#it was the most fun I've had in literal years
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Initial thoughts while watching arcane s2 act 1, spoilers below
Ep 1:
Literally in disbelief that Mel ended up alive, surely thought they were going to kill her and thus spark off Ambessa's arc
Absolutely unhinged that Viktor's last wish was for Jayce to destroy the hexcore and he uses it to save his life. There will surely be no repercussions from this action
Caitlyn and Vi hugging stfuuuuuuu
I really wish we had gotten to see Caitlyn defending Vi to the Enforcers instead of just hearing about it. I think that would've been really helpful for Cait's arc as well as made their future rift more impactful :/
That chem baron attack had me on the edge of my seat !! If they actually killed Mel in that moment I would've been so mad that I wondered about her for three years then found out she was alive then saw her die.... not yet at least :|
Okay but was the chem baron lady always that fit? Like,,,,hello
Cait and Vi fighting together is *chef's kiss*
Made a joke that Ambessa was late to the party cause she was watching her own music video to hype herself up. If only :(
Caitlyn storming in and claiming herself as a decorated officer and leader of House Kiramman to get her way holyyyyyy shit girl get it
Ep 2
These little differently animated opens are so slay
Very fun to see behind the curtain of this power grab. Love Sevika saying they don't give up their own people. She has changed somehow??
Super fun watching Sevika and Jinx reminisce about being Silco's henchwomen. They say behind every strong man, lol
Viktor waking up?!?!? Hehe he's nakey. They made Jayce give him a blanket so we wouldn't know about his arcane pee pee, sad
Affection that held us together??? Yaoi
They just love throwing more and more irreparable moments at Vi and Jinx's relationship huh? Talking about the arcade and how sad Jinx was to see Vi as an Enforcer using the gas :((((
Caitlyn's rage??? Okay girl go off. Let us see your rage. I support women's wrongs
Jinx's line about taking out the only family she has left kill me
Viktor as Jesus is not what I was expecting but I'm here for it
Ep 3:
So fascinated by the Kiramman lore and The Gray
Also, just have to say that the intro is so good and I never would have expected comfortable clothes for everyone but it's giving. Whoever put Cait in a black turtle neck thank youuuu
*kinda blacked out and missed stuff in this episode cause* CAITVI KISS LETS GO HAJAFHSJSKFK
Scientist team up is delightful
Definitely thought the temple fight was gonna be ep 9, very interesting fight and dynamic, it makes me very sad :(
"You're not my sister" ahhhhhhhh
I've taken ventilation classes before and idk how Jinx made the air do that lol
Cait and Vi break up scene, hundreds dead thousands injured. It's me, I'm dead
I'm so ready to witness all of Caitlyn's wrongs
Def blacked out most of ep 3 and missed quite a bit of note taking cause so much was happening. Can't wait to go back and process it all again. Until then I'm going to keep wallowing
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#piltover's finest#caitvi#jayce talis#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#viktor arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#mine#sevika
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Moon, a hole of light | JB22 x SV5
summary . . . Jenson Button and Sebastian Vettel, one of the most esteemed names in Formula 1. Well, their names held a different story than their behaviour. Mischief, troublemaking and much more came with these two. Will the grid be able to survive?
request . . . yes!
word count . . . 1.6k
warnings . . . cursing
alexavia yaps . . . idk if this is good or not bc i literally just put a bunch of ideas together and hoped it was good </3 i accidentaly deleted the first draft so i lost the authors note and summary dni
2010, it was a year to be in F1. Many legends were on the grid, aswell as new rookies striving for greatness. But there was one pair that stood out more than the others, Jenny and Sebby, as they called themselves.
Jen and Seb, another name for them, were the troublemakers and pranksters of the grid. They were either driving or causing trouble, no in between. They made sure their PR Managers lived in misery and vain, but at least they had fun, right?
"SEBASTIAN VETTEL! COME RIGHT HERE!" Jenson's shout came from his driver's room in Mclaren. Seb, who was waiting around the corner grinned and tried to stifle his laugh as he walked over to the driver's room.
