#it took me a few days submitting this since I wasn't sure how much I would add into the posts (here and on ig)

[dedalvs]

I HATE BEARDS!

I hear this. I think I have the same reaction to both beards and makeup: sometimes they enhance a person's appearance, but the texture is something I can't abide, and this is how I knew both beards and makeup were not for me. In fact, this was how I knew back as a kid that I didn't really want to go into acting. Actors need to wear makeup to look natural on screen with all the different environments they appear in lit in all different types of ways—and this goes for all productions, not just those with monster makeup, etc. In fact it also goes for most live shows. When I'm on a TV show and I'm given the choice, I'll usually ask to not have any makeup, but sometimes you gotta.

It took a while to realize but I'm extremely sensitive to textures. I hate the feeling of cardboard, concrete, blacktop... I used to use lotion on my arms and legs everyday. Once I started growing body hair, I started to get a lot of leg hair, in particular, and using it on my legs became very uncomfortable because of rug burn, for lack of a better term. I had to stop doing it.

When I was writing The Art of Language Invention—especially as I was moving into the final push—I started having an adverse reaction to my trackpad. It got so bad that I actually found an app that allowed me to use my phone as a trackpad. When the feeling later went away (after the manuscript was submitted) this was when I realized that there was a strong mental component to my texture aversion. That's helped me since—to know that a lot of it is in my mind.

Still, it's not enough for me to intentionally inflict a beard on myself. I know it wouldn't look too bad, but the feeling of it is too much. As fate would have it, I grew into a person who can basically never be clean shaven. It's often a point of pride when facial hair comes in around puberty, and I was one of those who was proud of my few little chin hairs, and happy to be able to use the Gillette razor that mysteriously arrived in the mail one day(*). It was a fun novelty. But then after not too long (a year, if that) I realized that if I didn't shave everyday, I would soon actually have facial hair. Not good facial hair (there wasn't enough of it), but it would be there. If I went without shaving for a single day it would look similar to others who hadn't shaved for a week. And it only got worse after that. if I ever stopped shaving for an entire week I'd have a full beard. If I ever fall into a coma, I will leave strict instructions that I'm to be shaved before resuscitation. I can't wake up to that.

So, yes, anon. Your sentiment is something with which I can assuredly vibe.

(*) I don't know if it happens anymore, but most kids in my school district simply had a Gillette razor mailed to their home. We didn't sign up for it; we didn't ask for it. It just arrived—and at slightly different times. I remember coming to school one day after receiving a razor and telling my friends how crazy it was that I just got this razor in the mail, and they were all, "I got one too!" The one friend said he didn't and felt left out, but sure enough, two days later, he had one, too! To this day none of us know how or why this happened, but the majority never bought a razor or received one as a gift or had a parent buy it: it just showed up to our houses one day.

[mitamicah]

Are You? Uno Reverse Card. Hockey Jerseys? How many more things will these two change the meaning of for me x'D!?

This artwork is drawn to celebrate that after months of dreaming and hoping beyong belief the 'Are You' tattoo saga has concluded with me getting both Bojan and Jere's handwriting (featured in the art as well) inked permanently on my art August 13 2024 😱😭💚💙

For the curious I'll post the full timeline of the saga below the line :3

May 7 2023; Two idiots go out together during the preshow days of Eurovision 2023. Their banter birth this iconic phrase

May-October 2023; Saying Are You in the right cadence (after this called to ‘are you’/’are you-ing’) becomes one of my favourite vocal stims

October-November 2023; The idea of an Are You tattoo is born in my mind.

November 28 2023; Joker Out announces their upcoming Europe tour.

December 1 2023: I buy Early Access tickets to Joker Out’s Malmø gig naively thinking it includes Meet and Greet (and that it would be the only show I attend – I end up going to four in total). Mentally planning to ask Bojan to contribute to the tattoo.

January-February 2024; I realize MnG is not included in the ticket- changes plans to make a sign for the show.

March 15 2024; Bojan sees my sign at the soundcheck of the Malmø gig and agrees to it within half a sentence (ends up writing it twice).  Afterwards I’m lucky enough to hug and thank him. Plus, we Are You together for what seems like minutes.

March-April 2024; I make a few concept art for the tattoo using both Bojan’s sentences that I share on social media. A friend (hi @feral4kaarijasquat) suggests trying to get Jere involved.

Story 5 - March 22 2024; I get a tattoo to memorize following Joker Out around in march. I end up half promising the tattoo artist that she can work on my Are You tattoo as well when/if I manage to get Jere’s attention.

May 4 2024; I take a sign with me to the Käärijä Böle Arena shows yet despite being on the second and third row I fail to get his attention.

Spring-summer 2024; Käärijä announces upcoming Europe tour where I buy ticket for Hamburg. After the disappointing and stressful experience at Böle I decide to put my tattoo hunting on hold for the summer.

July 3 2024; Gets first row to Käärijä’s homegig at Ravintola Backas, Vantaa. Jere sees and acknowledge me twice, including Are you-ing me. (This is important because it showed me that getting his attention was possible).

July 5 2024; Makes spontaneous sign out of half a pizza lid to bring to Käärijä’s Allas Sea Pool gig. Two songs into the setlist Jere Are You the crowd, then sees the sign (I’d put in the air that second) and jokingly half-agrees to write it on my ass. With the help of a wonderful finn I go home with Jere’s handwriting after that concert (also waves at Jere by the fence outside of the venue).

July-August 2024; I put together the finished concept art and contact the tattoo artist. I’d asked for a possible appointment on September 20 (if you know, you know) but she is unable to make it.

August 13 2024; I am contacted by the tattoo artist about a spontaneous appointment – within two hours after our first message I have gotten the tattoo.

[boyfiejay]

omg the jungwon soulmate au was so cute 😔 i was wondering if you could do one for sunoo?? <3

Thank you for sending an ask! This took me so long, im so sorry. Love you <3

Soulmate AU

PAIRING : Sunoo x gn Reader

GENRE : Soulmate au, fated to be

Warning : mention of drink(no names), almost road accident, reader calls him pretty like 10 times

Word Count : 1.1k

Author's note : lowk wrote this in a hurry so it isn't the best :((

Jungwon version

Working in a café in your junior year of high school was probably the dumbest decision you've made. Well, in your defence, last year when you started working, it was a nice distraction. The cafe wasn't very popular, the same few faces greeting you everyday.

But a couple months ago, a local influencer made a post about the cafe and the once silent and comforting cafe was constantly bombarded with people.

You were happy for the raise, but not for the increased work.

The only reason your parents haven't asked you to quit yet is because this job makes you meet new people everyday. 'Parents and their obsession with soulmates' you thought, and continued wiping the table.

Yeah, soulmates. When you turned 10 you were presented with a bracelet with a pretty charm, your soulmate has a bracelet with similar or identical charm on it. You remember being excited to meet yoir soulmate just like your parents. When you meet your soulmate, the charms link together and let go whenever they please.

When you meet your soulmate, you feel like you've known them forever and suddenly feel so much adoration for them, yada yada (you've heard this for years)

Now that you're older, you aren't as much excited, all because you remember seeing people all over each other, practically eating each other's faces throughout your high school days.

Today was one of the few days that it was actually peaceful, only a handful of people coming in. It had been over half an hour since no one came and you were honestly getting tired of wiping the same floor and same tables.

Just then the bell attached to the door chimed as someone made their presence known. The person stood in front of the counter looking at the menu and wondering what to order, but all you could think about was how pretty this guy is.

His beauty could single handedly defeat all of your past crushes, combined.

Before you literally start drooling at him, he opened his mouth to place his order and started taking out the money for it. God even his voice was pretty, were you going to get a crush on a random stranger you probably would never meet.

Taking your eyes off his breathtaking form, you hurried to make his drink. In record time the drink was in front of him, even he looked surprised as to how you made it so fast.

He handed you the money, something shiny on his wrist caught your eye. You returned his change and observed his wrist.

It looked too much like yours.

Before you could be out of your trance and open your mouth, he had thanked you with the prettiest smile and was hurrying out the door.

For the next week you couldn't get the pretty stranger out of your mind. All your thoughts circled back to whether his charm was really similar to yours. To be fair, a lot of people had similar looking charms, just enough difference that you wouldn't catch in a hurry. Sure his must have been different.

But you couldn't shake off this feeling that there was more to it, you just wanted to run to him and confirm it yourself. But where would you go? You didn't know his name, or his age, or which school (or uni) he went to.

Today was one of the worst days you've had this whole month. Firstly your teacher suddenly announced that you needed to submit a lengthy assignment tomorrow, then your locker door won't open and you were late to class. It seemed that you had pissed your teacher a lot considering you were sent to detention, and then your regular bus had missed.

After waiting about 20 minutes, the next bus arrived, you got on and walked to the very back of the bus to sit. You almost cursed out loud when you saw who was sitting in the row beside yours, almost.

It was the guy from the café! He had his earphones plugged in as he was hurriedly typing on his phone. The charm on his bracelet caught your attention, it really did look like yours.

Again, before you could speak up, thr bus had stopped and he was walking towards the door. He was going to get off!

You weighed your options for 2 seconds before you were also walking out.

He was walking away still immersed in texting, his whole attention on his screen. God what kind of tea did he get to have that much attention on texting.

Just then you saw a car speeding on the road, the road this guy was going to walk on!! You ran towards him, pulling his shirt collar just in time as the car zoomed past. You pulled him far away from the road.

He began coughing due to the pressure on his neck as you panted from the running. He threw a confused look towards you and before he could open his mouth you said, "A car was speeding, you would've gotten run over."

He probably didn't notice anything due to the earphones still plugged in. Noticing his neck slightly turn red you apologised. But he was quick to brush it and thank you for saving him.

It was awkward for a moment, till he noticed your gaze on his wrist. In turn he looked at yours, immediately softly grabbing your wrist to inspect your bracelet.

"You're.. We are.." he muttered, not being able to finish his thoughts.

"Yeah. Yeah we are." you nodded.

He hesitantly brought up his wrist to link your charms together. Although you already knew that you were soulmates, this was a process that made your bond stronger.

As the charms linked together, he looked up to meet your eyes. God even his eyes were pretty, long lashes and everything. This man was perfection, and he was your soulmate?

