#it sucked and was awful news but also objectively very funny

[mintbees]

friend started watching HLVRAI and later that night she got a call that her pasport has expired and she needs to buy a new one......his curse..........

[raviolirash]

I think people overindulged in analyzing the characters to the point of them being their projections and not the characters anymore. Like, yes, they are fantastic little guys, but it's usually not that deep. Stories like theirs are pretty common among D&D players. Maybe it's because I'm new to TheFandom™ world, but I've seen takes sooooo stretched that I wonder if we did play the same game.

Yes, there are some meaningful messages about grooming, hubris, trauma, manipulation and corrupting power, and that's great, but it's not a philosophy treatise.

It's a D&D game, a BG3 one: there will be Bhaal, bad guys (squiddy, in this case) and a party of adventures that will do funny things. And that's frankly ok. I'm more surprised on how Larian gave us a great freedom on choices, not just with the dialogues, but also with ambient interaction. Or the great effort that they've put in acting every single line and writing the description of every single item.

I'm happy that people felt seen and happy playing the game, but sometimes an interaction is just an interaction, no need to try to find a hidden message or a great meaning behind it.

I agree and disagree and here is a rant.

Tldr. It's healthy to write analysis and it's good to make your brain think and David Cage should have his fingers cut off. Also the "it's not that deep" crowd is incredibly annoying.

I don't think it's particularly good to have a "consume product, get excited for next product" mentality when it comes to media and just drift through life. I'm not saying that every piece of media deserves a deep analytical philosophical treatment as some of it is just horseshit, but it can be a very fun exercise to just think about things. Even thinking about why something sucks in detail is an exercise in clearly laying out your argument, which is a valuable skill to have. It's also okay to say "Hey. This thing is objectively terrible, but I nonetheless love it without any elaboration." That's me with Cube Zero. It is an awful movie, I love it so much! I think writing unironic deep thoughts about how the plot of the movie is actually deep and it is commentary on the prison system and capitalism is incredibly stupid.

However.

I think when we resort to mindlessly consuming content without giving much thought to it with a "it ain't that deep" mindset is when good writers get burnt out and we allow hack frauds such as David Cage to fester. And that is criminal to me. Because fuck that guy. We get a video game where a robot is forced to sit in the back of the bus in an incredibly poor analogy for racism, and people enable him and say that it's good writing and he announces a new game and we are in hell! Who keeps giving him money?

That being said. There are many times when writing actually means something and it's frustrating when people dismiss it as "lol silly dnd game". Some people do over-analyze it, yes. Some people say something incredibly insane like that woman with a 7 minute video about how Wyll is a cop with NPD. What the fuck was that. But here is the thing with writing: Unless you're Steven Moffat, words and actions in a story are almost always written to actually mean something. It's written to be important and it's healthy to think about it. In TV shows, yes: sometimes the curtains are just blue because the person decorating the film set just felt like blue curtains would look neat. It is an entirely different thing when explicitly pointed out in written form or said in dialogue.

I often think of that one interview with Harlan Ellison, where he discusses Ellen in IHNMAIMS. A reader of the book didn't know that Ellen was black. Harlan being Harlan, asked them what the fuck the reader was talking about as he literally wrote the line "…her ebony skin in the snow" in the goddamn book. The reader didn't forget that line! In fact, they thought that it was some unimportant metaphor and it wasn't that deep. So he pushed extra hard for Ellen to be black in the game adaptation because people were just that fucking stupid.

[alittledizzy]

I'm not a fan of dream's but it's so funny to see he went "after the surgery it won't be me in the mask all the time" then "don't say it's not me wearing the mask >:(". Like that dude is weird but weirdly hilarious.

tbh it is objectively hilarious.

i think the most important thing everyone should keep in mind about dream is just... dude is also figuring this out for the first time along with all the rest of us

there is this expectation (not from you, just from fandom in general) that he's either a 100% fuck up who makes awful decisions or he's 100% capable marketing genius who should not be questioned ever

but he's just like. a twenty three year old guy who until eight months ago hadn't left his house in four years. obviously rich thanks to his success over the pandemic. obviously intelligent enough to have built this career more or less by himself. but just because you stumble into a mix of the right content at the right time and the right audience finding it doesn't mean you're going to continue to make every right choice after.

i feel like fans of dream more than anyone else should get this? this man is like three chronic illnesses and a couple of neurodivergent diagnoses stacked together in a trenchcoat. he is relatable to a fault, but some people don't want to relate to him when it comes to the shitty aspects of adhd like time blindness and hyperfixation on a specific project. they also don't want to acknowledge what trauma can do to your passion for a specific topic. they don't want to face the human aspects of him because that's a stumbling block on the road to "dream is disappointing me personally so i'm basically now an anti"

he had a major project this year he was very excited about. for reasons outside of his control it never got off the ground. that sucks. like... i can't imagine spending months writing a 60k fic and someone else comes out with a similar fic and is hostile toward me over the idea of me posting mine. i'd sure as fuck be ready to step back from writing for a while.

and on the opposite site the people that idolize him and never want to hear a negative word about him or 'pop off, king' to every single thing he says don't want to understand that a healthy amount of criticism is not only good but needed for anyone. i've seen the same cycle in every fandom i've been in, like this is just 2018 dan and phil hiatus arguments with a new coat of paint, so i'm not even being specific to dream when i say toxic positivity and toxic negativity are equally exhausting to me. the reddit is a godsend when it comes to a place dream can, of his own volition and when he wants, visit to get a consensus of rational fandom opinion without the filter of people who are inclined to never disagree because they want a notice from him

anyway my tl;dr is i think more of fandom needs to look at dream and think 'what a weird but weirdly hilarious guy' rather than this urge to project everything they want him to be or want to be mad about onto him

[apple-pecan]

Crash Bandicoot (1996)

meet crash bandicoot. he crashes into crates and is a bandicoot. he says "whoa!" whenever he dies. he constantly makes a 😬 face. he has a smokin hot girlfriend for exactly one game. and he's now currently dead because activision owns him and it's a franchise that isnt call of duty or overwatch so it must die. but before that happened, a no name studio named naughty dog wanted to make a mascot for the then brand new playstation 1. and so begins our story.

this game is essentially donkey kong country but instead of moving to the right you're in a 3d space and you have to move forwards. and occasionally backwards if you wanna break all the crates or if you're being chased by a boulder. it works mostly okay but there's a few things that definitively diagnose this game with "first installment syndrome" without even needing a second opinion.

namely, breaking all the crates in a level is a colossal pain in the ass and didn't feel very thought out compared to the sequels. for those not in the know, breaking crates is an optional objective in every crash game where if you break every crate in a level, you get one gem. getting all the gems is the only way to get the true ending; think of the chaos emeralds from sonic except there are way more than 7.

in the first stage, if you know what you're doing, you can easily break every crate and get the first gem. but in the second stage, if you break every crate, it turns out that no you fucking didnt: you missed three you didnt even see! WHAT!!! turns out there are special colored gems you get from stages later in the game that can open up secret pathways that give you secret lives or more importantly, more crates to break. therefore it's impossible to break all the crates in level 2 at the start of the game; it's mandatory to backtrack.

compare this to it's sequel, crash 2: in the first section of the name (the first five levels and the ripper roo boss fight), if you're good at the game, you can get every single gem (barring 1) you're able to get before you even reach the first boss. the way it's laid out in crash 1 makes it feel awkward as you get a punishment screen at the end of the level where every crate you happened to miss falls on crash as they're tallied up. even if, you know, they're impossible to get to where you're currently at in the game.

believe it or not, this isnt the worst thing about getting gems. the first game has this absolutely fucking stupid rule that if you die in a level ONCE, you are locked out of getting the gem for that level until you play it again or restart. and some of these levels are extremely hard AND long. one tiny mistake, and kiss your gem goodbye!!!!! WHY!!!!!! simply put, don't try 100%ing this game unless you're a masochist; honestly the true ending sucks and is not even remotely worth the effort. it's not even canon anyways. fucking hell.

okay thats enough bitching about gems, lets talk about the good stuff. crash is funny. as mentioned before, crash says "whoa!" and it makes me lol. he also has a fun, looney tunes esque design and it's easy to see why he's so beloved. a lot of the stages are pretty fun with surprisingly understated music considering the toony art style. there's not much i'd listen to outside of the game, but it definitely suits the mood. the game feel is mostly good; to this day it's satisfying spinning into a bunch of crates and collecting all the wumpa fruit that drops out. the 1up sound feels very good when you finally get enough fruit to earn one. the jumping feels weird if you have to make precision platforming compared to it's sequels. wait how did that last one sneak in THAT'S NOT GOOD STUFF.

people bitch about the bridge levels, namely the one where you have to bounce off turtles to get to the other end of a fallen apart, decaying bridge, and yes it's fucking awful, but for my money "toxic waste" is even worse. this is where the perspective and camera angles make things way worse. it is a straight path where you must jump over rolling barrels while avoiding the acidy pit; not bad so far, but the second they introduce bouncing barrels the whole stage becomes shit and it hits the fan at light speed. with the camera angle you have, it's impossible to gauge where the bouncy barrels are in relation to you, and they dont even have shadows. i used up almost all of my lives on this horrible stage, and my reward is the next stage being the fucking turtle bridge level.

OOH OOH, also remember the castle level where you have to deal with weird patterned moving platforms for ten minutes with like 2 checkpoints in the whole fucking level? and the god damn darkness level where your mask now lights up the level for a limited time but if it runs out your basically fucked because the stage is pitch black??? oh and dont forget~ if you die even once in these levels you dont get a gem unless you restart and do a perfect run~

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... uh... despite all this though, the feeling you get when you actually beat once of these batshit levels is great. it's kinda like beating a boss in dark souls after being stuck on it for hours and you finally memorized it's pattern and deal the finishing blow. oh fuck. maybe crash bandicoot IS a dark souls game.

haha just kidding. despite how bullshit it is, crash 1 was still fun to finally beat. i first played the game in 2014 so i dont have childhood nostalgia for the series, and i still had fun. crash 1 is definitely the hardest in the original trilogy, a lot of it for bullshit reasons, but if you want a linear 3d platformer that mostly still holds up despite it's sometimes unfair difficulty, give it a shot or better yet, play the n.sane trilogy remake for modern consoles. in that version you dont get locked out of a gem for dying! unless it's a colored gem. you still have to beat those deathless. and also the jump arc was fucked up a bit so the platforming is even harder. and this is completely subjective but imo the sound design and art style isnt as good. eh, pick your poison.

7/10

NOTE: seriously. the n.sane trilogy removes the howie scream AND the lady and the tramp hyena laugh. what the actual h. whoa.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2022

Another pretty decent year for pop music ; a very slow one, with a lot of trash, but the good stuff was so good making a top 10 took me ages, unlike 2021 where it was way easier. Outside of the top 100, some incredible stuff dropped this year too, so yeah - even if the charts don't always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. Again, again. How was your 2022??

Still didn't catch covid but I did catch a very nasty cold a month ago. Still drawing and writing a lot, and also spending more and more time customising my clothes with dumb patches and embroidered messages and stuff.

I went to a LOT of concerts this year, and they were all fantastic for completely different reasons! I'm so glad I finally have the budget to do this without feeling guilty or cutting down some more vital stuff. So yeah. I went to see My Chemical Romance, The Soft Moon, Sigur Ros, Placebo and Enter Shikari. Before that the last concert I had attended was VNV Nation all the way back in 2019!

Speaking of which, let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2022 or in late 2021, and this is going to be pretty long.

Albums

I have to mention that I tried to get into Ghost this year. It's definitely not for me apart from a couple of songs, but also, Impera was pretty bad. Probably wasn't a good idea to start listening to these guys in their current era.

I also have to mention that I've been thoroughly disappointed by Mainstream Sellout, because I'm one of those weirdos who actually liked Tickets to my Downfall by Machine Gun Kelly. But yeah, the guy became self-aware, and that's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Awful. Emo Girl is unintentionally funny, though.

Not sure this counts as an "album" since it's an EP, and a five minutes-long one at that, but Snake Eyes by 100 Gecs made me even more excited for their new album in 2023.

Electric Callboy's Tekkno is dumb and funny in all the right ways and I'm glad they got so much positive attention out of it. That's trolling with actual effort and passion put into it and it's kind of a lost art form at this point. The music videos are amazing too.

Rakshak by Bloodywood is exactly the kind of thing Nu Metal needed to move forward and I love the fact that energy came from India, of all places. A lot of fresh ideas, generally interesting topics and politics ; I'm sold. This is great. More, please.

Muna by uh Muna didn't leave much of an impression on me at first but I kept thinking about it and I eventually came back to it to relisten to it several times later in the year. I'm not sure what it means. Probably something good, though. Maybe it will be one of my faves of the year in retrospect..? Also it's very gay, which never hurts.

I'm somewhat conflicted about Being Funny in a Foreign Language by The 1975. Objectively, it's probably their best album ; it's straightforward, it's very well produced, it has a couple of bangers. Subjectively, I'm not even sure I'd place it above Notes on a Conditional Form, which if you recall was a GIGANTIC MESS, just because the highs of this mess were stratospheric compared to the ones the new album has. Still really good, but I miss the chaos.

Death's Dynamic Shroud's Dark Life has SO MANY different ideas going in so many different directions it's kind of a miracle that the album stays so coherent. The colors and the textures are sometimes so complex and layered that just listening to them to try to pick them apart becomes a stim to me. Beautiful.

I only found this album last month but Dimensional Bleed by Holy Fawn is one of the best post rock things I've ever heard since Sigur Ros stopped releasing new music

Exister by The Soft Moon comes so close to being my album of the year. SO close. Among all the musicians trying to become the new Trent Reznor, this guy's the only credible candidate for me, just because he's not afraid to try really weird shit. When I saw him live in October, the last thing he played had a castanets solo over huge electronic beats. And it went hard as hell! I sincerely hope his future stuff will be even better. I'm sold.

But uh. Guys. I'm sorry.

I'm so predictable. Never Let Me Go, Placebo's comeback album, is my favorite album of the year. Of course, when one of my favorite bands ever decided to release new music after nearly ten years of nothing, I was thrilled, but also worried it would disappoint me. The first singles were amazing, but what if? What if the rest of the album wasn't as good? And yet, by the time it was over, I was trying to determine if it was my third or fourth fave album in their discography. Even now, I'd only put Meds and Sleeping With Ghosts above this one. It's distinctly them, but full of new and interesting ideas. I'm beyond happy things turned out so well.

Unelligible Songs

There's a TON of them! Because that year was very good! This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill.

Should I start with some Gecs? I feel like I should start with some Gecs. So here's Doritos and Fritos, Hey Big Man and Torture Me. You're welcome.

While we're at it, if you've never watched any of the recent Electric Callboy music videos, your day is about to get slightly better. I suggest Pump It and Spaceman. Also both are actually good songs on top of being funny.

I might have trashtalked Ghost's new album earlier but Spillways is like Poison 2.0. That's a compliment by the way

I've not always enjoyed what these guys made post-Hot Fuss, but Boy by the Killers should definitely have been a hit.

What I Want by Muna also has this "should have been a huge hit" aura. I'm feeling every line of this chorus in my bones. Best song about delayed adolescence for queer people

Are we making a list of songs that should have been hits? Let me add Metric with What feels like eternity, then

However, American Teenager by Ethel Cain might still have a slight chance of becoming a hit song in the future. I want to believe

Hey do you want some cringe. Cause here's Slaughterhouse by Motionless In White oops

JEZEBEEEEEEEEEEL IF YOU'RE THE HUNTER THEN I'M THE PREYYYYYY

At this point I'm pretty sure I've listened to Precious Hearts by The Birthday Massacre for about six hours over the course of 2022 but since I'm an old idiot who only listens to music through .mp3 files and doesn't use spotify I have no way to check

My very first contact with Bloodywood was Dana Dan, and what a first impression that was. Turn the subtitles on, by the way.

Go_A dropped an absolute banger called Kalyna at the very start of the Ukraine war and it might just be their best track so far.

I am legally obligated to mention The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance. Is it their best song? Hell no. Is it mixed like shit? Yes. Is it way to long? Absolutely. Do I enjoy it? Immensely. Also it had no music video and no promotion. What a power move

Nurture by Porter Robinson, which I mentioned last year as one of my favorite albums in a year full of incredible ones, was still one of my most listened-to albums of 2022, so it feels right to mention a song he released outside of any album this year (Everything Goes On).

Avantasia is back, with a..... an album I didn't like very much, oops, but damn, The Moonflower Society is one of their best songs ever. Long live ridiculous over-the-top power metal with super-serious poetry as lyrics.

Born Yesterday by Quadeca sounds like Sigur Ros trying to make a radio-friendly song, and it sounds absolutely immaculate. Also it's about someone who killed himself just before his birthday and his ghosts deeply regrets that decision

This is not the end by Gareth Emery might be standard EDM, but it's also genuinely comforting to hear these lyrics

I need to put a break here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post this thing. Are you still there? Ok good.

