#it was a lot of fun!!!! i would've taken more but the. the game crashed itself and kicked me out LOL

[crest-of-gautier]

accidental mincemeat metalworks photoshoot from today!

[esotheria-sims]

More Simstober extras, again taken for the "Death's Door" prompt. I tend to take a lot of extra pics every time I'm in the game and then feel bad about deleting them, which results in a very cluttered Fraps folder. Posting them is how I deal with my hoarding issues. 🤣

And since this is a behind-the-scenes sorta post, you'll get to hear alllll about my picture-taking process (probably more than you care to know!)

Here are some random fun facts, in no particular order:

The Royal Crypt is a community lot, which means I had to send my sims to visit it in order to take pics. Took quite a few tries before I was able to load the Moonfeather household (crashes, crashes everywhere! -_-)

With photoshoots in general, I usually keep a "test" sim on hand who isn't needed for the photohoot itself, but rather to "work" in the background and perform all the little extra tasks required for the photoshoot (e.g. opening/closing doors, turning the lights on and off, or just being there while all my other sims are frozen with the freezer clock). In this case, my test sim was Marcus, who volunteered for the role all by himself (he flew in on his broom right after the lot loaded). Thank you for your services, Marcus!

I lucked out with Feanor's pose, which is actually just the autonomous "wring hands" idle animation. He looked so miserable doing it that I positively had to use it for the final pics! 🤣

I wanted to have a sim to plop into the coffin, even though I knew they wouldn't be prominent in the final photoshoot. Any random adult sim would've worked, but naaaah, I had to go the extra mile and opt for an actual Moonfeather blood relative. And since the only other Moonfeather I currently have in my game besides Aruena & Feanor is Arwan, who is a toddler... I aged him up so I could use him for my pics. Poor guy. 🫢💀

Just to clarify, Arwan is still a happy little toddler in my game and his untimely demise is NOT canon. I didn't specify who it was that the Moonfeathers were mourning in the OG photoset, so it's totally up to personal interpretation!

[jtshock-devlog]

10/1/2023 Update

Howdy! I made a lot of progress this week regarding developing my room algorithm. I accomplished most of my initial goals. It isn't pretty, but it is functional and that is what matters. There is a lot to be improved, as the way I generate the hallways and similar is not very robust and breaks really easily, which in turn can cause a lot of issues, such as many crashes (seriously, I'm trying to fix the problem since I crash almost every 4th time I try running in debug mode or regenerate the rooms).

As always, here are some cool WIP screenshots during the development this week.

This was the first ever test of actually trying to spawn walls lol! It wasn't long before I managed to get it to actually work!

Godot has been pretty straight forward so far and it really helps that they have native C# support, else this all would've taken a lot longer. After I managed to get 1 room generated, I then implemented the logic for other rooms.

I got a proper algorithm to ensure no rooms would generate on top of each other, and it has worked well so far! Once I knew I could make multiple rooms, I then focused really hard on getting the hallways. I am not 100% happy with how my code works for the paths, as it only really works for L hallways and I already want to try and work on refining the dungeon algorithm before I go super far into developing other mechanics for the game. However, what I have works for now.

The corridors were backwards! This was a headache to fix mainly due to sloppy code. But eventually...

I ironed out a few more cases afterwards, but I had it good enough I wanted to implement spawning in the player/ other actors within the dungeon. It made me really learn how the node system worked in Godot and it actually is very intuitive, I like it a lot. This all culminated in this short video!

And that is where my development is! I am having a lot of fun and really proud I figured out most of this stuff on my own, only looking up some basic stuff or what a function is called.

My current goals are going to mainly comprise of refactoring and cleaning up the room generation and tile placement. But the next big hurdle is figuring out how to handle the Turn-Based combat & updating. Definitely a big goal but I am excited to figure it out! Gonna be busy this week with more schoolwork, but should have plenty of time to keep developing.

[random-meme-bot]

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KWNFCKSFNVIDKTBGNDEN THANKS💜💜💜💜

I'm still using Krita and the same brush, it might be because I used a lot more layers and then adjusted the layers as I went along (?) I genuinely don't know.

It really means a lot knowing that even someone who barely knows about Crash was able to enjoy it!

Their dynamic here is mostly based on Crash Twinsanity as that is the only game I've played with Nina in it (aside from CTR Nitro fueled but that's a racing spin off so it doesn't count), which is why Cortex here is based on his design from that game (and because it's my favorite Crash title)

Crash intead is based more on his more Cartoony interpretation from Crash 4, which is ironically enough the other game where he teams up with Cortex.