"I'm Sunoo, Kim Sunoo. Are you free right now? I mean, we don't really have a choice since this will not let go just now." he said, although borderline rambling, his voice remained soft and soothing.

You couldn't stop the smile on your face as it was finally dawning upon you that you found your soulmate. You nodded at him as he gave you one of his smiles that might even put the sun to shame.

"Let's go then! I'll show you my favourite places and you show me yours." he said, his voice more high pitched as he became excited. A slight bounce in his step as he grasped your hand, his fingers weaving through yours.

[francis-writes]

Imagine growing up with Ramsay (gn!reader)

tw: first part platonic, later incest

you were another one of Roose's bastard, forgotten by your father. He conceived you in similar time to Ramsay, so you were maybe one year older or younger than your brother. And in some way, maybe by gossip, maybe you lived nearby, your mother eventually found out that miller's wife also raises lord Bolton's child and they decided that living together would probably be easier than being a single mother. well, that idea was to be tested.

when you first meet each other with Ramsay, you were around 3-4 years old and at the beginning it didn't went well. Most small kids are eager to fight so everything goes their way, and none of you were exactly peaceful or ready to submit to the new member of the family.

who knows how long would this situation last if not the help of other children in the village. well, help isn't the best word because one day they started picking on you, taunting you and pushing around. Ramsay could not be the most fond of his half-sibling, but you were his still his family and he didn't like other people bullying his sibling (you can take it as "if you insult my family, you insult me" or Wednesday's "only i can torment my brother", whatever you please) so he got in a fight with those kids.

maybe if some adult noticed that, you used your sweetnes and charm to convince them that you and Ramsay are completely innocent. or maybe you just both got in trouble.

anyway, you were grateful for him. This day your mothers were in shock when they saw their usually bickering kids come home, holding hands together.

that moment was kind of a breaking point in your relationship. you were still a few year olds, but after that you started actually liking each other. You still got in fights every once in a while, but now you started spending most of the time together and pay attention to each other hobbies. As you grew up, you accompanied Ramsay in the woods. Even if you didn't like to hunt, you just stayed with him, watching as he hunted animals and later gutted them. If you were taught reading and enjoyed it, Ramsay let you read to him out loud.

i think he didn't have much friends growing up, if he had any. so he felt really lonely and treated bad because of his bastard status. I suppose the original Reek was the closest thing he had to a friend. and of course, you can't completely change a human. Ramsay was born with sadistic and angry tendencies, but he wasn't born a complete monster. So I believe that having someone close to him since childhood, someone who supported him and cared for him would make him grow up to be, well, not good, but a bit softer. More patient, able to better control his outbursts.

and perhaps you both took a liking in each other, something more than most siblings share. It would start innocently, from cuddling like normal sibling, later more bold kisses, until one day, when you were older, you sneaked into Ramsay's bed. Or perhaps you found some privacy on a meadow, in the forest or in the barn, just like you would do many times later. You were each other's first everything, and Ramsay would make sure that he remained your only men. Moreover, I have a theory that if you were so close since childhood, he would grow so obsessed with you, that perhaps he wouldn't be interested in any other lovers later (like Jaime with Cersei).

if one day he was taken to Dreadfort, Ramsay would make sure you went with him. if Roose decided to arrange a marriage for you, to create an alliance, Ramsay would protest angrily and probably made sure that your fiance had an unfortunate accident.

also! when Domeric came to met his siblings, perhaps you managed to convince Ramsay to leave your brother alive. And maybe Domeric convinced Roose to bring you both to the castle, which is my dream scenario, because i love imagining potential dynamic between three siblings.

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐁𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 - 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨 [𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔]

Notes: the gif makes me think of the "i got it" moment between Mike and Leo. You'll understand when you read it. My writing is rusty and this is unedited because I'm lazy, so it might be shit. :D Possibly part one? I might write a part two- idk yet. I was in the mood for angst and this has been sitting in my drafts for literally ages so I figured I'd finish it up and post it since it's also been ages since I've posted a TMNT imagine! ALSO- REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN! If you would like to submit a request, please do so via asks, and please read my rules on my blog before hand, thank you! &lt;33

Warnings: mature language, ANGST, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol, mental/emotional abuse, mentions of depression, brief mentions of self harm, etc.

Tags: @thelaundrybitch @rheawritesforfun @digitl-art-monstr @leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83 @mysticboombox @drowninghell @squirrelfurs @lec743 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @bibiz82 @raphslovemuffin80 @raphielover @tmntspidergirl

(If you would like to be tagged in my future TMNT realted posts (let me know if you want just reader insert stuff or if you want OC related content included) feel free to lemme know and I'll happily add you!)

Thank you for reading! Have a lovely day/night! Stay safe and make sure to take care of yourselves! I'm sending all the virtual hugs to you~! <3

***

Her gaze was locked onto the screen of her phone. She had opened her camera app to double check her appearance before going in, but what she saw caught her off guard. The large purple bags under her eyes, the paleness of her skin. All the weight she had lost was visible in her face alone, no matter how hard she had tried to hide it under baggy clothes. She didn't need anyone worrying about her. She could take care of herself... Y/n knew she hadn't been sleeping well. Not at all, actually. The only time she got the chance to get some rest was when she passed out from sheer exhaustion. Was it unhealthy? Oh absolutely. But she couldn't help herself. It didn't help that she worked two jobs. Ever since her father got fired, she was the one who had to keep everyone afloat. It was driving her mad.

Taking in a shaky breath, she shoved her phone back into her sweater's pocket and began to walk the rest of the way to the lair. It wasn't far. It didn't take long at all for her to get there. Once she stepped inside, she was greeted by the smell of pizza. Her stomach turned and she felt nauseous immediately. Y/n hadn't told anyone that she had gone on a diet. Not yet, anyway. Nor did she tell them she had stopped eating much at all. She was fine, they didn't need to know.

Y/n tucked a few strands of loose hair behind her ear, she took in another shaky breath before walking up to where they were. Their voices were loud and expressive. Raphael let out a bark of laughter, slapping Mikey on the shell in amusement. Leo was busy talking with April, and Casey was stuck chatting with Vern. It was Donatello who had noticed her first. "Hey, Y/n! We were starting to think you wouldn't make it!" He greeted with a cheerful smile.

She tried not to flinch under their sudden gazes. Pulling her lip between her teeth anxiously. God, she felt like vomiting. She needed to leave. "Yeah! You're late dude! What took you so long!?" Michelangelo whined, walking over and moving to sling an arm across her shoulders. She ducked under him before he got the chance.

"N-Nothing, really. Just took my time." Y/n shrugged, shuffling over towards the rest of them hurriedly. She had been dodging their embraces recently, and they were starting to notice. Mikey pursed his lips in a pout, missing the skeptic look on his brother's faces. They had all been brushing off her behavior, but this had been going on for what felt like forever. She was starting to look worse each time they saw her. There was one turtle who knew more than the other's. One who had suspected something was off a lot sooner than everyone else. Leonardo watched Y/n closely. Blue eyes practically glued to her.

"What kind of pizza would you like? We got meat lovers, cheese, veggie-" she cut Donnie off. "None, thanks. I'm uh, dieting." She shrugged, rocking on the balls of her feet nervously. Y/n could feel his eyes boring into her. Her heart rate increased rapidly. Pounding against her rib cage in a desperate plea to flea. Don looked at the other's briefly before turning his gaze back to the female. He nodded slowly, "Okay. Um, would you like something else?" Y/n's hands tightened in her pockets, curling into fists. She simply shook her head. "No thanks.. Not hungry.."

The room grew oddly silent for a few beats. Vern coughed obnoxiously into his elbow just to clear the silence. Leo had yet to look away from Y/n. It made her feel more nervous than anything else. Why was he starring at her? Couldn't he look somewhere else? Just when she was about to say or do something she'd definitely regret, Casey had spoken up. "So, uh, Y/n- I saw your dad today." Her head snapped towards him in a matter of seconds. It was a wonder how she didn't get whiplash. "You did? Where?"

She sounded nervous, and the other's picked up on it immediately. Raph and Donnie caught each other's gaze before the red clad turtle looked towards their leader. Leo was silent and observing. He stood still with his arms folded over his chest. Lips pressed into a flat line and brow ridge lightly furrowed. Raphael watched his brother closely, but his attention was moved else where as the conversation continued.

Casey, who was glad to get away from Vern, stepped forwards. Snatching himself up another slice of pizza. "Convenience store, on West Street. I was grabbing the drinks for today and bumped into him. His hand was all bandaged up, apparently he went to the ER today." He said before taking a merry bite out of the delightful pie. Y/n's gaze darkened.

Stop talking. Shut up. Don't say another word. Please. She all but begged, starring at him numbly. She knew this already. She was the one who dropped him off at the hospital. If it were possible, Y/n felt sicker than before. Her hands began to shake, she was just glad they were hidden in the pockets of her hoodie. She bit her tongue to stop from bolting. Everyone else was quiet, listening to Casey's story. Looking between the both of them as he spoke. She wanted to cry. "I know." She said, barley managing to get the words out.

Casey didn't seem to catch on. Or if he did, he continued to speak about it anyway. "So you know he put his hand through a window?" He was looking at her intensely, hell everyone was. Especially Leo. His gaze felt like fire, burning holes into her skull. She wanted to combust into flames. Right then and there.

"Yeah. Anything else." Y/n's tone grew bitter, and she couldn't help but glare at him. Hoping, praying, that he would just drop it and leave her alone. Casey ignored her. "Well, I know it's your mom's birthday. And I know it's been hard for the both of you. So y'know, we just wanted to check in." He gestured towards all of them, and she barley managed to peek towards them. Had they been talking about her?

"Casey-" April warned, shaking her head subtly at him. Either he didn't see it, or he ignored her as well. "And he was very charming. But he seemed kind of sad. I'd hate to see it happen again, so maybe you should keep a better eye on him." Was he serious? He couldn't be fucking serious, right? Y/n felt like she had swallowed cotton balls. Her nails punctured her skin and she igno red the light stinging. She was staring at a random crumb on the table. Gazing at it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Completely and utterly silent.

Leo's arms unfolded and he took a step towards her, but she quickly turned her gaze back to Casey. "Everyday is my mother's birthday.." She started, gaze icy, voice venomous. Leo stopped in his tracks, everyone was looking at her, but she focused on Casey solely. "My mother was born in December. He lied. He's a liar." Tears glazed at the corners of her eyes but she's refused to let them fall. Voice rising in anger.

