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theveryworstthing · 4 years ago

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So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

#long post #the addams family #Character Design #au #design challenge #i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person #oh god i forgot the cut lol

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aeonmagnus · 3 years ago

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Happy 20th Anniversary Robots In Disguise!

This year, and today in particular, marks the 20-year anniversary of Transformers Robots in Disguise airing in the United States. This was the official English language dub of the Japanese show Transformers Car Robots, which aired in Japan the year before. This show and it’s accompanying toy line were a big shift in the Transformers brand and affected how things moved forward in the new millennium. It was also a big influence on me and this website in it’s early years, so both the brand and TFW2005 may not be what it is today without it.

We hope you will read on after the break to check out our celebration of Robots in Disguise on it’s 20th!

Intro

The following is not a comprehensive article on the show proper, but rather a trip down memory lane from my personal perspective. It was a period of change in my life, in the fandom, in the brand, and in the world – all happening at once. Robots in Disguise was smack dab in the middle of it all and I think that’s why it still resonates with me all these years later. For a deeper dive into the world of Robots In Disguise you can check RIDForever.info, a site I maintain just about RID and Car Robots. The 2021 updates are here, and the 2017 round of updates are here. I’d also suggest checking the TFWe issue all about RID over on the 2005 Boards. Now, onto today’s festivities…

The Show

RID, and yes I say RID as if it is the only RID. If you must reference that other RID show and it’s off-shoots, refer to it as RID 201x, thanks. 😊 RID aired during the Fox Kids programming block on a Saturday morning, with additional episodes set to air each weekday during the afternoon hours. Instead of stretching the show out over the course of 30+ weeks with only a new ep each weekend, they were going to blaze through it non-stop. By the end of the first week, we would have been 7 eps in. That however hit a big roadblock due to 9/11 just three days later. While some local markets did air the episodes, many larger city networks, and especially east coast markets, stuck with news coverage. Many of us did not catch the early episodes on TV the first go around. In addition, several of the episodes got pulled from TV due to depictions of buildings being destroyed and other similar visuals which understandably could upset children that just experienced 9/11. So right off the bat, the new millennium and new era of Transformers were dealing with a new reality.

The show, for those that don’t know – was a weird one-off in Transformers history. We had G1 and then the G2 remixes for a bit. Beast Wars came on the scene and ran all the way through 2000 with it’s successor – Beast Machines. During the Beast Wars era – Japan did a couple of their own Beast Wars shows, non-CGI extensions of what we saw in the US. Their market wasn’t quite ready for full CGI so they stuck with traditional anime. When Hasbro decided to continue Beast Wars into Beast Machines, Takara went a completely different way – a traditional animated show which brought back Autobots and “Decepticons”, mixing them in with the beasts. They focused the toys on a couple new and complex molds, then filled the rest of the line with repaints of previous toys. Old 2nd tier Beast Wars toys, G2 Laser Prime, and even some Generation 1 molds in the form of the Combaticons got new life as new characters in this show, capped with the biggest TF of them all at the time – a repainted G1 Fortress Maximus, now Brave Maximus. It was the prototype for what the Transformers brand did for years to come – repainting old toys into new characters. Universe, Classics, Botcon, and even some Generations runs used this method to give us some great toys in the 00s.

While there is a very complicated and long explanation for how every single Japanese show is one continuity, to someone casually starting with Car Robots it was a refresh, a new story, a new arrival on Earth. The Autobots vs the Predacons, and eventually the Combatrons/Decepticons. It was a hard cut from the last 5 years or so of CGI Beasts. Hand drawn traditional animation featuring vehicle Transformers. It wasn’t G1, but many of the folks who grew up with G1 were just getting out of college around this time. They were rediscovering their childhood love of Transformers through Beast Wars, flea market finds, raids on their parents’ attics and basements, and for the internet savvy – imports of Japanese reissues from Takara. It was a perfect storm of nostalgia; a return to Autobots and Decepticons was welcomed by kids and adults alike.

RID and TFW2005

In the years leading up to Car Robots, I was just getting into the internet, coding, design, some digital music, and all the possibility that came with it. Beast Wars, especially when it hit Season 2/3 and the inclusion of G1 lore, really got me focusing on Transformers again as a hobby. I eventually combined the two newfound hobbies into one and Transformer World 2005 was born. At no point did I ever think it would last 20+ years and take over my life in the way it did. I started the full version of TFW2005 around April 2000, with some starts and stops before that. That was right around when Car Robots started airing in Japan. Through the magic of 56k internet, I was able to connect with folks in Japan and get them to send me VHS tapes of Car Robots. Really nice, high-quality tapes too, I still have them hehe. To the younglings reading – try to picture this: no youtube, no video sharing. The concept of streaming anything did not exist yet. Napster and the eventual peer to peer stuff hadn’t fully kicked off. Plus, we were all viewing the internet on giant computers in our rooms at the speed of 1x on your phone. Less than 1 bar 3G mobile speeds today.

Yes, someone recorded episodes from TV to video tape over there, did that a couple weeks at a time, then physically mailed them across the world to me, who then got them on the internet. Can you imagine waiting weeks to watch an episode of TV the size of a twitter profile avatar? Crazy. Uploading a full episode to the internet was a big pain in the ass, not easily done. I decided to get a converter that allowed me to plug my VCR into the computer and encode the tape into digital format. From there, it was reduced using Microsoft’s WMV technology so that the episodes were about 5 MB each. 30 minute episodes at 5MB each. Dimensions – 176 x 144 pixels. 4k video today – 3840 x 2160 pixels. You can imagine that video looked like crap. But we didn’t care – we were blown away. Old school animation, vehicles, some cool Japanese anime vibes, it was what we as G1 fans kinda had in the back of our heads on what Transformers should be in a new era, and we were seeing it. Most of us had no clue what they were saying or what was going on. Also didn’t care. I still to this day think CR/RID is better like that.

So one of the first things TFW2005 did on the internet was provide these super small windows into Car Robots and what was going on in Japan. It helped get US fans hyped up for what Transformers could be. It got us wanting the toys, and importers bringing the Takara toy line over were moving serious product. It helped swing Hasbro, who was planning to return to Autobots and Decepticons again down the road, to move that schedule up. Instead of running Beast Machines until 2002 and then starting what we now know as the Unicron Trilogy, it was cut short. Robots in Disguise as a toy line and show came over in 2001, ran fast and hard for a year with non stop releases, got extended because it did so well, and then faded into the Universe line of repaints. The new millennium of Transformers was here and Robot In Disguise kicked it off with a bang.

Wrap Up

As we all continue with collecting Transformers now, regardless if you tagged into the fandom during G1, Beasties, the Unicron Trilogy, the Movies, or just yesterday – let’s take the time to give Car Robots and RID some props! It set the tone for what the new millennium of the brand would be. It gave us some toys ahead of their time. It solidified the repaint as an accepted thing in the hobby. And it gave us one crazy 39 episode run of TV that’s still a fun ride 20 years later.

For those that would like to learn more about RID and Car Robots – I still maintain a Robots in Disguise website that archives everything I have or came across. There is a lot there if you want to go on a tour of all the awesome Car Robots and Robots In Disguise era stuff. Check it out at RIDFOREVER.INFO! FIYAH!

Let us know what you think and remember from the good old days of RID on the 2005 Boards here!

Epilogue

If someone over there at Hasbro is reading – can someone please figure out who owns the rights to the show in the US market and then get it out on DVD in full, finally? Work all that funky licensing stuff out (if there is any) and get it done. The US has never had access to it via an official release. Maybe get it up on YouTube like G1? Something. Announcing plans for that before the end of 2021 would be a nice 20th anniversary tribute.

#Transformers #Transformers: Robots in Disguise #20th Anniversary #Robots in Disguise #Optimus Prime #Megatron #Car Robots #Transformers: Car Robots

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ja-khajay · 3 years ago

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Stuff I read (and liked) this year

As promised, here’s a list of the novels, comics, manga, etc... I read this year, focusing on the ones I enjoyed and would recommend to people. Under a cut, this is going to be a little long.

-------- Books --------

Favorite book of the year: Stranger in the Woods, by Michael Finkel

Non-fiction. Based on the interviews of the man himself by the author, it is about a man who felt so unfit for society he decided one day to leave it, and spent the next 28 years as a hidden hermit in forest in Maine. The book details how he survived there, how he was eventually found, and some of his reasons for doing so. It’s a great reflection on the nature of loneliness.

Indian creek, by Pete Fromm

...Yet another detailed tale of living alone in the woods. This time, the diary of a student who spent a winter in the mountains to help tend for salmon hatchlings, and how he spent the rest of his days hiking, hunting, meeting the locals. It’s a fun little book who, being set almost the whole world away from where I live, was a nice way to travel.

Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

I don’t feel the need to explain this one since everyone and their mom has seen the movie adapted from it. The book, that I first read a decade ago before I actually watched the film, is a less romantized, more spirited telling of the same story. The writing is absolutely delightful and so is the world it paints, and it’s the first time in ages a book had me laughing out loud during my entire read.

-------- Comics (BD) --------

Favorite comic of the year: Monsieur Désire?, by Hubert and Virginie Augustin

A discreet young woman becomes a maid for a decadent, unbearable, byronesque young lord. Caked in the rigid and oppressive social hierarchy of the victorian era, you follow a mental and verbal joust between the two, as the lord tries his best to offend and corrupt his new unrelenting servant, to little success. The writing and especially the dialogues were stellar, drawing me into the tense atmosphere, watching this trainwreck of a character flamboyantly destroy himself. While there’s no precise content warnings that I can give, this is a mature and heavy story.

World of Edena, by Moebius

Anyone who’s followed this blog for over a month knows how much of a Moebius fan I am. Edena combines the vague, dreamlike, wordless storytelling from stuff like Arzach or The cat’s eyes with an actual plot. While I haven’t completly finished the story, the evolution of the main characters and how the story is told have been great to read through, and as always the art is beyond gorgeous. Unfortunately suffers from some good old sexism in the writing that even if minimal, tasted sour

Le roman de Renart, by Joan Sfar (book 1)

Sfar’s work always has a signature vibe of being dreamy and light without being light hearted, of being down to earth but drifting in the fantastical, and this one is no exception. It’s an adaption of a series of medieval folk tales I grew up with, who uses the same characters to tell an original story. If you’re familiar with icons like Renart as well as other mythological big boys like Merlin you’ll fit right in. There is something special in how the dialogues are written, who feel natural in a way that you’d overhear in a street corner and is very special to me.

The mercenary, by VIncente Segrelles

Another one I post about a lot on this blog. The mercenary is a king on the throne of fantasy cheese. The worldbuilding is interesting at times but the writing is a pretty pathetic display of glorious old time sword and sorcery sci-fantasy 10 years too late for it’s prime (warning for ye old sexism and orientalism that plagues the genre, cranked very high...) but you come and stay for the art. The entire thing is drawn in a series of hyper detailed oil paintings with an insane eye for technical detail, from the engineering of the weaponry, to the architecture and weather, to the anatomy of the fantasy creatures... Each panel stands out as it’s own painting which makes even flipping through it without reading the scenario a treat. Click here to see more of the art, in my Segrelles tag.

The ice maurauder, by Jacques Tardi

A short story about mad scientists entirely drawn like a 19th century engraving. In great Tardi tradition everyone is ugly and mean, it ends terribly, it’s both a hommage to the genre of late 19th cent. to early 1900s dramatic adventure novels and a critical eye on it, and it’s morbidly funny. Most people I saw online hated the way this was written but I’m not them and I really recommend this book. Die mad

-------- Manga --------

Favorite manga of the year: it’s a tie between the following two.

