#it was relatively normal for me the day they did it although I was def still having symptoms lmao

[mosspapi]

Semi-related but not really. Why the fuck was my heartrate 163 at 9:30 this morning. I hadn't even left the house yet and I'd only been out of bed for like. 10 minutes max.

[savagesbonergarage]

Are you looking for prompts? 👀 Can I offer you predator/prey kink with Maul (or Savage?) I’ll just... leave this here...

Oh?

I know that @fallenrepublick has already written an excellent Maul one here, but Savage...I can't say I've seen one with the big boye anywhere yet (though correct me if I'm wrong)...

Guess that's my duty now...oh no...😏

A/N: Smuuuuuuuut, it's kinda long, wilderness survival, taking a leak (like just peeing outdoors in general, if that makes you uncomfortable you can skip it), maybe a pee kink though?? Is it a pee kink if there's no real indication of it being one? Someone will have to let me know lol, general roughness, rough sex, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, aftercare

Savage

"Instinct"

The wind rustled softly through the trees, the scent of fresh mountain air and the the temporary security of your height advantage almost offering you a moment of respite. You had stationed yourself near the top of an adequately concealed tree, it's sturdy branches sufficient enough to keep you up and away from immanent danger for the time being.

You were feeling quite pleased with yourself, if you were being honest. It had been a few days that you had managed to avoid his pursuit, a milestone you weren't quite sure you'd ever be able to achieve, and yet here you were. The few wilderness survival tips that you had learned in your youth inevitably seemed to pay off, as you remained cognizant of as much as you could regarding yourself and your environment that could potentially alert a predator. Rarely did you ever touch the ground of the forest floor, opting to remain high up in the forgiving trees that allowed for your nimbleness to be used as an advantage. You moved slowly, always making sure that your sounds blended together alongside the other calls of nature that wouldn't give way to your position, and you always shifted with the winds to ensure that the breeze never dispersed your scent around.

Savage was certainly the epitome of a predator, and an enhanced one at that - however, you'd studied him enough to understand the drawbacks that came with his awesome power. By his very nature, stealth wasn't his defining trait. At all. Were he to get anywhere within your field of vision, you would know about it without a doubt by the flocks of birds that scrambled to the skies in the distance or the cracking of branches coupled with his screams of frustration that filled the open air. You had to admit, you almost found it cute how you were finally getting the upper hand on him for once.

Although, this only meant that when or if he did catch you, you'd be shown no mercy.

It seemed your tactics this time around were working rather well though, and you considered that perhaps after one more day of survival that you'd approach him and declare yourself the victor in this dangerous game. Oh, the humiliation he would feel from his failure...the mighty Savage Opress, unable to hunt down the creature he craved for the first time. It probably irked him terribly that you were remaining relatively stagnant within the treetops as opposed to frantically running about like a frightened animal, which was likely a large factor in the enjoyment of it for him - the thrill of the chase.

Normally, you might have indulged him a bit more and better acted the part that he desired you to play, but this time, oh, this time, you were determined. Back home, he'd jokingly let slip that if you were ever to evade him long enough, he'd don a fluffy tunic and ears and call himself an ewok. That right there was all the motivation you'd ever need - nothing was going to come between you and getting to see what would inarguably be the most hilarious sight in the galaxy.

Dusk was fast approaching, and although there was still no sign of the beast that was hunting you, it was detrimental that you carefully selected a sturdy tree with tall, wide branches that you could conceal with the surrounding foliage nearby while you slept leaning against it. It was hardly comfortable and you could only rest for maybe a few hours at a time, but it was certainly safer than sleeping on the ground. You gathered your necessities and carefully arranged yourself against a wide branch and drifted off.

It wasn't long before the chill of the night air roused you from sleep. You had to admit, the worst part out of all of this was how damn cold it was being exposed to the wind in inadequate layers for these temperatures. You quietly shuffled around in an attempt to get comfortable, but in doing so you realized an uncomfortable truth.

Damn. I have to pee.

This was gonna be tricky. Finding a place to do so safely was half the battle, since you'd be making yourself completely vulnerable for a short while and if Savage happened to be somewhere nearby, no matter how quiet you were, he'd likely be able to smell you. A slightly gross fact, but an important one. He was a predator, after all. You'd managed to get by this far, and you had been avoiding drinking water for this very reason - also, because he would likely wait near the water for you to show up to inevitably drink.

Being tired, dehydrated, cold and full of pee wasn't ideal, and you couldn't wait for the morning to get here so this game could finally end. You were even starting to wonder if this was really going to be worth it once it was over. Sure, watching Savage embarrass himself was always an entertaining prospect, but right now, you just wanted to be held against him and his warmth even more. You sighed. Only a few more hours, and then you could gloat in his face for a second before snuggling up to his blissfully comfortable frame.

But for now, you still had to pee. You debated over whether or not you could potentially hold it until morning, but the answer to that was a resounding negative. It would be fine. You'd survived every other time, and you'd survive this time. Tentatively, you carefully and quietly lowered yourself to the ground, cursing the night for being so dark. Ideally, you'd want to find a place far enough away from here to go so that you wouldn't be literally marking your territory - but you didn't have any light, or Savage's reflective night sight, and you didn't have his other senses that absolutely trumped your own.

For the first time, the fear was finally starting to creep over you. It was times like this that you got so deep in your own head that you started to forget that this was really all just a game, and not an actual quest for survival; but that's how Savage liked it. You scoffed under your breath when you realized this, resolving to unbuckle your pants and simply relieve yourself right where you were. If Savage did happen to come through here, it was likely that he would assume you followed your usual thought process of maintaining distance from where you actually were rather than look up that very tree. That's how you had been operating so far; besides, there were only a few hours left. What were the chances of-

You heard a faint rustle of leaves somewhere behind you, and the panic started to settle in. That could have been anything, you told yourself as you attempted to calm down your anxiety. You couldn't really do much about it right now, since, well, you were already going. If you tried to push it faster that would only make it louder, and if you tried to scurry back up the tree in the middle of it, it would get everywhere and act as a billboard to your location. You sighed quietly, counting down the seconds until it was done in an attempt to quiet your racing heart.

You had that sinking feeling that you weren't alone. Your eyes darted around only to find that you truly couldn't see a thing, and you determined that the best course of action now was to just calmly finish up and quietly scale back up the tree.

You had just gotten your pants back over your hips when an animalistic growl erupted from behind you, and just like that, it was over. Savage had you pinned between his muscular, gargantuan form and the trunk of the tree, your arms bound to your sides in the grip of his massive hands. There was no way in hell you'd be able to wriggle free, and the adrenaline coursing through you in being captured was making you tremble. You could feel the heavy beating of his twin hearts against your back and his hot breath against your neck, and with a growl he pressed his hips against you until you could clearly feel the outline of his massive, throbbing cock against the small of your back.

"I got you. You're mine."

There was a frightening agitation in his bellowing voice that shook you, and the feeling was only worsened when you heard the scrape of one of his long horns against the bark of the tree as he brought his mouth closer to your ear.

"You think you can get away with hiding from me...? Keeping me hunting you for so long, and then teasing me like that..."

You were breathless, unable to utter a reply even if you'd had one ready before one of his powerful hands yanked your pants back down to your ankles. His claws left mild scrapes against your thigh, a concern that he was usually more cautious of, but not this time. It was clear that he was going to punish you for making him wait so long. You could barely squeak out his name when you felt his teeth rip into the layers of fabric covering your torso. With the aid of his claws he tore the garments from your body, spitting the cloth from his mouth as he revelled in the satisfaction of "skinning" you. You shivered, the heat from the zabrak's body the only thing keeping you warm now.

He flipped you so that you were facing him, the harshness of the tree bark against your bare skin making you wince as you watched him pull his monster dick out from the prison of his pants. No matter how many times you witnessed that reveal, your reaction was always the same. You looked into his glowing golden eyes, a predatory hunger there that sent both fear and heat straight through to your core. You swallowed drily, gazing into his face with a submissive look of defeat as he continued pinning you by your shoulders.

"You got me," you breathed, "I'm yours."

That did it for him. Without another word, he palmed the meat of your thighs and hoisted your legs up to hold you in place as your back rested against the rough tree, causing you to hitch your breath as Savage hungrily lined himself up with your entrance, the sheer amount of precum he leaked serving as lube before he pushed his hips forward. It was a little more forced than usual, and on top of that it had been a while since the last time you'd taken him, with your walls struggling to adjust to the stretch in order to accommodate his size. Your jaw was hanging open and your head immediately rolled back as you felt more and more full with each thrust, Savage gripping your thighs harder and exhaling a groan when he finally bottomed out.

There was a brief moment of hesitation, a pause for a reality-check as Savage lightly tapped his fingers against you. It was a subtle way of asking for permission, acknowledging that although this was your "punishment" and his reward, he still needed to know that you really wanted it like this, and that you were okay. Your response was an affirmation in the form of a squeeze on his forearm and a slight roll of your hips, with the look in your eyes pleading for him to take what he desired.

So, he did. With one strong, massive arm supporting you under your ass and the other pulling you closer to him, he backed away from the tree entirely and moved your arms to wrap around his neck so you could leverage yourself while he fucked the absolute life out of you. The noises that were escaping your lips were just as perverse as the sound of skin-on-skin echoing with vulgar, wet slaps throughout the forest, your mind already turning to mush. He was hitting everything, even when he wasn't really trying, so it took hardly any time at all before your eyes were rolling back and you felt that knot building up in your core. He didn't let up, his pace almost quickening with every desperate whine that escaped your throat.

"Savage, I-"

"Not yet," he commanded, pressing your chest firmly against his as he continued, "not until I say so."

You whined even louder, your hands moving up to hold onto his horns as he continued fucking you without mercy, that ache in your stomach growing more and more unbearable the longer you tried to push it back. Your breaths were desperate and rapid, with your face and chest flushing as red as a Dathomirian sunset with every passing second. You didn't know how much longer you could last, but you wanted to try your best for him.

"Please, I can't...!"

"Just a little more," Savage replied, relishing in the way your body was trying so hard not to break as he resumed his deliciously aggressive thrusts. Your hands moved from his horns to dig your fingers into his broad shoulders, your desperation reaching near-unfathomable limits.

"Savage, I can't-I can't-I can't-I'm-!"

You screamed as he finally allowed you to tip over the edge, having timed his release with yours so that you could ride out your highs in tandem. It was almost too much, the ecstacy of your edged climax intensifying with every twitch of Savage's pulsing cock so deep inside painting your gripping walls with heat. Even minutes later you were still quivering, barely coherent as your whines eventually began to die down and your lover held you tightly in his arms, before gently pulling his softening dick out of you once you had stopped clenching around his length.

He pressed a firm kiss against your temple as he waited for you to catch your breath, also ensuring that the majority of the unbelievable mess the two of you had made spilled out onto the grassy ground. Once he was satisfied, he moved one arm beneath both of your knees used the other to support your shoulders, keeping you close to him in this more comfortable position as he planted another long kiss to your forehead. He always thought it was cute when you were entirely spent like this, limp in his arms like a bag of grain as you relaxed in the afterglow.

"Are you alright?" He whispered against your forehead, lovingly stroking your arm as he did so. You responded with a soft smile and an affirmative hum, resting your hands against his broad tattooed chest as you curled in closer to him.

"I'm ready to go home," you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

"Agreed. Let's get you some water and a hot bath."

Your heart fluttered, filling your chest with silent praises for him and rhetorical questions of what you did to deserve being here in the arms of this gentle, fearsome predator. He began the trek home, smiling to himself as a thought crossed his mind.

"You know," he began conversationally, "if you wanted to see me dressed as an ewok so badly, you could have just asked. I would have done it for you, anyway."

[yaz-the-spaz]

Do you think Joe Jonas and Sophie are really together and really have a baby? I’m curious what you think since you have followed three fake 1D pregnancies and I think you said you were a Jonas Brothers fan. Sorry if I’m mixing you up with another blog! I’m not in the JB fandom but I occasionally read about them and I like Joe and Sophie as people. But the way their relationship and Nick & Priyanka’s relationship have been portrayed in the media seems PR/bearding to me.

i am indeed an og jobros fan (been so since about '07) and i agree with you about the way both brothers' relationships have been weirdly pushed to the fandom and portrayed in the media (esp inserting all their wives into the music vids and whatnot and making most early comeback promo all about their marriages/wives, ugh no thank you). but i have to admit i've kinda tuned most of the relationship stuff out the same way i often do for ot5, though that tuning out is prob on a much heavier scale for the jobros these days cause 1) i just don't have the energy lol and 2) i've first and foremost ALWAYS been here for the music above everything else when it comes to any musicians i like. (my paying as much attention to personal lives or relationships like i have for ziam/ot5 was a novelty tbh, and probably a standalone from any other music/artist-related fandoms i have been or will ever be in)

that said, from the little i've seen/heard of things, nick's is absolutely a pr relationship and i believe that with my whole soul. i don't feel like i need a lot to go on to see that they don't really have much chemistry or seem compatible as people. ofc i could always remain to be surprised but i don't think i will. they'll probably get quietly divorced in another couple years/whenever the contract becomes less advantageous or they get tired enough of each other.

as for joe & sophie, it's harder to tell...again, possibly cause i just haven't paid close enough attention to things. but on the surface i will say they seem genuinely very compatible and warm/cute and friendly together so even if it isn't legit, i think there is some degree of friendship (or some sort of positive working relationship and some common interests/personality traits) there at least. although like i said, i could be wrong and just be being fooled by the few surface interactions i've seen and my not paying closer attention.