"And I'm glad- really, I'm glad that you found him charming. I'm sure he was delightful. He's a blast after five drinks. Not so much after nine though, he get's a little weepy and mean." Mikey's eyes widened and he looked towards his older brother's worriedly. She hadn't uttered a word of this before, it was the first time anyone was hearing it. Leo's jaw clenched but she hadn't noticed it. Too busy focusing all her pent up anger on Casey. "He's a drunk. He probably came in and told you how wonderful you are. How he wished he could have a son like you. And how sad he is because he doesn't get to spend more time with me." She hadn't meant to cry, but the tears had started to slip down her pale cheeks. Y/n wiped at them angrily.

Casey stood there in shock, taking in her angry words carefully. He didn't dare say anything, all he did was look at her and take it. "Yesterday he said that I was his favorite daughter. The day before, I was an ungrateful bitch. The week before- he wrote me a check fortwenty thousand dollarsbecause he said I deserved everything life had to offer. Because he was so proud of me. A lifetimes worth of proud..." her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled. Y/n looked down, forcing her hair to partially hide her face. She tried to collect herself as she wiped at her tears with her sleeve. "You can't listen to a word that man says. Everything that comes out of his mouth is about as many bottles as he can stomach before he either vomits it up or passes out."

"But thank you for telling me to keep a better eye on him." Y/n shook her head and turned on her heal. Storming out of the room and out of the lair altogether. She was tired of all this bullshit.

"Y/n! Wait!" Mikey moved to go after her but Leo clamped a hand down onto his shoulder. "I got it..." He muttered, casting an annoyed glance at Casey from over his shoulder before he chased after the h/c female.

"Well that was a train wreck." Vern muttered, wincing at the glare Casey shot in his direction. "How was I supposed to know." He hissed. "It's not like Y/n's a very open person."

"We all knew something was up, I'm sure Casey just wanted to make sure she was okay." April said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Case smiled at her briefly in thanks.

"I wish she would have said something..." Donnie whispered, twiddling his 'thumbs' nervously. "Maybe we could have helped her somehow."

"Y/n's stubborn. She doesn't wanna rely on anyone else. She doesn't wanna be a burden." Raph grumbled, shrugging his shoulders. "Still. I wish she would lean on us a little more. I'd like ta give her father a piece of my mind." He huffed.

Michelangelo's lips pulled into a frown. "You.. You don't think he hits her, do you?" The room fell silent, and everyone turned their gazes towards the area she had left.

"Leo'll make sure she's okay." Don spoke quietly, hands clenching each other desperately.

━

She knew he was following her. But he didn't approach. Not in the sewers, and not outside of them, either. He was waiting for the right time. Giving her a chance to cool off. If anything, the fact that Leo had come after her only pissed Y/n off more. She didn't want to get a lecture from him. She didn't want to rant. She wanted to lay in bed and cry. And she wanted to do it alone.

Y/n managed to hold herself together pretty well. She only let a few tears and sniffles slip out on her way back home. She lived in a sketchy part of the city in a small and dinky apartment. It was her, her two sisters Lucy and Amelia, and their father. Her mother had died a few years back. Her father was never the same after that. He ended up losing the job he had since before he met his wife. He couldn't keep a job afterwards, either. And he started drinking. He drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Any little bit of money he made went straight into alcohol. Lucy was the youngest, she had yet to start high school. Amelia was the oldest. She spent most of her time at her home with her fiance and their newborn son. She couldn't stand to even look at their father. She refused to see him. They always fought, too. Amelia wanted to take Y/n and Lucy with her, but Lucy was in custody of their father. And Y/n refused to leave him to rot.

Y/n's keys jingled as she pulled them from her pocket and jammed them into the deadbolt on the door of her apartment. She knew Leo would already be inside when she entered. And if not, then he was waiting on her fire escape.

The door slammed shut behind her, she kicked her shoes off by the door and walked further inside. There was no sight of her father, so he must be out. Most likely at the bar down the street. It was within walking distance and it was the weekend. There was no way he wouldn't be there. Lucy was sleeping over at Amelia's for the weekend, which meant she was home alone.

The thought would have been extremely comforting had Leonardo not been lurking around the corner.

She passed through the kitchen and walked down the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. Amelia's old room was first, it was completely empty now. Y/n shared a room with Lucy. She was supposed to move into Amelia's room after Amelia moved out, but Lucy didn't feel safe alone. And it wasn't just her father making her feel that way. Y/n was comforting to her. Knowing she was sleeping in the same room kept her calm. Their father's room was the last one. The door was always closed. No one was ever allowed in. He slept on the couch more than his own bed.

The second Y/n pushed her bedroom door open she saw Leonardo standing at the foot of her bed. Patiently waiting for her.

Y/n's gaze hardened, but she said nothing. She kicked the door shut behind her and walked past him to her desk. She needed to do something. Anything. She just needed to keep busy. So she started to organize her college assingments.

Leo remained quiet, simply watching her. After a few minutes of Y/n shuffling papers and slamming drawers he opened his mouth. "Y/n."

"Don't." She snapped, tensing at the sound of his voice.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say..." He breathed, blue; blue eyes glued to her. Scared that if he looked away she would crack and break into a million pieces.

"I don't want you to say anything." She mumbled, voice strained. Her movements had seized. She simply stood there, back facing him. Honestly she was afraid that if she turned and caught sight of his ocean colored eyes, she'd burst.

The room grew quiet again. Y/n knew he was looking at her. She could feel his intense gaze plastered to her back. Studying every small movement she made. The light tremble of her hands. The slight shaking of her shoulders. The wobbling of her knees. Y/n tried to hold herself together. Keep the tears at bay. It was a fools wish.

She could feel his presence. Feel him walking closer. Till he was just a few meesly inches away from her. Leo was so close she knew if she took the tiniest of steps backward his chest would connect with her back. His hand grazed her arm and she broke the silence with a sharp inhale.

And she crumbled.

Tears blurred her vision as she gasped out a shuddering sob. A sob that shook her entire body. One that stole the breath from her lungs and broke her heart into millions of microscopic pieces. She collapsed against him and he held her tightly against his plastron. Strong arms hooking around her waist and pulling her flush against him.

Leonardo said nothing as she cried. It wasn't the first time she cried in his arms. And it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

Nothing was said or done. Neither of them moved. He just held her tight as she let out everything she had been holding in. By the time her cries had quieted, and tears dried on her skin. The sun had started to set. Basking the room in its warm fading glow through the window. Painting the two of them in a lovely array of yellows, oranges, and pinks.

Leo slowly turned Y/n around. Even when she was crying, she was utterly beautiful. Achingly so. He placed his hand under her chin and slowly tilted her red face upwards. Her e/c dewy eyes met his own. There was no longer a wall between them. He had managed to break it down in a matter of seconds. And now, all her pain was visible to him in her eyes.

There was a reason they say eyes are the windows to the soul.

Leo had built his own wall. One he kept up at all times. Around everyone. Everyone except her.

No words needed to be expressed between either of them. They already knew exactly how the other was feeling. With one simple glance. That's all it took. All it ever took.

Leonardo leaned down instinctevly, slowly and cautiously. Waiting and watching to see if she would pull away. Y/n never did. Instead, she slowly and hesitantly moved closer. That's when their lips connected.

A soft and deseperate kiss was shared. He held her face delicately, as if she would crumble into dust in his arms. Y/n clutched at him desperately, afraid he'd see how truly broken and damaged she was and pull away. Leo wasn't going anywhere. Something he told her with his lips as he peppered her skin with kisses. And when he reached her mouth again, he kissed her hard. He poured his soul into her. She drank him up.

As they parted for air. Y/n gasping for a whole other reason. He grabbed her hand and pressed a few more tender kisses to her knuckles. Eyes locked. Chests heaving. Hearts pounding.

Their souls danced the same.

"You don't have to hide around me. There's no need to barricade your feelings anymore." Leo whispered, brushing his thumb against the back of her hand. "You can show me the darkest and scariest parts of yourself. I'm not going anywhere."

A few more tears slid down her tender red cheeks. They caught the light of the sun and shone like tiny falling stars. He brushed them away with his lips.

"Even if I'm destined to crumble into nothing?" Y/n breathed, placing her hand on his chest. Fingertips tracing the markings engraved into his plastron from years of battle and training.

"Even if you're destined to crumble into nothing." Leo whispered, pressing a loving kiss to each rosey cheek. "I'll always be here. Right here. In your arms, where I belong."

[tickle-minion]

After the Christmas Party

What happens when you get a little too drunk at the office Christmas party and a tickle-phile is the one who brings you home? Jay is about to find out! Other than being a little kidnappy, this is SFW.

-----

With his head swimming, Jay slowly started to wake up, but he didn't know what exactly had happened, where he was, or how he got there. The last thing he remembered was having a good time at the office Christmas party and his co-worker Dan helping him into the car. He didn’t normally drink too much, but with wine and beer and hard liquor (whiskey being Jay’s favourite) everywhere and all of the senior partners encouraging everyone to enjoy themselves, Jay decided to let loose and live a little.  The pounding headache he had told him exactly how much he'd been drinking the night before.

Something was wrong, though. This wasn't his house… there was tape over his mouth… he was tied up… and his bare feet were propped up on a footstool.  Jay tried to stand up and wiggle free from the bonds but his head was still pounding and his stomach felt like he might be sick.  Just how much had he had to drink?!

"Oh, you're awake?" Jay’s coworker Dan said as he walked into the room. Jay instantly knew something was wrong: Day was just wearing an old tee shirt and a pair of boxers.

Jay tried to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth except for a muffled garble. As he tried to speak he realized that there was something in his mouth. His tongue pushed up against it, trying to find out just whatever it was.  It felt like it was some kind of fabric that tasted sort of salty.

"Sorry about the sock gag, I just didn't want you to scream if you woke up before I did."

Jay’s stomach rolled again.  He was tasting his own sock?  Disgusting.  Jay tried yelling through the sock in his mouth but it was useless.

Dan walked over and ran a hand across Jay’s tied and propped bare feet. Jay could feel Dan's hungry eyes taking the feet in.

"Ever since you made junior partner, I've had my eyes on you. Especially the provocative way you slip your shoes off in the office when you think no one is looking. Believe me... I noticed and I was looking."

