#it turns one year old tmrw

[weedplantar]

Trying to figure out a good photo to go on my new pinned intro I'm writing

[nomaishuttle]

ALSO daj complimented my hair andnsaid it was very thick and looked nide and jm like :]]

[alittleemo]

sometimes im like maybe im not nd maybe im j making it all up. and other times i sit at family dinner and go ohh so i can track Exactly what each of you gave me .

[kryptznnn]

♛- PLAY-HARD IV

1st part / 2nd part/ 3rd part / 4th part

Series Masterlist ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

➸ INTERESTS; - olo'eyktan!jake x fem! omatikayan reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - working alongside Moat has helped you and your family in various ways, as a way to repay her for your free working she pairs you along side Toruk Makto to aid him in small departments he needs assistance in, but more importantly to find a Tsahik suitable for the Olo'eyktan, but he isn't always cooperative. Thankfully things have turned out for the better, Jake and you being close, but what does that mean for the future of the omatikayan people?

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 3.4k, slight age gap (25 & 21), takes place after the great war, slow burn, arguing, angst, fighting, confessions, crying/tears, mentions of abandonment, screaming, fluff, jake being crazy kinda and y/n being a dick a little, make-up, bruises, injuries⭐️, romantic tension, small kisses.

➸a.i; - had enough fluff and smut i’m an angst kinda lover so i’m gonna hurt all of u guys with this 🙇🏾‍♂️ do not hate me for this i’ll make it up in the next chapter😭 (NOT PROOF READ, i’m literally dead rn i’ll edit more tmrw if anything’s wrong, currently working on chapter 5 and a neteyam drabble so i’ll be updating way more this week).

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

*na’vi translation will be provided*

“Someone seems cheery” Mo’at spoke, upon your arrival to her tent where multiple other women were, either helping injured warriors or practicing their own form of medicine from herbs you originally would use alongside Mo’at. You smiled and greeted her softly, asking her what she meant by her statement.

“Nga tíran nemfa syura txantan na aylahe tsawke” [You walk in, energy brighter than the sun] She rolled her tongue, to which your tail swished slightly, grinning even larger. Understanding what she meant, you practically seemed in a good mood, and more than usual, as if you’ve been spending all morning helping the children in the village, which you’d usually do to start off your day before visiting her (if ewya let you from the late hours you’d wake up).

She just chuckled to herself and saved a seat beside her for you to begin helping her with other warriors and younger women learning the ways and traditions of the tsahik.

Soon after everyone left you stayed afterwards, as always. Already eating another meal and having chats with Mo’at, catching up with one another.

“Have you found someone for the olo’ektyan?” She asked, standing up slowly to begin cleaning the small messes left behind from the previous na’vi inside. You hesitated before answering, not knowing exactly to say. “He’s very difficult, but no I haven’t-“

“No? From the way you’re glowing and the left over evidence of what you two have done are you SURE you haven’t found someone for him?” She laughed, quickly getting a reaction out of you, quickly placing your hands on the side of your neck and collarbone, to which he had left love-bites on.

“We haven’t done anything. He hasn’t done anything, we both remain unmated” You stated, turning your head the other way, not really wanting to get into this type of conversation. “If you do end up mating it must be soon, the clan is in need of a Tsahik, I won’t always be here forever.” She stated sharply, turning to look at you and grabbing a nearby broom, cleaning slowly. “You know better than anyone I’m not prepared to be Tsahik, there are thousands of other na’vi women that could take my place-“

“I’ve raised you for nearly 13 years of your life and taught you all I know, if you aren’t ready now when will you ever be ready?” She asked, quickly cutting you off, you sighed and quickly tied your hair back, beginning to collect the bowls and left over remedies around, knowing she was right. It wasn’t your fault you were scared, you were young and had over 100 years until you’d die from old age and part of you didn’t believe you’d be able to. Maybe you’d let down your clan rather than helping them from the goodness of your heart, you weren’t as strong-hearted and wise as Mo’at, nor as smart and powerful as Jake. Sure you were a skilled shooter, whether with archery or with the earth weapons, Jake himself made sure of that, but fear consumed you. “Maybe it is not the placement of Tsahik you fear, maybe it’s the placement that comes with it..” She pondered, pausing and turning to you, to which you slowly glanced up at her, sighing softly.

“I can serve my people.” You stated, she nodded as if she was waiting for you to repeat those words. “But can you serve your olo’ektyan?” She asked quickly, watching you pause and sit there, your ears lowering slowly as you stood up in front of her, a small pout on your lips. Without a doubt even if you couldn’t always please your people you’d be able to support and help to your best ability, especially in the healing specifics, but things between you and Jake would change, which is something you COULDN’T risk. She finished sweeping and took you into a soft hug, as if she understood the situation you were in and how your mind was. For some reason it’s so much easier to fixate and plan out someone’s life for him on the sidelines, but on the front lines things seemed horrible, especially stress, that was something your simply couldn’t handle.

“You love your people, and you’ve done nothing but love what i’ve taught you and new people that have come into your life, do not be afraid of failure and don’t be afraid of change, be open to i-“

“Is the Tsahik still here? Oe tìkin srung si” [I need help] You heard a hoarse voice ask, quickly de-attaching from Mo’at to turn towards the back and collect a bowl with the herbs and bandages from before, ready to help whoever it was that was injured at the door. “Wha-“ You stopped dead in your tracks, dropping the bandages in your hand and nearly dropping the bowl as well out of shock.

It was, “Za’yukto, you seem as if you were attacked by a Palulukan” Mo’at joked, not realizing the shock that overtook your body. You weren’t sure what shocked you most, the fact that Za’yukto was here or the fact he was here injured so badly after seeing the bandage around his head, the injury you inflicted. You slowly picked up the bandage and tightened your grip on the bowl filled with herbs, making your way over to Mo’at quickly and setting them to her side, where she made Za’yukto sit. “Y/n can you please help with the bruises inflicted on his back?” She asked, it barely even being a question, quickly pushing you to his backside to which you tensed up. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, swallowing your feelings and putting your work first, soon finishing quickly, as Mo’at soon finished afterwards.

You payed close attention to the injuries he had gotten, knowing well he was obviously attacked, but not by any animal, by a person obviously. Thankfully for you both there weren’t any open wounds, just bruises, which you took note on. The entire time he did nothing but place his head down, in a sense of shame you would’ve guessed, making you more curious, when Mo’at had finished with him however and moved away he began apologizing to you numerous amount of times for what he did and what had happened and asked how your injuries were, you only nodded and showed him your injuries, in the process of healing and if anything doing better than his now, not really wanting to spark conversation with him, thankfully he was smart enough to realize that and spent the rest of the moment in silence.

Soon after you finished and Za’yukto departed, Mo’at sent you on your way,, but not without making sure you took her advice to heart.

Most of it did most of it didn’t, knowing she could tell you as much as she wanted but it wouldn’t really truly leave you, you’d have to deal with your own problems alone, whether present or future, and honestly you prayed that time wouldn’t ever come.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You soon arrived back to Jake’s hut, greeting him and smiling. He soon asked how your meeting with Mo’at was, you ignored the question not wanting to get into the previous conversation you had just had with your god-mother, asking him how he was and what had happened after you left, to which he didn’t want to respond to your question as well, leaving you puzzled.

“C’mere” He said, motioning towards his lap, to which you smiled and obliged, sitting promptly. Soon you guys continued your conversation, sharing short laughs and flirts back and forth, until Jake went up to hold your hand to which you saw his hands bruised and his knuckles busted and dry with blood. “What’s this? What happened to you?” You asked, now turned fully to him, searching in his eyes for an answer, which quickly darted away as he licked his bottom lip. “T‘s nothin, I just had an accident” He lied, his eyes still looking away, scanning the room. You frowned, taking his other hand to see the exact same marks and discoloration of his skin, “Why didn’t you ask me to help you! Let me get some-“

“No, it’s fine i’m okay” He said, gesturing he was fine, flexing his hands, balling them into fists, and wiggling his fingers around to show he was okay, which you didn’t believe. “You were fine this morning when I….” You paused.

He was fine when you left, and so was Za’yukto, you completely forgot you both crossed paths before leaving this morning. All of a sudden you come home and he refuses to talk about what happened when you left, and was lying to your face right now. What didn’t help his case was the fact that bruises were found all over Za’yukto and yet Jake remained untouched, the only bruises being on his hands, the same hands that he must’ve used to inflict the wounds on Za’yu. You weren’t wrong with your hypothetical thinking earlier, whatever had harmed Za’yukto was obviously someone, just not who you expected.

You quickly let go of Jake’s hand, standing up slowly and dusting yourself off, “Za’yukto came by to Mo’at’s hut this morning, asking for assistance.” You stated sharply, looking dead at Jake to which he looked up at you then down to his feet, his tail flicking quickly while his ears lowered softly. “He had so many injuries inflicted into his skin I was scared it would’ve battered his soul. Oeng Tsahik keng hangvur fyape hoan te’ekon ni a palulukan” [Our Tsahik even joked how he was attacked by a palulukan] You clicked quickly, watching Jake’s lips shift, pursing slowly. “Did it feel good? Beating on him like th-“

“Don’t do that.” He cut you off, stating harshly and he hunched over a little, his elbows resting on the plump of his thighs, as he looked up at you, now clearly upset. “Don’t do what Jake? Don’t tell you what you did was wrong? Because it was, and I didn’t ask you to do it, you did it on your own account to make you feel better about yourself.” You spat, pointing at him, he stood up abruptly hands on his hips as he huffed. “I’m suprised he was even able to walk into the ten-“

“I did it for you!” He shouted, throwing his hands in a fuss to which you quickly scoffed at. “You missed the part where I told you I didn’t ask you to-“

“Oh for fuck’s sake y/n, you came into my home sobbing and hardly even speaking to me out of fear, you know better than anyone else that I wouldn’t have just let him get away with i-“

“Oh yeah? Well I had it handled, if you were paying close attention he already had a bandage on his head, from my inflicting, as I told you!” You shouted back, slowly taking a step back when hearing his tone. “I’m not some damsel in distress I can protect myself and deal with my own issues, I’ve been doing it long enough.” You said, placing a hand on your hip to see Jake’s irritated expression. You heard him mumble something under his breath, and to which you quickly asked what he said, and for him to say it loud with his chest, thinking it was some sort of insult.

