#it took me a bit to find my own answer tbh (and i'm not even completely sure) - so now i want to know yours!!

[yellowloid]

if you want, reblog to elaborate on your answer and why not, maybe even add the song (from the album you chose or one of the others) that, again, you think is most representative of them. curious to see what everyone thinks!! ��

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.

[wiidvw]

National Anthem

LINKS FOR PALESTINE.

pairing. Victoria Neuman x Black ! Fem ! Reader

summary. Vice president Neuman, your girlfriend, is always busy, but among the chaos of her job, she somehow finds time in between for you.

content. Fluff. Smut—fingering, oral sex(r receiving). Written with a black!reader in mind, but anybody can read tbh.

𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗩𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗔𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 is fun. You often went to events with Victoria such as galas or rallies. But, once the excitement ran out, and she needed to focus on her vice president duties, it sucked. Victoria worked in her office day and night, which caused her to come home late. She came so late that you didn't see her until morning when she was getting prepared to leave. Sometimes, you were lucky to be able to have lunch with her—even if it was for thirty minutes.

     Following your normal routine, you washed your face, splashing your face with the cool water from the sink.

The rushing water was so loud you didn't hear the bedroom door open and creak close. You reached for a towel until your hands wrapped around the soft material and patted your face dry.

     You opened your eyes and stared at Victoria's reflection in your bedroom as she removed her jacket. “Babe?” You questioned, confirming if you were imagining things, or if she was there.

      “Yeah?” She answered back, glancing at you through the mirror.

     You slid the headband, which held back your hair, off your head and left it on the bathroom counter. “You're home early today,” you commented as you exited the bathroom. Victoria removed her makeup, dragging a makeup wipe across her face.

     She stepped into the bathroom. "Singer let me go home early. Thank God—I was thinking about popping my own head.”

You chuckled at her comment as you put your hair up. “Well, I'm happy you didn't do that because then,”—you walked toward the bathroom, wrapping your arms around Victoria's waist, and resting your chin on her shoulder—"you wouldn't be able to make up for all the times I've missed you.”

     You smiled, staring at her through the mirror until she turned her head, the corner of her lips curled upward. “I'd like that,” she kissed you gently, lips soft against yours.

     “You better hurry up before I fall asleep,” you walked out of the bathroom and laid down in bed, watching Victoria as she changed into comfortable clothes to sleep in.

     After a couple of minutes, she lay down beside you, your lips curling into a smile, you said, “Took you long enough.”

     Victoria rolled her eyes at your remark and kissed you. This time she kissed you more roughly, one of her hands resting on your cheek, the other planted on your thigh, fingers wrapping around the flesh. She slotted her thigh between yours, pressing against your clothed crotch. Her skin against your bought a warmth that you could get from a hot fire in the winter, making you melt against her as she swallowed all your noises.

     Her hand on your cheek trailed downward to the hem of your shirt, slowly sliding under your shirt until she reached your breast, pulling a groan from her when you leaned into her touch.

     She bit her lip when you started rocking your hips against her thigh. “You missed me that bad?”

You nodded, wrapped your arms around her neck. You could've been embarrassed, but you missed her and needed her so bad.

     “You gonna show me how bad you need me?” She asked, hand sliding upward to your hip. You nodded again, staring into her brown eyes. “Good girl.”

     Her words went straight to your core, making you want to please her more. You began to move your hips faster, trying to reach your climax sooner.

     “Need help, baby?” Victoria whispered into your ear, her grip on your hip tightening.

     “Please,” you begged, heat rushing to your face.

She buried her face in your neck, sucking and kissing at the flesh as she guided your hips. She grinned against your skin at your moaning and whimpering. She loved seeing you like this—mostly because it was for her and nobody else. But, she was getting impatient herself, and she needed you too.

     She planted her other hand on your hip, stopping your hips. “Vic—” you started, but she stopped you, smashing her lips on yours as she pushed you onto your back and climbed on top of you. Her hands fell to your shorts, pushing them down along with your panties.

     Her fingers brushed your aching clit, pulling a gasp from your lips. Victoria smiled against your lips before moving to the edge of the bed. She grabbed your thighs, placing them over her shoulders, and stared at you as she licked a strip up your dripping cunt, causing you to throw your head back, hands burying in her black hair.

     She wrapped her lips around your clit, sucking harshly as her fingers teased your entrance, making your hips buck. She rested a hand on your lower stomach keeping you still. She slid her middle and ring finger into your hole, setting a steady pace, thrusting her fingers into you. Her tongue circled your bundle of nerves, humming in satisfaction at your moans.

     You tugged at her as she helped you reach your climax. “Vic,” you cry, but she quickly quiets you.

     “Shh, baby, I know,” she reassured you, looking up at your face and how it contorted in pleasure. Her fingers quickened, curling them at certain times.

     All it took was a couple harsh sucks on your clit for you to fall over the edge. You squeezed Victoria's head with your thighs, tugging harshly at her hair. Victoria slid her fingers out and licked stripes up your cunt, drinking your juices.

     As you slowly came down from your high, you squirmed, overstimulation setting in. You pushed her head away, making her chuckle at your reaction. She pulled away and moved to lay beside you. She kissed you, and you could taste yourself on her tongue. When she pulled away, you couldn't help but stare into her brown eyes.

     “What about you?” You asked.

     She furrowed her eyebrows. “Hm? Oh, I can wait ‘til morning. Tonight was about you. Now, let's go to sleep, and then, you can worry about me in the morning.”

     You nodded and scooted closer to her, allowing Victoria to wrap her around you until you fell asleep first.

[ell-vellan]

A random collection of Veilguard Thoughts after completing the game, because I need to vent some feelings. spoilers below!

Firstly: I was going to love this game regardless. I came into it with the fewest amount of spoilers possible. I do love this game. I won't argue with anyone - if we have different opinions, that's fine! I won't tolerate hate, though.

This is my messy stream of consciousness, but let's start with the good stuff!

The Good:

-Gameplay was fun! Combat was fun and inventive, for someone who plays on Storyteller mode and tries to get through combat as fast as possible so I can get back to the story, it rarely aggravated me.

-The maps/puzzles are fun. They were usually easy enough to figure out on my own without looking it up, but just complex enough I felt smart when I got it. I like that the game almost always rewards you for looking around and exploring off the beaten path a bit.

-It felt like a spiritual successor to Mass Effect 2 in the way that you have to build your team up in order to save the world. I loved that.

-The griffons coming back is one of the best things in the Dragon Age universe ever, and I love that we could decide what to do with them. (But I'm kind of concerned that there's only 12, and they're...related? I feel like that's not enough individuals to grow the species back...)

-Letting us pet and hug Assan (with different animations!) over and over was one of the best things they ever did. Also, photo mode was a great idea.

-The little hints about Those Beyond The Sea we keep getting?! Dear God, I hope we get another game and get more lore. I'm dying to know. They've teased this for so long, I really, really wanna know what's up with this part of the world.

-i loved being able to choose our body proportions.

-I'm so thankful we got to make our Inquisitor and keep the same vallaslin and voice actor. I hate the outfit they gave them and how we had no choice in it, and I would have also preferred to have a choice in their prosthetic, but I'm grateful for what we did get. The missives from them were also a nice touch, and seeing the letter from the Inquisitor's love interest was SO HEALING. Tbh, in reality, I think the Inquisitor would have been involved WAY more, especially since the crossroads would have made travel basically instant across Thedas. But I get why Rook needed to stand on their own two feet.

-Morrigan/Mythal was a great touch. It made sense logically, there was character growth, and I'm glad Mythal wasn't gone entirely, but I wish we could know what's become of Kieran.

-All the VAs are so good. the world felt lush, magical, twisted, and fun, with just the right amount of tragedy and horror balanced with hope and love. Arlathan was gorgeous and tragic and horrific and I took SO MANY photos.

-we got more Dalish and more Qunlat words!!

-THE LORE. So many questions finally answered. I kind of thought we would learn that the Black City was actually the prison Solas made for the gods, but hey, maybe next time? I also still want to know if Andraste was real and more about the origins of elves as spirits, but alas...

-i loved the inventory system. I wish we could have sold equipment we didn't need instead of just the valuables, but it's a minor quibble. It was so much easier to manage, I didn't have to waste a bunch of time going through everything to find the best items for everyone

-ARCHON DORIAN PAVUS !! He was barely in the game which made me sad, but the fact that he was there at all and so glorious was wonderful. I wonder if people new to the game know or care about the significance of him being in charge of Tevinter, though, since we didn't even really get to have a conversation with him

About Solas:

I played thru DAI on release day. My first Inquisitor romanced him. When Everything Happened(tm) I was PISSED. I wanted revenge on Solas, I wanted to hunt him down. I've thought about him for 10 years, and now I am so wistful for more of him. I want to give him a hug. Moreover I want Lavellan to hug him.

Solas was INCREDIBLE in this. I loved, loved getting to see his memories firsthand - this was more than I'd hoped for - and the banter with Rook was one of the best parts of the game. Seeing him with hair - seeing him change into Fen'harel and fight a DRAGON? him helping us in the fade by baiting Elgar'nan and getting all bloody and beat up trying to help us, thinking he was going to trick us one final time? My wildest dreams came true. He was layered, he was complex, he was incredibly heroic and sympathetic and tortured and clever and absolutely ruthless. He was at turns heartbreakingly sincere and infuriatingly traitorous.

He showed a wide range of emotion; we got to see the real Solas, not the polite pretender of Inquisition. He was the shining star of the game for me. And he was sorely lacking.

We hardly got to speak to him!! It drove me nuts that we couldn't talk to him as much as our other companions. He literally knows the most about our enemies and how to defeat them. And we know he's probably planning some trickery in his lil mind prison. Why are we not checking on Solas at every chance we get?

Learning more about and speaking with Mythal? Chef's kiss. But I so, so wish that a romanced Inquisitor, along with Mythal's release of Solas, was what prompted Solas to realize there could be more to his life than rebellion and penance. He's betrayed everyone he's ever loved, and killed his closest friends, but he didn't kill her. Mythal represents his past, she's the origin of where it all went wrong - I wanted Solas to see a Lavellan that understands and forgives, even after everything, and that universal acceptance is the thing he needs to finally let go of trying to make up for what he's done. (It's fine, I'll just write a fanfic about it, whatever)

My Complaints:

-That we only can choose 3 possible variables for worldbuilding to keep from Inquisition. I think this the biggest, most egregious and disrespectful thing they did in the game, and I'm sure it's been talked about to death, but I'll just add that I hate it. I'll live with it - I'd rather they be vague than ret-con or kill off beloved characters off-screen - but still, what's the point of all of our previous choices if we don't get to see how they shape this world?

-The relationships felt SHALLOW. For a game that revolves around your companions, everything felt surface level. While I loved that almost every time you went to the Lighthouse, people were somewhere different and talking to each other, I HATED that Rook couldn't participate in their conversations. We only listened. I hate that we couldn't really ever initiate any long, deep conversations where we got to ask our companions strings of questions about themselves and their histories. I feel like I barely know Neve or Lucanis. I did like getting a bit more in depth with characters during their missions, but still...I feel like I barely know them, not the deep closeness I've felt with Dragon Age companions in the past. Nobody ever argues or disagrees with you, not really, just a couple times and it doesn't truly matter. I loved the companions. Their designs are so cool. I wanted to know everything about them and talk to them more. Why can't we ask Davrin about his vallaslin (it's obviously Ghilan'nain) and how he feels about it now that we are fighting her, especially if we're also an elf? And Bellara, why can't we ask about her tattoo and where her clan is and how she joined the Veil Jumpers? Why can't we ask Neve about her prosthetic? I loved the references to Inquisition in Harding's design, but since we couldn't import more than 3 things, she couldn't even talk about the Inquisition beyond the most vague things. Taash barely speaks at all. Emmrich has no life beyond the dead.

