#it turns out it is very much like Yellowjackets in that way which. is not a comparison i'd ever have thought to draw but it really works

[novelconcepts]

Between Yellowjackets and Animoprhs you’ve been spending a lot of quality time with traumatized morally ambiguous 90s kids, huh? I’ve gotta give that series a read!

Morally ambiguous 90s trauma is my bag! Apparently. I do not know what this says about me, and I will not be looking closer.

For real, though, the 90s is such an interesting time to design these situations around cuz like. You have to work so much harder at communication, you can't just lean easily on phones or even the internet being what it is today, there was more of a sense of like...wilderness just to BEING a teenager out and about dealing with crisis. I think my youthful obsession with Buffy falls in a very similar vein. Just like. What if you were young, and horrible things were happening, and you've got the early vestiges of technology, but not in a way that can actually save you? (I also, y'know, am a 90s kid, so that's probably some of it.)

[idesofrevolution]

Party Animal

Danny smiled his signature perfect smile, posing stereotypically as the phone sat propped up on a sidewalk trashcan with a timed camera counting down. While it was his 21st birthday, and he'd invited nearly twenty people to come out clubbing with him in New York City, he wasn't entirely shocked when everyone had some lame excuse as to why they couldn't come. Victoria was in the middle of watching Yellowjackets and couldn't be bothered to get up off her couch. Taylor was stuck at the airport in Nashville, unable to board his connecting flight due to "inclement weather." Felicity couldn't find a dog sitter for the night (bullshit), and Kyle just didn't even respond to the text. This was relatively par for the course for poor Danny, who'd gotten all but used to the feeling of his "friends" ditching him when it was plans of his own.

There were absolutely reasons in their mind as to why going out with Danny was less than an ideal evening: he was a wallflower. Sure, like everyone else in his small town, he had a fake ID. So one would assume that his relative experience in bars would at least teach him something about how to have a good time in one. Unfortunately, this was certainly not the case. Danny was the friend who would get to the bar, order two Long Islands and drunkenly cry for the rest of the night. He couldn't hold his liquor, he couldn't hit a joint without having a fifteen minute coughing spell, his moves on the dancefloor were generously described as "cringe," he would leave early and complain about it the next day. Yet, without fail, the next weekend would roll about and he would be the first one in line at open. His messy party ways had completely eradicated any chance of an entourage going with him, even on his birthday. Thus, as he posed rather stereotypically on the side of West 17th Street, alone and underdressed for his first gay nightclub of legal age, there was a level of disappointment.

Chelsea was bustling that evening, with stunning people in outrageously skimpy outfits strutting from building to building. All were in their little cliques huddles together until they made it to the doorman, where they'd quickly disperse into the drunken crowd within. Guys like him were the ones standing in line, waiting for someone to leave so they could have a chance of getting in; wallflowers, all of them. Thus, as he finally arrived at the club he'd heard so much about on every gay travel blog imaginable, he wasn't shocked to receive a quick look up and down from the bouncer and a head shaking no. Dejected, alone, and not even buzzed, Danny pulled out his phone to call the Uber back to his hotel. That is, until he felt a subtle tap on his shoulder. He sighed and turned around, locking eyes with an unexpected but very welcome sight.

He was tall, maybe 6'4 in a cutoff white tank top, a golden chain hanging from just beneath his nipples. His abs sat like the cobblestones on the street against his chiseled torso, flanked on either side by two huge, vascular arms. His fly was undone, with his thumbs suggestively holding it open. He had a gentle, yet sultry face: perfectly manicured facial hair and sweaty, wavy curls atop his head. He smiled as he leaned against the wall, illuminated brightly by the streetlight above them both.

"Baby you're not gettin' in looking like that." He had a thick accent, perhaps Cuban or Dominican, but it rolled off his supple lips like the drool which had begun to slightly dribble down Danny's jaw. The man smiled and ruffled his hair, getting ready to walk back into the club.

"Hey! Uh... I really like your outfit. You wear it really... really well." The stud turned back, a small chuckle under his breath.

"Thank you baby! I wasn't sure about the chain, but it draws attention to all the right places, am I right?" He ran his large hands over his abs, winking at the salivating 21 year old. "I'm Mateo, by the way." The two shook hands, Danny barely able to contain himself.

"So, you come out to these clubs often? It's my first time in the city. My twenty first birthday, actually." Mateo's face lit up. Tossing his arm around Danny's shoulder, he leaned in close to hopefully be heard above the hustle and bustle of the chattering crowd outside. Danny blushed. He could feel the heat from Mateo's pit on the nape of his neck, the smell of wet armpit after a night of dancing tickling the hairs in his nostrils.

"Where's your party? You better not be out here alone on a Saturday night!" Danny looked down, trying to hide the thirst which had overtaken him.

"Ahh, they all cancelled. It's just me tonight." Danny felt an immediate yank, as Mateo squeezed him tightly against his pillowy pecs.

"Nahh. It's just you and ME tonight. C'mon." Mateo began guiding Danny down the street, chatting about the nightlife in New York City, how it's better than anywhere else, how it has the hottest guys and the best vibes. Mateo had been a staple of the ballroom scene for a couple years at that point, and was well acquainted with the bars and their owners. Any place of any note, he'd be able to waltz right in. Though in this instance, he decided to do something special for this little guy who he'd found meandering the streets. "It's definitely an in-the-know kinda place, if you know what I mean. And you're not getting in wearing that, so I guess we're just going to have to get you a birthday present." The two strolled up to a relatively inconspicuous apartment building, Mateo flashing his card to open the heavy metal door. Two flights up and ten doors down the hall, Mateo opened the door to his apartment. It was tidy for the most part. Plants sat on every imaginable surface, even hanging in macrame slings from the popcorn ceiling. Mateo flipped the lights on in his bedroom and opened his closet door.

"Uhhh, what are you looking for?" Danny nervously shuffled from side to side. This wasn't going to be one of those makeover scenes a la Clueless, was it? Mateo flashed several articles of clothing in front of his face, each vastly different from the one before: leather pants, a silk button up, a ripped up tank top, a latex polo... Under his breath, Danny could hear the quiet mutterings Mateo whispered after each one. Too young, too bulky, too preppy, too kinky.

"Hey. Like what's the vibe you're going for? If some hot guy walked up to you and was looking you up and down, what would you want him to see in a perfect world?" Danny sat there a moment, pondering. He wasn't entirely sure. He'd never thought about it. Closing his eyes, he tried to go back to his days of fantasizing about what a perfect Danny would look like. What he'd always wanted to look like. Though, for him, those days were far behind him. The years of being ditched and cast aside, while he understood why, had taken a toll on him. He'd only ever seen himself as that annoying friend who ruins the mood. Danny shuffled his feet beneath him, hanging his head.

"I don't know... just not... this." He motioned up and down, alluding to the rather sad appearance he'd taken on. Mateo stopped what he was doing, chucking a pair of sunglasses at the frowning young man, hitting him square on the nose.

"You stop that. This is not a pity party, it's a birthday party." Danny nodded, picking up the sunglasses from his feet: Balenciaga. "You know what you need? You need a confidence boost." Mateo pinched his chin, analyzing his closet. "And I have just the thing." It was like a frenzy. Within seconds, clothes were being tossed at him. Looking down at them, he anxiously investigated them. A long, almost see through tank top, a well worn sleeveless leather jacket, and a pair of wide, baggy pants- all of which about two sizes too big.

"Uh, hey, I really appreciate it but I don't think I'm gonna fi..." Mateo had plopped a heavy pair of beat up combat boots on top of the pile in his hands, nearly spilling the whole outfit out of Danny's arms.

"Shut up and go put this on, I promise you'll look great." Sighing, he started headed toward the bathroom, only for Mateo to stop him. "Here, just..." Mateo grabbed the wrists of Danny's shirt, pulling the gaudy top off his frail body. Snatching the tank top from the pile, he ripped it off the hanger and slipped it over his arms and head. The shit was undoubtedly massive on him. Danny was after all 5'4 and 100 lbs soaking wet, the tall hunk which stood before him would obviously be wearing way larger clothes than him. "Arms back!" Mateo slid the sleeveless leather jacket onto him. Danny could smell that this item was well loved, catching a subtle hint of weed, cigarettes, and sweat gently wafting from it. "Pants off!" He directed, Danny followed. Pulling his skinny black jeans down to his ankles, and taking off his brown loafers. He stood before Mateo in his whitey-tidies, and an unimpressive flat bulge. "Yeah, take 'em off and burn them. Besides, easier access for the lucky guy later tonight." He winked, causing Danny to blush. Any time his gal-pals had tried to do a makeover it always ended in a trip to Hollister or Abercrombie to look like every straight high schooler in 2013. He'd never had a guy, let alone a gay guy take the time to dress him. His guard finally down, he dropped them, quickly snatching the lightweight pants and pulling them up his legs, tightly pulling the drawstrings to keep them up.

