#it takes me forever to learn how to draw my own characters consistently from memory 😅

[parab0mb]

Kinda getting back into an OC mood, so more OC stuff!

I decided to line and color some of the sketches I did of Lilian's next door neighbor and Bestest Friend* (*Lilian didn't get a say in this), Wednesday "Wendy" Cauldrison.

Been trying to tweak/stylize her design a bit more and just wanted an excuse to post more up-to-date art of her (most of these sketches were done at different times, so please excuse how inconsistent they are).

[sapphicwhxre]

tiny pansy rant, cut short so it’s *hopefully* not too long:

i. wanted. to. see. her. change! and in my opinion the reason she never got the chance was because jkr used her character to make fun of people she disliked :/

pretty much all the other noteable slytherins had some sort of redemption arc,, and yeah they’re still mostly problematic people but they got chances: snape, draco, narcissa, regulus, slughorn, leta and technically andromeda? you get the point i just—

like miss ma’am decided to make pansy,, the like slytherin stereotype? and have her want to betray harry? she was seventeen ffs, not bellatrix lestrange. she was in the middle of a war? in my personal opinion i don’t think that she wanted to hand harry over out of cruelty like. it’s possible? but maybe she was just scared? also don’t we know that pansy was terrified at the thought of like. voldemort coming to hogwarts? again: everyone expects all of the children in harry potter to be these selfless brave individuals,, they’re kids :( yes ik it’s ya fantasy but cmon. they were supposed to be stressed about the N.E.W.T exams not the upheaval of their society?

and don’t get me wrong i know that she was. not a good person. she was a bitchy teenage bully who was taught hateful views. but i wanted to see her change even a little– even draco marries someone who presumably teaches him how to treat people equally? like. there was so much room for change: she was a prefect, she was capable of some kindness seeing as she liked draco, or alternatively, we could’ve seen her break away from draco and potentially stop hating harry/all his friends quite so much or develop her own opinions. or maybe her group of friends that she used for validation throughout her school years was uprooted during the war and she had to learn that independency? or her pointing out harry could’ve been turned into trying to be selfless, like she thought they’d be safe that way, or she returned later fighting with reinforcements to show she was on Hogwarts’ side. jkr is always like "well they technically came back to fight, if you squint » but that’s not enough. also? let’s say we did get a glimpse of her during the actual battle: there could’ve been anything, the smallest scene, that showed some sort of support or reconciliation or something between her and hermione, considering how hermione was often pansy’s target. everybody wants to see forgiveness between draco and harry because of minor events/details (i dislike drarry but that’s besides the point), but imagine what could’ve changed with some semblance of apology or assistance from pansy to hermione. there were so many chances for r*wling to give her a smallest redemption

but instead we got her characterized as evil and a stupid, cowardly traitor. she the only person we ever see her care for marries her friends younger sister. she’s the written depiction of jkr’s bitterness and her arc is jkr’s vengeance.

also, another reason that i’m so mad she got nothing is because of the whole slytherin=evil thing. she’s made into a stereotype of a “slytherin”— cruel, selfish, shallow, ugly, and asinine. (also i could rant about slytherin forever, but can we just mention that jkr consistently refers to slytherins as physically ugly and just how fucked up that is? i– wtf). but anyway: to give pansy a chance to change is to give the slytherin house a chance to change its reputation. trying to justify that the slytherin house got its redemption because of the actions of ppl like snape or regulus, etc isn’t possible. because all of those “slytherin heroes” were described again and again as being “different from all the other slytherins”. they set themselves apart by being decent. they weren’t normal slytherins, no, they were set apart, they were brave and smart and kind— not evil. there’s no redemption to be found there. i wish jkr would just fucking say that being sorted into slytherin was being made into a villain. she dodged around it with rhetorical questions and pointing out how not All of them are bad,, and then will go on to mock the other slytherins and talk about how the heroes were Not Like The Other Snakes... again: there’s no redemption of slytherin as a house, as a quality, as a concept there. it’s just the redemption of an individual.

in pansy, however, we could’ve found so much more. like i said, she’s The Average Slytherin: not a hero, not a villain like voldemort. she’s made out to be a depiction of the typical slytherin student, one without a “destiny”, so to speak. and so to give her the chance, to see her change, to have her redefine herself? that would be a starting point for restoring slytherin as a whole (obviously not the best way, and the real best thing to do would be not to make an entire house be the bad guys in the first place, but–) to have someone who’s the figurehead of slytherin (like actually a figurehead,, girl is a even a prefect) show remorse and growth gives the entire house the seed of redemption. it would mean that after over a thousand years there could be peace between the houses. obviously not the only factor in reconciliation but still so important.

and not to just continue to heap on my own issues with it, but look. i know that there are so many other ways to introduce “mundane” antagonists without making them a symbol of anything. pansy could’ve been a bitch without representing slytherin. also pansy doesn’t have to break character and become kind for amends to be made. they don’t even have to be fully made, just started. but jkr chose to:

a.) go with bullying as a minor antagonistic element

b.) create and develop a character around that theme

c.) make this character only based on her own negative personal experiences

d.) turn that character into a representation of a much larger group of people

e.) deny that character any final moment that could begin to make amends for her actions and instead, chooses to make her “defining” moment an act of evil and cowardice

f.) either neglects the character or chooses plot points that would humiliate the character in all the glimpses of the future we are shown (ex. how dracos marriage is)

g.) openly mocks and insults the character repeatedly and never directly comes out and proves she didn’t write slytherins as evil

h.) to the best of my knowledge, ignores that pansy personifing slytherin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and then characterizing both as “bad” and not giving them a chance to grow, is a summary of her thoughts on slytherin ls and is a possible interpretation of the text (i mean her opinions are already TRASH)

i. ignores the consequences of this or the possible effect it has on her entire fanbase and doesn’t seek to remedy it

but yeah, jkr, it was such a good idea to base a character off of your loathesone memories, take your anger out on her, and that choose to have that character partially represent a large percentage of your fanbase. thank you sooooo much. i really appreciate it!

summary:

I. Pansy— deserved an opportunity to have some character development. everyone else’s mistakes get overlooked to some degree save hers. had so many places to draw inspiration/opportunity from. could’ve progressed other ideas in the book and the analysis of her house while still remaining a “dislikable” character

II. Writing— from a “technical?” aspect, Pansy is underdeveloped and stagnant, used for personal reasons instead of as a plot device. perpetuates the slytherin=bad idea via a sloppy and repetitive characterization and emblem. there are ways around this that weren’t used.

III. I have no qualifications to be saying any of this lmao. Am I reading to much into it, knowing that Rowling tends to be shitty with writing details? Am I being dramatic and repetitive? probably!

IV. Fuck JKR (for everything. she’s an awful person)

anyways this has been: my mini-rant on pansy and her analysis,,, and i am terribly sorry,, i offer my apologies in advance for randomly dumping this into your inbox. it’s long and opinionated and there’s no real reason behind it! i just thought of it and then thought about it some more and then. here we are

ilysm mwah <3 should’ve definitely done something more productive but shh😭 rat brain hours

this is everything, you're completely right. i don't have much to add but i agree all the way. and people give pansy so much shit for the harry thing but she seemed genuinely scared of voldemort coming back and i really think that she believed he would leave them alone if they gave him up. from her perspective, it's either her and the people she cares about get to live or this guy that she not only isn't close to but probably sees as the bad guy considering she dated/was best friends with draco and witnessed their rivalry from his side. did she make the best decisions? no, not at all but i see her reasons and i don't think it makes her this antichrist that jkr makes her out to be. she pulled the “he's just a boy” with draco and had people sympathise with him when he did so so much worse than pansy did so why doesn't that apply to her? she's a kid. they all are. i love harry, ron, and hermione SO MUCH but jkr really said fuck everyone who isn't them ─ especially any girl who isn't her precious hermione. she projected her own pettiness onto fictional characters who are CHILDREN and proceeded to get upset when people connected to and loved other people that she herself made. creating such an underdeveloped character and expecting people to hate her just because she imagined her as her bully is beyond immature and ridiculous. anyways. jkr take a fucking chill pill and leave my girl alone.

[fansofvow]

Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

[baconpal]

talkin bout fuckig manga

hey it’s me, haven’t had internet for over a week and i’ve been sick and uni and blah blah blah time for a rant about manga

this time its about  "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru", tl;dr, good manga read it idk

lots of bullshit below the cut

Before anything I say gets too confusing or I go off on an insane tangent, just know my recommendation is that you read "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru". It's not very easy to find online since it has an official English release (which my recommendation extends far enough to suggest I might pick up in the future, just to have it, but I am very stingy), but there's an alright torrent of all the volumes on your local anime torrenting website, and is at the very least worth the trouble of reading as such. There is also an anime that gets better as it goes, but the manga is my primary recommendation. Beyond this point I'm not gonna give much regard to what I write, so get ready for anything, read the manga and see if you agree with me, or don't and see if I care:

BOUT THE ANIME: The SoreMachi anime is one of those rare comedy anime you find where the animation and overall production is just really extra the entire time. Hopefully you know what I mean because I won't really be able to explain it any other way, it's simply one of those shows where the jokes are decent and it's a fun time for the most part. Unfortunately, the anime makes a couple of critical missteps that kept me from getting far into it when I first tried watching it about a year ago, and in retrospect seem even less reasonable.

Starting with the good, as an adaptation it does a good job with most chapters it covers, it properly sources where each chapter comes from incase you intend to read the manga and skip around to catch up, and the anime adapts some sections to have additional jokes that fit very naturally in to the story. It also covers up some of those problems only manga can have like having a concert segment without any actual music involved, until they invent mp3-paper it's just something we'll have to live with. Translation work was pretty good (I watched the [WhyNot] release for those who care), which is extra important for something as difficult to translate as jokes from another language. The set of episodes they chose to end on was very good, and was expanded to be a lot more impactful in the anime. If it wasn't for the last episode being as strong as it was I may have given up on finding the manga when I saw it wasn't super easy to read online.

As for what the anime fails in, some episodes feature some really blatant over-acting that doesn't really help make characters believable, and there's this obnoxious gag that continues the whole where through where most scenes have a few seconds long line from what is essentially a forced mascot character, which usually mean nothing and only serve to harm the pacing of many episodes (there isn't even any sort of equivalent bit in the manga so I really don't know why they did it, most of the anime original jokes are pretty good so I just really don't get it). The biggest issue the anime faces is that the source material is about 140 chapters, while the anime is only able to cover 24 chapters. This comes with a LOT of problems, the first being what I'd call the "required reading". SoreMachi is not a 1-note simple comedy where you can skip to any chapter and be completely okay; There are many small but meaningful subplots lying beneath, and characters have a fair bit of development throughout. What this means for the anime is that the first 3-4 episodes are just the first few chapters of the manga, which are a bit rough and not as good as the majority of the work, which is true of a lot of comics (god fuck I promise there will be more than a first chapter of my comic I promise it'll get better fuck). In terms of the anime by itself, I'd say episode 1 is decent, 2 is middling, and by 3/4 their still taking a while to introduce members of the cast, and I didn't immediately want to finish it. I put the show down for a long time until my internet started dying and I wanted to watch something fun. Slapping it back on at episode 5 I immediately had a great time and watched the rest of the show pretty soon after. While I understand the reasoning behind doing this, the anime does not pay off this structure, as beyond the first few episodes, the chapters start being presented out of release order and out of chronological order, kind of destroying any consistent throughline. This decision in and of itself isn't the worst, since the comic isn't always chronological, and the volume ordering is a bit different from the release ordering, but the inconsistency makes the first few episodes feel lessened without reason. The other large failure that comes with only animating about 1/7th of the entire work is that many themes and concepts that are core to the manga are not represented in the anime well at all. One of the biggest is the rare but unnerving supernatural chapters, of which only one is animated, and not a particularly good one. In order to talk about these themes I'll have to transition into talking about the manga itself, since they aren't part of the anime.

DA MANGA: So one last recommendation that you read the manga, the whole damn thing. Cus we're gettin into themes and character moments that take a long time to pay off, and obviously is all part of my interpretations, so if that stuff means anything to you don't let me ruin it for ya.

The title of the manga is, in essence, the entire manga's "punchline" in that every chapter could meaningfully end with simply the text "And yet the town still turns..." (My translation of the title, fuck "And yet, the town revolves" or "But the town moves"); by this I mean most chapters end in an anti-climax where a mystery is left unsolved, or a mystery is solved and undercut by the realization that life simply keeps on going without much change. This is used to essentially force your eyes open to all possibilities when reading, as the main character spends her time acting like a detective, and these mysteries end up as either misunderstandings, secrets, riddles, and sometimes something out of the ordinary happens that makes you unable to pin anything down firmly. Similarly, these endings aren't always read-and-forget scenarios. Several chapters come back in the form of a continued joke, a continued mystery, or contribute to some greater purpose later. Readers are properly rewarded for keeping everything they can in mind, while also tormenting such people with loose ends.

