#it was between Briony and trouble but in the end it had to be Briony no doubt about it

[marzely]

Saw this photo and couldn’t get it out of my head. The first person that came to mind was Briony like she would put her friends in a headlock if asked. So enjoy the gals just being gals drawing I had to get out of my head.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Which of the characters would be the best at matchmaking/setting the MC up with someone else? I feel like Trouble would be an awesome wingman 👀

Good question! Let me think...

From best to worst wingman:

Lavinet: she lives for matchmaking, and she's extremely good at it, both in pairing the people in question up and nudging them towards realizing their feelings, but also in being subtle about it! I think the only time she's ever failed in this regard was when she didn't realize that her lady-in-waiting Clara had a secret paramour (her now-fiance Pendric), but had Clara told her about it, she would have helped them along then too 😌 (not that they really needed it lol)

Briony: she's not always as subtle as Lavinet, but she can't be matched in her sheer enthusiasm for facilitating ✨ true love ✨ and her bubbly "oh, X and Y should go on patrol together! 👀" can be read as casual and natural enough that many people won't pick up on her intentions! Some people still do, but in the right circumstances (like if they already like each other), this can still be more of a help than a hindrance!

Red: I think he can really be an excellent wingman, but the interest in meddling in other peoples' affairs/relationships isn't normally there... he doesn't want to be held responsible if the couple doesn't end up being compatible or if things end badly, so he'd prefer to be left out of it 😅 But if he does get involved or takes an interest enough, he's really very good at it!

Trouble: I think he's only a good wingman when he doesn't know he's being a wingman... It's like, if you tell him, "Hey Trouble, go over to that random person and talk to them on my behalf, I'm interested in them 👀" he would be quite bad at it... or even if you tell him, "Trouble, I have a crush on Briony" I don't think he's the best person to engineer that matchup, partially because he's really bad at concealing his true thoughts and feelings and being deceptive, so he's going to make things quite obvious... but if you don't tell him about these things ahead of time, he is somehow amazing at inadvertently hyping you up to a person or casually throwing the two of you together that he's quite the matchmaking savant!

Shery: she is emotionally perceptive, #1 shipper in the Order (like she LIVES to ship, she LIVES to matchmake and squeal quietly when things are going well between the two of you), and subtle enough to be a great matchmaker if you want her to quietly orchestrate/engineer situations from behind the scenes... just DON'T ask her to go over and like woo someone for you by proxy, the way some wingpeople are expected to do! Other than that, though, she's quite successful, and can lie surprisingly well--at least enough to not to give away your secrets!

Chase: like Red, the talent and ability are there, but the interest isn't always... like he's always notice if two people are into each other or if they would be a good match, but he has surprisingly little interest in helping to facilitate this unless 1) he's specifically asked or 2) he's already good friends with both parties. Unlike Lavinet or Briony, he won't bestir himself to get involved in the case of two recruits, but he will if it's, like, MC and Trouble. And even if one of those conditions are met, he's so unpredictable that sometimes he can have incredible success rates, or he can use the knowledge for Evil, like deliberately pairing you in awkward situations or calling you out in front of your crush just to make you squirm because he's a troll and is greatly amused by doing things like asking "who do you think is the best-looking person in this room, MC?" (knowing full well that they're trying to hide a crush on so-and-so) or full-on inventing situations to make drive one of the crushes into such a jealous fit that they HAVE to act, or daring them to kiss each other while playing an "innocent" card game... the man gives no fucks. He will get you results like 95% of the time, but the process of getting there is chaotic and you have to be so courageous to put that faith in him and endure it in the meantime 😩

Ayla (tied with Tallys?): her method of being a wingwoman literally just involves walking up to the person in question, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder, and saying bluntly, "MC is into you (and/or wants to bang). Are you into MC?" In terms of subtlety, this is horrible, but it cuts straight to the chase and works like 50% of the time because most of the time, the people already like each other or are up for it lol, so she's not the worst to ask for this!

Tallys (tied with Ayla?): I think she's far more subtle than Ayla, but she might actually go opposite way in that she might be too subtle... not only do Elves tend to move quite slowly when it comes to other people's relationships (lack of time/urgency), but the way she'd pair people up/try to "nudge" them towards each other (like hyping MC up to someone they like) might be so subtle and low-key that it would probably fly over a lot of people's heads, especially if you were dealing with someone like a Trouble or an Ayla--like "yeah, I agree, MC is the best, why are you... telling me that" Tallys, trying harder: "I think they'd make for an ideal romantic partner, wouldn't you agree" Trouble: "......oh shit, does MC know you're in love with them??"

Riel: okay, I think if the interest were there, he'd dominate this list--his knowledge of people, their psychology and body language, and his ability to manipulate situations (particularly social dynamics) to suit his needs would put him at the very top of the matchmakers, matched (haha) only by Lavinet in that she's much more natural about engineering these things than he is. However, he could give less of a shit about interfering in anyone's relationships unless it suits some larger purpose of his or benefits him in some way... Otherwise, if you ask him to "talk to Shery on your behalf and encourage a love match between the two of you" he'll just give you his 😒 face and tell you to do it yourself

Blade - Halek: these two are tied for absolute worst. Just don't even bother. "Wingman" doesn't even exist in the vocabulary of words that Blade understands and Halek will just groan and grumble so much about what a hassle you've placed on him that you're literally better off using Caine than you would be for either of them. (Let's not forget that Blade is usually 1) your boss and 2) main enforcer of the "don't date other Shepherds" rule so it's just not a good idea to ask him to not only look the other way about breaking that rule, but to go even farther and ask him to be your wingman LOL the sheer audacity)

[claudia1829things]

"ATONEMENT" (2007) Review

"ATONEMENT" (2007) Review Based upon Ian McEwan’s 2001 novel, "ATONEMENT" told the story about how the lies and misunderstandings of 13-year-old girl from a nouveau-riche English family affected the romance between her older sister and the son of the family’s housekeeper. The movie starred James McAvoy, Keira Knightely and Academy Award nominee Saoirse Ronan.

Comprised in four parts (like the novel), "ATONEMENT" began with the 13 year-old Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan), an aspiring novelist with a crush on Robbie Turner (James McAvoy), the son of the family’s housekeeper. Robbie, along with Briony’s older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) have both returned for the summer in 1935, following their education at Cambridge. Although both Robbie and Cecilia have been aware of each other at Cambridge, neither have not bothered to acknowledged their romantic interest in each other until recently. Also at the Tallis home for the weekend are Briony and Cecilia’s cousins – the 15 year-old Lola Quincey (Juno Temple) and her younger twin brothers – and their older brother Leon’s friend, the owner of a chocolate factory named Paul Marshall (Benedict Cumberbatch). After Briony had witnessed several disturbing scenes – at least in her eyes – between Robbie and Cecilia, she comes to the conclusion that Robbie might be a sexual threat to Cecilia. Matters worsened when Briony joined the rest of the household in the search for Lola’s twin brothers, who had ran off in protest against their parents’ upcoming divorce. During the search for the twins, Briony witnessed the rape of her cousin Lola on the family estate by a man in a dinner suit. In the end, Briony claimed that the man she saw raping Lola was Robbie. Aside from Cecilia, the rest of the family believed Briony and Robbie ended up being sent to prison. At the outset of World War II, the British government released Robbie from prison on condition that he enlist as a private in the British Expeditionary Force. The rest of the movie, set during the early years of World War II, featured Robbie’s brief reunion with Cecilia – who had become a nurse - before his journey to France and the now 18 year-old Briony’s (Romola Garai) experiences as a wartime nurse. "ATONEMENT" turned out to be a first-rate film about the destructive consequences of lies and illusions. Both director Joe Wright and screenwriter Christopher Hampton structured the movie in an unusual way in which not only did they allow moviegoers different conflicting perspective on certain incidents in the story – a prime example would be both Briony and Robbie’s different points-of-view on an incident regarding Cecilia’s retrieval of a broken vase from the estate fountain, but also quite cleverly hinted that certain aspects of story – especially the World War II segments – may have been colored by Briony’s own emotions and imagination. Also, Wright, along with art directors Ian Bailie, Nick Gottschalk and Niall Moroney; and production designer Sarah Greenwood did an excellent job in re-creating the rich atmosphere of Britain in the mid-1930s and 1940 and especially the Dunkirk expedition. I also have to commend Paul Tothill for the film’s superb editing. Tothill managed to give "ATONEMENT" a rhythmic style that matched the sound of a typewriter that added an illusionary sense to the unfolding story. In other words, by editing the story in a way that allowed certain scenes to be told from different points of view and added a sense of illusion, Tothill’s work gave the audience a false sense of illusion – at least for those who have never read McEwan’s novel. I do have one quibble about the movie’s production . . . and I have to place the blame on Wright’s direction. I am referring the sequence that featured Robbie’s arrival at the beach at Dunkirk. At first glance, I was struck by the spectacle of Wright’s direction and Seamus McGarvey’s photography of the entire montage. Like I said . . . at first. Unfortunately, the montage ended up lasting several minutes too long. Not much time had passed when I found myself longing for it to end. I realized that Wright wanted to reveal the horror and chaos of war in all of its glory. But in the end, he simply went too far. I must admit that I was not as impressed by most of the cast of "ATONEMENT" as most critics and moviegoers. There was nothing earth-shattering about most of the performances . . . just good, solid work. Many moviegoers and critics had been surprised when both James McAvoy and Keira Knightley failed to earn Academy Award nominations. After watching the movie, I am not really surprised. Mind you, both gave very competent performances as the two lovers – Robbie and Cecilia But I had two problems with McAvoy and Knightley. One, their screen chemistry was not that explosive, considering the heated romance of their characters. It took a love scene inside the Tallis library to truly generate any heat between them. And two, I think their performances were hampered by Wright’s decision to allow the characters to speak in a staccato style that was prevalent in the movies of the 1930s and 40s in both Hollywood and Britain. I hate to say this, but McAvoy and Knightley never really managed to utilize this speech pattern with any effectiveness. There were times when their attempts to use it threatened to make their performances seem stiff and rushed. Perhaps they were simply too young and inexperienced. On the other hand, I was very impressed by the three actresses who portrayed Briony Tallis at different stages in her life. Legendary actress Vanessa Redgrave portrayed a 70-80 year-old Briony, who had not only wrote a novel based upon the events surrounding Robbie’s arrest, but also confessed to the mistake she had committed decades earlier. And Romola Garai portrayed the character as an 18 year-old wartime nurse. Both actresses did an excellent job of portraying these older versions of Briony. But it was the young actress Saoirse Ronan who stole the movie as the 13 year-old Briony, whose naivety, jealousy toward Cecilia and Robbie’s budding romance and penchant for illusions led to devastating consequences for the romantic pair. Unlike McAvoy and Knighteley, Ronan gave a superb and natural performance as the confused and emotional Briony. It is not surprising that her work eventually earned BAFTA, Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations for Best Supporting Actress. Before I end this review, I have to point out something that troubled me about "ATONEMENT". I might as well admit that I have never read McEwan’s novel . . . which is why the following storyline left me feeling confused. From what I have read about the film and the novel, Briony’s cousin, Lola Quincey, had been raped by the Tallis’ guest, Paul Marshall. And yet . . . she married the man, five years later. Why? Was it because she never knew that Marshall had been the one who had raped her? But judging from the hostile look she had given Briony at her wedding, Lola seemed well aware of that fact. Did Marshall actually rape her? Or had he seduced her that night the twins disappeared and Robbie was arrested?  I had assumed he had raped Lola.  Perhaps the novel had made the details of Lola’s storyline clearer. The movie left it murky. At least for me. In the end, I must admit that "ATONEMENT" proved to be one of the best movies released in 2007. Was it the best movie of that year? I do not think so. I have recently seen "NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN” and believe that it deserved that Best Picture Oscar. But despite some of the movie’s flaws, director Joe Wright managed to lift the usual period drama facade of Britain’s past and create an emotionally dark film from Ian McEwan’s novel.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#83 - Shadowmarch, by Tad Williams

Mount TBR: 69/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: Cover features your favorite color prominently

Rating: 1/5 stars

Well, that was a slog.

So I have a history with this piece of intellectual property. I was introduced to Williams as an author in college (1998) because several of the friends I made my first year were big fantasy nerds--no surprise there--and I was perfectly ready to move on from my high-school-era love of less sophisticated fantasy authors. I borrowed The Dragonbone Chair from one of those friends and off I went.

So in 2001 when news about Williams writing an online serial went around, and I saw the $15 price tag...well, I was a perpetually almost-broke college student still, and sure I spent money on books, but that was a high gateway, because a) I didn't own my own computer yet, I was borrowing friends' or using the computer lab to write papers and such; and b) sure, a chunky fantasy novel might be $7 or $8 in paperback, but it was portable, easy to reread whenever, and nobody had tablets or smartphones or e-readers yet, so an online serial publication was definitely not portable. Even fifteen dollars seemed like too much for the inconvenience of a book I could only read sitting at a computer, and couldn't read all of at once.

I was genuinely angry about this shift away from the paradigm, and much like Williams vowing this serial was online only and would never be published traditionally (which I distinctly remember but don't actually have a source for) I too vowed that I would never read it.

I held out much longer than he did, if my memory of that claim is even true. But I'm wishing now that I hadn't bothered.

This is bad. Not even close to the level of quality I expect from Williams, based on the earlier Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series, as well as War of the Flowers--which was weird but I enjoyed it--and the Otherland series, which was even weirder and not always good, but yeah, I still enjoyed that too, for the most part.

Who am I supposed to care about in this book? I'm no stranger to multiple protagonists, but there are simply too many here, meaning none of them get the development time they would need to be interesting. I'm trying to wean myself from the complaint that protagonists need to be "likable," because a character can be a jerk and still be interesting, but few of these protagonists are particularly likable either!

1. Barrick is a whiny jerk who folds under pressure and abdicates responsibility to his sister, and then makes a spectacularly bad decision for no reason other than to set up some tension at the end, and his future arc. If it's because he's "mad," bad plot reason, and if it's because he's affected by the more general shadow-madness, well, I guess he could be vulnerable to it like anyone else, but that's pretty flimsy too. 2. Briony is a fairly standard "if only I weren't a woman, people would take me seriously" princess who doesn't fold as much under pressure but is dealt a really raw deal. I'll give her credit, she does legitimately try her best to rule her lands, but she's also kind of a whiny jerk like her brother, too. 3. Quinnitan is...pointless. Sure, I see how the end of her arc in this book echoes those of the Eddon twins, but there is no direct connection between her plot and anyone else's. And I mean that literally, if there's anything that ties her story to any other single part of the book, I simply do not see it, it's buried in lore or foreshadowing that was lost on me amid the sheer weight of nearly 800 pages of plodding narrative. I read all of her scenes constantly wondering why I should care, and the fact that her arc is a very basic harem plot, "I don't want to be a token wife but really what choice do I have?" sort of thing, doesn't help, because on its own it's incredibly unoriginal. 4. Chert is marginally likable, because he's arguably got the most defined personality and most personal growth in the book, as a person of a "little" race who is distinctly not human--I get a mix of gnome and dwarf, with a faint whiff of Podling from The Dark Crystal--and who deals with an unexpected foundling by taking him into his family and trying to make it work, even when that foundling is really a big blank space in the story who still manages to get into trouble. 5. Captain Vansen gets points from me for being the guardsman deep in unrequited love, which is a trope I would absolutely eat up with a spoon. The problem is, the object of that love is a protagonist I don't care for (Briony,) leading me to question what the eff he's thinking that he can even admire her from a distance, let alone be in infatuation/love. And his plot arc is mostly "something goes wrong that's not really has fault but everyone blames him anyway." Which got dull.

Chert and Vansen are most of the reason this book gets a second star*, honestly. Chert's scenes with the Rooftoppers are generally pretty excellent, even if they're mostly tied to a plot arc that I don't care for.