Mateo looked him up and down, clearly thinking about what was missing as Danny slid his feet into the massive boots, feeling the squish of gogo boy sweat bubbling up onto his soles. Mateo snapped his fingers, grabbing the sunglasses and sliding them onto his face. Danny couldn't deny feeling cool in these ill-fitting clothes, whether or not he felt hot in them or not- if this sexy club kid thought he looked good he probably did.

"Awesome, here, take this bag. Happy Birthday, we gotta go!" Danny didn't even get a chance to peer into the mirror before a large leather bag was tossed at him and he was pushed out the door. He tripped over the baggy pants dragging on the ground, and the clunky boots which slid around on his now damp feet. "You look great," Mateo said as they hopped down the stairs. "I got just the place to take you."

The two walked for perhaps only a block or two before they turned into a dark alley, only a single red lamp far down the brick walled canyon illuminating the surroundings. They strutted up to the rusted metal door, Mateo knocking only three times before it swung open. The huge bouncer blocked the door with his arms crossed, though the moment he saw Mateo, he silently stepped aside. Thrust inside from behind, Danny entered the club.

From then on, the night was a blur. The few moments of clarity and recollection told quite the story. The club was packed, sexy guys dancing on eachother, gogo boys on the bar, discarded ecstasy pills littering the floor brightly glowing from the blacklights. A DJ played derivative beats as they approached the bar. The last clear decision that was made was to take a round of shots.

"Zayn! Could you get us two blowjobs?" Danny turned quickly, shocked at the prospect. He was slightly less anxious when the two cream topped shots were placed in front of them. After a quick birthday toast, the two downed their shots. Immediately, Danny felt an instant release. The nervousness had subsided, and he felt ready to enjoy the evening. He couldn't help but notice, before Mateo had ordered round two, that the sexy bartender seemed to smirk with every shot, heading to the back room for a moment only to come back with two perfect drinks. Round 2 felt just as good as the first, feeling himself smile and sway to the music. It was followed up by round 3, then round 4, then round 5... The shots just kept coming, and by round 7, the world was spinning.

From what little could be recalled, he hit the dance floor with Mateo, showing off the notorious dance moves which had caused him so much grief back home. Though, as the night progressed, he felt the music in a patently distinctive way. Every beat, every note hit differently. His body seemed to just move on its own, his hips swaying, his hands slowly wandering around Mateo's firm waist. The unfittedness of the clothes seemed to dissipate, and they began to feel... right. He liked the way that they showed off his broadening shoulders, his widening biceps... As he dropped, effortlessly pulling off spins and dips, his strong, muscular legs kept him firm in his stance, rooted in the perfectly fitted boots.

He could remember Mateo running his hands over the light tattoos sprawled on his pulsating forearms. He'd even done a few of them himself in his boredom during a relatively crazy shroom trip a few years back. In fact, as the two of them stood there in eachother's arms, looking eye to eye and towering over the dancefloor, he was so grateful that his bestie Mateo would give him such a night out on his birthday. Though, it seemed every year got more and more wild. The two didn't waste any more time. This was going to be a wild birthday, as Mateo planted a deep kiss onto his lips. Their sweaty, muscled arms wrapped around eachother, passionately making out on the dancefloor, before Danny reached into his bag, pulling out the magnum ribbed condom he'd gotten earlier that day, hoping the two would arrive at that point sometime during the night.

Mateo smiled and nodded, the two heading outside to wait for the Uber to take them back to the apartment. As Mateo eagerly tapped away on his phone, Danny leaned against the street pole, thrusting his sizeable package toward his boyfriend.

The next morning, Mateo woke up to an empty bed. Sweaty sheets tossed from one side of the room to the other, the stench of kinky sex still wafting in the air. He rolled out of the stained bed, walking past Danny's still warm, musky combat boots splayed on the hardwood floor. After a night of being railed with his face buried in it's ripe opening, he couldn't help but take a quick whiff down memory lane before going down to the front door. There, perched on the step, in all his blonde, shirtless glory sat Danny smoking his American Spirits.

"Good morning, sexy bitch." His velvety voice soared like the wind to Mateo's eager ear, something about that cocky, confident swagger behind his words always hit just right. He plopped down next to his boyfriend, sensually nibbling on his pierced ear. "Gonna get the neighbors all hot and bothered." Danny chided, Mateo knowing full well he loved being seen in even more compromising positions by anyone who stumbled across them.

"That's the idea." The two laughed and kissed, hoping old Mrs. Prallatt across the street was huffing and puffing in an indignant rage. "Hey the house is performing later tonight in the Bowery, I think you should show off the new number. Kick the LaBeija's ass off the floor." Smirking, Danny took a long drag and let out a large cloud of smoke before turning to Mateo.

"They don't stand a chance." Mateo stood up, kissing Danny's smooth hand before getting ready to head back up to get dressed for the day. "Hey, babe." Mateo turned and looked down at the beautiful creature which had been the wildest ride he'd ever taken. "How about you take those sweats off and I show you a couple more moves before we head out?" A strong grope of Mateo's growing bulge and a wink from behind his Balenciaga shades was all that his man needed to see.

[brw]

1, 9 and 10 for your ask game please!

1) the character everyone gets wrong

I'd go with Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne, and I know that's cheating because that's two, but in my defence, the ways in which people get them wrong independently absolutely inform the ways they get the other wrong to.

Janet is a lot more proactive in her relationship with Hank than people give her credit for, and was a much bigger reason of why their relationship failed than people also give her credit for. There's a push to rewrite history and make her a very flat victim, and I can see why, but it's frustrating because I think it's a lot more interesting that Janet repeatedly and purposefully ignored multiple warning signs that Hank's health was imperiled simply because she held on to a belief that love could overcome anything, including a man's undiagnosed and unmedicated schizophrenia. It is JANET who makes the decision to marry. She is essentially the one who proposed, after Hank–hallucinating as Yellowjacket and genuinely thinks he is his own murderer–kidnaps her, then briefly becomes lucid and backs off.

Genuinely, right. Genuinely. I don't think the Hank we see here, violently hallucinating, thinking he murdered himself and having a totally different persona and attitude, was in a position to give meaningful consent! I think it's very clear this is a man a danger to himself and to other people, who was not in the right frame of mind to agree to marriage, but people prefer to write Janet as a very basic victim, which I think is a massive disservice to the actually really nuanced way her relationship with Hank was sometimes written, where Hank was clearly unwell and Janet knew it but thought it was an issue that could be fixed with holiday's and sex and Avenging and not a more fundamental psychological one, and that's a far more interesting story to me.

9) worst part of canon

Lotta things I can put here. I think at the moment I am most frustrated by "Krakoa had no people on it before mutants fine, therefore it isn't an ethnostate and it's totally cool and awesome", because the lie of "there were no people here before us!" has been used time and time again throughout history to justify genocide, oppression, violence and colonialism, and I do not think it is the place of the white Americans in charge of writing Krakoa to essentially legitimise those lies because they didn't want to write Magneto or Nightcrawler or Wolverine and company to be out and out colonisers. If you are writing this kind of project, I think you should have the dignity to commit to it.

10) worst part of fanon

in no particular order

Dadneto, House of M dynasty as a whole

Charles is walking. More than anything else with Cherik this annoys me the most. Motherfucker I'll break his legs myself. Please at the very least let the disabled character be disabled.

The notion that Sue/Namor is real and happened

Logan Howlett girldad

Crystal doesn't exist in the Maximoff family conversation, related to that I once saw a haha fandom meme where Crystal was called an absent parent and that is so fundmantally untrue it felt like I was being trolled

Claremont's racism and zionism isn't real don't worry about it. Close your eyes and only mention it when it's something you can't pretend doesn't exist like Kitty Pryde saying the n word multiple times

Hank McCoy was Always Evil and Always Fated To Go Dark. That's just a regular man forced to hang out with his high school friends after three years of doing nothing but smoke weed with a gay 1950s theatre nerd. You would turn "evil" too.

That Reed Richards doesn't love his wife??? He invented comic guys being really intense about their wives. Leave him alone... that's the love of his life above all else??? Excuse me.

[shipmansflannels]

the alchemy | shauna shipman x reader

what if I told you I'm back? see what I did there? :) anyway, I'm back. this week I'll probably update for more days in a row (tonight, maybe tomorrow and sunday too), because tomorrow is a holiday here in brazil and, as I have more time to post than on regular days, I decided to reward you. better prepare, because this is my first oneshot with shauna and I really hope you like it (I put my best effort into it because shauna is my favorite character, so that's it, I hope it turned out good.) obviously the whole thing is a reference to "the alchemy" by taylor swift, so I also hope you managed to convey what I meant by interpreting the song. enjoy!

sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

------------------------------------------

the alchemy | shauna shipman x reader

-> prompt: you and the midfielder are secretly dating. <-

warnings: non cannon, no crash, most fem!reader but it works for gender neutral readers too, some swear words, jock!shauna, sub!reader, soft dom!shauna, jealous!shauna, very subtle smut (because I still don't know how to write one), secret relationship, platonic!jackie x reader.