El Alma Que Te Trajo (Safety Trance ft. Arca). Send tweet

It's kind of funny that emo came back a couple of years ago through 8-o-8's and sad rappers with face tattoos. It's even funnier that I genuinely enjoyed some of their stuff. It's even-even funnier that some of them are straight-up doing pop punk stuff now. All of this to say that I love Girl Next Door by Lil Lotus

If you've followed anything in the metal scene this year you already know that Lorna Shore absolutely killed it in 2022. Hell yeah let's put some melodies in deathcore, I'm all for it. Anyway Sun//Eater is great

I should probably recommend some cool music that cool people like before I humiliate myself further by recommending more edgy shit, so this is the perfect time to say that Judgment Bolt, Neon Memories and Messe de E-102 are now permanently etched somewhere in my brain. Seriously please listen to Darklife by Death's Dynamic Shroud if you have the slightest, smallest interest in electronic music I beg you

Ok back to the cringe. Speaking of neons, here's Neon Grave by Dayseeker. I've never liked a song by these guys before so this was a bit of a surprise for me

Also I've listened to it again and again but I still want to cry every time I hear This is what you wanted by Placebo. Not sure why it's my absolute favorite track on an album full of fantastic tracks. Not sure what it says about me. Not sure I want to know

I think I mentioned an Enter Shikari concert. Not sure I can call myself a fan yet, but I spent an ungodly amount of hours listening to their old and new stuff in 2022. Turns out one of my favorite songs they ever made is one of the newest ones, The Void Stares Back. This is exactly the kind of surreal and borderline apocalyptic lyrics I need in my life. I even bought a t-shirt saying "I'm the child with the telescope eyes" at that concert oops

Oh Caroline is one of the best songs The 1975 ever made and, like all my fave songs from that band, it's deeply awkward and embarrassing. It's a guy begging his ex to come back and it gets humiliating. Perfection. Thank you

Just when you thought this list couldn't get worse I'm about to confess I love The Boy in the Black Dress by Yungblud. Can't get the image of a teenager trying to remove his nail polish with his teeth after a teacher told him he looked girly out of my head now. God I love narrative songs so much

We've reached the terminal velocity of musical cringe so here's sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon because OF FUCKING COURSE I love sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon. You must be new here. WE'RE DYING TO LIVE AND WE'RE LIVING TO DIIIIIIIIIIE

Also I'm not going to recommend too many the Soft Moon songs but Become the Lies is now a classic for me only six months after it came out, and I've been obsessed with Him (ft Fish Narc, who kills it as the evil twin of the narrator) to the point of making fanart of the mental amv I have for it. Might even upload it after finishing this post, I'm not sure.

Honorable Mentions

Tití me preguntó (Bad Bunny) - I swear I had this song playing in my brain for days and I'm not even sure I like it.

Jour meilleur (Orelsan) - I'm usually not the biggest fan of the guy, but this one is really nice.

As it was (Harry Styles) - Perfectly serviceable little pop tune.

Where are you now (Lost Frequencies) - A great earworm.

Enemy (Imagine Dragons) - Listen. It's bad. But I can't get over the fact that an overly-hated band made a song where the chorus literally screams "EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYY", it's so much fun to sing along with it

Shivers (Ed Sheeran) - Do I really like Ed Sheeran now. Is this my life. Is this what growing old feels like

Belly Dancer (Imanbek & BYOR) - I'm going to the gym now and this is on their playlist. It's completely brainless but it had a serious chance to end on my actual top ten at some point. I physically can't listen to it without at the very least tapping my foot on the floor.

One Right Now (Post Malone & The Weeknd) - This WAS on my list at some point but I ended up cutting it. Nobody seems to like this song, and I love it for all the wrong reasons. Namely, the fact that a duet between two male singers talking about someone cheating on them sounds like they cheated on each other. And I think that's unintentional comedy gold.

Bad habit (Steve Lacy) - The very last cut I had to make. It's a wonderful song, and I simply adore its vibe, but I tend to lose some interest after 2:20 for some reason. No idea why.

Pretty sure there's nobody still reading this post. Which might be good because there's one deeply humiliating pick on this top ten. Let's do this

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

10 - Santé (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #90

I still can't believe this idiot climbed his way out of depression and burnout just to tell every emergency worker to join a union. What a king. Legends only

Also I seriously considered putting it at the top of this list in very early 2022 if the year turned out to be mediocre. I never expected it to be placed so low in the end. That's a good thing, by the way

9 - Break my soul (Beyoncé)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

So uh. As far as I know there's still no music video for this one, which is kind of a power move in this day and age, not gonna lie. But yeah. You know me. Can't resist a eurodance diva. And Beyoncé as a eurodance diva is all I ever wanted and more. What the hell happened this year, music-wise, seriously

8 - J'la connais, pt. 1 (Emkal)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Okay, the autotune is a bit grating. Doesn't matter.

Look, I usually dislike this kind of songs and singers always talking about girls cheating on them and stuff. But no, this dude right there is singing about people telling him his girlfriend is going to cheat on him, and he basically tells them he trusts her more than them ("Cette fille, j'la connais, eh, mais toi, tu es qui ? On se connaît ?" ("I know that girl, eh - but you? who are you again?"). Very refreshing. Well played, sir.

7 - Thunder (Gabry Ponte)

US: Not on the list / FR: #59

BEHOLD. THERE IS NOW A GOOD SONG CALLED "THUNDER" ON THE CHARTS. AND IT'S COMPLETELY BRAINLESS.

So uh, this one also plays at the gym. It's just some very basic and very commercial EDM. For some reason, it kinda sounds like a pirate song to me, the kind of thing you'd drink to on an adventure or something like that. There's not a lot that can be said about it. The colors are especially trippy, though.

Does it look like I'm stalling for time? Uh, maybe I am.

Oh god, here comes the really embarrassing part.

6 - Bad habits (Ed Sheeran ft Bring Me The Horizon)

US: #13 / FR: #53

So uh. This was in my honorable mentions last year:

And it was slowly exiting the charts when this new version dropped all of a sudden in mid-February, with way more guitars and bombast, and of course Oli Sykes screaming his head out at the end. And it climbed up the charts all over again.

And since I'm a major sucker with no taste, of course I loved it.

Doesn't make up for the fact the lyrics are still very vague and Ed Sheeran is still Ed Sheeran, but clearly that wasn't enough to keep this version of the song off my list. It's enough to make me question my choices, though. Steve Lacy should probably be there instead.

Eh. Too late now.

5 - Numb Little Bug (Em Behold)

US: #32 / FR: Not on the list

I initially put this one higher ; I'm not tired of it or anything, it's just that I don't listen to it as often as some things above it. And it got popular through TikTok, too - I'd ask if the kids are okay, but we all know the answer to that question, I think. I can't get over how brutal these lyrics are for what's essentially a cute pop song. And yeah, that's a huge mood. Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Yes! Quite often actually! Glad we're all on the same page, at least. It's somewhat comforting.

Imagine how bleak and scary that song would be if it was more serious and less upbeat, though.

Oh. Oh shit.

4 - L'Enfer (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #46

Guess we don't have to imagine. Guess it already exists. Guess it's on the French year-end chart. And it's absolutely terrifying.

Look, I'm glad Stromae is back. I'm glad he feels better. But uh- yeah. This track is genuinely hard to listen to. I'm pretty sure it's objectively better than the three songs I placed above it, but yeah.

J'ai parfois eu des pensées suicidaires, et j'en suis peu fier (I've had suicidal thoughts at times and I'm not proud of it) On croit parfois que c'est la seule manière de les faire taire (Sometimes you think that's the only way to shut them up) Ces pensées qui me font vivre un enfer (These thoughts that make my life hell)

Yeah.

3 - About Damn Time (Lizzo)

US: #12 / FR: Not on the list

I had a hard time deciding where to rank this song between #3 and #2. Maybe I should say it's a tie. It changes day to day with my mood, really.

But yeah, thank you Lizzo for being a combo breaker in this short series of songs about addiction and depression and death! This one is impossible to resist. You hear it and you just have to move or tap your feet and smile. And-

I'm way too fine to be this stressed, yeah Oh, I'm not the girl I was or used to be, uh Bitch, I might be better

Favorite lyrics of the year? I don't know. Maybe. Amazing, in any case. Thank you for this gift, madam.

2 - That's What I Want (Lil Nas X)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaaaand back to the sadness. Well, not really. The song itself is pretty upbeat. In any case, you've probably seen that one coming from a mile away because of my 2021 Unelligible Songs list:

And yeah! It's elligible at last! I'm so, so happy. And I want Lil Nas X to find love and be happy too. Montero was gay as hell, Industry Baby was a victory lap, but this one? This one is the guy bearing his soul and you can feel it even through the impeccable production and pop sensibilities. Cry your heart out to this upbeat tune, my friend, it's gonna be okay. And we love you.

1 - Meet Me At Our Spot (The Anxiety)

US: #74 / FR: Not on the list

I think I've listened to this one more than any other song this year and yet I'm still not entirely sure why I love it so much, especially considering it took literal months to grow on me. I can't even describe its vibe. Is it melancholy? No, it's too happy. Is it happy then? No, it's too tired. But it has energy, too. Is it romantic? Not really. What is it?

One thing's for sure, whichever vibe it is, I got lost in it for hours, to the point of creating entire scenes set to it in my mind. Which led to drawings. Which led to me inventing characters completely disconnected from the song and writing a story where the initial scene I visualised is only a small one in the grand scheme of things.

There's magic in this song's vibe, and I've been on a quest to transcribe it, and I will probably fail. In the meantime, thank you for meeting me at this spot. It's been a wild ride. See you next year!

[oliviayamaoka]

The Roseville Murders (Chapter 2)

Hi, just wanted to say I adjusted the plot slightly and will go into more detail with the story next chapter! This was a bit experimental and I wanted to write the growing relationship / rivalry between Y/N and Danny. I also wanted to write Y/N as a girlboss and to be just as witty as Danny!

Anyways, please comment any ideas or suggestions you may wanna see in future chapters! I have this planned out but would love any ideas or stuff I can add into the story! Tysm for reading!

It rained softly outside as you took a seat at your workplace. The desk was a bit cluttered with your art, notes, junk, and your papers regarding your current investigation.

One of the drawings on your desk was a sketch of Ghostface’s mask, attached to it was a few notes regarding the origin of the mask. Did Ghostface care for the history of it, anyways? You already theorized he was a narcissist who took pride in his work. Perhaps, he admired Edward Munch and his infamous “The Scream” artwork? Or maybe he based his persona off of it? You weren’t too sure but you did research the distribution and the company that made the masks. It wasn’t a particular popular company but it only distributed to the USA, Canada, and Brazil.

Ghostface didn’t seem too caring when it came to where he stabbed victims. As long as there was a lot of blood and something only he could perceive as art. And maybe you too. You felt excited, you already had a three year timeline. Maybe, you could get ahold of other states and ask if there’s been similar killings. Maybe even Brazil and Canada? You had to pinpoint a location and see if you could find just one name, any name.

Three years. Three countries. A part of you doubted he was Brazilian. Maybe Canadian? You weren’t so sure, you were pretty sure he was American. Y/N would probably have to go to the library tommorow to do research and use the slowly growing internet. Your research was suddenly halted when you knocked your sketchbook over.

Our slid a page. You kneeled down to pick it up, holding it as you examined the dark sketch. On the paper was a sketch of claws? No, they also looked like tentacles. Ever since the incident, you had dreams of these tentacle claws grabbing you and pulling you away from life as you know it. It must’ve been a sign of trauma or maybe it represented what happened through the nightmares? You slid it back into your sketchbook, deciding not to dwell on it. It would only make your room feel more depressing.

Beside your sketchbook was your leather journal. Y/N wrote everything in there, for mental health reasons. You included the incident and what Jonathan did for you. Your previous therapist said journaling your thoughts helped the healing process. It worked but journaling about how you killed your abuser was hell.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when your phone rang. It was a chunky, black mobile phone you got about a week ago? Y/N reached for it and answered.

“Hello?” You answered, using your other hand to organize your desk.

“Hello?” A voice answered, it was a male by the sound of it.

“Hi, who’s this?” Y/N asked, paying no mind to the phone call as she started to put some of her stuff away. Art supplies.

“Who’s this?” He replied.

“Y/N L/N, am I who you’re trying to reach?” You asked, sitting back down.

“Ah, you’re no fun, detective.” He chuckled as you stopped, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. Who was this?

“My apologies but, this is my personal phone. Can I ask who gave you this number?” You questioned him.

“Why does it matter, gorgeous? I know it’s you now.” He responded.

“Please don’t call me that. And yes, I am indeed a detective but I’d feel more comfortable discussing anything with you on my work phone.” Y/N said sternly.

“Oh, yeah… Detective L/N, huh? Think you’re some sort of hotshot because you’re new? Where did you come from? Washington? Gonna take more than the feds to catch me.” He said to you.

You listened intently and stopped for a moment. Catch him? Must be a stupid prank. Although, not a funny one since he had your personal phone number. An eyebrow raised as you looked at your notes on Ghostface.

“You still haven’t told me your name. Let’s not be rude, yeah?” You responded, being a little more cocky since you were off-duty.

“Awe, don’t tell me you forgot my name. I’ll give you a hint… I’ve been quite famous lately. In fact, I think you’ve taken quite the interest in me, Y/N.” The man teased. It was 100% Danny.

“I asked for a name, not an alias.” You said.

“Maybe after dinner, hotshot.” Danny said to you as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“I’m not in Roseville to play games. Either verify you are who you claim to be or quit wasting my time.” Y/N spoke with a stern tone.

“My last victim had three stab wounds to the throat. It was going to be two but their scream wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. And they had a tattoo on their upper thigh. Bella Smith.” He said as you froze for a moment.

It was true. The latest murder victim was a middle-aged woman named Bella Smith who worked at a convenience store. She had multiple stab wounds but it was pretty much impossible to see she had three wounds on her throat just looking at photos of the crime scene.

“Okay and how did you get my number? I imagine the infamous Ghostface doesn’t have access to these types of things. How do I know this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank orchestrated by my coworkers?” You questioned.

“Honey, I am Roseville. Also sounds like you have experience with these kinds of things. You ever get humiliated like that?” Danny asked, grinning widely.

“No, it’s just a very logical conclusion. And why would you be talking to me anyways?” You asked him.

While you spoke to him, you quickly wrote down what he said and what he sounded like. You quickly speculated what his age may be, maybe 25?

“I keep tabs on the cops who are investigating my work and to be honest? They’re all stupid, it’s pathetic. Although, I noticed something about you. You come from one of the big cities, don’t you? You’re actually smart compared to those other pigs.” He said.

“Those pigs you speak of have tried their best in pursuing you. They have families too.” You responded.

“Really, huh? You’ve only been here three weeks? I think you should just trust me on this one because those other officers really don’t know what they’re doing. If you actually find out who I am, are they gonna give you credit? The newbie? A woman?” He asked.

“I don’t understand why gender is an issue. And why would they try to steal credit?” You questioned.

“They’re stuck in this shit hole city and I bet they could just really use a promotion right now. They want so badly to be the hero that arrests me… but first, they’ll let the freshly graduated detective do the work. It’s so easy to overshadow women in this world.” Danny said.

“Well, I don’t care. As long as you’re put behind bars.” Y/N responded.

“The bars at this station? I must say, your desk is quite cute. A bit plain but I like your style… interesting files too.” He mused.

“Huh?” You responded, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Your lil’ office at the station, I like it. This place has always been easy to break into. You noticed it too, didn’t you? Their security sucks and their morgue is just too damn small.” Danny said as you frantically looked around, shoving your shoes on.

“I’m going to call them right now and tell them you’re there. That was a stupid move on your part.” You said, practically yelling.

“So young and naive. I’ll be long gone.” He responded, chuckling as you hung up.

“Fuck, shit!” You said, quickly dialling the number to the police station.

You practically flung your door open, sprinting down the hallway and out through the front doors of the apartment complex after three flights of stairs. Your heart rate increased as you continued running down the sidewalk, feeling more frantic when there was no answer.

“Answer…!” You yelled, calling the emergency number.

“911, how can I help you?” A staticky voice answered as you continued running.

“I’m Detective Y/N L/N! Please inform the police station that there’s an intruder! He might be armed and dangerous! Do not touch anything since there may be forensic evidence!” You instructed.

“Oh—yes, right away, ma’am!” The dispatcher answered as you hung up, continuing to focus on your running towards the station.

Back at your apartment complex, there stood Danny with his own mobile phone. It couldn’t be traced back to him since it was stolen and he didn’t leave any DNA on it. If anything, it had the previous owners. Bella Smith. Your apartment complex had fire escape stairs outside your window. Easy enough, he thought. His outfit was black and had some stuff hanging off it. Strings? Ribbons? Danny was quite quick and extremely quiet when it came to climbing the set of stairs.

He reached your window, pulling it open gently and hoisting himself through, landing gently whilst kneeled down. For precaution, he had his knife gripped in one hand. This was purely for investigation and to see what you truly had on him. His head tilted curiously as he noticed your desk. Your art and notebook. His gloved hand reached out to your sketch of him.

Danny was truly impressed at how detailed and good it was. He read through your sticky notes and theories. Other than the fact he was blown away, he knew you were a threat since you successfully guessed his age range and height. Wait, his height? You did a careful examination of the footage he was in, looking at objects around him and his boots to correctly guess a height.

“What the fuck…?” Danny muttered as he looked at your notes.

The Scream by Edward Munch and a costume company? He skimmed over your notes and the psychological profile you built on him. He felt somewhat panicked since you were indeed no joke. His gaze averted towards your leather notebook. Eagerly, he grabbed it and opened it. Most of it was your thoughts and causes of your stress and anxiety. He stopped flipping through when he saw a darker page. It was dark because of the writing and how crumpled it seemed.

December 23rd, 1992

I was walking down an alleyway two weeks ago. It was cold so I had a jacket over my uniform. I suppose that’s why the man didn’t know I was an officer.

At first, I thought that he was going to try and rob me. It took me a while to realize that my money and belongings wasn’t what he was after. I suppose it would be appropriate to say that I was in shock for a moment. He never finished what he started. Despite being in shock, I was able to feel everything and the adrenaline only helped my rage.

Why? Why did this have to happen to me? After getting him off, I pulled my gun out and he stopped. I still remember the look on his face after I shot him. He was scared and pathetic, as he was in life. I don’t regret killing him. I never will. I just feel utterly violated. Never once have I been touched like that so violently. Is this what this fucked up world has come to? What if I didn’t have my gun and training?

