#it was very similar to this but almost worse for how much younger earths character was in canon

[tinrange]

Despite rushing it, this weeks Your Sky episode left me feeling relieved in some way, there was no sidestepping the external homophobia or its impact on Rak. He was not in his head, he was nervous and right to be and that fear thats been plaguing him is not one borne only of outsized fear.

This is going to sound incredibly jaded but im increasingly tired of modern QLs not committing to homophobia as a True obstacle for their protagonists. It is sooooo reocccurent: Only Boo, 23.5, even as far back as Dark Blue Kiss and countless other shows, the characters are scared and apprehensive about coming out just to be told theres no reason to. Its becoming increasingly grating to see tv that wants to include homophobia, whether to legitimize a rship in face of struggle or make their characters more relatable to an LGBT audience, but never has their characters deal with it as anything more than an internal battle because everyone around them is always ready to accept them.

Raks commitment to sticking by Fah even as his father disapproves is a big moment for his character growth and a display of how their relationship has not only made him happier but firmer in his wants and needs. The menacing air around his father at dinner, his mothers silence before her sad acceptance, the blow up with swearing and his fathers assertion of control, all complete with his fathers decision to put his adult son on house arrest and watch him like a hawk lest he steer off the right path. They cant even talk. Its also such an underdiscussed dynamic to be the one who has to introduce more pain to your partner, especially the homophobic kind. For all the queer discourse on dating someone whos closeted, theres a worry of having to 'force' someone to endure what you have to for the crime of loving you. I wish the show wouldve had more time to sit with these themes but in some ways I get it, its hard to rectify that melancholy with the light vibe its had going, similar to the LITBC movie.

Theres been a lot of discussion on sanitizing queer experiences for a larger audience, sparked by a great post from @lurkingshan, and to see a show so firmly bubbled up that it seemed removed from all real depictions of homophobia reaching for the chance to show something Real made me appreciate it much more. Its extremely telling that even in the homophobic 'I like you, not boys' era familial and communal homophobia was treated as a viable obstacle instead of a stepping stone to a happier future. The commodification of BL specifically has made these sort of expressions of overt homophobia rarer recently. Even when its discussed you cant really see it the same. A show like this, whos audience loves a bit of fanservice and light fluff, sticking to depicting such a lash out is an unequivocal good to me at this point considering how Thai BL really feels its hit a standstill in the things its allowed to be brazen about. It feels a bit fatalistic to say, especially for a show so nutrient light, but we really are entering a period of conservatism and the media landscape refusing to reckon with that is never a good sign.

[sorcerous-caress]

Hey remember Sol's siblings from this post? Well here they are!

Sirius and Rigel

Lore + personality expanded upon below

Name: Sirius (after the star sequence)

Age: 26

Occupation: Royal Palace Mage

Fun fact: She likes suits and traditionally masculine outfits over anything else. She prefers admiring how dresses look on other women instead—and maybe later, on the floor of her bedroom.

-

Sirius is the brightest star in the Earth's sky, and it's reflected in the way she dresses. Over-the-top accessories and shing silvers, embroidery suits, and grandiose appearance, the most eyecatching in any room she walks in.

Between her siblings, she looks the most approachable and reliable. Courtesy of her subtle draconic appearance, barely visible scales, and her wings never shedding off their baby feathers, creating a faux angel wings look.

Her lack of draconic appearance despite her lineage could've easily been used to embarrass or shame her. Instead, Sirius fully embraced it, turned those traits to spin in her favour.

She is truly the embodiment of Charisma with a capital C. All the tricks in the books, all the sweet talks, and seamless confidence that drip from her every word. A person capable of selling fish to water or time to a clock.

A life in the royal court demands the cunning and equal intelligence to match, a sharp tongue and sharper mind. Sirius changes lovers much like she changes clothes, mistrusting that any woman she stays with for too long might just stab her in the back or purposely play on her jealous and possessive side.

The most attached she got to a living being in her life were her pet birds, something about their freedom invigorated her. For a creature to have the option of absolute complete freedom and yet choose to eat from her palm each time? To give up their choices and entrust her to care and provide for them?

It was borderline addicting, completely fulfilling, and endearing. Caring for those birds became an important part of her life, one that helped ground her back down whenever the court demands became too much.

Sirius kept her birds caged, but it's a room sized one. A sanctuary with curated flora. Offering them the most comfortable life. She'd cut off the tongue of anyone who even insults them.

More the once the cage has been "accidentally" left open by a tender-hearted maid, and more the once the birds came right back inside by their own will after an hour or so of flapping outside in the garden.

Sirius would only acknowledge her other siblings publicly if it benefited her. In private, she'd play up the role of the lovey dovey big sister if she's ever in a room alone with Sol, borderline parodying it.

All nice and sweet on the surface, forcing a hug, almost condescending in her way of baby talking Sol. Calling them "little star" out of mockery.

And yet, her mocking treatment held a hint of truth to it once before, back when both of them were much younger, still living under the same roof. Sirius extended an olive branch to Sol amidst all the cruelty in their house.

Sirius was sincere in her attempts. The little star title held so much love and endearment as she cooed at her little sibling.

But Proxima's death was too fresh on Sol's mind, who saw this as Sirius being her usual opportunistic self, merely using faux love as a means to an end.

Thinking the worse, they completely shut her off, time after time after time. Each genuine attempt on Sirius' part was met with scepticism until Sirius learnt her lesson the hard way.

Now that love twisted into a mockery, another stab at Sol's character whenever they'd cross paths.

-

Befriending Sirius (whatever that means), you'll come to the conclusion that she has a very similar personality to that of a suburbian dad, for lack of better terms. A carriage crash on the road? She's standing there eyeing it with her arms crossed, the other dads flocking to the area as well.

You mention liking something around her? Maybe a specific fruit or a brand of drinks? She hauls in a whole carton of it into your house first thing in the morning.

Unironically will call you "champ" and "buddy"

Dad puns galor.

She is an active member of the golfing club and goes there every Saturday. Horseriding is a close second favourite hobby. Why, where else would she spend all this bribe gold accumaliating in her manor and taking up space?

-

Name: Rigel

Age: 24

Occupation: High-ranking army sorcerer

Fun fact: He doesn't believe in staffs or wands, thinks they weaken the source magic, that the cons of using a medium outweigh the benefits. All his spells are done by bare hands and bare hands alone.

-

Rigel never expected to find his true soul on the battlefield amidst the blood, mud, and gore. Raised on a life of luxury and nobility, he thought he'd end up with a cushy palace job like his older sister.

But it always felt like a waste of his power. He didn't spend years honing his sorcery just to for its used to be limited to party tricks or lighting candles.

And with power, followed glory, statues and medals, the men under his command willing to follow his every order, breathe his every word, and blindly adhere to his command.

Every battle he won secured a herald of praises he'd be showered in afterwards, the title of hero stuck to him like gum under his shoe. Unwanted and nausea inducing.

All his harsh personality traits were suited for the cruel battlefield more than the day to day life. He could truly be himself, blunt, unfiltered, and never have to worry about other's feelings or social rules.

Back when he was younger and still living with his family and siblings, his blunt honesty always led to disaster. You try living with a bunch of prideful shallow draconics and say something without stepping on someone's toes.

Rigel was indifferent to his siblings. He didn't want this life, and he couldn't wait to get out.

His draconic traits manifested the most out of them all.

Physically with horns, sharp teeth, claws, and such. Neither was his personality spared. Vindictive, cold tempered and distant. Never letting go of a grudge (hehe foreshadowing)

Living in this place was the most suffocating for him. From his view, he already mastered all his sorcery better than any of his siblings. Not once did he have a slip up, not once did his magic disobey him or harm his body.

He clearly wasn't a danger to anyone, so why the fuck was he still kept in this castle like a caged animal?

Sol's existence annoyed him the most; it was clear to everyone in the room that his little sibling wasn't going to make it out alive. Sol was simply another doomed case, like a bug with broken wings. Wouldn't it be more merciful to kill them and spare them the agony? Why do the elders and mentors keep trying on such a hopeless case.

Especially with their fire not being very strong, he was just being practical. Sol is a sinking investment. Spare them the agony and give them a proper rest least they'll suffer their whole life attempting to control this magic. It's burning them from the inside out.

Yeah...you can imagine how long it took before these words got under Sol's skin enough to lunge towards him in the middle of dinner.

They weren't successful, of course. Rigel was better trained and deflected it easily. Both of them ended up getting told off.

But Sol kept trying, to no avail. They could never touch him. As the years went by, their attempts became less and less and they seemed to forgive and forget.

If anything, Rigel was surprised when he saw that Sol started wearing their hair in the same way as him....he started wondering if he was too harsh on them, sure they're still as fickle with their magic as a baby dragon, but maybe they aren't as bad as he thought. He had to admire their resilience a bit. Anyone else would've just laid down and accepted death.

When he turned of age and could finally leave this cursed place. He couldn't be more delighted. The stars seemed to allign as his scales moulted recently, tender skin exposed underneath signalling anew beginning.

And what luck would have it, Sol actually came to see him off on his last day! Still their annoying self, but more palatable. Rigel thought it'd be best if they depart on nice terms. After all, his harsh words definitely helped Sol grow up and blossom into their own strong person.

They extended their arms, offering their big brother a hug. Rigel was surprised...pleasantly so. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around them back.

Sol's smile pressed against the side of his face, warm breath against his bare skin, exposed and vulnerable.

And then.

Fire.

A breath weapon, to be precise, completely scorching his face in a diagonal line, melting the skin and frying the nerves underneath.

Seeing Sol's smile widen from the corner of his eye as he screamed in pain.

The departure gift his little sibling left for him, permanently marked across his face. Yet the physical pain couldn't even come close to the feeling of betrayal, for his own blood to do this to him under the guise of a hug.

A hug.

How could they.

The burn mark never faded, and Rigel swore he'll end Sol's existence the second they meet again for deceiving him this way.

The scales on his face never came back either, not in the correct way. The ones that grew back were frail, fragile, and prone to falling on their own. Nothing like the thick protective coat they used to be.

-

He prefers relaying information in person rather than in writing because...he struggles with dyslexia and has ordered the execution of a subordinate more than once over a misread word...or ten. If this was the modern time, then he'd be the boss calling you at 3am so you'd join the zoom meeting rather than send out an email or a text.

When it comes to his relationship with his family, he's currently the prime candidate to continue the family line through an arranged marriage with another sorcerer.

Sirius having weaseled her way out of that responsibility despite being older, she must have spoke something about how his magic clearly surpasses her own so he's clearly the superior choice xoxo, you should let her keep her freedom and take the famed war general instead.

[themousefromfantasyland]

Fairy Tale Laws: How Fairy Tales and their Worldbuilding work

Who follows me knows I'm mega into mythology and folklore. One of my favorite pieces of folklore and fantasy literature is the Fairy Tale. Since I was a child I was always draw to the magical world of Disney films and their darker literary counterparts.

I love fairy tales, yet in my opinion they continue to be one of the more misunderstood and neglected genres out there.

So, as a Disney fan and avid fairy tale reader, in this essay I show how the genre itself generally works and which principles rule their whimsical world

Fairy Tales, Myths and Fables

The thing that fairy tales, myths and fables have in common is that they all find their origins in the oral tradition.

They were fantastical tales, not told specifically for children but deeply enjoyed by them, that were transmitted through generations.

Both fairy tales and myths don't follow real world logic, instead following their own dream-like logic, in a sequence of weird and fantastical events, that are magical and intriguing to the listener, but essentially normal to the in-universe characters.

Often than not there aren't any explanations of why these events happen and their impact of those in-universe societies, they just happen. Animals talk, mythical creatures live along with human societies just fine, inanimated objects come to life, people seem to turn into animals all the time, etc, and nothing of that seem to ever change the status quo.

The thing that differentiate the fairy tale from the myth, is that the myth is supposed to have happened in our world, but in a far off past. They are supposed to explain how our world came to be, and they have a very strong religious importance. The fairy tale on the other hand is not supposed to be took seriously. It's a fun story that the older generation tell to the younger generation. It can pass deeply important life or religious values, but that's not their main point. They are fairy tales, not fables.

The point of the fable is to transmit a moral. The point of a fairy tale is to transport the listener into a fantastical journey.

Fairy Tales vs. Oral Stories

Although many folk stories became immortal fairy tales, not all fairy tales came from oral tradition. Actually, some can be traced back to specific authors.

The Little Mermaid, the Ugly Duckling and the Steadfast Tin Soldier are all considered immortal fairy tales, yet they were all created by famous danish writer Hans Christian Andersen. A lot of his stories are authoral, and all are considered true fairy tales.

The term "Fairy Tales" actually comes from the french "conte de fées" and was coined in the 17th century by Marie-Catherine Le Jumel de Barneville, Baroness d'Aulnoy, the Madame d'Aulnoy, a french writer who wrote about a world where love and happiness came to heroines after overcoming great obstacles.

These stories arise from the Préciosité, a French literary style in the 17th century, from "les précieuses", intellectual, witty and educated women who frequented the salon of Catherine de Vivonne, marquise de Rambouillet. Themes presented in these stories are the ideals of feminine elegance, etiquette and courtly Platonic love, all hugely popular with female audiences, but scorned by men.

Telling fairy tales was a popular préciosité parlor game, and they should be told as if spontaneously, even though they all were carefully prepared. This style served as influence for Charles Perrault and Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve.

Villeneuve herself was the original author of Beauty and the Beast, and although the story is heavily inspired by older legends like Cupid and Psyche, it still is an authoral story.

Even the Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault, who were famous for being collectors of tales from oral tradition, gave their own twists and embellishments to their tales. For example, in many Cinderella tellings it's her mother's ghost who helps her. The Fairy Godmother is Perrault's invention.

So more than been just stories from the oral tradition, fairy tales as a literary genre are the reinvention of the old tropes found in the folk stories under a more sophisticated polish, for a new public.

Fairy Tale as a literary genre

In a way I consider the Fairy Tale a sibling genre to Magical Realism. As TV Tropes puts:

"In Magic Realism, events just happen, as in dreams. [...] Magical realism is a story that takes place in a realistic setting that is recognizable as the historical past or present. It overlaps with Mundane Fantastic. It has a connection to surrealism, dream logic, and poetry."

Both use a surreal, almost poetic internal logic with little to no explanation. Magical Realism is the occurrence of a fantastical event in a realistic setting, in a fusion between the mundane and the magical world.

Fairy Tales are similar because they often deal with very domestic topics and subjects. The protagonists often are normal people with very mundane goals. They don't want to save the world, they want to save themselves and their loved ones.

Cinderella and Snow White for example, are more concerned with escaping from their abusive families than being cultural or legendary heroes like in the myths. Hansel and Gretel are trying not to die from starvation, and Red Riding Hood is trying to visit her sick grandmother. Regardless of class status, these are people with their own problems that find in the fantastical events a escape from them, or a even worse danger.

This is not a universal rule, as some characters are more heroic and there's more in stake, but generally the heroes are domestic heroes and it's only their lives that are in stake.

The difference between the Magic Realism and the Fairy Tale, is that while in the Magic Realism you can easily point where the realistic setting ends and the magical one begins, the fairy tale goes even further, and the lines between the worlds are way more muddled.

Worldbuilding in Fairy Tales

Now, that's the most important part. Fairy Tales are a sub-genre to Fantasy, but while in the other genres the magic world is described in the minimal details, often with rich details about the in-universe cultures and their rules, the Fairy Tale maintain the magic world as vague as possible. That's because it uses what I call "soft-worldbuilding".

Part of the appeal of the fairy tale is to transport the reader in a fantastical journey, but in order to do that they use as little details possible, allowing the reader to try to fill in the gaps. That's in order to avoid the magic world of feeling too real or too close to reality. The reader needs to have a sense of wonder and intrigue, and if you started to describe your world in all its details, it will become too grounded, and the wonder and the intrigue will be lost.

Said that, you need some basic rules, otherwise everything will be incredibly incoherent. You reader needs to understand how the magic world works and their rules, but they also need to be slightly lost, discovering all the details along the way and be amazed by them, lost in a mystery that they will never find all the answers.

To illustrate this, look at the differences between the Middle-earth and Narnia. One is a standard fantasy world, the other is a fairy tale world. J.R.R. Tolkien drew inspiration from the epics, C.S. Lewis drew inspiration from fairy tales and childhood stories.

The Middle-earth is grounded on its own rules, with their own races, cultures, languages and myths. Narnia is a playground were everything magical is allowed. Greek mythology creatures? Okay. Roman gods? Okay. Father Christmas? Okay. Jesus? Of course!

One is worried about all the small details, the other wants everything as vague and simple as possible, as to ensure the wonder and the intrigue will never be lost the reader.

When you're dealing with a fairy tale world you have way more freedom than the standard fantasy world. You don't need to think too deeply in the details. You can use the Rule of Funny and the Rule of Cool as much as you want, as long as it's minimal consistent and coherent

Fairy Tale Laws

This are some basic rules and principles that I believe rule over the fairy tale genre

Establish rules of how the world works. Keep it consistent and coherent. That's your base

Not every fantastical event needs a deep explanation, and magic is not allowed as an universal explanation

Keep it simple. Don't worry too much about the small details.

You don't want your world to be too grounded in reality. A little escapism is key

Poetic logic and surrealism reigns

Have fun with all the weird and magical things that crowded your world. "Rule of Cool" and "Rule of Funny" reign

Never reveal too much to your reader. They need to constantly feel as if there is something more happening off the limits of your story

Domestic heroes (As Narnia and the old dragon slayer stories show, this is not an universal rule)

The overall tone can be darker and edgier, softer and lighter, or somewhere in the middle

[penguinwithitsarseonfire]

Your Hand Print's on my Soul

Part 1 | See the Full Series Here

Pairing: 13th Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 5,069

Warnings: None

Summary: After a terrifying adventure causes the Doctor to have a realisation about you, she seeks advice from some old friends. 

A/N: Fair warning, this will be a series, but each fic is a standalone. I’m using this to practise writing different characters and/or different writing styles, This fic features the Paternoster gang, because I love them!!

It hadn’t been a startling realisation, which was what had surprised her. Her realisations were often the cause of something dramatic. This one, however, didn’t involve an Earth shattering life or death situation, no one had held her by gun point until she’d had an awakening, and it hadn’t taken someone else pointing it out –  like an alien hell bent on taking some other culture over or the like.

No, it had been in a quiet moment. Just the two of you, lazing the day away.

You had been smiling, completely entranced in whatever you had been reading, sitting on the TARDIS steps whilst the Doctor had been tinkering. She had looked up for a moment, trying to remember which wire she was supposed to reconnect into the chameleon circuit, and there you were.

Under the glow of the TARDIS’ crystals, your skin warm and soft, your eyes sparkling, it had sort of… clicked.

The Doctor loved you.

She considered it for a moment, let the thought roll over in her head.

You had laughed at something in your book, and the Doctor realised she always wanted to hear it, that it was, quite possibly, just the very best sound in the world.

Yes, she loved you.

It made sense, really. It was surprising she hadn’t realised it earlier.

So she kept the thought with her, held it close to her hearts, and smiled at you softly. Before you could look up, before you could wonder why the clacketing and hissing from her tinkering had stopped, she turned away, resuming her work.

The life or death situation had caused the next realisation.

You had gotten separated from the group, and those awful, hideous (well, the Doctor assumed they were hideous, but she had admittedly never seen them) Vashta Nerada were back.

Her and the rest of the fam had found themselves back to the TARDIS, and the Doctor was about to manipulate where the light was falling over the park in a move that basically just involved popping the TARDIS in and out of time milliseconds apart.

But you weren’t there.

You weren’t there.

And so the Doctor had thrown herself into the TARDIS, furiously using every tool available to her to find some sort of evidence that you were alive – a bio print, a residual security scan, a photograph, anything.

And then you had stumbled out of a shadow, shaking, the person you had been with gone.

And the Doctor had realised then; she couldn’t lose you. Not ever.

Yaz had wrapped you into her arms and her and Ryan had ushered you into the TARDIS. The Doctor began her complicated flying manoeuvre, the day was saved, and Graham made tea.

And the Doctor realised; she had to make a plan.

The thing was though, she wasn’t really very good at this sort of stuff. Hell, she wasn’t any good at any sort of intimacy, platonic, romantic, or otherwise – as Graham could attest to.

Actually, y’know what, if Graham was to come to her today with some of those fears he’d had, The Doctor quietly reckoned she would’ve had a much better response.

That wasn’t what she was supposed to be thinking about, though.

But this was why she had found herself, parked over the Medusa Cascade, legs dangling out of the TARDIS door, cup of peppermint tea in hand, and just staring into space. Thinking about, well, thinking about you.

