#it takes a lot away from the story as a whole

[sarahreesbrennan]

I remember reading in one of your blog entries (years ago??) that in the new book you were writing, the main character's *sister* had cancer. Does that mean that Alice was originally the main character of Long Live Evil? Was she going to go into the book to save Rae, instead of Rae going in to save herself?

How extremely kind of you to remember!

No, that was actually a YA murder mystery that I wrote while ill, revised while recovering, and sent out into the world where it died on submission. (Which means we sent it out to about 12 editors and the editor either said no, or said yes and took it to acquisitions - a group of people at the publisher including sales and marketing - and acquisitions said no.)

One editor told me she really wanted and really tried to buy it. Another person who worked in publishing (and has since changed jobs, or I wouldn’t share this) said the response at her acquisitions was - if you like this writer, find the next her (implications about health and youth were made).

I was terrified my agent was going to ditch me too, but she said ‘We’ll sell that one day, for now let’s write the next thing.’

I remember another writer telling me she missed my work that wasn’t a tie-in, and I felt ashamed to tell her it wasn’t that I wasn’t writing other things - it was that I couldn’t publish them.

The tie-ins meanwhile were paying the bills (they still are tbh!) and I was and remain so grateful for them. But I also really loved writing them - especially my Sabrina tie-ins, you don’t forget the first, and it reminded me I want to write horror and poly one day - and how they got me to love and sympathise with so many fandoms.

I see the burnout of caregivers all around me, and I wanted to write the story of one. But maybe I also wanted to take a step back from cancer. I didn’t think I did, at the time. I had a whole lot of things I tried writing before Long Live Evil, and I think some of them were really good. One of my critique partners gave me a lipstick with the same name as someone in the murder mystery. There was a romance novel another critique partner said was her favourite thing I’d ever written. But none had someone with cancer at the heart of the story.

And even though Rae isn’t much like me, maybe I had to start there. You can’t make real magic using someone else’s liver. Maybe I had to wait to be brave enough to use my own liver.

I do get requests for advice on how to cope with rejection of your writing, and I always worried I didn’t have anything else to say, but I suppose my example says - if you can, (and I know it’s hard, you feel so terrible at writing and so useless) (and you love the work you’ve done so much and you don’t see a way forward to loving the next thing) (but still, if you possibly can) write the next thing.

Even if the first thing sells, you’ll want the next thing one day. Writing the next thing is more writing practise, so it’ll make you better. Write the next thing.

Ultimately I’m really glad Long Live Evil was my comeback book. I think it needed to be. It took the time it took.

But maybe it was a shade of that past book (where the heroine’s sister with cancer was six, so not much like any of the Time of Iron characters) that made me think of the YA version of this book, which I always had in my mind as something I was intentionally hewing away from - a more straightforward book, a book that might have sold better - in which shy reader Alice was the hero. She’s the one with the suggestive hero name - Alice through the looking glass - the heroine looks, and the more projectable-upon personality. She’d get called annoying less often (though still some, because she’s a girl), partly because she is (with love, Rae knows I’m right) a genuinely less annoying person. Much kinder, much sweeter, and much better at in-depth reading! Her sister being in trouble would’ve been a backstory, a catalyst point, and - you’re totally right - a great motivation for her to get the Flower. Saving a family member is a much more sympathetic and heroic motivation than saving yourself and one I do love (the Hunger Games, Labyrinth, Mahy’s the Changeover, and I write it a lot!). I think Snarky While Tragically Dying Rae would’ve been a pretty popular side character, too. I think it would’ve been a good book! Just not mine.

I love your question because I love thinking about POV, and all the decisions that are the building blocks of a story. To me, the Alice centric Time of Iron is a version that exists. As are several versions of the Lia centric Time of Iron. And versions centring other characters exist to me, too. (Eric, absolutely.)

Speaking of POV musing, I think Rahela the wicked stepsister featured more in the musical than the book. If the Time of Iron series ever became a TV show (and at this point in time I think I’d rather a movie because it wouldn’t… get cancelled…) and I got to write it (don’t know why I would…) I would start with the beginnings for three characters about to go on a journey to somewhere strange to them: Key in the Cauldron, Rae in the hospital, and Vasilisa in the icelands. There are so many possibilities! And I really wanted the sense that there were so many possibilities, too.

But I wanted the chronically ill one to be the centre of the story, and for it to be her villain origin story, and to ask a lot of questions (hence a lot of villains!) about who gets villainised and why. And I thought hers, to my mind, would be the most fun of all the possible stories.

So that’s the one I made. But Long Live Evil has a lot of origins. Thank you for remembering one of them! I don’t think I would’ve dared tell the story, if things hadn’t worked out for me (so far, fingers crossed).

And I also tell it to be clear my publisher was taking a RISK with me and Long Live Evil, and I really appreciate that, and I’m so happy it’s worked out for them (again so far, early days, fingers crossed, etc).

I hope some writers - whether in the process of submission, rejection or making the choices that are the building blocks of story - find this helpful, and some readers find it interesting.

Let this be one of the universes in which your story is told.

[gay-furry-poseidon-lover]

"dont pick and choose" where is this enthusiasm for any other crimes that are blantly stated as happening in the musical?

Epic the Musical isnt meant to be perfectly accurate to the original poems. In Epic, we get "seven years shes kept you trapped out of your control, time can take a heavy toll." And then Calypsos songs from her perspective. They are emotional songs, thats like... what musicals are supposed to do, make you feel stuff. Lots of people dont interpret Epic Calypso as a rapist, because its not explicitly written to send that message.

Are we gonna talk about The Odyssey or are we gonna talk about Epic the musical. They are different. "people like Circe," In the Odyssey, Odysseus did not have a choice to sleep with her. He had to. Its not that people just suddenly dont care that she assaulted him, its that Epic is showing us a different version. And Epic's Calypso is shown differently as well.

"I spent my whole life here, was cast away when i was young, alone for a hundred years, i had no friends but the sky and sun," This is what we get about Epic's Calypso's back story. That is different from versions of the myth where Calypso just goes and lives on an island.

However you feel about her is fine, youre allowed to not like her, to hate her even. But this is a fictional character based on a fictional character in a poem from a very long time ago. These arent real people. Odysseus is not on the internet, hes not reading posts about people analizing Calypsos character in a musical and feeling victim blamed or retraumatized. And if you relate a lot to Odysseus and that makes you hate Calypso thats fine. Not everyone sees her in your same context though, and thats not an attack on you. If this is something that is so distressing to you, block people who post about her, hit not interested, stop engaging with it. Take care of yourself. But you don't get to just decide that nobody can like this character ever, and that if they do they're a bad person who thinks rape is okay.

Works of fiction aren't real. Obviously I think that killing a baby is horrible, whether the gods told you too or not. But I still love Ody. That doesnt mean I dont care if people kill babies. I enjoy Zeus's character and songs even though he forces Odysseus to choose between the life of his crew or his own, which is like definitely immensely traumatizing. Enjoying his part in the musical doesnt mean i think thats good?

A lot of characters from greek myth have raped people. But we have the understand that obviously that is bad and wrong, and we would never be fans or sympathize with abusers in real life. At least I do. I havent seen a bit of discourse about Zeus (one of the most famous aggressors) or about any other gods. People enjoy them freely, and thats generally fine.

Why is Calypso treated so differently. Like i don't think anyone is literally arguing that rape is good and its okay that Homer's Calypso did that, nor are they saying that to any victims in their life. And if they are, obviously thats bad. But people just enjoying this character isn't.

May I just point out that calypso is apologising (no matter how backwards it comes off ) only when Odysseus was finally freed by someone else from her.

And that until then she was still actively pushing Odysseus’ Boundaries??

Lighter mot or no she kept this man against his will for seven years. And she didn’t GROW UP on that island. She had a life before that— that led her to be trapped by the gods.

Like she IS a sympathetic and tragic character but let’s not act like she’s innocent.

“for seven years she kept you against your will”

THIS DAMN LINE. LISTEN. BLOODY LISTEN TO IT ALL. DONT PICK WHAT YOU CHOOSE.

There’s a REASON people don’t have an issue with Circe. Are happy to see her as a FRIEND to Odysseus. CALYPSO IS NOT THE SAME CASE.

[wisted-twunderland]

What’s in the TWST boys’ makeup bags?

I love that many of the guys in Twisted Wonderland wear makeup and that it’s so normalized. That made me wonder: what’s in their makeup bags?

Ace: Before coming to Night Raven College, he thought wearing makeup was girly. Upon seeing so many of the guys in his dorm wearing it, he decided to give it a try. Uses a red eyeliner pen for his signature heart near his eye.

Deuce: The spade near his eye is actually made with a makeup stamp, since the shape is difficult to get right freehand. He has a minimal skincare routine and often forgets to wash his face, but tries to remember because in his mind, honor students have skincare routines.

Cater: has a lot of half used products lying around, because he always goes out and buys whatever is currently popular on Magicam. Doesn’t leave his room without BB cream.

Trey: Doesn’t wear a ton of makeup, but he does enjoy wearing it from time to time. Honestly he spends more time and energy on dental hygiene. (???)

Riddle: Applies his eyeliner with precision and blends out his eyeshadow perfectly every single day. He likes makeup because he thinks it makes him look more mature.

Leona: Can’t be bothered to wear a ton of makeup everyday, but he does know how to apply it, being a prince. When he does go all out, he likes a smoky eyeshadow and black mascara.

Ruggie: The only makeup he owns is a dried up black eyeliner pen he got out of the clearance bin at Sam’s to wear with his ceremonial robes. He swears it’s perfectly good and it still has product inside, you just have to soak the tip in water for a couple of minutes.

Jack: Doesn’t care much for makeup, but he is a stickler for sunscreen use. He uses one that matches his skin tone and smells like coconut.

Azul: uses more makeup than you might think by just looking at him. He always does his base makeup and likes to use dark purple eyeliner to match his dorm uniform when he is running the Monstro Lounge. His contour is nearly undetectable but if he didn’t wear it you’d notice right away.

Jade: Uses a thin black eyeliner pen to create a shrewd cat eye look. His lips are always moisturized and he always has a high end lip balm in his suitcoat pocket.