***

Honestly, you could get used to it.

It wasn't like it was the worst thing in the world to not be able to admit that you and Shauna were properly together to your friends, even your closest ones. In fact, it was even exciting for you to be in a secret relationship. As an extremely private and intense person, you would hate someone noticing while you and your girlfriend were kissing in any corner and feeling entitled to have an opinion about it.

Honestly, it was much better this way. Just the two of you. And your parents. The only ones who knew you were getting to know each other better.

The whole thing started that same year, after the boring science fair proposed by the most boring teacher in the world, in which you had to stand in front of your booth with a failed attempt at a volcano that worked with detergent and bicarbonate. Shauna was at the booth next to you, also with an attempt at a ladybug that worked using a cell phone battery to get around, and she was kind enough to praise your botched project, unlike the other colleagues.

But you didn't really talk until days later. You started to notice her more, of course, more than before - because the idea that the Yellowjackets were extremely popular because of their victories over the other teams at school wasn't enough - but you didn't catch her attention until the day you were walking across the field to deliver a piece of homework to Coach Martinez and one of her kicks accidentally hit you in the face.

When you woke up, in the infirmary with a broken nose and horrible-tasting medicine, Shauna Shipman was next to you, in the worn yellow armchair next to the infirmary bed, and began pouring every apology possible in your direction, while your head was spinning and you were still groggy, looking like you were asleep.

It was the worst night's sleep you had in your life. And honestly, after that, nights of sleep were rare for you, so it didn't matter.

The thing is, Shauna was unintentionally becoming popular, and she couldn't blow the opportunity by publicly dating someone who wasn't even overly well-known - even though the kick and the broken nose had made you pretty famous in the hallways for a few weeks -. Not only because of that, but also because of the gossip and intrusions, which always happened, and which was a little more serious than the growing popularity of your girlfriend.

***

"Excuse me, can I steal Shauna for a few minutes?"

The girls on the team were sitting in the stands, after an electrifying game that brought them closer and closer to entering nationals, and Shauna hadn't come to celebrate with you as usual. Usually, whenever the Yellowjackets won, she would come running into your arms in the stands, and then you would be making out in the locker room, hiding in the small bathroom stalls, trying to escape the concentration of girls in the place.

But this time, probably to keep up appearances and for the sake of euphoria, Shauna hadn't run to you, even though she knew you were there watching her and cheering for every pass. It wasn't taken personally, of course not, because you knew that Shauna and all the students were having chaotic exam weeks and their heads were full of more important things than relationships.

She smiled as soon as she saw you put an arm around her, and, faced with the incredibly provocative looks of the other girls, with expressions of someone who already knows everything, Shauna stood up, following you, her foot limping a little from the wear and tear of running so much around the field for ninety minutes.

You checked out less-observed places and found the closest tree, and then she pressed you against the trunk and, with her hands on your face, kissed you passionately, like she always did. The butterflies in your stomach were having a party, coming and going every time her cold lips touched yours.

"You were great, baby-"

You tried to speak, but she interrupted you by pressing the kiss further.

"Shut up, let me enjoy you for a little while, then you can talk to me all night, okay?", she whispered, kissing you again, before breaking the kiss after a few seconds, to breathe. You were trying to balance yourself and placed your hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you when the game ended, beautiful, my head was… a mess."

"It's okay, love. I'm proud of you for winning."

"The merit is not just mine, but I can live with it." She laughed, hugging you around your waist and resting her head on your shoulder. "So? What do you want for today? Movie night? Bar? Pizza?"

"It's your turn to choose…"

"Ah, right… I guess I have some great plans for us, then."

Her look was suggestive, and you pulled her a little closer just for the grace of kissing her again, amidst your smiles and laughter. This time, however, the kiss didn't last long. They were interrupted by Lottie calling for Shauna.

"See you on the way out, baby…", she murmured, before giving you one last peck and leaving, sweating, panting, leaving you with only the taste of mint, sweat and a silly smile, as you slid your body through the trunk, melted.

Honestly, just the two of you knowing what was going on there was the best thing you could have asked for. Because you were a good match, after all.

***

The topic of "Jeff's party" never became more talked about than weeks after the Yellowjackets won yet another title. You weren't that good friends with Jackie's boyfriend, and if you had to choose, you'd rather stay at home drinking and watching movies with Shauna, but there wasn't much choice. The Yellowjackets were a reserved seat in the venue, and there was no way to deny the invitation after so long.

Also because Shauna and Jackie were best friends, and you couldn't let your girlfriend make the mistake of hurting her best friend over a secret she could "never" tell her about. It wouldn't be that bad, despite the idea of ​​staying away from Shauna so as not to flag you up. It was an easy problem to solve.

The huge balcony of the Sadecki house. The luxurious bathrooms. The bathtub was big enough and the walls were even bigger to muffle the sounds of your laughter and kisses and moans. There would be no problem.

Except it was tempting to formulate an escape plan that actually worked.

And, of course, you couldn't escape the blandishments of Jackie Taylor, who, as Shauna's best friend, demanded to know why the two of you were always together, and why you were reluctant to come - and bringing the brunette along with this idea - and why you didn't know how to dance like her.

Well, you had never been close enough to Jackie to talk about interesting things with her, but now, at the full party and with the bunch of teenagers shouting over the loud music, it was easy to start a conversation. And it's not like she doesn't also have high marks in charisma to bring up the best topics and take you along with her.

But if you could stop to notice the looks on all the teenagers' faces dancing and drinking to Britney Spears, you'd be able to find Shauna's brown eyes fumming as she watched Jackie put her hand on your shoulders and make you sway to her rhythm.

It was as if you were harmless fucking prey living your ordinary life, and she was the hungry, desperate predator imagining imminent scenarios of how to hunt you down and take out all your flesh in one fell swoop.

Her eyes were covered by the red plastic cup that contained the liquid she needed to numb herself so she wouldn't see the rest of that humiliating scene and end up ruining Jeff's party, but things didn't get much better for you and Jackie because, at the very least, as you waited, the room started chanting "Hips Don't Lie", and you had to deal with the most intimidating scene of your entire life.

Jackie started holding onto you in the pre-chorus and, probably without meaning to, began to sway more deeply to the beat of the song, her arms around you, her lips firm on your ear near your neck, her cool breath making you shiver.

Shauna rolled her eyes, biting herself with jealousy and trying to control the urge to take Jackie away from you. Of course, half of all things were caused by drinking, but still, she was sure that you should pay for what it was doing to her.

Without thinking twice, Shauna simply stepped into the middle of the dance floor and wrapped her arms around you, taking Jackie out of the picture by taking you a little further away from her.

"What the fuck, Shauna?"

First name. Calling by nickname even with the sound turned up at the highest volume at a party full of people would not be helpful.

She glanced at you and took another sip, her brown eyes deep into you for a while.

"Shauna, what did I do wrong? We were just dancing!", you defended yourself, when you didn't get a response, and that didn't help either. The silence hovered and continued until it became torturous enough for you to want to leave, taking her by force, in a state that was a bit too worrying for both of you.

***

"I told you we could have stayed home, but you insisted on coming."

"And that doesn't mean I need to drag you everywhere I go, (Y\N)."

"We're going to fight, then, is that it?"

Taking your eyes off the road, crossing the street of her house - which you already knew by heart -, you faced Shauna, who snorted, crossed her arms and stared at the landscape in the passenger seat window, without responding. After seconds of silence and Johnny Cash's low voice filling the room, she whispered, whimpering.

"I'm sorry, baby, I don't know what came over me, it's just…", Shauna sighed, and whimpered again. "Damn, she was practically having sex with you in front of everyone, and I couldn't let my best friend take advantage of the person I'm dating like that!"

You sighed too, realizing that, despite her drunken state, Shauna still had a modicum of sanity to admit that every now and then she went overboard with excessive jealousy. Now, still, you could forgive her, and you did, sliding your free hand up her thigh, your eyes quickly turning to her face.

"I'm sorry, too, I should have watched myself more."

"Okay, anyway", the brunette whispered, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "Stop the car."

"What?"

"Do what I'm asking, (Y\N), stop the fucking car."

Her tone. You closed your eyes and felt your legs tremble as you swallowed down all your fear and tension.

Obligingly, you stopped the car on an empty road and, while the other cars and pedestrians did their best to ignore you, Shauna ripped off her seat belt and climbed into your seat, sitting between your legs with a mischievous smile. Her hands snaked around your neck and she pushed herself closer as she felt your hands trail down to her hips.

"Hm, I like that. Now… I'm going to show you how to bounce for someone for real."

Your eyes widened, surprised by Shauna's malicious response, but you didn't reprimand her, much less retort. And when she began to truly bounce on you, even in the awkward seat of the car, her breathing became labored the moment the first movement began. Your nails pressed into her thigh, and Shauna moaned in satisfaction, very softly, leaning down to kiss your neck and nibble a little, because she knew you loved it.

In fact, post-fight sex was a recurring thing between you.

