#it was a bad platform like. Objectively. but it was also so fun and so special okay.

[dropthecop]

feeling so wistful for the wof forums today... does anyone out there have like screenshots or archived threads or anything they'd be willing to share? i know internet archive has some but most of it seems to just be all the threads people were making when they realized the forums were about to be deleted and i am desperate to see some of the other stuff... fwrps or home threads or forumfics or anything you've got honestly

[monzabee]

this is a relationship, that i don’t think anyone saw coming  – cl16

masterlist

Summary: The one where you and Charles think you are successfully fooling everyone on the grid, when in reality you are the ones being fooled.

Pairing: charles leclerc x merc!driver!reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: cursing, kissing, hiding a relationship (and doing it very badly), smut elements! (in one of the scenes, nothing penetrative), idiots to lovers, sexism and racism in motorsports, pop culture references (bad and many of them).

Request: “Hello! Can I request a charles leclerc imagine where the reader is a f1 driver and they try to hide their relationship from the paddock, but everyone knows and in the end they just reveal it. Thanks xx” + “this is not a request, but, can you use a dialogue from one of your favourite tv shows/series?”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! the title comes from an episode of the kardashians, but it was very popular on tiktok for a while so here you go! the request for this one was so good, and i had so much fun writing this, so i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i do. the dialogue i used for the second request/promt is from season 1 episode 9 of suits, which is one of my absolute favourite tv series of all time (even though it has too many legal inaccuracies), and you can watch the scene from here. ALSO, because i can never choose one, i decided to use another dialogue from season 1 episode 18 of gilmore girls, and i think it is the best piece of television ever written, and you can watch it from here. there are a bunch of pop culture references in there, so if you can spot them, you are a star! thank you anons for your requests, and i hope you guys enjoy this one! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Charles is not stupid, in fact, he prides himself in being smart. However, as one of his best friends are looking at him with an unamused glare, he suddenly fears that he might have been stupid when he was getting ready before arriving at the venue for the party tonight.

“You are not dressed,” Pierre drawls, “What are you wearing?”

“A suit?” Charles asks, confused as he looks at his friend’s attire. “What are you wearing?” 

Pierre points to the outfit he’s wearing, which consists of brown pants with a linen shirt and a brown vest thrown over it, an annoyed look washes over his face as he explains, “I’m Indiana Jones, this is a costume party, Charles.” 

“Why would you have a costume party when you’re turning 27?” Charles’ face scrunches up in even more confusion. 

“Because it’s fun, and it’s my birthday.” Pierre rolls his eyes, “We have to do something about it; Kika, I need help!” He calls out to her girlfriend, who rushes into the room in a white dress and a very voluminous blonde wig. 

“What’s wrong?” Kika asks, her eyes falling on Charles’ outfits as she groans disappointedly, “Who are you supposed to be?” 

“I didn’t know!” Charles argues. 

“Mate,” Pierre objects, “it was on the invitation; ‘Hollywood Icons’?” 

“We can fix this,” Kika tries to offer Charles a supportive smile. ��You could be… Patrick Bateman?” 

Charles’ eyes widen with shock, “From ‘American Psycho’?”

“Morbid, Kiks,” Pierre shakes his head. 

Kika shrugs, “He’s hot. What about Brad Pitt in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’?”

“Does he even wear a suit in that one?” Pierre asks, still shaking his head in thought. 

Kika lets out a loud groan, “James Bond!”

“That could work–” Charles start saying at the same time Pierre objects, “The suit is not sharp enough.” 

“Then give him a tie, Pierre.” Kika frowns. “God, the two of you are like children, not even the girls had this much trouble, and the two of us almost matched.” 

You’re shivering when you finally arrive at the venue thanks to the thin trench coat thrown over your costume. You link your arm with Lily, who is holding Alex’s hand and the two of them are dressed up as Jack and Rose. “Why are we doing this, again?”

“Because we like Pierre, he is nice.” Lily turns to Alex to let him fix her ginger wig for her as she replies to you.

“I don’t know, I think I want to go back to the hotel.” You mumble, your hands nervously playing with the belt of your coat. 

“Just give it a try, Y/N,” Alex smiles at you. “We’ll take you back if you’re still feeling nervous.” 

You nod your head with a sigh as you let Lily pull you in towards the entrance of the apartment building. You’re too busy admiring the Italian architecture when you hear a squeal. “You guys made it!” Alex excuses himself to go greet some of the other drivers and you smile at Kika as she pulls you and Lily in for a hug at the same time as she chants, “I’m dying to see your guys’ costumes, show me, show me!”

You laugh softly as you take of your coat, pulling gasps from both of the girls looking over your outfit. “You both knew what my costume was going to be!” You whine, holding your coat close to your body. 

“I didn’t know it was going to be –” Lily starts, looking at Kika for help. 

“Tight,” Kika clears her throat, “it’s very tight, and your body looks amazing!” 

“You’re literally a model, Kiks,” you mumble, “can we please focus on Lily and how historically accurate her costume is? Not to mention yours, I mean, Marilyn?”

“You look amazing, Lily.” Kika agrees, giving her a warm smile. “And thank you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Kika,” she turns to you, “thank you, Y/N. I’m going to find Alex, meet you at the bar?” 

“Sure, see you.” You tell her, smiling as she starts to walk towards the crowd. 

“Let me take your coat,” Kika leans over you. “You should grab a drink before more people arrive, Pierre made sure to invite half of the city, it seems like.” 

You thank her before she leaves to hang your coat, taking a deep breath as you start moving between dancing people, some of whom greet you as you make your way towards the bar. You give the bar tender a tight smile as you order yourself a gin and tonic, strawberry, of course. The first thing Charles notices about you is your hair, having memorised all the different tones mixed between your locks. His eyes travels down your body, his eyes linger particularly on your dress; the white bodice is connected to the tie dye skirt by a metal circle, and it is oh so tight, accentuating all your curves in the best way possible. His legs start to move towards you in their own volition when his eyes reach the leather thigh-high boots, his voice is thick as he approach you from your right. “Y/N.” 

You look at him with your lips parted in shock, your voice coming out in a low breath. “Charles, you’re here.” You let him take one of your hands into his as you lock eyes with him. “I thought you were going to be in Monaco.” 

“I was already in Italy for the car testing.” He explains, his fingers gently caress your inner wrist. “I’ve missed you. Were you back at home?” 

“I’ve missed you too,” a smile takes over your face, “yes, I’m trying to get used to changing cities.” 

“I’ll give you a private tour when we go back.” He offers, eliciting a giggle from you as you reach for your drink and take a sip from the straw. His breath hitches for a moment when he focuses too much on the way your red-painted lips close around the plastic, but he’s quick to shake it off. “Did you see the pictures on Twitter?”

“The ones with Frédéric?” You ask him and he nods in return. The pictures he is referring to being his new team principle giving your four-year-old niece some daisies. There is a teasing smile on your lips as you say, “Don’t worry, Charles, I’m not coming for a Ferrari seat. He was just giving Cecily some flowers when we were passing by.” 

“I wish you would’ve brought her into the garage, I’ve missed her.” The pout he’s sporting lets you know that he is being genuine and not putting on a show for your attention. 

“You know I couldn’t, I had to get back to my own garage before the race.” The emphasis you use makes him roll his eyes as his fingers occupy themselves with the stacked bracelets on your wrist. “Who are you supposed to be, anyway?”

“James Bond.” He replies in an unattached voice, exhaling a deep breath. “I didn’t realise it was a costume party.”

“Charles,” you laugh, head tilted to the side as you keep holding his gaze, “it was on the invitation, darling.” 

He groans, “I know that, now. Pierre was not impressed when I first showed up.”

“I can imagine.” You agree in a sympathetic voice. “Maybe we should’ve thought of something before you left last week.”

“Oh, yeah, like what? Vivian?” He smirks, his eyes going over your body once more, but without any shame this time. “Do you have any idea how great you look?”

“It was the last movie we watched.” You shrug, a coy smile on your lips. “Maybe you could’ve been a ballerina, like Natalie Portman, in ‘Black Swan’.” 

He lets out a hearty laugh. “Oh please, you know how good my legs would look in tights compared to yours.” 

“Oh, chéri,” You tut, stepping closer to him as you rake your fingers down on his tie. “You couldn’t if you tried.”

“I would crush you.” He challenges as he lifts an eyebrow.

You shake your head. “You wouldn’t touch me.” 

“Why not?” He asks, amused. 

You shrug in a nonchalant manner. “Because you'd be too busy staring at me in tights.” 

“No I wouldn’t,” Charles argues, shaking his head slightly. 

“You’re doing it right now.” You sing in a light voice. 

“You’re not wearing any.” He points out, his hands moving to rest on the bare skin of your waist, curtesy of the cut-outs your dress provides. 

You tug on his tie to draw him closer to you, his lips lingering near his ear as you whisper, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He is left speechless when you let him go, grab your drink and start walking towards your teammate, making sure to add an extra sway to your hips because you know Charles is watching you to confirm what you’ve just told him. 

You have a secret, and it’s big – big, huge. And it has something to do with the Monegasque laying beneath you. Charles talks about the last few days he spent at the Ferrari factory as you listen to him, your eyes focused on the way his face moves through various expressions when he talks about the car. Your chin is placed on your hands which are placed together on his chest, giving you the perfect view of his face. His fingers are moving on the bare skin on your back, the white bed sheet pulled up only enough to cover the globe of your ass. Although you try your best to keep up with his stream of consciousness, humming where accurate and asking him questions here and there, but Charles can see the sleepy look in your eyes through your hooded eyes. 

“Are you okay, mon soleil?” He asks, his chest rumbling with his voice underneath your hands. 

“Sleepy,” you mumble, leaning up against him to bury your face against the side of his neck, “you’re warm, though.” 

He pulls the sheet up your body; interpreting the way you shiver as you being cold, when the actual reason is the pleasure the skin to skin contact brings. “You can go back to sleep; we still have some time.” The incoherent mumbles leaving your lips makes him chuckle, which in return makes you smile against him. Your fingers trace over the edge of his five o’clock shadow, and you suddenly find yourself thanking whatever deity is up there that he forgot to shave because of all the commotion of travelling over the past few days. “What did you just say?”

“It’s just funny that you tell me I should sleep after you’ve kept me up the entire night, darling.” Your breathy chuckle hits the side of his neck as he lets out a chuckle of his own. 

“I didn’t hear you complaining at any point,” he raises one of  his brows, earning him a pat against his chest and you making yourself rise enough to glare at him. 

You try your best to frown at him, locking your gaze with his, as you can feel the heat starting to rise up to your face at the mention of your not so innocent activities of last night. “You’re incorrigible, Charles.” 

“Oh, chérie,” he coos, brushing the pad of his thumb over the swell of your cupids-bow. You’re about to give in and give him a kiss when he rises up, himself, with a frown and you in his arms. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask in a worried voice, following his line of vision to your closed bedroom door. 

