uses them in the text. I guess I'm gonna be a big weirdo and buy some of these books... me and my deep dives, good Lord!

This was fun. A nice break from fanfic. Maybe I'll keep posting! Honestly I'll be way more likely to continue if folks heart, reblog, or (best ever) comment.

Love, DB

[cowbok]

Character Analysis: Narinder (The One Who Waits) Part 2

Part 1 Here!!

Alrighty, let's start!! Last time we left it at the begininng of Narinder's jealosy towards his brothers, and the affections the mortals gave them while he received fear and hatred from the mortals.

But before turning on his brothers, he tried to do something about this. He thought "Why do mortals fear me?" The answer was easy. He was the personification of dead. Judge of the souls, the reaper themselves. Of course they would be terrified of Narinder!

So, the curse of action was obvios. What if he wasn't just the God of Death? After all, it was fair! Their brothers weren't the gods of just 1 and 1 thing alone! Shamura was war and knowledge. Kallamar was pestilence and health. Heket was famine and harvest. Leshy is order and chaos.

So why couldn't he be the God of Death AND LIFE at the same time as well?

Of course, Narinder didn't knew about how to create living creatures, not even about the magics that went on the creation of a soul. But he would figure somehow.

It is said that Shamura nurtered this ambition of his. Without truly knowing Narinder's intentions, maybe Shamura knew the God of Death wasn't well received so they wanted to support Narinder as good as they could.

Dialogs of Shamura right here.

Narinder was so close to figuring out the secrets of life, and he manages to created ressurection! Finally, after millenia! He would no longer be just the boogey-man of the mortals folkclore!

No longer feared, but loves just the same as the rest of his siblings as the god of Death AND LIFE. No longer he who lays a soul to rest. But also, he who reaweakens a soul anew.

And for this, for trying to go against the natural order, the bishops had to stop him. Of course, at the time Narinder couldn't understand the gravity of what he was trying to achive, he was just so full of ambition and desire.

So he felt so enraged when his siblings denied him. Weren't they supposed to be different from the brainless gods that slaughtered themselves during the purge? Weren't they supposed to be brothers in arms? That there was nothing they couldn't understand?

It seemed like it wasn't that way. And so, the bishop of Death saw red that day, causing the wounds in our bishops that they still hold to this day.

I like to think Narinder felt some guilt from this. But he never admitted it. Specially not after what happened later.

Chained, trapped into the deeps of the underworld, unable to leave for eternity. How could they? They were his brothers, his family, his only home. The only ones he trusted with his life and they dis this?!

Once again, shunned away, hated, feared, left alone to rot forevermore. The tittle of god meant nothing, for nothing had changed from the time he was a mortal.

The only mercy he was given was the company of the two kittens, Baal and Aym.

I like to make a parenthesis for them. Even after Narinder tells us he does not cares of them i believe he's just being a huge tsundere. The kits talk so higly of Narinder that its difficult to imagine they didn't form some kind of bond over the centuries.

I know he does cares but of course, he loved his siblings and look how they repaid him? He would never be found showing love and appreciation over anyother, ever again...

At least he thought so...

The Lamb

A prophecy of a liberator, the most loyal of the followers of dead.

At this point Narinder knows better than to let himself form a bond with his vessel, its supposes to be just bussiness but...

It has been ages since he had devotion poured into him. And the Lamb, he's so different. No fear or hatred, no prayers to keep him away, but true love. The kind of love the followers of their brother gave them, instead of that rancid fear and horror disguised a respect he used to get.

That's why it comes as such a surprise to our cat that the Lamb refused to be sacrificed. They were their most loyal, weren't they?!?! Once again met by betrayal?!?

It seems Narinder has a tendency to see only his way, tho. Of course the Lamb has all the right to feel equally if not even more offended by Narinder's word.

I would give him, that it seems flesh sacrifices were the norm and that it was a way to show devotion. Judging for the scenes where the bishops get powered up by their willing followers. Narinder thought this natural, without taking into account if the Lamb was or not okey with it

(And that depends on the type of gameplay of each one. Personally, i hate doing sacrifices, so i headcannon my lamb as the same).

But this is about Narinder and how he felt when he thought was, once again, betrayed. The heart of the bishop of death cannot get a fucking rest.

After his defeat, might as well die. Why keep living this life that has done nothing more but to stab him in the back and front over and over again? And what's worse, he's not even a god anymore...

And then... The lamb spares him.

And the the Lamb gives him a second chance. And the Lamb takes care of him, and shows him a new life, and shows him things CAN be different, and the Lamb keeps him safe.

(And depending on the gameplay you choose, the Lamb even loves him, shows still devotion. And the feelings are complicated. The lamb betrayed them but... They still... Love him?)

And it's all so weird. So many conflicting emotions over millenia. But at last... He is free. And he has all the time in the world to figure out his place in this new world.

And that's all!! Hope you liked this analysis. I just needed to take it all out of my system haha (HYPERFIXIATES TOO MUCH ON NARINDER HELP)

The cow now leaves. Bye!!

(Not going to talk about finals where the lamb kills him or keeps him alive to put him in the pillory forever because they make me sad 😔)

[lord-squiggletits]

I’d love to hear any comments/headcanons you have for pre-Tarn/pre-war Damus!

Those tags about him being touch starved due in part to his Outlier powers had me in my feels 😭😭 I loved that wonderful (and angsty) analysis on him.

