#it was mostly pure comedy and he got screwed up in there

[you-ren-emy]

You know, if Deidara wasn't groomed into being a killing machine, been possibly expected to be the next Tsuchikage, didn't have his values ridiculed and lived in a more supportive environment,

He'd have been a pretty good person.

[2deadkat]

i'd love to hear ur complaints abt modern geronimo! If u'd like to share that is

Thank you for asking anon, I’d love to share and you have inadvertently entered the dragon’s den/lh

But fr tho, it’s a lot. It’s mostly pertaining to the writing.

The reason why I hate modern Geronimo is in the biggest nutshell possible, they screwed up the original dynamic for the Stiltons, a majority of the books is just one big game of Geronimo torture porn between the other characters, and overall a lot of wasted potential for unique interactions between the wider cast and the rest of the Stiltons as its limited to just Geronimo himself. Hell a lot of the plots could have the input from the other Stiltons if they were brave enough. And there seems to be a new character every few books and there’s no rhyme or substance to it anymore. Since when did trap reproduce???

And you’re telling me von Volt has another relative???? Yk at some point you just stop reading the books. Oh and do not get me started on the Thea problem…

Let me start with the Stiltons real quick, somehow they got worse by watering down their personalities to a bunch of cheap jokes.

What made the classic (or early) books work was that the whole point of Geronimo’s character is that yes he’s a wimp, but that’s because he’s a tired boss who gets dragged into his family’s shenanigans, and by extension his friends and allies around him. Everyone has some eccentric personality that shocks or baffle him in some way, and that’s where the comedy comes from. He’s able to stand on his own because of his duties and eagerness to stay in his comfort zone is where the meat of the interactions come from.

His family especially Trap and Thea were meant to be respective foils to him. Trap consistently bullies him and Thea is meant to be the direct opposite of him, she’s the driving force in the group and has more pants to cover up what Gerry doesn’t have. She’s the one behind a lot of their adventures or scoops, hell she’s also the one who keeps finding them in the first place and drags her family and connections into them which makes sense because that’s her job and also where a lot of the plots start from. She fills out the spots that Gerry doesn’t have. Trap is just pure comic relief and is basically that outside force to the group. Hell the two even have a dynamic of their own where’d they just fight over the most trivial things and that makes us side with Geronimo more because of the ridiculousness of his family, that’s what made it click (to me). Highly recommend you read the early books, it shows the strongest character imo (#1-20).

Now Geronimo has all his autonomy stripped away and he’s been reduced to a nothing but a punching bag for everyone around him. I hope I’m not kidding here but try reading a classic book (let’s say #7 or #26) and compare it to the writing in a modern book (let’s say #46 or #74) it’s very jarring. They put more emphasis on different ways his day is ruined and give him no room to breathe or stand on his own. There’s just no charm to that anymore. There’s no fine line with his relationship with the other characters (Run for the Hills Geronimo is probably the worse one and represents everything I don’t like about the new dynamic)

Now over time that initial draw to action is also done by Trap, which I thought was cool because it still plays into the idea of Geronimo’s family dragging him into their shenanigans and the motives make sense to him specifically. It’s like he keeps getting calls from his relatives on schemes which is fun. But the more you keep reading the modern books the dynamic gets skewed over time and here’s the part I’ve been waiting for…Thea gets shelved completely. And now it’s somehow the GOD DAMN GINGER BROS SHOW?????

Now I think about it, Trap used to be a lot more clever in the classic books as well, he’s essentially a bumbling fool who keeps falling into the wrong situations to make a quick buck which slowly backfires on him. If you know me that well you know I’d call him a less scummier Grunkle Stan. The fact that there’s no Thea to balance it out or at least ground the dynamic to some level feels really annoying now.

You don’t really see much of her anymore as she’s either smiling at the back or doesn’t say more than five lines anymore, which is baffling because she’s the one who can pick up the pace the most. I really wished they showed more of her involvement again…They’re a trio, not a duo…and the books are suspiciously phasing her out to make room for the ginger bros fail routine and it ultimately feels very empty…there’s not much acknowledgement or involvement from her really like they could say she’s busy at mouseford or something but nope! Shelved completely without an explanation or a missed opportunity for a tie-in mention.

So far the only redemption I see is the Mayan Mystery one and the Soccer one where she had a more integral role which are way more recent but it still bothers me that they just shelved her for a majority of the modern run.

Listen if the modern books weren’t cowards she would SOLO all these people

she’d probably have an interesting dynamic knowing that she gets along with everyone well and is technically an adventurer. It’d be such a good parallel to her brother to play off of.

hell it’s even worse in the comics. Like there’s legit no acknowledgment of her at all, when trap is absent that gets an explanation but she’s just suspiciously…gone and the only time she does have a major role is when she’s used as a fake mask for a psyche-out to the villains (I’m sorry but if the comics are gonna pull that shit then I’m baited to believe that Thea and (cat lady) would have a homerotic switcheroo fight akin to Ms.Bellum and Sedusa. SHES THE TOUGHEST AND SMARTEST RODENT, USE HER GODDAMIT)

Idk man I tried reading some of the comics and it never worked out that much, again the dynamic feels suspiciously empty with zero acknowledgment. It’s not the Stiltons it’s just the fucking ginger bros for some reason. It doesn’t feel solid like it used to. I really can’t get into them which is a shame, and tbf why would I want to read a comic where Geronimo goes back in time and helps a colonist do his thing 💀

I’d be very happy if someone here can give me one good reason to get into them somehow, I want to like modern Geronimo, please/s

Look if there’s one character I don’t mind them putting in complete absence it’s probably the unaccompanied minors/s…Or Petunia which makes much more sense since she’s a family friend!

Look I actually like Ben and Bugsy as a duo, I think their whole concept is really wholesome, but the books don’t really push their parts that much, like there’s no meaningful interaction they have with the adults which is a lot of missed potential that or it’s just limited to Geronimo. Like listen I get that the whole point of the books was that it was from Geronimo’s perspective, but it’s not like everyone else was just “present”. They had more active roles and Gerry would just write all his observations down. You want a good example? The Mona Mousa Code.

Still…Benjamin had more charm and a bigger role in the classic books…that boy can hyper fixate and master niche skills in anything and was the emotional rock for Geronimo. But now he just goes along with his uncle being a punching bag routine :/ and I KNOW they could do a lot more for Bugsy here, especially since the paws are practically family friends.

—-

But you know…I’ll do give it credit here this era has one of my favorite art styles in the series and notably the one I grew up with the most (classic books illustrations still hold more charm imo) but the way action and expression is illustrated is just *chefs kiss* there’s a certain bounce to it that makes it so memorable.

And I’ll do admit all those geography facts (even if it’s just basic facts I mean it’s a kids book) and long detailed lists or charts about a characters detail is really cool and somehow makes it more immersive.

And it’s really nice to see the universe get expanded.

But overall, the writing is not the same anymore, the original dynamic is screwed up, and lots of missed opportunity to round up the cast together. It’s either empty or I’m just getting too old…Maybe I’m just nostalgia-biased in different areas who knows. But that’s pretty all my thoughts I can pull out.

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

60. “have you always been this beautiful?” + 68. “You owe me a kiss.” for sean/reader plssss?

Glitter in The Air (Sean X Reader)

A/N: This is just pure Sean Falco bubble gum cotton candy fluff just for Joz ☺️☺️😍

You held your finger above the mouse and debated which road to take:

Add him. It's only been four years, but he's bound to remember you.

Forget it. It’s been four years, how would he ever remember you?!

Without a second thought you clicked add friend on the Facebook name “SeanFalco92.” You typed out a little note just in case.

Hey, Sean.

I'm sorry about what happened at the University. You're a bit infamous. Not every day the quiet Irishman gives it to the campus police. That fire hydrant was ugly anyways.

Y/N, The Dark Room Princess

Then you switched off the internet to prevent yourself from nervously checking every ten minutes to see a response. So you poured yourself a cup of coffee and put your headphones in. It was gonna be an all-nighter on your grad school thesis.

Your computer made a loud ping noise that startled you from sleep you didn't realize you had fallen into. You raised your head and looked at the time “11am.” Thank God, still a few hours until you had to turn in your thesis. Then you were free to never worry about university again, until the loans rolled in. You groaned.

Still you adjusted yourself and your glasses to read the message that had come up alongside the friend request acceptance.

Hey! Yeah it's totally been awhile. How have you been? I felt the wrath of my parents when they bailed me out. Due for a bit of community payback for a few months. Sorry “Service.” Next time I won't get nicked.

Not quite sure about the dark room reference, but was thinking you should meet me at the carnival on Friday. I know I shouldn't be on campus, but I had tickets before everything went down. Care to be my reason for still showing my face after all that humiliation?

Sean

You shook your head and laughed. He definitely didn't remember you, and you weren't exactly sure what he was up to. Who turns down an opportunity to spend the night with Sean Falco?

You took your time replying. Showering. Eating lunch. Printing your thesis and assembling it. Not wanting to appear eager in your reply. He pinged again.

You there? It looked like you were online. Sorry, didn't mean to appear so needy or forward. I just thought it’d be nice to be reacquainted.

You cocked an eyebrow, cheeks flushed a bit and finally returned a response.

Yeah. I would like that. I live in the Madison apartments. Get to Union station (I'm guessing you lost your license?) and we’ll take the Gold Line back to campus. See you at 7.

Sean's comeback was immediate.

It's a date!

Your face grew even hotter. Fuck, it's a date.

-----

You couldn't help but be nervous as you paced around the front steps of your apartment complex. You felt confident in the cute outfit you rushed out and bought impulsively. Or how you bit the bullet and got your hair done too after you delivered your thesis. You claimed it was in celebration of the rest of your life and nothing to do with the tall, lanky Irishman now headed your way.

“Sean!” a bit startled as you turned around in his direction.

Curly hair a bit wild, his jeans looking industrial but you knew they weren't bought that way. The purple tee-shirt he wore somehow made his leafy green eyes positively stunning. His hand was outstretched with a flower held towards you.

“T’ought I might go a bit old-fashioned t’night,” you took the --- from him. “Maybe a bit o’ congratulations for finishing your t’esis paper.”

Glad your hair covered your ears because you knew the tips were bright red. You never remembered his lilt being that strong or noticeable. Maybe for some strange reason it was his nerves too?

“A Peony? Sean, these are my favorites! How’d you know?” you smelled it briefly before you tucked it away behind your ear. Pleasantly surprised. “Thank you.”

“I may have creeped around your photos a bit, hope ye don't mind?” Sean raised his hands and crinkled one of his eyes shut.

“This is my first flower from anyone, so I'll take some light stalking in the meantime. We should hurry though, the train leaves in ten minutes.”

The two of you side by side. You sat turned to face him, back towards the window of the car. Sean faced forward and stole sideways glances while you talked.

“So what does a young lady with a Masters in Art History do fer livin?”

“I want to restore old paintings at the Met in New York, but I'll probably be stuck here in Portland till I'm thirty. What about you, think you can bypass a degree and still be a photojournalist? Maybe and Irish Ansel Adams?”

Sean laughed, “How did you know any of that?” He looked directly at you with a gleam in his eyes.

“You really don't remember me do you?”

You took a chance and slid your hand into his to prevent him from picking at a loose thread in his shirt. Sean easily enclosed it without hesitation.

“Mostly!” Cheek hidden in his smile. “I just thought something about ye clicked in my brain. Can't figure out why, but was hopin’ going out with ye would jog my mind. Is t’at ok?”

There was no time to answer. Soon enough you were back on campus. You talked Sean into some french fries and corn dogs before tugging at his hand excitedly.

“Ok, the Ferris Wheel! Let's do that first? We should be able to see downtown, and it'll be dusk by the time we get on.”

Sean hesitated as his eyes glanced up towards the top. A flash of nerves behind his eyes, but he gave up and shrugged. Obediently following you in line while he ate, a bit sullen.

Surely the guy who just fought a fire hydrant and a cop wouldn't be scared of heights, you thought. Then you flashed back to that day Freshman year and Sean's panicked voice in the dark. His ragged breath and palms that sweat through your tee shirt as he held onto your shoulders.

You shoved a cheese fry in your mouth as the line staggered forward slow and steady. The conversation had died quite suddenly, but you knew you had to take the chance. Cheesy romantic comedy as this all was, who doesn't want to be with a hot guy alone stuck on a ride?

“Uh y/n?” The giggle was back in Sean’s voice now as you broke from your reverie. “You've got some..” His thumb swiped at the corner of your mouth before he lifted it to his own. “Cheese.”

“Thank.. you?” The tension was silent and awkward.

Then, as the two of you simply stared at each other, Sean let out a sound somewhere between a strangled laugh and a snort. It was infectious, and you instantly joined in. That type of laughter you aren't sure how people achieve, but it leaves you breathless and annoying to everyone in your sight.

“I don't know.. why..I licked.. my thumb,” he wheezed around the most childlike giggle. “It was like a weird compulsion.” The way he said the word came out like “way-rd,” and instigated more laughter from deep inside you.

It seemed to ease Sean’s apprehension as the two of you began to board the ride, though. A calm coming over him as you both quieted down. He white-knuckled the bar as it clicked into place over your laps. Eyes wide as it lurched into motion.

You brushed your fingers tentatively over his clenched fist. Sean had a glazed look in his eyes as you slowed and stopped multiple times. You inches towards the top. He really was frightened.

“I've just gotta get over this. I'm confronting my fear is all.” He sounded so serious with a hint of pride, you stifle a chuckle with a bite of a lip.

Sean peered slightly over the edge of the car and looked downwards. Then it halted suddenly and he grabbed your hand and covered it with his massive one. You squirmed around to hold it properly as he squeezed his eyes shut. The car swung back and forth a bit on the precarious side, even for you. One last time, and it would start spinning in its giant lackadaisical circle.

Forward. Pitch to a stop even harder than the last few. This time Sean buried his face in your shoulder, and you relished this surprising role-reversal. But then he looked up at you in the most serious manner.

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

At the same exact time you said:

“First claustrophobia now heights”

You both sat up straight and gaped.

Again simultaneously.

“How d’ye know I'm claustrophobic?!”

“Did you just call me pretty?”

For the moment, Sean was no longer afraid. Your sentiment about his fear distracted him long enough that he loosened up immensely. Long fingers scratched at his mess of curls while deep in thought. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, heart beating wildly in your ears.

Sean tugged at his chin with a forefinger and thumb. Obviously deep in thought as he gazed off into the sky. It was like a lightbulb finally popped on over his head.

“Jesus (jaysus) Dr Bacher’s photography course. Freshman year!”

You smiled, “By Jove I think he's got it!”

“T’at’s how ye know me. We got right stuck in that darkroom door. It was like a pitch-black tube really. Man I bloody well panicked.”

“I thought you were screwing with me at first! Your hands were so sweaty my tee-shirt was wet from where you were groping me. I kept thinking how every single girl in our class would've killed our professor to be stuck with the hot Irish guy. All that heavy breathing, my teenage brain thought it was sexual tension.”

“I was 18 wedged in a small space with a cute girl. It was claustrophobia, but it was also sexy.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and smiled. The two of you ignoring the ride and it's slow rotations. Still holding hands.

“I don't think I imagined that..” you struggled with the next line.. “parts of you were totally poking into me.”

Sean's mouth dropped open but he repeated his prior sentiment. A bit higher pitched. “I WAS 18 IN A SMALL SPACE WITH A HOT GIRL!” His lilt was more pronounced.

“Who gets a fear.. boner,” you rolled back into the hysterics from earlier on the ground.

Sean's face a deep crimson as his mouth tightened into a straight line. He looked away, but you knew he was playing along. Those eyes betrayed him with a hint of a smile.

“You told me if I got us out you’d take me on a date.”

“I said I'd kiss ye if we got out alive. Never knew how long it’d be til someone found us.”

“You did!” you agreed excitedly. “The door just needed hoisted up and back on the track. Which I did! Then we stumbled out and I practically threw myself in your arms for that kiss.”

“Wait, did we?” Sean turned back to you as the Ferris wheel slowed to another stop. Neither of you remembered it moving.

“No. Stupid ass Derek Sandoval was in the classroom waiting for you.”

“Oi! Watch now, he's still my mate.” Sean's turn to tease now.

“I bet he is.”

The two of you sat back in the car. Your fingers still entwined but the fright had melted away. Sean let out a long steady breath as he really looked out on the carnival and the multicolored lights as they danced around you. The stars blanketed the sky.

“Sean?”

His face heavenwards. “Yeah y/n?

“I think you owe me a kiss,” your words soft, almost a whisper.

Sean’s gaza came back down from the clouds. The music and noise from the crowds seemed to fade away as your breath caught in your throat. Without a second thought, he let go of your hand and put his arm around you. That soft mouth leaned over and almost melted with yours. Your bodies enveloped in a hug as Sean slid the tip of his tongue between your lips. Your own darted forward to fight with it.

