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zweiginator · 2 years ago

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filthy f*cking rich--part three

hey! here is part three; i made it quite a bit longer, as it’s more of a build up chapter + i have a wild couple of weeks coming up, so im not certain i’ll have time to write a lot! i hope you enjoy, and please don’t forget to give me feedback; i love reading your thoughts for motivation!

Synopsis: Filled with guilt about what happened, you debate telling Rava, but don’t want to ruin everything you’ve built. But you’re certain it will never happen again, so what’s the harm in leaving out the truth?

Word Count: 5.1k

Warning: Mention of drugs/alcohol, very tiny allusion to SA if you really squint

What was beautiful about October in New York–the molting trees, chartreuses turning to ochres and the visible metamorphosis from alive to dead–was gone, replaced with the silver sleet of brand new snow, the christening of December in the city. You were cold–freezing, actually–waiting for the subway. It was a Thursday, your least favorite day of the week. The day when every menial, trivial little thing you did each day before began to catch up to you, and you asked yourself: what the fuck am I doing? Waking up at seven, class at eight, and then another, and then another. Picking up Iverson and Sophie from school, pretending you had money, privilege, the comfort of the elite family you were paid to blend into three nights a week. Seeing their life, it made you wonder why the most wealthy always seemed to be the most wracked with unfathomable stress. Was that what made them rich? Was it that seething inability to let go, that primal drive for the top slot, the make-believe ceremony into the glistening one percent?

The job was almost depressing. Depressing, because you liked it so much, and eventually, you had to go back to shitty studio apartments and bugging millenial men at hole-in-the-wall bars for free shots. It was easy; Iverson and Sophie weren’t perfect kids, but they were fun, smart, independent. That fun age where they weren’t indoctrinated into thinking everything was so dumb and embarrassing. And, they were exceptionally excited, curious. Plus, you liked Rava–no, you loved her. She was charming, funny, beautiful, charismatic: the list goes on and on. And on and on if you really thought hard about it. But that was the thing about her. You didn’t have to think hard. You could smoke a cigarette with her in the backyard, you could tell her about boy problems, and she could tell you about failed first dates, and how hard she was trying to make amends with her husband, who she iterated, was her soon to be ex-husband. You were open with her, and she wanted to be more than just the woman who paid your rent and then some.

Which is why you felt bad, arriving at Rava’s apartment that night. It was dark outside but only seven, the time of the year where you felt productivity should be a choice, a two hour obligation at most. You knocked on the door, rubbing your numbed hands together. Your fingers were prickly, but the anxiety in your stomach prickled more, explaining why you hadn’t bothered to eat all day. You had thought that burning, profound guilt in the pit of your gut would have subsided by now, at least a little. But, in fact, it had just gotten worse. Every joke, laugh, hug–everything you shared with Rava was tinged with that bitter tang of betrayal, and it felt disgusting.

Rava answered the door, pushing some dangly earrings into her lobes, long, delicate and gold. You stupidly wondered if Kendall had bought her those.

“Hey, Y/N!” She smiled, ushering you in. “I’m so sorry for taking long, I thought Sophie was answering, I don’t know where she is–fuck, I’m flustered.” She shut the door behind you, slipping the other earring in. “I’m going on a date tonight, I thought why not, you know?”

You bent down, untying your sneakers. “Hey, no judgement. If anything, it’s a free dinner. But I hope it goes well, better than the last one at least.” Kicking off your shoes, you stood up. Rava took your coat, always so hospitable.

“Yeah, no shit. Anything could be better.” She rolled her eyes, big and brown. You knew why Kendall had married her. Fuck. “Speaking of dates, I kind of went on one with Kendall. Last week.”

You tried not to give a reaction. “Oh, shit, Rava, how did that go? Should I be offering my condolences?” You quirked your eyebrows; your interest had been piqued.

“Um, it was interesting. Pretty bad,” She admitted. “Could tell he had snorted a line–or four–before; he practically begged me to come out to dinner with him, talked himself up to me for an hour and then confessed he was still in love with me.”

You were somehow shocked, yet unsurprised. The meaning of mutually exclusive seemed to not exist anymore. “Wow,” You walked with her to the kitchen, where Sophie and Iverson weren’t listening; they were tuned in to their iPads, dead to the world. “I mean, is he wanting to get back together, to scrap the divorce? He seems very unstable, all of this behavior, at least leads to the thought.”

“Unstable doesn’t even scratch the surface, Y/N.” She poured you a glass of water. “Do me a favor, don’t marry a rich guy. It seems fun, but they’re fucking insane. All the money with none of the emotional availability. I swear I never knew what the fuck was happening with him until we split up.” She waited for you to take a sip, lowering her voice. “Yeah, he does want to get back together, actually. I–don’t want the kids to know. It will get their hopes up, and Kendall is kind of fucking infamous for doing that to them–to everybody, actually. I just can’t though.”

“Understandable,” you quipped. It was. “That’s just–I don’t even know what to say.”

“Me neither, I didn’t know what to say. Or do. I just wish he could move on. I want to be friendly, of course, but I can’t deal with the whole wining and dining and acting like I owe him something. He’s barely here, and when he’s here, he’s not here, you know? I just wish he would fuck someone else, get a distraction. Like, I wish I didn’t have to be the bitch anymore.” She was flustered, visibly annoyed by him, by the ordeal, by its effect on her children. She took a sip of tap water. “Listen, I’m sorry for dumping that on you. You’re young, no need to worry about marriage and all that. Seriously, revel in your youth. I’m jealous of you.” And just like that, she shrugged everything away. Off her shoulders, and onto your own. She hadn’t meant it that way, but your back was starting to become sore from carrying the shards of unspoken promises, broken and heavy.

You laughed, trying not to let your anxiety seep through its guilty sound. “You don’t have to tell me twice. But seriously. I think the distraction is good. I don’t know if you feel guilty about the dates, but don’t. You deserve somebody new. A distraction, at least.”

Rava clutched her hand to her chest, bunching her eyebrows together. “Y/N,” She cooed. “So sweet. I seriously am so lucky to have found you. Fate’s mysterious, isn’t it?”

And then she left, huddled under the arm of a tall attorney, blond and smiley, full of laughs that sounded genuine. Kendall would probably despise him.

Resting your head on the kitchen island, you sighed. Rava had sent the kids upstairs to finish their homework, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Thus began the tri-weekly tug-of-war between whether to maintain your innocent, clueless veneer or to tell your boss-slash-friend that her ex-husband-who-stil-loves-her fucked you six weeks ago. Rava was right; fate was mysterious. And in that particular instance, you fucking hated it.

–

At eleven-thirty, the kids were asleep. Probably not, but they were in their rooms, at least. You were on the couch in the living room, working on a final paper, something simple, but time consuming. Feeling a low vibration under your butt, you fumbled to grab your phone.

“Hey,” You answered, opting to put earbuds in to quell the noise. “What’s up?” It was Libby and Amelia.

“I mean nothing, just procrastinating. You at Rava’s?” Amelia asked. You could hear her lighting a cigarette.

“Yeah, she’s on a date. I’ll probably be here ‘til one.” You closed your laptop.

“Long date.” Libby chimed in. “Listen, we are going out tomorrow. You’re fucking going.”

“No, I’m not.” You laughed, running a hand through your hair.

“Dude, why the fuck not?” She groaned.

“I’m tired, for one. I just paid rent, for two.”

“Shut up, Y/N, I know your hourly rate.” Amelia took a drag, stifling a small cough. “No need to be coy about it.”

“Can I say something? ‘Cause Amelia and I have been talking about how fucking weird you have been.”

“Since when? It’s nothing personal, I’m just tired. Once finals–”

“Okay, no.” Amelia interrupted. “Ever since, like, fucking October, you’ve been weird. And we were kind of backtracking to see if it was something regarding us, but we think it was that club.”

“Okay, you’re backtracking now?” You scoffed. “Why are we sleuthing? And what club are you talking about?” Of course, you knew exactly what club. You hadn’t even stepped within a 100 foot radius of a club since that night–a hard feat for living in Manhattan.

“The last time you went out!” Amelia responded, lighting another Camel Crush. “You went home with that rich guy, and we are concerned, is all. Not trying to pry, it just feels like maybe–”

“Maybe what?” You heard a door open upstairs. Getting up, you moved to the bathroom to your left.

“Maybe he–”

“Okay, no. I appreciate your concern, but no. It was good.”

“That’s great, Y/N, and you don’t like, owe us information, but we also think it’s weird you are kind of refusing to tell us anything about it.” Libby added.

“Yeah, I know. I haven’t told you guys anything about it but–” You sighed, turning on the faucet to drown some of the noise out. The thing was, you really shouldn’t tell them. You wanted to. You also didn’t. The best option–the logical option–was to bury it deep down, hope to forget about it, and pray that whatever force of fate which created this depraved dynamic wouldn’t be cruel enough for Kendall to figure out it existed in the first place. But, keeping it locked up felt wrong, and who would your friends tell? They’d never meet Rava, nor Kendall, nor the kids. It had an allure. “Fuck, I can’t.”

“Okay, we really don’t want to pry but now we have to fucking know. So, we’re prying.” Amelia said.

“Drop the mysterious shit right now.” Libby muttered.

“Fuck! Okay!” You needed to tell someone. Any third party. You were surrendering. Your throat was dry, and it felt like a sign for you to keep your mouth shut, to swallow these poisonous words and hope they didn’t fucking kill you. “I have to whisper. Even then, I really shouldn’t.”

“Is it actually that dramatic?” Libby asked.

“Okay, shut up.”

And then you told them. About his finger caked in coke, the flirty remarks and stolen touches at the club. The private driver, the perfect penthouse, the dirty sex, the heavily connoted name. Kendall Roy.

“And?” Libby scoffed.

“And.” You swallowed; there wasn’t a sound on the other lines. “And, my boss. Her name is Rava Roy.”

Both of them gasped simultaneously. “There is no fucking way.”

You shushed them, content on keeping the contents of the call within the safe haven of the downstairs bathroom, hidden in the cranberry candle scented air. “And I don’t need it getting out. To anyone.”

“Okay, well.” Amelia urged.

“Well, what,” You whisper-yelled.

“If you didn’t know that he was their dad and her ex beforehand then obviously he’s not very involved–”

“--Yes, meaning he is a piece of shit, deadbeat dad. And that he’s likely a privileged little slut.”

“--Also meaning, there’s like, no chance he will find out. Or that she will.” Amelia continued. “He was a good fuck; it was a coincidence. You didn’t even know until after the fact.”

Libby interrupted. “Yeah, I mean it would be completely different and fucked if you had known the whole time, but you didn’t so, just a freaky coincidence. Big whoop. It won’t happen again.”

“Yeah, I mean I guess, but do you at least see why I’m freaking the fuck out?” You asked. Realizing the water was still running, you turned off the faucet, pressing an ear to the door to listen for any eavesdropping or the soft padding of socks downstairs. Sophie was keen on midnight snacks.

“Yes,” Libby replied. “Definitely.”

“Plus,” You interjected, leaning your back against the door, assessing that the coast was, in fact, clear. “Rava confides in me and tells me a strange amount about their dynamic. Last week he like, tried to fuck her and confessed he’s still in love with her and that he wants to get back with her.”

“And does she want that?”

“No, but–” you sighed. “I really fucking like this job, and Rava and the kids and the fucking money. And I’m just fucking guilty. And I feel like this means he’s like, wanting to be more present in their lives, which is good, but also sucks because I don’t want to be a bitch, because Sophie and Iverson deserve that but–”

“Okay, Y/N, take a deep breath. It’s okay.” Amelia interjected.

You sighed, taking her advice, holding your breath and counting to ten. “I want him to be better for their sake. But if I’m here three nights a week, and he’s back in their lives consistently, I’m bound to see him eventually.”

You hung up, not wanting to keep thinking it over, not wanting anyone else’s mistaken advice. You could quit, but there were practically no pros on that side of the chart. You would lose your income, have to get a job that required actual labor, and get paid a quarter of your current wage. Plus you would lose touch with Rava, and the kids.

And maybe, just maybe, the tiny little devil on your shoulder was also a little bummed that you would be further removed from Kendall. Because as much as you had thought about him within the context of Rava and your job, and Sophie and Iverson, you also couldn’t stop thinking about the way he kissed you and how the bassy sound of his voice in your ear made your back arch. And that��admitting that little pang of disappointment stemmed from a small crush on Kendall Roy–was what pissed you off the most about the entire situation.

–

Friday night came quickly, and you had forgotten about your ordeal, as you had so endearingly decided to call it, a shorthand for the cause of your biweekly panic attacks and the reason why therapists near me was your most recent Google search. It wasn’t by your own doing; Amelia and Libby had all but forced you to take a few tequila shots with them, a celebration of the weekend and a triumphant end of the fall semester.

“What club are we going to?” You asked, fake gagging as you handed Libby another tequila shot; a smell akin to hand sanitizer and nail polish remover wafted into your nose.

“Not a club,” She responded, slamming the shot back. “We thought it might be a little more wise if we eased you back into things.”

“Ease me back into things? So a bar?” You laughed, holding up two different tops, a silent inquiry as to which one fit better for the occasion.

“Not a bar either,” Amelia pointed to the black one, a low cut and lacy number that was somehow as slutty as it was classy. “Some guy invited us to a party at his ‘big boy house’ as he called it.”

You dropped the shirt onto your bed, confused. “What the fuck?” Pulling your t-shirt off over your head, you turned to face them. “What guy? We are not going to some random guy’s ‘big boy house’.”

“I don’t remember his name. Don’t think he gave it to us.” Amelia shrugged.

“Okay, well that’s somehow the least of my concerns right now.”

Libby shimmied into a tight dress, pulling the straps over her arm. “It’s fine. We can check it out and see how many people are there and dip if it's sketchy. No big deal.”

Amelia shrugged. “We just thought it was a different scene. If you really don’t wanna go–”

“--No, I’ll go. I’m just high strung right now. If this guy holds us hostage in his closet, though, I’m fucking killing you both first.”

“Yeah, fair,” Amelia leaned out your window, smoking a cigarette. The night was cold, the cars on the street more obnoxious than usual, thanks to the taupe sludge which lined the streets and gutters of every corner of the city. “Trust us, though,” She exhaled. “He really does not seem like the type to have it in him.”

“Yeah,” you quipped. “That’s kinda the point–it’s how they always get away with it.”

“Well then, we might as well make the best of it and have fun.” Amelia took a swig of warm pink lemonade; it was the only thing available to chase with.

“Okay, do you want to take the subway or walk? Walking is a little longer, but I’m not sure about the delays.” Libby sat next to you, pointing to where you were going.

“The Upper East Side?” You zoomed in on her screen, sighing. “I guess it’s not, like, horrifically far, but how did you even get in contact with this guy?”

“Coffee shop in the financial district. Libby was on coffee break from her internship.”

“Yeah,” Libby interjected. “I mean, he was telling a lot of people about it. It was weird, but like, we don’t have anything else to do.”

“Yes, it is weird. Very American Psycho.” You pointed to the fastest route, settling on taking the subway to conserve your energy.

“Like we said, we will see. No problem.”

You arrived at the address around one, regretting that your sherpa lined coat wasn’t draped over your shoulders. You had only had to walk a couple minutes from the station, but it was one of those sharp, heavy colds that stung your nose and pricked your skin immediately upon contact.

There was definitely a party; bassy house music seeped through the floor-to-ceiling windows, floating downwards to where you stood. Libby dialed someone on her phone; he was under the name Tall Party Dude.

“Hey,” She said. It seemed he had answered quickly. “Me and my friends are outside. Do I need to buzz, or–”

You could hear through her phone the lively chatter around him. It quickly got shut out by the slam of a door, the padding of clicky footsteps down cement stairs. “Okay, yeah. I’ll just come let you up. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Libby hung up. “See?” She shrugged, alluding to his meek demeanor.

A lanky man opened the front door, sheathed in sweat and a look of pure discomfort. He smiled sheepishly at your group, ushering you into the building. The sound inside was pure, uncontaminated; it was obvious nobody else lived in the building, although there were obviously multiple units housed inside.

“I’m Greg,” He waved, ducking down to climb up the stairs. “The elevators don’t really work right now. Not very accessible of a building, but–”

You all introduced yourselves, taking in the magnitude of the penthouse with a childish awe. The ceilings were massively high, causing the music to float and echo, bouncing off of clean, white walls. There was little furniture inside; it looked like it was barely lived in, a skeleton of a home, just for sleeping, and well, parties, you guessed. It reminded you so clearly of–

“Kendall!” Greg pushed through a small group of boys who looked to be about your age, a flock huddled around the kitchen counter.

Holy fuck. You spun around, searching for refuge: a chair, a place to blend in, the easiest exit, a balcony, even. Amelia and Libby were already smoking a joint with two men who looked to be pushing thirty-five and forty.

You could have left; the door was huge, inviting, and right in front of you. Calling to you. But you knew your friends would get worried and follow you, plus you didn’t want to ruin the night; Libby and Amelia had been over the moon when you finally agreed to coming along. Taking a deep breath, you told yourself–and the tequila-drunk devil on your shoulder–that you weren’t going to talk to him. No, you weren’t even going to look at him.

–

Greg ran a hand through his poorly-gelled hair. He didn’t think it was that poorly done, but Tom was getting fed up being Greg’s version of Mr. Miyagi for business etiquette, so he had promptly given up on the task of fixing Greg’s physical appearance. His dopey-awkward-young-man look would have to suffice, and God, that boy was lucky nepotism existed.

“Hey, Kendall,” Greg cooed, grabbing his wrist. He was after the little paper straw grasped between Kendall’s pointer finger and thumb. “Let’s just go easy tonight.”

Kendall shooed his hand away, pulling his wrist back. “Fuck you, it’s a party. I just fuckin’ gifted you this home. Let me live.” He flicked his baggie of coke, the fine white powder jumping to coat the sides.

“Yes, you’re right. But, like, you’ve already done some tonight, and I just feel like there’s a lot of people you could talk to here. Like, women and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know I’ve done some. Coke, I mean.” Kendall scoffed, cutting three lines with his credit card. It was heavy; the dark chrome shimmered under the dim, overhead lights of the apartment as he moved it languidly. “And now,” He sing-songed. “I will be doing some more!”

“Come on,” Greg attempted to take his sacred paraphernalia, but was quickly blocked by Kendall’s free hand, which slapped him away hurriedly, giving him just enough time to bend down and snort. It felt like a cat fight, like he was seven and being bullied by his much older, brooding brother. “You said you wanted–pussy,” Greg whispered. “I feel like this is a good time to go for that. And maybe to chill. With the drugs.”

Kendall guffawed, using his thumb to wipe the fallen powder from around his flared nostril. “Greg,” He slapped a hand on his shoulder. “I think it would be a better idea if we got you some pussy. You are fuckin’ ridiculous.”

“I don’t know I’m not–”

“Not what?” Kendall leaned forward, taunting. His elbows rested on his knees, sleeves rolled up. His arms were warm; he could feel his heart pulsing through his wrists; it was fast, fluttering, and seemed to coincide with the bass of whatever clubby song was coursing through each chamber of the apartment. “Cousin Greg, do you have something to tell me?” He feigned shock.

“No, I don’t, I just–”

“Greg, there are so many women here. Just, like, look around and–” Kendall gestured to the entirety of the apartment; it was organized like the sea. Schools of people weaved around each other, occupying the kitchen, the foyer, the living room where the two of them now sat, facing each other on pristine white love seats. New, expensive. Kendall’s eyes had scanned everywhere and everyone, and he had landed on who he thought was you, the pretty girl he somehow took home. The one who was profoundly clever, who sported coy smiles and outfits that wouldn’t work on anyone else. He knew it was you without even seeing your face; there was that same force he felt back in October, a hypnotic clarity, a tunnel-vision, leading to where you were leaning, back towards him, the light of your phone a halo, beckoning him to you. Kendall became stoic, determined. “Greg, see that girl in the corner?” He asked.

Greg looked to the corner behind him. “What girl?”

Kendall pushed him to look the other way. “Obviously not the corner without a fucking girl in it.”

“Okay, jeez. Yeah, I do see her.”

Kendall pushed one of his sleeves up. “Go over there. Get her to come over here.”

“Man, why can’t you?” Greg sighed, slouching.

“Because I’m fucking asking you to do it.” Kendall stared at him, unflinching. It was easy, with awkward silence and persistence, to make Greg do whatever he wanted.

“Fuck, fine.” Greg scratched his head, leaning forward. His eyebrows were permanently furrowed, anxiety tattooed in his face. “What do you want me to say to her?”

Kendall didn’t know; there was a lot on his mind. He was hot but also fucking freezing. His nose tingled. His dad hated him, and so did the rest of his family. He wanted to know why you didn’t stay, and he wanted to know why he even cared. And, shallowly, he wanted to fuck you again, fast, slow–he didn’t fucking care. He wanted a lot; that was always the source of his suffering, and why it was so ubiquitous, an infection plaguing every facet of his life, the self-fulfilling prophecy that cycled round and round forever.

He spoke up, realizing the silence had overstayed its welcome. “Um, not sure. You need to learn some fucking game. Just figure it out.”

“But–”

“I swear to God, Greg.”

“Fine.”

He strode over to you quickly; it took him half as many strides as the average person. Not knowing the right course of action, he tapped on your shoulder, making you jump.

“Fuck, you scared me.” You turned your phone off, looking up at the tall stranger whose living room corner you were getting to know so well.

“My bad,” He began. “I just–my friend over there–well, not my friend. My cousin. Slash boss, maybe? He wanted you to come over to him.”

Peering behind him, your expectations matched the man you were looking at. His legs were spread, arms behind his head, eyes closed. Sunken into the love seat, he should have looked at peace, comfortable, at least. Instead, he looked a little bit miserable. Kendall was an enigma; you knew almost everything about his personal life, from Rava, from your obsessive research after making the horrid connection back in October. But you still didn’t understand him. And you didn’t think anybody else did either.

Locking eyes with the tall man–Greg–again, you crossed your arms. “Why can’t he ask me? Plus, I’m not interested.”

“He wants me to develop my skills. Communication skills.”

“Okay, that's pathetic, and not true.”

“Why do you think that?” Greg scratched his neck, a telltale sign of his being uncomfortable.

“I just know that’s not the reason. Call it a hunch.”

“Well,” Greg gestured. “What should I tell him?”

You peered past Greg’s willowy silhouette again. This time Kendall’s eyes were open, and they were stuck on you, large, unwavering. His pupils were heavily dilated; whether it was from lust or cocaine, you couldn’t be certain. Possibly both. Definitely both.

“Tell him,” You began, eyes still on Kendall. “If he wants to talk, he’ll have to come to me himself.”

You knew he had sent Greg over as a buffer; you had practically made a beeline to the street from his penthouse that night. It was abrupt, and you never gave him an explanation. But telling him you were his childrens’ babysitter while he was strung out and you drunk–well, that wasn’t an option.

Greg had already gone back to Kendall. You could see them bickering; Kendall’s eyebrows were woven together, eyes firm on his target: you. Pulling at the top few buttons of his pressed white shirt, Kendall stood up, coming your way.

You had obviously seen him striding towards you, confident from three vodka sodas and sporting that signature look of his— a semi pout paired with his sad, furrowed brows–but you were still surprised when stopped right in front of you, looking confused. As if you owed him a curtsy and a blowjob right then and there.

“Y/N,” He began. It was obvious he didn’t know where he was going with this; rich men are always taken aback when they don’t immediately get their way, and Kendall was no different. He sort of expected you to be the obedient girl you had been in his penthouse that night, wrapped around his fingers, malleable, awaiting any and every command he gave you.

“Yes?” You encouraged.

Kendall backed you against the wall, his palm flush against the wall as he literally cornered you. “I’m just confused, is all.”

“Did I do something confusing? I thought I was clear when I left your place.”

“Clear about what?” He questioned. “It was clear you became uncomfortable and then booked it out of there.”

You pretended to think. “So, your response to that is to literally back me into a wall at a party, where you’re clearly strung out on something?”

Kendall opted to stand next to you, peeling his hand off the exposed brick. “Yeah, point taken.” He agreed. “But, I don’t know.”

“We can’t see each other.” You said. “Is what I was trying to be clear about.”

“Okayyyy–” He bit his lip, tilting his head back to look at the tall ceilings, tinged purple from whatever shitty party lights Greg had bought for the occasion. “But it’s interesting that we ran into each other again.”

You shrugged. “Maybe to you.”

“It is interesting to me.” His pointer finger dragged across your jaw, softly tilting your head to look his way. His eyes were gigantic, behind his pupils were pretty brown irises, tinged in green; the lights in the apartment had changed. “It’s also interesting that you’re still here. If you can’t see me so bad.”

You shrugged, looking down at the floor, your scuffed sneakers.

“Why can’t you see me? Why is that exactly?”

“Why do you want to?”

“I don’t know, actually.” He admitted. “I asked myself the same thing.”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled his collar, bringing him closer. “I think it’s just the drugs and the alcohol and the coincidence that I’m here right now that’s making you feel this way. But trust me, when I leave here tonight, you’ll never see me again.”

That, of course, was extremely unlikely to be true. In fact, you didn’t know why you had said it at all. Each new day you spent babysitting for Rava was a new chance for Kendall to come by to her mossy brownstone, begging for forgiveness, an unnumbered new chance.

“Hm,” He placed his palm on the small of your back, pulling you against him. You could feel his heartbeat against you. “I guess we will just have to see.”

His thumb brushed across your bottom lip, beckoning you to look up at him. He wasn’t holding you tight, and with the movement of the party, the two of you had migrated even closer to the door. To freedom. To the chance to do the right thing.

The devil on your shoulder won, after all, because when Kendall pushed his tongue into your mouth, you moaned with a sense of relief, as if you had been in desperate anticipation of him forever. A part of you, when he grabbed your face to pull you even closer, realized you had been, in a way.

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andagames · 2 years ago

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OM! MC Thoughts (Pt 1)

Recovering from a particularly bad gloomy spell during which Obey Me was one of my very few sources of joy and

had some thoughts about my MC so letsa goooo

Name: I play as "Nagisa" but this one’s "Rei" if I were to write any fanfic...

Age: 24

Charm Points: Sunnily tanned. Gold eyes. Thick, loose, dark curls with one patch of naturally silver hair behind her right ear. Another patch growing on her left side (”i’m not stressed i swear it’s not because i’m stressed no sirree not me”). Mole at the corner of her right eye and on her chin. Glasses: clear frames, circular.

..in one word, gloomy. Easily flustered. Bookish, introverted, but learns to be assertive too. Knows when and where to pick her fights, and the Devildom ain't it.

..read up (more like re-read) as much as possible on angels, demons, heaven, hell, and everything in between when she first arrived in the Devildom. By no means would she call herself an expert though; more like, she can keep up with conversations bc she has prior exposure to said knowledge.

..is absolutely floored that she can verify the existence of demons and angels. Regards both with equal respect, though admittedly:

"There's something more pure, I think, about demons that makes them closer to humans than any of us like to believe. Something primeval... Primordial. They are the aspects we constantly hide, and I think... that's beautiful."

..at the same time, does not believe for a second (especially early on) that any of the brothers harbor genuinely romantic inclinations in their pacts. Truly believes there’s some kind of long-term game going on that will end with her soul being grisly split in 7 directions and her existence purged forever.

..after all, these are the 7 lords of hell. And she's just one nondescript human who's never ever had a significant other. Ever. Crushes, sure. But she’s never had a meaningful romantic relationship.

..so Rei keeps to her studies. Academia takes her away from her loneliness, self-inflicted and otherwise. Learning spells, manipulating magic, further understanding demons and the powers afforded in her pacts lets her focus on concepts far more concrete than her own feelings.

..’cause when this girl crushes, she crushes hard. Like, hearts-in-her-eyes, borderline berserk; how she manages to keep a placid front is a mystery even to her.

..all that said though, during that first meeting with RAD’s student council, she was stars-in-her-eyes dazzled that Mammon had been assigned to her.

“He’s got really pretty eyes. Like... really, pretty eyes. Y’know?”

..And then he opened his big dumb mouth and the outpour of hostility had Rei walking back all of her hopes and dreams and cramming them into a tiny box that she then yeeted into the void.

“No, no, that makes sense. I mean, I’m a human, they’re all demons--top tier celebrity elite demons--and I’m really nothing but emergency rations. Pff, no human has ever looked my way so why should any demon, right?”

..really wants to see the angels’ true forms and secretly believes they’re actually eldritch abominations. Were that true, she’s well aware she’d go insane, and the truth would go with her to the grave.

“But I mean... given no one would care if my brain melted from seeing angel-eldritch-abominations with my naked eye, I’m way more interested in knowing, if only for just one second, if Lovecraft might have been on to something.”

..It’s not until the end of her year abroad that she even starts believing the brothers could really seriously have some kind of affection for her. The situation with Belphegor really set her back in that regard...

..Pact symbols surfaced as a series of connected thin-line tattoos down the underside of her right forearm, in the order she bound them. Starts with Mammon’s sigil at her wrist and ends with Lucifer’s close to her elbow. Definitely felt like a branding every time.

“It was miserable! Like a hot knife carving every stroke of their sigils into my skin--it even got all red and puffy like I really got a tattoo, but you know what...? They prove what I’ve done here and I’m really glad I get to keep them.”

((opinions abt the characters in pt 2!))

#obey me #obey me mc #om mc #i considered putting this on my writing blog #but alas i am not considering writing om fanfic right now #gotta finish my stardew valley project first #as well as my fgo project #and most definitely my original piece #so this is me just rattling off oc ideas into the void

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vivithefolle · 4 years ago

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What are your favourite fanfic tropes/aus for romione?

(I’m gonna try to make my way through old asks I received AGES ago and never answered because I’m a procrastinating lump. Here’s betting I’m going to give up and play videogames all day instead.)

Oh my god, so many.

Okay so as a rule of thumb as long as it’s nice to Ron I’ll read it. I’ll read anything. I have been known to read Ron/Draco and even sacrificed my dignity and everything I stand for as a human being by reading some Ron/Snape stuff. Yes. I was THAT desperate. This is how low I’m willing to go because of sheer love for Ron.

Which means that when a fic will go “oh poor Hermione, poor Hermione who is waiting for Ron to grow up because She can see one day he could be worth it but for now he’s all dumb-dumb and inferior and doesn’t deserve Her perfection :(”, I will be judging. Judging very hard. I may not leave a comment but rest assured, my thoughts are loud enough for me. This is 2010s mentality. This is “haha I’m so like Hermione, not like other girls who throw themselves at boys, I’m so special and girl powery :)” Horribly Bad Feminism. Fuck that. We’re doing better now.

Speaking of doing better. Recently I read something about how Ron is, paraphrased, “the brute of the Trio”, spun in a positive way since he uses his strength to protect them but, but, still... please no? Just no! Just eff no with these takes about how Ron is a hypermasculine dudebro M For Manly™! No, no, fucking no! Just because he’s the Sulfur to Hermione’s Mercury and Sulfur represents the masculine component to Mercury’s feminine one, DOESN’T MEAN Ron is “the brute”! (”the” brute... seriously... who’s the more brutish one, the one who punches a racist in the face or the one who uses a torture curse as retribution for spitting on his fave teacher?)

The way I see him, Ron is a balance, a blend of feminine and masculine qualities intertwined close together. I LOVE that he can swear like a sailor but can only say “scarlet woman” or “cow” when it comes to insulting a woman. Some will probably see it as “hurr durr he sexist he doesnt think women can take it!!!!!!! >8C” but given that those are probably also the peeps who say “HE CALLE D HERMOANI A NIGHTMURRR!!!!!!! DDDDD8″ I’m gonna venture the idea that we don’t care about those folks’ biased, sexist opinions.

Where was I going with this... oh yes! Ok, so Ron can swear like a sailor yet couldn’t insult a girl to save his life. He’s strong physically but most of all he’s strong mentally (to put up with the way his friends treat him for years speaks a lot of his mental fortitude... and to top it off he comes back for more to boot! I’m not sure if that’s more mental fortitude or straight-up masochism though.) When he succeeds at things he gets a bit attention-whoreish but at the same time, you can see that when he’s being complimented he’s all unsure of himself and blushy and shy and you just, dude you can’t handle positive attention because you don’t know how to react to it I don’t know whether that’s adorable or the saddest thing I’ve seen in my life? He’s insecure but he’s always the first to cheer on Harry and Hermione when they’re doing something great, which speaks VOLUMES of Ron’s selflessness and of his actual character: to quote @peetamaellark, Ron doesn’t think “Harry is great, therefore he sucks and I hate him”, he thinks “Harry is great, therefore I suck and I hate me”. THIS is Ron. THIS is why Ron will lash out, not because he hates Harry, but because internally he hates himself and you can’t keep that sort of feeling bottled up for too long before... you got it, you explode.

I. Want. More. Fics where Hermione isn’t this ~oh dear~ Victorian damsel in distress who cries and Ron is the Big Strong Man who holds her with one arm and is stony-faced and goes “I’ll protect you”, please no that was old before it existed, let us have nice, realistic depictions of Ron and Hermione please.

Like, Hermione is more than capable of kicking butt herself. She IS absolutely nervous and scared and cries easily and that’s a vulnerability we NEED, but the fact that she can be super scared and crying but still hex her opponent into oblivion? THAT’s good, THAT’s excellent. It’s a very important message for girls, I think. “You can cry, you can be sensitive, you can be emotional, AND you can still kick butt”. And as important as that message is for girls, it’s also a very important message to give boys, because boys are socialized to “never cry” and that’s super unhealthy. I love Ron’s admiration of Hermione. I love the way Ron hesitates, the way he can be cautious when he needs to as much as he can be reckless and impulsive. I love how he shows himself to be a big softie and a sweet soul. I don’t think that makes him an “emasculated doormat” (to quote a guest I once saw on FFN), on the contrary it makes him an even better man in my eyes. You know why I love the locket scene so much? Because Ron’s tears aren’t ridiculed. Ron gets to cry about the terrible ordeal he’s been put through, and while Harry “pretends he can’t see Ron cry” because it’s more comfortable for him personally, he doesn’t try to tell Ron to “man up” or anything. His reassurance is pretty lousy but he lets Ron cry, he lets his friend be upset, and he doesn’t try to invalidate Ron’s pain. (ok, the “I thought you knew” is kiiiiinda on the way there, but it stops at that and I’m grateful for it).

I like. Seeing Ron distressed. I like seeing Ron upset and be allowed to be upset. I like to see Ron’s pain treated with respect. So when Ron is having a shit day I like to see him get a cuddle. I like seeing Ron go through horrible ordeals and break down and for his breakdown to be properly acknowledged and not turned into insensitive comic relief (ISN’T THAT RIGHT, LATTER HALF OF THE SILVER DOE????). I mean seriously, just imagine GOF, Harry sitting in the hospital wing after Cedric’s death, Molly Weasley gives him a hug and it’s all very sad and angsty. And now picture Ginny running into the room screaming “HARRY JAMES POTTER” and punching him over and over and saying “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER” then after two pages of Harry “explaining” himself to Ginny she goes away saying “aight but if you do that shit again you’ll have to answer to me” then Harry’s friends are like “damn she’s spunky huh?” and Harry laughs and everyone laughs and this is how the book ends? How would it be funny? How would it be appropriate? How would it feel like “romance”? When Ron returns in The Silver Doe, he’s been psychologically tortured (”tortured” is the actual word JKR uses, please), we don’t need him to be hurting outside as well.

I want more accountability for Hermione. More “uh hey Hermione maybe don’t do that”. More “hey Hermione you know you think of yourself as a good person buuuut yeah actually if all good persons were like you I’d be very afraid”. More “Hermione please for the love of God educate yourself”. More “Hermione sweetie I love you, but you can’t actually learn everything from books”. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. PLEASE. Don’t be afraid to punch Hermione down and tear her apart the way the best Ron fics maim and torture our poor boy. Just because Rowling treated Hermione with kiddy princess gloves doesn’t mean you have to mimic her.

So when Hermione does a genuinely shitty thing let her own up to it. When Ron is a victim let him be upset and angry, even if Hermione is the one treating him badly. Just because he loves her doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to be disappointed in her or that she’s entitled to his immediate forgiveness. Give Ron and Hermione equal consideration. If you’re brushing off Hermione’s actions but condemning Ron for the slightest mistake, I am sure to hate it.

Okay, uh, so, those aren’t really tropes. Those are more just, guidelines I presume.

Oh, yeah, a trope that annoys me! Ron saying “you’re mine”, “my Hermione” and stuff, and Hermione just swoons and says “yours” and shiz. Ok, once in a while, why not. Once in a while. BUTT. I WANT HERMIONE TO SAY IT TOO. “Mine”, “my Ron!” and Ron swoons and says “yours, absolutely yours”. DO IT YOU COWARDS. FUCKING TAKE THOSE GENDER ROLES AND PUNCH’EM IN THE FACE.

Oh, right, while we’re on the subject of gender roles! Dad!Ron is everything. SingleParent!Ron is mwaaah. Stay-at-home-Dad!Ron is ALKZLDSJDLQSKLFJ <3. AnimalLover!Ron is HHHHNNNGG. Remember, the small gestures, the tiniest, softest acts Ron does (helping Harry get dressed when his arm is deboned, giving Dobby his brand-new sweater, praising Ginny, Luna and Neville when they escaped Umbridge), those are often those unremarkable, unmistakeably kind and sweet actions that tell us who Ron really is at his core: not a guy who’d want power at all costs, not a guy who’d give it all for ambition, not a guy who sees people as possessions, but someone kind who wants to make others happy.

Ok, I was also asked for AUs, so, uh, pretty much every AU is game as long as Ron gets treated with respect? I mean I don’t really care for Mafia!AUs or such but if you can find a way to fit good Romione then go for it I guess. Royalty AU, yeah why not but I often see Ron being made a prince while Hermione is a poor wee servant girl and like. Uuum, we’re talking about the same characters here? Hermione the highly educated girl who keeps on walking over everyone’s toes and loudly talking about how things should be done and is definitely Nouveau Riche, Ron who is a country boy who lives on a farm and is lost in the constant shuffle of his brothers, you think she should be the peasant and he should be the royal? Whaddafack? Oh, and all the “Hermione is a Muggle, Ron is a wizard” AUs that start this way BUTT! Suddenly... Hermione... turns out... to be (wait for it!)... A WITCH! And a super powerful super talented very good one too!!!... yeah ok, yawn. It’s quite scary, actually, how often I’ve seen that plotline, but in the rare cases when it’s Muggle!Ron and Witch!Hermione, Ron never ever EVER (I mean, seriously, NEVER EVER) turns out to have been a wizard, not even a mediocre one, all along. No, when Ron is made a Muggle for the sake of AU he stays a Muggle. But when Hermione is made a Muggle she has to turn out TO HAVE BEEN A WITCH ALL ALONG OMYGAH. I can count on one hand the number of Mugglemione/Wizardron fics that actually stick to their Mugglemione premise till the end - and usually they’re one-shots. (Also I don’t mean “Ron mistakes Hermione for a Muggle because he meets her in the Muggle world and assumes he must hide his magic from her, oh wait she was actually a witch!” fics, I mean genuinely “Hermione has been raised a Muggle her whole life, never had weird things happen to her her whole life ever, then Ron comes in and is a wizard and he does magic and Hermione wonders what it’d be like to be a witch and oh surprise! Don’t worry Hermione, you won’t have to feel not-special or mundane for long, here comes the plot contrivance to tell you you really were in fact the specialest of them all!!” fics.) Fairytale!AU is cool. Very good. But honestly I like to see them swapped around. Ron cursed by a nasty fae to be a Beast and Hermione stumbling upon him? Neat, especially if you don’t go the boring route of “oh let’s just rehash the Disney/the original book with different names and call it a day”. But Hermione cursed by an asshole fae for, let’s say, not sharing books, turning into a Beast, and Ron stumbling upon her as she’s trying to survive in the woods (and not doing a very good job of it)? Yes, brava, chief’s kiss. Rapunzel AU where Hermione’s bushy hair turns into the most impractical, most suffocating improvised ladder ever for Ron? Hilarious. Rapunzel AU where Ron has A GIANT EFFING PONYTAIL OF THE GODS and is screaming “ow ow ow” as Hermione makes her way up to his window cringing and saying “sorry! sorry! sorry! (damn his hair smells good)” on every step? Equally hilarious. Go! Be creative! Please I beg of you

Creature!fics! Oh my god there’s not enough of those, at least that aren’t focused on a bullshit pairing! Soulmate AUs! Give me everything! I’ll even take A/B/O if you insist on making it Romione! That’s how far I’ve fallen from human decency I’ll take anything just give me some good Ron content please I beg of you (Ah and to those that are going to say “Alpha Ron Omega Hermione :)))” well yes, but actually no. “Beta Ron Beta Hermione”? “Beta Ron Alpha Hermione”? “Omega Ron Alpha Hermione”??? HELL YEAH NOW WE’RE TALKIN)

Oh dear god I’m still not finished and I haven’t gone through everything someone stop me.

AND NOW BE CAREFUL CHILDREN, BELOW WILL BE SMUT.

Okay I don’t know if it qualifies as a trope, but. But. A more realistic depiction of Ron is usually what I’m after. All those fanfics that have Ron be “the sexy experienced one ;)))” ravishing “naive virginal Hermione ;))” is just UGH. We spent all the 2000-2010 period having fics like this, mind adding a bit of EQUALITY to the mix???

It’s just... I hate it okay? So many fics read like they’re just projection, writers who are essentially making Ron their big strong sex toy stud who's so attentive and sweet and cherishing, and so it does indirectly ends up as "servant Ron is so devoted to his goddess Hermione, providing pleasure to her while she doesn’t have to lift a finger”. The Dom!SexGod!Ron thing honestly depresses me... Since it's Ron taking care of Hermione, AGAIN. Like, he spends his WHOLE LIFE doing that already. Can we give him a break for once?

In the endI feel that it's less "Romione smut" and more "self-inserting into Hermione smut". In "real" Romione smut I think Ron and Hermione would switch roles according to what they feel like. And honestly I ALWAYS picture Ron being super nervous during Dom stuff, like he spanks her once then immediately he goes "oh my god are you okay?? did that hurt, do you want to stop?", things like that. I cannot imagine it happening any other way. XD Ron is just... too caring, too sensitive to do stuff like hard BDSM and that kind of thing in my opinion. He’s too much of a caretaker. I understand if it’s your kink and you’re perfectly free to project and write the fic you want, I’m not the fun police, but it’s just... I don’t think that’s really what Ron would be like. I just want MORE realistic Ron.

Also I’m trying really really hard to not point fingers here but WHY is it that it’s always “Ron growled” while it’s always “Hermione whimpered” or “Hermione moaned”? Like... you know it’s okay for a man to moan or whimper in pleasure too, right? You know Ron isn’t 110% muscles and testosterone? You know Hermione is allowed to be fierce too? Hermione can 100% “growl” and be dominant and pin Ron to the wall and reduce him to a puddle of goo if you’re brave enough?

(Honestly how sexy would Ron think that is? The woman he loves is half his size yet can pin him down and ravish him. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG RON HAS WANTED TO BE RAVISHED AND CHERISHED DO YOU KNOW HE’S BEEN WANTING THIS ALL HIS LIFE)

Oooo-kay, so that’s... mostly it, I reckon. Oh also Ron has a gigantic penisraise kink (and a great penis too, but mostly a praise kink). That’s canon and that’s all.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #harry potter #harry potter series #hp fanfic #fanfiction #tropes #au #writing

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bts-hyperfixation · 4 years ago

Text

Christmas vacation. 18+

Kim Namjoon x reader

Warnings: sir!namjoon/ voyeurism/ unprotected/ masturbation (f)/ oral(b)

Words: 4021

Every year your family spends Christmas with the Kim family. Your parents have been friends since long before you were born.

You used to really enjoy these dinners: your mother’s Christmas cookies, the Korean soup the Kim family brought with them, and of course the small pile of brand-new toys to play with. It was especially fun to have Namjoon around, he had been your first crush, and this was the only time you could get his attention all to yourself; none of his friends in the way making him ignore you as they laugh.

You’d been really good friends when you were young; but at some point it became uncool to be friends with girls. So bowing to peer pressure he started being mean when others were around, eventually leading to being mean when it was only the two of you. At that point you decided it wasn’t worth the effort and moved on to bigger and better things, ignoring him or being snarky and mean back.

Your friends never understood why you guys were so mean to each other, he had a reputation around school as being one of the nicest people to work with (and be around in general). However you had never managed to fix the ever-growing rift between you. You hated the very sight of him, even when he left to become an idol. If anything it made it so much worse when his face was everywhere and anyone new you met idolized the band.

Which brought you to this Christmas, the first one he would be attending in two years. You had whined at your mom about not wanting to stay this year, claiming you were old enough to not spend the holidays with them. You should be able to go to a friends and actually enjoy yourself. Your mom was having none of. She shut down your new plans as soon as they left your mouth; you immediately started pouting like a child.

“Look Y/N, it won’t do you any good to spend the next day and a half looking like an angry toddler, all it’s going to do is give you wrinkles” your mom chided. You huffed and straightened out your features, she was right after all.

On Christmas day the Kim’s arrived without Namjoon in toe. You couldn’t help but feel relieved. Probably too busy with last minute dance class or something equally dumb. It was great thinking you might get to avoid him for another year.

You went about the day as normal: talking with the Kims, watching a Christmas movie, and opening the presents under the tree before dinner. Unfortunately, just as you sat down to eat he strolled through the door, oozing confidence and arrogance.

“Sorry I’m late, got caught up saying goodbye to the boys” he shrugged bending to kiss his mother and taking the only seat left at the table… next to you. His leg brushed against yours under the table sending shivers up your spine as you physically recoiled. Your parents stare at you both pointedly until you make the effort to speak to one another.

“Y/N, how are you? I see you’ve not been up to anything special of late” he jeered sounding almost bored.

“I’m sorry we can’t all be global superstars at age 26 Joon” he inhaled sharply in amusement that that was the best you could throw at him.

The two of you ate in silence while your families caught up with each other. As you had gotten older, your two families found themselves spending less and less time together with increasingly busy schedules. That’s when they came up with their latest brilliant idea.

“By the way guys we have a surprise present for the both of you” said Mrs. Kim, a smile on her face as she handed you both a sae bae don. With your family eyeing you expectantly you open the red envelopes to reveal plane tickets to the Caribbean for the following week.

“Oh my gosh this is amazing; I have always wanted to go to the Caribbean!” you squealed. In your excitement you knocked over the gravy on the table, accidently covering yourself, and Namjoon, in the hot liquid.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re such a klutz!” he yelped as he jumped from his seat. After being chastised for his language he stormed off to the bathroom to clean himself off, pulling his top over his head and showcasing his muscular back as he went. Your heart fluttered with what you assumed was rage as you huffed and headed into the laundry room. You were standing there in just your bra soaking your shirt before it ruined when he walked in behind you.

“God don’t you knock?” you squeaked as you pulled one of your dad’s shirts in front of you to cover yourself from his view, not missing the way his eyes raked down your body.

“Hello? I’m talking to you Joon?” you wave a hand in front of his face to get him to stop looking at you.

“Typically, walking into a public room of a house, I don’t knock no. Your mom told me to grab one of your dad’s shirts to borrow” you recovered from your original embarrassment noticing he was also stood there shirtless. Your eyes following a similar pattern to the one his had just taken down your curves. He took a step towards you, invading your personal space and towering over you. You stood there for a moment unsure of what he was planning. He broke eye contact first taking your dad’s shirt out of your hands before pulling it over his head. He snorted at the bewildered look on your face and left the room, leaving you there breathing much heavier than you were before and once again half naked. You pulled on a shirt from the clean laundry and headed back to join your family for the board game part of your Christmas festivities. Namjoon’s eyes caught yours every so often, he was very distinctly handsome, and the thought of him shirtless and so close to you wouldn’t leave your mind. If only he had a more tolerable personality.

…..

Two weeks passed and you found yourself standing with Namjoon at the entrance to a hotel room. Your parents had insisted you were way too old to share with them, which made sense, they deserved their privacy too. Unfortunately, that left you with a less than desirable roommate.

“You guys won’t even be in the hotel room that often, you’ll barely see each other” your dad had reasoned when the two of you started to put up a fight “plus we are not paying for the extra room”

You headed inside putting your suitcase on the bed closest to the window.

“What if I wanted that bed?” Namjoon grumbled.

“Should have gotten to it faster” you shrugged unzipping it to unpack.

After your stuff had been put away you changed out of your airplane clothes into a bikini and sheer wrap. At the sound of you exiting the bathroom Namjoon looked up from the book he was sat reading on his bed. His eyes trailed down your form through your wrap, reminiscent of his roaming gaze on Christmas. You went to make snide comment but instead he quickly closed the book, grabbed a pair of trunks, and headed for the bathroom. Not waiting for him to finish you called out that you were heading for the pool and left the room.

Everyone else was already downstairs when you reached the side of the pool. You set down your towel and chose the best sun lounger with your group. You get settled in and close your eyes ready for a nap in the warm sun after the long flight. Not long into your attempt at a sleep a shadow covered your body making you scowl, but not open your eyes.

“You can’t have the best bed and the best sun lounger, that’s not fair” Namjoon points out bitterly.

“Like I said before, you should’ve been faster” you smirk a little too proud of yourself.

“Is that right?” you felt the shadow over you move and settled back in, assuming you’d won the little banter and he would now go sulk elsewhere. Unfortunately for you, he had actually just moved to get a better grip. He pulled you over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift and carried you towards the deep end of the pool. You opened your eyes wide in shock and started to thrash around panicking.

“Joon you put me down right this instant.” You screamed. His only response was to slap you firmly on the bum and growl.

“You’re done being such a tease to me” the low tone in his voice made you feel tight at your core, but you didn’t have time to fully digest what he said because you were swiftly dropped into the water waiting below. As you came up for air planning to chastise him, he cannonballed next to you covering you in a tidal wave. He laughed at the drowned rat look you were now sporting. Embarrassed and annoyed you went with the only fitting punishment and pushed a large amount of water in the idols direction, resulting in a full splash war. Trying to gain the traction you needed to push him fully underwater and drown him, you jumped on his back and wrapped your hands in his hair.

“Hey that’s not fair” he whined trying to shake you free. You laughed at his failed attempts clinging on for dear life as he flipped backwards, sending you both under the water. The pair of you were laughing when you came up for air. It’s nice to laugh with him again, your mind started to wander as you realized the position you’d put yourself in.

Now clung to his front, your legs wrapped around his waist putting you practically nose to nose. You released and recoiled immediately, clambering out of the pool, and making excuses to your family before heading back inside. For someone you hate so much, he definitely had an immensely powerful effect on you lately.

You reached your room quickly, and content that Namjoon probably wouldn’t be back for a while you grabbed the small silver vibrator from the secret compartment within your suitcase and ran a bath for yourself to wash the day away. Too busy rubbing your swollen clit and thinking about how attractive Namjoon was to you all of a sudden. You hadn’t heard him come back into the room. After he called out for you and got no response, he opened the bathroom door in order to freshen up for an afternoon lunch by the ocean.

He is shocked to find you masturbating. Mouth ajar, headphones in, one leg over the side of the bath to give you better access to yourself. Mesmerized, he didn’t move out of the door frame. Instead he watched as you got closer and closer to your high, little mewling sounds leaving your lips, and then one word he never expected to hear.

“Namjoon” you moaned as your body convulsed slightly reaching your edge.

His pants twitched looking at you like that forcing him back into reality. Quickly he exited the room before you came around and saw him stood there. He sat on his bed readjusting himself to make it less obvious that he was sporting a semi, playing innocent when you walk out of the bathroom in a new outfit ready for lunch.

“Oh” you said sheepishly “I didn’t realize you were back in the room” the blush left on your skin from you’re orgasm intensified. He refused to make eye contact but shrugs

“I’ve only just walked in” he stood and pushed passed you into the bathroom and you released a sigh of relief as you took the bullet out of your cleavage and hid it back in its special compartment. Feeling slightly disgusted about masturbating to the thought of a guy you supposedly hate, you tried to get your mind to focus on other things, taking one of the books Namjoon brought with him off the bedside table.

You were upside-down, legs up on the wall, 3 chapters deep when Namjoon walked back into the room, his face flushed pink. You’d put it down to sunburn and the two of you lest, ready to go out and meet your families.

Its late by the time you guys got back to the room, having gone on an exploration of the area after dinner, then a bar. You were three or four drinks in, and more than ready to flop into bed, but something was bothering you.

“What’s your problem?” you asked accusatorily “You’ve been glaring at me since dinner, does my existence really bother you that much?” he sighed and turned away from you to head into the bathroom trying to ignore your question. But you blocked his way passed, putting a hand on his chest to try to prevent him from moving forward.

“No, answer me, you don’t get to ignore me for the next two weeks just because you want to be an asshole” he finally met your questioning gaze, something dancing behind his deep brown eyes. He grabbed your hand from its position on his torso and used it as leverage to push you up against the wall, you seized up; unsure of where to go from here, he was just staring at you, gaze flicking between your eyes and mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing?” your voice came out a lot quieter than you wanted it to. He inched ever closer, your body now flat against the cool wall behind you.

“I saw you today” he finally broke his silence, his voice low and raspy, sending your mind reeling.

“Saw me do what exactly?” you gulped having a feeling you already knew what.

“You were touching yourself… and thinking of me” his confident smirk doing nothing to stop the heat that pooled in your stomach.

“I don’t know what you mean” you grimaced, looking away; trying to hide the blush creeping up your face. He applied more pressure to keep you from squirming out of his hold. Using his free hand he pulled your face back to his. His mouth a whisper away as he breathed the next words.

“I can’t get the sight of you out of my head, spread wide, pushing yourself to the limit with that pathetic little toy. I could give you something much better to please yourself with”

You snorted at his attempt and came to your senses, pushing him away.

“You seem to have forgotten my intense dislike of you Joon.” You Walked back to your bed, far out of his reach. Watching his next move carefully, you could hear your heart beating loud in your chest. Fairly sure he could hear it too. He didn’t give up, moving closer to you, grabbing your wrists, and pulling you up to him again.

“Things can change Y/N, now do as you’re told” he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to yours tentatively, seeking the approval to continue. Frozen there, your brain tried to figure out what was happening between the two of you. Whether you wanted this because you like him or because of the alcohol. Relenting you melted into his form, deepening the kiss yourself. He needed no further approval and lifted you to wrap your legs around his waist pushing the two of you back against a wall.

“God I’ve been waiting for this since we were like 16” he admitted as he moved his lips down to your collarbone licking and sucking his way along.

“Yeah right asshole” you said breathless.

“Watch what you call me angel” he growled out the threat surprising you. “It’s sir or master now”

“Who are you kidding?” you sniggered, and he pus you down. You looked into his eyes to see there is no joking going on instead he pushed you hard onto his bed. He manhandled you onto all fours and he spanked you twice, not hard but firm enough to assert himself. The sudden aggression turned you on even more. You could feel yourself soaking through your underwear. You tried to turn to see him, but he applied pressure to your shoulders preventing you from pivoting your body. He leaned down so he could whisper in your ear.

“Is this okay?” he nibbled on your ear waiting for your response. You nodded slowly, not trusting your voice to not betray you with a moan. “I need you to tell me, tell me you’re okay baby girl”

“I’m okay” you let out a shaky breath of anticipation.

“I’m okay, who?” the smirk was evident in his voice knowing that he hadn’t even begun to touch you properly and you were already this turned on

“I’m okay, sir” You conceded but there was a venom in the word as you said it. He chuckled to himself.

“God you are such a little brat, guess I’ll have to fix that” he released his hold on your shoulders and you turned to lie flat onto your back gazing up and biting your bottom lip waiting to see how he decided to punish you. He’s stood above you carefully and slowly undoing the buckle on his belt.

“Sit up” came his only command you did as told mesmerized by the motion of his slender fingers working to free himself from his pants. His cock girthier than expected and already leaking precum proving he was just as turned on as you.

“Open” he said, but you turned your head like a petulant child, wanting to know how far you could push him and this new dynamic he’d tried to create between the two of you. He chuckled at your defiance and pulled your head back to face front. Hand holding under your chin his thumb ran across your mouth forcing your lips to part for him and having you suck on it.

“Don’t test me princess” there was danger in the tone of his voice as he moved his thumb out of your mouth to grab your hair and pull you gently by it to your knees. This time you opened your mouth expectantly tongue out and ready, waiting for him to allow you to continue. He placed the head of his cock on to your tongue and you licked down the shaft causing him to tremor slightly before taking him in fully.

He had been so busy with the band lately; it must have been a while since he had gotten the chance to release himself. He used your hair as leverage to force his cock further down your throat causing tears to form in the corners of your eyes and a small cough try to escape around the thick mass. He pulled his cock almost all the way out before ramming back into you, fucking your throat roughly. You felt him tense as if nearing a release and he pulled away; you moan at the sudden removal from and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Looking at him with questioning eyes he offered a hand to help you up. You took it and he pulled you in close kissing you fervently, tasting himself on you.

“You’re too much baby girl” he breathed and then pushed you on to the bed, undoing and pulling down your pants, his fingers traced slowly down your legs. He tossed your clothes aside and separated your legs getting a good look at your core for the first time. He bit at your thigh the sudden pleasure making you moan a little too loud. “Careful kitten my parents are in the room next door” you’d put a hand to your mouth as the other clawed into the bed to try and help you steady yourself.

Namjoon blew softly on your clit making you shiver. His eyes met yours asking if he could taste you. You nodded and he glared back for a moment until you realised your mistake.

‘Yyyes sir” you stammered no longer needing a prompt to use the name. That’s all he needed for him to lick a line up your thigh before flicking his talented tongue against your clit. He dragged his tongue through your folds before plunging deep into your hole, tasting the arousal he’d made you feel. He grabbed your hips creating small halfmoon marks where his nails dug into your skin. He sucked hard on your clit making you throw your head back from the shockwave it sent up your core. He brought one hand down to help him please you, slowly pushing two fingers all the way into you. You constricted around the digits, grinding down onto them, making him hit your sweet spot. He pumped his fingers in and out scissoring occasionally to stretch you. You core is wound tighter and tighter as you got closer to your release.

“I think I’m I’m I’m gonna c..” you trailed off and he suddenly left you empty and alone. As a reflex you reached with grabby hands to get the feeling of him back and he chuckled.

“Baby girl, surely you didn’t think it would be that easy? Not after what a brat you were to me” you cried out regretting your defiance.

“Please sir, pleeease” you begged, fully submitting to the new dynamic you have.

“Get your toy, finish yourself off” he settled into the hotel chair cock in hand. You blushed, mortified by the thought of masturbating knowing he is watching. You stood to move to him, to sit on his lap, get him to touch you again, but he deterred your advances.

“You have your order princess” he grinned “come on do this and maybe I’ll reward you” you did as you were told and fetched the small toy from its hiding place. You’d lay on your bed and got ready to start.

“No Y/N, on my bed” you got up and moved, arranging yourself to face him. Unable to meet his eyes you began rubbing figure of eights with the small toy moaning as it touched the most sensitive parts You felt his eyes watching you intently spurring you on. His name tumbling from your lips proved too much for him, his hands were back on you

“Don’t stop” he commanded as his tongue joined the toy in pleasuring you. The feeling pushed you over the edge immediately, but he was relentless, overstimulating you. You tried pulling the toy away from your clit to give yourself some respite.

“I said don’t stop” he growled, and you brought the stim back as you rode out your high. He pulled back from you to line himself up, slowly pushing himself into you, stretching you around him, giving you time to adjust to the sudden change in pressure. He started to pump himself into your core, hitting your cervix every now and again. The bullet still at your clit and his rhythm brought you close once again. You clenched your walls around him providing both of you with extra friction.

“Not yet baby, don’t cum yet” he picked up the pace and you took the toy away from your clit grabbing onto his back to help keep you steady. He pumped into you a few more times before he started to studder reaching his end. He reached down between the two of you to rub your clit himself, bringing you back to the edge, you came quickly and as you did, he let himself release deep within you. He collapsed next to you on the bed pulling you close leaving a trail of kisses along your back. You both lay there quietly for a little while.

“That’s not where I thought this holiday was going to take us” you exhaled still a little breathless.

“That’s not where I thought this holiday would take us, sir” he teased.

“Yeah that’s not happening again” you tried to shoot back both of you knowing full well that you were lying.

