#it still doesn't feel fully real to me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
astral-herald · 5 months ago
Text
Viktor's (subverted) Aristotelian Tragedy
A common sentiment I’m seeing throughout post-finale Viktor discourse is an understandable concern or distaste for the element of choice lost throughout his story. I know a lot of us – myself included – expected more time spent on his transformation, along with emphasis on the anger/rage/betrayal fueling it. But seeing him allow Singed to “begin the process” in episode 8 reminded me of Arcane’s origins – tragedy. Bear with me for another long analysis :)
Tumblr media
Aristotle wrote the following on the tragedy: “A tragedy is the imitation of an action that is serious and also, as having magnitude, complete in itself…with incidents arousing pity and fear, wherewith to accomplish a catharsis of these emotions.” He also emphasized that the true tragic hero couldn’t be perfect, and his downfall into such catharsis-inducing circumstances was reliant on a fatal flaw, oftentimes pride.
Viktor fits this mold, as do many Arcane characters, and it stands to reason that this was intentional since the writing team has reiterated that the show is a tragedy, at its core.
Regarding Viktor’s fatal flaw, I’d argue it’s pride, but it manifests very uniquely. He never makes any grand declarations about his success and doesn’t draw attention to himself in any clear way throughout season one (“Progress Day” comes to mind). Instead, his pride manifests as staunch independence and self-reliance that lead to his downfall; his unwillingness to break his stoic mold arguably led to his use of the Hexcore…so it goes.
Tumblr media
Fascinating caveat: Viktor’s pride is a defense mechanism, a necessary tool he built in order to survive and succeed in a hostile environment to people of his station. His self-reliance is increasingly desperate as his illness worsens. He’s cornered by fate but banks on the sanctity of choice at every turn – in season one, Viktor is bound by the conviction that we all have a choice. It’s why he’s so distressed when Jayce makes the wrong one regarding weaponizing Hextech.
“There is always a choice.”
Viktor’s choice to fuse with the Hexcore is the classic Aristotelian fatal flaw moment, the singular incident that opens the flood gates for eventual catharsis. We watch Viktor make an irreparable choice, one that we know to be bad, and endure the repercussions. He then makes the choice to abandon the Hexcore, and end his life, but audiences can’t shake the feeling that those consequences aren’t leaving anytime soon.
Tumblr media
So why is Viktor so anti-choice in his final season 2, act 3 form?
Choice is Viktor’s weapon. Pride is what leads him to abusing it. Despite how uncomfortable and depressing it is to watch, Viktor’s slow descent into the Herald is a perfect twist of fate. The Arcane is even so insidious that it meshes with his original intent, to help those suffering in the undercity, while convincing him that their subservience is healing. He becomes responsible for their choices. He knows what’s best because he’s relieving the Gloriously Evolved of their suffering, right? The utopia is for the greater good, yes?
Tumblr media
Admittedly, it was really hard watching act 3 Viktor descend fully into his choiceless ethos. But we can still relate it to his tragic flaw – his pride has mushroomed into coldhearted omniscience; not only does he know what’s best for everyone, evolution, but he also has the sense to make the choice for them to supersede their “baser instincts.” The grief we feel upon seeing this perverted, violent version of himself, as far removed from Viktor as possible, is the culmination of Aristotle’s treatise on tragedy. The catharsis is the rock-bottom Machine Herald.
"Choice is false."
Tumblr media
But then Arcane decided to basically make Jayvik canon (get out of here, Christian Linke) and destroyed the early drafts of this post. I’m going to rapid-fire this next bit:
Jayce forces Viktor back to life. Viktor has no agency in his season 2 inciting incident. Again, it’s distressing when we mourn his agency, but it remains in accordance with Aristotelian tragedy.
Tumblr media
Viktor clings to humanity as long as he possibly can. When Jayce calls out Viktor’s trajectory, alleging that his old partner had died in the Council chamber, whatever is left of Viktor gives way to the Arcane because his last tether has been snapped.
