#it was only a little water tho so it's ok. less than an inch. AND it was clean

[zhongli-lover-69]

hey girl is the room flooding or are you just happy to see me

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

hello i hope it’s ok to request this, but I can’t stop thinking about that like really pure tender-emotional sex with la squadra— I was wondering if I could request that as either hc’s ( or a fic with melone or prosciutto if you get a muse for it ) I don’t know if that’s enough to go on but aa the sappy thoughts are running around my head ; v ; ) please and thank you ( unrelated but I love your blog and hope you have a wonderful day/night 💘 )

OK FIRST OF ALL THIS POST MADE IT INTO MY DREAMS i dreamt that i was answering this and one of the points i wrote for ghiaccio was 'don't worry he can handle it he's a gamer' WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???????

BUT!!! TOTALLY OK TO REQUEST IT I AM A SUCKER FOR TENDER EMOTIONAL SEX

and thank u sm afjglfndng i hope ur day/night is wonderful too 🥺❤️❤️❤️💕 even tho i think u sent this like maybe over a week ago time isn't real fjgkfkfj I HOPE UR CURRENT AND ALL FUTURE DAYS R GOOD. here are some hcs for u!!!!!

la squadra and lovemaking ❤️

18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

risotto ✂️

he absolutely craves intimacy. goin hard and gettin freaky is super fun obviously but to him the best, most fulfilling and satisfying sex is when he and his partner are just close as can be in every way

he wants to open up. create a space like that for him, where he knows he's as safe with you as you are with him, and you'll really see the incredibly gentle, loving, and passionate side of risotto. he knows how he presents himself outwardly, as cold and intimidating, but the thought of everyone seeing him as just that--or worse, seeing himself as just that--makes him feel empty and he hates it.

so be his safe haven where he can express just how damn loving he is, openly acknowledge that side of him and embrace it, love it wholeheartedly, and let him know that you know he keeps you safe in turn not just with his ferocity, but his softness. he'll be so full of love he'll wonder how he ever could have felt empty.

he'll want to make love face to face, looking into each other's eyes, kissing soft and deep, and just absolutely basking in how you make each other feel. he'll want to take his time to feel every single inch of you and leave nothing untouched. he could do this for hours and hours, all day really, and he's almost achingly gentle. do the same for him, feel and love his whole self, let him know that he is precious and deserves to be treated with care; his expression will go so soft (and he is more expressive like this). the way he makes his partner cum isn't just physical, it's euphoria and love felt in every way and he'll want to carry them there as many times as they want because he just wants to make them feel as loved as they make him feel

he's just quiet by nature so he still doesn't say much, he'd rather express himself in other ways and you're connecting so deeply that you hardly need words (depeche mode enjoy the silence plays tenderly in the distance) and he loves that, he loves that intimacy. but he will, as least once, maybe while you're getting him close, whisper an i love you.

you also get him smiling with his cute dimples, because of course you do. and tell him genuinely that he's cute; he doesn't hear it often, and it makes him feel loved. he'll be head over heels.

he'll hold you very close for a long time after, just being with you. he'll stroke your back and feel your heartbeat against his, there's something so beautiful and intimate about it. you make him so happy. he's really warm too, perfect for snuggling!!!!

prosciutto 🚬

his caring nature always comes out at least at some point during sex, but especially when you make love. the tricky part for him is letting himself be cared for, too. he gets a bit nervous about it in all honesty, and that's less about guarding himself and more about guarding everyone else.

help him see there's nothing to worry about. you know you're safe and loved with him always, that doesn't change when he allows himself to be cared for, and in fact brings a whole new level of emotional safety to the table when you connect like that. remind him in no uncertain way that he deserves it, too. remind him that he's human, and show that you want to feel human with him in any way he'll share with you. and of course, he wants that with you. he trusts you completely, and once it really clicks that it's a matter of trust too, it's much easier for him to settle into.

there's something so special and unique about the connection you two make when he lets his walls down in that way. he never could have imagined how amazing it is to let go with you, it's nothing he's ever felt before and he can't get enough of it.

he loves to give, he gives wholeheartedly and unabashedly, and he'll receive your love without hesitation too

the forehead touch. always the forehead touch. it's his way of connecting and showing affection. he may also nudge your noses together and close his eyes to just soak in your presence. if you initiate it, he'll melt.

he embraces imperfection with you and it feels so damn good. he'll get a bit more vocal--not necessarily louder, but breathy whines and whimpers and soft moans. he may get playful too, give sweet little laughs about how you're making him sound and kissing the tip of your nose. you get real smiles out of him with that adorable tooth gap. tell him it's adorable and kiss his cheeks, and he'll laugh again and smile wide and genuinely in that way that ur eyes close too cause ur just so happy u kno

he feels so, so fucking loved and it's so beautiful to him. he tells you as much when you're laying there afterwards and he's admiring every inch of you, every mark, blemish or scar, everything that isn't exactly even, admiring your beautiful soul. and he basks as you do the same for him. he'll thank you for sharing this little piece of humanity with him.

pesci 🎣

soft sex is his favourite. sex as a way of feeling close with the person he loves is what vibes with him the most, as an act of emotion and of loving and being loved in return.

it's a lot easier for him to be confident with that kind of sex/perspective on sex, because he knows he can just tap into his emotions and those of his partner. he really shines here, and he may still get a bit flustered because it's sex and sex with you and you're so fucking gorgeous in every imaginable way, but you still get to see this whole other side of him where he's just so comfortable in his skin and it's both really hot and really endearing.

he stops sort of separating or thinking too hard on just the physical or the mental or anything else, and expresses his love on all levels of being in a way that just lights you both up. he thinks being with you in this way is heaven on earth and he will let you know it.

he can make love with you like this anywhere soft and quiet and private, but aside from your bed, he loves the bath. he loves bath sex in general for the warmth and wetness and intimacy, and especially when you're connecting in this way, it's like.... he wouldn't consider himself to be poetic or particularly spiritual, but there's just something special about making love in water, maybe because we're all born from water, we all need water to live, all life on earth came first from the water. it's just something he thinks about.

he'll want to be face to face; he loves watching your face because seeing you in pleasure is so beautiful to him, he'll want to see your eyes flutter closed and open and commit the look you give him to memory, soft and sort of honeyed-hazy y'know but bright because you love him, and you're loved by him, and he can see it in you. he'll want to hold hands too, and twine your fingers together.

words come a lot easier to him like this too, because he knows there's nothing to hide and nothing to worry about, so he'll just murmur throughout about how much he loves you, how good you make him feel in every way, how he wants to make you feel like that too. show him that he does; he'll kiss you so softly and with so much love that he feels like he could burst.

he's just so soft and gentle in every way. he'll want to still just hold your hand for a long time afterwards.

formaggio 🧀

he's very emotionally in tune, that connection u create with a partner no matter how casual is a huge part of his enjoyment of sex, so he absolutely loves taking all the time in the world to just feel each other in every way and be so emotionally close with you

he often likes to feel like a big macho guy taking care of his babe but he loves being taken care of too because he can experience another side of your connection (and it's just nice!!!!), so when he really makes love with his partner he can feel sort of both at the same time and he loves it. he just feels so entwined with you.

he's still playful, it's in his nature. but when y'all get really tendie he'll be especially gentle with how he plays around. he'll tweak your nose and kiss your neck to hear you giggle, he just loves to make his partner laugh and he's laughing and smiling too

he also still talks a lot, he murmurs about how much he loves you and how incredible you are, how you make him feel amazing in every way, he'll list off all the little things he notices about you that he's just so fond of. he doesn't tease as much, he just grounds himself in the moment with you. it's also really hot and sweet to hear his words trail off with little laughs or sighs or soft moans.

he also has a lot of cute pet names for his partner, and he does still use them but when you get really soft like this he'll often just murmur or moan your name more than anything and there's something so intimate about it

overall you'll see an even more genuine side of formaggio (and he's already a pretty down to earth dude) because he really just feels most at ease when he's surrounded by love

he'll snuggle and kiss you and lay around for a long time afterwards, play with your hair, stroke your back, talk about everything and nothing and how much he loves you. his wandering hands may lead to more lovemaking; he just can't get enough of you.

illuso ✨

it takes a lot for illuso to open up like that. he's extremely guarded with his emotions. he very much desires softness, and there's something about being bare (more than just physically) that really draws him in, but he'd need a lot of trust to get there.

and it's not just him trusting you that's part of the equation either; he isn't used to being trusted. show him honestly that you trust him, and treat every glimpse of genuineness from him with love, and it'll go right to his heart. he's unused to being really seen, so if you see who he is and choose to openly share your heart with him, he'll be smitten.

ask him to just be with you, and he will, he'd love nothing more. reassure him that he doesn't have to think so much; you can both just let go and feel. you'll see a side of illuso where he's just in awe and a really pure sort of wonder of what you create together, this little moment in time and space, this experience across all states of being.

you absolutely make love in the mirror world. it's illuso's safe haven, and he wants it to be yours as well, it's an entire world where there's no one and nothing but the two of you and the love you make and that's so special to him. he'll want to take his time, and with no possible interruptions, he can. you spend hours together; he goes very slow and very gentle. he just wants you to know how precious you are to him, and how much he wants to be with you.

you'll explore every single inch of each other. he'll kiss you absolutely everywhere, and not just in the obvious places; he'll kiss your palms, your fingers, your closed eyelids, every mark on your skin. when he kisses your lips, it ranges everywhere from a mere brush to open-mouthed, deep, and languid. treat him with the same slow, thorough care, and he'll melt.

he doesn't tease. he'll probably be pretty quiet, but once he whispers that he loves you, he'll find himself just telling you all his inner thoughts, everything he loves about you and everything you make him feel: truly beautiful in a way he'd hardly experienced before, safe, so genuinely loved. if you express the same to him, that you feel his love for you in every little way he shows it and cares, that you see and feel his whole self and love him in his entirety, that he makes you feel precious, he will feel precious too. he may actually cry a bit. he's just so happy with you.

he's the kind of guy who likes to watch everything, but he's not sure what to do now: see the love in your eyes or close his eyes to bask in it. he opts to just go with the flow of the moment. he's completely open and unguarded, his hair is loose (if you run your fingers through it he'll sigh sweetly), he'll give you these genuine smiles, you'll get real little laughs out of him, and every sound he makes (including the way he murmurs your name) is so soft.

he can't stop smiling after, he'll hold you and play with your hair, and eventually draw a nice bath for you to share

melone 🍈

he absolutely loves soft, emotional sex. of course he likes being kinky and stuff too, but human sexuality as a whole is so fascinating to him, sex is such a beautiful experience in his eyes and he's very eager to explore different expressions of it. it's really interesting to him how you can define making love as something different than fucking when it's all still sex.

he loves the connection it brings. it's such a deep, personal way to feel close with someone and he wants that with you, he wants to explore each other in every way. he loves to learn new things about his partner and finds it so intimate when they learn about him too, whether it's something you've always done that he's just putting his finger on or it's a new development, like the particular way you roll your hips or how your eyes squeeze shut when you cum. point out a subtle habit of his too, like how his breath stutters when you do something he really likes; it makes him feel cared for. but even if there's nothing new to notice, he loves the comfort of your familiarity, too.

he's very open with it, you don't have to wonder what he's thinking about. he'll be murmuring softly about your beauty, how much he cherishes you, how you make him feel cherished too, how good you're making him feel. he wants to know if he's making you feel good, too. tell him so--better yet, show him--and let him know that you feel his love for you, that you feel cared for and safe. he'll smile and give you a long, sweet kiss. tell him anything and everything you're thinking of, he wants to know you in mind, body and soul.

and he is spiritually open and explorative and it fascinates him to think of sex as an act of creation, and even if it isn't sex to make new life it's making love, it's making a bond, and that's a special sort of creation too. he loves to create with you. he understands how it could be viewed as sort of divine.

he loves to care for you, and being cared for in turn makes him putty. knowing that he's truly loved is one of the best feelings ever and it really just makes him wanna cover your face in kisses tbh. which he does, and he laughs hearing you laugh cause you bring him joy.

he's also still loud when he cums but that doesn't make it any less soft and tender tbh because he's just wholeheartedly falling into the bliss you give him, he'll cry out your name and how much he loves you between moans.

he'll want to do this all day if that's what you want too. eventually when you're done, he'll cuddle you, kiss you, and still murmur all his thoughts to you while you both trace patterns in each other's skin.

ghiaccio ❄️

he gets really flustered about soft, emotional sex at first. not just because he's being vulnerable with you, but you're being vulnerable with him, and it's you, and he cares about you so much.

part of him is almost kind of worried he'll never be gentle enough. help him see that's not true, because he absolutely is gentle with you; he knows he can be brash which is why he's always so careful with you, especially in softer moments. you also love him for who he is, in his entirety, and that makes his heart glow. you trust him, and he trusts you.

ghiaccio is passionate, and he can still express that fire in him softly and tenderly. he'll hold your face in both hands while he kisses you, and while he doesn't necessarily kiss hard, he's thorough, and it mellows out into something very soft and subtle before he pulls away. his pace is slowed a lot, because he wants to just feel you in every way; he really relaxes into the rhythm of something slow and gentle, but still passionate, holding your gaze with his hands never leaving your body. thinking of sex as a way to express your love for each other, he can't help but slow down and be soft, cause it's you.

he also can't help but make noise, soft as it may be, and say your name. he doesn't half ass important things, and you're so, so important to him, so he just completely wraps himself in your love and does the same for you. express that, with him, you know you're loved and safe; he'll want to kiss you again and again and again until you're both breathless.

may not talk as much, because soft words don't really come easily to him and he's sort of self-conscious about it, but once he gets really into it and he does start talking he doesn't stop: he'll say how much he loves you and how badly he just wants to show that to you, how you're so hot and gorgeous and loving, and he doesn't really think of them as flowery words because they're just truth, and his penchant for honesty is such a wonderful way to know you're loved

ghiaccio honey why on earth were u worried about not being gentle. after he's cum once or twice and he's gotten some energy out he is so, so gentle, he'll take care of you so tenderly and kiss you softly. he just wants to be close with you.

his cuddly side always comes out after sex and he'll be no different now. he'll press you against him and hook his chin over your shoulder and tangle your legs together, his cuddles are the best. you definitely get him smiling too, cause you make him happy.