Masterlist

#bts smut #namjoon smut #rm smut #dom rm #dom Namjoon #bts fic #mature #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #rm x y/n #namjoon imagine #100 #200

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slickbackdani · 4 years ago

Text

Batman Movie Villains Ranked from Worst to Best

Recently, a YouTuber I follow by the name of Mr. Rogues released a list of Batman villains ranked from worst to best. I have nothing but the utmost of respect for Mr. Rogues as a content creator, but I took issue with his list because his long-standing biases were often the deciding factor in many of his rankings. So, I decided to do a list of my own.

I’ll be going over every Batman villain to appear in the movies, briefly analyzing their portrayals and ranking them on a scale of 1 to 5. To prevent the list from being too cluttered, I’ll be separating the villains by which movie series they’re part of. Here we go!

Burton/Schumacher Tetralogy

Bane: Perhaps the only villain in this series I’d call “bad.” The calculating tactician of the comics is nowhere to be found here; instead, he’s reduced to a monosyllabic, brain-dead stooge for the other villains. Overall, he does nothing that couldn’t be done by a random henchman. 1/5

Two-Face: A deeply layered villain in the comics, Two-Face sadly gets upstaged by the other major rogue in the movie, but that’s not to say he doesn’t leave an impression. Tommy Lee Jones gives him a manic and mercurial demeanor that, combined with his colorful design, wouldn’t be out of place in the Adam West series. The size and scope of his criminal organization make him a genuine threat, and there’s something darkly fitting about Batman’s former ally being responsible for the creation of Robin. 3/5

Poison Ivy: Mr. Rogues for some reason ranked her as the worst Batman movie villain of all time, and frankly, I don’t see why. Like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face, Uma Thurman gives this character a delightfully over-the-top demeanor that combines with a colorful, comic-booky ensemble to make for another great “what-if-this-character-appeared-in-the-Adam-West-series” take. She does a good job juggling the differing facets of Ivy’s character: she’s the put-upon cynic, the craven opportunist, the radical eco-terrorist, and the suave seductress all in one package. 3.5/5

The Penguin: Fuck the Razzies. Danny DeVito made this role his own and set the stage for the character for years to come. He’s a bit of a departure, but a welcome one: far from the refined gentleman of crime Burgess Meredith portrayed, this Penguin is an animalistic thug warped by a lifetime of anger and hatred of the society who rejected him due to his deformities. His signature wardrobe, trick umbrellas, and Penguin gimmick are all there, but DeVito sells the role by showing amazing versatility: he can go from a comical and pitiable weirdo to a terrifying sociopath at the drop of a stovepipe hat. 4/5

Mr. Freeze: I honestly can’t say much about this character that my mutual @wonderfulworldofmichaelford hasn’t already. Arnold Schwarzenegger perfectly encapsulates both popular versions of this character: the flamboyant, pun-loving criminal genius from the Adam West series and the Animated Series’ traumatized scientist desperate to cure his loving wife of her terminal illness. Sure, the puns and hammy one-liners are what this version character is known for, but Ahnold definitely knows when to apply the brakes and give a greatly emotional performance as he tries desperately to cure his wife. 4.5/5

Max Shreck: Probably the only time you’ll see a movie-exclusive character on this list, and deservedly so. Corrupt businessmen are dime-a-dozen in Batman stories, and most of them have little personality outside of being greedy scumbags who either get defeated by the hero or betrayed by the other villains. Shreck, however, is different. Not only does he have an eye-catching fashion sense on par with any of Batman’s famous rogues, but Christopher Walken brings his signature manic intensity to the role, creating a character that’s as wicked and sinister as he is cool and stylish. You totally buy that the general public sees him as the good guy. His warm relationship with his son is also a delight to watch. 4.5/5

Catwoman: Michelle Pfeiffer does a lot to really make the character her own. She gets a lot of genuinely badass moments, but underneath all of her coolness lies the undercurrent that she’s a broken, traumatized character lashing out at the people who abused her and took her for granted. Even when she takes these ideals to unreasonable extremes, you never stop feeling like the retribution she brings on her enemies is at least a little warranted. Also, she has amazing romantic chemistry with Batman and her costume is fucking metal. 5/5

The Ridder: It’s Jim Carrey. 5/5

The Joker: This role is perhaps the one that set the standard for future Jokers to follow: Jack Nicholson’s humorous yet unnerving performance signaled to audiences early on that this would not be the goofy trickster of the Silver Age, but a different beast entirely. This Joker is a film noir gangster on crack: a disfigured mob hitman who quickly takes the entire criminal underworld by storm and unleashes his special brand of chaos and destruction across Gotham. He’s an artist, a showman, a charismatic leader, and the man responsible for ruining Bruce Wayne’s life. 5/5

Christopher Nolan Trilogy

Talia al Ghul: You know that recent trend in Disney movies where a side character we thought was harmless and inconsequential turned out to have been the villain all along in a twist with no buildup or foreshadowing with the reveal happening too late in the movie for this character to really do anything cool or impressive before being unceremoniously defeated? That’s Talia. DKR is the weakest of the three Nolan films, and I feel like it would’ve been much better received without this twist villain contrivedly shoehorned in. Also, while I could kinda forgive the trilogy’s whitewashing of other villains like Ra’s al Ghul and Bane due to the talent their actors display, Marion Cotillard doesn’t get a pass because she just doesn’t have the charisma or screen presence needed to pull it off. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: While the idea of redefining Zsasz as an over enthusiastic mob hitman instead of a serial killer is very interesting, it’s ruined by the fact that he barely even appears in the movie and doesn’t really do or say much of anything despite the buildup he gets. 1.5/5

Two-Face: Aaron Eckhart portrays Harvey Dent as a character of tragedy in a slightly different way than other tragic villains in superhero movies: he’s lashing out at a society he feels wronged him, but instead of being a lifelong outcast or put-upon loser, he was a handsome, successful crusader for the common good who lost everything he once held dear all in one fell swoop. You really feel for him even as he does horrible things. If I had to nitpick, though, I am slightly bothered by the fact that he plays some comic book movie cliches straight (i.e. they never call him by his alias and he dies at the end,) but it’s a solid performance overall. 3/5

Scarecrow: I’ll be upfront and admit that I’m more than a little annoyed that certain facets of the character had been changed in the name of “realism” — once again, they never call him by his villain name and he never wears a comic-accurate costume — but other than that, I can’t complain. Cillian Murphy plays the character with a smarmy, eerie charm that really makes his scenes stand out, his willingness to ally himself with other villains suits his character well, and the fact that he appears in three consecutive films with a different evil scheme in each really helps tie the movies together. 3.5/5

Catwoman: Much like other secondary villains in this trilogy, she really doesn’t get a chance to shine compared to the main antagonist — and, once again, it pisses me off a little that they do the whole “never refer to her as Catwoman but vaguely hint at it” thing — but she’s everything a modern Catwoman should be. She’s sly, manipulative, really holds her own in a fight, has great chemistry with Bruce Wayne... it’s all there. It’s also great to see Anne Hathaway break away from her usual type casting to play a role this dynamic. 4/5

Ra’s al Ghul: He’s a character that was in desperate need of mainstream exposure, and by God that’s what he got. Making him Bruce Wayne’s mentor adds a layer of personal tragedy to the climax where our hero has to stop the man who made him who he is from destroying Gotham with his admittedly brilliant plan. Add in a strong, captivating performance from Liam Neeson before we found out he was a racist asshole, and we’ve got one hell of an overarching villain. 4.5/5

The Joker: Everybody’s already discussed this version of the character to hell and back and likely will for years to come, so I’ll keep it very brief. He’s funny, he’s badass, he’s terrifying, he has great dialogue, it sucks that Heath Ledger didn’t live to see his performance reach the audience it got, and he basically makes the entire film. 5/5

Bane: Mr. Rogues actually ranked Bane higher than Joker on his list, and keeping it 100, I actually agree with him here. Finally, after decades of being dumbed down and misrepresented outside of comics, Bane is finally portrayed as the tactical genius from the comics. Tom Hardy plays Bane to perfection, being very believable as the peak of human physical and mental achievement, the man who broke Batman physically and emotionally. His design is iconic, his every line is quotable, his voice is weirdly fitting, and the memes are funny. 5/5

DC Extended Universe

KGBeast: Another point where I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Rogues. He is absolutely wasted in BVS, being nothing but a generic henchman for Lex Luthor. He doesn’t wear his costume from the comics, he’s never referred to by his alias, he doesn’t have his signature cybernetic enhancements, and he never does or says anything noteworthy. 1/5

The Joker: Ugh. I don’t know what’s worst: the tacky clothes, the stupid tattoos, the weird Richard Nixon impression that passes as his voice, the fact that promotional material hyped him up as a “beautiful tragedy” of a character even though he’s only in the movie for like 10 minutes and barely does anything, Jared Leto’s toxic edgelord behavior on set done with the flimsy pretense of “getting into character,” or the fact that he’s just trying to copy Heath Ledger instead of making the role his own. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: Chris Messina proves undoubtedly that Zsasz CAN work as a secondary villain in a Batman movie. He’s once again a mob assassin who enjoys his job a little too much, but unlike Batman Begins, he really gets time to shine. He’s just as sadistic and depraved as in the comics, but he also has this disarming, casual demeanor about him like he’s just indulging a hobby instead of slicing innocent people’s faces off. His close friendship with his boss Black Mask adds some depth to the character as well. 3/5

Killer Croc: Sadly, he doesn’t get much time in the spotlight, but he’s pretty cool nonetheless. The makeup and prosthetics used to create him look amazing, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje’s deep voice and imposing body language make him really stand out as an intimidating presence. He’s often in the background, which fits his role as an outcast by choice and a man of few words, but whenever he does get focus, he has everyone’s attention. It really would be a shame if this character’s only appearance was in a mediocre schlock action movie, but he makes the most of what he has. 3.5/5

Deadshot: Another highlight of what would otherwise be a forgettable film, Deadshot is just as cool and competent as he’s always been in other media, but this portrayal stands out for one simple reason. Will Smith was a very odd choice to play the role, but it worked out for the best here because you get the sense he truly understands the characters. He’s ruthless and pragmatic, but has just as enough charm and depth to make him likable. 4/5

Black Mask: I, like many, was skeptical when I saw early trailers depicting Roman Sionis as a foppish weirdo who doesn’t wear his signature mask, but upon seeing the final movie, I really feel like he has the high ground over other DCEU villains. Ewan McGregor is endlessly captivating in the role, portraying him as a swaggering dandy who is nevertheless dangerous due to his boundless narcissism and explosive temper. Sure, those who deal in absolutes would be put off from the differences with his comic counterpart — who is far more cold and humorless — but from a certain point of view, this flamboyant take on the character isn’t so much a departure as it is an addition to make him stand out while keeping his role the same. Black Mask has always been a middleman between the traditional mobsters of yesteryear and the colorful rogues that plague Gotham today, and this portrayal perfectly encapsulates that. He works in the shadows, but isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty; he flies off the handle and gets reckless at times, but there’s no question that the whole operation was his idea. 5/5

Harley Quinn: Margot Robbie owns this role. She’s unbelievably dazzling as a badass, funny, sexy antihero who deals greatly with tragedy and proves that there’s always been more to her than her initial role as the Joker’s sidekick. Again, not much to say, but she’s almost perfect. 5/5

#dc villains #batman #batman villains #dark knight #dc extended universe #batman movie

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years ago

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Can you do a headcanon where a disney villain get bitten by a werewolf and they experience their first transformation? The villains you can use are Clayton, Professor Ratigan (as a human), Sykes, Judge Claude Frollo, Gaston, and Captain hook. I wish you a lovely day.

Sure thing! Hope these are okay, I got a bit sleepy at the end. You have a wonderful day, too! ^^

~~~

Captain Hook:

· Of all the beasts trying to get a bite of me, it had to be a WEREWOLF!? (By beasts, he refers the Tic Toc, the sea monster, Peter Pan, the lost boys, and all the Darlings)

· Captain Hook is cursing is deliciousness right now.

· It’s a whole thing when he gets bitten. He is in such panic, and its all Smee can do to get him to bed all wrapped up! Never mind getting the captain to sleep in this state.

· He’s already traumatised from getting bitted by Tic Toc! The next couple of days, he’ll be shaking and extra easily frightened. Smee will be the only comforting part of his life.

· When the full moon eventually comes, our Captain has been so anxious leading up that he didn’t eat. Which makes for a very, very hungry werewolf. Which is never good.

· (The mermaids are about to learn that they should stay under water on the full moon for the foreseeable future. Especially seeing as Hook will not age and die any time soon)

· The only good thing about this situation is that Peter is able to distract him (For fun, of course.) all night by dangling himself before the hungry eyes and then zipping off in the air again so Wolf!Hook has to make chase.

· When Hook wakes up the next morning, he dry heaves. See, the uncontrollable hunger from when he was a werewolf (Since he didnt actually end up getting to eat anything because of Peter) transferred to his human form and he’s so hungry, and also so sick from fear and anxiety that he needs to vomit. The nausea is so terrible it literally leaves his stomach feeling empty but he’s too unwell to eat.

· Eventually Smee makes him eat some porridge and he starts to calm down…

· He decides his next transformation will not turn him into this nervous wreck. Not him. Not Captain James Hook.

Clayton:

· Clayton is pissed when he gets bitten- more from the outrage that an animal hurt him instead of the other way around (I mean, with all of his experience in the field you would imagine he would be able to take care of himself sufficiently). So, he’s furious and wielding his machete (Or better yet a gun) instead of being worried about the wound that is gushing out blood from his arm (He would never let a predator near his middle. He’s too practised in defence - and more notably offense, - to let that happen).

· Now, he doesn’t realise that what he came in contact with was a werewolf, of course. He just thought it was… I don’t know… just some kind of large, steroid implanted dog.

· It gets away before he can shoot it. Now he’s pale from blood loss, hair a greasy mess, his muscles are weak and the wound probably has had dirt rubbed in it from the struggle of surviving against a werewolf.

· So, for the time before his first transformation, he’s very sick and gangrene is creeping around his wound and down his arm. He’s vomiting, he’s got muscle weakness, and theirs a metallic taste stuck in his mouth all the time. A doctor sees to him and says that its expected that he would die from this, seeing as they’re in the middle of nowhere (On whatever expedition he’s on. He’s certainly nowhere near a proper hospital, not that they could have done much more to help then this field surgeon anyway. Although, they might have had anaesthetic) unless he lets them cut off his arm and cauterize it with a branding iron. Of course, he would not let that happen and continues on like a brave (Stupid) soldier.

· By the time the full moon comes around, he’s already a disgusting, struggling mess. So when he’s tossing and turning in his cot that night- no one there really does anything. He’s just left to struggle.

· Not that they could have done anything to make his first transformation any easier, or save themselves.

· Of course, when the next day breaks, Clayton wakes up sprawled on the forest floor with a killer headache, and when he gets up and wonders who the hell carried him out of his tent last night, he finds that he feels… oddly better. Healthier. Pulling up his… torn?… shirt sleeve, he tries to assess his wolf bite... just to find that it isn’t there. Perfectly clear, unscarred flesh stretched over muscle sits there instead.

· He’s so confused. Was all that about the beast and his bite, and the nightmare afterwards, just a fever dream? Did he eat something bad out of the forest?

· … But then, he finds he still tastes metal on his tongue. A deep taste of iron that Clayton cannot deny is blood.

· Then he looks around, and his heart plummets (Not because he feels remorse because 1. He doesn’t realise all this mess was him yet, and 2. Clayton? Remorse? Hahaha) to see the nearly unrecognisable bodies on the floor around him and the tents torn to shreds not half as bad.

· He’s beyond confused, alone, and has a mess to clean up. But he does feel better then he did before the transformation, at least.

Gaston:

· Gaston is similar to Clayton. He can take the injury, but he is furious that an animal, a beast, was able to get the drop on him.

· I think Gaston would have claimed this beast that bit him was a werewolf (Or something along those lines) even if it was just a fox or something. The shame! The shame, of Gaston getting beaten by an animal (Or anything or anyone)!

· He goes ahead and tells the town that he beat 2 werewolves but the last one got him when his back was turned- and he was so strong that the powers of lycanthropy didn’t work on him! A lie, of course. Because, I mean, he did end up scaring off the wolf after he had been bitten, getting some good hits on the beast as well with his knife, but did he beat the wolf? I don’t think so. And there was only one werewolf.

· So when he does turn on the next full moon, he’s mortified and furious… and that transfers into uncontrolled rage in his wolf form.

· The last thing he remembers when he awakes is the claw marks he left on the wall, through the wallpaper. With his own damn hands. Like a beast.

· And when he does wake up to his room in disrepair; Wooden chairs ripped away their legs, claw marks on the walls, antler’s ripped from the frames on the wall, scratches along the wooden floor… its just a mess. A huge, monstrous mess, and it shocks Gaston.

· He literally has nothing to say. He knows if he leaves out his front door, people will ask what the noise was last night (I mean, he’s GASTON. Everyone wants to know about him. He knows this.), and he just doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want to explain away a reason, he doesn’t want to make any sort of mouth noises at all; Especially not to anyone.

· He gathers up his gun and his rucksack and he sneaks out the backdoor and into the forest to do some camping and hide out for a couple days… or a week.

Judge Frollo:

· Oof, what a thing for a ‘religious’ man like him to become… Maybe he’ll finally admit that he isn’t as pure as he thinks he is.

· He knows what he’s being hunted by the moment he sees those glowing yellow eyes. He rushes into the cathedral, for safety. As if those pillars and stain glass windows can protect him from what’s coming, as if the cross could.

· The werewolf just follows him in, and that’s where he attacks. Bites Frollo in the shoulder because he was dumb enough to turn his back on the animal, but luckily the priest of the cathedral hears his screams and comes with silver and scares off the yellow eyed devil- saving Frollo from certain death. He never would have been able to fight off the wolf himself. No one could (Well except Gaston)

· He feels absolute dread and anxiety up until the full moon. He can feel the monster growing in him, feeling it taking form and taking control of his instincts, ready to strike and take his strength and mind, too. (Whether this is his delusions or a real thing he’s able to feel because he’s so aware, you can decide).

· It makes him volatile and extra murderous in those days leading up to the full moon.

· When he wakes up the morning after the full moon, his limbs are heavy and Frollo just rests head back on the wall he was just able to drag himself to with remaining strength, and he cries. He sobs. He begs God to excuse him, he asks what he did to deserve this.

Sykes:

· Ooooh, Sykes would make a great werewolf. He’s huge on a normal day- can you imagine how big he is as a wolf? How vicious? Luckily he’s usually pretty calm. So, he’d make a large, well humoured wolf. He just wants to chew on some shoes and rest.

· Anyway- the wolf was aggravated by the smell of dog already on Sykes and that’s why he got bitten. He didn’t hunt the creature, didn’t step into his territory, didn’t do anything to purposely aggravate the creature at all like most of the others.

· Also unlike the others, this werewolf just bites and runs. It doesn't attempt to take Sykes completely down or anything. This is purely a hit and run kind of dealio. Probably because it heard Desoto and Roscoe respond to their Daddy’s pained yell and decided to leave on a high note.

· Sykes tries to brush it off. Just applies pressure to the wound until he can properly dress it, and then ignore it. He has more important things to do then focus on that huge wolf that bit him. He doesn’t know what it was, he has no trauma’s surrounded the incident, and he’s stressed usually (Being a successful gangster and all), so how he feels leading up to this first full moon since he was bitten isn’t much different from how he usually feels. He’s driving around everywhere, putting the fear of Bill Sykes into people like Fagin, and doing paperwork. He doesn’t even notice the bite in his side unless he stretches, or he showers

· (Which, by the way, doesn’t occur as often as it should. He’s very busy).

· When the full moon finally occurs, it’s the one night in like a month that he finally gets to have a rest. So he’s just in his living room, reading a newspaper, eating his dinner, reclining, when he starts to feel an uncomfortable prickling feeling rush up his back like a hot flash. He tries to ignore it…

· But then he looks at his hand, and its furry. And then the claws start to break through his skin and he’s in horrible pain and of course terror for about a minute before his eyes change and he loses human consciousness.

· The next day, he wakes up with sore gums and an aching jaw, and as he sits up from the odd position of being half on the floor with his chin on the bed, rubbing his throbbing jaw, he sees various pairs of his shoes, chair legs detached from the chairs, and… doorknobs? On the floor around him? They all have dents and scrapes all over them as if a dog (A huuuuuge, stroooong dog) came along and had the time it its life chewing on them.

Human!Professor Ratigan:

· Ratigan is, obviously, a smart man. But he didn’t see this coming. How could he? He’s a man of science. He got himself home, disinfected and dressed his wound / s and thinks that’ll be the end of it. Apart from, possibly, some mental scarring, but luckily- he is also a trained psychological practitioner! He can handle this.

· But of course, that’s not how this goes.

· On the first full moon after the attack, he starts to feel… symptoms. He wonder’s if he’s getting sick, or if he neglected to disinfect his bite properly but- no. No way would he make a mistake like that. His wound is securely taped all the time, so even if he had missed out on disinfecting it one day after a shower or something, how could it be infected?? Its very unlikely. So, then, where is this sweating and general irritation coming from? He’s not usually an even-tempered man, but this is becoming… concerning. Even for him.

· Like I said, he’s a man of science, but when a little after he retires early for the evening, fur starts to prickle up and all over his skin, he finds he’s able to figure it out just before he loses consciousness.

· Lycanthropy.

· That was a werewolf that bit him.

· He has to do somethin-

· When he wakes up in the morning, puffing out the experience and rage of the beast inside him, he starts by standing motionless in the shower that’s so hot his skin goes pink, but he can’t feel it- he’s too lost in his thoughts. Analysing everything, trying to remember what he did, asking himself if he can weaponize this with any accuracy (Like find out how extract the venom and inject it into Basil), calculating how this can be possible... trying to just figure out how to fix it because this will absolutely not do.

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warsmith-38 · 4 years ago

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How I would do RWBY Pt. 0

Disclaimer: It is easier to improve what already exist than it is to create something new. Boy howdy do I know that. That being said, I believe that RWBY has more than its fair share of flaws and this is how I would do it differently if I was behind the reigns. This is just a collection of my opinions and ideas which in the end will probably amount to nothing. I felt the need to do this because my brain just decided ‘nah motherfucker, you ain’t thinking of anything else from now on’ and this is the end result for nothing else would satisfy my rage.

I wouldn’t quite call this a complete re-haul, but more rather a rework with some of my own brand of polish. It’s not a compete rebuild from the ground up in a different world with different concepts and themes, but how I would go about a second go around with the series from the base that is already there. If a detail is missing from my musings then assume it is either unchanged or removed, depending on context.

If some of my complaints were addressed after I stopped watching, I honestly don’t much care. If it takes longer than 4 seasons to fix what I view as fundamental problems, then it’s far too little too late for me. I paid scant attention to the series post my stopping point and liked little to none of what I saw.

Please do not take this as a specific attack on anything other than the writing of the show itself. This is not directed or targeted against anyone, regardless of position or feelings on the topic at hand. If you ignore what I just said and decide to take this as an insult, then I say that you need to be more self-secure in your tastes and interests.

Things I would remove + reason why

Silver eyed warriors as a concept- it’s more or less the same concept as dojutsu from Naruto. It’s the fucking sharingan (rubygan). It’s not quite chosen one level, but crap like this is the blight of good protagonists. It’s fucking eugenics that makes you awesome not your own skills or training but on your bloodline. No need for personal development or life-changing hardship when you have a built in power that can be cultivated like a fucking bumper crop.

Maidens- Wasn’t intended originally and only made the overall story more cluttered with power creep and plot device. It’s a similar problem as above. No need for training or anything if people can just kill the person who has the power currently and take if from them. Which, at that point, why do you want that power if you’re already strong enough to kill and take it from the person who has it to begin with? It’s something someone just shouted out and they rolled with it because it sounded cool in the moment.

The Relics- McGuffin dragonballs that serve as plot device and little else. A story can be told without needing to monotonously race for Excalibur or the holy grail. Considering the Maidens, I doubt that the relics were intended in the first place and as such if you can’t tell a story without throwing something in after a few seasons because you realized that you didn’t have a plot, then you’re not that good at telling stories.

Oscar- The show didn’t need more main protagonists when what was already there wasn’t being given enough characterization to begin with. For that matter-

Quite a few characters- The cast is cluttered and convoluted enough as is with seemingly important characters getting the shaft in favor of yet another new character that would barely do anything. Time and effort seems to be put into one-off schmucks that would be better served making the story not need poochie the dog, let alone several. Character integration is not ‘create a character to do one thing and then pretend they don’t exist’. There’s already plenty of characters than can be used wherever.

The overt shipping bait, especially if it’s just going to be taken up or abandoned on a whim- I don’t mean relationship building, I mean the obvious baiting of a relationship that, in the end, might not even happen. All it does is dumb down characters and character arcs, draw out pointless scenes, and make the fans have conniptions one way or another. People are pissed off whenever things don’t go their way with shipping so the only winning move with these people is not to play their game. Looking at you Klance and Zutara. Either don’t do anything or have a fucking plan and stick to it and not make complete swerves when fans get uppity. If it genuinely matters to you, then pretend whatever ship happens at whatever point, I don’t care.

Changes to the world that I think would go over better-

Everyone has a level of aura with a naturally high level generally meaning that they might be able to unlock a semblance. A semblance is unlocked through some sort of specific event, typically a stressful one IE: Yang and Ruby are caught in the woods by grimm and Yang gets frustrated and scared at not being able to defend her sister before getting angry and her rage mode semblance unlocking. Not everyone who unlocks a semblance goes into combat schools but it is a requirement for acceptance into most of them. Having the potential to unlock a semblance seems entirely random but has a higher chance with genetics.

There are two types of semblances: 1 is hereditary like the Schnee glyphs, changing only slightly, if at all, through the generations. 2 is a random personal power like Yang having her rage mode as compared to Raven’s portals. Whichever you get tends to be random with the occasional exception depending on genetics and the specific semblance.

Every 1 in assumedly 10 people who have semblances have the potential to have two semblances, often times, but not necessarily, being one hereditary and one random. The process of unlocking the second semblance involves immense emotional distress and in some cases might not even happen for the individual who has the potential, period, thus skewing data. This gives an enhanced type power but isn’t protagonist exclusive. It shows a higher than average power capacity, but isn’t a gamebreaker to the same level as a fucking kekkei genkai or getting the powers of a fucking demigod. A good amount of characters would only have one semblance and be considerable badasses despite it and even be able to beat a couple of the few that have two.

Establish Menagerie as the official Fifth Kingdom, the newest of the great kingdoms. Maybe not the singularly strongest or most influential, but make it so Menagerie and its people, the faunus, have a considerable role in the world’s affairs, if even from an isolationist standpoint. Don’t have them as even a semi thriving entity that isn’t a kingdom because that only begs the question as to why the kingdoms are so important to begin with then.

Make the White Fang a faunus supremacist group that has very little support, if any, from the faunus people as a whole. Faunus right issues are history for the vast majority of the world and the White Fang as a whole is only using the problems in Atlas with the SDC as a means of trying to gain power. There are actual faunus rights groups trying to make things better for their race in Atlas and other marginalized areas but the White Fang dislikes them on the grounds that they go against their goal and it makes them look even worse.

Fucking pronounce names correctly, I mean, Christ. Weiss, the word, is pronounced like ‘Vice’. It’s an actual fucking word. It’s the German word for white. It’s like saying tor-till-uh not tor-tee-ah. Blake is Bella-doe-nah not Bella-dawn-uh. Shit like that. No you don’t need to put on a heavy accent to say these words but pronouncing things so inaccurately just makes you look like an ignorant rube (no, that was not a pun). I don’t fucking care what your reasons are. Why use these words in the first place if you’re not even going to try to say them right?

Ozpin is order to Salem’s chaos. Ancient demigods of both archetypes vying for power across the ages and the innocent peoples of the world be damned in the crossfire. Neither are entirely good nor evil but both are not exactly helpful to the free peoples on the world and the continued livelihood thereof. Their progenitor god created them to try and guide humanity in a balanced way. That seemed to work at first, but then failed like a bad marriage and they waged war ever since like a bad divorce. The grimm are a creation of Salem’s to test humanity and make then stronger through conflict. Ozpin ranges from the lawman to the fascist fairly duplicitously. The two can only be permanently killed by each other but neither wants to get too close to the other because of that exact same reason. If killed by other means, they will resurrect after a fashion no worse for wear.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Ruby Rose- It is a crime that the titular character has so little actual character beyond just being ‘Hyperactive Anime Protagonist #235’. Most of her (few) character traits are tell not show, and of course she’s got the fucking rubygan bloodline ability crap. She has next to nothing that isn’t allotted by default to most anime protags on the grounds of the stereotype. For the main character to have less character than any of the members of the fucking B-team is a travesty.

1. Give her a clear rebellious streak, a distinct problem with authority, and a headstrong attitude. Daddy doesn’t want her to be in danger, so she decides to become a huntress. She’s told to stay put, so she hunts down Roman. She’s told that she needs to stay home and recover, so she sets out on her own not thinking about the exact consequences. Make her the impetus for the team’s involvement with the problems of the world in the early seasons. Make her a driving part of the plot, not just being along for the ride or because someone else said so.

2. Give her blood knight tendencies. Make her VERY willing to get into a fight with the bad guys, not just fights in general, but fights against bad guys. Nothing over the top, but enough that she has a scene or three where she says “Shut up bad guy, skip to the part where we get to kick the crap out of you,” or something of that nature. Hyper combative characters are fun and ethical.

3. Give her more traits as a mechanic and weapon nerd. Include scenes of her fixing everyone’s weapons for fun or being able to analyze an opponent’s fighting style based on the type, design, and/or wear & tear of their weapon, make her a polyglot of weapons that can be at least proficient in using just about any weapon. Come to think of it…

4. Anything that could give her actual character traits. They don’t even have to be all that major traits, just give her enough so that we actually have a character with more definition than printer paper. She’s the main character, the titular character at that. This isn’t a video game with a blank-slate protagonist. If the main character isn’t even really a character, like, at all, then what’s the fucking point?

5. Convert silver eyes power into a second semblance for white fire vision that kills grimm like nothing else. Gotten as a hereditary semblance from Summer. Which is also why Summer was specifically targeted by Salem on the grounds that it makes her just a little too dangerous for her long-term plans. This makes it so she isn’t just the fucking chosen one, but still has a clear definitive reason to be involved against the big bad because, y’know, dead mom. Yes, this kinda goes into the whole ‘bloodline is what determines importance’ thing I wanted to be rid of, but it’s only a chance two generations instead of a massive lineage of nonsense and keeps more of the onus of involvement on Ruby herself.

6. Give her a very clear motivation that’s deeper than surface level. ‘Oh, I want to do the right thing’ is a flimsy as balls motivation especially compared to the rest of her team that has that AND an actual reason for thinking that way. Why does she want to be the good guy? What happened in her life that makes her this motivated to doing the right thing? Yang has her desire to find her mother (which, come to think of it, doesn’t necessitate being a good guy), Blake has wanting to make up for being a terrorist, Weiss has her desire to step out from under the shadow of her family’s reputation, even fucking Jaune, the b-team protagonist, who wants to live up to his family reputation, has a proper motivation to be involved in the story. WHY is Ruby involved beyond ‘I’m the main character’ level reasoning? As much as admitting it makes me wish to commit Sudoku, even SAO has better main character motivations. Good god, I need hooch after typing that.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Yang Xiao-Long- Her arc was mostly fine, barring some of the pacing. Raven being a maiden undercut the message of ‘screw that deadbeat bitch, go to your real family’ by making her important to the overall world state and confirming a measure of later relevance but that’s more a flaw with Raven than Yang.

1. Keep her motivation about getting strong enough to find her mother but add in the clear desire to kick her ass for leaving her and Tai. Of course it’s more about just getting the answers to her questions, but the ass-kicking should also be a major component.

2. Amp up the rivalry between her and Mercury. Mercury was designed as an opposite to Yang, I mean for fuck’s sake, look at him. Consider their respective backstories too; both raised in a single father home yet one was supported and loved (if a little neglected) while the other was horrifyingly maimed and abused. Punch vs kick. It works.

3. Make her more protective of her little sister, explicitly going along with her personal crusade to keep her safe (safer, rather). If she’s supposed to be the good older sister, maybe just maybe, something more than lip-service to that idea should be done. Hell, maybe she can be overprotective like their father, or even the exact opposite, not really giving a shit and then learning to give one. That might lead to a little tension and growth between the two of them.

4. Make her semblance consistent. Is she supposed to have super saiyan rage mode or is it energy buildup and dispersal? Is it supposed to be both? Just make it rage mode, for the sake of fuck, and don’t flip-flop. Speaking of…

5. Give her anger issues. Flesh out her being the kind of gal that would start a fight in a nightclub when she doesn’t get what she needed with little justification. This would stem from abandonment issues from Raven, Summer (inadvertently), and Tai and her general thrill seeking personality. This could lead to tensions and dramas until she overcomes it and learns to use her aggressive feelings and not let them use her.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Blake Belladonna- Shitty-kitty is shitty, here’s why.

1. Do something with the hypocrisy of being, more or less, princess of Menagerie, a world power albeit a minor one, and joining a band of terrorists that do more harm than good for the people they claim to represent. It’s like a trust-fund baby joining some charity organization in Africa for a few weeks, doing jack-shit to help, joining some jihadists, and then acting like she’s Mahatma Gandhi.

2. Make her arc less about running away and fighting Adam, more about realizing that running is for assholes and try to find her team to at least apologize for cutting and running like she did. Doing that and stopping Adam are not mutually exclusive. The friend thing should be the priority. As it stands she is almost rewarded for abandoning her team just to focus on her own problems.

3. Make her arc involve going from ‘There’s no such thing as pure evil’ to ‘Okay maybe some people are just too evil to work with’. Some people are too far gone and, despite still having good traits, will only ever continue to do evil things and don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone has some sort of good motive beneath the surface and, even then, does that matter when the only action they do is objectively evil? Still, y’know, save who you can, like Ilia.

4. Have Belladonna not actually be her last name. If she’s the daughter of a the chief of Menagerie, the closest thing the faunus have to a unified racial leader, then how the unholy shit does nobody recognize her name? She is, again, princess of Menagerie, yet nobody recognizes the name in a grander context. Have ‘Belladonna’ be a cover name so she can hide her identity better so that she’s using what should be a very recognizable real name in a tournament that is broadcasted worldwide. Her real family name could be “Nightshade” or some shit like that.

5. If she’s supposed to be ‘The quiet one’ maybe actually have her be quiet and not make big speeches every season or have loud arguments with her team. Just a fucking thought. If she’s still supposed to do that, then make her ‘the opinionated one’ or ‘the kind of mean one’ or even ‘the one who doesn’t shut up’. Blake, as seen, or rather heard, is not the quiet one.

6. Have her actually fucking interact with Ruby. Maybe they have a two-person book club. Maybe Blake teaches Ruby to meditate or something. Anything, anything at all would be fine, anything more than nothing at all. Blake’s whole interaction with the team shouldn’t just be through Yang and cursory scenes with Weiss.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Weiss Schnee- You can’t solve racism with like two scenes.

1. Make the racism thing a much more gradual decay rather than more or less disappearing after a single conversation. Hell, make jokes about it, ‘oh, no, one of my best friends is a faunus,’ stuff. It’s hard to unlearn an upbringing of hate, but she’s trying type stuff.

2. Involve her at least a little with the White Fang plot. It only makes sense that the heiress of the company that still more or less has slave labor is at least semi-involved with the plotline involving terrorists that want that company destroyed. Make her subject to assassination attempts at a young age, or even have her been kidnaped at a young age and held hostage, getting her scar in the process.

3. As evident by some of the intros, her rival was supposed to be Emerald. This could be serviceable, at the very least. The street rat pickpocket that had to learn life lessons the hard way and was taken in by the baddies VS. the rich heiress born with a silver spoon but raised by a dickhead. There’s potential there and it is a crime that it is not explored in the slightest. Even Yang and Mercury had a minor fight.

4. Like Yang, make her semblance consistent. Is it supposed to be summoning or physics altering magic symbols? These are two completely different powers, it’s not like super speed also giving super reflexes or whatever. Just make it one or the other, don’t bullshit us on these things. Or, hell, make it a second semblance she gets during the course of story.

5. Emphasize her loneliness. Make the main onus of her personal arc be about how she goes from this prickly, spoiled, opinionated, brat to a warm and caring friend who only wants the best for everyone. Yes, this might be the main intention in canon, but I feel it could have used a little more refining.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Cinder Fall- If she’s supposed to be Ruby’s chief rival and foil then she needs a lot of work to even be close. She shouldn’t be nothing but the rival, but at that same time she should have that be a considerable part of her characterization and role in the series. I feel the best way to do it is to have their similarities highlight their differences in both character and design. Basically, make her the Vergil to Ruby’s Dante.

1. Make her Ruby’s age. Being the same age as Ruby while initially outclassing her, and even veteran hunters, provides risk and contrast between the two. Throw in an evil sadistic streak compared to Ruby’s happy-go-lucky personality to further the contrast and you’ve got a good little yin-yang thing for them. It also shows just how bad someone can turn out if raised to be a killing machine.

2. Keep her using the bow/twin swords as a comparably simple weapon in contrast to Ruby’s, even in universe, overcomplicated Scythe/Sniper rifle. Both weapons are long range marksmen’s weapons as well as vicious close combat weapons but are still very different in essence. Also make sure she keeps the red with black and gold color scheme is contrast with Ruby’s Black with red and silver. Even minor visual cues can work to the rival schema.

3. Make her one of the people who have two semblances. Pyromancy (pyrokinesis? Fire bending, she has fire bending) and dilated perception (bullet time) so that Ruby’s super speed and the dilated perception cancel each other out, adding a little extra tension to the fights now that both parties’ signature abilities are moot points against each other.

4. Make her competent. She kills Ozpin and Pyrrha and then she either fails or draws every fucking fight she has afterwards baring nameless jobbers here and there. Even before that, she needed help to take down Amber and even manages to fuck that up. The more failures she has and the less intimidating she is. Too much of that and she’s just a jobber that makes you wonder why she was ever seen as intimidating in the first place. When that happens then Ruby beating her is just the status quo and not a triumph of any sort.

5. Make her Ruby’s long lost fraternal twin sister. Incredibly cliché, I admit, but siblings make the best rivals, especially twins. Once again, it’s all about adding the similarities and the contrasts. In this case it creates the ‘there but for the grace of god go I’ idea with the two of them. Ruby seeing it as how evil she could have turned out and Cinder seeing it as how weak she could have been (Eventually becoming how good she could have had it because I’m a sucker for redemption arcs) Who said that?

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Team JNPR- JNPR was fine-ish but the over focus on Jaune and the underutilization of Ren + Nora early on are both issues. B-team should not get jack shit before the A-team gets the lions share.

1. Downplay Jaune’s screen time. I doubt this is a particularly controversial statement. Jaune is not the titular character. This is (technically) a shoujo not a shounen. It’s supposed to be about the girls more than the guys. It kind of undercuts that idea when the guy (the side guy at that) gets the lion’s share of characterization, attention, and growth before the girl (the main girl) does.

2. Make Ren and Nora actual characters earlier on. Comic relief is all well and good, but either extend that to the whole team or make these two characters more than just comic relief in the early parts of the story. Make them, y’know, actual characters. They ain’t gotta be all that important, but they do have to be actual characters.

3. Make Pyrrha’s deathflags less blindingly obvious. We all knew Pyrrha was going to get clipped. The self-sacrificing type, all the musical and visual cues throughout, being based on Achilles, and ‘oh she just confessed to the boy she likes’. Homegirl was waving deathflags like an insecure redneck with the confederate flag. When you foreshadow obvious things that much it’s not a surprise to the audience when it happens and the reaction of the in universe characters seems overdone. If it’s not supposed to be a surprise then, whatever, but that’s clearly not the case if you’re going for just shock value. It’s fine for a character to die, but for the love of Jaysus you got to do something with it more than ‘this character’s sole purpose is to die for the angst and to up the stakes’. Pyrrha was just a plot jobber.

4. Make them a little more independent in the overall plot. Give them their own full sub-plots, have them go on their own little adventures, have them do things completely separate from RWBY that has plot relevance but not overtaking the main story in grandeur or importance. B-team gets B-plots and are cool in it of themselves.

Overt changes to (and complaints about) Qrow Branwen- Take or leave this, I just felt the need to include this because reasons.

1. Just make him Dante from Devil May Cry. Just make his personality the same as Dante from Devil May Cry. Make him stylish and cool but low-key a massive dork. He’s too cool to drink or smoke or anything harsher than PG-13. This series could use a guy like that, says I.

2. Make his semblance something that makes sense and isn’t just an angst generator. How do you even quantify ‘bad luck aura’ as a power? Make it short range teleportation as a connection to Raven’s portals. Make it so that he can direct the bad luck at will. Do SOMETHING with it that isn’t just an excuse for mostly pointless character angst.

3. This technically also counts as a Raven change but whatever. Make the Branwen family old nobility and not a loser bandit tribe from nowhere. Or at least make it so they used to rich or something. They come from a family that had a good amount of cash and even a chateau in Mistral. After the money dried up and the chateau ransacked by grimm, the Branwen twins had differing opinions on how to proceed. Qrow fully integrated into the hunter thing while Raven ran away and became a bandit, using it as further excuse to skedaddle on Tai and a recently born Yang.

#RWBY #RWDE #I guess #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Ozpin #Cinder Fall #Tagging this as much as I please #Team JNPR #Jaune Arc #Rewrite #Hate if you wish #How I would do...#Pyrrha Nikos

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rose-tarts-and-angel-hearts · 4 years ago

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Twisted Wonderland OCs; Ignatius Aquarii and Kelly Linette

{Art Credit: Pic crew}

Twisted from Maui from Moana

Name: Ignatius Aquarii

Name meaning: Ignatius; Means fiery one, I chose this name for him as Maui’s name meant “the god of fire” so I tried to choose a name somewhat similar ( hopefully) Aquarii; I took Ignatius’s surname from one of the brightest stars in his zodiac sign; Aquarius, the star’s full name is ‘beta Aquarii’

Age: 16

Birthday: February 9

Star sign: Aquarius

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ESTP- A

Alinement: Chaotic good

Gender: Male

Height: 184cm (6ft)

Hair Color: White #ffffff with strands of very pale blue hair #ebebff

Eye Colour: Very light blue #94caff

Dominate Hand: Ambidextrous

Homeland: Land of Pyroxene

Species: Human

School: Noble Swan University

Dorm: Riffmond

Year: 1st

Occupation: Student

Club: Basketball club

Best Subject: Practical magic

Favorite Food: Sashimi, Unagi (freshwater eel), roast or fried chicken

Least Favorite Food: Fried Eggs

Likes: tattoos, The beach, Telling/ Boasting about his achievements.

Dislikes: People who don’t walk the talk ( In other words, People who does not do what one said one could do, or would do, not just making empty promises. ), nagging

Hobby: Surfing, Playing the guitar, DJ’ing

Talents: Shadow puppets, Arcade games, Lock picking

Unique Magic: ink world

Ignatius has the ability to send people into an ‘ink world’ in their minds, which leaves them in a vulnerable and dazed state. To explain in detail, the person Ignatius uses his unique magic on, turns unresponsive as if they are in a trance. ( For example In the song “ You’re welcome” Moana was in a different (?) world in her head while her body was spun into a cave so that Maui could steal her boat. )

Appearance

Ignatius is Tall and pretty muscular, with naturally tanned skin. He has light cyan-ish eyes that are slightly pointed and upturned, his hair is white with strands of very pale blue hair, that is brushed back, he has a short blue braid hanging down the right side of his face. Ignatius has many ear piercings and Tattoos, ( on his upper body, neck, chest, arms ) he proudly displays them by wearing a black singlet, and an unbuttoned white collared shirt that is slightly pulled down to show off the tattoos he got on his shoulder. He wears black cargo pants that are secured with a black belt and are tucked into military boots. His purple dorm ribbon is tied on one of the belt loops (?). He also dons many silver rings and an enchanted charm bracelet made by Kelly.

Personality

Ignatius gives off a rather..hmm what’s that word...oh oh! F-boy impression, as he’s always teasing and seems to not be serious about anything, but he’s actually quite a sweetheart, going out of his way to help people he considers friends, though he may be quite mischievous and tactless. Ignatius is rather boastful and egotistical, which would usually lead people like him into trouble since he’s a quite rash person, but he doesn’t get into physical fights, he usually uses his unique magic to just embarrass the person in some way. Though Ignatius make act like a dumb dumb sometimes, he’s actually really smart, both street smart and academically, in terms of grades he comes in fourth place in his level. He can be rather perceptive too and will show care and concern for those he cares about, but mostly prefers to keep things fast-paced and silly rather than emotional or serious.

Backstory

Ignatius’s mother remarried a wealthy business man a few years after Ignatius was born. ( Ignatius’s father passed away before he was born) As Ignatius’s step-father didn’t have any kids of his own, he doted a lot on Ignatius, thus spoiling him a lot. Ever since Ignatius was young he showed a lot of potential and talent of being a good wizard, thus receiving a lot of praise from his parents, teachers, and friends. This soon got to his head, and he became very arrogant and disrespectful towards people he considered ‘lower’ than himself, he lost a lot of friends in the process, and was out casted by most of them. At first Ignatius acted like he was fine with people ignoring him, though he actually felt a bit lonely inside. Soon he grew tired of people out casting him but was too prideful to apologize, so he decided to play truant, his mindset was changed after meeting an ‘angel’ during one of his escapes.

Trivia

-Ignatius is ambidextrous but prefers to use his left hand.

-He has 10 ear piercings in total, and over 16 tattoos

-He got his first tattoo at 13 years old ( His mother screamed at him when she found out )

-He has 1 ‘magic tattoo’ on his arm of a mini him, Ignatius will ‘activate’ mini Ignatius to dance and perform on the other tattoos he has to entertain people.

-Kelly used to be the one who’ll braid his hair but since they’re in different dorms, he recently learned to do it himself.

-Ignatius is horrible at cooking thus he hates fried eggs as he doesn’t know how to control the heat, so his eggs always end up burnt.

-Ignatius would be in Scarabia if he went to NRC

{ART CREDIT: top-left to right; Drawing done by me ( I know it sucks..sorry for scaring your eyes), Picture from V roid Mobile, Picture from Pic crew. Middle-Left to right; Yerenica from seduce the villain’s father ( I thought they looked pretty similar! Hence why I used her photo here.), Kelly’s uniform link here!, Yerenica, Bottom-Left to right; V roid mobile, Yerenica, V roid mobile}

Name: Kelly Linette

Name meaning: Kelly; Means warrior or Bright minded ( In Kelly’s case I wanted to utilize both meanings in her name, As I wanted her to be both smart and strong, someone who does not give up easily, and uses her wit and intelligence to solve problems.) Linette; Means pretty one. The name is also derived from a songbird, the Linnet. ( I wanted to use this as her surname as I wanted her to be pretty I wanted this to symbolize how she’s good at singing, like how linnet birds are known for their melodious voices.)

Age: 15 (She’s a year younger as she skipped a level/grade)

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ENFJ- T

Alinement: Neutral Good

Gender: Female

Height: 147 cm ( 4′10ft )

Hair Color: Very pale pink #ffe9f0

Eye colour: Very light Cyan #87d6eb

Dominate Hand: Right

Homeland: Empire of Fortune

Species: Human

School: Noble Swan University

Dorm: Briable

Year: 1st

Occupation: Student, famous singer

Club: Board Game Club

Best Subject: Magical Enchantments

Favorite Food: Strawberry and Milk Kakigori , Spicy food

Least Favorite Food: Cilantro

Likes: Winning, free time

Dislikes: Disappointing others/letting people down, People who shrink away from their responsibilities.

Hobby: Making enchanted Charm bracelets, exercising

Talents: Singing, weight lifting, reading and manipulating people

Unique Magic: Lucky Stars

Kelly’s Unique Magic is called “Lucky Stars”. This ability gives her an automatic and continuous supply of good luck, she’s able to use this ability by saying “ Star light, star bright, The first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight” , whenever she recites this things will always turn in her favor, be it a test or a battle, her wishes will always come true, she is able to project this into her charm bracelets, though it’s not as effective and acts more like warding charm, she’s only able to use her unique magic for a total of 40 minutes in a day, as it takes a lot of magic and effort to keep it up.

Appearance

Kelly is short and petite, with a very fair complexion. She has long pastel pink hair that is styled in a half-up do tied with her dorm ribbon, her hair ends below her butt. She has big doe like eyes that are a pale cyan, which are framed by long and thick eyelashes.(very pretty! I wanna be pretty too~~) She has a very innocent doll-like appearance. She wears grey checkered uniform ( uniform in the picture! but the skirt ends around her mid-thigh) with a ribbon of her dorm colour, tied around her collar and is secured with a white and gold brooch, she wears black mary jane shoes with lacey white ankle socks. She has a very ethereal-angel-ish vibe overall.

Personality

Kelly is very kind and understanding person, accepting everyone as they are and doesn’t judge anyone, she’s a passionate altruist, warm and selfless, sometimes even to a fault. However, Kelly is quite manipulative, she’s gifted in people reading and is natural-born leader, full of passion, charismatic charm and a natural confidence that begets influence, she isn’t always manipulating people to hurt them or for personal gain, she simply wants people to do more or better because it will benefit them or help them realize some potential. She’s likeable and trustworthy and, as a result, others are generally compelled to listen and follow her. Though Kelly can and will purposely manipulate those who treat her friends badly. Kelly has good control of her behavior and words, but she will purposely snap to those who try to use her or her friends, before simply covering up her actions with her silver tongue. “ Can’t you put on a better show for me? pretty please!” * Smiles cutely* Despite having a natural confidence, she defines her self-esteem by whether she’s are able to live up to others’ ideals, so she’s quite insecure, always wondering about what she could’ve done better. If she fails to meet a goal or people’s expectations of her, her self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet.

Backstory

Kelly came from quite a normal family, if having renowned parents were considered normal at least, her father was a famous fashion designer and her mother, a world-wide known actress, both ‘fell in love’ after Kelly’s mother was scouted as the main model for her father’s brand. Since Kelly’s parents were very prominent people in the entertainment world, she been in the spotlight since she was born. As both of Kelly’s parents were workaholics, she was often brought along business trips and photoshoots, she was famous among scouters for her beauty and sweet voice, thus it wasn’t long before Kelly herself was offered contracts. One of her contracts required her to go to the Land of Pyroxene for an advertisement, where she met a peculiar boy.

Trivia

- Kelly has a insanely high spice tolerance, she can probably eat a Carolina reaper like it’s a snack.

- Kelly doesn’t know how to use social media so she doesn’t have a magicam account...(yet)

- 1st in her grade for studies.

- Kelly has wavy hair that tangles easily, it may look super soft to run your fingers through-and it is-only if you can get through the knots first.

- Kelly is very innocent she doesn’t understand about *cough reproduction cough*

- Isn’t educated in the way of memes, trends, vines, slang.

- Kelly is gifted in singing, but she’s horrible with music instruments.

- Known as the ‘Angel’ in NSU.

- F e n c i n g

- Kelly may be small in size, but she’s surprisingly strong! She could probably carry Jack around all day if she wanted to.

-Puppy dog eyes 24/7

- Kelly sucks at computer games or any online game.

@twistinghearts @nobleswansong ( Hehe! I was anon who asked if I could tag you! I hope these OCs aren’t made super badly...)

#noble swan university #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland fandorm #twisted wonderland fan school #NSU #twistinghearts #nobleswansong

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cursewoodrecap · 3 years ago

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Session 22: Five-Dimensional Man-Go

This is a session I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time. I get to introduce three of my favorite characters in the entire campaign.

In the real world it’s been a while, but this was the session we officially welcomed a new chaos goblin player to the table. And damn, am I glad we did.

Valeria goes to Hoeska’s armor smiths for some upgrades, and accidentally kicks off a goth fashion montage. Her new armor has gorgeous black detailing with purple rose accents, accessorized with a brand-new Shusva-skin bag with matching claw clasp. Gral picks up a fancy Shusva-leather cloak and belt. Shoshana, realizing that a vampire’s castle is basically a Hot Topic, gets some fishnet arm warmers to accompany her fang necklace. We also get some healing potions and hope they aren’t made from lost souls or anything.

Valeria resummons Aethis, who pops back into existence in a burst of glitter that’s entirely incongruous with the local grim aesthetic. Apparently celestial gators are only mildly inconvenienced by fatalities.

As we hitch up the horses to get back on the road, we find out Ser Boris is also preparing to head out. “Woods full of many nasty creatures. Must keep hunting! Maybe I find way down to Barroch, I have heard monsters are attacking workers there.”

Gral perks up at the name of his people’s capitol. “I’m sure the orcs will treat you well. What kind of monsters are they dealing with?”

“Wolves, bears, maybe werewolf? I will find out when I get there! Cursebreakers do not have much of working relationship with orcs, so info is scattered. That is why I must investigate!”

While he heads south into orc territory, we’re gonna go north toward Sturmhearst to look into all the Key nonsense Professor Bjork told us is goin’ down. It’ll be a long trip; it’s on the coast, and we’re well into the heartland of the wood. As we get closer, we’re gonna have to look for new maps, too – the patchwork of safe zones and Curse disasters changes rapidly, and the roads that were passable a month ago might be deathtraps today.

We trek for several blessedly uneventful days. One night, in a region where a sizable number of halflings have settled, we have the fortune of seeing an inn on the horizon as night starts to fall. A sign proclaims the Fusilier’s Rest, a combination winery and inn located on a lush vineyard. Valeria’s kind of suspicious of anything too plant-based right now, but the rest of us totally want a winery tour.

We hitch up our wagon next to a post labeled Valet Parking. Aethis parks themself in the stables. Looking at the place, with its rather low doorframe and quaintly painted décor, we suspect Demish wine snootery instead of weird plant cults.

We duck through the door and take in the scene. It’s on the upscale end of totally normal, with locals sitting around eating and a huge pot of Demish onion soup bubbling on the hearth. The old halfling bartender is wearing pieces of a worn but well-cared-for blue-and-gold uniform. Two polished old pistols hang within reach on the wall, along with a pristine old Fusille musket in a place of honor behind the bar. Shiny medals in a handmade case are proudly displayed atop the bar.

As is D&D protocol, we look around for any notably wacky characters. We find them in the corner: an old man with unkempt white hair and multi-lensed, colorful glasses, engrossed in a game of Man-go against a young human doctor. We know he’s a doctor, because he’s got a stubby-beaked Sturmhearst mask pushed up to expose a tired but friendly face. His coat might once have been a lab coat, but it’s since been patched and sutured together so many times that it’s probably done a full ship-of-Theseus. His right arm is in a makeshift sling, and he’s nursing a small glass of Kevan vodka; probably the closest thing they have to rotgut moonshine in a wine-snob place like this.

We’re like, neat. Let’s eat soup.

Valeria orders a local vineyard wine and chats with the bartender about it. “The man who runs it is a madman; he thinks he can grow good wine grapes in Valdia. But he pays my sister well, she does her best.”

“Oh, don’t listen to René, his sister does marvelous work! No halfling will admit that wine grown outside Demionde will be more than spoiled grape juice,” teases one of the local barflies.

Gral asks Valeria who’s winning the Man-go game. The old man is rambling pleasantly, barely paying attention, and he is absolutely crushing the young doctor. The doctor looks like he’s totally aware he’s being taken to the cleaners, but he’s gonna let the old guy have his fun. As the game draws to a close, the younger man smiles ruefully and hands over a few coins. Meanwhile, the old fella, his eyes magnified to mismatched sizes by his funky glasses, spots our most conspicuous party member.

“Kyr! How’s the wine?” he calls, beckoning her over.

“Quite good actually!” Valeria chirps. “Was that the Kiloni maneuver?”

“Yes, or a variant I picked up somewhere! The Killam maneuver…kilometer…kilowatt? Something of the sort.”

Valeria very much wants to play him, and the old guy’s defeated opponent is happy to trade her his spot. The young man’s propped up leg hits the ground with a suspiciously loud clunk as he vacates his chair for her.

The old man peers up at her, bright-eyed even behind multiple layers of glass. “So what brings a Knight of the Rose here?”

“We’re headed to Sturmhearst, actually!”

“I see! I’ve heard the roads between here and there are pretty tricky to travel, you know.”

“No kidding. Do you have an updated map?”

He snaps his fingers. “No, but I just came from there! I’ve got an old map and I can easily update it for you kids. René is on night watch, I’ll leave it with him so you don’t have to stay up waiting for me to finish it. I know a route that’ll get you there lickety-split and safe as trousers! Now let me guess, you played at the clubs in Aurentium? You have the look about you.”

“Not the clubs, precisely…”

“Ah! Street rules, then!”

Valeria, who played Man-go against literally everyone who would have her, shrugs. “Maybe?”

“René, we’ll need some cups and a dumb hat!” the old man calls.

The young doctor wanders over to the bar and gets a refill, settling down next to Shoshana. “Hey, wanna bet on their game? The old guy’s pretty sharp.”

Shoshana laughs. “Oh, my friend is definitely gonna lose. I’ll put a silver on her, though, out of loyalty.”

It’s an odd game to spectate. Valeria falls behind early on; an insight check shows he’s not cheating, he’s just VERY good. Oh, and also Valeria’s assuming an entirely different set of house rules than this guy, and it’s tripping her up. Wait, are we doing street style, or dock style? Anyway, Valeria’s wearing the dumb hat now. At one point they both spit on the board.

“Y’know, I’ve never seen anyone from Sturmhearst take the mask off,” Shoshana says to her new drinking buddy, watching the game with confusion.

“On the clock, it’d be a safety hazard! But off the clock, eh, it’s fine. Some people get more elitist than me about it, I’m a hometown Valdian through and through.”

(You’re from Joisey, I’m from Joisey! What exit?)

“I haven’t actually been to the university since the Curse started, but I’m heading back to research some stuff I found out up in the Grammelsmarsh swamps. Some real disconcerting stuff regarding undead, and the like. The locals refer to it as the Wailing Wight.”

Shoshana gives him a once-over, rolling a decent Perception. He’s scruffy, though that could mostly be from hard travel, and definitely looks like he’s had a rough time of it. His arm’s in a sling and the little exposed skin Shoshana can see has more than its share of nicks and scars. His gait when he walked over was slightly uneven, one leg making a suspiciously heavy thunk against the wooden floor. Over his shoulder, he’s carrying a long, heavy case sealed with tar for waterproofing.

Hold up. She points to the case. “Do you have an alive guy in there?”

“…Uh.”

“You hesitated, and that’s not great.”

“Uh…no. No, I do not have an alive guy in here,” he says awkwardly.

“Okay, because the last time there was a weird bag, there was a whole-ass dude in there, and it turned into a whole thing.”

“N-no, no no no, there’s no person in the case,” he protests, not quite meeting Shoshana’s judgy cat eyes. He definitely doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, even though the case has started gently twitching.

Meanwhile, old Man-Go man has proved himself quite fluent in Draco-Aquilian, though with an unmistakable mammalian accent. Gral butts into the lively conversation when it winds back to Valdian. “It seems like you’re rather well traveled. What is your profession?”

“Oh, y’know, I go here and there. I’ve been around. There’s so much to see out there!”

Valeria smiles. “I can’t fault you there. Anything in particular you’re looking for?

“I go wherever the winds take me, mostly,” he says, as if Cursewood travel isn’t the most dangerous hobby since they invented pyromancer cookoffs.

Valeria, impressively, only loses the game by a little. The old man jovially shakes her hand and promises to go get started on that map to Sturmhearst for us, springing to his feet with surprising deftness for his age and bustling up toward his room.

Gral and Shoshana, meanwhile, are busy makin’ friends with the doctor guy. “What swamp were you fighting undead in?”

“The Grammelsmarsh? It’s downriver of Mornheim.”

“Ohhh! We heard some, uh, adventurers did a purifying ritual on the river. It might help your situation?”

“That’s great, but…I dunno. Once you mix in swamp gas, things get a lot more interesting.”

“The explosions kind of interesting?”

“…Sometimes.”

The players have noticed that our doctor friend here is, like…not an NPC, there’s another guy at the table (the same player as Isadora! :D), so we start sizing each other up as travel companions.

“You seem like a pretty decent guy,” Gral says, immediately insight checking.

“I mean, you guys seem on the up-and-up too?”

Shoshana winks at him. “Well, I’m not that up-and-up but these two are very diplomatic and important.”

“If you’re also headed up to Sturmhearst, it might make sense for us to travel together? I’m not very quiet,” he admits, knocking on his knee with a clang, “but if you-“

“Hello!” Valeria, hearing clanking, has clanked over loudly to join. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service!”

“Uh, hi! I’m Vigdor. I’m a doctor! I mean, you knew that, with the, uh-“ He points to his bird mask. “If you need any balms or salves – I mean, I’m mostly a surgeon, but I know some herbology.”

Is that so! We chat about Dr. Ulmus and Dr. Kjeller. Everyone loves Dr Kjeller!

“I’ve heard of Dr. Kjeller! I haven’t met the guy, but he’s the leading expert on troll physiology. Getting him to come lecture hasn’t worked out so far.”

We ask René the innkeeper about any local threats. Apparently this town’s gotten lucky; the biggest threats recently have just been bandits and one overaggressive badger.

“Oh yeah, one of my cats fought one of those, it went badly,” Shoshana remembers. “For the badger, I mean. I have weird cats.”

(The inn also has cat. His name is Jean Clawed.)

Eventually we all head upstairs. As the night bears on, the girls fall asleep, presumably after painting each other’s toe claws and gossiping. Gral’s still awake, practicing his lute in the rare luxury of a single room, when he pauses. Something doesn’t sound right.

Putting his lute aside, he listens cautiously at the window and feels a deep dread grow in his stomach. The faint scent of ozone drifts in the air. The crickets and night birds have gone dead silent, and in the unsettling quiet he can hear the terrible growling, piping sound he’s heard twice before: once in a house in a hole, and once as Bullbreaker’s expedition faced its destruction.

With great urgency and no volume control, Gral sends a Message to a sleeping Shoshana: “RED ALERT, KEY SHIT’S HERE.” Shoshana wakes up and kicks Valeria.

Gral then sends a Message to our new friend Vigdor, more calmly. “If you have weapons, get them now. Something is happening, it’s going to be dangerous.”

The early warning lets Vigdor and Valeria armor up, Shoshana helping Valeria buckle on the heavy pieces in a hurry. Meanwhile, Gral sprints downstairs, casting Mirror Image as he goes.

René the innkeeper is cleaning his fusille with practiced precision, humming an old marching song. Gral can hear something moving in the kitchen behind the old halfling, so he pops another stealthy Message cantrip. “This is the orc from earlier. I think something bad is in the kitchen – I’ve heard that noise before. Hold on tight to that musket, I’m going in.”

“The back door is locked, I would have heard someone come in,” the old soldier whispers back.

“These things don’t use doors,” Gral hisses.

A 17 Persuasion convinces René, who loads a bullet into his musket. “Where are those friends of yours?”

A heavy clank from upstairs answers that question, as Vigdor and Valeria thud toward the stairs. Gral scopes out the room and sees, on the bar, a big leather map case. The map from the Man-Go guy! Then he peers into the kitchen and, yup, that’s a fleshhound, all right.

Everyone else upstairs bursts into the hall just as a second fleshhound emerges into existence next to them. Shoshana, without hesitation, hits it with a gout of flame. Its strange ethereal flesh solidifies for a moment, but then it shakes itself and charges forward, its displacement energy restored.

Meanwhile, the one downstairs doesn’t aim for Gral or René, trying to run past them. Gral plays a discordant note on his lute, using his Minor Key at the opposite frequency to its vibration and preventing it from displacing, before he strikes. A spectral, scarred orc swings a warhammer down on the creature, Thrice-Burned’s ghost getting some payback as Gral’s blade strikes true.

René takes a shot with his musket and crit-fails, understandably freaked out by the writhing mass of teleporting tentacles, the wild shot careening directly into Gral. Luckily, it only pops a Mirror Image, but everyone upstairs hears a frustrated yell of “NO. FRIEND! ME FRIEND!”

Vigdor dashes past Valeria to the stairs, his previously-motionless arm reaching out of its sling to slap her on the armor with a resounding clash of metal. A silver Jotunn rune glows through the cloth of his sleeve, and she feels Protection from Good and Evil snap into place over her. She takes the cue and stabs the hound, rose vines bursting from her trident and stabbing their long thorns into its oddly flickering flesh.

The pupils on the Eyegis snap to the space behind the beast. Our normal eyes see nothing, but the Key-aligned shield’s eyes see a magical gate, faintly connected to the hound.

As a member of the Order of the Rose, Valeria’s trained to deal with fiendish incursions. This isn’t a portal to the Hells, but she thinks it might get closed similarly. As she charges forward to deal with it, everything seems to move twice as fast as it should: the Key’s spatial distortion has made certain areas the opposite of difficult terrain, where you can move double your speed. Nyoom!

Shoshana zaps it with lightning and heads downstairs to help Gral, who’s being slapped by tentacles. The zapped one flees toward the portal, but Valeria Sentinels and stabs it to death. The downstairs hound gets its tentacles into the real Gral.

Vigdor moves to Gral’s aid, ripping away the last of his sling and clamping a large circular blade to his forearm. With the pull of a ripcord, it loudly whirs into motion. As the Buzzing Butcher slams into the displacer hound with a gory squelch, he asks about sneak attack, like a rogue!

A very, very loud rogue.

Gral breaks away from the hound’s tentacles and looks around. Through the windows, more fleshhounds have appeared outside. The space outside is warped – leaving this inn is going to be very difficult while all this nonsense is going on. The lights of the vineyard seem miles away.

However, Gral realizes, the hound responded to the sound of his lute. And when he used his Minor Key he caught a glimpse of the portal it came through. He begins to play again, using the Minor Key to try to take control of it. The GM allows him to burn a 3rd level spell slot for a colossal roll of 33. He moves the portal inside a wall, to temporarily block anything coming through.

René takes a shot at the remaining hound and misses.

Valeria, upstairs, draws her chained sword and spends a 1st level slot to try to close the portal, the same way paladins close Infernal gateways. The chains of Rack extend from the sword and stitch the portal shut.

(Gral and Valeria each gain inspiration for using Portal Trixx!)

A Thing Occurs at initiative 0, and we hear strange piping coming from the stables. We’re kind of occupied, so we trust Aethis to bite anything that bothers the horses.

Shoshana sprints down the stairs and to the bar. Aw, there’s another flesh hound coming in from the kitchen. Her Chill Touch misses, and the new monster slaps Gral.

Vigdor nyooms through a Zoom, which makes some Really Weird doppler effects happen with his clanky leg and his buzzy arm. He slides across the bar like an action hero and slams his saw down, missing the hound and showering the room in a hail of splinters.

Valeria is still upstairs, and it is LOUD downstairs. She’s gonna dash to get the heck down there and rejoin the festivities.

Gral Phantasmal Forces the new fleshhound, and in its mind, horrible liquid tendrils emerge from the soup pot and constrict around it. The soup rises to the defense of the Fusilier’s Rest!

René gets his wits about him and takes a pistol shot at the nearer fleshhound, tagging it with a bullet and keeping it in place. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUR POLICY IS NO PETS! I will not make an exception for you, you do NOT seem particularly polite!”

The fleshhound grabs the map case off the bar and starts to run for it. René hits it with the butt of his rifle. The second hound can’t attack Vigdor since it’s too busy convincing itself soup isn’t dangerous, so Vigdor’s free to draw his pistol and unload a Sneak Attack bullet into the fleeing hound’s back.

René reloads his musket. It’s been a long time since he’s done it under fire, but the Royal Fusilier Corps of Demionde does not half-ass their training.

The portal the hound’s heading for bisects a wall now, so it might be hard for the hound to get through. Before it can worry about that, though, it comes face to face with Valeria, who’s ready to rumble. She kills it, dropping the map to the ground, and skitters through the Zoomy Zone to try to trident the second hound. It displaces out of the way.

Gral seizes control of another portal, and this time decides to use it to see what’s going on. He tries to hop out to the stables, where that weird noise is coming from. He enters a weird nether space full of the flickering bodies of fleshhounds, writhing and blinking, which the DM calls the Threshold. Gral accepts psychic damage to see what’s going on, and the patterns become clearer as the Key takes hold temporarily in his brain. These portals all connect to each other and the Threshold at the same time. Whatever’s out in the stables, making that eerie piping noise, is tied to the portals – it can’t fully exist in our realm. So if you close all the portals, it’ll force that thing to leave; if you drive it away, the portals will close. Either way, the Key’s influence on this place will fade.

Oh, and that thing out in the stables? It’s the Lurke r again.

Gral’s old enemy wrests control of the portal back from Gral, who stumbles back out into the inn, reeling from the sudden whammy of Key taint.

Shosha shoots lightning at the nearest hound, which retaliates by leaping through her, disrupting her matter with its own. It’s a highly unpleasant experience. A new hound jumps out of the portal next to Valeria. As Vigdor, Shoshana, and René all attack, Gral shuts another portal with his lute’s magic. “Guys, there’s something horrible in the stables!” he shouts. “If we bust enough portals it’ll go away!”

The Lurker continues to make mysterious dice rolls, but apparently it’s rolling poorly, so we don’t quite find out what it’s up to. It peers through one of the last few portals, only visible to Gral and the Eyegis. It’s hard to get a good look at, fifth-dimensional as it is, but it’s weirdly humanoid, actually? It’s surrounded by floating lanterns and holding some sort of pipe or flute.

(The DM notes that Jean Clawed is awake and doesn’t see why any of this is his business. He’s capable of using the portals; he’s not Key tainted, that’s just how cats are.)

We exchange blows with the remaining hounds, Chromatic Orbs flying and chainsaws buzzing. René bayonets a hound to death, for the honor of all NPCs.

Gral powerslides on his knees across the Zoomy Zone, playing a complicated riff, woobling himself right through the fireplace into the kitchen. He spends another level 3 spell slot to get the portal to dance itself shut. “And that was Through the Fire and Flames!”

René reloads his gun. Shoshana blasts the hound with fire, so Vigdor’s action goes off and he chainsaws it to death, the body and spine getting caught in the spinning chain. FATALITY.

The searing light of Shoshana’s fire casts sharp shadows on the walls of the inn, which begin to writhe and re-form, swirling together into a lithe, snarling feline shape that springs toward the Lurker. It pounces with an odd, broken yowl that’s incredibly familiar – although Valeria and Gral have only ever heard it once, from underneath an overturned laundry basket.

Vigdor, who’s never met a flesh-hound OR a cursecat before, makes an arcana check to figure out what in the seven hells is going on. It seems some sort of entity is thinning the barriers between realities? Its very essence seems to be intermingled with portal; it cannot fully leave the portal or exist in this realm. Like a malevolent, sentient pair of curtains.

He’s like okay, curtains sound like something I can chainsaw. It’s curtains for you, see? (Fun fact: if he rolls 21 or higher on attack roll with chainsaw, he gets sneak attack regardless of other circumstances. Because it’s a goddamn CHAINSAW.)

The Lurker turns its attention directly on us, or at least to the enormous hissing cat hellbent on ruining its day. Gral, still strumming furiously, realizes the Lurker’s only got a couple of portals left. He’s closed a portal already; he’s gonna try to close all of them for good. The DM imposes disadvantage and a brutal pile of psychic damage, but Gral is unphased, hitting a power chord that shakes the entire inn.

The Lurker screeches and reaches for him, the space around Gral beginning to warp, but it’s too late, the portal slamming shut against it. The Zoomy Zones vanish; the portals close, the strange atmosphere fades. The road looks to be the size it was before instead of an endless stretch of packed earth; the vineyard is once again an easy ten-minute walk away.

His big solo complete, Gral sways and collapses unconscious. Valeria runs over and Lays On Hands so he doesn’t die, while Vigdor starts casting Mending on the destroyed bar furniture. Shoshana, meanwhile, just stares dumbstruck at the place where a huge spectral cat is dissipating into shadowy smoke.

“…Schmendrick?”

René is holding himself together, but he’s an old man and it’s been a while since he fought this much. He took a bit of damage; Valeria pat pats him some HP. “Thank you, Kyr. I…I need to check on my other guests. The old man with the Man-Go game, we must find out if he lives.”

Valeria accompanies him upstairs. Rack’s glowing rose vines are still visible, stitching the portal shut; it’s healing more quickly than Valeria’s used to seeing. The door to the old man’s room swings open under Valeria’s cautious knock. The bed is unmade but empty, and the old man’s luggage is gone. The only things left are a generous tip on the counter and his odd multicolored glasses.

As Vigdor steps outside to clean viscera off his chainsaw, Gral scopes out the stables. There’s evidence of disturbed earth around the grounds, but nothing conclusive. Aethis seems to be unbothered.

We reconvene without much to show for our investigation. But we have one last clue: Why were the hounds so interested in the old man’s map? We spread it out on one of the bar tables and crowd around. It’s a map of Valdia, but the path it shows us to take to Sturmhearst makes No Sense. It’s not even contiguous! It tells us to start here and wander north, and then the line cuts off next to some scribbled equations, the route picking up again elsewhere, where he’s drawn a symbol we don’t recognize – and so on, in strange and nonsensical disconnected paths.

Shoshana, on a hunch, puts on the multicolored glasses the old man left behind. Like 3D glasses, they reveal the hidden image. Through the kaleidoscopic lenses, she can see remnants of the Key’s influence all around the inn; the fading Zoomy Zones and closing portals light up in ultraviolet. The map, meanwhile, has gained an entirely new dimension, like a layer of holographs. NOW the shortcuts make sense – they route through other dimensions along the z-axis, with additional symbols and labels giving helpful hints.

To be honest, it does look like a much faster route. And one of the notes says it leads to the “Drowned City” – hey, isn’t that where Bullbreaker ended up? But we’re all rightfully wary of hopping right back into another flesh-hound portal disaster.

We now have the Extradimensional Map and the Stranger’s Glasses.

Oh! The map has a note for us: “Happy Journeys to a fellow master of the game. Your friend, T.T.”

We immediately rifle through our notes and realize he may have been Professor Trevor Twombly, Headmaster of Sturmhearst. Vigdor, did you know that guy?!

Vigdor didn’t recognize him. Maybe the guy looked like Twombly, if you squint? There were a lot of old men at Sturmhearst, and they wear masks most of the time? Also he had distracting glasses? So, like…maybe?

As we bicker, Vigdor snags the glasses off the table and heads to his room, opening up his case and taking a look. The lenses don’t reveal anything new about the object inside.

Unfortunately, the poor rogue didn’t bother to stealth. “Whatcha doin’ in here?” says Valeria, who followed shortly behind.

“Um, just looking at my leg, seeing if anything is weird-“

Valeria immediately checks Vigdor’s lower limbs for wounds. “I can help! An extra pair of hands can always-”

“No, no! I think I’m okay! Really!” he protests. He glances into the case again, clearly torn, and sighs. “Let me explain.”

He lifts a whole human leg out of the case, kicking and twitching.

“This is my leg, and I’m taking it to Sturmhearst. I’m not sure if it’s wholly mine anymore.”

Through his torn pants, Valeria can see a clunky clockwork leg to match his buzz-saw arm.

One player immediately yells “FULL METAL ALCHEMIST.” Another player says it again, in a slightly different voice.

Dr. Vigdor Gavril has joined the party!

#the cursewood #session recap #the key #valeria argent #gral omokk'duu #shoshana bat chaya #vigdor gavril #schmendrick #trevor twombly

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fmdrohan · 4 years ago

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hello, hi ! 👋🏽 i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎 lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ intro.#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ plot call.

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keyders · 4 years ago

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full name: montana kıvanç keyder (pronounced kuh-vanch kai-dir). nicknames: tan. gender and pronouns: cis man, he / him. age: thirty. date of birth: may 17, 1990. hometown: pleasance, ohio. nationality: american. religion: muslim. sexual and romantic orientation: bisexual biromantic. occupation: author & stand up comedian. living arrangements: lives with his family and a boarder (PLS GIVE ME THE BOARDER) languages spoken: english, conversational turkish. strange history: the death ranch.

trigger warnings: assault, death, injury, pregnancy.

this is the clown montana, but u can just call him tan. he grew up in pleasance but moved to seattle around 10-ish years ago to study law ( but also bc he had a falling out with his ex-bestie @kincadedonnelly which just made the decision to study out of state so much easier ) and only just returned last december!

tan is the middle child of three. he has an older brother and a younger sister. their family used to own a mom and pop store that has since then been bought out by alby and turned into the pleasance general store under new management in 2000. his father had since turned to various enterprises to try and support the family which included carpentry and being a delivery truck driver. his mother, on the other hand, took to music tutoring on the weekends apart from being a high school teacher. needless to say, things had been pretty tough financially on the family since alby took their business away from them.

growing up, tan was p much....mediocre. which was never a dirty word for him, but it was to his parents. it was actually their dream for him to become a lawyer, which he wasn’t exactly opposed to, mostly because he didn’t really have anything else in mind.

he had enough in the way of friends, played sports, did ok in school. wasn’t super smart but also wasn’t at the bottom. he just coasted by and it was fine. he was fine. at least he was funny.

when he was 21, he was accepted into law school thru a scholarship at the university of washington. it was the first time he’d ever really gone out of state, let alone lived away from home on his own.

but seattle treated him well. it was there that he was able to explore more of who he was and what he wanted to be—and really wanted to be—which was, to no one’s surprise, not to become a lawyer, but a writer. a storyteller. but knowing that he couldn’t come home without a law degree, he sought to finish his four-year stay and make his parents proud all the while harboring words in his journal as a hobby.

he was out drinking with his friends when he got into a drunken fight with another patron for some dumb reason he couldn’t even remember anymore even if he tried. it really started early into the night but then hours later when the group was set to go home, they had run into the patron and his friends outside. tan couldn’t keep his blasted mouth shut and the long and short of it is that he’d ended up in the hospital with a dislocated jaw, a broken nose, and a lesion in his brain after he took a crowbar to the head. he was on his last semester of law school.

which, of course, put a damper on his parents’ plans of finally having a lawyer in the family. and it took a while, but throughout the frustration of relearning how to put a shirt on or the staring spells he would have in the living room or the fact that he started having atonic seizures that required a service dog in his aid, he decided to see the silver lining coming about a year into his recovery.

meds were expensive and therapy didn’t come cheap, so when he submitted a column narrating his experience from small-town mediocrity from a turkish-albanian background to big city law school dropout now with a disability card to a local publication, he’d only expected the cash it came with in exchange for his submission; he didn’t expect an email from a guy who, as it turned out, was a pretty big tv producer saying that he’d read his column and wanted to meet up to chat about an ‘opportunity’.

said opportunity turned out to be a job offer. or, well, a trial offer— he was currently producing the second season of a show on comedy central and wanted to invite him on as a writer’s assistant. with no employment opportunities on his immediate horizon ( with the alternative being to book a plane ticket back to ohio ), he knew he couldn’t say no.

the job was not glamorous and the salary was dismal, but it helped him remember how to become a person again, this time in an environment he actually enjoyed. no more case readings, no more depressing internship hunts with law firms who didn’t want him.

as he became more and more immersed into the culture of the show ( and other programs in the network ), he was eventually given his own episodes to write, all the while making his debut on stage as a stand up comic ( which was a difficult feat to even try and muster the courage to face an audience, let alone an audience in bars ). shortly after he’d made a relatively dignified name for himself, he started working on publishing his first book, which he liked to describe as ‘part-memoir, part-fiction, 100% mediocre’ entitled ‘Stop and Smell the...’ which chronicled his experience as a small-town midwestern boy who gre up in an immigrant household and was then living in a big city with a condition that could very well be attributed to his big mouth.

and he was, by no means, famous. maybe not even quasi-famous. but his new life had allowed him to support his family back home especially when his father had come down with a mysterious illness that prohibited him from continuing work. on top of that, his younger sister had gotten pregnant and was then forced to marry a businessman in cincinnati just so she could raise the child.

his father finally succumbed to his illness last december and it was only then that tan finally came home to deal with the funeral arrangements. he took a sabbatical from work, with every intention of his trip back to pleasance being temporary, but it’s months and he still hasn’t found it in him to leave pleasance again.

extras:

he has been living with his family again and has no plans of getting a place on his own since this is just ‘temporary’.

yes, he also brought his service dog, dakota ( and yes, he’s montana and she’s dakota and they’re just quirky like that 🤪 ) with him to pleasance and he takes her everywhere. since the move, dakota has enjoyed the bigger spaces that pleasance has to offer and you can find the pair most often at the park or playing catch on death ranch where the thrill of getting caught has never gotten old since he was seven.

he’s bisexual and he came out in 2013. he’s always sort of known that he’s not just attracted to girls since he was younger ( as evidenced by the will-they-won’t-they relationship he had with his ex-best friend kincade fuckin rippp ) but he’s never really been open about that part of himself until then.

a serial dater and a serial flirt. also soooo so so needy.

he’s a taurus sun with an aries moon so he’s equal parts ‘date me uwu’ and ‘fite me uwu’

like his fc bariş, tan sports a half-sleeve tattoo on his left arm: (body image tw) click here for reference !! also a smiley on his right thigh, his siblings’ initials on his right ankle, and a small ‘K’ on his left hip.

his comedy is very hasan minhaj meets bob newhart: all the ~~~~woke millennial goodness of hasan wrapped with bob newhart’s brand of deadpan delivery sprinkled with a little bit of john mulaney’s observational humor.

#phqintro #assault tw #injury tw #illness tw #death tw #pregnancy mention tw

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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Re: Fans who don't "get" Tim writing him, Batman: Hush probably marks the turn from optimistic 90s Tim to depressed aughts Tim, and it begins with Bruce's internal monologue about the Robins and their motivation. I mean, it's good otherwise, but the contrast between Dick and Tim is who's in therapy here? Dick became Robin because his parents died. Tim became Robin because Bruce lost a son. Not Dick playing around and Tim being serious.

I can barely remember Hush, so I can’t recall that, but that’s the sort of things to bug me.

Because it just sort of comes off like the writer just says what ever sometimes ya know? When it should be taken a little more seriously considering this is fiction that’s going to last a while. It can totally muck things up.

Look at aughts Tim making a fake uncle and saying he lies to Batman. When a few years back he has an actual Uncle called Rich, and often got so sad about having to lie all the time, because that’s who Tim was.

Tim was this little squirt who was super naive, but idealistic, and hopeful. He really thought that he could convince famed super hero and former acrobat Dick Grayson to be Robin again, for Batman. These are two people he barely knows, he only met Dick once before. He’s not some judgy cynic, he’s supposed to be too naive for his own good. Part of that was the point of his first miniseries. I understand character development, but some of this stuff just wasn’t that. It was just random decisions that changed him for the unrecognizable.

All the time he talked about how sore he was about having to lie all the time, and the only time I can remember him actually lying to someone was Red Tornado, who isn’t exactly Batman. Tim disobeyed sometimes sure, but it’s not the same as lying. He wants to obey, but he can’t help but shake the feeling that maybe it’s best that he doesn’t.

Or even that thing they used as an excuse to make Tim Red Robin, by having Dick say he was his equal, when that’s just dumb.

Like Tim’s my favorite character obviously, but it doesn’t make any sense. Tim was Robin for 3 years in-universe, and he wasn’t even all that good at the start, he had to work really hard just to do stuff that came naturally, and that was the norm for a LOT of his Robin run. So where did he get so talented all of a sudden to be equal to Dick? Who was Robin for either 8 to 12 years depending on the timeline.

It’s stuff that doesn’t add up, and it always bugs me, because that stuff sticks, because people after a while will just accept it and not think much of it. But after a while I just kind of notice things and it gets very ugh-y.

In the end it’s not so much “fans” that get me annoyed, I mean they do, cause sometimes they lie, but that isn’t exactly a freaking lot to just say “fans” like that. Those are just called liars, because they lie, not cause they’re a fan.

But the writers for just doing a hack job and ruining characters who aren’t important enough to get a fix job when something goes wrong like Spider-Man (typically).

They made Dick so happy-go-lucky too, when, while he did have a balanced personality, he was still very angsty. It isn’t modern type of over done angst to the point it’s a joke. Just like-- ya know, angst that was a bit relatable, made you like him because it was natural and you got it. He had PTSD imagining all the people he failed to catch, when ever he let himself down he gets really hard on himself.

He’s not a playful guy deep down. Like sure he is outside a lot, because again, he’s a well balanced personality, but I’m not even sure where word-y Dick came back from, because as I read in the 80s where he was developed as an adult character after an age-up due to silver age Robin not cutting it. He wasn’t all that word-y. I don’t think he really joked that much than the others.

But it popped up in a Batman comic and everyone accepted it. I guess cause the silver age? But still, that was when he was Robin not Nightwing.

It’s stuff like that, that makes stuff so messy in the long run, because things start not adding up and making sense. I think it’s that kind of stuff that made them lose a lot of sales.

Consistency helps people out a lot, but after Denny O’Neil, I notice editorial didn’t try as hard with the Bat-Family and got them really messed up in the 00s and 10s.

It’s hard to sell a character when brand value isn’t worth it to people, and the character doesn’t feel like themselves anymore.

Thankfully some Nightwing writers seem to get it, there was some Nightwing writer that wrote just within the past few years that genuinely seemed to really get Dick, and it made me so excited to read it because it’s like “OH MY GOSH! HE’S LIKE HIM AGAIN!” and it’s such a good feeling, because then it’s like, one of your favorite characters truly made a return when technically they never left. I think one of the writers that did one of the Wonder Comics comics wrote it, maybe even the same artist, but I can’t remember who exactly.

That’s probably a little nonsensical, but, today sort of exhausted me since I got too emotional for what ever reason. It was just a mess in my head.

But I’m more mellow now, despite the fact I can’t tell if I’m making sense or not lol

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kinkykawaiian · 4 years ago

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Name: Lilith Hat

Alias: Death Dealer, ,Mistress of Betrayal, The Red Queen, Queen of the damned, Maiden of Desolation, Scarlet woman, Night Hag, Screeching owl,Mistress of deception, Little delicate owl(Pet name given by Black Hat), Goat girl(Again, another 'pet' name given to her by Black Hat), Delicate disaster( Yet another pet name given to her by Black Hat)

Occupation: Weapon's dealer, Leader of the Red Macabre Corporation, Black Hat's Emissary, Also ringleader of an underground circus for villains where she torments her victims.

Age: VERY VERY VERY OLD(First woman to roam Earth old.)

Race: Succubus

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual but leans towards men more

<b>Biography:</b>

DAWN OF CREATION:

When God first created Earth; he made Adam and Lilith from the same clay. Lilith did not want to lay beneath Adam and demanded to be his equal; to which Adam denied her and tried to have his way with her anyways. She fled from the Garden and found herself naked and lost in the jungle during a stormy night. While wondering through the wilderness, cold and shivering from the rain; she tripped and landed in the mud; only to be met face to face with a dark ominous being who dragged her by the hair to a secluded cave that oversaw the red sea. The tophatted stranger was fascinated by her; examining every inch of her as if he had never seen a human before. Of course he was met with a sharp slap to the face when his hands got to more personal areas of her body. He did not speak in human dialect, but with time she taught him and he protected her from the wilderness when she ventured out to hunt. The land at the time was filled with all different kinds of wildlife; even prehistoric creatures roamed the earth. The being eventually named himself Black Hat and he was very powerful indeed. He could light a fire pit with just a snap of his fingers.

Eventually, the three Angels God had sent to search for her had caught up and gave her the choice to come back to Eden or stay with evil incarnate and have the first 100 children born from her womb die when they take in their first breath of life. She refused their offer and stayed with Black Hat. Lilith adopted two orphaned Siberian tiger cubs when their mother was mauled by a T-rex. She named them Anzu and Khaan. Eventually, on one of her hunts she followed a doe into the Garden; where she witnessed Adam with another woman, Eve. This caused Lilith to feel something she had never felt before. Jealousy. She gave up on the hunt and when she got back to the cave she told Black Hat everything. He could sense she was distressed and relished the fact she was feeling a deadly sin. He grinned and saw the opportunity to finally cause the demise of humanity. He himself couldn't enter the Garden; only God's creations could. He granted Lilith immortality, where she went through a grueling and painful transformation; but of course it came with a price. He had her take the form of a serpent to sneak into the Garden and lure Eve into eating the fruit from the tree of Knowledge. She eventually takes refuge in hell with her beloved tigers(who were turned into gruesome hell beasts.) and was separated from Black Hat. 4th century B.C. Egypt: Lilith eventually resurfaced again. She was disguised as a belly dancer for Queen Cleopatra and offered advice on how she could conquer and rule. The temptress always caused death or manipulated others into doing the evil deed for her. She eventually crosses paths with Black Hat again who she spotted front row in one of her performances. She was especially flirty with him, taunting him with her silky scarf and led him away to have her fun with him. Shortly after their romping, Egypt was plagued with a severe drought,locust and famine. The following morning Black Hat offers for her to join him, she of course refused and remained a free spirit. Angered by her rejection he leaves; leaving behind a massive sand storm in his wake. Nine months later she gave birth to a little girl who died seconds after being born. Lilith mourned the loss of her child and even gave her a name; Jezebel. As time went on she had intercourse with several other men, human or other demons; each offspring from those relations did not survive outside the womb. Europe 1347 - 1558: Lilith was disguised as a beautiful human woman who seduced men and drained them dry of their life force. Eventually on one of her hunts, she crosses paths with Black Hat. He was still sore about being rebuffed but made an attempt in conversing with her. They talked about their conquest and what they have been up to for the last couple of centuries. He invites her for a night full of booze and murder that eventually leads into some evil coitus. Soon after, Europe was introduced to the Black Plague. Lilith took on the disguise of a Plague nurse while Black Hat took on the disguise of a Plague doctor and together they helped further spread the deadly disease. After successfully spreading the plague, Lilith parted ways with Black Hat due to her being summoned by Mary the first. The queen sought power and prosperity. Lilith was her right hand and gave her advice that would lead to the queen's ruthless war path and the killings of innocent women just for the sole purpose of bathing in it. At her death bed, Lilith collected her soul and entrapped her into a mirror where she has the mediocre job of scaring children dumb enough to invoke her. The demoness then wandered into the wilderness of Europe, wanting to explore it's wildlife. During her stay in the wild, Lilith ventured into a cave where she encountered an enormous golden serpent with glowing red eyes. She eventually tamed the savage beast and named her "Big Jill". After obtaining her new pet she retreated back into hell. The year 1860-1950: She was summoned on earth by a mortal looking to get his rocks off with the infamous succubus and it backfired on him when she drained his life energy for sustenance; leaving nothing but a hollowed out corpse. Now, free to roam Earth, she disguised herself as a normal woman; killing several men in her wake. She was nomadic; never staying in one place and always traveling state to state; town to town and eventually she happened upon a small town in Mexico. She saw a discrete ad around the town for a masquerade. She attended the ball expecting to find her new victim. She wore a crimson red and black Victorian dress; it's silk straps draping off her shoulder; along with black gloves and a crow mask, her hair tied back in a bun adorned with roses and black feathers. During the festivities; she saw a familiar dark figure. His face was concealed by a mask. He had noticed her and watched her from the corner of his eye until she disappeared in the crowed only to reappear behind him and ask him for a dance. As they waltzed they chatted about the festivities and eventually Lilith dropped the bomb of how he looked like someone she knew many years ago. He grins at her as he already knew who she was. After their brief introduction to one another, Black Hat began to siphon the life force out of the other party goers to sustain them both. They danced through the ballroom long after the rest of the attendies were dead at their feet. After their dinner and dance; they road off on his horse and he laid her down by a lakeside. After their fun, He laid next to her and brought up his offer again. As much as Lilith cared for him, she loved her freedom to much to be chained down to one being. He cursed her name and rode off into the night on horseback. She sighed and went about her night. A week later she attempted to seduce the famous monster hunter Van Helsing; only to be maimed severely and have her wings ripped from her body. He was about to slice her throat with a blessed blade but was interrupted by the leering shadow of a monstrous Black Hat who engulfed the room in darkness. Lilith had loss consciousness from the blood loss at this point and she came to when she felt a sterling silver red hot branding iron between her shoulder blades. It was Black Hat who was marking her with the Hat Pentagram. He looked pleased at the fact she was hindered, distress and dependent. He informed her that he saved her life and tended to her wounds therefore she is in debt to him and that she will forever serve under the Black Hat Organization as payment. This of course this lead to an argument between the two but she receded back to laying on her side in pain. He gently stroked her hair before exiting the room calling her a"Beautiful imbecile". Black Hat enjoyed her wild and wicked nature; trying to contain it would be foolish but he thrived on the conflict that came from him attempting. Her spirit was unbreakable no matter what he through her way, she rose above it stronger each time. Any man she tried to seduce or have relations with faced imminent death due to Black Hat's envious reaction. Eventually, Lilith wanted to own her own company, to which Black Hat was intrigued to hear. He gave her a branch of his Organization to rule and set her up in the catacombs of Paris. There, she let her hellish creatures roam the labyrinth of death. She named the branch The Red Macabre and specialized in torture entertainment, murder for hire, evil marriage consoling and taming monsters. Once a year she would host an underground circus where villains from all over the cosmos can come and bare witness to her and her crew tormenting a hero until his last breath before being fed to Lilith's demonic saber tooth tigers. 1950-Present day: Despite her boss's constant attempt in trying to lock her down, Lilith still attempted to date other supernatural beings casually. One day, Lilith was in her office sharing a drink with her boyfriend at the time Nergal(https://grimadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Nergal ). Black Hat heard about them through the grapevine and interrupted their date by grabbing Nergal by the throat and tossing him into the deepest pit of hell. He then turned his anger at Lilith and demanded for her to only belong to him. She informs him that what they had is casual and if she ever was to be tied down to anyone they had to be equals. Black Hat laughs at this and pulls out a ring to force onto her. She reacted by biting her finger off and spiting it at him; to which he ate it and made her finger regenerate with the ring on it. She said she was not going to acknowledge their matrimonial status unless it was a two-way contract with no catch. He reluctantly agreed. After they signed the binding contract(They both wrote it up together.) they were to only save each other for themselves and no one else. Despite being married, they did not live together, nor does Black Hat speak about her to others unless they ask. Eventually she gives birth to her first healthy child, a baby boy named Damien and two more followed after; one girl named Alice and the other named Melody.

LIKES:

-Drinking in general

-The suffering of men who thought they were superior to women

-Musicals

-Old detective shows

-Singing and dancing

-She likes spicy things(perfume,foods,gum,sex)

-Guns; her favorite being her golden Berretta 92; a semi automatic pistol

-animals

-being the center of attention

-cherries

-Most music

-the rare sweet moments between her and Black Hat that happen in private

-Red spider lilies

-living in the lap of luxury

-the color red

-Carnage

-Bathing in virgin blood

-the taste of human flesh

-When Black Hat sings to her or plays an instrument for her.

-Belly dancing(mostly to Heavy metal),waltzing or tango.

DISLIKES:

-Frogs

-Other people's children

-Being referred to as the Night hag

-Being asked what her age is

-Being called a sinner

-Being annoyed

-anything cold

-Glitter

-Being disrespected

-Most men

-Outdated views

-pranks

-when Black Hat melts puppies

-Being told what to wear

FUN FACTS:

-Her legs are furry but she waxes them.

-It took her centuries to get the hang of her powers, even furthering their capabilities with the help of another Lovecraftian deity named Edmund Uvhash.

-After spending so many years in France, Lilith picked up an accent.

-Lilith can speak several different languages; including English,Spanish,French and pig Latin.

- She has an affinity for animals

-Lilith is an excellent cook(She mostly cooks human flesh with herbs and spices)

-Lilith covers her chipped horn with a band at all times

-Black Hat has indulged in her sinful nature a few times and it usually leaves her bitten up,bruised and bleeding. And it is their dirty little secret to keep.

-If Black Hat were to ever disappear Lilith would take his spot and rule ruthlessly and mercilessly and do away with the mortals he hired and summon a legion to take their place.

-Lilith views Black Hat as an equal; despite him viewing her beneath him but he keeps that to himself.

-Black Hat and Lilith have private meetings every so often where he complains about his employees or talks about his new devices he wants to sell or they drink and reminisce about their past

-Lilith does care deeply for Black Hat, she just hates the concept of monogamy.

- Lilith never visits the Manor; Black Hat however has come out to visit her and the children.

-Eventually when the kids are older the end up visiting their father one summer and that is when Black Hat dropped the bomb on his crew that he was a married man. Demencia didn't take the news too well.

-Lilith has an irrational fear of frogs.

-Lilith was the one who pissed off Black Hat enough for him to destroy Pompeii

-Big Jill is Lil Jack's mate and they are both Basilisks.

-Lilith's catacombs are crawling with gigantic demonic Black Widow spiders, hell hounds, her demonic saber tooths and a pit filled with Big Jill and Lil Jack's offspring.

-Big Jill is the most feared creature that lurks in the catacombs who's looks can kill alone.

-Every time Black Hat and her bump uglies a catastrophe happens. It's a bad omen.

-Black Hat doesn't really love her but he feels intense lust and is envious if any other man touched her. He is very possessive over her and feels an enormous sense of pride once he was able to lock her down.

---------------------------------------------

Personality: She is ambiguous and charismatic by nature. However, she is will let it be known if she doesn't like someone and would make it a goal of hers to make them suffer an ill fate. She can act posh but deep down she is a wild and feral spirit. She is very lewd and makes a lot of suggestive jokes. She has a really sick and twisted sense of humor. She is very manipulative. She is highly flirtatious if she finds you remotely attractive.

Fighting Style: she is very flexible, quick and agile so she will use that to her advantage. She fights like an animal,using her horns to ram into her enemy, her clawed nails, fanged teeth and tail. Also may use her hooves to step on her enemies. Or she'll just simply unload led into you.

Powers: intense charisma and seductive power to match her good looks she uses to her advantage to manipulate unsuspecting victims,can disguise herself to look human, Manipulates dreams, Can see in the dark, Pyrotechnic, is able to make items manifest themselves in a snap of a finger, she can also walk up right walls and ceilings. She can teleport(even through dimensions), sucking her victim's life dry to leave behind a hollowed corpse, Immortality. She also can charm her victims(Only works with mortals) to get what she wants. Despite having these supernatural powers she is not as strong as Black Hat. She doesn't even come close to what he is capable of. She can turn into a snake.

Weaknesses: Sterling silver, holy weapons(blessed blades, holy water), frogs.

Quotes:

"Don't mistaken my respect for fear or you will loose it”-Lilith to BH

"If you can sell a lie you can sell anything."-Lilith to BH and Flug after helping them with a sale's pitch.

"Your mind is an insane one,darling."Black Hat to Lilith

"Thank you. I'd like to think it complements your wicked thoughts."Lilith replying to BH

"The further I pull away the worse his actions get, It's like he wants me to pay attention to him in this fucked up game of cat and mouse."Lilith to Nikiri (Her social media manager.)

Voice claim: Chloé Hollings ((

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO8TRGaqM9I&t=401s

))

Singing voice claim: Vanessa Paradis ((

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z-NbQvhzKM

))

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lilith's themes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAOx_6jfek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNhy3K94z8Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1VqKLgq4bA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa4mD-DRU1k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqdYHnulCms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t7SclAXoQw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4cKIxhcTT8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJwwIDCeqoU

Lilith and Black Hat's Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x83P5LjpWpA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5yMcIxdnPk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I6Y9bv7Js4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrQgUfkYhic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kQ-0bBkMIY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGbe-lEDCc4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwCdShFGjwI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PptZQQ1O70A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJwt9qJb6Sw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccY25Cb3im0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Olp10zk3h-Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arPlIDu5rmo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDboeQfAsww

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcSL5Vdeu6s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39V3sOe3-2s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkBEnIoRqWw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0m5SXO8qK78

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYuhnVSOzwE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8wP_4vp4Vs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teuGzBoN8hE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBi_1efiPwg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B66l1S0E70I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9PF09URHdQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE4bW3SJ6YE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMK0prafzw0

Villainous,Black Hat belong to Alan Ituriel

Art and this interpretation of Lilith belong to me.

#VillainousOC #villainous oc #villainous Lilith #Villainouslilith #villainous #villainous blackhat #Villainous BH #VH Villainous #Villainous fandom #villainous rp #villainos #My art #art #villainous fanart #character sheet

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gothamdetected-a · 5 years ago

Text

multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i��ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

#i dont know if i can put this as a meta #its just me ranting again #hm #\system\directory\hidden.txt ›› META #long post /

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