HOWEVER

the pics i've seen of them out and about with the baby were indeed what caught my eye and made me more genuinely start wondering if there was something a little odd there as it rings a little too closely with z's "family outing" pics wherein joe looks about as interested to be there as eleanope at a louis concert lol. which is to say he's often on his phone/looking away/standing or walking like 500 feet away with around 2 feet of space from sophie or the stroller when he's not looking bored af pushing it (or looking like he could care less about having to be out with them on a pap walk), and from what i could see never actually holding the kid himself. it definitely looks odd, but again i'm not as up on the details and from what bits i did see of sophie's pregnancy and their relationship beforehand from dating to the marriage things def looked a lot more "normal" than they ever did w/ z*gi or ch*am or laya (though ofc normal is relative lol, esp in the world of pr dating and closeting. but like at least joe&sophie had actual freaking baby bags and blankets while out, didn't take their newborn out in the middle of fucking snowstorms in the middle of the night where literally zero other grown adults even felt safe enough to be outside, and sophie got photog'd with a legitimate pregnant belly out and about multiple times and not weirdly trying to hide it, etc.). i will admit the vegas wedding was a tad weird and out of left field but at the same time still felt very much in character for joe's rather eccentric personality (and sophie who seems like a bit of a weirdo in a fun way too from what i've seen of her lol). so all that in mind i'm still inconclusive on them (the pics could just be happenstance cause maybe he just didn't want him or his family being dragged through obligatory pap walks by whoever greenlit it and that was his way of getting through it, or was genuinely just killing time while they walked, or maybe there really is something larger there idk)...i'm keeping a very tiny corner of an eye on it, and an open mind to multiple possibilities, but just don't have enough info (or motivation) to dive into it enough to really say anything conclusive for sure 🤷🏽‍♀️

[letsperaltiago]

a calm surrender to the rush of day

Jake’s had a few too many beers when he’s sent back home to Amy and his still relatively new son. It’s all good and cute, promise. Peak domestic Peraltiago. This oneshot is based on a prompt on this list.

#98: "I think we should have another"

Read on AO3 here

Amy was fast asleep in their bedroom when the sudden sound of the front door lock clicking and shifting followed by a half-hearted slam jolted her awake. For a very brief second, with her heart galloping in her chest as a result of the shock, Amy was utterly disoriented and the uneasy feeling was definitely not peculiar when you happened to live in a city that was ranked way too high on the Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities in America – a club she did not particularly enjoy being a part of. Although, as fast as it had encased her body to begin with, the shock quickly wore off the second she heard shifting and rumbling paired with a “shit” coming from what she figured out must’ve been the living room.

Jake, she realized, suddenly remembering why he wasn’t currently beside her in bed but rather out with some friends from the academy – or, at least, was.

In an attempt to put the final puzzle pieces in place she leaned over to grab her phone wondering how long he’d out and about for. The time revealed itself across her lock screen picture of Jake, fast asleep on their couch a few days after their son’s arrival with said son resting beneath his hands and on his chest. 3:11 AM – no wonder why she could barely keep her eyes open. There was a second of wondering if she should just turn over, go back to sleep and let Jake come join her whenever he was ready, but something else on the screen caught her eye before she could ultimately decide on doing so: 3 texts from Rosa with the last being from around 30 minutes prior.

Rosa Diaz – 12:39 PM Dude, Jake is horrible. He won’t shut up about you and the baby and for some reason the other guys from the academy seem to be eating it up. I hate it. What have you done to him?

Rosa Diaz – 1:56 AM Nvm. I take it back. He just paid a second round of beers to celebrate, and I quote, “His miracle baby”. Please get pregnant more. Means more free booze.

Rosa Diaz – 2:47 AM Def spoke too soon. He just threw up at my feet. We’re waiting outside the bar for his cab. I’m sending him home to you. Texts me when he gets there. Also: good luck lol. He’s stupid drunk.

Almost as if Jake had read the text as well, as to emphasize its point, Amy could hear him stumble into the bathroom across the hall to, what she chose to believe, grab his toothbrush but instead knocking over the glass holding it generating a loud commotion which tore throughout the entire apartment.

Amy’s head immediately as per instinct shot in the direction of her 3-month old’s crib, which stood against the wall on her side just a few feet away. Apart from the limited amount of Catholic traditions she’d grown up with living with her parents she wasn’t particularly religious, but right then and there she internally prayed that her son, who she’d spent an hour getting back to sleep just 3 hours ago, wasn’t woken up by her father’s drunken circus. She held her breath as a few, way too long seconds went by: no cry. Amy’s chest dropped in relief.

Moments like these were tiny victories that she as a brand new first-time mom held onto for dear life. In general, though she had nothing to compare to, her little boy wasn’t a particularly difficult baby but the past few days had been a bit rough on the little family: rough to the point where Amy had to push Jake out the door earlier that evening because he didn’t want to leave her behind with a fussy baby. But, more than ever before, Amy was confident, telling him it would be a waste for him to stay home and miss out on some fun; he should go out and she’d be fine. He’d ended up going. Although it was borderline against his will with half-worried eyes that Jake had crossed the threshold to exit their apartment, while repeating over and over again that she could and should call him if things turned out to be too much: he’d grab the first cab he saw back home.

Amy loved this considerate and worried side of Jake but it also turned out to be quiet unnecessary that night. Besides the hour from hell of fussiness at midnight, the evening alone with her son had gone by pretty smoothly – she’d actually made quite an enjoyable experience out of it. First of all, right after he’d had left, Amy ate the dinner Jake had prepared for her in advance on the couch with Flynn lying next to her in his little nest, talking and admiring his small sounds and smiles. God, she loved him so much and there was no TV-show or movie in the world that could beat the incredible sight of her son clumsily waving around his tiny legs and arms in his green pajama-onesie. Then, after bathing and changing him, she’d fed him to make sure he was completely ready for bed and by 8 PM she was silently smiling down at, admiring, her very own tiny sleeping human as he dozed off in his crib. Losing track of time was incredibly easy these days, both from the lack of sleep but also the huge amount of love for said little human, but after making sure (for the 32nd time) that Flynn was well asleep Amy had, trusty baby monitor in hand, retreated to the living room. There, with a tiny glass of white wine in hand, she’d managed to finish today’s The Times’ crossword puzzle - something Flynn had interrupted a couple of times that day – before she’d felt an inevitable wave of tiredness creep up on her. Once ready, having gone through her own routine plus checking up on the, to her pride and joy, still sleeping baby, Amy went to bed where she’d slept peacefully until her son had claimed her attention a few hours later. So even though Jake was her favorite person to hang out with, her evening had been great and, all in all, she wouldn’t mind doing it again  

Now here she was once again awake although this time it was not her baby causing the distraction from sleeping but rather her apparently very drunk husband stumbling around the bathroom. The fact that he hadn’t been loud enough to wake up their son had probably (for sure) helped, but also, Amy couldn’t be mad at Jake when she’d been the one to basically force him to go out and have fun. So, after giving up on falling back asleep figuring it’d be hopeless with Jake stumbling around the apartment, she instead took matters into her own hands and made her way to the bathroom. Here, to her amusement, the sight of her rather nicely dressed husband, unruly curls spilling onto his forehead, was barely able to stay awake and standing upright while brushing his teeth.

“Hey there,” she leaned her hip against the door frame before crossing her arms in front of her chest adding to it a teasing smile.

“Oh god!” from the way he almost choked on his tooth brush, Jake was obviously startled by her sudden appearance but quickly avoided choking with a sad attempt at smooth recovery by clumsily spitting the toothpaste into the sink getting it all over his lips in the process.  “I’m szo szo szorry,” the words tumbled from his mouth much like she imagined he’d tripped and fallen over various furniture and items on his way into the apartment just a few moments ago. “Dridn’t mean tro wake you.”

“Well…” she shrugged nonchalantly not really minding mostly because drunk Jake was a hilarious mess she’d missed during their pregnancy, but also partly because she knew he’d be paying the painful price in the morning. “You did.”

Immediately, as if he was a puppy whose tail had just accidentally been stepped on, Jake’s previously insouciant demeanor switched into a intoxicated version of his famous worried frown. Though the second she could tell panic was forming in his drunkenly fatigued eyes, she was quick to step in and avoid guilting him.

“But it’s okay,” her tired but nonetheless somehow always warm eyes worked their best to comfort him, hip nudging her off the doorframe and into a short journey to where her husband had shifted into a leaning position with his back against the sink, toothbrush desperately hanging from the left side of his mouth. His eyes, though dazed and barely able to stay open, followed her every move towards him closely but he was still startled when she’d come close enough for him to feel her breath on him and had sassily snagged the dangling toothbrush out of his mouth (careful to not hurt him in the process, of course).  

“As long as you don’t wake up your son,” she raised an eyebrow daringly only to be met by a shocked expression that told her he still wasn’t entirely over that bold toothbrush-move of hers, and was just barely managing to listen to what she was saying solely because of the mention of Flynn. He knew that the baby was an angel (duh, he was his and Amy’s creation) yet Jake was also very much in touch with reality which was that said son also hadn’t managed to sleep through the night yet (which according to his go-to parenting book Cry Hard was normal). Therefor even drunk Jake also knew that every second his son was asleep was to be handled as carefully as you would a bomb, and the mention of him possibly waking him up was enough to sober him up – or at the very least have him feel like it for a second.

“Luckily,” Amy proceeded, placing her hands on his chest before sliding them up to rest on his shoulders, “you didn’t.”

Paired with a heavy sigh, as if he’d been holding his breath in suspense, she instantly felt his shoulders drop in relief. Needless to say that Amy loved the way her husband cared greatly about his new father-role. Sometimes to the point where Jake, very unnecessarily, would push himself down an endless rabbit hole of doubt, where he, Amy had come to find out relatively early on, could only be calmed down by her ordering him to go lie down and so she could place tiny Flynn on his (incredible) father’s chest. Only then, with his son looking up at him with curious brown eyes or even just being fast asleep, Jake could feel his heart rate slow down significantly and the anxiety fade. His son was here on his chest, tiny heartbeat against his big one and they were both okay. It was love and that was all that mattered.

So yes, Jake’s father-role was very important to both him and her, but for tonight, Amy quickly decided, Jake was allowed to be just drunk-Jake. She had no problem taking full responsibility for Flynn-duty that night, and, even though neither of them kept scores or cared about the unspoken tally, she also knew Jake would make it up to her another night.

“So Flynni iz ztill azleep?” Jake whispered loudly not actually managing to control his voice as intended. His sluggish, wondering eyes reminded Amy of the look on her milk-drunk 3-month old’s face right after a feeding which made it even more obvious that Flynn Peralta was very much her father’s son and would grow up to be an exact copy.  

“Yes, Flynni,” she giggled emphasizing the nickname her husband had come up with, “is still very much asleep. But he won’t be for much longer if you don’t quiet down,” her hands slid up Jake’s neck to cradle his jaw, his tooth brush still in her hand.

“Zorry,” he smiled sheepishly actually managing to whisper this time. “You’re ze bestest mom in ze attire world, Amy Zantriago.”

“Hm,” she squinted her eyes jokingly, “maybe I should just put back that tooth brush because now you’re just talking crazy.”

“Nooo,” the whine that escaped her husband was childish as he simultaneously pulled her in for a clumsy, giggly kiss that’d cover her mouth in his toothpaste remains – unsurprisingly, drunk-Jake was not a very precise tooth brusher and had a toddler’s amount of basic skills. “Ze only crayzay here is me. Crayazay ‘bout my WIFE!” unable to control himself he half-yelled out the last word causing Amy to make a quick decision and shove the toothbrush back into his mouth. This, besides yet another surprised and confused expression greeting her, seemed to work and would hopefully keep him quiet till he made it to bed where he could pass out.