“Does anyone else have your keys?” Charles asks, “I heard the front door open–”

Your eyes widen as you scramble to get off him, pulling the sheet up to cover your nakedness. “Charles, hide!” You hiss, while trying to force him to move. 

“Y/N?” You hear your assistant, Margo, yell through the house. “I got those thermal things you wanted!” 

“One second, please!” You call back to her, looking at Charles with pleading eyes. Thankfully, he manages to hide underneath the sheets just before Margo barges into the room. Even more luckily, the duvet over the sheets ends up hiding his body seamlessly. “Hi, Margo.” You give her the best smile you can muster up under the situation, your hand still clutching the bedsheet on your chest with enough force to make your hand hurt. 

“Oh my god, are you naked under there?” Margo babbles, a light blush covering her cheeks. “Since when do you sleep naked?”

“Um… I heard it’s good for your circulation?” You answer her in an unsure voice, causing Charles to tighten his hands on your thighs in warning, you have no idea how he managed to squeeze between them in the first place. “Thank you for the thermals, you’re an angel.”

“N-no problem.” She smiles at you nervously, obviously stressed because of the lack of clothes on your body for the sake of professionalism. “Toto wanted me to tell you that he is meeting up with Lewis for lunch later and asked me to ask you to join them if you were free.” 

“Sure, do you know wh-when?” You stutter during the last word, feeling Charles’ fingers and breath coming closer to your center. 

Margo checks her watch, then looks back up at you. “Around three, at that Italian place the team went out for dinner the last time.” 

You nod in acknowledgement as you try the remember the exact location of the restaurant she mentioned, gasping because Charles decides to give your clit a little lick before taking it between his lips to gently suck on it. “I’ll be there!” You rush out, hands gripping the white sheet even tighter. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Margo asks while eyeing you up with worry, “Should I take you to a doctor, or something?” 

“Oh no, I’m fine, honey.” You wave her off with a nervous chuckle. “I think it’s all in your – head!”

“Um.. okay. I’ll see you later, then.” Margo mumbles as she leaves your room with red cheeks. 

You throw your head back in a groan over the awkward encounter, waiting until hearing the front door open and close before pulling the sheets back and glaring at the man between your thighs, who still has his mouth on you, by the way. “You are evil, Charles, pure evil! What were you thinking?” 

He draws back slightly to raise a questioning brow. “Do you want me to stop?” However, he resumes his torture when you don’t answer him, looking up at you while grinning like the devil himself as he murmurs into your skin, “That’s what I thought.”

It’s hard, being a woman in the motorsport world, and especially in F1. While some may say it’s unprecedented, and you’d agree, you also think there’s going to be misogynistic pigs in any sector you might end up working in, so why not have some fun? The article comes out the day before the race, right before the qualifying session. You’re not the one to check your phone before going on track, but an urge to do so pokes at you when you realise people are giving you worried looks in the Mercedes garage. Your jaw tightens as you read through the article, fingers tightening around your phone as you read every single sexist comment being made about the way you dress, talk, and your entire F1 career and accomplishments being discredited just because of your gender. You’re absolutely fuming as you throw your phone onto the couch in your driver’s room and grab your helmet and balaclava as you walk briskly towards the garage. 

Both Toto and Lewis look at you with surprised, but worried, looks as you announce, “Make me go out first.”

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Toto asks, sharing a worried glance with Lewis. “You usually wait for a while for other people to–.” 

“No, I’m sure.” You tug on your balaclava as you add, “Make sure I’m on softs, please.” 

The two men watch you walk off towards your car, Lewis mumbling, “Hell hath no fury like the woman scorned.” The Austrian turns to him, eyebrows raised, which causes him to roll his eyes. “Yes, Toto, I read.”

You’re a force to be reckoned with on track during qualifying. Although having not the best start to the season, you push your Mercedes to its absolute limits, managing to outpace even the Red Bulls, and constantly asking your engineer for another lap until Toto has to ask you to retire for the day – in long story short, you are the pole sitter for the Sunday’s race. There are four people waiting for you when you get out of your car, those four people being: Toto, Susie, Lewis and Mick – though you’re pretty sure the latter was dragged into this intervention because you’re usually unable to get angry next to the reserve driver. 

“You were reckless out there, Y/N.” Toto frowns, crossing his arms over his chest (Mick copies his actions, nodding, as he does his best to give you a stern look). 

“I drove the best I have in over a year,” you argue, “we are starting on P1 tomorrow because of my driving today.” 

“I don’t care if we start P20, you know you shouldn’t have gone out there that angry!” Susie places a pacifying hand on your team principle’s arm when his voice gets higher. 

“We know you were angry about the article,” Lewis starts, but you cut him off as you grumble,

“A very astute conversation, Lewis.” You snap, not allowing him to continue as you begin ranting, “He called me a ‘Malibu Barbie’, and suggested that I should find another career, do you know how disheartening that is?”

“They called me Ken once,” Mick mumbles with a small pout on his lips, quickly mumbling “sorry,” when you give him a scathing look. 

“There will always be journalists who are against you and me,” Lewis goes on to remind you, “I told that before you signed, and before your first race.” 

“I know, but–” You stop to swallow down a sob, tilting your head back to delay the tears which are threatening to come out. “They implied that I’ve slept my way up to where I am today,” you inhale a deep breath as your voice wavers, “I’m so tired of my accomplishments being reduced to this.” 

“Men will always be afraid of women who have the ability to be better at their jobs than they are,” Susie smiles softly at you – soft, but not pitiful, you realise. “It doesn’t mean that we should give up, it means that we do our best to make sure they are proved wrong.” 

“You could’ve hurt yourself and others today,” Toto shakes his head, “you almost collided with both of the Ferraris.” 

Your entire break pauses at the mention of the red cars, mind quickly drifting to the owner of the eyes you love looking into, but you’re quick to snap yourself out, “Are they okay?”

“Both Carlos and Charles are fine,” Susie assures you.

“No more reckless driving,” Toto points a finger at you and then to Lewis, who raises his arms in surrender. “I mean it.” He pats you on the back before leaving, whispering a quick, “Good job today, kiddo.” 

“Why do I get in trouble because of you?” Lewis wonders aloud, his hands on his hips. 

“We haven’t been teammates for that long, Lewis.” You squint your eyes. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Mick asks with a concerned look on his face. 

You nod in thought, pointed to both of them. “I will be, but I need both of your help.” 

Mick gulps, voice tentative as he asks, “We’re not doing anything illegal, are we?”

After you’re done explaining your plan to your teammates, you say goodbye to both of them and make your way towards your driver’s room. Charles gets up, quickly, from the couch as you enter, shocked expressions on both of your faces. “H-how did you get in here?”

“I had to sneak in through the back,” he explains as he gets closer to you, hands quickly cup your cheek for his thumbs to swipe under your eyes. “Chérie, did you cry?”

“I- no!” You shake your head as you try to get him off. “I’m just- ugh, I’m just so angry!”

He lets you rant in his arms, eventually giving in and shedding a few tears of frustration, but he doesn’t comment until you’re done with your thoughts, and when he does comment, it is not to undermine your feelings. He takes you back to the hotel, and before the two of you leave your garage, he sneaks a soft kiss on your lips which has you melting in his arms. Unbeknown to you, Susie, Toto and Lewis watch the interaction from the other end of the corridor, with the latter murmuring, “Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” Lewis gives Toto a side-eye as the team principle looks at him with the same surprised look from before, “For the last time, man, I read!”

All the eyes in the car are on you, the next morning when you, Mick and Lewis arrive to the track in the same car. “You ready to leave?” Lewis asks you, looking at you from the rear-view mirror from the passenger seat; Mick drove to the track instead of you because you told them both there was no way you were driving with the heels you wore today. 

“It’s now or never,” you mutter, subconsciously fixing your hair.

“Give them hell.” Mick turns back to smile at you, and you give him a nervous smile as you exit the car. 

A few people around the entrance turn to give you funny looks, you reply to some of them by offering a thin-lipped smile. The real show starts when you finally enter the racing grounds, photographers turning to snap a picture of you when they realise it’s actually you. You plaster on a plastic smile, waving at them as you do your absolute best to walk in the 6-inch heels which were definitely not the brightest idea you’ve ever had.

“Hi, Barbie!” A similar voice calls out to you, and you smile genuinely for the first time as you call back. ,

“Hi, Ken!” You turn towards Pierre, pushing your sunglasses up towards your hair as you watch the Frenchman walk towards you with Carlos and Charles behind him. 

“Please tell me it’s a wig,” Carlos frowns, his eyes lingering on your suddenly platinum hair. 

“I’m having fun as a blonde, Carlos.” You shrug innocently, your arms crossing over your chest, and the pink dress you’ve decided to wear for the occasion. 

Pierre nods in support, “Blondes do have more fun, Carlos.” 

“I- Why?” Carlos asks, not getting the joke shared between you and Pierre. “I don’t understand.” 

“Fine, no soup for you, then.” You mumble rolling your eyes. However, your eyes widen when you realise he genuinely doesn’t get the reference. “Seriously- Carlos, it’s from Seinfeld.” 

“I’ve never watched it.” He admits, his frown still prominent on his face. 

“It’s okay, mate,” Pierre assures him taking him away to explain the joke to him, which leaves you and Charles alone. 

You turn to Charles with a coy smile on your face. “You like the new look?”

“I- but, when?” He asks you, more confused then ever. “You were not blonde when I left last night.”

“Mick bought the dye for me.” You explain, trying to supress a grin. “We stayed up all night trying to bleach my hair.” 

“You stayed up all night?” Charles asks, more concerned now that he learns that you didn’t have a good night’s sleep. “That’s so wrong, mon soleil, why did you do it? Is it about the article? Of course, it is.” 

“Charles, calm down, darling.” You place a hand on his chest, even though you’re hyperaware of the fact that both of you are out in the open. “I’m just going to prove something, alright? I feel fine.” 

“You should’ve slept.” Charles frowns, taking a deep breath. “Are you sure you feel good enough to be in a car?”

You nod excitedly. “Positive, I have a race to win. And wait until you see what Lewis and I are going to wear.” 

“I can’t wait, chérie.” 

Just as you promised Charles, you win the race. Your pace is even better than the previous day, but instead of being fuelled by anger, you are fuelled by determination to win. Your engineers play Aqua’s Barbie Girl as a surprise, and to make things even better, Lewis and you stand on the podium in a Mercedes 1-2 in your matching pink helmets and shoes – even Toto donned pink glasses for the occasion. Charles lets out a hearty laugh alongside you on the podium when he sees your outfits. Yeah, you decide in that moment, this one is for the girls.

You and Charles’ relationship happened so unexpectedly, but that doesn’t mean that you regret a secret moment of it. It all started when you were moving to Monte Carlo at the end of last year’s season, and Charles was the only one available to help you in the process – not that you asked him of course, he offered you to help because he is a gentleman like that. It didn’t take the both of you long enough to go on dates as you spent more and more time together, and it was a natural transition to both of you dating each other exclusively. Despite what you expected, the first time Charles actually kissed you was on a cliff overlooking the entirety of Monte Carlo, the view was beautiful, but you were still apprehensive because of your location on the cliff. So, being the gentleman he is, Charles offered to hold you, and that’s when he decided to kiss you. 

