#it was just easier to pretend they were than to confront reality

[ginzuras]

still thinking abt the ashfur redemption au if anyone was wondering

[licncourt]

What do you think Lestat's pov is for iwtv era, book wise?

If Lestat were to frame their past how do you think he would explain it. Apart from the tiny almost non existent reaction he had to Louis' book, in TVL.

Honestly it's hard to say, I think it would really depend on when you asked him. I totally believe his emotional reaction was way bigger than he let on in TVL (obviously), but privately I can imagine there was a lot of internal conflict of guilt vs anger, what he wants to believe about the past vs what he knows to be true.

I don't believe (despite what he says) that he actually feels like Louis was lying that much. Obviously he's going to say that, but deep down I think he knows that what WAS said was largely true, as filled with ommissions as it probably is. That seems like more what he's mad about actually, the ommissions, and he does bring that up more than once. Obviously he sees things as much more complex than Louis does or at least more than he lets on.

It seems like what he really wanted was just for Louis to acknowledge the love he had for Lestat and the good times since that's what Lestat thinks matter the most. There was no chance Louis was going to do that, but in a lot of ways Lestat is big on fairness, it's extremely important to him. He doesn't like when things are unfair and he can take a lot more when he feels like something is justified. Unfairness sends him into a tailspin, he really cannot cope with it the way a normal person can.

In his mind, I'm sure their time together was more of a mixed bag than it's presented in IWTV, with the positives being of greater importance. He knows things were....fraught, but I think he's more able to see the good than Louis is and remember it less tainted. I love Louis dearly, but he's a very bitter person and it's very easy for him to shut down and start throwing blame around when he's unhappy. It's how he copes with hard things. Lestat gets angry and Louis gets bitter, it's just how they are.

The flip side to Lestat seeing both sides though is that it's a lot easier for him to romanticize their relationship, especially since he was the one getting what he wanted in a lot of the ways that count. He's able to project a lot onto Louis and assume they were on the same page a lot more often than they actually were when in reality Louis had just been strong-armed into going along with things. That's not what Lestat thinks of it though, in his mind it's just "we agreed on this thing and now he's acting weird about it".

I'm sure it's hard for him to confront the fact that Louis really was unhappy a lot of the time, not just playing it up as a punishment or whatever. We know that Lestat loves to pretend things are/were fine and it seems unlikely that he could just let go of that coping mechanism right away, maybe ever.

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle between the hostage situation Louis describes and the troubled but happy family Lestat says he remembers, and I'm sure they both know that the way they portray what happened isn't exactly accurate, though they clearly believe it to some degree. Lestat is just on the side of "well things were good sometimes so really what we had going on was inherently fine".

[sophie-summer]

It's so sad how everyone seemed to be hidding their true emotions when they first encountered MC.

Like everyone else, I found the reactions from the LIs to be out of place. They didn't align with our expectations, not because we were seeking a dramatic reunion (which we absolutely were), but because the relationships they all shared with MC had a profound impact on their lives.

For Mal, it meant striving to become a better person and helping others instead of solely focusing on what's best for him.

For Nia, it was about discovering her own path in life, defying everything she was raised to believe in, and realizing that the world isn't just black and white.

For Tyril, it involved moving beyond a life driven by revenge and honor, letting go of the anger and allowing himself to open up to others, simply enjoying life.

For Imtura, I believe it was about becoming vulnerable to others, allowing people from outside her world to enter it, and disregarding any prejudices others might hold about her being an orc.

Having MC, who helped shape them into the people they've become, and who helped them see what truly matters to them, and a dear friend suddenly ripped out of their lives, it's such a traumatic experience.

But after last character, I began to wonder: What if they were just pretending? What if they were simply putting on a strong facade for the person they felt they had let down? Perhaps it was easier for them to act as if MC had only gone away for a brief vacation than to confront the reality of the feelings they had experienced during a whole year of trying, unsuccessfully, to bring MC back.

They carried their own pain from the loss but also felt guilty for failing her, remorse for continuing with their lives without knowing MC's fate, and anger for their inability to bring her back.

For them, it was easier to appear happy than to discuss these emotions.

Of course, it's possible that this was PB trying to redeem themselves after the previous chapters. Either way, I'm sooooo enjoying this

[spuffybot]

The new season of Vanderpump Rules is airing in a month and I’m so not ready for the world to turn on Ariana.

For those of you who don’t know, Ariana’s long term bf (9 years, owned a home together) was cheating on her with one of her best friends and cast mates for 7 months. The discovery and fallout went viral and became a pop culture sensation (covered by the news, major talk shows, etc etc). The world rallied behind Ariana and she turned the scandal into lucrative business deals including a book, a majorly successful run on DWTS, and now a role in Chicago on Broadway.

The problem is, people have short memories, especially when it comes to women and their pain and anger.

I’m reading a book called Trauma and Recovery by Judith L. Herman, and in it she discusses how people are more comfortable siding with the abuser / oppressor because it requires nothing of them except to pretend the abuse never happened. When we side with the “victim” we take on their pain, we empathize with them, and this can take a toll. It’s a lot easier to put it out of your mind than it is to take up for the person who was harmed.

We already saw this start to happen after the reunion aired (in Bravo reality tv, the cast watches the show and then gets together for a reunion where they confront each other over what they watched). At the reunion Ariana was angry and she didn’t hide it. She had only found out about the affair a few weeks prior and the pain was fresh. She didn’t hide her hurt, her rage, or her pain. It was truly cathartic and beautiful to watch, but many people started to turn on her. They were willing to rally behind her when she was the saintly victim of an affair, but not when she was vengeful and raw and open. Comments online went from calling her “queen” to saying she “went too far” a common occurrence when women are vulnerable and express their emotions without censoring them.

It’s been months since that reunion aired and Ariana has used that time to shine. She had an amazing run on DWTS and just announced a run on Broadway as Roxie Hart. Though she gained notoriety through the scandal she has more than proven she deserves these opportunities, demonstrating her incredible dancing skills week after week. And yet, already I see people saying it’s “too much” that they’re “over” Ariana and it’s “unfair” that she get these opportunities.

As we gear up for a new season, I fear the tide will continue to turn. Ariana has even expressed concerns herself:

Add to the situation the fact that her ex, Tom Sandoval is a fan favorite who has been on the show since day 1 and you have an audience who is primed to turn their backs on Ariana in favor of the comfort of enjoying Tom and his antics.

We see this scenario play out in real life all the time. It’s much easier to ask women to bottle up their pain and “be the bigger person” than it is to hold men accountable for their actions. No one’s life should be ruined over an affair, Tom is worthy of forgiveness and moving on, but why do we prioritize men’s comfort over women’s pain? Why can’t we create space for Ariana to still be angry and hurt, even if it’s awkward and uncomfortable for those around her? Why can’t we root for her to win, regardless of how much time has passed? Why are we always turning on women the second their pain becomes inconvenient?

We see this narrative play out in all corners of life. Those with chronic pain are viewed as complainers and fakers because accommodating their lived reality is inconvenient. We turn off social media or “check out” when the weight of suffering in the news becomes too much. We get annoyed with friends who are depressed and won’t “snap out of it” and we avoid those who are grieving or suffering heartbreak because it’s awkward.

There’s a cultural push to judge and condemn those whose pain is “too much” and who don’t let it go. But pain and trauma and healing doesn’t work like that.

I don’t have the answers but I hope I’m wrong. I hope this season airs and we can continue to root for Ariana, to show up for her pain and her joy in equal measure and to continue to believe she is worthy of success. It may seem silly to care so much about reality tv, but this situation just mirrors things I see play out every day. I hope we can collectively learn to hold space for the uncomfortable, the awkward, and the painful even when we don’t understand it.

[giantchasm]

Hello. May you like to share any recent Susie-isms on your brain 👁👁

(Or any Kirby blorbo honestly. I just like your character vibes)

OUUUGHHHH. SUSIE MY FRIEND SUSIE. SHE'S EVERYTHING TO ME.

(Sorry this answer is a few days late, but I really do have a lot of thoughts about her)

Recently I've been thinking abt her relationship w mechanization a lot recently. I know it's left ambiguous in canon whether or not she's actually part machine, but she's suuuuch a robotgirl to me.

This bitch has a microchip in her brain and mechanical hands and big scary LED eyes. But also they're kinda cute and when she's choosing how to get dressed up every day she can decide on different colors and even symbols like hearts in her eyes to match whatever cute and/or unhinged vibe she's going for.

She's only part robot, but sometimes she wishes she were all robot. Life would be easier if she was perfect and unfeeling and cold and didn't make mistakes. But sadly she can't fully mechanize herself because then "She'd effectively die," and while she sometimes wonders if that would be for the best (Replacing herself with a better version of herself and all), she knows it would unfortunately make her friends sad.

Even though she's not a real robot she uses it/its pronouns sometimes and has an acronym picked out for what S.U.S.I.E allegedly stands for because she likes feeling like a machine anyways.

She has a complicated relationship with her robotics sometimes because for a long time she was convinced they made her superior to everyone else, but now that she's learning that's not true and that mechanization was apparently "a horrific thing to do to people," she occasionally wonders if people see her as some kind of freak.

But she tries not to think about it! She's better than everyone else, OK? She has to believe that. Or else she'll spiral.

Although most of her is mechanical and because of that she can't feel super well, one of her hands is still flesh and secretly she likes it when people hold it.

She thinks about her dad a lot. Her relationship with him is soooo complicated. Sometimes she hates him, but she misses him just as much. There's so much anger mixed in with crushing sadness. She wonders if he'd despise her for everything she did. She can't really blame him. She despises him too. Doesn't make it any easier, though. And so she just. Tries not to think about it. And fails.

Taranza (He's her best friend, ok?) tells her it's okay to let herself grieve and process those complicated feelings, but that's not always easy for her. She doesn't even know where to begin.

She's a loser. An unhinged, emotionally damaged wreck of a woman. Someone in the fandom as of late has taken to referring to her as 'Losie' and they're so right. I need less content of Susie actually being a girlboss and more content of Susie desperately trying to pretend to be a girlboss while actually just barely pretending to cling to her sanity with her fingernails.

Susie's interesting to me in that she like. Wears a mask on top of a mask. She pretends to be this honestly pretty nice silly cutesy unbothered chick to people she doesn't know well, but in 'reality,' she sees herself as this realistic, unbothered, cynical and strong person. But she's not that either. She's fooling even herself. Deep down, what Susie is is a scared, angry, sad little girl. Like she's not a little girl anymore-- she's a grown woman, but she'll always be the same scared little girl who got lost in Another Dimension. And she hates that fact. So she won't acknowledge it.

