#it takes a while though so i might not do it that often

[gold-onthe-inside]

flu season

who? aaron hotchner (s7) x fem!reader summary: when you catch the same bug that's been going round at jack's school, your favourite person returns the favour to take care of you. content warnings: sickness obv, lots of praise (smart/best girl) word count: 0.8k a/n: wrote this for my best girl @minswriting to help her feel better <3 love you bby ; listened to flu season by koffer

You don’t fall sick that often — your record had been 6 sick days last year — but flu season gets to everyone, especially when you spent the better half of a week taking care of a 10 year old with your boyfriend while he was working on a case. You’d felt the odd tickle of a sneeze but nothing more, and Aaron had shown his gratitude in more ways than one. You didn’t mind, you never minded. Just like Aaron, Jack had made a home for himself in your heart, complete with a pillow fort and all.

Except come Tuesday, you’ve got the same bug he did, waking up much later than you normally did, your whole body aching and sore and your head woozy. There’s no choice, you have to call in sick - for fear you might pass out behind the wheel. You wouldn’t have called him if there was another choice either, but it’s just your luck that you’re out of any medication that might help — no painkillers, no cold syrup, nothing.

He can hear it in your voice, the frail hoarseness to it, the stuffy nose that means your voice is a little more nasally than usual. It’s a no-brainer; he tells Rossi to hold down the fort for a day, to which he receives a knowing smirk, and then he’s out of the office, stopping only at a general store in your neighbourhood to pick up everything you need. He splurges on the hypoallergenic eucalyptus tissues, the softest ones he can find, and strawberry cold syrup because he’d be a lousy profiler to not remember your favourite flavour. The next stop is groceries — chicken, eggs, and vegetables, seeing as you wouldn’t go shopping until Thursday — and then he’s at your apartment, sliding the key you’d given him for emergencies into the door.

You look, and feel, like death warmed up, all laid up on the couch with your red-tinged nose and pale skin, tissues scattered around you. “Hey, honey, how are you feeling?” he asked, instantly making a beeline to kneel at your side. He doesn’t even take off his dress shoes first.

“M sorry,” you managed, reaching out for his handsome face, which he covers with his own large palm, kissing the inside of your wrist.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he murmured, closing his hand over your hand and frowning with concern. “You do seem a little warm, though. You check your temperature?”

“Mhm, was 100 degrees this morning. Figured I should stay warm.”

“Smart girl,” he praised, pressing his lips to your temple. “Food?”

“Toast and orange juice,” you said, looking at him as he stroked your hair. “Were you very busy?”

“Never too busy to take care of my best girl,” he replied. “Let’s get some medication in you and then you need to rest, okay?”

You nodded, uncaring of how childish you felt yourself being. Not when he was so caring. He measured out the exact dose of cold syrup for you, had you follow it with a painkiller to help with the body ache, praising you the whole time. “Stay with me?” you asked in your sleepy voice, and he can’t say no. You shift to make space for him on the couch, laying your head on his lap, drifting off to his hand stroking your hair.

You stirred a couple hours later, rubbing your eyes groggily as you try to make sense of everything. Aaron’s suit jacket hung on the back of a chair, and the curtains had been drawn to help you sleep better, and you feel too hot in your hoodie and blanket. You pulled off the hoodie, leaving it beside you just as Aaron walked over, carefully holding a tray with bowl of chicken soup.

“This is officially too much,” you said, your voice a little stronger than it had been when he’d come through the door.

“It’s not nearly enough,” he said firmly. “Go on, sit properly.” He waits until you oblige, his look firm, but a fondness in his eyes as you crossed your legs, leaving him plenty of space to sit beside you. He pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, drifting down to check your neck. “Not as warm as before, but you can do better,” he said and you pursed your lips at him.

“You may be a boss at work, but you don’t boss me around here, understood?” you told him, threatening him with your spoon and he tried not to laugh.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, sinking back into the couch while you return your attention to the soup, his hand rubbing your back. “Anything else I can do for you?” he asked, and you know he’s being genuine, because there’s nothing he loves more than being of service.

“You’re here,” you said softly. “That’s enough.” And you mean it, of course. You also make him watch Moulin Rouge, even though he hates watching movies that make you cry, and he doesn’t leave your side, spending the day in his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt and slacks, letting you use him like a large body pillow for the rest of the day.

[rafesslxt]

unknown number

pt. 1/2

SUMMARY: not only you are surprised when you get a drunk text from your brother that you should pick him up from a party - Topper's just as shocked as you are.

WARNINGS: Thornton!reader, brothers best friend trope, bickering, tension, quick deep talk with Topper

WORD COUNT: 1,7k

NOTE: english is not my first language | thank‘s to everyone for reading and supporting, comments and - are highly apprecaiated <3

🥥 🍋‍🟩 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼 🥭 🍍

Your body tried to make its way through the sweaty crowd dancing and drinking around you, the air thick with the scent of weed and expensive perfume. This wasn't on your agenda for tonight, getting your drunk brother out of a party, that's for sure.

"Hey sis, can u get me? I'm drunk as hell."

You weren't surprised, though. After Sarah had ditched him for John B, which was more than understandable for you but hey – Topper never wanted to listen to your advice, he seemed to try drowning the pain and hurt ego away by drinking and smoking.

The house you currently were in was familiar to you. Since Sarah's your best friend you spend a lot of time here but never during these party's, cause most of the time Rafe was the host and well - let's just say you tried to avoid any chance of being in a room with him together.

Because besides the hatred for their sister's trying to live the pogue life, Topper and Rafe had one thing more in common. They fell for the sister of their best friend. The only problem was, that Rafe never acted on his feeling. While Topper may be a complete idiot, he at least showed Sarah some kind of feelings, trying to wrap her around his fingers. But for Rafe? Bickering and hating was his way.

But Rafe apparently had a new way of drawing you into his space.

"Hey, did you see Topper?" You asked a guy which's name you could never remember no matter how often your brother tried to tell you. You just knew he often hang with them together. "No, sorry. Ask Rafe, he was with him a while ago." You instantly rolled your eyes but smiled at him and nodded in a way that was supposed to tell him 'thank you'.

You made your way further through the people until you reached the living room where you saw Rafe sitting on the couch, talking to two girls on either side of him.

Not bothering that you may interrupted something, you walked up behind him, not even caring enough to wait until he might realize you were standing behind him. "Have you seen my brother? He told me to come pick him up."

You looked down at his head which bend until it laid against the backrest, his pretty blue eyes meeting yours. Pretty ? No, you meant blue. Just blue.

"Oh If it isn't the princess of the Pogues, gracing us with her presence this night.", his voice dripped with sarcasm. "And to what do we owe this unexpected visit?" You rolled your eyes at his irritating words and crossed your arms in front of your chest. "Did you see Topper, Rafe?", you repeated.

His smile widened before he sat upright again, took a beer that was probably his from the desk, turned around and locked eyes with you again, walking around the couch towards you.

"Someone's in a grumpy mood today." he remarked, taking a sip of his beer. "Rafe If you don't-" "No need to be so uptight princess. The party just stared." You scoffed. "Well, apparently not If my brother's texting me to come pick his drunk ass up."

"Give him some time, he's trying to heal from a heartbreak. I mean I told him my sister is never hanging around for long but- well you know him. Had to try for himself."

You were slowly getting tired of the conversation and Rafe seemed to notice. "And as for where your brother is; I saw him with Kelce in the kitchen a few minutes ago. Just before you arrived, I think."

Without giving him a second more of your time, you turned around, walking towards the kitchen. Why didn't he just tell you 'Hey, Topper is in the kitchen.' ? Why does he always have to bicker with you and beat around the bush. Ugh.

Sarah always said he liked you but before Rafe Cameron actually had serious feelings for you or even anyone, hell would freeze over.

You walked into the kitchen of the Cameron's, immediately spotting your brother and Kelce, laughing loudly between some shots they were taking.

"Wow. You're really setting the bar lower and lower." You scoffed, making their heads turn towards you. "Y/n? What are you doing here? Aren't you with your little friends?" "Oh, hey pipsqueak." Kelce chuckled from behind Topper, waving at you with a drunken grin.

"Come on Topper, I don't have all night." I sighed, already about to leave the kitchen when he looked at me as If I had torn apart his favorite teddy bear apart that he hid under his bed whenever someone came over. "What the hell are you talking about?" "What the hell do you mean what the hell I'm talking about? You texted me to come pick you up because you're too drunk."

Just as he was about to answer, Rafe entered the kitchen and stood beside you. "Topper, why don't you listen to your sister and go with her, you've had enough for tonight."

Feeling betrayed, Topper was too stunned to speak, looking at Kelce for some backup. "Hey man don't get me into this." he replied to his look, throwing up his hands and spilling some of the liquid that was inside his shot glass.

"I didn't text you!" he exclaimed, reached into his pocket and searching for his phone. "Shit.. can't find it." You rolled your eyes, your patience slowly but clearly wearing off. "Topper.." "I swear I didn't!", he swore while continuing to search the insides of his few pockets. "Damn no really, where is it?", he asked himself.

"Come on man." Kelce chuckled and threw an arm around his friend, slowly guiding him outside the kitchen and towards the front door where you parked your car.

You stepped aside to let them pass, your gaze landing on Rafe who was already looking at you, licking his bottom lip before speaking. "Here." He reached into his pocket and handed you Topper's phone. "What? Why do you have my brother's phone ?", you asked him, as It didn't hit you yet what was going in.

"Thought he might need someone to pick him up before he would be a complete mess.", he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders and looking away for a short moment.

Your eyebrows shot up as the realization finally hit you."You texted me to come pick him up? Why would you do that?" He chuckled and looked down at you. " Like I said; I was worried about my friend." "Bullshit.", you called him out right away. "If you were worried about him, you would have told me where he was instead of beating around the bush."

"Just wanted some conversation." he replied simply, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes while doing so, trying not to let him get under your skin. It would only please him.

"Good night, Rafe." you smiled at him before turning around and pushing through sweaty crowd again, reaching your car where Kelce and Topper were already waiting for you.

You pressed the little button on your car key, allowing them to get in while you were still a few meters away. Kelce jumped into the back seat, and Topper settled next to you in the front.

You slid behind the wheel and closed your door, glancing over your shoulder at Topper’s friend. “Should I drive you home too?” you asked, reaching for your seatbelt and securing it right after.

“Sure thing, pipsqueak,” he grinned, his eyes heavy and his body slumping down onto the back seat. You rolled your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in the last thirty minutes and started the engine, pulling away from the property.

A few minutes into the drive, you looked over to your right. “You’re lucky. Mom and Dad aren’t home tonight,” you smirked slowly, trying to lighten the mood since he was still your annoying brother. Annoying, but family.

A scoff escaped his lips as he stared out the window. “As if they’re ever home.” 

You sighed quietly, shrugging your shoulders. “Well, it’s still better than having to explain why you’re drunk and high.” 

“They wouldn’t understand anyway. They never do. All they do is scream and complain. They don’t care.” He turned his head toward you, studying your face. “But honestly, I don’t know which one of us they’re more disappointed in,” he chuckled.

“Yeah… Mom’s worried I’m drinking myself into a coma, while Dad is worried you’ll run off with Maybank or some other pogue.” The car fell silent for a moment before you both erupted into unexpected laughter. 

"Honestly, I don’t know which one is worse,” you giggled, gripping the wheel a little tighter as you turned onto your street. "Not sure who's setting the bar lower now, huh?" Topper smirked.

“I guess we should take him with us tonight before his parents have a heart attack,” you suggested, nodding toward Kelce, who was snoring in the back seat.

“Yeah…” he glanced at his friend and then back at you. “Thank you for picking me up, even though I didn’t text you. It’s good to know I can still count on you.” He smiled softly at you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"No problem, Topper." you smiled back at him before turning off your car and finally parked in your garage. "Let‘s get him inside.", you grinned, eager to get out like Topper, when your phone suddenly vibrated in your purse.

Hm, probably the pogues asking If everything‘s alright after you left so quick with only telling them it‘s an 'family emergency'.

You opened your little white purse Sarah had given you on your last birthday and rummaged through it, fishing out your phone. You had a few messages from JJ and Sarah, asking you when - wait.

What was that? A message by an unknown number.

unknown number

i took the liberty of grabbing your number while I had the chance to.

was nice seeing you tonight, hot and bothered like always..

sweets dreams, angel.

xx rafe

That son of a - wait, why were you smiling together with your heart beating faster ?

masterlist | taglist | navigation | valentines day special

tags: @supernaturaldawning @cardibre91 @aegonsslxt @juliet-017

xoxo sarah <3

[egalitarian-tomboy]

Sonic, Amy, and the Koco Lovers

In Frontiers, Amy gets Sonic to help her give the Koco closure so they can move on from their haunted shells. One quest in particular revolves around reuniting a Koco with her lover before it's too late. Since they were too shy in life to confess, they might have a chance at being together in the next life.

Immediately this situation reminds the Sonamy fans who've been here from the beginning about the infamous Q&A magazine section where Team Sonic says & I Quote: "Although Sonic is clearly interested in her, Sonic has always been too shy to declare his feelings."

(Image not mine, but it's the highest quality I've found thus far.)

What a coincidence that Sonic and Amy would be helping a haunted love story find its rightful conclusion that so similarly mirrors their own. With Sonic in the past literally running away from Amy's advancements yet undeniably harboring the same feelings for her as she does for him. His pride and private personality often conflicting with his true thoughts about romantic love. We all know how Amy loves Sonic unconditionally and how over time her love transformed from being a girlhood crush to being a mature love.

Amy is far from being shy, but the Koco Lovers' predicament seems like a callout for Sonic about his relationship with Amy being stuck in a romantic limbo. Constantly teetering between friendship and true commitment.

