#it sucks because most of the people who speak as ''authority'' on this are white people with no ancestral ties to haiti or academic experti
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By the way, I did look into Maman Brigitte's origins. There is no doubt that she is connected to the Celtic Saint, but she took on a new form in Haiti. Although they have similar names, the Haitian Gran Brijit is traditionally portrayed as an older Black woman -- not a white woman as many believe.
I plan to write something longer about this at a later time.
In the meantime, here is an article that covers the origins of Maman Brigitte.
This video is also informative: https://www.tiktok.com/@ayitiorganic1804/video/7296438970303515947
#commentary#if you have access to milo marcelin's mythologie vodou he also describes her there#it sucks because most of the people who speak as ''authority'' on this are white people with no ancestral ties to haiti or academic experti#so few people cite a credible source! it drives me insane!
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ok Worm Bigotry Breakdown in more detail for @silverflyingpikachu
tl;dr: author is Cishet White Guy From Canada In 2011. he ostensibly thinks he is progressive. this does not change his proclivity for tossing his Cishet White Guy From Canada Biases into the books and then saying even more bigoted things in defense of those writing decisions on forums. wildbow is just some cunt on the forums with bad opinions on wildbow's writing. the book is 1.7 million words long but i believe in my ability 2 categorize this shit with decent accuracy. everyone who has ever said worm's CWs can't be categorized, including wildbow himself, is a lying ass bitch. this will include some vague spoilers, because i can't really go in-depth without a few examples, but i'll stay away from anything too plot-critical.
racism:
- worm is fundamentally a book abt systems of power and the ways in which they suck. some of the critiques worm issues--e.g, its depiction of how school systems enable bullying, inspired by wildbow's own experiences w/ the school systems as a deaf kid--are viscerally accurate and incredibly compelling. but wildbow fundamentally doesn't understand how certain systems of oppression work--e.g policing--and subsequently, his attempts at depicting them occasionally fall flat onto their face and land in racist territory. this gets particularly nasty when combined w/ the White Guy Author propensity for racist stereotypes--for example, his chosen face of police brutality is a black girl portrayed as predatory & animalistic.
- who is also one of the only black people in the book overall, alongside--for example--an addict portrayed as having less interiority & being less deserving of empathy than A Literal Fucking Nazi. also, the main characters have to team up with the nazis "for the greater good" (defeating the mean asian villains) at one point. it is a mercy to the readers when this part of the story ends. - there are two black characters in the main cast. for the first, wildbow just Straight Up Forgot to include the most compelling aspect of their background + characterization in the text (it was provided via WoG instead, which i provide to all wormreaders like a fuckin' DLC patch when they get to where it's relevant) & entirely forgets they exist towards where the end of their character arc should have been. the second is introduced w/ the most misogynoiristic description on the planet but blessedly has a largely compelling and well-written arc as the book goes on. - depiction of china is just like. fox news level sinophobic "it's all a brainwashed indistinguishable evil cult" shit. not relevant for very long relatively speaking but insufferable to read. asian characters are also like. we got Brutal Yet Honorable Asian Man. we got Fiery Asian Girl With Blue Eyes. it fucking blows it's not good
- oh yeah forgot this one someone mentioned in the tags. #it's an insignificant paragraph and nobody talks about it but the part where it goes #âyeah literally EVERY cape in South America is with a cartel and the heroes are barely distinguishable from the villainsâ #fuck you #not that the others aren't bad the fatphobia gets really gross but nobody mentions this and that one got me so yeah typical Insufferable Awful Imperial Core Author Understanding Of What Other Countries Are Like - i could make this section one million bulletpoints long but the gist is summarized i think--wildbow's varied racist biases leak fucking everywhere, into character design, into narrative assumptions about who's deserving of interiority/empathy or not, into attempts at Saying Anything About Society, into which characters he prioritizes, into who he offers validity via the narrative, etc etc etc.
homophobia: - theres a girl named amy dallon in it and she is the worst lesbophobic stereotype ever known to man. no other Problematic Lesbianâą you can think of has anything on this girl. the worst part is that she genuinely has a decently compelling character concept and arc, which her being awful is integral to, so you might accidentally find her interesting anyway and then she'll move into your brain - wildbow kept accidentally writing characters that scan as massive dykes and then got really mad about f/f ships for the book being popular in the fandom. he responded by making a deranged forum post involving the phrase "pandering is pandering" insisting everyone (but the bisexual "hedonist") is straight and writing a scene into the book where one of the characters literally turns to the camera and tells the readers "not to get the wrong idea" about her hugging her friend. - over the course of 1.7 million words he finds excuses to loudly inform you that all of the relevant female characters are straight and it's sooo shoehorned in you can always tell when he's doing it - basically worm is like if naruto was about homoerotic teenage girls who do violent terrible things, in terms of levels of unintentional homoeroticism, and the author responds to ppl going "lmao gay" about the unintentional homoeroticism with poorly restrained seething rage
fatphobia: - generic brand of fatphobia you'll see in p much all mainstream media where only side/bg characters are fat and it's obliquely used as a descriptor to indicate that someone has negative personality traits or should be viewed as sort of gross
anti-addict shit: - wildbow generally likes writing about how social circumstances--i.e neglect from society, oppression, failure on behalf of systems--causes crime. he generally likes demonstrating the ways in which the villainous main characters are traumatized teenagers failed by society fumbling to keep existing & holding each other up through The Horrors. unfortunately all of this intelligent writing flies out the nearest window when addicts are involved. there is a gang comprised entirely of addicts, all of whom are portrayed as disgusting, violent, dangerous, and of course often racially stereotyped. it is a mercy to the readers when they're no longer relevant to the story. - on a more subtle level, characters are every so often just like. a little more anti-drug than they would realistically be and you can tell it's wildbow's opinions leaking into their characterization. this is largely what the anti-addict writing is kept to after The Addict Villains leave the story iirc.
if youre wondering wellwhy does anyone read this book then. to that i would say that unfortunately despite it all it'sa fucking excellent book. so we all carry on reading the parts that suck and thinking about how they suck and then reading the parts that fuck and going "ouuugh my god" and rolling down 20 flights of stairs about how hard they fuck.
#sorry if i missed anything this entire post was written while so tired#parahumans#apparenty people lke this one so ill maintag it in case anyone finds it useful its very slapdash though
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Bnha 391 and General Small Comment;
Ok so i didnt like a lot of things with bnha lately for most of the things, especially how story deal with its villains. Yeah, it is not over but until now, i dont think its good. Story focus on power more than it focus on actually adressing the flaws of society author build up at first place.
- Deku hasnt speak to Shigaraki yet but until this point, the way he dealt with villains, his interaction with them isnt good enough. like, you cant change things by keep saying everthing black and white or saying there is hope. I think story didnt give enough character development for Izuku to come that point so at least, i hope, Shiggy will do something about it.
- Todoroki family plot bad. It was always bad because of how much story focus on Endeavourâs bad written redemption arc, he literally choose everyone over Touya since beginning until the end, i hate how he casually hugs him and speak over him when Touya was talking. Guy kinda feels guilty, yeah, but he express that âguiltâ in a very selfish way that it drives me nuts. Literally your typical abuser. I cant believe of all people, Endeavour has to be the one who close to him, not Rei, not his siblings but him...And with other family members too. I think some people already talked about this, that main problem with Todoroki family is that they keep blaming him for speaking up and once again, if this is the final arc for Todo family, Fuyumi and Natsuoâs speech sucks.
With Shouto, i think the problem is that bnha is a story about saving peopleâs hearth, not psychically defeating them and as readers, we should witness that change between Shouto and Dabi, that beginning point (like âyour powerâ scene for Shouto) didnt happen yet. And i wonder, do anyone remember um fake heroes plot? Endeavourâs bad hero career with how violently he attacks towards criminal from Twiceâs speech chapter or how he almost killed Koichi in vigilantes? Dabiâs speech? What is the point of all of these things, if its not gonna be adressed properly, especially between Dabi and Shouto since they are villain and hero. I know its not over but until now, it was bad. To be honest, only thing i am satisfied with Todo family plot is Rei and Touya interaction. It looks like the only one its completed for final arc. Because she literally choose Touya over millions to save him, no justification, no victim blaming, no anger, just a worried mother, calling her sonâs name and tells that she is sorry, and thats it. She doesnt make whole speech and self pity, unlike Bakugou and Endeavour. See the difference. And if author wasnt so obsessed with Endeavourâs nonexistent redemption arc, i am sure that we would get more of Rei. She did what she could do best for Touya as civillian, ordinary person. This part of story is fine but others? Bad.
- Allmight and others too. I dont want to talk about every detail because you know the summary, flaws of society isnt adressed properly/at all and story focus on power dynamic and etc.
But for at least this chapter, i would like to say, i kinda like this one. Uraraka and Toga development, interaction. At first, Uraraka would brush off everything Toga said and does, which makes sense since she was from other side. And Toga would talk your typical villain but after that Toga crying scene, Uraraka seems to be able empathize with her than many other heroes ever could for villains. The way she just accepted that she was wrong about her, that she changed her mind, she also knows that she is in pain and she says sorry, she is not angry, she is not rejecting her, she tells her that she found her. I mean, look at her face when she speaks to her. Like, great start, Uraraka. I think there are still many issues with story and how fast everything happens but i really like this one. It feels like an actually hero speech who geniuely wants to empathize with villain, completely stranger, just a girl who is like her. Unlike before, she doesnt talk like a robot with âyou did commit crime so everything happens to you, you deserve itâ type of attitude. No. This time Uraraka is different.
At least for this chapter, for now, Uraraka Ochaco is rising.
Edit; I made it Clear that i write this based on my personal opinion. Literally, every second of this post is "i think". Certain people use this to insult and harass me. It just shows what kind of people they are. If you disagree, make your own post without mentioning/making me involve in any way. Of course, if you want to debate about series with respect, i dont mind. I dont think being kind is too hard.
#bnha 391#mha 391#bnha analysis#mha meta#bnha criticism#writing criticism#uraraka ochaco#toga himiko#midoriya izuku#twice#dabi#todoroki rei#todoroki shouto#todoroki fuyumi#todoroki natsuo#todoroki enji#endeavour#endeavor#tw abuse#todoroki touya
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'Such Sweet Revenge' by ali_aliska
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146219/chapters/35123417
This is one of the best fanfictions I've ever read. ali_aliska is one of the best WinterIron/Marvel fanfiction writers ever.
As always, all credit goes to ali_aliska. I OWN NOTHING. THIS IS NOT MY WORK!!!!
I am just premoting it because it is so, so good!
Author's Summary:
When the Rogues are back in the States after being pardoned, the New Avengers want nothing to do with them and as far as Tony is concerned, if he never speaks to them again, it'll be too soon. After all, he didn't spend the last year putting himself (and his family) back together only for his former co-workers to ruin all of his hard work.