“Hush, Peralta,” and he immediately did. He knew his always very convincing wife only had good intentions (which making sure their son stayed asleep ultimately was) and whilst she picked up where he’d left of to finish brushing his teeth for him he, like the inner toddler the alcohol ignited in him, stayed put against the sink.

A few minutes later, still managing to stay somewhat silent (apart from constantly trying to whisper sweet nothings and stupidities into her ear meanwhile she struggled to brush his teeth and wash his face) Amy lead Jake to their bedroom which, for once, was for unsexy reasonz (with a z, yes). Immediately as soon as it was within what his drunk brain considered a safe distance, Jake’s body caved and dropped to the soft welcoming surface of their bed. Amy quickly figured that it was probably for the best and she should take advantage of Jake finally staying still, meaning she carefully started undressing him, and it had seemed that he was passed out right up until she popped the third button of his flannel and his eyes shot open along with a sneaky smirk.

“Amez, Iz tonight zhe night that we become PILFs?”

Amy frowned as she reached the last button and then pushed the flannel off of his torso. “PILFs?” She wordlessly prompted him to sit up as to allow her to remove the flannel entirely only to be followed by his undershirt being lifted off via his head – something she’d done a million times before but most cases being for other reasons.

“Parentz I’d Like To Frick,” he smiled in appreciation at his own genius invention before stealing a kiss when Amy happened to be close enough to reach by simply leaning in a bit. It did earn him a small giggle like he wished but then also a light shove back.

“Stop that and help me instead, would you?” She was far from mad at him which he could tell from the way she couldn’t keep an entirely straight face but on the other side of things Amy clearly wasn’t having the easiest time undressing her full grown husband either. Suddenly the task that was changing Flynn 7 times a day was put into a quite interesting perspective: a perspective she didn’t necessarily need.

And so, feeling that his wife was doing all the hard work, he helped. It might’ve taken him 5 minutes to pop open and zip down his jeans, but he succeeded and it was with way too much pride that he kicked his jeans off in a madman-ninja manner which resulted in them flying across the room to touchdown by the door. Normally Amy would demand he put them in the laundry bin but for once she couldn’t care less. The pants being off itself was a great victory.

“Nicely done, babe,” she joked trying to ignore the fact that 3 simple tasks had taken them almost 40 minutes by now, prompting her to playfully throw his night shirt in way so it landed on his head. “Now put that on and you’re good to pass out for the night.”

She walked back over to her side of the bed, throwing in a glance at Flynn in his crib to make sure he was still well and asleep, before crawling back under the covers and pushing the part on Jake’s side aside to invite him in.

It was a matter of seconds before he dropped into place but instead of passing out immediately as Amy had expected him to, her husband shuffled across the bed’s invisible center line wordlessly asking for snuggles that Amy, of course, couldn’t decline. She loved that Jake went out and had some fun by himself, although, at the end of the day, nothing would ever beat having him home with her – even if it meant dealing with an all at once incapable and horny man child.

So, by all means, she lifted her arm to welcome him to make himself at home under it, felt his head moving to on top of her chest, before she put it back down in a soft grip around his shoulders. His free arm would then soon enough wrap around her middle earning him a soft peck to the forehead.

“I love you, Amz,” he mumbled tiredly into her shirt.

“I love you too, Jake,” she smiled leaning her cheek against where she’d just planted the kiss.

“And I love our baby. Zo much. I mizzed him all ze night,” he mumbled on the verge of falling asleep.

And while she always did expect it these days, right then and there when she very honestly in the moment least did expect it, a loud cry as if scripted, tore through the darkness of their bedroom. A small sigh escaped her body although she was couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the situation.

“… Sounds like he missed you too, babe.”

“Oh no,” Jake whined basically imitating Flynn to a point where it was scary as Amy scooted out from his snuggle and the newfound warmth of their bed. “I woke him up. I’m zo zo sorry.”

In the meantime Amy had made her way to the crib.

“You didn’t wake him up, honey,” she made sure to reassure Jake of the fact before picking up the tiny crying figure before promptly looking at the time on her night stand, where her suspicion was immediately proved to be right. “It’s 4 AM: he’s just hungry.”

Not many things in this world were sure or certain, but if there was one thing that was then it was definitely Amy’s knowledge when it came to her son’s schedule. Yes, Jake got up with Flynn just as frequently as she did, but contrary to her, Jake didn’t take note of the time and just did what his son demanded without interest in cracking the code to their baby’s life-pattern: as long as he got to care for him and make him happy again, the logistics were somewhat irrelevant to Jake.

“You sure?” he complained nervously questioning his wife as she sat back down in bed with Flynn cradled to her chest.

“Yes, completely.”

With her always being right and all, Jake settled for accepting his wife’s statement quieting down to take in the sight of their son fumbling to find where his mother had lifted up her shirt in order to feed him. Seconds later, like the peace that followed after a huge sky-cracking thunderstorm, silence settled upon the family of three letting the two adult of said family know that Flynn had once again worked out how to still his hunger. Apart from the very faint sounds of suckling, the occasional little pop followed by a wail when he’d lose his mouthful and complain until Amy managed to help him back on track, idyllic silence of the night wrapped up the apartment as if Jake had never interrupted it just an hour prior.

It was in moments like these where Jake became untouchable, completely disregarding any physical or mental state he might be in, and simply gave in to soaking in the faultless felicity parenthood provided him with. He’d never been anything but happy with Amy but this life he’d been living for 3 months now was even better and beyond any imaginable expectations he’d had. Flynn, though being the one who was completely dependent on his father’s care, had given Jake life a renewed meaning he hadn’t known or felt close to before. A meaning he’d originally been so afraid of even considering before he met Amy but had come to realize he wanted with her and only her.

He wanted 4 AM cries. He wanted the sight of Amy, depending on what her energy level was, either dozing off to or actively admiring their son latching onto her swelled chest as he suckled on it. He wanted the rush of pride every time Flynn made a new sound even if it was simply bringing into existence a new pitch when he squealed or whimpered. Jake wanted all and everything, big and small, as long as it was with them.

So of course, as soon as Flynn was placed stomach down on Amy’s chest after being done eating and burped, earning himself a sweet praise when he succeeded, Jake was back to snuggling into his wife’s side. There was no minding sharing her chest with the tiny human as it provided Jake with the perfect combination of cuddling with his wife and the incredible sight of their stupefying son slipping back into a peaceful state of sleepy satisfaction.

“He’s sro prerfect, Amy.”

“I know, babe,” with a hand safely cradling and stroking the back of Flynn’s decently hairy head she mumbled her reply obviously in the early stages of dozing off herself. The other hand, this arm having returned to its spot around Jake, was resting against her husband’s back stroking it in a synchronized motion.  

“Like, he’z like getting ze one exact toy you wanted ze mostest in your Happy Meal as a child.”  

She would laugh out loud at his comparison, finding it incredibly endearing, but she was by then too exhausted and only managed to form a tired smile – also the laughing would cause her chest and then automatically Flynn to quiver which she was not about to dare.

“He really is,” she mumbled.

“I think we shrould have anozer.”

It was easy to tell that the comment was partly genuine and sweet but also partly… intoxicated. Though Amy didn’t doubt the fact that Jake wouldn’t mind more children, she also didn’t doubt the fact that he definitely wouldn’t remember this conversation when he woke up some hours later with a hammering headache and zombie-like state of mind.

“I think I have enough on my hands with you two.”

Yes, she did see them having at least two kids but one newborn was definitely more than enough at the moment, plus  they had plenty of time to consider further additions to the family once Flynn would be older and Jake not completely wasted. Although it was nice to hear some truth about his inner thoughts spill from her drunk husband, there was no doubt in her mind that there was no need to hurry. They would get there eventually and for now they were already so very happy.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the feeling of Jake’s lips planting a soft, half-sloppy kiss to, first, their son’s head, then, then her neck. Then small movements beneath her hand on Flynn was next, quickly peaking her curiosity and winning over her exhaustion then forcing herself to open her eyes. Immediately feeling glad she did so because she was met by the most heartwarming sight of Jake carefully caressing Flynn’s tiny feet.

“We’re gunna make zo many perfect bebiez, Amy Trivago. Zo many. Like zis one.”

“I’m sure of it, babe,” she gave into one last tired chuckle hoping agreeing would give him the peace he needed to fall asleep. And besides the fact his fingers continuously toyed with the tiny feet, Jake seemed fast asleep a few moments later leaving Amy to soak in the moment, fighting to stay awake just a few more minutes to enjoy how incredibly lucky she was.

There was indeed nothing better than feeling her two favorite boys’ heartbeats against her skin as she herself dove into a deep sleep.

[homesteadchronicles]

10 Questions Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me, @songsofaleria! You had such interesting answers, and I wanted to ensure that I could give the same enthusiasm with my responses. Buckle up, y’all! You might learn a thing or two about moi.

1. What are you characters favorite foods/snacks?

What’s sad is that I have a hard time answering this solely because I am not a snack person. Blasphemy, I know - I just prefer whole meals! If we’re talking modern-day snacks? Oeden’s chowing down on salt and vinegar chips, Royan would be a Twinkies guy (no jokes, please, spare my boy), Medea’s a cinnamon girl - the kind that scarfs down Hot Tamales like they’re nothing, Carmila would snack on individual pretzel sticks while she works (and is the kind to suck the salt clean off of them because she keeps getting lost in thought while they’re in her mouth), Farukh would be a jerky guy, and Kasumi’s the kind to carry around little veggie packets and dip.

If we’re talking in-universe snacks? Come on. Fantasy worlds don’t have fun snacks! Although I did write one excerpt with Oeden and his mom, Nadielle, chowing down on spiced pufferfish spines which I’m relatively sure are not a real thing...and likely should not be.

2. What playlists do you listen to when writing?

I made a playlist of worship songs for my friends who are newer to my church and I’ve been jamming to that while I write because it’s the only lyric-inclusive music I can listen to that won’t interfere with my writing. Plus, because writing can drain my body and darken my thoughts, I need something positive and godly to revitalize me and keep me centered.

3. Which OC is/was your favorite to create?

There’s one character I’ve talked about in passing, but I haven’t dedicated an entire section to him yet. I don’t know if he’s my favorite, but he has a special place in my heart: Algon. He pays homage to one of my personal heroes and mentors, so there’s always a giddy little part of my heart when I get to write him. Plus, the development he goes through is...well, heartbreaking, but also beautiful over time.

4. What is the first book you read that made you cry?

Oh gosh, I can’t remember! I was a big crybaby when I was little, so I probably wept at the slightest thing gone wrong. Aslan dying in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe always got me.

5. Do you hide any secrets in your books as a way of foreshadowing?

If you read something in my stories, assume it will eventually foreshadow something. I treat my books as a game of I-Spy, wondering when readers will find the most hidden clues I snuck in there.

6. What is the most difficult part of your writing process?

This might sound strange, but knowing when it’s “right”. I’m a perfectionist, an INFJ, and a Type One Enneagram - otherwise known as someone who is paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong. I don’t just write for fun, I write to do what I believe I’m meant to do in my life. And if something I produced was lesser than what was meant? If I wasted my time or led someone down the wrong path because I did it wrong? Game over for me. I spend SO much time deciding whether I’ve had this character do the right thing, built the world correctly, etc. that it’s...crippling, to be honest.

7. Which of your characters would you liked like to meet/get to know irl?

You know, I had a lot of different answers to this...but I’m gonna go with Kasumi. I have a habit of befriending people who need my guidance or leadership and/or people who make me laugh and are fun but aren’t deep enough to hang with me intimately. Kasumi, while deeply flawed, is someone who would want to help me as much as I help her. She’d listen, she’d advise, she’d protect, she’d spend time making art with me, we could go adventuring when necessary and stay inside when we’re down. I feel like we could be besties in a heartbeat!

8. Was there a situation in your writing that you took from your own life?

There are snippets and themes that I use, as everyone does, as inspiration. But generally, I try to limit that because I don’t want it seeming self-insert-y. However, there are a few specific instances and issues I feel personally convicted to write upon based on my experiences with and overcoming of them. But none of the situations in my stories are one-on-one parallels.

9. Do your characters have reoccurring symbolism in their dreams?

HOO BOY! You opened a whole can of worms for one character in particular: Oeden. I’ve changed what his dreams entail eighteen thousand times, but he always envisions a vault (which is a main theme in my story, and certainly no secret) long before he ever finds it. Lots of other things, too: torn wedding veils, man made into gods, blood poured on white moons, angels in plain sight, and an unknown voice calling out to him. You know, totally normal dream stuff!

10. Which Hogwarts houses would you sort your characters into?

I’ve def done this before, but I don’t remember everyone’s. I think it was: Royan is Gryffinpuff, Oeden is Slytherclaw, Medea is Slytherin, Farukh is Slytherdor, Briggid is Ravenclaw, Kasumi is Hufflepuff, Carmila is...crap, I can’t remember! 