“I did it because I love you, I’m in love with you y/n, I don’t want to see you hurt, you don’t understand how much it hurts me to see you hurt, trust me kid if I knew this would’ve hurt you I never would’ve called him here in the first place.” He confessed, slowly stepping up to you with his hands out, attempting to take his hand into yours, to which you kept back, refusing.

“Was that supposed to get me to jump back into your arms and act like all is normal?” You asked him, upset at his confession, he furrowed his brows at you taken aback. “What’s that supposed to mean? That my love for you is fake? You got some damn nerve talking about how I feel when I don’t even know how you feel, I could be standing hear arguing with you for no goddamn reason, you probably don’t even love me, hell even like me!” He shouted pointing at you, hissing momentarily and baring his fangs, you bit down on your bottom lip softly, staying silent.

You did love Jake, that you were sure of, even Mo’at was sure of it, and you were sure that you’d expressed it in every way possible to him. He wasn’t wrong however, you never really told him, everything just happened so quickly you didn’t know what to do or say, you couldn’t say anything. Your mouth quite literally stayed agape until you kissed him, which you had hoped closed things up, but it obviously didn’t. Being apart of Jake’s everyday life in the future didn’t scare you, you already had played the role well as his assistant and honestly you enjoyed it, but playing the role as the Tsahik? His wife? Completely different, you couldn’t see yourself fitting into the shoes of your adopted mother and especially not the man you loved, you were mortified. All you could do was look at your feet, a huge lump in your throat and tears prickling the corners of your eyes, you tried to open your mouth, only slightly gasping for air, afraid your words would only do more harm, cursing yourself internally.

“Nga yawne lu oer.” You said softly, but loud enough for Jake to hear, pausing before watching as he came closer to you, now standing directly in front of you. “Doesn’t sound like you mean it.” He deadpanned, searching for some sort of anger to trigger, which he did.

“I have had eyes for you since the first day you landed with Toruk into our sanctuary and pleaded your oath to my mother and to Tsu’tey. My heart has yearned for you ever since I laughed at your complaints to her in the healers tent, since the first day I’ve worked for you, since the first time you ever hugged me or caressed me. I love you Tsyeyk Te Suli.” You said harshly, whipping your head up at him and jabbing him in his chest, clearly taken a back by your confession slowly raising his hand to place over yours, the tears now burning your eyes before falling, heating your cheeks up.

“I would give up so much for you, I owe you so much y/n, I am of your creation, patience, time, care, and love. I wouldn’t be the man I am today, I wouldn’t be the ruler I am today if it wasn’t for you, but I cannot do this alone, I need every piece of y-

“I cannot be by your side, I am not fit to be.” You quickly stated, cutting him off briefly, still not looking up to him, to which changed shortly after he placed his hand under your chin, guiding your head up slightly so you could look at him. He had tears in his eyes. “I cannot be the wife you need me to be and I cannot be the Tsahik our people need, those places are meant to be filled, but they cannot be filled by me.” You cried, now watching as Jake’s ears down-poured, and a tear rolled down his cheek, which he didn’t bother wiping away. “You say you cannot be the wife I need when the wife I need is you, you’re all I need y/n. You aren’t alone and you don’t ever have to be, whatever it is that you’re scared of don’t be, I’ve seen how you’ve interacted with the children and elderly here, how much they adorn you and constantly ask for your assistance, you’d make a wonderful Tsahik, you’re mother has preached it millions of times and has honored you as if you’re gold, calls you ewya’s daughter. I will always be here waiting for you, I will not have another woman, I will not settle for anyone else who is not you. I will not rest until I do have you, you are all I want, all I need, all I have, please.” He begged softly, cupping your face to which you cried more, slowly resting your head on his chest, staining his skin with your tears.

“I’m sorry” You mumbled into his chest, to which he smiled softly, your mumbles tickling him slightly, he kissed your now dry hair and massaged your back slowly, nodding and apologizing as well. “It’s a large responsibility you know? I get why you’re scared, but you can’t possibly do a worse job than me.” Jake joked, earning a faint laugh from you which made him chuckle, thankfully lightening the mood.

Soon after you two made up with one another you remained in physical contact, wiping each others tears and holding hands or hugging constantly, blabbering small nonsense to one another about your relationship and your young undying love, what the future held for you and how you would announce everything afterwards towards the clan and Mo’at, not wanting to let the other go. You helped Jake with his knuckles and to which he thanked you, brushing his hands against yours softly, just to interlock them.

“I wanna take you somewhere, it’ll help you get outta all this.” He said, tapping the side of your head lightly, tightening his grasp, you blinked several times before smiling, asking him where. To your surprise he remained discrete, saying it was a secret and he wanted to make up for the argument that erupted earlier, you just obliged. “As long as I don’t die” You kidded, earning a soft hum in response from him as he grinned at you, kissing your forehead, encouraging it would be the complete opposite of that.

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Jake soon after had you trailing behind him, his hand interlocked with yours as he guided you through the forest, giving you heads up of whether to jump or duck or turn since he had blindfolded you. Being raised within the forests your whole life didn’t help, unfamiliar of the path he was taking you on all you could do was giggle in response, until coming to an abrupt stop.

“We’re here pretty” He said, indicating you to remove your blindfold, which you did eagerly before looking up, the pink and purple luminescent lights quickly indicating where you were, “Vitraya Ramunong” [The Tree Of Souls] You muttered in disbelief, quickly placing your hand up to your lips to hide your large smile.

It had been so long since you’ve been here, you missed it entirely, the feeling, the melodies, the connections and joy it brought you. You quickly thanked Jake, jumping into his arms giddily, to which he wrapped his arms around you, laughing in response.

“Most of the time when I would go to Mo’at for assistance with Olo’ektyan duties she would send me here, to connect with the past one’s or even the past Toruk Makto’s to create a connection with them and ask for advice, t’s helped me a lot.” He said, quickly dragging his fingers between the tendrils and branches of the tree that hung to the blue mossy floors. You smiled at him intently, doing the same and frolicking around, to which he followed you like a small child. You soon decided to follow his advice, making your way to gently grab one of the tendrils while reaching behind you, gently taking your kuru and bringing it up towards the branch and watching as the tendrils of your kuru make the bond with the tree, gasping softly.

Jake just stood there, watching you in awe, the way your skin glowed underneath the lights, and the small smile on your face. The way in particular of how you held your queue, and how your tendrils practically danced towards the branches, creating an effortless bond, smiling softly and standing beside you, repeating your actions and then exhaling softly.

Mo’at was right, the arguments and obstacles that have been placed between you and Jake were meant to make you stronger, inseparable maybe.

This night would prove that for sure.

⭐️🕷️Taglist 🕷️⭐️

@igotmajordaddyissues @dani111 @call-me-doll-face @shadowmoonlight0604 @bigbootahjudy @innercreationflower @taleiak @bunniparadise @ellabellabus07 @anangelwhodidntfall

[foster-the-world]

Aw, man

Last night the district wide school board meeting turned into a debate about Israel. With some claiming the DOE is not doing "enough." Apparently enough means they haven't yet written a email condemning the kidnappings in Israel? With claims they would have already sent a letter if it was black people. I guess the district is waiting on a legal team to approve language. So it should go out today or tmrw. Not good enough for these people. I don't get it. The DOE did send a letter condemning racism and it doesn't do shit to protect my kids. We are still in the most segregated school system in the nation. I am 100% confident the man claiming they "would have already done it if it was black people." made sure his children were in the majority white schools. The anti-racism letter didn't change his desire to segregate his children so why would a anti-semitism letter help jewish students? Writing a letter condemning the kidnappings in Israel is not going to protect my kids one bit nor help the children who were kidnapped. Our district has migrant children pouring in every single week. Let's talk about how we can support them. Letter or no letter I do not care.

I left that meeting to go to our schools PTA meeting. We did spend a good amount of time talking about how we can help the new migrant children who started at our school last week. Apparently 1000 more children entered the district on Friday - set to start next week. My 2nd graders class got three more students last week. Rebel's 1st grade class got two more students. We've been working on our Spanish at home and making sure the girls include them. I'm so glad we are at a school where we teach the kids to welcome their new friends. I have no doubt the uniform, clothing, coat drive will be fully funded - even though we have a school full of low income parents who aren't exactly rolling in the dough.

This morning I'm talking to the Principal about the clothing/Halloween costume drive when she gets a text message and looks horrified. Apparently a lower grade kid told their teacher they can't be around them because they are Jewish and their Mom told them Jewish people are dangerous. So fucked up. Poor baby being taught that hate and poor teacher having to hear it from a student she pours her hard work into.

I'm not really worried about my girls hearing shitty things. As mentioned they are tough and can handle themselves. The toughness does mean they can be jerks but also means they wouldn't hesitate to fight back if someone says shit like that to them. People have said other shitty things to them and they returned with the 6yo version of "go fuck yourself" and were indignant more then hurt. *Obviously they didn't use the f word. They have a solid group of friends in their class who would know to defend them. Although we are going to have a talk about what to say if someone talks negatively about Juduism or if they hear someone say anything racist/prejudice/etc to themselves or any of their friends. We've had the general talk before but probably need to be more specific on the Jewish side of things. Every year my husband and I bring Hanukkah celebration stuff to their class. Everyone is always very receptive. Last year Bee's teacher was Jewish. They've generally had at least one jewish family in their class - although that dwindles in the older grades. We live two doors down from the JCC - so they go to classes there so do get to spend time around Jewish children regardless. This semester they are taking an art class there and we go to the shabbat dinners sometime.

Bee has a Ukrainian girl in her class - well her grandparents are from Ukraine. So Bee came home last year talking about how people are murdering babies "as soon as they come out" in the Ukrainian war. Now this year her little friend is from Israel - so she comes home with more horror stories he hears from home and interprets into six year old language. The world we are giving our children is not okay.

[harginger]

POOKIE BEAR — Arataki Itto

Itto streams with his friends late into the night. When you text him, sweet and loving and funny as always, what would he do except respond?

Wrong choice.

⚠️ WARNINGS — explicit fem reader, use of term girlfriend, one mention of suicide (as a joke/offhanded response), sex jokes + 1 itto milf joke. thats it i tjink?