Floyd: Thinks makeup is boring. His lips are chapped and the skin on his face tends to be dry and patchy. He claims it’s because he’s a merman living on land but the truth is he just doesn’t care.

Jamil: Putting on makeup every morning before Kalim wakes up is Jamil’s “me” time. His eyeliner game is strong and his contour is on point.

Kalim: He likes sparkly eyeshadows, but Jamil always ends up helping him blend it out. When he does wear eyeliner he is constantly smearing it and Jamil is constantly redoing it.

Vil: His makeup routine is extensive and full of high end products, but Vil can get it done in 15 minutes flat. His skin care routine, however, is another story and the whole process takes 45 minutes, including drying time.

Rook: loves a gradient blended eyeshadow. Draws his eyebrows on every morning after plucking them into oblivion in a fit of passion in his quest for beauty.

Epel: still thinks makeup is kind of for sissies and not manly, but he is starting to change his tune and enjoy it more. Has a bag full of products Vil instructed him to buy and taught him how to use. When he tries to sneak out without it on Vil sends him back to his room and makes him wear it.

Idia: Ortho bought him an under eye concealer for the dark circles under his eyes due to late night raids, but he has never used it. Owns several unopened eyeshadow palettes from crossovers with his favorite anime. He also has several pairs of colored contacts for cosplay, but he has never worn them outside his room.

Ortho: His silicone skin is incredibly high quality and makeup can be applied just like human skin. He likes to apply some cheeky blush from time to time to give himself a more lifelike appearance.

Malleus: Has an extensive collection of makeup, mostly dark eyeshadow palettes. Being raised by Lillia, he has been able to apply a perfect smoky eye since he was only 100. His nails really are naturally black, no polish, but he does file them and apply a shiny clear top coat.

Lilia: Has a huge bag full of cheap eyeshadow palettes that he likes to play with. Doesn’t leave the house without eyeliner.

Silver: wears makeup, although you can barely tell, since he keeps it very natural and minimal. Is very conscientious about only using brands that do not experiment in animals.

Sebek: uses a minimal amount of makeup to look put together; uses excessive amounts of hair gel. He even gels his eyebrows to make them that shape.

BONUS

Grim: washes his face twice a day with his own spit.

[thegreymarveljedi]

Permanent Scars

(Hunter + Omega + Echo (NO ROMANCE!!))

This is a fic that was requested to me by @genericficerblog

I apologize for how short it is and for how long it took me to finish but I am actually quite proud of how this turned out!

Characters: Omega, Hunter, Echo

Type(s): Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Setting: Rex's Ship

Era: Shortly after Season 3 Episode 7

Other Small Details: Omega mentions something about her time on Kamino when talking about Tantiss. When Hunter and Echo probe a bit later, Omega gives an insight into the horrors she endured.

Please also include Omega showing her extensively IV Scarred Upper Arms/

(I hope this isn't too heavy for you)

This is not my usual type of story but I think branching out and writing different things is good and I think it helped me a lot.

I also want to preface again that there is NOTHING ROMANTIC BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS. Whatever is in this story is strictly between siblings. If anyone tries to say otherwise you will be blocked from my page indefinitely.

Warning: ANGST!!, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of medical procedures, needles, scarring, medical equipment, neglect, mistreatment, loneliness, Hunter and Echo being dads.

(DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THE WARNINGS ABOVE!! There are plenty of other fluffy stories on my Masterlist that are not angsty)

Words: 1.2K

—————

The ship was quiet for now, not many words to be spoken between the group after their losses on Teth. Rex and Hunter continued to speak in hushed voices as everyone else tried to shake off the awful feelings of the close calls.

Omega had woken up and was still leaning against batcher, just looking at the needle scaring on her left hand. She was used to endless needles from her time on Kamino and just like those scars, these would fade but never go away.

Omega stood up and walked over to Echo, taking his hand in hers. Echo jumped a little at the contact, not expecting Omega to be up.

“Everything okay kid?” He asked and kneeled down to her height, checking her over briefly.

“Do we have any bacta on board?” She asked quietly. Echo’s eyes went a little wide and he gave her another once over but Omega stopped him by raising her hand.

“I’m not hurt, I just want to put some on to help the scars fade,” she said and Echo visibly winced at the many needle marks etched into the young girls hand.

“Yeah, let’s go get you some,” Echo said and ushered Omega to the back of the ship, helping her sit up on the cot they had there.

Hunter had heard the whole exchange and from where he stood with Rex, excusing himself to check on Omega when he walked into the space, he closed the door to give the three of them privacy, walking over and giving Omega a short hug.

Omega returned the embrace readily, let her shoulders relax. Echo returned with bacta not a moment later and Hunter helped Omega out of her jacket, only to be left in her outfit from Pabu.

“How are you feeling Omega?” Hunter asked, checking Omega over just as Echo had done.

“I’m doing fine,” she replied shortly as Echo pulled up the sleeve of her left arm to rest in the middle of her forearm. He took her hand a gentle began to massage the bacta into it, being mindful not to apply so much pressure to the still slightly tender skin.

Omega closed her eyes and tried to breathe, not used to having anyone but AZ to help her with this process. Hunter Nnoticed and put his hand on Omegas shoulder, encouraging her to take deep breathes.

“I’m sorry if it hurts kid,” Echo said as he finished up, closing up the tube of bacta and going to put it away.

“It’s okay. Nothing I haven’t gone through before,” she said, looking down at her now bactaed and wrapped hand.

“What do you mean?”

“What?”

“What do you mean it’s nothing you haven’t been through before?”

Omega hesitated with her response, not having fully discussed with her brothers the exact treatment she received on Kamino. She trusted them immensely but this was something she didn’t like talking about. Echo had returned and was now standing with Hunter, not wanting to push Omega but also curious as to what she meant. She sighed, knowing it was futile to hide anything from her brothers.

“Tantiss wasn’t pleasant by any means. But somehow I was able to endure what they put me through. The needles everyday, the sight of my brothers beaten down and broken, the stoic faces of the doctors and the unforgiving loneliness I felt,” she spoke softly and Echo and Hunter listened. Both of them felt guilty for her capture after Eriadu, the lost of Tech hitting everyone hard and making them vulnerable.

“It felt almost like Kamino in a way. I was alone except for Nala se, the other Kaminoans were never mean but they also weren’t welcoming to me. Watching everyday as more of my brother came in from the front lines injured or shaken up was awful,” she took a deep breath, wiping away some of the tears that had gathered in her eyes. Recounting her time on either planet was hard, but she wanted to push through talking about it.

Omega rolled up her sleeves further and both Hunter and echo gasped at the shear about of scars that littered her arms. There were about 100 needle scars between both arms, some patches of skin bruised to indicate some kind of patch being used as well. There were a few scars along her forearms that indicated a scalpel had been used and burn marks here or there. Her arms were covered in them, all reminders of her time on Kamino not just as a science experiment, but as a prisoner.

“Omega,” Hunter whispered almost silently. She put up her hand to stop him as she kept talking.

“I was an experiment to them and nothing more. To Nala se, I was like a daughter but one that she could use as a test subject without feeling guilty about it. My blood was take, parts of my skin were tests, I was hooked up to wires almost everyday,” the haunted tone behind her voice made Echo turn away briefly to wipe his own eyes, flashes from his time on Skako Minor returning to him. She stood up and moved the hem of her pants down just the slightest bit to show the scars on her hips as well.

“They took bone marrow, part of my liver, so many things were taken and they always left scars. With time they faded and with AZ’s help I put bacta on them to help them heal and fade faster but the scars are permanent,” Omega said and readjusted her clothes, making sure that her scars were covered up once again.

“It’s not something I like talking about but I guess it gets easier when I do. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” She said and Hunter enveloped her in a tight hug, leaving no room for argument.

“You have nothing to apologize for Omega, none of this was your fault. Not Kamino, not Tantiss, not any of it,” Hunter spoke softly, his own tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he held his sister. Echo wrapped his arms around both of them, trying his best to contain his emotions as he patted Omega’s back gently.

“You’re safe now Omega. You’ll never be alone again. No one will hurt you anymore and you won’t have to go back to either of those awful places,” Echo said and he felt Omega nod into the hug, her shoulders shaking with raw emotions.

“Thank you. Both of you, for never giving up on me.”

“You’re our kid Omega. You always will be.”

Echo nodded in agreement as he pulled away from the hug. Hunter slowly did as well, keeping close to Omega as she wiped her eyes.

“Thank you listening to me. I know it’s not easy to hear about this, especially for you Echo,” she said and looked to him. Echo shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Like you said, it gets easier the more you open up about it,” he said and squeezed he shoulder very gently. Omega smiled at him and wiped away the last of her tears.

“We’ll protect you kid. I promise,” Hunter said and helped Omega down from the cot once more. She nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist again, wanting just one more hug. Hunter happily Obliged, wanting to reassure Omega that she was safe and sound.

—————

If you or someone you know has gone through a traumatic experience, please reach out to a helpline. DON’T go about suffering in silence. You’re loved by people and there are people out there who want to help you❤️

[nadas-dirthalen]

A Veilguard Achievement Icon Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore... but Was I Right?

PART TWO: What Veilguard Did Narratively, and What That Tells Us Going Forward

[ 1 ]

Hello again, friends and travellers. Now that I've beaten Dragon Age: the Veilguard, I wanted to go through all those 30,000 words of predictions that I wrote in the ~11 days leading up to its release. I'd seen an achievement icon that pieced together a lot of Dragon Age lore for me.

But, I hadn't played Veilguard. All I had was the footage from September 19, the achievement list, and anything else BioWare had released.

So... was I right? And if so, how much was I right about?

This is your warning:This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.

(my davrinmance is going great as i try and collect every codex, thanks for asking!)

Today's Discussion: to Understand Dragon Age, We Must Understand Its Writing.

Before I can go any further on why I think the way that I think, or why I imagine the story might take us in certain directions, it's essential that you all understand where I'm coming from. Veilguard, like any game, is a piece of art. Its bones are built with similar narrative structures to novels (though not identical, and that's important!). To make sense of what's to come, we must examine Veilguard's bones the same way.