I enjoy Hotori as a protagonist due to her character being defined not in flaws and strengths, but in mindedness. Hotori seems like a simple "haha she's dumb" character to start, but consistently throughout she proves that her strengths are in memory, observation, and deduction, while lacking in some more common sense and abilities. Her brain works in strange ways that some people may or may not understand, such as her need to think through even the most trivial fictional scenarios, which I relate to deeply.

The art and paneling throughout are wonderful. Ishiguro Masakazu is one of those artists who draws very simple characters, but knows how to use details and depth to breath so much life into the artwork. He also clearly uses the occasional supernatural happenings as an excuse to draw what he loved, as all sorts of artistic depictions of the supernatural come out that simply look satisfying. These parts obviously meant a lot to him since he's been working on a primarily mystery-action manga that has a lot more of that stuff in it. (Also, as hindsight is 20/20, if you've read any of his new work you'll notice that the main character of it is eerily similar to a character who shows up very late in SoreMachi that the author obviously fell in love with, cus she just keeps coming back and even ends up with a really unsettling end to her character arc despite only being introduced as a component in a harmless mystery. Feel free to call me out for the same shit 30 years from now when I'll probably do the same shit)

I'd like to get into some of the major themes of this work, as a lot of them hit very close to my mind (which I guess is true of any theme you recognize for yourself, you wouldn't really "get it" if it didn't mean something to you...).

The simplest theme, again, comes from the title. The main character, Hotori, expresses a desire that the town she lives in continues going on, unchanged forever. This is obviously a fear of change, which ya know, same, but also an exploration of what it means to fear change. Hotori actively tries to keep businesses from closing down, keep friends from leaving, and keep relationships from changing, while simultaneously making all sorts of new relationships and solving mysteries. Hotori even comes to realize that simply learning the truth about something changes the world through your own perspective, and that such changes can't be undone. In spite of this, Hotori mostly gets her wish, any time she fears that a large change will impact the town, its resolved about the same as any other issue. Whether its a message that even time can't keep you from your loved ones and that change isn't worth fearing, or a concession that large changes to the setting would be a bad idea in terms of humor, I can't really decide. This theme reaches it's conclusion in what is one in a series of "ending" kinda chapters at the end of the series. Hotori is faced with a supernatural ethical situation, save her town from destruction at the cost of her existence, or live through the disaster, knowing her town and the people in it will forever be changed. While the actual result is that nobody disappears and nothing is lost, and the event may have simply been a strange dream, Hotori confidently decides that sparing the people in her town from a life altering event is worth giving up her memories with them. A kind of bold spit-in-the-face to the idea that change is okay, where we find that Hotori didn't fear change for herself, but rather for the people around her.

There's another major idea in this manga, which takes a very long time to pay off, and completes its arc at the very very very actual end of the series, the idea of "leading someone to be something". A character that rides that line between main and side character, Shizuka, is a writer of detective novels, who feels the best person to judge her works would be a version of herself without the bias of being the author. She tries to achieve this by leading Hotori to be interested in detective works (including her own) and generally be just like her, starting from a young age. The end result is a young girl dead set on being a detective herself (or at least another novelist), while Shizuka keeps her identity as an author secret. She then uses Hotori as a scapegoat for herself, attempting to see how she would solve various mysteries and use that as inspiration, and this is depicted as though Shizuka were some sort of villain, which she may feel like she is. The end result of it all, though, is that Hotori was likely already a detective-minded person, and that even if Shizuka pushed her down that path, it was Hotori's decision to continue down it, and the very end of the manga is a scene revealing that Hotori figured out Shizuka's secret at some point, and even still respected Shizuka and aspired to reach her, and the two accept each other for who they are. I enjoy this ending a lot, since as an artist I've worried that some of my love or aspirations for and from other artists came with an ulterior motive of wanting a better community for art to exist in, but people are people and will make their own decisions, and some day everyone may be able to become equals in a truly meaningful sense, where everyone is inspired by and guiding each other together.

So that probably didn't mean shit to nobody and I didn't even really talk about anything in the comic like most of the main characters or any of the shit goin on but ya know fuck you go read it, and thanks for reading this.

[pyreo]

oh god oh no there’s so many SU words I’m sorry

All great heroes and villains are supposed to be diametrically opposed on something and that’s why Steven and Spinel worked very well against each other, a really simple point of contention with a million complications

The movie started out with that recap of the series told as a storybook, open and closed, beginning to end. Steven is two years older, they’re building a peaceful hope for all gems on Earth, the Diamonds are now like his overbearing aunts who hug too long, the song “Here We Are In The Future” presents this stage as the endpoint - the future is here, this IS the ending, the story has finished. Steven repeatedly refers to his ‘happily ever after’ from now on, a state of harmony he put in the work to achieve, and now gets to enjoy.

And then Spinel comes in, and I could draw a villain comparison from her to Undertale’s Flowey - someone who knows you are the protagonist, who won’t let the story end because they still want to be included, and will ‘reset’ you to force the narrative to continue for their benefit.

Spinel resents that the story took place without her. Moreover, she’s opposed to Steven’s proclamation that the world is fixed now, forever, because the moment she heard that was the moment she realised how broken she was. She would’ve wanted to be in the story, and she would’ve been on the good guys’ side, but nobody included her so she’ll find them and erase their character development, so that she can redo the story and insert herself in it. Her villainy only extends as far as ‘you finished it wrong, you left me behind, start over and put me in the narrative’. After she resets the CGs and Steven’s gem she keeps laughing as Steven returns the blow and resets her too, implying maybe that it was her plan to force them back to stage one and erase her memories after making sure she was now present as the story repeats.

Then Steven has to recreate everything he’s learned about his family to bring back their true selves - from the connections they’ve made to their heartbreak. There’s a very consistent message that your ‘true self’ isn’t you without your bad experiences, unaffected by them, that you’re a whole person because of them.

But the funny thing about the clash over whether or not the story is finished is that Steven is wrong. When Steven says ‘this point of happily ever after is where the story stops’, Spinel hears ‘you’re stuck here and can’t develop past your trauma’. She sets out to prove him wrong because she hasn’t yet recovered. She hasn’t done her character arc yet. She’s missed everything. Steven’s side of the argument is essentially to deny that Steven Universe, the cartoon, will continue, and Spinel’s argument is that she’ll make it continue until she gets closure - and of course any continuation of their story will involve the character development that Spinel craves and that Steven explicitly says he’s done having.

The movie is a metanarrative about characters who are vaguely aware of their continued existence only when there are more problems to be solved, as recognised by the language they use, like the line “I’ve heard the story over and over again” referring to their own plot, and Peridot’s “but my character development” joke. When Steven laments that he still doesn’t have his powers back despite reliving every terrible thing that’s ever happened to him, he realises his mistake; that you can’t inhabit a preserved moment of reality forever, and things will continue to change, but the ability to do so is the entire reason he as a half-gem hybrid exists. And the change he embodies is why he infuriates Spinel and why she wants what he is - “When you change you change for the better, when I change, I change for the worse”. She wants to recover from abandonment and stop unhealthy ways of expressing her grief, and doesn’t think herself capable.

Which is why when Steven, still in denial, says she can shut down the drill and they’ll ‘forget it ever happened’, that triggers a relapse. Forgetting it ever happened was her unhealthy plan to get her memories wiped and plant herself in the story. Forgetting it ever happened means discarding the growth she was just able to make and reliving the realisation that nobody in the universe cared about her. In saying that, he reveals he hasn’t figured out that she needs the continuation to be able to heal past this. Spinel’s character development is opposed to Steven’s desire for an unchanging ending-- and he realises he’s wrong and only then is able to assure Spinel in the final song, Change: “You can make it different, you can make it right / You can make an effort, starting with tonight” which effectively gives her permission, from the main character, to alter his world and his story, to have the time, starting now, to work on herself as part of the fiction he’s established - for someone who sees herself as a broken character, inflicting herself and her unfinished arc on someone who finished theirs, to be allowed to exist and told that her unhappiness is welcome among people who have adjusted better from theirs.

The tone of the ending is all about effort. Steven’s realisation is that he’ll always be putting in work towards making the universe safe and happy. Spinel’s realisation is that she CAN be a good person if she wants to, and that decision can only be made by her. Steven’s final act of renewing the life of the Earth from poison by going around kissing patches of it is a metaphor for the constant work one must put in to heal from toxicity. Spinel’s final act of leaving Steven, after seeing him affectionately greet his family, is a literal undertaking of the same task, as she says outright: “I’ve got work to do. Friendship isn’t going to be easy for me. I’m gonna have to work at it. You make me want to try.” She thought what she wanted was to take revenge on the owner of the gem that wronged her, but what she really needed was to stop fixating on the owner of that gem entirely. She recognises that she has a journey ahead and it would be better taken away from Steven, and she cannot insert herself into his life, which is already full of loved ones. She wasn’t there when they all bonded and she can’t reset that. All she can do now is take control of her future.

Which she does. If anything, this movie is about there being no single state of being a good, fair person. It’s an effort you undertake for life, and you can always try to be better at it. You’ll never be done growing. Happiness might be temporary, but anguish will be temporary too. That’s life for you.

[nattikay]

Sooooo I’m not sure if anyone would be interested in actually reading something like this, but I was looking through some of my older Miraculous art and seeing how the designs of my future AU characters have subtly evolved over time, so I wanted to make a post about designing these characters and how/why I made the decisions that I did! 

So first off, the birth order! I was originally intending to have the kids born in the order that they’re listed in the Stormy Weather episode:

...unfortunately, instead of actually looking at the episode to be sure, I just went off memory; I remembered Emma being the second but accidentally mixed up Hugo and Louis. By the time I realized this, the characters were already too cemented in my head to switch them back. ^^” Oh well.

In addition to the above, in my ~10 years of experience with next gen fics/art/OCs (I know, I have a problem), I’ve noticed that a pretty large fraction of the time folks opt for their OTP’s firstborn to be a daughter over a son. Nothing wrong with this, of course (heck, I’m a firstborn daughter myself haha), it’s just so disproportionately common that I thought making Hugo the firstborn instead of Emma might make my version stand out a bit more. ^^

Now with the siblings’ order decided, on to the designs! Starting with our oldest, 

Hugo!

Black hair and green eyes seems to be the most popular design for an Adrienette kid, and for good reason! It’s an appealing combo on its own in addition to using traits from both parents for the most notable genetic features in characters: hair and eyes. 

I also wanted to give Hugo some of his own flair though. I think the best next gen characters are recognizable as their parents’ offspring BUT can still stand on their own as unique individuals. One way to help do this is, when available, to draw on extended family rather than only their parents. 

Hugo’s strongest example of this (at least as a kid) is his slicked-back hairstyle, which was somewhat inspired by Gabriel’s. The slicked-back style seemed to fit his nerdy personality, but because he is a child and not nearly as uptight as his grandfather, Hugo’s hair is much messier than Gabriel’s, and he often has pieces falling out in the front. 

Admittedly I’m not super great at conveying the slicked idea from the front view, but you can see it a bit better in profile:

Hugo more than either of his siblings also takes after the Dupain side of the family, which isn’t super noticeable as a kid but becomes much more so as he grows up and develops the broad shoulders and strong upper body of Tom and Rolland. He’s not quite as enormous as Tom but is easily the strongest sibling (Louis, meanwhile, is a lanky little noodle like Adrien and Gabriel).

Going along with that, Hugo’s personality has loosened up a bit over time. While I do still draw him in his tucked-in button-up, I’ve also started drawing him in looser styles a bit more, because after all, he is just a goofy kid! This has included anything from using shorts instead of long pants to sometimes wearing just regular ol’ t-shirts instead of his nice button up (on which I rarely actually draw the plaid pattern I initially designed him with because wow it takes forever).

Funnily enough, this is a bit of the opposite of what happened to Adrien. My first sketches of adult!Adrien from this AU all have his shirt untucked, even whilst teaching, but now I almost always draw it neatly tucked in:

...interesting, interesting.

Anyways, while Hugo is still very much a little nerd who does quite well in school and LOVES learning about space and astronomy, he’s also a little more goofy and active than he was when I first created him. He’s probably the most athletic of his siblings (though really none of them are exactly jocks) and while he’s not particularly interested in organized competitive sports, he loves a good game of catch or tag. :)

While people in real life obvious wear any color they want, with my OCs I tend to pick a general palette and stick to it though all (or at least most) outfits, for consistency and easy recognizability. Hugo’s palette is mostly greens (for Chat Noir of course! ;) ), dark blues, and warm browns.

Now, onwards to 

Emma!

I decided to make my version of Emma blonde for two reasons: one, it appears to be so in the screencap shown at the beginning of the post, and while Marinette’s imaginations do not necessarily have to dictate how you design your versions of the kiddos, I liked having the consistency.