He definitely did this to other women… he deserved to die. And I would do it all over again to him and to other men just like him. Of course, I had to call the police. They were going to charge me with manslaughter but they said that they would push this all under the rug, just as long as I never tell anybody. Did I contribute to corruption in the police force? This getting out would ruin everything. I don’t know but I do know that this was my gift.

Freedom was my gift for killing that man. It felt oddly exhilarating. I hope nobody remembers him, I hope his family know what kind of monster he was. Anyways, I’m being reassigned somewhere. They said they’ll give me my first investigation. In a smaller city.

Danny’s fingers trailed over the page. He felt angry and sad for you. That this happened to you. But, something arose in him when he kept re-reading that paragraph. You… enjoyed it? Behind the mask, he had a soft expression on his face. He imagined your beautiful face full of blood with you and your gun. He smiled gently as he kept the notebook.

He did indeed feel bad for you but he wasn’t satisfied with his limited knowledge of you. Danny decided to use this notebook of incriminating evidence to hold some leverage over you. Not only that but he figured he’d get to know you better if they had something interesting to talk to you about. Danny couldn’t help but grin when he thought about your journal entry and the sketches you made of him. So smart yet so naive.

Danny quickly took a look around your apartment to see all points of entry. He took a peak into your bedroom, it was neat and tidy. He seemed somewhat paranoid so quickly went back to your living room window, making his swift little escape. Not without taking some of your notes on him and your sketchbook.

About two hours later, you rubbed your eyes in frustration as another officer came to talk to you. There was a forensic team still investigating your little office space. Apparently, there was nobody here and your office seemed untouched. For about thirty minutes, you inspected any points of entry and tried to look for out of place shoe marks since it rained outside.

“Detective, are you certain it was the killer who called? We get prank calls a lot.” He said as you nodded.

“Yes, I’m certain. It was him, he knows I’m going to catch him soon.” You said as he nodded a bit.

“Okay, well, we’ll take it from here. Come early tommorow.” He said as you sighed.

“I will but please, don’t miss anything. I’m starting to think he was lying. It was him though.” You said as you turned, walking down the hallway towards the exit.

It seemed to be evening at this point and the rain stopped pouring. It was slightly humid but the city looked oddly beautiful when it was wet? You couldn’t stop thinking about your phone call with Ghostface earlier. Y/N already had some tech professionals try to track the number he called from and all of the information regarding the phone company. You’d have to wait two days at the latest for the results to come back.

As you walked through light puddles, you felt more and more tired. All the running and frantically searching for him was enough to just make you exhausted. It was all last-minute too. Y/N stopped dead in her tracks when she felt her mobile phone ring. You pulled it out of your pocket and answered it.

“Hello?” You asked, tired.

“Hey, gorgeous. Just wanted to apologize for my little deception trick earlier.” He responded as your eyes widened.

“Ghostface…” You responded, shocked that he had the courage to call you again.

“God, hearing that from you…” He said with a slight husk as you took a deep breath quietly to calm yourself.

“You know I’m close, don’t you?” You questioned him as he chuckled.

“Of course, I do… only these hands of mine can do wonders for you.” Danny said to you as you scoffed.

“You’re disgusting.” You say to him.

“Don’t lose your temper now, detective. There’s… things we should discuss.” He cooed.

“Things? Seriously?” You asked him, already tired of his bullshit.

“Yeah! Like, this lil’ notebook of yours! Really deep stuff… Victor Houston, was it? The serial rapist? Must’ve felt real good to put him down, didn’t it? Did it feel as good as you said it did in this thing?” He asked as you froze.

You probably let out a small whimper of shock as your hands trembled. Your heart pumped hard and fast. It was all you can hear as you felt your face heat out of pure embarrassment and shock. He… read your journal? This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good.

“W-What…?” You asked as he cackled.

“God, you’re so hot when you sound scared. Don’t be offended though, babe. You still sound real sexy in your cop tone.” He said as he continued.

“Yeah, I read all about the guy you killed. And how it was all covered up to accommodate you. Are you a star student or something? It’s hard covering up murders… or has it always been easy for you?” He asked.

“I-I, um… how did you get that…?” You asked him, trembling.

“You see, Y/N… we’re the same. You and I are too smart for Roseville. It’s just that I got the upper hand this time. While you rushed to the police station, I took a quick trip into your apartment.” He said as you let out a light gasp.

“Yeah, that’s right! I know where you live, I know where you’re from, and your number. I know who you truly are, Detective Y/N L/N.” Danny said mockingly.

“And what are you going to do with it?” You asked him.

“Always so straight to the point. I might give that annoying little journalist Jed Olsen. You’re trying to work with him, aren’t you? You mentioned in one of these notes… you also think he’s handsome.” He said as you covered your eyes.

You fought tears.

“Why? Why would you do this?” You ask.

“I should be asking you that. I’m a bit jealous you find someone like Olsen… attractive. He’s so boring, so normal, so… ugh, I hate talking about him. Still though, nice to know I have another fan besides him.” He said to you.

“Where are you going with this?!” You snapped as he chuckled darkly.

“I won’t tell anybody. Just as long as you halt your investigation for a while. I still want to have fun in Roseville here and well… get to know you.” He said.

“Go to hell.” You muttered.

“How original… so what’ll it be? I kinda need to know now since I’m also on a bit of a time crunch.” Danny asked you.

“W-What the fuck do you want me to do? Sit back and watch as you kill more innocent people?! I won’t let you.” You said with a venomous tone.

“What are you gonna do? Stop me behind bars?” He asked mockingly.

“Fuck you.” You said.

“I’m sure we will. But first, I just want you to sit back and not do anything stupid. We’ll see each other eventually. I’ll call you from another phone soon.” He said, hanging up.

You held your phone in disbelief and quickly made sure you had your gun. How the hell could you have been so dumb?! It was genius, leading you away from you apartment and finding such leverage against you purely out of luck. Your breath trembled as you walked back to your apartment, having your gun ready in your pocket as you did so.

[tendousthoughts]

How HQ Boys React to Someone Flirting With Their S/O

Character(s) included: Atsumu & Osamu

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Forcefully pinned to a wall [Atsumu], Hand forcefully around your waist [Atsumu]

Song of the day: Where Do I Go? by Lizzy McAlpine

A/N: Ah okay here is the new prompt. To kick it off we have "Grey hair both twins" requested by my sibling. Anyways this will be a Multipart series so request who you will want next! Thank you all for the love on my last series so hopefully you will like this one too. This one can be a bit heavy, being that this "flirting" can be very forceful as shown in the warnings. Please keep this in mind before you decided to "read more". If you wanna chat don't be scared, I like to think I am quite the kind person. ALSO- Please check out my cool moot @taeyamayang [i hope it is okay if I tag you..]

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Atsumu

Atsumu was always invited to parties and rarely went but today was different, today was celebration of their newest victory. So it would be weird not to bring his lover right..? Of course it would. Sadly you weren’t much of a social person. You looked amazing but Atsumu knew how much you hated compliments like that, it made you feel like that’s all you were good for. Like that was the only reason people stuck around. Which was why Atsumu normally complemented your intelligence, or amazing sense of imagination, or your strong sense of wrongdoing but not only that but so much more. He made you feel so loved in his arms. So maybe this once everything would go okay. It wasn’t like you could say no to going to such a big advent. It was important for Atsumu so it was important for you too.

When the night came up more anxiety hit, you weren’t one to party or anything so this was not something you were used to. You grabbed one of your more ‘fancy’ pieces of  clothing. The last time you wore it was years ago. It was a beautiful outfit so much that Atsumu claims when he saw it on you he fell in love. He just had to talk to you. He had heard so much about how you were so free and he loved that. He loved people who just rolled with it. Which was exactly what type of person you were. You were deep in love.

Atsumu walked out in this dark blue suit. God he looked so fucking hot. He had his hair styled back, he had a white shirt underneath the blue jacket. He was wearing a matching tie. “How is ma angel feeling?” he chuckled softly, meeting you in the mirror wrapping his arms around your waist burying his face in your neck. “ya smell so good.. yer perfume is so sweet.. I could eat you up,” he chuckled softly, his words muffled as kissing your neck as he held you.

“Baby that tickles,” you laughed softly, holding on to his arms. God, you felt safe in his arms. “I am good, how are you? You look amazing, hopefully nobody tries to steal you from me.” You laughed though to be honest you weren’t joking. He was all over the internet. He was the man of everyone’s dreams. Tall, handsome, funny, cute, strong, he was free and so much more.

“I am doing great, baby.. ah you know that wouldn’t happen, love,” he kissed you again. “Come baby let's go out to the front they are waiting,” he took your hand as you guys walked out to the front and was met with a limousine, “You guys are too extra,”  he muttered as he opened the door. There was Bokuto, Sakusa, Hinata, their partners and a few of their friends. “Where is the rest of the team?” He chuckled softly as he sat down gesturing to you to sit next to him which you did.

“Because we had to wait for you, they left already,” Sakusa muttered, sounding a bit pissed but his partner gently nuzzled him and he seemed to calm down in their arms.

“Ah I am sorry to all of you this was all my fault I took a bit longer then I should,” You smiled softly as they reassured you it was okay. As you arrived at the party the paparazzi was already waiting for the rest of the team to come out. The door opened and immediately the cameras started clicking which made you nervous. Atsumu’s warm arm wrapped around you as he kissed your head.

“Come on angel.. let's go have some fun then we can go home and cuddle,” he smiled softly as you shook your head. “I love you,” he whispered softly as he led you out. Cameras surrounding the others as they came out with their partners. You nuzzled into his side a bit more, gently he tightened his grip on you as you walked inside the large building. Loud noises surrounded you as he led you to the rest of the team. “Hey guys! This is ma angel!” he called out as they smiled a bit. A few laughs were heard. God he really was good at embarrassing you but to be honest you have only been dating like 3 months. You were at every game but still he acted like no one ever noticed you.

After an hour or so he offered to get everyone drinks, which everyone accepted and next thing you know Atsumu, Bokuto, Sakusa and Hinata were off grabbing the drinks while everyone else kinda stayed in a huddle. The music was too loud so you kinda moved to a corner waiting for him to return. Well in that moment someone decided to take their shot with you. Making their way over, you already noticed a few things. They seemed confident, a bit too confident. Flaunting to their friends about how some way they were going to get you. Some way he was going to make you fall in love at first sight. News flash.. you didn’t. Quite the opposite you wanted to leave as soon as you saw them approaching. “Hey Hun~ are you alone?” he questioned. Of course not. No one in their right mind would go to a party like this by themselves. Instead of answering you kept quiet. Which made them pursue you farther. “Awe don’t worry it is nothing to be embarrassed about~ I will keep you company.” They chuckled softly. Taking a step closer you were clearly uncomfortable.

“I am not alone.. I am with my boyfriend..” you muttered softly, your eyes glued to the ground, scared to even look up. You weren’t too good with things like this where they would push and push, to the point where you were forced to except. To the point where you would give your information just to be fucking left alone. You just wanted Atsumu to come back soon.

“Come on, give me some sugar. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know about us, eh? It will be our little secret. I can tell you're smart. So why not just hand over the phone number and maybe we can hang out soon? That sounds nice right..?” Their voice was annoying, it wasn’t calm or sweet like Atsumu’s. It was demanding and rough. He didn’t care what you wanted. He didn’t.. he was going to push till you gave it out. You just had to hold on a bit longer and maybe Atsumu would be able to save you from this terrible, awkward moment. You just had to wait a bit more.. just a bit longer. Before you could say anything his hand was already around your waist

“Please get off me,” you pushed him off. Which seemed not to be the right move because next thing you know you were forcefully pinned to a wall, his arms tightly around your waist.

Next thing you know he is off you and then shouting. “Who the fuck do you think you are touching ma angel?” There he was, Atsumu. Finally.. It felt like it took ages but now he was here. He punched the guy in the face and you immediately rushed to his side to try and calm him down. He gently wrapped his arms around you. There it was. That warm feeling only he could give you. That safe feeling. He wasn’t forcing you to hug him or anything. You felt safe in his arms. You held him close. “ya okay angel.. I am sorry I took so long,” he muttered as he gently kissed your head. “He didn’t hurt ya did he? I will kill him, don't worry, just tell me,” he whispered in your ear. The guy was still recovering from the hit.

“I am okay.. thanks to you,” you whispered softly as you held on tight. To be honest you were a bit scared, not that Atsumu was going to hurt you but that you couldn’t tell if Atsumu was kidding when he said that he would kill that guy. He sounded dead serious but you really wanted to think of it as a joke. All you wanted to do was walk away right now. You wanted to go back to the group and pretend none of that happend. But of course that could happen. Of course that couldn’t because someone really wanted to piss off Atsumu.

“You know it sucks that cutie is left with you, I mean you only punch someone when they aren’t looking at you.. are you that worried? It is funny, now come on cutie do you really wanna be with this guy? I have a bunch of money.. that's why you're with him right?” Of course not. You really loved him. But right now you could tell he was pissed and you didn’t know what to do to calm him down. He let go of you and next thing you know he wasn’t in your arms anymore but on the floor punching the guy, making a mess out of him. You wanted it to stop. It only took a minute max before Bokuto and a few other people were pulling Atsumu off what was left of the guy. He was covered in his own blood now. Atsumu just looked annoyed, he wanted to kill the guy, or that's what it seemed like, it really seemed like he wanted him dead right now.

“Atsumu what the fuck are were thinking you could have gotten pulled from the next match for that shit!” Sakusa scolded, “I understand that you are pissed at him but that shit isn’t what you pull! Look at him!” he pointed to the guy. “When were you going to stop if we didn’t pull you off huh?” He seemed upset. You on the other hand were still in shock.

Atsumu made his way over to you and stood in front of you unsure what to say to you. So you took the lead, “fuck Atsumu,” you muttered as you clung to him his arms wrapping around you next. “What in gods name were you thinking, Sakusa is right, you could very much be fucking kicked from the next few games.” You muttered softly in his chest.

“I wanted to make sure he would keep his mouth shut about you. He had no right talking about you as if you are just an object. He had no right touching you. So I gave him a taste of his own medicine. I touched him without him asking and frankly I don’t regret it. I would do it all over again and I wouldn’t mind being suspended from the game if that means you would be okay and that he wouldn’t be touching you ever again.” He muttered back. “I really love you and it pissed me off. I am sorry if you are disappointed with me but there is a fine line with me, and he crossed it. He pushed me to the edge, I wasn’t going to do much more than that one punch if he just shut his pretty little mouth. But of course he had to bring up the fact that yer be a better fit with him.. I couldn’t let that pass by. I just couldn’t lose you.. please forgive me angel..” he muttered. Clearly he was a bit drunk as his words slurred a bit. He seemed all over the place but it was okay. “I really just wanted to protect ya..” he chuckled a bit. He didn’t seem to regret doing it but maybe he seemed a bit upset because he worried you were upset with him, which you really weren't. To be honest it was quite the opposite. You were so happy he did that, otherwise you would probably still be in that ‘guys’ arms.

“‘Tsumu thank you.. if it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would be doing without you right now. You really saved me back there and not only that but you really make me lose my mind when I am around you. You really are the love of my life. So no, I am not disappointed or any of that shit, if anything I am worried about will happen to you now that you did that, I really don’t want you to get in trouble because you decided to help me get out of my mess… I am sorry that you were dragged into this baby.” you muttered as you kissed his head.  You weren’t lying when you said you were worried.

“Don’t worry about me angel, I will be okay. Okay? Don’t feel bad it was ma idea to attack the guy, none of that was yer fault. It is everything but your fault you wouldn’t have had to come if I hadn’t begged you too. If I didn’t go get the drinks and leave you by yourself you would have had to deal with him.. if he listened to you when you said no then everything would have been okay and everything would have gone much smoother. If he hadn’t made that remark he would not be in the state he is in. So angel none of what has happened was yer fault. Believe me okay, I really love you and I don’t want yer worrying about this. I will handle everything and keep you updated..”

You shook your head softly as you held him close, “I love you too babe.. I love you so fucking much.. thank you..” you whispered. You were a bit cold, and it must have been noticeable because Atsumu took off his jacket and placed it on you. “thanks..” you closed your eyes for a moment taking in his embrace.

In the end in a not so surprising amount of events Atsumu was benched for a little bit of time, for some reason he still claims it was worth it even though his teammates don’t. Which he almost threw a fit over, because they didn’t think that , ‘protecting his angel was worth not playing a few games’, though in reality they just meant that there were other ways that he could have gone about it but he decided to take the most violent approach. Which didn’t seem to work out in his favor. In the end the guy tried to press charges but after a bit decided to drop it. Nobody knows why but they think it had something to do with the lawyer or something. You and Atsumu were happy and that all that mattered. He was always there to protect you. He would never let that happen again. At night he held you closer than ever after that happened. He made sure you felt comfortable as he had one leg on top of you as the rest of his body was wrapped around yours. Which was surprisingly comfortable.

You just had one thing bugging you so you decided to address it. “Atsumu.. remember when that guy said that I was only with you because of your money.. I really hope you understand that he couldn’t be more wrong. I love you for so many things like your freeness, your ability to change, the way you can be so protective and loving at the same. Not only that but the stupid little things you do. Like the way you make stupid little jokes to lighten the mood. The way you call me when you are out and about just to make sure I am happy and am feeling okay, and if I am not how you make this cute little fucking dates to make me feel better. The way you remember small parts of a story that I tell you and will mention it at random times without even thinking.. The way even if something is not of your interest you take your time to learn it with me and listen to everything I tell you.. God you make me lose my mind but I really love you.. I really do..” you whispered breaking down into tears as he held you close.