But then he gets a hand-written letter from the Winter Soldier himself, apologizing for the events that transpired and an off-handed comment from Rhodey about Rogers failing to take care of an obviously miserable Bucky Barnes sets in motion Tony's new, oh-so-evil plan to get some payback.
After all, what better revenge than to steal the Winter Soldier away from his best friend?
The only problem: Tony sucks at being vengeful, but apparently he's an expert at inadvertently falling in love.
Excerpt from chapter 1:
Tony admired the bright doodles of Iron Man, Spider-Man, and a very Picasso-esque rendition of the Wasp one last time and placed the last letter on top of new pile next to him. With nothing else left to read, he studied the damn white envelope still sitting innocuously on the other end of the bed.Â
He should burn it. He should take the damn thing down to the lab and burn it in the incinerator, scatter the ashes from the top of Stark Tower, and maybe invoke Lokiâs name in an incantation or something. Tony was not ashamed to admit that he was petty enough to sic the Trickster god on Rogers.
He should do all those things, but already he resigned himself to the fact that curiosity would get the best of him. It was both one of his best and most reckless personality traits.Â
Kudos to Rogers for using snail mail (again) to get a direct line of communication to Tony.
Alright, letâs see what kind of half-assed apologies and passive aggressive nonsense he came up with this time. At least thereâs no insulting, out-of-date tech to go along with this letter.
He reached for the envelope, tore it open, unfolded the paper, and promptly realized that this wasnât Rogersâ tidy scrawl (he hated that he had the manâs handwriting memorized). A glance at signature towards the bottom of the letter confirmed his suspicions.
Huh.
With a raised eyebrow and renewed curiosity, Tony leaned back and began to read.
Mr. Stark,
I wasnât sure this letter would get to you, but I had to try. I thought about meeting you in person (youâre too easy to track down for someone of your importance), but that would have been both imposing and selfish.
Even this is selfish. I know no apology will fix what Iâve done. It wonât bring your parents back, it wonât bring anyone I killed back to life. It wonât fix what happened between you, Steve and the others either. Might not help you at all, so this apology, itâs selfish then, isnât it? Just to help me sleep better at night. If it makes a difference, I still wonât be able to sleep.
But for whatever itâs worth, I am sorry. Iâm so sorry. For your parents, for fighting you in Germany without knowing anymore than what Steve had told me. Iâm sorry for fighting you in Siberia, for leaving you behind when you were hurt.
I wish you wouldâve taken more than just my arm back in that bunker.Â
Iâm not sure if thereâs something I can do to make up for what happened. I donât have money and most of my skillsets are frowned upon, but if there is any way I can help, or if you just want to shoot me between the eyes to even out the score, just say so.
Being back in the States, Iâve had a lot of time to think. Canât sleep with that damn witch across the hall, so I got nothing but time. I made mistakes, hurt people who werenât my enemies. First time I was free of Hydraâs control and all I did was do more damage.Â
Iâve been reading up on your work. Green energy, technology, the new Accords. All of you are doing amazing work and Iâm sorry Steve and the others are getting in the way of that. They shouldnât have ambushed Rhodes and Danvers like that. A damn charity event for sick kids. I donât know what they were thinking. Rhodes and Danvers held their own though. Soldiers through and through.
Steve is also thinking about coming to that green energy conference next month. Thinks he can get a moment with you because youâre one of the speakers and the security isnât as strict. No idea if this letter gets to you in time, and knowing you, you probably already know, but thought I should warn you.
They used some of your tech to help with the triggers, by the way. Thank you for that too. TâChallaâs sister didnât want to be involved though and I donât blame her, but the other doctors did well enough with the tech. My brain feels like itâs been scrubbed raw, but at least some lunatic wonât be able to control me anymore. Thank you for giving me that freedom. Again, I have nothing to give back but empty words.
You seem like a good man. I wish I got the chance to know you under different circumstances, but I guess thatâs selfish too.
Wherever life takes you, I wish you well.
Sincerely,
James Buchanan Barnes
âHuhâŠâ Tony exhaled and kept staring at the letter in his hands.Â
Not what I expected. At all.
#winteriron#tony x bucky#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#not my fanfic#not mine#buckybarnes#fanfic#tony stark fanfiction#NOT MINE!!!#ao3#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#captain america civil war#mcu fanfic#marvel au
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I would like to take a moment to acknowledge how fucking hilarious it is that people will decide and then assert that Iâm white whenever I point out that there is racism in Homestuck. Especially the Anti-Blackness.
I would also like to point out that it is kind of disgusting to assume that scrutinizing the writings of a white author who is known to have been racist both before and during the writing of a particular body of work is somehow indicative of whiteness on behalf of the analyst.
It is frankly horrendous, considering this fandoms long, sordid history of silencing critical Black voices within its community. A big reason a lot of Black creators + analysts arenât saying anything about the racial aspects of anymore is because so many other Black people got brutally harassed off their platform if they dared to breathe even one criticism in the direction of Their Lord And Savior, Andrew Hussie. People still get sent torrents of hate and threats if they speak their mind, especially if they approach it with any level of emotion⊠Even though Anti-Blackness would be something that affects them directly.
Which is⊠Both tragic and unsurprising. Black people are hardly ever afforded the right to their emotions when speaking about the racism that affects them every day. Theyâre often not allowed to be passionate, not allowed to get heated. They have to be calm, professional, and, most of all, palatable. Non-threatening. Words canât express how much this sucks.
Hereâs the thing. I know if I was an openly Black creator, Iâd be getting a lot more shit for saying the things I do. People will reject what Iâm saying based on the false assumption that Iâm white, sure⊠But I canât help but think that thereâs also a lot of people who are only accepting what Iâm saying⊠based on that same false assumption that Iâm white. When people see criticism of Anti-Blackness in media by someone who is openly Black, they take that as them painting a target on their back. Racist people take Black people speaking their mind as an opportunity to pull the trigger on a gun that they were already aiming.
Thereâs absolutely plenty of normal people in between, but Iâve been in this community long enough- hell, Iâve been on the internet in general long enough. People just fucking hate listening to Black people about their concerns.
So I canât help but think thereâs some kind of⊠Ulterior motive to dismissing my criticism with the assumption that Iâm white. I donât have my race in my bio, so I havenât painted the appropriate target on my back. If I havenât said Iâm Black- someone easy to harass into silence- then I must be white- something easy to label as ignorant to the struggles of any and all People of Color. I am neither white nor Black. You guys need to realize that other races exist.
And you need to stop being so fucking protective of a racist white guy that you donât even know.
Seriously, just how often do people have to point out the sheer volume of times this guy has said the whole ass N-word and utilized Black caricatures in his work for people to accept that maybe Hussie was just actually racist, and that this has a tangible impact on what he writes?
Fucking hell, this isnât rocket science, people.
#deranged behavior#homestuck#homestuck meta#homestuck analyis#andrew hussie#cw racism#homestuck.pdf#nekro.pdf#nekro.txt
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And one more thing...
I truly meant to let sleeping dogs lie after my post yesterday about leaving Kindergarten Mafia, the now infamous, racist Discord server because it had everything I wanted to say at the time.
BUT.
Here I am, sliding back in, with more things.
And I warn you ahead of time that this post will probably make you feel uncomfortable. That's fine.
Because I remembered the new thing I was going to do : if someone has made me feel uncomfortable, that takes away their right to comfort as well. Respect goes both ways and so does comfort.
I believe both posts are equally valuable. And I want you to sit with your discomfort if this anger seems "off" or you feel that it's petty. So I hope you stay until the end of this long rant because there's a greater point I want to make about POC anger and discomfort from witnessing that.
It's meant to be petty and I mean it with every fiber of my being.
Yesterday, I was made aware of the server owner, in their new server, specifically wrote that they're "trying to get the joy back from fandom".
And that singular phrase not only triggered disgust but various other thoughts I had held back, out of misplaced respect, in my last post. The gloves are coming off and the claws are coming out.
So this is for the people who were complicit in downplaying, gaslighting, and otherwise making it a miserable fandom experience for us (marginalized folks + POC) : go fuck yourselves. You do not deserve fandom joy when it has been sucked out, by people like you.
I'm calling out AO3 authors like Ahdriking. Ahdriking was a popular author I used to respect in the fandom. But after being inactive for most of my stay in the server, Ahdriking suddenly emerged from the shadows to take the side of the perpetrators. They came in at the 11th hour, not having interacted with or actually know any of us that were speaking out, just to defend the people who hurt us.
You do not get to quietly fade into the background of anonymity, enjoying accolades from unknowing readers, when behind closed doors, you've acted like this.
I do have to thank you, Ahdri, for making me finally understand how well-written authors can be terrible outside of their writing, like JK Rowling.
Another AO3 author like Frog_of_Fandom, who joined the new server and is gleefully poking fun at those of us who left.
To be clear, this is not for those who were nonconfrontational. This is specifically for those who were complicit - whether it was directly within server messages or staying silent and then moving to the new "safe" space. (Credit to Snake and Mouse for this distinction.)
The worst part of it is, I myself wasn't treated nearly as badly as some of my Black and indigenous counterparts.
There's a reason for that.
I frequently mentioned my identity as a Korean-American. Server members were very aware of that and my profile picture is a real life one, not a fandom reference.
I, as an Asian, got received with relative politeness while Black and brown members were booted out.
This is a familiar racist tactic.
You don't need to go any further than a TikTok comment section to see evidence of this. Black and brown creators have some of the worst comments I've seen on that app. (I posted a TikTok recently on the topic if you'd like to hear the specifics.) The SAME message can be said by a white creator vs Black, brown, indigenous etc with very different results.
Backlash against Black anger is well documented by various scholars.
As a rather pale faced Asian - the polite reception to my anger is part of my privilege. It struck me how different the server owner and problematic mods treated my messages and that of Black or brown server members.
And it makes me incredibly angry, not relieved.
Because on top of the sympathetic anger I felt for my POC counterparts, I wondered if they had fetishized me this whole time.
Note that the fandom for the server is KinnPorsche, a Thai BL, for those who don't know - a queer Thai drama.
That somehow, my anger was palatable because I, as a queer Asian, was adjacent to their beloved drama characters.
But before I write a novel-length fic again as a post, I'll stop here, despite having so much more to say.
This is truly the last I want to reference those energy vampires.
For me, I will try to leave behind the feelings of disgust I have with my first foray into a fandom and take with me the true friendships with folks that care about joy for everyone and not just a few.
Many many lessons have been learned and re-enforced from past experiences. I'm not happy that any of us had to experience this but sometimes, shit happens.
Wipe it up and flush it down the toilet, where it belongs.
#ao3 writer#decolonize fandom spaces#kinnporsche fandom#kindergarten mafia#Is it petty yes#do i have regrets no#I said what I said#Unlike some people I stand by my words#I'd say this to anyone in real life#kinnporsche ao3
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Miracle Baby
Summary - Loki had more than one plan to get Jack's Ancient Gene.