Your nails went down a little, squeezing her ass as she kissed you, and then you repeated the same action, hearing even more of your girlfriend's satisfying moans. Thinking about how good it was to fuck her like this, without anyone knowing, without anyone noticing. It was the best feeling ever. You wouldn't trade it for anything.

And you knew that, deep down, neither did she.

Shauna soon left her fancy clothes thrown in the backseat, and you did the same. Shortly after, you jumped into the backseat and started doing what you regularly did, without shame, without fear. Your hands slid down to take off her bra, and she did the same thing to you with the intention of leaving you completely naked in front of her.

With kisses, nibbles, touches and silly hands, you enjoyed that night like no other, before leaving again and returning to your homes as if nothing had happened.

***

"Are you waiting for someone, baby?"

Shauna whispered, startling you, as you sat waiting for her in the locker room after another of the electrifying games in which the Yellowjackets had come out on top once again. It wasn't even new anymore now.

Her laugh felt good in your ear, but you didn't have time to appreciate what she could give you in return, because you were soon pushed into the bathroom stall again, and Shauna resumed the trail of kisses she was trying yesterday along your face and body, trying to remain as silent as possible so as not to alarm any of the girls.

You responded, but it was impossible to hold back, especially when she lowered her kisses to your neck and made you want to scream by holding back your moan. Shauna was loving it, on the other hand, and just kept pushing more and more, for the grace of being able to play with you and your sanity without fear of what would come.

Or at least, who would come…

"Shauna, would you have a tampon- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

Jackie shouted, making you pull away from your girlfriend instantly, eyes rolling back and a sigh of almost relief escaping your lips. Shauna laughed mockingly and scratched her forehead, shaking her head.

"Can one of you explain this to me?", Jackie demanded and, instinctively, you noticed that the other girls were also with their little heads stretched towards the bathroom stall, trying to see something.

Shauna rushed in, pushing you out of the way and going to her best friend, her brown eyes downcast, dilated, the expression of someone who had just been defeated. "I've been fucking (Y\N) for a while now. That's basically it, if you haven't figured it out yet."

"Shauna!", you scolded her, even though you didn't know what to say to fix that mistake. Even more defeated, you nodded, pursing your lips. "Yeah, it is what it is, there's nothing more to say."

"You two better have a good explanation for all this, or I'm going to turn your heads into mobiles for my house one by one, I swear to God."

Jackie shouted, and, realizing that there was no longer any way to hide it from anyone - not even from yourselves -, you nodded, leaving the bathroom and going after the girl captain, trying to correct that mistake.

Well, now it was done. You had been discovered. And honestly, maybe being caught in the act just made this whole secret relationship thing even better.

You didn't even care much, to be honest. If you could still kiss and make out with Shauna as much as you wanted — even with her teammates whispering all over the place —that would be enough.

[tomorrowsgardennc]

🍠 harvesting sweet potatoes 🍠

this was my second year growing potatoes, but my first year growing sweet potatoes specifically. when i grew normie potatoes, i ended up with less than what i put in the ground... that's how bad it turned out. while researching why i did so badly, i learned sweet potatoes grow totes differently so i decided i would try those this year.

i am very happy i did.

i started off by bringing my teeny tiny harvest basket assuming i did horribly, but after half of the first plant i had to go grab my big boi harvest crate my dad made me. i also found 4 baby carrots that i grew last year during my harvest. ignore those.

prior to harvesting, i turned to the internet out of habit to see what needed to be done. sadly, the internet had varying degrees of how to handle both harvesting and curing potatoes. then i remembered farmer mama used to grow these so i hit her up for the true knowledge. i shall put it here for y'all.

there's no need to wait until first frost, and actually it's prolly not ideal if you wait. it's going to be first frost pretty soonTM so right now is just fine. it's easier to diggie dig if you trim back all the vines first. i did prune back the vines and leaves the deer left for me, and i tossed them in as my first layer of compost for the garlic bed (garlic post soon, i'm running behind on planting them...)

now i can grab on to the neck of the plant and rip it up. totally not morbid to phrase it that way. to say i squeed with joy when i saw large and bountiful potatoes this time is an understatement. hubs was prepping the perennial flower area to plant those plants and he thought i was getting attacked by yellowjackets again. my yipee and my panic screams are the same so i don't blame him.

for digging, since this was in my tall raised bed i just used my arms and hands and dug around. i had my shovel handy, but my acoustic self prefers to use hands for everything, and also because the shovel could pierce the skin of the potatoes. which isn't horrible, but an annoyance and an extra worry when curing so just not worth imo. the potatoes didn't go further than 8 inches below the soil, so no reason to keep digging. you can also tell when the roots get smaller and smaller. i also learned that for sweet potatoes like 90% of the taters are right under that neck, so also no real reason to dig around too much except if you want to find those baby outliers.

so incredibly happy with this harvest 😍❤️🍠

the purpose of me growing these was because, well, why not, but also because i want to offer sweet potato slips at the farmers market next april. i offered only a few this year because i just didn't know what would happen and if i wanted someone else to grow it and see how theirs turned out to compare. why purple? well, why normie???? purple is so much prettier and i'm actually going to focus on a lot of purple produce in 2025 lmao. but i digress.

ok so i hit the tumblr photo limit just from talking about harvesting these gorgeous purple divas therefore i shall do a 2nd post about the curing stage. spoiler alert: i am curing the baby tubers because market slips next year and i washed the big chonkas in my outdoor sink and boiled them immediately.

boiling was a mistake. good news is i learned the kitchen would look pretty with purple floors 🫠 and that if you clean up purple potato water on kitchen floor with clorox bleach that it turns the purple color blue 🫠 i love science.

since i got too overexcited i boiled too much. i saved enough in the fridge to make a sweet potato pie later this week, ate some for dinner, and then froze the rest in ziploc bags. i have a feeling i'll be making multiple purple sweet potato pies this season because why the hell not.

don't worry i'll have photos of the pie when i make it. hehe.

ok chores real quick then on to the next post about curing the potatoes, very important.

[awildtei]

Jackie Taylor will haunt me forever the way she haunts Shauna, because her death is the first in the show that truly feels like death often does in real life: sudden and anticlimactic and like so much is left incomplete.

We don't really know anything about the ones who died in the crash, and Laura Lee's death has this poetic sense of sacrificial rightness about it, she got on that plane knowing it might not work, she got to say goodbye, her arc as saved-turned-prospective savior is complete. Her arc as saved-by-God turned killed-by-whatever-rules-in-the-wilderness is complete. She passes on her faith and dies a grand, dramatic death (literally goes out with a bang).

But Jackie. Jackie is nothing if not loose threads and 'wait, that's it?'s. She's this character who we first see having sex with her boyfriend and not enjoying it, looking at herself in the mirror in fractured reflections and clearly experiencing deep turmoil about her sense of self vs image, glancing longingly and guiltily at her best friend even as she keeps up the act of golden girl, getting called the leader and uniting force of the Yellowjackets. In the first episode alone we are already presented with all the pieces that could shape up to be a fascinating puzzle once solved.

And those very interesting glimpses of what her arc of self-discovery and self-acceptance may look like (both in, like, a queer way but also in a dropping her façade of Perfect It Girl Who Knows What She's Doing way) (or maybe a darker, self-loathing and continued denial arc, I'm not picky!) get reinforced over and over: it turns out she's not a very good leader. She has sex with Travis and seems to have another moment of 'welp, that didn't work'. She finds out Shauna's had sex with someone and is clearly hurt by it beyond 'you didn't tell me'. She's jealous of how close Shauna is with Tai. She turns out not to be a very good team player when she doesn't get to lead. We know she dies, we think she will be hunted down by a pack of mad women and slaughtered in a frenzy of hatred or something else breathtaking and dramatic.

And then... she dies. She dies, not in a big explosion or with an act of inhumane violence. She dies in the cold, unseen, after a very stereotypical teenage girl fight with her best friend, and any possible character arc she might have had dies with her. Her death is the catalyst for so many things that will be crucial to the other girl's arcs, but her own is just... done. Just like that. No more possibilities for her. No more of her dealing with internalized heteronormativity, no exploration of her relationship with her parents, no hating or loving Shauna, no more anything. She's dead. Who is Jackie Taylor when societal conventions are stripped away and she is the rawest, most honest version of herself? Someone who dies, alone and hurt and heartbroken. Someone who becomes ostracized from a group she once understood to the point that there is no other way forward but for her to die. A teen girl, with insecurities and drama that in another life she might've looked back on as an adult and consider overblown.

Shauna tells Jackie during their final fight that she will peak in high school, and she does. Her development ends in high school, the scattered pieces of her complexities and flaws and potential are blown to the wind and left to be picked up by Shauna in her flawed, subjective recollection. Who could Jackie Taylor have turned out to be if she hadn't died? No one. There is no version of this story in which Jackie makes it out of the wilderness. And so the threads of all the possible paths of her development are left for us and Shauna to pick up and fantasize about, without ever knowing for sure which of them, if any, might have come true.