Questions for Those Tagged to Answer: 1. When you find a book at the store, what about it makes you decide to buy it or put it back on the shelf?  2. What would your book’s ideal cover look like, should you have access to any artist you’d want and any resources you would need to make it a reality? 3. If you could rewrite one story - be it a book, game, movie, show, etc. - which would it be and why? 4. Have you ever given a story a second chance and liked it better the next time through? What caused your opinion to change? 5. What do you believe endears an audience to a character? 6. What kind of romances do you prefer to read about and/or watch unfold? (Soft and shy, hot and sexy, slow burn, enemies to lovers, etc.) 7. What type of AU’s are your guilty pleasures, be they for your stories or for others? (Modern, High School/University, Coffee Shop, Vampires, etc.) 8. If only one age demographic would ever read your books, which would you choose and why? 9. If you could pay homage to one person in your life through your stories and/or characters, who would it be and why? 10. If every reader walked away from your story having been changed in one significant way, what would you want it to be and why?

Tagging: @rhavencroft, @incandescent-creativity, @fair-folk-nonsense, @stardustspiral, @ardawyn, @lady-redshield-writes, @feathered-quill, @hannahs-creations, @cogesque, @merigreenleaf

[simptasia]

hc questions 5, 6, 7, 26, 44 & 47 for any or all of the science team members if you want? :)

oh bless!! thank you!! i’ll go with My Beloved Three, as usual, the sci trio

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

my hcs on this have wobbled over time but overall i imagine dan, char and miles are all like, fairly, neat. tho they all have a tendency to leave papers around

and miles doesn’t make the bed as much. cuz imagining miles napping in rumpled quilts is a very cute mental image. hair disheveled

i think a good term for whats going on with dan and char is Organized Chaos. they’re both scientists (and a musician) for heck’s sake. it doesn’t look like they know what they’re doing but they do. but ur not gonna walk into their house(s) and be like “ugh gross what the fuck”. it’s nice. dan tends to make the bed

and i imagine dan keeps The Rat Room (yes, you heard me) immaculate because you reeeeeeally want that area to be well cared for

as for personal, lets get this out of the way, none of them are yucky. but dan is showering the least, just due to absent mindedness and hyperfixation. like ya really get into a project and then suddenly oh fuck i need a shower. but thats relative. he’s not a stinky gross boy. i imagine miles washes the most because like, he has body piercings and those GOTTA be cleaned every day, especially the downstairs one. miles values his dick, he don’t want an infection

also its amazing how much more you shower/bathe when you have a partner. or in this case, two partners. in general and for sexy purposes. hell yeah

well thats enough of me picturing these three showering, moving on

Eating habits and sample daily menu

its odd how often i’ve pictured these people eating together

dan: eats the least (and for once that isn’t a skinny joke, he could eat cake every day and he’d still be like that) because for the most part he doesn’t have much of an appetite. he eats what he needs, with random bursts of being really hungry (it’s a neurodivergent thing). i imagine he has a extra fondness for pasta and can put a surprising amount of it away when he wants to. tho typically for ease, he’ll stick to noodles. he takes his coffee mild and decaf. i hc him as a vegetarian due to not being able to process meat. his body also cannot handle alcohol and the one time he tried it he needed to be hospitalized. his ice cream preference is vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. or honeycomb. favourite vegetable is capsicum (which he’d call a bell pepper because he’s american), favourite fruit is pineapple. on that note he likes pineapple pizza. overall he eats simple but isn’t against trying new things. he has a very neutral disposition towards food

char: of the trio, i define charlotte as the Loud Passionate One so obviously being a big eater goes with that, likes a big breakfast (eggs, sausages, sometimes french toast!), sometimes skips lunch when she’s working at the museum due to focus, has a ravenous sweet tooth (i haven’t been subtle that i’ve made her ADORE chocolate but in general i see her liking sweet things), she can handle eating less tho because she’s gone on plenty of expeditions and such. so i think she eats a lot under normal circumstances because, like, she can. i don’t think i need to tell you what her ice cream or starbucks preferences are, do i? takes her coffee with three sugars, two coffees and creamy. likes mochas and hot chocolates too. with marshmallows. naturally, her fave kind of chocolate is galaxy because she is an English Woman. another fave of hers is cadbury’s creme eggs. but lest you think Good Lord Sapphire This Woman’s Entire Body Is A Sugar Molecule, don’t worry she does eat well. like veggies, fruits, meats, she’s fine. of meats, she has a fondness for fish (i have no further information, im terrible with fish. but she’s a pom, so...). favourite fruit is pear, favourite vegetable is peas. likes a bacardi, or rum and coke

miles: he eats a “normal” amount but he’s a grazer. which means, not so much Set Meal eating than eating/snacking thru out the day. he takes his coffee black, no surprise, but with sugar! see, its a metaphor. for him. likes fried eggs and hash browns. his fave food is very cheap mac and cheese. i think in general he really likes cheese. he doesn’t have complicated tastes, like, he grew up poor. he likes seafood (in particular fish tacos) but not lobster as he discovered when he got cashed up. he likes salty food but likes sweets too, in particular i can imagine him snacking on m&ms, skittles, gummi bears. little things. doesn’t have a fave vegetable because he doesn’t care enough, to him veggies are things to eat so you won’t die. doesn’t hate him but isn’t excited to eat ‘em. fave ice cream is mint choc. he’ll drink whatever (except for vodka) but is used to beer. thinks pineapple on pizza is an abomination, espech since he really likes pizza otherwise. i consider him a food opportunist, like, oh theres food here? yoink. or like, oh hey, if everybody else is eating, i’ll have whatever’s going on

....i feel like whenever i write hcs about these guys my brain takes on their tone. like, that was a lot of short, eh whatever, sentences for miles there

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

dan:

- reading (really depends on how you define Wasting Time). also he composes music and when he was alive, that was considered wasting time (ugh)

- sometimes even just doing hobbies or work or whatever, even then, he tends to have this feeling of never doing enough due to his Perfectly Healthy And Supportive Upbringing [seethes] so uhhhh basically, anxiety? like this was a dude raised to think anything other than his work was a waste of time. it didn’t exactly work but a decent amount of that Pressure has to still sit with him

char:

- watching tv, espech star trek

- not a waste of time if you’re enjoying yourself

miles:

- card and board games (weren’t expecting that, were ya? i’m not saying that's his Fave Thing To Do, but he considers that a good chill out thing to do. something to do when ur bored but you don’t feel like watching tv or having sex)

- “it’s something to do”

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

dan:

for original lifetime dan, it was Do Science, Make Mom Proud (tiny voice: and maybe spend the rest of my life with charlotte. if i’m lucky. maybe. please? love?) cuz i imagine dan, although very focussed on the future, actually doesn’t think/care about HIS future. i just don’t think he cares about himself enough

limbo dan is like Make Music, Love Charlotte. which is fair. and then Love Miles on top of that. so yeah, just wants to be a good musician and husband. and one day, father. with char actually in his life in this world, thats def on his mind. he won’t bring it up tho, he’ll wait for her to mention it :3

(dan’s canon contingency plan for things not working out is hydrogen bomb)

char:

alive char, like, ADVENTURE! ISLAND! SOLVE MYSTERIES! that makes it sound like she’s a fucking scooby doo character. i mean, her Goal was to find the island and find out what the fucky duck is going on. she did that. and overall his goals seem like adventure/career orientated. i hc that this version of char never intended on getting married or having kids. she wasn’t Against the ideas and she’s certainly had romances but she was more thinking of other things. (that and i think deep down char thought nobody would ever wanna marry her)

in limboverse There Is No Mystery but she still has her great job(s), that is she works at a museum and i think she goes on expeditions sometimes. so theres that, she’s got the great career. really, her Plan for the future in this world is live the live she couldn’t before. she (and dan!) died young so they’re gonna like, actively adore each other and get married and have kids. and also miles is there. ha, that sounded so rude. she loves miles too. (besties/fuck buddies turned Hey You Wanna Join Me And Dan’s Relationship and miles like... yeah sure)

miles:

step one: get money to fill gaping hole of sadness in chest

step two: ????

step three: die

and even my limbo miles whomst i’ve put with dan and char doesn’t have any plans for the future, besides like, do his job and maybe become a dad again (context: i hc that miles had two kids with richard when he was alive). so he’s still chilling but without the depressing ache of loneliness and bitterness

so basically long story short for all of them (in limboverse): Love & Family

Superstitions or views on the occult?

ohooo i like this one

dan: didn’t grow up believing in magic and such (which is super ironic because his mother is a fucking other) but he has a very open mind. i think he’ll believe it if he’s thrust into the situation. it’s interesting really, dan is known as the science guy and that's great but he’s super fucking accepting of not science shit. tho of course, he’s not seeing the island time travel as magic but science. but more importantly, he regards miles’ powers with zero doubt or questioning. he doesn’t even seem confused, he is absolutely on board with miles being able to talk to dead people. this all implies miles told him off screen and dan believes him

so basically he’ll accept whatever is presented to him as true

which honestly, is what a good scientist is like. the trope of the scientist character who is ultra non believing of the supernatural, even when they’re seeing it before their eyes, is annoying. like, you know the ones? the ones who get angry about it. the overly skeptical scientist. hate that. dan is not that

and his character arc includes embracing free will over destiny so there's that

char: she’s not superstitious and doesn’t believe in magic or the supernatural at all. tho thrown into bizarre situations she’s like ???? but has to accept it. and she KNOWS something is up with the island. she knows its different. i just mean, under normal circumstances she’d regard magic stuff as funny nonsense. i hc that char, in living life, doesn’t believe miles can speak to the dead. really fucking weird this isn’t addressed in the show but hahaaaa they wasted char! anyways and like, if presented with the concept that dan’s brain damage is being healed by the island, she’d look confused, say thats impossible but she’d think on it

what i’m saying is she’ll rule out magic concepts at first, on reflex. but would grow to accept them, especially with stuff she knows/has repressed

she doesn’t believe in ghosts, psychics, visions, magic healing and all those exist in her world, so it’s all a matter of experience

miles: WELL WHADDYA THINK

actually it’s funny. miles has magic powers but he’s 0% superstitious and i imagine outside of his own powers, he really doesn’t believe in the occult. i hc that until he personally proved otherwise, he grew up thinking he was mentally ill. and once he realised it was true, thought he was some kind of freak

and he’s incredulous when he finds out hurley has powers too. tho miles, being miles, does roll with the punches a lot in the show, he’s skeptical when it comes to hurley's power. and i find that interesting. also i fucking love how when hurley describes his power, miles says “thats not how it works”, like ???? babe???

but overall his attitude on the island is like “well. this is happening”

i do think thru his life, despite his power, he doesn’t believe in All Magic or occult or whatever. i also hc that he attracted those kind of people who are REALLY into astrology and auras and stuff like that and he found them exasperating. (i think he’d be a lot more okay with it if it was claire who was talking about astrology and palm reading with him. he’d be endeared when its her)

and i think he thinks other psychics he’s met or seen on tv are straight up bullshit. he can believe he has it but he’s skeptical of other people. just assumes they’re scammers. hell, he was a scammer. who just happened to have the power. he was like “well i have this, i may as well get some use outta it”

oh and in limboverse, they all kinda have to accept their situation. and they take it with ease due to appreciating getting happier lives

How do they express love?

a dan who loves you will pet your face and look at you like ur his entire reason to live. a char who loves you will squeak at your jokes and will never once let you feel bad about yourself. a miles who loves you is sorry he isn’t better at this stuff but he really is trying... sure we can cuddle if you wanna, that’s cool v///v

the dan and char we saw in the show was them holding back and i find that very amusing because they were HEART EYES AS FUCK for each other and so affectionate and so soft hearted, like oh my gosh. canon show dan/char is them when they’re pining... when they’re not even a couple (yet, damn it)

imagine them at full power

i figured it out, dan/char couldn’t be an Official Couple because then jeremy davies and rebecca mader would have destroyed us all, especially me

anyways. they’re both very protective of each other. they... they touch each other a lot. like a lot for people who aren’t dating and whomst don’t think the other one loves them. like char is surprised when dan says he loves her. that fucking astonishes me. HE’S NOT SUBTLE. char are you okay???

dan is more open about the love than char, seeing as he said it. and double downed on it. char i feel was holding back for different reasons than dan. dan was holding back (fucking barely) because of eloise’s Love Will Only Bring Pain upbringing, which’d give somebody a serious complex. so he was adverse to actually pursuing a relationship AND i figure he thought “she wouldn’t wanna be with me anyways”. but char i imagine, a deep seated insecurity and need to be defensive, but also! dan was like REALLY mentally unwell before the island. and that's the dan that char knows (and loves) but she’d feel guilty if she pursued anything with him. like she’s taking advantage of a brain damaged person

ah fuck i went on a big thing about why they didn’t become a couple instead of like.... the question. how do they express love? like they did in the show. smiles, touches, longing gazes, protectiveness. they would die for each other

as for miles, how does he express love? Not Well. at first

whoever is the first person he fell in love with (i imagine richard), he was not good at... being open about that. i don’t think miles is good with love. lived his life pretty detached/bitter about the concept, which i imagine is due to having cynicism about life and death. everybody you love is gonna die, so why bother? (his mom dying hit him pretty hard) so uhhh its gonna be... baby steps

slowly becoming more open about liking somebody, becoming more affectionate, more... uh, couple-y (and later throuple-y). it’d take time and he will always be miles, but hey, he gets there. he’ll still always have his snark but he won’t be a Genuine Asshole to people he loves. heck, i imagine he’ll be downright soft in the right situation. and he can be gentle and kind. he’s a salty boy not a cunt

but i digress. basically he’s a little “yeah, yeah, i love you too, shut up” about it but he does have that soft gooey center. basically those who know him, and love him, know his true heart. it’s just a part of being miles “defensive walls” straume

feels love (and even that takes him a while to realise, cuz he hasn’t been a romantic relationship kinda guy, most of his life his relationships have been a Just Sex thing), not Great at like... Doing Love, you know what i mean? but like once he’s used to it, he can be quite a tender little pudding cup, actually

[mythvoiced]

Hana and Taemin for the ship meme??