📧 AUTHOR NOTE — i wrote this in one sitting and then came back to edit like 2 hrs later so this is not very thoroughly proofread. this is dedicated to my bff luci who is itto gf real confirmed (i cant tag them cuz idk their tumblr😭)

🖊 WORD COUNT — 1.0K WDS

On any given TITZ stream, there’s always something going wrong. Thoma’s green screen falls, Zhongli’s mic breaks so badly it sounds like a historical artifact, Childe makes too many sex jokes and falls out of his chair miming penetration… nothing is ever smooth sailing. Itto is well aware of this fact, and regularly contributes to the chaos in every way possible, whether it be screaming like a little girl when the rat gets him in Cheese Escape, conducting Pavlovian mind experiments on Childe, all the way to doing full glam makeup looks on Thoma in the dead of night.

He never thought it’d be unintentionally.

It’s 3:47 AM, and the group is in a lull, scrolling on their phones and occasionally sharing some random thing they found on their Twitter timelines. Thoma’s started playing the full Hannah Montana discography in an attempt to start a digital rave, Childe is playing chess with an online bot (subsequently raging every time he loses), and Zhongli is crocheting while trying to give him pointers.

“Rook to E4.”

“No.” He moves his queen to the other side of the board, which instantly gets trapped by the opposing bishop. A whine escapes his lips as he slams his desk in agony, groaning and rocking back and forth like he’s just experienced the greatest tragedy of his lifetime.

“I told you so.”

As Ordinary Girl comes to a close, He Could Be The One blares through Thoma’s computer, and he shoots out of his chair to dance, encouraging the others to join. They all sit and watch as he breaks into a sad excuse for a disco boogie that looks more like an eighty-nine year old man with scoliosis trying to pick apples. Itto looks down to his phone and smiles, staring at a message from none other than you.

You, his old girlfriend from college. You, who made him feel the happiest he’s ever been. You, who parted ways with him after graduation and you, who started going out with him again after you met in the heart of Inazuma by chance.

You, who makes his cheeks flush red and his smile reach his ears as he opens your contact. It’s not much, but it’s enough to make Thoma’s retirement home moves fade from his mind.

YN!!!!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

ITTo do u wanan do something tmrw❓

SIGMA ITTO😈

YES PELASE WHER DOBU WANNA GO‼️

YN!!!!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

OK SO theres this traveling exhibition at the museum in inazuma city abt like history of teyvat in art. and i kinda wanted to go. SO if ur interested i can send u the link for tickets❣️⁉️

SIGMA ITTO😈

OF COURSE PLZ SEND

“Itto? Itto? Itto…?”

“Huh? Oh. Hi. Hey there.”

“Why are you grinning maniacally at your phone?”

He flushes and stammers for an answer. “Umm, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a photo of your mom in a bathing suit. LOL.”

Childe scratches his head. “My mom has Facebook?”

“Yup. She friended me right back as soon as I requested, little boy. I’m about to be your stepfather…” he trails off, watching as his phone buzzes to life with an audio message from you. “Oh em gee. Oh my god. Your mom just DMed me back. Hold on, I gotta look at this.” Itto’s scrambling for a way to excuse how he shoves his headphones off and clicks rapidly for the mute button, turning his back to the camera as he listens to your voice ring through the speaker, throwing out some gross cheesy pick-up line with a million kissing noises that, horrifyingly so, make his heart flutter.

With surprising speed, he lifts the microphone to his mouth to respond with an equally corny voice message back. “I’ll see you there shnookums, my little pookie bear, my sugarplum pumpkin cupcake princess.” A loud string of cartoon kisses follow and a slight laugh escapes him at the thought of you listening to his antics. He’s smitten. Wholly, entirely, truly consumed by this stupid little crush on you. Is it even a crush anymore, if you reciprocate? It doesn’t matter. He’s here in the middle of the night, smiling like an idiot at the sound of only your voice. Nothing else can explain why he’s acting like a lovesick teenager again, just like when he first met you at freshmen orientation for new LHU students. Your laugh, your smile, the way you looked at him like he was the only other person in the universe. Not looked — look. He’s lucky enough to have you and your loving gazes back.

After Itto clicks send, he leans his head back in his chair with his stupid smirk still on his face, the idea of you laughing at his dumb response running through his mind. The complete radio silence from his friends makes him pause, though. Before, he could hear the faint resonation of The Best of Both Worlds through his discarded headphones, but now it’s like there’s no one there. And his chat is racing at a million miles an hour.

His spine tingles like someone poured cold water on him, slowly putting his headphones back on and switching to Discord to see the shocked faces of his friends staring back at him. Minus Zhongli, who’s still knitting his blanket.

“You seemed a little enthusiastic talking to my mom, huh, Itto?” Childe teases, his jaw half open in shock.

“Who was that? Please? Itto? You can tell me. We’ve been friends since forever. Please.” Thoma’s doing a stupid pouty face at the camera, trying to force his eyes to water for dramatic effect like the dumb emoji he always sees on Twitter.

He feels like killing himself on live. Burying his face in his hands, he mutters out your name so faintly he’s sure none of them will hear. But Zhongli does, and he repeats it to the other two, whose faces light up as they make random animalistic noises. They were there for the entirety of your relationship, but still. It’s embarrassing. Totally not like he cried to them for days when you broke up after graduation, what with him going back to Inazuma and you off to your next big job offer all the way in Fontaine.

“Itto, why didn’t you tell us? We’re your BFFs. Forever and ever and ever. Five-ever. I’m hurt.” Childe whines into his mic, still elated at the idea of him getting back with his university lover.

“Because I knew you guys would do this…”

Thoma grins as he leans in close. “Can you give us more info on your date with your ‘sugarplum pumpkin cupcake princess’?”

Itto hangs up in a flurry of laughter and embarrassment.

[nnnyxie]

It‘s almost my birthdayyyyy

Tmrw!! (25th) so excited but so scared

I‘m turning 16 and it’s scaring me for some reason

Also Idk if you remember the ask abt the two guys I sent once but the 19yo invited me to his birthday half a year prior so now I’m invited to his 20th birthday in July and he‘s gonna party into it??? Sounds so stupid but I just translated it word for word from my native language („reinfeiern“ which means partying into one’s birthday) but yeah I’m excited :) also scared? I swayed off topic and i‘m just ranting atp but I looooveee telling you stuff hehe :3

omg!! if you’re who i think you are— i have your bday in my calendar :3

(that sounds creepy i’m sorry— it’s just that you’ve told me before and i like to keep track of that stuff!!)

ANYWAYS!!

there’s no need to be scared!! 16 is just like turning any other age!! not much changes, at least from my experience. i mean— you might grow into your looks but, that’s about it (though i can’t say the same for myself. unless i have makeup on, i look like a 15 yr old and i’m literally about to be 20).

now onto the ‘reinfeierin’.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!! DO NOT feel pressured to drink either!!! just because everyone else is, doesn’t mean you have to!! and DO NOT take drinks from others. ALWAYS make your own drink. make sure you share your location with friends!! or family!! considering you’re from europe (germany, i presume?), i’m sure he will have bought alcohol for it (also i bring this up as a drinking age thing and not a stereotype).

more on the drinking stuff— while i suggest you DO NOT drink, i was once a curious 16 yr old so i would understand if you did (i hope this doesn’t come across as me condoning it). and if you do end up drinking, please have a safe way to get home. it doesn’t matter how much you drank, you should always have a plan. NEVER stay the night.

now, i’m not sure if marijuana is legal in europe or not, and i’m not sure if he or others would be able to get any— but, if there happens to be some there, i don’t suggest smoking it. though, like drinking, i’d understand if you did. because, again, i was once a curious 16 yr old as well. when it comes to parties, a lot of the time, the marijuana will be laced with something. usually stuff like shrooms or acid (unless that’s just an american thing…).

just like drinking, if you do end up smoking, have a safe way home. and DO NOT smoke a lot. depending on what you use, take either a small/half bowl or just two hits (of a joint/blunt [could also be called a cigarette]). and if it’s edibles, DO NOT eat any.

don’t do this all on an empty stomach either— for both drinking and smoking. it will genuinely fuck you up and make you sick.

if you start to feel ill, call your ride home!! be sure sit near a toilet until they arrive (trust). if you begin to twitch or almost consciously seize, try to stay calm and call your ride home— either have them take you to a hospital or call an ambulance because you could have been drugged or maybe just smoked more than your body could handle. either way, it’s best to get checked.

if you do go to a hospital— since you’re a minor, your parents will more than likely be called. don’t worry about them getting angry because it will only make your state worse. i know this all because when i was 17 i smoked way too much and ended up going through that. i was so afraid my mom would get mad but, instead, she was worried. she was scared for me and just wanted me to be okay. of course, she did scold me but there weren’t any harsh punishments because she knew how dumb teenagers could be.

anyways. like i said, be careful. share your location. make your own drinks. try not to drink alcohol and smoke. have a safe way home.

(sorry my older sister complex came out)

[maryoliverdotcom]

A Shade Darker Than Red: Chapter 8

this is a repost because tumblr, being a jerk as always, decided to delete the former post. if you like this one, you could maybe check out the entire series using the masterlist i'll post in a few minutes.

A week passed by. Paro was eerily quiet when she was with me, and I thought of what I had said that day. Had I really, truly ruined all my chances of saving even our friendship?

A million thoughts rushed through my head as I turned restlessly in bed, staring at the ceiling.

The ceiling of our bedroom was painted with blue fluorescent stickers shaped like stars. Papa had done that. I had asked Maa to take them off if they bothered her, but we never did.

Beside me, Maa tossed in her sleep. They say if you think of someone, they can’t fall asleep. Could she hear my thoughts?

I had nothing to distract myself with. No phone, no book—nothing. Just me, my thoughts and the stars on the ceiling.

A sudden, vivid memory flashed in my mind. We were six. A year had passed since my meeting with Paro. We were running around like hooligans in the park while our mothers talked about work, pados-wali aunties and whatnot. I still remember what Paro was wearing: a frilly, white frock with Minnie Mouse sewn onto its sleeves. The sky was red and so was our laughter, until Paro bent down and ripped a flower right off its stem. “For you,” she had said, clumsily tucking the flower behind my ear. When she touched my earlobe, the flower was white. When she let go, it was red.

Another memory. We were nine. She sat with me on the bed while I rambled on about my latest hyperfixation: dragons. She listened to every single detail I had mentioned and, by the end of the afternoon, showed me a drawing of a wyvern.

Twelve. I was reading The Priory of the Orange Tree, sitting on the windowsill. I took a sip from my milk tea, letting out a contented hum. I wasn’t on the windowsill anymore. I was Ead, pressing a kiss to Sabran’s brow. Sabran was someone who looked uncannily similar to Paro.