“Angel.. it is okay.. you're always there for me. You make me feel special and you make me feel loved and for the first time in a while I find myself thinking I have finally one upped my brother. I have finally found someone who loves me for me and I really really love you. So don’t cry okay..? I never believed that guy. I know you love me and I hope you know I love more than just your body okay.. I love you so much so don’t ever.. ever think I don’t.” he held you to his chest. You gently shook your head. He was so good at making you happy. God he was just so fucking amazing. You really loved him and he really loved you too.

Osamu

Osamu always seemed to be favored, so naturally a lot of people asked him on dates, not only that but a lot of people did go on dates with him. But now you were dating him things slowed down. He stopped going on dates and naturally asked people to stop showing up when he was out with you. Well one thing for sure you are big now. You were Osamu’s lover. So of course people wanted you too now. You were everything everyone wanted, tied with the fact you were with Osamu and that just made you want more. This was a lot and to be honest you would have loved this before you met Osamu but now you kind of hoped all of that would stop. News flash it didn’t. Of course it didn’t, to be frank your opinion really matter to them, all that mattered was you were good looking enough to be with Osamu.

Your relationship was built on love and that’s all that mattered. You two really did love and trust each other. It was what your relationship was built on. It was what all relationships were built on. Your personalities went hand and hand. You loved going out and dancing. You loved midnight slurpees and driving on the freeway to nowhere, all windows down. You had to have the sunroof open and blasting music, singing on the top of your lungs. You loved the feeling. Osamu loved watching you feel so free, having so much fun with that amazing smile on your face. Who wouldn’t love that? You dragged Osamu to do cute things that nobody else would get. You loved dressing up, either in tight fitting clothing or loose fitted ones. It didn’t matter. You just loved the feeling. You felt invincible when you did that. You felt so free and you didn’t care if people judged you. Your opinion was the only one that mattered. You thought you looked amazing and that’s all that mattered to you. You loved dancing in the rain. Osamu didn’t mind at all. He loved to be with you and he was open to new things no matter how ridiculous it was. You guys jumped off a fucking plane one time together. Of course with a parachute but god you guys trusted each other that much.

This was the man you wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He was everything you ever wanted.. and now you had him as your partner and god that made you so happy. You were so happy. Your two year anniversary was soon and you knew you had to do something big. You got the whole day ready, you started off with just a movie. It was a romance movie, and you planned to ease into it. You didn’t wanna do anything too much. Something where you two could just be near each other. It might have sounded stupid, but that was all you really needed to be happy at the moment. You just felt so free when he was near you. You felt so fucking happy with him, and it was so hard to explain.

Then you had dinner together, you decided it would be best to have something more fancy. You wanted to show all your appreciation for all he had done for you. He stuck by your sides at your lowest moments and you didn’t know what else to say but thank you. You wanted to show how much you loved him, and to be frank, you weren’t too good at showing your affection. Everyone told you that. You knew it was true. You knew from your last relationships. You wanted this one to be different.. you couldn’t let him leave you, you couldn’t live without him now that you were dating him you felt safe, but never really comfortable. Too afraid to lose him, too afraid to fully let loose around him. You didn’t wanna scare him off. You really wanted to make this last.

Lastly, a nice walk.. right now they had a Christmas tree show. They were decorated.. Little did he know you actually had a tree in the show. It was in a park area and people just gotta have hot coco and relax and walk and see the trees. You decorated one just of you two and such. You tried your best to make it look nice but in the end you were just overwhelmed and wanting to give up. Atsumu reassured he would love it, and he was lucky to even have you so there was nothing to worry about anymore. Osamu loved you and that wouldn’t change over just some stupid tree. You have been good to him.. right?

When you met with him he was all dressed up. You two decided to wear matching scarfs and you were excited to see he went through with it. It was a warm dark burgundy color. With that he had a brown large coat and just classical dark brown shoes on. You were wearing A white turtleneck, a regular sized brown coat, black boots, and the signature burgundy scarf. Osamu looked so good in it, you two were matching more then you too though you would but you were quite glad. You slowly walked over, it took a moment before Osamu gestured for you to take his hand which you happily did, You never took the lead for that stuff. You always waited for him to ‘let you’ take his hand. Which might be stupid but it has been two years now and would it be weird to start now..? You didn’t wanna push your luck. You didn’t wanna ruin anything right now. Not when you were so happy.. Not when everything felt so nice. Not when everything seemed to be going good. You just had to hold on a bit longer. Just a bit longer.. maybe a bit would be forever but as long as everything stayed like this then you would be more than happy to continue as you did.

You guys arrived at the movie a bit later, You guys got one of the best seats in the whole theater but not only that but you also had the best person next to you in the entire world. Osamu. For most of the movie you guys exchanged loving glances and such. Your hands were cold as you interlocked with his. His fingertips were warm to the touch and not only that but holding his hand made you so happy. This date made you so happy. Just hanging out with him made you so happy. Sometimes it felt as if you couldn’t breathe and maybe that was a bad thing.. but god that tight pain in your chest made you feel so happy. You started to crave that feeling.

“The movie was great, baby.. Thanks for taking me to it.” He chuckled a bit, kissing your cheek as you two got up and started walking to dinner.

“Mhm of course love.. thanks for coming with me..” You muttered you were not too good with feelings so maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say at the moment but you didn’t mind.

“Ya of course, I am glad that you came out with me.” He whispered his grip tightening a bit as you walked with him. “I love you so much hun..” He muttered and in response you just smiled and shook your head. Osamu wasn’t one to throw around the word love. You learned that when you mentioned something about someone's appearance and saying you loved it. It started this stupid argument about how strong the world love meant. Osamu never liked it when you mentioned someone else and in the same sentence said the word love. He felt as if that word was and should only be used with people who are close to your heart, not just some random classmate or waiter. At first you didn’t understand but then Atsumu explained that Osamu’s last relationship ended because of cheating. He used to use the word love with everything but now only for you, and you alone.

After a few minutes you finally said something about it, “I love you too my darling..” you whispered in his ear as you held the door open for him. You moved to the side letting him go in first. You smiled a bit as you got moved next to him,  waiting for your turn to be seated. You luckily made a reservation, the place was packed with people, but of course it was. It always was, so now with Christmas coming up you weren’t surprised people were trying to get anything close to then. Soon enough you were seated and all you could focus on was Osamu, and his small beautiful smile. His perfectly calm face. His sweet tone. All that made you so happy. It always made you so happy. He glanced up from the menu chuckling a bit as he spoke, “Hun.. are you going to look at the food or me the whole time? I don’t want you going hungry,” he smiled a bit.

“Oh.. sorry,” you felt the warmth of the blood rush to your cheeks and tips of your ears. You didn’t think he had noticed, and since he did it was more embarrassing than you thought it was going to be. You glanced at the menu, you smiled a bit as you found what you wanted. Looking back up your eyes met with his and you immediately looked back down. “For someone who told me to look at the menu instead of the person of you then I would think you would do the same,” You smiled softly looking back up to find his ears and cheeks having hints of pink.

“Well I have picked out my food have you, hun?” He smiled a bit as he looked up to you. You and him always got the same thing, though you both pretended to act like that wouldn’t happen, you both pretended that you were interested in other options. Maybe because it felt really repetitive or something but it was what you liked.

“Mhm the same as always.. Are you getting what you usually do..?” You asked and in response he just shook his head. You order soon after. Once the food came, it was the same as always. The flavor coating all over your mouth. You were quite happy with the taste. You always ordered a cream sauce risotto, with mushrooms and shrimp. Osamu ordered squid ink pasta with a cream sauce and shrimp as well. The food was always so good so you were glad it was the same today. After you got dessert. Osamu whispered something to the waiter as they walked away. A few minutes later they came back with a lemon sorbet. Next thing you know Osamu smiled a bit and pulled out a small box flipping in open. There were two initials carved into it. They were matching promise rings.

“Y/n, I love you so much. You were always there for me and I want to thank you. I know we are both still young but I want to make sure you will stay mine. So y/n can you make a promise that when the time comes we will marry..?” He asked softly. You were tearing up a bit as you shook your head and then the ring slipped on. God it was perfect. But now you were worried your gift wasn’t good enough being that Osamu bought you a ring and you just decorated a tree. Osamu and you finished dinner by getting up. Now just one more place to go. The Christmas tree show. You walked with him slowly, not wanting him to be so disappointed faster. When you arrived at the park Osamu ran to the bathroom for a second. To be honest he had been nervous the whole time so now he just wanted to freshen up a bit.

As you waited for him a male approached you. “Hey love.. you here alone?” he chuckled a bit. A bitter smile plastered on his face.

“No, I am actually here with my boyfriend. I am just waiting for him at the moment,” You tried to give a smile back, though you didn’t like the nickname love, It made you feel as if he and you were in a relationship, though you haven’t met this man once.

“Ah  what a shame that he is making such a pretty face wait..” He muttered, “how about you and me get a hot chocolate? Hm?” He chuckled a bit more. Though it seemed extremely forced, unnatural.

“No I just wanna wait for him, but thank you for the offer,” He was taller than you, maybe Osamu’s height. Close to that. You didn’t feel comfortable, you felt anything but comfortable right now you just wanted to leave. You didn’t wanna be near this guy one more minute, but at the same time you wanted to wait for Osamu to come out of the bathroom so he didn’t think you left him. So In the end you just waited for him.

“Ah well could I just get your number sweetheart..?” He chuckled a bit, throwing those nicknames that made you want to throw up that made you want to cry out for help. But when you said no he just kept pushing. Then that warm arm around your waist. Osamu's warm arm.

“Oh hey,” He knew what was happening but he knew that you were more loyal than anyone else he had ever met, he knew that you didn’t feel comfortable, “sorry for making you wait hon, we can go see the Festival now okay?” He lucky got you out of there, “I am sorry about that hun did he do anything to you,” He asked, walking down the trail slowly.

“No he didn’t do anything, don't worry, thank you for helping me get out of there, I really appreciate it,” you muttered softly. Soon enough you had arrived at the tree, his face turned from stunned to a weird emotion that you couldn’t quite read. Which was quite new you normally could understand what he was trying to say and now this just made you ten times more worried then you should have been.

“You did this..?” He muttered softly, turning to you as you shook his head, “Ah I see, I really like it. That photo is when we first met. I was so nervous.. Did I tell you that? I saw you just sitting there and I thought I was late. That one is from the first time you met my brother, oh god he even annoyed me with the amount of questions he asked you. That one was from our first slushy night, after your bitch of a friend dumped you to hang out with the cooler kids though I swear you were the coolest person in the world. Oh at that one is when we were about to go skydiving together, god I was so terrified did I tell you that? You acted so excited so I tried to pull off a cool face but once we were doing it god it was so fun. This is so beautiful. Thank you baby.. This is the best gift in the entire world.” He whispered tears falling from his cheeks as he pulled you to a hug. “God I love you baby..” You felt all the worry and doubt melt off of your shoulders. You were so glad he liked it. You were so glad he remembered these memories. These were some of the best memories of your life but you knew more were going to come.

“I love you so much too baby. I was so worried you weren’t going to like it. God thank god. You do so much for me and I couldn’t wish for anything more than this. You are the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I feel so free with you, I feel so happy with you, I feel like myself with you.. I get nervous to hold your hand. Every time you smile I just fall in love again. Everything you do makes me feel so free and happy, and I don’t want this feeling to ever end so thank you so much for everything you ever did for me. Those slushy nights are the best nights of my life, any time when I am with you I feel like nothing can hold me back. Nothing can harm me. You make me feel like royalty.. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but thank you for staying with me. I love you so much.” You muttered softly. Next thing you know you were pulled into a kiss. His warm lips pressed on yours, both of your salty tears mixing with each other. Little i love you're falling from both of your lips. This is how it was supposed to go. You and him, forever. You were soulmates, you knew you guys had to be.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[one-boring-person]

Dumb request but. Uncle Bob gets jealous bc someone hits on thee reader. (It's a funny idea tbh. Also change your name. you're not boring!! you're absolutely awesome!!)

Hehe, thanks for the compliment!😂💛 I loved this idea, so I hope you like this!😊❤💛

Total Strangers.

T-800/Uncle Bob x reader

Warnings: some bad language, some light sexual implications

Masterlist

The terminator goes stiff almost as soon as we enter the store, the unusual behaviour making me lift an eyebrow at him, looking over his perfect posture in curiosity. His imposing frame easily stands out amongst the other shoppers around us, but his new discomfort puts me on edge, aware of his ability to determine and assess threats before I even know they're a problem. With this in mind, I place a hand on the cyborg's arm, looking up into his face in confusion.

"Everything alright?" I ask him, meeting his emotionless stare as he turns it on me.

"Yes." He replies bluntly, still not having quite grasped the balance between using relative information and speaking as briefly as is necessary. 

"You sure? You're very tense." I probe, heading further into the shop with him, going to the section I need.

"I am positive." The terminator responds, following me, his eyes scanning the aisles as we move, the careful turn of his head still not quite natural yet, still a little automated.

"If you say so." I roll my eyes at his answers, choosing to ignore his obvious tenseness and start rifling through the racks of clothes, needing to find something to replace a couple of my old shirts.

"I did." Uncle Bob intones, standing over me, his large build hovering over me like a worried mother might fuss over her child.

It's not long before I get fed up with his presence so close to me, the terminator watching my every move, the precision in his gaze making me antsy. He shadows me around, staring at the people around us until they hastily walk away, his unnerving glare usually quite welcoming, though today it is just irritating me. After ten minutes or so, I turn to him, a small scowl etched into my face.

"Can you drop the hostile act? There's no need for it." I tell him, looking him in the eye.

"I am not sure what you mean." The T-800 frowns, cocking his head, a habit he picked up from me a few weeks ago. Usually, I find it flattering, cute, almost. But now it annoys me.

"I mean you need to stop acting like my bodyguard. It's totally safe here! You don't need to scare people off when they come within five metres of us." I clarify, gesturing to the area around us.

"Why? There is a possibility they may pose a threat to you. It is my objective to keep you safe." Bob recites, face going blank again.

Sighing in exasperation, I briefly close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose frustratedly.

"There isn't any threat, Bob. We're fine, ok?" I try to reassure him, "Just back off a bit, yeah?"

Frowning again, the cyborg nods and steps back, standing by a display of mannequins, his body going still, almost as if trying to blend in with them. Letting out a breath, I turn back to the racks and continue browsing the items there, picking out a shirt and inspecting it, my head cocked to the side, a frown playing at my expression as I consider it.

"Not your colour." A voice behind me suddenly speaks up.

Frowning properly now, I turn to face the newcomer, lowering the shirt as I give them a once-over, checking for any danger they may pose. Finding none, I relax slightly as the red-head smiles at me, showing me he means no harm, his blue eyes straying over my form with no particular subtlety.

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" I reply guardedly, my body moving to face him properly.

The guy shrugs, grinning at me.

"I don't think it will work with your hair, that's all." He tells me, coming to stand beside me, picking out another shirt from the rack, "This, on the other hand…"

Eyeing the garment, I lift an eyebrow as I realise he is right, though I'm far too stubborn to admit it, so I simply place the original shirt back and start moving away.

"Aw, come on! Please don't be like that! I'm only trying to help." The guy follows after me, dropping the shirt and catching up to me.

"I don't take clothing advice from total strangers." I inform him, trying to ignore him as I flick through some more clothes, jackets this time.

"Ah, well in that case, I'm Caleb." The guy offers his hand to me, still smiling, a glint of mischief in his eye.

Glancing at him, I don't react, waiting for him to drop his hand. After a moment, he does, only to instantly pick something off the rack.

"This looks like it would suit you. Wanna try it on?" He looks me over again, holding out the jacket to me.

"Not really."

"Aw, why not?" Caleb pouts, shoulders slumping slightly.

"I told you, I don't take clothing advice from total strangers." I try not to roll my eyes, picking out a different jacket entirely.

"Hey, you know my name. I'm not a total stranger." The smirk is back on his face as he says this.

"You have known her for exactly four minutes and forty-eight seconds. You are a stranger to her." A familiar voice interrupts us, the monotone sounding words muchly appreciated now.

Holding back a smile of relief, I feel my eyes flick up over Caleb's shoulder to meet the hard blue ones staring at the guy's head. The terminator stands over us, his imposing body easily dwarfing both of us, his expression blank, though his jaw looks oddly clenched, something I've never seen him do. Caleb turns to face the cyborg, his expression falling.

"Who the hell are you?!" He bites out, the words flat as he eyes over the much larger newcomer.

"That is not relevant information for me to disclose." Bob replies evenly, staring the guy down, "Now leave. You are not wanted here."

"Fuck no, I got here first. Wait your turn, asshole." Caleb snaps at him, though his tone is a little shaky.

"You are not needed here. Leave." The cyborg intones, disregarding the previous statement.

"How do you know I'm not needed? Think you are?" The redhead snorts, "As if."

"Your presence is very clearly not welcome. She has reciprocated none of your advances, and has been blunt with you to deter you. You have ignored all of this and have continued to pester her for no reason. You are not wanted or needed, so leave." Bob begins, clearly wanting to say more, though he stops at a look from me.

"I'm not going anywhere, and you can't make me." Caleb folds his arms, planting himself in place.

Brow twitching, Bob steps forwards, moving as if to grab the smaller man, hand already outstretched, only stopping when I intervene.

"No, Bob, it's fine. He's not worth it." I stop him, ignoring Caleb's somewhat triumphant look.

Bob halts, staring the other man down, a scowl starting to creep onto his face, staying in place for a good minute, before he finally moves, reaching out to pull me into his body, marching the two of us from the shop. Goosebumps spread out along my skin where he's touched me, the hand at my waist heavy but not unwelcome, the feeling of his hard body pressed into mine making me swallow tightly. We go straight to the car, leaving no room for conversation until we get there, at which point he breaks away.