And what she ought to do.

“Hey,” you said, you voice only slightly louder than the low hum of the TARDIS’ engines. It was enough to pull the Doctor from her thoughts, as you so often did, even if you were the subject of her thoughts. “Are you alright?”

The Doctor nodded, turning slightly so she could look at you. You were wearing a plain green jumper and pyjama pants covered in question marks. The Doctor eyed the jumper curiously, it was setting off alarm bells in her mind, as if she was supposed to recognise it.

Then it hit her.

“Where’d you get those clothes?” She asked.

You looked down at your clothes and flushed. “Oh – um, the TARDIS. I’m pretty sure she gave them too me.”

Of course she did. The TARDIS knew the Doctor better than she knew herself.

She was surprised that the TARDIS had given you that particular jumper, and, if the Doctor concentrated, she could almost remember how it felt to wear; stumbling out of her – or well, his, TARDIS, fresh from the time war, itching to throw leather jacket on over it.

She liked it though; you wearing it. She wondered how you would look wearing something she wore today, like her suspenders or her scarf, or even her-

No. This wasn’t what she was supposed to be thinking about.

Still though, despite that, it suited you.

You nodded to the space beside the Doctor. “Do you mind if I join you?”

The Doctor blinked, turning her head to the empty space by her side, then back at you. “Yeah, of course. You’re always welcome.”

You gave her a warm smile. The Doctor focused on it, the way your eyes lit up, the way your nose creased ever so slightly, the way that utter kindness seemed to radiate off of you. She wanted to preserve it, capture that smile and hold it safe in her memory.

You toed off your slippers and joined her, leaning against the door when you had settled.

After you had all settled down after that awful, awful trip, Graham had asked to go home for the night. Ryan and Yaz had followed suit, and the Doctor didn’t blame them. After a day like today, she would to check in with her family too. It had been a frightening day, which the Doctor had apologised profusely for. Today had been worse than when they had run into the Death Eye Turtle Army – which was saying something.  

You had chosen to stay, citing that if you had left the Doctor alone, she would get into trouble, and she wasn’t allowed to get into trouble without one of the rest of you present.

It was a good rule. Clara had once had a similar one.

The Doctor sat there awkwardly, staring into her mug. She didn’t know what to say, how to comfort you, or what sort of words were the ones that you needed. She used to be so much better at this, and it was infuriating.

She took a sip, swallowing down her awkwardness, and turned to look back at you.

The stars seemed to reflect themselves in your eyes, bright and vibrant, as if they were reflecting your soul. You stared back at the Cascade in wonder. “It’s beautiful.”

The Doctor, who was memorising your face, the way the light hit your cheeks, the way it danced in your hair, hummed in agreement. Beautiful was certainly the right word for it.  

You turned up to look at her. “I can’t imagine what goes on in that great big brain of yours, but I’m here – if you need.”

The Doctor blinked again, and her mind whirring back to the very first thing you had said. Are you alright.

She stared at you dumbfounded. You weren’t even thinking about yourself, you were just worried about her.

The Doctor was acutely aware of how close you were in the narrow opening. If she leaned over just an inch or so, she could brush her shoulder against yours, feel the heat from your body.

She didn’t.

“It’s called the Medusa Cascade,” she said, turning away from you to look at the view. She gestured towards it. “It’s got around 15 broken moons –  some of them are just cracked, but others, like the 15th, are full on debris that float in orbit around each other. The eight is my favourite but humans can’t breathe on it. It’s also the halfway point of the universe from Earth, give it another couple of decades and you lot will be able to see it with telescope.  It’s even got-“

The Doctor paused for a moment. You had sighed quietly, staring downwards at your dangling legs. The Doctor swallowed, you were sad, of course you were sad, it had been a traumatic day. She tried to think of a way to fix it, to make it better.

“One time,” she continued, trying out for a story. A story would be good, she could totally tell a story, she was a great storyteller, she could keep Bruce Springsteen or Queen Alexia of Koros enthralled. The Doctor and storytelling? An excellent combination. “There were a whole bunch of planets that were taken here, and they were put out of temporal synchronisation with the rest of the universe by one second. It was actually a pretty intense feat of engineering, thinking on it now, but back then we had to-”

“You’re rambling,” you said, a small, sad smile on your face. “It’s okay Doctor, you don’t need to talk if you’re not comfortable. We can just sit here and watch the view.”

The Doctor clamped her mouth shut. She heard her teeth rattle inside her head, and wondered, belatedly, just how comical she looked, staring at this wonderful human with big eyes and a dumb expression.

She tried again.

“I’m probably down there right now,” she said, gesturing at a spot that held dancing green gas.

“Really?” You asked, your voice perking up. “But how can you be down there when you’re here? Wait, this is a time travel thing, isn’t it.”

The Doctor grinned, you had always been clever. “Yeah, younger versions of me are probably running around there right now, touring moons, sealing rifts in time, or trying out Rodravian ice-cream.”

“So you come here often?” You asked.

“Yeah,” The Doctor said. “This place here, it’s probably one of my favourites in the universe, well, after Earth of course – and Space Vegas, I’ve got to take you to Space Vegas-”

You laughed, soft and gentle, causing the Doctor to pause. Good. Laughter. That was important. Then, you looked at her more seriously. “So why here then? What makes it so special?”

The Doctor chewed on her lower lip for a second, staring back out onto the Medusa Cascade. She drummed her fingers against her mug of tea, which was still warm, and stared out at the plumes of coloured gasses that floated among the stars. After a moment, she said. “I… I guess it’s just a place that holds a lot of good memories.”

“With loved ones?” You prompted.

The Doctor looked at you, watched the way the light was reflected in your eyes, pools of colour shifting and whirring, as if it’s life came from you. “Yeah,” she said, and her voice cracked. “With loved ones.” She cleared her throat and turned away. “It’s a good place to think, too. I always come here to think, it’s quiet, it’s safe.”

Your voice was tentative, unsure, when you spoke again. It was as if you weren’t sure if you could, or rather, if you should ask. “What do you come here to think about?”

You.

The Doctor gulped back the rest of her peppermint tea in a single mouthful, set the mug aside. Then, she drummed her knuckles against her thighs. “Well,” she said. “I don’t know about you, but I’m quite tired, I think I might head off to bed.”

She didn’t look at you as she stood, she couldn’t look at you. If she did she would be met with your big sad eyes, your worried expression, facing the way you would chew your lip when you were nervous, something the Doctor didn’t think you even realised you did. No, she couldn’t face that, because if she did, she would never leave –  and she had to leave. She couldn’t have this conversation with you.

Not yet.

“Doctor-“ You tried, but the Doctor was already hurrying to the console. This was selfish of herself, cruel, even. She knew that. Of course she knew that. But she couldn’t handle this just yet. She needed a moment, she just needed to talk to someone about this, ramble on for a bit to slot all her thoughts into place.

She paused. Oh. Of course.

She turned to face you, looking at that spot between your eyebrows and above your nose so it looked like she was looking at you, but she wasn’t actually – because she couldn’t, wouldn’t, face your eyes. “I’ll take you somewhere tomorrow, somewhere really nice, and really calming – that is, if you’d like? Just the two of us.”

“Uh,” you said. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Brilliant,” the Doctor replied and she risked a glance into your eyes. She regretted it immediately. You looked so confused, so hurt. “Well then Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’re off to bed?” You asked, as if not quite believing her.

“Yep,” The Doctor said.

“Doctor… before you go,” you chewed your lip for a moment, as if contemplating something heavy, and then, just as suddenly, you flung yourself into the Doctor’s frame, wrapping your arms around her.

The Doctor felt warm, she could feel one of your hands rest against the back of her neck, as if they had found the right spot to be in. The other was against the curve of her back, resting their gently, as if you thought the Doctor was going to pull away.

The Doctor raised her arms slowly, careful not to jostle you, and returned the gesture. It had been a long time since she had hugged someone, and she felt awkward, unpractised. At the same time though, it was wonderful. The weight of your body was flush against hers, as if holding her wasn’t quite enough for you. No, you were grounding the Doctor, holding her stable in way the Doctor had never felt before, not in this face, at least.

Then, all too soon, you pulled away. “I just wanted to say thanks, for today, for um… For not giving up on me.”

That baffled the Doctor. Thanking her? It was her fault you had almost-

“Yeah, um of course. Uh, bed, that’s where I’m going now.” She gave you an awkward wave, before shooting off from the TARDIS console.

The Doctor had lied.

The TARDIS groaned in disapproval as the Doctor scurried off to the library.

“Yes,” The Doctor hissed. “I know, I know that was awful of me.”

The TARDIS whirred again.

“And selfish,” The Doctor said. “You don’t need to just tack it on, I know.”

The worst thing about it was though; the books were no help at all. Granted, the TARDIS hadn’t made it easy, but, after scouring the library for any sources that could help her process this information and work out how to move forward – well, none of it fit.

She huffed, blowing a strand of her out of her face, and glared at the growing stack of books that hadn’t given her any ideas at all. No this wouldn’t do.

“Alright,” she said to the TARDIS. “I think I need better help. Any ideas?”

Which was how, that morning (well, relatively) she found herself knocking on an old wooden door, you standing by her side.

“So who’re we visiting again?” You asked, stifling a yawn. The Doctor ebbed away a pang of guilt, it was obvious you hadn’t slept well.

“Some old friends,” the Doctor said. “Haven’t seen them in a while. I don’t think they know about my face.”

You scrunched your face up. “What do you mean by that?”

Any response the Doctor could have given was stolen when the door flew open. The man narrowed his eyes at them. “You will state your name and the purpose of this visit.”

“It’s me,” she replied. “The Doctor.”

His eyes regarded her carefully. “Well,” he said, after a moment. “You never told us that you could regenerate into a man.”

The Doctor’s hands flew to her face. “Wait, no, everyone’s been saying-,” she frowned at him, and was somewhat embarrassed that it had taken so long for the cogs in her brain to slot into place. “I’m a woman, Strax.”

“Who is it?” Came a voice from inside, and the Doctor smiled.

“It’s the Doctor,” Strax said, opening the door wider now. “He says he’s a woman now.”

“She,” Jenny admonished, ushering Strax aside. “And what do you mean the Doctor’s a…” her voice trailed off as she caught sight of the Doctor. Her eyes widened, looking the Doctor up and down. Nervously, she swallowed. In a clipped voice she said. “Ah. Right. A woman, got it.”

The Doctor rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet. “This is Y/N,” she nodded to you. “I thought you’d be a great tour guide.”

By the Doctor’s side you gave an awkward little wave. “Hi.”

“And it’s nice to see you too,” Jenny pursed her lips towards the Doctor, and regarded you with curious interest. “Well come on in then,” she said, stepping aside to allow both you and the Doctor to enter. “How long’s it been for you anyhow? Since you last saw us?”

“Aw,” the Doctor drew out the sound, giving her an awkward look. “A while.”

Jenny hummed. “Yeah, well, that doesn’t surprise me. When did all of this,” she gestured to the Doctor’s general space, then gestured for Strax to close the door. “Happen?”

The Doctor’s expression brightened. “Only a little bit ago!” She twirled around the foyer, arms out, her coat billowing slightly around her. She loved the way it swooshed. “What’d you think?”

Jenny’s voice was a little strained when she responded, and the Doctor could have sworn she had muttered ‘marriage’ under her breath. “It suits you.”

The Doctor clasped her hands together. “I was hoping to see-”

“She’s busy,” Jenny said suddenly. “Interrogating someone.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Who..?”

“Ma’am,” Jenny explained. “The Lady Vastra.”

You didn’t look as though that had cleared anything up, and stared at Jenny like a confused puppy, which was adorable-

And not what the Doctor should be focusing on.

“I’m happy to wait,” The Doctor said, tearing her eyes away from you and over to Jenny. “I know how she can get when she… interrogates someone.”

You shook your head in bafflement and spoke under your breath. “What..?”

“I was wondering though, if you could give Y/N here a tour of Victorian London-”

“It’s just London, for us, Doctor,” Jenny said with an amused smirk.

“Around just London, then,” The Doctor amended. “Around some of your favourite sights,” the Doctor turned to you. “The tea shops are fabulous, you’ll like those.”

You blinked rapidly, and turned to the Doctor. “Uh, can we talk?”

The Doctor nodded and you pulled her aside. You hand was warm, even through the fabric of the Doctor’s coat, and she didn’t want you to let go. You did. “Doctor, why are you sending me off with this woman experiencing unparalleled levels of gay panic and this small potato man?”

“Potato man?” The Doctor admonished. “Y/N, he has a name.”

In the distance, the Doctor heard Jenny whisper the words ‘gay panic’.

You shrugged slightly. “Well I haven’t been told it.”

The Doctor reeled, how had she forgotten to do that? She pointed to Strax. “This is Strax, he was a nurse in the Sontaron empire,” she leaned in close to you, as if she was sharing a secret. “Essentially just mass produced clones,” then, spoke louder. “But can find the cure to almost any illness” Strax stifled under your gaze.

“And this,” the Doctor pointed to Jenny, not registering Strax’s reaction at all. “Is Miss Jenny. If an army of angry mind possessed Victorians come after you, she’s the best person to have by your side.”

“Mrs,” Jenny corrected, then turned to you. “And it’s lovely to meet you. Any travelling companion of the Doctor’s is…” she pursed her lips again, looking at you like she couldn’t quite make you out. “…is a friend of ours.”

“Right,” you said.

“And we would be more than honoured to give you a tour of London,” Strax said, his voice growing an edge of reverence and excitement. “I will show you the most strategic points of warfare, so that I may crush you in the fields of battle for the glory of the Sontaron empire!”

You looked at him blankly, and Jenny turned to him suddenly. “You’ve not been eating my sweets again, have you?”

Strax paled. “What? I – no, of course I haven’t. You have done me the most grave disgrace by suggesting otherwise-”

“You have been eating my sweets,” Jenny narrowed her eyes at him. “You took all the sherbet fizzles again, didn’t you.”

Before Strax could reply, the click of heels against the hardwood floor echoed down the hallway. Vastra emerged, tugging at her veil slightly. The Doctor could see straight through it, she always could, after all, but she wondered if you could see it.

Judging by the way your mouth fell open in shock, the Doctor assumed you didn’t see the veil afterall, which was different. “She’s a-”

“Yes.” The Doctor said.

“In Victorian-”

“Yes.”

The Doctor watched you consider it for a moment, then your face brightened. “That’s so cool.”

Vastra blinked, and it was the only indication that she was surprised. The Doctor was glad she still remembered how to read her old friend. “Well, that is a pleasant, if unordinary, reaction,” she cleared her throat. “Jenny dear, would you please introduce our guests.”

“Oh ma’am,” Jenny said. “That’s-”

“Me,” the Doctor said with a knowing smile. “C’mon Vastra, you know me.”

Vastra eyed the Doctor curiously, and her eyes widened in surprise. “Well, if I did not know any better, I would say that you’re the Doctor. I don’t know another soul who would wear suspenders of that colour.”

The Doctor grinned. “It’s so good to see you.”

“And I you,” Vastra smiled brightly, and her entire face emulated warmth. “I must compliment you Doctor, you are looking far better than any of your last faces can compare.”

“Marriage,” Jenny hissed.

“Oh come now dear,” Vastra said, but her eyes were still on the Doctor. “It was only a compliment.”

Jenny muttered something about flirting with half the galaxy, but the Doctor wasn’t paying attention, because your eyes were sparkling, as though you had solved the Collatz Conjecture. “You’re married?” You breathed. “To each other?”

Vastra’s smiled softened to you, like she was amused. “That is how marriage works.”

“That’s amazing,” you said. “How was the ceremony?”

Both Jenny and Vastra looked towards one another in amusement, and spoke at the same time. “Violent.”

“Your interrogation is over now, right?” The Doctor said, because she was itching to talk to Vastra.

“Oh, you were doing the interrogation,” You said. “How was it?”

“A bit too fatty from what I would usually enjoy,” Vastra said, her eyes twinkling. “But filling none the less.”

You let out a soft little ‘oh’, as if hadn’t occurred to you that Vastra’s interrogation technique wasn’t exactly above board. Then the Doctor realised that it probably hadn’t.

“And I am more than happy to speak to you, Doctor,” Vastra said again. “You know my parlour is always available.”

The Doctor turned to you. “You wouldn’t mind spending time with Jenny and Strax for a bit, would you?”

“Uh – no, no, of course not. You do what you gotta do space woman.”

The Doctor grinned, squeezing your shoulder, and jogged off to catch up with Vastra, who had already left the room. She knew you would be safe in Jenny and Strax’s hands, they wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

The parlour was how it always was, two tall chairs surrounded in an assortment of plants. Tea had already been brewed, because Jenny was nothing if not efficient, and Vastra sat in her designated chair.

“Your companion saw straight through my veil,” she mused, gesturing to the tea and silently asking if the Doctor would like some.

The Doctor nodded, and Vastra began serving. “Yeah,” the Doctor said, bouncing over. “I’m pretty proud about that, I think we’ve just seen so much now that nothing could be fazing anymore.”

“Well I’m sure you are one of those more delightful sights, Doctor,” Vastra passed her a mug and the Doctor took a whiff. It was French Earl Grey.

Then the Doctor realised what Vastra was saying. “I think this is the moment where Jenny would scold you about flirting, again.”

“Perhaps,” Vastra said with a smirk, which told the Doctor that Vastra knew exactly that, and that she didn’t mind it either. “So, tell me what is so urgently important, that I finished my meal early.”

The Doctor drummed her fingers against the warm ceramic. "My - my travelling companion, no, my friend, I... I think I, no. I know I..." The Doctor cleared her throat. "It's love."

"You're in love with your travelling companion," Vastra surmised, not as a question, but as a fact. "Is this something your friend knows?”

"Y/N," The Doctor said, squirming under the way Vastra had said the word ‘friend,’ like it wasn’t true in the slightest, like she could already see you were something more. No, that was ridiculous, the Doctor was reading too much into it. "And no - I... I haven't been able to work out what to do."

"So you've come to me," Vastra said, an edge of humour in her voice.

"You're my friend."

"Ah, so it's a bit of girl talk you're after," Vastra mused. "I suppose I can indulge you," she said, and then, after a moment. "My friend."

“It didn’t hit me really dramatically or anything, but I just… We had a really awful day yesterday, with the Vashta Nerda, which was already awful enough, but then Y/N got separated and I…”

“I understand,” Vastra said, her voice soft. “Although, Doctor, if you’ll allow me to say, you've been in love with many people before, need I remind you that I have been friends with most of them."

"Yes but, I haven't.. I don't..." The Doctor groaned. "I've never been a woman before."



Vastra raised an eyebrow, and took a sip of her tea. "So that's what this is," she said after a moment. "You've come to me because I am a woman who has seduced another," she scoffed. "You might be better seeing the Madame Julie D'Aubigny."

The Doctor almost smirked. "You've heard of Julie?"

"Doctor, I am a lesbian lizard woman from the prehistoric period living in Victorian London," Vastra said, in the matter of fact tone she often only reserved for the humans she considered unintelligent. "I make it my business to know of humanities greatest women."

The Doctor had a sip of her tea and took in a heavy breath. She hadn’t said these things to anyone before. It was new, it was frightening. It was also so very, very important.

"You know how humans can be can just be so bright, like there’s just that little something that shines within them, and, when you’re around them, it’s like that brightness is shining on you?" The Doctor started.

Vastra hummed, her eyes going thoughtful, knowing. Of course she knew, Vastra was another person who had fallen in love with a human.

"Y/N is like that, but... but more,” The Doctor said, and even she could tell that her voice was just filled with so much feeling. “I don't even know how to describe it, it's just – oh and that smile? Sometimes I take Y/N places just to see that smile, it's everything. Y/N finds the beauty in the mundane, and just adores absolutely everything I show."


The Doctor sobered. "How do I... what do I even do with that?"



Vastra leaned forward for a moment. "Well, do you want to be with Y/N?"

The Doctor swallowed. Did she? Could she do that to you? Could she collapse her absolute everything into you? Would it even be fair?

She thought about the way you had hugged her, how safe the Doctor had felt, how secure she had been. Perhaps, just maybe, it would be alright, to let you in, to fall completely into you.

But it would be cruel, it would be so much, and she would never want to put that burden on your shoulders.

At last, the Doctor whispered, in a broken voice. "I don't know.”

"Well," Vastra said, having another sip of tea. "I suggest you determine the answer, because I cannot tell you what you don't know, that is not how matters of the heart operate - or in this case, hearts."

“How do I do that?”