Lewis comes back to the table after taking a phone call as he apologises, “Sorry, I was on the phone; long distance.”

“God?” You ask him, mockingly nodding, which makes George and Carmen laugh.

“London,” Lewis clarifies as he gives you a questioning look. 

You gasp as you ask. “God lives in London?” 

“No, my mother in lives in London.” Lewis replies in the calmest voice he can muster. 

“You mother is God?” You ask right back, without the appearance of joking. Your small discussion grabs the attention of other drivers and couples as the two of you continue bickering. 

“Y/N,” Lewis tries to warn you, but you continue on with your rant. 

Leaning towards Charles, Alex and Lily who are seated close together, you announce, “So, God is a woman.” 

“Y/N!” Lewis groans this time. 

“And my teammates mother, it’s so cool! I’m definitely going to ask for strategy points for the next season.” 

The table shares a laugh as you and Lewis continue bickering back and forth, eliciting laughs from people who watch you with amusement. Eventually, Pierre clears his throat. “Okay, what is everyone’s plans for the break?” he asks, trying to look over the long table. 

“Isa and I are off to Mallorca,” Carlos announces as she presses a sweet kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m going back home,” Yuki shrugs. 

“I’m going to see Chloe and Scotty,” Lance mumbles, “and probably Daniel, too.” 

Everyone goes around to announce their plans for the break, but when it comes to you and Charles, you are nervous as you announce, “I’m just going to stay home, get to know the city, you know?”

“Yeah, same.” Charles nods, thinking he got away with his evasive answer. 

“You’re going to get to know the city you were born and raised in?” Fernando asks with a knowing smirk. 

“You can always find new things if you know where to look,” Charles replies in a serious tone, trying to appear stern as he nods to strengthen his point. You’re busy squeezing his hand under the table to death. 

“Yeah, like what?” Max asks, which earns him a slap on the arm from Kelly. “What? I’m curious.” 

“Like, umm, like-like cafés, and bookshops, and you know those little stores which sell souvenirs but not the generic kind?” He rambles, trying to think of more examples. 

“Okay that’s enough,” Lewis cuts him off, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “We all know the two of you are dating. The entire grid, and engineers, and probably most of the team principles.” 

“What?” You laugh nervously, trying to shrug him off. “Don’t be stupid.” 

“Yeah, we are not dating.” Charles shakes his head, his octave going up as he receives looks from people around the table. “We are not!”

“Drop the act, it’s disgusting the way you two look at each other.” Checo complains from the other side of the table. 

“Yeah, and I can see him doing stuff to your hand under the table.” Lance winces. 

“He is not doing stuff to my hand under the table!” You squeal, but Charles is too busy trying to contain his laughter next to you. “Is this funny to you, Charles?” 

“I mean, a little bit,” Charles confirms, finally succumbing to his laugher, “we have nothing to hide now, chérie.”

“I knew it!” Pierre exclaims, “I told you I saw them together at my birthday!” He tells his girlfriend. 

“Toto and I saw them kissing after quali,” Lewis shrugs. 

You gasp as you turn towards him. “You did not!”

“Yes we did,” Lewis argues, “even Susie saw.” 

Charles pulls you towards himself, still laughing over people arguing whether they saw you together over the past year or not, as he wraps your arms around your shoulder, you murmur to him, “I am so crashing next to him next year, Daniel style.” You take a pause to think, “No, Mazepin style.”

“Maybe not crash into your teammate for the sake of poor Toto, mon soleil.” 

You let out an unsatisfied grumble as you hear Alex complain to Lily, “Why didn’t she tell me? I thought we were best friends!” You groan and look around the table at all the people around you, who are all surprisingly supportive of your relationship, you smile as you press a soft kiss to Charles’ lips. 

He grins as he asks, “What was that for?”

“Nothing,” you shrug, “I just think you’re pretty cool.” 

“I think you’re pretty cool, too, my love.” He mumbles and gives you another kiss despite few groans coming from around the table. 

[momentomori24]

I swear to God, Twitter being able to accumulate so many brain-dead, malicious, pseudo intellectual low lives all in one place at the same time is a phenomenon worthy of being studied under a microscope in a science lab. And no, that is not a compliment.

Thankfully people have already spoken out against this bullshit-- the fact that people needed to is already maddening to think about-- but as someone who got the basic gist of what happened literally yesterday I'll also put my voice out there: Don't you fucking dare try to paint Hbomb as a murderer over this situation.

Somerton may be a lying, misogynistic plagiarist and conman, but he obviously doesn't deserve to die and while I do make fun of the guy, I genuinely hope that he continues to have a life after the dust has settled on everything. Not on YouTube or any social media platform for a long time at least, but just a life nontheless. I don't wish what he's potentially going through on anyone, and I hope that he makes it through this. But regardless of if he does or doesn't-- and God forbid he doesn't-- none of this is Hbomb's fault. It's not his fault, or Kat's fault, or Jessie's fault (because apparently there's people blaming her too cuz WHY NOT), or anybody's fault. All they did was call out his actions, hold him accountable for the harm he's done. They have done nothing to deserve having to carry this on their shoulders should the worst happen. They did nothing wrong. They didn't kill James (he's not confirmed dead yet either btw). They are not murderers. And to the people saying they are: say those words out loud, listen how they sound like, and re-evaluate. Just cease.

And to people like this:

''Oh I'm not blaming him for anything I'm just blaming him for what his audience did because according to HIM you're responsible for your audience'' Yeah, you people can shut your mouths too. Of course you're responsible for your audience, and that includes Hbomb too. However, your tiny, godless little monkey brain can't see why your argument is still rubbish even with that in mind. The difference between James, Internet Historian and Hbomb is that Hbomb never promoted problematic behaviour to his audience. If you promote problematic shit like harassment or misogyny or racism, then yeah, you're absolutely responsible for how your behaviour influences your audience. But that's not what he did. He made it very clear where he stood on those things, literally stating that ''if anyone were to harass Somerton on his behalf they are worse than him and will not see the light of heaven''. He's done his part in making it clear that harassment is wrong, so if someone went out of their way to go against that and harass James anyway that doesn't reflecf on him at all. Also, what the hell do you mean ''hatemobbed'' to suicide? I don't doubt there are people who went to extremes because those bad apples always exist, but most of the things I've seen are valid critisisms, memes and call outs about that guy. If holding people accountable for their actions and poking fun at them a little counts as 'hatemobbing'' (which has Filip calling his critics a ''lynch mob'' energy tbh) what the hell do you call actual hatemobbing then? Do we just let people continue being shitty because calling them out ''damages their mental health'' or ''drives them to suicide'' then? Is that a world you want to live in?

Same thing goes for people like this:

Criticing someone for their objectively bullshit content and wanting them dead are two seperate things. What the actual hell is wrong with you. The plagiarist in question is a person. Those ''harshest critics'' are still people. And because we're people, we care. I'd rather James pump out more plagiarised slop than commit suicide. I'd still hate him for it, but I'd prefer him being alive over the alternative any day. We all do. None of us would sleep easier knowing he's dead just because he wouldn't be ''committing the cardinal sin of putting out a 'pure content mill' video'' because someone taking their own life is horrific-- especially Hbomberguy, how dare you even try to imply that?

And this gets me to the reason I'm furiously typing all this out in the first place: Hbomb is the fucking victim here, so stop treating him like he isn't. He tried making things as right as possible by compensating those that were burned by James through a video where he revealed everything there needs to be known about the guy so that less people fall victim to his actions and lies. To just ignore the harm James was causing while he had the evidence to prove it and platform too big to threaten into non existence should he speak out would've been bad. So he didn't. He did the right thing by sticking with the people James had stolen from, giving them a voice and making them known after they've been scrubbed from the picture by decidedly being uncredited for their works or bullied into silence. He shouldn't have to deal with this for doing the right thing. He shouldn't be labelled a murderer for doing the right thing. He shouldn't have to have the death of a man on his conscience for doing the right thing. People claiming otherwise are obviously wrong, but I can't imagine what all this must feel like right now. Because even tho they're wrong, guilt isn't a rational thing, and I know that if I were in his position I'd still feel like a morally bankrupt individual were the worst to happen even if I knew that it was not my fault. This isn't a funny story. So to add to this dumpsterfire by using it as a prop to bash on a creator you don't like and immediately write Somerton off as dead even when he's not even been confirmed dead yet to do that shows how little these people actually care about the thing they're talking about. They don't care a guy potentially killed himself-- what they care about is using it to paint Hbomb in a bad light because they don't like him. Here they are, posting memes and ill jokes about this very delicate situation while barely a day since the news broke out had passed. It's opportunistic, it's sickening, and literally the exact thing he criticised in his video when talking about 'content mills'. Like, I know none of these clowns bothered to actually watch it, but have some self-awareness. And some shame too, while you're at it.

This long story short: I'm writing this to contribute to the narrative not getting twisted to make Hbomb out to be the villian. Same goes for everyone else. Don't let these people paint them as the villians. If I see another person pull this shit again I will literally bite you and shred you into salad and spit you back out because I hate you so much and I mean that wholeheartedly.

To Hbomb: you will never see this but if you do, take care of yourself.

To the asshats this post is about: Delete your account. Cease all together. Stop talking about this. Just leave him the fuck alone.

[writingquestionsanswered]

I've got young kids, work full time, went back to school to get my degree and my spouse is also in a degree program. Finding the time to write feels impossible. There's no way I can write daily.

I feel like maybe my dream to be an author is out of reach. When should you really ask yourself if you truly want to be an author? Forget an author.. do you really want to be a writer? 

Author Dream Feels Out of Reach

You've come to the right place. ♥

First, I want to tell you that what you're feeling right now is totally normal. So, so many of us go through it. I promise you're in good company.

Second, I submit that this isn't really about whether or not you want to be a writer/author. You wouldn't be here if some part of you didn't want to be a writer/author... you wouldn't be reaching for a dream you didn't have...

Third, I further submit that rather than questioning your intentions, you may just need to consider what you want to get out of writing, what your goals would be as an author, and then create realistic goals to help you get there. That's where I come in...

1 - I'm here to tell you that you don't have to write every day. I spent a long, long, embarrassingly long time parroting back the traditional "advice" that one must write every single day in order to be a successful writer and reach your author dreams. Head, meet desk! In the intervening years, I've learned that writing every day simply isn't realistic for the vast majority of people. Why? Because we're not all independently wealthy bachelors who retired in our 40s, who spend our days fishing and our evenings partying with our eccentric creative friends, and then burning the midnight oil on our latest manuscript while we sip brandy and puff on a fine cigar. If only! (minus the cigar part... yuck...) Instead, we're members of family units, friend groups, and communities. We're parents and grandparents and guardians and caregivers. We're students, we have jobs and roles and responsibilities. We're anxious, tired, and stretched so unbelievably thin. The world is falling down around us. And it's... a lot...

