#it was a bad experience. i did a couple stupid things bc i started quietly panicking

[piplupod]

i was so hoping that survival instincts would kick in to break through dissociative fog while driving but nooooo apparently that doesn't happen. shoutout to my dad who let me stop driving at our first destination and took over for the rest of the journey 🙏 kind of reeling that I very easily could've died today and likely came somewhat close to it but uhm. I didn't! so that's good(?)!

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[brytmoon]

i feel like i'm being really annoying about it to ppl so i'm gonna vent here about struggles i have that might be undiagnosed adhd symptoms since i don't have a very big following except for two close friends (sorry y'all)

1. hygiene, such as brushing my teeth in the morning and showering, is hard. it's been hard my whole life but even now, i'll stare at myself in the mirror or scroll through my phone as i try to convince myself to brush my teeth. (this may or may not be related, but i hate going to the dentist, too.) with showering, it's hard to find the time. i always make sure to shower as often as possible (which is every other day, usually) or i make sure i don't smell if i haven't because i'm scared of having b.o. with both, i have to motivate myself to do it with fancy toothpastes and mouthwash or nice-smelling shower gels and lotions. I'm guessing this is executive dysfunction???

2. I've been incredibly disorganized my whole life. i once thought i had adhd when i was younger because of how disorganized i was. I've always had a super messy backpack and a super messy room (it's really messy rn) but i always know where everything is. i had a ds for at least ten years but lost it a couple months ago in the middle of playing it. where did it go???? i have no idea bruh. and i lose my phone all. the. time.

3. i'm terrible with procrastinating. turning in projects and essays at 11:59 after bullshitting it either all day or mere hours before the due date??? a constant. having failing homework grades and having ntis in every class, no matter how much i enjoy it??? a constant. i once did a whole project i hadn't started on until the morning of the due date. i worked on it while in other classes and at lunch and turned it in 3 minutes before the dropbox closed. anything that's not what i enjoy or zaps the fun out of what i enjoy, i procrastinate with. I've sat in front of the computer screen and almost cried so many times because i couldn't get myself to type up a scholarship essay, which OBVIOUSLY would greatly benefit me as a broke college student, but it doesn't matter bc my brain thinks it's boring so why not push it off?? because i procrastinate, i tend to overwhelm myself so much that i break down at least once when an assignment's due because I've formed a terrible habit of pushing myself to overexertion to get a project done that's meant to be done gradually.

4. bouncing off that last point, I'm terrible with time management and remembering events/due dates/assignments to complete. I've tried using schedule apps and alarms. I've tried to plan out my days. I've tried forming routines and habits to get things done at appropriate times and it doesn't work. that schedule app i downloaded and spent so much time filling out? completely forgotten in a week or two. i swipe away the notifications and pay no attention to them. since everything's virtual now, there have been important college information zoom calls, but i forget about them and miss them. i can't remember events, due dates, or assignments if i don't write them down. since i meet every other day or sometimes once a week for a specific class in college, i can easily forget something mentioned earlier that week that's due the next week over the weekend. i have to remember to write in my agenda in order to remember to do something important, which can be stressful and convoluted 🙃🙃 so my bad time management results in further procrastination and missed opportunities, which makes me feel awful about myself late at night when all i can think about is what i should've done better or differently.

5. chores and hobbies are... interesting. when i do get the energy or motivation to clean or draw, i will hyperfocus on them. if i finally feel like cleaning, I'll skip breakfast and/or lunch and won't take care of myself until I'm done. same happens with drawing. and as stupid or funny as it sounds, i find getting up to go pee so annoying!!!! I'm in the middle of doing something i FINALLY want to do and then i have to get up to go use the bathroom. i don't want to break my concentration bc it's an inconvenience. then with hobbies (y'know, things i want to do and enjoy) i procrastinate!! I've been trying to watch atla since everyone loves it and i like it too, but i put off watching it and other shows like crazy. i play instruments and love to do so, but don't practice very often and spend a couple hours doing so when i do because i remember how fun it is. when i do laundry, I'll remember to put the clothes in the washing machine and start it. but then I'll forget to either put them in the dryer, take them out of the dryer, or fold them. i often have to rewash loads because I'll forget they're in there or I'll have a pile of clothes sitting on my bed for days because i procrastinate with folding them and putting them up.

6. i am the most motivated and have the most energy at night. over the summer, I'd stay up until 4 or 5 am on a regular basis. I'd be the most productive during that time but my sleeping schedule would be so off because of it.

7. so people with adhd crave things that produce dopamine, right? well i snack on candy all the time. and i mean it when i say it's ALL THE TIME. my favorite one is red hots because they're crunchy and spicy. eating candy helps me focus and is probably a form of me seeking more stimulation, but it's bad because of my teeth hygiene issues and me hating to go to the dentist. i also can't do tasks quietly. i have to be listening to music or watching a video while working on something and there are times when i want to do both while working??? so now when i watch something or listen to music without working, i tend to need something to do so i scroll through Instagram while having the show on even though it makes me miss what's happening sometimes.

8. i don't really fidget much i don't think?? but i do weird stuff while listening to someone talk. in school, i often doodled on my worksheets and got in trouble for it. I'd draw eyes in the margins, characters I'm fixated on, squiggly lines, and would color in my o's. or while listening to a family member vent, i dance around or listen while scrolling through Instagram. i also have a baaad habit of picking at my skin (dermatillomania). I'd focus on picking scabs for a really long time when i was alone and bored and have scars on my face and legs from doing it. I've picked at my face since i was a kid and absent mindedly do it every day.

9. i can get quite distracted and have to ask for directions to be repeated because i won't hear them?? like my brain won't process what someone said until they say it again when i'm actually fully paying attention. my mom will ask me to run an errand for her and she'll need to repeat it to me because i'll get distracted while she's explaining or i'll forget what she said after walking away. i get off track in conversations a lot and can't really listen well when there's a lot of other noise going on, like in cafeterias. i'll be talking to one friend and hear another interesting conversation down the table and pause while speaking bc my attention shifted. i also can lose my train of thought quite easily when waiting to speak and forget what i was saying and not be able to remember it for the life of me. so I'll interrupt sometimes so i don't forget

10. when talking to friends, i feel like i talk about myself a lot. i like to use my personal experiences to connect with what they said and be empathetic to them, but i worry this comes off as being conceited. i heard that it might be an adhd thing i do to keep myself engaged in the conversation.

i think that's all of them??? I'm so sorry to anyone who has to scroll through all this jgjrjrj but i guess it's good to make note of this stuff in some way because i articulate my feelings better when typing instead of speaking. and this'll be helpful to reference when chatting with a future therapist which i will hopefully get soon! and if anyone sits through this and has any advice, I'm all ears!!

[makeyourchoices]

THROWS SELF INTO INBOX,, HELLO, NEVER FEAR, FOR AM I HERE... can i order a mcnugget and some reALLY SOFT HEADCANONS FOR DATING DWIGHT FAIRFIELD and maybe ash if u feel like bc i watched evil dead 2 the other day and smh he baby

Soft dating headcanons are... my j a m

Dwight and Ash soft dating headcanons!

Dwight

Before you start dating Dwight, he is very nervous with you once he starts to realize how he feels about you.

Like, this boy is so used to being looked over and ignored, or things going wrong when he did try to bring some sort of attention to himself that he just thinks of the worst case scenario right away: why would you like him? There’s far more charismatic guys you would probably like instead. 

Even so, he can’t get you out of his mind. He wants your attention, he can’t help but to be a little clingy or feel sad when he’s away from you even if one of you is in a trial without the other. He feels like he’s letting the chance slip through his fingers, but what is he supposed to do about it?

A lot of the survivors notice, but most don’t say anything for Dwight’s sake.

Ace notices too, though. He’s not quite as willing as the others to keep quiet over it. So, he starts to build Dwight up the best he can. He points out when your gaze is lingering too much to be just friendly. He points out how much brighter you seem with Dwight, etc.

Eventually, he pushes Dwight to take the next step and ask you out. It takes a couple days, but eventually he does work up the nerve.

It happens after a rough trial. A trial you both survived, sure, but rough nonetheless. He doesn’t even know what comes over him but he takes you aside and confesses to you right there.

When I say confess, I mean it. This man spills his heart out to you. Needless to say, you’re quick to accept him.

Once dating, he is somehow even more soft with you. He’s always wanting to hold your hand for one thing, letting his thumb trace random shapes into your skin as he talks idly with you.

Also expect him to be a lot more persistent in protecting you. He always protected you when he could before, of course, but now he somehow doubles down. 

You bet he brings flashlights all the time specifically to get saves off for you, even if it leads to him being the killer’s new target. He may like staying out of harm’s way, but your safety and his desire to see you escape overpowers that immensely. 

(Please though if he gets killed in that trial, cuddle with him after. He knows you probably think it’s stupid for him to stick his neck out for you but he only does it with the sweetest intentions, and he knows he won’t die for good and it’ll be okay.)

Also, expect him to take you on as many “dates” as he possibly can. A walk through Ormond to see the snow? A stroll through the Red Forest (with Anna’s permission) to enjoy the quiet scenery? Absolutely. 

Do not be surprised if he talks about the “what ifs” for when (if) you two escape, once you two have been together for a while. He loves you, and he would definitely love to think about being with you forever in a more domestic setting.

Ash

This man… really has not had the best of luck with partners. He acts a lady’s man, but that doesn’t mean he has long lasting luck with those he tries to cozy up with.

The total opposite of Dwight though, his luck does not stop him from flirting with you as soon as his feelings start cropping up. He’s far from subtle with it too - his somewhat playful, almost smug smile as he casually leans with his arm propped up against a tree or even some of the buildings during trials makes it clear what he’s focused on.

Sure, he knows there’s a time and a place but he still wants his feelings to be known. Can you blame him? At this point in his life he doesn’t know when everything will be stripped away from him again, so he has to make the time count. Who knows how long he’ll be stuck here or what could happen?

Needless to say, he would eventually win you over. The man can be persistent - whether that’s just natural charisma or constant experience from his bar hopping, hard to tell. He’d swear it’s the former though.

When you do end up with him, be prepared for and expect a lot of teasing on his end. He’s a charmer, and he’d love to see you smiling or blushing from his compliments or even his casual comments towards you.

Also expect him to be a bit… antsy when you’re in a trial without him. You’ll always come back to see him pacing near the fire, similar to a dog waiting for its owner to return home from work. He’ll swear to you it’s just because he wanted to stretch his legs, but the pure relief in his eyes when he sees you’ve returned to him gives him away. He will never admit it though, more than likely.

Expect him to have some relatively bad days. He’d be careful not to snap at you, but there will be days you can tell he’s out of sorts. Just keep an eye on him and when he comes to, he’ll have you in his lap in no time, quietly rocking you back and forth as he reassures himself that what he has right now, you, are real and alive.

Just please, do this man a favor and no dates in any of the cabins, okay? He may be tougher than he was way back when hell broke loose, but that doesn’t mean he needs the reminder.

He would definitely love nap dates, though. Sounds simple, but let’s be honest here - he’d like to be able to hold you. He’d like hearing your soft breathing as you slept peacefully in his embrace. He’d like that reassurance, knowing that when the two of you wake up, you’ll still be together. 

[juupajaa]

1This is gonna be super long and I'm sorry but I gotta get this off my chest somehow and I would like your input. Also major trigger warnings!! I did a bad thing?? I know I shouldn't have but it's already been done. For context, my friend lives in a different state but we live close to state lines so we meet up pretty much every other weekend. She lives by herself because her parents kicked her out (they're homophobic) but my family loves her so she spends holidays with us.

2I've been in recovery for about 11 months now and she's been my rock the whole time. She stayed with me on the phone for hours when I was real bad, and she gave me plenty of space too. I don't really like it when people baby me, it makes me feel like a burden. When I told her about my ed she stayed the same she always had been so it was a relief to be around her. My family voiced their concerns and talked about recovery so much I felt cornered a lot and needed a break from it.

3She didn't treat me with kiddie gloves like others did and helped me by keeping things normal, and supporting me more quietly and I think that's something super helpful that people don't talk about much. I know it's important to talk to someone and actively pursue recovery but I really needed that sense of normalcy too.