Vastra regarded her. “Doctor, that is not something I can tell you. Only you know your hearts,” she paused.

The Doctor took a sip of her tea, it was fruity, with a floral aftertaste. It reminded her of bergamot. She took one more, then another, swallowing down her thoughts.

Only she knows her hearts? What did that even mean.

The Doctor perked her head up, the pieces falling into place.

“I’m a time traveller,” She breathed.

“You are, yes.” Vastra said, frowning slightly. “That is one of your defining traits, Doctor.”

“No, I mean, I could just see another face of mine, one that’s better with all of,” the Doctor gestured vaguely around her, the tea sloshing in it’s mug. “This.”

Vastra raised her eyebrows. “That wasn’t exactly what I meant, Doctor.”

But she didn’t get the chance to reply. The door to the parlour flung open, and in stormed Jenny, with half the skirt from her dress burned off. You were walking behind her, frazzled and dazed, your hair flying everywhere and ash littered over your shirt. The Doctor noticed you had even lost a shoe.

“My word,” Vastra gasped. “What on Earth has happened?”

Your wild eyes found the Doctor’s, and immediately, the Doctor knew that her own crisis could wait. Something more important was afoot.

Part of her was excited, she had missed going on adventures with the Paternoster gang.

Besides, she had to work out which version of herself to talk to next, and that would take time.

“Well then,” the Doctor said. “C’mon team,” she screwed up her face. “Hm, no, wait. Crew?” her face then brightened. “Victorian slumber party – yes. C’mon Victorian slumber party-”

Vastra rolled her eyes, but was giving the Doctor a small smile. “You are not calling us that.”

“-let’s get a shift on.”

A/N^2: This was a bit of an awkward place to end it, sorry about that. I wanted the focus to be on the relationship advice but it all kind of spun away from me. Also, you won't BELIEVE how hard it was writing this without writing pronouns for reader, so, I have a question: how would you feel if I wrote Y/P for "Your pronoun"? I'm anxious about the fact that it could pull people out of the fic, but also, I don't want to alienate people by writing in a pronoun. So, thoughts?

[ssaltbending]

Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).

Part 1: Zuko

TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.

I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.

Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.

The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...

As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.

The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.

Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.

After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)

Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.

(art by @elisebrave​)

That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?

As my dear friend @persephobeee​ points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”

This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?

“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.

The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.

So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth. 

… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.

Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.

On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.

Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.

That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.

Final thoughts.

Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why? 

Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.

See you soon, 

a Capricorn sun.

[dryad-of-the-dogwood]

Until the End

Fandom: Dragon Age

Rating: M

Word count: 2,505

TW/CWs: Major character death, violence, angst, saying last goodbyes, all that awful stuff.

This is a No Cure for the Calling story, an Alistair and Cousland go into the Deep Roads together story, and I never thought I would write this but Silhouette by Aquilo got stuck in the angstiest part of my head and I sobbed writing it down, but I still did it. Forgive me.

Until the End (read on AO3)

The moment Alistair found her sitting up in bed one morning, staring at the wall with her expression perfectly blank, he knew. Nalissa Cousland was vibrant and intense, whether her emotions were good or bad, and Nalissa Theirin was no different. If there was something too intense for her to feel, that made it too much for anyone in the world, because she was the strongest person he had ever known. And the only thing she couldn’t be stronger than was the Calling.

They had both thought they heard it once, years ago. The Inquisition—or more accurately, Leliana—had told them not to worry, that it wasn’t real, that the Inquisitor would handle it. And she had, somehow, however she had killed a darkspawn magister that kept him from being reborn into the next available blighted body. They had wondered, but not even Leliana had really known the answer beyond some combination of Rift magic, a dead red lyrium-corrupted dragon, and the power of an ostensible elven god. And so it had been yet another thing that wasn’t an answer, just like Avernus’ research had been a dead end, just like Nalissa had never been able to cobble together a cure from the Wilds flowers that had saved Ash warriors’ hounds or get a straight answer out of Grand Enchanter Fiona about whatever had cured her all those years ago. Finally when the mage had broken down into tears, she had admitted she didn’t know, couldn’t give an answer even to save the king and queen of Ferelden, no matter how much she might want to. And that had been the last lead before the trail had gone cold.

So when Nalissa looked up at Alistair, her eyes sunken and shadowed but still the same heart-wrenchingly beautiful sea green he had fallen in love with, he had read it on her face. The dreams were returning, she was hearing the whisper of the song, and her time had come.

It should have been him first. Why wasn’t it him? He had taken his Joining months before she had, he had been the one to perform that Void-forsaken ritual that had saved them at a cost that all these years later they still didn’t fully understand. It should have been him.

But it wasn’t, and he wept as he pulled her into his arms, even if she didn’t. Even if she locked everything away behind the mask of nobility that even after two decades on the throne, he had never learned to wear like she did. She was indomitable, his Nalissa, in everything except the Calling she couldn’t escape.

She very nearly physically fought him when Alistair told her he was coming with her. It was her Calling, not his, she had insisted, had shouted it at him in their bedchamber in a bout of hysteria he had never once seen her give into before. She had pleaded, threatened, tried to give him an order as Warden-Commander, but he had only smiled sadly and offered to travel to Amaranthine with her for trial if she wanted to bring him up on charges of insubordination. Only then did she cry into his chest, not for herself but for him, when she realized there was nothing she could do to talk him out of it.

He had promised her once, when they sat together in the grass on an early spring day during the Blight. He had promised her he would be with her until the end, and he meant it. An archdemon couldn’t keep him away. The fact that he didn’t hear the Calling yet wouldn’t either.

The preparation, that was almost worse than the realization. The landsmeet was a debacle, full of angry lords terrified of more instability so close on the heels of everything else the Age had brought upon Ferelden. But Nalissa hadn’t faltered, and she had given them the best solution she could: her brother, the man with the highest standing and the most experience in the country, even if he had balked at her suggestion. It felt like a repeat of history, Teagan had said, watching another Cousland put forth to the landsmeet as a potential king just like the teyrn’s father had been, only this time with no Theirin heir to dispute it.

But it was the sensible solution, they all had to admit. Couslands had ruled in Highever since before Calenhad himself was born, and the teyrn’s oldest child with his second wife was old enough by then to handle the teyrnir. Eleanor was a bright girl, as stubborn and dutiful as her father and her namesake put together, and she would take Fergus’ place well. Nalissa smiled with something like pride when the landsmeet voted in favor, even if her eyes shone a little more brightly than usual from unshed tears.

The Wardens were even more difficult. Alistair hadn’t stepped foot in Vigil’s Keep in years, but he refused to let her go alone, terrified she would leave for Orzammar without him. When the constables and senior Wardens began shouting and grappling for the Warden-Commander’s seat, he almost wished he wasn’t there to see it. The order, without Duncan, without Nalissa, wasn’t half so virtuous as he remembered. But she stood her ground as she always did, naming a stern-faced woman younger than half of them as her successor until Weisshaupt saw fit to replace her officially. Alistair didn’t know the girl, but he recognized the set of her jaw and the steel in her eyes, because he saw them in his wife every day. She would lead the Wardens well, if they allowed it, and he could only hope they did.

They returned to Denerim before setting out. Nalissa wouldn’t miss her brother’s coronation, even if it hurt to brave the noise of the crowds with the song ringing in her ears, even if she had to wear gloves to hide the mottled bruise-like marks on her hands that neither of them could pretend not to see any longer. She hugged Fergus goodbye for the last time on the steps of the palace, and both she and Alistair tried to pretend they didn’t see the pedestal at the gates, prepared for a statue that hadn’t yet been carved, with both of their names and dates etched into the stone.

Alistair Theirin, 11th King of Ferelden, Champion of Redcliffe, Hero of the Fifth Blight

Nalissa Theirin née Cousland, Queen, Warden-Commander, and Hero of Ferelden

9:10 Dragon - 9:52 Dragon

It was already written in stone, the end of both of their lives. The hardest parts were done, all the decisions that mattered had been made. But Maker, did that still not make it easier to set out on their final adventure.

It felt like a hollow echo, walking through the gates of Denerim and knowing they would never do so again. Camping along the Imperial Highway, like when they were young and free, now just the ghosts of two thoroughly overwhelmed new Grey Wardens tasked with saving the world. They had said their goodbyes to Oghren in Amaranthine, to Leliana at the coronation, written letters to Antiva meant for Zevran and to Par Vollen meant for Sten. Nalissa had even sent one to Morrigan, though who knew if that would ever be read. To their friends, to Ferelden, to Thedas they were already dead, but at least what little time they had left was theirs alone.

They spoke often of the similarities, of the differences, of what Wynne might have said to see them walking into death together one last time. Leliana would write a tragic ballad for them she would never share, Nalissa was sure. Zevran would have pointedly declared it was their last chance to join him in bed for the night, Alistair decided. But though they laughed and leaned into each other and drew every moment of pleasure they could from these last few moments of peace, both marked them for what they were: a collection of lasts.

When they finally made camp in the foothills of the Frostbacks, that final night before beginning the descent, they didn’t sleep. They made dinner together, joked how neither of them had gotten any better at it since the first time Morrigan had tasted the gray dreck they had boiled to the point of a tasteless paste and swore she would do the cooking after all. They danced around the fire, watched their shadows on the mountainside seeming to stretch into infinity. They looked up at the stars and whispered together how beautiful they were, without mentioning they would never see them again. And they made love slowly and tenderly, until they were too tired to do more than lie in each other’s arms sharing I love yous and every moment of the last half of their lives they wouldn’t trade for anything.

When the sun rose, they didn’t pack up camp. They put out the fire and left the tent and bedroll where they were, for whoever might find use for them, without ever quite discussing it. They wouldn’t need them again. There was no return journey to look forward to.

And they stopped at the entrance to Orzammar, drinking in the sun and the sky and the fresh air that didn’t smell of nothing but earth and taint. Nalissa hated the underground, hated caves and tight spaces, and her last breath before they stepped into the dark shook as she drew it, but she would not shirk this path and did it anyway. Alistair would have taken everything from her if he could, the corruption and the pain, the fear and the duty, but all he could do was squeeze her hand tightly and assure her again that he was with her until the end.

The end, he kept thinking, as they passed the guards of the dwarven thaig, as they were allowed past into the Deep Roads, as the great doors swung shut behind them with a final clang that rattled in his bones. His end would be lonelier than hers, he knew. As much as he feared it, as much as he wanted to never see those beautiful eyes empty and unable to smile back at him, he had to see her sacrifice made before he could allow himself to fall. That was another promise he had made, down here in the dark what felt like a lifetime ago. He would never allow her to become what the women taken by the darkspawn were twisted into. She would die a Grey Warden, full of fire and wild roars and singing blades. And he would die however he had to after that, even if it was on his knees at her side.

The sob that passed her lips as they paused in the shadows didn’t even sound like her. It was hopeless, shattered, things Nalissa had never been, and she clung to him desperately with tears spilling between them and soaking their armor. One last moment of fear. One more last.

When she dried her eyes and he did the same, he held her as he always did, tight against him even with the barrier of the armor they hadn’t worn together in years. Her head on his chest, his chin on her crown, their arms holding tightly to keep from shaking. Then he took her face in his hands, thumbs stroking her cheekbones that were now too pronounced, and told her that she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And she laughed, a laugh like they were young and foolish again and could still count years together ahead of them instead of hours.

She was fearless again, at the end. When they sensed the darkspawn moving through the tunnels and planned their intercept course, she was already bouncing on the balls of her feet, daggers whirling in each hand, giving him that reckless grin full of confidence and battle high that still took his breath away just as it had the first time. His shield was heavier from lack of use, his blade slower, but hers were so fast they were almost invisible as she cut through a wave of genlock assassins. And it twisted his heart in a way that he would never have recovered from anyway to see her so brimming with life and so close to death at the same time.

When Nalissa fell, she had downed an ogre, a hurlock emissary, and more genlocks than Alistair could count. Even the blade that finally slipped between her ribs was almost a matter of luck, a hurlock whose sword had clanged off a blade she had already parried and back toward her quicker than she could counter. And even though he knew it was what they were here for, that it had to happen before she became something unspeakable she would never want to be, the sound that ripped itself from Alistair’s throat was pure agony.

His sword and shield suddenly weren’t heavy at all, they were feather light and full of lightning as he crashed through two other hurlocks to the one that still held the blade and removed its head in one clean stroke. Nalissa had already hit the stone beneath her but both daggers were still in her hands and she stabbed viciously into the back of another hurlock’s calf. Blindingly beautiful even soaked in blood, fierce and deadly to the last. The last.

Alistair cut down the darkspawn she had injured, looked down to see her chest heaving, and dropped his shield. She looked straight at him even as she struggled for breath, shook her head, but he knelt beside her anyway. And again, even at the end, he could see the tears that streaked her face were for him.

She couldn’t make the sounds, but her mouth formed the words. I love you. And he sobbed it back to her, pressed his lips against hers, one last time, one last time. Her hand tried to raise to the back of his head as it always did, but it made it only halfway before it dropped and she went still.

Miles away in the deep roads, surely there were darkspawn or very unlucky dwarves that could hear the sound of Alistair Theirin’s anguish. Certainly more of them seemed drawn by his roars, bore down on him as he fought like a man possessed, with no shield but a dagger in his left hand that had fallen from hers. And it fell from his too at the end, when a viciously barbed pike caught the gap in armor on his left side. It should have hurt, but nothing hurt more than he did already. Nothing hurt more than falling beside her at last, seeing the faint smile still traced on her lips even as her eyes shone empty into the distance. Not seeing him. Never seeing him again.

But his hand found hers, before the last blow that turned everything dark. One last time.

(Also posted on AO3).

[thegempage]

for the top 5 ask game: top 5 friendsim routes (and why :eyes but fast as i initiate infodump: )!!

JKFDASJKLFS OH BLESS

i got this question right before i went to work and i was thinking about it the entire time

so i’m gonna do a list and then all of the why under the cut bcus I Talk Many lmao

the list!! and tbh these aren’t in any particular order bcus choosing favorites is hard enough lmao (and tbh i have several runner ups), but the five routes that i hold very close to my heart are:

Skylla

Tyzias

Daraya

Wanshi

Bronya

and as for why, (i hope this readmore works? i’m on my computer so)

(and hey if you want to know my wider friendsim opinions go watch my hiveswap friendsim let’s play “Let’s Play Hiveswap Friendsim (For The Third Time)” which i can’t link bcus idk if tumblr doesn’t like links but should show up if you type that into youtube ajkflads it’s v funny and i tell lots of good jokes)

1. Skylla

okay so admittedly my initial thought is just “i think she’s neat” jfkdlsafjkl

but in a genuine way, skylla is the first older troll you meet, and one of the few with something resembling an actual job, and i think there’s something really special about that! she’s very down to earth (alternia, technically) and she takes you in without even questioning why the fuck you’re out there just bcus she doesn’t want you to burn up!!

and then!! she kicks like?? a dozen asses??? bcus she cares about ladyy and her lusus so much??? like they have lasers and shit and she just kicks their ass bcus she can’t let them win

she’s also a cowgirl and that’s cool as hell

2. Tyzias

honestly, if you don’t love tyzias you can just leave /jk

jfdaklsdfslk but actually, i love how much she’s trying. she knows alternia is deep in its own shit, she knows that it might just be too much for one person to take on, she knows what the consequences are for getting caught, but she’s still trying!! bcus she looked at the world and instead of accepting the bullshit like so many people (mallek) do she went “actually no, why is no one doing anything about that?” and she starts trying to do something about it. and even trying to get other people to help! 

as an outside observer, it’s kind of the first act of a tragedy, bcus obv most people playing friendsim have read homestuck, you know what alternia looked like in its last throes of troll occupation, you know that, at least in the timeline of homestuck proper, that tyzias is just one in a long line of people who tried. but those people also went down in history, even if that history was almost scrubbed over fuschia. i’d like to think somewhere on alternia, maybe in secret corners of teal bookhives or in the care of a jade cloister, someone wrote about her. i want to give tyzias a hug

3. Daraya

see: my point about wanting to give her a hug jkfldsajfkdsa

she’s just! she’s just so tired! and she reminds me a lot of when i was a teen, lost in the idea that there was no such thing as a fulfilling future, bcus everyone around you tells you what’s expected of you and everything they say seems like a tragedy not worth living to see. the sensation of living in apathy bcus facing the hurt and lonely despair is too much to handle when you’re a teenager trying to get by in the world. the idea that maybe if you dress up and put on a face everyone will just leave you alone and you can find your own comforts before ultimately preparing to leave the future everyone planned for you behind in the pursuit of something else that may very well be worse for you but gives you a sense of control back

and then!!! and then she opens up to you!!! bcus you can be someone who listens to her and understands that hopelessness and says “hey, i think i can give you a sense of the control that you’re searching for” and finds her someone her own age who can help her take control of at least some part of her life and maybe, if they're lucky, even give some other jade in the future more freedom than daraya could even imagine

(and tbh if i said i’d never, in my worst years, debated burning a building down with. intentions. i’d be lying)

4. Wanshi

wwwaaannnsssshhhiiiiiii

tbh! kind of similar to daraya!! i see a lot of my younger self in wanshi, right down to the warrior cats rp and the sensation of knowing that many of the people in your life are lying to you if only bcus they think you don’t realize what they’re doing and chasing a sense of community through fanfic and cons bcus the people in your mandatory social circle aren’t willing to engage you at a level that actually makes you happy or even at all. even some of her face with death and having to come to terms with things the adults in your life wouldn’t necessarily think were appropriate for your age simply bcus of the way life takes you (granted, i was a little older than she is when i started doing con + online stuff, but you get the idea)

and just like, her route? it’s 1. fantastic 2. it’s one of the only times the reader is like... nurturing, toward one of the younger trolls, if that makes sense? they go into the entire route with wanshi’s safety and happiness in mind, and when the former has to take precedence over the latter they still try to make her happy to soften the blow, specifically by inviting her to set the rules of engagement so that it’s actually something she enjoys! and in the bad ending you literally. you know. die for her. and that's not something you get with the other younger trolls? like, amisia can both take care of herself and naturally takes command of the situation, and tirona i mostly just feel bad for more than anything, and the twins... a lot happens vis a vis the twins. karako i Also want to take care of but that’s mostly bcus he’s v small and you don’t take care of him the same way you do for wanshi in her route

5. Bronya

look............ i love bronya jkfldsaf

she’s also just!! she’s trying!! and she’s trying her best!! and it’s in a different way from tyzias but it’s just as aahhhhhh. she wants to help, in her own way, and she’s probably scoured every book, file, and teal at some point to make sure her grubs and her jades are safe! she’s not even the oldest jade in their cloister, she just wants them all to be okay and make it home and learn the ways of their role so that they don’t get culled (and aren’t jackasses, considering how she talks to lanque in his route, but his route is <_<). and tbh considering the amount of shit they give her for it, she seems to allow the other jades to sneak out more than you’d expect considering her personality in her + elwurd’s routes lmao

and the fact that she runs the nursery just has me ;u; every time i think about it. like, she’s not required and probably not even supposed to do that, and she even mentions that she does it knowing that some of the grubs may still get sick or die during their trials, but it means so much to her that they get a second chance that she’s willing to make a not-technically-illegal nursery to give them that chance bcus who else? who else will? i’d like to think that nursery was still there, was maybe even an idea that stretched across alternia, all the way to the end.

and wow uh!!! that was long jfklda these are a little more about why i like the character, but i think that’s just bcus their routes play such a big part in that!!

my runner-ups, if you were wondering, were karako, stelsa, polypa, and boldir’s lol. i also like marsti as a character but her route gives me too much second-hand embarrassment jfdklasf

thank you so much, my friend!! i hope whoever reads this likes my extremely long ramble jfkldsafkl

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 4/23/21: MORTAL KOMBAT, DEMON SLAYER, TOGETHER TOGETHER, STREET GANG, SISTERS WITH TRANSISTORS

Ugh. Trying to maintain this column as a weekly entity during the final few weeks of the longest Oscar season ever has been really hard, and I’m not sure that will change once the Oscars are over either, because I look at the number of movies being released both theatrically and streaming over the next few weeks, and it makes my head hurt. Sorry for the kvetching, it just is what it is.

There are two big theatrical releases this weekend, Warner Bros’ MORTAL KOMBAT and DEMON SLAYER THE MOVIE: MUGEN TRAIN from FUNImation Entertainment, both which have already been released internationally. I also probably won’t be able to watch or review either before this column gets posted.

Mortal Kombat seems like the easiest sell being that it’s based on the popular Midway Games video game franchise introduced in the early ‘90s that led to a series of films, books, comics and you name it. It was a very popular fighting game that had over a dozen iterations including one in which MK characters fought against DC superheroes.