Funfact: in my headcanons when she first started going by 'Susie' it was when she initially got back from Another Dimension. After being forced to confront the fact that her dad didn't recognize her and being mechanized to join the company, she decided that the old Susanna was dead and she was someone new. Someone who would never cry again. She's not, but it's nice to pretend.

I also like to think she literally can't cry anymore-- LED eyes and all. Doesn't mean she doesn't want to sometimes, though.

She hates it when anyone calls her Susanna. Except Taranza. He can get away with it occasionally.

He, Magolor, Kirby and the Mage Sisters are her closest friends. She doesn't really like to admit it, but they're her buddies... even if there was some strife between her and the Mage Sisters at one point (I wrote a whole fic about this. I'm working on making it presentable to upload)

She pretends she doesn't like Magolor, but she does. See: this idea I came up with the other night and still can't get off my mind.

But then after that they pretend they didn't have a moment. NO, Kirby. You DIDN'T find them quivering and holding hands. Shut up.

Susie is weirdly liked amongst her employees. She's not even that good of a boss. Like she's a cold, calculating bitch. But after Star Dream shut down a lot of the technology that kept mechanized people functioning and alive started shutting down and she fixed all of the Haltworkers one by one. She didn't think anything of it-- she was just trying not to lose valuable workers, which would be a stupid waste of money, but now they love her. I think more than anything she just seems like an okay boss in comparison because Haltmann was so hilariously mean to his employees when in reality she's still pretty draconian.

She's trying to do better now, though! She's learning to care about 'ethics.'

When she was 7 years old and before she experienced the horrors she read Space Warrior Cats. Space Warrior Cats is exactly like real Warrior Cats except every character has 'Space' in front of their name (I.E. "Space Firestar.)

I love this hot pink bitch named breakfast.

[spellbookss]

DISCLAIMER

Although I've gone through numerous YouTube videos covering practically all of Rolan's dialogue options, the story of this NPC is pretty vague and leaves a lot of room for creative interpretation. While I try to stay true to Rolan's character as portrayed in the game, I'll use headcanons to add depth to him.

BACKSTORY

Rolan's early years in Elturel were tough. He spent his early childhood in an orphanage where he endured neglect and abuse because - you guessed it - he was a Tiefling. He eventually fled, finding himself struggling to survive on the streets.

Fortunately, not for long.

Rolan's luck turned when he was taken in by the mother of Lia and Cal. Embraced into their family, Rolan, Cal, and Lia formed a close bond; they’ve been thick as thieves ever since.

It was a loving home, but a poor one. They struggled to make ends meet. 

Despite the family's financial struggles, Rolan harbored aspirations of becoming a renowned wizard - he always has. He wanted to be someone. However, the cost of arcane education was way beyond their means. Still, whenever Rolan got his hands on a spellbook, he’d study relentlessly (Lia probably stole books for him whenever possible). What he lacked in knowledge, he made up with ambition.

Over time, the family's situation improved, and they attained a solid middle-class status. 

Things were looking promising, for all of them. Especially when Lorroakan answered Rolan's letter and accepted him as an apprentice! Oh, he was overjoyed. This was a dream come true!

Unfortunately, that happiness was short-lived. When HELL broke loose in Elturel, literally, everything they had worked for was lost in an instant. 

Their mother died before they could flee.

Rolan didn't handle it well. He latched onto the idea of becoming Lorroakan's apprentice; it was a means of escaping the harsh reality of his situation and despite facing the same hardships as other refugees, Rolan convinced himself that he was somehow “better”, superior. It was easier for him to play pretend than to confront the painful truth that he was just as broken.

PERSONALITY

Due to his past, he is a very guarded person. He doesn't like to rely on others and asking for help is a struggle for him. Rolan is very ambitious, would take an arrow for those he loves, and his heart is bigger than he lets on because oh boy, we don't need more emotional pain and being a prick is a great defense mechanism.

He struggles with feelings of inadequacy hello childhood trauma and neglect, so behind all that ego is actually a very vulnerable man who puts way too much pressure on himself and is terrified of disappointing or losing those he loves.

VERSES

(pre-) ACT I ; Refugee

During or before the Emerald Grove. Having been through so much suffering, he will try to mask his fear with a cold, arrogant demeanor. Despite his apparent indifference towards others, he genuinely cares, but he suppresses it because the well-being of his family is paramount. He cannot risk losing them.

ACT II ; Lost in the Shadows

During the events at Last Light Inn, either before or after the rescue of his siblings.

ACT III ; Apprentice (main verse)

He desperately wants to make a name for himself and provide his siblings, as well as himself, with the life they deserve, enduring even Lorroakan's abuse in the process.

ACT III ; Master of the Tower

Post Lorroakan, maybe even post the events of the game. Aspiring to become the greatest wizard of Baldur's Gate. Scratch that. The greatest wizard of the Sword Coast.

[schrijverr]

Tomorrow Will Be Different 11

Chapter 11 out of 26

Instead of managing to meet up later, Oliver has to keep running with Akio. The only way to keep them safe is to go public with Oliver being alive, leaving him back home in charge of Akio, while Tatsu and Maseo are still in the wind

In this chapter, Oliver is home, but it doesn't really feel like home. It is difficult to be there and a confrontation with Laurel makes him realize how he's been running, even if he has stayed there.

On AO3.