4She spent another weekend here, but when she had a bath her phone rang and I searched her bag for it in case it was her work. The call ended before I got to it but checked the notifications anyway so I could tell her who called. That's all good, but I noticed a tumblr notification and checked it without thinking. My friend has an ed blog??? I was shocked but put it away so I wouldn't be caught snooping, that wasn't even my intention.

5When she left I just spent hours scrolling through her blog. I know I shouldn't have but the curiousity got the best of me. I wanted to know if she had posted about me at all, which she hadn't. I feel so bad for never thinking something was wrong. Her weight has yoyo'd the whole time we've known each other, but she's been normal weight for as long as I remember.

What fucked me up is that her blog is much older than my eating disorder, and I just had really disordered thoughts. I thought wow I'm a fraud, she's been in this for years, maybe I'm just pretending?? But then it got nasty. My mind went to things like, all this time and she's not even skinny yet? At least I became underweight and it didn't take long. She eats so much she can't have an ed. I thought about how she looks too but she's normal weight, her body is perfectly fine! but ed logic right?

I'm so conflicted. I can't even begin to imagine how she must have felt all that time supporting me? All the stupid disordered shit I said, and still do sometimes.God I'm recounting times I complained about calories even when she had just eaten. I must have made her body image worse too because I would criticize even healthy bodies when she was right there. I know my disorder is to blame but I feel horrible. A lot of those I would trash were smaller than her and I didn't even think twice.

I've obsessively tried piecing things together. A couple of years ago we walked downtown and she commented it smelled like sophomore year, vomit. The whole time I was in recovery she ate normally. It was easier for me to start eating again because others did, especially her because she never nagged about it like my family did. Does she prefer visiting because it's easier to pretend away from home??

When I stay over she doesn't really have food at her place?? Could be coincidence but we go grocery shopping whenever I visit. Maybe Fridays are just her grocery day. I never thought about it but now I'm worried. Does she not eat when she's alone? From her blog I know she restricts a lot, but when she's with me she eats normally. When I was at my worst I found satisfaction in it and compared our intake.I don't think she purges when she's here and that could explain why she's not losing weight.

(Last one) Please help me, I don't know what to do. I'm worried but I don't want to lose her. I know I betrayed her trust and all but I can't pretend like I don't know and let her suffer. And she's a sweet girl, and I feel like shit now. She never even talks about her family situation so I doubt she'd tell me about her ed, especially since I'm in recovery. When her family kicked her out she seemed so calm, but that shit hurts?? It breaks my heart, even more now knowing about her ed too.

🌻

Yeah there's a lot of complicated stuff here but I feel like the first thing I should say is that you're beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault. I don't see you having done anything terrible here🤔

You weren't snooping, it's a very different thing to actively go look up other people's phones than to accidentally see something you didn't mean to see. And as for looking up her blog, if it's a public blog, you could have found it even without knowing it was hers. That's just something that we all need to realize when we make blogs and such. Even if your blog feels like a private thing, it really isn't if you put it online wide open.

And all that nasty disordered behaviour you did in her presence? You were sick and didn't know better. I know it's hard to separate these two sometimes, I struggle with it a lot too, but trust me, you're not a bad person for things you have done by accident or out of ignorance. And all the nasty thoughts you had about her are very normal ed thoughts. They feel awful and they're so intrusive and nasty, but they spring from your ed and not from your heart. You clearly love your friend a lot and want all the best for her, and your ed is just trying to hurt you through her when it spams those thoughts into your head.

And as for your friend, she's no doubt feeling horrible as well. I bet she must have felt like a fraud herself, watching you go to recovery while no one even notices that she's sick too. And as you said, she's been sick a long time and "still not losing weight", I wouldn't be surprised if she has been beating herself up for that as well. I feel like she's probably waiting for someone to notice her too.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you two need to have a talk. A really long and open talk that involves you both probably crying and hopefully hugging at the end. These talks are not fun to have but they clear these things up like nothing else. If you don't know how to set up such a talk, I recommend you open it with a text message and make some opening statements like "I really wanna talk about this thing but I dont know how to bring it up so here's a text. I know you're not doing so well and I want to support you like you've supported me. Can we meet up at some point and talk about this and this and this?"

I've had a few of these talks and every time I've had them, I've felt like I'm about to throw up, I'm sweating, I'm about to cry, but it is so worth it to go through with it bc it can solve such a huge amount of the problems that are festering. And after it's over, the relationship is so much stronger and both parties have an easier time to breathe.

If you have a hard time knowing what to say to her, just think about what you would want to hear in her situation. What you would have wanted to hear and what would have helped you feel better? You two share the experience and you both know exactly what words and gestures hurt you, and you also know what heals, what feels nice and what is needed.

Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure your friend would rather keep you and be happy and honest with you, rather than to let your friendship be rotten away by secrets and shame and guilt. Talking things through is hard but so are most things that will help you. Medicine usually tastes gross but it will help.

Good luck with it, I'm sure you can figure this out, just be honest with yourself and what you want to do and be so so so brave Remember to also take care of yourself and that you're still healing yourself ❤❤❤

[silliusssoddus]

I’d Never Be Angry With You

(Part 2 of “Take Another Piece Of My Heart”) A/N: I’m honestly so surprised and grateful for the of love and support I got from part 1 (which I recommend you read before this). And the amount of people that wanted a part 2?? Wowow thank you so much! So here she is and I’d like to apologise because: TRIGGER WARNING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT/SUICIDAL IDEATIONS I’d like to make it clear that my intentions are in no means to glorify or romanticise suicide. I’m not saying this is how every depressed person acts bc this is written based on my own experiences and thoughts. I do not intend to offend anyone with this. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or similar please, seek help. You can always talk to me :3 I find talking to be a good way of relieving emotions.

I hope you like it :P and I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.

A year had whizzed by faster than you could’ve ever imagined. After you left your long term friends, you were surprised at how much free time you had now that you weren’t touring with them or joining them in the studio, watching them fall apart at disagreements. You had moved into your parents’ flat, though they were no longer with you. You had no other place to go and this was the safest place that didn’t draw connections to Queen. Every time you thought about the day you left, you’d suddenly get the urge to hit your head until it’s out of your mind. No matter what, nothing filled the empty space in your heart the boys left and John took up the most space.

You spent the whole day writing the final parts of the note you’d been storing for a few months. You were never serious about it, but lately you were the lowest you ever felt. You couldn’t bear living the lie that you were perfectly fine, that you weren’t lonely all the time from isolating yourself in your flat and only went out to buy groceries every other week or so. Even then, you couldn’t gather the energy to make meals.

The note was your final goodbye to everyone, but more importantly an apology to John for wasting his time with your presence.

You closed the front door of the building and got into your car, driving to what was yours and John's favourite place. It was an isolated field on a massive cliff with a bench and a dim streetlight placed on the side. It was perfect. You parked the car and sat on the bench for a while, going through your note and assuring yourself that this was the only way. You didn’t need to live in shame and embarrassment anymore. It was now or never.

Sighing deeply, you walked closer to the edge, stuffing the note in your pocket. You closed your eyes, ready to lean into the pit, when a familiar voice called out from behind you.

You jumped back and turned around to see who it was. Your face went from shock, to confusion and then to anger. “John? What’re you doing here?” He looked intimidated by your harsh tone. You couldn’t find it in you to feel the slightest bit sympathetic.

“I’ve come here every evening ever since we...” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, you could tell it hurt him to think about. The two of you stood there in silence, awkwardness clearly present. It took him a few seconds to realise what you were about to do.

”Christ, Y/N, get away from the edge.” he said, taking a step closer to you as you took one back. Your heels were hanging dangerously off the cliff.

“If you come any closer I’ll- I’ll do it.” you threatened. He had no idea what he had to do.

“Is this because of me?” he said quietly.

“Y-yeah...no it’s my fault. I just feel bad for wasting so much of your time. I’ve written my guilt - and everything else - down.” you stumbled on your words. Everything you said sounded stupid out loud and your cheeks flared with fire.

“Can I see it?” 

You fumbled in your pocket to find your note and reached your arm out for him to take it. 

“It’s written for you anyway.” your voice wobbled.

He ran towards you, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the cliff, not giving you time to react. He then slipped the grip on your arm and wrapped it around your waist, pulling you into a deep hug. It took you by surprise - not having any sort of affection for over a year made you so fragile that his touch triggered a waterfall of tears. You sobbed into his shoulder and whispered apologies as he shushed you and you felt complete. Being in his arms - it felt like home.

“I love you, Y/N.” he whispered, breaking you out of your trance. Memories of the break up came flowing back. You pushed him away aggressively, tears turning angrier.

“Force of habit, I’m so sorry-” he blushed, eyes falling to look at his feet. He was visibly embarrassed but you didn’t care. At least he understood how moronic you’ve felt.

“Unbelievable. You broke me - I don’t know who I am anymore! That’s what you did to me!” You tried grabbing the note back, but he pulled his hand away, looking down to read it.

“Forget it. I can’t deal with this right now.” 

You stomped off into your car, slammed the door and sped your way home, leaving him to read your pathetic note full of self-hatred.

You were exhausted, sobbing hysterically as you walked into the flat and threw your coat on the hanger. Suddenly, your knees buckled under you and you held onto the walls for support as you made your way into the living room. 

“Could you stop pestering me?”

You couldn’t stop the flashbacks.

“I need you to go.”

The clothes you were wearing quickly drenched in sweat as your hot skin stuck to it. You could feel your breathing getting slower and see everything merging into one big blur of darkness before your head hit the ground.

However, you were unaware that John remembered his way to your parents’ flat and it didn’t take him long to find out it’s where you’ve been hiding from him and the world. Why didn’t he go there before? He used the spare key in the plant pot to get into the lobby, something he was used to in your earlier years, and walked up to your flat.

He knocked on the door a few times, but you didn’t respond. He got nervous, knocking more and calling your name through the postbox. You were still unconscious as he opened your door, walking through the flat and trying to find you. 

Then, he finally saw you in the middle of your living room floor, unresponsive. He panicked for a few seconds before checking for a pulse, breathing a huge sigh of relief when he found one. He carefully placed a hand on your back, the other under your knees, carrying you into your room. With the same tenderness, he placed you in your bed and tucked the duvet around you.

You woke up to the faint sound of sizzling, worried that you’d be the reason for the building burning down. You got up to investigate the origins of the sound, light-headed and dazed as to how you ended up in your bed. You didn’t remember much of yesterday’s events, until you saw John next to your stove.

“Oh good, you’re awake. Slept well?”

“Was fine.” you looked at him confused. Maybe you were concussed and he was just a hallucination.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” he grinned, walking over to check your temperature. Your heart fluttered when his warm hand pressed against your forehead. You shook your head rid of his hand and your feelings.

“Lucky for you, breakfast will be ready in a minute.” He flashed a smile and turned back to the stove. As you made your way to the table, you couldn’t help wondering if there was something you forgot from last night. You thought you’d made your anger toward him clear, so why was he in your house?

“Careful, you’ll shoot lasers into the table if you carry on staring like that.” John showed up in front of you, holding two plates of full English breakfasts. He noticed you rolling your eyes.

“What, you don’t like the food?”

You scoffed, “No, you know it’s my favourite. It’s just- why are you here, John?”

“You really think I would just forget the state I saw you in yesterday?”

“Uh, judging by the terms we left off on, yes.”

You started on the breakfast, eating like there was no tomorrow.

“You really haven’t been taking proper care of yourself, have you?”

“Define “proper care”.” you spoke through the food. You quickly glanced up to see John looking at you, his forehead wrinkled in concern.

“Look, I’m fine right now, aren’t I? Why are you so worried? Can’t you just leave me alone?” He chuckled quietly, which only sparked more anger in you. 

“What?” you retorted.

“That’s the last thing I told you.”

Your face softened, pinching the bridge of your nose and forcing the flashbacks to go away.

“Really, what’s wrong? What drove you to the cliff?”

“My car.” you scoffed, making him put down his knife and fork to look at you with more seriousness.

“Y/N.” he said sharply.

“It is in the note that you stole from me yesterday.”

“I didn’t read it. It made me sick to think about,” his voice cracked and he blinked furiously to stop himself from crying, “my mind was just set on making sure you were still alive.”

This whole time he’d been caring for your you the same way you cared for him. And you’d been denying his care the same way he denied yours. So you told him everything. You told him how the loneliness from not having any family left and losing the only friends you ever had got unbearable.