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're both fucking crazy in nearly all aspects of life and that includes sex, but they're also very passionate and very in love with each other and with you; they're no strangers to tender, emotional sex and they love it because it's such a wonderful way to be so deeply close.

they have no problems being bare and open with you. they're so in their feelings all the time that it feels really natural; they'll very openly express how much they love you, all the ways they love you, how deep and powerful that love feels that they just want to surround all of you in it.

gelato is more talkative in that sense, he'll spill all his feelings in between kisses with his hands on either side of your face. sorbet will give you a long, slow, deep kiss, meet your eyes, and place your hand over his heart while your foreheads touch. you just know.

you're all tracing every inch of each other while you make love, they want to know everything because they just can't get enough of you, the entire world is the three of you. they're absolutely basking in your attention, too; kiss every scar and let them know how beautiful they are to you, that you see them and you love them, that they have your heart as much as you have theirs. they'll melt.

you're safe with them. let them know that you feel how deeply they love you and you feel their safety, and that they're safe with you too, that they're precious. having you and each other as their safe havens and being taken care of makes them feel so damn much.

they'll both still get very playful, they can never take anything too seriously and they just love you so much, they want you all to have fun together. gelato will absolutely do that thing where he kisses down ur front like he's gonna go down on u and then blow a raspberry on your tummy to make you squeak (but then he does still go down on you and doesn't break eye contact the whole time so you can see how fucking much he loves you and wants to make you feel good). if you're ticklish, sorbet will definitely sneakily tickle you, or do something really good while you're in the middle of murmuring something to hear you devolve into moans. then he'll press his loving smirk against your skin. they wanna get you both laughing and moaning, it's the best sound in the world to them, and they'll be right there with you.

gelato is still loud when he laughs and when he cums but it's so sweet and charming because that's just who he is and he's absolutely embracing how you both make him feel. sorbet is the quieter one, but he'll hum and sigh and murmur your names because he loves how they feel in his mouth. he will also whisper to both of you that he loves you because he just wants to say it in every way.

they can go all day and they'll absolutely want to. if one of you needs a break, you'll just watch the other two and kiss them and hold them, the way you all love each other is so beautiful to them. when you're all well and truly done, you'll be tangled in a heap (they are always very cuddly) and they'll both be smiling as they just lazily caress and kiss you and each other.

[whet-ones-appetite]

JJK students pranking you with a fake cockroach gone wrong + extra

SFW — Yuji + Toge + Yuuta + Megumi + Nobara + Maki

Trigger Warning — None!

Itadori Yuji

• This boy would never do anything that can cause harm to you or to anyone

• But he also wonder what are the things you’re afraid of aside from loosing him

• Because you always look so cool and sweet at the same time

• Then he saw this video about a couple where the other pranking the other one with a fake cockroach and ended up hugging the other

• So he decided to give it a try

• He is planning to do it inside his room, making sure that it’s only you and him

• He hid the toy beside the tissue dispenser

• He bought food and he knows you’ll ask for them later on

• “Hey, you got tissue?”

• And you did, he tried his best not to be obvious so he just didn’t look at you as he try to make his voice as normal as possible

• “Yeah, it’s right there”

• He watched you as you make your way to the tissue dispenser

• He counted 1 to 3 inside his head and then...

• He heard nothing. Did you not see it? He made sure to put it where you can see it

• He quickly turned his head to stare at his food before you turned around as he silently questioned himself what did go wrong

• “Hey, Yuji”

• “Yeah?” maybe he answered too quickly here and turned his head too quickly it hurts

• “What is that? Is that... a cockroach?”

• He turned his head to where you are pointing at and there is a cockroach, beside him, only an inch apart from his uncovered legs

• He’s in your arms as quick as he turned his head when you called his name earlier

• Poor boy looks very terrified as he try to hide himself inside your arms

• It didn’t take too long before he hears you laughing, throwing your head back while hugging him and he stopped screaming, looking at you weirdly

• “Wha-“

• It took him 10 seconds before he could process what was happening. The cockroach was too stiff to be real then he realized it was the toy that he bought

• His scared face is now close to crying out of regret because of his attempt of pranking you came back at him

• He is embarrassed and hate his self for putting himself in this situation

• “Sorry, Yuji. You’re just too cute. I’m sorry don’t cry. Come here let me hug you”

• And he did. All the negative feelings is fading as you rub his back. This is what he wanted after all but the other way around

• I guess you’re not really afraid of anything

• “I was planning to prank you like the video I watched the other week. But you didn’t got scared.”

• “I know, I’m sorry. But at least you got to hug me right?”

• “Yeah”

• He said with a sob but he is grinning as he tightened his arms around you.

• You both didn’t know how long you were hugging each other before Yuji decided to continue cuddling in the bed, the food and cockroach long forgotten

• Maybe deciding to prank you wasn’t bad at all

Inumaki Toge

• Don’t think he’ll never prank you

• He may look harmless but he’s also a little devil

• So he decided to do this harmless prank on you one day because he feels like teasing you a bit

• Because who is not scared of cockroaches right?

• He just wanted a payback for the thing you did to him the other day

• You put a wasabi paste inside his onigiri

• Because he is so cute and you want to bully hin sometimes

• So one day when you’re both finished training, chilling under the tree, trying to make a bet with him to give you his last candy

• “Come on, it’s just paper rock scissors. It won’t hurt. Please”

• He knows that you’re definitely up to something

• But how could he say no? With how cute you look pouting while begging him

• But he has a goal and he is determined to teach you your lesson today so he agreed

• “Really!? Yey!”

• His lips curved upward a little as he saw how excited you are. But it faltered when you suddenly kissed him in the cheek

• Then he remembered that he should focus and this is just another one of your antics to distract him so you could win

• At first round, he didn’t let you win just to prove that your antics aren’t effective

• On the second round, he let you win so he could do his evil plan

• “I win!”

• “What would you get out of this? Just asking.” he typed on his phone

• “A candy. Plus I get to kiss you as an excuse.”

• “Is that another one of your ways to distract me?”

• “Of course not! I’m telling the truth. And I win. So time for my prize.”

• “Close your eyes and extend your hands forward, palms up.”

• You’re not exactly sure why you have to close your eyes. It’s more like being punished than being rewarded

• He slowly put the fake cockroach to your hands with the candy

• “Salmon”

• Your once full of excitement expression turned into a scared one as you saw not only one but three cockroach sitting on the palm of your hands

• You jumped on your seat, standing up, throwing the cockroaches everywhere

• Toge silently laugh like he was satisfied with your reaction. And he is

• The satisfaction didn’t last when you realized what happened and glared at him

• It lasted for three seconds until you felt your eyes watered and you started sobbing as tears streamed down your face

• He panicked and wiped your face with the sleeves of his uniform

• “Mustard leaf?”

• He ask as he hugs you. And you hugged him back. You’re angry because you didn’t expect him to pull that kind of thing but you think you kinda deserve it

• “I’m fine. I just didn’t expect you to pull that kind of prank. It’s ok I guess I deserve it.”

• “Salmon”

• You chuckled and hit his arm

• “Shut up.”

• But it didn’t stop you both from pulling pranks on one another. One time when you finished training with Maki and Nobara, you saw him wearing your dress while posing.

• He is a dork. That you are sure of.

Okkotsu Yuta

• When you look at him he seems like the sweetest person on earth

• And he isn’t capable of doing something evil that could hurt someone

• But you’re wrong. You’re totally wrong when he decided to prank you with a fake cockroach

• It was a peaceful day, with a nice weather for training in the field

• But you can’t go because there’s a cockroach inside the pockets of your jogging pants

• It feels pretty stupid if you’ll ask Maki or Nobara to take it out for you, you think

• You’re not sure how it got in there and what is a cockroach doing inside your jogging pants

• It seems pretty cozy in there because it’s not moving

• Dead or not you’re not touching it

• You were starting to panic on how to get it out when someone knocked on the locker room.

• “Y/N? Are you done changing?”

• You ran and opened the door with wide eyes

• “Thank God, it’s you. Can you help me with something?”

• “Sure, what is it? Is there a problem?”

• “Yes. A big one. There’s a... cockroach inside the pocket of my pants. And I can’t change my clothes.”

• “Really? Then I can remove it for you.”

• “Thank you, Yuta! You’re the best.”

• You hugged him first before leading him to where your pants are

• You turned around, not wanting to see the cockroach

• On the other hand, Yuta was trying to suppress his laughter because he was the mastermind of this

• He just wanted to tease you a little because you seem so stress lately and wouldn’t spend a little bit more time on him

• After he got ‘rid’ of the cockroach he came back to you with your pants

• You thank him and quickly got changed

• After getting changed, you both walked to the field where the other students are training

• “I owe you that one, Yuta. Thank you so much”

• “No problem. But you can do me a favor.”

• “Sure. What is it?”

• “Come out with me this weekend. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You need some time for yourself too sometimes. So please?”

• You sighed. You’ve been spending less time with him lately because you want to improve

• “Fine. You’re right. Let’s go out this weekend.”

• You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. He gave your hand a little squeeze.

• “Ok! That’s a plan, no take backs.”

• He might’ve have not noticed but he’s hopping as he walks, and it made you smile even bigger

• But something fell out of his pockets and you were about to pick it up when you noticed that it was a fake cockroach

• You stepped back but the longer you stare at it the more it looks familiar to you

• “Hey, are you ok?”

• “You- it was a fake cockroach? Did you put it in my pants on purpose so you could take me out this weekend?”

• “No! I mean yes, but my intentions aren’t bad! I can explain!”

• He looks like he doesn’t know if he should touch you or not

• “Be honest. It was Gojo sensei who told you to do this, right?”

• “Y-yes... I’m sorry. I just really want to take you out to spend time with you.”

• “I know that. But don’t ever listen to him again ok? You know how he is.”

• You said to him and your voice was soft this time so he thought you weren’t angry now and tried to reach for your hands

• But you hit his nape playfully before he could reach your hand and ran

• “See you this weekend.”

+ the line who I think wouldn’t even dare to prank you and the reason why

Fushiguro Megumi

• You see he is too serious in life to even think of pranking you

• And he doesn’t want to scare you because he’ll gain nothing from it too

• But when you get pranked by the seniors he is ready to rescue you

• He’s ready to tell them to stop but when he sees that it will not offend you or you’re having fun too then he’ll just watch

• He doesn’t notice but he smiles when he watches you and they will tease him instead

• Sometimes you tried pranking him but it was always a fail

• You still do it tho even if he doesn’t give you any reaction because he knows that you’re up to something

• And you just want him to give you head pats when you’re disappointed

• He secretly enjoys it too because he likes to see you enjoying his company and making you happy

Zenin Maki

• Like Megumi, she is pretty serious too

• And I don’t think she’ll even think of pranking you because she’s busy with her priorities and that is not one of them

• But you are one of them tho

• The students wouldn’t even think of pranking you because, hello, your significant other is Maki no one will dare

• But when she’s not around, Panda, Inumaki, and Yuji will prank you in different ways

• They still do it tho even if they end up getting hit in the neck by you

• And it makes Maki smile on how you don’t let others intimidate you

• One time you tried pranking her but you failed and you never dared to try again because she took her revenge when it was training time

• She said that you should lend more time in training than in useless things like that

Kugisaki Nobara

• She wouldn’t even want to look at a cockroach

• She thinks it’s gross and thinks of using her hammer and nails sometimes to kill it but the cockroach probably doesn’t deserve that much effort

• The students sometimes think of pranking you, but they like to prank her

• Probably because she gives more satisfying reactions to pranks

• So you would be the one to comfort her even though you were laughing with them too

• She can’t get angry with you because you look too cute when you laugh and she secretly loves it and the attention you give her

• When they prank you she will come after them instead and beat them up for you

• You think that sometimes she uses it as an excuse because she just like to beat people

[kiss4kazu]

ooh! can i request something spicy?? maybe headcanons of claude, dimitri, and felix’s kinks?

spicy hcs | dimitri, felix, claude

this is combo between just kink hcs and also how first times being freaky w these three go hahhahahahhahah screams. this is not safe for kiddos so proceed with caution folks 

felix <3 

whew, okay. sweats. um 

so the first time u and felix do the do was definitely not planned. things tend to escalate a lot with felix when it comes to intimacy. pecks goodnight lead up to make out sessions and all of a sudden his hand is down your pants and you’re honestly not complaining. 

felix is definitely more of a giver than a receiver, not because he liked giving, but because he liked being in control. he liked seeing you writhe beneath him and all that jazz. 

he’d definitely deny you from reaching your high multiple times, partially to draw out the activity since you tend to come quite quickly beneath his touch but also because hearing you whine his name helplessly was a really big fucking turn on and he always swelled with pride knowing he was the only person who can turn you into a sobbing mess. 

felix has 2 moods. his soft and pliant types of fucking, and his arrogant, i’m big bad felix fraldarius and my cock is 30inches long type of fucking. he knows hes hot, he knows he has a pretty dick, might as well utilize it.

he hates praise when it’s ingenuine, for things intangible that he hadn’t earned himself. when it’s people praising him for his title or the power of a fraldarius battalion. 

but praise when it comes from you? when it’s you letting him know just how amazing he feels inside of you, how with every thrust of his hips your brain short-circuits and your eyes water with unspilled tears? when it’s you not being able to even form coherent words anymore because felix fraldarius is throbbing inside of you... yeah, that kind of praise. it does wonders for him and his dick. 

he’s also into hair-pulling

and overstimulation

hes also rly rly easily jealous like if someone else was making eyes with you or perhaps you were giggling a little too loudly with some handsome noble he’d just yank you away and march u up the stairs to his dormitory before kissing you hard 

he’s the type to make u beg and be rly possessive he’d just fuck you so ruthlessly hair stuck to his skin, panting “you’re mine. mine. say it” and u would just cry bc why tf he so sexy hello-

as mentioned in my kissing post, felix sucks the life out of you when he kisses you so it’s only logical that he fucks the life out of you too.  

im kidding ofc!! not rly

although he’s on the giving end of things, it’s still completely self-indulgent, felix gets off just knowing he’s getting you off because he’s a sexy narcissist like that. 

but on some days, he really really wanted you to know he cared a lot about you. 

felix isn’t the best with words, but he was really good with his tongue, so things usually worked out okay. he’d kiss you, everywhere. every inch of you, leaving hickeys in even the most visible places because who fucking cares. you were his, he needed you to know that. he needed everyone to know that. 

he can be sensitive sometimes too, make love, if you will. 

he has to be rly emotional tho, so it’s probably after something eventful happens in his life. like when the kingdom takes back fhirdiad, or wins the war. or when he’s sleepy and tired and wakes up hard and is just too lazy to put on his big bad scary persona. 

sleepy felix is submissive felix, aka my favorite felix. sleepy horny felix is all whiny and blushy and just wanted to come and he absolutely despised himself for it

you were well aware of how much he hated himself for being soft and needy, but that made teasing him all the more fun.

so yes, some nights felix would fuck you brainless and soak in the sound of your voice crying out his name helplessly. but on other nights, felix would lay down, his hair splayed against the pillow, your fingers twirling his locks and tugging gently as your other hand jerked him off, lips pressed against his as you breathed in his whines and grunts.

hearing him whine was a really rare sight, but it did slip out occasionally, when you squeezed the base of his member unexpectedly or when you took him deep into your throat and swallowed around him. felix really likes fucking your mouth. 

yeah felix is an emotionally constipated sex god 

claude ! 

whew lord. 

ok so claude, my sweet, cheeky, little shit <3 

the first time probs wasnt even intentional with him either he was just teasing you a little too much and things got a bit carried away but it’s a great time nonetheless

doing the do with claude is probably a rollercoaster ride, he would literally never shut up and would just say the most stupid things and you’d hate yourself for still being so desperate for his touch because somehow in between his terrible jokes and merciless teasing he whispered complete filth into your ears.

he’s a master of dirty talk, chuckling against the shell of your ear at the sound of you choking out a sob at his words, tugging at your earlobe just to spur you on even further. 

“don’t tell me you’re clocking out already?” you’d just glare at him in frustration despite your flushed cheeks and he’d kiss you on the tip of your nose and laugh in amusement at your misery 

he’ll literally do everything but fuck you, covering every inch of your skin in love bites, especially your chest. he’d literally eat you out or suck you off until you were dizzy but if you want him inside of you, he’d definitely make you beg. 

if you ever tried to get smart with him… um, he’d uh .. p-punish you 

not like in a pain kink type of way he’d just pull out right before you could nut and would laugh maniacally in your face afterwards because that’s what you get for being a smart ass ! denying u from coming is basically how he punishes u so its a pretty long night but claude’s really really good with his tongue so you’re guaranteed to come like 3 times at minimum anyways

he’d devour you, all smirks and with eyes filled with mirth and he wouldn’t give in until you were absolutely wrecked under him. 

he’s very um… dominant, i would say

but not an aggressive dom, definitely a playful dom who enjoys edging and teasing a bit too much 

he’s also pretty experimental, i can see claude as a bit of an exhibitionist also, he’d probably fuck you in the cathedral just for shits and giggles 

but he is human and despite how much of  a little shit claude is he’s just as wrecked as you he’s just much better at hiding it 

he’d probs quit the teasing once he himself can’t handle it anymore

and wow uh thats when claude gets all sensual 

when claude’s kind of in overdrive and completely uncoordinated just messily thrusting over and over again to finally get you both to that place thats when he becomes all romantic and lovey 

would compliment you to no amounts end, call you all sorts of pet names like honey, sweetheart, baby, etc. 

his messy curls would stick to his skin, his forehead pressed firmly against yours, verdant eyes blown wide maintaining eye contact with you just for that extra level of intimacy because watching you when you’re like this really drives him over the edge. 

he’d pant against your lips, kiss you roughly and somehow find it in himself to even let out an amused laugh because he’s having sex and that’s kind of funny for some reason

claude’s pull-out game probably a1 but idk he’s possessive in less conventional ways so i feel like he’d  get off to the thought of releasing inside you and watching him drip down your thighs bc yea

claude is also the king of aftercare let it be known

he’d have so much energy after sex for some reason like he’d just hop right up clean your bodies, fetch you tea if you wanted some and curl up with you resting on his chest, running his fingers over the skin of your arms tenderly and smiling softly to himself when exhaustion takes over you and you slip into a warm slumber against his chest. 

i love him bye

dima 

ok so dimi is a busy busy boy and even when he does have free time he’s never entirely there his mind is always kind of somewhere else u know 

he’s always struggled w getting a proper night's rest and always overworks himself into hysteria

so, as his lovely s/o, you presume a nice session to destress will help loosen those knots in his muscles and all that chaos whirring around in his mind

you were thinking a nice trip to the sauna or something

but dimi had other ideas 

 he’d just look at you and his gaze would darken all of a sudden and with just a glance at him you already feel the wind being knocked out of you 

it would be rly sudden, like dimitri’s just rly needy all of a sudden and he’s taking whatever you’ll give rly he has so much pent up stress and needs some form of release and he’s so so emotional and touchy and won’t stop kissing you with so much fervor and desperation

dimi is 1000% a lovemaker im sorry u cannot convince me otherwise. unless he is feral. if he is feral then understandable have a good day. 

he’s all about pampering and kissing every inch of you and asks every five minutes is this okay? are you comfortable? does that hurt? are you sure? because he’s terrible with fragile things and if he ever hurt you he’d never forgive himself poor baby

part of you just wants to grab his face and say !!! im fine !!! you big idiot !! but you just pull him to your chest and nuzzle your face into his neck and breathe him in deeply, kissing his jaw gently before reassuring him i’m fine dimi, stop worrying 

he’d calm down instantly and focus back on the task at hand, pleasuring the love of his life hehe

BODY WORSHIPPING non stop praises just kissing everywhere his lips come across you’d love it but hate it at the same time bc part of you just wants him in u already and the other half of u is just so so enamoured by him and feels so warm and loved and appreciated

he’s more of a giver than a receiver as well though for opposite reasons compared to felix, he worries about your comfort so much to the extent where it distracts him from his own pleasure, and it isn’t until he’s inside of you that he remembers and is like oh wow fuck and yea things dont usually last very long for him since he always neglects his own pleasure in favor of yours. he gets so focused on making u feel good because he loves you so much and he needs you to know that so yeah he doesn’t remember to even touch himself lmao 

you’d probably come like twice before dimi even whips his schlong out 

at the peak of his pleasure tho dimi gets kinda rough ngl. he’s a person whos very emotionally driven so when everything gets to be a bit too much he’s just slamming into you with so much force your skin stings, grip so tight on your hips there’s sure to be bruises in the morning but despite how rough he is his eyes are nothing but gentle and so so loving 

probably says something like oh seiros when he’s about to come LMAOOO 

dimi is also a king with aftercare but he’d probably knock out like a log afterwards and it’d be like the best sleep he’d get tbh all warm and satiated and just content

dimi sex god 

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence,"  you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working  on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on.  Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

[felswritingfire]

Could we get nyarlthotep sfw/nsfw senarios? Maybe with a male reader if that's ok?

Bro, I have such a love/hate relationship and he’s one of the only characters I can say has enigma energy (also of course it’s alright if the reader is male, we stan Male Reader rights dammit)

Dating Nyarlathotep

SFW

Where do I even begin with this guy- 

When Nyarl has a thing for you, it is the most obvious yet not obvious thing in the world; he’ll crank up the teasing to a solid 20 and then glue himself to your side, running random touches along your spine or brushing his claws against your hip, and then all of a sudden he’s gone and it’s a whole week before he pops up again. And this continues for a good three months, progressively gets more touchy and the periods he’s gone get more sporadic, until either A) you get fed up and confront him about it or B) you begin to give him a taste of his own medicine (AKA avoid the asshole and keep him from touching you)

Which, either way, both scenarios play into Nyarl’s grubby little claws

The A) option would be one where he would lean against a wall/back of the chair while you go off on him. All the while having an infuriatingly easy going smile for you tearing into him; you don’t know if he’s listening and it is pissing you off. In actuality he is, but he doesn’t want you to know that, you’re cute when you’re mad, my guy. So, he’ll just sit there staring at you with half lidded eyes, letting you blow off some steam before he presses a finger against your lips and gives you some bedroom eyes and, it’s up to you whether or not you’re gonna have the do right then and there, but he knows he got you hook, line, and sinker

If the scenario is the B) option, he’ll amp his bullshit up so inconceivably high. He’ll begin to purposely leave risqué touches on your person: he’ll brush his hand against your lower back, maybe even hook his fingers in the back pockets of your pants just so he can drag you back against him, he’ll start resting his face in the crook of your neck (whether your standing or sitting for him to be able to do this) brushing his mouth just close enough to the shell of your ear for you to shiver- and if you’re trying to avoid all his touches to get back at him? Hoooo, boy, good luck;

He’ll get a little pissy at this because he wants to see your reaction (RIP you if you get flustered really easily). So, he’ll begin to corner you, or catch you in the most crowded places just so he has an excuse to press into you from behind. At these points, especially if you’re stuck in a very crowded place like, let’s say for example, a subway train (👀👀), he’ll press up against your back while slipping his hands over your thighs and up to your stomach before going back down to the dip of your hips and pressing you harder against him. And you bet your ass that any movement or- ahem- subtle pressure to your ass is just the sway of the train. He’ll chatter away like nothing too and it is bullshit. He’s an asshole in the fact that he’ll make you two stand like that until the ride is over

Once a relationship gets going between you two, you’re honestly surprised to find out how loyal he actually is- he’s uber loyal, but he doesn’t expect the same level of loyalty out of you? Like, just, he knows that you’ll find other people attractive and he understands you might… you know- want to pursue some sort of sexual interest with them (So, he doesn’t mean you’re a cheater, just that, people are hot and he’s leaving it open on your side)-

 Which is either super insulting or super sad to you, it’s up to you. He mentions a lot (in his own way) that he’s fine if you go off and have a one night stand with someone else, but he’ll get all serious all of a sudden and it is terrifying because he’ll suddenly hover two inches away from your face with that bitchy look he gets when he’s salty about something and straight up be like: “don’t make it a thing though.”

And he’ll go back to laughing and joking with you like nothing happened- What the fuck, Nyarl????? 

Please don’t “cheat” on him tho, it takes a lot for him to even care enough about someone to be a little less of an asshole to them let alone get into a relationship with them. So, he’s pretty attached to you

He doesn’t really believe in the concept of love, but after you two have been together for so long- you’re the closest thing that he’s getting to love, dude, and he kinda hates it???? It’s all fuzzy and he’s warm inside and if you get sad? And it’s his fault? Insta death. 

But he likes you too much to let you go, so, aw well, guess he can put up with it

Surprisingly, a possessive boy- he doesn’t like people talking to you for long periods of time and he’ll get salty if you seem like you’re having more fun with one of your friends then you do when you’re with him; just give him a lot of cuddles and smooches when you get home and he’ll forgive you immediately as he wraps you up in a big ol’ bear hug with his arms and his weird tail hand things will totally join in and wrap themselves around whatever they can grab, which is a really cute gesture that can become awkward really fast depending where they decide to grab

SPEAKING OF HIS WEIRD ASS TAIL HANDS- you’ll have to deal with them having semi-sentience and seeking you out whenever they can and witnessing Nyarl legitimately yell at them over it

It’s so surreal- and honestly, you’re with Nyarl, you should have accepted this by now but- to see him grab his tail in a choke hold and bring up the hands to his face as he tells them to knock it off and then one just reels back and slaps him across his snout, which instigates him slapping the hand back, and they start having an elementary school level slapping fight until one of them hit the other too hard and they’re making grabby hands for you because they got hurt-

And then you gotta kiss their boo-boos 

Also RIP your ass’ personal safety because those hands like to grab it and you’ve almost died a couple of times because they do it out of nowhere

Nyarl will kiss you spontaneously and out of nowhere. There is no preparing for his smooches they just come and go like the wind

Though he does give you a lot of pecks, his favorite types of kisses are french kisses because he likes it nasty 

Since he is passionate about his work you’ll have to remind him to eat and drink water and take breaks because he gets wrapped up in his work a lot- which he really appreciates and if you do the same thing, then you bet your ass that he’ll get you to take breaks because he refuses to let go of you as he hugs and showers you in kisses- at those times it’s soft Nyarl hours

He has no understandings of personal space so he’ll just… always be in your bubble and you have to really convince him to get out of it if you need some space

 If you two ever get in a fight, Nyarl is literally the worst person about it because, not only is he petty, but he’s also, well, Nyarl- so he’ll definitely come off as he’s not caring what’s made you upset by keeping that easy grin on his face and shooting off into crazy ass tangents, but that’s his way of trying to lighten the mood, which has mix results depending how important the topic is to you

He’ll get serious the more the argument drags on and how emotional you’re getting about it

Off of those topics, his ideal date is taking you to a club, but one that’s super fancy and has a VIP floor so you two can dance and be in each others presence and chat while feeling the bass of the music

When Nyarl gets jealous he becomes more sporadic than he already is. Which is a sight to behold because a majority of the time  he’ll somehow cause the conversation to steer back to the person and cause them to put their foot in their mouth. But if he ends up encountering that one person that can actually keep up with his mind games, he’s not above just warping their ass somewhere- which you’ve gotten mad at him before about, because oh my lord, Nyarl, you can’t just do that- 

Dating him means that you’re going to be listening to music 25/8, he likes all genres but when he’s at home, he prefers chill, atmospheric music like Lo-Fi

NSFW 

AMAB USED

(Dom Nyarlothotep)

Subs rejoice! For this man (hyena???) is a Switch leaning Dom! So, he’ll definitely be taking over when you both first have sex

He’s a tad aggressive about it since he’s super eager to get at it, so if it’s your first time, you’ll have to remind him to slow down- which he will, but you’ll have to remind him periodically

This is one of the times where he doesn’t get all pissy with his tails for just grabbing you- they like to grip at your thighs the most and if, he’s laying on top of you, they’ll be caressing your sides and fondling anything that they could get their hands on

He’ll also use them to keep your legs open if you get embarrassed and try to close them because this boy likes to S T A R E at your erection standing proud, he gets a weird trip from it, like yeah, he did that to you (but that’s if you’re in a place where you can be on your back without someone just walking in on you two)

He’s a mega tease, especially out in public, so he’ll drag you into an alleyway and push you against the wall and press his body hard against you (no matter if you’re taller or shorter than him) he’ll run his tongue over your neck and the shell of your ear, scraping his canines against the hollow of your neck as he grinds against your erection through your jeans. He’ll make sure you can hear the low groans he’s letting out as he rolls his hips, grabbing your ass in his hands to bring you flush against his hips. He’ll start whispering filthy words into your ear, riling you up as you grab against him and bite your lip to get from making noise

He’s really good at giving oral

If he gives you a blow job, you’re gonna be blissed out by the end of it. He has a long tongue so he’ll start just under the head of it, before he moves to cover the tip of it and lap at the slit with the tip of his tongue, then he’ll bring you into his mouth, mindful of his teeth, but he isn’t above scraping them against your shaft. He doesn’t really have a gag reflex so he has no problem taking you all the way into his throat while he bobs his head while he sucks you off. He’ll also utilize his hands and play with your balls while he sucks you off

When he gives a rim job HE GOES O F F

So, get ready to hold on fam, because you’re in for a ride. He’ll have you put your ass up while he’s nipping at the meat of your ass before he begins to use the flat of his tongue to lave long licks over your twitching hole; soon he’s pressing his tongue into you and groaning at the way you taste on his tongue

When he’s fingering you, he’s mindful of his claws, but he has a tendency to… scare you??? It’s not even that he means it (or so you hope) he just goes f a s t, so sometimes he’ll push against you and you’ll feel them brush a tad to close for comfort on the walls of your ass, but he’ll make you forget about it real quick because, you don’t know what type of fancy fingers this bitch has but he finds your prostate in a snap. And he’ll focus on it because he likes seeing how much of a mess you become when he does-

He’s also extremely thorough about his fingering, so expect to cum at least once from it 

When he’s finally going to press his dick into you, he’s really talkative, even if that talkative is just him whispering filth into your ear, and he’ll rub his tip against the rim of your asshole before he presses into you and sheathes in one thrust (hence why he stretches you so thoroughly)

He’s very vocal in general, a lot of low grunts and moans if your doing some good old exobistionism, but in the privacy and the comfort of your own home, you’d think that you were getting fucked by a porn star: loud moans, extremely talkative, cursing galore, groans, whimpers- the whole shabang

If you have a vocal kink RIP you, bro, because he uses it to his advantage

When he’s topping, his favorite positions are either: pressing your face to the wall while he has a death grip on your hips or doggy style. He has a bit of a dom/sub kink in him

He B I T E S. Really hard. So, if you need him to real it in, he’ll try, but no promises

I suggest a safe word in general tbh

Also, after he cums in you, and if you guys didn’t use protection, he likes to watch it dribble out of you and then clean up with his tongue, so, just watch out for that

(Sub Nyarlathotep)

It takes… a bit of convincing for Nyarl to be the sub

He likes the high he gets off of domming, but, since he likes you so much, he’ll let you top 

He’s a pretty big pillow princess tho, so he’ll definitely act like a brat

You know when I mentioned that he’s really loud as a dom? Well, he’s even louder as a sub

If you give him a blowjob he’ll be really vocal about it and it’s one of the few times that you’ll hear him stutter, especially if you deepthroat him. He will be in bliss, and pray you got a good grip on his hips because he’ll thrust into your throat if you don’t watch it

Nyarl is incredibly neutral on rim jobs but he won’t say no to one

He’ll probably be giggling the entire time as he presses against your mouth. He likes his taint being licked at though

Fingering Nyarl is a fun thing to do because he straight up will buck his hips so hard on your fingers that he’s basically fucking himself on them. He has no chill

He likes positions where he’s still on top despite being penetrated, so, think cowgirl/reverse cowgirl; he feels much more comfortable about being in control of the pace and how hard the sex is

When you do penetrate him, he’ll let out a long moan that turns into a growl and he might overwhelm you a bit as he just starts bouncing on you. But, you get to watch the concentrated face he makes as he works himself up and down on your shaft

He still bites as a sub

So, again, safe word

(After Sex)

Nyarl has a tendency to just know out after sex

So it’s kinda up to you to initiate aftercare, which he’ll find very sweet if you do and will probably tease you for it, but he won’t complain

He is all up for cuddles though, he likes being little spoon, and on the off chance he has enough energy to talk, he’ll have some pillow talk with you

He’ll probably just hum as you whisper to him, but he’ll put a few words in here and there

After sex Nyarl is just compleletly different to normal Nyarl because he got out a lot of that pent up energy he has. He’s actually really cute like this??? 

He adopts a whole baby enigma energy when he drifts to sleep in your arms

[lemonietrinket]

Broken Crown ||| Prince!San x Reader

Summary: San receives a present from the leader of his kingdom’s governing body that turns his life upside down, and not for the better. His only comfort in life has been you, and now that comfort is being taken away from him. Genre: angst, bits of fluff with a happy ending  Warning(s): big sad, description of an item of clothing thrown out of frustration (not at or in front of anyone, there is no one nearby at the time); foul language (2x f**k) Word Count: 3037 Song(s): Ambience AN: well im here hurting myself with this... hope its not too angsty anon (i cant find your ask tho idk where its gone) happy (slightly late) birthday to my boi san! :))

fem!reader royalty au

~~~

Rocks sank to the bottom of his stomach as San’s entire body flushed ice cold, and then fire hot. Eyes unblinking he peered round at the sea of smiles, their sincerity leaving him reeling. It was as if his head had been submerged in a pool of twilight sea water, the sun’s warmth leaving it lukewarm and dark, forcing his eyes to sting and glaze without even his full knowledge.

It wasn’t until he spotted the widened eyes of his cousin, far down at the other end of the table, that he realised something was wrong. 

“Oh I can’t wait to see the two of them down the aisle!” 

“She’s a real catch, Sannie! You’re so lucky!”

“Aww, look, he’s so overcome with emotion he’s—!”

“Oh my baby is growing up so fast!”

The world span and words merged into one inconceivable mass as San turned. A thick silence permeated his mind, flooding it with nothing but heaviness; the sound of his fleeing footsteps, the echo of confusion behind him, even his own heartbeat—all swallowed up.  The only thing that pierced it was a high tone clatter, accented by a delicate crack and the shattering of glass. 

Tripping up the stairs, his ankle twinging as he went, he broke through the doors to his room, where he came to an abrupt stop. The doors slammed behind him out of the sheer power he’d shoved them open, and as the adrenaline began to phase his brain back into control, he stood heaving.  While fury flourished through his chest, gentle caresses graced his cheeks, painting them flushed when the two met at his throat. The unstoppable heat met numbing cold, and it was as if his throat became carved of hot stone. He was teetering on the edge of screaming, but having silenced himself, all he felt was the urgent threat of bursting. 

Seeing no way out through his lips, his hands began wrenching off his numerous layers of clothing. The heat was too much to handle, yes, but feeling the silk burn through his fingers, and then watching the embroidered jewels scarper across the room as he flung them was a release in itself. Enough of one to allow the ice to cascade through him. 

A shallow, creaking breath poured from him as he frantically followed where his coat had gone. Chewing on his lips, his hands felt around the fabric, still intact minus a few embellishments that had been torn off in his outburst. 

No no... no no no...!

His gaze darted across the varnished crystalline floor, desperate to catch a glint, a twine of thread. With the quartz patterning blurring and yet somehow shining as if possessed, he had no clue if the words were coming from him out loud or were just in his head. There was no way for him to be sure, as days prior everything that had coalesced in a matter of seconds had been nothing more than a nightmare.

Tears trapped themselves between his eyelashes, leaving the world around him in the state of a dream, until he finally gave in. Wiping his eyes  with the side of his fist, clenched and weakening, he sucked in air carefully. It felt too humid in his lungs and did little to quell the urge to succumb completely, but it was enough to hold it down for just a few more moments. And peaking up between his fallen fringe, that was all he needed.

He threw himself at the doors to the balcony, hands tugging at the handles until they finally broke open, and the outside greeted him.

It was an abrupt change, freezing wind slapping him in the face and grasping at every inch of bare and clothed skin it could get its hands on, but he could breathe.  The shock stunted the tears long enough for him to clear his eyes properly, his murky salmon dress shirt—too loose to actually be comfortable and yet still restrictive at the shoulders firmly placing it as his least favourite piece of clothing he was routinely told to wear—finally serving a purpose he agreed with.

The heels of his palms collided with the stone balcony and sent a small hum of pain through his throat, though he paid no mind to it. His attentions were much more focused elsewhere—that being scouring the gardens below, the canopies of the trees beyond, and finally the lights of the city in the further distance. To his annoyance the damp air, enrolled to be the welcome mat for an oncoming storm, decided to shirk its duties and mess with his hair enough so he couldn’t see. Though what shook him up even more and truly beckoned the suffocating feeling to return was the absence of your silhouette. 

It took all the willpower in him left to resist calling your name into the dark. As time went on however, the more he began to worry that he wouldn’t even be able to anymore, if he could. Becoming frantic, he slapped his hand against the stone and cursed. Once then twice, and then again and again until he slumped over the edge. The stone dug into his rib cage, leaving him even shorter of breath than he already was.  He let his eyes fall closed, a whimper leaving his lips, leading him to press them straight and firm. San needed to stay together in one piece, and with the cold bringing an onslaught of reality checks in his head, the more he realised he needed to not behave any worse. But his tether was running short.

Luckily, the respite arrived in a matter of moments, and though they may have felt like hours, the ache of waiting soon washed away as warmth reached his side upon the balcony, and the scent of the wild world below was brought to him. 

Despite your hands being carved from days of work you always held him so tenderly, as if never wanted to let him go—and for once, not in a precious gem kind of way, but more in the sense of a memory. A story from years before that never failed to bring a smile to your face. One that meant nowhere else felt like home but with him. 

He didn’t really know how you got up onto his balcony, without alerting the guards or making the slightest of noises. Nor did he know truly where you were from. It wasn’t like you hadn’t told him—oh, he’d asked you about your life thousands of times and you’d complied in answering every single time with a content smile on your lips—it was just that he had no context to it. You told him of the streets and the lamp-lights, the cheers of the evening and cries of the night, the merchants and the bakeries and the patrols barely on watch, the docks and the promises it held of the future, a new world. But San had never been, so how could he ever fully understand and know of your past, when he knew very little outside his own upbringing? These were the things he lamented when the moon began to sink and you ushered him to finally rest, pointing out that he was moping again.

Your voice was as gentle then as it was now minus the mischievous tones, pressing hushes into his messy hair at your jaw while you cradled him to your chest. 

“Shh, my love, it’s ok. Everything’s ok.”

Hands clutching at your leather jacket, ribbed with gashes that even you couldn’t place, he let himself relax. In your arms, his sobs spilled out so much quieter than they had done before, and his shaking slowly came to an end when they could have easily continued long into the night.  Sat upon the stone floor with you, his problems seemed to drift away. He almost wished you weren’t as sensible sometimes, and that you’d let them pass. That way he could stay there in silence wit you for longer, just listening to the beat of your heart and how it aligned with his. 

It couldn’t happen however, he had to face the consequences at some point, and when you slowly lifted his head to meet your gaze, he knew there was little he could do about it. 

Your motions were met with a disgruntled pout as the boy you fell in love with—now old enough to rule a kingdom without an Aide—wiped his eyes and blinked at you, happy to wordlessly pretend that none of that had happened. 

“Happy birthday, Your Highness,” you teasingly greeted, cupping his hallow cheeks so you could trace shapes into his temple. Your face instantly fell when his did, however, and you realised that you’d struck a nerve. “Sannie, what’s happened? I haven’t seen you this upset in months.”

His gaze dropped as his head did. Your hand didn’t chase him, instead you settled it upon his own, balled between you against the floor. “San?”

“She promised me, Y/N,” he finally began, swallowing thickly, “she promised me and she broke it in a day. It meant nothing to her.”

“Her?” you enquired. “Your mother?”

He shook his head languidly and you could feel his fingers tense between yours. “The Chair. The Chair—she promised my status would be nowhere in any agreement in the trade talks and the—she fucking lied! Next week—with all fucking expenses paid for by the government no less—I... she—a-and she did it on my birthday! Told it to me now, gave it to me as a gift, so now there is absolutely no way I can refuse her! She did this on purpose, Y/N, she knows what she’s doing, she wants me over there for something and I... I don’t want to play her... her games—!”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” you breathed, stroking his white knuckles, “take it easy. What did she do, San? What’s happening next week, where are you going?”

“I’m getting married.”

His abrupt words stunned you into a paralysis. No breath left your lungs, there was no flicker of your fingers. It was like you became a statue. 

“She’s married me off, Y/N. To this princess from Lontaiko no less. I won’t be here after it, I’ll move away, and then I’ll be completely at her mercy.” San glanced up at you, meeting your glazed stare with a sigh ridden with guilt—as if he had any choice in the circumstances. The sight of you without your smile was enough to make his heart sink, and so witnessing the colour drain from your cheeks and your touch go limp forced him to blink back tears once again. 

He pulled your rigid hand to his lips and planted a kiss to your fingers. It brought you back to reality, throat dry and eyes wet, but his touches left your heart aching, his wound now a part of you too. And it tore your heart gradually apart, one thread at a time. 

“Why?” you finally managed, gripping onto his hands almost as desperately as he’d done before. 

He spat a laugh of disbelief. “’Peace’, she said. ‘Peace’.”

You scoffed a weak laugh, hiding your face within the shadows cast from soft candlelight behind. San didn’t let you go, his lips soft at your skin, trying to stay strong and encourage you that it would all be fine but you could feel in the caution of his movements that he didn’t believe it either. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I’m sorry I didn’t put up more of a fight, I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to be king—”

“I love you,” you finally whispered, words fragile and very nearly swept by the wind. 

His lips fell still. It was far from the first time you had told him, as every time the moonlight shone upon the two of you, the words kissed the night. Now, however, was different. Seeing you so curled in on yourself reminded him of the first time you had confessed to him. 

A few nights had passed without a single flicker of your silhouette, no curl of the blossoms and brine that melded with you. He’d let it slip first, all doe-eyed and lips pursed amongst multitudes of pillows, waiting for his first kiss that you would bestow upon him. You had rushed an apology, brushing your lips against his forehead in a promise before fleeing.  Every time the moon then rose he waited while dread trickled through his veins, until you finally returned. Your voice seemingly stolen and hands wrung together, gemstone eyes avoiding his at every cost while you waited on the wrong side of the balcony. You’d given him such a fright when he finally spotted you through the bronze embroidered windows—the first time because he couldn’t tell it was you, the second because you could have slipped and fell at any moment, perched where you were.

As soon as he joined you outside, he’d rambled about how worried he had been, not even trying to temper his volume. 

You’d interjected him suddenly, “Can I kiss you properly?” 

He’d been silenced immediately. And then between a small scowl, a pout and the puffing of his cheeks, he’d huffed, “Yes.”

You hadn’t relaxed until he’d held you, lips meeting in the golden haze of the torches that danced with the silver of a crescent moon. 

It pained him to see you in such a way now, for all the wrong reasons. Reasons that couldn’t be helped, he reminded himself, his thoughts possessing a snarl and leaving the pit of his stomach broiling, nothing can ever be done... right...?

Shifting his weight, he raised himself so he was even with you, before at last holding you close. Your hands sprung into action to clutch at his back as he did so, your head nestling into his shoulder while your breaths became shallow. Nose pressed into your hair, he kissed your head as you begged him, “Please don’t leave me, San. Please, please don’t leave me.”

His eyes narrowed as he stared at his bedroom. The grandiose sweeping canopies of his bed curtains, light peach and without a speck of dirt. The hard floor that was always cold to his bare feet without fail, and too hard to welcome him home after a long day of duties. The emptiness of the room’s vast expanse, adorned with nothing but elegant plants twisted around veiled sticks to force them to grow how the keepers’ wished.  His eyes changed focus then, coming to glare at the dull reflection in the glass. The faded lines of his hands stroking your back, his intense expression, all stared right back at him, as if in challenge.

And something inside him snapped.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Upon the day of the wedding, after a week of flurried throngs of people and preparations being made, just after the clock chimes sang for seven o’clock, a single member of staff sped through the long corridors to the palacekeep at the very end. Minutes later, he marched with her in tow through to the King’s bedroom, where they found the monarch working at his desk, a bright grin upon his face.

At exactly 7:08, as the sun beamed down upon the kingdom of Silarrean—nestled between the rises of two valleys, neighbour to the realm of Lontaiko— the King fainted. 

When the shadows of the sundials met the halfway mark for that same hour, those same persons that dotted the palace halls like bees within a hive, made up the crowds of search parties pushed to scour every inch of the city at the castle’s feet. 

Within days, the Silarrean Prince San, who the Chair had announced to all the people was destined to marry the delightful youngest daughter of the Lontaikan royal family, was officially declared missing. The wedding was called off, though the King ordered no cease in the search. 

It would prove null, however. The young prince was long gone.

Not that San knew of any of what was occurring back in the place where he had once lived. He could imagine it happening though, the images in his mind that hazy vivid that always accompanied him when he let his mind wander upon things he’d never known.

Leaning out to stare into the distance across the ocean waves, the boat proved to have a balcony of its own. This time though he was on the other side of it, and the correct one too: the one that actually involved living how he wished.  He ran his fingers across the crown between his hands, the edges of silver carved into entwined laurels still sharp, and he knew he couldn’t wait for them to become rounded with age. He found he kept returning to the centrepiece, with its intricate feathers tinged with blue and the cracked azure gemstone in its centre. The split was shaped like a lightning bolt, and it brought a smile to his face, thinking of just how much of an impact he made upon the world around him. It symbolised how he would never return, and that they could neither replace him. He had taken very little with him, but the crown was his birthright, and so he would take it with him, but also leave its life behind. 

Stood by the helm, you watched over him carefully. You would have joined him, but someone needed to steer. The small boat was only a relic, you’d been surprised that it even moved at all. The adrenaline, that had left your heart in your mouth when the rudimentary engine had coughed and spluttered on the night of your grand plan, had long since died down. It remained on the edge of your conscience, ready to cascade through your veins when you needed it. And you were well aware that on the route you were taking through life you were definitely going to need it. Until then though, you relished in the salt of the sea and the calm waters that the rising summer brought for you.

It didn’t matter after all, what would come. You’d find a way, as you were together, and you were both free. 

~~~

an: i feel like this would work better as a longer piece, where the process of the week is followed, with more depth of lore and stuff but ill be honest with you, it took a lot of effort for me to write this in the first place. not because the idea wasnt my thing (far from it—this stuff is my shit) but because my creativity just doesnt like cooperating sometimes.  maybe one day.

also what do you think of my new paragraph break thing? i think its cute. much easier to implement than the photo ones for sure.

all names of places are fictional  

Masterlist

[bellasharifuddin]

The Day I Became a Mother

It’s been a while since I last post anything here, typing feels awkward as well. But this has always been a thing that I wanted to do since the day I’ve given birth, to document and blog about my pregnancy and my birth journey, so in 4-5 years to come when my memories fade, I can always come back to reminisce every detail that I keep here, like a memory capsule. 

The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant. 

You know, when people say that when you have a strong intuition about something, trust your gut feeling, because it’s often true. Mirin and I have always talked about having kids, me wanting a baby so much within months after we got married, however, Mirin having second thoughts about it. We were both married for less than a year, sleeping on a toto without a mattress or a bed, living in the deep slum of Wangsa Maju area where the rats are larger than the cats. Hahaha. Naturally, given our circumstances, he’d want to take things slow. 

Fast forward to a couple of months, we went out for some steaks and karaoke on a weekend night. I told mirin to stop by Watsons, for me to buy a pregnancy test kit. Mirin didn’t question much, because occasionally I would randomly buy one, just for fun. But this time, I didnt just get one. I ended up buying three. Why? Because somehow, I had a strong feeling this time. I just felt... weird. It was a feeling that I can’t put it into words. 

We came home at midnight, I went to the bathroom too “pee on the stick”. Then I saw the first line... a few seconds later comes the second one. Oh my god. Okay. I knew Mirin was standing outside the toilet door, waiting. Eventually, I had to break the news to him. When I showed to Mirin, we both ended up hugging and crying. Was I happy? Was I in shock? Was I sad? Yes, a little bit of everything. Its funny that all you’ve wanted was a baby, then when it actually happens, suddenly you’re freaked out. Happy that its a blessing. Sad that it hits you without a warning. 

                                                      Pregnant!

When the morning sickness finally kicked in, I knew we couldn’t live in the current house. Its not the best place to raise a child. And the next-door neighbor was having major renovation that was super loud and noisy. After sleepless nights and searching for a new place, we eventually moved out. Bought our first bed, bought our first dining table, bought our first gas stove. A many of firsts. Soon we finally bought a baby cot from Ikea. We bought it too early. Although it was too early to put it up, but Mirin assembled it anyways. I could tell that he was excited. It was such a fun and exciting moment, for the both of us.

But those were the fun part. Like most pregnancies, the not so fun part about being pregnant was me being diagnosed with Pregnancy Hypertension during my 36th week of pregnancy. My blood pressure spiked up to 140/100 on two consecutive readings, and the next thing I know, that I’m sitting in an ambulance, on my way to Hospital Kuala Lumpur’s emergency building. 

                     At Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting for an available bed

                  Mirin bought me the entire family mart food available xD

I spent 3 nights in their maternity wards, finally discharged after the doctor told me that I was clear to go. While I was in the hospital, it pains me to see new mothers struggling during the COVID19 pandemic. Throughout your stay, no visitations were allowed from anyone including your husband. If your baby cries or if you’re in pain, you’d have figure it out yourself. I remember praying to god while crying that I do not want to be induced there. The ward was stuffy and hot. There were too many people crammed in a room. It was hell. 

The Day That I Give Birth

One week after my discharge, we both went for my monthly checkup with my OBGYN at Pantai. Again, my doctor advised me to be induced tomorrow, since my blood pressure spiked again, and I was almost full term (38 weeks) so it was okay to go. She told me that “It’s best to get the baby out or else you boleh kena sawan” OMG Okay okay. So we packed our bags, ate sushi for dinner, slept soundly for the very last time, and headed to the hospital again at 9 am the next morning. 

                         Induction day. We definitely overpacked haha

       Arrived at the hospital lobby, did a mandatory swab test before entering

Appointment card. Booked and paid for the accommodations prior to checking in

I was told to change into my labor robe (I’m not too sure what it’s called), and waited. When my doctor finally arrived, she then began to insert some sort of a plastic strip deeeeeep into my cervix. Ouch, that hurts. Okay, so that’s how induction works eh? Then I was given antibiotics into my IV drip too, since I was GBS (Group-B Strep) Positive as well. 

                                Toilet selfie! Calm before the storm

After an hour, I felt the contraction. Initially it was uncomfortable, then it hurts like hell. The contractions felt like period pain but like a million times worse. Occasionally, Doctor Haslinda would come and check on my “bukaan”. Hours passed. 1cm... 2cm... 3cm.... when I finally said:

“Omg sakit sangat dah tak tahan, I want an epidural!“

Ok no, that was a lie. I initially didn’t want to take an epidural. I wanted to try and bear with the pain, but Mirin convinced me to take it, so after tossing and turning like a dying fish I finally said okay. 

The anesthesiologist came after what felt like an eternity, and asked me to sign a consent form. I’m not really sure what was written in that. Siapa je ada masa nak baca terms and conditions panjang panjang bila tengah contractions??? 

He told me to sit on the edge of the bed, while hugging a pillow. I remembered him injecting some numbing spray, then I felt the BIG NEEDLE poking through my spine. Then.. that was it. It was so fast. The entire process took only 5 mins. Was it painful as I thought it would be? No. Was it still scary tho? Yep hahaha.

Soon after, Dr Haslinda pecahkan air ketuban when I was 4cm dilated. It didnt hurt because I was on epidural, but I felt so much warm liquid flowing out non-stop. So bizarre. 

Once you’re on epidural, you’re basically bed-ridden. No bathroom trips anymore, my legs feel like jelly. Sometimes the nurse will come to empty my bladder with a catheter. When the epidural kicked in, I could finally sleep. I slept like a baby. I slept for hours. Painless. No more feeling like a dying fish. And so I thought.............

3am. I woke up with INTENSE CONTRACTION PAIN. Why is it so painful? I thought I’m on epidural? I called the nurse straight away. Turned out the epidural drug ran out. It was sooo stressful because the nurse that was on duty that night didn’t know how to topap balik the epidural drug into the machine. She called her colleague, then the colleague also tak tahu. Then both of them spent like forever to troubleshoot how to use the machine, sampai lastly kena call doctor tanya. YA ALLAH, rasa macam nak maki je. 

7am the next day. Bukaan baru 7-8cm. Doctor decided to use another form of induction to speed up the process. It’s called pitocin, and injected through my IV drip. Within MINUTES, I could feel very intense and painful contractions, that the epidural can’t even help. So throughout the remaining 7cm to 10cm, I felt every inch of real labor pain. I clenched Mirin’s hand. So tightly that I think it got bruised. A minute felt like an hour, and an hour felt like years. It was soo bad that my memory was so fuzzy. 

Finally, it was 10cm. Time to go. They put both of my legs up, macam gambar bawah ni haha: 

                                      Picture courtesy from Google

There were two nurses, one small cute Malay nurse, one pregnant Indian nurse, and my OBGYN, Dr Haslinda. I love them all, they were so supportive and nice to me throughout my labor process. My doctor taught me how to push correctly:

“Take a deeeeeeep breath then tahan, clench your fists, chin down and teran macam nak berak sekuat-kuat hati“

I was so determined to get the baby out. I just wanted the contraction pain to end. I did everything they told me to do. I hold on to Mirin’s hand, and PUSHHHHHHHEDDDDDD! I could hear Mirin saying “You’re doing great sayang!” After several pushes, and some sips of water breaks, the baby’s head is almost out. The head was the hardest to push. Besar! I literally felt like my down there was stretching to its limit. Once the head is out, I did another small push, and the rest of the baby’s body macam keluar instantly macam super slimy like that haha. 

Finally the baby is out! 8.26AM! The contractions stopped immediately. I instantly feel like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The doctor then injected something on my thigh, then my uri just popped right out haha. My body felt so tired, but so so light. Lega, yay no longer pregnant haha. I ended up having second degree perineal tear without an episiotomy, and was stitched. I felt the benang, ngilu. I felt the needle pierced through my muscles too. But it didnt hurt so it wasn’t too bad. 

The baby gets cleaned up. Then soon all of the nurses left the labor room, it was just me, Mirin and our baby. Mirin picked her up, and azankan. Mirin started crying, I cried too. It was magical :’)

We did skin to skin and tried breastfeeding for the first time. As I look at her, hair was so thick. Her cute little fingers. Her beautiful face. She’s perfect. 

                            I slept for 5 hours straight after the labor

Thinking back, I have no idea how I managed to muster such courage to go through all these. Mirin even told me that during the active labor stage, when I was pushing, at one point I pushed so hard that my entire face turned blue. Talk about adrenaline.

Do I want to have another baby? Well, lets keep a rain check on that question for another few more years to come xD

[dreammutual-remade]

best friends to lovers!lucas

request: ok ur SO FUNNY when i was reading ur hyunjin scenario i almost pissed my pants istg ur fckin hilarious !! and could you do like a best friends to lovers type trope with lucas from nct? love ur writing and please go nuts my guy <3 <3 - @nctro​

word count: 3.7k

a/n: djfhgkhdj thank u sO MUCH everyone who compliments me on here makes me blush dhbfkhsbdk anywhom I actually enjoyed writing this so much mainly because I love big dumb boys and Lucas is one of those !!!! I hope u like it bby<3

warnings ?: cursing and brief mentions of underage drinking 

okie doke babe

l e t s d i v e i n

let’s set the scene fellas

you’re in like the second grade right

boys are: disgusting and mean

but this is when you meet your bestie !!!!!

lucas was a new kid all the way from china and he was , the only boy you’d ever found cute

(i mean y’all have seen those baby pics oh my gOD HE WAS SO CUTE)

and when the teacher introduced him he was obviously a bubbly kid but none of the others in your class seemed to warm up to him

:((((

later when you all are at recess he keeps trying to join the boys but they won’t let him because as previously stated

THEYRE MEAN AND GROSS

he looks so so sad and lonely and you’re a Sweet Baby Girl so you go up to him and ask if he wants to play w/ u :)))

he’s so excited !!!! hooray !!!!!!!!!!

you guys play house and BAM

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

your friendship lasts all through elementary school !!

even in fourth grade when you guys were in different classes he would come find you at recess and your moms would arrange play dates :))))

middle school was,

middle school

we don’t talk abt that

all you need to know is that it was embarrassing

and yeehaw we’ve made it thotties aLL THE WAY TO SENIOR YEAR

let’s do a brief summary of 9th-11th grade

9th grade:

lucas is taller than you but only by a little and his voice breaks every other sentence

his ears are still too big for his body :(

you are a late bloomer and still look 12 but you’re , TRYING YOUR BEST

you guys have about half of your classes together but remain really close since you eat lunch together and hang out after school too

lucas attempts to join the basketball team

he . doesn’t make it and is v upset so you have to come over and comfort your Pitiful Man Baby

he cries a little and ouchie yOUR HEART hurts

but then he’s like u never saw that THOT

and so you are forced into silence rip

10th grade:

lucas FINALLY gets his permit halfway through the year because he fuckinh forgot to do it last year and you’re TERRIFIED but it’s fine

you’re starting to look more like a female and less like a fetus congrats !!!!!

lucas has now grown to almost 6 feet tall what the FUCK BRO

he grew at least 6 inches over the summer and you don’t really notice until one day you’re like uhhh excuse me since when are you half a foot taller than me

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and this boy LORDS his height over you

purposefully places things where you can’t reach it so he can be like

*tips fedora* m’lady , are u in need of assistance

after this you have perfected the art of pinching his arm til he screeches

also his voice has gotten sooooo so so deep

like okay darth vader CHILL OUT

with all this height though he is even clumsier than before

it’s like he forgets he’s now a giant 15 yr old

he’s always covered in scratches and bruises so you’ve taken to carrying disney princess bandaids

they’re disney princess because you thought it would embarrass him and encourage him not to get hurt but

he loves them so it didn’t work rip

he tries out for the basketball team again and genuinely makes it based on height alone

i mean the boy can barely dribble but ??? he can learn i guess

he calls you when he makes it and screams for 45 seconds straight

you don’t know wtf goin on so you’re like oh mY GOD ARE U OKAY

and he’s like yES BITCH I MADE THE TEAM

and then you scream for 45 seconds

next time you see him in person you tackle him with a hug and he lifts you up and spins you around because wow !!!!! so happy !!!!

11th grade:

ah, yes

the year of PARTYING

you always go to parties together and switch who’s dd each time

eventually more friends start coming with you so that you can both get drunk tho ayy

but for the first couple times it’s either drunk lucas half draped on you as you drag him home or sober lucas carrying your lightweight ass to the car

he’s a real one so he won’t say anything about the time you were really drunk and got separated from him so you stood on a table and screamed his name til he came and snatched you down lmao

lucas has reached full height as well so he’s like, so much bigger than you

also he’s gotten so much better at basketball and is practically the star of the team

you go to every game and cheer as loud as you can bc that’s your BOY

puberty is Complete for you and you look female and everything!!!! go off queen 

lucas is now on Protective Mode since you’re really cute and a very agreeable drunk and under no circumstances will he allow you to be taken advantage of

NOT on my watch- lucas

alright we’re gonna make senior year the present timeline bc

YOLO

lucas is officially more popular than you

BUT

he actually sticks around because he’s The Best

okay also this guy just keeps getting larger

like he got all tall but THEN

he was doing basketball so much and just genuinely enjoyed doing sports in general that our boy was thicc with two(2) got damn c’s

you don’t notice that much until he gets into a habit of throwing you over his shoulder whenever you won’t pay attention to him

and it’s , unnerving how easily he does it

he’s started wearing shirts that show off his, eh hem, assets

long story short he’s hot as fuck and even you see him and you’re like DAYUM

also every female in your school is. ALL OVER HIM

it’s hard to walk next to him in the halls because people genuinely shove you out of the way to get next to him

at first you just kind of let it happen and he didn’t notice the first few times

that made u hella emo :(((((

but now he INSISTS upon holding your hand and dragging you behind him through the crowds

you highkey blush the whole time and everyone is all ArE yOu GuYs DaTiNg ?!/&:&:$

lucas is like NO.

:))))

ouchie

you start overthinking things because ??? would it really be so bad to be dating you jeez

you’re not terribly ugly or anything ???

at least you don’t think so

oh my god he thinks you’re ugly and annoying and he hates you

self hatred commence in 3,2,....... someone play the icarly theme song

you lowkey start distancing yourself and he himself is busy busy bee so

you start seeing less of each other :/

and you miss him soooo so much (this is your own doing BITCH) but it doesn’t even seem like he misses you at all wtf

he’s just having a great time w/ his basketball boy(friend)s and everyone loves him and you’ve been hashtag left behind :(

he really didn’t mean to he just !!!! has so much going on aaaa

and like in his absence you start realizing a lot of things

like how much you actually liked his cringey ass flirting

you would always smack him every time he was like “oh sorry, just got lost in ur eyes what did u say :3”

you miss his hugs because they were really rEALLY GOOD

he tucks you under his chin and squishes you or he’ll just wrap his arms around and pick you up

your feet just ???? dangle

you miss when he would show up at your house at like 11 with a bunch of shitty foreign films and force you to watch them with him

you miss when you both would fall asleep in a pile on the couch and he would wake up and carry you to bed

because he’s an angel THATS WHY

anywhom

you miss everything about him and you just are so upset that he doesn’t pay that much attention to you

it gets WORSE when you notice some other girl hanging out with him

and she’s prettier than you and apparently good enough for his attention when you aren’t and you’re just so full of

what’s the word

JEALOUSY.mp3

go listen to jealousy by monsta x

but obviously you’re not going to acknowledge that because what’s a good friends to lovers story without a hearty helping of denial

he still tries to hang out with you so you guys do see each other in class and at least a couple weekends out of the month but :(((

it’s nowhere near how close you were

it all comes to a head when one day you’re walking in the hall and it’s hella crowded

way worse than usual

and in the center of the crowd is

you guessed it :’-)

our boy yukhei

and he just asked this girl to the winter formal and she’s nodding and smiling and hugging him and he’s smiling too and you

gotta go

your eyes are already starting to water and you start skirting around the edges of the crowd to get to a bathroom

one of your other friends jeno who also plays with lucas on the team sees you and smiles and lifts his hand

but it immediately shifts into a frown when he sees your face

he reaches out to grab your wrist and asks if you’re okay and what’s wrong

you just bring your other hand up to sloppily wipe at your watery eyes and whisper that it’s nothing

the hand he’s got in his grasp has started to shake and he looks really worried so he tugs you around the corner until he doesn’t see anyone around

and he turns to look you in the eyes all Serious

“alright. spill”

and you just

BURST INTO TEARS

he panics and hesitantly puts an arm around your shoulders to pat your back

you just press your forehead into his shoulder and cry

it’s a short cry though because although we are dramatic out here we aren’t doing The Absolute Most

you pull away and wipe your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you apologize

jeno smiles sadly and pats your head and says it’s okay and that he hopes it helped

you stand there for 37 seconds exactly in silence

jenos been counting

and then you let the cat out of the bag

you adMIT FINALLY !!!!!

that you are really in love with your bff/sort of ex-bff and you’re really jealous and sad because he doesn’t even CARE about you anymore

at first jeno is quiet but then he starts laughing

and he won’t stop

and you’re like if you keep going i’m going to cry again please i’m so sensitive

and he shuts up immediately and is like o_o

but then he grips you by your shoulders and is like hEY

“guess what”

“god jeno i am really not in the mood”

“no for real guess what the fuck is up”

“what is up ???? what is up you asshole ???”

“yukhei is in love with you too”

you scoff and roll your eyes

“this is a really lame attempt to make me feel better”

“no really i’m not even lying i swear he talks about you all the time in the locker room and he literally thinks you’re an angel”

“okay but its platonic as hell like obviously we love each other after all these years but he doesn’t like ME in the way i like HIM”

“how do you know??”

“how do YOU know ?????”

“,,,,,, you got me there”

you pat his shoulder and you’re like listen i really appreciate you trying to make me feel better but it’s time for me to accept my fate

now you and lucas still text semi regularly and send each other memes and stuff

but you just, cut him off because you physically can’t move on if you interact with him at all you LOVE this boy

he def notices and texts you a few times like

y/n ??? hello? is your phone broken?

but when you stop waving back at him in the hallways and actively avoiding him he realizes you’re not talking to him

and this poor boy cannot for the life of him figure out why

he doesn’t UNDERSTAND

god he’s dumb but we still stan

he figures you want him to leave you alone so he just stares at your forlornly from afar

this just pisses you off bc like wtf nOW YOURE GONNA PAY ATTENTION TO ME ??????

a couple weeks pass and it’s time for winter formal

yay.

you’ve been dragged here by jeno who is SURE that something important is gonna happen tonight and lucas is gonna Fix Everything

yeah OKAY

SURE

you may not want to go but you wouldn’t be caught DEAD not stunting on these hoes

you show up looking absolutely SPICY

QUEEN OF WINTER

you know you had to do it to em

jeno forcefully pulls you into the doors of the gymnasium and then disappears after he threatens you with an

“i told chenle not to let you leave”

and you turn to look at chenle who is SGA and helping with the dance and he gives you an “i’m watching you” hand motion

god this is ridiculous

you sigh and go find some of your other friends

you hate to admit this but. you actually had a little fun

and then of course

a slow song was played

and the dj is all yo everyone find you a honey it’s time to slow it down for a bit

sigh

you go to walk off the dance floor or find jeno or do SOMETHING other than stand around looking awkward surrounded by couples

but someone has snatched your hand up yo wtf

it’s LUCAS

and you just look at him with confusion

“dance with me, please. just this once,,,”

and you’re like hmmm pls don’t make me do this

but he hits you with Them Puppy Dog Eyes and you’re a goner

so you let him pull you close and hold you against his chest and rest his chin on the top of your head

you lift up on your toes so you can talk in his ear

“where’s your date?”

“dancing with her girlfriend”

“um. what”

“she’s not super duper out yet so i’m being her beard for the night. it was mainly to get her parents off her back”

“oh. huh”

“plus i missed you :(((( you disappeared”

your hands tighten in the fabric of his button up bc you’re like aw FUCK

you just shake your head and rest it back on his chest and close your eyes to enjoy it while you can

as much as you want to be convinced that things can go back to the way they were now

they cANNOT because you still love him and he still just thinks of you as a friend

maybe not even a best friend anymore :(

(again,, YOUR FAULT BITCH)

his GIANT warm hands slide across your waist to press you forward by the small of your back

at this point you are pressed together basically head to toe

and you can’t tell for sure but , you think he kissed the top of your head ???

maybe you were freakin hallucinating though since you’re losing oxygen fast due to his close proximity

the song ends and you slowly stop swaying and pull apart while everyone gets back to being wild

“can we.. go talk outside”

this sentence strikes FEAR in your heart but you take his proffered hand as he leads you outside

it’s cold as hell so you’re already wound up tight and wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm

he notices quickly and wraps his jacket around you before turning to face outward towards the road

it’s quiet other than the muffled music from inside and crickets and other night noises

he opens his mouth to say something but you just blurt out

“i like you!!!!”

and he whips around to face you and you just. keep talking

“it’s oKAY i know you don’t like me back like that and i would never be mad at you about that i didn’t distance myself from you bc of that!!!! i just had to because it was hurting me to be around you and see you be with other girls and i really wanted to move on so that we could get back to being best friends if you even wanted that i just !!! IT JUST HAPPENED OKAy i’m sO SORRY AND I ComPLetely understand if you never want to speak to me again”

and he’s just staring at you and panting

why is he out of breath he’s just been standing there

you’re getting super duper nervous because he hasn’t said aNYTHING and it’s been at least a minute

and then he just goes

“you… like .. me ???”

and you’re like ugh YES you dumbass have you even met yourself you’re so cute and sweet and such a goofy boy and you’re way too nice to me and also HOT so like. you were asking for it

and he immediately swings you into his arms and gives you a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and buries his face in your shoulder and squeals

this man. SQUEALS

and you giggle because it’s tickling your neck hey stop that

and he’s laughing that loud ass cackle of his so you’re laughing too i mean have y’all heard that shit

GOOFY AS HELL

also he’s hugging you almost just like he used to with your feet dangling off the ground

and he pulls back to set you down but then

HE GRABS YOUR FACE

AND KISSES YOU  ??!/&8:$:$:92&

b i t c h

he’s so gentle and is patient when you kind of freeze at first, pulling away and pressing his lips very gently to the corner of your mouth before going Back In

and even though he’s given you NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS you kiss him back because this may be a one time only opportunity and you will NOT be wasting it 

he goes very slow and sweet and right before he pulls away he presses a cute lil smooch to your bottom lip and presses his forehead against yours

“what was that for?”

“oh yeah, i forgot to tell you!! i’m in love with you”

“oh hEY me too ??!!?!&/&”

and you’re both pressed together and giggling

“hey, you wanna ditch and go get some ice cream”

“absolutely”

so he lets his date know and you text jeno

(you: bIIIIIIIITTCHHHH    jeno: I KNEW IT)

and you’re off

he holds your hand the whole way there and when he parks he spRINTs around the car so he can open it for you

you each get an ice cream cone and sit next to each other at a picnic table and just talk and catch up with each other since you haven’t been talkin :/

one of your hands is laced with his and your head is leaned on his shoulder and he’s like hEY watch it this is my favorite shirt

and he flexes his arm with your head on it and you’re like god dAMN that’s a bicep

and he’s like ayy lmao arent u glad ur dating a greek demi god  🤪🤪

and you smack HIM

“i cant believe you just declared us as dating in the same sentence as calling yourself a greek demigod”

“are we ,,,, not dating”

“i mean personally, i haven’t gotten asked on a date yet. hmmmm, have you? :-)”

and he sighs dramatically before wrapping an arm around your waist and leaving a somewhat sticky kiss on your temple from the ice cream

he leans down to your ear

“hey so there’s this girl and her name is y/n and she’s so beautiful and funny and i love her so much do you think she would go on a date with me ? :3”

“hmmm well i guess so,,, she could give you a chance…..”

you hold a straight face for less than 5 seconds before you get all blushy and smiley and he squeals at you

......again

and grabs your face with his hands since he literally dEVOURED that ice cream cone

he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose and then to your lips and says against them,

“please~”

another kiss

“for me?~”

another

“cmon~”

and he goes in for another but you’re like oKAY okay i’ll date you you giant pain in my ass

and he’s like :-(((((((

(DONT BE MEAN TO THE BABY BOY)

and you’re like aw i’m sorry you’re MY giant pain in the butt

he seems pretty satisfied with that and after you finish your ice cream cone he is already at the door waiting with the door open

“if you dARE say m’lady i will walk home”

“of course ,,,,,,,,, m’lady”

“alrIGHT THATS IT”

he grabs your hand and pulls you back toward him to keep you from leaving and presses a kiss to your forehead and ruffles your hair a little

before he kindly and gently shoves you into the car

he drives home with one hand on the wheel while you mess with the fingers of his other hand because wow

that shit is amazing he’s got some big ole beautiful hands

when you arrive he walks you to your door and

this mf presses you against it and presses an absolutely SINFUL kiss onto your lips before turning around and heading back to his car

“bye, baby!! i’ll see u tmrw at school :-)))))”

and first of all: KKDKDNDKDJ

second: he called you baby it’s officially over for you bitch

you wave back blankly because what the hell just happened and then you go inside

you press yourself against the door after you close it behind you and press your hands into your warm cheeks

and woooo bOY what have you gotten yourself into

a supportive and caring boyfriend who LOVES YOU THATS WHAT !!!!!!!!

okay goodbye i really love wong yukhei xuxi lucas whatever the fuck his name is

[stvrmwitch]

50 Bookish Questions Tag!

Thanks to @enogreads for tagging me :)

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

All-time favorites are always a stretch for me because the books that matter most to me shift based on what I need at the time, but The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and We Are Okay are books that make me feel at home. And the child in me is saying, “don’t forget to mention the Wayside School books!” so you know, those too.

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

Maybe Deathly Hallows? gr says it’s 784 pages.

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

I don’t have a lot of interest in old books, but probably Gulliver’s Travels.

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

Divergent. Though my main frustrations are with the writing not the story I guess. Other than that I never caught onto the Percy Jackson train. Don’t hate it, just don’t love it. 

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

Ah yes. So many. Screenwriting is not something I’m pursuing but it’s a hobby, and everything I read gets the “could this be adapted” thought process. The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet would make a perfect limited miniseries, but could also be serialized based on the concept. Beauty Queens would be great as anything from a musical to a tv show to a movie to a comic book tbh. Ramona Blue has a “shot over a long weekend with unknowns and maybe one biggER name star who’s also producing” indie vibe. Ditto for We Are Okay. The Song of Achilles should be a miniseries as well; one of those massive budget, A-list cast, premium cable shows. I could go on, but I’ll spare you.

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

Ari + Dante

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

None I can think of. 

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

I feel somewhat guilty for not finishing The Dark Wife because it feels like I’m not showing wlw solidarity, but as much as I go hard for the concept, the execution was so disappointing to me.

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

Fun Home

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is the only one except for plays. Like I have Shakespeare anthologies plus some individual plays. And I have the off-Broadway and Broadway copies of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

11. What horror book made you really scared?

I don’t read horror!

12. What book do you passionately hate?

Ok so I’m like passionately not impressed by this book that I’m also lowkey obsessed with. It’s not good. Elements are but overall I don’t like it. but I’m just so intrigued that I’ve read it multiple times and made a million notes. It’s Fated by S.G. Browne. Every time I hope it will be less not good and it never happens.

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

There’s no way it’s not Harry Potter.

14. What book gives you happy memories?

On the Banks of Plum Creek 

15. What book made you cry?

Y’all I cry so easily. The Song of Achilles tho...... sobbed.

16. What book made you laugh?

When Dimple Met Rishi is really sweet and pure and I’ve literally lol’d a few times.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

Ramona Blue, currently. I’m also a big fan of The Sidhe.

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

Lmao aren’t they all... um yeah idk I just looked over at my bookshelf and one of my new faves is Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor.

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs. (The Barsoom tales were, like, a thing for me after I was assigned that one in college.)

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

Not really? I’m kinda keeping The Last Star at arm’s length because The 5th Wave was such a terrible movie and made my excitement for the series disappear. But I’m also trying to get over that because one shouldn’t necessarily impact enjoyment of the other.

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

Probably the Hunger Games. I really wanted to get them read before the movie came out and I couldn’t avoid spoilers. Plus my college roommate was reading them at the same time so it was a good time to squee together. So pressured, but not in a bad way.

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

Douglas Adams. Hitchhiker’s Guide has long been on my tbr but I’ve been itching to read it lately. 

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

Oscar Wilde.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

Just bought two last week, so now I have six.

25. How many books do you own?

dont make me admit that. More than I’ve ever properly budgeted for, let’s say that.

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

Save the Cat! My interest in screenwriting led me to it, but it’s a really useful tool for novelists as well and anybody telling stories.

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

Hmmm... The Little Prince perhaps.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

My library hold for Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari just came through this morning, so I’m going to get to that when I finish When Dimple Met Rishi.

29. What book are you currently reading?

When Dimple Met Rishi. So good. So sweet. And it features a girl in STEM wow amazing five stars for that.

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

Noooooooo. I just spent so much last week, and now that I’m apartment hunting, no more books. Tragic.

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

There’s a great used bookstore in Boston with an outdoor bargain area and I think I’ve picked up stuff for $3 and under.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

Alright. Y’all already might’ve peeped me revealing that back in the day I was superwholock garbage. WEll. I have this “The Essential Supernatural: On the Road with Sam and Dean Winchester” donkey ass book that is $50 and I probably got a little discount but still paid really close to that amount.

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

Big Fish. I’m genuinely astounded that that movie came from that book. Like, the leaps from page to screen y’all. 

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

these are all the books I bought at B&N last week

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

Radio Silence, The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter, and The Princess Diarist.

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

Ugh this is such a good question and here I am drawing a total blank.

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

Only some basic Spanish books when I took classes in middle and high school. Though my niece is in a bilingual program and brings home a lot of books with English and Spanish versions.

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen 

39. What book offended you?

WE ARE OKAY. ARE WE, NINA? ARE WE OKAY? nOPE

‘kay but I genuinely was offended because Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is compared to diner coffee and legit like.... no???????? Dunks never did nothin’ to you and ur rly gonna come for it like that??? ok, Nina. ur wrong, but ok.

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

Uhhh. Yet again, she draws a blank!

41. What is your favourite duology?

Isn’t Strange the Dreamer meant to be a duology? The second book’s not even out and that’s my favorite.

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

Answering this question, I’m realizing that I haven’t read many trilogies in my life. Definitely The Hunger Games though. I just gorged myself on all three during a weekend-long summer storm.

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

Wuthering goddamn Heights. I don’t even like that book, but the cover was phenomenal and I was like ok yeah Camille, let’s fkn do it

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

Aww that’s mean. I can’t think of any. I usually go for pretty covers and forget the rest. But I have the edition of Radio Silence with the cover I like less if that counts?

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

I don’t have an appreciation for poetry, sorry! I do own anthologies because I majored in English and had a writing concentration, but that’s literally the only reason I have them: they were assigned. So no favorite.

But since that seems lame and I haven’t been asked about short stories, I have a favorite from the 2013 Pushcart Prize XXXVII: Best of the Small Presses. It’s called “Juniper Beach” by Shannon Cain and it’s so wonderful. Really tight narrative woven together with zero snags along the way.

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

Nope. Really wanted the Fantastic Beasts one but my wallet said ho don’t do it and for once, I listened.

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

I do not own any, but -and this feels totally like someone else’s memories- when I was a teen, I was all over Harlequin historical romance books oh my god.

48. What book made you angry?

See #39. I put that book down for weeks over it and told everyone I knew about the slanderous lies within.

49. What book has inspired you?

Paint It Black and White Oleander both make me want to be that good of a writer. 

50. What book got you into reading?

Honestly my mother got me into reading, not any particular book, though imma single one out in a moment. Like my mom has literally never gone a day that I’ve been alive not spent reading. She got me started at the library young and I read my way through the whole children’s section. The Boxcar Children and the Baby-Sitter’s Club books were a big draw. And the one I’m singling out is On the Banks of Plum Creek which was a library discard. I read and reread that one about a million times. I’d loved books and reading but I’d never feasted on a book before that one. I never read the Little House series, my obsession was limited to that one book.

I’m tagging: @ozzery, @anassarhenisch, @midnightinkspill, @mariedtofiction, @rawr-booklover  @booksandsweettea, and @thewizard-ofbooks

As usual, if you’re tagged please feel no pressure to play! And if you’re not tagged and you wanna play, please go forth and do so!