2 - But... that's why we write... ALL OF THAT, I say, gesturing broadly at everything, is why we write. We write to tell the stories of the eccentric brandy-sipping writers, the stressed-out-stretched-thin-parents, the overworked-and-underpaid teachers, the exhausted caregivers who feel their dreams slipping between their fingers, and still hopeful dreamers who cling to the stars with the dust of the crumbling world in their eyes. We write to tell their stories, and we write to give them stories. We write because the world needs our stories. ALL of them. The good, the bad, the clean, the spicy, the angsty, the swoony, the cringey, the comforting, the excessively long, the absurdly short, the plainly written, the purple prosey... all of it matters. All of it serves a purpose.

3 - So, why did you start writing in the first place? You don't have to answer this for me, just for yourself... many of us would answer by saying things like, "because I have story ideas that demand to be written," or "because it's something I do for fun and escape, it's self-care," or "because I love to explore human stories." Getting to the heart of why you write, outside of any goals or future plans, can help ground you in the storm.

4 - What are your author goals? Now, if time, energy, and other considerations were no object... if you could spend as much time writing as you wanted and there were no obstacles to any author goal you had, and no limit to achieving your dreams, what would your author goals be? Do you want to share your stories on Wattpad or a similar platform? If so, do you have any goals related to views/reads/comments, and how often you hope to post a new story? If you want to pursue traditional publishing, are you happy being reasonably popular within your niche, or do you want to be a big time best-seller with your books made into movies? If you want to be an indie author, is there a certain number of books you want to get out each year? Is there a certain number of sales you want to hit for each book? A certain income level you want to aim for? Figuring out exactly what your goals are is important if you want to map a reasonable path toward getting there.

5 - What's a reasonable path to get there? Imagine "reasonable" lit up with lights here, because it's so, so important. Really, the biggest reason writers get overwhelmed and give up is because we have unreasonable expectations and are trying to meet arbitrary goals that sound great, but are just not possible to meet. If you can only muster maybe three hours to write on a good week, and you can write 26 words a minute on a good writing session, if your goal is to write 10,000 words per week, guess what... that's more than TWICE the number of words it's even possible for you to write in a good week, so you're going to fall far, far short most weeks. It's an unrealistic goal.

If you're averaging roughly 11,000 words per month and your goal is to write a novel in six months and have it revised, edited, and published (or revised, edited, and sent off with queries), guess what... your manuscript is sitting at 66,000 words at the six month mark without a single second for revision, editing, or anything else. Once again, it's an unrealistic goal.

One of the best ways to figure out a realistic goal is to take an honest look at your schedule. My favorite way to do this is by the month, using a calendar I can write on. Now, I'll go through and cross out all the days I know I won't be able to write... like, maybe I never write on Sundays because they're too busy, so I cross those off. Maybe I'm going on vacation for four days mid-month, and I know I won't write the day before or after, so I cross those six days off, too. My days tend to fall apart if I have an appointment or other unusual event, so I will usually block off those days as well. Finally, I know I will probably lose at least three days a month to not feeling well or having to attend to a family member who isn't feeling well, and another three days to run-of-the-mill nonsense, so I'll cross off the last six days in the calendar. What I'm left with is a reasonable estimate for the number of days I'll be able to write that month.

Now, let's say I'm left with 17 potential writing days. And let's say I'm fairly certain I'll be able to commit about twenty to thirty minutes to writing on each of those days. And... let's say I know I generally write about 26 words per minute during the average writing session. Twenty minutes across 17 days is 340 total minutes, times 26 wpm, nets me about 8,840 words for the month... and that's not frickin' bad! In fact, at that rate you could potentially have a first draft done in six to eight months! And that's in just twenty minutes a day three or four times a week.

It isn't about time spent, it's about setting reasonable goals.

If you create reasonable goals that you can actually meet, you start building forward momentum. You're not exhausted from fighting with your schedule and failing to squeeze writing in on days when it isn't possible. You're not beaten down from disappointing yourself over and over again. You're actually getting somewhere, and you're excited about it!

So, that's it. Before you get all philosophical about whether or not you really want to be an author or want to be a writer... before you start tossing your dreams out the window or feeling like your dreams are out of reach, try this. Be realistic. Be patient with yourself. Take support where you can get it. And don't be afraid to fiercely guard whatever writing time you do have.

I'm here for support, and there a million wonderful writing communities out there filled with other supportive writers if you have some time to look for them and spend some time getting to know them.

All the best! You've got this... TRULY! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[david-talks-sw]

No, George Lucas is not a "traitor"

You may have seen angry tweets and thumbnails such as these, in the last few days.

Context - Disney is going through a proxy battle, and George Lucas sent out a statement that read as follows:

So immediately, all the grifting influencers who based their entire platform around the narrative that "Kathleen Kennedy & Disney betrayed Lucas' legacy" banded together and agreed that the new line was:

"Fuck George Lucas, he betrayed us and betrayed himself. Lucas sided with his own abusers!"

Here's why this line of thought is absolutely childish and uninformed.

1- Get real, he's a shareholder, of course he'll say this.

I don't need to expand on this, do I?

He owns stock. Someone threatens your money, you defend the money. The question becomes: why does he think that sticking with Disney CEO Bob Iger will result in more profit than siding with?

Variety theorizes that it may be because Nelson Peltz has admitted that he has no media experience. 

And if that's the case? I'm not surprised at all, because...

2- George has always hated amateur studio execs

The following is me simplifying a lot... but George's relationship with studios has never been a good one.

When he was working at American Zoetrope, with Francis Ford Coppola, they were commissioned to adapt George's short film into a feature, THX-1138. The studio execs didn't like it and forced Francis to refund them the money (which is why he agreed to direct The Godfather, to get out of debt).

Moving on to American Graffiti (1973). When George writes Graffiti, he shops it around to studios and they all essentially told him to go fuck himself.

"American Graffiti went around to every single studio twice and they all said, "It's not a movie, there's no story, and there are no movie stars in it." And Star Wars— it was, "What in the world is this? Wookiees and robots? I don't get it." [...] It'd be hard to make a movie [like American Graffiti or Star Wars] today in the system because all these middle management people get in there and interfere in the process. I think that's much worse for filmmakers than it's ever been in the past." - Star Wars Insider #43, 1999

Except Universal. But throughout the process they're being irritants.

They object to the title because they don't know what it means.

The president is convinced it's a bad movie to a point where when he sees audiences cheer for it in test screenings, he argues they're paid actors.

They force Lucas to trim 5 minutes out of the film. Why? Just because.

This approach the studio execs were taking comes from the fact that none of them were artists. At this point in time, studios had been and were being bought by corporations who thought they could make a quick buck in the movie business.

Eg: Warner Bros wasn't run by the Warner brothers anymore. Paramount was now a subsidiary of Gulf+Western.

So when he's receiving notes, they're coming from - you guessed it - amateurs who think they know what they're talking about, but in reality have no clue. They did market research and think they know everything.

This subject is covered in The Offer (2022), a series about the making of The Godfather (reeeeally good show, I watched it twice).

In this scene, for example, you have a studio exec with no artistic sense whatsoever trying to tell Coppola which poster he should go with, and you get the idea of what I mean.

(Fun fact, a young George Lucas even makes a cameo in the pilot episode, in Coppola's office.)

George also went into this subject during his 2015 interview with Charlie Rose.

It's a 4-minute clip, so here's the relevant bit:

"[Big corporations are] known for being risk averse. And movies are not risk averse. Every single movie is a risk, a big risk, like... The movie business is exactly like professional gambling... except you hire the gambler. You use some crazy kid with long hair, you give him $100 million and you say "go to the tables and come back with $500 million." That is a risk! Now, the studios have been going to think of it that way, they say: "well, maybe if we told him that he couldn't bet on red, maybe if we told him because we did market research and we've realized that red wasn't" -- so they tried minimize their risk. [...] They're basically corporate types. They think-- some of the worst things happens when they think they know how to do it, then they start making decisions that ensure it's not going to work. " - Charlie Rose, CBS This Morning, 2015

Now, ironically, this is the same interview in which he compared Disney to "white slavers", but clearly he was still smarting from his own ideas for the Sequels having been ignored.

But considering how little a fuck he gave about those Star Wars films once they came out and how often he visits the now visits sets of like Ahsoka and The Mandalorian, I think he's over it.

Again, this doesn't align with some Star Wars influencers' narrative that "he's fuming, he hates these movies, he feels betrayed and angry!" But if you ask me, he likely couldn't care less, and dubbing Disney his "abusers" is giving them waaay too much credit.

He made his movies, told the story he needed to tell and is now probably just enjoying his retirement, raising his daughter and putting together his museum, part of which is possible because of the money Disney keeps generating for him, as an investor.

So it doesn't surprise me one bit that George Lucas, of all people, to side with the Devil he knows rather than the amateur exec, because the latter is a painful road he knows all too well.

[homestuckreplay]

Turning Lead Into Gold Into A Rocket Pack

(page 615-626)

9/9/2009 Wheel Spin: Character Switch Verdict: John Turns Into Problem Sleuth

9/10/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: Parent Kidnapped By Imps :( :( :(

There’s a fucking ROCKET PACK in this game. A blasting off, cool flame decals, doing loops around the moon rocket pack. This is an absolute game changer (if Rose and John can get it working) cause it’s kinda hard to be stuck at home when you have one of those bad boys.

But before that, John makes a sweet fort! It’s pretty good structurally, and mirrors Dave making a fort nine pages earlier (less good, but in fairness, he didn’t have sheets or dowels to work with). I remember that characters making forts and disappearing into their imaginations was a recurring feature in Problem Sleuth. It’s sweet that John and Dave are doing this at almost the same moment without consulting each other, both sharing a similar childlike whimsy while so far apart.

Not so for Rose Lalonde, who has abandoned all silliness and fun that allowed her to wear a W as a mustache, who destroys John’s fort and throws his whole dresser into the void. How’s he gonna get clean socks now?? I get that she’s in a scary situation and is trying to take control any way she can, but this disregard for John’s few possessions has gotta stop. I noticed recently that his magic chest is STILL on the roof. And it’s not like his situation is much better than hers – I say that if John wants to take a moment to enjoy a fort break, he’s earned it.

Following the fort interlude, John carves totems from a bunch of cruxite dowels. The different shapes of the totems are really fun to look at, and remind me a lot of vinyl records, with their various bumps and notches etched into the record’s groove that then turn into music when a needle (or in the alchemiter’s case, a laser) moves over it. It’s also notable that the totem that eventually becomes the rocket pack has the most mass removed from it, possibly because it has to code for four items instead of just one.

And with that, we FINALLY get started on punch card alchemy! It’s real, Rose was right when she hypothesized this back on p.157 (!!) and the possibilities are insane. The process functions very similarly to the apple from the pre-punched card – use the card on the totem lathe to carve a cruxite dowel unique to that punch code, then use the alchemiter to ‘read’ the totem with its laser and spend the required grist to create the corresponding item. When the holes are punched into a card containing the corresponding item, this object immediately shows up in the Atheneum (p.189, 620) – which is a benefit of punching the ‘right’ card, as even though you lose the original item, you get the cost information up front. When punching a card with a code for something it doesn’t contain, it’s entered as a question mark, and the grist needs to be expended to see the item.

