#it was just a few nitpicks i had with some... framing stuff

[fourspiceblend]

Totk has fixed SO many of the issues I had with botw, character wise specifically, I'm preparing an essay about it that might never ever see the light of day lol

[hoshifighting]

I can do it for you

— Synopsis: After years dealing with everything alone, you stumble upon an old wishbook from your past. And you jokingly writes down your ideal boyfriend, Mingyu. To your surprise, Mingyu magically appears in your couch. — WC: 8k — WARNINGS: Smut, fantasy, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral (f.receiving), g'spot stimulation, overstimulation, oversensitivity, sex fluids and... HOUSEWIFE MINGYU?!

You've always been one of those independent souls since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. Nobody had to tell you how to tie your shoes or pour your own cereal; you were on it like a hawk on a mouse. That's just how you rolled.

Every morning, without fail, the alarm clock would screech you awake. You'd drag yourself out of bed, bleary-eyed and half-asleep, but ready to tackle whatever the day threw at you. Bleary-eyed, you'd stumble out of bed, wishing for just a few more minutes of shut-eye.

Then it was off into the madhouse of morning traffic. Cars honking, people yelling—it was like a scene straight out of a circus. One hand massaging your temple, while the other holds the wheel, again, what would be the excuse about being late for your supervisee?

Once you strutted into the office, it was game time. Arms loaded up with documents, and the sound of your heels echoing through the corridors until you plopped down at your desk. Your boss, with his constant nitpicking, was like a pesky mosquito buzzing around your head, while you practically sizzled your fingertips on the keyboard.

As the end of the month drew near, it was like a race against the clock in the department. Everyone was scrambling to wrap up their projects, racing against time like sprinters gunning for the finish line. The hours seemed to slip through their fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass.

Phones were ringing off the hook, papers were flying left and right, and the clickety-clack of keyboards filled the air like a drumbeat. It was a whirlwind of activity, with no time to spare for even a quick breather.

As you finally left the building, the thought of tackling the grocery store was the furthest thing from your mind. Rush hour was in full swing, and the last thing you wanted was to spend a few more hours stuck in traffic. 

With a sigh of exhaustion, you let your purse plop onto the couch, and you dashed towards the bathroom, craving the comfort of a hot shower to wash away the day's stress. But as soon as you twisted the knob to turn on the water, you were met with a disappointing blast of icy coldness. Great, just what you needed—a malfunctioning shower.

You knew the drill all too well. The resistance had probably burned out again, leaving you with no choice but to endure a bone-chilling cold shower. Normally, you'd roll up your sleeves and tackle the problem head-on, but right now, the thought of dealing with it was more than you could bear.

So, with a resigned shrug, you decided to tough it out. A cold shower was better than no shower at all, and besides, you were too tired to bother with fixing it tonight. As you stepped under the frigid stream of water, you couldn't help but curse your luck.

With some unexpected free time on your hands, you found yourself rummaging through the forgotten stuff tucked away in the drawer beneath the TV. Dust bunnies greeted you as you pulled out various items—a picture frame with a photo of your graduation, a stack of letters from high school friends, old books with worn covers, and... 

You blinked in surprise as you pulled out what appeared to be a wishbook. Memories flooded back to you as you flipped through its pages, the corners dog-eared and the edges frayed from years of neglect. You vaguely remembered creating this in middle school, jotting down your hopes and dreams for your adult life.

You couldn't help but be taken aback as you glanced through the pages of the wishbook, tracing your finger over each childhood dream that had somehow become a reality.

"When I grow up, I want to drive a red car." You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the day you drove off the lot in that sleek red beauty, feeling like the queen of the road.

"When I grow up, I want to work at my dream job." It hadn't been an easy journey, filled with ups and downs and more than a few setbacks along the way. But through sheer grit and determination, you had landed your dream job, doing what you loved day in and day out.

"When I grow up, I want to have my own apartment." Well, here you were, sitting in your very own slice of paradise. Sure, it might not be the biggest or the fanciest place in town, but it was yours. And that was all that mattered.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity as you gazed at the blank pages at the end of the wishbook. What if you wrote something new? Something unexpected, something you hadn't even considered before?

With a sudden impulse, you grabbed your phone and dialed up your friend. After a few rings, she answered, her voice laced with amusement.

"Hey there, what's up?" she chirped.

"Hey," you replied, a hint of uncertainty in your tone. "I was just thinking... what do you think I've been needing in my life?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line before your friend burst into laughter. "Oh, that's easy," she said between giggles. "You need a boyfriend!"

You couldn't help but frown at her response. "Really? Out of all the things in the world, a boyfriend?"

She chuckled, sensing your skepticism. "Okay Y/N, maybe not a boyfriend exactly," she conceded, "but someone to take care of you. You're always the one taking care of everything that falls into your hands. Have you ever thought about taking a break? Having someone to do it for you for once?"

Her words struck a chord with you, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of recognition. She was right—you were constantly taking care of everyone and everything around you, but who was taking care of you?

You chuckled to yourself as you scribbled down the traits you wanted in a potential boyfriend, feeling a bit silly but also oddly excited at the prospect. As the hours ticked by, you found yourself lost in thought, lost in the whimsical world of daydreams and possibilities.

"A guy who is proactive, kind, maybe a little bit clingy?" you mused aloud, tapping the pen against your chin. "Someone who knows their way around the kitchen... As you continued to brainstorm, you found yourself getting a bit carried away. "Good-looking and tall, with long hair and puppy-dog eyes"

The more you wrote, the more absurdly perfect your imaginary boyfriend became. It was almost like describing a prince straight out of a fairy tale, complete with all the clichéd traits and characteristics.

As you looked over the words you had written in the wishbook, a wave of doubt washed over you. You couldn't help but cringe at the seemingly unrealistic expectations you had set for yourself. Closing the wishbook with a sigh, you tossed it onto the center table, feeling a pang of disappointment.

"It was just a coincidence," you muttered to yourself, trying to rationalize away the strange alignment of your childhood dreams with your current reality. It seemed too far-fetched to believe that your wishes had somehow come true.

With a heavy heart, you made your way to the bedroom, longing for the solace of sleep to sweep you away from the uncertainty of the day. Maybe it was time to let go of the notion that wishes could come true and focus on the here and now.

And there it was, like a cruel joke, that goddamn alarm blaring in your ear, dragging you kicking and screaming out of the sweet embrace of sleep. With a groan of frustration, you stumbled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom, bracing yourself for another shitty, cold-ass shower.

The water hit you like a slap in the face as you hurriedly scrubbed away the remnants of sleep. No time for luxuriating in a warm bath, oh no, not in your world.

After hastily toweling off, you raced around the house like a madman, searching for that elusive perfect piece to complete your look. But in the end, it was all just chaos, a jumbled mess of clothes and accessories that left you feeling more frazzled than ever.

As you stormed out the door and into the chaos of the morning rush hour, you couldn't help but curse under your breath at the sea of cars stretched out before you. It was like a never-ending nightmare, a never-ending parade of honking horns and exhaust fumes.

And then there was your boss, with his never-ending stream of shit, nitpicking every little thing you did like a goddamn broken record. You plastered on a fake smile and nodded along, all the while seething with rage on the inside.

You trudged wearily from the elevator, each step sending shooting pains through your feet courtesy of those godforsaken heels. The keys jangled in your hand as you finally reached your apartment door, the promise of relief beckoning you inside.

With a sigh of relief, you swung open the door and kicked off your heels, reveling in the cool touch of the floor against your bare feet. But as you stepped further into the apartment, something felt off.

The air was thick with the scent of food, and a faint hum drifted through the air. Panic surged through you as you realized that someone had invaded your sanctuary.

Heart pounding, you tiptoed through the apartment, checking every nook and cranny for signs of an intruder. But each room you entered was empty, the only sound the echo of your own footsteps.

Finally, you reached the kitchen, and there he was—a tall figure standing at the stove, his back to you as he hummed a tune under his breath. It took a moment for the shock to register, but when it did, you felt a rush of conflicting emotions flood through you.

"Who the hell are you?" you demanded, your voice sharp with disbelief and anger as you confronted the intruder. The guy nearly jumped out of his skin, and you flinched together.

"What are you doing here? Leave!" you insisted, your heart pounding in your chest as you pointed the kitchen utensil in his direction.

The intruder hesitated for a moment before speaking, his voice trembling slightly. "I-I'm Mingyu," he stammered, his eyes wide with fear.

You scoffed, the name sounding vaguely familiar but not enough to ease your suspicion. "Mingyu? Who the fuck is Mingyu?" you snapped, your anger boiling over.

But then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Mingyu... the random name you had created for the boyfriend in your wishbook, the one you had jokingly listed out the qualities you wanted in a partner.

Your laughter was hollow and bitter as you realized the absurdity of the situation. "Are you kidding me?" you muttered, shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm calling the police."

But before you could reach for the phone, the intruder lunged forward, grabbing the wishbook from the center table. "No, no, no!" he exclaimed, desperation creeping into his voice.

You watched in confusion as he flipped through the pages, his eyes widening in shock as he read the list of qualities you had written down. 

You eyed the wishbook with a mixture of disbelief and apprehension as the intruder waved it in front of you, his excitement palpable. Every detail you had written down seemed to describe him perfectly—tall, with puppy-dog eyes, and even the long hair. It was uncanny.

But despite the strange coincidence, you couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. Keeping your distance, you raised the pan threateningly, the question burning on your lips. "How did you get into my house?" you demanded, your voice sharp with suspicion.

The intruder's eyes widened in alarm, his hands held up in a gesture of surrender. "I-I don't know," he stammered, his voice trembling. "I just woke up on the couch, I swear."

Your heart raced as you processed his words. He didn't seem to be lying, but the situation was just too bizarre to comprehend. How could someone just magically appear in your home, especially someone who seemed to fit the description of your fictional boyfriend?

With a wary glance, you slowly lowered the pan, the tension in the air dissipating slightly. "Well, you better start explaining," you muttered, your mind racing with a million different possibilities.

You paced back and forth in front of the couch, your mind spinning with disbelief as you tried to make sense of the surreal situation unfolding before you. "So you're telling me that I manifested you by my wishbook?" you repeated incredulously, your voice tinged with disbelief.

The intruder nodded solemnly, reaching for the wishbook and flipping it over to reveal a small gold star etched into the back cover. "See this?" he said, pointing to the star. "This is a manifestation charm. It's what brought me here."

Your frown deepened as you studied the tiny symbol, your mind struggling to comprehend the bizarre turn of events. "But... how?" you muttered, your thoughts racing a mile a minute.

The intruder's eyes widened with curiosity as he looked up at you. "Where did you get this book?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency.

You racked your brain, trying to recall where you had acquired the wishbook all those years ago. And then it hit you like a bolt of lightning. "A mystique store," you blurted out, the memories flooding back in a rush. "I bought it from a mystique store years ago."

You sank onto the couch beside him, the weight of the revelation settling over you like a heavy blanket. It was hard to wrap your head around the idea that a simple book could hold such mysterious powers.

You turned to the intruder, your curiosity piqued as you sought answers to the questions burning in your mind. "Where did you come from?" you asked, your voice laced with both apprehension and fascination.

The intruder hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering away as if he were wrestling with his response. "I... I don't know," he admitted finally, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "It's all a bit... fuzzy."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, wondering how someone could not know their own age or origins. "What do you mean, fuzzy?" you pressed, your curiosity growing by the second.

The intruder sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I woke up on your couch with no memory of how I got here or where I came from," he explained, his expression troubled. "All I know is that I felt drawn to you somehow, like I was meant to find you."

"You didn't have a life before?" you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief as you looked at the intruder sitting beside you.

He nodded solemnly, his expression tinged with sadness. "Yes, I did. But it's all... blurry, like a dream that I can't quite remember."

Your brow furrowed in confusion. "Where did you live before?" you pressed, your curiosity getting the better of you.

The intruder's gaze drifted towards the window, his hands gesturing vaguely in front of him. "Somewhere like this," he murmured, his voice distant. 

You followed his gaze, staring out at the endless expanse of buildings and lights stretching out before you. It was a sight you had grown accustomed to over the years, but seeing it through the eyes of someone who had never experienced it before brought a strange sense of wonder.

"And now?" you prompted, turning back to the intruder beside you.

He shrugged, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Now, I'm here," he replied simply, his eyes meeting yours with hope.

You blinked in surprise as the intruder broke the silence, his words cutting through the air like a knife. "I fixed the shower," he announced, a hint of pride in his voice.

You widened your eyebrows, your mind struggling to process his words. "You... fixed the shower?" you repeated, your voice tinged with disbelief.

The intruder nodded eagerly, a pleased smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, it was just a small problem with the resistance. I managed to sort it out," he explained, his tone casual as if he hadn't just performed a miracle.

You couldn't help but stare at him in astonishment, your mind racing with a million questions. How had he known there was a problem with the shower? And more importantly, how had he fixed it so quickly?

But before you could voice your thoughts, he continued, "Oh, and I went to the supermarket and washed your clothes too."

Your jaw practically hit the floor as his words sank in. "You... went to the supermarket?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.

The intruder nodded, his smile widening at your stunned expression. "Yep, got everything on your list. And the laundry was piling up, so I took care of that too," he said nonchalantly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

You were at a loss for words, your mind reeling with the sheer absurdity of the situation. This man, this stranger who had magically appeared in your living room, had taken it upon himself to fix your shower, do your grocery shopping, and even wash your clothes—all without being asked.

"But... why?" you finally managed to sputter out, your voice tinged with confusion.

The intruder shrugged, a playful twinkle in his eyes. "Why not?" he replied simply, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

"Come here," he beckoned, motioning for you to follow him into the kitchen. With a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, you trailed after him, unsure of what to expect.

As he lifted the lid of the pan on the stove, a delicious aroma wafted up, making your mouth water. "Wow," you murmured, impressed by the sight of the freshly cooked food before you. "You cooked all of this?"

He nodded proudly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yep, thought I'd whip up a little something for us to eat," he replied, gesturing towards the table where two plates were already set.

You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, grateful for the unexpected gesture. But then your eyes drifted to the clothesline in the corner of the room, where an array of freshly washed clothing hung neatly.

"Oh my god," you gasped, your hand flying to cover your face in embarrassment. "You washed everything?"

The intruder followed your gaze, his eyes landing on the recently laundered garments with a hint of amusement. "Yep, everything," he confirmed, his tone light and playful.

Your cheeks flushed crimson as you realized just how intimate some of the items hanging on the line were. "I... uh..." you stammered, at a loss for words.

He grinned mischievously, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Hey, I gotta say, those puppy-stamped underwear of yours are pretty cute," he teased, a playful glint in his eye.

You buried your face in your hands, the heat of embarrassment spreading across your cheeks. "Oh my god, stop," you groaned, mortified by the unexpected turn of events.

[...]

As you emerged from the warmth of the bath, wrapped snugly in your pajamas, you found Mingyu already fast asleep on the couch, curled up into a small ball. Despite the strangeness of the situation, a pang of sympathy tugged at your heartstrings as you watched him sleep.

You couldn't deny that he looked rather adorable, all shrunken and peaceful in his slumber. If you had asked for a short man in your wishbook, he certainly fit the couch.

But as you glanced at your bed, you knew that letting him sleep there was out of the question. He may have magically appeared in your life, but he was still a stranger, and you weren't about to let your guard down just yet.

Sure, you could kick him out onto the cold streets, but the thought left a bitter taste in your mouth. You weren't heartless, after all, and it was clear that he didn't have a place to go. He hadn't asked to be here, and the circumstances of his arrival were still shrouded in mystery.

But as you glanced at him sleeping peacefully, his features softened in the glow of the moonlight, you couldn't help but feel a strange sense of responsibility towards him. After all, he was just as much a victim of whatever strange forces had brought him here as you were.