When Sonic tries to get Amy to leave the Koco alone to figure out things on their own, while literally gesturing to the Koco trying to find her lost lover, Amy yells at him that they have to see it through. When she asks if he would leave behind someone in need, when one of the many reasons why she loves him is because he will help those in need, he says no BUT he's also worried about her. All the while gazing at her like THIS:

This is by far the most vulnerable we've ever seen him with Amy in the entire series. BY FAR. He's not the type of guy to give up on anyone who needs help, but he's so worried about her and the fact that she's stuck in a digital limbo that he hasn't made any progress in getting her out of yet. She's so focused on helping others that Sonic reminds her that she can't truly help anyone in her current state. After thinking on his words she agrees and tells him to hurry up and rescue her so that way they can find Tails. He grins and tells her it sounds simple enough.

Little did they know they were about to unknowingly see the heartbreaking reuniting between the ghost shelled lovers. They're given a flashback to the moment when they reunited on the field of a warzone. The romantic surrounding of flowers their final resting spot as they share their first and last embrace. Amy doesn't understand what's going on and thinks it's happening in real time and Sonic has to hold her back from possibly getting hurt herself. When the flashback is over Amy rushes to where the Koco rushed to meet her lover for them to find the ghost shells together at last for their proper rest.

Sonic turns his attention to Amy as she sinks to her knees and softly laments that they were reunited right before their death. Knowing how too close to home this situation was for her, he gazed in silence for a moment thinking about what he's going to say before reassuring her that they were together now. He lets her grieve for a moment while he explores the area around them to look for more clues. But you can clearly tell that the flashback had an emotional impact on him as well.

When he comes back to check up on her, she tells him that they witnessed a love that transcended time and that she knew she wanted to share that love story with the world. Even though it may take them far apart.

*SCREECHING CAR BREAK*

She's no longer talking about the Koco lovers. She's talking about THEM. AS IN HER AND SONIC.

She's telling Sonic that she knows what she wants to do after everything is over and how they might not see each other again for some time until she returns. Who knows where she'll go or how long she'll be gone for. But she wants to journey by herself or with a small group to tell others about the power of this love story she witnessed. When she comes to that painful conclusion she's conflicted and grieved.

That is, until Sonic kneels down and looks at her like this:

And tells her he knows she'll do great and that he wants to hear all about it when she comes back. Smiling at her and giving her a nod when she gazes back up into his eyes.

I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT: AMY BASICALLY SAID "I WANT TO LEAVE TO SHARE THIS LOVE STORY BUT WE WON'T BE TOGETHER AND THAT SCARES ME." AND SONIC'S RESPONSE WAS "NO MATTER HOW FAR APART WE ARE OR HOW LONG YOU'RE GONE - I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU & I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURE WHEN YOU GET BACK."

Along with Amy's desire to share the Koco Lovers' story, there's a silent question within her declaration. Unlike in the past where she openly and proudly proclaimed herself to be Sonic's Girlfriend to everyone around her and how he was hers like some kind of trophy, When she says "It may take us far apart." she's asking him if he loves her the same way. Not as a friend but as a Lover.

Now in the rare trigger lines that you can find within the game, there's a moment where Sonic says "Amy...I should've made up my mind sooner." implying his conflicted thoughts about confessing his feelings for her and keeping his "Free as the Wind" lifestyle. But after everything that happened, I believe that he was finally ready to give her a real response.

Which was: "I know you'll do great. I want to hear all about it when you come back."

With the silent answer to her silent question about if he loves her too being: "I do and I'll be waiting for you to return to me."

Which is why you see her eyes grow wide at his response. Because he didn't joke his way out of it or tell her she was talking crazy about calling them lovers. He accepted her, truly accepted her at long last and was ready to give her his heart fully.

It really puts into perspective that Amy's memory tokens were literal HEARTS and the final quest before the big showdown was the Koco lovers.

Sonic's first "Trial" was love. His reward for completing that trial was finally moving forward in his relationship with Amy.

[sugurusladyknightt]

what i'm thinking of right now is what if someone tried hitting on you out while out on a date with your love.

satoru would've stepped away to grab the ice cream that had you waiting in a line for what you thought would feel like forever. it was fun though, the two of you pausing your initial conversation about the days plans in favour of people watching and listening in on the very scandalous conversations of those who stood with you in line. your eyes meeting in shock or surprise every so often, doing your best to disguise your laughs and gasps with charades of idle conversation and your own scandalous conversations referencing drama that, mind you doesn't really exist in your lives at the moment.

while he was a way your getting hit on by some creep. it didn't come off that way initially, but man was this getting uncomfortable fast. can this guy not take a hint? he's asking for your number once again and your refusing once again politely at first, and more stern as the advances keep coming. your not used to people that won't listen when you speak. since when did back off mean come closer? since when did i'm not interested become im just playing coy. since when did im taken, leave me alone translate to my relationship isn't real or isn't important to me and id throw it away for someone who doesn't understand basic boundaries and uses those suffocating, nauseating colognes?

drawing closer and closer to you. face far too close to yours, breathe stank too. yuck. he's gaining confidence now,convinced the 'boyfriend' you were talking about was an excuse you'd made up. your just nervous is all. playing hard to get.

panic starts to set into your bones. he's leaning back, all cocky now.

come on doll face, this 'boyfriend' of yours doesn't have to know. quit playing so high and mighty i know you want me.

you think you might throw up. when an ice cream cone hits him right in the centre of his face. comically sliding down his face. and satoru enters the scene. sun creating a halo around his fluffy white hair, your ho is glowing. signature classes sat pretty low on his nose his skin a little flushed from the heat (hence the ice cream) he's holding two more cones in his hands, walking towards you and and the offender, mock sympathy in his voice. as he expresses apologies that to just might seem sincere if your that stupid if you tried hard enough. grabbing the cone of his face to meet his eyes.

satoru has a incredibly towering stature, and while this wasn't news to you, it's quite impressive to see its advantages in real time.

peaking down at the face behind the sweet creamy mess, satoru recoils. "ew." his tone dripping with absolute disgust. turning around to make his "bleghh" face as he presses the now ice cream less cone into the man's hair. like a sad party hat above his head an sticks on of the other two, being careful to use the flavour he knows you like least, straight back into his face. massaging it around to cover as much of the monstrosity as possible before nodding proudly for his work. a pat on the make, and he's turing on his heel towards you with that blinding smile on his face.

dramatically, satoru drapes his hands over you shoulders, and leans his weight it, a pout on his strawberry glosses lips. "babyyyyy, the sight will haunt my night mares, scary people out there" he tuts standing straight with a satirical furrow between his brows. he should have been a theatre kid with all these dramatics. though you were greatful, and relived. he makes life feel so easy. it's contagious.

he looks down at you through his sunglasses small smile playing on his lips, face no longer contorted by an expression of discomfort or disgust.

satoru hands you the last cone. after all the two he got for him have served greater purpose than satisfying his sweet tooth. strong arm loosely hangs from you shoulder as you walk off leaving behind the cheap excuse of a man now covered in creamy deliciousness far too good him. your laughing at something satoru said as he glances back to see yhe newest addition to his hit list muttering to himself as he try's to get the ice cream of his over gelled greasy hair, fake designer top and horribly ugly face. satoru thinks he should just keep it as it was. ice cream was a far more pleasant sight. he looks back down at you eating away at your cone, there's a little caught at the corner of you lips.

smirking he leans down to lick it off, taking advantage of the angle of your head above his to make his eyes wide and pretty for you the same way he would when he was licking something else. your flustered, mouth open, paused mid sentence and your eyes wider than his now. wide eyes portraying his faux innocence drop to a sultry lidded gaze leaning in to kiss away another but in the other side. your fingers going up to feel if there's anything there on instinct.

he stands up quick, back to his regular self, pinching your check acting as if nothing had just transpired. like the subtle innuendo was felt only by you. "are you blushing?? god baby your such a pervert. is that all i am to you???"

and he's back to the dramatics. rolling your eyes your shrug him of and continue. he stays, watching you, his beloved walk ahead, he feels himself let out the dreamy exhale of a lovesick fool, he'll be the first to admit that for you, he is nothing else.

a quick jog is all it takes to catch up to you. arm coming back around your shoulder he leans in like he weighs the same as the feather. burying himself close to you. you smelt sweeter than ice cream. his hair tickles your neck, and your his face.

"baby"

a hmm is all he gets in reply, to busy lapping away at your cone to pay attention to the kind sexy clown you call you boyfriend. he got your favourite flavour after all.

extravagant gestures weren't something satoru shied away from, as we have gotten to see up close today. he was loud and carefree but he was yours. and you his. walking side by side, his arm around your shoulders, head resting close to you. he can feel your pulse (his posture must've looked horribly uncomfortableto someone watching from outside the two of you). it's peaceful like this. despite the bustling crowds and busy chatter around you, you shared a feeling of peace in that moment. body held close to the one you loved, despite the heat your far from bothered by the proximity. he smells so good.

then it hits him. no sweet treat :( the gravity of the situation makes it self clear to him, but his salvation, as always, is being held delicately in your hands.

"you wouldn't mind sharing with your brave, fearless, super funny, super hot, saviour knight now would do you baby"

[frillydolle]

hiiii !!! so i dont know if it was u who wrote an arthur x reader fic where reader wears their fathers glasses to read? im pretty sure it wasnt, but i thought of it as a good idea. so, what im asking is, would u be comfortable writing something with reader wearing glasses but instead of not seeing things near they don't see things far away. so they're going through life blurry and arthur notices because they keep bumping into things bc they have no sense of depth without their glasses. offers to make them an appointment for eye doctor and helps them choose the glasses and everything ? thought it would be cute (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

arthur morgan x blind female reader

꒰ 𝝑𓏲 ꒱ wearing my glasses right now as i write this :)

“sweetheart, 'm right here— no, 'm here—... y'alrigh'?”

“... i think so.”

that was probably the fourth time u have walked into something? no one else wasn't really sure why, but only because u didn't tell anyone. it was like a secret of urs that u have kept for a long while.

arthur was really the only man who knew u struggled with ur eyesight for as long as u can remember. shooting was a huge problem that u avoid as much as u could despite living in an outlaw gang, arthur would do best his best to help u, but it never went well. u couldn't even hit a bottle!

shooting was definitely not in ur skills. no matter the number of times that arthur willing helps u shoot a gun or help u aim better, nothing worked. u always still managed to shoot a tree or shoot at.. basically nothing, u always missed the three empty bottles he placed for u to gun at.

“mr morgan, i can't— i can't see that bottle, 's too far.”

“want me to bring it closer?”

of course he did. undeniably, he's always had a soft spot for you, but it's not like he'd admit anyone else in camp or you, especially. he treated u like a fragile girl, which u weren't too far from. having bad eyesight did make u feel more vulnerable and fragile, and arthur knew this. makes him just a little protective with you as he's often seen with his fingers intertwined with urs or his arm rests around ur waist. it gave yoy sense of safety and.. comfort.

sometimes the silly man might forget just how blind you really are:( he'd never mean to! he'd just be so so focused on something and he'd bring you with him and it just slips his mind simply!

“arthur, wait—!” you'd say as u try to catch up to his pace, ur hands slightly out just in case u fall. “oh, 'm sorry, sweetheart. 'm right 'ere.”

but now, he decided to help you, proper this time. the two of u are on his horse whike trotting away, your hands around his torso tightly incase you fall or anything like such. you had no idea where he was taking you though, his words being “'s a secret, but nothin' too big, y'know?” nonetheless, you were just glad that he out if camp, noticing how stressed he would be until his blue-green eyes would set on you:(

“... saint denis? what do you have planned, arthur?” you say with a small giggle, looking at him while he's looking straight onto the road in front of him. “jus' a nice day out. you 'n' me.” he replied. huh. a nice day out. just a day out. but days were him were never often that simple, usually ended with someone recognising from blackwater or another robbery, or you talking him out of beating a man for making you uncomfortable. you thanked him regardless, making sure you're safe and well.

then he hitches off his hourse, you follow suit...the doctor's office? what was he doing here? i mean, he's fine, right? you're fine too except your eyesight, of course. wait, was he—

“c'mon, darlin'. yer fine, i promise ya.” he says as he sticks his arm to you, waiting for you to hold his arm before walking into the building. he knew you were slightly anxious about it, but he was willing to help you in any way he could.

a man like him... blood on his hands, lives taken because of him, rough and callous from hard work, a man like him with all bite and bark like a violent dog. that man bring a sweet girl like you to the doctor's office to get you sorted out with a new pair of glasses. ♡

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Hi! Even though you must receive such compliments often, I have to say that your Billford art is very unique and incredible! :D Your Bill is so cartoonish yet quirky; I can't express enough how much I like him and Ford (and any other GF character from you, but them especially) in your style. Overall, your traditional style drawing suits them just right !

Anyway, since you posted your last comic, I have been wondering how Bill would look like and behave when furious or triggered in your style :0. I like seeing him cheerful and excited with Ford, but I can't help but think what conversation they might have when Ford finds out about Bill and confronts him about it.

Do you plan to draw more comics/pics with angsty BillFord? Their relationship during/after their falling out?👀👀

Ohh man, thank you! That is so kind of you! I'm really glad you like my drawings of them :D💕

That's a really good question! I think the silly, ridiculous, stupid part of their relationship is what gets me the most, and that's what I like to draw. I mean, if you're on the patreon seeing the more suggestive stuff, even the way I depict THAT is really dumb. But Billford really does have it all, and there's a LOT of angst + scary stuff happening too. I do think about it, but it's not anything I get super motivated to draw.

