#it took me 10 min to get out to get food 10 min to get food and eat and then 10 min to get back
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Can’t afford my gender affirming beers so I guess I have to start smoking the eight I bought like 6 months ago before I promptly stopped smoking
#joking#mostly#unless …?#eaii#fuck I’m so#I can’t afford anything because I had to pay off my credit with what I was able to save from my last pay check#I asked my ‘gf’ to pay groceries this week (for the first time literally ever) and it turned into a fight#I’m back as a wage slave which is good because yay income#but I haven’t worked a job where the 30 min break is enforced in. well actually ever#it was definitely supposed to be at my first job but my manager regularly took hour+ long breaks and so he let the rest of us do the same#and god fucking damn#I cannot believe that by law a 6hr shift only warrants a 30 min unpaid break#it took me 10 min to get out to get food 10 min to get food and eat and then 10 min to get back#what the hell!!#like I already didn’t want to kms because I didn’t have time to make food to bring before my shift so I had to spend my last dollars on food#I took as many hours as possible this week but we’re at the beginning of a pay period so I don’t actually get paid for another two weeks#idk what I’m going to do#I feel fucking terrible begging my dad for money#maybe I should start doing sex for hire again#any money I put away to save is always used up to pay for bills#which isn’t a unique problem but is a vicious cycle to escape
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i love chasing chickens
#woof 🐶#they hid from the cat under a pile of branches and i had to carefully move the debris#so many fckng spiders n spider webs i was in pain#anyways after 10 mins i finally reached them and one of them hopped out so i let my mom n sister go after that one#while i worked on getting the other one out. he went further in and made some shrieking sounds like if he hurt himself 😭#i felt so bad for him but after breaking off the branches and twigs that could've poked him i finally was able to grab him#and pull him out :)#he was chill :)#my mom and sister were arguing bc my sister kept letting the other one get away bc she wasn't following directions but they got so excited#when they saw me coming out from the corner of the yard LMAO we put him in a box before i ran after the other one#we cornered him and my mom got him now they are safe in the shed for the night w their food :)#scarlett.txt#i miss running around it's fun#i took another shower bc i felt disgusting after being knee deep in the branches#do not wear mid rise pants#mid rise shouldn't exist i was in the trenches when my sister n mom were laughing at my white boxer briefs hanging out 🧍🏽♀️
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Where you're convenient (II)
Scenario - Yes it was circumstances that forced these arrangements but why was it that at its breaking point, all you want to do is hold on to it?
Pairing - Husband! Seokmin × reader
Genre - smut with lots of plot, fluff fluff fluff cause there's a kid 👀, and angsty angsty pining hehe
Word Count - 11K (as usual, I apologise)
Warnings - oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (well there's babies wanted here so), riding, cum eating
A/n - part 2 is finally here! These keep getting longer idk why 😭 I'm gonna take a small break and shift attention to my series before I return for part 3 (woozi)!
P.s all 3 parts are not related, they can be read individually, they simply share the same trope of marriage of convenience which I'm an absolute sucker for 🙃 Read Joshua's here!
The moment Seokmin’s eyes fell on the entrance of the overpriced restaurant, he knew exactly why his sister insisted on this meeting.
Sighing deeply, he parked his car in a vacant lot and ran his fingers through his untamed hair, glancing at his reflection of the mirror. There was no need to look his best for this meeting, just presentable would do - after all, he was not here to impress. Grabbing the bag you handed him earlier today, he made his way in, eyes falling on his sister and her company - a pretty woman, definitely around his age since clearly, this was yet another attempt to set him up on a date.
He greeted them with his usual sweet smile before hugging his devil of a sister, whispering a bunch of obscene words in her ear which she coolly ignored, habituated to his reaction to such meetings over time. Although he was already prepared to leave, he slid across the boxes of cupcakes you made and took a seat, pulling out his phone, while his sister raved to her friend about how you made the best cupcakes in the world.
Seokmin 17:48: Just met Minseo. Should be home in an hour. Traffic's really bad.
And then his sister began her usual business of introducing her friend to him, then him to her, then mentioning how 'surprisingly' the two of them were so similar, subtly hinting how they would be so compatible.
Seokmin rolled his eyes, familiar with this drill, listening to her blabber with a struggling, polite smile. This was quite a frequent occurrence - every now and then Minseo would bring a friend or colleague to introduce them, afraid that her useless brother would die single given how uninterested he was in dating. Today's friend was Sumi, her colleague from the first ever company she worked in, who was apparently his age, recently single, also loved pizza and working out. Barely interested in the ongoing conversation, Seokmin kept glancing at his phone time and again, relieved when it finally buzzed.
You 18:04: Okay, have fun with MinSeo, tell her I said hi!
You 18:04: Also, look at this [attachment]
It was a photo of Aera, her mouth, hands and clothes covered in a light pink frosting as she laughed at the camera both innocently and mischievously.
You 18:05: I swear to god, I can't look away from her for a second.
"Are you even listening Min-ah?
Seokmin looked up at both ladies staring at him with a tinge of annoyance and turned his phone to show them the picture that was making him smile so ridiculously. Instantly, they broke out into a series of awws and little praises making his heart swell with pride. That was his daughter after all.
"Isn't she the cutest?" Sumi looked up from his phone. "She's two and a half right?"
"Actually she's 2 years and 10 months." Seokmin took back his phone, taking another look at the love of his life. "Born in May."
"A Taurus baby?"
"Gemini." He corrected. "Last week of May."
"She must be quite the troublemaker huh?"
"You have no idea." Seokmin laughed typing a reply.
Seokmin 18:08: What have you done to my sweet angel?
"Shall we order food first?" Minseo picked the menu card. "What about pizza-"
"Not for me." Seokmin shook his head. "I'm not eating. In fact, I have to leave soon."
"Min-ah, come on, you're seeing me after so long-"
"I literally saw you last week, at mum's place."
"But it's your first time meeting Sumi, don't be rude."
Seokmin turned to her friend. "I'm sorry, I would stay longer but I haven't seen my daughter all day and I'm sure there's food at home already." He glanced at his sister before turning back. "I don't know if you know, but my wife makes really good food, she's a chef."
"A pastry chef." His sister corrected. "I mean no one makes desserts better than her but you're the better cook. "
You 18:10: Angel? She's the devil spawn, this little thing.
Seokmin 18:11: Are you calling me the devil? How dare you
"Maybe," He looked up from his phone. "But I always eat dinner made by my wife."
Minseo rolled her eyes yet again, but Sumi nodded understandingly. When the two women discussed for 20 whole minutes, finally placed an order for themselves and Sumi excused herself to the washroom, Seokmin turned to his sister.
"Why won't you give up?"
"Why won't you give in?"
"Because, everyone you try to set me up with is not my type.."
"Really?" Minseo raised an eyebrow. "What about Sumi is not your type? You two are literally the same people."
"Yeah well, did you see her nails? Clearly she loves manicures and stuff like that."
His sister blinked, lost. "And that's a problem because?"
"I have a child you idiot, I can't have those claws around her?"
"So she'll stop getting them done. That should solve your issue."
"I don't want anyone to change themselves or give up on things they like because of me."
"I'm about to kick your ass Lee Seokmin." She muttered angrily. "I have tried to set you up with all kinds of women yet no one is good enough. What do you want Min-ah?"
"What do you want? Why do you keep dragging me to these-"
"Because I want to see you happy!"
"I am happy!"
"Say what you want Seokmin, that's not a happy marriage."
He sighed. "What problem do you have with Y/n?"
"With Y/n?" She looked at him perplexed. "Not one damn thing. In fact when you leave her, I might just ask her to marry me, I love that woman so much. The question is......do you?"
Seokmin blinked, not finding the words. Love? Sure he had a crush on you a couple of years ago but to be honest, nearly everyone did. He was in his final year of culinary school when he caught sight of you at the freshers party, walking in in that tight silver dress, looking like a dream. Rumor was you already had a boyfriend so Seokmin simply introduced himself and walked away, letting that little crush of his fade over time. Soon after, he successfully graduated, got a job at a Michelin star restaurant and life was good until he met you again, almost 4 years later at an alumni party.
Now, did Seokmin still have a crush on you? He didn't know really, he didn't even have the time to sort his feelings, not when you were giving him the flirtiest eyes, hands and body moving not very decently on the dance floor and especially not when you dragged him by the collar to a nearby room and the two of you fucked for hours.
"You always go silent when I ask you this Min-ah. It's a simple yes or no question."
Minseo looked expectantly at her brother who had now diverted his attention to the notification bar and time on his phone - you had still not replied to him. Panic slightly bubbled in his chest. Was something wrong?
He quickly downed the glass of water before of him and grabbed his bag.
"I'm sorry noona, I should head home. I think Y/n needs me."
Before she could reply, he dropped a kiss on her forehead and ran out to the parking, leaving his sighing sister behind. Through the glass she watched her brother rush away in his car, wondering how many more of such set ups it would take before he admitted what he felt for you.
Though Seokmin wanted to get back home as soon as possible, with all that traffic, all he could do was wait, fingers tapping on the wheel, mind getting restless. It was not like you to take so long to reply, he knew that much. Sinking back into the car seat, he glanced out at the streets that he no longer walked down ever since he became a father. The life of leisure he once lived was no longer a possibility because now he lived only for his daughter. And you.
It wasn't a part of his life plan to become a father so young but apparently, things have their own way of panning out. He was supposed to become a famous chef, open his own chain of restaurants, establish himself as a successful businessman and retire by 45. Instead, he found himself getting a phone call from an unknown number about 2 months after that fateful night of the alumni party. It was you.
It was indeed strange that you asked to meet up at your workplace considering the two of you had made it very clear to each other that this was a one time thing, but he went regardless. Over a cup of coffee and a piece of cake you broke the news that you were pregnant and the child was his. Now Seokmin knew condoms were not 100% effective but that night the two of you had used quite a few of them, given how many rounds went down.
You told him you were going to have the child and if he wanted, he could be a part of the baby's life too. Of course he wanted to, even though this entirely threw off his life plan, of course he would be a part of his child's life, there was no question. Seokmin had grown up without the presence of a father his whole life and he knew what the felt like - there was not a chance he would let that child go through the same as well. So he told you he was there for whatever you needed and however you needed him.
The first trimester was quite uneventful. Seokmin had barely seen you after that meeting in the cafe - the two of you would just keep in touch via texts. He would check up to make sure you were eating on time and that the morning sickness wasn't too much. You would simply answer his questions and thank him. But you didn't ever ask much of him.
By your second trimester, he had moved into the building across yours so he could be near you for anything you wanted and everything you needed. He helped drive you to and from your prenatal visits, did grocery runs whenever you worked too late, carried your bags and boxes up the stairs. It was all on his own though, you still had asked for any favours.
The first thing you had ever asked of him was nearly a month later, around the 7th month of your pregnancy. In the middle of a rainy night, with a small bag slung over your shoulder, you had knocked on this door, mildly drenched and shivering. Seokmin instantly panicked even though you repeatedly assured him you were alright. The problem was your dick of an ex boyfriend, constantly knocking down your front door leaving you no choice but to take the fire escape and come here. That man had been behind you for months, insisting you take him back into your life, not taking no for an answer. His persistence had forced you to even change homes and numbers over the last year but now somehow, he had managed to find you again. You asked if you could stay here for a day or two till he stopped bothering you and Seokmin immediately agreed. He had no idea you were going through all this.
One day turned to two and two became a week. Seokmin had now began accompanying you almost everywhere, constantly keeping an eye on your surroundings and it was a miracle he hadn't landed a punch on that slime ball of an ex of yours. That man would harass and embarrass you publicly, he would turn up drunk at the doorstep and create a scene, throwing up and passing out, he would follow you to your workplace and just sit in the store hours on end. Things became exponentially worse when he found out that you and Seokmin were not in fact in a relationship, just expecting a child together - he went ballistic with his attempts to get you back.
Panic rose in Seokmins chest just thinking about those days years ago, hoping to god everything was fine at home. He glanced at his phone again as he parked his car and rushed out, bolting up the stairs, unable to wait for the lift. When he opened the door of his apartment, toys and books and things were scattered everywhere, in the middle of the living room, a bunch of disorganised chairs and sheets haphazardly thrown around.
Seokmin slowly and quietly approached the mess pushing everything aside, heart racing in his chest, thoughts plaguing his mind till he spotted you and his little girl, fast asleep in what was clearly a blanket fort, making him sigh in relief. Your phone was lying next to you and Aera was lying on top, head snuggled in your chest, raising and falling rhythmically. You looked so beautiful tired, sleeping with your hair askew and mouth slightly open - seeing the mess all around, Seokmin knew it must have been one of Aera's uncontrollably active days. He smiled at the way your arm protectively wrapped around her and how she clung onto you - watching the two of you together was always his favourite thing to do. But he knew it must hurt to carry her weight on top for so long so he slowly crouched and quietly tried to take his daughter into his arms but the moment he lifted her-
"Daddy!"
Seokmin laughed as his girl, now somehow fully awake, began excitedly moving in his arms in a little dance to welcome him home, giggling away. He stood up, hugging her back and peppering her tiny face with kisses as she proceeded to sing loudly in joy. (She truly did take after him.) He watched her amused, trying to make out what in the world she was saying, when you let out a soft groan, making him turn. As you stretched awake, yawning and sighing, eyes slowly fluttering open, flashing him a sleepy smile, Seokmin felt his heart flip in his chest.
"Why, why, why doesn't your daughter sleep Mr. Lee?"
He chuckled. "I think she takes after you Ms. L/n."
"Oh no no, I was always the obedient child in the house. Your sister told me you were the troublemaker."
"You're calling this cutie a troublemaker?" Seokmin scrunched the cheeks of his daughter earning the cutest laugh. "She looks like the best baby in the world to me."
You sighed, getting up and rubbing soft circles her tummy.
"You're always gonna be daddy's baby girl aren't you?"
You could too if you want to.
Seokmin ignored his stupid mind voice and glanced at your tired self, slightly worried. "How was your day?"
"Decent." You smiled. "I was working on orders in the morning - there was a baby shower I had to cater for in the afternoon. I swear, I stepped out into the balcony to take a call for literally 5 minutes and your 'best' baby here had lathered herself in all the frosting I made. Then I had to sit make another batch while while the sugar turned your daughter into a hyperactive destruction machine. She didn't even sleep in the afternoon and I had just managed to get her to sleep when..."
"Sorry." Seokmin gushed sheepishly. "I thought I was helping-"
"No, no that's okay, she needs to bathe and eat anyways. Better you wake her up, she gets all cranky otherwise."
Seokmin dropped a sweet kiss on his child's cheek as she continued to search for something in his ear lobe with utmost seriousness.
"How was your day? How's Minseo?"
"Oh same old, just complaining about her kids and mom, the usual." He didn't need you to know the exact details of what happened. Not when it didn't matter to him anyways. "She said she had dinner prepared at home so we didn't really eat anything."
"Oh no, you must be so hungry? I have a few orders to pack for tomorrow, let me quickly finish that up, then we can do dinner yeah?"
Seokmin nodded as you walked away to the kitchen, sleep barely shaken away.
The good thing about Seokmin's apartment was the large pantry, which when you first came to this house was merely a storeroom but over time, it had become your working station. After you had graduated, given your sweet tooth, you had traveled around, meeting different chefs, taking small courses and mastered the art of dessert making. Not only did that trip help get away from and over your ex boyfriend but it had also solidified your skill set as a pâtissier. After coming back to Seoul, an old senior and friend had contacted you, offering you a job in her bakery cafe till you worked on your own business plan and all was going well till that alumni party.
Sure, when Seokmin introduced himself to you in your freshmen year you thought he was possibly the most gorgeous person you'd ever laid your eyes on. He didn't seem too interested in you and that was fine, given you were already in a relationship with your high school boyfriend. Meeting him again, so many years later, finding out he had gotten oh so much hotter and having suffered a dry spell for so long, you had managed to somehow get into his pants for what was the best night you had ever had. You had quite literally fucked him out of your mind, and were happily moving on with your life when the news of the pregnancy hit.