I think that's why her death is the most tragic, because it feels the most realistic. No chase through the woods, no explosion, no brave sacrifice, no unnameable violence except for a few cruel words. She just... dies. Alone and cold and dreaming of being warm and loved and of her best friend saying back the words Jackie once said to her ('You're my best friend. You know that, right?'). She dies and any meaning attributed to that death is done so after the fact, because it in itself is just fucking... simple and fucking tragic.

And that's the thing, right? She just dies, and the flavor of her death is that of losing a loved one abruptly and going 'wait, what about their plans? their dreams? the version of themselves they'll never get to grow into? what about the unfinished conversations and the half-read book on their bedside table and the goodbyes they didn't get to say and the aspects of their personality they didn't get to develop or change? what do you mean they're just gone and their story is finished without satisfying closure? what do you mean any choice about who they were when alive and who they would've turned into is now up to the ones left behind? It doesn't make any sense. It's not fair.' And it doesn't! And it's not! It's just how it is!

[miss3d-messages]

YELLOWJACKETS SEASON 3 NEW TRAILER AND WHAT I FOUND INTERESTING IN IT!!

maybe I'm just crazy but which one of the girls was narrating the first bit??? is it shauna??? it sounds a bit like her, but could it possibly be a different character or just a side character we haven't gotten that much info on from the first and second season??

mari doing the pit girl run along with the panting afterwards has me... VERY scared... like she had a white dress on and everything there is absolutely no way that can mean anything good...

the chanting??? like the buzz chant in it from the first ep has me THINKING... as well as that the specfic characters doing it are: akilah, van, misty, and... 2 other girls which i err can NOT make out sorgy on that one.... all i know is they both have dark long hair. but this scene def makes me think they'll start splitting into groups of some kind.

as much as i don't.... love coach or anything, the scene where he's gazing at the wired noose is certainly worrying to say the least.

JACKIE GHOST!!!! i think we all..... very much knew she would be coming back with how the people on the yellowjackets panel answered the question of, "will jackie come back in season 3??" but nonetheless, still so excited and can't WAITTT to see her as a ghost...

NO EYED WOMAN AND TAIVAN!?!?! so happy we r getting more taissa backstory oh my godddd.... i KNOW the eye woman will be important to the story or the lore in some way this season. ok. mark my words i swear.... as for taivan; I do love them but.... im so so worried about how their relationship will go. Sure, its cute in the plane crash timeline, but it very much seems like it could get reallllyyy messy back in the adult timeline.

a new blackmail plot???? kinda nervous with how it'll go considering the last blackmail plot..... excited, since now we have all the survivors (hopefully....) going through it, so it'll certainly turn out far differently than before. Gonna be so mad if its ANOTHERR survivor i swear.....

MISTY INVESTIGATING... SOMEWHERE??? don't have enough context clues for this one, but, and this is just heh. a bit of a theory. but it looks eerily similar to the underground area lottie in the plane crash timeline keeps seeing.

"You're not in charge anymore." so... we can clearly see shauna isn't taking not becoming the antler queen great... however!!! we still aren't certain that nat is the antler queen. there are hopefully gonna be 5 seasons, after all.

MISTY STABBING SOMEONE HELLO!?!?!? from the clothes and the hair and overall the side features, I think it could be shauna. No other clues, but from misty burning the picture of everyone at the reunion to.... well. trying to possibly stab shauna, it could possibly be related to nat, considering just from christina's interview about misty she has said she is certainly taking it the hardest.

walter seeing.... something?? so far he's only really been associated with misty, and characters who are.... strictly associated and talk the most to one certain character in yellowjackets usually.... err. don't turn out the best, is all I'm saying!!!

we've been seeing a LOT of the girl with long blonde hair in the newest trailer that got introduced in season 2. One shot of shauna talking, with her in frame, and another with a knife against her throat. I definitely could see her playing a much bigger role in season 3.

shauna being pulled underwater?? Possibly more evidence that there IS an actual super natural force in the forest?? Or another hunt????

LASTLY.... who is that girl in the final scene???? Is the the blonde side character I talked abt 2 paragraphs ago??? Literally no other evidence on her so I have no clue whatsoever.

that is it ok baiiii :3

[ladystoneboobs]

yeah, yeah, all the main yjs have dead (or comatose wife and hs girlfriend continually rejected by death in taissa's case) girlfriends but the only one actually equal to jackie as virgin laura palmer is the other dead main character.

mirror, mirror + apparition haunting surviving partner when they enter the lost one's bedroom

romantic slo-mo head turn toward the camera/yellowjacket who loves them most

partners find their corpses with a friend trying to tear them away/comfort them

both deaths had elements of suicide as travis was trying to get close to death (and was def courting death if he was willing to do it without someone else to press the button) and jackie could have gone back inside at any time. yes, she wanted to live if shauna would just love her again, but she could not survive if shauna and the rest of the team had all rejected her. also lottie and laura lee were involved in both deaths, though in very different roles.

surviving partners grieve at reunion looking at pictures of lost love while someone else really into the partner looks on beside them (jeff's not in the shot but we all know he's right beside shauna)

and can't ignore the natalie connection which brought them together to lose their virginity. both disapproved of bobby farley, though travis had a more personal interest. both were generally uncomfortable with nat's sexual experience due to their own sexual insecurities. this led to jackie unknowingly breaking them up (she could not have foreseen travis's reaction without knowing his history of bullying by bobby) and then taking advantage of their split to have sex before she died. she wasn't really acting out of desire or any attraction to travis so much as a misguided and futile desire to get even with shauna, who had pulled ahead of her in the sexual experience race in the worst way. travis did not really want to be with her either but likely gave in because some part of her bitter speech touched his own feelings about never having sex while the person he loved already had.

and then what happened after the disappointing doomcoming sex that they probably both regretted? both were promptly punished for it, travis especially for having had sex with jackie but not being equally available to the rest of the yellowjackets. when he tried to escape their drugged-up attempted gangbang he instantly turned from sex object to prey. to meat. let us never forget who the intended first sacrifice was.

if the cannibalism of jackie's corpse was a natural extension of girls' bodies never fully belonging to them and being consumed by others, as i have seen posited, then travis had a place at the feast just like all the yellowjackets. he may not have their years of experience being objectified but he did have that night where almost all the girls felt entitled to his body in every way, to have sex with, to slaughter, and presumably, to eat. one could say he was one of the girlies from that night on. problem is, though natalie helped save him from being a ritual sacrifice that night, he could not truly escape for good. like in a final destination movie Death and darkness could only be delayed, continuing to hunt him into adulthood until he was finally claimed. thus his girlification became complete, finalized, and irreversible when he entered dead gf/wife mode in natalie's sl, complete with the standard dead wife pose shown above, which appeared twice in nat's memory. more than laura lee and certainly more than kristin/crystal, travis is the fridged girl haunting the narrative, existing only to die and thereby drive the plot forward for his more important love interest.

[f1endish]

Ok so my brain has decided to spiral from the headcanon of Papa Ed and Eddie Chiplucky being related which has turnt into me thinking up a whole backstory for both which I need to expel from my thoughts sooooo

Basically in the order of events:

* Ed and Eddie are twins whose parents separate when both are in their teenage years. Predominantly raised by their mother, I can imagine their dynamic is very similar to that of Stan & Ford from Gravity Falls, Ed ends up as a scientist and Eddie being considered the black sheep of the family with him being transmasc & gay and they live in Texas (not the most accepting place for the LGBTQIA+ community from what I've heard, probably worse since I imagine he's in his late 30s-early 40s so he was probably born somewhere in or around the 80s) so gets kicked out by his mom and finds work on the black market.

This work involves being paid privately by clients to track gather blackmail on people normally with photos/videos. As an example, a suspicious spouse paying him to see if their partner is out cheating on them or a business owner wanting to get more stakes in their company so get Eddie to get evidence of their co-owner doing shady stuff so blackmail them into getting their claim of the business. I chose this since 1) I myself am into photography and am taking it for one of my college courses 2) It gives opportunity for Charles & Eddie to have possibly worked together in the past before properly meeting and in turn Charles knowing who he is and what Eddie can do. Not only being able to find people (A bonus of this is that Eddie has the gift in my mind, it was definitely stronger when he was younger but it has still stayed around a bit. In a nutshell Eddie has a spider sense thing that helps him identify if someone also has the gift) but get out of situations where he was probably caught by the people he was getting blackmail on and having to talk his way out of that situation, which would be good for convincing people to get into the whole Rollerama thing; And making it to where I can compare Eddie to Daniel from Interview with a Vampire so that makes Charles Armand and in turn Golden Treasure as Devils Minion sounds perfect in my mind, and 3) It gives Eddie at least a tiny connection to Blinky cause I swear he does like, from the Blinkys song instrumental playing in Yellowjacket when Ethan & Hannah are in Pizza Pete's to the whole looking through security cameras being the first time we meet him.