Then the car hulked into motion again and you broke apart. A smirk on Sean's face revealed a dimple, and you joined in with a grin of your own.

“Well, that was worth a four year wait.”

Tag list: @joz-stankovich @robertsheehanownsmyass @magic-multicolored-miracle @elliethesuperfruitlover

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about “Agony of a Witch” from The Owl House

...Well crap. I guess I am reviewing every episode of The Owl House from now on...ARE YOU HAPPY WRITERS?! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELVES?! ARE YOU SATISFIED?!

...

Anyways, salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. And today, I'm reviewing the penultimate episode of The Owl House’s first season: "Agony of a Witch." It goes without saying at this point, but there are going to be HUGE spoilers for both not only the episode but the entire series as a whole. So if you haven't checked out The Owl House yet, I highly recommend you do so. It's an incredible show, and the next episode is the season finale. So now's your last chance to get all caught up. With that done and over with, let's get started, shall we?

WHAT I LIKE

That opening scene: These first few minutes perfectly sets the tone for the episode. The best example of how the tone is set is with the music. Or rather, lack thereof. The establishing shots of Belos' castle could have had grand and imposing music that gives "The Imperial March" a run for its money. But honestly, the pure silence says so much more about how serious this scene than any background motif could. Because while music does an excellent job of telling us how we should feel, no music means that the right feelings are already met. And in this case, the feelings are dread and terror.

But another thing that perfectly sets the tone is the fact that there aren't any jokes in this scene. If you had to ask me, I'd say that The Owl House is a comedy series with drama and story on the side. This is because the opening scene of every episode begins with trying to make the audience laugh with one or two jokes. That is every episode except for this one. Because "Agony of a Witch" does not open with any jokes leaving the audience with laughter. It begins with an ominous threat and leaving the audience in fear. All of which perfectly sets up how gutwrenching this episode is going to be.

Hooty’s an actual security system: But luckily, it doesn't take too long for the laughs to come right on back.

When it was implied that Hooty was the security system that Eda had set for her house, I never understood how or why. But now I do! Because it turns out that Hooty acts as a force of chaos that just annoys his enemies into submission. And I'm gonna level with you for a second: This scene helps make Hooty a fantastic character. For the most part, I find Hooty an annoying character. And it's partially due to his voice...mostly due to his voice...it's because of his voice. But, I'm sorry, a character wins points for me by accidentally beating an army without even knowing they're fighting.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

“It’s because he’s got the hots for you, isn’t it?”: I like the fact that I pointed this out as a joke in my last review, only for this episode to not only address it but almost immediately dismiss it.

Plus, Eda winking with finger guns is always a win. Again, I don't make the rules.

Eda joking about the curse being a fate worse than death: Some people might make the audacious claim that joking about a fate worse than death soils the mood. And I would agree with that if this was actually a joke. Instead, it feels more like Eda is brushing off the tension by trying to laugh at it. That is something that many people-myself included-do to make people we care about feel better. To me, it feels pretty clear that Eda laughs about her situation so that Luz doesn't worry about her mentor. This shows how much Luz means to Eda, and we see something similar/more impactful near the end that cements that fact. For now, this "joke" is actually a great character moment when you take a second to analyze it.

Luz’s plan to steal the Healing Hat: Staying on track of development, let's talk about how much this scene reflects growth with Luz and Eda's relationship. Luz's willingness to steal from the emperor, and break who knows how many laws in the process, shows how much Luz cares about Eda. It's sweet to think about, even though it comes by Luz making the dumbest decision in her life. And while Luz's plan would ordinarily be a dislike, what turns things around is the fact that there are immediate consequences to Luz's actions. Eda's curse being permanent? Eda getting captured? Luz nearly dying?! All of this would have been avoided if Luz just stuck with the group instead of working on impulse. And there's not a doubt in my mind that's what she was thinking during her long trek home (more on that later). So, yeah. While Luz's plan was misguided, it still has the sweetest of intentions while also showing kids that bad stuff happens when you don't think things through.

Amity staying at home: Narratively speaking, this was a great decision. Amity acts as the voice of reason to Luz's antics. So if she went on the trip too, then she would have talked Luz out of the heist. And the writers found a brilliant workaround by having Amity break her leg in the last episode, to work as an excuse for why she isn't in this one. In fact, let's add more points to "Wing it Like Witches" for planning ahead. That alone makes it more clear about how that episode isn't filler.

Eda knits the cape for Luz: While Luz stealing the Healing Hat shows how much Eda means to her, Eda knitting the cape shows the feelings are very much mutual. It's made pretty evident in the beginning that Eda's planning to use the magic silk to protect herself. So having her instantly make the cape for Luz without a second thought is just the sweetest thing. And you know what? Who's to say that Eda wasn't planning to make the cape anyway? And Eda saying that the silk was for her was just a diversion to throw Luz off? Because if that's the case, then boy does that ending break my heart even more.

(Also, this acts as a fantastic setup for why Luz has a cape that makes her invulnerable to the Emperor's magic in the next episode. At least, I think that's the case going off of what Eda says in the beginning.)

The picture of Luz: Ok, am I the only one who would absolutely love an explanation for this picture? Yeah, it's obvious that Luz got into an eating contest to the death, but how did she even get stuck in this contest? Why was she even in this contest? And why was Eda so proud of this moment that she decided to frame it?

Screw the fanfictions of angst and/or Lumity fluff. Someone write a fanfic about THAT!

The tour of the castle: I talked about in my "Wing it Like Witches" review that I like how the show uses teaching the students as a way to give lore to the audience. And that's what Kikimora's tour does. It uses the student's willingness to learn as a way for the fans to learn more about the lore of the show. However, while these bits of background information is nice and all, there's one question I want to bring up:

How honest is this little history lesson about Emperor Belos? Because do you know who’s the one that can make sure history remembers Belos as a kind and just ruler who united the Boiling Isles? My guess is it's the same person who appointed himself as emperor.

Just a little thing to think about, if you ask me.

The Room of Relics: Gonna tell ya the truth: Seeing all of those relics made the inner child in me go, "Oooh. Shiney."

I'm not kidding when I say that I would love to learn more about each of those relics we see in this episode. I want to learn more about each relic's origins, which track they belong to, and what the hell they even do. And it's not often that I feel this way. Hell, I'm mostly the guy who never gives a crap about lore. But you better believe that if Dana Terrace ever writes a book explaining all of these relics, that I'll be the first to buy it.

Emperor Belos: ...Eep…

I'm not kidding when I say that "Eep" is the best way for me to describe Emperor Belos. The reason that makes Belos feel like a terrifying and opposing character is the same way Darth Vader and Thanos are terrifying and opposing. He's a character that feels like a force of nature that is so powerful, he could probably kill you just by blinking. And it's no wonder why Lilith was so terrified to fail him in the last episode. I'd be terrified just to look at the man without his permission! And that was before it was implied that he sacrifices witches who are covenless!

But, Belos frightening the crap out of me isn't the only reason why he's an excellent villain. What makes him great is that in his debut scene, we learn so much about him...and yet have so many more questions. Like, how can he talk to the titan? What's up with the giant beating heart on top of his throne? Why is he sacrificing witches and discarded palisman to give him power? What the f**k is up with the giant beating heart on top of his throne? Why are there pipes littered throughout his castle? AND WHAT! THE F**K! IS UP! WITH THE GIANT! BEATING! HEART! ON! TOP! OF! HIS! THRONE?!?!

Questions like these help make Belos more interesting of a character that I would love to learn more about. Even though seeing him makes me physically shrink in my chair.

Gus being told that he’s already his best self: I mean, this is just sweet. My man Gus needs more love, dang it!

Eda vs. Lilith: It's like the animators saw the first fight between Eda and Lilith and asked, "How can we make this more awesome?" Turns out, the answer is to make the fight more like an anime than the first one. And MAN, was it successful! However, being epic is not the main reason why it's a captivating fight scene. Because as excellent as it was to see Eda and Lilith fight for the first time, their battle lacked one crucial element that’s in their second fight: Tension. Eda's curse getting worse with each spell and Luz being in constant danger adds so much more tension to this fight. And as a result, it becomes more entertaining to watch Eda fight knowing the odds are highly stacked against her. Because even though Eda was destined to lose, you still hope for the best that she'll somehow win. Which makes her ultimate defeat all the more heartbreaking.

LILITH CURSED EDA?!: What?! WHAT?!

I mean, I expected Eda to lose and get captured. That was something I saw a mile away since watching the promo a few months ago. But revealing that Lilith is the one who cursed Eda?! I could have never predicted that! It was such a shocking revelation that I cannot wait to see how the show handles this going forward. Because, the way I see it, Eda is cutting ties with Lilith after this episode. Even if Lilith has some sort of logical explanation, none of it will matter to Eda. Hell, it already doesn't matter to the fans, who are already jumping on the "Kick Lilith's teeth in" train. As for me, I'm going to wait for the actual explanation before I make any judgments. It is made pretty clear that Lilith regrets what she's done in not only in this episode but through small interactions with Eda in the past. It might not justify her actions, but I am still willing to hear the full story before I come to the conclusion that Lilith must burn in hell. Unless her reasoning was petty revenge or jealousy. In which case, I would like to introduce Lilith to my good friend Frederick Ulisinsburg.

*Lifts up middle finger*

You can call him F.U. for short.

Eda’s goodbye to Luz: Everything about this moment is gutwrenching perfection. I want to start off by talking about the fact that Eda smiles as she's saying goodbye. Earlier I touched upon that Eda joked about having a fate worse than death was an attempt to relieve tension off of Luz. And it's the same thing here. Eda smiling is the only way she can convey to Luz that everything's going to be ok so that her protege won't be upset about their situation. There are just two things that betray Eda during this sentiment. The first is her voice. You can tell that Eda is trying her best to stay emotionally stable for Luz, but it's clear how she's really feeling through each crack in her voice. And credit goes to Wendie Malick for giving such a marvelous performance in this scene. The second thing that betrays Eda is her eyes. Every ounce of pain and sadness that Eda is feeling at this moment can be seen through her eyes. Don't believe me? Then watch this scene again, cover Eda's mouth, and focus on the eyes. You'll see what I'll mean.

And her last word to Luz being "Thank you for being in my life." That cuts deep man...IT CUTS DEEP...GAH!

Luz walks home: It's the moments that you don't experience that can have the most weight to them. We, as the audience, have no idea what happened with Luz as she walked all the way back to the Owl House. But the things we can imagine are much worse. The guilt Luz must be feeling during this walk, as every awful thing that she experienced replays in her mind, like a broken record. The idea of Luz going through something like that just...It just breaks the heart.

“Where’s Eda?”: It's the innocent way that King asks this question is what makes it sad. It shows the childlike naivety in King's character, and imagining what his reaction would be to the truth, makes it even more tear jerking.

Luz cries: Nope. Nope! NOPE!

I will accept a lot of things from this episode. Eda getting captured? Sure. Luz having a literal guilt trip? Why not? King getting to learn the hard way about what happened to Eda? Go for it! But you know what I won't accept? LUZ F**KING CRYING! I'm being one-hundred percent serious when I say that it physically hurts to look at that one single image. Even just thinking about it is enough to make me misty-eyed. And I HATE IT! I mean, I love it because the show successfully made me feel the exact emotions that I should feel. BUT I HATE IT!

WHAT I DISLIKED

I honestly wish I could say that there is nothing that I dislike about this episode. I really do. But there is one small thing that-very briefly-took enjoyment out of the episode. And that’s-

The Kids easily sneaking past the guards: Don't get me wrong, the funny antics that our trio pull off are very entertaining. But it shines a bad light on the Emperor's coven, when the best of the best witches get outsmarted by three children. Plus, this is the penultimate episode of the season. I'm not sure goofy hijinks are the way you want to go. Because while The Owl House is a comedy series, even the funniest of comedies know when to make jokes and when to be serious.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But despite that one complaint, I still give this episode an A+. It was emotionally draining, and it makes both more excited and incredibly terrified for the season finale. Because we now know the stakes for the next episode. The question is, how will Luz survive.

Now, I'm sure there are people out there who probably hate this episode, and probably the whole series if you want to get into it. And to those people: I feel bad for you. And I'm not saying that as a joke or as a snarky remark. I legitimately feel bad for you. Because I felt a whole range of emotions not just with one episode, not just with one scene, but with one single frame of animation. That image of Luz crying was more effective in getting a reaction out of me than anything else that came out this year. And the idea that some of you won't feel the same way fills me with even more Agony.

[celestenicolegarcia]

Valentines Day

Valentines Day. A day where people celebrate being in love or having someone to love on. Usually when we think of Valentines Day, we think of spending time with our significant other and having sweet treats and great food. People that are alone however, tend to either be on the spectrum of hating Valentines Day or not even caring about it because it's a government holiday. The annoyed single people hate it because of the sappy couple postings, cheesy romantic comedies, stalking their ex’s profiles to see what they're doing, and themselves spending it alone. 

As a single person myself I can honestly say that I am not upset that I am single this Valentines Day. Maybe its just me getting older and not caring about having someone or maybe I’ve just been tired of the men I have been dating that I don’t feel the need to date anymore. Most of my life I have been in relationships that have the length of 6 months to 3 years being the longest. As far as being in love, I can recall myself truly being in love with a man twice in my lifetime. One was my high school sweetheart and the other was a guy I dated a few years ago, neither shall I say were something I want today, A Godly man.

I don’t know about you but I have had my fair share of men throughout my life. Before I came to know Christ, I was in and out of relationships faster than you could imagine. Some weren’t even real relationships and they were mostly hookups. I did sleep around for money, food, drugs, or just simply wanted the affection. Don’t get it twisted though, even when I found Christ when I was 24 years old I did have a few slip-ups. I still had sex but this time it was within a relationship so I thought it was “okay” since we were together. I just look back at that girl and think man... why didn’t you just run to Jesus when you were lonely? why a warm body? what was going on at home that you had to run off? why did you disobey your parents and screw up your friendships?

A lot of these questions were hard to think of at the time but I simply didn’t care. I just thought since I believed and gave my life to Jesus I was okay and going to heaven. But I was wrong now looking back. Talk about someone who was lost and just wanting a quick fix of affection but not wanting to go to the source. I would always tell myself that I was perfect and that it was the men always screwing up, now I look back at that girl and say get off your high horse and look in the mirror because you are no saint. You are a lukewarm christian trying to make it in the world and not even looking up at the father, only looking at yourself. And that was the breaking point for me to start turning my life around and taking my life more seriously as well as my relationship with God. Attending bible study, going to church, having accountability partners, and managing my own mental health with therapy. Believe me, when I started looking at Jesus and not of the worldly standards my life got clearer but harder at the same time. When you give your life up for Jesus its not always going to be easy, the more you reach up to Him the more the devil is going to wanna block you from your blessings.

 Would you believe me if I told you that I said I’ve never been proposed to? I’m 28 now about to be 29 and I just think to myself sometimes ...why? I’m a good looking woman, attending school online to get my masters degree for psychology, attending church and bible studies, working a part time job doing my hair business since I have my cosmetology license, and I am pretty nice and shall I say funny. Let me tell you, the thoughts of feeling not good enough have come into my mind but I know those are not pure or the right thoughts that Jesus wants me to be thinking. Don’t even get me started on my family members asking me when I’m going to have a baby or pressuring me to adopt. Before you start thinking let me stop you right there and say I love children. I think they are the cutest little people in the world but right now kids are the very last thing on my mind!

I want to encourage you and encourage myself as I feel the Holy Spirit is within me typing up this blog to let you know that you don’t need to be swooped up like in those Disney movies to be truly happy. Let me also say that if you are married or in a relationship am I by no means trying to knock down your union with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep war,. But how can one keep warm alone?” Marriage is a union and should be sacred. Honor your husband and honor your wife, you both are a team made in the image of our Holy Father.

God created us to love one another no matter what. Even if someone else is having what you wish you had, let them be happy in their life. Love them and support them. Be a good friend and helping hand. Whenever you get angry or jealous of someone else's success remember that God isn't finished with you yet! He has more blessings coming your way and just because you aren’t happy yourself does not mean you take out your personal feelings on others. If someone is mean to you or belittling you because you express how you don’t wanna be alone or hurt because you and your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up, take the high road. Don’t let anyone steal your joy because joy can only come from the Lord and no one else. He is after all the one who created happiness! 

