#it took me until I was 19 to start learning how to drive

[n3on-graveston3s-calling]

Adding on:

USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS WHEN YOU ARE MERGING INTO A LANE. I don't care if no one told you do that. Do it. The amount of times I have gone to speed up, only to have the car I'm trying to pass merge into the lane I'm in? Insane. Use your turn signals.

Don't pass diesels on their right side, most of the time they CANNOT see you even with their mirrors. They have BIG blind spots. And never. NEVER. Follow diesels close. Always keep AT LEAST 50 feet from the back of one. They have Mansfield Bars on the underside of their trailers for a very tragic reason. And diesels cannot stop on a dime like you or I can. They will always. Skid.

Stop putting gemstones and other decorations on your dash / steering wheel. The moment your airbag deploys, every single thing you have on your steering wheel will go into your face. Same with anything hanging from your roof, or on your dashboard. They become projectiles akin to shrapnel and will you get to become a living pincushion.

Drive defensively. You never know what someone else will do. And also: always be aware of your surroundings. I live in a densely wooded area, deer are running year-round. If you are going to hit a deer, never slam on your breaks if there is a car behind you. Just hit the deer. It's okay. ( This applies to any animal, I'm sorry, I try to swerve and avoid if there is other traffic around me as much as I can, but sometimes you literally cannot dodge hitting something. It is okay. It will BE okay. Hitting the animal is better than having someone's engine in your backseat. )

And always, always wear your seat belt. Please. It's so important. Please wear it. I beg you.

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[koishiro]

# - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 2 📍

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : the lesson’s with megumi’s dad continue but he seems to become more…possessive?

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : dilf!toji x non-virgin!reader

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : short smut with the tiniest plot ever

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 : cumming inside, oral (male receiving), cheating (toji’s married), breeding kink, impregnation

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 : this is a two part fic but can be read as a stand-alone

Part 1 | 2 | 3

masterlist | jjk masterlist | anon masterlist

Of all the memories I have of being 19 and having an affair with my best friend's dad, the one that I think about most often is the first blow job lesson he gave me. Toji loved oral, both giving and receiving, and he wanted to make sure I knew how to enjoy both.

"For most guys truly good head is a once in a lifetime thing. If you know how to do it right a guy will remember you for the rest of his life”

He said this to me before we really started anything serious, we were in his bed after sex just talking, and he was going on about the value of good oral.

The idea intrigued me greatly, most of my friends hated giving head — or at least hated doing it for more than a few minutes. I was interested in approaching the whole thing a bit differently. I didn't want to hate doing something the guy I was with loved. It seemed like a source of endless friction. I wanted a kind of explosive partnership that was much more intentional about mutually being the best for your partner than passively hoping for their infallibility.

I don't like the middle of the road, if I was going to do something at all, I wanted to do all of it — be the best at it, or at least take it to it's farthest end and experience it fully. Why be a bear at all if you're not going to be a grizzly? When I was younger I denied myself cream and sugar for a long time, until I learned to love the taste of coffee without it, and now I'll never need cream or sugar. When something is good for you, you just have to learn how to love it.

All this to say, Toji wanted to give me blow job lessons, and I was ready to be a very good student. I knew that not every man was going to like what Toji liked, but I figured it would be easiest to adjust from guy to guy when I at least knew one really well. Like how learning your second foreign language is a lot easier than learning your first.

One afternoon I was packing an overnight bag to meet Toji at the lake house when he texted me:

𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘫𝘰𝘣𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘺𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥．

I grabbed a water bottle and drank it on the short drive to the lake house. When I parked I saw he was waiting for me. Seated on the porch with his back against one of the cedar posts, reading something, or pretending to read at least while he waited for me. He looked so handsome and rugged like that.

"How's school?" he asked. I laughed, it was funny to him that I was a student, that I was so much younger than him. It turned me on as well — and I couldn't tell if it was his pleasure at the situation or my own curiosity about someone with a few decades of experience on me.

He poured us some wine inside the house and I drank nervously — he always made me nervous, it was part of his charm. Even when we just talked he stood closer to me than a person normally would. It intimidated and excited me. I took a step back and hopped up on the counter, he stood between my legs and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him tightly, making the kiss more urgent than casual. I wanted to lay on the counter and feel his weight on top of me right then, but I knew that wasn't his plan for the night.

"Can we just have sex first?" I asked, a bit breathless from his advance and finding an irresistible urge inside me to get a quick fix in.

"No..." He moved from kissing my mouth to my neck. "It's good to delay gratification a bit. It makes it better, you'll see” It was impossible to see how he could be right, but all I could do was try to persuade him through other means. Maybe if I started to rub his cock he'd be overcome by the same lust that was making my brain fuzzy. I reached my hand down and felt him, he was definitely hard. But he merely grabbed my hand and deposited back on the counter.

He made us cook dinner then. I've never seen anyone look so sexy while dicing vegetables but I couldn't think about anything else. Everything was sex. Chopping vegetables was sex. Stirring a sauce was sex. Watching his mouth while he drank wine was sex.

I was quiet while we ate. I preferred to stare at his mouth and hands and fantasize about the place on my body I'd put them rather than make polite conversation. As if he could read my mind he was patient with my silence, the corners of his mouth turning up when he caught me lost in thought, my eyes focused on him.

I placed my dishes by the sink after dinner, expecting him to tell me we had to clean up first, too. But I felt his mouth on the back of my neck, his arm reaching around me stomach and pulling me backwards into his body. He reached one hand forward and cupped me between my legs and I felt myself coming undone with anticipation.

"Let's go upstairs”

Toji brought me to his bed where he sat, and I kneeled in front of him. He almost loving when he looked at me.

"You should always start playfully. Don't be too quick at it. You should act like all you want in the world is the guy to cum, but you're not in a big hurry to get it over with. Run your tongue around the edge of the head, especially on the underside. And then when you start taking it in your mouth, hide your teeth behind your lips”

I did all these things for a moment, it felt a bit disjointed but I noticed his hips writhing a bit and it became more natural, more fun. It wasn't my first blow job, but it was my first time trying to do something specific, or even trying really hard at it.

I tried to remember what he said and smiled internally (something someone told me about coming off as having a good time once) before running my lips up and down his shaft, pausing at the tip to lick my way around it and then taking more of it in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it when I slowly pulled it out.

He stood up then, and steadied my head between his hands while he helped me get the rhythm down, pushing himself in and out of my mouth.

He stopped me while I was catching my breath and lifted my face with a few fingers under my chin. "Men want to admire your face while you're doing this. You look so good with my cock in your mouth," he pushed himself back in my mouth, watching me intently as he pushed himself in and out again. He must have been right, I'd never seen his face look like this before. He was so focused, even if just to memorize the moment.

"Curl your tongue, make a snug bed for my cock” "Cup the balls. Don't play with them separately, but as a unit" I followed his instructions.

All of this is, I guess, considered a warm-up. When he's really ready to start Toji told me coordination is important. I needed to move my mouth in sync with my hands so it felt like one thing was happening instead of two separate things.

"See if you can catch your breath while you still keep it in your mouth. Just relax your lips over just the head and pull on it, breathe through your nose"

I tried this and it was unexpectedly easy — but probably because I knew he was expecting me to stop and test this out.

"You can always ask a man what he likes you to do. I like to get deep inside. I want to feel your throat. It mimics sex, but it's more relaxing. And more exciting” I was nervous about this part, but the good kind of nervous, because I knew I'd be happy I did it. And he made me feel very safe. I took him back in my mouth and allowed him to move his hips forward while holding me in place. This is where I discovered my own trick, when I resisted my urge to back off, I found my mouth suddenly filled with my own saliva. My body produced more of what I needed when I pushed it to the edge, and I suddenly had lube for my hand to run up and down his shaft.

He wrapped his hand around mine and showed me the speed and firmness he liked, keeping his other hand on the back of my head to keep us in sync, every few moments removing our hands and hitting my throat with his cock.

"When I speed up, it means you're doing a good job. I'm getting closer" He told me, as he speed up our routine.

He told me that some guys like you to go until completion and others just want to warm up for sex, they want the act of finishing inside you, it's a primal instinct. He was of the latter persuasion.

"When a man says he's about to cum, keep doing what you are doing, and if he is guiding you, let him take over. He knows what he needs”

I removed my hand from his cock and ran them up and down his thighs to signal that I was willing to do this. I looked up at him as I suddenly felt salty precum in my mouth. He was looking at me intently, pumping in and out of his mouth. I struggled not to move even though his groans were really turning me on. Finally I felt him break rhythm and push himself deep inside my mouth, depositing his semen down the back of it. It was always a bit difficult not to gag with the surprise of a guy cumming in your mouth, but since it was so far back, it was easier as it was already being swallowed by the time I realized what was happening.

He fell back onto the bed behind him. "Goddddd Y/n, you're already very good at this”

This wasn't the last blow job lesson, we usually practiced before sex from then on, but they got quicker — which I took as a compliment.

This went on for nearly a year. Meeting Toji at the lake house, receiving lessons, having sex was now a near daily occurrence that it surprised me how his wife hadn’t found out.

It surprised me even more when I found myself caught in quite the predicament.

Two nights before I was due to meet Toji for our near-daily escapade I had run into my friend Yuji, another (now) second year on my way to the grocery store. Yuji was a lovable character, always energetic, ready to talk to anyone and everyone and always seen with a bright smile on his face.

“Y/n! Where are you going at this time? Do you mind if I tag along?” How could I refuse the look he gave me? With his big bright puppy eyes and almost visible pout.

“Sure I don’t see why not, you can help me carry the shopping bags back” and of course he jumped at the idea of being able to help someone in need.

All I expected to get was ramyun noodles, a tub of ice cream and a few snacks for the weekend.

What I didn’t expect was to later be pinned down on a king sized bed while being ploughed into.

"Holy fuck, you're one- ngh, attention whore, aren't you?" He asked between his groans, and I whined, wriggling from underneath him. I couldn't give a proper answer, not when he'd gotten me in this position. My face pressed down on the bed, his hand on my waist, my ass up, and he's fucking me with no restraint whatsoever. Usually, he would be soft - or as soft as Toji could possibly be - with me, but tonight was different.

Tonight he was angry.

"answer me." he demanded, as he spanked my ass. The handprint causing a red mark to appear on my ass cheek, and I winced in pain before shaking my head. "No - that's … mfph! ngh - not true..!" I tried to deny his cruel words, protesting 'no' against all his accusations.  "No? Then why- why were you like that with Itadori, huh? Actin’ all friendly and shit." He leaned in, questioned me right in my ear, sending goosebumps all over my skin, and the pleasure he's giving me, my pussy being abused by his mean cock, making me feel euphoric, and the mixture of his harsh and brutal words, it turned me on. I loved whenever Toji was sweet and soft with me in bed, teaching me. But I also loved this side of him. I loved whenever he'd be mean with me and call me all these degrading names.