The very first Mortal Kombat movies opened in 1995, right amidst MK-mania, and it was directed by one Paul W.S. Anderson, his very first movie in a long line of video game-related movies, including a number of Resident Evil and the recent Monster Hunter. There are a lot of people who love those games, and yes, even people who love that and other movies, but to others, who may have been too old to get into the games when they came out, the whole thing about different fighters fighting each other just looks kind of studio. Even though I’m interested to see what producer James Wan brings to this reboot, I just don’t have much interest otherwise.

Unfortunately, and this is pretty daunting, Warner Bros. wasn’t sending out screeners to critics until Wednesday with a review embargo for Thursday night at 7pm, which is never a good sign, and yet, it continues Warner Bros. continuing the trend of being one of the only studios that screeners EVERY movie to film critics rather than just making them pay to see it on Thursday night or Friday. I hope to watch it and maybe add something Thursday night, time-permitting. Not sure you heard but the Oscars are Sunday.

As far as box office, Mortal Kombat opens on Friday but also premieres on HBO Max, and I’m not sure there will be as much urge to see MK on the largest screen possible, as there was with Godzilla vs. Kong. Because of that, I think the cap for this one over the three-day weekend is about $10 million but not much more and probably more frontloaded to Friday than we’ve seen in some time.

Mini-Review: As you can imagine from my statement above, I don’t hold the Mortal Kombat games or other iterations in any particular high esteem, so I’m basically jumping into this movie, directed by Simon McQuoid, just as a movie and not necessarily as a video game movie.

It starts off promising enough like a samurai movie with a flashback where we watch Hiroyuki Sanada’s hero sees his wife and son be killed by Joe Taslim’s character that will later become Sub-Zero. The general principle seems to be that there’s a world where people from other worlds fight each other to gain complete control. The hero is Lewis Tan’s MMA fighter Cole Young, presumably a popular character from the game? He is also soon attacked by Sub-Zero presumably because he’s marked with a dragon tattoo that deems him a champion of these fights, but he needs to find someone named Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) to help him get to the “Mortal Kombat.” At the same time, he meets the movie’s most entertaining character, Kane,

played by Australian actor Josh Lawson, mainly because he swears constantly and cracks wise -- he’s a bit like Wolverine, actually, and he’s actually the best part of the movie.

Otherwise, everyone and everything is always so deadly serious that everyone else we meet just doesn’t have much impact, because frankly, none of these names or characters mean jack shit to me. Sure, some of them sound vaguely familiar but I was more interested in the great Asian actors who turn up including Tadanobu Asano’s Lord Raiden, who is gonna claim Earth if its champions lose at Mortal Kombat. And Sub-Zero basically just shows up and tries to kill everyone.

As with far too many action movies, the action itself is great, the writing and acting not so much.

As it goes along, things become more epic and fantasy-driven but that also makes the dialogue seem even worse. Similarly, the fight choreography is pretty great, but the movie still leans way too heavily on visual FX to keep it more interesting for anyone not too interested in MMA… like myself. When all else fails, they can show off Sub-Zero’s cool ice powers every chance possible as well as the other’s powers, but some of them (like Lord Raiden) just made me think of this as a rip-off of the great Big Trouble in Little China.

The thing is I’m not a fan of the video game nor of MMA, so Mortal Kombat really doesn’t have much to offer me. The whole thing just seems very silly, just like almost everything from the ‘90s. (How’s THAT for a bad take?)

That said, I thought the final battle was great, and I enjoyed some of the gorier aspects of the fights, too, and it all leads to my favorite part, which is the three-way fight between Cole, Sub-Zero, and… actually I’m not sure if it’s a spoiler or not, but it’s a pretty cool fight that almost makes up for some of the dumber characters introduced earlier on. (LIke that guy with four arms. I know he’s a character in the games, but I didn’t even care enough to look up his name.)

It’s perfectly fine that they decided to go Rated R with the movie since most of the nostalgia for this movie and franchise will be towards older guys, but at times, the CG blood is so hinky it feels like the decision to go R-rated was made well after it was filmed.

Even though I went in with the lowest of expectations, I still found most of Mortal Kombat kinda trite and boring, maybe something I’d appreciate more as a teenager but not so much as a grown adult. But what do you expect for a movie based on a video game that’s just a bunch of “cool fights”?

Rating: 5.5/10

And yet, Demon Slayer could be the surprise breakout of the weekend, considering the theatrical success FUNimation has had with theatrical releases of the My Hero Academia movies into theaters in 2018 and 2020, and the hugely successful Dragon Ball Super: Brolly, which grossed $31 million domestically after a surprise $20.2 million in its first five days in roughly 1,200 movies. In fact, it made $7 million its opening Wednesday in January 2019, and FUNimation is hoping that Demon Slayer will have a similar success by opening it for a single day (Thursday) in IMAX theaters before Mortal Kombat takes over on Friday.

Demon Slayer has already grossed $383.7 million internationally compared to Mortal Kombat’s $10.7 million, and you cannot ignore the huge popularity that anime has seen over the past few decades. In fact, a bunch of screenings for Demon Slayer in NYC have already sold out, although you have to bear in mind that these are 25% capacity theaters. Even so, I still think this can make $4 to 5 million on Thursday and another $7 to 8 million over the weekend, depending on the number of theaters. Yes, it will be quite frontloaded, and I’m not sure what the cap is on theaters and how that will affect how it does over the weekend, but expect a big Thursday and a more moderate weekend but one that might give both Mortal Kombat and Godzilla vs. Kong a run for the top of the box office.

Also hitting theaters before streaming on Netflix (on April 30) is THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES, the new animated movie produced by Chris Miller and Philip Lord, following their Oscar win for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. It’s a little weird to open a new animated movies, presumably in select theaters, when such a hugely anticipated animated movie like Demon Slayer is opening, but Netflix won’t

The movie itself is directed by Michael Rianda and Jeff Rowe, and it involves a family named the Mitchells, whose eldest daughter Katie (voiced by Abbi Jacobson) is leaving home for college, so her father (voiced by Danny McBride) decides that he’s going to drive her there and use it as the chance for a cross-country family trip. Meanwhile, it’s set up how the world becomes overrun with robots when a tech giant creates a new personal assistant.

I wasn’t sure whether I’d like this even though I’m generally a fan of all of Lord/Miller’s animated movies including both Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movies. It took me a little time to get into the family and the general premise. In some ways it reminded me of Edgar Wright’s The World’s End where it’s trying to merge these two disparate genres, but when they actually merge, it just doesn’t work as well as it may have seemed on paper. That worry is soon expunged, because Rianda finds ways to integrate the two ideas over time.

On the trip, the Mitchells run into their perfect family neighbors, the Poseys -- voiced by Krissy Teigen, John Legend and Charlyne Yi -- and you’d think they might be a bigger part of the movie then they actually are. I’m not sure I would have liked doing the family-vs.-family thing so soon after last year’s Croods movie, but I did love the dynamics of the Mitchells being a very relatable imperfect family with Danny McBride being particularly great voicing the family patriarch. It even has a really touching Pixar’s Up moment of Katie’s father watching old home movies of them together when she was younger.

In general, the filmmakers have assembled a pretty amazing voice cast that includes Conan O’Brien, Olivia Colman, Fred Armisen and Beck Bennett. Actually the weirdest voice choice is Katie’s younger brother Aaron, voiced by Rianda himself, and it sounds like a strange older man trying to be a kid, so it doesn’t work as well as others.

What I genuinely liked about Mitchells vs. the Machines is that it doesn’t go out of its way to talk down to overly sensitive kiddies or skimp on the action while also including elements that parents will enjoy as well, and to me, that’s the ideal of a family film.

While some might feel that The Mitchells vs. the Machines is fairly standard animated fare, it ends up being a fun cross between National Lampoon’s Vacation (cleaned up for the kiddies) with Will Smith’s I, Robot, actually, and yet, it somehow does work. It’s a shame that it’s really not getting a theatrical release except to be awards-eligible.

Next, we have two really great movies I saw at Sundance this year and really enjoyed immensely…

So as I mentioned, I first saw Nikole Beckwith’s TOGETHER TOGETHER (Bleecker Street), starring Ed Helms and Patti Harrison, at Sundance, and it was one of my favorite movies there with Helms playing a middle-aged single guy named Matt, who hires the much-younger Anna (Harrison) to be his surrogate, because he wants a baby. It’s a tough relationship thrown together due to each of their respective necessities.

Part of what drives the movie is how different Matt and Anna are, him being quite inappropriate with his suggestions and requests but not really having a working knowledge of female anatomy, pregnancy, delivery etc, but being really eager to raise a child and having the money that Anna clearly does not.

While I was familiar with Helms from The Office, The Hangover, etc. I really didn’t know Patti Harrison at all. Apparently, she’s a stand-up comic who hasn’t done a ton of acting, comedic or otherwise. That’s pretty amazing when you watch this movie and see her dry sardonic wit playing well against Helms’ generally lovable doofus. What I also didn’t realize and frankly, I don’t really see this as something even worth mentioning, is that she’s a trans woman playing a clearly CIS part, and she kills it. I certainly wouldn’t have known nor did it really affect my enjoyment of the movie, yet it still seems like such a brave statement on the part of the director and Harrison herself. The thing is that Harrison isn't just a terrific actress in her own right, but she brings out aspects of Helms that I never thought I would ever possibly see. (If it isn't obvious, I'm not the biggest fan of Helms.)

The movie has a great sense of humor, as it gets the most out of this awkward duo and then throws so many great supporting actors into the cast around them that it’s almost impossible not to enjoy the laughs. There’s the testy Sonogram tech, played by Sufe Bradshaw from Veep, who tries to maintain her composure and bite her tongue, but you can tell she’s having none of it. Others who show up, including Tig Notero, Norah Dunn and Fred Melamed. Just when you least expect it, Anna Conkle from Pen15, shows up as one of those delivery gurus that make the two of them feel even more awkward.

What’s nice is that this never turns into the typical meet cute rom-com that some might be expecting, as Beckwith’s film is more about friendship and companionship and being there for another, and the lack of that romantic spark even as chemistry develops between them is what makes this film so enjoyably unique. Beckwith’s sense of humor combined with her dynamic duo stars makes Together Together the best comedy about pregnancy probably since Knocked Up.

Another great Sundance movie and actually one of my two favorite recent documentaries AND one of the best movies I’ve seen this year is… you know what? I haven’t done this for a while so this is this week’s “CHOSEN ONE”!! (Fanfare)

(Photo courtesy: Robert Fuhring/Courtesy Sesame Workshop)

Marilyn (Mad Hot Ballroom) Agrilo’s STREET GANG: HOW WE GOT TO SESAME STREET (Screen Media/HBO Documentaries) is a fantastic doc about the long-running and popular PBS kids show that’s every bit as good as Morgan Neville’s Mr. Rogers doc, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Which was robbed of an Oscar nomination a few years back.

Let me make something clear on the day I’m writing this, April 21, 2021, that this is my favorite movie of the year, the only one I’ve already given a 10/10, and the end of the year might come around, and I have a feeling it will still be my #1.

You see, I was raised a Sesame Street kid. It’s not like I didn’t read or play outside or not get the attention of my parents or family, but there was so much of my happy, young life that I could attribute to my time watching Sesame Street, and when you watch Marily Agrilo’s amazing doc, it all comes rushing back. There is stuff in this movie that I haven’t seen in maybe 50 years but that I clearly remember laughing at, and there’s stuff that got into the mind of a young Ed that influenced my love of humor and music and just outright insanity. Sure, I loved The Muppet Show, too, but it was a different experience, so to watch a movie about the show with all sorts of stuff I had never seen or knew, that’s what makes Street Gang such a brilliant documentary, and easily one of the best we’ll see this year. Of that I have no doubt.

From the very origins of the show with Joan Cooney developing a show that will be entertaining and educational to the kids being plopped down in front of the TV in the ‘60s and ‘70s, so they can learn something, it’s just 1:46 of straight-up wonderment.

Besides getting to see a lot of the beloved actors/characters from the show and many of the surviving players like Carol Spinney aka Big Bird/Oscar, you can see how this show tried to create something that wasn’t just constantly advertising to young minds.

More than anything, the show is a love letter to the bromance between Jim Henson and Frank Oz, and you get to see so many of their bits and outtakes that make their Muppets like Burt and Ernie and Grover and, of course, Kermit, so beloved by kids that even cynical adults like myself would revert childhood just thinking about them. Then on top of that there’s the wonderful music and songs of Christopher Cerf and Joe Raposo and others, songs that would permeate the mainstream populace and be remembered for decades.

The movie is just a tribute to the joy of childhood and learning to love and sing and dance and just have fun and not worry about the world. I’m not sure if kids these days have anything like that.

It also gets quite sad, and I’m not embarrassed to say that in the sequence that covers the death of Mr. Hooper, I was outright bawling, and a few minutes later, when Jim Henson dies in 1990, I completely lost it. That’s how much this show meant to me and to so many people over the decades, and Brava to Ms. Agrilo for creating just the perfect document to everything that Sesame Street brought to so many people’s lives. This is easily the best documentary this year, and woe be to any Academy that doesn’t remember it at year’s end.

The other fantastic doc out this week, though I actually got to see it last year, is Lisa Rovner’s SISTERS WITH TRANSISTORS (Metrograph Pictures), which will play at the Metrograph, both on demand and part of its Digital Live Screenings (available to join for just $5 a month!). This is an endlessly fascinating doc that looks at the women of electronic music and the early days of synthesizers and synthesis and some of the female pioneers. It’s narrated by Laurie Anderson, which couldn’t be the more perfect combination.

The movie covers the likes of Suzanne Cianni; Forbidden Planet composers Louis and Bebe Barron, who created the first all-electronic score for that movie; the amazing Wendy Carlos, who electronically scored one of my favorite movies of all time, Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange; Delia Derbyshire, who was also the subject of Caroline Catz’s short, Delia Derbyshire: The Myths and Legendary Tapes, which tragically, I missed when it premiered at the SXSW Film Festival in March. Derbyshire was also famous for creating the iconic theme to “Doctor Who” while working at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop in the '60s. Others who appear in the movie, either via archival footage or more recent interviews are Pauline Oliveros and Laurie Spiegel, who I was less familiar with.

The point is that as someone who was a fantastic for electronic music and synthesizers from a very early age and for someone who feels he’s very familiar with all angles of music, I learned a lot from watching Rovner’s film, and I enjoyed it just as much a second time, because the footage assembled proves what amazing work these women were doing and rarely if ever getting the credit for what they brought to electronic music, something that still resonates with the kids today who love things like EDM.

An endlessly fascinating film with so much great music and footage, Sisters with Transistors can be watched exclusively through the Metrograph’s Live Screening series, so don’t miss it!

Hitting Shudder this week is Chris Baugh’s BOYS FROM COUNTY HELL (Shudder), which I didn’t get a chance to watch before writing this week’s column, but Shudder in general has been knocking it out of the park with the amazing horror movies it’s been releasing on a weekly basis. This one involves a quarelling father and son on a road who must survive the night when they awaken an ancient Irish vampire.

Also hitting theaters and streamers and digital this week:

THE MARIJUANA CONSPIRACY (Samuel Goldwyn Films)

MY WONDERFUL WANDA (Zeitgeist Films)

WET SEASON (Strand Releasing)

CRESTONE (Utopia)

VANQUISH (Lionsgate)

BLOODTHIRSTY (Brainstorm)

SASQUATCH (Hulu)

SHADOW AND BONE (Netflix)

And that wraps up this week. Next week? No idea… I know there’s stuff coming out but I probably won’t think about it until after THE OSCARS!!!! On Sunday.

[animalpetcel]

Ideal RHATO

Okay, so I’ve done some thinking. While Red Hood and the Outlaws was an interesting concept; give Jason friends and a team of his own, get him out of the Batfam Shadow, it’s been bogged down by L*bdell spotty writing and questionable Editorial decisions. So I’ve taken the time to think of what I would personally want the Outlaws to be.

First of all, I don’t believe that Jason would be better of if he remained solo. While he does deserve a good solo run other than UtH, the idea of permanently sequestering from creating meaningful, recurring relationships with other heroes is just repulsive to me. He should be allowed to have friends and people to talk to outside of the Batfamily guys, there’s only so many adventures he can have by himself before they all start sounding the same. You could even have him gaining friends as part of his character development.

Okay! So let’s begin

In my version, the Outlaws would be a more obvious antihero team. They take cases by those who feel that regular heroes can’t help them, that they won’t go far enough to achieve justice. The Outlaws won’t kill often, but it would usually be awful criminals like drug dealers, traffickers or those in charge, but if they don’t kill, they won’t be above dissing out harsh, lasting punishments to those who cross them. There could be the possibility of them being a team looking for redemption, but I’ve never really thought about them going in that direction.

Btw: This will be a hard reboot, everything from New52 to Rebirth regarding RHATO will be completely retconned, because Lobdell wrote almost all of them and despite what people want to believe most of it is bad save for some barely passable moments

Outlaw Members

Jason Todd

Can’t have the Outlaws without their infamous leader. Like I said above, I believe that having his own team can be a good thing for Jason, he can establish a history disconnected from his history with Bruce and actually start to move on. I’d imagine him being a reluctant leader, preferring to work alone but admitting that having people to rely on has made his mission a lot easier. He’s a very driven and calculated person, and after reading Arkham Knight Genesis, I have no doubt in his leadership skills and his ability to turn a ragtag group of antiheroes into a team to be reckoned with.

Idk if I’d keep his All-Caste stuff. I know that it was probably created to give his backstory something that stands out, since he’s the third Batfam member to have the League of Assassins in his backstory and isn’t the only one that’s died before, but he barely uses the All-blades or brings up the All-Caste to the point were you can omit it and don’t really have to do that much to replace it. At this point, I’d accept Talia making him train with Brother Blood over the All-Caste.

I’d probably say that the Lazurus pit Talia used to bring him back was kinda special, giving him a minor healing factor and increasing his strength, idk, something small.

Eddie Bloomberg

(I hate Tom King and this dialogue too but I wanted a recent image of him)

Did you know that unlike Roy Harper, Eddie was actually Jason’s best friend pre-reboot? Most people don’t because DC doesn’t care about using pre-established canon or developing its less popular heroes! 🙃

Okay, I used to be a huge fan of Jason and Roy’s friendship in New52 RHATO, but then I learned that Roy was originally Dick’s friends, that his personality was dumbed down for New52, Roy actually hates mercenaries and would never become one, they only used Roy because he was more popular and that most Titan/Roy friends actually hate his New52 counterpart and friendship with Jason. While I believe that Roy and be both friendship with Dick AND Jason (but in different ways. Dick is more of a close friend while he and Jason should have a more big brother kind of relationship), I have to admit that DC dropped the ball here, and it would be easier to just scrap everything instead of trying to make it work.

Eddie’s personality is actually quite similar to New52 Roy’s, and he and Jason already have unexplored history, so switching Roy with him won’t mess anything too much.

And now, I hear you ask “Ani, what about the Outlaw’s being an antihero group? Wouldn’t that make Eddie stand out?”, and I will reply “Don’t worry, I have a plan!”

Back when Eddie first got his powers, Neron, the king of hell at the time (?) wanted Eddie to be his protege, but Eddie refuses. But what if Neron was more forceful? Eddie could be offered, now powerless again because of the events of TT (but his death is retconned to just getting badly injured), to become Neron’s protege once again. With nothing left to lose (his relationship with Blue Devil is still in the fritz, Teen Titans no longer seem to give a damn and Rose & Jaime is still off doing their own things), he takes it. I guess he’s probably look different with more of Neron’s power coursing through his veins, but the point is that Outlaws become a “Fall from grace” for him. He’s trying to still be a hero, but as Neron’s influence continues to grow, his ability to tell right from wrong gets more and more clouded.

He’s the one to approach Jason with the idea of being a team, wanting to relive the “Good Ol’ Days” when they were younger and less bogged down with personal trauma. While Jason is reluctant, he admits that since being self-exiled from the Batfamily that it’s been kinda lonely, so he agrees, but only short-term. Eddie then segways into the next member of their burgeoning group–

Rose Wilson

While pre-reboot, Rose and Jason did not have the friendliest interactions, with her holding a blade to her throat while his brothers threatened him with a crime he never committed. Post-reboot, he and Rose seem to have a more “friendlier” relationship, but the Wilson family have been rebooted at least theee times in both New52 and Rebirth, so who knows if they even still know each other now,

Rose and Eddie were very close friends in Teen Titans, and I think that getting Rose away from the madness of her family and father could be good for her character.

