#it was a reality check. but i’m not saying they’re gonna like be at each other’s throats in s4 or anything

[eternally-racing]

keep her safe | lando norris

pairing: dad! lando x wife! reader (+ their teenage daughter!)

genre: fluff & angst-ish

warnings: racing crash, reader/lando's kid is in the hospital, some swearing

wc: 1.4k

summary: Nothing prepares you for the feeling of watching your daughter's first crash in formula 3.

note: this fic can be read as part of the racer girl series or as a stand alone as well!

----

Lando always hated pulling the “I’m a celebrity” card when you two were out in public. He's never wanted the special treatment that companies wanted to give him before, but the minute he sees his daughter crash in her first Formula 3 race, he’s trying to pull out every trump card he has to get his way into the medical tent. 

“That’s my fucking daughter in there, you can’t keep her from me! This is absolutely insane! I’m Lando fucking Norris, don’t you know who I am?”  Lando is yelling and yelling and you hold him back by the wrist because otherwise you think he might actually charge at the door to try and get through it. 

He more than anyone here knows what a bad crash looks like, and from the minute he saw your daughter, Piper, go into the barriers he knew that it was a rough one. There’s cameras swarming around you both but he doesn’t care (It’s not like he was a PR team’s dream when he was a driver himself). That’s his little girl in there and she’s hurt. There’s now a full commotion in front of the medical area and Lando admits defeat as he sinks back into the wall behind him and crumbles to the floor with you following suit. 

“She’s afraid of needles, Y/N.” Lando says no louder than a whisper towards the shut doors “Who’s gonna tell them that she’s afraid of needles if I’m not there?”

You know that if she’s in a state where they’re not letting you see her and she’s being transferred to the hospital that she likely has already gotten a lot of needles and wasn’t conscious enough to feel them, but you keep that information to yourself once you see the worried look on Lando’s face. This exact moment is something you two had worried about ever since your little girl first stepped in a kart, and somehow it was worse than you had ever imagined it would be.

By the time you and Lando make it to the hospital it feels like hours have gone by, even though in reality it hadn’t been more than a handful of minutes. Lando’s never been more grateful for his success when a nurse recognizes him and immediately guides you both in the direction of Piper’s room. He’s not sure he would’ve been able to make it through a conversation right now anyways. 

The scene inside is every parent’s worst nightmare. There are lines going in and out of Piper’s arms and bags of fluid are hung next to her bed; there are too many machines beeping and showing numbers and graphs that you just can’t understand. You feel Lando’s knees buckle beside yours and you keep an arm around his waist to keep him steady. You both need each other right now, there’s no doubt about that. 

When Piper cries out for her daddy from the hospital bed it brings a fresh set of tears to your eyes. You can’t remember the last time Piper actually called Lando daddy, it had been “dad” for the most part or “Mr.Norris” if she felt like being cheeky, but hearing those words from her mouth brought you right back to when she was a little girl, your little girl. 

Lando rushes to her side and has both hands caressing her face. He knows that she’s been checked over by the doctors, but he needs to see for himself that she’s really okay. He presses his forehead against hers as they cry together. You’ll never fully understand what Piper’s just been through, but the man standing in front of her does all too well. 

You hang back a bit to talk to the doctors, who try to give you a comprehensive update on her status, but as soon as you hear the words “she’s fine and on track to make a complete recovery” you zone out as you finally let out the breath that it feels like you’ve been holding this whole time. You’re about to go rejoin your family once you hear the next words out of your daughter’s mouth.

“I’m sorry dad, I know this meant a lot to you.” Piper sighs as she pulls the hospital sheets up to her chin.  “Did I at least make it around a lap? Am I the youngest ever female formula 3 driver to complete a lap in a grand prix?” 

This is when Lando has to face the music - he got so excited about his daughter dreaming of Formula 1 that he may have pushed her a little too far if his daughter is more worried about beating records than she is about her own health. Lando tries to calm his own breathing as he grabs both of Piper’s hands to lay on his own to get her full attention. He wants to make sure she fully understands what he’s about to say.

“You’re always going to be my little girl, Pipes. Racing or not, I am always proud of you. I never want you to feel like you have to impress me.” Lando doesn’t even answer Piper’s question about the record because frankly he has no idea. He’s never once cared about awards and prizes and all of the fancy shit. All he’s ever wanted is for her to be happy, and he tells her exactly that. 

Piper stops crying long before Lando does, and you’re amazed by the maturity your daughter shows as she starts wiping the tears from your husband’s eyes. You all just need a little family cuddle so you do exactly that, and take a moment to appreciate the lives that the three of you have and how precious that is. The sentimental moment is only broken by your daughter, who says that she has a little request for the two of you. 

“Do you think you can ask the doctors if they can give me the good stuff that you got back in Vegas all those years ago, dad?”  

Moments like this remind you that Piper is her father’s daughter and it earns a laugh from you both. 

“Not a chance, kid, but good try.” 

For the first time in what feels like years, the 3 of you sleep in one bed together. It’s one teeny tiny hospital bed made for a teenager, so you both wake up with extremely sore backs but very full hearts. Piper’s the first to fall asleep, understandably spent from the day she’s been through, but you notice Lando’s eyes never leave her, as if he’s worried she’ll disappear if he looks away. You reach over to grab his hand, you get it. Call it parental instinct, but that feeling of anxiety after something bad happens to your child is just something you can’t push away, and you want him to know that you’re here for him. You both wordlessly take turns watching over Piper throughout the night, holding her hand through blood draws and med deliveries. 

 Lando spends all day and night at Piper’s side while she’s recovering, and it’s only when you and your daughter tell him that he smells absolutely horrendous and needs to go shower do you finally get him to take a beat for himself. He still calls 3 times on the drive home from the hospital alone to check how Piper’s doing, and you have to threaten to not pick up the next time he calls before he finally takes a bit of a break. So often it feels like children drift away from their parents in their teenage years, but Piper’s recovery has given you both the opportunity to spend some much needed time with her as she grows up. 

The minute Piper is cleared by the medical team she’s instantly back in the simulator. She’s a little daredevil like her daddy after all. Lando of course asks over and over again if she’s doing this for herself and not him, the fear of making the same mistakes as earlier weighing heavy on his mind. Your daughter is nothing if not honest, so she tells him about how she loves the sport itself but also loves the way she’s able to connect to her dad through it. Lando makes her pinky promise that she’ll let her know if she ever changes her mind on the subject, and lucky for you both, she never does.

---

author's note: this was based on a lovely request from a reader! if you have any requests feel free to drop them in my ask box :) If you liked this piece and haven't read racer girl yet, give it a read because I'm sure you'll love that one too!

Until next time! - Em <;3

[luveline]

maybe could I ask for miguel seeing spider girl with a bruise on her face and getting protective (when in reality it was just over something dumb) thank youuuu <3

ty for requesting! Finding his Spider-Girl is never easy. He’ll assume you’re wearing your watch and find it forgotten in his room, or under a chair in the cafeteria, or twitching and loosing smoke at the bottom of a garbage can, nowhere near your actual location. 

Today, he checks all your usual haunts and decides he might break up with you if you don’t start leaving him clues as to where to find you. Not that’s he’s your boyfriend (of course he’s your boyfriend), but he’d put an end to your… relationship, should he have to. 

He’s getting annoyed at his own thoughts and, by extension, you, when he finally finds you lying casually across a couch in a common area otherwise abandoned. You’ve projected your phone game onto the ceiling, music leaking from the cans of your headphones, with your socked feet dangling over an armrest, a drinks bottle by your head.

“Where are your shoes?” he asks loudly. 

You glance his way. “Hi, Miguel.” 

“Are you walking around without shoes?” He bends one way and another looking for them. They’re on their sides under the coffee table among a legion of dust bunnies. 

“What?” 

“I said–” He hates playing this game. “Take the headphones off, and then we’ll talk to each other.” 

“I’m gonna take my headphones off,” you say. 

He rolls his eyes. You stop projecting your phone, snapping it closed on your chest and struggling up into a sitting position, legs retrieved from over the armrest and crossed beneath you as your headphones slip around your neck. You’re in sportswear with a jacket too big for you over your shoulders, cute cargo pants he adores and potentially would love to take off of you, and he’s so busy noticing your uncharacteristic outfit that he misses the huge bruise on your face, the yellow, red and purple like a stain under your eye 

He has amazing vision. “What happened?” he asks, practically diving for you, bending down to take your unbruised cheek into his hand. “Who did that to you?” 

You haven’t been on a strike mission in weeks, and your combat training is all but done. 

Someone laid their hands on you. 

Miguel goes into a fugue. “Sweetheart,” he says, his voice flat, almost cold, “who hit you?” 

“Miguel, I’m a superhero–”

“I don’t remember the last time you went home,” he says, immediately brushing this possibility away. You don’t fight crime in your dimension, Spider-Girl a poorly received vigilante. “You haven’t been in training, I didn’t send you on the strike this morning because you didn’t want to go.” He touched you with extreme care, thumb barely pressed to your skin, but he talks with precision. “So I’ll ask again. Who hit you, cariño?” 

“Miguel,” you laugh, pushing his hand off of your face to wrap your arms around his neck. He covers your back instinctively. “I’m fine, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting all macho.” 

“You aren’t answering my question.” 

“Oh my gosh.” You cling to him. He could stand up at full height and be sure you’d come up with him. He’d quite enjoy that, to his secret pleasure, you with your legs wrapped around his hips. You don’t like being carried is the kicker. “Miguel, I hit myself. My hand got caught when I was taking the suit off and I hit myself in the eye, it’s fine.” 

Your back is soft. His hand less so as he rubs your back in surprised, short lines, up and down and up again. “Idiot,” he says, his voice turning to rasp at such a low volume. 

It must hurt, even if you did it to yourself. Miguel peels you away from his neck and stations you gently on the couch. “I’ll take you to the medbay,” he promises, giving your shoulder a little push. “What’s wrong with you? You hit yourself? You’re like a kid.” 

“I am not! It happens to everybody.” 

“Never happens to me.” 

“You cheat. Your suit flashes on and off.”

“It does not.” Miguel decides he is going to carry you whether you like it or not. You aren’t wearing shoes —he doesn’t need you getting any more injured. “Alright, hold on to your phone, my brat.” 

“Your what?” you laugh, though any humour you hold is lost when Miguel grabs you up with ease and cradles your full grown body to his chest in a princess carry, “Miguel! Stop, put me down! You know I hate this.” 

“You might hurt yourself again. I’m taking necessary precautions.” 

You sigh and drop your face into his shoulder. “Well, I guess I’ll allow it. You got so, so mad thinking somebody hit me, I think you deserve to carry me around like a large cantaloupe.” You draw a heart into the base of his neck. “Will you grab my shoes?” 

“I’ll circle back.” 

“Thank you. How’d you even find me? I was hoping I’d be healed the next time we saw one another.”

“At bedtime, you mean?” 

He resists the urge to kiss your cheek, or tell you how he’d found you (mindless combing of the building, seduction of your most likely location, and dumb luck). You don’t need the ammunition. 

[xxacademy]

tender

husband!leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: succumbing to injuries inflicted by a B.O.W you fight the mental and physical battle to recovery. meanwhile, your husband does everything in his power to support you.

any leon timeline works, except re2. i did have older leon in mind though <3

a/n: inspired by lil a snippet from an anon request, find it here. anyhow, i love how this turned out, i was 🥺 writing it. pls lemme know what you think <33

content//warnings: depictions of blood & injury, hospital setting, non-graphic description of an IV, pain medication, y/n is used ONCE, pet names (dear, sweetheart, honey), hurt/comfort.

harsh white light wakes you revealing an image of horror. your trembling hands painted with your own dried blood, hooked up to an IV and a pulse oximeter. dazed, you know you’re in pain, but it’s not registering. it’s like you’re floating, possibly in a dream. a bad dream. but the reality of your condition is enough to confirm this is in fact not.

there’s a small group of medical staff standing at the end of your bed, talking quietly amongst each other. “the bloodwork came back, she’s not infected. all though the acid is wreaking havoc on her immune system, sending it into overdrive. the patient needs to be monitored for at least another two days.”

one of the nurses walks over to check on you, first, he looks at the monitors at your bedside, then goes to place a hand on your forehead. he notices you’re waking up, your heavy-lidded eyes focused on your hands.

he calls the doctor over, who pulls a chair up next to you. “hey, how are you feeling?” her voice is soft and calm.

“w-why am i here?” you mutter shakily, unable to make out much more.

“you sustained serious injuries on an extraction mission against a bio-organic weapon. you came in contact with its lethal acid, which is primarily why you’re here. your ankle is broken and you have puncture wounds in your arms.”

you’re still fixed on your bloodied hands, images of what you endured flood back. it was so intense- the last thing you remembered is a sharp talon-like claw piercing your upper arm. it all went fuzzy after that.

“you had surgery early this morning, and we have you on a morphine drip to help with the pain. please let us know if you begin to feel ill.”

you respond with an unsteady nod.

“you’re gonna be alright.” she smiles sympathetically.

another nurse comes into the room walking directly to the doctor. their speaking is hushed. “doctor, there’s a man here to see the patient. he says he’s her husband.”

“we can’t risk exposure from an outsider, we can’t have visitors yet.”

“he seems antsy.”

“well, assure him that she’s okay”-

the room is dead silent, so you can rather clearly make out what they’re saying.

“bring him in.” your voice quivering.

their heads turn, giving you a look of disappointment. similar to the one your mother gave you as a child. a sullen expression of remorse when she couldn’t afford to buy you new toys.

they do not want to hold your loved ones away from you. but it’s what has to be done. after all, it could mean life or death.

you sigh. you’re in no place to put up a fight.

“i’ll talk to him.” the nurse whispers. leaving the room.

“i’m sorry mrs. kennedy, you’re just not in a well enough state for visitors yet.”

you respond with yet another dreary sigh. fidgeting with the ring finger of your left hand.

your wedding ring is missing. you know you were wearing it prior. you’re always wearing it. sometimes you would loop it around a necklace chain, but you didn’t before this mission. surely it was on your finger.

“-doctor” you whisper.

“yes mrs. kennedy.”

“do you have my wedding ring?”

your tattered and blood-stained belongings were placed in a biohazard bag. a nurse picks up the bag feeling through the plastic for a ring.

“it’s not in here.” the nurse admits, a touch of anxiety in her voice.

“that’s okay.” you exhale.

it’s not okay. your beautiful diamond ring was more than just a pretty thing. it was one of the only sentimental pieces you coveted so highly. hand-picked by leon, it was a symbol of his undying affection. despite all the odds pinned against your love.

wanting to cry, but your bloodshot eyes are dry. the medication numbs you enough to let the pain run by, but you still feel broken, physically and mentally.

the hours pass as you bob in and out of sleep. your wavering limb’s finally settling. nurses and doctors are always present, constantly checking your vitals.

the next day two nurses come to bathe you at your bedside. gently wiping the sticky dried blood from your skin. the other trying to get it out of your hair.

“thank you, i mean it, thank you,” you whisper, fighting to keep your eyes open.

it was a relief. the sweet, metallic smell was driving you crazy. it felt itchy and uncomfortable against your skin.

…

leon hasn’t left the hospital. confined to a chair in the waiting room for the last day and a half. constantly flagging down staff for updates on your condition.

“she’s doing really well, the blood transfusion took perfectly.” the nurse smiles reassuringly.

“does that mean i can see her?”

“not yet, but soon.”

leon sighs. “well anyways, thanks for the good news.”

he sullenly returns to his chair. the stress and lack of sleep painting his under eyes dark. in his grasp is a picture you two took together, one he always carries in his wallet. it was taken a few years ago and you’re kissing his cheek. it’s the only solace he can find in the depressing waiting room.

leon had fallen asleep for the first time in over twenty-four hours. slumped over in his chair, chin resting in his palm. he jerked awake when his chin slipped. it was dark outside and the lobby eerily quiet.

3:47am

leon walks to the front desk heavy-footed and groggy. “my wife, y/n kennedy, is she okay?” his voice is grave.

“yes sir, she’s sleeping- and everything is looking good. but, you should get some sleep too sir, it’s gonna be a while until she wakes up.”

“-thanks.”

the pain of not being able to see you cuts like a knife. leon can't stand the image of you suffering and alone. but he’s borderline delirious from the sleep deprivation. he returns to his chair, lays his legs out across another, and falls asleep.

leon is jolted awake by a nurse tapping his shoulder. it’s morning- warm sun seeping through the windows and the smell of fresh coffee wafts through the lobby.

“do you need me to move?” he asks, still half asleep. voice deep and raspy.

“oh no mr. kennedy, your wife is on the right track to her recovery. you can go see her now.”

…

you feel much more alert, the daze the blanketing your apprehensive thoughts finally lifting. they switched you onto a far less invasive medication, which was probably helping.

it’s been a week since you’ve seen leon, and about two of those he’s been here, but just barely out of reach.

whenever the nurses praised you for the progress you made- you jump straight to asking if you're well enough for visitors. In your defense, it’s been unbelievably hard going through this journey alone.

the door creeks open, a very common occurrence of your stay. but instead peaking through the door is your blonde-haired husband.

you immediately start to cry- tears welling up and streaming down your cheeks. leon tears up too, casting a glossy filter over his blue eyes. he delicately wraps his arms around you, careful not to inflict any more pain. and you bury your face into his chest, immediately staining his shirt with your cry.

“i missed you, leon, i can't believe you’re here, i’ve missed you so much.” you sob.

“it’s really you, you don’t understand how much i’ve missed you, dear.”

you take your time, relishing in the comfort of your husband's arms. he gently rubs your back, consoling you with his touch.

“how're you feeling?”

“ugh okay, i guess. my whole body hurts and i can barely move. but the doctors say i’m improving- so yippee” your deadpan tone emphasizes how exhausted you are.

“that’s what i heard. and look, i know it’s been hard, but i’m so proud of how strong you’ve been, sweetheart.”

“i love you.”

“i love you, too” leon squeezes his embrace around you a little tighter, gently kissing the top of your head.

you smile, the first one in a while. but it quickly fades. “leon, can i tell you something.”

“of course you can.”

you fidget with your hands pressing your face deeper in his chest. “i lost my wedding ring- i think it was during the mission. i’m so sorry.”

“is that really what’s on your mind right now?” leon chuckles.

you look up at him with, tears streaming down your face. “you do understand how much that ring meant to me.”

“of course, i know, dear. but how can i care about the stupid ring if the wife i thought died is actually alive and in my arms?”

leon wipes the tears from your cheeks, his hand cupping your jaw. “i promise i’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“okay.” you say sniffling your runny nose.

with a big yawn, leon stands up raising both arms up into a stretch, his shirt lifts up slightly showing off his abdomen. “i’m going to find your doctor, see when you’re coming home.”

you smile. it’s nice not being alone. you feel bad knowing leon anxiously waited at the hospital for days. but there’s an unfamiliar warmth in knowing how much he cares. leon had always cared about you- before you were even dating. that’s one of the many reasons why you married him. aside from the ongoing list of shared interests- he’s so protective, it’s one of his beautiful ways of loving you.

leon comes back to the room, “looks like they need to run more blood tests, make sure that acid is out of your bloodstream before you come home.”

you’re totally spaced out, it feels like you haven’t even had a chance to take in what’s happened to you. it’s all become a blur, taking in the moments a second at a time. you were so worried about the details it almost failed to compute that you were nearly infected by the very thing you swore your life to rid of.

like a time release valve finally triggering; anxiety washes you cold- it could have been the end. leon would have been widowed, and all your friends would have been at your funeral. your mind is playing devil's advocate. what if i don’t get better? are the doctors just hoping i stay positive?

“are you okay?” leon’s bloodshot eyes are nearly aching with concern.

“i’m scared.” your chest is sinking deeper with each anxious breath.

“why? why would you be scared?”

it may not make sense to you now- but having leon there was a sort of reality check. alone, you just survived. with him, everything has weight.

“i dunno… i just want things to be okay. i want you to be okay, i want to get better.”

leon rushes to your bedside, holding your hands in his. “but it will get better- you’re doing better, so much better! i’ll be there every step of the way. i promise you.”

you take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself. trying to hang on to his words.

you sob, absolutely overcome by emotion. “i love you, leon. thank you for being here, thank you for everything you’ve done.”

a nurse knocks at the door but you don’t let go of leon’s hand.

“mrs. kennedy- so sorry to intrude. but the doctor wants to do a scan of your ankle. is that okay?”

you wipe the tears from your face, trying to compose yourself.

“yes, of course, that’s alright, thank you.”

leon whispers “you got this, dear,” before standing up and sitting in a chair by the window.