“You tryna slut yourself out, huh? Is that what you wanted? C’mon, answer me.” I couldn’t breath out a single reply, muted by his hard cock diving in and out. I was cock - stupid.

Nothing mattered, only his cock. It was all I could focus on. The rhythm and pace he kept while spitting crude and hurtful words my way but I didn’t care, I loved it. “What? Can’t talk now? You jus’ that cock drunk? D’you think pink boy could do this to you, making you a dumb cock slut?”

He wasted no time taking his lips to my neck and kissing, abusing, the soft skin as his hands worked on my big assed hips. Taking pleasure in watching my ass bounce back and forth, keeping in rhythm with his thrusts.

And then he pulled out, leaving me to whine unsatisfyingly and wriggling my ass trying to tempt him to dive back in.

"All you got to do is ask for it bitch, I'll give you exactly what you're wanting.”

I was all his from that moment on, I surrendered to him immediately, giving myself completely to him, panting like a bitch in heat,

"Oh God fuck me, please fuck me!...fuck my slutty cunt please!"

Then his long shaft poised at the opening of my cunt thrust forward, the massive cock spread my cunt open, pushing as far as he could. I was in ecstasy as this happened. His big hands held me open, spreading my ass as he slowly slid his thick shaft into my pussy. I moaned, groaned, sighed and panted as he entered me, stretching me, filling me to places I had never before felt a cock penetrate too. His big cock was by now touching previously untouched territory of my pussy. I was stretched by his girth more than I ever had been. And it showed as I moaned over and over, the pain both sore yet pleasurable.

"Oh oh, oh my god! - mfph! Oh fuck, fuck" .... "Oh my fucking god!"

Before long he had sunk every last inch of his cock into my eager cunt. He would pause briefly before withdrawing the hard shaft he had inserted into me. His cock glistened with my moistness. He then withdrew his cock, till I could see the mushroom crown of his cock almost come completely out of me briefly, and then he would thrust it back into me. I groaned loudly and let out a low growl of satisfaction as I began to simultaneously thrust my hips forward to meet his cock. He soon picked up the pace, hard and fast.

His balls slapped against my ass with vigour, as our thrusts met. He kept commenting on how big a slut I was for his big cock, and how wet I was.

"Your pussy feels so fucking wet, bet you ain't never been fucked so deep have you? Not by those lil’ boys I bet.”

He laughed loudly as I could only pant and groan at the onslaught.

“D’ya think pink boy could do this huh? Fuck you this deep? What if I knocked ya up hm, what then? Would that teach you?”

I let him know best I could that indeed it would as I screamed, “yes, please! Fill me up. Give me your baby! Give me your cum!”, and oh how much I was loving it, by telling him to fuck me harder and fill my slutty cunt. Flipping me onto my back, my hands were now on his ass pulling his dick deeper into my dripping cunt with each thrust. I then pulled him down and started kissing him deeply and passionately as he fucked me silly. My breathing was ragged, and increasing rapidly, soon I knew as did he that I was on the edge of cumming; He didn't stop this time.

My breath became shorter and shallower, but his thrusts remained long, deep, fast and hard. I went over the edge screaming out as my body was racked by a powerful orgasm. He never missed a beat, continuing the relentless pounding on my well abused cunt as I came, prolonging my orgasm. I was by now flopping around like a rag doll moaning and sighing at his persistent thrusts as I enjoyed the pleasures he was bringing to my body. As my orgasm subsided I pleaded with him to stop, telling him that I couldn't take it anymore.

“‘Gonna fill you up. Make you nice and round f’me, how’d you like that? Filled with my babies, my babies.”

He fucked me for some time like that before moaning - a loud guttural moan.

"I'm almost there, ain't no stopping now. Gonna fill you up!”

I was moaning as I desperately wanted the pleasures I was feeling, with each thrust of his rod. His thrusts intensified and he began to breathe heavily, then suddenly without warning he grunted, sank his cock as deep as it would go into my wet frothy hole. He was so deep inside me, that I felt his large ball sac tighten towards his groin and then his balls starting to jump around as his cock spurted shot after shot of cum into my fertile womb. All too late I was knocked out of the fantasy, remembering I wasn't on any birth control, "Oh my god I could actually get pregnant!" I yelled

"That's what’m hoping for.... your belly full of my baby” He rasped out, hugging me close to his warm and sweaty body.

At each spurt, he thrust into me as he emptied his balls followed by a grunt, staying there as if not taking any chances of it leaking out.

And that’s when I remembered,

“Shit, Toji! You’re married!”

—

Part 1 | 2 | 3

𝘈 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 2 𝘧𝘰𝘳 @shadowmoonlight0604 ♡︎

[vickyvicarious]

I had to tear down wrappings and ransack a number of boxes and drawers, but at last I managed to turn out what I sought; the box label called them lambswool pants, and lambswool vests. Then socks, a thick comforter, and then I went to the clothing place and got trousers, a lounge jacket, an overcoat and a slouch hat—a clerical sort of hat with the brim turned down. I began to feel a human being again, and my next thought was food.

I know this is like, a fairly common expression, but still... there's something to be said for the way Griffin doesn't feel human again till he is dressed.

His initial feeling of being a seeing man in a world of the blind, during his his invisible flight from his rooms, lasted only a few minutes. And then first he was struggling in the crowd, before he fairly quickly became prey on the run. The rest of his experience before he took shelter in the mall is pretty nightmarish.

He spends such a good chunk of the book described only as a stranger, and in a way that clearly reflects the testimonies of those who resented and didn't respect him. But also, for all that he is paranoid about being seen (being unseen) by them, he doesn't want to be identified or to socialize at all, so he never gives them a name. Mr. Marvel, of course, never knows him by any name either - he's the first person who (doesn't) see him for what he is right from the start of their acquaintance, and to him Griffin is only ever "the Voice" or "the Invisible Man."

We don't learn his name at all until chapter 17, when he identifies himself to Kemp. And even then, even after a whole back-and-forth repeating his name, he's still called either "the Voice" or "the Invisible Man", once "the Unseen", throughout the rest of that chapter. In chapter 18, he's described by name just once, when his reply to a final question of what else Kemp can get him indicates a surprising vulnerability/desire for comfort: "“Only bid me good-night,” said Griffin." Again, in chapter 19, Griffin is back to initially being only "the Invisible Man" when he's having his fit of temper. He gets his name back when sits down to eat and when he and Kemp are conversing about science. But when he begins describing his money trouble and how he robbed his father, he becomes "the Invisible Man" again at the close of the chapter. In chapter 20, it's mostly Griffin's story, but there's a little switch at the start of the chapter. Kemp takes "the Invisible Man's arm" to bring him away from the window when he's worried he'll see police approaching, and then puts himself "between Griffin and the nearest window" - when he feels more sure he's managing the situation, Griffin gets his name back. Again, at the end of chapter 21, he's back to his title while we see Kemp glancing out the window nervously and clearly distracted... his thoughts more on the help he sent for than on the story being confided to him.

With Kemp, the only person who knows his name, there is a clear pattern to call him by some title when he is afraid of his violence. At least so far. His name is only ever used when he is being more 'civilized'. Not even just whenever he is being open and vulnerable, because he does that a surprising amount throughout his story, but as Kemp's mind wanders, Griffin goes back to being titled once more.

When he's naked and totally invisible, Griffin himself feels like something outside of humanity. And while briefly freeing, this soon became a horrible feeling, something othering and scary. It's why his first instinct is to get clothes, before he even thinks about food. It's why he tries so hard to escape in the clothes he's stolen, before he's finally forced to abandon them. Sure, there's the practical reasons of not wanting to get sick and cold, and so on, but that's not the main drive. Except then he has to give that up in order to get away safely. And even when he does acquire clothes and money and his research and gets away somewhere safer (where the story begins), it's never enough. He's always othered to various degrees, which in general just keep increasing over time. By the time he gets to Kemp, his first request is no longer for clothes - something which again could just be put down to practicalities (he hasn't eaten in much longer this time, he's more used to running about naked and the weather is better) but also showcases much more of a willingness to leave them behind at the first sign of danger, in order to free himself to fight or flee. More certainty that he will need to. And he's right about that - after all, wearing clothes may make Griffin feel more human, but it's not the determining factor for Kemp here.

[lanalaynetalks]

I skipped the Daphne arc. I’m sorry I can’t do it. Like I don’t understand how people can look at that arc and the Zodiac arc and say that the Zodiac arc is the worst filler arc. But yay Edolas! This is an arc I have grown to like. When I first watched it I had the same feeling about it as Oracion Seis Arc. Now I like it even if it hurt my head a little bit. This is just exposing me as an idiot I think. I’m just a girl!

1. The filler episode before the Edolas arc are some of my favs! I like most of the filler episodes in the series. I do think these episodes are important because we are reminded of everyone’s personalities before Edolas where they are like the opposite.

2. I’m going to try my best to reframe from talking about Lisanna and how her character was useless after she came back. Let me be clear I am not Lisanna hater. I love her, I just believe she was so underutilized in the series and the most pointless revival of the whole series. This is will be a longer post but I love her and she deserves better.

3. “We are on a cusp of a new era” Makarov said this in the episode Guildarts came back. Now this is likely hinting that he is wanting Guildarts to become master, but I see it as something else. I personally see the 7 year time skip as a soft reset for the show. So I think it was for shadowing that. It could also be hinting at Earthland learning about Edolas.

4. My favorite part of this whole arc is Gajeel wanting a cat. I love it. It humanizes him so much!

5. I will say I don’t really like the first part of the Edolas arc and I think it starts really slow

6. Edolas Fairy Tail 🥰

7. It annoys me that they don’t just tell Edolas Fairy Tail that they are from Earthland

8. Lisanna and Nastu’s reuniting is underwhelming

9. Why is Edolas Wendy just older???

10. I don’t understand why Edolas Gajeel is a journalist but I love him sm. I need to see him and Edolas Levy together. Because we all know they are soulmates in every universe. Plus both Gajeels together is 10/10

11. I also think it’s goofy that Edolas Nastu is known for driving a car. It’s the same goofy as Cancer Vs Gray dance battle. No I’m not explaining further.

12. Lucy and Nastu are already together in every universe besides ours.

13. We don’t talk enough about how the huge ass lacrima in the middle of the city was just Erza and Gray… we need to talk about this more.