— ultimate ship meme! | @busanbunnie

—

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs (they defined it)

How long will they last? - I think this is a very loving case of ‘til death do us part’, and their love even transcends AUs of all kinds and genres, honESTLY, MAYBE FOREVER

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I’ll be bold enough to say I think it was like meeting The One? I wouldn’t say Love At First Sight, but something about them meeting struck me like two souls destined to find one another, actually finding one another. So, I think it happened relatively fast, but not too fast

How was their first kiss? - Considering Taemin didn’t use to kiss at all back then, on his side there was a lot of hesitation from there, and I can imagine Hana might have been shy about it, so it was a lot of careful testing the water, and then so chaste that all my teeth fell out and regrew immediately due to its sweetness and emotional power

Wedding:

Who proposed? - I don’t remember what I might have said for this section in other occasions, but I do believe Taemin would have been the one? I can’t promise he managed to keep it a secret from Hana because he probably involved Minhwan to figure out how to best go about it and also because he was panicking lmao, but in the end, they did, and it probably wasn’t very fancy, just a romantic moment in the bliss of domestic intimacy

Who is the best man/men? - Definitely Minhwan, like, yo

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Gale might be available for the spot, she might feel inappropriate, but I’d hope they convinced her to it anyway (because she’d feel loved and honoured)

Who did the most planning? - I think both, although Taemin probably let Hana go off and do a lot herself while he stood by and followed instructions to the letter, 1. because he trusts her decisions more than he trusts himself in general, 2. because I feel like Hana would love organising it? so he’d absolutely let her, 3. he’s a disaster and we been knew

Who stressed the most? - Maybe Taemin? I feel like (obviously always correct me, pls, like, I wanna knOW) Hana would stress over technicalities, the wedding itself, invitations, the places, just the organisatory aspect of it, and Taemin would over actually being a good man for Hana to say yes to

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No one! Everyone who needed to be there was there, and then some: Hana’s family, Hana’s teammates, Gale, maybe a few coworker of Minhwan and Taemin’s here and there

Sex:

Who is on top? - *cough* Well, depends on what position they’re fee- okay, just, Taemin

Who is the one to instigate things? - They seem to do both equally, and spontaneously, just a healthy loving couple with a healthy, adoring sex life

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I’m seriously confused by this question, like, every time? Am I supposed to provide, like, an average amount of minutes, I’m- somebody who has sex, please let me know lmao, nah, okay, I’d say, an average amount?

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - A b s o l u t e l y, because Hana and Taemin are nothing short of a healthy, loving, respecting relationship between two people who love and respect one another very, VERY FKING MUCH, and they’d both want to assure that both parties receive as much as they give

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two! A little baby girl and a little LITTLE BABY BOY

How many children will they adopt? - We’ve never actually considered or spoken about this, but I actually feel like Taemin would consider? When it comes to seeing the opportunity to free a child from a childhood perhaps as dark as his had been, why wouldn’t he take it? How would Hana feel

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - They’re both quite hard-working people, so I feel like all these sorts of stuff they try to balance it out as much as possible, they work together because they’re a team and as such, everyone gets their turn

Who is the stricter parent? - I’m not quite sure, actually, I feel like they’d both spoilt them in different ways? Mostly with attention I feel, and utmost support

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - I feel like Hana would do a better job at it, because Taemin is a tad too apprehensive in this context; where Hana would guide and teach, Taemin might just... worry too much

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Resident cook, TAEMIN

Who is the more loved parent? - Gotta be honest, might actually be Hana. It’s just a natural thing that, if the relationship is well, there’s just the slightest bit of a tighter bond between a mother and her children, she’s spent so much more time with them and besides, who the heck wouldn’t love Hana

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - I feel like it depends entirely on their schedule; they’d probably try to go together, because they’re supportive parents who want to show that they’re there, but again, it’d depend entirely on work and whatnot

Who cried the most at graduation? - I think, Hana? == AND I DON’T BLAME HER, tbh I was probably there too, crying (although, neither are anywhere near the age of graduating yet)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Well

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Taemin! It’s his *french voice* passiòn

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Not quite sure? Maybe Hana, because Taemin’s happy eating just about anything, and Hana’s got her Fave Snacks™ I’m assuming and besides, there’s a fat chance Taemin would have tried to spoil the heckers outta her

Who does the grocery shopping? - Whoever’s got the time, I suppose? OR EVEN BETTER, BOTH TOGETHER! Grocery Shopping Date™

How often do they bake desserts? - Not as often as they should >:(

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -  Headcanon that they’re both meat lovers? What does the jury say?

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - OH HANA’S amazing at surprises, so far we’ve had quite a few scenarios where Hana was just “boom, I cooked for you” and Taemin had no idea, but what would be even funnier, is if they tried to surprise the other simultaneously, constantly trying to shoo the other out of the kitchen to get it done, and then in the end they figure it out and just... cook it together and it’s sweet and domestic and I love them

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - They both seem more fond of the stay at home variant? Like, they def go out on dates too, but Hana has quite an exhausting job and as someone who works on the computer, just for the eyes alone, not only her job as a mecha pilot is tiring, so I can see her being tired late and wanting to be cosy and Taemin loves cooking for them and I think they both just love to stay and cuddle

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - H...m... maybe Hana

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Whoever gets up last, which is why we have to have a thread where they try to race each other to try and not be the one who has to make the bed and whatnot

Who is really against chores? - Taemin’s lowkey so lazy in this context, he does them, but, Christ, he’s gonna be so pouty about it, how does Hana put up with him

Who cleans up after the pets? - BOTH!

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Both?

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Depends entirely on who the guests are! It might be Taemin because they’re most likely either Hana’s teammates, family, or other friends so he’s worried about impressing them; or it might be Hana because the same people, but she actually wants to welcome them properly.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - HANA! I don’t know why, I’m just picturing her victory shout and her cheering and I love her

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Depends on whether they take ‘em together or not

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Whoever’s got the time! But I feel, for some reason, Hana is probably better with them: I remember we headcanoned them being quite big dogs, and Hana is used to handling things as difficult as a mecha and is physically more fit than Taemin (she’s so hot, fyi)

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - ALWAYS, EVERY HOLIDAY, EVERY OCCASION AND I HEADCANON HANA IS THE QUEEN OF DECORATIONS

What are their goals for the relationship? - Long days and pleasant nights, to continue being happy together, be there for one another, and just be the perfect couple that they are

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Depends entirely on what had happened the night before, but if Taemin takes to preparing breakfasts, especially for the kiddos, he’d leave Hana the luxury (also because she games so late into the night); plus considering the first almost year after either of the children’s births, she’d have to constantly get up during the night to feed them, BASICALLY SHE DESERVES TO SLEEP IN, and if they sleep in together, even better

Who plays the most pranks? - Please let this be Hana because I wanna see her pranking Taemin, PLS PLS PLS

[machimachilegends]

Disclaimer: Duelists within the anime severely lack in Spell-based Monster Removal, Spell/Trap Destruction, Effect Negation and Continuous Spell/Trap cards that prevent the opponent from performing certain actions since cards are notably more difficult to obtain and faith/morale play a bigger role than luck/deck-building with an abnormal Battle Phase fetish.

Therefore, this list ranking the strongest antagonists in Yu-Gi-Oh! Anime so far will sparsely discuss the flaws of each character's Deck. If you have any questions about my list or want my personal thoughts on anything Yu-Gi-Oh!, feel free to ask. I have nothing but time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Z-ONE

Has Level 10 Fairy-Type monsters he can normal summon regularly that are impervious to destruction by battle and card effects by normal means with minimal chances of being damaged.

The effects his Timelords possess range from shuffling your opponent's entire GY back to the Deck, dealing 2000+ effect damage instant Life Point recovery should he take damage. The only issue with Deck is the reliance on attacking and average use of one Timelord at a time. While his Continuous Traps over time will eventually disable the opponent from targeting his Timelords and allow him to exceed 20,000 ATK in a flash, his best play is his biggest weakness.

I could go all day explaining the other effects he has after a successful battle, but just know it's essentially a lot of shuffling cards back, returning cards back and burn. He only has one monster that can deal battle damage and that's about it.

And since he still needs to attack, akin to everybody else lower on the list, this is nothing each protagonist and most rivals can't get over, especially in their respective series, despite popular belief saying otherwise -- when Judai can equip Neos with Rainbow Veil or Light Laser to wall you, you know you messed up somewhere.

Zarc / Z-ARC

Fusion, Synchro, Xyz- and to a lesser extent Pendulum barely mean nothing to this guy and his stupendously powerful dragons. Having access to arguably the best Monster Type in the game both in anime and real life, with the added benefit of being Pendulum-based, many fans have very good reasons to hype him up as unbeatable prior to Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V's end.

His ultimate monster Z-ARC boasts and grants immunity to the monster effects of the aforementioned Extra Deck Monsters, in addition to the inability to leave the field by normal means similarly to Z-ONE with a whopping 4000 ATK minus the Battle damage immunity.

It may seem underwhelming at first, but this is only the tip of the iceberg. While Zarc cannot mend the course of a Duel through the Battle Phase, he does possess various ways of demoralizing his foes:

His opponents cannot add cards to their hand outside of the Draw Phase or else their effects will be negated and destroyed.

He can negate the effects of Fusion, Synchro and Xyz Monsters and drain them of their attack by performing the same summon on their Turn, with some of them capable of inflicting effect damage, and each dragon that resides in his Extra Deck has other effects ranging between dramatically exceeding their original ATK or mass removal.

His Supreme King Gates translate battle damage and effect damage into Life Points, while the servants in his Main Deck can protect Z-ARC from attacks and act as an unnecessary extra piece of armor amongst other cards.

And did I forget to mention through Astrograph Sorcerer Z-ARC's summon cannot be negated, which almost guarantees the defeat of his opponents with massage effect damage?

I know it all sounds amazing, but truth be told other than the initial summon of Z-ARC, his Deck is very very fragile in the grand scheme due to how susceptible his Deck is to common Monsters, Spells and Traps' targeting and non-targeting effects that have debut throughout the series.

Recall, since most of his cards only work so long as he controls Z-ARC, while someone like Z-ONE may get trolled by Harpie's Pet Phantasmal Dragon or The Regulation of Tribe once in a blue moon, just call-in Dark Necrofear or Destiny HERO Plasma and it all goes downhill from here.

Dartz

As the practical incarnate of the Orichalcos, Dartz features a Deck revolving around its use. Monsters, Spells, Traps: The whole damn Deck.

While most people would like to focus on the Great Leviathan's lack of built in resistances, despite being an INFINITE ATK point monster that essentially prevents you from losing to any form of damage, this slithery-fuck that required countless souls for its revival planned to be summoned with all three layers/forms of the Orichalcos to be in effect. How else did you expect to acquire 10,000+ Life Points to get the dark thing out? Soul Absorption?

To put sum things up, layer one cannot be destroyed (possibly can't be negated, activation-wise), grants all monsters you control 500 extra ATK, practically enables you to treat your Spell/Trap Zones as extra Main Monster Zones and any monsters summoned there cannot be attacked so long as you have a Monster Zone filled, and if-need-be you can move monsters from the Main Monster Zone to the back, although those last two effects go underused.

