#it wasn't groundbreaking or anything but it was fun and didn't make me want to stab my brain with a fork so that's always good

[cellythefloshie]

;; I Did Something Bad Dedicated to @hockeyboysimagines

Summary: After you send a sexy snap to the wrong Brady, you and your stepbrother cross a line that you had never considered crossing before. Kinks & Tropes: Age Gap (18 vs. 22). Stepcest. Phone Sex/Sexting. Praise. Mutual Masturbation. Protective Big Brother. Reader Nickname: "Sissy". PLEASE NOTE, this work of fiction depicts a budding sexual relationship between step-siblings who grew up together from ages 10 and 14 - step-siblings who always considered one another siblings. -- Set during Brady's time as a New York Ranger. Word Count: 4k+ A/N: Happy Birthday to the lovely @hockeyboysimagines ! You have been the best worst influence for me as a writer, always encouraging me to write what I want to write instead of what I should be working on. And you very well know October was meant to be spent with the filthiest of Brady Skjei content. This is very much the tip of the iceberg for Brady and his stepsister, and I couldn't be more thrilled to get the two of them going because of your birthday. This fic is in no way groundbreaking, but it's filthy and fun and maybe even a little toxic. But if I know someone who is going to appreciate it for their birthday, it's you! AND a quick little shout out to @hagelpoint-3821 who was around when my filthy mind birthed this idea probably 2 years ago now! It's finally happening!

“Do you always think of me when you touch yourself?”

Your blood ran cold. You recognized the voice in an instant, and it wasn't the one you expected to hear when you answered the phone. And it was nowhere near anything you thought would leave your stepbrother's mouth. 

His words sent a rush of heat surging through you. It sent your skin red hot with embarrassment as you lay in bed, one hand still in your panties and the other holding the phone to your ear so tightly your hand ached. You wished the embarrassment could have been for him. That he had somehow dialed the wrong number. That he meant to dial whichever slut he had in whichever city he was in for the night. But that was just a dream of a possibility, because he knew exactly what he was doing when he phoned you. 

Silently, you drew your phone back from your face, a quivering breath trembling through your body as you opened Snapchat on your phone and looked at your last sent messages. At the top of the list was Brady, the red and white arrow beside his name showing you the last message sent to him was minutes ago. And just below him, the intended recipient of your message, Braedy. He was an idiot you’d met in the back row of your first year psychology class. You’d exchanged numbers on the first day, which led to helping him with assignments while he helped you with orgasms. But while he was in his dorm room across campus, rock hard and waiting for your next risque picture, you lay still in bed with your stepbrother on the other end of the phone. 

Swallowing hard, in an attempt to moisten your dry mouth, you accepted that the silence had been too long to pretend that you hadn’t accidentally sent him a picture of your hand in your panties. 

“I-” you started, but you formed no words. Anything you could have thought to say became strangled in your throat.  "Sissy, was that picture not meant for me?" Brady asked, saving you from the need to provide him with some sort of explanation, but it didn't make you feel any better. Your heart continued to pound against your chest as it flooded with panic and embarrassment.

“No, I, ah-” you breathed, your attempt at words more of a stutter than the beginnings of an explanation. 

“And I thought you were being a good girl-” your core clenched “-focusing on your studies on campus. I don’t have to come down there and check in on you, do I?”

You shook your head slowly as if he could see it, your hair becoming a mess on your pillow. Your breathing was shallow and uneven, your body hot and sweaty even as you lay there in nothing but a cropped t-shirt and your panties. Panties that your hand had yet you leave and your crotch was still damp with arousal from the brief exchange of photos before Brady’s interruption. An interruption that should have dried you up like a desert. Yet, you were just as wet as when you answered the call, if not wetter. 

“Are you still there, sissy?” It was only with his words that you realized he couldn’t see your response. 

“No, I-” your throat caught your words as you fumbled with what exactly to say. Brady’s words were so calm, sounding cautious and thought out, while your mind was so frantic you couldn’t even think of the right words to say. 

“I’m still here,” you confirmed with a breath, “and no, you don’t need to check on me.” 

“I’ll be in the area next week,” he hummed slowly, and your eyes darted to the calendar that was on your bedside table. The Rangers would play in Minnesota soon, and while you were sure the team wouldn’t give him time to come visit you on campus, Brady never seemed to fail at scaring any prospecting partners away. It was the big-brother thing to do, or at least that’s always what you guys told yourselves. But as he spoke with his words so thought out as if he was trying to tiptoe through the situation with caution, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was and had always been a little more than that. 

“No, no,” you protested, “I’ll be good.”

“Will you?” Brady challenged. “Be a good girl and block that boy for me.”

“Brady-”

“Do it and show me.” The firmness of his voice sent a wave of heat through you. There would be no fighting him on this, so you obliged.

Slowly, your hand left your panties, the elastic waistband snapping against your hip before you brought your now freed hand up to your phone. You cradled the phone in both hands as you turned on the screen recording and captured blocking your classmate, Braedy, on Snapchat and his phone number. Then you sent the video to your stepbrother, Brady. 

“Good girl,” he praised you, “keep it that way, alright, Sissy. No distractions. Promise.”

“I promise,” you breathed out, though you were fully entertaining the idea of unblocking Braedy as soon as this awkward phone call was over. What Brady didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, or you. 

“Good girl,” he said again, your body reacting the same to his soft praise, and it nearly left you reeling against your pillow. You shouldn’t be feeling that way, especially with Brady on the phone. Yet, you forced out a quivering breath and chalked it up to coincidence and the poor timing of his call. “Are you in bed?” he asked you slowly. 

“Yes,” you confirmed. 

“Wearing those pretty little panties?”

You lay there in the same silence that had consumed you when you had heard his voice when you had answered the call. Had you just heard him right, or was your mind playing tricks on you? Or maybe, just maybe, you had fallen asleep watching shitty pornography, and this was all just a dream. 

You pinched yourself. 

No, not a dream. 

You had accidentally sent your stepbrother a suggestive photo, and now he was what, trying to have phone sex with you? It didn’t make sense, but did all at once.

The two of you had always been close, even if your parents hadn’t married until you were 10 and he was 14. He had snapped into your life so perfectly. Brady was the big brother you had always wanted. From helping you with your homework, to attending both his high school football games and his hockey games, too. The two of you did it all together. Even when he was off to college, you were there supporting him, counting down the days until you too would attend the same university in his footsteps. And then there were the jokes, made by your own parents, that if the two of you weren’t siblings, the two of you would get married. It was always a joke, one that both you and Brady had laughed at - but it was all coming to crest now. Had the joke always been funny because it was true?

The two of you just never admitted it - or fully entertained the idea - until you had forced it all by accident. 

Biting down on your lip, you chewed it slowly as you took in a slow breath. You had a decision to make, and the weight of it rested heavily on your chest. You could answer him, paint a sexy little picture for him with your words, or you could hang up. 

“Brady,” his name was weak on your lips, your tongue darting out to run over your lips slowly. 

“Sorry,” he spoke quickly, “I can hang up. We can pretend this didn’t happen-”

“No, don’t,” you spoke out too quickly as you shot up in bed, “don’t hang up.” 

He replied with nothing but a soft sigh, one that sounded like a smile and relief. 

Slowly, you pressed up onto your knees, your thighs pressing firmly together to ease the tension that continued to build throughout your body. One hand left your phone and tucked your hair behind your ears and out of your face before falling to rest on the top of your thighs. “Where are you right now?” 

“My hotel room in Detroit,” he answered slowly. 

You swallowed hard. “Alone?”

Brady hummed his confirmation into the phone, sparking a sense of excitement into you. “Maybe,” your lips curled up into a soft smile as you spoke, “I could send you another picture. Would that be wrong?”

Yes. Yes, it would. But he didn’t stop you. Instead, Brady encouraged you. “Wrong? No. It’s just a picture, right?” You weren't sure if he was trying to convince you, or if he was trying to convince himself that what you were about to do was okay. 

His words made you giddy when they should have. And with a stupid smile, your phone left your ear as you positioned yourself on the bed. You knelt there with your legs slightly spread so he could have a clear view of your panties. Snapping the picture, you wrinkled your nose at the outcome. You didn’t like it. You posed again after fixing your shirt just right to show off just the right amount of under-boob in the next picture. It was great, but there was one issue: you could see your face. Thumb hesitating over the send button, you contemplated about taking another, one where you couldn't see your face. A picture like the ones you had sent your classmate earlier. Yet, you hit send. Because this was Brady, and if he shared it with anyone else, he would get into as much trouble as you would. 

“There, I sent it to you,” you told him as you brought the phone back up to your ear.

You could hear Brady's satisfied hum through the phone as you relaxed back on the bed. “You look so pretty on your knees,” he told you and you threw yourself back on the pillow with a too wide grin. “Such an amazing body you have, Sissy.”

Your cheeks flushed with color. This wasn’t the first time he’s seen so much of your skin. Your family had taken a vacation somewhere hot every year for as long as you could remember, but this was the first time Brady could really comment on it. 

“Can I show you something?” Brady asked, and your heart quickened. 

“Yes,” you nodded eagerly, and you waited patiently, your face half buried in your pillow as you waited for his picture to be sent. 

Yet, when that red square popped up on your screen, you hesitated to open it. It was one thing to send a picture, but to receive one. Opening it would mean you both crossed a line and there would be no coming back from it. Then, as you did most decisions, you took the risky option with no consideration for the repercussions you would face in the future. You held your thumb down on the screen, the sight it unlocked leaving your breath to hitch in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes went to the shadow of his abs first and traveled down the dark trail of hair on his stomach as it began just below his navel and disappeared behind the gray fabric of his sweatpants. Licking your lips, you indulge yourself in the sight of his cock tenting up against his sweatpants. You had no words, your mouth falling agape in a heavy exhale as you tried to keep your body calm. But it was too late. Your skin was hot with arousal and on the verge of sweating, and as you pressed your ass down into the mattress, you could feel just how slick you were between your thighs. 

Raising your phone back up to your ear, you greeted Brady with a quivering breath and he spoke with confidence into your ear. There was no need to tiptoe around things now. “You see what your little accident did to me?”

“Oh? Did I do that?” you answered his question with a question, your words knowing and sickeningly sweet as you let your hand run down your own stomach and stopped at the waistband of your panties. Your fingers traced over its edge slowly, craving to dip deeper, but you would wait. 

“Do you think you can help me take care of it?” Brady asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice. You bit your lip, hiding your own smile from yourself, and he must have taken it as a moment of hesitation because Brady’s words found your ear again. “You have such a great body, Sissy. It’s so hard to ignore, and that picture,” he let out a long exasperated breath, “send me another one?”

“What do you want to see?” You asked him. Your words were a breath that you thought he might not even have heard. 

“Whatever you’re comfortable showing me,” Brady answered. 

His words had been soft, melting you further and further into the mess of a puddle that you were. “Let me just,” you hummed out, “give me one second.”

Peeling the phone away from your ear, you opened Snapchat again. You tried to take a picture laying down, but each one left you feeling undesirable. Then you rolled over onto your side where you knew your cleavage would be the star of the show if you had been wearing anything else, but the high neckline of your cropped sleep shirt kept your breasts at bay. You let out a frustrated huff as you moved to the edge of the bed and spread your legs. At this angle, he could see just how wet the crotch of your panties was. 

With your phone in one hand, you posed with the other. You placed it on your inner thigh first, but you didn’t like that. Then, you rested it over your panties but decided it was too close to the first image he had received. You almost gave up, but then, with the quick swipe of your thumb over the screen, you were recording yourself as your fingers dipped inside the fabric of your panties and found your clit. You pressed into it with the pads of your fingers and stroked it in two slow, agonizing circles before you sent it, without reviewing it, to Brady. 