Nina is based on a mixture of her design from Nitro Fuled (which is basically a more modern version of her twinsanity one) and the leaked cancelled Nina plans for Rumble

God‚ I'm glad the backgrounds look nice, the sky one wasn't that bad (I literally just made one cloud and copied it multiple times), the worst part with that one was that the color I had originally chosen blended too much with Nina's skin so I darkened it a bit (which in hindsight might be why it fits so well).

But the Cortex Blimp was a bit of a nightmare, every part of that background is a different layer, the balloon, the front chain, the back chain, the shadow, the floor... and thank goodness Krita allows to tilt images in multiple directions because figuring out the right angle for everything would've taken twice as long if it wasn't for that.

The blimp in question is based on the Crash 4 design as mentioned on the tags, and a good thing about this design is that it's designed to serve as a boss arena so the interior has a pretty simple design that was easy to replicate.

Also since you mentioned the robot hand, that design in particular is not from any of the games, instead I made my own taking parts I liked from the "Nitro Fueled" design and the "On the Run"

Also as a fun fact since I don't know when I will actually continue with that, this is my first time drawing both Cortex & Crash, but it's not my first time drawing Nina, basically a few months ago I got really obsessed with the idea of the trio of Nina, Surge & Kit (yes the ones from Sonic), and I genuinely want to do something with Surge & Kit getting into the Academy of Evil, ending up as Nina's roomates and eventually getting adopted into the Cortex family (Trust me there is a lot that could be made from this for both sides of the trio).

So far the only thing I made before I had to stop due to exam season was a drawing of Nina in Surge's Iconic pose and a drawing of Surge similar to a painting of Nina found in her Nitro fueled track…

Which is why Nina is a more defined version of multiple designs while Crash & Cortex are only based on one, because I had already spent time figuring out Nina prior to this one.

My hand slipped...

Originals under the cut

[hatboyproject]

I understand if you don’t want to spoil too much but as the Citadel party is happening before the LI romance scene I suppose Shepard is waking up with Jeff but it is not implied they had sex right? Because that wouldn’t fit him being nervous in his romance scene. But just having both lying next to each other, cuddling would already be perfect :). Will we get more audio from Jeff when the fighting starts? Because normally you hear your LI being worried until they join Shepard. Sorry, I am so curious and I can imagine that this one hell of an effort to do all this.

Generally, the Citadel Party ought to be the last mission you do before the Kai Leng relay thing, if memory serves. The LI romance scene is before storming the Cerberus base which can happen relatively mid-game.

However, you're right that people might play Citadel early.

I'm planning some differences in lines to account for this.

If Shepard and Joker date:

He takes the LI spot in the photo and has some romance things to say during the party. Shepard will wake up with him.

If they date but have not yet had the romance scene:

He thanks her for letting him crash in her bed as the couch would've been hard on his bones. Shepard can be casual about it, saying it's nice to know he doesn't snore, or she can say something really romantic.

If they date and have had the romance scene:

It's... a lot more overt in their dialogue that some fooling around has taken place.

As for combat worries, well... The Tao of Jeff is usually about being blasé in the face of danger to be supportive of her. You'll notice that he only ever seriously drops this during the conversation post-Thessia (which also goes differently if they date.) Jeff always makes a point of talking about when this is over, when Shepard goes and succeeds. He doesn't ever entertain the idea that they won't win, and even corrects Shepard on that when she has doubts.

It's more like him to hide his very real gut-wrenching terror over it all by saying something like "Finally, you're back! What, did you get held up in traffic?" Whilst looking intensely relieved. Or something.

This is why some find him abrasive, I think - they interpret his eternal "You got this" as being flippant or unconcerned. He's basically always trying to be Shepard's unwavering support and showing her he believes in her badassery - fully, loudly, and often.

I'd also like to have Jeff remark on the fact that he always knew Shepard's clone wasn't her, but didn't want to get snapped in half. Jury's still out on him making some comment about how he wishes things would've gone differently because that would've been fun - or something. I feel like he'd say something like that.

[tara-l-blackmore]

"Self", ink on paper; left: original with cropping; right: filtered with cropping.

I drew this during a time of retrospect, during a time in which my mind was just speeding over and over again, over the same crash courses, the same pains and problems, the same, the same, the same.