Hmm I'm not sure I have that many but let's see if the ones I do have end up blossoming into a more robust list or not

Like most people, I headcanon Damus having an affinity for music long before becoming Tarn; I mean, his outlier power had literally nothing to do with sound at all to begin with (even once he started being able to do it at a distance), so it seems like for Tarn to have 'music lover' as one of his big traits, he would've picked it for a reason, no? Not all parts of Tarn (TM) have to be a complete pretense

Following that, because Damus' outlier broke all electrical devices/machines he touched, he became a singer because his own voice is something he can't break and that no one can take away from him. Maybe he would've tried non-electronic instruments, but he would've gravitated towards singing more than instrumental performance regardless

Also, depending on how you headcanon Cybertronian singing to work (do any of them "breathe"/push air like humans do or are their voices entirely synthesized? Is "breathing" a special mod or does it work as a function of ventilation/cooling), being empurata'd probably could've affected Damus' singing ability since he would no longer have a face/mouth to shape his sounds. Could still sing since he does have a voice box, but I imagine that, considering Damus wasn't able to touch anyone/anything anyways, losing his hands was way less hurtful to him than losing his face.

However, since his outlier ability would make him pretty much functionally disabled on Cybertron (literally everything and everyone is machines), Damus would've had a greater appreciation for physical mediums of art/function more than the average person, I think. In a society where pretty much everything is stored on datapads, computers, etc, Damus would've been a huge pen-and-paper, art canvas, stonecarving, etc kind of guy; a big appreciator of things that can survive without an electrical connection or any machine functioning. He's basically one of those people who, in human terms, would own a lot of antiquated stuff like record players, cassette decks, CDs, etc because his outlier forced him to adapt to (and then eventually enjoy the benefits/unique traits of) physical rather than digital mediums. I imagine this trait would make Damus odd among other hobbyists, since for both anatomical reasons (they're a mechanical species) and cultural reasons (history of mechanical superiority/anti-organic tendencies), most people would probably degrade physical media as less fast, efficient, flexible, etc compared to digital. Which does kind of make it ironic that Damus later became a Decepticon, but I suppose non-electrical/mechanical doesn't necessarily equate to being organic.

On account of not gaining control of his outlier until his outlaw days with Orion and co., I imagine Damus' job opportunities would've been very limited and he would've mostly had a very poor/limiting lifestyle (which also inclined him to be more interested in Megatron's writings and eventually becoming a Decepticon). Creativity isn't running well at the moment, but probably something like waste management (like being a garbage man) or some sort of manual hauling job, although Damus appears to have just been a normal 4-wheeled car alt-mode so I'm not sure he could've/would've gotten hired for heavy manual labor stuff. Perhaps he could've been a courier like Bumblebee was pre-war?

That also begs the question of how Damus compensated for his disability. Maybe to handle electronics, he could do so as long as he wore really thick gloves or something? Probably he'd also take advantage of stuff like voice commands/text to speech on electronic devices, so I imagine Damus' life wasn't completely devoid of any technology whatsoever. Do you think he'd be able to cook food on a stove top as long as he used a pair of tongs to grab it? I bet Damus had to get really good at improvising disability aids and getting basic life functions done without touching things directly with his hands, so maybe he was a bit of a tinkerer back then as well. And now I'm imagining Damus' home being full of elaborate Rube Goldberg machines that do very basic things like turn the stove to a specific temperature and turn it off after a set interval of time klsdalfjkdls

[yuseirra]

Today's analysis/thoughts~~ I really should leave the story at that but the thoughts keep coming to me, here's what I thought of today!

It's the final arc, isn't it? So if the author goes: "5 chapters until the finale!" now or something - I’ll have to grab the author by the collar… because that would mean they just threw the story away.

But when you combine the chapters, they’re connecting ones that don’t make sense together, so I’m left wondering, “What is this supposed to achieve?” That’s what I’ve been thinking.

The author will handle it, of course, but if this is the end, the movie arc seems unnecessary. Even if it existed, if Hikaru’s reaction had been a little different, or Ai hadn’t told Aqua, “I’d love it if you could help me save this person together,” everything would’ve clicked into place. However, those chapters really stand out to me, and I judged them to be crucial, so I based my interpretations on them. I really like those chapters and consider them to be my favs, too...

I feel like the psychological bridge between the movie arc chapters and the current developments could actually be tied together by the two songs. They work like a sort of adhesive, making me wonder, "Oh, could this be it? Is this what it's about?" Otherwise, I’d just let the story go, thinking, “Whatever happens, happens~~”

Anyway, Ai imagining a happy little family with this person, where they’re pretty and happy…

Or, when Kamiki was in his happy times with Ai…, with a bright smile that’s identical to Ruby’s—something you’d never see now, and a smile that Aqua would never have because of his personality— smiling that brightly…

I very liked those kinds of things.

Like them holding hands or being wrapped in each other's arms… I think they had a beautiful relationship. It could have been that way if not for the terrible life situations Hikaru had to put up with.

That explains why Ai left those words behind.

And it also explains how Kamiki couldn’t give up on Ai and couldn’t bear the fact that she was gone. They did a lot in reaction to that to somehow reverse the situation from their own point of view, and in that process, they completely broke down. If this person hadn’t loved Ai so much, or if they didn’t love her at all, they wouldn’t have fallen apart like this…

Really…I'm sure they never anticipated Ai’s death, nor did they ever wish for it, so that's why when it happened, the shock was immense, and they became so desperate that they completely changed.