...plus then some years later Frozer rolled around and showed a blonde (imaginary) Emma again, so like 

...validation ;)

(by complete coincidence they’re even accurate to the color schemes I use kashdfgjsddsafjdf)

And the second is just that, again, most (not all, of course, but a lot) of the other Emmas I’ve seen in the fandom have been dark-haired, so again I thought it’d help mine stand out a bit.

So now with hair color established, it’s time for eye color. Most of the blond-haired Adrienette kids you see have blue eyes, for the same reason that a lot of dark-haired ones have green. Which, as said with Hugo, makes sense, since it’s the hair color of one parent and the eye color of the other. So why didn’t I make Emma’s eyes blue, then?

Well, it’s a bit of a silly reason tbh, but the blond-hair-blue-eyes combo reminded me a little too much of Chloe. ^^” Not that it would cause any parentage concerns, of course, since obviously Marinette is the one who gave birth to her, but the visual similarities still made me go like...eh ^^”

So green eyes it was! Which, of course, made her look a heck of a whole lot like her father.

But of course, it’s fine to favor one side of the family, but she’s gotta have SOMETHING from Marinette, right? So what other visual could she inherit to show at least some of her mother’s genes?

✧・ﾟ:* F R E C K L E S ! *:・ﾟ✧

And since Marinette’s freckles are so subtle, I decided to make Emma’s a bit more prominent and easily visible.

Actually her freckles have multiplied quite a bit over the years. She’s always had more than Marinette but it used to be confined to just a few on her cheeks and shoulders. Now drawing her is more like DOTS! DOTS EVERYWHERE! with freckles all over her face, down her neck and arms, and even a few on her legs! It is very much her Thing at this point haha

Freckles everywhere!

As for her hairstyle, the default is a simple headband, but she also sometimes wears it just plain down with no accessories at all (usually when in PJs), or up in pigtails like Marinette’s!

Those are just the main ones though...really she can do pretty much whatever ^^

Emma’s outfit palette took a bit more consideration than her brothers’, since I needed it to match the yellow hair (whereas black, as a neutral, can go with just about anything. So I took a minute looking at her established colors--bright green eyes and golden-blonde hair--trying to think of what theme I could used. 

The grassy green and sunshine yellow ended up reminding me of warm weather, like a spring or summer morning. The easiest color for that would’ve been green, but I was already using greens for Hugo and didn’t want their schemes to look too similar. Ultimately I decided on pinks, because the pink outfit with the yellow hair reminded me of some nice fresh lemonade! Some bright whites and warm creams/off-whites then added to the cheery, springy theme. ^^

Her original outfit design included some small dots on her collar and pant cuffs, not unlike the inside of Marinette’s jacket, but I don’t really include that detail much anymore for the same reason I rarely draw Hugo in his original plaid.

Lastly but not leastly, onwards to 

Louis!

Thus far we’ve had Hugo, who’s a pretty good visual mix of his parents, and Emma, who takes more after her dad. As such, I figured that it’d only be fair if the third and final kid took more after his mom!

So in many ways Louis looks a lot like a mini male Marinette, right down to the subtle freckles. If Hugo has the most Dupain genes and Emma has the most Agreste genes, Louis probably has the most Cheng genes and has the easiest time convincing people that yes, he is actually 1/4 Chinese (absolutely no one believes Emma when she says this lol...she has to show pictures of her family haha).

We can’t completely ignore the Agreste side of the family though, and in Louis’s case is manifests mostly in his hairstyle which is very similar to Adrien’s, as well as his lean and lanky body type as an adult, very similar to Adrien’s and Gabriel’s (unlike Hugo who, again, is stockier like a less-extreme Tom).

His outfit color scheme is light blues and grays with splashes of red. The blues and grays work well for his shyer, more reserved demeanor, while the splashes of red like the t-shirt hidden under his sweater are like his big imagination! (Like his mother and grandfather, Louis is very much into art and design, though his interest tends to be geared more towards characters and stories than fashion).

Not as much to say about him tbh...he’s “evolved” the least from his original concept and is mostly just the cute baby brother ^^”

So yeah, there you have it! That was roughly my thought process for creating/designing my little kiddos ^^ 

Hopefully some of you found this interesting; I enjoy talking about my ideas and stuff so if you ever want to know more or about something else that I do/make, feel free to ask! ^^

[apptowonder]

On the Inherent Chaotic Queer Energy of “Cats” (No, Really)

In Which the Author Relates His Early Affinity For the Musical Cats, And Meditates in Rapt Contemplation On Its Effect On His Own Queer Coming of Age.

Ok, I’ll drop the Eliotian/Victorian pretense. But in all seriousness, this is going to be a long ramble on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats, because I saw the recording of the 1998 Broadway performance again for the first time in probably 14 years and it made me Feel Feelings (tm). Plus a comrade of mine expressed similar enthusiasm and it inspired me.

I -- First Viewing

When I was 10 or 11 years old, for a brief period after seeing Cats for the first time at a local dinner theater production, I was enamored in ways I couldn’t put into words. I was not, and have not really ever been a theater queer. I did a few plays up through high school, and stopped doing theater in college when I lost interest and found out it would take time away from gospel choir. But there was something about the way these characters moved, the charisma they carried themselves with that stuck with me. Unlike some of my queer friends, I don’t have the sense that “I always knew” I liked boys as well as other genders. As a tween, I felt very aloof from romantic interest except for one long-lasting crush on a girl in 5th grade that lasted through middle school. But as I continue to look back, I do think I felt a certain stirring in my gut for certain charismatic male figures, almost like an imprinting. Early affection and crushes manifested in a desire to be like the attractive heroes I admired.

I wanted to be Mr Mistofelees, the Original Conjuring Cat. I also wanted to be Munkustrap, the unassuming but brave and suave narrator, unofficial leader of the Jellicle Tribe. Honorable mention goes to the Rum Tum Tugger, whose rock star persona definitely exudes bi energy, but he felt less approachable to me. In any case, though I didn’t realize it at the time, something was very queer about these cats.

II -- On the Naming of Cats -- Munkustrap

Why I felt drawn to this character is hard to sum up. He doesn’t have his own song, his name is only listed in the program. But he does have considerable stage time. Serving as the narrator and Master of Ceremonies for the Jellicle Ball, right-hand man to Old Deuteronomy, and the only cat willing to go toe to toe with Macavity, he had a certain gravitas that I found compelling. He is humble, as I strive to be. Caring and protective of his family, but not overly aggressive. Confident, but not overbearing. He seemed that he would be the perfect gentle lover, someone who could take you to new and unexpected places but would also make sure that you were safe and loved. 

On a deeper level, perhaps my identifying with this character was a kind of rehearsal for the years to come. Munkustrap served as both the boy I wanted to meet and the boy I wanted to be. When I came out and became invested in queer community and queer Christian community especially, I found myself slowly falling into the role of psychopomp and threshold guardian for some of my gayby Christian friends who were either newly coming out or newly trying to reconcile their faith and sexuality. I would direct them to apologetics resources, but I think my greater strength was in being a kind of MC who would invite them into a new queer reality, a celebration of the richness of life and a vision of the vastness of both theology and queer vibrancy. In a sense, I invited them to a Jellicle ball.* I would invite them to dance beneath the moon of our shared experience, and show to them that far from being incomplete or broken, they had their own power and beauty, were possessed of “Terpsichorean powers” which would serve as a mysterious gift to the wider world.

The first boy I dated was a Munkustrap. Gentle, but fun-loving. Willing to meet me where I was, but also encouraging me to new heights of intimacy, feeling and adventure. Though we eventually parted ways, we remained good friends, and I will be forever grateful to him for leading me from an abstract appreciation of my queerness to a deeply embodied possession of it that I can now live out for the glory of God and the good of humanity, like a cat has a deep embodied possession of its third and secret name.

III -- On the Naming of Cats -- Mr. Mistoffelees

“Oh, well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

Coming in at the eleventh hour to save the day, Mr. Mistoffelees employs his magical powers to rescue Old Deuteronomy when all other help fails. In the production I saw, he literally flies down onto the stage (on a wire) and proceeds to produce phantasmagorical phenomena and easily conjures up the kidnapped patriarch of the Jellicle Tribe from the place he’s been sequestered. He is flashy, elegant, flamboyant, coy, “aloof” but always fun-loving. Perhaps more importantly, in all the performances I’ve seen, he seems elegantly attuned to some deeper sixth sense. Beneath the playful surface is a deep power that manifests in impressive ways. The show relays his power through the metaphor of stage magic, but to me he also seemed to have a touch of something mystical, spiritual. I felt both awe and affection for that sensitive attunement, and how it was packaged in such a playful personality.

In my own life as queer clergy, I have sought to develop that kind of attunement. Though spirituality is a bit slower and more messy than conjuring, I have received compliments from colleagues queer and straight that I often speak the exact right prayer for the needs of a given moment. I write poems and try to breathe new life into the life-giving stories of my spiritual tradition, my life and the lives of my queer tribes. I’m always eager to come up with an impromptu liturgical service when circumstance dictates, and I draw on vocabulary from the saints and mystics as well as my own love of language and poetry. Playfulness is, to me, a spiritual virtue, and I love to offer inspiring surprises from the depths of the wisdom I have inherited from those who have gone before. When friends (especially queer Christian friends) are stuck in demoralizing binaries and limited horizons of purity culture, toxic theology, or other spiritual burdens, I will often pull a shimmering anecdote from the lives of the saints, or an ancient word of curiosity that opens up a new way of seeing the world. In a way, I’m pulling kittens out of hats. 

Ironically but also fittingly, when I kept my queerness under wraps, my poetry was vivid but strained. Overwrought, often melancholy but rarely insightful. And I would pray when someone asked me to, but it generally consisted of generic requests that didn’t really mean much to me. I had to become fabulous and be willing to be in touch with the queer wonder of both my loves and my experiences before I began to really tap into that spiritual current that I am still learning how to channel for the life of the world. I’m still a beginner, and in my day to day life I’m fairly quiet and introspective. Aloof, perhaps. But I feel that my openness to queer joy, queer eros and queer vibrancy have begun to throw open a way to my own wholeness and the invigorating and revival of many of my communities. I don’t do this alone, and I am still learning from my many queer elders and forerunners. As I study and practice and bring forth vision, I continue to learn “from Mr. Mistofelees’ conjuring turn.”

At Pride a year or two ago, I met a Mr. Mistofelees of sorts. A pagan boy, playful and flashy, with a golden voice. He ended up being a bit too flighty for me, but he helped me find a bit more of my flamboyant side by getting me to do karaoke, and introducing me to the queer night life in a new city. In our own separate ways, we both helped each other I think be deeper attuned to that electric queer energy that flows into creativity, presence, wonder and resilience like lightning flows from Mistofelees’ fingertips. We pranced about our respective stages and conjured beauty for one another.

IV -- Memory (Some Thoughts on the Queerness of the Musical, and Some Final Reflections)

And what of the musical as a whole. What is it about Cats that struck such a chord with my very young queer self, and still does?

To me, it has an energy to it that resonates very deeply with queer experience. It delights in elevated pageantry, but it takes its own internal logic and way of being seriously. There is something about the mystery and spectacle of it that feels like a queer way of being. Despite the charge leveled against us by demagogues and queerphobes that we’re simply decadent, queer experience to me has always been about experiencing a heightened sense of reality, be that in adventure, sensuality, joy, beauty, celebration or pleasure. As the meme goes, before you say we’re too much, ask yourself, are you even enough?

Furthermore, the show is sensual and embodied in a way that many more conventional Broadway musicals aren’t. It delights in being just a little bit bawdy, while at the same time showcasing an excellence in the choreography and visuals that requires a good deal of skill and physical effort. In coming out and coming to know queer community, I began to listen better to my body and to be more comfortable in my own skin. To delight in the magic of touch and sensory beauty.

Finally, the sensuousness that undergirds the show also displays a very free flowing romantic and affectional subtext between different characters. Two cats may flirt or make eyes at each other, but there’s no expectation that they might not also catch the eye of a completely different cat in the next scene. They perform with a subtle erotic undertone that suggests both tenderness and hedonism, but all in the context of a tight-knit community that cares for its own. The fanfiction community for Cats presents a rainbow of different romantic pairings for various characters, and the lack of consensus as to which ones are “canon” speaks to the show’s affectational fluidity and dynamism.

In the end, the Jellicle cats all present a world within the everyday that is deeply queer and fluid, a “thin space” where personalities are larger than life and anything is possible. In this gay and mystifying romp, I was moved to a consideration in the years since I saw it of my own “secret names” as a future queer seminarian and priest (though I didn’t know it then). While it may seem bewildering to some, I continue to cherish it as a tribute to the great mysteries of queer existence, love and community. And that’s how you address us cats.

*Props to my comrade for extending on and fleshing out this metaphor in his blog post.

[halorocks1214]

hmmmm prime numbers for the video game asks?