-The companions are so...one-note. Taash brings up being non-binary at every. single. quest, even though their adaari-ness and crossroads between being Qun and being Rivani was super interesting to me. (more on Taash in a minute.) Lucanis likes coffee. Davrin's personal quests mention "torlum" ad nauseum and the fact that Assan eats a lot. Bellara at least talks about other interests, but everyone else is so predictable. Even their banter doesn't seem to give them a lot of individual personality.

-the body models for female elves felt..a bit odd? My Rook always looked bow-legged. And do bras not exist in Thedas anymore? Lol

-The choice of who dies? HEART-WRENCHING. why was it between those two?! Why isn't the romance scene until AFTER this choice? Why doesn't the thing that happens with Harding and The Stone protect her (I thought it would!) and why don't we get any resolution to that if we lose her? I understand that Davrin was prepared to sacrifice himself as a Grey Warden, but making us lose Assan too...? Cruelty. That's what it is.

-I don't like that there are permanent deaths that happen regardless of our choices. That sucks. I know it's realistic, but this is a game, and I want my happily ever after for everyone, DAMN IT! The twist truly shook me, and I didn't see it coming. I didn't think I'd be caught by surprise and I was.

-The characterization of Rook is all over the place. I played an elven Rook with non-traditional vallaslin (figuring that the newer generation of Dalish Veil Jumpers might blend tradition with their new focus of exploring the Veil.) At various times, my Rook has said these things: "I didn't grow up with the Dalish." "I'm Dalish where it counts. "As a fellow Dalish--" WHICH IS IT? I'm in the most elfy faction, it's not even that I picked something unlikely for an elf with a face tattoo. I don't know what you have to do, what flags you have to trigger in the code, but the game still seems so confused about who our characters are. Pick a lane, Rook!

-While I'm on this subject: it would have been so nice to be able to know from the character creator what every kind of tattoo, body paint, and scar pattern went with what faction. And for the Dalish, which god matched to which vallaslin. It would have blown my mind in a good way if our choice of vallaslin came up in any way shape or form

-I would have loved if our race and faction actually like..mattered more. Walking around the Veil Jumper camp at the beginning and nobody talking to me except Strife and Irelin, that was so boring! Nobody recognizes you or asks how you've been. Just silence. Like everyone around you is a cardboard cutout. I expected more from Bioware.

-We got so much amazing lore in this game, and I'm really happy about it! But why did Bioware have to take the most marginalized group of people in Thedas, who were barely clinging to their own language and culture and freedom to begin with, and make everything bad that ever happened THEIR FAULT? What was the thought process there? That they used to have power but their leaders were in fact so terrible that they tore themselves apart and now live on the fringes of society? It makes it feel like the elves deserved their present fate, which is...pretty sucky. I'm glad they did not massacre the elves in this game as they have in the past, and that the elves didn't become even MORE the enemy by joining with the gods, but it really feels like the humans are only going to kill more elves in retribution for their gods almost ending the whole world. Also, related: nobody ever gives us sass about being an elf, not even in Minrathous, where elves are almost entirely slaves?!

-i know everything's changing with the lore stuff we typically know, but why did it seem that existing physically in the Fade is just no big deal anymore?

-at no point does Harding mention Varric dying? They don't have a funeral, a memorial? The Inquisitor says nothing, Morrigan says nothing? I know Solas messed with rook's mind, but even after...?

-the fact that the romance scenes don't happen until after the deaths. So it's possible for your love interest to die before that? Cruelty. Also, weird places to hook up, right after I just found out someone I thought has been alive this whole time DIED AT THE BEGINNING, and another dear friend sacrificed themselves, and we aren't sad at all during this? I understand sex after loss is perfectly normal and I understand that. But at least for the scene I saw, there was no "celebration of being alive" feel, it felt...more lustful than loving? Just an abrupt tonal shift.

-it just...ends. there's the typical little wrap up slides, but they're, again, shallow. A few lines here and there. Apparently the whole of Thedas was nearly destroyed, and not a single country went unscathed, but it's all gonna be ok! The bit of hope was nice, but...I don't feel settled at all. And it seems like we won't get DLC? which...ugh. and they fired the writers, which, again, cruel. If they make another Dragon Age, I can't see it being truly Dragon Age without them.

-i decided to make Taash's whole deal and the Qun a separate post lol

All in all - so thankful we got this game, so thankful we got what we did, I'm still processing a lot of it, and the past 3 weeks of my life I have done little else but live inside this story, but I just really need to scream into the void now!!

[cafeinthemoon]

King - Chapter VI

Chapter 6

Wordcount 5,6k

Title A Kingdom of Women

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warnings: Mentions of unwanted pregnancies; multiple pregnancies; basically, Poseidon is not a good man

Tagging @cloveradora @the-dumber-scaramouche @mikkies @sl33py-zer0 @nooneknows8976 (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Wow, finally a new chapter for this story! Even I find it hard to believe lol As pointed out by a reader in the comments, this story demands a lot of effort, and one of the reasons is obviously the chapters' lenght. This time, it's longer than all the others, as a compensation for the lack of updates. Tbh many things happened in the last weeks that kept me away from my works, but I don't want to discuss them here. It's not worthy.

Here are some hints about this chapter:

I tried to make Poseidon's character closer to his mythological version, which includes his relations with women. Though he doesn't make a proper appearance in this one, his presence is felt in each event, each sentence. He's the main subject of the conversations, whether in a positive or negative way. I love when this kind of stuff is included in stories to emphasize the importance of a character, and I hope I managed to do it right :)

Here we will have the first solid (or not) info about Amphitrite. I like Amphitrite's figure, and I will turn her into an important part of the structure here.

Of course, the selkie's skin is in her husband's possession. The thing with selkies' skin doesn't sit right to me, and I used this concept to create another source of tension for this story.

Finally, I'm sorry for the big delay and I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

Yes, you have to stay vigilant, but no one can do this forever. Even the strongest can get exhausted. So, you need to relax. The thing is that you must learn when and where – and with who – you will allow yourself to rest. This can be scary in the beginning, and you will feel the most terrifying loneliness, but experience will come, and you will find balance.

Remember: your home is where your friends are.

When you were sent back to the lodge, the only things you wanted were a bit of silence and a moment by yourself, so you could process the events of the last day, your new position as a married woman and the task that was now in your hands: how would you manage to do something that only the most experienced masters were able to do, you who were never trained in any form of combat, not even in the use of knives? Yes, you did get your wish of not bearing a child answered, but were you really successful in your negotiations with your husband? You doubted that, and as to keep you in your place, he made sure you didn’t think you were.

Well, contrary to your wishes, once you stepped into the room and were left there by the servant (the same who took you to the ceremony’s preparations), you were barely allowed to readjust in it, because Alyssa was just too excited to see you again: ignoring your requests for her to be careful, she left her spot at the window and almost ran toward you when the door was opened, her hands around her belly as to protect the baby from her own recklessness.

– Y/n?! Y/n! Is that really you?!

You sighed in relief when she stopped in front of you with no troubles, but didn’t have time to think of this because the girl wrapped her arms around you and gave you the tightest hug that her condition allowed her.

– You’re finally back! – her voice was a rushed whisper – You should have been sent back yesterday, so when the night passed with no sign of you, I feared that something might have happened to you! But I’m glad you’re okay…

Though you were touched by those words, you preferred not try to wonder what Alyssa had in mind.

– Thank you – you moved away to look into her eyes – He decided to keep me with him for the entire night, so I had no choice. I’m sorry for causing you such anxiety.

You went to sit with her on your bed.

– So, yes, I’m back, but I don’t think okay is the best word to describe myself right now.

The girl frowned.

– No? How so?

You stood in silence for a moment, trying to find the appropriate way to turn your thoughts into words... And, when you did, was solely to provoke in your friend a laughing crisis.

– So… – you started – You told me that many things could happen once I found myself in Poseidon-sama’s presence… But why didn’t you tell me that this included being carried around like a bag of potatoes?

The sound of Alyssa’s laughter filled the enormous room before you could even finish the word potatoes. Her body trembled as she fought to control it, covering her mouth and closing her eyes tight, tears rolling through her hands. At first, you showed impatience – after all, being laughed at by a god by what he saw as fragility was a serious matter to you – but her reaction was so genuine that you just couldn’t stay mad.

– Alyssa, that’s not funny, okay? I didn’t enjoy being treated like that! It was humiliating and I just want to forget it!

– A bag of potatoes! Just imagine the Lord of the Seas carrying one! I can’t!

– Stop it! – you yelled, laughing too.

She took a deep breath and, then, was finally able to speak normally again.

– I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help it! I was so worried about you and then, when you finally come back, this is the first thing you have to say? – she raised her hands in rendition – It’s just too hilarious!

You rolled your eyes.

– I wish I could see things that way.

Calming down, Alyssa gave you another reason for her attitude.

– Well, actually, it’s not just funny. I’m also surprised that he did this to you as well.

Now, you were the surprised one.

– What do you mean?

– When I was brought to the altar, I was wearing a transparent dress, so the first thing that Poseidon-sama noticed was the size of my legs – the girl explained – He didn’t say anything about them, but his disappointment filled the space between us. When he grabbed my hand and took me to the chambers where our wedding would be consummated, he made a comment about me being too slow and started carrying me on his shoulder – and, as if deliberating with herself, – But you’re a bit taller than me, you know? You must be able to walk faster… – she shrugged – Well, I guess this isn’t enough for him as well… – turning back to you, she suddenly changed the subject – But what about the wedding? The first time you saw him? What did you think? How did it feel like? Tell me everything!

Your cheeks got warm when you recalled the wedding night. You still had mixed feelings about it, so that you weren’t cheering for all that happened, at the same time that you weren’t really sad. But since you were still trying to digest such feelings, you sensed that this wasn’t the time to discuss them; Alyssa could be an understanding friend in case you did it, but you wouldn’t overwhelm her when she was so content for having you back.

– Well, I… Since our family was never devoted to any god, I had no idea of what to expect – you started – I just thought that Poseidon-sama would be similar to the statues we use to see in the temples’ entries and the public spaces. So I was really surprised when I finally saw him – you lowered your tone – He’s beautiful… And with a beauty that’s simply impossible for any human!

– I know – Alyssa commented – He firmly believes that gods are the ultimate bearers of perfection, so he does anything to embody this idea.

You chuckled.

– And I have to say it works in his case. Still, there are some unsettling things about him, such as, when you only take his appearance into account, you might think he’s around our age, but when you look into his eyes, this illusion disappears, and he looks older than everyone, anything you know… – a shiver appeared on your neck and went down your back while you remembered the god’s eyes – Older and terrifying.

Alyssa had an explanation for this.

– He’s one of the eldest deities from Greece, and was chosen to rule over the Domain of the Seas before the mythological ages. Water is a primordial element from all known worlds, including ours, you know? It’s only appropriate.

– Makes sense.

– Besides… you probably noticed that he’s not exactly a mild-tempered man – she lowered her voice, as if afraid of being heard by anyone beyond you.

You remembered the quake on the day you arrived and could only agree.

– This is why I was so worried for you, y/n – Alyssa continued – You’re just so lucky that he didn’t find any reasons to be displeased with you…

You bit your lip.

– Well… maybe he already did.

Your friend opened her mouth and closed it again, and you felt her fear and preoccupation in that small gesture. She asked what were you talking about.