14. Also who was the Master of Edolas Fairy Tail? Was it Edolas Laxus???? You know what where is the Edolas Thunder Legion??? If Edolas Makarov is the king what about Edolas Ivan and Laxus??? Are they princes??? If Mystgon is his son shouldn’t he actually be Ivan’s counterpart? This confuses me the most about Edolas… where are the rest of the Dreyar family? I guess if Wendy is just older they may of been born to different people I guess. I’m just going to believe that Edolas Laxus was master and died. WHERE IS EDOLAS LAXUS!

15. Maybe I am being too crazy because why is Edolas Ichiya a cat…

16. It’s honestly pretty dark to think that the only reason Carla and Happy cared for Wendy and Nastu is because the Exceeds fucked with their minds.

17. I love Happy’s mom and dad so much. Them being rebellious makes so much sense. I just love them. Grumpy X Sunshine at its peak

18. I am going to fan girl over panther lily! I love him! He is my second favorite cat. Because Frocsch does exist! I love them so much. Like I cry every time something bad happens to them!

19. ROCK CITY BOY IS ON OF TH BEST OPENINGS! I think it’s in my top 5.

20. While the arc started slowly, the climax is so good. The rest is well paced.

21. So is the giant robot dragon supposed to be Edolas’s fairy heart? This is likely a dumb theory.

22. Rip Mystogan… he’s not dead just we don’t see him again until 100 year quest. Seriously though Mystogan has a special place in my heart for being my first anime crush…. Then I saw Laxus and I was like Mystogan who?

23. It took me so many years to realize this, but Lactor’s and Frosch’s parents live in earthland… like their parents were sucked out of Edolas. They are both the same age as Carla and Happy when they came back from the 7 year time skip…. I just realized this and I feel dumb. THEY WERE BORN DURING THE TIME SKIP! I don’t know why my brain never realized this!

24. And that’s the last time we see the exceeds…

25. GAJEEL AND LILY! The best of friends!

26. Why were Edolas Mira and Elfman so chill about Lisanna not being there Lisanna? Why did Mira and Elfman not question why Lisanna disappeared and there was no body after her death?

27. Not gonna lie Lisanna reuniting with Mira and Elfman makes me cry every time.

28. I do wish we got some filler episodes about Edolas, or some updates on how they are doing.

29. I think the funniest part about the series before the 7 year time skip is the fact that so many of the villains main thing is reviving Zeref, but turns out he was was chilling on Tenrou Island. Like the man was spending time with his situationship.

I wanted to put this at the end of this one, but I will start putting this at the end of the rest. I would like to let the people know who read this that I am actually doing my rewatch while working on my school work. I am working on mostly my capstone while watching. I am likely going to miss some stuff/forget to write it down. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time so I am doing in now during this rewatch. Sorry if I miss anything and feel free to share your opinions!

[theresstillgrowinghere]

Sometimes when I’m so very sick like this, I get particularly sentimental, and so now as I spend the evening trying to avoid a trip back to the hospital, I’m thinking about the fleeting but meaningful, deeply impactful moments of queer love and community that have passed through my life over the years, like -

When someone I had just started seeing spent hours researching my illnesses to better understand my experience and to learn how to support me as best they could

When someone I had a rocky relationship with spent the whole day in the ER with me. We couldn’t say much to each other because the wounds were still fresh, but they cared about me, so they took me and then they stayed

When someone laid beside me on the floor for hours because I was so unwell. She had better things to do, but she didn’t want to leave me, and she didn’t want to rush me. So we just laid on the ground, and she told me stories until I felt well enough for her to drive me home

When a very touch-averse person became concerned about how rapidly I was declining when I was 19 and on my own. I was so scared, and they offered me - also pretty touch-averse - physical comfort in a way that gave me a sense of safety I couldn’t find anywhere else

These people were never in my life for long. We didn’t keep in touch, and I have no idea where they are now. But those moments of tenderness meant so much, still touch me so deeply. I wish I could send each one of them a little note to thank them for just being there, with me through the fear and the ache and the loss and the ugliness of it all

So if can’t thank them directly, I’ll just put it out into the world -

Thank you, queer loves

Thank you, queer community

We don’t have to hold each other together, but so often we choose to, and I am so grateful

[snoozingredpanda]

Omg can I get benni with a hopeless romantic reader? Bonus points if they find her yandere tendencies "cute"

what I would give to have a girl like benni in my life. sorry this took so long :)

—

Benni Winters — All Things Love

GN!Reader

Warnings: obsession, manipulation, benni being benni, slight age gap (five years), mentions of NSFW (no explicit detail), swearing

—

• You weren’t the luckiest in love.

• Lover after lover came and went, each leaving your heart a tiny bit more broken, but you vowed to never give up.

• You were the type to believe in soulmates, that everyone had a certain someone they were supposed to meet and stay with forever.

• But you just couldn’t seem to find them.

• So you went years of small, short relationships, trying so, so hard to find Mr or Miss Right, but alas, you were disappointed every time.

• Until you met Benni, of course.

• She was a new intern at the journalists that you worked at, specialising in photography for the newspapers as well as helping the tech department with their cameras.

• Since you were quite high up in the company, she was put under your care, a cute collage-fresh sweetheart who complimented your each and every move.

• It felt like love at first sight, but it felt a bit wrong at first. She was only 19, and you were nearly 25. You felt kind of… predatory. But, you couldn’t resist her charm, finding yourself in her arms within a month of meeting her.

• She was the most perfect partner: intelligent, handsome, possessive… you really felt like she was the one. You fell in love with her, maybe a bit too quickly. What would she think if she knew how fast you’d fallen?

• But you didn’t have a clue how reciprocated your feelings were.

• Fuck, Benni was obsessed with you.

• She’d been stalking you even before she’d met you, this talented journalist who wrote so many wonderful articles… she just had to meet you, and as if the gods had heard her plea, a single internship slot opened up.

• It would be a lie if she said she didn’t do some simple rumour spreading to get the other applicants rejected, hacking into their Twitter accounts to post the most outrageous opinions on controversial topics, just to ensure she would be chosen.

• But when she actually met you, it was game over for you. She followed you home every night, noting down what you had for dinner so she could learn to make it for when she gets you (whether that be by manipulation or kidnap, she didn’t mind). She also added a tracker to you car, just so she knows exactly where you drive to if you were to randomly disappear late at night.

• She’s putting the charm on thick, gently touching your arm, giving you small smirks that she knows drives you crazy.

• It doesn’t take long for you to be in her bed, sweaty as she presses open-mouth kisses over your delicious skin, exhausted and pleasured body sprawled out so magnificently. She’s got hearts in her eyes, heart beating so loud she’s sure you can hear it.

• You’re the one.

• She’s the one.

• You ignore all the red flags.

• So what if she happens to be in the same mall fifty miles away? She’s just returning a jacket that didn’t properly fit her.

• And the cameraman who lost his job for having drugs on site? No, silly, that’s a coincidence that happened, and that Benni took over his job.

• What about the multiple occasions you’ve found her in your house uninvited? She’s just making sure you’re alright, of course. Give her a key as well, just so she knows how much you love her.

• Her yandere tendencies become very apparent a few months after you start dating. She’s confident you’re so in love with her that you won’t care, and yup, she’s right.

• “Oh, that’s adorable,” you laugh as she shows you the piles of photos she’s taken of you while you’re not looking. “Ah, look! That’s when I was in… Cyprus? How…? Oh, you’re a strange but beautiful thing, love.”

• “Oh, baby, you scared me,” you grin as you notice her standing in the doorway of your bedroom, after waking up in the middle of the night. “Come on, come get warm with me.”

• “I love it when you get all protective,” you murmur, nuzzling your face into her neck. “The way that guy’s nose cracked when you punched him was hot.”

• It’s as if you’re wearing rose tinted glasses. You see no bad in Benni.

• Even if she straight up murdered someone, you’d be unable to see her as anything but an adorable sweetheart, one that was only trying to protect you, of course.

• Benni’s glad she managed to get you before someone more horrible did. You were susceptible to love, and if someone dangerous were to woo you… oh she can’t bare to think of the consequences.

• Just stay with her.

• It’s safer that way.

[sweatersarentsweatshirts]

This is long and personal, but I just want to share I’m a former gifted kid who turned out to have ADHD and Autism.

I dropped out of high school at 18. But shouldn’t I have already graduated ? No, I had severe depression from my other undiagnosed issues so I wasn’t attending school as much as I needed to. They would’ve let me come back for another semester at 19. I only needed a few more credits to graduate. I couldn’t do it. Or maybe I did. It’s all kind of a haze because of my depression.

Seventh grade was my last year of straight A’s. I couldn’t tell you my gpa in high school, but I could tell you I once wound up yelling between the upstairs (my mom’s room) and at my brother’s room trying to get one of them to take me to school. I was 15. I couldn’t drive myself. Then two years later they were frustrated at how much school I was missing when I could drive myself.

I wanted to drop out at fourteen and take the GED. I could just skip straight to college. My mom said no. Over and over again.

Four years later I took the HiSET. They start you with some practice exams that will show how much you need to learn before you’re ready. You required to do 12 or 60 hours of classes before you can take the real test. I got put on the 12 hour option. So I showed up to the class and they had me take a longer pretest to see what they needed to teach me. I think I went two or three times before they said “you’re ready to take the tests, I don’t have to teach you anything.” Nine hours of class waived.

I aced the HiSET in one try.

I think I was 19 when I enrolled in college… I think I took the HiSET in spring, so yeah. A year later than everyone I went to high school with.

I was poor so almost all of my schooling was covered by the pell grant. I had to take out a loan for books and stuff, but most of that money went to paying utility bills for my household. I tried college, but my depression came back in full force that winter. I scraped by with my attendance but when it came to the finals… I just didn’t show up. I failed every single class, probably. I didn’t really check.

More pressure from my mom and I went back for a second semester, fully online this time. I had to write a letter begging for my financial assistance back and cited the real personal issues that were plaguing me at the time. Got accepted. I did probably five assignments total.

Finally my mom let me drop out.

So at 20 I started job searching. I’d worked at McDonald’s for a couple weeks at eighteen or so? Stopped showing up because of anxiety. Walmart for a month before my legs physically couldn’t handle standing still for eight hours in the middle of the night anymore. (Going to bed with the sun was a nightmare). I worked for Kohl’s for a single day. Black Friday. Zero training. I was a bagger the whole shift. Never went back.

Before I could really find a job, I went to a convention with a friend and… just never really came home. I picked up some stuff at one point, but I lived with them for a few months. I tried to find a job out there and failed. At least I taught my friend to drive. They had trauma around driving and didn’t get their license until after I helped. We were both early twenties.

I was guilted into coming home again because my grandma got cancer.

So I came home. I got a job at an adult goods store. It was the best job I’d had so far because there was minimal interaction and the boss was decent. They paid $8/hr. I was there for almost a full year when the pandemic hit. I was laid off. The unemployment money took two months to get to my account, but I’d found a new job by then. I was promoted to assistant manager within the seven months I worked there.