Tumblr media
Jayce knows the game – Old Man Jenkins Mage Viktor told him so. Jayce becomes the linchpin in subverting Viktor’s tragedy. He knows what must happen. He understands now.
Tumblr media
Machine Herald Viktor is given the chance to undo his fatal flaw, to reverse the catharsis, when he sees Old Man Jenkins Mage Viktor. With Jayce’s help, he takes it.
Tumblr media
Given that it’s a version of Viktor who ultimately frees him from himself by empowering Jayce, we can gather that Viktor has liberated himself from his tragedy.
Tumblr media
Aristotle’s catharsis is rapidly transformed from something based in release to something healing – Viktor’s tether to humanity returns. He grasps it. The walls of his pride and self-reliance collapse. He accepts Jayce’s help, finally being seen as the full individual he is. Catharsis ensues, for sure, but I don’t think it’s based in the typical tragedy genre.
All this to say, I think Viktor’s arc was, in fact, carefully constructed. He represents the Aristotelian descent into a fatal flaw and that’s very distressing to see unfold, especially since he embodied the tragic hero archetype so well from day one. However, Jayce undoes this narrative and we’re given an incredibly subversive ending that I, personally, never saw coming.
Tumblr media
I’m sure that Mage Viktor has a much larger bearing on this analysis than I’m accounting for. But for now, suffice to say that he is Viktor’s way out of the tragedy. TALK ABOUT CHOICE!
This doesn’t erase anyone’s discomfort for Viktor having less and less agency, but I’d like to emphasize the logic and literary precedent behind the story decisions.
PS: here's a quick source I looked at about Aristotelian tragedies. I hope to re-up on Greek tragedies so I can get more specific about the parallels Arcane draws from them.
419 notes · View notes
maddieandangel · 5 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Consider: character-exclusive trinkets.
#dandy's world#vee#vee version 1#vee dandys world#vee dw#dandys world vee#dw vee#glisten dandys world#glisten dw#dandys world glisten#dw glisten#glisten the mirror#so basically‚‚‚ vee gains the reflection ability but for machines and it works alongside camera hijack#glisten gets mic check but for toons and it works with reflection <3#and if you're curious about lore stuff for the trinkets. related to stuff i'm writing with a very dear friend of mine...#vee made the tracker as a gift for glisten after a. Particular Incident™ occurred#which eventually led to her learning the depths of his insecurities and issues. at least to *some* extent anyway#originally the tracker only tracked vee's location. just. so he could feel more comfortable.#know that he's never alone even if he can't actively sense anyone nearby with his abilities.#and so that if he ever needs vee for *anything* then he'll know exactly where to find her#but! it's got utility for vee in runs too! means she's always got someone to watch her back who can see when she's in danger and help out#but anyway. the fact that glisten could use the tracker to teleport longer distances was actually unexpected for vee!#and once she found that out she upgraded the tracker to show *all* the toons' locations#but only in runs and on the current floor because it relies on the machines to broadcast a signal. whereas vee can be tracked anywhere#the hand mirror was admittedly more of a 'hey it'd be cool to give vee a matching trinket. let my girl teleport to machines' thing gfhdhdf#but. while my friend and i haven't fully confirmed it? i've had thoughts of it being like. a 'thanks for putting up with me' gift#that glisten gave to vee sometime after the aforementioned Incident. because that mirror has Issues#and struggles to fathom that anyone would still want to be around him after learning that he's. broken. imperfect. even his best friend </3#the hand mirror has glisten's sweater skin's colour palette because i wanted to differentiate it from the vanity mirror#but also. it's silver. second place. it's enchanted with glisten's magic but it still doesn't measure up to the real deal (gold) <3
97 notes · View notes
dandp · 4 months ago
Text
Most of my m&g was a fever dream that I can barely remember but I will randomly get very clear flashbacks to the moment right when I turned the corner and saw Dan right in front of me and honestly? Top 10 scariest moments of my life
16 notes · View notes
longagoitwastuesday · 8 months ago
Text
Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
8 notes · View notes
b4kuch1n · 1 year ago
Note
Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!
you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?