I've seen a lot of people wondering why, for instance, the Inquisitor is not Veilguard's protagonist. I've seen people lamenting the fact that there were not on-screen clarifications of popular lore theories. Before this series goes any further, I need to say my piece about why I believe that it was essential that Veilguard was written as it was, and why its writing does in fact help us better predict Dragon Age's path forward moreso than even Inquisition.

That said, today I hope to cover:

What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why

The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters

The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens

The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games

What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why

Let's get this out of the way right away: it has been 10 years since Inquisition. And, like it or not, that means one gigantic thing for BioWare: if they wanted to have any hope of making more Dragon Age, they needed to bring in new players and resuscitate the interest of many old players who did not stay in the fandom the whole time. They didn't—and couldn't—write Veilguard specifically for you or I, people of Tumblr. If they did, it would've pleased us... and then cost them so much money that we'd never get any more Dragon Age.

That doesn't just mean modernizing the game's aesthetics, or providing a glossary in its Codex. It means they would have to balance all of the following (just at a glance):

Managing the learning curve in general. Not even I looked in the glossary as I played. Me, supreme enjoyer of all codices ever. It's just not something most players are ever going to do, as much as it the lore is such a fundamental part of the game in general. That means simplifying terms where possible — elven gods in place of Evanuris, for example — but also trimming down what would have to necessarily reference past games. Only a tiny fraction of the fanbase has played Inquisition in the last 3 years, nevermind this year.

Recontextualizing the lore. That does not mean rebooting it, it means situating all we have learned so far in a framework that fits all we have learned so far. Much of what we learned about the Evanuris seemed, for so long, to be totally separate for the things we knew about the blight and Blights. Veilguard needed to show us how those things relate, and to do so in a fresh context that would allow everyone to develop new understanding.

Pushing us one step past Inquisition's knowledge. Veilguard, after reframing the lore, had to leave us a path for new lore, and increased understanding. I think the devs put it really well when they say that their aim is to give us some answers, but leave us with even more questions. More on that later, and in future posts.

Updating Thedas' ethos. Let's face it. It has been 15 years since Origins came out. The things that were more typical of scifi/fantasy (SFF) then are just not the same now, and would not be perceived by 2024 players in the same way as by those who started Origins in 2009. The world has changed; our cultural understandings are broadening and need to continue broadening. BioWare is doing a good thing by incorporating things like nonbinary identities into Veilguard, and it is good that Veilguard is progressing the world of gaming in that way, especially considering its success. (This is also, I wager, why we choose an Archon out of two choices who want the same thing, rather than leaving that open to a more "evil" option).

Dislodge older fans from their Solas headcanons to get everyone old and new to the same confusion and potential distrust. Hear me out. Everyone who's stayed since Inquisition has beliefs about Solas. Even me, who got here in March of this year, whose fic reads overly soft now because I just didn't know Solas' grander plan until 48 hours before Veilguard came out. Everyone has had headcanons for so long that everyone has had time for their opinions of Solas to cement themselves. In order for Veilguard to work as a story, they had to debunk what everyone thought they knew: both lovers and haters of the famously controversial egg. By breaking down our existing beliefs, the devs open up essential curiosity from the players as to who—and what—Solas really is, which propels us through the narrative and has us absorbing information.

And this curiosity? It is why Veilguard could not have the Inquisitor as its protagonist. To keep us curious as players (and "readers" of the lore), BioWare needed a new protagonist.

Specifically, they needed Rook.

The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters

Here's the thing. The protagonist is not just the face of the game. They are our vehicle to understanding that game. The plot follows their wants and responds to their understanding. What they don't know, what they want to know, is what makes up our every objective. Their emotional journey through the game is our emotional journey through the game. Following it, going after the things that matter to our protagonist, is how the entire game (including its lore) takes shape in our minds.

That's why it's essential that they don't know everything—especially after a ten year interim between games.

Veilguard's plot and twists proved that the Inquisitor did not know everything. They, in fact, knew less than half of everything. If we had kept them as the protagonist, all of our knowledge and curiosity would be shaped by the Inquisitor's understanding: a wrong understanding. We could constantly be fighting with what we think the Inquisitor should know, what should be true because we had seen it through the Inquisitor. We would be set up to be at odds with the very events of the game. Rook is a blank slate, barring a few key tonal indicators, and that blank slate allows for us to fit all previous lore into its new, recontextualized shape that I mentioned above. (Again, note that I am not saying rebooted.)

That, and Rook has multiple motivations. The Inquisitor is focused largely on stopping or saving Solas; Rook is charged with figuring everything out as it is happening to them in real time with almost no context or experience, AND stopping or saving Solas. The Inquisitor has existing allies and resources; Rook does not. Rook must build their own campaign from the ground up, and that means the player is building their own experience from the ground up. Their allies, abilities, and home base, yes, but also their knowledge. Discovering things at the same pace as Rook, with a similarly urgent drive to do so, keeps the game from infodumping at us. It keeps the reveals evenly spaced, but also immediately interesting to the player.

And best of all? Rook allows the writers to do what they want to Solas without breaking his dynamic with the endless sea of Inquisitors (or, at least, with way less risk of doing so). We needed to have our theories about him broken down and rebuilt as players; to do that to the Inquisitor would damage an entire sea of headcanons. We'd never get the Solavellan ending we wanted, for instance, if Solas had played mind games with Lavellan for that many months. And if Solas didn't do those things, if he'd been wholly defanged, he would have lost his appeal and importance in the narrative. He wouldn't be the Dread Wolf in the ways that matter to Veilguard.

It's important, then, that Rook has just the slightest bit of backstory. They care about their allies. They are not a potential political force like the Inquisitor. They have many options to be impulsive. Every single Rook has rebelled against authority. Every single one has a stubborn streak. BioWare put all those qualities there on purpose, because Solas uses every single one, in every single Rook, as a tool. That was all essential for his character development in this game! At the same time, they couldn't do that with the Inquisitor as protagonist, because after 10 years, no two Inquisitors are similar enough to predict/script their actions and responses in that way.

Those twists are perhaps the most important tool for forward momentum in the game. The more they keep us guessing, the more we'll play and seek new information, the more we'll learn. Which brings me to...

The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens

Like I said: BioWare couldn't just infodump at us in Veilguard. It wouldn't be interesting to even half the fans that stayed, these ten years. To keep us engaged as players, they had to string the lore through a series of engaging events. Keep the momentum up, so we would not be lazily looking over codices, but chasing new knowledge and understanding. It all had to be emotionally relevant and resonant to keep us caring, because very few people play games they don't care about.

Veilguard, like a lot of written art, follows the three act structure. Though there are a lot of variants on the more precise beats, they all broadly follow the same-ish path.

Hook: The opening image. In Disney movies, this is the song where the character sings about all the things they want in their journey, and what they truly need is only implied. It gives an opening note for the theme by showing what the character lacks, and what they might need to gain before defeating the final villain. In Veilguard, this is our prologue, centered entirely around Varric: the big red herring where we see that Rook is out of their depth, opting to push over a support beam rather than take on the Dread Wolf. Off-screen, it is also the background information about Rook, showing us who they are and what they want before we play.

Inciting Incident: The event that kicks off the main plot. In DA:tV, there's a big collection of these (because every companion needs one; we'll get to that). The first big one is, of course, the failed ritual. The death Rook doesn't see. The Evanuris are freed, but Rook has only half the information.

First Plot Point: "Plot Point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak. This is the moment the protagonist decides to go forth on their adventure. In video games, this is more or less determined for you, but you have the option to flavour this moment in Veilguard. You can choose how to tell Solas that you'll do what he wants: either by appeasing him or angering him. You do the same for Neve and Harding afterward, and then again in Arlathan and D'Meta's Crossing. You state that you're doing this, no matter what it takes.

First Pinch Point / "The Setback": "Pinch" means "twist" in writer-speak. It's the first time the narrative is shaken up, and is also usually the first time we see the true scope of the villain. In Veilguard, the first big twist has been called "the Setback" by some of the devs (notably, I heard it at a panel in September). For Veilguard, this is Weisshaupt. We see the true scope of Ghilan'nain's horrors, but we also see the first BIG hints (outside of Varric) that Solas is manipulating us—because he really doesn't seem to hate the Wardens as much as Inquisition enjoyers like myself expected. This event concludes act 1.

"New World" / "Fun and Games": The devs have remarked that they wanted to see the tone of their setback (Weisshaupt) threaded through the rest of the game, and we do: through Davrin and Lucanis' banter, through the reflections on the consequences of Weisshaupt, through every character struggling with their confidence and identity after that point, through the blight getting worse and worse and worse. That's what the New World is: the characters getting used to new circumstances after that first big twist. The Fun and Games are the slow and steady recovery from the twist, warming and solidifying formerly tenuous relationships. This is where we do a lot of companion and faction quests.

Midpoint: In a narrative that ends in a victory (so most games ever), the midpoint is a false victory. We think we've nailed something, only for something else to happen that begins to seed doubt in the protagonist's capability and/or ability to solve the plot. For Veilguard, this is the blighted dragon fight: we think we've got Ghilan'nain, but then Elgar'nan shows up and demonstrates that Rook is in so, so over their head.

Second Pinch Point: The second twist. The villain's identity is crystal-clear, and by now we've definitely interacted with the villain more directly. This is Arlathan, Elgar'nan's mind-trap—and Solas' "rescue" of Rook, showing his duplicity in full. Elgar'nan notably says a line about not falling for Fen'Harel's tricks again, and it foreshadows what we will see of Solas.

Disaster / Crisis: This is the event that triggers the protagonist's downward spiral. Not a twist (necessarily), but a catastrophe. In Veilguard's case, it's both: the Ghilan'nain fight leaves one companion dead-dead and another presumed dead. Then, the twist: Solas using Rook's sharply felt regret to pull his gambit and swap places with them. A series of events that literally had me gasping so frequently I got dizzy. Thanks, BioWare :) Many people say that this event, or something between this event and the "All is Lost" beat, conclude act 2. For games, the pacing is sometimes different, as is the cutoff mark, because otherwise the third act has the potential to be very short.

