#it was a pleasure working with so many fantastic writers and artists

[wheatormeat]

Preview of my piece for the @fmatriozine !!

You can preorder it here

[raymantogether]

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #3 - Clairiphi

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #3 - Clairiphi

Introduction:

Have you ever made your own Rayman comic book series? Growing up, I spent thousands of hours outside of playing the Rayman series creating comics and drawings, making my own adventures for Rayman and his friends. However, I never could create something as captivating and truly unique as the Rayman Nightmarish Series. Rayman Nightmarish stole my heart and is something that I have followed since 2020. Every few weeks to months, I eagerly anticipate the next chapter. There is something so personal about the art style and original characters, which I fell in love with. Every strip is full of personality and charm. I had the pleasure of meeting Clairiphi, AKA Chiara, during my visit to Ubisoft Milan. In person, Chiara is just as amazing as her series. So when I decided to make this Community Spotlight Series, I just had to make a segment on Chiara and her Rayman Nightmarish series.

1. Please introduce yourself.

"My name is Chiara; I go by Clairiphi on the web, and I'm a storyteller from Sardinia (Italy) who dabbles into drawing to accompany her stories. I hope one day, not too far from now, to become a professional comic writer if the comic industry in Europe gives me the chance. For now, I sadly remain an enthusiastic hobbyist."

2. What are you currently working on in the Rayman Community? 

"I’ve been publishing my fan comic Rayman Nightmarish for a few years with the frequent help of my partner Francesco (@thepinna on Instagram and Cara), who is a professional illustrator and studied as a comic artist as well. Without his teaching, I would be nowhere near where I am with my skill level. He taught me how to storyboard, how to efficiently use a drawing tablet, and helped me train my writing skills. He also offers his direct artistic input from time to time, when work hours permit him (for example, while I did the storyboards and pencil sketches for chapter 11, he did inks and colors)."

3. What is your inspiration behind Rayman Nightmarish?

"One December evening I was particularly bored and haven’t been writing since the beginning of high school, but that evening I was coming from a long period of frustration regarding the school path I chose, and coincidentally, I was also back on my Rayman obsession because I was playing Legends and Origins. I had this fairy character (Waaty) and a horrific, almost lovecraftian villain (The Lighteater) in mind for a while, and all of a sudden I said, “You know what? Let’s stop daydreaming and write an actual story!” I took a huge empty notebook from my desk drawer, and a bunch of years later, here we are!"

4. For any newcomers, what is the story of Rayman Nightmarish about?

"With Rayman Nightmarish, I aimed to narrate a classic Rayman adventure, with the humor, the combats, the voyage across fantastical places... And zombies! Yeah, I love horror, and of course there was going to be a twist. But no worries! This is still a story for all ages, like Rayman always was after all.  An ancient evil called The Lighteater is rising from the depths of the sea and is going to bring a dark plague that will soon turn The Glade of Dreams into The Glade of Nightmares. Of course it is Rayman's job to save the day once again, with the help of Globox and a few unexpected friends, like Waaty, the livid dead fairy with strange clairvoyant abilities...and many others along the way! Will he be able to do it this time? Very likely knowing his records, but this could actually be more challenging than he thought."

5. Is there anything new or unreleased you can share?

"I’ve actually been working on a new original fantasy series for a while. The story is already all planned, I'm in love with the characters and every process I came across during the planning of the plot. I hope with all my heart that I'll be able to bring it to life, not as a webcomic but as a fool-blown series for comic stores’ shelves."

6. What made you fall in love with the Rayman series?

"When I was a little girl, I didn’t have much social skills, and my first ever playmate, before my brother was born, was my dear cousin, who one day came to me with a copy of Rayman 3; his parents got him somewhere during a trip. That game changed my brain chemistry because as soon as I saw the fairy council level, I was hypnotized, and I wasn’t even the one playing! The music, the scenery, the jokes—I don’t know, but every time we played it, I came home wishing I was still in that world. Then a few years later, my cousin got a PS3 and gave me and my brother his PS2, Rayman Raving Rabbids, and Rayman 3. I was so happy! My first ever “comic” was a very cringy Rayman fanfiction I wrote in middle school, kind of an ancestor of Rayman Nightmarish in a way, haha! I thank my cousin every day for showing me that game that evening, and if he were still here today, I bet he would think Rayman Nightmarish looks pretty sick (especially in comparison to his middle school predecessor)."

7. What is your favorite Rayman game?

"I think it’s pretty clear by now that it’s Rayman 3 since it comes with so many dear memories, but I really liked playing both Origins and Legends in co-op with my brother when they came out. They were really fun to play with others! While I’ve always considered Rayman 3 like an intimate journey to take alone in a fantasy world, as silly as it sounds. Haha!"

8. Who is your favorite Rayman character?

"I’m going to be very unoriginal and say it’s Rayman because it’s true."

9. Tell us about your time at Ubisoft Milan.

"It was better than Disneyland! I felt like a kid again being able to hang out with a team of professionals behind a whole videogame. Not only was I happy, I felt seen, like, “Woah! These guys know I exist and even asked me to come here, hello???” Pretty surreal experience!"

10. Other than playing Rayman, what are your favorite things to do?

"I’m going to be completely honest; I haven’t been playing a Rayman game since the dawn of time. Haha! Back when I was a little girl, I wasn't much of a gamer and only played Rayman games because I didn’t care for the others. Now I love my switch, and I found many more games I love to spend time with. Rayman still has a special place in my heart, because it’s thanks to it that I found out I was actually meant for writing stories. Two of my other favorite things to do (besides writing and drawing, which are obvious) are reading books and watching movies, and in both cases, my favorite genre is horror. I also like to play fantasy TTRPG games like D&D or Pathfinder from time to time; they are very stimulating for the imagination."

11. Tell us something interesting or funny about yourself that we might not already know. 

"I’ve actually graduated (both bachelor’s and master’s degree) from a music conservatory in classical piano and never taken a single class in any art school. Sometimes I feel stupid about my past choices, and sometimes I’m glad because learning to play an instrument on a professional level has helped me build discipline and time management skills that helped me greatly in the writing process."

12. Do you have any hidden talents?

"I don’t know much about "talent,” but I do love to sing in my car, and I can memorize the entire script of a movie if I like it a lot. Haha! I remember when I was in elementary school, I used to recite Madagascar to myself when it was past bedtime, but I didn’t want to sleep."

13. What is one thing you can’t live without?

"Besides my air conditioner, I think I would go insane if something happened to any of my writing devices. I keep all my notes scattered between my computer, my iPad, and many physical journals. While clouds are essential, sometimes I just need an actual piece of paper and a pencil to figure out a scene or a plot point."

Want to discover more about the Rayman Nightmarish series? This is my link tree where new readers can find the best social media platforms to either catch up with the story or stay tuned for any exciting news:

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Penny00Dreadful! @penny00dreadful has 29 fics in the Stranger Things fandom with 25 of them being in the Steddie Tag!

@hbyrde36 recommends the following works by @penny00dreadful:

Crossroads

Cat and Mouse

I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife

And They Were Roommates!

The Parting Glass

Sam, on top of being an absolutely amazing writer (AND artist!), is one of the brightest lights in this fandom (in my humble opinion). She is incredibly kind and encouraging, always ready to uplift other authors in the Steddie and ST fanfic worlds. I have had the incredible pleasure of being her beta reader for quite some time now, and am consistently blown away by her talent. There isn't a single one of her works that I wouldn't recommend, they are all fantastic reads. -- @hbyrde36

Below the cut, @penny00dreadful answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Opposites attract has always been a major draw for me, especially in my fandoms. Every pairing I’ve ever gotten into in every fandom I’ve been in have all been opposites attract and I’m not going to lie to you, I did not make that realization until this question. 😅 I had a very “Huh… that tracks” moment about it. 🤣 So the opposites attract factor is definitely big for me and while I suppose you could say that’s true for many, many pairings in fandom, there’s something about the complete opposite of both Steve and Eddie that is just enrapturing. From their aesthetic, to their personalities, to their upbringing, it creates such incredibly interesting parallels and options for building stories around them. On top of that, the two of them are so compelling as characters. Their various hang ups and traumas, their loves and hates, the time period and the genre of work they originated in all coalesce into something so captivating. I adore the two of them so much, they’re so fascinating. I think everyone can find a little bit of themselves in either one of them, but especially with the addition of Eddie into the series we got a character who was ‘other’, in the same way so many of us feel and are seen, he speaks to us on such a personal level. So, yeah. I love them.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Oh boy. There are so many. Enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff. But if I had to pick one that has been my longest standing love, it would have to be a slow burn. Like, when it hits, it hits. And it hits hard.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I looooove writing some tasty hurt/comfort. There’s just something so addictive about someone needing to be taken care of after something bad or traumatic happens or they’ve just had a really shitty day. It’s so cathartic. And also, I cannot like, I love getting comments screaming at me that I’ve made people hurt or cry or feel things because I know I’m going to make it better, I’m gonna give them that comfort. And it’s such an incredible compliment from people when they tell me that my writing has made them feel feelings. Like it is the highest praise possible that I could induce that in someone. It feels amazing.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Oh my god, that is such a difficult question to answer. I have read so many that have left a permanent mark on my heart or completely rewired my brain. I had to go look through my bookmarks to narrow it down because my god, there are so many talented people in this fandom and even then I was attempted to just give a list of all my top ones because, god they make me feel so many things, people are so fucking talented, I love them. But I would say if I had to choose one, there’s one that lives rent free in my brain. I think of it all the time, it is so god damn special to me and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s the first one that came to mind, It would have to be wouldn’t it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas  kissesforcas I have talked about this fic on my blog before but it just hits me in the right way every time I read it, it’s absolutely magical. I can’t recommend it enough, please go read it. It changed me completely.  There’s so many beautiful moments in it, the two boys are so protective of each other in it, but they also adore their found family and will defend them at any cost, the two of them feel real, their communication feels genuine and honest and realistic while also being true to their characters, I just adore it.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

YES. FANTASY. It is wild to me that I have not done a fully fledged fantasy AU at all yet. Like I adore fantasy, what gives? Why have I not done it yet? Omg ALSO, historical. Like a lot of my special interests are historical based, WHY have I not done that yet?? AND, AND horror maybe? Like a psychological or zombie or paranormal/supernatural or slasher. So many things I haven’t explored that I want to do, and I can’t wait!