An annoying ding! from my phone forced me back to reality. I heard Maa’s grunts and snores: the coast was clear. 

I climbed off the bed, taking care not to put extra weight anywhere that would make the mattress creak. I walked towards the desk and picked up the phone.

WhatsApp: You have 3 messages.

It was Paro. I checked the time: 3:49 a.m. Paro was a morning person, what was she doing staying up all night?

Paro<3:

hi renu are you awake?

—00:27

do you wanna hang out on the roof like we used to? 

—02:01

its ok if you dont wanna. go back to sleep you have a big day tmrw. actually, if ur awake rn i’ll kill you

—03:48

Oh, Paro.

I glanced at Maa, slowly increasing the fan’s regulator. Please don’t wake up soon.

I walked out of the room and closed the door. Thank goodness I’d oiled its hinges last week. 

The main door was locked—opening it meant creating a ruckus. “Shit,” I muttered under my breath. No wait, actually not shit. This meant I’d have to take the old way around. 

Jeez, fourteen-year-old me was fun.

I opened the door to the balcony and hoisted myself up on its railing. It was an easy jump. I tumbled onto the grass, praying that a grasshopper wouldn’t find its new home in my ear. The grass was wet and the air smelled of petrichor. 

I stood up, smoothening my pyjamas. Staying out late at night was a risky thing, especially in our neighbourhood. Plenty of TicTac-shaped pills here and there, and men on the prowl. I didn’t give a damn. I was eighteen and probably feeling some feelings I wasn’t supposed to be feeling. (That’s a lot of ‘feeling’s, I know.) What could possibly hurt me?

A lot of things, I realised, as I walked up to Paro’s house. Like that mad dog Rathode had warned me about. The creepy guy who keeps children in his basement (just a speculation, but when Madhu speculated about something, it was most probably right). An overspeeding motorcycle that could crash into me any minute. My own mother, with her pots and pans, once she realised I was gone.

Oh well, the damage was done. I found myself opening the gate on instinct, as if I knew Paro’s house better than I did my own.

I stepped into their garden, careful not to trample on any beetles—and made my way to the window of the woman who lived below Paro’s flat. Madame Fosco, I called her, in everything but her looks.

The tin shade Madame Fosco had installed last year was probably on its deathbed by now. Rust had made its edges creaky, but Fosco was deaf, anyway. I grabbed onto it and hoisted myself up, finding myself staring right at Paro’s face, our faces a millimetre away from each other’s. She screamed.

I screamed.

My foot slipped and I fell off the tin shade, tumbling onto the grass once again. At this point, I would be surprised if a grasshopper hadn’t found its home in my ear.

“For Whitman’s sake, hush,” I whisper-shouted, if that’s a thing. If it wasn’t, it probably is by now.

Paro peered out of the window, her mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed. 

I shook my head (in case a grasshopper had organised a nice family dinner in my hair) and climbed onto the tin shaft once again, pulling myself onto Paro’s windowsill.

“Come in,” she whispered, switching the lights on. 

I felt comfortable squatting on her windowsill like a failed Spiderman and grumbled as I walked into her bedroom.

Paro switched her phone’s torchlight off. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“What?” I stared at her retreating figure. “What did I do?”

“Why are you still awake?” she snapped. I followed her to the door.

“Why are you still awake and staring out of your window like Oscar fucking Wilde?” I snapped back.

Paro flipped me off while trying her hardest to pull the gates across the door. Sweat shone on her forehead, her eyes illuminated in the moonlight.

“Hold on, let me help,” I offered, gently grabbing her wrist. Paro grumbled, stepping aside.

I pushed the gate back and pulled it in again, keeping the screw in with my thumb. It glided into the opening on the other side, miraculously not making a single noise.

I turned towards Paro. She was staring at my arms.

“What?” I asked her, incredulously. One moment she said she wanted to kill me, and the next she looked at me like I was something she couldn’t quite wrap her head around.

“N-Nothing,” she gasped. My heart fluttered. Dammit, these butterflies in my stomach had turned into fucking bats at this point.

Paro walked up the stairs while I followed her footsteps in the dark. “Just like the old times, huh?” I heard her say.

I grinned. “Just like the old times.”

Paro opened the door to the roof, the tensed line in her jaw glinting in a sliver of moonlight. God, she was as beautiful as ever.

“Come in,” she said, her words echoing in the marble walls.

I followed her to the railings, leaning against the cool surface. A light breeze rippled through, making her hair fly for a brief second. Dear God, she was poetry herself.

“Where are Auntie and Uncle?” I asked, trying to break the silence.

A light breeze caressed my cheeks. “They won’t be back before tomorrow. Business trip,” Paro explained, edging closer to me.

“Oh.” I was suddenly aware of the pen still tucked behind my ear.

Silence.

“So we’re—we’re all alone, then?” I asked her, hoping she wouldn’t hear the slight quaver in my voice.

Paro nodded. “We are.”

Silence, again.

She leaned against the railing. “You’re going away in three weeks.”

I nodded, not quite knowing what to say.

“I asked you a question.” Her voice was cold and harsh, harsher than I deserved. 

“That was a statement,” I snapped. “And don’t use your fucking CEO voice with me.”

Paro frowned. “I’m not.”

“You are.” I glared at her. “And you know it.”

She stared at me, scrutinising my every feature. “I’m sorry,” she finally said, letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry. It’s just been��you’ll be gone—and—”

“I know, it’s okay,” I heard myself murmur, edging closer towards her.

“I—I’ve got that Poe book with me,” she said. “Do you want it now or at the graduation party?”

“Now,” I said, without thinking. “The party will be too loud. And too crowded,” I added as an afterthought.

Paro bit her lip so hard I was scared it would bleed. “Alright,” she nodded. “I’ll get it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

I watched her retreat into the shadows, taking the white along with her. The night was a pool of blood, again.

I hummed. Did she know about the history of ‘OK’? Probably not. I’d tell her. Not knowing things I wouldn’t be able to tell her before we drifted apart wasn’t a good idea. At least she’d be able to tell her children that their Renu Auntie had told her about the history of ‘OK’. Maybe she’d sigh and think of me, again. Words were a certain but clumsy way into a person’s mind. 

Papa had told me that. Maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking of him.

Did Paro know about Jinnah? That Netaji might’ve actually been alive? Did she know that birds came from lizard-hipped dinosaurs? There was so much I had to tell her before I vanished from her mind.

It was pathetic. Scrambling onto every crumb of unrelated information I could find, just to hang onto her thoughts, stay on in her mind for a little while longer.

“I’m back,” Paro said, stepping into the moonlight.

She looked like Aphrodite, the goddess of love born from love itself, in all her glory—clutching a book of Edgar Allan Poe, the letters of which shone in the lamplight or moonlight, that I do not know.

“For you,” she said, handing me the book.

“It’s beautiful,” I gasped as I ran my fingers along the edge of its spine. It was a leatherbound book, The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe written in shiny gold lettering. I opened the first page.

To Renu, it said. Keep me in your mind, always. From, Paro.

I chuckled, flipping through the pages. “Of course I’ll keep you in my mind, Paro,” I laughed. “What a silly thought!”

Paro looked at me, hope faintly glimmering in her eyes. “You will?” Her voice had softened down to a murmur.

I looked at her incredulously. “Well, duh, Paro, I can’t just forget my best friend of thirteen years now, can I?”

Paro’s lower lip trembled. “You promise?”

I smiled. “Always.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

A comfortable silence followed and as we looked at the stars, I knew we were both smiling.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, January 8th, 2024!

11:32am HCI class this morning, really boring still I regret to inform everyone 😂 no tests this semester, just projects. Easy A but a real brain drain. Not letting the brain drain get to me though! Hopped out of that class (9-11am) and now I'm at Panera getting free coffee (it's chilly out!). I'm going to shoe carnival to use a $15 voucher and also other little errands today. I just realized I'm really hungry (I had 2 prebiotic sodas last night and absolutely BLEW UP this morning so I actually don't think there's anything in my stomach tbh haha). I think I should get a snack bc my stomach will pass start hurting soon. Just checking in! New semesters can be overwhelming so I'm gonna keep coming back here.

11:49am have selected bogo bacon mcdoubles for lunch with my coffee :) eating food is good for you! I am very thankful ❤️

2:34pm lol I went down a rabbit hole and I'm about to be off my phone for the rest of the day. But it's worth it bc I looked on Vividseats and found a $20 after tax ticket to see Company at the Straz tmrw. I have heard of this musical before but didn't know what it was or any of the songs. Omg I didn't the last 1.5 hrs listening to the original Broadway cast recording in my car and investigating the plot and I am very excited!! This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about I had no idea that's what I was going to do today and definitely had no idea I was going to see a Broadway show tomorrow night when I freaking woke up this morning, how do I explain to people that this literally is my hobby. Novelty and new experiences is my hobby. Learning about things is my hobby. Listening to new music is my hobby. Reading about how they are being hot and *controversial* about the gender swap in this revival of a 50+ year old play?? I find this fascinating and I am excited AF now about something I couldn't tell you one lick about this morning. This is my favorite thing to do. This is such a perfect example of my idea of a good time.

Do other people never do things like this?? It's spontaneous, but not expensive or dangerous or retarded, it's just spontaneous and interesting to me personally.

4:05pm I actually went to shoe carnival and used the coupon in their email and got a pair of yellow box sandals for $7 even! Just got home, ate a granola bar and am about to take a nap.

11:45pm I want to text him. I'm ALSO FIVE DRINKS IN LMAO. OFC I wish I had a man to fuck rn. I GOT MYSELF DINNER AND DRINKS!!!! NOW it feels like I've been wined and dined and primed to FUCK. But it's literally just me.... I wined and dined myself bc it's the first day of school, things are stressful and they're bound to be more stressful going forward. I wanted to treat myself before I get depressed AF. Is there another man/ woman here?? Fuck NO. I got ME, MYSELF and I BITCH. Dinner was a delicious pizza from king state and a cocktail and 4 shots while I watched "Hair" so yeah ofc I'm COMFORTABLE AND TURNED ON THAT'S LITERALLY ALL IT FUCKING TAKES I'M NOT DIFFICULT BY ANY FUCKING MEANS. one day there will be a man that understands, but until then it's just me, I got me, I know me better than anyone else. All the men I've met are JUST A DELUSION IN MY MIND BRO I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I *CLEARLY* HAVE NOT MET HIM YET and that's ok,bc ..... I got ME.