"All is Lost" / The Dark Night of the Soul: It's exactly as the name suggests: all has been lost. The protagonist doubts themself completely. It seems like nothing more can go wrong, and like nothing might ever go right again. The protagonist is at a loss for how to move forward. In Veilguard? Varric is dead. Davrin/Harding is dead. Bellara/Neve is dead. Rook is literally trapped not only in their regret, but in a reflection of Solas' regret. And to get out, they'll need...

"The Epiphany" / Second Plot Point: "Plot point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak, as stated above. Only this one contains more layers than the first. This is where the thematic statement of the piece comes out: the lesson that the protagonist must learn is stated, clearly, for all of us to see. It is the thing that picks them up off the ground, giving them strength to face the climax and the danger it promises. In Veilguard, this is Varric saying to Rook, "Have you learned nothing here?" and reminding both Rook and player that he chose this; Rook's companions chose this; we cannot blame ourselves for the actions of others. We cannot carry grief for other people, or we'll drown in it. Sound like any other character we know?

Climax: The big fight! But also, the big moment where the theme is shown to be the narrative key. In every ending of Veilguard, Rook being Solas' perfect mirror is the key to winning the day against the Dread Wolf. It just depends on what facet of Solas Rook chooses to mirror: the trickster, the nasty combatant, or the person who was haunted by their own failings and lost companions.

Resolution: Narrative threads are tied up, or a promise is made to tie up those loose ends in future installations. Veilguard's credits do both of those things. :)

Why am I telling you all of this? Because the lore must follow that skeleton. Every reveal we get must fit into both the timing and the feeling of those events. It would not fit to suddenly drop everything about the Titans right after Rook gets to the Lighthouse, which is why those enemies you need to kill to get the last memories are level 30-40. It would not fit to uncover everything about the blight's origin before Weisshaupt. If they forced us into that as players, all the casual fans and new players would duck out, feeling overwhelmed.

Even for us older fans, narrative structure shapes significance. You can tell a lot about a codex's overall importance and tone just by understanding where you find it, and when. That's why the Trespasser codices carry so much weight, even the ones about the Evanuris' actions that we don't see on screen at all: they are at the bitter end, and so they carry all the bitterness, longing, and mourning of that ending. Without the context of Trespasser, they mean less.

This is also why Veilguard paces its companion quests this way, not allowing you to complete them until later in the game. Every companion has something to teach us, and BioWare wanted to give each companion's narrative the weight it deserved.

The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games

Anyone who's played Inquisition knows that companion quests shape entire facets of the lore in individual games, as well as set us up for the trajectory of the next games. Just look at Solas and Cole: together, they shaped our whole understanding of spirits in Veilguard. They set us up to ask all the right questions about not only spirits being bound as demons (Solas' quest), but about spirits being able to manifest in physical shape (Cole's quest). Together, their narrative conclusions foreshadowed much of the Evanuris' reveals in Veilguard: that they were spirits who could manifest into corporeal shape, and that they had the ability to ask others to manifest—and then bind them.

Again, these quests are paced throughout Inquisition's main plot. You cannot do their before Skyhold, and you cannot do them after the cutoff of (I believe) the Temple of Mythal. Inquisition forces you to see those quests' endings in the exact right spot: sometime around the midpoint (Adamant/WEWH), but before the disaster/dark night (the Temple of Mythal). They do that so you will feel that those things are significant.

Veilguard does the same thing. Every companion has a facet of the lore attached to it, but you cannot follow those threads to their conclusions at the beginning of the game. The game won't let you, because the moments need to be spaced out properly and carry the necessary emotional weight. Not all of their quests promise speculative material for future games in the same way, because some explain the context of the current game (Varric, in DAI, accomplished both with the red lyrium content, for instance; Leliana, meanwhile, dealt with the theme of faith in DAI and did not promise future speculation).

These concepts will all get far more attention in due time, but in short, here's what I think is associated with each companion:

Harding: Titans! But also, angry titans, and the difference between "angry titan" and "source of blight." In the same vein, what the dwarves should do going forward, and where they should place the titans in their culture.

Neve: The soul of Veilguard; her narrative is very current to DA:tV, in my early understanding. But she brings forth a lot of nuance to the themes of regret, and what that regret looks like on a smaller scale (a city, rather than a world). She does a lot of work in showing us that regret is regret, no matter the scale, and that the work we do to do better matters, no matter the scale. Additionally, her personal quest foreshadows Solas' use of blood magic against us being more than we thought by showing off Aelia's puppets, suggesting to us (tonally) that Rook may be Solas' puppet.

Bellara: The Forgotten Ones!! Anaris! Also, the place of ancient elvhenan in the future of Thedas, and what the elves should do/feel going forward.

Lucanis: I think they were going for some Forgotten One/Forbidden One hints, judging by some notes from the Ossuary and some banter between Lucanis and the others. This needs more dissection. Lucanis sort of does both what Bellara and Neve do: the Forgotten Ones, and also the heart of Veilguard's theme, with a lot of found family vibes thrown in.

Davrin: The blight itself, and the future of the blight without any archdemons left to cause capital-B Blights. Thedas' path to healing its nature.

Emmrich: The nature of what spirits are. I need to go screencap more specifics, but I swear this necromancer has referenced the difference between spirit and human soul and has stumbled upon saying that the two might not be so different at least once. Also, the Formless One centers around the Necropolis, and I'm thinking "spirits seeking bodies" and this whole idea of unlife/undeath is going to be explored later.

Taash: Remember how I said BioWare needed an ethos update? I think we see that most predominantly in Taash, whose entire personal quest is an examination of the values and priorities of different cultures, as well as the place of gender and gender ideology in Thedas. We saw this with Dorian and Krem in DA:I, but Taash modernizes that conversation (10 years has changed a lot!) and brings it front-and-center. At the same time, their existence is referencing (potentially) the Scaled Ones, and showing us that the kossith (Qunari) might have far more ties to Evanuris shenaniganry than we thought—and that those shenanigans did not happen on Thedas, but potentially far across the sea. (Neve and Lucanis accomplish this, also, with the Shadow Dragons and Crows, but not to the degree that Taash does).

This is why the companion quests MATTER, and (at least partially) why the game asks you to complete these quests or suffer consequences in the finale.

You know what else happens, upon completion of these companion quests?

You get codices. In Dragon Age, they are the threads that tie the seemingly disconnected pieces of the plot together, and that's on purpose. This time, they automatically unlock upon completing different stages of companion quests—and as far as I can tell right now, days after completing the game for the first time, the ones revealed later DO contain spicier hints about future lore than those revealed earlier.

And between ALL of these things—the demands Veilguard's timing placed on Bioware, the need for Rook as a protagonist, and the structure for every companion's quests—I think BioWare did an amazing, genius job with their narrative. Yes, I have seen some of the art book content, and yes, it would have been so cool to have those things, but... I truly do not think BioWare needed them, as close as I would have held cameos like Cole to my heart.

From a lore perspective? They knocked it out of the gods-damned park with Veilguard. They did an amazing job with each of their quests, and I promise: there is no shortage of juicy lore to be found in Veilguard. Now that I've inflicted an outline of what I know about stories upon you, I promise: all of this serves as context for everything I look forward to saying in future posts.

_____

If you got this far, thank you, as always!

This series is going to take a turn toward what I noticed in Veilguard, how I feel that Veilguard adds to my theories (or perhaps debunks some of them), and where I think the series is going to go from here. But in order to write all that properly and miss as little as possible (even though, in November 2024, with no wiki or transcripts, I am guaranteed to miss things), I need to keep playing the game and keep reading the codices I find.

Stay tuned for the next instalments, though I cannot say how quickly they will come after this. <3

[bisnes-socks]

i've read people's thoughts on the album as a whole and i've analysed most of the songs myself by now, so here's my thoughts on the whole people's champion album.

1. in ready to go, well he is just that, ready to go and try, even if he fails. he's not afraid and going forward and doing his thing is what he intends to do and what he loves to do. he has agency over his career and image, autonomy over himself.

my longer and more in depth song analysis posts are linked here in the text.

i personally don't think the album has a single narrative through it. the songs are thematically connected, but it's not one chronological and cohesive story to me. i've seen people speaking a lot on the theme of agency. i'd agree, that agency and autonomy are the major themes of the album, but i would specify that in my opinion, it's about finding and claiming agency. i think he has agency in almost every single song, but it's about him realising that he does have it, even when it feels like he doesn't, and him finding it and holding on to it.

2. in cha cha cha, he's talking about different sides of himself. in this song the two aren't necessarily living in perfect harmony, because one man needs piña coladas to coax him out, but both are.. intentional. and ultimately it's about finding the bravery to be who you are, which he is always advocating for and has really succeeded in, it seems.

3. in takavoltti, yes he is being sort of incited into crazy shit, but he absolutely recognises himself as a person who just.. gets into crazy shit easily. this side of him is also very present in mic mac. he's not bullied or abused into insane stunts and things, he recognises his own agency and both mental and physical autonomy in all of it by comparing himself to the dudesons etc. i think the song recognises the toxicity of the situation, but he's in control of it - as much as you are in control of your own personality and impulses.

4. ruoska is getting into the territory of maybe lacking some agency - life treats him harshly sometimes, and maybe he feels a bit powerless in front of all that. but then! he claims agency, by essentially going well yeah this hurts but hehe i'm into pain bitch. he literally says "baby hei mä oon valmis, anna tulla" meaning i'm ready, give it to me.

5. in kot kot i feel like he is at his most helpless. he's trying to control his situation by running away from things, trying to dance his worries away, but it's all crumbling down. in this one his agency in the situation is pretend.

7. in sex = money he is taking back like aaaalll of his agency and autonomy. his image, his work, his power, his role, his personality, his sexuality. autonomous agency anthem! he doesn't give a fuck! let's make sex moneyyy. BUT at the same time the song recognises the risks concerning agency and autonomy in the world of music, where selling sex is so prevalent. i think he is choosing to hold on to his.

6. in skit + autiomaa, he has lost agency and control over his life yes, but he is learning to find it again. he is listing things that he has done, to help himself feel better and to improve. it might not help (immediately anyway) but he's doing it. and he has thought about it, he has sought for help, he has sought for solutions, he has taken the steps. he is actively trying to help himself. i think that makes the song all the more emotional and sad, but it is not without hope, it's not without his own personal action for himself, and not without progress.