You did go to work in the initial months but as the third trimester approached, it was hard to balance your well being and the strain that came from working. Your boss was kind enough to let you keep your job and that's how for the last 2 odd years, you found yourself working from home, only preparing and delivering on custom orders the shop received, allowing you to keep both your passion alive and make decent money.
"I was going to give Aera a bath-"
"Okay!"
"-but the neighbour's kids want to take her downstairs to play."
Normally, you wouldn't let her go down when it was late and dark outside but she needed to get that sugar out of her system and you needed to be alone with Seokmin for a bit. There was something you wanted to talk to him for a while now.
The giggles of your daughter faded in the background as Seokmin walked into the kitchen, pulling out a tub of something from his bag.
"I'm going to make the best ravioli you've ever had for dinner."
You smiled watching him wash up and put on an apron, getting ready to bustle away in the kitchen. You loved watching Seokmin cook - there was something so elegant and attractive about how well he navigated around while cooking, smoothly chopping and stirring away. He never let you make dinner. Though he slogged in the kitchen restaurant from day break till the evening cooking away, Seokmin never let you cook when he was home. He'd say you didn't have to worry about it when he was there. Actually, as long as he was around, you never worried about anything.
You didn't think there would come a point where Seokmin would become your partner for life but here you are. Years ago, when your ex was tormenting you, you had contemplated just moving out of the city but it was Seokmin who held your hand and asked you to face him bravely. You did, you really tried, but it didn't matter when the other man was such a terrible pain in the ass - nothing changed. It was then that Seokmin’s mother suggested that the two of you get married, hoping that would settle things once and for all but you refused.
As idealistic as that seemed, it was never your intention to bind Seokmin with you in such a permanent relationship but he didn't seem to think so. If a marriage was what it would take to keep his child safe, he was willing to do it. It took a few more months, a few more threats from your ex and a reasonable suggestion from your sister for you to finally agree to it. Within a few days the two of you were married with a set of promises said out loud and a set of them silently agreed upon
One, this would be an open marriage - two of you were free to see and be with other people and two, 3 years later, you would reassess where this relationship stood and what it's future would be.
You had agreed on this arrangement for Seokmin more than for yourself. Once you gave birth, you knew you'd be busy with your child and work, but you didn't want Seokmin to feel trapped because of one night's decision. True enough, after Aera came along, you didn't even have the time to look at another man, forget thinking about one. Sometimes you wondered if Seokmin found someone but from the intel that had reached you, it didn't seem like he had. He'd always come home immediately after work, he didn't usually go out anywhere on the weekends, his friends always complained to you that they never saw him around - Seokmin spent every breathing minute he had free with his daughter.
You glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall beside Seokmin for the nth time this month, noting each day that your wedding anniversary was approaching. It would soon be time to reevaluate your marriage with him but if you didn't find anyone and if he didn't find anyone, you wondered what he thought about your idea. One that you had been nurturing for a while now.....
Seokmin could feel your eyes burning into his back and knew you wanted to say something. By the time he walked into the kitchen you were already done with your orders which meant the last 20 minutes he spent cooking, you were simply lost in thought about something. Something Seokmin had a feeling he knew.
Ever since a month ago, when the restraining order against your ex was finally approved and the threat on you had been lifted, Seokmin had a gnawing feeling about the future of this relationship. You were not interested in a marriage to begin with, now you didn't have a reason to continue in it either. That could only mean one thing - you were going to leave him. The time had come.
Seokmin held his breath as you approached him,
"Seokmin, I was thinking...."
Please don't say you wanna leave me. Please don't say it. Please don't say it.
"It's been almost 3 years since we've gotten married and had Aera. She's not all grown up yet, but she's grown up quite a bit and....."
Please. Please. Please.
"I was thinking maybe it's time we...."
Seokmin took a deep breath preparing himself. This was it.
"Get a cat or something?"
Seokmin turned to you surprised. "A what?"
"A cat, or a dog if you prefer that, any pet actually."
"So you're not leaving me?"
"Huh?"
"I mean" Seokmin mentally smacked himself, rambling to his defence. "You're.... leaving that decision to me? To get a pet? Why? I mean why a pet, I mean why so suddenly?"
You sighed, leaning against the counter. "Aera constantly needs me around because she gets bored. She's young, she needs company and I'm hoping a pet can give her that? I mean obviously the better option would be if we.... I mean if she....."
Seokmin looked at you confused. "If she?"
Well, fingers crossed, here we go.
"I don't know, could have a sibling? Kids need company to grow up and I think it would be nice if Aera could have a little brother or sister....."
Seokmin stared at you, his expression unreadable before his voice softened, leaving him uncertain. "Do you really want that? Another child?"
"I think I'm ready for another one?..... if you want one that is." You add quickly. "I don't want you to feel compelled or anything. We can still just get a pet-"
"No..." Seokmin shook his head, clearing his throat before continuing. "I don't mind. I don't mind having another child. It's just....I don't know how complicated the adoption process is-"
"Oh." You scratched the back of your neck. This conversation was a lot harder than you had anticipated. "I wasn't thinking about adoption actually..... I mean it's great and everything but I was thinking more of a child of my own..... our child."
Seokmin blinked rapidly. "O-ours?"
"I mean we already have one together, I think it'll be a lot less complicated if I were to have another one that.....you be the father?"
.
.
.
That would not make anything less complicated.
"Your silence is scaring me Seokmin. There's no compulsion, it's only if you want. I might be the one giving birth but your preference matters too. If you don't want this then we'll just forget this conversation ever happened."
It was ridiculous you thought he might not want a future, a bigger family with you when he had been dreaming of this for the last 3 years.
"I love Aera more than anything in this world. If I could have another child that's part me, especially if it'll make Aera happy, of course I'd want that. It's just...."
"What?"
"How...." He refused to meet your questioning eyes. "How are you and supposed to.....you know?"
"Oh." Of course there would be a discussion about the process and of course you're flushed a violent shade of pink. "I uh looked into that, there's a few fertility clinics here that do a procedure called IUI, intrauterine insemination or something like that, basically it's an artificial process of.....sex?"
"Ah....." He nods slowly. "That sounds-"
You wanted to know what he's thinking, you wanted to know what he wanted but the doorbell rang, pulling you away from the conversation. Knowing the delivery person was here for today's orders you quickly excused yourself and turned your attention to your work, bringing out the orders, taking them down to load the van. By the time you're done and ready to listen to him again, Seokmin has already finished up in the kitchen and has his eyes glued to his phone.
He didn't acknowledge your presence, which is rather odd because Seokmin is always so reactive to you. Realising that he was perhaps not comfortable or in a disagreement with the discussion, you decided to end it and not being it up anymore. Instead, you resorted to cleaning up the mess in the living room, pointlessly might I add, for within minutes, your daughter came barging in, done with her playtime, ready to make a mess again. Before she could topple over the box of toys, Seokmin appeared out of nowhere, swooping her into this arms, protecting your just cleaned zone. He flashed you a smile, continuing to play a game of Aera-plane with her as you hugged your knees and watched them.
Seokmin was a great father and that was the reason you wanted to have another child with him. That and the fact that he was also a great person - one could scour the whole earth and not find a man even half as good as him. Though you had entered this marriage with the idea that it could end anytime, with each passing day, that turned into a strange fear - a fear of him leaving you, especially now that you and Aera were no longer in danger. When even your marriage could not keep your ex away from you, Seokmin decided to take things in a legal direction to finally get him out of the way. Now that all of that was successfully done, the number of things binding this marriage had reduced.
When you discussed the idea of having another baby with your sister, she asked if this was an attempt to add to the list of reasons keeping this marriage together. Oh hell no. If anything it was the exact opposite. Having another child with Seokmin would only lead to one thing - you falling in love with him all over again and him not feeling the same for you yet again. It would make ending this relationship, whenever the time came for it, that much harder. But you knew for Aera this decision made sense - it was only for her sake.
Seokmin and Aera had now switched to the game of Aera-train, the two of them crawling all around the space on their knees, making you laugh at their antics. You grabbed your little girl and pulled her into your lap, smothering her cute face with kisses as she wriggled in your grip. Exhausted, Seokmin lied down beside you, mouthing a thank you.
"How much more playtime is it going to take before you burn all that sugar missy?"
"Hide and seek!" Aera clapped, still not understanding how exhausted the two of you were. "You and daddy hide, I count."
"Aera, you need to shower-"
Not listening, she slipped out of your lap, plastering herself against at wall, closing her eyes.
"One, two-"
"Sweetheart-"
"Seven, ten, twelve-"
Seokmin looked up. "Who the hell is teaching her numbers?"
"Thirty, forty-"
Laughing you quickly pulled Seokmin to his feet, the two of your scrambling to find a place to hide and in the hurry, settling in the tiny gap between the closet and the bathroom, bodies pressed against each other. As the laughter faded, you realised just how close you were, faces inches apart, breath held and heart racing.
Hearts.
With your hands pressed against his pecs, you could feel his racing too.
"Should have hidden in different places huh" Seokmin whispered, earning a short nod from you.
"It's too late. We're stuck, I guess."
Seokmin couldn't tell what exactly you were talking about, somehow it's different. You gulped the phantom lump in your throat, trying to look away but there's only so much you could look at around you. When you looked at him again, he was lost in thought.
"What are you thinking?"
"I uh." Seokmin cleared his throat. "I was reading up about this Intra- thing."
Oh. So the conversation wasn't done. "Uh huh."
"It's expensive."
"Yeah it is...." You had already done all the research for it of course. "Which sucks because it doesn't have a very high chance of success either."
"Not to mention, it requires many tests and appointments."
"Yeah, it would interrupt with both our work schedules too."
"Exactly.....so I'm not sure if it's really the best option for us?"
You looked at him straight in the eye. What was going on in his head? Why was a completely wild thought entering your head?
You nodded slowly. "Maybe we should look into the alternatives. Try and do a little more research?"
"And find an option that's affordable, efficient, and not very time consuming."
"That would be ideal.....I wonder what that could be."
Both of you knew what it could be. Both of you knew exactly what it could be.
"The only way I can think of is," You tried not to let your voice shake. "The way everyone usually does this...."
Seokmin frowned, "There are other ways?"
How could a man this fine be this stupid?
"The way we already made a child Seokmin."
Just the memory of that night sends blood rushing down Seokmin’s body. That was not an event of loving baby making.
"You want to do t-that again?"
Your stomach literally wanted to hurl its contents. "Do you?"
"I mean," He could feel the sweat drip down the groove of his back. "If that's the best way to have another child. It does seem like the practical, logical, reasonable choice."
"Yeah..." You met his eyes, hoping to god he could tell you were lying. "That's the only reason why...."
The thick, unresolved tension makes you shiver, prompting you to shift in the space, and Seokmin's arms immediately grabbed you at the waist to keep you steady - he was terrified that the secret in his pants would expose him for what he truly was.....absolutely and fatally, gone for you.
If you had ever given him even the slightest indication that you wanted him, Seokmin knew for a fact that he would have given you a whole lot of babies by now - there was nothing more he wanted than a life and a family with you. But you only ever smiled at him sweetly, never letting on anything further and Seokmin was okay with that too. He was okay with whatever you wanted. Now you wanted him to put another baby in you and he had no idea how he was going to stay sane doing that. Or after that.
"Speaking of which...." You pulled away from him, looking concerned. "Where's the child we already made?"
It had to have been a while by now and Aera was usually much better than this at hide and seek, making the two of you panic and rush out of your hiding space, calling out to her. In less than a minute, Seokmin found her curled up in the couch fast asleep, snoring away.
You groaned. "She hasn't showered or eaten-"
"Shh, it's okay." Seokmin crouched beside her, attempting to carry her to her bed. "We can just-"
"Caught you!"
Much to Seokmin's disappointment, your daughter jumped out of the couch, kicking her feet, ecstatic that she had him fooled. You covered your mouth so Seokmin could not see you struggling to hold back your laughter as Aera ran around chanting, caught you, caught you.
"Well isn't she a smartass." You noted, trying to soothe his annoyance.
"Yeah, we need to stop letting her hang out with Yoon Jeonghan." He muttered as he picked up his running daughter, seating her on the side of his hip, squeezing her cheeks. "And I caught you so now playtime is over. It's shower time, you little pig."
Aera whined, trying to reach for you to save her and you stepped back. "No, no, you've done enough today. You've to sleep soon-"
"Not sleepy." She groaned, snuggling her head into Seokmin’s neck, as he walked away, shaking his head.
"You're not gonna let mommy and daddy sleep tonight are you?"
You froze in the middle of the hall hearing his words.
Tonight?
You were not really sure what came over you when you suggested having sex again to make another baby. Maybe it was the proximity of the space or the fact that he was already so on board with the idea or just because you've been wanting to jump this man for 3 years now. You don't really know. You didn't know how you were even going to sleep with him just one more time. Or how to handle things after that. Maybe this was a terrible idea.
Of course it was a terrible idea. And it was only further proven when you grabbed Aera's night clothes and walked into the bathroom to find both father and daughter settled in the bathtub, engaged in a waterfight, making you raise your eye brows in question.
"She put water all over me!" Seokmin justified as Aera covered her face in soap bubbles, hiding from you. "It's not my fault, she insisted I get in with her."
Yes but why did he have to take his shirt off for that? And why did your eyes have to follow those little rivets of water running down his bicep and chest? You tore your gaze away from him and quickly pulled your child out of the tub, and the moment you set her down, she giggled and bolted, making you sigh.
"I'm banning sugar in this house." Seokmin laughed.
"She usually gets sleepy after a meal." You threw him a towel too and looked away as he caught it. "Shouldn't disturb us too much tonight."
Seokmin stared at you as you left. Tonight?
You wanted to do this tonight? Hell no. He needed time. He needed to convince himself to not let this one time raises his hopes, to not let himself fall more miserably in love with you. How was he ever going to do that? Everything you did only made him that much more whipped for you. Even now, after he washed himself up and walked out, he saw you softly drying Aera's hair, singing her favourite song, and leaned against the door frame, smiling fondly. Just the thought of another child, part you part him, running across this space made his heart swell with joy. He really wanted that.
When you meet his eye and smiled, he returned it, ignoring his racing heart and walked off to heat the sauces for dinner - a non spicy one for Aera and another spicy one for the two of you. Your eyes followed him, noticing that he had donned a new pair of grey sweatpants which were hanging low on his hips, coupled with a white tank top that was doing a terrible job of hiding his pecs. God this man wanted to end you.
By the time you put Aera in her baby chair, he had already set everything on the table and true to his word it is the best damn ravioli in the world. You told him that and that was all the conversation that took place - dinner was unusually silent. Maybe because the both of you had the same set of thoughts running through your minds, both apprehensive about what would go down in the coming few hours. Even Aera had noticed the silence, her head turning between the two of you, her expression confused all through dinner. Yawning, she watched her parents awkwardly move around each other in the kitchen, even more polite and formal than they usually were as they cleaned it up.
You left Seokmin to put Aera to sleep as you headed to the shower to wash up for the night. Staring at the mirror, you stripped out of your clothes, observing everything that had changed over the last three years - you hadn't really cared for the post pregnancy effects on your body but somehow today you were feeling conscious. Taking a deep breath you convinced yourself that it was fine - that this was a one time thing anyways, that this was just to procreate, nothing else. Still, you quickly shaved yourself, used your best smelling soap and wore a new night suit - a pink one, with tiny flowers all over the shirt and shorts.