This plan is to create a child using Jack's DNA, Daniel's DNA and the DNA of a former Goa'uld host Daniel knows well.
Which means Daniel's life is about to change dramatically again as his past is no longer in the past and he will soon be a single father.
Authorâs Note - I've had this half written for years, and finally picked it up to finish.
Anyway, hope you enjoy.
*********************************************** Jack sat at his big desk, in his big office, tossing paper into the trashcan. He knew it was the best thing for him to take this promotion, but it didnât stop him missing the SGC or his team, and they would always be his team no matter what.
âYello,â he answered the phone when it rang.
âOâNeill,â a familiar voice spoke, âAre you alone within the room.â
âYeahâŠâ Jack looked up and found he was on the Asgard ship, âHey there, Thor.â
âGreetings, OâNeill,â the small grey alien said, âI apologise if you had something important to do, but this could not wait.â
âWhatâs up?â Jack asked intrigued.
Thor motioned Jack to follow him, âAs you know Loki was trying to find a way to help our people reverse the effects that have disabled us from reproducing. We have discovered another of his experiments, which directly affects yourself as well as Dr Jackson.â
âAnd cloning me last time didnât affect us?â Jack murmured, stopping dead as he saw the cryochamber Thor moved in front of, staring in amazement, âI want the full story then we go get Daniel.â
~
Daniel Jackson was officially bored.
He was sitting in the briefing room as the new General tried to reorganise his department, along with the rest of the SGC. This was something that seemed to happen every time there was a change in who was running the SGC, except Jack. He knew better than to try reorganising Danielâs system, besides he couldnât have cared less as long as the work was done.
So, ignoring most of what was going on, Daniel was writing out the lyrics to select Beatlesâ songs in several languages. Heâd no idea why heâd picked them but had found that trying to write âOctopuses Gardenâ in Goaâuld quite challenging.
âDr Jackson,â Landry invited him to speak.
Daniel sighed but before he could say a word his world dissolved in a bright white light, which faded to reveal someone he was very pleased to see.
âHi, Jack,â Daniel grinned, âYour timing doesnât suck.â
Jack looked at him worried, âSomething wrong?â
âJust a meeting I was sure was going to force me into a coma,â Daniel rolled his eyes before looking around, âWhy am I on an Asgard ship?â
Jack took a deep breath, âSomethingâs happened. How long do you have till you collapse?â
Daniel checked his watch, âI saw Vala just before I entered the meeting, since that seemed to last at least a year I should be dead. In reality Iâve got about two hours.â
âThat should be enough time,â Jack mused; âCome with me.â
~
Daniel was a little confused as he followed his friend through the corridors of the ship, âJack, whatâs going on?â
Jack stopped and turned to him, âThor contacted me because apparently before they caught him Loki was up to quite a few experiments.â
âTell me he didnât clone me too?â Daniel groaned, âBecause thatâs just a little too much.â
âNo,â Jack sighed, âDaniel, before he cloned me, he was trying to get my gene another way.â
âWhat other way?â Daniel was getting confused and more worried.
âBy creating a child,â Jack explained, âHowever, he also took DNA from you.â
âWhich is why Iâm here,â Daniel frowned before asking, âWe have a kid?â
âNot yet,â Jack grimaced again, âThereâs also the third donator of DNA, the childâs mother,â
Daniel felt shivers run down his spine at how serious Jack was being, âWho is that?â
âCome on,â Jack continued to walk to where Thor was waiting for them.
Daniel followed on stopping dead as he entered the lab; he stared at the cryo-tube that Thor was standing beside.
âShaâre,â Daniel breathed, staring at her in shock, finding Jack holding his arm keeping him steady as anger took over, âWhat the hell is going on?â
âI can explain,â Thor spoke up.
~
âLoki believed that our salvation lay within the Ancient gene OâNeill possesses,â Thor explained, âOne plan was to clone OâNeill, which you saw the result of.â
âAnd continue to every time he wants something,â Daniel muttered.
âThis experiment to gain this was to mix the genetic material with that of someone who had been possessed by a Goaâuld,â Thor continued as horror filled Danielâs eyes, âAfter implantation of the Goaâuld there is a change within the genetic make-up of the host.â
Daniel turned to Jack and then back to where Shaâre lay, noticing finally she was pregnant, âYouâŠthatâŠJack?â
âLoki used a mixture of our DNA to get Shaâre pregnant,â Jack told his friend gently.
âYou were an ascended being,â Thor reminded Daniel, âYour DNA was altered during this time, in a way your own medical science would not be able to recognise but our technology does.â
Daniel started to laugh a little hysterically, âSo, he dug up my wife and brought her back to life then got her pregnant by me and Jack?â
âDanielâŠâ
âWhy has this taken so long if this was done before Jack was cloned?â Daniel demanded.
âWe only recently discovered this experiment,â Thor told him, âWe believe he accelerated the embryoâs growth to its sixth month before placing her within the cryo-chamber, his notes indicate he believed that the final three months had to be natural. We captured him before he could allow that to happen.â
âWhy havenât you woken her?â Daniel whispered, moving to the chamber his fingers resting against the glass at his wifeâs beautiful face.
Jack hesitated for a moment before gently telling his friend, âBecause she canât wake up, Daniel.â
âWhat?â
âLokiâs revival process only brought back her body and basic brain functions,â Thor explained, âShe can breathe on her own while her body supports the child but her mindâŠâ
âShe isnât really alive,â Daniel felt tears sting his eyes but blinked them away focussing on remaining angry because he couldnât lose control until he was alone, âSo, what now?â
âThe council and I believe that it would be best for the remainder of the pregnancy continue under the supervision of your doctors,â Thor explained, âTo ensure that she receives the proper treatment and so that you, as the childâs fathers, are there for the birth. We will provide upgrades for your hospital bed so that her body remains comfortable, and healthy.â
Daniel was shaking slightly as he tried to remain focussed, âWe should speak to Landry about fixing this.â
Jack nodded before asking, âDo you want me to do it?â
âYouâre going to have to,â Daniel breathed.
                            *********************************************
Landry jumped when a bright light filled his office before revealing Jack OâNeill.
âHey,â Jack grinned, grabbing a seat.
âJack,â Landry started, trying to work out what to ask before just deciding on, âWhatâs going on?â
âThor came to see me and Daniel,â Jack explained, âSorry about your meeting.â
âI have a feeling Dr Jackson wasn't paying attention to me anyway,â Landry grimaced.
Jack shrugged, âDonât try and change how he does things in his departments. It wonât work, Weir tried and so did Bauer. But at the moment thatâs not important. The reason Thor took us is.â
âAnd what is that?â Landry asked.
He listened as Jack explained, knowing his mouth was falling open at the story.
âI didnât even know Dr Jackson had been married,â Landry murmured, âShouldnât that be in the reports.â
âMost of what you have is only from the past few years,â Jack explained, âWhen I originally told you about the SGC, I decided to leave it out. It wasn't something you needed to know considering how long ago she died.â
Landry nodded, âAlright, Iâll give you that. What about now?â
âThree months and sheâll have the baby,â Jack told him, âIâll make sure Thor leaves everything the doctors will need.â
âOf course,â Landry nodded, âAnd Dr Jackson?â
âDaniel will not leave the planet, he probably wonât leave the base,â Jack replied, âEven like this, Shaâre means more to him than anything and this childâŠIâm telling you now, donât try to push him into going off world because youâll lose.â
~
Dr Lam stood at the door to the empty room sheâd been ordered to prepare as her father and General OâNeill stood nearby waiting.
âIs everything ready?â Landry asked.
âCompletely,â she replied, âAm I getting told whatâs going on?â
âNope but youâre about to be shown,â Jack told her, nodding to the room before holding up the communicator to his mouth, âOkay, Thor. Weâre ready.â
Lam gasped as the light filled the room dissipating to leave Daniel Jackson standing beside the bed, an unconscious pregnant woman on it. Once he realised where he was, Daniel turned to the bed and gently fixed the covers around the dark-haired woman.
âWhatâs going on?â Lam demanded of the two Generals standing at her side.
Landry took her arm, âCome here.â
~
Jack watched Landry explain for a second before he entered the room, walking to where Daniel was staring at his wife.
âNo offence to Dr Lam,â Daniel sighed, âBut I wish it was Janet here. She knew, she understood.â
Jack placed his hand on his friendâs shoulder, âYeah.â
âI canât do this,â Daniel turned to him, âJack, I canât spend the next few months waiting for her to have a child before losing her again.â
âDanny, I know this is hard and I know Thor would have let me take her somewhere else,â Jack reminded him, âBut I know you and I knew her. Even though Thor says her mind isnât there anymore, I donât believe that.â
âShe knows Iâm here,â Daniel whispered, turning back to her.
âIâm betting on it,â Jack nodded, âIâll be back in a bit. Iâve got some calls to make.â
âJack,â Daniel called, stopping his friend, âThanks.â
Jack nodded at him before leaving the room, once he left Jack sighed. He couldnât understand why the universe delighted in doing things like this to Daniel. The poor guy had been through so much and now he had to sit waiting for his long-dead wife to give birth, while she was in a coma of sorts, knowing that the moment the child was born Shaâre would die - again.
Jack headed to Danielâs office to use the phone there rather than taking over Landryâs. His first call was to his own office, letting them know where he was before he called Hammond and Sam so that they knew what was going on. Daniel was going to need the whole family for this.
                            *********************************************
Jack stood waiting for the IDC to come through before he headed into the Gateroom to greet Tealâc.
âOâNeill?â Tealâc looked at him surprised as he walked down the ramp, âIt is good to see you again.â
âGood to see you too, T,â Jack replied, âCome on, somethingâs happening and you need to know whatâs going on.â
Tealâc followed his friend, listening in astonishment as Jack laid out the past few hours for him.
âHow is Daniel Jackson?â Tealâc asked; his concern for his friend the first thing on his mind.
âNot doing too great,â Jack sighed, âHeâs not left her side except when he has to see his friend who stuck the bracelet on him. I donât know if he will leave the base until the birth.â
âI wish to see him,â Tealâc told him, âHave you called Samantha Carter?â
âShe and Hammond are on their way,â Jack explained, âNone of us can stay for the full three months, T but for the moment I think having us all here will be a good thing.â
Tealâc nodded stopping as they came to the doorway of the small room where Shaâre lay. Daniel was sitting by her side, his eyes fixed on her face, sadness radiating from him. He either heard or sensed them because he turned, smiling slightly to see Tealâc standing with Jack.
âHi, Tealâc,â Daniel spoke softly, as though Shaâre was simply sleeping, and he didnât want to wake her.
âDaniel Jackson,â Tealâc nodded, moving into the room resting his hand on his friendâs shoulder, âHow are you?â
Daniel shrugged, âAsk me again in three months.â
Jack gave a slight smile as he moved over to look down on the young woman lying there. She did look as though she was simply sleeping, which made this all the harder. He glanced over at the machines at her side that were tracking both her and the babyâs vitals. It felt strange to think that yesterday, she was dead to them, to Daniel and that Daniel had managed to move on with his life but nowâŠthis baby would be more special than anyone realised.