Listen, are you secretly a math teacher? I might not be taking a math class my first year at college but come on, I’m taking a break for a reason

JKJK, thanks for asking~

1. First game you played obsessively?  To make sure I answered the right questions I double checked my math with Google and turns out, one is not prime, so there’s that fun fact for the day that I always keep forgetting

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

Pbpbppbpb, I mean, the stories from my favorite games definitely helped me get into Writing and such. I loved the idea of my characters going through the situations the characters in these games did, and slowly I learned to make my own stories instead of just... taking plots from video games and changing the characters to mine lmao

Though, my main OC going through all the Pokemon games’ plots as a singular person and interconnecting all the worlds and lore? Yeah, not getting rid of that any time soon. Pry it from my cold, dead heads. I dare ya

3. Who did you play with as a kid?

Lots and lots of online friends. I get real tired of people saying, “internet friends can’t be real friends!” because for the longest time the only people I could ever talk to were through a headset

Outside of that, I do have and had IRL friends who I played with a lot (I got a few buddies who I regularly get online with that I see in real life as well), and occasionally I play with my brother

The rest of my family and I (including my brother) also have game nights. Mostly Mario Party and other Nintendo/Mario games

5. Ever use cheat codes?

I did actually, a few times for one game. I was getting tired of dying so quickly in Don’t Starve so I looked up how to spawn certain items in the chat box with codes and stuff. I think I accidentally impulse ended that run by trying to take on that spherical-cyclops-ostrich monster because I was getting cocky and... yeah 

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

Nothing off the top of my head! With the new wave of being able to have digital libraries especially. Even as a small child I kinda saw it as a waste, so I never had more than one copy of anything 

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

I don’t do that much online hunting anymore where I can voice chat, so nowadays, not really anymore, but back then, with all my Halo and other Xbox obsessions? All the time. My friends list is huge for a reason, and that’s because I never shut up lmao

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

There’s probably a lot of them, tbh. I watch a lot of Youtubers to get my fix for certain games that I don’t have the time or energy to play myself

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? 

Outside of “online friends I dropped because of getting older and more mature”, not really. I’ve lost friends, but never over video games

19. Favorite handheld console?

As cliche as it is, the Switch man, holy shit. The Switch is genuinely revolutionary to the world of video games, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live with out it

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

Hmm, if we were to go with “in general” the Pokemon franchise definitely. But if we want concrete numbers I can think of off the top of my head, Monster Hunter World is getting dangerously close to logging in 300+ hours, and following that (not very closely, mind you) would be something like Breath of the Wild or New Horizons

Listen, my friend begged me to get MHW to play with him and if there’s anything I’m grateful from him for, it would be his insistence that I get this game. It’s baller

29. What is your gaming set up?

This post is going to be twice as long because I saw the opportunity for pictures and I apologize for nothing

Computer is very basic. I don’t use my gigantic monitor for games though, because every monitor I’ve ever tried lags the hell out of my frames and I just can’t deal with that :/

Switch and Xbox! The two main consoles I play... pretty much the only ones. I had a PS3 briefly for Persona 5, but other than that, *jazz hands*

BUT THE BEST THING: I recently asked my dad to make me these controller-holding hooks for the headboard of my bed and they are the BEST THINGS EVER I love my dad

Bouns: the back of my Switch since I’m a sticker slut

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?

Any screen device is bound to give me headaches from time to time. Whether it’s from staring at the brightness for too long, or because my dumbass was laying/sitting in a position that was bad for my back/neck, I will probably never know

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?

Never touched it, and while I can’t give a personal opinion on how garbage it is or isn’t, I do like the jokes that come from it :D

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

Uh, you know what? I can’t really come up with anything. A long time ago I might have said “long, story-heavy games that take forever to complete” since I mainly watched those on Youtube, but now that I’ve played games like Persona 5 and Breath of the Wild and absolutely adored them, I don’t think I have a leg to stand on

I think I’m willing to give anything a try, but if I play it and it gets boring, then it was probably mostly because I didn’t like the story or because I couldn’t get behind the controls :P

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?

Yes, all the damn time. Homework in high school that I need to work on? Latest chapter of that fic I’m supposed to be writing? Nah, gotta find all the fossils on my island before I forget to do it later, cause we all know what’s really important here

47. Do you like competitive games?

Man, my Overwatch phase consisted heavily of the competitive aspect of the game, even if the competitive side was toxic as crap. Halo online is and was the shit, always had fun with a variety of the games they came up with. SMASH, SMASH WITH MY TWO BUDDIES I MENTIONED BEFORE IS SO MUCH GODDAMN FUN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW-

So TLDR, I do like the competitive aspect of video games a whole lot, even if the competitive stuff I mainly do nowadays is just me and my friends fighting each other in Smash at midnight lmao

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?

It depends on the pricing and what comes with the DLC. Each DLC is it’s separate thing, and you can really only judge them based on each individual game and what they are worth. Was the game mainly complete when you bought it? Does the DLC have actual worthwhile additions to the game itself? ETC ETC

I could make an entire essay out of this, but I’m kinda tired, and the best way to sum up my feelings is “DLCs aren’t inherently good or bad, and it sucks that certain unnamed companies have given them a dirty reputation”

59. Do you play any cell phone games?

Again with the used to. Huge mobile game phase for awhile (Clash of Clans, PUBG rip-offs, etc) but not anymore. I do have mindless, ad-riddled games if I’m bored, but even those are collecting dust at this point

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

Off the top of my head I cannot think of any time I have ever traded in a game, so I guess it looks like I keep them until they die or break lol

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

Man, I have a bunch. Video games were and still are a huge comfort thing for me, so to just share one would be blasphemy. Let’s just say, video games have always brought be joy and happiness during times when nothing else could :)

Ask the gamer more video game questions

[teddystrap]

[神なる君と] Spirit duo - Rei

なんかちょっとラストスパートな感じですけど…

Rei is the friendly spirit that Sakuya and co. met when they were investigating rumours about hauntings in the old school building. He’s arguably the most ‘mysterious’ character, since nothing is known about his former life, and I was super curious what his deal is. Not to mention he’s the final obstacle standing between me and Mikoto!! Ψ(￣∀￣)Ψケケケ

Truth be told he’s not really my type, though - since I’m not 15 anymore. I mean he’s a ghost but looks more like a forest elf / Mori Boy circa. 2001, and his voice sounds like it’s breaking. Compared to the other characters also he has a personality (or lack thereof) that is blander than konnyaku. In fact I found myself opening all the Yuzuru options in his common route first before going back and redoing them for Rei, because senpai saranghae I only wanna be wit u <3... 

Aaanyway.

-Mizuniwa Rei-

Rei-kun’s common route was actually quite revealing and interesting - in two of his ema, Mikoto actually asked to tag along, so it seemed like there might be some important information there idk. 

In his second ema, Mikoto tells Sakuya that she has the power to push people who are on the brink between Life and Death into one world or another, depending on what kind of guidance she gives.

Which in retrospect seemed like heavy foreshadowing for what’s about to come.

Fuu-san’s backstory was also revealed here:

Around 10 years ago, Fuu-san and his bff, a boy named Kawashina Yuuya, were students at Mikagurayama High School. One day they found a hidden basement storage room in the old school building, and turned it into their hang-out spot.

The basement used to be a bomb shelter, and had some books left over on occult spells and curses, that were used during the war to protect the townspeople. Fuu-san found a book with a spell to summon the powers of the Great Demon, and wanted to try it out of fun/boredom, but Yuuya was against it.

So Fuu-san did it by himself anyway. He got the sealed cursed box from the magical cave and took it back to the basement to perform the spell. Halfway through he passed out... and when he came to, he realised that Yuuya saved him by transferring the spell onto himself. 

Yuuya never woke up again, despite a lot of medical attention and whatnot. After half a year, Fuu-san decided to quit school and skip town to learn exorcism so that he can save his friend. But when he finally returned a few years later, Yuuya had already died...

Fuu-san lived with guilt all these years and thought that Yuuya died hating him. But when he went down to the basement with Sakuya to liberate his spirit, Yuuya’s spirit communicated through Sakuya that he doesn’t ever regret saving Fuu-san, and he hopes Fuu-san can stop blaming himself and go forward in life, smiling... By this point I was pretty much crying like a baby... ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД｀)･ﾟ･｡

Oh how I wish there was a Su-sa-no-o in my neighbourhood, with a sexy store-owner like Fuu-san... 

But we’re not here to court Fuu-san (I wish we could, mang. I wish we could), so let’s get back to Rei. In his route Sakuya tries to help him to find out about his family and his past. She asks Aki for help ofc, and Aki reports back that she couldn’t find anyone matching Rei’s description in the database of deaths, nor the missing persons list...

And the mystery deepens dun-dun-DUN. This would’ve made for an interesting story development,... except the writers totally abandon it and instead opt for Rei and Sakuya frolicking around in the forest, true to his Mori Boy style (wholesomely tho, since they are both underage XD). Then Rei realises that he’s not long for this world, and he tries to put some distance between them - but Sakuya eventually convinces him that they should spend his last remaining time on earth together and make lots of beautiful (wholesome) memories.

There were a lot of group events in his route, which was nice since I got to see Yuzuru-senpai mucho. (Although he’s not an option here obvsly T_T)

You know I will happily choke on a fish bone for you, senpai <3.

So hoshimatsuri night, Rei undergoes the ceremony to pass into the other world. Sakuya stays home, because she’s not strong enough to go and say goodbye to him. Is this like deja vu from the Yorihito/Nisei story arc or what?? ...After that, Sakuya goes to the old school building one day after school, and finds a note from Rei. SURPRISE - he’s still here.

...

It turns out that Sakuya’s, uhh, clinginess is keeping him from successfully departing. At this rate he’s going to grow weaker and weaker and become trapped in the interstitial space between two worlds - forever. They keep communicating through notes, and through voice chatting over radio, while Sakuya grows enough balls to finally let him go.

Eventually she does. Because let’s face it - Otomate can’t afford to pay their seiyuu to carry on a story for like two gajillion chapters.

In his final moment of departure, he appears to Sakuya in a dream, but they can’t hear each other’s voice. Just as Sakuya is freaking out, he pulls her in and kisses her, then disappears into the ether. (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)♡

...I guess Yuzuru and Rei’s routes don’t work the same way as Narumi and Yakumo’s, bc you don’t get the alternative ending by choosing the ‘wrong’ option for the last couple of choices. I wasn’t strong enough for senpai’s bad end, but I was actually pretty curious about Rei’s, although all the same I wasn’t able to unlock it. Either way I hope he didn’t get stuck in between worlds forever, poor kid has been through enough.

1. Good end: Fast forward 10 years, Sakuya becomes a teacher at Mikagurayama High School, just as Rei had hoped. She still goes to the garden every day to take care of Rei’s flowers. The old school building is about to be torn down because it’s too old and might be a safety hazard. She’s on her way there one last time... when she gets a call from Aki, who finally found out what happened with Rei’s past-life investigation 10 years ago. Unfortunately Aki trips on something and the line cuts off before we get to hear it. _(:3」∠)_

So Sakuya is there happily watering her flowers, when guess who appears - ahem *Rei*, now all grown up. He tells her that this time he’s not a spirit anymore... and the scene just ends there. I’ve seen a lot of abrupt endings but this has gotta take the cake. Although I’ll admit adult Rei is kinda sorta smoking hot, so less talk more making out!

[Thoughts] What can I say? This route really didn’t explain as much as I thought it would, although there were some good bits. For one, the Fuu-san backstory really got to me. Fuu-san was always the side character that I was most curious about, since he seems kind of... shady, and like he might’ve had a colourful past. His arc really delivered, and it’s my favourite out of all the four side stories, although I loved them all in their own way.

I was expecting to find out about Rei’s past here, but I guess the writers are saving it for Mikoto’s route / wrap-up, which almost certainly means there’s going to be a surprise revelation. So I am looking forward to that and I hope they don’t fuck it up.

The route itself actually felt like it was mostly stuff that belongs in a fandisk, rather than an individual character route. All the group hangouts, and scenarios that reveal idiosyncrasies about the other characters (e.g. everyone’s drawings in the Fuu-san arc. I finally got to see Yuzuru-senpai’s kawaii creations! :3).

Senpai’s art totally unleashes his inner otome...

As expected, Rei failed to give me any doki-doki feels... except at the end, where we saw grown-up Rei and got to hear Iguchi Yuuichi’s normal voice for like 2 seconds. (I wish this game had a fandisk bc I *definitely* need more of that!!) From the other character routes I got the sense that he’s an iyashi-kei type of guy, and he’s probably the most consistent out of all of them, because he continues being selfless and caring about Sakuya before himself throughout - e.g. helping her to find her future path despite not having one himself. 

Still I gotta admit, when he confessed that he liked Sakuya, I did a silent fist-pump in the air, because FINALLY here’s a guy who said it first. I’m so tired of always having to make the first move >;(

Also the thing that Narumi said really touched me here: that Rei would rather choose a lonely existence as a spirit trapped between two worlds for the rest of eternity, than force Sakuya to let him go. Even when he was weakening, he never said anything to Sakuya. In a way he was perhaps the most adult-like one out of all of them. Admittedly I didn’t like Sakuya very much in this route. She seemed very self-absorbed and immature, refusing to face the truth. But eventually Narumi kind of slapped some sense into her (figuratively ofc, I mean Narumi would never actually slap her XD) and she did choose to do the right thing.

...I guess Narumi is determined to be the guy that has a crush on her and ‘saves her’ one way or another in every route. Kudos to him but he’s still only, like, my third or fourth favourite lols.

Lastly, I felt that this route was actually the most poetic + metaphorical one so far. (Maybe the other ones were, too, and I just wasn’t paying attention?) ...The metaphor of flowers bearing seeds that blossom into new flowers, bearing witness to their relationship and carrying on their legacy. When they first met the flowers were newly planted, and when they said goodbye they were just about to wither. 

Also Sakuya and Rei always met after class at sunset, the time between day and night - like the space between Life and Death. Idk mang but that’s, like, really beautiful or sumshit.

But this is the most poetic thing of them all~!

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, LIA! You’ve been accepted for the role of PARIS with a faceclaim change to Jordan Bolger. Admin Rosey: Lia, you have no idea how happy we are to finally have a Priam in our midst. He’s a character that has always been very close to my heart because I love characters that you expect to be overlooked, shadowed by more gaudy and boisterous personalities. But you bring a subtle shine to Priam, like a dying star that’s about to explode and consume us all. Your plots for him make me especially excited because even then you bring his voice to life - you make him wholly yours while doing so. I can’t wait to see him on the dash! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | I’m Lia but my friends call me Lil Li Nasty. (not really :/)

Age | 20.

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her.

Activity Level | I’m able to login 3 to 4 days during the week for replies.

Timezone | EST.

Current/Past RP Accounts | You can look at this one if you’d like. ;-)

In Character

Character | The lovely Paris, AKA Priam Taravella. With a faceclaim change to Jordan Bolger.  

What drew you to this character? | Let’s be real, I’m a sucker for morally ambiguous characters with a ton of internal turmoil sdkflfdgk. But I’ve never played a character quite like Priam, which is what drew me to him even more? Like I’ve always played dreamy characters with their heads in the clouds, but this isn’t Priam whatsoever. He has no interest in dreaming, if it isn’t something attainable, then he wastes no time thinking about it. He’s almost practical to a fault, like come on dude you can have one dream! The sheer purposelessness that pervades through his being, his overwhelming desire to belong to something, to someone. All of this contrasted by his inability to understand the concept of love (after all, how can you truly understand something you’ve never experienced?) and his ever shifting principles. Priam is the epitome of someone who gets excited and does something consistently for two days then loses interest and finds something new a few days later aksdjsdlkf I love him for it!

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

il tipo volubile / the fickle fellow — everchanging are his ideas and everchanging are his loyalties. cosimo capulet gave him a sense of purpose and for that he’ll forever be thankful, but priam, ever the opportunist, is partial to whomever offers him the best opportunity. he doesn’t behave this way with the intention of appearing disloyal, but priam prioritizes his need to belong and find purpose over his loyalty. there’s no telling how far he’ll go to occupy his void and betrayal isn’t necessarily out of the question.

mobilità verso l'alto / upward mobility — priam is confident with his standing in the mob, and almost too comfortable with it. i’d be interested in a situation where he screws up, possibly compromising the mob, which will be almost unreal to him because he’s just used to everything going the way that he wants it for the most part? to also keep his position secure, i see him blackmailing a few people, caps and monts, so that’ll be something interesting i see playing out. ;-)

finché morte non ci separi / till death do us part   — just as priam had suspected, the montague heir had blossomed into reasonable competition. an attractiveness unrivaled by most, with a soft disposition outlining sharp features, everything verona wanted and more. him and the phan girl had made quite the handsome couple, her perceptiveness balancing out his altruism, but neither the montague heir nor the phan girl recognized this wasting potential. priam had every intention of turning his and juliana’s engagement into an opportunity, as this was a chance for them to play up their marriage to the veronans, affording them just enough of a peak into their lives that they await with watering mouths, for any other opportunity at sight. the least he could do for the pair of them was make them loved by many. and into oblivion will the montague heir fall. priam desires to be remembered to such a degree, that there simply won’t be enough room in the mind of verona for both of them. and he is actively working for this outcome.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes. >:-)

In Depth

In-Character Interview:

What is your favorite place in Verona? | We recommend looking at the location page and reading it over to figure out where your character’s favorite place is – if it’s not their own house/room.

He pondered the question for a moment, mouth pressed thoughtfully to his fist, before turning to the interviewer with a toothy grin. “There’s a garden on the Capulet estate, just west of the of the glass room.” Priam inclined backwards in his chair, perfectly manicured hands crossed in his lap, his eyes fixated on the wall reminiscently. “Juliana and I were first married there. She’d wanted a dress with a matching veil, but naturally her parents hadn’t approved, so she’d settled for the flower crown I made for her.” He’d been magnetizing. There was something about the way Priam carried himself, that just drew whoever he’d been speaking to in. His hands moved in unison with his words, the pictures building upon the story he told. “I made it out of yellow daisies. Tybalt officiated the marriage, and we’d done a butterfly kiss, and that was that. I intend on marrying her in that same garden.”

What does your typical day look like?

“Talking and more talking.” He chuckled purposefully. “In all seriousness, that’s what my job is. Knowing exactly what to say and in the right moment. It’s a delicate art form, you somehow have to make the other side satisfied, while simultaneously achieving the best possible outcome in favor of your own side.” He toyed with his Ferragamo cufflinks. “When I’m not doing that, I’m working with Cosimo. He’s practically taken me under his wing. I’ve learned so much in these past few years with him. He’s like a second father to me.” It had been an easy position to fill, with Priam’s own father being anything but. “When I’m not working, then I’m working out or spending time in nature. I’ve studied certain scenes so much that I could practically paint them from memory.” Priam had actually had his hand at painting, and while they’d been painted skillfully,per say, the complete lack of passion and lifelessness emitting from them had almost been disturbing.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

Something dark flashed across his countenance, as he recalled the Capulet soldier he’d nearly been caught disposing of. They’d been symbolic of the people who attempted to disrupt his path to wars spoils— the city and the throne. The bride. The notoriety. The name. “There was a time when I was younger,” he begun with pursed lips. “When I wore white socks and black shoes. My parents never let me hear the end of it. I haven’t made that mistake since.” Priam sinks into his seat, smiling humorously, beckoning the interviewer in with his silly, boyish hospitality. He hadn’t the time to dwell on the past or mistakes. Only of the now and what will propel him to the future.

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

Mixing family and work— always a tricky task. Something he learned he ultimately could not handle. It made way to Cosimo gifting him a canvas, giving Priam the opportunity to paint whatever portrait of himself he pleased. Give me at least one part politician and one part killer. That was all that he’d required of him. And thus he began his Capulet reign. “Not losing sight of myself amidst the chaos,” he responded thoughtfully, careful to speak just the right amount. “Becoming one with Verona requires a certain fee. You pay in the relinquishment of your humanity. And if you don’t voluntarily pay, then she’ll force it from you.” Priam, on the other hand, had been on a quest to sell his humanity to the highest bidder.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

“Inevitable. With great power comes great longing. No powerful person ever went without people desiring the power for themselves. And thus erupted a war.” This was one of those moments Priam had grown to appreciate, the ones where he’d been able to speak freely, from whatever parts of him that had remained authentic. He tilted his head with a raised eyebrow, lips etched into a teasing smile. “I’ve grown bored of your questions. Now, if there’s anything else outside of the interview you’d like to further discuss…”

Extras:

myers briggs: the commander (entj-a)

“Commanders are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal. However, Commanders are also characterized by an often ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves. Perhaps it is best that they make up only three percent of the population, lest they overwhelm the more timid and sensitive personality types that make up much of the rest of the world – but we have Commanders to thank for many of the businesses and institutions we take for granted every day.”

random brainstorming for priam.

muse tag.

playlist.

aesthetic—

cartier hoops, a poisoned tongue positioned between antidote lips, fickle values and fickler lovers, indefinite scowls, a pair of sunglasses for every day of the week, provocative realism, a tipsy crown (if it weren’t for the graff vivid yellow diamonds, it’s tilt might’ve been discernible), a gaping void, pompous vexation, flowery tattoos (the only evidence of permanence in your life), morsel of your true self, anything to belong, salvatore ferragamo’s limited edition loafers, an impassioned youth.

[cerastes]

I dedicate to this to everyone who has let their dreams of writing die.

This is pretentious, or maybe vain, and I apologize if it comes across that way, I do not intend for this to be like that at all, as aside from narcissism in jest, I really think people should retain humility while still accepting and acknowledging their own good points, but when I log into my writing blog, sometimes I see a message like this and it’s wholly disarming. I know it seems like I am making a big deal out of what is basically a compliment, but hear me, I decided to not share my writing online again after some really bad stuff happened, on a personal level and on an artistic level. You may perhaps not believe me due to the way I carry myself, but I am very, very meek about my writing. Literature is something I have an eye and a passion for, and since I know good literature when I see it, it makes it terrifying when I finish writing something, because I know the flaws. It’s kinda like how graphical artists see their awesome finished products and say “this sucks” because they know real good illustrations, that, too, happens with writers, and oh man, it’s terrifying. To add to that, my previous relationship more or less began and crashed down in flames because of writing. My quality as an artist took a dive because I grew complacent, and because I focused on producing just one thing, and one thing only, something that satisfied my partner, and then I realized that despite my popularity in that community and the praise, it all felt hollow. I had not taken a step up, I took a step down. What used to be a mere exercise for my own amusement, that is, purple prosing, which is objectively terrible but it’s oh so fun to do, like eating a greasy hamburger, became more or less my modus operandi. That’s not good. It was all stagnant, it was fun, it was a cheap thrill, but part of me knew I was really just wasting away when I could be improving. That was a big part of my overhauling the blog in that RP community to just become user-drive stories: People would send asks with quite literally whatever content in the message and I would turn them into hopefully fun and neat reads, usually based on humor, and a bit later, it was time to close up shop, because the community had all really gone to shit and, sans a couple of exceptions, everyone whose skills I respected were already gone or just not into it anymore, plus, I had been writing in the Gensokyo setting for far too long. I needed a break, both from it and the bad memories that writing for the character in itself brought (because the character is intricately involved with another character, the source of my problems, and I will never, ever write a character in a vacuum or extirpate an essential part of them for personal reasons).

After that, I kind of just put the pen down. I felt afraid, honestly, because I knew anyone with writing chops could see past the hot air and the purple. I kept my daily writing exercises up for a few days and then I just gave up. In part, I was focusing fully on truly getting better from my depression, on which I was making really good progress, especially after a rather harsh and spectacular break up threatened to push me back in, thus needing my full attention, but another part was, really, that I was just so furious with myself that I couldn’t bring myself to write. A part of why I had made another “identity” when making that blog, aside from a joke aimed at some people, was so that I could start from zero, so it wouldn’t be me just being like “hey guys go follow my new blog give it attention please!”. I really disliked that attitude. You have to earn your reader base, not guilt trip for it. There was a period in that community which consisted of people making blog after blog for whatever fucking character or version of a character they could make, putting “HEY THIS IS MY NEW BLOG” on the main Skype, enjoying 2 days of attention, and then proceeding to whine forever because they ran out of inauguration-slash-pity asks. That’s no way to improve. I wanted to start from zero. Big fat irony that then I grew insecure because, damn it, I could put out drabbles and what not but I’d probably be, I don’t know, pity likes or “I know you” likes. A mess. I didn’t want that. That, coupled with my immense dislike of my own writing quality, put me off writing for a long time.

Just last year, at the end of the year, I decided, hey, it’d be cute if I put up some stuff. I mean, I made the ‘ideablog’ and I hadn’t used it at all (an attempt at trying to share my stuff again that failed initially as I was too afraid), might as fucking well, because if I have a redeeming quality, that’s just going through with whatever comes to mind at any given point. Reception has been surprisingly... Existent. It’s been good, and the praise and opinions I’ve received both publicly and behind closed doors has been both empowering and enlightening, but, I just think it being there at all has been out of my calculations. Aside from this message, I’ve also been asked if I have my stuff organized in a Dropbox for quick downloading so it could be loaded as an e-book and, if not, if I gave my authorization to do it. Another message I received was if I accepted commissions. What the hell do I say to that? It’s wholly disarming and moving, I couldn’t be happier. No one is more critical of my writing than I am, and next thing I know, someone says they’d pay for it. I’m not trying to blow my horn here, it’s just, fucking hell, I am so happy that I didn’t give up entirely, that I came back for the pen, and that the pen waited for me. I want that to reach you, I want you to know that not giving up has been the correct decision. I am lowkey shedding tears right now because, fuck, I love writing, what the fuck, I really was gonna let this go, but I am so fucking happy I didn’t, and on top of that, other people enjoy what I have to show? It’s paid off both personally and artistically to keep at it? Holy hell.