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto

Most wonderful comic I have read in ages. The story follows a bunch of semi-feral cats secretly living in the Louvre museum’s attic, and the small group of humans who share their life, walking through the museum as the night watch. When the cats are together, they are represented in a humanoid way, but still act like animals, and “become” cats again when a human is nearby. The plot is a sort of supernatural mystery centered around a kitten who walks around paintings. It’s a love letter to art, sincere and beautiful, with a unique art style and great characters.

Memoirs of amorous Gentlemen, by Moyoco Anno

A sex worker in early 20th century paris starts writing down a diary of the clients she meets, in a quest to cope with the troubles of her life. You follow her, her colleagues, and her bittersweet relationship with an abusive lover. I don’t have much words about this comic, but the art and writing both are amazing, it’s the perfect length and drew me in like little series had before. Obvious content warnings as this is an adult story that talks about sexuality, but also depicts both mental and physical abuse.

Hana, also by Taiyo Matsumoto

A very short story, this was not made to be read as a comic originally, but served as storyboarding and visual development for a play, and the way it is written follows that. Hana is a slice of life story set in a fantasy world, of a young boy, his family, his village. Despite the setting being an original one, the character interactions are refreshingly... normal, and there is no huge plot to speak of, just a bit of the life of these characters. The art is beautiful, entirely black and white, with a scratchy style and an emphasis on contrast. Matsumoto is on a speedy road to becoming my favorite manga artist haha

Delicious in Dungeon, by Ryoko Kui

While not marked as my year’s favorite, I still consider this series among my favorite manga ever. The art and writing are amazing, and it’s both heartfelt, well concieved and plain hilarious. The story follows several parties of dungeon diving adventurers each on their little quests with a premise of our protagonists, on a panic rescue mission, surviving in the dungeon by cooking and eating the monsters they come across. From a DnD party turned cooking manual dinner of the week beginning, the plot creeps up on you and slowly thickens. I don’t want to spoil anything about the overarching story of this because it was a delight to discover for myself. While everything about DinD rules, I am especially fond of the design philosophy of the author, who puts great detail in the practicality and biology of what she draws, as well as the character writing. Everyone even side characters has so much charm and depth to them, the cast is so diverse and entertaining...! Each character is just a bit lame enough but endearing, and has their own little backstory that shows in the way they exist. It’s a delight

Chainsaw man, by Tatsuki Fujimoto

I went into CSM expecting a borderline campy hyperviolent dumb fun thing to read and was very surprised to find an uncomfortably well written story about a teenager being groomed. The hyperviolent dumb fun fights are here nonetheless and the series still qualifies as shonen for some reason, but the more mature character writing as well as some truly outlandish visuals make it something very special. If you can’t stand shonen, not sure you will like it, but if you don’t mind it, worth trying.

Witch hat atelier, by Kamome Shirahama

The oh so elegant fantasy seinen every cool kid started posting about this year, who I also succumbed to and fast. Witch hat is hard to explain, as most of it’s plot revolves around the rules of the world it’s set in, specifically the regulations around it’s magic and the social and historical reasons for them. It’s about growing up, learning, disability, making art. You follow a little girl taken in by a witch as an apprentice, her magical education, and learn little by little why her lovely teacher is so willing to break a lot of rules... While a bit too gentle and pretty for my taste at times, Witch hat has great worldbuilding and explores sensitive themes I rarely see in manga, much less in fantasy. And Berserk wishes it had art this good

#j #long post

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rachelbethhines · 4 years ago

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Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past

While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show.

All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is.

Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.

Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing

Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’.

Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.

Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering

We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King.

For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing.

Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons.

It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.

Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her.

Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.

So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?

Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons.

The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them.

But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody.

None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning

Show don’t tell!

At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why.

We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat.

Eugene is the One in the Right Here.

Eugene’s right.

Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right.

If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs.

In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally.

But this isn’t a competent show.

But Lobster is for Poor Folk

Food history time!

Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.

Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s.

The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.

So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.

This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters.

This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted

Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?

Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now.

The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months.

I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast.

Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time.

We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago.

In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie.

Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.

Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace

I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary.

Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid.

So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review?

Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag!

People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene.

Where is Quirin, by the Way?

Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?

This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.

Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.

Lets Talk About Wasted Potential

Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.

But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel.

Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point.

You have no end of options here,

Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities.

Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.)

And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong.

And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on.

But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?

Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian.

This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft.

Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period.

So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar!

Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities.

Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series!

So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?

I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters.

I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later.

I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.)

And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins?

I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character.

So How Does Time Travel Work In This?

There are three types of time travel stories in fiction.

First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.

The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one.

Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat.

So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here?

Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then?

You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion.

Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong. Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.

What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense.

This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past

The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights.

We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated?

This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary. If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris?

Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?

Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die.

You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust.

Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel?

Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that.

So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?

I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.

Rapunzel Is Full of Shit

Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid.

Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite.

Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.

This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.

And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.

And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together.

Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story

The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then.

Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture.

Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.

Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke....

How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!

This is a Lie

No you wont.

Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.

And This is Now a Time Paradox

A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken?

In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future.

So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual.

That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide.

So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”

Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?

So What Exactly Did We All Change?

Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion.

All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know.

Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon.

Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized.

No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!

Let me explain narrative promises.

Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience.

Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on.

Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid.

A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied.

The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong.

That’s not what happened here.

Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig.

The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego.

I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple.

Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show

Speaking of breaking narrative promises....

TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film.

Way to fucking go.

To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself.

I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process.

This is the Death of New Dream

I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero.

Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.

How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?!

What the hell happened!?

Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants.

Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly.

Conclusion

This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole.

Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it.

Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want.

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #Eugene #anti-rapunzel #anti-tangled

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years ago

Text

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

#his dark materials #hdm #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #mrs coulter #will parry #serafina pekkala #ruth wilson #dafne keen #amir wilson #pantalaimon #john parry #lee scoresby #hester

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rina-writes · 4 years ago

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Mom and Dad

Summary: In the same way that Grayson jokes about being the dad, you are the “mom” friend. It never occurred to you how strange this was until you and your close friend Grayson are babysitting your cousin and someone actually mistakes you for a family.

Genre/Warnings: Fluffy, Secret Crush, Baby Fever

A/N: This is a concept I thought of that I forced into a fic. I’ve been obsessed with 90s aesthetic (particularly film and media and the “grainy” filters) so I am also adding some pictures that inspired me. I don’t own any rights to these pictures and thank you to these beautiful people for inspiring this fic!

You first met the twins on one of their trips back home to Jersey. You were visiting a family friend who happened to live near their house. It was super early in their YouTube careers, so you only knew from your family friend that the boys had dropped out school, moved to LA, and made videos online. Like most people hearing this, you assumed the Dolans were a privileged family with spoiled kids that only worried about when their next trust fund payment would hit their account. You were pleasantly surprised when, upon hearing that you were visiting, the Dolan family welcomed you into their home and threw a little barbecue for you and your folks. Not only were the boys down-to-earth, but they were also kind and easy to be around. You became fast friends and often spent time together when they came to visit.

It would be a lie to say that they didn’t play a role in you deciding to move to LA for college. They talked about LA so much, that you always wanted to live there. The couple times you visited, the twins showed you how much fun sunshine could be, even if you missed the four seasons of the northeast.

It would also be a lie to say that BOTH the twins were your motivation for wanting to move to the sunny state. You were a bit partial to the younger, but larger twin, Grayson. The way you would describe your connection was that you and Ethan were similar, but you and Grayson were compatible. You agreed on the things that mattered, but you and Grayson balanced each other out. Where he was impulsive, you were calculated. Where you came off aloof, he was gregarious. You liked to think you brought out the best in each other. You had a small crush on Grayson, but it was one of those crushes you only felt when you were near to him. When you were back in school, you didn’t think about him that much. However, when you hung out at their house or went out to grab a bite, you were completely consumed by him. His hair, his eyes, his laugh, his large hands...everything about him seemed to be crafted by the heavens.

You didn’t want your feelings to get in the way of your friendship, so you never told anyone how you felt. Of course, some people figured it out. Most girls around the Dolan twins fell for either of them. They had that effect on people because they would make you seem like the most important person in the world. Grayson definitely catered to you more than Ethan. It didn’t help your feelings for him, as you often spent time together doing menial tasks. That’s why you weren’t entirely surprised when Grayson offered to help you babysit your cousin. It was a combination of two things Grayson enjoyed: helping people and pretending to be a dad.

Your cousins were visiting you in LA from Jersey. Your first cousin and his husband recently adopted a toddler named Monica. While they were excited to have her in their life, you knew that your cousins needed some alone time. You encouraged them to build a couple’s day full of activities from the spa to dining at an exclusive restaurant. To ensure they could some of alone time, you would watch Monica for a few hours. It took quite a bit of convincing, like most new parents, they were attached to their kid. After multiple conversations, and almost begging, you finally convinced them to let you take her out for a fun day in Los Angeles.

You mentioned it casually the night before you were going to pick her up. You were at dinner with the twins and a few of their friends. Grayson’s eyes sparkled instantly.

“I can help you with Monica.” He grinned widely. “We can take her to this new museum for kids. It’s free entry on Saturday mornings.”

“Why do you know that?” Ethan asked, yelling at his brother despite sitting next to him.

“I saw an article about it...” Grayson yelled back. “Some people read about the news Ethan.”

“O-kay” Ethan put up his hands as he rolled his eyes. “Trying to show off for Y/N because she’s in college or whatever. I see you.”

“I’m not...” Grayson said, his voice getting softer as he glanced at you.

“Well, it works out.” Ethan shrugged. “You’re such a mom, Y/N. I can’t get over that Snap! The one where you were tipsy, but still putting all the girls in your sorority to bed. You braided that one girl’s hair!”

You blushed as there was a chorus of laughter from the table. “Oh come, on! I’m not a mom, I’m just responsible.”

“It’s okay, Y/N.” Grayson reassured you. “I have to take care of Ethan all the time.”

Ethan narrowed his eyes at Grayson. “You don’t take care of me...”

Grayson opened his mouth to argue, but you put up a hand to stop him. Once those two got started, nothing could get them to shut up.

“Tomorrow then?” You smiled, nodding at Grayson.

“Tomorrow!” Grayson confirmed nodding back. There was a moment where you locked eyes like there was some weird secret between you too, but neither of you seemed to know what it was. Blushing, you both awkwardly sipped your beverages until someone changed the subject.

When you went to pick Monica up the next morning, you were greeted by big hugs from your cousins.

“Oh my goodness, Y/N” Your cousin said, looking at you while picking up Monica. In the background, his husband put the final items in Monica’s travel bag. “Is that your mom’s shirt? I remember her wearing something similar back in the day.”

You laughed and nodded, looking down at the thin, emerald green sweater with four adjacent squares in red, yellow, blue and pink going across the bust. You pulled it down to cover your leggings that stopped at your ankles above your dark slip on shoes.

“I stole it from the attic. It’s kind of my style right now.” You grinned. “Do you like the hat?”

“The beret.” Your cousin’s husband corrected as he leaned over to tilt it to the side. “I believe that was your mother’s too.”

Your cousin and his husband had dated for a long time before getting married. They practically grew up together, so naturally, your cousin’s husband also knew your family too. It reminded you a bit of you and Grayson. Except, the dating and married part, of course.

“You got me!” You shrugged, laughing again. “The lady has great style what can I say?”

“Alright,” Your cousin sighed as he gave Monica a final hug. His husband kissed Monica’s cheek before your cousin handed her to you.