"What was all that about?" I ask him, confused by his actions, "I mean, I'm grateful that you stepped in, but you didn't have to-"

I'm cut off by the feeling of his large hands on my waist again, yanking me into his muscular body, pressing me flush against his hips. Surprised, I barely register what is happening as he smashes his lips into mine, kissing me roughly, his tongue already slipping out to trace along my lower lip as I gasp into the kiss. My eyes widen momentarily, only to fall closed as I relax into the kiss, my hands coming up to run through his hair, pushing myself closer to him, his muscles right under my touch. The terminator steps forwards, shoving me up onto the hood of the car, still kissing me, his mouth ravaging mine hungrily as his hands start to move, pushing up my shirt to caress my back, one slipping down to grip my ass, tightening around me as he presses his chest tighter against mine. Moaning, I arch my chest into him, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth, the synthetic muscle exploring and roaming everywhere it can reach, only pulling back when I tap his arm, needing to breathe.

Heads staying close together, we stare at each other, our breaths mingling with each exhale, his hands still rubbing over my skin. It's only when a wolf whistle from somewhere nearby sounds that I remember exactly where we are. Eyes widening, I pull back further and look around, noticing the group of men walking past, three of them waving and jeering at us, leaving my neck exposed to Bob. Instantly, his mouth attaches to the skin there, sucking a mark onto my pulse point almost immediately, his tongue smoothing over the area, followed by a wet kiss. 

Trying not to moan too loudly, I gently push him off, already craving his touch again.

"Not here, Bob. It's not appropriate." I gasp out, lightly running a hand down his face.

"I apologise. I was unable to withhold myself." He replies, helping me down off the car, adjusting my clothes for me. 

Lifting an eyebrow, I smile at him in curiosity.

He simply smirks, having learnt the action from John, doing his impression of a shrug and helping me into the car.

[caranfindel]

Take these broken wings and learn to fly (15.20 coda)

het, but Wincest-compatible | about 2300 words | PG-13 for language | characters: sam winchester, sam’s blurry wife |

Julia has been widowed (God, what an awful word, widowed) for three years when she meets Sam. It’s a work-based friendship at first. She’s kind of lonely and sad, he’s kind of lonely and sad, and they gravitate toward each other. And then one evening they’re at a bar, the last ones left from an after-work happy hour, both of them drinking more than they should, and she thinks he’s kind and thoughtful and smart and he may be 10 years older than me but he’s still hot as hell and I enjoy being with him and I look forward to seeing him and maybe I should just… and she kisses him. He’s shocked; shocked enough to confirm that he wasn’t just hanging around hoping to make it out of the friendzone. And then he’s holding her face in his hands and he’s kissing her too.

It’s good. They’re good together. It’s not the earth-shattering, all-encompassing romance she had with Shaun. Julia knows she’ll never have anything like that again. Most people don’t even get one soulmate in their lives; no one gets two. And she knows Sam doesn’t have that same desperate love that Shaun had for her; she knows she’ll never have his whole heart. (She knows the woman he intended to marry was killed in a fire, she knows another woman he loved went back to her ex. She doesn’t know which of these women still owns that last piece of Sam’s heart.) But she loves Sam, and he loves her, and they get married.

(The sex is amazing. Sometimes he’s gentle, almost reverent, as if he’s afraid he’ll break her, and other times he’s fierce and passionate and almost tries to break her, and she loves both ends of the spectrum.)

She suggests they melt down her old wedding band to make a new one. It was an heirloom from her grandmother, a plain wide band of yellow gold that she loves, that she thought she’d wear for the rest of her life. But Shaun is the one who put it on her finger the first time. It doesn’t seem right to ask Sam to accept it now. A new band from the old gold seems like a good compromise. No, Sam says, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know a way we can make it ours. He has the inside of the band engraved with the same symbol he wears tattooed over his heart, and makes her promise to never take it off. Bad luck, he says.

He’s such a contradiction. Scary smart, but as superstitious as an Appalachian grandmother. Calm and unflappable, but with a weirdly hyperactive startle reflex. Kind and empathetic, but capable of extreme violence when pushed to his limits (seriously, don’t walk your drunk ass up to Sam Winchester’s wife and lay hands on her, and don’t get mouthy when she tells you to back off) and just really, frighteningly skilled at that violence.

(A little frightening and also very sexy. Julia’s always had a thing for the hero type.)

They both have nightmares. One night Julia watches Shaun’s face melting under his gear and wakes with a cry of horror. Sam holds her as she tearfully describes living on the knife edge of constant fear that comes with loving someone whose job is literally running into burning buildings. I know, he says, over and over, even though he can’t possibly know. The irony of their first loves both dying in flames is not lost on her, but it’s not like his college girlfriend was a firefighter. It’s not like he watched her go to work every day and prayed she’d make it home alive.

Julia’s pregnancy is a wonderful surprise. She and Shaun had tried for over a year before she was widowed, and she just didn’t count on it happening with Sam. They agree not to name the baby after anyone they’ve lost. Let’s not name him after our pain, she says, and Sam is okay with that. (Or he isn’t. But ever since she showed him the positive pregnancy test, she’s known she could ask him for anything. She’s known he would rip out his heart and serve it on a platter if she asked for it.)

But they haven’t decided on a name yet when her water breaks four weeks early. When their perfect baby boy is born at 12:10 a.m., the nurse announces the date and time and Sam looks up at her in shock and blinks away happy tears and says it’s the 24th. It’s my brother’s birthday. Julia is flying high on endorphins; she loves this baby and she loves this man and she even loves his dead brother she never got to meet, and she says it’s got to be a sign; let’s name him Dean.

She takes off her wedding ring, just this once, to have Dean’s birthdate engraved on the inside. Sam does the same with his own ring. He insists they go to a jeweler who will engrave while they wait, rather than leaving the rings there. She waves a hand at her lumpy postpartum body. You afraid someone’s gonna make a move on all this if you don’t keep a ring on it?

He laughs at her and says you’re onto me, even though he’s the one who needs to be locked away, still with that long lean runner’s body and the amazing shoulders and the goddamn dimples. I just don’t like us being without them, he says. He is a sweet, sentimental fool and she adores him. He bends down to kiss her, carefully maneuvering the baby he’s wearing in a sling, and Julia looks at this man and this baby and this life she didn’t think she was get to have and knows she’s happier than she has any right to be. And she’s relieved when Sam slips the ring back onto her finger, this ring imbued with the men she loves, so maybe he’s not the only sentimental fool.

(One thing she loves about Sam is that he understands why she feels guilty that Shaun didn’t get to share this life with her.)

In July they light a little candle for Dean’s six-month birthday. When Julia wakes the next morning, Sam’s side of the bed is empty and cold. She finds him cuddling their sleeping baby in the living room. I got up to give him a bottle, Sam says. I guess I just fell asleep out here. His red-rimmed eyes and empty coffee mug suggest he didn’t actually sleep at all, but, well. They’re both battling their own private demons. If a night cradling the baby gives Sam some peace for whatever reason, she’s glad of it.

Sam’s fierce love for their child takes her by surprise. If Julia has 90% of his heart, his son has 110%. He parents with a vengeance, is the only way she can think of to describe it. Like he’s making up for something. She doesn’t feel slighted, but it’s impossible to ignore that ever since Dean was born, Sam’s prime objective has been to make sure the boy is happy and safe. Everything else comes second.

(When she notices Sam has been carefully marking his tattoo symbol onto Dean’s clothing, hidden near seams and always in a color that almost matches the fabric, she decides not to say anything. He gets a little funny about his superstitions sometimes.)

Sam desperately wants Dean to have a sibling, and they try for another one, but it doesn’t happen. Julia reminds him that they’re lucky to have even one child. That having a sibling is not a lifetime guarantee of companionship and love. She should know, after all, since Stephanie cut her off after she married that asshole Scientologist and decided she couldn’t have a relationship with anyone who wasn’t also in their stupid cult.

Dean has plenty of friends and tons of activities, which Sam encourages with an almost religious fervor, but he never pulls away from his parents. They have so much in common, Sam and his son. Instead of rebelling as a teenager, Dean seems to grow even closer to his father. They spend hours together, paging through the ancient books in Sam’s study (she hates them, they smell musty and make her sneeze) or driving in the old Chevrolet. They even travel together sometimes, visiting those friends of Sam’s that live up north somewhere. Julia met them at the wedding and they were perfectly nice, thrilled to death that she and Sam had found each other. But she always feels like an outsider when they’re around, like they’re part of something she’ll never understand. So much history, with Sam and the brother she never got to meet. They absolutely dote on Dean though, and he seems to love them too, so the boys’ trip to Sioux Falls becomes an annual event.

(Dean is 14 years old when he comes home from one of these trips with his own version of the tattoo.)

When Julia is diagnosed with cancer, Dean is 16 years old. Sam does his best to ensure life goes on as normal for their son but somehow never neglects Julia’s needs. He throws himself into research and is always on top of the latest treatment, always at her elbow with the top internet-recommended remedy for her side effects, making sure both she and Dean have everything they want and need, all the attention and support they can tolerate. She doesn’t know when, or if, Sam actually sleeps. When she feels up for it, he arranges experiences for the three of them. A week lying on the beach, a weekend in New York City, a night in the mountains looking at the stars. When we look back on this time, he says, I don’t want us to only remember how much it sucked. I want us all to have good memories too.

(She doesn’t know why he’s concerned about her memories. There’s a good chance she won’t have much time to enjoy them. But it’s good for Dean. She doesn’t want this to ruin Dean’s childhood.)

Sam insists Dean go away to college as planned. Julia agrees, although she’s kind of surprised he’s willing to let the boy out of his sight. Aren’t you going to miss him? she asks.

So much, he answers. But this isn’t about me, and what I need. It’s about him. They drive Dean to school in the ancient Chevrolet. Supposedly because the trunk has room for all of his stuff, but Julia is pretty sure it’s just one last sentimental road trip in the old thing before Sam retires it. When they pick Dean up at the end of the school year, it’s in her SUV. Dean promises his father, more than once, that he’ll restore the Chevy someday.

Five years after Julia’s diagnosis, she’s sitting in the doctor’s office learning that her last remission was her last remission. There are no more options. She has months, not years. Sam clutches her hand and nods, once, as if to say I should have known this would happen; I should have expected something like this. Then he takes her home.

It’s a blessing in a way, he says late that night, after a little too much to drink. Knowing what’s coming. Having time to say goodbye. You don’t always get that. And yes, she knows this as well as anybody does.

Sam has always been supportive of her choice not to contact Stephanie, but one day he says Jules, I promise I’ll never bring it up again. It’s just that I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t want you miss the opportunity to say things that you’ll wish you’d said. Julia isn’t sure Steph will speak to her. She’s not even sure she’ll have the same phone number — they haven’t spoken since Dad’s funeral, a year after she was widowed — but she makes the call. And Steph answers. And cries. And comes to visit, where she hugs and cries some more. Sam watches it all with a sad smile for a while, then disappears into the garage to sit in the old Chevy.

When Julia takes her last conscious breaths, Dean is holding one hand and Sam is holding the other. She squeezes her son’s hand and thinks I love you, dear boy, and I’m sorry I have to leave you. She squeezes her husband’s hand and thinks thank you for giving me this, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for loving me and letting me love you. Then she closes her eyes and lets the soft, warm darkness take over.

And then. Then she wakes to a cool breeze and the sound of chirping birds. She’s standing at a lake she recognizes. It’s Shaun’s favorite fishing spot. And Shaun is there, waiting for her. And everything is okay.

Sam does show up eventually. Julia’s sitting on the porch of the cabin with Shaun, enjoying the perpetual nice day (sometimes a spring morning, sometimes a fall afternoon, but always nice) when she hears the familiar rumble. It cant be, she thinks. It can’t be that old car. But it is.

I’m glad you found someone with good taste in cars, Shaun says, as Sam unfolds himself from the driver’s seat. He looks exactly as he did the day she met him; no glasses, only a little grey at his temples. Still tall and strong and beautiful. She runs to meet him and embraces him as Shaun watches from the porch.

You found Shaun, Sam says. I’m so happy for you, Jules. I really am. He doesn’t seem to have any intention of joining her (their) Heaven permanently, but he doesn’t seem to have anyone else with him either. Where is the dead girlfriend? How is this fair?

They talk about Dean, and Julia’s heart swells with pride over her strong, smart, kind, brave son. He’s like you, she says. He’s just like you.

Sam shrugs. He’s a Winchester.

But what about you? she says. You’re not — you’re not alone here, are you?

Nah, he says. I’m good. I promise.

(Eventually Julia meets the first Dean, and she understands.)

===

I know a lot of people have mocked Sam's blurry wife, but I actually have grown to love the concept. Because it means she can be anything we want her to be. And yeah, initially I liked the idea of her being Dr. Cara, or Eileen. But now I don't think that would happen. I think Sam would have to start fresh to have that kind of relationship. And I also like the idea of Sam's wife having her own soulmate somewhere, waiting for her, so she's not a huge part of Sam and Dean's shared Heaven. I mean, they're gonna visit, obviously. And then they'll go home to their soulmates.

The title is from "Blackbird" by the Beatles.

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on... some funny games

[no spoilers to speak of]

Thoughts on Lair of the Clockwork God

The wisdom of the gaming cognoscenti insists that comedy is hard to do in video games. Having grown up with Monkey Island and Zork, I've never found this convincing. But one true thing is this: it's hard to write about comedic games. The ineffability of humor is hard enough to describe in less-interactive media; I can't even explain to my partner why Gretchen saying "I met January Jones once!" on You're the Worst busted me up, and they were sitting right next to me when she said it. Throw in the "you had to be there" nature of the player's active participation and I lose myself in a cornfield. The thing I found hilarious might come a beat to early for you, or not at all, or not be funny in text like it is in gameplay.

Why did I like Lair of the Clockwork God? It made me laugh.

The premise and particulars are a lot of "that could go either way." Ben and Dan - stars of Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentleman, Please! - have returned. Ben is still an adventure game star, but Dan has adopted platforming mechanics in an attempt to get with the times. So playing the game involves switching back and forth between a character who can leap across canyons but can't pick up items or talk to people, and one who can combine inventory but can't climb over a 3-pixel rock.

Does that sound potentially funny? Potentially grating? Yes to both!

The plot centers around our heroes trying to save the world from several simultaneous apocalypses and having to teach human emotions to a supercomputer in order to do so. (Don't ask.) These means, rather like Ben There, Dan That, traipsing through a number of fantasy worlds (read: computer simulations) until the correct emotion is provoked. This requires cross-genre cooperation: finding ways to get Ben to areas only Dan can access, getting Dan new power ups by combining objects in Ben's inventory (an act Dan insists on calling "crafting").

The best bits are at these intersections, when Dan's platforming is the puzzliest and Ben's puzzles take advantage of Dan's skills. Periodically the game gives you a Dan-centric platforming gauntlet the controls are NOT precise nor pleasant enough for, or a Ben-only moon logic puzzle that leaves you googling the walkthrough.

But I liked it! A lot. The genre-hopping seems to have invigorated the developers, Ben Ward and Dan Marshall. I discussed my favorite joke in Ben There, Dan That (in what is probably the least popular video I've ever made that wasn't asking for money), but was also dismayed that the game was never that clever again. But this one is, several times over! Progression here involves cheating your way to a better respawn zone, goofing around in game menus, exploiting "glitches," exiting out and loading up entirely other games. There is a lot of poking and prodding at what a game of this nature can or should be.

But, honestly? The only real selling point is... it was funny. The humor is as anarchic and metatextual as in previous titles, but it feels good-natured in a way BT,DT didn't. And there are, here and there, little bits of meat on its bones - the characters wondering if, as a couple thirtysomething white guys, the world hasn't left them behind, no longer comfortable with the juvenile humor of their youth but not really understanding the youth of today, but having not yet fully escaped the mentalities they used to hold. (There's an unspoken humor to Dan's idea of "modern" gameplay being 2D platforming mechanics, especially at a time when adventure games are significantly more popular than on his last outing; this is a good joke whether or not it's intentional.)

Also: this game contains the most poignant urinating-on-a-grave puzzle in gaming history, and you may quote me on that.

Having finished it months ago, I can't even remember what all the gags were that tickled me at the time. Comedy fades from memory faster than drama or frustration. Mostly I just remember having a good time.

Thoughts on The Darkside Detective

Here's a hook: sometime after the mayhem ends in Ghostbusters, The Exorcist, Evil Dead 2, or some other paranormal blockbuster that you watched over and over in the 90's until the VHS wore out, some overworked detective has to come into your town and piece together what the hell happened.

This is his story.

It's a good gag, and the devs wring every drop from it. Existing in a world where these things are commonplace and you have to fit them into some notion of "police procedure" is just funny. Like, it's one thing to have a running gag where you keep observing the moon in outdoor scenes, commenting, with increasing hostility, that its behavior is suspicious (it has been present at multiple crime scenes); it's a slightly different thing when, given the things you've encountered, the moon being the Big Bad is actually somewhat possible.

The game is divided into six main cases and three bonus DLC missions (which come included in the base game now, and the third of which is the proper ending/setup for the sequel). You are the cop tasked to deal with The Other Side - and, when The Other Side bleeds into our own world, its cops have to deal with you. You have a sidekick with a mental maturity of about 6, which I guess makes you the straight man. (You have to grade on a curve to find a straight man in this game.) And you solve tasks like rounding up escaped gremlins or finding an AWOL lake monster all juxtaposed with mundane problems like inter-office squabbles and having not bought your Christmas presents early enough. It's (pleasantly) lo-res and sparsely isolated, so the dialogue and premise do most of the work, but they are ably up to the task.