By the time you returned, Seokmin had already put Aera to sleep and settled in front of the TV, ready to play the next episode of masterchef, the one show the two of you being professionals thoroughly enjoyed. You wondered if you has misread his statement and had unnecessarily readied yourself for tonight and contemplated changing into something different when Seokmin sensed your presence behind him and asked you to hurry up. Biting your lip out of embarrassment, you walked over and settled down on the other end of the couch where you usually sat, not noticing the way his eyes trailed down your body before gulping and looking away.
"You're wearing a new night suit." He observed, avoiding mentioning that he also noticed you smelt different than usual - sweeter, more addicting.
"You're wearing a new track pant too." You added so it didn't seem like you were the only one who was prepared for tonight.
"I.... didn't really notice. Just grabbed the first thing I could find and..." Lies. Pure lies. Seokmin deliberately wore the most loose sweatpants he could find hoping to god it would hide the raging boner he was housing between his legs. Even though he had already jerked off prior to showering to avoid being caught, he knew just the thought of what might happen tonight was enough to bring it back and sure enough, just your scent was enough to do that. He pulled a pillow onto his lap, starting the episode to divert the topic.
As the show continued, the two of you did your usual drill of discussing the recipes, how you'd do it differently and what he'd change to improve it. The thought hadn't stopped running in the back of your mind though, about whether tonight was indeed the night. About who was going to bring it up, how you were going to do....it.
"That guy, he's got a great future as a pâtissier." Seokmin pointed at the screen. "If he ever opens a shop, I bet his dessert will be some of the most in demand in the city." He turned to you smiling. "Unless you enter the business. Then nobody stands a chance."
You laughed a little sadder than you intended to. "Having my own business feels like a once upon a dream now. With Aera now, I'm not sure how I can handle a whole business by myself-"
"Of course you won't be by yourself. I'll be there, with you, for you." He tilted his head. "Always."
"You've always wanted to have a restaurant of your own too. What about your dream?"
"I'm already working in one of the best restaurants in the city. I'm living half of it already. I wish you could live yours too."
How did he always place you before him? Why was he always so good to you?
You turned to face him, leaning against the armrest. "What if we both had one dream? We could open a small business of our own which could feature both my desserts and your food."
"That would work." Seokmin nodded. "But it would require an extensive kitchen, we both need a ton of very different equipment, a lot more investment and time on our hands too. I mean if both of us are busy, with not fixed working hours, who'll take care of the kid?" He paused for a moment before reminding himself and you. "Kids."
Your heart felt like it was in your mouth.
"If they're of school going age, it shouldn't be so hard to handle should it?"
He mirrored your posture, more interested in the prospect now that it seemed possible and you continued.
"I wanted to have my own shop by the time I was 30, which means we have another 6 years for that. Aera will start going to school when she's 5, so there's another 2 years for that."
"Which means if we want our second child to also be of school going age by that time then we should have one by....." Seokmin did the math on his fingers. "Early next year."
You nodded, doing math of your own. "Given it will take 9 months to get one out, it means I have to get pregnant by latest...."
"March." Seokmin concluded, staring at his hands. "Which is this month."
Fuck.
"And given the best time to get pregnant is when I'm most fertile and that's..." You glanced at the date on your phone screen and looked up at him just as he lifted his head. "Now."
The two of you stared at each other in the silence as the end credits of the episode rolled on the screen, the next one waiting to be played.
"Is..." Seokmin took a deep breath. "Is that the future you really want? Running a business together, having 2 kids.... us?"
You really really really wanted that.
You nodded slowly. "If you want it too."
Seokmin took a whole minute to stare at the floor before turning off the TV, submerging the two of you in the dimness of the night lights.
"I do." He tossed the remote aside, slowly meeting your eye. "So, we do this.... right now?"
You glanced around the house. "Well, we are done for the day. All we have left to do is head to bed....."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this was really happening?
"Wait," Seokmin panicked. "I don't have any condoms, I'll need to buy-."
"Lee Seokmin."
Oh no. "Yeah?" Had he messed up already? Did you not want to any more?
"We're trying to have a baby."
"I know....." and when the realisation hit, Seokmin felt all the blood leave his brain and shoot straight to his dick.
"So I..... so we're....I'm gonna do this raw?"
You looked at him, just a little amused. "That's kinda how getting pregnant works."
"What if you don't get pregnant?"
"Considering I got pregnant even when we did it with condoms, I don't know if that's going to be such a huge problem."
"Things don't always work out the same right? What if you don't get pregnant?"
"Then....we're going to have to do this till I get pregnant."
"This as in I...." Seokmin held his breath. "We have sex raw and...."
Your stomach flipped inside you. "And you come inside me, yes"
"I'm gonna fucking die." He muttered under his breath.
"Huh?"
He looked at your confused face, having not heard him. If you were going to let him re-live this, you deserved it too.
"Well, we have to do this right."
"What right?"
Seokmin ran his hand through his hair knowing he was digging his own grave with this.
"Come here." He tossed the pillow aside and held his hand out, pulling you closer as you took it, guiding you to straddle his lap. Both of you let out a soft groan as you felt his hard length under you and he could feel how soaked you were, through both your shorts and his pants.
"I know we're doing this to get you pregnant but when was the last time you...." slept with someone.
"With you." You confessed. "3 years ago."
Seokmin nodded slowly. "Then it's only right I make sure you feel good."
"What about you?" You stared at his collar bone instead, absentmindedly playing with the fabric of his tank top, wondering what the answer would be. Dreading what it would be.
"With you."
You looked up a little surprised. "You didn't see anyone else? In 3 years?"
"You didn't either."
"I didn't have the time."
"And I didn't have the need." He looked at you so earnestly, you wanted to bury this man in you and never let him go. "I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with Aera, I'm...." He smiled softly. "I'm happy with you. I'm not seeking anything else."
You cupped his cheek, running your thumb across the bone. How did you get so lucky?
"Seokmin." He hummed as you let your hands wrap around his neck. "Hurry up and put a baby inside me."
Groaning, he hooked his hands under your thighs, lifting you into his arms with surprising ease. Moving to the room with soft footfall and gently dropping you onto the bed, he watched as looked at him, pupils blown, reminding him of that night all those years ago. Fuck he really wanted to be inside you.
"Move back." He tapped your leg, clambering on the bed slowly as you obeyed, scooting behind, letting him slide his fingers between the elastic of your shorts. "Up."
As you raised your hips, he pulled down both your shorts and your panties in one go, leaving you feeling both strangely exposed and admired.
"You didn't have to." He muttered and you know he's talking about you shaving as he ran his hands up and down your thighs softly, before meeting your eye. "You're unbelievably beautiful, no matter what." A shiver ran down your spine as he leaned to drop a small kiss on your belly.
"Seokmin please..." You whined, pulling him up, unable to take the wait anymore. "Please just...."
"You don't have to beg sweetheart." He dropped another kiss on your forehead, then your jaw. "Let me make you feel good first, then I'll fill you up." His finger slipped between your soaked folds. "....and then again, just to be sure."
You let out the most unholy moan as his words shot straight to your core and his fingers easily found your clit, drawing soft circles, driving you insane in all ways possible. Seokmin looked at you with the softest eyes, laced with a hint of undeniable desire, like he was craving you. "Is it okay if I go down on you?"
Okay? It took all the sanity left in you to nod slowly, like you weren't eagerly throbbing just at the thought of it.
As you propped yourself on your elbows, he slowly slid down between your legs, pulling them over this shoulders, holding back a groan at the sight of the wet mess you'd made - you were dripping and he revelled in it. Eyes still locked with yours, his tongue ran up your folds, making you grip the sheets below, mouth falling open in a not so silent sigh. Fuck you hadn't been touched properly in so long and the fact that it was Seokmin again of all people was making it so much better. You'd been wanting him for way too long now.
"You need to keep it down baby." It took everything in you to turn the moan that left you into a whimper. How on earth were you supposed to that when he was saying such things??? "Our daughter is asleep next door."
You nod hurriedly, lacing your hand through his thick hair, as he went down on your again, smiling against your skin. He knew you needed him, badly, and God he wanted you so much too, he wanted you in entirely.
His nose brushed against your clit, making you almost writhe at the overstimulation, stopped only by the tight grip of his hands around your thighs. Unable to grab much of the sheets with your free hand, you slid it under your shirt, grabbing a boob, squeezing it pathetically as Seokmin watched you, nearly cumming in his pants. Maybe one day he would admit this out loud, but the first year after Aera was born, watching you feed her with your breasts spilling out of your bra always drove him certifiably insane. As pathetic as it sounded, he was jealous of his months old daughter but now..... Seokmin slid his hand up your body, feeling how perfectly your free breast filled his hand, the moan he let go against your clit vibrating through your body, pulling out the sexiest gasp he'd ever heard.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were going to be the end of him.
"More." You moaned, pushing your hips up, desperate to be filled. "Seokmin, just a little more-"
And that's when letting go his ministrations on your boob, he brought his hand back down to your entrance, pushing a finger in. And then another. And God, though you were throbbing and practically dying to be filled, the intrusion sent the pain of the stretch shooting up you, making you wince and grab all you had your hands on a lot tighter. Sensing your discomfort, Seokmin stopped immediately, raising himself up, his face hovering over yours, concerned.
"Did I hurt you?" He hadn't touched you in so long, honestly he had no idea how to touch you either - what you liked, what you wanted, he didn't have a clue. He'll learn, he swears if you let him, he'd memorise every small detail, every single sign.
"Just...." You panted, feeling the pain ebb into pleasure. "No, no, you didn't, please don't stop."
Obeying, Seokmin instantly began pumping his fingers, still watching you closely. Under his gaze you felt so exposed, like if he looked a little deeper into your eyes he would see the unbelievable amount of love you had for him. Would that be such a bad thing though?.....
Fisting the material of his tank top, you pulled him down, pressing your forehead against his, letting your moans spill right into his ears. Chest swelling with pride, Seokmin picked up the pace, alternating between scissoring you open and pushing his fingers knuckle deep. Lord why was he so good at this?
Seokmin watched as your breaths got shallow and quick, knowing you were nearly there and brushed his thumb over your clit with just enough pressure to push you over the edge. Back arching off the bed, you clenched around him, feeling wave after wave of pleasure erupt across your being as though every nerve in your body was set on fire. Seokmin stopped but did not pull out, eyes fixed on the way you were a panting mess under him, still struggling to ground yourself.
"That...." You focused your vision on him, a slight smile dancing your lips. "That was fucking good."
"Hmm language." Seokmin laughed, finally and unfortunately pulling his fingers out leaving you empty and wanting. You turned to him as he buried his elbow into the mattress beside your face, propping his head on his hand, glancing down at you. You looked at him and he looked at you, blinking slowly, letting so many unsaid things pass in the silence. Bringing your hand up, you traced the outline of his features with a strange sadness that when all this was over there was going to be distance between the two of you again.
Seokmin needed you to stop that. He needed you stop looking at him, to stop touching him like that, there was only so much he could control himself. He knew he wouldn't get this chance over and over again and he wanted to make it count as much as possible. For you and for him.
"Didn't actually get to eat you out." He muttered in your ear, running his fingers between folds, gathering your release, spreading it around your throbbing hole. "Wanna make you come on my tongue."
To his momentary disappointment, you shook your head. "Some other time." What? "Right now I need you to get inside me."
"Just one-"
He stuttered to a stop when you ran your hand down his torso, palming his erection, it's thickness literally making you salivate. God you wanted him in your mouth so bad but you needed him inside you a lot more desperately. You had slept with him him before, you knew he felt like heaven and you had waited long enough.
"Seokmin please." You squeezed his length, earning a low growl from him. "I want that baby. I really want it." When he moved, hovering over you once again, palms planted beside you, you didn't even realise the words that left you. "I really want you."
Seokmins eyes widened, processing your words, but that was before you clawed the material of his tank top on his back, making him sit up and strip out if it in a flash. He didn't have it in him to get out of the bed and step put of his track pants, opting to pull his length out of them instead, stroking it, spreading his precum all over it. He watched your eyes fixed on his movements, mouth slight open, before you blinked up at him, sighing like you couldn't wait. Mirroring your desperation, Seokmin slowly pushed himself into you, slipping in with a satisfying ease, bottoming out with a groan. Your nails raked his bare back, struggling to ground yourself as he filled that emptiness in you oh so well.
"Move." You moaned, adding a please at the end as though he wouldn't happily bury himself in you again and again. Though he needed a minute. He needed to memorise the feeling of you so warm and tight around him. Fuck you were a dream.
When you whimpered his name again he finally started moving, pulling back a little and pushing himself all the way in again and again. You slid your hands up, hooking them onto his shoulders, feeling every bit of him inside you, walls throbbing with every drag against it. It took everything in Seokmin to not empty himself entirely in you when you clenched around him, slowly approaching your high.
"A little longer." He pleaded. He didn't want this to end yet. "Hang in there a little longer for me beautiful. Come with me."
Then maybe he should have shut his mouth. His words had your heart racing as you felt that familiar build up in you, the one that has your toes curling. Seokmin knew you were going to come soon with the way your kept fluttering around him, squeezing and releasing him in a way that was testing his sanity.
"Shit." He muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck and pulling your leg, guiding it towards his waist, making you wrap both of them around him, his length reaching spots you didn't even know were possible. It only took a few more strokes of increasing speed before you felt that knot tightening in you rapidly unravel, pushing wave after wave of please coursing through your body, literally blinding you for a minute there.
By the time you regained your composure Seokmin was still in the same position, buried deep inside you, his breath softly caressing the skin of your neck, face hidden from you. You slowly ran your hands up and down his back, letting him know you were okay. In fact you were better than okay, something told you if he fucked you a little longer you would fall apart around him all over again.
"Go on." You tightened your legs around his waist, feeling how he was still so painfully hard inside you. "Do it Seokmin, come inside me."
To your surprise, you felt him sigh, as he attempted to pull out but remained unsuccessful given the way you had locked him against you.
"What's wrong?" You could feel your heart thump in your chest at his uncertainty.
"Can I be honest with you?"
Oh no. "Of course."
Please don't end this.
"I....."
Please don't say you don't want this.
"I don't want you to get pregnant again."
The way you immediately let him go makes him quickly pull up, his eyes meeting yours which look devastated. Was all he wanted just sex?
"Yet!" He added hurriedly, panicking at your misinterpretation. "I don't want you to get pregnant again yet. Not that I don't want to have another child with you, God no, there's nothing I want more, just....." He gulped looking away. "Not yet."
His words don't offer you much comfort.
"Why not?" You whispered, terrified of where this conversation was going. "I thought we both thought the timing was right...."
"It is. Its absolutely right. It makes absolute sense. It's just..." Did us making this future together not make sense? "I don't know what this is going to make you think of me but I can't keep pretending anymore. It's going to sound incredibly selfish of me but...."
Please please please don't say you don't want me anymore.
"I want you." You looked at him surprised. "I want you entirely. I don't want you to just be the mother of my children, I want you to be my woman. Mine." He sighed, refusing to meet your eye, terrified to learn what you think of him. "If you get pregnant now, it'll be another few months of dealing with the pregnancy, then the baby and I love the thought of that, god I really do, but a part of me just wants you to myself for a while. To have you as my wife, as a partner, to make love to you again and again and-"
"Wait." You stopped him, unable to take the weight of his words. Did this mean he.... "Look at me." You held his face in both your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. God, if only you both had just a little more courage, this could've happened years ago. But clearly, it was still not too late.
"Seokmin."
"Hmm."
.
.
.
.
"I love you."
Your husband's eyes widened with a whole range of emotions. "Y-you do?"
