#it was their nth time to play in my city and that day was my first time seeing them live :'( i wanna combust actually!

[youtappedout]

just some non-wrestling stuff :)))

kay so it's been a shitty weekend for me cos last night I completely wiped my macbook of its storage since I'm running low and the continuous lag has been so bad. and while I was backing some stuff up which weren't a lot (or so I thought) I was like huh my files don't seem like a lot .... everything was just TOO easy for me to transfer things over I was kinda relieved too because it doesn't have to take me a while to reset everything and so once I was confident and 1000% sure, I clicked on that erase all my data mf.

took a little bit over an hour and some doubts started to come in like I should've first uninstalled my adobe apps since those are the heaviest ones and maybe logged out of my apple id and shit idk but whatever I backed up the ones I know are very important.

and then it hit me: I haven't finished storing ALL The 1975 concert videos I took and EVERYTHING was in the Photos app in this fucking mac. I felt like being in an ice bucket challenge after that realization hit. I have erased it on my phone as well because I have it in this laptop and I was in the process of copyin g those videos on my external drive but I keep procrastinating because this@!! laptop!! has!! been!! fucking!! slow!! and!! lagging!!!!!!!!!

I'm so frustrated like there's no way I could recover those. all I got left from that concert are photos I literally want to breakdown and proceed to the nearest exit aka cliff. I've tried EVERY disk recovery app online out there and nothing just seemed to work (easeUS sucks balls btw wtf all they got back are micro fucking files that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE CONTAINED!!!! NULL FILES for god fucking knows what) macos time machine didn't do any better as I was fucking ignorant with it.

I don't regret wiping my storage and making it new somehow again I just hate hate hate that I didn't take my time to CAREFULLY think what else what else what else!!!!! you know what they say if it comes off too easy, something's wrong with it!!!!!!!! I hate everything rn.

[onismdaydream]

no no i see the vision - nanami teaching yuji patience… discipline. yuuji who’s so eager and excited and nanami just reigns him in, its unspoken but nanami is in charge and when his voice cuts through the moans and whimpers as yuuji gets carried away…..

anon i am kissing u omg thank u...

this is so messy but my brain just kept going ! so um ramble under the cut :3

yeah exactly like. the first time yuji meets you, he absolutely falls in love. doesn't even realize it, he just becomes obsessed with you. you just look so cute and perfect.. soft little dog ears and that cute little tail that always wags so fast... you're so affectionate too, licking and kissing yuji as soon as nanami introduces him to you. because of course, if your owner trusts yuji, then he must be a good person.

i think nanami knows he has to go away for a longer mission, knows that he can't leave you alone for that long, so he asks yuji to do him a favor, to take care of his puppy. not only is yuji eager to please his mentor (i thought i told you not to call me that.), but hes always been curious to spend more time with you, so he easily agrees and finds himself packing his stuff to stay with you. (nanami is not letting his sweet puppy stay with yuji in his own apartment - he's seen how yuji lives)

and because you're so precious to nanami, he takes the time to show yuji how exactly to take care of you - what you are going to expect from the pink haired sorcerer. when you eat and what you like to eat, how to help you bathe and get dressed and how you like your hair brushed, anything to make sure your schedule doesn't get messed up. your owner might spoil you a bit, but can you blame him? (i think nanami just wants to take care of someone, so he does spoil and baby you a bit, but you don't complain one bit)

yuji listens intently to everything nanami says, wanting to earn your trust and prove himself to his mentor even more. he blushes when nanami mentions bathing, though the older man says that you should be able to do it on your own, sometimes you still ask for help - something your owner could never refuse.

the puppy-sitting for lack of a better word, goes relatively smoothly. yuji gives nanami updates for when he can check his phone and on the night before your owner comes home, you video call him. nanami's face instantly relaxes as you come on screen, grinning from ear to ear. you tell him how much you love yuji (not as much as you love nanami of course), hugging his arm and pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek, and you ask if yuji can visit more.

and nanami, never able to say no when you look at him with those big eyes and pouty lips, allows yuji to spend more time with you. it works out because nanami sometimes doesn't have the energy after long work days to give you the attention you deserve and ask for. so yuji steps in. yuji has a bit more free time and a lot more energy to play with you and take you out around the city.

but then, your heat hits you when nanami is at work. he asked yuji to check on you and tell you that he'll be home an hour or so late. yuji finds you in nanami's room, hips frantically humping his pillow as you whine and cry. he immediately calls nanami and tells him what he saw (apologizing because he feels guilty, especially because he might've stared longer than he should've..), but instead of getting berated like yuji believed he would, nanami asks him if he could comfort you in some way. just until nanami could get home and properly take care of you.

thats how you ended up grinding your drippy cunt on yuji's thigh, his cock straining against his shorts as he tries desperately to not lose control. nanami said he could do anything that you asked him to (within reason) but yuji still felt guilty, felt like he was taking advantage of you. you whine and pant, drool falling from your mouth as you get off for the nth time, though it's still not enough. you're about to try begging yuji to fuck you again when nanami comes home, your ears instantly perking up as you hear the lock jingle, though you don't run towards him like yuji expected. no, you keep grinding your hot core on him.

and nanami doesn't stop you either. he asks you how you feel, big hands gentle on your overheated face as you cry out for more, tears springing in your eyes. yuji feels entirely out of place, feels like he's intruding, but you bury your face in his neck and plead for him to help you. "p-please, need to be fucked, yuji, please."

you sound so pretty, how could either of them deny you? so nanami instructs yuji on exactly what you like, his fist around his thick cock as he watches the pink haired sorcerer slide himself into you, his eyes fluttering shut at the warmth surrounding his length. yuji wants to move fast, needs to move fast with the way you're squeezing him, but nanami's stern voice makes him savor it. telling him to go slower, to make sure that you really feel everything yuji's giving you. and yuji always listens to nanami (well, as much as he can..), so he does. he slows his hips, full and lazy thrusts that make each inch feel even longer, each drag against your spongy spot even more intense. nanami tells yuji to spit on his hand and rub your clit, so yuji spits and rubs, keen eyes watching your expressions to find the right movement.

the way your pussy tightens around him when you cum makes him grit his teeth, a hiss slipping through as he tries to not bust his load. but god, you feel so good. you look so pretty, too. it feels like an eternity before your walls relax, letting him slip out. he's done this before, always pulls out and strokes his cock to finish, it's what's expected of him. but nanami's voice stops him once again.

"did i tell you to stop?"

[leonw4nter]

Don't Go To Sleep, Don't Rest Your Head

Dad!RE6!Leon x F!Reader

This is a sequel to Holding Our Dreams As You Lie To Rest. Use of D/N for Daughter's Name.

Oh, how tiny his beloved daughter was; when all 7 pounds of her could fit snugly in the nook of his arm; when she could still sit on his broad shoulders and feel the sky beneath her tiny fingers, the only weight he proudly bore on shoulders that usually held humanity’s suffering; when she would be carried home in his arms whenever she grew tired from walking. He missed being able to hold the world in his arms, push her stroller, and help her with the laces of her shoes but she’s a big girl now, ready to take on life outside of the comforts of her home, beyond her father’s reach.

“Honey, call me if you need anything okay?” Leon repeats for the nth time that day, arms crossed as he looks over her things again.

“Yes dad, I will. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” she reiterates. Her smile boasts confidence, sure of herself that she can do this away from her comfort zone.

Leon’s heart squeezes a bit, the transition from “daddy” to simply “dad��� making him feel a bit more sentimental though he swears it’s just him missing his little miracle before she’s even really left.

“Remember: no boys and no excessive drinking. Got it?” he sternly adds as he gently strokes her hair. Hair that reminded him of her mother in every way possible.

“Yes, dad. No boys and no drinking–”

“And no caving in to reckless behavior. Also, careful with sororities; they can do more harm than good. Find friends who are up to the standards you set for yourself,” Leon adds.

His daughter groans slightly before nodding, promising she won’t do any of the things Leon doesn’t want her to do.

“Dad, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, okay? I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m grown now. I’m perfectly capable of making sound decisions, I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Nonsense, you’ll always be my little girl no matter what,” Leon retorts with a teasing grin as he practically fights the tears threatening to spill from his waterline, bringing her in for one last papa bear hug before sending her off to college. Though she won’t admit it, she knew that deep down she’ll always be his little girl; he would always be there for her– for every victory and for every frustration. Just yesterday Leon was guiding her hand in writing her name for the first time; life is certainly a fickle little thing.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Not less than a few months later, Leon and his team are deployed for a mission. Leon’s faced plenty of outbreaks, always expecting the same outcome: mass casualty and the loss of members on his team but this mission unsettles him the most; the outbreak parameter encompasses where his daughter studies and currently lives in and judging from the intel provided by his superiors and news outlets, things are looking very grim for the inhabitants of that city. He’s tried phoning her multiple times and her signs of activity are short bursts, her responses being quick and short; many times she’s messaged that a call wouldn’t be safe because there’s “creatures” that react to even the faintest sound. The first time she sent that message, Leon immediately got up to pack his things and head to the headquarters to deploy himself into that mission, breaking his daughter’s rule on not letting him go on far missions. He swore to her mother that he would not let anything get to their daughter and he is bent on keeping this promise up, at the cost of his own life if this is how the situation plays out. Finally, their choppers arrive at the area and once again, everything is reminiscent of Raccoon City and Tall Oaks; cars littering the streets, burning fires scattered on the damp road, closed shops, and bloodied roads. Not a single noise can be heard and not a single sign of life can be detected; it doesn’t take dying to see Hell when you are standing right in the middle of the decay of a city, once bustling with life. Leon recognizes the place, spotting a signage with chipping paint nearby, displaying all the top locations in that city like malls, zoos, hospitals, and colleges. “Fuck, I’m only 15 minutes away from D/N.” he thinks. He contemplates moving to where her dorm is but he knows she’s smarter than that; she’s moved somewhere safer. He taught her after all, she learned from one of the best agents in the D.S.O. Mumbling a quick prayer, he reaches into his phone and tries to contact her number and prays that her ringtone doesn’t go off mid-escape. After waiting for a few minutes, she doesn’t pick up. Once more, his worry grows as he notices that she was last active 2 days ago. Their team is given instruction to start moving so they move, keeping their footfalls light and as muted as possible to avoid drawing attention to them.

Night fell and the sun rose, a warm glow cast over the shell of a city’s former glory. All night, Leon and his partner had walked around the place but not seeing any survivors, only more of the infected. Though they had wandered around the city almost all night long, there was a spot that they hadn’t gone to yet. Walking over to an abandoned apartment complex, Leon hears faint taps against a wall. The taps were rhythmic, an intentional beat created with each tap; soon, a hoarse voice calling for help could be heard, his heart lodging itself in his throat. Him and his partner split up, inspecting different floors before meeting up once again. He climbs the stairs, his heart feeling more like a ticking time bomb than an actual organ. He inspects each room, a keen eye not missing a single detail until he reaches an empty apartment with doors broken down.

“Dad!” He hears her, he hears his girl. His feet take him where he hears her voice, nothing else in the world mattering besides coming to her rescue and getting her out of that hellhole. He finally sees her and pulls her in for a hug, a hand coming up to cradle the back of her head as he presses kisses to the crown of her head. A part of him feels relieved to have found her still breathing but another part of him feels like a failure for exposing her to the world’s ugly side, a side he never dreamt of ever showing to her.

“Honey, a-are you alright?” he worriedly asks as he scans her up and down. Her clothes are torn and there's a bloody spot somewhere in her knee then he sees it: a fresh bite.

“D/N, we have to move now. There’s a vaccine that’s on trials right now and so far it’s doing good on tests so I’m going to have you vaccinated, okay? We’ll get out alive, you’ll be fine. Keep that bite covered for me, sweetie.”

He presses one more kiss against her forehead, not missing how cold she’s gotten and almost all color from her face disappearing. She looks at him through glossy eyes, nodding before wrapping her arm around his neck as he helps her out of the spot.

“I’ve located my daughter. She’s a survivor, send medical help.” he radioes.

“I’ve got you, sweetie. Stay strong, we got this right?” he softly asks with a weak grin.

“Y-yeah. W-we… do…” she mumbles, her response almost coming out in a whisper.

She doesn’t have much time left before the infection progresses; her temperature is dropping fast, her eyes are turning pinker with each moment, and her pulse is absolutely speeding so he does his best to urge her to hurry. Finally, they’re out of the building and near the extraction point.

He turns to face D/N to tell her that they’re almost there but is instead met with a low groan. A groan similar to that of the infected. One look at the greenish tinge to her skin is enough to tell him about his daughter’s current situation. D/N lifts her head up, cloudy irises zeroing in on Leon’s neck as the smell of death emanates from her bloodied mouth.

“D/N, please, hold on just a little longer– we’re almost there–” Leon persuaded her. He looked into her eyes again and saw a tiny flicker of his little girl flash on irises that grew even cloudier with each moment– scared and confused. She’s holding on, for his and her sake. She’s hanging by a thin thread but she knows she has her dad to pull her back up and deliver her from this hell; he’ll always protect her. Leon is not a man to break promises.

