#it used to be so good now the pets have a fucking deductible

[queer-ragnelle]

Pet insurance refusing to process my claim you’re on thin fucking ice.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 21.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: smut. what if we made a drunk sex tape. The next chapter will be the end.

A romance between two adults with an unspecified age difference between them, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Links: Masterlist The Letters (Bonus Chapter)

Tag: @his-mochi-cheeks

Your perspective on the other side of that patio door was a haze. You were drunker than you thought. Your quick stop at the empty bathroom just inside of that patio didn’t help sharpen your mind much.

The journey back to the grand ballroom, back to the party, had an odd buzz of excited whispering from groups of guests that you passed. Everywhere and all around you heads were leaned in close as they all giggled and whispered about some event that had transpired; some shocking party scandal. As you drew closer to your particular group of people you began to notice an occasional pair of eyes glance in your direction and just as quickly those eyes would look away.

The buzzing through your veins seemed once fully attributed to the alcohol suddenly felt just a little less warming and more chilling.

They were all very thrilled with whatever the news was. Highly amused in a sort of rubbernecker kind of way. Whatever had happened had no like effect on their lives. Whatever had happened would only ruin someone else’s life or worse, their career. You tried to make longer eye contact. You tried to gague what sort of a scandal it was this time. All the while wondering if you had done enough in your life to be on God’s good graces. If the $25 paycheck deduction for the local animal shelter had bought you enough good karma to save you this time.

With their whispered giggles and their snickering body shaking secrets group after group you passed seemed to be incredibly worked up as the gossip seemed to be spreading through the hotel like wildfire.

That chill in your veins had spread and brought a sinking feeling inside of your stomach. You felt made just a little queasy by it.

What if someone saw.

What if a right place right time eye witness saw you and Baekhyun out there on that patio just now.

What if a party guest out on a smoke break just happened to be walking back up the sidewalk at the exact right time and happened to look up at the exact right time and happened to recognize your super sparkly dress or his blue satin suit and what if, what if, what if someone in one of the apartment homes directly across from patio was putting their child to bed after a bedtime story and as they were drawing the curtains to shut out the nighttime lights they happened to catch the both of you in full on, middle school textbook visual description of heavy petting, just so happened to know a guest at this very party who just so happened to have seen you both walk out there toward that patio and what if, what if, what if a phone call was made or a picture was sent and they put it together that you and Baekhyun had been sleeping together all this time; even and especially when you were his direct supervisor and in charge of things like his schedule and his bonuses and his promotions and his performance review oh my god his performance review the one you got fucked on top of and ruined and then directed him, as his supervisor to forge just as you had directed him as his supervisor to engage in sexual intercourse on company property on company time you were at least guilty of time theft and extortion and sexual harassment and fraud. Charges like that, even with the best lawyers, even if you beat the charges, your reputation would be ruined and you could face thousands upon thousands of fines and lawsuits and maybe even go to jail. Could you survive prison?

You weren’t the type to brag. This was a reality of your situation. But fucking hell, you were too pretty for prison.

Phones were buzzing on tables; lighting up around the darkened space like twinkling Christmas lights and you suddenly remembered you had one of those too and you pulled it out of the clutch bag you miraculously still had with you.

Your screen was lit up with notifications. Several of your work group chats had several unread messages and the messages were still coming in.

Your eyes scanned the incoming words desperate to find the subject of all of this mess.

‘No way!’

‘Omg I can’t believe it.’

‘That’s fucking crazy!’

You’d come into this too late. You quickly unlocked your phone and began scrolling up through the apparently bombshell that began all of this commotion and after several seconds of scrolling you came across the beginning.

‘!!!!!’

It started with an appropriate commotion and the next message instantly had you exhale a long sigh from deep within your lungs that seemed to take ages for all off the air to fully exit your body.

‘Chet just got dragged out by security and he’s being arrested for peeping in the ladies bathroom. Someone said he was laying on the floor taking pictures up skirts! What a fucking creep!!’

The relief felt like a light switch was flipped; with the instantaneous flood through your chest.

As quickly as the relief came a different worry. Despite the answer to your question being answered you still scrolled line by line through the flood of messages as your team members and other people in the agency discussed the news with ravenous delight. Word after word your eyes searched for his name. You searched for any possible connected to your name even if you had your doubts that these people would suddenly forget that you were also in this group chat if they wanted it start badmouthing you and spreading rumors about the incidentals behind why Chet happened to be in that hallway outside of the ladies room in the first place and who it was that might have been spotted having that big drunken loser onto the floor of that ladies room; surely they wouldn’t be doing that sort of gossiping in this group chat.

You were a manager but you hadn’t always been one. You knew for a fact that the lower tier employees had their own group chats and even amongst themselves they most certainly had broken off into even smaller chats where all of the juiciest bits of gossip were spread around.

You’d reached the end of the messages and the occasional buzz of your phone and signaled the arrival of something else was just a mirror of the same sort of sentiment.

‘He always gave me a bad feeling.’

‘Glad I never went on that date with him.’

‘I can’t believe this.’

‘He should be fired. Those woman would have to work with him again.’

This wouldn’t work. There was one person who you would ask to make sure your name and Baekhyun’s name hadn’t been connected to this in any way.

You found Sandi laughing and chatting near the appetizers and small bites tables.

Oh …food. You’d forgotten about food. Your drunken head swam and your stomach growled the moment you saw it and you slinked up silently right beside Sandi with your own little plate ready to grab something to eat.

“Sandi,” you whispered harshly beside her and she jumped and placed a palm over her chest, “I need to talk to you.”

“Jesus—” She groaned with her eyes closed, “someone should put a bell on you.” She mumbled under her breath.

You popped something that looked to be potato based into your mouth and chewed, swallowing quickly so you could drill her for what she might know.

You’d filled up your little plate and grabbed her by the elbow, ignoring the weird yelp she made when you pulled her behind you to some quiet corner where you could hear everything she said while also looking deep into her eyes for signs that she was leaving anything out.

“What happened with Chet?” You looked into her face as you said it and she looked back at you with the slightest pause in her words and mannerism before she actually started talking. When she did move it was to narrow her eyes and she looked over your face and then down over the length of you once before her eyes were back looking in yours.

“Maybe I need to ask you what happened with Chet.”

You looked down at your plate and popped another potato thing into your mouth, quickly grabbing another one because goddamn these were delicious, and you shrugged your face every so slightly as you chewed. You let your eyes land inside hers for a few seconds but then looked away again. You weren’t sure exactly why this woman was able to read you so well but you were quickly melting before her weirdly knowing gaze.

”What happened with Chet?” She said again in a quieter whisper and you sighed in genuine defeat knowing that this was going to take some explaining. She was going to need the whole story from the over the top flirtatious hugs as a greeting that he always insisted on, to the overheard conversation of Chet’s plans to basically conquer you for the sake of his ego and nothing else, as well as the way he seemed to feel that he was somehow owed something from you when you’d promised nothing and never had even given him anything more than professional politeness.

You had found a quiet place for this and had each grabbed fresh drinks and once you got talking you could feel her growing more and more irritated by that man’s terrible behavior. You heard the quiet gasps of surprise and her genuine laughter when you recounted the mop-water incident. You did your best to gloss over the entangled involvement of your boyfriend in this situation; but there was honestly no way around it when you got to the events of this evening that led up to Chet being outright arrested for sexually deviant behavior and the weird guilty feeling that bubbled up inside of your stomach when you thought that maybe he might be punished for something he didn’t even really do; not really.

Yes he’d grabbed you by the wrist and your wrist was still sore right now from it. You didn't know what his plans were with you. You didn't know if the man was just stupid or if he was actually dangerous but you definitely didn’t feel good about him being blamed for something he hadn’t actually done.

Sandi was giggling. You were feeling conflicted and she was too overcome with laughter to be of any actual help. Drunk Sandi was fun for scheming and gossiping, but you were looking for actual help here. When she finally got her giggles under control enough to talk, she did and with her words came the familiar relief you often felt when you shared any sorts of your worries with this woman.

“He wasn’t arrested. He was escorted out by hotel security, yeah, but I never saw any police. I think they just all got excited, you know how rumors are.”

“And you didn’t hear my name or,” you lowered your voice significantly and leaned in closer to her, “Baekhyun’s name connected in any way?”

She was giggling again, leaning closer as she whispered just as you had, “No, I didn’t hear his name, or your name, but Ma’am,” she emphasized the title with an over the top seriousness in her voice, “the way he looks at you…when he’s dancing with you…”

Her eyes had gone wide as her words trailed off and her mouth hung open briefly before she lifted a hand to fan her face dramatically. You had to cover your own face as the snort of giggles broke free from your chest.

“I don't know how anyone would survive that. You are strong. And I’ve never felt more single and more alone than I did watching you two dance — ohhh I’m getting mad just thinking about it.” She stood up with her empty glass and reached out her other hand for you to grab so you could come with her, “Come on, we need another drink.”

You grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her close to you so you could walk arm in arm with all of your silly drunken secrets and shared giggles. Both of your steps were a bit unsteady but together you at least had someone to lean on.

“You know you really are the most beautiful woman here tonight,” you whispered into her ear and she snorted out loud.

“Shut up. I look like a potato. Did you really have to go all out like this? Can’t you consider the rest of us?”

“If you are a potato then you are my loveliest sweet potato,” you leaned a head on her shoulder and she snorted and playfully pushed your head off. The rejection, even if playful, it only made you grip her arm tighter and lay your head on her shoulder more forcefully.

“No, my sweet potato!”

“He better appreciate how lucky he is.” She remarked seriously with a severe look down in your direction and you looked up at her curiously and her serious expression softened and grew into a reticent grin. “I’ll kill him if he hurts you.”

Again and again, Sandi was on your side. Again and again she was such a good friend you even played with the idea that maybe this wonderful woman who you always thought of so fondly might very well be your best friend.

“Sweet Potato,” you called up to her loud enough so that you were sure she heard you call her. She didn’t really respond other than a Quick Look. You gave her a little shake, “Sweet Potato Sandi,” you called again and she laughed and said a very drawn out and extremely informal, “whaaaat?”

“Will you be my Maid of Honor?”

Your question stopped her forward steps and she turned with surprised eyes to look at you. You straightened your spine and looked her right in the face with confidence and sincerity and after a few moments her shoulders sagged and she lifted her eyebrows with a tiny shrug on her face.

“Me?”

You nodded in earnest.

“Okay,” she said quietly with the slightest pink growing across her cheeks and the tiniest smile that fought to break free on her lips.

Eventually though, the smile grew wider and she giggled out an excited squeal that you quickly mirrored with a quick little jump up and down while holding hands in delight.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married!” She whispered through the excitement.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married!” You said just a little too loudly. She quickly shushed you and laughed noisily to hide what you had just said.

“Who’s getting married?” A familiar voice called out over the loud music from the dance floor. Marci had overheard and she was smiling wide with glassy eyes and a curious yet very drunk slur deep within her voice.”

“My sister—”

“My sister,” both you and Sandi said at the exact same time and Marci’s eyes bounced from your eyes to Sandi’s eyes and back to your eyes before her smile sagged and she looked up into the space above her head as she tried to make sense of what she was being told.

“Her sister,” she said and “Her sister,” you said in unison and you had to cover your mouth with your hand to keep from spitting out in laughter. Marci just blinked at you both with a sort of far away and very, very deep look of genuine and hopeless confusion.

“Whose sister?” She finally said and you leaned forward shouting over the music with a wide smile and you nodded your head excitedly, “yes!” You declared, purposefully deceitful and confusing.

You would be sure to add it to your list of many sins.

“Let’s dance!” You shouted and you and Sandi grabbed her hand and pulled the poor girl deep within the chaos of the heat and bodies of people dancing to the thumping beat of the dance song.

Time was a blur of songs and laughter. Occasionally, someone’s hands and someone else’s body bumped up against you.

You had somewhere deep inside of you, a quietly nagging voice that did its absolute best to remind you of things. Proper things. Managerial things like respect and your position as a person to admire and trust amongst these people. Sandi aside, most if these people had to take your instructions at face value and answer your questions, and at times respond to your professional demands. You knew deep down that you could not sever that image of yourself.

And you thought you did pretty well. You laughed with them and danced with them and shared in the joy of the evening while still keeping whatever parts of your mind you needed to keep intact for the sake of the dynamics of the team.

You experienced a few moments of control. You had a handle on it for a couple of songs worth of time; you began to trick yourself into thinking you could handle anything, even while drunk.

But when you saw Baekhyun, a switch was flipped.

He was with some friends; the same ones as before. A group of rowdy young men you hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet but he seemed quite close with them.

You saw them laughing together, exchanging in some sort of noisy banter; it felt quite different from the playful way he acted with you; this behavior seemed much more daring, much more primal. If you had to compare it with something you’d aliken it to a group of almost feral, unsupervised boys left to their own devices on a playground together. Had they been younger, you would not have been surprised at all to see blood drawn.

One such ‘game,’ (and you hesitated to use such a word as there were discernible no rules) involved messing with some party favor on the table in a way that was never intended to be used. The result was one unsuspecting member of the group, who hadn’t been paying enough attention to his friends given the amount of danger he should have felt by sitting beside them, this one poor man was smacked right in the back of the head. At least it didn’t seem too painful of a prop to turn into a weapon. He wasn’t the original target but had been smacked quite dramatically nonetheless for the crime of sitting too close to your sweet boyfriend who had actually been aiming for another person.

The result was the same. Someone was hit. Everyone erupted in raucous laughter and a swift punishment was enacted on the offender.

You watched as they all grabbed your boyfriend by the collar, bent him over at the waist and unleashed a folly of smacks upon his back.

The entire thing was loud and violent. Baekhyun’s yells could be heard over the music and he came back up pink in the face and laughing noisily ready for whatever revenge the rules of this game allowed.

There was alcohol involved too. Apparently there was some step in the game that involved shots of alcohol. You couldn’t make sense of any of it.

You knew you were staring but you felt enraptured by his behavior.

Who was this man?

Where did your boyfriend go?

Was this really the same tender man who held you in his arms and night and declared his never ending love and adoration for you?

He was noisy and crass and annoying and he delighted in the ridiculousness and stupidity of this whole thing.

You weren’t sure which one of them noticed you first. But there was a sudden and dramatic shift in the atmosphere that came over the entire group and it manifested as a literal wave of change that surged from person to person starting from someone in the far right edge.

There was straightening of suit jackets and smoothing of hairstyles that had been messed by the ruckus. There was frantic tapping and wide eyes that motioned in your direction followed immediately by whichever onlooker quickly looking toward Baekhyun. Hands were on him, someone was motioning in your direction and their faces had a look of urgency.

They were calling his attention to you because you were looking at him and this in itself was significant to this group of men.

You wondered what they knew about you and about Baekhyun. What all he had told them and was any of it was enough to be used against you in a court of law.

Baekhyun’s eyes found yours and you had already begun to make your way off the dance floor to the table where you’d kept your drink and your bag along with the other girls’ things and you watched the atmosphere of Baekhyun’s group take on a much more secretive vibe.

They were, every single one of them, absolutely terrible spies.

There was an intense whispering happening. It all felt very dramatic. There was someone slapping Baekhyun quite hard on the arm and laughing as if whatever situation he had been placed in was too funny for non-violent enjoyment and Baekhyun turned to the slapping man, quietly bickered back and forth in an annoyed and scolding manner.

Your table was very close to them all and you’d reached for your drink to take a sip when out of the corner of your eye you saw a genuine stumble as a human man surged in your direction.

Someone had pushed him.

They all turned to look away from you the moment you curiously looked at them and Baekhyun completed the two final steps that it took for him to be standing right beside you.

“So…” he said under his breath. He was whispering to you and his cheeks were as pink as his eyes were glassy. Baekhyun cleared his throat and inhaled again, keeping his voice very low so you were the only one who could hear him. “My friends are pressuring me to ask you to dance and it would make their fucking nights if you said yes.”

You were sipping on a beer and you peered your head around his shoulder, catching at least four faces seconds before they abruptly turned away.

You looked back into his face with genuine amusement and you quickly licked your lips and swallowed away how obviously entertained you were by this.

Baekhyun watched your face and a single eyebrow lifted over his eye before he inhaled to whisper again. “You see, they all think I have a crush on you,” he added.

You recognized the upper hand you had in this situation. Should you give them all what they wanted? A bunch of silly men who wanted nothing more than to encourage and possibly humiliate their friend with his little crush.

“Do you not have a crush on me?”

Baekhyun leaned then, allowing his whispered answer to heat the skin of your cheeks with every word that puffed from of his lips.

“Baby, I do not have a crush.” He said the word with a deep and significant drawn oh emphasis on the last word. Then, from parted lips came the air from deep within his lungs that fanned over your face and smelled like the usual sweet scent of him paired with an obvious scent of all of that alcohol that surfed through his bloodstream.

“I am in love with you,” he urged with his focus locked tightly with yours.

His eyes held onto yours until he leaned in close enough for the darkness in his whisper to coat the back of your neck with goosebumps.

“Dangerously,” he growled and when he pulled his face back and his eyelids sank down hard on the after effects of that one word that sounded more like a warning than a term of endearment.

You set the beer back down on the table and reached a hand out to lightly touch his forearm; letting your hand trail slowly down the length of his sleeve until you reached his fingers. From the table of men you heard light gasps

“Let’s make your friends happy then.”

The moment your hand made contact with his and you took that first step toward the dance floor you heard a sound like a commotion coming from the group of men. It was half a cheer and half a groan and you turned back to see several of them taking shots of alcohol and wincing as it went down.

You looked back at Baekhyun in surprise but your boyfriend's face was the absolute picture of innocence.

“Even this is part of the drinking game?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiled sweetly but his bottom lip twitched like it does when he’s being just a little less than honest.

The smallest laugh broke free from your chest. You didn’t want to encourage this, but dammit he was cute when he was acting up.

If either of you had been less intoxicated you might have worked out the timing of this better.

You hadn’t even noticed that the upbeat pop song was about to end until you’d pulled him well onto the dance floor and turned around to face him ready for some manager/ex-secretary appropriate moderately close enough to touch maybe hands and forearms and the occasional only when absolutely necessary waist or chaste hand on a shoulder dancing, when the final happy and peppy beats of the song ended and the lights in the room went surprisingly dim as the notes of a new song began.

If you’d been in your right mind you’d have waited before agreeing to dance with him until you’d cleared the song.

If you’d been in your right mind you might not have gotten genuinely excited once you realized that this particular song; this sexy sultry deep r&b beat and with sexier lyrics; this was a song that you, in fact, had danced to before.

You had, in fact, learned a set of moves to this song, a set of rather risqué and rather provocative moves that you’d learned as part of a group dance fitness class at your local gym, appropriately titled Bad Bitches Dance Fitness.

You had your doubts back when you clicked to sign up for the class. But the instructor had a way of bringing the bad bitch out of you. When the first notes of this song started and you set your face for this, you made sure you looked right into his eyes as you struck the first sexy pose that opened the dance, you learned that not only was the bad bitch still inside of you; but apparently all she needed was some alcohol to come out.

Baekhyun was surprised.

You could see it in his face. His eyes widened and his lips parted as his eyes followed your sexy little prance in a full circle around him and when you reached a fingertip to touch his lips, dragging it down slowly down his chin over his chest, opening your hand to scrape your fingernails straight down the length of him it took him an honest to god moment to recover and react.

You stopped at his belt, thank God — not through any good sense on your own part, but the next move of the dance required you to bend at the hips, slip a bare thigh out with a pointed toe and when you flipped your hair up and let your body roll all the way back up, it was against his warmth as you did it. It was punctuated by the sharp exhale you heard come out from his lungs and the desperate darkness you saw deep in his eyes. The dance went on. It was risky as all hell with plenty of touching and even more flaunting certain parts of your body for the man.

It was dark enough now that not every single bit of this could be seen from all parts of this grand ballroom. The dark lighting and occasional strobing lights gave the illusion of some privacy. His table of friends was close enough though. From somewhere in the direction of their table, you could make out the hoots and hollers from the group of young men who seemed to be very excited to have been the catalyst for this kind of situation.

Baekhyun kept up with you. Despite the fact that he did not know the dance; he was enough of a musician with an obvious background in dance as well to know what might come next. He knew how to anticipate your next move and he moved his body with yours, despite the occasional hard clench you saw in his jaw and sharp gasp for air he took when you did something particularly bad.

You lived for those moments. The bits where he was overcome and so close losing his control.

You didn't have to let your hands travel so slowly over him. You didn't have to grab ahold of your own breasts the way you had done and make an expression that very likely reminded him of fucking you. These bits were never covered in the class; but you had very much lost control over yourself to the alcohol.

Every one of his reactions made you smile. It was a satisfied, truly naughty smile and you looked into his eyes, laying another hand just over his chest as you leaned in close to his face. Your eyes slid from his eyes down to his lips and you leaned in so close. It was dangerous. You swore you could feel the breaths from his mouth against your own. You felt the body heat coming from his smooth skin. You could taste the sweetness of the alcohol on his labored breaths.

You turned your head at the last moment. It was all part of the dance. This was just part of the tease. If you had a chair to sit him down in, you might even sit on his lap, straddling his thighs, letting him feel the way your hips would roll into him to the beat of the music.

But Baekhyun didn’t know the dance. You gasped when your backward step was interrupted by his strong arm wrapped tightly around your waist. He pulled you back into him roughly and your legs parted enough for his firm thigh to slip fully in between your thighs. You felt the dress resist on one side but on the other, that damn slit gave you permission; encouraged you even, practically begged you to straddle his thigh and grind your hips against him. You rubbed against the heat between his legs and you felt him there. Hot and hard and so very teased by you — all night long — nearly at a limit. The temptation was stronger than anything you’d felt before. You wanted to feel that friction pressing into your skin. You wanted his stuttered moans pushed deep inside your ears when you ran the palm of your hand over the rigid shaft you felt below the suit fabric.