What is your writing process like?

Okay, so first things first, I get an idea.  Kind of obvious, I know, but yeah, the idea stage. Usually it’ll be something that hit out of nowhere, I’ll write down one line in the ideas doc and then pretend I won’t be thinking of it for the rest of the day. Then when I admit to myself I want to expand on it, I’ll take all of the brain worms attached to that idea and put them in their own doc. It’ll all be VERY disjointed at this stage, just a stream of consciousness of different situations/conversations/plot bunnies that popped into my head. Once I feel like I have enough of a concept through that, I begin to put them in order, maybe add a few more. Then I outline. I’m an outline kinda gal.  Over a page or two I’ll give a bare bones outline of what the fic will be, almost like it’s a short story? But still very rough.  Then I’ll start writing, usually in chronological order, I find that makes it easier to plant seeds and foreshadow and create consistency with the voice of the fic. Sometimes I will jump ahead if I’m really excited about a particular part of the fic, I’ll get it out before I lose steam on it. HOWEVER, I find that I almost ALWAYS diverge from the outline. If, as I’m writing, things start going in a different direction, I go with the flow, I don’t fight it. Fighting it, I feel is detrimental to my writing, trying to force myself into a box and hey, going with the flow has been working out pretty well for me so far. 🤣

Do you have any writing quirks?

Quirks? I dunno about that. I think I’m a pretty standard writer, but I do end up writing across three devices a lot of the time depending on where’s more comfortable. PC, tablet and phone. I’ll always stick to writing whatever my brain is focusing on at that time, but if I know I need to get a fic out and I’m not really feeling the inspo anymore, I’ll give myself an extra boost by watching movies with similar themes, listening to music related to it, or even just searching the trope on Pinterest can help me generate excitement about it again.Also do yourself a favor and get yourself a Bluetooth keyboard. It’s a game changer for writing on your phone.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’ve done both and I much prefer posting on a set schedule. I always try to get the fic at least 50% finished before I start posting to give myself a nice cushion. Yeah, the immediate endorphin hit of posting once I’m done is great, but I much prefer the option to have a fic mostly or completely done before I post, so I can go back in and tweak things to make a theme hit harder or stick in a tad more foreshadowing or even just to edit.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I love all of my works, honestly. I write for me. I write the things I want to read. I think it would be difficult to narrow down a fic that I am the most proud of. Like I’m actually having a really difficult time picking one and saying “This one. This is the one I am most proud of.” Because I am proud of all of them and it’s for each of their own reasons. Like, some are very, very personal to me, some are stories that made me feel completely unhinged and obsessed(affectionately) and some are stories that touched people in very real ways, or made them feel safe and seen and that is so incredibly special to me. It’s a bit of a cop out to say that I can’t pick one, I can’t choose between my children, but I really can’t, they’re all so special, at least to me, in their own ways.

How did you get the idea for Crossroads?

So I have never seen the movie The Old Guard, but I have heard of it and while I know that reincarnation is not an aspect of that movie, I was struck with the idea of someone going through life over, and over, and over again, just to be close to the one they love the most. Like that kind of time bending devotion. And I had a brain worm of various historical ways of dying and I couldn’t figure out a way to write all of them into one fic before the idea of reincarnation hit. The very first image I had in my head of Eddie dying was being burned at the stake, so I had to work my way up to that time period and beyond. I knew I didn’t want it to be something that had only happened a few times over a couple of hundred years.  I knew I wanted it to be an ancient, centuries spanning kind of devoted love which is what led me to Ancient Greece, and in leading me there, I had to figure out why this was happening. Why Steve was traversing time just to be next to his boy again. Hecate appeared out of the mist and invaded my brain and it all kind of spilled out onto the page after that. 

When writing Cat and Mouse, what was something you didn’t expect?

I gotta be honest, the whole fic was unexpected. 😅 It was one of those stories when I originally thought of it, it was only gonna be a short little thing, maybe one or two chapters. By the end of it we were at 16 chapters and over 70K. Apparently I have no idea how to write anything short. But I think what also took me by surprise was how feral the two of them were for each other even though they didn't actually get together until later. I knew I wanted to have them being snappy and flirtatious for the whole thing and it evolved into the two of them being so dedicated to each other after only meeting a few times. I also didn’t expect the wild reaction I got to the fic, people loved it and were chomping for more and I was floored by it, it made me so incandescently happy!

What inspired Cat and Mouse?

So, the short answer is I saw this post from steddielations and it burrowed so deep into my brain, I had to get it out! Long answer is it was a mix of that post, and then a bit of Mr & Mrs. Smith mixed in along with John Wick. I just loved the idea of two deadly people being so soft for each other they’d be willing to burn the world for each other, do anything at any cost to keep the other safe.

What was your favorite part to write from And They Were Roommates!?

Oh my god, the banter. The banter was loaded with bitching and queerspeak and jabs, it was so much fun. I hadn’t really seen a story where the steddie boys had been bitchy queers before, like leaning into it and I just had to, I had to. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up and I could have gone on for ages just the two of them biting back and forth.

How do/did you feel writing I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife?

Conflicted, honestly. I was worried the POV I was writing from would be a little too out there, you know? There were a few times throughout writing where I thought I’d have to go back and change it out to be more of a standard fic but at the end of the day it felt so right to have the story told the way it was and it also felt very in line with Take Me To Church as well. It’s also the most poetic piece of writing I have done to date and while it’s not something I can see myself revisiting too often, it was a fantastic exercise in moving out of my comfort zone. It got me, right in the heart.

What was the most difficult part of writing The Parting Glass?

Oh boy. The whole fic was an exercise in catharsis. It was a way of processing my own grief after losing a family member and getting it all out into words was very, very helpful. I think the hardest part was just putting down into words how Eddie was feeling right in the aftermath, you know? Like grief is such a personal thing, everyone experiences it differently, so I wanted to try to figure out how Eddie would respond to it, especially considering it was the death of someone so important to him. So to have him looking around the trailer and it being empty but still with bits of Wayne dotted around like he was about to walk back through the door was probably the realest and most difficult part for me.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Oh god there’s so many! I could pick so many! But the first thing that came to mind is the small interaction between Eddie and Robin in Return of The King, when Steve is demonstrating his newly acquired vampire strength for the kids and Eddie has to hold onto Robin to keep himself from melting into a puddle: “Down boy.” She muttered. “Me next.” He practically whimpered right back. “Oh god, Robbie, I wanna be that stump. Tell him to do me next.” “You’re pathetic.” “What about it?” [...] Robin leaned in close to his ear but continued to stare at Steve. “If you two don’t calm the fuck down I’m going to get the hose.” Wet Steve. “Please get the hose.” I love Robin and Eddie together whenever I can get them snarking at each other, it’s just so entertaining. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Oh yeah! A good few things. I’m coming back from my writing break and I’m going to be working on the final two fics for my anniversary event, Through The Valley and Devotion.  I also have a Summer Exchange Fic in the works along with starting on my Steddie Big Bang piece that I am also signed up for as an artist, I’m so excited to start them!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I think I would just like to add that this blog, this concept is such a wonderful idea, you’re doing great work here to bring people and fics to new eyes and it has been an honor and a privilege to be put forward the way I have, I’m so so so thankful. 🖤

Thank you to our author, @penny00dreadful, and our nominator, @hbyrde36! See more of Penny00Dreadful's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[marleysfinest]

ok first of all mar. what a fantastic event you're hosting!!! i will literally never get enough of telling people i love them. second of all i am a very sappy very affectionate person so i'm not sorry if this gets long. in no particular order:

@ghost-1-y : my very first friend on here. so kind and supportive and lovely and wonderful to talk to always. and a great writer on top of it all!!!

@sugurei : my ride or die, my fellow feral being, the older sister i wish i had. u r my favorite enabler & my life is better for having you in it

@peachdues : a deeply talented writer that i am deeply blessed that i get to talk to. passing angst back and forth is truly a pleasure and sometimes gives me a laugh even if it gives me chest pain AHAHA

@dr-runs-with-scissors : CAL MY BELOVED i love you so fucking much. talking to you every day is truly a gift. my life has been much richer since we stumbled across each other and realized we both already enjoyed each other's work. i love you.