The other thing that's getting me about this is that it feels like a deliberately grim-dark retread of Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. You've got a castle that's the seat of current government but used to belong to the enemy--the enemy that no one is sure even exists anymore, that lives in a land far enough away to feel distant but also somehow close enough to be threatening, once people believe in them again. That castle is perched upon magically important ruins/caverns, and that enemy has forms of magic/communication that affect humans and can cause or appear symptomatic of madness. There's a race of small likable people who aren't quite dwarves or any other "standard" fantasy race, but are still somehow cute/appealing. There's a crippled prince who's not really well-liked. One of the primary female protagonists is a young woman who laments the limitations of her womanhood under the patriarchal feudal system of the world.

And to someone who's never read either of these series, that list of similarities could mostly read like fairly common fantasy tropes, and I forgive anyone who reads this review and thinks that. But I've read MSaT probably ten times all the way through in the twenty-plus years since I was introduced to it, and I feel like I've just been handed the same story again, with a thick coat of gray paint slathered on it and a few details changed--and those changes are basically always for the worse. No one in this story can be said to be a direct equivalent to Simon, who gets a very clear hero's journey, but if I'm supposed to slot Barrick in as a Simon/Josua mashup (that crippled prince problem) then it takes the entire book to get Barrick out of his comfort zone and on his journey, where Simon got booted from the castle at the end of the first act of the first book.

And that gets at the underlying problem that is at least partially fueling all other problems--this book is clearly just the first act of the larger story, and yes i know! that is what first books do! but this also doesn't have a lot of forward motion on its own, and it doesn't resolve anything aside from the mystery of a single murder at that happens near the beginning. Seriously, all other plot threads get kicked down the road with the "and now they're exiles" theme that the ending has assigned to most of the protagonists. Chert doesn't suffer that fate, but the ending of his story line--also the end of the book itself--is the foundling reasserting that he doesn't know who he is, which is not new information. We've literally not known who he is the whole time, except that we do find out who his mother is, but don't find out how he was taken or why he apparently hasn't aged as much as he should have or what the Qar intended by sending him back "home." The identity of his mother is basically the least important question surrounding him.

I truly feel like I just read a 750-page prologue, and that is not a good feeling.

*Yeah, I told myself this was a two-star book, but by the time I wrote the whole review, it's not and I can't pretend I still believe that. This is a one-star book. This is so bad I don't want to go on with the series, even though it almost has to get better, now that most of our protagonists are out on their journeys. And because it could hardly get worse, right? But this already took up so much of my time (I had to take a week-long break in the middle to binge some romances, as a relief from all this grimdark toil) and even though I've managed to collect secondhand copies of the rest of the series, and they've been sitting on my shelves for a few years waiting for me to invest my energy into them...I'm giving up. Not worth it.

[ikarus-1337]

Like magic

I wrote this fanfic about my Ket!m!MC and deep crushing!Briony at a Lavinet’s party. I hope you like it!

Under the cut because 2.1k words.

@shepherds-of-haven

Lavinet's party had started some time ago. Edric didn't usually miss a party and as if that wasn't enough, Lavinet had said that she would make Briony be there too.

Edric's attraction to the pink-haired woman was nothing new to anyone, even Caine had already noticed. The signs were already everywhere. The way he got excited when she got to the room he was in, when he started spending less time with Trouble and started spending more time with her, when he left Blade for Briony as a spaarring partner, and even when he started running with her to cheer her up.

Without delay, he joined the party. The voice of the nobles talking and the background music reached his ears when he entered. He watched happy people eating and drinking, some dancing and others sitting on chairs.

The first known person he noticed at the party was Lavinet who was smiling at him. Her attention soon went to something else and Edric followed her gaze and that led him to look at Briony.

Looking at Briony, his heart was beating so fast it looked like it was going to jump out of his mouth. Briony was wonderful, she was wearing a dress in the same red color as the ribbon she normally wore. Her hair was loose this time and she was wearing a lipstick with a brighter red color than her dress. He also noticed that she was wearing makeup.

Briony however hadn't noticed Edric yet. Her attention was on people dancing to a song. The desire to dance was also clear in her eyes, but she was still without a partner to dance and he would not miss this opportunity.

He made a beeline towards her. The closer he got to her, the more he noticed that she was really entertained by people dancing. The music that reached her ears made her not hear Edric coming close. He had to give her shoulder a light touch so she would notice him, feeling the softness of her skin against his fingertip.

She was a little startled by the unexpected touch. Not because it was Edric who touched her, but because she hadn't noticed that she was distracted by watching people dance.

When she turned and looked at Edric a smile soon appeared on her face and he had no choice but to smile too.

“Edric, you came!” she said, looking at how he was dressed. The suit he wore was all black except for the tie and pocket square that were red. Although the suit covered much of his body, the suit still could not hide his physique. Something that Briony admired and used to flirt with. “And you look handsome!”

“Of course I came, knowing that you would be here gave me more than enough motivation.” He moved his right hand to her left hand, slowly brushing his fingertips on her fingers. Feeling something like magic, but much better. A feeling that made him yearn for her touch.

“And you are...” He searched for words to describe what he was seeing, but there were no words to describe the goddess of beauty he was seeing in front of him. He blew out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding in his lungs. Letting go of the first word his mind managed to formulate. “...stunning, Bri.”

There it was, the nickname he had put on it. The nickname that made her heart skip a beat. She noticed that he had never put a nickname on anyone else, only her. Even though some recruits started calling her Bri as a way to mock her (Edric made the recruits run around the training camp all morning), the way he called her Bri was almost palpable. It was like a verbal caress. Something that usually made Briony smile.

Furthermore, she failed to ignore the way he praised her. There was so much intensity in the way he spoke that it didn't seem like it was just to please. It was a real compliment, perhaps the most real one she had ever heard. It made her freckles bathe in the slight red of how her skin was blushing at the moment.

“I– Thank you, Edric.” She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and Edric could barely control his desire to trace her jaw with his fingers. “Lavinet helped me with the makeup and choosing the dress but I think she was more excited than I was while we were choosing.” She said before smirking.

Lavinet at this point in time was probably already the biggest supporter of this relationship. Edric sometimes talked about his attraction to Briony with Lavinet and it was very likely that Briony did the same thing. This left Lavinet at a point where she could be the matchmaker of this relationship and Edric could think of a few things that would make Lavinet more excited than playing the cupid.

“You had to wear a suit more often,” Briony said as she approached him to adjust his tie. “It looks good on you.” Briony's hands stayed longer than usual, touching the fabric of his suit. Yearning for his body heat. Wondering what his skin felt like. She smiles before her hands return to her sides.

“Thank you. Riel gave me this suit on the Black Sun mission but it's difficult to have situations to wear the suit.” Edric looked at the dance floor, noting that the song was over and now another one was starting. He remembered that Briony seemed interested before he started talking to her.

“Do you want to dance with me?” Edric asks with a smile on his face, extending his hand to her. This takes Briony by surprise, but it also causes a big smile to appear on her face.

“Yes I want.” She took his hand and felt some small scars on his palms but she also felt his warmth, and it caused a strong emotion that seemed to make her heart jump out of the rib cage. “But I have to warn you, I don't dance very well.”

He looked at her as he led her to the dance floor. “Well, I've danced before, but it's only been a few times. What I know about dancing was watching people dance while I worked as a bodyguard. So it's going to be an interesting experience. For both of us.” Upon reaching the dance floor he put his hands on her waist and she responded to this movement by placing her hands on his shoulders.

The two started dancing while the music played. Briony seemed more focused than Edric because she didn't want to step on his feet, thinking it would ruin the moment and it made her look down.

Edric preferred to focus on her face and while they were dancing he observed all the details of her face. He observed her beautiful lips that were covered with red lipstick, her freckles that he often wanted to kiss, her cute nose, her lashes that even without mascara were still perfect, and her beautiful purple eyes that sometimes it reminded him of a wonderful galaxy and he could get lost in the galaxy for hours.

When Briony finally looked up and into his face she realized the look he was giving her. The pupils of his blue eyes were dilated, as if he were looking at Blest's most precious thing. This intense attention he was giving her made her blush again and she noticed that she couldn't break eye contact even if she wanted to. She was no longer paying attention to the dance, but to Edric. Her hands tightened on his shoulders and his hands tightened on her waist.

As the dance continued Briony thought about saying something but she didn't have the courage. The two were afraid that if they said something they would end the moment and so they just continued to dance while facing each other.

Finally Edric was the first to build up the courage to say something. “Bri, I want…” And without further delay he started to tilt his head forward. At this moment Briony was surprised but quickly recovered and started to close her eyes going towards the kiss.

After months of attraction and flirting, their lips were almost finally touching. Their desire were almost the same: They wanted each other.

When their lips touched and the first pulse of electricity spread between them, but Briony didn't notice and ended up bumping his foot and it caused the kiss to stop and she started to fall.

The surprise of the moment made her squeak and Edric noticing this held her tightly before she hit the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and managed to keep her balance. They ended up getting lost in each other's eyes again but the moment didn't last long because Briony noticed that the people at the party stopped and were looking at them both.

Edric had never seen Briony turn so red in his life. Her neck and face were completely red with embarrassment and at that moment he swore that she looked like Shery when she was embarrassed. Laughing, he put his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear “Shall we go to the garden? Lots of spectators here.” And Briony only managed to answer “Y-Yeah.” While she tried to avoid eye contact with the people at the party.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When they arrived at the garden Edric took Briony to an apple tree nearby. She seemed calmer than before, the redness that embarrassment brought to her face had already subsided enough, with only a slight line of red left over her freckles. She was still avoiding looking into Edric's eyes and he didn't know if it was because of the broken kiss or the attention she had received because of the near fall. Probably both, he thought.

“Hey, Bri,” He took off his suit jacket and put it around her shoulders. “Are you alright?” He had a worried expression on his face but he still had a smile on her face so she knew it was okay.

She held his jacket tightly before building up the courage to look him in the eye. “Yeah, it's just…” She looked down again and Edric moved a little closer, but not too close to try not to invade her space without permission. “I ruined our moment.” And when Briony looked up again, she had tears in the corners of her eyes.

Edric took a step closer. “Bri, you didn't ruin any moment, it was an accident.” He slowly took her hands, intertwining his fingers. “You danced very well. I would love to dance with you again.” He said as he kissed the space between her knuckles.

“Is it true?” She asked as she tried to stop the crying, but some tears still fell.

“Yes, it's true.” Edric took her hands to his shoulders and then took another step closer and brought his hands to her face to wipe away the tears, but he ended up caressing her face, feeling the softness of her skin against the small scars from his hand. “You are the person I have most enjoyed dancing with in my entire life.”

He started to caress her face with his right thumb. His left hand started to move to her hair and he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, then he slowly traced her jawline with his fingers.

At that point Briony had stopped crying and was now almost mesmerized as she looked into the clear blue of his eyes that reminded the sea that she loves so much. “Edric…” Her hands on his shoulders started to move and rested on his neck.

Edric took one last step closer. Now he could feel her breath hitting him. “I'm proud of you, Bri.” His hands went down to her waist. “You are precious to me.”

The words he addressed to her were like the softest tune in Briony's ears and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You make me happier.” With that last sentence out of his mouth, a smile appeared on Briony's face and she touched her forehead to his forehead. Their heavy breathing came together.

“I love you, Edric.”

Now it was time for a smile to appear on Edric's face as well.

“I love you too, Bri.” He said, pulling her body closer.

Finally they kissed, both of them feeling the emotion they feel for each other but now ten times stronger, the electricity passing through their lips and the heat traveling through their entire bodies. Almost like magic, but much better.

[tact-and-impulse]

Some fic for @shepherds-of-haven and the Lovelace Day event! Upped the challenge for myself and combined 2 prompts for each...MC. Sorry I have eight. 

Under the cut or on AO3.

I. while pretending to be a couple / in a garden full of flowers

The house was quaint and picturesque, with a gravel path leading to the front door and boxes of pansies under the bay window. The servant led them around the building, under the arch that led to the expansive garden. “This way, please.”

Flat stones marked winding pathways for visitors to traverse, under the shade of tall trees and even over an artificial stream. In one grassy area, a few tables were set up with refreshments. People milled about, enjoying the scenery. All around, flowers bloomed in abundance, in swathes of color and scent.

“It’s a beautiful place.” He commented.

“It’s even more so at night. Perhaps, we’ll see you again at such a time for you and your…lover?”

“That’s right!” Briony tightened her hold on his arm, nervously laughing. “We’ll definitely think about it.”

“Yes, and seeing more will help us decide.” Well, if they succeeded on this mission, there wouldn’t be a need to return. Somewhere, underneath the natural beauty, there was a black market organization selling magical artifacts to any buyer. With a quick scan, the vast majority here were Diminished. There were a number of older Ket too. Every stoic, weathered face was reminiscent of his father, a cousin, a neighbor. The hollow ache of self-loathing awoke in his chest, the edges of his vision fading…

“Honey, do you need to sit down?” Briony’s murmur cleared the fog, and her violet eyes were brimming with concern.

“Sorry, I was a little dizzy.” He squeezed her hand, finding genuine comfort. “But I feel better now.”

“That’s good. Let me know if it happens again, okay?” The concern hadn’t subsided but her expression was warm and she tugged him down one of the paths. So, what are we looking for?

Intel said there’s a hedge maze, but we should probably save that for later. For now, let’s keep an eye on anyone fishy.

Got it! She gave a slight nod, and he couldn’t suppress a smile.

He was still learning, but he could check anything that sparked interest with his Binding magic. And if needed, Briony could cause a distraction or get them out of a pinch, without their swords. The issue was that the garden was usually filled with groups or pairs, hence the necessity to pretend to be a loving couple. Lavinet had bemoaned not being able to join the mission and took it upon herself to outfit them. He was unaccustomed to his tailored attire and hoped he wasn’t showing it, but Briony looked pretty. Her pink hair was bound with a burgundy velvet ribbon, in the same shade as her knee-length dress. She was openly enjoying the garden, ponytail swishing with every head turn.

They were soon in contact with some Mages, claiming to have a collective date. They made small talk, delivering the cover story about their relationship. The sun was directly overhead, and Briony wiped her forehead.

“Are you thirsty?” He asked, though they hadn’t finished talking to the Mages. “I can get us some drinks.”

“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll be right here.” Don’t worry about me, I can handle it!

“Alright.” Reluctantly, he located the nearest table and picked up two flutes of vytas. How’s it going?

I don’t think they’re part of the organization, but I’m not sure if I’m selling it by myself. I’m so sorry.

It’s okay, this isn’t easy. And we can still make a recovery. He didn’t spill a drop as he headed back as quickly as he could. Briony was visibly tense, biting her bottom lip.

“Here you are, love.” He said and simultaneously thought. I apologize for what I’m about to do. Try not to break the glass.

As her fingers accepted the drink and her brow furrowed, he bent his head down and brushed his mouth over hers in a lingering kiss. One-sided at first, before she began to shyly respond.

Someone coughed. He pulled back from Briony, and he was genuinely embarrassed. The group apparently thought they wanted to be alone, and with teasing remarks, they wandered away.

Briony immediately downed her vytas. The glass was intact but a hairline crack had appeared above her thumb.

As for him, he was unexpectedly warm. His previous kisses were on missions like these, and yet, this felt new. Wait. Briony had amnesia, so had that essentially been her first kiss? “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure! I’m totally fine. I, um.” Her lips were very red…and soft. He forcefully dragged his stare back to her eyes. “Let’s keep going?”

He blinked. “With…?”

“With walking! In this garden.”

Of course. The mission. He swallowed. “Right.”

She took his arm again, but as they resumed their search, he couldn’t put her gliding touch out of his mind.

II. in the middle of battle / during an unexpected rainstorm

The sudden downpour was definitely not appreciated right now. Her brown hair was plastered to her ears, and rivulets trailed down her nose and temples. Mud squelched under her boots as she headed to the rendezvous point.

Hopefully, other people had already made it there. An unforeseen complication had forced the Shepherds to scatter, Blade ordering them to regroup at several known locations. The enemy had retreated for now, but the tension made her tighten her hold on her sword.

There! An old ruin of mossy stone provided shelter from the rain, and from what she recalled, it had to be one of the designated places. She scrubbed the water out of her eyes and hurried her pace.

As she approached, the sounds and sight of a clash met her. Two figures, fighting next to the ruin. A flash of lightning illuminated their faces, one unfamiliar and the other stoically focused. Blade. She felt relief, then dread at what appeared in her peripheral vision. A shadow, lurking in the haze.