A pair of eyes to your left caught your attention. Someone had genuine curiosity written all over their face and someone else’s own dance was interrupted as their eyes wandered over to this strange pair of dancers who really ought not be so close to each other right now, not like this, not in public, not when they shared a strictly professional relationship that never ever crossed any lines. Sure it was quite dark and alcohol was likely the culprit but still…

You needed some distance. He was so warm and he felt so good and his hand around your waist had traveled, slipping his hot hand down your ass and over to grip roughly into the flesh of your bare thigh. You’d had enough sex with this man to know what sorts of touches were a prelude to something more. A touch like this, with as hard as he felt between his legs, this was him drunk and him much too affected by your teasing. This was him having had enough of this. This was him wanting to fuck you.

You felt his hot breath exhale slowly over your ear. There was a throaty moan at the end of it, “f-fuck, baby,” he whined.

This had to stop. You needed to get out of his arms. You took a step back, placing a firm hand against his abdomen, you pushed yourself back hard and you stepped out from between his legs; disguising the movement with another body roll thanks to the perfectly timed out-tro it fit perfectly with your exit.

You had to bite down on your lip and control your breaths. It felt like they were pushing and pulling at your lungs with too much force and Baekhyun’s eyes snapped quickly into yours with that same darkness deep within his blown out pupils.

Your focus was wandering. It had been too much. It had been too obvious. Anyone who had even half paid attention would be able to tell that not only were the two of you already quite deeply in love with each other but the chemistry you felt between him and yourself on this dancefloor alone surely would have told them all that the sex had to be mind blowing.

Your eyes caught movement at your table; of course you’d had plenty of witnesses there. Beside your table stood a group of silently staring men with mouths gaping too surprised to give any sort of reaction and back at your table, you watched sweet Sandi lift a hand to her mouth for a noisy wolf whistle and she started cheering and clapping. The girls beside her cautiously lifted their hands to clap and laugh and the encouragement had a sheepish smile pulling up to your lips and you gave the group the smallest little drunken courtesy. Leaning into their compliments as if you had intended to put on such a show with that dance all along.

Beside you, Baekhyun had a hand on his hip and had just ran a palm over the length of his face, no doubt doing his best job of fixing whatever expression he might have; whatever secrets he might accidentally be showing that should not be shown.

His lips pulled into a smile when you smiled at him and without any other moves to make that could signify to all of your onlookers that the make believe, pretend, it was all for show, movie scene was over now, you lifted a hand in his direction and held it up for a high five. A high five was just the move to get that point across. People that slept together regularly didn’t give each other high fives. This was as platonic a move as you could think of. You were sure he would tease you about this for weeks.

“Great dance!” You said through false brightness loud enough for all of the people waiting for you at your table to hear.

He looked at your hand and then back down at your face and back up at your hand again before he lifted his own hand to give you the weakest, most pathetic excuse for a high five that you've ever received from anyone. His face had the uncomfortable kind of wince that a teenager might sport after being embarrassed in front of their friends by a supremely uncool parent.

Back at the tables you both parted ways and in between Marci’s questions, drilling you about where you learned to dance like that, your ears caught the occasional low guffaws, snickers of laughter and teasing quips bellowing out from the group of men that accosted your boyfriend.

“Man…a high five.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

There were side conversations and occasional condolences. Some of the men had more hope that others and you were pretty sure they didn’t realize just how loud they were all talking.

“Don’t give up hope, dude.”

“You see the way she dances tho?”

“She a baddie.”

“Way outta his league.”

“If a girl like that gave me a high five I’d just go home and never come out again.”

“Shhh — he’ll hear you.”

You reached for your clutch and pulled out your cell phone; keyed out a short text message and hit send as you pushed yourself up from your seat at your table and let the girls you were going to take a quick bathroom break.

Your message sat unread for long enough for you to make it clear across the dance floor toward the hallway with the bathrooms. You may have imagined it but you could practically feel the change the moment he had read it. You could feel the heat of his eyes watching as you walked away from him. When you rounded a corner you turned back and found his eyes easily as if you’d always known his focus would be only on you.

‘Bathroom by our patio has a lock’

You were walking through the lounge areas past the smaller groups of party goers who congregated there; seeking a little more peace and quiet for some whispered and intimate late night conversations.

Your feet carried you easily through the spaces and with each step as your heels hit the tile floor and echoed all around you it felt like the bang bang bang of a hammer as your hips swayed and you walked with the confidence of the kind of baddie who might propose a forbidden rendezvous such as this.

It was the alcohol. It was the dance. It was the way he smelled and the warmth of his breath as he moaned into your ear. It was the taste of the alcohol on his sweet breath as you inhaled against his face. It felt forbidden, doing something like that with the eyes of so many people on you both. It was the grip of his fingertips as he held onto your thigh and pulled you hard against his dick.

There was no one around. You’d journeyed through several spaces that were completely empty by the time you reached this bathroom door. You pushed the door open and stepped inside rewarded with the silence you knew you’d find in here.

This was a big party but this hotel was so massive the odds of any lost guests finding their way to this end of the building were astronomically small.

The inside of this bathroom had a cozy yet still tasteful feeling. You could tell it was a luxury hotel by the heated hand towels neatly rolled on the surface of the immaculately clean countertop and the floor to ceiling wooden doors that closed off the bathroom stalls. You walked by the cushioned bench and full length mirrors to stand in front of the sinks.

Your reflection looked back at you and you scrutinized the expression you saw in your own eyes. You hardly recognized yourself. Your skin was just a little bit damp looking from the dancing and you were flushed all over. The flush seemed to be more than just from the alcohol, more than just from the dancing and the exertion. It took a couple of deep breaths through your parted lips and a couple of blinks and only then did your mind clear enough for you to actually see yourself clearly. So this is what you looked like to him. So this was the look in your eyes when you wanted him badly enough to seek out a place of privacy even if that place was a bathroom of all places.

You had to inhale a deep breath and look away from the mirror. You felt too crazed for this level of self discovery. You could feel the desperation bubbling up to your surface, your own once carefully curated resolve made so flimsy and weak by a little alcohol … and by him. The light was bright but not harsh and you leaned a hip against the marble countertop as you watched the door for signs of movement.

Baekhyun’s arrival at that bathroom door came with a sound first. Two soft knocks against the wood made with a single knuckle.

You leaned forward and pulled the door handle open and he stumbled a bit until he was leaning against the open doorway with his eyes cast downward, not yet looking at you and definitely not coming inside with nearly the urgency that you would have expected of him right now.

You reached a hand out and grabbed ahold of his. He gave you his hand without protest and when you pulled you had his eyes looking up into yours as he took two steps inside where you urged until he was standing fully inside this silent space in front of you. The door closed behind him.

His brown eyes were on you and his lips were parted as he breathed through those parted lips and after a few moments of watching your face in silence he closed up his mouth and his head sagged back just a little bit.

Having him here in front of you did something to the anxious energy you’d been feeling before he came in. He wasn’t touching you at all except with his eyes but just looking at his beautiful face pulled a smile to your lips and you backed against that countertop again and leaned against it as you simply let the warm feeling take over your chest as the smile grew.

His expression was changing. His face had looked quite collected and controlled when he came in here but the longer he looked at you the more you saw. His focus refused to stay up in your eyes as his had dropped slowly over the length of your body.

“You —” he breathed out with his eyes down on your bare thighs, “you might actually kill me tonight.” He pulled his eyelids up and narrowed his focus on your face as he spoke.

“You know exactly what you’ve been doing to me. Looking like this — in this fucking dress. Dancing like that. Teasing me and then leaving me. Making me — making me desperate.” His hands flew around with every other sentence, pointing and gesturing all over as he ranted.

You felt an unparalleled satisfaction from hearing his many complaints about you from tonight. You knew you were acting up. You knew you had been teasing him and then leaving him wrecked and part of you had been so very weak to him that you simply could not keep yourself under control around him, not when you had been drinking so much. Your only link to reality had been those moments when faced with the very real possibility of exposing your entire relationship to everyone in here that you retreated from him. Running away, giggling the entire time for just how very naughty you were being.

You couldn't stop.

It was wrong of you.

But it was fun. He was fun to tease and the long list of grievances he was airing right now only pulled your lips into a wider smile that you tried your absolute best to bite down on to blank away. It didn’t work, of course. He saw.

“And you’re smiling,” he said with a lift of his eyebrows and his lips pulling into a smile that didn’t have any humor behind it. He closed his eyes as he lifted a hand to rub over the length of his face.

The same naughtiness that you felt pulling at your strings and making you do these terrible, awful, inappropriately teasing things to him all night long pushed you to take a step forward, into his space.

You reached a hand out and dragged your fingers down the front of his shirt. You could feel the warmth of his chest below the fabric. You moved your hand lightly down the length of him dragging fingers along the edge of his necktie, reaching the very end of it you felt the folded edge of the fabric; that strip of unassuming fabric that moved with his breathing. With your fingers at the bottom you only lightly touched the very tip of his tie, the arrow that pointed downward, that part that laid just above his belt. You touched this spot again and again, letting your aim grow sloppy; letting your wandering hand graze lightly below the metal buckle of his belt and all of the warmth and heat you felt there.

“I’m going to get my hands on you,” his lips pursed and he blew out a stuttered breath that shook his bottom lip on the exit and he bit down on his lip briefly as his eyes followed your moving finger. His lips flew open and his tongue darted out to dampen the dryness on his bottom lip before he inhaled a sharp breath to continue his threat, “and there won’t be any stopping me. There will be no party we have to get back to. No songs that just ended.”

“No… fucking … high fives.” He exhaled through the curse word and you took a step into him.

You hooked his belt buckle with your index finger and gave the smallest tug, pulling your bottom lip into the smallest little pout you could manage as you looked down. You should probably pretend to be at least a little bit sorry. It took you a few moments to really sink that pout in deep and it managed to stay put when you looked back up into his face.

Baekhyun scoffed and he shook his head in disbelief. He lifted a hand up your face, bouncing the tip of his index finger lightly twice over the softness of your bottom lip.

“What are you doing? What is that?” His brows were furrowed and his teeth bared, “are you — are you pouting right now? Do you have something to pout about? Something like, oh, I don’t know, a three hour boner, perhaps?”

Your silly attempt at repentance vanished and you pulled your chin inward with the smallest itty bitty eye roll escaping against your will and through the doubts you clearly displayed on your face you mumbled under your breath, “I don't think — it was that long—”

Baekhyun's face flattened. His eyelids and his eyebrows settled into a completely serious expression and you could still feel the doubts and disbelief bouncing around inside of your head, “I mean…three hours—”

Baekhyun’s sudden movement cut off whatever nonsense you were speaking and he grabbed ahold of your right hand, pulled it forward palm open and he planted your hand squarely on top of his, very obviously, fully erect dick. The interruption and presentation of evidence pulled your jaw open as you held him in the palm of your hand and slowly moved upward along the shape of him.

“Did anyone see you come in here after me?” Your whispered question had pulled his eyes open. They had drifted closed with you touching him like this. As it was now, you hadn’t located his tip as he seems to have tucked himself somewhere behind his belt in attempt to just live with his new reality and what you had done to him.

“No idea,” he breathed through short gasps.

Your hand had reached as high as you could move without removing his belt and slowly, with firmer pressure, you moved your hand back down. You felt the push he gave with his hips into your touch.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked it with much of that same teasing smile on your voice and he shook his head quickly back and forth as his left hand flew up to lean against the bathroom door. After a few seconds you heard an audible click when he locked it.

You gasped in surprise when he moved and reached for you, wrapping his arms around your waist and easily lifting you up to sit on the marble countertop. The stone was freezing beneath your bare thighs and your skirt moved up high enough for a peek of your panties to show. It didn’t matter, he pushed his hips between your parted legs with the same roughness as he handled you. He pulled you into him with strong arms and fingertips that dug into your ass and every push, every bit of friction had your legs parting more; had you needing more than what was possible through the layers of clothing that separated your bodies.

“No,” he leaned in close to your face and spoke in a dark whisper, “but I might want to disrespect you a little while I fuck you.”

You didn’t have any time to form a response because his open mouth covered your own. He kissed you roughly and deeply. His mouth devoured yours hungrily and all you could do was gasp for air when he pulled back, sucking your bottom lip deep inside with the pull of his mouth until he let up enough only for his teeth to bite down. You tasted alcohol on his tongue and on his breath and you imagined you tasted the same.

You felt the culmination of tonight’s frustrations in his kiss. You felt consumed and had by him and when the hollow of his mouth released its hold on, you gasped out loud to feel his lips at your neck seconds before those same parted lips hovered just over the skin right above your jugular. He seemed to play with you there, his lips popping light kisses; his tongue darting out to taste the saltiness of your skin and only when you’d let yourself drift into this tenderness, only when you’d relaxed your shoulders and leaned into him as he kissed and tasted your skin, only then did he do it. Without warning; with the next soft and contented moan that left your lips his muscles tensed around you and his fingertips dug in hard again. At the same time, he pushed his face into your neck, right on the same spot he had been tasting, he suddenly bit down. His hard wet teeth were sinking in deep and he was biting down very hard. He made your breath catch in your throat. Your gasp was a half whine, half whimper interrupted by the shock of the pain you felt when he did it. He made your brain feel fuzzy and dizzy. Maybe it was the surprise, or the alcohol or maybe you hadn’t had enough of a chance to catch your breath.

You would have a mark — red or even the blue color of blood vessels burst just below the surface of your skin. You would touch lightly at this spot and feel a slight tinge from this.

Oh, he was everywhere.

You were quickly overwhelmed.

You could feel your heart racing inside of your chest and that overwhelming feeling felt like it might just burst through your skin. Every touch felt like more than the previous. He was constricting and tightening and he was lifting and pulling and pushing and the room spun; it spun in the confines of this tiny bathroom it spun and it seemed to come to some sort of a comeuppance. He was standing and lifting, his arms clung so tightly around your waist you lost the air inside of your lungs and when you opened your eyes he had found the padded bench and perched you right on top of his lap. You had somehow lost the panties.

“I want to fuck you so badly,” his breathing was rapid and heavy and his face was buried somewhere in your chest. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“You have to take your pants off first.” Your breath caught when you felt his mouth open up over your nipple; right on top of the sticker that covered it and he pulled it into his mouth, sucking, soaking it with his spit and biting with his teeth.

“You’ve got me so fucked. I’m going to cum the second I get inside of you.”

He won. His efforts won over the stupid sticker and you felt the sting of the sticky glue pull hard against your skin; against the most sensitive spots. “I don’t want that. I’m not ready for this to be over.”

You cried out from the pain as he ripped it off with his teeth in a single motion. “You feel so good. You taste so good. You’re so fucking hot.”

As quickly as the sticker was gone and the sting radiated through your nerve endings his mouth was there, pulling your breast into his hot mouth, sucking and biting. Pulling away and leaving you soaked.

You moved your hips over his lap. The firmness lined up perfectly with you; everything about Baekhyun always fit you perfectly. You could feel that desperate friction bumping against your clit with each pass. You chased that feeling, grinding your hips over him again and again, pressing your center atop his stiffness and delighting in the wild grunts that escaped the back of his throat as you did it.

”Don’t,” he breathed out, “don’t you dare,” he was whining with his arms wound around you tight, holding you down, making you stop the movements. You knew what he was saying. You could feel the change in him.

“So take them off, Baek.”

You pushed off of him first. With the way this was going he would cum in his pants before you got to feel him inside of you. His arms relaxed enough to let you go and you stood in front of him, the dress somehow still on, although pushed up very high on your thighs, but both shoulder straps pulled down and your bare breasts exposed, every single mark from his mouth and fingertips flashed flush and hot on your skin. You still had on the stilettos and he stared at you blinking and breathing and begging himself for just a few more minutes of control.

With each of his breaths came small facial twitches. His eyelids pulled down on the exhale and his eyebrows pulsed on his forehead. His eyes closed and opened again and his lips twitched, “You are unfair,” he whispered.

At last, you heard his movement. His hands were at his belt and the quick sounds of that metal buckle and the slide of his zipper resisted against the pressure behind it. He lifted himself into an unsteady standing position and pushed the pants off completely, leaving them crumbled on the floor beside the suit jacket, and the tie, and the shoes.

You lifted a hand behind the dress to find the zipper.

“Leave it on,” he said, reaching for you with both hands; you were spun in place and the heat and warmth of the length of his body warmed your back as his hands wrapped around your waist, one gripping your breast roughly and the other he slipped down between your legs. He coated your back. Behind you, behind your ass you felt him slipping easily between your legs. You were too wet for any resistance at all.

You were moving. He was walking and pushing you forward back toward that padded bench he had been sitting on but his fingers slipped within your wetness as he did it, bumping against your already too wet; too worked up center made it so hard to focus on much.

He moved you; pushing your shoulders down and holding your waist up tight, making you bend down in front of him and your hands hit the bench in front of you, your knees resting on the edge of it and your ass in the air. There wasn’t any dinigity in this. This was fucking. It was desperate and animalistic. His palms ran over the curve of your ass, pushing the fabric of your dress out of the way, slipping fingers in between your legs roughly as he did it. You felt more than desperate. Each of his touches was superficial. Each time, not quite enough. He was so close to you though and his knee nudged hard against the inside of your own knee, making you spread your legs further for him.

Baekhyun was shuffling behind you. Fidgeting with something and whatever it was, it didn’t last long enough for you to care because he was back behind you, this time his movements felt more purposeful. You felt the pad of his thumb dip between your folds and he rubbed over your clit. It made you whimper and moan and push back into him. He knew how to make you cum but he wasn’t doing it. Perhaps it was to buy himself some time to calm down. Maybe he was paying you back for all of the teasing.

“Baby, you are dripping.”

You knew you were. You could feel it. With how long and drawn out this evening had been; with how much you had been denied by him; you were sure you’d be a complete mess.

You felt the soft roundness of the tip of him, slipping in between your wetness as he pushed himself between your folds. This — this was what you needed. This was what you wanted him to do. The action made you squirm and push against him. You needed to feel this again. As he pushed in again, he was also touching you only this time you heard something unexpected. It was a striking and familiar sound that rang out. You knew this sound. This was a cell phone camera shutter. It made your eyes open back up and you looked behind yourself for answers.

Baekhyun was holding your phone and he leaned to reach for you; covering your entire back with his heat and weight he pushed the phone screen forward into your line of sight and you saw it. You saw the picture he had taken with your own cell phone. “Do you see how fucking pretty you look? So wet and needy.” His whisper into your ear had you reeling. He was still moving behind you, pushing his tip against your clit again and again; but not yet entering you.

Your eyes took in the image on your phone screen. His dick in the shot, pushing inside your wetness. Each push from him felt that much more intense with this image in front of you. You felt close to losing control and your eyes drifted closed as you dropped your head and gripped the sides of the bench tightly.

“Do you want a video?” He whispered this next question just at the moment when you felt the building pressure from his actions against your clit. He knew he was bringing you closer as he asked you this question. Your head was swimming. You couldn't process what he was asking you. “Do you want to see what I see when I fuck you?”

Did you want that?

Did you?

You reached for the phone, grabbed it and held it up for him to take. You felt his thumb replace his dick and he was rubbing again. The wetness between your legs increased and your breathing grew frantic.

“Is that a yes? Can I record a video of me fucking you?”

You nodded your head. You already felt it. Your legs were shaking and you felt the trembling as the wave of climax took your breath and your functioning mind and you cried out. It took you a second before you opened your eyes and your phone was gone from your hand.

He pushed inside of you then; in a single rough fluid motion and the inundation took you by surprise, making you cry out again. The sounds, the low grunts with his effort, the deep moans of pleasure, the whispered curses that flew from his mouth, all of the sounds from him hit you just as hard as each rough thrust into you. You felt a mess. The slight pain mixed with pleasure you felt with each thrust had you grasping to hold on to something. There was a new sensation. Something different and unexpected and he did something with his hand, pressing with his thumb in between your ass as he fucked you and you felt crushed; you felt dizzy and overcome and he was shaking and trembling; holding on so tightly to you in this way that made you lose every single thought inside of your head along with every bit of oxygen inside of your lungs.

You both must have lost your damn minds, doing this here, in this place.

You knew the oxygen must have been returning because this thought popped into your head after a few moments of clarity. Baekhyun plopped himself down onto the bench beside you and wrapped his arms around you waist, pulling you to sit down on top of his bare lap. You could still feel the mess spreading between your skin and his skin but you were too spent to care much. He was holding you tightly into him and you leaned your head back to rest against his shoulders, leaning your temple against his.

In front of you Baekhyun held up your phone. The screen was illuminated with the filthiest thumbnail of a video you’ve ever seen in your entire life, outside of occasionally desperate porn videos that you watched sometimes when you were lonely and frustrated with life.

You could feel every rough exhale from his lungs warming your neck and you turned your head to look at his profile out of the corner of your eye.

He pressed play on the video and it came to life, the real life, sinful sounds of the sex you’d just had with him. You felt oddly transfixed watching this. Not nearly as embarrassed to have this view of yourself as you thought you might have been and you felt even more surprised to see what he had done while in the height of both of your orgasms that had pushed you so over the edge at the time. The ball of spit from his mouth that landed right over your asshole. The thumb he pushed inside. Your mouth flew open and you turned to look at him.

His eyes were down on the phone and he was blinking slowly as he licked his lips and bit down. You lifted a finger to point at the screen.

“Is that what that was?” It came out as less accusatory and more of a curiosity. And you saw the tiniest grin pull at the corner of his mouth before he leaned his chin over and playfully bit you on the shoulder.

“Can I have this video too?” He whispered the tiny request and looked over at you after you didn’t respond immediately. “You can say no.” He said softly with a shrug. “You can just delete it if you want to.”

“Don't forget to delete it again from your recently deleted folder, if you do.” Something in his voice sounded quite pathetic and sad as he reminded you about the importance of being diligent when deleting your sex tapes. “I’m sorry I got drunk and spit on you and put my thumb in your butt and made a drunk sex tape with you, if that’s what you’re being quiet about.”