Eddie manages to convince her to join the “Outlaws”, but like Jason, she goes into it thinking that it’ll be a one-time thing. She cares a lot about Eddie, and sticks with the team to make sure that he’s doing alright. She probably could have an arc were Nightwing confronts her on her work in the Outlaws (since the other heroes see them as white-hat mercenaries) since he mentored her in being a hero, so it could be about dealing with what other people expect of her.

Essence

While L*bdell might be basically a shit writer, he does create interesting concepts. With a better writer, Essence could be a very interesting character, watching from the shadows and judging whether or not the Outlaws are actually “good” people, before she eventually starts taking a more active role in helping them punish criminals.

While she would at first interact solely with Jason, asking him questions about his deeds and ordering him in what direction she feels is best, she would eventually introduce herself to the rest of the group. I think she’d get along best with Komand’r, while the others might test her absolutism, Black-And-White morality a bit.

Rankorr (Jack Moore)

I know that there’s some people who want Guy Gardner to be Jason’s lantern, but what about a lantern who is close to Jason in age and actually fits the Outlaw theme?

Jack Moore is a Red Lantern, not only a Red Lantern, but the first human lantern who is also the first Red Lantern to be capable of creating constructs. He struggles with his rage, and deep down, he wants to enjoy a normal life on earth.

Maybe after Red Lantern (retconning Lobo or if not, he’s brought back using Red Lantern Blood Magic), he decides that the RL’s are a bit too cult-like for him and tries to lay low on Earth, finishing his literature degree and opening up a small bookstore somewhere in London. He’s close with Guy, but still can’t/refuses to let go of his rage, so Jack is still a RL

Of course, keeping his rage at bay is hard work, and after witnessing police brutality one more time, he loses control.

The Outlaws were hired by the family of the victim to make the officers see justice, but after seeing Jack work, they realize that this might be their easiest case yet.

Afterwards, Jack tries to downplay the entire thing (before resorting to threats when the Outlaws won’t listen), but Jason eventually convinced him that his talents would be wasted just being a civilian (and that his rage will only get worse if he continues to just let it boil without an “outlet”) so he joins the team

Blackfire

I’ve read Komand’r’s backstory, I know how bad it looks. However, in a medium where retcons and reimaginings are features instead of bugs (and can benefit a character’s story if done right), I really think it could be possible to make her work.

After reading New52 RHATO, I began thinking that it could be so much better if not only Eddie took Roy’s spot, but also if Komand’r took Starfire’s, since I feel like she had more potential beyond “Kori’s evil disabled sister”, “War Criminal” and “Struggling queen of Tamaran”

First, I’d change her pre-reboot backstory so instead of taking over the Gordanians, she is instead captured by them after Starfire frees her from the Psions (Komand’r still hates her sister and refuses to follow her). Through her clever mind and manipulations, she manages to earn favor with Lord Damyn, feigning romantic interest. Of course, given Komand’r’s nature, she ends up killing and replacing him, but her rule doesn’t go over well and she is again recaptured, but this time she’s brought to Earth.

Realizing that she’s now trapped on the planet whete her sister has become a successful and popular hero, Komand’r is at first angry, and then conspires to free herself and take revenge on her sister (who she still blames for everything despite that not being the case).

The Outlaws bust the alien trafficking ring, and Komand’r, seeing her chance, decides to show off and make nice with them to eventually use them for her revenge.

She finds Eddie and Rankorr easy to manipulate, but she bumps Heads with Jason whenever she tries to take his role as leader away from him and finds Rose’s mind to be “weak”. Overtime however, she bonds with Jason over feeling inferior to their siblings, realizes that her anger shares Rankorr’s intensity, and grows a genuine friendship with Rose and Eddie

Oh yeah, and maybe she tries to make things right with Kori

Artemis Grace

What would the Outlaws be without the greatest Amazon to have ever lived? Nothing, that’s for sure.

While I don’t agree with Jaytemis (at least not yet), I have to admit that Jason would be a fool not to like her. She’s a cool, confident character with a lot of interesting lore behind her.

Her joining will probably be pretty close to canon. The Outlaws are tasked with going after Black Mask, and Jason decides to go undercover, as the Red Hood still has his fingers in various criminal pies. While investigating, he runs into Artemis, who is looking for the Bow of Ra, and rest is history.

I feel like she’ll get along really well with Rose and Komand’r and maybe she’ll date one. She’ll definitely view Eddie a bit dismissively, and she isn’t a huge fan of demons. Rankorr would probably come off as stuck up to her.

Bizarro

Anyone who knows me will know that I’m am not a huge fan of Bizarro clones. I consider them to be an overused concept (that sometimes feels as if it relies on gene superiority, but idk if I’ll ever fully process my dislike for them), and the fact that as the time I’m writing this, there are at least four currently in continuity does not enamor me with the concept more.

However, after re-reading RHATO a few times, I’ll admit that the Outlaws’ Bizarro has grown on me. Since he already kinda has a unique name (Bizz), all I think he needs is a more visually distinct costume (doesn’t even have to directly reference Superman, but I can go 50/50 on the backwards “S”)

The Outlaws getting Bizz is exactly the same as canon. I’d imagine that he and Eddie would be as close as brothers. While Rankorr might find Bizz’s way of thinking and speaking to be annoying, I’d think that Rankorr will eventually warm up to him and probably teach him how to read and help Artemis teach him. Komand’r and Rose will probably be less receptive to him, but who knows

August Heart

I’m a Godspeed fan first and human second, we’ve been knew.

In all seriousness, Godspeed is the perfect Rebirth era character for RHATO and the fact that he and Jason still haven’t met is why DC doesn’t have any rights.

Okay okay, but he’s honestly a perfect fit. Like Jason, he also kills when dealing with crimes, but he isn’t so good and knowing who’s guilty and who isn’t just yet.

This will probably be after Death of the Speedforce, with August finally making things right with Barry, but still not forgiving himself for everything that happened. Deciding to self-exile himself rather than go back to Iron Heights, August travels, trying to figure out what do to do next, trying to follow Barry’s rules (which he finds to be very wishy-washy) to the best of his ability.

Eventually, he learns that Black Hole is still running, and against his better instincts, he goes after them.

His trail of lightning destruction catches the eye of the Outlaws.

Barry, realizing that his best-friend might need someone who can actually be there all the time to help reign him in, Barry goes to the Outlaws and asks them if they can help him once they catch up to him

They do in the form of offering a spot on the team.

August is very self-assured (even if it is hiding a softer, more emotional center), but has proven to be able to work with others, so I can see the other Outlaws coming to like him. They might find him a little cocky/early to jump the gun, but still a trusted and valued member of the team.

Since every Robin has their own flash, it only makes sense to finally give Jason (and have them date) a speedster of his own, and it should be someone who fits his morals, and who else could Then the speedster fans literally call “The Red Hood of the Flashfam”?

Final Thoughts

Other possible members I would consider/accept are

Eradicator Superman

Koryak

Vanessa Kapatelis/Silver Swan lll

Simon Amal (Crux)

Danny Chase

Clone!Roy Harper

Connor Hawke

Orm Marvius

Man O’ War

Lagoon Boy

Scarlet

Zachary Zatara

Thomas Merlyn

Ragman

Bleez

Walter West

Even with a cast as sizable as the one I just listed, with a good enough writer, there could still a few minor side characters. I would personally want the them to be

Scarlet: Jason’s former sidekick. She could be either a civilian who he talks to get experience some normalcy or the leader of her own version of the Outlaws made of up the Generation Outlaws we meet in RHATO #37-40. Either way, it could contrast with Bruce and the way he (mis)treats his own sidekicks and family

Zachary Zatara: Eddie’s old friend who helped him get his devil powers. Zachary would definitely be worried over Eddie once again accepting Neron’s power and will want to try to help. Whether he suceeds or not will depend if the writers want to go in that direction

Isabel Ardila: She’s a nothing character, but there’s a small chance that with a better writer, she might gain an interesting personality or an actual purpose in RHATO

Talia Al Ghul: before the reboot, Talia was Jason’s mentor figure and even gave him a cool dagger. It would be so cool if we can bring that back and erase Morrison’s problematic charactization of her. Maybe the dagger she gives Jason could be an All-Blade or smth. They’d definitely take a few cases from her however

Batfam, Titans and respective groups: it would have to happen eventually. It could lead to some interesting, angst filled conversations. And who knows, maybe they’ll actually make progress with their issues

But this post has gone on long enough. I just really wanted to talk a bit about my ideal Outlaws team that I will never see anywhere except for my dreams because mass media hates me and DC still thinks that Lobdell deserves to write Jason 😔😭

[voltron-next-gen-au]

Daniel (VLD Reboot)

Daniel is the newest member of my next-gen AU.^^ So to be clear, he is not a fan character. He does not belong to me. He is an actual canon character in the previous Voltron incarnation 'Voltron Force'. If you have never heard of Voltron Force before then I don't blame you. I don't know when it exactly came out but I know it was somewhere in the early to mid-2000s based on how the animation looked.XD I only got to like the third episode before I quit it because it was pretty boring. I'm probably biased because I love VLD (which is the newest Voltron series) and that was the first one I saw but still. I do admit though that I still love Lance from what I've seen in this series. No matter what he will always be my son. Also, there's a part in like the 2nd episode (I think it was the second episode) when Keith returns and Lance just looks at him with the most shit-eating grin and just immediately makes fun of Keith's mullet even when Lance in the scene before was almost killed. And when that scene happened my klance loving heart just went to the moon for a second. Until I remembered that Keith is married to Allura in that version... Oh well, a shipper can dream. Anyways, the reason that I decided to make a VLD version of Daniel was that I had watched a couple of Batman films where they introduced Batman's son, Damian Wayne, which then lead me to some Batfam comics with the Robins and I just got the urge to give Shiro and Keith their own little shit of younger brother that they have to look after and make sure doesn't do anything stupid. Just like how Dick has to handle Damian in the movies. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name: Daniel Akagane Nickname(s): Danny Age: 15-16 (In this ref sheet and when he was taken in.) 36 (Present time of the AU) Species: Human-Galra Hybrid Gender: Male Nationality: Unknown Parents: Unknown, Krolia (Adoptive Mother) Siblings: Takashi Shirogane (Adoptive Brother), Keith Kogane (Adoptive Brother)      Backstory -  Daniel was abandoned by his parents when he was just a baby. Due to this happening he never had any idea of who they were or what they looked like, all they left him with was his first name and that was about it. He hadn't even known that he was a hybrid yet, he just thought he looked odd. He grew up in an orphanage for the first few years of his life where he was physically and verbally abused by both the caretakers and the other children. The reason why he was targeted for this harassment was due to him being a hybrid and not a full-blooded Galra, making him seem weaker and a waste of space. By the time he was 9, he decided he had enough and ran away from the orphanage leaving him all on his own. He spent the next few years stealing food from little shops and hiding from law enforcement. Even when the Blade took control over the Empire after the war ended his life wasn't that much different from when he first became homeless. That is until he turned 15 years old. He was going around his normal day, stealing supplies and food he needed for the week, only this time was completely different from his usual outings. Daniel has gotten a few close calls the few times he had to run away from an angry shopkeeper or a sentry but in all those years he was never caught. This time however the shopkeeper was able to outsmart Danny by not only cornering him in an alley but by also destablizing him with a quick claw to the leg so he couldn't get away. But before Danny could recieve his punishment for stealing he was saved by one of the Blade leaders, Krolia, by knocking the shopkeeper out. Krolia gasped in shock when she realized the boy she had just saved was a hybrid. A human-galra hybrid no less (just like her son). She told the other Blade members that had been acompanying her on the patrol to take the uncosious guy into questioning while she went to go talk to the boy. But to her suprise when she looked back Danny was gone. After questioning the infuriated shopkeeper Krolia had learned that the boy had a reputation for stealing food and other items from almost everyone in that area. Which confirmed her susspision that not only was he an orphan but that he was most likely homeless as well. Now being completely worried for the boy she decided to search for him and to keep a close eye on him. Finally finding him a few days later trying to do his usual routine of pickpocketing and getting his hands on any food he could. He was obviously trying to be more careful due to the injury he had gotten in their last encounter. She just lingers around in the background for a while. After the first week of Krolia doing Danny got fed up with and finally confronted her about it. She told him that she saw a lot of potential in him and said that a boy his age shouldn't be living the way he is. She finally gives the offer to him of staying instead with the Blades and training under her. After considering the pros of this Daniel accepts her offer and becomes apart of the Blade. After a month of training under her, Krolia grows quite fond of him. Danny has also gains some respect of the older Blade. After a while Krolia decides to official adopt Daniel as her own son and to also introduce him to her other son and step-son. Their introduction to each other was odd to say the least. When Krolia learns that Danny has never been to Earth before she thought it would be a great idea for him to stay there with Shiro and Keith to live more normal and quiet life for a while. Keith becomes the main caretaker of Daniel on Earth with Shiro checking in because in Shiro's words it's Keith's turn to look after an emotionaly unstable, emo teenager now. Extras - Skills/Weapons - Due to him having to steal everything he needs to survive and evading sentries he gained a lot of agility skills over time. During his time at the orphanage, the caretakers provided many lessons in combat and weaponry so they can make more soldiers for the Galra empire. So he was even able to use and to progress those skills while running away after stealing from other Galra for resources and being able to defend himself if need be. During one of his escapades, he found a pair of mounted claws, realizing they could be of use to him he took them as well and they are now his main weapon of use. Relationships - He has a strong bond with Krolia. Being that she was the woman who took him he has a lot of respect for her. He mostly calls her by her first name but there have been some that he called her mom by accident. She's basically the first person to become a mother to him. His relationship with Keith is rocky at first. You put two people together who have similar stubborn, hotheaded personalites they are definitely gonna clash with each other. With Keith trying to keep Daniel under control and thinking he's a brat and Daniel thinking Keith is too overbearing and not taking him seriously. But after a while the two start get closer and realize that they do have a lot in common and how to deal with each other's flaws. They bicker and make fun of the other but it's from a better place now. Daniel's relationship with Shiro is very different from his relationship with Keith. From the start Danny was kind of awkward with Shiro. He just didn't really know how to act around. I mean Shiro looked like a tired, kind old man who had been through some shit. He didn't really want to make that worse. Shiro would him some spacedad talks when he was frustrated with something or got angry. Danny gets less and less uncomfortable with him as time goes on and starts seeing him as someone he can depend on. As his relationships with his nephews and niece... he will literally murder anyone who even thinks about harming a hair on their head. Like a good uncle should. Fun fact - Shiro was actually the one to give Daniel his last name. He wanted all three of them to keep the theme of -gane in their last names so he suggested Akagane. Daniel couldn't really say no so he just went along with it. (Get it? Cause their names mean Gold, Silver, and Bronze. Well... Akagane technically means copper but... same thing right? I think.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's pretty much all I have on him for now. Hope you guys enjoy this 3rd edition to the broganes.^^

[geek-gem]

Rampage 2 Monster Ideas Or Possibilities

Because this is something well I wanted to make a joke at first of how Davis would react in the situation I’ve thought of for a sequel to Rampage 2018. But over time I started to think more. Basically more details, and changes to my ideas. Spoilers from the 2018 film just in case.

Including I wanted to make this list of ideal monsters. Because the video games have a huge roster that a franchise can use for the games. Along with I wanted to write my own twist on them. Considering the direction the movie took with George, Ralph, and Lizzie. If your a fan of the games you might like these ideas. But give me your thoughts on these. Especially I intend to some how Ralph and Lizzie back. Because along with George are the main trio of the franchise.

This isn’t all for one movie. But again I’m just giving out ideas. In fact I decided to study and look into stuff. Mostly about wolves because I’ve thought more in depth about Ralph 2.0. Including looked up some stuff on Crocodiles, but mostly looked up stuff about wolves. Along with I looked on the Rampage wiki on some characters. Again give me your thoughts, this is all fan fiction. Especially it seems weird with the Ralph one.

1. Ralph or humorously called Ralph 2.0 by Harvey Russell. A 7 month old Grey Wolf taken in by the Wolf Watch UK. Named Ralph by a woman who works there after she found him as a pup laying next to his dead mother who was killed by poachers. Ever since then, even being a wild animal he’s looked towards the woman as sort of mother after his died.  

Actually considered a, “Sweetheart” despite his protective nature of the woman. Especially is rather good at protecting itself when aggressive or threatened. After being affected by the same pathogen some how that affected the other animals. Growing in size, and gaining certain abilities. But compared to the original Ralph in 2018, Ralph 2.0 while aggressive, seems to be less violent than the original. Mostly because of being taken care of by humans, and his relationship with the woman who rescued him. Especially he still retains his memories.

But growing in size and other symptoms have caused him to become scared, confused, and angry. Only listening to the woman who saved him, and eventually Davis as well. He’s in a weird way a giant dog. Yet he will become violent and attack who hurts the woman who nurtured him growing up.

Is able to fly like the original Ralph, and use the needles it grew on it’s back. 

Notes: Originally I wanted this new character this woman to be played by Karen Gillian, but decided Emilia Clarke. Especially I want a joke where Harvey calls her the, “Mother Of Wolves”. Including Ralph 2.0 has a relationship to this woman similar to Davis and George. But with the woman even calling Ralph that he’s kind of like her son. Along with this Ralph is supposedly the youngest of the trio. 

2. Lizzie or humorously called Lizzie 2.0 by Harvey Russell as well. Including actually named Lizzie by Davis. A 5 year old American Crocodile that resides in the San Diego Wild Life Sanctuary, that Davis saved as well. While she doesn’t mind Davis at all. She would rather be left alone. While the American Crocodile may not be as aggressive as other species, Lizzie can be aggressive if agitated.

Affected by the pathogen that made it’s way to the sanctuary, she gained similar abilities like the original Lizzie. She’s the biggest of the three, able to breathe underwater, and has the tusks and more teeth. Especially in a similar situation as Ralph 2.0, confused, and some what scared, but angry as well.

Yet still even growing bigger, she still retained that loner behavior. Even though she’ll follow Davis because he’s the only one she can trust. Later during the film while still aggressive, realizes that her help is needed offers to help the other two against a bigger threat. Especially it’s to protect Davis from harm or any monsters threating to hurt him. Including can get very violent as well.

Notes: There’s this theme for the movie while it sounds ridiculous. Considering the situations with Ralph 2.0 and Lizzie 2.0, especially Ralph 2.0. Davis tries to convince George even if they are different species, and they may not get along. But Davis tells him that Ralph and Lizzie are not like the other two he faced. Along with the fact they are in the same situation they were in 2018. With Davis asking George to see them as like a younger brother and sister or friends, that they are part of his troop, his family, to protect them like they were one of his own. Over the film George understands and risks his life for the other two. Following this, the other two especially Ralph do the same.

Including have a cute scene of George petting Ralph 2.0 or something.

3: V.E.R.N. considered an abomination. A monster that absorbs radiation. Originally a uncomplete monster that was mixed with bat DNA and other animals before Claire was killed by George. But it was mainly top secret and but kept close to the Rampage project. Yet it was stolen by some sort of company who’s name when shortened was titled SCUM. They tried to complete it. But realized there was a reason it was never completed. It was too out of control, It couldn’t be controlled. Especially what’s more shocking and twisted.

The surprise came from the fact during the process of discovering what was in the blood of the abomination. Some how Claire Wyden’s blood was in it. The reveal was possibly one of the parts of DNA was human blood, which was Claire herself. As if VERN could of been a clone. But later revealed Claire wanted to make the ultimate weapon she could sell. But the results were too unstable. Which was possibly the reason why Claire didn’t bother continuing with it. Because it would of proved disastrous, worse than what happened with Project Rampage. While Claire was pleased with how that project went. Vern was something else. 

Including the name V.E.R.N. meant “Violently Enraged Radioactive Nemesis”.

A angry and diabolical monster, a creature that’s very feral and seems to enjoy what it’s doing. It’s as VERN if she was a clone of Claire, this would of been her after she had been killed. Angry after everything that happened. Especially Vern actually being intelligent and understanding what humans can say. That human blood was used to make it more smarter, a terrible choice indeed. Learning of the original Claire’s death, realizing they were almost the same.

Vern is the embodiment of animalistic evil. If Claire was even more unleashed in her wrong doing, proud of her work, and willing to kill anyone to get in her way. It was almost like the original Claire came back from the dead but more worse, as a giant monster. Including with her size and power, she’s a challenge for any monster.

Notes: I kind of went too far with Vern. Because Vern didn’t have more personal info. Especially last year I thought of this idea of I would of liked it if Claire had become this Bat like creature like Vern. As if this final boss so she get her ass kicked by George. Honestly Claire’s fate was well deserved. Including I understand why they didn’t take the human turning into the monster direction.