One difference to the pre-punched card is that these codes/totems only contain the item itself, not its precursor. The apple grew from a tree with us seeing its whole creation, suggesting that the pre-punched card had extra information in its code, for an apple + tree combination. Speaking of which, I wonder if John still has the pre-punched card’s totem. It doesn’t appear in the Atheneum, so I wonder what would happen if he tried to use it again.

Rose creates a bunch of new captchalogue cards, ending the reign of the two-card sylladex (inventory of dumbasses) and pioneering the brand new two hundred card syladex (inventory of a different kind of dumbass if you’re using stack or queue). She makes a hammer and then a bouncing Slimer pogo ride, and as soon as the pogo appears, a couple imps jump up to the platform and one bounces off with it. I love this moment. The imps’ sense of harlequin mischief simply cannot be overcome.

Back to the most important thing here, the ROCKET PACK. It’s sadly inoperable, due to containing a violin (something we’ve seen in Rose’s room), a cinderblock (something that’s all over Dave’s house) and a flowerpot (something that fits pretty neatly with gardenGnostic’s chumhandle). So, a new theory: Sburb has somehow pre-indexed the houses of people who will play the game. Beta testers had to provide an address to send the discs to, so Skaianet knows which houses might play. GG has been signed up as a beta tester without their knowledge, either by a family member, or possibly by Rose.

In Sburb, the base items that can be created via alchemy are limited to 1. all items contained within players’ homes, and 2. Sburb-critical items pre-programmed by the game that will prove necessary for gameplay. These include the pre-punched card and the rocket pack – given John’s precarious location, it makes sense that flying would be a game mechanic. These Sburb-critical items probably have pre-punched cards of their own as unlockable rewards, or their codes can be learned from solving in-game puzzles.

We've only seen a few captchalogue codes so far, but they've all been alphanumeric, allowing both upper and lower case letters. While it's possible that future codes could include special characters or even wild card characters, the total number of 8-digit codes (from a set of 62 characters, order matters, characters can repeat) is over 218 trillion - specifically, 218,340,105,584,896. That's a LOT of possibilities.

From the base items, codes can be mixed in various combinations. This is where the creative aspect comes in. Some of these will be useless – like the rocket pack jammed with unrelated debris – but some will improve on their components and make something really cool. For example, John could combine a hammer with a piano and make a beautiful blunt weapon that plays Showtime whenever it bonks an imp on the head. That’s the dream.

[linderosse]

I LOVE YOUR WIELDERS OF WISDOM COMIC!!!! i think its wonderful and so absolutely necessary (if u will excuse my feminism)... the art style is GORGEOUS and im just so grateful someone is giving love to all the zeldas <33

sorry that this is anon but. i dislike being perceived lmao

Thank you so much!!

And heck yeah on the representation front! I’m doing my best to write a variety of interesting characters that will help me tell the stories I want to tell. To me, the fact that they’re mostly women is both incidental and vitally important at the same time.

Tetra was my first Zelda, and I always loved her pirate captain badassery and no-nonsense attitude. I was a bit of a ‘tomboy’ (used in the non-insulting sense, simply referring to a girl who liked traditionally boyish hobbies/clothing) growing up, so I identified with Tetra real hard <3. Heckin’ loved her practical, forthright nature— and the way the games don’t hesitate to show her wackier side and how her actions sometimes get her in trouble— and how she gets out of it, with or without help.

And of course, girls can also be girly and get things done! Love the more traditionally feminine Zeldas as well; shirking feminine mannerisms definitely isn’t a requirement for a well-written female character. You can have a character wear a tiara, battle in a dress, and still be cool. Heck, you can have ’em don a soft gown, not fight at all, and still be an awesome character: maybe she genuinely wants good for the world, or maybe she controls the board with gentle magic and soft “feminine” persuasion to achieve her goals, turning foes into friends— or her pawns.

And characters don’t always have to succeed! Sometimes persuasion fails. Sometimes they argue with someone they know is right. Sometimes her sword falters. But that’s fine! That’s what makes for a good, realistic, fun character— that’s how humans are.

(continued under the cut)

See, I feel like some popular media is trending towards forcing women to be *exclusively* badass, almost flawless in their physical skill yet boyish in their mannerisms.

Like, as a random example: Peach in the Mario movie. Movie Peach no longer giggles and blows kisses, because that would be too girly. And Movie Peach is a perfect platformer and politician, because female empowerment. Same thing with Galadriel in RoP (and it’s honestly a bit different and way worse with RoP Galadriel, because her mother-name is Nerwen which translates to man-maiden and she is canonically a tomboy, but they write it so badly in RoP that not even the rest of the characters in the show respect her for her over-the-top ‘female badassery.’) And as a huge, longtime fan of both the Mario series and the Silmarillion, it kinda hurt to see those Mary Sue-esque, somewhat shallow depictions of what should be complex characters.

Now, the thing is: one or two perfect characters like that are just fine! The problem lies in the fact that many of these shows have only a few female characters to begin with, and they’re all like that. Peach is kinda alright, but Galadriel’s major flaws are barely even shown because the writing has to try to make her look badass even when she’s making objectively terrible decisions.

Because here’s the thing— depicting only perfect women and minimizing flaws isn’t supporting female empowerment. Girls have flaws too, folks. Popular media relying only on the immaculate femme fatale badass just makes for a more cliche story, and imposes higher standards on young girls who look up to these characters. And the forced boyishness forces standards as well.

Why can’t Peach flutter her eyelashes, giggle, and still knock bad guys on their asses? Or, better yet, why can’t Peach flutter her eyelashes, giggle, knock bad guys on their asses, help Mario out, also get helped by Mario, and maybe admit that it took practice for her to get to where she is now?

That’s how she used to be in the middle Mario era, like Super Mario RPG, Thousand Year Door, and Super Paper Mario. Peach was feminine and still relatable to a young tomboy like myself.

I’ve rambled on for far too long, but anyways, that’s what I’m gonna try to do here with the Wisdomverse: tell stories of a bunch of different types of people, where each of them has their own take on what it means to be Zelda.

I can’t promise I’ll be perfect at writing this either, honestly. Perhaps I’ll fall into some of the same traps— I’m sure it’s hard to avoid them.

And perhaps my thoughts on this will evolve over time as well, and I’ll later have an even better understanding of how to write the characters I want to write.

Either way, I’ll certainly do my best!

Tl;dr: I got really sidetracked, but thank you for the kind message! Glad to hear you’re enjoying Wielders of Wisdom; hope to keep building my characters into interesting and at least somewhat complex women as things progress :)

[paingoes]

incredibly whumpy conversation w shavit of @floral-comet-whump

ft. walenty of thales, boundary pushing w/ delta, imperial sadism >:)

not quite RP, just discussing au ideas

(content: dehumanization, cutting, living weapon whumpee, mention of minor whump (child emperor walenty))

shavit: fun fact if walenty ever interacted with destroyer era delta they would treat him like a piece of machinery alia: oh im sure he’d respond to it probably how would that play out shavit: hmmm walenty is a character whose interactions HIGHLY depend on prior rank and story positions so just figuring out what they're doing in the thorn needs consideration ...getting back to the walenty encountering delta thought, they'd be like. “Oh, that's how it looks.” if he's alone they'd tell him to go back to his room cause who leaves nukes wandering alia: i feel like their impression would be pretty much unchanged though, delta does pretty much nothing to challenge anyone’s perception of him as an object shavit: yeah their interaction means nothing walenty is one of many that treats delta like how most treat him and moves on that's all alia: that makes sense for their position though!!! shavit: yep!!!! would you say delta is squeamish by the sight or smell of blood itself alia: probably not deltas broken bones before he doesnt enjoy it but hes not squeamish shavit: so mostly he doesn't care about their sleeves being stained with blood ok 😞 (they don't bother to roll their sleeves up since it gets splattered somewhere else anyway)

[...]

shavit: walenty would do pretty bad stuff if they were in paris's position too I think in a setting like destroyer they'd lowkey be a sadist but be secretive about it as for uhhhh walenty in paris' position bjdbidbidj

1. also not ready in the slightest 2. attempt to fuck it we balling. are very calm with the stress of it but take special care to maintain delta because if they'd been a prince (no gender neutral word, so masculine term it is!) they'd know he was sentient 3. probably ask to cut delta up like once. if he consents: yay get cut up with comments abt having pretty blood, quiet admissions they know he's not a machine, and little vents about everything being a lot, and not being sure what to do about it. rambling about plans basically. he gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after and it's all very delicate if he does not consent: gets reminded that walenty does own him, and while they want to be considerate and not make life horrible for him, they can. I assume that's the most he struggles. he gets cut up anyway with the same softly spoken compliments about looking serene like this, and how walenty always knew him being an object was a lie. becoming an emperor is all quite overwhelming, they're pretty sure everyone wants them dead. still gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after! 4. would recognize that fighting against nezu for power is a losing battle within a month. go over to him and admit they aren't ready to rule, especially not through a war

shavit: I love my coward alia: wow walenty totally abandons delta here 😭 shavit: hear that walenty? ur gonna live!!! who the fuck is delta they're not dead remember when paris talked about being surrounded by snakes in early destroyer? here is one alia: jesus i love your coward shavit: thank u 8< (walenty face) alia: 8< walenty face delta would not consent to being cut up btw and i like the gentle threat thats so delicious

[...]

shavit: imagine a huge custody battle once your old owner gets assassinated only to get handed over to this teenager with autism in their eyes alia: autism 4 autism shavit: oh also they abandon you within a month cause they can't take the stress alia: how old is walenty here u think shavit: hmmm young younger than delta alia: wait how tall are they shavit: oooo this is a fun one hold on let me get it in CANON 151 cm/4'11, 161 cm/5'3 with heels (platforms) HOWEVER this is caused by a multitude of stuff, not just shit genetics some things that made walenty this short: 1. being homeless from 5-9 2. overusing magic from 6-14 (stunts growth) 3. shit genetics they'd probably be taller in destroyer verse since they're not starving and wouldn't overdo training as much or rapidly trying to function as much but still they're naturally short, I think the most they'd ever get is around 165 cm/5'4 how tall are delta and paris :3 alia: deltas 5’7 paris is like 5’10 (but 6’0 in the slay boots) thats why iwas asking cause delta is both older and taller hehe

[...]

shavit: still can't believe walenty threw delta to NEZU because they didn't wanna do this anymore what does he do? delta that is cause they'd come in to say goodbye the night before, but not make it explicit they are unless he engages in conversation I definitely think walenty would've made a habit of visiting delta on irregular days but typically twice a week at night to pamper him

alia: assuming he does not know about castle damon at this point he just goes into it like normal. at which point i assume he is either threatened with it and told he has to be PERFECT in order to avoid it. or he isnt given any warning and it just happens 😔 pamper ?? shavit: searched define pamper it's less pamper and more just be gentle and affectionate with him while quietly ranting and maybe torture him highly depends it's a mood thing alia: oh man WHY torture how…. old habits i guess????