She had improved lately, but fighting wasn’t her greatest strength and to be honest, it wasn’t her preferred option in a pinch. She only needed an instant to summon her magic, compressing a spell into her voice.

“Stop.”

The shadow froze in place, and she took the opportunity to strike. Just as the body slumped, she heard her name. The raindrops ceased as Blade lifted his cloak over her. His low voice was reassuring. “It’s good to see you.”

“Same to you.” She smiled and then laughed when she realized how soaked he was. “We can talk more if we’re both dry. Let’s go.”

They took shelter and kept watch at opposite ends. Ongoing communication revealed that about half of their party had reached another rendezvous point, and the other half were heading to theirs. Blade nodded at the information. “Understood. Did you run into anyone else?” He addressed this question to her.

“No, I haven’t. I hope they’re okay.” She rubbed her hands together, dispelling the numbness with friction.

“They know what needs to be done.” Nevertheless, the slightest crease between his eyebrows showed his worry. “But you seem to dislike the rain.”

“I always take storms seriously. I guess it’s because of years of living by the sea.” She lightly said.

“It makes sense. Would you ever go back there, if you could?”

“I don’t know. I think about it sometimes, but mostly about how I could have done more or what might have been.” The cold seeped through her wet clothing, and she hugged herself. “Anyway, it would probably be a very lonely trip.”

Blade looked conflicted, drawing one step closer. That became a pivot as a silhouette leapt out of the mist. Unsheathing her sword, she was pulled backwards by another. She switched her grip and stabbed deep, the groan of pain a good sign. Blade returned to follow through, killing her attacker. The body fell with a wet thud, and a nonverbal casting ensured it was flung faraway.

“Good work. It’s not over though; the others are having a hard time.” He readied to move. Distant voices echoed from the direction of the second rendezvous point. “We’ll have to be careful.”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait for the others.”

He was immediately concerned. “Are you injured?”

“No, but I’d only slow you down and you can be stealthier on your own.”

“That’s not true.”

“It won’t be long before everyone else comes here.” She argued. He didn’t react but she refused to budge. “I can handle myself, and we can regroup again later. But we need everyone to be alive. If it means we need to split up, that’s what we need to do, Commander.” She intended for the professionalism to ground him. Both of them. As much as she hated referencing their positions, the mission took priority.

At first, he remained unreadable. She was willing to wait; although out of practice, she was accustomed to dealing with stubborn Ket men. Then, his eyes flickered with approval. He suddenly ducked, and she thought they were being ambushed again when he kissed her. Firm but fleeting, and not cold at all. As she tried to process what had happened, he stared at her for a moment, expression affectionate.

“Everyone includes you as well. Stay safe, and thank you, Captain.” He smirked, ruffled her hair, and sprinted back into the storm.

“W-wait, uh…” She stammered belatedly. Her knees buckled, and she placed a hand against the wall for support. Her own heartbeat rivaled the intensity of the thunder overhead. She wasn’t sure how long she remained in a daze, until Trouble announced his presence.

“Hey, you made it!” A pause for scrutiny. “Why’s your face so red?”

III. surrounded by fire / shut the other one up for a minute

“You really are the strangest one. Every time I think you’re out of surprises, you manage to come up with another.” The voice was all too familiar.

She coughed, squinting past the smoke to see Croelle, looking as if he had stepped out of the ring of flames. Sparks floated around his visage.

“Oh. It’s you again.”

His lip curled in a sneer. “Is that what you have to say for yourself, when you’ve made this mess?”

“Not a mess. Just an…unfortunate side effect.”

“A side effect blazing beyond your control.” He stepped closer, looming over her, yellow gaze relentless. “You never asked me whether this little side project of yours was possible.” His tone wasn’t judgmental, just curious. “Was it because you didn’t want to know, to cling to your belief of free will? Or was it because you already knew the answer and blinded yourself to the inescapable truth?”

She did not speak. Maybe, it was a little of both. Maybe, it was neither. Ambiguity was a way of life for her. She had wandered aimlessly for years with only her pistol for protection and company; it had taken the threat of execution for her to commit to the Shepherds. But she had gained knowledge, especially with regards to her own abilities. Since her Veiled Circle days, there was a depth to magic that fascinated her, and Shifting magic provided limitless possibility. Experimenting with it occupied her free time, plucked at her thoughts during patrols and missions. Danger couldn’t dissuade her.

The temperature was becoming uncomfortable, perspiration beading at her hairline and collar. She switched to her first language in a brief lapse. “Servori. What does it matter?”

“Part of watching the Shepherds means I need to be informed. Your motive is a valuable piece of information. And my employer thinks you’re unpredictable. At the moment, there’s some investment in keeping you breathing.”

In the end, it was about work. “I see. However, I might not be alive for much longer if this keeps burning.” She directed some of her remaining magic to extinguish a portion of the fire, but it wasn’t enough. She didn’t have the necessary skill.

“Are you asking for my help?”

There was no use in denying; above all, she had to survive. She sighed. “Yes.”

“I want to hear you say please.”

She leveled him with a deadpan stare. “Why?”

“I’ve earned your gratitude more times than I care to remember.” That meant he did remember. “And not once have I been repaid.”

She lifted her chin, annoyance growing. He was asking for this now? Even after multiple odd meetings where he popped in and out, she still didn’t understand him. He wasn’t quite a Mage, he worked for a mysterious party, he knew her name without asking. And he had the power to make Inquisitors listen to him. He was puzzling, and for once, she cursed her habit of fixating on difficult problems.

“You’re too elusive to properly repay.” She evaded.

“If it weren’t for me, you’d be in the Chrysalis. One word is the very least I’m owed, for dealing with you and your reckless desire for troublesome situations. The tavern was one, and then you had to-”

He was talking way too much, and the logical course of action was to shut him up. As she reached out and cupped his face, there was a novel flash of confusion in his eyes before she kissed him.

And he was still trying to talk. “You…fu…listen…” His resistance only made her more determined, and finally, he gave in. One hand wrapped around her neck, the other maintained a bruising hold on her hip. Fine. If he wanted to lead, she’d go along with the flow.

She’d never done this before, and she left no room for fantasies in her mind. A kiss was supposed to be romantic, Shery liked to say, but in this case, it bought a solid minute of quiet. And it was her victory, she shut him up. That was enjoyable enough. Also, the curious tingle under her skin was compelling, but she was running out of air. She released him, rocking back on her heels. Interesting. Indignant shock wasn’t a bad look on him. She arched an eyebrow. “Are you finished?”

No response. He had been rendered speechless. The confusion hadn’t left, his eyes narrowed and focused on her mouth.

“By the way, that was my first kiss.” She added. “Does that count for anything?”

The fire abruptly died, and the light with it. The cold night air returned to tangle her curly tresses. She was going to be begrudgingly courteous, but any polite action was snuffed when he growled a curse and grabbed her face for another kiss.

IV. against the bookshelves in the library / while delirious at 3 am

“What are you reading?”

She immediately dove over the opened books in front of her. “Aah! Just, n-nothing, it’s smutty romance novels! All sorts of positions, don’t worry about it!”

“Uh-huh.” The Archmage bent down, grabbing one of the tomes on the edge of her workspace. Ignoring the disgruntled noise she made, he flipped through. “Hm, this seems more like formulas than fiction, and it doesn’t explain why you’re in the stacks this late.”

“Oh, fine.” She deflated. “I was trying to summon that thing you sneezed out.”

Red did a double take. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, remember when you had the flu? Trouble said some weird thing came out of a planar rip and it crawled away. I want to know what it is! Plus, some of the kids can’t sleep.”

“Does that mean you were the one who told them about it?” He was clearly teasing her.

“I thought it was a funny story, I didn’t realize it would scare them that bad! Come on, won’t you help out a fellow Conjurer?” She reached for the book and he didn’t fight her off.

“Sure, I’d like to find out what it is too.” He pulled over a chair, his gaze scanning over the various pages and papers. “What have you got so far?”

Tucking her chin-length curls behind her pointed ears, she went over the current iteration of the problem. He quickly located a certain volume, obviously intent on something specific, and soon resolved a few mistakes she had made. Meanwhile, she was making inroads on another part and they discussed how it would fit in. It was kind of nice working like this again. It reminded her of days long gone by, when she was still a student in Capra and he was helping out the younger Mages after graduation.

Midnight rolled around, but neither of them were tired yet. The equations became more complex, the balance in magic more precarious. She’d known he was smart, but he was really on another level. She was impressed. And when he complimented her creativity, she felt rather warm. It was approaching three in the morning, when they finally completed the summoning circle.

“I think it looks good.” Red was double checking, but his expression was confident. “Should we try it out tomorrow? Or would that be today?” He gave a light laugh.

“We might as well do it now. It’d be a waste if we stopped, right?” She grinned, and his expression was so heated she almost missed his response.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

They started the ritual. The salt lit into blue flame and the runes glowed. The air became denser, charged with power, until everything reverted as the spell ended. With a crack, a large, red-eyed, otherworldly bug resembling a centipede fell into the circle. Someone might have screamed, maybe both of them. A hefty warhammer slammed down on the creature, just as two of her daggers speared its carapace. It twitched, infinite legs curling, before remaining still.

An eerie silence filled the library. She tackled Red. “It worked!”

And then, things became a little…blurred. Granted, neither of them had slept in hours. But one moment, she was hugging him and the next, he had lifted her against the bookshelves and his mouth was on hers. Whoa. She’d considered it a couple times, that he had to be a great kisser, but she underestimated him…

When he pulled away, it was to press his forehead against hers and smile. A small part of her recalled the ‘Antiqua bedroom eyes’ gossiped about at school, but she didn’t know him well enough then to take the rumors seriously. If anything, people could have exaggerated more.

“Nice.” She managed to say, before blacking out.

As it turned out, one could get sick from staying up too late. She was feverish and indolent in bed for a few days, enduring plain broth and toast and the scenery from her window. After she recovered, she was on patrol again and upon turning a corner, noticed Red at the other end of a hallway. He was talking to some of the newbies, unaware of her presence. Instantly, she was reminded of what happened in the library, after they killed the centipede-thing. But then again, had it actually happened or had she already been sick at that point?

Slowly, she began to step back, plotting a detour in her route. She thought she was pretty good at being stealthy, but Caine suddenly rushed by, loudly greeting her.

“Shh!” She tried to hush him, but it was too late. Red had spotted her, and he pivoted, striding her way. A faint blush was spreading across his face; the kiss had definitely been real.

Oh, damn.

V. over a field of dead enemies / recovering after a battle

The last imp burst under pressure, viscous fluid spilling over the hilt of his dagger. Unceremoniously, he tossed it on top of its other fallen brethren. He shook off the blood and rolled his shoulders. The surrounding battlefield was littered with ice spikes and frozen corpses, and when he exhaled, his breath was visible. Despite his fatigued body, he grinned.

This was one of the best fights he’d ever been in.

He was running low, but he mustered the willpower to disinfect his hands and inspected himself for injuries. Nothing too concerning, and the worst wound at his ribs stung the most but it didn’t feel like anything internal had been damaged. He slapped on some liniment, the thick paste providing enough coverage until the Healers arrived.

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned towards the direction of the approaching figure, tracking her fluttering braid and sleeves. Ayla lifted a hand in greeting. “Hey. You good?”

“I am, now that we’ve won.” Judging from the growing noise around them, the Shepherds had officially secured victory. Now, the tedium of taking stock of their losses and recuperating had begun.

She let out a low whistle. “You killed all of these?”

“Sure did.” The only Endarkened he tolerated was a dead one. And the more dead ones there were, the better off everyone was. He glanced at her, noticing a cut on her arm. Blood dyed the fabric a rusty brown. “Does that hurt?”

She shifted in place, failing to shield her wound from view. “It’s none of your concern, I can fix it. Later.”

“Let me see it.”

“What are you gonna do? Kiss it better?”

He rolled his eyes. “I have salve to spare…and only for Mages who admit when they’re banged up and too exhausted to summon the wind.”

“You’re such a dick, you know?” She grumbled but walked over, offering her arm. “Go ahead.”

He cleaned his hands again, certain it was the last he could do before taking a proper rest. Her injury was deeper than he initially thought. At his request, she tore the rest of her sleeve off and he tied the fabric into a makeshift tourniquet. She looked so slender, but he knew if he pointed it out, she’d prove how delicate she most certainly was not.

His line of thought came to an abrupt end when her voice was uncharacteristically hesitant. “Why do you keep doing this?”

He snorted. “What, tending wounds? Nah, I just know the basics and I don’t want to die from infection. Most of what I learned was common sense to my clan. Ask any Elf and you’ll see.”

“I meant being nice to me.”

“I thought you said I was a dick.”

“Well, that too. But you ultimately end up being kind. So, why?”

“Because I like you. Hey, watch it.” He intoned, dodging her hefty jade ornament.

“Me?! But, but you…said you like me? Like how?”

“How do you think?” And before she could throw another insult, he added. “I don’t know if I’d go to the opera with you-”

“Fat chance. That’s Riel’s thing.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “But I’d be happy doing whatever you want to, or if you can’t think of anything, I’d like to show you the places I’ve been. Just the two of us, when we can catch a break.”

“…as friends?” She cautiously asked.

“No, as a couple.” He met her amber gaze. “You’re fun to be with. Yeah, you can be prickly, but I like a woman who can stick up for herself. And deep down, you got a good heart. You remind me of this southern fruit I had one time-”

“A fruit?”

“Just hold on, will you? Anyway, this fruit is thorny on the outside, but sweet on the inside. Not too many people like it, but that’s fine, more for me and I don’t share.”

Her laugh was brisk. “Good, because I don’t either. But I’m a runner when it gets rough.” She warned.

“Then, it’s a good thing I’m stubborn enough to run after you. If you need time to think about it, I can be patient.” Over the years, he had propositioned and been propositioned many times, but this was different. Ayla was different.

“Promise not to be a dick so much?”

“I’ll try my best. And you always call me out on it, which I take seriously.”

She cracked a smile and looked down at her wound. The bleeding had stopped, and he was glad. “I decide pretty fast. So…I’m saying okay. Ack!”

Utterly happy, he had locked an arm around her waist and picked her up. His grin ached, and when he kissed her, he didn’t care who was watching.

VI. during sparring / fluster the other one into losing

The recruit slid backwards with a groan, admitting surrender. “Damn, you’re tough.”

“Just takes practice.” She said, helping xer up with one hand. “Your footwork could be better, but you can train blindfolded.”

“That works?”

“Sure it does.” The reply wasn’t her own, and she glanced aside to see Chase, leaning against the nearest wall. He pushed off with one foot, walking over with a grin. “If you know what you’re doing in the dark, that’s always useful.”

Ignoring the innuendo, she turned back to the recruit. “It makes you rely on your other senses. You might not think you’re improving at first, but give it a few weeks. Your muscles will remember.” Damn it, now he’s going to twist that too.

“Mm-hmm.” Chase hummed and she regretted looking at him. He was enjoying this way too much.

A group fresh off patrol passed by, and after a polite goodbye, the recruit hurriedly joined them. Alone in the training area with the thief, she set about restoring the equipment to their rightful places.

“I knew when I joined but you really are battle-hungry.” He remarked. “Everyone’s lining up to spar you.”

“It’s what I do best.” She shrugged. She had always been fighting, Father liked to say, from the morning he and Mother had found her furiously squalling on their doorstep. They wouldn’t be surprised over her current situation, with the Shepherds and testing her knuckles with child-snatching scum in back alleys. At least, she thought they wouldn’t. With each year, it was harder to tell and besides, there was no point in wondering. They were dead and gone, with the rest of Westwood. Bitterness sharpened her follow-up question.

“Are you asking if you want to spar with me now?”

“Little old me? Go toe to toe with a Battle-Mage?” He paused. “Yeah, I’ll bite.”

The rule was simple: first to hit the ground or surrender was the loser. No magic or weapons, but she was fine with discarding her bow. He shed a multitude of daggers from various pockets, and despite her mood, such a spectacle had always entertained her.

“No blindfolds too.” He suggested.

“Afraid you’d lose?”