“But I never said I wanted you out of my life.”

“Then why didn’t you check on me sooner?”

“I told you, I needed time for myself. Everything just got to me after Freddie died, not to mention I was treating you like sh-”

“Woah, language. Didn’t expect that from you.” you gave a small laugh to ease the tone and he joined. You finally felt comfortable talking to him again.

“Y’know, time away from you gave me a lot to think about.”

“Like what?”

“I think you’re the one,” you dropped your knife and fork and looked at him in shock, “I mean, I’ve always known. Even the band did,” he grinned. 

You remember everyone being relieved after you finally got together, calling you the couple that’d never split. Even you believed it, up until that day.

“Freddie and Brian wouldn’t stop talking about fate. Roger, my word Roger, he always made fun of me. He’d ask when his turn was!” he chuckled, his face shortly turning serious. He leant over the table and rested his hands on yours. “And I’ll help you get through this. I promise, you can get through this, I’ll do my best to make sure you’re with me for as long as possible. I’ll get you a therapist. Until then-”

He got out of the chair and headed to your radio, looking through your CDs that haven’t been touched in more than a year while you sat there and felt like a child on Christmas. You didn’t realise how much you missed him rambling about things he was so passionate about. About how much he cared for you. He skipped through many songs on “The Game”, eventually landing on “Need Your Loving Tonight”, a song he wrote. 

You felt nostalgia rushing while he hopped around the living room floor, showing off his old Disco Deacy moves. He sang his way over to you, stretching out a hand. You took it and joined him on the floor.

“I said I’d never be angry with you.” you sang along, grinning as he gave you that Deacy smile that would never get old.

The two of you jumped around like mad and you couldn’t stop laughing. He would occasionally spin you or do some other cheesy, romantic moves while the song continued.

“Coz I love her, love her, love her, love her!”

His voice was croaky from the lack of singing over the years and he messed up the lines frequently, but he didn’t care. As long as what he needed to tell you reached you, he was happy. And it did. That euphoric feeling of home filled you to the brim, melting the remaining anger and hurt.

The song had ended but he kept repeating some lyrics. You started crying over how happy you felt, after you’ve beaten yourself up for so long.

“Come on, Y/N, let’s get together.” 

You nodded enthusiastically, locking your arms around his neck, his hands held your hips as he pulled you into a long-awaited, warm kiss. 

“I’ll love you, Deacy, I’ll love you forever.” - Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! As always, criticism is welcomed.  Taglist & thank you for the kind messages:  @notthebackchat @deakyjohns @tini-monster @fatbottomedgorl @right-til-the-end @endlesslydead @marvellouspengwing @sweetdreamsaremadeofthis27 @heartsarecompatible @fredthelegend @cosmicsskies @deakysgirl

[asoftslytherin]

sweetener. ch. iii

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long for me to put out. the last two days were awful and i didn’t feel like doing anything. but i did it!

summary: you get home to your apartment and your friends have questions, but you start remembering certain things about the night before so who cares about them

warnings: so this one is like pretty smutty. no like actual sex but talking about it and the word “orgasm”, also language bc in a past life i was a sailor probably

word count: 2.3k

(as usual, i do not own this picture, i just cropped and edited it slightly bc aesthetic)

You winced as you walked back to the front door of your apartment, knowing that at least Marlene would be there. Something about being in front of the door took you back the the night before.

“God, I need you so bad right now,” you moaned into Sirius’ neck as you continued planting kisses up to his ear and biting his earlobe. “I swear, you’re going to be the death of me,” he chuckled, swinging the door open and pulling you in right behind him.

Were you beginning to remember last night? You shook your head and took a deep breath, turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

“Finally!” Marlene cried when she heard the front door open. “Wait, is it Y/N? ‘Cause last time it was just Lily and I was very disappointed.”

“Excuse you,” Lily laughed. “I am a delight.”

“Well,” you sighed, closing the door behind you and throwing your shoes down on the floor in front of the couch before flopping onto the soft cushions. “It’s me,” you said into a decorative pillow. “Who else would have a key to this apartment?” you questioned, face still in the pillow.

“Nobody, shut up! Tell us everything! We’ve been waiting long enough!” Lily walked towards the back of the couch, draping herself on the back edge of the sofa, in a position where someone could easily just push her onto the ground. But you weren’t feeling that mean. Marlene sat down on the floor in front of where your head was laying, criss-cross with her hands in her lap, as if the better her posture was would affect the outcome of what you would tell them.

“You guys are about to be seriously underwhelmed,” you said, again, into the pillow.

“Well I’m sure that you ‘siriusly’ didn’t feel that way last night,” the redhead laughed, reaching her arm down to high five Marlene. “I’m hilarious.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that considering I don’t remember most of last night,” you cried, planting your face onto the pillow and screamed into it. You weren’t sure if it was the shock from what you had said or your scream but it sent her falling off the back of the couch.

“What?!” Marlene shouted. “Is that what happens when you get to drink number five? You just black out?! I’m so disappointed,” she shook her head, as if her disappointment meant anything to you.

“You’re disappointed?! He said we went for three rounds and I do not remember that at all. I’m never drinking again,” you exclaimed, turning your head your mouth was no longer muffled by the pillow. As you said that you hadn’t remembered anything you did you began remembering blips of the night before.

Skin on skin. Lips crashing together. His eyes searing your skin as he looked at your body before devouring you with everything he had.

It took you a minute to remember that you were back in your apartment and not underneath Sirius.

“Goddamn, I knew he was good but I didn’t know he was that good,” Marlene said, raising her eyebrows, looking impressed.

“Y/N,” Lily said sweetly, shoving you into an upright position so you were in the middle of the two of them on the couch. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything? Like not even a little bit?”

“I remember walking out of the club, making out outside the club and in the Uber on the way to his place. Sirius opening the front door of his place, and then it gets fuzzy. If I concentrate really hard I can get little clips of it. I do know for a fact that I told him no man had ever made me come, because he relayed what I said last night when we ate breakfast.” You sighed and rested your head on Lily’s shoulder, still feeling quite embarrassed.

“‘Had’ made you come?” Marlene nearly jumped out of your seat. “Are you saying that Sirius Black was the first man to give you an orgasm. I knew no guy had ever but for the first to be Sirius, just… wow.” She looked at you in disbelief mixed with approval. Your response was leaning your head on the back of the couch and groaning.

“So you had breakfast with him?” Lily raised her eyebrows and leaned over to look at Marlene, trying to change the subject. “That’s interesting.”

“Oh shit,” you said quietly, leaning over Lily and grabbing your bag from the table beside the couch, pulling out your phone remembering that you hadn’t texted Sirius that you’d gotten home safely.

“Why are you texting Sirius, Y/N?” Marlene coyly asked, not even pretending that she wasn’t looking directly at your phone.

“He told me to text him when I got home and I just remembered to do that,” you said casually, not looking up from your phone.

“Aw, he cares!” Lily clapped her hands together and bounced on the couch.

“Okay, calm down Miss Lovebird,” you stood up and started walking to your room. “All it means is that he’s not an asshole.”

You walked into your room, shut the door and the act of rolling onto your pillow brought back another memory.

You flopped your head down onto the pillow next to him, trying to catch your breath as you felt the remnants of your high going through your veins.

“You’re gonna have to give me a minute after that one,” you breathily said with a grin on your face, looking over at Sirius’ profile, deeply appreciating how his hair had fallen onto parts of his face, very mussed up from your hands gripping onto it just seconds earlier. You closed your eyes for a moment and prayed to every deity that this was not some elaborate dream. Sirius lightly laughed at your statement, also catching his breath.

“I have to agree with that,” he turned his head to look at your face. “That was… intense.” He laughed again before you rolled off of the bed to go to the bathroom.

After cleaning yourself up, you looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was going in all different directions, and your entire body was flushed. If you took your hair out of the equation, you looked hot. I’d probably do me, you thought to yourself. You were a pretty confident person to begin with, but you were sure that the experience of being thoroughly fucked by the hottest guy in existence added a lot to it.

You had a small smile on your face when you walked back into his bedroom where Sirius sat with head leaning on the headboard, his arms resting behind his head. “I know this is a stupid question,” Sirius began, “but why do you have that smile on your face?”

You stood with your hand on your hip before casually stating, “Oh, I was just looking in the mirror and seeing how hot I looked.”

Those same clouds came over Sirius’ eyes when he grabbed your arm and pulled you on top of him on the bed. “I completely agree with that, but I do know a way that you could look even hotter,” he grinned, rolling over so you were under him as he pinned your arms over your head.

“Oh yeah? I’d love for you to show me exactly how,” you smiled coyly and cocked your head to the side.

You blinked your eyes a couple of times, registering what you had just remembered, not realizing that your phone had buzzed.

Y/N 📲 Sirius

Y/N: made it home safe.

Sirius: i’m glad.

*five minutes later*

Y/N: so i’m remembering some things from last night and wow i was super cocky sorry about that.

Sirius: if anyone was “cocky” last night it was me Sirius: ;) Sirius: no, honestly that was super hot, and i’m glad you remembered it so you can do it again.

You didn’t want to admit that you blushed at that text.

Y/N: i’ll keep that in mind. and i’ll let you know when you’ll see me again after i take a giant nap. Y/N: what can i say, you exhausted me Y/N: ;)

Jesus Christ, you met this guy yesterday and you’re already sending him fucking winky faces? Who does that?

Before you could start overthinking everything you’ve ever done, you put your phone on Do Not Disturb, rolled over and fell asleep.

Sirius was kissing you aggressively against the wall of his living room and simultaneously trying to get your dress off of you. It wasn’t a very practical way to get you undressed considering your hands were tangled in his hair, but neither of you cared enough at that point to bring in logistics. He walked you backwards towards the bedroom, his lips not leaving yours. You threw your bag somewhere in the room and kicked your heels off right before letting go of his hair briefly to unzip your dress and slip out of it. Thank god you didn’t wear a bra with this dress, you didn’t know if you were capable of working those hooks in the state you were in.

“Okay,” you said, breaking the kiss and pointing a finger at him. “You had better dick me down good because nobody ever has, and if someone that looks like you can’t then I will be extremely disappointed.”

Sirius made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a growl before lifting you up and tossing you on the bed. Immediately climbing on top of you and slamming his lips back onto yours.

After you had tired yourselves out the first time, you stayed lying on top of Sirius still because you weren’t sure if you could move your body and the fact that he was so comfortable didn’t help. “You definitely didn’t disappoint,” you smiled into his chest and laughed a little bit before rolling off of him and staring at the ceiling, making sure that all of your limbs were still functioning.

“So,” Sirius began, turning his body and extending his elbow so his head was resting in his hand, “and I’m not trying to pry, but when you said ‘You better dick me down good because nobody ever has,’ did you mean that I was your fi-“

“Oh my god, no!” You sat up and looked at him again, maybe you had sat up a little too quickly considering what who you’d just finished doing, you didn’t even want to know how sore you were going to be the next day. “No, I didn’t lose my virginity to a guy at a club. What I meant was that,” you took a moment to take a deep breath, “before tonight, no guy had ever made me come.” You pursed your lips together, raised your eyebrows and your shoulders. “I don’t know if I was just with guys who were bad in bed or they were just shitty all around, well some were, but yeah. You’re - uh, you’re the first.”

Sirius was staring at you, looking like he was hanging on every word you were saying. “This may come off forward, but I honestly cannot believe that anyone would not want to see the face you make and the noises that come out of your mouth when you-“ He took a second to kind of scoff, seemingly in disbelief. “Those guys were seriously missing out, Y/N. And I would be honored to give you orgasms whenever you would like,” he gave that signature smirk.

“Sirius,” you sighed. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, as great as you are in bed, I’m just not looking for that.”

“Trust me, I’m not the relationship type, but how about this,” Sirius was in thought for a moment. “How about we do this one more time, whenever you feel like it, and if you don’t think it’s as awesome as I thought it was, which, in my humble opinion, was bloody amazing, then we can forget this ever happened and just go our separate ways and you can even tell Lily that I passed out or something the second we walked through the door.”

You eyed him cautiously, your previous track record with men was garbage and you suddenly had this guy in front of you who was amazing in bed and suddenly wanted to do that to you again. You were positive there was a glitch in the simulation. “I’d be down for a friends with benefits situation. But, let’s see what sober Y/N thinks about this, okay?” You smiled down at him.