– When Poseidon-sama took me to the chambers where we would have our wedding night, I made him a request – you swallowed – I asked him not to impregnate me.

Alyssa needed to make a superhuman effort to not scream when she heard that.

– You what?! But, how did you…?! – she shook her head – Do you have any idea of what it means to ask such thing from a god? Even more Poseidon-sama?

You let out an impatient sigh.

– I didn’t want to come here and I didn’t want to get married! You already know that – and, calming down a bit, – Not bearing a child was the last hint of freedom I could think of maintaining in this place, so I risked everything I still had (which wasn’t that much) in a deal with him. I’m a merchant, don’t you remember? – you shrugged – This preservation instinct... it runs in our blood.

The other girl frowned, still not believing that you indeed negotiated with Poseidon.

– Well, can you tell me the whole story, then?

– Of course.

And for the next minutes you recalled the events of that night, as well as the mission you received from your husband that morning, moments before he sent you back to the lodge, not hiding anything – except the nickname he gave you. Alyssa listened to each word carefully, not making a single interruption, but the sudden changes in her expression as the story followed revealed everything you needed to know about her feelings towards it.

In the end, by the fact that you returned to the room and the consistence of your narration, she was convinced that the god answered your plead; besides, she remembered seeing a small table close to the bed with a bottle upon it, both similar to the objects you described, and it was easy to imagine that there was a contraceptive fluid inside it.

However, she didn’t think her husband agreed with this deal as if moved by anything that resembled mercy, and she said that to you.

– By what I could see from him, I agree with you – was your reply – The nature of this mission is a proof itself.

Your friend let a hesitant “hm” escape.

– Yes, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about…

– How so?

She gave you a worried gaze.

– I guess I didn’t tell you everything you need to know about being married with the god of the Seas – she moved upon the bed in discomfort – Look… Having children with desirable traits is not the only reason why Poseidon-sama has so many wives. The fact that most of us conceive in our first time with him makes us… unavailable for quite some time, to start with. There are other factors that might separate him from us, such as sickness and recovering periods between one pregnancy and the next, as well as when his presence is requested out of his domains, mostly in councils at Valhalla, which forces him to stay away for weeks, sometimes for months. For all of this, it’s convenient for him that some his wives are infertile or ask him to not have babies.

You frowned. So, there were women who were unable to bear children among you, and that wasn’t a problem for him? And you weren’t the first to make him that type of request? Well, now that you thought about it, it was only logical that you wouldn’t be: Poseidon has been taking wives for centuries, and you couldn’t suppose that all of them were willing to become mothers.

Besides...

– So, you’re telling me that if I’m not having a baby anytime soon, it means that he will…

It was unnecessary to finish the sentence. Alyssa gave you a silent nod. It was now more than clear that your request wasn’t the most clever decision from your part, something that you could have avoided if you were familiar with gods and their whims.

So, he’s this kind of man, then? Honestly, this side of him was clear for all the time we were together.

Still, you had some counterpoints.

– Alyssa, if I’m not the first to make this type of proposal to him, why did you react that way?

– First, because of your courage, perhaps increased by the fact that you know little about gods. Second, because I could never suppose that he would say yes to such proposal coming from a human – she put her hand under her chin, deliberating – He might have had something in mind… Something that we can’t figure out for now…

– Yes, I see, but there are other things that I can’t ignore. For example, what about Amphitrite-sama? She’s a goddess and his first wife. She is above us. I don’t see why he would chase after us when she’s there for him.

The look your friend gave you told you that you were, for one more time, wrong.

– Maybe it’s time for you to know about Amphitrite-sama, y/n.

Alyssa told you that what existed between Poseidon and Amphitrite was a marriage of convenience: she was the daughter of ancient sea deities, who inhabited those lands long before Poseidon’s arrival, and who offered her hand in exchange of their permanence in them; Poseidon accepted the offer as a way to reassure his dominance over the seas, and it has been like this since then. At first, they even tried to live as a normal couple, but it didn’t take long for both to realize it wouldn’t work, so that today they were just two people who shared the same house, and were more like professional partners then husband and wife.

– Amphitrite-sama’s personal life is a mystery to all of us – Alyssa explained – She’s rarely spotted by any of the other wives, and talking to her is almost impossible for us. Only Poseidon-sama, Proteus-sama and the servants are in touch with her routine and habits. We don’t even know exactly her feelings and thoughts towards us: some of the girls believe she hates us, this being the reason why we don’t see her often, but others think she actually cares for us, because she was the first to know the god of the seas as a man, so she’s aware of what is like to be in our place. I’ve never seen her myself, and I’m not sure of what to think, but I think she uses to spend her time out of here, maybe with her family, friends or a lover. I suppose we will never know.

You, from your part, were sure that enduring days and nights beside a man like the Tyrant of the Seas and being forced to accept the presence of thousands of other women in her own house must have been anything but easy. You were able to feel compassion for the goddess, but tried not to think too much about it.

What really interested you about Amphitrite, to be honest, had nothing to do with her private life or marriage.

– I’d understand if she chose to live her life that way. I suppose I myself would do the same if I was in her place – you commented – But, about her role as the Queen of the Seas... how exactly does it work? What are the signs of her presence here?

About this, Alyssa had some words, but they sounded as mysterious as all the rest.

– As far as I know, she shares the administrative matters with her husband, though he’s the one who has the final word in every question – a strange glimmer appeared in her eyes – But I’ve heard some stories that said that she is the real responsible for the maintenance of the palace’s structure, which includes its physical premises, the organization of the staff and their daily routine… and even us.

– What? – you frowned.

– About this, I have my doubts – your friend shrugged – But some say that most of the servants answer directly to her, and that even Proteus-sama fears her. Besides, there are rumors that she has already helped women and their children to leave her husband’s domain forever, as a way to favor the ones who have suffered and to maintain the order, given that the number of women would always vary like this.

– I see.

– Well, whether these stories are true or not, Amphitrite-sama is the Queen of this place, and we should be careful if we ever have to deal with her.

***

During the period that preceded your wedding, you received all your meals inside the lodge by the same hours everyday: since you still haven’t been touched by Poseidon neither you were given the pair of earrings that identified his wives, you still haven’t the right to join the other women in the great hall for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Alyssa had the said right, but due to the aching that her swollen feet provoked in case she insisted on the long walk to the hall, as well as to make you company, she preferred to eat in the room, where you had a small table prepared for this.

However, now that you were married and were free from physical restrictions, you no longer had reasons to keep yourself separated from the others, so right in the day after you were sent back, a servant came to lead you to have your first lunch in the hall.

Even though you were expecting for this, your heart jumped inside your chest with the perspective of entering a large place full of people who you didn’t know and who weren’t exactly receptive to your kind. You thought of asking your friend to come with you, but didn’t have the courage to do so: you would have to learn to survive there sooner or later, without bringing discomfort to anyone. But, without you expecting it, she offered herself to accompany you.

The servant raised an eyebrow at her.

– Are you really in conditions of walking to the great hall?

– I am – Alyssa replied with all the confidence – Besides, this is an important moment for my friend, and I want to be there with her.

The servant looked from her to you, then back to her, but didn’t argue. They asked both of you to follow them and closed the room’s door as you walked out of it.

***

The servant pushed the pair of golden doors before you with little effort, but they obeyed immediately, revealing the great hall in its full glory.

Just like you imagined, it was similar to other places you’ve been at, in a sense that it carried cleanliness, organization and luxury as its pillars, making it as beautiful as those other premises, with walls decorated with marine concepts, columns of white marble, large tables of noble woods and objects coated in gold – and it was as full as the center of a human city in a market day.

To anywhere you looked, you saw a mixture of colors, shapes and sounds created by priestesses of the Northern Waters, selkies, naiads and other kinds of nymphs, mermaids who were able to change their scales and walk with legs, and many other women from different regions of the known worlds, all of them wearing pearls like yours. Some would proudly exhibit the jewels as if they were the meaning of their lives, but others seemed to have forgotten about their presence on their bodies, just like the pearls became part of them; in fact, some didn’t wear them as proper earrings: there were girls who you guessed to be from the depths of the seas, having delicate, translucent fins instead of ears, and the pearls were pierced on their upper sides; others didn’t have visible auricular organs at all, so the pearls were on their heads, necks and, in some cases, on each side of their hairless faces, where their eyebrows would be.

The majority of the women, which bodies were of humanoid shapes, had their pregnancies evident, with rounded bellies covered in loosen dresses, like to the one you were wearing right now, but others seemed to be just like you, with no protuberance to indicate the presence of a child inside them; and there were some who, despite resembling the human form, were carrying baskets on the fold of their arms in order to transport eggs, and those eggs were from different numbers and appearances. You didn’t see children at that place, and this corroborated with what Alyssa told about them being taken from their mothers after the period of essential activities between them, such as breastfeeding.

Indeed, the scene was strange and beautiful, so much that if you didn’t know what kind of place you were at, you could be led to believe that you were in a kingdom of women.

As you walked through the main corridor, having the long tables at both sides, you recognized some of the girls who traveled with you, but most of them you were seeing for the first time. From their part, the reactions were similar to what you saw when you entered the carriage: at each step you took, the looks of curiosity, suspicion, disdain and explicit discontentment for the presence of, not only one, but two human beings in that sacred house burned your skin and made your heart beat faster.

You glanced at Alyssa and noticed her nervousness.

– Are you alright? – you whispered.

– Yes – she mumbled back, with her hands on her belly – It’s just that I’m no longer used to the distance between our room and this place.

– I see – you looked ahead, and spotted the space where you were supposed to take your food – Let’s get something for us and find a calmer spot to sit at.

You stopped in front of the large pans and the mixed scent of spices, seeds and meat invaded your nostrils alongside the steam. Everything seemed tasty, though you could barely recognize the foods. Unlike the things offered to you at the lodge – everything specially selected for your species – the foods were all mixed there, so Alyssa instructed you while you filled your plate, indicating what would be accepted by your body and what you were better stay away from. In the end, you managed to get a good combination of exotic seafood and typical spices from Midgard, and went to one of the tables.

***

The meal was excellent, and you were content for finding a good spot to sit despite the crowd around you. In order to not gather unwanted attention (at least not more than you already received), you avoided talking while you were there, unless it was strictly necessary. You were careful not to make a mess, and cleaned after ourselves before leaving the table.

To be honest, the hall wasn’t as noisy as you expected: it was more like a party were only the rich attended, with a display of good manners, elegance and the sound of soft voices spreading across the air. You never enjoyed being at that type of event while you lived with your father, but you knew how to behave, using your ears more than your eyes, pretending to be absorbed in your current task and only looking around a few times to make sure you became part of the landscape.

Still, a human who has entered the hall for the first time couldn’t be as invisible as she wished, and you noticed the occasional looks from the people near you. There was a woman in special, who were sitting on the opposite side of your table, three seats away from Alyssa, who wouldn’t take her eyes off you, even when you stared her back; she resembled a human girl in everything, from her brown, wavy hair to her olive skin, the only exception being the aspect of her eyes, bigger, in the slight shape of almonds, with their outer corners turned up. Alyssa noticed her looks and, moving her lips without letting her voice out, she identified her one word.

Selkie.

You’ve never seen an individual from that people before, but you’ve heard stories about some who has been living among humans since the old times; the relations between the two species were never easy, so that you wouldn’t be surprised if that one tried to bring this old feud to the depths of the sea. You already decided to ask about her later, but soon this precaution became unnecessary, for when you stood up and prepared to leave, the sounds of the room were supplanted by a clear, real voice.

– Another human being among us in so little time? Interesting. It seems that our beloved husband is planning to bring change to the family. For reasons only known by himself.

