#it was a lot more like avoiding doing it
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its 2am i hVe sch ar 7am god ley me sleep im begging u
#I WAS TIRED WHEN I WAS TRYING TO#Well i cant say i was trying to do work#it was a lot more like avoiding doing it#regardless i felt sleeppy then#im not sleepy now >:(#fuckfyckfuck pls lry mr sleep#im going to get ogf tumblr and sleep yeah#ive got thid baby yeah ive got this#nkt really but fuck bro
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??
He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.
Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#chimmy changa#asks#raven with a pocketwatch#itty bitties fop au#tw parental neglect#<- ask to tag#using the neighborhood gossip is a very good way to reign in your son when he gets too cocky or proud for your liking.#but its also a good way to boost your social standing!! wow!! the joys of reaping the rewards from someone else's hard work!#by contrast mrs. turner doesnt mention his successes to her friends#which timmy does appreciate somewhat but she also doesnt really. give him much of anything.#so.#cant really tell whats worse. the oversharing or the ignoring.#timmy's parents hosts a LOT of events at their house#so he's usually juggling like. hundreds of tasks at once.#he has to get the drinks the plates the food the clean up watch the kids get more drinks respond to his dad's calls handle 3 conversations#prevent his mom from offering him to clean her friends yards stop that kid from spilling ketchup over the grass catch the loose dog#get more drinks for his dad watch the grill avoid the aunt's mlm scheme pitches reject the neighbor's pitch for a potential girlfriend-#all while picking up work calls and scheduling office hours and fixing his coworkers' mistakes and emailing clients and and-#....which is all to say that timmy does most of the hosting. while his parents partake in the celebrating and partying.#man. you'd think doing this for 20 years you'd be able to handle stress
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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SCOURGE SUNDAY 010/???
classic
#scourge wc#warriors#warrior cats#scourge warriors#wc scourge#scourge#scourge warrior cats#bloodclan#scourge sunday#<--just now realizing i should be tagging these LOL#anywayz in honor of getting 2 double digitz i thought it would be fun to redraw the scourge from my first like. Big Post#shout out 2 thos who hav been here long enough to reconize him#off topic but i figured a style of doing skullz tht ive been having a lot of fun w/#bcuz i find weeding vinyl stickerz rly fun n needed more designz so i would hav excusez 2 cut thm out LMAO#my fave is the horse skull#honestly i should probz post my like physical object craftz2 more thn just instgram im just bad at taking picz#n the insta is 4 like. irl shit like marketz n stuff#ive got a market on the 25th actually pretty pumped ive got a lot of neat stuffz#if u liv in/near calgary alberta u can come say haiii#not a very wc heavy table of course i try 2 avoid making 2 much fanart merch. but. i did use the older halloween scourge 2 make a patch heh#need 2 remake the stencil 4 tht actually now tht i hav a proper heatpress ive discovered tht the red ink kinda brightenz#n showz thru the white so i can hav it be just a big undershape anymore trusting the white 2 fully cover the issuez LOL#ok ive gotten way 2 off topic n this is entirely 2 many wordz. enjoy this scourge
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This is me putting out a desperate plea for someone to write BuckTommy mpreg with Tommy instead.
Please. I’m begging someone to break up the monotony of my dash. I don’t have time to do it all myself.
#I love that people are writing what they want#but I don’t see Buck like that in this relationship and I’m tired of him always being assigned the role#it goes back to a lot of issues I have with how the fandom perceives Buck#and there’s no tag for me to avoid unless I blocked the whole mpreg tag#which I don’t wanna do#I write omegaverse and mpreg#I don’t wanna have to block it because of one character#I’m just begging for things to be balanced#or tagged more specifically#vent post#tk6 vents#911 abc#911 show#9-1-1#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#mpreg#how about#Evan Buckley mpreg#and#Tommy Kinard mpreg#as tags#again this is no hate to anyone and I love that people are writing what they want
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And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....
Oh yes he would!