Seb slowly opened the door, trying to hold his laughter at the sight in front of him, but then failing. There stood a red-face Jenson Button, but quite literally. His face and body were stained a bright red, his fists clenched and shaking.
It took all his will to not punch Sebastian right then and there.
You'd think that a 30 year old man and a 23 year old would be mature, and have some common sense, right? Well, if you ever met Seb and Jen, you'd instantly know you were wrong. They were even more immature than a pair of 5 year olds, which was a bit surprising.
"I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons, babe" Sang Sebastian to Jenson, who rolled his eyes and shook his head disappointingly.
"I regret teaching you that this song even existed." He muttered, eyes closed and head in his hands.
"Well, too bad. I've already memorised all of it." Laughed Seb, pointing his finger at Jenson in a taunting manner.
"You did not!" Exclaimed Jenson, his eyes comically wide.
"Yes I did!"
"God, what am I going to do with you?" Jenson sighed, his shoulders deflating.
"Nothing, because you're never getting rid of me!" Seb started skipping around him in circles, singing the lyrics to Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls.
"God please help me."
"A beekeeper?!"Jenson shouted, his jaw almost on the floor.
"What's wrong with being a beekeeper?" Seb shouted back, his arms going across his chest defensively.
"That's so...adorable and cutesy! It does not fit you!"
"Yes it does!" Seb argued, his voice slightly cracking.
"Does not!"
"Does"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Shut up!"
"Jeez, way to stop an argument." Jenson laughed, blowing air out of his mouth.
"Fuck off, Jen. You want to be a DILF."
"Why’s my entire table filled with… carrots?" Seb stared at the small mountain of carrots spilling out as he opened his locker.
Jenson strolled into the room, arms crossed, leaning casually against the doorframe with a smirk. "Just making sure you’re eating healthy. Thought you could use a bit of beta-carotene, mate."
Seb rolled his eyes, grabbing a handful of carrots and shoving them into Jenson’s arms. "Fine, but you’re eating them with me. Enjoy your five-a-day."
"Why is there glitter… everywhere?" Jenson asked, his voice barely holding back a mix of rage and laughter as he opened his driver’s bag to find every item coated in a thick layer of sparkles.
Seb was practically bent over in silent laughter, barely able to breathe. "It’s called adding flair, Jen. A little sparkle in your life never hurt."
Jenson held up his helmet, which was covered in glitter, and just shook his head. "You're dead, Vettel. You better start running now."
During one race weekend, Jenson was doing a live interview, being the picture of professionalism, answering questions and playing the PR game as usual. But right on the edge of the frame, Seb popped up wearing a pair of sunglasses and holding a cardboard sign that said, 'Free Hugs from Jenson.'
Without any hint of annoyance or surprise, Jenson smirked at the camera and pointed behind him. "Alright, guys, you heard him. Go find Seb if you want hugs. Might be the only time he’s offering them to the public."
During a fan Q&A, a young fan asked Jenson how he would describe Seb in three words.
Jenson looked at Seb, pretending to be in deep thought. "Hmm… a bee loving menace."
Seb grinned, crossing his arms. "Best description I’ve ever had. What would you be?"
"Easy," Jenson replied with a grin. "Seb’s number one fan."
The audience burst into laughter, and Seb dramatically placed a hand over his heart. “Aww, Jen, you shouldn’t have!"
"Sebastian, what’s your proudest achievement in F1 so far?" a journalist asked during a media day.
Seb was mid-sentence, talking about his wins, when Jenson appeared out of nowhere, a huge smirk on his face. "Oh, I can tell you. It’s definitely pranking me with a cardboard cutout of myself in my hotel room at 3 a.m. Nearly gave me a heart attack."
Seb burst out laughing. "It was life-sized! I figured you’d love the surprise!"
"Oh, I loved it," Jenson replied sarcastically. "Especially when I walked in and saw myself staring back at me. Almost had to call security."
Then there was the time when Seb was asked if he ever got nervous before races.