If they had knowingly caused this to happen, they wouldn’t have been so extreme, risking everything, pouring their entire life into risky behavior. Why would they go through all of that? They have talent, good looks, and seem to make good money, so what’s there to be unsatisfied about? If they had some idea of what might happen, they’d have gone through a process of rationalizing it. He wouldn't be all about "feeling Ai's presence" the way he is, that seems like the only thing he wants.

From their actions, you can see Kamiki hasn’t come to terms with Ai’s death at all.

He loved Ai so much, and in a world without her, he felt like he simply couldn’t go on. He just can’t break free from those feelings…

If you look at this person’s life, Ai was the only one who ever gave him real happiness, love, or cared for him in a meaningful way. And regardless of how good or bad you are as a person, when someone like that disappears from your life, no one can stay sane. The narrative structure really supports this well. Ai had the president and his wife, her B-Komachi team members(although it wasn't completely friendly), and eventually her children. There were at least people she could share affection with, however small that might’ve been. Even toward her fans, Ai expressed love in her own way. But… if you look at Kamiki’s portrayal, he had none of that, and the relationships he did have were either destructive, indifferent to his situation, or not bad but still not dependable. So, even if Kamiki’s base personality was really good (actually, it's because he had such a good nature that he could smile and endure as long as Ai was there with him, even if she was the only one. He would have recovered; he could have lived if Ai existed. Looking at it, Ai really was that kind of person for him. Despite that, Kamiki never clung so unhealthily to her. It’s only after her death that he lost his mind. When she left, he let her go, and later tried to send her flowers with a smile. If he had been obsessed with her—most people would have been to some degree—then the songs wouldn’t have come out this way, and Ai wouldn’t have left behind so much regret about him. Ai was a character who had the insight to recognize someone’s true character. That’s why I believe Kamiki really was a good person. It’s rare to find someone like that…).

Anyway, I don’t think I can discard the reactions from the movie arc… Since many aspects of Kamiki's emotional state and why he acted the way he did can be derived in those chapters. I feel what he had with Ai was indeed genuine.

When you combine them with the songs, everything meets in the middle and harmonizes perfectly.

The movie arc’s depiction (where they really did love each other and had a good relationship) and the current chapters (where the character has completely lost his mind)

and the songs (something had an influence on Kamiki while he was in a desperate, unstable mental state, wanting to meet Ai again after her death)

—when you put those together, it makes sense.

If you just look at only the movie arc and the current chapters, there’s a gap in between.

Really, this manga…

It’s strangely keeping so many things hidden. If Kamiki were the final boss or the true villain, they wouldn’t handle it like this. I don’t think he can be the final boss or the true villain, anyway… The author will figure it out. But if they were going in that direction, directing it this way would backfire. If Kamiki had done all these bad things, they should show everything and make us cheer for Aqua. But I can’t bring myself to think Aqua’s in the right. He just seems foolish, and it’s frustrating to watch him. He’s not cool at all. It’s annoying. How can he not understand his mother’s heart? He doesn’t listen. He’s stubborn.

Kamiki's a depressed person who’s suffered too much, gone mad, and had no one to help him…

In the song "Fatal,"

“How many times have I wished for it? For a hand to soothe the festering wounds in my heart” < doesn’t a lyric like that come up?

Haha, isn’t this exactly Kamiki? It makes sense that he’d miss Ai so dearly. How would he NOT long for her? She’s gone!! He has no one!!! He believes she died because of him. That’s why he’s gone insane!!!

His own son is trying to kill him, self-harming, drowning him… If he dies, then seriously, what was this person’s life even for? I don’t feel sorry for Aqua. He’s not cool. No one ever wanted him to die, not even Kamiki, who was trying to send him away. Aqua is such a fool!! And anyway, he’s not going to die, is he? So it doesn’t even matter. Saltwater will only make his wounds worse, that idiot. I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He stabbed himself! (I’m so mad). No, I care for Aqua, but the current situation frustrates me~~~~~ why is the story making me feel this way about the main character? And it's not like I'm a person who can't read between the lines. I think A LOT. and I think that's why I've been suffering from reading this piece, UGH.

Honestly, Hikaru’s character analysis can be summed up in just a few words if you look at it simply:

A guy who went insane because he missed Ai too much. This is basically the summary, and I don’t think this will change. After all, the songs are about that—those are the parts of the story that have already been concluded, fully complete.

But when you delve into the details, there are contradictions, lots of unanswered questions, and things don’t seem to fit together. It’s confusing.

However, it doesn’t seem like his character has actually changed that much either. I feel like this was somewhat expected. I just didn’t anticipate the extent of how far he’d gone off the deep end. It was always about the extent for me.

But, when you think about it…

If Hikaru hadn’t really intended to harm Ruby, then Aqua’s actions would have looked completely foolish, so perpaps it was inevitable that something would show he had truly gone mad.

Aqua was trying to avenge Ai by going after this man, but when you think about it, this man really was the one who loved Ai more than anyone else in the world, wasn’t he? They were mutual—both loved each other deeply, and they cared for one another. Kamiki was genuinely a good person, but because of Ai’s death, he broke down because he missed her too much.

So, if Aqua wants to kill him and get revenge for Ai, there’s actually not much justification for it. The address he gave? Honestly, I think that was completely done out of good intentions. Given how he was described as noble, he probably wasn’t such a strange guy up until that point. Considering the fact that Ai and he were mutual, and Ai wants to save him, I think it’s highly likely that he wasn’t guilty of anything major, at least when it came to things involving Ai.