Your hand didn’t leave your panties as you sprawled out lazily over the bed. Stroking yourself slowly, you listened to Brady breathe into the phone, undoubtedly watching the clip you had just sent to him. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, and you pressed into your clit harder, “so beautiful, sissy. You’re so wet,” Brady let out a low groan, “you make my cock so hard.”

“Are you touching yourself, Brady?” You asked him, your words breathy, “Touching yourself, because of me?”

“I am,” he confirmed with a heavy breath into the phone, “you want to see it, Sissy?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, your feet leaving the floor to dig into the mattress. You dipped your fingers down lower, parting your wet lips and teasing the entrance of your core as you waited for the notification to buzz against your ear. It almost startled you when it did, even if you were expecting it. 

Lulling your head to the side, you let the clip play. Brady was laying in the hotel bed now, his sweatpants pulled down just below his balls. His hockey hardened hand wrapped around his thick cock as she stroked it slowly. Up and down, then up again, making sure you could see the very length of him. 

Your eyes shut as the clip disappeared, trying to keep the sight of it in your mind as you plunged two fingers into your dripping core. 

“Brady,” you gasped out, your phone laying back on the bed almost completely abandoned until you had reached out quickly to put the call on speaker. You couldn’t hold it any longer. You needed both hands now. With your two fingers in your cunt, your other hand dipped beneath the cotton and found your clit again, rubbing it in those same slow circles. 

“You like that, Sissy?” Brady’s voice erupted from the phone beside you, and you were suddenly thankful that your roommate had been spending the night at her boyfriend’s place. No one would overhear him saying things stepbrother shouldn’t say, and no one would hear you moan. 

“Mhm,” you hummed, and it sounded like a whine.

“What are you doing now?” Brady asked you slowly, his words quick as he breathed through the pleasure of his own hand. “Your hand still in your panties, Sissy?”

“Yes,” you gasped out, “they feel so good.”

“What feels good?” Brady asked you slowly, “tell me.” 

“My fingers,” you squeezed your eyes tighter, fighting to speak your words when all you wanted to do was moan. “My fingers in my cunt.”

“That’s so sexy,” he told you and a wave of heat hit you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge that you already felt on the verge of falling over. “How many?”

“Two,” you panted out. 

“Two? That’s not nearly enough.” A lump formed in the back of your throat as he spoke. “No, no, I think I’m at least three of your fingers.” Your walls clenched at the very idea of sliding a third finger into your core, and your hips wiggled, taking your own fingers until they were knuckle deep at the very prospect of pretending that you were being fucked by his thick cock. “Can you do that for me, Sissy? Put a third finger in for me?”

Withdrawing your fingers, you brought three fingers together and pressed the very tip of them to your entrance. You gasped at just how much more they would fill you. “Brady, that’s too much,” you gasped. 

“Would I be too much for you, Sissy?” His question made you shiver. “Is my cock too big for that pretty little pussy of yours?”

“I-I,” you stammered, your heart racing deep in your chest as you hesitated to even try. 

“Take a breath, get nice and relaxed for me,” his words were soft as he guided you, “circle your cunt with three fingers for me. What do you feel?”

“I’m dripping,” you told him with a quivering voice. “I can feel it all down the back of my hand.”

“Good girl,” he cooed, “so slick and horny for my cock. Slowly press just the tips of your fingers. Nice and slow.” His words were gentle and encouraging as you followed his guidance, your core feeling so tight around the tips of your fingers, but the longer you held them there, still inside your cunt, the better it felt. 

“And when you’re ready, press in just a little bit more.” Delving your fingers in deeper, you let out an audible gasp, one that left Brady moaning on the other end of the phone. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah,” you assured, your toes curling over the edge of your bed as you pumped your fingers in and out of your dripping core. “It feels so good, Brady.”

“I can hear how wet you are, Sissy,” Brady groaned. “You like this? You like thinking of me when you touch yourself. Talking to me when your fingers are buried in your cunt.”

“Yes,” you groaned through your grit teeth, “yes! I’m so close, Brady.”

“Don’t hold back. I want to hear you come. I want to hear what you sound like when you moan,” he encouraged you, and you could hear his hand pumping at his cock. 

Your body reeled in your bed, your hips jutted into your own hand as you gasped and moaned out. Core clenching around your fingers, squeezing them as if they were desperate for the come of his cock. You rolled over, so you were laying face down in the bed. Your hips angled, taking your fingers down to the knuckle and humping them until you fell into the dreamy haze of your release. It left you dazed, so ready for sleep, as you lay there staring at your phone, panting. 

The air was silent for a long time, nothing heard but your own breathing as you calmed. It was a silence that lulled you close and closer to sleep, and Brady must have known it. “Are you going to sleep now, Sissy?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. 

“Good girl, get cleaned up and rest. I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?”

You hummed out in approval, “okay, night Brady.”

“Night.”

The line cut, leaving you in the silence alone with nothing but the weight of what just had happened. It should have bothered you, you knew it should. Instead, you were calm as you rolled out of bed and stepped out of your wet panties. Abandoned on the floor, you left them there as you reached for the makeup wipes you kept on your bedside table. The cold wipe was a shock to your skin as you wiped your hand clean and then used another to clean up the inside of your thighs. A proper shower could wait until morning. 

Clean, or rather clean enough, you crawled back into bed and pulled up the covers only to get him in the face with your phone that had become lost in the mess of your blankets. You let out a low curse as you pushed the covers off to climb out of bed once more to plug in your phone. Blocking your path were your panties, and your heart raced as a mischievous ideal struck you. The idea had you regretting taking them off so quickly, but it was nothing another makeup wipe wouldn’t fix. 

You stepped into your panties and pulled them back up again. Then, you propped up your phone on your desk so that the camera focused on the space between your hips and your mid thighs. When you pressed record, you took a half step back and hooked your thumbs on each side of your panties. You dragged them down slowly, your legs spread just wide enough for the camera to capture your arousal as it webbed and beaded as you peeled your panties from your body. You dragged them down your leg, leaving wet trails down the inside of your thighs until you stood there naked from the waist down in front of the camera. 

You were giddy when you stopped the footage, your cheeks flushed as you sent it off to Brady with no shame. It gave him something to wake up to in the morning. A little reminder of what just had happened, and how your body responded to his words and his guidance. It was fun, though the only person you would ever admit that to was yourself. Not even Brady could know. Not when you were sure he would wake up in the morning with your little gift and be hit hard with the reality of the situation. That one picture accidentally sent to him spiraled further than you both should have let it. 

And as you crawled back into bed, you kept telling yourself: It was just a picture. It was just a phone call. What you did wasn’t wrong. It was a happy little accident, something that only happened one time, and you told yourself it wouldn’t happen again. That was until you woke up the next morning and found a text message from Brady on your phone. 

You hadn’t even left your bed yet when you opened it. Your own video met with his own, one that you could hear your own moans in the background of. While you had been riding your own three fingers, Brady had been thrusting into his hand and was capturing it all on camera. It was a video you were sure he was saving for himself. A dirty little secret he would watch when he wanted to remember what you sounded like when you came. But it was more than that now that he sent to you. Because it wasn’t just a recording of the soft sounds you made, it was also a video of how Brady let out a sigh that you didn’t remember hearing. A video of how his cock twitched and throbbed as it was so close to release–and how he sighed out your name as he shot thick webs of his release up over his toned abs before the phone dropped and the screen went black. It was the video that put everything in perspective. Together you and your stepbrother had created a fucked up little fantasy, and while it was wrong, you didn’t want to stop.

TAGLIST: @mp0625 , @wingedwheelprxncess , @kurlyteuvoteu , @couldawouldashoulda50

[kiisaes]

tell us about vld 👁️

(only if u want to)

i'll spare you a truly unhinged ranting for perhaps another time (even though this is gonna be long anyway) but tldr: vld is a show that could have been really good if it just stuck to its direction from the first two seasons!!! and also if its crew didn't accidentally breed the worst possible fandom ever!!!

it had a really good identity at the start— its characters were entertaining, its art and animation were charming if anything, the VAs were genuinely excellent picks and in terms of story it was simple (considering it's a kids show) but effective. the first two seasons focused on one-off, character-driven episodes that gave room for a lot of character writing, team bonding, and tone establishment. i believe that the reason why vld shipping was already so aggressive since s1 — without crew interference — was because the character writing was like, actually good. good enough where people could take their starting characterizations + team dynamic and run wild with it

vld was never going to be an enlightening, mature, groundbreaking show about anything super deep; it's a Y7 show about robot lions in space. but i'm sure most ppl going into vld didn't expect a piece of art, they just wanted to have fun with an atla-adjacent show, or they watched previous voltron iterations. and for what it was, it was very successful at the start! and one of the more popular netflix originals at its time!

but then vld tried taking itself more seriously in s3, and changed its primary storytelling method. now the episodes weren't usually problem-of-the-week, but each episode's plot had to feed into the next episode in line. which would've been fine, if the crew planned ahead and kept track of its characters and plot

but since the lion switch was also conveniently during this season (which inevitably implied switches in character arcs), keeping track of everything suddenly got way harder. also, the lion switch was ass. breaking my silence: that shit made no sense. why didn't they make allura the black paladin??? why do all those mental gymnastics with moving keith from red to black and lance from blue to red just to give allura blue, which was a lion that didn't even really fit her??? (i know the reason was cuz dotf did this lion placement, but is vld dotf? are the characters archetypes the same? no? i didn't think so!!!)

anyway because of the new serialized storytelling format, vld had to follow this really serious, high-stakes, even occasionally dark narrative to keep viewers engaged, and it just .. wasn't the same? like not only are characters' arcs dropping like flies, we're introducing new characters with barely any development or even personality, and it's not even that fun to watch anymore. what happened to my silly guys. what happened to goofin off in the castle. what happened to episode-long missions. this is not avatar. if i wanted to watch avatar i would just watch avatar.

and! in later seasons i think the crew caught on to how fans loveddd the episodic narratives in s1 and 2, so they tried bringing back one-off lighthearted episodes (dnd episode, game show episode, clear day episode, etc.) in an attempt to relive the old glory— and they were fun to watch on their own, sure, but were completely detached from the rest of the story atp. literally the only reason why i even remember these episodes is because they weren't a part of the narrative's incomprehensible sludge

don't even get me started on how the crew hated its audience. don't get me started on the ship bait, the weird canon queerbait situation(s), the irresponsible encouragement of parasocial fan relationships with VAs, artists, creators, you name it. it's how we got one of The worst fandoms in recent history. it's how vld was one of the newer fandoms that started an whole new era of fandom etiquette — namely, disregarding all previous fandom norms in favor of the most childish, pearl-clutching, moral-panicky discourse you'd find daily, and consequently you wouldn't EVER dare bring up to a normal person who exists in the real world.

the crew hated its audience so much, it essentially punished its fans by shutting down all fan theories, purposefully writing AROUND plot twists THEY SET UP, leaving a really messy and plot-hole-filled final script. they especially hated the shippers so much that they shut down BOTH main camps — klance and sheith — for canon allurance, a truly horrible way to end both their character arcs since neither character gets all that satisfying of a conclusion (lance becomes a farmer, allura fucking dies)

this is already long enough but i hope this gives you a general idea :') i have so many emotions about vld. someday i'll make the retrospective video essay of my dreams. this was my nonstop fixation for two straight years. i wasted two years on this shit.

also this show's 8 seasons were released all in a span of 2 and a half years.