“As good as they can be, it’s even better to see what’s happening.” Another insinuation, but this one wasn’t so easy to dismiss. Something about his tone, the undercurrent of intimacy.

Yeah, right. She shook it off, clearing her throat. “…I mean, sure. Let’s get this over with.”

Admittedly, Chase was probably the most agile opponent she had faced in a long time. Every time she’d think a blow would land, he’d be a breath away or a step out of reach. He couldn’t touch her either; for an excruciating period, they were at a standstill.

A chance appeared when one of his cartwheels led him close to a shadowed spot. Energy surged within her as she rushed up. Her forearm pinned him against the wall, her other fist stopping short of his temple. She was breathing heavily, stray wisps of hair escaping her bun and tickling her neck. “Caught you.”

His gaze darted back and forth between her hands, his short laugh more like a wheeze. “You did, so what’s next?”

“Really? If this was an actual fight, I could have done much worse by now.”

“But I haven’t lost, technically.” He leaned in, and there was nothing except the scent of his cologne and the warm press of lips.

What? What?!

Stunned, she snapped her head back, blood rushing to her face. His dilated green eyes watched her with amusement. Instinctively, she stepped away, but his foot was there, hooking and tripping her. Shit! She thought as she was airborne. The ground met her and judging by the points of pain across her body, her landing must have been undignified. The match was decided.

Chase ran his tongue over his lips. “Guess I win.”

“You cheated.” She darkly retorted.

“Funny. Was there a rule against distractions?” At her stubborn silence, his eyebrows lifted. “Never been kissed before?”

“Of course, I have.” Not since breaking up with her ex-girlfriend though, and certainly not in a combat scenario. Stop it, she told her erratic pulse as she stood and brushed herself off. This didn’t mean anything, he was only teasing her.

Just then, Blade called from an upper window, that they were having a meeting. Chase flashed him a thumbs-up of assent. Then, he returned to her with a strangely thoughtful expression, and she felt exposed. She tried not to shiver. The moment passed, and he gestured to let her walk ahead. “Come on, after you?”

“…Thanks.” She muttered, wiping dirt off her cheek and ignoring how warm her skin was. One of these days, she was going to get him back.

VII. sharing a cloak / patrolling the battlements

A gust of wind hit her in the face as she opened the door. “Oof, it’s cold.” The chill was one drawback to night patrol, but she liked being helpful and she usually didn’t need much sleep anyway. Heading out onto the battlement, she reflexively narrowed her eyes when the wind picked up again. She moved her tumbling hair out of the way, and the person she most wanted to see was standing a short distance away, looking out at the city. Behind him, another door closed as a figure retreated inside.

Smiling, she walked over. “Hi.”

Amidst the darkness, Trouble’s golden head was a bright beacon. Half a stick of charch was in his mouth, and he blew out smoke as he turned towards her. He waved and returned her expression. “Hey yourself. Too bad it’s freezing out here.”

“It is, I already miss the fireplace. Was that Tallys just now?”

“Yeah, she said she’s turning in, now that you’re taking over. So, you’re stuck with me for tonight.”

“I don’t mind.” She answered honestly. “I like patrolling with you. Were you watching something in particular?”

“Not really. I was thinking about stuff.” Uncharacteristically, he didn’t continue to share. He took another pull of his cigarette. “But anyway, let’s start moving. Gotta get the blood flowin’ in weather like this.”

She agreed and kept pace beside him. Occasionally, she glanced up only to find a blanket of dark clouds.

“Notice something?”

“No, it’s an old habit. My teacher navigated using the stars, and I liked trying to do the same, while I was on the road. But I haven’t seen any stars in Haven.”

“It’d be nice if we could, like when we were out on last week’s mission.” He wistfully said. “Speaking of which, how’s your gun working now?”

“Definitely improved.” She patted the pistol secured to her hip. “I never knew you could fix it like that.”

“It actually took me a few tries to get the technique right.” He began to excitedly discuss the intricacies of the inner mechanisms.

She listened attentively. To be honest, there was plenty she didn’t know about her weapon and was unable to ask until recently. Her father had been a soldier, but since he became mayor of their little town, he had never picked up a gun again. It would have been nice, to hear what he thought. He and her mother would have liked Trouble.

The wind swept through, this time from her side, and the full blast forced her to stop and brace herself. The aroma of charch and Trouble’s familiar scent of grass and leather filled her nose, while heavy warm cloth draped over her. One of his hands hung over her shoulder, tightly holding the edge of his cloak. Now that they were sharing, they were standing close, sides touching. His solid body radiated heat, and she resisted the urge to lean in.

“Wouldn’t want you getting sick.”

“Aw, but I haven’t been sick in a long time.” She joked. Nevertheless, she beamed at him. “You’re sweet. Thank you.”

He sheepishly grinned. “Heh. Feeling better?”

“Mm, much warmer.”

They continued on for a minute, before he slowed to a halt and addressed her. He spoke carefully. “I was talking to Tallys before you showed up.” He scratched the back of his neck, seemingly hesitant. “Basically, she called me a dumbass, but in her own way. She just thought I wasn’t noticing some things. Well, maybe I have all along, deep down. I wasn’t sure though, I’m not great with recognizing signs.”

“Trouble? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m rambling.” He squared his shoulders, his serious gaze trained on her. “Somehow, I’ve got it into my head that you like me.”

Ah. She never had any intention of being coy and was waiting for him to figure it out, but she still blushed. Thank the One-God her voice was steady. “You’re not wrong. I like you a lot. I was hoping we could be more than friends. But if you don’t want to, I won’t have any hard feelings.”

“No, I want to!” His immediate refusal sparked relief. “And I like you too. I’m, uh, not exactly used to it though. Being in a relationship.”

“Neither am I. But that’s okay, we can learn together.”

“Learning together sounds good.”

They stood like that for a few moments, happily taking each other in. Then, she pointed out. “You know, people typically kiss right about now.”

“Huh? Oh, true.” He visibly gulped. He tilted his head forward, stopped, slightly changed his angle, and stopped again. Steam was practically billowing from his red ears.

She laughed. “Here.” Slipping her arms around his neck, she met him exactly where they both wanted.

VIII. while one is injured / awakens some deep-buried feelings

Reaper’s down.

The message sent a chill through her, despite the blazing summer sun. She finished bandaging the wounded recruit in her care and swallowed. Can you give me the coordinates? I’m going to him.

Once the response came through, she ran out of cover and towards the group in the distance. All around, there were the sounds of gunshots, battle cries, and the screams of dying Endarkened. Fortunately, her path was clear, and without needing to draw her bow, she reached the portion of stone wall providing cover for the officers surrounding Halek. They stood, explaining the situation.

“We moved the Revenant body out of the way.”

“But he’s in bad shape.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Um…” It was difficult to reply confidently; her heart was pounding, her thoughts racing. “Keep the area clear while I heal him?” Her gaze fell upon a large hand, the matha nearly entirely obscured by blood, and she immediately knelt at his side. She barely registered the officers’ dispersal as she triaged him, focusing on what had to be done.

It wasn’t a secret among the Shepherds that they were close. Close friends, they insisted to anyone who would question their dynamic. He was engaged and had a duty to his people, while she didn’t know where she belonged. He felt confined in his role, a path that had been marked for him since he was born. He once said he envied her freedom, but she told him otherwise. She walked an uncertain line, between a culture that had loved and raised her with the awareness she’d outlive them all, and a virtually unknown bloodline she only knew through stolen books. It hurt to confess how tormented she was, but he didn’t seem to mind, asking her more thoughtful questions.

Perhaps, they found comfort in each other. It soon became typical for anyone searching for him to check her office first, and to send for her after one of his blood-rages. When Chase teased her for being too obvious, she had been scared to her core. She knew, all too well, how important Halek was to the Hunters and she wasn’t even a full-blooded one. No, she couldn’t feel anything more for him. But things would be so much easier if she could smile at him or gaze on his sleeping face without feeling a twinge of pain.

How long it took to heal him, she wasn’t sure. Fractured bones were set right, torn muscle repaired, and internal bleeding stopped. She held his face, murmuring the spell to bring someone back to consciousness.

He didn’t stir. Fear seized her, that she wasn’t capable at all, that he was gone forever. “Halek? Halek, wake up. Please, wake up!” She repeatedly called to him as she continued to cast, pushing the limits of her magic. Fatigue snuck up on her, dark spots floating in her vision. She had failed Maj, but she had to save him. With every second, it was harder to breathe.

Slowly, his gray eyes opened and he languidly blinked. She gave a strangled sob of relief. “You’re alive.”

“So are you.” His voice was hoarse, raw. A curse escaped him as he flexed his hand. He gripped her shoulder, firm but not painful. “Did I hurt you?”

“You didn’t. I’m fine.” She reassured.

He exhaled, the tension dissipating. Then, his hand slid to the back of her head and brought her mouth to his.

It was almost too much at first, and she didn’t know how to react. He kissed her with unexpected passion, a longing he must have buried deep down. All of the emotion he had contained was given to her, and she was reciprocating in full. She loved him. Hopelessly, helplessly loved him.

When the kiss ended, they were perfectly still, the world off center. Then, a distant explosion righted it again and she remembered the situation they were in. Her lips burned as she pressed them together and carefully leaned away from him. “We shouldn’t-” The rest of the sentence caught in her throat, blocked by the upwelling of guilt as well as shame in that she had wanted the kiss. And that she half wished he’d pull her in again.

But he didn’t. His touch relented, his fingertips running through the white streak at her left temple. Any desire had receded, the chieftain’s mask back in place. “I’m sorry.”

“…It’s alright.” That felt like a lie and she had never been good at lying. She let him go and dropped her gaze as they rose to their feet, the awkward silence between them suffocating.

When he said her name, she couldn’t resist looking up at him. He hesitated for a second before he promised.

“We’ll talk later.”

[windyfiend]

*knock knock-knock*

Runa pulled back on her speeding hoverboard, whirled along the wall and spun in midair to face the locked door, her heart caught guilty in her throat.

“That’s Al,” Sebastian announced with an edge of impatience. He tightened the last translucent thread of a reattached limb. “Ask them what they want. I can’t be disturbed.”

Runa breathed again. With a swallow and silent assurance to herself, she clicked away the locks and pulled the door open a narrow crack.

“Hi Al,” she said meekly. “Hi Pallas. Sebastian wants to know what you want.”

Alexis raised curious brows while Pallas snorted a laugh at the nickname. “Tell Sebastian,” Alexis said evenly, “that I must speak with him in private on behalf of the empress.”

“Is it about me?” Runa gripped the edge of the door, hovering a little lower so she wouldn’t meet Alexis’ eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my legs don’t work, but it’s okay and I know he tried, it’s not Sebastian’s fault, and if I’m making too much noise I’ll be a lot quieter I promise, and I’ll give back the hoverboard and please don’t get him in trouble--”

“Runa!” Alexis sighed with a reassuring smile. They dipped their head, searching for her face until Runa looked up. “This has  nothing  to do with you,” they said firmly. “It’s okay. We’re very proud of you for being so brave. And of course you can keep the hoverboard.”

Runa sat a little taller, as if a weight had been lifted from her back. A bright smile returned. “Okay!” she chirped, then turned to call out to Sebastian. “They said the empress sent them to talk to you!”

“Tell them to make an appointment,” Sebastian snapped without looking up from his work.

Runa gave Alexis an apologetic grimace. “He says--”

“Sebastian, you are not in a position to make demands!” Alexis shouted through the narrow space of the door.

“I beg to differ,” Sebastian hissed.

Alexis squared armored shoulders. “Runa, please move out of the way,” they commanded calmly, then pressed an armored hand against the door and marched inside, backed by a shine of sunlight from the hall. “Sebastian. You failed to appear for your report to the empress.”

“An empress who declines to show up to her own appointments is  hardly  justified in keeping me to mine,” Sebastian said while he zipped up the last body bag.

Pallas beckoned to Runa from the hallway, her armor glittering. “Come on, little bee,” she said softly, a hand outstretched. Her smile trembled. “The palace isn’t safe right now, so I’m your escort out of here. Let’s leave these two old ladies to their bickering.”

Runa hesitated, and the hoverboard swayed and whirred beneath her. She cast a questioning look across the room at Sebastian, but he was too busy scribbling in his notebook to look up. She turned away from him, her shoulders slumped, and glided quietly out into the hall.

“Shut the door behind you,” Sebastian’s crisp voice echoed after her.

The door clicked shut. Alexis stood at attention in the flicker of lavender candles and the dead blue glow of hanging lights.

Sebastian lined up the luminescent bottles of sludge-veskal, his back turned to the Scythe commander while he bowed over his notes. “Your cold predator stare will never have the effect you want, Alexis,” he said boredly. “I look into the gaze of death every day.”

“You’re supposed to be working on a project that would finally put an end to the abductions,” Alexis enunciated clearly for the artificer’s benefit. “But instead you fired your employees, declined to file your report, and spent half the day entertaining a child. The empress believes you may have misunderstood the importance of your assignment.”

Sebastian took his time writing out the rest of his lab notes. He read them over once more, then closed the notebook softly and turned to face his accuser with his chin held high.

“Did the empress,” he said with a mocking air, “explain to you the details of this assignment-of-great-importance?”

“I understand the purpose of withheld information,” Alexis snapped. “I do not know what I do not  need  to know.”

“You need to know  this,”  Sebastian said, “because you’re going to assist me.”

“Hire back the artificers that were provided to you!” Alexis snarled. Their armor shimmered and rippled with anger.

Sebastian watched them coolly. A sneer crept into his words. “It’s not that sort of assistance.”

--

Runa raised an arm to shield her eyes from the sunlight of the garden, and she smiled at the warm rainbows of the flowerbeds. Roses and lilies blossomed bright among a shimmer of tiny blue flowers and bursting pink blooms. A fountain trickled softly at the heart of a crystal pond, where little frogs leaped from the ledges and plunked into the cool water.

Pallas watched while Runa hovered over the quivering gardens, the hoverboard turned almost sideways while she craned her neck to see the colors.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pallas asked quietly, her arms folded over her chestplate.

Runa raised her head, confused only a moment before she dropped her gaze to the pavement at Pallas’ feet. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” she said. “There’s nothing anybody can do anyway, so it doesn’t matter. But look!” She smiled again and the hoverboard surged higher with a blue flash and a spin. “Sebastian gave me a hoverboard, and I made handles for it, and a backrest, and a sling for my feet, and I can do cool tricks, watch!”

Runa shot like a bullet down the garden walkway, a streak of blue light in her wake. She corkscrewed high into the air like a bird, dove straight down and rippled across the pond before she spun to a laughing stop.

Pallas stood frozen in place, her eyes blown wide. “Runa…” she choked while her heart resumed beating, “...I’ve been training with hoverboards for a decade and I’ve  never  seen them go that high. Are you sure that’s  sludge  veskal?"

“Yeah.” Runa glided curiously closer. “I watched Sebastian cut the mushrooms from the dead-people pieces. He blended them up and juiced out the veskal. He wouldn’t let me help, though.”

There was a twitch in Pallas’ strained smile. “You’re a weird kid, you know that?” she laughed.

“Briony says that a lot.”

Silence tightened between them while they walked toward the end of the garden, where the top of the long steps overlooked the city of Woondaly and the sun-tipped spires. Beyond the light, high above, the stars still glittered in the night sky.

“We’ve got four squads on rotation looking for Briony,” Pallas said gently, her voice braced and careful. “If there’s any evidence for what happened, we’ll find it.”

“Did you check the abandoned candy factory?” Runa skidded in front of Pallas, her coal-dark eyes shining determined. “And the theater attic? And the reptile house at the zoo? We sometimes hide in the bathroom until after closing and--”

“We searched all your leads.” Pallas laid gentle hands on Runa’s shoulders. “I wish I had better news, honestly I do, but so far there’s no sign of her. We may have to be prepared for--”

“NO.” Runa wrenched away, a stab of tears cutting down her cheeks, her clenched teeth bared. “You’re not looking  hard  enough!” she shrieked.

Pallas winced as if she’d been struck. “Runa--”

Runa flung away down the steps and into the city streets far below, slicing like a blue-shocked blade through the crowds, and she was nearly out of sight before Pallas could grab her own hoverboard.