"Fuck Seokmin, I love you so much. I've been in love with you for so long. How could I not? There's not a thing about you that doesn't make my soul crave for you. I just thought I was a burden, a responsibility you had no choice but to fulfill-"
"No choice?" Seokmin looked at you incredulously. "You are who I would pick over and over and over again, till my last breath, God I love you so much it drives me insane-"
Before he can say anything more you pulled him down into what you realised was your first ever kiss, and he immediately kissed you back, like he wanted this more than he needed to breathe. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer like you couldn't bear to part from him as his hands found your waist, pressing you against him. You didn't want to stop, neither did he, until he pulled away, burying his face in your neck, holding you in a tight hug, one that felt so complete and made you realise how perfectly they two of you fit against each other. And that this entire time Seokmin was still inside you, waiting to finish. As you involuntary clenched around him, Seokmin groaned in your ear.
"Lie on your back."
He pulled back at your words, raising an eyebrow. You gently pushed him off you, his back hitting the mattress.
"Off." You patted his pants, and he quickly lifted hips and kicked it off just before you swung your legs around his waist, straddling him. Seokmin let out a low whistle, slightly smiling at the sight of you above him. You ran your hands down his pecs to his abs as he tucked an arm under his head, watching you.
"Hey."
You hummed in response, tilting your head at him.
"I love you." He looked at you earnestly. "I really really do."
"I love you too." You confessed again, leaning down to drop him a quick kiss, your hand wrapping around his length. "But right now, let me make you come big boy."
Seokmin somehow felt himself get more hard, if that was even possible, as you pumped his length in your hand a few times before raising yourself and aligning it against your entrance, slowly sinking down on it. As your mouth dropped open in a silent sigh feeling him fill both your body and your heart, Seokmin moaned, his free hand running up your thigh. Rocking your hips, slowly readjusting to his thickness, you threw your head back, baring your neck in a way that made Seokmin's mouth water. As he tried to bring his hand up to strip you of your shirt, you beat him to it, slowly unbuttoning it and sliding it off your shoulders, allowing Seokmin to sit up and wrap his mouth around your breast. You ran your hand up the nape of his neck, relishing the way his tongue swirled around your nipple, wondering how in the world the two of you managed to keep your hands off each other all these years. You didn't think you could do more than a while without this man's touch from now.
Pulling him from you, you pushed him back once more, holding onto his shoulders for support as you began moving your hips up and down his length. Seokmin cursed under his breath as he gripped the flesh of your ass, guiding your movements. Honestly, he didn't even need you to ride him to finish, just the look on your face, the perfect combination of love and lust, flushed red, slightly shining with sweat, fuck that was enough for him. He held on for as long as he could, hating the idea of not being in you anymore, but when you bit your lower lip, eyes hooded, he couldn't stop himself anymore.
"Fuck, I'm cumming."
To his surprise you immediately pulled yourself off him, stroking his dick in your hand, as he finally lost it, his cum splaying all over his abs and your stomach. He looked at you eyebrows raised as you, collected his cum with a finger and slipped it your mouth.
"Do not." Seokmin groaned at the sight. "Don't make me go again, I might just break you."
You laughed, dropping into the space beside him as he put his arm around you, pulling you closer.
"Why though? Wasn't all this for baby number two?"
"Yeah well, I don't think any of what we did was part of traditional baby making."
Seokmin laughed. "You're not wrong there but what about the plan then..."
"I think we can give ourselves some time before we execute our perfect life plan." You cupped his cheek. "Besides, I think everything is perfect already with you by my side."
You had no idea how long the two of made out after that, simply entangled with each other. Maybe it was until you both realised how desperately you needed to shower (though you continued to kiss and giggle under the water.) You only stopped when you stepped out and heard a soft whimpering in the baby monitor, prompting you to quickly get dressed and rush to Aera's room, Seokmin following behind.
He stood, leaning against the door as he watched you lift her into your arms and holding her against your chest.
"Why won't your daughter sleep Mr. Lee?"
"Again, I think she's taken after you Ms.L/n."
"It's Mrs. Lee." You corrected, making him smile.
As he watched you put your child to sleep, be didn't think he could love you any more. Little did he know, in a little over 9 months, mini Seokmin would make his way into this world, and Seokmin loved you more than ever.
#lee seokmin#seokmin smut#dokyeom smut#dk smut#seokmin angst#dokyeom angst#dk angst#seokmin fluff#dokyeom fluff#dk fluff#seventeen seokmin#seventeen dk#seventeen dokyeom#seokmin × reader#seokmin scenario#seokmin one shot#dokyeom one shot#seokmin fic#dokyeom fic#Joshua smut#jisoo smut#jihoon smut#woozi smut#seventeen scenario
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Out Back
Linecook! Anakin x F!Reader
a/n: lol this literally took me so long I’m so sorry!! But I’ve been craving a lil modern ani WORKING MANNNN anyways hehe here it is.
NSFW mdni!
Anakin is in a mood and you intend to get to the bottom of it
Warnings: gn!reader, cursing, banter, hand job, unprotected sex, cum, outdoor sex, almost getting caught, anakin is a moody brat
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“Yea- I got it!” Anakin annoyedly shouted through the window for the nth time as waitresses flew through the kitchen shouting changed to orders- changes Anakin had to fix.
More char, too rare, more seasoning, no tomatoes in the salad, parm crust
Anakin was more irritable than normal today for some reason but no one could quite pinpoint why. He was usually a flirty “know it all” but today everyone was walking on eggshells around him.
He brushed his sweat sheened forehead against the sleeve of his black t-shirt before continuing to flip the line of steaks in front of him. He wasn’t the only one in the kitchen, but today he was working with a bunch of newbies and he was struggling to correct their mistakes while keeping up with demand.
“Shit! Watch where the fuck you’re going!” Anakin yelled when one of the new cooks crossed over from the salad station to the grills without letting the others know.
“Say behind if you’re gonna be crawling around people- Fuck!” Anakin shouted angrily.
The other cook bit his tongue and nodded like a puppy that had just been scolded for chewing on the furniture.
The manager had been watching Anakin’s increasingly bad mood and was debating stepping in.
You arrived for your shift 15 minutes early, just like always and headed to the POS station to clock in. Your manicured nails clicked against the greasy screen before logging you in.
“Finally- Bout time you got here, rush has been killin’ us today” Hera said in passing as you tied your server's apron around your waist.
“What do you mean “finally”?! I worked night shift and had to stay to help Ahsoka close til 1 am and I’m still 15 min early” you half laugh- half snapped back at the older server.
You passed by the food window to see if a certain someone was working; lo and behold he was. Anakin always looked so focused when he was in the kitchen, you could say that after months of observing the slight furrow of his brow when mixing the salads or when his tongue peeked out of the side of his mouth when he was plating dishes to run.
But what you noticed most of all was his alluring appearance; to you, it seemed he should be on the cover of a magazine rather in a small dingy kitchen in the back of some random restaurant in the city.
His angular face and sharp features had every new waitress fawning over him- and of course he flirted right back; no one knew his relationship status but one could only guess he had none.
When you first applied, he flirted with you during your interview before being swatted away by your manager. You left feeling as if you were special based on how he acted.
But once you actually started working there you heard all the rumors. He had gotten with most, if not all of the other waitresses (even some of the married ones). The other woman warned you not to get too attached because he never stayed in one place long and was seemingly scared off by commitment or anything other than maybe a two time hook up.
That wasn’t really your thing so you decided not to get involved at all- of course you still flirted with him, but you kept the extent of that in the kitchen.
“Hey hotshot- how’s rush serving ya?” You joked through the window as you grabbed the newest salad to run to table 10.
Anakin had been so focused that he barely registered anyone was even in front of him but once he picked up on your sweet voice his head snapped up.
He was about to respond in his normal flirty manner but then he remembered what had him in such a bad mood in the first place… you.
Servers get discounted meals if they come in on their days off and the last time he worked it just so happened that you were not. When he overheard the other girls talking about your appearance he was going to go out and chat it up- that was until he saw you sitting across from another man.
From further observation he deducted that it wasn’t a cousin or brother, nor was it a long term friend… you were on a date. And Damn did you look good.
Anakin was no stranger to the fuck boy lifestyle and keeping a nonchalant attitude about others; but something about you sitting there with someone else struck a chord in him.
He realized that the past few months of “flirting” with the new girl had turned into actual pining.
As much as he hated to admit it- he was attached.
At first he chalked the unfamiliar feeling of desire to being annoyed that you weren’t falling for his normal tricks that worked on everyone else.
But then he actually spent more time with you; accompanying him for his smoke breaks out back, complimenting him on his precision and skill in the kitchen, when he drove you home when your car was in the shop…
Somewhere in between all of that he found himself really wanting something more than just a hookup with you. And everyone in the kitchen could tell, except you.
He never flirted with anyone else when you were around and kept his other comments to a minimum even when you weren’t there. He stopped answering any of the late night texts asking for him to come over from other waitresses (causing a few to quit).
The other cooks in particular noticed how much he blushed when you entered the kitchen- and no, that much redness was not just caused by the heat of the grill.
All of his suppressed feelings came to a head when he saw you smiling away in that booth yesterday with a guy that wasn’t him.
“Fine.” He grumbled out to you as he tossed up the next plate to the window.
You took his cold response as him just being tired and swiftly ran the food.
Once you came back he had moved to the grill station with his broad back to you.
A bit odd- Anakin never gave up an opportunity to talk to you. But whatever, he was just in a mood.
The rest of the day went by with the normal rush but once the clock hit 4:00 pm, you clocked out to take your break. You passed the cooks area on the way to the back and didn’t see Anakin, he must be on his break too.
Instead of sitting on your phone, scrolling through your friend’s posts- you set out to find the sandy haired cook. There really were only two places Anakin would be on break: the bathroom or out back to smoke a cig; the latter being more likely.
The cool fresh night air was a relief compared to the stuffy hot kitchen that you had been running around all day. Without having to even look over you could already smell the tell tale smoke of Anakin’s Lucky Strikes.
You approached the moody cook quietly and took a seat next to him on top of the transport crates.
“Finally found you- have you been avoiding me, hot shot?” you joked, using a nickname you had been calling him since you knew that the flirting wasn’t anything to read into with him.
He took a long drag before exhaling the smoke out of his nose and slowly turning towards you.
“No but if I were trying to, it obviously didn’t work,” he said coldly.
Maybe he actually was upset…
“What's going on with you today Anakin?” you asked, genuinely concerned.
“Since when do you care?” he snapped, making you instinctively pull back.
He noticed your aversion towards his words and immediately cursed himself; he took another drag and hung his head.
“I-I just wanted to check on you… but I’ll leave you alone now” you said solemnly as you stood from your place beside him.
Before you could get your hand on the door he called out your name, making you turn to see him looking straight at you.
“What Anakin?” you sighed, no matter his attitude you just couldn’t get rid of the soft spot you had for him (maybe deep down you still liked him).
He took a deep breath and put his cig out on the side of the crate he was sitting on. Was he really about to reveal the real reason he was being so dramatic? God, how embarrassing.
“Friday… who was that guy you were with?”
It took you a minute to even remember who he was referring to but once you did you groaned and hid your face in your hands.
“That’s my best friend’s older brother- he’s been trying to get with me since I was a sophomore in high school”.
Anakin felt his heart skip (now he was really embarrassed).… He didn’t fuck up his chances, but he needed to act quickly- that was too close.
You cringed at the memory of the date until you realized why Anakin would have asked that in the first place and a playful smirk found its place onto your face: “But why do you ask?”.
“Cause I want you” he said, eyes filled with passion.
Wow. You really weren’t expecting him to be so forward.
“Well you want everyone” you brushed it off with a light laugh.
“No. Not like this.” He could feel his body heating up- he hadn’t genuinely confessed to anyone in ages nor had he wanted someone so bad.
“What are you talking about Anakin?” you asked shyly as he guided you back to your place beside him.
“Ever since you walked through that door on your interview day… I just can’t get you out of my mind and I just…” he trailed off before looking back down at his calloused hands.
“Do you say that to every girl who doesn’t immediately fall for you?” you scoffed as you shook your head.
It sounded so cliche and honestly you weren’t convinced. But maybe it was also because you were realizing how much you wanted him… you just couldn't afford to be hurt.
“I’m being serious- and no… I don’t” he said seriously- he was deeply regretting the persona he had been assigned with.
Anakin watched anxiously as you sat quietly, lost in thought. Eventually he had a juvenile idea (but it might just work), he pulled out his phone and went back to a text conversation he had with his best friend, Ben Kenobi, and showed you the screen.
You’ll be fine Anakin, about time you actually get your feelings in check
What do u mean?
I just mean it has been awhile since you’ve actually shown genuine interest in someone
…
Exactly.
Once you scanned those he took the phone back and scrolled further down.
Fuck Ben, I feel like i’m losing my mind I cant stop thinking abt her.
Anakin, just ask her out.
Dude, its not that simple… like she thinks I’m just a fuckboy, idk every time I try to get more serious she just brushes it off- It just sucks cause I’m the one that made this image of myself
You know I cannot lie to you, you did. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it now.
You really didn’t know what to say… he seemed really genuine. In a way you felt a small bit of joy that he had been in his head about you because he had been doing to same to you.
“Anakin… I really don’t know what to say?” You mumbled softly.
“Say you’ll give me a chance- say you feel the same-“
His vulnerability was endearing and something in you just felt he was truthful and quite frankly, you did feel the same. Anakin watched with bated breath as he scanned your face for any sign of answer.
His lips parted as he was about to ask another question when you grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep kiss.
His blue eyes widened once he realized what you had done, but soon closed them in contempt, desperately returning the passion.
You were about to break away when he pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss, his experience was definitely evident now.
Soon he stood and motioned you to wrap your legs around his waist as he took you behind the shipping containers so that you weren’t directly in the line of the door.
He held a strong hand behind your head as he pressed your back against the brick wall and began to move his kisses downwards.
“Oh Ani” you moaned as he nibbled and sucked the most sensitive parts of your neck.
He felt his dick twitch at the nickname, “Fuck, call me that again beautiful” he groaned into your neck as you raked your fingers through his sandy locks.
“Ani-“ you gasped as he pressed his muscular thigh right against your throbbing core.
“Ride it, babe” he huffed through his nose.
And ride it you did. He knew just what angles to move his leg to make it the most pleasurable for you.
You worked your clit against his tight muscles and felt your panties becoming soaked. Whimpers and pathetic mewls escaped your throat each time he tensed.
Anakin could hardly contain himself as he watched the scene in front of him unfold. The way your smaller hands pawed at his biceps, the way your cute little thighs tensed around his much larger one, your absolutely beautiful expressions- after imagining what you would look like for so long, none of his fantasies compared.
Soon his attention was pulled back to the present when he felt one of your eager hands tugging off his leather belt. Oh shit- this is really happening.
“My God Ani” you gasped once you pulled his jeans down enough to see his straining erection.
He had on basic black briefs but what wasn’t basic was his size. Of course in the past you had imagined what he might look like outside of work (or outside of clothes) but none of that could have prepared you for the reality.
“What?” he asked with a confident tone.
You halted your movements on his thigh to really focus on what you were seeing. His rock hard member throbbed in anticipation of your soft touch; a small wet patch formed around his tip. The sight mesmerized you; you couldn’t count how many times you had imagined how he would look and finally… you were about to find out.
“You can touch it, you know,” he said, tilting his head slightly.
Of course you wanted to touch it- you wanted to touch him more than anything, but suddenly you were feeling shy. What if he had better in the past? What if you weren’t good enough for his liking and he took everything back?
Anakin must have noticed your wonder and hesitation because he guided your smaller hand towards his clothed cock with a smile, “it’s alright, you don’t have to be shy”.
Once your warm palm wrapped around the thinly clothed member, Anakin sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes- his cock throbbed in your hand as you tested the waters by sliding your palm against the fabric.
When you felt you were ready, your fingers creeped up towards the elastic waistband and nimbly gripped the edge. You watched intently as every drag of your finger revealed more and more of Anakin’s tanned skin until a few wiry hairs appeared and finally his fully erect cock popped out from its confines. Anakin gasped as his cock slapped the side of your hip.