Your eyes turned automatically to the selkie’s direction, and you saw she was already looking at you, now on her feet. You noticed her swollen belly under a tunic of an opaque fabric that resembled a seal skin. The table was silent as the other women stared at you, some unsettled by those words, others eager to hear your reply.

Alyssa grabbed her plate and was going to walk around the table to reach your side, but you saw the look in her eyes, a quiet plead for you to not listen to the provocations, but you were just tired of that and decided to ignore the advice.

– If you’re going to say that I don’t belong to this kingdom and I have no right to be here – you took your plate from the table – Save your words, because I myself agree with you.

The selkie frowned: whatever she wanted to hear from you, it wasn’t those words.

– What?

You sighed.

– Do you really think one would choose to live in a place where their people are not welcome? – you looked around – Would someone here do something like that?

The woman bit her lip, but kept her composure.

– Whether you chose to come here or not, it’s good that you’re aware of this. You must be a careful girl.

You shrugged.

– Most of the times.

Alyssa, who finally stopped by your side, intervened.

– We’re not seeking for trouble, Melian – she spoke to the selkie – There’s no need for this conversation to carry on.

The other displayed a smile full of sharp, small teeth at your friend, but there was no sign of sympathy on her gaze.

– Why not? We’re having so much fun with it!

You spoke to bring her attention back to you.

– So, is there something you want to ask, or am I allow to leave? – you glanced at Alyssa – I need to take her back to her room.

Melian raised an eyebrow, as if thinking of a new provocation. But, as it uses to happen with people who are used to such things, she didn’t need much time to find one.

– You’re so worried about your human friend, but what about yourself? – and, inclining her head to the side in fake worry, – Don’t you need special care too?

– What?

– Oh, you’re pregnant, aren’t you? – Melian pointed at your ears – I can see you’ve already been with him, but were you able to do your part, or are you just like her, who needed a second trial to do the only thing she’s supposed to be good at?

Alyssa lowered her eyes, but said anything. You gritted your teeth: you could stand people talking at your back and despising you, but doing this with a friend was a different story.

You decided to speak out the truth and see what was going to happen.

– No, I’m not carrying a child and, heaven forbid, I will never do it!

A wave of shocked whispers spread among the girls.

“Is she unable to conceive?”

“Poseidon-sama didn’t touch her? Why did he bring her here, then?”

“Maybe he did touch her, but she didn’t get pregnant!”

“What if she refused to give him children? Can you imagine that?”

“Nonsense! Saying no to a god, and your husband? She could never...”

“If this was the case, she would certainly be punished, but she’s here, safe and sound!”

– Don’t listen to them – Alyssa whispered – They have nothing to do with this.

Melian, whose surprise hasn’t been completely hidden, still had some words for you.

– Is this some sort of punishment he gave you, or are you cursed? Why do you speak of your condition in such a cheerful manner?

– Because, to me, it’s a reason to cheer at – the firmness of your words silenced the whispers and made her swallow – When I was taken to my wedding night, I pleaded to our husband, asking him not to give me children… and he listened to me. I am able to conceive, but I didn’t wish to, so I begged him and got my request answered.

The air was heavy with that revelation. How dare you – was the question in each of the faces turned to you.

– I don’t believe you – Melian spoke between her teeth – If you did something like this, you should be dead.

– Yet, here I am – you hit back – Alive and not pregnant. What are you going to do about it?

The selkie gasped. Alyssa held your arm, as if begging you to leave the hall.

It was when a calm contralto voice raised in the room, and everyone turned to its direction.

– Melian, won’t you stop pestering the girl just because she did the very thing you wanted to do, but had no courage to?

The voice belonged to a woman with blue skin and fins on each side of her head, who was sitting on the same side of the table as Melian and somehow looked older than the women around her. You noticed that she was the only one who hasn’t raised her head to see the argument, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t paying attention. You found it curious that, despite not having a prominent belly, her chair was positioned at a certain distance from the table.

The selkie turned to her, with a gaze that carried more nervousness than exasperation.

– Suriah, don’t start with your...

– Don’t you know our husband detests these kind of behavior? – the woman, Suriah, interrupted, unaffected – Besides, meal times are supposed to be pleasing, not a source of distress.

Melian’s skin turned pale with those words, less because of fear of the older wife than because of a non disguised anger.

The woman sighed and finally looked at you.

– You’re not just an inexperienced wife, as far as I can see, human – she started – You also know little about dealing with gods, don’t you?

You swallowed. You remembered that Poseidon himself said something similar to you.

– You could say that.

Suriah laughed.

– It’s pretty obvious, judging by the fact that you didn’t just plead to him… – she raised the spot on her face where there would be an eyebrow if she had hair – You tried to negotiate with him, didn’t you?

You gasped. How did she know?

– This type of thing might work among your people, but with gods, specially with someone like Poseidon-sama, things are quite different – she explained – He might have conceded you the favor you wanted, but what he asked from you in return… I suppose it made you shiver.

You didn’t reply.

– You don’t need to be so shy about it – she assured you – There are others like you around here, and they know what it’s like to be in such position. Our husband indeed loves us, but he doesn’t get along with rebel women. In this sense, Melian is in a better place than you.

Melian, who was still in silence, lowered her eyes at those words.

You, from your part, wanted to leave that place and forget about this unsettling conversation at first, but your curiosity, as well as the fact that you needed to gather information, overcame this urge, and you stood there.

– Suriah, right? – she nodded positively at your question – You seem to have experience in matters with gods. Can you tell me more?

Suriah seemed satisfied with your request.

– Of course I can, and I’m going to make things easier for you to understand by telling my own story. When I first came here, I knew the basics about my future husband and the life that awaited me, yet I think that if I knew more, I would never get into this situation – she sighed – Just like you, I wasn’t willing to carry children, so I begged for his favor, he gave it to me… But with a price.

You sensed a tension spreading among the women when the word price reached their ears. Suriah ignored this and carried on with the story.

– There’s a certain game, very popular among the gods, which I won’t bother to describe to you. I should learn the rules in one week and play one time with a subordinate of Proteus-sama, who’s a master at it. The result would determine if my request would be answered: if I won, I wouldn’t be impregnated that year; otherwise, I would have a child for each mistake during the game… every year.

You gasped.

– Every year? – your voice trembled – How is this possible?

Suriah chuckled, not refusing an explanation.

– The physiology of my people is such that allows us to endure multiple pregnancies. If I make love once, I will have one child. If it happens more times, consecutively, I will have the equivalent number of children. This is precisely what I bargained with Poseidon-sama: no child, or the number of my mistakes. And I lost.

You swallowed, but found the courage to ask what you had in mind.

– And how many mistakes you made?

The woman revealed the reason why her chair was distant from the table: she had a basket with lilac eggs on her lap. An unsettling wave of whispers spread among the girls when she raised the basket, and Melian slowly sat down. You couldn’t take your eyes off the basket’s interior, but found yourself unable to count the eggs: you only knew that they were many.

Answering the question you didn’t make, Suriah spoke:

– There are fifteen eggs here – she looked at them with affection – Fifteen beautiful children waiting to be born. Just as there were fifteen of them last year, and there will be in the next one.

Chapter 7

[notthatnoodle]

Tombstone Redemption

~Van Der Linde Gang meets the Cowboys~

”Gentlemen! May I simply ask you to listen to my, proposal.”

”Hear that, boys? We’re going to have some fun tonight, shall we!”

~~~~~~~~~~

And my dumb talk about cowboys, mental health, and me being so unsure of my drawing skills. Buckle up cowboy, it's going to be a long one.

~~~~~~~~~~

Do you know that feeling, when you have an idea. And that idea is something that scares you? Because I do, too clearly if one may say.

I wanted to do something. Draw something that I would be proud of. But how to do that when you just hate everything you do, when it feel overwhelming to do.

Well, just trying to do it. Just trying to enjoy the journey and the things I'm doing while on it.

It was scary to start, but I still had a plan for it, you know.

Something big, scary.

"This is never going to look good. It's going to be terrible."

"It's going to take so long, it's going to look stupid."

"I already hate it."

That's what I thought at the time, while doing the sketch.

And you know what...

I did. But after days of just doing the lines again and again, it finally got better. After DAYS. For me it might take weeks before I can continue working on something which looks bad in my eyes.

I hated to do the line art first, I hated to do it, so much that I almost gave up because it already, alone, felt overwhelming. I didn't like it one bit. The characters didn't look like themselves, and I wasn't happy. No one has any idea how long it took to do it.

BUT i finally did it. I got flat colors done. And from there, I could finally move to the next part. And I was so happy how it turned out, it gave me hope, feeling of success.

"I can do it."

"I can do the next part too."

I was in halfway now, the RDR2 side was ready, except the lighting and the shadows of course but anyway. To get myself to do the rest, I asked myself...

Why I do this again?

And the answer to that was surprisingly simple.

I do this because even it feels so overwhelming at times, I love to do it. I love to see what I'm capable of. I love to draw, sketch, do things like that.

Because it helps my mental health.

Because I need to get my inspiration out to a paper.

Because I love westerns

Because RDR2 became my comfort game.

Because Tombstone became my comfort movie.

Because I have no money to travel to the other side of the world to a meetings or something. I have to create my own "meetings", in a way of an art.

Because both, RDR and Tombstone, have helped me in the past year, in the ways I never imagined would be possible.

Who would've known long time ago that I wouldn't need any meds in couple of years because some sad, rough, cold, unstable cowboy men, huh?

I've heard so many times that people have called comfort characters "cringe" or "weird."

And that "you should get real help."

Well, I did. I had that real help, but beside the medication that helped, I just couldn't find anything to talk about with the professionals.

I never personally have liked talking (but it's still good, try it) and I've always used art and writing to get all my feelings out. Tbh, it haven't helped the situation that I'm terrible at recognizing my own feelings.

And, well.

If anyone would've said back in 2020 that "In couple years your mental health is going to get better because of Arthur Morgan and Johnny Ringo" I would've been so confused.

"Who??? Where??? When???"

The two most mentally stable men in the universe, right?

But you see, here we are. Still trying to decide do I hate my art or not. But even still, it's finally on place where I dreamed it would be when I was 14 years old and could only draw poor dogs and cats.

I may not feel like it, but I try to remind myself many times in a day. That this is what I wanted, this is what I worked for.

The progress has been slow, but it's still showing up. But I want to get better, I want to draw even more better, to get more realistic or something. I'm not even sure myself. Can you believe it? 10 years of drawing and I'm still not sure what I want my style really to be, other than somewhat realistic.

The progress is slow, but it's here. The mental health and drawing skills are both growing even I may not admit it to myself. And I still want to get better.

There is going to be bad times, there is always going to be bad times, those are never going to disappear. But what also is not going to disappear, is my passion to my art. To the characters, to the world they live in.

It's surely going to stay a big part of me, even it may fade in some point. But it is still there, a part which shows what helped me get back up.

As a reminder to myself how I got better. And that healing journey isn't in the end. Is only just begun.

It's a journey I'm afraid of, excited, curious, terrified...

But it's going to be amazing, hard, I'm going to hate and love every second of it.

And that's good. It means I've finally managed to dig up my closed emotions.

I may be able to know what I feel for the first time in years. I might be able to feel something that has been hidden away since forever.

And all that just because of some Cowboy Depression Simulator and the movie with the Cowboys and tuberculosis.

Seriously, they both end almost same way and managed to broke my fucking heart while doing it. And still they are probably the best things that have ever happened to me.

What I learned, what I thought while doing this art and thinking it's meaning... Only person you can let down in this planet is yourself, and only person who really knows everything you've done to get back up, is yourself. So, give a hug to you, give a tap to you, give a hamburger to you or something.