You took the little girl in your arms. She had a bit of weight to her, but she was still quite small. She was close to your complexion, with large eyes and a tiny mouth. She was quiet, constantly observing and didn’t seem to react to anything, not even being handed off to an almost complete stranger. You made a mental note to make sure she was by your side at all times.

“You have your pull-ups, your snacks, your wash cloths, your bandaids....” Your cousin tapped the bag on his husband’s shoulder. “You have it all! Anything you need, do not hesitate to call us.”

“Don’t worry!” You comforted them. “It’s only six hours. I’ve babysat for 12 hours and that was for three very....not nice children. Monica has veteran babysitter with her today.”

“You know we trust you!” Your cousin smiled. “We just know how much of a doozy it can be to take care of a toddler. Besides, I think we’re getting a bit of parent separation anxiety.”

You shifted Monica to your hip and reached out for the travel bag. “And she will be back in your arms in six hours! Make sure you are rejuvenated and relaxed when you meet her.”

“Well if you insist...” Your cousin joked, not without taking another longing look at his daughter

“Are you sure you can take both?” Your cousin’s husband asked as he prepared to hand you the travel the bag. “While she may try to trick you into carrying her everywhere, she can walk.” He added a laugh.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You nodded. Just as you were about to take the bag, you heard a knock on the door.

Given that it was a hotel, the three adults looked at each other with confusion. Your cousin opened the door to see a nervously smiling Grayson waving at you.

“Sorry I’m late.” Grayson apologized stepping in. “I didn’t want to take the Porsche so I borrowed a car from one of my editors. It took longer than I expected.”

“No worries.” You smiled, “But I thought we would meet at the museum?”

“I figured you would need some help.” Grayson grinned. “No sense taking a Uber if I have a car.”

Grayson looked around and upon seeing the travel bag made a soft ‘oh’ sound as he took it from your cousin.

“Oh, this is Grayson.” You introduced Grayson to your family.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Your cousin’s husband asked after shaking Grayson’s hand.

“No,” You laughed softly, hoping it sounded natural and not panicked/secretly thrilled, “He’s a family friend who lives out here in LA.”

“I’m family, and I don’t remember him being a friend.” Your cousin quirked a brow.

You could see Grayson’s face turning red and you cleared your throat.

“I think we should get going before the museum is no longer free, huh?” You said, changing the subject before the interrogation continued.

“Ha, good idea!” Grayson said, catching on quickly.

“Be safe you two!” Your cousin called as Grayson held the door for you.

You smiled as Grayson led you to the car. He was a little dressed up with a long sleeved white shirt, tucked into his dark jeans with a designer belt. You were so used to seeing him fully casual with no shirt and the tiniest shorts. It made your heart melt that he had gotten dressed up for Monica.

Grayson put Monica’s travel bag in the trunk of the black sedan, before running over to open the door for you.

“Take your time.” You told him. “We’re in no rush, right Mo?” You asked Monica, who was sucking her thumb and taking in her surroundings.

You eyebrows went up in surprise when you saw a car seat in the back seat.

“Ace Family...” Grayson explained, blushing softly. “I read that young kids should always have a car seat and I wasn’t sure if your cousin had one.”

“I think she usually just sits in someone’s lap.” You bit your lip. “But, I’m sure this is way safer. This is so thoughtful, Grayson!”

Grayson beamed at your words. It warmed your heart when he gave you the large goofy smile. It was his natural one when he wasn’t posing for pictures or trying to look hot. The smile that only came out when he was really happy.

You watched as Monica fidgeted in the car seat, making it almost impossible for Grayson to buckle her in. He started to sweat, the stains appearing under his armpits and you fought back a chuckle.

“Let me try?” You offered.

“Uh sure...” Grayson bashfully moved away, watching you as you distracted Monica with the jingling bracelet on your left wrist while you used your right hand to buckle the first clip. Monica reached for one of your charms and you took the opportunity to clasp the other belt that finished the part on her waist.

“Hands up!” You said, excitedly, secretly surprised that Monica followed your direction, but also happy she did since Grayson looked so impressed.

You buckled the seat belt that went over her body and leaned back to look at her.

“Feeling good, Monica?” You asked.

She nodded softly, looking off in the distance.

“Give me a wiggle.” And you shook your shoulders.

She glanced at you and mimicked you with the same emotionless expression.

Grayson laughed. “She is actually the cutuest.”

“I know right?” You said, looking at him with your lower lip jutted out, a pout in reaction to her cuteness.

Monica looked between the two of you before turning her attention back to whatever outside the window seemed to be so interesting. She was probably the most laid back toddler you ever met. This was going to be easy.

“Should I introduce myself?” Grayson asked nervously.

“Honestly, I should probably introduce myself too.” You laughed. “She was just kinda handed to me.”

You leaned over to be in front of Monica and she turned slightly to give you her attention.

“Now, I’m Y/N.” You said, putting a hand on your chest. “We met last year, but you probably don’t remember.”

You put a hand on Grayson’s shoulder. “This is Grayson.”

Grayson stuck out his hand for a handshake and you sputtered laughter.

“Grayson, she’s three she won’t...”

Monica took Grayson’s hand and he shook, giving you a smug expression.

“You were saying?” Grayson asked making you roll your eyes.

“Okay, okay...” You put your hands up. “You’re pretty good with kids...so far!”

You pointed at him, to emphasize that he hadn’t won you over just yet.

“You just wait, Y/N.” Grayson said, walking to the driver’s seat. You followed suit, and walked to the passenger seat.

“I’ll be such a good a dad, you’ll be calling me Daddy.” Grayson winked, and glanced at you to see your shocked expression. “Oh good god, not like that.”

You laughed, punching him lightly. “I’m just kidding, Gray. I know what you meant.”

“Oh sure laugh it up.” Grayson said, rolling his eyes as he started to drive. You glanced at him and the tips of his ears were still red from blushing. So cute...

When you arrived at the museum, Monica’s personality busted out. She loved the exhibits where she could touch stuff, enjoying the slime the most. You spent about 45 minutes just watching her sticking her hand in goop. You and Grayson took turns holding her and helping her make shapes with the material. You took pictures of Grayson, your heart melting seeing his genuine happiness playing with Monica. Every time she made her little toddler giggle, Grayson’s smile double in size. You were going to treasure these photos forever.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” You said to Grayson, who gave a quick nod.

You smiled and walked to the bathroom. After doing your business, you inspected your face. You dug into your bag and went to apply lip gloss. You fixed your hat a few times, still not sure if it really went with your hairstyle.

“Uhm, excuse me?” A woman about your mom’s age alerted you.

“Hi?” You turned around and you eyes widened to see Monica holding the woman’s hand, sucking her thumb.

“Monica...what...” You reached down to pick Monica up and the lady smiled softly. You were about to ask for an explanation, but the lady quickly provided one.

“Your husband said you were in here and your daughter wanted to use the bathroom. He said you would be the girl fixing her beret in the mirror.”

You blushed and laughed softly. “My husband, huh?” You shook your head.”Well thank you...”

“Come on, Monica.” You said to Monica who was holding on to your shoulder with her free hand. “Let’s go potty.”

You helped Monica use the bathroom, realizing that Grayson did not provide you with the travel bag, so you had to clean her up without the fancy wipes and creams you cousins packed.

With both of your hands washed, you escorted Monica out the bathroom who, the moment she was out, ran to Grayson who was waiting across the hall. He picked her up and she held on to him, resuming sucking on her finger.

“I forgot you would need this.” Grayson said, gesturing to the bag on his shoulder, while he shifted Monica’s weight to your hip.

“I know, my husband is so silly.” You narrowed your eyes.

“What did you want me to say?” Grayson said, looking around embarrassed. “Monica started crying all of a sudden saying she couldn’t hold it. I ran with her to the bathroom, but I couldn’t walk in and I wasn’t going to take her into the guy’s room. So, I started to explain that you were in there and she was like “Oh I’ll take her to your wife.” I didn’t want to correct her...it felt like a bad time.”

“I’m just relieved that Monica didn’t announce she had two dads.” You laughed. “Might have been a little awkward to explain with my husband waiting outside the door.”

“Yikes,” Grayson said, making a face. “Though, I am sorry. I didn’t realize it would put you in such a predicament.”

“It’s fine!” You tried to assuage his worries, laughing. “I mean, we’re like 20...it’s her fault for thinking this was our kid. And that we were married. She’s the weirdo”

“I dunno...” Grayson said, looking at the three of you in the reflection of one of the displays. “It’s not the weirdest thing in the world. Being assumed to be married to me?”

You noticed a bit of bite in his tone and you frowned. “You’re not the problem, Gray. I’m just saying we are a little young.”

Grayson didn’t say anything to you in response. Instead, he asked Monica if she wanted to go to the dinosaur exhibit again, another favorite of hers. She started bouncing up and down, and Grayson carried her toward the exhibit. You scurried to keep up, confused at what you said to tick him off. When you arrived, you saw there was a show for the kids. It was one of those shows where there was a “dinosaur expert” and some people in dinosaur costumes explaining each of the species.

Grayson put Monica down in front and went to stand in the back with the other parents. He was staring straight ahead, pretending to be very invested. You could tell he was pretending because his eyes were glazing over.

“G-Gra--” You started to say, but then his phone started to vibrate.

Grayson glanced down and ignored the spam call, showing his background. The background was of you playing with Monica in the slime. You blushed and pretended not to notice. Suddenly, it made sense why Grayson was so huffy. You didn’t want to get too excited, because you were still not 100% sure it was true.

“Hey,” You nudged him. “You’re going to be a great dad one day.”

Grayson glanced at you before looking forward. “Thanks...”

“While, I’m not ready to be a 20 year old mom,” You bit your lip, “I would be down to date one of my best friends...”

Grayson whipped his head to stare at you and you smiled. You unlocked your phone to show your wallpaper, a picture of him playing with Monica.

“Huh,” Grayson smirked. “I didn’t realize how creepy that is until I see it on someone else’s phone.”

“It’s only creepy if you’re not dating the person.” You smiled.

Grayson bit his lip and chuckled. “Thank goodness we’re changing that.”

Your eyes widened. “Are you asking me out?”

“At the dinosaur musical...” Grayson said, gesturing to the stage. “Of course, the only place where mom friends and dad friends can truly be ourselves.”

You laughed and Grayson continued to scold himself out loud for being the lamest person ever.

“Would it be weird to kiss someone at a dinosaur musical?” You asked, glancing down at the floor.

Grayson tried to hide his smile, but it was stretching across his face too quickly. He cupped your cheek and pecked your lips softly. As he began to pull away, you started to kiss back, keeping you two connected for a few more seconds.

“That was nice...” You said, smiling. “Really nice.”

Grayson put his arm around you and kissed your forehead lightly. You both turned toward the show and watched for a bit before Grayson leaned in and asked,

“Can we tell E we started dating tomorrow?” He looked away as he continued to speak forcing you to lean in to hear him. “I don’t want him to know I finally made a move at a freaking dinosaur musical.”

You laughed and grabbed the sides of his jaw to turn him to face you. “Maybe, but you’ll have to make it worth my while.”

Grayson gave you a mischievous grin as he leaned down to rest his forehead on yours. His eyes bore into yours causing the heat to rise to your cheeks. You blushed more as Grayson’s voice, suddenly deepening to whisper said,

“Remember that conversation about you calling me Daddy...”