@mitsuristoleme : kay!!! my lovely lovely noble blood beta reader. you are wonderful in so many ways i can't even begin to explain. i'm so glad we talk even tho our time zones are so different. keep killing it at uni friend 💜

@threadbaresweater : lin you are my cool aunt jsyk. your writing & fandom takes & posts about real life stuff are all things i am endlessly glad i have the privilege to see on my dash

@2kmps : cort, your honesty is always refreshing, and i admire your dedication to your craft. i'm so glad we've started talking more lately!

@bloompompom : the sweetest kindest most lovely artist on this site!!! being in your orbit is a blessing

@oceaneyesinla : roxy, your constant encouragement and sweet words never fail to make me smile

@teddybeartoji MICKEY i love being insane with you. your excitement about things is contagious and it is so so wonderful

YOU!!! mar you are such a joy to see on my dash, i can never get enough of you fr

there are so many more ppl on this hellsite that i love with my whole heart but i am only human and cannot properly articulate my feelings. but know if we're mutuals or i see you consistently in my notes, i love you so bad and am squeezing you so tight & with so much love

💜💜💜

this is what im TALKIN about fallon thank u for sharing the love!!!!! look at all these stunners!!!!!

share the love in muvva’s feel good 500!

[viperwhispered]

hellow oomf!! throwing in: 5, 11, 17 for the fandom ask meme (and maybe 24 if you wanna get all sentimental and sappy 👀aheh)

-diodellet

Thank you for the asks @diodellet!

5. Something you see in fics a lot and love

Guess I’m just going for the first thing that came to mind: that 

“Oh.

Oh.” 

moment you see sometimes? It can be just so wonderfully juicy. I'm pretty sure there's a tumblr post circulating around for appreciating that and yeah I eat that up every time.

11. If you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

I mean, I would say I’m proud of most of my fics (and even the rest, not like I hate them or anything). I’ve mentioned Of Cows and Curses and Consequences before for a similar ask, since that’s still my biggest foray into longform fic. (I’ve still got so many planned yet unwritten chapters for that. Maybe one day.) Plus it was one of the first fics I really wrote, too, at least in English - kinda a go big or go home start, lol.

But also Fixation and Indulgence. They both were such labors of love.

I really should write some non-smut sometimes that would get me similarly delighted.

Tho How Not to be Swept Under was great fun, too.

17. The thing in canon that everyone loves and that you also love

My brain is so empty now when I’m sure there’s plenty of things I could put here.

I mean, I guess Malleus kinda counts, lol.

I mean, I’d like to think we all appreciate the multidimensionality of every twst cast member, how there’s more to all of them than first meets the eye. Also the fun dynamics you get putting them all together in all the various configurations.

24. How has fandom positively impacted your life?

I mean, I’ve certainly made some lovely friends here ❤️

Also uh pretty sure a fair portion of my sex ed came from fic, lol (we do get decent sex ed at school, but for like sex / body positivity and stuff I have a feeling fan works and fannish works definitely had an impact). Like yeah smut generally is obviously fantastical and sometimes formulaic but also the focus on mutual pleasure and enjoyment that tends to be prevalent is pretty great, even if it can get one's expectations / assumptions a bit high.

Also just all the feels I’ve gotten from fabulous pieces of fanworks, and all the analysis and alternative points of view that have helped me have more nuanced views of things I like. Lovely.

(you can find the ask game in question here)

[designresearch3fr]

Week 9

The Creative. As a designer my influences are vintage and pastoral styling, retro genre art, internet art and comic illustrations. The western comic influence is direct, the eastern comic influence is through artist models. My work is often handmade and against over industrialization, with an emphasis on personal expression, and using media to explore emotion. There's a focus on aesthetics, for the creation of pleasure in viewing. The aesthetics I create are often aspirational but unattainable, showing western beauty standards and old world aesthetics, though not values. I also need to expand my practice into design and absorb more ux ui, not for any thematic purposes, but the practicality of my career.

The Creation. My work is often illustrative, digitally or traditionally. This is thanks to my childhood love of comics and internet communities, which had me drawing from a young age.  My work is often inspired by classical paintings, in like with queer influenced pastoral movements like cottage core, contains queer themes and a focus on aesthetics. The human and nature are my most common subjects, both for their aesthetics and their different themes. I use my humans to display emotional and interpersonal themes, while nature is often displayed as valuable or existential. Either a key part of tiny moments that make like worth living or larger and scarier than the humans. The latter depiction ties into my retro genre pulp inspirations, often inspired by existential eldritch horror like HP Lovecraft.

I'm worried about the body depictions in my work though, since they fit such a narrow perspective of beauty. It's very inspired by classical western beauty standards, which can be harmful to pursue.

My design library also needs to be expanded. There are a million and one ways to be illustrative and meaningful through design in the same way I do illustrations but too often I stick to my comfort zone. I want to be a designer so I need to step outside of my comfort zone.

Creative communities. Most obviously are European, western and (indirectly) eastern comics. European comics have the most artistic Influences, artists like Moebius, Herge and Kerascoet. For their fantastical, even lined, efficient and yet technically mastered styles. Western comics have the most story influenced (excepting Mike Mignola's high contrast horror art style) with their character first interpersonal stories. Eastern comics influence my indirectly via some of my favorite online artists. Anime styles have heavily influenced Online art communities, since the internet used to be a nerdier, niche gathering place for socially unacceptable hobbies which have now gained mainstream acceptability alongside it.

Genre fiction in many forms has a heavy influence on me. The heightened reality bypasses the emotional distance between fiction and us and allows for poignant metaphor. Pulp and horror fiction are especially important to me and feature heavily in my  artistic influences. From modern societally critiquing horror, to HP Lovecraft to classic exploitation cinema. My affinity for horror also ties into alienating high concept 70s-80s fantasy.

If I could work with anyone I'd like to work with old comic legends like Mike Mignola and the two artists behind Kerascoet. These influence writer artists are the blueprints of individualistic, creative driven comics

[callista-curations]

New Year's fic recs (2021-2022)

It’s about time I put the curations part of my tumblr to work on the fanfics side of things, so here goes: A selection of my favourite fics (with turians) I read in the last half year or so.

Yes I am fashionably late, I was going to post this before new year...

The Primarch's Advisor by hardinginhightown

M, oneshot (9k words), Adrien Victus/Castis Vakarian

A rarepair you didn't know you needed in your life (why have one turian dilf in a fic if you can have two). Hard hitting and packed full of emotion, but also exploring a lot of backstory between them and their sons.

NoisyNoiverns' Kryterius collection

G, 13 oneshots and shortfics, Kryterius

A set of 13 Kryterius fics, mostly set in a no-reaper AU, spanning their long lives. Everything from light hearted joking about to the sweetest of fluff. I would particularly highlight “When the Lights Go Down”, also highly recommend checking out their Desolas/Abrudas pieces.

Observations upon waking by interventionsandlullabies

M, oneshot (4k words), Shakarian

Aptly tagged: “Read for free therapy.” A collection of snapshots told through Garrus’ eyes, from the soft to the sharp realities of the war. Fantastically written, intimate and personal.

Loyalty Mission: The Coldest of Hearts by Orionis

T, shortfic (38k words), Shakarian

Set in ME1, early on when they are first working together, this one won’t punch you in the gut with a few truckloads of emotion, though it is a very interesting study of Garrus’ character and Shepards struggles with him (and the rest of her crew).

Same Song, Different Verse by suddenlycomics

T, WIP (12k words), Femsep Garrus and Tali

An exciting AU where Shepard never joins the Alliance, Garrus is a Spectre, and they meet Tali on Earth.

The Softer It Falls by BronzeAgeLove

T, shortfic (10k words), Lorik Qui'in/Lilihierax

Complete with lovely illustrations by heavenlyeros. Gentle, slow, and introspective. Really wonderfully written all around, a gem of an introduction to a(nother) rarepair you didn't know you needed in your life.

Points of Contact by buskie

E, WIP longfic (32k words), Shakarian

A first contact AU fic where Shepard and a certain lost Turian fall in love, comes with plenty of seriousness, silliness, shenanigans, and some smut to top it off.

I'll See You Again by courtmartialed

M, WIP shortfic (5k words), Shakarian

Another First Contact story, this time in a Reincarnation AU. “The captain and lone survivor of that crew is Shepard, though her name is not Shepard yet. And the lone Turian, piloting the ramshackle dinghy that finds her ship, is Garrus.”

On Galaxy's Edge by DatSonyat

T, oneshot (1.5k words), Saren and Desolas

This piece still floors me every time, Saren being this soft just stops my heart mid beat, honestly it's something I've lately felt more and more need to indulge myself in. It's so slow but hits like a fully loaded train, all the emotion is expertly hidden just under the surface. Probably one of the best pieces of writing I've had the pleasure of reading, period.

----------

Much love to all the writers and artists for making boatloads of fantastic content last year, I wish everyone has a fantastic 2022 (with many turians).

I hope you have a nice time reading some of these, and when you do, remember to share your love with the authors!