The good begins before the bad things end.

So go kick this day to the balls or something, somewhere where the sun doesn't shine, get it all back to yourself.

Carpe diem and have some FAITH to yourself...

Because you really don't know how good the light of tomorrow morning could feel.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I believe in y'all.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Setri.

[hermitw]

I want to make a list of my JJK theories and opinions so we got (part 1 bc I know I'll have / remember more later).

-let gege cook, everyone will be fine, chill tf out (I have rambled about this in other posts so I'll just leave it at that here)

-Toji and Geto's worm is like banana fish (the drug from banana fish that makes someone delusional, easily suggestible, and violent until they self destruct. Geto lasted a lot longer than Toji under its influence bc he had his rituals of meditations, affirmations, and strong ethics. His cursed energy would have also fed the worm, though it had been trained to feed off of the soul when it was with toji). It eats away at their souls/BRAIN so Kenjaku can get into a new skull will little resistance. Remember when Geto was unconscious and Toji said the thing about monkeys? Then Geto kept repeating that kind of thing (but he never rly acted like he believed that. He was just trying to keep his daughters and innocent youth safe from becoming skapegoats like Rika was. He saw that the cult and the village would repeat their cycles and more would be hurt in the future. He couldn't redeem those adults so he killed them.) I go into this theory a good bit in my longest/first jjk fanfic, and I AM DYING for gege to confirm this. I also ofc think that Kenjaku set up the worm and Toji to find each other. Maybe by throwing it into the zenin curse pit.

-kenjaku hit Rika with his car, or at least manipulated someone else into doing it (which seems to be the theme here, the way he made geto and yuta fight, for example. It's suspicious that Yuta and Yuuji were both from Sendai. I'm sure that he was keeping an eye on them both. We see nanako and mimiko at yuuji's school in that one manga panel in the beginning.

-the prison realm can be used for time travel (since Gojo first got sealed I was expecting him to break out. And then I was expecting him to be so understimulated in there that he'd figure out how to warp time. Dude can already warp space, what's the difference?) and Hakari even suggested using the prison realm for time travel so EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE they just have to go as far as they can without using it first so they can learn what to do the next time, yeah? I also had a dream about this and Gojo told me that Sukuna didn't feel the time loop, but the rest of us knew it was our second time (at least) going back and trying to defeat him. Which doesn't mean that I'm right but it was nice ok 😭

Theories that have been proven right or wrong by now

-I've been saying from the beginning that Yuuji and Sukuna share a common ancestor and that's why he can be a vessel. I was right!! But I didn't know he was also born with a fingie

-sukuna has six eyes (this has since been disproven but I used to think so)

-the way that RCT works between two people

CHAPTER 261 SPOILERS ON THIS NEXT ONE but I hope ur caught up by now.

-yuta should use as many techniques as possible in Gojo's body bc when Gojo returns to it, then he will be able to learn them as well. Kenjaku was able to retain techniques from his previous bodies, so even if all he transfers is the copy technique, that's fkn useful too.

-there is no chemistry between Yuki and Choso. That concept feels fucking forced and gives me the ick so hard.

-yuki is a terrible influence. She has good intentions, but she isn't present enough to be helpful - showing up in shibuya after Mahito was absorbed, for example. Not keeping in touch with the sorcerers who were involved in that. Not to mention the shit with Geto. She started the whole "what kind of woman is your type" thing and it's her fault that todo beats people nearly to death for giving an answer that doesn't match his own stupid taste (it took several watches for me to forgive todo for beating up megumi tbh)

-todo is also Kenjaku's son, and possibly Yuki - tho yuki is more vibes than evidence. All of Kenjaku's confirmed kids have a strong resolve, and false memories with Yuuji. But I think that kenjaku, in a male body, would be a total slut. His motivation for anything is that maybe it'll be interesting, or funny, he's just here for a good time. I think that he wouldn't even know how many kids he has, and that by having an unknown number possibly out there, it would bring up unexpected sorcerers. The frame where kenjaku asks why don't you heal yourself and yuki says I don't want to... That feels confirmed for me but I know it isn't solid evidence.

-I think kenjaku set up yuki to meet todo bc that feels too sus as well but I forget my logic on that one lmaoooo everything is their fault tho

[sysmedsaresexist]

i've sent messages a couple times asking about symptoms and such, and i had a therapy appointment today and we talked about my parts. i'm in trauma therapy (medical rehabilitation) and my therapist is trauma specialized, but i was scared my dissociative symptoms would be too much and too weird for her since they only started again a year after we had been working together. i told her about that fear which is when she told me that she specializes in DID, alongside a few other things (she has a long career behind her). it kind of shocked me when she said my system sounds a lot like DID. i always thought like... my trauma "isn't that bad, the worst i can have is some mild form of OSDD". it's... validating? but i also feel a bit shocked? and unsure. she doesn't diagnose and i'm not seeking a diagnosis but for her to even say that makes me feel a lot of emotions. i'm not really sure how to process it tbh

Hi anon ;__; if you mean you sent messages to this blog, I'm so sorry that they weren't answered very quickly, genuinely

I'm so happy to hear that, though! Finding a therapist is HARD, I'm glad you found a good one right off the bat, that's SO exciting

And that fear and shock is normal

Getting validation medically, diagnosis or just recognition, is a huge step for most systems (not a necessary one, but a MASSIVE step regardless), so first, I'm proud of you for being brave enough to talk to her about it, it took us a long time to get over that fear

It's also okay to feel mixed about it. It's scary, exciting, relieving and stressful all at the same time. Just take it one day at a time, there's no rush, slow and steady is the best way ❤️

Trauma is trauma is trauma, it's personal to each of us and can come from anything. Try your best not to compare your experiences to anyone else's, and just work on understanding how your own experiences shaped you and your system.

I hope you'll come back and share what therapy is like for you. I'm sure a lot of systems would appreciate the peek into what it's like.

Good luck, anon, come back soon!

[letters-to-rosie]

for the fic writers ask (a bit late): 2, 3, 8, 9 and 41 please

it's not too late I like to talk lol

and I talked a lot so buckle in

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

my top 3 are "alternate universe - modern setting" (8/10), "alternate universe - college/university" (5/10), and "not beta read" (5/10, which is funny because 10/10 are not beta read lol)

and yeah, I can't say they don't represent me. when I was on ff.net I used a beta (my mom lmao) but now my grasp of English grammar is much better. I still miss stuff all the time (I found a word use error rereading something I'd published like a year and a half prior and wanted to scream lol), but it is what it is. even though I have professional editing credentials, it's really hard to edit your own stuff because your brain still fills in what it expects to see

re: modern setting and college setting, I started off my account publishing a couple college AU Fullmetal Alchemist one-shots; the only other college fic I had was my second prompt fill for the Arcane timebomb secret santa, where the prompt was to write in a modern setting. so that's all the college fics and 5/8 of the modern setting. another modern one is high school, since when I finished Arcane I felt a deep need to write Ekko in a high school setting because rarely had I felt so compelled by a single character. and the last two are the revolution universe, which is a funny story

idk how much I've mentioned this before, but the reason revolution is a modern setting is because I wanted to see if I could make an Ekko/Jinx roleswap work without the help of any of the story's magical elements. to restrict myself, I changed the setting. from there, developing modern Piltover/Zaun was just really fun. I took a lot of cues from the aforementioned high school setting fic I wrote and turned them up to 11. it has been and still is a fun ride, so I'm not mad about that choice at all

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

hmmmmmmm lol well line breaks! I like to make detailed little line breaks. some show up better on one platform than another (for example, the revolution telephone line breaks look WAY better on desktop imo), but I think they are cute

in terms of more trope-related things, I actually had a hard time for a moment. I went and looked at some fics of mine to try and find an answer

humor is one, for sure. big believer in laughing even on the worst day of your life. I think that's how I survived mine, and I think the characters I write about would be the same, finding something absurd or funny even when things are really bad

another one, I think, is attention to the mundane. I'm not a super detailed writer; purple prose isn't really my personal style. but I like writing about boring things. little things, you know?

the last one I'll bring up is setup and payoff. that's one of my personal favorite writing devices. I really enjoy putting the pieces in place and watching it all come together is always really satisfying. especially when combined with a focus on the mundane. like I have one story where Ekko's wearing a tie, and it matters.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

hmmmmm well I don't know if there are any I'd want to see just adapted straight into a fic, or nothing comes to mind directly. or maybe it's that the songs I am thinking of are more vibes than plot? well anyway, Willow's Symptom of Life is one I really like lately, as well as Sampha and Little Simz's Satellite Business 2.0, Kenny Mason's Firestarter (or Metal Wings tbh, or like the entirety of Angelic Hoodrat), and Isaiah Rashad's Headshots (4 Da Locals)

9. How do you find new fic to read?

scroll on a tag, or someone I know writes something and I go read it, and sometimes recs

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

honestly, I just want to write like myself, but the goal is to shoutout other people so I picked one from each other the fandoms I've read the most of on ao3

for Fullmetal, Swallows on the Beam is a long-time fave; the detail of the worldbuilding is really great, and I love the amount of thought put into a setting that isn't even seen in the canon material. the prose is just really lovely too. the author has done such an incredible job, and I need to go through and actually comment on all the chapters someday, but I have so much to say that I know it'll take me forever lol. but like how can a scene of a character touching another character's earring make me lose my shit? that is the magic of this fic lol. one of the most romantic things I have ever read

for Hunter x Hunter, I really love a thousand miles wandering; the Silk Road setting is just so unique! the prose is great, character work is great, setting is worked into the story in a great way. all feels like generic praise, but the whole thing is just so well-rounded in its excellence

for Arcane, my favorite has always been The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; just has such an infectious energy. it's fun, funny, and it takes this fantasy setting and makes it feel very real, which in turn helps the characters feel even more real than they do in the show, in some ways

[flowerpot-broppy]

SO! i feel bad about updating after so long! my life has been going…. uh... not so well to say the least. BUT! if you are wondering! overall, It's been ok, and i want to move on to trolls! First things first, Honey! shes doing ok development wise, but I wanted to give you guys a little something, something to cling too, a cool little bit while you are being so patient with me. so! introducing Feral Honeydew! I took some inspiration from a lot of different fics, but mostly from To Be Left Behind on AO3. ive been reading it since the beginning (chap. 11 through all of it tbh) and I love the way the feral behavior is portrayed, especially through the perspective of other trolls like Clay, JD and Spruce/Bruce. Anyway, with Honey in my au, she has not seen another troll (pop or otherwise) in 20 years! shes stuck to the forest and survived on her own, A tough cookie and maybe a little crazy and distrusting lol

Next up we have Mount Rageous!Honey X John Dory! So she finds him within the first few years (2-5) of him leaving the troll tree and they live happily ever after with 3+ kids cause I said so!! except not really cause JD goes back to the Troll Tree after 2 or 3 years and just assumes his whole family is dead, Yikes!!! He thinks all of his Bros and Grandma are gone and when he finds out branch is alive durring the rockpocalypse he totally flips! (its a whole thing, ill make a post about it later. Maybe.) Thats what therapy is for folks! and JD gets a lot of it in all my AUs before hes ready to have a family orrr even introduce Honey to any of the bros if they haven’t met already! Its only cause Floyd is in a life or death situation that JD even goes to his rescue, but he also has encouragement from his adopted daughter cotton!! ill be posting about her a lot soon too!!!! So! I have officially moved into my new house, BUT i am going to have to move into either another one close by, OR move across the country in a few weeks AGAIN… either way, I'm so sorry for being so busy and inactive!!! let me know if you guys have any questions or anything as id be happy to answer!