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan scenario #grayson dolan imagine #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins scenario #grayson x reader #grayson x you #r-writes-fic #fic-dad

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munchcorner · 4 years ago

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Pastries (SakuAtsu)

Atsumu's a lonely baker who spends most of his time baking. It was his way of coping for when his parents had passed from old age and his brother, Osamu, had gotten married and started a family. He used to be surrounded by so many people he loved, but as time passes and they grew older, their time for each other became limited, leaving Atsumu feeling a little lonely. So, he builds his own bakery to keep him busy and fill his loneliness by interacting with his customers.

Atsumu had fun talking to various people. He's met students who buy his sweets as their reward for themselves for their hard work at school. He's met children who loved his cookies because they looked adorable. He's met lonely adults like him who think that life is boring and is a constant misery. He's met people who were enjoying life. He's met people who are in love and are content with their lives. But the most memorable one was the man with black curly hair and dark emerald eyes.

He was a man who looked like he who saw the world in monochrome. One where he just goes with the flow of life. Even his voice was monotonous when Atsumu strikes a conversation.

"You don't seem like someone who would enjoy cookies shaped like characters," Atsumu comments as he puts the cookies in a box.

"Well, they're not for me. They're for my daughter," The man answers, making Atsumu go, "oh,"

"Yeah, so how much?" The man asks as he pulls his wallet out of his pocket.

"That'll be 4867.52 yen," Atsumu answers and hands the man the box of cookies.

The man pays for it, and just as he turns around to leave, his phone starts to ring, and the man's face immediately lights up at the sight of the name flashing on the screen.

Atsumu wanted to ask if it was his daughter, but he didn't want to be intrusive, so he presses his lips together and remains quiet.

The man answers the call, and Atsumu could hear his daughter's voice, excitedly screaming, "did you buy them?! Did you buy it?! Please tell me you bought them! Please! Please! Please!"

The man chuckles as he pulls on the door, "Yeah, I have it, don't worry,"

Atsumu watched as the man walk away. He places his hands on the counter and softly smiles all to himself, "I wonder what it's like to have someone who looks forward to seeing you come home?"

The loneliness Atsumu had been feeling comes back after that little encounter, but it became stronger when he got home. He immediately dialed Osamu's number, hoping that maybe he's free, but he ends up sighing when he was directly sent to voicemail.

Atsumu doesn't leave a message and just ends the call before going to bed.

The next day comes, and the curly-haired man he met yesterday comes to buy a different set of pastries from him.

"So, did your daughter like it?" Atsumu asks as he packages the cupcakes the man just bought.

"She loved it," The man answers shortly, but unlike before, now he has this small little smile on his lips as he answers.

Atsumu hums in delight and gives the man the cookies, "I'm glad to hear that,"

A month passes with the man buying different types of pastries from him. They'd have small conversations from time to time, and as the days turn to months, they slowly started talking about more personal stuff.

Atsumu finally learned what the man's name was after three months of constantly talking to each other. His name's Sakusa Kiyoomi, a dashing name just like the person itself, but aside from Kiyoomi, he also learned his daughter's name, Sakusa Sayomi.

"Sayomi said she wanted to meet you," Kiyoomi says as he watches Atsumu put the cake in a velvet box.

"Oh, is that so?" Atsumu asks and puts a ribbon on the box.

"Yeah, if that's alright with you," Kiyoomi says as he takes the box and takes out his wallet to pay for the cake, "it's fine if you're not okay with it,"

"Are you kidding me? I'd love to meet her! I'm actually amazed that it took you three months to bring her here because you talk about her a lot," Atsumu says with a chuckle.

Kiyoomi puffs his cheeks and looks at his feet in embarrassment.

Adorable. Atsumu thinks.

"Do I really talk that much?" Kiyoomi asks, his cheeks flushed red and his fingers pulling on his slacks.

"Yeah," Atsumu answers, "so, when can I meet her?"

"What about tomorrow? Is that a good time?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Yeah, I'm cool with that,"

And with that, they finally bid their goodbyes.

The next day arrives, and Kiyoomi enters the bakery with an eight-year-old child holding his hand. She had this huge smile on her face as she enters, and her eyes immediately brightened up when she saw the pastries.

"Daddy! Look at the Kirara-designed cake!" Sayomi beams and pulls Kiyoomi to the cakes.

Atsumu chuckles as he watches Sayomi pull Kiyoomi around. She was like a bouncing ray of sunshine, and Atsumu couldn't help but wonder what it'll be like if he had a daughter.

Kiyoomi and Sayomi roamed the bakery jumping from one pastry to another until Kiyoomi finally pulls Sayomi to Atsumu, "Sayomi, this is Atsumu, the man who makes all the pastries you eat every day,"

Sayomi's eyes shine, and she lets go of Kiyoomi to run to Atsumu and hold his hands, "this hands,"

"What about them?" Atsumu asks and crouches down to be on the same level as her.

"I'm thankful for them because they make me my favorite treats," She answers and smiles at Atsumu.

"What about me? You're not thankful for me?" Atsumu asks and points at himself with a pout.

Sayomi chuckles and pulls Atsumu into a hug which surprises him, "of course, I'm most thankful for you because you make my treats and make daddy happy,"

Atsumu didn't expect what he heard, and so did Kiyoomi because when Atsumu raises his head to look at Kiyoomi, his eyes were wide, and his cheeks were flushed.

"How do I make your daddy happy?" Atsumu asks without breaking eye contact with Kiyoomi.

"By talking to him, silly. You see, daddy had been very sad lately, but ever since he started buying treats from you, he comes home happier," Sayomi says and pulls away, "that's why I wanted to meet you, Atsumu-san,"

Atsumu doesn't know how to respond properly, so he ruffles her hair and says, "I'm glad I can make your daddy happy,"

The rest of the day proceeds, with Atsumu, Kiyoomi, and Sayomi sharing a meal they prepared in the kitchen. It was already late when they finished talking, and Atsumu didn't want them to leave eating nothing but pastries, so he offers to cook them. But he didn't expect them to help.

The kitchen was too small for all three of them, but it was fun nonetheless. Atsumu found out that Kiyoomi cooks for them, but his knowledge in cookies was limited to a few kinds of pasta, ramen, and a few dishes. So, Atsumu decided to cook something Kiyoomi didn't know how to prepare so he and Sayomi could learn.

That night Sayomi and Kiyoomi leave with some leftovers from their dinner.

"Thanks for the meal, Atsumu," Kiyoomi says shyly while Sayomi waits in the car.

"it's nothing. I had fun," Atsumu says.

The atmosphere around them turned a bit awkward after what Sayomi said about Atsumu making Kiyoomi happy. But the awkward silence didn't last when Kiyoomi said, "Why don't we go out next time? All three of us,"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Atsumu asks, and Kiyoomi nods, "my invitation sucks, but I'm hoping you'd say yes,"

Atsumu laughs and takes a step towards Kiyoomi, "I'd love that," he whispers and kisses Kiyoomi's cheek.

Atsumu steps away and sees Kiyoomi staring at the ground with his cheeks flushed, "oh, Omi-kun, that was just a kiss on the cheek,"

"Shut up!" Kiyoomi says and turns away, "anyway, I'll come by tomorrow to pick you up,"

"Sounds good to me. See you tomorrow, Omi-kun," Atsumu says with a smile.

"See you tomorrow, Atsumu,"

The next day arrives, and Kiyoomi does pick Atsumu up with Sayomi. The date was fun, and it made Atsumu feel like they were a family. That one date alone was enough to make Atsumu feel happy and less lonely. But that loneliness stopped coming when Kiyoomi constantly asked him out on dates.

Every month, Kiyoomi would ask Atsumu out on a date. Sometimes, they'd bring Sayomi with them. Sometimes, it'll just be them. The dates were fun, and it made Atsumu feel happy and full. Kiyoomi and Sayomi shooed away the loneliness Atsumu had been feeling ever since his adulthood.

But sometimes, Atsumu would wonder how long it'll last.

The day came when Kiyoomi stopped visiting the bakery. Atsumu thought maybe Kiyoomi was just busy. But the text messages became lesser with each passing day until all Atsumu receives are good mornings and goodnights. It scared Atsumu that maybe Kiyoomi was over it. That Atsumu didn't make Kiyoomi happy anymore.

But after three weeks of Kiyoomi being cold, he asks Atsumu to meet him at their favorite restaurant. This made Atsumu think, "ah, he's finally breaking up with me," and despite the pain in his chest, Atsumu goes to visit him.

Atsumu arrives, thinking this would be the last time he'd ever meet Kiyoomi and Sayomi again. So, he was surprised when the lights opened, and all he saw were Kiyoomi and Sayomi standing in the middle.

"Kiyoomi, what's happening?" Atsumu asks, but Kiyoomi didn't answer. Instead, their families came out, each holding a letter to form the sentence, "will you marry me, Atsumu?"

Atsumu was stunned, and he didn't know what to do. He ended up staring at the words in front of him until Kiyoomi walks up to him and takes his hand before kneeling down.

"Everything might seem too fast to you. We've only been dating for a year, and yet here I am on my knees, asking you to marry me," Kiyoomi starts and kisses Atsumu's hand with quivering lips, "but you make me and Sayomi so happy that I think this is the only way for all three of us to be happy together for the rest of our lives,"

Atsumu's tears start to fall as he waits for Kiyoomi to continue.

"It's so bold of me to assume that we give you the same happiness you give us, but you just seem to smile brighter when you're with us. So, I'm taking this risk and asking you to marry me, Atsumu," Kiyoomi ends and raises his head to look at Atsumu.

"You idiot, who acts so cold to their significant other when they're about to propose, huh?" Atsumu asks and jokingly kicks Kiyoomi's knee, "you suck at this. You should've been sweeter, not cold,"

Kiyoomi chuckles, "I'm sorry,"

"I would've said yes if you weren't so cold, you know," Atsumu says, making Kiyoomi panic.

"So, are you saying no?" Kiyoomi asks and gulps.

"I'm thinking about it," Atsumu jokes.

But Sayomi seemed to have taken it seriously because she runs to Atsumu, clings on his pants, and says, "please, don't say no, Atsumu. I really want you to be my papa,"

Sayomi had tears in her eyes as she said it and made Atsumu's heart clench.

"I was just joking, Sayomi. I'd love to be part of your family. It's just that you're dad is terrible at this," Atsumu says after kneeling down and hugging Sayomi.

Atsumu can hear the sigh of relief Kiyoomi had put out and laughs before turning to Kiyoomi, "you're lucky Sayomi's here to make up for your coldness,"

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes at Atsumu's words, "right like you didn't want to marry me in the first place,"

"Why are you suddenly so cocky?" Atsumu asks in disbelief, "it's because you already said yes,"

Kiyoomi smirks at him and takes his right hand to put the ring on his finger and placing a kiss on it, "thank you for saying yes, Atsumu,"

Atsumu smiles, "No, I'm glad you asked me to marry,"

And ever since then, Atsumu didn't have to wonder what it'll be like to have someone waiting for you at home because now he comes home to his husband and their daughter.

--*--

I also have this posted on Twitter.

#sakuatsu #atsumu x sakusa #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x atsumu #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #haikyuu #haikyū!!#hq #hq atsumu #haikyuu atsumu x sakusa

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

Text

M’Baku’s Love- Chapter 4

Heyyyyyy y’all, enjoy chapter 4! Check out my masterlist HERE to catch up and read my other fics. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Word count: 3052 After their kiss, Monae seemed to be avoiding him. They arrived and left at the same time almost every day, but she always found her way to her car quickly and was gone before he even stepped out the door. About a week had passed before M’Baku grew sick of it and headed down to her office to confront her on the sudden change of behavior when he almost ran over N’Jadaka.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” asked the prince.