Dan sat down beside the tied feet and took them into his hands. Jay tried to kick back, tried to fight to keep this pervert’s hands off his feet, but he couldn't save himself or do anything as Dan began massaging his feet.  Dan’s hands felt strong and confident, not the hands of someone who felt bad that he was taking advantage of a coworker in a very intimate way.

"We're going to have some fun, you and I, and if you say anything about it to anyone I'll see that you're knocked down by the office assistant so fast your head will spin, got it?"

There was nothing Jay could do. Not only was Dan his superior at work, but being tied and vulnerable like this meant that the ball was in Dan's court. With angry and defiant eyes he nodded to Dan, submitting to whatever he had planned.

"Good," Jay purred as his hands continued to grope the bound feet, massaging the broad soles and rolling the toes around between his fingers.

"I got some amazing toys I want to use on these puppies, give you a solid workout. What do you say?"

There was nothing he could do in this situation, so Jay just hung his head in defeat.

"That's a good boy, giving in like that. Makes what's going to happen to you all the easier."

Jay left the room and returned a few minutes later with a silver tray. There were all sorts of items on the tray, from hair brushes, electric toothbrushes, scrubbers, feathers, and some baby oil.  Jay wasn’t completely sure what all of this stuff was for but he had the strong suspicion he wasn’t going to like it.  He curled his toes wondering just what was in store for him and his feet.  His eyes lingered on the feathers for a moment.  Surely Dan wasn’t going to… tickle him?  Was he?  That’s not something that people actually did with feathers… was it?

"Let's see just how ticklish you are, and if you squeal nicely enough for me, maybe we'll only do this once or twice a week going forward, hmm?"

Why oh why did he ever slip his shoes off in the office?  If he knew some pervert was going to be watching him because of that he would have kept his shoes tightly on his feet.

“Just a little test tickle, what do you say?”

Dan picked up one of the hair brushes from the tray and brought it to Jay’s foot.  He teased with the brush, running just the very tips of the bristles up and down Jay’s tied soles, giving just a sneak peek of what was to come.  Jay struggled, trying to pull his feet away, but couldn’t escape.

The speed and the force of the tickling picked up.  The brush would travel up and down the bare sole.  First the brush stopped at the smooth heel, scrubbing vigorously back and forth.  This tickled more than Jay expected it would, causing the tied up young man to giggle continuously behind his sock gag.  The brush continued up and stopped at the toes this time.  The man grabbed the toes, pulled them back, and started brushing the sensitive skin right under the toes.

Jay wasn’t giggling this time.  This time, he threw his head back and started to cackle behind his sweaty sock gag.  The sensation was intense, and his legs were vibrating as he tried desperately to pull his feet away.  He tried to curl up his toes, but Dan was holding them too tightly.

Dan continued tickling Jay like this, up and down the sole, scrubbing the heel, and attacking the base of the toes.  It felt like hours had passed.  Jay was sweating in his suit, drool was dribbling out of his mouth, and tears were rolling down his cheeks.  He’d never felt so completely broken in his entire life.

Finally the brushing stopped and Jay’s entirely body relaxed.  

“Well, that was a good test tickle… what do you say we try the… harder stuff?”

Dan grabbed a long straight feather from the tray.  Jay’s eyes went wide and he started thrashing his head back and forth.  This was about to become a lot worse.

His superior brought the feather to Dan’s broad sole and started flicking with it.  It didn’t tickle as much as the brush did, but Jay could feel it.  It was this fleeting touch, just at the edge of his feet.  It felt… weird.  Unfortunately it Jay wasn’t giving the reaction that Dan wanted.

“Not too feather ticklish?  That’s fine.  Let’s try it between the toes”

The feather was suddenly flossed between his big and second toe.  Jay jumped.  Holy shit, that actually tickled.  Dan grinned and did it again, making Jay jump again in his restraints.  

“Hmm, this seems better, doesn’t it?”

Dan moved down the line, dragging the feather between Jay’s ticklish toes.  Jay tried to curl them to keep the feather out, but Dan would just grab them and force them open.  Soon Jay stopped fighting back and gave into the toe tickling.  The feather kept flossing between toes, first one foot then the other, over and over again.  Jay was laughing and trying to pull his feet away.  Jay, who always thought himself pretty tough and manly, was being reduced to a giggling and laughing mess by nothing more than a feather.

The feather kept its torment going for several minutes.  By the end of the torture Jay’s feet had started to sweat, making the feather glide even easier between his squirming toes.  Jay’s entire body slumped when the feather finally gave it’s last swipe.

“You’re doing good, kid.  You’re doing real good.  How are we feeling so far?”

Jay didn’t have the energy to fight or yell anymore.  He just hung his head and mumbled something into his sock.

Dan put away the feather and pulled up the electric toothbrush and the bottle of baby oil.  Opening the bottle, Dan held it over Jay’s feet and just let the oil dribble down over the tops of his toes, watching as it ran down.  To Jay it felt almost pleasant.  A nice cooling sensation on his hot feet.  Dan massaged his tied feet again, this time working the baby oil into the soles, covering the toes, and of course between each and every single toe.  Jay hated to admit it, but after all the torment he’d been through, this actually felt nice.  Dan must have been able to tell (probably because Jay stopped fighting and went to mush in his hands) and chuckled.

“You think this feels nice, huh?  Wait until you meet my little friend here.”

Jay watched as Dan picked up the electric toothbrush.  He turned it on and off, revving it like a manic welds a chainsaw.

“Let’s introduce you, shall we?”

[inevitablysomber-dark]

Shackled (Chapter 16)

Dark! Rafe Cameron x Pogue! Reader

Warning: There are some intense, dubiously consenting and nonconsensual sexual themes in this series, MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. MINORS DNI.

Summary: You hate Outer Banks with a passion and are working hard to get out despite all the obstacles in your way. Rafe himself eventually becomes one of those obstacles after a night of low impulse control. Will you be able to overcome him or with you have no choice but to submit.

Slow Burn

Series Masterlist

Tag list:

@sophiexoxo-lol

"I've always wanted to ask, what are these?" Rafe holds up a small circular pink pill to my vision. 

"Birth Control," you rasp. 

"You take birth control? Since when" he asks

You throw him a look of annoyance and blow a breath of exasperation. 

"We had been fucking for several months, and not once did I ever mention anything about a pregnancy scare. Did the idea of me being on birth control never occur to you?"

He shrugs and continues with his task. 

Rafe had taken it upon himself to oversee your health, which included picking up and organizing your prescribed medication in your pill box. At first, it was difficult to trust him, so you made sure you had all your tablets before taking them, but he managed to prove himself, and you became too tired to keep up with your tablets. 

He'd also gotten into touching you often, especially during bathtime. You've tried to thwart his advances several times, but he always seemed to get his way. Eventually, fear was replaced with chagrin, and every time he dragged his fingers down your forearm, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

You had to go into surgery in the next few days, and you had been waiting for an orthopedic surgeon to travel to the island to assist you, Annie Rose said your ribs weren't healing properly, so she had to put in a referral for one. In the meantime, she said no strenuous activity, making sure to fix Rafe with a look.

It would have been funny if you didn't feel like you were being held captive. 

Since the first bathtub incident, you thought of ways to escape Rafe's grasp. You had to heal first, that was a given, and it wasn't leaving that was giving you the issue. It's what you would do after you leave. 

You had no money or family; all you had was Rafe, and if he kept on with his possessive ways, he's all you would ever have. 

You could always go back to Misty's and beg for your old job back, but then how would you find enough money to get on the ferry, your racked your brain trying to find a solution to this puzzle, but something was always in the way. 

You suddenly felt lips pressed against yours as fingers crept toward your nether region. 

"What are you thinking about?" Rafe says. 

"What if I never wake up from the surgery?" you ask, wanting him to believe that the surgery was what you were worried about. 

"You'll be fine, and you'll probably feel much better afterward, so no worries, in fact." he moves his body underneath the covers, placing himself between your legs and pulling off your pajama bottoms. 

"Rafe," you call. He ignores you as he rubs a finger up and down your clothed slit. 

"Rafe, stop, I'm tired," you beg.

He pulls your panties to the side, shocking you with his tongue to your clit before wrapping his mouth around it and sucking. 

You couldn't say anything else. It didn't matter since Rafe would do what he wanted anyways. 

So you gave in to the moment. Drowning in forced pleasure.

*** 

You were fatigued, your body felt limp and heavy, and it took too much effort to move a toe, let alone push away the fingers creeping up your thighs.

You struggle to open your eyes as you look up at the perpetrator attempting to invade your space. There he stood, Rafe Cameron, looking back down at you—the expectation on his face, with a cloud of lust shadowing his eyes.

Of course, it had been him; it could only be him. He'd taken it upon himself these last few weeks to terrorize you with his presence consistently.

You'd just gotten the surgery for your broken ribs, and as you looked around, you saw Rafe had no problem setting you up in his room again. Now he won't even allow recovering at the hospital. He needed you to be around him as much as possible. So you can only imagine his frustration whenever he had to leave for work.

.Since your trip from the hospital, amidst your travels in and out of consciousnesses, he was the only face you ever saw.

Without taking his eyes off yours, he pulls off your blanket, causing your top to pul up, exposing a bit of your navel. He drags his fingers under it, pulling them closer to your pubic area.

"Surgeon says you'll be able to resume sexual activity in about two weeks." He briefly takes his eyes off yours as he uses his fingers to pull at your pajama bottoms.

You whimpered, hoping he wouldn't try anything while you suffered weakly.

"Don't worry, I'm patient."

He looks back into your eyes, bringing his face closer to yours.

"I can't say I'm not excited by the thought." He gently places his lips against yours.

And all you could think of was how you were going to escape when you could barely move your body.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I'm so so so sorry to make a request, I just can't bring myself to write this to calm myself down

How would Eddie respond to an ftm reader that's experiencing something similar to Arthur Havisham's "Why did your father stop loving you?" Scene? The heartbreak when Arthur says "You beat me"

Maybe Jason asks the reader that and he breaks down because he has a terrible relationship with his abusive father

Again I'm so sorry

Sorry for taking so long to get to this! I hope it suffices. I felt bad for how long this took me and I managed to watch snippets of the scene so I feel like there's something I might be missing. Please let me know if this isn't what you were looking for.