[thirstnotes]

|Rivals To Lovers - Clark Kent - Part Six - Sassy Clark|

Pairings: Clark Kent x AFABBlackPlusSizedReader

Warnings: possessive Clark, Clark Kent in love, language, more smut eventually, minors DNI, Stalker Clark, two cuties flirtin, morally gray Clark, dark Bruce, typos, weak writing tbh but it is what it is

Okay, ya'll, we're almost there. I know I'm taking longer than Dragonball Z to reach this damn conclusion, and I'm sorry for the wait lol. But I'm very grateful to ya'll for liking it so much. It makes me so happy to know my writing brings ya'll some form of joy. Thanks to @ysmmsy for the reblogs and recs, @ramp-it-up for answering the ask that led to this series, and to my community of color who really deserve more representation in stories. Bc we deserve to be loved on by our favorite characters too. Anyway, enjoy.

As always, if you don't enjoy it, don't read it.

"Was that really necessary?" Bruce asked, sipping a bit of Cognac.

Clark landed quietly, his eyes lingering on the glass in his hand. Bruce didn't even turn his head to address him, more focused on the skyline of the city.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Clark said finally, his arms folded. Bruce tilted his head a bit, smirk in place.

"So she is special to you. Well. Things certainly took a refreshing turn. I thought you'd be obsessed with Red forever."

"What's it matter to you?"

"Overall, it doesn't. But clearly it does to you, or else you wouldn't be abusing your powers like this. Which does present its advantages."

"That was hardly abuse," Clark breathed with a dangerous laugh. His eyes flashed a small, red beam and Bruce's glass shattered in his hand. "See, now that. That's abusing my powers."

Bruce was undeterred, instead giving his hand a small shake before sliding it into his pocket. He turned to face him, a mildly annoyed look on his face.

"You're clearly here to say something. I suggest you say it before I lose my patience."

"You should already know this, but in case your I.Q. suddenly dove a couple hundred points: Y/N is not your plaything."

"As evident by your tantrum, she seems to be your toy. Of course."

"She's not anyone's toy," he seethed, his eyes icy and dark. Threatening to flash again at any moment's notice. Bruce countered with a steely stare of his own.

"Oh yes, she's your 'fake girlfriend', right? I hardly see how that's different. She seems to likes me and, to tell you the truth, I happen to find her very attractive. Which, after tonight, is entirely apparent to her. So. If anyone's playing games, it's definitely you."

Clark's eyes narrowed dangerously at him, but he couldn't refute his claims. After all, it was his idea in the first place to use you to get to someone else. Granted it was consensual, it was still pretty calloused to you. Especially since your only consolation was showing up an asshole that dumped you. He hadn't appreciated you nearly as much as you deserved to be, but it still didn't sit right with him that Bruce was the one to point it out.

Bruce's arms folded and he stepped even closer, despite the severely pissed Kryptonian just at an arm's reach.

"Here's how this'll go. I'm going to continue seeing Y/N as long as she'll allow. Or at least until you plan to take me up on my offer."

Of course.

His eyes rolled to the skyline. "I might've thought you'd circle back around to that."

Bruce smirked at his hesitation. "It's merely a small favor."

"I'm not some cold blooded killer."

"Right. Of course. You draw the line at criminal arson.”

Clark dipped his head with a bitter laugh and left him standing there, opting to walk away. Bruce watched him, his smirk still fixed in place.

Clark hated himself for thinking about taking him up on his offer

Jokes aside, nowadays, Bruce was practically mafia with the measures he took to "exact justice", but Clark was doing his best to keep from working closely with him.

Besides

You were no bargaining chip

But there was something tantalizing about Bruce’s offer to leave you alone indefinitely

I mean

All he needed to do was off a couple of assholes and he could have you all to himself

It sounded pretty fuckin sweet

The men Bruce wanted dead were bad guys

...Was he seriously considering killing for you?

He landed across from your building again, watching you sleep peacefully on your couch. Probably passed out after a shower. He smiled a bit, pulling his phone from his pocket to type.

We need to talk

He took a deep breath and scrolled through his contacts, his eyes resting on Bruce's number.

His notifications popped down.

About?

His eyes flickered to your apartment and he saw you typing on your phone.

You already thinking about dumping me just before class? That's just cold

His lips twitched into another smile.

It's late. Why are you still up?

Why are you?

I'm barely awake

So you decided to text me?

Yes

He saw your body shake with a small laugh and he rolled his eyes with a smirk.

This talk must be important if you woke up from a dead sleep to text me. Don't tell me. You couldn’t stand to lie to me anymore and you need to tell me that you really are Superman

He laughed, eyes rolling to the side before he replied.

Yes

You let out a small laugh.

Are you drunk texting me again?

He slipped his phone into his pocket, sitting on the edge, watching you drift to sleep waiting for him to reply. You probably thought he'd drifted back to sleep. Possibly drunk. Thinking he was Superman.

You're gonna find out just how accurate you were

The next morning, you decided to surprise him for once

Heading to his apartment with a box of donuts and a black coffee

Something he'd probably be grateful for after the sun hit his hungover eyes

After a rather exciting date with Bruce Wayne, a fire scare, and yet another drunk text from Clark, it'd seem like you needed a strong drink and all the sleep you could manage

But instead, you were, pulling up to the curb in front of his building

Completely surprised to see him waiting there for you

He climbed in, setting his messenger bag on the floor and buckling in before finally addressing your curious stare with his usual irritating smirk.

"What? Good morning?"

"What, are you psychic now, Superman?"

He furrowed his brows at you.

"What?"

You rolled your eyes with a laugh. "You drunk texted me again last night."

"Did I?" he asked, eyes focused on the view passing his window. You gave him a sour look.

"Yeah. At like one in the morning. I thought you were gonna be hungover out of your mind. So I decided to bring coffee and donuts and give you a lift to work, because I felt sorry for you. But I guess I'll just keep them."

"You don't even drink black coffee."

"I can doctor on it."

"No takebacks," he sneered, taking the cup from the holder, taking a petty sip from it. You laughed and rolled your eyes again.

"Petty."

He grinned at you over the brim of his cup. Then it was quiet.

The ride had stayed quiet for a while, with Clark looking out the window most of the way.

You both heard your phone vibrate a few times, but because of your strict no texting while driving policy, you didn't touch it

But you had to wonder

Was it Bruce?

He had texted that he wanted to see you again, minutes before Clark had texted you last night

Which made you feel a little like a cheating trollop

Even if you weren't Clark's actual girlfriend

But still, it felt greedy to have your cake and get eaten too

Another buzz from your purse made you hazard a glance his way, but he seemed kind of preoccupied

What was he thinking?

It made you a little antsy to see him so deep in thought

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet. What's up?"

"Actually, I think you're the talker in this relationship?" he sassed back, raising a brow at you. You laughed.

"Okay. Rude, but fair enough. Anyway. What's on your mind? You okay?"

"Just fine."

His short answer bothered you a bit and you chewed your bottom lip through another quiet pause. His eyes flickered to you and he took a small breath.

"I'm curious. How'd your date with Bruce go?"

It was your turn to get quiet, your eyes drifting his way before landing back on the road. The cheating girlfriend vibe intensified, but you were too proud to ask him if he was jealous just yet.

“It went like any other dinner date, really.”

He resisted the urge to give you a look. Somehow, he didn’t believe you ended all your dates in a hotel room. It was even less likely that you had to cancel every booty call because of a fire scare.

“I see.”

You gave him a look. “What? Did you think he was really gonna whisk me off to Prague?”

“I didn’t know what to think, to be honest. It’s Bruce,” he volleyed, eyes rolling to you. You eyed him, smile fighting it’s way to your face. Just then, your mind obviously jumped to what really happened that night, but you rolled your eyes and laughed it off.

“He was a perfect gentleman.”

“Wonders never cease,” he drawled sarcastically, focusing his attention back to the view outside his window.

"I-Listen," you laughed, rolling your eyes again.

"Mmhm," he hummed, relishing the way his sarcasm made you squirm.

"He was excellent. That's all you need to know," you said simply. His eyes flickered to you when you weren't looking, his smile fading. You looked so content. Not sprung, like one is after a night of bliss with somebody they think is "the one", but definitely like it wasn't the last you'd be seeing of him.

The office was bustling more than usual

Everybody greeting you with smirks and grins

Because of the state of your desk, which was surrounded by flowers

"Wow," you breathed, moving a basket aside to actually see the wood of your desk. Luke slipped to your side with a whistle.

“Guess you left quite an impression on Wayne.”

Thankfully both you and the dumb photographer missed the chilling leer that Clark gave him.

You rolled your eyes. “He’s just a nice guy.”

Luke looked from you to Clark with a good natured laugh. “I’m jealous of your ability to always stay calm, Kent. How are you not freaking out about this?”

“I happen to trust my girlfriend,” Clark said as though it were common sense. Which it was.

“You’re a better man than I am,” Luke shrugged with a laugh.

“That’s why she picked me,” Clark sniped, returning his good natured laugh with a poisonous one of his own. Luke’s smile faded a bit when he processed his words. You rolled your lips to keep from cackling and gave your attention to Lois, who approached you all.

She stepped around the two of them to hand you an engraved envelope with a sympathetic smirk. “I tried to text you before you got here. But I guess you were gonna find out one way or another.”

“Yeah, thanks for trying though,” you breathed with a sarcastic laugh, your eyes flickering to Clark briefly before setting them aside. Her smirk died a bit and she looked between you as well, as if just remembering your relationship.

"Of course, it's probably a normal good will gesture."

"Just rich dudes being rich dudes," you joked along, your eyes lowering to the envelope in your hand. As did his.

Free this weekend? No distractions this time. I promise.

Along with two plane tickets. To Prague. Fuckin Bruce.

However, you bit the corner of your lip and decided not to open it there. It made him a little curious, but he was pretty grateful you didn't. His eyes rolled from the card to the work on his desk while Lois looked between the two of you again and cleared her throat.

"Well. Anyway, I'll see you in class."

"Yeah, definitely," you said, setting it aside, waiting for Lois to go back to whatever she was doing before cutting your eyes at Clark. He could almost sense your anxiety and threw a smirk your way to ease your mind.

"Quite the impression," he snickered and you stuck your tongue out at him.

"Shut up."

-

The ride to class was even quieter than the ride to work. You found it hard to focus with the smell of several baskets of flowers in your backseat. You glanced over at Clark, who was scrolling through his phone. 

"What?" he asked, eyes still on his screen.

"Why don't you like Bruce anyway?"

He paused and looked up at the road. "I told you. He's obnoxious."

"That's all," you said, though it sounded more like an inquiry and he looked at you.

"What do you expect to hear?"

The light turned green and you pretended to be completely focused on the road. 

"Nothing. I dunno. Just. You seem kinda jealous."

He tilted his head with a smirk. "Of you and Bruce? Maybe."

You didn't know how to unpack that. Was he saying he was jealous of the potential "relationship" you and Bruce had, or that he was jealous of Bruce potentially having you? It made you dizzy.

"Well I mean, there is no me and Bruce. It was just a date. So we're in the same boat, buddy," you joked and he breathed a laugh. 

"Anyway, what exactly happens in this class?"

It was a blunt transition you were thankful for. You shrugged. "It's no big deal. The class'll be a breeze, I think the biggest challenge is navigating the gossip when I show up with a new man while my 'ex' is still in the same class. Just. Follow my lead, honestly."

"Fair enough."

He didn't say anything more, his eyes rolling back to the opposite side of the dash. You frowned a bit, but you let him get back to his own thoughts. Eventually you pulled into the park and unbuckled your seatbelt.