When I DO think about drawing conflict between them, usually it's still in a humorous light. It's just the sort of thing that makes me happy. The sillystupid stuff.

I have thought about drawing bill with a very specific expression - one where he's VERY VERY furious. I'm envisioning some sort of equivalent to him "biting" his lower "lip" but it's a row of teeth pressing into the underside of his eyeball. Here's some doodles I did a month or two ago. I still haven't made any drawings of this expression that I'm satisfied with, I think it should be more exaggerated and lip-like... somehow.

It needs work. I want it to be like... spongebob freeze frame level of weird. But I was thinking this is how he'd react if he stumbled into one of Fiddlefords Fantasizing About Ford dreams. That's something I've been thinking about drawing for a while, but haven't yet.

Anyway, I hope this answered your question ok?? Thank you for taking the time to type such a lovely ask!

[burning2know]

I agree wholeheartedly with OP and these tags from prev. prefacing that I will be ignoring the game that shall not be named and probably repeating some points.

There's nothing quite like the interactive medium of a video game that makes you examine your own choices and beliefs. And when it comes to politics, there's often a disconnect between ideology and lived experience. My favorite thing about DA was always the fact the it tried to bridge the two. Whether it's showing that various individuals in similar circumstances can have completely different ideologies, or it can be to explore what happens to individuals and their experiences after reshaping the world according to the player's ideology. That bridge, albeit implicit, has been formative in the way I think about my own world. When it comes to the lore and world building, it demands the player to use critical thinking, much like a historian might, to make sense of it. And I did end up feeling like I needed to make sense of the world to make my choices.

Even though DA has argued both sides, it does it incredibly well. The arguments it presents come from character perspectives that makes sense in the universe, and it makes it all feel real. I think a lot of credit should go to origin's writers for providing those arguments. It feels like the writers talking amongst themselves trying to hash out what each action means for the world and to eachother using the NPCs, and in the spaces of these discussions, I get to reflect on where I agree and disagree and what that means for me as a player. The experience reminds me of me watching Contrapoints videos in which she has a conversation with various parts of her own beliefs about her gender identity, and engaging with her inner-discourse lead me to a deeper understanding of my own identity.

That's the true value of arguing both sides. It lets the audience decide for themselves without being prescriptive. And while it does demand the audience construct their own reasons and values to explain their choices, it also provides a window into possible viewpoints that the audience might or might not agree with. And not in a judgmental way. That process shows how one character may arrive there, not through insanity or stupidity, but through various circumstances and experiences.

DA's goal was always to challenge the player. That isn't to say that there's no bias, or a particular perspective that the writers are coming from. But the point is that it opens a space for exploration. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to do that without falling into the hole of appearing contrarian or troll-ish. And to some extent the writers themselves had to treat each argument with equal respect and legitimacy to display its outcomes in the game according to the rules of the world rather than their own ideals. And that itself is not easy. It doesn't surprise me that that world view and capacity disappears when the series changed hands.

And underlying all of that is a philosophy about how individuals operate, and how they operate when they come together into groups of individuals (many different words to say power and hierarchy). And that underlying philosophy is what resonated with me so much with over time. It's very compassionate to be able to hold space for these other perspectives. Not only rare to see due to the complexity required to show it, but easy to lose and difficult to gain back once you've lost it. And at this moment in the history of DA, we have lost it.

In some ways, I think the timing of this happening Makes Sense. We live in a tumultuous time where reality is uncertain and volatile due to the nature of new modes of information exchange. We see all kinds of people sharing things on social media that could easily be interpreted as lived experience or disinformation. And more than ever, our shared reality is being shattered into a million pieces by personalized content. (I too have felt the "we live in parallel universes" thought creeping up on me). In this chaotic environment, we Need the psychological comfort of certainty, of knowing what the world is like. The easiest and most familiar way is to find an authoritative voice and trust that single voice as the guiding star. That voice is only strengthened by others' agreement, and we contribute to this strengthening with our own psychological needs for certainty and stability. And we become resistant to dissent and critical analysis, because the amount of information to sort through gets very overwhelming very quickly.

What DA does has always been the opposite of that, it demands the player to confront multiple perspectives (albeit in a much more curated and coherent way). And it is logical to me that the game goes against such a primary psychological need in these trying times, perhaps now more than ever. But this theme has always gone against the grain, and media that goes against the grain in this way is so rare and So Badly Needed. We Need people to be able to think through and cobsider multiple perspectives, because there are so many perspectives accessible to us. At the same time I understand the draw of never ever having to do that. And I also understand that a lot of people just don't think that deeply ever. And that's why losing DA hits extra hard for me. Because it is another piece of resistance swept away with the torrent of greater trends that push us away from shared understanding with the people around us.

i feel like all of my pondering and analyzing and criticizing veilguard over the past few months has actually truly given me a better understanding of what dragon age meant to me, what about it specifically was so meaningful, and why, as a result, veilguard felt so wrong. it took a while for me to figure it out. about three full months of relentless essay writing, actually. but i think if you had asked me a few years ago what the core of my love for dragon age was, whatever answer i gave would not have truly gotten to the root of it, because i think i had to experience the disappointment of veilguard to fully understand why i love dragon age. and ive realized that core is that i loved how the previous dragon age entries demand so much of the player, and deliberately prompt introspection and critical, often political, thought.

dragon age games have historically forced the player to be self-reflective and introspective about their worldview and beliefs. solas is obviously a fantastic example, as he was deliberately written to be a reflection of the player in order to prompt them to reflect on how they treat people, how our expectations of people influence their behavior, and how people are pushed to extremes and turned into monsters or saved by love and kindness. how do people become monsters? what drives them to blow up buildings or start rebellions or destroy the world as you know it? are they right or wrong? does it even matter? how did you contribute to this? are you innocent? it puts these insane, politically and morally charged situations in your face and forces you to confront them. slavery, a refugee crisis, poverty, class disparities, racism, foreign occupation, the list goes on, and you are not given the option to look away or be a bystander. you have to ACT. you have to choose, you have to make judgements, you have to take responsibility and explore your role in this world as someone with the capacity to act upon it, to make your will a reality, to fail, to make mistakes. i honestly can't think of any other video game that does this to the same extent? nor any media at all because the act of being IN the world as one of it's people through the act of role-playing is essential to how it provokes this experience in the player. its ballsy. they deliberately try to make you uncomfortable. these games are full of liars, deceivers, betrayers. the games themselves lie to you. its character try to deceive you. did you catch it? or were you fooled? what else might you be fooled by? who else might be lying to you? in the game? in real life? and then you get to play it again knowing the end, and what the game prompts changes with your new knowledge. now it asks, do you forgive them? what makes someone worthy of forgiveness? where do you draw the line? what do you think?

i dont think i realized until recently how impactful this was for me considering how i first got into dragon age at 16 years old. i dont think i had experienced anything up to that point that would put a situation like judging a war criminal who ordered the deaths of children or another war criminal who just left me to die and orchestrated a near-coup or a traumatized terrorist who just blew up a church right in my face, and said MAKE A DECISION. and i didnt know it at the time, but looking back i can see how valuable it was for me at that age to have what was effectively an avenue of exploration and self-expression of all of these moral and political issues that i was grappling with as a young adult. i played inquisition for the first time just months before i voted in my first presidential primary. i already had a political consciousness at this point, but it was nonetheless new and vulnerable and still blossoming into something more concrete. inquisition, then, almost provided a sort of political, moral and personal sandbox for me from ages 16-20 to better help me understand myself in relation to the world. the RPG-ness allowed me to put myself into these situations - like the mage-templar war and its metaphor for mass incarceration and police brutality - while i was also simultaneously grappling with and trying to understand these issues in real life. having dragon age to help me further unpack my own beliefs and conception of these issues was undeniably impactful. it provided a space, through a narrative i enjoyed and cared about, to make choices and judgement calls and better understand who i was, and what felt right to me. it asked, "what do you think?"

veilguard lacks this. completely. and lets be clear that the previous games did not always do a perfect job. many of these depictions are messy and harmful and problematic, but they at least, by extension of their own existence in a narrative that forces you to THINK and JUDGE and DECIDE, give me the space and opportunity to judge them as messy, as problematic, as harmful. i can confidently say that i think da2 is too sympathetic to the templars as an organization because the fact that da2 presents me with so many narrative conflicts regarding the templar organization allows me to not just make in-game decisions and play as a staunch advocate for mage freedom and circle abolition, but to form opinions on the game itself by extension. i can confidently say that i believe the qunari's portrayal is islamophobic because the game has prompted me so many times; what do i think about the qunari? what do i think about the oppression of the elves? what do i think about dorian being a seemingly good person but defending the practice of slavery? who should rule orzammar; the progressive asshole or the conservative traditionalist? do i forgive loghain? do i forgive anders? do i forgive solas? this in-world critical thinking about issues in thedas leads to meta critical thinking. further questions naturally follow -> what message did the writers intend to send through anders? how can i notice the echoes of how this story came into fruition in the shadow of 9/11? what do solas's endings tell me about the writers view of retributive punishment? how is bioware's portrayal of the dalish, as inspired by indigenous north americans, reflective of deep-seated anti-indigenous canadian sentiment? why did the writers stop prompting these hard questions at all in veilguard? did they only like it when it was about characters, not when it led to critical thinking about them and the company as a whole? through these processes of in-world interrogation, i am inevitably invited to analyze the effectiveness of their narrative portrayals and the writing itself. perhaps this is why dragon age is so famous for its discourse lol.

ive said before that im not sure that veilguard could ever have been as impactful for me as the previous games, partly because when you are 16 everything is more impactful because your brain is an eager sponge, unless it did something that really resonated with me as an adult. but what it should have been, at the very least, is something that could have been as impactful and formative on a current 16 year old that sees a gif on tumblr and decides to check out the game, as inquisition was to me 10 years ago. and im sure there are teenagers and younger adults out there playing this game and loving it and loving the characters and the world and thinking its great, good fun. thats great. however it fundamentally cannot have the same profound, developmentally catalytic experience it had on me because it simply does not challenge the player. it does not prompt them to question their own beliefs and the power structures within their lives. it does not prompt them to reflect on the political narratives they may have been fed all their lives. it does not confront them with the sorts of topics that get books on banned lists in florida and force them to bear witness, to think deeper, to feel guilt or horror at the outcome of your own poorly-made decision, to make moral judgements, to make mistakes, and to live with the consequences.

i think i now understand why veilguard was so disappointing to me and ultimately would be a failure in my eyes no matter if i enjoyed the combat or the exploration or whatever other shiny coat of paint sits atop it. veilguard does not ask much of you. it does not prompt any sort of introspection or interrogation of your presently held beliefs. it does not demand anything from the player except to dodge at the right moment. this is a fundamental, core departure from what made me fall in love with dragon age in the first place. if you love dragon age because you want "fantasy escapism" and fun characters to smooch, then i am happy for you. but i would remind you that can find fantasy escapism all over the steam library - farming sims, cozy games, a witch looking for her cat in the alps, etc. what you cannot find are games that are willing and brave enough to challenge and provoke the player into a better, more thorough understanding of themselves in relation to our world and it's many, complex and daunting political and moral issues. to have lost such a thing, when media like this has become so few and far between, and during a time when we need it more than ever, is a devastating loss.

[doodlenoodleboi]

Senku l. (before & after the stone)

Headcanons, sfw,nsfw, suggestive…

Author’s note: Senku is a fictional character he is canonically 15-16 in the beginning of the series and 17-18 by season 3 not taking account for the manga which he is older. If in the future I make works on characters you deem unfitting for the roll of nsfw fiction or suggestive works of while aged up feel free to block me! Also a reminder that this is a fictional character, made up of lines/pixels. Do not waste your time writing petty hate comments which I will remove and are a waste of your life which you will not get back. I choose to be delusional about fictional characters for my own satisfaction, good day!

Word count: a lot

Before the stone

Sfw

Senku is a bit more less responsible before the stone as he is allowed to act like a kid. He often spends his time in the school lab or at home and can be seen with is small group of friends. (Taiju Oki and Yuzuriha Ogawa.)

Love and romantic relationships are something Senku has found himself uninterested in his teenage years. Dedicating himself to his craft and love for science.

You can take science away from the man but not the science from the man. (You really can’t do either)

Senku has found people conventionally attractive to a specific statistical standard but not to him personally and probably won’t ever given he doesn’t have a common attraction to physical attributes.

Though through statistics he can still find someone who he would be generally attracted to physically. Someone with glasses, makes their interests obvious ex: paint on body all the time, a lab coat or constantly wearing something of their special interest would be people he gravitates towards.

(As someone who is neurodivergent in the worst ways I think half the cast is autistic or a Shokunin if you will a person deeply dedicated to their craft.) So someone as such will attract Senku not romantically of course but they will be bound to cross paths.

There are a multitude of ways you could meet you might never meet but to keep it simple I’m going to give you a multitude of possibilities to have rot in your head.

Being apart of the school’s science club is one way always spending time with him constantly in the science room after school.

Being a dumbass needed tutoring friends with one of his friends but not with Senku directly, or competing for higher grades, a good enemies to lovers. Maybe you’re even apart of the school’s science club making you and Senku acquaintances if anything.

Senku doesn’t back down from competition when it comes to brains but quickly when it comes to fights. Being rivals to Senku is a good asset in the stone world getting you to be one of the first few people to be revived truly testing if you’re book smart (can do it in theory on paper in school) and street smart (do it for real and faster than the time given in school).

Senku was hesitant more than he ever has been getting in a relationship with you. Being shy was simply not an option for him, he thought it was a waste of time often making him coming off as stiff and blunt.