You covered your mouth just in time to catch the snort of laughter that erupted from your chest. This man’s post nut clarity was hitting him very hard and very quickly. From between your legs, and all over his bare lap you felt the wetness move out of you with every laugh and his face turned into a genuine wince as he seemed to hold his breath when he felt it too. You tried your best to stop the laughing but you were too amused by this nonsense.

“You can send it to yourself,” you finally said after recovering from the manic giggling. “I’m not being quiet. I am in shock.”

He bit down on the inside of his bottom lip and the smile on his face grew wide and self satisfied and he was moving his hands very quickly over your phone screen as if you might change your mind and take it back any second now.

“But you liked it,” he sing-songed with a playful shake of his head and you heard a buzz somewhere from the floor where his own phone was still tucked away inside his pocket.

“I have it now,” he said triumphantly and he abruptly turned his head to face you with a bright playfulness deep within his eyes. You looked back at him curiously, feeling that something was brewing here.

His smile widened and he, very slowly, and very annoyingly, lifted a hand up into the air in front of you, palm facing you. He held it up with that same wide smile on his face. This wasn’t a sweet smile. This was a teasing smile. His eyes were full of mischief.

“Great sex,” he whispered and those same eyes looked crazed as he motioned toward his waiting hand with the smallest whine that came from the back of his throat when you didn’t instantly give him what he wanted. He gave his raised hand the smallest shake for emphasis.

“I’m not doing that,” you said, pulling yourself up off his lap as you headed away from him toward the bathroom stall so you could clean up the mess you had all over the lower half of your body.

“Oh come on,” he said, standing up and following you. “Do it. Great sex. I said ‘Great sex.’ You have to do it. I feel,” he inhaled a trembling and very dramatic breath, “extremely cheated right now.” His hand was still up and he was chasing you around the bathroom with it.

You tried to close the stall door but he pushed his thigh through the space and after a few seconds you saw that same hand push through, palm up, stupid and expecting — no — demanding that you cooperate.

You would never know peace in your entire life if you didn’t do this.

You were also certain that you would never know peace in your entire life if you did it too, because both scenarios would encourage his ridiculousness.

You lifted the quickest hand and slapped his palm.

“Woo!” He shouted, “Got the high-five!”

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 10

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. A Rain-Check on Redamancy by @youraveragemushroom

Burnout these days usually came from working long nights at the Garrison. If Lance from five years ago could see himself today—working part-time to rebuild Earth and full-time as an instructor at the very same institution that gave him his crippling anxieties—he would probably shit a brick. Hell, five years ago he hadn’t even known aliens existed (although he always knew deep down that humans weren’t alone in the universe), and now he’s best friends with multiple! One of which had apparently texted him an hour ago.

Forgoing proper texting procedure due to fatigue and general doneness, Lance tapped on the icon to call back.

“Hello?” a familiar deep rasp answered from the other line.

“Hey, mullet,” Lance replied, pushing aside the papers in front of him to lay his head down on the desk. “What’s cooking?”

In which Lance finds himself ignoring how late it is and indulges himself in pining after Keith. Which becomes slightly more difficult when said object of his affections shows up in the middle of the night to rescue him from paperwork, stress, and the melancholy that came from being away from him.

the ‘god i wish you were here’ ‘look behind you’ trope will get to me EVERY single time idc. always makes me all stimmy bc its THE epitome of romance. this whole thing was so so romantic and full of parallels to the first episode to show how deep their relationship has gotten...i love me some romantic parallels fr

2. sweetheart by @jilliancares

“Sorry, babe,” Keith says. He even smiles, no doubt proud of himself.

And Lance knows it’s his fault. He started it, after all, but at least the biting term of endearment made sense when he was the one doing it. Keith had been talking to him like they were some old married couple. The kind who’ve been married too long and don’t love each other anymore and gripe over meaningless shit, only managing to piss each other off even further.

That’s why Lance called him dear. Because it made sense in the situation. It was a calculated insult. A strategic jab.

Keith, on the other hand, is weaponizing the term of endearment without any rhyme or reason, simply to get back at Lance.

Or: Keith and Lance have gotten into the habit of using pet names as condescending insults. They're not really terms of endearment.

ooooooo god endearments going from sarcastic to desperately genuine and the inherent hopelessness in that....whew boy. its def a Concept that u indulge and then you have to clutch ur stomach. i remember reading this as i was getting ready and brushing my teeth and the cliff scene made me gasp out loud and stop just to i could pay Full Complete Attention

3. don’t speak the language by @goldengalaxies

“More importantly” Lance says. “I am currently having a breakdown in this lift because look at him- I am so incredibly gay.”

“Lance!” Hunk buries his face in his hands. “He could speak English you know, your skills of deduction are really not that good.”

Lance ignores his warning in favour of groaning dramatically. “Oh, Dios mio, Hunk, he’s so gorgeous. Look at those muscles. He could probably bench press me.” Lance fanned himself. “Oh my God, fencing is my new favourite sport, fuck swimming.”

(or the one where Lance thirsts after a random guy in the lift who he thinks can’t speak English. lance is very wrong and hunk is very much done with his shit.)

let me tell u about this fuckin FIC. it’s hilarious, but i first read it before i meticulously started storing and bookmarking my fave fics, so when i wanted to reread it i couldnt find it. but i KNEW it was hilarious so i spent fckn hours looking for it, and it took me hours too bc i coulnt figure out which tags to filter. but it was WORTH IT. the entire concept of this fic is hilarious and makes me laugh. amazing work.

4. Whose bright idea was this? by IronScript

When Lance is captured during a mission with the MFE pilots, he wakes up aboard Haggar's ship, though the witch herself isn't there, so he figures why waste an opportunity? Then he finds something that he definitely hadn't expected.

All the while, he has no idea that back at the Garrison, his team and a few select others are watching his every move.

bro the idea that the team is panicked for lance’s safety and they desperately organise a rescue mission for him terrified that hes getting tortured and losing hope but by the time they find him he’s already got one foot out the door and has rescued himself is ENDLESSLY funny to me. like he really said ‘damsel in distress who’ and i love him for that lmao

5. Garfle! Warfle! Snick! by IronScript

How the game show episode actually should have happened.

I'll admit to being a Lance stan, but even people who don't like him seem to agree that he was really fucked over in this episode. So here's my attempt at it. Is it more realistic than what actually happened? I like to think so.

another ironscript fic bc they nail bamf lance. this is how the gameshow WOULD have gone if vld gave a shit about their characters like actually. like yes of course the team is proud of each other and capable of acknowledging mistakes. of course keith knows lance’s worth. of course lance is a badass. of course the team knows wtf theyre doing. love to read this when i get mad about the game show

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[moonyeclipses]

Rant(?) incoming I’m just gonna be talking about my fav boy and how much I hate his mischaracterization

But am extremely excited for the new season and maybe it’ll happen less cause I think a good chunk of the fan base probably just, view him differently from being anime only?

Hopefully lol (also manga and light novel spoiler warning!)

Excerpts from my priv twitter (but slightly altered to get my point across more):

Of all the bsd characters I think I could write the most about Ranpo and his characterization and how ppl completely fuck it up

Like- it’s hard to read a lot of fanfic with him cause they don’t portray him right? Like just the ‘UwU sweets loving boy who knows everything but is still oblivious’ OR ‘self centered arrogant man who acts too childish for his age and thinks he’s better than everyone’

LIKE NO‼️‼️

I know we haven’t really gotten to it in the anime yet but his whole thing is the fact HE DOESNT KNOW EVERYTHING- but he’s also aware that he knows a lot more than everyone else so people view him as this all-knowing unbeatable person when it’s simply not the case

Like, he puts himself on such a high pedestal cause he knows his family puts him on such a high pedestal, they expect him to be able to do everything and to know everything, and that’s why he fights so damn hard for the agency - he doesn’t want to let his family down

He’s always feels so isolated cause of it, and he’s so scared of messing up and he does mess up and it RUINS him

That arrogant front he puts is cause once your the best of the best there’s no where to go but down right? He keeps trying to prove himself and prove himself - he also doesn’t want to give anyone the idea of otherwise because he feels he has to be the one to keep everyone safe- if he shows weakness their enemies will find the loopholes and unfortunately for him that did happen

And yes he’s childish! He was literally sheltered from the entire world besides his also super genius parents for the first FOURTEEN YEARS of his life, he genuinely believed the world was out to get him and didn’t understand it once he was shoved into the outside world alone without the guidance of his now dead parents

They planned on raising him as a normal child to be a good person and not use his genius skills for bad, but they died early into the plan so he just, doesn’t know, doesn’t know any different

He thought everyone could see what he could and just refused to acknowledge it, and every time he would call something or someone out HE would be the one punished for it, it wasn’t till Fukuzawa came along and told him that he’s the only one to do that

AND, he knew to protect him at the time he told Ranpo his deduction skills were an ability, and Ranpo held onto that for protection, cause he refused to believe he was different for no reason, Fukuzawa knew he would be isolated from both normal people AND gifted people because of it

Please read the Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency if you haven’t, it’s the third light novel and it’s about Fukuzawa’s and Ranpo’s meeting when Ranpo was only 14 years old and how Fukuzawa took Ranpo in and eventually created the Agency - it really helps you understand him more and why he is the way he is

Also! Once he discovered he is different, his first reaction wasn’t to use it for this benefit, his first reaction was “the people in the world are like infants, I understand now, the world isn’t cruel, it’s just stupid, and I need to protect them!” This has been his mindset since them, if no one else can see it, then he can and has to save them

It’s like having a pet and calling them stupid in an affectionate way whenever they do something dumb and taking care and nurturing them

Even if he’s not all that emotionally vulnerable and caring, he shows how much he cares through his actions - he’s different, he knows it, he states it like the fact it is, he brags as a manipulation tactic, but he still is a man who’s childhood was cut short, and grew up thinking murder is normal and a everyday casual thing, he loves praise and sweet things because he just simply does, he acts childish I believe as a way to keep a happy front and to stop others from worrying

“Alls well that’s well for me” he means it in the sense of, “if I’m happy, if I’m not worried about something, then no one else has to be, because I have the situation handled” and we see the opposite of this during the DOA arc, when he’s trying to outsmart fyodor and suddenly he gets dead serious - everyone is unsettled by it, they realize how serious the issue is

Idk guys I just, yes he’s a man child at times, yes he acts arrogant and self centered, yes he loves sweets and a lot of things children love but I hate it when people see it as his only traits

They don’t realize how deep his character is and how much he knows. His deduction isn’t just towards mysteries, he can read people in an instant, figure out their life story and more

He may not be a manipulation expert like Dazai but I don’t think he gets the credit he deserves in his other skills and how just, aware he is of everything happening around him - and how normal he tries to perceive himself and live his life in other non serious situations

And people don’t tend to realize how much he cares for everyone, all the innocent people in the world, and especially the agency who is family to him - he’s sacrificed himself on more than one account to protect them

He also puts his trust in the world even though he knows not everyone is as smart as him, because he knows he doesn’t know everything like when he did the press conference to prove the agency innocent

And you can see how relieved he is when some of them do, even if there’s a book that change reality to point all fingers at him

Anyway yea, I sincerely hope with the fourth season (and praying they animate the untold origins for the first couple eps like they did with the other light novels) more people will appreciate Ranpo, and the true Ranpo and not just some simple aspects of his character traits

Thank you for coming to my TED talk LMAO

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So...Misery style, how would you make Tomione work? (Or how would you do a Tomione story?)

Thanks, Anon, this might be harder than the Dramione one.

Well, again, to please my deranged captor, I'd likely follow the plot of your standard Tomione fic and hope it passes muster. "Oh yeah, Hermione's back in time and she's doing back and forth mind games with Tom and it's really intellectual." With any luck, my feet aren't smashed into oblivion.

But I think you're trying to get at what I would really do if I really had to write Tom/Hermione and I had to make it something I would read. At least, that seems to be the spirit of this ask.

So, we're going the thriller route people. A lot like Misery, actually.

Instead of Ginny, twelve-year-old Hermione picks up the diary. Like Ginny, Hermione quickly becomes besotted with Tom Riddle trapped inside. However, unlike Ginny, Hermione goes straight to the library and starts asking pesky questions.

Hermione's never heard of memories stored in objects before, the theory behind portraits and pensieves are completely different, what spells did Tom use and where did he find them? Did Tom Riddle invent an entirely new branch of magic at the age of 16 without anyone noticing? What was Tom's special service to the school?

Tom starts sweating when it becomes clear that Hermione's stumbling a bit too close to the truth (that this is not ordinary magic and highly dangerous shit) and that she's clearly going to start asking around about Tom Riddle (to Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid, who were all near Hogwarts at the same time Tom was going to school).

Tom confesses that he may have created the diary using something very... illegal. Hermione is appalled and asks if it was gasp dark magic! He admits it is but points out it's a bit late now, like it or not, he's stuck in the diary and running to Dumbledore isn't going to make that go away any time soon. And it wasn't like Tom asked to be shoved in a diary either.

Hermione's very conflicted, on the one hand, Tom's the first real intellectual friend she's ever had. Harry and Ron are nice, but they're morons and they thinks he's a nerd. Tom encourages her intellectual pursuits and confirms her concern over various what not and what have you happening in Hogwarts.

Eventually, Hermione decides that Tom in the diary can't help being a diary (though the other Tom, the real Tom, she'd have words with), and decides that she'll try to help him get a body.

Great, that's great, Tom says.

But it keeps getting worse.

Tom tries to possess Hermione, but unlike Ginny, Hermione knows that Tom is a dangerous, dark, artifact. If she's suffering negative health effects, losing her memory and ending up in the girl's lavatory, she's going to research this and decide that either a) she's suffering ill effects of using dark magic b) she just got possessed by Tom.

Either way, she tells him she can't use the diary anymore, it's affecting her health and she must research. Well, Hermione researching does Tom no fucking good, but he can't stop her.

The Chamber of Secrets, as a result, is never opened.

Instead, Hermione continues researching, and Harry and Ron... begin to get on her nerves. It's not like last year, there's no Flamel to research, no over-arching mystery, and they seem to be growing tired of her. In turn, Hermione's getting a little tired of quidditch, getting detention, etc.

She's a little tired of Hogwarts, if she's being honest with herself.

Hermione's now had a taste of having a friend who isn't there to simply use her brains. And it's very addicting. She decides not to tell Ron and Harry about Tom, they'd just get needlessly concerned (the irony of this isn't lost on her but what can you do)

In the end, she opens back up the diary, and point blank asks what Tom needs to get a body. Before Tom can tell her, Hermione lists out her own theories. Life cannot be created from nothing, golems and puppets cannot last in the long term, to get a real body... human sacrifice is on the table, isn't it?

Well shit, Tom thinks to himself. He tries to assure Hermione it isn't but ends up confessing that, well, yes, it kind of is.

They have another huge row about it, Hermione slams the diary shut, but the wheels in her brain are spinning.

Does anyone deserve to die?

Hermione, at first, adamantly tells herself the answer is no. No one deserves to be sacrificed. Tom's fate is cruel, but the original Tom made his bed and should lie in it. It's unfortunate, but that's just life. Not the diary's fault, of course, but nothing that can be helped.

But then she keeps thinking about it.

Malfoy struts through the school like a peacock, sneering every time he sees her, laughing every time Snape deducts points from her in Potions for being a 'smarmy know-it-all'. Every time he can get away with it he's shoving her in hallways, calling her a mudblood, and assuring her that she's worth less than the dirt beneath her feet.

She watches as Malfoy torments and bullies Harry, she looks at Draco's father, and she asks herself if the world would really be so much worse off if Draco Malfoy were to disappear?

Draco Malfoy's being groomed to use dark magic, he practically brags about it at every opportunity, why is his life worth more than Tom Riddle's, someone who has paid the price for dark magic?

Isn't Hermione, in a roundabout way, only giving Draco what he deserves? The fate he'd meet at some point in the not so distant future?

Draco does something phenomenally cruel and stupid to the trio, likely to Harry, and that settles it. Hermione's going to murder that motherfucker and get Tom Riddle a body.

Hermione tells Tom the plan, she's passing off the diary to Draco, she has her full blessing, her permission, and whatever help he requires from her to eat Draco Malfoy alive.

Tom is unwillingly impressed, he was a vicious gremlin as a twelve-year-old, but even he wasn't committing murder in cold blood.

Tom's not sure how he feels about murdering a Malfoy, that's bound to get noticed, but Hermione's unyielding. Draco Malfoy, or Hermione goes to Dumbledore.

So, Draco Malfoy it is.

The rest of the year is spent with Tom Riddle murdering Draco Malfoy and coming up with some excuse for his disappearance. The chamber isn't opened as Hermione reminds Tom that this would make it entirely too obvious who is behind this. Instead, Tom likely has Draco partake in increasingly erratic schemes to humiliate Harry Potter that end up endangering himself.

Near the end of school, Draco disappears into the Forbidden Forest to find acromantulas to put in Potter's bed and... never comes back.

A huge search is put on, Draco Malfoy is never found, and the acromantula infestation in the forest is now actively battled by ministry employees. Dumbledore is sacked as headmaster, Hagrid fired for having been responsible for the acromantulas in the first place, and Hogwarts is closed the following year.

Hermione is... conflicted about all of this. She certainly didn't mean to fire Hagrid (had no idea he was even remotely involved with the acromantulas) and certainly not Dumbledore. It wasn't Dumbledore's fault at all.

Tom, who is now a free man but has no idea what to do with himself, meets up with Hermione and points out that Dumbledore should have been sacked ages ago: he let kids get away with this stupidly dangerous shit and the year before actively endangered his students and lured a dark wizard into the castle. As for Hagrid, he raised a dragon illegally on school grounds, did release his pet acromantula into the wild, and more. They were terrible at their jobs.

Hermione, ever so reluctantly, agrees.

It's too bad though, Hagrid was very nice and Dumbledore's a great wizard (don't even get Tom started).

As for Tom, well, he had such dreams. Of course he planned to either meet up with his glorious self or (upon learning that Voldemort was blown up by a toddler) take the mantle of Voldemort for himself. But now that he's out, he has no idea where to start. Murder Harry Potter, certainly, but after that?

Tom only has the vaguest idea of who the original Death Eaters were, and they seem to have effectively scattered. More, how does he go about this? Sure, Tom had ideas when he was in school, but they were just ideas. He's never led a revolution before, has no idea how to impersonate an older, more knowledgeable, version of himself. He barely understands the political climate in this new, post-Voldemort, Britain.

Tom keeps hanging around Hermione because, well, inertia. He has no idea what else to do. (Hermione, while still torn over the consequences of her actions as well as the distant thought that she enabled murder, is quite delighted to have him around).

Tom tries to wheedle Harry's address out of Hermione and gets a lot more information than he bargained for. Harry lives with abusive muggle relatives, Dumbledore is apparently keeping him there, all of this sounds bizarre. Tom is officially weirded out.

Still wants to murder Harry, of course, but also wants to dig into this a little further...

And before this becomes a full on fic outline, eventually this will lead to the murder of Dumbledore, probably the murder of Ron when Ron inadvertently discovers 'the truth', Hermione telling Tom they're now an item, Tom trying to escape the relationship, only to learn there's no escaping Hermione.

Hermione becomes the next dark lord. Tom has no idea how this even happened.

[decennia]

I don't know who needs to fucking hear this, but I'm about to say it with my full chest:

SEVERUS SNAPE DESERVES NO RIGHTS, I SAID WHAT I SAID.

Why? I'll tell you why:

Let's start with Neville Longbottom. Often the butt of the joke, Neville was often played up for comedic effect, so I can understand why we never took the implications of his boggart seriously.

But the fact of the matter is: Neville Longbottom was more terrified of his potion's teacher than he was of Bellatrix Lestrange, a woman who was a proud Death Eater who tortured his parents into insanity, a fate several people throughout the series state as "worse than death."

I've heard the argument from Snape Apologists that Boggarts are "superficial" creatures, so they don't go much deeper for a fear of yours, and, having gleaned a recent and prevalent one, will shift into that. Hence why it would be Snape, who recently tormented Neville, rather than Bellatrix, who Neville has never met.

It still stands, however, that Bellatrix is a known Death Eater, and Snape was just his potion's teacher.

We also see from Harry's own experience with the boggart, that the boggart hesitated before turning into the dementor. It "chose" which of Harry's fears to become, Voldemort, or fear itself?

Now, because I always listen to both sides of a story, try and see it from both perspectives before I draw a conclusion, I asked myself "why?"

There never is a good reason for abuse, but I still tried to look at it from Snape's eyes. And the conclusion drawn was literally the same as almost every single motivation for every one of Snape's decisions: because of Lily.

Neville was born several hours before Harry, and was a contender for being "the Chosen One" (the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies) but Voldemort chose Harry.

By Snape's logic, it meant that if Voldemort had chosen Neville, Lily would've still been alive for him to woefully pine for from a distance.

And so he takes it out on a fucking c h i l d.

He abuses him, torments him, and even forces Neville to poison his pet toad, Trevor, who has been shown to be of incredible significance to Neville.

And when the potion doesn't poison Trevor? And actually proved to be a competent potion? Snape made his displeasure known by deducting five points from Gryffindor.

I know that's not a Big Deal™ in the grand scheme of things, but we have to remember that Neville was a CHILD.

Moving on from Neville, let's get to: Lily.

Remember what I said before, about Lily being his end-all and be-all for everything? I meant it.

I'm not saying she was the sole reason Snape became a Death Eater, but she was the "last straw."

Snape's dislike for muggles stemmed not from Lily (of course not, he loved her), but from his father. Yes, I remembered his father, Tobias Snape. The muggle, the abuser. Apples and trees, I guess. From what I recall, Tobias was never physically abusive towards Eileen, Snape's mother, but he was emotionally and mentally abusive towards her. This would be cause for resentment for any young child growing up in that environment.

But, for a moment, may I direct your attention to Harry James Potter?

Who grew up that exact same way with the Dursleys?