“Nothing.”

“Nigga you walking around here looking like ‘Hulk smash’, what’s wrong?”

M’Baku sighed, not in the mood to deal with N’Jadaka at the moment. He reluctantly gave in, knowing he needed to talk to someone before he did something stupid like barge in on her in her office like he had planned.

“She is not talking to me.”

“Who, Monae? The fuck you do?” His right eyebrow lifted as he eyed M’Baku curiously. The Jabari chief rolled his eyes.

“Nothing! I just- we kissed,” M’Baku sighed. “And she has not spoken to me since.”

“All I’m hearing is you’re a bad kisser,” N’Jadaka smirked.

“...Is your cousin still here?” M’Baku deadpanned.

“Nope, you’re stuck with me and Lil Bit.”

M’Baku started massaging his temples, he could feel the stress headache creeping up on him.

“Fine,” he gave in as he and the prince ducked out of the hallway and into an empty conference room.

“The issue was not my kissing, the issue is that damn ring on her finger. Sometimes she is hot, sometimes she is as cold as the mountains. I know she is engaged, but I cannot help but want to be around her.”

“Damn, you got it bad. What happened to being ‘unattached’ while you’re here? I was just talking to Neicey, the new Black American history teacher, about you and she seems like she’s down for whatever, if you know what I mean. She might be able to help you get Monae off the brain. Here’s her number.” He handed M’Baku a slip of paper. “You do know how to use your phone right?”

M’Baku loved the prince like family, but sometimes he just wanted to punch him in his smug face.

“Yes I know how to use my phone, N’Jadaka.”

“Don't ‘N’Jadaka’ me, I’m trying to help your big ass.”

“You are right,” he conceded with a sigh and looked down at the number in his hand. “You said her name is Niecey?”

“Yup. Go talk to her, she doesn’t have another class until 3. Last time I saw her she was down by the court.” N’Jadaka said while walking backwards and disappearing through the door, leaving M’Baku alone to think about his next moves.

Of course he wanted to pursue Monae, but he knew that would be a dead end with the way she was treating him now. He decided a little fresh air wouldn’t hurt and stuffed her number into his pocket before heading outside to the basketball court.

M’Baku saw her before she saw him, and once again Monae ran straight into him. Without even looking up she knew who it was. She’d know that body and that cologne anywhere.

“M’Baku! Hi, I’m sorry...again,” she tried to laugh off her nervousness.”Anyways, gotta jet!”

“Not so fast,” M’Baku lightly grabbed her arm. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I’m not-” M’Baku cut her off with an eyebrow raise and a look that made her heart beat in her pussy. “Ok fine I am.”

“Why though?” He pulled her in closer and she backed away.

“Because that kiss should never have happened and if I’m around you too much it might happen again.”

He smirked.

“So you avoid me because you cannot keep your hands and lips off me? That is understandable, I have been told I am irresistible.”

She chuckled, neither confirming nor denying his statement.

“Monae, as much as it pains me to say this, we could just stay friends. That way you keep your honor and I get to keep you in my life without you running away every time you see me. Eh?”

Monae was quiet for a moment, contemplating the proposal. Could she really be friends with this man?

“Deal.” She reached her hand out to shake on it and he returned the gesture.

“So where were you ‘jetting’ off to?” M’Baku asked her as they walked towards the front doors of the outreach center.

“Home, actually. I know it’s early but my sister, Jazz, is in town and I want to spend as much time with her as possible before her break is over.”

“Oh, well, have fun and give her my best.”

“Will do.”

And with that, they parted. Monae headed to her car and peeled out of the parking lot while M’Baku watched with a smile on his face. Friends? Who was he kidding?

Shaking all non-platonic thoughts of her out of his head, he finally made his way to the basketball court where he noticed Niecey heading right for him.

“M’Baku, right?” She asked, clearly knowing the answer already.

“Yes, and you must be Niecey.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

“I am. So N’Jadaka tells me you’ve had your eye on me...I thought you were feeling Monae for a minute there.” she laughed.

“Monae? She is engaged. So, would you like to go to dinner tonight? You pick, my treat.” he tried to play it off and change the subject. Luckily it worked and her face lit up at his proposition.

“Ok, it’s a date.”

_______

“Look, she is a nice girl, but she was so...dull. I had to try way too hard to engage her in conversation.”

“Maybe she was nervous?” Shuri asked, only halfway listening as she examined the communication device designs her highschool aged students came up with.

“For what? It was only dinner,” M’Baku sat down in a huff.

“Some people get nervous around people they like, M’Baku, it’s normal,” the princess said defensively.

“Ohhh, the plot thickens,” said N’Jadaka as he entered the room. “They didn’t like the flowers?”

M’Baku and Shuri answered at the same time.

“What flowers?”

“Shut up!”

“My bad cuz, I thought that’s what- you know what? Imma go-”

“Actually I would like to talk to you after we discuss the princess and her crush.” M’Baku added teasingly.

“They’re not- ugh, fine.”

“How did you meet?” M’Baku asked her, desperate to talk about anything other than his boring date with Neicey.

“I met them at a conference for Teens in Tech at UC Berkeley. They’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, but they barely know I exist and I didn’t send the flowers because I chickened out. There, happy?” she rolled her eyes and went back to her work.

M’Baku grinned, finding her nervousness a nice change of pace from her usual arrogance.

“Ah, young love. I do not miss it,” he mused.

“Oh like your situation is any better? At least my crush is single.”

“At least I can talk to mine,” he said under his breath.

“Not without her fiance coming up to the Center,” Shuri pointed behind M’Baku to a tall thin man in a nice suit heading down the hallway towards them.

“Derrick, my man. How’s it going?” N’Jadaka put on a fake smile and tried to dap him up, but Derrick wasn’t on the same page so it ended up being more of an awkward fist bump.

“Going good, going good. Just here to see my girl,” he turned and stuck his hand out to M’Baku. “I don’t think we’ve met. Derrick Jones, attorney at law.” M’Baku stared at his hand a little too long before shaking it.

“Lord M’Baku, Chief of the Jabari,” he introduced himself with a sly smile.

“Oh a chief? That’s awesome man, I bet all this is boring as hell to you huh?”

“Quite the contrary.”

“Cool...cool...well, I gotta go find Momo. See you all later!”

Shuri gagged as he walked away and they all looked at each other in disgust at the nickname.

“‘Nae’ would be so cute, but ‘Momo’?...For an adult human? Absolutely not, I don't know how she stands that man.” Shuri rambled on about her disdain for Derrick. “Did you see how he deflated when M’Baku introduced himself with his title? He thought being an attorney was such a big deal? Ha!”

M’Baku couldn’t help but laugh and agree with the princess. Even without Monae in the picture the man was insufferable.

“And he didn’t even acknowledge you.” N’Jadaka added, shaking his head.

“Nope, just the men.” Shuri smiled sarcastically before turning to the chief. “If it’s not clear already, I’m on Team M’Baku. Fuck that guy, Monae deserves better. Even if it's not you, she doesn't deserve...that.”

“I agree...and thank you, I knew I would grow on you eventually.”

“Yes well it would’ve gone quicker had you not insulted my intelligence when we first met. This ‘child’ can hold a grudge.”

“Oh I am aware.” They smiled at each other before M’Baku’s assistant found them and interrupted.

“Excuse me, M’Baku?”

“Yes, Deontae.”

“There’s a phone call for you from Abiola, he says it’s urgent. Something about a snow bank...”

“Ah yes, thank you. Udakus, I will see you both later.” M’Baku saluted them in jest and was on his way to handle his business when he overheard two people arguing in a conference room.

“You don’t have to! I make more than enough money!” said a man whose voice M’Baku couldn't quite place. He continued down the hall with Deontae typing away on his tablet, but stopped in his tracks when he heard the other person. They both looked up at each other, recognizing Monae’s voice immediately.

“But I want to! What part of that don’t you get? I like being here with these kids a-and these people. The Wakandans are amazing and-”

“I’m sure they are sweetie, but this neighborhood is dangerous and I don’t like you being here. Do you know how many kids are probably downstairs trying to break into my car as we speak?!”

M’Baku rolled his eyes and he and Deontae shared a look. No matter how nice his car was, it wouldn’t attract anywhere near as much attention as the Wakandan technology in the Center.

His disdain for Derrick grew as he realized he had just mentally defended the useless gadgets of the lowlanders.

“Nobody wants your stupid car Derrick! There are literal hovercrafts in this building, nobody cares about your Audi.”

Deontae stifled a laugh.

“Wow, so it's like that? Why are you lashing out at me?”

“I’m not lashing out at you, I just want to keep my job that I love and you didn’t even ask me about moving first!”

“I figured if you didn’t want to go with me we could do long distance. LA isn’t that far-”

“Yes it is.”

Derrick let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m taking this job whether you're coming or not. You need to figure out your priorities.”

Deontae’s jaw dropped and he wasn’t able to pull it back in time when the door swung open and Derrick pushed past the two of them. When Monae looked up and saw them her face turned to stone. She was horrified that they had just witnessed her in such a vulnerable state.

“My apologies, we were just walking by and-”

“We didn’t hear anything!” Deontae forced out. M’Baku gave him a look and he shrugged. He wasn’t good under pressure.

Monae wiped her eyes and M’Baku felt so helpless. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and make everything better...that and beat Derrick senseless.

“It’s ok, we were uh, pretty loud,” she said, avoiding eye contact with M’Baku.

“What do you need from me?” He asked her, his voice soft as a pillow. Deontae’s head tilted to the side as he took in the scene before him.

She thought about it for a moment, not able to say what she really wanted, which was to crawl into his big strong arms and never leave.

“Just some time,” she sniffled and cleared her throat. “Are we still on for lunch?”

“Of course-”

“Great, see you then!”

Monae breezed right past them and towards her office, and Deontae turned to see M’Baku’s dejected face.

“Wooooooow,” he started with a laugh. “Woooow… you like her don’t you?”

“Keep your voice down,” M’Baku whisper yelled, looking around for any possible prying ears.

“You got good taste, I’ll give you that. Shitty circumstances though.”

“Yeah, tell me about it…” M’Baku’s shoulders slumped as they made their way back to his office.

--------

“You have barely touched your burrito.”

Monae looked down at her plate and noticed he was right.

“I guess my appetite isn't too big today, too much on my mind.” She sighed and pushed her plate forward.

“I know it might be weird, but as your friend you can always talk to me about anything.” M’Baku knew he didn’t want to talk about Derrick, but he would do anything to make her feel better.

She looked at him for a few moments before she began. “I don’t know how much you heard, but Derrick got a job in LA and wants me to move with him. He’s always hated that I work here for some reason...I just wish he would have discussed it with me first, you know?” She twisted the ring on her finger and bit her lip nervously. M’Baku nodded to show he was listening, but his eye kept being drawn down to her ring. That little silver band with the fancy rocks in it that meant so much to her.

“He just- he means well, he does. He wants what’s best for me-”

“But should that not include what you want?” he asked in earnest, trying very hard to remain friendly. “If he is to be your husband, ask yourself if you can marry a man who doesn’t listen-”

“M’Baku”

“-to what you say you want. What do you see in him? He treats you like a child-”

“M’Baku, stop! Ok, I didn’t ask for this. It’s more complicated than that.”

“It doesn’t have to be…”

She looked at him as a tear escaped.

“It’s been seven years M’Baku, I can’t just throw that away!”

“So you would rather waste a lifetime being miserable all over seven measley years?”

She stared at him with a silent fury in her eyes.