* Back onto the main plot of the backstory, Ed worked on the project that created Otho and had a lot of concerns over it. At the same time, Eddie & Ed's mother contacts Eddie begrudgingly cause she's concerned over Ed and can't get into contact with him since he moved out and didn't give her his number. So Eddie takes on the task of finding him and ends up in Hatchetfield where he runs into Ed and they talk, Ed expressing how worried he is about what Otho could do if the project were to be completed so asking Eddie if he can break in there with a key card Ed gives him and gather evidence against the project to get it shut down or at least halted as for as long as possible.

* Eddie agrees, but later on ending up getting caught and questioning on who gave him the key card to get in. Eventually, ending up getting punched in the mouth by one of the security guys there (who I like to imagine is Bruno since I like the idea that he gave him his iconic golden tooth he has in Yellowjacket). Charles who has heard of what's gone on since of how Eddie getting in could have been a bad thing cause of how much he invested into Otho, comes to see Eddie who he recognises and has a talk with.

* Very much like the song 'The Other Side' from the Greatest Showman, he gets Eddie a drink to loosen him up (hopefully enough to get him to talk) and says he basically just simply wants to know who gave him access and Eddie would be good as gold. Even offering him the recruiting job at the Rollerama. Eddie considers this, he's not stupid and he knows if he doesn't eventually rat Ed put, he's fucked. These guys mean real business. Eddie is not a brave man. And Charles is considering him after everything, offering him a more secure job than he had before, he has had experience talking with the guy briefly before but to get his talents noticed is a thing Eddie hasn't dealt with in a while, looking at him like he's... good treasure. His mother had always favoured Ed over him, with him being the more academically successful, while he was probably just the screw up who only was contacted by her to find her golden child of Ed. He's been bitter and doesn't want to be in this level of trouble cause his brother couldn't even deal with his own problems himself. So... he agrees.

* Charles thanks him, and Ed gets taken in and probably exposed to some sort of other project him and the other scientists were working on and then promptly fired, so now probably very traumatized he ends up adopting Peanuts the Pocket Squirrel as a coping mechanism to focus on. Eddie's corruption arc furthers to how he is when we see him in Yellowjacket.

* Ok, so this probably doesn't line up with the proper timeline of the Hatchetfield Franchise and might be a bit ooc. Still might make a fanfic or an au around it one day, who knows 🤷

[docholligay]

Do you think having such a personalized and detailed headcanon makes it harder to enjoy fic about the show/game that's written by others?

I mean sure, probably.

But unfortunately things I adore, for people named Doc who are me, fall into one of two buckets:

The character work and plot in this show are incredible, I find myself turning it around in my mind like a rotisserie chicken. I constantly discover new things about the show/book/game or the characters in it. I do not read fic about this, because why would I? Every answer I search for is in the text. I want to talk about this with someone, but about what is THERE, not what could be there. Ex: The Haunting of Hill House, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Piranesi, Bioshock:Infinite, Watership Down, Yellowjackets, among others.

The concepts of this could be amazing but are handled so fucking badly so consistently, in a shocking contrast to how INCONSISTENT the character work is, that all I want to do is steal it and make it better. All i want to do is turn it into something that doesn't suck ass when you look at it too hard. So I am going to take it SO seriously, and I am going to develop the rich inner lives for these characters that they lack, with intense backstories and families and motivation for how they got to be the person we know, or know sometimes, in certain episodes or shorts. Ex: Sailor Moon and Overwatch are the biggies here obviously, this is actually not an emotion I feel very often. I don't have intense backstories and extra-textual feelings and ideas about most of the stuff I read and watch, these two are just my Spiders Georg.

So! The odds on me being into something in the correct way to make me want to Seek Treasure Elsewhere but also I have a chill enough attitude about how the characters are that Any Dream Will Do is almost nil. I do not in ANY way mean this in a shady way, but I mostly read published adult fiction for entertainment and not fanfic. I am very picky about my fanfic. So, "plus these two new red and blue girls into Starbucks" often won't work for me, because the reasons to have Haruka and Michiru meet in a coffee shop are completely different from any of the reasons Fareeha and Angela might meet in a coffee shop, and so many of those types are archtypical plug and play stuff. Honestly, I have skated the idea of making a cheat sheet of fanon archetypes of various characters and buying a typewriter to sell 100-200 word 'quick fic' at cons with my sister. That's how common it is to use these archetypes. This is not a criticism! At all!

But, to take the two couples above, I have read so much BORING SHIT about both HM and FA that I could throw up. Lesbian couples have a lot of very milquetoast writing about them, and a lot of meet-cute which isn't really my bag.

But there are authors I love! @oathkeeper-of-tarth was and is one of the best harumichi writers out there and we don't even have all the same headcanons. The rare occasions @verbforverb decides to grace me with "Jewish Mercy I don't Have To Write" I pop a can of bubbly in the tub. And on both fields of battle @keyofjetwolf has stuff I've had bookmarked for years, and there are some things even within Rei's backstory and history that we disagree on.

Actually, to that point what I like is good writing. You can write me into believing nearly anything. There are things I believe about Amelie when I'm reading @lemon-embalmer's stuff that when I go back to my own world, aren't true, but when I'm in her world who the fuck cares, I'm having a great time. EVEN MORE to the point, I read @moonlight-frittata's stupid sun and moon lesbian League of Legends shit and I would rather shoot myslef than know ANYTHING about the game, but unfortunately she has a beautiful turn of phrase and plot flow to her work that I just....read anyway, because it is good. Fucking @tallangrycockatiel had me like 25 pages or so into a story before I was like, "OH SHIT, IS THIS SLASH??? WAIT I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT BOYS' LOVE!! NO!!" *hits next page* And I still could not care less about that podcast and would never listen to it, and if I did I would be massively disappointed because to my mind, her John and Arthur are the actual article, and whatever the fuck is going on in the source material can eat my dick.

So, yes, I DO think that having a very particular point of view is going to mean I back out of a story where like, "Lena stepped out of her Chelsea flat, custom leather high heels clicking against the step" sometimes, or, you know, "Haruka put down her copy of War and Peace, each meticulous note codified by a color-coded tab. Blue was for historical references to research, green for character analysis, yellow for themes, blah blah blah*" But I am actually shockingly open minded in what I will read, often to the point that I'm reading stuff from SHIT I DO NOT LIKE OR CARE ABOUT, because the quality of the writing is excellent. So, also no.

*I met someone who read books like this and I suddenly realized what the literary equivalent of 'knowing someone is a serial killer' was.

[tabithatwo]

I used to be a firm antler queen is a rotating position believer and I often thought it was the girl slated to be the next sacrifice being honored before her turn but every day I get more and more convinced that the antler queen isn’t any of them. Vanity fairs article about Jackie potentially being the antler queen started it rattling around in my brain (I don’t necessarily think it’s her or a figure of her, that theory just kicked off the concept of a Not Them antler queen). Now if you read the death and near death dreams as “it” manifesting as imitations of them, we see the wilderness guiding them where it wants them, taking sacrifices as it pleases without their input or a system to speak of. Eventually we know they do come up with their own system for the sacrifices, like they learn it’s rules enough to meet its requirements with intention or bargain with it or something along those lines. These Paul moments Ben has with the flickering, those can’t be nothing. I’m sorry but while it’s possible they’re really deep diving THAT hard into his delusions or fantasies, I find it really unlikely with the weird specifics embedded in them. Odd language, flickering tape screen, the transformation of the cabin, the way they seem to be pushing him somewhere. And he DOES keep getting framed with antlers. As has Lottie, the most obviously, and Jackie in her death dream. The framing of Lottie might not be framing her As Antler Queen, but as very intertwined with the wilderness. Ben seems to be an object of its interest too now, if we take the Paul scenes to be something more than his mind wandering. Jackie was framed with them as she took the hot chocolate (and her physical body was later integral to their survival which feels relevant to me too). With the antler queen BEING Lottie’s therapist in 2x07, I’m really starting to think it’s potentially projection of the wilderness. Like…they’re offering their sacrifice to some more literal physical projection of it somehow. Whether it’s viewed as mass hallucination or only one of them can see it and the rest play along or it’s a turn into the explicitly supernatural. I just really think these death dreams are a tangible supernatural realm, with Travis saying they could communicate with “it” when they’re near death. So maybe it comes out in other ways out there. I’m not saying I like this or hope for it or think it’s likely, because I’m not sure how I feel about it and so much is dependent on where the show goes, but it’s a possibility that went from nowhere on my radar to buzzing around my brain at warp speed, especially after 2x07. ANYWAY this is what the inside of my brain looks like at midnight after a really terrible day lol cheers to yellowjackets huperfixation taking the edge off I guess!