Just, please, don’t give up writing. It’s hard, it’s not immediate like seeing a drawing is (which means no disrespect to graphic artists at all), it’s no walk in the park or a cake in the walk or a piece of the cake, but it’s worth it. Rather, “don’t give up writing” is not fundamentally my message here as much as “don’t give up your art”. If it’s drawing, writing, composing, sculpting, whatever, don’t give it up. It pays off. You really have to go in it and give it the hardest try you can, whatever it is, your utmost effort, and it’s not easy, but look, all that aside? It’s about you enjoying it.

You’ll never reach perfection, but that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t try, and you should shoot for the moon anyways, because if you land it, you kill the moon and you do us all a favor, but if you miss, hell, you still land among the stars. People really don’t want perfection, they want a good read. That’s easy to understand as a reader, but difficult to get as a writer. I think getting it as a writer, however, only pushes you to become a better writer than striving and inevitably failing to reach perfection does. At least, it’s what I’ve learned.

And for those of you who have become discouraged because you saw others do something close or similar to what you wanted to do, and in some cases, an almost identical concept? Do it anyways. Take it from me: Ideas and concepts are a dime a dozen. It’s the execution that really matters. The world has not seen what YOU do with that idea. You have not seen what you do with that idea. Maybe you have in your brain, but haha, let me tell you, what ends on paper tends to be wholly different than what initially was in your head. It tends to be better. You’ve not seen that. Everyone can imagine the perfect Olympic pirouette, but doing it is what matters. Everyone can imagine the perfect football kick, the perfect boxing straight, the perfect baseball pitch, but what does that matter if we don’t bring that imagination into a tangible form? That’s what writing is, after all, it’s our ability to show others what goes in our brains and hearts, what it is that inspires us. You don’t want to write because you got inspired, you want to write because you got inspired and want to give it shape.

So get writing.

So get making art.

Do it for yourself, and others will love it, I promise.

I’m not saying it’s as easy as just doing, but doing is the first step. You need to work hard to improve, and you need to both be confident enough to know you did a good job, yet humble enough to know you’ve got room for improvement (and hopefully, where it is you’ve got room for improvement). You can worry about improving after you get to the “doing” stage, however.

And if you gave up, please, consider giving it another try.

You never know who is out there waiting for your product. Only one way to find out.

[rebelwheels-blog]

Little Sparrow Freed From Its Cage

September 24, 2018

Per aspera ad astra - Through adversity to the stars

Hello there everyone! I have quite a bit of news to share with all of you lovely readers, as it has been quite a while since my last update. Hopefully my writing habits will be a bit more consistent now, due to the main reason I am writing this update. So grab a cup of tea, or coffee for you Americans, and be prepared for a lengthy blog entry.

Commencement to Independence

For the longest time, it was my belief that graduation was just another event where I would only witness others experience the joy of being released from the dictatorship of homework and the school setting.

Much of my student experience has been infringed upon due to various circumstances; whether illness was to blame, being placed in classes my superiors wrongly believed I belonged, or unwillingly leaving the only place I called home, as well as exiting the lives of many I held and hold close in my heart.

Not everyone experienced the same scenario as I did, which is wonderful. Even so, for much of my life there was a common denominator.

Adversity.

Due to my disability, my experiences and memories of the school setting are extremely unconventional.

Which leads to the less self-pitying part of my screed. If it weren’t for all those obstacles, and more, throughout my existence as a student, graduation would not grant me the same satisfaction and pride as it does now to declare to you all that I am no longer a high school student. September 21, 2018 was the day I was set free.

Although there are plenty of memories I have to look back on that made my school days less dreary, so I shall not admit that every second of my years at school were terrible, as I had the good fortune of making a few friends along the way as well as learning some lessons that allowed me to grow as a person.

So I thank all of you who have stuck with me through the good times and the not so good times, because I couldn’t have made it here without you.

I’d especially like to thank my first teacher who set me on the right path to homeschooling. You know who you are, with your huge green duffel bag full of wonderful toys each day as we sat in the garden room. Thank you for always being there for me academically and as a friend. You mean the universe to me.

Every experience and every person that one encounters affects the future, individually and worldly, good or bad, long or short. Because, who knows? Maybe one day someone who experienced something they perceived as awful will change the life of another so someone else will never experience what was already lived through by another.

Celebration?

To celebrate this momentous occasion, my grandmother and I designed what would normally have been the top of my cap to go along with my gown.

Then we made a message in a bottle, with the message being the poem The Road Not Taken as it is our favorite poem.

But the most important component to all of this is the timing of everything that has unfolded over the past few weeks.

Enjoy the first ever gif I have ever created, of course it’s to do with Stephen

I managed to finish the last of my exams the day directly before my grandmother’s birthday, which was coincidentally purposefully happened to be on my cousin’s birthday. Then, on Friday, I was officially set free from my classes on the birthday of my great grandfather. Everything took place over the course of three days, and three birthdays of three people that mean the world to me.

Funnily enough, exactly one week to the day, another event unfolded spontaneously. I was granted the most amazing graduation gift. A friend, a very old friend, of tremendous significance and value to me. We had not seen each other in almost nine years, but we always kept in touch. Last Wednesday, we broke our hiatus and had lunch together with our grandparents. I felt like I was in a dream. I couldn’t believe we were even in the same room. He has seen my old self, my pathetic self, and my happy self, and he never left. He’s one of a kind and I don’t know what I would do without him. Making him laugh after taking a nervous drink of water while we were at lunch and burping due to my liquid consumption was one of the highlights of our visit together. Hopefully we won’t have such a lengthy hiatus between seeing each other again, which neither of us believe will happen. I already can’t wait to see him again.

Then on the Saturday following that Wednesday, I swam with my other best friend who happened to come home from college that weekend. I honestly don’t remember the last time we just chilled out in the pool, or anywhere, and hung out like two normal teenage girls. Granted I did complain quite a bit about school work after we got out and had lunch, but that wasn’t the entire visit. It felt so normal to just hang out with my best friend, and I can’t thank you enough (you know who you are if you’re reading this). I couldn’t have asked for a better way to finish my classes.

But graduation is supposed to be a big deal, right? A huge celebration is supposed to take place, right? Well, I honestly have no idea how else to celebrate my accomplishment. I would love to have a party and do something the way everyone else does, but many of my friends and family live far, far away. So out goes that idea... Nevertheless, if no other celebration takes place, I am forever grateful for being able to visit with my friend from New Jersey thanks to his and my grandparents.

Moving Forward

Now that I have soooo much time on my hands, I don’t know what to do with it! Well, I do, but it’s only been almost a week since I finished my classes and it’s still rather odd. I spent the weekend creating and improving a sort of sketch that puts together my Halloween costume. Yes, I’ll be 19 by then and many will say I’m too old to do Halloween, but you know what? Adults are allowed to dress up and have fun too. Halloween is not just about the candy, well not to me anyway. To me, it’s about letting yourself be free to be whatever you want to be for one day of the year. As it seems that it is only socially acceptable to dress up when one is an adult around Halloween, if one were to dress up any other day of the year you end up being labeled as a psychopath.

Okay, maybe not a psychopath, but anyone dressed up as a character or dramatic makeup is worn outside a concert, theatre club, comic convention, or Halloween, etc., side glances and glares will be made.

I decided that I will be dressing up as my own version of Sherlock, as long coats are as much of a pain to get on as a dress. I have a few components of my costume together, but I still need the hat, scarf, and maybe shoes? I may just go with a pair of short boots that I have as finding shoes in my size is an entirely different story.

I wasn’t sure if the coat I had would look Sherlockian enough, so I decided that I would put together a sketch of my outfit to see how it would look. So I put this together.

Originally, as you can see, there was no face. But I worked on it and worked on it over the past few days and this the outcome. In the beginning I did trace the undershirt, but that’s it. I figured out the rest. I’m very proud of it, as it is the first drawing I’ve done in quite a while that I haven’t gotten angry with.

Having this freedom has made me realize that after a few days of numbly looking at social media, I am suddenly craving to learn new information and I miss my math and science classes. I think that within the next week I will unconsciously start to read books again just from the slight need I’ve had to expand my knowledge again. Maybe I’ll even start writing stories again due to new knowledge, as I have written down a few ideas for short stories the past few days. In the words of a good friend, the possibilities are endless.

Spinraza News

Luckily I have school finished to get through my next injection. I was reminded that I have to go through re-approval from the insurance, making my injection date is a week later than I wanted. This week I have to get blood drawn again as well as other tests.

Speaking of tests, I had to do a strength test last week, my first one after having Spinraza. My results have to either stay the same or improve in order for the insurance company to say I can keep having Spinraza. Needless to say, I was terrified that I wasn’t going to improve due to their standards. I’ve noticed more strength in my legs than my arms, granted my right arm is noticeably stronger, but I did not anticipate the evidence the strength test would grant me.

The first test was to tear a sheet of paper. No big deal, right? Wrong. I had to try to tear a piece of paper that was folded four times. I tried and it didn’t happen. So my physical therapist unfolded it so it was in half. I believed that I was trying to tear it wrong as I was using my nail to start the tear. But I was wrong. That’s how you physically tear a sheet of paper when you pinch it. So when it cooperated and I split the paper down the middle, I was like “okay, I could totally do that before Spinraza.” Again, I was wrong. When I did the baseline test, I was able to rip the paper but only if:

it was started for me

it was a single sheet unfolded

it only ripped sideways not straight down

My physical therapist kept my old paper and showed it to me to prove that I had improved. After I saw the paper, I felt like Captain America

Go ahead, enjoy that gif because Tumblr doesn’t allow more than 10 images so that’s the last one guys

Once I completed that question of the test, the test was gravy. I was actually able to do other things as well such as:

lifting a weight I couldn’t before

completing a short maze test without stopping my pen

pressing a stupid light button and making it stay on

opening a container that was entirely too difficult when I tried six months ago

I gained 5 points in the scoring system, from 11 to 16 points. I still can’t get over it. So much has been going on the past... Well, year, honestly. Between myself and my family members, it’s been nonstop.

Well, I think I’ve written enough for this update, probably too much... But whatever, if you guys enjoy these updates you don’t mind. If you don’t enjoy them... Well... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Endgame-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 1)

Lessgoooo

Okay so I lost like the entirety of my post when my phone died so whoopsie. Lots of sadness for nebula, Tony, Scott Lang, and Thor. Frustration with time travel because no movie ever gets it right, yadda yadda they are about to go back in time to get the stones.

Whatever it takes. Hoo boy

“See you in a minute” AGHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO AGGHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Gonna cry ago... ughhhhh nooooo

Back in 2012 babyyyyyy

Lmao smart hulk embarrassed at the much cooler hulk

Cmon smart hulk is so lame compared to op hulk

Oh cool that the ancient one was fighting off chitauri

She’s smart huh

Out of body experience

Fatty thor

LOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Jane!

Sad but Thor

Oh momma dearest

She’s looking out for Loki getting him soup and books

Go say good bye to her Thor!

Rocket slap him

Good rabbit

Yea rocket!!!

Lmao poor Thor. He’s been on earth too long.

Go say bye to Frigga.

Morag okay

Last time they’re gonna see Nat...

Nebula and Rhodey duo

These smiles ain’t gonna last forever...

My heart...

Old Gamora again

Ugh this guy again... Thanos.. just die...

Poor nebula. Okay how the heck is nebulas camera connected... oh poor nebula... Dangit time travel...

Loki babyyyyyyyyy

That’s America’s ass

Ew strike team

These plebs

Right to hydra...

They do look like bad guys

Loki baby

I miss you so much.

Flick me

Lmao

Free fall

Thank you hulk for not taking the elevator and giving us Loki.

Hail Hydra.

That was easy lmao.

I too hate stairs hulk.

My beautiful Loki

Axe body spray lmao. So that’s what he wears for years. Where even Loki can tell there’s two starks in the room.

I’m so happy to see Loki again.

Poor past Tony. Heart attack.

Lmao Loki knows somethings up

RUN AWAY LOKI DO IT

Yesssssssssssssssssss

Hahahahahahahahaha and thus the show happens

Steve stop swearing

Oh lmao old cap thinks new cap is Loki

“I can do this all day.” “Yea I know... I know.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA our Steve sounds so whiney lmao

Oh sure throw away the shield and scepter why don’t ya.

Ouchhhhhhh

Peggy compass

BUCKY!!!

Lmao he mind controlled himself

Stop checking out your own ass Steve 😂😂😂

Soooo does the ancient one know about the TVA? Those timelines and branching look a lot like the TVA timelines.

Uh oh. Bruce. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that?

Or?

Oh no.

Oh phew okay.

Wasn’t the ancient one black in the comics?

Oh poor nebula again... she literally can’t not be suffering...

Why is she on a network lmao.

Oh no. Please don’t hurt these other nebulas. AGGHHHHHHH

Lmao enhance

Oh dear oh dear please just let nebula catch a break

Frigga!!!!

Frigga is very perceptive

AHHHHH IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

Lmao so Jane is gonna get the aether removed. I wanna see Steve going back and having to inject the aether back into her lmao.

Lmaoooo why do they keep calling rocket a rabbit

Thank you momma Frigga

Lmao just taking this Thor’s hammer

Okay that’s so sweet. He’s so surprised he’s still worthy

Lmaooo

Peter quill is back

What a dork lmao I love him so much

Annnndddd smack!

What’s that light orb you’re holding Rhodey?

Sorry Rhodey but movies aren’t reality

Ouch. You good nebula?

Poor girl.

I love this duo.

Quick escape go

Oh no

Oh no

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand suddenly Thanos’ moral compass is gone. Now he’s gonna try to kill everyone. Poor nebula...

Please let her be!!!!!

Guys grow up

Brain time cmon

Poor Scott lol

New Jersey babyyyyy

Was that stan Lee?

How’d they get access to the compound lol

Aaaaawwwwwwkwwwwaaard

Awwww dad

Howard Potts

Hug please

Yesss the classic antman helmet

Pym particles. How lucky they are compatible.

Man poor Tony he wants so badly to tell his dad.

Whaddya see cap?

AWWWW PICTURES OF HIM ON PEGGY’S DESK

Peggy!!!!

Oh man

Steve don’t be a creep. She can probably see you. It’s a window.

Poor Bucky lmao...

Awwwww Tony and Howard. Man.

HUGGGGGG AWWWWW

Jarvis hahaha nice

Howard is gonna be quite confused when his son starts looking like that random dude

NO NEBULA

Aghhhhhhhh

Please let her be...

No!!!!

Wait so how does good nebula come back from this?????? AHHHHHHH

Vormir? Oh no... I’m not ready to cry again...

Please no....

Piss off red skull

No.... please no.... why... who built this dumb tower?????

No no no no no no no no no

Whatever it takes...

Nat...

Clint...

I’m gonna cry.

I’m crying.

I know people say it should have been Clint but this is the hero’s way.

Fight to the death, but for their own death...

I’m crying I’m crying.

Nat...

“Let me go.” “It’s okay.”

I’m crying so badly

I’m crying Even more than for Loki idk why. I think it’s because we saw Nat more and learned more about her. But I love them both so much.

Rest In Peace Nat... we won... your sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.... I promise...

I’m crying again they’re all finding out about Nat

Oh my gosh I’m sobbing like a mess

Give her a damn funeral

I’m sorry thor... but dead is dead.

I’m crying so badly.

Poor hulk.

Poor Nat.

Poor everyone.

Honor her.

Nebula, please... know your character development. You saw other hers memories

My face is literally soaked with tears oh my gosh...

You can do this hulk... do it for Nat.

Dammit nebula please...

AGGHHHHHHH NEBULA CMON

Specify comes home safely please

Thumbs up from Thor

NEBULA STOP

AGHHHHHHHH

Where’s good nebula? She better be okay.

Who’s phone?

Go get your gf Scott

Clint go to your family

Oh no

Thank God Tony activated that armor thing huh? Too bad he took it down immediately.

Look, I hate Thanos. And his morals completely flipped after learning he died. But no matter what, it’s better than his comics’ motivation. In the comics he literally did it do, guess what? IMPRESS LADY DEATH. Thanos was such a simp in the comics he committed cross universal genocide JUST to impress death who is a corporal being.

Thanos don’t be lazy

Sister bonding time

Poor nebula. Hug her please. YEA GAMORA BABY

At least we are done with the time travel.

Okay, Thanos has no power here, please just kill him now and quickly.

Just do it... please...

Nice beard thor. Didn’t know lightning acts as a hair stylist

Oooh I like the music here as they approach Thanos. Very Zelda boss like.

Just kill him. Stop the monologuing.

“Now, I know what I must do.” Ooh? Double the resources like you should have in the first place? “I will shred this universe down to its last atom...” oh...

Thanos... use your brain. There has to be one somewhere under that purple mound you call a head.

Why are you guys just watching him and listening to him monologue. Just kill him already. Should’ve killed him before he put on the armor ya dummies.

How is Thanos, now without any stones, able to put up a fight? Against all of them in when Thor could take him down when he had all of the stones?

Save em Scotty!

Clint living his own alien isolation experience

Yeaaaaa that’s not the nebula you know Clint...

Cmon Gamora

Lmao poor Clint so confused

Oh. Nebula killed herself to save Gamora. TVA where are you huh? Shouldnt all of these guys from the past be considered variants???

HOW IS THANOS PUTTING UP A FIGHT AGAINST THOR WITH MJØLNIR AND STORMBREAKER ALL WHILE NOT HAVING ANY INFINITY STONES, BUT WHEN HE DID HAVE THE INFINITY STONES, EVEN EARTHLING TONY STARK PROVIDED A STRUGGLE BUT THOR, CAP, AND TONY CANT TAKE DOWN AN INFINITY STONE-LESS THANOS????

Okay okay fine whatever. I know it wouldn’t make for an interesting movie if they killed him quick.. but then Tony wouldn’t die...

Oh

My

Gosh

HELL YEA CAPTAIN AMERICA WITH MJOLNIR

So does storm breaker not have the same rules as mjolnir with only those worthy being able to wield it?

Okay so I know that in thor 1, Odin made it so that “whosoever wields this hammer shall have the powers of Thor” so that would provide an explanation for why Steve Rogers can use the lightning when holding it, but in gagnarok, Thor is told he doesn’t get his powers from the hammer? It just helped him? So is it both? Or are we retconning? That also reminds me, Odin says Hela draws her power from Asgard like Thor does, so destroying Asgard would stop her. Why doesn’t it stop Thor? Aghhhh whatever...

STEBE ROGERS IS SO BAD ASS OH MY GOSH I ALWAYS LOVED HIM

Ouch stab the leg

Bye bye shield I guess... dang... so like, how does sam Wilson get a shield?

Cmon Steve, you can do this all day, right?

Grab the hammer.

HOW IS THANOS BEATING THEM WITHOUT THE DAMN STONES BUT WHEN HE HAS—sorry, I just can’t get over this. Thanos does not have a consistent power range...

Thanos, I hate you. I will laugh when you die.

Thanos you are such a hypocrite. From wanting balance to literally being find with outright anger killing.

I can do this all day. Cmon cap. Say it.

It’s just the chitauri. Blow up the mother ship.

SAM

Sam

Sam

ON YOUR LEFT OH MY GOSH

CHILLS

CHILLS

CHILLSSSSSS

BLACK PANTHER BABY!!!!!

FALCON FUTURE CAPTAIN AMERICA

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

SPIDER MAN

Bucky? Where u at?

THERE YOU ARE

WANDA!!!!

HOPE!!!!

PEPPER!!!!!

BIG ANT MAN AND HULK AND ROCKET AND WAR MACHINE

LESSSSGOOOOO

Avengers...

Assemble

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOSEBUMPS

I have such a stupid grin on my face

I am so ready to watch wanda wipe the floor with Thanos gosh I hate him

How did Thanos bring everyone here? He only had like one thing of pym particles.

Dang pepper how did you get so good at that?

“No no give me that. You have the little one.” Oh my gosh I love this interaction so much.

Okay so I love Bucky and I know him using a gun is more realistic and practical here, but I wish we could see him using his assassin skills and arm more since it was such a big deal when they gave it to him...

Pepper and Tony fighting side by side

PETER AND TONY REUNITE AHHHHH

Peter shut up and hug him

Peter is so precious

Fight quill fight!

GAMORA

Poor Peter... this isn’t YOUR Gamora. Man I feel bad for him

Van to the rescue!!!

Hope Scott kiss

Aw man

Dang strange you got some powers

Let’s get this thing fixed

Ouch

Ya “bad” nebula is dead

Clint and T’Challa on a name basis now. Nice improvement from Civil War.

Part 2

[scrawnydutchman]

Some Issues with Gravity Falls

 MAJOR KNITPICKING AHEAD! ALSO SPOILERS!

So here’s a joke for ya: who has two thumbs and missed out on one of the biggest animation bandwagons in recent years? THIS GUY! It took me a while to get around to this show for a number of reasons. Work, making my own animations, checking out other things, shear laziness, etc etc. But I finally got around to watching all of Gravity Falls; the revolutionary mystery show considered to be one of the best to hit television in recent years. So what did I think of it overall?

I think it was great . . . . if only a little . .  . problematic . . . at times.

Alright, now I can already hear the sharpening of pitchforks from here. With any luck it’ll be the Stan corporate brand known for falling apart instantly. Just know I actually like this show a lot. It’s visually stunning, especially the backgrounds and lighting and the animation on Bill Cipher. It features an immense talent in it’s voice acting cast including some of my favorite people like Matt Chapman, Justin Roiland, a cameo of Larry King and even a cameo from Louis C.K. (okay well . . . it was a lot cooler before I found out he’s a sexual harasser but y’know). It’s very funny, with consistently witty dialogue and characters. Especially Soos. Everything Soos says is genius.

Beyond that the mystery is very interesting, the conclusion is ultimately satisfying, and I genuinely like all of these characters. But that doesn’t mean this show is flawless, and since everybody praises this show for pretty much the same reasons and going more in depth on the good points would just be preaching to the choir, I want to draw emphasis to some issues I think are worth talking about. Because even for the very best shows, if it’s too sacred to criticize than it’s also too sacred to evolve. It’s important to accept how you could have done better so we can get even BETTER shows than Gravity Falls in the future. Anyhoo, I’ve stalled long enough. Let’s get into it.

1. More than a few fakeouts in consequences

So to many people this is a very “big stakes” sort of show, and in all fairness it isn’t hard to see why. The show literally ends with the world going to pure chaos for more than a few days and with some really morbid imagery such as a throne made of stonified people. And that’s honestly not even the creepiest image here. This show also has a lot of dramatic twists and turns such as the dilemma of whether or not Dipper will leave Mabel to pursue a career in paranormal research alongside his Grunkle Ford, whether or not Grunkle Stans memory is lost for good, whether or not Soos can cope with his father never being around, whether or not Mabel can take Waddles the Pig back home with her, etc etc. But the issue is this show has a tendency to imply consequences without completely following through with them. Stanley’s memory comes back to him in the end (which begs the question did Bill have a chance of surviving?). Soos went to go play catch with his dad in Mabel’s simulation, despite there being an entire episode prior dedicated to the lesson that if Soos’ dad couldn’t make the sacrifice to be there for him on his own than he isn’t worth the time (that episode is my favorite btw and the reason Soos is my favorite character). So it’s like he threw everything he learned in that episode out the window. Mabel has a scene where she has to tell Waddles to stay behind in Gravity Falls . . . only for her Grunkles to ensure he comes. But quite possibly the worst offender in this category is the whole thing about Dipper deciding to stay with Mabel and giving up his desire to become a paranormal investigator. The shows been teasing the idea of Dipper and Mabel being divided for a while, especially with the contrast between them and the Stan brothers. But the whole reason the Stan brothers were divided in the first place was because Stanley put his own needs before what his brother really wanted and, frankly deserved to have. Had he been honest with Ford about breaking his machine and giving him time to fix it, the whole Bill Cipher thing would’ve never happened and, even if they had to spend time apart, the tare between them wouldn’t have been as bad. Similarly, had Mabel just been more understanding of her brothers feelings the Weirdmaggedon would have never happened either. And honestly, I think the idea of the twins going their separate ways would have been a much realer message. Yes, family is important and yes, Dipper may act selfishly at times too. But a fact of real life is, no matter how tight you are with your family, it’s VERY rare for you to want to stay on the same path forever. Because Mabel and Dipper are very different people. They have different aspirations, different outlooks, different wants and needs. There’s nothing wrong with that and their differences don’t HAVE to divide them completely. They’ve proven that time and time again. But nope. Status quo is God. After Mabel’s selfishness literally left the world in ruin it’s DIPPER who ultimately makes the compromise in his own life dreams to set everything right. Considering how often Dipper makes compromises for her anyway (as pointed out by Bill Cipher) it honestly kind of left me bitter. It’s especially ironic because the whole point of Mabels fantasy world episode is getting Mabel to accept that time passes and happy moments in life can’t last forever . . but she ultimately gets what she wants anyway. You see what I mean by there being no real stakes?

Now, granted this is a Disney show and Disney has a reputation for fakeout deaths and implied consequences with no real follow through. Just look at their lineup of animated movies. But Gravity Falls actually has a reputation for being a very dramatic show, and consistently more adult than most childrens programming. It challenges a lot of kids sensibilities anyway, so it’s kind of disappointing that it falls back on some typical TV cliches of “maintain status quo” like tons of shows do. Also, I just think the whole idea of Dipper and Mabel staying together because they think wanting different paths will tare them apart is honestly kind of a bad message.