A relationship of romantic interest with Senku will never be said nor be official. He will never say he loves you or that he likes you even give he believes actions speak louder than words. If you give him time you will see through subtle ways that he is attracted to you. 

He will ask you about things that don’t matter much: like should I choose this or that color the small things…

He’ll allow you to touch his hair if your one for pda, he won’t reciprocated often at most leaning into the touch out of pure comfort. He won’t push you off understanding that this is a love language (that did take him a while to understand.)

Senku’s love language is quality time and gift giving. This is more often seen in the stone world but it expressed as well before hand even more so if you’re a science nerd along with him.

He’ll be willing to conduct experiments with you along with share materials with you which is a rare thing for him being an only child never having to share much of anything.

I believe that Senku is aroace or at the very least ace. He can still have platonic love and relationships but isn’t fond of romantic ones being in a romantic relationship from his perspective is his treating you like a best friend practically treating you like a mixture between yuzuriha and Kohaku.

Suggestive

Anything remotely romantic would have to be initiated by you and 9/10 you’re going to either get pushed off. Or he just sits there waiting for you to get over with it. Something like the (kohaku kissing Senku scene in season 3)

For your sake he has experimented once or twice before with make out sessions or kissing to get you to do something (like get you to do an experiment with him.) any kind of physical touch from him romantic wise once again if not initiated by you. 

He’s a responsible enough person to know better than to have sexual intercourse at his age nor is he interested enough to risk it not that questions about it don’t cross his mind but we’ll explore those much later down the line.

Though he’s more likely to tease you occasionally and lean his arm atop your head if you’re short. Expect this more often if you have curly hair

If you have 4c or curly hair in general he will be near you more often especially if you’re a foreigner. Have issues finding hair products for your hair type in Japan? He got you give him a couple strands of your hair next thing you know he has a whole list of products for your hair and product sample packets surrounding him.

Nsfw

Sorry there is none Senku was not interested in sexual acts before the stone nor very much after.

Though he will ask you a lot of “inappropriate questions” but i promise you he’s just genuinely curious. And he’s not trying to infer anything he promises.

After the stone

As I said Senku’s love languages are gift giving and quality time. This becomes more apparent in the stone world. If you had something you held close best believe he will try his best to make it for you. If you’re an artist he’s make brushes and paint etc…

He’s a bit kinder and softer after the stone. People he has known longer therefore care for more he unconsciously takes them on more missions with him around or in a safe space.

If he knew you before the stone you’re likely to be one of the first people out of stone. Though if not you are an important asset and he sees you for your skills and talents so be grateful for that.

If you’re a creative type expect to be paired with Yuzuriha often. A martial artist or athlete expect Kohaku and Taiju.

What Senku appreciate most is people interested in his work, he loves experimenting and explaining his process even to those a who don’t understand so please entertain him for a while if you expect at friendship let alone a romantic relationship.

People who are aroace can have relationships but they can often be on sided in the romance department. It’s not that they don’t love platonically you they just don’t know how to react to that romantically or don’t want romance.(yall can choose if Senku is aroace or not) As long as you’re ok with that your relationship with Senku will be fine. (I’ll just write him as dense to love for yall though.)

Senku if he does love you will occasionally indulge in your romantic behavior and take this a complent if it was a last resort he wouldn't be against procreating with you. (it took him a lot to admit that so you better take it.)

Romantic relationships are often seen as an inconvenience given he doesn't see the need for them and doesn't think he could would be the best fit for something like that.

He true for the most part but he is able to be in a romantic relationship. It may not be as romantic as a you like but if he has an interest in you he will unconsciously do these things. Don't expect any hand-holding and kissing though.

The only way you could get him to hold your hand is for technical reasons like you not getting lost.

Suggestive

I do agree with the fact that Senku would experiment on his significant other and I think this would be more common before the stone but in small ways.

An unexpected romantic act to see how you respond.

He will use this advantage if gen tells him you like him or something for free labor but we won’t abuse it he’s not that mean.

The only way I could see a “relationship forming” Is Senku using you for labor and “paying you” with physical touch. Kisses, hugs and stuff, he likes you platonically but as time goes on he starts experimenting with you first it’s his far will you go for each type of affection. Then it’s soon how will you react to this or that. He says it’s not you that he loves but the reaction you make like a chemical reaction in your mind. Knowing his autistic ass it might be true but the way he acts makes you unsure.

Or maybe finding a girl smarter than him would rial him up he might see you as arrival at first. You guys could be partners, he swears he doesn’t love you, but the science you create the knowledge you know, that wrinkly brain of yours.

He tends to have a love for things rather than people in a way he loves science and the things people are good at their talents but maybe not themselves, he swears but he does establish relationships with characters like Gen and Chrome as friends so I’m sure he can establish a romantic relationship if we take this route.

Then I could actually get into how Senku would “experiment” with his “friend” this would create an friends with benefits kinda situation but it’s not like Senku sees it like that he just doesn’t have time for labels and probably wouldn’t care about it. Just don’t call him pet names because he doesn’t like it. The relationship would be private so the villagers don’t make a fuss, for as far was that would last with Gen around.

NSFW - ish

Let’s talk about Senku’s experiments

Of course you consented to this but you might know what your getting into 100%

It’s basically just a very handsy check up while he asks you questions you may or may not be able to answer.

Ex: “Are your breast sensitive? There is a high concentration of nerve endings present in that area, making them one of the most sensitive parts of the body. While he’s over here playing with them in every way imaginable. He’s going to continue to do this for every inch of your body and take an analysis writing how painful each part is and or sensitive.

So I’ll let you guys imagine that

Thank you for reading!!

[meirimerens]

do you happen to have any headcanons about pascal curious and nervous subject? or any other sims 2 character for that matter :p

you get answered with anon from like yesterday #oops i had stuff on my plate teehee but Yes.

the nervous subject:

as far as nervous' #deal is i like to go with the Sims 2 For PSP lore that he willingly (or "willingly" - in quotes to express the murkiness of willingness when you're broke as shit) went in with the Beakers because he needed coin. in my head, like many kids who age out of the foster care system, he found himself age 18 not really having anywhere to go (no contact with the family during his stay in foster care), not really having had the best environment to learn any skill, he tells himself well fml 🤷‍♂️ might as well.

related to his 10 active point i think he's strong as shit. does not look like it (macdonalds_napkin_flying_out_of_window.txt). also very endurant - not necessarily fast, but his ass would smoke everyone in a long-distance run because he can just keep going. this is Not A Great Thing in his current #predicament because that just means he recuperates pretty fast from the experiments and so they just keep happening with little downtime.

bruises easily. and a lot because his prioperception is kind of fried so he's got always a blue spot somewhere.

i've #made #him in my ts4 game with a crooked nose and nose scar (which i draw, the crookedness of the nose translates a bit less since i'm always drawing his ass three-quartered) and those i think he got in foster care. even if he exists with 0 nice point i think that's an Experiment thing, he is not truly a Dipshit, but he's very early become quite rowdy. got into a tussle. got his nose broken. "you should see the other guy". this is also very funny to me because one of my OC has that same broken nose+scar deal

on the topic of My OC Has This in my mind's eye he's got tha Y-shaped autopsy scar. hector I Would Like To Award You the Highest Honor I Can Bestow [scars like the weird lesbians of my mind] did not really die, still has it. he understands that's probably a Scary thing for people to see + his ass doesn nawwwt want to deal with the question so when his best fwiend and his two Unsuspecting brothers try to get him to join for a relaxing heatwave afternoon in the strangetown pool he's like "i don't want to take my shirt off [THINKS FAST] because i'm insecure about being bony" and they're like "that's fine man no pressure 👍" [clueless]

le pascal curieux:

on one hand the phrase "gayscal bicurious" i had in the tags of my art once makes me hysterical and i genuinely leep fucking repeating it out loud to myself so often. devilish echolalic sound. on the other it is genuinely funny to me to imagine him realizing years later "why the fuck do i have beef with this guy over his gf i don't even like women 😐😐😐😐🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️". he keeps the beef though makes him feel alive #hatermindset #scorpio

after nervous told him "i have some... weird... living arrangement... and my roommates don't like to hear me play music out loud" pascal started putting songs he thinks nervous would like on an mp3 player. nervous gives it back to him every once in a while and update him on his taste so pascal can add more songs next time they see each other.

now not to get too deep into the politics of the sims franchise's mpreg. a pregnancy narrative hates to see me coming. but in my head... while he's a loving father and is protective and kind and genuinely obsessed with his kid once they're born & tutti quanti towards his little scrunkly... i think he lived the pregnancy pretty Lukewarmly. he knew that it Could happen, but well. the household description does mention "[getting] more than they were "expecting."". i think until halfway there he was like 😬 and then the Weird Scientist Brain kicked in and he was like "this is an Experience". pascal curious I Would Like To Award You the Highest Honor I Can Bestow. Post-Partum Depression (jesting. unless?)

not new of a headcanon because i've drawn it so it's probably obvious I think he's the shortest of the brothers and a Reliable Resident of Stockytown #shawty

bringing together Buddy Erwin Lore and "In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis" i know the inhabitants of strangerville hate to see him hang out by erwin's Listening Station and psychoanalyzing every word that comes out of the mouth of the people he's bugged #nosy

erwin detour because i have this to say:

he drives a two-toned (orange and white) 1980 chevy k30 crew cab. a beat-up thing that he loves so muchhhh. looks like this (but imagine Oinge and not tan/camel)

speaking of cars i have something for Lazlo:

drives a 1986-1988 buick riviera. a purble one. exactly. i see it for him for the little screen inside #vintage #slay

stoner. with peace and love and zero derogatory tone. he feels it makes him think. it does. tbh i see the three dabbling. you're telling me vidcund has this beautiful greenhouse and they don't grow cannabis in there? you know that post that's like. my homie was making edibles and discovered passion for baking now he's a baker. this did not happen to lazlo he knew how to cook and bake completely independantly. but it helps. they let nervous smoke with them and they see him blink normally for the first time.

Ophelia Nigmos my shayla....

she has a Motorola RAZR V3 for phone. it is DECKED to the heavens with stickers and stick-on gems and phone charms

2004 is prime and i mean primeeee pop-punk/emo era (hence why she looks #likethat tbh) and she's deeeep in that. like Simple Plan's "I'm Just A Kid" came out 2002 and i knowwww she's having that shit on LOOP on her mp3 player. due to the fact that She's Just A Kid And Her Life Is A Nightmare

the bloggerrrr i know she is blogging. idk what strangetown could have as a mirror to the 2000s-2010s french "Skyblog" [les vrais connaissent tmtc] but girl... is.... BLOGGING!!!! either a Livejournal or a Blogger.

i just realized how long this poast was #oops but Basically Yes.

[aceofwhump]

hope youre doing well!

just wanted to let you know that i started binging ted lasso the other day after going through your blog for recs on something to watch (as i do, often) and i ADORE it, so thank you!!

i just watched the episode where jamie’s dad is abusive to him in front of the entire team and i have to say that it’s some of the best emotional whump ive seen in a WHILE omg. rewatched that scene so many times,,,,

while im here ill ask if you happen to have any fav jamie fic recs? no pressure though if you cant think of any specific ones, ill likely go through the entire tag on ao3 lol

Hi! I am doing all right thanks! Hope you're well too!

Omg yay!! Ted Lasso is so good!!! I'm so glad you're watching it! Ugh that episode is one of my favorites! The emotions just kill me. I love Jamie Tartt so much. I too watched that scene on a loop. So good.

Oooooh yes I have recs for you my friend! Many! Go forth and enjoy!

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

Emergency Contact by relevanceisoverrated Summary: When Jamie ends up in the hospital after an accident, the hospital has to call his emergency contact, Ted.

The calm before the literal and figurative storm by Multifandom_damnation Summary: They lose to Man City, but they might lose a lot more than a game that day

Barn Raising by altschmerzes  Summary: After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

Scaffolding by altschmerzes Summary: Jamie collapses at training the day before an away game far from home, running a fever, and somehow this ends up being Roy's problem. And Ted's, when he persuades Roy to take it in shifts. It's both of their problem, though it's a problem for them in different ways. Ted struggles to keep the feeling of being helpless from sending him too deep into his own head to stay where he's needed. His experience as a parent both helps and doesn't. As for Roy, hating Jamie was a lot simpler than caring about him is. Taking care of him? Roy doesn't have a clue where he got the idea he was competent enough to do that. Especially when it feels like all he does is mess it up.

The Same Story by altschmerzes Summary: “So,” Trent starts, keeping his voice mild and professional. “We have all, by now, seen the footage from the unfortunate run-in you had with your father, the night of the twenty-fifth of April in the car park at Coventry City FC’s pitch.” It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime. Luckily, Richmond has always been there to catch him on the other side.

Better Angels by altschmerzes Summary: The second time that Jamie shows up, smirking and announcing that he can't participate in training because he's hurt is so much worse than the first time. He's changed a lot, grown up a lot, and no one knows why he's acting like this again when he's put so much time and effort into not being that person anymore. It feels like history is repeating itself, except… something isn't adding up. Sam is the one who puts it together, who sees the proof that Jamie very much is hurt, and has led everyone to believe that he isn't by telling them that he is in a way that sounded like an obvious lie. It makes his head spin, and he doesn't know what to do. Thankfully, his team captain and his coaches are there to figure it out. (Hypothetical season 3 timeline. Completely gen. Jamie is hurt in an accident. He doesn't handle it well.)