But yeah I took the route that Vern is some how Claire 2.0. But as some sort of monstrous clone mixed with a lot of animal DNA. Including as a callback Vern is female in Total Destruction. I know Claire isn’t a very good villain, or whatever she was an asshole. I guess I wanted to make a more in depth monster.

I wanted to make the, “King Ghidorah” and I thought now, “Black Hat(From Villainous)” of Rampage. Even though Vern didn’t have like this huge role in the games. But I decided to add more depth to the character. You can be critical of me if you want.

4. Myukus, a one eyed alien monster. For many years has been kept at Area 51 for many decades ever since the 1950′s. Been kept asleep and experimented on. Now with his alien superiors returning to invade the Earth. He is released by them. Angered by the American government capturing him, and keeping his on Earth for many decades. He decides to take vengeance on Earth, by destroying everything he possibly can, while aiding the aliens who freed him.

Originally a monster created by the aliens to take over the Earth. But crashing down towards the Earth weakened him and put him into a coma. Including the American government made sure he couldn’t wake up. Which fueled Myukus with rage even more. Now free, he can do what he was made for again, now with his people.

Notes: I still feel I wanna do the aliens storyline first but I liked what I did with Vern. No wait Vern came first but you can do a trilogy with so many monsters and other shit man.

5: Cal, a giant squid, born in the Florida Keys in what was considered the safest reef in the world. Transformed by massive amounts of the pathogen on the Athena-1. At first he was a small squid now, but now he’s a massive and angry squid, able to take down boats, eat people, and doing much more damage. Literally a horror underwater come to life. 

Including to make it worse, he is able to breathe air for an hour. But still needing to breathe underwater. Making him a threat not to be messed with.

Notes: Yes I’m keeping the end with the squid canon because that was amazing.

6: Larry, a large rat. Including funny enough, the same rat Harvey got from Brett Wyden. Some how the rat got into contact with the pathogen, making it grow larger and more aggressive. Especially with more time, larger than the rat on the Athena-1.

But what’s rather strange about Larry, he has a huge fondness for Harvey. Honestly a good thing. After getting the rat back from the solider later. He took care of the rat as his own. Especially Larry is mainly a annoyance rather than dangerous. 

Yet he can still fight as he’s gotten bigger near George’s size.

Notes: It’s not Curtis but found out from Brad Peyton if there was a sequel, he’ll use that name. So I decided to do just that. :)

7: Ruby, a giant lobster, it’s strangely funny in a way. How does something like a lobster that’s very small, get so big? In a similar situation to Cal, tons of the pathogen got in the water, and she got a huge dose of it. Able to snap metal with her claws, and also pretty strong for a creature like her.

She’s a big nasty bugger that gets pissed real easily if angered. 

Notes: I weirdly wanna see a giant mutated lobster, it be amazing looking to me personally.

8: Boris, a giant rhino, originally a Africian Rhinoceros, again affected by the pathogen. Becoming very large and hostile. Yet after being captured by the government and Davis trying to help. He’s gotten less aggressive over time. But still he’ll get pissed if someone attacks him, and he’ll use his giant body and horns to kill any human or monster. Basically a giant batting ram.

Notes: Not much on Boris, I’ll have him more chill when shit is doesn’t need to be done.

I wrote a lot I apologize, but for anyone interested in ideas for a sequels. We can talk and I hope you enjoy reading this. Again and I’m sorry that I keep repeating this, I want a sequel to Rampage 2018, whatever direction they go with, I’ll probably be happy. But again these are ideas because they have a lot of material mainly monsters they can use. Along with the fact the Rampage games aren’t very lore based so they can do what they want or whatever. Just hope it’s an enjoyable movie like the first one too. 

[purpledragon57]

Dragon Reviews: Tokyo Mew Mew

I recently finished watching the magical girl anime Tokyo Mew Mew. I’ve been meaning to get into the habit of writing reviews for things I watch, and I had quite a lot to say about this show, so it seemed like a good place to start. Full review under the cut. Apologies in advance for any misspellings - the subs were incredibly inconsistent.

I’m going to break my thoughts up into categories, starting with the characters and ending with the overall plot and themes:

The Magical Girls

I like the overall visuals of the magical girls. The outfits, transformations and attacks are all good looking and mostly well animated. The outfits hit a good balance between uniformity and individuality, which I like.

Personally I didn’t enjoy the girls very much as a group? The best magical girl teams are fun to watch even when they’re just hanging out, but the Mew Mews’ dynamic just didn’t click with me. Most group interactions consisted of arguments and running jokes - they barely seem like friends half the time. This also made it hard to feel invested when things get emotional or during battles

On to the girls as individuals:

Ichigo was a perfectly fine magical girl protagonist. I liked the focus on how her magical girl and regular identities affect each other, and how this wove into her romance plot.

Minto was my favourite initially because I love Tsunderes, but ultimately she was more annoying than anything else and her arc wasn’t particularly interesting to me. She still has the best transformation though.

Retasu is the Shy Nerdy One, which made me like her initially, but there wasn’t anything that really stood out about her most of the time. I think maybe she was supposed to be a ‘straight man’ to the others’ wackiness (esp. Bu Ling), but her demeanour is too reserved to really pull this off in an entertaining way. I liked that she provided a side romance, but it never really went anywhere, which was disappointing.

Bu Ling is best girl. Her childish behaviour and Wacky Antics can get a bit annoying, but she’s cute and genuine enough to avoid being grating. I like her incredibly friendly and determined attitude. Also her focus episode was great and made me cry a little bit.

Zakuro is great just for having punched Kish in the face. 10/10 most satisfying scene in the whole series. On a more serious note, I think Zakuro was the most unique character on the team, but I’m not really sure what to make of her. She’s kind of cold and distant with high standards but occasionally soft, but I don’t really understand why she is this way. There’s hints that she has some kind of tragic backstory and possibly ulterior motives but I feel like this is never properly explained??? Maybe it’s something that didn’t translate well from manga to anime. It’s weird.

The Villains

This segment is gonna get spoilery so skip it if you care about that. The tl;dr is that the villains just kinda suck.

I just have to say it, this show had the ugliest villain designs I have ever seen in a magical girl series. I hate their outfits and the massive ears just look weird.

The Aliens have the theoretically sympathetic desire to return Earth to it’s old state now that their race is dying out on another planet - though doing so will wipe out humanity. This could be an interesting motivation, but unfortunately they are way too self-righteous and hypocritical about this and it just gets annoying. It’s possible this was the point but it’s still tiresome.

The most grating example of this is when Kish gets wounded in a fight and the other Aliens have the audacity to get angry at the Mew Mews for hurting their ‘friend’, even though neither of them showed anything but dislike for Kish, and they’ve been hurting the Mew Mews all the time.

Thoughts on the villains individually:

Kish is the most complete character of the lot - he at least succeeded in getting me to hate him with a burning passion. When he’s not busy being disturbingly possessive of Ichigo, he’s an obnoxious brat but largely a fairly competent villain. He also has the most braincells in the group, being able to come up with almost successful plans and figure out the big bad’s true intentions before the others. I think if his arc had been better paced he’d be a pretty solid MG villain over all.

Tart is just the ‘bratty child’ villain archetype, which I always hate. His relationship with Bu Ling is cute and actually has a satisfying payoff though.

Pie is just confusing. He has a ‘priorities orders over morality’ thing going on but it isn’t made very clear why he’s like this, and his last minute redemption-by-'death’ comes out of basically nowhere. The other villains are annoying but Pie is boring, which is even worse.

Deep Blue is just a generic pure evil villain once he actually becomes a character and not a voice in a void. He also had a possession plot line, which is a trope I like, but they didn’t do anything particularly interesting with it.

The Supporting Cast

Quick shout out to the Blue Knight for being the first time I’ve seen a mysterious ally character get introduced without their secret identity being immediately obvious. It’s fun to try and figure out what’s going on alongside the protagonists instead of knowing straight away.

Masaya was my favourite secondary character. His relationship with Ichigo felt a bit flat at first but after we find out what it is specifically that they like about each other I was sold. Cute and wholesome.

Ryou was an ok character. I feel like his story lines were kind of underutilised?? Feels similar to Zakuro in that he had hints at being a deeper character but couldn’t get me to connect to him.

The other guy felt like barely more than a background character. I can’t even remember his name and most of what I remember about him was ‘makes cake’ and ‘gives exposition’

Presentation

Besides the magical girl designs, I didn’t really like the visual aesthetic of this show. The colours are mostly either too saturated or too bland and the way the characters are drawn is not appealing to me.

The animation mostly ranges from passable to janky, besides the transformations. I remember some of the late-series fight scenes just consisted of awkward loops and quickly cut together stills and it looked more hilarious than intense. Intense facial expressions are sometimes so exaggerated they become laughable.

The voice acting is mostly fine, and sometimes really good, but sometimes it gets really overwrought. The amount of screeching in the last few episodes made me want to slam my head against a wall.

Plot & Themes

I thought it was interesting how much emphasis they put into the puberty metaphor. The Mew Mew powers come with a bunch of uncomfortable side effects (acting more like an animal, sprouting animal parts at inconvenient times, etc.) and the show spends a lot of time focusing on Ichigo’s emotional reactions to her body changing. I haven’t really seen other magical girl shows explore this aspect as much.

Obviously one of the biggest themes in the series is the environmentalist message. This theme gets pretty heavy handed at times but since it’s a children’s show I’m willing to give them a bit of a pass. I think it would have added a bit to show the girls being more environmentally conscious in their day to day lives or something but it’s fine.

Like I mentioned in the character sections, some character arcs and story lines are just kind of left hanging and it’s weird.

The plot about the aliens’ families back home is just flat out ignored at the end????? This was the most bizarre to me because they spent the whole show trying to reshape the Earth into somewhere they could live but then at the end they just leave. You can’t just ignore the plight of a slowly dying alien race like that, what the heck.

For some reason at the end they pull out of their bittersweet ‘powers are gone forever’ ending and have the girls randomly transform and leave to fight some unspecified enemy. I don’t know if this was supposed to be sequel set up or the staff decided it would be too sad or what but it was weird and dumb.

Conclusion

Tokyo Mew Mew is a weird mixed bag of genuinely good ideas but unsatisfying execution. I will say it isn’t really bad, it’s just that I’ve seen most of what it does done better in other series, so it doesn’t really stand out to me for the most part. My experience may also have been skewed by the long breaks I took between episodes at times - perhaps the pacing just seems worse to me because of this. Though on the other hand the fact that I had so little motivation to watch it quickly is a bad sign in itself. If I’d watched this show when I was younger perhaps I would have enjoyed it more.

Overall Rating: 6/10

PS - I get a vague impression that some of it’s flaws may be adaption problems - perhaps I’m wrong but it sometimes gives that ‘weak adaption of good source material’ vibe.

Have you seen Tokyo Mew Mew? What did you think of it? And if you have read the manga, do you think it’s better than the anime?

[chibiauthorchan]

The Hetalian’s Guide to the Galaxy

Wow, long time no post! I heard @alifeasvivid​ talk about a crossover between Hetalia (maining USUK) and the novel The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy. The source material for this project I wrote for an English class back in high school belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya and Douglas Adams respectively. For those of you who have read the latter you will notice that yes, this is strikingly similar. But I had a lot of fun writing this when I did and putting in tons of fun Easter eggs. I hope you enjoy! (P.S. Tumblr messes with the formatting, sorry)

Contents: THGttG, Preface and about a fourth of Chapter 1 (it’s really long) Word count: 2,178 Warnings: Alcohol mention, aliens, impending destruction of the Earth Summary: Arthur Kirkland woke up hungover, thinking this was just going to like any other day. Well, it wasn’t.

This is the story of a terrible, stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences. All of which except said consequences happened on a Thursday.

This is also the story of a parody of a book named after another book that was dreamt up by an 11th-grade girl set in an alternate universe from both her own and the one of the original book named after another book. The book that the book was named after is known as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy- which is not a book that originated from Earth from any of these universes nor was it published on any of these Earths. The book named after that book is in fact found on earth, but only in the universe that this 11th-grade girl comes from as this is the only universe where such a book exists. This story that parodies the book named after the other book and shall be called The Hetalian’s Guide to the Galaxy because this girl is a lover of puns. You see, the universe this parody of a book named after a book has characters from one anime series known as Hetalia placed into the world of the book named after the book. It’s a pun as fans of this anime are known as Hetalians. A pun is a joke based off of wordplay that in fact does not originate from any of these Earths so the earth fellow who thought himself clever from inventing the joke form was, in reality, reusing a billion-year-old idea that had long died out everywhere else in any of these universes.

Nevertheless, the book that the book this story parodies is named after is a wholly remarkable book.

In fact, it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor- of which no Earthman has ever heard of unless one comes from the universe in which this 11th-grade girl comes from and that individual has also read the book named after the other book¹. Much of these first three pages this girl has found unnecessary to the plot and it is being skipped over. Thus one could say this is also an abridged parody of a book named after a book. The one only slightly necessary piece of information relevant to something that will come later is that there are two books. One known as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and one known as the great Encyclopedia Galactica which was only mentioned one other time in the entirety of the book named after the other book.

So, with that out of the way let’s get to the good stuff. Which follows as thus.

The story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary consequences, and the story of how these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable parody of a book named after a book begins very simply. 

It begins with a house.

¹The 11th-grade girl writing this project would like to apologize in advance for all of the ways this parody will take twists and turns and make no sense as it talks about parodies of books named after books and the different universes the worlds these pieces of the puzzle come from. It is not her intention to confuse, this is simply the format of the book named after a book that this story is a parody of. This parody will also include plenty of British English slang as in both the book named after a book and in this parody our main character is an Englishman. Yes, long only semi-necessary footnotes such as these are found in this book named after a book and the parody will follow suit in style.

This house stood alone on the edge of a small town. It wasn't very special. Thirty years old, made of brick, and had four windows with a size and proportion with the rest of the house that was anything but aesthetically pleasing. The only person to which this house held any special value was a man named Arthur Kirkland or is it Dent? For the sake of this parody and in order to prevent confusions between the main character from the book named after a book (who's first name just also happens to be Arthur) the main character of this parody is known as Arthur Kirkland. In the universe of this parody the main character's differences with the one from the original book this story parodies don't stop at last names. Arthur Dent is about thirty years old; tall; and dark haired. Arthur Kirkland, on the other hand, is younger, twenty-three on that particular Thursday. He isn't very tall either standing in at 175 cm (or 5' 9" for those who prefer the imperial system) and his hair is anything but dark being a shade of blond that was paler but certainly not dull, and when hit with certain lights his hair even gained a golden halo. His eyebrows, however... well the best way to describe them would be thick, expressive, and surprisingly well kept. Visually they were one of his more well-known traits. The similarities between the two didn't stop at first names. For starters both characters are English. Arthur Dent used to live in London and moved to this small house as London made him nervous and irritable. Arthur Kirkland outside this universe still lives in London, but for the sake of this parody he has also moved (his reason being escaping his siblings). Their personalities are similar too, both being never quite at ease with themselves and being prone to worrying. Arthur Kirkland just being a little fierier but an English gentleman nonetheless.

The night before this particular Thursday it rained quite heavily as it is known to do in England. The ground outside was wet and muddy, however, that morning the sun was shining bright and clear as it shone down on Arthur's house for what was to be the very last time.

See, it hadn’t properly registered for Arthur that the council wanted to knock his house down and build a bypass through the rubble.

That morning at eight o'clock Arthur woke up not feeling very well. He did not enjoy the sunshine. Instead, he wanted to crawl back in his blankets and curse the sun away as it was effectively making his morning much worse. Instead, he forced himself to get up which he did quite blearily. He got up, opened a window, caught sight of a bulldozer outside, found his red, fuzzy slippers and slipped them on, grabbed his favorite dark green dressing gown and slipped that on as well, then stomped off to the bathroom for a wash.

Toothpaste on the brushㅡso. Scrub.

Shaving mirrorㅡpointing at the ceiling. Arthur adjusted it. For a split second a second bulldozer could be seen in the reflection as it was visible through the bathroom window. He completely ignored this and with the mirror now properly adjusted it show Arthur his own face and his stubble which he promptly shaved off. Arthur washed his face, dried it off, then stomped off to the kitchen to find something to eat or drink for that matter.

Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, tea. Yawn.

For a brief moment the word bulldozer found it’s way into Arthur’s thoughts. He tried to find something to connect the word to.

The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was certainly a big one. Large enough to take care of a house.

For a moment Arthur stared at it.

“What an ugly shade of yellow.” He thought before stomping back to his bedroom to get dressed. He didn’t get very far.

Before he got back to his bedroom Arthur took a quick pit stop at the bathroom in order to fetch a glass of water to drink. Then he drank another. It was at this point Arthur began to suspect that he was in fact hungover. It wasn't uncommon for Arthur to wake up with an annoying alcohol induced headache but the question that crossed his mind is why? Of course in order to be hung over one had to have been drinking. So why had he been drinking? His thoughts were interrupted by a flash of color in the shaving mirror. "Yellow..." was all that was thought before Arthur proceeded to the bedroom.

In the middle of picking out his clothes memories of last night suddenly came rushing back. “The pub,” was the first thing that came to mind, “of course it was the bloody pub! Where else could it have been?!” After that short internal argument more memories returned but in a very vague fashion. He remembered being fairly upset about... something. He’d been complaining about it to other random pub goers in a drunk whining sort of fashion. The clearest visual recollection was of the glazed, drunken looks on the faces of others in the pub. What was it that made him feel the need to become absolutely smashed over? Arthur wracked his brain trying to remember. “Something... bypass...” He mumbled. Deciding that is wasn’t extremely important he resumed getting ready for his day.

Dear God though his hangover was almost unbearable. Whatever he did he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was forgetting something extremely important. Arthur caught a glance of himself in the wardrobe mirror, proceeded to call himself an utter twat for drinking too much yet again, then attempted to fix his messy hair in the mirror. It didn’t help much, his hair was naturally a mess. He settled for the usual level of tame which meant the choppy layers of his hair laid relatively neatly. The word yellow came to mind again and Arthur tried to find something to connect the word to.

Fifteen seconds later he was outside his house laying in the mud in front of a big yellow bulldozer that was advancing up his garden path.

Mr. Raivis Galante was, as they say, only human. Which meant that he's a bipedal carbon-based life form which shared a common ancestor with apes which live on earth. Mr. Raivis Galante more specifically was in his late teens to early twenties (though he looked to be around 15), short, scrawny, and worked for the local council. On a completely unnecessary note Mr. Galante was a direct male descendant of Alexander Nevsky. He really didn't look much like Alexander and was by no means a warrior type, in fact, he was a nervous, worried man. The reason he was particularly nervous and worried that Thursday morning was his job has something go seriously wrong as Arthur Kirkland's house was supposed to be demolished by the end of the day and Arthur Kirkland was laying in the mud in front of his house preventing the bulldozers from doing their job.

“C-come off it, Mr. Kirkland,” he said with a nervous stutter, “you can’t win, y-you know. I-It’s not like you can lay in f-front of the bulldozer forever.” The small man tried to look intimidating by trying to produce a fire in his eyes but it was near impossible for him to look anything close to intimidating.

Arthur lay there in the mud unmoving as he spat back with his usual English stubbornness.

“I’m game,” he responded confidently, “we’ll see who rots here first. I know it won’t be me.”

“I-I’m afraid you have to a-accept it,” Mr. Galante said fidgeting with the hem of his jacket, “w-we have to build this bypass, a-and we’re going to do it!” He ended up shouting trying to swallow his nerves, but the effort had no effect.

"Well this is the first I've heard of it," Arthur commented casually, "why's it got to be built in the first place?"

The smaller man’s hands balled into fists but he forced them to relax. He wouldn’t be able to hit Arthur anyways. “What do you mean why?” His stutter was gone thanks to his building frustrations. “It’s a bypass, you’ve got to build it.”

A bypass is a simple structure that allows people to get to one point to another and vice versa. Arthur lived in between these hypothetical points and found no use for the bypass. Raivis wanted to be far away from any of these points especially if it meant he wasn't dealing with Arthur. However, none of this justifies the young man's logic over why the bypass must be built.

Raivis shifted his weight around uncomfortable not being able to find a suitable balance. Someone hadn’t done their job right and he could only pray that it wasn’t him.

“Y-you were entitled to make a-any suggestions or protests back when it would have b-been appropriate, Mr. Kirkland.” The small man’s stutter returned along with his nerves. He avoided making eye contact with the Brit lying on the ground as he continued to shift uncomfortably.