Who was also neglected (Severus was said to have ill-fitting, mismatched clothes, sound familiar?) but who also did not have Eileen there to protect him?

And did Harry ever become a member of a muggle hate group? (No. The answer is no, in case you all didn't remember that Very Important Detail of the series).

So, yes, Snape was abused, and no, I am not condoning it, I do sympathize with him on that front: no child should ever go through that. Ever. No matter the fucking child, there is no good reason for it. But do I condone his actions later on in life? Absolutely not.

Because he called Lily a "filthy mudblood."

Not just "mudblood", but a filthy one, too. And why did he do that? Because she defended him against his bullies. Yes, Sirius and James were bullies, I guess everyone's faves are a little problematic in this bitch.

And not only did he call her that, but he also was besties with people who fancied themselves the next generation of Death Eaters.

And when Lily asked him if he STILL intended on becoming one, he never gave her an answer, prompting her to sectumsempra all ties with him. Meaning, she probably gave him multiple chances to not be a raging bigot, none of which he took. Love of his life my fucking toe, gtfo—

Also, Snape obviously knew what his "friends" were doing at the time. Particularly, and especially, Mulciber's attack on Mary Macdonald.

Now, we can't talk about Lily without talking about James and the Marauders.

I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THAT THE MARAUDERS BULLIED SNAPE, OKAY? But listen up: still not a good enough reason to join the wizarding world's KKK. Actually there is no good reason, period, end of message, send tweet.

He loathed them so much, he literally gave zero fucks about their wellbeing.

Even though! Sirius' biggest crime against Severus is jokingly telling him to follow Remus Lupin under the Whomping Willow during that time of the month.

And Severus would swear that James' biggest crime against him (after "stealing" Lily, of course) would be stopping him from encountering the werewolf and saving his fucking life.

Where the fuck was that reciprocated energy when Snape KNEW that James was also marked for death?

Also, are you going to tell me, that with his ear so pressed to the ground about news on Lily, that he didn't know who the real rat was? That he didn't know that it was Peter Pettigrew? This is speculatory, but... Snape had to have known that Sirius was not the betrayer, he must've at least known it was Pettigrew, meaning he let an innocent man waste away in Azkaban and for what? Something that happened when they were kids? I wonder why Sirius is a "stray dog" idk probably because someone let him rot in Azkaban for thirteen years?

Don't even get me started on how he literally stepped over James' body to get to Lily's while Harry sat there crying. Please. Or the fact that he only wanted Lily spared? He literally said "yes, only her, please, Dark Lord, fuck that newborn"?

OKAY AND MY FINAL POINT BECAUSE THIS GOT TOO LONG AND HONESTLY I'M LITERALLY WAY TOO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS POINT... I PRESENT TO THE COURT: THE CARROWS.

Severus had been made headmaster of Hogwarts, and what does he do? Allow the Carrows to torture muggleborns and first years. Eleven year olds. Disgusting. Please. What the fuck.

I don't think Severus Snape died a fucking hero, or in "penance." NOT when twelve hours prior, he'd been turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to eleven year olds screaming as the Cruciatus Curse was used on them.

Also, James never sexually harassed Lily? Wanna discuss sexual harassment? How does "waiting outside the Gryffindor common room until someone lets you in even though it has been made very clear that the person you want to speak to doesn't want to speak to you" sound?

I am not denying that Severus Snape is a tragic character; he's a very complex and somewhat interesting one, even. All I am saying is that I don't think saying "always" on the brink of death excuses any of your past actions. He's a martyr at best — having his sins "forgiven" by sacrificing himself for a just cause.

Yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on. But, as always, I am open to a respectful conversation (not argument, conversation). If you disagree, I'd love to hear why. Try and change my mind; as long as you do so respectfully, I will hear you out.

[princecharmingwinks]

Every night, every day; how about every lifetime? // Yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine // 'Cause I'm here to stay through the good and the bad times

[I Believe by Jonas Brothers]

This gives me Sterek vibes, but you can go with any other Teen Wolf ship you likee!! 💕

Hello! Ok so these lyrics inspired me to write and post my first ever fic on ao3. Can you believe? ;) So thanks for this fun ask. I have included the fic below but you can also access it HERE. Thank you so much for popping in!

“How sweet, a monster and his pet. Such a pretty pair you two make.” The hunter purred, their words practically dripping with venomous intent.

Derek couldn’t suppress the threating growl. No one threatened Stiles.

“It’s alright, big guy, we all know you’re the prettiest.” Stiles teased but his heartbeat gave him away. He was nervous.

Derek knew the pack would be here soon. They had to be. There was no other version of events he was willing to envision. Derek just had to buy some time. Isaac’s tracing skills were getting better and Boyd was patient enough to follow the pull of Derek’s alpha power. The pack would make it. He just had to keep Stiles safe for a little longer.

Problem was, Derek was currently bound to a chair by wolfsbane-dipped chains, trapping his four limbs from being any use. Their captors had decided against a gag but this was mostly due to the chunk Derek had taken out of one hunter’s arm when they had tried to. Derek could still faintly taste the blood he had spat out in mild satisfaction.

Stiles was in a similar stake, of sorts, chained to another chair, facing opposite Derek. It was like a horrific form of high school detention when students involved in a fight were forced to death glare at each other across the room. But they weren’t in Beacon Hills High right now and Derek couldn’t remember a time he wished he could be back at school so badly.

Stiles’ bruised and puffy eye winked at him and Derek felt himself give a small yet pained smile in response. The human was keeping a brave face, it was the least Derek could do to try and keep a level head.

Unfortunately, that soon stopped being an option when a hunter started using Stiles as a punching bag again. Derek roared, pulling against his restraints until he could feel the blood dripping down his wrists. He didn’t care. They were hurting Stiles. They were hurting his Stiles.

The hunter took note of Derek’s distress and paused their attacks, hand still clasped too close to Stiles’ face for Derek’s liking.

“Oh, now that’sa bigger confirmation. Here I thought this was just a member of your stupid pack. But he’s more than that isn’t here, Alpha.” The hunter smirked, clearly satisfied with their deduction. Derek felt his throat constrict.

“Leave. Him. Alone.” Derek gritted out.

The hunter cocked their head to the side, studying Derek, “He doesn’t know, does he?”

Stiles spat out some blood onto the concrete, “Who doesn’t know what?”

Derek locked eyes with Stiles and lost himself in their depths for a moment. Would telling the truth make things easier for him? Would knowing why they had been taken lessen the burden and hurt? Or would it just make things worse? The hunter had already made their assumption and Derek worried what they were going to do with that information.

Fuck it. Derek wasn’t going to be labeled a coward. Stiles may never look at him the same way again but at least he’d be live. Right now, that was Derek’s only concern.

Derek slowly moved his eyes away from Stiles, regrettably so, and focused on the hunter’s face.

“The Mate Bond isn’t complete. Hurting him won’t kill me.” Derek closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. He hadn’t planned on this being the way he would confess to Stiles. And while it was shitty timing, Stiles did deserve to know.

He opened his eyes again and this time he didn’t look away from Stiles as he spoke, “Mate Bonds need to be offered and accepted on both ends. Hurting one party when it is a one-sided bond, won’t kill an alpha. If your hope for killing me is through him, it won’t work because he hasn’t accepted me as his mate.”

Stiles stared, his heart hammering in his chest but that could easily be from the fear of their situation, and not because Derek had just told the human his true feelings.

“Well, no matter. I can just kill you the old-fashioned way instead.” The hunter shrugged, unbothered by this turn of events. They released their hold on Stiles, thankfully, and stalked towards Derek with a gun ready in hand. While Derek wasn’t keen on a bullet to the head, he was more than happy to take one to save Stiles. His pack was coming. They’d get to Stiles in time. Derek had to believe that.

Gunfire rang out from outside the room along with shouts and the barking of orders and storming of feet. None of that mattered when Derek heard the distinct yip of Erica whenever she took down another enemy. Derek roared, signaling their position and catching the hunter off guard. The pack had made it.