Therefore, if Aqua really planned to die together with him for the sake of revenge or tried to kill him, it'd have just resulted to Aqua just having made a huge mistake. (I mean, in the movie arc, Ruby’s understanding of her mom grew, but Aqua seems like he doesn’t even understand his mom and, despite playing the role of his dad, doesn’t understand him either. Is this because there’s some hidden backstory where he knows his dad’s true nature? What’s going on? Is this because Hikaru really did target Ai on purpose and try to kill her? But if that’s the case!!! If Aqua wanted to kill him over Ai, we’d hear something about Ai, wouldn’t we? He’s only talking about Ruby. In their conversations, it’s Kamiki who brings up Ai directly… even when he’s sinking into the sea he’s thinking he wants to feel Ai’s presence forever. From what I see, aside from asking Ryosuke to deliver flowers, I don’t think he did anything wrong concerning Ai. Maybe he just wanted to deliver flowers, but everything spiraled out of control, driving him insane.)

It all happened by chance. If this guy hadn’t gone insane to the extent of targeting Ruby, then Aqua completely messed up this time, and Aqua is lucky that Hikaru turned out to be such a strange person.

Honestly, this whole development is frustrating.

I can’t even root for Aqua right now, and it just leaves me feeling conflicted. And isn’t Aqua the protagonist? But this whole revenge thing—I'm not even sure if the basic premise is solid. I used to like Aqua, but now I’m left confused—did he really do the right thing? Has anything really been resolved? I don’t know.

This is nothing like a satisfying, cathartic revenge. I’m not even sure if he truly protected Ruby. I mean, sure, maybe he did? But this resolution isn’t good for Ruby either. I don’t think this aligns with what Ai wanted or what Ruby wanted.

Even the dramatic scene of Aqua falling into the water—he’s doing the exact opposite of what Ai wanted, saying, "My mission wasn’t about revenge." That’s what makes me mad. What’s he doing? He said he’d grant Ai’s wish, right? Well, then what he’s doing now is not that!! What would’ve happened if his dad wasn’t as crazy as he thought?

So, plot-wise, even though this direction might fit with Aqua being the protagonist,

I still don’t understand what any of this is supposed to be… Two people who lost Ai and fell apart are now trying to kill each other. It’s frustrating. This doesn’t feel right. It’s like there’s some other culprit who caused all this, but instead, it’s just these two broken people destroying each other.

This isn’t the end of the story, no way. I’m not worried at all, the plot is too weak for that to happen.

I’m not even a bit concerned about Aqua’s life; it wasn’t a wise choice he made to begin with.

Maybe Taiki will come and pull him out of the water, take him to Kana’s concert in his car.

And as for Kamiki… if Ai’s wish holds any meaning, maybe he has a chance for redemption.

Honestly, if he’s saved somehow, that would be something worth watching. The fact that we don’t know anything concrete yet suggests that his thoughts and words may be insane, but his actions might not have amounted to much at all (yeah...I also think that's really low chance). Still, I don’t expect much—I just hope there’s a reason behind why this character’s life was written to be so miserable.

I have some idea of how the manga might progress overall, but as I’m reading it chapter by chapter, I can’t help but get caught up and swayed by everything happening in it… I should probably just read on and accept whatever comes. As long as Kamiki doesn’t have hundreds of hidden corpses somewhere (because then the genre really would take a turn… lol), I think it’ll be fine. That would be so freaky and scary and ridiculous and it'd make me go what is this manga even??? Hope that won't happen because Ai, really did love this man with all her heart. And I think he tried...to do his best for her in his own way but somehow that made him turn this way... hope that's handled as something tragic and melancholic, not just.. some disastrous, freaky, undesirable mess.. it wouldn't contribute to the story in any way.

[avionvadion]

For me personally, I'm somewhere in the middle with it, leaning towards the negative.

I understand what Disney is trying to do. I rewatched the movie a few times as research for my own fic rewrites. Snow White is a product of its time. The pacing is awful, it focuses too much on the wrong things and there are plenty of plot holes. (Seriously, why couldn't Queen Grimhilde just turn Snow White old? That would've accomplished her goals much easier. I genuinely wonder if Diana Wynne Jones had a similar thought, since something like that happened in the Howl's Moving Castle novel.) Snow White, while being fine at her core, needs to be fleshed out more to be a compelling protagonist in a modern movie.

It's understandable as to why. It's one of the first feature length animated movies, so they never fully worked out the kinks with it yet. Hell, I remember hearing from a few different places that Walt wanted to give the prince more screen time, but couldn't because he wasn't confident enough to animate a realistically, attractive human guy yet.

But on the flip side, they are still issues nevertheless. The story is in need of a massive overhaul in order for it to work for modern audiences.

However, the way Disney's going about it is not it. Vil is actually pretty close to how I imagine a modern Snow White to be like. (I would say Neige. Since I think Neige is a one dimensional and bland character in the canon, despite being the Snow White analog, I don't think he's the best example. Maybe if he had an actual personality outside of looking pretty and just being a piece of cardboard for Vil to sneer at.) He's adaptable, considerate and hardworking, wanting to help others become their best selves. He also lacks some of Snow White's glaring issues like her extreme naivety and lack of smarts. (Seriously, why did she let in the Evil Queen into the cottage, especially when she was told not to multiple times and the birds attacked her?) By that same token, he's not perfect and is super flawed. He's domineering, harsh, overly critical, impulsive, judgemental and sometimes is very cruel without meaning too.

Do something like that. Keep the heart of the character, but flesh her out more and make her more flawed and human. Not transform her into a girl boss! There is a strength in being kind in the face of adversity. Hell, she's pretty badass for being a 14 year old who was able to quickly gather herself after she was almost murdered. I wouldn't be able to do that as an adult.