shavit: morbid curiosity assuming they would've been at a military academy like paris, they developed schadenfreude which later grows into very closeted sadism they find people fascinating. the way they grow and react to things, and the things they keep. delta who has been stripped of his personhood interests them on a psychologically scientific level, which expresses itself in them wanting to see him in pain they wanna push him to the extreme, until he's hardly ∆-107(I love pulling the government name out sorry) and more just a [insert whatever his species is called] that's been CHANGED, but still has some of his old self left probably fantasized about it, but would never actually go through with it because what they want is screams and damage you can't hide, which would then reveal their secret alia: yeah wow he would not like that very much i think how else do you think that sadism expresses itself are they less sadistic in their own canon shavit: they're not sadistic in their canon the schadenfreude was a brief phase in the period they were transitioning from being tortured in front of captives to doing the questioning and seeing THEM be tortured it was a righteous sort of feeling? but also not? a very "it's finally not me" but it passed because they got exposure to it from a young age and it was internally normalized to them they don't like inflicting harm because it's just a means for an end now it comes about in destroyer verse because the way they experienced it was gratifying but forbidden, so it never lost its novelty alia: so in this au they probably didn’t experience much of the torture on themselves? wdym by gratifying but forbidden shavit: considering The Emperor and military academy doing corporal punishment, they probably did experience the torture, albeit far far far less and by gratifying but forbidden I mean that they'd feel empowered by having so much control over someone and find the physical violence of it aesthetically pleasing shavit: but be very very aware that what they're doing is torturing someone and reprimand themselves for it alia: but still do it shavit: yeah they're more ashamed of enjoying it than the act itself alia: yeahhhhh deltas fucking scared of them shavit: 😔 alia: i think anything w that kind of sadism scares him like hes a machine what do you get out of torturing a machine… shavit: what's he like when they brush and braid his hair alia: probably still sits still for it but he’s incredibly tense and probably waiting for it to hurt again :( shavit: I think they'd either sit behind him on the floor or take him to their own room to sit on the carpet alia: whyyyy. why the pampering shavit: don't you wanna know telekinesis boy (they like it better in their own room and don't have to carry products over) actually destroyer delta probably has his own hair products… the smell!!! I think they would take one of those boxcutters and draw little spiderweb patterns on his arms and back stars snd flowers too mayhaps spirals and circles alia: yes he hates it omg he’s super unused to being cut you may have to like. fight him on this.

shavit: hmmm beyond the soft threat and verbal reminder of his place walenty wouldn't go through eith it they're too afraid he'd thrash ajd have to get it treated and now they need to explain this to simon and martino coward alia: ya i think he’d probably thrash involuntarily he’s well trained but he’s not. THAT well trained i think it could work but he’d have to like. see it and be warned and be walked through it so arm is okay but not back because he’ll panic if he cant see he’d still ask why though and if its a punishment or not shavit: eeeeeee the part abt him asking if it's a punishment is the good shit alia: he’d be more willing to endure it if it was but if its just sadism or for fun. yeah hes scared. shavit: if he thrashes once they catch him and hold him in place then continue. twice they get paranoid and just clean up his wounds and get to idk being nice they wouldn't walk him through it they're too insecure about this to explain stuff out loud would respect arm but not back actually!! aaaand as for the question ahem shem “No, I’m just curious.” he learns it's because of sadism midway through getting doodled on alia: how does he learn 0.0 is there a tell shavit: oh they tell them alia: WHAT DO THEY SAY shavit: "I always wanted to do this" typa shit alia: delta does not enjoy this shavit: explanation of being punished and occasionally knowing of others being punished. how that changed them. how that changes everyone. pain comes and goes (I had to sorry) but it always lingers. it changes people, delta included and that's amazing that's the core of life, isn't it? adaptation. pain. survival. evolution. alia: he…thinks theyre insane shavit: 8< oh also they're probably giggly/chuckle-y in their monologue!! I think prince walenty would actually treat delta pretty well aside from the uh. torture they keep him the same "just a machine" as the emperor did alia: the pampering thing is still kinda getting me like why bother that would confuse him a lot i think delta is just v confused w walenty in general i think what a weird kid shavit: if he asks they would just say that they're lonely that simple (it goes beyond mere loneliness, it also has to do with having something to stim with and that happens to be delta's hair since it's long and silky) alia: LOL paris does that too i feel like a lot of the times hes just running his hands through deltas hair without even realizing hes doing it shavit: and that's without mentioning that they're more than just lonely, this is both seeking out companionship and stress relief. a desire for friendship alia: aw :( sorry i asked this already i think but i forgot already. does walenty not have friends their own age or. at all shavit: in canon verse they basically don't in destroyer verse they're left behind in the military academy and also walenty is the goodie two shoes teacher's pet and supposed heir to the throne when they're still actively studying I don't think their friends would be people they actually connect with they'd probably have online friends though but never speak of their actual life there

[...]

shavit: living for the differences and sameities between canin paris and walenty in his position btw

they both have something deeply wrong with them for one paris fights tooth and nail for his throne. walenty gives up on it mainly of their own voilition paris is older and taller than delta while walenty is younger and shorter they're both casual with him behind closed doors walenty doesn't take him outside closed doors at all while paris is performative delta thinks both paris and walenty are insane/fucked up paris was a notorious troublemaker in school while walenty was a teacher's pet and goodie two shoes many would believe is a people pleaser they're both deeply paranoid people they both have very little genuine close friends (paris has one, walenty has zero) paris is hated by his staff. walenty isn't beloved since they're still distant, but they're not disliked. a "good, quiet kid" through and through they both would've rather not been royalty wouldn't beg to save his life VS has begged to save their life both are calculated in how they physically abuse delta, but paris is outwardly "loud and violent" while walenty's malice is much quieter + a genuine insecurity of theirs like playing with delta's hair :) both are incredibly selfish and self centered who think about their own plights before any others'

[hotcocoabombb]

So, I just finished Astro Bot.

I'm gonna get this out of the way immediately: this game is a fucking masterpiece in my eyes. A genuinely flawless game. If you don't wanna read this whole long ass yapfest I wanna just say this upfront. If you own a PS5 and don't own this game, you are doing yourself a disservice. With that out of the way, allow me to glaze the fuck out of this game.

Before I start with the game itself I wanna talk about Production Value because holy shit it is off the fucking charts here. Every inch of this game is fucking gorgeous. Water is so good Mario WiiU would be brought to tears. Particles and physics objects are everywhere, to the point where it feels like Team Asobi was just showing off with what the PS5 was capable of. I have no issues calling it the best looking PS5 game. Sure, God of War or The Last of Us Part 1 may look better technically but Astro Bot's artstyle combined with a locked 60fps that I didn't notice dip once despite the amount of stuff on screen at once pushes it over the edge for me. On top of that, the music is incredible. Every level has a new tune that you'll sometimes just sit down and listen to for a moment before starting a level. Slo-Mo Casino, Crash Site, and Sky Garden are highlights for me but the whole soundtrack is incredibly good.

But that doesn't really mean much if the game kinda sucks, so I am glad to report that Astro Bot might be the best controlling 3D platformer I have ever played. Everything just feels like it has the just right amount of fine tuning. Astro's jump is just right between floaty and weighty, and his hover helps mitigate platforming mistakes without being essentially a get out of jail free card. His attack is basic but you can also damage enemies by hovering, and the game switches it up often enough for it to not feel repetitive. The levels compliment the control perfectly. While Astro Bot is generally a pretty easy game, I don't think that's a bad thing because of how comfortable it feels to play. Everything just feels good. Every time you mess up a jump, it feels like your fault instead of the game's. This rings true even in the face button challenges (which is what im calling them for lack of a better term lol). These little challenges, themed around the Sony face buttons, can be a lot more challenging than the regular game, but they remain fair. Even the final challenge of the game to get the last bot is a fair challenge. The game never resorts to cheap deaths which makes it way more fun than some other "difficult" games. The boss fights are also really good. The wait times between attacks always remained interesting to me because the pace of everything just felt snappy. They never last more than a few minutes and by the time you're done with them they don't overstay their welcome. They're always a nice change of pace from the main game. Also, going for completion never felt like a slog. I got all 301 bots (missing 4 because my playroom file got deleted on accident :/), all puzzle pieces, and all achievements and I was never bored. Just goes to show how incredible the gameplay is.

The story is nothing super complex but I like it for what it is. Basically an Alien just decided to be a jerk and stole the pieces from the PS5 and scattered all the bots and it's up to Astro to fix everything up. Not the most inspired story ever but that's not really an issue imo. The main alien is constantly bullying the CPU of the PS5 and it's honestly really funny to watch the scenes. For a game without any dialogue they really put their all into the story and I personally think they did an amazing job with the story.

Overall, like I said at the beginning of this, Astro Bot is a masterpiece. Everything this game sets out to do, it not only succeeds, but excel's at. This game doesn't have a single bad level or dull moment. I am not kidding when I say I don't even have any dumb nitpicks to muster up. Astro Bot is a perfect game in my eyes and Team Asobi should be goddamn proud of themselves for releasing a game this fucking good.

Astro Bot gets a 10/10 from me. Please go buy and play this game. It's wonderful.

[glngrbred]

Hot take, Elden ring is a really good souls like, but that doesn't mean its actually a good game.

within the subgenre, souls-likes have always had really huge issues with accessibility, and i don't mean for disability alone. Elden ring especially had extremely horrible performance issues at launch, which they did eventually fix. Even then you still have to get a 400 dollar PC. Aside from that there are some strange decisions made with teaching the player, like the tutorial is just a hole that players had to point out to each other, and On my barely stable first 20 minutes, i couldn't even find (my b i guess). Obviously alot of extremely experienced gamers would be able to handle themselves super well in Elden ring even without a tutorial. But there's another issue there with accessibility.

2 last things on accessibility. The game's audio is mixed like a movie, (so barely audible or ripping out your eardrums ;-;) witch is another accessibility issue, that you have to put a lot of work in to fix. And the graphics range from maxing out the brightness, to being completely black on bad screens. obviously an issue. I'm not going to go into the issues with explanations and the general tell don't show nature of alot of souls likes, because people have already complained about the text tunnels enough

I do really appreciate the artistry and just beautiful atmosphere Elden ring has, my only issue with the graphics is the performance requirements for them. Also if you never turned the graphics all the way down, it used to cause bit lag spikes just because it wanted to i guess :")

So, my argument is that a game can be a good version of the predecessors it bases itself off of, but if it doesn't actually deliver on playability and accessibility, I really don't think its deserving of the praise it gets. here are examples of games I think are flawless Unraveled/Unraveled 2 Hades Minecraft (Java edition only [cuz bedrock is completely broken somehow???) Never alone (a cool 2 player co op platformer that me and my brother played through when we were 6 and 8 or smthn, it was incredible, and i still think its worth playing as an adult) Spelunky 2 ***Monster Hunter (except for the extremely slow RPG elements) [takes 3 months to get 1 armor set built fully :)]

So i actually have some great news for the difficulty purists, You can actually do a hardcore game well, So long as you make failure quick and readable, Make trying immediate, and Make learning a part of the design. Spelunky is not my cup of tea, i have a bad time with reaction time, but spelunky is really great, in that your goal every attempt is simply to get as far as possible. In elden ring, you have the opposite problem, where instead of completing the objective being extraordinarily hard, getting from point a to point b is tediouse, saving the game takes time, occasionally you can be attacked without knowing why, and you dont get a clear read on what went wrong, ETC. If Elden ring was only the boss fights, I would say its almost a great game. Which is why I included Monster hunter on that list, despite its insufferable grind. Also BTW spelunky 2 has four fun minigames. a requirement for any game to be truly perfect is for there to be appeal for casual gamers, and i don't think adding casual elements makes a game worse, like, ever.

