#it was nice having a game i wasnt spoilt for

[computerram]

aight so i finished drv3 and i have some Thots about it below and Yes Unfortunately Its Long Im So Sorry If The Readmore Doesnt Work

tldr overall a fun and entertaining game, very streamlined in terms of mechanics compared to the last two, and was rly close to being my favourite but shot itself in the foot in the last hour which sucks a bit + theres a chara tierlist at the bottom

so in an effort to try and be positive im not gonna harp on too much about anything i didnt like im just gonna get my grievences out with a couple of things bc at the end of the day i genuinely rly did like playing it lol

so yeah elephant in the room but yeah i. did not like the ending, which is a shame bc i was rly excited for it! but then it just goes way too far with team danganronpa and the fourth wall stuff and it just really killed my enthusiasm. i get what they were going for but there were much better ways to get across the themes of fiction/reality, audience entitlement + not letting urself be used as someone elses personal feel-good device while still keeping it in the actual dr-universe, but more importantly than all that all it it just kinda throws out the mystery solving/plot points and the last like hour or so is just Being Talked At about the Unbelivable Big Twist which in mystery games just completely kills it dead and it felt like a cop out

HOWEVER the intial set up of them being normal non-ults who volunteer/get kidnapped/whatever with the fake memories on reality tv? really good, felt like it was organically leading you there rly well since the start and i always felt pretty excited whenever i could find something that pointed towards it. good idea just bad execution

chapter 1 is personal preferance but its sadly the weakest chapter for me just bc like above i rly dont like unreliable narrators when im playing a mystery game, if we’d played as shuichi the entire time itd be more understandable but since we’re kaede all it rly did was make me feel kinda disconnected from her which is a shame. also i just wanted her to have more fte with ppl :’(

that being said i loved revisting it in the first half of ch6 and it cleared up a lot of things i thought were weird it wasnt commented on like rantaros bloody hand + where his monopad went

the murders from ch2 onward are pretty solid throughout. there are a couple of blips with the motives being a little weak but it still does a lot of stuff i always thought would be cool to see (not having a body left in ch2, a murder in the middle of an investigation in ch3) which is exactly what i wanted from this game

little disappointed that the special rules in this one never rly cashed in on themselves (the first blood perk, a tie w/ two blackened killing them both even if theyre not guilty, a murder basically being able to walk away scott free if they kill during an investigation) but c’est la bee

chapters 4-5 were genuinely amazing, chapter 5 bascially became my favourite in the franchise and they both really captured the whodunnit spirit i love, the characters felt a lot more involved in those trials, the emotional beats were intense, the back and forth between the different theories, it all had me HYPE bro

The split debates are also a rly fun mechanic the music slaps every time and they help break up the monotony + make you feel like ur not just the only one trying to solve stuff

The lying/back route mechanic is Really good. I love the fact shuichi is such a Shit liar in the first few chapters and by the end of chapter 5 ur lying straight to monokumas face. get his ass

speaking of shuichi didnt think it was possible but Shuichi stole first place protag from hinata. i think the fact you get to see his sprite in the corner means its a lot easier to infer his reactions with people a lot better and the relationship between him and maki/kaito felt rly genuine. also the backroute mechanic rly helps ground him as someone with a good head on his shoulders and not just Protag Powers.

i wish i could talk about more characters but this is already so long so ill send it off wow Kaito rly said ‘fuck you’ to monokuma and died in space the way he wanted huh god what a KING

anyway heres the tier list A^ gets a kiss from me personally 

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hard Lives - Jason Todd x Reader

It was unfair. The whole team seemed to hold a grudge against Jason, for what reason you did not know. He was cocky and arrogant, but he was harmless, to the team at least. He needed more experience, or so Bruce said, but he wasn’t being given it. Dick wanted him and the rest of you teenagers to stay in the Titans base. But it was clear Jason didn’t want to.

You didn’t either, but you were obeying the adults to the best of your ability. If they wanted you to remain put, it was in your best interest to do so.

From the way they treated him he became distant, retreating into his own quarters and limiting his socialisation to talking to Gar.

Jason liked to train. He wanted to be the best Robin he could. You envied his skill, and here you currently were, watching him take out his frustrations in a stick battle with the green haired boy.