My mom didn’t live at home so my brother and I paid the bills. And then he moved out too. So at 24 I was living with a roommate in my mother’s home. I couldn’t leave. I was stuck in that damn town because if I left, who would pay the bills? Who would care for the pets? Finally. Finally she moved back. I’d had two other jobs in the mean time. Another failed job and then my lucky break. A job an hour away. I moved in with my dad for a year and looked desperately for a friend to move in with. One fell through and then.

The friend from before and another. We all moved in together. I lived with my parents until I was 26.

Eight years of anger and hopefulness and finally.

I’m free.

In $14k of debt, but I live on my own, I can drive, and I have a job.

Not bad for a high school dropout.

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[lifebefore30]

A recurring memory

My mind is constantly fast-playing thoughts, dreams, and memories.

For some reason, sometimes my BRAIN is like:

"Hey, if you died right now, this is what you would see: "life flashing before your eyes."

The same memories pop up every time. And it's the only time I even think about that memory.

I honestly can't think of what the other are right now. But there is one I remember.

I think I was about 3 or 4 years old. My maternal grandmother took me shopping with her at KMART. I remember the smell of the cafe there. Soft pretzels and blue raspberry slushies. YUMM.

Anyway...

I'm sitting in the front of the cart. I know I said something bratty (don't know what) because I remember my grandmother having this tone in her voice. Like she had enough of my shit. She then started to tell me that I had an older sister but my parents gave her away, and that they would do the same to me if I didn't behave.

I remember doubting what she said but didn't want to take the chance. I did realize later in life that it wasn't true obviously.

But again, when I was super young, like maybe 5, I also remember sitting in the back of the car with my parents in the front. We're driving home from somewhere and I randomly sit up and lean over in between the front seats. (because I don't remember ever using a booster seat back then lol that wasn't a thing. I rode in the back end of a pickup if the weather was nice.)

And I just had this compulsion to blurt out:

"You know, I wish I had different parents."

And I said it with a smile on my face, like matter of factly. Not realizing or thinking of how they would feel. I just had to get that out.

Of course, my parents were stunned. They scolded me of course, telling me how mean I was.

Looking back, I feel bad. Especially with being a parent myself now. I would be heartbroken if my son said that to me.

But those two are some of the first memories for me that I was scolded for saying something I shouldn't have but I couldn't help saying it. It wasn't always "bad" things I would want to say. It was my ideas and opinions on things I heard family members talking about.

And I know it seems that kids say ridiculous stuff all the time. Usually brutely honest.

But eventually, in my early years, I learned the hard way to just keep my mouth shut when adults were around. I didn't want to get screamed at or hit. And not just by family members. It sounds bad, but I really wasn't physically abused much. It was more emotional and neglect than anything, to be honest.

When I hit my teenage years, my family wondered why I was so shy and quiet and stayed in my room as much as possible or not even be home.

Granted one wish, I would talk to my younger self and give advice on how to be happy and safe.

Did not hear either parent say "I love you" or hug me until my first Grippy Sock Vacation at age 19. It felt forced. Like they just wanted to make themselves feel better about their parenting skills.

[splendiddlydoo]

friday, 19 july 11:32AM

finalllly the weekend. i've been feeling restless restless restless. and i've hated it. it's only friday and i'm feeling such a sense of urgency like the weekends gonna fly by.

i did meet a really nice patient yesterday tho. he had a quad tendon repair because he tore 80% of his quadricep muscle from tripping over. his spirit was so high despite what he was going through and it was so refreshing to meet someone with such a good attitude. i've met a few patients like that and they always leave a good impression on me. he was once a kindergarten teacher, then he was a tradie and became a truck driver, and he wants to study nursing. i thought that was pretty cool.

i had a nice chat with him about my journey with becoming a nurse. i had no initial interest in becoming a nurse, i just reached a point in my life where i feel like i needed something stable and secure - career-wise. i never resonated with nursing, and i don't even remember how i came up with the idea. i've had a few people in my life saying that they doubted my ability to become a healthcare worker "its not you", "idk if that suits you". those kinds of remarks really made me question myself but i now realise that it only matters if i allow other peoples opinions to affect my decision making. it got to a point where i stopped clinging to my identity so much and just opened myself up to different experiences.

during my course, i still didn't resonate with the idea of being a healthcare worker but i didn't regret or second guess my decision ever. i kinda just took it day by day. i liked being a student because it gave me purpose. it wasn't until my final placement that i was finally able to appreciate nursing because i got to meet a lot of lovely patients and i was confident enough to trust the process and the work enviroment was really supportive.

everything eventually falls into place for me - even if its at a slow pace. after graduating, i started working at secret garden eatery, and i was feeling dissonant because i wasn't pursuing my career and it weighed on me. i really appreciated the experience tho because i got to meet some really interesting characters and became really close to the workers. i'll never forget them. and i hope malone shifts me on soon.

i still feel imposter syndrome at times but i am very much open to learning and becoming more knowledgeable as a nurse. it's made me feel insecure about my ability to retain information and very much envious of those who have good memories. i guess i just have to study consistently so that information sticks.

i feel grateful for angie, who is a brilliant mentor. she is always willing to teach me and answer any questions i have. i feel really really lucky. and to have someone i can laugh with at work as well. the fact that i only have to drive 10 minutes to work is also a blessing. i used to justify my low pay with the fact that the commute was so short but now with the pay rise - i am feeling extra blessed. only working 3 days a week got me down because it was hard for me to save up for a house but that time off allowed me to go to the gym more and now i notice my gains and my strength increasing and i'm super stoked about that. i'll be working more for the next few weeks because elisa has class so that will be a good opportunity for me to save more money.

[pin-crusher2000]

Earth-66 Origins: Robert Long

Robert Hinckley Long was your normal five year old toddler. With bright curly blond hair & bright beautiful blue eyes, he was a perfect baby between his mom Donna Troy, the superhero know as Wonder Girl, & his father Terry Long, a normal guy who is causal Photographer (in my universe).

However, like some parents, things aren’t always perfect; Donna & Terry were getting a divorce due to Donna’s actions of being a superhero: putting her love ones in danger, and always away from the family. When Terry took his son away from Donna, it was the very last time Donna saw her lover, when one day, changed her & most importantly, her son’s life forever.

It was around 5-6pm when the sun was beginning to set, Terry was driving in his SUV with his son Robert in the car seat in the back with his half-sister Jennifer, heading back to his house after a trip to the movies. When suddenly, a deer appeared from the woods, causing terry to swerve off the road & down the hill where his car started to crash & tumble down.

The car was in shambles: windows were broken, doors were destroyed, airbags were deployed & there was two dead people, covering in blood & glass shards. However, Robert himself was perfectly ok besides some scars on his face, he cried out of terror before passing out of exhaustion.

Years later

A group of bank robbers has successfully stolen large stacks of money & put it on a table in an empty & broken house that they use for safety. When suddenly a young boy with blond curly hair, blue eyes & a small scar underneath his left eye bust through one of the windows wearing a red shirt with a white star, black pants with stars, & armor gauntlets on his wrist with a orange glowing lasso on his side.

The young boy then beats up the goons very painfully as one of them got kicked in the crotch (don’t worry the robbers balls are ok just super sore XD)

There was one goon still standing when the young boy uses his lasso to tie up his victim.

Goon:”w-what is this?!” The goon cried out.

The Little Warrior:” This is the lasso of humiliation, under my command you will tell me the most embarrassing thing you have done.”

Goon: “g-gah! I-I accidentally farted real loud next to my crush back in school!”

The Young Warrior: (giggles) “that’s funny, now time for your butt kicking Fart face!”

The young warrior then blows a raspberry at the goon & then roundhouse kick him in the face.

The young brave boy is actually Robert Long, son of Donna Troy: The Wonder Girl of the Teen Titans. He tied up the goons & waited for the police to arrived to arrest them. He was on the roof sitting when he took out a picture of a young adult with blond hair & beard: it was his dad terry.

Robert: “I miss you dad, I miss you everyday.” He kisses the photo & puts it back into his pocket & went home for the night. The end.

Notes:

Terry Long is a very controversial character in the teen titans lore, so here is some rewrites to make him more pleasant.

He is in his mid twenties (25-26) instead of late twenties & early thirties.

He is a full time middle school teacher (let’s say 6th grade history teacher) & has a hobby for photography, this is how he met Donna for having similar interests.

He did have a bio daughter (Jennifer) around 18/19 with his first girlfriend (wife in comics) they spilt like in the comics too.

He is least flirty (he might say your pretty, but not as pretty as my Donna)

He & Donna spilt the same way: always doing superhero work, putting him & Robert in danger, turning his backyard into a training ground etc.

Now for Robert

His mom (plus “aunts”) started training him around age 7/8 with different types of butt kicking & weapons.

He has a good relationship with his mom until his early to mid teen years when he dicovers why his parents spilt: cause of his mom’s superhero work, learning that weakens the relationship between them. But he soons rebuilt that relationship overtime.

He is in a duo with Jake Grayson, his best friend & boyfriend (got together around when he entered puberty; age 10-12) called: Wonder Warriors/Wonder Twins.

He wears a magical bracelet to disguise himself (he’s the same in & out of costume, it tricks people psychologically)

Preoutfit: a blue shirt with the Wonder Woman symbol on the front, knee pads, elbow pads, gloves, & a spartan mask (with a blue feather) to protect his identity. (7-9)

First outfit: mention above in origins. (10-present)

Any questions, comments, or concerns? Let me know! ;)

[xlovingcupcakex]

Story 1#

Back at one of the jobs that I've had when I was 19, I was working at a crab factory. Typical seasonal job. We were making those crab skulls filled with crab meat. It was a seasonal job.

So, we were about 15-20 people, depending on the month. 8 people were permanent workers, where depending on the person they had from 4 to 20 years of experience of working at the factory.

So, at that point I've worked there for 4 months. I've worked since the beginning of the season, and the highest peak of the season was approaching, so our boss hired more people. One of them was... We'll call him Ditto.

Ditto was... Really awkward at first. My boss asked me to give him a ride to and from work, since walking 1.5 km was too much for him, and I was taking the ferry anyways since I've lived far away, on another island. I agreed since I love helping people and I love driving my car.

So, it was Ditto's first day at work, and he came to the country the day before. Understandably, he asked me if I minded going to a grocery store after work, since he needed to buy food. Obviously, I told him that it wasn't a problem and that was that. Or so I've thought.

