#it was supposed to have more cans but i lazy
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holopossums Ā· 8 months ago
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"I thought you'd be back by 11."
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myuminji Ā· 1 year ago
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dedicated to the audience: me, myself, and Iā€” I finished the discarded sketch
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thebad-lydrawn-sanses Ā· 1 year ago
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Cross's assumption is correct, that's exactly what I'm implying. So be a good boy and lay down pls :3
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Cross: you-
Killer: implying what?
Cross: that they're gonna break my leg
Killer: .
ā†“ Damage Count ā†“
999999999
999999999
999999999
999999999
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moxielynx Ā· 5 months ago
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Redraw of a shitpost from 2021. Looking at this and the original has me kinda floored at how much I improved
Og image + the og drawing ā¬‡ļøā¬‡ļø
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fun fact a majority of the shitposts I made back in 2021, including this one, were with a mouse because I would make them during zoom calls so I couldnā€™t use my drawing tablet lmao
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karizipan Ā· 2 years ago
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get me out of here oh mt god
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zebratimw Ā· 2 years ago
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a āœØļøbreak down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake šŸ’€#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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mysicklove Ā· 8 months ago
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iā€™ve read so much fanfiction today i think my brain is actually rotting
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gammaraydeath Ā· 1 month ago
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ah lads this semester is not going well for me. the adhd caught up
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serialgirlposter Ā· 2 years ago
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Ohhh for the drawing requests could you do Margaret Moonlight? shes my fave! glad to see other nmh heroes fans
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Here she is! Her theme slaps so hard tho
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spiritoast Ā· 2 years ago
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THEYRE DONE. THEYRE DONE (EXPLODES
sooo uhhmm im making a whole bunch of proper character refs in preparation for artfight next month and i already had bits and pieces for all three of my loathing guys so i knocked em out first. including my WoL girlie who ive never rlly posted abt before. grins
im gonna blab abt them a little more mostly just things i couldnā€™t fit into the sheet proper and i wonā€™t go Too INTO into the story things i have for them. maybe ill talk about them more another time but. aheem heem. under the cut thatā€™ll go
JOHNNY GOLDSMITH
Jazz Agent, protag of my (almost. herngh) max shadow taint + curse run that I still havenā€™t finished. Private investigator, sleazy loser, enjoyer of fine shades. The P.I. part comes in with a missing person case that doesnā€™t really go anywhere. Donā€™t worry about it. He may or may not be doomed to destroy all of eternity at some point leading to an endless loop of resurrection and re-destruction but we arenā€™t quite there yet so ssshhh we stay stilly abt it <3
Notable Perks: Ambition, Insectologist
Companions: Alphonse Gator, Simone Chekhov
GRIZZLY MAYNARD
Cow Puncher, protag of my first successful hard hat run (and potential protagonist of a one-day hard hat run if I ever do one of those because i am too attached to her oops). Normal farm girl turned Literal Demonā„¢ after she gets a little silly and makes a deal with the Hellcows to protect her family should they start going east that basically boils down toĀ ā€œIf you canā€™t beatĀ ā€˜em, joinā€™ emā€. Sheā€™s not evil but she mightā€™ve accidentally started that aforementioned endless loop by screwing with Ancient Evils stuck in a stupid-looking hat. #girl
Notable Perks: Boon of Duke Bovicus, Cowrrupted, Honorable
Pardner: Doc Alice
HUGH WILLOUGHBY
Cheese Wizard, protag of my initial blind run of Shadows and. aheem. future protag for a 100% max difficulty run. My explanation for them being here twice isĀ ā€œtime loopā€. Just a simple pyrokinetic trying to survive who is ever-so-slightly doomed to be permanently lost to time and space and then be erased and recreated ad infinitum thanks to the meddling of some schmoe with a grease gun and stupid sunglasses. If you even LOOK at them with a hint of ill intent they will start trembling like a chihuahua . sorry
Notable Perks: Checkered Past, Cryptobotanist
Companions: Molly Buttons, Barker
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arolesbianism Ā· 4 months ago
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I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds
#rat rambles#stars posting#I wanna make a thing for odile's parallel scene to the bathroom scene were sif forgets odile's name#but it takes place in the traps room by the wood carving tools which isn't the worst room to have to draw ig but I still dont want to#I could just take the lazy route and just sketch the scene so I can get it out of my head and I probably will#but at the same time I also should draw more stuff with backgrounds even if it makes me want to throw up and cry#but yeah the scene is basically just odile having a derealization moment while thinking abt the wooden odile carving sif made for her#just her looking at it and feeling nothing and trying to look ahead at siffrin expecting to be reminded of what it's supposed to make her#feel and just being met with the same emptyness in her chest as she can barely even recognize the person in front of her until they look#back at her and their expression shifts into a extremely concerned one#does that make sense? idk if Im explaining it well but I hope it makes sense#but yeah smth smth them becoming less real to eachother overtime much