#it was irrelevant. it added nothing to the scene. no other straight characters in the show have said that

[cellarspider]

29/30 Quit while he's a head

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⛬

We return to a movie that does not know when to stop when it’s behind, Prometheus. Content warning for a random last bit of metaphorically kicking David’s head around like a football.

So, we last left Shaw lying on the ground, fully in the I Can’t mood, which I was actually feeling sympathy for. Let’s see how long that lasts, because David is about to give her a call.

“Dr. Shaw… can you hear me?” “Yes. Yes, I can hear you.” “I was afraid you were dead.” “You have no idea what afraid is.”

Is this just the lashing out of someone who’s emotionally overwhelmed at the moment? Could be! We’ll check back in on that in a minute.

David informs Shaw that they can escape, because there’s more ships. I’m not sure whether this is intended to be a plot twist, because the movie already showed us that there were identical buildings all lined up in this canyon. But nobody ever mentioned them or thought to check them out, so maybe Shaw literally did not ever think of that.

Next thing we know, Shaw has found David, and demands to know where her cross is. “Even after all this,” says David, “you still believe, don’t you?”

Shaw says nothing, because this movie does not appear to have any idea what her faith might mean beyond “believes a thing, cross good, God made Engineers.”

I’m not a religious or spiritual person, and I’m annoyed at how shallow this turned out to be. This movie has an explicitly christian worldview, and yet it doesn’t engage with actual christianity at all. This is bonkers.

David is also of the opinion that Shaw’s plans are similarly inexplicable–David assumes they want to go to Earth.

You know what would’ve made a tense, relatively cheap sequel to this? Have them head towards Earth. Have Shaw repair David, and then realize he plans to use the black goo on humanity. Too late to keep him from gaining control of the ship, you wouldn’t even need a critter to hunt Shaw or whatever, it could be kept as a straight thriller, where she has to figure out a way to stop David.

But no, Shaw wants to go to where the Engineers came from. 

“May I ask what you hope to achieve by going there?”  “They created us. Then they tried to kill us. They changed their minds. I deserve to know why.”  “The answer is irrelevant.”

Oh, no it is not, David. The answer is very relevant. It’s absolutely maddening, but I will GET to that next time.

In the meantime, Shaw completes her undermining of my brief moment of sympathy for her.

“Does it matter why they changed their minds?” “Yes. Yes, it does.” “I don't understand.” “Well…”

You can stop right there, Shaw.

“I guess that's because I'm a human being… and you're a robot.”

That is the face of a man who has just added another entry to The List.

What the hell kind of line is that. I really, truly do not understand that. In alternate versions of this scene she called him a fucking robot instead, so they were really committed to this idea that she’d deny the personhood of David right here. He's behaved horribly toward others, but basically in the way a child behaves horribly when they feel slighted. He has been mistreated and he didn't like it, so he did what he felt would make it stop. That's a very immature, very human reaction.

Is the movie unaware of this, or is Shaw unaware of this, and making a mistake?

Holloway was positioned as an unlikable character, partly on the weight of using real-world racist language toward David. What does this mean for Shaw? Does this confirm that she’s not supposed to be a likable or moral protagonist? Because she starts doing a “This is Ellen Ripley Elizabeth Shaw” message in a bottle end monologue, as they sail away to David murdering her between now and Alien: Covenant. This is her last living act, as far as her on-screen participation in the series is concerned.

This is just ambiguous enough to make me confused, and not because I’m conflicted about her character–I thought she was a wingnut from early on, and she contributed to a whole lot of destruction and deaths the movie didn’t sell me on as being inevitable. I’m confused because I cannot tell if this movie has a protagonist-centric morality or not.

As stated before, films do not need to follow any sort of moral code or consistency. But when they do, there are two broad ways to go about it: Either a moral code stands on its own, and characters are tested against it regardless of who they are, or morality is exemplified by the protagonist(s), defining the moral framework of the movie through their actions.

Neither of these are inherently bad. They can lead to what we once called “flamewars” on Ye Olde Internet, because this distinction is not explicitly announced by the story, or any story really. If one person thinks a story’s morals are protagonist-centric, or perhaps all stories are protagonist-centric, then a story with a real bastard of a main character can create a very angry response.

As I said previously, Ridley Scott has directed movies where the protagonist is not the moral center of the universe. But big spectacle action movies tend to lean in that direction, and the writer for this movie wrote and produced for both the JJ Abrams Star Trek movies.

You see my problem here.

I’m still thinking that Shaw isn’t meant to be taken as morally correct here. I’m just confused as well, because her ending message is hopeful. That she’s going off to a home planet of the Engineers, because “It is New Years Day, the year of our Lord, 2094," and she’s “still searching” for answers.

I hope that her hope is meant to be read as foreboding. Delusional. I don’t know. What is she expecting, showing up in what they now know is a bioweapon bomber? Why not spend some time trying to figure out how to not bring an apocalypse’s worth of ordinance to wherever she wants to go? “I come in peace” isn’t going to be very convincing when you can–and David certainly will–kill everything that moves.

What a weird way to end the movie. If its characterization wasn’t so often flimsy, I might like it. Instead, I’m just left spinning my wheels as we fade out.

Oh, sorry, we haven’t ended it yet, we need a non-human chestburster to go reee at the camera, like how Alien versus Predator ended.

Great. Good job. That didn’t cheapen the movie at all.

What a mess. What a mess of a movie that didn’t know itself.

But we are not done. Because traditionally, as the credits are rolling, I tell my friends about an interview Ridley Scott gave after Prometheus came out. One where he talks about the Engineers and their motivations.

I have heard the screams of my friends as I told them, and I have laughed. You’re next!

⛬

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Citations for alt-text rambles

https://media.tenor.com/mweqSDA_s_gAAAAC/game-of-thrones-got.gif 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Offspring_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharyngeal_jaw 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gQYNl0DEC7w/UYhmdkvmOVI/AAAAAAAACA4/HYWxCBYccHM/s1600/Sandworms.jpg

https://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/745405355995037696/i-forgot-people-dont-generally-know-what-these

[farlynthordens]

criticism of the writing of bisco & pawoo’s relationship and ways it could have been improved. CONTAINS MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS UP TO VOL 7

this is not “boo straight people 🤢” or anything like that because i legitimately believe it COULD be good, but it’s done so bad in canon that it makes it difficult to enjoy their relationship. especially the writing of pawoo’s character in particular

Pawoo’s age is never revealed

we never learn how old pawoo is and this irked me from the very beginning. all we know is that she’s older than milo. I got weirded out by pawoo coming on to bisco in volume 1 because.... my guy was only 17. if pawoo was older than like 20 (which I personally believe she was) it would make things really weird/creepy and I’d rather their relationship just have never happened in this case (or not happen til much later). BUT assuming the age gap isn’t weird...

Pawoo & Bisco’s marriage happens against his will

Bisco is blindfolded and led into a room under the assumption that something different is happening. he doesn’t know he’s getting married until the vows are already said. also, the wedding happened at pawoo’s request because it was essentially her “final wish” before she planned to die in battle.

it’s a SUPER contrived way to put them together, especially because bisco barely even likes pawoo as a person yet. it only works out because bisco starts liking her a couple years later.

the marriage was half for comedic effect and half a bizarre plot to trick apollo.... but then they just decided to keep being married? tho honestly, this scene could have added a lot more comedy for later on if at the end of vol 3 when pawoo doesn’t die, she doubled back on her request like “oh... well. haha, sorry for making you do all that for me, let’s get divorced/pretend that never happened.” i think that would VASTLY improve the situation and be way funnier. ESPECIALLY when bisco starts liking her romantically, there could have been some jokes about re-falling for your ex or something. this would also have solved the issues stemming from...

Bisco stays married to her out of an arbitrary sense of duty

there’s nothing wrong with loving your wife. the problem is bisco DOESN’T love his wife for first like 2 or 3 years they’re together. he never considers leaving her, because the logic presented is that he’s now her legal husband, so he has a moral obligation to be nice and protect her forever because that’s his duty whether he signed up for it or not. this isn’t completely out of line with bisco’s character, but the author keeps bringing this up over and over unnecessarily and, once again, it feels very contrived. it’s like bisco is forcing himself to like her.

despite his supposed moral obligations, bisco and pawoo barely interact for the majority of vol 4 thru 6 (over a year!!!). the one time pawoo tags along on a trip (beginning of vol 4), bisco treats her like a nuisance for most of it. in vol 7 we learn that bisco has purposely tried to keep her at a distance in order to not interfere with her life/put her in needless danger, but that just feels like another reason they shouldn’t have been together yet?

Them being married adds nothing story-wise for multiple volumes

considering that pawoo is irrelevant to the plot of 4+5 and is brainwashed for all of 6, them being married adds nothing to the story there. had they NOT been married, it would’ve made the ending of 6 much more impactful when pawoo says she loves him and bisco admits he likes her too - they could’ve had a true reconciliation of their relationship and try to start rebuilding up to what they had accidentally forced themselves into in vol 3, rather than it feeling like “oh fucking finally, they like each other so now their marriage isn’t weird.”

i don’t think that removing the marriage would completely remove their ability to care about each other. if nothing else, pawoo is milo’s precious older sister and bisco is milo’s beloved partner. pawoo keeps imihama safe and bisco is trying to save the country from rust. plus they’ve fought together and helped each other out a lot in the past. they still have many reasons to want to jump in when the other is in danger.

Pawoo’s “character development”

put in quotes because she doesn’t get a lot beyond what we see of her in volume 1. pawoo is talked about A LOT in vol 7, but almost solely thru the perspective of what bisco is thinking about her - how he’s assumed what’s good for her life, etc - we’re not actually seeing pawoo herself.

her whole thing is that she’s ridiculously strong and hardheaded, but then she falls for bisco. in addition to the (potential) age gap problem, pawoo is also a bit... creepy? in how she approaches him sometimes. like she kisses him against his will (a problem with multiple other female characters as well), when bisco is turned into a literal child (vol 5) she comments that she’ll love him regardless of age.......??

the only development pawoo gets is THROUGH her relationship with him - discussed in some more detail in a previous post here. TLDR, we learn that pawoo does have a soft/caring side and she wants to become a good wife. there’s very little to learn about her outside of that. there are villains and minor characters who have far more depth or canonically noted personality traits than she does.

I honestly would love if more time was spent on pawoo as an individual. we get less backstory for the nekoyanagis than pretty much anyone else, but at least milo has a lot of personality and a huge character arc over the entire series. i really want to know about her and milo’s childhood especially - what was it like for her to lose her parents at a young age and have to take care of an infant brother? is that why she was so overprotective of him, because she knows what the loss of immediate family feels like? how/why did she come to be the leader of the imihama watch? did she have to make sacrifices to send milo to school and give him a better life than what she could afford for herself? what sort of things does she like to do? it’s hinted that she likes fashion and makeup, so is that something she’d pursue more if she had the time? how does she feel now that she’s separated from milo most of the time? does she trust in him a lot more than she used to?

pawoo COULD have so much to her if questions like the above were ever addressed, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i don’t even really mind that pawoo was absent from the main adventures in vols 2/4/5 since i’m not sure what she could’ve added. but it would’ve been cool to see more of her doing her own thing, especially if we saw more of her fighting, or moments building out her relationships with tirol and jabi, since they’re together in imihama a lot but we barely see their interactions. it’s not like the series is alien to the concept of throwing in chapters that interrupt the main plot progression.

HOW TO FIX THIS

I listed some of my ideas above, but to summarize things:

Vol 1: bisco/milo are made older, or pawoo is given an age that wouldn’t make things creepy

Pawoo doesn’t forcefully kiss bisco in front of milo’s damn face when she already knows he likes him. but there’s some signs that she’s into bisco too

More hints are given when she’s present in vol 2-beginning of 3

Vol 2: probably a good place to put the nekoyanagis backstory? since in this vol pawoo is still pretty protective of milo, so that could lead to a conversation where bisco asks him why she’s like that and then we get ~sad lore dump~. it would also help bisco come to respect/understand her more as a person.

Vol 3: bisco and pawoo get married to fulfill pawoo’s final wish. after the battle, when everyone is alive and well, she decides to annul the marriage and pretend it didn’t happen. she was supposed to take this fantasy to her grave, but now it’s a huge awkward point she has to remember every time she looks at her crush

Post-divorce, there’s plenty of jokes from milo or others about “getting back with your ex” etc anytime bisco and pawoo have a civil moment or one of them talks positively about the other.

Vol 4-5: character building moments where we see what pawoo and tirol are up to in imihama

Vol 5: remove the “i’ll love you regardless of age” comment please that’s literally it

Vol 6: the whole thing with pawoo being brainwashed, but still being able to break through the brainwashing due to her love for bisco, could stay exactly the same and still work. it would show how her feelings for him never went away and have really only intensified. when bisco saves her and they admit they like/love each other, they’re able to reevaluate their relationship. maybe they can try being a couple for real...?

Vol 7: we get to learn pawoo’s feelings of isolation FROM HER DIRECTLY and not through bisco’s interpretation of her thoughts. i want her to show that she is craving adventure and desperate to leave imihama.

it might even be good if at the beginning, pawoo and bisco have an argument that mirrors youkan/geppei where she gets angry at him for assuming what she wants.

End of vol 7: the trio runs away to live their best lives. both pawoo AND milo get married (unofficially because they all pissed off the government) to bisco? 😳😳

[hwallout]

quatervois - ljy

summary: “Listen up pretty boy, we’re both murderers. We carry the souls of hundreds on our weapons. It doesn’t fucking matter who our targets are. We’re the exact same; except, I’m honest and I only do this because it pays good fucking money, and what is it you’re striving for? With your ass always covered? Pitiful peace and justice? That’s pathetic. There’s no such thing in this job.”

words: 21,7k (this was 38 pages on word im,,,i birthed a monster im so sorry)

genre: assassin!juyeon, assassin!reader, angst, drama, fluff, crack if u use a microscope

warnings: (not explicit) violence, murder, language

early an: holy shit it’s here

The way you got introduced and became a part of such a job wasn’t exactly how one would imagine.

Becoming an assassin hasn’t been a direct wish of yours. As expected, in the beginning, this exact possibility had never crossed your mind. Growing up in an ordinary, middle-class household, it was expected of you to follow the footsteps of many. Never the smartest kid in class, but with a knack for logic and solving thought experiments, you’ve imagined becoming a philosopher of some type. Nothing too spectacular, but interesting enough and different than a usual 9-5 job.

So then, how exactly have you come to holding a knife against a random man’s throat almost daily?

Of course, while young, a person is prone to the effect of the outside world and people surrounding them. Some pupils are lucky enough to live in the best surroundings and are given amazing opportunities; therefore, they grow up into kind, successful people. Then, there are those who thanks to certain circumstances end up walking a different path, all of them hoping for the best possible outcome.

In today’s society, the importance of money was huge. It was expected that every family, containing at least one adult person, was able to deal with constant fluctuation of cash and sudden, unanticipated expenses. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case in many households and those kids had to experience helpless life without enough money, while their parents fought for every coin.

It was incredibly unfortunate that it affected you as well, even so in the worst possible moment – right before university.  

Thanks to stupid reasons that could’ve easily been prevented, your family fell into dept, causing both of your parents to find second jobs. Not having enough money to continue with a rather expensive education, you felt obliged to find a job.

And of course, being so young and ambitious, but mostly misfortune driven, you thought that the future of the household was in your hands. It was a must to find something that pays good, fast.

Consequently, the first night was spent scrolling down the endless pages of Google. You searched for something that didn’t require any special education (because of obvious reasons), but would generously help your situation. Seconds extended into minutes, those into hours, days even. Finding a good job with no degree was pretty hard, yet what else could’ve you expected?  

The issue had you visiting most irrelevant sites, clicking on shady ads (and installing a thousand viruses, probably), asking strangers in online chatrooms. Lost and unexperienced, you struggled and almost accepted the proposal of being a stripper in a famous strip club downtown.  

Almost.  

The job you were suddenly introduced to was something seen in movies and video games only. For whichever reason, it appeared in a dream one night. The dream had you play the main character, dressed in all black, doing all the terrifying, dirty work with random weapons, but being paid a huge sum afterwards. It was scandalous enough to have you hesitating for a little while upon waking up, disgusted at the thought of doing it.

Still, remembering the money filled suitcase, you’ve overcome the initial revulsion fast. Unexpectedly intrigued by the idea, you thought a little research couldn’t hurt anyone. Finding a reliable site that offered information on paid assassins only took a couple of minutes. The author of the article was an ex-FBI agent, therefore you thought there couldn’t be data more reliable than this. Upon a quick look, you’ve come to the conclusion that the study was most definitely written with intent of educating people on this topic, rather than motivating them to apply for it. Oh well.

From an objective point of view, it was exactly what you were looking for. It didn’t require any special degree from any university and it paid horrendously well, with small variations on the amount due to different employers. Reading further though, you realized that not just anyone can become an assassin, or hitman, as people liked to call it.

It demanded years of training, hard work and terrifying change. The author described it as “...complete mutation of one’s mind and personality, utter desensitization to almost everything. Those people become machines...”. You didn’t doubt their words, on the contrary, you believed them completely. It was only logical that a person has to get used to blood, extreme violence, emotionless murder, which were no ordinary or acceptable sights and actions. Of course, you were in denial, about to laugh at yourself for even reading the article seriously.

But then your eyes landed on the pay again. The numbers were huge. It would definitely help. Your family needed this. Sacrifices had to be made.

The next day, you bought a burner phone with the last bits of your savings. Entering an empty alley, you immediately dialed a phone number you’ve found at 3am. You didn’t know what was the worst that could happen, seeing as you were dialing a shady number from a shady website with shady intentions. Maybe the phone would blow up – in which case thankfully, it was a burner. But that then meant you wasted money with no reason.  

Thankfully, the other side picked up and scheduled a meeting for the next day.

Everything about it was suspicious, from the first to the last moment. From the first meeting with a tall, fat man, wearing an expensive suit and a shiny Rolex on his wrist, to the moment that exact man patted you on the back for good luck on your first mission.

The training was all you’ve expected and more. Tears, sweat and especially blood were shed during that tough period. You were put through complete torture – whether it be emotional or physical. In the beginning, they had you watch videos containing mild abuse of random people, only to progress to horrible violence as time passed by. In times where you wanted to look away, a stern and strong man would yell at you, ordering to stay focused on the task – one that would make you used and nonchalant to seeing such monstrosities.

You were trained to take words, threats and even hits with a straight face, only to return ten times harder. Sometimes you thought that self-defense classes you were offered but never took in the past, would’ve definitely helped with the current situation. Simple pistols were immediately introduced to you, strange looking men always pressuring you into improving the mediocre aim. More complicated guns and snipers were thrown in your direction upon noticeable improvement.

Surprisingly, they began “paying” you from the start. The big boss said it was because he noticed your potential and incredibly fast progress, therefore used the money as constant motivation for further improvement. Unfortunately, the trainees you’ve encountered weren’t so positive about it, saying it was the boss’ way of making sure no one ditches out once they enter (“you’ll have to pay the complete sum back, he basically indebted you”). The money you received wasn’t a lot, but it was definitely a good starting position.

In a relatively short period of time, a huge change happened. You’ve transformed from someone whose eyes watered at harsh words, body flinched at sudden movement and hands shook while holding a knife, to a person who had no trouble taking a hit to the face, only to counterattack by slitting throats.

Your knack for logic and solving thought experiments and predicting outcomes came in handy, for they’ve worked on further developing that as well. They created a thousand puzzles, testing possible situations (“you have to run away, which route do you take?", "two witnesses saw you; how do you deal with them without anyone else noticing?”), always questioning your answers (“but then wouldn’t that make you more exposed?”, “what if suddenly your target chose to change their usual route?”) and having you argument them thoroughly.

You were trained to notice even the smallest of similarities between two situations, perceive possible danger/risks, predict where a target would appear next based on their recent roundabouts and analyze certain types of behavior. Basically, they tried recreating situations that would slowly introduce you to the harder part of your future job – the planning, unnoticed execution and escape from the crime scene.

The boss had personally hired personnel to train your selective attention. Everything a normal person would pass by and dismiss, you’d notice. The unusual movement of leaves in the corner of your eyes, a black bird in a flock of dark grey ones, the inconsiderable change in a person’s demeanor, a reoccurring but overlooked detail in everyday situations.

Friends weren't particularly made in such a setting; therefore, like many others, you've been alone through it all. Evidently, you've noticed other people around, mostly teenagers who were just introduced to the whole thing – yet never really bothered or had enough time to go and meet them. Everybody was just as scared and hesitant as you were when it all started. In the end, who knew who you'd have to fight against in the future. “Save yourself a heartbreak”.

Interestingly enough though, there was a boy who caught your eye. You weren’t sure when he was recruited, for he never seemed lost or inexperienced. The boy would walk confidently around the training site, shoot exceedingly well at the shooting range and progress through his endurance training perfectly.

Silently, you watched and admired the handsome boy with attentive eyes. Everything about him was as captivating as ever, further piquing your interest with every passing day. His form and skill were envious, while his mature behavior and breathtaking looks stole your breath away.

Eventually though, the boy disappeared.

Your parents were a sensitive topic. At first, they were told the job you found didn't have fixed hours, which sounded like the only logical explanation for why you never came home at the same time.

When the training became more serious and the changes in your personality and looks became obvious, you stopped seeing them. The place of stay was a motel a couple of miles away from the training site (or the supposed store you lied working at). Despite their constant messages and phone calls, pleads to come back home and stop “overworking” yourself, you stood your ground. The money you were paid was still linked back to them, and after a while you were informed that the debt was no more.  

Unfortunately, though, you've come to the point where you didn't want to back out from this horrendous job. And a couple months later, the boss forced you to cut contact with your parents.

Maybe it was for the better, because it wasn't possible to predict if they'd even recognize you. Their daughter built muscle, had a scarred body and went through a drastic change of personality. The desensitization did wonders to young minds. It came to the point where you were able to firstly watch and then execute a certain violent act (on a specialized, human-like doll), without having to look away. The two elders definitely wouldn't want such a person in their household.  

Although there really should've been, there was no shame or regret once the trainee period was finished and your feet set out on the first ever mission and first real kill.

Fast forward a few years after the first mission, and you were considered a high valued assassin.  

There really was no proper reason, but the flow of the river happened to direct you towards the more infamous customers. Drug dealers, wanted criminals, corrupted politicians, all sorts of people involved with illegality hired you. Over time, you've gotten used to it. Already familiarized with customers, type of targets and forms of execution, switching to work for a different type of people simply stopped crossing your mind.

Your prices weren't low at all. Actually, they were one of the highest for the job, yet with a great reason. Despite the victim count passing hundred, there hasn't been a single case that was ever (properly) solved, the employers always getting away with their work. Not even once have you been suspected or connected to any of the assassinations either, and it was all thanks to your tactics.

One could argue that there weren’t many ways a person could be murdered, but you managed to prove such a statement wrong. Not a lot of executions you've done followed the same path – which only showed how creative but also knowledgeable your mind was.

Because of one simple hair strand, whose color faded a long time ago, they called you Red. The nickname stuck with you ever since those torturous, trainee days, and nowadays, it helped avoid using your real name. You doubted anyone even knew what it was.

An interesting period began during your sixth year. Numerous politicians, usually the ones that heavily opposed the new government, would be found dead around the city. Not just them, but gang and mafia leaders who became too powerful and prominent in the public eye as well – many of those who hired you in the past.

Much like always, this government experienced the lack of trust and satisfaction from citizens. Rightfully so though, the public demanded change after supposed rigged elections, finally having enough of the fake democracy. Heavy and frequent protests blew up the nation, huge crowds of people led by a few brave individuals. Unfortunately, though, a few weeks in, the leaders of those would be found dead after announcing the protest scheme.

The terrifying amount of sudden assassinations were never solved or explained. At least to the public. The huge leap in numbers shouldn’t have been thrown under the mat so easily, yet it just happened. People began living in anger and fear. All the officials had to say about it was a simple “we're looking into it, but it’s not our main priority”, words that only intensified the rage felt by the citizens. That topic would always be dismissed with the same exact answer, occasionally adding that those assassinated already had “worrisome and problematic backgrounds”.

“It was only a matter of time when something as tragic as death would happen to them”

The situations greatly benefitted them; they wouldn't make an effort to explain whatever happened even if they weren't involved. All of those people worked against them, one way or another anyway. Still, the murders weren't spontaneous, and just like many others, you caught onto their sly play.

For a little while, you tried getting some insight and information on the cases. Your intentions weren’t to solve them and serve justice, but rather find whoever was the one hired by the government. It was pure curiosity to know who was the infamous colleague.

The information given to the public (obviously) wasn't much, and you were left connecting all the different cases using simple wide shots and shitty descriptions. The best source of information appeared to be freelancing journalists, who published the most details. Unsurprisingly though, those weren't enough for a proper open case either, for someone evidently prohibited them from posting more.

One thing that had you frowning was the fact that everything was way too clean, perfect and similar to your own way of work.

Closing the laptop after reading yet another empty article, you looked around the dark room. Sighing out in frustration and cracking fingers one by one, you wondered if you're supposed to consider those people your actual colleagues or rather enemies.

The clock ticked eleven and fifteen; just forty-five minutes before midnight. The atmosphere in the tiny apartment was calm, no sound other than your quiet breathing heard. Darkness filling your bedroom was only interrupted by the big moon that greeted you through an open window. Yet, much like any other Friday, the outside world seemed to be bustling with life, getting ready for what's yet to come.  

Standing up, you stretched fast and walked towards the entrance door. Picking up a black coat from the hanger, keys and phone from the little table next to it, you headed outside. Tomorrow was yet another mission, this time a man by the name of Lee Baekgon. The reason was usual, another member of a gang who had involved himself with the government, becoming an unfortunate mole.  

Thanks to the extensive week-long watch and study you've done on the man you had gotten used to his ethics and everyday habits. The experience you had and the surprisingly uninteresting and bland life of Lee Baekgon allowed you to do so in such little time – which always brought more money. The faster the execution is, the more expensive it is, and of course, you cared about the amount in your pocket.

Now, having everything planned out and prepared, you went out for a relaxing walk – as per usual on the night before. The streets were filled with people, hurrying in all directions, either coming back from their late shifts or going out with their friends.

Setting a regular pace, you camouflaged into the crowd and breathed in heavily. Colorful lights from nearby stores lit up the street in a thousand shades, creating a unique palette out of the usually dull path. Your eyes skimmed over people, not really staying locked on anyone's head or scalp. All of them were plain shapes to you, only looking similar to those who you've had the job of executing. Either way, it was pleasurable to hear the overall sound of people. The voices, laughs, gasps.

Suddenly and surprisingly, as if trained, your eyes locked onto a tall, lean, dark blue haired man walking in the opposite direction. It could’ve been because of his height or hair, but he stuck out of the dense crowd like a sore thumb. The stranger wasn't looking at you, rather ahead of himself, but you immediately scanned his profile. An unfamiliar feeling spread through your body, sending shivers down your spine.

The man carried himself with a certain kind of confidence, his steps calm and collected. He held his head high, looking forward as if staring at an invisible dot, walking towards an unknown destination. His eyes, although dark and hooded, were sharp and focused. The nose bridge of his created a slight shadow over the side of his handsome face.

Unexpectedly, as if sensing your eyes, the man looked back for a short second. Immediately, a familiar image of a teenage boy who exceeded in all training fields flashed before your eyes. Alas, before you knew it the man was taking a sharp turn and straying away from view.

The organ inside of your chest performed one incredibly hard beat, before going back to normal. Someone bumped your shoulder, apologizing right away and breaking the short-lived daze. For another moment, you stood motionless, looking in the direction of the other, the blue strands now long gone.

Shaking your head quickly and picking the pace up again, you tried processing what has just happened.

You'd see the man quite often after laying eyes on him for the first time. He even had a nickname. Blue.

Blue's fashion was quite predictable now, for the man seemed not to prefer colorful clothes. During the day, his wardrobe consisted of simple t-shirts, black jeans and occasional black leather jacket. One thing that changed almost daily though, was the bag that he'd carry. Nonetheless, Blue would always walk as nonchalantly and confidently as ever.

Each time you'd encounter him, the man would remind you of that certain boy. Weirdly enough, Blue never once looked back, no matter how many times or how close you'd pass by. No matter what though, you'd notice the same pair of sharp eyes peeking through thick blue bangs – a feature you very well remember.

The second thing that would have anyone's interest piqued, was that you'd see the man at the shooting field as well. On the days when you decided on visiting and practicing your (already impressive) aim, he would already be there. You'd watch from afar, the last couple of shots he'd take before turning around to leave. The male never once stayed any longer. Blue wouldn't even check on his hits - he'd shoot thrice and leave immediately.

A thing that many would fail to notice, would be the fast movement of his arms as he pushed the gun back into his rucksack.

Over time, you've realized that the number of encounters with Blue was too great for a stranger. The possibility of it not being an accident started bugging you. Eventually, it became worrying.

In the dead time of the night, while walking through forgotten alleyways no one really passes through, you'd see him. On rainy nights, while everyone else ran or hid away as to not get soaked, Blue would walk calmly.  

And maybe he had always been there, yet you simply never cared or gave it enough attention up until recently. Or maybe, it was something more serious.

His sight would often be locked onto his feet, hands shoved deep into jean pockets. During the night, Blue would wear all black, a mask and hood frequently covering up his face, yet the dark blue strands never failed to peek out. He'd also wear the same black worn out backpack, the one he never brought out in the daylight.

Although you've met and dealt with many different kinds of people, never once had someone managed to make you feel so curious but anxious at the same time. Neither of those feelings felt good.

Despite your initial pleasant surprise, Blue became someone who you disliked pretty fast. It bugged you how the two worlds happened to overlap at the most unconventional of times. Whether it was when you were spying on someone, following them or coming back to the base with blood on your hands, the man would make his appearance. You suddenly felt as if this stranger had a whole insight of your life and knew all of your secrets. As if he was aware of your job and worked as a spy whose target was you.

Feeling apprehensive was something you never expected to experience, especially while out of work. For the first time ever though, you thought about executing someone who you weren't ordered to take out.  

Thanks to instances such as those stated earlier, you've developed a side mission over time. As if in you were in a game and suddenly had to unlock another small part of the main story to progress. There was an undying need to find out if your suspicions were correct and what exactly was so off-putting, upsetting about this man (who seemingly did no real harm to you). And of course, if there was a way to fix it before jumping to the last, desperate solution.

Truthfully, you never got any thrill from the pure act of execution. Taking someone's life was as emotional as raw poetry, but those emotions were never felt by the heart, much less the brain. Sometimes you wondered what your thoughts on everything would've been if you hadn't changed so much.

Taking another deep breath, you grit your teeth and backed the scared man against a wall. With a knife held close to his Adam's apple, the man gulped and winced for the last time. Fat beads of sweat raced each other against his neck. There was no remorse for the other – neither him or the rest of his happy family.

You didn't hear the pleads and wishes of the victim, as the cotton gag filling his mouth prevented any noise from escaping. The thin blade sliced through skin and flesh in a delicate manner, effectively damaging his windpipe. The man gasped for air, but only coughed back blood. White cotton soon changed color. Watching the white material turning red didn't make you feel any different, just like the eyes of the man who struggled in pure agony.

Only when it looked like the blood was about to create a puddle on the ground, did you remove the cotton. The other gasped two, three more times, too exhausted and lightheaded to take any action. With much force, you pulled the body towards an open manhole and dumped it inside, listening to the way it heavily fell into the water.

That's what drug debt does to you.

Closing the manhole up, you stuffed the bloody cotton inside your coat and hid the knife inside of your boot. Taking off black gloves and mask, you pushed them beside the cotton and walked in the opposing direction than the one you came from.

The connected alleyways seemed to go on forever, but they were no unfamiliar place to you. To say that you used them often wasn't a lie, but there was rarely anyone else doing the same. Light steps echoed shortly; the fog that unusually filled the tight space became thicker as you delved deeper. Suddenly, there was yet another echo coming from the other direction. The person was seemingly walking towards you. Unconsciously, you prepared to reach down for the knife.

Through the fog you could faintly make out a silhouette of a man approaching. Every step you took allowed a clearer view of the other, and eventually the full sight of his figure. With an exaggerated eye roll and in pure disbelief, you silently cursed your absolute luck. It once again proved to be just who you expected.  

Blue walked with hurried steps, something you haven't seen before. Upon coming close enough to you, he looked up from the ground, pace slowing down and eyes meeting for the first time in a long while. Time seemed to slow down as well for both, one short moment extending to unexpected lengths.  

Both were dressed in similar, dark attire, carrying a fake expression of innocence. Yet, the moment their irises met, a certain feeling spread throughout their bodies, as if they quietly confirmed it wasn't a coincidence that they met here at this time.  

No words were exchanged, the moment finally ending as you passed by each other. There was a strong urge to look back after the other, but an inner voice whispered quietly, saying it was smarter not to do so. Not even when the man's steps promptly stopped echoing and you felt eyes on your back.  

A couple of steps later, you picked up on a sudden, but barely noticeable smell of human blood. For a moment, you were tricked into thinking it was the cotton or knife that were stuffed inside your coat. Still, the closer you got to a certain container leaning against a building wall, you realized it couldn't be it.

Once a foot away from the huge object, you stopped. The smell wasn't at all strong, but still noticeable enough. You didn’t want to interfere with whatever took place, but it didn’t take long to realize someone laid dead in there. In the end, it was the smell you were surrounded with pretty much daily.

Dots were beginning to connect slowly, but you were once again forced into moving. The feeling of being watched was making you feel uneasy, but this time you were tempted enough to turn around.  

There was no one standing where you expected them to. He was gone.

Sighing out loud, you turned around, took a quick left and finally walked out of the alleyway. There were almost no people on the streets, and the weird feeling was finally gone. The walk back to the base was just enough time to analyze all the different possibilities that unexpectedly plagued your mind.

It shouldn’t have surprised you that it happened so soon.  

A few rather peaceful days have passed since your last encounter with him. Time seemingly fled by, but unlike many other, these days were calm. The missions have come to a stale; therefore, you effectively used your free time to do chores and visit the market. In the end, the fridge wouldn't fill itself up.

The thin paper bag swung side to side as you walked. Cans and bottles made an unrecognizable but even melody as they clashed against each other. Lost in thought, you aimlessly walked forwards, enjoying the cool gust of wind hitting your face.  

But then, in the corner of an eye, you picked up on a man running towards you.

He was in his forties, a body of short, strong and somewhat fat build covered by a formal, grey suit. There was little to no hair in the middle of his head, while two thick patches spread on the sides. He wore a panicked expression, eyebrows furrowed and eyes all but screaming for help. It took him only a few seconds to reach you.

“Miss?” The man panted, immediately bending down to place his hands on his shaking knees. “Miss, I beg for your help”.

Glancing at his face again, you recognized the other as Mr. White - a man who has been barking against the government quite a lot recently. The propaganda he preached was slowly but surely gaining more supporters, and it suddenly clicked for you. This little rat probably had a sudden reason to feel unsafe and afraid of experiencing the same end as many others. What a shame he was brave only on the TV.

For a moment, you were hesitant, unsure if accepting to help was a right thing to do. Especially when such a person was in question. You waited a minute, while the other gathered his thoughts and managed to form coherent words. He must’ve sensed your reluctance, for not another second was wasted before he began explaining.

“I’m sorry, I feel exposed and like I’m being followed and...” Mr. White went on, blabbering something you only hummed along to, while scanning the surroundings. The park he came from wasn’t that crowded, unlike the last time you’ve passed by. There were only a few families playing with their kids and people walking their dogs.  

Nothing out of the ordinary, yet a certain man walking a tall Doberman managed to have you interested.

“...that hooded man...”

Lips moving to form a smirk, you almost patted yourself on the back for suspecting the right person. The stranger was rather tall, wearing black fitting jeans and an oversized cherry red hoodie. Despite it being warm outside, a big hood was pulled over his head, and his face was somewhat covered by a cap he wore underneath. A strong hand gripped the chain leash that held a dauntingly big, black Doberman on a trained distance, walking in a calm pace. The dog was huge, with ears pointed up and forwards, steps elegant but threatening. One could swear that it could rip a man’s head off with one bite.

“Why didn’t you take a taxi?” You asked back, cutting off the current ongoing speech.

“I tried... I tried calling for one but... none... none stopped, please help me... stay with me, wait with me” He practically begged, knees bent and hands pressing together as if praying. Passerby watched the scene unfold with surprised expressions, some even mocking the way the male behaved. Frowning at the current situation, you pulled the man up by his bicep, not in the mood for any unnecessary drama. He looked way too pathetic.  

Nodding as a reply, you started walking towards the pedestrian crossing not so far away. On the other side, at the designated spot, you’d be able to call for a taxi.

The whole time, you ordered Mr. White to walk in front - as if your smaller form would be any coverage for him. Despite not being strong, the wind was still powerful enough to carry the quiet echo of footsteps behind you. The person walked with the same pace, keeping suspicious distance.

Once at the traffic light, you stopped. The panicked politician didn’t dare move, his limbs stiff and frozen like a paused frame. At the given moment, you weren’t sure if the man was even breathing – his chest wasn’t at all moving. Unfortunately, the wait for the light to turn green was quite long. The steps that used to echo behind you came to a halt as the suspicious man finally caught up. It was then that you turned around to look at him – eyes meeting with a pair that held no emotion inside of them.

Blue looked even more handsome up close and in broad daylight. With fierce eyes and dominant aura, he seemed quite intimidating. While his facial features now resembled a grown man, they once again reminded you of that certain young boy. It was a sudden flash of clear memory, something you’ve only experienced while crossing paths the blue haired man.

Blue attentively caught onto your interested gaze, for his eyebrow rose and lips formed a smirk. Slowly, as if you were supposed to notice, he glanced behind at the motionless politician and then back at you, this time with a wider smirk. Such a bold move.

And of course, it shouldn’t have surprised you that it was him. Coincidence no more; your doubts were crumbling down like a house of cards thanks to the sudden stimuli.

The black dog watched you like prey, hungry eyes tracking every move. Thankfully, it was properly held in its place by the stronger man.

As soon as the light turned green, Blue took off, not sparing any more attention to neither of the two. The Doberman trailed in suit, walking graciously beside its owner, following the exact pace. You let him a few steps ahead, before crossing the street with Mr. White who seemed more relaxed now.

Paying the last bit of attention to the young man, your eyes unconsciously trailed down his leg. Immediately, you noticed the outline of a certain object that strained against the material of his fitting jeans. With a quick analysis, you recognized the weird shape – it was a knife.

That was it; exactly all the additional information you needed. The young boy grew up to be someone you now worked against.

Work, work, work. That’s all your mind was filled with for the past few weeks, and with a good reason. Being an undiscovered assassin often demanded immense amounts of creativity (which really proved to be hard when unmotivated) to avoid similarities between cases. Sometimes, you even had to choose the riskier and more public approach, much like today.

The current mission demanded a month-long preparation and as crazy as it might sound, obtaining explosive was the easiest part of it. You were lucky to have a couple of acquaintances who somehow had the exact stuff you needed, and at a great price as well.

For exactly four weeks, you’ve watched over a certain man, a tall, strong and well-known drug dealer called K. Besides actively selling all sorts of opium and illegal substances, the man led a powerful gang named The Vipers. You’ve never been hired by that gang, but you’ve heard a lot about them through numerous connections and accidental eavesdropping. Sometimes, you thought that assassins were the biggest threat to their employers, thanks to the amount of insider knowledge they pick up on over time.

The Vipers heavily depended on their leaders, brothers K and B. The older sibling, K, as the stronger leader, took most control over their big bites, while B did the other, sporadic and less serious work. Still, they cooperated perfectly, working in sync to create a big, illegal underground market, that the government never spoke about.

Unfortunately, they got themselves into a big fuss with another powerful gang, Weiro, the details never once directly explained to you. There were a couple of things that you could’ve suspected went down, but really, it wasn’t your job and interest. Anyhow, Weiro employed you, with a strict order to kill K in an extravagant way that will have his gang warned properly. Their request had your eyes rolling back; music wishes were never a favorite.

For a whole month, you studied the man, all of his whereabouts and paid attention to the people he interacted with from an unassuming distance. While K probably lived a very stressful and interesting life behind the closed doors of his hideouts and warehouses, his everyday ethics were pretty bland and easy to predict. Of course, you weren’t the one to complain, for it made your job easier.

During that time, you’ve also thought of an extravagant but careful enough way to finish the mission. Thankfully, creativity wasn’t a skill you lacked most of the time.  

The plan was simple when broken down. Every third day, at 4pm, K. drives from his home to The Vipers’ main warehouse. He takes the exact same route to reach that destination in the shortest period of time, driving either his black Porsche or B’s red Dodge. Both cars were one of a kind in the area. There are exactly 6 traffic lights he has to stop at before advancing to the highway and leaving the city. With some advanced work, you managed to interfere with them through a tiny device that was set up and connected to a phone. It still didn’t work at command (which you wish it did), but it bought some time by prolonging the red light.

Thankfully, your city had a wide chain of sewers that spread under every single street, numerous manholes leading in and out.  

The public town cameras positioned at almost every corner were connected to your phone as well, allowing a great view of the street you’ll be operating on – or underneath, for a better narration. Navigating through the sewers should be relatively easy, thanks to the map you’ve studied numerous times. After interrupting the traffic light, K’s car will (presumably) stop right above a manhole, through which you’d be able to set up a 30-second explosive. The car should explode a street away, killing K.

Surprisingly enough, the plan worked out perfectly. With hurried steps you’ve walked into one of the empty alleyways, immediately running towards an already open manhole. There was a bright yellow warning that indicated a hole in the ground – one that no one closed even after a whole year of the sign just standing there. Looking around for the last time, you slipped in, sprinting away the moment your feet touched the ground.

Steps echoed through the empty tunnel, contact with wet surface only creating loud splashing noises. Currently, the screen of your phone was split, half showing the camera display of the street and half exhibiting a blue button and a frozen counter. A few minutes of fast navigation through the sewers, you looked up, realizing the designated place was there. A quick look up granted proof that the plate was there. K was then taking a turn, only a few hundred meters away from you.  

With a quick and forceful tap of the blue circle, you watched the light turn red.

The powerful vehicle driving closer appeared even louder down there. When K stopped and the noisy engine came to a halt, the cameras were there to confirm his perfect position. Hurriedly, you climbed up, working the plate open with a miniature crowbar (that you carried in a backpack, along with the explosive). Then, with calculated and calm movements, the metal cover was carefully moved and the car was right there.

Huge amount of smoke entered through the opening, making you cough. Much like always, time was precious and there were only twenty more seconds. Skillfully, you securely tied the tiny bomb to the underside of K’s vehicle, closing the manhole up and setting the timer off immediately after.

The light turned green and the mighty engine roared for its last time.

Taking a clean jump down, you ran back the same way. Somewhere in the middle, you heard a huge bang, followed by strong vibrations of the ground. Smirking, you nodded in satisfaction because of yet another case well done.

Outside, on the main street, while many panicked about the car currently on fire and a dead man inside, the familiar blue-haired stranger watched with calm in his irises. He was leaned on one of the walls, laughing at the scared pedestrians and their clumsiness. Then, as if programmed, the moment you came out of the alleyway, he turned to face you.

Caught like a deer in headlights, you stopped in tracks. Blue smirked boldly, nodding slightly with a raised eyebrow – as if giving props for the finished job. Once again, an anxious feeling overtook your body, slight goosebumps appearing on soft skin. Gulping, you took a deep breath and walked right past, trying not to look intimidated by his sharp gaze.

Despite the familiarity you felt, Blue never once showed any signs of knowing who you once were or where you came from. Yet, it looked as if he knew exactly who you were and who you worked for currently, which was a worse situation to be in.

Once again, you aimlessly walked through lit up, bustling streets. Unnecessarily, you felt like a part of the normal community during these times. The chilly wind was somewhat relaxing against warm skin, serving as a distraction from overthinking. There were a thousand things that could go wrong every time, and thinking about them wouldn’t make anything easier. In the end, your skill and instincts never failed you, every move already memorized as muscle reflex.

About twenty minutes in, you caught onto a familiar person a few meters ahead. There was a small group of people separating the two of you, therefore they allowed short glimpses. Still, the tall, lean physique and dark blue hair that gleamed under the street light, gave their identity away. It was him.

The man’s posture was something you were already used to – relaxed, with steps long but calculated. His head was bent down lifting up for a second only, before falling down again. With the way his arms were positioned, you supposed the male held a phone or some sort of device in his hands.  Not daring to approach, you chose to follow his movements from a safe distance.  

A tall, strong man took a quick right turn into one of the side streets, effectively distancing away from the crowd. You wouldn’t have paid any special attention to him, if it weren’t for Blue’s gradual stop as well. Choosing not to blow the cover off, you continued with the same pace for a little while, ignoring the other as you passed right by. After about thirty more steps, you sat on one of the free benches that allowed a clear view of the blue haired man.

He stood on the same place, now leaning against one of the street lamps, phone still in hands. The device lit up Blue’s beautiful features, his stern eyes occasionally looking up and at the direction that man disappeared in. From his actions, you presumed he was the next target, and the assassin was only studying his behavior and roundabouts.

Although you couldn’t see, Blue watched the man enter one of the buildings, then waited for the lights on the 3rd floor to turn on and a window to be opened, much like always. When that happened, he pushed the phone into his jacket and turned around, happy with the final observation. You sneakily watched from afar, admiring the relaxation and carefreeness.

Then unexpectedly, Blue turned his head slowly, eyes meeting with yours. They found you so easily and that’s when you realized there was no cover to begin with. The uneasiness once again itched your skin. It was clear that he was aware of your positioning, hell, he probably even knew when you were behind him. The man’s eyebrow rose in an amused manner, before he looked the other way and walked away.

Something told you to go and follow.  

Taking careful and light steps between people, you tried to stay as low-key as possible, although the other probably expected – scratch that, knew – you were behind. His phone rang, an annoying ringtone interrupting the previous atmosphere. Blue picked up quick, talking quietly but laughing loudly at whatever the person on the other end said. Quickening the pace, you were able to get close enough to hear pieces of their conversation – unfortunately it wasn’t anything interesting, rather a casual talk between two friends. You suspected the man used this as a foolish cover.

Suddenly, he turned a corner, disappearing right behind. The phone call was still ongoing, his strong voice echoing through the alleyway for just a short period of time before getting lost in silence. You waited a couple of seconds before advancing.

It was your shadow that first made it around, but it made no effort of warning you about what’s to come. A silent scream left your lips, as the man you’ve been stalking for the past twenty minutes stood right ahead. His body was so incredibly close, minty breath fanning against your face. The corner of his lips formed a teasing smirk.  

“Hello, Red” He spoke, voice low, but with a pinch of playfulness in it. His big hand lifted up and reached behind your ear, taking a hold of a certain strand of hair. Noticing the expected color was no more, Blue frowned lightly. “Oh? It’s not red anymore?”

His act evidently surprised you, eyes wide open and lips parted slightly. The fact that he called you Red had only increased the bewilderment. A battle of foreign emotions started inside of your mind and chest. A foreign, bubbly feeling was fueled by pure hope that the other somehow remembered you, while the rational mind suspected the man’s real intentions and knowledge. In the end, Blue had never once interacted with you directly, how would he know about a hidden strand? Who did he hear it from?

“Hello, Blue” You replied, looking him right in the eyes and choosing to ignore his previous question. There was a slight tinge of dominance in your words, something that the other wasn’t quite expecting. “Nice to finally meet you”

“Haven’t you a long time ago, though?” He questioned, the smirk now turning into a light-hearted smile. Something about it had you wanting to wipe it off immediately. Nevertheless, his words once again had a double meaning. They echoed in your mind, replaying like a never-ending mantra. Technically, the two of you were no strangers, but what reason should you give him? Was it thanks to the faith that intertwined your paths or was it the history you’ve indirectly shared?

“Let’s just say I like to make things formal like this” The more you observed the man’s features, the more you grew intrigued. He was just so perfectly sculpted, and it made no sense that someone as breathtaking as him busied himself with such dirty work. Yet, God only knew what had forced the young boy to choose such a path.

“Well then, my name is Juyeon” Blue extended his hand for a handshake, once again showcasing just how big his hands were. Not bothering to take the gloves off, you accepted his greeting, somehow managing to feel the roughness of his palm over the black leather. A quick mutter of your own name was seemingly enough for Juyeon, for he hummed along and repeated it with the same tone. You didn’t miss the smooth flow of the vowels off his tongue.

Tranquility enveloped the small alleyway. Wind blew through it in strong waves, messing up your hair. Two frames stood just a step away, never once breaking eye contact, but prolonging the silence that swallowed every other sound. It was becoming awkward, yet neither knew how to bring up topics that obviously interested both.

“So, want to grab coffee, or?” Juyeon asked, breaking the suffocating atmosphere. His words served as a splash of cold water that brought you back into Reliaty, eyes averting their gaze for the first time. You watched a rat run from one trash can to the other, disappearing behind it in a matter of seconds.

“No, I actually have something more important to do” The truth was, you wanted to go with him out of pure curiosity, but a lot was holding you back. Even after imagining this exact moment a thousand times, you weren’t sure you were ready for it. Apart from that, there was yet another more impulsive reason for the refusal. You’ve been taught that everyone was an enemy when looked at from the right angle, especially in this job. Therefore, you were to deny as a precaution to not allow just anyone to use any information against you.

And what’s the most unfortunate was that Juyeon wasn’t just anyone. He was exactly your type. Which meant that he was both the most dangerous and safest of them all. The worst combination.

“But less important than following me for about...” The male looked down at his watch, an expensive device tightly secured around his wrist, “20 minutes?”. Blue's expression was one of curiosity, probably anticipating the reply to his remark.

“I had time to kill” It wasn’t at all believable, but the other let it slide with a slight chuckle. He glanced at you with an amused look, before speaking.

“Kill huh? Working so late?” Juyeon teased, the chuckle from before now growing into an audible laugh. Truthfully, this exact reply had caught you off guard pretty well and the silence that suddenly spread was a solid proof of it. Fortunately, though, the other allowed time to think of an answer properly, all while having the cheekiest smile spread on his lips.

“Why so surprised? Weren’t you doing the same a little while ago?” Juyeon nodded at your question, shoulders shrugging fast as if to nonchalantly approve of it. You were quite surprised with his quick confirmation that didn’t hold a pinch of hesitance. It felt as if he was perfectly fine with verifying all of your suspicious and letting you know about the trivial things. Logically speaking, it was only fair, considering how much he apparently knew about you.

“Well then... I can’t do anything about your time” Tsking to show fake disappointment, the male pushed his hands into tight jean pockets and gazed down. It was surprising that he wasn’t pushing the proposal, rather accepting the denial. For whichever reason, your pride accepted a decent hit. With one foot, he carelessly kicked a rock on the ground with a heel, making something underneath his shoe cling. The sound didn’t go unnoticed.

“I guess I’ll see you around then” Juyeon added, before turning in the other direction and slipping away. Before you could react, the man was already ten steps ahead, carrying himself in the same relaxed fashion as before. His steps echoed, the soles of his shoes way too hard on the ground. Upon a quick accidental look, you noticed a piece of shiny metal on his heels, reflecting off the light that happened to hit them directly. Huffing was your only reaction to it.

The whole way back, your thoughts were a hectic mess, one that couldn’t be calmed down, for they always wandered towards the blue haired assassin.

You never really liked warehouses, for they were way too open. Thankfully though, the one you were working in today wasn’t empty – crates and boxes filled with unknown substances and materials were scattered all around, as well as machinery that’s used to move them around. Overall, all of those objects allowed much cover and plenty of room to comfortably work around the broad place. Moreover, your steps weren’t going to echo too much in such a setting.

Today’s target was a man named Captain Lee, a case similar to about a hundred others previously assigned – work with government officials. You never cared how many people did what, but you supposed the most died because they hadn't paid their part of the deal or smuggled with the government. Either way, they happened often and you will never run out of work just because of that.  

Hidden and on a great distance, you watched Lee and another man (assumed government official) enter the warehouse. Unfortunately, both had a generous number of bodyguards, but luckily, none were allowed inside. The huge door was the only easy entrance option, but since that would immediately ruin the mission, you decided to infiltrate some other way. Working fast and precise, you climbed up set of drainpipes and entered through an open window on the roof. Done in less than three minutes – record time. Dropping down was a more challenging move, but nothing too bad, for you entered far enough from the two men to remain unnoticed.

Your shoes that were two sizes bigger, proved to be a bigger hassle today than ever before. The metal railing was very hard to move over without making any unnecessary sound. The mask on your face helped you breathe properly, the air being way too stale for anyone’s liking. Thankfully, there were no major light sources that would interfere with your cover. Full black attire matched perfectly with the semi-dark surroundings.  

The voices of the two males weren’t loud, but in an empty space like this, the echo was immense. It helped you navigate around or between the crates and gigantic shelves in the most accurate manner. The pistol in your hand was already equipped with a silencer, your hand reaching up to stabilize it for the last time. Slowly, you sneaked closer, back pressed against a set of boxes.

Then, unpredictably, something moved in the corner of your eye.

Stopping dead in tracks, your full attention moved to the staircase not so far away. It was protected by one of the huge machines – those you supposed organized all of these crates. Your mind promptly wandered off to the worst scenario – it must’ve been a guard you failed to notice. Gripping the pistol with more force, you aimed at the suspicious area, holding the bullet in, but ready to fire if needed.

Despite the darkness, you noticed a puff of blue hair. Lowering the gun with an inaudible sigh, your eyes rolled back, jaw clenching in frustration. The boy peeked out carefully, irises finding yours in an instant. He nodded in your direction, hand moving slightly in a low wave.  

Looks like the day has come when the two sides get to work together.

Juyeon seemed to realize that as well, for he moved closer to the edge of his cover, evidently willing to make a plan of action. For a moment, ego and pride made you think about ditching the offer, why would you ever need help? But on a second thought, he would definitely make everything easier, and who in their right mind would deny that? Shuffling closer, you accepted the silent proposal with a nod.

Although far away, the two succeeded in communicating through short signals, functionally organizing a proper scheme. You’ve got to know the male was equipped with a knife only – which really didn’t make things easier, but it was possible to work around it.

Juyeon got moving quick after ending the discussion, making his way around the warehouse. You watched his steps until he disappeared, readying yourself to fire at Lee and disappear if anything goes wrong. In the end, you weren’t going to risk getting caught because of someone else’s mistake all while already being so close to completing your part of the job.

Once in position, the other assassin threw a coin in another direction, the tiny object immediately serving as a distraction. Exactly then, both of you jumped out of cover, not giving the two men any reaction time before It was too late.

Juyeon grabbed the official from the back and covered his mouth with one hand, the other coming up to slit his throat, while you fired two rounds at Lee’s head. The pistol, although suppressed, made two sets of noises that still sounded through the warehouses.

Experienced, you knew that if the bodyguards had trained ears, they’d pick up on the sound. Therefore, in a hurry and with a wish to get out of there asap, you grabbed Juyeon’s unoccupied hand and took off running. Hurried steps probably made more sound than the shots you were worried about, but thankfully there was still no one that could hear them.

Juyeon diligently followed behind, holding onto the thin blade and occasionally looking back at the entrance door. Fortunately, both of you were able to reach the exit in a matter of few minutes. Just a moment before slipping out, he picked up on a glimpse of two bulky silhouettes entering the warehouse. Pay people to protect you, only to be murdered without witnesses. Bodyguards my ass, Juyeon thought.

Neither spoke until far away from the mission location. Walking through the woods, both tried making as little noise as possible, gripping their weapons tight just in case there was any more danger. In the natural setting, black clothes greatly contrasted the greens, yellows and browns. Nonetheless, the two figures silently walked through with determination.

Only when in complete clear, did the both stuff their weapons inside their attire, taking the hoods and masks off before anyone could notice. More relaxed and less covered up, you’d look like a normal couple taking a walk in the nature. The road you took led towards the center of the city, but it was a long, long walk.  

After scanning your emotionless face for a few minutes, Juyeon was the first to break the silence.

“Don’t you feel the smallest bit of remorse? He had a sick wife and year-old twins waiting for him at home” The question was a pure shocker. Instantly stopping in place, you looked the other in the eye with the most baffled expression. Out of everything he could’ve asked, that’s what he chose to say? Was he judging you? Was he expecting you to actually care?  

You weren't sure where he was coming from.

“Excuse me? Do you? Are you any better than I am?” You bit back, hoping the pure annoyance that dripped from your words reached the other. Juyeon’s face didn’t change at all though, it remained blank, as if your passive attack hadn’t even touched him. As if you were getting worked up for no reason.

“He didn’t have a family; I don’t sign such things; therefore, I don’t feel that way” The male replied, in a matter of fact tone. His attention wasn’t on you, but an invisible dot in the distance, somewhere between all of the trees and bushes. Still, he could clearly feel you looking at him with a suspicious expression.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. I have a choice and I choose not to do it, simple as that. Not everyone works for the same people and has the same goals as you”

You wondered how can someone make your blood boil in such a short period of time. Much like you, Juyeon trained for years; it was a fact that he had no empathy for any of his victims – such thing was inevitable. Every assassin in training had to go through the desensitization program, and no one was different than the other when it came to feelings of this kind. So, what exactly was he trying to do with his questions?

Why did it matter if you cared or not? Why did it matter if someone had a family or not? What was the difference? Just because he worked for ‘the good guys’, he got to be the morally right one? What even was it they fought for? Peace, order, harmony in the community as a whole? Or satisfaction, more power of the hungry ones on top by murdering individuals? You had to laugh.

All these years of work and you’ve never once stopped to think about someone’s family or friends, for it simply wouldn’t have changed anything about the final decision. “No hard feelings” was one of the few rules of the whole ordeal. Killing people was your job, the execution of someone didn’t have anything to do with their sick wives or young children.  

You stepped forward, pressing a finger into Juyeon’s chest.

“Listen up pretty boy, we’re both murderers. We carry the souls of hundreds on our weapons. It doesn’t fucking matter who our targets are. We’re the exact same; except, I’m honest and I only do this because it pays good fucking money, and what is it you’re striving for? With your ass always covered? Pitiful peace and justice? That’s pathetic. There’s no such thing in this job.”

At this point, you were fuming, jaw clenched and eyes boring holes into the other’s forehead. Although your voice was hushed, it was quite authoritative. The boiling blood that flowed through veins quick only fueled your irritated brain. Truthfully, the boy did feel slightly intimidated, but more so intrigued.

“Get your head out of that utopia mindset. “Oh I’m killing because that helps keep our community peaceful”, no! You’re killing to make the rats on the top happy and get paid a fortune! You’re taking a life whoever you’re working for. It does not matter if they have ten starving children, or a sugar baby waiting for them at home. There’s a reason they should be dead and you’re not the one to question it! Much less using family as an argument! That’s pointless!”

Juyeon didn’t try and oppose your thoughts, only watched your annoyed being work itself up with every sentence spoken. The smirk on his lips slowly grew wider, eventually turning into an honest smile. Although not in ideal conditions, you managed to captivate him so much, and the man wanted to know and hear more from you, even if that meant you had to yell at his reasoning.

It was interesting how the tables have turned though. Juyeon suddenly wanted to continue observing and listening to you, admire this smaller being that held so much power and determination. It was only now that the male realized the appeal of doing so, after so many years of wondering just what had you looking at him from a distance for so long. The two of you were so different now, despite being so similar back then. Yet the one thing that hadn't changed, was the beauty of the young girl that had evidently followed her into adulthood.

He’d hardly admit it, but he was glad that faith had done its job at setting the two of you up again.

Thanks to your state, the next fifteen minutes went by without any more words. Juyeon kept a safe distance, a couple of steps behind you, unsure of what to do. The tension was beginning to make him uncomfortable. At one point, the thin blade placed inside of his hoodie moved, and the boy let out a fast yelp. The knife managed to shift in such a way that fortunately didn’t harm, but warned the other of its position.

Juyeon crouched down and pushed one arm underneath his hoodie, moving the weapon and trying to push it deeper into the hidden fluffy pocket. For whatever reason, worried about the lack of presence behind, you turned around and noticed the man crouching down, an uncomfortable expression on his face. Approaching out of pure curiosity, you lowered to be on eye level – not quite expecting Blue’s next move. Just to break the unbearable tension, he thought.

With a quick grasp of your arm, Juyeon pulled you towards him, falling back into the soft grass. The two figures fell down, one of which was smirking wide with hooded eyes and the other wore an astonished expression.

“You see Red, you’re some type of enemy for the regime as well, working for sketchy people and killing unnoticed... Be more careful, otherwise I can make some money off you too” The boy joked, voice calm but low. His sudden change of demeanor had you pleasantly surprised and without much thought, you joined in on the play. Situated on top of him, you lowered yourself down, just a few inches away from his face.

“Oh, you can, but you won’t” You replied back, a smirk of your own bidding its hello.

“What makes you think I won’t?” Juyeon answered, suddenly pressing something sharp against your stomach. In any other instance, the action would have immediately set off your self-defense mechanism, but right now, the man was allowed to have his harmless fun. Somehow, you felt the other wasn’t a threat, and your senses never lied to you.

“Because it’s against your morals, pretty boy. You wouldn’t dare. You kill only when ordered and I highly doubt I was ever on your list” With that, you managed to take home a doubtless checkmate. The man tried ignoring the way you called him for the second time that day. Slowly but surely, you took a hold of Juyeon’s big hand that held the weapon and moved it away to a much safer distance. The other let you, without any protest or fight back.

“Plus... I don’t think I’m working against you; I don’t touch anyone else but the bad guys, remember?”

At such close proximity, it was possible to predict what were the thoughts of both. Unexpectedly though, beside a moment-driven need to press your lips together, there was a hidden feeling of understanding and content. Both remained in the exact position for a little while, breathing the same air and enjoying this unique situation.

Without any special reason, you lifted up and touched Juyeon's nose with a soft finger. The act changed the atmosphere quick and caused both to giggle, pleasantly surprised to experience it recklessly Mindfully, you then hoisted yourself up and off the boy, helping him get on his feet as well.

An imperceptible crack formed inside of your soul, something that was just a beginning of a storm.

The next two weeks passed by without any encounters. You took time off to regain energy before moving onto the next scheduled and fixed mission, while Juyeon busied himself with the usual, easy executions. He’d run around the city, hang about in underground passages throughout the day and sneak through alleyways during the night. His victims weren’t big bites at all, for he had gotten used to simple cases of unprotected individuals.  

Juyeon has always been covered by the government, which was to be expected since he did work for them. Every single life the assassin had taken, was never recorded in his dossier, for it remained as clean as ever. The cases he and a few other colleagues worked on were never investigated properly, always thrown under the mat or closed by the court after a few days. It often happened that innocent people were forced to take blame, just so the families of victims felt ‘content’ and ‘justice’ - despite it being far away from that.

The boy had a proper reason for why he chose the path of paid assassination. It's not rare to hear that people who’re born in a violent environment grow up to be violent as well – and unfortunately that was exactly what happened to the blue haired assassin.

Juyeon was only seven when he had lost a dear parent. On an unfortunate night, his father had come home shitface drunk and proceeded to beat up his mother. It was sad to say, but the boy, as well as his younger brother, were used to violence, as it occurred almost daily. Their mother would always usher the two youngsters into their rooms, before she strongly took all of the anger of the older so her kids wouldn’t have to. The man had rarely ever come home sober, and the number of times they listened to the pitiful gasps and cries downstairs was way too great to count.

Still, one night, Juyeon noticed his mother laying on the ground in a pool of red liquid and her mouth parted with eyes fixed on an invisible dot. The father, enraged and unable to process the situation properly, lunged towards him. With extreme amount of luck, Juyeon managed to shield his younger brother for a second, immediately grabbing him by the hand and running out into the open.

Even so young, Juyeon was aware of everything. Raindrops fell in an even, calm rhythm on the pavement while the sky flashed every now and then. He ran almost barefoot, the socks on his feet soaked by the wet pavement. All the time, he held tight onto the younger’s hand, encouraging him to continue running despite everything else. The teddybear his brother carried was dragged along the ground, plastic nose creating a strange noise over asphalt ground.

It took a long time until they were able to find someone on the streets in such weather. One young and reliable looking woman stood under a shop shade, seemingly waiting for the pour to stop. Mindfully though, she ran out of cover to help the same moment they came into view. The woman was shocked and distressed, listening to the heartbreaking story of two young souls who spoke through never-ending tears, their voices breaking with every sob.

Juyeon and his brother were taken into custody quick, and their father was arrested in a matter of one day. Sadly, the siblings were soon separated, both going into different families due to unknown circumstances. They never saw each other again.

Juyeon grew up into a teenager with a never dying urge to get revenge on his father. The picture of his mother lying dead on the ground replayed behind his eyelids every time they closed, it only fueling the hidden fury. He couldn’t fall asleep easily and when it somehow happened, he wouldn’t sleep for long as the image would haunt his young mind even then. Juyeon was unwillingly updated on the state of his father, who he visited not even once.

Either way, Juyeon silently plotted how to get back on the remaining parent, not letting anyone know anything about those plans – which fell apart in the end. The elder died in prison two years later – cause unknown. Juyeon hadn’t bothered to go to the funeral.

The teen ended up without a revenge, nor the justice he thought his mother deserved. Juyeon turned towards bad habits and streets fights, often falling victim to toxic relationships. Everything he did was to ease off the horrible feeling of guilt and anger he simultaneously felt. Secretly, everyone feared him, his sharp words and skills, despite the boy never doing any intentional harm to others without a proper reason. The fights Juyeon got into were only when he felt immoraly wronged, or when someone really pissed him off.  

Eventually, the boy was introduced to the job he’d later become a professional at. Young Juyeon thoroughly thought this tough decision over many times, especially when standing before the big, bossy man who immediately offered him a contract. The older said that people like him tend to be perfect for the job, particularly when driven by a certain emotion – something that would drive them on. At first, Juyeon wasn’t sure where he would end up with a “degree” in assassination, therefore hesitance was a reasonable reaction.  

Sly as a fox though, the boss used unfortunate history against the rookie. Juyeon was told that if he did well enough, there’s a chance he’d be accepted into the government guard – and it fought for justice and peace.  

It was surprising how kids of different backgrounds happen to receive the same treatment and training, only to end up on different places again. One could think that since everyone experienced identical programs, they were meant to work together – when it was the exact opposite. The minor differences in performance and work ethics that could easily be overlooked, were the ones that labeled you a certain position. And unfortunately, it often depended on just what kind of person they turned you into.

Juyeon thought about his time there often. Short pieces of memory flying by and disappearing in an instant. The six years he spent watching different clips of torture and learning how to flawlessly execute a silent murder. All the days his mobility was challenged – running the same course, climbing different heights and crawling through miniature gaps while carrying different weapons.

He thought about all the different people there, all of the kids that he watched get beat up and heard scream – many of those giving up after only days of training.  

But she never did.

The little girl that always observed his practices and paid attention to his every move, as if she was trying to remember them as well. He remembered the younger taking everything thrown at her like a complete champion, determination and will for success written over her face in bold letters. Juyeon always wondered just what it was that made her so persistent.

Shivers ran down his spine as the face of the little girl in his head took on familiar lines. They formed a mature and stoic, yet beautiful as ever face. Juyeon sighed loudly, still not processing the fact that faith made it be so their paths crossed again.

How exactly the two of you managed to find each other so fast in a club full of people, was unexplainable. It could’ve been a sixth sense that you’ve developed, for the two pairs of eyes immediately locked the moment you walked in. Thanks to previous experiences and an uninteresting game of guessing, you’ve come to the realization that once again, the playing field was same for both.

Slowly creeping up to the man, you threw your hands around his neck, attempting to dance to whatever song the DJ was remixing. It was an easy way to get blended into the crowd and communicate with the other without raising suspicion. Flashing colorful lights along with the excessive amount of fake mist and sweaty people once again reminded of the reason why you didn’t like clubs. But alas, work had to be done.  

Juyeon had caught onto your plan, but the smirk and hooded eyes clearly showed that he was quite amused with your boldness. Carefully, his big hands creeped up to your hips, bringing close to his and swaying them to the beat of the song. With a gasp of surprise, you giggled, turning around in Juyeon’s hold, back pressed flush against his strong chest. The male’s head moved closer, lips lingering just above your ear. Out of pure curiosity, with a swift move, your ass ground against Juyeon’s crotch, eliciting the sweetest gasp in return. Before any remark could be made, you glanced back, speaking in such a volume that no one else heard.

“Who is it tonight?”  

“One of the sisters, Yuri” Juyeon replied, voice low and rough, soft lips finally touching your ear. The grip on your hips tightened, as a precaution to not dare pull the same trick twice. Although the colorful tints of flashing lights turned the whole room into hectic mess, Juyeon was thankful for it hid the flush that unknowingly overtook his features.

“Oh, how exciting!” You replied in a sarcastic tone. “I’m here because of Aria!” The answer received a hum of understanding in return.  

The two sisters, Aria and Yuri, while not the most influential on the streets, had managed to get themselves involved in quite a few problems with the big ones, for a short period of time. To know that the fall of both happened due to one’s mistakes was slightly disappointing. It was one of those rare cases you were disclosed all details, and simply put, it had your eyes rolling back. Everything could’ve been easily sorted out.

Despite being twins, they were complete opposites. Aria was always the calm, calculated and careful sibling, while Yuri ran around, causing problems, concerning herself with illegal jobs and getting away with it thanks to her connections. Those associates often asked for something in return, and more often than not, it was someone with some type of political power. You guessed that’s why Juyeon was here tonight. Can’t say it wasn’t to be expected.

Aria, although the more mature twin, got dragged into everything thanks to Yuri. Surprisingly enough, she managed to find a place in the community fast. At first, Aria often did the dirty and hard work of finding new druggie customers for her bosses. Eventually, she progressed and ranked up significantly (no one really knows how she did it so fast), finally allowed to deal crack and heroine by herself – while of course having to pay a percentage back to the leader. The semi-autonomy was there in theory.  

It all went smooth and well until Yuri found out. To her irrational brain, it only meant free shots of fun every time she needed it. Therefore, like a fool, Yuri started using the drugs her sister had to sell, without giving a coin back. Whatever the reason was, Aria let her.

Debt happened fast, as Aria couldn’t pay back enough money, nor make up a good enough excuse as to where the drugs went. The siblings tried prolonging their (Aria’s) payment date and buying just a tad bit more time to get everything sorted out. Empty promises were spoken through disposable phones as Aria pledged the money will be ready soon.  

And as if they were suddenly blind and deaf to the fact of being in debt, the sisters decided to open a nightclub. Apparently, the earnings (they hoped would happen fast) would be used to pay back thousands of dollars they owed.

Unfortunately, being too hopeful was never a good thing. And that’s why you were there on the exact day of the grand opening.

“Well then, can I ask you to be my partner in crime, Miss?” Juyeon whispered, nudging your temple with his nose. Although in the mood to play with the other for a little while longer, you had to get to work first. Once again turning in his hold, you nodded and began bopping along to the new beat that vibrated off the walls. With foreheads pressed together, you tried ignoring Juyeon’ sharp gaze and focusing on discussing a plan of action.

°•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° 

It was unusually easy to get inside of the security room, turn the cameras off and delete all footage of the current night. With a bit of secretive work, two assassins found a blueprint of the whole floor, familiarizing themselves with all important points of the nightclub – first and foremost the security room. Immediately, both got to work.

Thanks to your moderately revealing outfit and Oscar-worthy acting (no sarcasm intended), you worked as a distraction in the first part of the plan. Accidentally walking into a male bathroom, you managed to gain attention of drunk and drugged men. As expected, they followed out like hungry dogs.  

In the meantime, Juyeon slipped in and out of the bathroom through an open window. The drain pipes, weird infrastructure and façade of the whole building, allowed him to make his way around and towards the security room. The window was barely open, but with a bit of force, it was lifted up higher and Juyeon jumped in without much sound.  

With quick work of skilled fingers, the footage was deleted and all cameras were disabled for the night. Following the same path, the male left, making sure to lower the window into its previous position before returning to the bathroom. Luckily, your charm and flirty words worked well enough to keep other men outside the room until Juyeon came back.

He felt wronged seeing everyone looking you up and down as if you were some type of provocative art piece, hoping to get a feeling with their nasty fingers. Immediately, Juyeon approached the little group and wrapped a protective arm around your shoulder, leading you away. Sounds of disapproval were heard from the rest, but neither paid no mind, already focused on the next piece of the plan.

°•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° 

Keeping up the cover often required creative and interesting measures. You’ve been there, done that many times, yet never once have you made out with someone in public because of it.

At one point of the night, while progressing towards the next point, you’ve noticed a couple of guards paying a little bit more attention than usual. The amount of security surrounding one piece of the corridor was enough information to understand that the sisters (or at least one of them) were in one of those rooms. Trying to play drunk and drugged was so far the best shot at being left alone, but it seemingly didn’t work this time, as one bulky man walked towards you. The sound of his voice was almost silenced by the deafening music playing in the background.

“I’m sorry this is a-”  

Suddenly, Juyeon pushed you against a wall. Big hands cupped your face, holding it so delicately, carefully, as if you were a rose made out of glass. Yet, his lips moved against yours with a hungry and lustful feeling, only breaking apart to catch a breath before continuing where interrupted. One of his hands trailed lower, hitching one of your thighs over his hips, earning a rather surprised and breathless gasp in return. Unfortunately, the guard wasn’t willing to cooperate.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to leave this area” He yelled, voice unexpectedly high for a man his built. Juyeon chose to ignore the other, kisses now trailing underneath your jaw and over the tender skin of your neck, nipping but not strong enough to leave any marks.

Growing impatient and with an obvious pressure from his colleagues that bore holes into his back, the guard grabbed and  Juyeon’s bicep, effectively breaking the two apart. It took all of Juyeon’s mind strength not to turn around and break the man’s arm – that much was obvious from the sudden fire in his eyes.

“Leave” The bigger said, pointing back towards the direction you’ve came from. With glassy and hooded eyes, you watched the intimidating man, giving him a wide, forced smile. Pointing between the two guys, you started laughing, occasionally looking away and trying to suppress more giggles from spilling out. Juyeon caught onto the tactic and followed it, his shoulders rising and falling in a fast rhythm.

“I’m sorry~ we’ll goooo” Not wanting to create any unnecessary drama, you grasped Juyeon’s hand, leading the way while fake stumbling and force laughing the whole time. The male tried supporting you, and for a more authentic look, his own steps shortened and uneven.

“Drunk kids... I can’t bel..” Was all you’ve heard from the guard, before his voice blended in and disappeared in great noise that was an EDM beat.

°•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° 

Around one in the morning, when the night was reaching its peak, the two targets came out of their room. Despite other distractions, Juyeon and you spectated from a safe distance, dancing against each other for the nth time that night. As per usual, Yuri appeared high and out of her mind, while Aria dragged her towards a small terrace that overlooked the dance floor. There was a guard that followed behind.

“I guess it’s true that they’re giving a speech tonight... how eventful” With a sarcastic tone, Juyeon whispered in your ear. You looked up towards the terrace and hummed along to signal his words have been heard.

“There’s only one guard following, there must be more up there” He continued, head dipping low and lips caressing the exposed skin of your neck. Following the beat of the song, Juyeon moved one of his legs between yours, interested to see the reaction he’d get. His bold touches and moves intensified the unusual tension and sudden heat you already felt. The mission had to be done fast, since you weren’t sure how much more of this new, pleasurable torture you could take. Both were being pretty unprofessional, evidently forgetting about their main focus at times.This wasn’t at all like either of them.

“Taking them out up there is too risky anyway” You began, leaning your head back into the juncture of Juyeon’s shoulder, before speaking again, this time with a more teasing tone “Can’t guarantee that my idea is safe either, though. Are you up for the challenge?”

“Oh woah, don’t get too cocky on me now, baby” Blue replied, smirking when your head shot up to look him in the eyes. It faded fast, an eyebrow raising in a questionable manner, as if his words weren’t special and deserving of such a reaction. “Tell me. I get to hear the offer first before taking it, right?”

“You’re acting way too unprofessional. We’re here with a reason” You whined, suddenly wanting to distance away from the other, but a tight hold on your hips didn’t allow that.

“Me? Unprofessional? Maybe I’d believe that if you weren’t the one grinding down on my thigh” Juyeon bit back with a generous amount of confidence, the one that people carried themselves with when they were aware of being right. The colorful lights hid the immediate flush that overtook your features. A quick look to the right proved the man that his words definitely had an effect.  

“So? Are you going to tell me or let a chance slip away?”

°•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° °•. ✿ .•° 

Aria and Yuri laid dead inside a big closet, their necks snapped and heads hanging in an unnatural way. Juyeon and you once again happened to be the most compatible teammates, getting the job done and leaving the club before anyone suspected a thing.  

The time between leaving and present passed by in a blur and way too fast. Or maybe it didn’t, maybe it was just the power of Juyeon’s soft touches and hungry kisses that made you forget all about it.

Currently pressed against a cold brick wall a few streets away from the nightclub, you enjoyed the attention the man was offering. It all felt unusual and new, but not in a bad way. The wall temperature greatly contrasted the one of the body pressed against you, creating an unusual but pleasant combination. Juyeon’s lips rarely stayed on yours, often wandering down to your jaw and juncture of shoulder. This time though, he didn’t care about the marks, pink bruises now decorating the expanse of your neck. With hands in his dark blue strands, you pulled Juyeon closer, moving in just the right ways to allow more access to the soft and undamaged skin.

It wasn’t clear why both assassins gave in to the sudden want for each other. There were no evident emotions to back up their actions, just a strong need that had to be fulfilled with no one else but the other. Some could suppose it was the consequence of their blunt actions from before, while others may argue that it was something much more meaningful. A relatively new, exciting state of mind and experience that obviously didn’t have to happen, yet it did. A slipup so to say - or at least both hoped that it was.

“How can you be this hot after just murdering someone?” The man asked breathlessly, a quiet chuckle leaving his lips that formed a slight smile. His sharp eyes looked at yours with a new kind of emotion, something you weren’t able to pinpoint just yet. Juyeon’s deep but quick breaths matched yours, both trying to take in as much air as possible in a short period of time.

“What can I say, I’m a natural at keeping people around my finger” You raised a pinky up, playing along, voice low and seductive. Truly, there were missions that required acting flirty and playing dirty, therefore your charm has developed quite a lot. Still, what you tried implicating at was the situation from earlier that night, when all those men gathered around you. There was no reason to expect a reaction from the other. Juyeon’s expression quickly changed into something that resembled a frown, but it disappeared just as fast, not allowing any time to make any remarks about it.

Suddenly, the thigh that was once again positioned between your legs flexed, making you flinch and unwillingly whine. The man smirked, closing in the distance again, but not enough for yet another kiss.

“Should I be scared to become one of those people, then?” He whispered, irises playing between your eyes and lips that were just a breath away. The intimate proximity that went on for way too long happened to have a negative effect on you. Gradually, a pinch of doubt and hesitance began clouding your mind, scolding it for being too carefree next to the other. They reminded of just who the man was, and that the game currently played was a dangerous one. Without much thought, like a reflex, your hand moved quick, retrieving a pocket knife and pointing the tip at Juyeon’s barely covered stomach.

A gasp of sincere shock left the man’s lips, eyes opening wide, as he scanned your face. With an indifferent voice, but a slightly different mind, you spoke.

“I don’t know, should you?”

It was impressive to see how much effect people had on each other. Despite being busy with constant planning and thinking, there was always space in both heads to think about each other. Occasional pondering about his lips on hers, or her hands in his hair – all intensifying the anticipation for the next time.

Juyeon often found himself rushing missions because he knew the female wasn’t busy at the moment. Whenever passing by the familiar building and a certain room had even the slightest bit of light in it, the boy would invite himself over. It appeared that Juyeon risked much more than the other, and definitely much more than he should’ve.

Just out of pure skepticism that underlined every action, you never directly planned any of the meetings, rather letting the other barge in or set time and date. It was easy to catch onto his habits and when to expect a knock at your entrance door. For added security, weapons were kept in secretive places for quick use if the man ever decided to turn on you. And although fighting a never-ending battle inside of your mind, you grew to anticipate the hidden meetings. His kisses were spreading fire throughout your body, words messing with your mind and touches offering pure euphoria.

There were occasions when the two of you would meet at the rooftop, one always back from a mission while the other waited patiently. Sometimes, Juyeon’s hands still dripped fresh blood, the male not willing to waste any time on cleaning them before rushing towards you. It was a special feeling knowing that the fingers that used to do such horrifying things caressed your skin so delicately.

Slowly but surely, some type of understanding was established between the two. Then, the whole relationship wasn’t purely based on physical connection, and it meant much more than a way to satisfy hormonal human needs. Periodic talks about present worries and bothers, as well as thoughts on current events, allowed them to get to know each other better. Alas, the connection never reached its highest level, as numerous obstacles stopped them from reaching it – biggest being the female's constant hesitation.

Objectively speaking, Juyeon let himself open much more than the other did, always easy on bringing up topics to discuss about and contemplate on. He also shared much more information about himself, many of them being trivial and harmless things, but still something you stoically held back on. Of course, that didn’t mean you were silent during two-way conversations, just pickier about what you wanted to share.

Juyeon understood that, and he appreciated everything you’ve told him. That compassion was the foundation that will slowly build a more trusting and open relationship in the future. You valued his way of acting, enjoying harmless discussions and gradually getting used to having a companion who became a part of your almost daily life.

With a little bit of effort from both sides, everything was going to work, or at least you hoped. You encouraged every passing meeting, every second together, to hit the wall of reluctance with as much force as possible – still, unfortunately, it stood strong.

Blue and Red created purple during their nights together, merging with the beautiful melody of the storm that only grew bigger the closer it got.

Thanks to the impeccable weather, it was slightly challenging to get to the roof this time. However, with master level acting, fake politeness and a little bit of luck, you were able to avoid suspicion from the residents you passed by. Most definitely, and fortunately, not a single soul knew that there was a sniper rifle packed in a rather sizeable guitar bag you carried. Along with its components such as silencer, optical sight, bipod, additional ammunition...

Once on top of the building, you immediately unpacked the bag’s contents. First of was an expensive, albeit small door jammer that was installed straight away, effectively sealing the entrance you just walked through. Trying it a couple of times just to make sure, you deemed it impossible to open. Next was the sniper.

Having done such a thing countless times before, it didn’t take you long to properly set and load the weapon with a set of new bullets. The fresh smell of metal filled the small space around. Hiding behind a pile of rubbish, you set the bipod behind the cornice, muzzle and barrel pointing towards the road your target was supposed to appear on soon.  

Then, like a lightning, you immediately withdrew back, sniper pulled way behind and body pressing flush against the ground. There was a sudden feeling of being noticed and even watched, to which you were always quick to react. Keeping low for as long as time allowed, you dismounted the bipod as it only made advancing more difficult. Slowly but surely, you moved around, setting everything up on another corner with tall plants and flowers. The aim wasn’t as clear as before, but it wasn’t too big of a problem. Yet, despite the natural cover doing its job relatively well, the dangerous feeling was still present.

Taking a quick risk, you took off the current optical sight and mounted another, angled one, that allowed you to look around without being too exposed. Since you were on the 11th floor, on the tallest building in the area, there was no way someone could’ve noticed you from the roads down below. Glancing over them quickly just to make sure, the theory was deemed correct – no pedestrians had their heads raised up and looking in this exact direction.

Looking at the sky, you searched for drones or any other objects that could be supervising the area (as that unfortunately, did happen before and they had to be destroyed manually, via a gun). Thankfully, there were none, but instead of making you feel relieved, it only intensified the anxiety previously felt. Where was it coming from?

All you needed to get the desired answer, was an accidental glance over the roof of the building right across from yours. There, behind a pile of wooden planks, metal bars and all other unnecessary trash, you noticed a barely noticeable, but suspicious movement. Locking eyes on the exact spot and rolling the plastic on the sight, you zoomed in, getting a clearer image.  

Shockingly enough, there was a barrel peeking right between the two wooden planks, and it was pointed right at you.  

And then it quietly fired.

The bullet would’ve missed anyway, but thankfully, you moved down just in time, watching it penetrate the wall behind. Your heart leaped, pumping blood faster and kicking against your chest, almost as if it tried jumping out. Strange type of fear enveloped your body. It wasn’t fright for own life, rather unpleasant surprise that fueled thoughts of being outplayed. At this stage, you knew very little. Was it only one person? Were there more people? Were you cornered?

For whatever reason, the person on the other building continued firing, twice to be exact – yet both bullets hit the exact same spot as the first one. It didn’t make sense at all, but at least ir allowed keeping track of the opponent.

In a quick act, you moved, peeking just enough to expect to be fired at, but it never happened. Moving once again and receiving nothing in return, you positioned the sniper and looked through the sight for the nth time, trying to confirm if they were still on the same location. And that’s when you noticed.

A blue haired man peeking out, head cocked to the side, his sharp eyes and smirk offering a teasing, harmless expression.

Rage, disappointment and distrust overtook your body fast, blood boiling on a temperature higher than before. All emotions served as a strong reality check, a shot through the heart and mind, reminding of just who you were. They helped strengthen the invisible wall you were so desperately trying to weaken, ruining almost all of the progress made. Still, their consequences that will definitely leave a mark were your own fault and no one else’s.  

A drastic switch happened. While following Juyeon’s movements through the sight, you unconsciously aligned his head with the red dot in the middle. That person was suddenly someone who made you feel threatened, anxious, alarmed, and not the one who was supposed to help achieve change. You expected so much from him, yet all you currently felt was pure let down and anger. The inner battle was as hectic and loud as ever. A finger creeped up to the trigger, trembling as it came in contact with cold metal.  

Before the pull happened, your phone vibrated almost unnoticeably. It apparently did the right, desired trick, as it effectively broke the dangerous, fury-driven daze. With an audible sigh, you remembered who the actual target of the day was, aim moving downwards in a quick motion. Just as predicted and on time, a big black jeep turned the corner, driving into the street underneath you. Getting into a more comfortable position, you trailed the movement of the black vehicle.

First and only to come out of the car was the exact target. His appearance was immediately followed by two quick, (thanks to the silencers, somewhat) muffled gunshots, the bullets hitting just right. With two holes in his big shiny head, the man was sent falling down, momentarily holding onto the open door before faceplanting the cold concrete. Blood seeped out, painting the previously grey ground in a dark red, almost black color.

But the thing was, you only shot once.

Albeit caught off guard with the shocking realization, there was way too little time to get lost, every second more precious than the last one. Hurriedly, you deconstructed the sniper, pushing everything inside the guitar bag in a careless manner. When done, you moved towards the door and took the jammer off in record time before storing it inside the carriage as well.  

A quick glance was thrown in Juyeon’s direction, but unfortunately there was no sight of said man. For whatever reason, you were somewhat glad.

In a slow and relaxed manner, with calculated steps, you took the stairs again, making sure to appear just as natural and neutral as before. Thankfully, almost no one occupied the hallways. On the 5th floor, there were two elderly women happily boasting about their children, beside who you passed with a polite bow. You even smiled at them, but the expression was deemed unseen thanks to the black mask that covered your face.

Luckily, another semi-smooth mission was done with. You were out of the building and away from the scene in a couple of minutes, with no doubts about being seen or suspected. The only bothersome thing was the sudden change of feelings towards the blue haired man. A dangerous and slightly embarrassing switch could’ve had a very tragic outcome.

And of course, it wasn't worth missing out on the fact that for the first time, both had the same target.

You agreed on further meetings, although they were much different than those in the past. A drastic change in atmosphere was present from the first second, yet neither really wanted to comment on it. Despite being close physically, Juyeon didn’t feel warmth coming from you anymore, or at least not in the same amount as before. The male felt your body shiver under a cold gust of wind, but your skin didn’t feel any colder underneath his fingertips. When he tried offering you a jacket to cover up, you denied with a half-hearted smile.

It was unreasonably late, around three in the morning, which meant the city was at its calmest. There were less people on the streets than fingers on both hands and almost no apartments had their lights on. The moon was the most trustful source of light, its soft hues illuminating everything and making it more beautiful.

Nowadays, fewer words were exchanged as well. Silence was common, both bodies quietly cherishing what was left of a cracked relationship rather than trying to fix (or ruin?) it with meaningless talk. Leaned against the male’s shoulder, you tried forcefully letting go of tension to feel a piece of that carelessness that once existed between you. Truthfully, there was a willpower to continue fighting and experiencing the strange kind of joy, but there were so, so many obstacles. And most of them were created by you.

Neither had the explanation as to why this was still an ongoing thing, why neither gave up despite the little flame burning its last few seconds. No matter how long you searched for the answer, it just didn’t appear. A deep sigh resonated in a small bubble of space.

The biggest and constant bother was that invisible wall, still standing proud. Apparently, it grew taller and stronger every time you remembered the unfortunate event from two weeks ago. As time passed by, you became more skeptical, giving time and attention to thoughts you weren’t fond of. They whispered and laughed at a poor being for daring to experience something it wasn’t supposed to in the first place.

You didn’t even look Juyeon in the eyes anymore, always finding a nearby rock or wall crack a more attractive sight. Why? The fear of looking up and seeing no emotion in the man’s eyes was a fearful thought, mighty enough to forbid you from even trying. And why was it affecting you so much, why were you still holding onto it? You didn’t know.

Hell, your fucked-up mind was daring you to kill the man and he didn’t even know about it.

Juyeon, much like always, put more evident effort into the whole thing. It looked as if the male was aware of the trigger for this sudden stumble (not fall!), and was ready to give it his all to fix everything. Immense guilt was evident on his face, and if you looked up just once, you’d be able to read it off his beautiful features.

Despite your mental distancing and defiance, he never gave up transparently trying. You being there with him every night was all the hope Juyeon needed to continue. Even if you weren’t as willing to see him the next day, Juyeon would knock on your door. Even if you weren’t in the mood to talk, he’d ask a question about one of your favorite topics. The assassin wasn’t religious (and truthfully, how could he be?), but every night he’d pray for this tough period to end already. If for nothing else, then to have your eyes lock with his one last time.

Overall, these last few nights were a weird type of battlefield. Juyeon’s hand moved up to your shoulder, occasionally rubbing down your arm, hoping to feel just a bit of warmth there. You’d allow it, sighing and leaning into his hold, trying to, for the nth time, force a bit of feeling back.  

Either way, the two waited for a beautiful sunrise before disappearing in two different directions.

You should’ve believed the tension that thickened with each word the other said. You should’ve refused and backed out from this exact job when not even one person in the room appeared familiar. But it didn’t happen.

For the first time in an incredibly long time, the employers weren’t a part of a mafia or drug dealing gang. That much was disclosed, with a rude comment that it wasn’t your job to know anything more about them, anyway. It had your blood boiling and eyes squinting suspiciously, irises locking down every of the five men present.

Their detailing about the job that had to be done was just as, if not more, brief. Not believing that someone expected you to work properly with just three sentences of information, you asked a couple of times to have them repeated. Every time, the leader of the group sighed louder, eyes rolling back in an over-exaggerated manner, before turning around and giving a knowing look to the man beside. Were they joking around with you?

When asked about the basis behind this assassination, in hope of getting at least a little bit of early lead on who you’re dealing with, the man offered nothing useful in return. Instead of giving a proper reason, or at least putting effort into making a believable story up, he threw something senseless right at your face. Upon asking how you’re supposed to work without knowing how the target looks like, they replied with:

“They’ll be the only ones there, guaranteed. It's just a little game of hide and seek... with a twist. Isn’t that exciting?”

You were spared the detail that the target was just as (if not more,) experienced than you at these “murder plays”, and they demanded huge amounts of caution. Three main points were specified, the address, time and the fact that this was an extremely dangerous mission. The legitimacy of that information remained unknown, as they once again failed to give a coherent explanation. Despite the last point serving as a warning, you suddenly weren’t given a chance to back out.  

“Excuse me?” You said, disbelief all but dripping from those two simple words. “You’re sending me against another assassin, did I connect the dots correctly?”

“You’re a smart one”

“I don’t want to work on this case” You denied, getting ready to leave, when the other cleared his throat.

“We want this person taken out at any cost, and we particularly chose you for it. In the end, we did hear quite a lot of positive reviews... therefore you seem to be the right person, no?” The man tried flattering you, but his voice was laced with venom, lips moving slowly to form an unnatural, wicked grin. He wasn’t looking at you with fake friendliness anymore, rather an emotion that could soon turn dangerous.

“That doesn’t matter to me, I have the right to not accept the job. My signature is not yet written on the papers” A small pile of documents resting on the table was pointed at, endless rows of black text only missing a simple name written in ballpoint pen. The other chuckled lightly, gaze turning threatening in a blink time as he lifted a blue pen and spun it around his thick fingers.

“That’s easily dealt with” The weight of his words hit immediately, a shocking situation that you’re dealing with for the first time. There was no training for this and lack of experience was making you a nervous mess.  

Shuffling body mass from one leg to the other, your eyes remained on the ground, hands anxiously intertwining. There was nothing that came to mind that would help the current position, and you wondered what all of this was about. No one has ever forced you into working for them, much less threatened to sign the contract in your name.

The man chuckled once again, saying nothing but thinking a lot. This was it, they had you.

“Don’t you want this?” Another male spoke, his frame moving from the doorway and opening a black suitcase on the table. The carriage itself probably cost a fortune, as it was made of expensive leather, and the mouth-watering amount of money inside was as alluring as ever. It would probably be the best paid work ever. Still, you managed to look up from the bills and into the leader’s eyes with strong confidence.

“Does it even matter? You’re forcing me to do it anyway” The words barely made it past your tongue, their weight way too heavy. The freedom you had while working was something greatly cherished (for a lack of better words), and it was suddenly taken away. It almost felt as if nothing was in your power anymore. Fearful shivers ran down your spine.

“Well then, glad we got that behind ourselves. Sign here”

The whole process of sealing the deal was done in a matter of seconds. Your signature was scribbled in the ugliest way possible, and the pen was thrown to the other side of the room as a form of protest. The weak plastic broke due to the force of impact, the ink painting a patch of white wall blue. Turning around to leave, you stomped with heavy steps, glaring at each and every male in the room for the last time. Then, one step away from the doorway, you heard it.

Your name. Your real name.

The one no one ever used.

“Good luck, you’ll need it”

The door closed behind in a loud thud, not allowing you enough time to properly react. Just once your face hit the fresh air, did the heaviness of the decision fall upon your body. What have you done? Who were those people and why did they refuse to introduce themselves?  

Doubts filled your head – were your employers suddenly against you? Were they suddenly hyperaware of your knowledge, or scared that you’ll turn to the other side, become their enemy? Was this actually a ploy made to get you out of the game? The thought made you gulp audibly; wondering if but knowing that it was too late to turn around and tear the contract paper into thousands of pieces.

There’s also no way ditching the mission came into discussion. With the way they acted, god only knew if each and every step of yours was watched on. Holy shit.

The walk home was a long one, not particularly because time passed by slow, but because you purposely chose the longer path. Eyes filling with tears, your reaction was one of pity. Reaching up to brush the watery substance away from the corner of your eyes, you looked at the shiny finger. This was the first time in a long while that something managed to bribe out the emotion of grief. And for the first time ever, it was for no one else but yourself.

Tiny rocks sounded under your shoes just quietly enough to not ruin the perfect sneak up. The sky was grey, thin but overlapping clouds blocking sun from coming your way. Luckily, it meant you could move with more freedom, not having to worry about unnecessary shadows and their power to ruin cover.

The first abandoned building you were heading towards was huge, with main walls almost completely ruined. Chunks of concrete, bricks and other unnecessary trash created stable cover that you’d usually be thankful for, yet now dreaded.  

This was the exact address you were given, but the trick was that it happened to be a whole wide field with two abandoned buildings. On top of that, the opponent’s identity was still unknown, therefore you had no knowledge of who to look for and where. For all you knew, they could already be in position and aiming right at your head. “It’s just a little game of hide and seek, with a twist”. Instinctively, you ducked behind the nearest tree, feeling the heart strengthen its beats. Carefully and in calculated pace, the advance towards the entrance was continued.

There was a huge hole in the ceiling of every floor. It reached all the way up to the destroyed rooftop, almost as if something heavy fell from above and demolished the concrete surface. With back pressed flush against a piece of wall that still stood strong, you took a deep breath and reached down for a favorite of weapons, your trusted knife.

Suddenly, there was a strange type of noise coming from an unknown direction, resonating throughout the whole building. In the midst of a less careful and more panicked moment, while trying to retrieve the blade, it sliced through the delicate flesh of your calf. A quietly yelp of pain escaped your lips, hand immediately stretching to press on the wound. The feeling of blood running down your leg was accompanied by burning pain, and you tried ignoring it while climbing up the stairs.

Thanks to the special soft soles of the boots, your steps weren’t heard over the hard ground. They also didn’t put much force on your calf, therefore the advance to the 1st and 2nd floor went by almost without a problem. Occasionally, due to a bad step, the wound would reopen, another flow of blood quick to rush out along with a thousand silent curses.

The doorways on both floors were as demolished as the rest of the building, preventing anyone from walking through and forcing you to move up to the 3rd. Dodging and crouching down at places where you’d be exposed to the outside, you all but crawled up.

The third floor seemed different; way less disintegrated than the rest. Once there, you looked around and through the now available doorway. The corridor was very long, filled with wooden planks that once resembled doors leading to empty rooms. On the other side, about fifty meters away, there was another stairway, much like the one you took just now.

Alas, despite the burn in your calf, there was suddenly that alarming feeling of being watched.

Immediately ducking behind cover, you gripped the knife tight and took a few deep but quick breaths, planning the next move. Someone was definitely in there, and the rapid heartbeat was making sure you were constantly aware of it.

The feeling gradually subdued the more time passed by. You looked around attentively, once again taking notice of the still gaping hole on the ceiling. There was no one watching you through it though, so the trigger must’ve been from either outside or down the hallway. Remembering the noise from earlier, you completely crossed out the possibility of them being outside.

Which of course, wasn’t in your favor at all.

Peeking out just so the top of the head showed, you tried bribing out shots or any kind of attack from the other – something that would indicate where they were located. Receiving nothing in return was slightly confusing, but it also offered a pinch of hope. Maybe they moved, which meant you had a chance to sneak up behind them, or maybe they’re just hiding, which meant it could all go down very fast.

With a hurt leg that was slowly growing numb, there wasn’t a lot of time you had left before retreat was necessary. And never once did that happen. Therefore, trying to protect pride and get this done just to never see those nasty men again, you tried winging it. Pressing the wound one last time, you whispered a prayer before taking off through the open doorway.

There was just enough cover to move around in semi-safety, back turned towards one of the walls. Your eyes perceptively scanned every corner, every pile of rocks which could offer any type of protection. Occasionally, ignoring the pain, you’d jump inside one of the rooms to your right, hoping to catch the other off guard. The knife in your hands was gripped tight, leather handle shining slightly due to a thin layer of sweat coating it.

Tension was as high as ever, air becoming thick to an almost suffocating degree. For the first time, you felt undoubtedly scared. Your mind was clouded with a thousand racing thoughts, all of which only intensified the sensation of panic. The more time passed, the more your eyes aimlessly wandered around empty spaces, growing more tired and unable to notice possibly important details.

The amount of blood you lost was probably in the red zone, moving around becoming more challenging with every step. Still, doing the best possible job was always a requirement, therefore you used last spurts of strength to enter the 2nd to last room in the long hallway.

Once again met with a different terrain, you immediately noticed a demolished doorway, connecting the room to the one right beside. Upon quickly deeming the current room safe, you crouched down, sneaking towards the linking point. As if sensing danger, you patiently waited a couple of moments, trying to breathe as quietly as possible. If not for the protective leather handle, the blade would’ve sliced through your hand due to the impossibly strong grip.

Someone on the other side coughed. A curse followed right after.  

Both moved rapidly, reaching out for the other through the doorway.

You were held at gunpoint, jaw feeling the pressure of a cold muzzle on it, while a strong hand grabbed your hair, pulling it back. Your own hands grabbed the other’s collar, tugging down while holding the thin, sharp blade against their most sensitive point, Adam’s apple.

Neither moved.

Blue watched Red with surprised eyes, irises playing inside the broad space of dark brown. Your gaze tried locking the man down, scanning those beautiful features while still avoiding his sharp eyes. Unexpectedly, a weak wave of emotion hit, bringing back a piece of what you wanted for a very long time. There was a slight urge to reach out and caringly caress his sharp cheeks, cup his jaw and kiss his lips.

But there was a gun pressed against your skin, and a knife against his.

And neither moved.

The war started. Horrid battles began and ripped your heart piece by piece. Everything was on the line and an indecisive mind was as dangerous as ever. The realization that this man, despite everything that happened, was the last person you wanted to harm, hurt the most. It was the quick moment of reminisce about the old times, when everything was just starting. He was the only one who gauged new, thrilling, pleasant emotions and made them feel like they’re exactly what you needed. And it was the truth.

But the weight of the weapon on your jaw reminded of the not-so-bright moments as well. A flashback of the day you were teasingly shot at sent shivers down your spine, feelings of pure anxiety and fear coming back in an instant. Rightfully so, they were strong and rivaled the positive ones, trying to outweigh them and take control over your next actions. The man was still someone who dared pull the trigger on you, dared taking that type of unpredictable risk.  

If he dared pull it again, you dared slit his flawless, soft skin. But embarrassingly enough, you’d never have enough strength to be the first one, no matter how impulse-driven. Harming him definitely was your last wish. The thought of it even being a possibility made your eyes water, tears welling up and falling like never before, straining your soft cheeks.

Juyeon’s heart ached as well. Sadly, it opposed two separate and strong thunders. The first one hit hard, touching the intimate topic of his feelings towards you. It wasn’t a secret that you’ve changed him as well. In a word of gloom, blood and violence, you made everything disappear and instead of war, brought peace to his mind. Most of the time, it was enough for Juyeon to know that you were there, and every worry would fade away. The mutual understanding was then something he grew accustomed to and happy for. The male didn’t feel like he didn’t deserve attention anymore.

But what hit even harder was the fact that Juyeon was aware of your current thought process, and the guilt once again ate him away, bite by bite.

Carefully, the grip on your hair was released, gloved hand reaching up, thumb wiping a falling tear. Rough material nearly scraped your skin, a frown appearing on the other’s face almost immediately. Juyeon bit down on the glove, taking it off before placing his hand back on your warm cheek. The act made your eyes water even more, lips trembling and throat constricting to stop loud whimpers from escaping.

Still, the weapons didn’t move.

“Juyeon” You suddenly whined, finally finding strength to say his name. Lightheadedness was slowly overtaking your whole body, vision blurring fast. The pain in your leg although still present was long forgotten. Every letter carried huge weight, every taken breath felt like the last and you wondered if taking that bullet hurt any less. Unconsciously, your hand began shaking, resulting in the thin blade moving against the man’s delicate skin. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but Juyeon visibly and audibly gulped under the metal.

“They... they set us up to kill each other, Juyeon” The realization hurt like a sudden kick to the gut. It was supposed to happen sooner or later. All suspicions you weren’t willing to think about came out to be true and the terror spread through your body in a strong wave. Everything made sense – why those men weren’t willing to introduce themselves, why refusal wasn't an option and why no proper explanation was given to you. They were aware that if you knew even one of those things, you wouldn’t have dared to show up in the first place.

Or would you? Would they be able to push just the right buttons and play with your mind as they were right now?

You were set to break apart.

Do it. Don’t do it. Do. Don’t. Past and present were clashing together, habits and new found emotions. For the first time in a while, you felt somewhat disgusted with your job. Yet, the wheels were turning, reminding that you’ve been doing this for years and now was no time to give up under the pressure. It was so, so easy to end this all, much like hundred times before. Swallow down the hard feeling and contractions of your heart, cut through like you’re used to. Emotions were just an accident, an error in the system of a machine.

All this time though, Juyeon’s hand remained on your cheek, and only now was it only noticeable that he wasn’t holding you in place. The muzzle of the gun wasn’t as strong on your jaw as it was before. Juyeon wasn’t going to actively fight or harm you either, that much was clear. This had to end somehow, and the male was about to use his last possible chance.

“Look at me” The voice he said it with was soft, but underlined with a certain type of authority. For whatever reason, as if under a spell, your eyelids opened, irises immediately locking on his.

And then it all crashed down.

All the doubts and hesitation were immediately gone. Your hand moved, putting pressure on the weapon for just a quick moment before letting go completely. Heavy blade fell onto the ground with a loud and high-pitched noise, one that echoed throughout the whole building. The invisible wall was no more.

At the same time, Juyeon released the gun, hefty metal hitting concrete with just as loud of a thud. When the pressure disappeared and the current situation processed properly, your body went numb. Legs giving out, you almost collapsed on the ground. Luckily, Juyeon managed to catch you just in time. The male lowered the smaller body onto the ground, holding it carefully.

Your head hung low; eyes wandering all around the room, but not focusing on one spot. This was the first mission you’ve ever failed and the fear of possible consequences was scary.

Juyeon’s hands enveloped your face, just holding it firmly. Neither had an obvious cheerful expression, but there was a lack of certain something that made both seem more at ease. He caressed the soft skin, examining your face that was blank of any emotion. It was the moment of complete calm.

Upon focusing on the man, you noticed a clear red line just underneath his Adam’s apple. Instinctively, you reached out, running a smooth finger over it and listening to Juyeon’s strained hiss. A new wave of tears welled up in your eyes, yet the other was quick to wipe it away.

“Can you listen to me?” He questioned, with a gaze that suddenly turned more serious, albeit none the less caring. The breathing rhythm was slow and deep, almost as if he was trying to calm down in the fastest way possible. With a slight nod, you replied, hoping to keep enough consciousness to listen until the end.

“Let’s escape this hell” You would’ve definitely reacted greatly to the proposition, if it weren’t for the lack of energy in your body. Instead, the reply was a simple, perplexed look, a result of not quite processing what was talked about.

“Escape, disappear, perish, they’ll never know. They’ll never find us because... because they’ll think we’re dead. Isn’t that what they wanted? To wipe us off the list?” The tone Juyeon used was a hopeful one, as if the man already had everything planned and was ready to go right this second. And maybe, just maybe, that was the case.

“We’ll move countries and get new identities – I have a couple of friends that could and will help us with that. We’ll start a new life away from... away from all of this, because we can’t stay” Gradually, his words became more rushed, too many thoughts and too little time to wrap them up. “We can’t go back. They’ll kill us themselves, you know that, right?”

Juyeon was right. In the planned scenario, one of you was supposed to die today, while the other would’ve been finished off upon reporting the case. You’ve thought about it many times, making up scenarios and trying to find a way to get out of them. No one has ever trained you in that field or shown any ways of dealing with it, and there was an exact, fucked-up reason for it.

“Or we could just...” His eyes wandered off to the two weapons lying on the ground, tears welling up fast. There’s no way that was the only other option, yet...

For a moment, you glanced at the objects as well, not out of interest, but pure disgust. Just a mere thought of what could happen made your stomach twirl and heart hurt. Turning around to look at the other, you noticed a teardrop that made it down his jaw. Wiping it off gently, you smiled, speaking in a low and calm whisper.

“No... no. Let’s... let’s go. Let’s disappear together, wherever that takes us, Juyeon” The mind finally accepted the sudden feelings that were no longer confined and hidden. The imaginary, but nonetheless strong, cage and restrictions were no more. You finally felt proper euphoria of freedom.

Speechless, but immensely happy, that’s what Juyeon was in that exact moment. His chest abruptly wasn’t enough space for the organ that beat at an incredible pace, with new-found strength. Tightening his hold, the male pulled you towards his chest, into a first, proper hug. Your hands sneaked around his body, trying to squeeze as hard as possible and relish the beautiful moment. In such an intimate position, it was possible to feel that exact excited heartbeat of the male.

After a long period of comfortable silence, you quietly spoke into his chest, “Please piggyback me... wherever... I don’t think I can walk”  

“Oh my god, you’re hurt?!” Juyeon noted in an alarming tone, eyes immediately scanning your body and finally noticing a streak of red liquid on the concrete underneath your leg. He loudly cursed at himself for not seeing it earlier, hand reaching down to press on the wound. Although not fresh, it still gushed out more blood, earning another hiss from you.

“Yeah, no shit mister... fuck be careful! I wouldn’t go all baby... and soft on you if I... I didn’t feel like fainting. You were lucky today” You bit back jokingly, trying to keep the light atmosphere that was slowly coming down its high. Juyeon’s head shook at that, a quiet ‘you’re not in position to speak like that’ passing through his barely parted lips. A pair of hands worked fast on tying a thin jacket around your calf to stop further bleeding.  

“How?” He asked, confused but curious at the same time.

“I’d rather not talk about it” Your head turned away from the other, irises locking onto one of many holes on the wall. The male chuckled at that, checking the knot before standing up with knees half bent. He helped you stand up and climb up on his back, strong arms instantly gripping the back of your thighs.

“Bet you hurt yourself, clumsy”

“Yeah, bet”  

With a loud, content sigh, your head lowered onto Juyeon’s back, eyes closing as you finally drifted off to sleep. There, on the closed, but broad battlefield, the two warriors accepted their faith. They made up their minds for a different future, something neither were sure how to approach, but were more than ready to experience together. A future that didn’t revolve around blood, murder and secrecy, one that would allow both to heal and live their lives breathing properly.

Quatervois, a heavy change no one expected. A decision made fast, but a result of long, aimless thought and experience. And some may say this was deemed to happen sooner or later, but was it? If things were just slightly different...  

Guess we would never know.

AN: well... here it is? truthfully speaking, i’m very satisfied with this work, and i love every piece of it, but it has been giving me so much stress oh my god... writing has taken me so much time because i tried so hard to make it perfect and i really hope reading almost 22k of this was worth it, and that you’ve enjoyed it. at some parts, i’ve maybe focused on the main female character too much, but i think that to understand her character, it’s important to have an in-depth point of view. i’d really appreciate it (to the moon and back) if you guys could leave feedback for this one. thank you so so so much for reading, have a good day <3

[arlakos]

Marinette’s list of Parisian Warcrimes (Or why I need to vent about all the bad stuff Marinette has done)

Yeah, I’m doing this.

People be talking on Tumblr about why Marinette is the best character in the show and talking shit about every other character, from Adrien so I think I'll do what I do best and piss off people.

 You want another Adrien salt Fic about why he’s a stalker to validate your sensitivity to everything that triggers you?

 You want another AU where Chloe goes full-on villain and asshole mode so that you can be just another Astruc stan?

 Do you want another Lukanette fanfic because Luka is the ‘Better Adrien’ even though all he does is play a guitar?

TOO BAD! THIS TIME WE BE DOING SOME MARINETTE SALT AND WE GOING IN HARD! WE ARE GONNA BE RUNNING THIS BLUE HAIRED GIRL INTO THE GROUND THE SAME WAY THE FANDOM TREATED THE OTHER CHARACTERS!

THIS IS PAYBACK FOR ALL THE SALT FICS THAT HAVE BEEN FORCED TO SEE THAT DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO USE NATURAL LOGIC!

(And I'm gonna love every bit of it)

So without further ado, Marinette is sentenced to be salted on the following charges:

Having a planner that tracks Adrien's every location/activity so she can stalk him at all times and actively uses (Stormy Weather).

Using her powers to prevent Adrien from dancing with another person (yes, even if that person is Chloe) (Bubbler)

Stealing Adrien's phone (Copycat)

Reading other peoples letters, even if they did throw it in the garbage (Dark Cupid)

Abandoning Paris (Ladybug Origins) (Yes I know people are going to be angry at me especially for this one, but if Everyone gives shit for Chat Noir for doing the same thing in Syren, then Ladybug gets it as well. No double standards on this post)

Literally destroying Max’s hopes and dreams by beating him in a game entering a tournament just so that she could be with Adrien. I don’t care who was better in the game or won, Marinette had no prior interest in the tournament and even knew how much Max wanted to enter, yet still done it anyway the second she realized Adrien was there. Yeah, others will say its cute that she wanted to be with Adrien, but if she really wanted to spend time with him, all she had to do was, you know, ASK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!! (Gamer)

Ladybug not listening to advice on where the akuma is all because she didn't like Chloe. who made a small lie before to her. Yeah Ladybug, someone making a little lie to save themselves embarrassment is really valid enough of a reason for their opinion and advice to be worth nothing. And it caused another akuma, good for you. (Antibug)

Oooh, a big one...Marinette stalked Lila and Adrien pretty much all day, under the guise of ‘not liking liars’ (yeah right) and once she had a ‘valid’ excuse to pretty much ruin Lila’s chances of wooing Adrien (whether or not she had an actual chance is irrelevant) she transformed into Ladybug and ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSED HER AND HUMILIATED HER right in front of Adrien, when she could have just pulled her aside and just told her off in private and quietly so that she wouldn’t do it again. When Adrien questions her says she did it with the excuse of ‘not liking liars’. (Volpina)

Not telling Fu who the book belonged too when questioned on where she got it. I get that this was an excuse to prolong the shows run time, but if you were going to bring this up in the show and pretend that what Marinette did wasn’t a big deal, then they shouldn’t have added it in the first place. (The Collector)

Not bothering to tell her grandmother the truth and sneaking off to hang with her friends. (Befana)

Ladybug leading on Chat Noir. If she really didn't want to go, she could have just outright said No and be done with it, instead of just a ‘maybe’. (Glaciator)

Ladybug Literally not telling Chat Noir about the Guardian or where the hell all these heroes are coming from. There was literally no excuse, Adrien didn’t need to wait ‘until he was ready’, he literally became a hero the same time as Ladybug, it wasn’t like he was ‘the new guy’ and Ladybug was ‘the more experienced one’. I can give this to Fu as well, but I still feel that Ladybug should’ve told him regardless from the get go, she trusted a man she hadn’t properly met until 1 season later more than her own partner who stuck with her since day one. (Syren)

Taking pollen away from Chloe... yeah this really doesnt count. I just simply liked Chloe’s face in Malediktator when she saw Pollen again.

Talking shit about Chloe behind her back then acting all friendly to her as Ladybug when she needed her to become Queen Bee. Not really bad, it's just incredibly rude. (Maledictator)

Again, the same shit as Stormy Weather, instead of being punished for having the planner that details every bit of Adriens day to day activities, she gets rewarded by the writers. Not so much a Marinette crime as it is and ASS-truc crime. (Troublemaker)

Snooping through Marcs Private book, annoying him when he wanted to be isolated, and just straight up not having Marc give him the script himself. She could have tried just bringing Marc to Nathaniel and showing him the script together. (Reverser).

Making a lie about organizing a party when she definitely didn’t plan one. Yes, even if she was going to do it afterwards and planned to make the pastries herself for the party. She really is a hypocrite when she comes to lying, even though that’s a personality trait the writer's press is the reason why she hates Lila. (Season 2 Finale-Catalyst and Mayura).

Sabotaging Kagami’s attempts at being with Adrien. (Animaestro)

Marinette telling her Grandpa that rice bread is better than wheat bread. Anybody who has tasted bread would say otherwise. Although to be fair I blame Tom for this and this isn’t really as bad as the others (Bakerix)

Marinette throws Chat under the bus by pretending she loves him and leaving him to face Tom when the entire thing was her fault. I know she did it to protect her identity, but it still was an ass thing to do, and Chat found Marinette in her own house, Marinette could have used any excuse, including but not limited to, baked goods. (Weredad)

Marinette... LITERALLY... TRIED TO BREAK INTO ADRIEN’S HOME... ALL BECAUSE LILA WAS THERE...if the fireman was smarter than most other characters in the show he could’ve literally called the cops on her, leading to her getting arrested and Gabriel (or even Adrien) filing a restraining order against her. That and she steals Juleka’s bike. Not cool dude. (Oni-Chan)

Marinette not making it very clear to Chloe that she can’t get the miraculous back under any circumstances due to her exposed identity, especially after Chloe claims she’ll need them again. (Miraculer)

Marinette sneaks into the boy’s party despite wanting bro time, all because she wanted another botched attempt to confess to Adrien. (Party Crasher)

THAT CREEPY SCENE WITH THE ‘ADRIEN WAX STATUE’. I dont want to talk about it. You know which one I'm talking about. If you don’t, thank god, but IF YOU THINK THAT WAS CUTE IN ANY WAY OR THAT ITS ADRIEN FAULT BECAUSE HE STOOD STILL, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED. (god i still have nightmares) (Puppeteer 2)

Not really a crime, but talking literally all the miraculi when you only needed a few. What would happen if she screwed up and Hawkmot got all the miraculous, or lost a few for the Akuma to obtain? (Kwamibuster)

Marinette (or Lady Noire) being an absolute dick to Misterbug during the entire time they were fighting Reflekdoll, insulting Misterbug for misusing his power when she does the same thing and claiming Misterbugs usual job is ‘easy’. Yeah...no. Fuck you Lady Noire, go eat a cataclysm to the face (Reflekdoll)

Marinette sabotaging Friendship day for Kagami just because she didnt want the latter to see Adrien.. at all. (Ikari Gozen)

Claiming Adrien is a good guitarist when Luka is an actual one. Not a crime, just dumb (Desperada)

Giving a Miraculous to Adrien when she can’t even control herself around him and could be distracted (Desperada)

Being too cute in that picture Marinette and Adrien sleeping together on the train. Yes i know this isn’t a crime, i do like some stuff about her, i just think the pic is really cute. (Startrain)

(Look at it, they’re adorkable. Awww....)

(Wait, aren’t I supposed to be salty?)

NOW, for the biggest crime of them all...

Literally not confessing to Adrien even once. Aside from the fact its turned the ‘romance part’ of the show into a joke, Marinette not telling Adrien the truth already or lying about her feelings is the reason we have the ‘Marinette is just a good friend meme’. No wonder he thinks you are ‘just a friend’. THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM. 

My evidence? EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!!

...

Ahhhh. Much better.

Well, now that I have successfully gotten rid of all that anger and salt and manifested it into a physical memento of my anger for this show and its main character, I’m going to relax while people get mad and triggered that I insulted the ‘Perfect Marinette’ and leave me angry messages. For all those that listened and don’t hate me or even agree with what I have said, thanks for reading my large amount of vented writing. I hope you have a pleasant day.

Let's hope for season 4 of Miraculous to be better now that Zag is back. The fandom knows we don't need another salty season.

[gascon-en-exil]

But What If You Want to Come Out on Vers Bottom?: A “Coming Out on Top” Review (Part 2)

Part 1

The main substance of Coming Out on Top - and around 80% of its wank material - lies in its main story love interests, so each of them deserves a dedicated section for review and...erotic evaluation, if you will. It would be much too cluttered to try to cover all six in one post however, so this one will only include the first three with Part 3 to follow with the remainder. Note that I’ll be doing these in alphabetical order, except for the sixth who was added in an update and whose route comes with some mechanical differences that warrant leaving him for last. I wouldn’t want to seem biased, would I? But I’ll be ranking them from most to least favorite at the end anyway.

Also, if anyone is wondering why most of my screenshots are from dialogue scenes rather than CGs, it’s because there are remarkably few CGs in this game that are both interesting enough to include in a review and tame enough for Tumblr’s censorship standards.

Alex: Mark Makes the Grade (With His Ass)

And how fitting it is that I get to start with Alex, fresh off over a year of involvement in the fandom of Fire Emblem: Three Houses and all its exaggerated pearl-clutching over that game’s teacher/student relationships. That’s exactly what Alex’s romance with Mark is, begun under more innocuous circumstances wherein Alex judges Mark’s alcohol preferences (the uncultured barbarian favors whiskey, and has nothing to say if you have Mark order a glass of presumably passable cabernet) but then progressing rapidly to hot for teacher territory once Mark discovers that Alex is his anatomy professor. As expected a handful of jokes - and one sex scene, kind of - hinge upon Alex’s field of expertise, but compared to the other routes of CooT this one is remarkably tame. It’s the only one in which it’s impossible to have sex with the love interest during the game and still get his ending, and the story requires the player to thread a fine line between expressing attraction to the man and respecting his professional boundaries. Alex is nothing if not ethical, almost to a fault, and the game also doesn’t allow you to lose sight of how strange his connection with Mark is...allegedly, anyway. I personally don’t see much issue with it, when Mark is of age (this isn’t even the largest age gap of the main love interests) and about to graduate. Eh, I’ll chalk it up to a cultural difference and move on.

The plot of the route also pivots around the potential scandal to be found in some hot one-on-one anatomy lessons, as Mark finds himself embroiled in the cutthroat world of tenured professorships and overworked postgraduate toadies moonlighting as paparazzi. I guess I lucked out in my much more reasonable graduate advisors, but I think I would have taken well to snooping around in men’s locker rooms looking for hot gay action/blackmail material. With all that going on it’s little wonder that there’s no real sex to be had on the full route, and that the one potential steamy encounter Mark can have with Alex in the professor’s office swiftly ends the romance then and there. I suppose it’s worth noting that Alex is also the only primary love interest who will never bottom for Mark in any encounter the player gets to see, so props if you’re looking for a total top. He’ll give head though, so that’s nice.

That said however, I can’t help but feel as though CooT wants to have its cake and eat it too when it comes to the teacher/student fucking. Amidst everyone being reasonable and ethical about the situation Mark can have a dream in which Alex fingers him and gives him a prostate orgasm as a live demonstration during a lecture - unquestionably hitting some of those teacher crush buttons even as it comes with the easy out of being a dream sequence. I’ve also seen reactions to this route labeling it as an example of the type of lover/beloved relationship found in ancient Greek pederasty, in that Alex is lowkey masc4masc and that he and Mark bond over the ancient and manly sport of, er, racquetball (I don’t know, just go with it). You also have to keep Mark’s grades up to get Alex’s full ending, which is both entirely logical - Mark is trying to date his professor after all, even if he doesn’t fully get there until the semester is over and he’s ready to walk the stage - and an extension of the idealized pederastic relationship as an educational one for the beloved younger man. If you’re into that kind of thing, Alex’s route is among the better options in this game to find it.

There’s also this obscure random line, which triggers an unusual extra CG added in an update that might be pet play? It’s honestly hard to tell - and I say that as someone who likes pet play. Something you may notice in my review is that, while the five romances included in the game on initial release are all fairly mundane, the writers clearly felt more free to get weird in the later additions. 

Brad: Frat Boys Gone Wild Parts 2, 5, and 7

Do you like beefy jocks, and huge dicks, and harsh but realistic indictments of the unequal attention lavished upon athletics departments at most American universities? One of these things is not like the others, but thankfully the route knows where to place most of its priorities. This is the story that puts Mark to work in his job as a writing tutor, tasking him with saving a hunky frat boy from failing his composition class and losing his scholarship in the process. Much unlike my own time as an undergraduate writing tutor however Mark is required to make house calls, setting him on a collision course for Brad’s burgeoning homosexuality and almost getting his ass kicked by the other equally hunky - but tragically straight - members of the frat. Brad is indeed the only one of Mark’s love interests who struggles to any degree with his sexuality, but it’s a muted part of this storyline and only really comes up in one scene involving Brad’s overbearing older brother. Despite some heavier moments here and there CooT is still a lighthearted dating sim at its core, so don’t expect too much in the way of angst even for a character who under more realistic circumstances would likely have to keep his inclinations on the DL.

Where there is plenty of intensity though is in those tutoring sessions, because, well -

- Mark ends up with a serious case of blue balls from all the UST and frequent teasing of Brad’s behemoth cock. Disclaimer: despite years of professional phallus measurements, this reviewer is unable to determine if Brad’s endowment is measurably more impressive than those of the other love interests based on his CGs alone; all pronouncements to this effect may thus be taken as the hyperbole of a horny size queen.

An even bigger source of tension in this route is the cheating angle: during their first meeting Brad will attempt to pressure Mark into writing his paper for him, remarking that American football players at universities get this kind of preferential treatment all the time and that their grades are basically irrelevant. Mark can actually take him up on this offer, and end up quite a bit richer for it via a little bribery (a nice perk if you’re angling for Ian’s friendship ending). Doing so will make it impossible to obtain Brad’s good ending but will instead lead to an alternate storyline with its own set of CGs, culminating in some saucily unethical fellatio as Mark proves to Brad that he can provide just as many perks as the rival female tutor who’s been capturing the jock’s attention with blowjobs and amateur porn. Incidentally, while it very quickly ends the route I like that Mark has a dialogue option to offer those exact services to Brad in front of the other tutor. It’s almost as funny as the earlier option about rimjobs that also ends the route but results in a dream CG of the straight frat guys having their way with Mark. That’s like wish fulfillment Inception, or something.

But no, to finish this route properly you have to keep both Mark and Brad honest, and convince Brad to write his own essay with Mark’s help...and provide genuinely good help, so I hope you know the basics of how to structure an academic essay just kidding you can save scum through that stuff. Many heartwarming life lessons are learned through all-nighters, ruminations on long-term career prospects, and mutual masturbation, until at last the two of them succeed and celebrate their victory with full penetration. How exactly you prefer the penetration to go down isn’t the most intuitive set of dialogue options in the world, but bear in mind that on initial release the only possibility was Brad splitting Mark open with that ginger club swinging between his legs. As I brought up in Alex’s section, the later additions usually get rather freakier. In this case that means an extended dream sequence with football role play (which is a thing that exists, I guess?) followed by some actual sex, with Brad bottoming in both scenes and much loving detail lavished upon his meaty ass. It’s...clever, I suppose, but I think I prefer the original version. Maybe that’s just because I always thought American football uniforms looked ridiculous; where’s the sex appeal to be found with those ridiculous shoulder pads?

Ian: Oh My God They Were Roommates

Even years later I still don’t know for certain whether including Ian so casually with the other love interests counts as a minor spoiler. He’s introduced alongside Penny as Mark’s longtime roommate, and in that first scene it’s also established that he has an on-again, off-again girlfriend. I’m going to err on the side of it not being a spoiler however, because well before his route proper begins the game drops hints that there might be more to Ian than a goofy slacker best friend with appalling personal hygiene. His route progresses as might reasonably be expected from Mark’s coming out, with Ian as the fantasy gay-friendly straight guy who turns out to be not quite as straight as initially advertised. 

There’s just one very large problem with that and it’s not the size of his dick. Because Ian is first and foremost Mark’s roommate he has the privilege of appearing as a supporting character in routes other than his own, and in fact there are CGs featuring him in some of those routes. This results in Ian receiving the most overall development of any of the love interests, ranging from the oddball humor that he injects into situations all over the story to his raging and, er, adventurous libido leading to all manner of masturbatory mishaps for Mark to, most jarringly, poorly-disguised jealousy over the other love interests should Mark choose to pursue them. One would expect this to result in a fantastically fleshed-out character and an excellent foundation for a route of his own that builds off Ian’s simple charm and manic energy to craft an excellent best friend romance.

Yet...it kind of doesn’t? It took me until my most recent playthrough to appreciate this properly, but more than any of the others Ian’s route is written as the most conventionally romantic. It incorporates a host of romcom staples - UST, misunderstandings, miscommunication, more than one romantic false lead, a wedding at the end, mood lighting for its softcore bondage scene - and while most of the other routes include one or two of those elements as well this is undoubtedly the only one that ever comes close to feeling cheesy or maudlin. Unfortunately however that kind of writing just doesn’t play well with Ian’s over-the-top comic relief antics, and so for most of the latter part of his own route he comes off as oddly bland. The writing mines some jokes out of his growing jealousy of the other men Mark expresses interest in dating, and it offers Mark a devastating early sex scene bad ending opportunity in the form of Ian coming onto Mark while drunk and forcing the player to choose between a rimjob now or double oral and/or flip-fucking later. Sure, that setup and some of what comes before it plays right into who Ian is as a character - a well-meaning idiot with a lot of insecurity surrounding his relationship to Mark - but after that point whether you take the rimjob or not Ian practically fades into the role of generic romantic lead as Mark must work to repair their friendship and then guide it into uncharted territory.

To illustrate the point I’m trying to make, contrast these two CGs. The first is from Ian’s friendship ending (something only he and Penny get, based on spending time with them on weekends among other factors); the second is from his romantic ending.

Which of these images tells you more about Ian’s characterization, or about his dynamic with Mark?

I’m not going to deny that Ian has sex appeal, or that he doesn’t have a slew of genuinely funny lines all over the game’s script, or that there’s nothing satisfying in watching Mark and his best friend fall in love with each other - but it’s the lack of integration between Ian the comic relief roommate and Ian the love interest that doesn’t sit well with me. When I was reviewing Chess of Blades I name-dropped Ian in comparison to that game’s own best friend love interest Arden. I’ll do the reverse here: Ian may be sweet and a ton of fun, and there may be far more options for which pegs go into which slots in this storyline, but Arden’s character and story stick in my mind more because they’re never at odds with one another. Ian in the earlygame and outside his own route is so goofy that it’s very hard to take him seriously as someone who could be a romantic partner for Mark, and unfortunately that comes across all too well when the occasion finally arises.

[imaginebeatles]

How do I write a good smut story?

There’s no one proper way of writing good smut in my opinion, and really it’s all about writing what you would find hot to read, which is easier said then done. But you can have emotional smut, short and punch smut, or the more lingering, poetic or long-winding smut. Or just blunt straight forward, no-plot smut. Really it’s about what you like and trying to simulate that (also in terms of how you describe and phrase stuff). See what turns you on when you read and take inspiration. 

However, I can give you some pointers that might help you no matter what kind of smut you’re writing. I hope they’ll come in handy for you: 

Do not underestimate the importance of characterization. It might feel like smut doesn’t really require much characterization because it’s just sex. How much characterization can there really be. But good characterization can really add to the whole thing and make it feel more real, more charged. People react differently to different situations and the same goes with sex. People don’t all have sex the same way, and it’s so nice when you can see the characters for real when you read smut. I feel this is often overlooked, but getting characterization right and putting some effort into that can really make your smut a lot better and a lot hotter – you’re reading smut about those people specifically for a reason. 

Describe! Describe! Describe! Describe everything! This doesn’t mean you have to give long paragraphs of what exactly they are doing and describe literally everything, but sex is about (physical) sensations and emotions. Describe not only what the characters are doing, but also how it feels and smells and how things taste. Describe what they can and cannot see, what they hear, not the sounds the other character are making, but also from their surroundings (the ruffling of the bed-sheets, the creaking of the headboard, how their bodies sound sliding together, their clothes dropping onto the floor). Describe how the do everything too. What parts of their bodies they use, how quickly or how slowly, be detailed. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to put in lengthy descriptions if that’s not your style, but adding little hints of it really makes it so much sexier. Same with emotions: what are they feeling and thinking, why and what made them think/feel that? Keep it natural though. Smut should be easy to read, not a chore to get through. Basically, describe, but not to a Dickensian level ;) Keep it short! 

Emotions. Sex isn’t just about the sexual act itself. Your characters feel stuff emotionally too emotionally when they’re having sex, whether it’s kinky sex, anonymous sex, romantic love-making, anything involves emotions; negative ones and positive ones. Write about these feelings. Sex isn’t serious or all just horniness either. Make them laugh and giggle, make them make jokes, or tease each other. Or maybe they’re sad and need the other person to make them feel better, or maybe they’re angry with the person, or whatever. If they’re in love, make them be cute together. 

Think about WHY you characters are having sex. This may seem irrelevant sometimes when you just want to write something without plot, and I don’t mind you need to have a plot. But what made them have sex? This doesn’t have to be a dramatic or meanwhile thing. It can just be because they thought their partner looked sexy, or because they were sexually frustrated, or because they’re in love and they wanted to show that to the other person. But even these simple reasons can really change how a smut scene may come across and can really change the feel of the story. Now imagine if they have more dramatic reasons to have sex! As with any fic, motivation is important. 

Writing-wise, don’t use stupid euphemisms.  Call a penis a penis and a vagina a vagina or some other similar words (cunt, pussy, cock, dick, erection, hard-on, ass, hole, whatever). You’re writing smut. We know what we’re reading and what you’re referring to. These words are hot, precisely because they’re usually more taboo. Just don’t do it. They’re usually very ridiculous and can be really jarring. 

Make your characters want to have sex. Put perhaps in a better way, make them passionate. This kinda goes hand-in-hand with the emotions things, but the weirdest thing about sex scenes in book (not so much smut because there is a reason we write about these people and that relationship) is that so often it seems like they’re not even that into it? Like, if you want to have sex with someone, you desire them. You want to touch them, to kiss them, to feel them, their bodies, hear them moan and groan and feel good, or if it’s more aggressive, you want to possess them. Characters need to want each other. It’s a passionate thing to have sex with someone, not something with the same passion as your doctor giving you a prostrate exam or something. Also, show what the characters desire in each other. Show their passion. Even when you’re writing something with more dubious consent, it’s at least one person who really freaking wants it. Something as simple as undressing the other person is the most erotic thing and shows they really want the other person. If you don’t show that your characters what it badly, it just comes off as cold and mechanical. 

Try not to make your characters sound like porn actors. This is more a question of how and when characters say stuff and how often than what exactly they’re saying it. It’s difficult sometimes, because dirty talk is hot (again, it’s about passion as well. dirty talk can be a great way to have characters show they want each other), but just don’t overdo it. Tone it down sometimes. Also people make a lot of other sounds too than just yelling and screaming and saying dirty stuff. They may moan occasionally or let out tiny whimpers or just gasp or curse softly. Loudness does not always the way to go. Usually it’s not, and when characters are loud, they’re not gonna be loud right away, it’s gonna build. 

Please, please, please, do not skip foreplay and preparation. Especially when it comes to sex between two men, because you cannot fuck someone’s arse if they’re not prepared!! Spit is not sufficient lubrication (unless they have had sex not that long ago already). Nothing puts me off more when I’m reading smut than when a guy pushes his dick in without stretching the other man and using at least some kind of proper lubrication. It’s just really painful. Also foreplay is often times even hotter to read than the actual anal or vaginal sex. Don’t skip it. Let tension build. Same goes with sex between two women or a man and a woman. Unless it’s some kind of kink they’re into, dry sex is not sexy and just really painful. If you don’t want to focus on that, just a single line explaining they’re preparing the other person is good enough. 

(In addition, there is not just one way to have sex. Involve other intimate acts as well. This kinda goes along with the foreplay, but sex-sex isn’t necessary for good smut. Eroticism and sensuality can be great too. The same goes for the actual sex-sex too, which can be done in many different ways. Play around with sex! It’s supposed to be fun, after all!) 

[defectivenancydrew]

MID Review (finally)

Now that I’ve had a while to reflect on MID, I feel like I can give an honest, spoiler-free review. This turned out to be a much more in-depth review than I had planned on doing, but you can just read the italics at the end of each section if you just want the gist.

Controls: Okay, so for like the first fifteen minutes (or however long it takes you to adjust), the controls are frustrating. Once you get used to how to move (and it is still point-and-click), you’ll be fine. The only thing that I still didn’t have a solid grasp of by the end of the game was moving Nancy’s head around with the right mouse button--it might have helped to slow the mouse down for this function. That being said, the controls offer a lot to the game. The environments and navigation feel more realistic, and instead of jumping from scene to scene, Nancy slides through the space. It’s weird at first, but it’s ultimately superior. (Just for kicks, I went back and played a bit of LIE as a comparison, and the jumpy movement felt so weird after the smoothness of MID). Controls get a 8/10 for the steep learning curve and the more realistic movement.

Graphics: They’re not that bad, okay? On high render, the environments actually look really good and the characters are decent (low render is an understandably different story). Given the technical reasons behind the graphics looking as the do (full 3D render here versus painstakingly painted video files before), I don’t think that they’re really that bad. Puzzle renders and zoomed-in items/POIs really shine, appearing arguably better than previous games. It’s also important to consider what SCK/STFD look like compared to SEA--MID obviously looks better than SCK/STFD, but it has room for improvement. Just like the development team refined the graphics on their proprietary engine, they will refine the graphics on Unity over time. Again, looking back to the first three games, there is a huge jump in graphics quality between each game, indicating their ability to improve quickly. I’m willing to best that the next game (yes, I believe there will be a ‘next game’) will look much better than MID, and so on from there. Character renders are not as great, but this, too, is likely to improve and is probably also due to the fact that it’s 3D and not a painted video file. Their movements may be awkward, but the fact that they are mo-cap means that they may improve in future games. The only real gripe I have about the characters is the lack of facial expressions. Graphics get a 7/10 for up-close realism and room for improvement.

Performance: If you have a gaming PC or a relatively new device, you should be golden. The game runs smoothly at high render on my 2018/i7/SSD PC, but has some lagging issues at high render on my 2014/i5/HDD PC (issues that all but disappear by adjusting to low render). For those with older PCs or PCs with less processing-power, you may have to deal with way-off lip-syncs and choppy cut scenes if you also want to see the best possible graphics. The game only crashed once on my older PC (and it was more likely due to unrelated background processes I was running), but the autosave feature prevents crashes from being anything more than a brief annoyance. Performance gets a 6/10 for high requirements and the Sophie’s Choice of graphics or speed.

UI: I love the sleek, full-screen appearance and minimalist inventory/phone bar. If I had to ask for any improvements here, I might suggest that the inventory collapse into a bag icon when it’s not in use. UI gets 10/10 for maximizing space and minimizing distractions.

Environment (independent of graphics): HeR definitely stepped up their game (heh) on this front. While there are arguably no more locations to explore than in SEA, the environment is far more expansive and cohesive. You feel like you are in a small town (Salem), and you have the freedom to explore all the relevant places without jumping around or magically transporting. There’s only one location that is distant from the town center, and Nancy travels via car to get back and forth, which adds a dose of realism. We have our usual forest navigation (though it is mercifully straight-forward, unlike DOG or CAP), with the added bonus of looking around and using it to get from one place to another. The game makes good use of each space, though it’d be nice if there was more to do in certain lesser-used locations. Some of the locations really only seemed to be present to flesh out the whole environment--which is fine--but it’d be nice to utilize those locations a bit more. And when graphics are set high, the environments are quite stunning. The lighting and weather also do a good job of reinforcing the current atmosphere in-game. Environment gets a 9/10 for cohesion and light usage.

Characters (independent of graphics, story): This is probably one of the spots where MID won me over. Not only do we have eleven (11!) official characters, we have background characters that make the setting real! I didn’t count, but there were probably 10+ background characters that were present for minor commentary and realistic liveliness. For the first time in a Nancy Drew game, I wasn’t questioning where the rest of the world was. Yes, their movements were awkward and if your computer couldn’t handle the graphics, then their lips were flapping in mysterious ways, but they moved around and interacted with each other in semi-human ways. It is absolutely baffling to me that there are people who think there were too many characters. For one thing, we as fans asked HeR for more characters and that’s what they gave us. For another, the game never felt crowded. There were seven characters that were considered “main” that you interacted with often, three side characters that you interacted with occasionally, and one character that you only interacted with once. If they hadn’t been fully-formed characters with solid backstories, I might be persuaded that the number was an issue, but almost all of the characters were fully- or mostly-developed. Characters gets a 10/10 for quantity and quality.

Puzzles: This is probably the one facet of the game where it is most clear that HeR listened to fans’ requests. We asked for more realistic puzzles that were integrated into the game play and not totally irrelevant. That’s what we got. For some people, I think this made it seem like there were fewer puzzles, but I think there were just as many as before, it just wasn’t always super obvious that you were solving a puzzle (and they all but eliminated chore-type puzzles). The cooking mini game and serving mini game were both fun, nostalgic time-wasters in the best of ways. Another nice thing about the puzzles was that they weren’t super difficult as long as you were paying attention, so there wasn’t any need to google solutions or get frustrated. Puzzles get a 9/10 for fan service and perception (after all, perception is reality).

Story: MID really shines when it comes to the story line. The game delves into the full history of Salem, rightfully choosing to discuss topics that were always skirted in earlier games (prejudice, discrimination, slavery, torture, etc.). My only issue regarding the presentation of history is that a lot of the learning is optional, and can be easily ignored or missed. The actual story line of the game is well-established and doesn’t have any gaping plot holes (at least that I noticed on my first play through). There are multiple crimes to solve, multiple items to recover, and thus multiple endings/outcomes to achieve. I can’t go into too much more detail without spoiling parts of the game, but suffice it to say that the story has depth and gravity that might even place it ahead of previous games. Story gets a 10/10 for more mature themes and multiple, successfully interweaving story lines.

Dialogue: While the content of the dialogue is great and forms the foundation for much of the story, it loses me in presentation. First, the line-by-line captioning system is awkward at best, and a monologue behind at worst. I see no reason not to present the player with sentences or paragraphs at a time as before. Second, dialogue options are not so much options as dialogue tasks. You have questions you can ask, but there is no choice of how to ask them or how to respond to an answer. For the most part, you are just choosing the order in which to ask things. This, in my opinion, is a step backward from the previous games, where Nancy could be optimistic, pessimistic, direct, or passive-aggressive. Lastly, there is a strange lack of subject in Nancy’s sentence structure at times. She says “should do xyz” instead of “I should do xyz,” or “wanted to ask about abc” instead of “I wanted to ask you about abc.” While this isn’t really too weird in the context of modern speech patterns, it is still a little awkward. There are examples of this in previous games when Nancy speaks to herself, but never in dialogue with other characters. Again, this isn’t a big deal, but it crops up enough to make it noticeably strange. Dialogue gets a 6/10 for solid content and poor presentation.

Music: At first, the music seems to be nothing special; the main theme is quiet, unassuming, and a bit repetitive at times. But much like the rest of the game, it gets better as you progress. The music in Luminous Infusions and at the end of the game really stick out as great pieces, although the rest of the tracks are also very well-composed. There is thematic continuity between tracks and the tracks also reflect the game’s current atmosphere well. The music, while from a new composer, is still reminiscent of the old games, particularly the mystical tracks in CUR. I’m hoping HeR releases a soundtrack for MID in the future, but I do know there are no current plans for an official soundtrack (though you can find unofficial ones on YouTube pretty easily). Music gets a 10/10 for quality and cohesion.

Nancy: Nancy finally sounds like the late teen that she is meant to be! Nancy is witty and assertive, no longer speaking with the voice of a thirty-year-old and expressing the thoughts of a thirteen-year-old. The new voice actress is just what Nancy’s voice needed, in my opinion, though I have admittedly been a supporter of replacing Lani since about DED/GTH (don’t get me wrong, I love Lani and she will always be the classic voice of Nancy in my head, but I could also admit that her voice was losing its spark and pep). It takes a little while to get used to the new voice, but once it stops sounding different, it’s easy to fall in love with. Another great aspect of Nancy 2.0 is that she’s willing to get into it with other characters, even if they are in a position of authority. Nancy has always been an assertive character who stands up for what is right, even if it’s not easy to do. We see the return of this kind of Nancy in MID, and I hope we don’t lose her in future games. The only thing that I found a tad bit odd was how sugar-sweet Nancy was toward Deirdre. I like how their relationship was updated in order to model more appropriate/healthy female friendships, but it is a little weird considering the canon interaction model set forth by ASH and DED. Nancy’s other relationships have also matured and improved. Nancy gets a 10/10 for assertiveness and expressiveness.

Physical Copy: Well, almost two weeks after the release date, I finally got my physical copy of MID. This is unprecedented, as I always received physical pre-orders the day of or even the day before release. The long wait drove me to buy the digital download, which I didn’t mind doing, but this could be very frustrating for those not willing to pay for the game twice. I was disappointed to find that the disc art is just a copy of the cover art (which is minimalist at best), and not a characteristic color like the other games. The box art seems like it was put together at the last minute, not unlike the cover art. If it weren’t for my compulsive need to own all of the physical copies, I probably would have skipped it. Physical copy gets a 1/10 for slow delivery and lackluster appearance.

Weird Things to Complain About: Yes, there is one background character whose voice sounds like it was recorded on a Motorola Razr, but she says one sentence that you don’t even have to listen to. Yes, some of the background characters are overt clones, but we’ve never even had background characters to complain about before. Should there have been more to do in the Hathorne House or other one-off locations? Yeah, probably, but we were given a ton of locales to visit. The characters were always bobbing around and breathing, but--surprise!--this is something that real humans do. Did their feet/hands occasionally meld with other objects or the environment? Sure, but why were you looking at their feet during a conversation? Admittedly, Teegan sometimes looked like she was trying to scare off a bear or prepare for flight, even I can’t argue that that wasn’t odd. But for the most part, these are minor, petty issues. There weren’t gaping plot holes, there was actually a mystery to solve (looking at you, MED), and we got a lot of the things that we asked for over the years. There is always room for improvement, and this game is certainly no exception. I expect that the next game will make refinements based on our feedback and be even better. HeR completely changed the Nancy Drew game formula, but they used our input as a guide. They’ll take what we say about MID into consideration with the next game, and hopefully over time we will see the same level of improvement we saw from SCK to SEA. They started from scratch, and even though they had five years to work on it, the first time you try something new is almost always the worst. I don’t condone the way they treated us over the hiatus or how they treated their own staff, but I don’t think it’s time to abandon ship yet. If you play this game with nostalgia goggles on and a closed mind, you’re going to hate it, you’re going to ask for a refund. If you go into it with an open mind and excitement for something new, you might just find that you like MID more than you’d care to admit. Weird things to complain about gets an 8/10 for minor oddities that should be expected in a pilot endeavor.

Conclusion: Change is inevitable. If you were around when TMB came out, you might remember the absolute uproar that came with the UI change. People threatened to walk away from the series because of the new menu screen and bulkier interface. If you’ve played the original SCK and STFD, then you know how drastically the games improved over the span of a single year. And compare those games to SEA and it’s clear that the games are always improving. But you have to start (or in this case, restart) somewhere, and MID is our new starting point. The games will get better, and we’ll still find things to complain about (like we always do), because there is always room for improvement. There’s no point in lamenting about how good the game would have looked on the old engine, because that misses the point. The old engine could not deliver what we as fans desired. It could not handle more than six characters or more than eight hours (this is being generous) of game play. It couldn’t give us more expansive environments or smoother navigation. The new engine gave us all of these things, but sacrificed a bit of graphics. Big whoop. I’m willing to bet that none of us got into the games for their graphics, especially those of use who became fans early on in the games’ history. Bottom line? HeR gave us a good game. Not their best game, maybe not even one of their better games, but it’s certainly better than MED or SCKR. And hey, at least we finally got the game. Midnight in Salem gets an 80%, an admirable B-, because the effort and progress is there, but there are definitely things that they could have done better.

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think they could make Azula gay in the netflix live-action? Many people in the fandom seem to think she had a thing for Ty Lee. I don't see it, but do you think they could retcon the show just to pander to shippers?

Somehow I knew this sort of question would pop up in my inbox one day. I just did. Such foresight powers I have (?)

Anyways, the answer got pretty long, but I hope it’s comprehensive enough in regards of why I don’t think it’s likely, why, even if it happens, we shouldn’t freak out about it regardless of if it negates our headcanons, and why, on top of it all any characterization the ATLA cast gets in the liveaction should be judged as part of a second timeline, removed from the first, and analyzed as such.

Alright, first of all... despite what popular opinion these days would have everyone believe, a character’s sexuality and sexual identity are not the only relevant and important factors in them; in fact, I wouldn’t even call them the most important factors unless you’re outright telling a story with very specific socially critical purposes in mind. Yes, you can deal with these subjects in stories that aren’t exclusively about sexuality, and yes, it offers important representation to communities that were largely unseen for the bulk of human history. But making a character’s entire story arc revolve around nothing but sexuality and their struggles because of it is actually a failure at offering good representation? The point in having media featuring representation in the form of diverse fictional characters is based on allowing minorities to see themselves in this kind of content and for majorities to understand these minorities and their stories are just as valid as theirs are. If minorities are reduced to a single aspect of their multifacetic lives, the only thing the story in question would achieve is turning a character with the potential to be dynamic and complex into some flat minority stereotype, throwing away the countless human complexities through which media can tell rich and important stories that do provide genuine, quality representation to these communities.

Ergo, if Azula were written as a gay character in this Netflix adaptation, this aspect of the reworked character should not, and frankly, CANNOT, be the only thing that matters about her. Azula has a large role to play in this story, a role related to the war, her family, her friends and her nation, and a lot of her complexities stem from how she deals with all these subjects, none of which have anything to do with romance or sexuality. Therefore, I’m pretty sure a lot of us loved her character for reasons that had nothing to do with her interactions with potential love interests, whether they’re of her same or opposite sex: Azula has always been SO MUCH MORE than whatever we’ve headcanoned her sexuality to be, and this is something I hope everyone keeps in mind for this liveaction show.

We need to stick to our priorities, to a fault, as Azula’s fans: whatever sexuality or love interests she’s given, if she’s given either thing to begin with, her story isn’t exclusively about that. So, if Bryke decide to alter this aspect of her original characterization by dialing up Azula’s love life, it’s not the driving aspect of the character and it’s not the only thing we should be concerned with when it comes to her new portrayal in the future liveaction show, regardless of whether said sexuality agrees with our headcanons or disagrees with them.

Alright, then. After that particular clarification had been made... I’m of the opinion that Bryke have indeed pandered to shippers and fans in the past, namely in their sequel show and certain later announcements related to it, announcements that were basically the LOK version of “Dumbledore was gay all along but I thought it’d hurt the book sales and that’s why I only said so in a press conference after the final book was a bestseller and my bank accounts were overflowing” (by which I mean, the last-minute sudden “Aiwei (the dead guy) and Kya (Aang’s daughter) are also gay” comments Bryke made post-Book 4 to convince people they were aboslutely pro-LGBT and their world was very diverse despite said diversity only became known in the final scene of the show and was never portrayed positively or properly through these side-and-background characters...?).

So, would I say, categorically, that Bryke would NEVER write Azula as a gay character if they thought it’d make their show more popular? Nope, I can’t. I really don’t trust them enough to think they’ll prioritize top-of-the-line storytelling over pandering to the crowd that will cheer them on most loudly.

THAT BEING SAID...!

The story they told with Azula in ATLA, despite what certain people are convinced of, had a very straight-forward message, one that I didn’t like very much, especially since that message seemed to render irrelevant the character’s incredible storytelling potential and remarkable complexities. Where Azula could have been so many things, in the show’s finale she became some sort of flat, sad warning stating: “don’t try to control people through fear or they’ll turn against you and you’ll end up all alone.”

As much as I have no doubts Bryke will want to incorporate new themes and somewhat “update” ATLA into more progressive times, I really doubt they’ll sacrifice the story they’re apparently so proud of having told through Azula only to pander to a specific part of ATLA’s audience. For that matter, there’s been a growing movement promoting many same-sex ships and trans interpretations of virtually ALL ATLA characters, so if they were to pander to the fanbase through Azula, why her? And if they do pick her, why stop there? If they do stop there, then they’re not being inclusive enough with their fandom. Why satisfy one portion of the fandom and not satisfy the other ones too? :’D

Worse yet, accusations of foul play will absolutely be guaranteed to rise when a potentially gay Azula isn’t given a redemption (because, considering the latest Azula-related comments by the creators and comic writers, they’re not likely to do it this time either), because “irredemably evil lesbian trope, that’s so sexist and homophobic!” And with that, the long, glorious time ATLA has spent as the golden, poster child of western animation will suddenly be overrun with the very same hysterical purity police that has overtaken all newer fandoms and filled them with antis who attack creators, writers, actors and other fans for creating or supporting “toxic” content.

Point and case being... if they don’t stray from the story they already told, they have a slam dunk since a lot of people will love the show if it’s virtually the same as the one they watched when growing up. All they have to do is alter a few events, maybe expand on a few things, stall the story for a few more years so the actors can age realistically and not be overworked... and tadaaaah! You have a blockbuster! Change fundamental aspects of characters by adding new factors to pander to certain fan demographics? You’d basically be poking a wasp’s nest and hoping they will turn out to be honeybees instead, ESPECIALLY if the character being coded as LGBT is either evil or fated to die, as both those tropes are what seem to incense that side of fandoms more than anything else.

If they want to write Azula as openly gay, they’d have to alter her general character message and whole arc to avoid the guaranteed problems I’ve pointed out up here. Paired with this? They’d have to retcon their recently established “the Fire Nation became homophobic in Sozin’s time!” canon imposed by LOK’s comics, so, if they stick with this tidbit of recent LGBT info, a gay Azula would most likely have to be a highly repressed lesbian who can’t even accept herself? It’s not impossible to tell that story... but it kind of feels counterproductive, and absolutely discouraging too for people who are struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality to see themselves reflected in a repressed character who most likely will meet the same depressing end she does in ATLA.

Now, my final point: again, I can’t say it’s impossible that this might happen. But EVEN IF Bryke decide that this is how their new story will work, and the new Azula will be gay, and they change everything so it’s non-problematic and they successfully avoid being chased with pitchforks by the purity police...

A new characterization doesn’t negate the one from the original show in the least. The first ATLA is what it is, a finished product that can be judged and interpreted in a thousand ways, and has been, for the past 10+ years. A new canon does NOT overrule an old one, a thought that I’m sure the very same purity and nostalgia police I’ve mentioned will absolutely adhere to once the new story changes ANYTHING and they don’t like it. Whatever new possibilities they test out with a new story don’t have to be taken as facts that apply to every iteration of the characters. For reference, imagine judging every Marvel comics character for the actions and behavior of their MCU counterparts. Imagine people raging at Peter Quill in the comic books because he’s in love with Kitty Pryde and how DARES he cheat on Gamora with her?!

... Just how would that make any sense? :’) Likewise, it would make no sense to behave this way with ATLA and its future liveaction adaptation. What happens in the liveaction concerns the liveaction. What happened in the original show can serve as a guideline for the liveaction, if anything, a frame of reference, but they can (and will) change elements in the story as they please in the new adaptation. However similar as they might be, they’re TWO stories, and they should work perfectly well as standalone shows.

Let’s look at it from the opposite POV, to further illustrate my point: if the new show SOMEHOW made Sokkla canon, unlikely and damn near impossible as it is: that doesn’t make it canon in the original ATLA. Hence, if I were to run out in the streets screaming Sokkla is real and endgame in EVERY POSSIBLE VERSION OF ATLA, the entire world would have every right to throw rotten eggs at me and tell me to shut the fuck up because it’s not true, it’s only real in the liveaction, and that doesn’t have any bearing on the original show.

Same principle applies with a potential gay Azula :’) Even if it happens, it’s liveaction only. The original show remains what it is, and her characterization there can be interpreted and derived from as we see fit.

To close this answer, I confess that I, personally, have next to no interest in this liveaction remake. I can’t even say I’ll watch any of it. For one thing, I’m really annoyed by the trend there is these days to turn animation into liveaction, because it seriously feels like an underlying way to say that liveaction is somehow the superior choice for audiovisual storytelling and that really grinds my gears. Animation has been fascinating media for me for years, I’ve always felt it’s more versatile than liveaction, and if I ever happened to write something that gets an onscreen adaptation, I’d probably choose animation over liveaction even if I’m not given a choice on the matter :’) So, for starters, I’m not happy with the notion of a liveaction remake for this show. If they wanted to remake ATLA and had chosen to do so with animation, I’d definitely be much more interested. But this way? Uh... not my cup of tea.

So, whatever Bryke want to do with this new product is absolutely their business (same as it was their business with ATLA, frankly). People will criticize it, that’s a guaranteed thing, and people will love it, and people will be angry, and people will be happy. But I’m probably not going to be one of any of these people this time around. The only way I would likely enjoy that show would be if it’s a genuine, critical overhaul of everything they did in the original show, reworking many key aspects of MANY characters, no matter if the main anecdote remains intact. And considering how highly self-critical the recent ATLA-related content has been, I doubt I’ll get my wish. So... good luck to everyone who wants to watch this liveaction, have fun, I won’t spoil it for you by dumping on it this time as I did with the comics, but I certainly won’t be joining any of your parades much either :’D

[safflowerseason]

veep rewatch - 3.02

Season Three, Episode Two - The Choice

aka - The One Where Dan Gets Seasick 

(It seems like a good time to begin this series again...)

Gary, to himself in the mirror: …When did you get your dad’s face?

LOL at Dan telling Richard not to be cute. 

Gary: Ma’am, instead of doing all this pre-campaigning, sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic, you say, "I'm Selina Meyer and I'm running for President of the United States!” *beat* Selina: I’m just gonna use the bathroom really quick.

Kelly: This definitely does not do video. Amy: Then what were you doing?!  (I just think it’s hilarious the way Anna Chlumsky delivers this little line…that perfect outraged bemusement.)

Hahahaha Dan gets so seasick. He’s so terrible I don’t even feel sorry for him. (This also means his S2 line about power-boating on Lake Erie is now irrelevant, which is fine because I think this is a more hilarious canon fact about Dan.) 

Wendy, about Jonah: Look who I found in a basket on our front door. 

What the hell is Jonah wearing in this scene. What is that terrible cardigan. What is that T-shirt he is wearing underneath. What.

Criminal: Hey, I voted for you! Selina: Thank you very much, sir! But I’m afraid you have to go to prison!

The chaotic scene on the boat, with everyone yelling and speaking over one another about POTUS’s announcement is quite well done, reminiscent of the scene in the kitchen during Helsinki (another great Selina-Amy-Gary-Dan group scene.) 

Ben: Ma'am, I swear to God, we all thought he was gonna just eat some shrimp, rattle off a few platitudes, go home, watch Full Metal Jacket for the millionth time and fall asleep.

Amy: Has POTUS gone nuts? We can’t have a crazy president.  Gary: In Italy they do.  (Heh.)

Selina: I can't identify myself as a woman! People can't know that! Men hate that. And women who hate women hate that, which, I believe, is most women, don't you agree with that? 

Dan: I swear to God, I felt better on the fucking boat.

Dan: And as vice president, here's your choice, two doors, pro-choice, pro-life. That’s it. Selina:…Is there a third door?  Amy: What, like a woman's door?  Dan *scornful*: A back door? No.

Lots of little physical comedy bits in this episode…Dan being sick on the boat, Selina and the bathroom door, Richard and Kelli getting tangled up in the phone lines….Most of these bits require really coordinated dialogue as well, characters speaking over one another at the exact right moment…I feel like this kind of really specific and technical scene work went away in the later seasons, in favor of the characters just screaming outsized insults at one another. Which is a bit sad, because these scenes are so superbly done, and all of the actors involved really get to show off their technical skills as well as their mastery of the dialogue. 

There’s an argument to be made that the premise of this episode is not super realistic. I suppose it’s plausible that a lame-duck outwardly liberal but still old-white-male POTUS might reveal he has a more conservative view on the timeline for abortion. What’s less plausible is that Selina’s response requires completely rethinking her views on the topic, or that she’s run for high constitutional office in the United States without articulating a clear stance on the issue. The whole “what’s Selina’s position?!” drama is a bit over-blown. Why doesn’t she just reaffirm whatever her stance is? (I guess that is kind of what she ends up doing, by rehashing the book). And the notion that she could reverse her previous position to something more conservative that aligns with POTUS’s views does not actually make any sense politically, considering Selina’s party and her hopes for the future…like presumably POTUS has also pissed off other members of his liberal party? And he’s a lame duck POTUS anyway. Who cares? 

However, I think this is an example where it’s fine that a show about politics does not hold up to perfect realist scrutiny, because it still makes for a great episode of television where we see Selina really wrestle with her identity as Veep and as a female politician, and we get to dive deep into the stakes of a “controversial” political issue (in quotations because it shouldn’t be controversial) and watch how the team deals with it. 

Jonah: I’m going to be updating more than I'm actually dating…which is a shitload. I think in the BMTL universe, Jonah resurrects Ryantology and his unhinged videos are part of how he wins the presidency. This kind of aggressive-direct-to-the-people-straight-talk-cut-through-the-bullshit rhetoric is exactly how Trump appeals to his base (even though it’s not at all true that it’s “real”), and is certainly more interesting politically than Jonah advancing as a politician because he’s racist and sexist and hates vaccines. 

Kent and Sue begin their hilariously robotic flirting in this episode. 

Selina’s got so many great lines in this scene about gender politics and the politics of abortion, all of which I would put on a coffee mug or a t-shirt.  “Get the government out of my fucking snatch.” “If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.” “As a woman, I am not gonna put in a fuckin’ sentence ‘As a woman…’ I am not putting my eggs in that basket.” “This is about access to safe abortions for vulnerable women.”

Read alongside one another, these lines illustrate how conflicted she is, not about abortion, but about her identity as a female politician and in turn, how that identity is perceived by the public to influence her political choices and views. She doesn’t want to be a labeled as a feminist political warrior, but she is still clearly passionate enough about women’s issues enough to try and figure out a way to articulate her views without sacrificing her political future—a future that depends on the support of old, white men. 

Costume-wise, Amy stands out among the ensemble in another turquoise green dress (I am very into her snakesin heels). This one is a wrap dress that is a bit darker than her dress for Mike’s wedding. Selina is wearing a black top and a red skirt, in a not-so-subtle nod to her struggle over what to say in public about abortion. Dan’s and Mike’s ties both have red in them. Unusually, nothing in Amy’s outfit really links her to Selina or to Dan.

Selina: Well, he fucking fudged it. Now we know he’s running for President, that stupid bastard. 

Dan’s meltdown is very well done by Reid Scott. This season, he really brings out Dan’s more intense side, highlighting his obsessive and neurotic qualities that we don’t normally see (because Dan keeps them buried) and adding this slightly unhinged edge to the character. At the same time, he emphasizes how Dan struggles to keep up the usual facade that everything is easy for him. In the previous episode, we even saw a flash of Dan’s crazy eyes. I simply don’t understand how Mandel watched Dan’s arc in S3 and came to the conclusion that this character didn’t really care about anything except money and sex. All Dan cares about in this season is winning, to the point where he actually self-destructs. It will be really fun to observe how the writers and RS play out Dan’s journey with this rewatch. 

Amy to Dan: Go home. Take an Ambien. Take fifty!

Ben: I’m going home, and if anyone needs me…I don’t care.

Poor Gary in this episode. He fails so hard at trying to be an actual political strategist. 

Dan: Hey you, Ugly Betty, give me that burrito! Jonah: Don’t just give it to him, dude!

“This is what happens when you fuck with my office!” Dan literally is seconds from beating up Jonah in this scene…his dangerous side on full display here. Part of me wishes we saw more of this super macho physical enforcer Dan, but at the same time, I do think it’s a bit jarring compared to Veep’s regular tone as a show. (It also makes you wonder what Dan’s breaking point is, when it comes to physical violence.)

Selina: Well, I said nothing…a big, fat, morbidly obese nothing.

[superkitty21]

So, The Rise of Skywalker was a thing

I laughed, I cried, I sighed in disappointment, but somehow, despite everything, I liked it. (Major fucking spoilers for the whole movie btw)

Okay, I don't know where to start so I'm gonna talk about the Palpatine thing. This film feels like the writers went in and tried to "fix" alleged plot holes in the previous films. As someone who loved TLJ, Rey being no one special was something I found engaging about that film. The Star Wars franchise is really obsessed with legacy and blood and heritage (especially that of your male line) and Rey being nobody was a refreshing break from having to justify your character as a protagonist by proving them to be the special. I'm really annoyed that Rey couldn't just be Rey she HAD to be someone special, the granddaughter of someone IMPORTANT to 'explain' her talent and skill with the force and to justify her role as protagonist of this franchise.

On top of this, revealing Palpatine to be the master manipulator of this whole conflict felt so cheap to me. TLJ completely shifted the status quo and took the Star Wars franchise to places we haven't seen before. So returning to the plot line of "we must defeat the evil Sith" betrays the ending of TLJ. I was excited to see where this franchise was going next after the explosive ending of TLJ and finding out that we were just going to rehash plot beats from 40 years ago was more than a little disappointing.

The sequel trilogy has been a balancing act between pulling on our nostalgia strings and telling a new story and The Rise of Skywalker, in returning to Palpatine as the villain and making Rey his granddaughter, tipped the scales of this trilogy to boring rehash and it all feels like such wasted potential.

The romantic subplots in this one were... messy (to say the least). It felt very clear to me that the writers didn't know where they were going with Finn's romantic arc at all throughout this series. I'd like to start by saying RIP to Finn/Rose shippers because the writers utterly dismissed Finn and Rose's ENTIRE relationship. It's not even acknowledged that these two even know each other outside of the context of co-workers. The complete sidelining of Rose in this story is almost shameful. I can only assume this was done in response to the massive harassment campaigns targeted at Kelly Marie Tran post-TLJ. Not only was caving to the racist trolls and removing Rose from the story disrespectful to Rose's character, but it also made Finn's romantic arc so incohesive. They brought back the Finnrey dynamic from The Force Awakens, but then never developed on Finn and Rey's relationship in any meaningful way. It seemed as if they were going to make the stormtrooper defector, Jannah, a love interest but then never really went there either (thank god). It was messy and unfocused and I had no idea where they were going with any of it, and it turns out they didn't either.

They also decided to give Poe a love interest. out of nowhere. in the last film of this trilogy. Pour one out for Stormpilot shippers because that ship sank harder than the titanic. In trying to fully assert Poe Dameron's heterosexuality they felt the need to add a completely irrelevant and frankly out of place romantic subplot for Poe. Did doing this add to the story in any way? No. Did it add anything to Poe's characterization? No. So I have to assume its there to make sure everyone in the audience knows that Finn and Poe could never, in any way, shape, or form, under any context, ever, EVER be in a romantic relationship despite their obvious chemistry. Legit, the scenes with Poe and Zorii in Kijimi felt like an ad for a Poe Dameron tie-in prequel novel.

Kylo's redemption arc isn't the best I've seen. I'm generally not one for redemption arcs being motivated by external factors (ie your mother dying) rather than an internal realization and growth. There is an argument to be made that Kylo has been explicitly shown in struggling with the light the whole trilogy, but I still would have liked more lead up to his eventual switch and for the choice to be more his own rather than compelled by his mother's death and his girlfriend giving him puppy dog eyes.

Absolution through sacrifice is also a big pet peeve of mine, but somehow it worked for me in this one. It's probably because Ren's redemption is really isolated to his relationship to his family and Rey. Given that his most egregious actions were to his immediate family I wouldn't could it as a flaw in the film and it certainly made it easier to buy in to arc. And I never got the feeling that TROS never fully absolved Kylo of his crimes against the galaxy. Similarly to how despite his final sacrifice, Darth Vader is still seen as evil by the wider galaxy, I get the sense that Kylo Ren despite his heel turn will be in a similar position. I won't begrudge anyone who thinks his shift to the light feels to sudden, or that his motivations felt a bit weak, or those who generally just can't buy it, but it worked or me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now's probably a good time to mention that I'm a massive fucking Reylo and ate every scene of Kylo and Rey up like it was candy. I get why some people don't like this ship and I think if you're not on board with these two by the end of the film the ending to Ren's story won't be very satisfying. Given that I already loved these two's relationship that Ren's ultimate sacrifice got me straight in the feels and that contributed to my ultimate satisfaction with the film.

Okay, That's everything I wanted to be analytical about. Now here are just some random, unrendered thoughts.

*I absolutely adored the main trio in this movie. Their dynamic was fun and they all clicked so well together and made me what a whole nother trilogy about these three precious beans. Imma be reading a LOT of jedistormpilot fics after this because that unit was fantastic.

*I'm a bit peeved that they fake out 'killed' C-3PO cause his final goodbye was actually really touching. Bringing him back undercut what I thought was a really touching farewell.

*I don't think I've gushed enough about how much I adored all of the force bond stuff that happened in this movie because that shit was beautiful. I could not get enough of the Reylo force battles. Their final scene was *chef''s kiss* and I'll be rewatching it as much as I do the praetorian guard fight.

*Shout out to this film for remembering force sensitive Finn was a thing. I respect that.

*RIP Hux. I know I'm one of the 7 people who actually care, but I'm upset that he was given such a minor role and killed off by nameless first order general guy. Like he couldn't have even be killed by Kylo. smh

*The new droid was super cute. 10/10. Would buy a lifesize plush of that guy.

*This movie made me imagine Sheev Palpatine impregnating someone and I can never forgive it for that.

*The Knights of Ren were so unintentionally comedic to me. I genuinely burst out laughing every time I saw them because they were these back goons with these silly weapons that did basically nothing. I feel bad for anyone who was hyped to see them cause they were so inconsequential. The porgs in TLJ had more characterization than they did. One of the best moments in this whole movie was when a random stormtrooper that saw them and simply said "squad goals". I almost fucking died. That stormtrooper and Cait Salt-Licker are absolute legends.

*This may be the least visually interesting movies in the sequel trilogy. Don't get me wrong there is some gorgeous cinematography and shot composition in this movie. Every single scene with Palpatine was amazing and gave me chills, but it did feel like there were less jaw dropping stunning scenes in this one compared to The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. No one moment really sticks out to me as much as say, the Holdo maneuver did in TLJ or the forest lightsaber fight in TFA.

I don't think this movie will be well loved by many people. People who've hated the sequels thus far may be won over by the return of Palpatine, but I don't think it's enough to win over the detractors. I think people who genuinely liked the direction these films seemed to be taking after The Last Jedi will be disappointed in how this one plays out. There was a lot to love about The Rise of Skywalker, but there was also a lot of missed potential.

[triciaisonline]

THE  GOOD,  THE  BAD,  THE  MISGUIDED  &  THE  BIZARRE.

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD.  READ  AT  YOUR  OWN  DISCRETION.

THIS ISN’T A  FULL  REVIEW,  JUST  MY  IMMEDIATE  THOUGHTS  AND  REACTIONS  UPON  SEEING  THE  FILM

THE  GOOD

almost every performance in this film is well done. i felt there were a few small characters that were not the greatest, like the auror who gets the job offered to newt, the circus guy. but the main cast delivered. 

this film looks beautiful. colleen atwood’s costumes look beautiful. special notes to everything worn by leta lestrange, the woman who follows grindelwald & brings queenie to meet him ( did she get a name? i swear they never named her... but there are so many characters in this movie... it’s impossible to keep them straight ). i love tina’s Parisian haircut. it suited her really well and served as a good reminder of passing time between this and the first.

i do like seeing other wizarding cultures, even if they didn’t really show us french wizard culture as much as i would have liked. especially since fleur delacour, beauxbatons are already areas people are interested in... it would have been nice to see more but i liked what i did see.

i liked that leta lestrange wasn’t the dark bellatrix type figure / temptress people were fanoning her out to be after being mentioned in the first film. i actually liked her character so i’m really mad that she was killed. i liked she had complexity, even if some parts of her will be brought up in other sections.

i forget it’s name, but i really like that giant cat creature. it’s cute. i love it. i want 5 for myself.

i liked seeing queenie get overwhelmed on the streets, because she’s a legilimens and all those thoughts would be overstimulating to her. i just thought it was a nice touch.

bunty telling newt to take off his shirt to go swimming was a mood.

i liked how jude law incorporated the manipulative parts of dumbledore, but it wasn’t in a obvious way. it was so well done, i really love it. it showed the morally flawed nature of the man really well. basically everything jude law did was perfect. including how he was the only one that seemed to subtly implicate that gellert and albus were gay. it’s not perfect, but i think he actually read the books before hand and knew whom he was playing really well. 

i know we don’t like him, but i do like how gellert addressed the rally. how he talks to people. reasons with them. how he rarely does the horrific acts himself, its always his followers. it’s chilling and really clever. it brings to mind cults, extreme right groups, dictators trying to induct and enforce their beliefs on the mass. 

THE BAD

what the fuck was with queenie?  don’t get me wrong, i’m not against queenie turning to gellert’s side or her heart being what gets used against her... because that has the making of good conflict. what i’m against is how it was done. queenie is in a total of five-six scenes in the film. one is a plot dump for what we have missed off screen, one-two are her looking for tina but they are the same narrative thread they basically count as one scene just spliced within other scenes,  she meets the french lady whom i swear never had her name said... then grindelwald then she’s at the rally where the ending of the film happens. she turns so fast. the film covers maybe a couple days? and you don’t even see the full conversation with grindelwald. so not only does she do nothing in this film, she turns to the bad side on a dime for what feels like cheap and unearned dramatics at the end of the film, but they are overshadowed and never even really acknowledged by the other characters because leta has her sacrifice right after, and credence has his conversion and that one is more plot driven then queenie’s which just feels like an afterthought. honestly all of queenie felt like it was added in last minute. she just doesn’t fit the rest of the film. she looks for tina, never finds her, tina never even asks or wonders about her. we dont even see her REACT to her own sister JOINING GRINDELWALD. newt forgets about her, jacob talks about her a bit, but other than being funny to watch, jacob also really doesn’t have anything to do in this movie. ironically, jacob feels more validated as a component because at least he’s helping newt as he looks for queenie, over queenie the reason jacob is there in the first place...and who is meant to have this big shocking “plot”  if you told me that this was all added in a final draft, after seeing queenie and jacob be so popular, i wouldn’t be surprised at all. so really, queenie’s betrayal not only made sense, but it literally didn’t even matter to the plot of the film or any of the character arcs. 

i also didn’t like how she just essentually drugged jacob with love potion which has literally been likened to date rape drugs and everything in earlier canon and analysis but here it gets hardly any response outside of “oh that queenie.... drugging jacob again to make him marry her”. i felt at least newt should have had a stronger reaction to it. especially when a big plot point later is someone having magic used on them to essentially do the same thing and cause all this family drama for the lestrange family. i think it’s suppose to be foreshadowing, but it’s not really handled well.

this one is kind of unimportant, but i also felt like queenie’s hair colour really looked off this time. i don’t know if it was a different wig or dye or if the colouring just didn’t flatter it... but it really made alison sudol look washed out in scenes and looked the wrong shade in others. i really don’t know but it bugged me a bit. 

i’m really mad that they killed off leta lestrange, she had so much build up... and she was actually more interesting than other character plots... but then they just... killed her off. and she really didn’t need to die... like its framed like a moment for newt to finally join the war properly and he sorta starts to connect with his brother again after, but i feel the entirety of the movie was enough to get him involved. so really, we just killed off a really interesting female character ( a woc character too ) just... for the sake of a male’s plot. wonderful.

on the subject of leta lestrange, i felt that whole scene with her, her brother, credence, tina and newt to be weirdly paced and shot. like so much information dump happened and people kept revealing things and it was hard to keep straight. 

there are so many plots. too many plots. so many micro-plots, not subplots. but smaller. the whole movie is micro-plots that result in everyone at the same place for the climax of the film, which would be cool except many of these characters, places, etc get little to no explanation or build up. just “i’m here now’. and there is no resolution. 

on that note, THERE IS NO RESOLUTION. THE MOVIE JUST STOPS. it feels like this movie either was meant to have an extended ending that got cut.. or they filmed and wrote it like it was the first part in a two parter, except it’s not. its a film in a series but its only one part. so it’s just a movie that ends abruptly and awkwardly with no kind of wrap up of anything. like yeah you want plot threads to fuel the next film, but literally nothing gets any kind of ending or closure. unless you count newt and thesus hugging? but that is all relied upon throwaway lines and its really ( again ) unimportant in the long run.. so it doesn’t count. 

so in the end, credence gets a wand and grindelwald tells him he’s actually a long lost dumbledore because in 2018 joanne rowling doesn’t even know her own canon and the fact he only has two siblings. and i mean, i get its meant to be a secret surprise brother, but when so much of the deathly hallows FOCUSES on his backstory with gellert and how it intertwines with his siblings, it feels really poorly thought out. the dumbledores and grindelwald’s backstory is pretty set in stone from the deathly hallows as told by both rita skeeter’s book, aberforth and even dead dumbledore himself. how it destroyed their family, and all of that is the set up for their conflict now.. so throwing in a surprise brother after all of that feels kind of cheap and lazy at this point. and again, no build up. no set up. just... “here’s a wand. i made this bird a phoenix. you're a dumbledore. end movie’. nothing foreshadows it. just “you're a dumbledore, credence.” he’s like the worst version of the hagrid meme.

THE MISGUIDED

lets talk about nagini, i’m not the high most authority on the subject as a white female, but from my understanding of the controversy from people much more informed than i am, the fact that nagini turned out to be basically a nothing almost feels worse than when she was framed like this big controversial focal point for the film. okay so, nagini literally didn’t need to be nagini. at all. she’s a snake once, and it’s in such an obvious “look its nagini from harry potter”. moreover, she literally didn’t even need to be a snake. its such a irrelevant part of the story. which just shows how much this nagini thing was just slapped on the character to create controversy to sell tickets and get people talking about the movie. WHICH JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE WORSE, when you factor in that nagini is a nothing character on top of this. she is essentially scenery. she does nothing contribution wise except be there with credence until he goes to grindelwald and then stands with the heroes at hogwarts at the end for some reason, she just tagged along i guess. AND ALL OF THIS MAKES THE CONTROVERSY FEEL SO MUCH WORSE, because it’s literally an insensitive & thoughtless character created for the purpose of nothing. there isn’t even a big plot reason, nothing is contingent on her. you could remove her from the film and it changes nothing. which makes this the second woc character to get the shaft.

okay so the first film set up that there was a love plot of some kind involving newt and leta that would be explored in future films. and it’s not that it wasn’t there. you saw that with leta and newt; but what isn’t explained is how 1) she ended up with his brother, 2) how she got him expelled, 3) how that affected things between them, and 4) where is his brother in all of this? and they killed leta... so are we just done with that now? because it was set up that this would matter and it really didn’t. not that i didn’t like that her whole character wasn’t around a love plot... but i also kind of want answers? but also don’t think i didn’t notice how her whole plot was related to men in her life. i liked her, but she wasn’t perfectly written.  truthfully this film is held together by amazing design and actors. zoe kravitz brought this to life.

i didn’t mind the flashbacks... but it was weird how they didn’t really do any camera or editing tricks to differentiate between present day and flashback. more for the hogwarts one, its edited so it looks like the movie just changes to another movie for like fifteen minutes ( its a long flashback you guys ) and then cuts back. it was just really weirdly edited.

so, when did we stop calling MACUSA... MACUSA? it was just called american ministry of magic this time and since it had a name that was a huge part of marketing for the first film and was used a lot in the film as well. it just felt weird that they dropped it. also, they dropped the no-maj thing except for once when grindelwald uses a bunch of terms to describe muggles in his speech. i mean, i know we all mocked it.. but once you establish a universe, its jarring when the rules of it suddenly are changed because of focus group testing not liking it. 

i briefly touched upon this with queenie’s note, but jacob really felt like he was added just because he was popular in the first one. like in the first one, he’s essential to the plot and the character arcs of the main characters as well as a good character on his own. but... he felt shoehorned into the film. like he had a good ending, and the implication that he found queenie in the end felt like a good solid ending to his story. but this time, he’s just there. he helps newt a bit, has funny lines... but again, if you cut him out... you lost nothing. actually, you could cut queenie out and the film would progress as normal. they were entirely subplot and background noise.

i know we wanted to build up tina and newt, but its been 9 months. they havent seen each other since new york... this whole bit felt forced and was essentially the “misunderstanding trope”. and again... there was hardly any reward or pay off for that time. the whole thing is dropped by the third act and become irrelevant again. because the movie just... ends.

THE BIZARRE

there were a lot of dead babies for a wizarding world film.  like two babies are killed/murdered in the plot of this film and that felt.. kind of dark for this series. its like they want to be edgy but can’t commit to it so they do it in small bursts but then the rest f the movie is madcap adventure. so it really stands out.

the cast and crew went out of their way to state that the gay stuff wouldn’t be a thing in this movie. the bullshit reason being “everyone already knows so why bother”. and yeah, this is a clear case of insincere representation  ---  but  then you have jude law over here giving lines deeper meaning with his acting... the blood pact having them entwine hands and fingers and framed intimately when shown on screen.... and i swear, while not heart shaped, the blood pin thing that newt steals from grindelwald invokes the idea of heart shaped jewelry... and even if its not.. its worn on his chest above his heart? so it invokes the idea that way. which makes me beg the question, if it was going to be subverted anyway... and EVERYONE HAS KNOWN FOR 11 YEARS.. why oh why was it being treated like a hush hush secret ‘ gay but not really gay’ thing. just fucking let them be gay. let them be shown to be former lovers / someone dumbledore used to love. even if they don’t say it to characters, there are ways to convey that visually. and the mirror scene isn’t enough. i’m sorry but its not.  like calm down. its 2018. it’s not a secret.

in the beginning, grindelwald looks a bit like haymitch from the hunger games

thesus looked like percy weasley in a lot of scenes.

I’LL HAVE MORE COHESIVE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS LATER ONCE I PROCESS IT ALL MORE. BUT THESE ARE MY INITIAL REACTIONS AND THOUGHTS UPON JUST SEEING THE FILM FOR THE FIRST TIME. 

OVERALL, THIS FILM HAS WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON. DOESN’T FOCUS ENOUGH ON THE IMPORTANT PARTS, NEEDS TO FLESH IDEAS OUT MORE.. A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN BUT ALSO, NOTHING MATTERS TO THE STORY. IT FELT LIKE A LOT OF SCENES WERE CUT OUT FOR TIME. THE MISMATCHED NATURE OF PLOTS FELT MORE LIKE TV EPISODES RATHER THAN A FILM. BUT THE ACTORS REALLY GIVE THE FILM SOME CREDIBILITY AND MAKE THE RIDE AT LEAST ENJOYABLE TO WATCH, BUT I’M NOT ITCHING TO SEE IT AGAIN. A LET DOWN AFTER THE FIRST FILM, BUT I HOPE FOR IMPROVEMENT. ALL IN ALL, JUST STOP LETTING JOANNE TALK  /  WRITE. SHE MAKES BEING A HP FAN IN 2018 SO HARD;  AND GOD  BLESS JUDE LAW.

[gofancyninjaworld]

Thoughts on One-Punch Man Season 2: Can you say mélange?

First part: Structure

Mélange (n):  a mixture often of incongruous elements    If you asked for a one word summary, mélange would be it.  It’s no disaster by any means, and had some real charms, but it is rather mixed.  Shall we dive in? :)

This is so long I’ve had to split it into two.

Yup, it’s looong

Here is where the majority of the problems we saw in the production values (no need for me to rehash, if you’re reading this, you’ve heard them all) come from.

Lack of Time

The biggest one that everyone notes is that J.C. Staff had a terrible schedule for actually producing the season, with only three episodes complete by the time the season started.  The resulting push for time hurt.  When you see episodes with as many as thirteen (13!) different directors on board, you know it’s a scramble.  And like a scrambled egg, the inconsistencies in art and direction, often changing several times in a scene for no good reason, it showed.   Where they got a little more breathing room, like the unscheduled (but surely prayed for) tennis interruption, subsequent episodes benefitted. 

It wasn’t just the visuals that suffered from lack of time.  Another major victim was the sound.  Once again, JAM Project delivered an excellent soundtrack, but all too often, musical scores were jammed in higgledy-piggledy into episodes, leaving little time to set or build a mood.  And the sound effects.. ah, they were rarely creative, often repetitive, and not always appropriate to the action.  The soundtrack definitely needs a re-listen and remaster. 

Lack of Respect

Probably fundamental to the lack of time, was the lack of respect given to the scale of the task it would be to adapt the manga to anime.  A big part of the problem is that the manga is exceptionally well drawn.  Murata’s time as an animator for Toei comes through, with many panels that are practically key frames and action sequences that look like they need only a few in-between frames to flow as actual animation.  

But manga is not anime. Attempting to transliterate it straight to screen, as they did, caused a lot of problems.  Most especially in the Super Fight, which deserves its own section.

Failure to Consider What Matters

Did you know that goats, unlike sheep, have short rather than long tails? If you wanted to keep something short, you could say you were making a goat’s tail of it.   Neat, but what’s that got to do with anything I’m talking about here?  Nothing. It’s just an aside. 

With 47 chapters and 1500+ pages to turn into 12 episodes, OPM was always going to have to be condensed.  The only question was what and how to do so while preserving the meaning and impact of the story. 

J.C. Staff started out well enough in the first three episodes, but once the Super fight hit, their insufficient planning really hurt the story.  Madhouse had planned to condense the Super Fight to two to three episodes, but J.C.Staff transliterated it wholesale, not realising that it was an aside. 

Ever have something that seemed really interesting and important to do or write down, that bit you didn’t want to cut from your story? And it’s only looking back that you think ‘damn, I really should have edited that out / not spent so much time on this / gotten on with doing better things with my life?’  (trust me, I think this at least once a day) That’s an aside.  That time-wasting aside that seemed so important in the moment, that is what the Super Fight was for Saitama.  It not only takes him out of the action, but it also gets him to realise that he’s frittering his life away and is in danger of forgetting what’s actually important. 

The way the manga keeps this from being a waste of the reader’s time as well is by using very strong framing.  It takes the time to make the Super Fight contestants distinct and interesting characters (I don’t think ONE could write a boring character if he tried). But then it frames their self-important games against a very real background of street warfare. Heroes are valiantly fighting with varying levels of success to save real lives and property.  The framing gets most explicit in Chapter 63 (literally called Games and Combat) where there’s a direct juxtaposition between the techniques the martial artists are using and the much stronger versions Genos has come up with to use in combat to kill monsters and save people.  Up until their world collide, the Super Fighters are just foils to the heroes. 

The anime, faced with time and space constraints the manga doesn’t have, chose what to prioritise poorly.  They kept 98% of the Super Fight and pared back on what the heroes were doing, losing at least one hero altogether.  Worse, they forgot the framing.   When people go to check out the manga, they should have been reading to find out what bits of the Super Fight were cut, not discovering that Bone exists, that Okama Taichi and Iaian can actually speak, that Drive Knight has a transforming box, that monsters other than Gouketsu and Elder Centipede had disaster levels. 

sorry guys, you all deserved better than you got

The result are episodes that felt pointless, at least up until Suiryu found himself in a proper jam, needing the very heroes he disparaged to save him.  Once Sourface admits that they the martial artists, are completely irrelevant to all that happens next, the time misused on them starts to look silly. 

But Some Very Nice Extras

As one may expect, J.C. Staff did not have much time or space to add extra anime-only bits, which is a pity, because that’s one of the biggest reasons I go for different media versions of the same story.   However, they did do some.  And when they did, most were very well chosen and added nicely to the story. 

I loved bits like Saitama and Genos shopping from a joint shopping list, Tareo suggesting to Garou that they read the Hero Data book together. Those were precious.  A tired, exhausted Garou arriving at Bang’s dojo was possibly the best single addition, giving us some desperately needed background to their relationship...want more...

This melts the heart every time

And on that note, that’s quite enough words for one session.  I’ll finish the rest tomorrow, when I’ll focus on the story they told and how it measured up to what I hoped it’d be. 

[caitlynlynch]

I’ll start this review off by saying that if you’re a big fan of Carla Neggers’ Sharpe/Donovan series, you’re probably going to love this. All but a very few characters have previously appeared and played significant roles in earlier books, so it’ll be like catching up with a group of old friends and seeing what’s going on with their lives.

If, like me, you haven’t read any of the previous books, you’ll be wondering ‘who are all these people and why do I care about the mundane details of their lives being thrown in this supposedly suspenseful read?’

There are far, far too many point of view characters in this story and the points of view of several of them are completely and utterly irrelevant. I’m going to list them here and explain what I mean:

PoV 1: Emma Sharpe. FBI agent. We start off in her PoV and return to it periodically, but she’s never more than a passive observer to events, except on one occasion where she acts as a vehicle for the reader to learn about poisonous mushrooms when getting some information about them.

PoV 2: Colin Donovan, Emma’s husband, also an FBI agent who helps his brother out investigating the case of food poisoning which turns sinister. Colin at least gets to actually Do Stuff.

PoV 3: Parish priest Father Finian. Utterly irrelevant to the case. His house acted as a temporary base for some of the principal actors. 

PoV 4: Former art thief turned MI5 asset Oliver. Irrelevant as he was never more than an observer.

PoV 5: Emma’s brother Lucas Sharpe, wandering around the Irish hills with their grandfather and doing… nothing related to the case.

PoV 6: Georgina, a chef whose father is poisoned and who MAY be responsible for the food poisoning which kicks off the mystery. She’s actually the only person here who I got to care about in the slightest, because she’s the only one who had something at stake - her father’s life and her career. And guess whose point of view we only visited maybe four times in the whole book? That’s right. We spent just as much time in Father Finian’s head, or Lucas’, and neither of them had anything to do with the case. Just when things were getting interesting for Georgina, we’d switch back to Lucas wandering around the hills in Ireland castigating himself for eating too much bread (yes, seriously).

The high stakes referred to in the book’s blurb turn out to be a damp squib. There’s one death in the book and it’s off-screen, a character we only ever see on the page filtered through the PoV of others as they talk about him. And for a mystery suspense, this is missing the crucial element of having clues to the identity of the villain planted early in the story. I’d narrowed it down to four possible characters by process of elimination - everyone else was a ‘known friendly’ - but the villain’s eventual dramatic self-reveal just fell utterly flat because there’d been no foreshadowing. Instead, we were told after the (fairly pathetic) climactic scene what the villain’s motivations were, and it was made clear that they had no hope of carrying out their plan anyway. A massive letdown followed by a tour of everyone’s point of view as they reacted by deciding to do utterly mundane and boring things.

I haven’t read a Carla Neggers book in some time, but I remember them as being a lot better than this. An absolute bore-fest which needed a solid content edit to clean out all the mundane nonsense, cut all the extraneous points of view and add in some actual suspense, mystery and stakes. Oh, and add some diversity, because this is yet another read in which everyone is white, straight and abled. And I don’t know if you’d noticed, but the world really isn’t like that. Making Georgina a queer woman of color, for example, would have added a WHOLE ‘nother layer of nuance and tension as she negotiated the situation in a very white Maine coastal town and the Irish Catholic law enforcement officers on the case.

Two stars, for a mystery suspense which failed to be either mysterious or suspenseful.

Rival's Break is available now.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for review via NetGalley.

[perahn]

Khem Tells A Story

There seemed to be no way out of Katy’s demand – at least, nothing that would not cause more difficulty later – and so Khemuret Xul wracked her brain. She could find, without difficulty, all the spells she had stored there, all of her dreams and memories, all of the facts she had taken such pains to learn, a good deal of history, and a vast quantity of stratagems, but could she find a story for the sorceress?

“A love story,” the half-elf elaborated further. “You know, star-crossed two people, or maybe more, who risk everything to be together, and there’s adventures and misunderstandings and maybe one of them thinks the other is dead but they’re not, then there’s a happy ending and they, you know, do it a lot.”

Of course. She should have guessed.

“Katy, I don’t think Khem wants to–“ Harper began.

“You must know lots of stories, Khem, you’re so smart. I bet you used to sit with your friends at wizard school and swap stories, right? Like ghost stories, everyone loves going ‘woooooooo’ in the middle of the night.”

“Wooooooo?” Shay repeated, presumably puzzled by this new addition to Katy’s vocabulary.

Khem just shook her head. There were so many things wrong with almost everything that came out of Katy’s mouth; sometimes the only thing to do was to give her what she wanted so that your head did not become too cluttered with her nonsense. “There is one story I could tell you. It’s not a love story, its ending is not entirely happy, but it fits most of the rest of your criteria.”

Katy nodded, her dark-smudged eyes growing wider.

Khem inwardly sighed, then looked over to the side of the fire where Jarnath sat - looking insufferably smug, as usual. One of the many people to whom she did not want to tell this story. “It will not be to your taste,” she warned him. “All the characters are female.”

The drow chuckled. “Oh, I think I can endure it. The sight of a Red Wizard telling bedtime stories should prove entertaining enough to make up for any narrative flaws. Besides, this is hardly likely to recur within my lifetime. It would be a shame to miss it.”

“As you will,” Khem said, and thought rapidly for a moment. How could she make this a little safer and easier to tell? “A final warning, then. I will tolerate two interruptions. No more.”

“Per person?” Katy asked.

“In total. If you want to hear all of the story, I suggest you exercise some self-control.”

“I can do that!” the sorceress said, beaming.

It was very unlikely that she would make it even to the middle. Khem closed her eyes, ordered her thoughts and memories, and began.

“There are many versions of this story,” she said, her words falling softly into the ring around the fire. “I believe every Red Wizard has their own, each a little different. Persuading one to tell you, of course, is another matter.” She shrugged, a little self-deprecatingly. “If I were speaking in Mulhorandi, I would tell you of two women, Reha and Nebastis. However, since Common is required, I will name them Ambition and Desire.”

Shay’s eyes met hers across the campfire. Her fellow Thayan knew perfectly well that while ‘Reha’ could be translated as ‘Ambition’ it was never used as a name, and conversely, that ‘Nebastis’ was indeed a name, but it did not mean ‘Desire’. The monk inclined her head slightly and said nothing, as Khem had known she would not. There were some matters in which Shay’s discretion was dependable.

“They had entered the Academy at the same time. Ambition specialised in Divination magic, wanting to uncover all the secrets of the world and use them to strengthen her position. Desire, however, favoured Illusion, so that she could make the world appear the way she wished it. As such, they had been at the Academy for several years before they really noticed each other.

“Both, you see, had chosen to position themselves in the eyes of their peers as quiet and reclusive, competent enough for occasional use, but not threatening enough to require removal. Ambition was very skilled at using this particular ploy to her advantage, and by the time she was fifteen, she had discreetly eliminated three students whom she considered dangerous. Desire, on the other hand, was more reactive in her politics; she had never been considered worth challenging, and she was content with that. Desire might, perhaps, have been the more intelligent of the two, but she was not as cunning as Ambition. She gave an answer, one day in a shared class, that made Ambition notice exactly what she was doing. And so Ambition chose to cultivate Desire, to draw her closer and into alliance.  

“Ambition… well, she was beautiful as all Thayans are, and of pure blood, naturally. But Desire was something more. She was…” Khem paused, tried to translate the phrases. She noticed that Jarnath was looking bored and supercilious, while Harper seemed poised to put his hand over Katy’s mouth and silence any potential interruptions. “She was like the Weave itself. She would lick her lips when she was thinking, and the room would fall quiet. I know no words in any language to describe the grace and precision of her hands, their long, slender fingers, how deft and sure they were in every movement. When she cast a spell, it was as though magic itself had been invented just as a backdrop for those hands. She was as near perfection as it is possible to imagine…or,” Khem added, in a slightly different tone, “so Ambition came to think.”

“These things took time, of course. Perhaps Desire was playing a passive stance, but she had nevertheless survived twelve years at the Academy; she was immediately suspicious of Ambition and her attempts to garner influence. But Ambition was patient and persistent, and so, eventually, the two became allies – in the Red Wizard fashion, which probably still resembles polite wariness to you outsiders. They would study together and occasionally share their insights. They would spend hours discussing the finer points of a spell. Desire requested that Ambition apply one of her scalp tattoos, and then returned the favour. Their alliance was noticed, as these things always are, and three students decided that eliminating Desire would prove a worthwhile blow to Ambition. Desire fought well, but she would have been slain if Ambition had not stepped in front of the Scorching Rays.”

“How… sentimental.” Much to Khem’s surprise, the first interruption came from the drow.

“Quite,” she agreed. “I did warn you the tale was unlikely to entertain you.”

“Does it count as an interruption if I ask something now?” Katy wondered.

Khem sighed. “I suppose not. And you just did.”

“What was that about the tattoos?”

Almost subconsciously, Khem rubbed a hand over her scalp. “It’s really quite basic, if you think for a moment. Attempting to tattoo one’s own head is unlikely to yield good results. The process is quite prolonged, and whether you choose to endure the pain or to make use of analgesia, you are certainly operating at a disadvantage while someone drills a needle into your head. For that reason, most students are tattooed by their instructors, who usually have no reason to harm them. Sometimes, however, there are exceptions. Someone who is overconfident might offer the task to a rival, hoping to provoke them into making a move.  Or, as in this tale, it might be done by an ally, to mark shared purpose and the balance of power.”

“You mean, as a gesture of trust.” Harper said.

“I really don’t,” Khem told him.

“Oh!” Katy nodded. “So, who did yours?”

“Mistress Kharzura,” Khem said, telling what was approximately seven-eighths of the truth. “One of the Divination instructors. Shall I continue with the story, or would you like to ask more irrelevant questions about my schooling?”

When nobody said anything more, Khem took a deep breath. “And so, late one night in the library, alone, invisible and nondetectable, and not long after Ambition had saved Desire’s life, Desire told Ambition two secrets. The first was that she wished for a time and place where they could be alone, and safe enough to… learn rather more of each other than they already knew. This was not… unanticipated. To tell the second secret, Desire leaned very close, so that her whisper was no more than warm breath against Ambition’s ear, and she said, “I trust you.”

Khem folded her hands tightly about each other, too much the Red Wizard to betray her discomfort with the words by any more obvious gesture. “As you can imagine, that is not something one hears often in a Red Wizard Academy, and the way Desire said it carried conviction. Ambition was struck silent for a time, and then she told Desire she would arrange some privacy for them.

“Desire understood very well that the words she had said to Ambition were not ones that she could say back to her – at least, not yet, and in her way she was quite as persistent as Ambition. She was willing to wait, and to see what would develop between them. So she smiled, and she kissed Ambition, and she left the matter there.

“Desire and Ambition were hardly the first Red Wizards who ever wanted some time together on neutral territory and free from interruptions; there are customary ways of arranging such trysts.” Khem looked around at her audience, and remembered – again – that possibly only the drow really understood what she meant. Well, that was not inconvenient; it would make it more like a story for them, and less like an inevitability. “So Ambition paid the doorkeeper, and notified Desire.

“When class had ended for the day, Ambition went straight to the room and made the usual sort of preparations. Desire met her there some hours later.” Khem let her eyes unfocus, staring at the cavern wall as though she could see the scene she described – partially to help her concentrate on what she was saying and what she was not, but mostly so she did not have to see whatever expressions her audience were wearing. “They were both Red Wizards, even when the red robes were discarded on the floor. They were, as I have said, patient, persistent, and adaptable. They possessed tongues agile in wrapping themselves around the intricate syllables of spellcasting, hands trained in delicate, precise gestures, and minds ever eager to learn. These assets may be turned to several uses – and were, before Desire was sated.”

There was a silence that mildly surprised Khem. She suppressed the urge to clear her throat. “Ambition looked down at Desire, asleep in her arms, and she thought. She remembered the tone in which Desire had spoken of her trust. She thought of Raelthi and Thazad – two legendary Red Wizards who had achieved extraordinary things, simply because they had trusted each other completely.

“But, then, Thazad had been slain defending Raelthi, and in her grief and fury, Raelthi had woken a volcano to bury them all. No. That did not appeal to Ambition at all.

“She thought of how quiet Desire had always been, and how clearly ill-suited for Red Wizard politics. If she were a sufficiently poor judge of character to trust Ambition, of all people, there was no way Desire would survive much longer at the Academy in any case. And perhaps it would be… kind. Desire had clearly tasted a happiness she had never expected. No other Red Wizard within the Academy walls would offer her anything but cruelty.

“That temptation, too, Ambition put aside. The one irrevocable mistake a Red Wizard can make is to start lying to herself. No. Ambition would act as Ambition always had, for Ambition’s sake and with a clear head.

“So as Desire lay smiling, Ambition did as she had intended to do from the first moment she had noticed the other Red Wizard. By the gentlest means in her power, Ambition slew Desire. She kissed the closed eyelids, rose, cleaned herself, dressed and went out into the Academy. There was so much more to do.”

“That’s so sad!” Katy exclaimed, then clapped her hand to her mouth.

“That’s the end,” Khem told her. “You need not fear to interrupt me.”

“Oh, well…” Katy went quiet.

The sorceress would flood her with questions soon, Khem was almost certain of it. Shay, on the other hand, would probably remain quiet. She knew Thay. Jarnath was chuckling – of course – and Harper… well, Khem wasn’t going to look at him to find out.

“Can I ask a question?”

It was mildly pleasant to be correct, even on an irritating subject. “As many as you like, Katy. However, I will only answer one.”

“In total?”

Well, she had exposed herself to an absurd degree by telling the sorry tale in the first place… “Per person.”

“Uh, Khem?” She looked over to see Shay with her journal open on her knee. “How exactly did Ambition kill Desire?”

The Long Death were not too interested in magic, despite their alliance with the Academy of Shifters and Seers; Khem doubted Shay would find the truthful answer satisfactory. “Cervical fracture, secondary to direct application of magic missiles to the vertebrae.”

“Huh,” Shay grunted, and began scribbling.

“So,” Katy said, “if Ambition was going to kill her girlfriend anyway, why save her from those other wizards? Was it about the sex? I bet it was about the sex.”

“Really?” Khem rubbed her eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh and glancing around the circle at the others. “Please tell me at least one of you understands this depressingly basic manoeuvre?”

Jarnath probably did, but he wasn’t saying anything, and the arrogant set of his features was no more informative than usual. Both Shay and Harper were shaking their heads.

“Katy. They were clearly identified as allies by that point. If you let your enemies kill your allies, your enemies conclude you’re weak. Nor will you be likely to contract another alliance, should you be interested in one. If, on the other hand, you kill an ally when they are no longer useful to you, you strengthen your position.” It was a ridiculously oversimplified way to explain the power dynamics involved, and she was not at all sure Katy understood it anyway. The sorceress was frowning to herself.

Khem sighed again. “I suppose you have a question as well, Jarnath?”

“Only one,” the drow said, his smirk widening. “Does telling this horribly crude little tale mark your intention to retrain as a bard?”

Khem thought, not for the first time, of how much she would enjoy killing him. “No.”

“Oh, that is a relief.” Jarnath yawned, an elaborately feline gesture of white teeth and curling tongue. “I would hate to see you throw away your adequate wizard career to become a mediocre bard.”

Adequate! Khem raised the corners of her mouth and bared her teeth in a grimace only the most careless would call a smile. “You need not add that to your stock of fears. I sing approximately as well as you sunbathe.”

“Indeed,” the drow said, and yawned again. “I believe I require something more entertaining before bed, or else I shall have the most dreary nightmares.”

“Oh, I have just the thing!” Katy picked up her cue immediately, and began digging in her bag for another of the trashy romance stories she had started lending to their guide. As she started extolling the plot – something about pirates and a runaway prince – Harper approached Khem.

“I suppose you have a question,” she said, resigned.

“As a matter of fact,” he said, and made himself comfortable beside her in a leisurely fashion, before leaning in and lowering his voice. “So, which of your tattoos did Neb- uh - Nestabis do?”

The angular pattern repeated – rather unconventionally – along her cervical, thoracic and lumbar vertebrae. The memory of those long, painful, candlelit hours flashed across her mind, surfacing only as a superior smile.

“Nebastis,” Khem corrected him, rolling her eyes. “Or Desire – I translated for a reason. The answer, of course, is none. You mustn’t read too deeply into allegories, Harper. Do I truly seem like someone who would allow desire that much power over me?” She bit her tongue on if so, please establish exactly which organ does your thinking for you.

“Well, you didn’t before you told that story.”

[recentanimenews]

Rent-a-Girlfriend – 12 (Fin) – The One He Wants

We’ve finally arrived at the end of one of the most frustrating, problematic rom-coms I’ve experienced in quite some time, and it ends pretty much how I expected: by not ending. But despite how hard it was to watch at times, I could never quite look away.

On not one but two occasions this week Kazuya shows signs of not only knowing what he must do but stepping up and doing or saying it, only to abandon the effort a half-step short of the finish line. First he does this with Ruka, realizing how lucky he is to have her and how unreasonable he is for feeling like she’s not enough.

He is right in the middle of telling her he’s ready to move past the “trial” period of their relationship and declare them “official”—only to be distracted by the arrival of Mizuhara and Mami at the karaoke parlor. It’s the first of two “showdown” scenes between the two women, and in this first one Mami has all the power and relishes wielding it.

Mami tells Mizuhara she didn’t book her to rag on her profession, but now that she knows she’s a rental, she couldn’t stay quiet. She doesn’t like the fact Mizuhara and Kazuya have had a fake relationship this long, and aside from deeming it bad for Kazuya, just watching it in practice pisses her off “a teensy bit.” None of her words are that harsh or cruel, but Yuuki Aoi’s expert delivery and Mami’s odd expressions make them feel like icy daggers.

Because this is a show where Everything is About Kazuya, Kazuya feels it’s his duty to not only eavesdrop on Mizuhara and Mami’s date, but pretend to be sick and excuse himself from work to follow them. Mizuhara rewarded him last time he did this, so why wouldn’t he do it again? He has an excuse ready to go: he doesn’t want Mizuhara to bear the brunt of Mami’s hate.

Meanwhile Ruka is left holding the bag, wondering if Kazuya was serious about making them official. Kazuya finds Mizuhara and Mami on a bridge about to wrap up the date, but not before a “rematch” of sorts, only this time with Mizuhara having a slight rhetorical edge.

Mizuhara asks Mami straight up how she feels about Kazuya, as she’s sure Mami still occupies a special place in the guy’s heart. Mami doesn’t take the bait, but tosses the question back to Mizuhara, suspicious that in a year of fake-dating, she’s fallen for Kazuya for real. Mizuhara simply states “He’s my boyfriend”, not adding the “rental” part because at this point, until the end of their contract, whether it’s a rental or not is irrelevant.

Mami considers that a dodging of the question and turns to leave, but Mizuhara grabs her hand and tells her they’re not done. As scenes of Kazuya crying about Mami flash by, Mizuhara tells Mami how being a rental girlfriend helped her realize the importance and difficulty of falling in love. She asks if Mami ever faced Kazuya’s feelings head on, in good faith, seriously engaged with his love, or considered that he may be the one to make her “happy for life”.

Mami tells her to buzz off under her breath, and states that all of that is between her and Kazuya. Fair enough, but Mizuhara wins this round. She knows Mami wouldn’t have bothered with this date if she didn’t care one way or another about Kazuya. Of the three lead women, Mami is the one most unready, unwilling, and unable to reckon with her feelings, preferring her cool, aloof, gives-no-fucks, bored-with-everything…facade.

That night, Kazuya is waiting by Mizuhara’s door when she comes home, confessing he saw and heart what she said to Mami, thanking her for having his back once again, and apologizing for not being able to do those things himself. Mizuhara then shocks Kazuya by apologizing in turn, for not being able to secure him a real girlfriend (apparently Ruka doesn’t count!).

As she’s suggesting he consider asking Mami out again, for closure if nothing else, Kazuya steps up to the plate, as he did with Ruka, and says something he should have said long ago: “You’re the one I want. It’s gotta be you.” At last, some progress! Only no, he immediately recants, saying he wants her “as a rental girlfriend”, before rushing into his apartment with a curt good night.

Yet another disappointing, immensely frustrating moment of failure for Kazuya, who comes away from the incident thinking it’s a sure thing that Mizuhara isn’t into him. Meanwhile, next door, a blushing Mizuhara wonders WTF just happened. I have no doubt if Kazuya had made it clear he truly did want her as a real girlfriend, it would have been better for both of them, whether Mizuhara accepted or rejected him.

Instead, as a closing montage indicates, it’s still very much anyone’s game when it comes to winning the Kazuya Sweepstakes. Sumi’s out there doing her job with renewed confidence, Ruka smiles at the phone background of her and Kazuya, Mami is utterly bored to death by her latest rich old dude, and Mizuhara is still showing up early for dates with Kazuya.

They’re still rental dates, and she’s still a rental girlfriend. I get it; that’s the name of the show. And the point of the show wasn’t really about Kazuya to end up with one girl over the others, but to explore the different ways in which we fall in love, now made more complex and at times strange via new technologies.

Kazuya was almost always abysmally hard to watch, but that was kind of the point too. What kept me coming back were Ruka, Mizuhara, Mami and Sumi—in that order—as much care was put into their voices, character designs, clothing, and personalities. They were the stars, while Kazuya was an unfortunate but necessary variable in the equation. If RaG were to return for a sequel, they’d be the ones who’d bring me back.

By: sesameacrylic

[hrryotter]

‘Sweetheart’ Review: ‘Cast Away’ Meets ‘Alien’ in J.D. Dillard’s Lean and Satisfying Creature Feature

There are two great images in J.D. Dillard’s “Sweetheart,” a lean creature feature that could have used just a little extra meat on its bones. The first — a moment widely hailed since the film’s Sundance debut this past January — hinges on the initial reveal of the monster, a humanoid fishman who spends most of its time lurking in the darkness, and looks like one of Guillermo del Toro’s roughest drafts whenever it swims into the light. The second has to do with a deliciously unnatural black hole that’s carved into the bottom of the ocean; a sunken portal that drills straight into your deepest fears.

Sweetheart

Beyond that, “Sweetheart” boasts precious little in the way of visual imagination. But what this potent micro-dose of a movie lacks in showmanship, it makes up for in purity and resourcefulness and a rugged performance from Kiersey Clemons that might feel revelatory if the “Hearts Beat Loud” actress weren’t always this commanding. Dillard trusts in his star to hold our attention, and his terse script — co-written with Alexs’ Hyner and Theurer — seldom does anything to dilute the elemental primacy of its premise.

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Equal parts “Cast Away” and “Alien,” “Sweetheart” is a horror fable about a girl who washes up on a deserted Fijian island, only to discover that a carnivorous amphibian creature of some kind comes up to the surface whenever the sun goes down. It doesn’t really get any more complicated than that, as even the eventual morsels of backstory only reinforce the irrelevance of additional information. When someone is stranded in the middle of nowhere and locked in a nightly battle for survival against a bipedal leviathan, it doesn’t really matter who they were yesterday.

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Her name is Jenn — that much we can glean from the stuff in her backpack — and she was on a boat of some kind with a few white boys who didn’t survive whatever cruel fate befell them. A guy named Brad is washed up on the sand, a killer hunk of coral sticking out of his chest; he lives just long enough to ask Jenn “Did you see it?” She’s too shocked to process what “it” there possibly could have been to see. Jenn finds another person she recognizes a bit further along the sand, and his head has been peeled off like the shell of a coconut. There will be other, even more ominous indications of trouble (e.g. a dead shark that’s streaked with giant claw marks), but Jenn is too busy thinking about food, shelter, and rescue to worry about that; there are plenty of things for her to fear without adding a hungry demon to the mix.

We don’t know where Jenn is from, or what she was like before she got here, but it’s clear that she isn’t especially well-prepared to live in the wild. She’s not an idiot by any stretch of the imagination, but she’s also not MacGyver; Jenn finds a waterlogged bag containing a Game Boy and a bottle of prescription meds — proof that she’s not the first person to wind up in this weird tropical hell — but this isn’t the kind of movie that ends with her rewiring a “Tetris” cartridge into a transistor radio, or poisoning the monster with a bottle of expired Xanax.

On the contrary, “Sweetheart” makes a point of stressing Jenn’s need for self-sufficiency. She isn’t going to get out of this by waiting for some kind of deus ex machina, and the film is principally concerned with the character’s inward focus. Eschewing dopey scenes of Jenn narrating her thought process for our benefit, Dillard relies instead on long stretches without a word being spoken, as his semi-panicked heroine tries to stave off feelings of helplessness. Jenn’s instincts aren’t always brilliant — at one point, she tries to sail away from the island inside an empty suitcase — but Clemons grounds every moment in such genuine desperation that you never feel compelled to judge her character the way you might the victims of a slasher movie. She’s doing her best, and that’s good enough. Judging by the film’s vaguely condescending title and the context that “Sweetheart” later provides for it, Jenn’s best might be even better than anyone thought, or than she was conditioned to expect from herself.

Dillard, whose “Sleight” wasn’t the most auspicious debut, also taps into his raw potential by going back to basics. “Sweetheart” is at its best and most intense during the earlier scenes where Jenn is still just trying to comprehend her situation, and Dillard makes a tasty snack out of the chaos. One especially gripping sequence in which Jenn hides from the monster inside a hollowed out tree trunk builds a visceral and immersive bit of cinematic terror from nothing but Clemons’ face, the dark void around her, and the nightmarish cacophony of noises that are coming from just inches away (the monster is more fun to listen to than he is to look at, as it taunts its prey with a guttural cry that makes it sound like it’s laughing at Jenn).