With a sigh, you resigned yourself to the fact that he would have to stay—for now, at least. You could figure out the details in the morning, once the shock of the day had worn off and your mind was clearer.

As you stirred awake to the aroma of freshly brewed coffeee, you nearly jumped out of your skin before remembering that Mingyu was there. With a mixture of relief and gratitude, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

As you got ready for work, the thought of facing another chaotic day loomed over you like a dark cloud. But as you emerged into the living room, the sight of a steaming mug of coffee waiting for you on the table brought a small smile to your face.

You took a tentative sip, and It was so good that you couldn't help but shake off the idea of going to the coffee shop today.

"Mingyu, I'm leaving," you announced, grabbing your bag and heading towards the door. "I'll be back at 7pm. Do you need anything?"

Just as you were about to step out, Mingyu appeared in the living room, a packed lunch in his hands. "Here," he said, offering you the lunchbox. "Eat well, and I'll be waiting for you."

You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, but as your eyes fell on him, clad in one of your shirts from a rock band, you couldn't suppress a laugh. The shirt was stretched to its limits, barely covering his tummy while his biceps threatened to tear through the fabric.

"Okay, I'm definitely going to buy you some clothes," you chuckled, shaking your head in amusement.

Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Can't I walk without them?" he teased, his eyes dancing with mischief.

You widened your eyes in mock horror. "Of course not!" you exclaimed, feigning shock. "You can't just walk naked on the street!"

Mingyu tilted his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Can't I?" he countered, a playful grin spreading across his face.

You couldn't help but laugh at his antics, shaking your head in disbelief. "No, you definitely can't," you replied with a chuckle. "Now, behave yourself while I'm gone, okay?"

Mingyu nodded solemnly, his smile widening. "I promise," he said, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

As you sat down to eat your lunch at work, you couldn't help but notice the curious glances from your coworkers. They watched you with envious eyes as you savored each bite of the delicious meal that Mingyu had prepared for you.

Suppressing a smile, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards Mingyu for his thoughtfulness. Despite the strange circumstances of his arrival, he had gone out of his way to make sure you were well-fed and taken care of.

As you enjoyed the flavors of the homemade meal, you couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through you. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes about Mingyu's character and the bond that was beginning to form between the two of you.

As the evening rolled around and you left work, you were determined to fulfill your promise to yourself and Mingyu. You headed to the shopping district, the image of Mingyu looking like a doll lingering in your mind.

You browsed through the racks of clothing, selecting pieces that you thought would suit him perfectly. It was a strange feeling, shopping for someone else with such care and attention, but with each item you picked out, you couldn't help but imagine how handsome Mingyu would look in them.

You found yourself spending more on clothing for Mingyu than you did for yourself, but you didn't mind in the slightest. After all, he was the one who needed them the most, and you were determined to make sure he looked his best.

With each new outfit you selected, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement bubbling up inside you. This was your chance to dress Mingyu exactly how you had imagined your dream boyfriend to be, and you were going to make sure he looked absolutely perfect.

You arrived home to find Mingyu sitting on the couch, your wishbook in his hands. As you entered, he quickly put the book aside and rose to help you with the heavy bags of clothing.

"You didn't need to buy all of these," he said, his expression turning slightly sullen as he glanced at the bags.

You brushed off his concern with a wave of your hand, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "It's fine, Mingyu," you reassured him. "I have a good salary now, and it's nice to be able to buy things for someone else, not just for myself."

As you settled onto the couch, Mingyu's gaze lingered on the bags of clothing beside you. There was a hint of curiosity in his eyes, as if he were eager to see what you had bought.

Mingyu removed his shirt as you sat on the couch, unpacking the bags of clothing around you. You couldn't help but steal a glance at his form, admiring the way the fabric of his jeans clung to his legs and the muscles rippled beneath his skin.

Noticing your gaze, Mingyu chuckled softly. "Like what you see?" he teased, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

You blushed slightly, feeling caught off guard by his remark. "Um, I was just admiring the clothes," you replied, trying to hide your embarrassment.

Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, how about I model them for you?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You couldn't help but laugh at his suggestion, the tension melting away as you relaxed into the playful banter. "Like a parade?" you asked, a smile playing at the corners of your lips.

Mingyu nodded eagerly, already reaching for one of the bags. "Exactly!" he exclaimed, his excitement contagious.

As he began to try on the new clothes, you couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation. It was like watching a fashion show, with Mingyu as the star of the runway.

With each new outfit he tried on, you couldn't help but admire how effortlessly he pulled off each look. From casual jeans and a t-shirt to a sleek button-down shirt, he looked absolutely stunning in everything he wore.

s you walked towards him with the silver chain in hand, Mingyu watched you with a curious expression, his eyes following your every move. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you as you approached, a strange tension building between the two of you.

With a slight frown of concentration, you struggled to fasten the chain around his neck, your fingers fumbling with the clasp as you tried to maneuver it into place. Mingyu stood patiently, his eyes fixed on you as you teetered on the tips of your toes, trying to reach him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you managed to secure the chain around his neck, the silver gleaming against his dark shirt. As you took a step back, you couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through you. It was the closest you had ever been to Mingyu since he appeared in your life.

Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you met Mingyu's gaze with a shy smile. "There you go," 

Mingyu glanced at himself in the mirror, adjusting the silver chain around his neck before walking over to you with a grateful smile.

"Thank you," he said softly, his eyes meeting yours with warmth and sincerity. "You didn't have to do all this for me."

You returned his smile, shaking your head. "It's the least I could do," you replied, your tone light. "After all, you didn't exactly ask to be summoned," you added, making air quotes with your fingers for emphasis.

Mingyu chuckled, the sound warm and melodious. "I suppose you have a point there," he conceded, a playful glint in his eyes. "But I'm certainly not complaining about it."

"Hmm, Mingyu, do you want to hang out?" you asked, a smile playing at the corners of your lips.

Mingyu frowned slightly, looking at you with curiosity. "Where?" he inquired, his tone tinged with uncertainty.

You grinned, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of showing Mingyu a good time. "Just wait here, I'll get ready," you replied, hurrying off to your room to change.

It was Friday night, and you were used to spending it with your friends, going out and having a good time. And what better way to show Mingyu a bit of the city than to take him out with you?

You turned around to find Mingyu standing in your bedroom, his eyes lingering on your black dress and the silver chain adorning your neck. His gaze was filled with curiosity as he took in your appearance.

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you met his eyes. "Well, what do you think?" you asked, a hint of playfulness in your voice.

Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips. "Are we matching tonight?" he teased, gesturing to his own black shirt and jeans.

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his playful banter. "I guess we are," you replied, a smile dancing in your eyes. 

Mingyu's eyes softened, a genuine smile lighting up his face. "You look beautiful," he said softly, his words filled with sincerity.

A blush crept up your cheeks at his compliment, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at his words. "Thank you," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

As you entered the bustling club with Mingyu by your side, the loud music and flashing lights engulfed you both. Mingyu seemed to take it all in stride, moving through the crowd with an ease that suggested he was no stranger to such environments.

You couldn't help but notice the curious glances directed at him as you made your way to the bar. Tall, charismatic, and undeniably handsome, Mingyu certainly attracted attention wherever he went. You couldn't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that you had such a captivating companion by your side.

Taking a seat at the bar, you turned to Mingyu with a smile. "What'll it be?" you asked, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music.

Mingyu glanced at you, a playful glint in his eyes. "Surprise me," he replied, his voice tinged with excitement.

You grinned, turning to the bartender to place your order, as you waited for your drinks to arrive.

As Mingyu glanced around the crowded club, his eyes filled with curiosity, he turned to you with a thoughtful expression.

"Hey, do boyfriend and girlfriend usually come to places like this?" he asked, his voice slightly raised to be heard over the music.

You paused for a moment, considering his question carefully. Did Mingyu see the two of you as boyfriend and girlfriend? The thought sent a flutter of excitement through you, but you didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Well, sometimes," you replied, choosing your words carefully. "Couples come here to have fun and let loose together."

Mingyu nodded thoughtfully, his gaze lingering on yours. "So, are we... like that?" he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

You felt your heart skip a beat at his question, the possibility of being more than just friends with Mingyu sending a thrill through you. But you didn't want to assume anything without knowing how he felt.

"I'm not sure," you admitted honestly, meeting his gaze with sincerity. "What do you think?"

"Well, you wrote in your wishbook that you wanted a boyfriend," he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Your eyes widened in surprise, realization dawning on you. "Oh, right," you said, a hint of embarrassment creeping into your voice. "I guess I did, didn't I?"

Mingyu shrugged, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I guess I just wanted to understand," he admitted. "To see if... if maybe I could be that person for you."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his playful tone. "I suppose you are," you admitted, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought.

After a moment of silence, you couldn't help but ask the question that had been nagging at the back of your mind. "Am I even your type?" you blurted out, unable to contain your curiosity any longer.

Mingyu's eyes traveled over you, his gaze intense as he took in your appearance. He seemed to be studying you, his expression unreadable.

You held your breath, waiting for his response, unsure of what to expect. The tension between you was palpable, as you waited for Mingyu's answer.

He bit his lip, a gesture that sent a wave of heat coursing through you. "You're exactly my type…" he replied, his voice husky.

"Is that so?" you teased, raising an eyebrow in mock skepticism. "Well, you'll have to work harder than that to win me over."

Mingyu chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oh, I plan to," he replied, his voice dripping with confidence. "After all, I'm everything you wanted, right?"

You couldn't help but shake your head at his boldness, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through you at the prospect of what the night might hold.

"Maybe," you replied with a grin, unable to resist the playful banter. "But I'll believe it when I see it."

Mingyu leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered softly, sending shivers down your spine. "I read the last pages of your wishbook," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "And let me tell you, I can definitely make all your wildest dreams come true."

And in minutes, everything happened. 

You found yourself naked on your couch, your body laid bare before Mingyu, who gazed at you with desire in his eyes. Your legs were spread wide, draped over his shoulders as he knelt before you, his hands trailing over your skin with a gentle touch.

As you held your wish book in your hand, Mingyu's voice broke through the silence, his tone teasing yet filled with curiosity. "So, what's your first wish?" he asked, his eyes locked on yours.

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, embarrassment flooding through you at the thought of revealing your innermost desires. But with Mingyu's gaze burning into you, you couldn't hold back.

"I... I wished for a guy who could make me cum on his tongue," you stuttered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Mingyu's eyes darkened with desire at your words, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. 

As Mingyu's tongue licked a slow, deliberate stripe along your folds, a shiver of pleasure shot through your body, leaving you trembling. You gripped the wish book tightly in one hand, your nails digging into the pages as Mingyu's mouth worked its magic on you. "Oh fuck, Mingyu!" 

With each flick of his tongue against your clit, you felt yourself unraveling. His arms wrapped around you, holding you steady as you writhed and moaned, unable to control the flood of pleasure coursing through you.

Your other hand tangled in Mingyu's locks, pulling him closer as he continued to devour your pussy. His tongue swirled around your bud, sending waves of pleasure crashing over you in relentless waves.

You moaned his name over and over, the sound filling the air as Mingyu's tongue drove you closer and closer to the edge. You felt yourself dripping with arousal, the combination of Mingyu's saliva and your own juices coating the couch beneath you.

As Mingyu's tongue penetrated slightly into your pussy, a gasp escaped your lips, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure coursing through your body. You looked at him with wide eyes, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you struggled to form coherent words.

"What... what are you doing?" you managed to gasp out, your voice laced with desire and anticipation.

But before you could even finish your question, Mingyu's tongue penetrated you again, sending a shock shooting through your body. Your legs shook on his arms, your whole body trembling with need.

"Oh Mingyu, that feels so good" you moaned, your voice filled with a mixture of pleasure and desperation.

Mingyu's lips curled into a wicked grin as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue, his movements becoming faster. He sucked on your clit, flicking it with his tongue before diving deep inside you once again, driving you to the brink of orgasm with each tantalizing stroke.

As you held onto Mingyu's locks tighter, he moaned in response, the vibrations sending a surge of pleasure on your pussy. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge of your orgasm, your body trembling pathetically.

"I'm... I'm cumming," you gasped, your voice strained with the effort of holding back your release.

Mingyu looked up at you, his eyes dark as he asked, "Are you going to cum on my tongue, just like you wished for?"

You nodded desperately, your whole body tensing with anticipation as you felt the waves of pleasure building inside you. The wishbook slipped from your grasp, completely forgotten as Mingyu's tongue continued to lap your clit.

"Yes," you moaned, your voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, just like that."

And with a final flick of his tongue against your clit, Mingyu pushed you over the edge, making you come undone, riding his face to ride your orgasm, your mind clouded with the intensity of your orgasm.

As Mingyu got up, holding the forgotten wishbook in his hands, he turned to you with a curious expression. "Let's see what your next wish is," he said, his voice tinged with excitement.

Your hands, still trembling from the recent orgasm, reached out to take the wishbook from him. You flipped through the pages until you found the next wish, your heart racing.

And as you read the words on the page, your cheeks flushed with heat at the explicit nature of the wish. It was about a guy who didn't go easy on you, who took control and pushed you to your limits.

You looked up at Mingyu, your eyes filled with apprehension. "Is... is this something you can do?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Mingyu's lips curled into a wicked grin as he met your gaze. "I can do whatever you want," he replied.

As Mingyu lowered his pants, revealing his big, throbbing cock, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. It was something you had written in your wishbook — a cock that fulfills you — but you hadn't expected it to be quite so... big.

His cock laid heavy in his hand as he stroked himself, the slick sound of precum making itself known with each movement. You felt your cheeks flush red as you watched.

"It... it won't fit," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper as you met Mingyu's gaze.

Mingyu chuckled softly, "Don't worry," he reassured you. "I'll make it fit."

As Mingyu laid you down comfortably, spreading you wider, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. His cock slid against your pussy, teasing but not yet penetrating, and you squirmed beneath him, feeling yourself growing wetter.

You almost covered your face in shame, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his intense gaze. But Mingyu's teasing words only served to fuel the fire burning within you.

"That's all you wanted, isn't it?" he teased, his voice laced with desire as he looked into your eyes. "A guy with a big cock to fuck your brains out? Well, lucky for you, I'm here, hm?"

His words sent a thrill of excitement coursing through you, and you couldn't help but arch your hips, silently urging him to take you.

You wanted nothing more than to feel him deep inside you, filling you completely and making you cum. 

As Mingyu continued to tease you, he remarked on your hectic work schedule. "You work so hard," he murmured, his voice low and seductive. "You need someone to take all that stress out of you."

His words hit home, resonating with the part of you that longed for release, both physically and emotionally.

You couldn't deny the truth in his words; after all, you had spent so long shouldering the weight of your responsibilities alone.

As Mingyu's cock teased against your clit, the friction making you roll your eyes, you felt yourself teetering on the edge of ecstasy. Every movement, every touch drove you closer and closer to the brink, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of it all.

And just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, when you felt yourself on the verge of exploding with pleasure, Mingyu slammed his hard cock inside of your cunt with a force that took your breath away. Your pussy stretched around him, so tight and so full, that you could barely contain the overwhelming sensation.

As you arched your back in pleasure, the sensation of Mingyu's cock buried deep inside you driving you to new heights of ecstasy, he teased you mercilessly.

"I'm still," he murmured between moans "You're almost cumming."

Your pussy clenched around him with each tantalizing movement. Mingyu's cock felt impossibly hard and thick inside you, stretching you to your limits as he held himself still, savoring the exquisite torture of denying you release.

He put your knees on your chest and started pounding inside of you, hitting that spongy spot dead-on with the first thrust. You screamed in your living room, rolling your eyes back as you tremble.