Derek glanced over at Stiles but the human appeared to not have moved a muscle. He was frozen to the spot, staring blankly back at Derek. So, things really would have to change. Derek tried to ignore the sting of hurt digging deeper into his heart. The thought of his mate rejecting him, causing more physical pain than wolfsbane chains ever could.

~~~

Four hours later and after many rounds of pack scenting, Derek was able to finally breathe again. He was safely back home and everyone was alive. Everyone’s wounds had healed, minus Stiles. His humanity would keep the swelling and bruising of his eye for a few more weeks. Under Derek’s instruction, the pack had formed a barrier around Stiles to get him out of the hunter’s dwelling.

Now Derek sat on his bed, freshly showered and clutching a new t-shirt in his hands. He’d almost lost Stiles today. He’d almost lost his mate. Derek paused. Stiles wasn’t his mate. The human hadn’t accepted the Mate Bond. Derek had to come to terms with that. He’d never force Stiles to do anything he didn’t want to. So, if the best course of action from here was to remain friendly packmates, then that’s what Derek would respect.

It would hurt like hell but there wasn’t anything Derek wouldn’t do for Stiles. Even letting the human go, if that was really what Stiles wanted.

Derek exhaled and drew the shirt over his head. There was no point dwelling on the impossible. Stiles had made his decision. Stiles was…here.

The time it had taken for Derek to secure the shirt onto his body, Stiles had somehow managed to appear in the alpha’s doorway. Derek swallowed the lump in his throat and just looked at Stiles. His perfect other half. His mate. His wolf rumbled happily at the scent of Stiles filling the room.

Stiles walked tentatively into the room, standing just before Derek. “Did you mean what you said?”

Derek lowered his eyes, his chin dipping down as well, “Yes.” He paused and shoved thoughts of pulling Stiles into his arms out of his mind. “I’m sorry.”

Stiles’ fingers hooked lightly under Derek’s chin, drawing the alpha’s gaze back up. “Are you sorry I found out this way, or sorry that you picked me as your mate?”

Helplessly, Derek searched the human’s eyes for any indication of his thoughts but Stiles wasn’t giving anything away. Derek decided that he couldn’t lie anymore. Stiles was more to him than a member of the pack.

“I will never be sorry for picking you as my mate. No matter how you feel in return.”

The fingers on his jaw shifted to rest on his cheek, Stiles’ other hand cupping the other side.

“Well thank God.” Stiles grinned. “That makes loving you a heck of a lot easier.”

“What?” Derek almost jerked away in surprise but Stiles’ touch kept him grounded to the spot. “You love me?”

“Of course, I love you. We’re inevitable. We’re as inevitable as the universal fact that you have to rotate a USB twice to get it into the port only to realise you had it the correct way the first time. So yeah, you’re stuck with me. Have me forever and ever Sourwolf because you’re the only one for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Derek kissed him. There was no other way he could put everything he was feeling into words. The Mate Bond had been completed, solidified. They were now connected on more than an emotional level. Derek’s wolf rumbled with joy, happy in the knowledge that their mate was here and safe and theirs.

Stiles broke the kiss first smiling his perfect smile, “I guess this means you love me too?”

Derek buried his nose into the crook of Stiles’ neck and inhaled deeply. All his senses were overloaded with warmth and happiness and mate.

“I’ll love you forever.” Derek whispered just beside the human’s ear, hearing the way Stiles’ breathing faltered momentarily.

Derek drew Stiles gently in and lay him against the pillow, cocooning himself around like a shield. Stiles was his mate and he would ensure nothing happened to him. With a tentative hand, Derek pulled the pain from Stiles in small black lines and watched in complete awe as his mate melted in his arms.

“Oh, that’s the good shit right there.”

Derek smirked and his wolf preened at the praise.

“While I’d like nothing more than to find out all about the wonderfully sinful things you could do to me in this bed, I’m wrecked. Nap time first?” Stiles peered at Derek from under heavy lashes.

Derek smiled and kissed his mate’s temple, “We have all the time in the world. There’s no rush. Get some sleep Stiles, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Stiles nodded and snuggled in closer, looking like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

Just as Stiles was about to drift off, he mumbled a final question, “When you told the hunter that hurting me would kill you. Was that true too?”

Derek hugged his mate closer, as if he could protect the human from the evils of the world outside their door.

“Hurting an alpha’s mate is worse than any torture in the world. It breaks the wolf from the inside out. Some call it shattering the wolf’s heart. Many don’t survive.”

Stiles nodded, his eyes still closed but reached out a hand and draped it against Derek’s cheek again, soft fingers gently rubbing back and forth. Derek snuffled into the warmth, placing a kiss to the palm.

“You protect my heart, and I’ll protect yours.” Stiles breathed.

Derek rested their foreheads together and nodded, “You protect my heart, and I’ll protect yours.”

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 here!

A/N: I already know some of y’all are going to be mad, it’s 2020 and twilight needs some diversity, don’t @ me.

* You’re not really sure how you got here

* “This ones done”

* Edward holds out the blood bag to you, carefully pulling out the needles from you beloved Deer, Hayden.

* “Ah, thank you.” You place it carefully along with the others, before lavishing Hayden with affection

* “You were so good today! You’re going to get extra carrots, yes you are!”

* You’re aware of Edwards gaze on you as he disinfects the injection point.

* “You know it’s illegal to have Deer as pets in Alaska don’t you?” The corner of his mouth is quirked in the smallest smirk you have ever seen, and you roll your eyes

* “Tanya got a permit, the official stance is they’re her deer, I just take care of them for some extra pocket money”

* Not that anyone would venture into the “siren house” to ask questions

* You knew people were probably wary of coming up to the estate, even the mail man looked dead scared when he left Irina’s Lululemon packages in the mailbox

* But you didn’t think the locals legit called the manse “The Siren House”

* Edward told you they used to call it “The Witch House” but then, upon seeing the Denali sisters, changed it to Siren

* Edward doesn’t say anything, just moves to take the filled blood bags up to the house

* Ever the gentleman

* You really thought Edward would show up once, figure out he couldn’t read your mind, and retreat into his own moody silence.

* You figured you would mostly be dealing with Carlisle, who would teach you how to draw blood from your heard of deers, and then you would be on your own.

* But instead it was Edward who volunteered to do it for you, Carlisle was busy with his day job after all.

* He shows up once a week, usually after school, and carefully extracts the blood

* Then he puts them inside the fridge and leaves

* You really don’t get what’s going on, if he hates you so much why even bother coming over in the first place

* You’re about to fall into your usual rhythm of handing him the blood bags, which he then puts in the fridge when he breaks your routine

* “Why-“ your head pops up from the small pile of blood bags and to him. He’s looking away, but then his gaze meets yours. “Why go through all this trouble for a few deer.”

* You grin and hand him a blood bag

* “Another vampire might say the same thing to you, why go through all the trouble for a few humans?”

* He flinches, and you laugh. He’s so unaware of himself it’s actually funny

* “For the record, I do it because they remind me of my (Dog/Cat/Pet).” He quirks an eyebrow at that.

* “Your pet?”

* You nod. You’re number one concern on arrival here had been whether your dog was okay, but sifting through your memories of this life, you realized your dog had passed away in the middle of high school.

* “When I look into their face, all I can think about is my dog” you shrug, it’s the same with bears and other animals too.

* “Also, it’s kinda disgusting to drink that blood straight out of the animal.”

* Draining the blood must have deducted something from the taste, you can’t imagine what that skunky revolting flavor would have been like if you were drinking straight from the animal.

* Edward laughs. It’s the first time he’s laughed around you, pearly white canines in full view, the skin at the corner of his eyes folds

* It’s cute, very boyish. You get what Bella was talking about now

* “You get used to it after a while” he shrugs

* You shake your head, no one should ever have to drink that crap

* “Here, try some of my blood” you say it like you’re offering him some cookies you made. You pick up one of the bags, still warm, and he quirks an eyebrow

* This isn’t the first time you’ve offered, usually he declines and rushes to leave

* One time it looked like he might say yes, but then he noticed Tanya and excused himself.

* He accepts the bag, holding it up with one hand

* “Do you pour it in a mug?”

* And so you and Edward sip your blood-Capri-suns in the kitchen that’s only now started to be used

* You sit in the counter cross legged, while he leans against the adjacent counter. Both of you silently sipping your meals.

* “This is really good” he finally says, his blood bag almost empty.

* “Who’d you have? I’ve been trying to add different veggies to their meal to see if it brings out a different flavour profile.”

* He had Henrietta, who you had been giving more citrus too. Partially for flavour, and partially because she’s your favourite

* “It kind of tastes like...fruit punch” Edward recalls after a prolonged minute.

* He seems so nostalgic, you wonder how long it’s been since he’s had human food

* “I think genetics have something to do with the flavour too, the breed from this region all seem to have a fruity aftertaste”

* “I’m partial to deer since they don’t have a strong game taste aftertaste.”

* “Yes! That part is the worst, it’s like eating a skunk” You scowl and he laughs again.

* You know he doesn’t belong to you, he’s Bella’s, in a few years she’ll be all he thinks or cares about.

* But maybe the two of you can be friends until then.

* All at once the moments broken, Edward stands a bit straighter, the smile on his face gone.

* You turn to look behind you to see Carmen.

* Her head is tilted to the side, a smile tugging on her lips

* “You both look like you’re having fun.”

* After that the conversation is pleasant, but it definitely stutters until Edward eventually leaves.

* “I think he likes you” You’re reading a book by the fire, the gentle heat is nice and it sets the mood.

* “What?”

* Carmen’s grinning

* “The Cullen boy is interested in you.”

* You just shake your head. You doubt it, Edwards only got a one track mind for one person. And it’s not you

* “It would be nice if we could be friends though, I don’t really know many other people my physical age.”

* Carmen stops mid-stitch on her embroidery hoop

* “Is that something you want? Because the Cullen’s have other’s your a-“

* “I don’t need you to set up play dates for me Carmen”

* “Understood”

* Edward comes by regularly, to help you with your animals. You’re both always under the (discrete) supervision of one of your guardians (excluding Tanya of course.)

* And with each visit you learn a little more about him

* You find out that right now he’s masquerading as a senior in high school, he’s considering going to college for veterinary sciences

* “Why veterinary sciences?” You wonder if he’s about to poach your best deer and start his own blood business when he shrugs

* “It’s one of the few degrees I don’t have”

* You’re drinking blood-Capri-suns out on the porch, he’s still in his school clothes, including a very puffy jacket

* “What were you going to do?” Your raise an eyebrow and he elaborates “before you turned, what were you plans for the future.”

* “I was on my graduation trip, I was going to college in the fall”

* You got accepted into your safety school with a generous scholarship.

* Edward doesn’t press any further. But you can tell that he wants too.

* Many nights go by, you experiment with you animals diets, have supervised hang-outs with Edward, you meet Carlisle every so often who basically gives you therapy and helps you control your emotions

* Life is good

* But your growing complacency with the situation is starting to bother you

* You haven’t forgotten about Alec and Jane who are still fighting so hard to survive, or the countless others who would prefer this way of life if they only knew

* You know the minute you start being content is the minute the world wins

* So every night -or really every so often, you’ve lost all perception of time, the nights in Alaska are totally fucked and these heathens don’t even have a damn clock. Your only really sign of time is the mail man dropping off amazon packages- you sit and dream

* You think about giving back to the community, about saving your friends, and about dethroning fucking Aro

* You’re only at the beginning now, there’s still so much work to do, but it’s a start

* You hear a noise and your eyes open

* If you had a beating heart it would stutter when it saw Edward standing beside your bed, your hand moves on it’s own through reflex, clutching your heart

* Under the circumstances you would expect someone else to laugh, but Edward just looks confused

* “Are you...sleeping?”

* “I like to pretend, it’s a nice way to end the day” he raises an eyebrow at that

* “It’s 4 in the afternoon”

* “Well damn Edward, we don’t have any clocks in this house, how am I supposed to know what time it is.”

* He does laugh at that

* “Is it...nice?”

* “Yeah, it’s pretty relaxing, kills some time too.” Noticing the curious look on his face, you ask:

* “Do you want to try?” You pat the space on the bed beside you.

* You’re fully expecting for Edward with his old fashioned virtues to deny your suggestion. So you’re surprised that after several long seconds of silence, and a rather pained look, he adheres to your request and lies next to you on your bed.

* It’s a king size bed, so he’s at least three Great Danes away from you, but the closeness still surprises you.

* “What do I do now?” He says, eyes closed.

* “Daydream, or fantasise I guess, about things that happened in your day, or things you wish happened, places you want to go and memories you wish you could relive”

* “What do you usually dream about?” He asks, eyes open now

* “I think about Jane,” the answer is automatic, and you regret it as soon as the words come out. But Edward’s expression doesn’t change so you continue. “I think about my deers and my family too.” Most of the time you’re just thinking about what animal you want to excitement with next tbh

* “And sometimes I think about you.”

* And how glad you are to have a friend

* Edward doesn’t say anything for a long time, and for a second you hope he hasn’t misunderstood your words, you know he’ll never feel that way about you. All of those romantic feelings are saved for Bella

* “Would you like to come to my house sometime?” The questions throws you off, and your expression illicit’s a laugh from him. “Emmett and Esme are dying to meet the newborn from the Denali coven”

* That’s probably true for Esme, you’re pretty sure Emmett just wants to have some physical match with the “Volturi-reject”

* “That sounds fun, sure.”

* Maybe they have a clock in their house you can steal

* Edward shows up the next day in his shiny white Volvo to pick you up.

* On either side of you on the front porch are Carmen and Kate with their most fierce expressions (and behind them is Eleazer who just looks like he’s along for the ride)

* “Where are you going?” Kate asks

* “Our home on the other side of the mountain, you’ve been there before” Edwards got a small smile curling in his lips, and an eyebrow raised.

* “What will you do?” Carmen asks

* “My family’s having a board game night, I think we’re playing monopoly”

* “What time will you bring them home?” Kate intervenes, man they’re not even pretending to be polite

* “Well it’s not a school night-“ Seeing his joke isn’t going to land, he rethinks his words midway

* “Whenever they tell me to.”

* You’re half expecting to get a curfew, even though this household seems to operate without the concept of time, when Eleazer interjects

* “Well be safe, and have a good time.” He slides a backpack up your shoulders. “I packed you some blood bags in case you get hungry, Henrietta’s since I know that’s your favourite.”

* He’s the only one waving as you get into Edward’s car

* The view as you drive is breath taking, the snow covered mountains, abs crisp green trees

* Edward laughs beside you, at your awestruck expression no doubt

* “You don’t get out much do you?”

* You have your nose practically pressed to the glass

* “Not at all.”

* The Cullen’s home is reminiscent of the one from the movies. All light, with glass everywhere. It’s like a aurora, all wavy with no true shape

* “Welcome to our home (Y/N)” Carlisle greats you first, and behind him is... Esme

* She’s not at all like the books or the movie

* She’s definitely not white, you can’t tell exactly what race, but she’s definitely a POC.

* Her caramel cheekbones seem even more prominent when she offers you a smile.

* “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Esme.”

* For some reason her being a POC, makes you feel more comfortable around her.

* Maybe you will ask her to draw up those plans for a proper barn.

* Edward stifles a laugh behind you, and you raise an eyebrow.

* “Emmett is dying to meet you upstairs.”

* You follow Edward up the stairs, finally meeting the family that spawned four books and a movie franchise.

* None of them look like they’re actor counterparts

* For one Emmett is black. And also really handsome, he’s got this Chadwick Boseman look alike thing going on and you’re down for it (RIP)

* Rosalie looks basically the way she was described in the books, all blonde hair and angel faced, but she’s the only one

* Alice is definitely Asian, she kinda looks like Lana Condor

* Jasper.... is ambiguously brown, but it still makes you let out a sigh of relief when you remember he was a Major in the CONFEDERATE army.

* More to the story than someone who was blatantly racist and supported slavery.

* They’re all beautiful, and they terrify you. You’re not exactly sure why, but something primal in you tells you to run away as fast as you can.

* But Edward lightly brushed the small of your back, pushing you forward. Right into the lions den.

* “Hello, I’m Rosalie”

* Looks like they picked her to be their spokesperson, all glittering smiles and flawless cheekbones. She extends her hand, and you lightly grasp it.

* “It’s nice to meet you.”

* It’s surreal to think how you know almost everything about this girl, while you two are virtually strangers

* Jasper introduces himself next, all smiles and quiet gentlemanly behavior.

* You’re not really sure what to expect with Alice, from what you know this girl has seen every future you could possibly have.

* Who knows what she saw

* But when she stands she hugs you

* “It’s good to see you!”

* “Alice, you haven’t introduced yourself”

* “Oh, right. I’m Alice”

* Emmett claps you on the back like you’re an old friend.

* “So, I heard you used to hang out with the sadist twins in the Volturi”

* You can practically feel the tension in the air, even Edward winces

* “They’re not so bad” really, what did anyone expect when they were in that environment

* Emmett grins

* “That’s bad ass”

* The rest of the night passes in a blur. The cullen’s game of monopoly includes some monstrous version where they put 8 different themed boards together and play in teams (You’re obviously on Edward and Alice’s team)

* They also have some sort of structure where they put four hotels together and called it a mega-hotel

* The whole thing blows up when Emmett accused Alice and Edward of using their powers to cheat

* “What do you want me to do, I can’t turn it off when I want Emmett, trust me I would especially when you and-“

* “Oh shut up Emmett, like we haven’t noticed Rosalie has an awful lot of $500 bills” Jasper interjects

* “It’s because you always pay me rent in small change!” She screams

* “Now-“ Carlisle tried to interject but Alice stands up

* “That’s a lie! I saw you steal from the bank several times when Esme wasn’t looking” Alice screams

* It goes on like this until Carlisle Declares the game over, and shoos everyone away.

* “Sorry, I would say it’s usually not like this, but I would be lying” Edward grins and you shrug

* “It was pretty fun and... entertaining in its own way” Edward beams at you, and once again, you definitely feel the dazzling effect Bella described in the movies

* “Should I... take you home now?” You can tell he doesn’t want to take you back yet, and if you’re being honest you don’t want to go back either

* The Cullen’s house has so much light, and you can see the stars so clearly here

* And if you’re being honest things seem to be way more entertaining here

* Edward takes you to a nook which houses a grand piano

* You’re fingers instinctively roam over the keys.

* “Do you play?”

* “Just a bit”

* You’re not the one who knew how to play, not really. But now this body is yours. You’ve thought about asking Carmen for a Piano, you’re sure they would love something that adds to the gothic feel of the mansion, but always cast it aside.

* You’re busy enough with your research.

* “Play me something” Edward grins.

* Alec had said the same thing to you when you were first taken by the Volturi, at the time your mind had raced wondering which piece would impress him the most. Which would aide in your survival.

* But looking at Edward now, you know that it’s not the same situation.

* He really does want you to play whatever your heart desires

* So you play “Love like you”, accompanied by your quiet voice reciting the lyrics

* At some point Edward sits beside you, playing in a deeper key, adding another layer of depth to your performance

* Wordlessly, afterwards he plays a piece of his own, Claire de Lune. Which you know is a remarkably hard piece.

* Still halfway you chime in, your super human fingers keeping up with him with ease

* And so it goes on like this, you play a modern song, waiting for him to catch up and he does the same with a classic

* Like a never ending game of cat and mouse

* It stops abruptly when Edward is in the middle of “moonlight sonata” when Alice clears her throat from behind you.

* “I hate to disturb,” there’s a teasing grin arched on her face. “But if you don’t drop them off, Carmen and Tanya are going to come over personally to retrieve them-“

* You see Edward wince, no doubt reviving Alice’s vision through his ability

* “And I don’t think anyone wants that.”

* You nod, moving to grab your backpack when you overhear Alice say-

* “You never let me play like that with you”

* Edward let’s out some sort of noise akin to a scoff

* “Where did you learn those songs?” He asks when you’re on the road

* Well you can’t tell him they’re from artists who aren’t known yet

* “Personal compositions” you murmur, and Edward grins his dazzling grin

* You talk about nothing but music until you pull into the familiar circle driveway of the manse

* Right when you’re about to thank him for a fun time, he gently stops you with a fleeting touch to your shoulder.

* “I’m graduating next month,” he hands you an envelope which you assume has his graduation card. “I was wondering if you would like to come to the ceremony.”

* You hold the card with both hands stunned, he’s already graduating high school?

* That means only 4 more years until he moves to Forks, and another two until he meets Bella

* And you realize that while time is frozen for both of you until the end of the universe, you’re the only one who isn’t moving forward

* “Yeah, I’d love that!”

* You try your best to smile, but your sure it comes off looking strange

* You don’t talk to anyone, heading straight for your bedroom

* What’s next for you?

[samadiw]

Knickers - Part 03 - Yellow Knickers 💛

.

Yellow?

Fucking yellow?

She didnt have yellow knickers, she didnt have yellow anything and it wasnt like she could stroll into Hogsmeade and buy a pair.

Hermione pulls out her drawer of knickers, for a girl who didnt get it on much, she had a drawer full of colourful undies, one must always feel good in what covers your twat.

She gingerly picks up a scanty almost see through black pair of knickers, well, they would have to do.

Placing the pair on the bed, she reaches for her wand and waves it over the undergarment, the colour instantly changes from black to dark yellow.

Hermione grins, it looks better than she expected.

H : "Not bad..."

She flops down on the bed and thinks of Malfoy's cock for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

The fucker had no shame in just whipping it out in front of her, his crass boldness turned her on, he didn't care to tip toe around her as if she would shatter into a million pieces.

Her toes curl with wanting, he would widen her nicely, she had always been told she was tight.

Damn that bloody Malfoy cock.

*******

T : "The fuck man."

B : "Don't you get sick of losing?"

T : "You're cheating, I know it."

B : "Its wizards chess, you just suck."

T : "I have to meet Luna but once I'm back, I want a bloody rematch."

B : "Let's make it interesting, care to place a bet?"

T : "10 Galleons?"

B : "My house elf makes 10 times that, you bloody cheapskate."

T : "Later."

B : "Use protection, we don't want crummy chess players being added to the population."

T : "Fuck you, Zabini."

Draco walks in towelling his hair

B : "Ah, want to grab a butter beer?"

D : "Sure, mate."

Throws a bottle at Draco and he catches it expertly.

D : "So, whats the name of the new broad?"

B : "Patil..."

D : "Nice."

B : "Is Weasley still banging Granger?"

D : "Haven't a clue."

B : "She's looking rather fine this year."

Draco tightens his hold on the bottle and takes a long swig.

Blaise didnt know the half of it.

The next morning

T : "Fuck, are you ready to leave?"

D : "Yeah, I've got some, unm...work to do."

What he wanted to do was claim his seat in the Great Hall before someone else did.

B : "Well, I'm ready, I'll come with you, Theo, do hurry up bitch."

T : "Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying."

They walk into the Great Hall and find it half full.

A bunch of 3rd years are sitting in Draco's usual place.

The blonde towers over the younger students and hisses darkly.

D : "Move, now!"

The adolescent boys trip over themselves in their haste to get up.

"Yes, Mr Malfoy, sir."

"Right away."

"So sorry."

Blaise and Draco slide into the seat.

B : "I think the tall one wet his pants."

D : "Respect, Blaise, must be taught when young."

B : "Theres a fine line between respect and bullying."

D : "Potato, potahto."

B : "Why the fuck do you keep looking at the entrance?"

D : "For Nott, ofcourse."

Blaise raises a brow and grins.

B : "Sure you are..."

Hermione links her arm through Ron's and he whispers a funny joke into her ear, she throws her head back in laughter.

From across the hall she can feel steely grey eyes watching her every movement.

She locks eyes with the ice blonde and bites her lip.

Settling down in her usual spot, Hermione looks at Draco through hooded eyes and challenges him.

Draco smirks, fucking showtime.

He's about to drop something when a voice cuts into his train of thought.

PS : "Mr Malfoy."

Fuck..

D : "Yes, Professor Slughorn?"

PS : "Come with me, boy, I need your rather unique potion making skills."

Come on, no, no...

D : "Now?"

Slughorn raises a brow.

PS : "Yes, now..."

Draco glances at Hermione desperately.

Did the old codger have to fuck up his morning?

Draco weakly protests

D : "But sir, I'm um..hungry."

Hungry for Grangers cunt.

PS : "Now! Before I start deducting points off Slytherin."

The bloody bastard.

Draco gets to his feet

D : "Fine."

Hermione looks on in disappointment, brings her legs together and watches Malfoy trail after Slughorn miserably.

The fuming Slytherin throws a look of annoyance her way before exiting the hall after the potions master.

Draco misses his first two lessons because of Slughorn's potions emergency, he is still at it when his year piles into the classroom.

He wipes his brow and looks up, Hermione grins and pats the seat next to her suggestively.

It wouldn't do to openly sit next to the Gryffindor without a bunch of questions being asked.

Draco coughs to distract everyone else and shakes his head, Hermione frowns, rolls her eyes and pulls out her books.

PS : "Good job, Mr Malfoy."

Draco replies in frustration.

D : "Yeah, no problem, Professor."

He gathers this things and sits next to Theo.

The class drones on and by the end of it Draco has dozed off more than once.

Theo nudges him and hisses.

T : "For fuck sake, get up."

The class ends and the exhausted students leave the dungeons and make their way to lunch before the next round of classes start.

Hermione studiously avoids Draco, she wouldn't go to him, let him come to her.

Refusing to sit with her, who the bloody hell did he think he was?

She steps into the abandoned girls bathroom to fix her hair and wash the tiredness off her face.

It takes but a second.

The door opens, closes with a bang and a heavy firm body presses up against her back.

Shocked at first, Hermione reaches for her wand but she looks up to see Draco grinning smugly at her.

She turns around and shoves him

H : "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

D : "Isn't it obvious?"

H : "This is the girls lavatory."

D : "I'm aware."

H : "Get away from me, you pervert."

D : "I haven't seen your knickers today, Granger."

H : "And you're not going to see them now."

D : "Oh, I beg to differ."

He places firm hands on her waist, lifts her and settles her on the counter.

Hermione lashes out

H : "Have you lost your damn mind?"

Draco winks.

D : "Possibly."

Hermione tries to hop down.

H : "I'm not playing this bloody game."

Draco holds her in place, his long fingers brush gently along her skin and edge upwards.

He pushes up the school skirt so it bunches around her waist and stares at the bright yellow undie hugging her pussy lips, outlining every dip and curve.

Draco swallows hard, up close she looks absolutely breathtaking.

H : "There, you saw them, are you satisfied?"

D : "Immensely, yellow might be my new favourite colour."

H : "Very funny, now let me go."

D : "Not so fast, pet."

He runs a long finger down her material covered slit.

Hermione gasps and a involuntary moan escapes her full lips.

She comes back to her senses and scolds.

H : "Stop it, anyone could walk in."

Draco rolls his eye, waves his wand and distinctive click echoes through the quiet bathroom.

He grins mischievously.

D : "Problem solved."

He continues to rub enticing circles around the flesh of her inner thighs.

D : "I wonder if you taste as good as you look."

H : "You wouldn't..."

D : "Oh, I would and you will love it."

He peels down her panties, leaving a trail of fire where his fingers touch her skin.

Draco puts Hermione smooth legs over his shoulders and bends to give her exposed cunt a quick lick.

Hermione gasps as he delves inside her with the tip of his tongue.

He gives her clit a quick flick and proceeds to eat her out generously.

Holy fuck, was Malfoy licking her cunt?

Oh, so good, so bloody good.

D : "You taste divine, let's see what makes you come."

Hermione's breathing elevates, she surrenders to the blonde licking her to glory.

The noises he makes as he moves his tongue echo in her head and fuel her pending release.

H : "Malfoy...."

D : "Wet, so fucking wet."

They have 4 minutes and 26 seconds before their next class.

Draco figures he needs 3 minutes tops to fuck her with his talented tongue and feel her orgasm on it.

D : "You taste fucking amazing."

He parts her pussy lips with his tongue again and begins to lap at her eager wetness.

Moving slowly, he uses the tip of his tongue to circle her ever receptive bud.

His tongue slips and he's rewarded with a loud moan.

Ah, so that's the spot.

Draco relentlessly tongues Hermione till she squirms.

He wants to look at her, keeping up his ministrations he braved a look at the witch whispering his name.

She was shuddering above him, her body wracked in pleasure.

Head thrown back, wild curls around her face, fuck...she looked stunning.

Her eyes closed, thighs spread wide and hands massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples.

This was a sight he could get used to.

H : "There, oh fuck...don't stop..."

H : "Oh...mm...I'm going to come."

Music to his ears, he takes her swollen bud between his lips and sucks hard.

D : "Let go, baby."

Hermione lets out a cry, grabs a fistful of Draco's hair and comes crashing down around him.

Only after she rode her high and stilled did he wipe her dripping juices off his chin and get to his feet.

H : "Well, that was..."

She hopes off the counter and attempts to stand on wobbly legs.

Draco licks his cum stained lips and grins.

D : "Something else."

H : Yes, something else.

Draco muses .

D: "And we havent even kissed yet."

Post orgasm bliss aside, Hermione asks.

H : "Why didn't you sit next to me? Do you still think me dirty?"

Dirty, was the woman mad? She fucking came in his mouth and he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Draco pulls Hermione close and kisses her.

The kiss is no gentle exchange between lovers, its hard, fast and demanding

He pries her stubborn lips open with his tongue and slips it in to seek the inner sweetness, they grab onto each other fighting for dominance, until, she breaks free and surfaces for air.

Draco nibbles on the heated flesh of her neck and whispers.

D : "That's your cum you taste on my tongue, do you honestly believe your blood status means fuck all to me?"

He places a tender kiss to her lips

D : Actually, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment of mingling with an ex Death Eater.

Hermione shoves him playfully.

H : "Sod it, sit with me tomorrow."

D : "You dig your own grave, Granger."

A distinctive tent decorated Draco's trousers, he cups the bulge and adjusts his painfully hard erection.

H : "Oh, you're still hard, let me..."

D : "We don't have time."

Hermione's face falls in disappointment and Draco smirks.

D : "Don't worry about it, you can make up for it tomorrow."

Draco picks up the discarded yellow knickers and pockets them.

D : "I'm keeping these by the way."

H : "You cant be serious?"

D : "I rather enjoy the thought of you walking about the castle knickerless."

H : "You fucking smug prat."

D : "Blue is my favourite colour, Granger."

Draco lifts the spell and walks out.

Funny, she would've bet her left tit that it was black.

[waithyuck]

TRICKY

pairing: elf! na jaemin x reader (f) **halloweenie special**

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 3k

warnings: {OKAY IM PUTTING A WARNING FOR VERY MILD *DUB-CON* BC TECHNICALLY THE READER IS TRICKED , BUT IN THE END OBVIOUSLY CONSENTS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED}, sexual content (fingering, dry humping), explicit language, use of several pet names, possessive behavior and vocabulary, reader just wants to find her damn cat but gets a whole lot more than that, bad attempts at explaining folklore, I’m sorry for any inaccuracies 😬 **ALSO UNEDITED**

a/n: **repost bc tumblr sucks** this is definitely more of my own spin on what I think an elf would be like, so sorry to those of you who are into the lore and stuff 🥺

< previous | next >

~10/14/2020~

~~~~

your grandmother was always a very smart woman, and you knew that very well. so when she told you not to do something, you made sure to NEVER do it.

you lived with her on the very outskirts of your town; your own backyard made up of a very dense forest with enough trees in it to block out almost all sunlight. your bedroom window faced the forest, and every night you were forced to stare at it as you sat at your desk, contemplating what went on in there.

your grandmother repeatedly told you to never go in there, no matter what, ever since you were a child. she would talk about all kinds of crazy things, like witches and faeries, and even elves.

the first time she told you about the dark forest, you were only six years old.

“you can’t go in there, y/n.” she said seriously, crouching before you as you stood in the kitchen with her. “no matter how much it may call you, you can never enter it.”

you didn’t understand, so of course, in typical child fashion, you questioned her.

“well why not?” you shot back, crossing your arms and pouting. she stood back up after looking at you for a second, going back to mixing brownie batter in a large bowl.

“the fae are dangerous creatures. the forest is littered with them, my dear.” she stopped for a moment, gazing out the kitchen window and into the thick gathering of trees and plant life. “the elves will claim you once you enter, and you may never be able to escape again.”

after that, she didn’t say much else to you about it.

at first, you thought she was just trying to scare you into not wandering off, but after a while you began to believe her.

there would be strange noises in the night; like whispers calling out to you from the direction of your window. it creeped you out but you tried to convince yourself it was just your imagination playing tricks on you.

your life continued on like that for years, and eventually it didn’t phase you at all. you were used to the nightly whispers now, and even your cat didn’t seem to mind them, if she could hear them at all.

you never told your grandmother about them, however. she was getting old and you didn’t want to be the reason she had a heart attack, as awful as that sounded.

for being as old as she was, she still got around pretty good, and there were days when she left you along for a good few hours to go out on walks with her other old lady friends.

it was really cute.

today was just like any other day like that; your grandmother left around eleven in the morning to go out, leaving you some breakfast on the counter for when you inevitably stumbled out of your room at one o’clock in the afternoon.

everything seemed normal. you ate in silence and scrolled through your phone at the kitchen table, but then noticed something was right.

looking around you, you noticed your cat was nowhere in sight. she would usually be up on the table sitting and staring at you or rubbing against your leg for no reason, but currently she was nowhere to be found.

at first you just assumed she was sleeping somewhere else, but after eating you searched the house and couldn’t find her anywhere. walking back into the kitchen you happened to glance outside and your heart jumped in your chest.

then you started to panic.

looking out into the backyard you saw her stark white fur disappear into the thick brush of the forest, and you almost screamed out loud at the sight.

“fuck,” you exclaimed, your heart racing and your mind thinking of all the ways to try to get her back. you were always advised to not go into the forest...but you couldn’t let your poor cat who you loved very dearly to get mauled out there by some bigger animal.

you had to go after her.

you mustered you all the courage you had inside you, not bothering to change out of your ratty shorts and t-shirt before shoving your feet in your sneakers. you let out a shaky breath as you walked into your backyard, staring down the darkness of the forest with determination.

as you apprehensively made your way to the very entrance of the brush, you spotted a large crooked stick, and didn’t hesitate to grab it to use as a weapon if necessary.

you didn’t want to be completely defenseless against any supernatural creatures you came across. you had a gut feeling that running into one would be inevitable, and the fear rang like a siren in the back of your mind like a sonata.

the ‘do not enter’ and ‘keep out: danger’ signs did nothing to ease your pounding heart and screaming nerves, but you pressed on regardless. you had to do this, for your stupid cat.

with one large step, you passed the boundary of the trees, the wind picking up as soon as you did. a chill ran down your spine but you kept your legs moving, careful not to break your ankles on any protruding roots. it was incredibly dark, even though the sun was high in the sky, but the leaves of the towering trees cut out almost all light.

you stumbled around aimlessly for what felt like hours, but in reality it had only probably been about 45 minutes before you stopped and took a breather. checking your phone for the time, you felt a pang in your chest when you realized that it was off, and wouldn’t turn back on no matter how hard you tried.

“fuck,” you muttered, fear creeping up on your soul once again. you really didn’t want to be in this forest longer than necessary, and you really seriously contemplated just leaving your cat behind, as horrible as that was.

your eyes gazed around, taking in the trees surrounding you. nothing seemed too out of the ordinary...all though you really though you saw a few small dashes of light fly around you through your periphery. you prayed that they weren’t pixies or fairies of whatever else your grandmother told you about.

you didn’t trust anything, no matter how beautiful or non-threatening they seemed to be on the outside.