Author of one of these fics (or illustrator/artist mentioned) and want your tumblr, twitter, or something else linked? Pop me a message and i'll edit it in.

Other comments, questions, or suggestions? Let me know!

[opaldraws]

✨💗 Harringrove Feedback Fest 💗✨

This fandom is so full of amazing creators and if you're seeing this post and you've ever created anything for this wonderful fandom, I APPRECIATE YOU!!

✨Artists✨

@awrble Awrble's art is the reason I discovered harringrove! One of their pieces popped up on my dashboard and I was like "Oh! I've never thought of Billy and Steve together!?" and then everything spiralled out of control. Their art is excellent and I go through their art tag frequently! This piece they did for the zine makes my heart so mushy and this piece is just so playful and cute!

@juu-riin Julie's art constantly makes my day better, whether it's a stream of doodles like these, a fluffy piece like this, or something SPICY like this !!

@lazybakerart Ever since I found their blog when I first joined this fandom, I thought their art was the most creative and visually compelling art I had ever seen! I frequently scroll through their art because I aspire to have the same grasp on color that they do! Like this piece is so perfect!! And I completely adore this one!!

@ihni Ihni's drawings always make me smile! I think that they are so creative and funny and it shows through their art! Like I laughed out loud at this one! And this piece is so perfect for Billy and Steve

@swimbirdyswim Their art is so dynamic and cool! I totally adore this piece and this one is AWESOME! And they have some really cute and soft drawings that just melt my heart!! Like this one!

@b-leach-ing Their art is so sweet! I especially really love this one!! And omg these holiday drawings are just too adorable!!

@dearvenison How could I ever get over this STUNNING piece?! This tender moment is captured so well and if this isn't canon in s4 I'm gonna riot!! Their art is just so amazing!

@ezisdrawing Ez's art is so full of life! I love how they draw Joe and their nb Steve pieces are my absolute favorite! Like these ones! They're just so cute! And this most recent drawing omg! It's so lovely!

@darkmystdrake Annie's art is so spicy and hot! Every time I see it, I notice how dynamic the poses are! And I always appreciate the piercings added onto the boys! This is one of my favs of Steve! And damn! THIS ONE IS AMAZING!

@avalonlights Their art is so so so wonderful! They set a scene beautifully and every piece of theirs just pulls me in! Like I still think about this one a year later! And this piece! Billy and Steve look so in love and the relationship is expressed perfectly! I just love love love their art so much!

@deardmvz Marilyn's art is so fun!! They have so many fresh and interesting ideas and I love seeing what they come up with! Like this vamp Billy is so cool! And this piece is so sweet and beautiful!

@kingsandsaints Their art is unbelievable! Every time I see their art I am in awe of it! Like this piece is insane?! I could stare at it forever!! And omg I love this punk Billy art!!

✨Editors/Gif Makers✨

@memes-saved-me Their photo edits are so distinct and identifiable! And their video edits are always so cool to watch!

@hoegrove I LOVE the gifsets that they make, they're so creative and fun!

✨Blogs I Could Scroll Through For Hours✨

@smashmouth-hargrove - idk how to explain it, but I have actually spent *hours* reading through their writing. You can just tell that they have fun with what they're writing and that makes it fun to read!

@rascheln/@steviespanties Rina's writing is so amazing! They have so many creative and dirty ideas and I can't get enough of them!

@draculcid Not only is their writing amazing, they make some really great edits! I really enjoy reading their responses to asks and they have so much creativity!

@yikesharringrove Yikes has written so many of my favorite fics and I love seeing how they expand on the prompts they receive! I remember the first time I found their blog and I spent like 2 weeks devouring all of their writing,, it was awesome

@ghostofjellyfishforgotten I have read so many ficlets from them and they are always so well written and interesting! And there are so many posts that have paragraphs of tags under them that are amazing! (And they wrote some jestor/king smut months ago that I can't find anymore AND IT'S LIKE ONE OF MY FAV FICS I'VE EVER READ AND I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME)

✨Fics✨

in the locust wind by @hectordelavega - pls understand that this fic completely ruined me. it's perfect. it's been like a month since i read this and i still think about it all the time.

Walking Home (v)., the Tourniquet by @passivenovember - Jaz's writing is so lovely, I have reread so many of their fics and they even wrote me one that is incredibly adorable T^T BUT back on topic, this fic is everything! Jaz has a way of writing Billy and Steve that is just so perfect, and I love their dynamic in this fic!

orange juice by @aspartaeme - this fic is so fun! I love how thirsty Steve and Billy are for each other and I really enjoyed the whole premise of this fic!

Took it all and took the dirt road home by @nagdabbit - this short lil fic is so soft and emotional,, it just feels so hopeful

with every several pleasure in the world by @rvspberryjvm - I completely adore this fic with my whole heart! Jones is a fantastic writer and their talent truly shines in this fic (and all of their fics)!

Billy Hargrove’s Exploration of Beauty (series) by @mourntheantagonist - this series is amazing! I love how Mandi has Billy and Steve address gender stereotypes and lets Billy explore his gender expression!

Sweet Wonderful You by @cherrydreamer - the way this fic stole my heart! it's just so soft and adorable and Steve and Billy are just the best bfs to each other :') Cherry's writing is so fantastic!

Lonely Hearts Club by @shewritesdirty - this fic (like all of Cait's fics) is so wonderfully written and once I started reading it, I just couldn't stop! It's got the perfect mix of humor, tenderness, and smut!

Plant Your Feet by PeckishDragon - this fic is so sweet,, I will always have a soft spot for dads!harringrove and Billy is just the best dad in this :')

you act so pure (i know you're laced) by @softjish - this fic. THIS FIC. IT IS SO TENDER AND IT BREAKS MY HEART AND PUTS IT BACK TOGETHER IN 5K WORDS.

seventh inning stretch by @holdenduckfield - Idk anything about baseball, but I *do* know that I adore Jill's writing! I love how competitive the boys are in this and how their rivalry evolves!

Bad dog, no biscuits by @catharrington - this is f i l t h y and perfect in every way! Steve is so dominant and he takes care of Billy so well! I am 100% convinced this is how Tina's Halloween party ended.

i'm falling now, but it's so wrong by @hartigays - Ouch this fic has a lovely balance of hurt comfort and it is a great read! I remember I read it all in one go because I just got so hooked!

I Ain’t Fraid Of No Ghosts by @heck-in-a-handbasket - this fic has a special place in my heart bc I love ghost Billy! Reading how Steve dealt with Billy's ghostly shenanigans was hilarious and when they finally become *acquainted*, they work so well together!

@gothyringwald thank you for putting this little love fest together!

[shealwaysreads]

Just dropping in to say I hope you realise how fucking talented you are. Your writing is just beautiful and I am envious and bitter and completely addicted. It should be illegal for you to be such a wonderful person and that fantastic an author ♥️

Hey anon!

First off, I want to thank you for your beautiful compliments on my writing—I put a lot of love into it so it always means the world when someone lets me know they enjoyed it. I pour a lot of precious time and energy into my writing, and everything I’ve created and shared has come from the heart—I write it from myself and for myself primarily, but I share it purposefully and the joy I get from hearing that other people have connected with it really is immense ❤️

But I also want to talk a little bit about the idea that my writing makes you feel envious/bitter—which might have been a completely off-hand comment without any deep intention, but it really caught my attention and gutted me a little bit, because I can empathise with that. I go through phases of feeling like I’ll never be skilled or talented enough to write the way I want to, and it’s become part of my creative process to encounter and then deal with that feeling when I’m in the midst of a project. There was also this post  (particularly @pineau-noir’s brilliant addition) circulating on my dash which has provoked a lot of discussion amongst me and my friends, and I wanted to bring a little of that out here, so forgive me for highjacking your ask.

Envy/jealousy is something that all of us feel, at one point or another. Whether it's looking at how many followers/subscribers/kudos a creator has, or the perfect turn of phrase or clever plot device that just makes you wish you’d thought of it! And jealousy is uncomfortable, we all know it’s not a nice emotion, and I think part of what makes it difficult to process is that it can feel like something that we need to keep secret. It isn’t a pretty emotion to feel, even less to admit to publicly, so it’s an emotion that can fester if left unchecked. It’s when this happens that resentment/bitterness can set in, and once those feelings get their feet under the table it’s hard to get rid of them and find your equilibrium again.

But if we accept that we probably all feel envy at some stage, then perhaps we can be a little kinder to ourselves and each other about it instead of letting it become something that settles into a stone around our feet that stops us from taking joy in our own work and in the work that other people share with us. We can accept that an emotional response (feeling like we’re not as good, or as experienced, or just plain less-than) is a natural thing, but we can also acknowledge that our first initial emotional response isn’t the be-all and end-all—we can choose how we express and respond to that instinctual kick of emotion.

We’re in the position to cultivate a sense of self-awareness and catch ourselves when we feel that envy creeping in, and we can challenge it, and manage it. Sometimes that’s going to mean taking a break, sometimes it’s venting to a friend, sometimes it’s actually facing ourselves down and recognising that the negative self-talk is coming from inside and we need to rewrite that narrative for ourselves.