Hopefully this rant has dissuaded me from texting him bc wtf he's SO FUCKED UP EVEN IF HE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME HE'S UNABLE TO FUCKING DO SHIT ABOUT IT. HE'S A BUM ASS BITCH AND CAN'T MEET YOUR STANDARDS!!!!!!! YOU MEET YOUR STANDARDS WHERE YOU ARE EVERY DAMN DAY. HE FUCKED UP AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. LITERALLY LET HIM ROT ONG BC HIS DUMBASS PICKED A LIL BITCH OVER YOU (A STRONG ASS HO WHO DOESN'T TOLERATE BULLSHIT!!!!!). THE END OMG.

1:34am why TF am I still awake ooooorhhg I am killing myself fr.

[everythingmatters]

i feel like a 6 year old today

[milkiane]

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL; jj maybank

summary: after drifting apart during summer, you and jj hang out one last time before you drift apart for good.

warnings: profanities, angst :’) // gif credits to @television

word count: 2362

jj maybank

|| hey, this is jj. do u wanna hang out tmrw?

you swore that your screen was going to crack with the intensity of your stare. what did jj maybank want to do with you now?

you were best friends a few months ago, just before kiara came back from her kook year. he literally went bon voyage and left you in the dark after that.

you turned your phone off and stared at your ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark stars that jj gave you were staring right back at you.

you could always ignore his messages as he did with yours, but you knew that it wasn’t in your nature to be that petty. you knew that you’d feel bad about it sooner or later, so you hesitantly grabbed your phone and read his message over and over again.

you typed and deleted a reply too many times until a knock on your door distracted you from your chagrin.

“hey, have you packed yet?” your brother poked his head through the door. “principal smith sent me the flight details already, ferry to the mainland airport in two days.”

“no, can you help me?” you asked, sitting up from your bed.

“yeah, ‘course,” he nodded, walking deeper into your room. “where’s your suitcase?”

you and your brother prepared everything you needed that night, leaving the text message for you to fend for later.

except you didn’t. you totally forgot about it after finishing and were left to deal with it the next day.

you had one last table to serve before you were allowed to leave, and it seems that the universe had fun picking on you and chose jj to be your last customer.

you were about to turn on your heels and leave when he caught sight of you. he managed to grab ahold of your arm before you could get away from him. “hey,”

you shook off his hold on you and ignored him, walking away to collect your things.

“oh, come on, y/n,” jj sighed, grabbing the bouquet of wildflowers he picked along the way. “look, i got you some wildflowers, i know how much you loved them.”

“what, is kie too busy to hang out with you?” you snapped, stopping abruptly in front of him. “is that why you wanted to hang out, jj? i mean, after all, i’m just your rebound.”

“don’t be mean, y/n,” jj furrowed his eyebrows. “you were-”

“no,” you interrupted him, poking your finger on his chest. “you know what’s mean? pushing your friend aside the second your old girl friend returned. that’s mean.”

jj stuttered out strings of words as he watched you walk away. he was about to give up when he remembered something. “teletubby.”

you stopped in your tracks, and jj knew he’d be able to get you to agree now.

“what?” you asked, slowly turning around to face him.

“you heard me,” jj’s lips curved into a smirk. “teletubby.”

“you can’t do that anymore, not after what you did.” you clenched your jaw, folding your arms in front of you.

he squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a breath. “i know what i did, y/n, that’s why i’m here to make it up to you.” he opened his eyes and let his gaze fall into your own. “plus, you already used the word. remember when-”

“alright, alright,” you stopped him, applying pressure to your eyes with the palm of your hands. “just… wait for me outside.”

jj cheered in victory and made the move to kiss your cheek but stopped himself before he could. it was harmless, at least, it used to be. instead, he awkwardly rocked on his heels before patting your shoulder.

you sighed as you entered the staff room, opening your locker to get your extra clothes.

you tried to convince yourself that you didn’t know why you agreed. you could easily refuse his offer, you didn’t owe him anything, but you agreed anyway because you know that despite the pain and anger that you’re feeling, your friendship with jj still meant a lot to you.

jj pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and grinned at you when you walked out of the restaurant. he handed you the bouquet of wildflowers which you reluctantly took from him.

neither of you spoke for a good few minutes, and you didn’t know whether you preferred that or talking. you basked in the warm sun of the outer banks, breathing in the salty air that the breeze carried.

“so… how are you?” jj asked, looking over at you with a small smile.

“get me drunk and then ask me again,” you replied dryly, observing as the two of you walked in sync.

“right.” he nodded curtly, before looking up from the ground. “well, we’re here.”

you let out a soft sigh as the view of the beach from the small cliffside came into view. “i haven’t been here in a while.” you could feel jj’s curious look but you kept your gaze straight. “i always came here after you ran off back to the pogues, i was kinda hoping you’d show up every single time… but you never did, so...”

jj swallowed the lump in his throat. “well, i’m here now,”

“but where were you when i needed you?” you snapped, feeling your throat close up. “you promised me that you’ll always be by my side, especially when things get rough, but you just got up and left me in the past, jj.”

“i-”

“this is a bad idea, i never should have agreed.” you shook your head, sniffing as you turned around.

“no,” he grabbed your upper arm and pulled you against his chest, letting you cry all your suppressed pain. he wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as he whispered words of consolation.

“no! that was before you fell down the boat,” you laughed, trying hard not to snort as you tipped back the bottle of wine in your hands. “and- and then, you got so mad at me because your beer fell with you.”

the both of you laughed at the memory, feeling yourself slowly slip away into insobriety. you convinced yourself that if you tried hard enough, you can see the both of you getting lost in the moment. moments that are slowly fading into memories.

your laughter died down gradually, slipping into the comfortable silence you missed so dearly. it made you think about all the times where you thought that you had him. you didn’t exactly know in what way, but all that mattered before is that you had him there with you.

you remembered all of the days where you were still changing for the better. the same days where you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t falling for your best friend.

“i missed hanging out with you, jj,” you sobered up almost immediately at the sudden sentimentality you felt. “it has always been you and i before summer started, y’know? we used to do it all together, and then this whole thing happened, and suddenly i feel like we’re strangers.”

jj pursed his lip, taking a sip of wine as he listened to you. he was ashamed of his actions, and if he could go back in time and undo the damage that he’s done, he would do it within a snap of his fingers.

“jj, the only way i've been knowing how you’ve been doing is through gossip. how do you think that made me feel?” you asked him, momentarily looking over at him before returning your gaze back at the setting sun. “but i guess i’ve made a mistake by being so dependent on you i’ve never made the move to make any friends. i just... kinda assumed we’d always be together, that’s why i didn't know what to do when we weren’t.”

there weren’t any more tears for jj to wipe off your face, but he could feel the raw pain that was radiating off of you. even though you were right next to him, he felt as if you could not be more far apart.

“and i just— i liked you, jj. i love you,” you confessed, fiddling with the matching bracelet you made with jj. he never took his own off either. “i loved you before you were even the life of the party, or john b’s best friend, or even kiara’s possible boyfriend.” you sighed, looking at the dumbfounded look on his face. “i loved jj maybank. the ridiculously pretty boy who sucks at mario kart.”

when he didn’t reply, you continued. “do you know how difficult it was to be the best friend who watched from the sidelines?” you chuckled humorlessly, “if i’m even allowed to still call myself that.”

“y/n…” jj quavered, reaching out to grab your hand, but you pulled back before he could even touch it.

“no, i know. i know you don’t like me back, and i’m sorry that i said it at a time like this but i just… i had to get it out there if i want to move on from you.” you sniffled. “but i want you to know that you deserve to be loved wholeheartedly, jj. you deserve the whole world, the whole fucking stars, and the moon.”

you lived for the days where you were longing for jj to be yours because for you, wanting him was more than enough. you lived for the hope of it all, but right now, you knew that you needed another hope to live for.

“and… you don’t have to say anything, okay? i just… can you just… just be my best friend and hug me right now? please?”

because jj will always be your best friend if nothing else.

jj let out a shaky breath and opened his arms out for you. “yeah…”

“ferry to the mainland boarding now!” the man in uniform hollered, opening the gates towards the ferry.

“well, this is it.” you smiled softly, grabbing your bags as your brother stood up.

“believe it or not, i think i’ll really miss your annoying ass.” your brother grinned, wrapping his hands around you. “god, mom and dad would have been so proud of you.”

“stop,” you whined. “you’re gonna make me cry before i could even get on board.”

“ferry to the mainland boarding now!”

“you should get going if you want to have a good seat,” he advised, squeezing you one last time.

“yeah, right,” you took a deep breath, pulling away from him. you looked at the large ship before turning back to him. “you’ll visit me, right?”

“of course i will,” he mused. “agh, come here.” he pulled you back and planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “stay safe for me, alright? call me at least once a week.”

“got it.” you nodded. “you’ll do the same for me?”

“i promise.” he affirmed, before giving you a light push. “go on, now. don’t want our dear scholar running late now.”

you laughed, waving at him one last time before joining in the people boarding the ferry.

jj was walking along the main streets of the town, fiddling with his phone as he thought of you. he didn’t know how to feel after your confession. jj has always loved you, but he wasn’t quite sure if it would go to the same extent as your love for him.

but he wanted to see where your relationship stands in his life. so he pressed on your contact to send you a message, but before he could even type up a response, his ears perked up at the sound of your name.

“have you heard? y/n l/n got into that international scholarship in new york?” one of the students from kildare, jj recognized, said to her friend.

“for real? shit, she’s lucky she gets to leave this shithole,” she replied, sipping on her slurpee.

“true, my mom said she saw her and her brother at the dock a while ago.”

jj cursed at the sudden realization, he didn’t care if the dock was far from where he currently was, but he started running towards it anyway. he didn’t know what he would do or what he would say to you, but all he knew now is that he needed to get to you before you could leave.

but as soon as he got there, he realized that he was too late as he watched your ferry leave.

you fiddled with your bracelet, noting every color and bead that jj put together for you. it had his initials on it, as it did with his. you wonder if you did the right thing and didn’t say goodbye to him.

you knew that if you did, one look at his ocean eyes and you were done for. you wanted to move on from him, have a fresh start away from the outer banks, but the nagging voice in your head stepped on your conscience. you knew that it was unfair to him, even though he did the same thing to you just months prior.