8. bananas is more about togetherness and collectivity i think. but i think it's also a song where he is truly enjoying himself. feeling himself, you know? if kot kot is a pretty sad song about partying, this one is pretty sexy. he's feeling like the hottest boy at the club, you know? truly into himself and into his crew and everything they get up to.

9. huhhahhei is about new connections. making the choice to be open and even vulnerable with new people. setting your own boundaries and giving yourself the permission to enjoy new people. self-confidence! 

10. in icip, he's not so much in control of things that happen to him, but he doesn't seem to be toooo bothered about it. which i find quite fitting. he sees things for what they are but he doesn't seem insecure or scared about any of it.

11. people's champion is a recap of him finding himself in a whole new situation and finding his footing in all of it - and recognising the help he has had along the way, while also being proud of everything he himself has achieved.

so overall, i think thematically this album is quite heavy, maybe dark even, but to me, it's not a sad album specifically. he comes across as someone incredibly tenacious. he's able to stay very strong, and he is able to recognise when things aren't going great. i think ultimately, the album is him going through life changing events, both good things and bad things, and coming out on the other side stronger and wiser than ever. it's an album of many emotions, but at the end of the day, he persists. and naming it people's champion, the single tear on the cover.. he's facing it all, taking it all head on, claiming his pride and moving forward. he's strong.

it's a powerful album.

[queer-ragnelle]

All three! Apologies. I want to learn as much as I can about him.

You got it!

The first text that Galahad appears in is the Vulgate. His predecessors and legacy are first described in The History of the Grail; then he’s conceived, born, and raised during the Lancelot books; finally in Post-Vulgate he’s a knight on Grail Quest where he achieves his life’s purpose and passes away. Additionally, here’s A Companion to The Lancelot-Grail Cycle which may help you navigate the text.

Another book I suggest for your Galahad research is The Legend of the Grail by Nigel Bryant and Norris J. Lacy. It’s got a lengthy introduction about the history of the Grail story and touches on all the characters who’ve achieved it throughout Arthurian literary history including Perceval, Gawain, and of course, Galahad. Each chapter is taken from a different text and newly translated by Nigel Bryant for this publication. It’ll give you an idea of the progression of the Grail story which eventually led to Galahad and introduce you to some adjacent texts that may be of interest.

The next medieval text that includes Galahad is La Tavola Ritonda. It’s mostly a Prose Tristan story, but does cover the whole Grail Quest with a fun Italian Galahad named Galeazzo/Galasso. I enjoy this one a lot! Regarding Galasso specifically, it’s an interesting take on the character—he’s described as very gracious and he wields a cool named sword. Plus his purity grants him necromancy powers—at one point he convenes with the dead and doesn’t bat an eye. Just keeps on adventuring. Focused. In his lane. Pretty neat!

After that comes probably the best known Arthurian text, Le Morte d’Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory. I’ve attached the version of this story abridged by Keith Baines. It’s much easier to read with proper formatting to add quotation marks to dialogue and tighten up the prose. This one also comes with A Companion to Malory which I found exceedingly helpful in breaking down the sometimes convoluted plot threads and character dynamics present in Malory’s story. Many of the essays I’ve attached below relate to this text specifically.

Lastly I would be remiss to exclude The Arthurian Handbook by the goats Norris J. Lacy and Geoffrey Ashe. This volume not only covers medieval texts, but much of the art history that goes hand in hand with Arthurian literature too. There are many paintings, tapestries, stained glass windows, and murals featuring Galahad highlighted in this book. It also includes family trees, heraldry, and maps which can help you conceptualize things detailed in writing throughout the Vulgate.

Now I’m going to list essays without descriptions since there are so many and the titles are pretty self explanatory.

Absent Fathers, Unexpected Sons: Paternity in Malory’s Morte Darthur by Cory Rushton

Born-Again Virgins and Holy Bastards: Bors and Elyne and Lancelot and Galahad by Karen Cherwatuk

Constructing Spiritual Hierarchy through Mass Attendance in the Morte Darthur by David Eugene Clark

Disarming Lancelot by Elizabeth Scala

Galahad, Percival, and Bors: Grail Knights and the Quest for Spiritual Friendship by Richard Sévère

'A Mayde, and Last of Youre Blood': Galahad's Asexuality and its Significance in Le Morte Darthur by Megan Arkenberg

Gender and the Grail by Maureen Fries

Malory and Rape by Catherine Batt

Mothers in the Grail Quest: Desire, Pleasure, and Conception by Peggy McCracken

Seeing Is Believing and Achieving: Viewing the Eucharist in Malory's 'Sankgreal' by Sarah B. Rude

Wounded Masculinity: Injury and Gender in Sir Thomas Malory's "Le Morte Darthur" by Kenneth Hodges

And that about covers it! This should give you plenty to work with. Beyond these, we’re left with literature outside the medieval era, which is a different conversation. No doubt Alfred Lord Tennyson had a huge influence on how Galahad is perceived today, but that’s irrelevant to a discussion regarding medieval source material, and a topic for another time. Hope this helps you out and you learn all you want to about Galahad!

Take care!

[st4r-sh0t]

Posting my opinion bc i'm never wrong and don't argue: mouthwashing!!!

I fucking love this game and it has been all over my fyp recently and i wanna talk about it bc 𝔂𝓮𝓼. for those that don't know mouthwashing is a game that u should go check out cuz its rly good. This post is gonna be kinda long bc i have a lot to say but yeah!!😋😋🤞

Stating off with 𝓳𝓸𝓶𝓫𝓪𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓪 i think a lot of people fail to realize that he is the most unreliable narrator ever. He isn't only unreliable when it comes to Anya, he is unreliable when it comes to everyone. He views the entire crew under a convoluted lens. This is because he is projecting! So mf hard!!! Notice how it is only after the crash that these "bad attributes" of every character is brought out.

In reality, 𝓳𝓪𝓶𝓮'𝓼 worse attributes have been shown because of the crash and as he spirals further and further he projects these attributes of himself onto the crew more and more. In this post i personally want to talk about curly because i don't rly see it a whole lot.

When it comes to curly specifically, the crash has turned curly paraplegic and highly dependent on other people. I've seen a lot of people say that this changed the way 𝓳𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸 views curly but what everyone is missing is that he always thought this way about curly. he always saw curly has someone below him. the only difference is before curly was under him morally, now he is under him physically because he is disabled. He sees what has happened to curly as karma for his way of thinking.

This is common amongst narcissists because the idea of naturally occurring karma absolves them of any fault which lets 𝓳𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓪𝓷 believe that what happened on the tulpar was not his fault. Despite directly causing the crash, jumbo sees it as a necessary evil that had to be done to avoid the consequences of his actions (AKA, taking responsibility for anya). Because he views what happened to curly as justice/karma, having to take care of him becomes a chore and curlys very personhood is taken away from him. He is now a thing. A responsibility that he has to take because of what he has done and he is not happy about it.

Another thing I've seen is people saying that they don't feel bad about what happened to curly and that he deserved it for not defending Anya and while yes i do absolutely hate curly, nobody deserves the abuse that their abuser inflicts on them. "What happened to curly was horrifying" and "curly (in)directly caused everything on the tulpar" are ideas that should coexist. Also thats not the thing you should get from this game. It's not a story of karma, it's a cautionary tale about what happens when we let abuse(of anything; power, people, privilege) go unchecked.

TLDR; 𝓳𝓾𝓶𝓹 𝓽𝓮𝓼𝓽 is an unreliable narrator and people fail to apply that to every character in the game, not just Anya. when it comes to curly, he views him as conceded and sees what happened to him as karma.

Now although I do not argue and my opinion is always correct, I would love to hear your thoughts! Especially because this game is so subjective I would love to hear your opinions and even hot takes on this topic! Stay safe divas😘💅💅

[lau219]

How Robert, Jackson, Jonathan and Tommy will react if they caught reader reading some erotic stories? Or masturbating?

So, I did an either/or for this one because otherwise the answers would have gone on forever! But it’s still super long! Sorry! 🤣💗🤭

Robert: When he’s looking for a spare phone charger to take with him on a short business trip, he comes across the erotic book you have hidden in your nightstand.

He’s not quite sure how to react, as he thought your guys’ sex life was pretty damn good. He quickly goes online and orders a duplicate copy, reading it on the sly while he’s away, putting the cover sleeve of a different book over it. He’s surprised to see that much of the content is things that he’s secretly wanted to try with you, but has been too nervous/embarrassed to suggest. When he gets home, he can’t help but admit to having found it, and you’re equally embarrassed to admit that you don’t have it because your sex life with him isn’t satisfying, but because it’s about additional stuff that’s secretly always appealed to you but you have been too shy to suggest to Robert. Once you two are finally honest with each other, an entirely new avenue has been opened for the two of you, and let’s just say things are about to get a lot spicier.

Jackson: Pissed as hell that you’re touching yourself instead of waiting for him to work on you, as he expects to be in control of when and how you come. He doesn’t care when you explain that you are only thinking of him but were desperate, since he’s been pretty absent and distracted lately. He proceeds to fuck you as a punishment, hard and rough in all different positions and repeatedly making you come until you feel like you can’t take it anymore and are begging him to stop. When your entire body is jelly and he finally stops, he lectures you with a harsh slap to your ass, warning you that next time you get the urge to touch yourself, you better remember who’s in charge of if and when you receive pleasure.

Jonathan: When he finds out that you’ve been reading erotica without telling him, he’s very disappointed. He sees that the content of what you’re reading is stuff that the two of you have never tried, and he immediately gathers that you must secretly want to explore it. Again, he’s disappointed and frustrated because he thought you knew that you could talk to him about anything. When you’re in bed one night, he calmly confronts you and asks you why you haven’t spoken up, and he gets the (somewhat sick) pleasure of seeing you embarrassed and bashfully admitting that you’ve wanted to, but have been too timid to broach it with him. Enjoying your adorable bashfulness, he pulls you onto his lap and makes you describe to him in fine detail exactly what you’ve secretly been wanting him to do to you, forcing you to keep eye contact the whole time. When you’re completely flushed with embarrassment and finally done telling him everything, you can feel his erection pressing into you as he slowly and calmly begins undressing you, making you melt.