"Y/N," he said suddenly and it made you jump.

"Yeah?"

His warm lips captured yours with a soft, firm kiss, tongue darting between your lips to invite yours out to play. You indulged him, tangling your tongue with his, shifting a bit to have better access. Your body melted when he held your waist to keep you steady, the yummy weight of his hand keeping you from climbing onto him in the passenger's seat. You moaned a bit when he sucked on your tongue as he pulled back. It was a shorter kiss than you'd realized. Much too short.

"What was that?" you breathed, head in a fog.

"Chemistry," he said, his thumb running over the corner of your bottom lip gently, brushing away any traces of him. "I can't go a whole three hours without kissing my girlfriend."

"Right," you agreed airily, getting out the car, "Chemistry."

(Part 7)

(Part 5)

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 3 of 21 Questions

(better interface on wattpad)

Matt had just been chilling in his room when he heard his phone. His brothers – triplets actually – and he were spending the evening alone on their own as they had spent the whole day together filming for their YouTube channel. It had only been two years and a half since they started making content but they were already quite popular on social media. As Matt thought it was either Chris or Nick asking him to drive them somewhere – Matt was the only one among them with a driver’s licence, he took his phone, mentally preparing himself to get dressed and leave the comfort of his bed.

With an obvious surprise on his face, Matt unlocked his phone and saw that it was actually an unknown number that had texted him.

**********

Heyy stranger, wanna play 21 questions? :)

Matt was confused because he wasn’t used to receiving actual texts from random people, except for an occasional wrong number which he would never respond to. As he thought about how he didn’t have anything to do at the moment, why not play.