[lemonhemlock]

omg thank you for saying the oppenheimer bit. it’s literally a marvel movie repackaged, which is very noticeable in some one-liners. wasn’t a fan of barbie at all, but there’s been a lot of dishonesty surrounding this whole situation as per usual

at this point i'm honestly thinking that people are just pretending to have liked and understood this movie because it was on a "serious" topic and they don't want to lose face and have convinced themselves only unintelligent people don't "get it".

it is jumbled, it is 3 movies crammed into 1 (which makes it way too long), it is incoherent in its message because of that. there are no interesting or unique filmmaking techniques nolan is using? and, before anyone mentions it, the explosion was just supremely mid. it was slightly interesting to see how everyone was protecting themselves while viewing it, but it ultimately felt flat because, as always, nolan is not good when it comes to creating an emotional core.

the movie prioritizes white male voices once again, the perspective of the actual victims of the bombings and the native americans whose land was used to design a weapon of mass destruction is sorely lacking, the female characters are laughable stereotypes! emily blunt is one of my favourite actresses, the role of kitty oppenheimer is absolute shit. what is she doing in the supporting actress bracket? ditto for florence pugh (ik she didn't get nominated but her role was equally infuriating)

and, sure, you could say that's not the film nolan set out to make, he wanted to tell the story of oppenheimer and just him. but... why? in this economy? in 2023? and we're fawning over that? he didn't even posit a thought-provoking thesis about the man! cillian murphy is one of my favourite actors but i felt completely underwhelmed watching him work with that script, which was ultimately unconducive to anything

not saying barbie is the be-all-and-end-all-of-cinema, but there's a very distinct whiff of debbie downers that just want to party poop whenever they see people having fun and enjoying something just for the sake of it. and, for a movie that's supposed be 101 feminism that everyone claims to know already, the fact that they chose to nominate the MALE lead and not the female lead or director................. sure, there is the argument to be made that best actress may have been stacked and there simply wasn't room for margot there (shoutout to lily gladstone for her historic nomination), but i'd be lying if i weren't pointing out the annoying tendency of audiences to overwhelmingly sympathize with the kens' plight in this movie. a ton of haters came out of the theatre thinking that greta gerwig is telling them feminism means that men are inferior and should be subjugated, while boohoohooing the poor kens. understanding the male perspective comes automatically, but when it comes to understanding the satire and parody elements, it's crickets! and, idk, acting like that's not the case for large swaths of the population is just disingenuous.

this chorus of "we know this already".... who's we? is the "we" you speak of in the room with us right now? there are so, so many viewers out there for whom just sidelining the male POV is groundbreaking, who go nuts at the slight "woke-ification" of media. and, again, i'm not saying we should be content with the bare minimum in cinema either, but i have to side-eye when this argument comes from the mouths of people who think the oppenheimer nominations are deserved

.............and now it's time for me to shamelessly plug my reviews for oppenheimer and barbie here so that i won't end up repeating myself like a broken record :))

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok its been literally 15 minutes since the finale ended and im getting off the TOH tag.

I am SO DISAPPOINTED in a certain side of this fandom.

it took less than FIFTEEN MINUTES to see enough "lollllll lumity went canon and huntlow didn't, get WRECKED YOU STINKY STRAIGHTS LOL BURY UR GAYS UNO REVERSE LMAOOOOO HOW DOES IT FEEL NASTY ICKY BAD STRAIGHT SHIPPERS" posts to make me actually consider whether I'd rather the show have had a sad ending.

not bc of huntlow, i ship it but never put any hope or weight on it going canon. I'm not "anti-lumity" or whateverthefuck, I don't really think about ships that much in 99.9% of fandoms.

...yall are just extremely fucking

IMMATURE.

I'm queer. I understand how much pain we've dealt with even SOLELY in terms of media rep. I even understand the glee at the concept of "straightbaiting" actually being a thing that happened here.

I also understand the EXTREMELY JUSTIFIED concern and anger around some parts of the fandom seeming to abandon the BIPOC WLW main character/main ship in favor of the Sad Greasy White Boy Of The Week And His White Straight Girlfriend.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why so many "fans" are taking this EXTREMELY POSITIVE, LITERALLY GROUNDBREAKING and immediately turning it against their fellow fans. All this amazing rep, characterization, EVERYTHING and you still find a way to be cruel to your fellow fans.

this isn't a contest.

Lumity is canon.

Huntlow is not.

Huntlow was not a focus of the finale.

I can guarantee you that after that finale, NOBODY was thinking about Huntlow until yall started being fucking mean about it.

YOU brought up the thing you claimed to want the fandom to stop focusing on, for the SINGULAR PURPOSE of enacting some sort of "revenge" on shippers that you projected a whoooole lot of Racism, Homophobia, and Evil onto, despite:

Bi Hunter, Transmasc Hunter, Transfemme Willow, and T4T Huntlow all being EXTREMELY popular hcs/themes in and out of shipping context

A fair chunk of the fandom seeing Willow as BIPOC/East Asian -coded

ALL of the masc presenting queers w parental and/or religious trauma who have spoken out about how seen they feel bc of Hunter

I'm not saying Hunter was a perfect character. He definitely wasn't the main character, or even close.

I'm saying that yall have demonized this part of the fandom SO MUCH that after THAT FINALE.

*THAT. FINALE.*

your FIRST INSTINCT was to ATTACK THEM

over the SHIP (I REPEAT MYSELF) THAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED PPL TO STOP TALKING ABOUT.

I was having a really fun, good, genuine amazing time freaking my shit over Titan!Luz, and Lumity, and Raeda, and King and The Collector and TITAN LUZ!!!!!

yknow. all the stuff the finale was actually about.

and now I'm thinking mainly of huntlow (or at least the discourse around it), angry, and extremely sad that my experience of this finale has been ruined

and that this fandom is the latest to fall into the trap of "blame other fans for actual systemic oppression, regardless of whether or not they are actually upholding it."

I don't know how to get it through your heads that a heavily T4T-headcanoned, likely biracial-coded ship that is CANONICALLY a healing narrative for trauma survivors

is not fucking reylo.

this Evil In Fandom you're angry at 1000% exists but it sure as fuck isn't here.

unless there's a Secret Second Huntlow Fandom That Is Evil And Racist And Hates Lumity that idk abt, this is just a group of sad queer kids sitting next to your own group of sad queer kids

and despite me seeing ZERO ACTUAL HUNTLOW COMMENTS ABOUT THE FINALE * AT ALL *

you, whatever side of the fandom is doing this (I honestly don't know who is making these posts) aren't proving, winning, fixing or righting anything

you're going over to another side of the fandom whose ship didnt go canon

and with ZERO PROVOKATION

you're making them feel like shit for it.

why???

WHY??????

yall "won". you won as much as you can possibly win here. everybody loves the finale. nobody is giving anything but overwhelming love, happy tears, joy and awe to "your" win.

but you still felt the need to make sure someone, somewhere, knew that they "lost".

sry im just so angry at this rn. i was having so much fun. what the fuck is this kind of behavior supposed to prove?

also btw to be clear this is NOT DIRECTED AT ALL OR MOST LUMITY SHIPPERS, LUZ STANS, ETC. ITS NOT EVEN DIRECTED AT "HUNTLOW-ANTIS" EXCEPT THE *SPECIFIC PEOPLE* WHO CHOSE TO USE THE FINALE TO BASH ON OTHERS.

AS FOR THOSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE:

YOU SUCK!!!!!! Thanks for ruining this fantastic experience for me by being a piece of shit on main over some "shipper" crap im not even in.

[frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers]

Wish review 🌟 | Analysis

I just saw Wish today. I loved it. It was funny, it was lovable, it was cute, the songs were great too. It's not a big movie as the story isn't so groundbreaking and super dramatic. But not everything has to be. You can't compare this movie to Frozen, Encanto or any other Disney movie because it's its own movie. Definitely a classic I will say. If you're looking for something chill, not or big of a story, something simple and light-hearted, touching at times then this is your movie. I guess everyone's used to big changing stories which is why it's not so attracted to audiences. The story was a shirt so it did feel like things were happening a little fast but that doesn't overshadow it too much. And like I said it's not anything like Frozen as some initially thought it'd be. And I'm not just being biased, but Frozen is on another level especially with where the franchise is headed. But that's not to say Wish isn't fun and worth watching. It's just a more simple, cute, fun story. Fun trying to catch the Easter eggs too.

Now for the characters. Spoilers below!

Let's start with Asha. She's a great protagonist who is only doing what her family and Rosa deserve. So selfless. She wants to grant her grandfathers who turns 100 and her mother's Wish, and in order to do it she signs up as Magnifico's apprentice. But when she cuts to the question after "At all costs". Magnifico doesn't grant the wishes until a month to a year later so because she asked as soon as she gave hers it got to him and he snaps which gets Asha to learn he'll never give the wishes back. She goes through a lot in this movie but doesn't give up. If we're going by personality she's a bit like Anna and Rapunzel in the sense that she's a little goofy and quirky but she's got less than those characters do.

Magnifico, a very interesting and loved villain. Honestly I don't remember his backstory because he only tells Asha and it's very vague. But due to events of his past he wants to avoid, he keeps the wishes to himself to keep Rosa safe. But I guess as he became powerful, greed and power hunger came to him. He loves his wife a lot and listens to her mostly but it's not until he gains more magic from the book that gives him his powers in the first place that he turns evil and more power hungry. He even threatens his wife, Queen Amaya. His song "This is the thanks I get?!" is quite catchy and one of the best songs in the movie. To his defeat the power of people's wishes and Star brings them the strength to defeat Magnifico having him out in a mirror. There was no other way to cure him so because he would only get more evil putting in the mirror was his only option.

Amaya, the real Queen of hearts. Amaya has to be my favourite character. She felt like a mother to Asha, her friends, star and the animals. She didn't side with her husband until she saw how evil he had really become. She's quite pretty and very much reminds me of Elsa which I'll get to in another post.

Asha's friends. I like them being a nod to the seven dwarfs. That was nice. They were lovely and supportive in their own right way. But then there's Simon. Who tells Magnifico about Asha stealing wishes because well... I don't honestly remember but it wasn't a logical reason in my opinion. Magnifico grants him his wish in return only to make him evil too. Then at the end he apologises and all is forgiven. But then you wonder what the point of his betrayal was. I mean in the beginning all of the friends call him boring which is quite sad. Like who says that to their friend? This isn't his reason for the evil turn either so..

Star and Valentino. I loved Star and Valentino . They're chaotic duo. Star is very cute and Valentino is well interesting..

Conclusion:

Now though this movie has its few flaws like all movies do and though it's not a big blockbuster that doesn't mean it deserves the hate it gets. A Disney movie can be chill and simple. But I understand that it's a film that marks 100 years of Disney and it didn't lead to their expectations but it's still got that Disney element to it. And so I loved it. A Disney classic for sure ✨

[takemetoutah]

2, 3, 13 for the bookish asks 😎

hello, anon 😌

2. did you reread anything?

yes! I've had a weird complex before about rereading books I liked—what if I don't like them as much on reread? what if it's boring because I remember everything? isn't this just wasting time, since there are so many other books I could be reading for the first time instead?—but in 2024, I simply got over it lol. I reread gideon the ninth and started rereading harrow the ninth (both by tamsyn muir) in preparation for reading nona the ninth with my friends, and I had a great time. I took notes partially for fun, partially for thinking more deeply about the ~themes~, and partially because, as it turns out, I do not remember everything. in 2025 we are not shying away from rereads.