I remember when I would take things so personally and I would want to hurt the people who have hurt me. Even if they did deserve to be punished, I know the one who has that power to give me justice. I have yet to type down my testimony on here but I will when I have the time because its pretty lengthy but you will see why I think the way that I do now. Before I used to hold grudges really badly towards the people who have hurt me. When I tell you I have been through the wringer, I mean it. I have been sexually abused by people who I thought would never hurt me, I have been verbally abused by people who I thought would never hurt me and last by not least I have both been verbally and sexually abused from people I hardly even knew. I have been told I am scum of the earth and no one will want me and I have also been told that no one is going to want leftover goods. I have been sexually assaulted in a place of work. I have been raped by a few men in my past. Some I knew and some I didn’t. All those things have stuck with me but they do not define me. The only one who defines me is Jesus Christ and thank God I have a savior because I can’t live this life all by myself, If I try I would probably would have died by now. I have in the past held these situations in my heart and it has caused me so much pain. Trust me, I wanted revenge but I never got it. Then God really brought me down to a place where I forgave them and myself. My anger cannot bring justice for what they have done, only God can. One movie that really sticks out to me is The Shack, now that is a good movie to watch about forgiveness. If you have time, check it out because you won't regret it.

Another verse comes to mind for me is Luke 6 27-33 “But to you who are willing to listen I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from. you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you only love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!”

Jesus said that when we love people even when they have hurt us. We have to be the ones that rise up from the earthy things going on in the world. I know I tended to go a little off topic but days like this remind me of my past and it brings me to the present. I want to let you know that you aren't alone today. You do have a valentine and his name is Jesus Christ. He will always be perfect. He will never leave you. He will always be there for you no matter what time of the day or night it is. He will never call you names or do things to hurt you, only help you become the best version of yourself. Valentines Day is a fun holiday but it does not define who love truly is. Love is a person and His name is Jesus. I encourage you to reach out to someone today, even if you aren’t feeling like it. Tell someone you love them today and you are there for them. Tell them that you are thinking of them. Jesus loves you and He will never let you go. I remember when my pastor said this line and ill never forget it. “Once you let Him in, He won't move out!” and I firmly believe that til the day I die. 

If you haven’t already and you would like to give your life to Jesus today repeat after me. Jesus, I need you. I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. But I need a savior and I’m ready for my life to change for the better. Take me out of myself and let me live the life you promised for me. I love you. I accept you into my life. I welcome you. Amen.

Thank you for taking the time to read my second blog post! I really enjoy doing these posts. They help me vent what I feel and I want to let someone know that they are loved today! 

Much love,

Celeste

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The 21 Best Christmas Horror Movies

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Technicolor lights are about to illuminate every other home in the neighborhood; carolers are marching through the streets; even that old tree in Rockefeller is shining brightly.

For some folks, that’s enough to make you want to grab an axe. But don’t do that. Watch demented men dressed as Santa Claus or a demon Krampus indulge your Anti-Christmas sentiments with maximum gore. Indeed, this list isn’t about the most charming, heartwarming, or schmaltzy Christmas viewing traditions. Nah, this is about the 20 grossest, nastiest, and all around most fun Christmas horror movies. The kind where the greatest gift you’re going to get on Christmas morning is escaping with your life and maybe some psychological triggers whenever you see jolly men in red suits.

Yep, these are the very best Christmas horror movies. Ho. Freaking. Ho.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Almost certainly one of the sweetest, most positive, and upbeat Christmas movies on the list is this wonderful feel good musical romance from director John McPhail, which also happens to be a zombie movie. It follows a group of friends in a small Scottish town who are just about to finish school and are making plans for the future when a zombie outbreak lands. 

Incredibly catchy tunes which take inspiration from Buffy musical episode Once More With Feeling, mix with inventive festive kills – zombie snowman decapitation is a highlight – in a way that manages not to tonally jar. It’s mostly thanks to the super-likeable performances of the young cast, headed up by Ella Hunt, and the teenage troubles, romances, and heartbreak which form the backdrop of the movie. Paul Kaye also pops up as the school’s tyrannical headmaster – his musical numbers aren’t the best but he brings cartoon villain energy to an unusual but rather adorable Christmas horror that’s way better than you might expect.

– Rosie Fletcher

Better Watch Out (2016)

Home Alone is surely one of the most popular and iconic Christmas movies of all time, though it is not, of course, a horror. However, if it was, it would look something like Better Watch Out, a slick reinvention of the home invasion sub-genre. Olivia DeJonge plays babysitter Ashley, who attempts to protect her charge, 12-year-old Luke (Levi Miller), when they are threatened by intruders in his home. But all is not as it seems.

DeJonge and Miller spar beautifully in a movie which plays with gender and coming of age tropes and includes handfuls of gruesome set pieces, while Ed Oxenbould brings comic relief. This is clever, funny and gruesome stuff from director Chris Peckover which might not become a new Christmas tradition but should definitely be watched at least once.

– Rosie Fletcher

Black Christmas (1974)

Getting stabbed by a unicorn head to the tune of carolers singing “Silent Night” is probably not how you want to spend Christmas Eve. This pre-Scream holiday slasher claims its victims in a sorority house haunted by creepy phone calls (sans ghost mask), demonic noises, bodies eerily shrouded in plastic wrap, and one perverse killer whose voice alone is enough to freeze your blood.

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When an unidentified caller keeps harassing your entire sorority house with obscene things you can only half-understand (because he sounds like a deranged Donald Duck that laughs like the Joker), you should run even if it is 10 degrees outside. The blizzard of murders keeps raging with one victim dragged screaming by a hook, and another bludgeoned to death. Never mind the one suffocated by plastic wrap and left next to the window like the vacant face of a doll staring out into the night. You’ll hardly sleep in heavenly peace after this one.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) (1980)

In his one and only film as writer/director, Lewis Jackson crafted a smart and clever black comedy that’s more character study than straight horror film. John Waters insists it’s a comedy about a closeted transvestite (of a sort), but it’s much more than that—it’s the Taxi Driver of Yuletide shockers. Brandon Maggart plays a man who takes Christmas way too seriously. His home is filled with bright holiday decorations all year-round while Christmas carols are playing on the stereo. Santa is his role model, a symbol of all that is good and just in the world. He even works at a toy factory.

He so identifies with Santa, he takes to spying on the neighbor kids, keeping his own carefully annotated naughty and nice lists. But when he recognizes the level of cynicism and hypocrisy among his co-workers, bosses, and the people around town as the most joyous time of the year approaches, well, he goes a little funny in the head. He reaches for the suit and beard and axe, determined to reward the good and punish the evil.

Maggart has since tried to desperately distance himself from the film, but he gives a remarkable performance here as a completely isolated figure with a head swimming with both joy and rage. In the end, the film remains king of the sub-subgenre. Screw It’s a Wonderful Life and Rudolph. Apart from Blast of Silence and Invasion U.S.A., Christmas Evil is the only holiday film I watch annually.

– Jim Knipfel 

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

Admittedly, a number of horror-based Christmas movie have gone with the anthology angle for their storytelling. Hell, this isn’t even the only anthology film on this list. A Christmas Horror Story may not be on a lot of people’s radar, but it’s a worthy installment that goes to some unusual places purely because both the Christmas and anthology playgrounds have gotten so bloated at this point. This film also benefits from being executed by a cabal of directors who are responsible for directing some of the best horror movies to come out of Canada in passing years, such as Splice, the Black Christmas remake, and the Ginger Snaps trilogy.

A Christmas Horror Story deliciously uses a radio DJ (William Shatner) as the connective tissue that holds together the four stories that comprise the film. Parables on ghost possession, clone doppelgangers, Krampus, and zombie elves all get their due here. The film also has a pretty inspired ending that actually casts the picture in a whole new light. It’s got Santa Claus fighting Krampus. What’s not to like?

– Daniel Kurland 

Dead of Night (1945)

Never play hide and go seek in a house where someone was murdered. While it might be best known for Michael Redgrave’s night-terror-inducing ventriloquist dummy scene that sparked the phobia of possessed puppets, Dead of Night also invites you to a Christmas party with a spectral guest. Spacecase Sally’s genuine terror at realizing what she thinks she saw is what she really saw will forever have you second-guessing shadows creeping in the cold. 

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What is obvious in this scene—encroaching darkness and shadows looming over what a place you know is haunted without ever having to hear the big reveal—is hardly as chilling as what is not so obvious until the truth silently materializes. The ghost of the little boy plays hide-and-seek with the other children as if warm blood courses through his veins. Unlike many stereotypical see-through phantoms of the era, this one doesn’t have that telltale translucence which would set off a chorus of screams. Being almost disturbingly normal is exactly what makes him so terrifying. 

– Elizabeth Rayne 

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Eyes Wide Shut was the non-denominational star at the top of Stanley Kubrick’s Christmas tree. Originally conceived as a Woody Allen vehicle, it almost starred Steve Martin after Allen insisted on reading the script from right to left. It is as much a cautionary tale as Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, bringing the whole family together with a different Christmas tree in almost every frame.  

Kubrick pours on the cheer from the opening sequence at the Christmas party where the first gifts are unwrapped, and oh boy are they unwrapped. Bill Harford, played by Tom Cruise, dives right into the muffled spirit of giving after he performs a more than charitable deed for the party’s host, played by Sydney Pollack.

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Harford spends most of the film looking for the perfect gift like a slow motion version of Jingle All the Way, rushing around from New York City’s famous toy repository FAO Schwartz to downtown specialty shops, to the suburbs, where he can find collectors’ editions. Cruise pays Harford like a wooden windup toy, and not a particularly cute one, either. In spite of all the colorful lights and trips above and below the rainbow, Harford just can’t get into the Christmas spirit. He’s not even moved by the uplifting seasonal tunings of “I Want a Boy for Christmas” by the Del-Vettes. He recovers his seasonal facilities while humming along to the chant during the climactic illuminati sex party, though! The song is actually “Here Comes Santa Claus” sung backwards in Latin, adding more menace to the proceedings than Silas Barnaby brought to Toyland in The March of the Wooden Soldiers.

– Tony Sokol 

Gremlins (1984)

Santa doesn’t exist… unless it’s your father in a red suit who met his untimely end trying to slide down the chimney with a sack of presents before getting stuck. Don’t tell that to the innocent bat-like ears of a harmless (for now) Mogwai. It’s exactly the kind of story you expect to hear while hunkering down in the shadows with a flashlight while a bunch of leathery green things with too many teeth ransack the neighborhood.

And as for Santa? That smell coming from the fireplace weeks later was no dead cat. Worst. Christmas story. Ever. 

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This movie should be on every hardcore horror fan’s holiday playlist just for the musical monstrosity of those reptilian things decked out in Santa hats and earmuffs singing “Deck the Halls” at the neighbors’ door, sheet music and all. This is continuing proof that animals have a sixth sense, because her yowling cat senses something off about the voices warbling “Joy to the World” outside. She’s right to have an aversion to Christmas carolers.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

Holidays (2015)

There have been so many holiday-themed horror films at this point—reaching Christmas and going far, far beyond that—so why not make an anthology film that takes that idea to the extreme? Holidays hits the expected staples such as Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day, but part of the fun here is how holidays with lesser expectations like Easter or St. Patrick’s Day deliver some truly horrifying content (seriously, the St. Patrick’s Day segment is disturbing, bonkers chaos).

The Christmas segment comes courtesy of Scott Stewart (Legion) and has Seth Green trying to survive the holiday as he attempts to get his son the perfect gift. Stewart’s installment feels very reminiscent of a Black Mirror episode with virtual reality, consumerism, and the dangers of mob mentality all playing their part here.

A lot of these anthology films also try to bank off of the name recognition and notoriety of the assembled directors, but Holidays proudly features a collection of mostly fresh faces (although Kevin Smith and Starry Eye’s Kevin Kolsch contribute segments). It’s fun to discover a bunch of new blossoming talents here.

– Daniel Kurland 

Jack Frost (1997)

This ain’t the cringeworthy father/son bonding vehicle starring Michael Keaton. No, this is the Jack Frost where the killer snowman’s nose functions as both a killing tool and a device to sexually assault his victims. All square? But hey, at the least the film isn’t afraid to ride its ridiculous premise as hard as possible.

First of all, an actual killer named Jack Frost crashes into a truck of “genetics material” that causes him to transform into this cold abomination in the first place. That sets the tone pretty nicely for the abundant murders, sex, and plot holes that plague the town of Snowmonton (yup). It’s hard to believe that this film got made, with all of the visuals being some real spectacles that you don’t typically see in the horror genre.

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Jack Frost is the perfect Christmas horror film to shut your brain off and watch, or the title that you should be selecting right in the middle of your deep eggnog haze. It’s utter nonsense, but it knows that it is and has tons of fun with itself. We need more talented individuals trying to tap into the killer snowman subgenre. There’s still a true classic waiting to come to life here.

– Daniel Kurland 

Krampus (2015)

Morbidly funny in its anti-holiday sarcasm and ridiculous demons, Krampus is like a mashup of the Griswolds, the Grinch, and every mythical beast that has ever been rumored to devour children on the naughty list. You’d rather get coal in your stocking than a killer jack-in-the-box jump scare… or find chilling hoof prints in the snow that are definitely not from Rudolph.

Krampus is one Yuletide monster actually worse than the Grinch. The grisly inspiration for this tale is a Germanic one about a hairy, horned, and cloven-hooved demon who stuffs naughty children in his sack and either beats them with a wooden switch or eats them (depending on who you ask). Also, his heart won’t grow three sizes from gorging on human flesh, either.

This version of Krampus is also hungry for anyone who’s lost their holiday spirit—whether or not you otherwise qualify for the nice list. Watch this with the lights off for the full effect of the power outage that works to the creature’s advantage as he goes hunting for holiday nonbelievers. Kids, don’t scorn Santa or Krampus will come to collect you.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

There are some of us who know this movie verbatim and to the point where we will shamelessly break out singing “This is Halloween” and raise Jack’s quasi-Shakespearean monologue from the dead even in the middle of July. Or keep warning people that tragedy’s at hand. Or correct anyone who says there are 365 days until next Halloween by growling “364!” The stop-motion animation saga of the talking skeleton turned “Sandy Claws” bewitched an entire generation of ‘90s kids. 

Even people who hate Halloween will stare with delight and awe when Jack’s skull bursts out of a snowdrift, and he first puts colored lights in his eye sockets and explores every “what’s this?” in Christmas Town like a spook in a coffin shop. You just can’t help but love the adventurous skeleton, even if he does end up making haunted houses out of people’s living rooms on Christmas Eve. Whether you’d rather be making Christmas with strangely somber carols, reanimated reindeer or toys that bite back, it’s now an officially unofficial holiday classic.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

P2 (2007)

On the sillier end of the Christmas horror spectrum comes P2, a film named after a section in a parking lot, starring Wes Bentley and Rachel Nichols. She’s a business woman trapped in a multi-story parking garage on Christmas Eve, he’s the insane Security Guard who’s obsessed with her and really wants her to try his festive eggnog, so to speak. 

Camp and gory, this is the directorial debut of Franck Khalfoun who would follow it up with a remake of Maniac. The movie was co-written by Alexandre Aja who made one of the greatest cat-and-mousers ever in Switchblade Romance. The set up is formulaic, perhaps, but the game performances and relentlessness of the action makes this worthwhile. And if that’s not enough check out a deranged Bentley dressed as Santa, for the angel on the top of the Christmas tree.

– Rosie Fletcher

Rare Exports (2010)

There couldn’t possibly be a more sinister place to search for Santa’s ancient burial mound than in the frigid depths of Lapland. It’s the same supposedly enchanted place Dick van Dyke hiked to in the search for Santa in an ‘80s musical Christmas special, except this time you won’t find him in a cozy cottage with stockings hung by the chimney with care. You won’t find the guy in red from the mall, but anything that takes a disembodied pig’s head as bait couldn’t possibly be jingle-belling on a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer, especially when he seems to have a ravenous appetite for said reindeer. 

This time, “the spirit of the season” is literally the most malicious Christmas spirit that has ever terrorized the Yuletide. Even if you watch the whole thing in Finnish and don’t understand a word except the screaming, the ghost of the child in you that really did believe there was a guy in the North Pole will be forever traumatized. This glaze-eyed zombie incarnation of Mr. Claus doesn’t laugh like a bowl full of jelly. You better watch out, indeed.

– Elizabeth Rayne

Santa Claws (1996)

You do have to wonder what happened to John Russo along the line. 30 years after co-writing Night of the Living Dead, he came up with this decidedly sleazy but sadly unoriginal wonderment, which was much more focused on boobs than Yuletide butchery. In what by that point had become a battered cliché of the Slasher Santa subgenre, a young boy named Wayne (Grant Kramer) sees his mom having sex with a man wearing a Santa hat (!), and so murders them both. I’m not exactly sure how this transference would work in Freudian terms, but when he gets older, he a) becomes obsessed with a low-budget scream queen named Raven (played by low-budget scream queen Debbie Rochon) and b) decides he’s Santa.

As you might imagine, stalking someone when you’re wearing a Santa suit is no mean feat, but Wayne gives it his best shot. Most of the film, however, focuses on Raven and her extended family as she gets undressed a lot and wonders not only why that creep in the Santa suit keeps showing up everywhere, but why everyone around her keeps dying in a particularly bloody fashion. It can feel like there are two films going on here, a by-the-numbers stalker/slasher movie and a holiday horror film, which leaves me thinking Russo had one of them in mind, but after some eight-year-old smarty-pants came up with that clever “Santa Claws” pun, well, he just had to run with it.