Requests have resumed. You can submit yours here!

Currently writing for Eddie Munson. I write for a variety of reader inserts (male, female, gender neutral, readers of color too).

The more details you had to your request, the better it is for me. EX: “What about some fluff for Eddie after he’s had a long day?”

Feel free to look through my masterlist here!

Eddie Munson x Trans!Male!Reader

CW: Mentions of abuse (not actually detailed out); references to binding

_____________________

It's been building--that much you do know.

You don't know when the seal first cracked. You hadn't been paying that close attention to things. But when it all exploded, when the dust settled and you watched from outside yourself, you know that everything, with enough pressure, does have a limit. You are not a superhero, not superhuman, and thus, you too have a limit.

And Jason Carver is that limit.

He's not the exact catalyst. You had your father to blame for that. But Carver is the match in a pile of dynamite. He is the spark--the hammer to come down on the cracked cover.

Only in retrospect does it become clear that maybe when Eddie asked you if you wanted to take Friday night after a game of Dungeons and Dragons just to 'hang out, blow off some steam' that he really was asking you if you were okay.

And you weren't. But you weren't going to burden Eddie with it. Considering he already had enough on his plate. You'd caught in whispers the conversation he had with Wayne when you were over about an extra expense because of the leaky faucet. They weren't in any position to let it continue to be a problem, but it was proving harder for either Wayne or Eddie to fix themselves. "Think he'd fix it cheap?" Eddie had asked. Wayne's reply came evenly, "No, but he'll fix it right."

So no--you were not in a mind to burden Eddie. But the shouting, the searing palms were still pressing down on you. They'd never stopped if you're honest. And you think they never will stop. Nothing is going to give in your favor.

After tucking yourself away in your bedroom, praying that the door you're pressed against doesn't rattle with a pounding fist or foot, you prayed into a seemingly never answering void that you'd survive the week. Jason had decided since Tuesday that you were the object of his displeasure.

It started with jabs at your clothes. Then it's your voice. It feels like anything can be wrong is wrong and Carver's making it a personal mission to point it all out. It wasn't easy to brush it aside. It wasn't fun to have decide if you're going to start a fight or leave it alone. And those your natural inclination may to leave ignorance alone, you lose the choice when you're hiding out at Lover's Lake, trying to let the stars wash over you.

There's a ruckus for a few feet from you. You're going to ignore it. Most people come out here if they're trying to drink. You're not going to bother them. You stay tucked away and hug your knees up to your chest. The group is a little rowdy at first, but they settle down, voices falling from boisterous laughter into broken chuckles and the occasional shout.

It's fine for a little bit. And you're not sure how long you're out there, but the voice get louder again. There's metal cans you can hear now clinking together. Loud groups and alcohol, a recipe for disaster.

"Hey!"

You turn to the voice, only just a little to see part of a body who's calling out to you. You think it's Carver, given the slightly tinniness to his voice. But you don't give it too much thought before you finish brushing the gravel off your butt from where you were sitting.

There's a crunch, the distinct sound of someone running on the rocky shoreline. "Hey, I'm fuck-fucking talking to you!" The words don't fall clearly; they slur, bumping into each other like the syllables don't know their place in the sentence and cadence.

This is only supposed to be a moment to escape, feel at peace for the first fucking time all week. You continue on. No need to give into the drunkenness.

"The fuck, bro. Just slow down!"

You remain silent, pushing onward and the crunch of gravel under the shoes is louder and louder until a hand catches your elbow. "What the fuck? You can't hear?"

The hand comes up to hoodie you've pushed over your head like trying to swat away flies and you realize Jason--clearer closer up--must think you've got headphones on. You push back at his swatting head. "I can choose not to respond," you huff, pushing away from him.

He holds tighter. "I-I want to ask you something."

"Carver, not today," you warn, pulling firm to get your wrist free from his hold.

"I-just listen, please," he begs. And when you look at his face, highlighted by moonlight, you something that looks like it might be an ounce of concern. It doesn't last long because you tug again.

When Carver lets you go, you take a step back your balance off for a moment but you catch yourself. You don't want to cry. But the heat of Carver's touch is still searing into your skin, into the some tender spot you'd been nursing this particular week.

"What does it feel like?"

You shake out your wrist a little, face pinching up into confusion. "What does what feel like?"

Carver only gestures over you. "This--what does it feel like? Like, we all know."

And you're not sure what he's referring too--what it is that everyone knows. There's too many things for the town to know and too many things that the rumor mill always churns. It could almost be anything at this point that he's trying to hint at.

"I--whatever," you retort, but something catches in your chest. You're really not sure what he's referring to.

Carver takes your wrist again and yanks the sleeve up. His hand with the can still in the grasps waves over you again, like he's trying to gesture to something without really giving it away. There's a pause at your torso and you think you know what really is being given away. "Tell me--When do your father stop loving you?"

It cracks--everything you'd been swallowing down. Everything you'd been trying to throw more and more dirt onto to bury comes vomiting back up when you slam your first into Jason's chest. The thud of his chest vibrates up your arm. "Leave it alone!"

"Fuck you. Fuck you for asking that," you huff. "You don't--" but the truth cracks with your voice. "I don't know."

You're not sure when it started or why it started. But you were here now--hiding from everyone. Perhaps even from yourself. You don't know how long you stand their wailing at the boy's body. But you don't feel like it's been long enough. "Fuck you!" you shout. "Fuck you!"

Arms wrap around your waist. Your weight falls into them--not that you have a choice. You're being pulled away. And when the arms don't release you at the tug of your fingers into their forearms, you start thrashing against them. "Hey, hey, it's me! It's Eddie!"

It's only the sound of his name that makes you freeze long enough to blink through the tears. Carver's keeping the rest of the team pushed back away from you, like he maybe he's defending you. But when he turns, his eyes are downturned. Like he hadn't really meant to cause so much a scene. But the damage is done now.

You think you see something that might turn into a bruise on his face--a red spot on his cheek. You're not sure if you did that. But the thought that maybe you did freezes your blood.

"No, no, no, no, no," you whimper.

"It's me, Eddie. Please stop fighting me," Eddie tries again. He'd only come to the Lake when he climbed into your window and noticed your room was empty. You'd left the window unlocked and cracked so it was easier for you to sneak in and out of it.

Eddie used it to his advantage when he wanted to hang out with you, but couldn't through on the phone to ensure you were home. Sometimes, he didn't even feel like dealing with your dad so he'd drive over and just poke his head up into the window.

When he didn't see you in your room and you hadn't mentioned to him going anywhere he had an inclination that you might be here at the lake. Your body is limp now in his arms. Your broken sobs are loud in the night. They echo and echo.

"Talk to me. What happened? What did Carver do?"

"I-it's me," you heave out.

Eddie settles, releasing his arms slowly from around you. "You? What do you mean it's you?"

The words don't come up anymore, just an ugly sob. Eddie does what he can, encasing you now in a hug, face buried into his chest. "It's okay. You're okay now," he returns.

You don't have enough breath. You're heaving and you know it. You'd cried up everything on the walk back to Eddie's van, but now you're heaving. Your chest is on fire. The world is starting to get just a little blurry on the edges. It's not the tears. You know what it is, the pinches at your chest and ribs prominent more now with the excessive physical movement and possibly from Eddie's earlier grasps on you too.

The bandages sting at your skin. Your face is hot with embarrassment and tears.

There lies the wreckage. There it lies.

In the back of the van, Eddie notices your subtle tugs. "How long have you been wearing them?"

"All-all day," you heave.

"You know you can't do that," he reprimands. It's gentle, hand resting on your knee. He's dug out napkins to give to you to wipe the tears and snot from your face.

You only give a half a shrug.

"I'll guard the door, but you have to promise you'll have take the binding off if I do. I won't risk my ass to Carver for nothing."

You can only nod. Everything feels uneasy, shakes in your hands but you can get it undone at least. Eddie takes the affirmative sign and slips back out the backdoors. With a deep breathe, trying to steady your nerves just enough. When your eyes close you see that stupid drop of sincerity on Jason's face and nearly lose it all again.

Why the fuck would he care? Why did it matter to him the shitty life you were living?

The pop of the bandage brings a small bit of relief. You get it loose, not properly off, but you drop your head into the wall of the van and take the good deep inhale. You're not far from the door and when you can get the end of the into a solid grasp from the bottom of your sweatshirt, you tap your foot against the door.

Eddie is quick to crawl back inside. "Took you long enough."

"Can you help?"

There's only a pause, long enough for it to be noticable but not long enough for it feel awkward. "Yeah, of course."

You push up, unwinding a bit more and feed it Eddie. It's not awkward, as the two fo you work the bandage around, more and more bit of relief settling for you. The end of the sweatshirt rides up just a little bit nothing revealing.

"What did you mean by it's you? What the hell happene?"

"Shitty week," you return. "I know Jason's probably drunk but--it's just what he asked me."

Eddie's brow quirks in the silent question. You drop your head back into the wall of the van, the bandage all now completely unraveled. You work it slowly back up around itself into a ball. "He asked when my father stopped loving me. And said 'we all know'. And I don't-" your voice cracks, lifting the ace bandage. "I don't know what he's talking about but is it really that obvious? I don't--I'll die if the wrong people ask. Hell, I might die in my own fucking house."

"You're not. You're not going to die, because I swear to God I'm getting us out of this shitty ass town. Where you can be you've always been. Away from your dad. But you're not dying. Not here."

There's so much conviction in Eddie's tone that you want to believe him.

"But he beats me," you choke out.

Eddie had always suspected but when he asked, you always had an excuse. The thing Eddie wouldn't do is beat a dead horse. Perhaps now, the horse has never been more alive. "You're spending the night with me," Eddie declares, "nothing's going to happen tonight."

Because if you're with him nothing will. If you're with Eddie you're not with your dad, and if your dad comes looking there was more in the Munson trailer and though Eddie never likes resorting to violence, the hunting rifle Wayne used to take hunting was something Eddie had gotten used to shooting.

"Only use it when you absolutely need to, son. Humans aren't deer. But if it's you or someone else and I'm not there, you need to come back to me alive."

Perhaps Wayne would allow Eddie the grace to extend the sentiments to you. Because if it's you or someone else, Eddie needs you alive.