#ask#bakuspeech#I am joking to be clear lmao#thank u happy bday to me !!#tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me#cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly#so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around#I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know#I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited#and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead#and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak#listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story#it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao#but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol#it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did#I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u#lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here#the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games'#my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad
23 notes · View notes
yeonban · 16 days ago
Text
I was listening to an interview of Gagne's about her sociopathic condition and some of these parts really resonated with Tobias. Like her mentioning she's masking "right now" (during the interview) otherwise she'd be smiling and blinking far less, the story about how as a child she felt a pressure building up in her and when another kid who was sitting next to her annoyed her at the wrong moment she stabbed them and the stabbing made her feel startlingly euphoric, the way she was discussing empathy as something learned from society and intended to gain something from (a dopamine release/good feeling) because she doesn't understand any actions that are done by neurotypicals for no reason, her experience having to mimic her neurotypical sister to fit into society, the relief she felt when she met her husband who didn't shy away from her despite her unburdening herself to him about all of her (the bad, scary & unnerving qualities/actions/etc included)... there are a bunch of differences between her & Tobias' experiences too, obviously, but at least THESE parts were very on the nose. Especially one declaration that stood out to me: "Doing something morally unacceptable was a way to force a pop of color [in my life]" which is exactly why Tobias does anything he does. That pop of color. That derived amusement. The odd joy that follows which is the only thing he can really feel out of the positive cluster of emotions.
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; meta. ❫#I like researching about people with aspd (sociopathic aspd in particular... go figure why...) & I think the clearest glimpse I can get#is from mixing the stories of homicidal sociopaths with the stories of everyday sociopaths. which were/are still criminal in Some regard#but who didn't act on their homicidal or aggressive impulses for one reason or another & instead are far more/basically harmless#It's the most likely approach to help me understand the truth behind sociopathy instead of Just basing things off of common knowledge#bc lbr sociopaths aren't exactly portrayed in the greatest way in media! And Tobias doesn't help much considering his whole backstory#and how That has influenced him make him feel closer to the usual sociopaths we can find in media/news than the less harmful ones#but now that he's also... a little less rigid? or a bit more open?? idk how to explain whatever he's got going around Ash.#but yeah whatever That's called. I think I should delve a bit more into the regular sociopaths' lifestyles & belief systems#to gauge what's the shared ground between All sociopaths (what really MAKES them sociopathic) in various 'normal' contexts#I took the PCL test & everything for him he IS 100% a sociopath. The only issue is they tend to be vastly diff from one another#so I'm squinting at all the Shared traits I see in their books/shows/interviews/etc like I'm a clinical psychologist on duty 😭#One day I should write a long ass meta post about Tobias' sociopathic tendencies bc golly gee there's so much to yap about 😮‍💨#I do think he'll never be fully comfortable w someone who won't accept Every side of him tho. He's fine masking since he's done that#all his life & he sure isn't gonna stop anytime soon but doing that 24/7 can sometimes be pretty damn irritating. sometimes even exhausting#& obviously he sometimes wants to throw the damn facade on the floor and relax even if he can be unsettling as hell during those times#He will never show his 'real self' to sb he doesn't entirely trust btw. Not unless they're abt to die which erm... not ideal circumstances!#so 99.9% of people will never see the REAL Tobias bared naked to his core personality. Most will get some degree of truth mixed in with#a lot of societal bs that's either expected of him or that he wants to do to obtain their trust/friendship/etc. NEVER the full picture!