You wasted no time wrapping your hand around him and running a gentle thumb over his slit. Soon Anakin shoverd your bottoms off as well and began running his skilled fingers between your folds. He was mesmerized by you and couldn’t decide where to look; your hands pumping his long member, his hands between your shaky thighs, or your pretty face twisted in pure ecstasy.
You couldn't take it any longer, you needed to feel him- feel every vein, every groove, every pulse-
“Anakin, need you in me” you whimpered into his ear as you rested your head in the crook of his neck.
Anakin thought briefly about the possibility of security cameras catching the two of you, but he figured if they were working- they had already seen enough to know what was about to happen.
“Fuck it” he muttered before flipping your around and lining himself up with your dripping heat. In one swift movement, he entered you and moaned at the feeling of your tight, gummy walls enveloping him. He thrusted in and out of your hole with wild ferocity as he chased his long awaited high. But once you began lifting your hips to angle him deeper, he lost it.
“Fuck- Fuck!” he swore while he braced himself against the wall with one hand to regain his composure.
His thighs trembled as he reluctantly pulled out of you and flipped you around to face him; never had ANakin looked so focused- not even in the kitchen. Suddenly he slammed you back down onto his cock with a guttural moan when the back door busted open and your very frantic manager called out, “Skywalker, you back here?! We need ya back on the line”.
Anakin grit his teeth and buried his face into your neck to let out a few more grunts before clearing his throat and exclaiming, “Yea- sorry, lemme just put out my cig”.
You struggled to keep quiet as Anakin’s skilled fingers worked your clit as you bounced on his dick. When he deemed you too loud to stay discreet, he placed an uncalculated hand over your mouth in an attempt to silence you.
“Alright- just hurry it up” your manager yelled before rushing back in.
Anakin barely had time to turn his head back to you before you took one of his slender fingers into your mouth, sucking and sliding your tongue around it as you made intense eye contact.
“Ohh fuck” Anakin groaned under his breath before his beautiful blue eyes rolled back.
And with a particularly tight spasm of your core, he felt himself letting go-
“-m gonna- I’m gonna cum… shit- I’m gonna cum” he babbled as he jetted in and out of you in his final stretch.
“P-pullout? D’ya need- need me to pull out?” he whimpered in desperation- if you didn’t give an answer soon, he wouldn't be able to help but cum inside.
You nodded your head, partially expecting him to be annoyed with you, but he just nodded and quickly halted his movements and effortlessly lifted you off of him. Anakin’s eyes darted between your lower stomach, pussy, eyes and ground as if to ask where he should finish. You signaled to your stomach because that would be the easiest to clean up. Once he got your answer he almost immediately came; ropes of his warm, thick seed landed on your soft skin causing you to tense at the sensation. Anakin pumped his dick a few more times before leaning into you with labored breaths.
“Holy shit” he breathed, causing you to laugh a little.
Once his high washed over him and he stood without being dizzy he kissed you- “I’m so sorry I made a mess, I’ll clean you up with my apron”.
He searched your eyes for just a moment before saying, “I know we got cut short and I'm so sorry that I have to go back in, but you should meet me after work so we can have all of the time in the world”.
You smiled at his words and kissed him again as he cleaned up his spend.
“And next time I'll take you on a proper date… I’m sorry our first time was out back- I fully intend on making that up to you. So what'd ya say? Give me another chance?” he said with a genuine smile.
“Of course Ani- of course I will”
***
Hope that was enjoyable for I guys haha- ik I liked it ;) also sorry again for my long wait periods 😭
#anakin x reader#anakin#star wars#star wars x reader#anakin x you#anakin skywalker#anakin star wars#anakin x y/n#line cook anakin#linecook anakin#linecook!anakin#anakin is so hot#anakin modern#modern anakin skywalker#star wars modern au#sw modern au#x reader
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Earth 42, Miles Morales
summary you’re practically part of the family.
a/n none
word count ??
You placed a lid over the pot of arroz, allowing it to steam while Rio, mrs.morales, played her reggaetón. “Mija, you can leave it now it’ll be a couple minutes before it’s done for sure.” She called out, waving you towards her.
You nodded and smiled, making your way over to her. “Miles and Aaron should be back before it’s ready, thank you for helping me mija.” She smiled sweetly. Mrs. Morales was always so sweet to you, she believed you were a great influence on her son and an even better future daughter in law.
“Ah I’m not in a rush anyways, I love cooking with mi suegra” you took a seat next to her. She beamed at the name, she couldn’t wait til you and miles married, even thought that would be years from now since you both are still teens.
Just as she was about to get up to finish laundry, the front door open and a sweet familiar voice called out. “Mamí we’re home!” Miles.
Rio walked over to greet her son with a warm hug and a side hug to uncle Aaron. Miles walked over to you with open arms as Aaron and Rio walked to a back room. “Hola mi hermosa” he rolled his r’s and his voice was deeper, but you got up to give him a big hug anyways. “How was it today?” You asked, a smile across your lips.
You knew who miles was, even after a big fight when you found out, you both came to an agreement. The terms being he made it home safe every night, No killing innocent people, and he’d text, call or tell you in person about every job he worked.
“It was smooth actually, no fighting, no ambushes just an honest transaction.” He huffed, his hands slowly sliding off your waist before falling back into the chair.
You just hummed as you went to check on the rice once more, peeking into the room and seeing Aaron slide Rio some cash, to which she reluctantly accepted after he told her to take care of his nephew.
You went back to minding your own business, watching miles walk to his room to change. After a good 10 mins, the rice was finally done “Food is ready!” You called out. Rio and Aaron walked to the kitchen. “Smells good as hell” Aaron laughed, causing rio to laugh along. “All cause’ of Y/N! I think she’d make a perfect nuera para mi” she winked at you, and you smiled.
“You all can sit down I already started serving plates.” You hummed. It was Arroz con gandules y bife, nothing too special. You set their plates down before looking around, noticing miles was still not back.
You turned to Aaron with a puzzled face ; “did he eat at all today?” The man shook his head before gesturing for you to go after him. You huffed before marching towards his room. “Get on his ah mija!” Rio jokingly called out causing a laughter.
You knocked lightly before opening the door. It was dark, and all you could see was clothes all over the place and his silhouette laying on the bed. “What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to come in anyways?” miles joked, his voice strained.
“Miles are you alright?” You walked up to his bed, sitting next to his lap. “Yeah I’m just tired, really sleep for some reason.” He yawned mid way through his sentence, his shirtless chest rising and falling.
You placed a hand on his leg, patting it; “Can you eat something before you pass out then? Uncle Aaron said you haven’t eaten, and I cooked for you.” Your voice laced with concern and a hint of pleading.
It wasn’t all too uncommon for miles to forget to eat, his job took up a lot of his time. “Yeah, yeah.” He sat up, rubbing his eyes before placing a hand around your waist. He pulled you with one hand and another lifted your chin and placed a kiss on your lips.
“I knew the food smelt too good for it to be my moms cooking.” He joked, causing giggles to erupt from the both of you.
#miles morales#miles morales x reader#miles morales prowler#prowler!miles#prowler!miles x reader#earth 42#into the spider verse#across the spiderverse#spider verse
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bluecollar!reiner headcannons
word count: 725 [ 2 min 40 sec read] | ✪ content warnings: smut, kitchen sex, blue collar men :/ but a good one, p in v sex in general, fingering.. uhhh
bluecollar!reiner x black!reader / constructionworker!reiner x black!reader
✭ you and your blonde-headed personal bob the builder
bluecollar!reiner who does construction and pools.
bluecollar!reiner who sleeps like a LOG. like, has rolled over ontop of you on multiple instances and it’s taken having to literally slap him to wake him up.
bluecollar!reiner who absolutely throws down at cookouts and get togethers, you and your friends and family are just so good in the kitchen and babyboy needs to EAT.
bluecollar!reiner who works so hard because his favorite view of you is on a beach, or poolside at a fancy resort taking his cock in a risky, barely covered blind spot.
bluecollar!reiner who, 8/10 times cannot sleep without your manicured fingers scrubbing at his scalp or smooth palms scanning over his body and rubbing soothing circles.
bluecollar!reiner who sometimes brings you small bouquets if the landscape of the construction site he’s on has some pretty ones for the taking.
bluecollar!reiner who saved the petals from those flowers and proposed to you surrounded by them.
bluecollar!reiner who walks so hard for literally no reason. :/ like, he comes home late after pushing through the end of his customers pool build and i stg you think the rapture is occurring. it took you a few months of dating to get used to the fe-fi-fo-fum ass walking he does but even sometimes he still manages to wake you up.
reiner finally emerges in the bedroom after putting away his lunch box and heavy work boots to see his poor poor fiancé glaring at him from underneath a pillow.
“i woke ya’ didn’t i?”
“yes mister braun. you did.😐”
bluecollar!reiner who does that thing in the gym where he uses you as a weight for his pull ups sometimes. your lock screen is a photo of you smiling as reiner is doing a pull-up and you can see his abs on full display overhead.
bluecollar!reiner who looks forward to the massages you give him every night, working out the knots in his shoulder blades, soothing the aches in his biceps..
bluecollar!reiner who thanks you for the massages by doing you one better:
the plat plat plat of his dick sliding in and out of you resonates through the room, and your back is arching off the wall. reiner was supposed to be carrying you back to bed after a show and a massage on the couch, but here you are only halfway down the hall and coating his dick in cream.
“please please kiss me” you plead, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten and swell.
he huffs a little and between your deep kisses you can feel the stubble of his beard.
“reiiiii ‘m gonna cummmm” you whine, looking at him with that hazy glint in your eyes as you release on him.
“good girl, so so good for me doll.”
bluecollar!reiner who’s socials are empty besides a few photos of you or you and him and MAYBE a selfie.
bluecollar!reiner who you send video rants to throughout the day to keep him company while he works. he responds with videos of his own if he can.
you open the video reiner sent twenty minutes ago.
he’s propped his phone up on the back of his truck, his work shirt is absolutely covered in wet cement so as he’s responding to whatever you said in your previous video, he’s taking off his shirt and putting on a new one.
“.. oh yeah and lunch was amazing. not burnt or overcooked. thank you princess.”
his video ends after a quick wink and pop of his gum. meanwhile, you’re thinking about the way reiner was far from concerned about his lunch while you were trying to make it. he had you bent over the counter, knuckle deep in your cunt and tongue circling your clit. reiner wasn’t focused on anything besides the way your wetness was dripping down his arm, but you’re busy struggling to keep tell him about the food on the stove.
“r-rei baby.. i have- fuck.. i have your lunch for t-tomorrow- ah.. on the stoveee.”
“uh-huh.. god this pussy is so fucking delicious.” he says, only coming up for air for a brief second and continuing to ravage you.
bluecollar!reiner who has a photo of you on the dashboard of his work truck.
bluecollar!reiner who loves letting you ride him slow while he talks over the plans and spreadsheets for the next big project he has.
bluecollar!reiner who loves you to the moon and back and will build anything for you.
#aot au#reiner smut#aot reiner#reiner brainrot#reiner x y/n#reiner headcanons#reiner imagine#reiner imagines#attack on titan reiner#reiner fluff#reiner x you#reiner x reader#reiner x black reader#reiner braun#he’s mine#he’s so sweet#reiner braun x reader
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HOW I GOT INTO THE VOID STATE !
So here's what I did to get into the void
I gave myself some time...I took a week off from my school , I took a break from Tumblr !!
I made a routine for myself and Here it is :
I Don't gave a fuck to my failed attempts and told myself failure don't exist in my reality! I worked on myself for a week and half
I decided to affirm robotically and sometym with knowing for 10-20 mins every hour and I vaunted every night before going to sleep for 30 mins , I listened to @lotusmi ( her mirage sub since it contains DMT Frequency ) and beauty crystallized's void subliminal on loop overnight and slept while Affirming in head and in the daytime also when I was free ..I started to do mediation by Mary Kate daily in the morning and at night before going to sleep and did some stretching excercise for 10-15 mins to make myself feel good ( excercising improves ur brain health and makes u feel good all dag long by releasing feeling good hormones ) .... whenever any doubt comes in my head I just say "Fuckkk off! It's done , I'm so freaking happy ( Distraction technique by @remcycl333 ) and sometimes I would open my notes app and script about my void concept
I affirmed and listened to subs as much as I could...and few weeks ago I did the 10k challenge bef starting my routine and I think that also really helped me maybe!
I did this for a week and half ig , for the first three days I affirmed fory sc and then for the rest of the days I affirmed for vc
Ig I Explained too much 💀
HERE'S A SIMPLIFIED VERSION :
Staring from the morning
1. Do Mary Kate's manifesting mediation THIS ONE after that do some stretching exercises if u want ( not necessary tho )
2. Choose one Affirmation of ur liking and Affirm that every hour for 20 mins
3. During the day listen to a void subliminal as much as u can and script in ur notes app if u want
3. Now bef going to sleep vaunt about the void for atleast 30 mins ( I'll recommend to search for a void vaunt and take a ss of that and read that with feeling )
4. Do THIS mediation bef going to bed
5. Put on a void sub and and sleep while Affirming in ur head
6. REPEAT THE SAME FOR 7 DAYS!
AND I ALSO DID SOME EFT TAPPING EXCERCISE IN THE MORNING AFTER WAKING UP BUT I ONLY DID THAT FOR FEW MORNINGS , IF U WANT THEN U CAN ALSO DO THIS ...FOR THAT HAVE A LOOK TO THIS POST BY @asteriaas-stuffs → THIS ONE
Don't acknowledge ur negative thoughts coz they don't hold any power!! And lastly DELETE TUMBLR take a ss of this and save those videos after that just delete it
Don't waste ur time on Tumblr for God sake , watch ur fav movies , listen to ur fav music , go out for a walk , eat ur fav food , do whatever makes u feel happy genuinely for this whole week .
U can consider it as a VOID CHALLENGE
GOOD LUCK LOVIEESSS <33 Do keep me updated about how it goes 💗
#void challenge#void state success story#void state#void vaunt#void#success story#loass#law of assumption
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Takeout And Makeout
word count: 850 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.
pairing: University!AU Oikawa x inexperienced chubby!Reader
genre: suggestive(?) fluff, new relationship
warnings: eh, none really, some smoochin
synopsis: you’re a TA and Oikawa comes to visit you in the office late at night (okay, maybe not late at night but y’all are alone and it’s dark outside) - he enjoys making you flustered
Your shoulders cracked satisfyingly as you stretched your arms above your head. It was past 8 and the professors had gone home for the night - not before leaving you, their TA, with plenty of things to finish up before you could head back to your dorm yourself. Muttering under your breath, you put on some nondescript background music and turned the page of a paper you had to proofread.
As you wouldn't get home before 10 or 11, you contemplated having food delivered and tapped around on your phone trying to find an enticing menu.
Your concentration really hadn’t lasted long. Wow.
But, unable to focus, you abandoned even the food search and went through your latest messages with Tooru. How you had to blow him off, because you were stuck in your professor's office and how adorably gloomy his responses had been. You smiled at the pouting selfie he sent last. Much to your dismay you hadn't seen him in person for a couple of days and you stared off into space for a moment, letting your last meeting pass before your inner eye. The setting sun, the cicadas, his confession, the hug and the kiss. It had been replaying in your head over and over. For weeks he had pretended to need your tutoring before he finally worked up the courage to ask you out. You felt giddy all over again at the thought.
A quiet knock burst your bubble and you went to unlock the office door.
"Good evening, y/n-chan.", Tooru said with his dazzling smile.
"Hey! What are you doing here?", you asked, a little squeaky from excitement to see him.
He held up a delicious smelling bag and you beamed in appreciation.
"Thank you."
You almost leaped aside in your eagerness to let him in and he looked around the office, setting the food down in the middle of the large table.
After he took off his jacket, he turned to face you.
“Don’t forget to tip the delivery person.”