3. what were your top five books of the year?

despite bringing a few library books with me for the holidays at home, and because I'm still rereading harrow, I probably won't read anything new between now and the new year, so I'm pretty confident with this list (not ordered):

down with the system by serj tankian, narrated by the author: by far the best memoir I've ever read. serj challenges my assumption that just because you are a skilled songwriter doesn’t mean you’ll be a skilled prose writer. very well written and engaging, even when discussing fraught topics like the armenian gen-0-side. and he chronicles his music career in a fresh, interesting way that doesn’t always prioritize his own ego. 5/5.

the wall by marlen haushofer: a little monotonous at times but otherwise a brilliant feminist work. 4.25/5.

enter ghost by isabella hammad: a brilliantly crafted character story concerned with apartheid, violence, grief, and the enduring power of shakespeare in our modern era. 4.5/5.

love, theoretically by ali hazelwood: my first of hers but certainly not my last. rich characterization, engaging plot, and although lies are, I guess, a form of miscommunication, the conflict between elsie and jack was fair/logical, wasn't stupid, and didn't make me want to rip my hair out. it really did just feel like witnessing two adults try to get better at asking for what they need and owning their mistakes. and we love that!!! 5/5.

the essential june jordan: essential, duh. groundbreaking and powerful. 5/5. recommend me more poetry like this?

13. what were your least favorite books of the year?

despite not reading as much as I have in previous years, a majority of the books I did read were pretty good. my least favorites of the year are ranked higher, relative to books I've hated in the past:

the book of form and emptiness by ruth ozeki. man, was I hyped about this one. I loved ozeki's a tale for the time being and had high hopes here, but the writing, cheesiness, and dialogue bugged me a lot. gave it a 2.75/5.

a novel love story by ashley poston. another one where I loved the author's previous work but was extremely let down. the repetitive writing, the underdeveloped mc, the rushed ending, and the amount of page space dedicated to the backstory and side characters made this a real drag. another 2.75/5.

yellowface by r.f. kuang. this was marketed as a literary thriller, but it didn't feel very literary to me, and the pacing felt off in multiple places. I also agree with other reviewers—this book didn't speak, imo, to the realities of publishing a book as much as it did to the realities of being on Book Twitter. a huge miss, and another 2.75/5.

we had to remove this post by hanna bervoets. reading this in 2024 I wasn't as shocked as I expected to be. social media has gotten soooo much worse, especially given the gen-0-side we've been witnessing for over a year. every book I've read that is either about or heavily features social media feels like it's already aged (see: no one is talking about this). and maybe I shouldn't fault this book for that, but it certainly doesn't feel like a book that'll stand the test of time. one more 2.75/5 for the road.

and finally, the lowest-ranked read of the year: a people's future of the united states, edited by victor lavalle and john joseph adams. I enjoyed quite a few stories, which were all placed toward the end of the collection, but a majority of them I found to have good ideas but lacking execution. 2.5/5.

thanks for asking and happy holidays <3

[firstumcschenectady]

“God's Subversive Tactics” based on Matthew 5:38-42 (please read!)

The groundbreaking scholarship on this Matthew passage isn't new, it was published in 1992 by Walter Wink in his book “Engaging the Powers: Discernment and Resistance in a World of Domination.” I remember hearing it in High School, I've preached it before – here – and some of you have ridiculously good memories. But also, not all of you have heard me preach it before, and it is SUCH GOOD STUFF and so central to how we understand the entire Jesus movement. So, anyway, if you already know this stuff, prepare for an excellent review. And if you don't, hold on to your pew – this is going to be fun.

Those of us who have heard this passage without Wink's scholarship have probably heard it as an invitation to be doormats, right? “Don't resist. Let someone hit you repeatedly. Be passive. Be... weak.” And, heavens that's concerning, that anyone would teach such things in a church. What a way to empower domestic violence, maintain the status quo, and teach those in positions of less power (women, racial and ethnic minorities, children) that the Godly way is to accept the harm that comes their way.

However, if you accept a perspective that the choices are violence or nonviolence, I can see how you might conclude that following Jesus is NOT a violent way, so you have to pick passivity. BUT, this passage doesn't mean that AT ALL, this passage is about a third way. This is about how to engage in nonviolent resistance to undermine the powers that oppress. This is Jesus speaking to people who lived lives of oppression. This is the way called nonviolent ENGAGEMENT.

It seems especially fitting on this day when we are also thinking about Juneteenth because when we celebrate the freeing of those who had been enslaved, it also makes sense to talk about the ways that people who were enslaved resisted. We sometimes read in history about slave rebellions, but there were lots of ways that people engaged in regular, consistent resistance of the oppressive power of slave holders too. They pretended to be ill. They worked slowly, and badly. They “lost” or “accidentally damaged” equipment. They took what they needed, or just what they wanted. Papers were displaced. Things caught on fire. I suspect a lot of individuals were geniuses at such work, engaging in subversive actions that created immense disruptions without ever seeming to be fault.

Slave holders tried to break the spirits of those they enslaved, but the core human dignity, the reality of imago dei (that we are all made in the image of God – ALL OF US), seems to be quite resilient. And I think that's the core of what Jesus was talking about too.

Let's unpack each of Jesus's suggestions. “Turn the other cheek.” First thing to know – you didn't use your left hand for anything in ancient society because toilet paper wasn't a thing yet and left hands were used for “unclean tasks.” This was a hard and fast rule, even gesturing with the left hand was illegal and carried a strict punishment. So, we are talking only about right hand hits. Which means that a person who is hit on the right cheek has been backhanded, which was ALWAYS AND ONLY diminutive. It was a common and normal way of putting people in their place. “A backhanded slap was the usual way of admonishing inferiors. Masters backhanded slaves, husbands, wives; parents, children; men , women; Romans, Jews.”1 Most people would cower.

One did NOT backhand a peer, it was actually illegal.

But if people can only hit with their right hands, and one has already been backhanded on the RIGHT cheek, then to turn the other cheek – to invite another hit – is NOT to passively accept violence. It is to invite the person who is trying to humiliate you to either back down, or treat you like an equal. “This action robs the oppressor of the power to humiliate. The person who turns the other cheek is saying, in effect, 'Try again, Your first blow has failed to achieve its intended affect. I deny you the power to humiliate me. I am a human being just like you. Your status does not alter that fact. You cannot demean me.'”2

Which, then, puts the one who hit into a conundrum. Which is EXACTLY Jesus's point. (Can you now see how this advice fits the one who also told parables?) “In that world of honor and shame, he has been rendered impotent to instill shame in a subordinate. He has been stripped of his power to dehumanize the other.”3

The second image is to give cloak along with coat, right? We are going to call them the outer-garment and the inner-garment so we can track it. Note that impoverished people only had those two garments, their were not backups. And, Hebrew Scriptures provide for someone to be sued for their outer-garment:

If you lend money to my people, to the poor among you, you shall not deal with them as a creditor; you shall not exact interest from them. If you take your neighbor’s cloak in pawn, you shall restore it before the sun goes down; for it may be your neighbor’s only clothing to use as cover; in what else shall that person sleep? And if your neighbor cries out to me, I will listen, for I am compassionate. - Exodus 22:25-27

Note that even in this passage it is clear that only a poor person would be in this situation, and it is so tenuous that you can't even take the outer-garment consistently, you have to take it for only the day so they can sleep with it at night. It seems, even in this passage, that the creditor is being pretty severely demonized for deciding to demand retribution on the poor, right? (Matthew's language is wrong in implying it is the inner-garment, just ignore that – Luke gets it right, it is the outer-garment.)

Back to Wink, “Indebtedness was endemic in first-century Palestine. Jesus' parables are full of debtors struggling to salvage their lives. Heavy debt was not, however, a natural calamity that had overtaken the incompetent. It was the direct consequence of Roman imperial policy.... By the time of Jesus we see this process already far advanced: large estates owned by absentee landlords, managed by stewards, and worked by tenant farers, day laborers, and slaves. It is no accident that the first act of the Jewish revolutionaries in 66 C.E. Was to burn the Temple treasury, where the records of debts was kept.”4 And Jesus is talking to people at the bottom of this system. “Why then does Jesus counsel them to give over their undergarments as well? This would mean stripping off all their clothing and marching out of court stark naked! Imagine the guffaws that must have evoked. There stands a creditor, covered with shame, the poor debtor's outer garment in one hand, his undergarment in the other. The tables have already been turned on the creditor. The debtor had no hope of winning the case; the law was already entirely in the creditor's favor. But the poor man has transcended this attempt to humiliate him. He has risen above the shame.” You may remember that there was a taboo against nakedness in ancient Judaism, but it turns out the larger taboo was against SEEING someone's nakedness, not being naked.

“Jesus provides here a hint of how to take on the entire system by unmasking its essential cruelty and burlesquing its pretensions to justice. Here is a poor man who will not longer be treated as a sponge to be squeezed dry by the rich. He accepts the laws as they stand, pushes them to absurdity, and reveals them for what they have become. He strips naked, walks out before his fellows, and leaves the creditor, and the whole economic edifice that he represents, stark naked.”5

The third one – the “second mile”. Roman soldiers had the right to require civilians to carry their heavy packs for a mile – a form of forced labor. People hated it. However, if they asked someone to carry it for MORE than a mile, they were subject to discipline, and the discipline could vary immensely, including really severe punishment. So the soldiers regularly demanded their packs be carried a mile, but ONLY a mile. As he has in the two prior examples, Jesus recommends to the disempowered that they reclaim their human dignity even in the midst of oppression.

Wink says, “Imagine the soldier's surprise when, at the next mile maker, he reluctantly reaches to assume his pack, and the civilian says, 'Oh no, let me carry it another mile.' Why would he want to do that? What is he up to? Normally , soldiers have to coerce people to carry their packs, but this Jew does it so cheerfully, and will not stop! Is this provocation? Is he insulting the legionnaire's strength? Being kind? Trying to get him disciplined for seeming to violate the rules of impressment? Will this civilian file a complaint? Create trouble?”6 By messing with the soldiers head, the pack-carrier has taken back their human dignity and reclaimed their own power to choose! Regarding the soldier “If he has enjoyed feeling superior to the vanquished, he will not enjoy it today. Imagine the situation of a Roman infantryman pleading with the Jew to give back his pack!”7

He continues, “Jesus does not encourage Jews to walk a second mile in order to build up merit in heaven, or to exercise a supererogatory piety, or to kill the soldier with kindness. He is helping an oppressed people find a way to protest and neutralize an onerous practice despised throughout the empire.” Now, one final note on these suggestions, all of them. “Such tactics can seldom be repeated. One can imagine that within days after the incidents that Jesus sought to provoke, the Powers That Be would pass new laws: penalties for nakedness in court, flogging for carrying a pack more than a mile! One must be creative, improvising new tactics to keep the opponent of balance. To those whose lifelong pattern has been to cringe before their masters, Jesus offers a way to liberate themselves from servile actions and a servile mentality. And he asserts that they can do this before there is a revolution.8”

That is, Jesus so deeply believed that everyone was created in the image of God and deserved to have utterly wonderful lives, that he took the time to assess the situations and come up with some really subversive answers to the problems people faced, solutions that restored their dignity. There is, you may have noticed, one more piece of advice, and it is one that is a challenge to many of us. “Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.” Wink says, “Such radical egalitarian sharing would be necessary to rescue impoverished Palestinian peasants from their plight; one need not posit an imminent end of history as the cause for such astonishing generosity. And yet none of this is new; Jesus is merely issuing a prophetic summons to Israel to observe the commandments pertaining to the sabbatical year enshrined in Torah, adapted to a new situation.” That is, for those who were poor to break out of the realities of staggering interest and taxes, they need to work together and not apart. They needed to overcome the stragety of divide and conquer with radical sharing.