Bruce's adoptee appeared to be winning, throwing his stick to the back of Gar's legs so that he fell onto the mat. The vigilante smirked, offering the closest person he had to a friend a hand up.

Gar accepted, shaking it before coming towards the exit, where you were stationed.

"He's not that bad." He told you, suspicious of your hovering.

Perhaps he thought you wrote examining the flaws in Robin's agility, or noticing how he was almost too cocky and confident with his physical ability. But you weren't. If anything, you'd consider what you were doing as admiring.

"I'm not judging tiger." You smirked at the blush that crept upon the meta human's face, watching as he bowed his head and fled to the hallway.

You enjoyed having that affect upon people. You had learnt a lot from those who had raised you. Your mothers as they were known.

Green eyes darted to you. Jason had spotted you. "Don't you have a circus to run or some plants to grow?"

His voice hunted his irritance. He knew that you had been raised by Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, and he happened to hold it against you.

"Don't you have some blue eggs to squeeze out?" You retorted, coming away from the doorway and walking slowly towards Jason Todd.

"Funny." He simply remarked, not moving as you adventure closer. "What is the reason I am graced with your hilarious presence?"

The stick was still grasped in his left hand, since he had swapped it from his right when aiding Gar to his feet.

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm not here to taunt you or put you down like the others do?"

Hank was a criminal for it. He would purposely anger Jason, often ending in both a verbal and physical fight. You'd have thought that Hank, a grown man, would have more maturity than pick on a kid but apparently not.

Rachel made her occasional comments, whether that be away from his ears or not. Even if they were, Jason was well aware that she had a problem with him, even if it wasnt personal.

Kori never really had an opinion of him whatsoever. She had her own problems and it was visible that he was appreciative that she didn't consider him one of them.

Dawn kept her distance, but still stopped Hank from getting too into bullying the teenager. She was mature, not stupid. She was well aware of what Jason was capable of.

Dick always put him down. Telling him he could do and be better. It may have had the intention of being encouragement but it didn't work that way. It made his life even harder, reminding him that he wasn't the only Robin. Maybe he didn't want to be a copy of the Robin that Dick was. Just maybe he wanted to be his own version.

"Yes." He answered, tightening his grip whilst looking you in the eye the same way an enemy would.

It was stupid this whole ordeal was. Harley and Ivy stole you when you were a child from what you assumed to be a loving mother and hard working father. Yet Jason treated you as if it was your fault that you landed in their custody.

The others were nicer about the situation, possibly because you had distanced yourself from those villainous figures, and you were obedient. The same couldn't be said for Jason. He hated all of the rules that were set.

It was fine for him beforehand, when he had the full run of Wayne Manor. He could do whatever he wanted. But this was a base, a training facility that sheltered you all until you were ready to take on the real action.

"For all the time we have been here, I don't recall once doing such a thing." You smiled at him, but he only grimaced at the expression you put on your face. "Tell me if you do, refresh my memory if it's mistaken."

Jason couldn't hell himself, his eyes were trained to roll whenever you tried to be a smart ass. "Is it just a game to you? Why do you pretend to be so nice to me?"

It came blurting out of his mouth and he realised after. He had never voiced such a thing before.

"I don't pretend Jason." You told him, crossing your arms and looking down. "I've heard how hard your life was before Bruce, and I thought I'd cut you some slack. God knows that you need it."

He locked his lips nervously. He usually tried to present himself as proud and cocky, but it seemed that you had set off that switch in him.

"Do you maybe want to get out of here?" For all he knew, you would shove the offer back in his face or laugh at him for actually believing that you were joking all along. But you didn't. Instead you sent him a warm smile, one that you were clearly containing.

"And where do you have in mind?" You asked, knowing that you could trust him. You were a part of the same team, of course you could. If you couldn't have faith in one another, you couldn't have it in yourself.

...

Dick stopped Dawn when he saw her. This place, the past that came with it was a lot for them all to take in. But this was Titans Tower, a home for those who could do good with the bad in them.

"Have you seen Jason and (Y/N)?" Dawn wasnt the first person he had asked. He had yet to go around the rest of the tower, Gar had told him he saw you enter the training room just as he was leaving, but it was now empty.