He leaned forward with an expectant grin and after shaking your head at his cheesiness, you gave him a peck on the cheek. For a moment he hesitated, then closed the gap between you two and snaked his arms around your waist.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Tooru pulled you close and had obviously no intention of letting go as he nuzzled into your neck, squeezing your soft hips ever so slightly. You had no idea how he managed to make his hugs feel so sweet yet … sensual.
"Kiss me.", you sighed quietly, hoping immediately he didn't hear it. Even though you were a year older, he had far more experience in dating than you.
But Tooru pulled away a bit and pressed his lips to your forehead, sending a warm shiver down your spine. He looked in your eyes, a taunting smile playing around the corners of his mouth.
Of course he knew what you had actually meant. It was obvious from the way he cocked his brow so infuriatingly self-assured.
When you didn't say anything but your puppy eyes grew bigger, he decided to tease.
"Was that not what you wanted, y/n-chan?", he asked, his voice smooth and low.
You took a silent breath, feeling rather stupid when you mumbled, "My lips."
He leaned down and you caught your breath, but he only turned his head a bit to the side as if to hear better.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."
You squirmed a little in his arms, making him chuckle but he kept eye contact, his gaze burning on your skin.
"Kiss my lips.", you said, still quietly but at least stronger than before.
"Yes… Senpai.", he purred and leaned down again. His lips only brushed yours at first, probably testing to see if you really were fine with it, then he added more pressure, more breath, more… hands. He squeezed your hips again - a new favorite pastime of his - before fully enclosing you in his strong arms, keeping you trapped between him and the table. Your head was spinning but it just felt too good to stop. Your friends had told you that when a kiss was really good, you'd feel drunk. The rational part of your brain explained it with the (terribly unromantic) probable occurrence of oxygen deficiency, but right now all you cared about was him. His lips, his hands, his lean muscular body pressed against your plush curves, your fingers developing a life of their own and sliding up to the back of his neck, needing to feel him more.
Once you both ran out of breath, you just rested your foreheads against each other, both grinning like idiots in your lightheadedness.
His lips were pink and a little swollen and you were tempted to pull him in again, but he laced your fingers with his and kissed the tip of your nose.
"We should eat before it gets cold."
You nodded and smiled when he gave you one more sweet kiss, then pulled up a chair for you to sit.
#oikawa x chubby reader#haikyuu x chubby reader#oikawa x reader#haikyuu x reader#oikawa fluff#hq oikawa#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa tooru#oikawa tōru#oikawa torū#chubby reader#hq fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x curvy reader
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How would the other pastas/proxies react if Toby died during a mission?
Writing on my phone in the car 10 mins before my shift forgive me… finished during my lunch break…
Tim would try really really fucking hard to pretend he doesn’t care all that much. He’s already lost plenty of friends/colleagues (directly or indirectly) to the operator and slenderman, and he always treated Toby like he was a pain in the ass, but like. Him and Brian took Toby in when he was just 17-18, he tried to make him a better man, the two of them have done abhorrent shit together and had to return to the cabin like nothing happened. He’d cry, spend long hours thinking about Toby, thinking about how much of a dick he was to the kid. But he’s strong . Kinda
Brian wouldn’t try to pretend he doesn’t care, although he is in a very similar boat to Tim. Took him in, guided him, hurt him - he would probably be the one to set up a grave of some sort for Toby, whether or not they even have his body to bury. The rest of them wouldn’t be able to do it
It’s possible that Kate wouldn’t even find out for a long fucking while. But she would cry, and mourn, and she would start going back to the cabin and she would sleep in the attic (Toby’s room) and it would be shitty. Toby was the only proxy to treat her like a person and they were both outcasts in their own right, both being the closest to perfect vessels slenderman/the operator could get . So it would suck ass.
I think Natalie would just die too. Ok not really but he was the first person to really just. Take care of her. And she really trusted that he would never ever leave her, not like everyone else . She would be angry, pissed beyond belief and she would cry and scream and throw around any of the gifts he’s ever gotten her and smash some shit he’s made her - and it wouldn’t be fair, and she would regret it, and hopefully someone would be there to pull her back before she legitimately fucks it all up, but she can’t get rid of that anger. Like Kate, she would go to the cabin. Being there too long gets her really bad slender sickness, she’s not immune like the others, but she doesn’t really care. Everything hurt so bad anyway, the screaming and crying already brought her nausea and migraines. Her and Kate would just silently lounge around his bedroom for hours everyday. Natalie is a tattoo artist with little to no tattoos bc commitment issues is a big thing for her, but she would get a little something to honor Toby
Jack would mourn . Toby used to bring flowers to his mom for Mother’s Day, because Jack couldn’t bare to be in a 10 mile radius of his family. He would try to host something for people, just invite them over and make some food and try to talk and have comfort. Only Natalie and Nina would come by choice, not because the rest don’t care but it’s just something they can’t handle to do. Kate might get dragged along. It would be painful and uncomfortable and probably just result in an argument of sorts, depending on how far along Natalie is in the grieving process . He would visit the grave Brian made for toby quite often.
Nina would be constantly crying, all the time. She’s had shitty men after shitty men in her life, the only good guys she’s had were her father and brother and she went ahead and left them behind to go seek out Jeff - but Toby was good(to a point, obviously). He was rough around the edges but he was protective, he took care of her, he defended her even if she didn’t deserve it. She and Natalie would probably have a few intense arguments because they’re two sides of the same coin in their grieving , with Natalie having constant explosive anger and Nina having long, drawn out grieving and sobbing. It would be a bit much for both of them. She would mope around her apartment for a long while.
BEN would also be pretty sad, but not nearly as much as the rest. He would talk it out with Jeff but wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t mourn , would just keep going. Jeff wouldn’t give a shit, would say it was bound to happen and to move on
Ann and Lulu would be pretty bummed out too, but Ann moves on pretty quickly. For Ann it’s more so a sad “Aw but he was fun”… lulu is too lost in her own head to spend too much time on it, but she’s undeniably sad when she’s reminded
Sally would also be sad, but similarly to BEN, she would move on. Cry to Jane about it and cope. Jane would think it’s sad, but she wouldn’t dwell on it either - she wasn’t close to him, she only knew him in passing whenever Sally got lost in the forest.
Liu doesn’t know Toby well so he wouldn’t think much, but Nina would cry to Liu about it a lot and it would be pretty depressing for him too. Just by watching how it affects Nina
#creepypasta#ticci toby#toby rogers#Masky#hoody#creeped#clockwork#natalie oullette#natalie ouellette#Nina the killer#Kate the chaser#I don’t think I wanna tag everyone I’m lazy#asks
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𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔? ❝𝑦𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑒𝑟❞
T.W : Stalking, Yandere themes, Disturbing behavior, grammar mistake Summery : It's normal for a person to kill someone for love....right?
Walking down the street with the slightly cold air brushing up your skin you felt like something or somebody is watching you, it was weird because you weren't a famous person or even a rich person, you were just simple person that knows how to minds it's own business...so why were you being watch? or perhaps this is hallucination? whatever it is without thinking twice you hurried your footsteps and about 10 min later you were at your house, taking a deep breathe you sigh in relief 'What was that?' A thought arose in your mind but shrugging it off you went to the kitchen and to prepare your dinner besides you have other things to worry about.
Days went like this but the feeling got worse and worse it was awful and terrifying at the same time but without any evidence you can't tell the police about this.
sighing in frustration you ran your hand through your hair thinking of a solution....maybe you are going insane...
While you were panicking about your sanity someone was enjoying your beauty 'how can someone be this perfect, even when they are sad?' Tripping into his delusion Ethan smiled from ear to ear his eyes never leaving you out of his sight 'Can't wait to make you mine' His thoughts echoed in his mind as he took another picture from his expensive camera that he had purchased just to get your clear pictures.
The Next Day..
''Do you think I'm going insane?'' you asked your friend who was sitting beside you ''No? Why would you say that?'' he replied his ocean blue eyes never leaving the book ''Well recently I feel like somebody is watching me'' you replied placing your pen down and looking at him ''It's probably nothing'' he paused before looking at you and continuing ''Don't take to much stress'' he patted your shoulder and went back to reading.
''Are you sure....Ethan?''
''A zillion percent''
"But- what if someone is actually following or watching me then?" you said tapping your foot lightly under the desk in nervousness "Nothing will happen Y/n, Relax or you'll be sick if you take so much stress" Ethan's voice matched his persona perfectly. calm and soothing. You nodded going back to work but somewhere in your heart you knew that something is really wrong
Few Weeks Later
You opened your eyes adjusting to the light around you ''Well seems like you're awake'' a familiar voice said, it sounded close you looked around and saw a men in all black he removed his mask and you couldn't believe it.
The same ocean blue eyes and his rosy skin that was highlighted by his raven hair he was Ethan...So Ethan was your stalker along? you felt heartbroken but alas fail to do anything because of the heavy chains around your arms and legs.
''I'll bring you some food alright?'' he paused ''you must be hungry? am I right?'' he smiled before leaving, you looked around the room for an escape but found nothing...so are you already giving up?...No- not anytime soon you must find something
Life will surely give a chance and you mustn't lose it...And with that you began to act calm knowing that panicking will only make things worse...'Think Y/n...Think' you thought taking a deep breathe but suddenly the metal door clicked open and you saw him ''Food is ready~'' he hummed entering the room placing the food infront of you
''Say Ahh~'' he brought the spoon near your mouth, you hesitantly opened your mouth putting up the act that you love him too...but how long?...how long will take for this act to end? or you might just end up falling for him? after all It's normal for a person to kill someone for love....right?
#yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere x reader#yandere boyfriend#yandere x darling#yandere male#soft yandere#tw yandere#yan blog#yancore#yandere best friend#yandere scenarios#yandere stories#yandere insert#yandere blog
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Sypnosis: accompanying your boyfriend to the gym!
TW:fluff, crack(?), not proofread, suggestive, no use of y/n, OOC, modern au, english is not my first language
Characters: Childe x Fem!reader
Ed sheeran
(NAME)
ANSWER PLS
IM CUMMING TO YOUR HOUSE
haha get it
ANYWAY BE READY 😈
delivered 10 mins ago
You were sprawled out in bed, your limbs practically dislocated from your body because of how spread out they were. You heard the notification from your phone, however you were too tired to answer it. Besides, your alarm didn't ring so you had the great idea of spending the day in bed all day. So, you did the thing any normal person would do, falling asleep again. It was just going to be a small nap anyway.
Meanwhile, a very familiar Ed Sheeran wannabe was at your door. He fumbled with the extra keys for your apartment that you gave him (which he totally didn't beg for). He finally opened the door, walking into the house. He immediately ran to the bedroom to see you, only to see you sound asleep. Feeling slightly bad, he slowly closed the door to your bedroom and went to your kitchen. As the good boyfriend he is, he decides to make breakfast for you! How sweet! (You would've slapped him hard if you woke up now).
He looked through your cabinets, mumbling to himself as there was nothing that was healthy, but worked with what he had anyway.
After finishing making breakfast, he wiped a non existent sweat off his brow, grinning to himself. He put all the food in a tray and began walking to your room. Placing the tray on your bedside table, he thought of a way to wake you up. He didn't feel like using that many methods, until thinking of a devious idea. He would probably come out looking like purple guy from fnaf from the amount of bruises he'll get from you, but it was the quickest way he could think of on the top of his head.
Searching the Samsung homecoming alarm sound on YouTube, he blasted it on full volume as he watched you wake up with a cold sweat, your eyes filling with dread.
"What the actual fu- CHILDE?!" You yelled, instinctively kicking him in the arm. He held onto it in pain, wincing at the amount of force you put in to kick him.
"For someone who doesn't like to work out, your hits hurt like hell," he sweat dropped, looking at you in some kind of awe, yet also in fear.
"You scared me!" "I did not!" "Yes you did!" You both accused each other.
"I sent you a message like twenty minutes ago that I was gonna come, didn't you see it?!" He argued back as you took your phone and frantically went through your messages as your mouth formed an 'o'.
"Well, I was sleeping!" You retorted back.
"WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK SLEEPS TILL 10 AM?!"
"I DO DUMBASS!" You held onto your throat as you started coughing from yelling too loud. You cut the conversation short and went to the bathroom, coughing your life out on the sink. Once it downed down, you brushed your teeth and went back into your bedroom, your voice too hoarse to continue arguing, luckily he understood.
You found the tray of breakfast that he made for you and placed it on your lap, slightly grateful for his actions. You held your spoon and ate agonizingly slowly just to annoy him, but he took your spoon away, and started feeding you himself. You couldn't really bring yourself to argue so you just accepted the not asked for princess treatment.
"So," you said while eating, "why did you come all the way here?"
"Can't a boyfriend visit his wonderful girlfriend without any reason?" He exaggerated. You didn't look amused in the slightest. He cleared his throat as he prepared to say his words.
"Wanna go to the gy-" "No." You finished his sentence.
"Why not??"
"Because I don't want to," you replied back.
He thought for a moment as an imaginary light bulb lit up in his head.
"I'll buy you (favorite food) today!"
As much as you don't want to go to the gym, you couldn't really turn down the offer, so you nodded. His face lit up to a smile as you got up from your bed and looked for an outfit to change in. He went out of the room to let you change, even if he has seen you naked many times before. He picked up his duffel bag that he left by the front door and walked to your bedroom door and placed it there. He waited for a few minutes before you walked out of your room. You placed a few things of yours in his bag like extra clothes, deodorant, a yoga mat and a towel.
You went passed him and got to fill your water bottle with ice and water before putting it in your bag. Taking your phone, you were ready to go.
Finally reaching your destination, you both walked out of the parking area and into the gymnasium. You went to your won separate activities as he did and laid out your yoga mat. You got on Pinterest and went to your boards to look at the few stretches and exercises you saved. You put on your headphones and go on your Spotify playlist.
It was a weird playlist, essentially since it was a shared one. On one hand, you have Childe's, which were just phonk songs, some that you knew and others that you never heard of. While on the other hand, was (favorite musice genre), which was yours. You could choose another playlist, but you didn't want to go through the extra hassle.
You started to do your stretches, paying attention to every step of everything. Luckily, most of them were simple enough for you to finish. Childe's phonk songs kind of ruined the vibe, but your songs made up for it. Most of the exercises were small, so you could finish your whole board in around an hour and thirty minutes. You took a glance at Childe, only to deadpan as you saw that he completed majority of the machines. You figured that you could do some light running on the treadmill and weight lifting, since you were done with the exercises from Pinterest.
As you went on the treadmill, you heard Childe whistle from behind you.
"Nice ass darling," he said light heartedly. You couldn't really help but laugh a little before saying thanks.
You continued working out, only lifting a few small weights. Drinking a bit of water, you decided that you were done for the day. You looked at Childe to see him doing some stretches and walked up to him.
"What are you doing?" You asked. You thought he was done with everything.
"After workout exercises," he said with a stupid grin on his face. You wanted him to wipe it right off his stupid face, but you suppose you could wait until you were both in bed.
He got off from doing sit ups and got in a position to do push ups as he smiled at you, obviously going to ask for a favour. You rolled your eyes at how obvious he was, but gave in anyway.
"What do you need help with?" You asked, taking your phone in hand.
"Count my push ups for me, pretty please darling?"
You hummed. Taking your phone and water bottle in hand, you went over to his back and sat on it. You slightly grinded on his muscular back, giggling to yourself as he looked at you.
You suddenly got an idea in mind. You went to your camera app and started to record.
"Can I ask a favour?" You looked at him as he nodded, counting the pushups in your head for now.
"Can you say my name between every pushup you do? I want to make a video." He raised his eyebrow at your words but still did it for you. You counted the push ups still, smirking to yourself as you created the perfect video for yourself.
After you counted till fifty, he stopped doing his pushups. He took the towel that you gave him and wiped the sweat off of his body.