No mercy, just like you wanted.

Mingyu looked at your pleasured face, making sure he was hitting all the right spots to drive you wild. And judging by the way you were moaning and writhing beneath him, he was definitely doing something right.

"You're so wet for me," his voice dripped with lust. "You can't get enough of my cock, can you? You want me to fuck you harder, hm?"

You nodded eagerly, unable to form words.

As Mingyu pounded into you harder, your body tensed, your abdomen trembling as you felt the orgasm approaching. He bit his lip, holding back his moans as your walls spasmed around him, indicating your impending climax.

You gripped the couch tightly, your nails digging into the fabric as pleasure washed over you. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed to relieve the overwhelming sensation building inside you.

And then it hit you, you came, hard and fast, your orgasm ripping through you as you spasmed uncontrollably beneath Mingyu.

You came on him, on the couch, on his cock, unable to contain the pleasure coursing through you. And as Mingyu watched you cumming in a matter of minutes, a proud moan escaped his lips, his eyes filled with satisfaction at having brought you so much pleasure.

As Mingyu held your legs to the sides, spreading you open and angling his cock in a way that his pelvis rubbed against your clit, you squirmed helplessly beneath him. Every movement sent jolts of oversensitivity coursing through your body, and you cried out in pleasure and desperation.

But Mingyu held firm, his gaze locked with yours as he reminded you of your wish for him not to take it easy on you. "You wanted this," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "You wanted me to push you to your limits."

You whimpered in response, the sensation of his cock rubbing against your clit driving you to the brink of insanity. "I can't take it," you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't take it anymore."

But Mingyu only moaned in response, his hips moving in a relentless rhythm as he continued to tease and torment you. "You'll need to take it," he whispered, and you moan satisfied that he didn't stopped.

"Just a little more," he urged, his voice filled with desperation. "You're almost there, baby. Just hold on..."

As you held Mingyu's neck, drawing him closer to you for another kiss, you found yourself lost in the intoxicating sensation of his lips against yours. But with each moan that escaped your lips, it became increasingly difficult to maintain the kiss, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body making it impossible to focus on anything else.

Mingyu noticed your struggle, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he watched you writhe beneath him. His face contorted in pleasure, mirroring the ecstasy written all over yours, as your walls pulsed and contracted around him with each thrust.

As you trembled beneath Mingyu, tears slipping from your eyes, he kissed your face gently, his lips tracing a path of comfort and reassurance.

"I'm cumming for you," he murmured, his voice soothing and gentle as he tried to calm your racing heart.

But your chest rose and fell in erratic waves, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you closed your eyes tightly, desperate to hold on just a little longer. And then it happened, a silent moan escaping your lips as your body tensed and your pleasure blinded all of your senses.

You came again, your orgasm ripping through you with a force that left you gasping for air, your entire body trembling with the intensity of it all. And as Mingyu watched in awe, unable to hold back his own release any longer, he let out a surprised moan of pleasure, his own orgasm crashing over him.

As Mingyu's warm cum filled your cunt, mingling with your own juices, you let out a contented sigh, feeling completely spent and satisfied.

Feeling utterly relaxed, you laid your head back on the couch, letting out a deep breath as you allowed yourself to bask in the afterglow of your orgasm. The tension in your neck melted away as you finally allowed yourself to relax.

"You okay?" he asked softly, his voice filled with concern as he looked down at you.

You nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, I'm good," you replied, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you.

Mingyu leaned in closer, his eyes searching yours as he spoke. "That was... so good," he said, his voice filled with awe. "I've never felt anything like that before."

You chuckled softly, feeling a sense of pride swell within you. "Yeah, me neither," you admitted, feeling a warm glow of satisfaction spread through your body.

You chuckled softly, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his words. "Who knew that silly wishbook would actually work?" you remarked, shaking your head in disbelief.

Mingyu leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "Well, I'm here now, and I don't plan on going anywhere," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

[ouroborosorder]

Arknights VFX question: Any highlights or personal favourites as far as the "Stick a whole background/huge jpeg in there behind the character" category of skills goes?

Oh I like this question. This made me consider things I've never looked at before, so thank you for that. I had to do research.

So, there's not a lot of ops like this, and shockingly, I don't have many positive things to say about them. BUT I did find a few interesting highlights I think are worth discussing.

First off, I will leave Eine Variation out of this, as I have made my thoughts on that Thing very clear.

But, my favorite skin in the game actually does indeed have the Background.Jpeg - Specter's As One!

Aaaand it's easily the worst part of my favorite skin. Don't get me wrong, i think it's probably one of the better executions of the idea, since it's like, a skybox, it matches the pallette, matches the artstyle of the skin, it's almost perfect. I wish it was a LITTLE less static, maybe have some distortion ripples across it like waves to keep the stars moving, or maybe have them twinkle a bit or something. But it's fine. But a good effect isn't everything.

Effects relies heavily on the principles of animation, too. Appeal, weight, color, and most importantly of all - timing. Having a proper lead in can make a bad effect good, and having a bad lead-in can make a good effect fucking terrible. And having no lead-in at all will absolutely fuck your effect and make it super clear that you took a jpeg from the skin art and superimposed it behind your operator.

Here. Look at the picture above. Now, I am going to tab back literally just one single frame in the animation and...

oh ...there's no fade in at all. It just literally appears in a single frame. It draws way more attention to itself than it needs to just by virtue of literally popping in. It's SUPER obvious that it's just Skybox.jpeg. If it faded in with some sort of noise mask (which takes literally less than 2 minutes to make,) it would be so so so much better. Again, this is my favorite skin in the game, and I already think S3 is quite beautiful, so this is nitpicking, but this skybox always bugged me a lot.

Now to say a sentence no one has ever said - going up a step in quality from Specter to Hoederer!

I can't fully get this one in a still image and I'm too tired to record a video / gif so just go with this, alright?

This one is ALMOST GOOD. ALMOST. IT'S SO FUCKING CLOSE. The texture is being distorted by a wavelike noise that is giving it the rippling effect of fire, which is the standard thing to do for making a stylized fire. The problem is that... The texture itself doesn't fucking move? It's just being UV distorted, just a bit of offset to the material and I just AUGH.

It's so so so obvious that it's just a static jpeg of fire that's being waved around like a flag to get it to contort into being fire. This wouldn't bother me if the actual fire texture didn't have implications of movement in the little waves and fades and stuff. I hate it it's so irritating it's so CLOSE. But also, animating an entire fire flipbook would have taken a lot more time, and I can 100% guarantee you the VFX artist is also unhappy with this one. Their A team was probably on Arturia or something. Speak of the devil -

I've had a few people ask how I feel about Arturia's S3 after I expressed my hatred for Eine Variation, and I am here to say - this unambiguously fucking rules, for a few reasons.

First and least importantly, THE MONSTER MOVES. The monster itself has slight movement, you can notice its arms wiggle a little and mouth open and close. This is a small thing that goes a LONG way to make it feel way more dynamic and alive. It's also being distorted by a noise like Hoederer is, which is quite nice as a touch, really helps to make that limited movement feel way more significant than it is.

Second, is that the texture is monochromatic, but in a different way than Arturia is. The grays are colder, harsh blue-grays to contrast Arturia herself, who is a very warm gray. This makes it so that it adds a really nice background that looks like part of her, while also standing out and allowing her to stand out against it. It's a really smart use of monochrome to create visual interest using just different subtle shades of gray.

But that bluish hue also serves to compliment the only color in the effect - the blue light from the cello. Your eyes are naturally drawn to brighter glowing things, which is also the only colored spot on the effect - the cello from which her Arts emerge. As a result, the Beastie.jpg fades out of your attention, becoming monochromatic noise, which, due to being just kinda chaotic and aesthetically dissonant, you interpret more as abstract Shape than anything else. That abstract shape then makes a cone which leads you down into Arturia's center, which is her cello, which is where her Arts are coming from.

This is basically to say - These are very emblematic of what I think makes good effects textures in general. They work best when they're not alone. When these backgrounds are part of a larger whole that's all coming together to make an effect, rather than being the centerpiece of the whole thing. When I notice the background, it's a problem, in my eyes. Maybe people disagree. They keep putting them in skins, and a lot of people thought the Eine Variation goat was cool as hell, so clearly I'm in the wrong here, but hey. Who gives a shit.

I'm sure there's way more examples of this, (actually I know there are,) but I'm extremely tired and need to go the fuck to sleep. If there's any particular backgrounds ya'll want me to take a look at, lemme know and I'll get back to you when I've woken from my dread slumber.

[gayloraura]

i’ve been itching to try and actually figure stuff out in regards to my “take folklore and run with it” thing for a while now, so yesterday i sat down with a blank notebook and started writing in it. the structure is sort of inspired by videos about commonplace books that i’ve watched in the last week or so, but i’m definitely not using it like people typically use commonplace books lol.

i have a “goal” section at the front (after a few pages of blank space for an index), but it’s turned into more of an overview. just stuff about what core characters there are and where they came from, James’ gender (~ambiguous~), what i’ve decided about the town they live in, etc.

then i went through all of betty (the song) and dissected it, basically. starting with a more “swiftie” POV where James and Betty are already in a relationship, he just fully cheated on her, and now he’s begging her to take him back. i got very critical of James here, i understand why swifties hate him so viscerally. to quote myself: (in regards to the second verse) “where it went wrong was when you cheated on her, you prick”.

i decided there was no way i was going with that narrative as it was - James is really painted as an asshole and it would be difficult to find myself wanting them to be together, if i wanted to make a bunch of other songs about them (which is the entire goal of this project, obviously). so i also wrote down my “alternate interpretation”, which more or less the narrative that i originally had in my head when i first heard the song and had no context all. i’m just gonna put everything that i wrote here because this is my favourite part. (with some grammar & vocab edits, because i can properly do that in a digital medium)

James and Betty are in an extremely homoerotic friendship/situationship, and the song is them (mostly James) trying navigate that while also dealing with a homophobic environment.

Inez’s gossip would be more along the lines of “i saw them doing gay stuff with this random girl”.

“the worst thing i ever did” on its own makes me think of some brutal internalized homophobia, but then we get to the second line and it follows up with “was what i did to you”. like it’s been flipped on its head and James knows that it hurt Betty a lot in couple different ways, so they’re saying “it was the worst thing i ever did because it hurt you, not because it was gay”. (i had a bit trouble phrasing that, so hopefully it’s understandable)

the reason James went along with the affair because they were frustrated with the status of the situationship and wanted to get their mind off of Betty. obviously that didn’t work, and they thought about her the entire time. this part is not much different from the vanilla interpretation, but the main difference is that they weren’t official (or even approaching that), so James looks much less like an asshole.

a point i had always been confused about the vanilla interpretation - i might have just been overthinking it, but whatever the case it helps to have an interpretation that makes sense to me. in the bridge, James says he dreams about kissing her (which i always thought kind of sounded like they never had before), but then at the end says “kissing in my car again” (so they have?). i thought it would make sense if in this “alternate” one, they had kissed once (in James’ car), and it made things awkward. maybe shortly before things got weird?

“stupid friends” is an insult to injury for swifties. for me, it means the friends are stupid because they’re homophobic (christians?) like the rest of the school and town (which is great framing for other songs like Love Story). when James says “will you kiss me in front of all your stupid friends”, they’re basically saying “will you care what they think? will you want to be with me out in the open?”. they don’t want to be shoved back into the closet now that they’ve been outed.

lastly, this is more of a nitpick. i’ve always found it strange that a 2 teenagers of the opposite sex would be allowed to spend the night together - i would understand sneaking out (or in?) on occasion, but the song makes it sound like it’s most of the summer. it makes way more sense to me if it was 2 (perceived) girls having sleepovers or something.

[rayssyscourse]

DID is a rare disorder. Except, on tumblr and discord, it isn't for some reason. There are statistically too many people, mostly young teens to early twenties, who have self diagnosed with this disorder. I do not think they are intentionally faking, to be clear. I think that those ages have more turbulent emotions and struggles with identity, and that likely the rampant misinformation being spread online has made them feel connected and seen by the "symptoms" they've read about. Most of you folks would benefit from roleplaying! It really can be therapeutic and it kind of is what y'all are doing anyway, even unintentionally. It's just sad seeing so many people identitying so hard with something that they just do not have. I've already seen people dealing with the embarassment and fallout of having to admit to themselves and others that they do not have alters, or amnesia, or anything like that. None of them were faking on purpose! They really thought they had DID! But they didn't. And neither do the vast majority of people online: it's why there is so much discourse. People cannot agree on what DID is because they are not reporting consistant experiences. No other disorder has discourse this bad online, discussed as if it were a fandom. I just wish this could be talked about more without people getting defensive. It might help some of you youngsters out.

Okay, I've got a lot of thoughts on this. I just want to start this by saying that I think you have some valid concerns and are making some good points, but the delivery is just all over the place and I think it's coming across as trying to make points that you don't intend. So for a while here I'm going to nitpick at your phrasing or comments, but just know that I'm not doing it to be mean or because I think you're totally wrong or whatever; I respect your viewpoint regardless and appreciate you sending it in, and am not trying to frame you as being bad faith or absolutely wrong or whatever. :)

First, to get this out of the way, I don't know if the "you" is supposed to be me or just the community in general, but if it's me, I do not claim to have full-blown DID, because I... don't have it. My psychiatrist, primary care provider, several therapists, and various psych evaluators over the years have confirmed that I a) have dissociation issues, b) have several distinct parts (headmates), and c) have these issues due to trauma, and have chosen not to diagnose me with DID because I do not fit all the criteria. That's about as specific as I'm going to get, but just know that everything I say or claim about myself is because that's what my doctors told me.

One thing I take issue with in this ask is the "you should try roleplaying, it's what you're doing anyway". I don't speak for anyone else, but last I checked, my amnesia, derealization, and cognitive dissonance doesn't really sound like a roleplay to me. It's also just a toxic mindset overall to get yourself in that people with certain issues are "probably just roleplaying". Same with the "arguing like it's a fandom" thing--first of all, syscourse isn't usually confusion about what defines DID, at least right now syscourse is mainly origin-discourse and the relationship of plurality to dissociative disorders. Very few people are arguing about what defines DID, and those who are are usually speculating about a heavily-underresearched disorder and possible causes and effects and stuff. Also, I feel like it's kind of just disrespectful to equate people's real illnesses, struggles, and identities to 'fandom discourse'.

Also, not to "um actually" at you, but the statistics you appear to be referencing are skewed. Yes, DID is a rare disorder. Yes, you will find lots of people talking about it on Tumblr. System communities and adjacent communities will inevitably have rates of dissociative disorders that appear disproportionate when compared to that of the general population because that is what they're there for. People form groups based on shared experiences all the time, thus different communities are going to attract people that share common qualities with their members. This is like going to a clothing store and complaining that there's too many clothes and not enough groceries as compared to the general store down the street. Like, yeah... that's because it's tailored to a more specific group; it's not meant to be representative of the general public.

Another thing is the whole "but what if you end up being wrong?" thing. I get where you're coming from--I have been in a place before where I thought I had a disorder and was then told I didn't have it, and it was genuinely difficult, because I thought I had an important aspect of myself figured out, but it turned out that I didn't. Self-discovery and identity are hard things, and you are absolutely right that the teens and early-twenties are the most turbulent time for developing one's identity. This is why I discourage jumping to conclusions about one's mental health or identity--and a lot of people in this community do the same. I don't think it's wrong to self-diagnose because self-diagnosis is the first step in a hell of a lot of actual diagnoses, and there's a million reasons why someone might not want or be able to access the medical care required to get a diagnosis. Obviously, it requires immense research and understanding, and personally I think it's harmful to self-diagnose with zero intention of ever seeking help, etc. And yes, people can be wrong, and it can be hard to admit that. But that's true of literally everything. It doesn't seem right or fair to me to immediately shoot down people who think they might have a legitimate illness "in case they might be wrong and feel bad about it". Furthermore, whether you like it or not, we kind of have to take people at their word when they tell us what they're experiencing. If they say they're experiencing plurality, who are we to tell them "no you're not"?