to the horror of both#also unrelated but I need to start rotating loop in this au in my head more theres so much to work with here#I have some vague ideas and thoughts but I have been too odile brained to properly elaborate on those in my head#Im honestly just glad Ive finally made an au that I can actually get invested in fleshing out#I havent rly found a good headspace to rly play around with the main cast but this is actually giving me smth to chew on#usually most thoughts I have abt isat just lead to me thinking abt my ocs lol#regardless Im having fun with this au and I hope that I can bring myself to commit to it#also Ive been trying to think of a decent name for this au and Im half tempted to call it from the top or smth but I feel like Im tempted#to call like every story I make that so Im on the fense abt it#especially since thats what Ive been planning on calling the prologue for spiraling upwards#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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squishosaur Ā· 1 year ago
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she asked her what she studied, what she read so late at night, the thoughts that filled her notebooks, and the stars that filled her eyes.
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danielnelsen Ā· 10 months ago
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thereā€™s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but iā€™m just too sick, i have no energy, i canā€™t sleep, iā€™m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, iā€™m stressed and irritable and impatient and panickyā€¦ā€¦.how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i canā€™t even manage this when i donā€™t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although iā€™m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever iā€™m in remission itā€™s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ā€˜flaresā€™#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but thisā€¦ā€¦.thereā€™s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#iā€™m a little concerned about my joints tho. theyā€™ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so iā€™m kinda worried iā€™m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if thatā€™s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv iā€™m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#iā€™ve done that before but itā€™s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i canā€™t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#ā€˜oh youā€™re so lucky you donā€™t have as many obligations because youā€™re chronically illā€™ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasnā€™t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ā€˜very lazy and complaining a lotā€™#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher whoā€™s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didnā€™t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#iā€™m just rambling now because i canā€™t sleep and i donā€™t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. thatā€™s been keeping me entertained
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hesperidia Ā· 9 months ago
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On the topic of Dazai finding out Akutagawa died:
It's probable that he absolutely knows, finding out while in Mersault. It would make a lot of sense if Ango notified him first thing (given that Ango was also the first person Atsushi told about what happened at the ship). Another situation would be Ango hiding this information from him in order to not give him more baggage while dealing with Fyodor, but this seems unlikely.
Dazai would feel guilty i think, because why would he feel "happy" that Akutagawa is not killing anymore if he didn't care at all about him?
He doesn't know Akutagawa comes back. And he's not going to make it to Japan in less than 2hrs, so he will find out he's alive way after the rest of the cast (unless he and Chuuya communicate with Mori or Ango in the meantime).
So, i think Dazai would not have the guts to face Akutagawa afterwards, because he's deathly allergic to admit he ever fucked up. There should be a re-encounter, and an apology, but it should not be warm. though it probably would be and i'd hate that
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ruvviks Ā· 7 months ago
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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it
#personal#like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand#it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character#but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it#you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences#if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such#basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending#locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on#friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like#how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone#it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out#because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want#if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending#but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as#valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that#isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because#valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO#you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience#if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead#you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons#there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like#learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation#sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa#sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule#and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise#being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save#but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on#difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla#and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things
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gay-fordeath Ā· 5 months ago
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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