[langfield]

so in the text messages it’s shown that max and safi attended vinh’s halloween party before the events of the game and my mind has been spinning about how that went lol. i know both max and safi ended up getting wasted by the end of it but i was wondering if you had any headcanons about that particular night? specifically with how max and vinh interacted with each other considering how they would most likely still be in the early stages of getting to know each other.

i also wonder what their actual costumes were?? especially considering how safi seemed to really want to show vinh up in that department lmao.

aha. well! it’s very funny you mention the party, because i am drafting up a fic that takes place after and during it for a safi/max piece … so i’m afraid i’ll have to be pretty tight lipped about some aspects.

though the costumes i tentatively picked out for this fic and vinh’s halloween party is from a real world show called yellowjackets : a two season show about girls being stranded in the wilderness and losing their minds … to be as vague as possible. i personally love the show, so this is minor indulgence on my end! but there is some significance to my pick even if some fans won’t understand the reference. safi attends as ‘the antler queen’ and max’s outfit is more basic, given the fact the texts imply she was sort of spacing her own costume … she’s just a yellowjacket, a teenager, so they both look something like this ( with modifications of course, they made these outfits from scratch ) :

i’ve always found the antler queen’s design to be rather mesmerizing in terms of how haunting it is, so i think safi’s arts-and-crafts project for it would definitely show up vinh at the party. it’s not just the costume either -- it’s the energy she’ll carry while wearing it. and if there’s one thing safi is so good at, it’s silently commanding attention without much effort and maintaining an aura of mystery. point is : she’ll kill it. max’s is more low effort ( it’s just the jacket you see in the second picture, and her project doesn’t even look nearly as good, i’m afraid ) but being attached at safi’s hip helps! i could go on and on about why i’ve picked these outfits for them, though i’ll shut my trap for now because the fic touches upon it lightly … but if you’ve seen the show, you probably have an inkling as to why they’re wearing what they are, and why this show would be so up safi’s alley. vinh lang stands no chance!

but as for how vinh and max interacted during that night, i sadly doubt they brushed shoulders much solo. safi and max showed up together in matching costumes and i’m sure they hardly left each other’s side the whole time, what with max being such a loner initially ( she didn’t even hang out with moses one-on-one back then ) and safi being obsessed in turn … they likely existed in their own bubble and anyone who talked to one basically talked to them both. vinh would likely be jealous of this, given his admission of such feelings to max in spin when he confessed that safi would talk about max ‘all the time’, so this is a similar situation : where vinh wants safi’s attention and time desperately, but she is eagerly orbiting around the new blood instead. very complicated! this is also a vinh who is posturing still in many ways and is stupidly jealous, meaning that there wouldn’t be much going on between him and max besides some catty pettiness on vinh’s part, and total obliviousness on max’s. he likely would avoid her if possible back then, despite his own conflicting feelings about everything surrounding her -- since i do firmly believe vinh was always attracted to max in ways he couldn’t quite explain, outside of a vague ‘we could hook up’ feeling. which makes being jealous of her more complicated than it should be. for all his sleuthing and bitter stewing, i don’t think he could ever properly hate her, so instead it’s an odd game of sore looks and snide remarks. they knew of each other ( vinh knew more about max than she knew of him, given safi’s rambling ), perhaps talked in passing, and max clearly saw vinh enough in her day-to-day to have his photo on her photo wall … but their beginnings were still curt and bittersweet. it’s important to remember that!

[delistravaganza]

I swear I relate to everything you have written about the enemies to lovers trope and lesbians.

it’s not even about lesbian representation, at least in fandom, of course that’s important but it’s not the point here, it’s about having wlw stories that are as...complex? Messed up? Intricated? as straight or even (in more recent years) mlm romantic storylines are allowed to be. I feel like I am constantly hungry of complicate stories with lesbian or bisexuals female characters involved in messy relationship. But almost every popolar ship that I meet on fandom or tv shows either is watered down, made all soft and sweet and not threatening and so not complicate enough to be appealing. (or in the fews that are not like that in the original media they get made in this way by the fandom- it’s so unnerving). it seems to me that’s it is either “tragic dead lesbian” or “soft sapphic story all is sweet uwu”. As someone who love stories with romance only when the romance is very complicated and not necessarily healthy and full of ambivalent feelings (don’t judge me as you said it’s just a matter of preference ashahaha) I sometimes read slash (mlm) fanfiction on ao3 that feature very complicate and not necessarily healthy dynamics and I go damn I wish that there was a fanfiction exactly like this but with two women instead of two men.

I get this 1000%. To be fair, I don't think it's just the wlw couples being UwUified in recent films and shows, this happens to all queer representation because of the pressure to create "good rep". To some extent, it's even happening with straight pairings because people are more aware now of sexism and what it really means to consent, though everyone still seems to be willing to let this knowledge fly off if teh guy iz HOT.

But there seems to be a particular issue with writing f/f interactions that are manipulative, dark or somehow more adult, not necessarily meaning sex but rather a more nuanced portrayal of the relationship. Whereas all the straight toxic romances went to specific (and thriving) genres such as "dark romance" (which at least seems to be more self-conscious as the Reylo fic I mentioned before), and we get glorious epics of m/m fanfiction stories (and books that feel like fanfiction), it sometimes seems like the women characters are treated as little girls.

Even in a dark, creepy, cannibalistic, adult-oriented show such as Yellowjackets, I found myself more interested in the hypothetical Jackie/Shauna pairing because oh boy that was complex! than in the actual lesbian pairings involving Tai, who is a great and somewhat nuanced character except when it comes to her (sanitized) relationships. Is it really just me favoring problematic and unhealthy dynamics or is there some truth to this? (It may be me.) Is Tai a bit tamed down because she's gay AND black?

Also, to be completely fair, I think that I have more expectations when it comes to wlw plots, maybe because I subconsciously think of them as more "me" than the others. I've read a lot about how women use slash to slip away from the narrative and write more freely, and the fact is - I've read a lot of trash when it comes to m/m. And I definitely don't remember it with the resentment I save for f/f media like First Kill ("you fucking set out to be everything I wanted and turned out to be a pile of dog shit!").

I have also read extremely interesting books featuring f/f dynamics on the latest years, which I could post here instead of whining à la Louis de Pointe du Lac, but the fact is that these books already set out to be a work of literary merit and weren't written to dwell on the romance or possible romance itself. I'm not even counting MBF here as I read it a while back for the first time, but it could be an example - I don't know, but it definitely wasn't written with UwUification in mind. I'm still thrilled at how much the marketing DID and DOES UwUify our girls and their relationship. Sometimes the marketing is like: Wouldn't you just love to have such a special friendship like these two? Uhhh what? No, thank you, I had my share of that shit?!?

Oh, and also - I'm not even sure it comes down to self-identification either. I said I identify with Catradora, but the fact is I don't necessarily identify with either Catra or Adora. I just identified with their feelings, and I felt empathy for them, and I worried and I suffered and I felt frustrated and I so, so, so hungered and feared for their fights and God, you should really check this one out because it's really on the edge between UwU and dark, and I think it's this mixture what made it work in today's world. It seemed to appeal to both parts of me - the one who lowkey wants the positive, young-and-healthy-oriented rep she didn't have as a teen, and the more prevalent one who prefers angst and twisted things. And yes, it's a cartoon. A cartoon did what many real, adult-oriented shows and books couldn't do with me.

But Catradora probably also worked because we, the audience, were purposefully kept in the dark about them, so we got to experience their story as it developed and without any clear expectation as what the end would be (compared to: here's your wlw romance of the day! Ship them! Hope they don't die!), something I'm sure you wouldn't be able to achieve now that all the info is out there.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and already taking too much time off work. But I find this topic fascinating. If anyone else wants to join in the conversation or point me somewhere that isn't Buffy/Faith or Catradora or Villanelle or Nicky/Lorna (YES I STILL SHIP THEM AND WILL ALWAYS DO) or our Neapolitan toxic friends, please do. And as always, nice talking to you. <3

---

P.D.: Here's a long video analysis that I really liked that tackles why "good" LGBT representation is boring (not wlw representation exclusively).

[the-chilly-kat]

Yellowjackets season 2 finale spoilers ahead

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I think what’s really pissing me off about Nat’s death is that the whole thing had the trappings of a really good tragedy but in reality was a very poorly executed one.

The set up is good; you have Nat who’s struggling with the past, has no hope and doesn’t want to live anymore or let anyone in, who then starts to heal and connect with unexpected people (Misty, Lisa and Lottie).

Then you have Misty, who is so desperately lonely and wants a true friend more than anything but struggles to connect due to her strange habits and obsessive personality. She has constantly been othered by her peers and her first real friend died due to her actions.

The start of season two set everything up really well with Misty doing everything to find Nat, whilst Nat starts to actually process stuff at the compound.

But it seems they completely dropped the ball from the moment Misty got into the compound, after Nat turned her away at the gate (which was very in character in my opinion).

Considering they were planning for Misty to cause Natalie’s death and a large part of what made season one great was the tragedy of Laura lee and Jackie’s deaths, why on earth didn’t they have Misty and Natalie actually interact? And why didn’t we get a shot of Misty reacting to Nat admitting she had tried to kill herself?