In each of these recommendations in this tiny little piece of the gospel, Jesus recommends third ways. Neither passively accepting the oppression that dehumanizes the people nor fighting violence with violence. He recommends, wit, humor, solidarity, and making visible the problems that the system created. We don't face exactly the same issues, but the SPIRIT of these commandments are a gift to us as a playbook for how to deal with oppression. Violence begets violence. Passivity in the face of violence changes nothing. But there are third ways, and I will say that I think God is really in favor of third ways and I've noticed that when I am stuck between two unacceptable options, and sit with them (and with God), God often nudges me toward a third way – a far more creative one that I could find on my own.

God calls the world from violence and oppression to peace and the radically embraced humanity of all. And the way from here to there, it turns out, involves creativity, wit, and humor. Let's go! Amen

1 Walter Wink, Engaging the Powers; Discernment and Resistance in a World of Domination (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992) p. 176.

2 176.

3 176-7.

4 178.

5 179.

6 182.

7 182.

8 182-3.

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

June 30, 2024

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread Part 4

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/747704931576889344/2024-watch-thread-part-3?source=share

Ultraman Rising: On my second watch I kept a closer eye on it. The detail and moments of non-diegesis pass by in a blink, but your brain picks up on the emotions it wants you to experience. This movie has a certain painterly feel and strong emotional core the way Pixar used to. It uses whatever elements from Ultraman feel relevant to the story being told and the end result is totally delightful. I'm glad Ultraman got a spider-verse. 9/10

Overman King Gainer: Charming as hell, but I can't help but feel it never reached its full potential. I appreciate that it never really exposits, but I can't help but feel like a few clearer explanations or stakes might have made me more invested. There are a few episodes of true Tomino-isms (both of his more silly and serious style). The start and end are charming, but I can't help but wish it picked up the pace a little. Great character design, some fun dialogue and cute animation. 7/10

Game Changer Season 6: I think I've neglected to add Dropout series to this list prior to this...oops. Some real all timers this season. Personal favorites are Bingo and Pencils Down. The Ratfish didn't blow me away, but I still appreciate parodying more contemporary game show formats. 8/10

Power Dolls: I have no context for this series other than attempting the first level of the original game. I was surprised to see that the first episode attempts to adapt that level. The issue is that there doesn't seem to be much to work with here. The thin melodrama makes these gorgeous women seem skin-deep. Nothing groundbreaking here as far as OVAs go. 5/10

Doctor Who Series 14: Not all the episodes were created equally in my eyes, but overall these were a lot of fun. And that's what I'm glad the series has again: Fun. The lust for life is infectious. I'd be fine with more contained (and budgeted) adventures in subsequent seasons (with longer episode counts). All the culture warriors out there campaigning about it got what they deserve. I'm hardly suprised the guy who used to prance around with celery printed to a rainbow jacket is getting fruity. But it is a modern Disney move to take credit of an on-screen gay kiss 20 years late. I do think these Chaos gods felt a little...manageable in terms of how quickly they were dispatched through. 7/10

Shark Side of the Moon: It starts out strong with a sequence in the soviet union right out of a fallout game, but utterly dissolves into what you should expect form an Asylum movie. Baffling that the CGI shark monsters got so ugly. I wonder if it was made by someone else? Who was that woman with a terrible face-lift who just ollied out of the movie? -4/10

Halo Nightfall: The only thing more laughable than the CGI Elite walking around like bigfoot is that 343i thought this was enough to set up Locke as a Master Chief killer. -3/10

Outlander (2008): Society just wasn't ready for this movie. I looked at contemporary reviews in horror. Maybe it gave a bad impression in the first few minutes, but this movie gets better the longer it goes on. The production values and talent on display elevate such a shlocky premise. My watch group was hooting and hollering. 8.5/10

Gunparade March: Sauceless. I dropped it after the 3 episode rule and scrubbed a few episodes after that. As someone who doesn't throw in for slice of life, this had nothing for me. 2/10

Overlord: For what is ultimately a bunch of guys running around a house in tactical gear...pretty fun. 5/10

Kamen Rider Gotchard: Now that the first images of the next rider are out, I think I can safely say that I dropped this. There was a bit of a spark at the beginning, but you could really feel the show get jerked around by bad toy sales and several course corrections. It never felt like it had a direction or anything more compelling than a few sweet two-parters that never returned. Ultimately this show is a result of the identity crisis of trying to sell blind bags for trading cards with no card game and bending over backwards to not normalize that this market has mostly become gambling. 5/10

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D S1: Coming back to this in the new era of bad Disney+ Marvel shows is like drinking cool water after a long day in the sun. If you can ignore the Wheden-ass dialogue, the pacing and scripting of the show's arcs is iron-clad. Major joints for letting continuity with the MCU annihilate the premise of the show and taking it in stride. 7.5/10

Megaman X Dive Offline:

Weaknesses of a gatcha game: Irritating characters and no real story, 3D graphics meant for older smartphones, overreliance on timers, loads of hard to navigate menus, progression systems that don't make sense unless you've played since the start.

Surely, the cool characters and tight gameplay of Megaman X will transfer over to ... oh, they seem to have almost no gameplay. It's an Isekai?

Just look up a YouTube video of all the units. You'll have a better time than I did. Instant Steam return. 0/10

Destiny 2 The Final Shape: While the story isn't good, the way it is conveyed is. Lots of watching people talk about emotion beats the player is already aware of isn't exactly compelling. Neither is a campaign which the player isn't advancing with standard destiny gameplay. I can think of 5 strikes with better narrative momentum off the top of my head. The environment is cool, and I like the witness's presence, though they didn't do much antagonizing for an antagonist. Any sense of momentum was killed by the Cayde and Crow Screeb adventure which is required before the final battle. Was the final battle amazing? Yes. Did it make me realize this might be the first good campaign ending in like 5 years? Yes. I don't think it really gave me the catharsis I was hoping for after 10 years of addiction. 5/10

The Screaming Skull: I wonder if anyone was actually scared by this in 1959. The only screaming we did was pretending to be scared and then breaking into hysterical laughter for the first half. Then we just got bored. -4/10

Versus: Cool dudes doing gunkata in an abandoned warehouse? Rad. Cool dudes doing gunkata in a forest...Eh. 5/10

Return to Treasure Island 1988: Points for good cartooning. Docked points for not having much of a throughline to hang them on. It gets old real quick. -4/10

Agents of Sheild S2: I wasn't a fan of the tone shift this season. The overreliance on suspicion, infighting and vaguing about loyalty got really old in the second half, especially as the successive overreactions strained credulity. It hit a point where I stopped liking most of the cast. Usually this is a death knell for me, but it stuck the landing. As usual Kyle Maclachlan steals the show. 6/10

Space Jam 2: A few Looney Tunes laughs can't balance out the thick malaise of committee brand synergy. I can't tell if the anti-executive/AI/crossover story is trying to say something considering how hard the movie bends over backwards to POINT AT BRAND. The acting was also noticeably bad. Like late 2010s Disney channel bad. -6/10

The Super Master AKA Zombie Rivals: While ostensibly a recut of Zombie Vs Ninja, it makes up for the loss of hilariously baffling inter-asian racism with cutting in random white people. It feels closer to anything Kung-Pow was deriving from, while also a Rick and Morty interdimensional cable gag. I think we died every time the announcer says ZODIAC AMERICA THE SUPER MASTER. -7.5/10

Fullmetal Alchemist 2017: On a second watching, the wigs are worse and the decisionmaking is even more confusing. 4/10

The Green Goblin's Last Stand: They...kinda ate with this one. I'm kinda at a loss if I should rate this based off of the moments it is surprisingly effective or the general silly factor... +6 or -7/10

Star Trek Prodigy S2-1: I'm breaking these up because I can tell this was intended to not come out all at once - First half was kinda bad. I like the strong mystery and time travel problem they have to solve, and I think they succeed better than the seasons of STD or SNW, but the fact that these children are never not morons brings it down. In S1 it was dramatic irony when the abused runaways didn't trust Star Fleet and led to miscommunication. Now it's just annoying. It also broke my TV. 4/10

Star Trek Prodigy S2-1: I felt whimsey when Chakotay taught the kids how levers worked and started sailing the protostar with stick and rudder. It felt earnest and explorative. The stakes and battles felt weighty and the technobabble was consistent. WESLEY IS BACK AND IT RULES??? However, I can't help but feel lousy when the series ends with 1000 Pearl Harbors and a hard end to Star Fleet's golden age. I went to sleep pissed off that Picard managed to somehow curb-stomp a series of years after it ended. Are we going to have to see Boimler mope after Star Fleet makes space adventures against policy? 7/10 -> 4/10 if you factor in the ending. It has never been more Joever.

Skyrim mod - Nebarra: As fun as the concept is, the quests were utterly broken for me. I had to force a lot to happen with console and it really took me out of it. 6/10

Agents of Shield S3: It's funny how Disney kept patting itself on the back so loudly over an unnamed side character implying a dead gay partner in Endgame when ABC had an openly gay latino recurring character who had some really fun moments back in like 2016. The final lap was good, but the serialization is stretching thin, but not as badly as last season.

Agents of Shield S4:

Arc 1: Ghost rider is so fucking cool. I would've been all for a version of this show where disparate characters from the marvel comics just show up like this. Amazing how well the CG holds up. Easily better than the modern movies

Arc 2: I now remember why my family dropped the show at this point. It goes on for way too long, and it feels like it takes place in only two locations

Arc 3: Fun in concept, but I can't help but feel this is a really backwards way to do a maybe 3 episode mirror universe arc.

Overall I'm glad I watched it, but I can feel the final shift to full serialization 6/10

Agents of Shield S5: This is just a different show, and I am realized I was completely checked out a few episodes in. 3/10

Iron Sky: I was expecting to laugh a lot more, this type of zany nonsense is usually way up my alley. I think it could've pushed a little harder and tightened up the digression once the movie gets back to earth. The biggest laugh of the evening was the gag with the bottle of de-albinizer. -7/10

Groom Lake: I was sold on William Shatner Tokusatsu. The movie works well as a comedy of errors as the protagonists have just the most ridiculously bad vacation. I thought for a moment it might have been cooking with the rattlesnake at the beginning perhaps setting up a parallel with extra terrestrial life, but I'm not sure I trust the movie to take thematic swings like that. If anything, it felt like watching someone play a Bathesda style RPG or a Quantic Dream game with some weird characters and strange moral choices. -6/10

Ghostbusters: On rewatch, I see why this movie ends up appealing to a lot of right wingers in their 40s-50s...the small business angle, hating the EPA. My beloved groaned so loudly at the kiss at the end. Despite everything, it is still a classic. 7/10