One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014
GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017
In fact he already has ☺️
#asoiaf#jon snow#yes grrm has criticized neo-tolkein fantasy - a lot!#but like....dpmo#I need so many people in this godforsaken fandom to familiarize themselves with grrm's engagement with the genre#he isn't trying to say “chosen one boy protagonist bad” where tf did people get that???#he's directly trying to challenge the more unsatisfactory elements of lesser copies of tolkien's legendarium#the ones that lift lotr wholesale without actually understanding what makes tolkien's writing snap#at the same time he has admitted himself that he has borrowed from lotr albeit with his own twists#but people in this fandom need to know that ye old man LOVES sword-and-sorcery fantasy#he LOVES a good epic#he LOVES pulp fantasy and sci fi#and those inspirations are directly reflected in asoiaf#the way he's named arthuriana/lotr/MST and many pulp stories with brooding dark heroes as key inspirations#almost all of which have mcs who fall into the typical fantasy hero role#and they inspire elements that are reflected back onto jon more than anyone else in asoiaf#like seoman snowlock = jon (+bran)#frodo - who btw is the mc in lotr not aragorn!! = jon (and bran)#FUCKING KING ARTHUR IS JON SO MUCH SO THAT RLJ IS LITERALLY A 1:1 COPY OF ARTHUR'S BIRTH STORY LIKE??!!!!#anyone who's even a little bit familiar with le morte d'arthur will be like oh yeah jon is literally king arthur like 😭😭#same with anyone who's ready the once and future king - which grrm has directly identified as his fav take on arthurian lit#ntm that jon is based on some of the most prolific characters in arthuriana - percival/galahad/lancelot etc#did you know that there's an iconic sci-fi series whose main character is called Eric JOHN STARK?#well grrm has directly quoted that series and the mc as a foundational book in his life#funny that huh? 🙂#do people even know what tf they're talking about when they say stuff like this???? ajdhhjshsbvshja#grrm engages very heavily with traditional fantasy tropes but he of course provides his own spin on them#never has he said that he's trying to avoid stories with hidden princes or chosen ones as boy protagonists#like someone find me a direct quote of him saying that - but I bet you can't smh
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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i know i don’t usually sadpost on main, this blog is my silly little play place and i hate to kill the vibe, but. i dunno. i’m just having a really tough few days.
it’s difficult to go into detail, mostly because the way it happened was so complicated and confusing, but last night my mother rejected me for being trans. pretty harshly. i wasn’t even coming out, i officially came out for the first time in middle school, this wasn’t news, but she pretended it was, and went back on every single previous conversation and bit of progress.
i already wasn’t in a great place. it’s been a really difficult year for my mental health, and i’m struggling a lot with my senior year of college. obviously the election was a gut punch. so i just feel like i’ve been kicked while i’m down.
i’m not even totally sure why i’m posting this. i guess it just feels better to air it. i’m having such a hard time processing it, it’s like i just have to keep repeating it out loud. sorry for that.
i don’t know. i��ll try to get back to goofing around soon. i like having fun with you guys and i don’t want to just wallow in how bad this feels, so hopefully we can get back to sillier posts tomorrow, but. yeah. i guess if anyone’s been wondering how i’m doing, that’s just my update
#vent#<- that feels like such a dramatic tag but i just want people to be able to filter#i know a lot of us feel bad right now. so i don’t want to add to it#but i just had to sneak in through my own side door to avoid her so i’m feeling pretty bad right now#i do mean it about wanting to get back to more lighthearted posts. i need the cheering up#but i just needed a minute to be sad. just for one minute#i really just don’t understand why this happened
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Don't get too attached
#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due#to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she#had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid#suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit#to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play#his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I#had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides#Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again#brakul red dog
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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*slips another kunsel into your pocket*
#thinking about the public image of SOLDIER.#a thing to be revered and feared#a lot of npcs in the games recognize those mako eyes. but it's also implied that SOLDIERs aren't the only ones that have them?#mako junkies apparently have the same look. you'd figure they would be way more common#would that affect the way people view SOLDIERs? what goes through their minds when they see the eyes?#invariably it's taken as a sign of someone dangerous and unpredictable. sort of an unspoken cultural thing.#i wonder what new SOLDIERs think when they look in a mirror for the first time and see what's changed.#do they mourn their past selves? do they reflexively fear what they have become?#maybe for some of them that twinge of fear never really goes away even with time.#confident killers who avoid their own reflection like the plague.#even learn to avoid bad reactions other people might have. even if it means never showing your face to anyone for the rest of your life...#someone who is already barely perceived as human by human standards#sowing even more distrust in his kind.....#ffvii#kunsel#my art <3#phew. got that one out of my system
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a terrible side-effect of the higher-than-normal population of Friends of The Computer in Seattle is that people just don't make eye contact. You go anywhere else in America and people will occasionally make eye contact with you. They will be looking around and will look at you and it's no big deal if you happen to briefly look at each other. NOT SO IN SEATTLE. People AVOID a follow-on effect of this side-effect is that people almost never ever ever just say things to each other as they pass by or whatever unless it's to harass someone