Anyways, last little thing, I really dislike it when People praise games for not catering to the needs of some players. Like everyone has heard dudebros or their friends be like "It doesn't have any difficulty settings! that's so sick!" But, like, Have you ever met someone with a motor function disability, or like, just someone who doesn't play games for 30000 hours every year? Difficulty settings and the ability to control your experience are important. and this isn't about Elden ring, But if you care about being an ally you should want your games to have accessibility features, they only benefit people. and if you're so worked up about about an extra tab being in the settings window, maybe you should like, go to therapy or something.

Also Elden ring's UI is so ass it gave my design teacher a heart attack and they hired a Pe*o as our sub.

[expendables-ropg]

ROPG

''Give it a few times, nothing goes right in its time''

-O

Redy

Orany

Piky

Grewy

REDY

Not ahead, neither behind, im here for what i have done

I am 19 years old, doesnt matters but i use He/him

My crimes doesnt matters neither, or well it does but whatever, i dont want to scare everyone (:

[Appearence description: ''mestizo, Black hair, red eyes and red hand bands his arms'']

[Objects: ''Rifle'']

ORANY

''welp, i guess this is better than death''

(HELL YEAH IT WAS I GOT A BOYFRIEND)

Im 20 years old female or something, she/her

Not much to say of me, but well, can we go to Piky no-

[Appearence description: white, with brown hair and orange eye, also cat ears and tail, for some weird reazon, also orange hand bands in her arms]

[Nothing of equipment]

[THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING UNEXPLAINABLE WEIRD WITH THIS EXPENDABLE’S ADN, HAVE CAUTION]

Piky

''Something is happening, watch out''

18 years old, she/them because…well, i just feel it fits me

They call me the asshole, then i mention Redy and they all shut up

[Appearence description: mestizo, Long blond hair and pink eyes and hand bands]

[Objects: Double barrel shotgun]

Grewy

''I just want to go home...''

19 years old, any/all!

Not much has happened, but at least its not that bad to be here, specially because of Orany

[Dark skin, Brown hair, green eyes and green hand bands on his arms]

[No objects]

Rules

(can/will be added in the future)

-I dont want politics in this askblog

-NO NSFW

-im okay with suggestive things but remember theres a limit

-Im fine with gore (just dont exagerate), and i love rping

-Anyone can ask!

-Dont make your character too op, your character can be powerful, but you also need to balance them

-Have funn :p

RP guide:

''Redy talks in a red color''

''Orany talks in a orange color''

''Piky talks in a pink color''

''Grewy talks in a green color''

''Mod speaks in a purple color''

[This means ooc/mod talking]

*This is how to say an action*

Inspiration:

This whole blog is inspired by @asksearchlights blog, which was also inspired by @ask-eyefestation blog, both of these ones were archived

...well, this is unfortunate, but i still need to move on, i need to still try, i wont end up archiving this blog, and ill promise to stay here for as long as i can! and maybe they will come back and i will not be archived! :D

Also the game from this blog is Pressure from the platform Roblox

Quick mod notes/edits:

-Mod native language isnt english, so i will probably do grammar mistakes, sorry ):

[mod is He/Him]

This blog was supposed to be done to rp with @asksearchlights blog, but now it is its own blog!

I have indeed finished the game! so dont worry of spoilers! ^ ^

this blog is probably not related to the original game, so expect silly stuff/theories / any headcanon / and funny momments to happend here, after all the point is to have fun :)

@Aeott is the mod of this blog

I made this remake of the introooo post, i hope you liked it :)

Thanks for seeing all of this, i hope you enjoy this askblog as much as i enjoyed making it ^ ^

[fulgursmediaanalysisdrama]

Hot take, but after replaying it again I think Majoras Mask kinda sucks

The three day time limit feature does not aid it very well, the game is too large making the time insufficient, but the time is also too much and too long for you to wait out the times where you can do nothing not even explore.

The bombers handbook is kinda helpful, but the timeframes given in it are unhelpful without clear objectives. And all objectives are purposely unclear. I know I can always run back to the Sheikah stone, but I wanna be able to play the game not have another Rotomdex. At least the handbook notes when something is finished, but mostly I wanna reset my days quick which just seems like a waste of time. Generally I don't appreciate having quests split into three parts separated by nothing but waiting, unless you know what else to do. I'm sure if you know everything that's to do and how the game is quite satisfying to optimize, but figuring it out is awful for me. I never finished it as a kid after getting stuck with the Gorons

The map is horrible to navigate, large and mostly useless. You can't even find hints for when exactly to come back later to get into inaccessible areas.

The Witch in the woods requires a healing item, but there's no way to gain any heals.

All the minigames are frustrating to outright unfair, even beyond the waiting to do all three instances of them element, like at least don't make me do them on the same cycle if you can give me the handbook without catching the bombers a second time already. The bombchu one sucks and is unskillful as the bombchus can just veer off and move randomly, the fishing one is useless, the deku one with the moving platforms is hard to practice burns through your money fast as the 3D isn't great so it's easy to miss platforms as you don't cast a shadow on the stones. And it's not just time intensive through retries or like all the other games because it suffers from not giving more money than you earn so you have to keep farming but your rupee bag is also small so you can't carry many tries and- but also because its gameplay is waiting. Waiting is never good gameplay, it makes tedious tasks full of trial and error feel even slower than they already are, and once again this one is already hard to practice. Falling down would mean the end even without the time restriction, it does not make much sense to pretend like it's carnival game where you have a loss condition. The loss condition is not getting the time, you need to play again.

And the one with the "maze" of walls that move up and down. Terribly disorienting, you end up boxed in by three walls all the time and if you ever need to backtrack it means you've lost, the timers to short and there's no strategy to employ. (Yes hugging the wall and always turning the same way, like any other maze, but that's too slow you can't finish this way)

Another thing is I have notes about when to speak to Anju, but I can't. She doesn't react.

I have info about that madams missing son, I don't have info for her because apparently the only info will be having found him? I have been given a deadline but I can't interact with him in that deadline despite having talked to any npc I can find with the mask on. Including the shopowner of the place where he's hiding.

I can't reach any spirit, I can't reach any dungeon, nothing. Idk maybe I can use the bombs in the ice area? But that one had the strongest enemies, it should be last, haven't yet tried this though.

I've been playing for 6-7 hours, I should be much further, like fr it sucks. There's no wonder, no fun, it's just bad. Nothing I have "figured out" so far has felt smart, it's definitely not challenging and it doesn't feel rewarding. The most fun I had so far was getting the heartcointainers from trade quests and such, because they didn't waste time beyond the actions I had to take and aren't limited to very specific time frames or other anti-gameplay-limitations

I'll come back if I find a dungeon and they're better. Or worse, then I'll come back too.

I don't think playing the ds version matters, I can only think of upsides the different hardware would have. And I will not purchase a GameCube just to reexperience this game

[xandezsims]

Sims 4 Castle Estate Kit: An Honest Review

Xan here. I do a fair amount of historical builds, fortresses and castles included—but having to hand-draw parapets as half-walls, the lack of appropriate windows, and the mismatched wall textures regularly drive me up the wall. So when I heard they were releasing the castle kit, I was hype. But, then it came out, and the collective response online seemed to be an overwhelming ‘meh’. Still, I’m committed now, so I bought it to check it out.

And I sort of agree? But I also…don’t. Stay with me, I’ll explain.

First of all, here’s what you get with the kit: 25 items: 1 wallpaper, 1 floor, a foundation, 2 fences, stairs, railing, pillars, 2 wall trims, spandrel, and 2 wall decors, plus windows and doors.

…I have a few observations.

Let’s start with the worst bits:

The Bad:

The swatches are…underwhelming. There are seven, five with variations. The white and black are standalone. The tan (left) and cream (right) are almost identical in some lighting. There’s also one tan swatch with greenery on it, not seen elsewhere. (It has flowers. Why would there be flowers on a castle wall? Maybe that’s just me.) Rest assured, it matches nothing else in the game but the floor that came with it. The brown is…very brown—but there’s a good thing about it, I’ll get there.

So. The spandrels. They look okay up-close, if a little jagged sometimes. But the jaggedness blooms like mold when you zoom out. (At least on my PC.) Probably not using these.

We did get a new foundation, though it doesn’t quite seem to match the walls, due to the light border. Unfortunately, as usual, we did not get a new platform to match it. It’s like EA forgot that feature…

Nitpick with the wall emblem we got: the “clean” swatches are the knight helmet, and the “dirty” ones are a goofy heraldry. No option to have clean heraldry or dirty knight helmet. Also, note that the black and white come with dirty swatches, but we didn’t get dirty walls.

And this is really petty, but these beautiful windows? These ones, here?

Only come with two—count ‘em, two—stained glass swatches, in either gray or tan. That’s all you get. So that black cathedral with stained glass windows you wanted? You’re out of luck. Not fond of the art either. It’s cute, but that means I won’t use it. (Sidenote: that tiny window is not 'an arrow slit', EA.)

That was a lot. Now let’s get to:

The Good:

The windows and doors themselves are amazing. Just look at them! They’re appropriately grand for a castle, and they included sizes for all wall-heights. The best ones are locked to the tallest wall, but for a reason. They’re enormous. Probably the biggest ones we got.

The crenelation fence is a Godsend. (No more drawing half-walls for hours!) It’s adaptive, meaning it changes where the bigger support is based on how long the fence is, where it’s bent, etc. And it looks phenomenal. The wall trims are ornamental as hell, but they are also very cool.

Fun bonus: despite the stereotype regarding EA swatches not matching, the stone textures do sort of match some of the walls we already have! (Shown: Get Together, Bowling Stuff, Fitness Stuff, Jungle Adventure, Cottage Living; Castle Estate walls at the bottom.) This means you can mix and match the new trims, parapets, pillars, windows, doors, all of it, to a degree. And it works pretty well!

Final Verdict: Is it Worth it?

So, when I first got it, I wasn’t super sold. Then, I ran a test on a build I was struggling with and…well, you saw the cover. Needless to say, for five dollars, that’s not bad.