"I'm going to keep you alive," Eddie states. "Even if it means forcing you out of your binder kicking and screaming or hauling you off people when you snap, I'm keeping your ass alive."

-H

[victimsofyaoipoll]

I'm like 70% sure I sent the wlw dominated fandoms ask and was just feeling like being on anon that day (if I wasn't and just nearly submitted something super similar I'm so sorry original anon) the main fandoms I was thinking of were

The Owl House: Another anon suggested that so I won't bother with too much. Canon wlw ship and canon nblw ship, it took a while for me to even see a mlw or mlm ship come into the picture.

Revue Starlight: Absolute favorite anime/franchise, no I don't understand it 100% because you usually won't immediately. It was what I was really thinking of there. It has exactly one super explicit lesbian there (Mahiru, local winner of exactly one really big lesbian tournament I found on Twitter who stood alongside Hatsune Miku as the ultimate lesbian) and several wlw ships so heavily implied that they are pretty much canon. You also get your pick from the big ships (not noting Mahiru ones. Sorry girl), so you can choose between the childhood friends who act like they're broken up 50% of the time and like they've been taking for years the other 50%, the girls who look like the healthiest happiest practically married couple until you get to the eventual problems (mostly in the movie, despite the many mental problems one of the components of the ship has), the two rivals who were the only couple happy by the end of the movie and the focused on couple of two childhood friends who decided to define their lives around a play which is a tragedy and just met after years apart. Also it's one of the only fandoms where a really big ship I see (Mahikaren) is a poly ship so there's that. There's also two movies (one's a recap), stageplays, a mobile game which only 50% of the players like (the big suggestion regarding it is to just find videos of the stories/read them because there is some really brilliant writing there and another super explicit lesbian in the form of Rui and many more very heavily implied ones) and more.

Gundam Witch: This isn't the actual title just shortened. Anyways this series is a good entry to the Gundam series as a whole but works as a stand-alone series. The main character and the next most focused on one are both canonically sapphic and in love and I care about them. I'm trying to make this shorter than the Revue explanation since I just really love that series so much but this fandom also has other wlw ships which have popped up and generally is just great for wlw content.

Bandori: It's a gacha mobile rhythm game but we all have our flaws (and I really love the rhythm parts and all of the super good music. Like I need to clarify that I was only talking about the gacha as a flaw because I know it's the one bit which may not be loved. That's one one thing I left about the Revue mobile game too. gacha unfortunately is very good for ongoing stories). Very few men exist here, the ones who do are related to main characters usually and are outside of their age range and the characters are all very very sapphic. Plus there's exactly one super canon ship (Parechu) where one of the characters involved has an arc heavily relating to the lesbian experience (and who also writes what is basically a love song for her gf considering all of the lyrics. Basically what I'm saying is that they're super in love), more with canon crushes on girls, and generally there's a lot of wlw fanwork in the series due to how sapphic all of these girls are. and I love the writing very much.

There are others but these are the ones constantly in my head. If I can think of any more I might send in another ask, and I'm also happily looking through the other wlw dominated fandoms I see because I'm always looking for media which is sapphic inside and outside of canon

^

[yottakitsune]

You bought the small idol for a steal. The fools were just going to melt it down and sell it as an unrecognizable lump. They never knew what they had, but to be fair, you didn't realize what you had either. You put the idol on a shelf near where you had your spare change, and it looked nice enough there. The only thing left was to make sure it wasn't taken.

Over the next several weeks, you began to notice the occasional gold coin disappearing. It was never much, but it was annoying all the same. Try as you might, you could never figure out the culprit. At least not until one day you noticed that the idol was a little bigger than before, and its eyes were glowing. When you leaned in to inspect it closer, the thing spoke to you in a voice only you could hear as its tiny eyes lit up with a golden light. "Thank you for taking care of me, my lord. I shall guard your possessions and multiply your wealth."

You jumped back at the sudden mental intrusion and dropped it on the table in the center of the room, but the idol radiated kindness and calm. "Fear not." It twitched a few times as life flew through her limbs, and she rose to her feet. "I mean you no harm."

A few days later found you being led through a wide field and the idol smiling at you. "This land is fertile and unclaimed, my lord. There are even multiple strong ley lines that cross here. We can build you a home here, and you can watch as all you own grows more bountiful by the day. She hefted her breasts and flashed an almost seductive smile. "Don't you want more? I did promise to give you more than you could ever hope to possess." You could only numbly nod. More sounded good.

More weeks passed, and true to her word, your wealth seemed to grow by the day under her guard. Not only that, but so did she. The idol that had only been a few inches tall at first now stood a full head taller than you. Most things in your home were now made of gold and the table had long since been buried under a pile of gold that weighed more than both of you combined. "We will need more space soon, my lord. Your fortune cannot be contained here."

You stared in shock. Did you really own that much gold? "I have already drafted plans for a village to be built. A large manor should suffice." She gave you a knowing smile. "Should I begin preparations for a greater and grander home?" You couldn't believe it, but she was right. Even if it seemed she already had started those preparations, they were necessary, and you had a difficult time refusing her advice so you told her to get started. "I'll see to it at once. Your village will serve you well."

In a few short weeks, the village was built, and every completed building saw your idol gain whole feet of height. In several months, the huge basement treasury was filled again. By now, she truly looked like a real dragon. "My lord, I have a request." You stood before her, agog at how bafflingly massive she had become. She laid down in the street and smiled down at you. "I feel you should have a castle. There is a high plateau that would do well for the endeavor, and it will be more secure." You always did think it would be nice to live like royalty.

It took a long time to get the structure built, largely due to how difficult it was getting supplies to the top of a nearly thousand foot high rock formation, but the idol helped how she could. After nearly a year, your new home was built and what was left of your fortune was put into the expansive keep. This didn't sit well with many of the neighboring kingdoms.

They had fought for a long time over who would claim your village and its wealth, but the presence of an increasingly massive dragoness made that tenuous at best. Now nobody could easily march in, much less force you or those of what was now a major city to submit to them. Turned out that people enjoyed having a giant dragon around to keep them safe. A year after the keep was built, one of the neighboring kingdoms attempted an invasion. It went as poorly as you could expect.

"My lord," came the sweet voice of your idol. She stood on the ground far below, but she still dwarfed your castle and towered over it. "I think it is time to secure the safety of your holdings and expand upon them." She dropped a small bundle of flags and shields into the expansive courtyard. "Your neighbors have attacked more than once. May I claim their holdings as reparations?" You nodded and thanked her. She clapped her hands and practically skipped off to the nearest kingdom. Why settle for being royalty when you could the ruler of an empire?

Your empire grew by the day, and so did she. Every time somebody attacked, she simply claimed that land as yours, and it was done with surgical precision. No matter how big she got, she was always able to attack and crush their castle and all within on the first try. It was almost like she would settle for no less than world domination.

It didn't even take a month before the whole continent was yours. "My lord, the furthest reaches are yours." She lay down, nearly as big as an empire herself, and smiled at you on a balcony. "Soon everything else will follow. You shall have everything for saving my existence." You wondered about that. What would happen when you owned everything. You looked at the stars. Were those included? There was only one way to find out.

[innytoes]

“You got me a stocking?” - “Of course, you’re family.” For either Reggie & Ray or an AU where the Molina family adopts Reggie, please!

For my fourth and final version of this prompt, I decided to go full sci-fi dystopian AU because of course I did.

"Reassignment assessment, Reginald Peters, written portion." The computer said as he sat down at the terminal. He'd just finished the physical scan, and from the way some of the squares had coloured orange, it wasn't going great. Probably his weight and blood work, if he had to guess.

"Um, I can't... I can't write," he told the terminal. "Or read." Immediately, the keyboard disappeared, and a little speaker appeared next to the questions, with a microphone icon replacing the keyboard. He took a deep breath, and started the questionnaire.

After his dad had been caught stealing, he'd pretty much flushed away any credits their family unit had down the drain. Mom had managed to save herself by taking a blood alcohol test, proving she hadn't partaken in any of the stolen goods (though Reggie was pretty sure that was just dumb luck). She had managed to stay in her job in the kitchens, reassigned to the bunks there, instead of being sent to the jail like Dad.

But the lack of credits did mean there was no way she could keep Reggie on. And Reggie had been going to work with Dad, cleaning, since he was seven, so he couldn't be reassigned to the Kitchen bunks.

But all the credits he earned were transferred straight into the family account to pay for food and rent, so it wasn't like he had any credits of his own to rent out a room somewhere. Carl had kept him on until he was transferred to Reassessment, let him take over Dad's route as well as his own, so he'd managed to earn enough to keep himself fed while he stayed in the Cleaning bunks.

But now he had to prove he was worth keeping on permanently. Or get lucky enough that one of the better paying departments would take on a scrawny thirteen year old who couldn't read or write and wasn't deemed bright enough to get a scholarship for school when he was little.

He spoke as clearly as he could, knowing the voice-to-text AI wasn't perfect. He laid out his work history, his references (which was really only Carl). There were some weird questions at the end as well. Like his favourite colour, and his favourite class. Probably because he was a minor. He tried to keep the bitter upset tone out of his voice in case it messed with the AI when he answered. "I don't know." And: "I don't go to school."

The last question, the one about what he wanted for his future, he wasn't exactly sure how to answer. "I hope to stay on and work my way up at the Cleaning Department, or perhaps get transferred to the Kitchens," he said.

Except when he let go of the mic button to submit his answer, a flashing yellow warning came on the screen. Apparently the facial recognition had flagged the answer as dishonest, would he like to try again?

He tried again. And again. Finally, frustrated, he said: "I want to earn enough credits to be able to afford my own rooms, in whatever Department that will take me, and maybe even get enough to be able to afford a dog, or a hamster." He'd never told anyone about that dream, but it was at least flagged as truthful, and before he could edit or resubmit his answer, the test declared he was finished, and to please move on to the next room to wait for reassignment.

It was the first time he'd been alone, had his own rooms, since his dad was caught. Reggie reveled in the quiet, taking the standard issue meal from the Fabricator at set times, and catching up on some much needed sleep. After a few days, though, he got a little antsy, so when he computer terminal finally beeped that he'd been reassigned, he was thrilled. He quickly washed his face, tidying the bed and getting dressed, stepping out ready to meet Carl, or maybe even the head of the Kitchens.