Jack wanted to be involved in raising the child because part of the DNA had come from him, but he knew that baby belonged with Daniel more than anyone. As two thirds of the childâs DNA was from Daniel and his wife.
Jack shook himself from the thought; it was going to be a long three months.
~
Sam hurried through the corridors, Hammond at her side, heading to the infirmary. She wasn't surprised to find Jack standing waiting for them.
âSir,â she nodded, âHow is he?â
Jack shrugged, âHard to say. Hey, George.â
âJack,â Hammond greeted him.
âI know neither of you can be here for long,â Jack told them as they walked, âBut I thought Daniel would need us all here for the first few days.â
Sam nodded, worried about her friend. They reached the room where Daniel was sitting talking to Shaâre as Tealâc stood guard in the corner of the room. He was holding her hand telling her about what heâd been doing since theyâd last been together.
None of them wanted to interrupt but Daniel glanced over and saw them standing there.
âHi,â he greeted them softly; his voice had not risen from that level since Shaâre had been moved into the room.
âHey,â Sam walked over to him and hugged him tightly.
Daniel smiled softly, âGood to see you, Sam.â
He glanced over at his friends, who crowded around his wifeâs bed.
âShaâre,â he murmured, gently stroking her hand, âThese are my friends.â
                            *********************************************
Jack sat trying to finish everything he needed to. He was heading back to the SGC in two hours. Sha're was due to give birth in less than two weeks and Jack wanted to be there for his friend during this time. The last few months had been hard on the archaeologist; heâd hardly left the SGC at all.
Once the effect of the bracelet Vala had put him on had disappeared completely, Daniel had barely left Shaâreâs room.
Jack had made it to the base as often as possible, keeping his friendâs spirits up and watching the unconscious woman bloom. Heâd heard the babyâs heartbeat, felt it kick, watching Daniel withdraw more and more as he continued his vigil.
âYello?â Jack answered his phone just as he was about to leave.
âAre you alone, OâNeill?â Thor asked.
Jack grabbed the bag in the corner of the room, âYeah,â he answered, not surprised as the light surrounded him, âSo,â he looked at the small grey alien in front of him, âWhatâs up?â
âOâNeill,â Thor nodded, âSeveral of our scientists have been intrigued by the situation concerning Dr Jacksonâs wife and believe that the child may hold the key to saving the Asgard.â
âNo offence,â Jack told him, âBut right now, thatâs not my concern.â
âI understand,â Thor replied, he moved to Jack and offered him a vial, âThis however may be.â
âWhat is it?â Jack asked, swirling the cloudy liquid around, âAsgard liquor?â
Thor tilted his head thoughtfully, âIt is hopefully a way to bring Shaâre Jackson back.â
âBack?â Jack stared at him, âAs in back? As in awake and alive and no longer...back?â
Thor did what Jack assumed was a nod, âLokiâs notes were very specific. It will be best to give her it once she is in childbirth. The serum should react with her bodyâs natural chemicals and hopefullyâŠâ
âIt brings her back to us,â Jack smiled, âGreat. Can you drop me in the base? Iâll give you a yell when itâs time.â
~
Daniel sat in his usual seat at his wifeâs side; he had given up his pretence of working for the day and was simply sitting watching her. Occasionally heâd talk to the baby who he knew was listening because the child would kick at his voice.
âHey,â Jack announced his presence, his voice soft as Danielâs always was in the room.
âHey,â Daniel replied, fixing Shaâreâs covers so that she was presentable, âYouâre early.â
âI wanted to talk to you before everyone else got here,â Jack said, âAbout what happens after.â
âAfter?â
âDaniel,â Jack hated having to be the one to do it, but his friend needed to think about this, âYouâre going to be a father soon. You have to have some sort of plan?â
âI donât know how to see that far,â Daniel sighed, âI canât see beyond losing her again.â
Jack gently rested his hand on Danielâs shoulder, âI understand how you feel, Danny but you have to remember that soon thereâs going to be a baby that relies on you. Youâve got to have some sort of plan how youâre going to take care of the kid.â
âHow do I do that?â Daniel whispered, âIâve never been good with kids. Shaâre wanted them and I knew sheâd teach me.â He turned to look at his wifeâs unconscious form on the bed, âShe canât now.â
Jack squeezed his friendâs shoulder, âFirst we sort a nursery, get a crib, diapers, formula, bottles,â he paused, âIâm sure one of the doctors or anyone who has kids here can tell us all we need.â
âUs?â
âWell, favourite uncle here,â Jack reminded Daniel, getting a small smile from his friend, âIâve taken a few weeks off to help while you get sorted and settled with the baby.â
Daniel looked at him with gratitude in his eyes, he leaned over and kissed Shaâreâs forehead.
âIâll be back soon,â he promised before he headed out of the room.
Jack looked at the woman on the bed for a moment then followed Daniel.
~
It took them a few days but Daniel, with Jackâs help, sorted a nursey in his house. Sitting at the side of the crib, which had taken them longer to assemble than they were ever going to admit to anyone, was Shaâreâs picture. So, her baby would always know her.
Daniel returned to the SGC and his vigil by his wifeâs bed while Jack took over an office to work where he was close enough to check in on his friend.
Time passed bringing them closer to the day Shaâre would give birth and Daniel would lose her once more, unless the Asgard concoction worked.
Jack wasnât sure it would, so didnât want to give his friend false hope.
                            *********************************************
Daniel finished his meeting with SG6 and, after a quick detour to his office to pick up some books, returned to the room in the infirmary where his wife lay. From the timeline Thor had given them, it was less than two days before her due date. The doctor had told him that once her body went into labour, they would perform a caesarean.
Then Shaâre would be gone once more, and he would have a baby to raise.
He was having a hard time looking that far into the future but knew it was coming. Thankfully Jack would be here to him navigate what came after.
Taking his seat at her side once more, Daniel stroked her hair, âSorry I was away so long, love. I had to make sure SG6 know what theyâre doing when talking to the locals of the planet theyâre heading to.â
As always, he received no answer, but it didnât deter him. It meant that the baby knew his voice and it felt good to talk to her. Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, Daniel sat and began to work.
~
It was about three hours later when the alarms in the room began to sound. Daniel spun as Doctor Evans came running into the room.
âWhatâs wrong?â worry filled Danielâs voice.
He turned to Daniel, âSheâs in labour.â
Danielâs head spun as everything suddenly kicked into gear and the room was soon filled with people. He wanted to scream at them to leave, that it was too soon, that he couldnât lose her today, but he knew nothing would stop this.
Jack appeared suddenly and began to talk to the doctor who looked confused before finally nodding. He spotted something being passed between them but didnât get a chance to see any further as his attention was pulled to the nurse who was insisting that he put a gown on.
âDr Jackson,â Doctor Evans turned to him, âI know you want to be here for the birth, so I need you to stay by your wifeâs side and hold her hand. Let us do our job.â
He nodded, frowning as something was injected into the IV that Shaâre had connected to her other arm.
âWhatâs that?â
âJustâŠâ the doctor hesitated and glanced at Jack making Daniel frown even more.
Daniel grimaced as he was ignored while the doctor did some checks and gave orders to the nurses.
Catching his friendâs eye finally, Daniel demanded, âJack, what did the doctor give Shaâre?â
Before anyone else could speak the woman on the bed suddenly let out a scream.
~
The world was black, it was warm, she knew her love was safe that he would find her child and care for him so had given herself to her end. Suddenly noise invaded the darkness and consciousness began to return to her. As the noises separated into voices, she heard one she knew but then the pain struck her. Unable to do anything else, she screamed and felt someone take her hand.
âShaâre?â
The voice was someone she knew, so familiar and she tried to focus.
âShaâre,â the voice came again, âCan you hear me, love? Shaâre?â There was a pause before the voice demanded, âWhatâs going on, Jack?â
Her head swam as voices became muffled and she floated in the blackness again for what felt like forever but also no time at all, before the pain hit her again, and she let out another cry, this time light filled her vision.
âIâm here,â the comforting voice came again, âIâm right here.â
As the light faded, figures started to form in her vision and she saw her husband at her side.
âDanâiel?â she cried.
A bright smile touched his face, and he kissed her hand, âIâm here.â
Relief filled her but as she turned to look around at where she was, Shaâre saw her large stomach and let out a cry of horror. Daniel caught her face, turning her to look at him and murmured soothingly to her, finally managing to calm her enough to focus on what he was saying.
âI know youâre confused,â Daniel told her, âBut youâre safe, youâre safe here with me.â
âThe baby?â she whispered.
Daniel nodded, âThe baby is mineâŠours and I know itâs terrifying that youâve woken to this, but you need to breathe just like I taught you and do what the doctor says.â
âI donât understand,â Shaâre shook her head, completely overwhelmed, scared, and confused.
Daniel rested his forehead against hers, âI will explain everything, I promise, but right now you need focus on having the baby. Our baby and I will be at your side for the whole thing.â
~
Jack was stunned, but relieved, that the serum had worked. Doc Evans had been a little unsure about giving Shaâre it, but he finally relented when Jack explained what Thor had told him.
He felt for Shaâre, waking up to find herself giving birth. Daniel had calmed her slightly, but he could see Evans watching the heart monitor worriedly. Jack shook himself and pulled the stone Thor had given him to call, sliding his thumb over it as he was instructed and feeling it warm slightly.
âGeneral,â Dr Evans called to him suddenly, âCan you help Mrs Jackson to sit forward.â
Jack walked over confused but gave Shaâre a smile as he moved to her side opposite the doctor.
âDr Jackson,â Evans said, âTo help Mrs Jackson through the birth, I want you to sit behind her and support her that way.â
Shaâre looked confused, but Jack smiled at her as Daniel removed his boots.
âHey,â he said softly, âI know this is weird but youâre safe and Danielâs been at your side since we found you. Heâs not going anywhere.â
Shaâre blinked at him, her eyes wet with tears but she nodded and gripped his hand during the contraction that hit her before letting him help her lean forward. Daniel climbed onto the bed and slid to sit behind her leaning against the pillows. Shaâre rested back against his chest and Jack saw her relax the moment she was in Danielâs arms. He glanced at the heart monitor seeing it had levelled out.
Daniel enfolded her in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.
Stepping back out of the room to give the couple a little time alone as the doctor confirmed that there was several hours left before the baby would make an appearance. With Shaâre awake it was better to let her have the baby naturally.
He wasnât surprised when light filled his vision, and he was suddenly onboard Thorâs ship.
âHey,â Jack grinned, âYouâre early. Baby isnât born yet.â
âI wished to check on the status of the mother,â Thor told him.