– Jim Knipfel

Santa’s Slay (2005)

Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people. Hence why you can’t not watch a holiday horror flick in which Santa is the Antichrist, sentenced to 1,000 years of delivering gifts after losing a curling match with an angel, and played by former pro wrestler Bill “Who’s Next?” Goldberg.

As the only son of Satan (you know what they say about rearranging the letters in that name) whose grim legend is immortalized in the Book of Claus, he can now at last spread Christmas fear with weapons, karate kicks, hand grenades, exploding presents, and his own perverse idea of what “Ho ho ho” should really mean. Them’s the breaks once the bet’s terms are done.

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Santa’s methods of murder are fiendishly festive—to say the least. There is no naughty or nice list when it comes to an insatiable appetite for violence. He even knocks out poseurs in red suits and drives a sleigh with a rocket engine like it’s the Batmobile. Mall Santas everywhere are shaking in their pleather boots.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Naughty children get punished with more than just a stocking full of coal in this Christmas chiller. Just the opening scene with all those empty-eyed animatronic toys haunting a window display after-hours should tell you that this is not a movie that’s going to end in visions of sugarplums. Forget that it’s supposed to be the season of all things magical. Those things can be more terrifying than every single plastic skeleton and gaping zombie mask you’ll ever see in a haunted house around Halloween.

You’d better watch out for that psycho in the red suit who grabs a hatchet off the wall as if it was his bag full of toys and packs an automatic pistol in his fur-lined pocket, murdering misbehaving kids he’s been watching undercover of shadow. This sadistic Santa clearly doesn’t believe in sliding down chimneys—and the only red he’s interested in wearing is the blood of innocents. If that won’t convince you to stay awake because he sees you when you’re sleeping, you must be Freddie Krueger.

– Elizabeth Rayne

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Three years after the shit-storm sparked by the original’s ad campaign, some smart cookie decided a sequel was necessary. A tough call there, given most all the principals were killed off pretty thoroughly the first time around, but still, right?

But there was money to be made, so they brought in an untested director (Lee Harry), a mostly untested crew, and a cast of mostly non-professional actors. After a half-dozen writers took a swipe at the script, they came up with a confounding but tepid rehash of the first film. This time around, and mostly in flashback, we learn that after the first killer Santa was sloppily dispatched at the end of Part 1, his brother Ricky becomes determined to uncover what went wrong.

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He pays a visit to the sadistic Mother Superior at the Catholic asylum where his brother had been kept, and before you can say “ho ho ho,” Ricky ends up donning the red and white suit himself to do a little rampaging, though without nearly half of his brother’s imagination. They even used the same fucking poster design, just slapped a “2” on it. I guess hoping they might raise the same sort of ruckus the first one had. Sadly, it was too late for that.

– Jim Knipfel 

Sint (2010)

Dutch director Dick Maas took some early steps toward Krampus territory with his re-imagining of the legend of the warm-hearted Saint Nick. Borrowing heavily from earlier Italian, Spanish, and American horror films, as well as Danish folklore, “Sinterklaas” here was actually a bloodthirsty medieval murderer and all around brute who oversaw a savage reign of terror. Finally fed up with all his nonsense, the ornery local villagers banded together on the night of Dec. 5 and lynched him. As per tradition, however, in the moments before he died Sinterklaas vowed vengeance from beyond the grave, promising to return every 32 years on that very night to do bad and icky things to the villagers’ descendants.

Over the centuries, the story was mainstreamed and soft-pedaled, becoming part of the local folklore. The character of Saint Nick became much more benevolent and child-friendly so as not to scare the wee folk. Then, well, wouldn’t you know it? That anniversary creeps around again, Sinterklaas is true to his word, and Amsterdam turns all bloody, leaving it up to an intrepid teenager named Frank to put a stop to the mayhem.

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A stylish, wicked, and hugely entertaining take on the darker history of a beloved legend. It was also the top grossing film in Denmark in 2010, which either says something about the Danish film industry or the Dutch themselves.

– Jim Knipfel

Tales From the Crypt: And All Through the House (1972)

The Crypt Keeper first emerged as a ghoulish EC Comics horror host in the pages of Tales From the Crypt who crawled onto the big screen in this horror anthology, welcoming unknowing tourists to his catacombs with bony arms open. What the tourists don’t know is that they’re all recently deceased. The invite is to a subterranean story-time in which he unearths the gruesome details of their deaths with a gap-toothed grin. Creatures are obviously stirring when killer wife Joanne is stalked by a homicidal Santa in this warped homage to ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas titled (appropriately enough) “… And All Through the House.”

So it is that “O Come All Ye Faithful” is interrupted while playing on the radio by a scratchy warning of a homicidal maniac run amok. And wouldn’t you just know it, this occurs right as Joan Collins is offing her husband with a shot to the head—and then realizes she has to dismember the body before cashing in on his life insurance. Her blissfully naïve daughter lets the killer jolly old elf in, shrieking that Santa finally came before he erupts into psychopathic rage. Clement C. Moore must be turning in his grave.

– Elizabeth Rayne 

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Certainly less purely Christmas-y than other entries on this list, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is nonetheless a wintry delight set during the holiday season. Carols play ominously in the background during key moments, and the immaculately snowy white setting of Snow Hollow, Utah is broken only by splashes of color from lights on homes and Christmas trees. Oh yes, and the blood of the titular werewolf’s victims.

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Jim Cummings’ film is heavy on cozy, ski town holiday atmosphere without leaning on its actual Christmastime setting at all. But good werewolf movies are a rare breed indeed these days, and a werewolf movie set at Christmas? Well…now you know what to watch when the moon is full each December

Mike Cecchini

Got any other suggestions for Christmas horror movies that we missed? Let us know in the comments!

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Precure Day 185

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 37 - “Operation Healthy Coco” Date watched: 14 May 2020 Original air date: 21 October 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/Sc5B6vA Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

what has been seen cannot be unseen

I might get some crap for this but I don’t particularly like this episode either. I think Bloody just had an absolutely fantastic introduction so everything after it for a while is going to feel a bit lackluster. Not to say it doesn’t have some great moments, but.... well, you’ll see.

The Plot

Coco has been scarfing down the cream puffs lately, and the girls are starting to notice when he struggles to push himself up. He appears very rotund as a fairy, but transforms human and says he’s fine. However, Nuts lifts his friend’s shirt to prove otherwise.

make of that what you will

We are never shown exactly what he looks like, but the girls responses tell us all we need to know. Urara in particular is fairly blunt, saying he had a fat and pudgy stomach. Nozomi is pretty okay with it, but she changes her tune when Karen and Rin point out that the problem is his diet and lack of exercise, not just getting chubby. Milk takes charge and puts him on a diet.

Over in Nightmare, Kawarino offhandedly mentions that Gamao was useless, which disturbs Bunbee because he didn’t realize his last employee had been so carelessly killed. Hadenya tells him to get over it and then sets out.

Coco’s diet is going well, except for all the times he tries to sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night to grab some cream puffs, or sneak some into his lunchbox. He gets outright depressed when he can’t eat some, so the girls conspire with Milk to make him a special meal. It goes about as well as the last time they tried to cook together. One night, Coco sneaks out of his room to the kitchen for some cream puffs, and instead finds the best gag in the episode: the fridge is completely empty except for an exercise wheel.

I just imagine Nuts going through the effort to empty the fridge and store all the food somewhere else, all so he could put this wheel in there when Coco inevitably tried to sneak a bite. So yes, Nuts shows up and says getting exercise is important as well as he demonstrates the use of the wheel. A+ television here.

Another day, Coco is out walking and smells the all-too familiar scent of choux creme. He finds a food truck selling them, and the sweet lady who runs it (who is definitely not Hadenya) offers him free samples!

He almost takes it, but he thinks about the girls, Milk, and even Nuts all working hard to help him eat more healthily, and refuses. Hadenya wolfs down the plate and then turns the food truck into a Kowaina, and throws Coco into the cabin, high enough where he’d hurt himself if he jumped. The girls catch wind of this and show up to fight. They feel their hands are tied because they don’t want to hurt Coco, and Hadenya says she’ll give him back if they give her the Dream Collet. She further taunts them by saying Coco ate cream puffs. However, what is supposed to be a damning claim gets brushed aside because aside from not being true, the girls know Coco has a stronger will than that, and he wouldn’t break his vow like that. Dream persuades Coco to jump so that she can catch him, and then they safely take out the Kowaina.

Back at Natts House, the girls surprise Coco with the fruits of their labor: special vegetarian cream puffs! Coco can see the burns and cuts on their bodies as a sign of how hard they worked so he tries one, and it’s delicious! But then Milk steps in to say he shouldn’t have any more or he’ll relapse on his diet, and tries to eat the rest. Karen points out that Milk has been eating an awful lot lately, and has gotten rather chubby herself. Everyone agrees Milk should get some exercise as well, and the last scene of the episode would be great for the “Inhuman Anime Girl Sounds” Twitter, as Milk lets out a cry.

The Analysis

If you’re not aware, Japan is a very skinny culture, with an obesity rate of about 4% (compare to the US’s 40+%), and in 2008 the federal government enacted the Metabo Law which set a universal maximum acceptable waist measurement for men and women ages 40 to 75, with financial penalties for local governments and companies that had large levels of noncompliance. I couldn’t find a whole lot of information on stigma against overweight people in daily life, but in general the only socially acceptable fat people are sumo wrestlers. All of that is to say that, while they do mostly treat Coco’s weight as the butt of the joke, there is some progressive thinking going on as well, in that their concern is less purely that he’s getting fat as much as it is the fact that he’s not eating a balanced diet. It’s an important distinction to make, and the driving force of the rest of the episode is getting him to eat healthy, not JUST losing weight. It’s not a bad premise but I don’t think they make the most of the idea, the episode is largely comprised of gags about Coco trying to sneak a bite and being told “no”.

Most notably, Nozomi doesn’t seem very bothered by Coco’s weight gain. She takes it in stride, saying a little fat isn’t so bad. It’s only when they mention his unhealthy diet that she says “oh no that’s not okay” and that’s a pretty good way to take it. After all, if he’s chubby, there’s more of him to love, but if he’s not healthy, then he may die an early death. Perspective.

Now, it seems like they writers are trying to drawing a comparison between Coco and Hadenya with her remarks about eating everything, as if eating makes you a bad person, or being fat is evil, but...... it just doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. She’s evil because she takes enjoyment in the suffering of others, Gamao was evil because he didn’t care about the feelings of others and just wanted personal gain, neither of them were evil because of their eating habits. It’s a weird thing to throw in there and it doesn’t tell us anything more about Hadenya except that she’s impulsive, so...... it falls flat. Honestly the most interesting thing she did this episode was try to poison Coco..... at least I think that’s what the goal was? She ate them herself when he refused so maybe they were fine but then what was her goal? just to say “Haha you cheated on your diet and now the Precure won’t be friends with you, and they’ll hand over the Dream Collet”? That doesn’t make ANY sense, even if she planned to trap Coco in the Kowaina. And for that matter how did she even know he was on a diet? I would have assumed she was just tempting him because his love of choux creme is well-known, but when she’s taunting the cures she specifically lies and says he cheated on his diet, so...... it’s just weird. Come to think of it, poisoning him before they got the Dream Collet isn’t the smartest thing either, so it was just a bad plan all around. I applaud the plan if only for how extra she got with it, Hadenya isn’t typically one for disguises.

The highlight of this episode is easily the cooking segment. I would call that the saving grace, even. The comedy is so on point, I want to watch an entire series of these girls’ hijinks in the kitchen. The last time we got this was in episode 15, when they all cook for Nozomi’s ill mother, and well..... some of them have not learned. Karen still screws up portion sizes, Urara’s just kinda clumsy, and Komachi still wants to add youkan to porridge, although this actually works out. But anyway, the comic timing of their kitchen antics is absolutely perfect and I love how they play off of each other, with Rin and now Milk being the lone voices of reason. This is what Kirakira could have been (we’ll talk about that eventually). The payoff to it all is really good, too, the vegetarian choux cremes they make look delicious and if you check the gallery I included their detailed directions for making them. No portion sizes but it’s an idea to try out. Tag me if you do!

And lastly some bookkeeping:

The “dokkoisho” that Coco and later Milk utter when they fall is an old colloquial term, basically like “heave ho”. In general it implies putting strength towards something, and in this case suggests that they’re struggling to push themselves up because they’re heavy. From what I can tell, it originates with Hokkaido fishing villages and was popularized in their sea shanties.

The kowaina’s voice is higher pitched than normal, and I’m not sure why. It seems to be the same actress as usual.

The shot of Milk with the sign is very exploitable and my friend @precurehoroscopes has made a version you can play with:

Next time, man this series is full of ideas that would get explored fully in later shows isn’t it? Milk is rewriting the story of Cinderella with the girls as the characters and it’s..... a trip. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 2 kettei!

[therainroguefanfiction]

Poisoned (Woozi)

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, AU, School, Crossover, Romance ☁

Word Count: 3,635 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Jihoon ☁

World: Kpop, Seventeen ft. GOT7 and Topp Dogg/Xeno-T ☁

Prompt:  “Oh, this has got to be the most disgusting thing ever – here, taste it!”

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You sat in the back of your Home Economics class, watching the pair in front of you with pure amazement. Mingyu and Jaebum were the power duo of the class, getting a perfect grade on every dish they made. You just couldn’t understand how they made such amazing food with no effort.

“Yah, stop daydreaming and help me.” Your partner, Byungjoo, nudged you in the side with a scowl.

“It’s just ramen, Bjoo, how hard is it to make?” You questioned, lazily, choosing instead to lean back in your chair.

“With that attitude, you’ll never impress Jihoon.” He pointed the spoon at you with a frown before turning back to the ramen.

You also frowned, sliding down in your chair. Your eyes landed on the boy in question, positioned on the opposite side of the room, working with his partner, Jinyoung. You’ve been crushing on the blonde boy since he stood up for you in middle school, but since you had different social circles, you found it hard to talk to him. None of your friends knew him, so it was a struggle to find a way to work yourself into his life. That didn’t stop you from trying to come up with a solution, though.

You sighed in frustration, letting your head fall onto the table. “What am I gonna do?”

Byungjoo patted your back half-heartedly as he focused on the soup. “On the bright side, it’s movie night.”

That did make you feel a bit better. “Can I choose the movie this time?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care, but you know how picky Jiho is.”

Byungjoo, Jiho and yourself have been best friends ever since you were tots in diapers. As you grew older, the bond between you became stronger until the three of you became a family, supporting each other through life’s twists and turns. To celebrate this bond and to face the reality that you all would probably split ways after high school, Jiho started hosting a movie night. Every Friday, the three of you would gather on his couch and watch several movies, usually chosen by Jiho himself. It was a small frame of time where you forgot about everything else, stuffed your face with various snacks, and enjoyed the company of your brothers.

When school ended, you and Byungjoo raced off to the local movie rental store, Blickbuster. The blonde kept sneaking around the isles trying to see which genre and movie you were choosing, but he was soon cornered by a couple of girls from school who may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with him.

‘That’s what you get for being so popular’, you snickered to yourself, quickly grabbing a couple movies that looked interesting before rushing to the counter. Because the internet was taking over when it came to movies, Blickbuster wasn’t as popular as it once had been. It sucked for them, but it was good for you because there was no line to wait in.

The cashier took his sweet time to scan the movies, making you want to yell at him to move a little faster, but he was an older gentleman and you didn’t want to be rude. You could hear Byungjoo’s steps as he rushed over to you, but the movies were slid into the plastic bag just before he reached the counter. He pouted at you, but you just offered him a thumbs up and a cheeky smile.

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Jiho looked up when his front door opened, scowling at the two of you – chatting cheerfully with each other as if you hadn’t been more than fifteen minutes late. “What took you two so long? We were supposed to walk home together, remember?” You tried to subtly shift the bag behind you, but he caught the logo. “No way, I don’t trust you, Y/N!”

When he turned away to set up the DVD player, you and Byungjoo shared a sneaky look.

Sniffling loudly, you put on the saddest face you could manage as you approached the couch, hands clasped tightly against your legs. Jiho watched you with suspicious eyes while Byungjoo looked at you with pity, making sure the brown-haired male saw the look. “Come on, man! Y/N is having some serious dating issues. She was really looking forward to showing us this movie.”

Still suspicious, he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “What movie is it?”

“I wanted to – sniffle – surprise you.” You responded in a timid voice. Byungjoo nodded, throwing his arms around your shoulders and frowning at the male.

Heaving out a deep sigh, Jiho gave in. “Fine,”

As soon as the words passed his lips, your mood flipped and you high-fived the male next to you. Dread filled him as Jiho realized that he had just been played. “You guys suck!”

“We love you, too, Jiho~!” You both chorused, working together to form a heart with your hands.

Working together, you quickly filled the coffee table with snacks and got everything connected. The boys settled down on the couch while you popped the disk into the DVD player, flicking off the lights. You squeezed in between them and pressed play.

Twenty minutes into the horror movie, both boys were clutching onto you for dear life, screaming every time something mildly disturbing happened which was quite often. Meanwhile, you were completely relaxed, munching on popcorn as the guy was forced to saw his ankle off in order to escape the room.

“You guys are such babies.” You mumbled, flinching. “Stop screaming in my ear, Jiho!”

“You have no soul!” He cried, throwing the blanket over his head when a particularly loud scream left the television.

Jiho’s older sister, Sarang, descended the stairs, rubbing her tired eyes. When she saw the horror movie playing on the screen, she decided to sneak up behind the three, screaming as loud as her lungs would allow. Her brother shrieked, falling off the couch and throwing himself against the wall. Byungjoo slammed his face into your shoulder, nails digging into your arm. Even you jumped, whipping around to face the source.

“That was not funny, sis!”

Sarang giggled, flicking the lights on. “I thought it was hilarious!”

You paused the movie and tried to pry the blonde off of you. “Did we wake you up?”

“Yes, but I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.” She plopped down on the couch next to you. “Mind if I join?”

“Nope! I’m going to bed, goodnight!” Without waiting for a response, Jiho stomped up the stairs, having had enough of being scared for one night.

You turned to Byungjoo who had finally removed his nails from your skin. “You in?”

Taking a deep breath, he hesitantly nodded.

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You flipped through the channels, looking for something at least mildly interesting to watch. You and Sarang had finished both movies, and Byungjoo had fallen asleep sometime during the second movie, using your shoulder as a pillow. You weren’t tired at all, though.

Because of how late it was, there wasn’t much playing on TV, so you just settled for a Running Man re-run. The blonde snored lightly as Sarang exited the kitchen, carrying two glasses of coke.

“So tell me, Y/N. Have you confessed your undying love to that boy yet?”

You shifted in your seat, taking a long sip of the drink.

“That’s a no,” she laughed, “You’re taking Home Ec, right?”

“Yeah, but I can’t cook to save my life.” You frowned at the glass, rubbing your thumb over the condensation. “Pretty sure Bjoo is failing because of me.”

“That’s a shame. You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“You joined Home Ec and you don’t even know?” She looked at you in surprise. “What did you join for, then?”

“Bjoo begged me to join him because he thought the class would be full of girls. He wanted to use me as his wingman, but the class is mostly guys. There are only four girls, and two of them are obsessed with him.”

Sarang giggled. “Ah, high school life~ I remember what it was like being young~”

“You’re not even that old…”

“But you know, Y/N,” she leaned forward, holding her finger up with a smile, “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

You sat for a moment, taking in that information. “If that’s the case, then I really am screwed!”

“Nonsense! Your teacher is Mrs. Jung, right?”

“Yeah,”

“Perfect! She’s an amazing cook and a brilliant teacher. As long as you listen well and do as she does, you’ll be a pro in no time.” She patted your shoulder gently. “You’re resourceful and smart, have some confidence in yourself.”

You nodded, jumping off the couch and holding out your fist in determination. “You’re right, I can do this!”

Byungjoo groaned in pain, having been thrown face-first onto the floor.

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“I can’t do this…” You muttered as Mrs. Jung approached your table.

She looked down at the plate of food you had prepared, up to your crestfallen face, and back down to the food. What was meant to be a simple dish of bacon, eggs, and toast turned out to be a disaster because Byungjoo trusted you to cook the food alone after you begged him all morning.

The eggs were like rubber, the bacon was hard as a brick, and the poor toast, rather than being golden brown, had turned pitch black. Mrs. Jung cleared her throat, “Well… we all have to start somewhere. Good effort, Y/N, Byungjoo.”

You bowed your head in shame as the girls at the next table started laughing at you. Byungjoo did his best to comfort you, but his words didn’t reach. You honestly felt like such a failure – a hopeless loser that couldn’t even make toast properly. It wasn’t just your inability to cook, either. Byungjoo had trusted you and you had let him down. His grades would surely suffer from your overconfidence.

The next couple of days passed by you as a blur. You hardly said a word despite Jiho and Byungjoo’s various attempts to cheer you up or, at the very least, get some sort of reaction out of you. Everything they tried ultimately failed, though.

When lunch rolled around, you found yourself sitting alone at the table. Neither boy could be found, but you didn’t even notice. As Jihoon entered the cafeteria, his eyes landed on you. With a furrowed brow, he quickly glanced around the room, but neither Jiho or Byungjoo were in the room. You never ate without them. Had you fought with them? He had noticed your change in attitude over the past few days, but since he didn’t actually know anyone in your circle, he had no way of knowing.

The chair next to you squeaked as he pulled it away from the table, sitting down on the hard plastic. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t cook.” You muttered, absentmindedly stirring your potatoes.

He was quiet for a moment, carefully thinking over his response. “Cooking isn’t for everyone. Even so, don’t give up. Whenever you feel like giving up, think about the reason you want to improve your cooking. Focus on that reason until you no longer have the desire to give up.” After saying his peace, he stood up and headed for his usual table.

You looked up as he walked away, feeling the fork slip out of your fingers in surprise. It was Jihoon! You let his words sink in before you felt a new wave of resolve come over you. With your new found energy, you sprung up, slamming your hands on the table. “I will learn how to cook!”

The other students looked at you like you were weird, disturbed by your sudden outburst. Jihoon hid his smile behind his hand, eyes following you as you rushed out of the cafeteria.

Most of your lunch period was spent searching for your two best friends. There were only ten minutes left when you finally found them talking to each other in the hallway. You ran up to them and threw your arms around their necks.

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting! I’m sorry I’m practically making you fail, Bjoo!

They exchanged a look of surprise but returned the embrace.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jiho questioned.

“Was it aliens – ow! What’d you hit me for?!”

“Because you’re an idiot and you’re ruining the mood.”

“You ruin the mood all the time!”

“Exactly. It’s my job to ruin the mood, not yours.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

You burst out laughing, wrapping your arms around your stomach. It felt good like you were releasing all of the negativity that had been hanging over you the past few days.

The pair smiled at you, happy that you were no longer sulking. Byungjoo waited for your laughter to die down before speaking, “We have a surprise for you.”

“Surprise?” You questioned, wiping away your tears.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period. Jiho wished you both good luck before you went your separate ways. Byungjoo was practically skipping to Home Ec and you were beginning to feel nervous. Was he going to get even with you for making him watch a horror movie?

The two of you were the last ones in the class before the bell and you caught Jihoon’s eyes. He sent you an encouraging smile, which you returned with a nervous one.

You went to take your seat, but the blonde shoved you into the chair next to Mingyu who offered you a kind smile. Byungjoo took his normal seat, but Jaebum was sitting next to him. Before you could question him, the teacher walked in and the lesson began.

As Mingyu started the day’s dish, he explained the situation. “Your friends explained your predicament to me and Jaebum. You like Jihoon, right?”

You startled, dropping the metal bowl that you were holding. You visibly winced as it bounced off the table and hit the floor, spinning for a few seconds before coming to a stop. With an apologetic glance to the teacher, you scurried away to grab the bowl, wanting nothing more than to hide from the watchful eyes of your classmates. The three boys surrounding you stifling their laughter. Not knowing the two that well, you turned to face Byungjoo with a scowl.

“I’m going to send you so many horror gifs!”

His laughter died immediately, his body tensing.

Mingyu chuckled, gaining your attention. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. They were really concerned about you, you know?”

You watched him as he carefully measured the ingredients. “They’re idiots, but… they’re good guys. I feel bad for making them worry.”

He hummed, “In that case, you should make it up to them by doing your best. Even if you fail, you can look them in the eyes and say that you did your best without giving up.”

As his words sunk in, you smiled. “Thank you. Please teach me all you know!”

“That’s the spirit!” He grinned, rolling up his sleeves. “Let’s get to work, we have a lot to cover before the exam.”

“Yes, sir!”

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The next week you focused solely on food.

Reading cooking magazines, watching cooking programs, going through the notes Mingyu made you… you even went so far as to play flash games about cooking. There were several times that you wanted to give up, but you remembered both Jihoon and Mingyu’s encouraging words. It re-energized you and gave you the confidence to forge forward.

The day of the exam finally arrived.

Everyone in the class was tasked with creating a curry dish. Because it was a test, the students worked alone rather than in pairs. You were feeling extremely nervous, but your friends had sent good vibes to you before the test began. You did the best you could, using the knowledge Mingyu had instilled in you.

When it was your turn to be judged, everyone looked at you in surprise.

The curry looked completely normal, delicious even. The rules of the test were that the student was supposed to taste their own dish before the teacher, but you were feeling nervous because you had never tasted your own food before. You grabbed a spoonful of curry, trying to steady your shaking hand.

Hearing Byungjoo laughing at your nervousness, you made a split second decision. Whipping around, you shoved the spoon into his mouth only to freeze. It wasn’t Byungjoo standing behind you, it was Jihoon.

His skin turned deathly pale and the class swore that his soul had left him.

“Shit,” you cursed, watching as he stumbled out of the classroom, clutching his stomach. The class was silent.

“Go!” Mingyu whispered, pushing you forwards. You took off after him, finding him leaning against the wall for support.

Swallowing down your nerves, you gently took his arm and put it over your shoulder, helping the boy to the nurse’s office. After quickly explaining what had happened, the nurse gave him a liquid to settle his stomach before directing him to lie down on one of the beds.

You sat on the stool by his head, staring at your hands. You couldn’t dare look him in the eye after what you had done. “I am so sorry, Jihoon! I thought Bjoo was behind me and I… I’m so sorry!”

He took a deep breath, thinking over what he wanted to say. “What reason did you have for wanting to be a better cook? What’s your motivation?”

The question surprised you. “I… was trying to get someone’s attention…”

“Byungjoo?”

“Eh?” You finally lifted your eyes to meet his, surprised by the determination burning within their depths.

“You were trying to get Byungjoo’s attention, right?”

Your nose scrunched up in disgust, “Ew, no. He’s practically my brother.”

“Then who?” His brow furrowed. He had been sure that you were trying to impress the blonde.

“Oh my god! Why are these two so dense?!”

“Be quiet! You’re gonna get us caught!”

You exchanged a look with Jihoon before approaching the door. When you pulled it open, two boys fell through while Mingyu and Jiho stood behind them. The two on the floor were Byungjoo and one of Jihoon’s friends, Seungkwan.

Seungkwan pulled himself to his feet, huffing out in annoyance as he waved his arms dramatically. ���You two are so frustrating!” He turned to you, pointing a finger at your face. “How do you feel about him?”

“I…” Biting your lip, you decided that you had already made a complete fool out of yourself already – you had nothing left to lose. Taking a breath to steel your nerves, you turned around to face Jihoon. “Do you remember that time in middle school? It was our second year and I was being bullied by some girls because of Jiho.”

“How is that my fault?!”

“Fangirls,” Byungjoo responded simply, throwing his arm around the boy.

You continued, ignoring their exchange. “We had never spoken before, but you still stood up for me. They stopped messing with me after that day… After that, I started to feel strange every time I looked at you. Whenever our eyes met, my heart would start racing. I found myself thinking about you whenever you weren’t around… Bjoo made me realize that I was crushing on you, but those feelings only got stronger as we got older. I originally joined Home Ec because of Bjoo… I guess I can see why you’d think that I liked him, but I started taking cooking seriously because I wanted you to notice me!” Your cheeks were burning and you felt yourself shaking a bit, but you felt so much lighter now that you had gotten everything off your chest.

Your two idiots started clapping proudly, wiping away invisible tears from their eyes. They were moved by your bravery.

Jihoon was silent for a good minute before he pushed himself into a sitting position. “Come here, Y/N.”

You glanced back at your friends for encouragement, receiving a thumbs up from both of them. You slowly approached his side.

He gently grasped the collar of your shirt, tugging you down until your lips connected with his own. At that moment, everything else disappeared. He was the only thing in your world and it felt amazing. You smiled as he pulled away, his lips ghosting over yours as he spoke, “I’ve liked you since our first year of middle school.”

“Finally! Jeez,” Seungkwan sighed as he left the nurse’s office, muttering to himself about how much of a pain you both were.

You rubbed the back of your neck, smiling sheepishly at him. “I’m sorry for poisoning you…”

Jihoon chuckled, “It was worth it.”

Little flecks of white started to rain down on you both, courtesy of Byungjoo and Jiho who had shredded up some paper and were currently tossing it at you.

“Boys! Stop making a mess!” The nurse scolded them, ordering the pair to stay after school to clean up the mess they had made.

As you watched them being scolded, you felt Jihoon wrap his arm around your waist and lean against you. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to you. The boy you had been chasing for so long was finally yours, and you were finally his. All it took was serving him some disgusting food that nearly killed him. It was like a fairytale at that moment –

“So, are we not gonna talk about how you were trying to poison me?”

“What did I say about ruining the mood?”

“I don’t see your name on it.”

“You don’t see – are you five?!”

You giggled at their argument, reaching down to place a chaste kiss on Jihoon’s lips. “Welcome to the family~”

“Great, more idiots to deal with.”

“Hey!”

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[hamliet]

Scrubs (yes the sitcom)

Seasons 1-8 since we’re not touching season 9 and its new cast. 

A sitcom that, by its fourth episode, showed (as it would continue to show) that it was at its best when it was at its most heartbreaking, because those were often the moments that it was also at its most heartwarming. The theme of “My Old Lady” (the fourth episode) is really that you can’t save everyone and death is indeed scary (a recurring theme in Scrubs), and you have to acknowledge that. But even in that fear, there are beautiful moments too, and taking the time to breathe and feel the sun and find something warm even in those moments can get you through them. 

Dr. Kelso, Dr. Cox, Jordan, Elliott, Turk, and Carla were my favorite characters, though everyone was well done, from JD to Laverne to the Janitor. Jordan was just... an enjoyable twist on the devil woman archetype. For that matter, almost every character was really a hyperbolic, exaggerated character for comedic effect. Elliott’s eccentricities, Kelso’s cruelty, Cox’s grumpiness, Ted’s cowardice and incompetence, Todd’s sexuality, JD’s need for approval--they were all exaggerated for comedic purposes (which ties into why things weren’t ruined for me with those characters, but they could be for other people and it’s legit if so). Elliott was relatable in her anxieties, her parental issues, her relationship struggles. Cox’s breakdown in season 5 really got me, and Laverne--along with Turk and Cox’s sister Paige--all had their faith treated as an important part of their character just as Cox’s atheism was an important part of his, which I appreciated. Everyone was respected. 

i also enjoyed how different seasons focused on slowly building up towards a breakdown of different characters. For example, Carla and Turk in season 4, JD and Cox in season 5 (kept focusing more than normal on his arrogance and that went places). The relationships were also really well written and enjoyable. From the Janitor and Lady, to Ted and Gooch, to Cox and Jordan, Elliott and JD, and of course Carla and Turk, each couple had their own unique foiling and unique strengths that made them appealing together. Their personalities always remained unique, but together they made something beautiful. And the friendships were just as powerful.

I appreciated that a main theme was that there are no easy answers. Be it professionally, relationally, grief, marriage, parenting--nothing is easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s miserable either. As Dr. Kelso says in season 4, “nothing worth having comes easy.” The nuance was great in this show. For me in particular, the episodes that focused on grief (and a LOT of them did) were incredibly cathartic and healing for me, as I’ve been working through my dad’s death over the past year. 

The show was really good. The soundtrack was always on point--music as a whole was brilliantly used in this series. I highly recommend it if you want a feel-good show that doesn’t avoid even the darker aspects of life, and if you’re wrangling with grief. 

Of course, it’s got its issues too. It hasn’t aged well, like at all, in how it portrays race and especially in its portrayal of sexual harassment. Todd Quinlan is basically Mineta from BNHA as a doctor--but somehow still likable/has redeeming qualities. STill, Todd’s actions are really despicable (as are Dr. Kelso’s towards his wife) even while played for comedy, and none of these things would fly today as funny, nor should they. But within the context of the series as a whole, in my personal opinion they didn’t ruin it for me even if I cringed. I still liked Todd and loved Dr. Kelso as characters. 

Season 8 in particular was weaker than the other seasons, and if it weren’t for the writer’s strike in season 7 which cut it very short, I kind of think season 7 would have wrapped the show up. Season 8 had less budget, so the main characters didn’t always appear in episodes, and the jokes were a bit more... insensitive/cheap rather than clever like in the past (it switched networks between seasons 7 and 8 too). That being said, Season 8 did magnificently conclude the characters’ arcs, with Kelso stepping into a mentor role and a new friendship with Cox, to Cox and Jordan’s relationship, Carla and Turk’s, Elliott finding her worth and feeling as if it was okay to chase her desires, Ted and the Janitor both finding love with Gooch and Lady respectively, and everyone passing the torch to the new interns, wherein our cast became the teachers. 

For my favorite episodes: 

My Old Lady (season 1 episode 4). This episode really set the whole theme and tone of the show, and deserved the award it won. 

My Own Personal Jesus (season 1 episode 11). A hilarious rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and the really cool theme of Christmas spirit made this great.

My Dream Job (season 2 episode 22). The last minutes of this episode were pure satisfactory gold that also marked a really important step in Dr. Cox’s, Elliott’s, and Dr. Kelso’s characters, and honestly JD’s as well. Also Ryan Reynolds guest-stars. 

My Own American Girl (season 3 episode 1). This is one of the few ones on here for mostly comedy. “My machines!” is one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen. 

My Brother Where Art Thou (Season 3 episode 5). Scrubs has a habit of doing excellent mini, cross-season arcs with its minor characters, and JD’s brother Dan had a great arc that continued in every episode he appeared in over the seasons. But his moment with Dr. Cox at the end makes this my favorite of the Dan episodes. 

My Friend, the Doctor (season 3 episode 8). I loved the development for the Janitor. 

My Screw-Up (season 3 episode 14). Like with Dan, Ben’s episodes as the brother of Jordan and best friend of Dr. Cox all really stood out, and this one’s twist at the end, plus expert foreshadowing, made it fantastic viewing. 

My Boss’ Free Haircut (season 4 episode 20). Dr. Kelso’s humanity begins to emerge more, and his speech to his patient and to Turk is what I referenced above. It also deals with Carla and Turk’s marital issues in an empathetic way, and Carla is given room to grieve for her mom in a way that really resonated with me. 

My New God (season 5 episode 5). Cox’s reveal of his childhood and interactions with Paige--a character who easily could have been played for ridicule but was instead given empathy for her beliefs just as Cox was--resonated with me. 

My Bright Idea (season 5 episode 16). From JD’s hilarious slip-up in front of the priest to Carla and Turk’s pregnancy reveal in the episode’s final episodes, it was golden all the way through. I cried from happiness in this episode. 

My Lunch & My Fallen Idol (season 5 episodes 20-21). I don’t remember the last time I cried so hard at a show/movie since Hodor died in Game of Thrones. It was based on a real case, and helped me cope with my own grief, in addition to giving a powerful development to Cox and JD’s relationship. I think these are the two best episodes. 

My Musical (season 6 episode 6). Despite the idea of making an episode a musical, the premise for why it was a musical was clever, and the songs (”Guy Love” in particular) were hilarious. 

My Long Goodbye (season 6 episode 15). Within a week of watching “My Lunch,” I watched this one and cried just as hard. This episode and the one that comes before it are really powerful, but they hurt. 

My Cold Shower (Season 6 episode 19). Despite Elliott making a mistake, the way her friends are all genuinely happy for her and JD’s realization in the end that he loves her were... moving. 

My Dumb Luck (season 7 episode 9). The episode that shows you just how much Dr. Kelso developed, from character you loved because you hated him to character you saw how much he cared. It was the perfect development for him.

My Princess (season 7 episode 11). A really clever use of a fairy-tale AU, and a powerful story too that allowed for Jordan and Cox to have one of their more humanizing, tender moments. Yet again, in the end though, the implications aren’t that you can save everyone, but even in failure, there’s something to believe in. 

My Full Moon (season 8, episode 13) On the whole I think season 8 is the weakest of the acknowledged seasons (I’ve no interest in season 9) but it does have some really lovely conclusions, like I said, and this one concluded Elliott’s arc in a satisfying way. As she’s one of my faves, and as it has a really well-acted scene where she tells a patient they are HIV positive (as HIV awareness and decreasing the stigma are very important to me), it’s one of my favorites.

My Finale (Part 2) (season 8, episode 19) A really excellent final scene and a powerful series message. 

[buttdawg]

I'm still pissed about Jim Cornette, so I guess I'll write about it here.

I listened to his podcast yesterday to see if there would be any contrition over his Ethiopia joke, and there really wasn't. The closest he got was to express regret for distracting attention away from NWA, which he seems to sincerrly wish to support. Then he offered this conditional apology based on how people reacted to what he said:

1) If you disliked his joke and thought it was in poor taste, he apologizes for what he said.

2) If you're Black and found it offensive, he didn't intend for it to be racist.

3) If you're outraged by what he said, beyond what he thinks is reasonable for a situation like this, then you can fuck off, because he never cared what you think of him anyway.

That's just bullshit, and I'm gonna tell you why. In the same podcast, he admits that he has anger management issues. He's gone on record as saying that if there was a way to do it legally, he would murder Vince Russo in cold blood. He carries a lifelong grudge against Kenny Omega because he wrestled an inflatable doll in Japan several years ago. And yet this guy has the temerity to complain when he thinks people are overreacting to him. "Whoa, whoa, come on, people, it was just a joke. Why are you so bent out of shape over this?" Well the blow up doll was a joke too, but you still want Kenny Omega run out of the wrestling business for it.

I've been listening to a few Cornette podcasts since AEW started, mostly because they were free on YouTube, and because Corny's a lot easier to listen to than the schmucks at Wrestling Observer. I found a lot of his hatred towards AEW unfair, but occasionally he made some valid points. Like the Cody/Dustin vs Young Bucks match going too long. He said it felt like they did three shorter matches in one, and the first leg was the best of the three, so they would have been smarter to wrap it up early and end on a high note. When he said that, I was like "Hey yeah," because I felt the same way but I couldn't put it into words at the time.

But mostly he just hates AEW for the unforgivable crime of existing in spite of his complaints. He respects and likes maybe a third of its talent, but he can't seem to fathom why those guys put up with the two-thirds that he hates. Maybe it's because guys like Cody and Jericho and Hangman Page are smart enough to understand that they're good for business, even if they have different styles in the ring. Cornette's problem is that he's too brittle.

That, and he's a hypocrite. He keeps ragging on wrestlers for exposing the business and not looking enough like real athletes. He craps on guys like Joey Janela for not looking muscular enough, sort of like how he crapped on Kevin Steen before he went to WWE and became a multi-time champion. I'm sure Joey's terrified of suffering the same fate. One of Cornette's talking points is how they don't just sign anyone for the NBA, and they don't just bring fans in to play the Super Bowl because they want to. But that's stupid. Joey and Marko Stunt got signed to AEW. They're legit members of the roster, and they're over. The only downside to these guys is that they don't look like football players, except nobody cares about that, so it isn't a problem at all.

Cornette gripes and gripes about professionalism in wrestling, and how there's no room for cheap gimmicks or bad comedy, except his entire decades-long career in wrestling has been spent acting as an insult comic with a loud suit and a tennis racket. He's probably mad at Kenny Omega for wrestling the blow-up doll because he kind of looks like a blow-up doll, so maybe he took it personally. He cries about kayfabe and protecting the business at all costs, and then he uses every opportunity he has to bury wrestlers and air all the dirty laundry from backstage. Every episode of NWA Powerrr had at least one instance of him bashing AEW as "cosplay" wrestling, which doesn't help anybody. If you don't watch AEW, you wouldn't know what he's talking about, and if you watch NWA and AEW, then he's insulting your taste. It's bad announcing, pure and simple. He's only out there to push his own agenda, not the wrestlers.

I can give him a modicum of respect for resigning from NWA. According to his podcast, he only worked for them to help support their product, because he believes so much in what they're doing. But it's become clear that the controversey he generates is distracting the public from NWA's brand. I read a tweet from Nick Aldis this week where he was very diplomatic and expressed great regret for what Cornette had said. He said it didn't represent what he wanted NWA to be. I like Nick Aldis, because I can tell that he's trying as hard as he can to carry himself like the "Real World's Chamion" in the tradition of Ric Flair and Harley Race. I don't know if he's succeeding or not, but I respect the effort he's putting in, because he wants to make NWA special and he wants to be a champion in a way that Chris Jericho and Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt aren't. But as long as Cornette was associated with the brand, his efforts would always be undercut by whatever whackamaroo nonsense he says next.

So maybe Cornette had that in mind when he quit, but from his podcast, I got the sense that it's not like he needed the job, and it wasn't fun anymore, and he was getting fed up with the PR headaches. That explains why he was so flippant on NWA Powerrr. He was showing up to have fun and relive the old days. Nick Aldis ain't there to screw around. He's trying to build a better career for himself and his co-workers.

And it's that flippancy that pisses me off. Cornette stopped giving a fuck years ago, I guess because he's got a successful business selling merch and dvds of old matches and public appearances and such. He doesn't need to "protect the business" anymore because he's got his own business separate from any promotion. His gigs with MLW and NWA are a way for him to promote his stuff, so if he says something shitty on their air, it just drives up hits on his website. That's the worst possible scenario for a color commentator. Cornette cries foul because Excalibur wears a mask on AEW Dynamite, but at least Ex is concentrating on making AEW talent look good. He's not telling racist jokes to fill dead air, or to get more eyeballs on his website.

It's impossible for me to express how stupid that Ethiopia joke was. The racism was so obvious that it makes all the defenses of it especially flimsy. Cornette insists he was mocking starving people, like that makes it okay. He told the story of how he invented the joke and Ray Traylor thought it was hilarious in 1985, and TBS and USA never got in trouble for it, so that somehow makes it okay forever. Cornette's fans talk about how they think the joke's okay, simply because they thought it was funny, like that makes a bit of difference in a PR situation like this.

Then you see people cry about how "sensitive" everyone is these days. Like, no shit, that's how public relations works. If your business does something offensive enough, it hurts your brand and your business suffers. So you have to be mindful of people's sensitivity. Complaining about it is useless. That'd be like going on Twitter after the Notre Dame fire and saying "Wood sure is flammable these days." Well how does that solve anything, dumbass?

It's all a bunch of bullshit. Cornette's using thirty-year old jokes because a dead guy laughed at it once and he's too arrogant to re-evaluate it for the present day. He's mad at wrestling fans for objecting to his behavior, except they're the customers, for fuck's sake. I've never seen anyone so obsessed with protecting the business and simultaneously so insulting towards the people who pay for the product. He hates AEW because he doesn't approve of their methods. Except they do good business and can sell out buildings pretty regularly. There's clearly an audience for how AEW does things. You tell him that, and he'll respond that their audience doesn't count, because they're all 30 or 40 something single men who are probably virgins or they're lose interest when the next fad comes along. So it's not enough to sell out a venue, you have to get x percent old people and y percent women and z percent children, or whatever they used to draw in Mid South in 1987. Dave Meltzer likes AEW, so Cornette now thinks he's an idiot too, even though he's been covering wrestling for decades. He's trapped himself in this binary mindset where the only real wrestling fans are the ones who agree with him and approve of his dated jokes and out-of touch worldview. Everyone else deserves to be shot.

That's why NWA is better off without Cornette. They may not realize it, but he was never on their side, not really. Sooner or later they would have offended his rigid, inflexible sense of What Wrestling Should Be, and he'd turn on them too. At least this way, it's a clean break, and they don't have him talking about fried chicken during Nick Aldis matches or how Trevor Murdoch's beer gut is somehow more athletic than Kenny Omega in a Street Fighter costume.

[kpopgerapitico]

TOKE2: The Final Check In

A/N: This post is LONG. It is almost 3 pages in my Google doc. So it starts with a TL;DR before the deep dive.

TL;DR:  While I liked this show, it isn’t going on one of my favorite lists. It did give me some more respect for a lot of actors, who still managed to make me like them through the craziness of the 3rd act. And while I think the women had more depth than I expected, I also think the show could have done a whole lot more.

It’s finally over. Here is some word vomit for y’all about how I felt. I will attempt to organize my thoughts into categories: characters, plot, themes, other.

Plot: I really liked the premise of this show, but I think somewhere along the way, the writer got too invested in the drama. I like the idea of a redemption arc, but not so much the fact that it involved fake dating, and arson, and a dirty cop. I was expecting it to be more emotionally grounded. I was hoping it would feel more . . . just more.

Now, to be fair, most of that criticism is about the second half of the show. The first half, though a little unrealistic had me feeling the whole gambit of emotions. I loved Sang Chul coming to the realization of what he is doing to the people around him, even when he normally is really perceptive of what people are thinking. I connected with him over a lot of the stuff he had happen with him in the first section, because I understood his anxiety and the confusion he faced as his world turned upside down. I don’t appreciate the whole cheating thing, nor do I condone it, but otherwise I loved his plot.

Bok Nyeo’s though . . . took a character I loved in the first half and just . . . ruined her. I didn’t get what she was going through, and how many twists were happening purely to trick the viewer. I hate twists for twists sake.

Themes: So the first half of the show is a drama about cheating, found family, and recovering from heartbreak in all its forms. And for the most part, those themes were resolved with the idea that your family loves you always, and that maybe that love takes a while to find, but it is there. And definitely don’t cheat, because damn those consequences are bad.

The second half was all about revenge and again recovering from trauma. There is a pretty dramatic storyline that doesn’t so much condemn a revenge plot as quickly solve it in a few seconds in the hopes that the viewers will be used to the previous backlash. It felt rushed, and it felt out of character. I loved the idea of the themes, just not the execution.

Other: Lovelines either need to happen or be ignored, so I hated that this show tiptoed the line. It ruined the potential of any of those lovelines while also teasing them out for the whole course of the show.

I wish there was more comedy. When it was there, I loved it, because it allowed for the shows emotional beats to be a little bit more powerful.

Characters:

I’m gonna go one by one, because why the hell not. I make more own choices. Also, because this was about well written women, so I’m going to talk about everyone. Including the boys.

The Men:

Butcher Shop Husband: In the end was a good trope character to have. Loved his family, even if he was a flirt.

Lee Dong Shik (Na Young’s eventual man): God I wish he would have had more character. So much wasted potential.

Tae Shik (dirty cop): Wow he went hard right didn’t he. I love this actor even more now. Please give him roles where I can love him. With Cruel City too.

Jang Do Hyun/Seo Ji Hoon: The actor was fine, the character was delusion in the not run way. See my opinion of delusion in an earlier post to get how I feel about him.

Shin Woo Jae: The poor best friend. I was hoping he would get the girl. But let’s be real, he was never a major character. He had no chance.

Choi Soo Hyuk: He wasn’t a dick in the end, which means he grew, which is great to hear about from a teenager on a drama.

Neighbor’s Husband: Hey, did you think cheating was okay? Well, here is even more proof that it isn’t okay! He wasn’t even a foil. His role was to push a theme, and maybe to help the neighbor to be less of a horrible person.

Grandpa: Loved his arc. Was ready to hate him when he was the actual worst at the beginning. So glad he didn’t get attacked by the whole in-law trope forever.

Se Gyul: Cool kid. Wish he had more depth. Not surprised he didn’t.

Doo Gyul: I love that the show promoted cooking as a good choice with your childhood. Especially in a character who would not be normally troped as a chef.

Sang Chul: I become very attached to the dad and his struggle. I think it is mostly a testament to the actor, who was amazing in this role at toeing the line between pitiful and strong. He was openly emotional too, which was nice. Basically a beta male become successful, which was cool.

The ladies:

Butcher Shop Lady: I hate the abuse plotline being used as a gag. But, in the last couple episodes, the abuse is overshadowed by her being strong and outspoken. That is the woman I wanted to see the whole time.

Neighbor: I’m glad she got some humanity at the end to save her from being a cardboard cutout of a human. I also like how firm she stood in her resolve against her cheating husband.

Ms. Hong: Her laugh terrifies me still. I loved that she loved Bok Nyeo so much. Though she mostly seemed to exist because she could help the family find Bok Nyeo. So that’s a little rough.

Na Young: I loved her right up to the last 2 episodes. The trope she represents is one I like, and she at least had a little bit of depth. Then the author shot her off the deep end with a cannon. And took all her character traits and ignored them. I missed her endearing clumsiness and got backlash, all at the same time.

Yoon Song Hwa: I was really rooting for her to get her life together. And while it took a billion episodes, it happened. I’m happy that she got a redemption arc, since she got screwed pretty much seconds after screwing over Sang Chul.

Hye Gyul: Sometimes she was adorable. Occasionally she was crazy. In the middle and end, I wanted her to be less crazy pretty much every time she did anything.

Han Gyul: I like that she was true to herself throughout. I did not really enjoy some of her poor choices later in the show, but they made sense for her. She was maybe the most well written character on the show, in that she had depth but was also for the most part consistent, which was the biggest problem with most of the characters on the show. She may not have reinvented the wheel, but the wheel the writer chose is great.

Bok Nyeo/Eun Soo: I know she is the reason that I was watching this show. And in the first half, I got it. She had really cool depth, and a compelling set of morals that were hard to understand but still read well. And Choi Ji Woo killed it. If we skipped the whole middle plot, and moved to the 19th and 20th episode, I would understand her. All her choices would still make sense. The revenge plot was necessary, but it felt out of character, or at least a little bit crazy.