"No, not really," Seb replied calmly, then paused as Jenson slid into the shot behind him, eyebrows raised.
"Are we forgetting Singapore? 2009? Because I remember somebody pacing around like a madman that morning, muttering something about needing more breakfast."
Seb glared at him, trying to stifle his grin. "I wasn’t nervous! I was… focused."
"Right, focused on finding an extra croissant," Jenson said, leaning into the mic. "He was unstoppable once he got it."
In a rare joint interview, Jenson and Seb sat down with a reporter, who knew that having these two together would be nothing short of entertaining chaos. The interviewer barely got to her first question before things went to chaos.
"So, Jenson," she began with a smile, "how do you and Seb keep such a good dynamic? I mean, you're known as one of the most iconic duos in the paddock, but there's clearly some… competitive spirit there."
Jenson gave a small chuckle, glancing over at Seb, who already had a smug grin. "Well, I think it’s because we’ve both come to terms with the fact that we'll never stop pranking each other."
Seb scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "Me? I’m the one who’s just a tiny bit competitive? Remember Monaco, Jen? You may as well have had steam coming out of your ears by the end of that one."
"Don’t act innocent, Seb," Jenson shot back, eyebrows raised. "Who was the one who replaced my car’s steering wheel with a pink one with ‘Princess’ written on it?"
Seb laughed, clearly proud of his prank. "Oh, come on! You did look quite royal with it."
The interviewer was grinning ear to ear, clearly loving their dynamic. "Okay, okay, let’s settle this! What’s the biggest prank you two have pulled on each other?"
Seb’s eyes sparkled, leaning forward like he’d been waiting for this question."That’s easy. Spain, last season. He had this brand new helmet design he’d been bragging about for weeks. It had all these fancy graphics, and he wouldn’t stop talking about it."
Jenson’s eyes widened as he realized what Seb was about to reveal. "Don’t you dare, Seb!"
"Oh, I’m telling them," Seb said, grinning. "So, I may have… slightly changed his helmet."
"Slightly?" Jenson cut in, exasperated. "You replaced my name with a cartoon donkey and slapped a rainbow on it!"
Seb was barely able to keep a straight face. "And it looked amazing. He didn’t realize it until he was already at the track, visor down, ready for the press photos."
Jenson shook his head, grinning despite himself. "Every photographer at the track got a picture of that disaster. You know how hard it was to live that down?"
The interviewer was in stitches, barely able to get her next question out. "Alright, Jenson, what’s the biggest prank you’ve pulled on Seb?"
"Oh, this one was good," Jenson said, rubbing his hands together like he was planning a grand scheme. "It was right before Silverstone, and Seb had just gotten this new superstitious thing about his driver’s suit. Something about ‘needing it perfectly creased’ for luck."
Seb rolled his eyes. "Don’t remind me."
"So, I… may have swapped his suit with one that was three sizes too small and had bright neon green stitching." Jenson shrugged, feigning innocence. "I figured if he really needed luck, he’d work with whatever he had."
Seb slapped his forehead, laughing. "I couldn’t even breathe in that thing! I walked around like a robot all morning until someone finally told me where he’d put my actual suit."
The interviewer chuckled, leaning in. "Do you two ever get tired of the pranks? I mean, don’t they ever just get exhausting?"
Seb and Jenson exchanged a look, then shook their heads in unison.
"It’s like an unspoken rule at this point," Jenson explained. "He pranks me, I prank him back. Keeps things interesting. And the paddock seems to find it entertaining." (he push me i push him back)
Seb nodded, adding, "And, hey, it makes those PR events a little less boring. Like that one event in Monaco where he wouldn’t stop complaining about the heat, so I ‘helped’ by swapping his water bottle with sparkling lemonade. Thought he’d appreciate the upgrade."
Jenson shot Seb a look. "Upgrade? Seb, it was carbonated. I sprayed half of it all over my suit before I realized it."
"Good times," Seb said, smiling like it was a fond memory.