“Appropriate time?” Arthur mused with fake interest. “Appropriate time?” When he repeated the phrase his tone was less amused. “The first I knew about this bloody construction project was when a workman just happened to pop by my house the other day. He was the first to tell me anything about your bypass by informing me quite bluntly that my house was to be demolished. Demolished, and at first I thought he was there to clean the bleeding windows! Which I might add that he did charging me a fiver before dropping that bomb on me.” Arthur was absolutely fuming. Even laying there in the mud in his dressing gown he managed to be frightening.

"B-but Mr. Kirkland, th-the plans have been available in the planning office for the l-last nine months." Mr. Galante tried fruitlessly to reason with the disgruntled Englishman in front of him but Arthur was having none of it.

"Oh, as soon as I found out I went down to your planning office to see them. I headed straight there yesterday afternoon. They weren't exactly somewhere a normal person could find them easily. Absolutely no effort was put into calling attention to them!" Arthur's words were dripping with venom and sarcasm.

“B-but the plans were on d-display...”

“On display?! I had to go into the cellar to find them!”

“Th-that’s the display department.”

“I had to bring a torch with me!”

“Th-the lights must have gone...”

“Yes apparently so had the stairs.”

“B-but you found the notice, d-didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Arthur said seething with rage, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.’ ”

Mr. Galante frowned slightly as a cloud passed overhead casting a shadow over Arthur and his house the former of which lay in the cold mud propped up by his elbow. He just couldn’t understand why Arthur would defend such a house so feverishly.

“It’s not as if it’s a particularly nice house...” he mumbled showing off his bad habit of saying the wrong things at the wrong time. It usually resulted in making someone angry, if they weren’t angry already.

“Well excuse me, but I happen to like it.” Arthur replied with an incredibly sarcastic voice.

“You’ll like the bypass!” Raivis tried to counter.

“Oh piss off!” Arthur spat. “Just piss off and go away, and take your bloody bypass with you! You haven’t got a leg to stand on and you know it!”

Mr. Galante’s mouth opened and closed several times as he wracked his brain for something to say in response to Arthur’s outburst. His mind for a moment was filled with visions of Arthur’s house being torn apart in the most horrific of ways some of which ended in a blaze of fire with Arthur himself running and screaming from the flaming ruin. Raivis was sometimes plagued with these dark thoughts but he could never act on them being too nervous and worried to do so.

"M-m-mr. Kirk-kland?" He stuttered trying to pull his thoughts back from the dark place they accidentally slipped into.

“Yes? What is it?” Arthur had no patience left in his voice.

“J-just wondering, do you have any idea how much damage a bulldozer would suffer if I  just let it roll straight over you?” The small, trembling man had no actual intention of doing such a thing, he just wanted to see if it would scare Arthur off.

“No, how much?” Arthur asked.

“None at all.” Raivis responded with bravado before storming off.

By curious coincidence, “None at all” is exactly how much suspicion Arthur held over whether his closest friends was in fact not an earth native life form. This friend was in fact from a small planet far away from Earth somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse not from a Gildford as this friend usually claimed.

[stormobsessed]

Part 2 of Kalidin Vs. The Blackthorn.

Imagine a world where Kaladin was born a little earlier, or Dalinar and Gavilar  started their uniting of Alethkar later. They’re going through the country, destroying villages to weaken resolve.

In this dangerous time, all boys old enough are taught to fight, even the son of a pacifist surgeon, in the hopes that it would add even a few seconds onto their lives.

Sadeas is promised the small farming town of Hearthstone once they capture it, which they don’t expect to be hard at all when none of the men there are anything more than simple farmers and townfolk. However, to Blackthorn’s surprise, there is a commotion on one side of the battle. He pushes through the fighting men to see a young lad, barely old enough to fight, mowing down men like a master of the spear. The young lad is dispatching dozens of his own, highly trained, men. He is standing over the corpse of an even younger boy, and tears are streaming down his face but still he fights, swift as the wind.

So, what started out as a simple plot divergence AU post transformed into an increbly long fic that has become increasingly annoying to scroll through and past, so I decided to start a separate part 2, but no fear! You can find all of part one here: Part 1 Tumblr

or read it on Ao3 here: Part 1 Ao3

So, this will be part 2 to keep the old post from getting any longer. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!! 

The Blackthorn poured himself one last heaping mug of wine before he joined his family to meet with the radiant. His fingers itched to prepare a second, but he knew that neither Gavilar nor Evi would have approved of him pre-gaming as much as he already had, and he had no desire to distract them on such an important day. He heard the familiar sound of the tent door opening and had to fight himself not to hide his drink like he was a child attempting to sneak a cremling into the house. He turned, solemnly preparing himself for a lecture, only to come face to face not with a member of his family, but with the new Wit. This was even worse.

“Wit.” He grumbled, eyeing the strange man warily. There was just something off about the new Wit, a twinkle in his eye that said that he knew much more than he let on. It unnerved the man, and yet it was compelling as well. Storms, it seemed like each day that passed, he understood himself less. The warlord grit his teeth, anger at himself flaring in his chest. “Blackthorn,” the infuriating man said with a bow. The Warlord grumbled in reply, sinking into one of the tents low seats. He topped off his mug, refilling the bit that he’d already drank, not caring about the opinion of this fool. “I thought Gavilar had ordered you away from the feast.” The Wit blinked before making a show of looking around the sparse tent, empty but for a simple table and chairs overflowing with plans and maps, and the wine casket that Blackthorn had already dipped into. “Oh my, I can see you’re right. This is obviously the very most important area of the feast. Why look at all of these strips of paper, and but of course! The clear lack of food. How could I have been so foolish to come at what is clearly the epicenter of the festivities.” “Alright, alright. You’ve made your point.” “Well I should certainly hope so. You know, when I first took this position-“ “Two days ago.” “I was absolutely shocked at the discovery that really the most important part of being a good wit, is simply pointing out the obvious.” The Kholin snorted into his cup. “I wouldn’t call you a good wit. You reused the same insults over and over.” “Of course.” The willowy man replied, sounding affronted. “I don’t know anyone here nearly well enough to insult their character. I’m sure in time I will come to hear all of the unique types of stupidity exist in the Lighteyed court, but until then I’m not going to make something up. Why, imagine if I started to use insults that weren’t true, I would lose all credibility. However, I could know right away those that were ugly, smelly and old, and so I simply stated the obvious.” A small smirk wormed it’s way across the scarred man’s face as the Wit settled in the chair across from him. The black-clothed man seemed content to end the conversation there and pulled out a small flute. He let out a few notes then smiled, seeming pleased with himself. The Blackthorn took a long pull on his drink and closed his eyes, mentally preparing for a day of pandering and diplomacy when all he wanted to do was fight. Maybe he could get in on one of the duels. No, no, Adolin was going to try for a Blade today, he didn’t want to overshadow the boy. Suddenly, Wit spoke again. “Well if my skills as Wit has not yet impressed you, maybe my talents as a storyteller will. Hmm, something short, I suppose we are on a time constraint.” Suddenly he let out a series of trills on the flute, the sounds seemed to… echo back at him, but that wasn’t right. They were in a war tent in the middle of an empty field, sounds shouldn’t echo. Yet he had no compulsion to open his eyes, instead he simply leaned back and took another sip of drink as the sounds seemed to carry him away. The Wit’s voice grew dissonant, seeming to meld with the sound of the music that still rang through the canvas. “Ages ago, when the world was different and beings of intense power still walked the earth, there lived a very large, very kindhearted family of laborers. They worked the land day in and day out just to have the food to survive, yet they were extremely kind to their neighbors. They shared as much as they were able, and oftentimes more. One day, one of the family’s children was performing his usual chore of transferring livestock from one field to another, he spotted a figure crumpled on the ground. The child ran to the figure and found an old woman, blood crusted on her temple from an unknown injury. The child acted quickly, pulling the woman onto the back of one of his creatures and using it to haul her back to the house. The boy’s mother stayed up for days bringing the woman back to health, taking precious food off of their table. Finally the woman was well enough to walk and stand. Almost immediately she made to leave, not listening to any argument the family made to give herself time to hear. However, before she left she gave, to the child who had first found her, a clear globe of glass, similar to what men use to gamble, but several times larger.

The family was perplexed by the sphere, and the child simply gave it to his infant sister to play with. However, as is often the case in a house so full and so busy, the sphere soon got accidentally kicked under a bed in a corner, and no one stopped to recover it. The sphere was soon forgotten.

Yet the next day, had anyone cared to look, they would have noticed a small speck of red in the previously clear crystal. For the woman had not been a normal human, she had been a creature of great power, and a ruby was growing from the clear glass. The next day the speck grew even larger, the next day larger, until the entire sphere transformed into a perfectly cut gem the size of a grown man’s fist.

However, the family had never given it a never thought since the day that it had rolled under the bed. So, while untold riches grew just below their noses, they continued to scrape and save and starve, never knowing that the toy they had discarded was a gift greater than they could have imagined.”

The notes flowed, and slowly began to fade.

Dalinar opened his eyes when the last of the notes had faded completely, turning to see the black-clothed lighteyed man reclining against the chair, flute tucked away. He frowned, the story tugging at his mind. “What did that mean?”

Wit arched a brow. “What do you think it means? It is not a storytellers job to tell a man how to think, rather it is our job to give them something to think on.”

“I thought it was your job to state the obvious.” Dalinar replied, and Wit grinned.

“Sometimes, the obvious is not as clear as we would like it to be.”

Dalinar frowned at the odd wording, but he was too focused on the story to give it much thought. He mulled it over, setting aside his glass, despite the fact that it was still half full. “Change.” He finally replied. “Change only affects things, if people are able to see it.”

Wit smiled enigmatically, the expression giving nothing away. “It sounds like you have a lot to think on, Highprince Dalinar. Though, that may have to wait for another day. I believe the festival is about to start. Don’t worry, I won’t mortally offend your precious Radiant. Though, I am sure that I will enjoy the show.”

Kaladin looked over the men and women of Heathstone. They were smiling, chatting amongst one another, more animated than he’d seen them in months. Since Gavilar’s invitation and Roshone’s very public acceptance, thepeople had been in a frenzy. The women had washed and mended their threadbare clothes several times over, and the men had polished their shoes and belt buckles, as well as buffing any jewelry that their wives had saved. Laurel had even passed out her jewelry to some of the women, and allowed the younger women to use some of her extra havahs. The people seemed to have been transformed, seeming to have shorn off the tragedy of just a few weeks prior.

He wished that the facade weren’t so very fragile.

He wished that there was no woman, weeping in the corner over her son who would have loved to visit the feast, that the young woman in Laurel’s dress didn’t look into the mirror with wet eyes as she pictured what her recent groom would have thought of her. He wished that the young man in the corner wasn’t staring blankly at where the sleeve of his freshly washed shirt lay limp, his arm ending in a stub at his elbow. He wished… he wished that it was easier for him to see their joy than their pain, that he could appreciate their excitement. However any joy he could have had was lost to the pain of a town nearly halved.

He’d never been especially good at smiling through the pain. Though he supposed that tonight he would have to try. Though he believed in Adolins plan, well semi-believed it, it turned his stomach to think of sitting there playing nice at the feast, no doubt being gawked at by dozens of  important lighteyes who were simply enthralled at the idea of the dark eyed radiant.

A light touch made him jump, and he whirled to see him mother smiling at him, though concern darkened her eyes. “There are storms in your eyes, the Stormfather himself would be impressed.”

“Sorry, mother, I’m just… nervous about tonight.”

Hesina cupped her son’s face in her hands. “I will not lie to you.” She said softly. “I wish that this burden was not yours. I fear it will weigh you down, make you a pack mule when you were meant to be something much greater. However, I know this without any fear or doubt, I know that you are strong enough to bear it. You have the strength of a chull but the ferocity of a whitespine. I know that this is scary, but you will succeed.”

Kaladin let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, growing strength from his mothers love and confidence, allowing it to pull him out of the void of darkness he sometimes allowed himself to get drawn into. It was so much harder to stay clear of the void when Tien was gone.

“Besides,” His mother said, and her voice had taken on a familiar, amused tint. “Remember, they are the ones courting you, not the other way around. Feel free to make them work for it.” She lightly kissed his forehead. “Now come, you should get changed. We will have to head out soon.”

Kaladin frowned, but obediently followed the woman. Roshone had reluctantly pulled one of his son Riller’s old suits out of his untouched room, and one of the town’s seamstresses had tailored it to fit Kaladin’s thinner, taller frame.

“Does everyone know what to do?” He asked. He already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it said one last time.

“Yes. The townspeople know better than to trust the Kholins. Everyone will be safe within the keep by the time Mishim has started to rise. Your plan with the Blackthorn’s family will not start until well after that. Everyone should be safely back here before any trouble starts.”

Kaladin nodded, relief flooded through him as he slipped into a small room to change. The majority of the town would be attending a festival with Kholin’s soldiers and army followers, while Kaladin, his family, Roshone, Laurel, Rock and Teft would go to the fancy feast Gavilar was throwing. It was hard to convince Roshone that Teft should join them, but Kaladin had managed to convince him that he was the most knowledgeable about the army and should therefore be there to consult. He’d wanted Rock there as well, but he needed someone to make sure that the rest of the town stayed safe and came back on time.

The plan was for Laurel, Teft, and Hesina to go back at the same time as the rest of the village. Roshone said he would decide later, after he’d ‘felt out the situation’, but Kaladin had no doubt that the coward would choose to go back then as well.

As Kaladin made his way back to the room Roshone had commandeered to use to discuss strategy, he consciously sucked the stormlight from any lamps down the hall. If things went poorly, he could potentially be flying 5 other people back with him. He’d been practicing that in the yard all week. A smile finally graced his lips as he remembered it, sending some of the town’s children flying, making sure to hover them a few inches off the ground, less they fall. It had taught him a great deal of control, and they had loved it. Maybe it wouldn’t go bad though, maybe they would let him just walk off with the Blackthron’s wife and kids.

Who was he kidding? This was going to be a disaster.

Gavilar listened critically as Navani read out a complete list of all of the features of the festival. It sounded marvelous, a celebration the likes of which this town certainly had never seen. It wouldn’t be enough, the Radiant was extremely stubborn, but it would be a decent first step. He would be given the chance to talk with the boy in a more one on one setting, show him what he could be missing out on. He’d had a long talk with Amaram about how much of the truth he should tell the child, but he had the feeling that now was not the time to reveal much of the truth.

Some of it, perhaps. Hint towards a greater coming danger, that would get the boy’s protective instincts flowing. That was what the Windrunners were known for, wasn’t it? Yes, he could use that.

Satisfied, both at his mental plans and the party plans that Navani read, the man looked around the room.

He frowned when his eyes lit upon his son. Elhokar was pouting again, which could only mean two things. Either he was fixating on something he could not change, or he was choosing to mope rather than fix something he could. Neither attribute was especially befitting an heir apparent.

“What is the matter son?”

“It’s not fair, everyone has something to do to help but me! Renarin and Adolin have been visiting the Radiant, you are the King, and Uncle Dalinar is your warrior. What am I supposed to do?”

The boy had a point, as poorly as he’d said it. Besides, it was partly Gavilar’s fault. The boy had been with him in the strategy tent, planning, when Dalinar’s lads had made the bravely foolish choice to approach the young darkeye. Still, Elhokar was a good son, and with some more fostering Gavilar knew he would make a fantastic king.

“I’m sorry that we haven’t spoken of this son, but you are vitally important.” Elhokar perked up, and from where she sat Navanni cast a skeptical eyebrow. “As proven by Adolin and Renarin, the Radiant has been more responsive to people his age. It is something that I should have seen earlier, but I cannot change the past. Regardless, you have the power of the throne, but will be more relatable to young Kaladin. I want you to try to befriend him as your cousins have, that will make it even easier to strategize with him when we finally win him over.”

Elhokar nodded, his face serious. Gavilar returned the nod. Well, that was one problem handled, now to find that ridiculous Wit and keep him from interfering.

That man knew far more than he should. Far more than anyone should.

Adolin rolled his shoulders and gave a few gentle squats, more getting used to the feel of the shardplate than anything else. He felt his mother’s necklace lying against his skin, and it gave him confidence somehow. He didn’t have his helm on yet, and he wouldn’t get possession of the blade he was using for the duel until a few moments before it. So now he was just waiting, along with the rest of the army and what felt like half of Kholinar, for the door of the keep to open.

There was a strange anticipation in the air, lighteyes and dark alike shifted nervously, many tired from the past few frantic days of planning two parties.

The Kholin’s stood in front of the crowd, surrounded by the royal honor guard. Weapons gleamed and Kholin blue contrasted brightly against the crem covered ground. Sadeas stood just behind them, his face violently blank and holding none of the charm that Gavilar was purposely portraying.

Dalinar frowned, seeming contemplative and a million miles away, which honestly was a relief. Honestly, their plan would work best if he was distracted.

Commotion had been steadily growing behind the doors of the keep for the past several moments, increasing the tension of the awaiting crowd. Adolin felt like the group was going to snap, and he found himself continuously running his finger along his helm, wishing he already had his blade.

Then, finally, like a bolt of lightening the Radiant appeared over the doors of the keep, hovering there and locking intense eyes with Gavilar. Adolin, who hadn’t found the man especially intimidating when they’d been face to face, felt himself shiver at the figure he made now. The man made a sharp, unique gesture, like making a salute by crossing his arms, and the doors swung open.

A lighteyed man, the towns brightlord most likely, stood at the front, beside a younger lighteyed girl, and an older darkeyed couple. Behind them stood the rest of the town, all standing tall with their heads held high.

The Lighteyed man walked straight to Gavilar, Kaladin swooping down to land beside them. Gavilar greeted the man solemnly, but pleasantly. “Brightlord Roshone, I presume.”

“That right.” The man said, sniffing as though attempted to pretend that he was superior to the king of Alethkar. Adolin matched eyes with Kaladin and, since unlike the Radiant no one was looking at him, rolled his eyes. Kaladin’s lips pressed together as though he were attempting to stave off amusement.

Gavilar nodded, managing to keep his eye on the Lighteyed man rather than the Radiant he actually respected. “We will have much to talk about, but first,” He made a sweeping gesture. “I hope you’ll enjoy the festivities, you and your people.”

That seemed to break a dam, and suddenly figures were streaming out of the thin door of the keep, their excitement almost palpable as they made their way to the festival grounds that had been set up. It  was only then that Gavilar turned to the Radiatnt. The king surprised Adolin by offering a shallow bow to the Radiant. It wasn’t a full, proper bow, but it was a very clear show of respect. Kalading gave a nod in reply, though he didn’t bow. Gavilar seemed to have expected that, and was almost immediately working to make a good impression on the lighteyes and the solemn darkeyed couple that Adolin recognized as Kaladin’s parents from the portrait he and Renarin had found.

Adolin however, made his way to the Radiant, along with Renarin. Elhokar was following closely as well, and Adolin could only hope that Kaladin was smart enough not to mention their plans with the prince hovering so close.

Kaladin eyed Adolin’s plate, bulky and gorgeous and painted a striking Kholin blue. Adolin grinned, “Its for my duel. I’m going to win a shardblade!”

Kaladin opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly his eyes shot to the side, staring at something that Adolin couldn’t see. The teen whispered something to the Spren, too low for Adolin to catch. The smile wiped off of Adolin’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

Kaladin shook his head. “Syl doesn’t like the blades.”

“Syl? What’s a Sy?” Elhokar’s voice piped up, ad immediately Kaladin’s eyes narrowed on the prince, sizing up the stranger.

“Syl is my Spren. And you are?”

“I am Elhokar Kholin, the son of Gavilar and the heir to the throne.” Elokhar said proudly, and Adolin had to hide a wince. Elhokar couldn’t know, but that was porobably one of the worst ways he could have introduced himself to the powerful darkeyes.

“Oh.” Kaladin replied, dismissive. Adolin’s cousin seemed stunned for a moment before indignation and anger flasheded across his face. He puffed himself up and began to say something, but luckily Renarin cut in before he could.

“Shall we make our way to the dueling grounds? We can watch some of the eariler bouts and explain the rules while we wait for it to be Adolin’s turn.”

Kaladin was still eyeing Elhokar uncertainly, but he nodded and all four of them turned towards towards the town.

It was hard to find room sufficient to hold a dueling ground in the nice part of town where they were holding the lighteyed feast, so they’d ended up using it as part of the divider between it and the common festival. Adolin… kind of liked it. They had gathered a crowd of darkeyes, from Hearthstone and the soldiers alike. Each bout had a soundtracks of cheers and screams that were absent in the traditional, formal, solemn bouts that Adolin was used to. He loved it, more than he would have thought.