Jack grinned even broader, âShaâre is awake, confused, and terrified thatâs sheâs about to have a baby but Danielâs at her side keeping her calm.â
Thor nodded, âI am happy to hear that, OâNeill. I will remain in orbit until the birth then will check both mother and child to ensure their health.â
âGood,â Jack said before asking, âCan you send me back? I kinda want to be there for the birth.â
~
Daniel murmured how amazing Shaâre was, how much loved her, how wonderful she was doing as she gripped his hands tightly. Ten hours has passed since Shaâre had regained consciousness and finally the main event was about to happen.
âThatâs good,â Evans said, âWhen I tell you to push, I need you to push.â
âDanâiel!!!â
âIâm here,â he promised, âAnd youâve done this before, but this time Dr Evans is actually trained.â
Shaâre let out a scream as she pushed, breathing hard when the contraction finished.
âThe head is out,â Dr Evans told them, âOkay, Shaâre on the next contraction I need you to give one more big push.â
She nodded, unable to say anything else. The next contraction came far too soon, and she moaned as Daniel held her hands tighter.
âThis is it,â Dr Evans said, âOne more big push, Shaâre, and weâll be done.â
With all the energy she had left, Shaâre pushed, screaming as Daniel murmured encouragement as she squeezed his hands.
Finally, it was over, and she collapsed against her husband, turning slightly as a plaintive cry filled the room. They waited in silence for several moments, Shaâre exhausted in Danielâs arms.
âCongratulations,â Dr Evan said as he returned to the bed, carrying a bundle in a white blanket, âYou have a beautiful baby girl.â
âA girl?â Daniel breathed reverently.
Evans smiled and gently rested the child into Shaâreâs arms. Emotion overwhelmed her, and she began to cry as she looked down at the baby in her arms.
Daniel placed a soft kiss on her cheek as he hugged her close, helping her hold their daughter.
                            *********************************************
Shaâre was fast asleep, exhausted after several hours of labour. Evans assured them that all tests showed she was fine, and that proper sleep would help her recovery.
Recovery from having been dead for years, Jack shook his head, still amazed that the serum had worked.
Daniel was sitting across from Jack feeding his daughter. Although Shaâreâs body was making milk for her child, theyâd decided that letting her sleep was best for now, so the baby was drinking the formula that had been brought in for when she was born, since no one knew the mother would be there to feed her. His face was peaceful as he cradled the tiny bundle in his arm.
Light filled the room and Thor was suddenly in front of Jack as he was now onboard the Asgard ship once more.
âGreetings, OâNeill,â the small grey alien stated, âFrom my scans I believe the child has now been born.â
Jack grinned, âShaâre had a baby girl less than an hour ago.â
âThat is wonderful news,â Thor said, âWould I be permitted to scan the child and mother? There will be no danger to either.â
âLet me check with Daniel first,â Jack said, âI doubt itâll be a problem, but I want him to confirm.â
~
Daniel was completely overwhelmed as he held his daughter in his arms. He was instantly in love with her, she had her motherâs tanned skin and thick black curls with a little bow mouth Jack insisted was Danielâs. The fact Shaâre was fully alive was a miracle he couldnât have dreamed of, and he could look forward to the future now. His daughter had drunk almost a full bottle of milk before settling back to sleep in Danielâs arms.
He smiled as Jack reappeared after having been transported up to the Asgard ship.
âHey,â he greeted his friend, âEverything okay?â
âThor wants to scan both Shaâre and the little one to check theyâre okay,â Jack told him, âAre you happy to let him?â
Daniel knew he didnât need to give permission, but Jack was giving him agency in the decision.
âYes,â Daniel said, âIf it wasnât for him, Shaâre wouldnât beâŠshe wouldâŠâ he paused and looked down at his daughter, âI want him to confirm theyâre both fine.â
Jack pulled out the communication stone and rubbed his thumb across it letting Thor know he could come down.
Light filled the room and when it faded, Thor stood there.
âMay I see your daughter, Dr Jackson?â Thor asked.
Kneeling down Daniel pulled the blanket back, so the babyâs sweet face was clear for Thor to see.
âShe is a beautiful child,â Thor told Daniel, âI see a great deal of her mother in her.â
Daniel grinned, âI know.â
âMay I scan her?â Thor asked, âI promise it shall not harm your daughter, but will give me the information I require concerning her special DNA.â
Daniel nodded.
The baby shifted slightly as the beam covered her but settled quickly as Daniel hushed her gently. Jack smiled to see how quickly Daniel had taken to fatherhood especially knowing how Daniel believed he wouldnât be a good parent.
âThank you,â Thor said, âWhere is her mother?â
Daniel led Thor into the other room where Shaâre was still sleeping peacefully, the monitors surrounding her showing her vital signs.
âThor,â Daniel whispered as the small grey alien moved closer to the bed, âIs this for good? She wonât fade away or something like that now the baby is here?â
Thor scanned the sleeping woman before turning to Daniel, âThe serum that was created allowed the neural links within her brain to reintegrate and return to a viable state. As theorised, doing this during childbirth allowed the process to happen properly.â
âMeaning?â Jack asked.
Thor glanced at him before turning back to Daniel, âMeaning your wife will be able to live her life and raise the child, as well as any future children, as a normal human.â
âThank you,â Daniel breathed.
âI will return to my people now,â Thor told them, âI hope you do not mind if I return every so often to check on your daughterâs progress.â
âFor scientific purposes?â Daniel asked, âOr as Uncle Thor?â
The grey alien tilted his head, âI like the sound of Uncle Thor.â
With that he disappeared into a bright light.
~
âJack.â
Thrown out his thoughts, Jack looked over at his friend, âYeah?â
âDid you call Sam, Tealâc and General Hammond?â Daniel asked.
âI got Landry on that,â Jack told him, âThey should be here in a few hours.â
Daniel nodded, âBefore they get here, can you go to my house and pick up some things for the baby, and maybe get some things for Shaâre too? The infirmary has only the basics as I didnât expect to not get home before she was born.â
âOn one condition,â Jack stated.
Confused Daniel waited.
âGive me a cuddle of my new niece,â Jack demanded, taking the baby from her fatherâs arms, âUncle Jack wants to say hello.â
Daniel watched as Jack cooed to the little girl, he heard Shaâre murmur in her sleep and after checking she was alright, fixed the blanket around her, kissing her forehead.
Turning back to his friend, Daniel accepted his daughter back into his arms as Jack left them alone once more.
                            *********************************************
Shaâre woke slowly, aware of a strange tapping sound she blinked, and she saw the grey walls surrounding her. Turning to one side, she smiled as she saw Daniel sitting beside her. He was at a table, reading something at his side and then pressing buttons on the device in front of him.
âDanâiel,â she said softly.
He looked round at her, and a bright smile touched his lips, âHey,â he moved to her side, âYouâre awake again.â
âHow long have I slept?â she asked.
Danielâs fingers gently stroked through her hair, âAlmost a full day.â
She stared at him as her memory filtered through the fog of sleep, âThe baby? Was that real?â
Daniel smiled and nodded, âSheâs in a crib on your other side, fast asleep.â
Shaâre turned and looked at the baby girl, under a white blanket sleeping peacefully, her small bow mouth moving as though she was eating.
âIf I have been asleep,â Shaâre gasped in worry, âHow was she fed?â
Daniel squeezed her hand, âWe used milk that is made for babies whose mothers cannot feed them from their breast, I thought it was better for you to rest.â
âHow am I here?â Shaâre breathed, âI remember Ammonet hurting you, I told you about the boy and thenâŠâ she closed her eyes, âI was dead.â
âYou were,â Daniel said softly, âAnd itâs been,â he licked his lips, âOver five years since you died. A lot has happened to me, and I will tell you but not just now. Once youâre up to it.â
Shaâre stared at him as he processed his words, âFive years? YouâŠyouâŠâ she took a breath, âYou have someone?â
He shook his head, âItâs only ever been you.â
âHow did the baby come to be?â
Daniel quickly told her the story, holding her hand as she digested the information.
Finally, she turned to him, âWhat did you name her?â
âI havenât,â Daniel told her, âBecause weâre naming her together. I know this is strange and not what either of us expected, but I love you the same as I always have, and I hope that you still love me.â
Shaâre rested her hand on his cheek, âI have never loved anyone else.â
Smiling Daniel brushed his lips to hers in a soft kiss, Shaâreâs arms wrapped around him and kissed him passionately. When they parted, Daniel slid onto the bed to sit at her side and wrapped his arms around her.
âWe still need a name for our little girl,â Daniel murmured softly.
Shaâre cuddled close to her husband happily, sheâd thought sheâd never get this feeling ever again.
âWhat about Claire, after your mother?â she suggested.
Daniel smiled, âI love that. Claire Jackson.â
âSince Jack has a part in her creation, perhaps we should add a name in honour of him?â Shaâre noted, before asking, âWould he be happy for us to use his sonâs name?â
âThat would be nice if we give her the middle name Charlie,â Daniel said,
Shaâre nodded, âI like that name, Claire Charlie Jackson.â
She let out a sigh, the warmth of her husbandâs body against hers meant her eyes began to close again. Danielâs lips brushed her forehead, and she slipped asleep once more.
~
Daniel had decided not to move in case he woke Shaâre and instead just enjoyed having his wife in his arms once more. It had been so many years since theyâd been together, so much pain and grief which somehow all disappeared as his wife snuggled close to him while their daughter slept in the crib on the other side of the bed.
After about an hour, Daniel heard a soft mewling coming from Claireâs crib and a few seconds later she began to cry in earnest. Sliding out from beneath Shaâre, he gently lifted his daughter into his arms.
âItâs okay,â he soothed, âDaddyâs here.â
âShe is hungry,â Shaâreâs voice made him turn to see her pushing herself to sit up, âGive her to me and I shall feed her.â
Daniel nodded and rested Claire in her motherâs arms, he watched as Shaâre guided Claireâs mouth to her nipple. She frowned as the little girl didnât do anything before relief covered her face when Claire latched on.
While Shaâre fed Claire, Daniel slipped out to talk to the doctor to find out when he was going to get to take his girls home, and to get Shaâre some dinner herself.
~
Jack watched his friend change his daughterâs diaper before sliding on a pancake yellow Babygro, wrapping her in a blanket and resting her once more in his wifeâs arms.
Shaâre, now that she was rested, looked radiant as she cuddled her little girl who was sleeping happily in her motherâs arms.
âBefore the others get here,â Daniel said, taking a seat by Shaâreâs side, âWe wanted to ask you something.â
Jack looked at them surprised, âYou know if this is about babysitting alreadyâŠâ
Daniel chuckled, âItâs not.â He glanced at Shaâre who nodded at him to continue, âWeâve decided to call the baby Claire, after my mom but we wanted to give her a middle name too, connected to you.â
âReally?â delight filled Jackâs voice.
Daniel licked his lips nervously, âWe thought Claire Charlie Jackson was appropriate. If you agree?â
Jack stared at his friend, frozen for a minute as Danielâs question sank in slowly.