Except it wasn't Carl. It was a family. A mom, a dad, a girl about his age, and a little boy. They looked like the kind of family that had enough credits to send their kids to school without scholarship credits, wearing non-standard-issue clothes and cool shoes and even jewelry.

Before he could tell them they probably had the wrong room, and that the orphanage was down the hall, the woman said: "Reginald? It's so nice to meet you!"

So it wasn't a mistake. Reggie stayed quiet as they lead him away from the Reassignment wing, up to levels and past parks where he'd only dreamed of being promoted to clean, until they arrived at their unit. Inside was big, but it still looked cozy, like a real home. The walls all had non-standard colours, there was art displayed, the furniture was non-standard issue.

"Come on, let me show you your room," the little boy, Carlos said, dragging him along. "You still have to pick your own colours and stuff, it'll be fun!"

So he got his own room. That he got to decorate. And he got to pick out non-standard-issue clothes, and they enrolled him in school, and every day Reggie was waiting for the Molinas to realise they'd made a mistake, to send him back to Reassignment, but it never came. Not even when he bombed his first pop quiz for his Writing class (the p and q were hard, okay?), or when he accidentally burned dinner helping Rose cook.

Three weeks in and they still hadn't sent him back. When he came home from school, thrilled to report that he'd actually passed a test for once (math was way easier than letters), the apartment looked... different. There were twinkly lights all around, and the furniture had been rearranged to make room for a tree, and oh. Christmas.

"Hey, mijo," Rose said, smiling from where she was hanging a garland up below the screen of the TV. It was playing a video of a fireplace, which just made the whole room feel even cozier. "How was school?"

He shyly showed her his Pad, with the bright red 100% at the top of the page on his math test. "I got my math test back," he said. He glowed with pride and maybe something else when she caught him in a hug, telling him how proud she was. She even insisted on wasting using credits to print out a copy to hang on the fridge.

"Do you want to help me decorate a little before you start your homework?" she asked. He usually waited until Ray was home, because Ray always looked over his letters and helped him sound out the really long words for his reading. He was really nice about it, too, and never got frustrated when Reggie made a mistake.

"Okay," he agreed happily, helping de-tangle even more lights, and hang pretty baubles in the tree. Ray came home from his shift, smiling and jumping right into helping decorate.

Together, they finished up the tree, except for the star. That would be put on when Julie and Carlos got home. They were in school longer than Reggie, because Rose and Ray hadn't wanted to overwhelm him. He had Writing and Reading and Math, and because Rose insisted school should be fun as well, once a week he also got to go to Music. They’d let him pick whatever he wanted, from art to sports to flight school.

Finally, Ray made him stand back and decide how high the stockings would go. He could read the names on them now. Rose and Ray both had fuzzy-looking stockings with a faux fur trim on it. Julie's was purple, of course, and shimmered in the light. Carlos' had a fabric that changed colours when you ran your finger over it, so you could draw little doodles on it.

And then Rose handed Ray the last one. It was red (he had a favourite colour now), and it looked very soft. And on it, in shimmering letters, it read Reggie.

"You got me a stocking?" he asked, startled, eyes flitting over the name again and again, just in case he misread. R-E-G-G-I-E. Reggie.

"Of course," Ray said. "You're family."

Maybe it was time to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, Reggie thought, even as his face crumbled. Rose pulled him into a hug, Ray wrapping both his arms around him. Maybe this could be home.

[whirling-fangs]

'He has been having trouble sleeping, you say? Poor little Inosuke. Is he restless? I believe some meditation might help him clarify his mind and find some peace. He has been through so much... as have you, Kotoha-san. Please, allow me to help. Let me take him with me for tonight so you may rest properly. There is nothing to worry about, after all. I will take good care of your son. '

To skewer a piece of chicken through a stick would have been a harder task than to convince Hashibira Kotoha that her son was safe and sound under the Lord Founder's wing. If anything, private time to meditate by the enlightened one's side was seen as an honor. Inosuke... was envied among the others. Envied, for being brought to this cavernous backroom. Envied for being made to sit on the wooden floor and inhale the lingering scent of something metallic and slightly acidic that had eaten through the varnish. The backrooms were not nearly as well-kept as the temple's front, after all. Because so few would visit back here. And even fewer would come out again to attest to the condition.

"How do you feel about your first day in training, huh? I hope you have had a hefty breakfast today, young man. I told the acolytes to offer you a double portion. " The monster giggles. His golden fans spread as if to curse the child with another reminder of that near-death experience. They know it must have come to haunt him. Yet, the everlasting smile plastered on the demon's visage only falters when his tongue sticks out in effort, swinging the weapons as if he expects to make something from the glimmering shards of ice fanned between them.

"Your very first training session should be something memorable, after all! So, I have planned something very special for you. Pft-tee-heeh! " They cant their head with that exaggerated smile, as if they are completely oblivious to the dread in those emerald eyes. And then, out of nowhere; a creature is born. A life sized animal made of pure crystal - scraping its hoof against the wood, blowing frozen air from its nostrils. A boar, made from ice. Douma takes a step back and sits in the middle of the room, crossing his legs. The creature's hollow eyes turn on Inosuke.

"Start running."

And it charges.

Inosuke could only sit in silence as he listened to the monster's inane arguments. He wasn't sure what hurt him more — the palpable pleasure that the monster took in hearing about his pleas, or the gratitude that his mother felt upon hearing that the Lord could remedy to them.

She was sending him straight into the lion's den. Sending him off with a smile, and the certainty that he would come back cured of all woes.

And so he followed the man to the backrooms, holding his chin high in front of the envious ladies that paved the way. He ignored the whispers, the comments and the hushed voices, wishing so dearly that they could understand. He was not going to be healed.

He was going to be destroyed.

He did not humor the man with an answer. Inosuke had forced the food past his own lips, battling against an appetite that had not returned since that night. Flesh may have long healed, his ravaging cold nothing but a distant dream... but the horrors that inhabited his sleep would not fade.

His fists balled by his sides as he waited for the verdict, waited to see what kind of torture he was about to be submitted to. Ice taking shape, out of thin air, a form that was all too familiar to him.

A wild boar, the likes of the ones he had obserbed from afar so many times on his little forest escapades.

Except this one wasn't idly burying its snout into the ground, looking for fresh mushrooms or acorns. Its eyes, terrifyingly void of conscience, were locked right on the boy. This large, live boar of ice was about to charge at him.

Inosuke did not need to be told twice. He bolted off, arms clawing at the air before him, as if grasping for help that would never come. His gaze darted around the room, looking for something, anything he could use to defend himself. A loose plank, a piece of decoration, even a wooden stick would do.

What could his small, weak hands do against the creature's tusks and bulk?

[the-love-cafe]

hiii ^_^ i’d like to submit my thoughts for the spill the coffee event (and to also share how thankful and fond and amazed i am with this blog ~ it reminds me that there’s still good in those world, thank you for creating such a positive and precious platform) 🖤

i’ve realized i fell for a dear friend of mine. worst of all, without even talking about it, we’ve drifted apart.. it’s been months since we talked and saw each other regularly but she slowly stopped talking to me altogether and i’ve never been a brave person so the few chances i had to ask her to meet and chat (bc that’s one of the things about us: we could talk for hours and hours about anything and she always listened to me without any judgment), i never took it bc i didn’t want to be a bother. all i have left is nostalgia, regret, and memories of her. there’s not much one person can do with that when you can’t even get closure. everyday i think about her and it’s sort of difficult to try and forget when i see in her just about everything. i’m also 99.9999% sure she’d never reciprocate my feelings.

i just have all this love for her and i’m not sure what to do with it.

(didn’t mean to be such a downer >_< sorry~) thank you for listening to me <3 i’d love to buy a jasmine tea and a pain au chocolat please ^^ have a good day!

your sweet order is done! if you let me do a comment, i want to say how lovely it was to read this. it's very sad, of course, to know that you two drifted away. is bittersweet knowing that such a beautiful feeling as love was given to a friend. i hope you don't feel bad about yourself. i hope you can tell yourself how brave you are for choosing to love someone, even if it wasn't answered. i hope i made sense hihi. ♡ (p.s: tysm for liking our cafe! we are very happy to read that. 💞) taking your order; barista - star ☆.

ITEM NAME ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏- QTY - AMOUNT

JASMINE TEA ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏- 01 ͏ ͏͏- ♡1.00

PAIN AU CHOC. ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏- 02 ͏ ͏͏- ♡1.20

CONFESSION DISCOUNT ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏- ♡1.00

----------------------------------------------------

͏ ͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏͏YOUR TOTAL IS - ♡1.20

thank you for purchasing . . .

ⅽ[ː̠̈ː̠̈ː̠̈] ͌ spill the coffee event | how to confess ✉︎

[sometipsygnostalgic]

hi! in re to your post about your diagnosis, do you mind saying a tiny bit abt the process? im asking bc i have thought RLLY hard over the past few months on the possibility that i may be autistic- like, a lot of things ive wondered about myself would make more sense if i was and the idea of that has brought some peace to me. but i have NO idea how to go abt the process of talking with a mental health professional abt it and/or getting a diagnosis. i totally understand if you don’t want to share abt your process at all and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable with this question, so please feel free to ignore it. but if you are willing to share like the first step that you took in the process, i would rlly appreciate it! im just confused rn. anyway, i hope you’re having a good day/week/month lol :^)

hi anon!