"What was the video for princess?" He asked as you looked at him like you were waiting for him to.
"Free whimpering audio," you said simply. His eyes slightly widened at how blunt you were, but he quickly returned to his original self.
"You could've just asked darling! We can make one in-" you cut him off by putting your water bottle in his mouth. He drank a little from it before taking it away from his mouth and bringing you in for a hug. He kissed your cheek but you swatted him away because he was sweaty (even though you were too). Some people cringed in disgust at the two of you while others cooed at your 'young love'.
Idk how to do dialogue
#reader insert#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin imagines#x reader#childe#childe x reader#tartaglia#tartaglia x reader#ajax#ajax x reader#fem reader
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Today was Baby Poldine’s first day of school ! The idea for now is just to get her used to being in a narrow enclosed area without getting stressed, and pet her everywhere while she’s in there to desensitise her (especially her head & legs), so she can start wearing a halter next month.
People who were here in 2019 might remember that this simple gentle curriculum didn’t work very well with Baby Pampe. No amount of nothing happening while stuck in a small enclosed area ever made Pampe accept the concept of small enclosed area. It just made her more determined to escape. One of my posts about this ended with:
This didn’t make me worry too much about Poldine’s education, because by now I’ve accepted that you can’t use Pampérigouste as an indication of how llamas in general behave. Getting Poldine to enter the chute was incredibly easy in comparison to her mum! She saw that her hay net was here and trustingly went up to it—while Pampe was standing outside the corral like
Shhhh.
Poldine was quite stressed in the beginning, her little legs were shaking and she folded herself up like a caterpillar trying to find an exit—
—but at no point did it occur to her to jump over any fences, because that’s wrong. Once she stopped squirming I gave her a treat and then petted her for a bit. She was very tense, poor thing, and making anxious little hums.
It’s raining and you’re soggy and smell like wet goat. This isn’t fun for either of us.
She was clearly wondering what horrible thing was about to happen to her, and then I opened the chute and let her back up and out of it and she was looking around like “That’s it...?” She even got distracted from her initial project to get the hell away from here, when she realised her breakfast was still there. (Baby Pampe never would have let food distract her from freedom.)
To congratulate her for remaining in the corral a couple more minutes than she strictly had to, she got an extra clementine peel that was meant for Pirlouit.
Still, she ran to her mum as soon as she was out of the corral and tried to nurse for comfort. The chute was a little bit scary. (And Pampe was like no, we’ve got hay right here, are you kidding me.)
Pampoldine took the rebuff philosophically. She didn’t look very traumatised by llama school, unlike Pampe who was extra annoying and elopey on days when she had to spend 5 min in the chute. Baby Poldine looked almost proud of herself !
Also unlike Pampe who sulked and avoided me for a while after every lesson, Poldine followed me when I went to give my last clementine peeling to Pirlouit, and tried to argue that she was more deserving of it.
And finally, when I looked back on my way home I saw that all the animals were outside the corral finishing the hay, except Poldine who had gone back inside all by herself and was curiously examining the chute she was stuck in 10 min before, like “what was that about”
So, a very positive first lesson! Poldine was such a good girl, and the drastic contrast with 2019 is another confirmation of what all of us already suspected (Pampe is Pampe.)
#crawling along#then again pampe becomes a model llama when she has an opportunity to gaslight me in front of strangers so it's okay#like when the shearer came and was like ''but what were you talking about this is the most cooperative llama in the world''#me: :l#(this post is dedicated to the anon who said poldine was their favourite along with pandolf because they're both sweethearts!#i'm happy to say she lived up to your expectations today)
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The Han Family | Min Yoongi
Summary: You and Yoongi were together during high school. He was only a year older than you, but that never mattered to you. You both fit in perfectly; you had the cheerfulness and positivity that Yoongi lacked, and he had the patience and seriousness that you lacked. You were together until Yoongi entered his second year of college, both of you decided to end on good terms. You never stopped loving him, and deep down you thought he hadn't completely forgotten you either. Despite keeping that deep love that you were sure you would never get over, you decided to go on with your life, seeing more people, having more casual loves, until the arrival of Jumyeon, the Han's eldest son, and the person who would end up signing your death sentence. It had been more than 10 years since you last saw Yoongi, and meeting him again because of your father-in-law's murder was definitely not the way you expected to see him again. wc: 2.9k
You were upset, no, probably upset would be putting it mildly, you were furious. You couldn't believe that your boyfriend, the one you wasted four fucking years of your life for, was cheating on you for over two years, and worse, with his best friend, that same girl he practically forced you to meet because he wanted his girlfriend and best friend to be close. At least his "friend" had the basic human decency to confess to you that she was messing with him for years.
"I picked your favorite restaurant, I had a hard time making a reservation" Jumyeon said, smiling at you as cheerfully as possible. You almost grimaced, but you tried to control yourself, you were supposed to be a mature woman, for god's sake, you were almost 30, you should be able to have control over yourself.
"Thank you, that's a very nice gesture" you murmured, drinking all the wine in your glass. This didn't even make it into the top 10 of your favorite restaurants. You hated the way they cooked their meat, and you knew the owner in person (who was close friends with Jumyeon), it wasn't much better than their supposedly quality food.
You looked at the large window next to you. The only thing worthwhile about this place was the view of the Han River. It was a sight worth seeing.
"I already placed the order, so all we have left to do is wait" he pulled out his phone for a second, but put it away as quickly as he took it. You assumed she was his mistress, or should you say "friend"?
"Okay" you leaned forward, resting your head on your hands. You wanted to wait for the right moment to tell him, as gently as possible, to go fuck himself.
You listened to him ramble on about his job for what seemed like hours. You had never cared about his work, but at least you heard him, you had the basic respect for him that couples should have. Now that he had disrespected you in such a way, why listen to his complaints? You owed him nothing, no more.
"Oh, thanks for the food," your boyfriend said in a cheerful tone.
Only then did you pay attention to what was in front of you. The waiter lifted the plate cover carefully, looking at both of you at the same time. He was probably a hopeless romantic.
Unlike him, you just felt nauseous enough to make you lean forward. This man seriously sucked.
"Y/N" he approached you, pulling a red velvet box out of his pocket. "These years by your side have been the happiest of my life" If he was so happy, why did he cheat on you? "I knew you would be the love of my life the moment I saw you", and that's why he was so eager for you to change to his liking instead of letting you be yourself, "and I couldn't have been more right, because, honestly, I can't see a future where you're not" he sank to one knee, bringing out a ring that looked way too ostentatious. You wanted to throw it in his face. "And I know deep down you feel the same way I do, so please do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world. Marry me."
You stared at him, clenching your fists so tightly that your palms were starting to hurt. You turned to look at the dessert the waiter had camouflaged with the plate cover. A big "Will you marry me?" was written in the center.
And suddenly, your immature side came out. You could no longer contain your urge to punch this jerk.
"Marry you?" you muttered, taking the small cake with which he tried to propose to you. You smiled almost helplessly. "Did you seriously just ask me that?".
Jumyeon laughed, standing up from the floor and looking at you with a shit-eating grin.
"Well, I know you'll say yes, but I thought that-".
You didn't let him continue, you didn't want to keep hearing his voice, so you did the first thing that popped into your head. You threw the dessert in his face and scrubbed it until there was nothing left. And, my god, it felt so satisfying.
"How can you ask me that after spending the afternoon with your so-called friend?" you growled, leaving the plate of cake on the table. "Are you so unmanly that you need to play with two women at once!?".
You ignored the murmurs from the audience, you didn't want to draw their attention, but you were too upset to speak softly, and he was the one who decided to do this in a public place.
"What? Is your brain not capable of coming up with excuses in such a short time?" you swept him with your eyes, feeling disgusted. "Never mind, I have no interest in listening to your lies anymore anyway."
You grabbed your purse and pulled out your wallet, throwing a few bills in his face, "So you can pay the bill."
And you left, ignoring his screams and insults.
And, for the first time in years, you felt free.
You smiled big as you approached the elevator, and when you came within shouting distance of excitement, a guy a little taller than you knocked you to the floor.
You complained quietly, taking the hand he offered you, but not seeing his face. You were too happy to complain to him.
"Sorry, I didn't look where I was walking" you gave a little bow, ready to leave. Until you felt a hand stop on your wrist.
"Y/N?"
For the first time since you collided you noticed the man standing in front of you, and shit, how you wished you hadn't crossed paths with him just then.
"Yoongi" you muttered, feeling your throat dry. He looked even more beautiful than the last time you saw him.
"You look... different" he said softly, letting go of your wrist, but not taking his gaze away from you.
"You too" you tried to smile, but you felt too uncomfortable to do so.You were embarrassed for Yoongi to see you like this. "You're back to black" you hastened to say, pointing to his hair.
It looked much longer and shinier than the last time you saw it, and it fit him like a glove. If his intention was to make women like you want to tangle their fingers in it, he had more than succeeded.
"And you cut it" he moved his hand up to your mane. Your hair reached only a few inches below your chin, a far cry from the long, unruly style you had when you were still his girlfriend and you swore to him that you would never cut it because it was your most prized possession.
Now you feel even sillier.
"I wanted to try a new style" you nodded quickly, fiddling with the strap of your purse.You were back to feeling like a stupid teenager incapable of talking to the boy she likes. To a certain extent it was true. You were never able to get over Yoongi, you don't think you ever will at some point."But I didn't like it as much as I thought I would" you sighed, tightening the strap on your bag.
"You-?"
"Chaeyoung!" your now ex-boyfriend shouted as he ran in the direction of you and Yoongi. It didn't escape your notice that before he noticed Yoongi's presence, he was coming over annoyed enough to slap you. You saw his hand clenched tightly."What the hell was that ruckus earlier, do you know how many cameras were in the place, how many important people were there?".
"Well, maybe you should have thought your proposal through better" for a moment you completely forgot that it wasn't just the two of you in the hallway, but you didn't care.That son of a bitch deserved someone to put him in his place, and you wanted so badly to be that person yourself. "Or to have fucking zipped your pants when it belonged, or am I wrong? Because if so, say so to me and Minah for that matter, because she feels the same way I do too."
You watched as he fixed his gel-covered hair, turning away for a second to catch his breath."It was an accident, understand? It's not how she painted it."
"An accident over two years old? Can you explain to me how that works? Did you just happen to fall on her and coincidentally your penis went into her because you both happened to be unclothed in the same fucking hotel room?" you laughed listlessly, crossing your arms, "Don't you dare think I'm stupid enough to turn blind eyes to something that's been going on for years."
Yoongi, who had been silent until that moment, cleared his throat, moving forward to stand beside you. You took a breath, trying to maintain your composure in front of him. It was quite a difficult task.
"Are you Han Jumyeon by any chance?" he muttered in a monotone voice staring at your ex-boyfriend. It came to scare you a bit how cold his gaze seemed. Still you thought he was attractive.Very attractive.
"Yes" he looked at Yoongi from head to toe, he looked a little confused, but he was used to that kind of question. He was one of the most well-known businessmen in South Korea, he was in the news quite a bit, so it wasn't strange that he knew him. "Who are you?"
"Officer Min Yoongi" he pulled out his badge from his shirt pocket, "I am one of the people in charge of the investigation of Mr. Han's death, I need both you and your..." his gaze paused for a moment on you before turning back to Jumyeon, "ex-girlfriend come to the police station so I can question you."
"Did you say death?" you looked at Yoongi and then at Jumyeon, covering your mouth with your hand. You wished the worst for that... man, if that's what you could call him, but that didn't mean you wished his father had died in whatever circumstance. If Yoongi was involved in this, it meant it wasn't from natural causes.
"What are you talking about? My father died? When? How?" he brought his hands to his hair, tugging on it lightly. "You said you were an officer, didn't you? So that means it wasn't an accident?"
You wondered internally if Yoongi saw the same twisted smile you saw.
You saw how he nodded slowly, his impassive gaze stopping on Jumyeon. He didn't seem to pity him, let alone empathize, in fact, if you still had your wonderfully useless abilities to understand Yoongi, he even seemed annoyed with him. Maybe he thought he was guilty? You would think so too after seeing the expression from earlier.
"As I told you before, I need to take you to the police station right now, we need to ask you a few questions regarding Mr. Han, I would appreciate it if you could cooperate as much as possible."
You nodded quickly, moving a little closer to Yoongi, "Did you come by car? Mine is in the parking lot."
"Don't worry, we'll go in mine," he murmured, barely brushing his fingers on your back, "go to the elevator first, I'll go next to Jumyeon."
You obeyed his command, walking to the elevator and waiting for it to reach your floor. You thundered your finger bones as you moved your left leg. You were still a bit in shock with the news, you were trying to think through your next move with Jumyeon, you didn't think things through very well before throwing the dessert in his face and shouting to the four winds that he was unfaithful to you with his best friend.
You turned to look at your ex-boyfriend, who stood next to Yoongi stiffly. He looked in your direction every so often, but averted his gaze immediately. Yoongi, on the other hand, kept his gaze fixed on you the entire time you were looking at them. It kept causing your stomach to churn and your heart to flip.
The sound of the elevator forced you to look away from both men. To your surprise, no one was inside it, which, on the one hand, was wonderful, as you wouldn't have to put up with the strong smell of expensive perfume and conversations between strangers that sounded too empty. But, on the other hand, you had to be alone with those other two.
You shook your head, trying to get that stupid thought out of your head, and entered the elevator followed by Yoongi and Jumyeon. You convinced yourself that the tense atmosphere was due to the news Yoongi gave you, but deep down you knew it wasn't so.
You knew your ex like the palm of your hand, you knew when he was genuinely sad and when he was not. You were aware that he wasn't feeling depressed at all, but he was angry, probably at you and whoever had attacked his father. You tried to avoid the idea of him being that way with you.
You brought your thumb to your mouth, biting your nail. Jumyeon's gaze on you was starting to feel too stinging and the fear started to grow as your head generated worst case scenarios. You had such a good imagination when it came to going against you.
The brush of fingers on your right hand made you jump in place. You turned to see who it was, and almost cried with happiness when you noticed it was only Yoongi. He discreetly caressed the knuckles of your hand, completely avoiding looking at you.
You had forgotten how good it felt to have someone who could read your body language so easily that just by looking at you or listening to you, he would understand that you were having a hard time. Yoongi was the only person you dated who could accomplish that. Maybe that was one of the reasons why you still weren't able to forget him.
You stopped biting your nail, concentrating on Yoongi's touch on your skin. It brought back so many memories.
"We'll talk at home about earlier" Jumyeon murmured, glancing sideways at you, "I think you're still a little confused."
"I'm not" you replied on impulse, staring at him, were you afraid? Obviously, was that going to stop you from telling him to his face? Of course not. "I gave you my answer, now act like a man for the first time in your life and accept it" you growled under your breath, holding back the urge you had to spit in his face.
You listened as Yoongi cleared his throat, and you knew he was doing it to camouflage his laughter. You didn't care, you would have done the same thing in his place.
"Stop fucking around and just say yes" Jumyeon turned to look at you, and if looks killed, you'd be on the floor, bleeding out, dying, you'd be a ghost.
"Why don't you shut up? Your voice is annoying, it makes my head hurt" Yoongi muttered, this time taking your hand firmly.
You internally prayed that Jumyeon wouldn't see it, you didn't want any more trouble than you already had.
The rest of the time in the elevator was in silence. Being so many floors it took you a few minutes to get down. They were the worst minutes of your life.
"We'll go in my car" Yoongi looked at Jumyeon before exiting the elevator. Holding hands with you. In front of him.
You saw out of the corner of your eye how his face distorted at the sight of your hands together. You reminded yourself that you didn't owe him any explanation. You had done nothing wrong, so why should you justify yourself? You nodded mentally, trying to encourage yourself.
Yoongi took out his key and unlocked his car. It was big and black, too shiny. You smiled as you remembered Yoongi always talked about how, when he had money, he would buy a nice apartment and a black car that looked so amazing that any teenager at his age would want one like that.
