#it trully summarizes their relationship

[nothing-leave-me-alone]

My adventures with Superman

Now that I have done some trully in dept research (3 days of giddy leg kick in bed) on this show, I have received a prophesy from apolo (the neuron)

I'm calling it rn, perry whites relationship with the bi-saster trinity can be summarized in

Pw: Why Is It When Something Happens, It's Always You Three??

L: it's in the job description

C: *sputtering and incomprehensible garbled lies*

J: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[irondeficientkitten]

Hi! Dms on my main got taken away bc of reasons, I think it'll work fine if you dm this blog(but I can't). I have experience in both impact play and pain play and what I can say from my experience is that the line between those kinds of wanting isn't that firm. The realization that once I've gotten into an established relationship and built myself a support system my desire to experience pain dropped significantly was really unpleasant and hit me hard. Turns out something I thought I was seeking only for joy was also dabbling as my coping mechanism and a punishment for how I dealt with life's struggles, bc I was in a place where I couldn't get reassurance or other form of support. While also being my desire and bringing me joy at the same time. I wasn't enduring the scenes I did back then, they felt good, it just turned out that they were carrying more than just giving my body pleasurable sensations. And I'm fine with that, it was an ok-ish coping mechanism I didn't abuse, the are far worse options out there

The punishment part is hard to put into words. There are so many experiences and perspectives, so chances are this will be completely useless and unrelatable to you. For me personally pain play when done right brings me joy and a sence of ease, it's also a reassuring act between me and my partner, it builds connection, I feel comfort and trust and am generally all lovey-dovey and cuddly afterwards. Even when smth goes wrong I mostly want to cuddle and get reassured. Getting punished doesn't feel good, the whole thing is to feel bad it doesn't have a resolution and doesn't make me calm or bring ease just new worries. The person doing the punishing doesn't feel like a lover, I want to get away from them, I get a wave of worry (How could the want to do this to me??How can they enjoy this??Do they really think this is what I deserve?How can I make them do this?Am I just using them?). I do not feel grateful or more connected after the act. However I do have thoughts that I'll be "more pure" or "trully deserving of their love" if I ebdure it. The easiest thing to do is listen to your thoughts and pause if they feel off if you're talking to yourself about how you deserve this and stuff. But usually overanalising my motivations just kills the mood for me (Am I really enjoying this? Do I really want this?) or takes away from the experience. I try to get in the moment and feel my feels and pause or stop if anything feels off. Sometimes it's not that I'm sing pain to hurt myself it's just that I'm not in the right headspace to be experiencing that. Sometimes pausing midaction to hug my partner or eat a snack or smth makes everything better bc I see that they aren't mad about me pausing and are a nice and loving person interested in my wellbeing. Probably the same thing as using safewords just to get reassurance that it's ok to use them and they will be respected and no resentment will be held over you.

I feel the .2 question so much. The worst part is sometimes it is in fact the only or most important thing your partner wants from you. That sucks. What helped me was facing my fear and saying that I don't feel like doing any pain related thing anymore and maybe won't for a long time. Even though I did want it, just to see what's the worst case scenario I was maybe trying to avoid by convincing myself I want painful sensations. I also talked with my partner it was a hard conversation but it went well for us. It didn't cure my self-esteem issues that this line of thought stems through for me but it made it better. I asked for reassurance and also tried to do mere things for my partner outside of bedroom so there's less place for doubt to grow. Sex and/or bdsm when I'm not feeling good about myself, feel like Im proving smth or fulfilling a duty are not that pleasurable and leave me feeling worse, even if I did genuinely want it.

So summarized my way of doing it is to listen to myself more and practice taking breaks or stopping action, maybe taking a break from sex/bdsm for a while to make sence of what I feel.

okay real talk. for those into any form of pain play and/or impact play? how do you distinguish between like. wanting it because you Want it vs. wanting it because you feel like either 1. you genuinely deserve it (punishment or the best youll get) or 2. its the best you have to offer your partner?

[incaseyoueverfoolishlyforget]

Lucas and Chloe: A summary