For me it’s about looking at what I love about someone else’s creativity and appreciating it—it’s a gift they’ve given, and focusing on the pleasure I can take in their talent and skills, and remembering that they probably feel like I do when they see their own favourite creator means that I can tune in and remember that we’re all in the same boat, and there’s a lot of comfort in that.

Making fandom friends is something that makes a huge difference—when you can look at someone you love, creating work that you love, it becomes easy and habitual to take joy in their victories, and then you can look at every other fandom creator in that way. Because fandom is a community; to survive it needs all of us to participate. It needs every writer, and every artist. It needs every podficcer, every reccer and beta-reader, every gif-maker, every graphic maker, and every editor. It needs every fanvid creator, and every reader, commenter, and enthusiastic tumblr-tagger. It’s a community that lives and breathes on creation, interpretation, re-interpretation, celebration, sharing, the interlinked inspiration of headcanons and tropes and subversion and elevation of every iteration on character and plot.

Fandom exists because we’re all here. Including you.

I’ve got some links here, of posts that helped me and inspired me, including the tag I use on my blog to collect all the quotes and advice that keep me on track with remembering that my writing is mine, and it’s okay, and it’s worth creating.

Writing advice

@ruinsplume’s beautiful advice here

This art

Advice on competition

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

[universallywriting]

I have invested way to much of my mental health in my appreciation of your work.

That’s not good for me. And it’s not fair to you. I need to find some more comfortwriters. Can you think of any writers that makes you feel better?

As someone who has only recently accepted that they are, in fact, grade A fucked up and need to take care of myself better, let me give you a list of stuff I do:

Sitcoms. Many of them come with some problematic episodes (or are fundamentally problematic, lol), but you can always skip them. Sitcoms rarely have continuity. The office, Parks and Rec, Friends, Bob's Burgers, new Girl. Brooklyn 99, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, How I Met Your Mother, Letterkenny, there's so many sitcoms! And if you want cartoon ones, there's stuff like Craig of the Creek, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Kim Possible, Regular Show. This stuff is simple and comforting and everything always turned out right in the end.

Books. There's an author named T. Kingfisher who has a huge collection of fairy tales that she's rewritten and I love them all. I reread Bryony and Roses and The Raven and the Reindeer whenever I need some comfort. Anything from the Hitchhiker's Guide series is great for a laugh. All of Terry Pratchett's Discoworld books warm my soul, especially the witches and Tiffany Achig books.

Fanfics. I have an ever expanding library of bookmarks, because I try to mark everything I might reread in the future. There's explicit content in there, but AO3 is fantastic and you can filter that out for whatever you like. They're not all comfort, but everything I've enjoyed in the past few years is there. I have an ancient fanfic account, but I can't even imagine what I favorited over there so it'll stay secret. https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadithi/bookmarks

Podcasts. Hot tip - start with the most recent and works backwards until you're not enjoying it anymore. Early episodes of anything are more likely to be unenjoyable, and have some uncomfortable politics. The world has changed a lot in five years. 99% Invisible is rarely upsetting. I Hate It But I Love it is a fun show discussing guilty pleasure movies. My Brother, My Brother And Me is famous for their "no bummers" rules. The Villain Was Right is a funny podcast about arguing in favor of movie villains. Reply All has a few serious episodes, but a lot of really fun ones too!

Self care. Take a bath. Get an essential oil diffuser. Massage lotion or body butter into your skin - and really rub it in there. Make a decadent cup of tea. Buy a fancy coffee. Get yourself one of those pricy, expensive chocolate bars. Cuddle up under a heated blanket. Snuggle with an animal, or a bunch of pillows, or stuffed animals. Go for a walk outside, or just go exist somewhere covered in plants. Go be by some body of water. Do a facemask. Paint your nails. Play with makeup. Take a nap. Put on your favorite music and sing.

Hobbies. Draw, even if you're bad at it. Color in coloring books. Knit, crochet, weave, or sew. Write your own comfort. Cook. Bake. Origiami. Get really into cheese or coffee or wine if you're old enough. Become a makeup artist. Tumble rocks. Embrace gardening. Be a great gamer. Carve wood. Play DnD, or board games. Life is hard and happiness can be even harder. I've been undoing the trauma I was given for years now, and life has slowly gotten better. It's still hard, though. And, you know, some days I can't really do anything, and I just have a bad shitty day, and that's okay too. Being content is a journey, not a destination, and I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey. <3

[readerbookclub]

So here’s the thing: this is gonna be the last book before my hiatus. So, I thought I’d be a little self-indulgent and finally post a list I’ve been excited about for a long time. I’ve had this idea since we first started doing themed lists and I’ve done a ton of research to prepare these books. 

“Unconventional” is a somewhat different theme. It’s a collection of books that break the mould, experiment with new formats, or approach story telling in a different way. Before each book I’ll explain what’s so unconventional about it.

While doing research for this book list I discovered many other unconventional novels that I couldn’t include here. My tbr list grew so much longer! If anyone’s as interested in this concept as I am, let me know and I’ll share some of the other books that caught my attention. 

Okay, enough blabbering! Here’s the list:

Our first book takes the form of a commentary on a poem, “Pale Fire”, by a deceased poet. The writer of this commentary has a tendency to go off on tangents and talk a little too much. And thus, a story is told within footnotes and comments. This concept really appealed to me, especially since I loved the footnotes in one of our earlier reads, A Gentleman in Moscow, so much. 

Pale Fire, by Vladimir Nobokov

The American poet John Shade is dead. His last poem, 'Pale Fire', is put into a book, together with a preface, a lengthy commentary and notes by Shade's editor, Charles Kinbote. Known on campus as the 'Great Beaver', Kinbote is haughty, inquisitive, intolerant, but is he also mad, bad - and even dangerous? As his wildly eccentric annotations slide into the personal and the fantastical, Kinbote reveals perhaps more than he should be. Nabokov's darkly witty, richly inventive masterpiece is a suspenseful whodunit, a story of one-upmanship and dubious penmanship, and a glorious literary conundrum.

This next book is comprised of two sections, each with their own symbols--one a camera and the other an eye. When the book was printed, there were two verions: Camera first, Eye second and Eye first, Camera second. Ultimately, people end up reading the exact same words, just in a different order. This seemed like such a fun concept, especially if half of us read it one way and the other half read it the other way. We could compare how the order affected our experience with the novel. 

How to Be Both, by Ali Smith

How to be both is a novel all about art’s versatility. Borrowing from painting’s fresco technique to make an original literary double-take, it’s a fast-moving genre-bending conversation between forms, times, truths and fictions. There’s a Renaissance artist of the 1460s. There’s the child of a child of the 1960s. Two tales of love and injustice twist into a singular yarn where time gets timeless, structural gets playful, knowing gets mysterious, fictional gets real—and all life’s givens get given a second chance.

Our next book also plays with the order in which it’s read. At the beginning of the book, the author offers the reader a choice. Either they read the book as normal, starting with the first chapter and continuing in chronological order. Or they take the “hopscotch” approach, jumping through an alternate sequence of chapters. For some reason, the idea of being given permission to read a book out of order really excites me! Warning though, this book is 560 pages long, making it slightly longer than what we normally read.

Hopscotch, by Julio Cortazar

Horacio Oliveira is an Argentinian writer who lives in Paris with his mistress, La Maga, surrounded by a loose-knit circle of bohemian friends who call themselves "the Club." A child's death and La Maga's disappearance put an end to his life of empty pleasures and intellectual acrobatics, and prompt Oliveira to return to Buenos Aires, where he works by turns as a salesman, a keeper of a circus cat which can truly count, and an attendant in an insane asylum. Hopscotch is the dazzling, freewheeling account of Oliveira's astonishing adventures.

This next book is told through the second person, and that’s not all! It tells the story of “you”, someone who is desperately trying to read the book. The problem is, every time the story starts something prevents “you” from finishing it. It’s a story with many beginnings, but supposedly no ending. And one in which “you” are the protagonist. Now that’s unconventional!

If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller, by Italo Calvino

Italo Calvino's masterpiece combines a love story and a detective story into an exhilarating allegory of reading, in which the reader of the book becomes the book's central character. Based on a witty analogy between the reader's desire to finish the story and the lover's desire to consummate his or her passion, If on a Winter's Night a Traveller is the tale of two bemused readers whose attempts to reach the end of the same book, If on a Winter's Night a Traveller by Italo Calvino, of course, are constantly and comically frustrated. In between chasing missing chapters of the book, the hapless readers tangle with an international conspiracy, a rogue translator, an elusive novelist, a disintegrating publishing house, and several oppressive governments. The result is a literary labyrinth of storylines that interrupt one another - an Arabian Nights of the postmodern age.

Our final book is told solely through dialogue between a woman on a hospital bed and a child. The story does not always makes sense, as reality and fantasy start to blend. It’s supposed to be a little incoherent, like a fever dream. Apparently, it feels a lot more like a nightmare. Quite scary and very intriguing. 

Fever Dream, by Samantha Schweblin

Experience the blazing, surreal sensation of a fever dream… A young woman named Amanda lies dying in a rural hospital clinic. A boy named David sits beside her. She’s not his mother. He’s not her child. Together, they tell a haunting story of broken souls, toxins, and the power and desperation of family. Fever Dream is a nightmare come to life, a ghost story for the real world, a love story and a cautionary tale. One of the freshest new voices to come out of the Spanish language and translated into English for the first time, Samanta Schweblin creates an aura of strange psychological menace and otherworldly reality in this absorbing, unsettling, taut novel.