Layer two takes all the effects of layer one and stacks it with a 500 Life Points gain for every monster you control once per turn and the ability to Tribute a monster you control to destroy an opposing monster.

Still not convinced these layers do much, well how about layer three? Once again it all stacks with the bonus on straight up telling your opponent "No" when they try to affect any of your monsters with a Spell/Trap Effect instantly negating and destroying them on a whim.

Now, we know the glaring hole in all this is the fact Monster Effects can still put in work, but if it's destruction based, you'll be putting all your time into the monsters leading up to the Great Leviathan.

A little sucker (Kyutora) that absorbs that would be inflicted at any time to fuel a stronger golem-like figure (not Gigas but Shunoros) in the Deck should it ever die with a base ATK of whatever was absorbed and two arms that will always be 300+ in ATK or DEF against an opponent's monster (Aristeros & Dexia), a jerk flame gargoyle that will force one of your opponent's monster back in Attack Position and motherfucking Timeater.

Generally speaking, he comes off very mediocre until you realize all he really needs is Mirror Knight Calling to dominate. With those Mirror Knights in conjunction with the Orichalcos he instantly assembles an army of tokens that can battle any monster and come out victorious, since their strength will always match the opposition and survive destruction by removing a single mirror counter that is generated by Mirror Knight Calling at the end of every Turn.

Simply put, he's someone that only gets better with time, unless he has Geh (The Great Leviathan) out. Then he has a solid chance to lose instantly, then again, if he didn't win on the Turn he summoned it, he deserves to lose seeing how he is milling 10 cards per attack from his Infinite ATK monster.

In many ways Zarc is just a better Dartz. For a guy like this, one Gemini Summoned Magical Reflect Slime + protection is all you need.

Don Thousand

Similarly to Z-ONE he comes off very unfair, except he's an offensive behemoth with control over the Overlay Network, opposed to defensive paragon with relative one-shot capabilities like the others. His Deck can be summed up without much need to go into effects, especially with how little we actually see.

Bluntly put, he will start his Turn spitting out 1 through 4 Number Monsters with the same gimmick of doubling their ATK after each attack, easily allowing him to exceed 8000 points of potential battle damage with a built-in Rank-Up play that deals even more lethal damage, essentially making him the true FTK antagonist looming in the back.

Should both attempts fail, he will fall on Number C1000, but that monster really means nothing to any character that possesses no "C" monsters. Rather Number iC1000 is what you really wanted to see. A walking win condition that basically tells your opponent, if you don't attack me, a 100,000 ATK monster you instantly lose the Duel. The only problem here is it can't negate two attacks, and the effect only applies so long as it stands.

Unlike some of the powerhouses higher on the ladder, he at least has Counter Traps, so there's at least some merit why you rarely see YouTubers try to script any Duels with him. Linear af.

I would say the true problem with his Deck/power as a Duelist is the fact he uses a Field Spell to kickstart his FTK's which means any bro like Bastion Misawa could play Curse of the Forbidden Spell and he's a goner. Like, here me out, at least Dartz can still play the game without the Orichalcos.

Bohman

Now, at first I thought Bohman was going to end up stronger than Z-ONE with the blanket Monster Effect negation he had on his Hydradrives when Dueling Blue Maiden, but that turned out to become more nothing more than a dream.

Bohman lacks proper negation for LIGHT & DARK Attributes essentially made Bohman's Deck a very unfocused beatdown strategy like many of the Duelists of the week characters in Link Swarming form, basically trading Majesty's Fiend for Five-Headed Dragon + Wind-Up Rabbit on crack playing dice.

Ignoring his use of Master Storm Access, it's not so much his Hydradrives suck or OTK/FTK potential isn't there- because it is, it's more so everything he does against Playmaker outside of switching dragon heads or rolling some dice (which only sucks irl) can be done better by everyone on the list:

Over 5000 ATK just cause? Check.

Can dominate Battle Phase procedures more than normal? Check.

Inherently prevents adversaries from dealing with monsters via built-in effects? Check.

Can summon more than one powerful monster per turn/Duel if need be? Check.

Safe from most damaging effects? Check.

Counters most of his generation? Check.

Benefits from his opponents' plays somehow? Check.

He's a jack of all trades and master of none but making attributes change with a die. Why he doesn't run DNA Transplant but Half Shut will forever be a mystery in the same world Revolver acquires Imperial Order for the sole purpose of stopping Judgment Arrows.

It sure is a good thing most protagonists/rivals use LIGHT & DARK Attributes over EARTH, WIND, WATER & FIRE or this man would be at the mercy of so many characters. Poor Yusei though.

Nightshroud

Nightshroud's strategies are the utmost straightforward with how it plans to win. Activate Darkness, Set Darkness 1 through 3 + Zero & Infinity, use various Darkness monsters to peep at your Set cards and/or organize them however you like before activating everything between Zero & Infinity.

Darkness 1 destroys up to 3 card your opponent controls based on face-up Darkness traps.

Darkness 2 increase the ATK of one monster you control 1000 to 3000 based on face-up Darkness traps.

Darkness 3 deal 1000 to 3000 per activation based on face-up Darkness traps.

Each of these are Set and randomized in the zones via Darkness (Field Spell) after activation between Zero & Infinity, which means in 2 Turns if the correct Darkness monster is on the field, that's a clean ceiling of 6000 effect damage if Darkness Neosphere is present.

Through these various Darkness Traps controlling the cards present on the field at a time makes it easy to disrupt characters from summoning their strongest monsters via Contact Fusion, Synchro, Xyz and Link Summoning, making the monsters he pumps up through Darkness 2 like Darkness Destroyer game enders via Battle Damage, which would make many come to the conclusion he should rank higher on the list. The main problem with Darkness is he doesn't showcase any further Spells/Traps and anything like Denko Sekka can shut him down in an instant.

Nightshroud's combo is highly susceptible to card destruction, despite boasting some of the finest at his best and other than that poor RNG styled Field Spell.

To cut things short, anything that can't be destroyed by Traps or benefits from destruction will only have to worry about effect damage or higher ATK. And considering how badly Nightshroud needs to go first, he's not only the slowest boss character but has the worst matchup potential, especially against other bosses.

Please don't tell him about Legendary Six Samurai - Shi En or Naturia Rosewhip OR Mister Alister's hmm... I don't know... Oh yeah! ROYAL DECREE!!!

I would say he has it the worse, but it's understandable since he- outside of helping others mend the darkness in their hearts never created/announced anything notably new mid Duel. Very respectable for a skeleton man.

[common-mushroom]

Headcanons for bachelors/bachelorettes old hairstyles/colors, maybe when they were kids

HERE FOR THIS.

-A common headcanon for Seb is that he was a ginger as a kid, and I support that theory 110%. Although honestly, I could see him as more of a strawberry blonde growing up rather than straight-up red like Robin’s. I think he’d have started dying it literally the second he hit puberty–honestly emo kids are COMMITTED AF. He’s def been dying his hair black since he was, like, 13. 

-Maru’s lightish brown hair is natural. It’s been the same style since she came outta the womb tbh, and she’s never once changed it. The only thing she’s ever done is let it grow semi-long a few times over the years, only to cut it off to its usual length every time. Since she’s only half black, she didn’t inherit the coarse hair. She ended up with hair similar in texture to Robin’s (at least that’s how it looks to me from her portraits).

-Alex’s hair has stayed relatively stable over the years, but he didn’t know how to style it until a few years ago when he befriended Haley and she gave him some tips. Also he probably bleached and/or shaved it at some point in high school as part of a sports team thing because they always did shit like that as team bonding before big competitions and whatnot.

-Penny is a natural redhead, but she went blonde for a while because she was teased for being a ginger. Once she moved to Pelican Town with Pam, she stopped because she realized that nobody there would dare to make fun of her.

-Abigail has dyed her hair so many times over the years that nobody knows what her natural color really is. In reality, she grew up as a natural brunette, but as we all know, once she became an adult, the [SPOILER] wizard hair took over and she’s permanently purple now. She’s tried re-dying it black, red, pink, anything…but strangely, not a single color stays for longer than a day or two.

-Harvey’s hair was prob pretty normal for a while but he totes had his hair long (at least past his shoulders) when he was in college, at least as an undergrad. Once he went for his doctorate, he wanted to look professional so he’s kept it short since. After seeing Elliott, though, he secretly kicks himself for not letting it grow. It’s too late to get back into it now, though.

-Haley is a natural blonde but she bleaches it to make it blonder. She’s tried every product in the book but nothing makes her blonde enough except good old-fashioned bleach. She definitely participated in that hair trend of 2011-ish though, when everyone dyed a streak of their hair red, blue, or purple with hot kool-aid.

-Leah is a total hippie, as we all know, so there’s no way in hell she’s ever dyed her hair. Also she's been growing it since she was a girl and has only ever gotten it trimmed.

-Elliott...grew up with typical dude hair. He probably went to a private liberal arts college and, after being surrounded by unique people for so long, he decided he wanted to try something different. So he let it grow...and grow...and grow. The only way he knew he could pull it off is if he took really good care of it. He gets a lot of positive attention from people for it, and as an unapologetic attention whore (this isn’t an insult obviously, we all love him for being this way) he will never look back.

-Emily’s hair has been naturally blonde like Haley’s for most of her life, but she was tired of looking like everyone else and decided on a whim in her early 20′s to dye it a crazy color. She ended up loving the look and kept it ever since.

-Shane, before the depression hit him, loved hair gel a little too much (hello, faux hawk). After he came to live with Marnie, he stopped putting in effort because he didn't see any point if there was no one to impress. In my eyes...he’d gel his hair again when he started dating the farmer.

-Sam, in a similar vein, uses every hair product imaginable to give him the super saiyan look. He wore his hair that way once in high school on a dare and became popular for it so he kept wearing it, as an extended joke. After a while it just became habit and he considered it a crucial part of his identity. Also!! Before the spikes, he definitely flat ironed it every day to get that sweepy skater dude hair that was so common in the mid-2000s, lol. He’s probably experimented a few times with home hair dye kits as well, but we all know Sam, and we all know it never turned out.

[lamiaward]

Books

the inspiration for this were the books recs I sometimes see/reblog and my never-ending frustration because there are awesome series that don’t get enough acknowledgment

Stravaganza

-dimension travels! The other dimension is like Italy but then two centuries ago ( although there are some differences with ‘our’ Italy from two centuries ago. Like how Bellaza- the dimension’s Venice- doesn’t have a doge but a duchessa : D) , although it definitely has its differences.

-each book ( there are 6 but there might be more!! The author said she has plans for more books) has a new protagonist. Protagonists are really diverse!! You have girls, boys, black people, white people.. one guy has dyslexia, another one is suffering from cancer, there is a girl who self-harms, one that is bullied et cetera.  I mean, I am pretty sure there could be improvements (I don’t remember any gay characters, for example/ there was only one non-white protagonist I think?) but it does have diversity. The characters themselves are definitely round characters, and I remember liking all of them .

-okay so one of the mayor plot points is this family called Di Chimici ( like the entire alternate dimension it is based on reality, in this case on a family called de Medici’s ) that threaten to kind of ruin everything. They are really powerful ( we are talking grand dukes and all that shit). They are kind of like the Borgia’s. So spies and murder and all that.

 it is well-written, never boring, sometimes hilarious and has cool characters and a good plot.

Site : http://www.stravaganza.co.uk/

Every day – David Levithan

-this book. I love it. SO MUCH

okay so plot: the protagonist doesn’t have their own body but instead wakes up every day as another person. Which is okay- until they fall in love when they are in the body of someone’s boyfriend. Cue them trying to figure that all out

it is really thought-provoking/ smart.

Because A( the protagonist) wakes up as someone else every day, we get a lot of different people. BTW A also say they do not get attracted to genders, they are attracted to people/ that they do not really feel like they are either boy or girl.  there is just a lot of respect for all kinds of people, that is what I get from this book. Like there is one person with depression and the way A talks about it- about how difficult it is and everything, that just hit a note with me [ also the general way A reacts when they are in a new body ]

it is just really well-written and touching and amazing y’all

Wardstone Chronicles / the last apprentice

I already made a post about this one once, but I am going to include it anyways

-it is about a boy, Tom, who becomes the apprentice to the Spook. The Spook is a guy who fights the Dark ( witches, boggarts, and so on) and only the seventh son* of a seventh son has the abilities that you need to become a Spook.  The Spook is kind of a grumpy asshole but he will probably grow on you because he is actually pretty awesome beneath all the layers of assholery.