Chat, we get into the car, right? And so I start driving my car to the nearest grocery store and we have a small conversation. You know, the usual stuff, like age, general likes, relationship status, hobbies and the like. So far so good. He's being really friendly, which was nice enough, since I was the only person that was his age, I thought it was perfectly understandable. Turns out we both like alternative metal. Cool. Our passenger princess (Ditto) plays music in the car.

Then he suddenly starts to compliment my English skills. Now, the thing is, English is not my first language, but because of school I've learned to speak with an/a American/British accent, but I avoid using it with native speakers since I'm always self conscious and scared that they'll think I'm mocking them or something. Yes, I do tend to overthink and I do tend to worry too much.

So I've explained the above and made a joke how I sound like Glados from Portal whenever I use a British accent, and he goes (very very flirty) "I wouldn't mind you talking like a robot lady. I would actually really appreciate it."

Chat, hear me out. I know some people are just friendly/flirty, but the situation becomes much worse later on. To start off, the dude has a girlfriend. From the sounds of it, she sounded fucking amazing. Hella smart. Got into doctor studies. A year older.

So at this point I kinda gave him a subtle sideye. The "dude, why" sideye. But I continue driving since I don't want to crash my car and die yet. So I just mutter a "oh, that's nice/thanks"

Nothing much was said after that until after we did the groceries and I was dropping him off. As mentioned, back then I used to take a ferry, so time was kind of scarce for me since I spent 2-3h each day commuting to work.

So, the dude is really slow. My grandma moves on a wheelchair and even she is faster than him. So by the time I grab the groceries I thought he would have taken out the bike (he rode the bike from the house to the ferry, and I was supposed to get him from the ferry and then drive to work. Since I was dropping him off after grocery shopping we packed the bike as well).

But he did not. And since I wanted to take the ferry on time (otherwise I would have had to wait for 45min) I just walked up and I was about to grab the bike.

Listen, our hands touch. I don't think much of it. But him? He blushed. Hard. He kinda shyly took his hand away, and then went like, "TeeHee what a coincidence."

It does become worse. Since he looks at the clock and suggest that I stay for tea/coffee. At that point my alarm bells kinda ticked off and there's no way I'm going to stay with this dude one on one more than I have to. So I say no and that I'm going home.

NOW, here's a list of things he used to do at work:

1) I listened to music during work, since we could and I didn't see why not. Just casually killing crabs and listening to Killing Floor 2 soundtrack along with Doom.

I've had some experience at that point, and the leader had terrible English skills, so I guess he naturally went to me whenever he didn't understand something or didn't know what to do. Which is totally fine! What was not fine, is the way how he went around with it.

Instead of tapping me on the shoulder, he would stand beside me or behind me, almost breathing down my neck, just waiting for me to notice him. He would also constantly come up with excuses to talk to me about non work related things. I'm naturally a person who is dedicated to whatever work I do, so I tend to try hard.

2) He would constantly try to invite me over, saying how he wanted to "thank me", how he would bake a cake for me and stuff. I'm going to remind you, dude had a girlfriend at that point. Apparently she also didn't know he had a coworker that was his age (me).

3) Oh, yeah. Forgot to say this, but the car situation? At some point he said something along the lines of "I really admire your confidence", because we were talking about how I was supposed to go to an aquapark with a few other coworkers, and apparently Ditto was unknowingly invited as well.

To which I asked him what he meant. Ditto then gestured towards my chest and cleavage and my tight clothing, no words. In case you have a question, yes, I'm fat. So after I tilt my head, he finally continues and becomes flustered and tries to explain that suddenly his mom had breast cancer, so she has always been ashamed of showing herself at such places. I feel bad for his mom, I really do. Especially since my mom had cancer when I was younger. But back then, I really didn't understand what his mom having cancer had to do with me. He was trying to insinuate something, probably, but I cared too little to look into it.

There's probably a lot that I've forgotten, but that's the gist of it. Lucky I didn't have to deal with him for long, since he was supposed to only work during the peak season, plus after it became colder his roommate was driving the car to work (they usually used a bike), so he didn't have to carpool with me. Obviously tried to make a connection, but I'm happy he left me alone after going to his home county.

But yeah, that's the first story!

[exit-path]

Tumblr Post Compilation: A Masterpost

First of all, let me tell you what you're about to see.

This is a list of 118 "funny tumblr posts" taken from YouTube compilations in 2016. I tracked down all these posts on tumblr myself in Nov 2021. The post is broken up into two parts, and is available under the cut. Each of the links is named after a snippet from the actual post (effectively the "punchline"), and clicking on it brings up the full post, which you can reblog and interact with.

These posts are nostalgic to me because I watched these YouTube compilations before I came to tumblr. I recommend you scroll through these posts, as they bring up a form of humor that's rarely seen today which, I think, has almost been lost to time. Also, if you want to learn how to do this, there's some insight as to how I did this at the end of the post.

(This masterpost is a revision of this post, necessitated because the hyperlinks don't work anymore.)

1. outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

2. Italian exchange student said “Look, the compressed horse.”

3. “im eminem!” “and I’m skittles?”

4. I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN

5. he ate the reeses cup then stabbed himself with the epipen

6. “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

7. school on lockdown because someone put weed in the vents

8. Can’t cheat with those big ass galaxy phones

9. weirdly self-conscious about wiper blade speed

10. My brother told me not to slam the door and yell “Guess who’s home, motherfuckers”

11. drove by traffic camera 6 times thinking it was funny

12. drill sergeant made kid carry around potted plant to replace the oxygen he wasted

13. A list of things that do not offend people:

14. kid grabbed seagull out of air, all his friends were like “again tyrone?? really??”

15. “LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS”

16. drunk man proposes to tree, gets rejected

17. “i’m on my way, the traffic is just slow, i’m coming” “mom i called the house phone”

18. a kid’s phone started siri, TEACHER STARTED EXPLAINING IT AGAIN

19. “watch my stuff” what if someone comes and actually tries to steal it

20. our goats think that now whenever they pee they get a treat

21. “it’s for your own good”, mom deleted the internet explorer icon from my desktop

22. a girl called me a lying slut because I was with her bf a lot. we’re siblings

23. I watched an old couple set off their car alarm and drive away… now that i think about it-

24. Rules to learning English: their our know rules

25. a kid got expelled for pretending to be russian for 8 months

26. a girl said she had two moms and a boy started crying, he said it wasn’t fair she had two

27. when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet

28. my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”

29. my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. follow for more geological humour

30. I’m saying “excuse me” but I really mean “why the fu-”

31. nun goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”

32. Hospitals are so weird

33. handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this”

34. on April Fool’s his mom called to say she was in labour, dad laughed and hung up on her

35. “why do I fear bears? because Chester Zoo is 30 miles away and bears can smell fear”

36. dropped her ipad but held tight to her pizza

37. her parents faked a british accent in front of her until she was 7

38. really religious girl who told people off if they swore, gets sworn at

39. he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

40. so i was the official shia labeouf myspace but i was in fact a 12 yr old canadian kid

41. subway thief told suitcase has “a bunch of laptops” ends up stealing a dead dog

42. “I guess working in fast food just wasn’t my cup of tea”

43. I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was

44. so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind

45. my favorite thing is ask 14/15 year old kids on dates if they want a kids menu

46. I blacked out in Disney World, woke up with Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on me

47. “wanna date me? yes: smile no: backflip” and she did a backflip

48. “do you wanna kiss” “excuse me” he pulled out a bag of hershey’s kisses

49. when beyoncé asked all the single ladies to put their hands up I looked at my bf and

50. 7th grade, his world of warcraft friends threw him a virtual birthday party

51. “she’s the bro and y’all bitches are the hoes”

[dilvrc]

leaving them to reach your dream and meeting them after a few years ♡

: : mikey, draken

: : im going to make this as a series

mikey [ taller fem!reader can also be read as gn!reader? i dont think i specified the gender ]

❀ you were in a relationship with him from you're in middle school

❀ in your mind you thought the both of you would break it off when you reach start your highschool but well thing go unexpectedly you grew to love him

❀ until it was your graduating ceremony, lets say you play volleyball and actually make it into u-19 national team *cough* like ushy gushy sort of *cough*

❀ the adviser actually come to your graduation ceremony asking if they can talk to you for a while which you excitedly follow them since you saw them during training one time

❀ and then they got a proposal for you they said they want to recruit you for Olympic and train you everything with one condition

you have to break up with your boyfriend, since they said it might distract you

❀ you were actually find the condition kind of childish but thinking on doing so to fullfill your dream so you told them to let you think for a while and they said they understand then walk away

❀ you come back inside with giddy smile but the gloom in your eyes was noticed by Mikey he bring you into a hug asking if you were okay or not and you said yes

❀ after a few days of avoiding him you ask to meet up he agreed when he saw you the first thing he did was hugging you tight

"i misses you so much why are you avoiding me? did i make you angry" he ask with a pout you look at him sighing you push him away gently

"we need to break up" you said his eyes widened before turn into bored one, Mikey felt like his heart was breaking into billion pieces

he thought you would stay with him apparently not just like the others he should learn nothing last forever

❀ Mikey would try and talk it out with you telling you breaking up was unnecessary and well thing turn out you both break up with promises to stay in touch and make him promise you to never did anything bad

❀ years passed, you both stop keeping in touch since both of you are now busy, Mikey now become the owner of Sano's Dojo while you play for national team as ( position )

❀ then one day lets say ONE DAY!