“That wasn’t so difficult, was it?” he affectionately teases you in that tone of his. Then he lays you down on the bed and hovers over you. “Now, where should we start?”

Tommy: He catches you masturbating on your shared bed when he returns home earlier than expected from a business trip. He’s insanely turned on, as he catches you moaning his name before he allows you to realize he’s there. Once he makes himself known, you’re highly embarrassed and attempt to cover yourself, nervously explaining that you missed him too much and couldn’t wait for him any longer. Maintaining a stern demeanor, he walks over to the armchair in your bedroom and sits down, then orders you to keep going as he watches you. You’re mortified, and you try to get out of it, but Tommy is sternly insistent.

“I want to see exactly what you do to yourself when you’re missing me,” he says in that deep voice, and he continues to watch you from the chair, his erection intensifying by the second as he watches you touch yourself. But you’re so embarrassed that you can’t get very far, and eventually, in response to seeing your embarrassment and desperation, Tommy finally rises from the chair and walks over to you, beginning to undress.

“What’s wrong, love?” he affectionately mocks you with a raise of his brow as he pulls off his clothes. “Your hands not as good as my cock?”

You shake your head, telling him that, no, it’s never as good as actually having him, but when he’s away, you sometimes get too needy.

“Well, it’s a good thing I came home early, then,” he says as he gets on the bed and pulls you to him by your ankles, then lines himself up at your entrance before slamming his cock inside you. “After all,” he finishes as you arch at the feel of his cock, “I can’t deprive my girl of what she needs.”

[irisbleufic]

Hi iris, I love your iwtv fics and thanks for still telling us stories every day even though everything went to hell this week. I’m here to pitch you smth that you totally don’t have to do but which I’m desperate to see- namely the Harvey Milk interview that Daniel has scheduled at the time your just-finished 1973 story ends! It wouldn’t have to be the whole interview, even just a scene where they’re wrapping it p. They only interact on the phone in your story, but I so, so want to see them f2f!

Anon, thanks so much for letting me know you’re enjoying the stories. I rarely stop writing just because the day-to-day gets rough, as those are the times I need storytelling most, and I’m sure lots of you do, too. It’s not to say taking breaks isn’t important, but getting myself to do that is difficult. I prefer to stay busy.

As for what you’re asking here: oh, I knew this was going to come up. I’ve been nagging myself about it, too, because the phone interactions alone left me regretting that I ended it without a face-to-face. When is a cameo no longer a cameo? I so rarely push historical figure appearances in to major-character territory, and I feel like I’m borderlining it with this one. He’s…okay, fuck, he’s worth it, though, who am I kidding.

So, okay, you’ve convinced me I can probably add one more chapter to “Trade the Game You Know for Shelter” and still have it feel like the chapter I currently have sitting as the ending chapter was meant to be a penultimate one. Plus, plus—if I add one more chapter at 3,000 words, that means I can kick it up to 40,000 even, and my gremlin brain is going to be happy about that word count. Hey, anon, you can walk away from this negotiation feeling proud of yourself.

(Downside: Caldera boys get blocked another day or two, and I get sarcastic commentary at the back of my head. Hey, guys, how about telling your younger selves to stop being so fascinating? That’s how we got into this mess.)

[nikoniclove]

Whole List of "Ace in the Hole" Prompts Pt 1

For anyone who is interested in reading the WHOLE MASSIVE list of prompts people have sent in via private messages, AO3, or tumblr, here it is broken into numerous posts because it's so long.

Multi-Chapter Fics

story idea: every chapter is a different date that the girls go on wether that’s as a pair or a three and it’s from the start of there relationship to where ever it goes (Tumblr yasmineillustration)

a cheating scare with ace. where hotch/someone else needs ace to help out with a top secret case/something private, and ace doesn't tell emily and JJ because it isn't her secret to share (whatever it is can be up to you). it ends up taking most of her time and ends up being talked about a lot in dms and stuff, so she puts up a password, and sneaks out at night to talk about it, and comes home late/in the early hours of the morning. and emily and JJ just start overthinking it and yell at ace (who is obviously denying cheating because she isn't) and it blows into a proper argument and ace walks out/they take like a temporary break, and it feeds into their work lives. and because emily and JJ are so convinced that ace was cheating, they make little rude comments/shut her out completely. then they find out and it ends with a little fluff with lots and lots and lots of groveling and making it up to ace (Tumblr anon)

random idea for a future fic possibly that just came to mind: based on the grey's anatomy episode arc of the ferry crash (3x16-17) and meredith in the water. would love to see a similar take to ace in meredith's position. some sort of catastrophic bau case and everyone is busy and tending to their assigned areas. (in the episode meredith is accidentally kicked into water trying to help someone, gets caught and later admits she stopped fighting to get free) JJ notices Ace isn't around when they round up to leave and they frantically look around. When they see something of hers near a body of water Emily takes off without a second thought. Then it's very touch and go in the hospital as they need to get her body temp up. Maybe a sweet moment of JJ and Emily laying with her on the hospital bed to give her their body warmth. I saw another comment presenting an idea of memory loss so maybe to build on that, when Ace eventually wakes up- she mentally is back when she first joined the team. She remembers Emily and JJ but only as coworkers pre sleeping together. Only lasting a few hours to a few days but when she starts to regain memories the first thing can be calling Emily "Emmy" and seeking JJ's touch in a hug. This of course seems like a hugeee story so if it speaks to you in anyway, please just take the little bits desired. (Ssskeptical)

Existing Story Updates

Let Loose: drunken sex ch 2

When Desperation Strikes: Emily reacts to Ch 1 and how she gets back at JJ and Ace for that (EmilyJenniferJareauPrentiss)

Kisses prompt list

Kisses: From 3 perspectives. Emily, JJ and Ace being from time to time insecure about their scars and every time that happens one or two of them are there to comfort the third of them. Like kissing the scars and the insecurities away. (Tumblr lenolia03)

Kisses: You know when you’re squeezing someone trying to give them smooshy cheek kisses and they’re all squirmy and embarrassed and laughing so hard? Yeah, can we have some of those kisses - maybe with Henry? (Nerdy_mama)

Aftercare Requirements Epilogue: whether JJ and Ace, together, could (after a scene) give dom Emily the kind of aftercare that she gives them - the aftercare that she never received? (SSAScorpSik)

first time Emily acquiesced and let JJ dom her (SSAScorpSik)

A Need for Punishment:  would love to see Ace talk to Emily and JJ about her having wanted to ask for a belt (thatonesritersstuff)

I’d love to see Emily and Ace get into an argument and instead of autopiloting to Em, JJ takes Ace’s side and it plays out that way. Especially since every time Ace is upset with one of them it becomes both of them, it’d be interesting to see the dynamic change (slowburnsapphic)

Emily is groveling to make up for the botched date (Ao3 Guest)

Could you maybe add on about scars? I remember in one of the stories (I believe it was in when past meets the present) JJ doesn’t like her scars being focused on, can you maybe write more about that? Either it being an insecurity or bringing up bad memories and her not wanting to talk about it but either just Ace or Ace and Emily push and wants to focus on it so JJ can heal in some way (Sam0214)

One Shots

JJ fighting hand to hand and being injured like s7 e15 end scene

Subdrop for JJ (Gay_4_women)

JJ subdrop, maybe she Em type them both but then Ace gets the focus of the aftercare (kind of like the reverse scenario of the ” Competing Sub Drops” chapter in difference kinds of firsts pt 1). and because JJ rarely even finds a subspace, let alone a drop, the angstier the better. Maybe it’s the first time she’s ever dropped at all. (Agentquakingskye)

Play on the therapy case where the unsub kills patients in exposure therapy based on patient’s worst fears

Ace’s darkness has been heavier than usual; one morning when she’s feeling good, she goes for a morning run and leaves a love note for emily and jj, but them being protective girlfriends means they jump to the worst case scenario. They freak out because ace accidentally forgot her phone in the apartment and is gone for like 2 hours (Tumblr anon)

Jealous/ posessive Ace. Maybe Emily has a man from her past that they have to work alongside of during a case and it brings something out in Ace/JJ that leads Ace comfortable enough to top Emily out of possessive jealousy (Tumblr anon)

Sergio is crossed the rainbow bridge or is at least getting up there in age and the older pair see how much the goats help so they go to a rescue to adopt a cat/dog for Ace that becomes basically an anxiety service animal without the label to help ground her if the two ever have to be on another long case without Ace. (Ravenslumber)

old friend or acquaintance comes back in Ace’s life and Emily and JJ immediately clock that person has feelings for Ace. Ace gets upset with their jealousy, they fight, but it turns out Emily and JJ were right (Tumblr Anon)

maybe a jealous JJ/Emily interfere with Ace and a friend, they argue about if JJ and Emily trust Ace, which sends Ace on a spiral on if she thinks it possible for their relationship to work. Maybe set a little earlier on in their relationship when Ace isn’t feeling as solid in the trio. (Tumblr anon)

‘Guess’ with billie eilish and charlii xcx as a little chapter inspiration (Tumblr fallingsleepingdreaming)

7x23 for the first time and was wondering if we could maybe get a rewrite of it but instead of will being the one in danger its ace and jj and emily are just needing to be held back and everything (Tumblr anon)

Times which Ace has surprised Emily & JJ in non-sexual contexts? (Tumblr anon)

[slutpinks]

My sweet teasing girlfriend

Lalisa Manoban (Lisa)

word count : 1257

story in 1st person pov and 3rd person pov./

Chitransh is loving boyfriend of Lisa , their relationship is very sweet, happily and cute. After 2 weeks of not seeing each other, Chitransh surprised Lisa to her company building. Lisa Lisa decides to show him what she's working on right now, after that her last single 'Moonlit Floor' has been released. She brings him to her recording studio, to give him a secret look of her new upcoming song, album and future work.

Lisa,

after spending the whole day doing interviews around LA, she's finally back to her company building, LLOUD. When she opens the door and walks in, her gaze instantly focus on chitransh, in the middle of the hall with a bouquet of roses in his right hand. With a gasp of surprise, she beams at his presence and quickly run towards him, hugging him tightly.