Thank you for getting this far! As always vote for which one we should read here. 

Tag List (message to be added/removed):  @solitarystudies​ @adhyayana-v​ @appleinducedsleep​ @bowieziggyfan​ @wanderlustingdreamer​ @elfspectations​ @astreamoflight​ @bubblylion​ @love-witch-magic​ @arctic-mistress​ @asmolhumanwoman​ @medicineandamurder​ @belateeegfya14​ @orangesays​ @guilthurts​ @earphonesandquills​ @hernerdreview​ @hunnynectarine​ @earlgraysandcloudydays​ @yeeveria​ @artemisias-status-quo​ @taurean-angel​ @redvelvetprincess​ @imreadingthings​ @leftlightdestiny​ @tams-writeblr​ @beautifulcomputerstarfish​ @ahen007​

[astramachina]

I subbed to Dipsea for a free trial and I have many a thought. None of them are safe for any kind of work environment so heads up.

Dipsea is an app designed by women for women (originally, anyways; someone on the internet said that "men are more inclined to visual porn while women enjoy auditory experiences because it's "more respectful" and I laugh at the idiocy of that statement), that is 95% audio erotica. (Playing it fast and loose with the math here.) The other 5% are sleep aid/meditation audios which is always nice considering that's what got me into the whole audio thing to begin with. This is the first time I've ever wandered into the professionally produced sea (heh) of audio po//rn and I am conflicted about it. Mostly for personal reasons but, y'know.

DISCLAIMER: I am not at all knocking on them. I think they're doing a fantastic job and honestly kudos to them for their continued efforts to bring diversity and positivity to sexual wellness!

The production value is amazing. The scripts are top tier, the acting is incredible, the SFX are subtle and definitely add to the experience, and, above all, there's a delightful philosophy of inclusion among its audio pieces. You can search by tags to refine kinks, accents, and even "diverse voices" (lots of BIPOC writers and actors)—but the selection of queerness is paltry. The lesbian selection is certainly more expansive, which makes sense due to the reason for its creation, but its male4male assortment is severely limited.

When you first sign up, the app takes you through the "select what you're here for" process, and as a queer nb transdude, I did just that. I don't recall the precise wording, but it was something along the lines of "upping my self-pleasure game", "M4M", "pick something you like" (I plaid it simple and chose the British Accent category), and one other option that had me shrugging because neither selection was relevant to my interests.

I had a whooping selection of 3 whole audios that matched the criteria.

While my erotica consumption doesn't always coincide with my real life gender identity and sexuality, i.e. I don't mind watching/listening to m/f encounters, I know a lot of trans/queer folks that cannot vibe (heh) to it. This is particularly relevant to the character x you categories that I was surprised to come across. I'm impressed and frankly delighted to see this kind of dynamic jump into the "mainstream", as it were. My curiosity led me to two characters, Jack and Quentin, that for the first time in a very long time left me blushing. Of course, the immersion is often broken because the listener is meant to be female, and for the first time ever I actually found myself frustrated by that fact.

Perhaps I'm spoiled by the indie voice actors doing the good lord's work over on YouTube, (I'd say Sound//gasm but since it has no search function it is practically unusable unless artists share it to their own sites which are also impossible to find) and their commitment to making sure everyone across the board is covered. In quite a few occasions I've tracked down these peoples' Pa//treons to drop a nice juicy tip for their continued services.

Thankfully, Dipsea's FAQ does state that they're in the process of growing their M4M library, and for that I applaud them. As lovely as it is to listen to Him + Him + Her 3somes, some Him + You in which the You = Him would be greatly appreciated and fantastically received. I wholly intend to keep my subscription once my free trial is up for many a reason, but especially in hopes of seeing some more queer friendly smut.

Also, please give Jack and Quentin's voice actors a raise. Pronto.

[matthiasschoenaertsdaily]

Matthias Schoenaerts full interview for De Morgen Magazine (original in Flemish, translated into English by @matthiasschoenaertsdaily​)

Interview by Els Maes, published on November 28, 2020

Even a global pandemic will not destroy the optimism of actor Matthias Schoenaerts (42). Because he knows from his own experience how much beauty can emerge from the most hopeless situations. "I've had my back against the wall often enough, I'll always find a way out."

A bleak autumn day on a concrete square. There is lukewarm coffee, lukewarm Chimay and rolling tobacco. At dusk we see the silhouettes of fat rats that shoot past our ankles. And yet Matthias Schoenaerts will tell us in a glowing argument that this, here and now, is the very best place to be. That there is so much beauty to discover, he says. Le paradis c'est ici. As long as we want to see it.

"It's strange to say in this unpleasant period, but I've enjoyed the past few months enormously. It's the first time in ten years, since Runskop actually, that I'll be home for a long period of time. This is so beneficial: I am photographing, painting, writing. I can devote time and attention to the very simple things we'd otherwise race past."

"Seriously, look at that," he says, picking a leaf off the ground. "Those colors, that pattern. I can spend hours looking at the pure beauty of the things that surround us."

Above us a pigeon is wreaking havoc between the thinned out foliage. "While you are singing about the wonderful beauty of nature, that animal is going to shit on our heads," I say. "And that too will be a s-p-l-e-n-d-i-d moment," Schoenaerts answers.

Matthias Schoenaerts is Belgium's most successful international film star. But here and now, on a bench in his hometown, he is a technically unemployed actor, an all-round searching artist, but above all: fighter of cynicism. "I refuse to go along with all negativity and fear. The true battle today is cynicism versus courage. And I always choose the latter."

We're on the Oudevaartplaats, the square that everyone knows as the Antwerp Bird Market, and where Schoenaerts' childhood memories are waiting to be picked up. It comes into the conversation just like that: Brando, the cute chow chow that little Matthias got from his mom on this square, when here on the bird market puppies were still sold. "My dogs were my great loves. The home situation was often difficult, and with my dogs I found security. We had three chow chows, those fluffy lion dogs with a blue tongue. Brando was the first, I loved that animal."

"We lived in a small apartment with three dogs, anything but ideal. One day we let them go, to people with a large estate. That was heartbreaking."

There is a beautiful lesson in that, about love and letting go. It would have been selfish to keep your dogs if you could give them a nicer life elsewhere, wouldn't it?

"Absolutely, but I obviously didn't process that departure properly. Brando still appears in my dreams, after all these years. Then he returns home unexpectedly, and am I mad with joy.

"I often dream about my parents too: that reunion is so intensely beautiful and warm. Oh, there you are, finally! Those dreams are true to life, and the awakening is rock-hard."

Is that one of the reasons why you like being here in Antwerp, because here you feel more connected to the people that you loved?

"This is my home, my zero, I can't imagine a place in the world where I would rather live. When my mom was alive, and especially when she got sick, in between filming I tried to be with her as much as possible here in Antwerp. In the meantime I have an apartment here, my first permanent place of my own, but I've hardly been there in recent years. Now I can finally enjoy my home, I find peace, tranquility and inspiration there. I have seen fantastic sunsets on my roof terrace in recent months. So much beauty, and you can just admire it there, every day, for free. As long as you take the time to enjoy it.

"Normally I would have started filming again in April, and left for a hectic ride of at least two years, with projects that would follow each other quickly. I was at my limits, sooner or later I was going to bang my head against the wall. I feel how beneficial it is to slow down for a moment. David Lynch said that: 'Just slow things down and it becomes more beautiful'.

"As an actor you have to work in a big machine, according to a tight schedule. I have now discovered the pleasure of creating things for myself very spontaneously in my own cadence."

Is that work something you ever want to go public with?

"I want to do something with my photography someday, but I'm in no hurry. I'm also writing a film script, I've had an idea for a trilogy for a long time. It's a very personal project, and it takes time for it to crystallize into something very pure and proper. Maybe those films will come within ten years, maybe never.

"The most important thing is to keep busy. You have to look for something, anything, on which you can focus your passion, love and attention. Of course I would like to return to set, and those projects will come back later. But if I can't change anything about a situation, why worry about it?

"From a very young age I learned that there are not many certainties in life, I adapt easily to unexpected circumstances. There is one thing I can't stand, and that is feeling powerless. I never want to be the victim of a situation, I will always think: what can I do myself? Which way can I go? I have often enough stood with my back against the wall, I will always find a way out and take matters into my own hands."

So Schoenaerts decided to use this period to put Zenith - his artist name as a street artist - to hard work. Since the lockdown he has already created nine impressive murals, including one in the courtyard of the Oudenaarde prison, and one at the beginning of this month in the Antwerp Begijnenstraat, on the bare walls that form their furthest horizon for the prisoners. A moving event, he says. Not only by the touching conversations with inmates, and the forty-minute applause with which the prisoners welcomed him. "The mural contains a poem by my father. While I am there painting those beautiful words of my dad on the wall, I suddenly remember that my mom used to give meditation lessons to the prisoners there in the Begijnenstraat. I had completely forgotten about that until I stood there. How beautiful that is. Suddenly I felt my parents very tangible, very close to me."