❀ one day your sister ( pretend you have sister please im on my knee im begging ) who already have a child, you're on break, then suddenly she was very busy with work ( she was divorced and her child is 4 years old )

❀ your sister sent you an address and told you to pick her child up, then you agreed when she will give you food

❀ you drive ( or your preferred transportation ) to the address and arrived at a very familiar place you just ignore it and walk into that place then boom

❀ Sano Manjiro in his coach attire w black hair tattoo on his neck he look so pretty and handsome while you just fawn over him might or might not drool a bit

"y/n!" your sister child exclaim running toward you with a big smile hugging you Mikey ear perk up his head turn to the name people might think he break his neck in process

"y/n" he whisper to himself when you pick up your sister child cooing at them Mikey leave his students before walking toward you "y/n" he said as he took in your appearance you become more beautiful more matured

"oh?" you tilt your head trying to remember who is him "Mikey-sensei!" one of his students still a toddler maybe about in a same age as your sister child your eyes widened

"Mikey?!" you almost yell he look at you with a big smile before you throw yourself to him making both of you laying on the floor with you on top of him

"i miss you so much" you said Mikey hug you close the both of you in your little world until an older student gasp "its y/n l/n!" they said you remove yourself quickly before sitting on the floor "you know me?" you point at yourself their eyes sparkled nodding their head enthusiastically

"YES! my brother always talk about how cool you are he also play volleyball!" they said you smile "really?! want to take a picture with me? you can flex to him later!" you said they nodded you took out your phone when they stop you

"can we use my phone?" they ask you nodded chuckling before they take out their phone you took a few picture with them also giving out a sign on a paper they have before Mikey clear his throat pointing behind him

"your parents is here seems like you're the only student left" he said they giggle thanking you with a hug before running to their parents

"now we can catch up" Mikey said offering his hand you smile as you took his pulling him down so he was on your lap which make him flustered "im still taller than you~" you coo as he look a little bigger than last time you were with in this position

"you're a while damn giant shut up!" he huff you chuckle

❀ your sister child just lookin at the both of you like 🧍🏻 "i wanna go home". so you give Mikey your number ; Mikey make sure you promise to let him take you out for a catch up or maye a date *wink wonk*

draken

❀ lets say ok lets say you decided to leave him when you got accepted to a company as a trainee and you have to leave

❀ so then you thought breaking up would be the best idea since yk maybe your company doesn't want it

❀ so you meet up with him one day asking for a break up of course that caught Draken off guard since he thought he saw how everything was ok nothing bad happen

❀ he decided to let you go since well what else he can do he can't ask you to not to go, he know how much you want to fullfill your dream

❀ since that day the both of you stop talking, and Draken need times so he just do what he regularly do but with more passion, when there's a fight he would knock someone in a punch he would start doing everything as extra as he can

❀ when his friend noticed they saud he should accept the fact and maybe even consider to move on since he knew he can't be with you again if you fullfill your dream

❀ when he want to see you the last time, your mother told him you already leave yesterday

❀ his heart broke so much that he cried silently that night then after that he still think about you but then Emma ( yk where this is going )

❀ she help him like taking care of himself while he's still brokenhearted

❀ meanwhile on your side, you of course love him you did, you also did cried that night after your break up, after moving out, you start your own journey on making your dream come true, which you did reach your dream

❀ debuting and become a member of a successful rookie group, now you're having a tours after years of hard work, and your first tour was held on Tokyo, Japan

❀ you were also recording for your group youtube content, so during your free times you decide it was the best to film a video with the pd permission

you walk with you members holding a camera in hand each all of you decided to spilt into a group before splitting your ways, some of you were searching for food some searching for clothes while your group was walking around not knowing what to do

"what should we do?" you ask they all shrugged "how about waking around here i don't feel hungry yet" one of them said the other nodded

"we should take a few picture!" they pull out their phone while you just went with the flow posing for a few picture it was until someone called your name

"oh!" your eyes lit up before handing the camera on your hand to your teammates "hold this for me a second pretty please i need to talk with my friend" you said excitedly they nodded holding your camera

"and thats our y/n meeting their friend" they said recording you from afar as you smiling widely "a rare sight of y/n" they added more the other nod

you look at Emma with big smile on your face hugging her close "how are you?" you ask she send you a smile back "im fine why didn't you tell me you were coming back" you nervously chuckle

"to be honest im here with my group" you said her eyes lit up "really? did you have schedule or something here?" she ask you nod "we have a concert here" you said she nodded before a voice you really miss called Emma's name

"oh y/n" Draken said you smile at him "you're with Emma?" you ask when Emma give Draken a peck on his lips Draken nodded "yeah" you smile "thats good i know how much Emma like you or more like love" you wiggle your eyebrows Emma giggle while Draken stare at you, you look absolutely stunning

"y/n!" the bodyguard called you thank god for saving you today since you want to walk away as soon as possible you turn your head to your bodyguard you nodded "i have to go seems like we have rehearsal again see you!" you said before jog to your teammates

"lets go" your voice were shaking "i don't feel well" you said taking your camera back turning it off in hurry your teammates give you a sympathic smile before tugging you close to them "lets go" they said leading you away

© dilvrc—any re-uploading are not allowed; meanwhile reblog and like are very appreciated

[katierosedreams2]

Bad driver

“Fuck you Ray” I said as I flicked off my old best friend as I posed for his stupid picture next to his car.

“Shut up. It’s not my fault you lost the bet because you couldn’t drive your car, crashed it, got arrested and then couldn’t pay bail! I own you now you little bitch!” Ray said in a threatening way. 

He was right. I did owe him. I lost the bet we made on the race. The loser had to be humiliated on social media by pretending to be the others' “fast and the furious girl”. It was just supposed to be a joke, just a dude in a skirt or something silly. But when I totaled my car in the race, I got arrested for reckless driving and couldn’t pay my bail. Well that’s when Ray said he would pay for it, but I had to go all out for the bet. I’d have to be a girl full time for enough days until he felt like he was compensated for the money.

I thought it was stupid and ridiculous, but I didn’t have much choice. Ray and I have been friends since we were kids. Even though he’s gay and I’m not, that’s never got in the way of our friendship. We’ve always hung out and had similar interests. He wasn’t a girly gay guy, no, he was a big buff dude with a lot of manly interests. He did like girly gay guys though. He called them “sissy’s” . It always made me uncomfortable how he would comment on how short, or small framed, or even feminine my body and face was. Or how I had such a soft sweet voice.

But that never got in the way of our friendship, he was a nice, fun, kind guy. And he took bets very very seriously. And he took someone owing him money even more seriously. Both him and his older sister ,by two years, did. They were both very wealthy and successful. Their parents died when he was only 19 and I helped him get through it. They both used their millions to start very profitable businesses that grew a lot in only a few years. Ray started a chain of custom car shops and a few gay clubs. And his sister opened up a chain of beauty salons, and bought in on several fashion franchises.

I, on the other hand, was from a very poor family, and I often had odd jobs to pay the bills, but I was mostly unemployed. That was nice though, because we got to hang out all the time. We still play video games and raced our cars around, and now that we have just turned old enough to drink, we go to bars often.

That was until this dumb bet. A lot has changed and it has only been a week. As soon as he paid my bail, he dropped me off at one of his sister's salons where she and her team went to work, completely feminizing me. They styled my already long hair and put in hair extensions to make it even longer. They waxed my whole body, which hurt so badly! They also pierced my ears and gave me big hook earrings. They did my nails and did my make-up. They showed me how to do it. As well as gave me all that I would need to do it every day. I hated this, I didn’t want to learn any of it! I looked like a pretty girl, with my big pink glossy lips and dark smokey eyes with huge lashes. I looked like the kind of girl I’d try to go on a date with. 

Then his sister drove me back to their house. They had a huge mansion and her closet was its own separate room. It looked almost like a mall! And she only wore flashy, trendy, slutty kinds of clothes. To make things worse, I was so skinny. I found out we were the same size! 

She had me try on so many clothes for me to wear during this time. She thought it was so funny. The outfit she told me I had to wear for today was this small white top that said “Fast and Furious” on it in pink writing. She thought it was just too perfect. Then she made me put on this tiny little g string. I knew I wasn’t a big guy down there, but now I could see just how small I was. I completely fit in her little panties, I hardly made a bump. She handed me this micro little pink shiny skirt. She said it matched my lip gloss. It was so weird to slide this small skirt up my legs. Feeling its slippery fabric against my smooth skin. I hated that it actually made me feel feminine and sexy. Last was the thigh high vinyl boots, white, and just as shiny as the skirt with a 4.5 inch heel. I looked like a slut. The kind of girl I’d drool over and wish I could date. I really hated how indistinguishable from a real girl I was. 

 After that humiliation, she packed several girly bags full of clothes and shoes just like this outfit. Then she handed me a little pink vinyl clutch purse that matched the skirt for me to put my phone and wallet in. I looked like a girl going out to a club desperately trying to suck a dick or get laid. I was so embarrassed.

Ray showed up and I took my bags full of cute clothes and makeup and put them in the trunk of his car. He told me I looked beautiful, with this creepy look in his eyes. Like he wanted to fuck me. I was terrified. 

When I got in his passenger seat, he made me sign a document about the conditions of my compensation. I signed it without reading it. He laughed and said “You stupid sissy! You didn’t even read it! Here I’ll read it to you so you don’t have to worry your pretty little head!” 

The conditions are, I have to dress like this every day. At all times, I should be made up and dressed like a girl until I have paid them back in full. I must always have fully manicured hands, and must always be in makeup. I also must always wear high heels. I must also remain hairless from the eyes down. No exceptions.

 Next, I owed him $50,000 for the bail, then I owed his sister $5,000 for the make-over and $1,000 for the make-up. They were marked up because it was a rushed last minute appointment that happened after hours. Then $10,000 for her to lend me her clothes. They were expensive, and there were a lot of them for her to not have for her to wear. Also, I would have them for such a long time. Then another $3,000 to him because he won the bet. 

Conveniently, that worked out to $69,000, he said with a chuckle. Since I didn’t have a job, I could pay it off by working as a part-time intern for his sister's salon for $2 an hour. Also, as a dancer at one of his gay clubs, for $1 an hour plus 0.5% of the tips I make. After all, this was an inconvenience for both of them. And sense I’d be an intern, who don’t NEED to be paid. Also, being a dancer, that counts as entertainment, so I also don’t need to be paid hourly. I should count myself lucky they are even paying me at all.

I did the math as quickly as I could in my head as he told me this. It was hard to think with all of this happening so fast. Even if I worked at his sister's salon 20 hours a week and then danced at his club Thursday through Saturday nights for 6 hours every night, I’d only make $58 a week! I told him “That’s not enough money to even feed myself, let alone pay rent, to get a new car, and pay you back! It would take like 20 years or something to pay you back!?!? How do you expect me to do that!?!?”

He then told me about the bonus opportunity’s.

1-I can post sexy photos and instagram for $1 each. 

2-I could donate all of my male clothes for $100.

3- I could move in with him for $75 a month.

4-I can be his personal maid for $50 a month. I must wear a uniform and complete daily chores. I must also refer to him as master and his sister as mistress. 

5-I could lock my dick in a micro chastity for $250, he holds the keys.

6- I could do daily oral dildo practice for $5 a week. As well as daily anal dildo practice for another $5 a week. Must be recorded for proof. 

7- I can suck his big dick for $10. 

8-I could let him fuck me for $50. 

9-I could get my make-up permanently tattooed for $100. 

10-I can get laser hair removal for $100.

11- I could orally please any man he brings over for $15 a person

12-I could anally please any man he beings over for $60 a person

13-I could take daily female hormones for $5 a week

14-I could get lip injections for $100s

Then he read the added conditions. 

- I must expand and grow my girly wardrobe at my own expense. 

-I must not acquire any clothing that is male.

-I must pay for all of my own manicures, salon visits, makeovers, makeup.

-I must pay for all of my food and transportation

-I must not talk back to Ray.

-I must also pay all of my other bills and loans

-I must ask Ray to get a bonus. This must be recorded, he may also decline my bonus if he feels it’s not deserving.