"I missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Chitranshhh"

chitransh wrap his arms around her petite and wonderful body, smiling happily at her closeness. he keep her tightly in his hug for a few moments , then he pull back a little to admire her incredibly pretty face. Smiling, he give her the flowers, then he lovely caress her hair.

"I missed you too, Lili!"

Lisa

with eyes full of love and happiness, she takes the bouquet and brings them to her nose, smelling the perfume of the roses she smiles brightly.

"Babes I missed you so much"

He said hugging lisa super tightly making her out of breathe, Lisa giggles softly as Chitransh hugs her tightly, his embrace making her feel warm and safe. She leans into him, savoring his familier scent and the comfort of his arms around her. After a few moments, she pulls back slightly to look up at him, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

“ I missed you too, my love. So, so much.”

She reaches up to caress his cheek, her touch gentle and affectionate.

“Being apart from you these past two weeks has felt like an eternity. But now that you’re here, I feel complete again.

Leaning in, she presses a soft, lingering kiss to his lips, pouring all of her love and longing into the embrace. When she finally pulls away, her cheeks are flushed and her breathing slightly uneven.

“Come, I have something I want to show you.”

Taking his hand, she leads him towards the recording studio, eager to share her latest musical creations with the man she adores.

Lisa’s eyes sparkle with mischief as she leads Chitransh towards the recording studio. Once they’re inside, she turns to face him, a coy smile plying on her lips.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about you a lot these past two weeks…..”

She steps closer, running her hands up his chest.

“I’ve missed your touch, your kiss, your….”

Her voice drops to a sultry whisper.

“……everything.”

Pressing her body against his, she trails feather-light kisses along his jawline, her hands deftly unbuttoning his shirt. Pulling back slightly, she gazes up at him through thick lashes, biting her lower lip in a gesture that’s both innocent and incredibly alluring.

“ I have a new song I want to play for you. But first…”

Her hands slide down to the waistband of his pants, fingers teasing the sensitive skin there.

“ I think we should….. celebrate our reunion, don’t you???”

Chitransh gently takes Lisa’s hands in his, stopping her movements.

“As much as I want to, we should probably save that for later. I don’t want us to get too carried away here at your workplace.”

He gives her a playful wink.

“Why don’t you show me that new song you’ve been working on? I’m dying to hear it.”

Lisa pouts playfully, but nods in agreement.

“Alright, you win this time.”

Stepping back, she turns and leads him further into the recording studio. She gestures proudly to the state-of-the-art equipment surrounding them.

“Welcome to my musical sanctuary. This is where the magic happens.”

Sitting down at the console, she cues up the track and glances back at Chitransh, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Prepare to be blown away, my love.”

As the opening notes of the song fill the room, Lisa’s hips begin swaying to the rhythm. She closes her eyes, losing herself in the music. Slowly, her hands trail down ger body, caressing her curves of her figure. With each passing moment, her movements become more sensual, more captivating.

Chitransh watches, transfixed, as Lisa transforms into a living embodiment of the song. Her voice, rich and emotive, carries him away to a world of passion and desire. He can’t tear his eyes away from her, mesmerized by the sheer power of her performance.

When the final notes fade, Lisa opens her eyes, her gaze locking with Chitransh’s. A coy smile plays on her lips as she saunters towards him, hips swaying with each step.

“So, what did you think???”

“Absolutely amazing babes the way your ass swayed was just amazing I mean I mean the way you swayed was amazing.”

Lisa’s eyes sparkle with mischief as she sways her hips sensually, her movements in perfect sync with the pulsing beat of the music. She can feel Chitransh’s gaze burning into her, his desire palpable in the air.

Slowly deliberately, she turns around, presenting him with a tantalizing view of her curves. Glancing over her shoulder, she bites her lower lip, silently inviting him to come closer. With a coy smile, she reaches back, her fingers tracing the outline of her shapely backside. “You like what you see, don’t you, baby??”

She purrs, her voice dripping with seduction.

“I’ve been thinking about you, about your touch, your kiss….”

She turns to face him again, her hands sliding up her sides, caressing the soft skin beneath her top.

“I want you, Chitransh. Right here, right now.”s

“We can't baby but I promise let's finish our work quickly and in the night I'll let you have me completely”

Lisa's eyes sparkle with disappointment at Chitransh's response, but she quickly recovers, nodding in understanding.

“Okay, my love. Let's get this work done first, then we can have all the fun we want tonight.”

She winks playfully, her fingers trailing down his chest in a teasing caress. Turning back to the recording console, Lisa cues up the track again, swaying her hips sensually as the music fills the room.

Her voice, rich and emotive, carries Chitransh away to a world of passion and desire. She sings with an intensity that leaves him captivated, his gaze locked on her every movement. When the final notes fade, Lisa spins around, a triumphant grin on her face.

“So, what did you think? Worth the wait, hmm?”

She steps closer, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders as she gazes up at him, her expression a tantalizing mix of innocence and pure, unadulterated lust.

Lisa's eyes sparkle with unbridled desire as she steps closer, her hands trailing down Chitransh's chest. She leans in, her lips brushing against his ear in a featherlight caress.

“I can't wait any longer, my love...”

she whispers, her voice dripping with sultry need.

“I want you to take me, right here, right now. Make me yours, Chitransh...”

Her hands slide lower, caressing the growing bulge in his pants as she grinds her hips against him.

Pulling back slightly, she gazes up at him through hooded eyes, her lips parted in a silent plea.

“Please... I need you so badly. I ache for your touch, your kiss, your...” She pauses, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. ...everything.”

to be continued....

[evenmorecrows]

hi excuse me i got carried away. these were originally tags but uhhhh it got. long. so into the reblog proper it goes. i ended up just fully describing my modern au.

for the record this is all off the top of my head so its not all entirely fleshed out

origins protags:

hiram amell would be in college to be like. a neurosurgeon and play warhammer with whatever time he can scrounge up. meets loghain there and they beef especially because hiram keeps finding stupid ridiculous ways to beat him when loghain is like. the most decorated player in their community. that guy is a warhammer 40k legend.

i feel like he doesnt have the time or energy to really get fast food enough to have a favorite, ironically. he lives off of tv dinners and the cheapest + strongest coffee he can find.

ive also been turning around the idea of modern hiram having been a foster child to duncan (this doesnt really come up here but i do imagine duncan being a military veteran) in his later teens which is what gives him the financial ability to actually pursue college. meets alistair that way who was also taken in as a foster and then officially adopted a year before hiram entered the picture. i dont know if i want duncan to die early on i want these boys to have a dad.....

anyway alistair and hiram are probably roommates while hirams in college? idk if alistair would be in college too. maybe try it bc of the expectation but end up having to drop out? hm.

gunnr brosca is younger daughter to her norwegian immigrant mother who came to america for a man only to be left when she became pregnant with rica. this began their mothers downward spiral into both poverty and alcohol and soon enough there was no chance of her getting home. so both rica and gunnr were born in america.

gunnr works under the table to not bring attention to their family. not always taking legal jobs. really just whatever she could get to keep them afloat despite the hole in their saving from their mothers drinking habits. gunnr feels a lot of disdain towards their mother for the situations she's put them in (put rica in especially) and the life they live

rica does sex work and hopes to marry rich so she can lift them out of poverty. gunnr hates that she has to. hates the men that leer at her sister. pretty 1-to-1 translation of ingame brosca origin.

a job gunnr takes goes wrong and lands her in hot water and her best bet is to take the money she has to her own name and get the hell out of dodge. she doesnt want to leave rica alone but rica encourages her to go.

and so she goes on over to britain. she takes less risky but still under the table jobs from there out because im deciding she somehow got in through criminal means and definitely does not have the papers or documentation to be there. god knows what their mother did with their birth certificates or social security numbers but i think neither gunnr or rica has ever seen hide nor hair of either document so like yknow. gunnr barely exists.

also im calling it that duncan is just not important to gunnr's whole story or existence. if hes there its only by proxy of alistair.

hey speaking of alistair. idk how they meet. something casual like outside a bar or through a friend of a friend of a friend when something like. breaks in the apartment he has w hiram and the landlord wont fix this and one of alistairs friends is like. i know a guy who knows a guy who knows this woman. ill put you in contact. and alistairs like. Ohhhkay. kinda shady but. alright.

she comes over to fix it. he gets himself a little crush almost immediately. shes neutral about him at first but when he kinda stumbles over himself to exchange numbers she teases him like. oh in case this breaks again huh? but is kinda begrudgingly endeared and goes along w it.

strangely enough in this modern au i think hiram and gunnr's influences on alistairs college career (equivalent to the king choice) are swapped from what theyd normally be. hiram would be resistant to alistair quitting college and kinda hammer in duncan's expectations (which i mean i keep mentioning but hes Not gonna like. disown them or something. like hed be disappointed, to varying degrees, but this is something that hangs over hiram like a specter. like it would impact things but hiram kind of makes mountains out of molehills over it. probably because he's felt severely unwanted his entire life and feels that any mistake is The End.) and put the weight on his own shoulders onto alistair in that moment.