Despite being a few steps away from the extraction point, there isn’t a chopper or armored car in sight. D/N emits another low groan, this time much louder than earlier. With each movement of her mouth, he can hear the audible clicking of her jaw. She pulls away from him hastily, keeping her head away from his vision so he wouldn’t see the state of utter decay and decomposition her face is morphing into. The face, where her dearly departed mother lived through, is now morphing into a mass of bloody growths and putrid boils; it’s as if she’s defacing the face who carried her for a long nine months, a mockery of the love her father and mother shared. She felt immense guilt for failing to keep herself safe, putting her father into a state of more turmoil but she can’t stop it; no longer can she continue to keep the urge to dive in to a nice, warm neck at bay. Before she can get a chance to hold herself back and try to grapple with her humanity, a switch is turned. Gone is the sweet, loving, and saintly girl there was days ago.

“D/N? D/N, listen to me. Listen to my voice–” Leon says but his words are cut off when she pounces at him, teeth bared to try and yank out his innards.

Tears spill from his face, blurring his vision. How cruel must fate be that out of all the possibilities his little girl could make her exit from this world, this undignified death is what is set for her. His gun is right by his side and with a simple pull of a trigger, another infected is gone but this is not another infected, she’s his daughter. She’s his flesh and blood, the personification of two souls who loved in one. She is the parting gift of his Y/N, the maker of all his dreams. He can’t bring himself to take her out, though it’s the most merciful thing he can give her rather than have her linger for long in this form. He manages to push her away, sending her stumbling back. He reaches for his gun and keeps his finger trained on the trigger but he doesn’t pull; he can’t and doesn’t want to.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” is all he can say.

He knows that her mother is probably missing her, only having seen her grow from her place above and never actually having the chance to embrace her yet he couldn't help but grow a little selfish. Was it wrong for him to want her to stay alive? Was it wrong for him to have more time with the last thing keeping him going?

“I know you want to see our daughter but must you see her this soon? I want her around for just a little longer, honey. Can’t you do that? Can I be selfish for a bit?”, he silently pleads to her.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“This letter for my precious flower D/N from her dear dad (and mom). Only read when moving out of our home to start your life away from me :) To my dear daughter, you were anticipated and cherished before we even saw you on a monitor. Ever since I held and raised you, these sensations only seemed to have grown a thousandfold. You are my precious D/N and before you grow before my eyes (as well as your mom in heaven), there’s things I want you to know: I love your mother very much. I am not a very prayerful man but I sincerely pray with all that I have that you will find someone who will treat you the way I treated you and your mother. It won’t matter if me and whoever you will love don’t get along in terms of interests but as long as they look at you with the twinkle of love in their eyes even when you’re doing something weird, I find comfort that I can entrust your heart to them. You never have to be alone and although there’s going to be times where I won’t get this “being a dad” thing right, I’m always doing my best for you.”

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

D/N lunges towards him again and narrowly avoids her, moving out of her way as his mind grapples with one idea that seems most desirable in that moment.. D/N advances towards his direction again but he doesn’t move, craning his neck to expose more skin, in order to get a better bite. He shuts his eyes, sadly chuckling to himself. A family reunion doesn’t sound so bad. Somewhere nice, somewhere warm…

A rancid whiff of decay hits his nostril sharply, causing him to gag slightly but he keeps his neck still free for her to feast on. She bellows an ear-splitting screech but a gunshot follows after that. D/N’s zombified body falls limp against Leon but she’s still moving, shrieking. He sees his partner with his gun trained on his daughter’s head, the first shot of his being on her leg.

“This is my little girl! Don’t shoot! Don’t–”

A shot rings through the air, a ringing that will haunt him for the rest of his cursed life.

D/N finally falls limp, blood staining his gear as she lays motionless against his body. He sinks down, cradling her in his arms as he rocks her back and forth. Her body is curled up against him, just like when she was but a tiny baby. To Leon, she still is. Always was.

“My baby,” he mutters as he lets choked sobs free. He cries the hardest he’s ever done; he cries for himself, his daughter, his wife, his broken promises, for all the parents that have seen their child die in their arms. For the life his daughter never got to fully live out.

“My little D/N. Daddy’s here, daddy’s got you. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe now. You can rest my beautiful angel.”

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“You’re going to see a whole lot of interesting places and by now, you’ve figured that you and I are tiny things in a grand scheme of things; life is interesting not because of the comforts but because of the challenges, the experiences you get from these things. I’ve always hated being away from your mother when she was still pregnant with you but when I was out there, I thought about her and the beautiful little girl she’s carrying in her belly and suddenly I had a reason to live, to keep fighting. I had to do what I did so that the future you live in will be peaceful; you won’t have to be afraid of monsters under your bed or monsters in your closet. Know that even when you’re a big girl, it’s still okay to cry and it’s definitely okay to ask for help. Don’t push your emotions away and feel them; don’t resort to alcohol, trust me– you’re going to harm yourself and the people who care about you. Indulge in some fun, it won’t hurt to be happy but don’t indulge too much– too much of something is bad (just as too little of something).

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

9 years ago.

D/N’s team was losing by 5 points, her team rattled and tense from all the pressure dawning in on them. It was kind of funny, seeing all these nine-year-olds faces go from smiles and giggles to knitted eyebrows and deep frowns. Everyone’s uniforms were dirty, dark soil staining every kid’s formerly white knee-socks, much to the dismay of some mothers on the benches tasked with laundry in their respective homes– not that Leon cared, he can always get his sweet daughter a new pair; all that matters is that she isn’t afraid to get a little sweaty and play rough.

By now, every parent invested in this game is standing up with their hands on their hips and heads tilted towards the scoreboard. The air feels electric, cheering and chanting from both sides growing louder with each passing moment. Then, a kid from the opposing team hits a home run and scores for her team which triggers the parents of the opposing team to express their joy at the success. D/N doesn’t look too disappointed but she doesn’t look too happy either, just very tired. Her eyes scan the crowd, looking for her dad. Chris had to send her to the game since Leon was still on a mission earlier on that day but luckily, he managed to get it done fast and zipped for the stadium. Finally she spots him, her dad waving at her from the benches and quickly making his way down the stairs and towards her with his arms opened wide.

“Daddy!” she beams. “You’re here!”

She drops her glove and rushes to him, her own little arms opened. He catches up to her, bending down to scoop her into a bone-crushingly, breath-stealing hug. Mud and bits of grass will probably stick on his navy blue polo, the mud drying up and causing a stubborn stain but he could not careless; what’s there to worry about when D/N is all smiles and pure happiness?

“Yeah, I’m here honey. I can’t miss your big game, just couldn’t do it,” he responds while still hugging her. He pulls away before taking out a towel from a bag he brought, wiping her sweaty forehead. Flyaways are everywhere in her braided hair, other smaller strands sticking to her forehead; some dust is also sticking to her flushed face but she looks ecstatic nevertheless.

“Daddy I lost!” she exclaims. Not a single trace of defeat is on her face– she doesn’t even look the least bit exhausted from all that running and catching.

“It’s okay, sweetpea. It’s alright, we’re all still very proud of you,” the “we” in question being her uncles, aunts, Leon, and Y/N.

“You did great out there, champ! You were absolutely speeding back there, you looked really cool!” he comments as he throws her two thumbs up. D/N’s eyes sparkle, chest puffing with confidence upon hearing from Leon about how well she performed in that game.

“Thanks, dad! But I’m really tired, my legs feel like jelly. Ice cream?” she suggests as she throws him the most soft-looking, puppy-dog eyes she can muster. The thing is, she didn’t need to do puppy eyes when he already planned to take her out for some celebratory sweets.

“Of course! Anything for my pro baseball player,” he responds. Standing back up, he puts the towel back in his bag and puts some alcohol in her hands. Taking her tinier ones in his, they make their way out of the field and into the car, where she’ll enjoy her sweet treat.

The loss of her team doesn’t matter when to Leon’s eyes, she will always be his big winner.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“My hands are getting a little sore (sorry honey, I’m not the biggest fan of writing) and I’m running out of the most flowery words to say but basically, the main takeaways of this entire letter are simple: I love you, I’d do anything for you, and that I wish you would choose me to be your dad in every universe. In every twisted reality, in the next life and the lives after those, you would give me the highest honor of having you call me ‘dad’. Well, if I’m not going to be your dad then I guess the most I can contribute for you is that hopefully, you will have the most patient, kind, and understanding dad ever. He’ll be able to provide for you and your mother’s needs and will be willing to let down his life for the two of you, at any cost. Don’t worry though, I might watch over you as a tiny little firefly. That’s all and don’t you ever, ever, ever forget that you always have me and your mother and you’re always welcome home. All my love, your dad (and mom).”

NOTE - I finally finished this after 2 days of working!!!!!! It ended up a little longer than I intended it to so I'm a lil sorry for that... I'm not sure if you guys prefer medium-length fics to longer fics so just feel free to put your preferences in the comments :) Also this is my first RE6!Leon fic so yeah there's that!!!!!!! Gallagher from HSR kinda badd... like... he kinda hot... I don't play HSR but bro he looks so hot, they better make this man 46 like PLEASE. Anyways, that's it and thanks for reading my fics!!!!!! I <333 YOUUU

The chain dividers are from @cafekitsune , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[jasontoddsdarling]

snow angels

— casts: jason todd x reader, aurora todd (my kid oc)

— words: 1,515

— tags: fluff, winter, family fic, family fluff, kid fic

— summary: It's Aurora Todd first winter and you two decide she should experience the ultimate first time under the snow: building some snowmen and one or two castles. And apparently also snow angels along the way.

Heavy snowfall from yesterday—that kept everyone inside the house all day long—resulted in a thick layer of snow in the backyard. You, Jason, and your fourteen months old daughter, Aurora, included. You two even built her a blanket fortress from the pile of her soft baby blankets. She was very fond of it.

Today, Jason and you decide to bring her outside. 

It's her first winter, thus the first time she will experience the snowfall that blanketed the city like icing sugar dusted on a beignet.

Earlier, Jason had shoveled the snow that piled up in front of the front and back door. Thankfully, it wasn't blocking the doors that bad or else you'd feel bad about not helping him—even though he had insisted on doing it himself because she was cranky waking up and you'd have to feed her.

Now, though, your daughter is so awake and definitely not cranky anymore.

Jason has put his shovel back to the garage and changed his clothes to newer one—he had managed to sweat and drenched his sweater, and he's currently sporting a new sweater that matches the ones that you and your daughter wear.

“Papa.”

You put Aurora on her colorful foam puzzle mat. Jason, who is just getting out of your bedroom, smiling when he spots her.

“Who's going to play with snow today?”

Jason sits down on the edge of the mat and he beckons his daughter to his lap.

Aurora enthusiastically walks toward him—with her brand new baby boots that you just put on her, a big smile with her four small teeth showing.

“Nou.”

She perches her little legs on one of his thighs. You gasp and cannot help but grin. Did she just say a new word just now? Nou. Snow.

Jason beams. You can see his eyes shine with proudness.

“Yeah, snow. Snow! You, Mama, and Papa will go outside and we can build some snow castles and snowmen. Now, you need to wear these warm mittens first, okay?”

You observe the two loves of your life while packing a little thermos of jasmine tea to drink outside. These two always without fail put a smile on your face.

And oh, Jason is wearing gloves with the same color theme too because, of course, he would not want to be excluded in the matching outfits shenanigans of you and your daughter. We've to match as a cute little family, Jason had said so almost a year ago—after for the third time you and Aurora had matching outfits and he was being excluded; which in your defense, most husbands don't really care about matching outfits with their baby daughter, but you learnt it wasn't the case with Jason.

Jason tugs Aurora's mittens to make sure it's right before holding her in his arms and standing up, walking towards you who stands beside the dining table.

“Come on, Mama.” He squishes his cheek on Aurora's, whispering to pretend as if it's your daughter who’s saying that.

Aurora giggles. “Mama, mama.”

You bend down a little to kiss her rosy cheeks—and Jason steals a kiss from you when you stand straight after that—and the three of you are ready to mess with snow.

Jason has finished building one snow castle just now. It's a cool snow castle, in your opinion—considering he's only using some plastic snow toys for kids that you got for Aurora.

The kid in question sits on your lap, and is currently playing with the scallop shell plastic mold and making her nth crooked shell shaped snows with so much interest, completely oblivious to what her dad has been doing.

“Rora, look!” You pat her tiny leg gently. “Look. Papa has built you a little snow castle!”

You point your finger at the 1 meter tall snow figure. When Aurora looks up from her stuff, her eyes brighten and she moves her arms and legs excitedly, wiggling and trying to stand up from your lap.

You help her stand on her own little feet, her tiny boots scrunch the snow.

“Papa. Nou.”

Jason—who just put a twig on the center of the castle as a fake flag—grins. He waved his hands, beckoning her to walk towards him and the snow castle.

“Papa, papa.”

Aurora walks giddily.

You walk at a snail's pace to ensure that she steps safely, because you know sometimes babies and toddlers can be quite clumsy, and your daughter is no exception.

Aurora is two meters before landing herself in his dad's arm when, instead, she's landing backwards on a pile of fluffy snow with a very dull thud.

“Rora!”

Jason and you immediately shout at the same time and in less than two seconds both of you are in front of her.

Aurora is silent for a second, that you are almost panicking, but then she bursts into a fit of giggles. She moves her arms and legs in ups and downs motion, unknowingly making herself a snow angel.

“Mama, Papa.”

Aurora waves her mittens clad tiny hands. She wants you two to do what she's doing.

“Well, I guess we're making snow angels too.” 

“I know. I am just glad she isn't crying.”

You release your breath you know you were holding.

You lie down beside your daughter on one side and Jason on her other side and you two proceed to make your own snow angels.

After it is quite deep, Jason gets up from where he's lying down and takes some photos of you and Aurora with his phone and instant camera he hides inside his deep coat pockets.

“One, two, three. Smile!”

And so, the next ten minutes, Jason takes a lot of photos of you and Aurora in front of the snow castle.

“These are so cute.”

It's 8:30 pm. You and Jason just put Aurora to sleep in her room, you're lying on bed with your head propped on a pillow and Jason's shoulder.

You scroll on Jason's gallery, currently landing on the selfie of you, Jason, and little Aurora in front of the snow castle and the two snowmen on each side of the castle—snowmen that later the three of you built after snow angels' antics. The snowmen are guards, Jason had said.

Jason's shuffling and looking at the printed photos he (and you) took with the instant camera, while occasionally brushing your raven black hair that fans the pillow.

“Lovely snow angels.” Jason mutters.

You laugh. You immediately scroll towards one picture of the three of you as snow angels. “Yeah, that one was cute too. It's fortunate that you brought your tripod outside so we could take a photo with the three of us as snow angels.”

“I meant this.”

Jason shows you one printed photo from the instant camera.

“Oh.”

It is a photo of you and Aurora as snow angels, the sunlight reflecting on the snow and bouncing a very faint light on your smiling faces.

“That’s…” You almost can't say a thing. “So beautiful.”

“I know.”

“You're very talented, Jason.” You look up and give him a soft smile.

“It's not as much talent as what's the subject of the photography.”

“Hey.” You can't help but chide him.

“It's true.”

“It's not.”

“It is.” Jason says with a finality. He puts all—the photos except the one on your hand—on the nightstand beside him.

“Both of you are just the loveliest snow angels. My literal angels.”

“Oh, Jason…”

“My only angels. You and Aurora.”

That's it.

You drag his face towards you with one of your hands behind his neck. You kiss him deeply and slowly. You can feel his pulse beneath your fingers and run your hand up and down his nape.

Jason shudders and he kisses you deeper, if it's possible, and you let out a small moan.

Jason shudders and he kisses you deeper, if it's possible, and you let out a small moan.

At last, you separate your faces from each other to inhale some air.

“Jason, I love you so much.” You caress his jawline, looking at his perfect shade of viridian eyes.

“I love you more.” He looks at you as fondly. Sometimes it's hard to breathe everytime he does that.

“I love you more and more.”

“I love you–”

And that's where you two hear a cry from Aurora's room. She's awake.

“I think trying to tell us she's agreed that I love you more.” Jason snickers.

You huff, moving your body to get up from the bed. “She's trying to tell us she wants to co-sleep with us again tonight.”

“That's fair too. Still, I love you more and more and more, though.”

“It’s me, actually, but I will let you win.”

You almost land your feet on the floor when Jason immediately stands up.

“Let me get her or I love you more and more and more.”

You can't believe your husband's antics but you smile ear to ear nonetheless.

“Fair. Go get her, Papabear.”

“On it, Mamabear.”

Jason shouts I love you more and more and more when he's in another room with Aurora's “Papa” accompanying it.

mariea's note: guess who decide to go all in and repost the fic from my ao3 here? anyway here's the og appearance of my jason todd's kid oc aurora "rora" todd 🤍

[sterina-sims]

Sul sul! I'm living for your medieval charter posts. Could you please explain how the challenge works? And possibly how to set up such a flawless medieval style neighborhood? Thank you 😃

Sul sul! 😊 Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you're enjoying my medieval charter posts. Ok, this is a daunting question, but I'll do my best to explain how the challenge works!

How the Challenge Works

First off, here's the MTS thread from the original creator of the challenge. I've also re-uploaded the document here for convenience/easy reading.

The Medieval Charter Challenge is all about building a medieval-style community from the ground up. You start with a small group of sims and gradually expand your neighborhood, adding different types of lots and families as you meet specific goals. Here's a quick rundown:

Create Your Founders: In CAS, create a Royal Steward (single Sim; they won't be played until a monarch is crowned), 4 peasant families, 2 yeoman families, and 1 gentry family (the head of this household will be the Squire). Move any secondary adult males into their own homes within the same social station, and assign farming and artisan trades accordingly. Create 1 group of 4-8 adult males (military barracks) and another of 4-8 adult females (almshouse), as a pool of eligible sims for marriage.

Seasonal Play and Taxes: Play each family for one season, stopping at the first Quarter Day (this is the first day of a season) to assess and pay taxes, tithes, rent, fees, and fines to the Royal Steward using Christianlov’s Wallet Controller.

Growing Your Settlement: Track the Treasury Funds. When the total reaches $5000, add a communal well, village green, and hedge tavern. At $8000, add a church with a cemetery and a weekly market.

Leveling Up: The levels are as follows: settlement (starting point) -> hamlet -> village -> town -> charter city. Each level has fiscal and infrastructural requirements, as seen above. As you continue through the challenge, you collect enough taxes to build the necessary lots and add more families, thereby growing the settlement. The challenge is completed once you reach the level of charter city and crown a monarch.

Setting up Your Medieval Hood

Use the Lot Bin: With regards to building, create 1 peasant hovel, 1 yeoman house/farm, 1 gentry manor, and so on. Save these residential lots to the Lot Bin for future instances when you'll need the required type of home. There is A LOT of building that goes with the challenge, so save yourself the trouble by doing this. The lots can be personalized for each household afterwards.

Communal Spaces (pro tip!): This is my nth time doing this challenge, and so, I suggest staring off with a village green or communal well (or both). It goes against the original MCC rules, but I say this because it gives your sims can have a place to meet and mingle with other settlers, and a break from monotony of staring at the same four walls.

Hood Decor: Hood decor is truly fabulous and can completely change the look of your neighborhood. I would suggest deco grass, deco rocks and cliffs, deco fields and/or flower fields, especially if excessive tree use slows down your game.

Custom Content: Invest in some good medieval custom content, including clothing, furniture, and architecture. Sites like Plumb Bob Keep, Mod The Sims, and Tumblr creators have lots of medieval-themed downloads. I have listed the majority of the mods, hacks, and custom content on my side blog's resource page.

I hope this helps you get started! Feel free to ask if you have more questions, and I'd love to see your progress if you decide to give it a try. Happy simming! 😃

[imaredshirt]

“I should have killed you that night in Mexico City,” Ernesto says to Héctor as he holds up a half-empty bottle of tequila. “Should have killed you the very moment I had the chance.”

“Ah, you wouldn’t have had the guts,” Héctor says without missing a beat.

He never takes Ernesto’s grouchy threat seriously. Not when his friend has growled and grumbled and groaned the same empty words for years over any little inconvenience or annoyance he blames Héctor for.

When Héctor wakes him up to early to practice – “I'll kill you if you poke me again,” Ernesto gripes.

Héctor drinks all the coffee before Ernesto can get to it – “I should have killed you when I had the chance,” Ernesto whines in the middle of the kitchen.

Héctor embarrasses him in font of the Rivera family with another sappy tale of their childhood when Ernesto had moved Heaven and Earth to make sure his hermanito had something to eat at night – “Gah! I should have let you starve!” Ernesto  groans into his hands before adding a thousand embellishments to the story to make himself seem grander because his ego is just that big.

It’s an empty threat. It makes Héctor laugh sometimes.

Like now. He chortles to himself and nudges Ernesto’s empty shot glass closer to him. The movement sends Ernesto’s losing hand of playing cards sliding to the edge of the table. “Go on, you loser, drink up!”

Ernesto grumbles and pours himself his nth shot of clear liquor for the night.

Héctor can see Imelda over Ernesto’s shoulder, sitting at her desk by the window, head bowed over neatly arranged sheets of drawing paper. She’s singing to herself under breath as she works, sketching improvements to existing boot designs. A strand of silver hair falls over her brow.

Héctor begins to hum along to her beautiful voice until he hears Ernesto mutter, “I was planning to, you know.”

“Huh?” Héctor turns to him.

“Kill you,” Ernesto says. He’s shuffling the cards, lips twitching into something that’s not quite a snarl but close to it. “I planned it all for that night you left.”

Behind him, the sound of Imelda’s brothers laughing with Coco in the garden only vaguely catches Héctor’s attention. He leans forward on crossed arms, eyes the cards that Ernesto flicks across the table towards him. “The night I left?”

“When you left me in that cheap hotel in Mexico City ten years ago,” Ernesto says. “And took all your songs and your pinche guitar with you.” He’s done dealing out the cards when he meets Héctor’s eyes again. “I was going to kill you and take all of it for myself.”

Héctor narrows his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. With rat poison, of all things,” Ernesto says. “But luck wasn’t on my side that night.”

Silence.

And then, as if on cue, they laugh. Héctor hugs his middle and tries not to send his cards flying. Ernesto’s shoulders are shaking and his head is bowed, laughing in that wheezy way of his that he’s only ever comfortable doing in the presence of people close to him.

Héctor says through his laughter, “I really piss you off that much, eh?”

“Every day,” Ernesto says. “Back then and even now – even now I still want to poison you.”

Any other man, and Héctor would blame the tequila for the harsh words. But this is Ernesto. The man just says things like that sometimes. Even his ridiculous jokes -even ones about abandoned murder attempts, apparently- sound charming with the way he speaks.

“You can try. But would the world really forgive you if you silenced this beautiful face forever?” Héctor gestures at his face with a flourish and gasps when Ernesto flicks a card at his nose. “Hey! Ouch!”

“Forget it,” Ernesto grouches. “I think if I try, Imelda will kill me a dozen times over.”

“I would enjoy that,” Imeda says without looking up from her work.

“I know.”

“Ah, well,” Héctor says. He pours them both shots of tequila and holds his glass up. “To failed plans and bright futures. Or, at least,” he adds, grinning lopsidedly at his friend. “At least to another ten years before you try again?”

He's had enough of the joke. He wants to end the night on a good note.

Ernesto stares at him for a long second before rolling his eyes with a scoff and raising his glass. “To bright futures and no more poison, I suppose. You’re too annoying to even get rid of at this point.”

“To being too annoying to get rid of!” Héctor crows and clinks their glasses together.

They drink, and get back to their game. Outside, the sun sets on a quiet evening at the Rivera home where everyone, at least for a good long time, lives happily.

[ddostoyevskyy]

❝𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍❞

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈: Law of Irrationality, 𝐈!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... a bit emotional, ig

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... hi. I've been inactive for a while, lmao. I miss being a writer sooo much, and things have been not really going too well for me as a writer, but I hope I get back to the track again. Short but quite emotional since I feel emotional these past few days:) Also, thank you for 800 followers! 🤍

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒... 1.6k words.

SERIES MASTERLIST

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄, 𝐈, 𝐈𝐈, 𝐈𝐈𝐈, 𝐈𝐕, 𝐕, 𝐕𝐈, 𝐕𝐈𝐈

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams; no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Ranpo stared at the newspaper in his hands with a subtle pout as he reads; carefully, every detail, words and sentences, those punctuation marks and even the firmness and refine remarks and humor — it was all familiar. He could hear your firm voice, mixed with a quite intimidating tone yet smooth pace; not too hurried and not too slow. He could even imagine the way your eyes blinks and how your lips moves; the way you can't quite handle an eye contact too long so you would roam your eyes around the room as you speaks.

He knew you all too well; he's a witness of your struggles, a victim of your ability and reason of your beliefs.

So, why do you feel so different right now?

His stare is definitely making you feel anxious as though he's reading every bit of you even how your shoulders rise and relaxes as you breathe. He knew you despise being stared at, but he can't help it. You feel different as though the seasons changes. The sparks in your eyes were definitely on another level now too. The youth were no longer in your face, even the fear that often flashes your eyes — although the fidget of your fingers were still there, a habit that definitely stays, you feel so difficult to read.

Ranpo knew you. After all these years, it was still you. Your presence is enough to irk him in a way and your silence felt heavy on his shoulder — just like before.

This feels suffocating.

"You seem irritated," You voiced out, catching his drifting attention to reality as his eyes flickers into yours. "What's on your mind?"

"You're a mind reader, why ask?" His voice were laced with a hint of annoyance and you swear you heard a 'hmph' when he raised the newspaper on his hands on his face that's out of your vision so you wouldn't see the pout forming on his lips.

"I don't use my ability that much anymore, it's giving me too much medications," You reply with a sigh. Ranpo lowered the newspaper away from his face as his eyes peak through and it bores in your figure. "Besides, aren't I called here for a consultation? My time is precious at these time of the day."

Ranpo frowned, rolling his eyes and dropping the newspaper on his table. He leaned on his seat before stretching his arms over his head with a satisfied hum and you watched him in silence.

"Fine! Let's now move on, then." He finally agrees and you sigh in relief. Being seated with nothing to do at all is not for you, atleast not anymore. You were used to strolled around the city or stuck in your office chair with your coffee for the nth time.

"Kenjiiiiiii, did you find another case on the streets?" Ranpo called out for the yellow haired boy and you glance over with a raised eyebrow. On the streets? Why is he making it sounds like a child play? Although, their occupation and purpose in the city had a huge difference to yours — this is not your playground to play despite fighting over the same rights. You knew how things works at the Agency, and your ability is definitely not applicable in any way if shit happens.

You don't wanna hold the gun, simply when you can't pull the trigger.

"Yes, Ranpo-san. I'll give you the details." Kenji answers with a bright smile. The boy definitely looks like the youngest member of the Agency and he has this really positive aura and outgoing personality.

"Come on, now, Atsushi. You go there with Ranpo-san. It would be your first intel too!"

Hearing their endless conversation, you stood up to ease the tension wavering in your heart. You were not a fan of interacting when your mind’s somewhere along the lines. Both heart and mind should connect — and you’ve been like that not until recently. Meeting Fukuzawa Yukichu — the one who raised and protected you and on your side no matter what, and Ranpo Edogawa — that man — the boy you grew up with; both of them made a huge complicated waves in your system that only them can waver and fix.

You already tortured yourself enough to forget everything from the past. But as you stumble upon the president’s office; the Agency members seems to be unbothered by the fact that you’re roaming around the office and they’ve only met you until today — your heart tightens in your chest.

Parenting 101, 2006 edition.

The book were neatly placed on the right side of the table, as if it was supposed to be there.

You can’t do this.

Your eyes roamed over the office, the shades of colors were all so familiar to you, the pleasing aesthetic made your heart calm, but there’s a clog on your throat.

You can’t do this —

“(Name).” A hand came down to your shoulder, warm and comforting and you finally snapped back to reality, eyes wavering and mouth gaping as you let out a breath you never knew you’re holding. His deep voice were surprisingly familiar to your ears.

I‘m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry — I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean everything I did —

“I apologize if I stepped inside without permission.” You muttered, turning around, completely brushing off the warm hand as you face the President with formalities in your stoic face despite having your mind in turmoil. His grey eyes seems to be reading you like an open book and you hate how you let yourself be read — you let yourself be vulnerable again under the gaze of this man.

The man you called dad once.

“You don’t need to apologize.” (you were just a child). The lump in your throat tightens and your eyes watered as you stared at him and his lips softly parted when he stared at you.

You look exactly like that; back then, a few years ago, when you were lost in the world with blindfold over your eyes — and his arms loosens on his side as he gently raised them up, inviting you in his embrace and your tears finally welled up; you remembered exactly how you cry on his embrace back then, like a child you are, asking and seeking for a comfort of a man you called dad in the midsts of your tears.

And, right now, a few years after, you were back on his arms as he welcomes you again with the same warmth; he’s always been warm, you were just not too used to it. Your lips quiver in a quiet sob as he gently pats your back, basking you in silence you wanted — just like before — just like you always thought of home.

Amidst between; between the warmth — the cold come peering in between as though the storm never ended in your mind. It was a comforting silence of home until it became a quiet storm yet you opted to stay on his embrace; even though you saw what the future beholds — atleast right now, you could hold him a little longer.

This ability is a curse. Despite its right to find itself in the comfort of truth and prevails things downhill, you never use your ability right, after all.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All Rights Reserved 2024 © ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.

[sharky857]

A couple of personal + random takes on Warframe 1999

Take #1: "Who stole my kinepage? >:/"

Answer: Kalymos.

Kalymos stole it, Your Honour. Here's my line of thoughts about it:

Kalymos steals a Kinepage, because kitties sometimes are kleptomaniacs like that, and sneaks it back to the old Entrati labs (probably where she used to keep her widdle stash of stolen stuff back in the days).

Loid finds the kinepage somewhere in the labs, perhaps while trying to play the nth game of "where in the space-time is Albrecht Entrati" (totally not a pun of "where in the world is Carmen Sandiego").

Also: Loid can't NOT see that the new resident of the Sanctum Anatomica has the same device in her hands and starts connecting a few dots.

In the end, Loid thinks that the device could be perhaps of use more to the Tenno than to himself, leading to the giftie at the end of the Nothing Burger Quest™️.

Take #2: Höllvania's origins

It has been revealed that Höllvania is a city-state.

My totally-not-farfetched-at-all take here is that Albrecht(n't?) Entrati(sn't?) may have somehow created said city-state (or seized an existing one for himself) for only one purpose: use the entire city as his personal laboratory.

With what little we know so far about that place, I couldn't explain otherwise why he seemed to be "worshipped" by the locals; I don't think that the reason "he promised a cure" alone could do it. Not to mention, my good pal @evol-astraea pointed out that Eleanor, in the gameplay demo, has a line where she refers to Entrati as to "a crownless king, clad in gold", sooo... 🤔👀

[tainted-liquor]

'BRAINFREEZE! ...⋆˙⟡♡ ft. Pavitr Prabhakar

...⋆｡° ✮

ingredients: sugar, kisses, and lots of smiles!

TWs: Dumb teens, cussin', I think thats it?

A/N: Inspired by me n my man ngl...

You buried your face in your blankets, listening to the quiet patter of rain against your window and the slow crackle of wood from your dimly lit wood-wick candle. You checked your pretty pink alarm clock, mentally groaning at the time. It was already 10:27, and you still couldn't find it in you to get some sleep. It wasn't like it was a school day or anything, but you wanted to somewhat fix your sleep schedule so you wouldn't complain about feeling tired 24/7. You huffed as you rolled over, suffocating yourself in your mattress as you thought about food.

Warm and flavorful instant ramen, sweet sugary Oreos, and a nice cold cherry and cola-flavored Icee. Well fuck, now you were just drooling on your pillow. So what did you do? You flipped over on your bed, snatching your phone from off its charging pad, and texted your loving boyfriend! You tapped away on your screen, fumbling with the buttons to unlock your lock screen. "hey pavi!!"

"HIIIII ML<33 What's up?" he responded nearly immediately.

"HEYYYYY!!! nth I just wanted to see if you wanted to get icee's w me" you replied immediately.

"Icee? What's that?"

"Be at my house in 10 minutes bru cuz ain't no way."

"I'll be there in 3!!"

You giggled, quickly putting on a light sweatshirt over your tank top so you could actually walk to the store. You scooped your box braids out of the back of your hoodie, moving them in front of your shoulders so they weren't tickling the back of your neck and shoulders. You rubbed your eyes, suddenly feeling that drowsiness kick in as soon as you went to walk downstairs. "See. this that bullshit" You muttered in annoyance, still fully set on walking to the nearby 7/11. You sat on the couch for a couple of minutes, playing Candy Crush on your phone as you waited for the familiar rhythmic knock on the door.

You jogged to the doorway, grabbing your keys and slipping on your black Doc Martens before swinging open your front door. You were met with a smiling Pavitr, umbrella in hand, and aura radiating pure bliss. "How did you even get here so fast? Don't you literally live a whole city away?" you asked, tilting your head in confusion as you made your way out of the house, locking the door behind you. Pav quickly angeled the umbrella over you, laughing quietly with a 'damn' expression graced across his features. "I caught a taxi! And then I ran the rest of the way!" he nodded, quickly intertwining your hand with his as you led the way to the mini-mart.

You nodded slowly, pushing the thought to the back of your mind and skipping along the sidewalk, kicking up rainwater and making small splashes in the small puddles across the concrete. "I still can't believe you've never had an Icee before!" you whisper-shouted, giggling at the end of your sentence as you tugged Pavitr's hand along with you slightly. "Is it really that surprising?" He giggled, pulling you closer under the umbrella and resting his chin on your shoulder. "I don't really go to convenience stores, so I've just never come across an Icee!" he explained with a small shrug. "This it right here," you said as you pointed towards the fluorescent white 7/11, squinting at its brightness before making your way into the establishment.

You made your way down the snacks aisle, telling Pav to go grab some snacks so you could pay for them after you got your slushies. You grabbed a cup of shin ramen, double stuff Oreos, and sour gummy worms before locating Pav in the candy aisle, bearing a pack of gum, a peach tea, and a big bag of Tommy's topical gummy bears. "You ready? Aight, c'mon let's go get these slushies" you beamed, eagerly gliding towards the beautiful rainbow machine. There were about 5 flavors; Cherry, Blue Raspberry, Coca-Cola, dragonfruit Fanta, and Piña Colada. "Alright, I don't think I need to show you? But you know how to pour these right?" You asked as you grabbed a large cup, jamming the spherical lid on top of the rim and examining your options carefully.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got it! What flavor are you getting?" He asked as he repeated the process of plucking a cup from its holder and jamming on the lid. You thought for a moment, before lining up your cup with the cherry dispenser, "Ima get cherry and cola...So I can get cherry cola" you replied shortly after. "What are you gonna get love?" You asked as you turned the lever, watching your cup fill with that bright red sugary sweetness. "I wanna get all of them...but I think I'll do Blue Raspberry and cherry," Pav shrugged as he poured the blue slushie into his cup. You swapped places after a couple seconds, giggling as you drank some slushie straight from the spout.

"You're gonna get us in trouble!" Pav whisper-shouted in between giggles as you wiped your mouth clean with the back of your hand. You widened your eyes slightly as you grinned, mouthing a silent "shh!" as you continued to fill your cup. When you finally finished overloading your slushies, you went to the counter and paid for everything like the amazing girlfriend that you are! You both wasted zero time in gulping down the slushies, immediately wincing at the newfound pain in your skull.

"FUCK! BRAINFREEZE!"

taglist:

@ashsostrange @chessbox @janaeby @fivestardior @an1bara @bachirasegoist

[callunavulgari]

"The kingdom come, the rise, the fall The setting sun above it all I just wanna be somebody to you"

Heather’s Top 50 Songs of 2023

thumbs — sabrina carpenter // dragostea din tei — feuerschwanz // edge of midnight — miley cyrus & stevie nicks // warrior of the mind — jorge rivera-herrans // happier than ever — kelly clarkson // flowers — miley cyrus // see you again — miley cyrus // six — six cast // fairytale — joel sunny // middle of the night — elley duhe // our light — lyn // it's terror time again — sesamoid // eat your young — hozier // step into darkness — dubkiller // got you — ga eun // just a man — jorge rivera-herrans // labour — paris paloma // the tornado — owl city // green green grass — george ezra // suzume — radwimps // can't take my eyes off you — boys town gang // survive — jorge rivera-herrans // mermaids— florence & the machine // unknown/Nth — hozier // we didn't start the fire — fall out boy // hold me like a grudge — fall out boy // where is the justice — death note musical // 30/90 — andrew garfield // everyday — buddy holly // i'm just ken — ryan gosling // what was i made for? — billie eilish // speechless — naomi scott // son of nyx — hozier // damage gets done — hozier & brandi carlile // paradise valley — honey and the sting // stand by me — florence & the machine //  my prayer — the platters // baby don't hurt me — david guetta // quietly yours — birdy // someone to you  — banners // one more time — blink 182 // adelaide — ramblewood // i'm just your problem — lur // you're gonna be okay — ashh blackwood // mr lonely  — angel olsen // now and then — the beatles // vois sur ton chemin — bennett // history is now — natalie holt // purpose is glorious — natalie holt // the power — borislav slavov

short version | long version | spotify wrapped

short version is the link to what you see here, my helpfully abridged version. long version will lead you to the 141 song, 8 hour and 17 minute supercut playlist which i’ve been slowly cultivating since early january. spotify wrapped will lead you to a mixture of the long and the short version, which is honestly pretty accurate but does not helpfully represent my ear worms of the week. i also skewed my data for it by listening to the spiritfarer and hollow knight soundtracks on repeat to ease the wedding anxieties.

also fun fact, the cover for this year's mix is actually a picture of the tree outside our room during our wedding day.

under the cut are the lyrics that really resonated with me and only a little personal tidbits from this year, because let's be real, nobody cares.

i. thumbs || sabrina carpenter 'cause that's just the way of the world it never ends 'til the end and then you start again

This one was playing as we left the florence concert late last year and dogged me all through january and february last winter. ii. dragostea din tei || feuerschwanz Alo, salut, sunt eu un haiduc Si te rog iubirea mea primeste fericirea

Yes, it's a metal cover. Yes, I found it on tiktok. Yes, I love it unconditionally.

iii. edge of midnight || miley cyrus & stevie nicks The midnight sky is the road I'm takin' Head high up in the clouds (oh, oh)

There's THREE Miley Cyrus songs on here this year. Nuts. I really loved cranking this while driving home from Newark back when I was still hybrid. Much serotonin in those gray winter months. iv. warrior of the mind || jorge rivera-herrans & teagan earley Maybe one day they'll follow me and we'll Make a greater tomorrow, then they'll see Is it REALLY a surprise that Epic grabbed me by the throat this year?

v. happier than ever || kelly clarkson You ruined everything good Always said you were misunderstood Made all my moments your own Just fucking leave me alone I actually ended up hearing the Billie Eilish version of this first, but I ended up reading a post about how Billie's version was for the shitty boyfriend's of the world but Kelly's was to her mom and just. That resonated SO so much that it's stuck with me ever since. I have a complicated relationship with mine. She didn't come to my wedding this year. Anyway, definitely screamed this in my car on long drives. vi. flowers || miley cyrus i can buy myself flowers write my name in the sand

I need to preface this with the fact that my partner and I have a wonderful relationship that I wouldn't trade for the world. This song is still a fucking banger. vii. see you again || miley cyrus I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim I have a heart that will never be tamed

Third Miley song of the year, I believe all ear worms before March. I ended up getting in a Tiktok loop of body transformations set to this song while I was really getting into working with weights. It was great inspiration that I DEARLY needed that early into things. The song is also incredibly catchy. viii. six || six cast we're one of a kind, no category too many years lost in his story I honestly feel like we saw this musical last year but this song in particular dogged me into this one. ix. fairytale || joel sunny *instrumental*

Found this instrumental version of a much beloved song due to a random discover weekly and loved it so much that I seriously considered using it in my wedding. x. middle of the night || elley duhe Come, lay me down 'Cause you know this 'Cause you know this sound

Shh, it's the horny booktok song. I won't be shamed. xi. our light || lyn 夢を夢と気づいた夜 君を見つめ瞼を閉じる 温もりも重ねた手も声も 目覚めれば微睡みへと消えて

I have been trying to finish persona 5 royal since 2020. this year, i finally beat it. xii. it's terror time again || sesamoid Oh, you just might die of fright, It's a terrifying time.

Yes, it's a Scooby Doo remix. yes, I love it. xiii. eat your young || hozier I'm starving, darling Let me put my lips to something Let me wrap my teeth around the world The horniest Hozier song since Take Me to Church in my humble opinion. I adored it immediately. xiv. step into darkness || dubkiller Blood on your hands, maybe you're dreaming? Do you believe, nightmares you're seeing?

Tiktok? xv. got you || ga eun Will you promise you’ll rescue me Take me from eternal loneliness

This was the theme song (I think?) to a Korean drama we were obsessed with for a little bit and I don't think we ever finished? Song is interesting though and sticks with you. xvi. just a man || jorge rivera-herrans When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster? More Epic, because I am a mythology loving twelve year old at heart. The many, MANY tiktoks to this particular song did not help.

xvii. labour || paris paloma The capillaries in my eyes are bursting If our love died, would that be the worst thing?

It's catchy. I had more typed out but tumblr fucking ate it, so fuck it.

xviii. the tornado || owl city A little rain never hurt no one, so I kept pressin' on And I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

Another song I played very loudly while driving home.

xix. green green grass || george ezra Green, green grass, blue, blue sky You better throw a party on the day that I die

Dancy song!

xx. suzume || radwimps ル・ル・ルルルルル・ルルル・ルルルルルル ル・ル・ルルルルル・ルルル・ルルルルルル We saw this in theaters! I really loved it! xxi. can't take my eyes off you || boys town gang You're just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you The Tiktok dances got me. More serotonin when I really needed it. xxii. survive || jorge rivera-herrans Six hundred lives I'll take Six hundred lives I'll break And when I kill you, then my deed is over

More Epic! xxiii. mermaids || florence & the machine You only get one night upon the shore So dance like you've never danced before

I love Florence. That is all. xxiv. unknown / nth || hozier You know the distance never made a difference to me I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea

Hozier was honestly the artist that kept me the most company this year if I'm not counting Spiritfarer or Hollow Knight. xxv. we didn't start the fire || fall out boy Mars rover, Avatar, self-driving electric cars SSRI's, Prince and The Queen die World trade, second plane, what else do I have to say?

I know it won't happen, but I hope every generation does a remake/remix of this song. Also, I saw Billy Joel himself in concert this year! xxvi. hold me like a grudge || fall out boy Hold me, hold me like a grudge The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, whoa Honestly, I was a fan. xxvii. where is the justice || death note cast isn't everybody sick to death of all this stuff can't we all stand up and say enough?

This song gets stuck in my head like no one's business. xxviii. 30/90 || tick tick boom cast making choices, wicked witches poppy fields, or men behind the curtain tiger lilies, ruby slippers clock is ticking, that's for certain I still think that if Stranger Things did a musical episode Steve Harrington would have Andrew Garfield from Tick Tick Boom energy. xxix. everyday || buddy holly Every day seems a little longer Every way, love's a little stronger

Good Omens 2 dropped! I loved it! I also didn't love it! But mostly I was just happy. xxx. i'm just ken || ryan gosling I wanna know what's like to love, to be the real thing Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I'm in my feelings? And is my moment finally here, or am I dreaming?

I went to see this movie by myself because I was sick of waiting for someone to go with me and honestly had a great time. It was silly and fun and I loved the fact that so many dudes got so incredibly butt-hurt about it. xxxi. what was i made for || billie eilish 'Cause I, I I don't know how to feel But I wanna try

God, this song. It made me cry at the end of Barbie and I've been getting up in my feelings about it ever since. xxxii. speechless — naomi scott I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky Apparently this is from the Aladdin live action? I haven't seen it so I can't confirm, but I DID hear this song this summer and fall in love with it. xxxiii. son of nyx || hozier *instrumental* This one might be my favorite? xxxiv. damage gets done || hozier And, darling, I haven't felt it since then I don't know how the feeling ended But I know being reckless and young Is not how the damage gets done

Another Hozier!!!!!! xxxv. paradise valley || honey and the sting Take what you want from me I bring it willingly

I may have done these next three out of order, but hey! I got married this year! As some of you may know, paradise valley has been the song that I have been obsessed with since I first heard it on Wolf 359 back in 2018/2019. I couldn't figure out a way to make it work in a traditional sense for the wedding, so I ended up using it as a private last dance. As the clock was hitting ten o'clock we had our dj gently shoo the stragglers out the door and just crooned this to each other in the dark. It was probably my favorite part of the entire night. xxxvi. stand by me || florence & the machine So darlin', darlin', stand by me Oh, stand by me

This was our first dance. As it should be. We timed our few spins around the 'darlins' and it honestly went great. 10 out of 10, would dance again. xxxvii. my prayer || the platters My prayer is to linger with you At the end of the day I did a sneaky thing. It was Nick's grandparents 65th wedding anniversary a few days before our wedding, so I quietly found out "their song" and had our DJ play it as the first official couples/slow dance of the night after wishing them a happy anniversary. They cried. I cried. The photographer cried. It was great. xxxviii. baby don't hurt me || david guetta What is love? Baby, don't hurt me

Yeah, it's just a catchy cover. xxxix. quietly yours || birdy I've always been yours Only yours This was from the Persuasion soundtrack and god, it's just so achingly haunting. xl. someone to you || banners I don't wanna die or fade away I just wanna be someone Well, doesn't everyone?

Look. I just wanna be someone. xli. one more time — blink 182 Do I have to die to hear you miss me? Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye? I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow I don't wanna wait to do this one more time One more time. I got tickets to their concert next year. We'll see if they cancel this one. xlii. adelaide || ramblewood Wish you could lay those shadows down And find your way back home

I think this is a local artist? I fell in love with the song though. xliii. i'm just your problem || lur Sorry I don't treat you like a goddess Is that what you want me to do?

Watched Fionna and Cake in like a day and a half and fell all the way back in love with Bonnie and Marceline. xliv. you're gonna be okay || ashh blackwood puff out your chest, take a deep breath you're gonna be okay

This showed up on an anxiety mix and now I literally sing it to myself if I'm having a fast day. It is VERY short, but impactful. xlv. mr lonely || angel olsen Now, I am a soldier A lonely soldier Away from home Through no wish of my own My Yuletide fic that has not yet been revealed was about [REDACTED]. I listened to this and a handful of other sad, lonely songs while writing it. xlvi. now and then || the beatles Oh, now and then I want you to be there for me This song has DEVASTATED me since it came out. I will not be the same again. xlvii. vois sur ton chemin || bennett Vois sur ton chemin Gamins oubliés, égarés

Another tiktok ear worm. I'm not much for techno, but I love this one. xlviii. history is now || natalie holt *instrumental*

Loki fucked me all the way up, guys. I know everyone is crying about it, and I'm crying too! It's beautiful and tragic and one of the most fantastic endings for a character arc that I have EVER seen out of Marvel. I HOPE they leave it alone. I hope they leave it as is so we get to keep the beautiful ending and they don't fuck it up. xlix. purpose is glorious || natalie holt *instrumental*

Again, fucked me ALL the way up. I wept. And watched it three times in a row. These two songs will be on my writing playlist for the rest of time. l. the power || borislav slavov I found you too soon Shining star of mine, hold tight Don't fight the power

I have not officially finished Baldur's Gate. However, every iteration of this song is haunting me.

[comebackwhen]

While I don't have a lot of time to enjoy the fandom the way that I used to, I did finally manage to borrow a PS5 and a copy of Rebirth. Almost 94 hours later I have thoughts and no one to share them with because I'm the only idiot I know IRL who is this deeply invested in this franchise. I kept notes while I was playing and have a lot of thoughts.

I don't expect anyone to actually read any of this, but it'll be fun for me to come back to whenever the next part comes out. If you want to read the ramblings of a fan from the earliest days (For context, I borrowed my brother's copy right after he finished playing it when the game first came out in 97) feel free.

Since I managed to stay spoiler free until I played the game over the last two weeks, I'm still going to pop my thoughts under a break in case there are others out there waiting on a PC port. Beyond here nothing is safe, plot and character-wise.

Holy shit.

I feel like the last two weeks have been kind of a fever dream. It was simultaneously everything I wanted out of the game and also weirdly disappointing in a lot of places.

So, to kick it off, I wasn't mad about the way they were playing around with the whispers and the multiverse-esque concepts. A perfect shot for shot remake would be fine, but as someone who wrote a lot of fanfiction about the game, I can hardly fault the game's creators for wanting to get in on it. lol I would imagine that some of the new content falls into the - would have been in the OG if not for the limitations of the day - category anyway.

I also found it supremely funny that they included a vaguely malevolent entity that was obsessed with keeping the story "on track" and forcing the players to disagree with those entitles via the characters when a significant chunk of those players would be making that their chief complaint when they hit the end of the game. Call em on their bullshit FF7 devs!

As someone who has always been fascinated by Zack, even when he was practically nothing more than a few lines of dialogue and a missable cutscene in the Nibelheim basement, I can't tell you the joy I felt when I saw him live through the final fight. I was down for whatever they wanted to change at that point. I was even excited for it, I think. I find the idea of a time loop or multiverses crossing over kind of fascinating, so I was ready for whatever they wanted to do with it.

So now that you have context for where I stand on that particular side of the argument...

There was so much that rebirth did right. On the whole, I'm so, so impressed with what they did. The world feels so much bigger and some of the details are exquisite. Little things, like the way the news reports things in the background while they're happening and seeing the way Shinra would spin it. Hearing people talking about world events while you walk by - not to mention the sheer amount of people in the world. It really gives weight to some of the events in a way I had never been able to picture.

Though, whoever thought it was a good idea to put so much destroyable/movable clutter in the world was an idiot. JFC. I had to kick coral out of the way on the way to the altar in the Forgotten City and it genuinely annoyed the everloving hell out of me to be distracted by something so dumb in that moment.

I was worried about playing through the Nibelheim flashback for the Nth time but there were so many subtle things that made it interesting. Like, I didn't appreciate the way that Cloud's VA would be able to do that subtle impression of Zack in the way he delivered the lines. If you don't know what's happening there, you'd totally miss it but iykyk. I loved that. There were also subtle, heartbreaking things, like the kids playing Sephiroth when you walk through town. And I cackled when Tifa and Aeris outright call you an asshole for going through her drawers.

Honestly, the amount of casual swearing in this game gave me life. Which is hilarious, because I'm pretty sure Cid didn't curse once. I was really looking forward to hearing him tell us to sit down, shut up, and drink our $#%Y^ tea in full VA glory, so I'm a little sad that we didn't get that.

The choices between what was changed/how it was changed and what wasn't changed at all sometimes seemed a little weird to me. Like falling off the bridge into a river that being what swept the other trooper away, makes way more sense than falling into a ravine as far as why someone could survive it with scraped knees and someone else would end up in a coma. Removing the hidden bookshelf entrance into the Nibelheim labs? Lame. Chocobos at the ranch don't dance? Laaaaame.

I am glad that they finally called out how weird it was that Tifa never said anything about Cloud being there. It's like half the reason I always disliked her character so much. I even liked the conflict between them and the way that Sephiroth kind of turned it into an uno reverse situation. Cloud's eventual descent into madness near the end feels more earned because Sephiroth has been putting the pressure on the whole time.

Some thoughts about the world travels:

Fuck the Midgar Zolem. Nopenopenope.

I loved so many things in Junon. People in lower Junon protesting at the idea of the parade, awesome bit of world building. The weird ass bald bar with Rude? Chef's kiss. Cloud becoming the parade captain and having to go gather the squad. Loved it. He got so into it and you could see the hints of trooper Cloud under the fake Soldier persona he built. Lovely. The parade mini game was perfect. Even little things like the 1/35 soldier collectibles being used to plan the parade formations in the building where you usually grabbed them in the OG. It's the little details like that. I was super bummed that we weren't getting Red XIII in the trooper uniform until we did.

The Gold Saucer. THE GOLD SAUCER. I spent actual hours there. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a section in the Wonder Square where you could have played the OG versions of the mini games. Cait Sith's voice was giving Crowley high on laudanum and I wasn't mad about it.

I had a really funny moment when I got to Gongaga where I went, "Huh, she looks an awful lot like Cissnei..." and then she said she was Cissnei and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Most of the Turks went into hiding, so yeah, okay sure. I just feel like there was a missed opportunity for her to call herself something else and it to be a subtle nod to the fact that Cissnei's probably not her name either. I just can't believe she didn't say anything to Cloud or Aeris (you'll pry that spelling out of my cold dead hands) about Zack.

Cid's early entrance into the game was also a little confusing. Like, he was still working for Shinra at that point in the OG. The only reason I was mad about it was that it meant we probably weren't getting Rocket Town. To be fair, I had to start speed running the plot by that point because I only had the the PS5 for two weeks, so I pretty much skipped exploring the Nibel region entirely. Could Rocket Town be there, sure. I won't know until the PC port comes out. lol I'm intrigued by the idea that Cid knew Ifalna. Was he the one who let them out? Again, not an idea I ever considered, but I wouldn't be mad about it.

Going to Cosmo Canyon was the moment I realized this game was not made for anyone remotely neurospicy. I started calling Rebirth "ooh, a squirrel!" the game at that point. I was so excited to go to Cosmo Canyon. Like it was one of the parts I was most excited to see in modern graphics. I immediately got sidetracked by the chocobos, the reagent collection stuff, the screaming owls, the towers, the Chadley bullshit in general.

That was probably one of my biggest complaints, honestly. Trust me to want to go over every inch of the map on my own. I don't need this weird AI kid to give me quests to make me do that. If anything, I actively started avoiding areas because I could see a cluster of his nonsense which meant traveling through that patch of map would be a pain in my ass. I didn't mind him or the concept as a whole, I just needed like 60% less of it, at least.

That being said, I loved the look of Cosmo Canyon, but I was confused by the vibe there. I feel like if that many people believed in Planetology, Shinra could never have gotten away with the bullshit it did. Even in all the towns, there's a dude in robes preaching Planetology. People are talking about the Lifestream and the Planet as a sentient being CONSTANTLY. There needed to be more, "don't believe that hippie, religious nonsense" people to balance that out. Or people saying, mako's absolutely a renewable resource, even if you believe that Planetology stuff. People on the whole would be destructive for the sake of comfort, but there was this weird disconnect there.

Since they were going with this, Planetology is more popular route, I do appreciate the fact that the people who believe in it at the Canyon are kind of pretentious about it. Tifa literally got eaten by a weapon, the group - including Nanaki who is one of them - have seen a number of wild, inexplicable things in the last couple weeks. Probably mako poisioning and group hallucinations. You should get checked out and how dare you question me! Oh you're a Cetra? Here, light the pretty lights at the festival then.

Since we're talking about Cosmo Canyon, the bit about Red's voice cracked me up. I was not prepared for the tiny babby puppy voice he started using in the back half of the game. I definitely missed his grownup voice the rest of the game though.

The GI cave part was well done. I'm sort of intrigued by the idea of the GI creating the black materia. I just wish they would have explained where the GI came from then, since they weren't born of the Planet. Materia is supposed to be the condensed knowledge of the Planet, so how did they make their own? I love the idea that the black materia was supposed to just be a way for them to take themselves out of the world and it ended up being so powerful it could destroy the entire world instead.

Also, the Cetra were just out there fighting everyone, the GI, the humans, Jenova. I really liked the way that GI Nattak called out that she's only Cetra by bloodline because the actual Cetra were kind of assholes. It's an angle I never considered and I'm kind of here for it.

I don't know how to feel about them turning Nibelheim into a mako poisoning treatment center. I think I preferred the Shinra coverup. It makes them much more sinister. It also made more sense when the replacement townspeople were rude to Cloud and Tifa. They have to stay in character because that's their job. Hell no you two didn't live here. Get lost. Now, everyone's just uncomfortable because two people who used to live there are in their midst. It was weird.

Also Cloud remembered Zack way the fuck early for no good reason. He doesn't talk to Aeris about it. Tifa tries to get him to cover it up. Why though? It makes way more sense for him to get flashes but nothing concrete if you want to foreshadow but you're not going to do anything interesting with it.

I have mixed emotions about what they did to Vincent. It's weird that he stayed at the mansion of his own volition as "security" considering what Hojo and Lucrecia did to him. Why tf was he sleeping in a coffin then? It made way more sense for him to be locked away and willing to join up with the party so he could take a piece out of Hojo. Now, he's claiming to have unfinished business with Sephiroth instead but also refuses to go anywhere near him? Also, I can't not hear Matt Mercer's voice when he talks so that was super distracting. lol Galian Beast was incredible. I'm just pissed I didn't get to use him as a limit break.

This was the point that I realized I had to start skipping exploration/side quests if I wanted to get to the ending before I lost access to the game and system. If I don't mention something and it's not required to beat the game, assume I didn't get to see it and will have to wait until the PC port comes out and I can take the whole game completely apart.

I got the Aeris Gold Saucer date. 10/10. I just wish they had got a vocalist that sounded more like Aeris's regular VA, but the play was a fun little minigame. I was confused by why they were all wearing VR headsets while sitting in a theater and if everyone saw themselves as the hero and people in their party as Rosa, the enemies, etc, but I mostly just turned my brain off and enjoyed the ride. The ferris wheel date was the perfect update to the dialogue while still keeping the vibe. Loved it.

The Temple of the Ancients was both better than I could have hoped for and possibly the worst section to play through at the same time. I was really looking forward to a quirky puzzle solving section with a weird, reality warping backdrop. The temple itself was perfect. The way it built itself up when the keystone got inserted. The look of the labyrinth. All of it. Then, it turned into an action RPG enemy grind. It needed to be half the size it was if they were just going to cut all the cool parts out anyway.

The flashbacks to everyone's sad moments were cool, but I feel like they didn't actually do what they were supposed to for anyone but Aeris. Red ends his tied to the table by Hojo, Barret - Myrna's dead and his arm is gone. (Though it was cool to see what Myrna looks like!) Tifa's dad's dead. Yuffie's confronted by Nero and mocked for leaving Sonon behind. If the Temple was trying to tell them that anger and grief can only take you so far as a warrior, they should probably all ended with some sliver of hope, like Elmyra helping to take care of her. Barret finding Marlene for example, would have been great.

I like the way they handled Cait Sith here much better than the OG. Him physically holding up the temple so it wouldn't collapse was a nice touch. He seemed genuinely remorseful about what he did and the surprise, here's Cait #2 moment seemed far less out of the blue and wrong toned because everyone was still conflicted about how to feel about him.

Cloud creeped me the hell out by the end and that was perfect. The way he chased Aeris for the black materia while saying creepy half-mind controlled stuff. I'm also not mad that they skipped him beating her up and replaced it with them both falling into the pit. It still gives a viable reason for why he's unconscious and gives her the space to run off to the sleeping forest.

I am a little sad that we lost out on his indecision about whether he's safe to go onward. The group dynamic when it comes to Cloud being weird is confusing. It seems like they all understand that degradation is a thing and there's a good chance it's happening to Cloud, but they also let him get away with shit that he really shouldn't be doing/saying if that is the case. He yeeted Tifa into a mako pit and she got eaten by a WEAPON. Did we address that, not really..? He's desperate to get to the black materia in a way that's making Yuffie looked restrained? That's fine. We don't need to tell him to go back and sit with Cid and Vincent. Just let him come along!

The ending leaves me feeling conflicted and brings me to my complaint about the remake itself. I feel like we were speedrunning the plot to ultimately get nowhere fast. Everyone knows the plot, so who cares if we bring Cid in early to cut some of the journey out. We're going to skip over Wutai for now by hinting at the side story we'll get to later. Vincent's backstory, who needs it? Any world exploration in relation to the keystone, nah, Cait just knows that. Let's put Rufus and Hojo at the temple with the Turks and steal some of the northern crater stuff and do that instead of the Temple of the Ancients puzzles. Bone City, Sleeping Forest, Forgotten City? Yeet.

For real though, the Forgotten City feels smaller than the OG version and that's a fucking crime.

I assumed that the climax would explain more about the alternate universes, why Zack survived, how the whispers work, etc. and that was the REAL story here, so sure, let's get to that.

Any time now.

I'll wait.

Wait, not like that! I didn't mean- and the game's over. Well fuck.

Seriously, that's how I felt about the ending. I was kind of holding off on the Zack side story so I could come at it all at once. I loved that Zack got into Midgar just to see that, without Cloud, the Avalanche stuff falls apart. There's a teeny plot hole in how Aeris would have ended up involved without Cloud buuuuut fate's gonna do its thing and I can suspension of disbelief that.

What I can't ignore is that we never find out who the missing Soldier with the Buster Sword was that was involved. The reports talk about a missing Soldier who Shinra's still searching for. Maybe they're just tacking that on because Zack survived his execution and they're trying to kill two birds with one stone, but then why aren't they looking for two Soldiers? Zack still clearly has Cloud. I have questions.

On that note, literally no one bats an eye at Zack and Cloud looking like they could 100% have been running from that fight. Kyrie would have absolutely have handed Cloud over to a Soldier/Trooper the second Zack was gone.

So great. Now we have Zack and Cloud at Elmyra's with Marlene and Aeris in a coma. Her materia's all clear. The world is ending. Spooky af. I'm fascinated. Biggs is the only one who survived the capture of Avalanche. he's super guilty. Love it. Wait, why's he talking about Cloud like he knows him and he was there at the bombings? Marlene too? Of course Aeris has a crush on Cloud, you're dead silly! It's probably best she never wakes up because then Sephiroth murders her.

Elmyra implying that it's okay if no one saves Barret and Tifa because the world is ended and they're all going to end up in the same place soon was fucking DARK. I was not prepared for that.

Then, Zack has a decision. Shinra HQ for a cure to Cloud's coma or rescuing Biggs from his own stupidity. He chooses a friendly chat with Hojo, rocks up to the building on a motorcycle and guns it into the building despite the troopers. Love it. Wait. Why's he talking to Biggs in the reactor? And Biggs is dead and Zack's facing down the army again. Did we just branch into a second alternate timeline where Zack both went to HQ and tried to save Biggs? Awesome. We're really leaning into the weirdness. Let's fucking go.

Aeris and Cloud wake up in their coma bodies. Okay, awesome. We're finally going to get an explanation. Is this some weird sort of afterlife where all the souls from the multiverse end up and drop their knowledge off before rebirth? Is Aeris going to take Rebirth!Cloud and bring him somewhere else because she's a Cetra and can do crazy shit like that?

Nope, we're going on another weird ass date.

This is when I realized that we've definitely got at least two "Zack lives" timelines. The Cloud and Aeris one seems like a spinoff of one of those too, since Cloud woke up in the wheelchair in Aeris's house. Then there's one where Zack is sitting on the church steps right before Sephiroth shows up. I can't tell if the dog Johnny's holding is the same one as the bag from the remake ending or not. You can keep track of which timeline you're in because of the Stamp used in that universe. What the fuck even is my life?

So assuming that "Johnny dog" Zack is the one who fights with Cloud, is he gone when he says goodbye at the end? Is he the one that wakes up in the church? But the flowers in the church are okay when all the other Zack timelines aren't. Is this a fifth timeline?

I don't necessarily mind that they didn't tie it all up in a bow because this isn't the end, but I have so many frustrating questions.

Lastly, let's get to Schrodinger's flower girl. If she's really dead, I feel robbed. If they were actually going to kill her off, I wanted to be fucked up emotionally in 4k. I wanted everyone saying goodbye on the altar. I wanted the water burial. All of it in high def so I could sob my heart out like a teenage girl.

I'm intrigued by the overlay of Aeris bleeding and not. Her holding Cloud's face and it looking like he's holding her hand up because she's already dead. Cloud giving the OG speech with no words and just crying and ignoring Sephiroth entirely. Are we seeing multiple worlds converging and only Cloud can tell because he was dragged into that alternate world with her? Is Cloud's mind cracked beyond all telling and this is just Jenova/Sephiroth coming to him wearing the face of someone he loves and trusts?

I'm still annoyed that they seemed to scoot on by the most pivotal part of the OG, but I will forgive them if it turns out that Cloud's crazy and we get to see it all properly in Part Three. Or if they come up with an equally suitable twist involving multiversal travel where she really is both alive and dead in any given universe.

I'll be excited when the PC port comes out so I can really take the game apart and find out what makes it tick. I'm sure I only barely scratched the surface, considering how much side content I had to skip. I think a lot of this could benefit from a second playthrough, even if I had 100% it.

If you're still here, I'm confused but hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Night all.

[the-hellhounds]

Getting back home after playing restaurant with Minjun and Haechan, Hanbin was stressed out. Pacing back and forth, he thought his life wouldn't get more complicated than it was when he found a letter at his mailbox that triggered a memory he thought he had lost.

Complimentary mail service from Johnny who goes out to the city to retrieve everyone's mail from the post office and brings it back to sort to everyone's mailboxes.

"This can't be fucking happening... this can't be true..." Hanbin mumbled to himself as he ran his hands through his hair for the nth time. Dark locks tousled and messed up from how he had fixed his hair neatly that morning.

Grabbing the letter that sat on the kitchen counter, he reads through it again. The neatly written cursive words haunting him, blaring the truth he didn't know about after years of his hound having done something.

"Fuck this stupid anti-aging gene!" Slamming his fist, not so hard as to break the countertop, he hears how his hound whines. "Shut up! This is on you. If I aged normally, this wouldn't have happened or I would've been dead by now to not know about it!" He snaps at himself, scolding his hound.

Dropping the letter back on the countertop, he places his hands on the cool onyx counter. Thinking, planning on what to do next as the words from the letter stared back at him.

"Dear Hanbin,

I know you may not remember me since its been so many years, but it's me... Lim Jugyeong, your best friend that would always go to that karaoke place in Hongdae with you that you loved.

I'm writing to you because there's something you should know. I remember you said that you would be moving back to where your pack is, and I've tried so hard to look for you. To find out where your pack is since you never wanted to mention the location in case someone overheard. Well this is an emergency.

You have a son. I know we were young when we had that night together, and that you weren't looking for something serious... but I've tried each year since he was born to look for you, but I just couldn't find you. I was afraid, I was terrified of what you would say. I've told him about you. He understands you didn't know about him and didn't want a relationship with me. He's a good kid.

The other reason why I'm writing to you is that I'm dying. My werewolf has been poisoned and it's weakening me each day. I haven't told our son about it. I've told him it's just the flu...

All these years, having the privilege to be a werewolf and not age fast have given me such a great opportunity to see our son grow up to be a gentleman.

Please come visit us, Hanbin. I'll write down the address of where we now live in.

P.s. if you need a DNA sample, I'll pay for it, but you'll see soon enough that he has your looks and mannerisms.

Sincerely, Lim Jugyeong"

Knowing what to do, Hanbin takes the letter with him and heads upstairs to his room where he would pack to head to where his best friend and mother to his son lived.

[ellcrys]

15 questions

Tagged by @itstimetodrew~!! Thanks for the tag!! ☺️

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, I don't think so! I think my parents just went through the list of baby names for girls and settled on Joanna lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhh... I teared up watching one of the episodes of Blue Eye Samurai a couple days ago but the last time I Cried was on my flight back to Boston last Friday rewatching episode three of The Last of Us lmaoo. (I was like SURELY I won't cry on my nth rewatch... #rip to me)

3. Do you have kids?

*Puts on my meme hat* What am I a child bride?

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Swimming and soccer growing up. I did ballet for like a year or two also when I was like 5. Since graduating college I haven't really done any sports, just working out at the gym pre-pandemic and then at home since the pandemic, although one of my friends is trying to start a pickup soccer group which I'll probs join if it takes off. Do want to get back into swimming again also. That's on my 2024 todo list. I've tried running as a hobby enough times to know that I suck at it and that I hate it lmao.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Does anyone not? lol

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, probably their outfit; I enjoy seeing people's different styles!

7. What's your eye color?

Brown <3

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings!!

9. Any talents?

Ugh, no?? I can't think of anything lol. Being a procrastinator and the ultimate lazy bum (only half joking). idk man, I used to be proud of my writing and amv skills but I haven't seriously tried to write anything in probably a decade and I don't think I'm ever getting back into making amvs lol. Letting things go/being resilient maybe? I'm at the point in my life where everything is just 'it is what it is', but I think I've always been good at moving on from things tbh. Life's too short to dwell.

10. Where were you born?

Wisconsin of all states lol

11. What are your hobbies?

Nothing creative anymore, that's for sure (#rip). Uh, I love going out and doing things. I'm the furthest thing from a homebody so being trapped at home during the pandemic drove me nuts. Things I do on the regular include visiting independent bookstores, art museums, and seeing shows. I try to travel/see someplace new on the regular, whether that's going out of state/country or walking through a new neighborhood in the Boston area. I love eating, definitely a foodie. I read a lot (more fanfic than actual lit these days whoops) and watch a lot of tv. I also enjoy just walking around and people watching (will frequently walk around the neighborhood/city without any real purpose in mind as I go crazy if I'm cooped up in my apt for too long). I also love sending snail mail and exchange postcards monthly with a friend in London, and send holiday cards/postcards to family/friends when I travel. I guess documenting my interests on Tumblr can also be considered a hobby considering how much time I spend on here lmao.

12. Do you have any pets?

No, but I plan to adopt a cat when I (hopefully) get my own place!

13. How tall are you?

5'4" :')

I'd love another two inches... just two measly inches :')))

14. Favorite subject in school?

Growing up, probably math. I was good at it, and I loved how logical it was. I also really enjoyed chem, probably because it was the most math adjacent science (hilariously though, I hated physics). In college obviously computer science, my major. Though I've always loved my literature classes also.

15. Dream job?

Man I'd love to open and own an independent bookstore/cafe. Dream job for real.

Tagging (if you want!) @lordsardine, @goldshitter, @akechikurusus, @popflythesky, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[whateverthedragonswant]

So ever since I received a comment a few days ago on one of my Jonsa posts, a certain portion of it has been sitting in my brain: "You mean besides how Dany’s story amounts to nothing? And says that anyone fighting against an unjust system should never be trusted, so it was better that she never had power or the ability to fight back? Or how about that she shouldn’t have been born to begin with since she was crooked and ugly from the start? That’s reassuring for a lot of people who’ve found a sense of inspiration in her at low points in their life."

And I just need to talk about it. Putting everything under the cut:

Warning: spoilers for endings of Dean Winchester/Supernatural, Villanelle/Killing Eve, Negan Smith/The Walking Dead/Dead City up ahead.

So this comment has been sitting in my brain because I think I'm having a hard time processing that there are still people out there who actually think this about Daenerys' story. And this goes back to what I've been saying the entire time how that throne room scene dialogue change Emilia wanted thrown in absolutely negated the impact of Dany's actual true arc and the tragedy/moral of her story.

As always, I'm only talking about the showverse, the adaptation of the books.

First, Dany's story didn't amount to nothing. It was actually a very well told story (minus the bungling of the execution of the end there). If we take a step back and look at the picture as a whole, she actually was integral to the story and played a very major part in it. Not only as the main villain or the main antagonist or the final boss or however you want to refer to her, but like the butterfly effect, her actions (and decisions) affected the other characters around her and the story as a whole. That's not nothing.

"And says that anyone fighting against an unjust system should never be trusted, so it was better that she never had power or the ability to fight back" - It is because of her that Westeros has now changed on a massive political scale and it's no accident that Tyrion Lannister was the one to nominate Bran Stark as the next King. She set out to break the wheel and whatever her reasons, however she went about it, she did it. She achieved it. She broke the wheel. That's what enables the new political system to be in place, that is taking a very tiny baby step towards democracy, not there just yet but there was change.

Aegon Targaryen conquered Westeros and Targareyens were in power for centuries, the de facto ruling family. Things were done their way during that time. Then Robert's Rebellion happened and the Targaryens were destroyed (to an extent) and their rules were thrust out. But the way the Targaryens ruled did not change overmuch because the Lannisters had come into power and they became the new Targaryens but in the new world so to speak. There are many reasons why Daenerys and Cersei are paralleled so much. The only difference between the Lannisters and the Targaryens was the allowable incestuous wedding and bedding, and the absence of dragons (aka power). Which is why Tywin uses other methods of instilling fear and utilizes gold to the nth degree. "Hear Me Roar" ( and the more ominous saying of "A Lannister Always Pays His Debts") isn't that far off from "Fire and Blood". The same threat is there (as well as the posturing of power and being in charge) but just worded differently.

A dragon is meant to rule over all, especially three dragons.

A lion (with the mane as pictured) is meant to rule over all in the animal kingdom, especially its own pride.

I mean:

My whole long point being that the Targaryens were the old ruling dynasty. Silver-haired and used their dragons to wield power. Fire and Blood.

The Lannisters were the current ruling family (through Robert and then themselves once Robert had died), poised to become the new ruling dynasty. Golden-haired and used their gold and influence to wield power. Hear Me Roar.

Dany didn't just break the wheel, she also deposed/ousted/destroyed the current ruling family as well, making way for a new ruling dynasty to come along, a new world. And that makes sense that she would be the one to do it (and that her actions killed Jaime and Cersei together while Cersei was pregnant with their child/future) because the Lannisters were never meant to be endgame. Just like it also makes sense that Cersei was the first Queen to take the Iron Throne. And it also makes sense why Cersei told Jaime to hell with everyone else and she wanted to set up their own dynasty for 1000 years, not caring if Westeros knew Jaime fathered her children or not. They were becoming the new Targaryens and they wouldn't be good for the realm. Hence the splitting of the "Mad Queen" narrative between Cersei and Daenerys. This doesn't take away from Daenerys or any bad choices she made or who was the worse murderer, but it shows that there was a plan here in the story and Daenerys was very much a part of it and a big player in it.

It's no coincidence she was given three dragons. It's no coincidence that she named two of them after her brothers (like Aegon's two sisters helped him to conquer Westeros), the two sides of her and only in the end would we see that Drogon (named for Drogo) would represent who Daenerys really was the whole time. So it absolutely makes sense that she would be the one to come to Westeros to conquer it again, starting at King's Landing (as Aegon did), taking out the new Targaryens, breaking the wheel, and closing up the Targaryen circle so to speak. She was right, she did have a destiny, it just wasn't what she thought or dreamed for herself. Her decision dictated her end.

And it's also no coincidence that this happened with Aegon (aka Jon), the other side of the coin to Dany in character, and that he is the one who has to make the choice to either stop her from forging the world into her vision or join her. No coincidence that he then becomes The Last Targaryen and is going back to the Night's Watch again, a la Aemon. Aemon had to forswear the name Targaryen in order to serve the Citadel. When his older brother died, despite those who wanted to see him crowned King, he refused and the crown passed to his younger brother.

And this prompted Aemon to join the Night's Watch so his access to the crown (and people trying to use him as a political rival to his brother) would be removed completely.

So it made absolute sense that both Dany and Jon had purposes to fulfill in the story in regards to Westeros and the Iron Throne. Not just because of their claims but also because they were the last remaining parts in the wheel of that house.

And it also makes sense that a new ruling family was set up (though not a dynasty in Bran's case since the next ruler will be chosen by the Council of Lords instead of it staying in the family) but also a new dynasty was set up (though it had been around before the Targaryens came to Westeros so not so new really but it was the dynasty meant to be restored) through their actions. The Targaryens and Lannisters had both been ripped out root and stem (with the exception of Tyrion though had Dany lived, Tyrion would not have) in preparation for a new world to grow.

And as we know House Stark's words are "Winter is coming" which is not a threat or a boast of their power/strength but a warning and call for preparation for a worse threat coming. Plus:

While we see the wolf with its teeth bared, it is not in an attack position (like the lion above) or in an aggressive position at all (like we see with the dragons having fire coming out of their mouths above), even the banner with just the wolf's head like we see in the show, and there are no flashy colors like the Lannisters' or ominous coloring like the Targaryens'. There is no red for blood or power, and no yellow for gold. This (House Stark) was always going to be the dynasty that was restored, just not ruling over Westeros but their own land, as they had before the Targaryens threw a monkey wrench into everything. Chosen by their people and trusted/loved by them as well, independent from the other Six Kingdoms and everything involved with that.

But back to Daenerys, she served a much greater purpose in the story than I think most give her credit for. Regardless of what decisions she made in the end, the purpose the narrative had for her had been served. Same with Jon. So to say that the message here is "anyone fighting against an unjust system should never be trusted, so it was better that she never had power or the ability to fight back" is imho incorrect. Daenerys' own family was responsible for that unjust system that you speak of. I'm not saying she was, but her family was, and had Viserys gotten back on the IT it would have continued. Had Cersei and the Lannisters somehow defeated Dany, it would have continued. We saw plenty of times that Dany stood up against an unjust system and won, advancing her narrative. What you are meant to question in the end after seeing all of the decisions she's made is how she went about getting those victories and were they really this honorable selfless quest to free those from the wheel so there would be equality, peace, and prosperity for all? Or was that not the case when it comes to her? You're meant to question her actions and decisions. For example, a lot of people like to refer to her as the "Breaker of Chains" but if you go back and watch that scene again, you will see that when she gives the Unsullied a choice she still has the whip in her hand. And she doesn't get rid of it until they've all agreed to follow her, after seeing how much destruction one small dragon could inflict at her command. There's a reason they revisited the slavery and freedom issue in her Mereen arc and who wants to be free and who doesn't, etc. It's not just about her getting to know her people or their culture. "Mhysa is Master" is meant to make you think and take another look at just how free the Unsullied were, looking past Grey Worm and Missandei.

But before I go off on another tangent, it is absolutely always better that she had power to stand up against people who needed to be stood up to. This is why it absolutely floors me when I see people reducing this character's story to one thing or another, good or bad. One of GRRM's main points is to make his characters complex, to not make them one thing or another. Daemon Targaryen is a perfect example he gave. Daenerys is not just evil and not just good. She's a complex, flawed human being who made some wrong choices along the way and allowed her destiny to go to her head, that she then began using to justify the actions she took that were anything but right.

So making a statement like that is completely negating Daenerys' importance to the story and some of the good things she actually did in the narrative, all because you didn't like how her story ended.

Which leads into the third point I want to address. To each their own, feel how you feel, see what you see, interpret what you interpret. But it always boggles me when I hear someone saying that by Dany's ending, she can no longer be seen as a strong character, for women, for survivors, or any other group. And I guess I have to ask why that is. Dany is still one hell of a strong character and she was up until the end. She was given not only a major part in the story but also one hell of a powerful villain arc/turn. Not a lot of female characters get that. By her being the villain and having her ending, it's not negating anything she suffered and like most people in life, she was given a choice: continue to abuse/hurt/do the same as was done to you or don't continue that behavior and break free of that chain. While it appeared she had chosen the latter, in the end, she chose the former. Burning innocent children alive, going from street to street to set it on fire so none would survive so you can make your new world, that's not breaking the chain of behavior.

But she still got to make the choice. She wasn't pushed into it because of something a man had done, because she lost those she loved, or anything with her love for Jon, or because she lost her head. She made a sound and clear decision. That's strong as hell. She made decisions after decisions that led her to that final decision. How do you not see strength in that? Even when Jon confronted her in the throne room, she didn't back down from the decision she'd made (even though it was the wrong one). That's strength, especially considering the world she was surrounded by and the patriarchy. She wasn't punished for being a woman. She wasn't punished for being a survivor. She wasn't punished because she was a Targaryen or a Queen. She wasn't even being punished. She had fulfilled her purpose in the story and now it was Jon's decision (the other Targaryen) if he would allow her to continue reshaping the world or to stop her.

Another example that I can think of similar happening (though a lot of people won't agree with me on this) was Villanelle in Killing Eve (the showverse). The character had served her purpose, and she got to be the one that took out the big bad while having a redemption arc. She was very much the antihero in that moment. Her killing Bill, her killing people outside of assignments that weren't a threat to her but she just enjoyed killing them or they annoyed her -- all of that was going to come back to her at some point.

Once these characters who are not the heroes or sheroes serve their purpose in the story, that's it. It doesn't mean all of them die obviously but it doesn't mean they get a great big house with a white picket fence, a dog (or cat), and a happy ending. Especially if they performed some anatognistic or villain role in some way. Look at Negan from The Walking Dead for example. He had a redemption arc in the show and got to get married and have a baby on the way in the end, but he wasn't really able to stay with the group despite what Daryl and Maggie said to him. Then we have the new show which keeps Negan's story ongoing and the minute it starts we find out his wife and son are elsewhere because he has to stay away to keep them safe. And here he is, on the run again, still working for redemption and being the antihero, but no happy ending that we can see in the distance (and who knows how it will end, he may die, he may not).

Conversely, a lot of people were upset when Dean Winchester died in the end of Supernatural (me among them). He was one of the heroes in the story but his agency was taken from him in the manner they chose to have him die, it didn't make sense character or story wise with what the narrative was leading to, and because of the type of story they were telling (heavily leaning into the emotional trauma of these characters), it had bad messaging. That's a great example of railing at the writers and going "huh? what was the whole goddamn point?" But not Dany. (meaning her dark turn as a whole and her ending with Jon dealing with her)

So to say that Dany shouldn't have done what she did because it didn't end the way you wanted, I'm sorry, that's ludicrous and completely insulting to Dany's character. Feel how you feel, especially if she was someone who you looked up to and who got you through the rough times, but she absolutely was a strong character and I think in the emotion of what happened in the end (because some really still didn't see it coming even after all of the hints and foreshadowing for years on end), that tends to be forgotten. Dany is not a victim; she never was. She's a survivor and she was given full agency up until the very end. She went from not being able to choose to being able to choose. She went from being under men's control to having her own control. That's something to perhaps look at as a win, or a silver lining at the very least. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinions and valid feelings, I just feel like Dany deserves more credit as does her story as a whole, and her very important role doesn't deserve to be diminished because you didn't get the ending you wanted (i.e. a Targaryen restoration, Jon and Dany making tons of babies, Dany on the IT, etc.).

In my personal opinion, she's one of the best characters to ever exist and she's one of my favorites. I don't agree with a lot of the decisions she's made and I am not afraid to call her out on them or state where she went wrong or be critical, but I absolutely do it from a point of love for this character and one I view to be one of the strongest female characters I've ever seen on my screen to this day. How do you not find inspiration in that?

tldr; "You mean besides how Dany’s story amounts to nothing? And says that anyone fighting against an unjust system should never be trusted, so it was better that she never had power or the ability to fight back?" -> Dany's story doesn't amount to nothing and it doesn't say any of that if anything her story says the opposite.

[cyber-harpie]

I never see anyone talking about these flowers and I love them so much so I'm totally going to infodump

Like probably a lot of people, these are my favorite flowers because I grew up around them. I live in a city more dedicated to providing green, outdoor spaces now, but not all cities are like that. When I grew up in Dallas, it was like growing up in a maze of cement. Summers were hot, and winter winds will flay your skin off, on a backdrop of grimy damp and cigarette-gasoline-city-smog-scent. Dallas is maybe the least colorful major city in Texas.

So the first time I saw these flowers as a wee lass, I nearly fell over, I was so dumbstruck.

Frustratingly, I can't find a picture quite as I remember them - growing by the thousands on the banks of highways, in otherwise completely ecologically blank zones inhospitable to anything else but lawn grass.

Some people call them wildflowers, and some people call them weeds, because they will grow in droves anywhere a seed happens to fall. They hibernate during the colder months and come spring, will have multiplied to the nth degree. Each flower blooms for exactly one day, though each flower doesn't quite bloom on the exact same day every year. So annually, for a couple of weeks a year, you can find otherwise unremarkable fields utterly saturated with little pink flowers.

I have a childhood memory of begging my mom to pull over so we could see the flowers. In hindsight I can't believe she agreed, because adult-me understands why a single mother would not have wanted to pull over on the highway so her kid could play, but she must have found a good spot for it.

And I LOVED it - they were so beautiful, and the expanse of them was even more dramatic in-person. I plucked a couple to put in my hair.

The flower is even edible. And interestingly, flowers produce ant food and attaches it to its seeds - so ants drag the food home, seeds and all, and end up growing tons of new primrose directly in the colony - on top of a rich compost bin. Win-win for the local ecosystem.

Which also means when an unsuspecting child picks the flower, when it's invested all its resources to look as attractive as possible for its one blooming day a year, it is most certainly FULL of ants.

The pink evening primrose gave me an awe-inspiring spot of beauty in an otherwise inhospital gray urban wasteland. My mom, and her rare moment of indulgence. And a nostalgia-fogged memory of shrieking laughter in a field of flowers, shaking ants out of my hair.

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

[glenrocklibraryteens]

Album Review: Unreal Unearth by Hozier

If you are looking for an album containing endless depth and hard-hitting lyrics, look no further than Unreal Unearth by Hozier. In this album, Andrew Hozier-Byrne takes inspiration from Dante’s Inferno. Inferno is the first part of Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy, and describes the journey of a poet, Virgil, through the Nine Circles of Hell. Each layer represents a sin, progressively worsening as you go through them until you reach the realm where Satan resides. Hozier bases his album on this idea of the Afterlife and the Christian religion itself. I think that Hozier’s relationship and perspective is the aspect of the album that drives it to be so enrapturing. In an interview with Brittany Broski at Austin City Limits (which I definitely recommend watching if you want to hear his own phrasings of the topic) , he recognizes that he has a spiritual identity within himself, but wants to recognize the religion without the secular idolization that he feels is promoted in some churches.

My personal favorites include Francesca, I, Carrion (Icarian), Abstract (Psychopomp), and Unknown/Nth. The entire album’s lyricism and chosen words mimic that of a storyteller, which wonderfully sells the point of some songs directly representing a layer in Hell. Francesca, the fourth track of the album, represents the sin of lust. The song describes a difficult relationship but also one that is worth going back to. Here’s an excerpt of the lyrics:

It was too soon

When that part of you was ripped away

A grip taking hold

Like a cancer that grows

Each piece of your body that it takes

Though I know my heart would break

I'll tell them put me back in it

The overwhelming urge to return to the described relationship is what really stands out to me. Just as he begins to describe the decadence of the connection, he returns to a chorus where he begs to be put back into the ruthless cycle. This circles back to the overarching idea of Inferno; he knows that he is lost in this cloud of lust, but he doesn’t let the pain torment him. Instead, he gives into the depth of his emotions. I, Carrion (Icarian) is almost like the eye of the storm, a calmer and gentle counterpart to Francesca. In this track, Hozier expresses the weightless feeling of being in love. The soft guitar and implementation of other string instruments, the song itself is light and dreamy. The title of the song references Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun. The song’s almost naivety is hidden in the lyrics:

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall

Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me

If I should fall, on that day

I only pray, don't fall away from me

The clever play of words in the title (I, Carrion = Icarian) describes the brutality of what Hozier describes. His weighlessness leads him to possible death, which connects to the word “carrion” (defined as decaying flesh of animals). As he readily accepts his fate, he only hopes to stay with his loved one.

The 14th track, Abstract (Psychopomp) is a phenomenal story of compassion and acceptance. Hozier revealed that the song was based on a personal experience when he saw someone run into the middle of the road to help an injured animal to safety. What really sticks out to me is that the experience itself is so common and he took time to expand the emotions behind it.

The speed that you moved

The screech of the cars

The creature still moving

That slowed in your arms

The fear in its eyes

Gone out in an instant

Your tear caught the light

The Earth from a distance

The situation is so imaginable that you can’t help but feel that same grief. The balance between love and fear that is emitted from the situation also reflects onto life itself. The animal in the road, quietly suffering until the release of death, is said to represent the complexity of human emotions. What I love about Hozier’s lyricism is the ability to interpret it in more than one way. That expression of emotion really adds to the song and creates that depth that drew me to this album.

As you reach the end of the album, you are faced with the 15th track: Unknown/Nth. I especially love this song because the change in dynamics towards the end of the song, creating this overwhelming burst of pent-up emotions. This song would represent the ninth circle of Hell, treachery. The track describes a misunderstood partner in a relationship. This partner feels a distance growing and a slow bitterness towards the idea of being “unknown”. Hozier describes the ignorance of the toxicity emitting from the relationship and the idolization of the other partner.

Do you know, I could break beneath the weight

Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you

That I'd walk so far just to take

The injury of finally knowing you

It ain't the being alone

(Sha la la)

It ain't the empty home, baby

(Sha la la)

You know I'm good on my own

(Sha la la)

Sha la la, baby

You know, it's more the being unknown

And there are some people, love, who are better unknown

I think that up until that change in dynamic and volume, the piece holds this begrudging civility that gives an edge to the tempo and vibe of the song. As soon as that politeness fades, there’s a real sense of resentment for what the person has been through. I also think that there’s a mocking tone in the “sha la la”s that sort of echo throughout the song because it seems misplaced and almost mocking to have in a song of this context. The “sha la la”s remind of old Doo-wop love songs, which greatly contrasts the mood of this track.