- if I need money, I can take a loan out from Ray at a 20 percent interest rate.

-failure to complete any of the requirements of this contract will result in legal and criminal actions.

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what had happened to me. Here I was listening to him dressed like a total slut, realizing I had no choice but to legally be his slut! I was required by law to dress like this every day, and the only way to make this not take 20 years was to pretty much be his full-time live-in slutty girly gay boi!!!

Ray laughed as he pulled over in an empty parking lot. He could see the shock and disgust in my pretty make-up face.“So what’s it going to be first sweetie?”he said with a big smile across his face. “ You know what you still owe me that picture we originally bet on! I tell you what, you can beg me for some bonuses first.” He said, taking out his phone, “ but I’ll only let you beg to first do 5, then beg for 3&4,and then you can give me a 7 before we do 2. But only if you ask for them all. Otherwise, it might be a long long time before you get another opportunity. You must ask for them word for word.” He said with the biggest grin. 

He knew he had got me. I could feel all of the anger, frustration, sadness and embarrassment of my situation building. Humiliated, I asked as he recorded on his phone “please, ray, may I lock myself into a micro chastity and give you the keys to keep. Then may I please move into your house and be your maid. Do daily chores while dressed in my uniform and call you master. But before that, my I please..” oh my god I can’t believe I have asked for all of these things! And I couldn’t believe what I’m about to ask next, I thought. I continued realizing how girly I sounded,"...suck your big dick and then go to my house to gather and donate all of my male clothes?”

He chuckled from behind his phone. “Sure thing sissy bitch, open the glove box.”  I did as I was told, the only thing in it was what must be the smallest chastity in the world! It was a steel cage that was maybe half an inch long. I pulled up my sexy little skirt and down the g string. My dick looked so little, and I just about died from the humiliation. I hardly had to stuff myself into it. I handed him the keys and pulled my skirt back. Smoothing it out as best I could with my long fake nails. My cage was so small it almost didn’t make a bump. I could almost cry.

Then he said “That’s not all you begged for baby, let’s get those sexy lips to work!” I couldn’t believe I was going to suck my best friend's dick, while mine was locked way in the smallest cage, and looking like a complete slut. He unzipped his pants and the biggest dick I’ve ever seen popped out! “ Oh my god, your huge!” I couldn’t help myself from saying. “ He just smiled and said “ I know”, then he reached over and grabbed my hair, forcing me down on to it! He was so strong I couldn’t resist! I was trying so hard to but he just kept forcing my head down as his giant dick filled my mouth! I could hardly breathe! 

I thought back to all the time he called me girly. How he complemented my lips or face, saying how feminine they were. Or how he would talk about how thin, weak, and girl like my body was. And then all the times he has told me about how he likes girly boys.

 I never thought that he would make me suck his big dick, and now I know he could have done it all along. He is too strong for me to stop. I have never had a girlfriend. I’ve never lost my virginity. I’ve never even kissed a girl. And how I’m dressed like the woman of my dream, chocking on a massive cock. With mine locked away, maybe forever. All of it being filmed by Ray to have as video proof forever.

I could hardly focus on anything more as my plump, glossy pink lips slid up and down on his huge cock. I did feel my little dick strain against its cage as he called me a “good girl” and a “natural little sissy cocksucker”, then without warning, his dick erupted so much cum into my mouth. He wouldn’t let my head up, I tried to sallow as much as I could. It started to spill out of my mouth. When he finally let me come off of it a little, it just started squirting all over my face. That was it. I really am a sissy cock sucking faggot forever.

As soon as he finished, he told me to get out of the car and pose for my photo. As I stood there tasting his cum in my mouth and feeling it on my face. 

All I could say was “Fuck you Ray”. Not that it changes anything about my future. But that’s all I could do.

-Katierosedreams Og Cap

[no-reply95]

I was scrolling through the Beatles topic on Twitter the other day and came across a tweet from Mark Lewisohn referring to a talk he’d given to the Fab4cast podcast on the Get Back sessions and Spring period of 1969. I assumed that it was a recent talk so I gave it a listen but the talk is actually from 2019.

I tend to find Lewisohn’s podcast interviews to be very interesting. He’s obviously got decades worth of Beatle knowledge stored up so you’re almost guaranteed to learn something new or hear an anecdote that you’ve never heard before but more than the factoids he’s accumulated over the years I find his interpretations of the band extremely telling.

The part of the conversation that really caught my attention was when the podcast hosts brought up the fact that John and Paul’s weddings were really close together and wondered if the two events were connected in any way, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that this probably got the biggest reaction out of Lewisohn, the main points of the exchange are outlined below (time stamp 47:12)

Host: “Well also in this period there are two events, the marriages of John and Paul, within 8 days of each other… I read that John wanted to marry on the 14th, two days after Paul’s wedding but couldn’t do it because of legal issues, how much was his [marriage] a response to Paul’s marriage do you think?”

Lewisohn: “I’ve read that people say that it was but never heard John say that it was so there’s no validity to those claims they’re just people assuming that John didn’t want to be outdone by Paul… that’s the kind of writing that annoys me because it becomes part of the fact and it’s some writer thinking that’s what it probably was… Unless someone out there can find a Lennon quote in which he actually says it in which case I stand corrected and I’ll be very happy to do so”

There’s a lot going on in these quotes so I’m gonna break down my thoughts on this further:

The illusion of John’s honesty

What Lewisohn displays here is something I believe is pretty common within the Beatles’ authorship. I believe in Revolution In The Head Ian McDonald referred to John as “truth” and Paul as “beauty” and I think a lot of writers do tend to assign those attributes consistently to John and Paul. Reading (or listening) to the Lennon Remembers interview now, it’s hard to believe at one stage people took what John was saying as fact and never even questioned whether there were emotions or agenda behind what he was saying, despite the contradictions (“Me and Paul stopped writing together in 1962” vs “Me and Paul worked really closely together on Sgt. Pepper”) and because John was so charismatic and would speak openly in interviews and to people he knew about both the good and bad in his life I think people, and in this case Lewisohn, assume that John told us everything of note that happened in his life, which I don’t think is a realistic expectation of anyone, let alone someone as famous as John. I think it’s problematic to take John’s or anyone else’s words, especially when they’re said in public, as the gospel truth because everyone has an agenda and John was no different. I also think it’s unrealistic to believe that John would ever announce that the reason he and Yoko got married when they did was in any way connected to Paul, that would have sullied the sanctity of “John and Yoko TM”, I mean, how can you be the greatest love story ever if the reason you decided to get married was because your musical partner who you may have unresolved romantic feelings for got married? I don’t think John would publicly embarrass Yoko like that or risk undermining the strength of the brand he was trying to create with his new relationship by admitting that Paul’s marriage spurred them on. That Lewisohn is apparently holding out for a lost interview of John stating that Paul was involved in the timing of his marriage to Yoko just sounds pretty far fetched to me.

The timing of John’s wedding in relation to his and Yoko’s divorces

As discussed in this podcast, Paul and Linda got married (pretty unexpectedly I believe) on 12 March 1969 and John and Yoko got married 8 days later (and apparently they wanted it to be sooner) on 20 March 1969. Aside from the extremely close proximity of John and Paul’s weddings it should be noted that John’s divorce from Cynthia was finalised in November 1968 and Yoko’s from Tony Cox was finalised in January 1969.

So why am I bringing up John and Yoko’s divorces? Because it meant that they were free to marry each other from January 1969, there was no longer a legal issue preventing them and if John’s bursting out in song about it, you would assume that they would have started planning their wedding ASAP… but curiously they didn’t. How do we know John and Yoko weren’t planning a wedding before Paul married Linda? Because once Paul was married John and Yoko started scrambling to get married ASAP, suddenly there was a rush and need to be married that hadn’t existed before, John suddenly wanted to marry Yoko on a ferry but they couldn’t be married there, then John wanted to marry Yoko in Paris but they needed to be resident in Paris for a period of time before they could get married there so eventually they settled on Gibraltar as they could get married there at short notice. Clearly there was a sudden need for John and Yoko to get married that didn’t materialise until around March 1969, am I and countless other people (including Paul himself) crazy for assuming that Paul’s wedding impacted John’s sudden desperate need to be married? If it wasn’t Paul’s wedding, what was it?

Authorial interpretation and assumptions

I’m really fascinated by the visceral reaction Lewisohn had to just the suggestion that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s. For Lewisohn to state it annoys him was pretty shocking to me because, given what is publicly known about this period and the lack of any other logical reason for John and Yoko’s wedding to be so close to Paul’s and Linda’s, I don’t think it’s bad writing to point out the proximity and suggest that the timing was more than a coincidence.

Based on his reaction, you would assume that Lewisohn would be set against any form of interpretation where the principal in question hadn’t confirmed that the interpretation was in fact correct but that would be an incorrect assumption to make. Some of you may be aware of the Hornsey Road shows Mark Lewisohn was giving in 2019 around the 50th anniversary of Abbey Road. During these shows Lewisohn played a clip from the, now infamous, 4-4-4-2 meeting tape and gave a presentation on the Abbey Road period in the Beatles’ history. One of the points Lewisohn raised during the show was that during the sessions, after the car accident in Scotland, a bed was brought into the studio for Yoko so she (and sometimes John) could rest while work on the album progressed. According to Lewisohn, one morning they turned up to the studio and someone had removed one of the legs from the bed, leaving it with 3 legs *dramatic pause* which was him heavily hinting that he thought Paul broke Yoko’s bed on purpose and then bragged about it on the Ram album by including a song called 3 legs, I’m not going to go into the validity (or lack thereof) of this claim but I find it very interesting that Lewisohn was annoyed about authors suggesting that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s but he seems happy to publicly speculate that Paul was sabotaging Yoko’s bed in the studio based on the title of a song that he would release on Ram two years later and nothing else.

Is there any evidence that connects John’s wedding to Paul’s?

I’ve already outlined the suspiciousness of John and Yoko choosing to get married right after Paul, when they had been free to marry for weeks prior but is there any other evidence that either proves that the weddings were connected or is Lewisohn right to deem that suggestion as lacking in validity?

Interestingly there actually is unverified eyewitness testimony that does connect John and Paul’s weddings (something not mentioned by Lewisohn in this podcast). I believe there’s an anecdote from Les Anthony (John’s chauffeur at the time) about him driving John and Yoko around when news of Paul’s wedding suddenly came across the radio, to which John apparently said to Yoko that “we have to get married now”… I couldn’t track down the exact source for that story (if anyone knows the source please let me know) so I’m not sure how credible that anecdote is but, assuming it is accurate, then that would suggest a correlation between John and Paul’s weddings that Lewisohn is adamant doesn’t exist.

Why does this matter?