The interviewer’s eyes twinkled with excitement as she moved on to her next question. "Alright, last one! If you could describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?"
Seb tapped his chin, pretending to think deeply. "Oh, that’s easy. Jenson is the most patient man on the planet… for putting up with me."
Jenson laughed, leaning back in his chair. "You got that right."
"And what about you, Jenson?" the interviewer asked, curious.
Jenson looked at Seb with a playful glint in his eye. "Sebastian Vettel… the grid’s biggest headache, but somehow my best friend."
Seb looked mock offended. "Hey, I prefer ‘legendary troublemaker.’"
They both burst out laughing, and the interviewer shook her head, thoroughly entertained. "Alright, I think we’ve got enough stories to keep F1 fans laughing for weeks!"
#alexavia writes 🍒#alexavia yaps 🍒#f1#formula 1#formula one#oneshot#driver x driver#sebastian vettel#jenson button#sv5#jb22#sv5 x jb22#jb22 x sv5#sebastian vettel x jenson button#jenson button x sebastian vettel#2010#2010 f1#2010 grid#mclaren#red bull#f1 oneshot#f1 oneshots#f1 fic#f1 story#story#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#f1 fanfiction#mitski
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Speaking of my experiences in Greece 🇬🇷
~ You can skip this post if you want lol; I just wanted to talk about my love for Greece and the trip I just took ~
I can honestly say that my trip to Greece has changed me as a person. I went at a time in my life where everything felt hopeless and I was processing some very major, very recent, traumas. To say the least, I was very stressed out leading up to this trip, and I remember praying to Hermes and Apollo for a life-changing experience in Greece, begging them for something to genuinely look forward to. And I got exactly what I asked for.
I have realized how seriously I've been taking both myself and the world around me and how much I desperately needed to take a step back and just enjoy life as it comes.
On my trip, I unfortunately got sick, and it made a lot of things very difficult. We had somewhat of a schedule to follow in the beginning, so it felt like I was struggling to keep up with everyone with my cold slowing me down. All I could think about was how much it sucked to be me, how much it sucked that I could barely keep up with everyone, how much I was a burden on others for something I literally could not control. And after needing to miss a night of festivities in order to finally rest, I realized just how harmful that thinking was. I finally noticed that hey, I have some actual agency over the thoughts I think and the things I feel. I thought I was at the mercy of mental illness and trauma, but as I took that day to rest, I realized that I really just needed to take care of myself and enjoy the things that I could participate in.
I also realized my POTS - a heart-related condition I have - does not have the right to control my entire life. I had to push myself quite hard in Greece, mostly in the last five days of our trip which was in Athens. It was blisteringly hot, and I had literal drops of sweat rolling down my face from the heat alone. Heat is a trigger of my POTS, so I was very concerned that something bad would happen but was extremely surprised when it didn't. Granted, my heart rate was constantly elevated - between 120-130 bpm - but overall, I was able to push myself to walk much farther than I ever thought I could. Although I'd never want to push myself that hard at a job (that would get exhausting to do each and every day 💀), I did at least find out that my limits are a lot further along than I previously assumed.
This experience has taught me so many things. Independence from my parents is essential and should be my first focus, any goal can be achieved through hard work and tenacity, I need to sit down and think about what I want to achieve in life and what gives me passion, self-confidence is crucial, who gives a single fuck what other people say or think if I'm happy, pessimism is not the same as realism, sometimes I make myself unhappy by solely focusing on the negatives, look at the world through the lens of child where even little things are amazingly captivating, it's ok to be generous with others as long as I'm also taking care of my own needs, I'm capable of doing a lot more physical activity before having health issues than I thought, and I will straight up never complain about being too hot ever again.
The Greek people are so impressively hard-working! They put a lot of passion and care into the things they love, and it was genuinely really inspiring. I'm so grateful I was able to participate in cultural traditions while I was there. Everyone was incredibly inviting, and it was refreshing to see such strong cultural values and traditions. Even when I was feeling shy or lacked confidence, I was encouraged to participate and just have a good time (being a bit tipsy made it all the merrier lol). I absolutely love Greece! I truly hope I can visit again soon.