[icharchivist]

i do think the max0r videos are funny but i completely understand thats not for everyone. humor is subjective and i havent played any of the games he makes videos about and i get that if you like something and want to share the love then a guy low-key or high-key making fun of the game isnt what youre up for

its just dumb because those things all have the same game tag so yt assumes thats what you want

algorithms are a plague upon mankind

suddenly lucilius is making a lot of sense

i genuinely don't know the guy so i'm not judging him on his content and all honestly

but ff15 is overhated ever since its releases and you cannot say anything positive about this game without hate coming your way because people need to complain

the screenshot was just because it happened to be this one video coming my way, but it's not the only video that does that. Every single time i rewatch a sad scene from ff15 i get hundred of videos rec about "here's why ff15 was a massive disappointment" "here's why ff15 sucks" "here's why ff15 was so bad"

so i have genuinely no reason to give any second of the day to another creator popping up on my recommendation telling me ff15 is bad, even if it's to make an humorous point. Like wow........ you think ff15 is bad..... so groundbreaking...... you're truly a free thinker...... no one ever had this opinion in their lives before....... as if there hasn't been constant content about how bad ff15 is those past 8 years.... as if ff16 didn't do its whole communication on "we're not going to be bad like ff15 🥰".... truly your opinion on it is very unique and i'm sure will bring a totally new light on the game....... you convinced me 8 years later.....

it wouldn't piss me off nearly as much if it wasn't for the fact that hearing all those negative takes on the game genuinely had me stall if for years because it turned me off from it, only to give it a shot after i dreamed about it out of nowhere (this happens a lot with me, fictions show up in dreams begging me to pay attention to them and who i am to deny it), and despite coming in expecting all the flaws i've heard about, i had such an emotional journey with this game that really little game can properly compare to that it genuinely pissed me off even more that i even gave a second of credit to the mass mob blowing up the flaws of the game to the point of ignoring the way it still is a beautiful game, even if it's a flawed one.

so you can imagine on my hand, just looking out for some scenes that really impacted me on youtube, to just have Youtube telling me "huh... but don't you know the game is bad? here, let me show you. the game is bad. why are you crying. We said it's bad. Here's a funny video about why it's bad. because it's really ridiculous you're crying really. don't you know the mass is always right." like god.

but i'm all with you on the fact algorithm are a fucking plague and it's really just very annoying when you're into something that's like vaguely controversial because you can't just be enjoying it in your corner. Algorithm will be so desperate to feed you more stuff to keep you hooked on the platform it'll just throw you things that drive engagement. And negativity engages people more than positivity.

Anyway i've always been team "Lucilius is right" (my only issues with Lucilius is how he treats his primals, aside from that i'm totally 100% supportive of his motivation that both god and the world suck)

but istg i have this long beef with Youtube on that regard (you'll notice the post i reblogged to add the screenshot is from 2021, in which i was complaining about something i was already experimenting for years). This is not a small term irritation. It's been my nemesis for too long. this is a burning hate that will never waver. they made me this way.

[doctor-badadvice]

Maybe it's late to talk about Scream Fortress but whatever. I'm going to talk about the new maps.

I love Scream Fortress. It's a great time with good (free) cosmetics and what made me get into tf2 in the first place. My first hour in game was spent as a very confused Heavy on Brimstone. I had fun then and I come back for the event every year.

This year, unfortunately, the game decided to test my patience.

There's a different between wanting new content and digging through garbage with the raccoons for just about anything. Every time for the past two or three years whenever they added something new, it was either boring or broken. We had absolute pearls like Laughter and Crasher, two maps that are both beautiful and fun to play. Then we had Soulmill, Bonesaw, Precipice, fucking Sinshine and Graveyard and of course, a whole bunch of uninteresting cosmetics and taunts that just happened to have many votes on the workshop.

And I know that if I wasn't a nobody on the internet, I'd already have an angry mob at my door because I dared saying community made stuff is not the very good. How dare I have an opinion on something that's in the game I've played for way too many hours.

So this year we had a crate that didn't even reach 50 cents on the market for the first evening (something that even Christmas crates manage, mind you) and not one, not four, but a whole twelve new maps to try.

For the sake of my memory and because I want to discuss the zombie mode later, I'll just go in order of whatever I remember.

Spineyard

Let's start off with yet another damn reskin. This time it's Vineyard, a map that I played once then removed from my queue because it's yet another payload map that suffers from the Overwatch condition. Wide empty areas, lots of unused hallways where you're meant to flank but you won't find anyone there because it's an open area, everyone's playing Soldier or Demo and spamming anyway. But there's more! Every once in a while you'll hear a bell and then the undead mafia shows up.

The undead mafia. On a map based on Italy. How fucking original the makers are. Congrats on being fucking boring. I hope you step on a Lego.

Also they're basically SMG Sniper bots from MvM with a bit of skeleton AI, nothing groundbreaking.

Lava Pit

This map made me wonder whether there's people out there who sit around debating which stupid maps should get a reskin next. Sawmill won the last vote, now it's the turn of the map that's only ever been good for promotional material.

So we have a map that is inaccessibility incarnate. It's dark so you can't see Blu team unless you crank up your colors to the max and the rest is lava so Red melds with the background. You can't see sentries for shit because everything is red and brown. This map gave me a migraine.

Slime

"Hey, kids! Wanna play koth with Salmon Run ripoff skeleton reskins that for some reason move at 3fps and teleport around making it impossible to aim at them?"

Yeah, fuck this map. The stupid fish spawn en masse and never stop, making it impossible to even get to the point if you're in a small team. The sea shantie never stops playing so that's added torture. The only good thing out of this is that my mini sentry was still up at the end of the match so I got 60 contract points by waiting for the game to reload the map while I was tabbed out.

I take it someone made a video explaining how to program the skeleton AI in custom maps this year. Otherwise I don't see why the workshop was hit such a wave of originality this past year.

Perks:

"Hey kids! Want to play koth but, like, less? This is the map for you!"

Why the fuck are we playing arena in 2023? Every time it takes ages to complete these contracts because you make at best 5 points per match and that's just if you're stomping the other team! I wasted too much time on this shit. May it burn in the same pit as Graveyard. Fuck play to spectate mode. Valve had a point in removing it from pubs.

Mannsylvania

Every year they add a new chokepoint fest. All you do is leave spawn and hope you don't encounter the same piece of shit who's been camping the rare spell for the past twenty minutes. It's a bunch of hallways. You run around staring at the sky like an idiot hoping that this next turn is going to make you bump in the guy with the points you keep seeing through the walls. Horrid design. Shouldn't have been added at all.

Sandcastle

I don't have much to say about this map. It's DeGroot Keep but sand. The underworld is cute but there's nothing different otherwise. It's a summer map with spells active. I played it a little longer than the others because I like medieval mode.

Corruption

I couldn't believe it at first. This is the one decent map. It's a payload map that isn't just a spam fest. It has the appropriate space for everyone, actual flanks and not just the same door slightly to the side. It forces both sides to be smart with and against buildings and charging in with uber is actually rewarded. And even better, you don't keep clipping into the clutter that's spread around the floor because ✨ aesthetics ✨ (Hello Bonesaw. Fuck you specifically). I don't get the logic behind the underworld being a mental asylum but still, a good map. It's incredible. I'd replay this one if I didn't run out of time.

Infection/L4Dvs/the zombie mode

Let's make a premise. Tf2 isn't good at explaining things. It's a game from another time where you were meant to learn through observation and a lot of trial and error. Minecraft is another game like this. You learn how to play from Youtube. But you know what Minecraft doesn't have? The projector.

In the old days, when you joined payload in quickplay for the first time, the game would show a little video with footage of the mode so you would know that Blu pushes the payload and Red tries to stop them. This zombie mode comes with a tutorial but it tells you 10% of what you're fucking supposed to do.

This is a community mode. Fine. What if I never played it? How am I supposed to know that the zombies can only…bite? Punch? It's a clunky melee attack that doesn't even feel good to land like a wrench swing or an actual punch. They don't tell you that the zombies have unique abilities. You just get a meter and then you have to figure it out. I played through all the maps and still don't know what half the classes do.

Well, obviously they're in some way based on the infected from Left4Dead, a game I often found myself thinking about while playing this mode. But what is, say, a guy who started playing the other day supposed to know about this?

Next time someone says Valve should fix the game's learning curve, I'm going to personally apply their clown makeup. This isn't 2016 to find out the latest updates from VNN.

What about the maps?

Murky

Red sits on a little platform surrounded by sentries. It's pitch dark next to the water so you have no way to even get close enough to look at it as a zombie. 60% of the map is unused. The grass is annoying as hell. I left as soon as the contract was finished because fuck.

Woods

The famous wild turtle engineer evolves into a skunk engineer by hiding in a mine with two small entrances crying and whimpering while the level 3 sentry delays the inevitable. What these players fail to realize is that the sentry doesn't shoot faster depending on how much meat throws itself at it. They're simply wasting everybody's time and for this…they should really feel bad.

Atoll

This map manages to be worse than Murky entirely because of the broken hitboxes. I've bumped into several invisible obstacles. Atoll gets the "Bonesaw of the Year" award entirely because I died to fake gaps and platforms with questionable tangibility.

Devastation

The spirits of Bonesaw and Lavapit came together to have a child named Devastation.

This map is too dark. There are corners where you can only spot players because of their cosmetics. Sometimes zombies have to simply walk into the whole Red team and die because they spawned in a place with only one exit and some zombie classes simply don't get to use their ability here because the rooms are too small. The only good thing about this mess is that it bugged out and Red won the round as soon as it started. 30 points with no effort at all. That saved me precious time.

Sanitarium

I kept the best one for last because it's the one I actually enjoyed playing. The setting isn't too dark for once, the inside of a building isn't covered with assets from Mann Manor and it actually feels like a location from a zombie game. You'd expect hordes of rabid Left4Dead infected charging at you from the front yard, past the reception and in every room up to the top floor.

You can't keep a sentry down here for too long either, meaning that everyone has to actually play the game and there is no one just stalling for time and I've seen people have a lot of fun messing around in the elevator.

The only negative I can think of is that it could have used some more polish. The elevator uses a noise that I think comes from Half Life which distracted me because I'm weird like that. But it's a Source noise™️, it's not that big of a deal. The more glaring flaw were the floating zombie skins around the map and the console commands popping up in the chat. It doesn't look great but hey, Bonesaw dropped without a playable objective, didn't it? There’s always worse.

In conclusion, I guess we got 12 maps because Valve noticed that there isn't as much junk to throw in the crates as it used to and is adding gamemodes to make people shut the hell up. The zombie mode left me craving for L4D2 but I don't have as many people to play it with anymore. The other maps were the usual random crap they've been tossing in the game for the past few years. There was nothing really outstanding from the regular gamemodes visually but it was refreshing to get a good experience gameplay wise instead of something that only looks good in screenshots.

I hope we can go back to having a reasonable amount of maps added next year. Less is more these days of games diluting the experience so you stick around to buy the next season pass. Tf2 has no right, nor does it need these practices. It's a good game at the core without gachas or similar crap.

Also, the Toastmaster hasn't been broken for 0 days.

[thepenguinhbo]

34 for pinnguin maybe?

34. "Tell me about your childhood?"

"Hey, Oswald?"

"Hmm?" he muttered, his eyes still glued to the device he was tinkering with. "I'm all ears."

"What was your childhood like?"

After a long pause, he sighed, put the device down and looked up at her.

"It was good," he said finally; Charlie nodded silently. "Dare I say... Perfect, even. Loving parents, endless fun, good friends... Doesn't make for a particularly good story, really. Happiness never does," he added with another sigh; Charlie nodded again. In a way, he was right; it wasn't as simple as happiness is boring - but he was right. "Misery, on the other hand... Oh, misery makes for the best bloody stories."

"Right, but all I really know about your childhood starts with when things started to go sour," she pressed gently. "Not every story has to be groundbreaking, you know. Sometimes people just want to hear about the good old times."