And so, as Matt replied to the stranger, he learnt that the girl on the other side of a screen was almost the female version of his brother Nick: she loved autumn and had a nose ring – ok it’s not much but this was enough to compare the two. The conversation was nicely flowing between the two teenagers until Matt ended up being called by his youngest brother as Chris was in need of McDonald’s at ten o’clock. Therefore, he had to quickly find a way to leave the girl he was talking to on his phone and took the opportunity of discovering that she was a cat person to funnily exit the discussion, hoping not to appear rude to her – well he was a bit, mystery girl and her best friend had judged him a lot.

~~~

During the next couple of days, Matt actually forgot about the girl who had texted him on a random evening. To be fair, his brothers and he had been busy filming – they had come back from tour last month and settled back into their usual routine. This was the reason why Matt hadn’t responded to the girl. Of course, he wasn’t feeling guilty as they weren’t even friends – yet – but when he saw on the Messages application that he had unread texts from her, Matt remembered that he actually had a good time talking to the mysterious girl; and the fact that his day was sort of over – over in the sense that Chris already ate and thus wouldn't be interrupting Matt again – pushed the middle triplet to get back to know the cat person who he had suddenly abandoned. Now opening their conversation, Matt finally read the last messages from a few days ago.

**********

I’m not apologising tbh

Bc i love my cat with my whole heart

He’s the best

I hope you were joking bc our convo was fun

Anyways, bye then-

Hi stranger, our convo from yesterday was really nice so I hope you might still wanna play even tho  I'm a cat person and you're a dog person but yk what they say: opposites attract :)

Matt had not expected her to re-engage the conversation the day following their first one but he hoped that it was not too late to come back to her.

*********

Good evening stranger, ig I’m a bit late to the party

Been a few busy days lately but if you’re still down it could be fun to continue our game

(dw ab the cat thing, it was maybe too much from me)

While Matt was waiting for the girl to reply – how long it would take, he had no idea as she could be living on the other side of the world and currently sleeping, he tried to make an effort of thinking about a couple of questions he could ask. Matt wanted to keep things engaging, even though they were just getting to know each other. In any case, it was either Saturday or Sunday for his chatmate so he would probably get an answer before the week-end was over.

Matt actually only had time to brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas after a short shower when he heard his phone. Curiosity took over him as he quickly grabbed his phone and a light smile appeared on his face when he saw the positive reply from the girl.

*********

Good evening stranger, ig I’m a bit late to the party

Been a few busy days lately but if you’re still down it could be fun to continue our game

(dw ab the cat thing, it was maybe too much from me)

Hiii!

No worries, we each have our life so you had some right to be occupied w smth else

(i think i can forgive you for that, we’ll see later)

Matt felt relieved in the sense that talking so light-heartedly to someone completely unknown was calming in a way. From the little conversation they had had a few days ago, he already knew that this would be a safe place where he wouldn’t be judged – apart from liking dogs more than cats. He decided to immediately write back for he wanted to get to know the girl better.

**********

Glad we’re ok now

By rereading our last messages, I see that it should be your turn to ask a question so I’ll wait for it

Ok ok lemme think quickly

We’re gonna start back w smth simple i hope

What’s your go-to comfort food?

My stomach needs to take over for this question

I feel like it’s an easy one but I have multiple choices rn

It’s ok, give me a top 3 ig

So I’d say tacos, nuggets and pasta

(in no particular order)

I want YOUR top 3 now

Yepp ofc

Mine would be pizza, sushi and fries maybe

No particular order as well

Yours are absolutely valid

I fuck with pizza and fries but not sushi sorryy

If I were fucking petty I would leave the convo like you did

But I’m not, soo :))

That’s low

I deserve it tho

Self-aware king!

We need to find common ground tho

Like a question we FULLY agree on

So much pressure on me rn

This is a serious question (like every other one honestly) so you can only choose the right answer

Damn pressure on ME now

It’s technically a double question if you answer negatively to the 1st one

Do you play pokemon? Or have you played as a child?

OMG

HAND IN MARRIAGE NOW

WHAT

WHY

(DO I NEED TO SCREAM TOO?)

BRO

I LOVE POKEMON

(AND YEAH WE SCREAMING RN)

REALLY???

YEAH OFC

MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD

Even nowadays i still play sometimes

Wow

I wasn’t expecting that

I mean I was hoping

But it’s really nice to know that you do

Which ones do you like?

My faves are probably X and sapphire alpha

Honestly just the ones on DS bc they slay

Like

I don’t have the nintendo switch so I stopped buying the latest games

But i like to come back to them sometimes

And i also played a couple on game boy color as well

Ok ok good to know

I’m more of a pokemon go guy tbh

Like when I’m driving I have this thing that catches pokemon for me

That is so cool!!

I’ve never really been keen on pokemon go

But the whole universe in general has always looked amazing to me

Yeah I totally agree

See

This is common ground

Yayy you’re right :))

I thought of a next question but you don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable

Go ahead dw I’ll tell you if I am :)

What’s your name?

I can even tell you mine first if you prefer

I just don’t wanna keep calling you the random guy I texted

And maybe putting a contact name would be nice😅

Matt unconsciously started typing his name when he paused to think about it: this was a stranger – a nice one though, there was no way she would find out who he was just from the information he had given her. How many Matts out there in the world have brothers, love pokemon and dogs? Quite a lot he hoped. This is fine, what are the odds? – turns out that the odds were actually pretty fucking huge from the beginning but let’s not spoil it and just keep the foreshadowing light.

**********

My name’s Matt

I don’t mind giving it out, it’s fine

Not like you asked for my fucking address lol

Bro I would never- this would be so messed up

I’m Lily btw

Nice to meet you Matt

Nice to meet you too Lily

As Matt and Lily were both finally able to change the contact name of the other, their faces were illuminated with genuine smiles due to the bond they were creating. And although it was simply the beginning of a blooming friendship, the door to a new chapter of their lives was about to open.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[nerdnag]

Hi Sara! You are wise and cool and I'd appreciate advice if you have any! I am trying to make friends especially with fellow autistic people in real life but it is very very hard and scary also I don't know how to find people who want friends. Do you have any advice? (Please only answer if you want to!)

Thank you Ghostly!! 🙏 You are so valid - it *is* hard and scary to make irl friends!! (... Online friends too, tbh)

I don't know if I have any helpful advice, but I'll try!

I think what's worked best for me is to meet people in contexts that are related to specific, niche interests. I'm not entirely sure I have any IRL friends anymore who are only autistic, I do have a bunch who are both autistic and have ADHD though. And all of them, I've met through various kinds of special interests.

For example, several people in my TTRPG group are neurodiverse. How did I meet them? I happened to sit next to a guy I'd never spoken to before while at a work lunch, and we got to talking fantasy books (... I don't really remember how), which got us into RPG talk, which eventually led to him asking me by the end of the lunch whether I'd like to join the TTRPG group that he and some of his friends were starting up soon. That was 3,5 years ago, and we're still playing together to this day!

Another, I met through Magic: The Gathering - we were going to the same weekend event (not related to MtG) and I saw him post in a thread about looking for people to play some games with, so I replied to him, and we pretty much clicked right away because it turned out we had lots of other similar interests as well.

A third, I got to know through playing social deception games at yet another event, in which we sort of fell into a banter-y jargon while trying to convince everyone else to vote out the other. (We were both the wild cards in every game, because I had a habit of grinning wildly and looking generally untrustworthy regardless of which role I was given, and he had an absolutely straight face regardless and was really hard to read, so we pretty quickly identified each other as friendly rivals.) Then I figured out he lived in the same city as I did, and my train was cancelled, so I used my Charisma™ to hitch a ride with him and his dad back home :D

... So based on my own experiences, it seems I've mostly met other neurodiverse people through various kinds of games, which is one of my great passions in life! Depending on what your interests are, maybe there are events, groups or such that you could be on the lookout for? Sort of like it usually happens on Tumblr I guess, but IRL it's a bit harder since you have to do more work and research to find those places and communities.

The thing is though, it will always be scary. The first time I went to play with the TTRPG group, I was super scared. I barely said anything during the first hour or so, and even after several sessions, it still took some time each time to get back into it and relax. But I always have a lot of fun while playing, and I know they appreciate having me there, so that makes it easier to relax and not worry so much. It was the same thing with the MtG friend - I rewrote that first message sooo many times, and then had a racing heart by the time I went to meet up with him. The trick for me has been to recognise when it's worth pushing through that discomfort, and try to be accepting of the fact that sometimes it won't work out, but sometimes it will; sometimes it will lead to amazing friendships, but sometimes it will fizzle out or face plant before it could even start. And that's fine.

It gets easier with time in my experience, but it never gets easy. I've sort of had to accept that I usually don't make a great first impression. It's not that I make a bad impression, I just don't think I make much of an impression at all - I probably seem more shy than I really am, and sometimes my fears make me behave really awkwardly. But after a couple times, as I start to relax and get more comfortable being myself, I think I can make a really really good impression! And I stress a little less about first impressions when I remind myself of that.

Oh, and one more thing: I've personally found that it's a lot easier to meet new people if they are there by themselves. People who already hang out in groups are much harder to approach. Because of this reason, actually, I tend to avoid going to places together with my friends if my aim is to meet new people. It means I won't have the comfort and safety of my friends with me, but it increases the likelihood that I'll approach people I wouldn't have talked to others - or that they will approach me! (The friend I met through social deception games is the opposite, though. He says the comfort of having friends with him makes him more relaxed and confident, which makes it easier for him to meet new people.)

[lipsticklens]

🍓🍎🍊🍌🍏🥥🌶️🥬🍄‍🟫 for anyone of your choosing :3c

— @mister-ancunin !!!

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

ooo that's tricky, because i think there's a few different schools of thought ... honestly, i think he would've liked to go to college for something simple but intelligent ( like engineering or smthn? ) but he's so good with kids, and he loves them so much, i do think he would ultimately like to stay in education. just maybe without having the weight of all mutantkind on his shoulders ;;

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

does soup count?? lolol... honestly i'm sure it says somewhere off-handedly in a comic, but i'm not finding anything in search results ... honestly i think he drinks water more than anything else. maybe a nice sparkling water? ooo i bet he loves la croix. the beach plum flavor of la croix. final answer lol

i don't see him as a heavy drinker, btw. he indulges socially or if he's really upset. but he isn't inclined to drink a beer over a soda, for example.

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

i think he'd be a little concerned tbh - like, are my hands shaky? or weak? am i feeling ok? ( i usually actively want to peel my own oranges, because my sensory needs are very specific when it comes to fruit ) but he would definitely do it! and he'd make it as clean as possible, peeling off all the white bits and stingy parts, since he knows it's hard for me to have inconsistent textures in my mouth ♡♡

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

he loovves the big light lolol i think he likes a room to be as brightly lit as possible. "what's the use of a room you can't see everything in?" type of thinking. he would have the big light and all the lamps on in a room at once ... if he didn't have to worry about the electrical bill, that is.

( honestly i suspect having light shining on everything helps him see, since he's vision impaired and has to decipher everything through a very red color filter. but he doesn't want to admit it. )

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

i headcanon him as a bisexual trans man!

i think he knew he was a boy from a very early age, but didn't put it into words until professor xavier took him in. and of course, xavier was extremely supportive. i see him transitioning pretty fast and early on. like, it wasn't even a big discussion? he was very certain of it all.

being bisexual came on slower for him, i think. maybe mostly because he didn't realize it was odd to find your male friends so handsome? of course he was head over heels in love with jean right from the start. but honestly i think he would get crushes on boys at school pretty easily and frequently ( sliding in that i also headcanon him as very polyamorous lmao ) maybe he was talking to bobby about how being gay feels? and he realized "ah. i also feel this way... hmm."

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

one of my favorite things about scott is that he has to be very careful in picking hobbies, because he becomes obsessive so quickly and easily. he once played horseshoes for 27 hours and only stopped because bobby pulled the stake out of the ground. me n scott share so many diagnoses honestly . . .

that being said, he loves puzzles of all kinds! jigsaw puzzles, word puzzles, logic puzzles, number puzzles... anything that can stump him for a while! things that are intentionally time consuming.

he also likes board games, billiards, and things that are strategic and competitive at the same time. he likes to show off. and win things.

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

i don't think he has any personal home remedies. honestly no one was around enough in his childhood to pass any down to him (ノдヽ) and once he settled in with xavier and the team, i don't think any of them suggest anything other than medicine. but i'm sure if anyone suggested something enthusiastically enough, he'd be willing to try it! i, for one, definitely convince him to gargle salt water anytime he has a sore throat.

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

uhhh basically everything he does, lmaooo ♡♡ where do i even start. he eats cereal and soup constantly. he keeps all of his clothes and drawers meticulously organized. he used to he a radio announcer. he never deletes notes from his phone or throws away sticky notes ( he's worried he'll need them again later?? ) he's a funny lil guy, for sure . . . ♡

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

well, most fitting would be either a giant or ( ironically ) a phoenix, i think! but as for what he would choose, hmm... tbh i think he would choose a sasquatch. he would like the idea of still having human-like intelligence, but being enough of an animal to live in nature. and he relates to the idea of cryptids being mysterious and powerful, but still hiding from hunters.

[yourangel137]

Bloodstains on the curtain /chapter 1

Here is chapter one! I hope you all like it, I'm very proud of it myself so it's okay if you don't like it <3 @weney specifically made for u tbh

Pairings: yandere/murderer!Childe x GN!reader

Warnings: Murder, Blood, panic, stress

Genre: Angst (+ small bit of fluff)

Type: series

Word count: 1117 words

Summary: Why do you have to fall for him out of everyone? You know damn well you caught him in the act of murdering someone.. but you’re wrapped around his finger.. Turning a blind eye for him and only him.

I wish I didn’t see that, but I did.

You wipe the slightly sticky liquid off your hand with the towel you found in your gym bag. Breath is uneven, showing signs of anxiety and fear. Your eyes saw more than they wanted to see, yet your brain can not comprehend what exactly happened right before you. Remembering the details, how your body stood stiff from fear before the scene of horror u witnessed. How did you manage to even escape such a horrible scene? How did you manage to silently step away and he didn’t notice it? Did he notice you though, but decide to ignore you? He knows, you know he knows, but why are you still here? Why are you still alive? Why did he spare you?

You look at the towel in your hands, covered in the substance you once had on your hand. Never in your wildest dreams did you expect to touch the blood from a dead student you once knew. ‘Will I be next in line?’ You think to yourself, a thought you hoped you never had to think about. A big lump of saliva almost chokes you up, stomach aching and gurgling up acid from feeling sick. ‘Where is my phone??’ You search in your bag for your phone, eventually finding it in the side pocket next to your headphones. Quickly you dial the emergency number and wait for someone to pick up. The moment someone starts talking on the other line your brain speeds up a speech to tell them. “You’re speaking to Y/N L/N, please send the police!”

“Please calm down L/N, Can you tell me what happened?”

Your shaking continues as you find yourself sit down on the chair in the classroom you ended up running in. You took some deep breaths before answering the lady on the other line. “I-“ You swallow down a bit lump of saliva. “I witnessed one of the students being stabbed by an unknown man. Please! Please send help! I don’t know if the man is still here and I have no idea what to do! I’m located at **** University. Please send help!”

“Help is on the way L/N. Please stay on the line until help has arrived. Are you alone right now? Where are you located?”

With shaky breath you look around, not fully sure which classroom you ended up in. “U-uhm I don’t know.. I forgot..” The hallway outside the classroom once silent begins to echo the sound of footsteps. Footsteps light and airy, almost as if someone is happily skipping around unbeknown of the horror that happened in the gym changing room. How long has it been since you found out? Since you saw the murder happen before your very own eyes? “Can you go outside and check for me? The police will escort you out of your school safely.”

“U-uh.. I hear footsteps.” You whisper out the words, afraid to be heard by the person outside the classroom. “Okay, Are you located on the ground floor?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Alright, please stay on the line. Can you describe what you saw?” Your memories of the event flash before your eyes once more. The blood splashes on the walls, the man with the black mask on, the dead body of a woman on the ground. Everything feels like an explosion in your brain, causing a headache you rather not experience right now. Dissociation happens, body becoming weak once again, tear stained cheeks glowing from exhaustion and eyes slightly dilating. “Hello? Are you still there?” Your train of thoughts can’t seem to be broken yet.

“Y/N? Why are you in this classroom alone?”

The sudden voice appearance makes you gasp in surprise and you start choking on your saliva. Your eyes dart to the door, eyes full of fear and anxiety. “Oh my god, Y/N are you okay?!” You watch your best friend run up to you and you are too slow to react before you feel his arms pull you into a hug. “Hello? Are you still there?” The voice on the phone called out.

You feel your best friend let go of you before you watch him grab your phone and start talking. “Hello? Who is this?”

...

“Ah.. emergency services? Yes, I see. You’re talking to Tartaglia, their friend. I came to pick them up and I found them in a classroom.”

...

“It’s classroom 15A on the ground floor. Yes we’ll stay on the phone till then.” Tartaglia gives you your phone back before sighing and sitting down next to you. “What happened? Let’s stay calm okay? I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” He shows his usual soft smile towards you, the smile you ended up loving more than anyone elses smiles.

“I went to the gym changing room.. A-A friend forgot something and I came to grab it.. but in the showers.. I turned on the lights and I saw a man hovering over a dead girls body a-and he had a knife. I ran..”

The lady on the phone listens close, just like your friend does. The panic is clearly seen in your body language but also in the way you communicate. Trembles in your voice, stutters and heavy breathing, making it very difficult to understand. “It’s going to be okay L/N. Your help has arrived.” The lady speaks out on the phone and you soon start hearing many footsteps echo through the once empty hallway and towards the classroom you’re located at. “You’re safe.”

The classroom door opens and the police enter it, they immediately go to your side and check up on you. The other police make their way to the crime scene, a scene so bloody its best to close off the school so they can do full research on it. In the end, research teams enter the school too to check out the crime scene. Despite how desperate you are to know more about the murder and what clues they might be finding, it’s best for your own safety to stay by the side-line for now until they reach out for you to ask you questions. Your friend Tartaglia keeps you close, being sure to make you feel safe while explaining to the police what he was doing at school and what he witnessed by himself while being in school. He provides his own alibi to the police and it all seems to check out in the very end, but one thing seems off to you. You aren’t fully sure but.. You could’ve sworn you saw those keychains at the crime scene as well..

I wish I didn’t see that, but I did.

--

Hope u liked chapter one! Have a lovely day<3

Much love, angel

[yellowvixen]

Hi, hello! Binturong anon with a lot of word vomit here, so be warned. I just read your reply to my ask and I'm so happy right now! I was slightly worried for a bit that you didn't like my silly little story, but hearing that you put off posting it because you liked reading it made me feel warm inside. And you want to draw it someday??? 😳 I can't believe this I'm hdhdjgk

As for my Sol OCs, I do have a few that are specifically parallels, but I'm never quite happy with them. There's always so many good ideas and I sometimes end up finding other people's takes on them that are SO cool (like Rime!) or that have ideas I was thinking of and I'm suddenly paranoid that I'm ripping off somebody else's character...

I absolutely get the struggle of deciding things like species, there's so many cool animals to use and I freaking struggled deciding on ones for mine. The Knuckles one is probably one of the most complete actually, but unfortunately I cannot show you her or any others because I'm not an artist. 😞 So I just rotate them all in my head until I think "Nice" and put it down on a digital notepad. I'm always interested to see others create their takes on them though! I'm certainly interested in all of yours!

I never considered Team Dark, apart from my Sol Shadow, who's definitely the least thought out. There's so many other cool ones out there, so I never really bothered. The few I have, if you're curious, are supposed to be Knuckles and Amy, to round out Blaze and Marine's Classic Quartet basically. And also a different Sol Eggman, because Blaze's nemesis being Eggman in G-major feels like a kick in the face to both Blaze and the actual Eggman 😒. (I also have a Sol Big but she's technically a joke character. She's also really small. I gave her a dinosaur though, as all women deserve.)

Anyway, basically just wanted to let you know that Rime is cool and I'm going to be thinking about that reply for the foreseeable future. Have a good week!

SORRYY I LEFT THIS SO LONG stuff kept happening and then I got ill and then more stuff happened 😩

But! Yeah!! I think it's cool seeing other people's ideas for stuff like this, like I know for sure there are other versions of Sol Shadow out there that are ice powered cats like Rime!! I don't rlly think it's the end of the world if people independently come up with the same ideas as long as you don't purposefully copy anyone.

God you're so right about there being so many cool animals to choose from... Sol Rouge was easy for me but everyone else is being a pain skfjfhdgd. Eventually I'll figure them out though. (One day I promise...) Also! It seems like you have the descriptions of characters down even if you can't draw them, so you could always commission someone!!

I love the idea of Sol Amy too, I personally have 0 ideas for them so might not design my own version tbh. But having a Sol Classic 4 is super cute! You could have a lot of fun with their designs too, the way classic Amy looks pretty different from modern Amy. Sol Eggman too... I've just kinda retconned Nega and made him actually be from the Sol dimension idc about canon LOL I haven't thought about it too much.

Also TINY SOL BIG??? I'm in love that's so cute and such a fun alt version. With a dinosaur too FUCK yes.

I really love how imaginative people are when it comes to the Sol dimension, actually giving it more characters and lore! If sega won't give it love then at least we will 😤

Thank you sm for enjoying Rime, and once again sorry this took so long for me to answer 🥲🩵 I hope you have a nice week too!!!