That's not the movie's only issue. The CGI drawves in the movie look super creepy and uncanny valley. They should've used live action little people for those roles.

Frankly, Mirror Mirror looks like it'll be the better Snow White adaptation. (Seriously, go watch that if you haven't. It's actually really good.)

About Snow White, here’s a link to a super in depth character analysis: https://www.tumblr.com/darkspellmaster/179160919595/some-thoughts-regarding-the-disney-princesses-and

I wouldn’t necessarily say her being naive is a glaring issue. She is, as you said, just fourteen years old. She is a child. It’s not abnormal for kids to be naive- even those who are abused.

Snow is a lonely child who wants affection (having lost her bio mom and then later her father) and was holding onto the hope that her step-mother loved her, even if just a little bit, despite the harsh treatment, because sometimes that’s just how it goes, sadly. The truth can be staring you in the face, but you’re so desperate for affection from those that are supposed to love you that you ignore all the signs otherwise. She’s a child, one who is grieving the loss of her father and trying to fill the hole in her heart with the love of her step-mother, love she is painfully denied.

Snow isn’t unintelligent either. She cleaned the dwarves house as a BARGAINING CHIP to convince them to let her to stay. Snow may be trusting, but she isn’t stupid.

“I know! We’ll clean this house and surprise them! Maybe then they’ll let me stay?”

Snow has nowhere to go, she learned her step-mother (who she so dearly hoped held some tiny amount of love for her) is out to take her life, and while she isn’t one of my favorite princesses she is far from unintelligent. She was raised as a scullery maid, one of the hardest jobs someone can have. Cleaning is the one thing she KNOWS how to do. She’s taking advantage of that fact to win herself somewhere safe to stay.

And, being a scullery maid, she knows not to judge by appearances because she likely worked with a LOT of not pretty/very hideous people. (The analysis I linked goes into depth about this. Scullery maids had it ROUGH.)

It’s obvious she was uncomfortable by the old woman, but the hag feigned having a weak heart but because of her experiences she gave the benefit of the doubt. (You ask why Snow let her in, but do you really think she’d just let an old woman have a heart attack or stroke without trying to help??? The birds may have been sus of the hag but wild animals are still wild animals. Snow can only communicate through song, she likely thought they were just trying to cause mischief or were being jealous at the attention she was giving to the old woman. It’s yet another show of Snow being kind and doing her best not to judge someone she doesn’t yet know.) How was Snow supposed to guess the apple was poisoned??? She didn’t see the queen brew the evil potion. She didn’t even know the hag WAS the Evil Queen.

There are issues, yes, but not in her naivety or “lack of smarts”. Snow White did the best she could in the situation she was in with the talents she had and the experiences she was given.

Also, I will have to argue about Neige not being naive. Vil makes it VERY obvious he doesn’t like Neige, but Neige blatantly ignores it despite Vil reprimanding him time and again. He has this ideal of Vil in his head and projects it onto the real Vil, and thus does not suspect that the apple juice is poisoned. Heck, he doesn’t suspect bad of anyone- or even realize he’s being badmouthed.

Neige is just as much as Snow White as Snow White is Neige. But whereas Snow White grew up working as a scullery maid and thus was taught not to judge others by appearance, Neige instead projects an ideal onto Vil because he (like Snow White who craves love and affection) wants so badly to be friends with him.

One could make a modern Snow White. Could even give Florian (Prince Buckethead!) more screen time and personality. Do more with the relationship between the Evil Queen who hates her step-daughter and Snow who wants so badly to be loved by her step-mother that she ignores all the red flags.

But don’t erase what made the character who she is in the process.

Also, Disney needs to read up on Miner’s Lung. There’s a reason why the dwarves don’t clean and their house is so dusty. Snow cleaned the house as a bargaining chip to let her stay, as the house was so badly messy because the dwarves are MINERS who literally mine all day (first few lyrics of Heigh-ho) from dawn to dusk, and then spend (what is likely) a couple hours WALKING back home. They’re too tired to clean and inhale even MORE dust, and they are absolutely NOT going to let some lady they don’t know who barged into their home boss them into cleaning.

(Like. What even. What even were the new lyrics to the remake of that song. Disney, do you have any idea what you’re writing or what the plot of the original was??? The implied background stories???)

The remake is just. So bad. In so so so so so many ways.

Disney needs to STOP with the live-actions already.

[codthefishgod]

Analysis post for episode 78 of Faroff, AKA Stars: Part 3

Split below for spoilers!

Oh my god oh my god oh my god GUYS. THIS EPISODE WAS EVERYTHING.

Let's start from the beginning. First off, the way Fenn reacted to Tobias--to what Tobias said, and him placing his hand over his--is already huge for him. This is the first time he hasn't freaked out and gotten angry, or tried to run away. This is the first time that he's allowed himself to just...Enjoy Tobias being affectionate towards him.

Not only that, 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦. He didn't pull his hand away from Tobias', and he agreed to another dance. So not only did he allow himself to accept the affection, he's also allowing himself to reciprocate it, to a degree. It's incredible for him.

Of course, he could retreat back into his shell at any time, so I won't say this is definitely here to stay, but either way it's certainly promising. It shows that they're both truly becoming comfortable with one another. Fenn seems to be getting to that point where "he's the enemy" isn't the first thing he thinks of whenever Tobias tries to initiate something. It's insane how far he's come, when you look back.

Next up, I absolutely adore that Tobias immediately offered Fenn a way out the second he saw Fenn might be uncomfortable. Obviously that's the bare minimum, but unfortunately we live in a world where even the bare minimum is rare, so I feel the need to compliment it.

Tobias knows that Fenn is brainwashed. He knows he might think he doesn't want something that he does actually want. Tobias himself is lonely and pretty badly love starved. But still, even if Fenn only THINKS he doesn't want to dance with him, that's enough of a reason to stop. He wouldn't push it any further. He's flirty and always trying to make moves, but he never crosses boundaries. Again, bare minimum, but I just adore healthy communication.

In any case, it makes the fact that Fenn said 𝘯𝘰, it's okay, go on... All the better. He knows he doesn't have to. No one's making him. It's 100% voluntary. He WANTS to dance with Tobi. Again, it shows Fenn's character development, the fact that he's willing to make that active decision to let it continue, to keep being close with Tobias. He's only teaching you after all... Right? 👀

Following that... Ah, well back to the unserious stuff. The way Fenn stepped back at first is hilarious to me, he looks like a crab--still getting the hang of not losing his shit every time Tobias touches him, I suppose. And Miss Sofia Mittens is watching from afar... Probably thinking about how her mission is completed, yes?

Okay, if I can take this in a more genuine manner though, Tobias understood why Fenn was having trouble relaxing. Of course he did, that's why he told him to pretend as if they weren't from their respective countries, like they weren't on opposite sides. What I find interesting is Fenn's reaction. How willing he was to accept it, no rejections. Back in the day, Fenn would have NEVER entertained the idea of "forgetting" that Tobias is a Vaylinian, even less so the idea of "forgetting" that he himself is a Sonan. This is one of a handful of times where Fenn put Tobias above his duties, his patriotism. Where he decided he was more important. Which, considering Fenn's duties have been his main purpose in life for years, is huge.

Yet another Never Before Seen Thing™ from Fenn this episode was how close he was willing to go to Tobias' face to see the birthmarks under his eye. I don't have much to say about it, no special insights or anything, but it's still notable progress. I don't think Fenn has ever leaned up all close to Tobias like that before.

Tobias' attitude towards the birthmarks though... I'm not saying this particular brand of self loathing can't be natural, it absolutely can, but... I'm willing to bet some pretty hard cash that Tobias wasn't the one who hated them originally, it was his mom. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, I AM rather biased, considering I hate Vivienne with every flaming bone in my body, but I'll have my suspicions.

Next up, is, of course...

Possibly my favourite line ever uttered in the history of Faroff...

NOTHING. ABOUT. YOU. IS. UGLY.

I should probably say something smart about how this shows Fenn being more open about his feelings with Tobias and all, but to be honest, this panel scrambles my brain in the best way possible. IT'S JUST SO GOOD.

Tobias looking so astounded at this could be, of course, just be him being surprised by Fenn complimenting him in such a way. I'm not going to say it's anything more than that for sure. However, I think it could also partially be the fact that I don't think he's ever heard anything like that from 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦, full stop. Something that said 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦. I don't think he's ever known anyone who was willing to accept him in his entirety like that, besides maybe Alice...

Another thing about this scene is Fenn initiating contact by touching Tobias' face. Fenn very rarely ever initiates contact, even more rarely than he accepts it, I'd say. Just. I know I keep saying this but CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT‼️

Of course, it didn't last long, it must've been approximately five seconds before he lost his nerve... Which brings me to my next point. The way Fenn said "for a MAN" reminds me of how he said "for a VAYLINIAN" back in episode 44. In general, the way he said it reminds me of his usage of Vaylinian. It makes me wonder that if now that he's starting to see Tobias as his own person and not an enemy, his main obstacle will shift from their status as enemies to the fact that Tobias is another man. I think that them being from opposite sides will stay a major problem, don't get me wrong, I only wonder if this might become the more pressing problem for him when it comes to actually pursuing a relationship with Tobias. We'll have to wait and see.

GOD I want to gush about Tobias putting Fenn's hand back on his face too sjwjwjwkekek IT SHOULD BE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS TO THEM THAT THEY LIKE EACH OTHER NOW, RIGHT? A pretty good part of me still thinks it's too early for them to be together, it's only been a month after all, but the other part of me wonders what type of mental gymnastics they'd have to do to ignore this night. Again, just wait and see...

FINALLY, THAT GOD DAMNED RADIO INTERRUPTING THEM. Before we take it out back and blow it up for crimes against the fandom, let's talk. I think this news could be very important. I don't know if it'll be "removed from the wall" important, considering I still think we have some unfinished business at the wall that should be closed up before beginning the next arc, but important. It's very possible that it'll bring Fenn back to his Sonan™ mindset... I wonder if typical battles are enough to make "Breaking News" on the radio anymore. It has been several decades, after all... Ah, well. I don't know. I'd tell you my theories for what the news might be, but I really don't have any. Or, I do, but all of them sound either too extreme or not extreme enough. I'm losing my touch, lmao.

Thanks for reading!

[veliseraptor]

March Reading Recap

Juliet: The Life and Afterlives of Shakespeare's First Tragic Heroine by Sophie Duncan. I actually really liked this one! It was an interesting look at several different lenses that have been used over time to look at Juliet (specifically Juliet, not the play), including the relationship between fascism and Juliet in Verona, Italy and the development of West Side Story (didn't know Juliet was Jewish in an early version). I enjoy sort of niche/specific books focusing on a very particular subject, and this book scratched that itch well.

The Brilliant Abyss: Exploring the Majestic Hidden Life of the Deep Ocean, and the Looming Threat That Imperils It by Helen Scales. I read this book too soon after The Underworld by Susan Casey which, while not necessarily a better book, covered a lot of the same terrain. The trouble with a keen interest in a niche topic is, I suppose, that the books on it can start to get repetitive sometimes. It was still good, though, and this one focused a bit less on the history of human exploration than Casey did and a bit more on the ecosystems themselves, which I did welcome.

Blood of the Chosen and Emperor of Ruin by Django Wexler. The second and third books in the series that started with Ashes of the Sun - both continued the trend of "I don't know that I'd call these particularly good works of literature but they were very enjoyable and propulsive." The second book was stronger than the third - I ended up feeling like the conclusion of the trilogy was weaker and a little rushed, but I still enjoyed the experience as a whole and would offer at least a tentative, general recommendation of the series for those looking for a fantasy series that's not particularly innovative or serious but is an exciting ride.

The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis. This book reminded me a little bit of Such Desperate Glory but wasn't quite as well done, I don't think. The back compared it to Mass Effect but I don't really see that as a reasonable comparison. Possibly one of my favorite things about it was the cover design, which fucks. I still liked it, though, and I'm going to read the sequel.

The Great White Bard: How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race by Farah Karim-Cooper. Sometimes when I read things I feel like a snot because I go "this is interesting information but the writing feels a little amateurish" and that was my situation with this book. It was good analysis and interesting to read, though sometimes the "and this is how this is modern-ly relevant! q-anon mention" felt a little bit...ehhh, unnecessary, but the writing itself was...yeah. It felt amateurish. Which might just be a result of the book itself being targeted at a particular audience that's less academically-minded than I am, that's certainly possible, but it did affect my enjoyment of the book.

Last Days by Adam Nevill. Mostly this was good spooky fun, though it lost me with the "the ultimate bad guy is an overweight bisexual actor with AIDS" (it's a little more complicated than that, but not enough). Too bad, because conceptually and in terms of imagery it could've been very good. Between this and my last Nevill, I might have to give future books a pass. My search for horror that isn't playing on bigoted tropes apparently continues, since I'm on a bit of a streak there with this and Ring.

China: A History by John Keay. I'd call this one a solid overview despite the choice to use "bureaux" for the plural. However, I'm taking a lot of it with a grain of salt since as far as I can tell he didn't use many or possibly any Chinese secondary sources, and relied primarily for quotations/analysis on English secondary sources. I would've liked to see more of a balance. Still, as far as background information and a general broad history goes, it feels like it was worth reading for me to get a little more background/grounding in history I don't have a lot of familiarity with. (Also, holy shit did Ken Liu crib hard on Liu Bang and Xiang Yu for The Grace of Kings and now I know that.)

Remnants of Filth: vol. 3 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. I continue to really enjoy this book and this volume might be my favorite yet - the flashbacks were satisfying to fill in some of the gaps in mysteries as yet unrevealed, and having Gu Mang fully "back" (more or less) is a fun development that is already having consequences changing the dynamic between him and Mo Xi in delightfully angsty ways. Of the cnovels I'm currently in the middle of this one is close to LHJC as far as my favorite.

Starter Villain by John Scalzi. This one is what I think people would call a "romp" which is all well and good and I probably should've known what I was getting into, but I think I am just not much of a "romp" reader. It was fun, I guess? But I don't know that I felt like it was good, and I'm probably not going to go around recommending it. My first Scalzi, and I don't know if that's typical of him, but I probably won't be in a hurry to pick up another one anytime soon.

Invisible Planets: Contemporary Chinese Science Fiction in Translation ed./trans. by Ken Liu. Short story collections are really hit and miss for me, but this was actually a collection that was pretty hit all the way through! Very interesting stories, a couple I'm still thinking about. I'm looking forward to reading my other collection of short stories in translation, which includes some fantasy - some of these actually felt somewhere between fantasy and science fiction in a very interesting way that I liked.

--

phew. I read a lot last month! Currently I'm reading Medea by Eilish Quin (we'll see how that goes); I have on my docket The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler (recommended to me) and I think I might reread She Who Became the Sun so I can read He Who Drowned the World. I've been on more of a fiction than a nonfiction kick of late, but I am eyeing Islands of Abandonment by Cal Flyn and might make that part of my rotation. we shall see!

[ficticiousdelicious]

Facts and opinions about Bazz-B and Haschwalth's fighting prowess. (partial analysis)

We talkin' fights and Auswählen in here. (yep, spoilers below)

(some facts and some opinions)

Is it just me or does the fact that Auswählen went off before Bazz and Haschwalth's fight not get mentioned enough when discussing how mighty Haschwalth actually is (and how much of a match Bazz was for Haschwalth)? This seems like a big deal to consider.

Auswählen, activated by Yhwach, sucked the power and life out of a ton of quincies (including Bazz) and killed most of them in both manga (603, 604) and anime (TYBW 25). Both ways, it is described as giving those it benefits additional power with the ability to revive them too. The quincies who are victims were shown in both versions to have lost their Vollständig, many died outright and those who survived have physical injuries if directly struck by Auswählen.

How do quincies survive Auswählen?