I do think that this podcast interview could be indicative of a few future concerns I personally have around the way the Beatles discourse will progress in the future. Firstly, this was only a podcast interview so it’s unlikely that when Lewisohn releases the final book in his trilogy that he’ll discuss the weddings in this manner (I.e. although he’s adamant the timing of John’s wedding had nothing to with Paul he failed to offer any sort of explanation regarding why John and Yoko were rushing to get married when they’d had weeks to prepare a wedding).

It’s a slight worry that Lewisohn seems to believe that John announced every single thing that happened in his life of note, especially concerning Paul and Yoko. If John had told us everything of interest about him, surely his Dakota diaries would be the basis of a Netflix series by now and not locked away in a vault (assuming they haven’t already been destroyed). To me, like several authors before him, Lewisohn seems to be mistaking John’s emotional honesty with factual honesty. It didn’t escape my attention that several clips of the Lennon Remembers interview were inserted into this podcast and Lewisohn quotes extensively from it in Tune In as well. There’s nothing wrong with using Lennon Remembers as a source but if you do use it you should be analysing the veracity of what was said as we know that John was in a torched earth mentality at that time and even he himself has said what he said in that interview wasn’t meant as a timeless manifesto. It’s a shame that given his ability of analyse sources Lewisohn has never (to my knowledge) critically analysed Lennon Remembers, given that other sources have been analysed this makes LR a strange omission.

Finally, Lewisohn does tend to make some good insights and does have the ability to read between the lines (I.e. him noting Paul’s tendency to say “we” when in most cases he means himself) but with John I do think he has a bit of a blindspot. Why Lewisohn is happy to speculate without evidence in some cases (3 legs) but he draws the line at the suggestion that John and Paul’s weddings being connected is anyone’s guess. If Lewisohn can turn his attention to reading between the lines with John and the other Beatles too and connecting the dots then we should get a Beatles biography that finally addresses a lot of the issues we cover on this site. However, if we take the approach of only using John and Yoko’s PR to understand the events that transpired before and after the band broke up then the story hasn’t moved much further than 1970 and given all that we know now I think that would be a huge shame.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

you’re my living proof my love is alive

for @eddiediaz HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY <33

read on ao3

“Did you ever think we’d get here?”

Eddie opens his eyes, the shade of the tree they’re under saving him from an assault of sunlight. He’d been dozing off and on, lulled by the warm day and the soft breeze and Buck’s fingers raking through his hair where his head rested on his lap. But something about Buck’s voice — not a sadness, not an edge, but something — wakes him up fully, and he rolls onto his back to look up at Buck’s face. He follows where Buck’s eyes have landed — on their family, spread out around them, absorbed in their own conversations while kids flit in and around them like over excited butterflies. He’s looking at them wistfully and in some sort of awe, and Eddie waits for him to elaborate.

“To the park?” he asks slowly when it looks like an explanation isn’t coming. “It’s like a 10 minute drive from our house.”

Buck tugs his ear, fighting and losing to the smile spreading on his face. “No, asshole. I mean all of this. Our family. You and me. Did you ever imagine we’d get a life like this?”

The breeze seems to blow a little cooler as Eddie takes that in, because honestly? No. All of this, the joy that he’s found here, is brighter and better than anything he ever let himself dream about.

And it’s not that he never thought he’d be happy or filled with some kind of lightness. It just wasn’t a priority — not when he had a team to lead or a marriage to try and fail to fix or a kid to take care of on his own. Everything and everyone else came first because those were things he could handle, tangible things with some kind of concrete solutions, the direct opposite of the amorphous, unreachable discomfort that always seemed to sit right at the base of his skull. And there were moments of joy, especially with Christopher — his smile, his laugh, the way he lit up at any opportunity to learn something new. Those were good moments, great moments, and Eddie treasured all of them, locking them up tight in his heart because they were sometimes the only things that got him through the day.

But still. No matter what, at the end of the day, he’d find himself in bed, surrounded by silence, fighting off the aching loneliness that grew stronger as the sun went down. Only then would he let himself indulge — he’d imagine a dip in the mattress next to him, warm skin begging for his touch, craving that feeling of being wanted by someone else despite the demons and nightmares that still haunted him.

He doesn’t really know if it made the loneliness better or worse.

Moving to LA helped — a fresh start for both of them, more opportunities, no one hovering over his every move waiting to swoop in the minute he made a mistake. He felt lighter, excited even, like maybe now things would actually turn around for him, like maybe he was ready to fill that space that sat in his heart. Maybe Shannon coming back was a sign that she was supposed to fill it the whole time, just like he thought when they were 19.

But then she left, permanently, just as quickly as she came, and suddenly he wasn’t sure of anything his heart or soul was telling him anymore.

So he threw himself back into what he knew best — being there for everyone else. Whether at work or with Chris, his focus was solely on the outside, ignoring any pangs of longing or indulgences because they didn’t matter. A person could only survive so many broken hearts in their lives, and he’s certain that watching the life fade out of Shannon’s eyes with no way of stopping it was the last one he’d be able to handle. It wasn’t a waste, this focusing on other people, and he wasn’t unhappy — how could he be when he had the best kid, the best friend, the best family that he’d cobbled together for himself, that had saved him time and again without even knowing it?

The loneliness lingered, though. It wrestled with the fear he felt so hard sometimes it blew the breath right out of his lungs. He thought he did an okay job of hiding it until Bobby sat him down and told him it was okay to move on, that it was okay to want to let someone in, to not carry the burdens on his own anymore. And he knew that, rationally, but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that in the moments when his resolve cracked, his indulgences were no longer faceless. They had broad shoulders and strong arms, a halo of curls and eyes so blue they put the ocean to shame. 

The problem was that this person was real and solid, an unshakeable presence in his and Chris’ world who smoothed out creases and stitched up tears in a way that was helpful, not in a way that made Eddie feel guilty for letting things get creased in the first place.

The problem was that the person his stupid, lonely heart had let in, without his consent, without him even noticing, was the person he knew would shatter his heart into a billion, unrepairable pieces if he ever lost him. 

So he settled instead. 

He found someone who was nice and low maintenance and good with Chris and it was enough. Or almost enough. Or as close to enough as he felt he deserved.

He feels another tug at his ear. “Did I lose you? Pretty sure your eyes just glazed over for like two minutes.”

Nothing he does gets past Buck, that’s for sure, and the knowledge of that warms him better than the sunshine. He reaches up and threads their fingers together, kissing the back of Buck’s hand before resting both on his chest, over his heart. He sighs, eyes slipping closed again. “Sorry. Zoned out for a second.”

“And forgot my question,” Buck says, squeezing his hand. “So did you? Imagine this? Or something like it, I guess.”

He’s better with words than he used to be, can be straightforward with his feelings without breaking out into a cold sweat. But still, these words stick, because years and countless therapy sessions later, he knows exactly how deep the darkness went back then, and he hates thinking about it. Hates remembering the full body ache of loneliness, how dull and bleak it made everything seem.

But also, he can’t — won’t — lie to Buck, and he’s warm enough now, surrounded by sunlight and laughter and Buck’s hand on his chest, that he’s not worried about being pulled under again.

“No,” he finally says. “I didn’t let myself think about anything like this for a really long time. But when I finally did, it was never as good as the real thing.”

Buck hums but doesn’t say anything else. He traces carefully over Eddie’s knuckles and the back of his hand, and Eddie almost falls asleep again. 

“What changed your mind?” Eddie opens his eyes and Buck’s looking down at him now, an intense curiosity in his eyes, like he was just cycling through everything he knows about Eddie trying to figure out what made him believe in love again.

Knowing Buck, he probably was.

Eddie’s happy to save him the trouble. “I got shot,” he says simply, and Buck’s hand finally stills. Eddie reaches up, cupping Buck’s cheek, relishing in the way he automatically leans into his palm.

“I got shot,” he says again, “and you saved me, in every way you possibly could.”

It’s true — it wasn’t the first time a bullet had found a path through him, or even the first time he’d seen his life flash before his eyes. But as he lay there in the street, hot asphalt underneath him, weaker by the second, the only things running through his head were Chris and Buck and ChrisandBuck, and his only regret was that Buck didn’t know — about his guardianship of Chris, about how he made Eddie feel something like hopeful for the first time in years, any of it.

As his vision blacked out, Buck’s face streaked with blood and panic was the last thing he saw, and he vowed to make sure Buck knew everything if he made it out of this.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy. 

After he woke up, with Buck’s name on his lips but Ana’s hand in his, everything became a waiting game. 

He waited for Buck to show up at the hospital, out of breath but still so dazzling, his very presence making Eddie feel like he could run a marathon right then. 

He waited for them to finally be alone so they could talk, but only got through telling him about the guardianship before Buck got a text from Taylor that made him smile so softly the rest of Eddie’s speech died in his throat. 

He waited to break it off with Ana long enough that he didn’t seem like a jackass, waited as Buck and Taylor flew higher and higher before crashing, waited for days and weeks and months, waited, waited, waited. 

But it didn’t hurt. All that time, it wasn’t excruciating, it didn't feel like a waste, because he knew from the minute he woke up that he was waiting for something. He could feel the anticipation burning up inside him, and it wasn’t going to be for nothing this time. 

Finally, finally, just as naturally as they had fallen into each other’s lives the first time, they fell together again — in the dim light of Eddie’s kitchen, empty beer bottles and raw, unfiltered words between them, reliving the day they hadn’t been able to talk to each other about for the past nine months. Eddie’s hands shook and Buck took them in his and Eddie knew this was his moment. 

He looked Buck dead in the eye and said, “You’re the reason I’m sitting here right now, and I’m in love with you.”

The evening air crackled in the silence, and neither of them moved. Eddie was pretty sure even his blood had stopped flowing as he waited, until suddenly everything snapped. 

Suddenly they were both leaning in, suddenly they were kissing and whispering I love yous soft and desperate across each other’s skin.

Suddenly everything began.

He shakes his head a bit as he comes back to the present. Buck doesn’t say anything this time, just smiles and kisses the center of Eddie’s palm where it’s still resting on his cheek, tangles their fingers together again before placing them back on Eddie’s chest. 

“You saved me too, you know,” Buck says quietly. “I wasn’t the one who got shot, but still, you did. You always do.”

“Always will,” Eddie says, because it’s true, and the easiest promise he’s ever made. Buck is his hope, his light in the dark, every other cheesy cliche, and Eddie will work for the rest of his life to make sure Buck feels safe and loved. It’s the least he could do for all that Buck has given him.

They lapse back into quiet, enjoying the sounds of the park and their family, and Eddie feels something he's been too afraid to name until now, a holdout from years of guarding himself.

He’s happy. Truly, with no caveats or strings attached, unbelievably happy.