"Maybe you should check the roof." She informed him. It wasnt meant to bring up their history, but when Dawn and Dick had been together, that had been their spot.

The sky was calming, even if it was under the influence of a storm. It was away from the world, and that was something they needed when being a hero.

He nodded at her, clambering up to where the roof was. And then he saw something he had never expected when he laid his feet on the very top surface.

You and Jason. It was a warm day, and the two of you barely noticed. The pair of you were curled into one another, with your eyes shut and your breathing calm.

This was how he wanted to see the two of you. Acting like teenagers instead of vigilantes in training.

The two of you had had such hard lives you deserved a break, and that was clearly what the two of you were having. Except you were sharing the time, seeing each other in a vulnerable state.

It made Dick feel old. He wasn't that old, but still, you kids were all growing up under their care, finding yourselves and each other.

...

You and Jason entered the dining space, together. Donna raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

Dick smirked at the Robin replacement, noticing how the boy kept stealing glances at you.

"I think you got a little burnt on the roof." Hank laughed at mostly Jason, which made him lower his head and shrink back into himself once again.

"He can't get burnt if he's already smoking hot." You defended him, leaning Hawk and everyone else at the table speechless.

Gar tried to stifle his laugh, but failed. For once he was happy to see you making someone other than him flustered.

And Jason was clearly flustered. His cheeks were glowing coral, and it wasn't due to the sun's beaming rays.

"You don't actually have a thing for him, do you?" Rachel attempted to joke, twirling her fork in her dominant hand.

"So what if I do?" You challenged her. The two of you got along, but you didn't appreciate anyone picking on Jason. It wasnt fair, they weren't even giving him a chance. "Perhaps you'd understand why if you stopped treating him like the shit on the bottom of your shoe."

"(Y/N)." Dick scolded you for your language but you ignored him.

You had let everyone's behaviour towards Jason slide for far too long. Today was the end of it, you'd ensure that. "No." You said to him. "None of you have even given him a chance, except for a few of us. You all look down at him or think of him as some rich spoilt boy. Maybe if you got to know him, or paid the littlest attention to detail, you would see how uncomfortable you all make him. He's human, like most of us in this room. He's done nothing but try and save our asses or follow Bruce's orders yet you still disregard him as the public does to us. Perhaps if you weren't such hypocrites, then you'd see the affect you are having on a teenage boy! "

There was nothing more you had to say, so you left, without eating or looking at Jason once more.

Dick tried to call you back, but instead you went to your room, where you hoped no one would bother you.

....

A fist lightly tapped your door. "I swear to god if it's you Rachel, I will got to the kitchen on a personal vendetta and grab that fork you were using and stab it into that stupid gem on your forehead."

But when you opened it you weren't met with Rachel. It was Jason.

"I hope you're not gonna stab me in the forehead." He sheepishly smiled, and you could only do the same. It was nice to hear him cracking the littlest of jokes.

You widened the entrance of your room, opening it so that he could enter. After he did, you shut it.

"Are you okay?" You were concerned. You knew the opinions of everyone in that room took a toll on him.

"I am after your explosive rant." He grabbed your hand. And then he frowned. "You must be hungry." He concluded.

"I'm fine." You assured him.

"Well we could always go out onto the streets and find some random food cart that serves overly expensive hot dogs." Jason still hadn't let go of your hand, and you didn't mind.

You let him see the warm smile again. "I'd like that." And you did.

[sleepychai]

Vent

so this will be new and something you dont normally see on blogs but i really just need to get this out to someone other than my family, my friends and my school counsellor.

i’ve been pushing these feelings of neglect, anger, sadness, guilt and all of that down for so long. i’ve been refusing myself from even feeling like this because i feel like i dont deserve it but it’s slowly killing me and someday i’m nt sure if i’ll be able to stop myself. so i am writing this here in case i do take it too far.

i have been through a lot recently, and a lot through my past. i cant go through one day without contemplating whether i deserve a happy life or not.

theres a lot to read because theres a lot to my life so if you dont want to read about my rant or you dont want me to ruin your day, than scroll down and continue with whatever the fuck youre doing.

so i need to clarify a few things before i get into details.

my family isnt a healthy one, theres no question about it. my parents aren’t married and never were. they despise each other yet still had three kids, me being the oldest. they hate each other so much that they get verbally and on minor counts physically abusive towards each other if left alone for too long. my dad has met and married a woman named sue then proceeded to have two more kids with her making me the oldest out of five. my mum has also met a man named brad more on his shit later.

life has never been easy on my, even when i was born. i was born as a mistake that my dad never gave permission for. my mum deliberately lied to my dad so she could get pregnant. then when i was actually born, i got passed on to my nan (my mums mum) for the first two years of my life because my parents were incapable of taking care of me.

my mum was sixteen when i was born and my dad was 18-19, both dropped out mid-way of high school. my mum refused to work at all which forced my dad to take on 3 jobs just to cover the necessities.

when my parents finally decided to take me back, it went ok. i moved up to queensland for a bit and had a nice time for a bit, until my mum burnt her hand in the toaster and we had to move back down to melbourne because there were better doctors down there. many fights ha occurred during that time and my brother was born around that time as well. he also got diagnosed with autism which only shattered our family more.

so by the time we moved back down, things were going okay-ish. i attended a good school there, i had lots of friends, i was getting good grades even advancing a bit. but as my sister came into this world, life took another turn for hell. my dad wanted all three of us kids because he believed that he could provided more for us but my mum refused and threw a knife at my dad. my dad left that day and never moved back in but still kept in touch with us whenever he could. my mum moved in with my nan which already had my two uncles living there already so it was a very packed house. i moved schools which was very hard for me because i tended to move schools a lot.

there i met many friends and even had a relationship with someone. i dont want to go to details with this because i told someone once and they bullied me for it.

so a year went on with nothing bad going on but then life once again decided to pay a visit. in year 5, i moved houses once again and had a park across the street, there i met a girl and became friends with her and had a good relationship with her. her name is brodie and we were bffs back then. but it wasnt for good. we had a lot of fights between us to the point where our parents had to get involved. but then after a few days we became friends again and met a few other people and became friends with them

throughout the two years we had a few other fights and she exploited all the secrets i had told her, secrets that i wished to keep but never did. she and her friends bullied me and sent threats to me in so many ways it nearly made me want to kill myself. at that point of time i didnt know what suicide was or what cutting was but i ha thoughts of knifes often that it scared me. i never told my parents anything but they knew about the fight. for two whole months i was stuck in my house because i was too scared to go outside, afraid that the kids would show up and bully me again. it wasnt until she said sorry at school that i was stupid enough to trust her again. we ended up having another fight then went back to being friends. after our year 6 graduation we had another fight. this fight was my fault. most people wouldnt put it that way because it was really my fault but the fight was about me. my parents agreed that it’d be better if i move out of my mums house and move in with my dad, away from all the bad shit and into a better neighbourhood, a new life as some might say. and with that move i was going to over moving to a girls school. brodie is a huge homophobic and once she heard the news about my school, she and her friends started calling me lesbain and a bitch just for going to an all girls school. when i left that place, i left the memories there. or so i thought

around this time is also the time when my dad met my soon to be step mum from his work so i was slowly getting to know her then as well. my grand nan also was moving away to tasmania so i wouldnt get to see her as often as i did. i’ve always had a good relationship with my nan and grand nan mainly because i got spoilt and lived with them for the first two years of my life. my mum was also really lazy and barely left the couch. if she did, it would be to go grocery shopping or to make us dinner. also me and my mum suffered from epilepsy but she was worse then me but i still had to take medicine everyday and she had to take six. because of her severe seizures she sometimes had if she forgot to take her medication, she was exempt from obtaining her license unless she was seizure free for two years, and she didnt get her license until a few months before my graduation. the end of year 6 was also the time my mum met her dick shit of a boyfriend.

now i am not going to lie here, he was an absolute prick. he also had two kids with an abusive relationship with his partner, but all he fucking cared about was fucking my mum and playing his fucking car games. he even updated his game using our internet which was already going at the speed of a fucking snail. he practically lived with us then and i caught them in the living room once. IN TH FUCKING LIVING ROOM. i never sat on that couch again and that experience had scarred me terribly.

anyway so i moved in with my dad and step mum sue in a small house and attended the girls school that we appeared to be just out of the zone for but still got me in. i didnt have any friends at that stage but everything was going okay there, apart from the homework. a fews months later in year seven, dad and sue got married. a couple more months after that sue was announced pregnant with my half sister. life took another turn after that. we had to start searching for a new home because we only had two bedrooms an i was already having to share my room once a fortnight with my siblings.

money wasnt easy on us. but to be fair we did go on our annual camping trips and went up to noosa once for a vacation so we had our good times as well as the bad. during year 7 i was also grounded a lot because im me.

anyway when we moved to our current house, things were going down hill a lot

money became s big issue with the whole new renovations being done to the house, my sister being admitted to the hospital multiple times for her ears, my schooling not doing to well. the only good thing is that I finally made a group of friends that I still am very great friends with today.

so after that fiasco died down, things started returning to normal, at least for this side of the family. 

my mum eventually moved with with dick milk and her relationship with him continued to progress even though it shouldn’t have. She finally got a job by then, a very low income job. i had a lot of fights with my mum then and it didn’t help with dick milk getting in the way. a couple months went on when shit started hitting the fan again. a tree had fallen on top of the house which luckily didn’t damage anything, dads shoulder fucked itself which made sue have the pressure of more work but she didn’t have to do much considering my dads low income and her very high income. it still gave her a lot of pressure. When my dad finally got back to work it started getting a little bit better. 

By this time I was introduced to anime and fanfiction and Tumblr and all that. Anime and fanfic seemed to be my getaway from life as the months continued on. 

Last year sue announced that she was pregnant once again. I didn’t believe it at first but as it hit the eight month mark I finally had to come to belief of it. When he was born, my life changed forever, and not for the good. 

This leads to the current problems. Being the oldest out of five is really something that puts a huge weight on your shoulders especially since your parents are continuously fighting for one child custody and you being the one that represents the one potentially good side. 

Ok so my dad wants custody for my sister when she hits high school but my mum is refusing it. Because I live with my dad, it’s up to me to represent him because in the end he is better for her. But me and my dad haven’t been in good terms lately. Also because my dad and I aren’t doing to well with our relationship, my mum has started showing me love and care something that she usually lacks of. 

Anyway, so that’s leaving me confused because I have no idea where I am in the world. And my schooling isn’t doing to well either because I’m pretty much failing every class. So right now I’m just a confused fucked up being. I’m questioning a lot of things lately. I don’t know my sexuality. I don’t know where I belong in the world. I don’t know whether I belong in this world. I don’t know if I deserve to be in this world. I’m feeling neglected upon my family and some of my friends. I feel lost and hopeless. I feel guilty because I know that all my problems are some form or another my fault. I feel upset because I hardly ever get the attention I want. I haven’t had the affectionate attention for ages, I haven’t had the living care of affection from my family for months now. 

Being the oldest out of five isn’t always a happy thing to reflect on. i crave for the affectionate attention that i have been neglected of. Sure call me an attention whore, call me a slut, a bitch, an asshole, a fucking selfish bitch. I’ve heard it all from myself and my family. I feel like a huge burden to my family and even question my place in it. 

I have even gone as far as to violently scratch myself. And you know what’s worse? I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed bringing myself pain and that scares me. I don’t want to think these things but I have no other choice to. Writing seems to be my break from everything, it’s my freedom and I’m often ripped away from that freedom. I’m a narcissist and there’s nothing that will change that and now you know why. 

I just needed to get this out to someone other than the people I know. If you made it this far, thank you for continuing this rant and I’m sorry if I wasted ur time. i just wanted to tell you that even if your life may suck a little bit right now, stop and consider the rest of the people, im not saying to just consider my life story, im not the only one in the world with many problems. im saying that even if you seem to have one big problem, take a step back and appreciate what you have, i dont have much to appreciate but dont let the small things bring you down. ive been unfortunate to let them get to me, but dont let them get to you. please

thats it for now, if you dont want to read my vents and rants, them skip them, theres probably going to be a lot more in the future.