The gameplay... not so much. I'm an adventure game lifer, so I can put up with a lot of nonsense. It's mostly straightforward inventory puzzles and occasional minigames. Most of the puzzles are fine enough. As the cases progress, things get more involved, and the DLCs especially involve some awful moon logic. And the minigames are not above using that same jumping peg puzzle you've solved in a dozen other games already. So gameplay ranges from serviceable to irritating, but it mostly exists to string together funny lines and silly images. (Christmas mall elves being secretly in service to Krampus - that's the kind of thing we're talking about here.) You won't feel much guilt for opening up a walkthrough; the puzzles aren't why you're here.

The sequel has just been released, and both games are cheap, so check them out if you feel like smiling.

Thoughts on The Procession to Calvary

It's rare for a game to be hilarious to look at.

The Procession to Calvary takes its name from the Bruegel painting. It also takes all it's graphics from Renaissance oil paintings, and the designer delights in making famously rendered heroes and religious icons steal, stab, fart, and swear.

A strong Terry-Gilliam-with-After-Effects vibe is what we're describing.

You play as a lady knight from a war that's just ended, which sucks for you because, in this age of peace, you're no longer authorized to kill. And killing's, like, you're whole thing. But the one person your new, pacifist king wouldn't stop you from killing is the warlord you just deposed, who fled to the South. So you embark on a nonsensical journey to seek out the one human on Earth you are authorized to kill, because killing is just The. Best. Ever.

Of the three games we're discussing, this is the most overtly cheeky, and, at times, the most scatological. I could've done with a bit less scatology, if I'm being honest, but the cheekiness is very winning. As with Lair of the Clockwork God, a lot of jokes could go either way - a field of people being tortured and a woman on a blanket selling commemorative torture merch could be painfully try-hard. But something about the victims being seemingly everyone ever crucified or broken on the wheel in a famous painting, and having them writhe on their crosses in a way that is both gruesome and goofy, and having a cacophonous soundtrack of their screams and moans that you will now imagine every time you look at one of those elegantly elegiac paintings from now on... it works. That the music score is being played by an extremely jaunty piper who dances behind you just out of sword's reach as you traverse the field pushes it over the top.

Oh, and the puzzles, while never hair-pullingly obtuse, will leave you stumped at times. Push past that to get the proper ending, but, if you're sick of trying, you can, at any point, just start stabbing your way through problems. Which, again: it takes a very deft touch to make "protagonist resorts to violence" actually funny rather than lazy and obvious. And maybe, in another game, the perfect timing of every animation, the clever quips, the careful contrast of cathedrals and high-society music halls with gleeful sword-swinging wouldn't be enough. But something about it being frickin' Renaissance paintings carries it the last mile.

This is probably the basest game of the three, but it's also the one that made me giggle the most. Having a BFA that required several art history classes may have something to do with it. But check this thing out.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Nie Mingjue and Wen Ning as conscious fierce corpse buddies

ao3 link

By everyone’s agreement (except his own), Wen Ning was the sect leader.

Of course, practically speaking, Nie Mingjue actually ran everything; he was the one with the experience in it, after all, and he claimed he was no good at teaching, which was the other thing they generally did.

This was, of course, a blatant lie – the few times he did agree to take on some classes, they were by far the most popular – but Wen Ning had yet to figure out how to get Nie Mingjue to do anything he didn’t want to do, and anyway he really was very good at all the work that went into being sect leader, so it all worked out quite well for everybody in the end.

How they ended up with a sect in the first place, Wen Ning will never know.

The school had been Song Lan’s idea, though; that much was certain. Or, well, Wen Ning supposed it was actually Xiao Xingchen’s idea to start with, or possibly both of them, but Song Lan had been the one to make it an operational proposal and anyway Xiao Xingcheng had been a scattered soul at the time so Wen Ning felt pretty comfortable ascribing the idea to Song Lan.

Xiao Xingchen’s back now.

So was Xue Yang, but that was unfortunately unavoidable – their souls had become so intertwined by the time they’d both died that there was really no bringing one back without the other, much to Song Lan’s annoyance. Out of lack of better options, Xue Yang was currently being kept very firmly under control, even lock and key if it seemed appropriate - he didn’t object as long as it was Xiao Xingchen applying the locks - and they hadn’t entirely decided if he was going to need to be executed for the good of society at some point. 

Still, at least for the time being, he was being useful. No one could say that Xue Yang wasn’t a genius when it came to inventing new things, even if he wasn’t as good as Wei Wuxian, and their school was as much about research as it was teaching.

After all, demonic cultivation was pretty new. There was a lot out there to discover.

A lot out there to teach.

It wasn’t like not having anyone around to teach them stopped there from being demonic cultivators in the first decade or so after Wei Wuxian’s death, especially given how easily it could be picked up. Unfortunately, most of them weren’t very good at it, and there were pitfalls for any cultivation path, much less such a dangerous one, reviled by the whole world.

Song Lan, who’d picked up the basics during the time that he’d been controlled by Xue Yang, had argued that it was cruel to allow people to pick it up out of desperation and to charge ahead with no guidance – that without a firm hand to show them the way, most people would end up getting corrupted, or just mess something up and end up in a qi deviation.

(Nie Mingjue was understandably a bit sensitive about those, so that was the argument that had worked on him. Wen Ning, for his part, was a little bit bitter about everyone, and hadn’t much cared what happened ot them, but on the other hand what else did he have to do?)

So they’d started the school.

Only about a quarter of their disciples so far were there willingly – most of the others were dropped off by Jiang Cheng, who had some trouble dropping his habits of finding them wherever they were, and everyone agreed that their school was a better place for them than his dungeons – but the number was steadily growing as their reputation got out there.

Their reputation as teachers, that is. Everyone knew about the other thing.

The whole…fierce corpses thing.

Hard to avoid everyone knowing, what with Wen Ning, the Ghost General, being the sect leader.

Obviously in a perfect universe, Wei Wuxian would be the one in charge – of the school, of the sect they formed to support the school, of the whole demonic cultivation path that he invented – but he was busy in Gusu doing…something.

Mostly his husband.

At least he came by to visit on a regular basis?

Though actually now that Wen Ning thought about it, he didn’t actually like the times when Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang would get drunk together and came up with new ideas – it’d been Nie Mingjue who’d figured out how to restore a sense of taste to a fierce corpse, though he refused to divulge where he got the idea or how he’d come up with it but no one really cared to pry too much because it worked – because the ideas were invariably fascinating, innovative, and uniformly awful.

Also, Wei Wuxian visiting usually meant that Wen Ning needed to sit with Lan Wangji all night to make sure he didn’t accidentally liberate any of their staff, usually in the guise of keeping him company, and he knew the man didn’t like him. He always had a look of a man sucking a lemon whenever he visited.

…maybe that was just the name of their sect that he object to.

In their defense, neither Wen Ning, Nie Mingjue, nor Song Lan were especially creative people, Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang hadn’t yet been revived, little A-Qing hadn’t yet been reincarnated nor revived her memories – they’d just picked the most straightforward name they could think of.

And, well, they were all gui. What was wrong with calling it the Gui Sect?

Sometimes Wen Ning thought that Lan Wangji was unnecessarily judgy.

“What are you brooding about?” a voice interrupted his thoughts, and Wen Ning looked up with a smile.

“Sect business,” he lied, and Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at him, clearly not believing him for a moment.

“What about sect business? The trade disputes?”

Wen Ning frowned. “We have trade disputes?!” He hadn’t even heard about – oh, no, Nie Mingjue was laughing. “We don’t have trade disputes.”

“We’re supported by all four of the Great Sects, between Wei Wuxian at Gusu, Jin Ling at Lanling, Jiang Cheng – as a favor to the former two – in Yunmeng, and last but not least my brother. Who’s going to start a trade dispute with us?”

That was comforting. Sort of comforting?

“Are we bullying people with our resources?” he asked, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.

“Of course we are,” Nie Mingjue said, sounding satisfied. Ugh, sect leaders. Somehow – with some admittedly fairly major variations in style – they were all the same, always looking for an advantage for their sects.

Wait, he’s a sect leader now. Does that mean he’s like that?

No, he’s a terrible sect leader, which means he’s exempt. A bit like Nie Huaisang had been all those years, as the Head-shaker…on second thought, that was part of a giant plot that had in fact ended with the Nie sect ascendant above all the others – the Jin sect in tatters, the Jiang sect isolated as always, the Lan sect putting all their attention on having to corral Wei Wuxian – so maybe it wasn’t the best comparison.

Ugh. Why is this Wen Ning’s life?

“Stop thinking about running away to be a rogue cultivator again, it’s much too late for that,” Nie Mingjue advised him, not unkindly. Wen Ning hadn’t even said anything. “Besides, you like teaching juniors. Even delinquent juniors.”

“They’re mostly not delinquents anymore,” Wen Ning objected. It was really amazing how being forced to attend a class taught by Xue Yang was enough to drive most young people far away from the mere idea of being a delinquent again lest they risk turning into him – and to help identify the remaining ones that needed to be kept under very close supervision. “Speaking of teaching, when are you taking another class? Your training sessions with Baxia don’t count.”

“From the number of people watching, they should.”

“It still doesn’t count,” Wen Ning said firmly, even if it really probably should – watching Nie Mingjue, a fierce corpse, working seamlessly with a spiritual weapon specifically designed to eradicate fierce corpses was truly a fascinating sight.

Of course, most people were more fascinated by the fact that Nie Mingjue usually did his training shirtless – including Wei Wuxian, irritatingly enough, though interestingly Lan Wangji, who was usually the first one at the vinegar jar, didn’t seem to object – but nothing much could be done about that.

(Fierce corpses did not need to worry about the heat, or sweat, or any of the usual motivations for going shirtless, but Nie Mingjue claimed it was a psychological need based on years of habit-building. For anyone else, Wen Ning would think that they were vain and secretly enjoying the attention, but with Nie Mingjue…it probably really was just habit.)

“Fine,” Nie Mingjue said. “Give me one of the basic seminars; I’ll do that. Not one of the musical ones.”

Wen Ning had learned by now that there was no point in smothering smiles – after all, he was a sect leader, and no one had the right to criticize or yell at him for smiling too much or for taking too much attention to himself.

Take that, Wen Chao.

“No,” he said. “I haven’t forgotten that you’re nearly tone-deaf.”

“At least one of you hasn’t.”

“Xiao Xingchen means well,” Wen Ning said, even though honestly by this point it was pretty clear he was just forcing Nie Mingjue to try out new and increasingly exotic instruments for his own (and everyone else’s) amusement. “It’s a little funny.”

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes again, looking long-suffering, but he had a pretty good sense of humor about these things.

Also, if he was ever actually upset about something, Nie Huaisang would have fixed it.

No one would have enjoyed Nie Huaisang fixing things, but he would still have fixed it. He always fixed things that affected his brother. 

(Example number one: Jin Guangyao, his eventual demise, and everything that happened after that.)

“I actually came here to give you news,” Nie Mingjue said. “Would you like to hear it?”

Wen Ning had politely requested – a little desperately – that Nie Mingjue check first. The other man had a way of just saying things without any consideration for the anxiety of the person he was talking to, with things like “we’ve misplaced a student” or “don’t worry it wasn’t a student we actually liked” or “Xue Yang is on the loose and he’s summoned something again” or, one memorable instance, “Baxia decided to summon a dozen of her close friends and family and they may or may not be attacking the staff rooms, but honestly she’s having so much fun that I don’t really feel like stopping her, thought you should know.”

Wen Ning took a deep breath that he didn’t need, firmed up his emotional resiliency, braced himself, and said, “Yes.”

“A-Qing thinks she found your sister’s reincarnation,” Nie Mingjue said, and the air shot out of Wen Ning’s lungs as if he’d been punched. “You know that she’s been sensitive to these things ever since her rebirth, we did some investigating, and we’re pretty sure. How would you like us to handle it?”

Wen Ning scrubbed his face. “I – have no idea. I thought her spirit was still haunting the place where her ashes were?”

“Just one of her souls, and the new body is one short. They’ll have to be reunited eventually or else she’ll suffer the physical effects of missing a soul, but there’s a way to do it that maximizes the chances of her recovering her memory from her previous life and a way to do it to minimize it.”

Wen Ning put his head down on his desk. “I…I don’t know. Our life was pretty awful, so maybe she’d be better off not remembering? But I also want my jiejie back…I hate decisions. Why did I become a sect leader again?”

“We told you that you didn’t have a choice and you lacked the spine to resist.”

“…thanks.”

Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Sometimes I really do wonder what you did in a previous life to deserve this one.”

Ouch. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Nie Mingjue said. “Come out and spar with me, it’ll help you think it over.”

“I don’t have time to think about anything else while we spar, though…?”

“Exactly.”

“…do I get a choice about this?”

“No. Get a move on.”

Wen Ning let himself be dragged over to the training fields. “You do remember I’m sect leader, right?”

“So is my brother,” Nie Mingjue pointed out and – fair.

“Your brother is one of the most terrifying people in the cultivation world.”

“And he still lets me boss him around. What’s your point?”

…fair.

“No point,” Wen Ning said, and waved to some of their more promising students, who immediately perked up at the thought of getting to watch them spar. “No point at all.”

In the end, he thought, his life hadn’t turned out that badly after all.

[dreamylyfe-x]

you know i'm rewatching the gallavich wedding planning and i can't help but feel like i don't know who this is, but it ain't mickey! them writing him to be all specific about colors and sh*t, like where's the real mickey from s4 who was annoyed with that guy listing beer types? i get they wanted to do that dumb gag but they should've used someone else for it. i mean ian's the one who was always meticulous about details, they showed that from the beginning. i don't know i just found it so weird

Aw, yeah. I get that reaction -- I think it’s pretty widely shared. And I suspect that storyline did come from someone pitching “it’d be funny if Mickey was a groomzilla.” Which is an idea I find annoying. Because I find the whole bridezilla thing annoying. 

But... I kinda love it, to be honest. 

I really like the idea that Mickey has an aesthetic and some artistic tendencies. We know he draws. I think there’s some indication in canon that Mickey is creative -- both in problem solving and in, let’s say, his sartorial choices. Mickey seems to act on things a lot. He’s not buying those hoodies without sleeves. He is creating hoodies without sleeves.  

Ian IS meticulous... or at least, he’s organized. He’s also given to executing a plan that isn’t necessarily of his own devising. He is drawn to uniforms and he seeks out knowledge he can apply to systems and processes. He seems to have an appreciation for creativity and art, but he isn’t particularly creative himself. 

So of the two of them, I think Mickey is actually much more likely to observe the details and to have opinions about them. That’s still a long way away from having a meltdown about gold chiavari chairs with white cushions. I do realize this. And I remember how that scene came out as a sneak peek the week before and I was... concerned. But when I saw it in context, I honestly liked it. Not so much the scene itself, but the story of that episode. It’s pretty much the only ep that season where Mickey’s concerns are foregrounded over Ian’s and, though (as always) I would have liked MORE of it, I like that we got this one episode about what the wedding mean to Mickey. 

So here are the top reasons why I like and buy this story. 

1. Right off the top, I don’t think Mickey objecting to being given a list of beers indicates he’s not going to care about what chairs are at his wedding. Putting aside that he’s lived an additional five or so years since then, Mickey doesn’t get annoyed in that scene because he thinks it’s dumb to know a lot about beer -- He’s annoyed that Ryan has asked him a question he can’t answer. I’ve always thought of that as a class issue -- He has never been in much of a position to CARE about what he drinks, and he drinks mass-produced pilsners because that’s what everyone in Southside drinks, because it’s cheap. He might love a winter wheat. He has no goddamn idea, because he isn’t living a life where you get to concern yourself with whether or not you’re into IPAs or lagers. Mickey DOES like beer. I was surprised and delighted when he recently ordered a stout at The Alibi, because it does indicate that his life has changed enough that he gets to know a bit more about beer. That at some point, he had the time and inclination to alter his tastes. He might have a different answer for Ryan now.

2. That Mickey wants things. Just... I don’t know. Mickey wanting anything other than food, shelter and Ian gets me so much. Mickey attending to his hierarchy of needs legitimately makes me teary. For people who grow up like Mickey -- asking for things can be a very big deal. So the fact that he just decides he’s going to make a wedding happen -- and a wedding with nice flowers and chairs that will reflect the light (because, we find out, that’s why he wants the gold) and a singer who will perform Livin’ on a Prayer -- is a big deal. And as many have cited before me, it makes sense that Mickey wants a better wedding with Ian than the one he had with Svetlana. But what we also find out, when we get the moment with the vows, is that Mickey takes the whole thing very seriously. He delivers those vows with complete commitment and deep sincerity. So I understand why he wants that space to carry the weight of what is happening. 

3. Mickey doesn’t break the chair because it’s not gold. He breaks the chair because every single person he’s encountered that day is a fucking dick. And they’re being a dick about his wedding. Something he’s happy about, and something he wants to celebrate. And, honestly, he’s not asking for much. He’d be annoyed, but most likely not violent, if his father hadn’t aimed a gun his face and some random old lady hadn’t refused him as a client because he’s gay. Brooks -- who tries to gaslight and act like the chairs are the chairs that were asked for when he knows damn well they are not -- is taking the wrath for a number of other people. But to me, the most important line in that scene is “why does everything always have to suck?”

4. Another thing about this is... back when Mickey responds to Ryan’s multiple choice beer question with “how ‘bout beer?” Ryan covers the awkward moment by making a joke about his own sexuality. The implication being that relating to beer with the kind of detail traditionally reserved for wine, is not masculine. And the thing is, Ryan is making a joke at his own expense, but he’s also acknowledging something that has always been true for Mickey. That Mickey has to make sure he never, ever displays any of these qualities Ryan so casually exhibits. Whether it’s natural for him or not, Mickey has to avoid anything that can be read to be a stereotype. He has to be hyper masculine, both because he’s from House that Toxic Masculinity built, but also because HE knows, even when he won’t acknowledge it, that he’s gay. So when we see Mickey openly talking about what flowers and chairs he wants at the wedding, he’s letting out something that could very well have always been there, but that he never, ever would have expressed back in seasons 1 through 4. Mickey doesn’t kiss Ian for two whole seasons because he’s so messed up about his sexuality. I 100% buy that, at that same time, he isn’t acknowledging having opinions about home decor. 