It's a bit funny: a long time ago you were arrested for graffiti, now they invite you to prison to make a mural.

"I used to tag a lot, but I really don't like the vandalism that sometimes comes with graffiti. Defacing a facade, that's just ridiculous. But trains, bridges, tunnels.... frankly I think that's the max. Soon I'm going to do another oldskool graffiti wall, with some friends, back to the roots. But with permission, yes."

Scary dudes

The problems of the Belgian detention system are well known: outdated infrastructure, overcrowding and a system of pre-trial detention which means that some people are innocently stuck for years. Schoenaerts: "These are human lives that are destroyed by the Belgian state, isn't that scandalous?"

Schoenaerts' engagement started years ago, after meeting Hans Claus, prison director in Oudenaarde, who contacted him when he wanted to organize a screening of Le Fidèle, the film by Michaël R. Roskam starring Schoenaerts. Claus has been fighting for many years for a reform of our detention system, among others with the non-profit organization De Huizen, small-scale centers that are more focused on rehabilitation and reintegration of the detainee. How does Schoenaerts see his role? "Those murals are a kind of lubricant for me, to get attention for this problem. I am not the expert and I am certainly not a politician. This injustice touches me as a human being, and my message is clear: please listen to the people who have been working hard for decades to reform the system from the inside."

In The Mustang, your last feature film to be seen here before the lockdown, you take on the role of a prisoner who learns to tame wild horses and his demons. Has that role changed your vision?

"That rehabilitation program with mustangs really exists, and the chance of recidivism is almost zero percent. I had a conversation in the Begijnenstraat with the minister of Justice Vincent Van Quickenborne (Open Vld, ed.), and he told me that the chance of relapse here is 40 to 50 percent. Isn't that madness?

"That's what fascinates me most of all: what do we do with those detainees while they're stuck? How can we help to break the destructive patterns that put them in prison? Imprisonment is a punishment in itself, but someday we'll send those people back into society, so let's mainly support them in their self-development.

"In preparation for The Mustang, I visited prisons in the U.S., and talked to men who had been detained for 20, 30 years. Heavy guys: Aryan Brotherhood (powerful crime syndicate of neo-Nazis in American prisons, ed.), Mexican gang leaders... real scary dudes. You know what those say to me? That they live in fear every day, but they must not show weakness. Psychological counseling and things like that have their value, but that's often very cerebral. I especially believe in the healing power of art. Imagine that inmates can express all those fucked up emotions through art: I think that there is an enormous potential in this."

I heard you're playing with the idea of giving acting lessons to inmates?

"That's not a concrete plan yet, but I would love it if people from the creative sector would commit themselves to this: musicians, sculptors, dancers. Or writers who help prisoners put their own story into words.

"The cultural sector needs to start sticking its neck out. The sector is lying flat, and that's terrible. But we have to keep moving. We can all do something for the community, without being paid for it. Planting small seeds, doing something good for your fellow man, something beautiful always comes out of it."

Had you been to a prison before The Mustang?

"To visit friends, yes. In Merksplas, Hoogstraten, Hasselt, Dendermonde... We shouldn't talk about that any further. A prison is deep tristesse. Who dares to call that 'a hotel', shame on you."

This summer you painted an impressive mural in Paris in honor of George Floyd, murdered by American officers. And in Ostend last week a new mural was unveiled, with a 'decapitated' Leopold II. Is activism an important part of your street art?

"Graffiti used to be more of a style exercise for me, you want to create things that get noticed within the scene. But gradually I felt like communicating with a wider audience. I like to incorporate a lot of symbolism in my paintings, such as the cracks I photograph all over the world and then magnify them in another place. And the praying hands, a universal image of hope and faith in yourself. Art has the power to speak to our deepest emotions, and that is what binds us to the other. Connectedness, empathy, harmony, solidarity, that's the essence for me."

The corona crisis is one big exercise in empathy and solidarity. Sometimes we seem to lack that.

"I refuse to surrender to cynicism, and I surround myself with positive people who do beautiful things for others. This period would lead us to insights: how do we deal with each other? Do we help each other, or is it every man for himself? A human is such a wonderful creature, but we mess it up so much for ourselves.

"Yeah, I know. Some people who read this will think: this guy is smoking too many joints. (laughs) I don't smoke joints, and I'm not an unworldly idealist. But I will always focus my attention on the good, in spite of everything."

If you always want to see the good in people, are you sometimes disappointed?

"Yes, of course. I'm not a naive brat, I've learned to guard my boundaries. I can't please everyone all the time, and I don't let anyone rush me. I react badly when people put pressure on me because they want things from me. The perception of me that others have of me, I can't control. I don't let myself put out of balance easily anymore."

I saw that on your Instagram Stories you warned about fake profiles on social media, of people pretending to be you. That made you visibly angry.

"Really, that makes me angry. Every day I receive screenshots from people who have been tricked by crooks who approach innocent victims with my name and my pictures. There are stories of fans who have paid thousands of euros because they were promised a meet-and-greet with me. How disgusting is that? One person has transferred 14,000 euros to someone who pretended to be my manager.

"Of course, that raises questions about how gullible some people can be. But I've seen those chat conversations for myself: those criminals are terribly sneaky. They know how to play on the vulnerabilities of their victims in a very cunning way. This is manipulation and swindle of the filthiest kind.

"Really, I get physically unwell when I think about it. How can someone be so mean? If I ever catch these guys, I'm gonna bash their skulls in, I'm not kidding. Sorry."

Or: those crooks get a jail sentence, where you're going to give them acting lessons.

(laughs) "Okay, let it be clear that I think everyone should be punished for their crimes. My commitment to the prison system is not a plea for impunity, and I certainly don't want to romanticize crime.

"But when someone abuses innocent people's trust in such a cunning way, the question is: how did you derail so morally? And above all: how can we initiate a transformation in that person? Surely you can't lock someone up and expect that person to suddenly make better choices years later? First such a person has to take responsibility for his own actions."

Do you have something criminal on your conscience?

"No." (Thinks for a second) "No. Thank God. I couldn't live with that.

"I've probably hurt people in my life, like everybody else. Sometimes we just hurt people because of who we are, or because we can't fulfill what others want from us. But I have never harmed anyone consciously or criminally, no."

As a teenager you sometimes came into contact with the juvenile court, for vandalism. Do you think you could have ended up on the other side of the bars?

"Probably, a life can take strange turns sometimes."

What made you sit here today, and not get on the 'wrong' path?

"Wait... that's a good question. There's the one terrible dramatic event that caused a total turnaround in my life: when my dad went into a coma after a psychosis, and I was told he only had 24 hours left to live.

"I was 21 then, thrown out of school for the umpteenth time. I was doing graffiti and wanted to find my way creatively. But I was messing around, going with friends who... Anyway, there was latent danger, it threatened to go a little bit the wrong way.

"And then I got that phone call: come and say goodbye. Bam. The relationship with my father had been sour for years, we hardly saw each other. Until I stood there at his deathbed in intensive care... I only felt love, a wave of emotions that I had pushed down very deeply. That realization was rock-hard: this was it. My father and I will never get the chance to figure shit out, I thought.

"Long story, the rest is known: after 72 hours my father woke up from a coma against all odds. Like a plant: he could not speak, reacted to nothing or nobody. According to the chief psychiatrist, we had to accept that his condition would never improve. That was without the fighting spirit of my mother and me.

"It's because of that unlikely event that I've changed my whole lifestyle. For eight months, my mother and I went to visit my father every day. We talked to him, but he seemed to look straight through us. For hours we sat with him at the psychiatry department of Stuivenberg, how desperate those first months were also. We continued to fight, taught him to talk, to eat, to walk. A miracle, the doctors called it. Bullshit of course. It was love, dedication and stubbornness. Especially thanks to my mother, the lioness who kept fighting for him. And see how much beauty came out of it. My life then received an entirely different impulse.

"I suddenly think of an anecdote I've never told before. After a while we were allowed to take my father to the cafeteria once in a while, or to the garden. But he was absolutely not allowed to leave the hospital. Fuck it. I hid a bag of clothes for him, secretly dressed him in the toilet and took my father to the city. By bus, because I didn't have a driver's license. I wanted to stimulate his senses, test if any memories would come back. He was fond of Our Lady's Cathedral, so that's where I wanted to take him."

Matthiaske, why am I crying?

He plays it out. The written version here is only a dead script compared to the lived-through performance, right there on that dark square, just around the corner of the Arenbergschouwburg, where Matthias made his stage debut as a 9-year-old boy next to father Julien, as The Little Prince.

Matthias shows how he supported his frail dad, and how they shuffled in small, careful steps towards the cathedral. Dad looking at the ground to be sure not to fall. "I say, 'Dad, look up'. He looks up, and I see the tears rolling down his cheeks. I had never seen my father cry. 'Matthiaske,' he says, 'can you tell me why I'm crying?'

"I had already decided then that I would take my father into my house. Overconfident, yes, at that age, but they have become the most beautiful years of my life. Mom came by every day to help. Suddenly we were a bit of a family again, something we had only been for a short time when I was young."

It was at that time that you decided to become an actor. Why did you decide to become an actor?