“hello there.” a voice spoke out suddenly, causing you to jump and spin around, dropping your makeshift weapon in the process.

your eyes met the sight of a young man who looked to be around your age, with a slightly unsettling smile upon his face. he was almost too handsome; the beauty that emanated from him in waves was incredibly addicting, and you felt the pull of him immediately. it was hard to tear your eyes away, and that scared you.

you had no idea where he had come from, nor did you know how he managed to so quietly sneak up behind you like he did. you definitely would have heard him coming, considering the amount of twigs and leaves littering the ground at your feet.

your heart raced at the possibility of who, or what, he was, your mind trying to go through everything your sweet old grandmother ever told you. some inner part of you already knew what you were dealing with.

“don’t hurt yourself, darling,” the man spoke again, referencing to your mind working in overtime. he took a step forward toward you, and in turn you took a large stumbling step back. he watched you move, chuckling. “I’m jaemin, care to tell me your name?”

“n-no,” you managed to say, your hands clutched at your chest as you tried to calm your racing heart. you swore you saw his eyes flicker a bright aquamarine for a moment before returning back to brown as his smile faltered slightly. It came back a split second later.

“you’re a smart girl,” he purred, most likely realizing that you knew he wasn’t human, inching closer once more. you felt frozen, unable to step back like you truly wanted to, and you willed yourself not to panic. “you know what I am, I presume?”

your lips shook as you opened your mouth to speak, your tongue running over your chapped lips and he watched every single movement, causing your body to shiver.

“I have a-an idea,” you softly whispered, not breaking eye contact as he stopped in front of you. he didn’t say a word, only smiling at you as you stayed frozen in your spot. one word screamed in your mind: elf. you didn’t even have to look at his pointed ears to deduct that. the vibe he gave off was abundantly clear, even if you had never encountered another being of his kind before.

it didn’t feel like he was compelling you; it was more or less your reaction to the immense shock and fear you felt, coming in contact with a creature your grandmother always warned you about.

and it’s all because of your dumb cat.

“l-look dude, I’m just trying to find my cat.” you stated strongly now, holding your ground as best you could as he looked at you intensely, that slightly unsettling smile never leaving his face.

“once it entered the forest it became mine.” he simply retorted, leaning against the tree trunk beside him. “anything that passes the trees here belongs to me…” he paused for a moment, his eyes now glowing a full bright aquamarine, startling you as he seared his gaze through your very soul. “so I guess that means you’re mine as well. how lucky.”

the elf spoke softly, but there was an edge to his tone that made you shiver, paired with his choice of words.

“I-I’m not..” you stuttered, your fists clenched by your sides. was he the ruler of the forest? some sort of elf king?

“you’re not?” he asked, chuckling to himself as he pushed his body from the tree, slowly slithering toward you on his bare feet. “did you not hear what I said? everything in this forest is mine. that includes living creatures,” you had no willpower to move away as he crowded your space, his glowing eyes paralyzing you as his body drew closer and closer. “I wonder what I should do with my new possession.” he smirked to himself, reaching a pale hand out to gently cup your chin, laughing lowly as you instinctively flinched. “you are without a doubt the prettiest thing I’ve seen enter my domain in years, princess. I’ve been waiting for you.”

his last sentence threw you off, but for a moment your brain couldn’t remember the whispers you heard all those years, and it didn’t click. you couldn’t deny that this elf man was attractive; and you couldn’t deny the fact that his voice had your legs weakening with every word he spoke. you cursed yourself mentally for being affected by him, because deep down you were aware of the danger of encountering elves.

thinking back to your cat, you wondered why she would have left the house in the first place. she was lazy and never wanted to really move...unless something was calling her…

your heart seemed to stop beating and your blood ran cold.

“you tr-tricked me…” you said in realization, your eyes widening. “you tricked me into coming in here, using m-my cat!” your voice was panicked and you found it hard to breathe. then, your brain finally figured it out. “you’re the one that’s been whispering to me all these years, aren’t y-you?”

he smiled at you with dark aquamarine eyes, and now you weren’t sure how you were going to get yourself out of this mess.

you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to get out of this mess.

wait, what?, your eyes widened at your own thoughts, where did that come from??

suddenly and without warning, your entire body was grasped in his hold. his hands dominantly gripped your waist and flipped you around so that your front was smacked up against a tree, the sharp bark scratching your cheek as your face was scraped against it.

“you’re my kitty now.” his voice whispered directly into your ear, his breath causing your body to visibly shiver in his hold.

you didn’t mean to whine, you really didn’t, but when he his teeth found your ear and nibbled gently on the skin, you couldn’t hold it in. your legs trembled beneath you as your knees weakened, the feeling of his warm body pressed tightly against your back leaving you wanting more and more.

he pressed deceivingly sweet kisses along your neck, your hands clutching the bark of the tree in response, your nails scratching along the surface. you jolted when you felt his right hand move down your front and nestle between your legs, putting pressure right against your covered center.

“hmm, you want it, don’t you?” he mumbled quietly, his chest rumbling against your back. “your thoughts are so loud, I know you can’t resist me.”

your thighs clenched in anticipation as he ran his long fingers delicately along your core through your shorts, and you let out a breathy whimper in response.

he tsk’d at you, giving your pussy a light slap through the thin fabric before completely drawing it away. “I wanna hear you say yes, kitty.”

his voice was demanding as he spoke, and you couldn’t disobey.

with your eyes glazing over, you gripped the tree trunk tightly and mewled out, “yes!”

you could practically hear him smirk, his chuckling causing you to grow even more wet as he finally slipped his hand down your front and into your shorts. when his long finger reached your bare and sensitive nub, you could help but arch your back, causing your ass to press tightly against his rapidly hardening cock. he groaned right in your ear, his hips bucking and grinding against your behind in time with his strokes against your clit.

“you’re already so wet, darling,” he moaned out, dipping his finger down to circle your entrance. “I could just...slide right in.” with those words, he slipped his index finger into you in one clean movement, his long finger reaching deep inside your pussy.

you cried out when the tip of his finger brushed a sweet spot inside you, and you heard him groan in response, a deep chuckle following.

“good girl,” he muttered, casually slipping his middle finger inside you beside his pointer. the stretch had you throwing you head back, giving him access to your pretty neck. “be as loud as you want, baby. it’s just me, you, and the forest now.”

his hips grinding against your from behind never ceased, and he thrusted his fingers to the same rhythm as his hips. he was literally fingerfucking you; before you knew it he was adding a third finger.

to help with the burn of the stretch, he reached his free hand down and used two fingers to pinch and roll your clit, making you squeeze your eyes shut and clench your teeth at the sudden immense pleasure you were feeling.

it was embarrassing, but you were already so close to reaching your high. you really wanted this feeling to last forever, so you tried to hold it as long as you could.

the noises escaping from you only grew louder the harder he went; the powerful strokes from his hips driving you into the bark of the tree and his fingers plowing deep inside you had you practically screaming.

his lips found your neck and he left wet kisses there, his grains and growls only enhancing your feelings of ecstasy. he sounded like sin, and even though he was an elven boy that you had just stumbled across, you knew you didn’t want him to leave your life. you never wanted to live in a world where you couldn’t hear his moans, and that thought almost terrified you. the effect he was having on you was extremely intense, and you weren’t sure if it was normal, but at this point you were far too gone to care.

“are you gonna cum, kitty?” he strained out, breaking you out of your thought as his hips stuttered against your ass, his fingers still powerfully fucking into you. you could only nod desperately, your throat sore from the guttural sounds you were releasing.

he let out a breathy laugh, causing your walls to flutter around his digits. “then cum. I wanna feel you fucking drench my fingers.”

his words were all it took for you to let go. you screamed as you came, your nails scratching against the tree as your cheek scraped sharply on the bark, most likely drawing blood. your pussy clamped so hard around his fingers that he could barely move them in and out of you, so he drew circles over your clit to help you ride out your orgasm.

his hips pressed tightly against you, and you could feel through your own pants the wet spot on the front of his, indicating that he had cum as well.

after a powerful minute of cumming, you felt your eyes droop in exhaustion almost immediately. jaemin withdrew his fingers from you, wiping your essence on his pants before grouping your waist to keep you from collapsing. you definitely would have fallen if it weren’t for his hold on you.

he gently lowered you to the ground, turning your body so your back was able to rest against the trunk. he wiped at the scratches on your cheek with his thumb, but even though it stung you didn’t have the energy to flinch.

“go to sleep, precious.” he said softly, still stroking your face lovingly. his gentle nature should have set off all of the alarms in your mind and body, but you didn’t have enough energy to care.

in the back of your mind you realized that you probably would never see your cat or your grandmother again, and that you would most likely be trapped in this forest with jaemin for the rest of your days on earth. you didn't want to think about it now, so you took his advice and allowed your eyes to close, dreaming of jaemin and nothing else.

maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

[fukuwuzawa]

Could you please do a nsfw Ranpo where the reader accidentally eats the snack he was looking forward to having all day and so he decides to “punish” her for it? Thanks!

snacking | ranpo x female reader {nsfw}

Utter, harrowing betrayal. A completely unforeseen and deeply upsetting turn of events, taking the form of an empty bag of sweets. The packaging, brutally torn open by a cruel hand, is almost enough to make him tear up a little. This snack…it wasn’t available to buy in Japan, he had Tanizaki order it for him from another country. It was a most coveted snack; one he was saving for a special occasion. And after working hard on cases all day, he decided it was about time he finally sat down and enjoyed it, as he rightfully deserved, being the greatest detective and all.

But now, it's all gone. He stares at the few sorry crumbs left, lower lip quivering, before setting his mouth in a tight frown. It was a huge mistake on his part to fail to take into account the possibility of something like this happening. However, now that it did, there is no doubt left in his mind as to who is the culprit.

Naively unsuspecting of the hell you just unleashed, you sit on one of the couches in the Agency, finishing that report Kunikida’s been on your ass about for forever. You’ve been struggling with it for the last three hours and were only being kept alive by sugar and sheer willpower alone. To finally hit enter and close your laptop feels like freedom. Sighing contently, you set it aside on the table…then smile warmly at the sight of your boyfriend standing in the door.

“You’re done for today too?” You call out to him, patting the place next to you, signaling him to sit down.

Uncharacteristically quiet, Ranpo follows your instructions. You’re about to repeat your question when he suddenly pounces on you, wasting no time in invading your mouth with his tongue. Taken aback but not complaining in the slightest, you let him, moaning into the kiss a little. Too soon, he pulls away. Confused, you wipe at your mouth, breaking the string of saliva still connecting you, before asking. “What was that for?”

“That, my dear,” he replies, face painfully serious as he studies yours thoroughly, “was forensics.”

“Forensics?!” You repeat, flabbergasted.

“Do not play dumb! It’s no use, I already tasted them on your mouth. You ate my Twinkies!” Ranpo accuses, flicking your forehead mercilessly. “Those Twinkies travelled all the way from the States just for an opportunity to end up in my tummy, and you assassinated them before they even got the chance!”

Just then, realization strikes you. “You mean…the Twinkies I found on the kitchen counter were yours?!”

“Who else’s?” He cries.

“I figured if they belonged to you, you’d already have them locked up somewhere, so I thought they were free game,” you rush to explain yourself, knowing how Ranpo gets when his snacks are concerned.

But it seems to be too little and far too late. The greatest detective lets out a hopeless wail before burying his face into your chest and staying perfectly still.

“You aren’t mad at me, Ranpo-kun, are you?” You carefully remove his hat before running your fingers gently through his hair.

He only grunts, but you don’t give up, petting his hair more aggressively to show you mean business.

“Don’t be unreasonable now. I’m sure I can find some way to make it up for you. Is there anything you want me to do?” At this, he perks up, raising his head to look at you. His eyes shine just like when using Super Deduction, and somehow that’s almost intimidating.

“Actually, there is something…” You caress his cheek, coaxing him to tell you already. “What is it?”

“Seeing as you ate my Twinkies…I guess you’ll have to do as my snack for the night,” he murmurs, making your face heat up.

“Y-you mean -”

“Precisely,” he cuts you off, positioning himself in between your legs.

Frantically, you look at the open door and your heart jumps at the thought of someone walking in on you, someone hearing. The Agency is empty, should be for the rest of the night, but the possibility of someone interrupting is still there. “Here?!”

“Snacks taste the best at work, don’t they?” He muses, his fingers busy with the zipper on your skirt. He slides it down your legs and throws it on the ground carelessly, before doing the same with your underwear. Instinctively, you try to close your thighs but he doesn’t let you, keeping them open with a kneading grip.

“Ah, I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” he says teasingly, or maybe seriously, before licking his lips and diving in for a treat.

Your hand flies to your mouth to silence the noises you can’t help but produce when his soft lips touch your sex, moving at a pace that could only be described as starved. You suppose this is what you deserve for stealing his snack. There is no method to this particular madness, no pattern in which he moves his tongue, but what he lacks in technique he more than makes up for with sheer force and enthusiasm. Hungrily, he licks all over your cunt, his nose occasionally bumping into your clit as his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips to keep you from grinding against his face. It’s cruel. He teases you skillfully, by being either too much or not enough, but never what you need. A perfect payback for your misdeed, his form of punishment.

“Ranpo, please,” you mewl, pulling at this hair to direct him where you must need it, “feels so good, so perfect, more...”

To your horror, he stops altogether, flashing you a grin before speaking in fake annoyance. “Why are you interrupting me while I’m snacking? Haven’t you done enough bad for today?”

You whimper, unable to form a single coherent sentence. Satisfied with that reply, he momentarily retreats from between your thighs to give you a hot, open-mouthed kiss on which you can taste yourself. You moan his name. How is it that he manages to make you lose your reservations, your inhibitions so easily? Not half an hour ago you were busy working on the assignment Kunikida gave to you, and here you are now, begging to get tongue-fucked in an open office. You can’t deny it doesn’t give you a sort of a thrill though, and judging by Ranpo’s deranged expression, so can’t he.

“You wanna know what my favorite part of a Twinkie is?” He pants into your ear. He feels decidedly hard against your thigh, and you helpfully rut against him to provide some sort of friction. It’s his turn to whimper.

“I don’t know, what is?” You ask, despite already knowing the answer.

He grins from ear to ear. “The filling.”

And with those words, he returns to his previous position, only with ten times the vigor. You shudder when you feel him plunge his tongue deep inside your pussy, hear him slurp and swallow. His thumb moves on your clit in tight circles, bringing you closer and closer. This time when you instinctively pull on his hair and grind against him, he lets you, until it doesn’t feel like punishment at all. Everything – his mouth, his fingers, his little noises, it’s just enough to send you over the edge. With a choked scream, you cum undone on his tongue. Only when you come down from your high do you slap a hand across your mouth in horror. The people on the floors beneath you…what if they heard?!

You’re about to scold your boyfriend for putting you in such an embarrassing situation, or maybe propose a second round, when he yawns suddenly.

“I always feel so sleepy after eating a snack…I think I’m going to take a nap now…” The little bastard smiles up at you before nuzzling your thigh, his eyelids already growing heavy. “Hmm…so soft. You make a perfect pillow ♥ ~”

You sigh. You know you will have to get dressed eventually, but for now you’re satisfied leaving him like that

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad I ate your Twinkies.”

(so this was my first request on this blog...i hope it’s not too long, or too short, or too dorky or too anything. and i hope it was up to your expectations, sweet anon, and that everyone enjoyed it <3 i sure enjoyed writing it haha! ranpo is my fave <3)

[theimmaterialplace]

i’ll give you all you want if you just ask | spencer reid x f!reader | ch. 1 of 2: all i need

Summary: It doesn’t take a profiler to notice that Spencer Reid is nervous around you. Half of the team finds it funny and the other half just ignores it. What you don’t know is why. Well, you have an idea but you’d rather not be wrong in your deduction and make a fool of yourself and make him just avoid you completely.

See, it’s not that you just make him nervous, it’s that you make him excited. He perks up every time you enter a room and shoots you a shy smile, never making eye contact. He shivers any time you accidentally, or purposefully because you can’t help yourself, brush against him. He follows your lead eagerly and without complaint, able to connect the pieces you’ve put together. Perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the way he reacts to your praise.

Oh, how his reactions always excite you.  

Contains: hints of light dom/sub undertones, teasing, praise kink. no actual smut yet, just a bit of kissing and allusions to sex. enabler!hotch. 

Word Count: 1.7k

Comments: hello im back this very self indulgent fic! i just love sub!spencer to pieces and there aren't enough fics with him featuring that so i'm here to remedy that! also just assume rossi had a date or something and couldn't make it! i'd say this takes place before a bit before the reaper arc! also i fucking adore hotch and HAD to make him an enabler because he just wants his team to be happy!! he cares for them!! if you’d rather read this on ao3, here’s the link! finally, leave a comment/review so ik how yall feel! reblogs are also highly appreciated! :)

It doesn’t take a profiler to notice that Spencer Reid is nervous around you. Half of the team finds it funny and the other half just ignores it. What you don’t know is why . Well, you have an idea but you’d rather not be wrong in your deduction and make a fool of yourself and make him just avoid you completely.

See, it’s not that you just make him nervous, it’s that you make him excited . He perks up every time you enter a room and shoots you a shy smile, never making eye contact. He shivers any time you accidentally, or purposefully because you can’t help yourself, brush against him. He follows your lead eagerly and without complaint, able to connect the pieces you’ve put together. Perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the way he reacts to your praise.

Oh, how his reactions always excite you.  

You’d conducted an experiment over the past few months. At first, you had given him compliments such as “I like your outfit today” or “good work on today’s case”, harmless things. He had reacted as well as you expected, blushing the tiniest bit and muttering a thank you in response.

Next, you decided to take a page out of Morgan’s book and call him pretty boy which eventually turned into a whole slew of nicknames revolving around praising him. The first time you had called him pretty boy, he had burned his mouth because he gulped his coffee too quickly. His face was a bright red and he was incapable of meeting your eyes for the rest of the day. As it was, that was a great reaction but your favorite had to be the time you called him a good boy. He had looked up at you with wide eyes and his pupils had dilated so much that you barely saw his original eye color. Now that should’ve been enough to confirm your beliefs but you decided to take it a step farther.

The most recent trial had you calling him your boy, a possessive indicator. There was no hiding your intentions with this one so you made sure to only call him that in private; no need for the team to know. It seemed like no matter how many times you called him yours, one way or another, it still had the same effect on him.

With this information, you had no doubt that Spencer was interested in you and seemed to lean on the sub side of things. It was cute. He was cute. He was just your type in men. You loved nothing more than a man who was intellectual and would let you take control, which you had no doubt Spencer would allow.

It’s on a Saturday night when everyone decides to get drinks, a rare occasion, that you decide to make a move. Well, you’re actually encouraged to by someone you would least expect.

“So, when do you plan on making a move on Spencer?” It takes everything in you not to choke on the fruity drink you were sipping on when Hotch speaks up. You turn your head to look at him and find him staring at you with a smug, knowing look on his face.

“I’d say I have no idea what you’re talking about, but that’d be a lie and also an insult to you.” A small grin creeps onto his face with your response. It’s nice to see him so relaxed because god only knows how much your boss deserves to let loose every once in a while.

“Hm, you’re avoiding the question. Don’t tell me that all those pet names and touches were for nothing.” It’s a good thing you’re lightly buzzed because otherwise you’d feel completely mortified over the revelation that your boss had picked up on your actions. As you are now though, you can only let out a laugh and smile sharply at his remark.

“Course not, Hotch. As for an answer to your question,” you pause and look across the bar to where he’s laughing at something Penelope said, “I think it won’t be too long now. He’s just so… receptive .” He only hums, taking another sip of what you think is whiskey.

“Well don’t take too long.” And perhaps it’s his encouragement or just the liquid courage but you decide that now is a good time to get your boy. You excuse yourself quietly and give Hotch a small wave which he returns with a small smirk on his face.

When you finally reach Spencer, it’s to him saying goodbye to the rest of the team.

“Come on, stay for a bit longer. We’ll have a fun time. We always do.” Derek might be able to convince him if he keeps going on like this so you decide to interrupt.

“Hey, guys!” Everyone turns to look at you and they all clammer to ask you how you’ve been, giving Spencer the out he needed.

“So, what were you talking about with the boss man? I saw some very interesting expressions over there, babe.” Penelope has a sly grin on her face as the rest of the team “oohs” at her statement.

“Oh, just a little bit of this, little bit of that. Don’t tell me you thought I was flirting with him…” at this, their shoulders drop a little, “Oh my god, come on, you guys! As if I’d flirt with Hotch. You guys though…. You’re all free real estate.” You wink at them in good fun.

“You’re almost as bad as Derek with your flirting, you know that?” Emily takes a sip of her drink and JJ nods, agreeing with her completely.

“Now, there’s no need to insult me like that, ladies. At least I take my flirting seriously. When was the last time you even got laid?” You can feel Spencer’s eyes on you so you decide not to answer.

“I plead the fifth!” This gets you a round of laughs and you decide now is a good time to tell them you’re leaving and start your plan.

“Well, I’m glad everyone is having a good time but I really gotta go,” this earns you a round of “boos”, “I know. I know. Sure it may be old lady behavior but I have plans tomorrow morning. You guys have fun for me though!”

JJ speaks up, “Oh, since you’re leaving right now, would you mind taking Spencer home? I was going to give him a ride since the metro is closed tonight but you’re already leaving so I figured why not?” You only nod while internally you can’t help but think this is going even more perfectly than you originally thought.

You look over to Spencer who’s already looking at you. “You okay with that, pretty boy?” He nods and even with the lighting of the club, you can recognize his cheeks flushing.

You turn back to the rest of them to address them,“Well, goodnight guys! Be safe and I’ll see you Monday if everything goes well! Love you!”

After receiving the mandatory goodbye hugs and kisses, you grab Spencer’s hand and lead him out of the club. It’s a good thing you parked far away because now you have time to set the mood.

“How many drinks have you had tonight? You look moderately red, Spence.” It’s a good starter because you need to know he’s not drunk and that this is fully consensual but also to call him out on his blushing.

“I didn’t drink tonight. Didn’t really feel like it so I just nursed a coke and I think the team thought it was a mixed drink.” His voice is heavenly and you personally can’t wait to hear what he sounds like moaning your name or any other name you both decide on.