According to Kubo in Klub Outside (Q&A no. 689) (and some explanation in TYBW anime episode 40?), most of the reason quincies can survive Auswählen is by being young and healthy as Auswählen's selection prioritizes taking power and life from older and weak quincies. (seems reiryoku related) The 'power' Auswählen claims seems like reishi but it's more than that. Mayuri actually supposes it's power taken directly from the victims' souls (anime - TYBW 25). Yhwach's background (manga 565) gives more lore for this. Also the other way quincies survive Auswählen is by being special mysterious buttons (Uryu). lol

What did Auswählen do for Haschwalth?

In the manga (603 and 604) Auswählen was activated from inside Hikifune's cage. Haschwalth wasn't shown fighting and was not definitively shown to be benefiting from Auswählen, but he was with Yhwach and the Schutzstaffel invading the Royal Palace's landing. After the Schutzstaffel got spanked by Squad Zero, Auswählen was shown to have revived and perked up the Schutzstaffel (everyone but Askin was shown with wings).

In the anime (TYBW 25) Auswählen was activated outside of Hikifune's cage. After collecting power it gathers the power together then falls down in a large area like blue rain. Haschwalth had been cut down by Tenjiro while using his shield and sword to fight. The Schutzstaffel got spanked by Squad Zero. Auswählen was shown to have revived and perked up not only the Schutzstaffel but also Haschwalth and Uryu (they stood up in frame together). The Schutzstaffel all had their Vollständig activated as a result too.

What did Auswählen do to Bazz-B?

In the manga (585, 586, 587) Bazz is using Vollständig to fight with, inconsistently depicted. In the anime (TYBW 21, 22, 24) Bazz is using Vollständig to fight as well but with more consistent depiction. Later, in both manga (603, 604) and anime (TYBW 25), Bazz was hit directly by Auswählen (bright columns of light that fell down from the sky seeming to target quincies) and survived but in future events he only uses his Schrift 'The Heat' and his Heilig Bogen to fight. He doesn't appear to have the ability to use Vollständig again. Bazz also sustained physical injuries from the Auswählen, as seen on him after being hit and as noted by Haschwalth (manga - 630; anime - TYBW 38).

Why the heck does all this matter?

Auswählen affects a quincy's power (how much power they have [in their soul?]). It also seems to affect their physical health. Both of these are huge factors in a fight. Wearing down an opponent's ability to fight is a pretty big deal - often the goal to win a fight. That's made easier if your opponent walks up already worn down... I hope it's obvious what I'm getting at.

How much of a match was Bazz for Haschwalth?

Before Auswählen, Bazz certainly stood more of a chance against Haschwalth. After? We've read/seen the outcome. Bazz lost. However beautifully tragic their fight was it is NOT a good benchmark for measuring Bazz's actual strength nor Haschwalth's. Here's why: They were both affected by a serious outside event (Auswählen) that changed one if not both of their power levels. In the manga (630) and anime (TYBW 38) Haschwalth takes note of Bazz's injuries from Auswählen still being present, so we can safely assume Bazz has not recovered. Bazz is also not seen using Vollständig in either version. No matter what Bazz wasn't fresh. Answering whether Yhwach's Auswählen benefited Haschwalth before his fight with Bazz is a mess, manga and anime conflict with the manga being unclear (yikes). However when Bazz approaches Haschwalth to fight we don't see injuries on Haschwalth and he wasn't shown doing much before so it's pretty safe to assume he's rather fresh and possibly juiced up from Auswählen. Haschwalth does not seem to use his Schrift nor his spirit weapon (shield) to fight Bazz, just his sword. It's a little weird that Haschwalth beat a guy with fire and multiple kinds of ranged attacks by swinging a sword at opportune moments without getting very hurt. Was Haschwalth using some form of reishi in his blood to make his sword attacks extra effective??? We don't get told enough about Haschwalth to know for sure. Then again...Bazz doesn't seem to have a lot of defensive abilities, which means he's more prone to injuries. I guess Bazz couldn't use Blut Vene; I don't think we ever see him do that.

If you want my least biased opinion on whether Bazz was a match for Haschwalth sans Auswählen: yeah sure, Bazz could have been a match for Haschwalth but he lacks defense. Bazz's versatile and ranged abilities are effective, and if he could figure out Haschwalth's Balance I think Bazz could put up a great fight. That's a big if though. Haschwalth's Balance is a difficult power to deal with and if handled wrong by the opponent it's absolutely deadly. I do wonder if Haschwalth would ever use his extra abilities against Bazz though.

Other Ways to Gauge Bazz and Haschwalth's Might:

A better way to gauge Bazz's power might be by his battle with Hitsugaya and Matsumoto (manga 547 - 551; anime - TYBW 15), however we don't get to see his Vollständig there. This fight is before Auswählen went off. Without Auswählen Haschwalth certainly knows his way around a sword, having a shield for defense is great if you use it and his Schrift is a nasty surprise for opponents...but there didn't seem to be many fights that feel complete enough to truly gauge him well. His fight with Bazz (manga 630 - 634; anime - TYBW 38) seems like the most complete one. I wouldn't say Haschwalth's fight with Uryu helps much because too many times we don't see the results of attacks as the panels cut to other events.

Concluding Thoughts

As you can see from all these words, deciding how mighty Haschwalth really is and how Bazz matches up to him is kind of a mess. Auswählen's use is so important to remember when thinking about these things because of how much it does. Bazz I think is easier to gauge because he has complete fights before Auswählen; the dude's agile, versatile and decently strong but his defensives are like...non-existent. Haschwalth seems to have more defensive use than offensive, yet I want to say he's a terrifying swordsman but I hesitate because most of the proof I'm looking at comes after Auswählen went off - he still does seem great with a sword. So, it's all very interesting but it's really a mess.