"I've put my good old times behind me," he said, shaking his head; and Charlie raised her eyebrows skeptically. That was a new one; clearly it was a lie - and not very convincing either. Had he shed less blood in the name of vengeance, she'd be more inclined to believe him - but Oswald killed a man who ruined his life. Directly contributed to the murder of another. Tried to kill Bruce too, all because his father destroyed Oswald's childhood. "What about you, hm?"

ah, whataboutism.

"It was good," she said with a shrug; but the words felt heavy on her tongue, heavy and sour. "Mostly."

"Mostly?" he asked, resting his cheek against his fist.

"Well, for starters, mom and dad both worked a lot," she said reluctantly. "You know what it's like. Spent a lot of time hanging out with babysitters while my mom was saving lives at the hospital and dad was yelling at Rudy Giuliani."

"I had my fair share of babysitters," he said with a chuckle. "Ended up driving all of them insane... Except for one."

"That person being..?"

"Wayne family's butler," Oswald said with a grimace; Charlie let out a giggle at the dismay in his voice. "Never quite got under his skin. Still hadn't figured him out, to be honest."

"I think it's too late for that now. Isn't he like... Seventy?"

"His exact age is a closely guarded secret. Even Wayne doesn't know how old his butler is."

"Did your family have a butler too?"

"No," he said with a shrug. "Mum insisted against it, and dad... Dad only wanted to keep her happy," he added with a sigh. "But sometimes I wonder, if maybe... If maybe this is what could've prevented all that shit from happening. Maybe if we also had an Alfred Pennyworth... My folks would still be there, and I'd be rolling around in money."

or maybe he'd backstab you. or die as well. sorry, "disappear".

"I doubt that," she said instead; he sighed and looked away. "Uhm... Sorry. Didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"No, no, it's fine," he said with a wave of his hand; but in his eyes she could see things were anything but fine. "You were curious. I get that."

In response, she silently reached out to him; and he got up, sat at the edge of the couch she was laying on and sank in her arms.

He did end up showing her some old photos; of his parents. His pudgy, younger self. His friends. His home. In return, she showed him her album; and perhaps, in a way, he was right. Maybe happiness truly doesn't make for a good story - but she didn't really care. What does it matter if a story is good or bad? For a short while, all that mattered was the happiness that was once there.

[beekeepercain]

I'm making the weirdest comeback to this blog today, solely because I have no other blog I actually can post in the tags on but am NOT followed by people who know my partner.

Hi! How's it going? I've been absent from here for years, and by years I mean it's been at least 5. Lots have happened! But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here because I am haunted by some ace discourse I had here when I was like... 22.

Back then, I wrote something about how asexuals can still participate in sex for reasons that are unrelated to sexual attraction, such as baby-making or a desire to bond with a partner even if they themselves have no desire or drive for sex. It got a mixed response, for a controversial subject. Mostly positive - but some VERY angry individuals also told me that either all sex that an asexual goes through is rape, or they're a fake asexual.

So - fun fact - I've been on a journey here. For a good few years, I actually agreed with the latter points; I am asexual, and stopped being able to imagine situations in which I'd be comfortable having sex. I couldn't imagine it anymore and came to the logical conclusion that I'd been confused before and the rhetoric about inherent asexual nonconsent might actually be true.

The very concept of sex has been a very frightening, horrible burden on me since it became something that was within the realm of possibilities for me. I did not want any and I was despairing because that made me feel unlovable, like I'd be trapping a potential partner in an unsatisfying situation.

Then I grew up a bit more again, and began to realise it was less the concept of sex overall that was the problem - the problem is specifically that I don't want any. Period. However, the concept of giving my partner pleasure has always been an open question for me. On one hand, I am curious. On the other, the taste and consistency and smell of human fluids and crotch... frankly makes me want to puke. But what if said crotch was well-washed, with mild odor? Not something you've kept in your pants since last Saturday. What then?

I became familiar with the concept of stone butches. I felt... awed. That's a thing you can do with a partner? Give, and not want to be touched, and have both parties be okay with that? What if getting off is not the point of it, but being close and having fun instead? And I don't have to do anything I don't want to? A wild concept.

Another couple years - I met a person who was unbothered by my difficult relationship to sex. A person who was open to exploring and experimenting but had no huge ambitions for sex as a part of our relationship, and didn't care either way if it was going to be or not.

So, at the ripe old age of 31, after getting vaccinated for HPV for my own sake and going through a pointless set of STD tests to meet my partner in the middle with trust and safety, I felt comfortable enough to do science in the field.

And you know what I found out?

First - I am so incredibly, boringly, utterly asexual. Arousal? I do not know her. In fact, I barely know her name. This is now an undeniable, inescapable fact of me that I have proved in every single way a person can. And it's fine. Do I still kind of wish I wasn't? Sure. I do feel like I'm missing something, but on the other hand, I have a thousand other things I derive my basic animal pleasures from (like head rubs, or ice cream.)

Second - sex as a giving, not receiving, party is the exact same feeling as giving someone I love (in this case, a life partner) a massage. I don't get shit from giving a massage to them, and my arms will hurt after, but it's fun and it's intimate and it's nice because my partner likes it and it makes them feel good. Sex is the same. It was not groundbreaking, it was not degrading, it was not painful (other than for my muscles, my poor fucking muscles dear GOD), and it was fun and it brought us closer. It was fun enough to keep at it for four hours one day, but I'd again rather eat rocks than do that every day. The same way I'm not just available to rub your shoulders all day long, I have other things I want to be doing, but as an occasional thing - yeah, sure. Why not.

Third, it is a REALITY that I can exchange sex for massages. I can get a massage. I can leverage this whole getting my partner off into receiving nice physical pleasures for myself that I like and actively desire. And it's particularly nice after I've destroyed both of my wrists on the altar of their enjoyment.

So like.

Yes, sex repulsed asexuals are real and there are no circumstances under which one should be forced or pressured into any sexual act, or made to debate or defend their desires, wants, wishes, and lacks thereof. This is all sexual coercion, and at worst, it is assault. If you push ANYBODY who is not interested, you are a disgrace and I hope you eat yourself in your sleep.

However, sex neutral and positive asexuals also, apparently, do exist. I was right about at least one whole thing when I was 20. Look at that.

As a final word on this update nobody expected - I'm sex neutral. Sometimes the whole subject makes me feel like throwing up, most of the time I'm whatever about it, sometimes I'm curious about it the same way you're curious about trying a new dish or touching a fabric you don't know beforehand what it'll feel like. Unfortunately my own body is permanently disinterested and I'd throw up out of discomfort and spite if anybody tried to push me into receiving "pleasure", however, as long as my partner accepts this about me, I'm free to enjoy the science of it all, and the togetherness of spending time with my partner in a manner that is... deliciously heavy on trust and good intentions. It's nice. Having my boundaries respected is like. Extra nice.

That's it. Hopefully this puts my mind at ease about the angry reblogs from a decade ago. Probably not. You will haunt me to my grave, strangers on Tumblr.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

DRS: Makoto Naegi

well, here we go

oh, he thought Naegi's luck would work the same way as Komaeda's

PERHAPS YOU LACK THE MEANS OF SELF-OBSERVATION I am saving that one

first roasting him then comparing him to a butterfly, still doubting that luckster wouldn't be a danger to others

they're on completly different pages, Makoto doesn't understand a thing he's saying and he doesn't believe what Makoto told him about his luck, somehow Gundham ended getting something out of this conversation

Komaru was in a closet once

Kaede commenting about Makoto being experienced as a brother made me think how this is typical Kaede problem-solving, she took the initiative to confront Masaru, but asked Makoto for help,

she knows when someone can handle a situation better than her and is open to inviting them to the conversation, but still has to take the lead and stays involved instead of letting Makoto deal with it on his own

so Makoto is a "complete newbie" when it comes to online games, huh. Chiaki offering to teach him was kinda cute

Kyoko interaction so marriedcore, they're gonna investigate together "We can each see things the other might not ;)", Makoto's flipping through reactions and she's just giving him that little smile the whole time

they didn't find anything and she still said it wasn't wasted time, oh they're not giving up on the investigation yet, but still, they spend the whole afternoon together and then the next event also starts with her

it's honestly a little funny how he's making nervous expressions so much while she's mostly smiling, even making that closed-eyes very content face, I don't remember Kyoko smiling this much in thh

them!

apparently they've been talking for a while, curious, oh it's the one where she tells him to be careful, okay it's my favorite this far

pfft

Tsumgi waging psychological warfare on Makoto for fun

out of his Potential of Talent options I have to say, I didn't even expect Sayaka to be there, but I ended up liking this one the most, it was interesting, also what was that with him telling Komaru he hasn't told their parents about his plans, I thought he was a good boy

ugh, Makoto has more events than others, it's the longest compilation, glad I started with it, it would be a pain to go through later when I'll lose my enthusiasm

It takes so long bc I am taking notes, I am fucking studying everything they're saying, taking it seriously, I am on a 7th page of notes and just getting into Hiroko & Kokichi event

When she said "Let's hear Kokichi out" never ever have a single sentence meant so much to me, I love her for that, this is so groundbreaking to me, if I were in his shoes I'd tear up but I am a weaker bitch with the same issues so

both of the fake origin stories he has here have him already in the area of the academy as a baby, that's really interesting, is it implying that he has no past prior to attending if so, is it a message to them not to pry or his feeling, was he raised there, what (screaming)

a little weird choice for Makoto to have so many events and then in several he's just sorta there for exposure, like, that's so very protagonist of him to be present during interesting situations so we can see them, adding nothing to them,

in Kyoko & Shuichi and Hiroko & Kokichi events it's super clear he's just there as a side dish, and in his event with Togami they just *subtly* explain to us who did what for a barbecue despite not being interested Togami entertains him long enough for Naegi to say what he has to

Junko's event was weird, guess I have to do her events next to try to understand, she said she's bored of her old shtick and that she wants an exciting, unpredictable future. When Makoto said she'll be fine, she called him a bad judge of character, but that's wrong, he was just

thinking of the other Junko he knows, it's not his fault or a bad judgement. I am thinking of the moment when she looked happy at the prospect of that hopeful future he believes she has, the deadpan reaction is delayed like it caught up to her that he's talking about

Mukuro, not her. At the beginning of their interaction he makes a comment he already told Mukuro, Junko has a wildly different reaction, then she shares that she has no hope and he reassures her, she smiles and then he brings up knowing her for 3 years, she gets angry

not saying that's exactly what happens, just trying to wrap my head around it, my theory is that she thought he knew he was talking to a different person, so she was disappointed when she realized he was talking as a Mukuro's friend and not as an ult hope giving even her a chance

I was also trying to guess why Komaeda was making that face in Makoto's "My Future" and all I came up with are those two scraps: 1)Makoto acted in a way he didn't expect, he's disappointed because he doesn't understand Makoto's hope?