[dirtyredtales]

Denver

The conference finally ended for the day. Eight hours of listening about identity theft, check fraud and taxes has given me a huge headache. I want nothing more than to shed this suit and head to the gym. If I have any prayer of staying awake during the dinner party, I need a good work-out to wake me up. I run to my room quick and change into my sports bra and running capris. I enter the state-of-the-art gym the hotel staff gushed about. There were a handful of other gym goers in the 3000sq ft space. I quickly jumped onto an open treadmill facing the city. The view from the 16th floor was amazing, the sun beginning to set behind the skyscrapers. A little P!nk on my iPod for motivation. I had just found my stride and starting to enjoy my solitude when I was startled by a guy jumping onto the machine next to me. I found myself a little embarrassed as I did a double take and slowed my run to fully grasp the situation. He was probably early 30's, dark brown hair, bright green shorts hanging low on his hips, tight white T-shirt clinging to his chest. He gave me a wide smile but paid no attention to my gauking and went on about his mission. I glanced around the gym and realized we we're the only ones now in the large space. I tried to focus on the task at hand but I couldn't help but steal a few glances his way. The scruff around his jaw and chin made me think of Adam Levine. I am a sucker for scruffy men. If he saw me sneaking peeks, he didn't let on and frankly he appeared to ignore me completely although he was literally a few inches away. I started the cool down phase of my work-out, walking now and wiping the sweat from my face and neck. It was then I felt his hand reach from behind me and rest on my forearm. I stiffened and slowly turned my head and shoulders to face him. Even though he was breathing heavy and covered in sweat, he smelled like heaven. A mix of man, heat and sun. He steped closer and pressed the stop button on my machine. His left hand slowly travelled up my arm and then down my side, resting with a very firm squeeze on my hip. The heat between my thighs was enough to melt my pants. What the fuck was going on and more importantly what was I going to do about it. He brushed his lips against the back of my neck sending shivers down my back and immediately making my nipples very hard. The words we're simple, "I think I want you", he said. "I think I'm going to take you right here because I am finding it hard to control myself, is that OK with you"? My mouth was dry, my heart racing, I needed water, I couldn't speak. He waited a few seconds for me to respond, him accepting my silence as approval. My mind couldn't process what was happening. I gripped the bars on the treadmill to steady myself. His hand dipped eagerly, with purpose, into my waistband. I could feel my body betray me, dampness flowing freely at this point. I could literally hear his smile when his fingers found my wetness although I was not looking at him. His fingers we're skilled and within seconds my clit was shaking in orgasm. The throbbing didn't let up tho and I was flooded with such intense desire it took my breath away. I made a move to turn to face him but he griped my ponytail tight and grinded his hips into my ass. His cock was fully erect and felt amazing on my ass. I was pulsing harder with the thoughts of his thickness spreading my needy pussy wide open. I moaned as he pulled away to swiftly pull down my capris. He was kneeling now behind me and I suddenly felt so vulnerable and exposed. His knees kicked apart my legs and in one motion his hands focred my ass up and out, his mouth covering my shopping pussy. I screamed, the plesure of the moment was so intense... I had no other response. In any other moment I would have been mortified, knowing I was less than "clean ", sweaty from my work-out and needing to shave today. But I couldn't think about that now. His tongue knew how to take me to cloud 9 and I was quickly engulfed in orgasm #2. When I was done quaking, he stood and proclaimed "I think your ready". He placed my hands on the front of the treadmill... "You may want to hold on". I giggled despite myself and it was met with a swift smack on my ass. A jolt of heat raced thru me and with what felt like one step he had thrusted his thick cock into my pussy. I gasped. He didn't take it easy or take his, time. He fucked me with purpose. I was frozen unable - no unwilling - to move. Grabbing my swollen tits he held onto them tighter with each thrust. I could feel him swelling in me and my own orgasm building. He reached around and stroked my clit hard, smacking it with quick strokes and soon I was cuming like I had never cum before. He gave me two foreful hip thrusts and then removed his throbbing cock leaving me suddenly empty. His hot sperm hit my ass and lower back, his moans so loud and almost painful sounded. Gasping for air he grabbed me hips, continuing to send waves of cum onto my ass. As he regained his composure, he grabbed his gym towel and gently wiped my ass. He stepped close and whispered "Thank you, beautiful", before stepping off the treadmill. I couldnt focus, my knees we're weak, my brain processing the events of the last 20 minutes. I was snapped quickly back to reality when I heard a group of girls entering the gym, chatting about the pool and their bathing suits. I quickly yanked up my pants, looking frantically for spectators. To my delight there wasn't anyone staring and the girls never noticed my situation. But I quickly realized my mystery man was also gone. After getting to my room I showered, letting the hot water wash away my sins. I've never ever done anything like that. How could I??? And how could I have liked it so much? I tried to not think about it as I dressed for the dinner party that was to take place in less than an hour in the hotel ballroom. Feeling flush with that freshly and thoroughly fucked glow, I made my way into the ballroom. Samantha waved and called after me to join her at her table. As I made my way to the table, she was chatting with a group of people who had their backs to me. I grabbed a glass of wine from a passing tray and threw my sweater over the back of a chair. Samantha took one look at me and smiled, "you OK? You look like you just came from a marathon or something". I quickly straightened, and said, "I was at the gym an hour ago". Samantha shook her head in disgust, "here I want you to meet someone, Kerrington this is Paul Lindt, the Director of the Fraud Investigations division of the IRS here in Denver". I must have turned 20 shades of red the moment "Paul" turned to me and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you, Kerrington. Did you enjoy the gym"?

[jaxxonpollux]

notes for vivien during her whatever of whatever v3

hey pee brain

writing here makes me feel less bitter, and it helps me maintain some level aloofness i think. moreso than calling you twice a day and pining away like a ghost wife that passed away out on the cliffs, the moors or whatever, waiting for her sailor soldier husband to return. i know you're a sweetheart but sometimes you're a real pain in the butt too. a real heck and a half. and i'm not like, dumb. i know what busy is and i know phone calls can still be squeezed in even then, but business and time are never really the problem when this stuff happens. i know i don't make myself very easy to talk to, being a sassy emotional sack of old balls and all that, so i wouldn't expect you to either. just enjoy being where you are and living a big life again and i'll watch your cute butt as you leave the room.

that's like a real mad men thing to think and say huh? "boy oh boy i sure do love to see her leave a room!" even when you dress it up and disguise it, it still sounds piggish. something joan would narrow her eyes at, or at the very least give like that phony 1960s "i'll take that as a compliment, you dumb pig man" smile.

i don't know why i feel bitter. god why do i have my ceiling fan on? i'm freezing, it's been in the 50s here. anyway, i don't know why i feel bitter. it's a gross feeling, it really does make me feel like a ghost wife, like just haunting you from the past and trying to drag you back into the deep black water. very selkie actually. it's loneliness doing its evil things and whispering in ears and gnawing on hearts and making me reach out my ugly haunted hand and trying to either have you pull me out of the afterlife or pull you back in. i just spelt gnawing as "knawing," and it doesn't say that it's a typo, is this some secret alt word i've discovered? some special 4am word?

knaw

Verb

(third-person singular simple present knaws, present participle knawing, simple past and past participle knawed)

Archaic spelling of gnaw.

Verb

(third-person singular simple present knaws, present participle knawing, simple past knawed, past participle knawn)

Eye dialect spelling of know.

what the hell is eye dialect? it sounds like when people talk with their eyes "her mouth says no, but her eyes say YES"

"her mouth says no, but her eyes say KNAW"

or basil's wife perhaps, "oh i knaaawr." you gotta slap an r at the end there because they're british. anyway

writing gets real out of hand real fast at 4am y'know. and i'm writing this on my phone too, what kind of sick fuck writes his autobiography on his phone? that sounds like the kind of thing b would do, but i don't have any business knowing the kinds of things b would do

is there anything i actually wanted to say? i've been buying and drinking wines like a madman. i drank half a bottle in an afternoon when i was trying a new wine and my mom goes "that's a LOT of trying!" like not really tho. wine is a trap cuz you gotta drink it freshly corked or else you're fucked. you gotta share wine, i'm always trying to coax my mom into a glass or two so i don't feel stupid drinking it all by myself. i feel like how my mom used to describe my grandma (on my dad's side), taking her wine medicine every day because "it's healthy" or whatever. i really don't drink like that. i actually forget that there's alcohol in there because it never occurs to me. i've still never been drunk. i was possibly tipsy when we had two bottles in miami and we were sitting out on the smoking bench together, but even then i was just slightly louder and happy.

i've tried merlot, pinot noir, pinot grig, rose, sauvignon blanc, "laurel blanc," chardonnay and i've got a riesling on the way, stashed someplace. i feel such like a stereotypical college early 20s girl when i drink wine, like hmmm like the thing where they order fancy tasty alcoholic drinks at bars and stuff? where they can't taste the alcohol at all and get wasted really easily? not that i'm over here getting wasted, but i mean that i'm picky about flavors, like sometimes wine to me is just bad-tasting grape juice that burns a little and makes you want to burp. i popped open a chardonnay yesterday and the intense oaky "full-bodied" flavor kind of offends me. at the end of the day, i'm still just a real soda jerk at heart, like i wanna drink things that taste good. sugary snacks and orange juice and stuff. sarsparilla. wine tastes bad in comparison to most other beverages (like, let's just be real here for a second, all alcohol tastes worse than a sprite), but makes me feel more sophisticated is all, and i already drink bitter black teas to fill that niche in my life.

i'm more just drinking all these different wines to take a peek into a life i don't live, i think. try to understand people i know that drink wine a little better. i wrote about this before, getting to know you through the back door? watching abfab and fawlty towers and reading swamplandia, following in your footsteps, inching my way through the path you hacked through the jungle. like that scarjo alien movie (another example), living in your skin. why is it so impossible for me to talk about getting to know you without diving into some creepy stalker persona? i don't get it. i must be naive to my own creepiness. i have been called "a creeper," but only once in middle school, and i don't think i was doing anything creepy at the time. just standing somewhere looking sad and emo probably. people just called each other creepers back then left and right. it really is a hurtful term, considering i still vaguely remember it

anyway, i have no idea what you're doing in new york, why you're doing foot stuff with strangers, who you're hanging out with, how long you'll be there, why you can't ever think about me or call me or have any space in your life or in your thoughts for me and i have no idea why everything is so difficult and i have no idea about divorce or wine or new york in general really. and i'm just always over here baking 50 loaves of bread and 600 chocolate bavarians and dumping rainbow sprinkles and maraschino cherries into bowls and putting 350, 850, 1100 pieces of flourless chocolate cake on plates over and over again and checking instagram every time i walk through the halls because it's the only way i know you're not dead. and i know you're awake at 4am when i'm walking into work and i miss you and think of you then, when we're the only souls up at that hour, but then you get like 7 likes on your 4am instagram post and i realize that's actually bullshit and yeah. i'm a dumb jealous bitch, but only like, a little bit, and every person that comments on your instastuff i just imagine that it's somebody that lives in new york and is in your entourage and is more important to you and more interesting than i ever was and i should really just keep dumb mouth shut about everything.

i warned you i was a boring boy, and i warned myself too. you're out there living big again, cool people dragging you into cool big city cocaine club experiences, swapping stick and pokes and fur jackets and call girl stories, writing novels and shooting music videos and hosting parties where you get to avoid your guests and be in the vip back room... (my imagination is endless you see!)

and i'm like a dumb ducking small town country hick boy pining and sending senpai-notice-me pictures of rice krispy treats as if it's anything to sneeze at (it isn't), pretending like my baking or my pictures of clouds or cats is worth anything in your life, because i'm just fumbling and grasping at straws and presenting them to you, like hey look at these straws eh? pretty neat eh? wanna go out with me? i feel like that picture of that kid holding a bunch of roses out to rihanna. a reference which is apparently too dated to show up on google images, grumble

speaking of baking, i went to this japanese bakery the other day to inquire about a job opening and the girl there, well first of all it's really cute because all the girls there wear brown berets and brown overalls, but anyway the girl there said they have TWENTY bakers working there. TWENTY. i keep telling people this hoping for a reaction because apparently only a baker understands how bonkers this is. a small mom and pop bakery with TWENTY bakers. i mean, their stuff is pretty nice, and they do a wide variety of things, but i work at a place with three bakers and we make food for hundreds of people every day.

what else do i have to say, hmmm... i feel like i dropped the ball on the whole self-loathing thing really early, like those couple of paragraphs up there are really more of a finisher but whatever. i'm just rambling, just ranting, just stream of conscious jack kerouac jacking myself off and it's honestly just fine, i don't gotta organize this any particular way do i? nah

but like, don't take any of this stuff too seriously (but do if it makes you like feel really bad for me and miss me or whatever heh), everything is a fleeting thought or feeling nowadays, some times are better than others. some days i text you simply because i wanna share something with you and i'm thinking of you, real simple, and i don't even think about how dumb and bitter i can get, but other days i just want to give up on you and crawl back into my haunted lake and stop trying and kill myself or hurt myself or at the very least make desperate phone calls to people i used to talk to and make myself feel relevant again. but eh. what a soap opera. i like how you think YOU'RE crazy when i'm like just a pile of flesh filled with howling, howling winds, like i'm a real fucking whirlwind in here, a real wuthering heights crazy animal sex energy in here. haunting away from my creaky old miasma mansion. i'm just full of sludge, i'm the swamp and trump never drained me, turns out.

anyway, like i said don't take it too seriously, i'm ok. i'm only flexing muscles, really, but i do miss you, and probably will forever, because i don't think we'll ever be Together Like That. which is fine but it also sucks. "don't you forget about me"

hey also if you happen to read this prior to halloween, or at all, send me some songs for a playlist i'm putting together for no particular reason. i listen to it at work. i've been in a real halloweeny mood even though i never have time or any reason to dress up. but i do all the other stuff, i carve pumpkins and wear candy corn socks and do generally love the season. nobody ever sees it, but i do love the season, i just never share my love with anybody the way i wish i could. just don't send like, the marilyn manson version of i put a spell on you or whatever, unless it's really good, i didn't actually look into it.

sincerely,

from out here on the moors,

the other brian

p.s. just in case new york actually really sucks for you right now and is really not fun or exciting and you are actually feeling very rotten and lonely, i do aplogize profusely! my imagination runs too fast for me to catch up sometimes. just always missing you and always beating myself up. i hope i don't ever rub you the wrong way. https://youtu.be/UDhmnoBVYlQ

p.p.s. 11am now, just wanna say i stand by this big black chunk of coal letter, except i didn't want it to be quite so angry and bitter. your business is your business and i'm silly for assuming i need to be included, as per, i'm really not as desperately invested as i come off. i feel stripped of a friend maybe, but not helpless hopeless careening into a black hole or anything. stay warm stay safe, i'm here when you need my brand of friend again, but i'm gonna make a concerted effort to stop prying. xo