“y/n!”

you snapped your head towards the source of the sound, wondering who could be calling you. no one on the ferry seems to have been paying any attention to their surroundings.

“y/n!” jj tried once more, wanting you to turn around and look at him. you were wearing his hoodie, he noticed. he wondered if you knew that it was his.

you turned around to look back at the dock and saw jj standing on the edge, unable to do anything as the ferry moved farther and farther away.

he hoped that you’d call out for anyone on the ferry to turn back around just to come back to him, though he knew it would be impossible, but right now, he’s just living for the hope of it all.

but instead, the last thing that you gave him was a sad smile with teary eyes that matched his own as you left him standing at the dock, heartbroken and alone; just like you had been.

[papuhater]

“Your eyes are so pretty.”Baji x FEM!Reader

13: “Your eyes are so pretty.”

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Baji x FEM!reader

TW: Bad words! Baji being a chaotic dude, And a lot of cringe, this is my first one shot!

Baji comes across the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen! Can you blame him for stopping you and asking you out?

Intimidated, that’s how you felt by this guy who stopped you, you were sure you haven’t done anything wrong to anyone in this period of time, there was absolutely no reason to be afraid of him! Why was he going to do someting? He had long black hair and an fierce face, he was very tall. How did you get on this uncomfortable silence? 

You were minding your own business until you felt a hand on you back when you turned around to see who was there, your eyes met intense brown ones and now you’re in a staring contest. The guy opened his mouth, then shut it again, he looked like he was trying to formulate coherent words. You were in a rush, you couldn’t wait for this guy to get his shit clear, you had places to go.

“Um, In what can I help you?” you said with a nice and polite aura while giving a closed eyed smile, he gulped, looked to the floor and he bowed down and screamed with all of his lungs;

“PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH ME!” all of the bystanders turned their heads to where you both were standing, you felt flustered. 

“HUH?!”

“I SAID PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH ME!” yelled again the man

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!” you tried to reason with him, but he wasn’t going to budge any time near. 

“I’M BAJI KEISUKE!”

“I’M Y/N L/N! WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!?” you tried to match his chaotic energy, but failed

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“Then why don’t we calm down?” the man stared at you and then breathed like if trying to calm himself down

“Ok.”

“So....then why do you want to go on a date with me? Why did you stop me?” you asked, he looked to the side and you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks 

“Your eyes are so pretty..I feel that if I let them go, I will never feel the warmth and happiness I felt the first time I looked at them..Can I at least have your number?” he asked shyly, you felt heat run to the apples of your cheeks, you pondered for a minute, until you reached your final choice.

“Alright.” his face light up and showed a smile of a five year old seeing a tree full of presents in christmas day

“YES!” 

“STOP SCREAMING!”

After you and the weir- I mean Baji, changed numbers, you went home and laid in your bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about the sweet words Baji told you, Did he mean them? You certainly wish he did. Your thoughts were interrupted by your phone chiming, you rolled over to the nightstand were your phone was charging. You had received a message from an unknown number, their profile picture was a black cat

UNKNOWN NUMBER

hey

thsi is baji 

You laughed at his orthography, he wrote like a six-year-old whose mother had gave them a phone. 

You changed UNKNOWN NUMBER  to ‘Baji’

‘Baji’ changed Y/N to ‘pretty gril of teh stret’

pretty gilr of teh strit

Hey Baji! 

Baji

were would u like too go 4 our date 

You stared at the phones screen, faint blush on your cheeks, and you started typing 

pretty gilr of teh stret  

How about the park? Sounds cliche tho

Baji

yes

les go ther B)

how about tmrw?

pretty gilr of teh stret  

great :)

gtg

Baji

ok cya

You stared at the screen for a minute

“...”

‘pretty gilr of teh park’  changed ‘Baji’ to ‘Baji <3′

a/n: Having to write badly on purpose on Baji’s part, was physically painful.

[alluringjae]

all yours - jjh

all yours | it’s a royal order

⤑ summary: just how long will you remain stubborn to your feelings over your bodyguard?

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 2.7k

⤑ genre: romance, fluff, mini angst, suggestive (soft dom jaehyun aww) | bodyguard!jaehyun, princess!reader, slight enemies to lovers!au, modern royal!au (where south korea remains under monarchial power)

⤑ warnings: mentions of family problems, explicit language

⤑ author’s note: recently, i rewatched the princess diaries and it just sparked me to write this! this story is a prequel to it’s a royal order (which hit 500+ notes btw like OMG THANK YOU!!) though they can be read independently! honestly though, who wouldn’t feel week for bodyguard!jaehyun?? oh btw, i’ll be uploading my masterlist tmrw!!

anyways, enjoy!!

this is semi-edited hehe

⤑ leave me some feedback or hellos!

Parties held by the kingdom weren’t new. In fact, you’ve been trained for them all your life.

Proper etiquette, learning the waltz, and staying in trend with fashion, you’d say you’re a pro at it. That was until your rebellious ways got the best of you, and so you ditched attending them to be with your peers at the club.

Not your best phase frankly.

This upcoming ball, your presence was mandatory. It was your father’s birthday, and it’s been years since he held a huge party for it. The last being with your mother months before her accident. He also figured that since you’re in the midst of fixing your public image, you must show up to this event and socialize again with everyone. Fix old feuds, too.

If he requested you to this before your rebellious phase stopped, you would’ve flat out rejected it with explanations as to how much you despise the kingdom. However, ever since he assigned Jeong Jaehyun as your bodyguard, you’d give it a shot. Once a tough pill to swallow, but Jaehyun truly aided you in getting your act together again.

Yes, he had drastic measures since he worked with your father in the past. But after more time spent with each other, you could say that you’d entrust him with your life. Unlike your past gullible bodyguards, Jaehyun didn’t fall for any of your tricks, keeping it professional at all times.

You respected his views on life the way he respected your personal space. Often, you’d drop the formalities. After all, the age gap between you two wasn’t so wide. Within the boundaries of professionalism and friendship, there was a turning point where you’ve sheltered these peeping feelings for him from his vicinity.

Although you viewed him initially as your bodyguard, you’ve fallen for him as a man over time.

Even attempting to deny it when your childhood best friend Hyejin called you out on it, you’ve eventually accepted it that, indeed, you were enamored by him. It’s tricky, and you’re aware that he may turn you down, so you kept it within yourself. You wanted him by your side for however long, by and behind the public eye.

Enough about him, you’re about to step down the stairs that will lead you to the entrance of the main ballroom with the help of your maids. The nerves from last night haven’t ended, and you’re frightened to make a fool of yourself. You were seconds away from backing out if it weren’t for Jaehyun stepping in between the bedroom door of your father and you.

“He’s done so much for you, (Y/N). Don’t do this now.”

“I’m going to be verbally attacked by everyone, and I’m scared shitless, Jaehyun.” As your hand almost turned the knob open, Jaehyun pulled it away rather harshly.

“You have so many people to prove wrong, (Y/N).” He toughly stated, his captivating brown eyes directly looking at yours. Deep down, Jaehyun believed that you’re absolutely capable of anything and he’ll do his best to bring out the best in you. “You’re not going to be a failure like they expected.”

Almost like magic, if he asked you anything with those pretty orbs, you’ll just do it. It’s things like this when you’re infatuated one-sidedly. “Will you be there to watch over me?”

He chuckled, releasing your hand. “Of course, your highness. I am your bodyguard and friend, so I’ll always be there for you.”

Jaehyun, alongside the other bodyguards of your brothers, were inside already. Secretly, you longed for his presence after your father made an additional and sudden request. It was for you to be his first partner during his birthday waltz, meaning you’re also entering the venue together.

In a white and gold tule gown custom made by the kingdom seamstress, the gold crown pinned on your hair felt as heavy as your role. With a pair of designer high heels saved for these events, you tolerated the mild discomfort for the sake of your father. Meeting him in front of the main doors, the amusement in the emphasized beauty you glowed with enlarged his heart.

You were his only daughter and the youngest child in his family. It’s a hidden given, but he has the softest spot for you as you are the remaining identical piece of his beloved wife. Even if he advised you those strict rules, he was doing what he can to protect your family.

“Shall we?” He stretched out his arm for you, which you unhesitatingly took.

“I’m ready when you are, Father.”

On cue, the giant doors in front opened and the huge audience inside turned their way to pay attention to you two. From royals, influential figures, working staff, to those personally invited by the king, none of them could take their eyes of the both of you, though mostly you. Most of them chattered quietly amongst their groups, fawning over your bloom and how much more you resembled the late queen.

The music from the small orchestra played as soon as you paraded inside with poise, sharing a pure smile with everyone. This was your tiny way of reestablishing your image of innocence and revamped empowerment, not letting anyone harm you in any way ever again.

Curtseying in front of your father, you breezily waltzed with him on the main floor. With authentic bliss that even the audience could sense, you only recalled stepping on top of his feet when you were a young girl, still learning the ropes of the kingdom. Now, you’d say you’re capable of the basics and anticipate what’s to come. Whatever ruckus your grandmother queen attempted to throw at you, you’ll fight your way through them. She never liked you from the start, and painful to accept at first, you could care less now.

By the sinister glimpse she gave from her throne, you only bowed back with a carefree smirk as your father danced with another royal figure.

You are the bright future of the kingdom, while she’s part of the problematic present of it that you’re trying to redo with your brothers and people.

From the back with the other guards, Jaehyun marveled at your formal and sophisticated appearance. Even if this wasn’t the first time he’s seen you dressed up like this, it’s the elegance and respect you freely gave to the audience. He’s always found your beauty unmatched by others, but now, he’s undeniably whipped for you. From your jokes to your kind-spirited nature, he reminded him of the youth he missed out on.

It’s not like he’s strict because he wanted to, but he had to be the strong one capable of it all. But if it weren’t for your pep talk telling him that it’s okay to be emotional and weak, he loosened up. That’s how you two dropped the formal talk in private, going as far as roasting the awful royals and sneaking out to the city with disguises.

He knew he had a mission with you, but doing those kinds of activities was in his process.

Youth simply comes and goes, never to return.

Yuta, his close friend within the security department, wasn’t sluggish to the concealed liking of his friend for you, his elbow nudging him on his side. “Go dance with her, she’s getting shy there.”

During nights like this, Jaehyun reverted to his professional stance. Surveying the surroundings, especially when you’re within the vicinity, he lets his logic and physical skills take charge. He stood his ground, nudging back at his friend. “Shut up, we’re on duty right now.”