Another drama exchange is over. And it may not sound like it, but I enjoyed it maybe just as much.

[mejomonster]

Update: to be honest, to a large degree the men are my preferred period drama characters as well

I’m not super fond of pure fluff, let alone pure fluff and romance (only exception might be The Heiress and Go Princess Go and Oh My General which have SO much comedy I can like it - same reason I liked 2gether, just so much comedy too). I need comedy and/or action in huge heaps to like pure fluff - Til Death Tear Us Apart was a GREAT period show for me because the romance was fluff AND angst (they’re enemies in a war!! That’s pretty angsty, but they flirt so cute and nonstop and so Soft very Guardian esque). And it was a lot of fun action/comedy amidst the drama to keep anyone from crying too long like movies like The Mummy. It was a good time. Anyway my preferences just kind of mean… a lot of period dramas are not my thing.

Goodbye My Princess only managed to be (despite having a heroine setup I’m not the fondest of I did like her specifically), because it’s written super well, it’s enemies in love, it’s tragic as all hell, and it’s power struggles focused even when it comes to how that plays into the romance (so is Til Death Tear Us Apart though tdtua has a happy ending and more gentleness generally). The Wolf again, is more enemies in love/kids who grew up in screwed circumstances, Til Death Tear Us Apart, Love is More Than A Word, Detective L, My Roommate is a Detective… not a lot of fluff-only on that list

So secret of the three kingdoms is really nailing it for me because we’ve got political intrigue, power struggles, danger and action, a nice dash of comedy for levity (which I need lol), a lot of women just as actively involved In the plot, one mostly-innocent character and it’s the leading man and he’s the Fake-Emperor which hey I love me secret identities and danger ToT. And he’s very sexy when he starts breaking so >o>)/ and the empress is <3 and Sima Yi is Elvis Han, and I just. Where else am I going to go for love interests like This?? While I think I could get the political men in a few places, the fact ALL the women involved in the plot are also actively participating in these power struggles with a lot of them equal levels scheming and/or assassinating, and the fact the lead man is as naive as Wu Xie and as good hearted (needing to Pretend hes his cutthroat twin emperor which is very Shen Wei trying to be Hei Pao Shi but more fucked since this guys brother is dead and he’s falling in love with his sister in law and both of them feel guilty af about it but also like they need to hook up for their roles but also like they Care and want to be together on their Own Terms). Like? Again Black Sails is maybe the last time I personally remember watching a period drama with so many overall character setups catering to my personal tastes (and they didn’t have a Liu Ping innocent as a puppy and secret identity dramatics)

I still have Monarch Industry on my to watch list because I’m fairly sure that’s one of the period dramas that would be more in my line of interests.

Secret of the Three Kingdoms update:

I’m on episode 25 and if it couldn’t get better, it did. Literally every single woman on this show is my DREAM kind of character for a period drama. Which is incredibly rare, the closest I’ve gotten before was black sails.

The girl who was Guo Jias “fling” is actually a killer who overthrew a guy, is currently plotting to kill Cao Cao, is about to rescue another girl, is playing Guo Jia (I knew she was smart!!)

Like??? Yes please yes Please

Also. Also!?? The other new woman introduced seems to love trouble immensely, she’s cheating on her husband with Whoever, loves getting people arrested, has a soldier woman for a bodyguard, and throws major “going to play a big role” vibes and I think she’s Cao Pi’s love interest. Phenomenal

[theironweasel]

Fullmetal Alchemist: And Why I’m worried Avatar has spoiled me.

SPOILERS!

This was the series more than any other anime I had seen that I was hoping that could live up to the quality of the Avatar franchise. It was an Action/Adventure series about the same length as both series and it was even TV-PG, allowing even darker situations and themes, and it had a strong starting concept. Once again, however, I was ultimately disappointed.

The Humor. This is a rather small complaint in the grand scheme of things, but I felt the humor in FMA fell pretty flat most of the time. I think there are two reasons for this, first most of the jokes are just repeated time and time again and are the one comedic note a character has. Edward gets mad when someone calls him short, Armstrong has his weird physique obsession, and Hughes loves to go on about his daughter. The other issue is the tonal shifts the humor creates. I’d describe the humor in FMA as exaggerated, with background changes, chibiesque faces and other anime humor tropes. However this doesn’t really gel with the serious and dark tone of the rest of the series, this is why the humor seems to work better in the small number of “comedy” episodes such as the Flame Alchemist. Compare this to both Avatar series. In each, characters also tend to derive their comedy from one particular place, but it isn’t limited to a single joke. Sokka has his cynical sarcasm, Toph has her blind jokes, Katara has her deprecation of her brother, Bolin has his naive silliness, and even Mako get’s his overly uptight attitude and awkwardness. But they don’t just repeat the same joke over and over and the reactions of others is also a huge part of the jokes, from annoyance to anger to confusion. Additionally the jokes don’t tend to break from the tone too much. Sokka’s sarcasm is usually a result of the bad situations he tends to wind up in, and Katara tends to get on Sokka’s case when she is annoyed at him for some reason. These jokes are also much more subdued and realistic, they feel like real human beings who have these personalities would say these things in the situation they are in. In FMA, most of the time, it feels like characters become caricatures whenever their humor moments emerge. Also, a lot of humor relies on the reactions of other characters with FMA it's very easy to predict the over the top reactions that will happen. One of my favorite jokes in Avatar is when Bolin is checking to see if Aiwei is in his house “He's not home. Or he's hiding in there. (gasps) Or he's invisible.” To which Mako gives him an amazing look of annoyance that is simply expressed in a pursed mouth and a cocked eyebrow but the timing and sincerity of it always make me laugh.

2. The Pacing. FMA has a problem I rarely even talk about or notice, because I tend to find as long as the pacing is consistent it doesn’t matter much how fast or slow it is. With FMA the pacing is all over the place. At first The Pacing was quite good, letting a single story last only 2 episodes at most, but shifting from a continuing arc to one off episodes relatively well, though the time skip is bizarre. However this changes once the Lab 5 arc begins. 4 episodes are almost entirely in one building over one night with a continuous story that creaks along at a snail's pace. This was the beginning of the longer arcs that would mostly comprise the rest of the show. The worst offender was the Izumi arc which lasted 8 episodes, and the locations that were visited were: An island, a house, some streets, a meat shop, a military base, a bar, a mansion and some sewers. Basically each episode averaged one new location. By comparison, the Ba Sing Se arc in ATLA minus Appa’s Lost Days, was 7 episodes and covered many more locations: The Drill, the outer walls, the lower ring, a tea shop, Zuko’s apartment, the Gaang’s house, the palace, Lake Laogai, a zoo, a haiku club, a restaurant, a fountain area, a spa, The Dai Li headquarters, The Jasmine Dragon, The Water Tribe camp, The Eastern Air temple, The Catacombs and several other locations. Additionally, The entire second half of Book 2 could be considered a single arc that’s 11 episodes long from The Library to The Crossroads of Destiny, however while there is an overarching plot, each episode also has it’s own plot where a number of aspects are resolved each episode, making each feel like a complete story even if the larger story is only slowly developing. FMA has a habit of arcs essentially being one story broken into a number of parts which tends to kill the pacing. It could be argued that LOK is essentially 4 season long arcs going from 12-14 episodes each. While this is technically true, each episode feels independant from each other while also building on the overall plot. While people complain that the pacing gets slow in the middle of Book 2, it isn’t as bad as some of the FMA arcs and bounces back quite well in the second half. And Book 3 is one of the best examples of a slow buildup with an amazing payoff that I’ve ever seen.

3. The Villains. I’m going to be blunt here, the villains of FMA are pretty bland and boring, which is a real shame.There really isn’t much going on with these villains, at best they aren’t completely one dimensional and have some tragedy in their backstory. At worst they have one, continuous boring note they hit and that's it. This is such a waste given the naming convention for most of the villains. We have 7 villains named for the 7 deadly sins, there is so much that could have been done with this, exploring the nature of these concepts from the obvious to the imaginative, to the subtle. We could have seen how a being that is supposed to be an embodiment of a vice interacts with humanity, or how these supposed vices could also be virtues in certain situations. There are a million things that could have been done with this, but for the most part this just plays out as: a guy who will eat anything, a woman who dresses kind of sexily, and a woman who talks like she just woke up. One of the strengths of Avatar are the villains though each series handles them in different ways. First, ATLA tends to have more traditional villains, save for Zuko, though Azula teeters the edge between traditional and humanized, though this is what makes her one of the best villains in fiction by combining pure evil with humanity and tragedy. Back to my point though. Most of the villains are pretty simple, and all of them are essentially aspects of Ego. This is the exact opposite of FMA, taking one concept and exploring it in different ways. Zuko is about the infliction of one's ego on another person and how that can screw someone up and learning how that ultimately, feeding that ego won’t lead to real contentment. Zhao is a bully who enjoys inflicting suffering on others to boost his own ego and his actions both for and against his nation's interests are simply to serve his delusions of grandeur. Long Feng is all about control as an extension of his ego, he rose up through society to prove himself and demanded complete control of Ba Sing Se as an extension of himself. Azula is about the control of Ego as well as how it becomes a defense mechanism to replace a lack of love from those around her, showing how it is ultimately unsustainable because when it is stripped away there is nothing left. Finally, Ozai represents the power hungry nature of Ego and how it will never be satisfied, abusing and manipulating those around him for power and eventually being driven close to madness by a belief in his own power and invincibility. I love this aspect of ATLA as it examines all the aspects of Ego from subtle to extreme, with Ozai being the climax and showing just how terrifying and horrible an absolute devotion to Ego is. LOK takes an opposite approach, each villain represents a different ideology that is taken to an extreme but also humanizes them more than in ATLA. Amon represents how a devotion to extreme equality is misguided as it requires punishing the naturally gifted even though they may choose to use their gifts to help others (Like the Krew) and that in any political movement a figurehead is required and it can be the ultimate weakness. On the other hand it also shows how Amon started as a good person whose ideals were warped by abuse and even though he wants to try and start again he is ultimately killed because of the inevitability of repeating the mistakes of the past, while he may want to change in the moment, all it takes is temptation for the whole thing to start over again. Unalaq is a pretty boring villain but at least he does believe in the need for spirits to be a part of the physical world only taking it to an extreme. And we at least got Vaatu as a pretty cool embodiment of ultimate Darkness and Chaos. Zaheer is extremely interesting in how humanized he is without giving him any real backstory. All this comes from his actions which reflect someone who cares deeply about his friends and loved ones and genuinely wants to help people, but is also ruthless and willing to do ANYTHING to get his way even if it is hypocritical. He also represents a kind of violent Individualist Anarchism that is relatable in how it advocates for total freedom in the midst of an extremely oppressed society. However, it fails to account for how people, especially those who have been oppressed for a long time, don’t tend to act responsibly. More importantly, most people want safety more than freedom and are willing to turn to a horrible dictator to feel safe if necessary. Which brings me to Kuvira, a representation of Fascism who emphasizes Strength, Order, and Military might, from her jackboots to her mechanized army, with a face that could cut glass and an intimidating voice that will make you pee your pants. Seriously, while Hitler was a powerful Orator he didn’t have much else going for him, Kuvira is like if an Übermensch was also the Fuhrer. But beyond that, while her humanization is limited, the final reveal of her character while minor, ties all of her actions together as someone desperately seeking validation in opposition to her abandonment complex. Seriously, look at how long I went on giving just a brief description of each of the villains of Avatar and I could go into much more detail. FMA’s villains are so boring that I could use the same space to write about every single detail we know about all of the villains from backstory, to powers, to motivations and I would at most miss a few minor details.

3. The Plot. The plot starts out simple and interesting, however it eventually becomes way too convoluted with multiple factions with different motivations and goals that aren’t always made apparent so that we aren’t always certain what is going on and why. While it is okay to have some of these things, too much and you start becoming unsure what exactly is going on in relation to everything else. Another unfortunate effect of this is that there are a number of plot points that revolve around one group knowing some information that other groups don’t know. Again while occasionally okay, it is done too much. ATLA has a very simple plot with only a few twists occasionally, but for the most part, most episodes are self-contained stories so it’s difficult to get lost. LOK has more complicated plots, but each one only lasts 12-14 episodes and there is still plenty of stories that wrap up well in one or two episodes and the plots are all pretty interesting and engaging.

4. The Characters. This is more of a mixed bag, I like both Edward and Alphonse and think the relationship between them is pretty great. I do wish the show had taken more advantage of this and focused more on it, because the closest I came to crying watching this show was early on when Alphonse quietly lamented to his brother how he can’t feel anything anymore, specifically he can’t even find physical comfort in his own brother. However there are way too many side characters and most of them are kind of boring and onenote. A huge red flag for me is when Hughes died, this was probably the most likeable of the side characters and this should have been gut wrenching, but I only got a little misty eyed and mostly because of the kind of exploitative child crying during his funeral. It also feels like a number of characters who were supposed to have a bigger arc really didn’t, like Scar who winds up not really changing at all and stupidly plays into the villains’ plans. ATLA was pretty smart in knowing how to handle characters, have a small number of complex main characters with a ton of minor characters with a lot of personality who aren’t seen often, so they are memorable but their schtick isn’t over used. LOK didn’t have quite as interesting main characters, but made up for it with great side characters such as Lin Beifong, Tenzin and Varrick.

5. The Fights. While decent, I got rather tired of Ed using his arm blade to fight and all of the other Alchemists using just one ability the same way over and over. While I understand the specialization of the Alchemists, I wish they would use other abilities more or use their specialization in more creative ways. Avatar was always excellent about coming up with creative ways to use bending from the specializations, to just the imagination of how to use bending from utilitarian such as using sweat as water, to the fantastic, such as firebending magic shows.

6. The Tone. While FMA is praised for it’s dark tone, I think it has a habit of kind of wallowing in it’s darkness too much, especially in regards to the Ishvalan war. While it’s good to have dark moments and even an overall dark tone, I found FMA to not really utilize it’s darkness well. I often felt like the darkness was just dragging everything down into a kind of depressing miasma. The best example I can give with Avatar is Korra Alone which is the most consistently depressing episode of the entire franchise but it is all born out in Korra’s character whereas with FMA it’s mostly worldbuilding/ character development for side characters and doesn’t go into it enough to really justify how relentlessly dark it can get.

7. Winry. Ok this mostly comes up in one episode: Her Reason, but it is essentially just an exaggeration of her normal problems. She comes off as selfish, conceited, and acts like the world revolves around her. She doesn’t consider the emotions of others and never apologizes when she makes a mistake, letting those around her take the blame. At best she just comes across as a kind of boring love interest. Compare this to Avatar, where even the most love interest focused characters such as Yue, Suki and Opal are still pretty strong characters even if they aren’t super deep. And they have the ability to rebuff their love interests if they are acting like jerks without resorting to violence, something that Anime characters seem to have difficulty doing.

8. Izumi. OH MY GOD. If there is one thing I HATE about FMA it is Izumi. She is hateful, hypocritical, uncaring and oh yeah ABUSES CHILDREN! Now I get that in a dangerous world sparing is necessary even if they get their butts’ kicked. However, leaving two prepubescent boys on an island by themselves for a month with a guy who kicks the crap out of them IS ABUSE and no life lesson is worth the trauma that would have resulted from this in real life. There is also the insufferable tendency of the show to follow up her abuse with kindness which is the exact thing an ABUSER would do to fuck with their victims emotions. I could go on for awhile about Izumi, but instead I will compare with Avatar. Iroh is one of the most amazing characters in fiction, at first he may seem like the wise old mentor stereotype but it's quickly apparent that he is a bit of a goofball, but also deeply kind and caring, even putting up with his largely ungrateful nephew. And as we learn, Iroh used to be a very different person and his journey reflects the journey of other characters. In LOK we have Tenzin who is a rather flawed mentor in that he takes himself way too seriously and is rather inflexible in his ways. However he deeply loves his family and culture, learns a lot over the course of the series, and while he is a bit stiff he is also kind of a doormat so that even when he is acting his worst, it never comes across as malicious because if people were really fed up with him they could just ignore him and all he would do is harumph.

As for the Movie, all I will say is that while I liked what it did with the kind of silly plot point at the end of the series. However I don’t think it did enough with it, I wish that most of if not all of the characters had been universe swaps. And in addition, I wish it did more with this concept, turning Hughes into a stick in the mud, single, Nazi was a bad move. It would have been fascinating if they kept the same characters but showed how might they react in a vastly different situation. For example what if Hughes was his usual self, with a family, and because of this he is terrified that the weakness of Germany is a threat to his family, hence why he would reluctantly join up with the Nazis. Ideas like this could have given a lot of depth to the story. Oh, and the villain sucks. Yes FMA made a dimension hopping Nazi boring, with her entire motivation tying into the on the nose moral of “Racism is bad M’kay?”