#thanks I hate quite a lot about the culture here#seattle sucks#seattle#my blog#I went to Las Vegas last summer and at a bookstore I was approached by three separate people who wanted to say something about the books#that I was carrying - That is more in one bookstore visit than has ever happened in my entire time in Seattle#People here AVOID AVOID AVOID#The only hope in all this is that the people that do want to talk and itneract are doing that but sadly it's not spread out across the city#so when you find a professional circle or an activity group (running is a big one) where people do like chatting - then it'll be better
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i know it's late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN GODBY
#warren godby#red valley podcast#red valley#Warren Godby the man that you are#Casually s*icidal middle aged/retirement age man who has 0 conflict resolution skills#a tendency towards violence#A love of retro games#And the diet of a toddler#Horrendously dysfunctional elder millennial with brain damage who is in love with his best friend#Popsicle man who'd rather not deal with it right now thank you#He can eat so much ice cream and never get a brain freeze#Captain shit#Somehow managed to land an incredibly intelligent and well adjusted wife oh wait nevermind#Is pretty sure tortoises will never love you back#Is he neurodivergent or is it just the trauma + brain damage#The most horrendously avoidant man of all time#Needs a lot more therapy than he ever ended up getting#Like if the frozen feeder eats you find in a pet store were also lab rats#Guinea pig of all time#Semi-willing recipient of evil science experimentation#Ok I think I'm done#I do love him
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I don't think anything will ever be funnier than Banesaw's first of his only two sentences being, "Finally, I get to kill a Schnee," knocking Weiss unconscious in a single hit, then just chucking her into the next room so Blake can save her
#rwde#forever giggling and exasperated by this train sequence#this could have been avoided if it had been BLAKE fighting Banesaw and far more interesting too#they (presumably) had HISTORY. HE WANTED TO DRAG HER BACK INTO THE FOLD. THIS COULDVE BEEN PERSONAL#and literally NOTHING came out of a white fang member meeting a schnee so what was the FUCKING POINT SHAWLUNA#YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY#also im like 99% sure banesaw is just yatsuhashis model w a mask#anyway wtf was that train plot eh? was the purpose solely to cause chaos and destruction? wtf was the goal?#seriously early rwby schemes feel so random. reminds me of mcu thanos oddly enough#the way both cinder and thanos bip bopped between destruction for destructions sake and Big Smart Plan with Big Purpose is uh. Bad#and for the exact same reason: there was no structure or forethought in the writing process#also both were written by shitty men. i will fight the russos in a parking lot with nothing but my teeth#they absolutely shouldve been fired after civil war. absolute dogshit#do not ask me abt my mcu opinions i will never stop screaming#edit: forgot banesaw opened for roman at the white fang recruitment meeting so he has FIVE lines not two#two out of five lines are abt members of rwby yet neither amt to anything. yeehaw
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on being 30.
my birthday is this weekend and i don't really know how much free time i'll have to spend on here, so i did want to poke on here and at least say something - thank you for another year together, whether we've just met or have known each other for ages, i genuinely appreciate being able to spend another year on this website with so many great folks, sincerely - i appreciate every dm, every image, it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.
i've sort of touched on before on how 2024 has been a sort of a slump for a year for me - i've always sort of battled with self doubt and self loathing and just for some reason this year, it seems to just keep coming back and i hate that i actually doubt and question myself - if there's still a place for me here and when i get in my own head like this i really isolate myself and try to just deal with it in private because i don't like being a downer so if you have noticed me not exactly being the most responsive or talkative lately, that’s why - i’m not angry with anyone, i’m not trying to be cold with anyone - going back into my shell is just what I do and how I cope, it always has been, i don't even like writing this. and to make this clear, this is a me problem - not an anyone else problem, period - this isn't a vague or to point fingers, the issue is with me.
i think what sort of prompted this was seeing a lot of people open up about their own feelings and insecurities and I get the sense that 2024 hasn’t exactly been a great year for a lot of people either and my mindset has always been so long as it's not being passive aggressive or directing the blame at others, i honestly think it's good to have an outlet to just say how you're feeling once in a while - how else will people know what you're struggling with? of course what they choose to divulge is up to them and no one has to divulge if they don't want to, we're all just here for rp and for fun but i think sort of seeing others also struggling with having a crappy year and seeming to be in similar slumps was what really prompted me to write this. i hope it's just down to 2024 being a cursed year or something, lol.
like i said, i do genuinely appreciate all of you - i think more than anything else, more than rp or writing, the people are what keeps me coming back to tumblr - getting to write with and meet so many different writers from across the world (and possibly even talk with some of them and hang out with them??) is honestly a privilege and honour and even if i may not respond right away, please just know i appreciate every interaction, every message, every person. thank you all for being a part of my tumblr experience for another year and for already getting this birthday off to a lovely start. take care of yourselves.
#i'll leave this under a read more#so people can scroll past it if they want to#i hope i articulated myself okay#and i hope you all look after yourselves and be good to yourselves#love you all and hope to be on later.#and I really did try and stress in the post#I’ve always personally been apprehensive about negative/venting posts because it’s very easy for them to come off as passive aggressive#or like they’re blaming others even if they don’t mean to#and I tried to avoid doing that#it’s just been a rough go of it mentally for me and any issues are with me#I just saw a lot of others open up about 2024 being a sort of crummy year for them mentally#and these are my two cents.
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