(to expand more on that ^ i think hiram holds alistair to the same standards that he feels he himself has to conform to. and it scares him to see alistair consider Not going through the hell of college because it solidifies that as an Option. it give hiram an out, one with consequences, And it leaves him alone in his burden. they patch it up later down the road but needless to say things get Very Turbulent.)

meanwhile gunnr would be like hey listen. you dont need college to make something of yourself. if it sucks hit da bricks. and i think that ultimately wins out and him and hiram have a big falling out because of it and alistair goes to stay with gunnr in her shitty little apartment (? if it could be called that. debatable.)

im not rushing their romance here at this point bc the end of the world isnt upon them so. they have time to just be friends for a while while alistair's squishy feelings grow and gunnr finds herself more and more endeared to him. its absurd to her and she doesnt know What to do with that so she just. acts normal

messes with him a bit more maybe. yknow to do Something. maybe he starts working with her on some jobs. hes not thrilled about that part but work is work. and its not Bad stuff so. i just think hes a bit of a goody-two-shoes and doing things in a Not Super Allowed way makes him squirmy.

also i need zevran to be in here SOMEWHERE for hiram but i honest to god dont know. how. i have to think on it auuugh. they probably meet sometime during him and alistair's falling out. hiram needs someone there for him besides that old man he antagonizes at warhammer and duncan

ok so hiram and morrigan. i have actually thought about this previously and i have notes but i dont want to look at them right now. we're freeballing.

morrigan is a friend he made at a small school he went to with one of his previous foster families (he was shuffled through a lot of homes). she has an abusive mother and hiram becomes really her only friend. everyone else avoids her and if you listened to her shed say 'good' and that she liked it that way but ultimately she is Not immune to being lonely. and she finds genuine companionship in hiram.

soon enough hiram is shuffled out again but he goes through hell and highwater to make sure the two of them stay in touch.

well eventually around the time hiram is preparing to start college morrigan calls him and talks about her mother's pressure for her to have a child and that she thinks she'd actually like to but far Far away from flemeth. she doesnt want her mother having any part in the life of this child. she also asks if hiram would be the one to father it and hes a ride or die kind of friend so he agrees.

they meet up. the event is kinda awkward considering he is gay and neither are attracted in any way sexually to each other but they put in effort and thats sweet in its own right. afterward she tells him that she has to cut contact and that she plans to skip country. she cant tell him where and he knows this. he doesnt ask. he tells her to be safe and good luck. they hug and then she leaves.

a lot of impulsivity on display here but theyre both like 18 so. yknow. also shes lucky this actually Does take. neither of them had enough sex ed to have had it occur to them that one night Might not be enough to conceive a child.

also hiram does not mention this night to anyone for a very long time. no one knows he has a son and most of the time he forgets until he wakes up in a cold sweat with misplaces guilt over being an absent father. anyway

my baby my beloved. renard hawke. he's a farmer who's family had to move to the city after too many years of negative profit and debt.

the farm had been on a decline for a long time, but a few years after the death of malcom hawke, it finally caught up to them.

hawke family tragedy speedrun: bethany dies a bit after they settle into the city in a car crash. im not really sure what happens to carver. he doesnt die. joining the military seems likely. im also not sure what happens to leandra. her being the victim of a serial killer seems a Little bit unlikely but it could still happen. she could also grieve herself to death, the stress finally getting her.

renard is actually the person ive thought about the modern version of the least! so im not settled on a lot for him or his friends.

he ends up with fenris of course. he forms a lot of connections really quickly in the city. hawke in every universe is just a guy ppl gravitate towards. i think him and gunnr would get to be really good friends actually, and through her he'd eventually meet the rest of the origins gang. well besides morrigan, as previously stated shes off and away, and people connected only to hiram would be slower to meet renard until things were better between hiram and alistair. no da2 companion is left out here i just dont have concrete ideas as of right now.

what i DO know. is that he eventually goes missing (here lies the abyss). he doesnt tell anyone that he's going, where he's going. he leaves a six word note for fenris, gets in his car in the dead of night, and drives. the last person on record to have ever seen him is Islanil Lavellan, at a diner in the early hours of the morning. renard and islanil did not know each other prior to that meeting, but varric knows islanil as he works with varric's publishing company.

fenris will not stop until he finds hawke. it doesnt matter how cold the case becomes or how many try to dissuade him, he Will find hawke.

ok thats where im stopping right now because i need to brainstorm the da2 stuff more and i havent actually played inquisition with islanil yet. and i have some ideas for faustus mercar (rook) but i havent finished veilguard yet.

ATTENTION ALL DRAGON AGE PPL!!!

Describe any of your DA OC's as if they were regular modern people.

Favorite songs, fast food they would like, favorite movies etc.

[nymph1e]

I'm starting a read through/semi-reread of bnha! A 2023 perspective on a piece of media I used to love, grew frustrated with, and am now willing to give a second shot. I'm gonna be looking at it from a couple perspectives:

Is it any good? Does it stay good? Is it worth reading now that is almost over? What works and what disappoints me? Are they the same as when I was younger?

Is bakudeku really all that? This isn't even a joke. I'm going to do a deep dive on their relationship. I used to really hate bakugo when I was a teen and one thing that drew me up was how I felt his character was mishandled considering how damn important he is to the show. From my understanding he really has always been the deutragonist of bnha, and now that I know that will I like the series more?

I was more a anime watcher when I was younger, so I've read some of the manga but not much. It's also been about 5 years since I've paid any attention to the series.

If you're my follower and you want to avoid this block "nymphie reads bnha".

[123pixieaod]

Inspired by this godly post which unlocked a part of my brain I didn't know existed, and solidly gave me complete and utterly brainrot until I wrote something

A thousand thanks to Lily for her wonderful help :))

"Does Kelly not mind you spending all your time with me?" Daniel asks, because she's Daniel and once she's thought something she can't keep her fucking mouth shut, even if she knows it's trouble.

Max looks up, pausing his set of weights, and blinks at her. Daniel feels her cheeks warm. One day, that mouth of yours will run you straight into trouble, young lady, her mum used to tell her, voice firm. Good girls know when to keep quiet. Daniel used to just laugh at the warning. Her laugh is loud and the opposite of quiet, but she used to know that everyone always loved her laugh.

"No," Max says after a beat and then continues lifting. Daniel hates the way her gaze tracks over him, lingering on the movement of his muscles, the ease with which he lifts the weight. Tawny hair brushed out of his eyes, cheeks dusted warm from the exertion. "Of course not."

"Why of course not?" Daniel asks. She wants to sew her mouth shut. This time, Max didn't look over as he answers.

"Kelly's very secure, she's not like other girls. And besides, she knows you."

It's strange. When Daniel was seven and Michelle eleven, they'd gone rock pool fishing. Michelle had been crouched over a shallow pool of water, her finger delicately brushing the tentacles of the anemone. Daniel had been scaling the rocks, wanting steeper, taller, more.

She'd found the shark first, nestled high at between the rocks, and for a beat she hadn't known what she was looking at. Just details, but nothing collective. Rotting smell. Shrivelled holes where eyes should be. Scales of silver lightning. Rubbery fish picked clean. The flash of bone, pearl white.

Then she realised what she was staring at, and screamed. Her father held her while her mother scolded her. I told you not to go climbing! It's too dangerous, Daniel. Why can't you just be good like your sister and stay by the shallow pools?

And then, later, ice cream. Her dad, beside her, explaining the horror away.

It's just nature, Dani. The waves wash them up, and they get stuck there. They can't get back to the sea, and then the sun dries them out.

They drown on air, Michelle helpfully pointed out, her feet kicking happily as she licked her 99. Daniel just just nodded, ice cream untouched. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the sunken holes, the rotting flesh.

She hasn't thought about that moment for years, but suddenly it washes back over her. She feels simultaneously both. The child, staring at the carcass, frozen in shock. The shark, burning up in the sun, chocking on air.

"What does that mean?" She asks, and somehow her voice is normal, is fine. She's fine. She's not a girl or a shark. She's stupid and a fool and a gawky, ugly idiot, but she's fine.

Max manages to shrug, even with the 50kg weights. "You know. Just that Kelly knows you. She knows what you're like. And she knows me too, of course."

Daniel swallows. She nods. She hates everything about herself.

"That's sexist," she forces herself to say lightly because if the silence stretches anymore, Max might notice and set his weights down and look at her, and Daniel can't bear that. She doesn't want his eyes on her, taking in every blemish and imperfection. The boyish, ratty clothes she works out in and her curls gone frizzy with sweat and her inked skin, so different to Max and Kelly's pale, perfect complexions.

"What's sexist?"

"Saying she's not like other girls," Daniel tells him, setting down the weights she been doing. Instead, she goes to grab the skipping rope, just for something to do.

Max laughs. Daniel's glad she's turned away. Her cheeks are burning again.

"It's the truth. You, of course, Daniel, are not like other girls either." He says it lightly and ends with a chuckle, as if it's all just a joke. Daniel drags a sweaty hand over her cheeks. Burning, burning, burning.

Apparently, in Max's mind, she and Kelly are the same; both not like other girls. Kelly, with her faultless makeup and wonderful daughter and classy dresses and perfect feminity. One end of the scale. Daniel, the other. Barely even considered "a girl." Always one of the boys, only woman in f1 for a reason.

"Thanks," Daniel says. She wants to make it sound humorous, like she's in on the joke too. Instead, it's too cold; muttered as if she actually gave two shits about the conversation anyway. She has an F1 season to prepare for, she's too busy to care about stupid shit like this.

There's a beat of silence as Daniel stretches out the rope, feeling the plastic flex and give. Then, Max exhaling, the gentle bump of his weights against the floor, the workout bench shifting as his centre of gravity changes. Daniel keeps her back to him, ignoring it all.

"I did not mean it as insult," Max finally says, stubborn. Daniel forces a laugh, turning to give him a smile, all teeth.

"Of course not Maxy. I get that." Voice light and blithe. One of the boys.

She thinks he'll drop it, but instead, his frown only grows. Pinched brows, thin lips, cheeks growing blotchy. Blue eyes regard her, intense and unyielding. She burns from the inside out.

"I've upset you," he says, in that blunt, genuine way only he can do. Daniel barks out another laugh.

"Don't be stupid. You're not important enough to ever be able to get under my skin." She gives him another smile with only teeth. She feels insane. Her mother tells her good girls stay quiet.

"I'm sorry," he tries again, growing frustrated now, "I did not mean -"

"I told you, you didn't upset me," she drops the skipping rope without actually using it. "Anyway, I'm bored. Wanna get lunch now? Or are you still trying to pump those muscle with more testosterone?"

Max gives her one last, searching look before standing. They're almost the same height. She wants to shrink to nothing.

"That is not how testosterone works, Daniel," he says with the air of an overworked teacher. He looks at her with a smile, uncertain but genuine. She laughs, allowing him to move the conversation on.

She walks out of the gym first but holds the door for him. He grins, relieved. His fingers skim hers as he takes it and she lets go. A chill runs through her. Cold like scales, cold like ice cream untouched.

Follow up here!

[itwoodbeprefect]

one thing i have to hand to people online who leave reviews on obviously low budget westerns is that at least they don't complain that it's an obviously low budget western. it seems that i can't say this for some of the people leaving reviews on obviously low budget queer movies