Something to be said by macaronicism Summary: First day back in training after what happened at Wembley is awkward, but everyone tries their best.

for speaking through walls by LadyCharity  Summary: When an incident in the match against West Ham leads to a threat to Jamie's well-being, Ted comes face-to-face with what he dreads the most. In which Jamie haunts Ted just as much as the dead.

don't let it in with no intention to keep it by jamietxrtt Summary: "Glass shatters to Jamie’s left, missing the front door by centimeters. He ignores it and ducks out into the cloudy London night, the cold night air raising the hairs on his bare arms. No time to hesitate and grab a jacket now, though, not with the suffocating smell of beer smoking him out of his own house."

it's such a long road when you go it alone by themightyduck Summary: Jamie goes down hard during the last match of the season and struggles to determine his worth outside football. Ted would like to stop seeing his boys get hurt on the field. Roy seeks to become emotionally well-adjusted and possibly even Jamie's close friend.

On Pure Instinct by Dandelion_Orange_Pips Summary:

Jamie was standing rigidly and staring at Ted’s hand in abject horror, unblinking. Then rose his gaze to meet Ted’s, tears now uncontrolled. The world seemed to come to a stop and Ted couldn't breathe. One wrong move.

Ted raised his hands, placating.

Then Jamie’s eyes snapped rapidly to his hand and back, becoming even wider. Ted froze.

“Jamie-”

Jamie ran.

Or: Ted tries his best to keep Jamie together after a tough game. He fails, but maybe it's for the best.

The Invalidated Silent Screams Of The Tormented by Cuppa_Char Summary: When a blast from the past unsettles Jamie it leads to a very public meltdown.

Somehow Everything Will Be Okay by Lilac_Lemonade Summary: What happened once the match against Richmond was over and Jamie's dad pulled him aside? Ted walked away after seeing him with his dad in the treatment room and Jamie thought that was it, just one more person on the list of people that had abandoned him. But what if Ted came back? What if Ted was the one to give Jamie the letter after Richmond's match against Man City?

mind games by sweetsorrowss Summary: jamie tartt is tired of being toyed with. he's tired of being manipulated. he's tired of people pretending that they care. when his father pays him a surprise and unwelcome visit, jamie finds solace in the one person he's convinced himself is pretending the most. but ted lasso isn't pretending, and maybe jamie deserves a place to call home after all.

Thick and Thin and Every Line by LivingProof Summary: In the aftermath of the match against Manchester City, Ted, Roy, and Jamie struggle with demons shared and separate. Then Beard’s here, then his dad is gone, just the gunshot crack of the door to herald their departure. He’d wince at the sound, but his muscles have turned to lead. And Jamie’s here, the only person in this room, the spotlight on him casting everyone else in shadow. He knows they’re out there somewhere, audience to a Greek fucking tragedy, and maybe when this is over they’ll realize they should be applauding.

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation by jumpfall Summary: What Ted remembers later is Beard saying, "Jamie's not putting any weight on it."

To Being Better by vxctorsfvlix Summary: Jamie-centric rewrite of the Ola's Restaurant scene in 3.03, featuring more hurt and also more comfort. Jamie's been struggling with the arrival of Zava, and how it's affecting his relationships with the team. Things come to a head on the opening night of Sam's restaurant.

for what you have tamed by LadyCharity Summary: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." In which Ted and Jamie are tamed by their fathers, their traumas, and each other.

according to the calculations by telm_393 Summary: After everything, Jamie’s not alone.

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones Summary: When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Wings Wouldn't Help You Down by ViolentlyRed Summary: He thought the most awkward thing he'd have to endure was a rigid Roy Kent embrace in the Man City locker room months ago. He was wrong. And he’s getting better at admitting when he’s wrong, so. Turning up on Coach's doorstep at two thirty in the morning was infinitely, infinitely more awkward. Or, Jamie's hurt and not about to say much about it, and Ted's a good coach.

Haunted by WinterAndMissHyde Summary: Isaac and Colin lock Jamie in a storage room at Nelson Road as part of a "harmless" joke. This brings Jamie a lot of bad memories back he'd rather forget and leads him to a panic attack. He also dislocates his shoulder trying to get out. Ted, Sam and Dani are there to comfort him in the aftermath. Set after Jamie comes back to Richmond on season 2.

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

[tackytigerfic]

Writer interview game

Thank you to my pals @arminaa8, @citrusses, @garagepaperback, @houndsinhades, @sorrybutblog, @sweet-s0rr0w, @wholahoop for tagging me - as always i'm deeply late to the party, due to an anxious few weeks/horridly busy work month! so love being tagged in these things though, i appreciate you all and loved reading yours.

how many works do you have on ao3? 69 😏 under tacky and 2 under BrassTacks (the account I set up when I was going to migrate all my fics over to a new name for some reason)

what's your total ao3 word count? 679,422 (nervous laughter) (also this is just the tacky account)

your top 5 stories by kudos? (a clear indication that kudos count means fuck all imo, three of the five of these are very much not my best imo - but which three?!)

If It Takes All Night (E, 11k)

A Lick and a Promise (E, 55k)

Modern Love (E, 62k)

And One To Play (E, 22k)

Through the Window, Clear Skies (M, 1.4k)

do you respond to comments? I used to reply to all, then i fell hugely behind with Modern Love, and then life got exceptionally busy and for ages it was either reply to comments or write new fics. i am currently working my way through comments on my new long fic though - really trying to catch up, albeit slowly.

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? People might say my MCD fic Last Offices. I would say The Quiver of a Heartstring.

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? First Watch, imo - i think they really had to work for their happy ending, and also it's a double Drarry happy ending

do you write crossovers? I have a rough idea for an F1 crossover based on the Grosjean fiery crash/coming back wrong trope

have you ever received hate on a fic? a few times, that stuff doesn't really bother me though. personal unpleasantnesses are much harder to deal with but luckily don't happen often.

do you write smut? yes i do! it's something i've been actively working on improving, in fact. my most recent fic Standing in the Way is probably my best (though the sex scene at the end of First Watch was the one I found most satisfying in terms of the resolution of the fic)

have you ever had a fic stolen? yes, had a few put on that AI voice-recorded site recently.

have you ever had a fic translated? yes, a few - always a great honour as i see translation as an art in itself

have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! and it was very fun. Body Electric with @shealwaysreads and the Dreaming Skies Dronarry fics with @sweet-s0rr0w

what's your all-time favorite ship? look i've been reading drarry since around 2002 so...

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? Dudley with a magical baby/forced marriage/drarry on the run after Muggles find out about magic. MoD Harry who keeps dying but not for good having to go retrieve Draco from death. Draco going through the Veil to get Sirius back. Vicar Harry that I started years ago and would probably need a full rewrite. Caravan park worker Draco in a holiday camp in France. Seer Ron. I have lots. Though I do hope to finish them at some point!

what are your writing strengths? probably immediacy of emotions/ a strong visual style?

what are your writing weaknesses? sloppiness, sameiness, trying to be concise but just making it dull. getting discouraged at never being as good as the writers i really admire.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i... don't really have many? if someone in the story speaks a foreign language and doesn't speak english then I'd find a native speaker to help me translate their dialogue. I would never write an accent/dialect phonetically a la JKR though (RIP Fleur and Hagrid, you deserved better)

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? F1!! I have two WIPs, a Maxiel non-racing AU where Daniel owns an organic farm shop and Max is a finance bro who makes friends with him and joins his 11-a-side amateur footie team and they hook up on a stag do while dressed as mariokart characters, and a Galex fic with Vicar!George.

what's your favorite fic you've ever written? First Watch! I think it's a really good fic (relative to my writing i mean), it does exactly what i hoped it would, and the people who like it seem to really genuinely love it, which is the best feeling. Also I do love the Voldemort-Wins trope and we don't have a huge amount in Drarry so I'm happy I wrote one.

Since I'm so late I'm not sure who's done this already (will try a few F1 pals too in case this hasn't reached you yet) @beloved-child-of-the-house @boxboxlewis @disarmd @elskanellis @epitomereally @faiell @kendra-vendetta @maesterchill @magicalrocketships @powerful-owl @saxamophone @skeptiquewrites

[elliewrites77]

Uncle!Sukuna Part 3

Uncle!Sukuna who doesn't talk to you for another 2 weeks after leaving your house that morning. He isn't avoiding you, of course. He sees you, when you take Choso to school or when you leave to go to the store. He just doesn't have any reason to start a conversation with you. Some days, part of him wanted to talk to you even without a reason.

That's why when Yuji starts complaining about wanting to go see his new friends across the street, he only hesitates for a moment to give the 'brat' what he wants. You make him feel stuff he isn't used to feeling, and he isn't particularly thrilled about that. But he can deny all he wants, he wants to talk to you again. So for that reason, as well as him not wanting to seem like a coward for getting 'nervous' around a pretty woman, he take Yuji over to your house once more, this time in the day time.

Uncle!Sukuna who knocks on your door, politely, just as you're starting dinner. Because of that, Choso opens it. The blank expression on the kids face lights up when he sees Yuji, and Yuji lights up too. Sukuna doesn't even get a word in before Choso is pulling Yuji into the house, the younger boy happily following along.

Uncle!Sukuna who shakes his head, hiding his amusement with feigned annoyance. He lets himself in, shutting your front door as you peak around the corner to see who had arrived.

Uncle!Sukuna who ignores the feeling he gets in his chest when you smile at him, greeting him with a polite hello. He returns it with a nod before explaining that Yuji wanted to play with your son.

Uncle!Sukuna who is surprised, but internally pleased, when you invite him and Yuji to stay for dinner. He immediately says sure, not doing that whole 'i don't wanna intrude' bs. Food was food, but free food was better. Especially since he wasn't the best cook, meaning Yuji and him often ate take-out or very basic meals that got pretty boring after a little.

Uncle!Sukuna who follows you to your kitchen, making himself at home while you get back to it. He finds himself enjoying the moment, the small talk (which he usually hates), the questions about himself.

Uncle!Sukuna who doesn't complain when you ask him to fetch the boys once you're done cooking. He was a decent enough person to figure he could at least do that, considering he just sat there the whole time while you made the meal.

He finds them in Choso's room, barely knocking on the kids open door before he mumbles out 'dinner's ready.', walking away almost directly after. Even then, he still heard the sound of excitement from the boys as they realized they would get to share dinner together and play more. He's, thankfully, able to hide the amused smirk that takes over his lips before he joins you back in the kitchen.

Uncle!Sukuna who actually try's to make conversation throughout the dinner. He doesn't talk much, sure, but he does find himself enjoying getting to know you. He learns that you're the Vice principle of the nearby Elementary school, the same one Yuji will be starting soon. He learns that you've lived here since you had Choso (no mentions of his father or anything), that you volunteer twice a month at a local homeless shelter, and that you don't drink alcohol. He even asks Choso a few questions about himself, albeit awkwardly.

Uncle!Sukuna who helps you clean up after all the plates are cleared and the boys run off again, even when you insist he didn't need to. He doesn't even reply to your words, just silently collecting the dishes and taking them to your sink, starting to wash them.

It flusters you how natural he looks in your kitchen, doing something as basic and domestic as dishes.

Uncle!Sukuna who has to carry a knocked-out Yuji home after him and Choso had fallen asleep on your couch. He helps carry Choso to bed first, though, gaining a smile from you that makes his heart pump a little faster.

He might need to see a doctor about that.

Uncle!Sukuna who, the night before Yuji's first day at school, has a long night at work. he ends up sleeping through his alarm and being late to drop Yuji off. When he goes stomping into Yuji's room, only to find the boy already awake and ready, he figures the brat didn't wake him on purpose.

Uncle!Sukuna who rushes to get dressed and out the door, uncharacteristically panicked to get Yuji to school before he misses too much on his first day. On the ride over, he can't help but muse over how different Yuji has made him in such a short time. The old Sukuna wouldn't have given two shits about Yuji being late, hell he probably would have just let the kid skip all together. But now, this new version of himself, cared about Yuji's education, cared that he got along with other kids and made some friends, cared that he enjoyed it. Old Sukuna would have laughed in New Sukunas face at how he was acting.

Uncle!Sukuna who practically drags Yuji into the school building, having to check him in at the front office since he was tardy. He sees how the young woman at the front desk blushes when he arrives, fluttering her eyes at him in, what he assumes is, an attempt to be flirty.

Uncle!Sukuna who's attention immediately fixates on you when you walk into the office. In his panic to get Yuji here, he had forgotten you were the vice principle.

it had been about a week since the dinner, which was the last time he saw you. He didn't realize how much he had missed your pretty smile until he saw it again when you noticed him.

Uncle!Sukuna who huffs when Yuji breaks from his grip to run to you, hugging your legs tightly and giving you a large grin.

Uncle!Sukuna who wouldn't ever admit the feeling he gets when he sees you hug and greet Yuji back, with just as much excitement on your pretty face.

Uncle!Sukuna who doesn't get a chance to talk to you there in the morning, but does when it comes time for pick up. He gets there a little early (though would never admit why), and chats a bit while waiting for the release bell to ring. During the conversation, he subtly brings up carpooling together, saying that it might save gas, and ensure he actually woke up in time to get Yuji to school and stuff. He says it as if it was a sudden idea, and more for convenience then anything.

Uncle!Sukuna who will never tell you that he had actually been thinking about it all day, and only wanted to carpool with you in order to spend more time together.

------------------

not proofread. let me know what you think :)

[seellove]

Counterfeit Shrines // sukuna x female reader

Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Playing with Fire is Such a Cliche // (6.0k words) // 18+

\|/ AO3 - Chapter 4 | << Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 >>

You're a late bloomer when it comes to cursed energy, entering Tokyo Jujutsu High partway through the 4th year on the support student track. Because of this, you get paired with the only combat track sorcerer without a partner for obvious reasons, Ryomen Sukuna. He's had a tragic upbringing as a human that is part curse with dark expectations for how to live his life. However, after meeting you, he slowly starts to see the possibility of a different path with someone he might love.