5. I like it when Mickey defies our expectations. I’m find with him discovering or revealing new facets or abilities or interests -- what I don’t like is when they have him do something that seems more like a regression. The show lampshades that this is something of a surprise, for Mickey to want a wedding, by having Ian be absolutely baffled by it for most of the episode. But they also participate in the end. There’s an indication that Mickey and Ian plan the eventual wedding together, though I imagine Mickey’s stronger opinions took the day in most cases. And the gesture at the end of that episode -- a romantic gesture just as surprising from Ian as anything Mickey does in that episode, really -- validates Mickey in a way I think is pretty beautiful. Like... he gets to be a guy who wants someone to sing Livin’ on a Prayer to him while he holds his boyfriend’s fiancé’s hand. He wasn't allowed to be that guy for years. I like that he gets there. 

So. We might not agree on this, but I really like that you drew a parallel between that scene and the party scene at Ryan’s because I hadn’t though of that before and I think it’s a very interesting one. I also enjoyed thinking so much about this on the day that we mark their one year anniversary! Because holy fuck. Gallavich is married! 

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[itsivyberry]

tri-wizard champion {5}

The Maze

Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader

a/n: my Christmas gift to you because 2020 has sucked ass and I want to finish this series before it’s over❤️ enjoy also READ THE MF TRIGGER WARNINGS THEY ARE REALLT IMPORTANT THIS TIME

word count: 4590

warnings: major character death, lots of blood, anxiousness, mentions of vomiting, sad sad stuff dude, also literally loss of a limb (there’s a warning before it begins, please don’t read if you can’t stomach it)

summary: the truth about the Y/L/N’s is to be revealed soon when Y/N is facing the dangers within the maze of the third task.

tag list: @drawlfoy @fanficflaneuse @ccelinewritess @accio-rogers @babyhoneystvles @nekee-lilac02 @dracofeltonmalfoy

masterlist

{ 1 } { 2 } { 3 } { 3.5 } { 4 } { 5 } { 6 }

gif credit: @harrysweasleys

The final task approached rapidly.

News about the sudden death of Barty Crouch spread throughout the student body quickly.

Y/N was growing anxious, more than she ever was for any other task. The spots from the grindylows had faded to a lighter color, similar to the two gashes on her back.

But now here she was, waking through a doorway to face the entire Hogwarts student body along with families and the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students clad in a black and yellow outfit to represent Hufflepuff.

The three Hogwarts champions stood by their entrance to the maze. Cheers could be heard from every angle at which they stood, a lively march being played by the band.

Many students had homemade banners with the champions’ last names written all over. Y/N smiled at the sight of Draco holding a large banner with a silly drawing of her and Y/L/N written in big, bold, sparkly letters. She gave him a funny face and a thumbs up, and he blew a kiss right back mouthing “good luck.”

“Sonorus!” Dumbledore casted the amplifying charm, and the sounds of cheers and music died out. Students clambered to sit down, eager to hear about the task.

“Earlier today, Professor Moody placed the Triwizard Cup deep within the maze. Only he knows it’s exact position. Now, as Mr. Diggory...” cheers erupted at the sound of Cedric’s name, and Amos held his son’s hand high in recognition, “...Miss Y/L/N and Mr. Potter...” cheers grew louder and students stood, yelling for Harry and Y/N, including Ron, Hermione, and Draco, “...are tied for first position, they will be the first to enter the maze, followed by Mr. Krum...” more cheers, “...and Miss Delacour.”

“The first person to touch the cup will be the winner. I’ve instructed the staff to patrol the perimeter. Should, at any point, a contestant wish to withdrawal from the task, he or she need only send up red sparks with their wands. Contestants! Gather around. Quickly!”

Y/N rushed up, following Cedric to where Dumbledore stood. Her heart was pounding.

The five champions huddled up, and Dumbledore placed his arms around Y/N’s and Krum’s shoulders.

“In the maze, you’ll find no dragons or creatures of the deep. Instead you’ll face something even more challenging. You see, people change in the maze. Oh, find the cup if you can. But be very wary. You could just lose yourselves along the way.” The ominous undertone to his voice gave Y/N goosebumps.

Draco watched intently, trying to listen to what Dumbledore was saying to the five teens, but had no luck. His heart was pounding just as hard as Y/N’s was.

“Champions, prepare yourselves!” Dumbledore instructed, and the crowd cheered again.

Without thinking, Y/N turned around and bolted to the stands, stopping right in front of where Draco was.

“Wish me luck!” She said, jumping up to wrap her around a around his neck and pulled him close. He sat up to lean over the railing blocking the two of them, hugging her so tightly. “Awes” and “oohs” circled around the two of them.

“Good luck.” Draco whispered in Y/N’s ear, pulling back just enough to press his lips on hers in a rushed and anxious kiss.

She pulled away quickly, touching her feet to the ground and smiling warmly at him, before rushing back to her designated entrance to the maze, unknowing of what she should find inside.

Y/N looked into it, her heart hammering. It was too foggy to see any clearer than maybe 6 feet in front of her, and the hedges were impossibly tall.

Her thoughts began to bite at her. What if I don’t make it through in time? What if something in there kills me? What if I get lost and nobody can see the red sparks?

She wished she had the support of a representative like the other champions did. Y/N looked over to see Amos giving Cedric a tight hug, whispering something in his ear.

Just as quickly as he had hugged his son, he made his way over to the young girl and gave her a big hug too. “You’ll do amazing, Y/N. I wish both you and Cedric the best of luck.” He said into her ear.

“Thank you, Amos.” She smiled at him, allowing him to step back over to his son.

Cedric smiled at her, but it was wobbly. He could tell she was just as nervous as he was, and tried his best to comfort her with the distance between them.

“On the count of three. One-“ Dumbledore’s voice was cut off by the canon exploding early. Y/N couldn’t breathe as she watched Harry take the first step into the maze. Cedric followed right after, and the lively music from before flooded through the small arena.

The second Y/N stepped at least two feet into the maze, the entrance sealed off. It was deafening, how silent it had suddenly become.

Draco watched closely, as his girlfriend was suddenly separated from the eyes of the spectators. He knew her parents were watching somewhere in the crowd, feeling just as nervous as he was.

The only thing Y/N could hear was her own staggered breathing and the snaps of twigs beneath her feet. The passage was narrow, and she kept her want tightly in her hand.

The maze seemed to change every passing second, passages forming quickly. She was running now, trying to make sure she wouldn’t get crushed.

The first scream caught Y/N’s attention. It was loud, and bone chilling, and echoed throughout the entire maze. She was so sure the other champions must’ve heard it.

She was frozen. The scream must’ve come from Fleur, she had decided, and was silently praying the girl wasn’t hurt.

It was when an explosion over head, red sparks from only a passage over, had broken Y/N from her trance.

From outside the maze, everyone was silent at the first sight of surrender. Draco was repeating a mantra in his head.

Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N. Don’t be Y/N.

A glimmer caught her eye. She had barely moved from the entrance, not nearly putting in as much effort as she thought she would.

Y/N walked slowly towards it, whipping around and keeping her eyes open for any threat. A twig cracked behind her, and she screamed when something tackled her to the ground.

Draco heard the second scream. He knew it was Y/N after Fleur was removed from the maze. It took all of his control not to jump from the stands and force his way into the maze to find her himself.

“Y/N? Oh, Merlin I’m so sorry!” Cedric pulled himself off of her. “I thought you were Krum! He’s gone insane!” He helped her up.

Y/N’s eyes were blown wide and her breath was short. “You- you scared me! Don’t do that!”

Cedric must’ve seen the glimmer too, a glowing object in the distance.

“Together?” He asked her, not taking his eyes off the prize.

“Together.” She spokes quietly, taking the first step towards the cup.

Indistinct shouting not very far from the two Hufflepuffs made both of them jump. Krum, who’s eyes seemed to be incredibly cloudy from what Y/N remembered they actually looked like, was shooting hexes at Harry.

Harry’s defenses were down. “Get down!” Cedric yelled, jumping in front of Y/N and dodging the hex that had missed Harry. Y/N shrunk into the hedge to the left of her, covering her face with her hands.

“Get down!” Cedric yelled once more, Krum yelling another indistinguishable hex at Harry who was now on the ground.

“Expelliarmus!” Y/N gained the courage to jump up, hitting Krum square in the chest. He was thrown further away from the three of them, and seemingly unconscious.

Cedric ran over to him, kicking his wand from his hand. Y/N and Harry both realized he was about to cast another spell on him, Godric knows which one.

“No! Stop!” Harry yelled, holding him back. “He’s bewitched, Cedric!”

“Get off me!” He shoved Harry harshly.

“He’s bewitched!” Harry repeated.

“Cedric! Stop! Listen to him!” Y/N yelled, holding him back as well. Cedric shoved her to the ground so hard, her wrist snapped in half from the angle at which she hit the hard dirt. She cried out and it echoed, using her elbow to sit up and her feet to push away from the two boys. She had already caught a look at the ungodly angle her hand was suddenly bent at, and it made her want to vomit.

Cedric realized what he had done at the sound of his best friend’s scream. He was about to hold his wand up to send sparks for both Y/N and Krum, but Y/N jumped up before he could.

“Stop! We’ve already made it too far.” Her voice trembled. She was shaking violently, keeping distance between her and the two boys.

It was silent for a moment, the deafening sound taking over between the three teenagers just as when they first entered the maze.

“Together?” Cedric asked quietly, repeating what he said earlier, and looking at both of them.

“Together.” Harry and Y/N said at the same time.

Just as Y/N took a step towards them, a violent gust of wind hit her back and loud cracking echoed.

“Go!” Cedric yelled, grabbing Y/N’s good hand and running towards the cup. Harry ran after them, as quick as he could.

They made it to the center of the maze, and there stood the magnificent Triwizard Cup.

“Go on! Take it!” Cedric yelled.

“Together!” Harry yelled back, looking at Y/N who still had tears streaming down her face.

“One, two, three!” The three students jumped forward in the nick of time, grabbing ahold of the cup. A bright white light filled Y/N’s vision, and she was suddenly dizzy.

The three of them dropped onto the ground. She could sense their location had changed before she opened her eyes.

Harry and Cedric were on the ground near each other, gasping for breath. Y/N was thrown on the ground along with the cup, just a few feet away from them. The shock was beginning to wear off, and the pain was almost unbearable in her wrist.

“Come on, Y/N. Get up.” Cedric spoke quietly, the stillness of their new location scaring him. “You okay?” He asked both of them.

“Yeah.” Harry stood, looking around. Y/N allowed Cedric to help her stand, and she could finally see where they were. He held her broken wrist loosely in his hand, putting a protective arm around her shoulder.

A graveyard. The cup was a portkey. The sky was dark and cloudy, fog covering the rolling hills. Y’all tombstones towered over the three of them.

“Where are we?” She whispered.

“I’ve been here before.” Harry spoke suddenly.

“It’s a portkey. Harry, the cup is a portkey.” Cedric smiled mischievously down at the glowing cup.

“I’ve been here before.” Harry repeated. “In a dream.”

“Cedric! We have to get back to the cup. Now!” Harry’s voice was filled with fear and realization.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Y/N asked, her eyes filling with tears again, thinking the worst that could possibly happen. Were they set up?

“What are you talking about?” Cedric pulled Y/N closer, trying to keep her safe from whatever Harry had realized.

A door creaked open loudly in front of them. It made Y/N jump, and the first tear rolled down her cheek.

Harry began shouting when a figure walked from the doorway. A scruffy man turned as he collapsed on the ground, and a fire was lit from under a large cauldron in front of the doorway. Cedric released Y/N from his hold, rushing over to Harry.

“Harry! What is it?” He spoke, his voice cracking from fear.

“Get back to the cup!” Harry yelled out of pain again, sounding rather irritated.

Cedric put distance between him and Harry as the figure stepped out from the doorway. Y/N immediately recognized him as Peter Pettigrew, a good friend of her parents before he betrayed them all for Voldemort. Her eyes were wide when she realized what he was holding in his arms.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Cedric spoke, holding his wand up as a threat.

“Cedric, back down now!” Y/N yelled pulling his shoulder back. He shrugged her off.

“Kill the spare. Keep the girl alive.” A raspy voice spoke.

“Avada Kedavra!”

“No! Cedric!” Harry yelled, attempting to stand but was too late.

A bright green light temporarily blinded her. She watched the unforgivable curse hit Cedric and throw him over her head and behind her. The second his corpse hit the ground, a loud sob escaped her mouth.

Peter rushed over to Harry, using his wand to force him to stand. He backed him up into a statue that locked him in place.

“Do it! Now!” The raspy voice spoke again.

Peter hesitated for a moment. He walked over to the cauldron, keeping a hold of the blanket in his hands but dropped whatever was holding it into the boiling substance.

“Bone of the father unwillingly given.” A disgusting bone was levitated from the ground, caught on fire and into the cauldron.

Y/N’s breathing was too short when the realization of a dead body behind her set in.

“Flesh of the servant...” he turned suddenly, rushing to Y/N and forcing her towards the cauldron.

“Stop! What are you doing to me!” She yelled, trying to release herself from his grip, but it was too strong.

“Willingly sacrificed.” A large knife was pulled from his sleeve. He forced her broken wrist above the steaming substance as she thrashed against him.

********THIS PART IS GROSS PLEASE PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE REALLY GORY STUFF!!!!!!!!!!! ‼️‼️‼️‼️

With no hesitation, he dug the sharp knife into her wrist, cutting through the bone and severing her hand into the liquid below. She screamed, louder than she ever thought she could. Blood spurt from her hand, staining the grass by her feet. Peter threw her on the ground, away from him and Harry.

She made quick work, ripping part of her shirt to wrap around her wrist, trying not to pass out from the loss of blood and the sight of her bone. Y/N had been taught what to do in this situation, just not to herself. She could barely even register what was happening as her fight or flight took over.

“And blood of the enemy...” he used the same knife to cut part of Harry’s sleeve. “Forcibly taken.” Peter dug the knife into his wrist, blood rushing down Harry’s arm and dripping from his elbow. He cried in pain, and it made Y/N wince.

Peter tapped the hilt of the knife over the cauldron, letting a few dropped of Harry’s blood sizzle into the liquid.

“The Dark Lord shall rise... again.” He spoke, breathing loudly.

Harry’s screams broke Y/N from her daze due to the blood loss. The entire cauldron caught on fire, melting away to reveal none other than the slimey, naked, disgusting body of Lord Voldemort.

Black smoke surrounded him before his pale feet touched the ground, forming into a cloak of some sort.

Y/N could hear him inhale deeply, running his hands along the pale, veiny skin on his head. She could tell this was the first time in a while he had taken his human form.

Peter stepped forward, his face full of awe and adoration.

Voldemort walked forward to Peter, looking down and laughing quietly but maniacally and the form he had taken.

“My wand, Wormtail.” Voldemort spoke harshly toward his follower, holding out his hand. Peter brandished the wand, bowing deeply and holding it out to Voldemort.

“Y/N, hey, look at me! You’re going to be okay. We are going to make it out of this. Stay close to the portkey.” Harry whispered, turning his head to see Y/N in her awful state. She looked petrified, seemingly wishing this was some sort of nightmare.

They watched as Voldemort took the wand from Peter, inhaling deeply.

“Hold out your arm.” He commanded Peter.

“Master...” Peter started to cry. “Thank you, master.” He began to hold out one of his arms.

“The other arm, Wormtail.” Voldemort spat. Peter’s eyes went wide as he held his other arm, allowing Voldemort to take a grip on it.

He shoved the tip of his wand onto the bare skin of Peter’s wrist, and the dull ink that once was there grew darker, revealing the Dark Mark in its true form.

Thunder rumbled throughout the graveyard. Y/N jumped, trying to stay as quiet as she could.

Voldemort looked up into the clouds. Y/N followed his gaze, and right before her eyes a dark skull formed. The skull opened its mouth, and a thick trail of smoke bellowed out of it, heading right towards where they were. The smoke broke off into different paths, becoming darker.

The second the smoke touched the ground, a person appeared. There were too many for her to count. Dressed in dark cloaks, skull masks and pointing hats, she couldn’t identify any of them.

“Welcome, my friends. Thirteen years, it’s been, and yet... here you stand before me as though it were only yesterday. I confess myself... disappointed.” Voldemort spat again, his voice echoing through the graveyard.

“Not one of you tried to find me. Crabbe!” Voldemort yelled, rushing up to one of the figures and ripping the skull mask off. Dark smoke followed.

With just a flick of his hand, Voldemort was now revealing the figures.

“Macnair! Goyle!” Y/N recognized the names. Crabbe and Goyle, two of Draco’s closest minions. She was silently praying there wasn’t a Malfoy among them.

“Not even you, Lucius.” Voldemort walked up to the last standing figure, ripping of the mask. A crow flew away violently from behind them.

Y/N was trying to stop the bleed of her wrist, but it soaked through the fabric she had wrapped on it. She was fighting off the black spots of her vision.

“My lord,” Lucius was brought to his knees. “Had I detected any sign, a whisper of your whereabouts-“

“There were signs, my slippery friend. And more than whispers.” Voldemort interrupted him.

“I assure you, my Lord, I have never renounced the old ways.” Lucius removed the hat from his head, revealing a familiar platinum blonde. Y/N let out an involuntary sob as she realized, but soon quieted down.