3 notes · View notes
baycitystygian · 4 months ago
Text
guys. I'm freaking out I just had an Experience
#I've never known what to think of ghosts or whatever but like. I just had a full ass conversation with a dead relative#via a pendulum#it's been a WHILE since I cried this much but it wasn't a fully sad cry#it was cathartic. it was so many emotions but it was so nice#I literally do not have other explanations for what transpired#I try so fucking hard to keep it still before asking anything and my entire body was tensed up so as to not move it#Denny if you're reading this HIIIIIIIIIIIIII THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU#I am absolutely feeling mental whiplash but also I am so grateful#OH! I asked her to give me a sign and sat in silence and then was like it's okay#-it doesn't have to be immediately. so a little while after I was on the phone with my best friend and the lid to the candle I'm burning-#-launched itself off my dresser. I checked and it wasn't wobbly so I couldn't have bumped it. & I could not have accidentally pushed-#-something into it. duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. that was IT.#I feel like I sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist but like. I try so hard to cover all the bases and possible explanations#^BY THE WAY. I ASKED IF SHE THOUGHT PAUL WILLIAMS WAS JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE THING. AND SHE MADE IT SAY YES.#even in another realm she's my bestie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#real talk I absolutely adored her even though I didn't see her very often because she lived out of state#like there was just something about her that was so gregarious and fun and her partner is also very autistic so naturally I adore them both#her partner also has Rock Flavored Autism (and plant flavored autism) so every time I see him I ask what mining he recommends#so far I've only made my way out to one place he mentioned but it became one of my favorite mines I've been to ❤️
3 notes · View notes
midnightwind · 5 months ago
Text
I love Dragon Age companion quests, but sometimes I wish we had more that didn't culminate in fighting a Big Personal Bad, you know
#I think I'm like maybe a third or close to halfway? through DAV right now#and I started doing the thought exercise of “what would your Rook's companion quests be”#and realizing that all the DAV companions have like A Person or Entity they're trying to confront and fight#I think Taash and Emmrich are the only ones who don't and I am Fascinated with their internal struggles#and maybe that changes in the next leg of personal quests idk#but I wish we got more of that stuff in general#just people dealing with how messy life is and how hard it is to find your place#anyways my Rook Mairenn would have quests where you collect something before sitting down at like#the edge of rooftops or the canals in Treviso and she'd start sharing what her life was like before the Crows#like first quest would be her scouring the markets for a proper Dalish trinket#popping down on a roof looking over the sea and going like “I hate my family you know- the one that forced me out”#all the “just a kid angst” you can have before she just Chucks the item as hard as she can into the water#and quest two would happen after your first big decision#where she'd have you trail along the rooftops collecting crow feathers and flowers from trelisses#before setting them afloat with a candle on the canals#“for the ones who don't get to see the sunrise tomorrow”#before you get her lamenting how she doesn't know if her old clan survived everything#how she doesn’t want to go back to them- will /never/ go back to them but how she can't help but worry and wonder#how she's from the Dalish but never felt like she was Dalish#that the Crows are her family- her real family- and it feels like a betrayal to still wonder of those who came before#before capping it off with like “but my clan kicked me out and I got picked up by slavers for it so fuck them right?”#trying to laugh it off before pushing you to get back to the Lighthouse#maybe a little more on how Scared she was for Treviso- for her 'maybe older brother maybe adoptive father' Viago not being there at the end#(I haven't fully clocked the vibes there but the letter you start with from him gives older brother vibes lmao)#I dunno what the next quest or culmination of this is yet but it's been fun to think about
3 notes · View notes
barbatos-sama · 7 months ago
Text
i did have to spend money for kinnich but it was so worth it bc he's So fun to play with also i just really like him
2 notes · View notes
jlf23tumble · 3 months ago
Note
Jen, v random but I think you follow the whatiwillsay pod? I was wondering if you had thoughts about their larry ep from a couple of years ago? 
I do follow her on spotify, but I don't always listen (depends what I have in queue, the topic, etc). I *did* listen to that ep, though, and I disagreed with pretty much all of it MAINLY because you can't have it both ways, i.e., you can't say here's all this gryles proof, here's all this swiftgron proof, then dismiss larry or kaylor when it's the exact same amount of evidenceTM. Like, I'm all for reaching, reach away! But when you're matching, then match it! If it's fandom bullshit, call it as such, but where there's that much smoke, there's at least a wee bit of fire!