Pallas hissed a trembling obscenity, jammed on her helmet and raced after the lingering trail of blue light.

--

“The problem with sunlight,” Sebastian continued, stepping closer to Alexis’ rigid stance, “is that the Kith are its only incubator. These past three hundred years, the empress has made unparalleled effort to maintain the light with the city’s own mechanics. The orrery, so far, has been the best hope. But even  it  must be replenished once a year.”

He produced a bottle of pure veskal from his pocket. He held it up, shining bright as a tiny blue sun. “I suggested an alternative solution: a separate source of light, equally bright and powerful, incubated and renewed by the same methods as the Kith. We reverse-engineer those skull-faced atrocities, imbue our own people with the gift of light, and sustain the city forever without heinous contracts.”

“You want to  create  Kith?” Alexis wheezed in disbelief. “You would deform our own people for the sake of light?”

“Children’s bodies are most adaptable,” Sebastian argued. “If the imbuement is introduced early enough, they will live healthy, normal lives without side effect. But there are elusive properties of the Kith that are impossible to replicate based on theory alone.”

Something in Sebastian’s voice made Alexis’ stomach drop. “Runa--”

“--must return here when her hoverboard runs low on veskal,” Sebastian finished smoothly. “By that time, the induction should have taken hold. But in its current state, the experimental infusion is inherently flawed in a way that cannot be repaired.”

Alexis clenched their fists and carefully controlled their words. “She will never walk again,” they guessed.

Sebastian tilted his head in grim affirmation. “This is where your assistance is required,” he said gravely. “You could supply me a consistent stock of children with which to further test my hypotheses--”

“You’re out of your mind!”  Alexis roared.

“-- or,” Sebastian went on as if he weren’t interrupted, “you could bring me a Kith.”

[antiquatedxenon]

Shepherds of Haven Recruit Form

2: electric boogaloo

okay let’s try this again but like

less rushed lmao

Biographical Info

Name, Nicknames: Ana Gray, “Rookie,” “Bright-Eyes” (more of a pet name)

Callsign: Bright-Eyes 

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 24 

Background Info

Weapon: Six-shot revolver nicknamed “Old Reliable,” which she stole off of a wayward mercenary who wronged her in the past. Also owns a shortsword from the Shepherds’ armory which she uses as a secondary weapon, though she only carries on assignments where she might wind up short on ammo. 

Magic Specialization: Battlemage (Duelki)

Racial Heritage, Birthplace: Norm heritage; born in or near Westwood. Adopted and raised by Norm parents. 

Education: Self-taught. Stole and salvaged spellbooks, grimoires, and any other magical sources she could, and used the information to piece together how to control her magic on her own.

Miscellaneous Info

Past Jobs: Mercenary. She preferred to take small-time jobs and avoid drawing attention to herself. 

Likes: Open space and the outdoors, chilly or cloudy weather, freedom of movement (parkour or climbing trees and stuff) 

Dislikes: Confinement, church, stifling environments, closed-minded people, harsh sunlight (she sunburns easily) 

Strengths: Quick-witted, adaptable, charismatic, creative

Weaknesses: Unrefined magic, lacks specialization, weak-willed

Hobbies/Special Skills: Reading, drawing, card games and trick-shooting (she shot a tomato out of the air once)

Spirit Animal/Daemon/Patronus: A perching bird! 

Major Arcana: Strength - Courage, Persuasion, Influence, Compassion

DnD Morality Alignment: Neutral Good

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Meyers-Briggs Personality Type: ISFP-A - “Adventurer”

Personality

(Bold which way your recruit leans.)

Heart of Gold/Will of Iron

Rebellious/Loyal

Independent/Social

Tactful/Straightforward

Bold/Cautious

Charming/Stoic/Intimidating

Witty/Sincere

Resentful/Forgiving

Self-Preserving/Self-Sacrificing

Book-Smart/Street-Smart

One-God/Atheist/Old Faith

Relationships

Best Friend(s): Trouble, Shery, Ayla, Caine

Preferred Mission Partner(s): Trouble, Blade, Tallys, Ayla, Briony

Friendly Rival(s): Trouble, Ayla, Riel, Briony

Love Interest(s): Everyone?? Blade or Shery or Tallys or Ayla or Prihine or-

Ship Name(s): Blana or Airy or Annys or Ala or Prina or-

First Kiss Scenario: just gonna do this once for everyone on that list up there because i’m multishipping trash and am probably gonna do multiple playthroughs because of it-

“Your first kiss with Shery happens in front everyone in the Shepherds’ Order.” Oh god poor Shery-

“Your first kiss with Tallys happens on accident because Caine knocked you two together.” Two things; 1) that was no accident. 2) Tallys totally could’ve dodged if she actually wanted to..........

“Your first kiss with Ayla causes a nosebleed.” Yea that sounds about right

“Your first kiss with Blade is on the compound’s rooftop.” Yeah, that seems like a good place for an assassin and an outlaw to fall in love uwu

“Your first kiss with Prihine happens while you’re both drunk.” Oof. At the point in the timeline where they’re friends and Prihine drops by the compound every now and then to visit, and one night Prihine comes over in distress and Ana has to comfort her and they end up sharing a bottle of whiskey on the roof. And then they start talking about feelings and certain things come to light and then This Happens. Yea i’ve been looking through Prihine’s tag and now i’m fond of her-

Enemies: It’s too early to tell, honestly. 

Reference Quote from Last Employer or Other Recruits: 

excerpt from a letter from an individual, who had hired Ana as a mercenary, to another: 

“...ANA GRAY is her name. You’ll know her when you see her. Pale skin, ashen hair, and her eyes glow. She’s a mage--think she might actually know magic, too. She doesn’t ask questions--besides ‘what do you want me to do’ and ‘how much will you pay me for it.’ 

Heard she was making her way to Haven, too. Might be good to take care of ‘her.’”

conversation between recruits overheard in the Shepherds’ compound: 

“They say Ana Gray murdered a Revenant... with her voice! Shouted it apart!” 

to be fair I don’t know much about anyone who isn’t in the public demo-

Art

picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/257476

picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/227881/

More

For more detailed sheets and ways to flesh out your character, go to @feather-x-crown​‘s MC, Google template, the ShoH playthrough surveys, and the quizzes found here under the Quizzes tab.

Ana has a character sheet in the discord sheet!!

Finally, tag 3 people to fill out their OC’s forms, too!

Tags: except I already tagged the one friend I have earlier so-

[midrashic]

[headcanon] a map of hidden places i: new york city

{ a map of hidden places }

the first time james visits new york is more accident than anything; there’s a weapons expo and it’s january, and surely new york in january can’t be any more unpalatable than scotland in january. there are restaurants and boutiques whose names were, even then, synonymous with luxury, but james spends most of his time in the hotel room with the nanny playing with the puzzle ball he’d received that christmas. enid takes him to the natural history museum to see the mammoth bones, to central park to stare at the bare, shivering tree skeletons while he mounds old snow into various blobby shapes.

he doesn’t remember any of this; by the time he’s ten, new york is just a vague smear of concrete and solitude in his imagination, a glimpse of a faded marble facade that blends into all the other glimpses of all the other cities of everywhere else his father has ever had a conference.

for years, there’s the odd holiday abroad with his aunt, a trip with a school friend whose father owns a major hotel in the city or something. then there’s the navy. he learns new york in thirty-six hour stretches of shore leave, and he learns new york through the eyes of dozens of royal navy sailors, which mainly means that he learns very fast which bars near the harbor serve something roughly as strong as paint thinner for a measly two dollars per drink, or a dozen for a twenty.

but he learns other things, too. he saves up the days of walking on solid earth for the weeks when his feet won’t touch dry land and wanders into the neighborhoods that his well-to-do parents and guardians never let him anywhere near: bushwick, the lower east side, basically all of the bronx. new york city’s just hit its peak for violent crime, though someone only attempts to mug him once and gets a broken jaw for his trouble besides. the strangest thing for a brit is the gunshots that will ring out randomly, multiple times a night, but that’s true for every american city he’s ever visited.

he experiments with the subway. the tube in the 80s and 90s was no picnic, but hell, he learns, is a suspiciously empty new york subway car.

one strange thing: over the course of one particular weekend, he runs into a girl he slept with on shore leave in kingstown in a pizzeria named something uncreative like “48th street pizza,” an old university professor in a rare book store, a boy who was in the class above him at eton in bryant park, and then the girl again at a bar that night. (there is indeed a repeat performance.) this is a statistically accurate sampling of how often he recognizes a face from his past. back then, it was the third-largest city in the world, after tokyo and osaka, but it could sometimes feel very fatalistically small.

& then he’s in new york fairly often as a junior agent, but he doesn’t really tap the veins of the city until he’s a double-oh.

the thing about new york is that, for all that you tend to run into people you haven’t seen in years fairly frequently, it’s a great place to disappear. there’s no way to cover every possible exit when planning an ambush and a thousand laundromats, bars, and, hell, magic shops to duck into when you’re being tailed. vaguely seedy fleatraps that bill themselves as “youth hostels” where you can rent a room for four months and leave without anyone having asked you your name. the city seems to boast a disproportionate number of people sitting alone in the corners of coffeeshops, bars, hotel lobbies. it’s the first thing he thinks of when the name shows up in a mission briefing or news article: the pure relief of being quietly ignored, of being anyone, of being no one. he kills a drug kingpin and sips espresso at a café patio ten feet away as the police begin to boredly take statements. he garrotes a man in a bodega bathroom and no one notices for three days because it’s always out of order anyway. new york makes it so easy, so very easy to let a face become a file become a statistic. it has a carelessness with its people that he’s used to seeing in the third world, in places where the corruption is overt, in places that don’t even pretend to have a functioning police system. new york doesn’t care about you.

it also makes it so very easy to pick people up.

in a lot of ways, new york is a lot like london. it’s not every city in the world where you can get a sandwich at four am because the son of a bitch you were surveilling spent five hours haggling over uranium shipments with his contact, which was four hours and fifty minutes longer than he needed to spend. there’s a certain level of mercenary profit-seeking required to keep a sandwich shop open all night, damn circadian rhythms.

but new york takes it to excess. in london, you can probably find 24/7 takeaway within a reasonable walking distance, but in new york, you’re guaranteed to have at least five in the immediate neighborhood and eight more if you’re willing to go a little further for a substantial uptick in quality. during a particularly frustrating bit of downtime not longer after the quantum incident, bond strolls into a midnight karate class for no other reason than he’s bored and wants to see what kind of people can only do karate in the middle of the night. it’s a surprisingly friendly bunch, two night shift workers, a sleep-deprived college student, a jumpy little tweaker, and a single mother who decides to do this with her scant two hours of free time weekly. it’s taught by a petite woman who hits with the precision of an architect and used to practice jiu-jitsu competitively until a back strain caused her to switch to a sport with more standing and less rolling around on the ground.

he does try to sleep with her, but they actually end up sharing a platter of nachos in between (fittingly) manhattans at a bar and chatting about differences in karate conditioning techniques and shitty b-movies. the bartender joins in for the latter. he walks away that morning to another endless round of negotiation with the cia feeling strangely refreshed for a man who got no sleep and no sex.

bond ends up censoring his new york reports more than any other locale, not because missions go wrong in new york more often than anywhere else, but because they tend to go wrong in utterly baffling and sometimes embarrassing ways when he’s in new york. in the reports, he changes the timely plague mask-wearing flash mob that allowed him to escape his pursuer to a traffic jam, the girl wearing a dress made of lettuce that beat a terrorist into submission with her tomato purse into a well-placed police officer, the message he got painted on his nails in gold glitter to a simple note (it worked, the fsb searched him and found nothing and apparently manicured men in brioni are common enough in the city that no one even gave him a second look). new york is many things, but it spits on the dignity of the profession.

felix hates new york, hilariously. he calls it “the big asshole.” he hates the garbage sitting out on the streets, the way you can never tell whether a puddle is rain or urine, the flimsy little metrocards, the food deserts, the traffic, my god, the traffic. (bond has to agree: it’s bad. he once walked to laguardia instead of waiting for a taxi.) the only places he hates more than new york are minnesota and south sudan, which are the foreseeable consequences of a boy from texas spending his first winter away from home in the midwest and being a sane person with a functioning sense of smell. but for some reason, international criminals turn up in new york a lot more often than they do in ann arbor or south sudan, so felix has no choice but to spend sometimes weeks or months at a time in his third-least-favorite place in the world.

(bond knows why he really hates new york: in 2003 he was chasing a jewel smuggler and ran straight into a fruit cart. he was washing fruit juice out from behind his ears for a week and he lost the target. after that, anyone would hate this place.)

when bond is in midtown west, he makes a point of stopping by the trenta tre pizzeria, which boasts pizza that isn’t oily, isn’t too chewy or crisp, and boasts a sauce with a salty-to-sweet balance of flavors that make his eyes roll back in his head. he’s had the real deal, pizza lovingly crafted by hand, topped with buffalo mozzarella, and wood-fired in a tiny neapolitan back room. he knows better than to tell an italian--or anyone who he needs to think of him as a well-traveled sophisticate--but he prefers this.

coincidentally, the pizzeria is located next to a bodega that displays its fruit on wooden stands on the sidewalk. behind the peaches lives a cat, well-fed and sleek and a shameless thief of chicken parm pizza toppings. he doesn’t know her name--the owner is from rural ethiopia and doesn’t speak english, mandarin, arabic, french, german, spanish, russian, or any of the four other languages bond speaks--but in his head he’s named her selina after that greatest of feline burglars, catwoman. selina is good company after a violent mission, and almost never sheds on him, which is more than he can say about the other cats in his life. if he lingers after the pizza to pet her a little longer, no one needs to know.

the events, the new trends, the previews, the releases, blah blah blah. the access is touted more than it actually matters. he’s sure that- if he actually lived in new york he would appreciate the convenience of dwelling in the obligatory stop of every tour and the go-to place to drum up media attention. but he doesn’t and he has enough frequent flier miles that his grandchildren will probably be getting complimentary upgrades and if he really wants to be at the premiere of a much-hyped performance of la traviata he’ll make it there somehow. he does notice that the access has given new yorkers a strange sense entitlement--when a fashionable event happens someplace other than new york, the resentment is deeper, the sense of loss sharper--as if everything important should happen in new york. still. he brings home a tea flavored with the newly discovered ruby chocolate months before it becomes widely available as a souvenir for q. there are compensations. 

when q finally punches down his fear of air travel for long enough to make it to new york, bond keeps him out of manhattan. they drift around brooklyn and queens, wandering streets balanced on the knife edge of an existence that is almost suburban--dogs everywhere and strollers between the specialty shops and markets. they sit in a soda fountain famous for its egg creams and share a sundae named after elvis. q orders three different sodas--he’s a connoisseur of exotic beverages--and pronounces the house blend the best cherry soda he’s ever tasted. bond smiles at him around his ice cream float. the place is packed, every seat filled, but here, at a little round table tucked into the corner, he and q might as well be invisible, being aggressively ignored by everyone except the soda jerks. just two people, forcefully alone together. the last two people in the world.

[mariequitecontrarie]

People Will Talk: Part 1

Summary: Atticus Gold and relative newcomer Belle French have developed a relationship no one in Storybrooke approves of, and people make their opinion known in small-minded, small-town fashion: he’s too old for her, and the pretty young librarian needs to find friends her own age. When Gold ends the relationship to protect Belle’s reputation, the town turns on him again. To make matters worse, his friends and family are mad at him, too. But as we all know, love wins in the end. Rating / Word Count: T / 2700 A/N: This is the Marie’s Three-Year Writing Anniversary Rumor/Assumed Fake Dating/Family AU that no one asked for. There’s a Snowing rescue, Alice Jones, Wish!Hook Killian Jones, Curious Archer, even a little Nealfire because this is my AU and I can if I want to. It’s my thank you gift for your support and friendship for these three years. Hope you enjoy!  A/N 2: Written for the May @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: Fake dating/arranged marriage AU  Thanks to @maplesyrupao3​ for your beta awesomeness!

ON AO3

“Is that egg?”

“Miss French!” Gold jumped, dropping the sponge he was using to scrub his front door. Soapy, slimy water dribbled down the front of his charcoal pinstripe suit.  

Belle bit her lip and frowned. She’d been Belle just last night when they were cuddling on the sofa in his den. She had even kissed him before she went home, a brief brush of his deliciously rough cheek with her lips, hovering as close to his mouth as she dared to come.

“I’m sorry!” She touched his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“No matter.” He shrugged and dabbed at the wet spots on his chest with his pocket square, as though having his house egged and washing the door in his finest apparel was an everyday occurrence.

Belle recognized the cut and sheen of his three-piece ensemble. Brioni, and tailored to fit him like a glove. When he’d been alive, her father had an entire walk-in closet filled with dozens like it and Italian hand-stitched shoes so shiny she could see her reflection in the gleaming leather.

“Here, let me.” She plucked the pocket square from Gold’s fingers and began patting it down the front of his suit, frowning at the orange-yellow streaks of egg yolk, half-cooked in the sizzling 90-degree heat. It was on the tip of her tongue to offer to buy him a new one, but a proud, self-made man like Gold would never accept or understand the gesture.

She drifted closer, swallowing a noise of delight as she ran the silk over the lean muscles of his chest. In the stifling summer heat, his alluring scent of tobacco, vanilla, and warm male skin wafted toward her. He stiffened when she reached his ribs, his posture rigid, his eyes looking straight ahead. When she snaked a trail downward toward his stomach, he closed his fingers around her wrist, stopping her from continuing. Sweat beaded on the stubble above his lips, and she had the crazy urge to rise on her tiptoes to lick it away. His thumb pressed into her wrist, and she wondered if he could feel the hammering of her pulse.

Breathless, Belle lifted her chin to meet his gaze; his honey brown irises wide and troubled. Like a spring, he released her and jerked away as though he’d been burned.

She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, confused by his sudden withdrawal. “This is crazy,” she said, looking at the stained house. “We’re nowhere near Halloween. It’s not even October.” Outraged at the idea of someone egging Gold’s house, she gestured into the late July sunshine with a frown.

“Pranks know no season in Storybrooke,” he muttered with another shrug.

She sighed. She’d moved halfway across the world from Melbourne to Storybrooke about eight months ago and was still learning all the quirks of life in small-town America. Lord knew her parents tried to shield her from the worst of it, but her family’s high-profile shipping empire had made them the target of ridicule and speculation all her life. When Papa had been alive, the Australian tabloid paparazzi followed him everywhere. With her father’s death came the end of their interest in the life of Belle French. But here in a small town, everyone was famous, and news traveled around faster than lightning bugs in the wood.

Belle wiped her sweaty hands on her skirt and painted on a brave smile. The least she could do was help Gold clean up the mess. “Do you have another sponge?”

He gave her a passing glance, then went back to scrubbing the door. The sticky viscous substance had dried on the leaded glass pane in the oppressive heat, making the consistency as tacky as dried glue.

When her stomach rumbled, she pulled out her mobile phone. “If you’re not going to accept my help, I’m calling for takeout. Does Thai sound good, or would you prefer pizza? I wouldn’t say no to a garlic butter crust.”

There was a long moment of silence and he continued to rub at a stubborn spot beside the door knocker. “You needn’t have troubled yourself by stopping by,” he said at last.

Her empty stomach did an uncomfortable flip at his brusqueness. “But it’s Thursday,” she said with a teasing smile, trying to push past his formal tone. “And even if it wasn’t, it would be weird for me not to stop, especially when I see you outside. You’re on my way home. Now come on, I’m hungry.”

Belle owned a rambling Victorian only two blocks away from Gold’s, and the walk between her home and the library meant she passed his house twice a day, five to six days a week. The day they met he was standing on the porch cursing at knotted strands of Christmas lights. The decorations were a surprise for his son Neal. He lived in New York City and had made the last-minute decision to spend his the holidays at home instead of in Boston with friends. She’d stopped and offered to help Gold untangle the strings, and they’d struck up a conversation about Charles Dickens.

“You’re better with books than with people, Belle,” her father would say, patting her on the head with a laugh. Like the dutiful daughter she was, she took the advice to heart and learned to talk to people about books.

Unfortunately, no matter what she said today, Gold was doing an excellent job of impersonating a mime.

An uncomfortable cord of silence stretched taut between them. Belle’s hands started to tremble and sweat dripped down her back. Disappointed, she eased her phone back into her handbag. They always met up for carryout dinner on Thursday evenings, sometimes at her house, but mostly at his. Once in a while, they ventured out, but the best times were when they curled up on the couch barefoot for food and conversation. It was so simple and normal; a stark contrast to the silent, chef-prepared meals at the long dining room table she’d grown up with where you had to hike a mile down the table to pass the green beans.

The company was the best part. Gold was witty, charming, and handsome and always had a funny anecdote to share about a tenant or a pawnshop customer. Given the choice, she would have spent every evening for the rest of her life talking and laughing with him.

But he hadn’t invited her.

“Gold.” She touched his shoulder again. “Talk to me. Do you have any idea who did this, or why?”

He tossed the sponge onto the porch next to the bucket, his shoulders slumped. “I’ve told you before, Miss French, I’m not well liked.”

Determined to banish the dark clouds gathering over them, she forced a smile. “The name’s Belle, remember? And I like you just fine.”

“All right. I’m not well liked, Belle. People don’t want to see us together. It’s a shock to the senses, or so I’ve been told.”

Her mouth opened in surprise. “Atticus, what—”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed. If we’re walking down the street side-by-side or having a bite to eat? Nasty stares? Concerned whispers? It’s always the same story: Gold the cradle robber, taking advantage of sweet, innocent Miss French.”

Belle balked. “I’m twenty-eight, not in nappies.”

“You know what I mean.” His small, ironic smile made her heart hurt.

Belle chewed her lip, thinking back over the past few months of their friendship. The truth was, no, she didn’t. She didn’t have the first clue what he meant. Being with Gold was like reading one of her favorite books: when they were together, she was too captivated by the man at her side to notice anything or anyone else. The way his hair glinted in the sunshine, the way his dimples bracketed his hard-won smiles, and how sweat beaded on his upper lip when he was warm and agitated.

“Jefferson’s aunt came into the shop to compliment me on my beautiful daughter.” He sighed. “Last week when we were at Granny’s and I took the liberty of ordering your cocktail while you were in the restroom, Ashley Boyd asked me if you were old enough for a drink.”

“Who cares what they think?” she retorted, hands on hips.

An ugly laugh spilled from his mouth. “You’ll care a lot when you’re denied library funding by the town council, or people cross the street to walk on the opposite side so they don’t have to walk past you. Maybe they’ll throw eggs at your bedroom window on account of your reckless decision to spend time with the town pariah.”

“Bullshit.”

His jaw dropped in surprise. Good; she'd gotten his attention.

She wanted to boast that she could buy and sell twenty libraries one hundred times over without making a dent in her bank account. But she couldn’t say that, any more than she could admit she wrote anonymous donation checks to the library once a month, or confess she acquired new children’s and art history selections last week because she was bored. People believed she was eeking by on a meager associate librarian’s salary when in reality she accepted the paycheck to keep up appearances and be polite. Her position at the library was about sharing her passion for reading, not making money.

Money she had plenty of, but what of friendship and love? Those came at a premium she couldn’t pay for.

“I mean it. I call bullshit.” Her fingers dug into her hips. “Why are you pushing me away?”

“More like hurrying nature to take its course.” He waved her concerns away with a hand. “Look at me. I’m nineteen years older than you. My hair is graying, my wrinkles are multiplying, and my leg aches worse today than it did yesterday.”

“I am looking at you. And I like both what I see, and the man I know. Very much.”

He shook his head as though he hadn’t heard her. “You don’t have to trouble yourself, sw...Belle.” He gestured at the door. “Over this or me.”

The compassionate words were at odds with his cold, hard tone, as though he was chipping ice off a block. His face, usually so open to her, had hardened into an impenetrable mask. Many times she’d seen him look at others with the same cool appraisal, but she never figured on being on the receiving end of his bitter stare.

At a loss, she shivered in spite of the sweltering evening heat and wrapped her arms around herself. Gold was her friend, her best friend in town, really. She didn’t want to lose their relationship over the say-so of some silly busybodies.

“What about your other friends?” he asked, still scrubbing away at the stupid door.

Belle chewed her lower lip, considering. There was Ruby, and Mulan, and Ariel. Mary Margaret and David Nolan were kind. She liked them all, but her connection with Gold was special. At least she thought so.

Still, he continued to scrub, all his attention on the now spotless mahogany door. The sponge scraped against the door in a maddening rhythm that matched the sick pound of her heart. She grabbed his wrist, wrestling the sponge away from him. “You’re my best friend.”

“You should stop coming here.” He swallowed. Forcing himself to send Belle away was the hardest thing he’d ever done. Even more difficult than facing his ex-wife’s midnight departure from his and their son’s life almost twenty-five years ago. “Before people get any more wrong ideas.”

Belle squeezed the sponge, wringing it out between her small white fingers. “You don’t want to be around me?”

“No! Yes. I mean no!” Frustrated, he ground his back teeth. She wasn’t understanding. The problem was him, not her. It was always him, couldn’t she see? “That’s the furthest thing from the truth. You shouldn’t want this. Not with me.”

Quips from Jefferson’s sweet maiden aunt and snide remarks from the likes of Ashley Boyd weren’t the worst of it. More than one well-meaning town denizen had taken him aside at great risk to their rental agreements to explain how disgusting and improper a relationship between two people so far apart in age was. How it would be better for everyone if he left the young librarian to herself and allowed her to make some real friends. Phrases like “old enough to be her father” and “sugar daddy” peppered the one-sided conversations. In each case, he’d told them to mind their own bloody business, pretending to be unaffected, but the interactions left him feeling shaken and sick.

Yesterday when he came to collect rent, the Widow Lucas had stared him square in the eye and handed him a stack of bills. “You’re closer to my age than you are to hers, Gold. And making a fool of yourself. As long as she’s associated with you, she’ll never have a chance with anyone else.”

Never have a chance.

Gold was furious, but even his legendary temper couldn’t rival the pain of knowing Granny was right. They all were. They were playing upon his trust issues, exploiting his greatest fear: Belle was humoring him until someone younger and more attractive captured her time and attention. And he was falling for it.

“Surely you’re tired of playing games with an old man,” he said, bitterness leaking into the words.

He watched the blood drain from her face, nausea rolling through his gut. He grappled for the cane he’d leaned against the porch railing to steady himself.

“People talk.” She jerked her chin, whispering the words through barely parted lips. “Let them say what they want. I don’t care.”

“I see. You think this is only about you.” Ruthlessly, he hammered another nail in the coffin of their relationship. Dizzy, he looked down at the porch, watching an army of ants carry a crumb towards a crack. Anything was preferable to acknowledging the tremble of her jaw, those striking blue eyes brimming with tears and wreathed with dark circles of pain.

“Why...” she seemed to curl up on herself as she spoke, her voice becoming small as well as her body, and his heart shriveled even further. “What about...what about what we want? You can’t help who you like spending time with, can you?”

God above, he was a bastard. A sick, sadistic part of him was actually enjoying her reaction. She really did care about him, and he didn’t deserve to spend another moment in her company. Not as her friend or as anything else he might desire.

“I’m too old for you, Belle.” He winced the moment the trite excuse left his lips. He thought of their trip to the beach last week, and how she’d coaxed him to take his shirt off for the first time in ten years. How he hadn't even minded the way her warm gaze roamed over his skinny white chest. “The last several months have been...pleasant...but it’s time to move on.”

“I thought we were friends.” Her voice was raw, and she twisted the sponge.

He shook his head, aghast that she still believed the problem to be on her end. “No, sweetheart. It’s me, not you. I’m sure there are some younger people who would be better suited...” he made a helpless gesture.

“I can’t believe this.” She was pulverizing the sponge now, choking it, probably imagining it was his neck.

He pushed on, driving her further away. “Talking about me is one thing; I’m used to it. Talking about you because of me...well, that’s another matter entirely. It’s no longer only one person’s reputation at stake. I can’t bear it, Belle. Us not seeing each other anymore...it’s the only way I can protect your reputation.”

He turned around and faced the door again. There was a long, tense silence, and he could feel the sad weight of her stare.

“Protect yourself, you mean, don’t you?” she retorted, her voice choked with tears.

He heard the splash of the sponge in the bucket and he hung his head in shame. He’d gotten what he wanted, though. She was leaving.

The only sound he could remember for the rest of the evening was the clatter of her heels down the steps and out of his life.

###

[feysandfeels]

Top “Ten” Books 2017

So yesterday I completed my goodreads goal of reading 50 books during the year and I thought it would be a good idea for me to make a top “ten” books. Who knows? perhaps you’re thinking about picking one of these up but you are not so sure. 

Oh and when I say “ten” what I mean is, some series or books by the same author will be put into the same slot… so they will clearly be more than “ten” books. You guys know I can never choose just one thing.

1. I’ll Give You The Sun - Jandy Nelson. #NoahAndJudeForever. Family is important but it’s more important that you find peace with the past.

2. The Sun Is Also A Star - Nicola Yoon. I invite you to believe there’s still good in the world, I invite you to believe in love, destiny and the universe. I am so grateful for this book, it reminded me of some parts of myself that I had lost during the past years, while also maintaining a good and critical commentary of today’s society.

3. Harry Potter - J.K.Rowling. This series proves, proves to everyone that “children books” does not mean that there is no depth or interesting political positions. J.K. Rowling, I am in awe of you! They are all exceptionally good and so entertaining (duh) but here is my current order:

Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince: GIVE.ME.ALL.THE.DRAMA.

Harry Potter and the Deahtly Hallows: Payoffs, so. many. payoffs!

Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone: This is not a happy book, my boy Harry has been abused over and over, but his heart of gold pushes through.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Sirius my sweet!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Cedric Diggory is a victim of “wrong place wrong time”.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Sirius’s death is worse than in the movie! But also.. Luna Lovegood is the one true queen.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: THE WEASLEYS ARE EVERYTHING!

4. The Sarah J. Mass books: I loved them all and I will forever praise her writing and defend this books as more than “hot fae meets feisty heroine”.

Tower of Dawn: I was not a huge Chaol fan, but his arc overall the series is one of the most realistic out there, making him a coherent character and a very believable person. This book is basically what happens when you say “Chaol deserved better”, well let me tell you he got “better”! Making a great effort to include more representation the most natural way possible (as it should be) this book is as good, as its predecesor expanding the world and deepening the story. #NestaqMyLoves #YreneTowersIsLife.

A Court of Wings and Ruin: Feyre Darling, you are my number one girl. I loved this book and I thought it was really really good. It had it’s flaws (as do all books), and at certain points I wished for other outcomes. Nonetheless it works as an amazing bridge between old plotlines and new ones. I get the feeling that this book sets the ground for coming payoffs. Female at positions of power, NUANCED characters with bad moments as well as good ones, and a great political position (if you missed Rhy’s immigrant statement or Cassian’s rape analogy then I urge you to read it again). ACOWAR is more than people give it credit for and it’s a good political statement on many things… but it did screwed over Mor -although I feel this will payoff at the end and she will be very happy-.

Empire of Storms: I am still recovering.. (if you have nothing else to do and want to see the process of how my heart shattered then you can read my reaction thread here)

5. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte. Here comes Jane redefining what badass means since the 19th century. This books has everything you need! I mean, it’s classic for a reason. But the language! The use of the language is so well executed that it reads like a novel that has 20 years tops. Bronte is a genius. How she managed to do that, I will never know. She had her way with words.

6. All The Light We Cannot See - Anthony Doerr. Being a book about WWII, I knew it was going to hurt, but oh what a thrilling ride this was! The structure of the narrative, the characters, the story: everything was on point!. #WorstPlotTwistOfTheYear

7. Leigh Bardugo: Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom. THESE BOOKS! I URGE YOU I URGE YOU TO READ THEM! This duology brings some of the best characters literature in general – not just Y.A– has seen. I think this is a perfect example of good representation. The only thing missing was a Latino-Latina character, but I still feel this was a diverse cast and I could find myself in different traits of each character. I love this books more than words could express and I hope and wish that Leigh will continue to spend time in this world with them. I just want more of The Dregs. 