2. Some inconsistencies here and there

Okay, so I’m about to step into some knitpicky territory here. You’ve been warned. Inconsistencies between show episodes is really nothing new, and for that reason strong continuity is always praised. But Gravity Falls is a very unique case in that it’s narrative thrives on being consistent with all the things that have happened in the past. That’s why in the finale all the monsters of Gravity Falls and all the things that were foreshadowed come back in one big grand fight with Bill Cipher. There’s also clever little additions like how the time travel guy makes cameos in episodes prior to his first official appearance. So it’s obvious that small details are very important to the structure of the show. But unfortunately that’s kind of a double edged sword as it trains your audience to purposely look for bits of information only to find some things to the contrary. One that comes to mind for me is the finale when the Stan brothers change clothes to trick Bill Cipher. There’s a zoom in of the hand of Stanley wearing Fords clothes as he shakes Bill’s hand. The issue is . . . it still has six fingers somehow. And actually that’s a consistent detail for as long as Stanley is wearing Ford’s clothes. I’ve heard the argument that because it’s Ford’s gloves that’s why the extra appendage is there (which begs the question where do you get 6 fingered gloves?), but if that were the case it would have been a nice touch if they purposely made the pinky finger of the glove look limp, like there’s nothing in there. Would have been nice foreshadowing for the twist that’s coming.

*I wanted to put a gif here but didn’t know what I should pick. Settled with this.*

Beyond little things like that there’s also little character inconsistencies. Like in the episode “A Tale of Two Stans” Stanley tells Ford to stay away from his family so as to not put them in danger, only for Ford to start hanging out more with Dipper anyway and Stanley says nothing. Again, kind of knitpicky stuff and in any other show I’d probably be more forgiving of it, but this is the kind of show that demands this level of attention. 

Really, that’s all I got against this show. It’s still some of the best quality animation to hit the airwaves in sometime, and it gets many things right that a lot of shows don’t, either because they unfortunately aren’t handled with the most care by their network or because the creators didn’t take the best route they could. It definitely still deserves the praise it gets and it still delivers on a lot of what it promises, and it’s also just in general a lovably original idea. There are just some ways I wish it went instead.

[wenative]

Japanese Writing System for Beginners

To complete beginners of Japanese the writing system can seem very intimidating. Learning the 2,000+ characters necessary to become literate in Japanese may seem a Herculean task impossible to overcome. And then to make things worse what about the lack of spaces, and isn’t sometimes written from right to left?! How is anyone, let alone a non-native, supposed to learn how to read this language?!

Trust me, it’s not nearly as hard as it sounds. Anyone can teach themselves the Japanese writing system; it simply takes time and practice. In this article I’m going to introduce the three Japanese scripts, the most efficient ways to learn them, and other things that beginners should know as they embark on their Japanese learning journey.

Japanese Writing System Explained

The Japanese Writing System consists of three scripts: Hiragana, Katakana, and Kanji. Hiragana and Katakana are both 46-character syllabaries, and are collectively referred to as Kana. Each syllabary consists of the same exact sounds, but differ in their usage. Kanji are logographic characters adopted from Chinese, each with its own intrinsic meaning. There are thousands of them, and you need to know about 2,000 to be literate.

Something you’ll quickly notice is that there are no spaces in Japanese. The reason is because Japanese has three different scripts, which quickly makes it easy to tell where words begin and end. As a result, there is no need for spaces.

Japanese can be written in two directions: horizontal and vertical. Horizontal works the same as English; you read from left to right. When written vertically, which is the traditional writing style, it is read from right to left, top to bottom. Most Japanese you encounter today will be written horizontally, but you will find vertical Japanese in books, on TV, and other places.

Learning the Japanese Writing System Efficiently

Learning Kana

Learning Hiragana and Katakana is very simple and shouldn’t take you longer than two weeks of 1-2 hours of practice a day. The easiest way to learn them nowadays is by using a phone app, of which there are plenty to choose from.

The one I recommend is called “TenguGo Kana Hiragana Katakana”. This is my favorite because it includes lessons, stroke orders, pronunciation audio, quizzes, and more. You should supplement the app with some writing practice by drawing out the characters from memory with pencil and paper.

Learning Kanji

It takes considerably longer to learn Kanji, but there are several proven methods you can use to learn them in a reasonable amount of time. I highly recommend a book called “Remembering the Kanji” by James W. Heisig, which I used to learn all 2,200 jōyō Kanji (common use Kanji) in just eight months.

“Remembering the Kanji” teaches you how to make mnemonics (mental tricks to help with memorization) to help you remember the meaning of each character. I created 11 new mnemonics a day, and used a flashcard program called Anki to test myself on them. After repeating that process every day for eight months, I memorized all the meanings of the jōyō Kanji. Eight months may sound like a long time, but all it takes is a little practice every day.

The downside to this method is that you only learn the meaning of each character, and not the readings. My opinion though is that this doesn’t really matter. You will naturally pick up on readings as you learn vocabulary. Once you have the meanings memorized you will grow to love Kanji, as they basically serve as a cheat sheet for remembering the definition of any word.

If this method doesn’t appeal to you, there are other popular options, such as the Kanji learning app Wanikani. I’ve never used it myself, but I’ve heard it recommended many times.

Is Handwriting Necessary?

Due to the blessings of modern technology, learning how to handwrite Japanese isn’t strictly necessary. So as long as you can recognize Kanji, if you have a phone or a computer you don’t actually have to remember how to write them from memory, as they can produce the Kanji for you if you just type in the reading.

However, if you live in Japan, you will not be able to avoid writing forever. Many official documents will require you to write by hand, and if you look for a job in Japan, you will have to handwrite your resume in pen. As long as you have a phone for reference, this shouldn’t be a problem. But teaching yourself to handwrite Kanji from memory will absolutely be beneficial.

Something else to be aware of is that some Japanese people use handwriting as a judge of character. If you have sloppy handwriting, then you’re at risk of someone thinking that reflects poorly on your character. This isn’t true of everyone however, and probably isn’t worth losing sleep over.

Summary

Learning to write Japanese may seem tough. But all it takes is a little bit of practice every day. So don’t be intimidated. If you follow the methods I outlined above, with enough time and discipline, you will soon be able to appreciate the beauty of the Japanese language.

Writer: Luke Hutton

I’m a freelance translator and writer. I have bachelor’s degrees in both Japanese and Journalism, and have N2 certification on the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. In 2018 I studied abroad at Doshisha University in Kyoto, Japan. I am equal parts obsessed with basketball and video games.

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Unorganized Thoughts from April

*Warning: contains a lot of unnecessary quotes. It’s the 2012 Tumblr in me that can’t escape*

Each month I feel like I’m a different version of myself than I was before. I’m tracking progress where there are days that I’m excelling, and days where I feel like I’m exactly where I started. I don’t realize how fast time is moving, and how much I’m growing with each passing day until I find myself in a different spot with a different mindset than before. 

April was the first full month of experiencing quarantine lock-down. Most mornings, I start off by listening to The Daily podcast and try to wrap my head around this new normal. We probably won’t get to experience “normalcy” until at least another year, and that’s generous. Even with the production of a vaccine, there’s the issue of mass-production and mass-distribution. We also need to consider priority to people who are most vulnerable. Even then, the virus will still be spreading. I’m mourning the lost luxuries of everyday life (*sighs*). 

The first two weeks of April in lock-down were therapeutic. I’m privileged enough to look at this quarantine as a time to slow down, pause, and invest in things I’ve been putting off. I know many families in the world can’t experience that right now. This is a financially stressful time for most, and a period of prolonged anxiety and fear. I’m sorry if this post offends anyone. 

Being inside protected me from the outside world. Somehow, the idea of the world stopping put a cap on how much of my worries could grow. I wake up with assurance that my mom will be sitting on her blue exercise ball, greeting me with a warm “Good morning, darling” as she does her work in the kitchen. My dad will be sitting in his dining room chair, on the phone yelling at his coworker who he refuses to acknowledge as a friend. If it’s past 10 AM, N-- will be playing Animal Crossing on the Switch or “working”.  Y-- will be comfortably sleeping in bed after a night of playing Fortnite until 4 AM. There is always an aroma circulating around the house - baked banana bread, chocolate oatmeal cookies, brownies, or even dumplings. In quarantine, I’m able to control the things around me to maximize my time and well-being. I am grateful to have so many things to celebrate during this time. 

But like all things of this earth, it leans towards corruption. As the weeks inside passed, my indulgence in anxiety-ridden, thoughts became overwhelming.

My 83 year old grandma got COVID-19. I was never close with her, so I had this guilt sensation that I should’ve been feeling more worried, scared, and saddened, when I didn’t. Instead I felt weighted by the sight of my dad feeling helpless.  The “strongest” man of the family suddenly transformed into a man of anger, tears, and a man desperate to make up for lost years. It’s times like these where you learn to apply everything the church is teaching you; to not live in fear, to love thy neighbor, and to seek God fervently. I attest that it’s so much easier said than done. 

As a person popped into my life for a passing moment, I felt like a girl ready to ditch her antibiotics just because the symptoms were being relieved. But J-- C-- (of course lol), sent me this piece of wisdom:

5 Better is open rebuke

    than hidden love.

6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

As the cheesy, Tumblr, teenage, coming-of-age, film quote states: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Since tasting the love of God, I realize I deserve so much more. I deserve a friend who is honest, who values me, who won’t make me feel like I’m a choice out of convenience. A friend who comes clean of all things the first time. If this is him, trying to sweep the guilt for the pain he caused me under a rug, I don’t want it. If this is him trying to hold onto to two worlds, I withdraw from this game. I am slowly learning how to die to myself. To not let my emotions rule, and submit to the wisdom of Jesus. I’m working through forgiveness, but texted-apologies are empty unless there is action. Action has continuously proven to me that selfishness will continue to rule. 

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” - Maya Angelou

I believe what I saw. I believe what I continue to see. Until God takes hold, I refuse to fall into quicksand again. 

But even understanding these truths, there were many days where I slipped. It felt like I was chained to the thought of them, weighing me down and disrupting my peace of mind. There continued to times where I got vivid memories of everything. How it felt to read those texts that they were in NOVA, to see the location and know she was there, to have to take an exam with a hole in my gut. I feel chained to this embarrassment and shame that I was so ~stupid~ to miss him while he was in Richmond, DC, and her apartment. To convince myself that I was somehow on his mind. To not feel like a failure in all of this. I’m reliving these things over and over and I just want to escape. But God is calling me to remember it all. To remind myself to not be foolish. To put up a guard and draw closer to Him. 

I reread 2 Corinthians 4 many times this month, each time with a new reason (and sometimes the same). 

“8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” 

 “ 16 So we do not lose heart. Though our 17 outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Light and momentary compared to the eternal weight of glory. 

The mourning of COVID-19 and my own heartbreak feels like forever. But in this life - it’s so short. It’s passing. There is a Forever with God to remind me that this pandemic, this grief, and this anxiety will pass. The spiritual transformation that God intends for us through our struggles is to make us more like Jesus. This is an invitation to let God do deep work in us. To strip us down of everything and turn us into something beautiful. Suffering is one of the few things that can turn us into the image of Jesus, but only if we let him. Only if we have the capability to be honest with ourselves to say that we want to surrender our whole life to Him. Live like God is among us, because He is. 

“Aim at heaven, you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth, you get neither.” - C.S. Lewis 

I get to ~proudly~ say that I’m not perfect by any standards. But I am working on the person I am becoming, and focusing less on the final product of my character. Pastor D.L. puts it plainly: “The secret to life is your life in secret”

Our public failure is always preceded by private failure. Success as a married person is your success as a single person. I am striving for success in all realms of my life. A heavenly mindset that everything in this life is temporary, but the person I am is the person that will meet the Father one day. I am working on patience and care within my family, the people I take most for granted. I want to be a person who everyone can rely on to be consistent. It starts within a home. 

A Moment of Gratitude: 

Despite being alone for most of quarantine, I’m thankful to never feel lonely. I’m thankful that despite church not meeting physically in-person, we’re able to continue to meet and cultivate faith in our own homes. I’m thankful for my friends who continue to hear me list the same problems time and time again, and reaffirm me that they are always walking beside me.

I’m thankful for this momentary affliction. It reminds me I’m human (lol), and I need God. People come out of suffering - in spite of the bitterness, devastation, and loss - as better people. They come out as the best of people. I’m starting to see resilience being built in my family and myself. A new definition of love. A holy mixture of patience and hope. 

I’ll end this post with a snippet of quarantine life: 

We gather around the family sofa, rewatching childhood videos. I could feel all our eyes glued to the screen; the room echoes with reminiscent laughter and immense warm gratitude fill our chests. The videos of raw scenes of sharing coco puffs in the morning seemed exciting. Walking around Georgetown was an adventure. To anyone else, these are poorly edited videos with no climax. But to us, it reminds me of where I’m rooted. That no matter what I’m doing, where I am, everyday is exciting when you’re surrounded by the people you love. Thank you, Dad for capturing the ordinary moments. I hope to share these videos with someone who finds beauty in these intimate videos. Who will feel what I felt and see what I see.