I live in the United Kingdom, there are two options here, you can ask for a referral from the NHS, or you can self-refer privately which will cost £2000 for an assessment...

so what I did for my autism assessment is go to my doctors surgery, and explain to a doctor that I suspected I was autistic. I gave my reasons why - difficulty at school, difficulty with crowds, I talk really bluntly, sometimes i can become very anxious very fast - and the doctor recognised there were enough symptoms for a referral.

the autism referral centre eventually sent me a series of questionnaires, some were for me, some were for my father or for some other person who has known me since i was a child (i dont know what you're supposed to do if you have nobody).

i didnt' like the questionnaires because they were confusing, you have to give relative answers for what you think your own behaviour is, some things i would have problems with relative to friends but not relative to people with severe learning difficulties (like my cousin who is also autistic and is 8 but cannot speak more than a few words), so i wasnt sure what exactly i was meant to answer with there.

i procrastinated for like 5 months on submitting those forms (it was hell). then they decided i sounded autistic enough for a proper assessment and put me on a waiting list.

when it came time for the actual assessment which took place 15 months later, I was referred by the NHS to a third party because of the backlog, so it was all done remotely rather than me going to a centre.

my father and i were given more questionnaires (which were bugged, make sure that any online forms you're sent don't delete your answers in one column when you're filling in another column). my dad's questionnaire was MASSIVE and went really into my early childhood, asking whether i had brain injuries or stuff like that. the idea is they want to rule out the possibility of misdiagnosis, whether my autistic traits are a result of something else.

i was given a questionnaire too and i found it somewhat confusing, they asked me how i would feel if i got a positive/negative result on the diagnosis. i thought this was to catch me out. it's probably to make sure people aren't going to kill themselves if they're told they're autistic or not autistic, but i think the questions were weird anyway. i answered as much of the other questions as i could in relation to autism.

when it came to an actual assessment, i was asked questions for an hour and a half over camera, largely about my own emotional responses to things. i was also asked to help narrate a visual storybook, and to tell stories with inanimate objects. it was part of the adult assessment, and again it was to rule out other conditions, rather than to indicate whether i was autistic, because lets just say that i am very good at making stories up on the spot.

my dad meanwhile was interviewed for 3 hours about my childhood. when i was done with my assessment i joined him for that questioning and filled in the blanks, because my dad wasn't actually around for a large part of my childhood.

a few hours later we had the diagnostic call and they told me i was autistic and that they will send a report (still waiting) with information on this and also on post-diagnostic support services in my area, which i think is going to be very useful.

[meticulac]

Looking Back on a Game Jam Attempt that I Fumbled Pretty Hard

I'll just list a few things I remember from trying to make a game for the Hawktober Horrors 2024 game jam. It didn't become an entry both because I ended up slightly late to submit and because I did not have much of a game to show anyway: Feel free to download it from the link above, it's a few minutes of very glitchy Pacman-like gameplay and also you have to manually close and restart the game every time your character dies. I guess I should upload the slightly updated version I made a few days later sometime, where it at least resets on its own after a few seconds, but I'd like to make some other improvements before I do that, like adding a title screen, more than one level, and stuff like that.

I'll also want to try and fix the weird bug causing the enemy character The Decider to navigate weird, which will probably require learning GameMaker better. I'm also thinking of trying to implement the game in another system, probably LowRes NX since it's likely to fit the limitations of that anyway. However, that brings me to an issue that messed up the first part of my attempt at making this game, which was using uncertainty on what type of game to make and what tools to use leading me to procrastinate on actually making the game.

So, first, I had look up the jam and accidentally ran into a previous year's version, so I came up with an idea that didn't really fit the movie trope theme of this year's jam. I don't want to go into detail on what I came up with then, mostly because I used an idea I had for a tabletop game quest and now I figure I'll put it back to using it that way.

Anyway, after I found the right page I took a while to decide on making a heist game with Pacman-like navigation, but then I took a long time deciding what to make it with. I was toying with Bitmello recently, but, and the jam recommended making a downloadable games as preferable over web based ones, which also meant I wouldn't be using MicroStudio or plain Javascript. For a bit I considered using Amulet, but that was a bit barebones for me to teach myself and then use to throw together something for a game jam in a few weeks. After that I looked at Lowres NX and Homegirl Pro, both of which seemed promising, but I wasn't sure if making it so you need to download a separate player and use that to load the game might be too fiddly for game jam purposes.

Regardless, I think picking any of them quickly would have left me in a better position than waiting, to give me more time to learn the ins and outs of the system and actually get something made. When I did choose GameMaker, it was so long since I last used it that I didn't even know how to make tile collisions, so currently there's just a single block object for all the walls. I could have at least made them invisible and put them over tiles to make the walls look nice, but I was spending a bunch of time trying to make the movement controls working right.

Specifically, I was trying to get movement working like in Pac-Man, where if you try to turn toward a wall you're running along, you keep going forward until you reach a corner int hat direction. It can feel pretty nice to do that once you're used to it, since it lets you anticipate where you're trying to go instead of having to get your timing just right. Anyway, Game Maker is not really designed to do that, so it was a hard to get it just right to where your character deters a wall to the side of itself without just getting stuck on it.

I got it sort of working, but only if you were already on the side of the hallway you were trying to turn towards, otherwise you would turn and move a few pixels forward before hitting the opposite wall. I probably should have left it at that, because my effort to make it perfect just took so much time I ended up taking the whole thing out instead of even rolling it back and making the simplest possible collision I could just to have time to actually make the rest of the game, hastily tossing in the enemy character, collectable gems, the exit, and Game Over/Win screens. The enemy navigation is not great because I didn't get it to detect when it's in the middle of a tile, so instead I have it only turn when hitting a wall, and of course some parts of the level arbitrarily prevent it from turning in certain directions properly for reasons I still don't understand.

Maybe I should have stuck to placing a bunch of one-tile blocks instead of stretching them, I have no idea if stretched objects have weird collision or not. Anyway, it's neat that for gems I could just have them randomly tint themselves so easily, and of course I'd like to learn from all this to make a future games more diligently and with and eye to keeping on schedule, preferably using something I'm already familiar with when I decide to enter something with a time limit and not overthink things too much once I do start.

[bbybrahms]

Coming out to tell the story of the Repo! Zine from discord. Idk if there are multiple Repo! servers so to be clear this is all from the server titled 'TESTIFY', since I don't want any other servers reps getting tarnished by this cus I'm sure they're doing a better job than whatever this is.

Maybe it's a case of ESH but I can't clear up anything in the server and already stuffs being said about me, so I'm posting here.

From the start the organisation of the zine was messy. It's a passion project on discord so I really don't expect perfectly organised perfection, but it was red flags from day one.

Firstly, before anything started, we were led to believe that it was going to charity, specifically a palestinian charity. For me, that was a leading motivator in applying. Although iirc one person argued against it being palestinian (suspicious), there were ppl looking at different charities and essentially it was very heavily implied by the end that would be what we're doing. Except this was never brought up again.

The lack of communication was astounding. Contributors weren't outwardly informed their application was successful, a channel was just silently made and roles silently given. It took weeks to get info on the dimensions/format/deadline etc. (the deadline was given 2 WEEKS before any info on filetypes and colour profiles etc) and a lot of the time it would be organisers going "idk I'll ask this person" "idk wait for that person to respond" just no respect for the creatives they'd gotten involved. Zero communication. Told us next to nothing for Weeks.

At this point, I wasn't seeing these as red flags I just waited for the info I needed then got on with it.

I submit my piece a few days early, then when the deadline comes I'm curious what the other contributors did so took a nosy peak in the folder (idk if this is frowned upon or not I just wanted to see others art and mine was in the same folder so I think it's ok?) But there's like 1/4 of the amount there should be in there and this is a small project to begin with. So I follow up and get told the deadlines actually moved (was this decided privately or could they just not be bothered to chase up late submissions? Idk?)

The deadline gets moved 4 times total - a lot of the time after the deadlines been, like they'd message day after for example like "btw deadlines moved". This drags the project out months more than it originally was meant to be. The creatives who submitted on time are told nothing, they just have to wait what will happen to their art.

A final deadline finally happens. They say it's final, everyone agrees. Many people have dropped out at this point and frankly I should have done the same, but since I had already submitted I didn't really see the point in calling quits so late.

After the deadlines been, there's no word. So a little while later (iirc just under a month but don't quote me on this), I chase up again about how we haven't heard anything. I get told the zines still on, the deadlines closed, things are in the works. This was early July.

In early August, someone else follows up and ask if the zine is still on and if they should post the work they made for their submission on their own. OVER A MONTH LATER(mid September), they are told they can post their work if they so please. In this same convo, a mod comes in to say they'll probably get started that week - and then ask what file type we're doing. The deadline was in June. The disrespect to the people who put hours of work into a submission for a fandom they obviously care deeply about. Not only is it months before anyone is told what's being done with their work, not only is getting a response like pulling teeth, the people organising reveal they've only just given a single thought to how they're actually going to put it together. I see this and while I don't really care about whether or not my submission makes it into the zine, I feel so bad for the other contributors who showed so much interest and enthusiasm for this project.

So first day of October (last we heard was in mid-September, deadline was end of June, whole thing began in April where the original deadline was 6 weeks), I'm like "whatever, I'm over this zine, I'll take the L and whatever discord mod wrath this server has to offer, and point out how poorly they're treating their contributors." So I tell them straightforward that the zine has been a mess from day one and that their lack of communication is disrespectful and rude, not responding for over a month is just lazy and again rude.

I'll just post what I said:

(I use light mode because I can't read light text on a dark background easily, so no one needs to go 'haha lightmode')

I absolutely stand by every word btw. The zine was a joke. The lack of respect for the creatives was just so bad, the lack of communication, the lack of organisation. All of it.

I get this in response:

one mod says "contact me if you want your piece removed" and the other mod says "if you contact anyone I'll report you for harassment"

Anyway... yeah. I get told I'M the one being disrespectful, they don't bother remembering I was the one who checked in TWICE (guess I'm forgettable that way), I get called disgraceful, embarrassing and told I should never work professionally at all?? and that I'm a disgrace to the art community. And that I'm overreacting. Haha ok.

I'd also like to bring back how we were all lead to believe this would be for charity. And suddenly it's no ones priority? Were the mods never intending to actually follow through with the charity thing or did they just forget completely since it was six months ago this was decided? Ig if anyone would be interested in buying a Repo! zine just donate to Palestine instead. Safer that way.

As you can see in the screenshots, I got timed out🫶 I can't respond to any of this and basically have to just let them lie about me never checking in and being a rude and horrible disgrace out of nowhere, also implying I don't have my own stuff going on which is Bold to say the least.

Seeing as this was the first time anyone got a response on the same day, I hope at least I helped the other contributors by spiting the mods into action? Idk? Regardless, I'd say I dodged a bullet and the mods showed their true colours. I don't want my submission used but if I contact anyone I'm getting reported (to who??) for harassment (it was one message) so I just removed my submission from the folder and hope no copies were made🤞

If anyone in the server sees this: I stand by what I said, please don't include my work, and see you round ig✌️

I don't think I'll join another Repo! server, I love Repo! it's a huge passion of mine, I'll continue making art for it when I feel like, but yeah. That's my experience in the 'TESTIFY' server. It kinda sucked.