“I knew this was a bad idea.” Monae called the waiter to bring her a to-go box and her check, refusing to let M’Baku pay for her this time.

“Monae, I-”

“Don't bother. I’ve had enough men telling me what to do for one day.”

M’Baku had never meant to make her feel that way, and as she left the restaurant his heart sank.

The walk back to the Center was a blur, as was the rest of the day. M’Baku couldn’t get her words out of his head. He decided to give the one person he knew he could come to with this a call, hoping they would answer.

“My son, how is America treating you? You have not seen any police have you?”

“Just in passing, mama.”

“That is still too close for my liking with those killing machines they carry everywhere. Are you eating? You look thin. I will send some stew with the king next time he goes to the Center.”

M’Baku smiled warmly at his mother’s unnecessary concern. He was eating just fine and hadn’t lost a single pound, but he would never in his right mind turn down his mother’s cooking.

“Thank you mama, I would love that. How are things?”

“I will be happy when you come back and I can retire again. The council is driving me crazy. This week the big issue is snow bank height. Can you imagine? Arguing over damn snow banks.”

He chuckled, missing his mother’s animated voice.

“Now, you have not called me all week. What is wrong?” she abruptly changed the subject.

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

She sucked her teeth and he could already picture the look on her face. It’s the same one he gets when he senses bullshit.

“M’Baku, I raised you. I know you, now talk to me.”

He let out a deep sigh, contemplating how much he should tell her.

“I met a woman here, but she is engaged to a man who does not treat her well.”

“Engaged? M’Baku I raised you better than that-”

“I know mama, but I did not know at first. Apparently here the women wear rings to signify they are betrothed.”

“Just the women?”

“Yes, it is quite an odd culture.”

“I can see that...well son if you truly have feelings for her and this man does not treat her the way she should be treated, what would it hurt to make your feelings known?”

“That is the thing, mama. She knows, we-” he sighed, knowing this wouldn’t go over well. “We kissed.”

There was silence on the other end of the line before a slow chuckle turned into a belly laugh, leaving him confused and speechless.

“Mama, are you done?”

“I am sorry son,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “You just reminded me so much of your baba. You know, we were in a similar situation. He was in your shoes, and I was the young lady. What is her name?”

“Monae.”

“Such a pretty name, I am sure she is just as beautiful.”

“Even more so.”

“Hm, I bet. Anyways, long story short, your baba stole me from my betrothed.”

“He what?!”

“I was supposed to marry Hodari-”

“The head fisherman?”

“That is the one. Our parents had arranged for us to be married, but my heart was not in it. Then along came your baba, all tall and handsome, and I never looked back. My point is, if it is meant to be then it will be, but you cannot just give up if you truly think she feels the same way you do.”

“I do not want to give up, mama, but I do not want to push her away either.”

“Then let her come to you.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @devnicolee

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #m'baku #m'baku x oc #black!oc #m'baku's love

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serenedash · 3 years ago

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I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

#the khux hyperfixation is REAL #but yall knew this about me #there's so much more I could say but it's 2am and this is long enough already #im rambling

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chicksung · 4 years ago

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One Last Time || Park Jisung

Genre: Fluff, best friends to lovers!au, nonidol!au. Part of the @neo-the-stars-net halloween collab

Pairing: best friend!jisung x fem reader

Word Count: 2.9k (I didn’t intend for this to happen)

Warning/s: Mentions of fake blood (red paint), singular mention of alcohol (not consumed by either party)

Synopsis: Senior year. Full of teenagers trying to pack the most into their last year of high school to make it memorable. You and Jisung have decided that this year will be the end of your tradition, trick or treating. Better make it count, right?

A/N: I was so happy to be able to be a part of this collab and a special thanks to @ncitythoughts for letting me bounce ideas off you. I really appreciate it, elle! This concept also one my favourites. I also couldn’t find a gif of it but the costume that jisung is in is his one from Halloween 2018! Enjoy, spookies!

Adding the final touches to your makeup, you smiled brightly at your mirror image and stood up, looking the same reflection up and down at your costume. You had recently found your obsession with Stephen King horror movies, your favourite of which being It. You knew that was basic, but the character design of Pennywise was something that continued to fascinate you. So, with your slowly growing sewing capability and enough dedication, you created your genderbent Pennywise cosplay. White top with ruffled sleeves, ruffle white skirt, a lot of white, but for a bit of fun (and what was pretty much canon) you had splattered the clean material with red paint, creating fake bloodstains.

Now your face was coloured white and your lips were shaded into the creepy and sinister smile that Pennywise always harboured. Once satisfied with your reflection, you turned to your best friend. “What do you think?” You called out to him, drawing his attention away from the whiskers he was drawing on his cheeks. He looked you up and down for a moment before smiling.

“Truly terrifying.” Jisung smiled, turning back to his reflection to add the last whisker. He placed down the eyeliner pen and stood up. Jisung’s costume was also mainly white, but his taking on a more animalistic and innocent portrayal, polar opposite to your ‘blood’ splattered clothes.

“Look at you, Jwi. So cute.” You said, playfully pinching his cheeks, causing him to groan.

“Y/N stop~ We’re not five anymore.” He stated.

He was right. You weren’t five anymore. You were both eighteen and in your final year of high school. Funniest thing about this whole thing is that you didn’t even know Jisung when you were five. The two of you didn’t meet until you were eleven and the seating plan the teacher had set up had graciously introduced you to Jisung, the soft spoken, gangly boy who spent way too much time in the gymnasium for your liking, yet the two of you became inseparable.

To be quite honest, you had no idea how it happened, it just did. Asking for solutions for the math homework ended up turning into the most important friendship you’ve made.

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you ready?” Your little sister, Gyuri squawked, running into your room in her cheap Halloween store Princess Aurora dress. The young girl was six and only came up to Jisung’s knee, but her excitement was measured to approximately seven feet tall. It was the first year that your mother had let her go trick or treating but only if you went with her, and knowing Jisung, he wasn’t going to mind the girl tagging along. You knew he was very much whipped for Gyuri and she looked up to Jisung like the older brother she never had.

“Give us a minute, GyuGyu. We’re almost done here. Why don’t you go and get the little bags I bought. They’re the purple and black bags I put on the kitchen table. There’s one for each of us, and our names are written on them. Can you do that for me?” You said, slowly shrinking down to her level so she hopefully wouldn’t be to intimidated by the creepy clown makeup, but thankfully she remained bubbly.

“I can do that!” She said, her hands curling up into little fists before running back out the door she had entered not long before.

“Does she ever just...stop?” Jisung asked. He was honestly jealous with how much energy the six year old had. You shook your head, a reminiscent shine glazing over your eyes. You didn’t recognise the trance you were in until Jisung was waving his hands in front of you.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Do you copy?” Jisung huffed, his big brown eyes almost touching your own. Your eyes finally snap back to now and you see how close in proximity your face was from his.

“Yes, I copy. Now get out of my face.” You rolled your eyes, shoving Jisung away from you. He chuckled and stepped away from you, a warm feeling buzzing in his chest. A buzz he recognised way too well, and one he only felt when he was with you.

“Okay you two, stand in front of the door. I think you know the drill.” Your mom smiled, camera clamped firmly in her hand as she gestured towards you and Jisung.

Another one for the scrapbook

You shuffled towards the tall boy, looking towards your mom and smiled. Jisung did the same. His heart shaped smile revealed his teeth and gums to the camera and your mother couldn’t stop herself from fawning over him a few seconds after the shuttering of the camera was heard.

“Aww, Jisungie, dont you just look adorable?” She cooed, making you roll your eyes. “Mom, stop it~ It’s embarrassing~”

“What? Am I not allowed to compliment someone?” She teased back before you rolled your eyes and strutted over to see the photo, a soft smile gliding across your face. This was really the end of your tradition, huh?

You and Jisung retreated back to your bedroom and from under your bed, you pulled out a scrapbook with its spine cracked from how many times it had been opened.

It had been your mother’s idea to scrapbook your friendship. Although you thought it was dumb at first, you’re really glad she had suggested it. Calling for Jisung to pass you one of your many orange gel pens, you made small decorations in the page before writing ‘Halloween, Senior Year’ at the top in cursive and glued the picture onto the page.

You couldn’t help but flick back to your very first Halloween together, you dressed in a cheap princess dress and crown (very similar to your little sister’s), and Jisung in an equally as cheap vampire costume, complete with fake teeth. Your pumpkin shaped candy buckets clutches tightly in your hands.

The more pages you flip, the more you watched yourselves grow. Jisung went to being shorter than you to being five feet taller than you and you grew into your body and developed as every girl did.

“God, I was so cringey back then.” Jisung groaned when he saw what picture you were looking at.

“And what makes you think you grew out of that?”

“And what makes you think that...that...” He tried to find something to fire back at you but all he came up with were bent bullets.

“Better luck next time, Sungie.” You smirked slyly, your hand creating a ‘V’ on his face and squishing his cheeks. He puffed his cheeks out and stood up, walking towards your little sister, who was busy imitating a spinning top in her dress.

“Gyuri! You silly, if you keep spinning like that, you won’t be able to come trick or treating with us!” Jisung told her, placing his hands lightly on her back to stop her. Gyuri stumbles for a second when she stopped before smiling up at Jisung.

“I’ve stopped now. Can we go?” She asked excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her heels and with a singular nod from your mother, she squealed (which rang through room in a pitch you didn’t like to think about) and grabbed her little black and purple bag and raced to your side.

“I take it you’re ready to go?” You asked the little girl, who nodded her head enthusiastically. You looked back to Jisung, but his eyes were trained to your sibling and an unconscious smile touched your lips.

“Have fun, kids!” Your mother voice broke your train of thought and you nodded.

“We’ll see you later, mom!”

As dusk turned to nightfall, you, your best friend and your little sister went to the doors of the decorated houses, which broke the familiarity of the normal picket fences neighbourhood. The excited rap on every house’s door was opened with an equally excited parent, placing candy into each of your buckets. There were a few who questioned you and your friend, asking if you were too old for dress up.

“It’s been our tradition for years. It’s what brought us closer together.” You would always tell them before taking Gyuri’s hand and skipping back up the path and onto the next house.

By 9pm, Gyuri was in Jisung’s arms, fast asleep, her pudgy cheek squished up against her eye. The stars were out now and the moon’s reflective rays were the only thing that lit up your path aside from the occasional streetlight. You opened up the front door, Jisung pushing passed you to deliver the six year old to your mother.

“Are you two going to stay out a little later?” She asked the boy. He nodded. “Yes, we are but not too much later.” He promised. Your mom smiled. If there was anyone who was just as whipped for Jisung as you were, it was your mother.

“Alright but no later than midnight, alright kids?” She called out as Jisung made his way to the door. With a call of reassurance delivered, you and Jisung left the house once more and began to wander the streets.

The memories from the past seven years crashed over your mind like a tidal wave, images of a younger set of best friends, running like crazy through the streets, playing chasy with all the other neighbourhood kids while the parents sat around and drank and conversed. The memories of your younger self. A younger friendship, a younger mindset, a younger crush.

Neither you ever confessed your feelings but you lost count of how many people (particularly adults) who assumed you were a couple.

“Do you remember when I would sleep over, if the sky was clear, we would say we would sleep under the stars but chicken out and just sleep in your room?” You reminisced on the story aloud, Jisung giggling in return.

“Yeah. We were so scared something like a cougar was gonna eat us or something.” His laughter picked up again, his eyes squinting as he did.

“The wild imagination of a child, I guess.” You concluded, falling back into comfortable silence before stumbling across a part of the neighbourhood that was all too familiar.

The woods.

Many games of hide and seek and murder in the dark were played here, the latter being played with other friends and children on the same street. You remember the nights of giggling until your sides ached, hiding until you had to find the seekers, being too good that you were always made the seeker.

“We basically know every inch of that wood.” Jisung cocked his head to the side, trying to peer into the wood, seeing if there were any creatures of the night lurking around. There weren’t but it wouldn’t hurt to check.

“I remember making so many cubby houses with Yuna and Seulgi. You, Renjun and Chenle wouldn’t let us into yours so we made our own. Turns out ours was much more stable when it came to windy days.” You teased, letting your shoes tease the edge between the woodly maze and the street. Jisung scrunched his nose up and folded his arms, mumbling something about Chenle being dumb and Renjun being just as dumb when it came to stability.

Jisung stood there for a second longer, before his eyes lit up with an idea. “We should play hide and seek.”

You snapped your head towards him so fast, it almost gave you whiplash. “Huh?”

Jisung looked at you and felt his chest was about to explode from the warmth inside it. “I mean, if we’re stopping our tradition tonight, might as well finish it properly. Let’s play hide and seek one last time, before we become boring adults stuck in office jobs and getting more paper cuts than hours of sleep.”

You couldn’t see why not

“Since it was your suggestion, you’re the seeker.” You declared as you dashed into the woods, looking for the same pile of old plywood that you would hide behind and no one could ever seem to find you. Jisung tried to protest but you were too far into the wood that his complaints fell onto deaf ears.

You could hear Jisung’s footsteps approaching and distancing themselves from the spot you sat. ‘Even after all these years, that idiot still can’t find me.’ You thought to yourself. You checked your phone and you had been crouched in the same position for ten minutes.

“Y/N! Y/N! Where are you?” You heard Jisung’s voice echoing from the other side of the wood.

“Over here, you stupid!” You called out, knowing that he was nowhere near close to finding you. He dashed back to the centre of the forest, looking around and trying to pinpoint where your voice had called out to him moments ago.

“Where’s here?” He asked, but this time, no reply. He groaned before calling your phone. You were quick to decline the desperate boy’s plea and watched as he tossed his head back in annoyance. You watched him slowly make his way closer to you, and you were in perfect alignment with his ankles. Yes. Yes. This is what you wanted.

One step. Two steps.

When he reached his third step, you grasped his right ankle, causing the boy to screech in a high pitch and high decibel rating. You were laughing your ass off, while Jisung calmed his racing heart (mind you, you were dressed as a psychopathic clown). You pouted at him before wrapping your arms around him.

“I’m so sorry. I saw the opportunity and I had to take it. Please please forgive me.” You pleaded, squeezing him tightly and listening as his heart slowed, but his heart still had a skipping rhythm to it.

“I suppose I can. But I can’t promise anything.” Jisung sighed out, plonking down at the base of a thick oak tree whose branches reached over the night sky, obscuring the stars that dimly shimmered above. You sat down beside him and sighed, your head resting against the tree.

Jisung watched over your smiling form, your fascination with the stars saving him from being caught staring at you. His heartbeat quickened once more and unbeknownst to him, a soft pink hue poked at his cheeks and reddened his ears.

“Y/N?” He called out to you, pulling you from your starry trance. You caught the flaming red that flowed on the tips of his ears.

“Yeah, Sungie?”

“Can I tell you something? Something I’ve been hiding from you?” His question was hesitant and his tone was shy, like he was scared of your reaction.

“Jisung, we’ve been friends for years. You don’t need to ask me to tell me something.” You chuckled, nudging his arm to try and get him to lighten up. The blush in his cheeks darkened crazily fast and he sighed.

“I’velikedyouforareallylongtimebu-” His words were jumbled and close together and you couldn’t understand anything he was saying.

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down, Jwi. Take a deep breath and try again.” You reassured him, turning your body towards him and rubbing his shoulders. Jisung followed your instructions, sighing out his breath and trying again.

“I’ve liked you for a really long time but I didn’t know how to tell you. I felt like tonight would be my last chance before I chickened out again.” This time, you understood him and you couldn’t quite still your pounding heart.

“You don’t have to accept and I know this might ruin our friendship but I had to shoot my shot, you know and Haechan said-”

“I like you too.” You interjected, your own cheeks dusting pink. There was a silence, filled with processed emotions and spiked heartbeats.

“So...”

“Guess Renjun was right.” Jisung snapped his head towards you. “What do you mean?” You chuckled at the boy’s confused face and hummed.

“He said that if we didn’t like each other by the end of high school, there was something wrong with us.” Jisung scrunched up his face and mimicked the words you just, imitating Renjun’s voice. “Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong.” You smiled, picking yourself up and dusting off your knees and butt.

“How long have you liked me?” Jisung asked, standing up himself as the two of you started to wander aimlessly. You looked up to the sky in thought, the stars helping you connect the question to the last seven years.

“Since I was like...13? 14? We had been friends for a while but I kept it quiet because you were still dating Heejin.” You could hear Jisung audibly cringe at the name of his ex-girlfriend. Yes, he and Heejin were only together for two months but she was awfully clingy and had tried to drive you and Jisung apart.

“You know what’s good about this though?” Jisung said, looking back to you, still seeing the sparkle in your eye despite it being almost pitch black.

“What?” No sooner had you said that, you felt Jisung’s lips touch the burning skin of your cheeks and your face flushed red. He laughed at you before pulling your arm towards the street once more.

“I should get you home. Your mom said to be home by 12, didn’t she? Don’t want her thinking I’ve Up and left with her daughter.” He smiled at you.

As the two of you walked side by side, like you had done for years, your pinky fingers wrapped around each other as you set off home. Down the same road you had walked for years, with the person you loved more than anything.

#kpop #fanfiction #neothestars #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #nct fanfiction #nct fluff #nct dream #nct dream jisung #park jisung #nct jisung #halloween collab #halloween #nct dream fanfiction #nct 2020 #jisung pwark

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deathvsthemaiden · 4 years ago

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Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

#asks #long post #I had to invent so many new categories for this.... necessity rlly is the cruel stepmother of invention after all #waver is a cactus but I am no desert rose... I need more I hunger for more

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lombredanslaeu · 5 years ago

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pure devotion | johnny x reader

▸ werewolf! johnny x human reader [angst, fluff] + chapter two

▸ summary: every werewolf is destined with a soulmate. other werewolves have werewolf soulmates, while the others have human soulmates. when you found out that you’re soulmates with your long time best friend, who is also the next alpha, you start to rethink whether or not you want to be with him.

▸ hope you enjoy this one! let me know what you think. if you have any feedback or requests, my messages are always open.

The existence of werewolves and vampires was not news in your town. In some strange way, everyone respected each other. Werewolves and vampires goes to school, malls, restaurants, and anywhere humans go to. These beings never harmed any humans unless they’re criminals who were deemed to be executed by the council. The council consists of three people - the mayor for the humans, the alpha for the werewolves, and the primus for the vampires. Everything was fine and dandy until you learned about your soulmate.

“I firmly believe in the idea that people who drinks latte have zero taste in everything.” Your best friend, Johnny, said beside you. It was finals week in your college and everyone’s mind has already melted into putty.

“Okay, first of all, you have 10 more pages of readings to study, and second, why?” You replied, looking up to him.

“Lattes are the worst type of coffee. I wish I could permanently erase the time I first drank one.” He complained before focusing on the readings in front of him.

Johnny has been your best friend since diapers. You are well aware of the fact that his father is the alpha - the most powerful wolf in their pack. As a human, you never fully understood the traditions and rules that apply to their community. Johnny often tells you stories about his pack. Almost everyone in his pack knew who you are - the alpha’s son’s best friend. There would be times when you cling onto his back as you speed through the woods as a wolf. You saw him grow from a small puppy from childhood to a huge wolf with the softest fur. Johnny was a beautiful man and his wolf did not disappoint. It was only last year that you knew that once the alpha have either died or resigned, their first born would be the next in line for the throne. As the son of the alpha, it was in Johnny’s nature to be a leader. He was headstrong, firm with his decisions, and never left anything unsolved. He also always knew the solution to almost any problem. You are a living evidence of this character of him as you two grew up together.

Johnny also told you about soulmates. The supreme deity that the werewolves worshiped was known as Fatuma. Once a werewolf is born, Fatuma will assign a soulmate to them and once they reach the age of 23, they will find whoever their soulmate is. According to the tales of the mated wolves, the first touch was like a rush of electricity to the whole body. It feels like the whole universe was in your veins. Some were friends with their soulmates since they were kids and it was only when they turned 23, do they feel the sparks of destiny. It was majority of the time that werewolves where soulmates with other werewolves but there are werewolves who are soulmates with humans. These wolves are deemed unfortunate by the community because humans would have to undergo the werewolf transition. Most of the time, the human body would not be able to take it and it shuts down, refusing the DNA the werewolf gave them. Only a few make it out successfully and that is only if Fatuma is on their side that night.

“You’re turning 23 next month.” You said to Johnny who was now scrolling through his phone and ignoring the stack of papers to be studied.

“Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that!” He said.

“Huh? How can you forget? Isn’t that the age that you meet your soulmate?” The words left a bitter taste on your tongue. You knew it was selfish of you to hate the idea of Johnny meeting his soulmate. You blame it on the fact that you might lose your best friend. Although you had other friends, Johnny was the only person who you knew will always have your back. You also blame it on the fact that you might be in love with him. You and Johnny were so comfortable with each other. You wouldn’t deny that there were nights filled with making out and any other thing you mother disapproves of. All of your firsts was with Johnny and it pains you to think that he will spend the rest of his life with someone else. You brush off your thoughts when he responded.

“Yeah, but you know, school is being hell and stuff.” He said nonchalantly. He quickly changed the topic when he saw it in your eyes that you still had some questions. Johnny could never leave you. He knew in himself that no matter who you both end up with, you will always still have each other. But he felt like there was a black hole in his stomach whenever he thinks about finding his soulmate. Maybe it was because of the pressure of being the next alpha or maybe because he really might forget you.

---

Dinner time at the Suh household came. Johnny forced himself to get up from his desk and have dinner with his parents. His mother never liked it when Johnny doesn’t at least sit with them during dinner. He loves his family more than anything but he knew that they were going to pester him with questions about his upcoming birthday.

“So, Jaehyun and Ten told me you want to have a party here.” His dad spoke. They were lenient with him because they know of his character and principles. Johnny loved partying and having fun like any other young adult out there. But he also knew when to get serious and get shit done. This is one character he learned from his father.

“Are you sure you don’t want a bonfire with the pack? I mean, this is the age you meet your soulmate, darling.” His mother adds.

“No, it would be a hassle for the people if we do that. Besides, if we do the bonfire, my vampire friends wouldn’t want to come.” He said. Although the all beings respected each other, not everyone wants to attend the traditions or rituals of each other. He didn’t want the others to not come to his birthday.

“Of course, John. I also need Kun’s help to prepare the dinner before your wild party.” His mother replied. Kun was a vampire who has the most exquisite taste in food. He knew how to make everything and he makes them extraordinary. “By the way, aren’t you excited about finding the one?”

“I am surprisingly excited.” He replied. “I just hope it’s not a human.”

“You can always choose an unmated human, son.” His father adds.