He let go of you for a moment only to open the passenger door and help you in. You screamed internally.
Jumyeon got in after you, to the back seats obviously, and before Yoongi got in and could hear him he came up to your ear.
"Wait till we get home, you fucking hypocritical bitch" he growled under his breath, returning to his seat as soon as Yoongi entered.
You looked down at your hands, staring at the nail you bit earlier. You didn't do anything wrong, you're not like him, you repeated yourself over and over, trying to ignore the pressure in your chest.
You leaned your head against the car window, watching as he started to move and head for the exit of the parking lot. You just closed your eyes, wanting to get to the station later to give your statement and get as far away from that man as possible.
You wiped away an unruly tear that dared to fall down your cheeks. He's not worth it, you told yourself, not anymore.
Masterlist
#TheHanFamily#bts x reader#bts x you#fanfic#bts fanfic#yoongi fic#bts imagine#bts x fem!reader#bts x y/n#bts x oc#fiction#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#yoongi#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x oc#suga x reader#suga x you#suga x y/n#bts fics#bts
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The County Fair
The day has finally arrived!! We were going to attend the County Fair! You were so excited and couldn’t wait to get dressed after your giant breakfast. You started to get dressed and the first pair of jeans didn't fit. The struggle got you winded and for a moment you really panicked because you thought you had gained again. You then realized that they were the last pair you outgrew .... Phew!!! You checked again and found a brand new pair of pants and a cute white top, and then came in the kitchen to help me pack some food for the trip. It was going to be a 30 min drive, maybe 45 with traffic. We packed some muffins, chips and cookies just in case.
We got in the SUV and headed down the road. I loved watching your belly shake and wobble when we hit bumps and was so glad you had room to sit comfortably. We sold our previous car about 6 months ago when you no longer fit. With you gaining so fast, this one should work for a while. About 10 min down the road you reached for the muffins and cookies and finished them all in a hurry.
Arriving at the fair, I dropped you off by the front entrance and then went to park. A good thing since it took me about 15 min to walk from the truck back to the entrance. You would need to save your steps as the fair grounds were big and your waddle was not geared for distances (or speed). You were sitting on a bench when I returned eating some funnel cake with powdered sugar that was sold just outside the gate. You were smiling, with some sugar around your lips ... so cute!
After buying tickets we walked in and started towards the main food area. I had to walk very slow so that you could keep up. You were doing pretty well. After about 2 minutes you asked to stop to look at a map. You were starting to sweat a little and wanted to catch your breath. I told you I knew where we were going but you had me double check to make sure we went the shortest route. After assuring you, we continued. We stopping again a few minutes later so you could try some bacon dipped in chocolate. So yummy, but a little messy. We sat down on a bench so you could eat it without it getting all over your white shirt. You did pretty well, spilling only tiny bit of chocolate by your collar.
We got up again and continued toward the food. It was so fun seeing all the people, hearing music, sounds from games and the popcorn machines. There was also an unmistakable aroma from all the foods, animals, hay and rides. It was a lot to take in. At first I really commended your willpower as we made it past the popcorn. I'm guessing you didn't see it?
Arriving at the main food pavilion, we got in line for some of the celebrity chef dishes. The lines were long, so I told you to find a seat and that I'd bring back the food. "Make sure you get something good" you said as you waddled towards the picnic tables. I watched you from a far navigating the picnic table and I was amazed how you figured it out. My guess is that getting out will be a lot harder.
As I waited in line, I couldn't help but notice how many other fat girls and guys there were. It seems like a perfect gathering place. One woman was holding about 4 plates and looked to be about your size. Another girl was much bigger, and was riding a scooter. Not a bad idea with all the walking needed. Her belly was pressing into the steering wheel and her hips and side belly far surpassed the width of the scooter. It was hot!
The first stand I got to had duck bacon wontons. The wontons were stuffed with duck bacon, grilled sweet corn, and cream cheese, and served with a creamy dipping sauce. I knew you would love it, so I picked up 3 servings.
At the next stand I picked up bacon-wrapped pork belly and mashed potato croquettes served on a skewer, topped with either home-style gravy, Korean bulgogi barbecue sauce, or sweet chili sauce. I got all 3 sauces in large cups so you could experiment. I picked up 3 of these also and headed over to you.
You were so excited to try the food! You were also a little upset I didn't get dessert. I mentioned that I thought we could get some later, but seeing how upset you were I headed back and picked up some Bowl o' Dough. Basically cookie dough in 3 flavors -- brownie batter swirl, European cookie butter, lemon ricotta cheesecake with blueberries. I got 3 of each.
You had already finished the wontons when I got back and were so excited about the cookie dough. I wasn't quite hungry yet, but had fun watching you stuff yourself. The pork belly was finished next and then you dove into the cookie dough. About 15 minutes later you were done. "Stuffed?" I asked. "far from it." you said as you tried to heave yourself up from the table. Uh oh. You your belly was stuck and wouldn't let your leg raise up enough to get out. I had suspected this wouldn't be easy. You tried again, leaning to side. Better, but it was so hard tho raise your leg! I let you regroup and then helped you by pulling your leg out and to the side. It worked and you got up sweating and winded. "Ugh. that was so tight!" you said. Lets go see the animals
It was clear that you were more full than you led onto, as your waddle was much slower and you were breathing heavier. I hated to see you uncomfortable and suggested we sit for a break. You happily obliged. "Wow, it's really hot here" you said panting. I agreed, but was honestly glad I was wearing a long sleeve shirt. 65 degrees is not hot to me.
After you caught your breath, we made our way towards the animals. On the way, I caught a stand in the distance and knew we had to stop. Fried Butter Balls. I chuckled. I had to see you eat those fat bombs. You couldn't believe they had them and were so excited to give them a try. I got you 3 servings and we sat down. "OMG these are good!!!" you said in between bites. "Get me more". I did, 5 more. You were eating like the pigs we were about to see.
After eating those you felt full. Lets just sit hear and listen to the music. The arena was close by and a band was playing. I said we could go in, but knowing the size of arena seats, agreed we should just chill and relax. There were picnic tables closer, but after the earlier fiasco the bench was a much safer bet. I rubbed your distended belly and we leaned into each other. So comfy.
About an hour or so later, we passed the heavy machinery section. You joked about needing the forklift to carry you around. haha. Getting tired from all the waddling today you were not happy. You saw another fat girl waddling that looked to be in a similar place. Who knew that you needed so much athleticism to attend the fair? We passed a log flume ride, which looked fun, however it would require way too much energy. It was also unclear if you would fit in the seat?
We arrived at another food court and you declared it time to feed. You sat down on a bench and I picked up a bunch of treats. Cheeseburgers with Fried Ice Cream, Deep-Fried Mashed Potatoes on a Stick, Krispy Kreme Hamburgers, Foot-long hot-dogs, Fried Oreos and Fried Twinkies.
You were pleased for sure with my choices and made your way through them without breaking stride. You especially loved the deep fried potatoes and Krispy Kreme Hamburgers. I went back and got you 3 more of each.
You were feeling very stuffed now and really just wanted to go home. I said that we needed to see the animals. You agreed and began the short slog waddle to the barn area. I noticed you now had ketchup, mustard and sauce on your shirt now in addition to the earlier spilled chocolate.
We finally got to the animals and grabbed a seat fully winded. You saw that there was Fried cheesecake and despite being stuffed just had had to try some. You said to just get one. I brought it and after the first bite you held up 2 fingers. "2 more". wow. this was sooo good.
I noticed your shirt was a lot tighter. Your belly was so distended from all the calories during your multiple feedings. You honestly looked like the pig who won the blue ribbon. Both of you were super fat and glowing!
After seeing the animals and eating the fried cheesecake, we walked very very slowly over to the gondola. / aerial lift ride that carried fairgoers across the grounds. You were soooo relieved that you wouldn't have to walk back!!! I was a little concerned about the weight limit in the car. Anyway, it dropped us right by the front gate. We got out, or should I say struggled out as the door was a bit of a squeeze for you.
I left you at the gate and went to go pick up the truck. I was hungry and grabbed some peanuts. When I returned you had a bag. "What's in the bag?" I asked. "Oh, just some food for home" you said. You had picked up deep-fried avocado, cream puffs, sweet corn ice cream and some Fried macaroni and cheese. "Awesome" I said, knowing that you would likely polish them off tonight.
"What a fun day" I said. "Yes, lets come back tomorrow" you replied before falling asleep on the short ride home.
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I had said a few days ago I would be posting my tips on how I lose weight the fastest & how i got it done being in sports that enabled this ♡ so here I go:
Btw- just need to say this quickly- I don't condone this and get help if you are able to ♡ much luv
Okay with that here it is teehee:
☆ Okay so When I was in wrestling, we had to make sure we made weight- no if . If you were 6 lbs over then you had to find a way to lose 6lbs by Saturday. When I was put in this situation, some of the girls would 🤮 of course, but I wasn't a fan of the taste so I def took alternative routes such as
1. Calorie Deficit= DUH. Obv. Duh. For safety reasons I'm going to say 1,400 max (which isn't much In real life lol) but I would eat around 800-1,200 max for this. I wouldn't really say I watch what I eat, but I'm also not just downing pure doritos and mountain due. I'll have chips but I'll also eat fruits.
2. Working out/ cardio= I know.. it's a bummer isn't it? But I'm being 1000% honest with you, calorie deficit combined with hot cardio is the key to losing weight quickly. This is what we all did to make sure we were at the correct weight within 7 days. And it's not walk around the block or sit on the floor and do donkey kicks either... it doesn't have to be extremely intense, but you do want to make sure you're sweating the whole time. ☆ bonus points for putting on 2-3 jackets and pajama pants or hot sweats when u workout!! It does a lot of the job for you. For me, my go to would be using the treadmill (I don't even run girl I have it on level 3 and do this for 30 mins while listening to music and day dreaming about my cute skinny future self- and I still sweat like crazy) I also do the same thing on a indoor bike. Like I said, it doesn't have to be sprints or anything crazy , just something that keeps you moving enough to be hot = sweat. Think of jumping Jacks, planks, butterfly kicks, ladder climbs, etc. Also if you have a jacket with a Hoodie, def tie the hoodie secured so u can sweat more! It works I promise.
3. if you have the time, try to workout whatever you just ate sooner than later. For example, ate an apple? That's 95 cals, nothing a 25 minute walk can't burn off 👍🏻
4. DRINK YOUR WATER. I know everyone says it BUT there's a reason they do okay. Water keeps your lips hydrated and soft. Water will keep your body hydrated, water will help keep you full (to an extent if im going to be honest) if you feel hungry after drinking water, try sucking or chewing on ice- water's cousin ♡ they go hand in hand. Also- I add chia seeds to my water for the fiber and mint leaves with lemon and Cucumber in another ( I have different cups) the mint drink helps with bad breath (from not eating) AND speeds your metabolism = lose weight faster. I also drink green tea for the same benefits + 0 calories so yay ♡
5. FOOD EXAMPLES. Chances are, If you're too focused on how hungry you are and how much it sucks that you can't have fatty foods- you'll break. You won't succeed. So let's make it as beautiful as we can. By that I mean the dishes you make. Some popular dishes we would do within the sport was 6-8 leafs of big crunchy Romaine lettuce with lemon and salt over them. That's around 10-15 calories. Another one was thin slices of tomatoes with salt. Get creative and add seasoning if needed ✨️ if you like spicy food then you're in luck cause adding spice to anything fills u up quicker:-) a good spicy choice I do is steamed garbanzo beans with tapatio. Another good (non spicy) option is steamed artichoke with light Mayo! Get fancy here guys yall can steam so many vegetables and have so many nice looking meals 😊
6. STAY CONSISTENT = I know it's easier said than done, but when you're about to grab that pizza, understand that you're conscious enough to make the decision to not eat it. If your body is fighting with your brain, then you have to trick one of them. Yes, be delulu. Tell yourself it isn't good. Tell yourself the pizza is just another thick slab of grease with artificial cheese over it. Think of how you'll feel once you eat it. Think of the grease lard and calories you're shoving down your throat. Convince yourself it's disgusting. Eventually, you will find it disgusting. And this can work the opposite way as well ✨️ glorify thin slices of fruit. The satisfying way it feels to eat low calorie naturally sweetened fruits from earth. Same with veggies and water and anything 0 calories.
If I have any other advice ( which I'm sure I do I can't just think at the moment!! Smh) then I'll be posting them on this account so follow me for more content but if there's 1 thing to take from all this, it's this:
Self-discipline & self-control
So many of us don't get to our goal weights because of these 2 right here. Find the self control to not eat the food your family brought home. Find the self discipline to carry on your good habits of eating minimal & healthy and gradually make your way to the end goal ✨️
I believe in you all! We got this, one day at a time 💕
#ed not ed sheeran#ed di3t#b0dii chexx#th1nsp1ration#th1n$po#ana0rex1a#@n0r3xia#@na rules#th!nspo#anablr#ed not sheeren#tw ed diet#thinspøo#th1gh g@p#th!n$p0#ed not sherran
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{ 08.11.24 } · { 50 days of routine } · { day 10 }
I don't get the first exercise from week 2 of the CBT workbook. It's a “values and activities” form where you have to put in at least 2 values for each of the six life areas (relationships, education/career, recreation/relaxation, faith/meaning/expansion, domestic responsibilities, and physical health) and then come up with at least 3 activities that can fall under each value. And they define values as anything that has no end point AND that is something you enjoy, love, or get satisfaction from doing (e.g. brings pleasure or enjoyment, gives us a sense of mastery or accomplishment, and feels like it’s worthwhile) whereas “activities, in contrast, are specific and have a beginning and an end, though they can be repeated as many times as we wish.” Then they proceeded to give some examples of values which included things like “beautifying my living space”, “spending time with friends”, “enjoying good food”, and “feeling fit and strong.” I suppose I get the last two as “values” but aren't the first two more like activities??? I am confused™. And I'm pretty sure “completing all my schoolwork” would be an activity because it has an end point...BUT IT SURE ISN'T SPECIFIC!!! 😂 I guess a good chunk of this is just semantics. I also skipped ahead and read week 5 last night. The chapter was called “time and task management” and I'm stealing some activities from there 😈
Here's everything else I got up to today! I don't know why I'm using exclamation points!!!
So for the daily activities worksheets, besides listing out everything you do and when, you have to state how enjoyable each activity was on a scale of 0-10, the same for how important each activity was, and an overall mood rating for the day also on a scale of 0-10 and they didn't say how you were supposed to come to a single mood rating for an entire day, so i just took the average of my enjoyment column lol. Anyway, I noticed two things so far: (1) a lot of things that are important are not very enjoyable (ok, i kinda knew this one but seeing it so starkly confirmed my suspicions lol) and (2) shorter study sessions (under 90 mins-2h) tend to increase enjoyment just a bit unless I'm researching smth or writing/making a presentation which are the most likely activities to put me in a flow state. So to help me not feel sad about doing shorter sessions (i.e. not being able to focus that long and that happily most of the time), I need to get Forest plants that look pretty much the same whether I get 1 plant per session or the max of 4 lol. Also, today's overall mood rating was the highest it's been all week (4.7 as opposed to ~4 since I started tracking all this...i think it's because i had more study sessions that were shorter today than in the last few days)! 🥳 I'm so glad this (extremely) tedious activity was not entirely useless!!! 😌
#50 days of routine#studyblr#studyspo#study motivation#stem academia#stem student#stemblr#100dop#100 days of productivity#heyfrithams#heydilli#astudentslifebuoy#100 days of studying#100 days of self discipline#cognitive behavioral therapy#mental health#therapy#mental wellness#that girl#becoming that girl#it girl energy#glow up#becoming her#mittonstudies#studyingwithmila#self improvement#self care#self awareness#self reflection#healing
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