I can't thank my gods enough for answering my prayers and providing me with something that will influence my life, and even my worship, from now on. I can't thank the people I met enough for teaching me lessons I never knew I needed to learn and treating me like a close friend or family. I'm so grateful for all the things I learned in Greece. I can now only hope that I will continue to change for the better.
#personal#just wanted to talk about my experiences in Greece#it's really important to me#and i will forever hold this trip close to my heart#it was the most fun I've had in literal years#i needed it
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i can find so many good references for web slinger cause i just get to look at pictures of arthur morgan
#a hat as once agin defeated me...#trying to get better at using this gouache#cause ive had it for years and never really used it...#i only bought it cause it was trending on tiktok in 2020 😭#its that himi jelly gouache set#and then it was too hard for me#so i gave up#and it all dried up#BUT NOW IM ACTUALLY TRYING#i like layering it with acrylics and colored pencils a lot#its actually kinda fun#a hat has once again defeated me...#im mainly using it cause its the closest thing i have to oil paint which i want soooo bad#but it would be kinda impractical for most of what i do#plus its expensive#but i still will get it eventually#i've literally had dreams about oil paint i want it that bad#once im famous and rich... (never)#miaushii art#spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#web slinger#spider man#atsv
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buncha photos of all the cool The Owl House cosplayers this year at ACEN!!! the meetup was so much fun 🥺 there is nothing funnier than somebody dropping one of their fake ears and everyone instinctively checking at the same time to make sure it wasn't ours
(+ me at the end as the last lilith!)
harpy lilith: @shadowluv101-blog
#liz blogs#toh#the owl house#toh cosplay#acen#anime central#acen 2023#anime central 2023#the owl house cosplay#toh meetup#might be going to anime midwest too which is a surprise but The Opportunity Is There#kind of want to get a wig but they give me migraines because so many of them are so tight#and theyre also. hot as all hell and conventions are already incredibly hot ordeals. i would Die#first photo taken by my brother because I Was In That One!!!#if anybody recognizes anyone here lmk and i will tag them#dat me#lilith clawthorne#lilith cosplay#lilith clawthorne cosplay#my ears were constantly falling off because i was wearing glasses and had a mask on almost the entire time#that's a lot to have on your ears#i dont think i photograph very well usually but i actually think i look ok in a lot of the pictures im in :)#everyone was literally so nice and so much fun to be around!!!!! that was the most fun i've had in years i swear
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE 😭#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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#okay so i think i haven't told this story to you guys but i've been thinking about it a lot waiting for the surgery day#(oh i guess content warnings for injury and animal death. idk all of this is pretty heavy stuff)#but when this dog was a puppy he broke his leg. quite badly actually#and for the following six months i was Convinced that both he and i had literally DIED#and the world around us just failed to recognize the blazing red Game Over text superimposed over my line of sight#so we - literal zombies still bleeding from our mortal wounds - had to perform the movements of being alive#this got better when the puppy was finally healed#but the flashbacks. the hallucinations. they followed me for years and years and only slowly faded away#and now when the dog is sick again - with something completely unrelated - those are coming back again! what fun!#and i don't know if i've ever been as scared of anything as actually for real losing this dog in a traumatic event#if he just dies this wednesday#like. probably he doesn't. most dogs survive the operation these days they say#but just the small chance of something going wrong#i don't know if i'll survive if he doesn't. how can i keep going if he doesn't#i'm scared you guys. this dog is the literal light of my life#(i was going to name him with the finnish word for light but that didn't stuck in the end. didn't make it any less true)#sussitalk
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not sure if this counts as an AU but.. thinking about the Per Aspera crew as horror game bosses like.. you are wandering through a forested mountain range and you know somethings wrong because the forest shouldn't be this eerily silent, this devoid of life, and then you hear the crash of falling trees and there is a hand that is half your size glowing golden in the night and it is grabbing you and its claws are digging into your flesh and you see the spines running down the golden arm that is far too long as it lifts you over a crater in mountain, over a coiled, serpentine thing with a visage that is not of this world, and if you look closely you can see the shape of a child curled at the centre of the thing, golden hair reflecting the glow of the creature and if you listen closely you can hear her sobbing, 'Don't hurt me, I don't want to do this'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see an ephemeral, resplendent spelljammer cutting through the starry waters and you rejoice because you have been lost on the seas for so so long, so you board the ship looking for help, supplies, anything, and you are greeted by a blue fire genasi (you wonder, do those even exist? but you can't get off the ship now because where else will you go?) and she tells you she is the captain of this ship but as far as you can tell there is no crew on board, and if she is not appearing right behind you from a trapdoor you've never noticed she is always in the engine room 'fixing the ship' even though the ship seems to be sailing perfectly fine ('Where are we going?' you ask her once and she doesn't even turn to look at you, 'Don't worry about it') and if you are ever so unlucky as to damage the ship in any way, you begin to catch flashes of red and orange out of the corner of your eye, a fire genasi wearing the woman's face who whispers at you with hollow, angry eyes 'Don't you fucking dare hurt my ship'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see a rotting, decaying spelljammer, so badly damaged it's barely moving although you have to wonder how it's even staying afloat at all, and out of some morbid curiosity you climb on board and the deck of the ship is in no better shape than the hull, the marks of hard-fought battle - scars in the wood from sharp blades and arcane energies, stains of blood and oil splattered about - still fresh but you know time doesn't pass on the astral sea so who knows how long ago this all took place, and as you climb below decks you start to notice the writings on the walls, pieces of parchment nailed to every surface and connected with fraying, rotting threads, or words etched directly into the wood, the deep gouges barely readable, and you start to hear the creaking and clanking of rusted machinery slowly moving about and you turn a corner to see a figure standing in a room facing the wall, slowly scratching yet more of that unintelligible writing into the bones of the ship, and it turns as the rusted dented mechanite stares at you with eyes ablaze and he asks 'Who are you? Where is my crew?' as sparks of arcane lightning begins to arc through the room. you are running through a feywild forest and you know, even without the figure chasing you, that you have made a horrible mistake, you should have known better, should have been more careful, should have kept your impulses in check, and now you are being chased through an unfamiliar forest and the figure, the Hunter pursuing you knows this realm like the back of his hand, knows every tree and shrub and vine that is slithering up to grasp at your ankles, and you glance back desperately to catch any glimpse of your pursuer but there is no pursuer, he has hidden himself with some arcane trick or some innate power or just the knowledge that this realm is his home, and you hear his voice even though you cannot see him as he cries out 'You should not have hurt my family. Prepare to face the Hunter of Hundkiln'
sorry no Vhas yet maybe I'll update with one for him once we get more of his whole deal
#rolling with difficulty#asto speaks#well i lied only kyana's and finbar's really work as video game bossfights#dani's is more... horror short story? vr-la's is horror comic#bc dani's much more psychological and the environmental storytelling of vr-la's one would be pretty interesting.. probably#in hindsight vr-la's reads like it could be a magnus archive entry LMAO#contrary to whatever you may think (especially if youre in the discord) i dont actually like most horror#like i've only listened to abt ~10 episodes of tma bc it started fucking up my sleep thats how much of a wuss i am#like i dont actually *enjoy* horror but idk i had so much fun writing this. for some reason#hell i dont even enjoy *writing* most of the time#all the others are kinda based on a specific scenario like kyana's is if she never left the cenobium and suvi snapped before she did#(if you've watched/read jjk0 video game bossfight suvi is very much just orimoto rika)#vr-la's and finbar's are pretty self evident#dani's is kinda.. inspired by alfonso of the stultifera navis making this my second rwd brainworm that's just an arknights reference#captains that are cursed to haunt their empty ships plagued with has beens and could have beens#(her one is the only one absolutely not meant to be read as literal btw its a very 'that house has been empty for 40 years' kinda vibe)#found it kinda funny that dani's and vrla's start in very similar ways bc they both kinda have that i am the ship and the ship is me thing#dani's vibe in this is just more illusions and delusions and vrla's is more decaying forgotten grief#a ghost of a mechanite haunting a corpse of a ship
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so a while ago i made my alarm clock a news reader and today i woke up to a man saying ''news has just broken that liam payne aged 31 has died, falling from a balcony in buenos aires'' right next to my ear
fucking horrifying, i've never woken up that fast
#i'm shaken to the core#it was literally half an hour ago and i immediately spent like 20min scrolling through tiktok to see ppl talking about it#bc the first thing i thought about was how this happened now right when all that shit came up and ppl have been making fun of him#and shitting on him#- for completely valid reasons! bc of the allegations and ppl stepping forward etc but still#and i have to say i'm incredibly thankful that i've clearly interacted with the right ppl/accounts on there#bc the algorithm pretty much only showed me ppl talking about how it's important to remember that you're allowed to feel to things at once#that you are allowed to grieve him and still acknowledge what he did#that what tmz did was despicable and that he and his family didn't deserve that#and that you still shouldn't fucking harass the girls who came forward about him and you should still listen to them#that you can grieve for the version of him you thought he was when you were younger#and still be angry at the person he had become these past few years#and for the love of god to not harass the family or the other 1d members for tributes or harass maya henry or anyone else related to it#i think i might still be a little bit in shock#i can't feel anything#it just feels so surreal#1d was literally the reason i came to tumblr the reason i found fandom as a concept and it was a huge part of my life for so many years#so despite not being the biggest fan of him specifically esp lately it's still a huge shock and horror somehow#i remember thinking when i was younger that one day i would hear that one of the 1d member had died#and it felt insurmountable and absurd and horrible#but most of all i was just so sure it would be waaaay down the line#not now#anyway i just needed to come and let it out#rambles#ignore me
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godddd there are so many things happening in my life that i know will eventually fix me. i am so excited to live the life i am cultivating for myself and just so happy i get to be here
#i just feel so. able. like i am able to do so much if i just give myself a little time#but yeah basically i'm starting the process to get diagnosed with adhd. we been knew for years but because of said adhd#i've been putting it off🤠 and the process will take months or years who knows but it's good to know i am finally committing to it#i also got a bike and had a very intense day of learning how to drive it in traffic. BUT i got over the initial anxiety and turns out#i'm really good at it!!! AND it's so much fun to ride it ofc cars scare me but there's a million other paths i can take. AND IT'S HEALTHY#also i will go back to working hybrid and i know most people would hate that but i think it's going to be good for me#i love the banter in the office and one of my coworkers is literally a close friend at this point. i just feel so content.#this is the right path. i just know it.#m.txt
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tired of people thinking i have a “talent” with kids. getting along with children doesn’t require any special ability. it’s as easy as being understanding and patient. if you just stop and open your adult brain you might discover kids have very important and smart things to say
#stop thinking children are below you just bc you're an adult and start considering more the things they tell you! it's actually a lot of fun#i've had kids tell me more interesting and insightful things than many of the adults in my life#i think being a teacher has opened my brain a lot and i wish i could tell others how important it is#to be considerate to kids and listen to them!!!! literally that's the most important part as well as treating them like another person#and not just someone who's dumber just bc they don't know many of the things you do#don't dumb down kids! don't baby talk a 7 year old! talk to them like normal and listen to them god LISTEN TO THE FUCKING CHILDREN PLEASEEEE
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I CANNOT BE DOING THIS. THIS IS NOT WHAT I INTENDED TO DO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#HELP.#I JUST. I JUST. wanted to do a silly easy comic.... one that has rattled around in my head for Years#but i just never got to it. and as i was thinking about it i had some silly fun character moments too i'm SO proud of tbh#LIKE..... it's SUCH a Specific Thing. but it adds SO MUCH....... i can't wait to fully draw it out it's so silly#but. one snippet of this comic. does use/reference one part of alfonse's 40 convo. and i was really struggling to place the emotion here.#so i start pouring over the conversation more broadly trying to pinpoint what motions he might be going through here#i'm sketching them out on lined paper. i'm thinking about what moe is thinking/feeling. i'm. oh no.#I WANTED AN EASY COMIC. NOT SHARENA LEVEL 40 CONVO 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#THE MOST FUCKED UP THING. is literally as i was In the Process of that sharena convo comic#i truly felt like there was no alfonse equivalent. bc moe's head was probably empty about it.#it was probably just like. hah. got you bitch. also maybe a bit of a red flag but he's nicies. and i'm doing it better than him. so.#LIKE.... head empty my ass actually. there is a REASON i've been obsessed w him for years.#ALSO .... MOE..... PLEASE..... moe really does have. Tendencies.#anyways i'm. on the cusp of this. if you never see me again you know what happened.
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I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible
Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen
#sorry i. need to vent#he is genuinely one of the most ignorant; stubborn; and absolutely manchild of a man I've ever seen#I'm not fucking lying when I say he gets pissy and shouts and complains about EVERYTHING#and I don't mean just occasional shouting and getting loud#whenever he's upset. its /loud/. very loud#first time in my 5 years of knowing him I had enough and snapped back at him because he was yelling at me-#-bc I supposedly do absolutely nothing around the house and I take horrible care of myself and dont care about anything#at least in regards to the house#and complains about why I'm deciding not to go to college and that he got a job at 15 while he's literally#in his mid 40's#so.#like.#I told him I'm still 18 and I dont want him to boss around my entire fucking life but he brought up the excuse again of-#-him doing all the shit I SHOULD be doing by his words when he was 15#first of all. like. to get things straight; we are not related at all not even in the slightest#he's my mothers bf; I don't know why he gets so pissy at me about MY life of all things#like Jesus Christ shut up challenge impossible#yeah I had a fun (/s) moment earlier where I went to clean my dish and he started to snap at me about how I-#-walk past the dishes every day while they're piled up and I should do them. meanwhile. they're literally not mine. ever#I get it yeah but. whatever. he kept going onn and on and on and got even more upset with me literally not saying or doing anything to-#-provoke him more#Ig he just doesn't know that!! wow!! I do actually care about my life and future!!!!#and that getting a job is not that easy or the same as it was 30+ fucking years ago!! wow!! who would've guessed!!!!#Like genuinely i am literally trying to get a job rn and shit and have been stressing horribly about it for literal YEARS#but yeah ignore that I guess ok sure buddy#god sorry i.. really hate him. a lot#I dont like to hate on people really; esp if im accustomed to them. but him. he. no <3#I will say I hate him w my full chest#vent#negative post
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like
#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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f zero 99 has been consuming my life these past few days and it will probably keep doing it
#it's just SO good#i love that game#literally one of the best games to come out in the past few years#the most fun i've had with a game in forever
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#hello everyone we actually hit both 4k posts and 6k followers today merry christmas#just wanted to make a quick post and say thank u the fact that so many people like our content and put up with my unhinged text posts#means a lot to me <3#i hope u all had a lovely christmas or sunday if u don't celebrate christmas#maybe i'll get sappier in the new year but thank u all for the support :((#really thankful for the friends i've made here and that i still have so much fun running this blog after more than two years#i hada nice christmas personally. got new pajamas and a special pillowcase that is cooler than regular pillowcases#and will hopefully help me to not wake up w a runny nose most mornings asdfsdgdg#i took a nap today on it and it was comfy af#also got money which is always cool#and a treadmill from my dad for the whole family so ya girl is gonna start WALKING regularl#went over to my grandma's for dinner and got to play with her tiny gremlin dog#very fun#getting to 6k followers is a sweet lil extra christmas gift#kinda surreal honestly#that's literally half the crowd of any of the skz concerts in the usa wtf#there are a lot of u...#i will continue to make stuff 🫡#and hopefully mary will come home soon mary i miss u#carly.txt
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