âAre you happy with her name, OâNeill?â Shaâre asked softly, âWe wanted to acknowledge that she is only here because of you.â
Moving to her side, Jack looked down at Claire and rested his hand on the babyâs head.
âItâs the perfect name for my niece,â Jack told them, impulsively leaning over to press a kiss on Shaâreâs hair, âI am so honoured that you chose it.â
Daniel smiled, accepting the hug his friend gave him, as Jack squeezed him tightly unable to say exactly what he was feeling but knowing Daniel would understand.
As he released his friend, the room was suddenly full as Sam, Tealâc and General Hammond walked in. All had been warned about Shaâre so there were no gasps of surprise at her being awake, instead they all moved to greet the new members of their family.
                            *********************************************
Daniel drew up to the house heâd bought a few months after his return from ascension. Shaâre sat at his side, sheâd been quiet most of the journey as she took in the new world she was going to be living in, while Claire was fast asleep in her car seat in the back.
Claire was now a week old, and the doctors had finally agreed to release both her and Shaâre from the infirmary, after a barrage of tests to confirm what Thor had told them. Getting out the car, Daniel helped Shaâre release the seatbelt before helping her out the car. He released Claire from her car seat, passing their daughter to Shaâre who gently hushed Claire as she fussed at being moved. Daniel opened the front door allowing Shaâre into their new home before he returned to the car to collect the bags and the presents that theyâd received from the SGC personnel.
Dropping the bags in the living room, Daniel drew Shaâre into the nursery where she rested Claire in her crib.
Wrapping his arm around his wife, Daniel smiled to finally be home with his family. Shaâre leaned against him with a contented sigh.
âWelcome home,â Daniel murmured to her.
Turning Shaâre wrapped her arms around his neck as Daniel slid his arms around her waist pulling her close.
Resting his forehead against Shaâreâs, Daniel sighed, âYou have no idea how much I have missed you and I am so happy to have you home with me.â
âAnd I am so happy to be here, my Danâiel,â Shaâre smiled, accepting his soft kiss before they both frowned as Claire began to cry.
âI will feed her while you put away everything we brought home,â Shaâre kissed her husband quickly before turning her attention to their daughter demanding her lunch.
Daniel headed out the room, pausing to see Shaâre unbutton herself to feed Claire and sit in the rocking chair Jack insisted that he get for the nursery. It was surreal to have them here, but Daniel would never take for granted the amazing miracle he had been given.
#fic#stargate sg1#daniel jackson#jack o'neill#sha're#alternate universe#alternate season 9#friendship#family#light angst#pregnancy
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to be fair, I donât think anyone said writing about cops in itself is wrong, HOW a character is portrayed in the source material(or written about in fics) matters, Jim Hopper is a good example - heâs the least cop cop out there. He also breaks the law all the damn time. But itâs the sexualization of police and what they do is. Modern day police has its origins in slave patrol, thereâs nothing ânot deepâ about that. As a black person who grew up in a black neighborhood in Brooklyn and have had less than pleasant interactions with police for doing something as simple as standing around, and have family members unfairly in the system, I take issue with this.
Idk about AUs but the topic Iâve seen come up is around Joe Kerryâs upcoming character who I believe is a cop in the south, whoâs religous(father is a priest), and comes from a conservative background. We donât know anything about what heâs like and some black people/poc are rightfully voicing their hesitance around white people being extremely exciting to write about him and sexualize what he does, with a lot of backlash from white writers. I personally donât feel safe as a black stranger things/Joe Keery fandom member to voice my view on this not on anon bc I see how the white writers have reacted. But Itâs completely fair for poc, esp black fandom members, to feel a certain way or hesitation around it and for white people to consider the implications.
Excellent points, but not quite what I was referring to. My statements are directed towards those speaking on behalf of the POC and black people when they are not involved in those communities to frown upon Cop!AUs when the most they know and have been involved with about police brutalization is what they might see on tiktok and hear from individuals not adversely affected by it. Yes, it is correctly a negative connotation to them but to equate fucking some character in a cop car or being seduced by a character turned copâwho has not been written to have brutalized or done anything fucking wrong btwâfor an AU to black people being brutalized by cops and POC facing harassment and discrimination by cops in REAL LIFE is not the hill white people want to die on. If this should be the case every single character with a position of authority that they admire should not be so. This is not only ignorant and offensive, it is very damaging white savior behavior. They wreck an area they're not staying in and we'll have to clean up their mess.
As for Gator, I have already said my piece on him. I'm not writing for him (probably won't actually just because I probably won't have motivation) until I watch the show to confirm he's not racist. Once we get confirmation, I'm fine with it. it's the same thing as any other character, until we see them on screenâthey all can potentially be racist. It sucks, that's the struggle we face (because I actually was starting to like Billy and felt like i understood him until they revealed that he was racist last minute, that's the shit we're put through) and I think it's stupid because we don't need to be traumatized in fictional shit since it's so often displayed on our tv screens in the form of news reporting on what we face in REAL LIFE, if we're not already going through it ourselvesâwhich, unlucky me, I have and am.
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i wanna be objective about this because i do think hp fanon is a wonderful case study considering how old it is and how rich it is and how many people who grew up there are still actively participating in fandom... but iâm caught between that and feeling pretty sore about the whole thing.Â
i am on the side of us collectively speaking out against her transphobia but itâs important to note that it was heralded by her other unsavoury behaviour and similarly, iâm amongst the ranks of fans who tried to bring that stuff into the conversation many, many years before we got to this point.Â
asian fans spoke out against the tokenism of cho chang and the patil sisters. gay people questioned the convenience of her announcement re: dumbledoreâs sexuality. when jewish people said plainly that having the bankers of the hp world be actual goblins was a disturbing parallel to how jews are portrayed in antisemitic propaganda, they were told that actually jkr had based the persecution of âmuggle bornsâ by the âpurebloodâ authority on nazi germany so shouldnât they be grateful for that and furthermore wasnât that reading a bit too much into the whole thing?Â
thereâs always been that fan who loves the thing just as much as everyone else, enough to point out the people that the thing and the fandom around the thing is attacking or leaving behind and that fan is almost always shouted down or here on tumblr or vagued about disparagingly etc. now, iâve chosen to curate my internet feed/s enough so that i never have to see a potterhead publicly potterheading in my space, but what i do still encounter a lot from allies is âman i canât believe the woman who wrote the progressive and beloved harry potter series turned out to be a TERF :(âÂ
i could go on about how TERF-ism and white supremacy are linked but this post isnât about that. this post is about how the signs were definitely there. i donât think i couldâve predicted what a massive fucking transphobe JKR turned out to be but in retrospect, considering her borderline-to-outright racism and antisemitism (and likely other -isms) and her reactions to even general criticisms of her work like... i definitely think the fandom being similarly unwilling to hear such criticisms has resulted in a lot of the incredulousness around her recent coming-out as being a powerful member of the far right celebrity elite. itâs a coming-out because sheâs likely held these positions for a long time, sheâs just comfortable stating them out in the open now because the far-right has identified and is marketing trans people, specifically transwomen, as a scapegoat for all of societyâs current problems, same as it ever was.Â
people and fans of hp were pointing out those early signs as they occurred but here we are anyway. it still happens. youâre entitled to have your gut-feeling about someone who is being critical about a thing you love (which is usually a thing that they also love) but later when youâve calmed down think about where that gut feeling actually comes from.Â
i donât want to point out this ongoing problem without providing any solutions to it but this is partially just me venting about what it is like being a racialized fan. it still fucking sucks. even when the tide finally starts to turn itâs like, k, but i left and/or was pushed out of this fandom 10 years ago because even when iâm not being vagued about or treated like a thorn in someoneâs side, whenever we are moralizing content and fandom, itâs done in the most shallow of ways, still.Â
#this isn't abt silly lil hcs or fanwork or whatever#it's about wanting to politicize fandom as some sort of tactic to legitimize blorboism and whatnot#but not TOO much and not too loudly and not in the wrong way or else you're a mean brown person >:(#anyway#sorry for this#jkr#/vent#fandom fandom#current events#transphobia#antisemitism#racism#ask to tag
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I was going to write about why I think Foolish One and Haunted are about the same situation as Forever & Always and Last Kiss, so I looked through some old interviews about Taylor and Joe Jonas and Taylor and John Mayer and got sidetracked and horrified.
First, I knew they worked together on Half of My Heart but I found out he reached out to her through twitter, saying he wants to collaborate with her (and she said in an Elle interview that she was so excited because she had always been a big fan).
It made me think about Billie Eilish and that old weirdo she dated this year (I can't bother to look up his name, he's in a band). Most people weren't too happy about this age-gap (thank god), and Billie tried to defend her relationship by saying that she was the one to make the first move. But the thing is that in these kind of relationships the victim's gonna say they were the one in control, but it's never actually true. The other person is always the one with the power.
Now I don't know if JM had any other intentions when he tweeted it. I do know they performed together in May on Fearless Tour and, I've seen this performance, she had intentions. I keep thinking about that and I Can See You and "if you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous" and it's horrifying because even if he didn't have any bad intentiond at first (I don't think so. Why didn't he reach out privately? Why did he have to make it a public event?), he knew exactly what he was doing not breaking things off the moment he realized she has a crush on him.
They were rumoured be dating from January - February. They performed together in December and I think by that time they were "offical" or very very close to that. I've tried to look up some articles about their split and I found two things
1. From February 6th, from a website called Stylecaster: John Mayer & Taylor Swift dating? Just watch what you say John, you don't want to turn into Joe Jonas.
The difference between this and the reaction to Billie and Old Weirdo is giving me so much faith in humanity because we're definitely progressing. How the hell do you look at a relationship between a 32 years old and a 19 years old and tell the adult man to watch out??
2. I did find a single blog? website? That posted something in February 5th, 2010. The author of the article talked about how JM boasted about hooking up with Taylor (which he actually did, by the way. Disgusting creep): "I totally believe this happened. I think Swifty is a sweet girl with a horrible taste in men...perhaps that's why she thinks John Mayer is "cool" or "hot" and "not King of the Douches"...my opinion: Mayer is a manipulative psychopath.
So many people responded at that time that Taylor is an adult who can make her own choices and as someone who's around the same age as her, she definitely wasn't.
Andrea never approved of the relationship, we all know that. She actually pulled him aside and told him to back off her daughter. I'm glad Taylor's parents were defensive and supportive of her.
In some Playboy interview in February 2010 he talked about his sex life with Jessica Simpson. Her dad was rightlfully upset with him and in 2021 Simpson said she was embrassed by his interview (who wouldn't be?). He's made a lot of weird comments in January-February (like his dick being a white supremacist. What the fuck?) I can't imagine being the person dating a creep like him. How lonely and confusing it must have been.
I read somewhwre he and Simpson (who were on and off for years) offically ended things in 2010. He Taylor broke up sometimes in 2010, probably before June when she wrote The Story of Us. In 2011 he was seen with Miley Cyrus who was then 18.