…

leon has done everything possible to make the next few days easier for you. like ordering takeout and watching your favorite movies with you. serving as a distraction while you recover.

it certainly worked. he’s good at keeping you calm, and the energy light-hearted. you didn’t even think it was possible, given the grim reality of your circumstances. but somehow he can have your eyes filled with tears, giggling with laughter.

four days you’ve been in the hospital, and today is your last one. you’re able to stand up and the effects from the B.O.W are finally gone. granted you still have a long journey to recovery, at least you can go home.

…

after the agonizing hours of travel, you make it home. leon helps you into the house, guiding you to your bed. “i want to take a bath, i feel disgusting.”

“i’ll draw one for you, you want it now?”

“hmhm” you nod.

“sure thing, sweetheart.” leon tenderly kisses your forehead.

he runs a hot bath, adding a little lavender soap, just the way you like it. he walks you to the tub and helps you undress. he holds your hand as you shakily step in, slowly adjusting to the hot water.

“god my first real bath in a week, can you believe it.” you sigh, sinking your body in the bubbly water.

leon chuckles, “i know, you poor thing, those nurses really tried their best to help. but it’s never the same, is it?”

“…especially considering i was covered in congealed zombie guts”

leon laughs, “but look at you now, covered in…” he pauses to read the name on the soap bottle “…lavender dreams”

you both giggle, in love and delighted by each other's company.

“okay, i’ll leave you to it, holler if you need anything.”

…

“leon! will you fetch my bathrobe!” you yell from the bathroom. you hear his feet patter across the hardwood, “coming."

you stare at your reflection in the mirror as you brush your wet hair, inspecting the scars, bruises, and stitches that litter your body. it feels like you came home to a different person, a body you’re now unfamiliar with.

leon peaks through the door. head cocked to the side. “everything alright, baby?”

“i don’t know- it’s hard to wrap my head around it. i-i feel off.”

“c’mere i got something to show ya.” leon swoops you off your feet carrying you in his arms.

“what are you doing?” you giggle wrapping your arms around his neck.

“you’ll see.”

he delicately sets you down on the couch in the living room and sits next to you. he fumbles around in his pocket pulling out a little black velvet box.

“leon-honey, oh my god, what is that.” your eyes are round and doe-like, your bottom lip beginning to quiver.

he opens the box, presenting it to you as if his hands were a clamshell, revealing a glimmering ring set in pearlescent white satin.

“for you- i know it was hard losing the ring, but that one was beaten up anyways. you deserve something a little nicer.”

tears swell, gathering in the inner corners of your eyes. chocked up and rendered speechless, you mouth the words, i love you.

he reached for your trembling left hand, sliding the diamond wedding ring onto your finger.

“i love you, most.” he beams, the words fluttering with tenderness.

“i-i love the ring, it’s beautiful-truly. but how’d you do it?”

“do what?”

“get a new ring, you were with me the entire time…?”

“i have my ways,” he smirks, planning on keeping that little secret to himself.

leon holds your hand, admiring the way your hand looks adorned by his diamond ring.

“remember when we got engaged?” he muses.

“of course i do! you took me to milan, i should have known you were going to propose.”

“you have the same look in your eyes as you did then.” leon swipes his thumb along your cheek, smiling to himself, gazing into your eyes.

“and you’re as smooth as ever” you look at him through your lashes, pupils wide. “but really leon, thank you, means more than the world”

“you are my world.” his soft lips meet yours, kissing you gently.

somewhere in the crystal pools of leon’s eyes, you find the hope you were looking for. his unbreakable faith in you, alongside his never-ending acts of love, is reassuring.

hell, it’s not going to be easy, but at least you're not alone.

⭐️tags

@yourgentlegirlfriend

[wonderingpanda]

Hey 👋 so excited that you are writing for the boys of Tales of the tmnt. I was wondering if you can write something about the female reader going to the costume party dressed up as Leo’s favorite female character (whatever you like) and he ends up all cute and flustered that he can’t stop looking at the reader through out the party. Something fluffy and cute.

Please and Thank you 🙏

Love Interest

Tottmnt!Leo x Fem!Reader

Finally, I finished it!🎉🥳 Tbh, I wasn’t too sure who to put as Leo’s favourite female character and at first I was thinking more Star Trek (because I think it’s pretty well known that the Leo’s are sci-fi lovers) but I didn’t know how many people would be familiar with it so I chose to go off the Batman reference from the movie. Anyway, that was really unnecessary but I felt like sharing the process. Please enjoy, I hope you like it!

Down in the sewers, Leo was busy sprawled out on his bed, working on his comic book as usual.

“They’re heroes, yeah, woo, yeah!” He whispered as he continued drawing.

“You’re my hero Leo!” He whispered the words as he drew a picture of Y/n L/n, a friend from school he had started crushing on. He kicked his legs giddily as he began daydreaming of scenarios where he got to save her, show off his skills, hold her in his arms as they travelled along rooftops… if only that could be reality.

“Come on Leo, you’re gonna make us late!” Donnie called from the other side of the room.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Instead of working on his comic tonight though, Leo was going to be attending a costume party with the rest of his brothers. They only had a little while to get ready, so the boys began getting dressed up and gathering their things.

“C’mon, ergh-almost! *huff* You couldn’t of gone with a more shell friendly outfit!?” Raph lifted his head up, he was helping Leo get on the rest of his costume.

“Come on, just pull!” Leo complained. They continued a back-and-forth struggle till the final piece eventually fell into place.

“There!” Raph huffed “You happy?”

“Yes actually.” Leo smiled proudly before his face shifted to a nervous frown. He began twisting around to check how he looked and anxiously glanced at Raph. “Do you think Y/n will like it?”

He burst out laughing. “Please, Y/n’ll like whatever costume you decide to put on. I mean, you look like a dork but I don’t think she’ll care.”

“Ok.. wait, what’s that supposed to mean?” But Leo wasn’t given an answer as Donnie came rushing between them.

“Do you think we should leave now or in a couple minutes? Cos the party starts in like 13 but I looked up party etiquette on Wikipedia and it says you’re supposed to be there 30 minutes after start time.”

“Wikipedia, seriously?” Leo judged.

“Well it’s not like you have any experience with this stuff!” Donnie pointed out.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Leo admitted. “And because of that, I say it’s best to just play it safe and leave now so we can arrive on time.”

“You just want to see Y/n, don’t you?” Mikey teased, poking out from behind the three.

“I do not!” He defended.

“Yeah right, I bet you can’t wait to see her all dressed up.” Donnie smirked.

“Oh please stop.”

“Yeah, and he’ll probably ask her to dance.” Raph joined in.

“Ask her to- what? No!”

“Aww you’re probably gonna try and get all cozy with her so you can start making out together. Mm mm mwa!” Mikey made the noise right next to Leo’s ear, causing him to jump.

“No, no and no.” Leo pointed at each of his brothers. “We’re just going to go and everything’s going to be chill, no one’s going try or ask or do anything. Ok?”

His brothers all exchanged squinted side-eyes before Donnie casually shrugged. “Whatever you say Nardo.”

“But seriously, let’s go. It’s party time!” Raph cheered as they all began to leave.

————————————

The lower half of building where the party was happening was entirely quiet in contrast to the loud bass and blaring lights that could be seen and heard towards the top level.

Leo and his brothers were caught up in some conversation when they opened the door but stopped as they were immediately swarmed by almost everyone in the room.

“Hey, oh my gosh it’s you!”

“Yo guys, the turtles are here!”

“Love the costumes.”

Amongst the chaos Leo managed to spot April doing her best to wave from the back of the crowd.

“Hey guys I see April, imma go over and say hi.”

“Yeah I gotta go to, see you all.” Donnie quickly waved as he headed over to talk to his friends.

As they all disbanded so did the crowd and Leo was able to easily walk across the room.

“Hey April!” He smiled and waved.

“Leo, hey! You all good after whatever that was.” April raised her eyebrows and glanced over to the entrance before looking back at Leo.

“Yeah, it’s still hard to get used to so many people liking us now.” He nervously laughed.

“Speaking of people who like you.” April mumbled. “Hey Y/n, Leo’s here!”

Y/n glanced to where the two were and turned to start walking over. “Oh, hey Leo!”

Leo looked over in her direction, feeling a pile of nerves simply at the prospect of greeting her. But when he saw what she was wearing everything increased by a million.

It was like one of those slow motion sparkly walks that you see in movies. Where everything fades out and all you can see is the pretty love interest waking forward with romantic music playing in the background. At least, that’s how Leo saw it.

“Hey, Y/n. Uh I like your costume. Catwoman! You look amazing.” His cheeks heated up the longer he spent looking at her.

“Thanks! I was originally thinking of going as Carol Marcus (Star Trek character, for those who don’t know) but I figured people would get this reference more.” She smiled and held her hands together.

Oh wow, so no matter what she wore she was going to end up dressing as the love interest for one of the heroes he pictured himself as. Leo figured he may as well die on the spot because his brain was no longer working.

“Oh, so you’re into older stuff. That’s pretty cool.” Seriously Leo, that just sounded obnoxious!

“Yeah. Well anyway, I’m going to go get something to drink. Do either of you want anything?” Y/n asked. April waved off the offer.

“Nah I’m good, thanks though!”

“You don’t need to get me anything.” Leo shyly smiled. Thank goodness blush was less visible on his skin or else he’d be dead.

“Okay! I’ll see you guys around then. See you later!” Y/n waved as she walked off into the crowd.

“Bye!” April called.

“See ya!” Leo anxiously chuckled. He stood in a slouched position for a moment.

“At least try to stand upright when you’re talking to her. You look like you just got punched in the gut.” April advised, causing Leo to stand upright quickly.

“Oh r-right, of course.” He coughed into his hand and gave April a blatant, overly toothy smile.

“So.” She spoke up. “What did you think of Y/n’s costume?”

“C-costume. Right, yes, her costume. I love it I think it’s really pretty and well-made.” Leo closed his eyes in an attempt to stay composed. An attempt that failed miserably, I might add.

“Maybe you should have gone as Batman, then you two could’ve paired up.” Leo frowned and gave April an aggressive side-eye.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” April smiled and patted Leo on the head, causing him to sigh and look down.

“No I don’t.”

Y/n’s costume was the only thing on Leo’s mind for the rest of the night. Anytime he noticed her he couldn’t help but sneak glances every few minutes.

He was talking to a group of friends and had to be snapped back to reality as he couldn’t stop looking over in her direction.

There was even a point where she noticed him and he immediately looked away with a bright red face. But, then again, his face was already a blushing mess for most of the night.

He could barely get near Y/n because every time he did, his heart would race and he’d begin to feel an overwhelming amount of nerves? Love? Maybe a mix of both…

Either way, point is he was helpless. Helpless to his own feelings. So when everyone started gathering to dance to a popular song and Y/n grabbed his hand to pull him in, oh how the world felt irrelevant.

Little did he know, Y/n did this intentionally so she’d be able to dance with him. The two looked at each other and began laughing while uncontrollably smiling as the music played.

Feeling bold, Y/n decided to go in for a dip which caught Leo off-guard but he succeeded in catching her. Now they were even closer, very much unbelievably closer. What would happen if the two just inched their faces forward and…

“Who wants to play truth or dare!” Some random person yelled, leading the entire room to erupt into cheers.

Y/n quickly followed the large crowd of people as a circle started to form and waved over Leo as he was still repeating that entire sequence of events in his head. Was that a ‘we should kiss’ moment or a ‘we’re having fun’ moment because he really couldn’t tell!

Well now it was over and he instead found himself in a circle with Donnie on his right, Raph on his left, and Y/n sat opposite him from across the circle.

The game began and went on for a few rounds till some guy decided to point at Y/n.

“Y/n! Truth or dare?” Feeling hyped up, Y/n chose to go for the more interesting choice.

“Dare.”

The guy let out a menacing chuckle and began rubbing his hands together. “Alright, I dare you… to text your crush.”

“Pfft what are you, five?” Y/n burst out laughing.

“Five year olds can text now?” He asked.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully before pulling her phone out. Leo’s mind started racing. Who was she going to text? Would it be him? What if it wasn’t him? What if she lied? What if it was one of his brothers? What if-

“I can’t, phones dead.” She shrugged before placing her phone back down beside her. The guy groaned.

“Ok. Then I dare you… to pledge your elegance to the holy sanctimony of caterpillar.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/n raised her eyebrows.

“It’s a thing.” He nonchalantly replied.

“It’s not a thing.” The girl next to him shook her head. He waved his hand dismissively at her.

“It’s totally a thing.”

“Alright then. I pledge my elegance to the holy sanctimony of caterpillar.” Y/n gave a confused look as the guy raised his fists.

“Huzzah! Welcome, to the caterpillar cult.” She stifled a laugh at his absurd announcement.

“What the? Uh, ok I guess that’s my turn. Um… Leo! Truth or dare?” She made eye contact with him, only briefly but still.

“Uh, um. Ehh truth.” Stupid Leo. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Y/n began to look around for ideas. “Ok, since we were on the topic of crushes I think it’s only right to ask; who do you have a crush on?” She smiled and leaned forward, followed by everyone else in the circle.

Honestly, she may have played it as a teasing joke but Y/n genuinely wanted to know. Yes she knew he’d probably lie but his response would at least give away something.

“Who do I have a crush on?” Leo began sweating bullets and avoided eye contact at all costs. “Uh well I have a crush on a girl, human, a human girl. Yep, that’s-that’s who it is.”

“Uh huh. Yeah I asked who they are not what they are so, I’m gonna need a little more information than that.” Y/n smiled deviously, she just wanted to know a little

more.

“She’s charming, s-smart, uh pretty very pretty ca-c-p-person that, of whom I know to a certain degree.” He began internally cringing at how he had stuttered. Dammit Leo! Why do you have to be you?

Y/n sat there for a good moment, analysing all the info she’d just got out of him. “Mmm… good enough! You go.”

He let out a quiet sigh of relief before turning to his right. “Whew. Donnie, truth or dare?

“Truth.” Not a moment of hesitation.

Leo smiled jokingly, hoping to act all teasing to take the pressure off of himself. “Who do you have a cru-“

“Don’t.” Donnie replied sternly.

“Ok.” He got the message and quickly reeled back.

The game finished up soon after and everyone split off to go do different things.

The rest of the night went as it did before. Leo would be talking to someone, look over in Y/n’s direction, feel like his stomach had turned into a butterfly enclosure and turn back to the people he was talking too, ignoring the increasing blush covering his face.

Every minute, every second, every waking moment of his existence had just been infiltrated by the thought of Y/n and her stunning outfit.

And Y/n noticed. Oh she noticed. It’s what led her to walk up to him the second she saw he was alone.

“Hey Leo.” She sat down next to him. Oh boy, here he goes again.

“Hey Y/n, again. How many times have we greeted each other tonight now?” Leo wondered leading Y/n to giggle slightly.

“I don’t know. The party’ll be over soon so I figured I’d try to sneak in one more moment with you before we all have to leave.” She leaned to the side and bumped her shoulder playfully with his. Leo’s eyes widened after hearing what she said.

“It’s already near the end? That was quick.” Y/n burst out laughing.

“Leo, it’s like 11pm. We’ve been here for hours!”

“Wait seriously!?” He sat up straighter with his hands as support before sinking back into a comfortable position. “Huh, time really does fly by.”

A moment of silence passed till Leo decided to ignore his nerves and speak up.

“By the way, I never actually told you how much I like your outfit.”

“Oh you don’t have to.” Y/n tried to wave him off.

“But seriously, it’s super pretty and looks amazing on you. I love it.” Leo grinned genuinely while gesturing to her outfit.

“Thanks Leo, I love your costume too. How did you even manage to get it on?” Y/n wondered.

“Help from Raph.” Leo stated.

“Ahh I see...” They both fell into silence again for a little while. Feeling nervous, Y/n glanced to the side and decided to just drop the bomb by asking “Are we- do we have a thing going on between us or is that just me being stupid?”

“Huh, uh w-what?” Leo’s eyes widened in shock as he turned to look at her. She in turn looked in his direction, although her gaze rested just a little off to the side from his face as she felt too anxious to make eye contact with him.

“Like I know, or at least I think I know, that you’ve been looking over at me a few times tonight and it felt like there was something going on back when we were dancing with everyone else. So I’m just wondering if it’s like a thing or not, you know?” Y/n chose to finally make eye contact with Leo and was met with his adorably awkward, blushing face.

“I’m going to be totally honest with you I assumed you just thought I was being weird.” He sunk his head down a little, tensing at the topic of conversation. Y/n smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

“Leo you’re like the most amazing person I know. Also, I’m not gonna lie, I thought it was pretty cute how you were acting the whole night.” She blushed and look down to the side again. Leo was once again overcome with surprise but tried his best to keep it together.

“You thought, oh. I think your pretty cute too uh not just in that costume but in general like I think your super pretty every day, all the time.” He laughed nervously and gave Y/n an adoring look.

“Ok I’m just going to say it because I think it’s super obvious at this point.” Y/n took a deep breath to try and calm down. “I’ve already practically said it but I like you. And I mean that in a more than friends way.” She confessed.

“Thank god, because I like you as so much more than a friend.” Leo sighed. Y/n smiled and decided to lean in, whispering something in his ear. Leo quickly perked up and his entire face turned pink.

“Heh.”

————————————

Leo smiled nervously as he walked back towards a corner of the room, Y/n following.

“You know I’m not really used to this kind of thing so I don’t know-“

He didn’t even get a complete sentence out before Y/n began to kiss him. They kissed again as she wrapped her arms around his neck and slightly pushed him further back. They went for another kiss and another before they both pulled away and Leo sighed.

“I love being a turtle.”

They both smiled and quickly went back to their make-out session. Best party ever.

What no one noticed though was the mysterious figure hidden on the side of a building facing the party. They were dressed in purple and black with a mask covering their entire face, yellow buggish eyes that looked almost like goggles, a long bandana wrapped around their head and the symbol of a red foot displayed clearly on the front of their outfit.

“I’ve located the turtles, and it looks like they’ve already made some friends.”

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know it’s just meant to be fluff but I couldn’t help myself, I need the foot clan to appear already 😭. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please keep requesting, peace, love, and have an awesome day/night wherever you are!✨

[bee-saucee]

Guilty Pleasures | ShinKami Headcanons

I know so many people are on the Shinsou likes black coffee train but can we please give a boat to Shinsou loving super sweet coffee with all the fixings? If he was a pro hero, I think people would really push the black coffee headcanon thing on him plus he’d feel guilty about the extra calories so his Carmel Frappuccinos are an occasional thing

Denki eats UP bad reality TV. Dance moms? Yes. Too Hot To Handle. Absolutely. Keeping up with the Kardashians? He’s watched every season. He will gladly admit to watching them if they come up but he definitely frames it as a guilty pleasure

Shinsou loves splurging on high-end nice cat treats and accessories. Does he need another hand-crafted elevated water bowl that looks like a flower from Etsy for his cat? No. But will he get one because “what if his baby forgets to drink water?” Yes.

Kaminari likes to keep shoe and tech boxes because they’d be “great for storage” and they feel special but he has so many at this point each new box is just taking up space

Shinkami collectively enjoys stalking their high school classmates and old friends on social media together and overanalyzing each post. Shinsou: She didn’t add a heart to this post about her boyfriend. I suspect they’re going through a rough patch or got into a fight. Denki: No definitely. I’m gonna say he forgot their anniversary. Shinsou: Shit

Thanks for reading! Check out my masterlist for more.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

@hermitdrabbles56 @thepinklink

“Legend.”

Turning, Legend glanced at Warriors, who was charge for the night.

“We’ve got a nursing student,” Warriors started to say, and Legend felt his entire body stiffen because he immediately knew where this conversation was going. “They’re going to be with you for the night.”

“You’re doing this to torture me, aren’t you?” Legend grumbled, pulling a laugh out of his friend.

“Oh come now, it’ll be an extra set of hands to help you!”

“It’ll be someone to babysit and make sure they don’t hurt my patients.”

“They have to learn somehow, Ledge.”

Legend rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

When the nursing student came to him, bright eyed and excited, but tense with an anxiety that accompanied their new situation and environment, the travel nurse couldn’t help but sigh some of the annoyance out of himself. The kid’s energy instead dredged up some sympathy. Pointing at their assignment, Legend gave a brief report on each patient.

“Okay. So bed 4 is Grandma. You be nice to her and respect her. She’s very sweet. Broke her hip and is insisting she doesn’t need pain meds. We’re grabbing them anyway because I’m worried about her. Bed 5 is Pipsqueak. Little kid probably has bronchitis. Sounds like death, poor thing. Doc’s gonna prescribe some antibiotics, we’ll show mom and dad how to do inhaler treatments and nebulizar treatments and send them home. Bed 6 is Frankenstein. I think the guy’s ok but he groans like he’s a newly created monster, you ask him if he’s ok and he’s totally chill. So I think that’s just how he is. He’s got some mild dementia, not the most reliable narrator. Fell at the nursing home, unwitnessed, got a lac on his head so he’ll be getting a CT. Bed 7 is open for a hit.”

The nursing student scribbled furiously, nodding along but occasionally giving him strange looks.

As the shift progressed, Legend found himself having to stop and explain every little inconsequential detail he did, the skills that were on autopilot. He was exasperated, as it did slow him down, but he tried to stay patient. He was still half convinced Warriors had done this to torture him.

“Okay, I think nursing school teaches you to chase the needle into the cap but we don’t have time for that and it knocks the cap off the table half the time so just ground your hand with your other palm and reseal the needle carefully.” Legend explained as he capped a needle after drawing up medicine. He found himself saying this a lot, remembering what nursing school said versus the reality of the situation. The poor nursing student stayed generally quiet through most of the shift, simply trying to keep up.

By the end of the night, Legend found himself half collapsed in a chair, utterly exhausted. It hasn’t even been that eventful of a shift, but with the student he’d had to triple check their work and his own, trying to explain anything he could. Kid had to learn, after all.

The nursing student smiled as she gathered her things. “Thank you so much for teaching me. I had fun. You’re a really good nurse.”

Legend blinked, staring at her and barely getting a “no problem,” out as she left. Her words settled over him, sinking heavier and heavier as he gathered his things in the locker room.

You’re a really good nurse. When was the last time he thought that? He knew he was a good nurse. He did. But…

Warriors caught his eye as he entered to go to his own locker.

“How was it?” He asked.

Legend sighed, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “It… wasn’t that bad.”

[petricat-art-jpg]

is it really self-isolation if everyone hates you?

idk how to format this, but, this is a fic about what happened when emily went to go talk to "sam" (mike). just some things to note... in this narrative:

emily is a lesbian

mike is bisexual

matt is a vincian

both emily and mike were cheating on each other with other people

emily was cheating on mike with sam and jess

matt doesn't know any of this

there is no nsfw just angst (i don't really write nsfw anyway)

“MICHAEL.”

Emily’s heart is pounding in her chest. This idiot just had to go and scare her.

“You really, really should have seen your faces just now,” Mike says, through laughter.

Matt complains, “Dude, I almost clocked you just now.” Emily wishes that he did, because Mike doesn’t even seem like he’s listening, just muttering “Nice one!” to himself. “Michael, you’re a jerk,” she chastises, disappointed.

The man in question has to protest, “Come on guys, we’re all friends here, right?” A raised eyebrow from Emily and Matt. “No need for violence, just a little harmless fun. We’re up in the woods, it’s spooky, come on, let’s get into the spirit of things!”

Emily is getting really irritated now. “The spirit of things? Seriously? What’s wrong with you.” 

Mike deflates a little. “I’m just trying to lighten the mood, Em. Don’t be like that.” She can feel her face heat up. “Like what?”

“The way you’re being, you always get like this.”

Emily winces. She doesn’t want to admit it, especially not to his face, but she feels like he’s right. She just can’t find it in her to laugh. But, is it really her fault if she can’t help it? And anyway, why can’t anyone just take her seriously, just this once? Matt decides to interject. “Michael… I’m just gonna lay it out, otherwise this whole weekend’s gonna suck ass for everyone.” Oh good, finally he defends her. “Um, this is super awkward, and we all know it.” What? “Let’s just, uh, acknowledge it now and move on. Okay?” Not okay. She starts, “Matt-” but she can’t get a word in, because Mike responds, “I hear you man. I get it; I don’t wanna make this weird.” Ugh. If he didn’t wanna make this weird, he didn’t have to jump out like that.

But, men are men, and the two of them seem to come to the conclusion that they’re “good”. She can’t be bothered to ruin the mood anymore, so she just throws out, “You guys gonna make out now?” This seems to make Mike happy, because he jokes back, “Oh my God, totally, we’re sooo gonna make out!” 

An awkward pause, and then back to reality. “Uh, no, seriously, I’m gonna check out the cable car back down the trail.”

And, with a few “see ya’s!”, he’s off to his destination. Emily feels stuck. She knows she should just, ignore everything, and go back up to the cabin for a fun weekend, but, as she looks back at the cable car station…

Emily smacks her head with her palm. “Ah, crap!”

After some bickering, she manages to (painstakingly) convince Matt to take the rest of the bags up to the lodge, so she can go talk to “Sam.” She doesn’t know why she’s lying, it’s not like she’s going to cheat on him with Mike. She knows she won’t, because—

Because why? She’s not into him? That would make sense, she supposes; When you get a new boyfriend you’re only supposed to have eyes for him. Except, she doesn’t, because when she thinks about doing it with him, the air on the mountain gets a little colder. 

She wishes she was actually going to see Sam, right now. The thought of her is so warm, and soft, and pretty—

Okay, she REALLY needs to stop with that. That was the whole reason she’s in this mess; those bad, bad thoughts. And anyway, she has to focus, because she has caught up with Mike.

"Hey, wait," she calls out. He turns around, surprised to see her chasing after him. He inquires, “what’s up,” and her words come out stumbling.

"I just…” She pauses to catch her breath. “Matt's right, we are gonna be up here together for a while, and... I just wanna set things straight. So, let’s talk, okay?" Mysteriously, his demeanor softens, his eyes drifting away in thought, before he brings his attention back to her, and finally says, “Okay. What’s there to talk about?” A valid question.

Emily has to look away before getting into it. “I know that— what happened back then, I know it wasn’t right. I know we aren’t together anymore, obviously, but I still want to be friends? So…” A deep breath in. “I’m sorry.” She has to shut her eyes. “I’m sorry about how it all went down. I want to say I didn’t consider it cheating, but deep down, I feel like…” She finally gathers the courage to look him in the eyes. They look back with compassion, and it gives her the strength to continue, “I just wanted an excuse. If I could pretend it didn’t count as a real relationship, then it wouldn’t be wrong. But, it was wrong, because I wronged you. So… I’m sorry. Really, I am,” she grabs his hands out of desperation for him to understand.

He lets her. "Hey, I get it.” That was all he uttered, but Emily could feel the weight behind those words. "You do?"

"Yeah." A nod of his head. “And, if it means anything, I’m sorry too.”

Emily doesn’t feel satisfied. Whether it’s because she can hear that that apology was meant for someone else, or because her own guilt hasn’t gone away, she isn’t sure—but she finds herself pulling away and instinctually folding her arms in. She doesn’t get the chance to create any real distance, though, as Mike cups her face in his hands. “Hey,” he coaxes, gently wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “I promise, everything will be okay. Okay?” Emily nods with a little “yeah” and a sniffle. She can hear the sound of Mike convincing himself, too, nestled in there somewhere. She elects to ignore it and lean into the comfort.

The sick feeling in her stomach hasn't gone away, but she somehow feels hopeful.

Emily playfully pushes Mike away. "Okay, I’ve had enough vulnerability for one day. Go away now." They share a much needed laugh, and go their separate ways.

Things seemed better. She thought her and Mike had come to an understanding; which was why it hurt so much to see that insolent display of “love” on the couch. A betrayal from both him and Jess.

She lashed out. She knew she was being unreasonable, but it was like that switch had flipped off, and another her took over. She was right here, and at the same time, far away. Too far to protest or reason with herself.

However, no amount of distance could shield her from the sting of Jessica’s (admittedly petty) scathing insults. Bearing the pain, all she could do was snarl and snap back in a pathetic attempt to protect herself.

After all is said and done, Emily finds herself trudging through the snow with Matt. Her mind is reeling. Did Jess really mean all that? Were they still friends? What the hell just happened? So many questions, so little answers. She hates feeling confused. She hates everything, and everyone. Fuck this.

If there's one thing Emily is certain about, it's that she is alone.

[fancoloredglasses]

[RERUN] Crisis on Infinite Earths, issue 11: “Aftershock” (Same great universe, now 80% smaller!)

[All images are owned by DC Comics, please don’t sue me]

PREVIOUSLY ON…

A being known as the Anti-Monitor has destroyed all but 5 of the universes in existence) with a single survivor on Earth-6 (Lady Quark) and Earth-Prime (Superboy) along for the ride)

Unfortunately, the process was unstable, meaning that time has merged (meaning mammoths and futuristic aliens are among modern skyscrapers) in the areas where the Earths are merged (which are called “Warp Zones”)

The Anti-Monitor’s last three attempts to destroy the multiverse have been thwarted (at the cost of many lives, including Supergirl and Earth-1’s Flash)

The Anti-Monitor’s fourth attempt brought the battle to the Dawn of Time, where the Anti-Monitor attempted to destroy the multiverse before it began, but his efforts were thwarted by the Spectre.

…or were they? As the pair fought for control, reality shattered around them and the assembled heroes!

Now, on with our story! If you would like to read this issue, it (along with the rest of the series) has been collected in graphic novel form and is available (or can be ordered) at your favorite comic shop, bookstore, or online retailer…or on Read Comic Online.

[WARNING: Things are gonna get a bit weirder and more confusing than they’ve been to this point (and that’s saying something!) Furthermore, the jokes could be a bit thin here. I’m not certain if you’ll call that a bad thing or not]

We open on Clark Kent (Kal-L) as he wakes up from a bizarre dream. His wife Lois obviously let him sleep in…and redecorated? He heads to his “day job” as managing editor of the Daily Star. He enters his office and is about to get to work…

…when Perry White barges in and demands to know who’s in his office. That’s when Kal-L noticed Perry’s name on the office door. In barges Clark Kent (Superman) who apologizes to Perry and introduces his “Uncle Clark” before escorting Kal-L from the building.

On the top of the Daily Planet, they guess that somehow after the Spectre’s fight with the Anti-Monitor, they both were transported to Earth-1. They fly to the warp zone in New York…

…only it’s not there. What’s more, no one remembers there ever being anything weird in the area (though they do remember Supergirl’s death).

They then fly to Central City, where the Flash (who is still considered “missing”, as no one was present for his sacrifice) stored his cosmic treadmill…

…only to see the twin cities of Central City (home to Earth-1′s Flash) and Keystone City (home to Earth-2′s Flash) Sure enough, Jay Garrick (Earth-2′s Flash) and his wife Joan greet the pair. Joan doesn’t remember what happened, but Jay does. They fetch Kid Flash and start the cosmic treadmill and break through the dimensional barrier

…to a void; Earth-2 isn’t there! What’s more, Kal-L feels the void calling to him, like he belongs there…though the Flash doesn’t feel the same call!

They return before Kal-L can run to the void, and everyone reaches the same conclusion: there is only one universe now, but obviously elements of the old realities are different from the new reality…and some elements never existed!

While the four contact as many heroes as they can find to discuss the ramifications, we switch to deep space. Rip Hunter’s time sphere (carrying Hunter, Adam Strange, Captain Comet, Dolphin, Atomic Knight, and Animal Man) encounter Brainiac’s ship adrift.

They board to investigate and discover the corpse (if a robot can have a corpse) of Brainiac.

Back on Earth, many of the heroes have gathered at Titan’s Tower, where they’re all checking each others’ math to make sure everyone has put two and two together. Huntress and Earth-2′s Robin explain that they, like Kal-L, don’t exist in this “new Earth”. Superboy-Prime is shocked when he finds out his Earth never existed either (that’s what happens when your universe was written in just so it could become a victim. Just ask Lady Quark)

Suddenly, Harbinger appears (having somehow regained her powers due to the new reality) and confirms this fact, and explains that some elements of each individual earths’ histories no longer existed (though reality seems to have conformed around Earth-1 primarily. I guess DC would have lost a lot of readers if it conformed around Earth-X), meaning only the modern versions of the “duplicate” heroes (like Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman) are part of this new reality, while heroes that share a name, but not a past (like Flash, Green Lantern, and Atom) exist alongside their younger counterparts. 

Kal-L flips out at this news, as it means that he will never see his wife Lois again.

As Kal-L flies off in a streak of self-pity, we switch to the Spirit Realm, where the Spectre lies unconscious, severely weakened by his battle with the Anti-Monitor (I’m sure this will be important later)

Back on Earth, the heroes continue to compare notes. It seems the villains don’t remember the multiverse (since they weren’t at the Dawn of Time), but it seems that Power Girl (Kal-L’s cousin) is remembered. No one is sure how that works.

Suddenly, the weather turns ugly, just as it did when a universe was about to–

Uh-oh…

Earth has been pulled into the Anti-Matter universe!

…dedulcnoc eb oT

[cherphadetseuk]

Things I want to see in Only Friends but one episode is by far not enough for any of that.

SandRay: I want to see Ray in rehab, I want to see how he struggles, how he relapses because so far it all looks like he's just fine going and nothing bad will happen. I want Sand to be by his side through his struggles and I wanna SEE it. Not just hear it or get a time skip being like...oh yeah, Ray went through his rehab and now is living happily ever after with Sand in his mansion and they're flying around the globe to see all the musicians. Okay bye that's it for Only Friends. Thank you for sticking with us through 12 painful, short episodes. No. I wanna SEE all of that. There either has to be a Season 2 or a SandRay spin-off, I don't care. I want it. Give it to me. All their scenes give me life and I know I’m extremely biased towards them but I can’t help it. They’re just so cute and as a Sand stan I just want him to be happy and appreciated and if Ray is that person than I’m 100% here for it. Given Ray had many eye-openers as well he will be that person. They’re good for each other and I am happy if they get that happy ending.

Sand and his dad: I want Sand to talk to his dad because I am 100% pretty damn sure he had the intention to say something after they talked for that short time in that episode before Ray interrupted for that heartwrenching short scene of them hugging. I wanna see more of his dad in general because they've been building up to this because why talk so much about him and show several scenes of Sand being at that club to see him perform when nothing comes of it. I wanna know who his dad is, I wanna know why the parents aren't together anymore. I wanna know more background on all of Sand's upbringing. Which brings me to his mum...I just want more of her. Period. I love her. That scene with her and Ray was everything. She's such a stable figure in Sand's life, guiding him while he supports her and now she's even guiding Ray because she's a mum and she knows her son and she knows about them and knows they're good for each other. I like supportive parental figures.

BostonNick: Same as with SandRay I wanna see the developement of their relationship. Nick didn't actually say yes officially to Boston's proposal of them being boyfriends until he leaves for NY. Nick also giving Boston a reality check with what he said to Atom about “don’t get attached to assholes”. He was literally calling Boston out at the same time which given Boston’s reaction, he knew it as well. Boston had a lot of eye-opening moments in the past 2 episodes so I hope they can make it work somehow. Whether Nick says yes or no, we’ll see. However, if he does I want them to like get attached and I want to see them develop the relationship. I want Boston to go to NY and them missing each other and Nick to be thinking about following Boston. I know, cliché, but I could totally see that. But I don't want him to just drop everything and follow Boston blindly. I want them to communicate and for Nick to say that he will finish his internship or whatever he does, to think about himself as well, and then maybe follow Boston later to pursue a career in NY because he'd be doing well in the US with animation. New York, the city of unlimited opportunities, he could do it. But I want them to have that long distance relationship first, to struggle, to communicate, to make it natural and not just bam here we go, two years later, Nick and Boston are happy living in NY together in a fancy flat. Again, BostonNick spin-off or Season 2. Thank you very much. I realised that BostonNick and SandRay are literally the same. Nick and Sand both being pushed around and dropped and used and all that and Boston and Ray both realising at the same time what they have of their other, how there's literally only one person who cares about them and none of them are from the friends group but I'm not gonna go there because that friends group is non-existent in my eyes. Except of Nick and Sand there was no actual friendship going on there that was even remotely healthy or supportive. Which brings me to:

Nick & Sand: I wanted more of this friendship. I wanted to see more how they live together after everything that happened. Mental breakdowns from their boyfriends/FWB relationships, them hanging out, talking, supporting each other. I just wanted more of this because again, healthiest friendship. They are roommates after all but we never actually SEEN them living together except of that one scene where Sand apologised for giving that audio to Ray. That was the only roommate scene we got in all of this and I felt like they would have been good for bonding over mutual shite they went through. I just wanted more of this friendship. They have like the most limited scenes together for the fact that they are both main characters. If Nick was just a random roommate it would have been different but he wasn't just random. They were both outsiders having been brought in into this mess from the outside. TopMew: Now, this is my problem couple. I don't dislike them. I'm actually a Top lover. I have never disliked him. I disliked some of his actions obviously but I never hated him like 99% of the people did. However, I'm happy Top gets a second chance. Deserved or not that's to debate because some people don't think so others do (like me) but that aside, I actually liked Top calling out Mew for the behaviour. Mew seemed to be unforgiving, which he also mentioned, but he's here giving Top a second chance, saying he's still in love with him but his facial expressions don't show it the same while Top is there struggling with his emotions and crying over the mistakes he has made. I want to see them working through those issues. Again, I just wanna see the development after everything that has happened. How they maybe go back to the way they used to be or maybe not, who knows. But one episode is not enough for that. Also we get the preview for the finale episode with the fire. Which brings me to:

Top: I feel like out of all the characters we know the least about him. All the other main characters have their dreams and their past and their struggles and we actually get to see and hear it. We don't know Top's dreams for the future. Where he wants to be, what he wants to do. We barely touched on his trauma, his ptsd (I think that's what he has, I forgot). We know his trauma is fire. We had that one flashback, we had the break-up scene where Mew lights the drawing on fire (which bold move, given he knows Top has a trauma with fire) but Top's reaction, I was not sure if it's just the break-up or actual fear because he was very expressive in that scene. However, we never see Top struggle with his PTSD, which his sleep problems, we hear about things but we never really touch on it. I want more of his story, want to know more about his past, his struggles. We also don't hear anything about his drug usage and everything. We had the halloween party and we still don't really know what happened between him and that police officer and him using drugs in general. Other than he's Mew's on and off boyfriend, we have no insight and it's kinda sad because I like him and I wanna know how all this came to be to begin with. Boston: I already talked about him in relation to Nick but I also wanna know more about his past because given how he acts towards his hookups and the fact that Nick would be his first boyfriend, he seems like to either have commitment issues, family problems or anything that made him shy away from falling in love and commitment. The way he both reacted to Nick and Atom in regard of them telling him they love him is like a defence mechanism. I feel like he’s in a similar situation with Yo. I love Boston but he has been stirring up a lot of shit in the first few episodes but he never actually came clean and apologised. He apologised to Nick for being an idiot but he never apologised for the dumb shit he spread around, the fact that he toyed with Nick and his friends and how he realised how everything went to shit AFTER Nick walked away and his friends. He got a slap in the face to make him realise but he never apologised for any of it to anyone.

YoPlug: In all honesty, the healthiest relationship we’ve seen in all of this show but then they just gone and put in some drama here too. Glad they resolved it and gone back. I want more of them. They were very small and a side ship, I get it. There’s not enough time in 12 episodes to develop 500 different relationships but I want more. I wanna SEE more of them. I want to see Yo move in with him, I want at least ONE scene of them outside of Y.O.L.O. I love them. I wish they’d get a spin-off. I wanna know how they got together, I wanna know more about Yo and her issues with past relationships. I just want more of them. Please and thank you. The mum’s: More mum’s please and thank you. Mew’s mums, I wanna know their story, I wanna know what they went through as a same-sex couple in their generation in Thailand. I wanna know how they got to become Mew. I just want more. More of Mew’s mum, more of Sand’s mum. In all honestly I would even love to know more about Ray’s mum, even tho that would just be dramatic and sad. I feel like Ray’s dad needs more screentime. He tries. I can see that. I don’t think he doesn’t care about Ray. He obviously does given he asked Sand for help because he knew he fucked up his relationship with Ray and Ray would not listen to him so he went behind his back to bribe Sand with money. It’s not necessarily a healthy move to bribe people with money who he knows need money and probably have the big chance to say yes and give in. We know how easy Sand was with giving in with Ray as well. As a broke human being, I get it. 100%. However, that doesn’t mean Ray’s dad doesn’t care. As I remember, Ray’s mum probably did what she did because her husband had no time for that relationship either. He didn’t become a workaholic after her death but we have to know that it had an immense impact on him as well. Psychologically. But he knew Ray was going the same route and he didn’t want to make the same mistake again but because shit has already gone too far in their father/son relationship he had to go with a different approach and that was Sand. The ONLY person who actually showed interest and care in Ray and his dad saw that and took it as an opportunity. I can’t honestly blame him. I don’t know if his and Ray’s relationship can be fixed but I’d love to see it as well. But again, we have ONE more episode. None of what I wrote here will happen in that ONE episode. Who am I forgetting. Oh of course. The MAIN thing I wanna know more about.

Sand/Top/Boeing: We know since episode 1 that Top apparently has stolen Sand’s Ex. Enter Boeing. Who also came out of nowhere so those characters never have good intentions. However, I wanna know HOW this all came to be. I am not sure if Boeing truly feels bad about dropping Sand. If he truly still have some sort of feelings for him and feels bad for what he did. Like Top. However, I am also not sure if it’s all a game as well. I can’t read him. He seems fishy. I don’t know if his intentions with Sand are truthful or if he’s just here to mess around. Kinda like Boston 2.0 from the first few episodes stirring up drama in all the ships. I DO however wanna know about their past and how Sand got to be with Boeing and how Boeing cheated on him with Top. Is Top really the bad guy here or was Boeing doing something to make it seem like Top was the bad guy. Was it truthful or not. We know nothing. We know he existed as a no-name for all those episodes but then he suddenly appears and we don’t know his intentions. In all honestly, dude should just go be the flight attendant he wants to be (which I still find hilarious given his name). I mean, dude is objectively hot. I wouldn’t mind being on an 11 hour flight with Thai Airlines and having someone like him bringing me my food. He’s an ass but he’s still eye candy haha. Sand better set him straight. At first I was like, WTF is Ray doing inviting him home but I think I get it. Honestly tho, I would love to see an even ground between Sand and Top given they have the same “enemy”. Given that TopMew seem to work it out and SandRay are working it out and RayMew seem to gone back to regular friends, they will still see of the other in some way or another. Which, oh, there is also another unsolved issue. Not issue since they DID talk but we literally got nothing around it:

RayMew: So apparently that happened, apparently it ended. They talked. They’re friends. We know Mew got with Ray because of his revenge plot. That whole Halloween party happened but nothing that happened at this party has been resolved in any way. Mew started smoking, taking drugs. It happened in the same breath as it ended. Atom: I’m gonna be completely honest, that scene with him and his sister was the biggest WTF scene of all of this show. Like, I understand it’s her brother and family is different. However, if MY sister pulled this shit I would have slapped her. Not in a “I hate you I will never see you again” way but in a “what the fuck were you thinking!!” way and I would have yelled at her for saying such bad stuff about someone else when it was a complete lie. We know Boston has been playing around and all but that was a horrible assumption to make and it could have gone a lot worse than it did. I would have made him go and apologise to Boston. However, now that BostonNick have set him straight, I would like to see him go out in the world and find himself with his eyes open to his new-found sexuality and get a good guy for him. Nobody from the friends group, nobody we know. Just himself and someone else in a healthy way. I would like to say the same about Dan. I know he likes Nick and I would be lying if I didn’t say they would be cute. However, we know Nick has different priorities so I guess Dan is gonna take the short stick. However, I like him and I hope Nick still gets the chance to be working with him and not drop him because of personal issues. Nick deserves the opportunity but at the same time I understand how not easy it would be to work with someone you like but doesn’t like you back like that. Tho Nick did seem to have some sort of feelings towards him. Let Dan have a happy ending to, with anyone. I think that’s it. I don’t know. I probably forgot a lot of things. So long story short! We need a Season 2!!!

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow & Urban : BIRTHDAY TWINS

Requested and ideas from the wonderful @harlowcomehome 🤗❤️‍🔥 she originally asked for only the gifts the kids made but y’all know me I like to make a mess and mix it all up. Hope I did it justice 🙈

“Niños aquí está todo lo que necesitan, use whatever you want. If you need to use the hot glue gun make sure you ask tia or me.” You tell Cassie, Mia and Ezequiel.

“Okay mama thank you.”

“We’ll be sitting over here if you need us.” Natalia says.

“Yes okay mom.” Ezequiel groans.

“Relax little dude.” Nat says jokingly.

You and your best friend Natalia go sit at the couches she has set up in the backyard, while you both keep an eye on the kids from your spot.

Today you were celebrating Jack and Urban’s birthday, so you and Nat had told the kids they were able to pick one thing they’d like to give their ninos, but they decided on making them something instead, to make it more special, as Mia liked to remind you.

“Who would’ve thought we’d be here, sipping on some margaritas watching our kids make arts and crafts for the boys?” Natalia asks.

You smile “It’s weird isn’t it? I mean for me it still is.”

“I mean it hasn’t even been a year Y/N, you have every right to have mixed feelings.”

You shrug “I’ll get over it. I just want it to be special for her, you know?”

She nods. “I get you on that part. No matter the fights I have with Jack, we put things aside when it comes to the kids.”

“That’s how it should always be.”

“NO EZ NOT THAT.”

You and Nat look at each other and smile “Back to reality.”

“JUST LET ME DO IT MIA.”

“My little monsters, what's going on?” Nat asks, walking towards them, you follow behind her.

“Mom EZ won’t let me decide on the color to put in my hand. It’s my hand so I pick.”

“Ezequiel let your sister choose the color for hers and you choose yours. No fighting, remember this is for Nino.”

“Tio Urban gonna be happy. He’s the best Tio ever.” Ezequiel says.

“No.” Cassie shakes her head “My nino Jack Jack is the bestest, he gonna love mine.”

“Cass, my Urby is the best. He always plays with me.”

“He’s not your Urby, he’s mine, and my Nino Jack Jack is the best anyways, he always sings with me.”

“Guys.” Mia says, shaking her head. “Nino Urb is your dad Cassie. Ezequiel, daddy is her Nino Jack Jack, so they’re both the best.” Mia tells them.

“My daddy is the best but my Tio Urby is the bestest.”

“No. Mine is.”

“Mama tell Cassie my Tio Urban is the best.” Ezequiel looks at Nat.

“They’re both the best, no competition.”

“Fine.”

“Whatever.”

“Are you guys almost done? Everyone will be here soon.” You ask.

“Almost Nina.” Mia answers.

“I’m going to make sure the enchiladas don’t burn.” 

Nat nods, “Can you check on the cake for me? Que no se esté escurriendo mucho la leche.” 

“Yeah, I got you.” 

You make your way inside to the kitchen and check inside the oven and take out the enchiladas. You then check on the cakes and make sure it isn’t spilling much milk. 

You’re closing the refrigerator door when Urban is walking into the kitchen.

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” You smile, “Happy birthday.” 

“Thank you.” There’s an awkward moment. “Is Cassie down for her nap?”

“No, she’s in the backyard with Nat and the kids.”

He nods, “Cool. cool.”

You both are silent and just looking at anything that isn’t at each other.

“This is weird right?” You say after a while.

“What is?”

You shrug, “I mean it’s been five months and it’s still pretty fresh, our divorce that is and me being here is probably weird for both of us?”

He’s looking at you as if you grew two heads. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s awkward, maybe I should just leave, have you spend your birthday with your family and friends.”

“You’re my family too Y/N, that will never change.” 

“You know what I meant.” You shrug and wrap your arms around yourself. “It’s your day and I- I don’t want it to be weird for you.” You feel the tears coming so you take a deep breath. “Excuse me.” You walk out the kitchen and head to the guest bedroom where you and Cassie would be staying for the weekend.

Once inside the bedroom you let the tears flow openly, you hear the door open. “Shit.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” He comes to hug you. “It’s just me, it’s ok.”

You shake your head, “It’s not okay.” 

“Tell me what you need?”

"Can you just hold me for a bit?”

“Yeah, I got you.” 

He holds you tight and rubs your back.

After a while you pull back. “It’s your birthday and here I am making it about me. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, look at me.” He lifts your chin up so you’re looking straight into his eyes. “Everything is ok, we’re good.”

You nod. “I’m just emotional, I usually wake up next to you on your birthday and we spend the morning in bed just talking so it was weird when you weren’t next to me.”

“You think I don’t miss that?” He raises his eyebrows. “You think it didn’t break my heart when I woke up and you weren’t beside me with a smile on your face and singing happy birthday to me? It was weird not having you or Cassie with me this morning, but we agreed we’re better off as friends.”

“I know, I know, but I just can’t help but miss it.”

“You guys ok?” There’s a knock on the door.

You move away from Urban and try to wipe your tears away.

“Yeah come in.” Urban replies.

“Hi sorry, everyone is here and the kids want to give us our presents.” Jack says.

You smile at that. “Go ahead, let me retouch my makeup real quick.”

Urban and Jack look at you worriedly but nod and walk out the room. You didn’t have to touch up your makeup, you just wanted a few seconds on your own before facing everyone.

You take in a deep breath, nod, stand up straighter and exit the bedroom heading towards the backyard where everyone was at.

In the center of the yard you see Urban and Jack surrounded by the kids and your closest friends and family.

“Damn Urb, you and Y/N making Cassie a sibling ? or why is her hair and makeup looking messy.” Druski says out loud, everyone going quiet, glaring at him. “What? Why’s everyone looking at me like ya want to kill me?”

“They’re not together.” Neelam whispers, but you heard her.

“Wait for real? I thought that was all fake?.”

He looks between Urban and you. “I thought it was to get back at me for saying I wanted drama between you.”

“ANYWAY.” Natalia decides to step in. “The kids made the birthday boys a little something.”

Cassie, Mia and Ezequiel run to the kids table to grab their stuff, and head back to where everyone is at.

“We made this for yous.” Cassie says.

“Mia and me dids it for our best uncle.” Ez says and hands Urban a picture frame made out of popsicle sticks.

“I did mine for my best tio Jack Jack.” Cassie also hands Jack a picture frame of her and him.

Both frames are made out of popsicle sticks that the kids colored, it has a picture of them and their uncle. You and Natalia helped them write happy birthday and their names on it.

“Oh wow, this is amazing, thank you.”

“Yeah this is pretty cool, thanks guys.”

“WAIT THERE’S MORE.” Mia yells, hands EZ and Cassie a paper.

“Ohhh I forgot” Cassie says laughing.

“We made these too.” Mia tells them. “Nino Urby, if it’s ugly blame cheesy, he wouldn’t let me decide on one color.” She rolls her eyes.

Everyone laughs at that.

“Be nice Mia.” Jack warns.

“Sorry.”

Cassie smiles and gets closer to Jack. “I made mine with blue because it’s my favorite color, and you the bestest uncle ever.”

“HEY.” Copelan yells.

“What about me?” Sunni asks.

Cassie shrugs “He got me a music triangle, beat that.”

“Urby you’re the best uncle ever. Not Jack Jack.” Ez says.

“NOOO, tío Jack is the best.”

Mia rolls her eyes. “All day, all day they be saying this.” She looks at both kids. “Ez, who’s the best daddy?”

Ez furrows his eyebrows. “Uhh, well daddy.” He points at Jack.

“Cassie, who’s the best daddy?”

Cassie smiles and goes to hug Urban, “My daddy.”

Mia then taps her chin, “Who’s the best uncle?”

“TIO URB.”

“NOOO TÍO JACK.”

Mia groans and smacks her head. “SEE THEY DON’T KNOW.”

Everyone laughs. “It’s okay bug.”

“I think it’s you who doesn’t understand Mia.”

Mia glares at him. “DRUSKI QUIET.”

“I’m just saying.” He put his hands up in defense.

“Can we sing happy birthday now? I want cake.” Clay asks.

You nod.

“Before we sing, Urban, were you eating that cake or was she eating yours?” Druski asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“YOO.”

“I just want to know.”

“I’m about to beat you up.” You tell him.

“I can help.” Mia says glaring at Druski.

“Fine, fine, let’s sing happy birthday.”

Neelam and Ace light up the custom made Pokémon cakes for Urban and Jack, and you all sing happy birthday to them both.

After a while you notice the kids are plotting something but you take no mind to it.

“Uncle Druski.” Cassie and Mia are holding hands, standing in front of him.

“What’s up? Y’all need money or something? I’m the wrong guy to ask.”

“No.” Mia says.

“Then what’s up?”

“THIS.” Ezequiel yells and comes out from behind him and smears cake all over his face.

Everyone is laughing.

“WHYYYY?” Dru yells, laughing as well.

Mia shrugs, while Cassie and Ez run off laughing.

“Mia, you’re the little devil in all these schemes, why did I get a cake to the face?”

Mia stands besides Urban, they smile at each other and do their little handshake. “Stop picking on my Nino and Nina.” She says, glaring at Druski.

Jack and Urban go to stand next to each other, looking around the yard and smiling.

“Happy birthday to us.” Jack says.

“Happy birthday indeed bro.”

• • •

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter

[buckets-thought-dump]

Is it OK if we can be friends?

Man, this is gonna be a long post. Hope you’re ready.

I’ve been thinking for a while about answering this question because I don’t even know if I should reply to it. Not because of actually addressing the actual question but because I have other things to say about it.

(This is the second time anons have asked me vague questions I can’t answer due to them being anonymous so from now on I’ll use them as jumping off points to talk about something tangentially relevant to it that I do want to discuss)

A lot of the time, when I follow or like posts by other artists that I really like, in the back of my mind I always sort of hope they check out my stuff and/or follow me back. Very rarely they do which is always a fun surprise, but most of the time they don’t. I only hope for this because I personally pretty much always check out the people that like my stuff or end up following me, although this is mostly because my follower count is already so low I can actually take the time to do that. So knowing that I often hope for something like that to happen, I can very easily imagine that would be the same for people that follow and like my work! Which is a really strange thing to think about if I’m being honest.

But more often the reality is that even if I spent some time going through your posts and trying to understand a reasonable estimate of your personality, it would not be a good measurement of judgement to know if we could be good friends or not.

To put it simply, and I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, I do not know who you are! And frankly it’s also very likely you do not know me well enough either to make a fair assessment on if you actually want to be friends with me or not.

Like I know the idea of being friends with an artist you really like sounds really appealing but in reality it would probably end up being really awkward because you very likely don’t have much to talk about because again, you don’t know them!! Hell I barely know any of the artists I follow but I just follow them because I really like their work and they inspire me to make my own stuff too.

You could maybe argue that if you don’t know each other well that creates an opportunity to actually get to know one another but the more likely scenario with parasocial relationships like these is that one person (thinks) they know the other person very well, because likely they do know a lot about them based on what they have posted, but the other person knows absolutely nothing and needs to play catch up to have a decent conversation. Not even mentioning that personalities don’t always come across 1:1 in anything they post. Long story short, this isn’t a good dynamic.

Really the only good way to really get to know someone is to simply talk to them, get to know them from the way they talk to you one on one and what they end up being comfortable with sharing to you as an individual, because more often the stuff someone is willing to share with you individually is often very different from what they’re willing to share publicly. And more importantly they need to have as much of an interest talking to you as you do talking to them. (Oh this is just basic relationship advice isn’t it)

But what I’m really saying with this long ass post is that making online friends is hard, and I think it’s interesting that when you really like someone and their posts, and you think you’d really love to be friends with that person, they very likely have absolutely no clue who the hell you even are. And maybe that’s for the better because you probably don’t know them as well as you think you do either.

So honestly the best thing you can do is at least start up a conversation somehow to let them know who you are and what you’re like. (I obviously don’t mean post a short bio in someone’s comment section, I mean let them know your thoughts about their artwork or their opinions about your post, also be nice)

I think most artists prefer seeing comments over likes anyway so yeah I’ll probably leave it at that

[payservewomen]

I’m tempted to say “I’ve hit a new low”😔 but in reality, I’ve been at rock bottom for…a very long time. Years I suppose.

But at least a few years ago, I interacted with women outside of work. But now? I don’t even leave my bedroom on my days off from work.

I sit on my bed, watching humiliation clips; calling ignore phone lines; taking embarrassing photos of myself; edging myself, oftentimes for many hours(almost never less than 4hrs. up to 12hrs)

The one newer development is- I’ll edge for a while, but then the sadness/anxiety makes me go limp….or i’ll be semi hard but my loser penis only grows slightly larger.

It’s like i’m trying to keep in as small as possible, because I know it should be teeny tiny. It CAN grow to 7in but considering how pathetic I am, part of me wishes I had a microdick. Then I could forget these thoughts i have of becoming a normal person again.

Then I could search 24/7 for a superior woman who wants to use and abuse me.

I fantasize about meeting a woman and dating….Getting comfortable with her to the point that I’m able to do the best I’m capable of in making her orgasm…. But then we open up and share kinks etc….and i know as time goes on, there will be many times my dick doesn’t work.

Slowly over time, she realizes just how much of a beta i am, and begins flirting with real, confident men.

By this time, we’re living together; Maybe one month she asks me to cover all the rent, then bills and spends her money on going out….Then a “friend” of hers(maybe with a unisex name that’s usually a woman’s name)is coming into town; she offers our place to stay….Tells me to make dinner etc saying “ali loves lobster tails and filet mignon! I know ur low on money, but it’s ok! I’ll still have enough left until ur next paycheck! Thanks sweetie! Maybe we’ll meet at the airport, then I’ll let you know when we’re on our way, flight gets in i think about 5pm but who knows if it’ll be on time”

I get off work, begin prepping everything….texting her asking if ali’s plane arrived at 5:30….”it did but we’re tryna find the luggage etc. With traffic it’ll take quite a while, plan for a late dinner!”

By 6:30, still nothing, so i text then call to find her phones off.

I figure she’ll probably be walking in any minute….So i check the “find my iphone” tryna be extra sweet and have everything timed perfectly. I see it moved from the airport towards home and begin making dinner….Until i realize another hour has passed. I check it again to see it’s been somewhere between home and the airport for 2 hours now!

Next thing i know, it’s 10, then 11, then 12 midnight!

I’m dozing off and finally see a text “Omg babe i’m sorry! I lost track of time! Ali said getting a hotel room would be easier, and we’ve just been catching up but ugh it got so late and you know how i don’t like to drive at night anyway, so I’m just gonna stay here tonight, see ya tomorrow!”

I just fall asleep, and wake in the AM to see several weird video texts from a number i don’t know….I hear giggling and a man’s voice….almost seeming like someone’s trying to record something and my gf saying “no stop don’t! that’s mean ali!” There’s at least 4-5 clips like that, the last one ending with my girlfriends sexy belly on the screen. I figure ohhh they’re just having fun i guess? But it did give me a bad feeling in my stomach….

Those vids were sent at about 1am. Then at 2am, just a close up of what i’m sure is my gf’s skin, but i can’t tell what part of her body…..but the audio on it was simply my gfs voice sounding like she’s whining or moaning or something? and saying “mmmmm ohhhhk fuck it”

Then 30mins later the clip begins blacked out, but with clear audio…just sounds like licking and slurping….Then a man’s voice “yeah worship it bitch. Now, say it” then the phone moves, showing an arrogant looking man smiling, then it slowly pans down over his entire perfectly fit muscular body….very slowly, stopping on each part of his stunningly perfect body….i mean this guy had an 8pack! Absolutely chiseled in every way. Then it stops to show his abs and v-lines, and then slowly shows his balls…I didn’t know balls could actually be that big!

Then slowly as possible, the camera moves to show the thickest cock i’ve ever seen!

Then the vids stop…but there’s a text at 4am with only an address….my gf knows i wake up for work at 4am…

i call and text her but her phones off ofc. I go to work, and finally around noon, my gf calls saying she’s going shopping with Ali, saying she didn’t bring any of her credit cards asking if i’ve got any money left…i tell her i’m not sure how much, but i’ve got $500 in a sportsbook app from winning the night before…”omg babe that’s perfect! Don’t worry i can move it from there, is it your normal password?” I answer yes, and ask her just to leave at least $100 or so….

And ask if theyre gonna be having dinner tonight…”yeah sweetie we are! I’ll let you know when we’re on the way”

I ask her wtf all those vids were. and who that guy was and she replies “huh? Wait what? You’re telling me you got videos from a random number?! And it had a perfect man’s body with a horse cock?! Lol babe i dunno what websites you’ve been visiting but i’d imagine it’s something to do with that!🤣 What?! u think i’m cheating on you with an old friend or something?! jk! Love u babe”

I hang up the phone and immediately get the same text with the same address, i look up the address to find a really really nice hotel is there. Then another text comes through simply saying “penthouse suite, beta cuck”

Then another text….just a screenshot of a receipt from stub hub for tickets to the nuggets game that night, 5:10pm. 2 tickets, $250 each, wow, better than i’ve ever had for sure.

Then one more text again with the hotels address, saying “ur welcome to stop by whenever, but i suggest you either wait for us to get there or something. not getting up to open the door if we busy fuckin. Can’t wait to see your bitch ass cry🤣”

This one hits me like a ton of bricks and it’s feeling more n more that it’s gotta be exactly what it seems….but no way she’d do this to me!

The great part of our relationship is complete and total honesty and openness! My gf, allison is kinky and loves to be a dirty slut, and we have talked about her fucking others, maybe even a gangbang!

But we’d only done a handful of super kinky things….we’re both submissive so it’s kinda hard to push it and try really crazy n kinky things….we both need that more aggressive attitude!

But i know she loves me deeply. We’ve such an intensely strong emotional connection, more than either of us ever have!

Still no word from my gf and it’s 8pm. At 9pm she finally texts me but it’s the exact same as from the other phone number and it’s just the hotel address and room number…..I call her back, and it rings and rings until going to voicemail. Maybe she didn’t hear it, i call again…it rings 3-4times, less than the last time, then goes to voicemail. I try again and it rings twice then voicemail….Again, same thing. I call yet AGAIN, prob the 6th time and it goes straight to voicemail!

I check the phone locator app and see her phone was at ball arena(nuggets play there)the length of the game….and moved to exactly where the hotel is.

I get dressed, now fearing the worst, but thinking “ok this makes no sense! Either she’s playing some joke on me; something weird like that or some surprise for me?”But i do realize that the most likely thing is…maybe she’s been partying with her friend, she cheated and isn’t sure how to deal with me…..But what’s up with the pics etc? ofc she’s aware of my pervy kinks etc, and she’s prob making it seem like she’s cheating on me, i’m hoping!

I walk to the light rail station, and get on the train….Ugh yeh don’t have the money to get an uber…i checked my bet365 account to see its at zero!

Wtf?! I had some futures bets….ones i could cash out for about $250 total, but they were all just cashed out! i’ve not one bet at all and no money here!

I see that $800 was withdrawn and my bank account was credited $800! But $500 used for the tickets, and $300 spent at some weird fancy store downtown.

Ok that’s it i’ve gotta see what’s up as i’m sitting on the train, mind running wild. Fuck, i gotta get off and walk 20mins, then get a bus!

I get off the train, walking to the bus stop…..Bus finally comes and oh fuck, as i’m tryna buy a bus ticket on the app(for $2.75) It dawns on me “fuck i don’t have enough money in my account” i look at the driver and say “i’m not sure why it’s not working” he looks at it and says “yeah cuz you’re card is being declined, sorry” and closes the doors.

I’m defeated and want to cry. Looking at google, i see it’ll take 2.5 hours to walk there….

It’s now almost 10pm and i consider going back home, but then wtf?! I can’t just sit at home wondering wtf is going on!

So i walk and walk…i watch the clip again and again of the perfect man’s body, fantasizing that the woman i’m in love with is cheating on me in the meanest way possible….Finally, it’s after midnight and I arrive at the hotel….I ask the front desk how to get to the penthouse, and she tells me “the elevator is right over there, but Sir, there isn’t anyone staying there right now”

I thank her and walk away tryna figure out what to do.

I text my gf asking why she texted me that address. she texts back right away with another address! I lose it and call a few times, each time it’s sent to voicemail. I text her back yelling “OK WTF is going on?! What’s your problem? Tell me what’s happening right fucking now!”

She texts back “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t mean to upset you! Just having fun with my friend, sorry guess i didn’t realize….I’ll be home tonight, but we’re out, omg babe i’m so drunk! I’ll see you at home, probably late!”

So i begin to walk back home…and remember the light rail isn’t running anymore….Now, I’ve got a 3.5 hour walk!

Finally i arrive home, it rained a little and i’m soaked, socks wet, and miserable and exhausted….

I open the door and hear slurping sounds and my gf giggling. My heart sinks and i already know what’s happening….I yell “wtf are you laughing about?! The fuck is wrong with you, ur being a fucking bitch!”

And i see the same man from the clips emerge from my bedroom, butt naked….he’s holding my favorite shirt, sweat dripping off his immaculate body and he wipes it off, then wipes his asshole with it, now it has skidmarks and throws it at me, saying “wtf did you say bitch?”

I ask who he is and what he’s doing at my place he replies “whatever tf i feel like doing faggot!” I say no it’s my place, and no i’m not gay” i emphasize gay, since i’m not a fan of bigotry and homophobia…”yeh didn’t say your gay, but you ARE a bitch ass faggot! Wtf you gonna do about it, huh? that’s wtf i thought, now, on your knees…obey or i’m gonna beat you up so badly….maybe you’ll get outta the hospital by the time i get out of jail, but it’s your choice” while making his pecs bounce in a very intimidating way. he walks up to me cracking his knuckles saying “ya know, i really DO hope you put up a fight; nobody ever wants to fight me” I look him up and down, knowing he’d kill me quickly….He’s gotta be a foot taller than me….im 5’9 and he’s gotta be at least 6’6!

I ask if i can take my shoes and wet socks off first and he laughs then slaps me in the face, open handed but hard, immediately followed by a left handed slap, i lose my balance and stumble to my knees, then i say “ok ok” on my knees looking up at him.

“Thank me for bullying you. Do it bitch” i thank him, he laughs, spits on me and gives me a wedgie….i make noise indicating it’s hurting, and he proceeds to give me an atomic wedgie…laughs then demands i take my clothes off but keep my wet socks on….

He laughs hysterically at my dick and shouts “baby, how tf were you actually fucking THIS?! omfg, ok come on slut”

And i see my love…she’s crawling on all fours..crawls up to this greek god and begins kissing his feet. She works her way up his legs, as she kisses and licks literally every inch of his perfect body.

Ali then says “ok now, don’t make me tell you again”

She looks me directly in my eyes “Bobby, keep looking in my eyes, ali says we must keep eye contact and he’s in charge here, ok? Please listen to what he says, i don’t want you to get hurt, i really don’t…not physically anyway. I say that because i i i DO want you to get emotionally hurt. I am sorry but when Ali told me he wanted to fuck me, i told him about you. Over months he kept teasing me for fucking such a loser; i love you but you are a loser. He’s been sending me pics of him, and the girls he fucks and omg babe, they cum so hard, and I fondly remembered being fucked by ali. I broke up with him cuz he cheated constantly and i thought that wasn’t ok, Now i realize how superior he is. It’s a small price to pay to be allowed to touch a superior man, im sure you understand. After i admitted how badly i wanted him he began insulting you and making fun of you. He made me take pics and record our sex, and that’s why i haven’t cum in so long, he said i wasn’t allowed with a loser like you. Ali is a sadist, he loves to make women worship him and loves nothing more than breaking beta men like you. That’s not an insult; you’re a beta, he’s an alpha, ya know?

He’s been planning for months to do this….it’s his masterpiece of destroying a loser!”

By this time i’m crying, tears streaming down my face…

“now bobby, we’re recording all of this and you’re now going to thank ali for making your fantasies come true. I know it hurts; the goal is to break you. Ali and i will marry, and you will work for us and live in a tiny room in the basement. U will be used and abused. I know it hurts but this is your new life now. Sure you can run away or something, but then ali will send all the vids and clips to your entire contact list.

But right now you’re going to beg ali to let you eat his sweaty asshole, do it you fucking piece of shit!” By this time ali is rubbing her pussy with his foot and it’s making her horny af….mmm fuck, i fucking hate you loser!” And she spits on me, confusing and hurting me.

I begin to beg to eat his asshole….

And wow, I began this planning on just whining about being so sad and pathetic but then wrote all this…wow i’ve got issues

[she-karev]

I Need This Change (Jolex Season 17 Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Alex Karev x Jo Karev/Jo Wilson

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 5

AN: So I’ve been rewatching season 17 and I have noticed so many Jo moments that would have been so much better with her true love, Alex Karev. This is one of them rewritten to include Alex being the supportive husband he is always meant to be instead of the butchered ending that left me screaming in rage. Like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Summary: Alex and Jo talk about their day where Jo tells him she delivered a baby and is considering switching from general surgery to OBGYN. Alex is shocked at first and tries to talk her out of it causing her to tell him she feels like she’s on the verge of another breakdown unless something changes. Although he was skeptical at first, he later tells her that he will support her if she is serious about this change.

Words: 1723

April 19th, 2020

Alex Karev opens the door to his two-story house that he bought with Jo back in February. After deciding to finally start having a family, the Karev’s bought a picturesque house fit for a whole minivan family so they can impress CPS and be approved for adoption.

But the pandemic started after they scheduled the inspection and since then they have been just filling the void with each other and working. Alex is saddened at having this worldwide stall in his plans to have a full life with Jo but for now coming home and having dinner with her is a solace in this difficult time. His despair evaporates at the smell of pizza hitting him as he enters the house.

Alex exhales happily before power walking to the kitchen where he finds Jo sitting by the kitchen island drinking beer and eating pizza from the box laid on the granite counter.

“Oh, my God. That smells so good.” Alex takes his jacket off and opens a pantry to get a plate out, “You got meat lovers right?”

Jo stops drinking and furrows her eyebrows, “Wait you thought this one pizza was for both of us?” Alex looks taken back by that causing his wife to grin, “I’m joking, grab a plate and come join me, I have exciting news.”

“Herd immunity was discovered?” Alex asks, putting his pizza on his plate.

“I wish. I delivered a baby today.”

Alex eats a big piece before looking at Jo confused and asking with his mouth full, “You delivered a baby? We’ve been together almost all day when did a baby come in?”

“It happened very quick.” Jo explains to Alex who keeps eating, “I went to check on Luna, and this nurse said that there was an imminent delivery, and the next second, I was catching a baby. I was literally the first person in the universe to hold him. And then I handed him to his parents, and their faces were just…”

Alex can see the sparkle in Jo’s eyes that hasn’t been present since March. Even though this was unexpected he is glad Jo could have some semblance of happiness even if it wasn’t from surgery.

“No wonder Val's so depressed. It's the happiest thing I've ever seen. It was just so pure and simple and perfect. I was buzzing.” Jo frowns as the reality comes back once again, “But it was a total random fluke, and tomorrow, I'll be back to the same depressing crap.”

Alex holds Jo’s hand caressing her knuckles with his thumb sharing the feeling, “I know. All of my patients don’t come to the hospital because their parents are scared of exposing them. I agree with them it’s not safe but then I think what underlying condition is gonna get worse because they’re waiting so long for it to be safe to get a checkup? I swear it’s this year I wish I got into plastics like I wanted intern year. A tummy tuck or boob job can wait, and my patients would be soccer moms and tycoons instead of vulnerable and scared children growing up in a pandemic. So, I get what you’re saying about delivering babies, it’s a nice break from reality.” Jo nods, “You think that's why Carina DeLuca is always in such a good mood? She's just, you know, handing out babies, and it shoots her serotonin level through the roof.”

Alex chuckles sipping his beer, “Maybe or it could also be because she has orgasm projects.”

Jo sips her beer before looking at her husband imploringly, “What if I changed?”

Alex takes a bite of his pizza before asking, “Changed what?”

“Careers.” Jo explains with a grin as Alex stops eating and looks frozen in shock at this sudden proposal that could change their lives, “Programs.”

Alex chuckles thinking she’s joking before looking up and seeing the serious grin on her face that makes him stop and look at Jo stumped. For so long he has known her to be this driven girl who wants to shape the future of medicine so hearing her wanting to change specialties has him concerned somebody body swapped with the surgeon he fell in love with and married.

“Your serious?” Jo nods smiling at her shocked husband, “You want to switch from surgery to OB?”

“Is that insane?” Jo asks with a slightly hurt face at his reaction, “Khan did it, and what he did is so much harder than switching specialties. He started over with nothing. And I know, I know I've put years into surgery, but if it's not bringing me any joy, then wouldn't it be insane to not change?”

Alex sighs and thinks for a moment before answering, “Jo I understand how you’re feeling, believe me. You’re not the only doctor in this country who feels lost and useless in this pandemic. But you’re not useless, you are helping as much as you can and saving as many lives as you can. I mean you saved Val’s life today that is something you could only do as a surgeon.”

“And I still want to practice surgery I just…I just want to be happy and use the time I have left in my prime to recertify as an OB and actually bring life into this world not just stop death for a little while.”

“Do you understand what would happen if you actually went through with this?” Alex asks Jo who groans at his question, “Even with your experience you’d still have to do residency all over again. You’d be rounding with the newbies, covering call every other night, you know what happens, you lived it not that long ago.”

“And I can do that all again.” Jo proclaims with conviction, “Look Alex you wanted to declare plastics because you saw it as an easy way to surgery and big bucks. But for me, OB is something I need to do, or I am gonna be in the same place I was a year ago after I met my birth mom.”

Alex looks at his wife in concern, feeling triggered by past events. Jo sees this worry in his face and quickly tries to mend this, so he doesn’t get scared of her breaking down again. She holds his hands and looks at him truthfully in the eyes.

“I am not in the same place I was then; I promise you I’m not. I am working as hard as I can so that I don’t let this scary world break me down. I go to therapy three times a week on the screen, and I write in my journals and try to find the bright moments in my life even with my job.” Jo sighs and holds her husband’s attentive gaze, “But even before the pandemic I’ve tried to adjust my life best to my life changes. Because I have changed, I’m more attuned to my feelings, I’m learning to leave my ugly past behind and look toward a future where I am happy and content with the job I love and the people I love. I tried doing that with you when I decided to start a family with you. But those plans are on hold and now even my job is turning into a cesspool of darkness I need to get out of.”

Alex squeezes his wife’s hands in comfort and support, “I need to be the doctor to fit this change, and I finally found that when I delivered that baby and shared those parents joy in that room. For the first time since this virus, I found something that makes me happy in my job.”

Alex can see the conviction in Jo’s eyes that makes him see this is not a decision she is coming to lightly, “I want to be happy. Everyone's dying. Meredith's…”

Alex sighs at this reminder of his best friend in the covid ICU. Jo puts her hands on his shoulders squeezing them to center him and let him know he is not alone in this dark time.

“She made me the surgeon I am today…but I don’t want to be a surgeon anymore. I want to be happy and recertifying as an OBGYN will make me happy. And it would really make me happy if I had my husband’s support in this because he believed in me before I even believed in myself. Can you do that? Because I will do this with or without you, that is how much I need this.”

Alex puts his hand on his wife thigh looking at her with a slight twitch on his lips, “Your really serious about this, aren’t you?” Jo nods causing Alex to grin fully, “Wow, I gotta tell you I didn’t think you could outdo yourself. But willing to put up with residency hell again so you can recertify, it’s something even I wouldn’t do. It’s…It’s inspiring to start all over so you can be happy in this dark world.”

Jo grins at her husband and puts her hands around the back of his neck, “We’ll make it work I promise. I just need to know you’ll be right here with me while I make this change.”

“I promised you I would be there with you in good times and in bad. Twice Jo, twice.” Jo chuckles at the reminder of both of their impromptu weddings that happened because they forgot to mail in the marriage license, “And I promised to love and support you like you love and support me. Trust me when I say that will not change no matter how many times you change specialties, I promise.”

Jo smiles at Alex before sitting on his lap and kissing him gratefully and pulling back with a grin he shares, “I love you.”

“I love you.” Alex rubs her jean clad thigh, “Now the hard part is convincing Bailey to let you switch specialties in the middle of a pandemic.”

Jo groans at this reminder, “Is there any chance you can do it for me?”

Alex grins mischievously before standing up and carrying Jo over his shoulder that she reacts with a startled shriek. He begins to walk up the stairs to the bedroom with Jo laughing over his shoulder shouting ‘yes!’ at this moment that makes her happy.

[lamuradex]

Lucid and Dreaming

(That is not the best banner but I tried)

A Horror Short Story (Wordcount: 11,380)

This is the longest Horror short story I've ever written. Please enjoy.

Maya learned to lucid dream so she could get some control over her sleeping hours. She's able to visit memories, relive moments with her girlfriend Ashley, and use her dreams for her own benefit. But what happens when you can't tell dreams from reality? WAKE UP, MAYA! Ashley is waiting for you. And she's in your dreams too.

A decent length short story about a woman, Maya, trapped in her dreams. Reliving, or possibly flashing forwards, with dreams about her girlfriend, or possibly her wife, Ashley, Maya starts to find she can't even trust her own mind while she's asleep, and she doesn't know where the dreams end.

Content: Light Gore, Dreams, Implied Nudity, Slight Body Horror, Unreality

My Writing tag: #Lamura Dex Writes!

Please enjoy this and my other works. Novels and major WIPS are linked in the pinned post on the blog. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Anyway, onto the story!

Lucid and Dreaming

So, you want to learn how to lucid dream?

My name is Maya, I’m 25, and I learned to lucid dream because there are only so many hours in the day to process everything. I’m a busy woman, a photographer, and to be able to spend my sleeping hours as well as my waking ones thinking just seems the best of both worlds. And it isn’t as hard as you’d imagine.

I wake up in my bed. I then have to check if I’m dreaming.

The trick to it is to have a tell. Dream checks and the like, something to let you know you’re asleep. Some people consciously check if they’re dreaming several times a day, so they’ll notice when they actually are. Others train their brain to create a subconscious tell, like a flag or a bouncing red ball. If that’s there, then they’re dreaming. It was a lot of effort to go to, and I’m not gonna say it’s consistent, but it’s certainly better than the nightmares I used to have. Now I’ve got some control. Now I can dream whatever I want.

So I wake up in my bed and check if I’m dreaming. I raise my hands and count my fingers. That’s normal. I check if I’m breathing. Seem to be. I find something to read. There’s a book on my bedside table that I haven’t read yet. It’s title is… The Ballad of Princcccwew Strorrr

That’s not right. Not right at all. And so, I must be dreaming. Here we go.

I jump out of bed and run downstairs. My Mum is in the kitchen cooking breakfast and my dog is sat at the table. This is strange for a number of reasons, such as me not having a dog and me moving out from home years ago. I’m definitely dreaming.

I ignore them and head outside. Suddenly, it’s my childhood street, not the one I really live on. No matter. It’ll take me where I want to go.

I try to focus. If you really focus, you can sometimes control it. Change the dream. And I want to relive something.

I concentrate and keep walking. The street becomes a park. The park shouldn’t be anywhere near this street, but it doesn’t matter. There she is. My best friend, Ashley. Well, more than a best friend now. We made it official last week, when she kissed me on that very bench. We’d been dancing around it for weeks and finally…

I want to relive that kiss. I want to live in that moment again. Her look of shyness, her hurried explanation. Her light brown skin, deep brown eyes, and that silky chocolate hair, all so perfect in the afternoon light. That smile, those lips, the ones she insists on painting red. Like an invitation. And those words seared into my brain.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time, but I can’t keep pretending. Things are different now. You know, after that party a few weeks ago… when we almost…”

“What are you saying, Ash?”

“I’m saying… I really did want to, that night, and it wasn’t just the beer talking. I wanted to kiss you. I… like you, Maya. Like, a lot. I really like you.”

I remember blushing. The heat replays in my cheeks in the dream. “Really?”

“Yes!” she exclaims, punching me in the arm. “Oh my god, as if it weren’t obvious. I’ve been staring at you ever since.”

“I noticed.”

“And you’ve been freaking flirting with me. Just… I didn’t want to ruin what we have. You’re my best friend, May.”

“And you’re mine too. But that doesn’t mean our friendship is ending. It’s just… gotten deeper. More interesting. More… intimate.”

I sit back, arms behind my head, casual as I can be. Girlfriends are nothing new to me… unfortunately. A string of bad luck there. But Ashley has only been out of the closet a couple of years. And I loved her even before that. Have to play it a little cool, not freak her out.

“More intimate?” she asks.

“Yeah. It means… we get to do stuff. And be together. And kiss.”

Ashley’s eyes widen. I almost laugh. I would have too had I not been just as terrified.

“I’d… I’d like that,” she says finally.

“Like we were going to at the party?”

“Kiss me. Right now.”

I remember it well. It plays out in the dream. I didn’t even have time to ask a question. Her hand just grabs my chin, spins my head, and her ruby painted lips plant against my beige ones. Softness, gentleness, a thrill like lightning down my spine. And I relive it all in the dream.

And then she pulls away. Her phone buzzes. I still curse that phone sometimes. She leaves.

I am alone, but I don’t feel alone. Not anymore.

I want to relive it again. Live in the dream. Live in that moment forever.

But, like a fine wine, I want to savour it. Like a song I really enjoy, I want to hold off on listening to it. I don’t want to dull my enjoyment by replaying it too much. I don’t want to wear down the grooves on the record. I’ll leave it stuck in my head for a while.

I get up and walk home. My street is my street again. My dog and my Mum are gone. I wander back upstairs.

The other problem with lucid dreaming is waking up. If you’re in a dream world, how do you end it, if it doesn’t feel like you’re dreaming? Some people just beg to wake up. Some can compel themselves to do so. Me, I’ve trained myself to have an out. An escape. An exit.

Behind a picture in my room, a picture of Ashley hung on the wall, is a sticker she stuck there. Just a red circle, to cover up a crack, but every time I see it I think it’s a button for half a second. And in my dreams that’s what it is. A button, round and red, with “Exit” written on it. It’s not subtle, but it’s also my final dream check, in case all others fail.

I press it and I wake up. Easy as that.

-

I wake up in my bed. I’m in my room. I kiss my fingers and plant the kiss on the photo of Ashley, barely having to look. Then I get up and head downstairs. My house, my stairs, my kitchen. No Mum, no dog, and my house is on my proper street. All is well.

“Morning,” says my husband. He’s cooking breakfast and…

That’s not right… Is it?

I look at him. Jeff. He’s polite, he’s charming, I know there was a wedding, I remember it. He’s cooking breakfast, bacon and eggs, and whistling a jaunty tune. And I love him, don’t I? But in my dream…

Was Ashley just a dream?

My brain curls around that idea. He comes over and kisses me on the cheek, putting down my breakfast. But Ashley seemed so…

“Everything alright, honey?” he asks.

“Everything’s fine,” I answer distantly.

Dream checks. I need dream checks. I check my hands, nothing wrong there. There’s a ring on my finger, which is interesting. I think back to when I woke up. Is my bed actually big enough for two? I don’t know. What about me breathing? Have I been-

I haven’t been breathing. Not since I woke up. I certainly haven’t been smelling the breakfast, lovingly cooked by Jeff. I should have smelled it by now. And suddenly, I recognise him. Jeff. He’s wearing the face of some celebrity. A reused head for the dream. He’s the man who does the toothpaste ads. I recognise the pearly white smile.

Further confirmation, as if I need it, I look at Jeff’s newspaper. It’s the Daily Cryer Crysler Crisper… Nonsense. I’m still dreaming.

I abandon the breakfast and hurry back upstairs. There’s a picture of Jeff beside my bed. It was definitely Ashley before. I’m definitely still dreaming… but just to be sure, I slip the picture aside and there it is. The Exit Button. I hit it without delay.

-

I wake up in my bed. That was… strange. I rub my eyes tiredly. Not to worry though, you hear about this stuff happening. Hell, it happens to people who don’t lucid dream. You dream that you’ve woken up but you’re really still dreaming.

I kiss my fingers and plant it on Ashley’s photo, right beside my bed, reaching over The Ballad of Prince Antoine, the book I’ve been meaning to read. And I can read the title now, which is good. I get up and… I double check the photo on my wall is still Ashley before I go. It is. I head downstairs.

My house is quiet, as it should be. No Mum, no dog, no Jeff. I rub my eyes again. Tired. You shouldn’t be tired if you spent all night sleeping. You shouldn’t be tired if you spent all night dreaming. It’s bullshit.

Luckily, it’s my day off. Freelance photographer, no jobs lined up for today, a modelling photoshoot tomorrow. And I’m looking forward to it, despite the snootiness. The models are usually fun, it’s the managers who are jerks. But, with nothing to do, I decide to veg out on the couch, phone at my side, texting Ash. Oh, wait… she’s at work. Office job where you aren’t allowed your phone at your desk. Never understood that.

TV is drivel. Daytime talk shows, family dramas in front of an audience, old reruns of older programs that can’t get a good timeslot. It all just blurs together. I’m pretty sure I’m sat there for hours. I check my phone and no texts. Of course there aren’t. It’s barely 11:00am. I get up, make some breakfast, and eat it without really noticing. Toast and… whatever else was in the fridge. Cheese, I think?

I’m back on the couch as if I never left. TV drivel. It’s actually so dull it’s giving me a headache, like it’s draining my brain of any good sense. The clock strikes twelve.

Dream checks. Hands, breathing… there isn’t any writing nearby. No trouble though.

I can barely stand to watch any more and my phone is annoyingly silent. I watched five episodes of something and it’s still only twelve! I can’t take it!

But there is that book I’ve been meaning to read. I’ve put it off, it never seemed too interesting, but why not? It’s been sat on my bedside table for ages and I’ve barely cracked the cover.

I turn off the TV and retrieve the book, looking at the photo of Ash again as I pass. I’ve had that photo for years, from some party. I wonder if she knows I keep it on the wall beside my bed… Of course she does. She stuck a sticker back there. Duh.

Anyway, The Ballad of Prince… whatever his name was. I settle back on the couch, crack the spine, and turn to the first page.

“Once upon a time, there was a veby dandsome blaaand. Blis name waf-”

That’s not right.

I read it again. Something is definitely wrong here. Am I having a stroke? A migraine? God, I hope it isn’t a migraine! Ash gets them and they seem like hell-

Dreaming!

I launch the book across the room, smashing a mirror. I pause. There isn’t a mirror there. But there is now, hanging over the mantle. But there shouldn’t be a mantle there! I look in the fragmented remains of the glass, a face staring back at me. I don’t think its my face. It’s ginger for one thing. Bright ginger. Comically ginger. My hair’s more of a hazelnut. I think I wore that ginger wig for Halloween once though.

The face winks at me.

I scramble back and pull out my phone. Dream checks, dream checks, dream checks! There’s a text from Ash, but after her name it’s just… letters. Just letters in a blue box.

I run upstairs, two at a time, maybe three. Perhaps I’m even flying. I arrive in my room and land on the bed. I look at the photo, still of her, and pull it aside. I find the button.

Not a sticker. A button.

I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed and rub my eyes tiredly. What the hell! I yawn and stretch, knowing I should not be this tired if I slept all-

“Hey, watch it!” Ashley yelps, my hand bumping her cheek. “And good morning to you too.”

I startle, very nearly springing from the bed. I’ve got one foot on the floor before my brain catches up and stops me. Ashley is my wife. I know that. We’ve been married for a year. There’s a ring on my finger. I was just dreaming of our early days. Nostalgia. That’s it. Our first kiss and that past sweet romance. Not that marriage isn’t nice too.

“Are you okay?” she smiles.

“Um… I’m fine, I think.”

“You sure?”

“I…”

Didn’t I just wake up? Just before all this? But of course the dream is already fading, which is always SO frustrating! And Ash looks distractingly beautiful, my wonderful wife, rousing certain *ahem* marital thoughts. And she doesn’t even have her makeup on yet. She’s always had a thing about being seen without it. She’d hate to admit she’s gorgeous either way, lipstick or not. Or without her clothes… And she is naked. Yep. Very naked. Both of us are, actually. And why not? We are a married couple.

“Um…”

“Seriously, you look a million miles away, May.”

“Just… a weird dream,” I answer finally, getting back under the covers and snuggling up to her. All is right here.

“Don’t get too comfy, you’ve got a job to get to.” She flicks my ear.

I groan. I miss my freelance photography job, but a mortgage doesn’t pay itself. I had to join a professional studio, but unfortunately my coworkers suck. The ones who aren’t novices are entitled pricks who think themselves god’s gift to artistry. And all the equipment’s so expensive, and…

“Didn’t you hear me? Your paycheque isn’t under those covers.”

“Something else is though,” I smirk.

She flicks my ear again. “Up! I’ve got to go out too. Margaret says she needs help selling the Haliday property.”

My wife, the realtor. Different office, different job, same frustrations. Annoying coworkers for one. Still, she does look good in that red jacket.

I reluctantly get up. Before I know it, I’m dressed. So is she, and I didn’t even get an eyeful. But work needs doing and dollars need earning. Off we go.

The day goes as you’d expect. At the studio, Frank forgets how to focus the lens again, we’re hired to photograph a family and they insist on including the dog, which makes a mess on the floor. We make Frank clean it. Lunch is a moment of peace. I almost have time for a dream check, before Andrew sees me and laughs, asking what I’m doing. None of your business, Andrew! Back to work. Ted and Andrew are arguing about backdrops for the new client. Andrew wants a brick wall, Ted a field of flowers. I set up a white sheet and the client doesn’t even notice. Andrew says it’s tacky, but fuck Andrew. Five o’clock cannot come soon enough.

It finally creeps along and I dart out the moment the clock turns. Train back, three stops, back down the road. Same house I’ve lived in for years.

I look up and there’s Ash, across the way, just stepping out of the house with a For Sale sign. Someone’s taking down the sign. Good work, Ash. She sees me and waves, hurrying to greet me. A smile, the light in her eyes, a gap between two parked cars-

Headlights! Crack! Thud! The screeching of tires, far too late to be of any use.

It came out of nowhere. The car came out of fucking nowhere! But Ash-

I find her lying in the road. She’s moving, just barely, her neck at a terrible angle. And she can’t speak. She looks up into my eyes, through my eyes, off into the beyond. Just a few guttering breaths escape her lips. A pool of blood is spreading from her. From her arm, her legs, her head. Bones jutting through clothes. I hold her. Hot blood, her head’s at the wrong angle, and then-

Stillness. She stops moving. She stops breathing.

She’s gone.

No….

The ambulance is there before I can realise. I hold her and stroke her motionless cheek. The driver stops and begs that it wasn’t his fault. I kiss her forehead and the sparkle in her eyes has gone. The ambulance men drag her from my arms. Her body hangs limp, eyes empty and staring. I step back. She’s gone… she’s just… gone.

No… NO!

A flood of pain surges up from my stomach, through my heart and into my head. My mind collapses under the strain. It can’t be real! Everything hurts, thinking hurts! She can’t be gone! She can’t be! NO! Her face stands in my mind’s eye, her sparkling eyes, her shattered neck. I look down at myself, at my reddened clothes, at the reddened ground, at the blood that-

There’s no blood.

I look at the road, the doctors, the sheet they’ve thrown over the corpse. It should be crimson, but it’s pure and white. My heart is in my throat, I feel like I should be vomiting, that I should be screaming but-

There’s no blood. This can’t be happening.

This really can’t be happening. This isn’t real.

I run from the scene. Sprint faster than I ever have before. I run inside my house, our house, our home. Everything is deathly silent. I run upstairs and it feels like forever, like time is running backwards. But there’s the photo on the wall. Her photo, her wonderful face, her beautiful eyes. I hesitate before I move it, too hurt to hope. I can’t dare to think I’m wrong. She can’t be gone!

But there’s the button. Not a sticker. A button.

I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed, bolting upright and sweating. It can’t be real, it can’t be! It can’t-

I slowly look round. A form is lying in the bed beside me. Ashley is lying there beside me.

I start to breathe again. My heart slows down. I lay back, staring at her as she sleeps.

It couldn’t be real. Not her. Never her.

And it wasn’t. She’s here. I’m here. And I’m awake.

The alarm goes off on the bedside table and Ashley begins to stir. She opens her eyes and sees me staring.

“Morning?” she questions.

“You just… looked really pretty,” I lie. Well, it is true, but…

“Thanks,” Ash narrows her gaze. She’s always had a thing about being seen without her makeup. Still, she smiles. “Now, time to get up.”

A flash of cold dread flares, but I breathe. It wasn’t real. She sees me.

“You okay?”

“Bad dream. It was… awful,” I say, trying not to recall the images.

“Oh, sweetie.” She comes up from the sheets and kisses my cheek. Naked again. We do usually wear pyjamas, don’t we? “It’s alright. It was just a dream.”

“I know.”

With a creeping, inevitable momentum, we both rise, drift apart, and prepare for work. I miss my old freelance photography job, but I had to join this studio… I suddenly get déjà vu. When did I last say that?

Doesn’t matter. Off to work. The next few hours pass in a frenzy of incompetence and ego. I keep my head down and work. Andrew nearly flips his lid when I miss something he says, but I’m distracted. That broken neck…

My head is swimming. Things feel wrong. But is that just the dream. Dreams? How many times have I woken up? How many times have I actually gone to bed first?

The day crawls by and coffee soothes many worries, or at least buries them under a certain nervous tension. I skip out a few minutes early, not that it matters, I still have to catch the same train.

I get down our street, the same one I’ve lived on for years, and look over the road. The door opens, Ash comes out, red jacket and all, and sees me. She smiles and hurries over.

“Look both ways!” I cry, a little too urgently.

She stops, nods like a sullen teenager, and makes a big show of looking. There aren’t any cars, parked or otherwise. Just the empty road in a quiet suburban neighbourhood.

“You’ll be asking me to eat my greens next,” she comments as she trots over.

“Just… I don’t know. I was worried my dream was prophetic.”

“Prophetic?” She furrows her brow concernedly, but it fades. She can see it’s worrying me. She always can, even if I don’t show it. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah…” I say quietly. She starts guiding us to the park. It’s a little ways away, but it’s a good place. Our special place. It was where we first kissed, after all.

We find the bench and sit, old and grimy as it is now. She holds my hand and smiles. I smile back. It was just a dream. Everything is fine. She is fine. All is right with the world.

“I just… I dreamed I lost you,” I explain, knowing how silly I sound.

“Lost as in-”

“You got hit by a car.”

“Oh, brutal! Your imagination is cruel.”

“Yeah,” I helplessly agree. “But you’re here now. And I’m here. And we’re both fine.”

“Right. We’re both here. I’m safe. You’re safe. I’m healthy, and you’re…. Naked!”

I blink in confusion. She looks alarmed and confused. I look down.

I’m naked. Pink bits and skin tones that shouldn’t be exposed. I can feel the cold where there shouldn’t be cold! Ashley is staring.

“What the hell, Maya!” she stands up, offended.

“I… I don’t… I was wearing…” I sputter. No answer is complete. Was I always naked?

“God, what the hell? Do you think this is funny?”

“What? No! I…” I can’t have left the house naked, can I? I can feel myself blushing all over. The park is busy today and people are noticing.

“Did you just forget to get dressed?”

Did I? It seems pretty absent minded. But could I have done? How else could this have happened. But we’re not far from the house…

“Put on some clothes, Maya!”

“What clothes?”

What clothes? The question swirls. An idea surfaces. Stress dream. Naked stress dreams.

Dream checks. Breathing, hands… oh, who am I kidding? My clothes just vanished! I’m dreaming!

I cover myself and make a break for the edge of the park. I’m sure it wasn’t this far to get here, and my steps are strange and sluggish, like running on ice. A man tries to stop me to talk about nothing in particular and politeness almost keeps me there, in strict contrast to my embarrassment. But I run. Ash is with me, half covering me, half judging me. I can feel eyes boring into my nudity.

I make it back to the house with only a few dozen angry eyes sentencing me, and run upstairs to change. Or to get dressed, because there’s nothing to change. And Ash is tutting angrily downstairs.

But I see her photo. I move it aside. There’s the button. Stupid stress dreams! Am I even married?

I press the button.

-

I wake up in my bed. I am still naked, but so is Ash. I’m naked in a normal and acceptable fashion… which is an odd thing to think, but some lingering embarrassment follows me up from the dream.

Dreams? Plural? How many times have I woken up?

I sit up in bed, quiet as I can. The Ballad of Prince Antoine is still on the bedside. I never did get round to reading it, and it would be caked in dust if it weren’t for Ash’s dependable cleaning routine. I pick it up and flip the pages.

It’s blank. No words at all. I’m definitely dreaming.

I consider reaching for the button, but I stop. Ash is beside me, the world of my subconscious outside. Even if this has been a strange session, I can still have some fun. Manners still guide me to not wake Ash, but I head downstairs. I start getting dressed first, but this is a dream. Why bother?

I go downstairs and my house looks more like a library. I think it’s one from a show I watched once. Maybe my memories are in here. I can’t even find the door. Part of me wants to experience walking naked outside, because why not, and suddenly I’m on the street. I can imagine the cold air on my skin, with none of the embarrassment this time around. No one even notices, even as my neighbours greet me. I throw caution to the wind and run full tilt, feeling like I’m flying, bouncing along the way. And why not fly? The ground swoops beneath me. It feels like a rollercoaster, like I'm staying still and the world is moving, like I’m a camera attached to a drone. I don’t fly anywhere in particular, as aiming seems impossible, but I swoop up the street, to the train station, and back again.

I land, forcing myself down, right back on my doorstep. I step inside. Somewhere along the way I’ve apparently picked up clothes. I guess my subconscious isn’t naturally nude. Oh well.

I head in and find Ash preparing a meal. Certainly a dream. I’m the cook in our relationship. Or is it our marriage? Doubts follow that idea, I don’t know if we’re married yet, but it doesn’t matter. She looks so pretty standing there, laying out the…

Is she serving towels on a plate? They’ve got pictures of ice cream on them, but that’s not food. But this is a dream. Nevertheless, I walk up and kiss her, full on the mouth. It’s my dream, damn it, and I’ll enjoy it how I want to.

“Hi there,” she says in surprise when I let her breathe. She has to push my lips away with a  finger to keep talking. “I made dinner.”

“It’ll keep,” I say. I kiss her again. And again. If she’s my wife, and it’s my dream, then why not have some fun.

“You’re certainly excitable-” She says during a gap. My lips cut her off. She gives up trying to talk. She kisses me back. That same thrill, even all these years later.

“I’ve been wanting this all day,” I say, letting her have a moment’s break. I stare into her eyes and see her just as excited as me. I press her against the kitchen counter.

“Don’t you think your husband will mind?” she says seductively. I genuinely don’t know if she’s just roleplaying or if she’s somehow remembering Jeff.

The thought briefly curls in my mind if this is weird. Some people get strangely bitter about dream cheating, their partners having sex dreams about other people. It’s not like they can help it, but some people are weird. Ash has always found the lucid dream thing strange though. But I’m sure she won’t mind this.

Whatever the case, I’m only cheating on her with another her. It’s not a problem.

“Well?” she presses, expecting an answer.

“Don’t worry, babe. It’s not cheating if it’s not real.” I kiss her again.

She pulls back. “What?”

“Just don’t worry about it,” I try to press forward. She pulls out of range.

“What do you mean ‘not real’?”

“It’s just… this is all a dream. Nothing here’s real.”

“And what? Am I not real?” she snaps.

“Well, no. You’re a dream too.”

Ash pushes me back. She looks offended, her face twisting with disgust and anger. I try to comfort her, but she steps away. The kitchen is bigger than it was before to give her room. She rounds on me, furious, teeth gritted and very nearly snarling.

“I am real!” she commands, poking me in the chest. “How dare you say I’m not!”

“But this is all a dream,” I try to explain. A certain dreadful momentum takes hold.

“But I am real! I am real! How could you… How could you think I wasn’t real!”

She advances on me, pushing me back. Shoving me. I bump against the table, almost tripping.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I AM REAL!” she screams, grabbing a plate and throwing it against the wall. Ceramic shards rain. She picks up and throws a chair. At me!

“I AM REAL!”

I retreat, the chair shattering on the wall behind me. We’re back in the library. She’s advancing, murder in her eyes.

“I AM REAL!” she keeps repeating, the same soundbite on a loop.

I run. I find the stairs, her horror movie pace keeping up behind me. She grabs my leg, scratching at me, clawing at my jeans. I slip free of her hands and scrabble upstairs, her cry echoing behind.

I slam the bedroom door shut and stare at the wood. Fists pound against it on the other side. The wood cracks.

“I AM REAL!”

No, you’re not. You’re not Ash. Ash would never…

I shake the thought off. I leap for the picture, throw it aside and press the button.

-

I wake up in my bed. I’m alone, I’m 25 again, I’m not married, and me and Ash are barely dating. But I’m shaking. How many times have I woken up?

I recall a book I read, as well as a Reddit thread, on the subject. Dream characters going strange when you tell them they’re not real. Never believed it myself, but there you go. Almost like they have a will of their own. A life of their own inside your head.

I perform my dream checks. Hands, ten fingers. Breathing, deeply. Ballad of Prince Antoine, still unread. I hesitate as I pick it up, but find the pages full of words, legible words, thankfully. I’m starting to worry the dream checks aren’t working. Perhaps my brain knows too well what to expect.

I shake it off and put the book down. I remember my place in the world. Day off, dating Ash, I live alone. Maybe one day married, but today… I get up and plan to head downstairs to veg on the couch.

My eyes stop on the photo. I try to discern what’s behind it from across the room. But I don’t move it. I don’t dare. I’m awake, I’m sure of it, so I head downstairs.

No morning TV, just some breakfast, cheese on toast. Just an ordinary day-

My phone rings. I answer it.

“Maya! Where are you?” I don’t recognise the voice.

“I’m home?”

“Home?! The shoot starts in ten minutes!”

I stared confusedly at the wall. My only shoot is tomorrow, on the 18th. I take my phone away from my ear as the caller rambles. He’s clearly-

-right. It’s the 18th. Crap!

“Crap! I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Hurry!”

I hang up and sprint upstairs to change. I was sure it was the 17th. Did I sleep for a whole day? I dreamt enough to have lost a day. I’m out the door in under five minutes, running for the bus stop.

It takes me 45 stressful minutes to arrive, but the client is late too. The models and the designers haven’t arrived, only the man who hired me. He’s tapping his foot irritably.

“Sorry,” I pant, having run the last ten yards. “Lost track of what day it was.”

“You’re late, and you were supposed to bring your camera. Where is it?” he snips.

In my photo studio at home, my mind’s eye shows me. I could scream.

“I’m so sorry, I left it at home. It… broke yesterday,” I try desperately to save face. “I was sure you’d have one as well.”

The client looks down his nose at me. He then wordlessly opens a cupboard and produces a camera, a cheap one, and hands it to me like he’s giving scraps to a peasant.

“And your paperwork?” he continues.

“I don’t remember you asking me for any paperwork.”

He sniffs. “The paperwork for the modelling agency. I cannot believe this,” he huffs.

I scour my brain. Paperwork, papers, anything I had to sign, anything-

“Oh!” my brain finds the file. “The nondisclosure stuff. I signed that last week.”

“Oh. Good,” he says with an edge of disappointment. Jerk.

I finally get to sit down and let my heartrate drop. I’m sweating, didn’t have time to shower, likely look a mess, and now my brain is thrumming with anxiety, searching every thought for something else I forgot. It’s like one of those accursed anxiety dreams where you’re late for class or…

No. I am awake. I know it. I do my dream checks just to be safe, and everything checks out. I try to check my phone, wanting to read the messages, before realising I forgot that too when I got changed. All I brought was my clothes and my purse and… My purse is at home too.

How did I pay for the bus? I can’t remember. I may have accidentally stolen a bus ride.

It’s going to be a long walk home.

The photoshoot goes alright. The camera isn’t great, but I’m getting paid either way. The client hates me, obviously, but I fulfil my contract. And so I hand over the camera and head into town.

And Ash’s office is nearby here. Her real estate- No. She doesn’t work in real estate. She works in… a call centre or something? I should know this. All I know is her bosses are annoying and strict.

I decide to hang out near her building, which does look like a call centre. As noon rolls around, she emerges with some coworkers and I beg her to give me a lift home. She kisses me, provoking some cooing from her coworkers, and quickly takes me home before hurrying back after her lunch break.

I lie, vegetating on the couch, trying to unpack the panic of the day. I’ve checked about five times that it actually is the 18th. I can’t remember yesterday. Then again, if I just vegged out, maybe there was nothing to remember.

Finally, my phone buzzes which means Ash is out of work. She’s waiting at the park, our special place, or at least it’s rapidly becoming so. Our bench is clean, with a couple of bits of graffiti. Perhaps I should add our names in a heart?

“You are messy,” she greets me.

“I don’t know what happened. I thought it was the 17th today.”

“Messy, is all I’m saying,” she affirms.

“Did I see you yesterday?”

She thinks to be sure. “No. I was at work all day, and then I was at my mother’s in the evening. You don’t remember?”

“I feel like I’ve lost a whole day.”

“I think you were online yesterday… Yeah, look. Instagram posts.” She holds up her phone.

There’s a selfie of me eating a bland lunch. I don’t look happy. I sort of remember that.

“Huh. Must have just bored myself senseless.”

“Then there’s a photo of you taking a nap. That might explain it, you and that daft lucid dreaming stuff..."

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with it.” I sound certain but I don’t feel certain. Not anymore.

“Just don’t do it when we start sharing a bed. Creeps me out.”

“Sharing a bed, hey?”

Ash rolls her eyes. “Soon, I mean it. I don’t want to rush things. And my room’s a mess with all that decorating.”

“My room’s closer.”

“Sure, but I’d like to be able to see the floor, not just a layer of abandoned clothes. Messy,” she repeats.

“I’ve tidied up.”

“No you have not!”

“I have. Seriously. There’s only a few socks currently.”

“My hero…” She trails off, looking over my shoulder.

“They’re only from the past few days too.”

“Yeah,” she says distractedly. “Is that guy watching us?”

I turn. Near a tree is a man in a trench coat. Rarely a good sign.

“It’s not your stalker ex, is it?” she murmurs.

“Don’t think so. I hope it’s not a flasher. How long’s he been there?”

“A few minutes. I think we should go.”

I silently agree and we start walking. And so does he.

We walk faster, deciding to take the longer road home. It’s longer, but it’s also far more public. But unfortunately quiet today. The man is still following. His hand is in his pocket. His eyes won’t leave us. Our walk becomes a light jog, and his following becomes a chase. We round a corner back onto our street and break into a run. He starts pursuing. His hand comes out of his pocket. He’s got a butcher’s knife.

“Ash, run!”

We run. We reach the door and slam it shut behind us, locking it. He hits the door on the other side, knife through the frosted glass. He stabs and carves the glass, mad eyes staring through the gaps.

I try to think of weapons. Ash is already on the phone to the police. The lunatic gets his arm through a gap in the glass, scratching up his own arm in the process.

And we’ve left the keys in the lock.

He turns them and throws the door wide. I drag Ash to the stairs. The bedroom door has a lock and a window we can jump out of as a last resort. I push Ash ahead, and the knife goes into the wall by my leg. I spin and land a heel on his chin. Part of his face comes away like a mask. I resume running as he reaffixes it.

In, slam the bedroom door, click the lock. It’s wood and won’t hold against a madman for long. Ash is crying, desperate and terrified, still on the phone to the cops. I’m searching my room for weapons. Anything! Why do I not have anything!

Wood creaks as the man slams against it. I decide to get creative. I pull out some drawers, empty them, and raise the wooden box as the only weapon I’ve got. Ash picks up a folding chair, a bit unwieldy in my small room.

The door creaks and cracks. Even now, the photo on the wall nags at me. Maybe it’s-

The door gives way! The man surges in, knife raised, and Ash throws her chair. It barely clips him, but that’s still a full force clip to the head. He falls, mask shifting. He rises, or possibly she, there’s a certain curve to the hips, dizzy and swaying, as the mask falls off completely. And the face…

“I AM REAL!” Ash’s face emerges from the mask, screaming, knife still in her hand.

My Ash looks at herself in strange terror, and I stare at both of them. The intruder Ash lunges, but my Ash fights her, wrestling herself, begging for help. I slam the drawer into the Nightmare Ash’s back and she crumples, but she rises back quickly, still screaming. I need to save my Ash. The real Ash.

But does it matter?

I stare at Ash, my Ash, the real Ash. She has to be the real Ash. But am I real? Am I awake? Ash stares at me with pleading eyes… But the photo… This can’t be real. I turn and I lunge for it.

I press the button.

-

I wake up in my bed.

This is bullshit! I get up and scream at the ceiling. That was real, I was sure that was real! What the fuck is going on!

No waiting this time. I throw the photo aside and there it is. The button. I’m still fucking dreaming!

I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed. Fucking hell!

I move the photo. I see the button.

I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed.

I move the photo. I see the FUCKING button.

I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed.

I move the photo. I-

The wall is blank. No sticker, no button, no nothing.

I… I don’t know what this means.

I press the wall, just in case, but nothing happens. I have to still be dreaming, right, because there should be a sticker there? Did I remove it?

I decide to get up and head downstairs. This time the dream isn’t even pretending. The dog and my Mum are back in the kitchen, Jeff is watching TV, and there are clocks and eyes everywhere telling me I’m late. There are also photos of Ash on every wall, the same photo, again and again. I move one just to check. There’s an eye behind it. I move another. There’s another photo behind it. I move a third. A red sticker. I briefly feel excited, before realising it's not a button. Just a sticker.

I decide to head out.

I step out onto my childhood street, which shouldn’t be here, but I can still see the property Real-Estate Ash sold across the road. There’s even a couple of ambulance men tending to nothing in particular. I start to worry that I’ve broken my brain or something.

I walk up and, of course, the park appears around the bend. And there’s Ash, an Ash anyway, I have no idea which one. But any Ash is good… as long as it’s not the nightmare one. Or the dead one. I shake off that memory and sit beside her.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time, but I can’t keep pretending. Things are different now. You know, after that party a few weeks ago… when we almost…”

“Oh… It’s this memory.”

“I’m saying… I really did want to, that night, and it wasn’t just the beer talking. I wanted to kiss you. I… like you, Maya. Like, a lot. I really like you.”

“I really like you two, Ash. I love you. But I’m supposed to set you up to say-”

“Yes!” she exclaims, punching me in the arm. “Oh my god, as if it weren’t obvious. I’ve been staring at you ever since.”

“You were so obvious about it too.”

“And you’ve been freaking flirting with me-

“I was not subtle either.”

“Just… I didn’t want to ruin what we have. You’re my best friend, May.”

“You too. God, does it make me a bad friend the amount of times I’ve dreamt about us sleeping together?”

“More intimate?”

“I keep dreaming about you. It’s no coincidence we keep ending up naked in my subconscious.”

Ashley’s eyes widen. I’m barely tracking her side of the conversation anymore.

“I’d… I’d like that.”

“You’re so beautiful, Ash. And brilliant. And-”

“Kiss me. Right now.”

Her hand grabs my chin, spins my head, and her ruby painted lips plant against my beige ones. Softness, gentleness, a thrill like lightning down my spine.

And then she pulls away. Her phone buzzes. I really do still curse that phone sometimes. She leaves.

And then she’s back beside me.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

This is odd. Definitely odd. I look around while Ash keeps talking, rambling as if nothing is wrong. I examine the park surrounding us to see if anything else is going on.

“Yes!” she exclaims, punching me in the arm. I briefly return my focus to her before going back to my search.

What the hell is going on?

“More intimate?”

I look over and spy something. It looks like a spot, hanging in the air. A red circle.

“I’d… I’d like that.”

Is that…?

“Kiss me. Right now.”

She grabs my chin, spins my head, and her ruby painted lips plant against my beige ones. I am briefly distracted from what seemed to be a floating button.

And then she pulls away. Her phone buzzes. She leaves.

And then she’s back beside me.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

I get up and walk over to the button. There it is, floating in midair, sticking out of a patch of my bedroom wall. There’s no wall around it, just a square floating at about head height. I look back at Ash, chatting away to the air on the bench.

“Yes!” she exclaims, punching nothing.

I press the button.

-

I wake up… I’m back on the bench.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

I look around. There’s the button again. I sprint and press it.

-

I wake… and I’m back on the bench. Shit!

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

I stand and run over to the button. Why isn’t this working?! It’s always worked before… before today anyway. It’s always been… my exit.

The button is blank. It should say Exit in neat little white letters. I can’t remember if it was blank in the other dreams. I don’t remember noticing, but I also wasn’t really paying attention. Maybe that’s what went wrong. The text is gone. It isn’t an exit anymore.

“Just… I didn’t want to ruin what we have. You’re my best friend, May.”

But that’s what I need now. I need an exit. I need to get out. I need… A pen. I think and think and… Ash always carries one.

I hurry over, even as Ash keeps talking.

“I’d… I’d like that.”

She reaches forwards and kisses the air, as I root through her pockets. And there it is. A pen. I run back to the button as she starts again.

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

I take off the pen cap and, carefully to avoid pressing it, write the word Exit on the button. It’s crude, but it’s dream logic. It just might work. With a final pen stroke, I press it.

-

I wake up in my bed. I roll over and immediately throw the photo aside and…

A red sticker.

I gasp with desperate relief. I flop back onto my bed. At last! I grab my phone and check the date, just to be sure. It’s the 17th, I’m not late for anything, and I am awake!

…at least I hope I’m awake.

I dismiss that thought. All the dream checks check out. I’m awake. I’m sure of it… but I was sure of it a few dreams ago too. I pinch myself, hard, and it hurts. At least I think it does. Would you actually know in a dream?

I shake off that thought. I might be going mad, I’m sure of that. All these dreams are driving me mad. I need to get away from sleeping. I get out of bed and go have breakfast. Cheese on toast. It’s all I’ve got in.

Around noon, I get a text.

Power outage at work. They sent us all home. Meet you in the park?

I’m up and properly dressed soon enough, heading out. It’s cold, so I’m wearing a scarf and a jacket. And Ash is waiting for me with two coffees and a big smile.

“You look great,” I say. It’s her usual outfit, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

“And you look… Actually, you look awful. What’s up?” She offers a coffee.

I drink it, hot and strong. And it’ll keep me awake, which is a plus.

“I think I had the worst night’s sleep ever,” I explain.

“How so?”

“I just kept waking up. Like, dreaming that I was waking up. Again and again and again. Levels upon levels of dreams and nightmares. And… you were there. All the time.”

“Me? In a good way?” She sips her coffee.

“Sometimes, yes. We were always together,” I reassure her. “In some of them we were even married.”

“Really?” she says cheerfully. “Didn’t know you were the commitment sort.”

“I’ve made that mistake before,” I chuckle. “But this dream was nuts. I just kept waking up again and again and… sometimes things happened to you. And sometimes I just realised I was dreaming and had to wake up. But I couldn’t. It was messed up.”

She leans against me, head on my shoulder. “I’ve warned you about that lucid dreaming stuff. Messes with your head. Lose your grip on reality.”

I smile. “One of your other selves said that too.”

“Well, listen to her. Sleep is just for your brain to process things. Leave it well enough alone.”

“Maybe. Maybe there’s a way to unlearn it.”

“You’d better hope so. You’re not doing your dream walking when we share a bed.”

“Your other self said that too.”

“Oh? And what did you say?”

“I pointed out the allusion to us sharing a bed… and then she said she wouldn’t stay around mine because of the dirty floors.”

“A woman after my own heart.”

“I have tidied up though!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“And when will you see it?”

She turns her head and quirks an eyebrow. “Are you asking?”

I go to answer. I want to say yes, oh do I want to say yes, but even so… “Maybe not tonight. Let me get my head together.”

She sits up. “That dream really messed you up?”

“Dreams. I lost track of how many.”

She looks worried. She wears her heart on her sleeves. “Maybe we can just go back to yours and watch some TV. Get your mind off it all.”

“Yeah, that sounds-” I pause. Ash is looking over my shoulder. Fixedly.

A terrible sense of déjà vu creeps over me.

“Is that guy watching us, May? It’s not your creepy ex, is it?”

I turn around. A man in a trench coat. I stand and drag Ash away from the bench. “We should go.”

The man follows. But not running. And it isn’t a man.

“What’s your problem?!” Ash stops to confront them. They’ve got a hood up but they’re definitely a woman. And that coat. I think I knew someone who owned a trench like that.

“What are you two doing?” the voyeur asks. Her voice is familiar.

“I’m sorry, do we need permission to sit on a bench?” Ash challenges. Her voice is the same.

“Perhaps, if you’re sitting with my wife.” The hood comes down.

Oh no.

Ash appears beneath the hood. Older, slightly, and hand adorned with a wedding ring. Girlfriend Ash doesn’t seem to notice. She’s just affronted by the accusation.

“Wife! She’s my girlfriend, lady. I don’t know what asylum you escaped from, but-”

“Maya?” another voice joins. “Who are these women?”

Both Ashes turn. Another Ash is running into the park. She’s wearing the same outfit from the day we first kissed.

“I…” I can’t even answer. The two other Ashes both huff.

“Stay away from my girlfriend!/wife!” they say in unison.

“Girlfriend?” First Kiss Ash turns her eyes on me. She looks hurt. “You have a girlfriend?”

“No!” I frantically explain. “It’s not like that.” That just angers the others.

“Oh, and what am I?” Wife Ash demands.

“Are you just picking up floozies?” Girlfriend Ash concurs.

First Kiss Ash comes up and pokes me in the chest. “Then who are they?”

My brain is spinning. My mouth flaps soundlessly. First Kiss Ash rounds on the other two.

The resultant argument is lost on me. Three voices, all identical, all seemingly unaware that they’re the same person. But I’m still dreaming. I have to be. There’s no way this is real!

“Maya?” another voice joins the conversation.

“Oh no…”

There’s another Ash with tears streaming down her face. “How… how did you get away from that lunatic?”

“I…”

“And who are they?” Without a word, she joins the growing argument.

“Maya?”

Another Ash and this one… This one is naked. Or as naked as my imagination can create. She’s like a Barbie doll, smooth areas, all the same shade of brown. She sees the crowd and sprints into it, creating a ripple of distress from the others.

Another few Ashes sprint into the park, Real Estate Ash, Nightmare Ash, all joining the gathering throng. I step away, my brain screaming, unable to cope. I can even see the Ash in the crowd who keeps looping!

And then someone throws a punch.

The argument clearly hits a critical mass, as Wife Ash punches First Kiss Ash and Girlfriend Ash gets someone in a headlock. Shouting, screaming, there’s even some biting. It turns into a mass of flailing limbs, bruises, fists, all merging into one. Merging and melting.

A hand hits a chest and sinks into it like melting plastic. An Ash in a headlock winds up merging with the arm locking her. One Ash goes to headbutt another and winds up combining their foreheads into a hideous mass. They keep fighting, seemingly unaware, morphing into a morass of flesh and clothes. Skin sluices between them, bones and ribs protruding where skin moves away. Strands of muscle combine and intertwine.

I watch in morbid terror as the thing takes some sort of shape.

An amalgam of legs, legs made out of smaller legs, keep it aloft. The torso is vaguely humanoid, but about ten times larger, with ribs and random clothes jutting through the skin. There are nine arms, two made up of smaller arms like the legs. And there are five heads, each twitching out of the lumpen shoulders, Wife Ash, Tearful Ash, and three others that just look identical. Two of them are speaking.

“I AM REAL!”

“I know we’ve known each other a long time-”

The central one twitches and looks down. It’s eyes are missing, lost somewhere in the mass of organic horror.

“Maya? Who are these women?” it says with a mouth full of tongues.

My heart is pounding. My skin’s cold as ice. I’m aware that I should be vomiting, I feel like I should be, if I were conscious. But I’m not. I’ve got no stomach to vomit with!

“Kiss me. Right now,” it says. It reaches for me.

I try to run but it’s too fast. A massive limb with far too many fingers grabs my wrist, pulling me in. Into its arm! Ash’s flesh melts around my wrist, my arm dissolving into it. I fall back, flailing, trying to wrench myself free. My other hand grabs something hard. I bring the rock round like a hammer and smash both our wrists.

Hers explodes like molten clay, splattering over the ground. I feel nothing, but it looks like I’ve shattered my bones. But it doesn’t matter. I get up and run. Vast, squelching footsteps follow, a cacophony of voices echoing after me.

“-it wasn’t just the beer talking.”

“I AM REAL!”

I run and reach the road. There are ambulance men. A new Ash hobbles over the sidewalk, neck and head dangling, blood and bones protruding. I ignore it and run.

I hit my front door and launch myself inside. I stop briefly on the stairs, morbid curiosity wondering what it will do. An arm of arms smashes in and then melts, flowing across the floor after me. I abandon my curiosity and slam my bedroom door. The mass hits the other side. There are faces at my window.

“WAKE UP, MAYA!” the heads scream.

I throw the photo aside. There’s the button.

The words “Wake Up!” are carved into the plastic in white lettering.

I hit the button.

-

I wake up in my bed. I sit up and scream.

I’m alone. I’m 25, I think. I throw the photo aside and see a sticker, but that’s no comfort anymore. I run to the window and look out and it’s the street I’m expecting to see. But doesn’t that just sum it up. It’s what I’m expecting to see.

Even as futile as they seem, I perform my dream checks. Prince Antoine, the right number of hands and fingers, definitely breathing, I’m panting for breath actually. I head downstairs.

Everything is normal. No Mum, no dog, no Jeff. No library of memories, no Ash making me a dinner of towels. Just… my house. I check my phone and it’s the 17th. I check my calendar and my only job is tomorrow. My finger hovers over the button to text Ash, but I don’t know if I can handle that right now.

The image of flesh flowing up the stairs behind me… Oh god! My stomach turns.

I run to the bathroom and throw my head into the toilet bowl. My stomach wrenches, not that it has much to throw up. I wind up dry heaving into the porcelain.

I couldn’t vomit in the last dream. Is that a good sign?

Finally, my stomach settles. Barely. I’m sat on the tiled floor, ready for anything to set me off again. Maybe I have a fever or something. That would explain the hellish dreams. I check my forehead, but I don’t think I’m running a temperature. Did I eat anything that would have upset my stomach last night?

Cheese on toast for dinner… and lunch. I really need to go shopping. Was it just a fucking cheese dream?

I get up and cautiously migrate to the couch, weighing up if I’m going to need a bowl or anything. My stomach is settling, but I still try to avoid thinking about… that.

The TV distracts me. I remember Ash advising it in the last dream, but I stop thinking about that, quite by force. I smack myself gently in the temple to distract myself. And it hurts, I think. Is that a good sign?

Noon comes around and there’s no text about a power outage. Another good sign? The day crawls by, me unable to do anything. My sickness stopped hours ago, but the thoughts are unrelenting. Prising apart the dreams, like peeling layers off a horrid Pass the Parcel. How many times did I wake up? How many times did I kiss her? How many times did she die?

What does it all mean?

Finally, five o’clock rolls around. I haven’t eaten all day, but I don’t want to. Ash texts me and asks if I want to meet at the park. I say I’m not feeling well.

A short while later, there’s a knock at the door. I get up to answer it.

“I brought soup?” Ash offers, bargaining to gain entry.

I smile. Despite everything, I smile. She’s amazing.

“What kind?” I ask as I let her in.

“Chicken, of course. That’s what you give sick people. What’s wrong anyway? You look dreadful.”

“Not sure,” I answer, fairly honestly. “Terrible night’s sleep. Just… nightmares.”

“Oh no!” She joins me on the couch. “Have you eaten today?”

I shake my head. She smiles sadly. I remember that smile melting off a dreadful face.

“Tell you what, I’ll heat this soup up, we can get some food in you, and we’ll spend the evening watching movies. Whichever ones you want. Even the scary ones,” she says with a hint of trepidation.

“I… couldn’t handle those tonight,” I reassure her. “I’m so tired, but I do not want to sleep.”

“Then let’s do something else. I’ll go and get your blanket and we can snuggle up on the couch. But first, soup.”

Ash hurries off to the kitchen to throw the soup into the microwave, and as it turns, heads upstairs to retrieve the blanket. I am soon huddled in the warm duvet, and Ash returns with two bowls and something tucked under her arm. She puts the item to one side while we eat, watching some bland noisome television, but the soup is good. Warm and restorative. It’s dark outside now and she is cuddled up beside me. And I am at home. Happy. Warm. Fed. In love. With her. And it’s almost been a whole day. I still don’t want to sleep, but maybe if she were beside me...

"Did you want to watch a movie?" Ash asks, her head on my shoulder.

I consider it, but no. “Not right now. But we should see what else is on. I’ve seen this episode a hundred times.”

“I was thinking,” she says in a leading way, “I did loan you that book ages ago. Have you read it yet?”

“The Ballad of Prince Antoine?” I say. My stomach tightens.

“Why don’t you read it to me? It’s almost poetry and that could be quite… romantic.”

She retrieves the book from where she tucked it away, dropping it in my lap. My heart skips.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know if its my sort of thing.”

She tugs at my arm. “How will you know if you don’t read it? And besides, it’s always good to broaden one’s horizons.

“Are you sure you couldn’t read it to me?” I dodge.

She narrows her eyes. She can always see my nerves. She leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

“It’ll be fine, Maya. Just read it. If you’re not enjoying it, we’ll stop.”

I stop and breathe. I feel nauseous again. And then I wonder what she’s thinking, me, scared of a book. I’m a professional photographer, I shouldn’t be scared to read aloud to my girlfriend.

“Alright,” I sigh. I crack the spine. I open the first page.

“The Ballad of Prince Antoine, by Simon Morpheus. Published by-”

“I think you can skip that bit.”

I nod. I turn the page. “Chapter One. Once upon a time, there was a very handsome man. His name was Prince Antoine.” I pause to look at her. “Do you really think I’ll enjoy this?”

“It gets better in a minute.” She snuggles closer.

I roll my eyes. “Prince Antoine was a kind and wonderful man, whose father ruled the kingdom kindly and fairly. But one day, a sorcerer arrived in the land, a man of wicked intent and dark magic- Are you serious about liking this book?” I interrupt.

“It was my favourite book as a kid,” she pouts. “Didn’t I tell you it was a kid’s book?”

“No, you didn’t. I was expecting a… classical romance or something.”

“Do you like classical romances?”

“No, it would have bored me to tears. But you seemed interested in it, so…”

“That’s sweet,” she snuggles in again. “Come on, keep reading. And poke me if I nod off.”

“Will do.” I clear my throat. “-wicked intent and dark magic. He walked up to the castle gates and demanded ‘Wake up the king. Wake up King Maya so I may speak with... King Maya?” I ask.

“It’s part of why I wanted you to read it,” she shrugs.

“Odd name for a king.” I clear my throat again. “‘Wake up King Maya so I may speak with him.’ ‘Nay,’ said the guards, and with a wave of his hand the wizard turned them into frogs. Ha! I’m liking this guy already.”

“My dad always used to boo when he read the evil wizard’s bits.”

“I can see why. Anyway- Next he approached the guards at the castle door. ‘Awaken King Maya’ he demanded. ‘Wake up Maya now!’ But the guards asked why? He would not answer, and turned them into newts. Huh. Guys working his way through the amphibians.”

“He does an axolotl next.”

“Seriously? Seems advanced for a kid’s book?”

“Read on and find out.”

I look doubtful but read on. “Ahem… He then approached the guards within. ‘Wake up, Maya! Wake them up now!’ but the guards brandished their arms and were turned into mice. Finally, Prince Antoine arrived, facing the villain. ‘What do you want?’ the prince demanded. ‘Wake up, Maya!’ the wizard roared.

I turn the page.

WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA WAKE UP MAYA-

I leap from the blankets. I scream. I throw the book into the mirror over the mantle as Ash looks on in terrified confusion.

I wake up in my bed, slow and sluggish, eyes blurry and sleepy. That’s until the adrenaline hits. I bolt upright, heart racing, very nearly sweating and-

“Maya? What’s wrong?” Ash bolts upright beside me, gripping the blanket to her bosom. She turns on the bedside light.

“I had… a terrible dream,” I gasp and… this is my room, but it seems different.

“What kind of dream?”

“It was…” I look around. Dream checks, I reach for Prince Antoine and… It’s not there.

“Are you alright?”

The room is different. I never had a bedside light, for one thing. And we’re in bed together.

“This might be a mad question,” I hazard, “but are we married?”

She stares at me. She stares longer. She realises I’m not joking and shakes her head.

“No, we’re not. You’re just my girlfriend.”

“So we are a couple?”

“Well, we moved in together three months ago, and we had sex last night, so I’d hope we were some kind of couple, Maya,” she says sarcastically. “You’re definitely my girlfriend, Maya, but no, we’re not married. Not yet anyway. Are you sure you’re alright?”

I stare. This one’s different. “Sorry. It’s just… in my dream we were married.”

“Really? Didn’t know you were the sort,” she says somewhat happily. “Well, we’re not married yet. Not unless you’re planning on getting down on one knee right this second.” She looks at me and her brow creases with worry. “Seriously, May, are you alright?” She cups my cheek.

“It was just… just a really messed up dream.”

“A messed up dream where we’re married?” she checks. “I hope you’re not getting cold feet about living together.”

“What?”

“Commitment issues. I wouldn’t be shocked. I mean, I know how your past relationships ended.”

“Hey! Those were not my fault. I did not force Tabitha into that strippers underwear! Or Sarah to break into my house!”

Ash raises her hands in surrender. She gets up and throws on a bathrobe. She looks back at me, as I’m staring at the wall.

“May? You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

I look up at her. Gorgeous, wonderful her. This one feels different. Maybe finally…

“It was just a dream,” I reassure her. She nods in vague acceptance.

“You know what it is? It’s that lucid dreaming stuff you do,” she concludes. “Making you lose touch with reality.”

I nod. I can’t say she’s wrong.

“Maybe you should consider seeing a doctor about it. A dream therapist or something. Get your head right.” She breathes and shakes her head. “Anyway, we’re up now, and it’s a few hours before work. I’m going to go make some coffee. You want some?”

“I’ll be down in a minute.”

I breathe at the edge of the bed. I count my fingers. I find a book and read it. I pinch my hand hard, and it hurts. It really hurts. But did it hurt last time?

I can hear Ash downstairs. This one feels different. Actually awake. I feel tired.

And this is a good life, right? Memory comes trickling back from sleep and tells me I’m right. Living with my girlfriend, my love. This is a great life.

And much better than what could come next.

But I am awake. I know it. This one feels different and my pinches hurt. And Ash is waiting downstairs.

But even so, I stare.

I stare at the photo, hanging on the wall. The photo of Ash.

And I try and spot what could be behind it.

[satanickpanick]

dialogue-based fic teaser :) this is my version of whatever went down inside the frozen locked room in DADDIES hq. finished fic coming soon! if you'd like to be tagged lmk

Willy fucking Stampler, Jesus fuck, paces and mutters for about three minutes before Lark starts really wanting to bash his head into the wall. Immobilized, he settles for yelling. “If you don’t shut the fuck up real fuckin’ quick I’ll fuckin’-”

Willy lunges, way too close and way losing his cool. “You’ll what? You’ll fuckin’ what, no, please, enlighten me, because last I checked, you can’t do jack shit!”

“I wonder why-”

“I should’ve killed you all when I-”

Sparrow, as per usual, pipes up just when things are getting fun, from where he has his back to Lark’s. “Back the fuck up-”

“-and maybe I wouldn’t be in this fuckin’ mess-”

“Guys!” TJ is just out of Lark’s sight, but he can picture the expression on his face pretty clearly- clearly enough that he shuts up. “Chill the fuck out, okay? We’re in this-” painfully- “together, right now, Jesus Christ, and the longer we’re stuck in here the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like…”

“Like Big Brother,” Grant offers.

“Whose big brother?”

“1984?” Willy rounds on Sparrow. “You haven’t read fuckin’ 1984?”

TJ blinks. “Yeah, like, with the ‘there are five fingers’ and shit, but that’s not-”

“No, no, the reality show, they lock a bunch of people in a house and by the end they all, like, hate each other.” Lark’s pretty sure Grant’s getting his strongest what the hell are you on look since the Habanero Incident of ‘31. Like, he’s on the edge of hysterics (which he is) about some fucking TV show. “It’s a thing! It’s been a thing for like forty years.”

“Oh my fucking God.”

“Marco likes it!”

“Oh? And how is Marco?”

“I dunno, Willy, how about you tell me? You’re the one who’s been out on the town stirring up a fuckin’ panic.”

“Stirring shit, more like.” Lark interjects.

“Endangering our kids,” TJ mentions.

“Seducing Nicky’s ex,” Sparrow adds. “While we clean up your mess.”

“Seducing? Jesus, I get it, you all hate me, what else is new. Can we go back to being productive? What the shit is crunchy and warm?”

“Deez-”

“TJ.” God, Grant sounds like his mom sometimes. And the patented Carol Wilson Cut-It-Out Stare… Lark wheeze-laughs despite himself. They’re all just- ridiculous.

“What?”

“That’s how Glenn fucking died, you wanna die?”

“I mean, kinda!” TJ makes a sound halfway between a laugh and the sound Lark imagines a dying baby moose would make.

“Same,” he replies reflexively, at the same time that Sparrow says, “Jeez, dude, do you need to talk to somebody- Lark, come on.”

“You come on.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Sparrow leans back, knocking his head against the back of Lark’s.

“Ow.”

“That didn’t hurt.”

“Yeah it did, ‘cause of your fat head.”

“Maybe if yours wasn’t so damn hard.”

“Okay-”

“Oh, for the love of God, I’m gonna die here.”

[ashandkatiewrite]

Four Weddings and a Funeral - Chapter 1

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

FIC SYNOPSIS: Maggie Hastings meets her dream man after a flight into New York City— Bucky Barnes, a pilot who seems to be everything she’s looking for. Except that she already has a boyfriend who never has time for her. After a near-tryst with her dream pilot, Maggie runs, only to find out he later meets her best friend and they’re now crazy about each other. Among their group of best friends, between Chicago and New York, and four weddings and a funeral, Maggie and Bucky struggle to keep their fiery chemistry a secret so they don’t hurt the ones they love.

WRITTEN BY: @if-you-onlyknew & @katiekinswrites

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC

Tags: Idiots in love, Mutual Pining, Forbidden Love, Angst, Fluff, and Smut, Explicit Language

Rating: M (Mature) & E (Explicit)

READ ON AO3

CHAPTER ONE

November 15th, 2019

Maggie sighed as she walked through the airport, “No, I can’t. I’m sorry.” She apologized — though it wasn’t necessary. “I can’t come in. No— no , I am not even in the state right now, Danny.” She tried to stay patient with her intern as he went off on her for not being in Chicago. 

Danny Jones was cocky and rarely listened to his surgical resident as it was, but for him to call Maggie up and yell at her for being gone was not something she was going to put up with. People pleaser or not; Maggie Hastings was not going to allow the little shit to speak to her that way. She was his superior.

“Well, I apologize that my vacation fell on such an inconvenient time for you, Danny. But I have been preparing for your intern’s exam for three months now since I knew my time off would fall on the same weekend as the exam. It is not my fault you chose to not attend my stupid, useless, and pointless ,” she quoted him, “study group sessions.” 

Maggie was still trying to remain professional, but she was starting to lose her patience with Danny by the time she got to the airport bar closest to her gate. 

It wasn’t until Danny called Maggie selfish that she finally dropped any shred of professional demeanor. 

“Oh, get fucked, Danny!” She shouted as she sat down at the bar. “It is not my job to hand hold you during the actual exam! I did everything I could to try and prepare you for this and you pushed back each time claiming to know better than I did. It’s time to get your silver spoon out of your fucking mouth and do the goddamn work because your mommy might have been able to secure your spot as a surgical intern, but if you don’t pass this exam, there is no amount of money she could pay to bribe your way through a residency program!” Maggie didn’t bother holding back. 

This wasn’t a case of tough love — more of a reality check and Maggie was sure she’d feel guilty about saying all of this later, but she had a shitty flight that had ended up being delayed to begin with and had sat in the O’Hara airport for over six hours waiting for a flight into JFK and now she had to sit and kill time for an hour until her boyfriend got back into the city from the Hamptons and could pick her up and take her back to his apartment.

“Now, I am going to say this once so you better fucking listen,” Maggie said in a threatening tone. “Do NOT call me again, Danny. I am on my fucking vacation !” She yelled before ending the call and let her upper half fall against the bar, resting her head on the smooth granite surface. “A Tequila Sour, please. And keep them coming,” Maggie said to the bartender, not even bothering to lift her head to look at the woman as she spoke. 

There was a quiet chuckling coming from the seat two over from Maggie. “Think that guy is gonna survive his neutering? He sounds like a prick.”

Maggie raised her brows in response to the man, her face instantly flushing in not only embarrassment for making a scene, but also because the man was incredibly handsome. She muttered the word fuck under her breath and looked away, mortified by her reaction to the good-looking man and her outburst.

The man who sat there was grinning as he shook his head and lifted a finger towards the bartender to indicate that he’d take another beer.

“You gonna be okay?” he asked as he tilted his head to look at her in amusement.

Maggie winced slightly at his question and was thankful that the bartender handed her the drink she ordered. She took a big swig of her drink, consuming half of it before she went on to answer him. 

“Ask me again in about ten minutes once this kicks in.” She tapped her now half drunk glass of tequila sour. 

He chuckled before looking away as the bartender set down a beer for him. 

She stared at him for a moment, taking in the way he was dressed and his lack of luggage. 

“You’re a pilot,” Maggie commented, not asking as a question, but stating it as a fact. It was an assumption, of course. Maggie didn’t know if this man was a pilot, but from the way he dressed, that’s the conclusion she had come to. “Can I ask you a question about turbulence?”  

He turned on the barstool and faced her, giving her his full attention. “Shoot.”

“Can turbulence break up a plane? Because I’m constantly flying out of O’Hare and I have yet to be on a flight without any turbulence.” She told him, “and I was wondering if it’s only a matter of time before I end up on a flight with such bad turbulence that the plane rips apart.”

“They don’t call it the Windy City for nothing,” he told her.

Her drink was hitting her harder and faster than she thought it would — but she also had yet to eat and took a Xanax before take off at O’Hare, which meant Maggie was a lot more chatty than she normally would be with a stranger. 

It also helped that he had a deep voice that sounded like what silk sheets on her naked body felt like and a face that mirrored a young Luke Skywalker. 

So, Maggie continued on rambling. “I mean, there’s got to be some sort of statistic out there that tells you how many turbulent flights one can have before it hurdles to the ground and you die.” 

Someone huffed loudly from behind Maggie and when she looked back, an older woman was glaring in her direction while grabbing her luggage. Maggie winced apologetically as the woman stormed off. 

Perhaps talking about plane crashes in an airport bar was not the smartest of choices. 

“Sorry,” Maggie said in a mumble under her breath as she moved back so her body was facing the man. 

He was smiling patiently at her, however, despite the rudeness of the woman that stomped past. 

“Well,” he drawled as he reached for his drink, “I guess that’s why some pilots prefer to live a life with no regrets.” His eyebrow danced a little. “It’s exhilarating, especially in a smaller plane where you can feel everything. But maybe I just like the thrill. But flying is not for everyone.” He took a drink from his glass.

Maggie didn’t dislike flying per se, she would just prefer it if her flights were a bit smoother. But like the man had said; Chicago hadn’t earned its infamous nickname — the Windy City — simply for shits and giggles. Though, the way he said it wasn’t quite as vulgar.

She sighed, realizing that she’d likely never have a smooth flight coming out of O’Hare. At least she would only be living in Chicago for one more year.

Clearly, she was not relieved at his statement, so he nudged her hand, his fingers brushing against hers which were wrapped around her drink. “If it makes you feel any better, the statistics do say you’re far less likely to die in a plane crash than a car crash.”

Maggie huffed out a laugh. “Thanks, I’ll be sure to remember that on the car ride home from here,” she said back in a sarcastic yet playful tone. 

He tried again. “Look, are you more afraid of dying of boredom on a twelve and a half hour drive with rush hour traffic — or say, being stuck for hours due to a semi-truck breaking down and blocking an entire interstate… or would you rather deal with a few minutes of turbulence flying out of O’Hare and get here in just two and a half hours?” 

“Well…when you put it like that .” Maggie grinned as her cheeks flushed once again in embarrassment. “And there is a bathroom on the plane — as terrifying as they are to use.” She added the last part in a rush. 

“What?” He asked with a laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled. 

“You can’t use the bathroom while driving…” Her cheeks flushed even more at the realization that she was talking about peeing in front of the very handsome pilot she had just met. “Not that I do that!” 

His brows shot up. 

Wait ? Did she just tell him she didn’t go to the bathroom? Jesus Christ. She was a rambling mess — especially when she drank. 

“I mean — I use the bathroom!” She attempted to correct herself only to make things so worse. “Everyone does! There’s even that book; Everybody Po …” her words trailed off and her eyes went wide. Maggie quickly looked away and focused on her drink.  “I’m going to shut up now.” She tried to hide her bright red face. 

He laughed and partially shifted on his seat so that his shoe was propped on the bottom rung of the seat between them. “It’s okay,” he told her. “I’ve read it. It’s a good read.” The grin on his face hadn’t dissipated in the least and he set his teeth in his bottom lip as he watched to see if she’d look his way again. “My nephew has that book,” he explained after her questioning look.

Maggie closed her eyes while shaking her head in embarrassment and gave the man a thumbs up in response, keeping her mouth shut to avoid saying anything else humiliating.

“Do you want another one?” He nodded at her empty glass. His was still mostly full. “My treat.” 

She looked back over to him with a shy smile. “If I accept, I would be running the risk of saying something stupid and embarrassing,” Maggie said with a chuckle. “But then again, I guess if I have enough of these, I might not care about the dumb shit that comes out of my mouth,” she added.

He laughed again, truly enjoying her candor. 

Maggie looked over at the man again, taking in his beautiful blue eyes that she knew she could easily get lost in. 

God, he was so fucking hot. It was ridiculous!

“Fuck it,” she shrugged before addressing the bartender. “I’ll have another Tequila Sour,” Maggie said before looking back to the man with a warm smile. 

“That’s the spirit,” he told her with a wink.

“You can put it on the Captain’s tab.” She smirked before finally introducing herself. “I’m Maggie, by the way.”

The bartender looked between the two of them with a raised eyebrow but when the man only lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug, she got to work on the Tequila Sour as requested.

“I’m Bucky,” he said and reached over the stool between them and shook her hand. 

Maggie looked down at their hands, feeling like her body had now begun to buzz with energy as he held her hand. 

When Maggie’s eyes moved back up to look at him, she smiled as she let go of his hand. “Hi, Bucky.” 

“Hi, Maggie,” he grinned.

Her cheeks flushed again, only this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment.

No, this was caused from something else entirely — it was from her being genuinely, and intensely attracted to the pilot . 

Billy. Maggie tried to remind herself. You have a boyfriend .

But there was no harm in flirting with Bucky though… right?