2) he's jealous of what the other luckster is able to achieve? He said that luck is a lame talent, he never saw it as equal to others, but turns out it isn't as much of a setback for Makoto as it is for him and the other is still able to reach high in a way he wouldn't dare to

I am not one of the Komaeda specialists tho, so I'll leave figuring it out to them, my brain is too small and my heart even smaller and already filled with Kokichi, I am not gonna give myself a headache over this, have fun

First posted on December 9, 2021 (twitter) Detailed notes below (WARNING: since this was the first one I went through, I didn't know what to focus on and it ended up extremely long, none of the characters I'll be posting about next will have a comparable amount of notes, I am so sorry, keep reading at your own risk):

first event: Gundham Tanaka

calling Naegi a sinner

he thought Naegi's luck would work like Nagito's

assuming that luck has to be dangerous, if Naegi doesn't think he's dangerous then it's his obliviousness

Makoto doesn't understand Gundham at all

somehow Gundham ended up answering some existential question he had just by talking at Makoto (we don't learn what)

he let Makoto pet the Devas in gratitude (offered their "blessing")

second event: Kaede Akamatsu & Masaru Daimon

walked in on Kaede scolding Masaru for sleeping at the music venue

turns out she asked Makoto for help, he checked on other kids off-screen, they were in their rooms

WoH remind him of his sister so he's concerned for them and can't ignore them

Masaru taking their worries as trying to control him

did WoH really have a fight? It looks like they guessed right, judging Masaru's face

Komaru locked herself in a closet once

"intervening will only make him rebel more"

"I can tell you really have experience as a brother"

both Kaede quotes, I guess this scenario shows her personality well, she took the initiative, but relied on somebody who she believed was experienced to assist her

third event: Chiaki Nanami

sleepy... zzz (for real)

Chiaki! you're going to spill your soup, oh no, she doesn't hear us, she has air pods

jk, she woke up

pulled an all-nighter, I feel you

she met somebody other than Sonia that's from Novoselic online for the first time? Or was that Sonia all along, hm?

She always prioritizes the game over chatting, but not this time

she invited Makoto to play with her, he called himself a complete newbie, but he's interested

aww, she offered to teach him

he tells her to lower her expectations for his luck with drops

fourth event: Kyoko Kirigiri

so Makoto is investigating the island himself, something with the mysterious photo that probably wasn't taken by Mahiru herself since she "doesn't remember taking it" AND Kyoko offers to investigate together

those two are so marriedcore idc

she looks so pleased to spend time with him, while he's constantly making some nervous expressions

for Kyoko it's fun, not a serious investigation

they both look forward to seeing each other again (it's evening)

fifth event: Kyoko Kirigiri & Shuichi Saihara

they have been there for a while before Makoto joined

Kyoko was telling Shuichi detective stories from her investigations, talking about detectives she worked with, many are dead now, she rarely gets to talk with fellow detectives nowadays

she's looking out for Shuichi, Makoto adding that it applies to her too

sixth event: Maki Harukawa

she's accusing him of being "conspicuous" right off the bat

they got an idea that the picture might be of a ghost?

she said she'll tell his classmates that he's "up to something interesting" if she meets them, nice

seventh event: Tenko & Impostor

"Tenko, you look like you're in agony"

well, that was harsh of the Impostor, guess he was feeling very Byakuya today

it's good to see her trying to change

eighth event: Komaru Naegi & Sayaka Maizono

Komaru being awkward around Sayaka just like in the prologue

ah, she's mad at him for not getting it

they're annoyed at each other now

ninth event: Tsumugi Shirogane

they're going to watch a movie

bonding over being basic bitches

Tsumugi sends a psychic attack, plainly

A rivalry?!

Oh my god, psychological warfare on my Makoto

"teasing", you were torturing him, girl.

Potential Of Talent:

-Maybe I should talk to another lucky person (Komaeda)

"Aren't I lucky, getting sick on a school field trip?" bastard, what the fuck do you mean by that?

still calling himself a scum and thinking his talent is lame

they both think that the other's luck is more impressive

-I am lucky my sister is here! I'll talk with her. (Komaru)

uh oh, they're picking up where they left off

he's never been uncomfortable with ultimates, duh, he's one of them

Makoto is asking a big question, will they be back to ordinary after graduating from Hope's Peak? I think not.

She tells him their parents are stressing about what he's going to do post-graduation

Oh? he hasn't talked to them? One would think Makoto to be mama's boy, but guess not.

Makoto, does death flag mean anything to you?

-Who knows a thing or two about chasing dreams? (Sayaka)

Surprisingly cute, I like what she said, Makoto can work with anyone, doesn't have to limit himself to a group of related talents since they don't really exist

I am proud to be an idol, but...

she compared talents to weapons, people with tangible talents weaponize them, Makoto doesn't

she said that makes him different, but she also expects him to find "his weapon" eventually

she knew he was looking for advice and pulled the classic "I'm a psychic" joke

tenth event: Byakuya Togami

he gives Togami a ticket? To what?

a barbecue, Leon's idea. Togami didn't want a ticket before he knew what it was for

Mondo is involved, to prevent Monokuma interfering, that's why they need tickets too, those are illustrated by Hifumi and his idea (he def got from cons), important events should use tickets, looks like the event is group effort

Togami calls it pointless and Naegi a nuisance

Teruteru will help with cooking (so more of a boys night rather than their class like I first thought)

Teruteru and Kirumi's cooking is good enough for Togami, shocking.

eleventh event: "Junko" Mukuro Ikusaba

she loves swimming, got to move a lot

"guess models have a lot more stamina than you'd think" ha! Makoto... "More or less." girlie, I can't.

"I've never gone on school trips or anything like that before", "It was my choice", at least she gets to be happy now

the camp is a golden opportunity for ultimates who live very busy lives (like her)

stop frowning, Makoto! Now you've done it, she's embarrassed

Mukuro retreated into the sea (but dragged him along)

twelfth event: Hiroko Hagakure & Kokichi Ouma

Hiroko pointing out how wild Hope's Peak is as a concept

Kokichi calls her Hiromom

"Can't guarantee an answer though." I like her

Shut up Makoto, it's a good question. Hiroko is smarter than that and wants to hear Kokichi out

Hiroko being chill about Yasuhiro's talent and having a normal relationship with him, so good, so exceptional in DR universe full of fucked up people, bonus points that she knows how people can treat their talented kids (profiting or shunning) and goes back to acknowledge the issues can occur in any family, the status of an Ultimate doesn't change anything, parent's role stays the same (therefore it shouldn't matter whether a child is talented or not, parent's love should be unconditional)

but yeah, Ultimate households have a /slightly/ higher chance of those problems happening

"I was born from the big tree behind Hope's Peak Academy", "I often dream about what it'd be like to have parents. I want the clearest image possible!" (he makes a serious face here, slightly upset even) "Didn't you say you were abandoned as an infant in a coin locker at the station nearby the academy?"

Is Kokichi pointing at something more than not having parents in his life? Is it a message not to pry into his past? Is it a genuine feeling that his life started at the academy? Is it not a metaphor and he was raised at Hope's Peak?

she calls him a naughty kid for that outrageous lie and he changes from that serious face to his biggest smug smile

Summer Festival: (Live Street Performance)

-Fuyuhiko is performing with us. What's he up to?

so Fuyu tried playing instruments... and found out that it isn't easy to learn playing

they brainstorm what to do (non-described)

-Nekomaru is performing with us. What's he up to?

screaming wildly, apparently, maybe he's yodeling?

they also brainstorm, while doing vocal exercises

-If anyone has an answer, it'll be Ibuki!

"have you heard of body percussion, Makoto?"

"Ibuki gave me some valuable advice!" Idk about that.

Send-off bonfire

-I did manage to get along with Ultimates... (Hajime)

Hajime "Wait, aren't you an Ultimate too?"

yeah, yeah, basic bitches bonding 2, maybe no psychological warfare this time boys

-I've gotten a little stronger at least... (Mukuro)

time to get roasted by Mukuro ig

ok, at least he knows, "I am as scrawny as ever", he meant emotional growth, "your heart and will or some junk"

"you've been plenty capable from the very get-go!"

I'm glad they got to talk about memories and that she's being so positive

-I'm still not quite sure what luck is exactly... (Nagisa)

not Nagisa telling Makoto he's complicates

"Harsh evaluation", guess Naegi got roasted again

My Future...

two paragraphs? of "people working behind the scenes"?

a group of academy personnel entered this world to perform tests

what the photos have to do with tests?

Shuichi didn't understand Chihiro's "technobabble" aww (I wouldn't either)

Mahiru's embarrassed, she started all that drama, and it's leftover data from resets

enlightening experience: many people are involved that we don't see (allowing them the camp experience with all this unseen work)

Nagito's looking so disappointed, is it because Makoto acted in an unexpected way? Is he jealous of what Makoto is achieving with the same talent as him?

Thirteenth event: Junko Enoshima (real)

she can also swim a lot, but it bores her with how effortless it is

Makoto makes the same comment about stamina, but unlike Mukuro she flips out at him (So did he notice she's different? It's almost like he did for a moment, but then no) [I didn't know Junko and Mukuro aren't both at the camp and that there are 2 parallel timelines to include them until I was doing Junko's events]

bored of her old shtick? wants a future?

how cute that he tries to support her, thinking it's the same Junko

"you're a bad judge of character", no, he's just thinking of your sister. Is she upset because she thought he knew and he failed that expectation, talking as Mukuro's friend instead of ult. hope talking to her?

Somewhere in the main plot, out of events, Makoto gains the confidence displayed in "My Future", the investigation helped him figure out what he wants to do - work at Hope's Peak, this is exactly what he needed to gain his hope fragment

[jiangwanyin]

ooh hi hello - !! 2, 3, 5, 12 & 17? :)💗💕

aw hii there vicky thank youu for asking <33

2. did you reread anything? what?

oh god yeah tons. obviously lotr and the silmarillion, northern lights, i reread the whole chronicles of ancient darkness series just for the nostalgia, the martian, tsoa even though i hate it, thrawn and thrawn: alliances, and i read norwegian wood and tgcf twice this year (which were both new reads i just felt a need to repeat almost immediately whoops)

3. what were your to five books of the year?

wahh only five this is hard um okay;

1. tgcf by mxtx

2. norwegian wood by murakami

3. the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

4. h is for hawk by helen macdonald

5. the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy by douglas adams

5. what genre did you read the most of?

fantasy i believe? but i don't even know what genre half the books i read this year would actually belong in help so i have no idea tbh—

12. any books that disappointed you?

hmm i wouldn't go as far as to say they actually disappointed me, maybe just didn't quite live up to my expectations? but yeah the ones that come to mind are never let me go by kazuo ishiguro, howl's moving castle (i think i'll stick to the movie my beloved), the left hand of darkness by ursula le guin which i have mixed feelings about tbh, i enjoyed the general idea of it and the wordbuilding etc thoroughly but as much as i do love some of her books, her writing style was a bit dry and it didn't really move me which i feel sort of guilty about, i hoped it'd have a bigger impact on me if that makes sense? i really want to reread it next year and see if i feel the same or if i just wasn't in the right headspace for it when i read it oH and stephen fry's troy was mildly disappointing too i had high hopes for it and was really excited about reading it and hoped his retelling would be slightly more original and have a certain depth to it instead of literally just recounting the events of the trojan war with a pinch of humour and some fun facts on the side, alas (it was still good btw just nothing particularly groundbreaking or revolutionary)

17. did any books surprise you with how good they were?

ohh that's actually hard, i tend to go into new books with relatively realistic expectations i think and apart from aforementioned cases i tend to be right about which books i'll enjoy buut the ones that sort of fit are mostly books i didn't know much about before reading meaning i didn't really know what to expect? those in this case being: loveless by alice oseman (which i actually read because of you btw thanks again hmwjfd) which i thought i'd be neutral about since i'm not really into YA and i stand by that but it did end up hitting surprisingly close to home, the humans by matt haig which i had no clue about i just read it because i got it in an uquiz result helpp and it looked interesting, the last days of judas iscariot by stephen adly guirgis which was very different from the usual things i read but oh holy shit hh it's been living in my head rent free ever since aand finally another one i judged maybe a little too harshly based on what i assumed the target audience was and because i thought it was just another YA book, this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone whiiiiich i didn't necessarily think was outstanding based on like . literary value and whatnot but the overall concept and certain lines from it really stuck with me!

end of the year book asks!