#it felt very much like well THIS one is real#but this exact same one isn't lol#all because of some insanity in the fanbase--and i get that#i saw it just recently in fact--like if you're gonna say shit like my ship is real! this 1/2 was pictured by himself in one city!#this 1/2 was pictured with fans in this other city half a world away!#THEY'RE MARRIED!!#it sounds insane because it is#and it means a lot of people will write off EVERYTHING ELSE accordingly#you can show randos outside of fandom early larry proof posts and the will 1000000% get it#but if you try to act like it carries over to today it not only does NOT carry over#it sounds literally insane and negates most of anything else#hence the big anti gap#if more larries left room for jesus (breakups etc) it would be a lot less crazy sounding#and yet!#ditto kaylors!!!!!#so I respect Cam as an outsider thinking hey yeah no#because she CAN accept that her ship (swiftgron) is done and over#but that said i still feel like if you're saying all this proof of gryles being so valid means you can't ipso facto larry NEVER existed#esp when you talk about louis's very clear jealousy...it's not purely just guys being bros who are pals...that just doesn't check out#and once again the fact that larries can't be YES they were a thing but they broke up later and/or it's messy#it has to be gold-star virgins who have only fucked each other#or else you're a full-on anti#well congrats you played yourself and excluded all room for nuance so OF COURSE you'll get podcasts saying larry is bullshit#it ain't that deep#it's also why a lot of this fandom is 'broken' etc#can someone like me be considered a larrie if i think they WERE a thing but they aren't any longer? i'm not saying they can't in the future#but i'd imagine i'm an ex-larrie in the eyes of the lord (redacted shitty blog names) and fine by me!#and yet that's not the full larrie definition you know?#so again OF COURSE podcasts not fully in this gatekeep mindfuck aren't gonna get it or even care#and more power to 'em i say
1 note · View note
ceramicbeetle · 10 months ago
Text
the thing about Aelwyn that I think about a lot is that there's a lot to the notion that she, to a certain extent, was so abrasive with Adaine because of how obstinate Adaine is with their parents. If you have based a chunk of your personality on the precept of "The only way to protect myself is to meet my parents' expectations and obey them at all costs", then every time Adaine pushes back against them, there is almost unquestionably a fear-response -- even if you aren't the one who set your parent off, their stress/frustration can fill a room to the point of becoming smothering anyway. And if you don't feel safe getting mad at your parents for being a source of stress/fear in your life, then invariably the only thing you can do is begin to resent the third-party who you perceive as setting them off for no reason instead of playing it safe, like you do.
#N posts stuff#NOT saying this in a 'oh poor aelwyn; adaine's such a Problematic Asshole' way lmfao -- that wouldn't make Any sense#but just sort of in an idle 'what Were Aelwyn's motivations and reasonings for her role in things?' musing#i think that Aelwyn was like. to an Extent was kind of drinking the kool-aid in a way that only really got destabilized after being torture#of like 'Adaine is treated badly bc she behaves badly. i am a good daughter so my parents treat me better' being completely shaken#when Aelwyn has been completely destroyed by torture - even if she doesn't remember the mental effects she's still Physically#affected - and her parents continue to push her and refuse to allow her to rest and blatantly could Not care less about her health#and that triggering an 'Oh. I wasn't Earning any real love/respect; I'm just an easier Tool to use than Adaine is' realization#but Brennan does also make it clear that Aelwyn was Afraid of their parents in a way that I'm not sure Adaine was#which is interesting to think about. Adaine blatantly Dislikes their parents and knows that she's being mistreated and resents that#but with how freely she talks back to them - I don't think they Scare her? at least up until her dad makes more overt attempts to harm her#and even then she seems to shift into 'well I just need to Defeat them then' mentality instead of a 'that's Scary' kind of feeling#i DO NOT think that Adaine is like. better off or better adjusted or anything; i think she's just dysfunctional in a different way#anyway i am just interested in the notion that Adaine and Aelwyn both kind of saw each other as 'Aggressor' and resented each other for it#until Aelwyn was able to have that final realization about the like. full-scope of their parents' cruelty and like.#was able to sever that cycle enough to See Adaine fully and allowed them to reach out to one another finally
5 notes · View notes
moe-broey · 11 months ago
Text
Brain still soup but like. I think making one or both (or more!) characters involved in relationships with each other aromantic makes the dynamic soooooo much more compelling. Because if you remove romance as a motivator, you really get down to the nitty-gritty as to WHY that character is seeking out/involved in those relationships in the first place. Whether that relationship involves romantic factors or is more of a queer platonic thing. Much to think about....