“Then, in the meantime,” Sirius crawled towards you, “how about I give you a couple more orgasms while you’re still here?” He started sucking and biting at the soft spot on your neck. “Would you be okay with that?”

Without replying, your hands were wrapped around his neck and kissing him as hard as you could, wanting this moment to last.

When you woke up, a couple hours had passed according to the clock on your bedside table and all you wanted to do was take a shower, but out of habit, you checked your phone.

Sirius 📲 Y/N

*three hours ago*

Sirius: you think i’m not exhausted here? Sirius: you may not remember but you put me in some positions i’d never heard of and my legs were not ready for that

You smiled at that text, hoping to get a recap of what those positions were later on.

Y/N: okay so while i was taking my nap i started dreaming about last night and i don’t know if my subconscious was just making it up or if those things actually happened. Y/N: (i really hope they did happen) Y/N: but did you say that you would be honored to give me orgasms whenever i wanted?

Sirius: subconsciouses are weird sometimes Sirius: but i actually did say that Sirius: and i meant it

You took a moment to consider your options. You were positive that no matter what was happening later on that day, you were gonna take a nice long shower.

Taking a deep breath, you typed out your text message and hit send before you could overthink your way out of it.

Y/N: i’ll be at your place at 9

a/n: so i already have plans in my head for the next chapter so hopefully that means i’ll get it out faster. also yes i know that blacking out from drinking like never ends up in you dreaming what you forgot (trust me, i would know) but this is my fic and i can be as ridiculous as i want so just suspend your disbelief for a moment and let me be a shit writer for minute (i kinda wrote myself into a corner and that was the way to fix it) anyways thanks for reading this far if you did send me an ask and i’ll do a ship for you just like describe yourself and what era, it can even be marvel if u want who cares right. art is a lie, nothing is real. 

💖-ella

[ofstaffs]

steve steve was absolutely walking on air. the weather was amazing and he was enjoying it with the woman he loved. of course, it wasn't a totally perfect afternoon due to his endearing clumsiness. after his second time dropping the venue folder, they decided it was better if peggy carried it instead. other than that, it couldn't have been better. "i really like the meadow, if i'm being totally honest," he glanced at peggy as they walked under a cluster of trees in magnolia park. "but the park is fine too, of course."

steve: im screAMING

peggy: OM G CUITE

peggy: CUTIE

steve: the ghostbusters theme song came on while i was writing thiS

peggy: HAHAHAAHHA

peggy she didn't think it was possible for her to love him anymore. the bold and the brave captain america was stumbling over his own feet and dropping the folder each time he held onto it, papers flying everywhere, which required a ton of chasing. she hadn't laughed more in her whole life, and she was sure she had never been more infatuated with someone in her life. "i know, i do too. i just wanted to look around here to see if it was a backup choice," she explained, craning her neck to glance around.

peggy: lets just do them for a bit then ill bring rey in

steve: okie dokie

steve "you know, the first wedding i went to was out here." steve spoke, pointing at the patch of grass by the fountain. it wasn't exactly an enjoyable experience; they hardly knew the grooms and there was quite a bit of drama at the end of the night. he decided to leave out the fact that he brought a date to it. "you would have hated it. it ended in absolute chaos." he laughed quietly, knowing his future bride wasn't one to put up with people's shit.

peggy "oh, dear. maybe we shouldn't have it here, then. i don't want people to be reminded of bad memories when they come here," she said, biting her lip in concern. then she glanced up at him with a teasing smirk. "you know that if anyone tries to start /anything/ at our wedding that i'll deal with them myself." they couldn't exactly hire security; plus, they didn't need any. the groom was captain america, after all. "i don't think you'll let that happen, though," she winked.

peggy: omfg deans rper will not stop chatting me

peggy: like

steve: my ot4 tbh :,)))

peggy: actually

steve: im confused on how it all happened so fast

peggy: they kind of pushed it on kathryn and i

peggy: im convinced the mun is the same person

peggy: they're literally the SAME

steve: nO WAY

steve: mia's rper chats me a lot too so

peggy: yep

steve "i can only think of one person who'd be bothered." steve shrugged. that person was rey. she left early on in the ceremony and sprayed someone with beer when she returned. but at that point, he wasn't even sure if she'd show to his wedding. "i know you will." he grinned with a raised brow, tightening his grip on her hand lightly. him and peggy had already waited way too long for someone to ruin it. "hopefully everyone just keeps their issues to themselves."

steve: if somebody hijacks the steggy wedding i will take it ooc

steve: no shame

peggy: ya tru

steve: i feel like dia would tbh not trying to be rude

peggy "they better," peggy agreed with a firm nod, placing a hand on his cheek then slowly smiling again. "but i don't care if /everything/ goes wrong. as long as i get to be your wife at the end of the day. that's all i want. that's all i've ever wanted." she leaned up to kiss him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

peggy: BLESS

peggy: ok im gonna bring rey in]

rey joined the chat 2 hours ago

steve: yaaaasssssssss

rey getting some fresh air was nice, as her dispute with derek was still ongoing, and she felt like she had the opportunity to really clear her mind of everything. until she stumbled across a couple. as soon as she saw the red and blue clothes (did they plan that or did they always just coincidentally dress that way?), she knew exactly who it was. she clenched her jaw but let out a sigh and tried to walk past without her face being seen, tilting it away as much as possible.

steve: does steve stop her orrrrrrrrrrrrr

peggy: probs

peggy: i didnt know how else to bring her in lmao

steve "trust me, you'll be my wife no matter what. even if it means i have to become a minister and do it myself." he chuckled against her lips, gladly welcoming the kiss. naturally, he got too carried away, wrapping his arms around her waist and stumbling back slightly. he didn't even think about anyone else in the park until he felt his back brush against another person. "oh, geez. i'm sorry about that," the avenger apologized to this person behind him, before he quickly realized who it was. "rey?"

steve: i just did that instead whooops

peggy: nice

peggy peggy pulled away as soon as steve did, glancing at the person he had, literally, bumped into. uh oh. hopefully he wouldn't be recognized. she smiled apologetically and began to say sorry when steve said the girl's name. peggy's smile faded as she stared up at him, then chuckled softly. "is-is this a friend of yours?" she asked quietly, nervous about the expression on his face.

rey oh, great. clumsy steve, back at it again. she rolled her eyes and turned to him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. she was sure she looked horrific, given she'd been bedridden for five days, but finally seeing peggy in person for the first time shocked her most of all. she really did look like her. at peggy's question, she just glared up at steve again before firmly replying, "nope."

rey: ouch

steve: damn steve, back at it again

peggy: i kept saying that in my head while writing jrc

peggy: jfc

steve "uh..." he stammered, glancing between rey and peggy. oh god, they looked so much alike he was getting confused. he genuinely did not know what to say. rey and him had a large falling out, sure, but they were so close. they were still friends in his eyes, best friends even. his eyes narrowed at her once she spoke. "no. she's tony's friend."

steve: yiggity yikes

peggy peggy's shoulders straightened at steve's words, and she stood protectively at his side, hand on his arm. "tony stark is no friend to us. it is obvious that steve doesn't want you around, so i recommend that you keep walking before i have to take action."

steve: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

rey rey couldn't tear her eyes away from steve. her expression was a mixture of heartbreak, anger, jealousy, and distress. she missed him, but seeing him with peggy angered her beyond belief. she clenched her fists at her sides as peggy spoke to her, then raised her eyebrows. "believe me, i think that's the best idea, seeing the last time i spoke to your fiancé, he threw a coffee table across the room."

rey: riP

rey: sry im replying so fast im like trying to do this fuc kn g study guide

rey: WHY DID I PORCRASITINA

rey: ETE

steve: UR DUMB

steve: WHAT CLASS IS IT FOR

peggy: US HISTORY

peggy: FML

steve: WRITE STEVE ROGERS FOR EVERY ANSWER

peggy: O K

peggy: ITS OPTIONAL TOO

peggy: BUT ITS 20 PTS EXTRA CREDIT

peggy: KMS

steve steve was stupid to think this day wasn't going to get ruined. he expected the cops would have something to do with it, not rey. not his /best friend/. he glanced at peggy once she spoke, but rey was already retorting before he could catch up. "that's enough." the expression on his face was enough to kill. no more clumsy, adorable steve. rey awakened the beast that was captain america. "so where's derek this lovely afternoon?"

peggy peggy's head snapped up to glare at steve slightly. "so /that's/ what happened? you threw a coffee table because you were angry?" she asked in disbelief. but the expression on his face was not allowing for any chastisement at that moment, so she turned back to rey, watching her carefully. obviously she had done something to make steve, sweet, kind-hearted steve, angry and she didn't like it one bit.

steve: http://66.media.tumblr.com/902d809ec25de... LOOK AT THIS

rey "he's at home. i wanted to go on a walk, so here i am." she'd only mumbled a few words to derek before leaving, but she didn't tell him that. she was too afraid he'd poke fun at her for having a failing relationship. two at the same time. just in very different ways. "oh, but i see you two are planning your wedding. you know, that's funny. the last time steve was at a wedding, he brought along a date. but i'm sure he's told you that."

peggy: DED

peggy: REY ST OP

steve "yes. but you should let rey tell you what she said to make me so angry." he spoke through gritted teeth. he could almost hear rey's angry outburst about peggy and bucky leaving him. his hand flew up to his nose, pinching the bridge of it as she continued to spill like an immature child. "i brought natasha romanoff, my colleague. interesting that you bring up the wedding, rey. recall your little beer incident?" two could play that game.

steve: steve rn: (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'​́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'​̀-'́)ง

peggy "yes, i /would/ like to know that," peggy snapped to rey, crossing her arms firmly across her chest. anyone who upset steve had to deal with her. "i understand. you didn't want to be alone at the wedding. i get it," she assured him then turned back to rey, furrowing her eyebrows as steve brought up one of /her/ issues.

peggy: omg steve should do like a rly low blow

peggy: and then rey will just strt cr ying

peggy: bc i need them to make up

steve: how low u talkin

peggy: as low as u want

steve: idk how low i can go

steve: damn is this limbo

peggy: truth

peggy: idk like her being abandoned by her family or smth

peggy: or her problems with derek

peggy: or her family issues

peggy: rey has a lot of things to use against her ok

steve: i'll talk about her trying to get derek to propose cause i got an anon bout it

peggy: make it bad tho

peggy: or else rey will just be angrier

rey rey's eyes widened slightly as her expression darkened. now /he/ was digging. this was bad, and was surely not going to end well. she wished she had derek here to back her up. if he even would at this point. "well YOU'RE the one who had feelings for me while you said you were in love with /her/!" she exclaimed, motioning carelessly to peggy.

steve "why don't you tell her." steve looked down at his friend demeaningly, unable to bring himself to repeat her words. "at least i don't have to beg the love of my life to get marry me. i know who i love, rey, and you're sure as hell not one of those people when you act like this." the captain spat, grabbing his fiance's hand. "let's go, peg."

peggy: shIT

steve: shawty got low low low low low low

peggy "is that true?" peggy tried to ask steve after rey explained how he had feelings for her. if so... that was shocking. extremely. but at steve's words, she froze. ouch. that was a harsh one. but it was necessary. so peggy swallowed thickly and held on tightly to steve's hand before turning and beginning to walk away with him.

rey no... he couldn't have just said that. had he? he /had/. he didn't love her. once upon a time they were inseparable, spending every day together. first he had used derek against her, and then he outright said he didn't love her. not even as a friend. her hands clasped over her mouth in shock as her eyes fell shut, not even acknowledging them anymore. silently, she began to sob as she slowly crumpled to her knees on the ground, slightly ripping the comfortable pajama pants she had on, decorated with stars. she hated this. she wanted her best friend back.

steve "it was." he admitted swiftly, avoiding her glance. it was before he knew peggy was alive. it was a mistake, all of it was. she had a boyfriend anyway. right as he's ready to turn on his heel, rey falls to the ground in front of them. at first he thinks she's hurt, so he accesses her body quickly until he realizes she's just crying. oh no. was it really that harsh? his jaw clenched as her scene attracted attention from civilians in the park. "rey... just get up, okay?"

peggy "steve," peggy gasped as soon as she saw rey fall to the ground. they were friends at one point; and she knew steve wouldn't want to see his friends hurt. even though it was obvious she was just crying, she knew steve would still want to help. maybe. so she stayed back but watched carefully as he approached her again, hoping things wouldn't get worse from here.

rey rey simply ignored them both, covering her face with her hands and tucking her knees to her chest as she continued to cry. after all they had gone through together... that was what he now thought of her? simply because she was jealous? sure she had said some things that went over the edge, but he knew she hadn't meant them. but his words... he meant each and every one. and she didn't care that he was now seeing her break down right in front of his eyes. she couldn't hide her sorrow anymore. she cried even harder as she leaned forward slightly, threading her fingers into her hair.

steve steve pursed his lips, sending peggy one last apologetic glance before crouching down next to rey. he wish he could comfort her like he used to, but it felt too unfamiliar to him at the moment. "c'mon, rey. get up." he curled his hands around her forearms, making sure to be gently while he pulled her to stand. he meant the words in the heat of the moment, but now he was beginning to regret them. "i didn't mean it, alright?"

peggy peggy nodded her head swiftly as her eyes saddened. she knew he had to take care of this. he needed as many friends as he could get here in magnolia, seeing as they had enough enemies. and she didn't want one friendship to be ruined because of some simple jealousy. she kept some distance, but watched closely with a sympathetic expression as he tried to apologize.

rey "no... no..." rey cried as he, literally, tugged her up to her feet. it took a few moments for her to get a stable stance on the ground, but when she finally did, she began wiping at her eyes as her sobs became almost completely silent. "y-you did- you-..." she tried to say, but only wept harder, wiping at her eyes yet again and trying to move out of his grip. she was beyond humiliated and ashamed now and just wanted to go back inside where no one could see her.

peggy: wtf im tearing up

peggy: this is rly sad but its also bc of this study guide LMAO

peggy: but mostly bc of this bc aw

peggy: i miss my bbs

steve: omg dont crrrrrrrrrrrry

steve: im sobbing this sad ass song just came on my shuffle i feel it

peggy: right omfg

steve: speaking of shuffle wdyt about the plot shuffle

peggy: what about it

peggy: did they post it

steve: no they just talk about it when they get clique qs

peggy: oh lmao tru

steve: ive never done one b4

peggy: idk ugh

peggy: bc i dont want rey or peggy to be stuck with chars they've never interacted with

peggy: fml

steve: same dude

steve: can u imagine if peggy and negan had to be 2gether

peggy: riP

peggy: steve would be freaking tf out the whole time

steve: steve would literally bust through every door in magnolia to get to peggy

peggy: i love him what a nerd

steve the expression on rey's face caused an ache to spread through his chest. "i didn't, i-i swear." he murmured softly, struggling to hold back the lump in his throat. he couldn't believe he let his anger get the best of him and cause this. the last time he saw rey this upset, it had something to do with snoke. she was right, he lost everyone he loved. he always did. he looked back at peggy with forlorn eyes, almost as if he was making sure she was still there.

steve: im cryin

steve: ldr just came on im gonna fight

peggy: whats ldr

steve: lana del rey

peggy "it's okay," peggy mouthed to him when he turned to look at her, making a silent promise that she wasn't leaving anytime soon, unless he asked for privacy with rey. she understood that she wouldn't understand their friendship, and she didn't try to. it was for them, and none of her business. unless steve was being hurt.

peggy: nice

rey "you /did/, you did," rey sobbed, beating her fist weakly against his chest two times then just crying again. maybe if she wasn't so weak from the concussion, bruised ribs, and all the medication she was on, then she would've run away by now. or maybe she just didn't really want to run away. she wanted to stay, to bring back what they once had. "l-leave me alone," she pleaded anyway, attempting to tug her arms out of his grip, to no avail.

steve he let her hit him once again, her fists rekindling memories from their last fight. "stop, s-stop!" he curled his hands around hers, pushing them away from him. "stop this! stop trying to fight me, rey. i don't wanna fight anymore!" who would have thought, steve rogers, the kid who would fight anything or anyone, begging to avoid a quarrel.

steve: im screAMI

peggy: riP

peggy "steve," peggy gasped when he raised his voice, immediately stepping to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. but she didn't stop him from speaking to her. he wanted this solved, and she didn't blame him. so she let it continue, and would only step in if things got really bad.

rey "then why would you /say/ that to me?" rey sobbed in distress, trying desperately to tug her hands out of his, though, obviously, that was impossible. he surely wasn't even using half his strength and she was using everything she had in her weak body. "y-you don't want to be my friend, you-you don't love me anymore..."

peggy: im em o

peggy: r u here

steve: IM HERE

peggy: YEET

steve "i'm sorry," steve looked down, letting his head hang low. he was apologizing to both of them at this point for losing his temper and control. "yes i do, rey! i never said that," his eyes were wide in confusion, "do you even want to be my friend? every time we're near each other we fight!"

peggy "it's okay, steve. m-maybe we should take this somewhere more private, though," peggy whispered, noting how people were beginning to stare at the three of them. if steve was recognized... the location of the wedding would be the smallest issue.

rey "of COURSE i do! i-... i miss you..." rey admitted, her voice thinning out to hardly nothing as she said it, finally peeking her eyes up to look up into his own. then she sobbed again as she shook her head. "but-but not after you said that. n-no... y-you meant every word... e-every word..."

peggy: midnight rip

peggy: and still working on this piece of shit.

steve: jesus h christ

steve steve nodded, instantly cooling down when he heard her voice. peggy was his happy place. any place, any situation; if peggy was there, he could do anything. "no i didn't, rey." his brow furrowed and his face fell once again. "let's go home, okay? come with us."

peggy peggy held onto steve's arm gently, though he was still holding a fragile rey up. she wondered to herself why she looked so sickly, but kept her thoughts to herself as she led them both inside, and up to their apartment. "i'll get some waters," she offered and stole a kiss when rey wasn't looking before moving into the kitchen to do so.

rey rey didn't want to go to their house, to where the two of them spent their time together. but the stress was overwhelming and she needed to sit down, but she didn't want to go to her home just yet. she still wanted desperately to fix things with steve. she let him practically pull her up the stairs and past the door, feeling too weak to do so at that point.

steve "okay." steve whispered quietly against her lips. he lead rey's weak frame to the couch, passing over the spot where the coffee table used to be. "-uh, are you alright?" he questioned, refusing to let go of the grip on her arm.

peggy "you don't seem too well," peggy agreed, bringing over a glass of water for each of them and setting it on the little makeshift table they had in place of the coffee table. she knelt before them and looked worriedly up at steve, silently asking him what was going on.

rey "yes," rey exhaled as he sat them down on the couch, closing her eyes and bringing her hands to her head. "i... d-derek and i were pushed down a flight of stairs... i hit my head and got knocked out. and bruised a couple of ribs... w-we went to the hospital and now i'm on five different kinds of medication..."

steve steve shook his head at peggy's questioning look. he had no idea what was going on. whatever it was, it was more than just her being upset. she looked horribly fatigued. "what?!" he exclaimed loudly. the floorboards in the house might as well vibrated at his staccato.

peggy: omg steeb my bb

steve: he cares so much about his girls

steve: peggy, rey, nat, wanda

peggy peggy's hands came up to her mouth at rey's admission, looking over at steve in shock. oh, no. she knew her steve; and she knew the guilt would hit him /hard/ after this. "i-i'll get some ice," she whispered immediately and jumped up, jogging to the kitchen to get some ice to cool rey down.

rey for some reason, she assumed steve had known about her injuries. but how could he possibly? they hadn't spoken in weeks. "i-i'm sorry, i thought you knew..." she admitted honestly, nodding in appreciation as peggy went to get her ice. then she moved her hair out of the way so steve could see the stitched up gash near her temple, with sweat-soaked bandages covering it.

rey: im emo

steve way to go, steve. he felt absolutely terrible for everything at this point. all previous guilt he had was superimposed at her admission. "o-oh, god, rey. i'm so sorry." his gaze fell to his hands, which he quickly retracted from her forearms and placed in his lap. once peggy returned with the ice, he gave peggy his best attempt at a smile.

peggy peggy knelt in front of them yet again as she finished wrapping the bag of ice in a paper towel, giving a small, hesitant smile back to steve. "back of your neck, darling," she said to rey, handing it over carefully. any friend of steve's was a friend of hers. she was choosing to look past their differences, as they obviously wanted to as well.

rey rey shook her head. "i-it's okay, i should've told you..." she whispered, feeling bad that she'd, accidentally, of course, kept him in the dark about it all. it was why she couldn't stand up when he told her to, why she couldn't leave when all she wanted to do was run away. but maybe it helped them reconcile in the end. "thank you..." she whispered to peggy and placed the pack on the back of her neck, leaning back against the couch pillow with a slow exhale.

peggy: LAST PAGE

peggy: ITS SO LIT

steve steve instantly sat up from his spot once peggy administered the ice. she didn't need to be on the floor anyways. "i don't blame you." after the whole coffee table mess, who would want to speak to him? he acted like a complete and utter fool in their apartment and in the park. "i'm sorry."

steve: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

peggy "no, no, no," peggy mouthed reassuringly, shaking her head and helping him to sit again. "you sit, i'm okay." obviously rey wanted, or needed, his support right now, and she was sure he needed hers as well. they had just come back together, after all.

rey rey opened her eyes and looked sorrowfully over at steve, shaking her head gently. "don't apologize, it's my fault too... i-i didn't mean anything i said either, i just wanted your attention again..." she admitted. speaking of... she looked down at peggy sadly. "i-i'm sorry i was so jealous... it led me to do things that i wouldn't usually do. bad things, and it wrecked my relationship with the best friend i've ever had. so i'm sorry..."

steve steve responded to peggy's refusal with a tight lipped nod. "you didn't wreck anything." he murmured with sad eyes. "i shouldn't have got angry when you told me what you did. i acted the same way when you were with derek."

peggy: omg wtf when did u get here

peggy peggy smiled kindly and nodded to rey, gently patting her knee. "it's alright... everything's all better now," she reassured her with a light, soothing tone. obviously she and steve were very close, and it made her sad to think that they'd spent so much time apart because of peggy herself.

rey right... derek. that was a whole other ordeal that she still had to sort through. her eyes closed slowly as she let out a heavy sigh, readjusting the ice pack on the back of her neck. "i don't know what's going on with us now..." she admitted quietly, peeking up at steve again. "i want to be married to him... /so/ badly, but... but he's still not ready yet. and it's been /two months/... we've known each other for three of them... he doesn't understand that i haven't had a real connection with anyone for fifteen years... i don't want to waste anymore time in my life..."

[scorpluvrr]

Stay //Tom Holland x Reader

Tom Holland x Reader

Requested: by @yomahbro

Summary: Tom and the Reader used to date in high school, but the reader broke up with him, and now their friend got invited to a party Tom was having after the success of Spider-Man: Homecoming and brought the Reader along.

Word Count: 1208

Warnings: I can’t remember if I used profanity but it’s me so probably.

A/N: Lmao, my ass listened to My Boo by Usher and a bitch knew she had to. Oh i tried to make this gender neutral as always bc everyone needs heartbreak and love amiright.?OH and i gave up on finding gifs that actually fit cus im a mess lmao enjoy!!

Friday nights in London were always the worst for you. You never really went out, so while the whole city was out getting drunk in a pub, your ass was at home watching Netflix. But it wasn’t that which bothered you; it was the fact that all your friends teased you over it. Especially Jessie, your best friend since grade one.

“I can’t believe you never go out, you seriously need a boyfriend.” Jessie’s voice boomed through your phone’s speaker.

You automatically rolled your eyes, you didn’t need anyone. You were happy, even if it meant spending nights alone.

“I think I’ll pass,” you replied, “Thanks though, I appreciate your unwanted effort.”

The line went silent for a few seconds before Jessie quietly asked, “Do you miss him?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused for a few seconds, “Who?”

Jessie laughed through the phone, “You’re so dumb I swear Y/N. Tom. Do you miss Tom?”

Tom. You hadn’t heard that name in years; you hadn’t thought about that name in years. You broke up with him 4 years ago, at the end of high school and it wasn’t something you really thought about; he was a high school fling, nothing more.

“No,” you finally answered, “I hadn’t even thought about him since graduation. Why do you ask?”

“Because....” You could practically hear Jessie’s smile, “Hesbackintownandhesthrwoingapartyinhonorofthesuccesshomecominghad, and we are going! Be ready in 20!”

You blinked, trying to process what Jessie had just rambled about. Helllllll no.

“Jessie I am not go-”

The line got cut, and you knew you didn’t have a say in anything that went down tonight.

“I hate you, you know that right?” You yelled at Jessie over the sound of music as you both made your way through a lawn you knew all too well.

Jessie smiled at you, giving you a wink, “You’ll thank me after tonight, love.”

As the both of you walked in the house the smell of alcohol instantly hit your nose; it was strong and it reeked through everybody’s breath. The music rang in your ears, giving you a small headache; you really weren’t used to parties.

You made your way through multiple bodies grinding against each other, recognizing a few faces of the people you went to school with. Before you knew it you had lost Jessie, lost in a sea of intoxicated dancers.

You mentally cursed Jessie as you made your way to the backyard, stopping in your tracks when you saw a flash of shaggy ashy brown locks. Despite the fact that nearly everyone in this residence was a brunette, you could recognize those locks anywhere.

-

Tom’s head rested on your lap as your fingers brushed through his curly hair. You loved spending after school hours like this, with the both of you resting under an Oak tree as you played with his hair. Every now and then your fingers would get caught between the tangles, which caused you to yank on his hair which always resulted in Tom playfully fighting with you.

But today as Tom rested on your lap you noticed the way he would frown and twist his mouth every now and then.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked.

He opened one eye to look up at you, giving you a small smile. “Nothing, love.”

You twirled one of his curls around your finger, slowly pulling at it. “Tell me, please.”

He sat up, spinning around to face you, “Have you had your first kiss?”

His question had taken you by surprise, Tom never brought up your past relationships, let alone what you did with them.

“Um.. Yeah,” you began, “I have, why?”

Tom scowled, mumbling something under his breath that you couldn’t quite understand.

“I can’t understand you babe,” you reached out for his hand, “tell me what’s wrong.”

Tom avoided your eyes as he spoke, “I haven’t. And I’m nervous to even attempt to kiss you ‘cus I know you have more experience than I do and… I don’t know.” He pulled his hand away from yours, shoving it into the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s stupid never mind.”

You knew he was embarrassed, the redness appearing around his ears told you that. You liked that about him; he was pure and innocent and you loved knowing that everything the two of you did was his first time doing it, ever. You cleared your throat, “Put your lips like this.”

Tom turned to face you, a confused expression resting on his face.

“Look, pucker your lips like this.” You repeated, demonstrating for him.

He mimicked your actions, causing you to laugh, “Your lips are too out, keep it simple.”

He looked down at his lips, making his eyes cross in the process. You knew if you’d laugh he’d be even more embarrassed than he already was, so you tried your best not to.

“Now when I lean in, you’re gonna tilt your head like this,” You guided his head with your hand, leaning in closer until your noses were touching. You could feel his breathing against your skin, and with a quiet voice you said, “Move your lips slowly, it’ll feel right. Trust me.”

You leaned in completely, finally connecting your lips. He didn’t kiss back for a couple of seconds, until he finally moved his lower lip. It was awkward but you knew it meant it a lot to him so you kept moving your lips, until he finally got the hang of it.

That was the first of many kisses you shared with him.

-

You started walking the opposite way, pulling your phone out as you typed a text to Jessie.

Left, text u later.

Before you knew it your body had crashed against another, and for your merry luck it was exactly the person you were running away from.

“Hey,” he sheepishly smiled down at you, “I saw you turn the other way? You weren’t gonna say hi?”

You stared up at him, this was exactly what you wanted to avoid. Despite the fact that you broke up with him, he was always nice to you; you broke his heart and he still treated you in the nicest way possible. You were glad he got casted as Spider-Man because you truly hoped he would forget about you throughout his time away.

“Heeey Tom,” you swiped your hands on your hips hoping they weren’t sweaty in case he wanted to give you a handshake like he normally did to guests, “What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” he said oh so humbly, “Are you in a hurry? Do you think you could stay and chat for a while?”

You knew it was a bad idea, there’s been several rules about things you should never do with an ex, but Tom was different. Perhaps it was the way he never held a grudge against you for breaking up, or the fact that before you had been lovers you had been best friends. You knew so much about each other, and a part of you missed the nights spent as best friends. You knew you might regret this later on, but you also knew it’d be forever until you saw him again.

He smiled at you, and you smiled back, “Um, sure. Why not.”

[miikaelmalik]

Can you write a Mikadam fic?

babes, yes I can, i shoudn’t but I can lol. You didn’t seem too picky with the prompt in that ask right there so i just wrote this mess in class today, bc that’s what uni is for apparently  xx

———————————————————————————————–

Elias isn’t one to meddle in anybody’s affairs. Especially not with people he really cared about and that didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Like Even.

 Or just Adam and Mikael. Quite literally an affair in this case, huh. He didn’t want to know really.

They were all affectionate with each other, but there was always something different about Adam and Mikael.   He really didn’t want to know. But he couldn’t help but know, honestly, these boys were idiots.

Idiots that were in the middle of everything it seems.

Because as soon as the two idiots stopped being two idiots together, things just were.. off. “Okay then. Should we uh.. do a video maybe?”

“Yeah, why not?” Mutta said, burying his hand in a pringles can.

“Mhhhm.” it came for Yousef, who lazily reached over to turn Mutta’s arm up, turning the can over to make the remaining potatoe chips fall closer to Mutta’s hand.

Elias glanced over at Mikael who was squeezed in between the sofa’s arm rest and Yousef, hiding behind his phone. Something was wrong then. But instead of hearing a word from him,

Elias heard a loud bang of a plate hitting a glass table.

Adam had put it there harshly, now ripping the pringles can from the boys. He shook the last few chips from the can onto the plate. “There!” He barked and sat back down again. The others stared at him with open mouths, Mikael only shaking his head softly.

“Uhh..” Mutta started, glancing over at Mikael as well.

“What are you looking at him for?! You were the one too dumb to get them out! Are you sick or something?!”

“Relax!” Elias said, matching the loudness of his voice. “What’s up with you?”

“I think I’m going home.” Mikael said, standing up before Adam could answer anything. “But we just got here.” Yousef said, looking at Elias for help. “Yeah, bro, sit down..”

But he had already grabbed his jacket and backpack. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He muttered, walking out of the Bakkoush’s livingroom. They listened to the front door fall shut carefully, then only listening to the silence that was left behind.

“…Are you really still sitting there? Go after him?” Yousef asked with a dry tone after a moment. Adam scoffed under his breath, tapping his foot nervously. The boys only watched him, staying silent otherwise.

Adam groaned after another minutedramatically, standing up as well. “Fine, fine..” He said, picking up his jacket from the ground where he had thrown it down carelessly earlier. He reached for Mutta’s hand, bumping their fists in apology. “See ya, losers.” He sighed, following Mikael at last.

Again, the boys stayed silent. “…Look at us.” Mutta said quietly. “I feel like we’re a bunch of toddlers whose parents are divorcing.”

Elias blinked at him at first, then pressing his lips together to stop hysterical laughter from coming up. He didn’t succeed, ending up falling backwards onto his back, laughing loudly. What idiots!

Yousef saw a lot of things usually. He wasn’t ignorant towards the little details in everyday life.

Like the way Sana would close her eyes for a moment everytime her phone reminded her of prayer times. Or how she liked to salt every meal before actually tasting it.

They still didn’t really reach that kind of intimicy together, but Yousef had seen who had reached that level well before Sana and him.

He saw often enough how Mikael would lean into Adam when they were seated next to each other and really, when weren’t they. He saw how they would wear each other’s clothes. He saw how they drank and ate from each other. He saw how they were always aware of each other and how they’d always laugh about each other’s jokes, as bad as those might be.

Sometimes he’d even see the ridiculous stuff.

Like Adam taking Mikael’s cheeseburgers apart first to take off the pickle, before giving it to him. Because Mikael didn’t like them.

Or like Mikael suddenly carrying a pack of allergy pills and tissues in his backpack. Because it was spring and because Adam refused to go see a doctor about it.

Yousef never commented on it and he doubted Mutta and Elias realized all of these things anyway. He thought it was cute.

Sana agreed when he had told her. “I know.” She said with a brilliant smile. And of course she knew. She probably saw more of these little details than Yousef himself did.

“Like an old married couple, don’t you think?”

Mutasim didn’t know when they all agreed to just never talk about the thing but he never actually agreed on not talking about the thing and he and Mikael mostly talked about things anyway, even away from the boys.

“So. What’s up with you and Adam?” He had asked him one day.

They were on their way to the mosque, friday prayers, and it was a sunny friday too, everything had been okay - until he asked.

Mikael turned to look at him, mouth open slightly, eyes staring at him in horror

“Oh”, he remembered thinking. Was that why you don’t talk about the thing?

They fell behind, Yousef, Adam, Elias, Mr. Bakkoush and Even not realizing Mutta had messed up a tiny bit back here They were too busy explaining the customs to Even who was about to experience them anyway and it was just a standard friday prayer and  hellooo, why was nobody helping him here?

“Why.” Mikael said, still staring, breathing quicker. Mutta heard Mr. Bakkoush laugh loudly, clapping Even on the back for something funny he had said, Elias and Adam yelling, jumping on each other.

“I.. I mean, it’s cool?” Mutta said quickly, staring back at his friend. “It’s cool.” He repeated, glancing back at the others. “Maybe we should go now, or..?”

“Is it really cool?” Mikael asked, staring a bit too intensly, making Mutta look away again.

“Yeah, it’s chill. Wallahi. Now c'mon.” he said honestly, following the other boys again.

It took Mikael a moment or two before he jogged after him, grabbing Mutta’s arm with a small smile. “It’s chill.” He nodded, linking their arms.

The thing itself wasn’t a bad thing in their lives, right, so why ever not asking about the thing? The next time Mutasim asked, it wasn’t a sunny friday anymore, it was a dark rainy fucking day in the middle of the week. Probably. That’s what it had seemed like. Because now Even was gone, wasn’t he, properly gone.

And Adam was still not talking to Mikael.

“Is everything alright with you two?”

Mikael had looked up at him, nodding quickly. Lying.

“I’m sure it’s just. The whole thing. Just a shitty situation.” Mutta said gently.

Mikael nodded, looking away.

“He’ll come around. He knows Even only kissed you because he wasn’t.. feeling well?”

Mikael nodded again.

“You know him best, he just wants to be angry at something before he deals with his actual feelings… I’ll ask him about it, okay?”

And he did ask. Which ended up in a bit of a fight. And then in a four hour facetime call to Adam, because when he was finally  ready to even consider his feelings it was already two in the morning. Mutta slept well past noon that day, head full of problems he would rather avoid in his life, thanks very much. But they met at Elias’ place again that evening. And they seemed.. fine.

Mikael waved at him briefly, smiling brightly. He was leaning against Adam who was showing him stupid memes on his phone. Because now his mission in life was to make Mikael laugh again. Mutta smiled back at the boys, saluting the other two too.

He really loved these boys.

But damn him if he ever asks again.

[littlewolfdiaries]

What was the scary thing that happened to you?

okay so I don't know if these are related but these happened a few days ago and I know I talked about them here, you can scroll endlessly thru my recent posts and read the original posts of that day if you'd like; So, my best friend (I actually moved tho so we're not really "best" friends anymore but hey) is a tana mongeau freak (gonna say this again, trevor moran will always be a trillion times better he's my god). She wanted me to watch a video tana recently posted called something super clickbait-y like "I'm going insane... help me..." etc. It was about her "coincidences" and how she thinks she might be psychic or sum. My best friend said it reminded her of me bc I've been psychic my entire life (would love to explain all the weird shit I can do & what has happened to me, just ask bby). Sadly, though not really sadly, I tell her I haven't really had any coincidences in a long time. That night I go to bed. It's like 2am when I'm finished watching the video so sleeping seems just slightly appropriate. In the middle of the night, I "awake" to hearing the name michael whispered in my ear extremely loud. I have anxiety, I'm scared as hell, but go back to bed. In the morning, I wake up only to realize it never happened. It was a dream, but I could feel literal anxiety in my motherfuckin chest. Anyways, first thing I do in the morning, check my snapchat and clear out all those annoying ass streak pics of people's fucking blankets.It says a new person added me on snapchat: michael. A complete fucking stranger.Next few nights, I'm getting cravings for my cards. Sounds really weird but it's like that feeling you get when you need lotion really bad on your hands and it's just bothersome (if you can't relate to this you just can't fucking relate, give up). This brings us to last night where I get my mother's tarot cards as mine are in a box somewhere from moving. First three cards picked consecutively in separate rounds are the devil. This a common occurrence for me, but I was fucking scared. In my old deck there isn't a devil card so I would ironically pull the joker card constantly. I think after a while I stopped taking them out just because what the motherfuck am I right. I did a reading on myself (I know, I'm an idiot but sometimes it's useful). It was complete gibberish. I put them away, confused. This was last night.Today--- the shit that went down today was just ridiculous, though one part of it can maybe be linked to my lil psychic rebirth awakening shit. Most of it is just fucking weird and kinda funny.We went to this stupid firework festival in a sketchy town nearby (though only drunk 40 year old white golfing couples came??odd??) and my mother loses her keys. We go crazy looking for them as the "festival" ends and it's dark outside and we're scared as hell. I'm also hit on by some middle aged man a while after this. Once we finally leave, we all have to go pee. It's like maybe 10:30 (too lazy to check my snap story for the exact time) and we're driving around to find somewhere we can pee and maybe eat. The city was super dark and sketchy, we tried going into this Mexican restaurant but there was mad creepy looking guys outside so we were just like ight ight ight We literally pulled into a böjanglés (idk how the fuck to spell that shit) to have this bitchita MOUTH to us "we're 🙅🏼🙅🏼closed 🙅🏼🙅🏼 only drive thru ⏩⏩!!"We end up at this subway which was like the only place open. I got a bomb ass selfie in their bathroom and we order food. This boy laughs when I ask for a six inch. All is good, it's just him working, until this dude comes in. He's got sum dirty ass Jordan's, sweatpants, and way too long curly ass hair looking ratchet as hell. He's legit like the type that's been to jail and will likely go again. The counter dude goes "don't worry, this is my friend". We're like ???ok??? they joke around and this ratchet boy helps himself to mad drinks and food without paying. Then, he goes up to the counter and like hands something to the dude and they like whisper real close to each other. They go to the bathroom together, right? We're the only people there. There's like huge awkward sexual tension in the air and my friend starts bobbing her sub down her throat LMFAOO. They come out and got messy hair and we heard noises and shit.Then, they sit down. He shows the dude a pic and he's like "damn damn I can't believe she's only 13". JAJSJSKDKC NO And then they start quietly singing Spanish opera dead fucking serious. He makes these bird noises. I go to record and my motherfucking flash is on. It's so fucking weird. We leave, then start talking in the car. It was so much weirder in real life, I swear. Subways are small and it was just us during this. They weren't like a traditional couple, either, like they went about like they were distant friends (aka his plug). There was no affection, no signs they'd like each other. So, my friend has a sixteen year old brother whose name is Dylan. I'm like, damn daddy, because the name Dylan is my dream guy name. To test it, we ask her what he wants to be when he's older she fucking says air force I have to pick my jaw off the ground bc I always refer to an invisible person as "Dylan my future Air Force/Navy husband"(don't judge). Get this, his middle name is Michael. I'm not sure if that's related bc Michael is so common, but hey. Ponyboy Michael Curtis. On my story, I actually have a text to my mom in which I refer to my daddy I mean future husband oops. So, we're quivering bc his name and the Air Force?? Dude. Then, this cop car starts following us. I get a pic & video bc this bitch is on our ass? And soon enough, HIS MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTS ARE FLASHINGWe get pulled over, I get the whole thing on snapchat. It's like literally neverending, weird ass shit and I am horrible at creating the proper mood for you to really experience how much of a fucking disaster the night was, but try to envision it. It's 1:54 as I type this and I got home at six minutes to 12.

[star-shuttle-scout]

Ok I loved spin the bottle fic but can we get Steve teaching Jonathan how to kiss? Inspired by the scene in the trailer for As You Are.

( Can you hear me screaming, because this is a great prompt and I love it!!! Also just a side note but I cry at the As You Are trailer bc I’m so excited to see it so I can’t watch it anymore because it upsets me XD )(Also on Ao3 : http://archiveofourown.org/works/10227818 )

“Twelve years old?” Jonathan demands, seemingly outraged by the statement. Steve laughs and rolls over onto his stomach on the bed. He allows one arm to hang over Jonathan’s chest and tucks the other under the pillow he’s resting on, turning his head to look at the younger boy.

“Yeah, twelve… Wendy Beckman.” He informs Jonathan with a small smile. “She pulled me behind the bleachers after school and kissed me, best day of my young life.” He elaborates with a soft chuckle, staring at Jonathan’s almost blank expression. “Not all of us are Casanova’s though, most kids were kissing at fourteen and fifteen. What about you?” He questions, Jonathan glances away and makes a slightly indecisive noise.

There’s a moment of quiet, Jonathan stares over at Steve’s bookshelf with his lips curved down in a small frown. “I’ve… I’ve never kissed anyone..” He admits quietly, and Steve is both shocked and kind of sad at the realization. Kissing was great, it was the basic core of Steve’s happiness, he loved kissing. Of course it wasn’t the best thing for everyone, but c’mon, it was really nice!Of course, Jonathan never really had any friends, let alone suitors. It made his heart ache for the younger boy, who had suffered so many injustices over the years that it just didn’t seem fair. “Well… You’re still young, it’s not the end of the world.” He comforts weakly, patting Jonathan’s chest and offering a small smile when the young man looks at him.“Is it…. I mean, like is there a trick to it?” Jonathan asks hesitantly, and Steve feels like one of those cartoons where the lightbulb flickers to life over their head.“I got it!” He sits up, Jonathan looks alarmed at his sudden energy, but stays very still. It was a testament to how close they had become, Jonathan tended to flinch around him in the beginning, like he was expecting to be hit. Perhaps that was just a reflex ingrained into him about Steve, or maybe it happened around other people too… But Steve didn’t like to think about that, it made him even sadder. “Got what?” Jonathan asks in confusion, Steve smiles at him.“I’m gonna teach you how to kiss.” He whispers, Jonathan’s eyes manage to widen even more.“Teach me?” He practically squeaks, sitting up frantically. “How does that even work?” He demands, eyebrows furrowing together in that frustrated sort of expression that frequented his face so much. Steve reaches out and presses his fingers down on the wrinkles in his forehead.“Stop making that face, Byers, it’ll stick like that.” He promises, Jonathan swats his hand away with a scoff. “I mean we can practice, together! I’ll teach you how to kiss, so when the time comes you don’t have to worry about messing up.” He grabs at Jonathan’s wrist, who smacks him away again.“That’s a stupid idea.” He declares, Steve paws at him in an attempt to annoy him into submission.“C’mon, I’m not that ugly, man! I use chap stick, my lips are really soft.” He argues, grabbing Jonathan’s hand. “Look, feel.” Jonathan looks a little more amused when he pulls away this time. “You’re just gonna make fun of me.” He grumbles, crossing his arms tight to keep them out of Steve’s reach. Steve shakes his head and scoots closer, bouncing a little like an eager puppy.“I won’t, I promise. It’s a learning experience, of course you’re gonna be bad at it! But you’ll be learning from the master!” He gestures to himself grandly, Jonathan rolls his eyes with a snort. “Why would you wanna kiss me, anyway?” Jonathan demands, eyes on the bedspread. “Well I wouldn’t just kiss anyone!” Jonathan gives him a look that says he thinks otherwise, but he simply swats at him and continues. “I wouldn’t.” He says sternly, and Jonathan rolls his shoulders with a sigh. “If you don’t want to, then we won’t…. But the offer stands.” He shrugs, sinking back onto his bottom and crossing his legs.They’re quiet for a moment, and Jonathan is staring intensely at the bed beneath them. “Should I brush my teeth?” He asks suddenly, Steve pumps his fist in victory and grins.“Yeah, sure. We’ll both do it.” He agrees.-After getting prepared, Steve sits down on the bed again and pats the space across from him when Jonathan steps into the room. The younger closes the door and shuffles over with his head ducked, shy and awkward as usual.“Okay, now what.” Jonathan says rather bluntly after crawling onto the bed and getting into position, Steve smiles at him and scoots closer.“Well everyone usually starts with little stuff. The kisses you get after a first date or that your junior high crush gives you.” He takes Jonathan’s hand gently, settling their clasped palms on their crossed legs and giving him a serious look. “If you ever want to stop or you need a break, squeeze my hand.” He tells him quietly, watching Jonathan’s eyes go soft in response.“Okay,” He murmurs, and Steve gives him another few seconds before leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Jonathan’s mouth is still, almost like kissing a statue, Steve muffles a laugh and pulls back. “Sorry,” He looks absolutely humiliated, but Steve shakes his head.“No, no it’s fine.” He assures, reaching up with his free hand and grasping Jonathan’s jaw gently. “Just press your lips together a little, like this.” He purses his lips, Jonathan stares at them for a second before imitating the gesture. They kiss again, it feels a little more natural this time. They pull back, Jonathan is red in the cheeks and smiling gently. “Good, better.” He praises gently.“I feel stupid,” Jonathan tells him quietly, Steve shakes his head once more.“Everyone feels stupid at first, it takes practice.” He says, sure of himself. “Try kissing me, not everyone is gonna kiss you first.” He explains, Jonathan nods and leans forward to press his lips to Steve’s. It’s soft and sweet, something so very Jonathan. “Good, that’s good.” He smiles when Jonathan moves away.“I don’t have to do anything with my hands, right?” Jonathan questions warily, Steve shakes his head.“No, not yet. That’s for more intimate stuff… Like those couple kisses, wanna try?” He asks, Jonathan nods. “Okay, now this is where it starts getting a little more difficult. Because there’s a difference between beginning couple kissing and French kissing.” He tries to explain, enjoying the way Jonathan’s eyes squint in confusion.He places his hand on Jonathan’s cheek, smoothing a thumb along his jawline. He leans in and locks their lips, putting the slightest pressure against his jaw to coax his mouth open. Their teeth clack together, Steve pulls back with a smile as Jonathan groans in embarrassment.“It’s okay, Warren Hall did that to me freshman year.” He promises, and Jonathan looks stunned.“You’ve… Kissed guys before??” He asks cautiously, Steve nods. “Like for fun?”“Well yeah, man… I don’t discriminate.” He shrugs, Jonathan blinks a few times before wiping at his bottom lip gently.“Oh…” He whispers, and for a moment Steve thinks he might bolt. “Show me again,” He insists, and Steve smiles into the next kiss. They had a long way to go, but Steve had no problem in taking it slow. Note to self: Buy more chap stick this afternoon. The cherry kind.

[ortheaux]

[[MORE]]

i am in so much physical pain that i could feel it in my sleep and it permeated my dreams in the way that i was super disabled in a supernatural environment in my subconscious.

i recently went to a birthday celebration and i had so much fun! i hadn’t seen a lot of them in some time and everyone was as sweet and patient as i remembered - but i had forgotten that kind of inconsiderate thing that able-bodied/less disabled people do sometimes, where they don’t really plan ahead and they accidentally have me kind of walking around and doing a bunch of stuff that i sort of can’t! i should have factored it in bc i don’t usually notice it until i’m already in pain and i’m like trying to quietly mention ‘hey this hurts!’ without making a fuss bc ptsd is stupid and people offering me platitudes or acting like i didn’t say anything makes me so crazy bc it’s hard for me to admit that i hurt & my body can’t do something. there was a short period where i realised that it was happening again, and if i didn’t take it into my own hands things were going to get worse for me and i’m kind of the only one that can protect myself from that so i left in a way that like wasn’t super comfortable for me but i just met up with them later at the main destination and tried not to make a fuss or to get openly upset bc i understand!! i don’t expect people to think of me and everybody’s minds are busy y’know? we’re all thinking of stuff and working out socialising and stuff so it’s ok.

i was never truly feeling angry towards anyone and i still don’t but at the same time as i lay here, it’s much worse than yesterday and today my spine is hot, painful, swollen and there’s some actual bruising (i think i felt myself do this when i was going through the crowd at a bar and i had to twist it whilst going onto the podium) and that’s just the spine itself, my hips and shoulders are completely locked and throbbing, i’m having problems moving and even sleeping through the pain and i have a lot of appointments today that i’m going to have to reschedule so it’s just like difficult for me at the moment where i can think of so many instances where people just do this, like people have me do things like walk for a few miles bc they cba to get the bus and then wonder why i’m kind of upset afterwards but if u know exactly what i have as my friend or even my partner at one point, how can you think that this won’t hurt me? it wasn’t that bad this time tho, actually! it just all feels the same sometimes but i realised once i got into the cab like they hadn’t really done me too badly it was just oversight and i just needed to sit down and take some extra pills and stuff and i needed to remove myself from the equation so as not to like hurt myself further, especially as i was feeling it then, but i knew for a fact by then that it was gonna get a lot worse and it upset me a bit at the time! like at the end of the day my nerves are the only ones that will continue to die & my quality of life gets eroded along with my body. but honestly, i think that the responsibility lies on me, i do, i think that it’s up to me to separate myself and to do what i did recently but sooner and leave and go the straightforward way when everybody knows where they’re going and regardless of what it costs me monetarily bc the truth is that people that don’t go through it can’t keep you in mind that way when you often downplay your experience to them so that you aren’t ‘the disabled friend’ too much more often than you want for yourself/is ‘acceptable’ and that’s your regular ass example of ptsd + physical disability clashing, bc your fears and you trying to care for and protect others (and yourself!) shouldn’t be hurting you so i will def be setting aside some time to reflect on that and to spitball with some real solutions that i’ll write for myself privately. if u wanna live normally then you have to be expected to be treated normally so that’s the tea on that bc truthfully it’s my issue and i’m gonna have to just eat the consequences this time and learn to take it into my own hands and disallow stuff that causes me pain! bc honestly it’s more about the way i handle and have handled things surrounding this and my nonsensical prior quest to be inhumanly able than it is anything truly to do with my friends; although i may have a discussion with a couple of them about taking me more seriously when i have to admit pain too - i also have to start mentioning it before it hits like a 7/10! i do wish i could just grab some morning cake since i’m stuck in bed and i can’t sleep though - it seems like the perfect time to be a big piggy but i’d have to bribe my carer into coming to open the door lmao

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #15: Melon’s Creed

The Carmel Bunkers on Turó de la Rovir. Stone barriers overlook the great city of Barcelona. John Bishop Church quietly admired the breathtaking view on this day just on the precipice of the sun setting. He leaned over the wall and seemed oblivious to the camera filming him. He had the hood of his light grey jacket up. His boots and the bottoms of his blue jeans were covered in dirt from the hike to this locale. He spoke out into the ether. “Hey.” He spoke in a conversational tone and let that set in before continuing. “This whole thing has been a humbling experience. In this last year, I’ve had the privilege to do what I’ve always wanted to do. And to enter into a partnership that has been absolutely exhilarating to be a part of. Since NSFW’s humble roots, we have scraped and clawed our way to the top. There has been a common thread throughout. Somebody somewhere has claimed that they do what they do for a divine purpose.” He scoffed. “Whether it be the megalomaniacal ramblings of a prophet, the dissidents of chaos …” John sighed, perhaps perturbed at the mere mention of this. “...or the machinations of the melon gods. Such grand proclamations are fruitless in the face of the golden standard of tag team wrestling. Now, Mike …” There was a pause. He pushed off of the wall and turned around - looking to the stairs that descend down the hill. “Mike?” “Dude!” The redhead, backpack over her shoulders and clad in a grey unzipped hoodie over a Carlos Ruiz t-shirt, appeared over the crest of the hill a moment after her name was mentioned, puffing a bit as if she’d started running as soon as she realized how far she’d fallen behind her partner. “My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours, man. Phew…” Catching her breath, the Bronx brawler raised a hand, wiping some sweat off her brow. “Besides, I kinda got distracted. You won’t believe what I found. It’s full of so much crazy shit, I dunno if I can look at the world the same fuckin’ way again.” Reaching back, Mike unzipped her pack and pulled out a large, dirty, ancient looking book, fraying at the corners and tops of the spine. Embossed on the cover, with traces of nearly worn away gilding, are the words ‘ARCANA CUCUMIS’. “What?” Coming the rest of the way up and leaning against one of the curved concrete walls, Mike flipped the book open with care, as not to jar any of the yellowed pages loose. Shifting a bit, she beckons her partner over, holds the tome up, and points at one of the pictures within. “I found this in the catacombs when we split away from the tour group to… when we split away from the tour group. Look at this shit. It’s like, all of the Melon Club’s fuckin’ secrets. I had no idea they went this far back and had their nasty vines stuck in so much stuff.” “Oh no.” John placed a hand on the page, obscuring its contents. He looked at his friend with concern. “This is Leviathan all over again.” “Nah man. This is worse. They’ve been in all of humanity’s fuckin’ key institutions. Look at this for example.” “These fuckers killed JESUS, man. I mean, according to the text here, fuckin’ Judas served him that melon, ironically enough, right before the big J.C. said one of his people was gonna betray him.” John gave the warped portrayal of the Last Supper a once over. “So Judas was part of the Melon Club.” His tone was deadpan and in no way inquisitive. “Exactly. But it doesn’t stop there. Look here.” “This guy, I’m sure you know, is L. Ron Fuckin’ Hubbard, the nutball behind Scientology. According to the book, people have been misunderstanding his writings all this time because of an elaborate cover up. See, Hubbard didn’t really mean Xenu. He meant…” She jabbed her finger at a specific spot on the image. “...honeydew.” John was exasperated in his own diminutive way. “The Melon Club are pulling the strings of the billion dollar multinational religion because?” Mike shrugged. “Power. Control. Y’know, all that shadow ops supervillain shit. And it’s not just the major stuff either. I mean, take a look here. I really feel bad about this one considering week before last…” She flipped a few pages, landing on a classical Grecian image. “The Eternal Circle are unknowing followers of the melon gods.” “Exactly. Sad, but true. I guess they gotta come to terms with that now.” ”Mike.” It was like a plea to come back to reality. “Look. Religious iconography has been changed to suit the needs of whoever used it. I’ve never been much a believer. I mean, maybe something exists. But all along its been the melon gods?” His fingers gestured dismissively at the book. “This … doesn’t make any sense.” “Yeah, I mean, I guess that’s true. But the thing is, it’s not just religion that these fucks have been manipulating. See? I mean, I know you for one are gonna be seriously pissed at this one. See, it looks like around 48 BC, the ancient Roman scholars were on the tail of uncovering the whole Melon conspiracy before it overwhelmed everyone. Luckily for them, no less than the Roman emperor, Julius Caesar, was a devotee and he made sure to have the entire library burned to the ground before anybody could find out the truth.” John’s bottom lip quivered slightly upon looking at the image. “All of that knowledge.” But he shook his head. “No. So next thing you’re going to tell me that his assassination was ordered when the Melon Club had no further use for him.” Mike snapped the fingers of her free hand. “YES. Exactly that. And it’s not the only assassination they’ve indulged in either. I mean, Arya herself’s a trained killer, it shouldn’t be that big of a shock that these people have bumped off anyone who was a threat to their fucking organization.” Mike grimaced as she flipped the page again. “They never did figure out who Oswald was working with. Or for. And that one picture of him, people always thought it was altered in some way. Well it fucking was. See?” “The Melon Club assassinated JFK.” “It’s the only thing that makes fucking sense. I mean all this time. All these theories and debates and discussions. The Zapruder film analyzed frame by fuckin’ frame. And all this time, Oswald was a lone gunman cuz only a Melon Club trained assassin could pull off a ricocheting shot like that.” “But… why?” Mike exhaled, then drew a breath in. “Because they fuckin’ can. Because Kennedy’s embargo on goods from Cuba was hurting the fuckin’ melon industry and that’s how they spread their fuckin’ propoganda. All those sweet, juicy cantaloupes, canaries, and watermelons that people gobble up without a second thought, not knowing every last bite is only serving the forces that control their entire fucking lives.” “Mike. I don’t know what to say. Maybe we’ve been lied to.” “You don’t know the half of it. It’s to the point now that they’re just meddling in things just to make everyone miserable. The Super Bowl a couple seasons back. Patriots vs. Falcons. The Falcons had the Pats dead to fucking rights. Brady was getting his stupid handsome face shoved in it and it was glorious. But then after the half they mounted this miraculous comeback that by all fucking rights shouldn’t even have been fucking possible. How? I stayed up fucking nights, man. I had no idea how the rug got yanked out from under the Falcons so utterly. But now. NOW I know. Look at this. The absolute bastards.” “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” “Oh yeah. You probably didn’t see it. Trust me, you’re better for it. It fucking sucked. Tom Brady is an asshole. He’s the absolute fucking worst human being ever shat out onto this sorry planet and the sooner everybody realizes what an overrated piece of crap he is the better.” John closed the book. The pages gave off a fine poof of dust as they slammed together. “Okay. So The Melon Club are zealots who throughout time have manipulated the world in every which way possible.” And then he pointed to Mike and himself. “And acquiring our tag team championships are now part of that great design?” “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? They have their claws in everything else. Why else would people trained in the fucking deadly arts be getting in the ring with us?” “And so we are the only people standing in the way of a new dark age?” “I mean, I found this thing in a crypt if that tells you anything. We know too much. They’rereally gonna want to take us out now, cuz we know how dangerous they are and we’re telling the whole fucking world so.” Mike glanced at the camera, brows knit in a very concerned fashion. Her fingers twiddled nervously between each other. “They’ve been here for months. Walter and Arya Melon. Mixed results. Between the bouts of tedium and fruit puns, I’ve inclined to tune them out. They win one tag match. Against two teams that chose to not take them seriously.” He placed a hand on the book. “We’re taking the Melon Club serious.” John joined Mike in looking directly at the camera. “Dead serious.” “To be frank, I underestimated you guys. My partner didn’t cuz he’s smarter than I am, but I looked at that three-way and you were the last fucking people I thought we’d wind up fighting. Shit, I’d already done some studying and had to throw it all out the window. The fact you pulled that shit out is proof you shouldn’t be taken lightly, whether or not you guys are part of a giant all consuming conspiracy wrapping the world in melony dominance.” “I thought we were going to have a viking problem on our hands. But instead, two cunning opportunists came away with the victory. And speaking of opportunities, it’s clear that through the facade, you two are students of the game. We know what you see as an opening.” Mike gave a firm nod, reaching up with her left hand. Her fingers were free, but the palm and wrist were done up in a cast, by now liberally covered with the signatures of friend and fan alike. “I’m not gonna pretend to know what you think of us. It’s probably better for everybody’s fuckin’ sanity that there’s no telling what’s going on in those, heh, melons of yours. But like my partner said, I know, we know, what you may be thinking about doing. Let me tell you for one, this hand? It ain’t gonna be a fuckin’ issue. Better people in this business than me have defended titles with far worse fuckin’ damage. It ain’t gonna slow me down.” She twiddled her fingers and then balled them up tight, forming a fist around the covered palm of her left hand. “Yeah. We’re not mind readers but we know what you want. And there is no fucking way in seven hells that you’re gonna get it, not at WrestleFest and not ever. You’re welcome to give it a shot, but a lot of teams have tried, and they’ve all met the same fuckin’ end.” The plaster casted fist slammed into the opposite palm. “Knocked for Six, kneed in the face, Cherry Bombed, put to sleep, and checked by the Bishop and the Queen.” “That’s not arrogance on our part. That’s just what happens. What will happen. And I get it. You two think you have divine providence on your side. What bounty have the melon gods gifted your little club? A middle in the pack finish in the Rumble. Trading victories with Frankie Romono. And now this. An opportunity.” He reached behind him and shoved the book out of the sight of the camera. The focus was solely on Bishop Church, Mike McGuire, NSFW, the EWC World Tag Team Champions. A leveled gaze from Church was directed to the challengers. “An opportunity to be a footnote in our history.” Folding her arms as best she can, Mike gave a firm nod. “We’ve worked too hard and come too far to have it end here and now. Nobody’s found a way to fuckin’ kill us yet and neither will you. No assassins, no kooked out religions, and No Schemes of Fucking Watermelons are going to take us down. But if you really think you can?” Her grim expression melted into a smirk, a brief ‘heh’ slipping from her lips. “Come and get it, ya fuckin’ fruits.” John looked at his partner, eyebrows raised. “Wait, what?”