You stop for a moment and place the back of your hand on his forehead before you announce, “Good news, you don’t have a fever! Bad news, I can’t place why else you’d be so red.” He splutters for a moment and your red only turns him more red.

“Yeah,” his voice cracks and you feel his palm become sweaty despite the cool temperature, “I don’t know why either.”

He’s so adorable if he thinks you’re gonna let him off the hook so easily. You lean in closer to him and whisper, “You know, my darling… I think I do know why you’re so red right now and it’s the same reason you’re always blushing around me,” you can hear him audibly gulp but he doesn't display any signals for you to stop so you continue, “The team used to think it was because I made you nervous and while that is partially correct, I think it’s because I made you excited, right?”

You stop in your tracks and you’re grateful you timed this correctly because you’re able to back him onto your car.

He’s looking down at you, eyes wide and pupils dilated, and you can’t help the smirk that graces your face. He looks so good like this but you think he’d look better looking up at you from his knees.

You reach up to cradle his face in your hands and say,“Tell me if you want this, Spencer. If you say no, I’ll stop and we’ll never have to speak of this again but… If you do want this, say please and I’ll take you home.”

He’s looking at you with something close to adoration and his admission is so quiet that if you hadn’t been staring so intently at him, you wouldn’t have heard him or read the plea that fell from his lips.

“Please.”

Oh, how that one little word sounded like music to your ears.

You take the last leap and lean forward to kiss him. His lips are exactly how you pictured and he tastes like the chapstick you gave him on that case to Alaska. This makes you feel unbearably smug because if he’s been using this chapstick rather than his usual one, it means you’ve affected even more than you thought.

When you finally pull away, Spencer looks confused and very rumpled.

“As much as I would love to continue this, I’d rather we didn’t do this in a parking lot for our first time.” He perks up at “first time” and you smile at him, “and there will be plenty of times to do this later. You’re not getting rid of me now that you’ve finally succumbed to my advances.”

“I agree.” He smiles at you and you take his hand into your own, giving it a light squeeze.

“Now, let’s get to my apartment so we can continue this."

[bigskydreaming]

Speaking of Boone, the other day I had a very weird crack!fic kinda idea that’s like The Hangover + superheroes + why is my brain like this. Basically, there’s a public figure in Vegas that’s being targeted for assassination and Dick’s the Titan available to handle protecting them. Boone of course is the assassin hired for the job. 

Somehow this leads to them both waking up in bed together with wedding rings on and absolutely no idea what happened the night before. Cue mutual exclamations of “ugh, not YOU” followed by the obligatory fight scene but in their underwear (the trashed honeymoon suite gets charged to the Titans’ expense account later and there is much clearing of throats and “Dick, you wanna explain this” to be had). And then both go to do their jobs but discover the public figure that’s the reason they’re both there is now mysteriously missing. And Dick’s searching high and low for him in order to protect him and Boone’s searching high and low for him in order to kill him, and their searches keep crossing paths and getting them in each other’s way. 

And somehow they end up working together to rescue him from an unknown third party so that Boone can kill him then and Dick can stop him from killing him, look, its not a perfect arrangement but its better than them tackling each other through seven story windows every other hotel on their search routes. They can at least agree that that’s definitely slowing both of them down. And they really do need to figure out who actually has the target if Dick’s gonna protect them and Boone’s gonna get paid, cuz apparently that only happens if HE kills the target, not just if the target ends up dead for other reasons. He already checked. Just to be sure, see.

Meanwhile, they still have absolutely no idea what happened the night before and are mostly convinced the other is somehow behind it.

Dick: This kinda stunt is right up your alley, Boone. I mean I’m not sure why or what it gains you exactly, but that’s exactly what makes it something you would do! Your mind is so incomprehensible and every breath you take irks me and I am mightily irked therefor clearly, you must be responsible.

Boone: Ahah! I always knew you wanted in my pants and now I have proof! Admit it, its the only possible explanation! Nothing else makes sense! Nuh-uh-uh, dooooon’t even try and throw me off course with your so-called “deductive reasoning” pfft, I know what’s really going on here. I figured it out, I win, you lose. Suck it, nerd.

Dick: How am I a nerd, exactly?

Boone: Umm, idk, you just are? That’s just what you call a teacher’s pet, which is, uh, obviously you? Boom. Nailed it.

Dick: What are you even talking about? If anyone’s a teacher’s pet here its you! You had your nose so far up Shrike’s ass.....

Boone: Was that before you killed him? Or was that after you killed him?

Dick: For the last. Fucking. Time. I. Did. Not. Kill. Him. He FELL. And wow you really did NOT think through how that just sounded.

Boone: LOL, yeah okay the incredibly skilled master assassin ‘tripped and fell’. Makes total sense. Why would I possibly doubt you. Oh I feel so foolish now.

Dick: Maybe that has to do with your outfit. Orange, seriously? With your skin tone? And I never said he tripped and fell, Two-Face shot him and then he fell. Kinda a key contributing factor there.

Boone: Hateful. You’re HATEFUL. And people in disco-themed leotards should not throw stones. Also, for the record, Two-Face couldn’t have shot him if YOU’D just shot Two-Face earlier that night like you were SUPPOSED to.

Dick: Oh I see so first I’m responsible for Shrike’s death because I killed him and now I’m to blame because I didn’t kill someone? 

Boone: La la la la there you go trying to confuse me with logic again but I’m not listening! La la la la la!

The henchman they’d both been after pipes up then: Do you two need a room? Like damn, I thought you were only fake-married but clearly I was wrong.

Boone: Literally how dare you.

Dick: Wow. Just wow.

They both knock him out simultaneously and then wince. Ooops. He was their lead. Dammit. Now they have to wait for him to wake up.

Dick: Can you believe the nerve of that guy?

Boone: Where does he even get off getting uppity with us? He’s a total amateur! We had him down in like, two moves! I mean seriously, who even trained him?

Dick: Tell you one thing, he would have never made it in Vengeance Academy, that’s for damn sure.

Boone: Pfft. Loser would have washed out on day one. Even Dennis could have kicked his ass back when we were twelve. Hey you remember Dennis right?

Dick: Ohhhhh man, Dennis! Wow, haven’t thought about him in years. Hey whatever happened to him anyway, do you know?

Boone: I heard he ended up working for either Vandal Savage or Count Vertigo. It was one of those ‘ruling the world is my divine right and I like to smite my minions when they fail me or I just have low blood sugar’ types. Can’t remember which. He’s definitely dead though, that part I’m clear on.

Dick: Huh. Yeah, that sounds about right. He was not good.

Boone: He really wasn’t.

Both stop and stare at each other suspiciously, because what, now they’re AGREEING with each other? What fresh hell is this. Seriously. Who is refereeing this even and what does it take to get a flag on the play.

They do ultimately concede that there might, MIGHT be a slim, infinitesimal possibility this unknown third party has something to do with it as some kind of distraction or way to keep them occupied, but even if that turns out to be the case they’re still like 92.67% sure the other is still ultimately to blame for that somehow. 

Look they’ve run the numbers and the math doesn’t lie.

[crystalirises]

A Gift from the Gods

I am... on a brainrot. So now everyone has to suffer with me <3

Also, please note that this contains Trans Fundy and as such, in one section he's referred to as a "she" and by the name "Flora". I just honestly really like the idea and it makes me really happy reading fics like that since it's honestly very relatable sometimes.

(Also also, Wilbur and Schlatt here are best friends and yes they raised Fundy together for a bit but pls do not ship them. Platonic parenting exists. Please do not ship them. For the love of god, do not ship them :) )

TW: Mild Body Horror and Kidnapping

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886223/chapters/78095399

“What you got there, loverboy?” He rolled his eyes at his best friend’s antics, the man slamming right into his side in his quest to see past his shoulders. The little bundle in his arms squirmed, a small whine piercing through the air, which caused Schlatt to stumble back in surprise. He glanced behind him to see Schlatt fall right onto the grass, his drunken state not really helping his sense of balance. “Wha— What the fuck? That’s… That’s a fucking baby!”

“Your skills of deduction are out of this world, Schlatt. They really are.” He trudged past him and towards the camp they’d set up. His wet clothes weighed him down, making it difficult to reach the campfire that Schlatt must’ve made in his absence. He reached the camp at the same time that Schlatt did, the drunk man was somehow much faster than him. He cradled the baby in his arms, shushing and rocking them until the baby was cooing again, beady golden-flecked brown eyes staring up at him with joy. While he waited for his clothes to dry, Schlatt sat across from him, downing another bottle of alcohol. He chuckled, rolling his eyes despite his disgust at the stench of whiskey. Even the baby hated it, for the baby had begun whining and pawing at their noise. Schlatt wiped a bit of drool from his chin. “Third bottle and you’re already wasted? Maybe your age is finally catching up to you, old man. I thought we had forever, Schlatt.”

“Shut the fuck up, Wil.” Schlatt’s brown eyes shone underneath the fire’s light, casting them in the hue of a setting sun. The man placed the bottle back inside his bag, jostling the other bottles of alcohol that were inside. “Did you kidnap it? What’s it for? Bait for tomorrow’s trial?”

“What? No!” He held the baby closer to his chest, throwing his best friend a sharp glare. The baby giggled, gurgling while his little hands tried to reach for the feather necklace that Wilbur wore around his neck. He nervously chuckled, adjusting the necklace so that the baby wouldn’t accidentally grab it. He couldn’t afford to lose it. He let the baby play with his finger instead, keeping in mind to make sure that the baby didn’t actually put his finger inside their mouth. “I met someone by the river, she’d just finished her trial but… she was too injured and well she…”

“Fuck…” Schlatt groaned, running a hand through his face. “This place is fucking hell, Wilbur.”

“I know. We just… We just need to get through the trials, Schlatt.” The baby yawned in his arms, snuggling deeper into his yellow sweater. Schlatt chuckled, a small smile on his face, but it was quickly replaced with a scowl once Wilbur met his eyes. He rolled his eyes, at least his best friend wasn’t telling him to get rid of the baby. Sally - the nice lady that he had met by the riverside - had begged him to take her baby, that she couldn’t die without the assurance that her child was being cared for. He hadn’t wanted to take the baby, terrified of the idea of fatherhood. Schlatt and Wilbur weren’t exactly parent material. Schlatt didn’t know his parents and Wilbur’s parents were— He didn’t like thinking about them that much. He subconsciously began to tug on his feather necklace. “We’ll get out of this shithole. Just the three of us. We’ll get out of here.”

“This isn’t a place for kids… How the hell did a baby get here? The gods are such fucking assholes.” Thunder rumbled in the sky despite the lack of clouds, causing both of them to wince. Schlatt muttered an apology underneath his breath, and that was all they could do to hope that the gods didn’t decide to punish them for their blasphemy. Schlatt sat up, moving until he was sitting next to Wilbur. He had a sharp glint in his eye, reaching a shaking hand towards the happily squealing baby. The baby immediately latched onto Schlatt’s hands, refusing to let go even when Schlatt tried to move back. Wilbur threw his best friend a confused look, but Schlatt was reaching for the blanket around the baby, gently pulling it back until the baby’s head was exposed. He watched, blinking in surprise. Little fox ears twitched on top of the baby’s head, flattening the moment a strong blast of wind came from out of nowhere. “... So… it’s a furry.”

“Schlatt!” He laughed along with Schlatt, both of them chuckling until they couldn’t breathe. Wilbur shook his head, a frown appearing on his face. “The baby… The baby’s one of them—”

“Who fucking cares, Wil? They clearly don’t care if they decided to give one of their children to a random human woman!” Schlatt wrinkled his nose, petting the baby behind the ears. The baby yipped, a smile appearing on their face. Wilbur frowned, biting his bottom lip while he continued to hold the baby. Maybe… maybe the baby was like them too. Maybe the baby was unwanted by whichever god had created them. He hesitated before poking the baby’s cheek. They gurgled, grabbing his hand along with Schlatt’s. His best friend chuckled, a shine appearing within Schlatt’s eyes. He knew that look. He’d seen it plenty of times, but never really directed at him. He wondered if that was what he looked like too, if he cared for the baby the same way that Schlatt cared for them. He hoped so. “They’re our responsibility now. We’re going to get out and give this kid a home. Hey, we can’t keep calling them the baby. Have any good names, Wil?”

“Um…” He glanced down at the baby, mulling over what to name them. He didn’t even know what name would actually fit them. Schlatt raised a brow at him, opening his mouth but Wilbur quickly shushed him. Schlatt was terrible when it came to names, like hell was Wilbur going to allow him to name the baby. He hummed, rocking the baby back and forth until their eyes began to droop. The baby let out a yawn, letting go of both their hands in favor of biting down on their own hand. He laughed, caressing their little cheek until the baby finally fell asleep. At least they didn’t cry a lot. The gods might not be pleased with such loud noises. “Maybe… Maybe, um…”

Through the fire, he saw an orange flower growing near the tree line.

Schlatt followed his gaze and groaned.

“Flora, then?”

“Whatever, Wil. Yes, the baby is now named Flora.”

Flora… their baby. Their little miracle from the gods.

---

A pained scream tore through his throat, his head throbbing while blood spilled down his face. He could hear Flora screaming from somewhere nearby, and Wilbur… gods. His hands gripped the top of his head, large bumps rising past his hair and continuing to grow and slip through his fingers. His backside felt like it was on fire, and he could feel his bones rearranging themselves all over his body. He gritted his teeth, enduring the pain of his choice. This was a blessing from the gods, it was what he’d asked for. Another scream tore through him, the bumps growing until he could see them curl near the sides of his head. His ears were the first to go, morphing into a different shape with white fluff growing on the skin. Then he felt something grow behind him, sending him into another fit of screaming and crying while he tried to claw at the ground.

After minutes - or perhaps it had been hours - of agony, the pain subsided, almost like nothing had changed at all. He took a shaky breath, looking down at his hands that were covered in dirt. He couldn’t feel the blood on his face anymore. He looked around, catching the glimpse of a river nearby. He stumbled towards it, mindful of the little footsteps that followed after him. He was surprised the kid hadn’t run off, she should have. She really should have. He tripped near the river bank, mud staining his already tattered suit. He forced himself to move towards the water. He had to see. He had to see what he’d done to himself. What he’d chosen to do to himself.

Bright golden ram eyes stared up at him from the river’s surface. He shuddered. They didn’t look like his eyes. He took in the way his ears had changed, they were longer now and had actual fur on them. On top of his head were two large ram horns. There were a lot of golden bands hanging from them, casting glints of sunlight on the ground around him. He didn’t need to check behind him to know that they’d even given him a ram tail to match the horns. He swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise up his throat. The longer he glared at the water, the more he noticed the subtle changes that were happening to him. His suit had begun repairing itself. Large holes in the cloth - that had been there ever since his first trial - started to patch themselves anew, almost like they were never there to begin with. Even the bloodstains - both old and new - started to fade away. He waited until the transformation was over, letting his newfound powers fix himself up.

He felt a hand settle on his shoulders. Flora stared up at him, fear dancing in her eyes while she clutched Wilbur’s beanie close to her chest. He felt a pang of regret at the sight. He’d have to live with his regret. He knew that. He shakily stood up, not missing the way Flora immediately backed away from him, her ears pressed to the top of her head. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Gods, he needed a fucking drink. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. Flora looked down, rocking back and forth before finding the courage to go near him again. There were tears in her eyes, and he knew that he needed to watch his next words carefully. Schlatt didn’t want to upset her. “D-dad? Is Papa Wil going to be okay? I… I can’t find him anywhere.”

“He left.” There was no hesitation in his voice, he’d accept it as the truth. Still, he cursed himself for not saying that more gently. Flora sniffled, a frown appearing on her face before she promptly burst into tears. He felt panic rush through him before he immediately crouched down to her level, trying his best to console her. She was throwing a fit, stomping her foot against the ground before letting out a shriek. He winced, darting his gaze past her and towards the tree that had spontaneously combusted. That was why he didn’t want to upset her. “It’s okay! Kid, it’s okay! You still have me. Wil… Wil’s just a dickhead who decided he was too good for either of us.”

“B-but… He was there with us! He was right there! He-he wouldn’t leave us! He wouldn’t!”

“I know… but he did.” He sighed, opening his arms before Flora threw herself at him, latching onto his suit before crying into his chest. He held her close to himself, letting her weep for a few minutes before standing up with the kid in his arms. He glanced up at their final trial, the wall of water slowly draining back into nothing. He swallowed down his guilt. He’d done what he had to. With Flora in his arms, he turned to leave. He wouldn’t think of what he’d done. He wouldn’t think of the look on Wilbur’s face the moment he realized what Schlatt was doing. He was only lucky that Flora didn’t understand what was happening, too busy hiding her face in Wilbur’s sweater to realize Schlatt’s betrayal. He shook his head. They had to go. He gave the area one last look before turning to leave. “We’ll be okay, kid. We’re finally getting out of this shithole. We’re free. We’re going to go somewhere else and spend the rest of our lives in fucking peace.”

He stumbled further into the treeline, letting the child weep while he searched for what the gods had promised him. He felt a shift in the air behind him, followed after by a powerful presence. Schlatt turned around, coming face to face with a woman. She gave him a kind smile, scales dotting her cheeks like little freckles while frills replaced where her ears should be. She had fiery red hair, and her clothes were clearly that of a god’s. Behind her was a rippling portal, giving him a small glimpse of the outside world. They were so close to freedom. They were almost free.

“How does it feel?” He ignored the question, holding Flora closer to himself in case the gods decided another sacrifice was in order. She chuckled at his action, shaking her head before walking gracefully towards him. She smelt of the sea. She paused in front of him, placing a gentle hand on top of Flora’s head. The child whined, burying her face further into Schlatt’s suit. “Shame. I do so love my little darling, but I think she loves you more. Be good to her, will you?”

“You don’t have to fucking tell me.” He batted the woman’s hand away, a dark look appearing in those golden eyes before they briefly morphed back into sereneness. She gave him a smile, sharp teeth lining her mouth while her frills flicked back and forth. Schlatt backed away immediately, much to her delight. She clapped her hands together before moving back towards the portal. He followed after, narrowing his eyes but he knew that it was over. He’d given up everything that he was, everything that he used to be, all for the sake of freedom. Flora whimpered in his arms, gazing up at him with such a heartbroken stare that he had to wonder if he had made the right choice. The woman gestured for him to step into the portal, but he couldn’t leave without forcing himself to look back at where he had lost himself and his best and only friend. The water was gone now, like it had never even been there at all. “I’ll be a better parent than you ever could be.”

“Careful, Mr. Schlatt.” Sally hissed, “Even gods have enemies.”

He took a deep breath. He needed to leave before he pushed his luck.

With Flora in his arms, he took his first step into freedom.

Wilbur would understand. He’d have done the same if he were in Schlatt’s shoes.

Yes. Wilbur would have understood. Wilbur would have forgiven him. He had to.

---

“Someone looks very dapper today.” He jumped, nearly smacking into the mirror in his haste to turn around. He glared at his dad, crossing his arms in front of his chest while the man chuckled by the doorway. His dad was supposed to be outside, talking with a customer. Fundy didn’t even hear him come in! He glanced down at his suit, frowning when he realized that his tie hadn’t been put on properly. He had wanted to surprise his dad by wearing the suit, wanted to show him that he was capable of being fancy like him. His dad smiled, gesturing for him to come closer. Fundy huffed, but walked over to his dad. “You’ll get used to it. It just takes a bit of practice.”

“But I want to do it perfectly now!”

He stomped his foot on the ground, forgetting that he wasn’t really supposed to do that. His dad flinched, but, luckily,  it was only the unlit candle that began to burn. His dad sighed, glancing down at him with a warning look. He whimpered, curling his tail around his waist. “Sorry, dad.”

“No problem, kid. You’ve been practicing, haven’t you?.” His dad patted him on the head, kneeling down to fix his tie. Fundy’s tail began to wag. His dad had noticed! He looked down, face scrunching up in concentration while he tried to memorize what his dad was doing. He got lost after a while. He pouted, but tried not to stomp his foot on the ground again. His dad didn’t like it when their wagon ended up in flames. After a few minutes, his dad stood up, placing his hands on Fundy’s shoulder. He had a proud look on his eyes, one that made Fundy smile with joy. “Would you look at that… Such a dapper young man. Very handsome like your old man.”

“No. I’m much more handsome.” He stuck out his tongue, darting away from his dad’s hold. He ran back to the mirror, glaring angrily once he realized that his dad’s way of fixing the tie was… perfect. His dad chuckled, sitting down on the table, reaching for a bottle of whiskey that had been left in the center. He wrinkled his nose, turning to open the wagon window so that the smell didn’t stick around the wagon. He didn’t like the smell all too much. It made him nauseous. His dad drank straight from the bottle, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his suit jacket. He sat down on the chair by the window, resting his head against the sill while he stared sadly at the village scene in front of them. “Dad, how long until we leave? I want to see other sights again.”

“We’re setting off to a new place tonight.” He could hear his dad shuffling behind him, settling into a kneel next to him. Fundy knew that his dad wasn’t really looking out the window, but instead was focusing his gaze on him. He kept his eyes on a group of children playing nearby, all of them giggling while they passed a ball amongst themselves. He felt a pang in his chest, but he didn’t know what it meant. His dad sighed, reaching out to pull the window close. He pouted, but didn’t bother to complain. He didn’t like other people anyway, all they were good for was the stuff that Fundy could get from them. The other people didn’t like him either. They were mean and they ran away from him even though all he ever did was say hi. He usually retaliated by burning all their belongings or by stealing coins from them. “This place we’re going to… It’s a good place. No one will ever run away from you there. You’ll have friends, a normal life…”

“I don’t see why I can’t have that here, or anywhere else we’ve been to before.” He sniffled, feeling tears collect in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away with his hands. His dad sighed, producing a handkerchief from one of his pockets before dabbing them over Fundy’s face. Fundy felt his tail curl around his waist again, his ears pressed to the top of his head. Maybe the pang in his chest was jealousy, he’s heard other people mention it before in passing. He looked up at his dad, biting the inside of his cheek. His dad would know what the word means. He would know why Fundy’s chest hurt the way it did. He thinks he’s felt it before… once. “Dad… What… What's jealousy? Is it what I feel every time I see other children? Is that what jealousy is?”