There are three characters that are the most important ( although you have some that reoccur and are pretty central to the plot) : Tom, the Spook and Alice. Alice lives with Bony Lizzy, her relative who is hella dark. Like, she uses blood magic and just kills people. Alice is a really complex character, who struggles a lot because her family consists of dark witches but she doesn’t really want to be that way. She is witty, strong and a very good friend. Tom is the protagonist. He is sweet, brave and courageous ( also such a momma’s boy wow). He also tries really hard to do the right thing, which I mention because there are some moments in the series where this becomes really difficult for him. The Spook is grumpy, anti-social and really strict. He does actually care  though, and your opinion about him will probably change because he does change when the series continues.

Something else that I love about this series : GRIMALKIN: she is a witch assassin who carves her sign, a pair of scissors ( the same one she uses to take her victims’ thumbs because the thumbs are obviously the very powerful magic) on trees so everyone gets terrified. I love her because her character isn’t just one of the bad guys. She seems that way but there is so much more going on.

-Okay, the creatures in this series are really cool. You notice that the author has actually put a lot of thought in his Universe.

There are strong female characters. Oh and I don’t know whether the author has done it on purpose but Grimalkin  definitely seems asexual/aromantic. There is no talk of people she has loved or anything, and the only ‘relationship ‘ she had was when she boned the Devil so he would leave her the heck alone ( the witches can make a deal with the Devil where if they carry his child, he can no longer bother them) [ sorry for that spoiler btw] I am not sure whether there are any official lbgtqa characters. I don’t remember – I read the last book about 2 years ago and I have reread parts of the series but I haven’t had time for a complete reread. And I think most of the characters are white although Grimalkin looks like this:

 ALSO there is a ship that is so amazing. It is the enemies to best friends to babies in forbidden love thing and they are both amazing characters ( although I like the girl character a lot more oops) and there is a lot of build-up and everything

I wouldn’t read the last book in the series, as it pissed me off for months. The rest of the books are generally amazing though

*in Delaney’s second series based in this universe, there is actually a seventh daughter who has powers but in the Wardstone Chronicles they say it is the seventh sons of a seventh son that become spooks, not daughters

Site: https://www.spooksworld.co.uk/qa-page

Anna dressed in blood

!!!!!!

*our main characters : Anna and Cas. Cas is a sassy, kind of cynical teenager that has ‘inherited’ his dad’s job to hunt and kill ghosts. Anna is his latest ‘target’, but there is a lot more going on than you would think with her. Cas also has two friends : Carmel ( the most popular girl at school who is kind and smart and doesn’t shy back from kicking ghost ass if needed to defend her friends ) and Thomas ( who is a witch and kind of a dork).

*this book has a lot of flow , and you will read through it pretty fast. It also remains interesting all the time – partly because Anna is kind of a mystery.

there is a second book. Don’t read that unless you like your soul to be crushed ( it is still pretty good actually, but I much prefer the first book)

I don’t remember there being any lgbtqa characters : (  :  (  I am not sure about the ethnicities of the four main characters, but I will edit this post as soon as I know.  

The author’s site: http://kendareblake.com/books/

Rainbow Rowell – carry on

[ lots of people probably already know this one but oh well. I really liked it! ]

*magic school with the ‘chosen’ one except a chosen one who can’t really make their powers work properly. And whose roommate is a vampire

*there are a lot of things that will remind you of Harry Potter, but it also has its own rules of magic/ plot points and so on.

the characters are pretty amazing. Simon ( the ‘chosen’ one) kind of reminds me of a big puppy, my poor child. Baz- his vampire roommate- is really snarky and they ‘hate’ each other ( wink wink) , mainly because Baz is part of one of the families of ancient powers and Simon’s ( I am gonna call him foster parent because I don’t have a better word for him) kind of took away all their power and is , in fact, pretty shitty to them. Anyways, Baz is the ‘seems evil but is actually a cinnamon roll who can’t deal with emotions’ person. Other characters include Agatha- pretty, popular, just wants to be Normal and none of this magic shit damn it- who is a really good friend to Simon and his girlfriend ( it doesn’t last, they don’t really work)  - and Penny-  Simon’s best friend who is super talented, confident and doesn’t want too many friends lol . No but really, they’re all pretty great. Although my favourites are Penny/ Baz.

there are gay characters and bisexual characters[ okay I have to admit I don’t remember whether they actually said they did love the opposite sex as well/ it wasn’t just heteronormativity thing or whatever but I am pretty sure they are bi]  and Penny isn’t white.

Pretty much anything by Rick Riordan to be honest

[ another well-known author but I am going to include him because I love his series okay?]

Okay so basically all his series are kind of modern au’s of mythology ( Greek/Egyptian/Norse) focused on the demi-gods of today/ with guest appearances of their godly parents.

Percy Jackson – pro’s :  it kind of makes being dyslexic a supertalent because demigods all are. Strong female characters. It is very funny( Percy is the sassiest little shit, I swear) but also has really serious/ even pretty dark moments. Also, the universe is so awesome?!  Cons : it is the whitest, straightest series Riordan has written . HOWEVER, it is all kind of really deceitful , as we learn in later series where characters from this series resurface . [also the hunters of Artemis literally have to swear off men so… you could make a case for them being aro/ace or lesbians or ….]

Heroes of Olympus – very compelling, very diverse characters. Also still has Percy[ although the first two books he has amnesia ] tell parts of the story so lots of sarcasm and all that. The Greek gods now also have Roman aspects [that kind of drive them _literally _crazy btw]. The universe Riordan created in PJO is expanded – we have some of the old characters paired with new characters and it is _beautiful. _Also a gay character, my poor baby. And some other characters who def. aren’t straight.

Kane chronicles- Egyptian gods. It is about a sibling duo ( who have actually been separated for quite a while) Sadie and Carter. They are both compelling characters in their own way, and I think the sibling relationship is pretty on point. They take turns telling the story btw. I really love these series as well, partly because I think Riordan just creates really rich universes that just draw you in. Carter isn’t white, Sadie is, and I don’t think that there any lgbtqa characters. There might be some implied ones?  [ again, read this series a while ago. Didn’t have time for a reread]

The Apollo trials- Apollo loses his godhood and has to go on a quest. He is so bisexual, I LOVE it. Also, we discover more about the gods’ sexuality and gods in general because Apollo comments on it and it is pretty hilarious because he, too, is snarky. There is also character development. ALSO IT IS REVEALED THAT A MALE GOD CAN HAVE A CHILD WITH A MALE HUMAN ISN’T THAT AWESOME? [ and I am 100% sure a female goddess can also have a child with another woman- especially because Athena’s kids are brain kids so she doesn’t get them by having sex]

I am going to read ( I have just purchased the first book) Magnus Chase as well, which is Norse mythology and I heard it had a trans character and a Muslim one :  ) [ don’t know for sure whether it is the same one ]  

 Okay, I am going to stop now but I will take a look at my bookcase and maybe continue this list/ make another post about it. [ oh and I didn’t reread anything I read so sorry for any grammar mistakes or whatever]

[markjsaterfiel66]

Hackbot in the Morning

I love coming in to work early; normally I get in around 6:45 a.m. Very few people are here at that time, and the ones that are? They get it. It’s about as close to freedom a working adult can expect.

On a particularly quiet morning very recently, I found myself thinking, “I’ve never made a bot with a Pi… isn’t that one of the things that everybody’s gotta do sooner or later? I wonder what it takes to actually get something up and running.”

So I decided that, with minimal effort and materials expended, I would give it a shot while there was nobody here to tell me otherwise – nothing fancy, just a platform that’ll drive around, to which I can ultimately attach more junk (it started with some junk reclaimed from other projects). Check the end of this post for a consolidated list of items used.

I started off with a Raspberry Pi 3 I mounted to an acrylic plate to try to give it some weight to hold it down when there’s a slew of cables stuck in it. I hit my pile of junk in my basement for more parts… and I came across this old project:

That there (above) is the remains of my “Little Dude” project I did a video for a while back, using servo wheels glued together as pulleys… good times, good times… Anyway, that’s a pair of gear motors (ratio unknown, whatever - let’s rock!) wired up to a TB6612 dual-channel motor driver good to 1.2A per channel. Sweet! This bot was just about building itself!

I figured could mount the motors and driver directly onto the acrylic with hot glue, although if anything got too hot, it would fall off. I decided to just really gum up the motors so any heat couldn’t melt all of the hot glue and stick to the edges of the driver board. This bot wouldn’t be drawing that much current. If I remember right the stall current on the motors is around 330mA, and we’ll be nowhere near that driving this little beastie around the office.

When it came to power, for initial testing I’d have to have all the cables and junk plugged in anyway, but Hackbot needed localized life support if he’s eventually going to romp free… not to mention headless operation. I could have started it with all the junk plugged in, then yank the keyboard, mouse and monitor out and set it on the floor, but that was definitely a short-term solution. I let that part go while I got the rudidments in place. In the meantime, I had to make a little regulator circuit with a 7805 – that should be good to an amp and a half, so it should cover me for the Pi and the motors. But a two-cell lipo is about 8.4V fully charged, and at a guess I’ll maybe draw 500mA average (totally ballparking here), giving me (8.4V - 5V)*0.5A = 1.7W to dissipate on that TO220. It would probably get hot unless I heatsink it.

Programming this in Python was easy enough, as it’s just GPIO manipulation. I wasn’t going to try and PWM the motor driver, as I had the gear motors and I knew they were slow. If they were faster, I might have had to worry about feeding them PWM to control the speed.

I then created a wiring diagram of sorts:

The hookup was simple enough. Each channel on the TB6621 is driven by three pins: [A/B]IN1 and [A/B]IN2, which determine the direction, and PWM[A/B], which allows you to adjust the speed of the channel through a PWM signal applied here. There’s also a standby signal (STBY) that will enable/disable both channels. That’s seven lines total, and they all get a GPIO line.

Running motor power through the RasPi wasn’t really the smartest thing I could do, but 1) the motors were originally rated for 6V and the lipo’s going to be more, and 2) I bet it wouldn’t be a problem at this stage, (though I wondered if I’d get motor noise back to the RasPi). Checking the TB6621 datasheet showed lots of noise-suppressing diodes on the motor outputs. Clearly, destiny wanted me to do this.

There were still a couple of things I needed to make this viable: wheels and a caster. Oh sure, I could have used those hot-glued servo wheels that were originally on the motors (check the first pic above) for some extra jank-factor. But I felt like I was already up against enough sketchy design, so I just bought them. Pro tip: that caster is a little tight at first. You can loosen it up by clamping that ball between the plastic with a pliers and giving it a little squeeze (not too much, as you can’t un-squeeze it).

After some hot glue magic plus a minimum of wiring, the bottom of Hackbot looked like this:

The top looks like this:

Now I had the physical platform close, but I still had to make a little regulator board. I figured it really didn’t need to be anything special, just an L7805 regulator, plus an electrolytic cap of 100uF or so on the output oughta do it. I gave it a two-pin male header to plug into the two-cell lipo, and snatched a micro USB plug from some unsuspecting cable to connect to the 5V out.

Then I mounted it on one of the stand-offs holding the RasPi down.

Another view:

The PCB that the regulator is mounted on is from an old product line of shaped PCB’s that we used to have, that one being a pentagon. It was lying around, so I used it. The idea here was that the battery will sit on top of the RasPi in some fashion (I can work out the specifics later) while plugged into that two-pin male header you see there.

From there, I turned to code. There’s definitely more junk to add, but that’s for another day. The car’s got wheels, right? Let’s go driving!

#Hackbot.py #Just a little test code to run around the floor a bit import RPi.GPIO as GPIO import time #a couple of delay constants leg = 2 turn = 0.5 #set up control pins for motor driver STBY = 31 AIN1 = 33 AIN2 = 35 PWMA = 37 BIN1 = 32 BIN2 = 36 PWMB = 38 GPIO.setmode(GPIO.BOARD) #use board pin numbers #set the GPIO's to outputs GPIO.setup(STBY, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(BIN1, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(AIN1, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(AIN2, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(BIN2, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(PWMA, GPIO.OUT) GPIO.setup(PWMB, GPIO.OUT) #set initial condiions, STBY #is low, so no motors running GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(AIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(AIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(PWMA, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(PWMB, GPIO.HIGH) #movement is governed by the 4 #following functions. These will #go into their own library, ultimately. def go_forward(run_time): GPIO.output(AIN1, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(AIN2, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN1, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(BIN2, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.HIGH) #start time.sleep(run_time) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.LOW) #stop def turn_left(run_time): GPIO.output(AIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(AIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(BIN1, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(BIN2, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.HIGH) #start time.sleep(run_time) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.LOW) #stop def turn_right(run_time): GPIO.output(AIN1, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(AIN2, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.HIGH) #start time.sleep(run_time) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.LOW) #stop def reverse(run_time): GPIO.output(AIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(AIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(BIN1, GPIO.HIGH) GPIO.output(BIN2, GPIO.LOW) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.HIGH) #start time.sleep(run_time) GPIO.output(STBY, GPIO.LOW) #stop #Then we make a simple driving patern and loop try: while True: #go forward go_forward(leg) #turn right? turn_right(turn) #go forward go_forward(leg) #turn right? turn_right(turn) #go forward go_forward(leg) #turn left turn_left(turn) #go forward go_forward(leg) #turn left turn_left(turn) #reverse reverse(leg) except KeyboardInterrupt: GPIO.cleanup()

To run this, I powered the Pi from my two-cell lipo with all the cables plugged in, just long enough to open a terminal window and run that code. Then, I quick-like yanked all the cords out, put it on the floor and let-r-rip!