He grinned at the crowd. In the Lighteye seating area the Kholin’s held the seats of honor. Gavilar was smiling and chatting with Roshone, but Dalinar and Evi were smiling over at him encouragingly. Adolin couldn’t keep the grin from his face. He was going to win his very own blade, and his dad was actually going to be there to see it.

Renarin followed his eyes and smiled softly. “Are you ready?”

“Yup, I even have a good luck charm, Mom gave me her necklace.”

“Did you eat Chicken for lunch?”

The grin slipped off of Adolin’s face. Did he? He’d had to eat quickly to help organize the stands for the Darkeyed festival, but he’d had… pork. His eyes widened and he whirled on Renarin. Eating chicken was the only pre-duel tradition that he held, and he wasn’t about to break it before what would probably be the most important duels of his life.

Renarin understood instantly. “I-I’ll go find something.” Kaladin startled at that, tearing his eyes from the stands where he’d been watching his visibly uncomfortable parents. Lirin, who so staunchly disapproved of violence, whas clearly not enjoying this game of brutality. However, Renarin’s sudden disappearance was enough to draw the radiant’s attention. .

“Really? Chicken?”

“Traditions are important.” Elhokar interrupted. “I myself have several that I perform before every duel.”

Kaladin eyed him. The Radiant was clearly unsure how to take the older man. Adolin could understand. He loved his cousin, but he didn’t always make a great first impression. “Like what?” The Radiant asked hesitantly, and Adolin got the impression that the teen was trying, in his own way.

Elhokar began detailing some of his usual traditions, fairly similar to Adolin’s own, then quickly changed to begin telling the man stories of the oddest traditions he’d heard of, which ranged from odd to ridiculous. By the time Renarin retured, Kaladin almost looked amused.

Panting, Renarin shoved… something wrapped in paper in Adolin’s hand. “It was all I could find nearby. Most of the stands near here are only selling snacks or sweets.”

Kaladin wrinkled his nose. “What is it?”

“It’s chicken, uh, I think they called it Chouta.” He shrugged. “That Herdazian stand was selling it, it seemed popular so it must be decent.”

Adolin looked over the way his brother had pointed, quickly locating a busy stand selling items that looked similar to what he’d handed him. The stand was stuffed with four Herdazian men working to make and hand out the Chouta, and… did one of them only have one arm?

Adolin shook himself and forced himself to take a bite before he could talk himself out of it. Immediately after taking a bite, the young man perked up.

“Hey, this is actually really good!” He took another bite and hummed appreciatively, ignoring Kaladin’s frankly disbelieving expression. Adolin shrugged, but was distracted when a ‘boo’ sounded throughout the crowd and Elhokar cried “Foul!”

“What happened?” Kaladin asked, and Elhokar grinned from cheek to cheek as he began explaining.

Adolin closed his eyes and took several long, deep breaths, centering himself. It would be his turn in three bouts, then he would be a shardbearer.

[themildestofwriters]

Writing Ask Game

Thanks to the magnificent @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz​ for tagging me in this wonderful little tag.

I don’t think I’m going to choose one WIP rather just the universe itself – The Divine Intervention universe. By that, I mean I’ll be doing it for these two novels I’m working on: Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality? & The Trials and Tribulations of a Virgin Goddess.

1. Describe the plot in one sentence.

Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality? 

A goddess and a girl meet at a bus stop and while things are a bit awkward at first, they soon begin hitting it off and begin regular correspondence, however, there’s something more lurking under the surface that neither of them wish to peruse and that one thing is forgiveness and love respectively.

The Trials and Tribulations of a Virgin Goddess

Sex and Babette go together as well as water and oil, yet it was not always this way and in this story she decides to heal herself, to improve herself, and to choose love over her almost selfish desire to dwell on the past and wallow in a pit of guilt and suffering.

2. Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic of your novel.

Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality?

Flashes of blood, death and gore in the small hours of the night. The smell of petrichor as rain descends. The sound of deathly silence. The feel of soft arms holding you tightly. The metallic taste of blackened blood coughed from the lungs.

The Trials and Tribulations of a Virgin Goddess

Bodies intertwined in a lover’s embrace. The smell of lust in the air. The sound of ceaseless screaming. The feel of suffocating pain and smooth stone. The bittersweet taste of lip balm.

3. Which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

Because I’m not very knowledgeable on music myself, this list is filled only with songs I have on my phone.

Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality?

“Viva La Vida” by Coldplay; “Accidentally In Love” by Counting Crows; “Superman (It’s Not Easy)” by Five for Fighting; “Stressed Out” by Twenty-One Pilots; “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran

The Trials and Tribulations of a Virgin Goddess

“Somewhere Over The Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole; “All of Me” by John Legend; “Let Her Go” by Passenger; “Like A Virgin” by Madonna; “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri

4. What’s the time period and location in which the novel takes place.

Both books take place in the modern era and mostly in Salisbury/Adelaide, South Australia. WCAI? takes place in 2016 and TTVG takes place in 2017. However, at least specifically in TTVG, it does take place in other countries with Babette visiting Japan, America and perhaps even England as either a part of her job (Street Performer) or as the plot demands.

5. Is this a standalone or a part in a series?

Well…

6. Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded?

For WCAI? I only had Divine Interruption and for TTVG there was “Babette Visits A Sex Shop” “Babette Visits An Adult Shop” and The Weird and Wonderful Sexual Awakening of Babette Mewlyn.

7. What’s the first line of your novel?

I have a tendency to only have a single line to begin a book.

Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality?

“The sky was a dark crimson haze.”

or

“It was supposed to be a bright and sunny Saturday morning in suburban Adelaide.”

The Trials and Tribulations of a Virgin Goddess

“We had planned this for nearly an entire week now and today was the day.”

8. What’s a dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

“ “心配しないで,” she said, a devilish smirk twisting onto her lips. “少なくとも 見る かわいく 、ジョセフィーン様.” “ – Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality? Chapter 2(draft)

If you’ve got a problem with my Japanese, please tell me because I’m winging it on Google Translate and outdated information.

“ “It—it hurts.” It took all my power to just say that and once I did, I was hit by a new wave of grief—of agony—of heart-rending guilt. ” – The Trials and Tribulations of Babette Melwyn Chapter 3(draft)

9. Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole?

“It—it hurts.”

10. Who are your character faceclaims?

Babette… well, I’m tossing up between these girls: Jaimie Alexander; Abbey Lee Kershaw; Amanda Seyfried; Astrid Berges-Frisbey; Zoey Deutch; and Willa Holland.

For Josephine, she’s a bit difficult to find a face claim for. If you’d like to help, that would be appreciated but so far, I’ve not found anything that fits her yet.

11. Sort your characters into Harry Potter houses!

Babette Melwyn – Slytherin

Josephine Williams – Hufflepuff

Henrietta Phillips – Ravenclaw

Maria Camhain-Schmidt – Gryffindor

Kurt Schmidt – Gryffindor

Flynn Camhain-Schmidt – Hufflepuff

Adrien Williams – Hufflepuff

Samuel Meric – Gryffindor

Sofía Meric – Hufflepuff

Harrison Williams – Ravenclaw

Alyssa Williams – Gryffindor

Samantha Bailey – Ravenclaw

12. Which character’s name do you like the most?

Respectfully, I love them all, specifically the girl’s names. Henrietta, Josephine, Babette, Alyssa, Maria, Sofía.

13. Describe each character’s daily outfit.

Babette Melwyn; Babette’s daily outfit could be summarised as well cared for rags with a history with radioactivity. By this I mean, Babette hasn’t changed out of the dress she wore when a group of revolutionaries decided to nuke her. While incredibly old, magic makes a great cleaner and preserver for the cloth and during the course of this novel, she’s usually seen wearing it often. It’s a plain black form fitting V-neck dress with long sleeves that reach up to her hands. The skirt used to be long and flowing, but since being nuked, it’s much shorter, ending around her calves—jagged and looking like some kind of tattered flower blooming from her waist down.

Aside from the dress, she wears leather strapped calf-high sandals and her ruby necklace—her ruby necklace is a constant with every single last outfit she wears.

After settling down on Earth, she finds herself wearing other bits and pieces. She feels comfortable outside her tattered remains and has a small wardrobe filled with a verity of clothing. Her aesthetic could best be described as gothic and Victorian gothic. Expect lots of lacy black dresses of varying lengths along with several sundresses and perhaps a few gowns. Hats are usually wide-brimmed and floppy, and she will not wear heels.

Josephine Williams; Josephine doesn’t have a daily outfit because she’s a normal person who doesn’t have a set outfit and often changes as the clothes she wore previously gets dirty. However, she has that kind of… art student vibe to her, befitting her artistic inclination, though she does were certain jewellery or outfits that have a certain Hellenic aesthetic. What you’ll mostly see her around in is either some kind of cardigan, perhaps a really large jumper while wearing a dress, whether short or long with some leggings underneath. She mixes it up, shirts and shorts, pants and with different colours as well. She keeps her options wide and varied but if you spent enough time with her and paid attention, you’d notice similarities.

Heels, like her girlfriend, is a no-no, but her outfits are certainly more colourful then Babette’s who prefers black and occasionally other colours.

14. Do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

Babette has a lot of scars but specifically there’s the scars across her heart—two, specifically, one on her back and on her chest, both from being impaled by a weapon that wiped out all life in a galaxy. It wasn’t fun getting that one.

Josephine once had a scar on her calf, but I think she might not have any major scars nor any tattoos—yet. I might give her a distinctive back tattoo that’s basically a string of astronomical symbols which relate to the Underworld in Greek Mythology.

15. Which character most fits a character trope?

I wouldn’t be able to say for sure but I’m sure that Babette and Josephine both fit into a character trope/archetype.

16. Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Babette, hands down. Babette’s not so good at writing songs and whatnot but she’s an academic and a Bard, having transcribed ancient texts, her own stories and a few she’s plagiarised from Earth because Earth Copyright doesn’t exist outside of Earth. Out of the main characters, I’d say that Josephine isn’t so good at the writing of things and prefers visual art. Like, she could write a story, but it’d read like a synopsis.

17. Which character is the best liar? Worst?

This entirely depends on when we take the characters. Before Babette was unceremoniously dethroned, she was a magnificent liar who would often use the skill in her youth on the run. However, at the same time, she’s spent literal aeons alone and her skills at lying have atrophied. She still does it, she’s just noticeably worse. I would say the worst liar would probably be Adrian because out of the children characters, he’s younger and got the biggest tells out of the lot of them. And yes, I have to pick children because everyone else are massive liars whether it’s lying to themselves, their parents, or others. In my experience, everyone lies at least once and their skill isn’t proportional to how much they

18. Which character swears the most? Least?

Henrietta swears like a fuckin’ sailor, Josephine can swear but only does it rarely—or at least where people can’t hear her.

19. Which character has the best handwriting? Worst?

Babette, again due to living for millions of years and the necessity she had to perfect her handwriting. So far, I’ve described her handwriting thusly:

‘…it was clear that it was one-hundred per cent handwritten, and it was a masterpiece. Each letter, each word was written in a way that made reading it clear and easy to read, but also incredibly pleasing to the eye. Cursive, almost like calligraphy but written in clear bull-point pen, as if someone managed to distil handwriting into an artform then decoded to perfect it because why not?’ – Divine Intervention or: What Comes After Immortality? Chapter 4(draft)

Unfortunately, she’s not so good at art unless it’s literally putting the image in her mind onto paper using magical means. Nevertheless, I could see her girlfriend asking Babette to do some calligraphy for her blog.

Flynn has the worst but honestly you can’t blame the kid… he’s a kid!

20. Which character is most like you? Least like you?

I’d probably have to say Babette, but it’s a close tie between her and Josephine because both of them contain facets of me but are also their own people with different desires and personalities.

Least like me are the other characters, pretty much. Henrietta, Maria, Kurt, Samuel, Sofía, Flynn, Harrison, Alyssa, I’m not really like these characters at all.

21. Which character would you most like to be?

Josephine. Hands down, Josephine. Listen, I like Babette and all and she’s an extension of myself in some ways, and, honestly, I’d feel a lot more comfortable in her skin then my own, but Josephine is just a quiet suburban girl with her own slice of the Earth doing her own thing. She’s an artist, she’s got a loving family, a healthy online presence, a healthy sleeping schedule, and… yeah.

To tag some folks, I think I’ll tag: @randomestfandoms-ocs; @rose-writes-and-drinks-tea; @ariellaskylark; @focusdumbass; @i-tried-and-i-loose; @undinisms; @alixismad; @sweet-scribes; @sunlight-melodies and literally anyone else who wants to try it!

[diarythebookwyrm]

Thoughts on Stranger Things 3

So Stranger Things 3 aired almost two weeks ago. I binge-watched the entire season on that Friday afternoon/evening/night. Naturally, that meant I had to take some time to sort through what I had just watched. I have since sorted through my thoughts and decided to share them.

Below the cut, because this is gonna get long and I don’t wanna spoil anybody who hasn’t caught up yet.

So...first, some character thoughts.

This season absolutely cemented in my mind exactly which characters are my favorites and which I couldn’t care less about. This is particularly true of the two main characters who just rub me the absolute wrong way; Jonathan Byers and Mike Wheeler.

Now, I’ve had issues with Jonathan since season one. Let’s explore why that’s the case, shall we? Within the first half of the season, Jonathan not only stalked Nancy but took pictures of her naked and having sex without her knowledge or consent. That’s already pretty damned creepy, but it gets worse when you remember that Nancy is a minor. Jonathan’s pictures count as child pornography by the modern definition. Yes, this is in the 80s, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy. Yes, he and Nancy have “shared trauma” after being in the Upside Down for a short time, but that...is not enough to build a relationship on??? Then the way he and Nancy do end up together is sketchy at best.

So...yeah. Jonathan is not my favorite character.

As for Mike...

Mike, Mike, Michael, Mikey. He is my absolute least favorite of the original Party. Why? Because he’s a selfish, entitled little asshole. I have two younger brothers; one five years and one ten years younger than me. I’ve lived in a house with a 13-15-year-old boy when I myself was 18-20. It was...a trial, to say the least. But Mike takes the typical early teen boy angst and dials it right up to thirteen. Not eleven; thirteen.

In this season, that was just emphasized even more than the past two seasons for me. His behavior towards Hopper has always been a bit of a pain for me to watch, but this season it just got worse. Just because Mike is El’s first boyfriend, he acts like that means he’s entitled to all her time and attention. Hopper was completely justified in flipping out the way he did.

Which brings me to Hopper’s characterization this season. I thought it was perfectly in line with the man we’ve spent so much time with so far. For one thing, this is the mid-to-late 80s. 

Let me put that in perspective for everyone. My dad was about Steve Harrington’s age in the mid to late 80s (my mom was about Nancy’s age). My dad was a bit of a...snark as a kid. My grandfather was and still is a very down-to-earth and straight-shooting man. He did not put up with my dad’s bullshit. Full stop. End of story. Hopper is similar to my grandfather in that respect. The scene where Hopper gets Mike alone and then lays down the law? My grandfather would have pulled that if he had a daughter with a snarky, disrespectful asshole of a boyfriend.

Hopper is also raising a teenage girl for the first time. His daughter died before she ever reached her teen years, so Hopper is figuring out what is the best method for handling things like a first boyfriend or a girl’s nights at the house. This is a man who spent years after his daughter’s death living as a confirmed bachelor who was a bit of a slob because he was also self-medicating with alcohol. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t actually follow through on the thought to kill Mike.

Joyce was, as always, my favorite of the parents. She’s a wonderful mother who is just trying to keep shit going for her boys’ sakes more than her own. I can’t really blame her for wanting to move out of Hawkins after what happened with Bob. Did that mean I enjoyed that plotline? No, of course I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean it was a bad one.

Murray was...Well, Murray. I did like his interactions with Hopper and how he’s the only person who actually was calling Hopper by his first name.

Nancy’s plotline in this season...it felt a little weak to me, I’ll be honest. Ever since Nancy and Jonathan got together last season (which...again, I think that was poorly handled from the start), Nancy has not been my favorite person. Am I saying she should have stayed with Steve? Absolutely not. It’s very clear that Nancy was not nearly as invested in that relationship as Steve was. I honestly think that if Nancy were not in any relationship, her story might have been a bit better written. As it is, she just feels like she’s filler alongside Jonathan while Steve actually grows as a person.

Steve, as always, is continuing to grow and develop in ways neither Nancy nor Jonathan has in the course of the show. When we first meet Steve, he’s the hot man on campus, the popular jock, etc. etc. etc. Did he do and say some problematic things? Yes. But, I would like to remind everyone of just what kind of dumbasses we all were at seventeen. Do you remember being seventeen? I do. I was a bitch. And it’s very clear in season one that most of Steve’s assholery comes from having shitty friends as much as anything. He had a point about Jonathan being a creep, and while breaking the camera might have been extreme, it was certainly justified. I think the worst thing he did was helping with spray painting Nancy “The Slut” Wheeler on the sign, and that was clearly more something that Tommy H. came up with. He even stayed behind to help clean the graffiti up. Was Steve an idiot in season one? Yes, but I still loved him even then because I saw potential and he has more than lived up to that.

The rest of the Party along with Max and El remained pretty firmly where they had been in my estimation before season three with only Max and Will moving slightly higher up on my list. Lucas has never been my favorite, but neither is he my least favorite. Dustin is my son and I will protect him. Will has grown on me and I just want to bundle him up in a blanket and feed him cookies. El is, as she always has been, a badass. Max wasn’t necessarily my favorite last season, but I didn’t dislike her, and she’s certainly grown on me with this season.

Robin and Alexei are darlings and I love them both dearly. Erica...yeah. Those of us with younger siblings either are like “yeah, been there” or find Erica a bit too close to home to enjoy. I’ll let you judge for yourself where she falls.

Now for the one character I never thought I would ever feel sympathy for: Billy. When Billy entered the show in season two, I hated him. I hated everything about him, and that was kind of the point. We were supposed to hate him. What I think is a great credit to both the writers and Dacre Montgomery’s portrayal of Billy is the fact they did invoke sympathy from me this season. Billy has still done awful things, but as I watched him become the pawn of the Mind Flayer, I actually felt sorry for him. Dacre was amazing in this role, and I’ll never forget the scene where El and he are facing off in the Starcourt Mall. It’s one of the most poignant scenes in the entire series, as far as I’m concerned.

Moving past the single characters and into the relationships:

I...have never shipped Mileven or Max/Lucas. Why? Because they are children. Mike and Eleven are about 12-13 when they meet, so...for me, the idea of shipping children has never sat well with me. It’s part of why I don’t actively ship series-era Kataang in Avatar: The Last Airbender. By season three, Mike, Eleven, Lucas and Max are about 14-15 which...is better, but not by much. I’m twenty-nine, so for me, those are babies. Also, they’ll grow up and probably have other loves in their life. Shipping children that young is problematic because most people don’t stay with their first love forever. It’s considered healthy to have multiple early loves, and I think that’s part of why I was so adamantly against Mileven this season.

I’ve already addressed some of my biggest issues with Jancy from last season, and I mentioned that I just felt like they were filler this season. Also, Nancy talking about “what if I just...don't let you go” made me facepalm so hard. Again, Jonathan is one of Nancy’s first loves. Few people stay with their high school boyfriend for the rest of their lives. True, it was certainly more common in the 50s-80s, but that doesn’t mean it’s something that should inspire great shipping material. Nancy is at least 17 or 18 in season three. She’s still figuring out what she wants out of life, and so is Jonathan. Making them out to be this great romance that will last forever is just...weird?

Jopper...Jopper broke my heart this season. I’d shipped it on the side since season one, but put it on the back burner when I saw how happy Joyce was with Bob. This season, it just reminded me why I love the dynamic between Joyce and Hopper. I’m so sad that they’ll never have that date at Enzo’s, and I wish the writers would stop making Joyce watch the man she thinks she could settle down with die horribly.

The plot:

I knew the Mind Flayer was going to be the Big Bad, so that was no surprise. What was surprising was the army of the Flayed, and I rather enjoyed that. The Russians were a wonderful addition as far as I’m concerned. I loved the way it was handled, both comedically and dramatically. It makes sense to me that if American scientists discovered the Upside Down, the Russians would have too. I mean, this is the end of the Cold War after all. America and Russia were constantly racing against one another to find the next great discovery first.

Overall, I loved this season. It was not a let-down in any way for me, apart from the focus on certain characters that still irk me. Also, I’ll just be in my lovely house on the river Denial quietly shipping Jopper.