#like i WANNA give examples but also it's always so difficult for me to parse it out too#but sharena being someone who longs for love but can never quite grasp it for herself is sooo real to me#while maintaining her harem like. how she still seeks out these relationships anyway. BECAUSE she wants it so bad#because she can't quite grasp it fully herself.#also veronica taking one look at sharena and not even fully able to grasp it herself. and going 'sharena clearly doesn't know what love is'#recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)#also this is something i'm exploring aaaall the fucking time w moe/alfonse.#juries still out on if i hc alfonse as any flavor of aro (i do think it'd be funny/if he was i think he'd be demi)#but like. w moe being 2 for 2 demiro/sexual. you might think that would make things easier?#but no. bc it's also extremely romance repulsed. as much as it wants to spread love and cheer. it is a hater. fervently.#and then there are cases like lif/thrasir that read as a qpr to me. only having each other in this deep intimate way#that's devoid of any romance/sexuality.#BUT IT'S ABOUT THE OBSESSION. going back to moe. IT'S ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING THE SAME PERSON#which i think happens to a degree w moe and ABSOLUTELY happens/happened w sharena/peony#it's also about asking what does this character WANT. what is the core of their desire#is it to fill an aching absence? is it to feel safe? to feel understood? to feel loved?#when your entire life you've felt you've been loved wrong/were unable to love correctly?#is it friendship? is it sexuality? esppp in the case of aro/allos!!!! like!!!! that happens!!!!!#and ofc! you have your aros who just don't. and that's okay!#but i never want being aromantic to be like. an easy way to write off a character who 'gets in the way'#or rewrite something you didn't like in canon. like. there are ways to do that second part#without doing the same shit i see people do w autistic people. writing off a character#or a hc in the most abliest way fucking possible. it's egregious.
4 notes · View notes
spamtoon · 1 year ago
Note
(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
2 notes · View notes
averageestrogenenjoyer · 2 months ago
Text
Brienne of Frickin' Tarth!!!! best girl!! best girl brienne!!!!
Oh my god oh my god oh my god but thinking about Brienne and how she didn’t reject her femininity by choice but everyone else rejected it for her because she wasn’t conventionally attractive so the only role she felt she could fit in to in society’s eyes was that of a warrior and how she was in love with Renly because he was nice to her and danced with her and treated her how all the other girls her age were treated even if it was just for a night and how she never feels like she fits in as a woman because she’s ugly but she never fits in as a man because she isn’t a man but she can’t go back now that she knows what its like to be free from those constraints but there is still a small part of her that wonders what it would be like if maybe, just maybe… and I just… George had absolutely no right to write a character that good
#brienne of tarth#asoiaf#god i love brienne shes the absolute goddamn best character ever.#For all the obvious reasons but also her story really really really appeals to me as a trans woman.#like omg!!! shes just like me fr!!!#this post is exactly why her entire story works so well as a transfem allegory. (you put it more eloquently than i ever could have though!)#like obviously brienne herself isnt a trans woman and theres no way gurm was even thinking about it like that when he wrote it but still#that scene where she pours her heart out to the elder brother!!! i swear to god ive never felt so fucking seen#your honor! shes just like me fr!#i even get to the point where like#i find it strange that so many people think Brienne's whole thing is like amazing revolutionary characterisation written by gurm#when like these feelings of Brienne's are literally my whole entire life experience?#so her complicated relationship to her gender actually really doesnt feel very out-there or revolutionary to me??#cause its literally almost all of my own gender feelings/memories!! on paper!!#i probably might sound like a smug asshole saying that - i hope you see what i mean?? no idea if anyone else feels the same way#i probably sound like one of those weirdos whos obsessed with patrick bateman lol i promise its not like that#i just love the characters of brienne samwell arya tyrion bran sansa joncon etc etc etc theyre so so so important and special to me.