All that said, you do have a point that online spaces and unqualified people spreading misinfo can be very damaging to people and make them more confused, not less, about their identities. But I think the question we're asking shouldn't be "how can we stop this", it should be "how can we help these people?". Diagnosed or not, disorder or not, plural or not, we should support people when they say they are experiencing something confusing or difficult.

That's not to say that I think you don't want to support people; from the way your ask was worded at least, I don't think you're arguing from bad faith or malicious intent. But I do think a lot of your points are misguided.

Regardless, thank you for the ask, and I hope you have a lovely day! <3

[ghost-town-story]

(And now that I've actually spent the whole day listening to Neverbloom on and off, have some "Everybody Lives AU" Falcon and Kestrel)

His apartment felt too empty.

It was stupid, it wasn't even something he should have noticed, considering Kess had their own place with all their stuff, and if anywhere should feel empty it was there, but--

Falcon walked into his apartment, and the fucking absence hit him like a goddamn truck, left him feeling like he'd taken a familiar leap and landed wrong. It made him want to turn around and track down the furthest bottle of whiskey just to fucking forget.

He gritted his teeth and closed the door behind him. He'd always known he was going to have to live with this. Running away would only bring temporary relief.

And it really was stupid that he was feeling their absence so keenly in his own damn space. Nothing was out of place, nothing was even theirs except for the single flower in its vase on the coffee table, a bird of paradise flower as a joke between two birds of prey--

Falcon froze. Except he'd thrown out every last flower the night Kestrel had gone nova.

Fabric rustled a few feet away, and before he could even think Falcon had his gun loaded and aimed at the intruder.

Kestrel raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door frame to his bedroom like they had every right to be there. “’Sup.”

Falcon's breath hissed through his teeth, his aim never wavering.

Kestrel blinked slowly at him, their dark eyes silvered but yet still so familiar. “You asked me what being a Nova was like, once,” they said. “I told you it felt like drowning and tasted like bitter almonds. You said that’s what cyanide tastes like, and you’ve never told me how the fuck you know that.”

“Fuck,” Falcon hissed, and he tossed his gun aside and crossed the room to pin Kestrel against the wall to kiss them. There were so many questions running through his head, but all that really seemed to matter was Kestrel's startled, breathless laugh against his mouth and that goddamned taste of their cyanide magic on his tongue again.

Finally though, he had to breathe, and reluctantly knew he needed some answers. “Anybody else know?”

Kestrel shook their head. “Came here first.”

“Good.” Falcon couldn’t help himself and kissed them again. “I--” His thoughts jumbled together, refusing to leave his mouth. Or just knowing there were better things he could be doing instead of parroting the inane questions that Boss and everybody else would inevitably ask.

“Falcon.” Kestrel caught one of his hands, steadying its trembling, making him aware of just how badly he was shaking.

“Good,” Falcon repeated. “Fuck ‘em. Leave that shit show for tomorrow. You’re not leaving.”

“No I’m not,” Kestrel agreed easily. “Not tonight. Never again.”

The words were nothing more than pretty, empty promises considering their line of work, but Falcon wasn't in any mood to nitpick. Not when Kestrel was here when they should be dead, and he could have died but didn't, and he would rather taste the cyanide on their tongue than anything else.

Everything else could come later, now that they had all the time in the world.

[jigensass]

So I have done nothing but play Like a Dragon Gaiden for the last…16 hours.

And here are my thoughts so far.

SEMI-SPOILERS AHEAD. I’m currently somewhere in chapter 2 out of I do not know how many and I do not know how RGG managed to crank this out in six months.

I just got to point of unlocking sub-stories for a frame of reference of how far I am in.

Yes, I heard this was supposed to be DLC (for what I assume was Yakuza 7 seeing as the story starts in Yokohama and the story crosses over with it for a mere moment), but eventually turned it into an entire two-part game.

I personally have nothing to be impressed about it. This is a standard game in the Yakuza/LAD series. You do not have to impress or disappoint me. Yakuza 6 already was the worst disappointment to the series alongside Kiwami 2, so the bar was low for this.

Okay, the graphics have impressed me a bit.

The fucking car graphics went so hard in that opening scene.

I will say the fighting mechanics have improved and it seems that either this DLC was supposed to be the groundwork for Lost Judgement’s combat or the other way around, the main mechanic of switching between two different fighting style where one is quick and used to get rid of a lot of enemies and the other is used to take on single enemies is nothing new.

The spy mechanics are a bit clunky to pull off because I always have difficulty doing so in the way I want to use them because another new thing I noticed is that the AI for the fighting is somewhat more competent (I’m playing on normal) and will dogpile you given the opportunity. They also like to spam the block button thank god they gave Joryu a block breaker early on. (This is my first major nitpick)

I have ran into a few bugs, just some small clips and weird physics, but nothing like 6 or Kiwami 2 had where dead men jettisoned into space which is good.

And then I got to this part and I felt unsettled.

Like…why? For reasons of game mechanics just why. I’m 100% certain they managed to sneak a porn star into one of these scenarios. Just like how they used porn stars as VAs for the cabaret girls in Yakuza 0.

But then Kiryu says this

Personally I think Joryu is pulling a reverse 4th wall break and trying to get with real life waifus instead of those fake ones. This means Joryu is fully sentient of the world he is in is not real.

I do want to gloat right now I am currently in the 0.4% of the game’s population who has both cabaret achievements.

Also HOW CAN RYUJI AND MINE DIE ON SCREEN BUT IT HAS BEEN THIRTY ONE YEARS SINCE MAJIMA ENCOUNTERED THIS OLD WOMAN AND SHE HAD YET TO KICK THE BUCKET

I swear she is immortal.

The biggest major complaint I have right know is why do power ups have to be spent using both money AND the special points from the Akame missions? Why not just ONE?!

I know for some reason Joryu literally punches dudes for money in this game but tacking the Akame points on as a necessity to do side content is…unlike RGG. Side content is side content for a reason. The completion list was not a shock or a groan for me, the groan came when if I wanted to grind, then I actively had to interact with that list, which because of this some of the feats on the list are manageable and easy to obtain, or the objective is easy to manage.

I understand if you just casually do it, but so far I feel the Akame stuff should have been saved for a later chapter (you know, like how Yakuza 0 did it?) so the real story could settle in and get players invested?

Spoilers Ryuji is not alive he is very dead the Ryuji in the ring is a fake he had me fooled too for a hot second.

[kuwdora]

part 5: do it for the process - a naked vid draft: What (Yennefer of Vengerberg)

Part 1: introduction and verse 1 Part 2: verse 3 Part 3: verse 1 and chorus 1 - fleshed out Part 4: verse 2 and chorus 2 - getting it down

Some vids I rework entire passages with completely different clips or ideas, but some vids--like this one--I'm only reworking the timing of of my editing. How clips land on the beats or the internal motion moves with the lyrics. Even when I toss vid drafts out to my friends, people might be able to feel or sense these drafts are different from one another, depending on how often they engage with vids. But sometimes you can't really "see it." I'm not always able to see it in my own friends vid drafts, too! It can be such small things. Let me show you an example! Here I was nitpicking a musical transition between chorus 1 and verse 2. We have Truth Hurts singing the chorus and how it segues into Eve with her hard, sharp lyrics. I've put my drafts side-by-side for your reference. This was the majority of my work as I made a second pass over the entire vid, just removing a little a few shots and nudging things by a dozen frames until it started feeling seamless. 0:33 - 0:42

In the first draft I had an extra shot of Yen with Stregobor's mindfuck and her walking away from Cahir's cell. While the timing of these shots wasn't horrible, it still didn't feel as smooth as I'd like with how Eve's lyrics worked. So I took out the Stregobor stuff because I wanted to more Cahir because verse 2 had more Yen and Cahir. I went back and I was listening over and over to the way the chorus's background music shifts subtly to make way for Eve's lyrics. So the major difference is how Cahir is pushed onto the chopping block with Eve's lyrics. When I watched the vid with verse 1 and chorus 1 leading into this verse?? I made my heart go !!!!! - that's when I know I hit the jackpot. But yeah, I really wanted to emphasize the abrupt end-stops Eve's delivery of those lines at the start of the second verse. It was absolutely worth time I spent on it. And again MY FAVORITE: "oh shit" lyric. Cahir's !!!!!!!! expression. Too perfect.

So vid is prettyyyyy much put together and it's just a matter of rewatching the whole thing a million times, messing with the timing of these clips, and doing color correction. It's been horribly grey and overcast where I live so I haven't really had a good chance to do decent color correcting yet. But I'll get there. ❤️ vidding ❤️ 🦄 Yennefer 🦄 Part 6: The complete vid! Final'sh versoin! kuwdrafta_what031923-06-finalish.mp4

[missingmark]

― old habits die hard pt.1

Despite feeling your old crush on Matt return, you still offer to help him with his nail-biting problem. Old habits die hard, you guess.

‧₊˚ matt x fem!reader

‧₊˚ warnings: it's mentioned that the reader has painted nails & wore a dress to prom, slight angst, reader thinks she has a one-sided crush

‧₊˚ word count: 1.2k

‧₊˚ masterlist - (part 1.5) | part 2 | part 3

You liked to think that moments like this were reserved just for you and Matt alone. The soft blankets covering your bodies on his bed, a movie running in the back that you had both forgotten about, and your full attention on him.

His voice was calm and barely above a whisper as he rambled on about the video they filmed just a few hours prior.

When they had come back from filming, you were still sound asleep on Matt's bed. An abandoned homework still opened on your laptop as the yelling and laughing of the brothers announced them back home.

You got up to greet them and watched their faces light up at the sight of you still being here, nick quickly running over to you to give you a side hug before dashing past you to bring you something from his room while Chris walked past u towards the kitchen, giving you a quick peck on the side of your head as his form of acknowledgement

Matt's way of greeting you had always been a bit different, though.

You watched his shoulders relax at the sight of you, he let out a sigh that sounded tired but in a way that told you he was just exhausted from doing something he enjoyed putting his energy to.

His hand would find themselves slowly pulling at the material of your sweater into his arms. His face buried into your neck as he sought out the much awaited peave and comfort he could only find in your arms.

You hugged him back just as tight.

"Okay, you two. Get a room," Nick mumbled as he came back downstairs, an object in bus hand that you couldn't quite make out due to some of Matt's locks still blocking your view.

Much to his dismay, Nick peeled his brother off of you, pushing you towards the couch to show you what he had found.

"No way," you giggled, delicately takiny the framed photo that Nick wanted to show you from him.

You remembered that night so clearly, tracking your fingers over the picture you could almost feel the satin material of the dress you had worn that night. You're smiling, the genuine joy radiating off of your face too strong for you to try and nitpick a flaw of you.

You thought back to the dreadful day at the mall you and the triplets had spent months earlier to pick that dress. The way you instantly decided on the one that Matt seemed to have liked the most. His eyes lingering on the straps to the cut of it before finding their way back to your face, giving you a shy smile.

That picture was taken just minutes after he had first seen you wear it.

"You look beautiful," he said.

You smiled at the memory, giggling inside as you remembered your old crush on Matt.

"Look at the big ass zit Chris had that day," Matt pointed out, pulling you out of your thoughts and taking the picture from your hands.

"You shut up with that haircut, I don't wanna hear a thing from you," Chris mumbled.

"You gonna sleep in my room tonight? We can watch that movie we didn't fin-"

"No, all their stuffs already in my room also your room reeks," Matt protested, taking both you and the framed picture with him.

Nick, for once, didn't try to argue, knowing he wouldn't win when it came to you.

―

When the two of you were laying in bed, Matt had a tendency to start talking about anything that came to mind, occasionally he'd glance at you, making sure you were still paying attention to which you would give his hand an appreciative squeeze. After filming all day with his brothers, you knew Matt needed you to just give him your undevided attention, letting him speak freely without any interruption.

Until you started to hear his words turn into an incoherent mumble, the sound of biting making your head shoot up to look at him.

"Hey!" You spoke up for the first time in a while, slapping his hand away from his mouth and giving him a scolding look.

Matt had always asked you to stop him if you ever caught him biting his nails and despite your much appreciated effort, his habit didn't seem to fade.

"Im sorry," he apologized, the genuine guilt written on his face pulled at your heart strings.

"Don't be sorry," you murmured, "it's not your fault, 'kay?"

"I know, it's just," he leaned his head back a bit, a low groan escaping him, "I don't know, it doesn't bother me in itself, it bothers me more that I can't stop."

You understood. Sitting up a bit, you turned towards him.

"Hey, don't be upset, you just have to find something to do instead of biting your nails, you know? Like every time you get the urge to bite them, you can just play with my nails instead."

He hesitated, but reached for your hand nonetheless. You had just recently gotten your nails done and even when the two of you were still in school he had always had a strange fascination with them.

"...can I bite them?" He mumbled.

"I'd rather you wouldn't," you replied, skeptically.

"Can I rip-" he started to play with the edge of your long nails.

"Noooo," you protested again, pulling your hand away and shielding it with your other in front of your chest.

He smiled apologetically.

"Okay, okay, I was just kidding. C'mon, give it back."

He reached for your hand again, this time carefully tracing the glossy lair of nail polish with his thumb while the rest of his fingers held your hand up in his.

"You better not make me regret this, Matt. If you rip off one of my nails, I'll shave your head."

He ignored your threat, at this point way too entranced by you, the form of your fingers and the softness of your skin. The texture of the design felt fun under his fingertips, and he traced it almost subconsciously.

There was something weird and familiar bubbling up in your chest at the sight of him treating you so delicately. He looked up at you, a grateful smile graced his features as he leaned back down, placed your hand on his, and continued to trace your fingers with his others.

His eyes were back on the movie, leaving you to stare at his side profile with a thousand thoughts running through your head all at once.

At first, you felt warm, giddy, your stomach turning and your cheeks reddening and then an indescribable cold shiver, and the urge to scream into a pillow bubbled up inside you.

The TV illuminated his side profile, the small smile he had while watching. The way your hand seemed to fit so perfectly in his.

"Not this again," you scolded as his fingers tried to rip at one of your nails again.

He just smiled a bit, a slight hint of mischief behind his eyes.

"Don't be scared, I would never hurt you, would I?" He grinned.

You sighed. You were going to hold him to those words.

I wrote this in a daze 😨😨😨 anyway part two coming out soon (someone teach me how to write one shots I can't be controlled)

Next part will be in Matt's pov btw maybe? Who knows. But I have an idea where I want this to go. I think.

Anyway

Hope you enjoyed, luv u <3

[rosecaffelatte]

it’s the little things | yamagata hayato

plot: it’s been a few years since you’ve entered adult life and… work is tough. but you manage, kinda. still, you can’t wait for your weekly date with your long-term partner hayato at your special place. however, you watch him doing some weird stuff… well, time to find out!

genre: timeskip au, established relationship, domestic au | fluff, hurt/comfort | yamagata x gn!reader

cast: yamagata hayato, you, shirofuku yukie

word count: 4k

warnings: swearing, food mention

hikki’s notes: this is for the open underrated characters collab! also, an himym clip about fries was the inspiration for this haha

“Hirosedori~ Hirosedori~”

Hm? Wait, is that…?

You quickly snap out of your after-work fatigue and soon realize, That’s my stop!

Just in time, you niftily stumble out of the metro. You can feel your heart racing, the pulse in your head doesn’t help your mild headache. As you try to calm down from your workout session for the week, the doors behind you are beeping.

Well, that was something.

As you attempt to fix your appearance, the metro picks up speed and soon leaves you with windswept hair. You let out a small sigh. But before you can drown yourself in self-pity, your phone rescues you. You can feel the corners of your mouth go slightly up as you read the message from Hayato.

Ready for our romantic date? Be there in 15 minutes!

Leave it to your long-term boyfriend to cheer you up without even knowing you’re feeling down. One look on the clock tells you that you’re a bit early.

No wonder. You basically sprinted out of your office but honestly, who can blame you? Today hasn’t been a great day. Actually, the whole week has been – to put it mildly – very shitty, especially since your co-worker Yukie has switched to working only part-time.

-✧-✧-✧-

two days ago

“As if she knows what she’s supposed to look for! She’s just lounging around in her mansion, scrolling through IG the whole day, chilling on daddy’s money!” Yukie cursed while you grimly nodded your head in agreement.

Apparently, the current owner of your company got bored with resting her sweet bum on the piles of money and decided to pay her inherited companies a visit like she always does for the last six years. It has become an annual tradition at this point.

“Have you seen our supervisor? I have never seen someone so desperate for a promotion!” you growled.

“I’m pretty sure that little brat doesn’t even have the authority to promote anyone,” Yukie agreed. You couldn’t help but smirk. Never in your life had you seen someone roll their eyes that... loudly. Also, bless this lady for spending lunch break together with you, unpaid, one might have to note.

The owner announced her arrival last Friday but didn’t specify when she’d arrive. Since then, it has been a living hell for your department. Thank your supervisor, who’s nitpicking at everything you and your colleagues do. Getting shooed around for no reason when it hinders you from getting actual work done sounds more straining than it first does. Also, who are you putting on a play for?

“Right?! She’s not even here yet, so why all the trouble now?!” While you angrily took a bite from your banana and Yukie watched you in amusement by how irritated you chewed your fruit, both of you didn’t notice the other person walking into the break room.

“Since you have time for a friendly chat, why not grab a cleaning bottle and a towel to clean the office, huh?” your supervisor hissed from behind you. “And you, Shirofuku-san,” he shouted while standing in the door frame, “why are you still here? Your shift ended 30 minutes ago. Grab your lunch and leave.” And with that, he turned back to your co-workers.

Oh, if looks could kill... The only thing that made you feel some joy that day was when Yukie was parroting your supervisor when he walked out, shadowboxing in his direction and pretending to smash her glass bottle on his head.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ

“Fuck this dude! Just lick the bottom of her shoes while you’re at it, man!” Yamagata cursed. “You did not go to college to waste your skills on cleaning duties! And then he still expects you to hand in today’s workload tomorrow?!” He was pacing restlessly up and down in your shared apartment.

Unfortunately, you had to bring your work home that day. The thought of staying at the office until midnight didn’t necessarily impress you. Surprisingly, you still found the energy to complain about your current work situation to Hayato, who has been your best hype man ever since you got together. You love how attentively he listens to your stories and asks questions, so you can talk smack together. This is not limited to just your office stories.

As he was lividly walking the living room up and down, you rest your head in your propped-up arms on the dining table as you calmly watched your beloved boyfriend getting increasingly angrier at someone he has never met in his life before.

-✧-✧-✧-

Just a five-minute walk from the metro station to “the birthplace of true love” as Hayato always says. You guessed it, the place where Yamagata took you out on your very first date.

“I better get going. Maybe I can get a table for us.”

Before you knew it, you’re in the middle of the hustle and bustle in the shopping street. It’s full of university students, middle and high school kids who want to celebrate the beginning of their free time with some cheap street food with their friends. As you walk down the street, you notice several groups of adults accumulating in front of bars.

Just the thought of having to attend these voluntary-but-actually-mandatory drinking parties already triggers your migraine. The last thing you’d want to do is hang around people you already see +50 hours a week, but it’s not like you have a choice. Either you are part of the team or you’ll become an outcast who apparently hates spending time with their colleagues. Unlike school, you cannot escape them after a few years. This is where you’ve settled.

Of course, you could change workplaces with your academic background, no problem. But who says the pay will as okay as it is now? Who says that you will get a job in your area which doesn’t require you to move away? Who says that your long-term boyfriend will tag along with you? This is adult life. You cannot run away. Making compromises and trying to make the best out of your situation is the reality.

Life is not a picnic.

Stop pitying yourself. This is what the majority of the workforce goes through and they handle it perfectly fine. Stop bitching.

Still, you can’t help but think that there’s absolutely nothing that can cheer you up for the week.

You are so deep in thought that you almost missed the restaurant. Only the yellow and bright red neon light from the sign told you to stop in your tracks.

It’s a McDonald’s.

Yes, you read correctly. A fast-food chain where you wouldn’t quite expect a professional athlete to dine. You’d think they’d avoid junk food at all costs, but it seems like you need to consume lots of calories after your workout so your body has enough bla bla bla. Okay, to be honest, you don’t even know what the hell a protein is, no matter how often Hayato explains it. And yet, he always asks for your opinion on his sports career as if you knew if his new training plan is hard enough to develop enough muscles.

Don’t act all innocent though, it’s not like you don’t do that either. He’s trying his best to give you thoughtful answers whenever you ask him about how you should proceed with upcoming projects at your workplace like he has the required knowledge to give a real judgment.

“Doesn’t Shirofuku know more in this field? Maybe you can split up the work, save more time like that.”

“Thought so too, but she works part-time now...”

To some, it might seem like unnecessarily wasting your time but there’s more behind that. It’s not really about the feedback but rather you let the other one know what’s happening in your life and what has been on your mind lately. It doesn’t matter if Hayato knows what you’re talking about, it’s that he knows that something is happening in your other part of your life he doesn’t or can’t spend with you.

Having someone lend you a sympathetic ear is sometimes enough than actual advice. That’s why you can always count on him having your back when you’re venting again. Of course, you try to keep it to a healthy amount, but this week has been really… demanding.

It’s hard to find other (and more fun) things to discuss anyways when your full-time job is taking in five out of seven days of your week.

It sure was a rough time adjusting to your new adult life when all you did before was live the irregular life of a uni student. Having two-month long holidays, partying and going out pretty much every week, meeting new people by starting drunk conversations while waiting in line in front of the toilets, going on spontaneous dates in the middle of the night on a Tuesday. But it was time to grow up and your new 9-to-5-life put your relationship with Yamagata to the test. Luckily, your love life is as fulfilling as it was in the beginning.

It’s not about what do you, it’s about with whom you spend your time. If it’s the right person, everything can be fun. Being around each other was already enough to make you feel loved. So, basically, you two still have the same life as before, just a little bit different.

Vacations and off-days were now strategically planned six months ahead…

Wait, wait, wait! What if we split our annual leave in two? Then, we have two nine-day vacations!

“Hayato, I’m impressed.”

“We have one day left right? We’ll take leave on a Monday, have a weekend trip and a chill, tourist-free last day and… babe?”

“Sorry, you kinda turn me on when you have a plan when organizing things.”

…you became grumpy old people when you hear “party” if you can call those “parties”…

“What the hell is the dress code for an adult party?”

“Stop calling it like that! It’s a social gathering for grown-ups to celebrate my co-worker’s birthday. Wear the suit, you look hot in it. Also, did you get something as a gift?”

“Got the 800-Yen-est bottle of wine.”

…you two already found your four friends for life…

“I should really check in with the boys, see how they’re doing. I haven’t talked to Semi or seen Tendou in months.”

“Doesn’t tagging them in memes count as communication and upholding a friendship?”

“You know what, you’re right.”

“That was not what I was going for...”

…and dates, you can make anything a date. Yes, even at your dinner table at home. Simply put on some music or a series as background noise while you’re cooking, light some candles for the romantic mood, just to miss the food that you cooked for three hours with your fork, and splash the sauce everywhere for you two laugh at your miserable attempt to have a romantic candlelight dinner.

“It’s literally pitch-black, I can’t even see your face really,” you laughed while you felt your way to the light switch.

“Don’t you dare turn on the light! I wanna have a romantic candle-light dinner like they always have in the movies!” Yamagata demanded half-seriously while trying to stifle his laugh.

“The flames cast a weird shadow on your face. You look like a creepy figure from a horror movie and I probably look like one too!” you tried to argue, in vain however when you spotted your boyfriend with crossed arms and puffed-up cheeks.

“Romantic. Candle-light dinner. Now!”

Who can be that heartless to reject an angry- and tough-looking adult who is trying to pout his way to get what he wants like a small puppy?

-✧-✧-✧-

Hm, I can’t spot him…

You stop peeking through the glass door and entered the restaurant, taking a final look around the restaurant before going to the register. But as you’re getting in line, you realize who is getting his order from the cashier.

It’s Hayato!

Just as you are about to sneak up to him and poke him in his sides, your instincts tell you to quickly hide behind a pillar. Something’s off. You observe him powerwalk to the table mounted to the wall and quickly place his tray to, uh…

What the…

Hayato is grabbing a handful of curly fries and stuffs his face with them as if he hasn’t eaten for weeks. He honestly looks like a small child that is trying to eat all the forbidden cookies before his parents come home.

Uh, training was hard, I guess?

But this explanation doesn’t sit right for you. Two things are bothering you.

The first “red flag” is you never get curly fries, ever. Secondly, there are already two large straight-cut fries on the tray, the usual order you to get for this special date along with three burgers and chicken nuggets. But back to the elephant in the room. You watch Hayato intently as he finishes the small curly fries in record time but keeps two, count ’em, two curly fries. He throws the paper away and frantically heads to a free table, leaving back a dumbfounded and even more confused you.

What the fuck was that?

You cannot make sense of what just happened, but instead of wracking your brain over his inexplicable move, you make your way over to him.

Let’s find out.

For the second time of the day, you can feel a smile creeping up the more you close the distance between you and your beloved boyfriend. It’s as if your hair didn’t fall off at an alarming rate over the last few days.

He doesn’t seem to notice you. Well, no wonder when he’s intently staring at the food.

“Hey, handsome. Is this seat taken?” you flirtatiously ask but quiet enough, so nobody from the table around you can hear you.

He looks up from the tray, already knowing who it is. His face immediately lights up.

“Not for you,” he answers with a sly grin and wiggles his eyebrows.

He really refined his wiggles over the last few years. You quickly lean over to him for a quick kiss and take the seat on the opposite side.

“Good, you’re here already. I’m starving!” Hayato gushes and immediately digs into the gigantic Double Big Mac.

You just shake your head as you watch him munching down through the layers of pure protein, you think.

Can you imagine how much an athlete eats? You two always have to cook for four even though it’s only you two living together. Oh, don’t assume that Hayato won’t down a blender full of protein drink after dinner. Sometimes, you feel sorry for him when you watch Hayato force himself to drink a mix of milk, bananas, peanut butter, flaxseed oil, and disgusting chocolate-flavored protein powder. But right now, you’re just enjoying the time with him. Sitting down and relaxing has become a luxury you noticed.

“So,” Hayato asks with his mouth half full, “how was work? How’s Shirofuku? Was kiss-ass shooing you around again?”

“Ugh! I don’t even know where to–”

You stop yourself.

Do I really want to talk about work after work on our special date?

“You know what? No. Tell me about your practice match today.”

You make yourself comfortable and lean against the tables with your elbows. The stress has really taken a toll on your hunger, so you start small with the big fries and begin munching on one fry after another.

“Sure. Uh, we played against Tamaden Elephants. There was this tall guy, undercut. I swear I know him from somewhere, I just can’t put my finger on it,” he says and sips at his drink deep in thought. “Anyways. He was really good at...”

As Hayato tells you about his scrimmage, you just nod and make some sounds to show that you’re listening, kinda. You are way too tired and mentally strained to hold a conversation... The only thing you can generate energy for is eating your fries. That’s literally the only thing; you can’t even keep your eyes open.

I’ll just rest them for a little bit. He won’t notice...

And slowly, you drift off to dreamland unnoticed.

You think. You think you did, only because Hayato hasn’t said anything yet. In fact, he’s stopped talking and is now watching you how you’re peacefully dozing off, still shoving French fries in your mouth like on autopilot.

Do I look that stupid? I can see you sleeping in front of me, Hayato thinks to himself and chuckles lightly. Would be a shame if someone would take a photo... whoops.

Hayato has already whipped out his phone and is taking some photos of the beautiful scene that is unfolding right in front of him. After mesmerizing you for a few more moments, he slightly leans forward and pokes you gently in the cheek.

“Wha–?” You startle up and shake your head lightly to wake yourself up. “I– wow. I actually fell asleep.”

Yup, you should have definitely drunk more water over the day as your head pulsates from waking up so fast. It’s going to take a moment until your brain has booted up to its full performance but when was that ever the case?

“Stressful day, huh?” asks Hayato softly as he unwraps his second burger from its wax paper.

In hopes of becoming more awake, you take a few sips from your coke after you let out a frustrated groan.

“Don’t even get me started. My supervisor really took it too far today. Can you guess what he made me do today?!”

You angrily squeeze the drink in your hand. Hayato takes it out of your hand before it explodes in your face. He nods understandingly as he slowly pushes the other batch of fries on your side of the tray. Just what you need, your comfort food. You can always rely on them! Oh, and Hayato too, of course.

“It’s like you’re reading my mind,” you say brightly before you shove one fry after another into you once more. “Where was I? Oh yeah, my shitty supervisor actually made me do the work of my co-worker because he– oh my God! Look!”

You hold up two curly fries and wave them happily in front of Hayato’s face.

“Well, technically, those were in my fries, so–”

“Nu-uh! These are all mine, muahaha!” you quickly interrupt and eat half of your lucky catch.

They’re so fresh that they still make a crunchy sound. Meanwhile, Hayato is just watching you calmly with a grin on his lips, knowing exactly what’s coming next.

“Say ‘ah’!”

you demand and Hayato happily complies. One bite from your personal piranha and it’s gone.

You are still beaming with joy and carefully examine your recent discovery. The one that’s left is not one of those broken pieces you find at the end of the paper bag. It is still intact that has four swirls. Still hot and crunchy.

“Damn, I can’t believe we got so luck–”

Wait a minute.

Well, has it clicked yet?

Shocked by the sudden realization, you jerk your head up to look at Hayato who just stares back at you with furrowed brows. He has no idea what’s going on in your head right now, so excuse his confusion when you go from a shocked expression to a pleading one. The one with big puppy eyes. You look as if you’re about to cry.

“Hayapyon~” you softly coo as you flutter your eyelashes.

“Uh, yeah?” Hayato cautiously responds, still worried that he’ll actually make you cry if he now says the wrong thing.

You, however, crack a huge grin, ready to uncover his little secret.

“Could it be that you planted the curly fries to cheer me up?”

Hayato freezes up, mouth hanging wide open. His eyes are moving frantically around the restaurant, looking desperately for a good excuse. But since he can’t come up with one, you decide to put more salt on the wound.

“I saw you buy curly fries earlier and devour them like a starved animal.”

“Shit, you saw that?!”

He has finally come back to life.

“Yes!” you laugh out loud. “I left work early and caught you just in time. You looked like a chipmunk when you stuffed your face with those fries.”

“Man…,” he lets out a loud sigh and lets him fall back onto the backrest, “that’s supposed to stay a secret. Now I have to come up with something else…”

“Whoa, hold on. Do you always do this when I’m in a bad mood? Well, now that I think about it, we did find curly fries on our last dates quite often…”

You glance over to Hayato who’s trying to avoid eye contact with you. One of the few moments where he gets flustered and not you.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles as he scratches the back of his head, “you are really stressed for the last few days and tried to distract you from work.”

He finally looks up to you, only to see you internally tearing up with big puppy eyes once again.

“Is that why you tried to cook and ordered food in the last few days? Or ran a foam bath with rose petals and candles for me? Or took over the tasks in the household for me?” Imaginary tears come out of your eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey! I do cook from time to time!”

“Eh, it’s more like ‘you wanna cook this recipe but after all these years, you still don’t know how to cook and don’t know what that vegetable is called, so I do all the cooking while you’re waiting for instructions from me after you cut the bell pepper’-ish.”

You quickly walk over to his side and sit down right to him, only to cuddle into his side.

“But I’m still grateful for what you’ve done for me.”

Before he can protest any further, you quickly plant a soft kiss on his lips, causing Hayato to roll his eyes but ultimately admit defeat.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ

a few hours later

“Hey babe, can you call my phone? I can’t find it anywhere.”

“On it.”

Without even looking, you speed-dial his phone and let it ring for a few seconds until you realize that it made it somehow under the pillow you’re sitting on.

”Found it,” you shout.

Surprised but at the same time not, you look up from your book and fish his cell out. As you decline the call, the screen reveals to you his new locking screen.

It’s you.

And you’re not pretty to look at.

It’s you, asleep, clearly sitting in a McDonald’s with your dry ass lips, glazed with a beautiful layer of grease, your mouth slightly agape. Your hair was statically charged for no reason and was visible flying away from your head. The overhead light helped to emphasize that. You’re not even sure if that’s a new grease stain on your chest or if you actually walked around like that in the office the whole day.

You are too disgusted with yourself that you don’t notice your finger still pressing on the screen until– “What the–” –the photo moves. A live photo. Now you can see in full HD how you’re stuffing your face with one fry after another.

”When… When did he– HAYATO!”

He cautiously, almost hesitantly, peaks out of the bathroom and immediately sprints over to you the moment he spots your appalled expression. Out of reflex, you quickly turn around and guard the phone with your body to keep it out of his reach. He doesn’t play around when he tackles you like that.

“You’re not supposed to see it that early!” Hayato yells as he struggles to pry his phone out of your hands.

“Change it immediately! Your teammates will see when you lose your phone again! I look like shit!!”

“No! You look cute as hell!” Hayato vehemently disagrees as he pins you down.

But no matter how much strength you gather, you’re too weak to stand your ground, literally. While you’re struggling for the phone, both of you fall to the ground and are rolling around on the living room floor. Unfortunately, Hayato succeeds, rolls you off from himself, and runs away from you. You, of course, leap to your feet and chase him through the flat.

“Give it back!”

“Neveeeer!”

[lucemferto]

Someone left a very good comment under my video on Technoblade (link) and I thought I’d post it and the reply here, so that more people could see it.

My response under the cut

I was in the middle of editing the next video and in comes you with all of your good points that I want to respond to, how dare you!

Not, but seriously, thank you for your comment! I’m going through your points in order.

1) You bring up a good point about Techno’s retirement and his choice to try and remain non-violent throughout it. The reason why that didn’t register with me so much as character development is because – from the perspective of someone who hasn’t watched every stream and only kept up through clips and compilations – the change felt very … uneven. I don’t know, if there was like a character journey or some-sort of soliloquy or something like that, but to a viewer like me, it didn’t pick up. It felt like they knew what they wanted to do with the Butcher Army and didn’t give too much thought as to how he got from End of Season 1 à Beginning of Season 2.

But honestly, that’s a minor nitpick, there’s worse cases of character inconsistency on the server, so it’s not something I would hold against him.

But this kinda ties into a bigger point, that I feel like I didn’t articulate well enough in the video: My problem with Techno’s worldview being reaffirmed has less to do with anarchy being good, but more that Techno’s disproportionate use of violence is shown to be the effective and ultimately “right (?)” way to go about it.

Like, it would have been really nice – also from an emotional conflict point of view – to have Techno seriously struggle with whether he should return to his violent ways, even after the Butcher Army event. Frame it like a tragedy, where the viewer is aware that this isn’t healthy for Technoblade – an ultimately self-destructive spiral that betrays what he came to learn about violence during his retirement.

But that’s not how it plays out – instead it serves 2 narrative purposes: 1) facilitate cool team-ups like Techno & Tommy and later Techno & Dream and 2) evoke classic action tropes ala John Wick and 80’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. There’s no time to reflect or to gather himself, to pick himself up from his lowest point – instead he immediately unveils his vault full of withers like he’s Morpheus from the Matrix. It’s pure power fantasy at that point – and with the Butcher Army posing frankly no threat at all, the stakes for Techno couldn’t be lower.

 2) This one is complicated, in my opinion, because I still believe that through framing and allusion, L’Manburg, in Season 1 in the very least, is positioned as a Symbol of Good. It represents freedom from Dream’s oppression and the framing of stuff like Tommy’s last speech around the L’Mantree definitely communicates on an extradiegetic level that L’Manburg is meant to be seen as good.

But you’re right, that – even during Season 1 – there are points where we are shown the dark sides of the nation. What I’m unsure of is how much of that is intentional use of grey morality and how much of it is funny bits from early on, when the writing hadn’t yet solidified the themes it was trying to communicate.

In Season 2 though, your guess is as good as mine. It’s just very … difficult to pin down at what shade of grey L’Manburg is operating or rather how we, the viewers, are supposed to perceive them. Like, the reason why the Butcher Army event sticks out so badly in my mind is that there’s so little build-up to it – from the perspective of Tubbo’s and Fundy’s character (Quackity is a … special case). They’re just suddenly so cartoonishly corrupt – which, I need to emphasize, I’m not against having a Tubbo Corruption- or Villain-Arc. I would be very here for it. But during Tommy’s exile, when they had ample time to build up Tubbo going down a dark path – which would have been especially cool if they had involved Phil in that – they didn’t take it. Tubbo’s just spinning his wheels and then – BOOM – he evil, corrupt government. For me, it just seems sloppy.

As for the destruction of L’Manburg – here’s where I would talk about suspension of disbelief. Like, yeah, there’s six people living in L’Manburg, three of which comprise the government – so it’s really neither a nation nor a government, it’s barely an apartment complex. But we’re meant to understand it as a full nation – and as such, I still think the complete obliteration of it was a Bad Thingtm to happen. That’s the hard stance I have to take.

I read Ghostbur kind-of like the stand-in for the general populace – the people who were disenfranchised by what took place. Because when they don’t have extras to fill that role, a main character has to sort-of “symbolize” it (similar to how Niki was the stand-in for the “rebellion” in Manburg).

Overall, the problem that I have with Doomsday – aside from my problems I have with Technoblade’s character specifically – is that it’s just so muddled in what it’s trying to say. It doesn’t read as moral complexity, but just like a bunch of half-ideas that weren’t properly developed and ended up not meshing at all. Dream’s victory is framed as a bad thing – something that’s reinforced by the Season 2 finale – but from Techno’s side the destruction of L’Manburg is a triumphant moment?

Is it to show that L’Manburg was always just a shallow symbol? But Tommy, Tubbo, Quackity and Ghostbur never let go of it and are not framed as delusional or in the wrong. Again, the Season 2 finale explicitly frames Tommy’s attitude to attachment as in the right. Is it karmic punishment for Tubbo’s and Quackity’s descent into corruption? Tubbo’s arc was sloppy at best and his “epiphany” came completely independent from Technoblade and L’Manburg’s destruction. And Quackity played barely any role in Doomsday.

The people, who denounce L’Manburg like are either shown to not be in the right state of mind, like Niki and Fundy, or are still extremely traumatized by excessive amounts of violence, like Ranboo.

I hope, I could make my points clear. Again, thank you very much for your insightful comment, which helped me recontextualize a few of my own misgivings with Technoblade and Doomsday.

[cherry-valentine]

How Black Clover Gets Lady Characters Right

*Spoilers for most of the Black Clover anime (mostly character related stuff, not much in the way of major plot stuff)*

Black Clover is right up there with Gintama in terms of shows that reward viewers for sticking with them through some mediocre early episodes and arcs. When Black Clover began airing, I was excited. Manga readers had been hyping the series up, and it sounded like the next big shounen fighting anime that would take anime fandom by storm. Then I started watching it, and I was immensely disappointed. I found Asta’s constant screaming almost unbearable (to the point that I started muting the tv when it looked like he was about to open his mouth). The early episodes were totally predictable and cliche. The animation was, at times, embarrassingly bad. But I stuck with it because there were a few elements that kept me interested. One was the absolute bangers of opening and ending themes (at one point the thought crossed my mind that they were entirely too good for this show). Another was Yuno, whom I liked from the start. Then there’s the fact that Asta’s magic, or lack of magic, was the one element I didn’t predict a mile away. I honestly expected him to awaken to some super powerful magic early on. Almost 200 episodes later, he is still magic-free. I really did not see that coming. Still yet, I came close to dropping the series several times during those first thirteen episodes or so.

Somewhere around the time they went to the undersea village (I don’t remember the name of the arc), I began to notice that I was actually looking forward to each new episode. It was a gradual change from being at the bottom of my watch list to being near the top. So gradual it took me a while to realize it. The show still had some problems, sure, but it stopped being predictable. Asta talked more and screamed less. More interesting characters were introduced. The fight scenes were exciting. By the time this arc was over, Black Clover had become a favorite. So, if you tried the series and found it boring and annoying, consider giving it another shot. Like I said, it rewards you for sticking with it.

One of the best things about Black Clover, for me, is how it treats its female characters, especially when compared to other popular shounen fighting anime. It is by no means perfect, and I’ll talk about the show’s minor failings in regards to its ladies a little further down. But overall, it does a phenomenal job.

The first thing that struck me about Black Clover’s women is just how varied they are. There’s a surprising range in their appearances, personalities, and skills. And there are lots of them. Far more than a lot of other shounen fighting anime allow. There are five women in the main squad, the Black Bulls, alone. And we see that each squad has several women as well. Then there’s the all-women squad the Blue Roses. This extends to the villains, as well as the non-combatant supporting cast as well.

Speaking of skills, the women of Black Clover are unusually powerful. The two male leads, Asta and Yuno, eventually get “power-ups”, some kind of new form or transformation or whatever. This is super common in shounen fighting anime. What’s not so common, however, is the female lead getting her own cool power-up/transformation. This is what happens for Noelle, and it was such a great surprise. A little side note here: I’ve been watching the series on a streaming site that allows comments, and I was so amazed by the comments on the episode in which Noelle gets her power-up. The (mostly male, judging by their names) commenters were genuinely happy for her! They were proud of her for getting stronger and cheering her on! I didn’t spot a single comment about her looks or how great of a waifu she is (at the time anyway).

But it wasn’t just Noelle that got stronger. Another Black Bulls member, Vanessa, got an interesting power-up of her own, in the form a cat familiar that basically makes her and her teammates completely impervious to harm for as long as her mana holds out (which has saved their lives countless times). Another lady, Grey, has recently (in the anime) demonstrated some shockingly powerful magic that none of her teammates, or even she herself, realized she was capable of. Then there’s Charmy, who was already quite powerful but gained her own powered up transformation that made her strong enough to defeat an elf-possessed Magic Knight captain. If anything, the ladies have received MORE power-ups than the men.

And while we’re talking about powerful women, I have to talk about Mereoleona. If you’ve watched the show, you know exactly what I mean. If you haven’t, just imagine a character who can curb-stomp a powerful villain who is on a higher level than villains that the main characters were struggling to team up against just a few episodes before, who can then take on a whole group of these powered up villains and remain standing, even after losing consciousness, because they’re just that badass. Now imagine that character is a woman. And she’s so terrifying that one of the elf-possessed enemies (her comrades who had their bodies taken over by elves) remarks that his body froze up because, even though he’s controlling it, the BODY ITSELF was afraid of her. Mereoleona is an absolute beast, the kind of character that is almost always male in these types of shows. And the best part? The icing on this badass cake? The only person who was stronger than her, who could defeat her one-on-one, was ANOTHER WOMAN. Noelle’s mother. And a huge part of Noelle’s motivation as a character is becoming strong like her mother.

On the subject of Noelle’s motivation, I really appreciate that it has nothing to do with her crush on Asta. Sure, she likes him, but it’s not a motivating factor in her life and it’s not even really that important to her story arc. Her arc has always been about HER, about becoming stronger, living up to her powerful family’s expectations, discovering the truth about her mother’s death and then about avenging her, about becoming more empathetic to the common people despite being royalty. Noelle’s story is ABOUT HER. And it’s really sad that this is something remarkable, but we’ve all seen the “heroines” with no real arcs of their own, or worse, their arcs revolve almost entirely around their love for a male character (Sakura from Naruto is the most obvious example here but anyone who watches a lot of shounen can no doubt name many more). And Noelle isn’t an exception in Black Clover. Almost all of the women have interesting back stories and character arcs that have little to do with men (or if men are involved, they’re in supporting roles to these stories and very rarely the main subject).

An exception to this is possibly Charlotte, who is in love with Yami and this plays a big role in her story. However, even this is framed in a way that puts the emphasis on her own growth. It’s really about her learning to be honest with her feelings and getting over her own awkwardness around Yami. A big moment for her is when she admits to her squad that she’s in love with Yami, and they’re all eager and excited to help and support her, like the wonderful ladies they are.

Now, as I said before, Black Clover’s depictions of women are not perfect. There are a few issues I consider minor that I need to address. The first is the tendency the show has of making almost all the ladies be in love with someone. A large portion of the women are sporting crushes, though some of them are quite subtle or mainly used for comic relief, it’s still a little annoying that so many of them are in love. Of course, many of the male characters are in love with someone too (including the protagonist, Asta) and there are several female characters who are totally disinterested in romance, so I can overlook this. Another small issue is that, even though there’s more variety than usual in the body types (one female character is fat and another, Charmy, often gets quite pudgy for extended periods of time, plus a few ladies have more muscular builds), a significant portion of them have very large breasts, including two teenage characters (Noelle and Mimosa). It feels a little unnecessary, to be honest. Though to be fair, it’s rare that any of these characters are used for fan service and the camera never really seems to linger on their bodies. Most of them dress fairly modestly and among those who don’t, the more sexy clothes fit their characters and make sense for their personalities.

The last minor issue I have is that we often get the “designated girl fights”. If there’s a female villain, it’s likely that a female hero will be the one to fight her. This isn’t a rule set in stone, because there are plenty of male/female battles, but it happens enough to be very noticeable. Of course, these lady villains are demonstrated to be just as powerful and dangerous as the villainous men, but it’s still mildly irritating.

Those little nitpicks aside, Black Clover is still a shining example of a shounen fighting anime getting its ladies right. The women in the series are well-written, interesting characters with compelling stories. They’re powerful, have wildly varying personalities and motivations, and never feel like window dressing. They’re not just there to be pretty romantic interests. The show does all this very well, and I think it deserves a lot of praise and credit for it.

[anomalocariscanadensis]

so. Blindsight. bleak as hell. i think the whole “everyone’s being extremely subtly manipulated by intelligences beyond their comprehension with precise results” thing is... well, it’s a compelling premise once, but i’ve already read Echopraxia. it gets kind of tiring the second time around, and i don’t really think brains work like that. but the aliens are very alien, and the whole thing with the first contact protocol was cool.

an interesting thing about siri’s relationship with chelsea is that he tries to not act like a chinese room in it - he tries to actually be himself with her - and it falls apart because himself just completely sucks ass and can’t interact with people. if he’d been a true chinese room he could have done whatever was necessary to get the best outcome, but he doesn’t. some bits were relatable but thankfully not the “explaining through evolutionary psychology why our relationship is doomed” sort of thing, jesus

the rest of this is going to be various nitpicking disagreements i had, because it is indisputably that sort of book.

vampires are obviously rather ridiculous, just too many convienient things all in one place. the crucifix glitch, obviously, but also, how do you evolve multi-generation hibernation that fast? when you must eat one singular species, and failure to hibernate means you completely wipe out your obligate prey and make your territory uninhabitable? and the longer you hibernate, the fewer generations per timespan *to* evolve in? i’d accept this sort of thing in a book that didn’t have a list of scientific citations at the end but it just doesn’t fit as well

the rationale behind Technology Implies Belligerence seems simply wrong. Sure, if you have all your needs perfectly met you don’t need to develop more technology, but the more extreme the competition, the less leeway you have to set up long-term things and the less free time to spend on idly thinking up new ideas rather than directly competing. I’m fairly certain if you tried to track it, you’d find most technological progress throughout history comes from societies with less day-to-day competition due to surpluses, etc.

Rorschach actually kind of proves this - their whole “sit around generating ATP anaerobically for thousands of years” strategy doesn’t work if you get eaten halfway through

Since Rorschach didn’t attack the humans until after they’d hit it with a probe that it actively told them not to do, it might just be wrong in-universe. Who knows?

there’s a lot of questionable evopsych, but I’m not sure how much the book itself puts stock in evopsych, vs. just Siri as a character putting too much stock in evopsych.

he does get called out for thinking he’s objective when he’s just projecting his own opinions onto other people

also one of the main conclusions he draws from evopsych is “every heterosexual relationship is doomed” (nothing to say about gay relationships, naturally) which seems obviously false enough that I’d suspect it’s a personal bias to the character

but it’s the sort of book where i’m not sure if that even counts

EDIT: i misremembered part of it, he was wrong about Bates plotting to mutiny. i remembered thinking she’d mutinied when her drone fucked up Sarastri, but forgot that she later confirmed it wasn’t her. so yeah i think the really dumb evopsych stuff can mostly be chalked up to Siri being biased

the consciousness as parasite thing is obviously an interesting sci-fi premise but i don’t actually buy it, at least not for Earthly life

chimpanzees do actually pass the mirror test, apparently

my personal experience is that, when i focus on it, i have a lot of really quick pseudo-conscious thoughts before they pass up more slowly into full consciousness, but not all of them end up getting into consciousness. i’d be surprised if consciousness didn’t serve the purpose of, at minimum, taking the good bits of unconscious thought and reinforcing them so they get stored better.

Blindsight’s perspective on consciousness does seem to have language being a product of genuine consciousness, because Rorschach can’t do it. but how the fuck else are humans supposed to communicate, besides language? Maybe you can theoretically have intelligence without consciousness, but if it’s necessary for language then I don’t think you get complex human societies without consciousness, even if they’re individually more efficient.

vampires seem to be able to do language which is a bit weird if they’re not really conscious? but also, like, they can’t do complex societies because they’re so individually territorial, so that’s an enormous disadvantage anyway. i suspect they’d have died out even without the crucifix glitch.

“you don’t need consciousness to do math/science/whatever because of a few anecdotes of people waking up having dreamed whole theorems” is completely unconvincing. like, okay, how much of the work did they do consciously beforehand? how big of a leap was the dream, how complete was it, how much did they have to do consciously to make it rigorous? how often do people wake up with incorrect ideas in their heads?

this sort of thing was more plausible with the Bicamerals in Echopraxia because they were basically magic. applying it to actual humans falls rather short.

also I think his evolutionary reasoning in his “dodo” analogy isn’t quite the right line of thought for the point he’s making. Consciousness, as he frames it, is an extra energy cost for no real benefit which persists only because we’re not facing enough selection pressure to weed it out. But the dodo lost flight because it was excessive and useless for its island, which is the exact opposite situation.

A dodo analogy would be appropriate if consciousness was useful when facing unexpected problems but useless on earth due to human dominance, so we evolved out of it

a better comparison might be the Irish Elk, which is often thought to have gone extinct due to its enormous antlers. Its antlers were way too large to be beneficial to survival, but they persisted and grew bigger over time due to sexual selection. then the argument becomes that consciousness makes you more likely to get laid but is actually bad otherwise. still questionable, but at least fits better

[riisinaakka-draws]

Progress gif of this:  “Would you still recognize me?”

The quality isn’t the best possible, but hopefully you get the idea how things evolved... It’s made from “the preview pics” that I saved in this painting’s draft/wip folder whenever I took a break or wanted to compare/remember something special - and also so that I’d know where I left things and wouldn’t have to open the actual psd file every time, lol. To make the gif size smaller and to have it flow better (and be less eye-hurting), I left some of the frames out.

I admit it, it’s quite fascinating to watch now after everything :D *pats myself on the back*

So that the post doesn’t become too long on the dash, I put some additional notes under the cut, mainly about the refs and wips if you want to take a look! Please, do not repost elsewhere :)

(Btw, you can just read the bolded parts if you want a quick version or get tired of the rambling.)

I want to point out that the main work always happens underneath all kinds of adjustment layers because I like to test things a lot during the process before sticking on something if I don’t quite know yet what I want. Like the colour scheme or where the light comes (or if there are multiple light sources) or if something needs more contrast etc. So I paint with simpler colours first, but already have some ideas/adjustment layers over them, but hidden and waiting until the basics are done. Then I merge things and continue to paint with the “new” colour palette.

I also often test filters to have more texture or bring out some things better - or just to find something interesting to incorporate! Accented edges, crosshatch and watercolor are things that I often test in some way over my sketches and wips at some point when the basics are done or when I need/want some kind of further effect/texture or just something to knit them together better and for balance. And also just for fun!

Then I flatten the things I like (or I am “certain about” at that point) and continue painting over that ...aaaand end up testing something else, keep different versions or parts of things on separate layer groups (to compare or to bring back some earlier things that I liked or alternative lighting solution or object/body part placement, or...) and so on...seriously it’s always a mess controlled chaos! aahahahaha *face palm*

But mainly the things keep building on top of each other instead of having neat groups for sketch, lineart, colours, lighting etc. I mean, I always try to start with that but never have been able to actually keep it very long... And on the other hand I’m too nervous and indecisive to paint with only single layer/canvas from the beginning with (like a traditional painting would be painted). Or with just a few layers for background, character(s), effects on their own and so on... So I have this chaos that swirls towards that something that I had preplanned or wanted to achieve/practise until I’m happy with it.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE ACTUAL ART :

The original “spark” for this work was Flint at the end of the episode 1 with his bloody face and white shirt, and that nice splash of light, which made me think about the aftermath and him cleaning himself in the privacy of his cabin with some nice morning light painting his beard fiery and him lost in thoughts :) At some point that made me think of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec’s beautiful painting “The Laundress” which I have liked since I was a kid, so I started to steer towards it.

See the resemblance? (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Some of the refs for the bowl and Flint. The angle/posture ended up being a bit different and I had more refs for Flint’s face and shirt and hand etc.

Some wips:

1) basically the idea and items that I wanted to include.

2) after a break (weeks? months?) and after I had searched some more references to help. The eyes were at this point (accidentally) absolutely awful so I censored them for the sake of my own peace of mind here, lol (not sorry!)

More wips along the way, although not much difference can be seen as the pics are quite small.. :

3) I mirrored/flipped the painting constantly, to see the mistakes and also because I couldn’t decide which way I wanted him to be! This stage was aaalmost ready but I got stuck and forgot let it be for several months doing other stuff again.

4) I continued it, fixed lots of things with fresh eyes and experimented more with lighting and texture but nothing too drastic stuck in the end. I have two monitors and either (or both...) are calibrated a bit off atm, so it was quite frustrating to navigate and to know which one had the right colours that I was after... and I still don’t know but it looks nice on both screens so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   At this stage things were basically nitpicking and a bit too much honing.

The finished piece:

In the end I lost some of the things I actually liked more in the earlier versions (for example some had more of a dreamy feeling or better texture or more emotions/wearyness/anger showing that didn’t quite reach the end result again) and I overworked some other things, but nevertheless! I’m very pleased how this turned out! I reached the vision I wanted and learned a lot again :D

Thanks for reading <3

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 8: A Parade and a Charade

A lot happened in this last episode so there’s plenty to discuss! I’ll try to keep my thoughts...a manageable length. :)

Plotlines:

The Christopher Report

Triangle Tribulations

Bill’s Wounded Pride

Miscellaneous Stuff (FloYo, The Canfields, Dress Shop, Jesse, Infirmary)

This episode has been a little different from the others this season in that we had two pretty big plotlines going on, one medium-sized one, and a bunch of small flickers of plots. Things still managed to flow together pretty well over all, though, I think, but it was a shift I felt was noticeable.

For what it’s worth I mostly enjoyed this episode. There were a few little nitpicks (as usual) but I’ve really been feeling this season that we have a good batch of actors that work really well together and that’s been nice to see.

--

The Christopher Report

Mr. Christopher Hughes, resident Bad Boy™ and the object of Rachel’s immense and expansive Thirst™... 

I’m sure his character arc is going to match that of the average Adopted Child. That is to say, I feel that his arc will follow the same patterns that characters of his archetype usually do. He hates his biological parent who abandons him but becomes curious against his better judgment. He meets his biological father and feels anger/resentment at first, but there’s something there that feels Human and he can’t ignore it. Over time he starts to care, again against his better judgment. In Christopher’s case, it seems likely that the original reason for striking up a relationship will present itself later in the story (perhaps not this season, but next); it won’t be a wholesome attempt to connect, but rather an intent to bamboozle.

Remember Rosemary’s words from earlier: she knows a performance when she sees one. But we’ll get to that.

It’s a good idea for a storyline, and I have some faith in the payoff being worth it if we keep the same head writer for next season. This is the kind of thing best explored over a period of time and they’re doing well with the pacing. 

This episode, we first see Christopher when he surprises Rachel at the dress shop.

He mentions they haven’t taken in the sights in town yet, and Rosemary overhears from the back room. She asks him what sights and he switches his story to saying that he was thinking that Rosemary and Lee could take both he and Rachel around town and show them everything. Rosemary says it’s a great idea and of cOURSE they can do that! As soon as Christopher is gone, Rosemary starts lecturing Rachel on the type of freedom she’s trying to experience in Hope Valley. She pretty much says she and Lee don’t approve of Christopher while Rachel ignores her and sneaks out the back door.

The very next scene Christopher surprises Rachel again, but this time with a, uh...hands on approach.

He tells her he’s not afraid of her aunt or uncle, and she says she knows he’s not afraid of Lee because she saw him steal his pocketwatch when he arrived in town. He’s surprised that she didn’t say anything and he calls her “a little sneak.” She starts throwing things at him playfully and he asks, “You’re not afraid of me?” She says she isn’t and he tells her he’s as gentle as a lamb.

She says she doubts that, and he walks through the fire of her throwing hats (or whatever they are) at him and grabs her wrists. She takes the opportunity to kiss him and he laughs. They’re broken up by the sound of people coming closer so he tells her he’ll come to her house tonight and to listen for a sound at her window.

In the next scene, Henry walks into Nathan’s office where Bill seems to be...assisting Nathan? That’s my best guess as to what’s going on. Bill strikes up a conversation with Henry and Henry says they could have gotten drinks to chat if that’s what Bill wanted (it seems very Small Talky but Bill ain’t that kind of man). In fact, Bill destroys the peaceful atmosphere instantly and makes it clear that this is a business discussion, and his questions were business-related.

If I was a bettin’ man I’d wager that Bill will piece together some problems in Hamilton with Christopher, but eh, let’s not overextend my brain just yet.

Bill’s first and only real question is to ask when Christopher arrived in town but Henry gets upset and says Bill just wants to blame someone. I’m surprised Henry didn’t mention the bad blood between him and Bill leading to this, but I’m pretty sure that’ll be coming in the future. Nathan comes in and says nobody’s accusing anyone, they just turned up at the same time so they have to check everything. 

Later, Christopher runs out of Henry’s office and to the infirmary yelling for help. Henry was having trouble breathing and he got dizzy. There’s a big commotion about it and Faith tells Christopher that his father has very high blood pressure and they’ve been struggling to get it under control.

Christopher hones in on Lucas and goes after him for hiring Henry back even though he knew he shouldn’t be working. Bill intervenes and stops Christopher from getting too close to Lucas.

(Aside: I haven’t lost hope that they’ll do something with Bill and Christopher, at least from the angle of Bill having raised Christopher’s (dead) half-brother (which means Henry abandoned two women and two children straight-up), but I am starting to think it won’t happen this season.)

Around dinnertime, Henry talks with Carson and is in a good mood. When Carson asks why he’s had a sudden change of heart with wanting to get better (health-wise), he says Christopher called him “Dad” when he was worried about him, and it makes him want to do better because it means Christopher cares about him.

Y’all...that scene was so good. But. BUT. I feel like Henry has a big storm comin’ as it relates to Christopher. I just hope Henry’s self-improvements don’t backslide when he inevitably ends up disappointed in Christopher for one reason or another.

Outside, Christopher is sitting on the steps of Dottie’s Apparel across the way from the café and Rachel approaches him. She asks why he didn’t come to see her and he gets sassy about it, but she actually seems to understand exactly what he’s going through and calls him out excessively gently about it. I don’t like her instant attachment to Christopher but they’re young and dumb and at least she seems to Get Him.

She tells him that he’s not having dinner with his dad because he’s scared—scared of getting close to him, scared of feeling an attachment to him. The only way to protect himself from that attachment, and from the inevitable loss that you will one day experience in regards to them, is to not let it form in the first place.

He asks her what the solution is and she says he needs to take a chance. And then she ruins it by saying “Like when you stole Uncle Lee’s watch.” ?????? This is definitely some Into Bad Boys Teenage Girl Logic right there. There is literally no connection.

She gives him his handkerchief back and when he mentions it still has her lipstick on it, she says, “I know.” THIS GIRL IS TRYING TO GET HER A MAN AND SHE IS TRYING VERY HARD. I wouldn’t be surprised if these were things she read about in her tame bodice ripper novels though LMAO.

They then share a kiss and he promises to come and see her the next day at the store.

Rosemary and Lee mention to Elizabeth that Rachel’s mom wants her to come back home right away, and the next morning Rachel confides in Rosemary that she’s afraid that once she’s back in Bellingham she won’t ever be allowed to return to Hope Valley. Rosemary explains to her that she shouldn’t worry about that; leave it all up to her instead.

Christopher is busy working, digging a trench. He’s getting out some of his frustration and anger by doing this and Lucas seems a bit annoyed by him but otherwise accepting of his, uh, issues. At least...for now. Lucas seems to have come up to the worksite to suggest Christopher spend more time with Henry, as he feels bad that he didn’t realize Henry’s health was actually as bad as it was. 

But Christopher won’t go and just keeps angrily digging his ditch, and in fact he’s so consumed by this he doesn’t notice when Rachel leaves town. When he’s on break, he comes back into town only to find that the store is locked up for the day.

Seeing as how Rachel just found out the night before that she was leaving town, I think it’s plausible to imagine that...he doesn’t know she’s actually Gone. I almost feel bad for him.

Honestly, this young man is a whiz of an actor. He’s likable in that Fun Character kind of way where you never know if you should root for him or not. I’m not the type of person who generally likes characters like this, but color me intrigued. This show rarely has interesting characters in it that get to remain interesting. I hope Christopher gets to develop for the next couple of seasons if indeed they choose to keep him around. The guy can act! He plays funny, slimy, rude, arrogant, emotional, and even twitterpated really well, and he ain’t afraid to get dirty to sell the part. I respect that.

Can I just say how sorry for Henry I feel though, knowing—or at least feeling—that he will be blindsided in the near future with Christopher’s uh...faults? Woof.