However, despite all this, I don’t think Avatar has spoiled everything for me. When I look back to Trigun I remember how invested I became in the characters to the point of being moved to tears on multiple occasions and I consider Vash, Wolfwood and Milly to be characters I will always remember and love.

[preciousyellowidiot-blog]

Some ramble. Mostly about Kida. I love Kida okay.

First of all, I’m not 100% sure as to why I’m posting this hahaha, but I always like to talk about Durarara!! so here I am again!

Like all my posts actually this is a purely copy pasted with no editing of me annoying my friends with this serie. It is NOT meant to be a professional review or something or be an objective insight of the serie it is purely personal.

Now before you read this does this have salt? WELL YEAH looking at it again personally and since it was meant as me talking one on one with someone, yeah it does have salt.

Salt mostly come from the 2010 and about fandom when the serie was ALL THE RAGE. It has been 7 years. The community is much calmer now I guess.

Now before you read this again...

Is Kida a perfect character? No. Not at all. I could list 12309123 stupid things the kid did, that doesn’t stop him from being my personal fave. I just... talk about the parts I wanna talk about.

Do I hate Izaya? No, though I could talk a lot about fanon Izaya, but I TOTALLY put fan content and interpretation apart from canon. I *LOVE* canon Izaya. Absolutely. I could talk about him too. If this makes me come pass as hating the character, I’m sorry it’s not the case.

I’m 16 and I love Durarara!! and BL why me?! Obviously I’m generalizing, obviously I’m flawed. And I do really like yaoi hahaha. I’m just a person who talks too much about a serie I love and ends up posting it. I think I’m pretty disconnected to the movement of manga/anime community in general, see me as someone who just comes like *pokes head in the room* “Ey guys here’s my insight”.

Are you complaining about the fan content? I won’t hide it, yeah. Am I hypocritical since I do some and consume some? A bit I guess. I’m naturally a canon purist, but really I’m a human being. I’m not white and black. Plenty of times I did the fan thing with friends sharing fanarts and shit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If you’ve seen me two years ago I had some shit because I said something about Shizuo x Izaya... and ironically nobody knew I actually like the ship to some extent. Depending of its portrayal I enjoy it plenty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the Durarara!! anime, they kept mostly Kida’s airhead/flirty facade and removed the darker, mature part of him mostly (I mean they kept big parts of it through his inner monologue which I love). I noticed a lot of anime fans think he's pretty stupid and get on their nerves. And I mean he is stupid about things he does don't get me wrong he does a lot of stuff wrong, but there's a depth in character to him that isn't shown.The thing about Kida is that he looks like an idiot, but he's hiding his dominant and threatening facade. So in the second part of the anime, where it is his time to shine and be all badass, he looks just pretty pathetic tbh. (NOT that he must not look pathetic at some point the boy is at the end of his roll)

(I love so many things about the new manga like HOW AOBA LITERALLY SHOWS UP IN KIDA'S CLOTHES.THINKING YOU CAN REPLACE HIM.YOU MOTHERFUKCER.)

Lately I was really happy because since I've had Kida's blog (about two years?) I've had spiked of people sending messages to talk about the serie and what to get out from it, like confusing parts and stuff. 

And often I'm like

"W8 like the serie ended in the 2000s you never―"

No because apparently outside BL fanfictions there's nothing very highlighted in what I’ve seen in the fandom on multiple social medias (for example most of whatever I see on Kida is... Mikida, or how much Saki is such a fake girlfriend). Like how can I put it it takes A LAAAAAAARGE PLACE and it makes my eyes open in... surprise I guess. Then again, the serie is known for having an audience like this.

Durarara!! was written off like the Monogatari (IDK why it’s the first example I have) serie of some sort, it was mostly a mystery light novel mixed with slice of life with some sexy mysterious female characters.

At first, young adults were drawn to it by its more down-to-earth theme and also teenagers because of the cool characters and all. Then it grew om popularity somehow with the male characters. Even the author at some point commented how surprising it was for him. So the novels took the initial direction of the mystery story and so did the manga which is extremely close to the novels.

While the anime studio, after the first anime part (which is what made the popularity burst) went "huehuehue let's make money out of fujoshis" and it's only that.I really feel like the second part of Durarara!! where fanon portrayals sometimes eh. "Oh no, Kida is not supposed to be a more matured (compared to his initial maturity) BUT STILL BOYISH and impulsive gang leader in part two who fixed his issues, no he needs to be a dorky shota boy." Me: oh godammit.

I did talk about the anime/manga in the past.

(The French community I was active in really liked mostly the mystery parts with Celty, the yakuzas and Shizuo. Then again I mostly talked to adult males, the younger members had other interests (which weren’t necessarily bad I’m NOT saying omg we were so elitist liking Durarara!! while you guys were watching Naruto it’s just it wasn’t as popular. So there may be just me being shocked at suddenly 360° different insight.) I had awesome talks with them and I still get a lot of great talks on here too!

I take real pride so far I got messages of 14 people to watch the entirety of DRRR!! and 3 to read the novels solely because of my blog? With 3 people who rewatched the serie to focus on Kida and sending me messages about how they now get his character and other characters better?

That's like. To me the ultimate goal? It was entirely unintentional on my part, tbh I just expected salt and shiet like I had back when the serie was more popular and eeeyyy!

I mean. You can’t say you wouldn’t be totally happy for people to say they love the serie you like and your fave because of you..!

A lot of Durarara!! with its deep characters are the subtlety in it (on top of my head I think the Van Gang is the biggest one in it, like how Erika and Walker’s darker side is, JUST LIKE WITH A LOT OF CHARACTERS, shown with comedy which totally turns off the threatening side of it). I will sound mean I guess (but he got enough love to patch a rough part) but Izaya's character is a lot about "I love all humans" and "humans are my peons"... however he's not one of the most interesting character (to me); he's the one clearest to read in its "philosophical edginess", thus why to me he's so popular among the teen viewers (he has a VERY interesting insight in other ways but I believe it is not in the same direction). Izaya is a complex character. But is he most complex than the others? I don’t think so. In my view, his complexity is easier to see at first glance, but that doesn’t mean he’s less complex than others who are harder to ponder upon.

Izaya will say a deep philosophical monologue, like when he convinces in first episode a teenage girl to kill herself (which although it wasn’t in the novel was a very strong and well summarized scene to present him - novels imply things, but showing it in a visual medium is an excellent idea). Somehow in the fandom, a lot of quotes of DRRR!! are with Izaya's philosophy and often tagged as "too real", while the rest of the serie shows not with words but with actions that Izaya's point of view is not that true (the point of the story being "The world isn't as bad as you think" when it's in a yakuza and tragic setting).

Even characters verbally contradict him but of course they're side characters and not the hottest so we'll never quote them in posts uh.

(That's what really hit me when I came to tumblr. I normally watch a lot lot lot lot of things, but after I'm done I move on and don't do anything about it but talk about it to my IRL friends. Meeting internet fandoms was like a huge slap in the face.)

It's not that I don't like him, Izaya is pretty much in an edgy teenage phase and doesn't wnat to get out of it. In the novels he himself state that "I'm forever 2X." and refuses aging. His whole character is about staying in his teens. Young fandom sees it as extremely deep, while really it is quite simple, just that his philosophy, which is what literally every teenager goes through, is somehow put on a pedestal because of his charisma.

The point of Izaya's character is that he's so screwed but so charismatic he swoons teenagers (such as Saki) - if you notice every adult characters take him as a moron and a kid. Izaya plays with teenagers because they're weaker and has a hard time manipulating adults. Which I find in itself both ironic and kind of annoying because his charismatic manipulation works on the fandom like????? They believe him??????? Like talking about his quotes. One of Izaya’s quote is after he got Saki in a coma (and implied sexual abuse and shit by a gang...) and that Kida is pretty much there (14 years old jfc) not knowing what to do and realizing he was deceived.

Izaya tells him "Your guilt will be your past, and that will be your God."

And it is true, for the year Kida spends. When he tries to turn a new page to have a peaceful life with Mikado, he still go see Saki everyday after school and he's so strong to get past his fucked up past that he eventually goes to Saki to formally break up with her. Because now he has a normal life with his childhood friend and is looking for even a new girlfriend (which is Anri who he is genuinely interested in).

Of course Izaya told Saki to plant seeds in Kida's mind, such as her faking to not be able to walk anymore because he wants Kida to still feel guilty or have her say things like "In all girls you'll see me. You'll hug her, kiss her, but you'll always love only me."

Then in the serie, Kyohei tells Kida "If you want to run from your past, fine. But whatever you do, don't run away from your present or worse, your future. No matter how much you try to escape it, you can't get away from what you were part of."

And then in the season finale, that's when Kida says in his inner monologue. "Saki, I'm not afraid anymore; I'll catch up to my past very soon." And then he pretty much goes to kill someone and kill himself in the process.

And I'm like

LITERALLY the whole serie and Kida's arc and Kyohei completely fucks up what Izaya tried to do since the beginning (or try patching up the broken pieces). So why is Izaya's quote  "Your guilt will be your past, and that will be your God." is the only one I see in every goddamn post.

I’m not saying what Izaya says is 100% false, but it’s WAY not 100% true. Durarara!! itself shows a grey area everywhere, with tones of being lighter although at first glance it seems darker.

And people talks about Kida like "Bouhou lots of self-deprecation and depression he never forgets his past" and I'm like "what no the whole serie sees him moving on". The whole point of Kida's arc is his recovery even if everything wants to pull him back to where he was before. The only time he re-dives in it's to die so he can protect Anri.

Literally the kid more or less does every first good steps to have a better life and life just shit on him.

After getting manipulated by the only adult he trust during an extremely fragile preteen period, spent all your teenage insecurities into a bloody bludgeoning gang war in Ikebukuro (with fucking preteens, preteens don’t DO THAT) and have your girlfriend beaten (and implied more) and into a coma. Man at 14 I would have fucked up so bad.

And Kida just sits down to his computer and is like "I can have a new life, I must not give up." and invites his best friend to Ikebukuro, the only stable and loving element of his life he has (maybe not thee best thing but ey kid’s 15 now, alone, no guidance, pls I’m lonely Mikado come to me). And then he even finds a new girl to pursue. He goes to his toxic girlfriend who’s totally enamored and obsessed with Izaya and tells her "We're done now." and leaves, even if inside him he still loves her, but he knows it's not good for him. (It ends up with Saki realizing, telling everything Izaya has done, apologizes and Kida being too good for this world and forgives her)

He only comes back into the gang after he heard a gang attacked Anri. And he knows that to protect her from this huge new gang, he has to fight fire with fire and the whole time he's depressed, keep screaming in his head THEY BROUGHT ME BACK... FUCK because he's going to the start since his recovery. But Kida sees Anri has way more important than him, thus why he “sacrifices” himself to keep her innocence, which is why he’s so shocked when it is hinted that Anri is involved in more and ends up with her slapping him. Pretty much he thinks everything he’s done is for nothing and that the one he tried to protect so much was as backstabbing and fucked up as the rest of the people he put his trust into.

THEN OH JOY HE REALIZES THE GANG WHO WAS SAID TO ATTACK ANRI is the gang who attacked Saki (so both girls he liked were screwed by the Blue Squares)

And afterwards his best friend becomes obsessed with the gang world and becomes the leader of the gang who fucked his girlfriend and tried to get Anri. (I mean the members are methods are not the same with Aoba coming back, but it is still the same flag, the same organization, etc.)

BUT HE STILL FIGHTS. That guy needs hugs.

[childofraddblog]

Tonight I got to watch 2 Netflix original films. Okja is an original film that I had been very excited for and was fairly confident that I would enjoy. Death Note, an American adaptation of my favorite manga series of all time and a popular anime, was a piece of work I was far more on the fence about. After all Hollywood doesn't necessarily have the best record in adapting Japanese works of fiction. [Verdict] Okja - A wonderful story about a girl's journey to save her pet super pig from being slaughtered in a factory and served on the mass market alongside its kin. Crawling with overarching themes of animal cruelty, corporate greed and activism, though the film chooses to make a focus of them at times overall I felt the director Bong Joon Ho was deftly able to keep the focus primarily on the relationship between Mija and the titular Okja [also the aforementioned super pig]. Joon Ho also has a great sense of comedy, often sneaking in incredible amounts of laugh worthy moments during the most dire of situations through the mannerisms of the characters or the framing of a certain shot. There's also often many little things going throughout a shot so if you lose focus of the main players of a scene you still won't be bored by a scene. This adds to its rewatchability status as there is so much to discover just based off of the background interactions alone. Finally, the actors characters all did wonderful with their characters. Being deftly over the top when necessary or calmly subdued for the same reason. Tilda Swinton is great as the evil Mirando, Seo-Hyeon Ahn who plays Mija portrays being a kid in stellar fashion. Often not completely understanding a situation, or jumping into a dire situation because she is a kid and will do what she wants. Overall, Okja is an incredible fantasy piece wrapped in real world issues and as long as that doesn't bother you I highly recommend it. ------ [Verdict] Death Note - Guys, listen. It's no secret Hollywood sucks at adapting Japanese stories. Usually it's under the assumption that these stories can't work as American films because they're told through a Japanese lens. Fictionalizing an Asian experience or culture. However, if there is one story that can bridge that gap quite clearly based on the very idea of what it is it's Death Note. A very smart high schooler receives a notebook that kills people, he likes it, and a very smart detective uses logic to go after him. There is a whole thing about Death Gods but their lore is very rarely explored in this story that is at its core about greedy humans and the battle of Light vs. Darkness. Geniunely, you can't get more American than that. Or at the very least multi-culturally transcendent. And yet director Adam Wingard and the execs of Netflix still manage to screw it up. Somehow believing they had to make functionary changes to the story and the characters in a way that ultimately makes them very unrealistic (and by proxy unAmerican) based on how plain generic and cliche they are. Instead there's focus placed on the Japanese thing in the entire series, Ryuk the death god, and even that is only used in an okay manner. Truthfully though, Ryuk was my favorite thing in this movie. Light is no longer a sociopath (Americans won't root for those in a show because there's just no way to make them nuanced enough to give them any empathy. Not like someone successfully wrote 108 chapters based off the very idea.) willing to use the Death Note for what he twistedly perceives to be the greater good. Literally he's frightened into doing it by Ryuk the first time, the second time he does it for emotional revenge, and all the other times after that he does it to impress a girl who gives him nookie in exchange for lives. It's disgusting. And the less said about Mia, the bettet. L, the subtle and logical super detective who successfullh deduces that Light is Kira mostly does so on a forced hunch and retains his persona of L in name only. Though L's mannerism in the original series are present they are only there to showcase L as a quirky character whom we couldn't possibly relate to. Completely glossing over why L developed those mannerisms in the first place, like how he sits in chairs, or eats sweets constantly, or the fact that he is a purely logical creature that doesn't allow himself to succumb to emotion. The last of which in that list is never present as we get an L that runs strictly on emotion which eventually causes him to compromise his own operation and often undercuts his admitedly amateur deduction skills. This movie is a not a game of cat and mouse. L and Light are never given the chance to bond truly interact with one another causing their friction as adversaries to fall flat. Neither of these characters are smart and painfully shows in the latter half of this film. The more I think about it this film has no story. A guy gets a notebook, his girlfriend uses it better than he does, he pisses off a cop, and just as the story begins what should have been the third act it cuts out. Rolling credits as two characters are in the middle of a conversation and one character who is not Light struggles with the idea of using the Death Note to get his revenge. There is literally no resolution to the story. Only Mia has an end to her arc and that's because it's really contrived in a painfully laughable way towards the end. I am all for thematic endings that leave the viewers with morally ambiguous questions to mull over as their journey comes to an end, the original manga ending to Death Note does that. But it has an end. Some stories get resolved in some fashion. Not all, but enough. I have never experienced a film like the American Death Note that literally cuts out in the very middle of the third act reaching no climax what-so-ever. Finally, the actors. Willem Dafoe as Ryuk is literally the best thing this movie achieves. I would watch an entire movie if Dafoe as Ryuk. Lakeith Stanfield who plays L does a good job with what he is given, but he never feels like L because he was directed to act like a weirdo while we never once get to know the weirdo. Margaret Qualley I would also does a pretty decent job as Mia. Mia's just a terrible character like the rest of them. Manipulative but never in a truly evil way, just in a cliche "I'm doing what's best for you but only because it ultimately serves me kind of way." Nat Wolff who plays Light is just plain awful in the role. Watch the scene where he meets Ryuk for the first time, or any of the scenes where he's trying to impress Mia. That first option literally made me think this movie was a comedy at first. Death Note is one of the worst American adaptations of a Japanese property I have ever seen. Not as bad as Dragon Ball Evolution, but Ghost in the Shell was definitely better. And that movie literally made whitewashing the central focus of its story.