Look at that thing lay it down! Am I right?? Those motors are really slow, and we don’t sell that particular one anymore. I want to say they’re geared 300:1…? Or maybe 300RPM? The concept is hereby proven, and I can change those motors out if I really want to.

Things I could have done better

1) Like I knew it would, the regulator gets hot. Not so hot that I can’t touch it, but I don’t want to for very long. The current draw is around 315mA sitting idle, and around 500mA-ish when we’re driving around, so it’s dissipating over 1.5W when driving. That’s a bit much for a TO-220 package by itself, so I should put a hunk of metal on it.

2) Running motor current through the Pi, while convenient for today, is kinda dumb for the long term. I can get away with it for now because the motor current is relatively low, but the current path between the USB plug and 5V on the header is in no way designed to do this. I should really run the motor voltage directly from the regulator.

3) Headless operation: plugging cables in and out to do this is no good. Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy; so does Hackbot.

4) Hot glue. You know what? The hot glue is working for me. Saved me a ton of time.

Those are the things that gotta happen before anything else gets added. What to add?

What comes next

There’s a bunch of GPIO left available on the Pi header, including SPI, I2C and UART interfaces, so there’s a lot of room for adding junk. I can’t add anything particularly analog, but I don’t think I need to. But anything with a digital interface is fair game – distance/proximity sensors, GPS, environmental sensors… it just depends on what your ultimate goal is, or what sensors you want play with. This would make an interesting mobile test platform for new gear.

For myself, I’m less about getting tiny bots to do my will, and more about, “That thing is sweet! I wish I was two inches tall so I could get in and drive!” So it’ll probably get a camera at some point, probably an OSD to keep me updated with various info. Then LEDs, Troll hair, googly eyes…

Recap: Materials Used

To extricate the list from my story-telling style:

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Break Away Headers - Straight

In stock PRT-00116

A row of headers - break to fit. 40 pins that can be cut to any size. Used with custom PCBs or general custom headers.

$1.50

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Raspberry Pi 3

27 available DEV-13825

Everyone knows and loves Raspberry Pi, but what if you didn't need additional peripherals to make it wireless. The Raspberry …

$39.95

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SparkFun Motor Driver - Dual TB6612FNG (1A)

Out of stock ROB-14451

The TB6612FNG Motor Driver can control up to two DC motors at a constant current of 1.2A (3.2A peak). Two input signals (IN1 …

$4.95

1

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Voltage Regulator - 5V

In stock COM-00107

This is the basic L7805 voltage regulator, a three-terminal positive regulator with a 5V fixed output voltage. This fixed reg…

$0.95

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Lithium Ion Battery - 1000mAh 7.4v

In stock PRT-11855

This high discharge LiPo is a great way to power any R/C, robotic, or portable project. This is an excellent choice for anyth…

$9.95

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Ball Caster Metal - 3/8"

In stock ROB-08909

This ball caster kit from Pololu includes a black ABS housing, a 3/8" diameter metal ball, two spacers (1/16" and 1/8" thick)…

$2.95

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Electrolytic Decoupling Capacitors - 100uF/25V

In stock COM-00096

Electrolytic decoupling capacitors 100uF/25V. These capacitors are great transient/surge suppressors. Attach one between the …

$0.35

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Micro Gearmotor - 130 RPM (6-12V)

Only 10 left! ROB-12281

These micro gearmotors are incredibly tough and feature full metal gears. They have a gear ratio of 210:1 and operate up to 1…

$12.95

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Wheel 32x7mm

In stock ROB-08901

This custom-designed plastic wheel from Pololu has a silicone tire measuring 1.26" (32 mm) in diameter and is designed to fit…

$6.95

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[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW13

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

After much deliberating, I'm going to just save and hold Jones. Realistically the best replacement I could find is Mustafi (can afford only up to 5.5) with Christensen against Pool seems a worthless switch, but, I don't like Mustafi enough to feel really happy about locking him in as a premium defender in my team. It also looks like Vardy needs to be sorted and doing that with one free doesn't feel great. A free swap to Mustafi this week would likely lead to a hit next week. I'd rather wait and potentially not hit. I either would like to upgrade Vardy or downgrade him and in either scenario I'd like two frees. Maybe go 352 with Alonso....maybe get Morata...some shit like this could be on the cards next week. I still have a full team to run out this weekend, and even though the defensive fixtures are not good, I've got a full team so saving seems fine.

GK:

Pope goes. Hoping for a 4 pointer or something...don't see a clean but saves will surely be on. Who knows, maybe they do clean. Stranger things have happened and this is the sort that Arsenal could struggle against.

DEF:

Woof. If I get 6 points out of my 3 defenders this week I'll consider myself extremely fortunate. Frustrating with Jones and Franno having excellent fixtures on the bench....not by mistake....but fuck them both. Forces me to start some pieces of shit this weekend. Ugh. Not a good way to set the table, but here we are.

Naughton has a good fixture and I'm hoping that Clement fucking figures some shit out and has them going again. But Swansea have been fucking shit lately so it wouldn't surprise me to see them getting done. Either way, the fixture is good on paper so hopefully Swansea wake up.

SWard I am forced to send out there. 2 points would be dreams. So too with Dunk. Not great, but the lads are stuck. Maybe this will be the weekend he bangs a dong off his face.

MID:

Triple City guys go again, Raz, Dilva, and Sane. This is my 3rd GW running with them and so far they've gotten me 16 and 12 points in weeks one and two. Not pulling up any trees but not horrible. They have been missing some fucking biggggg chances though so hauls are just around the corner. Huddersfield are the sort that they could conceivably put at least 5 in so maybe they will carry me this weekend. I am pretty nervous about Sterling starting though after he played 90 in UCL. He's a little fit boy and he scored the winner on an atypically nice goal so hopefully he gets back in there.

Finally Salah goes. Nothing to say there. Legend.

FWD:

Kane...fucker..come on lad.

Vardy probably farewell game for me this weekend / today against Moyes' merry band of fuckwits. Doesn't seem advisable to hold him for the Spurs match, and while he's been close to returns the last couple, he's the main "problem" spot on my team. Will see which way the wind blows this weekend and then figure out what to do with the lad.

Finally, UCL master champion of the world Bobby Firm goes again. The sick fuck keeps putting these teams to the sword in group stage and then putting up damp squibs in the League. Either way, I love him and he's a very comfortable hold so long as he's fit. Poor fixture this weekend but a nice run incoming. He was very close to a huge haul against Soton last weekend and having him in place with Pool looking back to normal with Mane and Cout in feels fantastic. I think they are by far the 2nd best attack in the league to City and will begin to show it.

CAP:

I'm jilting Kane (vice) and going with Leroy this weekend. The rest in UCL really did it for me and although he hasn't been shooting much last couple as discussed on the pod I'm just going to throw blind dice into the mixer and hope it doesn't come up snake eyes. If there is a game that could go 6-0 this weekend it is the City game. Huddy have banged on about it week after week - they don't park. City should rip them to shreds with space available and I'm just hoping Sane is well involved. I have read this script before though - and I fully expect Kane to come in since I've gone off him. Feels like that is how this game works so fuck me. Don't really think there will be a new manager bounce with old fuck Megson in charge for WBA but they will still be well parked. Could be 1-0...could be 3-0. I really don't know, and for this reason, I'm on Sane. Give me the best player rested midweek in a bankable crooked scoreline over the question marks surrounding Kane against a bus at Wembley all day. I look forward to seeing shit all over my face on twitter / reddit / wherever the fuck after you were on Kane all week and then switched to Sane after reading lambs. Fuck you. But not really fuck you, I love you. You, reader. You. 

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Toby

IN: Vert

The original plan was to get Vert over Toby from the jump but Walsh convinced me otherwise the dirty fucker. Then my kiss of death aptly killed Toby and here we are. Fate maybe exists. Maybe there really is just one person on this planet FPL who we’re meant to be with and mine is Vert. Ok sure.

Anyway I dilly-dallyed on other guys, Mustafi being a prime target, and Otamendi ahead of him. It felt very cheeky / clever to jump right onto Ota after his suspension after so many left him, because City are that good I just want all of them immediately, best team in the league by far.

Getting in Ota though means I would’ve also had to drop Kun, which got sticky, probably meant I’d make three moves and take a -4 to bring in Vert, Ota, and Morata/Lukaku for Toby, Phil Jones, and Kun. Seems fiiiiiiiiine... But I don’t want Rom. Straight up just don’t want the fucker. He’s good, he’s a good pick, he’s steady-Eddie as Walsh nicknamed him but listen they score 4 vs. capitulating Newcastle but then get held by Basel. This is the thing - I still think they’re mostly shit at attacking. So that, plus they have two good fixtures followed by Arsenal and City where I think you easily chalk up Manure to 0 goals or maximum 1 goal in each of those and I don’t want Rom again - as covered on pod.

Morata on the other hand is a much better player for me and has a fixture run of dreams. I just don’t think that it’s worth -4 to bring him in for a bad fixture. I’d rather keep the four points and roll the dice on Kun playing this weekend in what should be a 4, 5, 6+ to nill against Huddy. If the Pep is strong with me then Kun starts and Kun hats. And I fly. So here we are...

GK:

DDG home to Brighton. I know no Phil no party no clean but come the fuck on it’s Brighton lad.

DEF:

Vert slots right in with cleanable fixtures through January 21st. Home WBA a great place to make a defensive debut for me. Let’s get it Jan.

Scott Dann showing up to work punching his ticket for me again even after a nightmare of a match vs. the Eve last time out. But then again the penalty wasn’t a pen and the stoppage time shouldn’t have been tacked on so fuck it. Palace are still looking pretty tight and I’m still waiting for my Dann dong so please let it be this week. I need some bounce-back.

Lastly I have Phil Jones in but assuming he doesn’t play it’ll be Lejeune who tries desperately to win me over after a meltdown shocker of his own last week against a shit United attack. He was losing Chris Smalling on crosses and fucking up clearances and being bad. Need another bounce-back right here even though I think Watford will score multiple goals and Richarlison is a good captain shout. Fuck.

MID:

5 man midfield this week as again I roll out the 3-5-2. Don’t hate it to be honest...

Loftus-Cheek gets in there as the fifth guy but he’s very much a real fucking guy and I’m liking him a lot. That price for his position and his skills with Benteke coming back is just tremendous. Home to Stoke, let’s go again RLC.

Double City boys get in there with Silva and Sané. I pretty much ditto all of Walsh’s sentiments above that this should be a bare-bottom spanking against Huddy. City are by faaaaaaaarrrrrr the best team in the league and some people are arguing the best team in Europe right now... Sané and Silva just get the fuck in there lads. Silva needs to punish all fucking idiots who swapped him out for Paul.

Lastly Richarlison and Salah who also feel like the longest of long-term holds there. Fucking hell my midfield is incredible. Five out of five returns last week and still the red arrow dick in my now-red ass. LET’S FUCKING GO BOYS COME ON YOU FUCKS.

FWD:

Delightful double of Kun and Harry up top. It should feel better then it does do but Kun who the fuck knows, coin-flip if he starts/plays at all and then Spurs in a slump hampers the Kane appeal. But they’ll turn it around I reckon. So I’m not too worried about these guys... Just praying to all things that Kun starts.

CAP:

I’m on Richarlison. Maybe I’ll flip-flop a couple more times before the deadline in like two hours from now...

I typed out Kun but it was too dumb and risky. I typed out Leroy and it felt medium ok but kind of boring, and also the chances of BOTH me and Walsh hitting on the same cap are relatively negative percent so I don’t want to fuck up Walsh’s chances. In the end Richar has a great fixture and has been ole faithful over there. He shoots more times then god with a hatty / huge haul around the corner one of these days a la Salah. Maybe it’s this week... (Probably not this week).

I’m vice-capping Kun for all of you cheeky fuckers who wanna cap my vice. Hope it works out for you...