“If you’re going to continue hiding those feelings, you’re going to lose her.”

“I don’t have a clue about what you’re talking about.”

Training his eyes more clearly, no one dared danced with you yet. It started to feel uncomfortable, rubbing your palms together. These kinds of events, everyone would absolutely do anything to dance with you. Yet, no one bothered. Perhaps, it was intentional by the grandmother queen as you noticed the sides of her mouth quirk into a menacing grin. She just thrived on making your life hell.

But no, you’re not going to let her win again. You’re not the same problematic teenager she messed around with emotionally. As if the heavens heard your plead, a recognizable figure strolled between the crowds to reach the front. With his dimpled smile, you beamed calmly. No matter what situation you’re in, he always found his way to you. You’ve been accustomed to all sorts of his attires, formal and informal, but it’s the handsome way he looked with his hair pushed back and his black suit hugging his figure just right.

Indeed, you’re quite lucky to have someone like him.

The grandmother queen fumed in her seat, but that didn’t matter.

As Jaehyun courteously bowed, you gracefully curtsied in return. Coming closer, he straightened his posture as he planted a hand on your back, while one of yours on his shoulder. Colliding your remaining hands together, he led you first by leaning forward. For someone who said he never danced in his life, he did know direction and passion.

“I thought waltzes weren’t your thing.”

“Spending time with you is, though.”

The butterflies in your stomach raged inside, affecting the normal pace of your heart. Especially with his dearest gaze on you and his fingers grazing behind you, you could only wish he felt the same way.

Yuta had a blunt way with his words, successful in urging Jaehyun to rescue you from the pressure of the grandmother queen. Knowing all too well your hatred for her, he reassured you to always save you from it. But honestly, he’s been dying for a dance with you. He chose to end his stubbornness this time.

Screw the nosy eyes of the audience, wherein some disliked your current joy. The both of you brightened the room from especially the eyes of your father and brothers, watching innocently at your dancing.

He spun you a bit, landing on his chest with a fit of giggles. Deemed improper because you could drop your crown, but whatever. It’s been so long since you’ve felt on top of the world like this.

More people decided to join the floor, fond of the lovely music. Unknown to you, Jaehyun had other plans. Now or never, he thought. As the space started to enclose around you, he sustained eye contact with you. With a trusting glint, he held onto your hands and brought you out of the busy dance floor.

The balcony was more private, vacant even since everyone inside was either dancing, socializing, or drinking endless rounds of champagne. The fountain in the backyard worked actively, with some lights wrapped around some vines of plants in the garden down there, the night sky complimented everything. You’ve had your share of late-night talks here, but the fully lit garden made everything more remarkable.

Pausing to gape the scenic area, Jaehyun stood by your side and glancing at your visage. He’s been so hard-headed about his feelings, afraid to lose what you have. But also, if he never told you, he’ll lose his mind. He’ll only pray for the best, preparing himself for the worst.

How can one look effortlessly beautiful just by examining the garden, his body leaning over the rails? Not to mention how a singular curl fell in front of his forehead, you mentally geared yourself for what you’re doing next. As the night sky twinkled the evening with the breathtaking stars, so did your infatuation for him.

“Why did you come after me?” You questioned by his side, making him turn his head at you. The loss of count you’ve had for the times he mentioned that he didn’t enjoy the ambiance of these kinds of parties. So many fake and snobbish personalities, he’d comment every time.

“I’m quite sure you needed saving from the grandmother queen, plus I overheard from Yuta that she bribed most men not to dance with you tonight.” He responded truthfully, pitying how you had to cope with the treacherous leadership of the grandmother queen at a very young age. “I only did what I must as your bodyguard, Your Highness.”

“But what if that’s not what I want you to be?” You mustered your strength as you met his stare, his eyes filled with confusion as he scrunched his brows.

“What else do you want me to be then? I am your bodyguard, as ordered by your father and I don’t want to work with anyone else besi-”

An overthinker who rambled on and on, something in you snapped and couldn’t take it anymore. He was dumbfounded as your lips sweetly captured him for a delicate kiss, cutting him off entirely. Scarily enough, you anticipated him to push you off right away if it weren’t for his hand snaking around the nape of your neck. Luring you in deeper, your eyes shuttered by instinct and your soft hands tugged on the collars of his blazer.

Your mind was in frenzy, in disbelief of such an action. Could it be?

For you to make the first move so drastically, it only ended Jaehyun’s fears. There was nowhere else he’d want to be in the party as long as you’re by his side. Having you around his arms like this, the relief washed him over like the raging sea.

Literally enough, fireworks from the garden blasted to the sky for that extra bang of your father’s birthday like the emotions intensifying the both of you. From the loudness, it shocked your ears, halting your intimate moves first. Your eyes widened, strands of your hair untightened from the hairpins, and your knuckles reddened. At least your crown remained intact, not wanting the royal stylist to blame you.

Jaehyun attentively gazed as you wiped your lips, lost of its added pink complexion from your lipstick. As his fingers dabbing on his lips, he’s thankful not to find a patch of it or else questions would arise about it from the security team. It’s definitely not the first time a guard gets scolded for unprofessional behavior with elite guests.

In terms of those rules, he crossed beyond it. But nothing could overpower this delight. Without a single word yet, the feelings he contained were returned.

Eye to eye, you two smiled with endearment as the familiar warmth on your cheeks grew. Of all the men in the past you’ve stupidly entangled yourself with, never did you bother to strike the first piece of the board. Yet Jaehyun broke the norms you’ve established, and there’s nothing you could protest about it.

Right as Jaehyun pulled you in by your waist, craving another kiss like the first, groups of people begun to exit the ballroom to watch the fireworks show. Taking his hands, the two of you skipped away before anyone caught you and headed downstairs to the private open patio. The rush of excitement livened your bodies even if you could trip on your heels at any moment.

The music from the orchestra was still audible, hearing the oohs and aahs of the audience above. But now, you’re too spellbound by the dominant romance Jaehyun presented in his succeeding kiss. Cornered against the wall, you’ve let down your crown and let him have his way with you. An animalistic moan was released from your precious lips as he raked his hands through your sides and back, while yours removed his black blazer down to the cemented floor.

“No way this is happening.” You gasped through kisses, undoing a few buttons of his formal white top.

“It is, (Y/N).” Jaehyun peppered your neck with supple pecks, giving you all the admiration you wholeheartedly deserved. “It’s only you that I’ve ever wanted to be with.”

You sighed with gratitude, your index finger leveling his chin to come face to face with you again. Even when you’ve been doing so much naughty things, he still managed to look effortlessly like a god. This moment was beyond all you’ve wished for, and if the kingdom wasn’t going to have it, you’ll do what it takes to fight for it.

“I’m all yours, Jaehyun.”

[foster-the-world]

Seven!

I applied for roughly 20 jobs yesterday. So far, I've heard back from seven - 12 hours later. I purposefully chose a career with a lot of opportunities. I didn't want to worry about paying for a degree and then be stuck begging for jobs. I'm so glad there are a lot of opportunities - even though I have certain restrictions because I need to work around my kids schedule. For example, I'm not looking at any jobs that require weekends. However, seven calls is overwhelming. I don't get the vibe the hiring process would be particularly difficult. I think they just want warm bodies with a nursing license. Which also makes me nervous because I 100% need more training like all new grad nurses.

I def want to work. I'm ready. I want to feel productive. I want to use the skills I worked hard to learn in nursing school. I've enjoyed volunteering at the kids school but want to step back somewhat. That being said I don't know how me working a full time job is going to work with our full time schedule. Today my husband went to work late because baby boys class had a Halloween parade. Then he's leaving early to join us for Halloween. Tmrw we have baby boys IEP meeting. It's on zoom so he should only miss an hour of work. Thurs all three kids have parent/teacher conferences. School lets out at 11 for the conferences - so if I was working we'd have to figure out childcare. Friday he's taking at least 2.5 hours off to take baby boy to OT. I have to take the girls to their activities at the same time and he wanted to see how the OT works at least once. Halloween is an extra busy week but these events are constant. One of us could skip any of this - beside the IEP meeting where its important we both understand whats going on. Luckily he's been at his job forever (20+ years) and he can make up the time at night, etc. Post covid world sucks in many ways but turning many events to zoom has made life easier if you have to work. My old job I could have easily slipped away for any of these things. Nursing will most likely be different. Anyway many people with much fewer supports/resources make it work. We will figure it out. I just don't want to make us miserable while doing it.

The long term goal is a per diem nurse job - where I take all of December, July and August off. I like working but also like having school breaks off. Financially we can make it work because my husband's job comes with strong/free healthcare. I don't think it will be difficult to find a job like that once I get experience but it is a few years out.

[jeonqquk]

permission to date | jjk

pairing | jungkook x reader genre | RICHHHH!JK , crack n then angst jskskdk idk it’s super weird , lame attempts at serious shit wc | 996 words summary | the one where jungkook seemingly forgets the fact that adults could make decisions for themselves notes | the irony of the fact that jk is a richboi in the fic but a prisoner in the header✨aNYways i just had to use this title lmao hope you enjoy btw tags weren’t woking, i’ll check it out tmrw morning first!

feedback is always welcome!

“We don’t need permission to date, Jungkook.”

You exasperatedly sigh, lolling your head back onto the couch and take in a deep breath. Beside you, Jungkook is not as relaxed and fidgets on the soft sofa, playing with his fingers which is a habit of his you’ve grown accustomed to. He did this a lot when he was stressed about something, would shift uncomfortably again and again until you asked him what was bothering him.

“Y/n, you don’t understand.” He turns to face you, eyebrows furrowed and you groan, “I don’t need to, Kook. You’re literally a 23-year-old CEO of your own company and don’t know if you’re allowed to date a girl?”

“It’s not that exactly..”

He nods, hesitantly and you can’t help but find his irrational fear funny. You try to stifle but let out a laugh, and watch as Jungkook widens his eyes, scandalised at the prospect of you finding his dilemma even the slightest bit laughable.

“Oh, this funny to you?” He sneers, although there is no malice present in his tone. You play along, teasingly nod and watch his facial features contort from distressed to cheeky. His lopsided grin and twinkling eyes only serve to prove you right further that he was thinking of something.

And that something could never be any good.

Jungkook moves closer to you on the couch, and you eye him suspiciously, unaware of what was going on in his brain.