"I had always resisted following in my father's footsteps. In my youth I mainly wanted to break away from my father, and seek my own path. I didn't want to have anything to do with him and all those loudmouths around him in the theater world. But most of all I was terrified that compared to the great Julien Schoenaerts I would never be good enough.

"Only now do I understand why I then decided to go to the conservatory. Not to become an actor, but to understand my father. We had so many years together, and now that we had been given a second chance, I wanted to get to know him as well as possible. By acting, maybe I could get closer to him." (pauses)

Sentimental fuss

He banishes the tears. It's one of the many things he has in common with his father, he says: they're both very emotional, but they hate sentimental fuss. "Come on, Matthias: breathe," he commands himself.

"Voilà, see how much beauty can come out of misery. What a chain of beautiful things came out of the fight my mother and I put up in the most hopeless situation. Who knows how differently my life would have turned out?"

"There are so many lessons in that. If we just talked about the rehabilitation of detainees, for example. It takes commitment. Not a workshop of two hours. You have to persevere, even in the event of a setback, with no guarantee of a happy ending. That's why I think it's so important to keep telling that story about my dad. Those are the values I believe in: dedication, stamina, attention, love. You can apply that to everything in life. Love is the fuel."

You often talk about your parents as if you want to keep them alive with your words.

"Because my mom and dad are the people I've loved most. With them I shared the most important moments, built the most beautiful memories. That loss is enormous. Life has been really fucking tough since they've been gone.

"That's what grabs me so much in this period. How many people have died of corona in Belgium?"

According to Google, today, on the day of the interview, the counter stands at almost 14,000 deaths.

"Fourteen thousand! Imagine how many people that has an impact on? How many people have suddenly lost their mother, father, brother, sister, best friend or neighbor? Behind those figures lie tens of thousands of poignant stories, of people who see a loved one torn from their lives. That is a mountain of unresolved grief, and far too little attention is paid to it."

Earlier during our conversation a guy had walked past coughing and maskless. It pissed Schoenaerts off: "And whining about masks or strict measures. Grow some fucking balls. Having to say goodbye to a loved one, that's the worst thing."

"Isn't that what this period teaches us? That our time here is limited? And what really counts in life: sharing moments of beauty with the people you hold most dear. All the rest is wallpaper. Having success, making movies, that's all fun. But the day you lie on your deathbed, you really don't think about the professional successes on your resume. No way."

[flowerczennie]

✨⭐️ Happy New Year ⭐️✨

Happy 2021 to everyone ✨ If I was told what was in store for us all in 2020, on this day last year, I would not have believed it all. When we were still in 2020, the thought of previous years felt like an alternate reality, people travelling, moving freely, walking around without masks on and even hugging people, all felt like such an alien concept. But I hope that, one day, we can all look back on the year that has just passed and see that year as the alternate reality instead, even if it remains a bumpy road for a while longer. For me personally, I lost my job completely for six months, lost loved ones amidst the pandemic and like so many of us, my anxiety took complete control of me for a couple of months and I felt completely crippled by the world. Despite all this, I can’t look back on the year with complete heartbreak because I lucked out when I decided to click on one video and completely fall in love with seven men and the world they have created. I could go on about them for days but you all know already, that is why we’re here with these blogs. I know, you know, we all know how much they mean to us and the impact they have made on us this year 💕 But perhaps the most important thing is the amazing people they have brought into my life and I can’t begin to thank them enough for that ✨

~ @hobi-gif Of course I have to start with our Hope, who I have been blessed to know for ten years 💕 Sometimes life happens, and even if you don’t talk for the longest time you’re still following each other, rooting for their happiness and if you’re lucky enough, they will come back into your life and end up making one of the biggest changes. This is what Hope did for me this year, it was within the first week of discovering bts, I saw that she was army via instastories and immediately had to know her bias, I needed a bts friend so much. Not only did Hope provide that but she opened up the bts world to me completely. If you know her, you know how warm, inviting, caring, loving she is and, if she could, she would give you the world. I could go on and ramble in classic Clara style but Hope, I want you to know how much you’ve changed my life this year and how much you mean to me. You’ve listened to my story, brought me into this wonderful bts world, introduced me to so many people and I am endlessly thankful. I have one last word to say to you, “OtsukareEeEeEEEeeeee...” ☺️💕 love you!

~ @snackhobi Miss Joy! 💕 Talking of Hope introducing me to people, the thought that I’ve known Joy for less than three months blows my mind. She truly is one of the most caring, selfless, warm, hardworking and magical people I have had the pleasure to get to know. First and foremost, she is one of the most beautiful souls you will ever meet, inside and out, and I can’t stress that enough. She also happens to have me made me laugh until I cry in the middle of work, been someone who will listen to my rambling when I’m sad or stressed, the most fantastic writer and my fellow Team Kim Seokjin team mate. Joy deserves the world and if could give it to her, I would. Love you, Miss Joy 💕✨

~ @hauntedlilies Melissa 🌸 My fellow brain cell, the Hobi to my Jin, my 2seok partner. The person that holds my hand and screams with me into the void because of our respective biases. I feel like when we’re both flailing, we can depend on each other for a hug and laugh. Not only do we have very similar jobs but I feel like we also create a very similar chaos. She is a genius and to top it off, a phenomenal artist too. One word to describe this friendship: feral.gif. Love you M and I’m so glad I know you 💕✨

~ @yeojaa 💘 Erin is the person who has caused and enabled some of the hardest laughs that I have had this year. Without being introduced to Erin, I wouldn’t have been invited to one of the most welcoming, funny and friendly group of people I’ve have ever met. Erin is also one of the kindest, giving and beautiful souls I have ever encountered. She is my Jungkook girl, Jungkook and Erin are so embedded together in my mind that when Jungkook does anything, she is the first person I think of ☺️ As you all probably know, she also happens to be the most incredible writer, the sweetest person to talk to and someone I’m proud to know. ILY Erin 🐰💕✨

I have followed and discovered some of the loveliest mutuals that I have ever known through this blog, that I have only had for a couple of months now. All of you are not only incredibly talented at what you do but you have also created such a wonderful place to be in on this site. I want to give a shout out to you all as well ⭐️✨

@xjoonchildx - @yeoldontknow - @moonchild-mp3 - @mykrokosmo - @smokyy-mountain-rain - @jintae - @namjoonbaby - @teainthelibrary - @daechwitas - @himbojin - @balenciaguks - @gukfae - @yoongiandthebiaswreckers - @bluengrey - @sketchguk - @flowerkth - @cowboyjinbop - @flowerseok - @sweeterthan-suga - @nvmguk - @taegiseok - @sunshinehobi-07 - @strayyoongii - @telepathygf - @kooseokss - @jimindelune - @ladyartemesia - @minsuga202

If you ever want to talk to me, even if you’re not on this list, my blog is a safe place to all and everyone is welcome, always. I’m always a friend when you need one. I am sending you all wishes of warmth, safety and health in new year and beyond. Like Yoongi, I am rooting for you all ⭐️☺️ lots of love, Clara 💕✨

[dothwrites]

The Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, metas, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

tagged by the incomparable @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover and @friendofcarlotta. Thanks loves. 

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1. ghosts that we knew--Oh man, this fic. I’ve wanted to write it for two years and quarantine finally gave me the uninterrupted time which I craved to do so. I started writing in May and it was a blast to see this fic come into fruition. I also met fantastic people while working on this fic (you know who you are), so it holds an extra special place in my heart. 

2. angel in black--My first try at a gritty fic. It had been sitting in my WIP folder for about six months, and I originally started to post it just to finish it, but I ended up falling in love with it. Not to sound egotistical, but it’s the fic that I get the most pleasure from going back and re-reading, partially because of the witty banter between Dean and Cas. 

3. alone together--My quarantine fic! I started writing this fic on March 14, when I got the news that my job was shutting down. I continued writing it all the way through May, when a lot of the lockdown orders were being lifted. A lot of people commented and told them how this fic made their quarantine better, and that makes it special to me. 

4. thunder road--My post-canon fic that deals with a road trip, Dean and Cas, and Bruce Springsteen. Bruce is pretty near and dear to my heart (I can remember taking a roadtrip to Nashville, TN with my dad to see him that meant that we had to get up at 5am), and combining him with Destiel as well as some pretty fantastic places that I adore was exquisite. 

5. protect and serve--My bodyguard fic! Combines grumpy Cas, sexual tension, action, and witty bantering, which are my favorite things. My first attempt at writing an action fic, and I’m pretty pleased with it. 

6. what stays (and what fades away)--My first Pinefest fic, and my first attempt at trying to be mysterious. Writing dual timelines was hard, but I’m pleased with how it turned out. Also gets slightly Inception-esque towards the end, but you know, that’s what makes it special. Also includes AMAZING art by @skeletonsinzeeclost, who was a delight to work with. 

7. the mafia!au fic--A one-shot that grew legs and then started to sprint away. One day I’ll work this into a real fic, I promise. 

8. the librarian!cas/hunter!dean fic--Another tumblr drabble that has real possibility. I keep on meaning to write it and I keep on getting distracted. But one day. One day. 

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Since i suck at tagging people, you’re ALL welcome to do this. Go nuts. I mean it.