It’s true. If the human doesn’t survive the transformation, the werewolf is free to choose another human to be their spouse. They will be gifted with the ability to determine whether a human is mated or not. The thought of finding his soulmate never scared him until his age came close to 23. That’s when he felt the pressure and the fear. Through sleepless nights he searched for the reason why he felt like he was not ready for the revelation and almost every time, the first reason was you. There are cases where werewolves eloped with their human lovers, leaving their true soulmate behind. But Johnny’s naturally kind nature would never bear it if he left his soulmate. Sure, you weren’t the greatest person alive. You had your flaws and quirks that Johnny hates. Whenever he felt like he couldn’t get you out of his head, he remembers all the petty fights between you two. But as if it’s an instinct, his mind remembers the joyful memories of both of you. The sleepovers, the drunken nights, the fast-food runs after school, and especially the silent times where you just sit beside each other. No talking was present during those times but the fleeting feeling of someone who would lasso the moon for you. Johnny prayed to Fatuma that his soulmate wasn’t a human but almost after every prayer, he wishes it was you. It was incredibly selfish of him to wish that you were his soulmate. To put you through the risk of death haunted his mind day by day. But to say that Johnny loves you is an understatement.

---

It was only a week before Johnny’s 23rd birthday. He decided to spend a day with you. According to him it was because he needed new photos for his elective photography class. The truth is, he wanted to spend one final day before he lets go of whatever feelings he has for you.

“John, how much long till we reach your planned destination?” You complained. As a werewolf, he could go on and on and not be tired. But you, as a human, was the contrary.

“We’re almost there.” You rolled your eyes at his response. After a few more steps, you saw a cliff that gave the prettiest view of the sunset. Johnny has the gift of finding the most beautiful locations. He snapped a few pictures of you and you also did with him. After a while, you found yourselves sitting under a tree with the marbling colors of the sunset in front of you.

“Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?” He asked. You chuckled at the cheesy question. You didn’t mind having deep conversations with him. You’ve done that countless of times before.

“Hopefully I’m already a successful architect with my designs transforming this boring city to being extraordinary.” You replied. Your eyes lingering to the skyline in front of you.

You were so busy admiring the sunset that you didn’t realize that Johnny has been staring at you for quite some time now. He absorbed the details of your side profile. He grew up with you and he regrets that he never took the time to fully soak in your beauty. Sometimes he wish that fate didn’t have to be this way.

---

You were already tipsy from the concoction Taeyong has been giving you for the past hour. It’s Johnny’s 23rd birthday and somehow, he has never spoken once about the soulmate thing. You and your friends figured that maybe he didn’t want to talk about it since it stresses him so much.

You spotted him in the kitchen and decided to ask him if he already opened the present you got him. “Actually, I wanna open it with you.” He said and he leads both of you in his bedroom.

You watched up picked up the box. You decided to give him the vintage camera he saw on a shop a few weeks ago. You bought it immediately, in fear that he would be able to buy it first. He loves photography more than anything else and it pained you to see him so upset that his parents didn’t approve of him taking photography as his major in college.

“Oh my god, Y/N, this is incredible.” He said, his eyes never leaving the camera in front of him.

He approached you for a hug that you immediately welcomed and as your body collided with each other, that’s when the realization hit. Johnny felt like he was dreaming. In a state of shock, he wasn’t able to let go of you yet but his smile quickly faded. His eyes drifted to the wall clock of his bedroom. The clock struck at 10:34 pm - his exact time of birth. Werewolves find their soulmate the minute they turn 23. And his soulmate is you.

You felt like every nerve in your body was awake and functioning all at the same time. The haziness of alcohol disappeared as you realized what was happening. You are Johnny’s soulmate. A part of you was happy. You were over the moon at the fact that you were meant to be with the man that you have always loved. But the other part of you hit you with the fact that being soulmates with a werewolf would put you through the brink of life and death. You would risk it all for Johnny. You would do anything for him. But the thought of achieving your dreams would cloud your mind. The thought of finally being able to taste the fruit of your hardship, alive and healthy. You can’t help but be selfish.

You stared at him and you found no answers in his eyes. He was just as lost as you. You took a step back and you could have sworn you saw fear dominate his eyes. You wanted so bad to tell him that you just need time but you were too overwhelmed with mixed feelings that were drowning you at that very moment. So you just left and he just let you. He witnessed how your eyes shined when you talked about your dreams the other day. To think that you may never achieve that because of him, because of his nature, was like a stab to his chest. He loves you too much to do that to you.

You stared at the moon from your window. Your mother said there would be days where you think you know the answer but it would be only later you realize that you don’t. You always said to yourself how you would risk anything for Johnny. God knows the countless nights you prayed to let him be with you until the end of time. And it was granted. But somehow it didn’t feel right.

With one final sighed, you closed your eyes and wait for sleep to come. You wished that tomorrow you will have the answer.

fin.

a/n: hey! not too proud of this one but here u go, nevertheless. feedback is greatly appreciated!

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yourbleedingh3art · 4 years ago

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04.05.21 the trouble with sexual assault

personal essay / blog post

content warning // related to sexual assault, grooming, power imbalances

I was sexually assaulted on Valentine’s Day. Painful annual reminders are expected, and never fail to make their presence. I know I never got over it.

The assault itself happened when I was unconscious, thus unbeknownst to me until the morning after, when I woke up in my bed with no memory of how I’d gotten there. The realization didn’t fall on me. It was an attic leak I didn’t notice, cause I’d never go up there, until water’s dripping on me from the ceiling. Drip, drip. Harmlessly eroding the surface.

Healing was painfully slow. I was an unwilling patient. To me, there wasn’t anything to heal from; Nothing happened. It was an automatic choice. That couldn’t have happened to me. The denial did not feel like denial. It felt like nothing. It felt like the truth. Because nothing happened to me. Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn’t think about it.

Months after I was assaulted, I started to piece together I was assaulted. And everything hurt.

This isn’t about that, but what came before it.

Middle school.

No fun! Really, though. I hated middle school.

It hated me right back. I’m not sure who hated who first, but middle school and I got to being straight up enemies. And I wasn’t very friendly, because screw this school, screw everybody in it, screw this big stupid world where everybody’s having fun but me. I was dramatic, expressive, smart, negative. I didn’t seem to interest other people much. Yes for conversations, yes for homework, not so much for friendship. But I didn’t want their friendship anyway. I thought I was awesome. They didn’t. So screw them. Strike first. Nothing hurts if you didn’t care about it in the first place. In sixth grade, I decided I would never be dateable. It was just natural order. But I was gonna surprise them all. I just wasn’t going to care.

I feel like I grew up fast.

Everybody told me so, too. Is that just a thing they tell kids with no friends? I kinda thought so. But I saw their point. I was always talking to adults. I could sense my own maturity. On birthdays, how old is she turning? “11 going on 20!”

I started to really like that about myself.

High school was a lot different from middle school. It was bigger. And it wasn’t private and Catholic, which really made the biggest difference. And boys - they liked me here! They saw me here! I was reconsidering the Truths of the World I’d decided in sixth grade.

The boys that liked me, at first, were my own age. The flirtations were predictable. It felt good, so good, to be wanted. Everything right in the world was to be the one pined after, the one they notice, the one they talk about, just for the power that comes with it. I never liked feeling powerless. And I was damn tired of it.

I liked the feeling of being in control more than I liked any boy. Besides, I’d already decided they were all unimpressive back in middle school. And I was more mature than them. So I liked the juniors more. The seniors seemed too out of my league, too hard for someone with no connections. But I knew the juniors would talk to freshman girls from time to time. I had a shot. And it’s what I deserved, someone older, more suited for me.

I didn’t really have to try.

I guess they just found me. I started listening to punk music, fell in with the alternative crowd, started dressing different, looking different. I started knowing people that knew people. I became a familiar face and name in the community. My friends dated juniors. Or they fucked them, which was crazy to me, the ultimate unreachable status. I wanted it. Just to be able to say I’d done it. I was a complete virgin.

They found me. And they were the artists and the band members and the designers and upperclassman and how could I be so lucky. I was eager to impress. They introduced sex to me, told me regular sex was boring, not for people like us. People like us, we were 11 going on 20. We had a dominant and a submissive and it would be so hot if you would let me choke you and I can sit there and let him choke me and he’ll call me hot, doesn’t seem so bad, and I’m a man so I like to be more dominant, and if you like it that way, I guess I like to be more submissive. People like us, we work like that.

I was better than everyone else if I was People like us. I’d have more power. Everyone would want to be me. I sparked intrigue.

I played the part with enthusiasm. The little slut, the little whore, learning all the words they wanted, learning when to say what, and when, and what it did to people. I just couldn’t do the actual sex part. It terrified me. I had a low pain tolerance. I was scared it would hurt.

But it was easy to say I wanted to get slapped, spit on, degraded. It was making me stronger. It was making me wanted, which was making me stronger. What they wanted became what I wanted. I didn’t see the problem with that. For all of high school, I didn’t see the problem with that. When the juniors became seniors and then became graduates, still saying the same sweet things to me, I didn’t see the problem with that. When I finally did start having sex, 17, first time, I asked him to choke me and spit on me. And I didn’t see the problem with that. either.

I thought I had always been the one in control.

Which made me very stupid. And very easily controlled.

I was far from the only one. That realization was another painfully slow drip. This was wrong. I wasn’t a winner. I was a victim. And so were my friends. And none of it was normal. It never had been. Fuck.

It came after the sexual assault by at least a year. The realization I had been groomed, and the people I’d looked up to and modeled myself after, they’d been groomed, too. Fuck.

One big mess.

It felt like another problem. Even though it had already happened and the effects on my behavior and personality were cemented, the realization was the problem. Things are so much easier when you can frolick around in ignorance. I wanted it back. I hated when things when hard. It seemed like things were always hard. How was I supposed to take it?

And why?

Why me?

Why was this my fucking problem?!

I was upset first. Sobbing second. Confused third. All three now, fourth.

It wasn’t my problem alone. Thus, I had responsibility. Nobody else needed to get hurt like me. And if I continued not to do anything, they would. The bad guys were still out there. And they were winning. And all the small people they’d hurt had to watch. Motherfuck.

Everyday could be a day I throw a tantrum about the world being unfair.

But what else could I do?

Because I knew it had to be something. In the months it took me to process I had been sexually assaulted, I watched people befriend, praise, and publicly uplift my assaulter right in front of my eyes. It felt so wrong, but I’d decided the pain was my cross to bear, my price for taking so long. I felt so much anger with myself, for letting him live a life unaffected. I felt so much guilt. And it felt so unfair, he could be happy, when I walked around changed.

If you don’t say anything, victims hurt. Victims will always hurt, but they don’t have to hurt from silence.

Two days ago, I got back from a vacation in Florida. Before my vacation, a member of a formerly popular and adored local band, the Happy Yew, directly messaged me. The “formerly” is due to the fact Happy Yew frontperson, E. Streeter, had racked up dozens of accusations of inappropriate sexual behavior, assault, and grooming of minors. The band member was asking me if I had any firsthand “proof” of E’s misconduct. It upset me to think about the subject. I told him no, went to Florida, and tried to ignore the entire thing. Sensing a pattern here?

Two days ago, I got back from a vacation in Florida. And then I read some Instagram stories. The Happy Yew had disbanded upon E’s controversy, as well as publicly distanced themselves from them. (E is nonbinary and uses they/them.) This announcement, posted on their Instagram page, was erased. All traces of controversy had been scrubbed. The band members were actively on a “proof run,” messaging anyone they assumed had information to discredit the current portrayal of their frontperson. All signs pointed to this: They were going to let E back in the band. They were going to pretend none of this had ever happened.

But I think it did.

Because E was one of the juniors that groomed me. And I have proof.

#blog post

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