Natalie could have had a moment of realisation that Misty actually does care about her. They could have gotten closer, continued their duo dynamic from season one and really truly started to connect as Natalie started breaking down her own walls and looking past Misty’s facade.

They are the only two that seem to want to talk about what happened out there. They could have bonded over that.

Then when it comes to a head and Natalie dies, the grief and horror would have been so much more pronounced. Misty holding her only real friend in her arms as she dies because of Misty, just like Kristin did.

Maybe it would have been too cliche but I think it could have been interesting if Natalie died saving Misty (maybe Lisa tries to shoot her or something) which would act as a parallel to Misty saving Natalie at the hunt.

The tragedy of two lonely, damaged people finally coming together and finding companionship in one another, only for the past to catch up with them and repeat itself just as they start to grow beyond their pain, could have been so good! It could have really hammered home how these characters cannot escape their fate/past. They are trapped by it, they were shaped by it, there is no them without the wilderness and if they really try to leave the wilderness behind it will eat them. It should have hurt like Jackie’s death did, not felt like something out of a soap opera!

Instead it felt cheap and shallow. Having Natalie, a canonically suicidal person who has struggled with addiction her whole life, die by an accidental overdose is gross in my opinion. The writers may have thought that it was adding a level of irony to the tragedy but tbh I think part of it was so they wouldn’t have to write a way out of having the rest of the team arrested for murder at the compound. It felt lazy and insulting. Considering they’ve used Walter as a convenient fix all to solve the Adam situation too, I’m getting the impression that the writers simply didn’t know how to keep Shauna out of jail otherwise.

I might have more thoughts to add later but for now this is it =/

[pyrotechnicarus]

Got any horror movie recommendations?

Absolutely! You've probably seen most of these before but I'll put em on the list just in case. In no particular order:

The Lighthouse (2019): A recent fave, batshit two-hander about lighthouse keepers in the 19th century slowly driving each other insane. A masterclass in how to write dialogue & use imagery in film.

The Wicker Man (the OG 70s one, the nick cage one is boring which is worse than bad): great OG folk horror, view it with a critical eye (blah blah paganism is hypersexual etc) but its aesthetic beauty is undeniable

Midsommar: Like The Wicker Man but the message is don't be a dick and/or a graduate student, which I can get behind a little more. Also beautiful.

Nope (Jordan Peele movie): great spooky western about hypervisibility/spectation and blackness in hollywood and also the human/animal divide. And there's a hot cowboy with a UFO suit in it! What else do you need.

Get Out (same): The OG and my second favorite Jordan Peele movie. A black man visits his white girlfriend's family for the first time and lands straight in uncanny valley.

Us (same): Can you tell I love his work? The home invasion story by way of Freud & your doppelganger is your shadow self. Creepy and intellectually fun to turn around - there's a great chapter on it in Amber Musser's "Between Shadows and Noise" that I found interesting.

The Ritual: Folk horror about Scandanavia and not being stupid in the woods. Had a fun creature. A friend of ours went on a remote biological research assignment where they watch this in a cabin in the woods every year and as nearly as you can replicate that experience I think it makes for better viewing

The Thing: Do I really have to sell you on The Thing?

The Shining: Do I really have to sell you on The Shining?

I Saw The TV Glow: Do I really have to- just kidding. Potent work of trans nostalgia horror and genuinely one of the most exciting movies I've seen in ages. Beautifully shot and heart wrenching.

Skinamarink: While we are on the topic of movies that are boring as dirt until they aren't, I loved Skinamarink as a guy who grew up in the suburbs and enjoys a nice long visual fuzz. Very rewarding if you stick with it.

Killing of a Sacred Deer: A little more outwardly avant garde than others on this list, but likewise so good if you accept that. Thinking of it as fundamentally about the lack of empathy that one must practice to be part of the medical field makes it so much better.

I've seen others I liked (Honorable Mention to The Stepford Wives, Annihilation, Cabin in the Woods, and Nosferatu remake) but those are my top ones! I'm also not including TV shows but Yellowjackets and The Terror S1 are up there for me. Happy watching!

[underpaidrenegayed]

Human Supernova

Here we have a sample of a fic I'm writing. An AU where the worlds of Twilight and Yellowjackets collide. Please give me feedback and let me know if I should continue!

...

AU where Jackie steps out into the cold and is changed forever.

Alt; its twilight but Jackie and shauna

 

“Or maybe you never did”.

Shauna’s face, Shauna’s voice, Shauna’s very stupid fucking essence ricocheted around Jackie’s skull, aching with every impact and never decreasing in intensity. Jackie stomped further and further away from the cabin, the ferocity of her movements slowing with each freezing step. As she marched on, the fog of her breath instantly formed ice crystals over her eyelashes, which just as quickly thawed with the heat of another cascade of frustrated tears. Jackie had never imagined she could feel so low, let alone that Shauna could ever be the catalyst.

It was these thoughts that now prompted her to turn around. She had traveled far, much farther than it felt. How long had she been walking? The firelight from the cabin window appeared like the flicker of a candle now. Jackie was honestly a little pissed that she had gone all this way and no one had bothered to follow her.

Maybe it was for the best. Without the plans she had made with Shauna, without Shauna at all… what was the point of turning back? It made Jackie sick to even think about having to face her again. Maybe Jackie had been selfish. Maybe the cold was well deserved. A hot, painful lump began to form in Jackie’s throat, and she no longer saw a need to choke back her sobs. The snow would dampen the sound anyway. When did it start snowing?

Jackie fought with herself like this often. She suspected the lack of self-worth stemmed from her mother’s influence, and that any bit of confidence and self-respect she had…well, she could credit that to Shauna. Years of Jackie standing in front of the mirror, poking and prodding her body while verbally chastising herself for any number of perceived personal qualities while Shauna stood behind her, all doe eyes and wonder and love. Love, isn’t that what it was? They had always said it to each other. Always. Jackie made sure of it, a grade school blood oath had sealed the promise in place.

“Shauna! Oh no!” Jackie rushed to the other side of the hopscotch board, oversized shoelaces brushing against the pavement as she ran. Concern washed over her face, widening her marble eyes into saucers.

“Ow! Shoot, Jackie. Ow ow ow. I think I have to go to the nurse.” Shauna gingerly pinched her small fingers around her scraped knee, full of fresh asphalt from the playground blacktop. Shauna’s cheeks reddened and she sniffled.

Jackie knelt down in front of Shauna and inspected the wound herself. She must have fallen directly onto the hopscotch rock, as there appeared to be a small crater in Shauna's leg. Jackie’s mouth set with determination. Her best friend would not be alone in this.

Jackie stood and before Shauna could ask what was happening, Jackie was off and running. She turned a lap and ran back towards Shauna, then slid, hard, on both of her knees back to where she had started.

“Jackie! What the heck! Are you okay? Why did you do that?”

Jackie winced as she pulled her legs from under her, revealing two nasty skinned knees. She shrugged her shoulders and flashed the other girl a sad smirk. “When you feel hurt, I feel hurt. That's how much I love you!”

Shauna shook her head and beamed at her, radiant with awe and appreciation. “Jax, I think you might be a little crazy. I love you too, though. Thank you.”

Now, it was Jackie's turn to grin. She felt warm, accomplished. Like she meant at least half as much to Shauna as Shauna meant to her. She didn't want it to end. 

“I think maybe we should say it more. I was reading this book where a wizard was talking about how love is magic and can make you happy and protect you and stuff. I wanna keep you safe, Shauna. No more getting hurt, at least not alone. So we say I love you more? But we have to mean it!” A wave of apprehension fluttered in her stomach as she realized how silly she must sound.

Shauna bumped her shoe playfully into Jackie's and giggled. “I'm always gonna mean it, silly. I'll say it a bunch more so we have like, super awesome love forcefields. Every single day!” 

A violent shiver shook Jackie out of the memory. The light from the cabin was completely out of sight now. Shit. Where was she?

Jackie tried in vain to get her bearings and cursed herself for not paying better attention. She felt so stupid and so, so small. Just then, she heard a rustling in the distance. Then another, and another, in an impossibly fast circle, tightening around her. Her body was physically aware of what was happening before her synapses could make the connection. Unfortunately for Jackie, her attacker was green, fervent, fueled by bloodlust. He had been attempting a “vegetarian” lifestyle, which had lately been too much for him to handle. In this state, he cared little about the rules of the game. Any semblance of conscience he did have was often overshadowed by hunger, then immediately replaced with shame. He couldn't do it, he couldn't be what they wanted. He couldn't deny what he was.

Jackie's head was unceremoniously snapped backwards while he sank his teeth into the tender flesh of her neck. It was all too fast, she couldn't even think to make a sound. Her vision began to fade to black, starting at the edges. When she could finally conceive of a single thought, it wasn't about survival, or fighting, or how to escape the clutches of death. Jackie Taylor lay dying, suddenly dropped to the ground as her seemingly frightened attacker skittered away, with the last of her lifeblood dripping alarmingly slowly into the snow. Jackie Taylor lay dying and thought of Shauna Shipman.