Ships: past Laurel x Oliver referenced

Warnings: mentions of death (Sara and Robert)

~~~

Chapter 11: Complicated Side Effects of a Homecoming

Being home is a lot more complicated than he thought, Oliver realizes quickly. He dreamed so long of it, but it was only fantasy. The reality is very different.

When he dreamed of returning, he always imagined things being like the used to be, that he could pick up his life as he had lived it, as if he never left. When he dreamed like that, he knew that he had changed a lot, but in a way it appealed to him to become the naive boy that shipwrecked, the one without blood on his hands.

However, he can���t be that boy anymore.

Maybe if he had returned that day when he was at the docks with Akio, Tatsu and Maseo, it would have been different. Amanda was going to let him go as a castaway, no complex background that forced him to be a little bit open about what he had been through, no child to explain. Then he could’ve at least slipped back in the facade of his former and ease some of the tensions at home.

Because he is fine. Truly.

His definition of fine has been permanently warped, but he’s good at compartmentalizing and if he can just live like he always has, he’s sure he can pick his life back up and settle in as he processes everything at his own pace.

Now, however, his mom and Thea feel the constant need to ask if he’s okay, trying to get him to talk about what happened, because they think it will help.

Oliver doesn’t want to talk about what happened. Not only can’t he, because he has to stick with this fabricated lie, at least until Shrieve has been shut down, but he also doesn’t want to. He never wants his family to know that he has killed people, tortured them. That he has lost so much, despite starting with nothing on that island.

He knows that he is not a good man, that he can never be that naive boy again. But if he was able to pretend, this would be easier.

Being himself is hard.

It’s kind of sad in a way, that it takes being home for him to realize that all he has worked towards can slip through his fingers, just because he doesn’t know who he is anymore. Well… he knows who he is, he just can’t be that person here. Always being on guard, always being ready for violence, it tends to be frowned upon in polite society.

Even his newfound responsibility is being met with confused judgment. There was a time when his mom would have killed for him being a tad less irresponsible – even if it were just to keep the legal costs of his escapades down – but now that he has decided to show up for a kid, who is not only his friend, but also been through a lot without it being his fault or choice, she struggles with him not being irresponsible.

So he keeps reaching back for the Ollie she knew, trying to appease her and show her some familiarity in his face when he knows she’s looking for it. Thea too, probably Tommy as well. But they all seem to know it’s not real, seem to almost expect him to break down.

It’s exhausting to keep up with trying to be on guard enough to not stress out, but not so much it puts others off, while trying to figure out who he is, even though people are expecting him to be who he used to be, but when he is that, they know it’s false, so they want him to be himself, however, himself is not who they want him to be, because he is so serious now and maybe a little broken, but he doesn’t know who he is without those broken pieces.

All in all, it’s confusing and upsetting, and it’s easier to just avoid the whole thing. So he spends most of his days back home avoiding everyone he used to know and helping Akio set up.

He isn’t forcing him to continue his classes, but has provided everything he needs should he want to and encourages him to continue living, so that he doesn’t have to play catch up when he’s back with his parents.

Akio has bounced back pretty well. Despite a lot of people thinking that his parents will never be found, Oliver’s assurances that it’s just because of their cover has done wonders and Akio lets it glide off his back, just saying: ��Tomorrow will be different,” when Oliver asks if he’s okay.

Oliver knows his mom is slightly judgmental about ‘letting him live with that fantasy’ and ‘not thinking about his future,’ but after a harsh fight about it on his second night that resulted in Oliver storming out with Akio and not returning until the morning, she has been keeping her judgment to herself at least.

Thea is also still weird around Akio and is avoiding home as much as Oliver is. There was a time when he was her whole world, but now there’s a chasm between them and Oliver doesn’t know how to approach her or what to say.

Diggle has been the only good thing. Tommy too, in a way, but it’s clear that he has no clue what to do with Akio and there is this odd schism in their friendship. Where they used to be on the same page, Oliver is now in a different book and hanging out isn’t the same. So, he forgoes that too in favor of going around with Akio and Diggle.

Big Belly Burger has become a standard hang out spot for the three of them, but Oliver has also found himself a patron of the library. Akio prefers his laptop, but it’s a quiet space where they can exist and Oliver actually finds himself reading too.

Still, he can’t outrun his life in Starling city, which is proven when he legally gets brought back to life.

The whole procedure has taken a bit longer than expected, because they’ve had to coordinate with the Japanese government surrounding Akio and the complications around making Oliver his legal guardian when he was legally dead and there is no official document. It would all be easier to get Akio under his wing and US citizenship if his parents are dead, but they aren’t; not in Akio and Oliver’s hearts, and not in the eyes of the law either.

However, all has been organized now and the court date behind them. Oliver is alive, both him and Akio have passports of their respective countries, and the details about Oliver’s guardianship have been finalized.

The group is in good spirits, which means that Oliver runs into Laurel when they’re exiting the court room.

Thea didn’t come, but Tommy and Moira both send him questioning looks when he’s faced with Laurel. In a split second, Oliver says: “It’s okay, I’ll catch up.”

Moira and Tommy do so reluctantly, but Diggle stays behind as his shadow and Oliver doesn’t let go of Akio’s hand. Not that Akio would have followed either Tommy or his mom, Oliver has made sure Akio knows never to leave with anyone other than him or Diggle.

“What are you doing?” Laurel asks, though it’s more a demand.

“Well, uhm, I was being brought back to life and getting Akio here the legal works to make his stay with me official,” he answers. “But I’m assuming you meant it as in talking to you.”

“You’d be correct,” Laurel says, angry.

Oliver can’t blame her for that. Slade laughed at him on the island when he said he wanted to apologize. Back then he had some flight of fancy about winning her back, but he has long since let that go. He isn’t the kind of man that should be with anyone and Laurel especially deserves much better than him.

However, he does owe her an apology, so he tells Akio to go to Diggle and watches until the boy is safely with the bodyguard a few paces back. Akio doesn’t need to be in the middle of what is bound to be a fight.

“I want to apologize. It was my fault and I want to ask you not to blame her.”

“For what? Falling under you spell?” Laurel replies, bitterness coating her voice. “How can I possibly blame her for the same thing that I did?”

Yeah, Oliver deserves all that. If he could turn back time, he would. He would spare Laurel the heartbreak and grief, would spare Sara the hurt of being Ivo’s captive, of losing herself and of drowning twice. But he can’t all he can do is weakly say: “I never meant to-”

“She was my sister,” Laurel cuts him off. “I couldn’t be angry, because she was dead. I couldn’t grieve because I was so angry. That’s what happens when your sister dies while screwing your boyfriend.”

Oliver closes his eyes for a second, letting her anger and hurt wash over him and internalizing it, absorbing it. What is there to say? What words are there to make up for what he did to her? To her sister? Her family?

“We buried an empty coffin, because her body was on the bottom of the ocean. Where you left her,” Laurel tells him.

A part of Oliver want to tell her how he nearly dove back in to go look for her, how he screamed himself hoarse to find her. How he did everything to bring her back home safely. But that would be for him and not Laurel or Sara. He doesn’t want to be that selfish anymore.

Then Laurel hits him with: “It should have been you.”

And Oliver agrees. He would have done a lot to trade places with Sara. Not because his life these past few years has been great or because he wishes she would lose the pieces of her soul like he has, but because she should have never been on that boat to begin with and if she were in his shoes, she would be alive. She would be home.

Sara deserves to be here a lot more than him. But she isn’t here and he can’t change it and he can’t make it better. All he can do, is say: “I know it’s too late to say this, but I’m sorry.”

Laurel gives him a hard look, then says: “I know the speculations that have been going on about what happened to you on that second ship and what we know of the first one is horrible enough. But I can’t help but be sorry too. I’d hoped you’d rot in hell a whole lot longer than three years.”

With that, she turns on her heel and walks away towards another court room, probably to make her case. Guess she truly did become a lawyer.

Diggle slides up behind him once she is gone and asks: “Old friend?���

“It’s complicated,” Oliver sighs.

“What does that mean?” Akio asks, his childhood innocence showing.

“Means we were friends, good friends even, but then I did something stupid and now we’re not friends anymore, but we never talked about, because I died,” Oliver tells him, trying to explain without having to get into it. He’s not entirely successful.

Akio’s faces scrunches up. “That doesn’t sound very complicated. When you do something stupid you say sorry and make up for it and then you both agree to forget about it.”

Oliver smiles at that, ruffling his hair. “Maybe. But it was a very big something stupid. I don’t know if I can make up for it.”

“Well you can always try,” Akio says, letting Oliver lead him outside.

The second they step out of the courthouse, they’re swarmed by the press and paps. Most heed Oliver’s threat about legal actions and don’t ask anything to Akio directly, but he’s definitely being filmed and photographed and a few do risk it. Oliver makes a mental note to look up the latter category and do something about it later.

Diggle is godsend, helping in sandwiching Akio between them and pushing everyone away so they can get to the car.

All sorts of questions get thrown his way, like what happened on that ship, if he has adopted Akio, if he is doing anything to help the investigation into the people that captured him, if has any words about his father, who has just been confirmed as dead.

Oliver ignores all of it, letting Diggle threaten the reporters into backing off so he can get Akio inside, quickly following. He wants to order the driver to drive off, the ambush having kick started an adrenaline rush as his fight or flight instinct acts up. However, he waits until Diggle has also wormed his way inside, before actually giving the order.

He makes the driver just drive aimlessly around town for a bit, while he breathes through the tension. Akio looks at him worriedly, but Diggle seems to understand and distracts him, until Oliver is ready to tell the driver to drive them downtown.

Usually they’d go to Big Belly Burger, but today hasn’t been easy on Akio either, so he directs the driver to a Chinese hole in the wall. Not truly home for Akio, but closer than a burger. He is pretty sure the place is a Triad front, but the food is good and he’s too tired to care, beyond making sure he doesn’t see any faces he recognizes. The chance is lower since he’s on a different continent, but you never know. China White has a passport.

As they eat their food, he mulls over the day. His brain gets especially stuck on Akio’s words, how simple it is for him. To just make up for what you did and then forget about it.

Obviously, such a thing won’t work with Laurel. What he has done to her and her family is too much to just forget about. That relationship might only mend if he’ll find a miraculous way to return her sister from the dead. However, it might work with the others.

Oliver knows that he has done a lot of stupid shit, but that technically dying on everyone isn’t one of them. At least, not that he is directly responsible for.

However, in a way, him dying is the stupid thing he has to make up for.

When he was in Starling with A.R.G.U.S., he saw the ways his death broke those that loved him. It was the whole reason he didn’t want to complete his mission in the first place, wanting to defect and stay there, instead of help them stop the Triad. Only his father’s words that reminded him of the selfishness he wanted to leave behind kept him dead for a few more moths.

This whole time, he has been so wrapped up in himself and how he feels about being home and how he can help Akio and complete the mission, that he has completely forgot about the ways his loved ones might be hurting.

He sometimes plays Ollie again, but now that he thinks about it, he’s pretty sure those around them are playing at how things used to be too.

If he ever wants to come back home wholly, he is going to have to start taking steps to rebuild the bridges he’s been burning by running away. He’s not going to apologize for dying on everyone, like he did with Laurel, but he can reach out, try to say sorry for not being present with them so that they can make up and agree to forget about it.

~~

A/N:

Tbh I disagree with Oliver and he doesn’t have to make up for jack shit and everyone can be a little more considerate of him, but it is Oliver’s POV and sadly he’s a little stupid </3

[eternalwritess]

Hiii <3

Could I get a matchup for JJK?

Pronouns: She/her Sexuality: Bisexual Zodiac/MBTI: Sagittarius, INTJ Appearance: Short curly dark brown hair. Dark skin, freckles on cheeks. I'm 1.65m tall, slim body, small bust and butt and wide waist. Brown eyes, slightly round nose, thin eyebrows and medium-sized lips.

Personality: Introverted, occasionally moody, but when I get confident I'm playful/a bit childish. Short-lived social battery, I prefer to do things on my own rather than ask for help (I only ask for help if I see that I can't solve a problem). I am impulsive when I get stressed. Some people think I'm usually angry, when in reality I'm just serious and I don't like pretending that I find their jokes funny.

Likes and dislikes: I like desserts; watching movies, mainly horror/thriller/romantic comedy; I enjoy interactive stories and otomes; I like watching videos of people putting on/taking off makeup, trying on clothes and giving reviews, about hair and skin care products… Oh, I also like braiding. I like true crime shows

I don't like insects; noisy places; disloyal people, liars, and people who don't value their friends; alcoholic drinks and similar substances; I don't like spicy food.

Hobbies: Listening to music, watching anime, playing cell phone games, lately I'm learning crochet, so I think I'd add that as a hobby too.

Extra information: I am agnostic; I'm not a big fan of physical contact, in any case, I prefer to be the one who initiates the contact and that it doesn't last so long; I think head caresses are very cute (my mom said I looked like a dog LOL); I like to give gifts to my loved ones; I'm somewhat disorganized for some things and organized for others, I think it depends on my mood and motivation how organized I can be; if someone yells at me I get angry easily; I sometimes lose interest in things quickly if they don't seem stimulating enough; I'm used to being alone, so I sometimes get bored of interacting with people; I don't know if it affects the answer in any way, but I'm from Latin America, although I don't fit the stereotype at all, I'll just say that there is no worse dancer than me LOL. I get tired very quickly, I don't like carrying heavy objects.

Thank you very much in advance, kisses and hugs.

i match you with... 𝓜𝓪𝓴𝓲 𝓩𝓮𝓷'𝓲𝓷 ██ 20% _ ████ 60% _ █████ 80% _ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

♛ You'd meet her at Jujutsu Tech, you're most likely a second year like her and the first time that you met she didn't think that much of you at first, she had a long ways to go at the time and still does to actually achieving her goal. The head of the Zen'in clan but she was the first person Gojo introduced you to. Why? Because you're both girls probably

♛ Before you could even train with your technique Maki demanded to fight you first, wanted to see where you and she stood on when it came to physical combat and it was safe to say that she was better than you. Panda cheered you up though the moment he saw it all go down and told Maki that she should've went easier on you

♛ In response she just said that she would teach you how to fight better next time... yeah you still got your ass kicked, but this time she actually helped you out through it entirely

♛ Soon enough as the two of you began to hang out more she realized just how hard she had fallen for you and soon enough wanted to ask you out. Problem was that she didn't know how and didn't know if you even liked her like that. Not to mention that she was worried that a relationship would affect her training in a negative way

♛ Soon after a long conversation with Panda and Inumaki, which went no where she confronted Yuta who said that she should just go for it, and she did. She asked you out one day when the two of you were in your room watching some sort of movie

♛ When you agreed she thought she had heard wrong

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

♛ You bring out a more chill side of her, constantly getting you to relax and not overexert herself on something when it's clear that she's not going to get it for a while and just needs to take a break

♛ Movie nights in your room are a common occurrence and that's just a fact, you guys get all the junk food you can find and then turn on a long movie and then another and another. She likes enjoying your quiet company. She doesn't even really care if the movie itself is bad. She just loves you

♛ Your more 'girly' side definitely balances out her more masculine one. She loves watching you try new outfits and try on new makeup, she finds it entertaining and always wants to see what you come up with next

♛ When she first saw you confident and more childish and playful she got excited, immediately indulging in it and messing around with you. She loves seeing you excited and happy, she thinks its really cute

♛ You try to get her to crochet with you every now and then but it doesn't always work sadly but she does hang out with you while you do it, probably trying to train or something like that

[mickey-vaughan]

@calliopepietersz

It was clear to Jesse that he was getting more and more desperate. There was nothing else it could be, if he was willing to wander into a place called 'Glimpses into the Future'. The male wasn't sure if he really believed in any of this stuff as it were. Palm reading... tarot cards... magic? Sure, he'd been personally witness to plenty of things by this point that he couldn't explain- not that he had tried, or wanted to. It was much easier to just kind of look the other way and pretend all of this stuff was more like some bad dream than his reality. Ignoring what he didn't understand, what could scare him even, was far easier than trying to confront it.

And yet... It was all tied into the disappearance of his sister and, as much as he loathed to assume, likely the only way to find her, too. If she could be found.

"Smells weird in here," Jesse muttered under his breath as he looked around the strange metaphysical shop. Probably some kind of incense or something. The human felt out of place and uncomfortable the further in he went, seeing all sorts of stuff like crystals and herbs and candles... All things he would have no idea what the purpose of them would be for but deep down, he felt they couldn't be for anything good. Right? "Oh-" Jesse stopped as he came upon a woman, one he did recognize from around town, though the two had never really had a real one-on-one before. "Uh- hey." His tongue ran along the inside of his cheek as he considered her for a quiet moment. "You do uh, fortune telling and stuff, yeah?" Though it was hard to hide the doubtful tinge to these words. It was all so... fantastical.

[alyjojo]

February 🐉 2023 Monthly - Pisces

Whole of your energy: Knight of Wands

You seem to be spontaneously taking action in confronting someone that’s hurt you, but you’ve held back from. Probably in order to keep the peace and maintain a good relationship. You’re not about drama, but things do need to be discussed and you seem to be the one initiating a conversation.

What’s going on in February:

7 Cups:

You could’ve stopped talking to this person because you didn’t have any other choice, they were angry or being drama in some way, and you just kinda stepped aside, stayed quiet and supported them from the sidelines. This is probably a friend, as 3 Cups would indicate. You’ve waited for whatever the problem was to blow over, so you could speak your mind…in a more peaceful way, or to a more receptive audience anyway.

6 Swords:

Moving away from the drama, The Moon shows you may be very unclear as to what fully happened in the first place, you saw drama and bowed out altogether. Or someone else did. I don’t see a fight between you, maybe between a group you’re involved in or two friends of yours at odds with each other. This is an “in the middle” vibe.

The Sun:

You want to bring light to this issue and maybe heal some connections between family or friends, whoever had the drama. Queen of Wands could be a fire sign, or it can be you showing initiative and taking the lead in these matters. There’s a justified apology that sets things right again, whether to or from you.

4 Swords rev:

You and this person/people will be healing a situation that’s been weighing heavily on you, or at least you’re in the beginning stages of it. So the act of whatever this is, it’s impulsively decided, but it’s working out for the best.

8 Wands:

These are the messages the two/more of you are sending back to each other, just laying it all out there. What caused sadness, what makes you feel defensive, what hurt you, and them too. You could be defending your decision to leave them behind for awhile if they were being combative or drama in your life, you had to do what you had to do. Or they did. Either way there’s progress in a stale situation or relationship, and that’s a positive thing.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Leo, Sagittarius, Cancer, Libra & Scorpio

Oracles: ✨

42 Joy 🎉

We are created in joy. The balance of energy and higher vibrations brings us closer to divine love - pure joy. Joy can be a destination, but it can also be the vehicle that you use to get to that destination. Faith, grace, gratitude, and love all merge together, at different times and in different amounts, to create joy. There is love, growth, tears, change, and self-realization in this card. This card portends a happy and joyous time.

We enter into February as:

Canary Yellow 🐤

“If you talk and do not do, you are like the Canary in his cage; beautiful but useless.”

It is suggested that you move beyond what you believe to be right and accept what is. You may not be doing your true calling. Are you living in a fantasy that you would rather pretend with? This is your opportunity to do it, or let it go. Others will soon see what you are either hiding or denying. Time to wake up or you may find yourself quite embarrassed when your true motive is revealed. Like Canary - he would rather impress than do! Be careful of working too much and neglecting the reality of your life. Do not be the person who feels that he or she will never receive what they are entitled to, and it is easier to pretend that everything is fine. Canary indicates that things are in place for miracles to happen, but they may not if you dissipate your energy. Things are built up in our minds and we are imprisoned by the story we tell about what we are doing. Do not take yourself or the project you speak of so seriously any longer. Stop and consider if you intend on doing what you say, or if you are only talking.

This is a card of realizing we own nothing. We are given inspiration from above, if we dissipate our gifts than we are not fulfilling our promise to Spirit. If you resist your voice, why have one? What in your heart do you know you could do “if you wanted to”?

What is to be learned in February:

Grass 🌱:

“Your message to others is best expressed by being uniquely you.”

The time is right for you to move on from anything holding you back from full self-expression. You are being told to break away. Be different. Be unique. It is time to grow! It could be time to plan a change of scenery. Take a tour, go to a spa, get into shape, visit a foreign place, learn a new skill, depart from the mundane. Take the chance you’ve always wanted to. Most importantly, grow. This is an indication you also need to become more in touch with your spiritual side. You’ve strayed from your inner voice, Spirit invites you back. It is time for your personal growth.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[talenlee]

Fundie Divorce and Other Dramas

What god has put together let no man put asunder, goes the line. And since judges are men, and laws are written by men that means that divorce, if you’re a Biblical literalist, seems? Bad? I mean a Biblical literalist might look at all the times that people in the Bible married multiple women and also had concubines as well, and there were laws about doing a divorce but Jesus said it was only because of sin and then Paul said it’d be better if you never got married in the first place but this is only useful for spherical christians in a vacuum.

How do you think fundamentalist churches handle divorces? Setting aside the way that, as human beings in a social setting may actually handle something like this sensible, the fundie environment is one with a lot of its own special traditions and rules. Rules like how to absolutely mishandle a complex topic like a divorce.

And just to be clear on this one by the way, I am 100% pro-divorce. I think divorces are good. They suck to experience, I don’t think anyone goes into a divorce going ‘eff yeah, time to be divorced!’ but I think if a relationship is collapsing or failing nobody should be trying to stick around and force it into working when it doesn’t. Which is why an environment that makes this hard decision worse uh, sucks. And it sucks because of techniques liiike…

Judeeing

First of all there’s the option that works within a fundamentalist church’s greatest and most well-used tool, which is endless denial of reality. Judeeing is when you continue to associate with the divorced people, continue to talk to them and just pointedly never bring any of it up. This can create a really weird alienated feeling where you watch two people having a completely normal conversation where you’ll watch voids form. You know, like person A, the divorced one, says hi, how are you, how’s your partner? and the other will say oh, he’s fine, dead pause where a response question would be.

The important thing for this isn’t to do anything that acknowledges the experience of the person undergoing the divorce. Sometimes you’ll have someone gracious who is willing to shift topics and make things a little gracious, but vitally, you never ever ever offer support or help based on what they’re going through. You don’t do anything that implies their free time has changed or their financial situation is difficult.

This technique is really interesting because it’s clearly really difficult to do. It’s actively hard, you have to maintain a conversation that’s entirely emotionally brittle but also never do anything that might direct attention to the most important thing happening right now. In this regard it underscores the way that we WASPs will expend enormous effort in doing something for someone else as long as it’s not the much easier, much more sensible and emotionally honest option. Accepting imperfection or failure in people is hard and it’s emotionally challenging and so, uh, just… just don’t? Don’t do that. Don’t need to.

Fundies will literally construct an entire alternate reality rather than recognise that some people need therapy. Probably starting with themselves.