If you’re a historical builder or just really want some grand objects to use, it’s worth the money. There are issues, and the low price tag doesn’t excuse that, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Kit itself is pretty good.

(Now all I need is for them to give us a privy. If you live in a castle, you shouldn’t have to pee in a bush.)

[allstartrekgames]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Fallen

Original Release: 2000

Developer: The Collective

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Platform: PC

A third person shooter set sometime in season 6 of Deep Space Nine. Most of the main characters are involved, with three playable: Sisko, Kira and Worf. Unfortunately, not all the cast is here, with Avery Brooks and Colm Meaney not returning. The voice actor for Sisko isn’t too bad (although still noticeable), while O’Brien is someone doing a very bad Irish accent.

That said, the story is really good. The new alien race, the Grigari are introduced in a spooky manner. They have shielding that needs scanning so you can modulate your phaser to the right frequency, and there’s some nice locations that you visit. The ploy revolves around Pah-Wraith orbs after some Cardassian bodies from a failed experiment are discovered.

While the gameplay is mainly shooting, the tricorder is used well for scanning enemies, looking for hazards and solving puzzles. It help keeps the game feeling like it belongs in Star Trek. The shooting mechanics and weapons are quite fun too, and the game plays really well mapped to a controller (using external software). There’s also some rudimentary platforming, which works well enough. It’s a very fun game.

My favourite mission involves investigating a crashed Miranda class starship. Even with the old graphics, climbing up a cliff and seeing the ship is a wonderful sight, and you even get to fight on top of it and explore inside. You also get to explore parts of the Defiant and between each mission, explore parts of Deep Space Nine, talking to the main cast and some recurring characters, including Garak. That said, some character’s faces are really not done well – I thought Jazdia Dax was Odo when I first saw her. Worf and the Cardassians look much better than the humans in this game.

You can also play through the game as Kira and Worf. Kira has a unique mission on Bajor, but misses out on the crashed Miranda ship. You play though the same levels, but take different routes and have different objectives (although some sections are still completely the same). Kira plays the same as Sisko, while Worf lacks a phaser (which also means no forcefields to bypass) so if you don’t have ammo, you need to get up close and personal with a Bat’leth.

Deep Space Nine: The Fallen is a really fun game, I definitely recommend this one.

[bicheetopuff]

Deku has turned into an object of mockery. In many other social media platforms he is being made fun of, people saying he had to work 9 to 5, and Uraraka just forgot about him the moment he lost his powers, people say Bakugo must have been banging Uraraka behind his back and they seem closer in the pic (because Uraraka and Bakugo stand together). Sorry but is this the ending Hori imagined for these characters? The ending was cowardly af leaving everything open.

What people say online isn’t what Hori imagined for his characters, nor is it what he wrote. Also, Deku has always been made fun of by the internet, so nothing new is really happening, it’s just people hopping on a bandwagon and running with the memes without actually knowing what they’re talking about. It’s only bothersome if you let it bother you.

I wouldn’t say that the end was cowardly either… it just wasn’t as good/satusfying as it could’ve been. Hori definitely had some balls to kill off all the villains, but at the same time a few open ended subplots aren’t necessarily a bad thing considering it gives chances for a spin off. I actually think he concluded most of the individual character arcs really well with Katsuki, Ochako, and All Might especially.

Also, I don’t think everything was left open, I think most of the important things were loosely concluded. Endeavor retired and the todofam drama was wrapped up, even if it was a little sloppy. Everyone’s individual arcs were wrapped up.

Other than the societal issues, Todofam, and Deku’s lack of retrospective on things (which I think was purposeful), I think everything else was concluded in the best way possible could’ve given the limited time Hori had… I think everything was vague in order to leave the opportunity to pick the series back up in the future open. I also think Hori isn’t entirely to blame, I think SJ also has something to do with rushing the ending, especially given the fact that jjk is ending too. Coincidentally right after bnha.

Outside of the couple of things I mentioned, what else was left opened that makes Hori so cowardly? If it’s the ships you have an issue with then I don’t really know what to tell you. Romance was never a focal point, and meaningful relationships don’t have to end romantically in order to remain meaningful.

If the opinions of people on the internet about a story you consume bother you so much, maybe you didn’t like the story as much as you thought you did. Which is okay. I’m sure there’s plenty of other stories out there that are loved by the masses with endings that reach your standards

[superstar49]

Hi, sorry for the late response but I wanted to make sure I had some things for you to read along with what I'm about to say. I would say mine is a bit more objective than the links I'll be posting, so do keep this in mind. These thoughts also will connect with each other in some sort of way.

Racism/Francophobia

As funny as that sounds, francophobia is a real thing apparently in the F1 community. It's littered around all sorts of different platforms of people hating on him because he's french. Joke or not, their hate for him is real and they play it off by making fun of his ethnicity which is not okay. We also see people calling "baguette" (which I do acknowledge they use on both him and pierre) which is also just weird. I think it's important to acknowledge how these jokes are not okay to say, and their harmful. People seem to hate the French, and Esteban gets the short end of the stick compared to the likes of Pierre--- something I'll talk about later.

You also are right about him being of Spanish descent with his paternal side coming from Malaga, but he's also part Algerian (hence the Ocon-Khelfane) on his maternal side. Algeria is in Northern Africa, and there does seem to be a bit of racism involved. It rubs me off the wrong way when they call his face "punchable" or "rat like" seeing as his face has many features present in Algerians. I personally find Esteban attractive, but I see that he's often voted as one of the "uglier drivers" which seems to be a reason why he's not as well liked. I think if he were more conventionally attractive he would have a lot more fans, thus more support.

Classism

I wouldn't say that Esteban grew up in poverty or even poor--- in fact, I would even say he grew up middle class--- but he definitely wasn't rich. His father was a mechanic who owned a garage that he would later sell along with their house to fund Esteban's career. They would live in a caravan after this. His mom would also sell snacks at karting tracks to earn more money. Another point that I'd like to bring up is that he would buy Pierre's used chassis because he simply couldn't afford his own, though of course this was still when they were friends.

I say that he's hated because of classism because he can't afford to not fight. His family basically gave up everything for the chance of him getting into F1 and I think that reflects on his driving style. I think that this is more on F1 as a sport than on fans though. F1 is notoriously known as the 'rich boys sport' and Esteban is not included in this.

Teammates

I could talk about this more, but I'll keep it simple. I think this is the most important one because one of the biggest reasons people hate on Esteban is because he "is a bad teammate", and I think that is simply ignorant of people to say. I'm going to only bring up Fernando and Checo in this as they seem to be the major ones.

Checo

He was teammates with Checo from 2017 to 2018 in Force India, 2017 being his first full year in F1. He would lose out to Checo in his 2017 but then a year later beat him with a 9 to 5 win to loss rate. He would also go on to have many notable crashes with Perez, with most of them having Esteban at fault. Except this isn't exactly true. In races such as Hungary and Spa both of those incidents were Checo at fault, yet people refuse to acknowledge this. Checo is also a notoriously aggressive driver (not to max now though).

Fernando

I would say that they both were just hard racers. I think that both of them drove dirty with one another, but Esteban always gets the blame.

Most of his teammates and people he's fought with have also been very popular which I'll talk about next.

Toxic fucking fans

I might catch some slack for this one, but it's true. His teammates (Daniel, Fernando, Pierre, Checo) have all been more popular than him making him less popular than all but one of his teammates (Pascal Wehrlein who he "raced" with in 2016). Checo obviously has a bunch of Latin American fans and Fernando Spanish ones, and they go hard for their drivers. Some of Max's fans are also insane, but I won't go into that one.

Esteban fighting and racing peoples faves push their buttons and they'll send truck loads of hate towards Esteban that other people see and internalize it and spread more hate to him.

Social Media

I think its just so generally accepted that Esteban is a bad driver (which makes people think he's also a bad person) that it makes more people also hate him. These posts from toxic fans of other drivers that Esteban has "beefed" with give a often wrong or at least very negative view on Esteban that a lot of people will latch onto. I think it's more of a snowball effect than anything. There's a very good quote from reddit that I can't find but it goes along the lines of, "F1 fans love his racing style, but not the driver." and I think it sums a lot of things up very well. They say they like hard racing but hate Esteban when ever he does it (may be a hot take, but I don't think he's bad at wheel to wheel racing).

Pierre

I think this is a topic I could spend a lot of time on, but I'll just give you the basics of my view on this loaded topic. I see Pierre as being more well liked because of his connections with Charles who is obviously a fan favorite and because of his girlfriend Kika and that makes every single complaint about Esteban basically fuel to the Esteban hate train. Pierre and Esteban are constantly fighting, and since both are not very well popular people would rather side with someone their fave likes than the other person. I think people also often forget the times where Pierre has been a horrible teammate as well, like in Australia.

Not being well known

He's not as big on social media ( I heavily agree with you on your point that he definitely needs a new PR manager ) and that's where it really hurts him. He doesn't have as many fans that will back him up and defend him on things which makes him a easier target to hate on. It really disturbs me on how people will laugh at Pierre saying "Ciao" to Esteban after passing him in Austria and how they'll send him death threats after Monaco. I think you bring up a good point of you not knowing him well as it rings true for many F1 fans. He's in a back marker team who's consistently getting shitted on so who would like him? I think if say Max or Charles tried what he does they wouldn't get nearly half the shit he does. In fact, I think they'd even get praised for it. I also will say again that I believes he's also a rather good driver which doesn't seem to get enough recognition.

To finish off this long rant that I honestly strayed from in certain spots, I'd like to say that Esteban is unfairly hated. This of course is all subjective and some of my points don't apply to everyone, but I think this is a pretty good basis on my stance. I do want to put out there that I do agree with the fact that he does actually have to listen to team order and that he does do some stupid shit sometimes though!

https://www.reddit.com/r/EstebanOcon31/comments/ua2wu3/why_do_people_not_like_ocon/

Really good summary of reasons on why he's hated. If you dont want to read any other of links, READ THIS ONE!!! Very informative albeit long response from HONcircle.

https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/sc7b6r/the_curious_tale_of_esteban_ocon/

pretty solid summary of his time in F1 and is rather interesting.

https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/1d36oz9/why_ocons_not_a_team_player_reputation_exists_and/

This is some people's thoughts on why he isnt a team player, though keep in mind that some of these are very negative.

https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/12acufz/flashback_quite_a_lot_of_teammate_collisions_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

goes more into the whole Checo situation and their time together as Teammates. Someone provides a good outline on some of their crashes and provides video evidence as well!

https://www.racingyears.com/vs-mates/Esteban_Ocon

Esteban's records against past teammates (Quali, Race, and time intervals)

https://www.planetf1.com/driver/esteban-ocon/biography

Some more basic information about him

https://www.esteban-ocon.com/

his official website that gives some pretty good information

i’ll let this one pretty much speak for itself and people can take away from it whatever they want. i definitely think you brought up some interesting points, and i’ll absolutely be checking out those links, but i feel there’s not much for me to say in response. thank you for elabourating on your previous ask and educating me about him! i’m always learning more every day so this was a good read.

send me your f1 hot takes