Everything I've read about him this last hour makes me loathe him and wish him the absolute worse.
yeah, he sucks for many reasons... his actions speak for themselves tbh, i have nothing to add lmao
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I love book asks đâ€ïž
1. book youâve reread the most times?
8. what is the first book you remember reading yourself?
14 do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?
19. most disliked popular books?
i love book asks too <3 thank you!
1. book youâve reread the most times?
oof, that's a hard one. I'm not much of a rereader. The Erast Fandorin series, the Judge Dee mysteries, and some Agatha Christie novels, esp Poirot, are comfort reads that I've reread a few times but I couldn't say how many or which were more frequent.
8. what is the first book you remember reading yourself?
When I was 6 or so I had a book of fairytales of different cultures that was way too hard to read for me at that age but which had captivating illustrations, so I powered through the illustrated fairytales.
14 do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?
obligatorily.
19. most disliked popular books?
đ± not the spicy ask! i have far too many grievances to list efficiently, so i will speak in generalities (which will probably hint at the authors i dislike anyway).
a lot of contemporary science fiction/fantasy fails to leave me with that sense of wonder i get from LOTR or witcher or, like, master and margarita, blood meridian, murakami, and a lot of straight up non-fantasy works. it's most acute in that thin but overwhelmingly inane slice of the market that likes DnD-lite "hard magic" bs - it's giving excel sheet - which i think is characteristic of the overall malaise in contemporary SFF, where most of the genre engages with the possibilities offered by SFF worldbuilding only in a very superficial sense, and so the feel of these books is very mundane. a lot of stuff, esp debuts, also feels rushed and underbaked, and that plus all of the above has more to do with publishing economics than people's intelligence, effort, talent, etc, but still - it sucks enough that i'm very hesitant to pick up a new SFF author these days because i usually end up DNFing or wishing I'd DNFed.
a lot of litfic is milquetoast and at the same time so alien in its dilemmas and concerns to any person who has remotely real problems that, uh, it feels more fantastical than fantasy. and that again has to do with book economics and the customer for litfic, who are nice upper middle class women who unironically identify with the protagonist of beautiful world, where are you. but like, one day i found myself nodding along to alex perez's hobart interview, and that's when i knew something was wrong (possibly with me).
finally, i don't hate the Usual Suspects, your pynchons, dostoyevskys, camuses and the rest of them beloved by the 18-25 american white male crowd, but the discourse around them is 50% trad propaganda and 50% tankie propaganda. reading all the people on the times best novels list doesn't make you smart, or even educated.
thanks for coming to my tedtalk!
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Ok so update at about 11 chapters into this 63 something chapter long book (not as long as you think these chapters are pointlessly short but too long for this concept boy can I tell you)
Taking a break to write down some of my thoughts somewhere other than my notes document but to summarize my biggest gripe with this book and also summarize the plot our main character Skylenna (almost every character has some made-up fantasy name and I think Skylenna is more stupid sounding than the time we committed the same crimes as a kid and came up with "Raviella" as a name idea/hj) knowingly gets a job at a graphically violent and abusive psych ward
I thought from reading the synopsis that she was doing this so she could gather evidence of the abuses going on in there, like they were somehow being covered up. Instead, she's started working at this psych ward because her special empath ass is just so kind and smart that she'll reform it from inside despite being in nothing even hinting at a position of power to anyone except the patients.
She's such a good little empath that she gets a nonverbal person to speak to her and she's like yayy now they'll start taking me seriously here and let me make this place better!
And it's just. Yeah ok I hate this I hate everything about this how does this allegedly anti-psych media manage to be the most potent psych ward nurse propaganda I've seen in my goddamn life.
Also if you hate the brand of cis white feminism that thinks corsets are the sign of oppression and were literally killing helpless victorian women rather than just being like. bras. you're going to be even more uncomfortable with this book because it replaces the concept of corsets by having the government make every woman in the country have a mandatory eating disorder like literally anorexia or bulimia they are told to pick one and if they don't do this they're sent to the asylum. This is awkward and unrealistic to how nuanced societies work enough but it's emphasized how Horrible it is to be a woman in this society to a ridiculous amount that is actually so fucking uncomfortable.
The main character taking a fancy bath with oil in it and putting on lotion was described more vividly and as if it was more horrible than someone experience actual water torture and I have no fucking clue why but it is So Fucking Weird and unsettling to read.
I deliberately chose not to look up any of the criticism this book was getting because I want a genuine/unbiased first thoughts review on everything but when I learned about the book from the beginning of a review I didn't watch the youtuber mentioned she was linking to videos of a trans person talking about the transphobia in the book so I am really not going to be surprised if the author is terf adjacent somehow.
Oh and when she's empathing all over the place she describes the mentally ill people she's helping (all of which we've met so far are convicted murderers by the way) to animals and says it makes her feel like she's playing games with children when she communicates with nonverbal people.
The plural character hasn't even been introduced yet because everyone is too afraid to speak his name or go near his door and it's this big mystery on who this terrifying person is. The ableism of that aside it's so funny to me that so much mystery is supposed to surround this character considering the entire synopsis goes into detail about him so we know exactly who he is already.
I have a lot of thoughts on the structure and overall writing of the book (it all really sucks lmao!) but I don't feel like typing those up right now.
#ableism tw#psych ward tw#psychiatric abuse tw#eating disorder tw#ED tw#torture tw#ask to tag in case I missed anything that needs to be tagged here#I wonder how many words I've read of this now
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ALLLL of this... especially that last paragraph. Younger generations need to stop looking at older generations like they're the only ones making mistakes. When it comes to this shit (bigotry, etc), we ALL suck. We all have egregious levels of ignorance we're not even aware of yet.
That's what "ignorance" means.
Also, I want to add that there's nothing wrong with enjoying the consumption of these older pieces of media.
It doesn't always have to be a slog through a lesson in the history of good intentions gone wrong. Not all of these properties are just scene after scene of execrable douchery (with the exception of Birth of a Nation; that shit is just pure evil).
A lot of them are funny, poignant, tragic, suspenseful, enlightening.... There is prose so poetically written that it could be compared to the most sacred of texts. There are performances so beautiful that you remember them decades after having seen them only once. There are moments of comedy that transcend any time period, moments that speak so deeply to the human soul as to be enlightening... these things are enjoyable, should be enjoyed, were made to be enjoyed.
AND they weren't just living in the bliss of their ignorance. Many of them were full of scathing commentary, asking hard questions that aren't even being asked today. They pulled their weight in the name of progressiveness.
Were many of these portrayals still upsetting? Most assuredly. And they also had their own ways of undermining such derogatory and prejudiced social customs.
I've watched romantic comedies from the 30s and 40s where misogyny was front and center do a better job of calling out that misogyny than rom coms do when facing the same misogyny today. I've read Jane Austen, which is full of withering rebukes of the upper classes (let alone what her work said about sexism). I've watched caricaturized depictions of BIPOC who delivered hilarious one-liners and asides as commentary on white people and the racist ideals of society, saying things that were taboo in any other setting, much like the jesters did to kings of old.
These characters and the authors behind them spoke truth to power. And they did it while making you laugh, cry, and cheer for the heroes of the story.
I have yet to encounter a piece of media that is perfectly inclusive, diverse, politically progressive, and philosophically forward thinking. Such media does. not. exist. And it never will, because we are constantly evolving as a species.
Yeah, some of it doesn't age well. But you can find enjoyment in imperfection, even as you criticize it.
That's what art gives us. That's what it's for.
You gotta read and watch some old books and films that arenât 100% modern politically correct. Iâm not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, theyâre not actually promoting bigotry so much as âdidnât consider all the implications of somethingâ or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
Kill the censor in your head.
#media consumption#art#books#film#movies#social commentary#literature#historical literature#film history
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Lightbringer Book 2: The Blinding Knife by Brent Weeks
Series Warnings: SA, non-explicit smut, violence, slavery, sex slavery, classism (the main villain wants to put magic-users above non magic users), assassination attempts, body mutilation (someone loses fingers, the antagonists modify their bodies with magic), drug abuse, large age gaps (19 year old with ~60 ish year old, used as a political scheme), PTSD, identity theft, fratricide, ceremonial killings to prevent insanity, Politics, lots of creepy men, betrayal, cheating, torture, insanity
Book Warnings: SA, non-explicit smut, violence, slavery, sex slavery, classism (the main villain wants to put magic-users above non magic users), assassination attempts, body mutilation (the antagonists modify their bodies with magic), drug abuse, PTSD, identity theft, fratricide, Politics, lots of creepy men, betrayal, cheating, insanity
Notable POV Characters: Kip Guile, Gavin Guile, Dazen Guile, Aliviana 'Liv' Danavis, Adrasteia, Karris White Oak
Ahhh I'm so excited! The plot twists and cliffhangers keep getting better! And there's more characters that I hate with my whole being!
First of all, Andross Guile? Can suck my dick. I hate him and everything he stands for. He made his grandchild play him in a card game to keep his friend from becoming his slave. Same with Teia's old mistress. The bitch gave her olive oil as a reminder she could become a sex slave in a brothel?? They both need to die and they need to do it now.
Speaking of Teia though, there's a new color on the spectrum! Paryl is completely invisible to everyone except paryl drafters and maybe superchromats (people who have perfect color vision), idk I don't think it was ever really explained who can see it. It's below sub-red on the color spectrum, meaning in our normal world it would have really long wavelengths.
Most of this book surrounds Kip's Blackguard training, and oh my god I adore these kids so much. I just want them all to be happy forever but I know that's not possible.
While Kip does that, Young Gavin takes a bunch of refugees and places them on an island that already has people living there. I'm sure that won't cause any problems. Anyway, after he does that he kills Old Gavin! And gets raped because he thought it was his room slave 'attending' to him after being around Karris constantly for 4 months. And then he thought it was Karris. He like immediately feels disgusted when he learns not only was it neither of them, but it was one of his students and I'm pretty sure a minor (by our standards). He did kill her almost the moment he got back to his room after trying to explain what happened (and failing), but then it's like... never talked about again? And I really feel like it should have been. Male characters are almost never assaulted like this in fiction, much less one who has as much power as Young Gavin does. Maybe it gets talked about in a later book, since there is currently a war going on and he's desperately trying to get the Spectrum (government) to help. He could just be pushing it down at the moment to focus on stopping the thing that will literally destroy the world because there's also giant monsters and the villains are trying to resurrect old pagan gods to tear down the Chromeria.
But then he marries Karris (he does explain what happened there and that he's really Dazen)!! I'm gonna be horny on.. not main really but you get it and say that I really want to be in a sandwich between them. Like both of them are my ideal concept of a partner. Young Gavin is smart, incredibly charming, and doesn't shy away from pleasure, and Karris is such a fucking badass and I know she could 100% kill me in like 10 different ways just with her legs.