“Kid… Jealousy is, uh um… It’s what you feel when you want something you can’t have or it’s what you feel when you wish to be… someone else.” His dad winced, ears flicking up while his tail twitched. Fundy frowned at the answer. He didn’t think that was what he felt at all! Why would he want to be any of the other children outside? Maybe he wanted their ball? Yeah, that had to be it. He nodded his head, his eyes set in understanding, but his dad was looking at him with a sad look in his eyes. He didn’t know why his dad was upset. Fundy had figured out what he wanted. Now he just needed to get it. He turned to open the window, but his dad reached out to hold his hands in his own. He looked down, taking note of how big his hands were compared to his. “Fundy, no. I know you take up after your old man but no stealing today, kiddo. How about this? Why don’t we buy you a new toy before we leave, hm? Would you like that, kiddo?”

“I guess…” He leaned back on the chair, letting his dad ruffle his hair. His dad headed back towards the table, downing the last bit of whiskey before placing the bottle beside the overflowing trash can at the corner of the wagon. He looked down at the chair, his claws digging to the edge while he waited for his dad to sober up. He liked that his dad was always quick to sober up. He remembers how other people act when they drink, stumbling and saying mean words that usually led to their hands combusting. Fundy didn’t like those people. They were rude. His dad made his way back to him, making him forget about all those horrible, horrible people. He stood up from the chair, giving his dad a smile. “Can we buy something cool?”

“Of course, kiddo.” He watched while his dad turned to the mirror, adjusting his suit jacket and tie. His dad stared for a moment before nodding, like he was assuring himself that he looked good enough. He looked up at his dad’s horns, always in awe of how the golden bands that hung from them never fell off. His dad’s golden eyes caught his stare in the mirror, a little smirk appearing on his dad’s face. Fundy waited, pouting once he realized what his dad was going to do. His dad kneeled down in front of him, a hand reaching behind his ear. He whined when his dad pulled out a golden coin - or, well, a Schlattcoin, twirling it in between his fingers. The coin appeared and disappeared, like one of those street tricks that fake magicians would do so people would give them more money. He liked his dad’s tricks - cause they were real and not fake! - but he didn’t want to see one right now. “Hey… you used to like this trick. What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“Dad…”

He watched while his dad multiplied the amount of coins in his hand.

“Dad… what are we?”

His dad sighed.

“We’re people, kiddo. We’re people.”

---

He stumbled deeper into the forest, his legs carrying him while his head was filled with that beautiful melody. It sang to him and him alone, whispering honeyed words into his ear and lulling him into open arms that would hold him close and never let go. He stumbled against tree roots, low hanging branches smacking into his face. He paid them no mind. He needed to go.

He walked and walked until he found himself inside a clearing. There was a hill in front of him, a wooden door standing out against the stone. He stumbled, falling to his knees while the song continued to circle around his mind. He could feel himself try to follow after the tune, but all that came out were whimpers. He could do nothing but stare while the door slowly creaked open, a tall lanky figure appearing in the threshold. He blinked, sleep whispering in the back of his mind. He couldn’t move, but it was alright, the figure was moving towards him. The song was getting closer now, wrapping him in a warm and fuzzy embrace, or maybe that was just the figure pulling him up into their arms. A part of him wanted to whine, to unsheathe his claws and draw blood. A part of him wanted to scream and burn the figure to a crisp. But how could he bring harm to such a lovely symphony? The figure cradled him in their arms, singing him to peace.

He curled closer to the figure, purring when a hand began to pet his ears. He hugged his tail close to himself, content to fall asleep in the strange figure’s arms. He could feel the wind against his cheek, the moonlight disappearing the moment the figure headed back into the darkness of their home. He shivered, eyes taking in the shadows. The song didn’t sound so sweet anymore.

He jumped when light suddenly flooded into the small cramped room. The man had lit a match with his free hand, lighting up the lone lantern that had been placed inside a small alcove that had been carved into the wall. He shuddered, the spell breaking and his eyes opening to the horrors of the night. The man - he knew this man - smiled down at him sweetly, but he had a crazed look in his eye that made him whimper. The man wore a coat over his shoulders, the smell of something bitter and heavy hanging in the air. He found himself not liking this new smell, preferring his dad’s whiskey over this scent. What caught his attention the most were the wings that protruded from the man’s back. They were brown at the top but turned red at the bottom.

The wings reminded him of a nightingale’s. He’s seen a few of them before, when his dad had taken their wagon through a thicketed woodland. He found them to be adorable. He gazed much longer at the man’s wings, keeping his hands to himself even though he wanted to feel if the feathers were soft. The man chuckled, breaking him out of his thoughts. He turned his gaze to the man’s eyes, nearly shrieking when he looked into them. They were dark like the night sky, but empty like the void. The man tried to shush him, rocking him back and forth his arms, but he wouldn’t have it. He tried to wiggle his way out of the man’s arms, wanting to go back to his dad and to his warm bed. The man shushed him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before he began to sing again. He screamed, but it was too late. The song had begun again and it was pulling him back into a sense of calm. He sniffled, letting the man guide him back to lean against his chest.

He tried to keep himself from slipping, but he knew sleep was coming for him.

Before he was pulled under, he managed to get out one question.

“What… What are you?”

The man smiled.

“We’re gods, son. We’re gods.”

In another world, a god sits on top of her throne, smiling to herself.

She knew a child was exactly what those two needed.

She saw potential in them, and why waste such potential?

She smiled.

Two gods were made that day. One freed from his shackles, and the other born with hate.

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Clarification: This is essentially just a god AU except new gods are either born from the olden gods or people are turned into gods. Schlatt and Wilbur were chosen by the gods and had to go through a series of trials (aka: Rising Lava, Rising Water, and Raining TNT challenges). I'm pretty sure the Raining TNT challenge was the last one in the series, but I wanted to do the rising water one because it was so dramatic as hell (and because Wilbur dies in the end of that one lmao).

Anyway, yeah. Sally made Fundy because she wanted to give Wilbur and Schlatt an actual motivation to become gods (Schlatt choosing to be a god so he can leave with Fundy to get a better life, and Wilbur choosing to be a god so he can get his child back and screw over Schlatt for betraying him).

Also, in case people are interested (yes, I know the animal symbolisms do not work but shush): Sally - Goddess of Water and Deceit (Fish Symbolism) Schlatt - God of Wealth and Greed (Ram Symbolism) Wilbur - God of Music and Vengeance (Nightingale Symbolism) Fundy - God of Fire and Trickery (Fox Symbolism)

[randomtwinkinthetomb]

Ranking the dmbj adaptations i have seen so far.

6. Heavenly Palace on the Clouds

 I watched this one soon after it come out, when it come out I was still in the middle of watching the mystic nine. this one was boring at the best of times and outright frustrating most of it. Not sure if its was bad writing or the actors are to blame for everyone behaving out of character (biggest offender is Wu Xie. i get the Wu Xie in the book is a bit more agro and less baby than they portray him in the shows but even book Wu Xie wouldn't act the way Wu Xie does in this show. dont even get me started on  Xie Yuchen) it is not the writing and acting its also little things. like the lighting for fire is way to red. tbh the way to red light for fire is the biggest tell for me that almost no one who made this one cared about making something good because its such on easy thing to fix. I will give credit were credit is due and I did like that the put Wu Xie in the same coat as the end of the lost tomb 2. pats on the back to the costume department. I guess I can also say I enjoyed seeing Xiao Ge a little more than in the book version. I'm not sure if this is praise for the show or I was just so disported at the lack of Xiao Ge in the book after not having him at all in the last one.  

1/10 would give it a -10 but it it was made I guess it deserves some credit. 

5. the Lost Tomb 

I don't really have a problem with this one it is. this one is just way to short. I did like that pang Zi introduced himself that way even if I persally hate calling him “Fatty Wang” still i like it better than Wu Xie just deciding to call him fatty. i really liked the PingXie content we got like Xiao Ge saving him from mugging. what I have latter began to dislike is the extra made up characters. 

4/10 good start to the show points deducted for it being way to short 

4. Lost tomb 2:

I did really liked this one its only ranked to low because the rest are all to big of heavy hitters. I rally liked the addition of Xiao Ge and Pang Zi in the bronze tree arc. also oh my  the PingXie content is *chefs kiss*  the way Wu Xie and Xioao Ge have entire conversations with their eyes. something this Pang Zi definitely said is “ can you guys stop eye fucking for five minuets in trying to eat here!” now here is what I didn't like. The Pang Zi in this one is not fat not even a little chubby in the slightest he stocky but they still acted as if he was witch got annoying. this is more of just a pet peeve of mine than anything else. the other thing is I didn't could have gone with out the 3rd tomb. I know this is wear we see Xie Yuchen in the field even with him and Hie Yanjing (who is one of my favorite characters) in the tomb it still felt unnecessary and really only left lingering questions that they had no intent on answering. not to mention it made Wu Xie’s third uncle out to be more of an antagonistic force than i think was necessary.  

8/10 it had its problems but was over all a fun 

3. Mystic Nine 

i know this one is on outlier it being a prequal and all. this one was so much fun and it was nice to get to know these characters we had herd about but have never meet. I loved everyone on team Fo Ye. My favorite character is Ba Ye. As someone who is also kind on a fortune teller (I use cards)  it was interesting seeing even if the method of telling the fortune is different the tricks you use are the same. I loved Zhang baby Rishan especially when he went “rogue” (he was kinda fallowing Fo Ye orders but did Fo Ye tell him to break into the camber of commerce and set it on fire, no he did not) I first meet Zhang Rishan in tomb of the sea and i viewed him as this bad ass character, but after watching this show i found out that he is in fact a himbo and man does everyone love a himbo. Er Ye is literally a prefect human being that 90% of the characters are completely in love with him. the only bad thing i have to say is the end is a little confusing but im 99% sure it was because of the censors. also some of the costuming is off. the costuming when they enter the tomb the second time almost all charaters are dressed way to modern. Ba Ye costume was a one of the worst offenders in my opinion. 

9/10 grate, super fun watch

2. Tomb of the Sea/ Sand Sea

ill abmit this was my introduction to this saga so it kinda set my standers for the rest of it. after re-watching it after I watched everything else its actually so sad. we dont get to see Wu Xie’s transition from a baby to the crime boss he is in this one but that doesn't bother me. I like an older more experienced Wu Xie trying to look over the next generation. the only bad thing i can say about it is i missed Xiao Ge so much watching this one, but i feel you feel how his absence has changed Wu Xie, for the worse or the better I don't know.     

9.1/10 I found I would rank this one equal to the mystic nine. the fact that there is a tiny bit of Xiao Ge and Hie Yanjing give it a little bit of a boost. 

1. Ultimate Note

could it have been any other one. this one actually fully committed to the early 2000′s setting for the story even if I kept forgetting until I saw a flip phone or Wang Meng playing mind sweeper on the windows 95 computers. the writing is just the right balance of seriousness, humor and at times horror. I loved that this is the only one that teats Xiao Ge like a actual human. I am reminded of this quote for the lost tomb 2 episode from Pang Zi. “ someone like Xiao Ge he is as old as Wu Sanxing but he looks younger than both of us. he is skilled and invincible like god. it is impossible for him to die in a mere tomb.” I feel this quote perfectly encapsulates how Xiao Ge is treated in all the other shows. not in this one he gets hurt, he almost dies and has to be saved by Wu Xie. I feel the bond of the iron triangle is at it peek. I feel some of the others have kinda treated the relationship between Xiao Ge and Pang Zi as a coincidental friendship. they both like to help Wu Xie so they get along for his benefit. I don't get that feeling in this one. 

11/10 this one got turned up to 11      

[bigteefsmallbrain]

MORE SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS

Someone called the first set cute and I am unbelievably determined to make their goddamn day/night now, also, just realized you could get around the talking barrier with your soulmate if you direct your speaking at yourself, though I imagine that would be quite hard without a lot of focus or practice, so I’m implementing that in this set, hope you enjoy!!

WARNING: For Midoriya Izuku - Mentions of past fish death; For Umino Iruka - Mentions of his parents passing; and For Erza Scarlet - Death, the Tenrou island incident, signs of depression and loss of a loved one [It turns happy though]

SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS FOR: Izuku Midoriya, Iruka Umino, Erza Scarlet

Izuku Midoriya

Welcome to your own personal hero encyclopedia

Literally your best friend when it comes to quizzes and homework

If you so much as mutter to yourself a question

He is mumbling to himself the answer and all the steps to solve it

Brain = Autopilot

He doesn’t even consider that you might have been rhetorical

Or that you might be taking a quiz

Soulmate asked a question and he’d rather die than not mutter the answer to himself under his breath so his soulmate can hear

He’s your worst enemy sometimes too though

Trying to sleep? Nah, listen to him fanboy over a hero documentary instead

Trying to have a little you time? Funny joke, you’re learning about All Might now

You now know the weirdest facts about heroes

And events that most teachers don’t know about

May I suggest a heroics history teaching job?

Unfortunately, you also have to listen to his crying

I don’t mean it in a bad way

But you have no way to comfort him

Literally all you want to do is give him a hug and comfort him

But all you can do is say comforting words to yourself

Hoping he’ll hear them over his broken, heart wrenching sobs

But don’t worry, he does, he hears everything you say to yourself

He has a notebook dedicated to you and o n l y you

He nearly ripped Bakugo’s head off when the blonde accidentally burnt it’s pages when they were younger

Yeah, fun times [Bakugo double checked that it was the h e r o notebook and not the s o u l m a t e notebook when he burnt it in middle school, never again would he risk hearing his last name be spit venomously from the green haired males mouth]

He writes down anything he deems memorable [AKA nearly everything] that you say

He notes things you have difficulty towards academically and makes sure to break it down and read the now less complex version aloud in hopes he’s helped you

He has, he’s probably the main reason you’re in the top 5 academically

But also he loves hearing your meaningless rambles

You have scared him a few times

“Wait, is he dead? Oh no! Please don’t tell me he’s dead!”

w h a t

“I don’t think I can handle mom crying over another fish.”

Oh, just a fish, thank All Might, he nearly went into cardiac arrest

They brighten his day, and he can’t wait to meet you and tell you just how thankful he is that you’re his soulmate

Just like you can’t wait to hit him upside the head for all the sleepless nights he’s caused with his fanboy behavior

Okay, but when you do meet, you immediately ask for Bakugo

You give zero fucks about possibly being expelled/sent to prison

Hell hath no fury like you who had to listen to their soulmates broken cries over the blondes treatment for years

And Izuku can only hold you back for so long

He definitely wants to see your quirk in action when you meet

And when demonstrating he’s mumbling all the uses and possible ideas

While also complimenting you and how amazing you are

He doesn’t even notice he’s doing it

If you do it back, he WILL blue screen

Midoriya Izuku.exe has stopped working

He literally freezes on the spot

Iruka Umino

Oh do we love our dear teacher

Maybe a little too much

But we don’t talk about that

IRUKA IS THE TYPE TO MUTTER A SWEET SOFT “Good morning my soulmate” TO HIMSELF EVERY DAY AS HE WAKES UP SO YOU CAN HEAR IT AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

He will also say other things, like “I made pancakes for breakfast, I wish you were here to enjoy them”

And call you sweet pet names like “Dear” “Darling” “Honey” etc. and when he’s feeling especially corny “Snookums” or something really out there when he feels like you need a good laugh like “Cookie Cutter”

No, I'm serious, if he thinks you’re sad, he w i l l say “Hey there, how’s my little cookie cutter?” to himself in a half joking tone in hopes of brightening your day

You can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands

He loves it if you mutter responses to yourself for him to hear in return

His heart will melt the moment he hears you say “Good morning” back, or if you mention wanting to cook for him

He also loves it if you give lesson plan advice to him

Like, he’ll be muttering about the best way to teach his class how to throw shuriken and your voice will pop up in his head with friendly advice

Makes him wonder if you’re a teacher too, or if you’re planning to become one

Secretly hopes you’re planning to become a teaching aid, because A) Work and soulmate at the same time? Yes please, and B) Kami knows he needs help with his rowdy class

If you are, he’s sure to be over the moon when he finds out

In his younger days, before teaching, he definitely went on missions and looked for you when he could

Like, yes, the mission is important, but finding the owner to the beautiful voice in his head is ALSO important

He’d usually finish the mission and stay an extra one or two days looking for you

It didn’t really cross his mind till later that you could be in the Leaf Village, since he figured he would have already found you if he did

Till he saw people older than him who grew up in the village only just finding out they were soulmates

He went on less out of village missions after that

Till eventually he decided to become a teacher

When I tell you this man melts when you talk

I mean he MELTS

He loves your voice so much

It helped him through his parents deaths

Helped him when he felt at his lowest points

You’ve done so much for him, and he’s so thankful, he’s fallen so deeply in love with you and you haven’t properly met yet!

He still wants to marry you on the spot though

It’s not a strange sight to see him browsing rings

Or thinking of how he’d propose

You’ll never let him know that he’s unconsciously spoken out loud about it a few times

Not until you meet, then you’ll mention it

And never let him live it down

“You know, I’ve heard you say you wanted to marry me on the spot, is that still on the menu or…?”

Yeah, when you first meet each other, that’s the first thing that pops out of your mouth

And it has his face burning red

He’s stumbling through his words, trying to convey that yes, he would like to marry you, but he needs your ring size first to go buy the ring

Trust me, this man has made enough trips to know what ring, he just needs the size

Then he’ll be down on one knee quicker that Shisui’s Shunshin no Jutsu

The fact that you seem okay with it also seals the deal for him

He’s so ecstatic when you meet each other

He feels like he could take on Madara one v one and win

He’s so unbelievably happy

Like he’s convincing you to take a photo so he can frame it on his desk and always remember happy

He’s so cute and blushy about it too

Rambles about never wanting to forget the best day of his life so far

“So far?” “Well, yeah, I imagine marrying you will take the spot soon”

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS BOY WILL MAKE YOUR HEART SWOON!!!

He’s so giddy about introducing you to his class too

Especially Naruto

[Mostly Naruto]

He’s showing you off and preening at the congratulations his class gives

And later on introducing you to Naruto personally

As much as he loves his class, he adores Naruto, and really hopes you both get along well

And you do

And it was the worst mistake of Iruka's life

[or best as both you and Naruto often correct him]

Honestly you probably convinced him to at least bring up the possibility of Adoption to Naruto

Which has Naruto howling in excitement and agreeableness

The boy looks up to him and they both have such a father/son dynamic, let me have this dammit

[Also, being able to get Naruto to be the ring bearer/flower boy? P r i c e l e s s]

He loves his family, so very much

And is so thankful that you convinced him to adopt Naruto

The man has been debating on if Naruto would want to be his son or not for ages, you can NOT tell me otherwise

You also can’t tell me Naruto wouldn’t jump at the chance to have Iruka as his father

Erza Scarlet

She’s so eager to find you

She’s spent so long perfecting the art of speaking to you despite the barrier

And she’s always so responsive to you

Always talking about the adventures she's had

What she wants to do with you when you find each other

And she’s always so happy when you do the same

She’s always been responsive with you, even though the beginning was a bit rough with communication

So when she suddenly goes radio silent, it scares you, it hurts when you come to the realization that she’s dead

She can hear you, even in her deep sleep on Tenrou Island

And it’s heartbreaking

Your cries

The endless broken sobs

“I’m so sorry I never got to meet you” No, I’m still here!

“Hey soulmate wha- oh, right, you’re..” I’m not dead! I promise I’ll be there soon!

To say the least, it’s a long 7 years

And you never did get over your soulmates tragic death

Though you did find out who she might have been

Hurts more knowing how she passed on though

She always spoke of her guild, Fairy Tail, and you had been saving up enough jewels to go there, in hopes of finding her

You know she must have been on Tenrou when it fell

And by deductive evidence, it must have been the S class wizard

Erza Scarlet, you’re soulmate

Dead, soulmate

You joined not long after the news had spread

Figured it might help with the ache

It didn’t

But you grew to love the guild anyways

They welcomed you as family

Because to them, you already were

Erza spoke so highly of you

Always talking about how amazing her soulmate was, and everything she wanted to do with them when they met

And it was because of that you were able to deduce that she is your soulmate

Was, your soulmate

It wasn’t an odd sight to see you crying when the Tenrou group was brought up

Or after a particular rough beating from the Twilight Ogre guild

They watched you slowly fall apart when you tried speaking to her

Helped put you back together when you remembered she wasn’t on the other side

And eventually you began healing

Never getting over her or forgetting her

You could never forget her

And broke down just thinking about trying to find another

You took to talking to her in hopes she could still hear you in the afterlife

Talk about your day

How the guild is doing

If there was a particularly rough beating from the other guild

It hurt, much worse than when you forgot that she wasn’t there

But you carried on, believing that if she could hear you, she’d want to know

She adores that about you, your will to carry on, even though it hurts

And she’s sure to leave nothing but corpses in Twilight Ogre for all the years of torment

When Blue Pegasus found remains of the Island, no one stopped you from boarding the ship

They knew you needed this, more than the rest of them

You needed to know if she was really gone or not

And when you caught sight of scarlet red hair

You wept

She’s here

She’s alive

She turned the moment she heard your voice weekly call for her

To say your first meeting was filled with tears would be an understatement

You were attached by the hip from that point on

Not that either of you were complaining

Erza was especially ecstatic to have you by her side finally

After all, she had 7 years to make up for

And you can show her where Twilight Ogre is

The Master and Mira didn’t question why she was especially rough with a select few members

I Hope you enjoyed reading this set of Soulmate AU HC’s! If you would like to see any specific characters, don’t be afraid to leave a comment or submit an ask! If it’s a character I’m not familiar with, I’ll do my best to learn about them!!

P.S. I nearly killed Reader-chan off in Erza’s (: