#it was great to reread and have emotions about with a ton of people though

[astriiformes]

You know what else? 2022 was also a really great year for fiction for me

My special interest in The Owl House continued through the whole year because Season 2B/the start of S3 were both phenomenal; I had a resurgence of feelings about the first Critical Role campaign because The Legend of Vox Machina really exceeded my expectations as an adaptation; The Locked Tomb series got me reading again in a BIG way; and now here at the end of the year I am a puddle of emotions about Pentiment and telling everyone I know to play it

All incredibly good stories, that also make me have emotions ABOUT stories, and all sort of interesting/weird/unique in their own way. There's some extremely tasty thematic intersections between them all too which I think is doing a lot for me as a storyteller and writer myself.

(Also they all have actual queer characters and I love that for them.)

[hellfirecvnt]

A Few Ways to Improve Your Writing (on Tumblr) from Somebody Who Has No Business Writing

*Specifically for writing fanfiction, though some of the tips are universal.

- Indenting. I usually only indent on mobile bc for some reason, it just throws them the fuck away on my laptop. To indent, I usually just do five "spaces." It just looks nicer (imo) and can help with readability.

Example:

This is a paragraph. In this specific paragraph, I'm showing you what an indention is. It's those five empty spaces at the beginning.

- Dialogue changes. When a character speaks, that's a new paragraph. When a different character speaks next, that's a new paragraph no matter how short the speech is. It's always a great storytelling device. You don't even have to label who is speaking every time if you properly use context clues in the rest of your story!

Example:

"I am speaking," said the man. He is a guy and he's totally speaking.

"Fuck you, Todd."

"Whoa." Todd was not expecting that.

- POV. It's easier said than done, but try to keep your story in the same point of view the whole time, or at least clarify when the POV is changing.

Example: Wrong

You smile at Dee. She's your best friend and has been since elementary school. You ask Dee to borrow a pencil and she happily obliges, passing her the pencil. She says thanks to Dee and the two best friends continue writing. (Confusing, especially for someone who isn't a native English speaker.)

Example: Right

You smile at Dee. She's your best friend and has been since elementary school. You ask Dee to borrow a pencil and she happily obliges, passing you the pencil. You say thanks to Dee and the two best friends continue writing. (Coherent and Cambria, baby.)

Additionally, to show an intentional change in POV, just announce it!

Example:

Dee's POV-

This bitch will not stop asking me for pencils.

Your POV-

Oh, fuck. I forgot my pencil again...

- Complete words. This may be a personal thing, but around the time that Stranger Things 4 came out, I noticed a TON of people just not using the first few letters of the first word of their sentences?? It's another one of those things that's unintentionally inaccessible for people who don't speak English as a first language.

Example: Wrong

"'m not tired yet," she said.

Example: Right

"I'm not tired yet," she said.

- If it's a reader insert, please do not describe Y/N. Pls don't mention hair texture, but a vague style is usually fine. Pls don't mention body size unless it's specified. Don't mention skin tone. Pleaseeee, don't take away from someone else's ability to see themselves in your work that's specifically meant for the reader to see themselves in. Lots of communities don't ever get to see themselves in media, don't take fanfiction from them too.

- Use bold/italics. Both of these things can breathe a whole new life into what emotion you're trying to convey.

Example: No bold/italics

"I told you not to go there. Now we're both screwed."

Example: with bold/italics

"I told you not to go there. Now we're both screwed."

- Reread periodically. When writing a story for a few days, take a moment to go back and reread everything you've put down so far. You'd be surprised by how many little details and storytelling devices you'd forgotten about between writing sessions.

- Hit "Save Draft" literally every 15 minutes or any time you set your phone down if you write on mobile. Speaks for itself.

- AI will fuck you over. Don't be a fuckin' loser.

- Your ideas are NOT bad. Don't water down your vision in hopes that more people will read it. There really is something for everybody. You're doing yourself and your audience a disservice by changing your storyline to be more "mellow" or "relatable." It can be big, it can be dramatic, it can be weird, it can be angst or fluff or smut or literally anything bc YOU made it! No matter what, there will be people who love it with all their flesh and bones and people who scroll past after the first few sentences. It's all about chemistry or something idfk.

(Drop more tips in the comments/tags/reblogs for the new writers of Tumblr ((and me)) to learn and grow!)

[flightfoot]

Top Ten Best Completed Miraculous Fics Of 2023

So I've made reclists for a ton of the Miraculous fics and series I recommend that finished in 2023, but as you may have noticed, those are rather expansive. So I decided to do a ranking of the ten best Miraculous fics from 2023 as well! (at least in my eyes). These naturally trend towards longer fics, though there are some that are on the shorter end. The shortest is under 30,000 words!

A lot of these you could swap around the order on, but the top fic... yeah the top fic is top for a reason.

Some of these fics were really popular, while others are virtually unknown, they run the entire gamut. I hope everyone checks these out though if they haven't already, there's both some hidden gems and some very well recognized gems in here!

All of these were part of earlier reclists that I made. All of those fics are in this collection I set up on AO3 called "Keyseeker's Choices For Best Completed Miraculous Fics of 2023". I really hope everyone checks it out, I've got commentary/reviews for every entry in the collection, and there are over 150 entries!

I'm gonna just be copying the descriptions I wrote for the fics on the earlier reclists, as I wrote those shortly after finishing reading the fics when they were fresh in my mind, and as great as these fics are, I don't have the time nor bandwidth to reread them all.

10.

Found by @trishacollins

Chat Noir and Ladybug need to tie up some loose ends. Unfortunately, one of those ends is Felix.

This is a fantastic fic! It’s part of a wider series wherein Adrien and Felix were friends with Nooroo and Duusu from a younger age, but Adrien’s memory was wiped of it by his parents, but this is the first fic you really need to read. Basically, after the events of Emotion, Chat confronts Felix about what he did, and Felix confesses to being a Sentibeing, and Duusu reveals to Chat that he is one as well, leading to Felix cooperating with the heroes. 

Of all the fics I’ve read that tackle the subject, this one does the best job of giving Felix a redemption arc for his actions in the season 4 finale, focusing not only on how he hurt the heroes, but the kwamis. I loved that he truly understood how much he fucked up with the situation he put the kwamis in, how much suffering he put them through, and that the kwamis were allowed to be angry at him for awhile afterwards, to be suspicious and untrusting towards him at first (and that Marinette was allowed to do the same). Felix screwed up and hurt people, and he had to really show that he understood what he did was wrong, why it was wrong, and try to help the people he hurt.

---

9.

The Ghost in the Machine by @jheqiawrites

As part of this function, Adrien knew about Monarch, the akuma butterflies, the victims, and, of course Ladybug and Cat Noir, the heroes of Paris. He was authorized to contact the Ladyblog as well as the citywide alert system if one of his platforms was active during an akuma manifestation, allowing his friends to get somewhere safe until Ladybug and Cat Noir could deal with the situation

While the necessity of these functions was disconcerting, it was programmed to be his routine so he gradually grew used to the inconsistencies. After all, humans tended to be selfish, highly inconsistent, and often flighty, but once you had observed them for a while an intelligence such as his could begin to see the patterns.

That is until she came online.

This is just a beautiful, though bittersweet story. I adore how Alliance!Adrien grows and changes throughout the story, how he develops as a person. He starts off not being able to figure out what he’s feeling, needing to make new modules in order to try to process the emotions he has welling up, and not totally understanding his own reactions. But as time goes on he grows and gets a better handle on himself. This isn’t an “evil AI” story, he’s just a person who’s slowly figuring out who he is and how to handle himself. 

Not that it’s entirely about Adrien Alliance figuring out his own emotions, there’s other things going on as well. He’s worried about why there seems to be weird surges in the Alliance Network right before akumas attack, for instance, and why the details about the reason for that seem to be hidden from him, making him more paranoid about the Alliance system the more he looks into it...

 It’s just... it’s really good and absolutely worth a read. 

---

8.

Kwami Magi Homura Magica by Crossoverpairinglover

After eighty-four loops in time, Homura Akemi takes a new path to Paris to save her friends.

The sixty-third loop after that, Homura arrived at the Agreste Mansion.

After clash after clash with the heroes of Paris and its greatest menace, events have reached a tipping point.

Ladybug faces someone verging on a second wish, a wish that endangers space and time to save a friend.

This was an absolutely AMAZING story that crossoverpairinglover dropped out of NOWHERE. Seriously, if you like Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Miraculous Ladybug, this is a real treat - but be prepared to sit down and binge, because it’s over 100,000 words and only has three chapters. 

Anyway, I adore the care that’s taken with going through Homura’s mindset here, she gets a lot of character focus. And the lore! There’s some good explanations here for the history behind kwamis and Incubators’ interactions, and the Order of the Guardians normally treats Magical Girls, and why the Incubators are wrong in their assessment of the universe needing more energy to stave off entropy (hint: it involves Plagg), and just... there was a lot of love put into this.

And the action! Most Miraculous fics don’t have much in the way of fight scenes, and what they do have is mostly just functional. This is one of the rare exceptions. There’s some really long, detailed fight scenes in this (roughly the entire second half of the second chapter has one between Ladybug and Homura), which are a treat to read! 

We also get some glimpses into a variety of other universes here, other timelines, alternate ways things could have gone down - I’m especially partial to the rather detailed view we get of one where Homura sent a message asking for help to the Ladyblog on her third time loop, and how things progressed from there. 

The ending I also thought was really good, a happy ending that generally made sense and dealt with the issue of the Incubators. 

If you can’t tell I’m really happy with this fic, it was incredible and unexpected. The length of the individual chapters can be daunting, but if you’re up for the task, I highly recommend giving it a shot!

---

7.

you made me a hero - reverse crush short stories series by @non-fantasy

This series is just plain fun! Like the title says, it’s a reverse crush AU, so Adrien’s head-over-heels for Marinette, while Ladybug’s smitten with Chat Noir. Which means that Adrien’s constantly trying to woo Marinette while Ladybug’s attempting to have normal conversations with Chat Noir (and failing), and both of them are oblivious to each other’s feelings. 

I love the way non-fantasy executes it, with Alya literally carrying around a spray bottle because of how eager Adrien is, and Ladybug being VERY SCARY if you ever lay a finger on Chat Noir (seriously akumas will literally beg for their akumatized object to be broken just to escape her wrath). 

Oh, also, Ladybug regularly stops by Adrien’s room so they can both lament how difficult of a time they’re having wooing their crushes, and just have fun together.

There’s a lot of entries in this series - 29 of them in fact - but most of them are pretty short, making it great if you want to devour some quick, cute, hilarious romcom action! 

Some stuff does actually change over the course of the series, it’s not just slice-of-life. Like identity reveals, dating, and even Hawkmoth’s defeat, so there’s clear progression and changes in circumstances as well.

---

6.

The Parable of the Caller by @nemaliwrites

A week after Hawk Moth’s identity has been revealed, Adrien finds himself with nowhere to go, nothing he can do, and worst of all, strange gaps in his memory he can’t explain. In a stroke of luck, he stumbles upon a burner phone filled with voicemails from one of the Saviors of Paris: Chat Noir himself, who disappeared following Hawk Moth’s arrest.

But with each new voicemail Adrien listens to, he’s forced to confront the fact that there might be some kind of connection between himself and Chat Noir — and discovering it might leave him more broken than before.

I absolutely adore this fic, it’s a fantastic character study for Adrien! Basically in this universe, Ladybug and Chat Noir talked about who should be Guardian, with Chat eventually convincing her that he should be the one to take it on, primarily due to the whole “the Guardian gets amnesia about Miraculous-related matters” situation, and wanting to protect Ladybug from that. Then he finds out Gabriel is Hawk Moth, they take him down, and he relinquishes the Miracle Box and his guardianship to Su Han - all without having a Reveal with Ladybug, since well, he’s not in the greatest shape mentally at the time.

It’s a real treat to see Adrien’s thoughts and feelings about one of the Heroes of Paris leaving him all these voicemails, treating him like this close friend for reasons he doesn’t understand, and just seeing Chat Noir as this outside person. He’s got a very different viewpoint on Chat when looking from the outside than he would from the inside, with being able to see his heroic and good qualities far more easily when he doesn’t know that he is Chat.

Also Marinette’s struggling in the background of the fic with the loss of her partner and guilt over sending Adrien’s father to prison. It gets touched on at various points, and you can tell that she’s having her own story off to the side that we’re just not entirely privy to, what with this tale being told entirely from Adrien’s perspective.

---

5.

Dreams of You by @chocoluckchipz

Dreams had long been his only escape. Dreams of Ladybug, the girl who had always been there for him.

If only in his dreams. And only while she was also sleeping.

Because with the first rays of sunshine gliding over her skin, with the first fluttering of her eyelashes, from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning, memories of Adrien would vanish from her mind.

She would go on living her life.

He would always be the only one who remembered.

At least until they meet in the real world and fall in love all over again, something that would’ve been easier to do if Adrien wasn't a prisoner in his own home.

Chocoluckchipz has some of the most beautifully executed lovesquare fics I’ve read, and this is no exception. Most of the fic is dedicated to Adrien wooing Marinette, spending time with her, with her own dream self acting as his wingman, giving her tips on how to get her to fall for him, all the while frustrated that she can’t share memories with her waking self, and that she and Adrien can’t share as much information as they’d like while asleep, due to limitations of the “curse” that allows Adrien to share dreams with his soulmate. 

It’s not all cute Adrienette fluff though. There’s a threat in the background waiting to erupt, as the weirdness of Gabriel’s ultimatum to Adrien about finding Ladybug or else being forced to marry Lila keeps on gnawing at him - and with good reason. This is a world with magic and kwamis still, and that fact makes itself very relevant in the last third of the story. 

It’s a well-written tale and very much worth a read!

---

4.

Accidents Are Also Miracles by @liiinerle

After a few turbulent days where four new people discover her secret identity, Marinette loses faith in her ability to keep the secret hidden. Wracked with doubts and insecurities, she pleads with Alya to take over as Scarabella, but she still can't let those worries go. Especially not once Monarch starts taking a particular, and personal, interest in her.

Along the way, she also starts to date Kagami, and has to deal with changing feelings about herself, Adrien, Alya, Kagami, and the idea of being Ladybug. At the same time, Alya works to uncover Monarch's secret identity, while Kagami struggles against a controlling parent, and a girlfriend who seems bent on destroying herself - with or without Monarch's involvement.

Fantastic Marigami fic here! You’ve got three major POVs in this fic: Marinette, Kagami, and to my delight, Alya. I loved getting to see Alya cope with taking over as Scarabella especially.

But of course, this fic centers more around Marinette and Kagami, with Marinette struggling with Monarch targeting her, and Kagami struggling against her abusive parent, as well as both of them trying to navigate their relationship together when they know that not everyone will approve. 

There’s also some other plots going on in here, like Sabrina breaking away from Chloe and becoming more independent (and closer to Adrien in fact), as well as a Lila takedown plot, though thankfully not one that involves demonizing other characters. While there are conversations about people believing Lila and siding with her, no one’s actually attacked for it except for Lila herself.

Oh yeah, and while this fic may not have much focus on Adrien, he’s still treated fairly and with respect, even when he messes up. He can make mistakes, but people understand where he’s coming from, and are still kind to him and want things to be okay, and to help him escape his abusive circumstances.

---

3.

Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

---

2.

drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat

Everybody had expected Monarch's defeat to be a moment of triumph. Nobody had expected Gabriel Agreste, unmasked and mind frayed from continual abuse of the miraculous, crying out to all who would listen and making Paris certain of one thing:

His son, Adrien Agreste, is one of his sentimonsters.

And now he's missing.

Nobody can find him— not even the superheroes, and not even his closest friends. But Marinette, Nino, and Alya aren't ones to give up so easily. They'll find him, no matter what it takes.

(But, geez, would it kill Chat Noir to lend a hand?)

I’m sure everyone saw this one coming. If there’s one thing buggachat’s good at, storywise, it’s capturing raw, tumultuous emotions, frantic breakdowns as the characters desperately try to navigate bad situations. This was a real treat to read, as I’m betting most people reading this will agree, given just how popular the fic has been. It also has a ton of fanart, both by buggachat and by random fans, if you go looking for it (there’s a drowning in plain sight tag which I’d advise perusing). 

---

1.

one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

---

So that's my list! I'm sure many people will disagree with me (especially since most of these fics haven't even cracked 1000 kudos, so there are a lot of other fics out there that people have read more of), but these fics made the biggest impression on me this year, and I hope they make an impression on you as well!

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: A Jingle Bell Mingle by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

4.75/5. Releases 9/24/24.

The Vibes: roommates with benefits, widower angst, porn star/boy bander, tons of banging; tons of emotional constipation

Heat Index: 8/10

The Basics:

Five years, former boy bander (and People's Sexiest Man Alive) Isaac Kelly suddenly lost his wife Brooklyn—and he'll never love again. Two years ago, Isaac had the first sexual experience since his wife died (I mean, his only sexual experience with anyone OTHER than his wife) in the form of a threesome with porn stars Jack and Sunny. NOW, he's back in Christmas Notch, moping in a mansion as he tries to write a Christmas album. Sunny's in town too, NOT moping as she tries to write a Christmas movie script. It's all too convenient for them to become temporary roommates... and maybe roommates with benefits. But all Isaac can offer Sunny is sex—and while that seems like a good idea to a woman who can't say "I love you", once she starts feeling feelings... It might not be enough.

The Review:

I knew this would be good. But it was better than good. It was the perfect culmination of the Christmas Notch series—the rare series that really just kept getting better. The three main books are all great, but each one was superior to the last for me (the novellas are fab too, but I need to rethink and rank them separately).

They're Christmas-y (but not so Christmas-y that I at all regretted reading this in July... I'll just reread it closer to the date). They're SUPER hot (more on that below). They're body-positive, sex worker positive (Sunny is no longer active in the industry once this story really begins, but she has no bad feelings about it) and deal with actual issues while maintaining a fun, heartwarming tone. Oh, and they're fucking hilarious. It's surprisingly hard to find romcom books that are actually funny, but—here you go!

What makes this book so special is that, while you have the framing of Sunny trying to find Isaac his muse while Isaac tries to help her write her script (almost like... a muse...), this is really a character piece. So much time is spent building up Isaac and Sunny's relationship. While I kind of refuse to call this "friends to lovers" because the reality is that these two are super into each other from the jump—albeit moreso physically than emotionally in the beginning—you do truly believe in their bond. Their emotional connection is just as intense as their sexual connection, which is, um, pretty intense.

And dude. If you read the previous books first—not strictly necessary but HIGHLY recommended—you'll see that Isaac is just... so depressed. Like, not leaving his house depressed. Ironically, his threesome with Jack and Sunny kind of jolted him back to life? And that's all it's supposed to be. So he's not in complete "wallowing in grief" mode here, but he is still very sad, and really only half-enjoying life. But Sunny is by no means a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She has her own responsibilities. She has her own goals. And she has her own problems—if this book has any weakness (and it's minor) it's that Sunny's problems aren't quite as dramatic or compelling as Isaac's. But they're still valid, and they're integral to her growth. Point is: Sunny has her own deal, and Isaac helps her with her deal just as much as she helps him with his, and they also both have a lot of growing to do.

But anyway, what Isaac's deal gets us is a lot of sweet, SWEET angst. Not the level of angst you'll find in some of Sierra Simone's darker works. Just enough angst to have me feeling the fucking emotions, though. There's a moment late in this book that is the conflict I was SO hoping would come up. A conflict that is honestly quite real, but still a gut punch. And soooo satisfying to see resolved. We may have a "snowmobile for your love" moment. Can neither confirm or deny.

Finally, it's a great time to see everyone in Christmas Notch together again. Bee and Nolan! Winnie and Kallum! The North Pole dancers! Luca and Angel! Krysta and Addison! And we get some really good Teddy Ray and Steph content. I love Teddy Ray. Such a unique character. Rarely do you get a "wholesome porn peddler" stepfather figure in a contemporary romance series, and seeing him get his HEA with Steph was incredibly sweet.

The Sex:

RIDICULOUSLY hot. All of these books are hot, but there was something about Sunny and Isaac falling in love, each encounter becoming more intimate, while remaining in such deep denial about their feelings...

I mean, photo booth sex... creative usage of gingerbread lotion (a big thing in this series)... butt stuff with the HERO as the recipient, something we don't see enough of in m/f romance... And Isaac is a bit bossy! Which we love to see!

You really feel like these two can be honest with their feelings in the bedroom, without words. Which I am SUCH trash for.

Also, loved how casual the book was about Isaac and Sunny both being bi, their threesome with Jack, Isaac being pushed onto dates (by Sunny) with men and women. It's just the norm, which is in fact standard for pretty much all Sierra Simone books. Love.

Anyway, this is great, a perfect finale for a series I've loved and can't recommend enough. Read it during the holiday season. Read it now. Read it next summer. I mean, read it ASAP because you'll love it. But I might do an entire series reread around Christmas, to be real. These are CLASSICS.

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[relaxxattack]

here by popular demand, wof books ratings

i haven’t read several of these in quite a while-- i might do an updated version of these ratings after i finish my series reread :] also obvious disclaimer is obvious but this is PURELY my opinion. my taste. lol

the dragonet prophecy: wonderful setup to the world, surprisingly dark and graphic on a reread (how was this for children), really interesting and cool worldbuilding in both the sky and the mud kingdom. clay is also a great protagonist, with a nicely done emotional arc, and peril is here in her prime weirdgirlness. introduces queen scarlet, most iconic villain of all time. 9/10

the lost heir: this used to be one of my favorite books due to the murder mystery aspect, and i would reread it a lot. tsunami has a neat emotional arc here about learning maturity, which i enjoy. however the constant coral apologism, the annoyingness of everything to do with riptide and webs, the bland hetero romance, and the upsetting stuff that seems to get brushed to the side constantly, especially in regard to anemone, has caused this book to become way less enjoyable to me as an adult. 6/10

the hidden kingdom: also used to be one of my favorites for reasons that are probably obvious (kins glory). there’s a fun kind of “girl power” message to the way that glory has to fight to be taken seriously by literally anybody in this book. there’s also interesting mystery aspects again. looking back on it, though, the fact that the prejudiced carictures about rainwings turn out to be true is... weird? and of course, don’t even get me started on how this book used to include the one straight couple i didn’t find annoying, until several years later tui decided to retcon an age gap in. now reading this book feels just all kinds of weird, when it wasn’t before and really didn’t have to be. kind of a mixed bag. 7/10

the dark secret: i have no idea why people constantly rate this one so low. sure, starflight’s obsession can be grating at first, but i find the setting and atmosphere writing in this one to be incredible, all the island characters the interesting and fun kind of terrible-- and not to mention this book contains the two biggest plot twists in the whole series. the tension in this one is as palpable as the smoke in the air, and i think it’s really fun and full of a ton of iconic and memorable scenes. 9/10

the brightest night: this one is fun and camp. i enjoy it a lot, and sunny is such a great character to have as a pov. my only problem with it is how it feels kind of rushed-- there’s a lot of emotional legwork done in only the span of one or two thirds (specifically regarding thorn, i think she would have been a stronger character if shed been introduced in a prior book so we had time to be attatched). i like the solution that the dragonets came up with, and enjoyed them putting it all together, and i kind of wish they’d gotten to actually see it through as they planned-- at least a little further than they got without needing magical interference. aka let’s stop using magic as a deus ex machina. 7/10

moon rising: this is probably my favorite wings of fire book. moon’s quiet and anxious pov is wonderful, and the masterful way her abilities were used to give depth and atmosphere to her surroundings and peers was so enjoyable. it feels like you get a bit of everyone’s pov instead of just hers, for obvious reasons. this one also has some of the most iconic scenes, including the introduction of a soon to be infamous villain, and of course some of the most fan favorite characters out there. not to mention the younger characters and the school settings is very fun, there are so many super well-described scenes that hit hard. all in all this book is slightly spooky, slightly sad, but incredibly enjoyable. the best possible start to a new arc for the series. 10/10

winter turning: it’s fun to have such a zuko-esque character take center stage here. following winter’s journey through coming to terms with his abusive upbringing is emotionally cathartic, even if some scenes make you grit your teeth in annoyance at him. winter’s feelings are complicated and confusing, and it’s really cool to watch him slowly begin to change his opinions about things in real time. it’s such a shame his character gets shortchanged later on. also icewing society is very dystopian main character energy, but, it’s a fantasy series for children. and it’s fun and interesting, so i like it. 8/10

escaping peril: yandere characters have never been my thing, and peril seems to ocillate between that and between a sassy weirdgirl. and to be honest, i’ve never been sure how to feel about that. i find the yandere stuff creepy, but when she’s being a normal weirdgirl i find it strange to just pretend all the murder didn’t happen. she’s a complicated but enjoyable character who i don’t have a very definitive opinion on. aside from peril herself, though, her emotional arc in this book is fun, and the peril-turtle duo is something i never saw coming but something i need infinitely more of. they’re hilarious. several points in this book had me gasping and on the edge of my seat when it originally came out. overall a fun book. 8/10

talons of power: this book mainly seems to exist to move characters around and get plot pieces in motion for the next book. i really enjoy turtle as a character, however, and his family dynamics are interesting and tragic. there’s more coral apologism in this book, although in a different tone-- like they figured out she’s shitty, but not all the reasons yet. darkstalker is extremely creepy. the anemone twist is fascinating, and turtle and qibli’s dynamic is a treasure. 7/10

darkness of dragons: they had me in the first half. 😐 in this book they give you like twenty chapters of qibli and winter flirting and cool backstory reveals for qibli before they decide that they’re actually going to wrap this arc up in the most annoying way possible by saying that qibli learns no lessons ever, winter gets completely fucked over by both his friends and the narrative, moon sympathizes with a genocidal overlord and then is disappointed when people don’t agree with her, and then one of the kindest characters in the series commits Brain Destruction on said genocidal overlord. and also the 20 chapters of queerbaiting gets completely ignored in favor of drawing out the annoying as fuck love triangle and then picking the most boring option. i do Not like how this book ended the arc. what a sad way to wrap up the brilliant thing moon rising started. 3/10

darkstalker: a prequel with absolutely RIVETING worldbuilding, fun characters, cool atmosphere, extremely tragic circumstances, and worst of all you know how it’s going to end. we all know how it’s going to end. and yet we all sit there and watch. hoping and begging and pleading that they’re able to change the course of a story that’s already set in stone. wonderful, fantastic, show-stopping, brilliant. i love fathom and whiteout. this story manages to make every touching moment heartbreaking when you know it’s all in vain and all you can do is watch the slow descent. incredible. 10/10

dragonslayer: a prequel where there’s. humans who talk i guess. 😐 who thought this was a good idea. the only redeeming quality is sky, which isn’t surprising considering he’s the Only Dragon. 4/10

[clumsyclifford]

2, 6, 11, 13, & 33 pls bella!! ♥️

thank you annie !!! answering these is probably gonna make me late to the acappella concert but i don't care <3

2. What’s a medium you’ve always wanted to try? aghhh i tried my hand at making gifs a while ago (like two years maybe lmao) but they were shitty because (1) i don't use or know how to use photoshop and (2) i don't know anything about gifmaking, so i haven't revisited it. but i would like to learn more about it and try to make actually good ones because when i hear gifmakers talking about shit like "coloring" the gifs im like ?? you do what to them ?? so yeah it would be nice to pull back the curtain on that at least a little

6. What’s a theme you find in your work? i answered this for hazel and i cannot think of another answer at the moment sorry lmao so i'm gonna copy/paste what i wrote for her

friendship! and also, the importance of kitchens! friendship is hugely important to me as a person with a shit ton of friends and also as a person who has never been in a relationship - considering i’m always writing fic that is about a romantic relationship i also always want to emphasize the importance of having people in your life who are not your Love Interest. and how much they can add meaning to your life in ways that are equal to but different than the way a Love Interest can.

11. What part of the process of creating brings you the most joy? answered this for hazel as well but let me think of something else!! OH when i write something that elicits the emotional reaction in myself that i want it to elicit in others. like if i write a line that's supposed to be funny and then every time i read it i laugh, that's a winner. or when i finish writing an emotional scene and then go back to reread it and am like holding my breath........THAT'S how you know.

13. Is there something you’d like to see created but you know you can’t/won’t do yourself? damn you and hazel really overlapped on these questions! i'll just copy/paste my answer for this one bc i don't think i have another:

probably! although to be honest usually it’s the reverse, where i don’t know that i want to see something created until it is, and then i see it and i’m like damn i wish i had done this but also i couldve never done this. it’s a great experience though because then once ive read it i can be like wow that was amazing because i got the same feeling i get when rereading my own work (the feeling of “this is exactly the thing i wanted to read”) but without having to put in all the effort of writing it !! it’s awesome. that is how i feel about @burstingsunrise’s muke fic interlude. i also feel this way about most of @reveriesofawriter’s writing.

33. Sneak peak at a wip 👀 oh gladly i love sharing stuff from my wips okay here's a little taste of what i'm writing for the songfic event hazel is running

“C’mon, tell me,” Michael wheedles. “Is it about Ashton again?” “Isn’t everything?” Luke sighs. “All your recent mental breakdowns have been about Ashton,” says Michael. “It was an educated guess.” “This isn’t a mental breakdown.” “You spontaneously dyed your hair,” Michael says with a shrug. “It’s at least kind of a mental breakdown.”

is it a mental breakdown yes or no vote now on your phones

creatives ask list

[kaistarus]

Hey I read your fics (even the BNHA even though I haven't seen it yet) and they're all so great!?!

I've been looking for someone to who writes about nishinoya bcs that little man has an unexplainable hold on me and the way you write is just SO comforting and fun to read!

I have a couple of drafts in my word document but its been such a long time since I've last written sth and mostly it was only ever for myself to read, so I'm a bit nervous to upload anything.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you start writing and eventually posting it online?

I hope you have a great day! :)

Thank you so much for this!! :) It really got me thinking tbh lol

I've just always loved writing. I'm literally always writing. I write small things on my notes app, word doc, notebooks. I probably have twenty-thirty fics I'm too lazy to edit or just not satisfied with enough to post and a ton half-deas/random dialogues in my notes app lmao

I've read a lot of guides/articles on my own. I know my weakest areas, so when I'm reading books I pay attention to those sections to learn

I think I started posting because some of my ideas gave me a lot of emotion when I wrote them. I thought if I felt that way someone else might too and that was worth sharing. I mean, I had so many ideas for Noya and he had WAY less content. I felt like I could fill a void for people like me with brainrot at the time lol

idk if it gets less scary haha I'm always nervous. But even if people hate it, I know I'll love rereading it which is worth it

I hope this was what you were looking for and not me rambling about nonsense lmaoo

[warden-melli]

To be fair, Irida is based on Palkia, the living embodiment of space that makes up the very universe itself. So it could be argued that in a very real way we kind of are lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t think I communicated what I meant well after rereading that last part lol, so my fault entirely. I do believe that Irida knows that Palina is upset, but my interpretation is that the reason she’s upset has more to do with Irida choosing to compete with her for the title in the first place, Irida being perceived as more talented for her skill with the flute, and especially beating her to become leader of their clan, as opposed to solely being about Irida’s performance as leader. While Irida’s leadership style is a factor, and an important one at that, I believe it’s her fixation on the other stuff, and the emotional way she communicates that when angered, that is the biggest factor in why she has soured towards Irida, even though she claims that her leadership style is the primary conflict. Irida knows that Palina is upset, but she perceives it to be about how she’s running the clan, when a great deal of Palina’s concerns seem to come from feeling of being betrayed and upstaged by Irida in a more personal sense. While she’s upset with the decisions Irida has made as leader, she’s more upset that Irida chose to compete with her in the first place and was selected as the leader at all. What I should have said was “upset with her at all personally, and not just the decisions she’s made as leader”.

(It’s also worth considering if Palina’s anger at Irida’s leadership, and not making the decisions that she would as leader come entirely from a place of genuinely thinking that her ideas are better for the clan, or frustration that she has to appeal to her little sister to make changes that she otherwise would have been able to do herself if she’d been the one chosen. It can also be argued that Palina is out of line challenging Irida so much, as if she truly respected her position as leader she would respect her decisions and wouldn’t actively strive to cause trouble for her among their people. I think there’s room for tons of nuance here)

Your interpretation is completely valid, but I personally I think it’s deeper then Palina just not liking the nickname all of a sudden. Given the fact that both are adults (Irida refers to Palina as a woman, while Akari refers to Irida as a woman - which by definition is defined as an adult that identifies as a woman (trans women are women)), and that Palina is implied to be a bit older than Irida, it seems strange to me that Palina would randomly now decide that she doesn’t like the nickname all of a sudden, despite seemingly being fine being called that nickname as an adult until recently. Irida’s force of habit slip ups heavily imply to me that Palina rejecting the use of the nickname is very recent, as given Irida’s fondness for her, it’s extremely unlikely that she would do this and upset upset Palina deliberately, and that if given more time to get used to the change it’s less likely that she would make this mistake so consistently. We also know that Irida has only been leader for a short time, and given that Irida’s leadership is the root of their conflict, and Palina has only recently rejected the nickname, I can’t help but connect all of these events, as I genuinely don’t really understand Palina’s motivation otherwise?

I suppose it is possible that she could have randomly just decided she didn’t like it? Personally I don’t think that the phrase “silly old name” implies that it’s just a nickname at all. To me, I interpret it as her way of reestablishing their new dynamic, and communicating to Irida that that nickname, as well as the way their friendship used to be is firmly in the past. The more I think about an interpretation where it is just an old nickname that Irida has consistently chosen to use despite Palina communicating that she doesn’t like it, the more I can understand the point of view of those who interpret Irida’s use of it in an entirely negative way, something I’d never considered before.

It’s so fun to talk about and to try and understand other people’s interpretations and points of view! Like I said, I would have never considered a lot of this before and it gives me a ton to think about ^^

AGREED WITH UR TAGS. their friendship and relationship is so interesting because there's like. a LOT to it i think. i think its interesting in showing irida's flaws as a leader until she's able to learn a bit more about it and how to forge her own path but palina's response is also very interesting and it kinda makes me wonder about her response to the events, not just irida's pleading for her to train growlithe but to irida becoming the leader. and also like, what happens after they make up, that kind of thing.

some people interpret it as them just never getting along again, but i do like to think they eventually make up again, despite palina giving her a bit of tough love during the player's second visit to firespit island and the whole heatran thing. also irida seems like she wants to be on good terms with them again, so i do think they make up again, but just thinking about their friendship with one another (and how someone in the pearl clan suggests that due to irida having a dead mother when she was young, palina is someone she's very close to) is like. very interesting and i like it. sorry for the wall of text i have many thoughts about All Things Irida

Agreed their friendship is so interesting and I just keep thinking about it. I agree that Irida had a lot to learn about being a leader at the start of the game (as did Adaman), but even so I feel like Palina was a bit unfair to Irida, and I personally feel like their conflict is based on jealousy over Irida being selected as leader over Palina, and also Irida not wanting to accept that the nature of their relationship has changed as opposed to Irida’s shortcomings as leader

Like, we know that the two used to be super close, with Irida considering Palina to be an older sister that she clearly looked up to. We also know that the two competed to be leader of their clan, and that Irida was ultimately the one selected to be leader

I do understand Palina’s disappointment. It has to hurt to try really hard, but fail to achieve a position that you really, really wanted. Especially if you lost to somebody younger that you, and who you served as a mentor figure for. It may also hurt more after the incident with Lord Arcanine sr, as the trauma of the event may may have made her feel like she also failed in her duties as warden. I think it’s evident that Palina despite scolding Irida for acting as if their positions haven’t changed, still sees Irida as her little sister first, and doesn’t truly respect her as leader

I keep coming back to this dialogue - It really makes me think that this may have been a deciding factor in why Irida was selected as leader over Palina, and she’s clearly still very upset and bitter about it

I don’t like how quick Palina was to embarrass Irida in front of both the player and Iscan, especially after Irida challenged her by attempting to lay down boundaries as leader. Palina claims to know and accept that Irida is the leader, yet scolding her in front of everyone like she’s a child isn’t a good way to show it. I also get that she doesn’t want to be called that nickname anymore, but I don’t think Irida is doing it maliciously at all. It genuinely seems to be a force of habit, but even still Palina has requested she stop, so she really does need to work on that. In saying that though, I don’t think that Palina rejects the use of that nickname because she genuinely doesn’t like it anymore, but as a way to push Irida away, and to reestablish their relationship as a purely business one as a way of coping with her failure to become leader. I think Irida is confused, and having trouble coming to terms with the fact that things have changed between them after becoming leader, and she’s stressed and just wants her big sister.

I also keep thinking about how much this differs from Adaman’s relationship with his older sister figure, and of how opposite these two’s relationship is compared to Irida and Palina’s.

Mai (as seen in this offical art) happily teaches Adaman to play the flute (despite him being absolutely awful at it - another direct opposite of Irida), and throughout the story happily performs tasks for him, and advising him without question. This contrasts Irida and Palina’s relationship where Palina is the one less talented with the flute, and who pushes back against Irida’s requests (growlithe), and who sees any requests for guidance as a personal failure as leader.

I could keep talking, and there’s so so much more to the relationship, and feud between these two, but I really think the biggest conflict between them isn’t the direction, or lack of experience of Irida’s leadership, but the fact that Irida is leader and Palina is not. Another important factor I didn’t even touch on was Palina and Iscan’s relationship, one forced to be kept secret due to the two Clans feud, and how Irida’s position as leader of that Clan may further complicate their relationship

The saddest part of all of this to me however is it’s kind of implied that Irida had no great ambition of becoming leader, and it can be interpreted that she may have only competed to be leader because Palina was doing it, or because the two share a love for their people that may have been encouraged by Palina in Irida in the first place

Despite Palina’s concerns about Irida’s leadership, Irida is is nothing but loyal and defensive of Palina. Even with Palina’s behaviour and her reputation as warden plummeting due to refusing to train Growlithe, and no matter what people may say about her, Irida only ever speaks highly, lovingly and respectfully of her, even when Palina doesn’t extend the same grace

Despite their feud (which feels mostly one sided to me) their relationship started from a genuine place of friendship, so I truly would like to believe that the two of them could work through their issues and one day become friends, sisters, again.

Sorry for my own wall of text but my respect for Irida incurable and I have so so many thoughts about the girl ;.;

[troquantary]

Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

[calltomuster]

(Even More) Star Wars Fic Recs

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list]

Hello everyone, happy Monday! I've been reading some fantastic fics recently and wanted to share them with you. May 4th was an absolutely glorious day to be a Star Wars fanfic reader, but the downside to having so many great stories posted on way day is that it's super easy to miss some, so I tried to highlight some here, as well as the usual random assortment.

Alternating Current by @jessepinwheel (gen, WIP, 1/3 chapters, 5.7k words) I am subscribed to @jessepinwheel's AO3 account, that's how much I love all of their writing, and this is just their latest masterpiece. The premise is that after Naboo, Obi-Wan starts experiencing some strange things, almost as if there's someone else in his body. But it doesn't feel like a foreign presence in his mind... And, well, the presence calls themselves Ben. I'm so, so intrigued to see what happens next in this story.

See, I'm the Living Icarus by @crispyjenkins (Rex/Obi-Wan, WIP, 2/6 chapters, 7.0k words) Role-reversal with Obi-Wan as Anakin's Padawan post-Melida/Daan fighting in the Clone Wars alongside Rex. Yeah, that's what I thought -- you're hooked, right? I was too. And then I read the first two chapters and wowwwww, just got even more obsessed. It's all just *chef's kiss*. Cannot wait to read more.

Off Duty by thosenearandfarwars (Obi-Wan/Cody, one-shot, 4.4k words) A post-ROTS world in which the Jedi were not destroyed, the clones are given reparations, and Obi-Wan throws his whole self into reforming the Jedi Order. It's from Cody's POV as he tries to stop his (former?) General from running himself into the ground. Featuring Jedi culture, positive change, some fun namedrops (Chirrut?!), and CODYWAN! Highly recommend this fic.

Starting Over by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (Obi-Wan/Cody, one-shot, 3.8k words) Speaking of amazing ideal post-ROTS AUs with Codywan, here's another! This one is described in the tags as being soft and domestic, and it totally is. Cody + plants + Obi-Wan = delight. Such a pleasure to read. Makes you feel all cozy inside.

Finders Keepers by SpaceWall (Obi-Wan/Cody + a ton of background ships, 2/2 chapters, 8.4k words) This fic is a soulmate AU that follows the premise that everything you lose, your soulmate ends up finding. It really does an excellent job of exploring this fascinating premise, and using it in ways I wouldn't have thought of. Like, something happens with Anakin that is just so beautiful yet haunting, I just... Ah! The main ship here is Codywan, but there are so many great background ships like Aayla and Bly or Anakin and Padmé, and some that are super interesting, like Satine and Rex, or Fox and Bail and Breha Organa. Fascinating stuff!

Benediction by @misskirby (gen, one-shot, 3.3k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Each new fic by @misskirby destroys me, and this one is no different except it's destroying me with HAPPY THINGS and POSITIVE EMOTIONS for once. My heart hurts just thinking about it, not because it makes me sad, but just in a... ahhh I don't know, the emotions, okay?! Obi-Wan is watching the twins with Anakin in a ROTS-didn't-happen AU and they actually TALK? With their words? And express positive feelings towards each other without being put in horrible situations? Like I said, AU 😂. This is so, so good. (This fic was not posted on May 4th, but @misskirby did post Stride for Stride on that day, which is an excellent fic about Obi-Wan and Anakin sparring for Ahsoka that you all also must read.)

still much that is fair by RaineyDay (gen, 8/8 chapters, 21.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Massive trigger warning right off the bat for this one, because it starts off with Padawan Obi-Wan trying to commit suicide by throwing himself off of the Temple roof, except instead of dying, he ends up getting caught by -- Anakin?! Somehow he ends up in the future to find out that he's loved, and a good Jedi. Back in his own timeline, Qui-Gon thinks his Padawan has just succeeded in killing himself, and is distraught and has to reckon with their relationship. Don't worry, it has a happy ending! Give Obi-Wan a hug 2k21!

trouble with the curve by jimmytiberius (Cody/Obi-Wan, one-shot, 2.4k words) Modern day baseball AU! Cody is the analytics guy whose job it is to watch Kenobi and how people hit off of him, and Rex is Obi-Wan's normal bullpen catcher. Problem is, Rex is a little hungover, so Cody has to secretly take his brother's place and hope no one notices. Sparks fly!! You guys, this fic is awesome. You don't need to know anything about baseball to read it, though if you do it adds another delightful dimension. Highly recommend! I smile just thinking about this fic!

Lasting Marks by kyitsya (gen, 10/10 chapters, 25.8k words, Obi-Wan & Rex) I reread this fic the other day and it was just as emotionally devastating the second or third time around. It follows Obi-Wan and Rex in the Zygerria arc, except they're trapped in the mines for weeks and things really take a toll. Obi-Wan and Rex's relationship is not one that's explored much in canon, so it's really cool to see a bond form here. I also really like the later subplot with Ahsoka.

Got Me in a Tricky Situation by @dharmaavocado (pre Rex/Obi-Wan, one-shot, 5.2k words) Rex and Obi-Wan are trapped together underneath a collapsed building and they have to literally and metaphorically hold onto each other for support. I absolutely love the descriptions in this one, they're killer (almost literally haha). Some great good ol' fashioned whump. Love it!

A Long Way Down by @kckenobi (gen, one-shot, 3.8k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) @kckenobi writes truly wonderful fics, but I gotta say I think this is my favorite. Obi-Wan and Anakin are trying to escape Separatists by climbing up a cliff face, but Obi-Wan's injured and he's really struggling to hold on... Oh, everything about this is perfect: the characterizations, the descriptions, the dialogue, everything! I reread this one all the time.

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

[thanks-mike-stamford]

Fics that inspire my writing - Part I

This is Part I. The other parts will be linked here as they are posted: Part II | Part III

When people ask "What's your favourite fic?" I can't truly give an answer. It depends on my mood! How can I choose only one? Sometimes you want to reread that one fic for emotional comfort, sometimes you want that other one for the hots, sometimes you want to suffer a bit with the characters and have the relief of the happy ending, and sometimes you love a fic so so so much, but it hurts and you don't pick it up again ever. There's no way I can choose a favourite.

So this is just a disclaimer that this list is not really about favourites.

This list is about writing.

I'm not as prolific as a writer than I am as a reader. I try to do my best, of course. The best way to learn a lot about writing, though? I have to say it's reading. I can attribute most of my vocabulary (in all languages I know) to reading. When talking about writing fiction, it's more than vocabulary, though: narrative, prose, dialogues, plot, characters, themes... It's a lot happening.

These fics I'm going to mention are the ones that I read and think yo myself: oooh, I wish I could write like that. So I use them to study! Perhaps I could try this type of narrative? Or I could build my characters to be complex in this way? Perhaps I could phrase things in a less mechanical way, like this author does?

I'm drafting a lot of stuff recently and in these new works I'm trying to improve the way I write. I'm a quick reader but slow writer, but I hope my future works can show I learned from these stories below.

So, here we go, 10 Fics That Inspire My Writing, in no particular order. This list is not exhaustive either, it was horrible to choose just 10.

Part I

Limping forward series by bendingsignpost

I absolutely love this series, which is a main fic from John's POV and a short prequel from Sherlock's POV, supposed be read after the main story. I'll refer to the main story from now on.

This fic is dialogue-heavy. The moments of description are usually very close to the POV, and while it's used to indicate actions, the main purpose is always to show what John is feeling by how he interacts with whatever and whoever is around him. Sometimes we are left with dialogues that are not explicit. The characters know exactly what they mean, by the described reactions, but the reader is left to wonder - or most importantly, to actually think about what they mean given the context. The fic feels almost like an intelectual exercise in which we practice how to read people's feelings. The climax of the fic doesn't come from a misunderstanding that can be fixed with a conversation, for example. It comes from an emotional misunderstanding, and it's brutal, because there's no way it couldn't happen. Both John, Sherlock, and the reader need to understand the meanings behind the actions - if you have a bias or trauma, it can be hard. Sherlock's deduction at the climax scene comes from an emotional perspective - he deduces how John felt, and that would finally explain John's actions, which weren't clear for him. Just like Sherlock says in the story - it's magnificent.

These two aspects - dialogue with implicit meaning and description with a purpose - are aspects I lack in my own writing. I struggle immensely with dialogue, and my descriptions are usually "Character A is here or there, talking to B or C, and they're thinking X or Y". I look up to how this fic works in trying to get better, and I did try to incorporate those "invisible conversations" into my works.

The Illusion of Control series by starrysummernights

Uuuh, omegaverse! Not everyone's cup of tea. I love omegaverse though, for two reasons: you can create completely different world dynamics and sex/gender dynamics, and play with it.

This series needed to be a series. Every part is important. We have alternating POVs of John and Sherlock. If you read the series as a WIP, as it was posted, you could have been under the impression that it was strictly porny. But it helps a ton to read it following the chronology of the story (the prequels and sequels to the original one were attributed accordingly). Because the trick of this series is John's character arc. We are immediately presented with John's life story since childhood until he starts a relationship with Sherlock. He has endured great emotional trauma, but at first he doesn't even recognise he has been traumatised. Lifelong issues build up and eventually will spill over. It's not quick to deal with it, that's why it needs a full series. His relationship with Sherlock deepens, he needs to make some important choices, he faces great struggles. And step by step, we follow John's journey. It's absolutely brilliant to get there. It hurts, but it hurts good. And it's nobody's fault, at the end. He's not reduced to his issues, he's an entire complex person, but we are always aware how said issues played an important role in shaping this character.

Writing such a long story, posting it out of chronological order, and not losing sight of the character arc is what makes this fic stand out. One of my published fics specifically took great inspiration in this one while building a character arc for John.

Trying to Find The In-Between by NoStraightLine

Later on this was re-posted as a multi chapter fic, but I originally read it as a series when it was a WIP, and personally I think it works better this way.

This amazing work taught me a lot about causes and consequences. I think the entire series can be grouped in three parts. First part is the beginning of their relationship. They are learning about each other, playing piece by piece like a puzzle. Then second part is around Reichenbach Fall, they separate and emotional fuckery ensues, up until Sherlock comes back, the pinnacle of angst. Third and last part is them relearning each other from scratch. The relationship needs to be completely different - and they don't even know if they will get together after all, if it will ever work again. And here's the main point: it's not a single decision that warrants consequences. They had a super intense relationship at first - but if you go too high, the fall is worse. Everything is borderline unhealthy, but it could easily be attributed to love. The author doesn't shy away from showing us it's a bit of both: big love can be a bit unhealthy. To put up boundaries between them so they both keep sane you also need to limit how you treat each other, and what you expect from each other.

This fic made me think I need to estimate the consequences of how I build up characters' interactions. The reactions need to be accordingly to that measure. In one fic I tried to play with this intensity ended up being borderline unhealthy. Not something you'd want in real life, of course, but in fiction... anything is possible.

This is the end of Part I. Stay tuned for Parts II and III!

[amarimaryllis]

I Do Not Think I Would (Bokuto x Reader)

Pairing: Bokuto/Reader

Prompt/Summary: The rational side of you tells you to leave, but for Bokuto Koutarou, you choose to stay. Alternatively, Bokuto Koutarou’s fangirls are ruthless.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Haikyuu Timeskip Spoilers

Note: I used she/her pronouns for the reader, Bold Italicized sentences are excerpts from the poem “Love is Not All” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Warnings: Mild Swearing, Mentions of self-hate, Mentions of insecurity, Bokuto has toxic fans

Part of A Sensitivity to Ephemera

You met Bokuto Koutarou in your 3rd year at Fukurodani, but you had known of his existence for longer. It was hard to not know of Bokuto Koutarou if you studied in Fukurodani. Hell, it was hard to not know of him if you studied in Tokyo in general. Aside from the fact that he was the embodiment of solar energy, Bokuto Koutarou also had a ton of admirers.

Fangirls

Fanboys.

And everything in between and beyond.

However, the first time you ever interacted with him was in Honda-sensei’s room. It was quick, a brief encounter that promised longer ones. Bokuto’s grades had been slipping, and you were his assigned tutor.

“Bokuto-san, this is L/N-san from Class 6.” Honda-sensei introduces you two briefly. “She’ll be tutoring you until your grades are back to… Satisfactory. I trust you to not give her a hard time.”

“Nice to meet you, L/N-san!” Bokuto bows briefly, the grin plastered on his face, unfading. However, there’s a sense of urgency in his stance, vibrating, itching to run off. Probably because he had volleyball training, and nothing in this world could keep Bokuto Koutarou from his beloved sport.

You didn’t know why, but your heart was beating a little bit faster than normal.

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink

Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;

After a few weeks of tutoring, Bokuto’s grades were slowly getting better. It wasn’t “satisfactory” yet, according to Honda-sensei, but you guys were getting there. As a celebration, right after volleyball practice, Bokuto drags you to the closest cafe and tells you to choose anything you want because it was “on him” as he enthusiastically stated.

“Bokuto-san, you didn’t have to.” You mumble bashfully as Bokuto sets a tray down and seats across from you.

“Don’t worry about it!” Bokuto grins as he slides the food over to you. “It’s the least I can do since you’ve been such a great tutor.”

A small smile makes its way to your face. “I guess I’ll take it then. Thank you for the food!”

As you eat, you can see Bokuto’s eyes continuously flitting back and forth between a spot on your face and away from it. He looked hesitant, but your sudden speaking urges him to reply.

“Is there anything on my face?” You furrow your brows, raising a hand to wipe at your cheek.

“Ah yeah, wait, not there.” Bokuto reaches over the table, a large hand cupping your cheek before he presses his thumb to the corner of your mouth and swipes to remove whatever it was on your face. “You had sauce on your face.”

Fire and ice could co-exist at once, you concluded. Because if it didn’t, then you would like to present yourself as evidence. You were frozen, but inside you, there was an inferno of different emotions swirling, sparked by a single touch on your skin.

That night, after Bokuto had walked you home and you had settled in for the night, you dreamt of black and white streaks paired with the brightest golden eyes. You let yourself dream. You knew that this was the closest you could get to him. The real world wasn’t as kind to you after all.

While you slept soundly, Bokuto walked home. It was raining, but it didn’t matter to him because as the rain drops onto his skin, he wished that it was your touch that fell upon him instead. And for a second as he imagines, it almost felt like it was.

And though he so desperately wished for it as he lied in bed, slumber never came. Instead, in its place, were a hundred different stories, a hundred different futures, a hundred different lifetimes, and they all ended with the sight of a bashful smile, and the prettiest eyes.

Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,

Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;

You gripped at your skirt tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape your eyes. Fear gripped your chest as you watched Bokuto’s sleeping figure from your place on the chair beside the bed. There had been a small accident during Fukurodani’s practice match, a small collision, but it was enough to send him to the infirmary and you running after him.

It was stupid, you think to yourself. You had rushed to the clinic the moment your break started, and by the time you reached the room, you were a mess. The nurse only gave you a cheeky smile before she patted your back and said, “Don’t worry about your boyfriend. It’s a minor injury and it was probably just an ant bite for someone like him.”

Ant bites didn’t usually require sleep for recovery.

Also, he wasn’t your boyfriend, but you’d be the biggest liar on earth if you said that you didn’t want him to be. You were just his tutor. Sure you’d been tutoring him for a long time, and that was enough to form a friendship of sorts, but that was all you’ll ever be: a friend. So why were you acting like you were something more? Friends get concerned, they’ll drop by, check on you, go off once they realize it’s minor and you’re in good hands, and then wait for you to recover. They don’t stay, fussing, practically crying, and worrying over something so small.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that the sudden placement of a heavy palm on your head startles you.

Bokuto chuckles as he takes in your disheveled state. Your eyes are damp, your hair is slightly messed up, and your skirt is still tight in your grip, but even then, he still couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the way you looked. “Hey hey hey, did I make you worry that much?”

You can’t help it. He’s recovering, you know that, but you couldn’t stop yourself from lunging at him and enveloping him in a hug. “I hate you so much. Promise me you’ll never make me worry like that ever again.”

Bokuto chuckles and you could feel the vibrations since you two were practically chest-to-chest. “If making you worry means you’ll hug me like this, then I don’t think I can make any promises.”

“Bokuto-san…” You attempt to pull away, but find yourself unable.

Sturdy arms wrap around your waist, and your frozen figure is pulled tighter against Bokuto’s body as he engulfs you with his larger frame. “Do you like me, Y/N-chan?”

You freeze.

Oh hell no.

Out of all the conversations in this world, this one was the one you did not want to have, especially not when you were emotionally vulnerable. You didn’t know if you had enough control over yourself to give the proper answers.

“What? No! I mean yes? You’re my friend, of course I like you.” Your fight or flight response to this conversation seems to have given you ample strength to pull away. You attempt to stand straight and face this problem head on, but your feet are pointing you towards the exit.

Ready to run. From this conversation. From your feelings. From rejection.

Bokuto raises a brow, a teasing grin on his face. “Oh, really?”

Contrary to popular belief (see: Honda-sensei), Bokuto Koutarou was not stupid. Very far from it. While he’s not academically gifted, he’s definitely smart on the people side of things.

You were an open book, and Bokuto was taking his time rereading every page.

“I…” You’re unable to answer, unable to find the words that would make the impending rejection hurt less.

“Well, if it helps—“ Bokuto sits up and sets his feet on the ground, lightly grabbing you to make you stand between his legs. “—I like you a lot.”

Your heart stops. Your world stops. Everything just stops. You’re gaping at Bokuto, mouth closing and opening as you try to find the proper words. You want to reply, eloquently, confidently, to save what’s left of your dignity, but you can only blink back at him.

You weren’t expecting this. Bokuto wasn’t expecting this.

A wave of uncertainty flashes through Bokuto’s eyes, and for a second, he wonders if he misread the situation. “Hey, it’s ok if you don’t feel the same—“

“Wait, no! That’s—“ You take in a deep breath, attempting to calm your racing heart as you try to find your next words. For someone who usually kept a level head, you sure weren’t acting like it. “That’s not it at all. I just… Are you sure?”

Bokuto is confused. He could understand the words individually. He could understand the sentence too, but he couldn’t understand its relevance in this context. What did you mean by ‘are you sure?’. Would he tell you if he wasn’t? Why wouldn’t anyone be sure about you? I mean, it’s you.

“Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” Bokuto grabs your hand, and he laces his fingers through yours.

You don’t answer as you attempt to arrange your whirlwind of insecurity into one coherent sentence that could sum it all up. You didn’t want to burden him with an entire monologue of self-deprecation, but you couldn’t find a way to express the years of insecurity into one sentence that could do that feeling justice.

Bokuto sees this, and his heart breaks for a second. He was familiar with it. He knew those feelings all too well.

Uncertainty.

Doubt.

Self-Hatred.

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto blurts out, and as he watches you get flustered, he thinks that this is a much better look on you compared to the one you were previously wearing.

You don’t speak. You just nod.

With that, Bokuto grabs you by the waist and reaches up to press his lips against yours.

It was Bokuto who broke the kiss, breathless as he pressed his forehead to yours. It was almost as if you had taken his breath away to breathe a new life into him with a simple kiss. You can feel his warm breath against your lips, his calloused hands gripping at your waist, and at the same time, you feel nothing. Maybe this is what it felt like to know of everything and nothing all at once. Hyperaware of every feeling, every part of your body that was connected to his, but at the same time you felt weightless, floating on a plane that didn’t seem to exist on earth.

“Can I do that again?” Bokut asks with a grin.

You don’t answer, simply grabbing at his collar and smashing your lips against his.

That was how your love story with Bokuto Koutarou started.

And you wish it ended there.

It well may be that in a difficult hour,

Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,

Bokuto’s fans were ruthless.

Bokuto’s fans are ruthless.

The toxic fangirls? Even more so.

Not all of them are terrible to you, some are kind, but there are enough bad apples that you start wanting to run away the moment you see the tree. His fangirls during highschool only ever went as far as gossipping and making snide remarks, but now that you were older and Bokuto was part of the MSBY Black Jackals, they had gotten worse.

Facebook? You don’t spend time there anyway.

Instagram? You’ve always avoided that place.

Twitter? Ah, good luck.

People are ruthless when they hide behind a screen and a fake name. Anonymity has a way of sparking bravery in even the most sheltered souls. There wasn’t a single tweet on your account that had no comment telling you how you’re not good enough, how Bokuto probably only stayed out of pity, how he’d probably break up with you soon, how they could make him happier than someone like you ever could.

Bokuto doesn’t know. He doesn’t have to know. You don’t want to tell him.

You’re never going to tell him.

It’s pathetic, you think to yourself. You’re afraid that if Bokuto saw these comments, the rose-colored glasses he wore would shatter. You were afraid that these tweets would tip him off the edge and plunge him into the sea of realization. The realization that he could do so much better than someone like you.

You were tired. So tired that you just want to give in to the comments and leave. It’s logical, after all. Bokuto would find someone much better than you. He’d go off, marry a girl deserving of him, and she’ll give him a family, a future, and a life worthy of someone like him. And you? You’d be free. Alone, heart destroyed beyond repair, but free. You could move on, move away, move as far as you could: out of sight, out of mind. It was so easy.

Or nagged by want past resolution’s power,

But you couldn’t.

The only thing you could do was stare at the tweets that dissected each and every single one of your insecurities and laid it bare, waved it around freely for the world to see and judge. You could only let the tears fall as the laptop screen glared back at your face. Everything is numb and you don’t feel like yourself as you scroll through every single comment and find yourself agreeing with each and every single one.

Sobs wrack throughout your body as it all becomes too much.

You’re too weak to stay, too weak to leave. So where do you go? Where the hell are you supposed to place yourself in this world when it feels like everything is going against you? Why was the world doing this to you? Why did it have to be you? You weren’t strong enough for this. You weren’t good enough for this, you never were, never are, and never will be--

“Love?”

You immediately slam the laptop shut and throw the covers over your body as if you had been there the whole time instead of sitting at the edge of the bed and crying over comments.

“Hey…” The side of the bed sinks. “Bad day?”

The fucking worst. You thought to yourself, but you only shook your head before burying your head deeper into the covers of your shared bed.

“Don’t wanna talk about it?” You can hear the worry in Bokuto’s voice as he places his hand on your waist over the blanket, rubbing up and down to soothe you.

Some part of you finds the courage to speak, and the words tumble out of your mouth faster than your brain can process them. “Why are you still with me?”

“Because I love you.” Bokuto doesn’t hesitate as he looks at your still-covered figure.

“What if you stop?” You mumble, but it was loud enough for Bokuto to hear,

“Not possible.” Bokuto gently pries the blankets away from you, uncovering your form that was curled up into a fetal position.

“But— Just—“ You turn the other way, unable to look at him. “What if you do?”

“Like I said—” You can feel the mattress behind you dip lower, sturdy arms moving to wrap around your waist as Bokuto nuzzles his face into your nape. “—not possible.”

With that, the tears start flowing once more.

You bury your face into the pillow, not wanting to show Bokuto because you knew that the sight of you crying wasn’t something he liked. He hated seeing you in distress, and he hated that the only thing he could do was talk you through it and comfort you.

“Hey hey hey…” Bokuto pulls away and makes you sit up straight before he sits against the headboard and pulls you to sob into his chest. “Where’s this coming from? What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s wrong.” You spat angrily, your grip on his shirt tightening. Anger at yourself, anger at the universe, all summed up in a single sentence. “Nothing ever goes right anymore, and I’m just—“

Your speaking is interrupted as another wave of sobs. “I’m so tired.”

You can feel Bokuto freeze, his hand that was rubbing your back stopping as he takes in your words. “Of what?”

“Everything.” You murmur, your grip on Bokuto’s shirt loosening as you press your forehead against his neck. “Just everything.”

“Does that include me?” You can hear Bokuto’s voice waver as his grip around you gets weaker. “Are you… Are you breaking up with me?”

You’re silent for a while. Was this it? Was the universe making the choice for you?

Whatever it was, you take it.

You pull away and look down, unable to stare into Bokuto’s eyes. You didn’t know if you could pull through if you could see the look on his face as you say your next words. “If it means that it will all stop, then maybe I should.”

Bokuto’s heart shatters, and his world follows in its footsteps. He can feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He knew you had been acting off the past few days, but he gave you some space so that you could sort it out until you were ready to finally approach him. But this? He wasn’t prepared for this.

“Why?” There’s a painful tug at your chest as you hear Bokuto speak in such a broken tone. “Did I do something wrong?”

“It’s not you. It’s me.” You cringe inwardly at your statement. Of all the things you could’ve said, you just had to say the most overused line in all of break-up history. “Bokuto, you—“

“It’s Kou.” You can hear Bokuto’s voice crack at the end. “It’s not Bokuto to you, Y/N. It’s Kou. Whatever it is just tell me, please I can fix it—“

“I’m the problem, okay?!” You couldn’t stop yourself from raising your tone, standing up from the bed to distance yourself from Bokuto. “I’m not good enough for you. I don’t deserve you. They’re right when they say that you could do so much better than me—“

You’re cut off as a sob pulls itself from your chest. Your chest is tight, your head is throbbing. Your legs are shaky and you couldn’t stop yourself from falling to your knees as you continue to cry. “I-I just… I know I don’t, but I-I’m so tired of b-being constantly r-reminded that I’m never g-going to be enough.”

“Y/N, none of that is true. Who told you that?” Bokuto’s tone gives away the pain he was feeling, but there was a hint of anger underneath it all.

You don’t answer, shaking your head, continuing to sob as Bokuto moves from the bed to kneel in front of you.

“Love, who told you that?” Bokuto places a comforting hand on your thigh as his other hand lightly grabs you by the chin to make you look at him.

“Everyone.” You wondered how pathetic you looked in his eyes right now. “Not a single day passes by where I’m not reminded by your fans. It’s stupid to keep listening to them, but they’re right—“

Bokuto cuts you off with a brief kiss, just enough to shut you up to give him a chance to speak as he moves to cup your cheek in his palm. “No, they’re not. They never will be.”

You don’t reply. You don’t argue, but you don’t agree either.

“Don’t break up with me, please.” Bokuto cups your face with both of his hands, occasionally brushing his thumb over your cheek as he presses his forehead against yours. “You mean the world to me. You’re absolutely perfect the way you are, and I know you don't believe that.”

You sob at that, and Bokuto is quick to press a kiss against your forehead and pull you into his chest. “If I have to spend my entire life reminding you of that then I will.”

I might be driven to sell your love for peace,

Or trade the memory of this night for food.

Bokuto hovers over you, his arms on either side of your holding him up as he looks at you with the most lovestruck look you’ve ever seen on someone.

“You’re perfect.” Bokuto whispers against your lips before he presses a searing kiss against your lips. “Absolutely perfect.”

Bokuto presses his weight against yours, pulling your bodies closer to each other as he continues to kiss you breathless. You wrap your arms around his neck, an attempt to blur the boundaries of skin, muscle, and bone that separate your soul and his. He pulls you closer against him, his fingers digging deeper into the flesh of your hips as he trails his kisses down your neck and every expanse of skin that was laid bare for him.

“I love you so much.” Bokuto whispers repeatedly against your skin between every kiss he puts on you. “So much.”

As you laid beside Bokuto, his arms wrapped around your waist and your face nuzzling into his bare chest, the thoughts of ever leaving slowly become more distant and fade away into oblivion. His chest rises and falls, and you find your breathing slowly matching his as you observe his sleeping face, peaceful, unbothered by all the troubles of the world beyond your bedroom.

You smile to yourself. All rational thought tells you to leave, but for Bokuto Koutarou...

It well may be. I do not think I would.

A/N: That’s two parts of the collection down, and three more to go! This one was supposed to be the lightest out of the five, but my finger slipped so... Whoops? HAHAHAGDHDHSJHS Anyway, I hope you guys like this one! 💖

[amethystpath-writes]

A Writing tip, covering various writing topics:

(This post got me thinking and I needed to make a post:)

**

Writing...LOVE:

Love is an emotion so few can describe. It’s a deep, in-the-gut feeling that most can’t even make sense of themselves. My boyfriend says often that he hears music, whereas I tend to say it’s a blanket- a constantly warm blanket of safety and knowingness. There’s no right or wrong way to describe the term ‘love’ as it’s a different experience for everyone. Some people feel a pit in their stomach.

Many of you have probably seen those posts that go something like this: “100 ways of saying ‘I Love You’ without saying ‘I Love You’” Sound familiar? Well, it’s true.

Holding hands is a form of love. Hugging. Kissing. Those actions say, ‘I want to be as close to you as I can be.’

Smiling at someone is a form of love. Spiteful people don’t smile at strangers as they pass them on the street, right? Now, that’s a bit more platonic, but it still stands for romance, too.

Asking someone how their day went is a form of love.

I could go on and on. The point is that... (continued in next part)

**

Writing...ANYTHING:

The point is that writing- not just love, but anything- is about observing.

I started writing by trying to write anything and everything, even though I didn’t know how to do it. Once I had a story, I reread it and said, “Oh wow. That needs work. Well, that sounds cheesier than I meant for it to. Why does that action scene sound so terrible? There’s not enough detail in this part- that’s because I don’t know anything about it.”

Writing is observing.

I’ll say it again, in all caps this time.

WRITING IS OBSERVING.

Dip your hand in everything so that you can pick out where to start.

(For example) The first book I ever wrote was an absolute whirlwind of Hell. It had demons and angels, gargoyles and regular ole humans, unrefined magic and a ton of very fast-flying emotions. I cannot even begin to describe how awful the vast majority of it was, BUT...I had this one totally oddball character who brought light to the protagonist- and the whole plot. Her name was Raina and she was just this bubbly ball of magnificence. She was a minor character but I enjoyed every single scene with her. This brings me to my next point...

**

Writing...HUMOUR:

Humour. I was great at writing humour, so I built on it. When I was in school with friends, I listened to the timing of jokes when friends told them. I paid attention to the humour that appealed to everyone versus the humour that only applied to a select few. I watched reality tv shows. I already wrote it well, but by observing everything around me, I became GREAT at it.

Having said that, and going back to something I said before, everyone has a different sense of humour. You need to explore all of them at some point.

Tumblr is a world of its own, a place where writers often write prompts on the daily. In that case, don’t cram all the humour in the world into one piece. Pick a sense of humour, and use it.

Or, if the joke is that one character tried to crack a joke and failed, well, that’s great! Do that- in prompts or stories. Not every character is going to get or like the same jokes, alright? That doesn’t mean they won’t get along. My entire friend group has a a side of their humour that I just...cannot make myself laugh at, even as an act. But they’re my best friends and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

At the same time, some characters do share the same sense of humour. In that case, you get to write- wait for it...DETAILS!!! Writing humour involves writing an intense amount of wordless joy. Talk about the face, about the expressions and tightness of the muscles. The muscles are going to be tense everywhere.

Face/nose scrunched.

Eyebrows pinched.

Mouth open in silent laughter.

Fists.

Overly opened palms.

Crunched in a ball/ knees to their chest.

Accidentally let out a fart.

Stuff like that^

You know how sometimes a friend will be laughing so hard that they go, “If I don’t have abs by the end of this...” and they don’t even have the capacity, or breath, to come up with a threat? Laughing HURTS, but it’s the best kind of hurt.

Remind people what laughter is, make them feel the same joy as your characters undoubtedly are.

[emometalhead]

An open letter

1 year ago today, my life changed. I began reading My Appetite for Destruction: Sex & Drugs & Guns N' Roses by Steven Adler. I had been in the GN'R fandom about 2 months when I decided to order the book. By time I got it about 3 weeks later, I had already kind of lost interest in the fandom. I had made a couple new mutuals, but wasn't committed to anything. Then I read the book.

If you know me well enough, you know my least favorite decade has always been the 80s, and I hate non-fiction. The only reason I even bought Steven's book was that I figured I should get the rest of the band's books if I was getting Slash's. I even read Slash's book first because I had more interest in him. I decided to read Steven's book second because I assumed it would be sad, and that I'd want to have another book ready to read after.

I was aware of who Steven was. I had been in the fandom about 3 months by time I read the book, and I had seen him on The Top Ten Revealed show. I had no interest in Steven from the show. I knew from my dad that he had suffered health consequences from past drug use, and never bothered to look into him more until becoming immersed in the GN'R fandom via my friends, Rylie and Renae.

After joining the fandom, I did have interest in Steven. I read through each post about him that showed up on my dash and Googled a couple things. My loyalties easily remained with Slash and Axl. The book changed all of that.

If you know anything about my reading habits, it's that I'm efficient. I can finish a 400 page novel in less than 4 hours, including breaks to eat, pee, talk, etc.. Steven's book took me an entire day to finish. It was so hard for me to read certain parts, and then I kept having the urge to reread. I felt so attached to this man. I cried so much reading the book. If anyone remembers what my blog was like around this time and for like 5 months after, I was posting about crying over Steven basically daily. I still do by the way. I just don't announce it.

For 8 months now, I've posted at least one photo of Steven daily. I reorganized my gallery to accommodate all of my photos, and now have organized photos for bands members. I even have specific galleries for 44 years of Steven's life, because at some point I became damn determined to make a visual timeline. I know I sound obsessive, but that's because I am. This is your friendly reminder I am in fact mentally ill, and that I can become very attached to things.

On that note, I can see a lot of my own ways of processing and coping in Steven. I've been self destructive. It's still a daily struggle not to self sabotage. I've struggled with addiction, though not even comparable to what he went through. I use him to relate, and as a constant reminder that things can always get better.

There aren't a ton of people that make me instantly feel better when I see, but Steven is one of them. I am so proud of him. I don't know him personally, but he's had a big impact on my life. I'm very grateful. I truly do not believe I would've stayed in the fandom had I not latched into Steven so intensely. I've made so many amazing friends that I do not want to live without, and I attribute that to Steven.

I'm not going to pretend it's been a great year for me. I've struggled a lot, but it has been so helpful to have an additional fandom of support to rely on, and a person to have as emotional support. Thank you Steven Adler. He may not know I exist, but I appreciate all he's done for me. Here's to another year of being a fan. 🖤

[3wisellamas]

OK AU headcanons?

(Once again, there's a fic, and here's the headcanons I'm working off of. See if you can guess which ones I use...)

-Hero!Darrell's the only bodega employee besides Gar himself who puts a ton of effort into his work -- he's got both Hero!KO's drive to become a great hero someday, as well as Villain!Darrell's drive to make his boss (and bonus father-figure) proud of him.

-He's especially desperate to finally be recognized as Employee of the Month at Gar's. However, the universe just isn't on his side, his abysmal luck sabotaging him whenever the boss is looking or keeping Gar's attention elsewhere whenever Darrell actually manages to trash a Boxbot.

-He literally hasn't taken a single day off since he was first hired! Of course, this means he frequently comes in to work sick, which is never fun for his coworkers, or the customers.

-In contrast though? Shannon will do ANYTHING not to work. She uses sick/vacation days as fast as she receives them, and even has a nasty habit of skipping out on her shifts with Raymond, leaving all their work to Darrell (since he just can't say no!) It's debatable whether she even IS a hero sometimes.

-That said, though, she's arguably the friendliest of the three to any customers that dare to approach her counter (though not by much), and knows almost all of the plaza regulars by name. She even makes sure to catch up on all the latest gossip with them while she rings them up; the fact that it's a distraction from work is just a bonus!

-She's INCREDIBLY talented at roller skating, to the point where people wonder why she works at a convenience store instead of going pro. (Because then she'd have to put in effort, that's why.)

-Raymond legitimately plays every single sport offered at Lakewood High School, and even a few outside of it, but rarely ever shows up to practice, only using it as an excuse to get off work and go to the mall with Shannon. His coaches would all kick him off the team if he wasn't naturally talented, and one of the top players even without practice.

-Raymond is EXTREMELY squeamish when it comes to blood, his own or otherwise, and will straight-up pass out at the sight of it, which is a problem when Boxbot battles get more intense. (Note: this also applies to Villain!Raymond as well!)

-He has also been following Drupe's fashion blog for years, and is desperately trying to impress/befriend her, though she keeps mistaking his advances for romantic ones and rejects them. (They're not, though, his heart secretly belongs to R.A.D.I.C.L.E.S.)

-Shannon and Darrell both have robot feet. Shannon is okay with occasionally showing hers off. Darrell, though? NEVER.

-Shannon and Darrell are still siblings (you just can't separate them), and are Wilhamena's and Bernard's kids. Darrell often comes very close to spilling that their whole family are monsters (especially since it's much more obvious with him) and that Shannon's actually a witch, but she always shuts him up.

-Raymond is the adopted son of Ofrang and Theodosia, and is a new hire at the bodega, still kind of learning the ropes from the other two. His levitation beams are not natural, but Ofrang invented some way to artificially generate them, in order to bring his son more in tune with his parents' heritage!

-The heroes do have their secret wereanimal forms, which match that one scene from Thank You For Watching the Show -- Darrell = Hamster, Shannon = Cat, Ray = Lizard. Darrell is especially self-conscious about his, being much smaller than the others and needing to use extra means to appear human/cyclops, and refuses to go to any human meetups or acknowledge his condition in any way because of this.

-The others end up bribing him with sunflower seeds to go with them.

-K-0, EN1D, and R.A.D.I.C.L.E.S. are NOT Lord Boxman's children -- he decided to use slightly different control tactics for them instead, with a bigger emphasis on forced reprogramming rather than emotional manipulation. However, K-0 will often slip up and call him "Daddy" anyway, to both parties' extreme embarrassment.

-Also, ironically, K-0 is the OLDEST of the three this time, literally built right after the Mr Logic Incident, with EN1D and R.A.D. being newer, more advanced models.

-EN1D is obsessed with ninjas in exactly the same way that Villain!Darrell is obsessed with cowboys, and dresses up as one whenever she gets the chance. She's the robot who will most often wear disguises and use stealth to try and achieve her goals, and tends to give the Bodegamen the most trouble out of the three.

-Also, EN1D glitched in the past to have a HUGE crush on some random plaza customer who happened to be nearby (Red Action), but denies still having feelings for any heroes whatsoever (she's lying).

-There are B.I.G. R.A.D.s, piloted by regular R.A.D.s.

-Not even Lord Boxman knows what the acronym stands for. He originally scribbled R.A.D.I.C.L.E.S.' name out onto a napkin while dead tired (and also a little drunk) at 3AM, and accidentally spilled coffee all over it the next morning before he could reread it.

-Fink sees K-0 as her rival, and specifically targets and torments him whenever her Boss decides to visit Boxmore, and he retaliates by pranking her back and trying to get PV's attention instead, all of which gets cranked up to maximum once the Voxmore merger happens. Even sharing a room doesn't fully convince them on each other.

-K-0 sometimes glitches into a separate, angrier personality, with a LOT more firepower...

[codevassie]

Superpower TS Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

[**Do Not Ask Authors for Updates!]

[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

What You Can Stand by manyfandomsonelog

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary:  Virgil tried so, so hard to avoid becoming a supervillain. He really did. But when your superpower is literally manifesting a person's worst fears, it's a hard thing to avoid. Still, he really, really tried. Even when his own parents feared him. Even when the whole school feared him. Even when he hated himself and his Propensity so much that he wanted to give in. He might've succeeded, if he hadn't met him- Roman Reyes, AKA Roman Spectacular, AKA The Prince, AKA the worst thing that has ever happened to him (which is saying something).

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW: Psychological stuff, nightmares, bullying, physical harm, spiders, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, brief discussion of racism, self-hatred,  bomb, explosion, blood, injury, bad/abusive parenting, imprisonment, fire,  homophobia, pedophilia mention, discussion of child abuse, evidence of physical abuse, sexual innuendo, anxious thoughts, death, funeral, flashback, reference to sex, fairly aggressive arguing and yelling, public speaking, secondhand embarrassment

My thoughts: My quarantine savior!!! I started the fic like a week into quarantine, so I really mean that literally. The characterization is absolutely fantastic--I love seeing all of them interact. It’s so natural and fun and interesting. The plot is also just wonderful--one thing keeps happening after another and these guys just cannot seem to get a break. The pacing is awesome, and whether it’s a character or plot chapter, you just can’t look away. Log is such a fantastic writer and a wonderful person, so if you like awesome prinxiety, superpowers and secret identities, trust and betrayal, humor and angst, you really need to read this one! 

Rewind by ravenclawicecream 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: When a group of superheroes show up to kill him, it's just another Wednesday for Virgil Messana. After five years of being on the run, he's used to the idea people want him dead. That fact is just an unfortunate side effect of having the power to destroy everything you touch. What does surprise him, however, is when he finds himself agreeing to join those superheros and become part of the team. It's not long until Virgil learns that all the heroes have chapters of their lives they'd rather keep unpublished, along with events they'd rather not relive. And, as he spends more time with the team, he realizes that he may know certain members much better than he'd originally thought. Virgil longs for a moment to figure everything out but by then it's too late. He's already caught up in a bigger scheme; one where they no longer have the power to control their own destinies. With every movement monitored and every action proven to be calculated, the lines between allies and enemies blur, leaving Virgil caught in between. When the stakes are inevitably raised, the remaining heroes must do all they can to change the future of the world. But time has always been a cruel master, and sometimes the only answer is to rewind.

Relationships: Loceit, Logicality, Prinxiety, Remile

CW: Major Character Death, Murder

My thoughts: Gosh, I wish this one got more love. It’s probably the MCD tag, so understandable, but also take into consideration the time travel tag and perhaps give it a chance? I feel like this fic is setting up for so much, and I cannot wait to see how it all goes down. I have so many questions for this fic which is always a good sign (so many that I may have freaked the author out with my WALL of questions on chapter three don’t worry about it /j). Please. Read. This. 

Powerless by patentpending 

Status: Complete

Summary: “People like us,” Logan had once remarked to Virgil. “Are statistical anomalies.”(Almost) Everyone in the world has powers. As for those who don’t, well, they’re such a small part of the population - only 0.04% - why would anyone care about them?Ever since he realized what people mean when they call him Powerless, Virgil Sanders has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan. When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps. With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society. The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most Powerful (and infuriatingly charming) superhero: The Prince, who is hiding the fact that his gilded life isn’t as perfect as it may seem.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality, Roman/Female Fanon Character 

CW: Classism, Unreliable Narrator, Thinly Veiled Criticism of Society,  emetophobia, violence, gun mention,  implied suicide attempt, dub-con, mentions of blood, graphic depictions of a riot, non-graphic description of a wound, possessive and abusive behavior, kid being kicked out of the house by parent, kidnapping, kinda torture (?), body horror, gore, graphic descriptions of injuries, emotional abuse, police brutality, pain and injury, burning building, swearing, vomiting, murder, panic attack, dysphoria, misgendering, minor character death, major character death, self deprecating talk, mentions of suicide

My thoughts: Well, doing a TS superhero rec without Powerless is just treason. I don’t know--I’m trying to figure out a way to describe it and instead launching up to pace around the room with an instant replay of different scenes in my head. I mean, the grocery store chapter?!?! This stuff lives in my head rent free. The characterization, the banter, the tension, the motives--I can’t describe it y’all. Just, if you love yourselves (love yourselves, please <3) then just go read it. Or reread it. Do that for yourselves. 

Waterspout by Greenninjagal

Status: Complete

Summary: "Hail!” The boy says all smug smiles that Virgil immediately hates. “You’re Recluse aren’t you?”As if there was some other spider themed weirdo who clung to buildings in their free time.“No,” Virgil says, because he can. *** Virgil finds himself stuck on the side of a building in a rainstorm and is helped by an annoying-admittedly attractive-guy.

Relationships: Prinxiety

CW: Mild cursing, storms

My thoughts: This one is very cute. Virgil is a spiderman-like hero who went up a waterspout, and down comes some rain trying to wash him out. Roman comes to help, they banter a bit, and, maybe, there’s a little surprise at the end. I would not mind more of this AU. In fact, I would love it. But that should not discount how wonderfully made a oneshot it is either. The author wrote it perfectly for the length it is, presenting the charm of the characters, great plot and symbolism, and left me wanting more at the same time. Definitely go check this one out. 

Technically. It’s A Secret by supervillain 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: Virgil Storm, the adopted son of a reality TV star with telekinesis was born without a power. That's been a problem for him all his life. His only friend is Patton Vega, his only chance at romance the irritating Cros Corson--until he gets a job at a top-secret facility, playing babysitter to a bunch of kids with dangerous powers and even more dangerous minds. Kids who happen to be exactly his age.Yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake, especially when the enigmatic villain Believe (aka Roman Torres) takes a liking to Virgil. And even worse, when Virgil starts to more than like him back. Pull in some evil mad scientists, a plague created to decimate the world, a murderous villain, an obnoxious stalker, and the greatest Kinetic the world has ever known, and you're in for a hell of a ride.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW:  Anxiety attacks, arson, murder, minor character death, blood, spiders, being eaten alive, falling, death, sleeping, fighting, cop mention 

My thoughts: I’m behind on this one, and I wanted to catch up on it before I posted this rec list. Today is the last Friday of the year though, so I decided to just go ahead and do it. I love this fic a ton so far, and I can’t wait to read more. I can tell the author put a lot of thought into writing the world and characters, and that the plot is interesting and deliberate. There’s mysteries unfolding which intrigues me So Bad. It’s a super interesting one, so I’d say go read it!