8. A Darker Shade of Magic - V. E. Schwab. Now this is a world I am excited to be a part of! You know when you read a book and you feel that you’re scratching just the surface, the tip of the iceberg? well this was that book for me. As its own I’m sure this novel stands on it’s own and you could read it and leave it at that, but I you just know there is more and more. This is the perfect example of a literary synecdoche, in which a part represents to the whole, but it still a part. Meaning that it can be on it’s own or it can be a part of the bigger narrative. I am eagerly waiting for the second installment to arrive (to my house).

9. Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions- BY MY LOVE Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. “Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.”. If you have trouble understanding feminism please read this, along with her “we should all be feminist TED talk”. If you like to know more about this ideology and how it applies to society nowadays then read it. Chimamanda is one of the greatest voices to explain what it is all about and how we can contribute towards an egalitarian society, Besides is like 100 pages long… so there’s no excuse.

10. Strange The Dreamer - Laini Taylor. Basically it’s Atlantis more developed. I loved Lazlo and I loved Sarai. This is a story unlike any other, in which words come to live and you feel the characters within you. 

Honorary mentions:

11. Rupi Kaur: Milk and Honey and The Sun and Her Flowers. She articulated my thoughts and gave them life. More than considering it poetry, although some of her texts are beautiful poems, I think of them more of aphorisms or thoughts. It helps when you can see your pain voiced by other, it helps you realize things and then it helps you move forward.

12. Atonement - Ian McEwan. GOD BRIONY! I loved this book and I owe it a lot since my dissertation worked because of it. McEwan is great when exploring characters and in going against the common idea that children are nothing if not innocent. Every action has it’s consequence and we should always keep this in mind. #RobbieDeservedBetter #CeciliaTallisQueenOfMyHeart.

[shepherds-of-haven]

If MC didn’t have any preference, how kids would the ROs want?

Hi there, I'm 99.99% sure I've answered this before, but since I can't find it, here you go (if anyone can find the previous ask, I'll give you high-five lol)! This is in a hypothetical scenario assuming that all ROs would want kids if MC didn't have a preference, which some of them don't unless MC really wants to! It's basically just a very loose answer and not meant to be taken as canonical or set in stone :)

Blade: 1-2 kids would be his preference!

Trouble: he wants a big family, so 3-5 kids would be ideal for him!

Tallys: it wouldn't be surprising if she only had 1 child; at a maximum 2, but 2 would probably be quite unlikely!

Shery: 1-3 would be her preference, with 3 being her absolute max! But I don't think she has a preference between 1-3!

Riel: 1, if any at all

Chase: 1-3 would be his max, with 1 being the likeliest, but 2 not being out of the realm of possibility!

Red: he always envisioned 2-4 and that would be his ideal range, though he'd be happy with an only child or 5 kids as well, he's quite flexible!

Ayla: She'd prefer 5-6! 🥰 She wants a really big family!

Briony: she envisions 1-2, with two being her preference--she would also be happy with 3 kids but wouldn't actively plan on it, so baby #3 would likely be an accident!

Lavinet: She'd be equally happy with an only child, 2 children, 3, or 4, she hasn't really thought too much about it so she doesn't really have a strict preference, but 4 would probably be her max!

Halek: I'm not sure what his preference for children would be (1-3 sounds right) but I can't imagine a reality in which he doesn't end up having twins at some point 😂

[rcsefire]

TASK 003: FACT OF BEING ( * EVENT 002, THE LAND OF TELLUS !

there’s no difference between the HUNTER and the hunted ; were all searching for the same victim to call home.

and we end up chasing the same bloody demons in circles again

                                                                                                  and again

                                                                                                                        and AGAIN..

GENERAL ;

NAME.  brioni sinclair. AGE.  twenty five. ALLEGIANCE.  house of calx. OCCUPATION.  healer. MARITAL STATUS.  married. * brioni vc * he ded i think  FACECLAIM.  sarah bolger.

THE STORY ;

she was the result of an arranged marriage between a highborn lord & lady ; a welcomed surprise. they had hoped for a SON but was there really a difference? their daughter was all rambunctiousness & trouble, already proving to have a stubborn streak by the time she was four. her father, a physician in calx sought for his extensive skills with healing, doted on his eldest. even by the time his second & third daughter came along throughout the next decade, there was always a closer bond between him and his eldest. brioni idolized him all the same, idolized the way he saved lives, idolized the way he accepted his daughter for her rougher edges, while her mother wanting to teach their eldest everything a lady should know --- how to sit pretty, how to speak multiple languages, how to weave & sew, how to be a wife --- brioni frowned on them all ( for one, she didn’t understand why women got the tighter leash. ) by the time she was twelve she was already accompanying her father across the country to assist him with his patients.  

as the eldest daughter, she had a responsibility to support her line, and most importantly, support her younger sisters & help with their own marriages. this, was something she accepted. MARRIAGE was something she was fine with --- love? now that was the issue. at sixteen the offer came from a lord within calx, which was fine by her, she wanted to be closer to her sisters & an arranged marriage is better than none at all. she didn’t suspect seeing him would magically make her fall in love with her future husband -- in fact, she would prefer if feelings weren’t involved at all. at seventeen she married, and met her husband elric on their wedding day ; the best thing about elric? he didn’t care about her either. the worst thing about elric? he enjoyed the thrill of a good argument. brioni and elric were and weren’t a good match for that reason, they both knew exactly how to bother the other -- but they both were completely honest in their relationship due to their opinions never being placed behind walls or closed doors. brioni grew to be fond of her husband slowly, and she likes to think he was fond of her too ; parents from both sides pushed for them to conceive a child by the end of that year, and they tried with no avail. brioni was blamed, because the woman is easier to blame, and a feud began between the parents of the two families ---- the wife elric received was incapable of carrying a child was the accusation. a broken woman ; a defected purchase. 

it drove a wedge between the marriage, whatever fondness had formed slowly disintegrated. the household was tense, brioni began losing trust in her husband once she suspected his mother wanted him to remarry. she didn’t try to fix the patches, it was a waste of time ---- and a few months following? she’d barely give her husband a glance. brioni’s father passed the year of her twenty first name day, and even elric noticed the shift within his wife. she was no longer witty, no longer entertaining to him like she was before. as a husband, he supported her, attempted to comfort her. but she pushed away every advance. in her mourning, she decided two things. one, she was unhappy in her marriage & if elric wanted to remarry to someone younger, prettier or more fruitful, she wouldn’t put up a fight. and two, she would help others the way her father did. she didn’t expect the former to be more difficult than the latter, elric apparently loved her & wanted to rekindle their marriage despite her protests & constant cold shoulders. and despite her troubles within her home, brioni gained more medical knowledge and eventually became a healer for the public.  

a wife's role ( even one who neglects her duties already. ) includes not leaving her husband’s side. but brioni traveled for weeks, sometimes even over a month at a time. it’s a trip that had taken just under three weeks that she returns from when she finds her husband ill, her mother & sister too. she attempts to cure them as best as she could with the knowledge she had but they grow worse --- eventually progressing into a hunger for blood & malice, just like all the other victims of the diseased. with this, brioni is forced to retreat with her youngest sister aviella with the rest of the calx towards the holy city of castus. 

WANTED PLOTS ;

( * WITH OUR HEALING HANDS. ❜ ---- ( tbh someone who needs a mentor in all this medical stuff ? or idk even someone who has med experience already and wants brioni to lend a hand or s/t. let brioni help u, , ,this is probably the only au where she is NICE. ( OPEN !  

( * CLEANING THE BLOOD OFF YOUR CHEEK. ❜ ---- ( someone who is already getting roughed up ig?? who brioni always seems to be patching up. whether this is because they’re just constantly getting into trouble or even someone belonging to the military?? ( OPEN !  

( * IF WE DON’T BURN TOGETHER, I BURN ALONE. ❜ ---- ( ride or fuckIN’ DIE. good pals, supportive pals, the ‘ if u touch them i’ll cut off ur hands ’ pals. be her friend pls  ( OPEN !  

( * THE WEIGHT OF WAR IS NOT FOR LADIES. ❜ ---- ( ok so, i want a plot where brioni seeks out someone to teach her fighting stuff?? they probably didn’t approve because she is a woman but she convinced them because she would literally not Shut Up about it until they said yes. also probably someone with experience involving swords?? or bows & arrows ?? let her use u as her own personal dart board. ( OPEN !  

( * LIKE A SECRET OR A SIN. ❜ ---- ( mmmm. i love torturing briar with romance so I GOTTA’ do it for brioni. brioni still technically thinks her husband to be alive, but she wasn’t happy w/him anyway SO during the meantime? she’s off bumping uglies behind closed doors. the full nature of this one can be up for discussion, whether it’s just the middle age equivalent to a friends with benefits, a crush or a love/hate thing. it would be pretty secretive due to her, , ya’ know, , technically still being married?? but, , , can u hear that?? sounds like the angst train comin’. ( OPEN !  

( * FAMILY DOESN’T END WITH BLOOD. ❜ ---- ( someone from calx or who had visited calx frequently that has been with brioni since the beginning, brioni considers them family. they would have been there for her during her arranged marriage, the difficulties within her marriage, the feud between families and when she became a healer. this person would know her better than anyone, and brioni would have definitely been there for them too. brioni probably trusts this person more than anyone else, which tbh is a big deal !  ( OPEN !  

& anything else ! these are just suggestions, and i’m totally up for anything. love me. 

PLOTS ;  

christiana knoxington --- brioni wants to bang the priestess, god bless

[latter-ace-saint]

GBBO Series 9, Episode 7, “Vegan Week”

When I last blogged about Bake-Off, it was when the series was still current in the UK. However, Channel 4 did an excellent job in stamping out my usual ways of viewing the series, so I let it go. Then, unexpectedly, it was very quickly added to Netflix. However, I was a bit busy, so its only now that I’m getting back to it.

So, last time, I ranked the bakers thusly:

Rahul

Ruby

Jon

Kim-Joy

Briony (star baker)

Manon

Dan (eliminated)

Now, with half the original bakers gone, things really get serious.

It's Vegan Week, and considerably varying levels of enthusiasm for it throughout the tent. Jon is clearly in trouble from the beginning, as his overly ambitious vegan savoury tartlets take up far too much time. Kim-Joy and Rahul make it through without setting a foot wrong.

And the technical challenge is a vegan pavlova, one of the very few technical challenges in recent years that I've actually eaten before. Aquafaba really is an amazing substance. Rahul at the top, Kim-Joy at the bottom, but really, I don't think the gap between first and last in this challenge is all that huge.

As expected, Paul and Prue state that Rahul and Manon are good shape for star baker, while Ruby, Briony and Jon are at the other end.

And the celebration cake challenge is almost a mirror image of the technical challenge, in that very few of the bakers (really only Kim-Joy and Briony) get away without major criticisms. Rahul's and Ruby's cakes fell apart completely, Jon's was nearly there, and the comments about Manon's cake were some of the harshest I've ever heard on GBBO.

In the final deliberation, Kim-Joy and Rahul are up for star baker, and Ruby and Jon up for elimination. Though really, I think they just named a second name in each case for the drama of it all, it's going to be Kim-Joy and Jon.

And of course it is.

Jon has been very inconsistent, but his bad weeks have usually featured several other bakers having even worse ones. But at this point in the show, there are fewer other bakers to hide behind. I liked him on the show, he seemed a good salt-of-the-earth type, but when you have to go, you have to go.

Kim-Joy, on the other hand, is becoming one of the more consistent bakers, her trouble in the technical aside. And she’s just an adorable ball of sunshine.

My revised power rankings:

Rahul

Kim-Joy (up 1, star baker)

Briony (up 2)

Ruby (down 2)

Manon (up 1)

Jon (down 3, eliminated)

At this point, with three weeks to go, it looks like Rahul and Kim-Joy are likely finalists. Briony, Ruby, and Manon have had good weeks and terrible weeks, and whichever of them manages to go to the finals is not, at this point in time, up to Rahul and Kim-Joy’s level.

[anchorarcade]

How Congress plays by different rules on sexual harassment and misconduct

http://ryanguillory.com/how-congress-plays-by-different-rules-on-sexual-harassment-and-misconduct/

How Congress plays by different rules on sexual harassment and misconduct

Briony Whitehouse was a 19-year-old intern in 2003 when she boarded an elevator in the Russell Senate Office Building with a Republican senator, who she said groped her until the doors reopened. 

She never reported the incident to her bosses for fear of jeopardizing her career. But she recently tweeted about her experience on Twitter as part of the “#MeToo” campaign, a social-media phenomenon that has aired thousands of complaints about unwanted sexual harassment.

Some of the accounts have called out by name Hollywood moguls, media stars, even a former U.S. president. Other women such as Whitehouse have stopped short of naming harassers. Whitehouse in an interview last week with The Washington Post declined to name the politician who made unwanted advances, convinced that he would retaliate. 

“At the time, I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing at all,” said Whitehouse, who works overseas as a political consultant. “Because this happened so early on for me, I just assumed this was the way things worked and that I’d have to accept it.” 

If Whitehouse had chosen to pursue a complaint against the senator, she would have discovered a process unlike other parts of the federal government or much of the private sector. Her complaint likely would have been thrown out because interns have limited harassment protections under the unique employment law that Congress applies to itself.

Congress makes its own rules about the handling of sexual complaints against members and staff, passing laws exempting it from practices that apply to other employers.

The result is a culture in which some lawmakers suspect harassment is rampant. Yet victims are unlikely to come forward, according to attorneys who represent them.     

Under a law in place since 1995, accusers may file lawsuits only if they first agree to go through months of counseling and mediation. A special congressional office is charged with trying to resolve the cases out of court.

When settlements do occur, members do not pay them from their own office funds, a requirement in other federal agencies. Instead, the confidential payments come out of a special U.S. Treasury fund.

Congressional employees have received small settlements compared to the amounts some public figures pay out. Between 1997 and 2014, the U.S. Treasury has paid $15.2 million in 235 awards and settlements for Capitol Hill workplace violations, according to the congressional Office of Compliance. The statistics do not break down the exact nature of the violations.    

Like Hollywood, where allegations against movie producer Harvey Weinstein touched off the recent #MeToo campaign, the Capitol Hill environment is dominated by powerful men who can make or break careers. Congress has resisted efforts that could improve the culture such as making anti-harassment training mandatory in their offices.

“It is not a victim-friendly process. It is an institution-protection process,” said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.), who has unsuccessfully pushed to overhaul how harassment cases are handled. “I think we would find that sexual harassment is rampant in the institution. But no one wants to know, because they’d have to do something about it.” 

Troubling stories

Whitehouse was among thousands of women who shared stories of sexual harassment and assault online after the Weinstein allegations grabbed global attention. 

Ally Coll Steele, a Washington lawyer, shared her story about a former Democratic senator grabbing her buttocks at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. She was an 18-year-old intern, and the senator’s wife and staff were standing nearby. 

“I was in the position of having no choice but reacting in a way that was going to make a big deal out of it in front his staff or his wife, or acting like nothing was happening. I chose the latter,” Steele said. 

People she told about the incident said they were sorry it happened but not surprised, she recalled. Her colleagues had described the former senator as “handsy.” 

One former Senate staffer, speaking on condition of anonymity out of fear of reprisals, said she was repeatedly groped at work events by a younger and more junior male staff member. 

“He would just grab me,” she said. “It happened multiple times. The worst part was my other male colleagues would excuse it. He stayed on Capitol Hill for years.” 

Another former staffer described interning on the Hill at 16 while attending a local high school. The office’s legislative director, a married man in his 40s, began paying attention to her in ways that became increasingly uncomfortable: adding her on AOL Instant Messenger, offering her rides home, saying she resembled his college girlfriend, and ultimately suggesting he pick her up from school so they could have lunch. 

While the man never touched her or made overtly sexual comments, the former staffer said his attention was inappropriate. 

“What 40-something man is taking a 16-year-old woman out to lunch?” she said. 

Power culture

Capitol Hill has long been known as a demanding workplace for young people, trying to make a mark in an adrenaline-fueled Washington power center. Work duties often require personal interactions with members and high-ranking staffers, and success requires that employees demonstrate personal loyalty, political solidarity and professional rapport with colleagues and superiors.