Content Tags/Warnings Throughout Work: Reader and Sukuna are Jujutsu Sorcerers in a JJK AU, explicit smut, violence/blood/injury, dubious consent, dubious morality, drug and alcohol use, falling in love, angst, comfort, fluff, happy ending

You were starting to fall into a routine in your new home, finally feeling settled and comfortable with your new life. You and Shoko would go to the cafeteria every morning, then walk to your classes together. Some days Geto and Gojo would join you both, but a lot of times they were away on missions. 

You and Sukuna would meet up to work on your project some nights along with homework from your shared classes. He was often away as well, so you’d make the most of the time together to divide the workload. This caused his harem of fan girls to give you angry looks at times, in their eyes you were taking him away from their time with him. As if you had any say in this, you two had been partnered up against both your wills.

You had been cleared to go back to your combat sessions a few weeks after your hospital stay. That afternoon you and Shoko make your way to the training grounds after lunch. She is complaining about the chemistry test you had just gotten grades back on. 

“I don’t even know why we need to learn this shit if we are just going to be sorcerers,” she groans. 

“If you want to be a jujutsu doctor, chemistry is important to know!” you tease back. She pushes you jokingly in response. You both take a seat in the bleachers, continuing to bicker as friends do.

“Alright partner, I'm ready when you are,” you jump as you hear Sukunas deep voice behind you. Where the hell did he come from?

“What’s up stranger,” you respond. To his annoyance you’d been referring to him as that since the day you started the history project. You took great pride in annoying him, pissing him off greatly when you made fun of him instead of matching his angry energy. Seeing him get all butthurt was entertaining and worth it though.

“She just got back to normal, don’t go being a hard ass again,” Shoko growls at him. 

“Relax, she’ll be fine,” he waves her off. He leaps off the bleachers and stands beside you as you finish lacing your shoes. He leads the way to the far corner of the training grounds near the forest. 

“Can you hold my water bottle for a second, I need to put my hair up,” you say as you walk together. He puts his hand out to take the bottle while you pull your hair up into a messy bun. 

“How’d you do on the test?” he breaks the silence.

“Got an 88, I made some silly mistakes.”

“Ha I beat you this time, 97.”

Your competitive side causes you to respond with an annoyed huff, but deep down you aren’t mad. He’s smart so if there’s someone you’d rather lose to, it was him. All the more reason to do better next time. 

“Gonna have to try harder next time sweetheart,” he teases you, throwing your bottle back at you unexpectedly. 

“Excuse me? Sweetheart?” your voice rises as you throw the bottle back at him, making him leap to the side to avoid the projectile. 

“I said what I said,” he turns around and walks backwards, tauntingly looking at you with his hands behind his head. “Also I’m not getting that,” he gestures towards the bottle now laying out in the field.

“God you are so annoying,” you stomp away to retrieve your water.

“You flatter me so much, thinking I’m a god now,” he chuckles.

You look at him and shake your head, but you can’t help emitting a giggle of your own, trying to fight back a smile. You make your way back over to him. 

“Let’s sit,” he states as he lowers himself to the grass, patting the ground next to him. You follow suit, adjusting yourself to face him. “What kind of training have you had with cursed energy?”

You take a moment to think. You hadn’t been able to detect or manipulate it until the spring of this year. You realized it when you were walking home from school one day and saw a terrifying creature that it seemed no one else could see. You had freaked out, tearing up a sidewalk in the process of it all. After telling your dad, he showed you how to sense it in the earth and push it through voids, but you didn’t truly know how it all worked. 

You explain this to Sukuna who has a very serious expression on his face, absorbing every word of your explanation. 

He shifts to rest his elbow on his knee, his face leaning into his palm. “Hmm, I see. Well the first goal I have for you is to incorporate your cursed energy into your martial arts. But to do that, you need to master distributing it throughout your body.”

He holds up his hand in front of you. “Put your hand against mine.”

You press your palm against his, noticing the huge size difference between you and him. His fingers could fold over yours if he wanted. Suddenly you sense heat in his palm and feel it coursing through his fingers, almost like water being sucked through a tube. 

“You’re controlling this all on your own?” you ask in awe. 

“Yes, I'm taking the source of my energy in my chest and directing it to my hand. Think of it as a pump, pushing the energy through the voids in your body to where you need it. You can use this to enhance physical moves like punching and kicking. It’s the simplest way of using cursed energy for combat,” he explains. 

“First I want you to focus on your chest, I want you to become aware of the source, actually recognize how it feels when it flows through your chest and surrounding areas. I can sense where it is in your body, so I’ll help you feel it out.”

You close your eyes and focus your senses inward, trying to feel a glimpse of the heat you felt in Sukuna’s hand. You think you feel it, it reminds you of being in the shower, feeling water run over your skin except it feels like it's flowing under your skin. 

“I think I feel it, it feels like water flowing inside of me, like a whirlpool in my chest.” 

“Point to me where you feel it.”

You point to a spot just below your breast between your ribs.

“Yep, I can sense it there. Now try to direct it to your stomach area, it should be a combination of pushing it from your chest while pulling it to your stomach. Think of it like a combination of a pump and a siphon.”

You struggle to do this, feeling like the energy is just ricocheting off your ribs and surrounding area. It gives you a feeling like heartburn.

Sukuna can sense your energy beating up your innards. “Stop for a moment, let me demonstrate,” he says shortly as he suddenly pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the ground. 

You have been trying to take this seriously, but you are a woman who appreciates a sculpted man at the end of the day, and boy was there one right in front of you. Tattoos emerge from his shoulders and wind over his chest down to his waist, disappearing to what lies below. His muscular chest and rippling abs accentuate them even more, the sharp ridges making your core clench for a second. Chiseled V lines disappear into the waistband of his pants which are dangerously low on his hips. 

Oh lord, he’s fucking hot, because of course he is. You can’t deny this as you feel your body flush and swallow deeply, trying to ground yourself. 

“As much as I appreciate you eye fucking me right now, I do actually want to finish this lesson,” he laughs smugly. He abruptly reaches for your hand, yanking it towards him and placing it on his chest. You feel light headed, forgetting to breathe momentarily, the world almost dimming around your peripheral.

Pull yourself together dammit. How could you expect to be a decent sorcerer if you are so easily weak in the knees. 

You feel his rock hard body below your hand, but you also can sense the swirling heat inside. It feels very controlled though, unlike the chaos you felt within you. Your heart is pounding, can he hear it? Can he feel it through your hand? 

“You feel that right?” he snaps you back to reality.

“Ye-yes, I can feel it flowing, counterclockwise?”

“Correct,” he moves your hand to his upper abs now. You are convinced you are going to just die right here, you are going to stop breathing altogether and just forget to replenish the oxygen. You can feel the energy flowing down his body towards his stomach, sensing a sucking motion pulling the energy down while his chest pulses, pushing the heat south.

“Oh I do feel it,” you murmur, concentrating on the feeling. “I think I can do that-“

“What the fuck are you all doing??” a shrieking voice jolts you out of your trance, startling you. “Get your hands off of him you whore.”

You turn to the side and see a girl in all black and black hair storming towards you both. Her face is contorted in anger, the rage emanating off her in waves. 

“It’s not what it looks like! I was trying to feel his energy, wait, are you his girlfriend? I’m so sorry!” you stumble over your words, putting your hands at your side and jumping away from Sukuna. 

“No Yorozu is absolutely not my girlfriend, just a girl I fuck,” his voice dripping in anger and disgust as he side eyes her. 

“Don’t you dare!” Yorozu yells back, “we are exclusive, you said so the other night.”

“Psh, and you believed that?” he responds in a mocking tone. 

“What is this about being exclusive with her,” another voice yells from behind you. It’s Kiko, the blond you recognized from your first day. “And why did you have your filthy hands all over him?” She points at you, her eyes shooting daggers. 

What the actual fuck, you think to yourself. You did not want to get in the middle of whatever this is. 

“I’m just trying to learn about cursed energy, I don’t want anything to do with Sukuna in that way,” you shout at them, trying to make yourself heard.

“Please, I’m already aware you are nothing to him,” Kiko harshly says to you. “Yorozu, quit being a homewrecker.”

“I’ll be over here practicing,” you look at Sukuna, not bothering to wait for a response, your main goal to get the fuck away from this love triangle. You move closer to the trees, intent on practicing channeling the cursed energy through your body, using your hands as a guide similar to what you and Sukuna were doing. 

You can’t help but overhear Yorozu, Kiko, and Sukuna arguing. Well it was more so the girls shouting over each other with Sukuna just standing there with his hands in his pockets. What was so special about him that had these girls acting insane over him, especially when he seemed to treat them poorly. Must have out of this world dick game, you laugh to yourself. 

You feel yourself succeeding with your practice when you see Sukuna reappear, now alone, and no longer shirtless. He doesn’t say anything, just observes you. You can now get cursed energy to flow controlled into your hands and to your waistline. You are tired though, not realizing how it takes a toll on you both mentally and physically. 

“Why don’t you take a break,” he finally breaks the silence. You nod and join him as he sits on the ground, obviously moody now. He fidgets with the grass, twisting his finger around and ripping blades out of the ground. 

“You sure do have a way with the ladies,” you tease him. “One girlfriend is hard enough, let alone two.” 

He smirks, still staring at the grass, “I’m not committed to anyone, I make that very clear to them and anyone I sleep with.” 

Your mind wanders, imagining him sleeping with multiple girls, surely there are more than just these two. “Do you like one more than the other?”

“I don’t like either of them. They fulfill a need and that’s it. If they disappeared tomorrow I wouldn’t care,” he bluntly responds. 

You are taken aback by the harshness. You know that’s just how some guys are, but it’s different hearing it said out loud. “Do you think you’ll ever find someone you would want to be committed to?” 

“I guess eventually, I have never really considered it. I have a certain standard of what I’d want in a partner, sex is just one facet of that, important but not that high on the list.”

“Mhmm,” you hum in response. “Well what I was going to say was that I am not trying to insert myself into…whatever that all was, I value you as a friend and mentor, and am not trying to negatively affect your love life. But I guess it's not very much reciprocated by you,” you chuckle.

He perks up at your words, “Oh, have I graduated from being a stranger?” 

You laugh as you return his gaze. “Yeah I think you have, I’ll get you a cap and gown. Might not fit on your massive ass head though.”

He crinkles his brow in annoyance at your comment as he stands up, holding out his hands as a signal to pull you up. 

“Food?”

“Yes please!” 

***

You and Sukuna have never done anything that isn’t school related alone together. You recognized and valued his intelligence, so you preferred to do school work together. While chatting happened, it was usually short lived to focus on the task at hand whether it be studying, tag teaming homework assignments, or working on your group projects. Most interactions consisted of him making rude jabs at you while you would mock and tease him much to his annoyance. 

There was a sense of comfort though when you were around him. Like you knew what you were getting and you didn’t need to worry about his intentions. His bluntness was refreshing in a way compared to your previous school where someone could get along with you one day but hate you the next, for no apparent reason.

Eating together however was a new activity. It didn’t constrain the conversation, there were no math problems or cursed energy manipulation to hide behind. You two would either converse, or sit in silence. How and what you talked about would be up to you and Sukuna. 

You weren’t embarrassed to be seen with him, it was no secret to your friends that you two would work together, and he was your combat partner after all. Shoko would egg you on about becoming his next fangirl, but you would shut it down by saying you were friends with a common goal, and nothing more. 

Sukuna and you drop your bags off in your rooms and make your way to the dining hall. You see him texting on his phone, a twinge of annoyance on his face. That’s nothing out of the ordinary for him though. His face might permanently be that way with the consistent scowl he seemed to display.

He speeds through the line, already knowing what he wants to eat while you linger longer to scope out the options. 

“I’m going sit, don’t take too long,” he says gruffly as you wave him off. You decide on a chicken salad with a side of fish and rice. You definitely eat a lot more here compared to the past, as using cursed energy wrecks your body. Scanning the room, you spot the top of his pink head and neck tattoos peeking out of his shirt.

Placing your tray across from him, you go to grab a drink. You love the selection of fruit sodas and decide on a peach flavor today. 

Sukuna makes a face as you place the drink down, “you would drink that.”

“What does that even mean Sukuna? Hating on random drinks now?”

“Yeah I am, that shit is trash.”

You take a big gulp and let out a dramatic sigh, “well good thing you don’t have to drink it. Just drink your milk like a child.”

“Milk is not childish, brat. It builds strong bones. Maybe you should drink more of it considering you broke your hand on my face.” 

“Tch,” you roll your eyes, not giving a response. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Sukuna abruptly changes the topic.

“Yes, I have a younger brother and sister. They are elementary school age. What about you?” 

“I have a younger brother, different dads though.”

Swallowing a spoonful of rice, his words perk your interest. 

“Oh what’s your brother like?” you question, being nosey now. It's the first you’ve ever heard about his personal life.

He points across the room to a table with a black haired boy and brunette girl with a bob. “Those are his friends, not sure where he is now, but he has pink hair like me. He’s a first year student.” 

“Oh cool, that must be nice for him to have an older sibling here.”

“Psh he’s too soft. Needs to toughen up if he wants to be a good sorcerer.”

“You can be a good sorcerer and not be an asshole,” you retort. 

“It’s better to not have feelings and attachments though. Makes it easier to focus on your goals without stupid distractions.” 

“So what are your goals?”

He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “Well I do have goals that are personal to myself, but what I can share is that I want to be the strongest, a master in understanding and wielding cursed energy.” 

Your eyes widen a little. “Goals personal to you huh? What does that mean?”

“It means you don’t need to know the details,” he snaps back. 