“Let me give you something to laugh about.” He doesn't give you any time to digest his words before he’s tackling you to the floor, fingers digging into the flesh of your stomach and he straddles you, restricting your movement.

Jungkook tickles you like there’s no tomorrow, certainly giving you something to laugh about as he totally disregards your pleads to stop and keeps going. “Take that.” He’s unwavering as you try to move him away but the force of your laughter has you backing down, hands moving of their own accord to gt aay from his tactics.

You try to catch your breath between the loud laughs, “Jungkook! Stop i- Stop!” He ignores your words, or rather screams, of protest and continues tickling you with renewed vigour. You’re howling with laughter at this point, soft chuckles that were meant to keep your dignity forgotten, hands desperately trying to push Jungkook’s devilish ones away.

“O-Okay! I’m sorry!” You pant out in between the giggling and he pauses, “What’d you say, baby?” When you don’t respond, too busy catching your breath, he resumes ticking your stomach, laughing himself as you thrash around uselessly in his hold.

“I-I said I’m sorry!” You finally manage to get out, still trying to push him off and he finally relents, getting off you and moving to lie down beside you on the carpeted floor.

Jungkook’s white formal shirt is crumpled, both your hair a mess and you blame none other than the man in front of you for that.

“I hate you.” You turn to face him, breathing heavily and he moves a strand of hair away from your face. You shrug him off, resting sideways on your elbow and ask him, “Still don’t know if you can date me?”

Jungkook shuts his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t want to, Y/n, you know that.” You nod. Jungkook and you are practically already dating at this point, you do all the couple-y stuff but the only thing left is making it official to the public.

He’s made it pretty clear to you that he wants to be with you. But, you don’t get why he was so afraid of finally revealing it to the media. He’s had his reasons, you guess, but it had been too long and you wanted answers.

“I really want to tell everyone about us, Y/n, I really do. I just don’t know how the public will take it. You know what’s happened to partners’ of other celebrities because of fans and I don’t want that to happen to you as well.”

His words sink in, and you completely agree with his concerns. If you had been in Jungkook’s place, the same worries would have weighed you down. However, he doesn’t need to worry about others’ opinions affecting you. If there’s one thing he should’ve learn about you after being together for almost a year- it’s that you don’t give two flying shits about what others think of you. It’s safe o say that you’re as independent as a woman could be and you want him to know that you’ll be okay even those around you don’t approve of your relationship.

You want his happiness, only. What others thought didn’t matter in the least to you.

But, Jungkook was different.

He was always so self-conscious, always thinking about what others' would like and doing things the right way. He was raised that way, you couldn’t do anything about it. Jungkook had practically been born in gold, having all the luxuries one could dream of right from the day he saw the world.

He had always been in the spotlight, the media always around him looking for juicy stories. Every single thing he did was being kept track of, and that definitely played a part in his current personality.

It was extremely rare for him to talk about his feelings too, so seeing him like this- addressing his worries was a first.

“I know, Kook, but you gotta know that I don’t care about them. I only want you, only want you to be satisfied.” He looks straight at you, dark eyes holding so much emotion in them. “You sure?” He softly questions, hand coming to rest on yours.

“Are you sure, Jungkook? I know how hard this must be for you and-“ You’re cut off by his lips meeting yours, gently moving in sync. He pulls off with a sweet pop.

“I don’t want anything more than to show my girl off to everyone.”

© intokook | absolutely no reposts/modifications/translations of works tolerated.

[dragonshoard]

Shdhf here’s most of the other drawins! M gonna be workin on sm digital ones tmrw probably but these are the traditional ones i did in my free times :>

(Btw these were all done yesterday morning/afternoon, so more visible/harsh scarring than i’d now draw with the new info u gave me)

Honestly, since u havent posted a ref/in depth description i jus went with whatever i thought might be likely(shoeless because grew out of them+couldnt get any in the pits, tho im guessing she likely has shoes in the au shfg- also scarring on the chin cause i thought ‘damn what if she smacked her face into the floor while trying to get away’) tho obv i’d draw it differently with any new info. The ‘Jinx’ carving into the collar was also jus me being like ‘damn dont they smtms do that to dogs in fighting rings?? Thatd be fucked up lol’ so like,, feel free to ignore it shdhf

Anyway! Away from the doodles! I am jus,, fuckin burstin with questions mate- ur au’s so cool!! U dont have to answer any of em tho dw sjdjf

So does vi show up well post!pits or do her n cait investigate the pits n see jinx? Im assuming its post based on ur comment of them takin a while to show up since things happen differently, but i felt like askin anyway :p

Does fighter!jinx still tinker/build stuff?? Ik u said she would never touch bombs n such(which, understandable. That sounds like jus askin to be triggered tbh)- but if/when she meets up with ekko does she maybe help with buildin them stuff? Makin/repairin hoverboards, makin guns- or maybe knives n such? Idk what skills u’re givin her dhdgdb

Oh, and with ur first post on this au, im assuming jinx escapes at 15? Can i ask how old she was when silco first gets her? Does she spend a lot of time after escaping just hiding out and ekko happens upon her by accident? Does she gain any injuries while escaping? Does she stay with the firelights when she meets them or does she only visit so as to not draw silco towards them too much? Does silco have specific people hunting jinx down(say, her handlers from the pits, or sevika?) or is it jus like,, everyone in his empire is on high alert for her n everyones to go after her if they see her?

And speaking of sevika- whats her opinion of all this? I mean, obv im guessing shes in favor of whatever silco wants, but do u think she ever felt guilt/regret over tossing vander n his kids to the wolves(literally, in powders case) or does she jus,, not care??

And a final thought(im so sorry i jus realized how many questions this is dhdhdhv)- with jinx’s seeming penchant/willingness to bite anyone n everyone(jus based off the mention of biting the animal-turned-shimmer!monster she fought + her desire to bite silcos hand) does she ever get muzzled?? Or nah??

kjnkdjfnkj i love the pics!! Nah any creative liberties you took are cool to see! I’m still having a hard time drawing Jinx so I was practicing before I could actually post any art refs. 

“Jinx” would be inscribed in the collar if Silco was a pure asshole, but as cruel as he seems in this AU, he doesn’t actually see her as a dog or a pet despite what everyone thinks. He wants her by his side eventually and sees everything that he’s done (towards the last year or two) as a means of “freeing” her. Oh and she does have shoes. They’re falling apart, but they exist xD Not the best idea to fight barefoot on metal. 

And I can totally see the logic behind the scarring. It doesn’t help that she is malnourished, especially in those first few years, so her healing wasn’t very efficient. But, surprisingly, her face is not as marked up as you think it would be after 5-6 years. It’s the rest of her body that’s got an impressive collection. 

(He visits her pretty often towards the end, talking to her and braiding her hair, and it sucks because Jinx naturally wants to not be alone, but also hates the bastard with everything in her. She’d have Stockholm syndrome in this au if it wasn’t for the voices)

Vi is gonna have a straight up heart attack the minute she’s close enough to see the scarring. It’s pretty extensive on her upper body, despite how most of it is pretty faint (barring a few bigger scars) and it’s enough to tell Vi that Jinx has had a rough couple of years. 

I’ll be honest, when I first posted about this AU I thought Powder was 10 in Act 1 and 16 in Act 2-3. Apparently she was 11-12 and 17-18, respectively, so that ruins things a bit xD 

So for sake of keeping it mostly canon, she is roughly 11 when she’s captured by Silco and 17 when she gets free. It won’t be Vi and/or Cait who comes to save her though (I’m actually writing her escape right now so I think I’ll keep quiet on the ‘how’. It’s gonna be appropriately tragic xD). But she does get about a year of freedom before Vi and Cait go into to the undercity. And they show up because she’s messing with Silco’s stuff and leaving a very noticeable trail of destruction behind her. The firelights may or may not be getting caught in the crossfires of her crusade. Ekko is desperately trying to find her (take her in), but for a long while she is absolutely convinced that he’s working with Silco so avoids him like the plague (but doesn’t seriously hurt him or his out of respect for who he used to be to her). 

Speaking of Silco, he absolutely is having multiple people hunting her down. Everyone in his circle has a “report if found, do not engage” order while a select few lead capture attempts. He’s very aware that, as her target, she will eventually come at him so he fortifies himself the best he can. He’s ALSO very aware that she is much stronger than most of his lackies, so knows not to attempt a “capture on sight” order.

As for Sevika... I’ll be honest, I don’t think she gives a damn what happens to the girls. She was perfectly fine with a bunch of kids dying for the undercity, so I don’t see why she would care about Powder being put into the Pits.  Personally, I think Sevika is in favor of getting rid of her and makes her opinion to Silco very known. Jinx was a danger to them if she ever escaped and Sevika was well aware. She also knew that Silco was soft enough for the kid that he would give her leniencies that might lead to said escape (she’s not wrong). 

On another note, Jinx does eventually learn to love building things again. She’ll start building at first out of necessity (her guns aren’t gonna come from thin air, ya know), then because she remembers her passion for it. She is going to be very scared for a while, but eventually learns to get that part of her back. No explosives, but there are plenty of other things to make. In the future, she does spend a lot of time with Heimerdinger once he comes to the undercity/Zaun and he sort of takes both her and Ekko under his wing. He understands she’s been hurt for a very long time and there used to be a part of her that loved to invent, so he does his best to support her interest and catch her up on what she’s missed over the years. 

Personally, I think he’ll encourage her to go back to the basics and start her off on small things like those butterflies/animals before moving onto bigger things, but Jinx would probably try to jump right into the deep end (she would be building guns at this point, it couldn’t be that difficult - said Jinx). Not sure if that works out for her yet. This post is a bit long, so I’ll talk about her skill a bit later (but it does change over time). 

Ekko... I’m on the fence with him. There’s going to be so much guilt and anger there for a long time. Once she realizes he’s not with Silco, Jinx just wants him to forget about everything that’s happened and go back to the way they used to be (desperate to re-claim the very few good things she has left in this world), but that just can’t happen. 

I’m a timebomb shipper. I want them to be together if Jinx is shipped with anyone in this AU, but I don’t know if I’ll actually put her with anyone. She’s got a lot to work on personally (not even looking at her mental health issues) and I’m not sure if pairing her with Ekko is what’s best for the both of them. 

-- oh no you’re giving me ideas with the muzzle ahh. But really, I could see it happening the first year or two before she’s permanently fitted with a shock collar. By that point, I think she’s learned when to bite and when to punch or kick.