Unpersoning

Hey, that sounds like a lot of work though. What if instead you could just pretend that one of the people involved wasn’t a thing? What if, when presented with two people who gave you a difficult kind of experience to reconcile with, within your faith, and you don’t have the skills to confront anyone about that or recognise that sometimes people are bad for one another, what if instead, like, just…

One of them wasn’t there?

This is really specific, really direct kind of complete freezeout. The church collectively picks one of the people in the former couple and just ignores the other. Wholesale. I’ve seen this happen a few times but every time it’s been the unpersoning of the woman in the couple, which, you know, maybe that’s because in every example the church collectively agreed that the woman did the bad thing or maybe it’s just that we were pre-built and prepared to hate women a lot? Maybe.

The thing is this Unpersoning is an example of treating the experience as something that you need to punish, but not something that you have the emotional

Anyway, Unpersoning is easy but it runs into risks if say, the Unperson is the one with the kids and the other kids play with those kids. It can be harder to isolate the kids and you know, the parents and adults don’t want to tell the kids ‘don’t talk to them, they did a divorce,’ so instead it’s just social pressure, a sort of low-key pushing away from shared events with that kid or those kids. This is obviously, a tough one. The good news is that kids just have enough suffering and struggles to go through because it’s not like they’re people with agency and emotional needs.

Heck, just tell the kids that one of the parents died, and call the parent that’s still around a widow and let the kids think that. Even if the other parent is in the church and the kid just doesn’t recognise them! What’s wrong with a bit of gaslighting? They’re kids, they won’t remember and be messed up by this!

The Whole Church Divorces

Then there’s another option which is… weird to see in action but I’ve absolutely seen it. In the case of a Church Divorce, basically, everyone in the church picks one side of the conversation, and then only interact with that side of it. I’ve noticed this only happened in the churches which were small enough that only one couple could have a divorce at a time – larger churches, this strategy tends to create weird shattering spaces where people have to organise a kind of chart to work out whether or not the person they were talking to could recognise the existence of another person or not.

This technique is pretty solid in those smaller groups though. Because suddenly you’re not feeling like you did something bad or excluded a person, you’re not Abandoning Fellowship, or Punishing a Person. It’s actually much more like half the church gets social anxiety, and it can be as simple as ‘hey, did I talk to that person more recently than the other? well, I don’t want to talk about the d word, so… soo I guess I’ll just never talk to that other person, ever again!’

Remember, one of the things that God gives you is strength and courage, which you should never use to do anything modestly socially uncomfortable.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[animalluver8153]

You know what I’m not done with Jason’s many trials in HFW:

Jason is coming to the soul crushing realization that it actually kinda sucks to be the protagonist in a period drama.

He knows that he’s a genuine snack but dating back home had mainly involved keeping tabs on a few dating apps.

HE WAS NOT PREPARED.

The first time a girl approaches him he was actually relieved. He took it as a sign as the locals being comfortable enough to talk to them on a base level compared to suspicious awe.

It was easy to gently let the girl down, and the one who approached him the next day, and the two on the next.

By the second week he had developed a six sense of an approaching maiden and planned various excuses to quickly leave the area.

That’s when the girls started coming from a different angle.

Suddenly all the merchants and city officials were “teaching their daughters the family business” and just happen to be there whenever Jason came by to negotiate contracts or quotas.

Worst of all we’re the grannies and honest-to-god matchmakers offering their help in finding a nice girl.

Tim emerged from his workshop to find Jason crying over papers detailing contingency plans, muttering on how he had turned into Bruce. Tim patted his shoulder and wandered off to find food.

Danny floated in to the same scene and offered a plan.

The City Warden was an alright guy who was willing to work with a band of weirdos for the sake of a mostly peaceful and not dragon-ravaged town. So he knew of their “cast from their true home by magic” story.

When Jason next sat down for a Business Tea (TM), he confessed that he missed his lady-love back home. His description just happened to match that of Jazz because it was easier to choose a real person with real interests and history than making one from scratch.

Mr. Warden was sympathetic and Jason pointedly did not pay attention the the maid that exited with a little too much excitement.

Fortunately, the number of propositions went way down after that.

Unfortunately, the propositions that did happen were MUCH more uncomfortable.

Jason will never see period dramas the same and it’s all Danny’s fault.

What I’m building up to is the rom com potential of Jazz being the one to get a portal home open and Jason being confronted with his pretend girlfriend who just blasted a hole through reality and kick a monster’s ass with an electric whip. Hot Damn now that’s a meet cute.

Danny, Jason, Tim and Damian get Isakaid into a high fantasy world.

Jason is enjoying himself due to his love of period dramas and Damian has somehow managed to gain the class of Beast Tamer. Do not ask how many animals he has the answer is too many.

Tim at first was suffering immensely thanks to the lack of tech and many of the things he loved from the modern world being missing (thankfully this world does have indoor plumbing) until he realizes he can just make some of the stuff himself as an inventor.

Danny tries to flee, seeing as the reason they're in this mess to begin with is all Dannys fault (authors choice as to how) but kept getting recaptured until he stopped. Now he helps the others with whatever they need in-between trying to find a way home and stargazing.

Unfortunately for the isakai world the bats are scary no matter where they are. They become a party in a guild and-alongside Danny-basically stomp everything flat.

[surewellstairs]

Being thrown into a new place and for so long being supportive and trying to keep everyone propped up

Now when I need it everyone decides they need a mental health break for months or even years

I know people have called me strong. But why is it whenever I need someone to offer to hang out or maybe make a suggestion on what to do for the evening, I get nothing?

Why do I always have to be the one proactively chasing? I've met tons of people and the only thing I've learned is that folks just take. Theyre selfish.

Self care gets twisted into some excuse as to not be a good friend or to shirk off obligations... why is that ok for people to do but not me? Why am I selfish for wanting some attention when I'm feeling rotten?

I agree, you can't help someone when you're underwater. But you should at least try to help someone who's helped you, not because they were looking for something out of it but because theyre supposed to be your friend.

I guess its just easier to ignore everyone else though.

I feel like an idiot. I feel like I'm wasting my life and my time, and for what? I don't know anymore. I think people just expect me to be a certain way because it'a normal, thinking they don't have to contribute at all. Because they never had to before.

Am I making myself miserable by slowly feeling bitter about this day by day? Absolutely.

But you all know. It's easier to say all the right things than to do the things you need to to help yourself.

Ive been living in a delusional fantasy world most of my life and now that everyone's gone off someplace cuz they're tired of playing pretend, I'm forced to confront this reality alone. I think I always knew this day would come. But I didn't know how I'd go about it.

This July will be about a year of perpetually feeling this way. I don't know what to do. I'm sad and angry. It's not fair. Life isn't fair.

Wish I knew how to make new friends but the same thing will just happen again and again won't it? It always does. I know it's not always the case, but I sure feel the fool for believing things could be any better.

Fuck dude.

A lot of my thoughts have so many conflicting feelings right now it would sound hypocritical to put them all together.

I wish I could get away with being the brat who always has someone offering to make it better. Constantly. Day by day. I wish I had someone I guess who played the role I played in in so many other people's lives.

Wouldn't it be nice. Or maybe I would just be annoyed. I don't know.

Ugh.

[splinteredhq]

CHARACTER INFORMATION: 

CHARACTER NAME: regulus arcturus black

CHARACTER FACECLAIM: timothee chalamet

CHARACTER AGE/DOB: 19, turning 20 this year // june 3rd 2003

CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC: he/they, eh, who knows, demisexual

OC OR CANON: canon

CHARACTER PROFESSION IF RELEVANT: imagine working for money

SCHOOL ATTENDED & HOUSE IF RELEVANT: hogwarts, slytherin

ALIGNMENT (the order/death eaters/etc) + GENERAL OPINIONS ON THE WAR/THEIR SIDE: oh boy. obviously, he was a death eater up until very recently (so far, only sebastian o'shannon is aware of him having betrayed them), but it’s very important to emphasize that regulus didn’t join them because he shared any of their views on blood purity. he felt betrayed by sirius leaving, had this whole new weight of expectations being the only son and not just the brilliant younger son, and was studying in slytherin, which might as well have been death eater breeding grounds (good job not doing anything about that dumbledore!). combine that with being extremely talented and smart but not very wise, starving for praise and social status, and you get a young man who has convinced himself that he is doing this because it’s the right thing for him and his family.

now confront that young man with realities of people being killed, tortured, manipulated and hurt in various other ways, and sooner or later he snaps.

regulus just so happened be smart and fortunate enough to snap at the exact place and time to also find out about the horcruxes and try to do something about it.

right now he’s a bit of a mess, but once things settle enough he’d be more than willing to side with the order (maybe then sirius won’t leave him again)

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY: you know it. younger black child, regulus grew up looking up to sirius, but where his brother turned their mother’s hateful rhetoric into resentment, regulus internalized those things as something he had to at least pretend to follow, to meet those expectations, to get that approval even if it came from his abuser. and oh, he was actually quite good at it. especially playing the double game while they were still young, being the good son and the fun brother.then came hogwarts, the year after sirius had been sorted into gryffindor, and as much as he loved his brother, regulus begged the hat to be put in slytherin. it worked. or maybe he was just well fit for slytherin in general. perhaps it was the latter one, because for the next seven years regulus obsessively followed anything that gave him more admiration and social status within the house. being a prefect, the seeker for slytherin team despite him not even liking quidditch all that much, and involving himself in the inner workings of the house.

he did try to stay close to sirius, some part of him had even thought that it would be easier in hogwarts, but there was too great of a divide between their houses, his brother’s new friends didn’t like him and he resented them, and the split between them gradually widened.

then sirius left. and it hurt. it hurt so much, because despite all their arguments and yelled insults, regulus still loved his brother.

but, well, sirius had picked his side and regulus got ushered into his own, and there was simply no going back from it.

even when regulus saw the full truth of what death eaters were and understood that he had to get out, even when he found out about the horcruxes, even when he went to the lake and only told sebastian to have someone else continue his work, he didn’t believe that there was a way back, because he simply didn’t believe that there was a way for him to survive.

of course, sebastian then simply had to rush in at the last second, pull him out from the grasp of inferi while already unconscious and underwater and get out. of course. truth be told, regulus doesn’t know how to deal with it, he was supposed to die. instead, he is alive and very much fucked up after the experience in more ways than one, and he can’t even openly march into order partially because marching anywhere is a challenge right now, and partially because the last couple of days before the lake have become fuzzy in his mind and he knows that there’s more information he had, but he can’t remember any of it and he is convinced that the order will kill him on sight (sebastian doesn’t count, he’s sebastian).

OOC INFORMATION: 

NAME/ALIAS: t

AGE: 22

PRONOUNS: they/them

[kurosukii]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞

pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

summary: there’s no one you hate more on this earth than your school’s cocky volleyball captain, and being paired with him for a class project just honestly takes the cake. 

genre: college au, enemies to enemies fucking au.

warnings: 18+. hate sex (oiks is a meanie here but so are you, kinda), slight size kink, against the wall sex, facetiming (noncon to dubcon), exhibitionism (noncon to dubcon), voyeurism (noncon to dubcon), dacryphilia, ass play, multiple orgasms (oiks has mad stamina), degradation, slight praise, face-fucking, oral (m receiving), tit-fucking, unprotected sex, overstimulation, squirting, spanking, dirty talk, humiliation, dumbification, spitting, cumplay, creampie, hair pulling, pet names (bunny), implied seijoh four x reader

word count: 6.9k

author’s note: not much to say about this other than i’m a SEIJOH FOUR WHORE!!!! (let me know if i missed any warnings) (MINORS DNI)

[2:11 PM]

you honestly think the world hates you.

you tried your hardest to stifle your groan and not slam your head on the desk when the professor called out your name with your self-proclaimed “enemy”, oikawa tooru, for the project that was worth forty percent of your grade this semester.

when class ended, you marched ‘respectfully’ to your professor to negotiate if you can work on this project alone, but even before a word even slipped out of your mouth, your professor raised their eyebrow at you, sensing what you were going to say and just said “just deal with it” and “stop acting like a high school student”.

well, that was an ice cold bucket of reality that was just poured on you.

you were definitely acting like a high school student, and the cause of your behavior was none other than one of your school’s most obnoxious athletes, oikawa tooru.

seriously, there was just something about him that irked you so much. maybe it’s an accumulation of all his actions, his smugness, and the way he turns his nose on everyone, but all the girls and guys seemed to keep running back to him. everyone saw him as the ‘perfect king’, but you knew better. at least, you seemed to think so.

sometimes, you’d feel embarrassed at the way you were feeling and acting. you were raised to be a respectful person with good manners and conduct, so every time you get the pep talk from the imaginary angel on your shoulder, you’d try your best to be amicable with oikawa for every interaction since you shared multiple classes with him. but every time you did so, oikawa would end up doing something that broke your resolve and you were back to square one again. it seemed like the guy got off to annoying the shit out of you and making your day terrible.

with the professor long gone from the lecture room, you were left alone with your thoughts, up until you heard someone click their tongue. you shook your head as you turned to the source of the sound.

“aw, do you not want to be paired with me that badly? i’m not that bad! i’m going to help you do the work if that’s what you’re so worried about, sweetheart,” oikawa taunted in that lilting voice of his, with brown eyes glinting in mischief as he tossed his hair back.

“fuck off, tooru. just don’t slack off on this project or i’ll kick your ass,” you threatened him, anger slowly rising. he laughed at you, mirth making his eyes disappear. your lips thinned to a line as your anger increased.

you called him by his first name, not bothering with the respect (if he even deserved that) that came with addressing someone with their family name since you ‘hated’ his guts anyway, but somewhere deep down, you called him tooru because you like the way it sounded.

you liked the way it fell from your lips with a sigh whenever you touched yourself in the privacy of your room. the post nut clarity always hits you hard after orgasming with his face in your mind. maybe that’s why you pretended to hate him so much, because you were really just like the other girls. you were just as enamored by him as the other fangirls were, only they embraced it while you still denied it. nevertheless, the hornier you felt for him, the easier it was to channel that into anger and exasperation against him.

meanwhile, you didn’t notice it, as you were too busy in your own bubble, but his eyes darkened when he heard his given name slip from your lips. he’s more accepting of his desire for you, fucking his fist nearly every night with the thought of you underneath him, begging him to fuck that naughty pussy of yours to oblivion.

oh he knew that you were just putting up a front, and he let you. he knew it in the way your stares would linger and change into something deeper—more carnal. you thought he wouldn’t notice.

but he did.

he notices everything about you just like how he notices every play on the court. he relishes in it, practically keeping a tally in his head, so when he finally gets to pound your cunt, he’d confront you about it, and there’s nothing you can do about but accept his cock and his words.

he shook his head from his dark, carnal thoughts and slowly walked towards you, shoulders tightening as he fought the urge to slam you down on the table and fuck your cunt and make you scream so loud that people will come running.

you stood your ground as you looked up at him, which is a feat because you were damn near shaking and the tightening coil in your lower stomach was not helping either.

damn you oikawa tooru, you growled in your head.

he leaned down towards you until your noses were almost touching, with his bubblegum breath fanning your face and chocolate eyes boring into your own. “don’t worry sweetheart, i’m not going to let you do this on your own. what kind of guy would i be if i let you slave over this without my help? tsk, that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me, now would it?” he says as he straightened his body, with attitude and face going back to his usual demeanor, different from the one before.

you sucked in a breath as he pulled away and he smirked at you. “see you later at 7pm, sweetheart. you know where my place is, don’t you?” he asked you absentmindedly, making your blood boil at the audacity of him expecting you knew where he lived, and you did, but that’s besides the point. he was just so fucking obnoxious.

you scoffed an affirmative at him which made his smirk grow wider. “count the hours until you get to see me again, darling. i know i will,” he winked salaciously as he turned his back on you, wiggling his fingers as a sign of goodbye. you didn’t bother to grace him with a respectful farewell. instead, you raised your middle finger at him that was accompanied by a glare.

he just laughed at you, “always so mad at me, sweetheart. maybe you need to remove some of that tension,” his gaze smoldered, eyes turning into molten brown.

you involuntarily gulped as he slowly looked you up and down. he made eye contact with you, eyes still dark, as he licked his lips. he looked like he was about to pounce on you and devour you. It took him every ounce of his focus and self-control before his lips curved into his i’m so perfect and you’re not smile and blew you a kiss as he finally walked off to his next class.

you bit your tongue to prevent yourself from screaming as you cursed oikawa in your head to hell and back. the nerve of this dickhead, you thought to yourself. you grumbled more to yourself as you hiked your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the lecture room. you were done for the day and despite what oikawa thinks, you weren’t going to count the hours until you get to be in his apartment with him. alone.

but then again, all you did was lie to yourself wherever he was concerned, because you definitely didn’t twiddle your thumbs for five hours, took a shower and shaved, basically pampered yourself to look good and decent for him. no, you definitely didn’t do any of that for him.

if you were paired with another person, you would have definitely arrived ten minutes before the set time, but because it was oikawa, you took your sweet time going to his apartment, annoyance brewing. what was so wrong with living on campus? you asked yourself along the way, which made you even more annoyed because he didn’t even offer to pick you up at the train station. not that he needed to, but the courtesy would’ve been nice and it would’ve made you see him differently, but he didn’t do any of that so you’re stuck stomping your way to his apartment building.

“are you sure about this, oikawa? makki and i don’t mind having front row seats to this shit,” mattsun smirked, arms resting on the back of the couch in the spacious apartment. oikawa invited them to hang out after practice because he said he had a “surprise” for them.

“don’t know about the other one there, though,” mattsun nodded to iwaizumi who was brooding by the floor to ceiling window, arms crossed as he raised his eyebrow at mattsun. “maybe he wants in on it,” makki piped which made all three of them laugh at iwaizumi while he just told all of them to fuck off. he didn’t want to admit it, but he wanted to see you put in your place as well.

he wouldn’t have given a fuck about your petty and sexual tension-filled issues with his captain, but you also gave him grief whenever he was with oikawa and what better way than to witness, and probably have a hand in, seeing you begging and whining for your cunt to be filled with cum?  

“don’t worry guys, you’ll definitely have your turns,” oikawa’s eyes glinted as he smirked at his friends. “looks like little bunny is running late,” he checked his wall clock and tutted to himself.

sheesh, guess the king really does live lavishly, you grumbled to yourself as you stared at the intimidating complex. most college students are broke, live in school sponsored dormitories, and survive on store bought ramen, but oikawa obviously isn’t like most college students. you shook your head at the clear social divide and pushed through the spinning doors, the cool air of the lobby blowing into your face as you shivered from the temperature.

you walked up to the receptionist’s desk–of course there’s a receptionist–and you asked her what floor and room number oikawa’s apartment was. you just about thanked her when your phone pinged so you took it out and checked the message.

“you’re running late, little bunny. might have to punish you for this.”

your legs squirmed as you felt your panties dampen at oikawa’s text. your clothes seemed hotter now and you pulled at your collar. you cleared your throat and nodded to the receptionist as you walked to the elevator.

before you knew it, you found yourself before oikawa’s door. you were about to knock but it opened, revealing his shirtless form. you gulped and couldn’t help but stare at his lithe body, with droplets of water slowly trickling down his abdomen and disappearing through the waistband of his sweatpants. you raised your eyes to meet his. he was smirking at you, his smug face satisfied with your perusal of him. he was drying his damp hair with a towel, and it made his biceps ripple. why does he have to be so goddamn obnoxious and hot.

“are you done staring at me bunny? as much as i love your gaze on my body, that’s not what you’re here for, unless…?” he taunted you, his body lazily leaning against the doorframe as his tongue slowly licked the bottom of his lip as he stared at you this time. you scoffed at him, and didn’t bother to wait for his invitation inside his apartment.

you lightly shoved him, careful not to make most of your skin touch, which was a feat since he was naked from the waist up. “you wish, tooru. stop being stupid and let’s get this done and over with,” you muttered in annoyance, standing in the middle of his living room with your arms crossed and quietly observing your surroundings. “and don’t call me bunny!” you snarled at him, eyes meeting his glowing brown ones.

“i’ll call you anything i want to, bunny, and seeing that you’re in my home, you don’t get to have the privilege to order me around here, understand?” he warned you, voice lowering by a few octaves. if you had a tail, it would’ve been tucked between your legs by now. you bit your tongue and nodded at him with your eyes lowered. he smiled devilishly at you and turned his still shirtless body in the direction of what you presumed to be his room.

“let’s do this in my room, bunny. i have everything we need there,” you followed him without a word, realising that you were indeed powerless here. you didn’t notice the smug smile he was sporting, however, because his muscular back was turned to you. each step to his bedroom was a step closer to what he and by extension, his friends, had in store for you.

you entered his room and you marveled at his king size bed that was covered in navy blue sheets. there was a tall shelf against the off white walls that was filled with a few alien and ufo figurines, trophies, and framed pictures of him and his team.

you turned to him to ask about what he wanted to do until you felt him loom over you. he looked at you like you were his prey and he was the predator, which was not a far cry because you really did feel like a bunny and he was the big bad wolf. his dark eyes seared into your body as you felt your heartbeat quicken.

in one blink, he had you on your back on the soft bed with your wrists pinned together with one big hand as he nuzzled his nose on your neck and inhaled. “you smell so good, bunny. did you clean yourself up for me?” he hummed and shamelessly snaked out his tongue to lick a stripe on your neck which made you squeal at the hot and wet muscle against your skin. “taste good too,” he chuckled, the vibrations and heat of his breath making your spine tingle and arousal grow.

his timing was impeccable, he pinned you down before you even had the chance to notice the phone propped on the table beside his bed, with a fancy desktop where a few books laid askew, and his friends staring intently from the small screen. mattsun opened his mouth and before he could break the tension, makki slapped his hand over it and quietly shushed him. iwaizumi was too transfixed at the situation before him to reprimand mattsun for almost interrupting.

“t-tooru! get off—” you weren’t able to finish your sentence before oikawa bit the skin of your neck to quiet you down. “you should be honest with yourself, you know? i know how you look at me,” he teased you, slowly kissing down your body through your shirt. 

“not so feisty now, hm? you’re so putty in my hands,” he rose to his knees on the bed and let go of your wrists. you raised your arm to slap him on the face but he caught it, he also grabbed your other arm and slightly squeezed them as a sign of warning. “there she is, my feisty little girl,” he smirked down at you. his brown hair glistening in the low light of his bedroom as his dark eyes glinted at you.

he transferred your other wrist to his one hand as he slowly untied the strings on his sweatpants. you didn’t miss the growing bulge in pants, cock hardening at what was about to happen. you swallowed the lump in your throat because after so many nights of fantasizing and imagining, you’re going to finally see what he would look like under all those clothes.

“you want my cock? of course you do, your eyes are practically dripping with greed,” he mocked you, his hand slowly lowering his pants until his naked cock sprang free and bounced on his abdomen. fuck, he wasn’t wearing any underwear. your pussy gushed at the thought of him lounging around his apartment with only a thin fabric separating his cock from exposure.

“got nothing to say, hm? i was hoping you’d run your mouth just so i could have the excuse of shutting you up with my cock,” he taunted, eyes studying your face as a smirk stretched his lips. “did seeing my cock shut you up? i do have a pretty cock, don’t i?” he questioned you rhetorically.

you hated it because he was right. his cock was as pretty as him and it was enough to swallow on the words rising from your throat. it wasn’t overly girthy but you knew that it would still cause damage just by watching it pulse and throb, with pre-cum leaking from its tip.

“i’m going to let go of your hands now, slutty bunny, and you’re going to suck my cock until i fill your throat and mouth with my hot cum,” he told you in a matter of fact tone, and you really wished your weak self would protest and shove him away and bolt from his apartment to disappear from the face of the earth, but you couldn’t deny this opportunity, couldn’t deny yourself anymore, and oikawa knew that. he’s playing you like a fiddle and you’re absolutely falling for it.

he let go of your hands and you immediately gripped his cock, the other one holding on to his muscled thigh for balance. you licked one long line on the underside of his shaft before going back to suck the pre-cum on his tip. he tightly closed his eyes as he groaned, putting one hand on the back of your head and felt his thigh tense at the stimulation brought by your tongue.

your lips curled into a smug smile at oikawa’s reaction. he noticed it and glared down at you, he was about to say something before you widened your mouth to fit his entire cock in one go. you slightly gagged when he hit the back of your throat. oikawa threw his head back as he let out a long and loud moan, cock twitching in the heat and wetness of your mouth.

determined to make oikawa lose his shit, you started bobbing your head as you licked and sucked on his throbbing cock, maintaining eye contact with him. his lips were parted as he stared down at your moving head, eyes smoldering and grip tightening. you watched as his chest heaved up and down, his breathing becoming heavier.

oikawa lightly shook his head to get rid of the haze your mouth put him in and squeezed the roots of your hair. you moaned in pain while you narrowed your eyes at him. just when you were about to give him a lashing, he cut you off.

“my cock may be in your mouth but this is not your time to shine, bunny. you do have a good mouth on you, but i’m here to fuck that mouth until you learn your place,” he growled at you, the vein in his temple pulsing as he tried to regain control.

you didn’t even have time to think before he pulled out and slammed his cock back inside your mouth, balls hitting your chin. you cried around his cock as your eyes immediately watered at the sudden force of his thrust. you squeezed his thighs as a sign for him to settle before he fucked your mouth like a fleshlight.

unfortunately, he only gave you a few moments to get used to his size before his hands bundled your hair into a makeshift ponytail and used them as leverage to fuck his cock in and out of your mouth. he groaned as he watched the tears from your eyes fall around your full cheeks as you moaned like a whore with his cock in your mouth.

“i bet you touch yourself to the thought of me, huh?” he taunted you, not stopping from his thrusts. you whined pathetically and felt slick from your cunt wet your panties. “fuck, you do. just how much of a slutty hypocrite are you? all you do is lie to yourself-shit, that’s good–and pretend to hate me when you’re just like everyone else,” he growled, thrusting deep until he hit the back of your throat, clearly frustrated with your actions. you were slobbering all over his cock, saliva and pre-cum staining your face with how fast he was thrusting, while it dripped on the sheets below you.

his groans grew louder and his thrusts became sloppier as he neared his orgasm. you so badly wanted to touch yourself but with the way you were positioned, you’d end up choking on oikawa’s cock if you removed your hands from his thighs. instead, you tried your best to ignore the growing ache in your pussy.

“swallow all my cum, you slutty whore,” he ordered you, voice straining as he delivered one final thrust inside of your mouth before you felt the warm spurts of his cum paint the insides of your mouth and throat. you moaned at the heat, your mouth so full of his cock and cum that you tapped his thigh to give you room to breathe. thankfully, he pulled out his cock with a pop as you inhaled loudly, throat raw from the fucking it experienced.

even if he didn’t tell you, you would’ve swallowed his cum to try and make a statement. he gripped your chin as he inspected your mouth, eyes flashing in satisfaction when he saw your mouth empty. “that’s a good fucking girl,” he said, thumb going inside of your mouth as he pushed on your tongue. you closed your eyes as you breathed heavily, hands hanging limply on your thighs.

oikawa seized the opportunity to swiftly look at his phone, smirking at his friends when he noticed them shifting uncomfortably. iwaizumi flipped him off and oikawa just winked at him.

he turned back to you with your eyes still closed, stealthily blocking your view of his phone as he pulled his thumb from your mouth and licked it. his cock was still hard, owing to the pent-up tension that you have been giving him ever since day one.

he shoved you so your back landed on the bed as he straddled your waist, kicking off the rest of his sweatpants and chucking them to the floor. you opened your eyes as you yelped at the sudden movement, wondering what the fuck he was going to do now.

“what are you do–” you questioned him, but before you could finish, he ripped your shirt into two pieces. your eyes widened in protest as your sports bra-clad chest was exposed to him. “i’m going to fuck these pretty tits, whore,” he said as he squeezed your breasts together and groped them, making your nipples harden into peaks.

you moaned at his touch, finally feeling some stimulation on your body after aching for so long. he lowered his head down to your chest and started sucking on your nipple through the fabric. you threw your head back on his pillow and whined, his hard cock grinding on your thigh at the sounds you were making. he sucked and licked until your back arched to him, silently begging for more.

he raised his head from your chest which made you whimper at the loss of warmth. he looked wild, like he was a man on a mission.

his large hands reached for your bra and stretched the fabric until your tits were exposed to the cool air of his room. you moaned at the feeling of being exposed to oikawa, he stared at your hardened nipples, watching as his cock twitched against his abdomen. you watched his adam’s apple bob until you saw his mouth open. he spit on the valley between your breasts, string connecting from his lips. you moaned at the obscenity of his actions, spit feeling cold and thick as it ran down your chest.

he groaned at the sight, one hand guiding his cock under your bra and inserting himself between your tits. once he settled in between them, he squeezed them together to create that tightness. it wasn’t enough but he’s been wanting to fuck your tits, and it’s finally happening now. he thrusted and groaned at the softness of your breasts squeezing his cock.

his cockhead hit your chin, making it wet with your saliva mixed with his cum. your body rocked along with his thrusts, hearing him grunt and moan as he squeezed and fucked your tits. you wanted to touch yourself, but he was holding you down so you couldn’t reach your pussy. his thrusts became faster and your breasts became wetter as he neared his second orgasm of the night.

you watched him and you became even more annoyed because even in the throes of passion, he was still so pretty. pink lips parted as he breathed loudly, brown eyes darkening the more he looked at you, and that drop of sweat from his neck going down his defined chest.

“g-gonna cum bunny, fuck,” he grunted loudly, head thrown back as his cock spilled his cum and landed on your chin, neck, and chest. he stopped moving and stared at his work in amazement. you glared at him, because although he looked divine when he came, you still hadn’t experienced any type of relief for the night.

“tooru, i’m starting to think you can’t make a girl cum,” you raised your eyebrow in defiance, looking at him boredly, arms supporting you as you lifted your body in a sitting position. “all you did was pleasure yourself. do you even know how to pleasure a girl?” you taunted him, displeasure clearly written over your face. he watched your expression and smirked to himself.

the nerve of this guy.

“oh bunny, i can definitely pleasure you and make you cum. several times, in fact,” he said, eyes tracing his finger as he spread his cum all over your chest. “i just had the foresight to let myself cum twice because if i went straight to fucking you, you’d pass out before i even got my fill of you,” he purred, cock twitching again.

“and i want you to be aware of everything i’m going to do to your body,” he ended his statement with a pinch to your nipple. you yelped at the sting and swatted his hand away. he let out a low laugh before he grabbed your hips and abruptly flipped you over to your stomach.

“let’s remove these pesky shorts, shall we?” he said as he slapped your ass hard. you squealed at the pain, almost forgetting that he’s a volleyball captain and you’ve seen how lethal his serves can be. but you know that he’s not putting all of his strength in that slap. he laughed at your reaction and slapped the other cheek of your ass before pulling your shorts down and throwing it to the floor, eyes subtly flicking to the table.

“pretty ass wearing pretty panties,” he whispered, his index finger tracing the white lace of your panties. your face flushed in embarrassment because you know he’s thinking that you wore those for him. you did, but you’re never going to admit that.

never in a million years.

“your reaction tells me all i need to know, bunny. you definitely wore these for me,” he growled, his large hand coming down to your ass again as you cried at the pain. he watched the plumpness of your ass jiggle before he landed a few more consecutive slaps on the skin.

satisfied with the redness of your ass and the whimpering that came out of your mouth, he tore your panties into two flimsy pieces. he slowly removed them from your pussy, your wetness clinging on to them and forming a string. “can’t wait to fuck this dirty pussy, bunny,” he groaned as he watched it, cock pulsing at the tip.

he didn’t even bother removing your cum stained bra before he pulled your hips up until you were on your knees. he pushed his hand on your lower back, forming a deep arch until you bared your wet pussy to him. leaving one hand on your hip, he guided his throbbing cock to your clenching pussy and ran his tip along your folds. both of you moaned at the stimulation, sensitivity running down your bodies. you gulped at how he was going to make himself fit.

he stopped at your clenching hole before he pushed the tip in, squeezing your hip as he groaned, feeling the tightness around his head. you were about to thrust yourself on his cock because he was taking his sweet time before he shoved himself, making the both of you cry out as he bottomed out in your pussy. he gave an experimental roll of his hips which made your pussy flutter around his cock. he moaned at the sensation, bracing both of his hands on your hips.

he pulled back out and thrusted harder this time, drawing out a moan from you at the force and fisted the sheets in your hands. he began snapping his hips against your ass as you moaned louder.

“look at how my cock’s splitting you,” he grunted, eyes trained at how his cock was disappearing in your cunt. “swallowing my cock like it’s nobody’s business. your fingers aren’t enough. no, you need my cock,” he hissed as he punctuated each word with a hard thrust. he slapped your ass every time he thrusted back in, the double stimulation making you moan like a whore.

his obsession with your ass didn’t stop there. he stopped spanking your ass and centered on the puckered ring that was slightly clenching. he tilted his head to the side and stared at it in wonder. he gathered the saliva in his mouth as he spat on it. you squealed at the new sensation, body rubbing against the bed as he brought his thumb to play with the tight ring, an area you never dared to touch.

“t-tooru, that’s dirty!” you cried out in indignation, trying to squirm away from his finger, but you couldn’t because his cock was drilling your pussy to the bed.

“so? it’s perfect for a fucking dirty girl like you,” he growled, thinking twice if he should insert his thumb in your asshole, but he decided not to. he figured you weren’t ready for that, yet.

he removed his finger from your asshole as he gripped your hips to fuck you even harder, clearly frustrated that he wasn’t able to plunge his thumb in your ass. you moaned at the harshness of his thrusts as he pushed on the back of your neck to the bed. you whined at the pressure, switching your head to the side as you focused on oikawa’s brutal thrusts. that was when you noticed a phone on the table, seeing three red faces peering at you.

“oh my god, are they watching us?!” your eyes widened as you cried out. oikawa looked to the side and chuckled. “took you long enough. they were starting to feel lonely because you weren’t noticing them–fuck, that’s a good pussy,” he hissed as he felt your cunt tighten around his cock.

“why don’t you scream for them as well, hm?” he said as he delivered a particularly hard thrust that made you moan loudly while looking at his friends. iwa, makki, and mattsun groaned at your reaction, shifting their pants as they stayed in their respective places in the next room.

“t-tooru, please turn off your phone!” you cried, tears streaming down your face as you felt shame, embarrassment, and surprisingly, arousal creeping up your sweaty body. were you getting turned on by his friends watching your pussy get fucked?