#this goddamn book series man#to think i almost didnt even get into it. like i got so close to never picking up the books at all lol#i only looked into ASOIAF in the first place cause someone got my name mixed up with one of the characters lol#if not for that i might never have read it!!#real talk though im fr worried that Brienne might not survive the series#even if she doesnt though itll still all be worth it just to know her and see her in action.#a true knight fighting for whats right! no chance and no fuckin' choice baby!!!#so even if she does die defending jaime from the brotherhood or die in the long night or whatever#it will ALL be worth it. “Men's lives have meaning not their deaths."#if brienne does die in book 6 or 7 i fully trust gurm to give her the most fitting possible death for her character arc.#Doesn't mean i wont cry for weeks!!!! But still!! 100% trust in gurm that he'll deliver excellent beautiful closure for her story.#My dream is that brienne will end up making the best sweetest most wholesome sisterly friendship ever with Sansa Arya Jeyne Poole etc#and in the end she lives happily ever after in winterfell with the stark girlies their brothers and assorted friendos. And Pod of course!
838 notes · View notes
arolesbianism · 2 months ago
Text
Did some abno fights in ruina today which means more nugget slots which means I got to write more dialogue for them let's gooooo 🎉🎉🎉
#rat rambles#lobotomy posting#oc posting#eva parker saxxly shao and anthony are now real (again)#the first two were previously on other floors before I more or less finalized my ruina roster#oh and saxxly I think I dont remember#anyways most of the fights weren't too bad except for road home fuck road home (its not even hard per say it just annoyed me lol)#in the end I didnt even engage with the mechanics I just dogpiled road home until I won#everything else was fine tho even if frost queen took me two tries due to me having bad pages on roland for the fight#anyways I think my favorite thing abt writing the lil dialogues for my guys is the death quotes#mainly because Im mostly trying to keep them not technically being able to remember that death isnt permanent#but it honestly doesn't matter much because of how my lob corp facility worked#aka yeah they may forget they cant die but they also forget that they're able to die given their current knowledge#they spent so long in the time loop tumbler that most of them just. genuinely forget theyre not under those rules anymore.#not all of them are so casual abt dying tho some of them do actually freak out and think theyre going to die#its just that most of them are still in level five employee that the corp won't allow to die mindset#dont get it twisted tho almost all of them are still putting in their all for various reasons#another fun thing abt writing a lot of them is that a lot of them are like. weirdly genuinely excited to enter combat with visitors.#now that's not so odd with some of them but several of the generally less violent and nicer people still find themselves kinda giddy#mostly because y'know. this is new. everything thats happening to them now is new and real and Happening#and this is their first time in a Long time that they get to see glimpses of the outside world! these are people! new people!#its not always a good feeling killing ppl especially the more sympathetic ones but its still New so even the ones who feel bad abt it are#still lowkey popping bottles everytime they get to get on the battlefield#unfortunately dexter is exluded from this. I say unfortunately because bestie is on yesod floor aka my main. rip.#dexter was already fully in I dont wanna die mode during lob corp so here shes practically screaming the whole fight every fight#screaming and sobbing and begging for mercy while winning and all that#honestly in my minds eye if my info team fought eachother unarmed dexter would probably easily beat most of them#I say most because yum is the one of the crew who had actual combat training pre lob corp but it might still be a fairly even fight#in my minds eye dexter is a huge wuss but could still easily beat the shit out of most ppl while acting like theyre losing#the other three aren't pushovers either ofc they just are mostly used to combat in lob corp only
0 notes
ratinthevoid · 8 months ago
Text
i wish i had different moods available than 1) too scared to breath too loud can't do anything out of fear 2) completely numb too 'i don't know how to care to do anything'
1 note · View note