His vague answers leave you feeling a little uneasy, but you decide to let it go for now. “Are your parents sorcerers?”

“My dad is. He taught me everything and has been training me since before I can remember.” 

“Sounds like a tough childhood. I spent most of my time just playing sports, exploring the neighborhood with friends, typical kid things.”

“Sounds incredibly lame,” He says dryly, looking bored. 

“What do you do for fun that doesn’t revolve around jujutsu?”

“Well I do like video games, reading, watching food shows and trying new foods, fucking-“

You practically spit out your drink at his vulgar answer. He looks at you with a hint of amusement in his eye, “what’s wrong? Do you not like it?”

You feel your face flush. You’ve never done more than kissing and feeling up with your ex, and you would not be able to handle having a conversation like this with Sukuna of all people. 

“I think it’s fine, just not something I expect to hear in a conversation in the cafeteria. Are you just trying to get a rise out of me?”  

“Maybe, it seems to be working. So who are you fucking around here?” He challenges you, placing one elbow on the table and resting his head on it. He seems very engaged in the conversation now, reveling in your discomfort.

Shit what should you say? You know next to nothing about sex, so he’ll know if you’re lying, but you don’t want to give him a reason to ridicule you. Fuck it, you’ll be honest, if he makes fun of you for it, that’s his problem. You are a grown woman and confident in your choices after all. 

“Nobody, doesn’t really align with my goals right now,” you meet his gaze, awaiting his response. 

His grin cocks to one side, nodding his head slightly, “hmph, interesting.” 

You are shocked he doesn’t push the issue, “that’s all you have to say? I was expecting something more on brand from you.”

“I respect your convictions, even if they might not be for me,” he shrugs. 

“Well thanks for not roasting me for once,” you laugh. 

“I’m sure I’ll make up for it later,” he says with a mischievous look. 

You both finish eating and linger for a little longer, engaged in a heated debate on the best super smash bros character.

“Well we will just have to put it to the test and play with each other sometime,” you laugh. 

“Sometimes there are tournaments in the dorm common area,” he says.

“Oh so you want to lose in front of a crowd?”

“Please brat, being delusional isn’t a good look.”

***

A week passes and you can now consistently control your cursed energy throughout your body.

“Let’s try some sparring now,” Sukuna announces to you as you sit on the ground. He’s looming over you, his massive figure shielding you from the sun.

“Okay don’t send me to the hospital again,” you retort, only half kidding.

“I’m not going to do that, can you all just let it go?” he snaps, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“No I can’t, you literally broke my ribs and punctured my lung.” 

“Quit whining brat, you got over it.”

You stand up now and look at him expectantly, awaiting further instruction. “Ok so how are we doing this?”

“You come at me like you while channeling cursed energy into your blows. I’ll block and dodge only. Oh, and come at me with the intent to kill, it’s the only way you’ll stand a chance,” he grins as he bends his legs, standing on the balls of his feet.

“So confident aren’t you,” you roll your eyes at him. You start to walk away from him, creating some distance. 

“Yeah I am, you have no idea what I’m capable of,” he says coldly. You briefly wonder what he means by that, feeling a little intimidated, but you quickly come back to the task at hand. All you can do is trust him to not hurt you again.

You channel cursed energy into your feet, propelling yourself at him at increased speed. You wind up, powering up your fist, and swing at Sukuna. He lifts his hand up, letting his palm absorb the impact. He makes a face, brows lifting in surprise. 

“Damn that was a nice one, more like that,” he looks on excitedly, lips curling into a smile. 

“Can I use my technique,” you ask as you attempt to swing a kick at his lower legs, your hands planted on the ground as you lash out towards him. He jumps over the move and you quickly deliver a blow to his stomach, catching him off guard. 

“Yes, I said to come at me to kill.” He rubs his stomach after the impact from your hit. You felt him move cursed energy to that spot just before impact to block the hit.

You channel energy to your hands and quickly push it through the earth, trying to grab onto his feet. You notice it feels a lot easier now, as it’s similar to pushing the energy through your body. 

You quickly continue sending cursed energy through the earth as you sprint at him again. You both spar with hand to hand combat, Sukuna dodging and blocking all hits, not trying to land any on you. You pull the cursed energy towards you that you sent into the earth and lock onto his feet, immobilizing him enough to land a kick on his shins, releasing him from your technique.

He hisses through his teeth at the impact, not able to hide that you did cause a bit of pain. You continue your sparring until you wave the white flag, flopping onto the ground in exhaustion and a slight headache from all the cursed energy manipulation. 

Sukuna stands over you, not even breaking a sweat. He drops your water bottle next to you and sits down at your side.

“I think you are ready for missions,” he announces to you. 

“Oh I forgot about that,” you stare wide eyed as fear settles over you. 

“Yeah, you have to apply what you learn brat. Combat students are supposed to take support students on 2 to 3 missions a month. They are for very low grade curses though, nothing to worry about. Plus I’ll be there.”

“What grade are you?” you question him. You hadn’t actually seen him try very hard yet.

“Grade 1. I’m the strongest, brat, believe me. I won’t let anything happen to you,” you see his eyes soften and you know he means it. You relax a little. 

“When do we go?”

“Probably tomorrow,” he says nonchalantly. 

“Tomorrow??” you exclaim, “that’s like no notice.”

He chuckles and crosses his arms, “Do you think curses just wait to appear when it’s convenient for you?”

“Shut up no that’s not what I meant,” you huff as he looks at you, amusement in his eyes. 

He begins walking away from you back towards the campus buildings. You rush to catch up, falling into step with him. 

“What do I need to do to prepare for the mission?” 

“You’ll need an overnight bag for sure. Other than that you don’t really need to do anything. We will get driven to the site and we just get out the car and exorcise the curses. Then the driver will take us to a hotel or inn for the night, then we come back the following day.” 

“Do we all get separate rooms,” you blush at the idea of sharing a room with Sukuna.

He snickers at your question, “yes we will be in separate rooms. Nothing is stopping you from letting me in yours and vice versa.”

“Ha ha good to know,” you laugh fakely. That doesn’t last long though as you find yourself face first in the dirt after Sukuna trips you.

“Watch your step brat,” he has his hand over his mouth trying to suppress his laughter. 

“You are insufferable,” you yell at him. Thankfully you two are the last ones out here, so no embarrassing moments for the whole class to see. 

He keeps walking and stops to wait for you against a tall decorative brick wall that lines the walkway back to the campus. Dusk is rapidly approaching with the days getting shorter. Crickets had begun to chirp, signaling the sun going down. 

You catch up to him again and find him leaning against the wall. You stop in front of him, waiting for him to keep walking. Instead he licks his thumb and presses it against your cheek. “Got some dirt on you here,” he teases.

“Hmm wonder how that happened,” you try to wince away, but his fingers squeeze your cheek, not letting you move.

He rubs small circles on your cheek. They become gentler and you feel the backs of his fingers graze along your jawbone, trailing along your skin until they stop to rest on the back of your neck. Your breath hitches and goosebumps run down your arms at his touch. Your eyes dart around nervously as his fingertips push down firmly on the back of your neck, beckoning you closer to him. You can smell his cologne mixed with musk, a result of you both sparring for hours. He moves his hands to rest on your hips, guiding you so now your back is now against the wall, the sharp points of the brick digging into your spine. 

Your heart is racing now, feeling like it is going to spring out of your chest. Your lips part slightly as you look up at him, he looks ethereal in the dim light. The glow of his eyes give him the look of a predator looking down at his prey. 

Sukuna leans one hand against the wall above your shoulder as he lowers himself to your face. His eyes are half lidded and their usual blazing red begins to darken. His other hand comes to rest on your hip, pulling your body flush with his.

His face hovers in front of yours and it feels like an eternity. You want to close the gap between you, but you hesitate as nervousness sets in. Your eyes look down at his lips, then back up to his gaze. They are gorgeous, morphing into a deep red like hot coals as the tension intensifies.

Fuck it, you finally decide. You loosen your jaw and close the distance between you, your lips landing on his. Your mouth doesn’t move at first, body practically in shock at what you just did. The world is suspended temporarily as you dissociate from yourself, a dizzy feeling starting to consume you. You slowly start to regain feeling in your body, noticing his soft lips, the harsh grip on your hips, and the soft brush of his nose against yours. His lips are softer than you expected given his rough demeanor.

Sukuna’s tongue runs along your bottom lip, which causes you to part yours in surprise. He takes this opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips, meeting yours as he groans into your mouth. Your noses brush against each other clumsily as you figure out each other's rhythm. 

He nibbles at your lip, coaxing your tongue back into his mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck for support, threading your fingers through his fluffy hair. He tilts his head, allowing you to probe deeper into his mouth, exploring the inside of his cheek as he rolls his tongue against yours. He hums, lowering his hands to grip your ass, pushing his body against yours until you are pinned against the wall. You can hear nothing but the symphony of crickets in the twilight and the wet sounds of his lips on yours. 

You break the kiss, desperate for air, making a popping sound as your lips disconnect from his. Your breaths come in gasps as you try to steady your breathing again, coming back down from your high. He presses his forehead against yours, eagerly awaiting your lips on his again. 

“You kissed me,” you say in a bewildered voice. You almost can’t believe it. It’s something you truly never thought would happen, even though you have fantasized about doing worse with him before. 

He smirks at you with lidded eyes, his voice a low rumble, “technically you kissed me brat.”

“Whatever.” You attack his lips again with more force than the last. He matches your energy with a hunger you weren’t expecting, forcing himself back into your mouth, finding the insides of your teeth and sucking your tongue, eliciting a sharp moan from you. You push your hands beneath his shirt, hands running along his abs. The ridges and dips of his muscles are apparent, squeezing them with your nails as you grasp onto him, attempting to ground yourself. 

You can feel him hard against you, throbbing with your every moan he captures in his mouth, clearly enjoying this just as much as you. He pulls back this time, staring deeply into your eyes. His crimson gaze is intense with hunger, almost like he could devour you on the spot. You blush profusely, and emit an awkward giggle.  

“Did you like that?” Sukuna’s husky voice asks as he tries to not so discreetly adjust himself in his pants. 

“Mhmm yes, you’re a good kisser,” you stumble over your words. Why would you say he’s a good kisser? You cringe realizing your brain short circuited in its recovery from the intimate moment.

“Hmph,” he hums, feeling smug. You both tidy up your clothes and hair, attempting to hide the evidence of the heated make out session you had just partaken in. 

He leads you back to the dorms in silence, both of you not daring to speak as he walks you to your room. “I’ll text you the info for the mission either tonight or tomorrow morning.”

“Ok sounds good,” you unlock your door and push it open. You look back at him, your eyes locking with his longing gaze, “good night Sukuna.”

He swallows hard as he stares back at you, his mouth forming a tight line, “night.”

You close the door as he walks away, the mirror on the wall revealing a massive grin plastered on your face. He’s an asshole. A hot asshole who wanted his tongue down your throat. Probably a one time thing, but then again, playing with fire is such a cliche when you’re willing to get burned.

Sukuna POV

I make a beeline back to my room, trying to hide the bulge in my pants I’d failed miserably at subduing. My pants are so damn uncomfortable, constricting my cock which is desperate to be freed. I fumble for my keys and finally unlock the door, slamming it behind me. I know if I don’t take care of this I won’t be able to focus the rest of the evening.

Entering the bathroom, I turn the shower on to warm up the water and strip my clothes off. My hand immediately palms the thick head of my cock and as I groan with relief at the friction I was so desperate for. What am I even doing? So gone off of a kiss and nothing more.

It was so hard to stop with you earlier, I wanted to take you against that wall and fuck you senseless. I step into the shower and lean against the wall, water running in rivulets over the contours of my muscles. Stroking my full length now, my mind goes back to you and that wall. Pre cum spills from my thick tip, giving me extra slick to pump my shaft. The image of holding you up, legs locked around my waist as I drill into you, stuttering my name between moans has my dick throbbing as I imagine burying it inside you again and again.

My grip tightens around my shaft, pumping faster now as you shatter beneath me, your walls gripping me so snugly. I lean my head back against the shower wall, my hand sliding up and down my hardened length with urgency as I feel the orgasm looming. The final image of you crying my name as I fuck you through your climax pushes me over the edge. I groan loudly, eyes shut tight and body tensing up as spurts of cum begin to coat the wall of the shower. 

As the waves of pleasure finally cease, I open my eyes and sink to the floor, not caring that the water is now pelting me in the face. Allowing myself a few minutes to come back to earth, I can’t recall the last time I came so hard from jerking off. Finally I stand back up and quickly finish washing my hair and body. 

I stride across the room to my computer to check mission assignments. As a grade 1 sorcerer, I check the website multiple times a day to see if anything perks my interest. This time though, I filter by low grade assignments for your first mission. 

An abandoned home in a neighborhood 3 hours away is reportedly haunted according to kids breaking in. Grade 4 max. Sounds perfect for you. I mark it taken and type both of our names in, noting it as support training. Looks like the driver will pick up at 9 AM tomorrow. 

Me: we leave at 9AM tomorrow. Plan to eat before we leave. I’ll meet you out front beforehand.

You: Okay sounds good. Anything specific to pack?

Me: a change of clothes for afterwards is a good idea, fighting curses can be messy. 

You: got it. Well cya tomorrow, have a good night! 

I close the computer and flop onto the bed, a twinge of excitement coming over me. I honestly can’t remember the last time I kissed someone and that was it, but for some reason I can’t get it out of my head now. I get back up and fish out the half open bottle of whiskey from under my bed. Hopefully that can help calm me down and get some rest.

<< Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 >>

Masterlist

[velvetvexations]

one of the wild things for me, just from my perspective, about the whole "male/female socialization" discussion is the extent to which it applies outside of "bio sex" too, and the fact that it is applied outside of that might be where some TRFs have gotten it in their heads that all trans women are secretly seen as women

speaking from my own experience as someone who was afab but spent my early childhood as a "genderweird girl" (tomboy to the nines, became a trans man in adulthood, etc) is the extent to which i was simultaneously punished for not doing Girl right, but also because i was a tomboy i was expected to still adhere to masculinity in a "correct" away among those who DID accept me as a tomboy. if i, as a tomboy, had "girly interests" my more tomboy or boy peers would react with a "Ugh that's so gay" and i have actually been called a faggot for it, disparaged for it, made to feel shame over it, etc, despite having been afab and identified as a girl at the time. like, generally people absolutely didn't like that i was a masculine girl, but those who "accepted" that i was got mad when i didn't do masculine right either and would disparage me for being faggoty. and when i did show interest in other boys, that was unacceptable and invasive only in a way where if i'd been a gay boy. though at the same time i certainly wasn't encouraged to be a dyke either. and throughout it all i experienced constant misogyny and have had horrible misogynistic violence inflicted on me. but also androphobic violence?

to add onto that, i know of those who grew up as masculine girls who were raised with expectations of toxic masculinity rather than femininity, because they were tall, strong, broad, "boyish", "naturally masculine", etc., and they're disparaged if they seek out femininity

and then on the flip side you have boys who grow up feminine or at the very least genderweird and especially as they socialize more with girls, they are to uphold expectations of femininity in those spaces while still being disparaged for not doing boy right. but as a Feminine Boy if they do masculine things, they are outcast by those who "accepted" them as feminine. sure the "mean girl catty gay twink" is a stereotype that is applied harmfully but not one without basis in reality, and when as men they are cruel they are cruel in ways often attributed to the feminine or to women, and these men also often experience misogyny from their peers in some way or another

this is why we really need to take seriously the idea that anyone can be subjected to transmisogyny and transandrophobia (and exorsexism!), because we see it all over the place in the earliest stages of child socialization and applied in ways that defy biological sex even

i think what happens is that people are classed along gendered lines for both biological sex reasons and for secondary characteristic reasons.

"if you are a big broad girl you have failed at being a girl for being big and broad and we will never let you live that down but you best never try to access femininity because what you are defies what i think is feminine and what feminine should be. so you better be big and broad and strong and not cry and not wear dresses"

and "if you are a small weak boy you have failed at being a boy for being small and weak and we will never let you live that down and whenever you try to access masculinity we will disparage you and hurt you and treat you as lesser for it and someone as small and weak and non threatening as you cannot be a real man because it defies what i think are real men"

as far as trans people are concerned there are trans people who were gender conforming before transition and those were not gender conforming, and so we have such wildly different experiences coming into the trans discussion, which is heavily treated like we need a one size fits all definition of The Trans Experience

idk it feels clunky to say there is "masculine socialization" and "feminine socialization" (without just creating a Second Binary) and these can be applied regardless of agab while people are still punished for not adhering to the expectations of their agab, but i have no other way to describe it. just that i think we need to discuss it more because it is so much more complex than we're currently allowing into the discussion

Yeah, exactly, either AGAB can be socialized either way, or neither. TRFs just assume that anyone who says "male socialization" must be trying to say all trans women were male socialized because they know TERFs say that and they haven't bothered to read anything beyond that.

[saturnzskyzz]

Ler In-ho with Gi-hun tkl headcannon's!!!

Everyone clap and cheer for my first headcannon request!!! Clap it up 👏👏👏 thank you @ryoko-loves-roses for this request! I don't make that much headcannon's, so bare with me 😭🙏 I also didn't say this on text, but In-ho tickling Gi-hun to lift up his spirits is such a good headcannon!! Might have to take that into consideration and wip up a fic after blasting through my fic requests ✍️ (I'm sorry for how long this is 😭 I might've gotten carried away)

ANYWAY!

I feel that since Jung-bae and Gi-hun have reunited in the games, Jung-bae has a sudden urge to pick on him for that, and how he does it is through poking his sides or stomach, causing Gi-hun to break into a small, nervous smile! And since they have their little group with In-ho and everyone else, he notices this quite often, and so that's when he takes it upon himself to use that fact for himself!

How I think he'd tickle Gi-hun as a way to lift his spirits up, I feel that he would go light, and try to make it seem like they're friends just having a good laugh because he's having to make amends with these people in order to fit in, so he.. OH so totallyyy shows him just a tiny bit of mercy because he's acting with those who are in debt.. Totally not because he's also enjoying the fun banter... Totally.. Only a tiny bit though.

-he goes light and is cautious, but also, he still have that evil side with him.

-he'll literally forget half way through tickling Gi-hun as to why he's even tickling him in the first place, causing Gi-hun to become breathy with his giggles. (it's the contagious and interesting sight he sees from Gi-hun just losing his Michivious and dark persona just by a few pokes to the sides)

-he'll even laugh with Gi-hun because that's how contagious his giggles are!

-he'd give teases here and there, and would sometimes tease too much, resulting in Gi-hun laughing his fucking head off because he can't handle the teases while being tickled, so In-ho is now dealing with a flustered mess of a puddle infront of him. (He teases him about that too)

-I think his tease would go along the lines of;

"I'm glad I've caught Jung-bae poking you, this is just perfect!"

"You're seriously this sensitive? For you to be a previous winner, I'm impressed!"

"Can you hear yourself right now? I'd mistake you as a little girl!"

"Awe, are we going all flustered now? That's cute."

OH MY GOD Gi-hun would flip on a table and break it by the harsh landing cause WHAT?!

Since he's wanting to lift his spirits, I don't think he'd use his free hand to pin Gi-hun's hands.. I KNOW IT'S A CURVE BALL BUT TRUST ME!

He'd leave them free to roam and thrash cause let's be honest.. Gi-hun isn't doing shit 😭 (touch-starved much??)

And he'd also tease him about that too!

"You got all the hands in the world, and yet you don't even stop me? It's like you wanted this to happen."

When he's done, gi-hun is such a flustered mess that he just stays there for a few minutes, resulting in In-ho giving his left over milk that he would have to give him to calm him down!

The aftercare like that is on instinct because of past tickle fights with Jun-ho I'M SORRY-

I hope these were good! I wanted to focus on the idea you had for Gi-hun having his spirits lifted cause aaaah!!! That's a good idea!

[dyns33]

Anything goes

I started another Cooper Howard's story and I'll be honest, it's hard for me to complete it, but I'll do my best !

Y/N had become little Janey Howard's babysitter several months after her parents' divorce.

Before that, her father and mother always found time to take care of her when the other was working, or they would entrust her to their governess.

This was no longer possible for Mr. Howard, who had to pay alimony to his ex-wife, while having a lot of trouble getting new roles because of the rumors surrounding him.

It was said that he was close to the Reds, that he was a traitor, even though he was a war hero, and the face of Vault Tech. He would have used this position and his wife's to obtain information and sell it to the Chinese.

Nothing had been proven, but it could explain the breakup, as well as the time it took to find a good babysitter. Many women were afraid to ring Mr. Howard's doorbell, not wanting their reputation to be tarnished, or wondering if the man had other dark secrets that could put them in danger.

There were also those who wanted to get closer to him to get information that they could sell to journalists, or have their names in celebrity magazines.

Y/N didn't care about all that. She needed a second job to pay her rent, she liked children, was discreet, and hadn't really heard about all these stories before Mr. Howard brought them up during their interviews.

Seeing that she didn't understand at all what he was referring to and that she was a trustworthy person, he was ready to give her the job. But first, Janey also had to validate her.

It was love at first sight with this child. Y/N had already babysat, and she had never met a little girl as cute, as lively and as endearing. She only had to say hello and give her her name for Janey to give her the most beautiful smile in the world, asking if she wanted to play with her and her dog, Roosevelt.

"I would need you on Wednesday afternoons, weekends and sometimes for several days but I will let you know in advance. Does that suit you ?"

"Perfect, Mr. Howard."

"Cooper, please. My father was Mr. Howard. Unless it makes you uncomfortable, I would understand. And if someone bothers you… Tell me."

At first, Y/N thought he was talking about his fans, his detractors, the paparazzi. Indeed, there were quickly new rumors, claiming that they were having an affair. Maybe even before the divorce, when they didn't even know each other at the time.

It took several months for Cooper to admit to her that he was mainly talking about the Vault Tech employees. He had signed a confidentiality agreement, in order to have the right to continue seeing his daughter and so he couldn't say anything concrete, but he knew things. They weren't nice.

"They might contact you." he told her while pouring himself a drink, after going to see the little girl who was sleeping peacefully. "To offer you money to find secrets or to ask you to leave. Being able to take care of Janey is another condition, and they are good at scaring away the babysitters."

"I'm sorry, Cooper. Don't worry, I'm staying. You'd be lost without me, and I love Janey."

"She loves you too." he smiled, looking at her with sparkling eyes, placing his hand on hers.

Since the divorce, he saw few people apart from his daughter, Y/N and people linked to the small jobs he managed to find, minor roles or entertainment at birthday parties.

There were still a few more or less loyal friends. One of them was Sebastian Leslie. Of course, he was also afraid of reprisals, but he had already sold his voice for the dubbing of all the Mr. Handys, ensuring him a pretty fortune.

His visits were rare, but he came with gifts for the prettiest girl in the world, and flowers for the most patient person ever.

"Miss Y/N, of course, who deserves all our respect for being in your presence so often and not having lost her mind yet."

"As always, you are hilarious."

"I've heard things, but now that I see you, wonderful Y/N, I know it's impossible. You can do much better."

"Thanks, Seb." Cooper sighed, patting Y/N on the shoulder in apology for the nonsense.

She didn't mind people thinking they were together. First, because people were stupid. And most of all, because she wouldn't have minded if it were true. She liked Cooper.

Sure, he was a little older than her, but he was charming. Funny, smart, kind. When they were all together with Janey, they sometimes did activities that made them seem like a family.

But she wasn't family. His marriage had had a difficult end, he had trouble paying her some months, and if he wasn't completely depressed yet, it was because he didn't want to lose his daughter.

It was a surprise when Mr. Leslie came knocking on her door, urgently asking her to follow him, without really giving an explanation. Sweating, worried, he mumbled incoherent things, when he wasn't yelling at his driver to go faster.

Still unclear, he took her arm to put a pitboy on her. Y/N had already seen them on television, or worn by well-dressed, very important, rich people.

"If you're asked, my dear, you are my adorable niece, my only heiress, with whom I insist on living the renovation of the world."

"… What ?"

"I know you're not an actress, but I hope that hanging out with the best of us has helped you a bit in this area. You'll have to be convincing, even if I'll be talking most of the time."

"Mr. Leslie…"

"Uncle Seb. Or Bastien."

"I don't understand anything at all, you don't…"

"Listen to me." he said very seriously, squeezing her wrist. "We don't have much time. They're going to blow everything up. I know Barb is going to take measures for her daughter, I know it. I can't do anything for Cooper, but he loves you very much, so this, I can do for him. At least the little girl will have someone sane to take care of her afterwards."

"What the hell are you talking about ?! Where are Cooper and Janey ?!"

All his attempts to calm her down seemed in vain, Sebastien ended up giving her a sedative, with the help of his driver. No doubt she was transported to the shelter while she was sleeping, put in a hibernation box next to her "uncle".

A very nice robot sounding like him was the first thing she saw when she woke up.

He cheerfully announced to her that she had been sleeping for over 200 years, that her uncle had unfortunately passed away, having woken up long before her, but having left a message for her.

"My dear niece, thank you for your patience and your trust. We always hear funny and stupid things these days, like the fact that I can no longer offer you flowers. But they are growing outside, I hear. And a little girl is waiting somewhere. There are fewer eyes when it's dark."

The message wasn't hard to decode. An apology, first, but mostly the assertion that it was possible to get out of the shelter without too much danger, if she waited for the right moment. Apparently, Janey Howard hadn't been placed in Vault 93.

Getting out wasn't that complicated. In fact, Y/N didn't even have to play the secret agent, she asked Mr. Handy, who passed her request to the overseer, who accepted it without resistance. She was able to take food, clothes and a weapon, before leaving, receiving encouragement from everyone, even if they didn't see who she was at all.

In any case, she was one less mouth to feed.

The real problem was surviving outside, and finding Janey. Y/N was not a fighter. She understood that there had been nuclear explosions, that the world was destroyed, now populated by dangerous creatures and unbalanced survivors.

But there were still good people. A woman showed her the way to Los Angeles, or what was left of it. A man advised her to avoid the North, explaining to her what the Raiders and the Deathclaws were.

And a strange couple offered to accompany them, to prevent her from being killed in her sleep or because of the mines.

Well, the young woman offered, smiling and polite, dressed like the inhabitants of the shelter and wearing a pitboy. She seemed genuinely delighted to meet someone like her, murmuring that it would be a change from her grumpy friend.

The said companion clearly did not come from a shelter. The radiation had dug into his skin. Y/N had heard of them, these ghouls. This one wasn't very talkative, his face half hidden by a cowboy hat, staring at her with a strange, almost shocked look.

"Don't pay attention to him, he's not good with people." said the girl whose name was Lucy. "I don't even know his name. We had a rough start, but he's calm now. We're a team !"

"Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you."

Lucy shook her hand. The Ghoul continued to look at her without saying anything, before continuing on his way. For the girl, it was a good sign, he hadn't ordered her to leave or caught her with his lasso.

Since things had changed, Y/N accepted that this could indeed be good news, but she followed them mostly because she didn't really have a choice.