--

Triangle Tribulations

There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t even want to discuss this. I just want to say, “That’s a yikes from me, Chief” and move on to the next point. It seems easier. And less awkward. And also...let’s be honest: I have no horse in this race.

I don’t care that much about Elizabeth as a character, and I care even less about what gentleman she might choose to set her sights on in the long run. 

But it’s become the central talking point of the show, so let’s discuss it!

Three years is a perfectly acceptable mourning period, but I think the show’s inability to hold its horses these last couple of years is just now catching up to it in the worst way. It puts Elizabeth in this awkward position where she has men interested in her and the show has framed her as being ready ish to move on, but then a new writer stepped in and was told to make sure the triangle lasted through most of the 8th season. How can he make it last when things have been set up for her to move on? Uhh, quick! Come up with something!

Oh, realism! She’s not actually ready to move on!

I mean, I don’t blame John Tinker for this. I blame the writer for S6 and S7 that rushed through the storytelling and gave us...whatever that was, where two men showed up out of nowhere and both set eyes on Elizabeth. I blame the marketing that made sure to sell S6 and S7 for the love triangle instead of the family-friendly or heartwarming elements of the story. It’s really sad that the triangle has come to...this. It didn’t have to. If they hadn’t tried making it a central point in S6 (literally months after Jack died when nobody was ready to really move on and nobody felt that Elizabeth would be ready, either) I don’t think things would be so awful, but it’s too late to go back, now.

Don’t get me wrong, the triangle feels pretty good this season. It’s tense. It’s interesting. Lucas really has shone in this season thus far (instead of coming across as creepy as he sometimes did for the first two seasons he was in), and Nathan is learning to be a little more...forthcoming with his feelings. I guess.

But it should have been S7. S7 should have had this level of care put into it for the triangle so that S8 was a chance for the choice to get some air.

Anyway, I’m not happy with it. I’m glad it’s almost over. I just want it to end. I do not care who the choice is, I just want her to choose.

In this episode, she confronted Nathan right out of the gate, and he wasn’t exactly pleased about it. She acts like he went into the adoption ceremony knowing damn well what Allie had done, but he insists he didn’t know and seems a bit hurt that Elizabeth would accuse him of being mean to her when he tells her that Allie’s list didn’t even have her on it.

Elizabeth later mentions this as a truth (the list, her name not being on it), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to think here. I’m gonna go with: her feelings were hurt and she lashed out.

Nathan’s temper is apparently done with Lucas, as he tells him to Save It at the end of the scene. I want to say I’m living for it but Lucas hasn’t really...done anything wrong, so...it feels misplaced.

(I want to say something about the fans being divided and this feeling more like fanservice/an attempt to stir the pot than anything that makes any sense.)

Elizabeth goes on to spend a little time with Lucas and it was very cool to see his office for the first time ever! Also, “pardon my French” was actually pretty funny here.

Nathan wants to talk to Allie about the adoption ceremony catastrophe but is called away before they can sit down and talk, which Allie is...sad about...for some reason? I guess even if it’s negative attention it’s better than no attention? That seems in line with her age. Elizabeth comments to Lucas about feeling sorry for Allie and wanting to comfort her, but in my opinion this is kind of misplaced and Lucas points out that he doesn’t mind her sharing a friendship with Nathan, but that...he doesn’t think Nathan will settle for it.

I’d probably be against Lucas on this matter but I already know that Lucas is right. Elizabeth seems to not to want to believe that but...I dunno. Part of the problem is that in a town this size, it’s really hard to have space. She wants to forget Nathan and focus on Lucas, but she’s constantly seeing both Allie and Nathan, and that makes it hard.

Around dinnertime she goes to Lucas’s office and he begs off dinner because he’s just not in a good state of mind after the whole thing with Henry, and he also seems like he’s had a few drinks. She offers to let him sit with her and it’s...uh...very cozy (probably the closest two bodies have ever been to one another on this show, hahaha).

He says he doesn’t want to be impatient and that she should leave. Which she does.

Fanning herself.

The next morning, Nathan approaches Lucas at the oil derricks to tell him that he hasn’t given up on Elizabeth just yet, to which...Lucas says he can do whatever he wants, but he needs to make sure he has the best interests of Allie and Elizabeth in mind, not his own. Nathan tries to say something else to him and Lucas says, “Save it.”

Which is fair and valid. I’d respect it more if Nathan’s “save it” had felt more believable earlier, though.

Either way, I’m at a point in this series where I’m starting to think Nathan’s just being selfish. His writing took an absolute beating in this episode and this isn’t even the worst part!

Allie invites Elizabeth to dinner. I hated this scene mostly because I think it will only make the hatred for Allie worse. Team Lucas fans tend to hate her because she acts so unreasonably and this scene was the worst example of it so far. She’s a young teenage girl (13/14 years old I’d guess) but this childish illustration card? Is something a 9 year old might pull (circumstances considered).

I’d find it more plausible if we just had more time with Allie, but we get so little and everything we’ve been getting hasn’t felt...quite right to me lately. I could understand the whole “inviting only Elizabeth and Nathan” because that’s actually quite clever of her, and even funny. She’s young and doesn’t understand the...bigger picture, or the Adult Feelings involved. I’m fine with it. But this? Oh please. They’re not doing Allie any favors.

I think she could have done something else that was more in line with her age. It could still be cringey, but not...like this. I’m certain it was meant to be a sassy response to being scolded because neither of them were aware they were the only ones invited (and Allie’s hand-drawn invitation makes it clear they’re the only two invited lol), but...eh.

The very next scene is Elizabeth confronting Nathan, though, which I do appreciate. This thing with Allie is so far out of hand by this point that he needs to absolutely sit her down and have a VERY serious heart-to-heart. She’s hurting and it feels like nobody is telling her the right thing.

Just before the adoption ceremony Nathan told her that Elizabeth was seeing Mr. Bouchard and Allie complained but Nathan did a great job of telling her that they should be happy that Elizabeth is happy and I LOVED THAT. So why does it feel like he didn’t mean any of it? Why didn’t he confront any of the other things Allie is probably feeling? 

Like, you know...that Elizabeth can still be her friend even if she’s seeing Mr. Bouchard?

Elizabeth asks Nathan for a word, and when she tells him that she wants to speak with Allie he tells her that Allie is home and is afraid to talk to Elizabeth without him being there. 

She asks why Allie is afraid but the fanfare starts for Bill, and Nathan doesn’t want to be rude but Elizabeth insists on continuing their conversation. 

Elizabeth tells him she was afraid it would happen if things didn’t work out between them.

Nathan says he doesn’t know what to tell her. He’s tried talking to Allie but nothing he says has convinced her that Elizabeth isn’t to blame. Elizabeth tells him that she thinks Allie should blame her because it’s Nathan she’s attached to/loves.

Their conversation is paused for a moment by Bill’s appearance but they pick right back up after Bill rides away on his horse. She says she tried to tell him at the parent/teacher conference that he is everything to Allie and he says he knows that, and that’s why he’s trying really hard not to show Elizabeth how he feels about her, and it’s why he turned down the promotion to inspector.

He wanted to leave but he couldn’t do it because Allie was so happy in Hope Valley. Elizabeth says that’s why they have to figure out how to make things okay again, because he said it himself, he stayed because Allie was happy!

He said, no, I said that was part of the reason.

And he looks away like he didn’t mean to say that, like in saying that, he’s said Too Much. And this isn’t about his feelings. This is...something else.

Elizabeth has suspected all along that he was hiding something and not telling her the whole truth about Fort Clay, but this behavior isn’t like him and she calls him out on it. She says she knows he’s hiding something and she wants to know what it is.

He tells her that at Fort Clay he was in charge of the training mission, not Jack. But he was disciplined for an earlier incident and they sent Jack instead. He says he’s sorry but there was never the right time to tell her.

The episode ends there.

I am...disappointed. I was hoping it would be something small that might have still weighed on his mind, like finding Jack’s body—having never met the man, having never known him, it would be so odd to know his wife and the home he loved but to have never known him. And to never really have a right to...ask about it either because it’s not your place.

But no, they really had to go there. They really had to make it like that. We’ve been guessing this since Nathan arrived in town as a possibility and I wish it had never happened.

I agree with all the people who think that there would be no point in the love triangle without Nathan being end-game, but ugh.

I’m fine with forgiveness and moving on, but back in S5 and S6 I made it very clear how I felt about the direction they were taking Abigail and Henry. For the purpose of clarification, Henry was actively awful (he was cruel to Abigail many times over and was part of the VERY DIRECT reason her husband and son died) and that was the biggest reason I opposed it. I think comparatively Nathan is harmless. But... I dunno.

It feels to me like they really want to tell that Type of story and...I’m not a fan. You can forgive someone without hooking up with them. In fact, that’s a way better moral to be dropping on this specific audience anyway.

I’m mostly disgusted at Nathan and have to now worry how they will write Lucas next to make sure he’s on equal ground. :(

Maybe Nathan’s posting in Hope Valley wasn’t out of guilt but the way he reacted to Elizabeth sure makes it seem like it was. Like he chose to come to Hope Valley to keep an eye on Jack’s family. And if it stayed at a friendship level I could respect it. I might even like it.

But... ugh. I mean, Nathan feels guilty. He knows his actions indirectly killed Jack. No, he is not to blame for it and I don’t think he blames himself—at least not in a traditional way. But the knowledge is there. He should have kept his feelings to himself. He should have NEVER decided he wasn’t going to give up on Elizabeth after she walked away from him. She didn’t say no but she shouldn’t have to. 

So he knew he was indirectly responsible for Jack’s death and he still let himself tell Lucas he wasn’t giving up on her. What the hell? 

I guess you can consider me #teamstaysingle now.

--

Bill’s Wounded Pride

This wasn’t a long or deep storyline but I wanted to dig into it a little bit since Bill’s my favorite character and all.

I really appreciate that they are giving Lee a chance to be a good listener. He got kind of overshadowed by Rosemary’s personality a bit in the past so it’s good to see a consistent show of it now. He’s so nice to Bill. I don’t feel like they’re great buds, but there’s a kind of...mutual respect there that has definitely been earned on both sides. Lee’s offer to listen to Bill vent was really nice.

After Bill goes off on Henry (sorta? barely?) Nathan calls Bill out for placing blame on Christopher by association of Henry, since he knows he and Henry have some bad blood between them.

But then Nathan kind of gets this self-righteous ramble about how maybe he’ll feel differently when he’s asked to hand in his serge, but it’s not helping Bill to prolong the process/put it off.

Which...while Nathan has a point, he’s just written throughout this entire episode like a selfish jerk. I get that he’s not that attached to his uniform (he’s younger, he’s willing to quit to settle down and marry), but you’d think he’d have a little sympathy for someone whose entire career was the Mounties and who is struggling to give up the last connection he has to that part of his life.

If Nathan was 18 or 19 I’d feel his reaction would be fully believable, but he’s probably in his 30s and should have a little more emotional maturity than this. 

Again, yes, Bill should just get rid of the uniform and be done with it. But it’s not as if Bill doesn’t know that. He’s struggling! A word of encouragement might help more than telling him to rip the bandaid off. If he talked this way to Allie it’s no wonder she’s so messed up.

Later that morning, Molly greets Lee about the lumber shipment Carson ordered for the infirmary and Jesse is grumpy. She jokes that she’s dealing with that, too, but with Carson and Faith. Lee adds that Bill is also in a bad mood, because he has to turn in his uniform. They briefly discuss that nobody has ever seen him in uniform.

Lee tells Molly that she’s in charge of fixing everyone else’s problems and leaves.

The next day, Bill walks into Nathan’s office to see Molly spying on his stuff...

She claims she’s there to wish him a good trip and he says he’s not looking forward to riding all the way to Hamiliton. She mentions his uniform and he’s surprised she knows about it, but says only that “word gets around.”

Bill says yeah, well, he should have told them that if they want it so bad they should come and get it. Molly tells him that “rules and regulations can strip a man of his pride.” Which is. A weird line of dialogue but okay. 

Bill tells her that it was a proud day when he put the uniform on—even though back then it didn’t have any of the decorations on it, of course. She says he must have felt ten feet tall he and replies with, “Ten years and three months.”

You know it meant a lot to him if he remembers the exact amount of years he wore the damn thing. Molly encourages him to try it on and he tries to excuse it by saying it doesn’t fit. She tells him he’s hard to read (probably because she thought he wanted the excuse to try it) but he’s “worth it, cover to cover.”

She goes on to say that “WE” know that turning it in means a great deal to him, so it means a great deal to his friends, too, and as he should know, the uniform doesn’t make the man.

She goes to leave and tells him it will definitely fit (HAHA maybe she was checking that while he was gone) and to do everyone a favor and put on a good show.

A short time later, Mike and a couple of others from town start playing some fanfare music outside the Mountie HQ and Bill emerges.

He’s touched by it, but also maybe a little confused lol, and asks them if they know that he’ll be right back.

And then...it’s off and away with Bill.

I’d have liked this storyline so much more if it felt...deeper? A little extra fanfare for him is nice, but it doesn’t really...deal with any of the emotions he feels. That said, I’m almost certain this is to get him to Hamilton where he might run into Christopher’s parents and/or hear more information about potential misdeeds of Christopher to move that plot along. 

--

Miscellaneous Short Plots

FloYo: Florence and Ned were cute but I wish they hadn’t tried to do anything with it in this episode. We didn’t really need to see Ned being grumpy about things as a like...Moment. It just didn’t feel very meaningful even though they had that cutesy “nobody can replace you” resolution. This episode was a bit of a miss for them for me because of that. And hey, don’t get me wrong; I generally like them, but trying to make everything wholesome all the time gets draining and there was so much other stuff that felt more rewarding to me comparatively.

The Canfields: Very cute, good. I need to know what Joseph’s plans are. And Angela learning braille and being so sweet... AHHHHHH I LOVED HER.

Dress Shop: I’m disappointed they had this plotline drag out for episode after episode and then die out. I guess it could be interesting if they blew it wide open by Dottie selling it at the end of the season to someone unexpected, but what bored me about this was that nobody was that stressed out about the situation and nobody seemed relieved that Dottie wasn’t selling. I’ll hold out hope that something comes of it anyway.

Jesse: FINALLY. I appreciated that he and Mike got to talk. It explains where Jesse was all that time...and Mike is a good friend. I love him. I hope he gets more screentime next season because he honestly deserves it. Also, I’m glad Jesse went to talk to Clara and asked if they could sit and talk. SIT AND TALK. YES PLEASE. Thank you. It was a simple step forward but I really appreciate it. Also, the Canfields and Bill hightailing it out of there as soon as Jesse shows up...haha.

Infirmary: GOODBYE HAM SANDWICH CARSON. I mean... I’m of two minds. Expanding the infirmary would be a good idea. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little more room for patients that might need to recover for longer, and to have a little bit more privacy for them. On the other hand, Carson’s sudden lashing out against the Hope Valley infirmary is...odd. I loved how he and Faith both got so excited but for different reasons that culminated in a completely different mindset. You can tell Carson really wants to go to Boston but feels weird about it. I love Faith’s dedication to the town.

--

My brain feels dry and crusty after typing all this up, and I didn’t proofread it at all, so sorry in advance if there are any errors in it. As always, I’m looking forward to the drama next episode, particularly with Carson and Faith (BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP).

I’m still kind of stunned they went the route they did. I find it hard to imagine that Elizabeth is capable of a choice within the next four episodes, but I guess we’ll have to see what’s in store for us.

Also, for a little laugh, my husband watched the full episode with me for the first time in a few seasons. He was pleasantly surprised by Angela Canfield and said that he liked “the property brother.” I think he’s #TeamLucas but he told me later last night that actually they’re both fine and he’d take either one for himself if the opportunity arose LMAO.

What are your thoughts on this episode? Opinions?