Making claims of harassment or inappropriate advances come at high risk.

“There is a sense that going forward with an allegation like this would be completely the end of any career working for anybody on the Hill — and it undoubtedly would be,” said Debra Katz, an employment attorney in Washington who represents congressional aides in sexual harassment cases.

“We have no doubt that sexual harassment is underreported in Congress, just as all workplace infractions are underreported in Congress,” said Brad Fitch, president and chief executive of the Congressional Management Foundation, a nonprofit organization that helps lawmakers and staff learn to run their offices.

When cases do emerge, they can attract years of unwanted attention, another disincentive for reporting, attorneys say.  

Sex scandals involving current and former lawmakers have been infrequent but steady. A count by The Post shows at least a dozen members have resigned or chosen not to seek reelection in the last 15 years due to extramarital affairs, inappropriate contact online and other sexual misbehavior.  

Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) resigned in 2006 after sending sexually explicit online messages to teenage current and former male House pages. The popular House program was eventually disbanded. At the time, Foley apologized “for the conduct that it was alleged that I did.” He did not respond to a request for comment. 

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) stepped down in 2010 amid allegations that he had groped and tickled male staffers. At the time, Massa said his actions were not sexual. James D. Doyle, Massa’s attorney, said federal investigations have not found the former congressman “committed any wrongdoing whatsoever.”

In 2015, Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Texas) settled a sexual harassment charge brought by his former communications director Lauren Greene, who said he made inappropriate comments “designed to gauge whether [she] was interested in a sexual relationship,” according to her legal complaint. Farenthold denied wrongdoing.

Greene filed the lawsuit after participating in counseling and mediation. Neither she nor Farenthold’s office responded to requests for comment. 

Cases involving high-ranking congressional staffers get far less notice. Female staffers in the office of Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) alleged former chief of staff Kenny West behaved inappropriately toward women. One former female staffer interviewed by the Office of Congressional Ethics said West would play with women’s hair and try to look down their shirts, according to an interview transcript. West was moved into an advisory position before he left Meadows’s office permanently.

West denied inappropriate behavior and said the allegations have hurt him professionally. He said he is “old-fashioned” and the situation could best be described as a misunderstanding between him and female aides. 

“There was never any sexual harassment and had there been any by anyone, the congressman, Mrs. Meadows, myself and my wife — we would not tolerate it,” he said in an interview.

Meadows’s office did not respond to a request for comment.

Katz said women who are harassed in congressional jobs contact her every few months to learn about their rights.

“We’ve worked with a number of women who, after these experiences, stopped working on Capitol Hill,” Katz said. “They were done. They felt so betrayed.” 

Tangled process

Victims who do seek action face a confusing process under a law known as the Congressional Accountability Act that was put in place in 1995. Sponsored by Sen. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa), it imposed a range of civil rights, labor and worker-safety laws on Capitol Hill for the first time.

A scandal involving Sen. Robert Packwood (R-Ore.) and multiple women accusers led to his 1995 resignation and to debate over which labor protections should apply to Congress. Packwood first denied the allegations, but later apologized. 

Following the Packwood allegations, a 1993 survey by The Post showed that one-third of female congressional employees responding said they were sexually harassed by members, supervisors, lobbyists or fellow aides.

Grassley’s bill established the 20-person Office of Compliance to adjudicate disputes and handle harassment complaints.

The law gives victims 180 days after the offending incident to initiate complaints. Victims must agree to go through counseling, which take typically takes 30 days. 

After that, victims who want to continue begin 30 days of mediation, which is handled by a neutral mediator. If the problem is still unresolved, they can pursue an OOC administrative hearing or file a federal lawsuit against their harasser. 

The confidential dispute resolution process can be made public only if the case is ruled in the victim’s favor, after it goes through administrative or judicial proceedings.  

The OOC contends that its process has helped resolve “scores of employee disputes” and benefits all sides.

Some advocates believe the pre-lawsuit mediation requirement undercuts victims. The rule contrasts sharply with the rest of the federal government, where mediation is an option but not mandatory for employees to pursue legal action. 

Few staffers seem aware of their rights or the harassment reporting process.  

“A lot of people are confused about it. We’ll get calls from people who work down on the Hill, and they’re not all that clear as to what they should be doing,” said Alan Lescht, an employment attorney in Washington who handles harassment cases involving federal and congressional employees.

The only mandatory training for congressional employees is an ethics program put into place after the 2006 Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal and instruction on cybersecurity. The lack of mandatory anti-harassment training places Congress out of step with the majority of the private sector, according to human-resources experts.

The OOC sends newsletters and regular emails urging chiefs of staff to prioritize staff training and describing how to access resources online. While the office oversees tens of thousands of employees, only about 800 people since 2015 have taken its 20-minute online tutorial on preventing sexual harassment.

Some congressional leaders have been questioned about the culture on Capitol Hill amid a national outcry over allegations of serial harassment by Weinstein.

Grassley told The Post this week that if the law is not effectively accomplishing sexual harassment prevention and anti-discriminatory training, “then it should be revisited.” 

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said members need to take responsibility for anti-harassment training in their own offices. A 2014 effort led by Speier to make training mandatory was defeated, but Pelosi told The Post she supports Speier’s efforts. On Thursday, Rep. Brenda Lawrence (D-Mich.) introduced a bill to require sexual-harassment training. 

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), who has spoken about her own experience with sexual harassment in Congress, said she supports mandatory sexual harassment training for every member of Congress and their staff. 

House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) recently said that it would be “naive” to suggest sexual harassment doesn’t happen on Capitol Hill, and that current systems can always be improved. His office declined to offer more details. 

“I do believe that exposing these things can help improve the culture,” Ryan said in an interview on MSNBC. “The more you expose it and the more we can castigate people in society on these things to show that this is not acceptable behavior, I think that’s to the good.” 

Speier said members need to be held more accountable. “It’s an embarrassment,” she said, “and we’ve got to fix it.”

Alice Crites, Kimberly Kindy and Michael Scherer contributed to this report.  

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[awesomefelicitylewis-blog]

How Congress plays by different rules on sexual harassment and misconduct

http://ryanguillory.com/how-congress-plays-by-different-rules-on-sexual-harassment-and-misconduct/

How Congress plays by different rules on sexual harassment and misconduct

Briony Whitehouse was a 19-year-old intern in 2003 when she boarded an elevator in the Russell Senate Office Building with a Republican senator, who she said groped her until the doors reopened. 

She never reported the incident to her bosses for fear of jeopardizing her career. But she recently tweeted about her experience on Twitter as part of the “#MeToo” campaign, a social-media phenomenon that has aired thousands of complaints about unwanted sexual harassment.

Some of the accounts have called out by name Hollywood moguls, media stars, even a former U.S. president. Other women such as Whitehouse have stopped short of naming harassers. Whitehouse in an interview last week with The Washington Post declined to name the politician who made unwanted advances, convinced that he would retaliate. 

“At the time, I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing at all,” said Whitehouse, who works overseas as a political consultant. “Because this happened so early on for me, I just assumed this was the way things worked and that I’d have to accept it.” 

If Whitehouse had chosen to pursue a complaint against the senator, she would have discovered a process unlike other parts of the federal government or much of the private sector. Her complaint likely would have been thrown out because interns have limited harassment protections under the unique employment law that Congress applies to itself.

Congress makes its own rules about the handling of sexual complaints against members and staff, passing laws exempting it from practices that apply to other employers.

The result is a culture in which some lawmakers suspect harassment is rampant. Yet victims are unlikely to come forward, according to attorneys who represent them.     

Under a law in place since 1995, accusers may file lawsuits only if they first agree to go through months of counseling and mediation. A special congressional office is charged with trying to resolve the cases out of court.

When settlements do occur, members do not pay them from their own office funds, a requirement in other federal agencies. Instead, the confidential payments come out of a special U.S. Treasury fund.

Congressional employees have received small settlements compared to the amounts some public figures pay out. Between 1997 and 2014, the U.S. Treasury has paid $15.2 million in 235 awards and settlements for Capitol Hill workplace violations, according to the congressional Office of Compliance. The statistics do not break down the exact nature of the violations.    

Like Hollywood, where allegations against movie producer Harvey Weinstein touched off the recent #MeToo campaign, the Capitol Hill environment is dominated by powerful men who can make or break careers. Congress has resisted efforts that could improve the culture such as making anti-harassment training mandatory in their offices.

“It is not a victim-friendly process. It is an institution-protection process,” said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.), who has unsuccessfully pushed to overhaul how harassment cases are handled. “I think we would find that sexual harassment is rampant in the institution. But no one wants to know, because they’d have to do something about it.” 

Troubling stories

Whitehouse was among thousands of women who shared stories of sexual harassment and assault online after the Weinstein allegations grabbed global attention. 

Ally Coll Steele, a Washington lawyer, shared her story about a former Democratic senator grabbing her buttocks at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. She was an 18-year-old intern, and the senator’s wife and staff were standing nearby. 

“I was in the position of having no choice but reacting in a way that was going to make a big deal out of it in front his staff or his wife, or acting like nothing was happening. I chose the latter,” Steele said. 

People she told about the incident said they were sorry it happened but not surprised, she recalled. Her colleagues had described the former senator as “handsy.” 

One former Senate staffer, speaking on condition of anonymity out of fear of reprisals, said she was repeatedly groped at work events by a younger and more junior male staff member. 

“He would just grab me,” she said. “It happened multiple times. The worst part was my other male colleagues would excuse it. He stayed on Capitol Hill for years.” 

Another former staffer described interning on the Hill at 16 while attending a local high school. The office’s legislative director, a married man in his 40s, began paying attention to her in ways that became increasingly uncomfortable: adding her on AOL Instant Messenger, offering her rides home, saying she resembled his college girlfriend, and ultimately suggesting he pick her up from school so they could have lunch. 

While the man never touched her or made overtly sexual comments, the former staffer said his attention was inappropriate. 

“What 40-something man is taking a 16-year-old woman out to lunch?” she said. 

Power culture

Capitol Hill has long been known as a demanding workplace for young people, trying to make a mark in an adrenaline-fueled Washington power center. Work duties often require personal interactions with members and high-ranking staffers, and success requires that employees demonstrate personal loyalty, political solidarity and professional rapport with colleagues and superiors.

Making claims of harassment or inappropriate advances come at high risk.

“There is a sense that going forward with an allegation like this would be completely the end of any career working for anybody on the Hill — and it undoubtedly would be,” said Debra Katz, an employment attorney in Washington who represents congressional aides in sexual harassment cases.

“We have no doubt that sexual harassment is underreported in Congress, just as all workplace infractions are underreported in Congress,” said Brad Fitch, president and chief executive of the Congressional Management Foundation, a nonprofit organization that helps lawmakers and staff learn to run their offices.

When cases do emerge, they can attract years of unwanted attention, another disincentive for reporting, attorneys say.  

Sex scandals involving current and former lawmakers have been infrequent but steady. A count by The Post shows at least a dozen members have resigned or chosen not to seek reelection in the last 15 years due to extramarital affairs, inappropriate contact online and other sexual misbehavior.  

Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) resigned in 2006 after sending sexually explicit online messages to teenage current and former male House pages. The popular House program was eventually disbanded. At the time, Foley apologized “for the conduct that it was alleged that I did.” He did not respond to a request for comment. 

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) stepped down in 2010 amid allegations that he had groped and tickled male staffers. At the time, Massa said his actions were not sexual. James D. Doyle, Massa’s attorney, said federal investigations have not found the former congressman “committed any wrongdoing whatsoever.”

In 2015, Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Texas) settled a sexual harassment charge brought by his former communications director Lauren Greene, who said he made inappropriate comments “designed to gauge whether [she] was interested in a sexual relationship,” according to her legal complaint. Farenthold denied wrongdoing.

Greene filed the lawsuit after participating in counseling and mediation. Neither she nor Farenthold’s office responded to requests for comment. 

Cases involving high-ranking congressional staffers get far less notice. Female staffers in the office of Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) alleged former chief of staff Kenny West behaved inappropriately toward women. One former female staffer interviewed by the Office of Congressional Ethics said West would play with women’s hair and try to look down their shirts, according to an interview transcript. West was moved into an advisory position before he left Meadows’s office permanently.

West denied inappropriate behavior and said the allegations have hurt him professionally. He said he is “old-fashioned” and the situation could best be described as a misunderstanding between him and female aides. 

“There was never any sexual harassment and had there been any by anyone, the congressman, Mrs. Meadows, myself and my wife — we would not tolerate it,” he said in an interview.

Meadows’s office did not respond to a request for comment.

Katz said women who are harassed in congressional jobs contact her every few months to learn about their rights.

“We’ve worked with a number of women who, after these experiences, stopped working on Capitol Hill,” Katz said. “They were done. They felt so betrayed.” 

Tangled process

Victims who do seek action face a confusing process under a law known as the Congressional Accountability Act that was put in place in 1995. Sponsored by Sen. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa), it imposed a range of civil rights, labor and worker-safety laws on Capitol Hill for the first time.

A scandal involving Sen. Robert Packwood (R-Ore.) and multiple women accusers led to his 1995 resignation and to debate over which labor protections should apply to Congress. Packwood first denied the allegations, but later apologized. 

Following the Packwood allegations, a 1993 survey by The Post showed that one-third of female congressional employees responding said they were sexually harassed by members, supervisors, lobbyists or fellow aides.

Grassley’s bill established the 20-person Office of Compliance to adjudicate disputes and handle harassment complaints.

The law gives victims 180 days after the offending incident to initiate complaints. Victims must agree to go through counseling, which take typically takes 30 days. 

After that, victims who want to continue begin 30 days of mediation, which is handled by a neutral mediator. If the problem is still unresolved, they can pursue an OOC administrative hearing or file a federal lawsuit against their harasser. 

The confidential dispute resolution process can be made public only if the case is ruled in the victim’s favor, after it goes through administrative or judicial proceedings.  

The OOC contends that its process has helped resolve “scores of employee disputes” and benefits all sides.

Some advocates believe the pre-lawsuit mediation requirement undercuts victims. The rule contrasts sharply with the rest of the federal government, where mediation is an option but not mandatory for employees to pursue legal action. 

Few staffers seem aware of their rights or the harassment reporting process.  

“A lot of people are confused about it. We’ll get calls from people who work down on the Hill, and they’re not all that clear as to what they should be doing,” said Alan Lescht, an employment attorney in Washington who handles harassment cases involving federal and congressional employees.

The only mandatory training for congressional employees is an ethics program put into place after the 2006 Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal and instruction on cybersecurity. The lack of mandatory anti-harassment training places Congress out of step with the majority of the private sector, according to human-resources experts.

The OOC sends newsletters and regular emails urging chiefs of staff to prioritize staff training and describing how to access resources online. While the office oversees tens of thousands of employees, only about 800 people since 2015 have taken its 20-minute online tutorial on preventing sexual harassment.

Some congressional leaders have been questioned about the culture on Capitol Hill amid a national outcry over allegations of serial harassment by Weinstein.

Grassley told The Post this week that if the law is not effectively accomplishing sexual harassment prevention and anti-discriminatory training, “then it should be revisited.” 

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said members need to take responsibility for anti-harassment training in their own offices. A 2014 effort led by Speier to make training mandatory was defeated, but Pelosi told The Post she supports Speier’s efforts. On Thursday, Rep. Brenda Lawrence (D-Mich.) introduced a bill to require sexual-harassment training. 

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), who has spoken about her own experience with sexual harassment in Congress, said she supports mandatory sexual harassment training for every member of Congress and their staff. 

House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) recently said that it would be “naive” to suggest sexual harassment doesn’t happen on Capitol Hill, and that current systems can always be improved. His office declined to offer more details. 

“I do believe that exposing these things can help improve the culture,” Ryan said in an interview on MSNBC. “The more you expose it and the more we can castigate people in society on these things to show that this is not acceptable behavior, I think that’s to the good.” 

Speier said members need to be held more accountable. “It’s an embarrassment,” she said, “and we’ve got to fix it.”

Alice Crites, Kimberly Kindy and Michael Scherer contributed to this report.  

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