I am a weak person. This refers both to my mind and my body. My mind has always been week, susceptible to gullibility and overeager trust, but my body's collapse, while eight years in, is difficult for me to come to terms with, because as a child, I lived a life of a rubber ball: always able to bounce back from all I'm thrown against.

But I'm old, now. I don't mean age, anymore, though yes, it's up there. My body is old. Illness has aged it. I cannot reverse how badly my body has been damaged; it's permanent til death.

It's hard to accept this, as someone used to physical freedom for the first 26 years of their life. But here I am, and this is the way it is:

This pain is permanent, and it will likely kill me.

I'm not certain how. I want it to be natural causes. But sometimes, when I'm in the darkest of places, the worst aspects of my mind and soul, I yearn to give up, to stop feeling, to just go black, to make it all stop.

I've come close. Since Nim died, it's been a daily struggle, one that has eased with time and support, but one that is, like pain and depression, permanent.

It's ironic, in a way. As a child, I never thought to take care of myself. I never thought to be amazed by how resilient I was. Instead, I just kept pushing the limits, doing too much, and it feels like, by doing that, I've sapped my lifeforce dry. I don't have any to spare, because I spent it all as a child.

It would be fine, if that childhood was phenomenal. But sadly, those moments of wasted life weren't always my fault; in truth, there were countless times in which I would have to use that life to save it, in turn draining it.

Irony is never lost on me.

I'm not intelligent. I can string words together pretty well, and bullshit the rest, but I'm not a smart person. At best, I'm mediocre. At worst, I'm a buffoon.

As such, I can never truly ascertain why people react toward me like they do. The default is hatred; the rarest is friendship; the best is family.

However.

I'm too clingy. When I make friends with a person, I attach to them like a barnacle. But it's the kind that saps a person dry, of patience and kindness and love, because I need attention. I need affirmation. I need constant reassurance.

Because I'm so used to not being what kind people say I am. I'm used to being told I'm everything but worth anything.

But being too clingy means I tire people out. People are easily exhausted around me, and soon discover that what I give is not worth what they give me in return.

I've lost a lot of friends over the years, a lot of people I would've died for, without realising that I drained them dry, and without realising that I was no longer the person they thought I was.

When people see my true self, they leave. 7/10 times, they leave. Sometimes it takes more time than usual, sometimes it even takes years, but they leave. They leave, because they see that the charm I put on, the cheerful facade of fun and games, is real, but not real enough, and not enough to make me fun, anymore, amidst the rest of the bullshit that exists within me.

Over the past year, I've lost several people in my life for the above reason, people who shocked me by leaving. Their reasons were either good or stupid, but they were not the real reasons. I know the real reasons, and I wish they'd just been honest with me, and confirmed it, instead of lied to me, and hurt me even more.

I hate lies. I hate being lied to. Honesty is the most important thing to me, and it's something I take seriously. If I lie, it's either so minute it's inconsequential, or I don't know it's a lie and have been misinformed.

But I get lied to a lot. I never knew why, until I just wrote this out.

People lie to me because they can't stand me, and it's the only way to keep me away, because I keep clinging way too fucking hard. So they lie. Then they ignore. Then they ditch. Sometimes they go so far as to demonise me.

It's my fault; I'm too stupid and too trusting, too clingy and too pushy, too nosy and too open. I scare people away, because when I trust them, I show them all of myself.

And that scares most people away. Because there is ugliness in me (not just on the outside, durrhurr, fuck you), and it's too much.

And... I get that. I totally get that. I am too much. I am too pushy, too needy, too nosy.

I'm too lonely...

That's my problem. My loneliness makes me desperate, and I come on to strong, yearning for someone to please, please, please, treat me kindly, be my friend, accept my care and maybe my love (always familial/friendly). I'm so lonely that I refuse to see the red flags in front of me, warning me away from people who will break me.

Except... the people who break me are the people I love, sometimes the most. And that's when I fall.

It's hard to be this sick, and to have to also constantly sew my heart back up, again. It's... draining. It's... lethal.

It hurts.

I don't know why I wrote this. I guess to explain my distance, here, as well as in general. People have been reaching out to me, especially when I ask, but I flee, because all I can see is the inevitable heartbreak.

I know nothing is permanent in life. That's the nature of life. That's what makes it so precious, so fleeting, so... good, and so bad.

And I just want to live my life happily. It's taken years to admit it, but I'm not a lone wolf type. I'm not happiest by myself.

I love people. I love friends and family.

I love to love.

And I guess that's why I'm always fucking everything up. And why I drew this picture.

Sorry...