“fuck, you’re so pretty when you cry,” he groaned as he spanked your ass once more, thrusting harder as he felt your cunt squeeze the shit out of his cock, clearly enjoying the fact that you were getting excited about being watched.

“and besides, i don’t think you really want me to. i think you like getting fucked stupid for my friends to see,” oikawa taunted you, his hands squeezing the fat of your hips. he moved your bodies so you were facing his phone head on, your fucked out face clear for them to watch. you lowered your head to save some of your dignity but he pulled your hair, neck straining as he showed your face to show them.

“tsk, don’t hide your face from them, bunny, let them see how good i’m fucking you,” he said as he looked at his phone, smirking at his friends who glared at him, clearly wanting to leave and bust the door down just to prove him wrong.

“after all, you are an attention whore. i’m just giving you what you want,” he whispered as he leaned down to bite the lobe of your ear. you whined at his strong thrusts, slick from your pussy sliding down your thighs.

“maybe you want them to come in here after i’m done with you and use you as a cum dumpster, do you want that?” he asks, hips thrusting hard as his balls hit your sopping cunt. you whined at his statement, hands gripping the sheets as your vision blurred from the pleasure.

“y-yes i want that! shit, t-tooru, feels so fucking good,” you whined, brain turning into mush as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. your legs were starting to tremble as your orgasm was fast approaching. oikawa knew you were going to cum so he pulled your hair harder and leaned down to whisper in your ear, his sweaty torso covering the expanse of your back.

“it’s okay, you can say it, tell me you love the way i’m fucking this filthy pussy. you’re the only one who doesn’t want to admit it,” he growled in your ear as he furiously played with your clit, making the knot in your stomach threaten to burst from his ministrations.

“i l-love the way you’re f-fucking me tooru! so fucking good, yes—!” you screamed as you came all around his cock, body shaking from the intense orgasm. oikawa groaned loudly as he filled you up with his cum, yours mixing with his. you moaned at the warmth in your pussy, breathing heavily as you tried to regain your senses. he came so much that it was sliding down your legs and staining his sheets.

you looked up at his phone and saw his friends staring at you with their jaws dropped. you would laugh at how comical they looked if you hadn’t just experienced the best fucking of your life, though you’ll never say that to oikawa. ever. you sighed instead, feeling icky with all the cum on and in your body.

you were about to lay on your back until oikawa carried you off the bed and slammed you against the wall, his hand cushioning your head from the hard cement. you yelped as your head spinned from the sudden movement.

“oh? you thought we were done? i promised to make you cum several times, didn’t i?” he smirked at you. you were amazed at his strength, his biceps flexing as he wrapped your still shaking legs around his waist. he didn’t even give you time to breathe before he plunged his hard cock inside your leaking pussy. fuck, this man’s stamina is endless.

you moaned wantonly as he pistoned his hips in and out of your cunt, hands squeezing the back of your thighs. your sweaty back was sliding against the wall as your body moved up and down, hands holding his shoulders for support. you noticed that you were still wearing your bra and it made you uncomfortable at the restriction it was causing to your tits.  

“we want to see her tits, oikawa!” mattsun exclaimed. he was practically bouncing in his seat in excitement. iwaizumi didn’t stop him because he wanted to see your breasts too.

oikawa  smirked, “you heard what he said, wanna show these tits to them?” you nodded frantically, embarrassment nowhere to be found as you removed your hands from his shoulders, finally removing the stained fabric from your chest. oikawa squeezed them with one big hand as soon as they were exposed causing all of them to collectively groan at the sight while oikawa continued fucking you.

“you walk around hating me only for you to end up getting fucked by my cock?” he growled at you as he ended his sentence with a hard thrust. “how pathetic and cock-hungry you must be. such a fucking whore.” you whined at his words, not being able to say anything because it was true. you were a cock-hungry whore for him, and you loved how he was fucking you with pent-up anger and frustration.

he squeezed your hips tighter, all the accumulated fluids in between you making lewd squelching sounds as you neared your orgasm once again. “to–tooru, fuck!” you screamed, cunt clenching as his cock hit your sweet and sensitive spot, walls fluttering around him.

“cum for me, whore,” he growled as he lowered his head to bite your neck. you came with a scream as you left red lines on his shoulders. his thrusts slowed down as he set your shaking legs down to the floor. he was still inside of you as he leaned his forehead down to yours, eyes closed as a drop of sweat fell from his hairline. his defined chest heaved as he fought to catch his breaths.

he carried you back to the bed with his cock still inside you. you thought he was going to pull out until he grabbed your limp legs and put them on his shoulders. you moaned at the new position, weakly trying to push him away because you were so tired. “n-no more tooru, t-too sensitive!” you weakly protested, hands trying to push yourself away from him.

“i think your dirty cunt can give me one more orgasm, hm? can you be a good whore and do that for me?” he cooed at you, thumbs slightly rubbing your ankles. you softly nodded at him, enamored by his sparkling brown eyes, or were you just drunk on his cum and musky scent? either way, his cock was too good to deny, even if your pussy was already close to being numb.

he smiled devilishly at you, he hugged your legs closer to his body as he started thrusting once more. you were practically incoherent, mouth sputtering unintelligible words and high pitched whines as oikawa rode your pussy. he let one leg fall off his shoulder as he gripped the headboard, mattress squeaking from his deep thrusts.

you watched as a drop of sweat fell from his neck and travelled down his chest and abdomen to mix with your joined bodies. you were so wet and slick down there that every thrust oikawa made only served to make your pussy throb and pulse around him more. you were moaning with reckless abandon, uncaring of the people that were watching your bruised cunt getting relentlessly fucked, only caring to climax one final time just so tooru would let you go and pass out on his bed.

oikawa was thrusting so hard and fast that the headboard was banging against the wall, with your breasts bouncing up and down along with it. you could tell that he too was at his limit, judging by how his thrusts became sloppier and erratic and his moans increasing in volume and pitch.

“t-tooru, g-gonna cum, please,” you said, he groaned as he brought down his arm from the headboard and played with your clit, pinching it with his fingers, making you scream and arch your back as you squirted all around him. he came with a loud moan as he saw the clear liquid shoot out from your pussy, drenching his abdomen. “fuck, did you just squirt?” he breathed in amazement, eyes widened and mouth dropped.

he set your leg down and pulled out as he watched your mixed fluids trickle out of your cunt. you were too fucked out to care as he played with your pussy, your mouth open and eyes drooping as you breathed loudly and heavily. he was pushing the mixed cum back inside your filthy cunt when you heard the door swing open to reveal your three voyeurs, all with tented cocks stretching the front of their pants.

“shit, oikawa. you actually fucked her dumb,” mattsun said in fascination, watching your chest heave up and down. makki hummed in agreement while iwaizumi just stared at your dripping cunt, watching your cum and tooru’s trickling out of your pussy and sliding down your ass, staining the sheets. you shivered at their stares and brought your hand to spread your folds, making them see your filthy pussy better. you smirked lazily as you heard the men in the room groan in unison while you swirled your finger, playing with the cum in your cunt.

“you got room for three more cocks, baby?” mattsun taunted you, three of them entering the room and standing at the foot of the bed. your smirk dropped as you watched iwaizumi take his shirt off, leaning your head back on the pillow as you moaned tiredly, your battered pussy quivering at the thought of more cocks making a mess of your cunt.

needless to say, you and oikawa didn’t get any work done on the project that night.

[9:21 PM]

[naazaif327]

This is kinda what happens when a straight person makes a movie “for the gays” tbh. Like, Regina and Janis are fan favourites so they get all the attention and focus at the expense of Cady, but since Cady is still the lead character nothing really works or comes together. The lines in ‘Apex Predator’ where Cady starts to covet Regina’s social power and her own newfound status (“and though Janis is great, she does not have this power, people literally cower, Janis can’t do that!” and “And it’s kinda fun when she bares her claws, when I’m safe because I’m with the apex predator!”) are instead given to Damien and Janis for no reason other than that they know that Janis and Damien are the fan favourites, so Cady’s entire villain arc (basically the main plot of the original movie) happens during Revenge Party instead. The giant Regina-Cady confrontation that the whole movie has been leading up to literally happens silently in the background of Janis’s big final song, we don’t even get to see them fighting. And then the rest of the movie after the bus accident focuses on Cady, which makes the whole ending boring and unimportant because Cady is barely a character in this movie.

Meanwhile, they like Regina so much that they sand her down into a nothingburger of a character who is barely a villain at all. I remember watching the original movie and legitimately kind of hating her and being on Cady and Janis’ side when they were trying to ruin her life before coming to feel bad for her by the time the sweatpants scene happens because that’s the emotional journey the movie takes you on. But instead in the musical I mostly felt bad for her right away because she comes off as way more down-to-Earth and desperate to be liked from the getgo. “Someone Gets Hurt” in the stage production is a joke about her pretending to be caring and multifaceted when really she just wants to claim Aaron as her property and rub it in Cady’s face, but I swear the movie plays it like she’s genuinely worried about being liked and insecure that Aaron might like someone else more. Watching them turn her friends against her and mess with her weight reads as cruel right away because of this.

They even sanded down all the homophobia to an extent that makes me genuinely feel insane. Kids are still homophobic! It’s still a huge in-your-face issue!! Like, homophobia today isn’t just kids wearing pride pins in order to be an ally to your face while calling you an obsessed lesbian behind your back, they will still spread rumours about your sexuality and call you a dyke or a faggot to your face. Most gay kids are still closeted in high school, or are just uncomfortable talking about their sexuality for fear of retaliation. I don’t want to bring down the mood, but there are still so many cases of teens (both girls AND boys) committing violent hate crimes against queer teens in real life right now, and updating your movie to make the homophobia less severe to reflect modern times is just a rejection of reality.

Making Janis an out lesbian and switching the homophobia she endured (“I think you’re a lesbian” and “they spray painted Space Dyke on her locker”) to calling her a “pyro-lez” one time, having Regina be outwardly accepting of her being queer but mock her behind her back, and finally switching up Regina’s last homophobic insult to instead be about Janis’ art and supposed pyromania is Not more progressive, it’s just making a complicated narrative more basic and unchallenging to make it into more palatable content-paste.

Which is an issue across the board imo. Every slightly racy or shocking joke is ground down into something easier to swallow. “Sexy Rosa Parks” becomes “sexy Joan of Arc”; “I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in” becomes “Watch me as I run the world in shoes I cannot walk in” because god forbid we don’t constantly validate everyone all the time and instead engage in the actual critique of “Sexy”, which is that it’s silly and unreasonable and kind of horrifying that we push this standard of “be a girlboss leader and ALSO be hot and fuckable at all times” on teenage girls. I don’t even necessarily like all those shocking jokes or weird political interludes (absolutely despised that “amateur tweens” joke from the stage show) but it’s so so clear that they erased all of them to make the movie more palatable for a wider audience rather than any moral judgement.

Also it just fundamentally messes up a lot of the jokes and comedic timing from the stage musical and the original movie in completely incomprehensible ways to me. Cady cutting off Aaron in the middle of talking about sports to address the audience about her sad history with love and romance because she’s clearly not listening to him is hilarious, but instead the movie has him finish talking to her and having a beat of silence before she starts her song, and it’s all just so awkward. Same with the music, so many of the instrumentals are taken away to make the songs sound less like a classic musical and more like a series of pop songs, but that doesn’t work with how lyrically verbose they are; so in a song like Rather Be Me, they’ll play like one bassy cord every ten seconds while Auli’i basically sing-talks ten sentences acapella, and it’s just baffling.

Randomly watched the new Mean Girls movie and I will say I was pleasantly surprised at how much it made me appreciate the original stage production of the musical because they somehow did it so much worse lol. Like I thought the original musical was just okay, but now I see how great it was in comparison to what it could’ve been. Auli’i was great tho