“The face I have been obliged to present each day since your... absence... that is my true mask.” Lucius continued as the other Deatheaters around them stood.

“I returned.” Peter spoke shakily, raising a hand for recognition. He gasped and doubled over when Voldemort rushed over to him, the cloak bellowing behind him.

“Out of fear, not loyalty. Still, you have proved yourself useful these past few months, Wormtail.” Voldemort’s voice softened just the slightest bit.

Y/N didn’t have time to realize when he was walking over to where she sat on the ground, over by Cedric’s body.

“Oh...” he spoke, pushing his face around with his foot. Y/N winced as he tutted loudly. “Such a handsome boy.”

“Don’t touch him!” Harry yelled, shrinking back when Y/N flinched and Voldemort glared at him.

“And who might this be, Wormtail? I see you used her for the spell.” Voldemort sneered, looking down at Y/N.

“Y/N Y/L/N, my Lord.” Wormtail spoke up. From behind Voldemort, Y/N saw Lucius whip around with an unrecognizable look on his face.

“Y/L/N?” Voldemort repeated, and Peter nodded. “Stand, girl, now.” He demanded.

Y/N stood slowly and shakily, keeping her composure in front of the Dark Lord himself.

Voldemort’s hand whipped out to grab her wrist, taking a look at the damage that was done. She inhaled sharply, letting out another sob from the grip he had.

“Well done. You have served me well, Y/N.” Voldemort said, dropping his grip and letting her arm fall limp. She kept a hard face despite the tears running down her cheeks.

Her eyes flickered to Harry. He had an expression that said “back down.” Voldemort followed her line of sight to look at the boy he hated so very much.

“Harry. Oh, I’d almost forgotten you were here. Standing on the bones of my father. I’d introduce you, but word has it you’re almost as famous as me these days.” Voldemort paused, maintaining eye contact for a second more.

He turned suddenly to his followers. “The boy who lived. How lies have fed your legend, Harry. Shall I reveal what really happened that night 13 years ago?”

“Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers? Yes, shall I?” Hs muttered to himself, walking away from Harry.

“It was love. You see, when dear, sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only son, she provided the ultimate protection. I could not touch him. It was old magic. Something I should have foreseen. But no matter, no matter. Things have changed.” Voldemort ended his monologue, rushing up to Harry and raising a hand as if to strike him.

“I can touch you... now.” He brought his pointer finger to touch Harry’s scar.

The screams that filled Y/N’s ears were agonizing. She shrunk into herself, wincing away from the noises. When Voldemort screamed along with Harry, ripping his hand away from his face, the screams stopped.

“Astonishing what a few drops of your blood with do, eh, Harry? Pick up your wand, Potter!” Voldemort released the statues grip on Harry, letting him drop to the ground.

“I said, pick it up! Get up! Get up! You’ve been taught how to duel, I presume, yes? First, we bow to each other. Come on, now, Harry. The niceties must be observed. Dumbledore wouldn’t want you to forget your manners, would he? I said, bow.” He was speaking so quickly, almost going crazy at the thought of fighting Harry once and for all. With a wave of his wand, Harry was forced into a bow.

“That’s better. And now!” Voldemort growled, running towards Harry and throwing him onto the ground. Y/N watched, using her feet to shove her back farther from the scene. When she hit something, she turned around quickly to see Cedric.

“No, no, no, no.” She kept repeating, grabbing his face in her hands. It was as though she finally realized what had happened. She had lost her best friend. Sobs were heard from where she sat on the ground. Her tears dripped down her chin and onto Cedric’s cold face as the dual behind her continued. She winced at every hex that was sent to either of them.

“I’m so sorry, Ced. Please. Please.” She begged him, grasping at his shirt, still sobbing violently.

Y/N never took her eyes off of Cedric, even when Voldemort and Harry cast such strong spells that they collided, created a blinding light from behind her. It was went Harry’s Expelliarmus spell finally hit the tip of Voldemort’s wand when she turned around to see an abonormallt large spark erupt.

It took the form of Cedric, alive and smiling at the two of them. Another old man, presumably a muggle, took place on the other side of them. Two more sparks formed to be a woman and a man. The man was speaking quickly to Harry.

“Harry! When the connection is broken you must get to the portkey! We can linger for a moment to give you some time, but only a moment. Do you understand?” Harry nodded.

“Harry, Y/N,” Cedric spoke from above. Y/N’s tears began to start again at the sound of his voice. “Take my body back, will you? Take my body back to my father.”

“Let go.” The woman’s voice was heard. “Sweetheart, you’re ready. Let go. Let go!” All four spirits rushed forward when the connection was broken.

Harry ran quickly over to Y/N and Cedric.

“Hold onto him! Accio!” Harry pointed his wand at the portkey, grabbing Y/N’s hand as she wrapped her arm around Cedric’s. The portkey took them right back to the arena.

The three of them landed hard on the ground. Cedric’s body was sprawled, and cheering erupted. The lively music started once more, nobody noticing what had happened. Harry was crying now.

“Harry, let go of him. Let go of him!” Y/N sat up, pulling Harry off of Cedric’s body.

He knocked her off, the exhaustion finally hitting her as she collapsed on the ground. Fleur rushed forward, and Y/N had never been so glad to see her.

She screamed loudly, looking around and covering her mouth with her hands in terror.

“Harry!” Dumbledore yelled, rushing from his spot in the stands. Hagrid hesitated to continue clapping when he realized what was happening. The music finally died down with the sounds of a trumpet flailing.

“For God’s same, Dumbledore, what’s happened?” The minister rushed to the ground by Harry and Cedric. Two Beauxbatons girls were helping Y/N up, her head lolling as she finally began to lose consciousness.

“Help! We need help here!” One of the girls called, her accent thick. Draco rushed up so quick, breathing heavy. “I’ll take her.” He spoke to the girls.

Y/N looked up quick at his voice. “Don’t touch me! Don’t let him take me! Get away from me!” She screamed, thrashing away from his hands.

He seemed so hurt and confused, putting his hands up in surrender. Y/N could tell he looked scared, more than she was at the mere sight of him.

Madame Promfrey was quick to rush up to Y/N, Taking her from the girls and putting her on a stretcher. “She’s coming with me alone.” She spoke harshly to every student surrounded it Y/N. Gasps were heard as the stretcher was levitated and everyone could see the damage.

“That’s my boy!” The faint cry of Amos filled Y/N’s ears. She used all her strength to lull her head to the side, watching her best friend’s dad collapse next to his son’s corpse. Her face scrunched up as hot tears escaped her eyes, dripping from the bridge of her nose onto the fabric of the stretcher.

Y/N eventually succumbed to the darkness, not caring who could see how hurt she was. Every student saw the blood soaking her shirt, how dirty she was, and her missing hand. It was an awful sight, and some people had to turn away so they wouldn’t lose their dinner.

Pomfrey was quick to take her to the Hospital Wing, fixing her up and cleaning her off so she could rest comfortably.

~.•*✰

Students would linger in over the next few days, checking up on Y/N to see how she was doing. She was always the same every time; asleep, but alive.

There wasn’t much Pomfrey could do about her hand. Tragic, it really was. Y/N would have never been considered as a follower to Voldemort, much less a loyal servant to him.

Dumbledore helped shield her from the press and the students that were begging to know what had happened in the maze. He made sure Y/N wouldn’t wake up to threats or feel incredibly unsafe somewhere she called home.

Professors were now worried about how to tell the students about the death of the golden boy, and how to not let it slip that Voldemort is back, alive, and rapidly gaining power.

But that was an issue for when Y/N woke up, and the truth about her family would finally be revealed.

~•.*✰

a/n: wow! Sorry about this one! I decided to leave on a cliff hanger, lol my bad. I’m done using the movie as a reference so the last chapter is coming straight from the noggin onto my cellular device. Merry Christmas tho, hope y’all got everything you wanted! Happy holidays and happy Hanukkah, Kwanza, or whatever you celebrate during this time! Love you all so much

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[thesith]

THE DEATH OF ME - DARTH VADER

Chapter 3: 

Each mechanic was given three pairs of shoes. 

Two for working, one for other purposes like after work when getting food to eat. 

You only wore two of your three pairs. The third pair of books gave your feet blisters, which is why you opted for leaving your lightsaber in there. 

Lord Vader wouldn’t look in there, right? 

You’d previously hidden your lightsaber in a drawer, but there’s no point in that anymore. Who knew what inspections Darth Vader would hold. 

You shoved your metal alloy and carbon hilt through the top of your shoe, hiding it by putting a pair of socks on top of it. 

If Vader discovered you were a Jedi, you’d be a dead woman. 

You barely slept through the night. You were worried Vader could sense your dreams. 

Nightmares, more like. 

A few times during the night you felt prodding around your head. 

‘Damn,’ You thought, ‘Anakin’s a persistent one.’ 

Your mental shields never halted for a second. 

‘Why?’ Ran through your head. For hours on end, you tried to compile a valid reason Anakin would’ve turned to the dark side. Was it stress? Was he sick of the war and was willing to do anything to end it? Or did somebody push him to the point where he was going to destroy himself and everything he loved?

You never met the man, but you’d seen holo-reports of what he’d done in the war for the Republic. He was the poster boy. 

Now that you thought of it, maybe it had to do with the Chancellor who deemed himself Emperor. Anakin was seen with him quite a bit, wasn’t he?

Once your alarm went off, you stared at it. You were so caught in your thoughts that you didn’t realize it was already oh-four hundred hours. You slammed your hand on the button for the chimes to cease. 

Now that you were moved into Vader’s block, you had your own refresher and didn’t need to trek to your female stormtrooper friends’ quarters to use theirs. 

You grasped your new uniform which instead of being a navy-blue shade was black and red. Now you were going to stand out even more than usual. Lovely. You sat the uniform on your bed and walked to the refresher. 

You stripped your nightclothes from your body and entered your personal refresher. 

You bathed yourself, mind wandering to Jedi. 

Obi-Wan. 

Poor Obi-Wan. Your parents had told you many stories of their adventures with the young Padawan and his Master, Qui-Gon. 

It was awful that he was killed by his own Padawan. 

At least they were both at peace in the Force.

You then started thinking about the entire order. Could Anakin have been powerful enough to destroy Master Yoda? 

In your youth you had the pleasure of meeting the Grand Master. He taught you quite a bit about the Force. 

You wished the best for him. Though you’d only met him once, you could tell he was very passionate about teaching the youth. 

Even now you still kept some of his advice in mind. 

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” 

“How can you do something without trying?” Eight-year-old you asked. His words confused you. 

He then proceeded to whack you with his gimer stick in the shin, knocking you off balance. 

You laughed at the memory. At the time you thought it wasn’t funny, but now you thought that entire interaction was hilarious. 

You raked your hands through your hair, washing out everything that could’ve possibly gotten in it yesterday. 

You were one of the few people in the Empire that took showers that were as cold as ice. The stormtroopers were grateful for that, as they liked theirs steaming. 

You continued your frigid shower until you were sure every single speck of dirt was off of you. You were always thorough.

You wrapped a towel around your torso and a smaller one around your hair. 

You’d gotten out of bed three hours before you were required to attend your new job, which gave you extra time to yourself. 

You sat on your bed and started using the Force to levitate random objects. You hadn’t used the Force to move things in so long, you started to wonder if you forgot how to. 

You started with the brush sat on your dresser. You brought it to your hand and placed it on your bed. You unraveled the towel in your head and brought the brush up to your Y/H/C locks. 

The brush struggled to go all the way through your hair, but with some vigorous strokes your hair complied, leaving your hair absent of any knots. 

When you finished brushing every part of your hair twice, you stood and released the towel from your body. You slid on your underwear and trousers. 

Luckily this uniform was much more comfortable than your last. 

You put on your bra, then your white tank top that goes under your jacket. 

There was a knock at your door. 

“One second!” You threw on your black jacket with red stripes down the sides. The front of it has a red Empire logo. 

“The Republic logo looked much better.” You muttered to yourself, walking to the door. You were met with the same hooded figure as last night. 

Even though these were your quarters, you kneeled. It was only proper as he was your superior. 

“Lord Vader.” Now that you knew his true identity, the words dripped like poison off your tongue. 

“You may rise, Miss Y/L/N.” He used your last name. Surely he detected the distaste towards his name in your voice, yet he ignored it. “I wanted to confirm you were awake and ready.” 

You rose from your knee and kept your eyes everywhere but him. He was a betrayer.  You opted for not speaking. You thought anything that left your mouth would be disrespectful. You just nodded your head. 

“It would be wise of you to use your words.” His voice was barely recognizable. It’s no wonder why people didn’t know he was Anakin Skywalker. From the reports he gave to the news after a battle or mission, this voice was almost completely different. 

You cleared your throat. The prodding came towards your head again. He was trying it. Again. 

You rolled your eyes. This time, you forcefully pushed him out. 

“Yes, my Lord.” You sarcastically spoke those words. It was almost as if you were trying to get yourself killed. 

“Tell me, Y/N, where did you learn such strong mental shields? Is there something you’re trying to hide from your superior?” He emphasized his title. 

“We were taught in our training in case we were captured by Rebels for information, My Lord.” You slickly lied. You disguised the lie as the truth through the Force. 

“Very well. I expect to see you in the hangar soon.” With that, he walked out of your room. He believed it. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. That was close. 

You finished getting ready and pull your hair into a bun on the top of your head. You walk from your quarters to the private hangar next door. You enter the hangar to be met by Anakin. 

“Miss Y/L/N, I would like some adjustments to be made to my fighter. I’d specifically like a new hyperdrive as well as adjustments to my navicomputer for a widened range. And also, a new targeting computer.” 

A new hyperdrive? The one he has currently isn’t even a full rotation old!

“Yes, Lord Vader.” The name dripped like venom. 

“Good. I will return to see your progress later.” He spoke before exiting. 

You had no clue where to start. 

The hyperdrive and targeting computer would need to come from an outside source, so you decided to start with adjusting the navicomputer. 

You had to take the panel off of the technology inside of the fighter, so you climbed up and jumped into the TIE Advanced x1. You used your screwdriver to remove the outward panel from the top of the wires. 

Some of the wires were on the verge of tearing, so you also needed to fix those too. 

‘Wait... Jedi don’t need targeting computers. They- we use the Force.’ You thought. Maybe his usage of the Force sucked more than you thought. 

Also, you thought Anakin was a good mechanic. Maybe better than yourself. So, why doesn’t he do this himself? Is it because he’s superior and doesn’t want to do his own handiwork?

So many thoughts ran through your head as you adjusted his navicomputer for a wider range. You rearranged the wires as well as added some new ones to account for the new space that was being added. 

You also put new protectors atop the wires that were close to becoming exposed. 

Before you knew it, Vader was back. You felt him through the Force. 

You decided to ignore his presence. You continued rewiring and cutting unneeded wires. 

You bent into a squat to adjust the remaining wires. You felt a jolt on the TIE. Soon, there was a sound of boots hitting the floor of the fighter. 

Vader bent down to look at your work. “That wire’s wrong.” 

You rolled your eyes. “No, it’s not. You see this?” You pointed to part of your work. “I added that for the extra range. This wire supports it for the screen, which I have yet to adjust.” 

He was appalled by your disrespect, yet he respected how you didn’t fear him. It was a nice change. 

“Miss Y/L/N, are you sure you didn’t cross any wires?” His low voice spoke, radiating through the TIE. 

“Once I place the new screen on the panel, we’ll know for sure, but no, I did not. I’m positive.” 

You moved from your position and placed your hands through the top hole on the roof of the tie. You couldn’t use your normal tactics, as they required calling upon the Force. 

You used your upper body strength plus your quads to lift yourself out of the Tie and jumped down to the ground. You walked to the metal table that held the new screen. 

Once you acquired the technology, you reclaimed your old position in the fighter. You placed the panel back where it belongs, used cutters to make a larger place for the screen, and shoved it into the panel.

You tried to remove old bolts from the panel but they wouldn’t budge. You kept pulling and tugging, but they were relentless. Eventually, one came out. You weren’t expecting the sudden change, so you stumbled. 

Vader placed two hands atop your hips to keep you from hitting your head on something. 

“Thank you.” You spoke once you were stabilized. He lifted his hands from your hips and turned on the navicomputer. 

Luckily for you, the technology booted right up, showing an enhanced screen that was much larger than his last. 

“I have to retrieve a new hyperdrive and targeting computer. May I leave the ship to get them?” 

“What ship are you planning on taking, mechanic?” He emphasized your title. He thought just because you’re a mechanic means you can’t pilot as well. 

“Lord Vader, I am an excellent pilot. I can take whatever ship’s available for use.” You told him. 

“If you’re an excellent pilot, why are you a mechanic?” He questioned. 

“I enjoy fixing things. I think it was a pastime I had when I was younger. I fixed droids, especially Artoo units.” You replied. 

He looked taken aback at the mention of Artoos. “Very well. We may take a small shuttle. Where are we going?” 

“We?” 

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N. We. Where are we going?” 

“Um, I was planning on Naboo. Thats where the best vendors are located.” You said. 

“All right. We leave tomorrow.” He spoke before he left to return to his personal quarters. 

Maybe this would be okay. Maybe you’d finally be able to come to terms with the fact it was Anakin under that hood. 

“Oh, Y/N?” He asked, turning back. 

“Yes, Lord Vader?” You respectfully said. 

“I will have someone bring a cloak to your quarters tonight. I would prefer us not to be recognized by locals and people of authority.”

That’s right. Senator Amidala was there. You’d recalled seeing photos of the two together. 

“Yes, sir.” 

With that, Anakin left the hangar. You were stood there staring at where he previously was. 

You were going with Darth Vader to another planet where his former best friend resides. 

~~~~~~~~~

TAGS: @rogerinasthong @liziihorta