I know how I said in my last post the author does the male fantasy author thing where he sexualizes women a lot, and it genuinely didn't bother me. But in this book a lot of the women being targeted are either underage or just barely legal. And that makes me really uncomfortable. For the most part Kip is the one doing the sexualizing, which is again acceptable because he's 15. But in the case of other characters doing it it feels gross. And I know this is a fantasy world, and their definition of an adult isn't necessarily someone who's over the age of 18 especially because it's wartime, but I still don't like it.
But back to the positives, the cliffhanger!! Kip and Young Gavin are both kidnapped on ships by separate people! Young Gavin is now completely colorblind! Kip killed a god! Liv is still a bitch and I hate her!
#lightbringer#olive reads#tw slavery#tw sa#tw drugs#tw body modification#tw body mutilation#tw age gap#tw cheating
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The best book you've read so far in 2024:
I actually read quite a few 5-star books this year that loved and added to my "favorites" shelf, but I'm gonna have to say "The Talented Mr. Ripley" by Patricia Highsmith. Why? This book just influenced me a lot. I joined a new book club to read and discuss it; I rewatched the film and then the entire new Netflix series; I bought every other book in the series; and last but not least, I'm learning to speak Italian because of this book!
Best sequel you've read so far in 2024:
"Iron Flame" (Part 1 of 2 of the Dramatized Adaptation from Graphic Audio) by Rebecca Yarros. I'm still waiting for part 2 to drop to finish Iron Flame, but people had me scared this was going to suck, and they were lying, the same as they lied about The Fourth Wing being nothing but dragon porn. LIES! These books are not the erotica people claim them to be. And there's nothing wrong with erotica, but they are actually great political fantasies! I was in the military and I usually avoid anything military-related because it's very triggering for me, especially when those books or shows depict inaccurate portrayals. But as I understand this author is a military spouse, and she gets it. She gets this shit RIGHT and I'm loving this series.
New release you haven't read yet, but want to:
"Ghost Station" by S.A. Barnes. Even though reviewers say it's not up to snuff when compared to Dead Silence. I'm so bummed I didn't get an arc. I'm waiting for paperback so my books will match. Even better if the library gets a copy in, so I don't spend my money in case I hate it?
Most anticipated release for the second half of the year:
"Skyshade" by Alex Aster??? I mean, I am excited, but I don't think this will conclude the series! I think there are going to be 4 books, not 3, so if it's not wrapping it up and telling me whether Oro or Grim will be the one to keep Isla's heart, maybe that will put a damper on my excitement... I am also super excited for a new Erin A. Craig book this year with the release of "The Thirteenth Child." But here's the thing... I loved House of Salt and Sorrows, but I did not like "Small Favors" (too many religious trauma triggers). Then I DID really love House of "Roots and Ruin." I have gotten arcs of all her books up to now, but not "The Thirteenth Child." I kept checking NetGalley and it was never around, but I see it now. Now that my % is shit because I kept grabbing "read now" freebies. XD I may have destroyed my chance this time! But at least an arc saved me from buying "Small Favors."
Biggest disappointment:
This may be unfair, because I haven't finished, but Heather Walter's Snow White retelling, "The Crimson Crown." I loved "Malice." LOVED. "Misrule" pissed off everybody who read it. I gave it 5 stars and I was still pissed off. But this author is wearing thin with me. I have had an arc of "The Crimson Crown" for months and I don't think I'm even 20% through it yet. It's so TEDIOUS. Nothing is happening. Everything interesting happened off-page, between the prologue and the first chapter. I feel like I had the same complaint about "Misrule." I'm struggling and debating canceling my preorder of the B&N exclusive at this point in time. Maybe Heather Walter was just a one-hit-wonder for me?
Biggest surprise:
How much I fucking hated the entire "World of the Narrows" series by Adrienne Young. I sold off the four-book hardcover set with a special limited edition dust jacket on Mercari after plodding my tortured way through "Fable" and "Namesake" and DNFing "Saint." I didn't even try "The Last Legacy." I still have a signed copy of the paperback I can't unload for even $8. I might just take it to Half Price Books this weekend to purge it. I loved "Sky in the Deep" so much I made a "favorites" shelf on Goodreads just for it. "The Unmaking of June Farrow" was okay. I do like the author. But I cannot abide by a seafaring adventure, I've come to realize. There's literally nothing I hate more...apparently! lol
Favorite new author (debut or new-to-you):
Micaiah Johnson, who wrote "The Space Between Worlds." I'm obsessed. That book was a masterpiece. I'm buying anything this author publishes from here on out. It's already been decided.
Newest fictional crush:
The character Brendan Fraser narrates from "The Downloaded" by Robert J. Sawyer. I mean, REALLY my crush is on Brendan Fraser. His voice, first of all, but then his character falls in love with the trans character in that book, and....ahhhhhhh!!! That one melted my heart. Then broke it, but yeah. I bought everything else he narrates on Audible after that because withdrawal.
Newest favorite character:
Tom Ripley. For now. I need to read his other shenanigans before I decide whether he's the psychopath for me. (Come on, Joe Goldberg! It's been a year? two? since your last escapade. I'm dying here!)
Book that made you cry:
"Iron Flame." I'm only halfway through but when Xaden appears...yeah, that did it.
Book that made you happy:
This manga I got as a "read now" freebie from NetGalley: "Turns Out My Online Friend is My Real-Life Boss!" by Nmura. Gay otaku? GIMME!
Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year:
Possibly the Fortuna quartet from Fairyloot? I haven't read the series but I couldn't resist the books. I also think "The Scarlet Alchemist" is gorgeous, and I mean the regular off-the-shelf one cause that FL one is gross. I mean, it is a horror.
What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
I may not, but I WANT to finish "The Witcher" series. I love everything I've read so far but I am a mood reader and other things frequently strike my fancy. I can't help it.
Favorite book community member:
I LOVE Rodger's Reads from YouTube. He's my fave but there are so many others I love! Chris from Fictional Escapist, Tori Morrow, Books with Emily Fox...to name a few!
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Streamer!Eren headcanons
â„ AU: Modern!AU
â„ Genre: Fluff
â„ Rating: Anyone can read
â„ Pairings: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader
â„ Author Note: Ive been having the biggest brain rot about streamer!eren cause i just feel in my bones, it would be perfect for him so here are some head canons.
inspired by @sleepysnk
Eren would play any game that peaks his interest, but gets the most views when he plays any horror game, minecraft, or among us.
Its mainly due to how serious he gets when he rages over losing/dying or getting a jump scare.
"SON OF A BITCH! WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT ZOMBIE EVEN COME FROM?"
"Eren babe, not so loud."
"Sorry beautiful."
There are tons of video compilations dedicated to you walking in to shush him
His fans ADORE you
Most of them are baffled that Eren is in an interracial relationship but quickly grow used it after seeing your interactions
He often answers questions surrounding your relationship without invading what you want to keep private.
He would 100% let you sit in his lap whilst streaming
His views always rise when you are there, people just like seeing the adorable banter and romance
Everyone can tell how much he loves you
Literally he will visibly soften whenever you enter his line of view
Demands kisses whenever you enter or leave his "office"
If you ever miss a kiss, he will take a break from his stream and track you down
Plays with Jean, Connie, and Armin often
Plays with you too and gets super overprotective if anyone kills you in a game.
Once the entire gang played Among Us together and Eren went completely batshit after finding out Reiner and Bertholdt were the imposters that killed you.
The next round he is the imposter.
"And I took that personally."
He's oddly the scariest imposter.
For some reason, he becomes rational but manages to hide it well behind his usual hotheadness.
Still would never kill you tho <3
He would completely obliterate you in minecraft however
"eren stop I only have one heart left. you play too much."
"you didnt seem to mind playing when you hit me into lava... I lost all my fucking diamonds so you know what they say... hasta la vista baby"
Sucks at building but sucks at mining as well
usually fights mobs all night to stack up xp
says he's training to fight the dragon
swears he'll slay all creepers
deathly afraid of endermans
when they pop up, his screams are girly and loud
"HOLY SHIT. NO NO NO RUN YOU DAMN MIDGET! FUCKING MOVE!"
when he isn't fighting, he'll gather flowers for you and constantly leave them in places for you to find around your house
"Thanks for the flowers baby, yellow is still my favorite."
"I know princess."
he also puts gifts in your chests even though he sucks at mining, because you deserve the best.
Eren is pretty perverted and though he doesnt look at his stream chat often, whenever he sees any comments about your body or how lucky he is, all he does is grin knowingly and mumble "all mine."
HATES whenever people make it a big deal that you're black
addresses it once and swears if shit starts up again, he'll leave forever and never come back despite streaming being something he loves
will never tolerate racism or hearing stereotypes toward you EVER, even if its unintentional, pops off ever mfing time.
"Whether or not that's her real hair, it doesn't fucking concern you. Stop asking when you clearly look like you have uneven extensions, Brittany. Mind your fucking business."
"Baby chill, maybe she was just asking a honest questions."
"Nah fuck that. I don't give a damn, don't worry about whats in my baby's head."
You know those social media stars, who turn the cheek and allow people to say rude and hateful shit?
Yeah thats not Eren, he will always clap back harder and its beyond disrespectful.
"How are you gonna tell me to kill myself, when your bio literally says fly high mom? You must want me to pay her a visit or something."
"I'm too short? Well I think my height is just fine compared to your brother who seems to be just below six feet."
He has been cancelled TOO many times
its always for stupid shit
for being able to speak Japanese despite being a white man
for thinking pineapple on pizza is good
for liking Pepsi over coke
for pouring his milk in before his cereal
His COD lobby trash talk; while he doesn't say slurs or racist remarks, its too damn vulgar. He was built for that lobby đđ
His trash talking is elite and most times you can hear the person he is shit talking on the verge of crying. Its so fucking brutal.
In the same breath, he turn around and ask for kisses from you, as if he didn't make someone rethink being born.
That side only pops out when he is extremely pissed and he tries to avoid ever getting that mad because he knows words can hurt.
AN ADVOCATE FOR THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY
Gets super confused whenever someone asks what his thoughts on the community are.
"Love who you want, why the fuck should I worry about what some else gets off to?"
"If dicks makes you hard, cool. If pussy get you off, me too, lets be friends. Sexuality shouldn't matter people, grow tf up."
Donates a huge sum of the money he earns to different causes such as: cleaning up the polluted ocean charities, Black lives matter, protect Asian lives, and feed the hungry.
Basically he's caring and just wants to help despite his impulsive personality.
Once a month, he visits orphanages to talk to the kids, no camera no video nothing just to hang with the kids.
The only way his followers find out is because others posting about it.
Overall, Eren is in love with what he does and you, but if he had to pick, he'd choose you every single day over and over again <3
#streamer!eren#eren x black reader#eren yeager x black reader#tw: mentions of stereotyping#among us#attack on titan#eren jaeger#black reader#fem black reader#brain rot#eren is so cute#eren headcanons
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